#and you shouldn’t even have to assume that their attraction was comphet!

[island-ofthelost]

“gob is actually bi!” “mac is actually bi!”

🤏 shut

these are two characters that have been explicitly confirmed to be gay. It’s been confirmed by the creators of Arrested Development that Gob is gay. Mac has flat out said “I’m gay” meaning he came out explicitly as gay. “but they’ve shown attraction to women which means they’re-”

🤏 SHUT

Do you not know what compulsory heterosexuality is? Would you go up to a real life gay person who’s dated someone of the opposite gender and tell them they’re actually bi? No, right? Because that would be disrespectful. Hot take? But headcanon is over when that aspect of the character has been explicitly confirmed. ESPECIALLY if you’re going to negate it.

[torturingpeople]

Of Desperate Weddings and Enamoured Poets

Wordcount: 3.7k words Featuring: "The Tender Pathologist", Thomas Prescotson (@staring-at-my-keyboard), Atlas (@staring-at-my-keyboard), Edison Hollingsworth, Charlotte Longhurst Other info: from the Tender Pathologist's POV in first person, the MC is extremely comphet, almost sitcom-esque drama, the MC being from the '60s hates Victorian standards and will never stop making sarcastic comments about it, Thomas is so so done with the MC being comphet, Atlas is also done but less angry about it

What to do when your ex-fling is being married off to a woman he doesn't love? Object, of course.

If my first date with Charlotte was the lowest point in my life, I may as well have committed suicide today. I didn’t think it could possibly get worse than this mostly because I had been visiting the Parlor of Virtue after my heroic escapades a lot more than I should, for someone that I shouldn’t, and I was sure that, because it appalled my two near-celebrity roommates, it would surely make her detest me. Yet, it didn’t. It only seemed to make her want to win me over more, which I had been so desperate to discourage. If I was homosexual, I would have told her as much — I’m still thinking about doing it, just to get her off my case.

I think Atlas and Thomas must have noticed my dejection by the fact that I entered the home in near total silence, walked past the parlour, didn’t even bother with acknowledging Ruby and locked myself in my room for hours. I did this mostly to cry to myself without being disturbed, and they were aware of my habit to do so varying from hours to weeks. The only time I spoke to them that day was over dinner.

We were all gathered around the table, eating, quiet, settled. The clinking of forks and knives against porcelain plates filled the silence. I was feeling a little ill and dizzy and had barely eaten anything on my plate. And I spoke.

‘Miss Longhurst and I are engaged.’ I heard the clattering of cutlery being dropped. ‘And she wants to marry in six months.’

The atmosphere of the silence changed from calm to thick tension, in such a way that I could not particularly place it, save for the absolute horror on Thomas’ face and the general confusion on Atlas’. They gave each other a furtively worried glance, then turned back to me, lips agape, eyebrows furrowed.

Atlas wanted to, at the very least, make a valiant attempt to support what he assumed was my final decision. ‘Um... Congratulations—?’

Thomas placed a hand on their shoulder, using the other hand to hold himself by the face. ‘Why? Why? That is all I want to know. Truthfully, I want to hear how — forgive me for saying so — asinine your reason for this engagement is. And how on Earth you managed to find a ring for her, or how you will manage to find a wedding ring in six months. And how you think you are going to get married appropriately, when you can barely host one guest in the apartment or keep your jacket on for more than five minutes. Not to mention that you are not attracted to w—’

‘I have my ways,’ I cut him off before he could get the rest of his thoughts out, keeping my eyes averted. I was struggling to keep myself from being ill as I spoke. ‘And I’m… er… content with… my choice.’ My words went fatally quiet. ‘I — I do… um, lo… appreciate her, I just… have trouble showing it.’

‘Well.’ Thomas raised an eyebrow. ‘You certainly did not seem to have any problem showing Ediso—’

I slammed my hand down on the table, my resolve hardening. ‘Knock it off. That… was one time. Why exactly is my engagement a discussion point for my attraction?’

‘Because you know perfectly well, as well as I do, doctor, why this engagement is a poor idea!’ It was the first time I had ever heard him raise his voice at me, all of us standing in general unison from the table. But I did not back down. In fact, my resolve only became stronger.

Atlas clung to Thomas’ side with a more worried, subdued countenance. ‘Dearest, please, do not become hostile over dinner—’

‘Mountain-Sherd, no,’ Thomas gently unseated his lover’s hands from his arm, ‘this is something he needs to hear.’ His stare honed in on me again, tight and unforgiving.

I scoffed with derision at his implication. ‘I don’t see why it’s such a problem that Miss Longhurst and I are getting married. This… well, um, this will be good for us. And our relationship.’ I tried to lie. My failing romance was about to turn into a failing marriage. (God, I was such a stereotype of middle-aged depression…) Obviously, what I had said was not as convincing as I would have liked, because even Atlas was starting to become suspicious of me, with a raised eyebrow and a light grimace pulling his features around.

Thomas felt at more liberty to voice his opinions. ‘I find it pertinent to inform you, doctor, if you will forgive my brazen attitude, that you are the only person and will be the last in the whole of the Neath to realise that, for crying out loud, you are a closet homosexual and you are very evidently not interested in Charlotte Longhurst, let alone women as a whole!’

I had to laugh at his claim. ‘Do you even hear what you’re saying? Are you trying to be my parent and forbid me from a relationship just because Charlotte is a woman?’ I gesticulated with my arms, spreading them out in shock and awe. ‘If I was homosexual, I have a feeling that I would know, after thirty-seven years of being alive, thank you very much.’

‘Well, you are a notorious lunatic when it comes down to this matter, seeing as you can keep your emotions and composure about as “straight” as yourself around her.’ He gestured to me loosely, his lips curling with frustrated scorn. ‘When I was half your age, I knew I was attracted to the same sex. And it was fine. I did not face ridicule, or scorn, or whatever misconception you have about how the citizens of London, or the Neath as a whole, will feel. And even if you pretend not to be consciously aware of it, do you think we do not know where you disappear to, for weeks on end, every month, doctor? Do you think we are — what? — confused, when you end up somewhere in Veilgarden, covered in honey with your shirtsleeves undone?’

At first I couldn’t even stutter out a response. I felt undeniably caught. Cornered. Even Atlas was shocked, likely that Thomas had been so open about his speculation on me, but didn’t dare to defend me. Clearly, he was of the same opinion. I very much was not. ‘What I do in my spare time is none of your business.’ My tone grew in confidence. ‘And you don’t know what you’re talking about.’ (At least that had some air of truth.)

Thomas only gave a hum. ‘Well, I must inform you that you are fooling nobody. Not myself, not Atlas, not Edison — maybe Charlotte still believes you, for the sake of her own romanticised delusion. But I would go so far as to say you are not even fooling yourself.’ He stood from the table, eyeing me with concern and irritation mixed into one expression. ‘But. If this is the choice you wish to make, that is… fine, and we will… do our best to support you in that.’ He tacked on the last part begrudgingly.

‘Maybe this will put a rest to your speculation?’ My head cocked to the side as I remarked about him sarcastically.

His tone raised a little. ‘It is not speculation if it is a truth you are not willing to acknowledge.’ Before I could respond, he pushed himself away from the table, not wanting to enthuse the argument he had caused any longer, pinching the bridge of his nose as he stormed off. 

I looked over at Atlas, who had gone a little paler than usual, a little aghast at everything that had just transpired. His eyes slowly flicked from where Thomas had disappeared behind a corner to me, eyebrows raised in general shock. His voice was low and whispered as he spoke to me. ‘Doctor, I… am sorry—’

I gave a sigh. ‘It’s fine, I’m used to—’

Atlas wasn’t finished. ‘But I feel that Thomas, as… forward as that was, has… some merit behind what he says.’

‘Not you, too,’ I mumbled, mostly to myself, staring down at my food and beginning to pick at it as I hunched over, leaning on my hand. ‘Get it out of your system, then. I’ve heard the worst, already.’

Atlas moved from the seat opposite me, taking quiet steps to instead settle himself by my side, pulling on his gloves as he tried to articulate himself. ‘What I mean to say is that… I worry. I worry for… how content you will be with this decision.’ There was a pause, where Atlas took a bracing breath. I did not look up or speak. ‘Doctor, truly, I — I do not mean to cause offence, I… simply…’ His voice trailed off into mumbles, looking away from me. ‘I believe that it may be… worth your while to… er, reconsider your choice.’

I gave a low hum of acknowledgement. ‘So you think I shouldn’t get married to Miss Longhurst, then?’ I mumbled with a mouth half-full of food. I had stopped caring about their opinions the moment Thomas had taken it upon himself to attack me for it.

There was another pregnant pause. ‘I believe you should only marry Miss Longhurst if you want to, not to prove, to whoever you find it pertinent to prove this to, that you are heterosexual, doctor.’

We made a little more idle chat about something else, little errands we had, before Atlas decided to take his leave. I stayed at the table, stomached the rest of my food, and prepared myself for the shortest six months of my life.

Charlotte decided for the ceremony to be in June, and so June came upon me quickly. It is one thing I hate about the passage of time — it seems to come so much faster when you dread the day it leads to. I wept like an infant baby on the day when I woke up, then dried my face, did my best to clear away the redness from my swollen eyes, then plodded down with Thomas and Atlas to St. Fiacre’s Cathedral. 

I was dressed in a claret frock coat made of vicuña (which I was told was obscenely expensive), a white double-breasted waistcoat, a black bowtie and grey slacks, with a black stovepipe hat and matching Oxford shoes. I wore a tightly-bound bunch of myrtle on my lapel, and many men at the ceremony had similar attire to mine. Most of the women, to my shock, were wearing simple white dresses with flat shoes, chatting to each other between the pews idly, awaiting the ceremony. I didn’t recognise any of the faces, but tried to keep my eyes away from the guests. Apparently, it was rude to acknowledge the guests. It was also rude to not dress in this ridiculous garb for a wedding. I supposed it might, too, be rude to blink more times in a day than the strictly allocated fifteen-thousand one is given for a twenty-four hour period.

Out of the two men I knew, I decided Thomas would be less willing to be my best man; naturally, Atlas — who I would have wanted to be my best man, regardless — stood a few paces behind me with an encouraging, mildly disquieted smile. He was still having doubts. Fantastic. Atlas had been the one practically holding my hand through all of the wedding preparation, seeing as I had never planned to marry in the sixties, let alone in 1899. He told me all about the utterly inane, almost comical requirements for Charlotte’s ring, and how it had to be of the finest, purest gold, with the day’s date, engraved alongside the letters “CL” etched in beside it. Atlas had even offered to pay the clergyman for me, but I denied his proffer and instead pawned off the majority of the jewellery I had earned from my monthly outings to pay.

And down came Charlotte, looking like Queen God-damn Victoria in a massive white dress, in the shape of a bell with the train tapering off down the aisle, tiptoeing toward me with her father, a stout and portly man, joined by the arm. There came the pride, pomp and circumstance and glory and whatever the Hell — I seriously could not care less — with an ultimate fanfare, an orchestra, a choir and a showering of flower-petals and a brushing of tears from many eyes. She joined me beside the altar, a long veil coating her face with thin shiny fabric, kept atop the updo her hair had been meticulously crafted into with a diamond tiara. In her hands, she gently clutched a spray of white lilies, smiling at me fondly from beneath the lacy fabric draped over her countenance. I think she was a little disappointed that I was the only one not in floods of tears.

It was when the deacon began reading the vows that I began to feel unbridled fear. I was actually signing the rest of my life away to this woman. There was no turning back. God knows she wouldn’t let me divorce her. This was it. My final moments of freedom slipping away from me. I would never see joy in my life again. I was locking myself in a prison of my own design. Nice job, past self — you have single-handedly, yet again, ruined everything.

‘Do you take Charlotte Mary Longhurst to be your wife? Do you promise to be faithful to her in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love her and to honour her all the days of your life?’ asked the deacon, turning to me. Everyone turned to me. The words caught in my throat. I couldn’t even force them out, no matter how hard I tried. Everyone was expecting “I do” to come out of my mouth but I couldn’t do it. I wouldn’t let myself.

‘I… do,’ I finally managed in the most low, quiet, hesitant tone I think I have ever spoken in. I could see Thomas’ dismay from the pews in the corner of my eye. I wanted to look at Atlas, for advice or hope or literally anything other than seeing Charlotte’s face, but kept my head forward.

Charlotte then said her vows. The deacon bowed his head briefly, and announced the line that would be my saving grace. ‘Should anyone present know of any reason that this couple should not be joined in holy matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace.’

I had to pull my eyes away from Charlotte, looking desperately into the guests’ eyes. Please. One person. One person had to have an objection. “Don’t hold your peace!” I wanted to cry out. “Someone must have a reason!” I looked toward Thomas. God — of all the people to stay silent, him? The one man badgering me every month about my sexuality, staying silent after his outrage months ago? Perhaps he had been convinced after me coming this far. Great. At the one time I needed his doubt, it had mysteriously vanished. This was it.

And then it happened. It must have been a miracle when I heard the voice echo through the cathedral, after the doors were flung open with a bang. ‘I object! I object to the marriage!’

Hurrying down the aisle was a familiar gentleman eliciting many horrified gasps and averted stares from the pews. A man with rust-red hair, a blue waistcoat embroidered with cream flowers, and a mole-peppered face. I couldn’t help the relieved smile weaving its way along my open lips, but hurriedly bit it back once a few more people set their stares on me. 

What happened next was not something I expected. Well, in all fairness, I never expected to be in the Neath, or in a relationship, or being married off despite digging my heels in adamantly. But this was a spectacle that I couldn’t have been more overjoyed to be a part of, honestly. It was incredible. Like reality television happening right before my eyes, only unscripted and real.

Charlotte let out a scream of distress and threw her veil back, marching down the stairs of the altar and forgetting a genuflection to the crucifix entirely in favour of slapping Edison in the face with a surprising amount of power. There was a stunned gasp from the crowds, who were now watching the ordeal. More people were pouring in from outside solely to watch the scuffle. ‘You bastard harlot! Of course you have to ruin my special, perfect day, you disgusting roach! Get out! Leave at once!’

Edison caught her arm when she raised it to smack him again, his cheeks reddening from the first slap. He pushed her away expertly, waving a stack of papers clutched tightly in his hand. ‘This woman is unfaithful! She does not love that man at all — in fact, I have statements taken directly from the Parlor of Virtue showing every single man she has spent nights with over the course of their year-long relationship! There is no logical way she could possibly uphold the vows of marriage in something so loveless,’ Edison’s eyes, green as leaves, flicked to me, lidded and alluring, ‘especially when the groom himself is in love with somebody else, too.’ Throwing the papers to Charlotte’s feet, he took a step back, soaking in the abashed terror on her crestfallen expression.

The deacon, peering over my shoulder, looked at Charlotte with raised eyebrows. There was horror among the silence. It was like something out of a thriller film. I was half-expecting something to jumpscare us all during the quietude. ‘Is… this true, Miss Longhurst…?’

With tears in her eyes and fists clenched to her sides, she struck a finger out to point at Edison. ‘Do you — are — are you serious?! “Is this true,” he asks? You all are believing a damned prostitute?! A prostitute that traipses around with — with bohemians and village-bicycles at the Singing Mandrake?! Have you all lost your minds?!’ She stamped to Edison again, her hand twitching with the urge to slap. ‘Of course, he merely wants to prove, at every step, that he is above me, and above moral consequence! The only thing this — this… this rat is successful in proving repeatedly is his undignified lack of self-respect!’

Edison shook his head confidently, placing a hand on his hip and tilting his weight onto one leg. ‘I think it is you trying to prove something to me, dear. After that struggling artist abandoned you for me, you have found it pertinent to marry yourself off at the earliest convenience. I feel that something else to do with it is your financial situation; you are a financial leech on your brother’s side, which is common knowledge, but what is less commonly known is that all of his charitable proceeds go directly into my compatriots’ pockets…’ He pinched at his pockets with a grin, then pointed to the papers at Charlotte’s feet with a smile. ‘The statements for which you will find there.’

‘Mr. Hollingsworth,’ the deacon interrupted, opening his hand, ‘please hand me those documents.’

‘Gladly.’ Lifting the papers from the floor, Edison walked to the altar and handed the sheets to the deacon, who flicked through them with disgruntled hums and shakes of his head. Edison took a few steps toward me, taking my jaw in his hand and pressing a soft kiss to my other cheek, whispering softly. I cared so little for anything else besides his touch. ‘You’re welcome,’ he rasped in my ear, ‘but you owe me a ring and a pretty ceremony for this favour, darling.’

I swallowed once he pulled away, the colour finally rising in my face, looking over at the absolutely mortified Charlotte. Whispers had already started in the church. People were filing out to spread the news of her scandal already. Her reputation was undoubtedly ruined; irrecoverably so. It would take a Hell of a lot to not be exiled, let alone to remain as renowned as she was now. I nearly pitied her, and I wanted to walk to her and comfort her.

She turned on me immediately, slapping my hand away and taking a few ragged breaths, glaring at me through wet, bloodshot eyes, shivering. ‘Well?! Was it worth it, then?! To fall in love with someone else behind my back, and go through the whole rigmarole anyway, doctor?! I thought better of you, you know!’

I let out a stunned gasp. What the Hell? How was I suddenly the villain? ‘You — you were the one visiting the Parlor of Virtue!’ I cried out, almost laughing at her ridiculous attempt to shift the blame.

Her eyes tightened. ‘You were never enough for me, anyway!’ She removed her long gloves to slap me hard, then ran out of the cathedral in floods of tears, a few family members and close guests following behind. 

I turned back to the altar as the deacon lifted his head, returning Edison’s papers to him. ‘Well, we… are in no order to continue the wedding in this manner. Uh… go in peace, to glorify the Lord with your life.’ There was a low chorus of “thanks be to God” as everyone, save for Edison, Thomas and Atlas, filed out. 

Edison took me by the waist at the earliest opportunity, pulling me close and planting another kiss on my cheek that I couldn’t bear to lean away from. ‘Marrying yourself off… locking yourself away, and not telling me? How dare you,’ he teased, a finger tracing my jaw. ‘Do not fret — I am sure you will look far less horrified when I walk up the aisle instead. Would you shed a tear for me, darling? I am sure you would. I know how much you love to see me.’

Thomas, who had finally made his way to where we were standing, wiped the residual sweat from his forehead and made an attempt to separate Edison from myself. ‘Enough,’ he called out firmly, turning to Edison as Atlas flanked me. ‘You have caused enough uproar for all of us as it is.’ There was a pause. ‘But perhaps this is for the best,’ he added in a low tone. I certainly thought so. I couldn’t be more overjoyed that I was no longer getting married.

AUTHOR'S COMMENTS:

oh my god this was so fun to write. as soon as i got the idea for it i couldn't stop myself (and subsequently finished this fic at 1am). i had to do an obscene amount of research into victorian weddings and im pretty sure i still got some things wrong so you will have to excuse my inaccuracies on that front LOL

i've already tagged him but i want to tag @staring-at-my-keyboard again and credit him for his wonderful flocs thomas and atlas ^_^ they are an absolute joy to write!! and also so sick of the mc being comphet but it's ok one day he will realise. and they will hate that his realisation is that he loves edison but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it

also to clarify ruby is the mc's pet kitten :3c and she is the sweetest girl.. mayhaps i will put her doodles here soon

[tofu-gaycat]

Finally got my real lesbian pin and trying to get out of unstable life episodes.

To be honest with all of you, the reason I created this blog was to remind myself and my best friend Mari who also reads this blog that it’s fine to feel left out due to comphet since it has started to affect us more severely last months mostly due our “friends’s” TERF opinions and her view on lesbians and m-spec people as a whole. It’s not like I’m questioning at all (I don’t because I at least see how is attraction and emotional bond is for me). I think time has come to share what this “friend” tells me:

1. She believes that all men, regardless of their deeds, thoughts and life situation should be dead. And if I think otherwise it makes me less lesbian somehow? I just don’t like men in sexual and romantic way but in platonic I can be good and even close friends with them.

2. All trans women are predatory men who just want to invade lesbian spaces and do horrific things to them.

3. That if I like trans women = I’m bisexual only since all lesbians “must” like only AFAB people.

4. Only radical feminists are normal people and if I want to meet a girl she “must” be only of these views because others, according to her, are bad people.

5. She believes that I also share these views while I just say that I don’t find men attractive at ALL due to simply being lesbian and having HUGE standards when it even comes to aesthetic attraction to them.

6. All women are holy, great and just beautiful people even if they fuck up in life, it’s all society’s fault since it affects them and it only makes them do what they do. Listen, many people can be bad people as any person of any gender. Double fucking standards.

Do you see how many “all” are in her thoughts - I get that she is radical but radical feminism shouldn’t be upfront hating all men just because of their gender. I’m a feminist myself and I despise people who do bad things, who make women seem unworthy and just overall not like people at all. She, in fact, isn’t a radfem to me, she is just a men hater who hides behind feminism. She just sees a person she doesn’t know and automatically assumes stuff like that of them.

I’m open to discussion if you don’t agree with me.

In the end, fuck you, TERFs.

[redheadbigshoes]

I'm starting to really hate when people say that a character can't be a lesbian because "she showed interest in boys so therefore she must be straight or at least bi" and then get mad when you brush that "attraction" off as comphet(whether this was canon or no) and I think it's not only due to misogyny and people refusing to shake the idea that someone could not be into boys(and thinking that the only queer erasure that exists is bi erasure and a character not being bi is biphobic somehow), but I think it's also that people don't understand what comphet IS. It's not so much "pretending to have an interest in boys" as it is "thinking you really DO have an interest in boys, because that's what the patriarchy has spoonfed you since birth". It's like they don't think that lesbians can genuinely believe they're straight/bi or be pressured into actually believing that they like boys when this is the case for many. It's why people don't believe Velma Dinkley is a lesbian(even though that is not a headcanon but CANON) because she dated Shaggy in the past and seemed to genuinely be into him, but that's what comphet is, thinking you must be into boys because society pushes heteronormativity at every turn(which they seem to not want to acknowledge or at least think lesbians should be above that because they hold us to an impossible standard, which is balderdash). "I don't think it was comphet, she seemed genuinely interested in him," yeah no shit that's exactly the entire point of comphet, you dumbass.

I totally agree with you. It’s a headcanon, people shouldn’t be so pressed about it, unless we’re invalidating a character’s canon queer sexuality (most characters don’t have confirmed sexualities, people just assume they’re straight and that’s it). A headcanon doesn’t impact on the character’s canon development at all, it’s worrying how these lesbophobes are so ready and so aggressive to invalidate your headcanon when it comes to lesbians. Sometimes they even lie that the character is bi or something else just to make you and other people think you’re an evil person contributing to another queer identity’s erasure (trust me I’ve seen this happening a lot).

Non-lesbians are not interested to know what comphet is because they’re not interested to know more about lesbian issues.

And exactly, they don’t even accept CANON lesbian characters. They love invalidating them and contributing to lesbian erasure because they genuinely think other queer identities erasure doesn’t exist.

I’m not even kidding, every single confirmed lesbian character has been invalidated by non-lesbians. Even the ones who actually say they’re lesbian. Damn I’ve seen people say HAYLEY KIYOKO (a real person and one of the few proud lesbians out there) is not a lesbian and that she’s bi.

People are so angry with bi erasure that they think contributing to lesbian erasure is okay.

[kellinrk800]

toko fukawa comphet no i don’t take criticism

nobody will even see this because my account just. doesnt get traction but here have a ramble abt toko’s backstory and how much i firmly believe her attraction was comphet.

spoilers for thh, sdr2 and udg

tw// ab/se, n/glect, severe bullying

toko was severely neglected and unwanted when she was a child. she grew up with two mothers and one father due to both sleeping with the same man and neither wanting their child which caused her to be mistreated. once she was locked in a closet and forced to stay there for three days without food. clearly, she grew up in a household completely devoid of healthy love. genocide jack’s development was likely a response to cope with the traumatic experiences.

her time in elementary was no different. in third grade, she was used as a scapegoat for stolen money and her classmates tied her to the jungle gym with a garden hose as punishment.

her first real “love” was with a boy who she had been friends with since elementary but when she finally confessed through a letter, she found it pinned to the bulletin board to mock her. this was genocide jack’s first kill, leading me to believe that her murders were actually a form of protection.

on one occasion (and most likely more considering her difficult relationship with understanding rejection) she was ghosted halfway through on a date after spending three days and nights planning it so that she would not mess it up. she later found out that the boy only asked her out because he lost a bet.

the most likely only healthy representation of love she ever has was through media, which is arguably extremely heteronormativity and the actual healthiness of how relationships are presented in media is debatable.

she internalised all of these things happening to her and believed she deserved them somehow, building her inferiority complex. she began to assume that people only expected bad of her and self victimises herself almost on instinct despite her nature to express opinions without care for others most of the time. her self esteem is extremely low and she often worries about being considered an “old hag” in ultra despair girls.

toko fell in love with the idea of love, not an actual person. at some point she turned to novels and writing as a way to express her emotions and she used that passion to create works of art through her novels and created a toxic idolisation of the perfect relationship with nothing but media, her family’s relationships and her past experiences to go off.

she began to let herself get hurt and internalise it which ended up building her inferiority complex even further to the point of becoming unhealthily infatuated with anyone she saw fit as a stand in for the dreamy perfect people that made her books succeed.

time and time again genocide jack and toko were mistreated in their relationships, causing their system to suffer greatly. jack began to kill anyone toko saw fit as a perfect romantic interest to protect them both, but this most likely caused her own mental health to decline as well, leading to the aggressive, startling and manic personality we saw in the games.

toko began to both idolise and fear falling in love. while she knew they would most likely be killed and she would have to cope with knowing that the police could come knocking any day if they put the pieces together, she also still purposed her life around being in a perfect relationship because it was now causing her to gain traction through her novels.

this only furthered her unhealthy infatuation with relationships. she became determined to find a man who fit her description of the perfect man and would not mislead, use, mock or hurt toko in hopes that he would not be killed and she would finally achieve her dream.

enter byakuya togami. blonde, blue eyed, rich, cold and most importantly, entirely unattainable. he was an ideal stand in, especially considering the circumstances of the killing game (jack’s unique killing style would immediately be found out). she was able to fantasise from afar without ever really getting as severely hurt as she had in the past because he simply did not care to provide her his attention.

jack had two options. kill byakuya and get executed, or suck it up. clearly you can tell which option she chose. in addition, she had all of her memories from prior to the game which most likely slightly numbed her thirst for blood. by the end of ultra despair girls, she has grown a respect for toko, a softness for komaru and even calmed jack down to the point where it’s suggested that she no longer uses her skills to murder but instead fight despair.

in fact, near the end, toko is acutely aware of what is happening despite the fact jack was fronting (they don’t usually share memories, only emotions), suggesting they may have slightly integrated but i don’t really want to make assumptions considering i do not have did and am not educated enough to speak confidently about did.

ironically, the killing game was actually good for both of their mental health’s. i’ll only be talking about toko but in ultra despair girls she was emotionally stronger and more mature. she believed she finally had a purpose other than romance and that she could fight against all odds. she even credits makoto for her newfound courage. she criticises cowards and those that remind her of her past self. she is willing to challenge her fears.

komaru had an amazingly powerful and positive effect on them both. her softness, optimism and empathy help toko’s character develop even further. when komaru tries to give in to despair, toko encourages her to face her fears. toko, who was before extremely afraid and uncomfortable with being touched, is now willing to comfort and even hug komaru. she claims she’s finally found a true friend (that’s actually human, can’t forget kameko the stinkbug) and that she found hope in her.

komaru admires toko and doesnt really mind her split personality, instead just considering it “a bit strange”, which is a noticeable difference from how she was treated by everyone else for it. toko is protective of komaru during chapter two due to her suspicion of shirokuma. later, they even sleep in the same bed.

however, when toko risks komaru’s life for byakuya, they get into an argument in which toko accuses komaru of manipulating her with terms such as “friends”, which leads to komaru showing that she really does trust her.

later, this arguably resolved after servant forces jack and toko to fight against komaru for byakuya. they fight back against servant and komaru forgives her because they are friends, which makes toko extremely happy, so much that she blushed and admits she has never had a real friend before. she thanks komaru genuinely for the first time and they try to become real friends.

toko swears she will help komaru with anything she can’t do by herself, just like komaru would do for her.

toko even stays by her side to the point of rejecting the opportunity of going to future foundation to stay with komaru :)

in the end of danganronpa goodbye despair, which is set after ultra despair girls, kyoko reminds byakuya that someone is waiting for him and he jokes that she shouldn’t remind him of “something so horrifying”. and honestly i think the fact he was able to joke about it shows that perhaps toko and byakuya found a somewhat healthy relationship as friends, acquaintances, or even just bearing eachother’s presence.

a notable addition that didn’t really fit anywhere else is toko’s scrapped execution. “first kiss prank” is the title and it consists of byakuya running towards her before toko gets hit by a roller. that says enough about her biggest fears and how badly her past memories affected her.

in conclusion, toko fukawa’s obsession with byakuya was comphet due to pressure from the media and her toxic ideals. the fact she was able to form a healthy relationship with komaru is hhh and i could talk about them for hours. tokomaru is the second closest thing we have to inmedia stated canon (fuck kodaka’s statement me and the homies hate kodaka’s statement about naegiri /j)

sources: toko fukawa’s fandom wiki, genocide jack’s fandom wiki, free time events, transcripts

[hearts4fink]

my unpopular stranger things opinions /pos

eleven is a lesbian and likes max, her relationship with mike is just comphet since she wouldn’t even know what liking someone was when they first dated.

MIKE IS GAY HES A GAY MAN. look at my other post for proof 🤭🫶🏻

max likes El and knows but suppresses it because of lucas, she still likes him tho.

i don’t have an opinion on stancy or jancy i would prefer nancy single.

steddie is so cute and i love it.

romance has my whole heart and i ship it but i love vicky and robin too.

elumax is just an excuse to ship elmax but also lumax like bro just pick one it’s not that deep.

byclair is rlly weird like lucas is straight and the only reason to ship it is that lucas would be better for will but will doesn’t want lucas he wants mike you see.

robin and 001 are obviously autistic i don’t think any of the other characters are (if you want to bring some up feel free to my opinions can change.)

eddie was way overhyped in s4 like he didn’t have a better character than the others stop saying that but i do love him i literally have a poster of him 🫶🏻

steve x billy (i couldn’t find the ship name) is weird billy is abusive (my next point) and billy is the straightest man i ever have seen.

billy is racist, probably homophobic and many other phobics so i don’t understand how people find that attractive at all, he wouldn’t have a cute relationship with you he would physically and verbally abuse you and wouldn’t help you if you were bullied stfu. he also came onto a woman who he was aware has a family and husband while he was underage and fully expected something to happen (that was karen’s doing a lot of the time) but he still shouldn’t have done that.

stommy is actually adorable but i don’t think steve liked him back since he was so heavily in love with nancy not that he realised at least but he definitely thought he was attractive loads but just assumed it was because they were friends.

pls comment some of your opinions i’m very open minded.

[bi-sapphics]

y’know what i just realized and think is weird but worth mentioning?? y’all are so caught up in the fact that bi women and sapphics are completely oriented around and end up with men in the lifelong rundown that you forget women-oriented and women-preferring bi sapphics do exist and are many in numbers, they just formulate in different ways because of all this bimisogyny and stereotyping surrounding statistics and behavior.

like, think about it. all of these “mspec lesbians” are bisexual, because they are mspec, and they call themselves lesbians because sapphicism and dating women is their priority. think about all of these bisexuals who are rightfully against mspec lesbians but call themselves lesbians (in the real, unattracted to men sense) anyway because as far as they know, if they don’t involve themselves with men or deem their OGA unimportant then they might as well be. it follows the logic, if you can stop being attracted to men overtime and/or if it gets so weak that you can just dismiss it as comphet then you can be a lesbian, so why not just take advantage of that grey area and pretend that’s the case even if you’re really bisexual? it’s an effective solution to have the right assumptions made about you and your dating choices with the way things are between our communities right now. if you don’t have to be associated with those disgusting bihets because you don’t even relate to them, then why should you?

i’m not saying i support that kind of lying, because i don’t, even though i don’t even believe it comes from a malicious place. but maybe think about what causes this epidemic of “fake lesbians” thinking they belong better in the lesbian community than their own out of sheer ignorance combined with a desperate need to find like-minded people. it makes logical sense, even if it’s wrong in the long run. if anything, it might not even be lying, a lot of the time these sapphics just genuinely believe their situation is called comphet when it isn’t in their individual case because it’s understood that that is a real, valid, and accepted experience. that’s what i did for a whole year, until i realized my personal attraction just wasn’t comphet.

it’s important to hold lesbophobes accountable when they’re actually hurting lesbians, but i also think there are some underlying issues causing this lesbophobia that need to be addressed for the better sake of everyone involved. it would help both of us much more to assume the best of each other and simply educate than to harass and dogpile based off of assumptions. i understand the anger because it’s rightful justice but you shouldn’t be taking it out on individuals who aren’t really at fault because that will just hurt and confuse them more rather than actually solve anything. that’s all.

[gettin-bi-bi-bi]

hi. i'm bisexual but i thought i was a lesbian for literal years because i would always see like, posts saying that if ur attraction to men feels weird or uncomfortable it's just comphet. when in reality it could be internalized biphobia or past trauma! but anyways yeah here's the thing. i've wholly accepted my attraction to both men and women now but i still feel quite uncomfortable around men who i like?? i just feel so weird and apprehensive and scared. vs with women i feel giddy. i don't know how to get over this or why it's happening, because i want the chance to be intimate with both. but there's like.. some kind of block that prevents me from fully leaning into my attraction to men? i don't think i have any past trauma related to them? unless maybe dad stuff? but just fmhdknfda it's frustrating. i know y'all aren't therapists but maybe someone has a word of advice?

I guess that can be tough when you’ve been convinced for years that you’re a lesbian. It also (I assume) means that you haven’t had any or not a lot of intimate experience with men so some of the anxiety might come from that. Like... while “““everyone else”““ has made those experiences already, you haven’t. Of course that’s not really true bc everyone moves at their own pace anyway and it also shouldn’t matter but it might be what your brain is stuck in. If that’s the case then I’d say that any decent guy would not mind a lack of experience at all and would be happy to accomodate you and make this work as you explore something that might be new to you.

Also, I’m not sure how out you are/were as a lesbian? If you were out as that then another aspect might now be that you feel guilty for “““betraying the lesbian community”““ and dread re-coming out. Again, also bullshit because people can change their labels at any time, but sometimes our brains are weird and we put much higher expectations onto ourselves than we would put on others.

I guess the best advice here is to just try not to freak out. Do what feels right and take your time. But it’s always fine to take a step back and take a time out when it’s getting too much. And if you realise there are some general trust issues with men then perhaps it does make sense to talk about that in a couple of therapy sessions, even if there wasn’t any severe trauma in your past.

Also also.... have you considered specifically trying to date queer men? That’s a very valid choice and might make it easier for you to trust them because the whole aspect of them having to accept your queerness isn’t gonna be a problem? Though I would also suggest trying to internalise that cishet men can also be wonderful partners to queer women.

Do you have any male friends? Maybe it could also be a good first step just to hang out with guys more without any intention of dating them just so you can get used to being around men and interacting with them?

I really don’t have any concrete solution here, so this was more of a brainstorming but I hope it helps.

Maddie

[kidrat]

hope this ask is ok, you seem to know about ace spectrum stuff and I value your opinion. I'm having a really difficult time understanding if the rare times I experience attraction are comp het, but more importantly, if I experience attraction about average maybe, 1 person a year or less? and it's really hard for me to maintain my attraction to that person too. is that a common ace experience? would a person like that call themselves ace or would it be more appropriate to specify grey ace?

Hey so, keeping in mind I'm aro, and I'm assuming you're talking about sexual attraction here: First off obviously no one can tell you what your orientation is but you. Secondly you can call yourself whatever you like. If ace feels comfortable, then it's fine to say you're ace even if grey-ace would fit too.

It's also pretty hard to say what constitutes average attraction. The times I experience serious attraction are even rarer than what you're describing, and I don't consider that to make me greyspec, I just feel that means I don't properly meet that many guys I like! I'm not bringing this up to discourage you from using any label, I just want to get across that this stuff is subjective and also super personal, and that you shouldn't try and compare yourself to others when deciding what your experiences with attraction mean.

In terms of not maintaining attraction, I will say that that could be a sign of comphet, since it could just mean the attraction wasn't genuine. It could also just be that you haven't had many serious longterm crushes, or that you just naturally lost interest in these people for different reasons, or that you're nervous about acting on attraction. I would also like to point out as neutrally as possible that the way you've phrased this ask almost makes it sound like maintaining the attraction is something you consciously try (and fail) to do, which might be something to reflect on.

I know this has been pretty vague, but you really are the only one who can label yourself, and a lot of which label you land on has to do with what feels comfortable or helpful. I just wanted to answer because I know from experience how lonely questioning can be, and also on the off chance anything I've said could help. Good luck

[dearheart42regenerated]

hoo boy, okay, this is a baaaaad idea and it’s LONG but I’m doing it anyway because I’m genuinely struggling with this, I don’t have an IRL community to turn to, and I want to hear what other lesbians/wlw think about this beyond my own tiny circle. (for the record I’m not a discourse blog, so pleeeease be gentle and don’t drag me into any super messy debates? the most I want to do is get opinions from different people and learn enough to come to my own private conclusions and move on)

I’m a bby lesbian (and a long-time ace) and the “bi-lesbian” thing upsets me too. but I’ve seen an argument brought up that made me stop and think, and I’m kinda stumped about it. the argument is that we're ALREADY using lesbian as an umbrella term, but only get upset about it when bi women do the same. 

for example...when we see a wlw couple walking down the street or getting married, or two women kissing in a TV show or pictures shown on twitter (much like the cute “sword lesbians” story that’s been circulating), MOST of the time, everyone (including us!) tends to automatically call them “lesbians” or a "lesbian couple” or a “lesbian wedding”, etc...without thinking about what their actual orientations are.

I saw another person bring up an experience where her lesbian gf would joke about them "doing lesbianism babey!" but when she tried to do the same as a bi woman, her gf would get mad at her and say she couldn't do that. the main point of all of this is that there's hypocrisy in play - when lesbians put the "lesbian" label on other women, whether irl or fiction, most people don’t kick up a fuss. but when bi women use the label themselves, suddenly it's bad and lesbophobic/biphobic.

this troubles me because I DO see it happen all the time, both online and in the few irl experiences I’ve had. and I think it's a valid point to make (especially because "sapphic" is barely used irl at all). it feels unfair to use "lesbian" with the same-ish looseness we use "gay", and then draw the line at bi women using it too. (there’s also a very real problem of bi ppl with same-gender partners turning to “Gay And Lesbian” spaces cos they have nowhere else to turn, and getting kicked out for not being a “real gay”. there are tangible real-life layers to this discourse that I don’t want to brush off.)

but at the same time, "lesbian" is the only modern word we have (particularly our only mainstream word) to describe our full, unique experience as women who are exclusively attracted to other women/women-aligned people. bi women already have “bisexual” as their recognizable mainstream term, and they also have “queer”, “wlw”, “sapphic”, etc as further options to fine-tune their identity...so it feels just as unfair to use "lesbian” too, and that’s the main reason why the term “bi-lesbian” personally upsets me right now. 

it’s also upsetting because “bi-lesbian” implies that some lesbians could still be open to men, and we already face so much lesbophobic pressure to create space for men in our identity/attraction because “you never know, you might feel attracted to a man someday! sexuality is always fluid y’know! maybe you’re not really a lesbian!” we get that pressure both from the outside world AND often from the rest of the LGBTQ+ community too. it’s really harmful and painful to deal with, especially for those of us who’ve had to deal with comphet and still do (aka meeeee)

putting the rest under a readmore cos this is getting long lol

I wish "bi lesbians” and their supporters would take that stuff into consideration...and I wish I saw more people caring in general about the lesbians who are hurting from this. 

we’re tired of having the worst assumed of us, of being treated as the “bad guys” by other communities every time we speak up about things that hurt us. statistically, we’re one of the smallest groups in the alphabet soup. we barely even have our own flag, and the creator of our most popular one right now is still facing hate, harassment and being unjustly accused of being a TERF/exclusionist/bigot. 

it feels like morale and pride are so low among us right now. we just want people to care about us, to be mindful of how we feel and what we go through as lesbians, to give us the same support and benefit-of-a-doubt that you so easily give to our other LGBTQ+ siblings. 

aaand now I’m just emotionally venting lol but TL;DR - I want to be fair to both sides of this topic, cos that’s the type of person I am. I want to stick up for my own community, but I also want to be inclusive to questioning/struggling people and a good ally to my bi sisters. so help me figure all this out. how do y’all feel about what I’ve brought up here?

lesbians and bi women: how do you feel about the point that we’re already using “lesbian” as a roughly gay-equivalent umbrella term for the women we see in relationships with other women? why shouldn’t bi women use it that way too? if they shouldn’t, why aren’t we pushing harder for alternatives like “sapphic” to use in those cases and telling each other to stop when one of us uses “lesbian” or “lesbianism” incorrectly for unspecified wlw couples?

pro-bi-lesbian people: asking in genuine confusion here, how is using the term “bi lesbian” any better than using “bihet” or “bi straight”? how is it not feeding into the misconception that bisexuals are just “half-gay half-straight”? and why is it worth holding onto that label when a) “bisexual” is a mainstream term that, by definition, already has room to encompass your experience, b) other more specific words that mean the same/similar thing already exist for you (i.e. “sapphic”), and c) your term of choice hurts lesbians by undermining our definition of ourselves and adding to the cultural pressure we face to make room for hypothetical future men in our sexuality?

also I want to make it very clear that I’m NOT blaming “bi lesbians” for men feeling entitled to seduce/harass us, or insinuating that you contribute to rape culture or anything like that. predatory men will be predatory no matter what words we use, I fully acknowledge that. rather my concern is that anyone can put pressure on us (and all too often do) to make room for men in our orientation, including within the LGBTQ+ community, and “bi lesbian” as a term contributes to that type of lesbophobia.

please be nice, or at least civil, and talk to me. I want to listen and see if your opinions will help me find some clarity in my own. you’re free to message me or reblog this with your takes on these issues, but if you reblog, please focus on talking with me and don’t fight each other. I will delete this if things get ugly or out of hand.

[meliorn]

I saw your tweet and I think the reason people are so offended and accuse those girls of being biphobic because it's downright hurtful how certain lesbians use bisexual as a stepping stone. They know they're not bi and are only into women but identify as bi because to them its one more step closer to lesbian rather than seeing bisexual as an identity of its own with its own struggles, they it see it as half gay and half straight and easier than just coming out as lesbian straight away.

Either they should come out as lesbian or not come out at all but they shouldn’t use our identity to be half in and half out. Bisexual isn’t a stepping stone for women who aren’t ready to come out to people as lesbian yet and think people will accept them being bisexual more and once they adjust they’ll come out as lesbian. Being bisexual is an identity. It shouldn’t be used as part of a journey to coming out as lesbian when they know the label doesn’t apply to them.

Some people can identify as bi but then realise they’re not but people who know they aren’t and use that label for convenience are not nice. It’d be like a straight person using that label in front of lgb people just because. It isn’t right and is insulting.

(the tweet anon is talking about)

listen….

i understand where you are coming from. bisexuality is invalidated all the time, from all fronts. it’s painful to not be seen, to have people act like you’re less-than. i get it.

but that is no excuse to lash out at lesbians who, let me remind you, are our allies. we have our differences and those need to respected, but we have a lot in common as well. and don’t forget that while bisexual people face certain struggles (higher risk of domestic violence, for example), lesbians also have unique struggles.

i have no idea why you assume that amandla and hayley have “pretended” to be bisexual or used it as a stepping stone, rather than assume that they used to ID as bi but don’t anymore**. i have seen no indication of that. even if they had used it as a “stepping stone”, has it ever crossed your mind WHY they would do that? is it possible that it was not to belittle bisexual people and water down our identity, but because they felt unsafe calling themselves a lesbian, because they were overwhelmed by society’s pressure to “find the right man” and that maybe there was a possibility they were actually Not a lesbian? more often than not, i think, people who go from bi to lesbian don’t do it out of malice, and i don’t think it’s as hurtful as you seem to think either, especially because it’s probably just as common for it to go the other way around.

“either they should come out as lesbian or not come out at all”. listen. sexuality is complicated! i would argue it’s most complicated for lesbians because they have to dismantle and defeat the beast that is compulsory heterosexuality before they can even come to terms with who they are. being bi/mga is by no means easy and most of us struggle with comphet as well, but there’s a unique struggle for lesbians that bi people can’t fully appreciate (which is why we need to be so adamant in our support of them!). it’s VERY common for lesbians to think they are bi only to then realize they’re not because they’ve been told their entire lives that there must be room in their lives for a man. they’ve been forced away from lesbianism because society, their family, friends etc has told them they HAVE to be attracted to men or they aren’t even human. for them to then realize this isn’t the case, that they can be a lesbian and that it’s not only fine but beautiful and GOOD and something to be celebrated, is something we as bi women should celebrate with them!

a lesbian who used to identify as bisexual coming out as lesbian and describing it as freeing IS NOT BIPHOBIC. it simply isn’t. just as a bisexual girl coming out as bisexual, having identified as a lesbian before, ISN’T LESBOPHOBIC. these things change! people go between these labels all the time because sexuality is messy, it’s hard to tell between what we want and what we’ve been told that we want, etc. there is no point in attacking people for finally realizing who they are and there is definitely no point in telling lesbians (who already face incredible amounts of bullshit from everyone) that they’re being biphobic when all they’ve done is say “hey, i’ve realized this is who i am and the word i used previously doesn’t apply anymore!”.

please, try to be more compassionate with our lesbian sisters. lesbians already have it so hard, we bi girls do too!, and we need each other. let’s save the energy for combatting actual issues within our community, like “lesbian” being deemed an ugly word or that it’s “limiting yourself” to only be attracted to one gender, or the stereotypes about bi girls being more likely to cheat and being unreliable.

we have issues and those need to be adressed, i’m not saying we should shut up and just accept the shit we get and give each other, but we need to realize not all lesbians are out to get us and we stand stronger together than apart. we’re comrades and we need to support each other because you can be damn sure everyone else is itching to tear us apart. don’t make their job easier for them.

** altho, hayley never identified as bi, right? people just assumed she did, which makes me even more confused as to why she’s accused of being biphobic