#and you sent this to me like a year ago im so sorry please forgive me đŸ« 
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madamdionysia · 1 year ago
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firm believer that yunho and or mingi get a kick out of seeing you stretched out — it plays with their size kink so much đŸ« 
my brain has short circuited everytime i rolled this ask around in my head, but heres what i got
cw: gn!reader, no pronouns, penetrative sex, unedited & mobile posted, tummy bulge, size kink, teasing, edging, fingering, implied poly!teez at the end for fun, double penetration, praise, maybe a hint of soft!dom,
edit 10/31/23: fixed like two mistakes, changed one word to make it gender neutral
fuck it so mingi is like fascinated when he first sees you stretched out on his cock, like he can’t believe that someone is capable of such. He’s both amazed and fucking proud when you take his cock, watching the bulge move with his hips. You have to snap him out of whatever trance he put himself in if you wanted any sort of progression
yunho on the other hand is more forward? Expressive? Very much the type to tease and edge as he tries to prepare you. I feel like his ego about it would come out a bit more during sex, sure he has to take longer to prep but this also means longer to scissor his fingers in you, longer to feel your ass, and longer to whisper things like “aw, is my dick really that big?” in effort to get you to admit that you needed help or wanted him to let you reach your peak. Seeing your skin flex and move even with his fingers has him rock hard, and he is so eager to see what you’re capable of.
As for them both, it’s a bit overwhelming being overstimulated on both cocks simultaneously. Yunho is slow, angling his hips to let his dick gently stroke your warm walls. Mingi is focused on the end, and Yunho is focused on the journey. Seeing both of them stretch you to the brim has Yunho’s knees turn to gelatin as he thinks “oh fuck thats hot”. And Mingi knows when he’s sheathed inside of you that he was never that tight for Yunho, and with the two of them buried inside of you as you moan for movement? Mingi’s brain becomes mush and he just wants to fuck the shit out of you. It’s Yunho that paces the situation, Mingi finishing all over his own stomach with a high pitched whine and you came all over Yunho’s cock.
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one-annon · 4 months ago
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im so sorry about my absence!! i've been a little busy so i haven't been able to get to requests but i promise i'll start working on them again around this weekend!! instead here's a book i wrote a while ago about the twins to keep you guys fed! i also wrote it on a computer with auto caps so if its a little different from my writing style please forgive me..i also got a bit lazy toward the end i apologize! warning for tcm spoilers kinda choptop coming home
Bobby sighed heavily, finally getting off the plane. He was glad he was able to finally be done with the war. Of course, he only served about three years but missed his family - what can he say? Not only that, but he missed his records. According to the letters his twin sent, he kept them safe in the room they used to share. He was the only one to write.
Drayton, his oldest brother, was supposed to pick him up from the airport. It was a fairly long drive, but he didn’t mind. Apparently, while he was gone, they set themselves up well. Made a name for the family. Drayton won the best chili competition twice! Twice!
The short man scrambled around baggage claim, quickly grabbing his stuff before waiting outside for his brother. He got odd looks, of course. Nothing new. He had gained a metal plate in his head during his time serving - the result of a piece of his head being cut (getting a chunk of your head cut with a machete really freakin’ hurts!)
About 20 minutes passed before a blue Chevrolet c-10 Silverado pulled in front of him, his brother in the driver’s seat.
Bobby tilted his head, pulling the passenger door open and slipping into the seat. “This is new,” he stated, slamming the door shut and setting his bags in the back seat.
Drayton grinned at him “like it?”
He laughs softly, nodding. He looked around the truck. “Where’s bubba? And nubbins?”
The way drayton’s expression fell didn't go unnoticed by the veteran. “Oh.” he started, shifting the truck into drive and moving out of the way of others. “..they’re at home,” he answered simply. “Taking care of Grandpa.”
That made sense. Grandpa needed someone to watch him. He was old.
He gave a soft nod.
The two fell into a comfortable silence (for the younger, at least). It was fairly unusual for the sawyers to be quiet but bobby was tired and drayton had too many thoughts in his head.
How would he react when he found out what happened?
“Now- bobby..uh..you realize some things have..changed..since you left.” Drayton tried to be careful with his words. It wasn’t all the time he was soft with his younger brothers but-..this felt different. He had just been through war. He watched his friends die right in front of him. On top of that - nubbins had-
“I know!” he smiles at him. “I-I’m quite ready to see what you guys have been cookin’!!” 
There it was. That quietness.
“Yknow, i made a friend.” bobby mentions softly. “He always called me chop top. Gave it to me in the hosp-hospital!”
Drayton just nods.
“He was real sweet, gave me one of his records - he did! A-a Beatles one! ‘Sargeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band’.” he leaned back slightly, “that’s the one with the song that people say is related to LSDs!!” he grins, looking over to his brother as he rests his hands behind his head. “Though it actually originated from John Lennon’s son’s drawing.”
Drayton let him ramble on, letting him be happy for the moments before the storm.
He couldn't focus on what Bobby was saying, just staring blankly at the road.
“That’s nice, Bobby.” He mumbled.
The younger frowned, watching him. “You’re being awfully quiet.” He spoke softly, his eyes full of worry as he stared.
Drayton swallowed hard “don’t worry about it, boy.” 10 minutes. Just 10 more minutes.
The truck fell silent again. More of an uncomfortable silence now.
It didn’t take long for the duo to get there. Home.
“What happened?” bobby asked as he set his shaky hand on the door handle.
“It’s a long story.” Drayton grumbled, shutting the truck off before opening his own side’s door and stepping out.
Bobby followed soon after, retrieving his bags from the back seat. He meets his brother at the front door, grinning. He was excited to see the rest of his family. Especially his twin. He doesn’t know how to explain it but they’re..connected. Not just by blood but it feels like they can finish each other’s thoughts without even needing context. 
Twins can read each others mind. His sergeant had said when they were eating lunch. Hell yeah. They could do that.
Drayton sighs heavily as he opened the door. “Welcome home, Bobby.”
The taller quickly ran into the house “bubba!” he shouts “nubbins!!”
There was a loud clatter. Then excited screaming. Then out came bubba, all grown up; wearing a fancy new tie and a yellow rubber apron and..
Bobby was tackled, pulled into a tight hug. Bubba babbled out sobs, squeezing him much too tight. 
“Hi bubba!” he laughs, wrapping his arms around his brother’s large frame. If you ask if he cried, he’d obviously say no..but he’s lying. Tears were shed as he held his younger brother. “You’ve grown!” he pointed out, grinning at him.
Bubba nods quickly, moving off and standing to show his height growth. Choptop chuckled and stood beside him “almost as tall as me, bub!”
Drayton smiled at the two, staying quiet.
“Where’s nubs?” Choptop suddenly asked, looking around “he ain’t surprising me is he?” The tall veteran searched the remains of the home, calling his twin’s name “Nubbins! Nubbins!! Fuck are you?!”
The eldest brother watched as Choptop called for his twin. He knew he had to tell him but how would he? Bobby would lose his mind if he found out. Drayton knew he would eventually find the corpse. He didn’t dare toss it. Not without Bobby saying goodbye first.
His first clue of his twin’s disappearance was the way Bubba looked at Cook. He was scared. Not just scared to be yelled at or hit like normal but scared of something else. Had Drayton done something to him while he was away?
Drayton had been unusually quiet. Was it because he was guilty of something? Did he do something to Nubbins? Bobby started to get worried. Not to mention how frustrated he was. Why couldn’t they just tell him dammit?! Where was his twin?? “He’s gone.” Cook spoke up.
Bobby’s eyes watered. Gone? Like - gone to town? Gone hitchhiking? Dead?
He saw a lot of death in Vietnam. Whether it be his own men or the enemies. This was different. This was his twin. The man who had been there with him since they were born. The boy who slept in the same bed as him; right side, facing the wall, hugging a pillow, hogging the blankets. If Nubbins was dead who the hell was gonna force him to have to get up and sleep with a quilt? Who was gonna kick him awake in his sleep?
“He..he aint dead right?” 
Bobby’s voice cracked. He wasn’t used to speaking with such urgency. He’s not used to losing his spark - his chipper tone he always held when he experienced something terrible. No, he was panicked. His voice shook as he asked his question, hoping - praying -  the answer would be a simple no. There had to be an explanation. Nubbins couldn’t be dead.
The silence told him everything he needed to know. No one would speak to him. Bobby choked on his sobs, instead changing his question to: “Where is he?”
Cook pointed to the stairs. He had left Nubbins on the twins’ bed. Undisturbed. He was peaceful even after what he had gone through. Bubba cowered, moving to the side as Choptop sprinted up the stairs. He took a sharp left. The other two didn’t follow. He needed his moment alone. 
Bobby slammed the door to their room open, flinging himself at the bed. He wrapped his skinny arms around his twin’s rotting body. The smell was awful. Nothing he hadn’t experienced before. “Nubbins!” He cried, forcing the covers off of the body. He held his twin close to his body, sob after sob wracking through his chest. He felt awful. He was supposed to be the responsible twin. He was supposed to be the one protecting his brother - even when Drayton was away. He knew Nubbins was harder to care for. He took on the challenge. And he failed.
He had been gone 3 years. He was only 25. Nubbins was only 25. God knows how long he’s just been sitting here. Choptop muttered to himself, begging Nubbins to wake up. It was like those nights again. Back when they were kids and when Bobby would have a bad dream. Nubbins always held him tight and Bobby did the same when Nubbins had a nightmare. He always held Nubbins close, made sure he would stop crying before Drayton or Ma came upstairs.
“I’ve - I’ve got you Nubs.” He whispered, face buried in the rotting hair. “Y-you’re okay. I’m home.”
It wasn’t until a week later that Drayton and Bubba saw Choptop. He had been keeping himself tucked away in his room since he found out. Somewhere he was safe. With someone he felt safe with. A corpse he felt safe with. Choptop trudged down the stairs, his usual cheery and manic tone back in action. He held the corpse close to his side. Drayton was in the kitchen at the time, cooking some poor soul into chili. “M-me n’ Nubbins are gonna go out!” He called. Drayton glanced over his shoulder, eyebrows furrowed.
“What the hell?” Bobby already had the door open before he could say anything more. “Let’s haul butt, bro!”
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anakinsthot · 11 months ago
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Since im not sure which ones you've been sent already: 13, 15, or 25 for jarpatine (i kid, i kid! Please do obikin!)
I was soooooo tempted to write jarpatine it's not even funny.
Here's a super self-indulgent fill from this prompt list.
Background: eventing is the equestrian sport that Anakin participates in. It is a 3-phase sport and the one that's relevant here is cross country, where horse and rider jump over solid obstacles across terrain. It is one of the riskiest competitive horse sports and also what I do - although not at the same level Anakin is at. If anyone has questions feel free to ask!
15. meeting in the ER/A&E au (1.3k words)
beep      beep      beep
Anakin came to awareness in stages. Hearing first: a steady beeping sound and far-away murmur of voices. Then touch: cotton sheets over him, cool air on his face, and pain in his shoulder.
Finally he blinked his eyes open and took in the white ceiling tiles above him.
Ah. Hospital then, was his first thought. Guess we couldn’t save it at that oxer. I knew it was going to cause problems for someone today, followed quickly by, “Artoo? Is he okay?”
His voice must have alerted someone that he was awake, because a doctor came into the room followed quickly by his mother and his coach.
“Mr. Skywalker, please lay back down. I need to assess your concussion,” Anakin hadn’t even realized he’d sat up. He ignored the doctor and repeated his question.  
“How is Artoo?” His heart was lodged in his throat – if the worst had happened to his horse he could never forgive himself.
“He’s alright,” Mace reassured him. “He got up and walked away from your fall. The vet assessed him and he’s a little sore but nothing some NSAIDs and stall rest won’t fix. Ahsoka is taking care of him.”
Relieved, Anakin finally lay back down in the bed. “Sorry you had to see that, mom,” he said quietly. His mother had been so worried when Anakin started to move up the levels in eventing. After a couple years and successful runs at Advanced she’d finally started to calm down. This certainly wouldn’t help her nerves next time he left the start box.
Shmi didn’t say anything. She sat at Anakin’s side and took his hand gently, evidence that she’d been crying on her face in bloodshot eyes and dried tears on her cheeks.
“Mr. Skywalker,” the doctor stepped closer now. “I’m sure you’ll want to catch up with your mother and
” his voice trailed off for a moment, before Mace brusquely introduced himself as Anakin’s coach, “and coach. I really do need to do a TBI assessment though. This is the first time you’ve been awake long enough since you came in an hour ago.”
Anakin winced. Things could have been worse, obviously, but that wasn’t a good sign. Now that he was paying more attention he realized that the lights were dim and there was a pulsing pain in his head.
“I’m Dr. Kenobi, the neurologist on your case,” the man introduced himself. Anakin took a good look at him for the first time. He was well built, with an impeccable beard and kind eyes. If he had to be stuck in a hospital room, Anakin thought, at least he got an attractive doctor.
“Hi doc. You can just call me Anakin,” he said. He tried to offer a hand to shake, but at the sudden pain in his shoulder quickly thought better of it.
“You’ve broken your collar bone on the right side,” Dr. Kenobi informed him quickly. “You should be given a sling for it shortly, but the preliminary results from radiography look like you won’t need surgery.”
“Can’t you just kiss it better?” Anakin asked on autopilot. Shmi sighed and squeezed his hand. He could practically hear her and Mace rolling their eyes. He’d just been through a traumatic accident and the doctor really was attractive. Sue him.
Dr. Kenobi pulled up a chair on the side of the bed across from Shmi. “I’m afraid the hospital frowns on patient-provider relationships,” he said lightly. “Now, you’ve had a CT scan done while you were unconscious and we didn’t find anything concerning, but I need to do a neurologic exam as well. The CT shows us if there is any physical injury such as bleeding, but it can’t show a concussion.”
Anakin nodded his assent and followed the doctor’s directions. He tracked a pen light with his eyes, pushed and pulled with his good arm against Kenobi, and held his breath while the doctor leaned in close his face to examine his pupils and touch various parts of his face while directing Anakin to bite down.
“You’re lucky,” Dr. Kenobi announced, rolling back in his chair. “From what Mace has said your head was very badly clipped by Artoo’s hoof when you both fell. You have a mild concussion, but no significant brain injury and your collar bone should heal well. Thank your helmet that it’s not any worse.”
“And the air vest Mom makes me wear,” Anakin tried to joke. He glanced at Shmi from the corner of his eye. If he weren’t laying in a hospital bed, she’d probably be smacking him on the arm for such a poor joke right now, based on the look in her eyes.
“Maybe we can get Hit-Air to sponsor you now,” Mace said lightly. He gave Anakin a smile and stepped towards the door. “Text me any updates. I’m going to get a press release out and make sure Artoo gets home.”
“Thank you Mace,” Shmi said. Her eyes were clearer now, losing the ring of red around them and she’d scrubbed the tear tracks from her cheeks. “Anakin, would you like something to eat now? If that’s ok with Dr. Kenobi.”
Dr. Kenobi nodded, but gave Shmi instructions to get Anakin something light that would be easy on his stomach. She nodded and followed Mace out.
Now that they were alone, Anakin the question that had been sitting on his tongue for several minutes now. “When can I ride again, Doc?”
Dr. Kenobi laughed. “Typical equestrian,” he said with a smile. “I tell you you have a TBI and broken bones and the only thing you’re worried about is when you can get back in the saddle.”
He clicked his pen a few times in thought. “The collarbone break is pretty clean. Radiology has to write up their opinion on the x-rays but I don’t think you’ll need surgery. You’re still fairly young, I’d say six to eight weeks for that to heal.
“The TBI is another beast, as I’m sure you know. You could be recovered in a couple weeks or it may take months. I want you to take this seriously, Anakin. Even a mild brain injury can have effects that last for the rest of your life. After you’re released we’ll have follow-up appointments to monitor your progress. Physical therapy for your shoulder, possibly occupational therapy if you have any issues come up.”
It could be much worse, Anakin reminded himself before picking up on part of what Dr. Kenobi had said. “We’ll have follow-ups? You’ll continue to be my doctor?”
Dr. Kenobi chuckled. “If you’re staying in Ocala, then yes, I’ll be your neurologist.”
“Can I request someone else?” Hurt flashed across Dr. Kenobi’s face and he pushed further away from the bed before he quickly put on a professional mask. Anakin immediately kicked himself. He hadn’t meant to hurt Dr. Kenobi. “Only I’d really like to ask you out for dinner and I heard the hospital doesn’t like patient-provider relationships.”
“If we’re going to get dinner I think you should start calling me Obi-Wan,” Dr. Kenobi rolled closer to the side of Anakin’s bed. “And I have to insist that you at least wait until you’re discharged to ask me out.”
“I can be patient,” Anakin promised with a grin.
Obi-Wan scoffed. “If you were patient you wouldn’t be doing eventing. Don’t forget, I’m a doctor in Ocala. I know your type.”
“I can be patient if you tell me to,” Anakin insisted. “And anyway it sounds like it won’t be too long before they discharge me.”
Obi-Wan laughed and scribbled something on his notepad before tearing it out, folding it delicately, and giving it to Anakin. “Here, for when you get out. I’ll speak to one of my colleagues about taking on your case.”
Anakin grinned and took a moment to admire Obi-Wan’s ass as he walked to the door. “Thanks doc. I’ll see you soon!”
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oshidorifuufu · 2 months ago
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hi hi hi i’m really sorry for answering this late, i was sleeping. please don’t worry if i sound serious
 it’s merely the way i talk.
i’m not sure how to explain why i admire you. i already attempted to do so in the first message i sent, but i think there is something about you that just makes me go quiet and observe with interest. i admire how you still hold on, i think. you’re very strong, i’d already give up if i were subjected to the pain you’re most likely feeling.
about my name
uh
i chose to call myself okochama to get used to the name (as i’m planning to use it if i ever get around to becoming a vocaloid producer or otherwise a content creator). its direct translation would be childish or immature, i believe. it’s a trait i’ve been scolded for by nearly all of my friends, one i’ve been trying to erase from all aspects of my behavior. i try to please people, i really do, but i’ve never been able to stop acting the way it is natural to me. humming and jumping and repeating certain phrases, laughing at or finding wonder in things i shouldn’t. i do not want to traumadump, or experiencedump if you wish (as i believe i do not have trauma from these people), but you get my point. my apparent childishness is my most distinctive, albeit negative trait, and i chose to somehow “reclaim” it and call myself immature, in a way.
i yapped, forgive me.
i only log in to discord a few times a month, so after a very long pause, i decided to check on the server. to my surprise, it grew significantly since i joined. i opened a channel and spotted a very familiar name with a very familiar account theme. it didn’t take long for me to realize you and that luka are the same person, i don’t think i’ve seen another jirai named luka so far.
i highly believe you aren’t even aware of my account, as i usually just lurk or am not present at all. but i think i managed to say hi a few times.
as you can already guess, many word typer okochama
thank you for answering my questions okochama!!! sorry i was wrong i just cant read tone
thank you, for all its worth i do think i’m somewhat mentally strong, i mean a lot has happened and does happen to me but im still alive so

i feel so happy to be admired, ive never felt that before, or someone caring for me just by me existing..?
thats interesting!!! i wanted to try out vocaloid production for a while too. i actually did buy a voicebank some years ago, it was otomachi una. i havent made anything except for some covers though because i dont know how to make music
also, im not trying to push anything and obv i dont have enough info but have you looked into autism
? repeating phrases especially sounds like an autistic trait but obv i cant diagnose you
i hope they havent got to you too much, and also its totally fine to ‘experiencedump’ here, i’ll try to help you if i can, if you care about my wellbeing i care about yours too
thats so crazy by the way!! yes its the same luka ~ i have actually met another jirai luka but it was luca lol. im not aware of your account and i wont try and search for it but if you ever want to reveal it or dm me you’re totally fine too
thanks again okochama~ >_<
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djtoilet6 · 9 months ago
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Cate Dunlap x Detainer Astro Skibidi Toilet
||NO ONE ESCAPES JUSTICE||
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It was a normal day on Godolkin University,Cate Dunlap was with Sam Riordan,who she just mind-Controlled to make him forgett about all his memories to turn him into a killing machine.
Cate set free all the prisoners from the woods causing chaos and ultimately a massacre on Godolkin.
She was tired of humans and wanted to see them death,she was out of control,screaming,crying and confused while Marie Moreau and Jordan Li desperately tried to stop the mind controller menace,hurting and killing supes in the process.
As the massacre continued a confrontation between Cate and Marie and Jordan Happened..
"Cate you have to stop!you are fucking crazy,innocent people is dying,this got out of control"Marie said out of breath
"We can talk about this Cate,just stop this nightmare please"Marie added
"They have used us for years,for their own benefit...,Marie im trying to save you all!"
Cate then began to cry
"Cate please,not all humans are like them...Just stop this please!"Marie Said
"But Marie you're not a person,you're a product to them,a freak Im trying to save you!"
Sam them appeared and saw a person trying to run away but he jumped at them like a beast and with a single punch exploded their head,shocking Marie and Jordan
"Sam,Fucking kill them all,make them suffer"Cate said serious...
Then she started to control other supes and peple to clean up the evidence,While sam was on a killing spree.
However the clouds started to change it's colour and a breeze started to feel over the campus
The he appeared....
And humanoid man with a toilet as a body and an metalling armor with 3 claws with lasers
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He travelled at the speed of the light,a lunatic speed impossible even for A-Train himself.
The man fled towards the Supes that where wrecking the chaos on the campus and one of them tried to attack him,firing an electric blast towards him,but he just stopped the energy with his claws and sent it back to the psycho supe exploding her.
Cate shocked told Sam to attack and he did,he charged towards the Astro Toilet trying to punch him but the astro just rammed him at an incredibly lunatic speed killing Sam.
He then started to destroys the supes causing the chaos,none of them stod a chance against him.
When he was about to end Cate he just smiled and got closer to her.
"You.....you did all of this,you deserve to get punished....."The Astro said in a deep voice and an annoyed face.
"S S-Sir i-im.... sorry i was j-just confu-fused...please forgive me....."Cate said in absolute fear
"Inmoral mortals should not be forgived"Astro Toilet Said
"But you....you look rather stunning...are you alone?"Astro added
"WHAT?!....W-Well i...my boyfriend died some time ago but im n-not in the mood f-for a rela-"She replied before being stopped by Astro
"YOU have no right to choose on my stay.....You are mine now and we are gonna have an adventure together"Detainer said before grabbing Cate and fly away with her...
Cate was very scared of this guy but also somewhat amazed by him,she tought he looked cool but tried to not focus on that,a blushed cate touched his helmet as he noticed it and just smiled
"You know? Pretty girls like you deserve the whole world,what are your powers? Im genuinely interesed"detainer said
"Mind control,i can make people do whatever i want just by touching them,before the incident i used to wear gloves to prevent this from happening"Cate answered
"Interesting,i think you already noticed your cheap power is not working on me right?"Detainer said
"Yes...."Cate replied
"Don't worry,a goddess like you deserves to get everything"Detainer said
"I...I guess?,i honestly don't know what to say,thanks also"Cate replied
"We can live awesome things together,i promise you will adore them"Astro said
"Well if you say so,okay hehe"Cate said
"They flied over the city,seeing different things,at the end they came back to godolkin
"I really liked that a lot" Cate said blushed and smiling
"I liked it too"Detainer said before trying to kiss her
..however he was stopped by someone...
The one and only Homelander arrived the place in ruins as he stared deeply at detainer.
"Homelander....Vought's main product....the biggest fraud ever..."Detainer said
"And who the fuck are you supposed to be?,like are you some failed freak or something?,i"ll give you a choice....get the fuck out of my countr-"Homelander said before Detainer started to laugh
"You know the penalty for your acts,homelander....No one escapes justice"Astro said
"Patethic scum"The astro said putting Cate down
"Let's finish this now"he added
Homelander just laughed as his eyes turned red and he started to shoot his laser eyes towards Detainer
Detainer only catch them with his claws and forming a red power orb that he threw to homelander.
He avoided it and then detainer prepared to warp again but homelander just lasered him again while punching him,detainer used his magnetizer powers against him and also his retractable tentacles,it was a bloody fight that destroyed a good part of the university,Astro then did a very powerful attack that destroyed homelander and sent him directly to a pile of bricks
"Thomas Godolkin,Victoria Neuman,Stan Edgar,The seven...they already paid for their sins,you are the next John"Detainer said
The toilet pulled a large blade out of one of his claws and the destroyed homelander with it ending him once for all.
"OH MY GOD Y-YOU JUST KILLED HOMELANDER"Cate said in absolute shock
"He's nothing against me,he's just a pathetic worm"Astro said
"What the fuck,this day must be a dream,this can't be true"Cate said
"It is Reality Mrs.Cate"Astro said
Detainer then got closer to Cate and kissed her,her face was red as a tomato
"Let's get out of here"Astro said before grabbing her and flying away
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growandrecover · 1 year ago
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i don’t know how to cope with my weight gain. I’ve gained so much weight and i feel like im constantly gaining more. Clothes from two summers ago don’t fit anymore. A pair of jeans that were loose on me fit now. I’m afraid it’s not going to stop. Im afraid I’ll just keep gaining weight. Im afraid im eating too much. Im afraid im doing something wrong by eating at all. Im afraid to stop exercising because it makes me feel worse about food. Im afraid im never going to get better and im afraid I don’t deserve to get better and im afraid im doing it wrong and I feel disgusting and uncomfortable and I don’t like feeling hungry and i don’t like feeling full and I don’t know how much I’m supposed to eat in a day and no one listens to me when I say im afraid im eating too much because they all think I’m still under eating but what if they’re wrong because they don’t know what I eat in a day and what if I keep gaining weight and it doesn’t stop I don’t want to have to replace my clothes im sorry for the rant Im having a hard time
I'm just now seeing this ask, and I'm so, so sorry! I hope you're okay, anon. Please forgive me <3
I know exactly how you feel, I really do. Here is a gentle reminder that we are not meant to fit into the clothes, they are meant to fit us. Something that helps me with these thoughts is this: I started my eating disorder when I was 16 years old. I'm 19 now, and my body is no longer the same as it was when I was 16. I look back on myself before my ed, and wish that I hadn't done what I did, but I wouldn't look like that regardless. I'm not sure how old you are, but our bodies change naturally as we get older. Even if you were only in your ed for a few months, your body could have possibly changed anyways. 14/15 year old me would not have looked the same as I do now, even without the ed, because that's how our bodies work. I won't look the same in my mid 20s, either, and that's okay.
It seems like you're still practicing some ed behaviors out of fear, and let me tell you (as someone who did the exact same thing), it won't make anything better for you. Exercise in itself is beneficial to your body, but not when you're doing it in the way we do. Not eating enough and working out is only going to delay your recovery. If you can, maybe try to limit your exercise until you can practice it in a healthy way.
I know it's hard, but if I were you, I'd listen to the people around you, especially if they don't have eds or disordered eating. If they have a healthy relationship with food, they can look at you (like they're doing) and be able to tell you honestly that you're not eating enough. Try to trust them. Your eating disorder will tell you they're lying, but they're not. You can eat freely.
Unfortunately, sometimes feeling uncomfortable and disgusting is part of recovery. We've gotten used to the way our body looks when we're hurting it, and now that we're trying to get better, we may not look the same. I felt so hideous and gross for so long, but it does get better. This ask was sent a few months ago (and again, I'm so sorry), so I hope you're doing better now.
Your weight gain will eventually come to an end, once your body can trust you again and can hold on to the weight.
And again, unfortunately, you may have to replace your clothes. But as I mentioned earlier, they're just clothes. Even if they're some of your favorite things you own, you'll find new favorites. Please don't try to maintain your lower weight to fit into your clothes. It's just fabric, and the sizes are all a joke anyways.
I really hope you're doing well, and I apologize again for taking so long to answer this. Wishing you the best of luck in your recovery, anon. You can do this. <3
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letterstolio · 1 year ago
Text
when_they_see_us
the first thing i did today right after waking up, was cry. and i cried for a solid 30 minutes. i sent him 100 and more messages, i begged him to stay and i begged him to talk to me. and maybe its corny, but my heart felt so heavy it hurt to breathe. i had never felt like that with anyone, i have never begged anyone to stay. i dont even know if he'll be able to read it, but i hope he does. i hope he understands that i dont care if he ruins me. i want him to rot me inside out with every horrible thing he's done, and i'll show him that it all doesn't matter. i want to ask him how he is, i want him to ask me for a song again. i went to school but i couldn't pay attention because my mind always drifted back to him. he told me not to worry but i cry for him. and i pray. and i get mad at myself, for giving back all the sorry's i couldnt give him back then. for all the apologies i had owed him. he says its okay, and i believe it. but something deep in me knows it'll weigh my heart down. and Lio if you ever come across this, i'll keep asking you for forgiveness the same way you thought i should have all those years ago. im sorry i couldn't. im sorry for the things i did, and didnt do. will you please talk to me about it? ask me for another song that describes how i feel, please? ask me Lio. i'm on my knees with my heart out on the floor, and im crying and im sobbing and im begging you. am i selfish? that i want you to stay? is it gonna be better for you, or me, or us if you leave? do you have to? i don't want to find new friends, i just want to tell you how my week was. here's my song today, Lio. it relates more to you, than to me. i hope ur okay.
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mqnasluvr · 4 years ago
Note
heya ! i heard you were new around here, could i request headcanons of enemies to lovers with kaeya and childe ? any pronouns are fine ! they’re so annoying i hate how i love them nevertheless,, thank you belladonna and take your time <3
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enemies to lovers | kaeya alberich
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pairings; kaeya x gn!reader
mentioned; jean
warnings; enemies to lovers but it’s pretty one sided, spoilers for kaeyas backstory, no beta we die like men, a lil bit of kaeya slander im sorry i had to, gn! reader
word count; 2k
a/n; where did kyquu go? :( i hope they at least see this.. i didnt finish childes part but i wanted to push this out as soon as possible. :(
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kaeya
to put it simply, your relationship with kaeya was... tiring.
you had been close to kaeya and his younger brother for years, them being your closest and most trusted friends throughout part of your childhood and teenage years. but that all came to a halt when the former admitted to being a spy from khaenri'ah.
in no way or form did he expect for you two to forgive him— but actually seeing your broken and betrayed faces hurt him more than he thought it would, and the image still haunts him to this day.
you had separated yourself from the two brothers. although diluc didn’t do anything wrong, you didn’t want to pick between them ( even though you really should’ve ). that decision was too hard for you to make.
for years, you stayed out of touch with kaeya as he continued to climb the ranks within the knights of favonius, and you followed, much to your dismay. you worked hard to become a knight, and you weren’t going to quit just because of some bad blood between you and your superior. ( props to you for maturity )
he wanted nothing more than to reconnect with you, and maybe even diluc— but that was wishful thinking. diluc ragnvindr was a stubborn, hardheaded man, and getting past that exterior would be no simple feat.
so, he opted for ( not so ) subtly courting you— giving you the occasional wave whenever he saw you walking through mondstadt, offering to help you train ( although you declined every time ), and other small things. you question why he chose to do this now of all times, after half a decade of not speaking to each other.
you weren’t sure how to feel, but it made you agitated. not seething with rage, but it did annoy you to see his lazy grin whenever he walked into the angels share and saw you sitting in the corner of the room. it annoyed you whenever he did that stupid two finger salute before walking off, and archons, did it annoy you when he patted your shoulder after sparring as if you were the best of buds.
then why did your thoughts never stray from him?
that question, you couldn’t answer.
and so, you resorted to treating him like he didn’t exist. it was rude, but you couldn’t really think of anything else. avoiding him like the plague was the one thing you were good at.
as if things couldn’t get any worse, one of your worst nightmares came to fruition.
“jean, please. why can’t i do this mission with you? why... him?” you were basically at the acting grand masters feet, head in your hands and pleading up at the woman. she felt bad, but there was nothing she could do.
“i’m really sorry y/n. but i’m too busy with other things, and kaeya happens to be available. you know an ordinary knight wouldnt be able to take this mission,” her guilt worsened when you looked up at her with ( fake ) tears in your eyes. she kneeled to your height.
“i don’t know of your history with kaeya, but please, just put it aside for this one mission. it shouldn’t take you very long.”
jean helped you stand to your feet, the frown etched into her face growing deeper when she saw your shoulders slump. “alright, fine..i’ll try-”
“jean! have you seen y/n— ah, there they are,” kaeya waltzed in without so much as a knocking, making you jump in surprise and shoot a glare at him. he flashed you a lazy grin.
“speak of the devil..” you muttered.
“are you ready to go? we don’t have much time.” the mission you were assigned was to gain intel on what the fatui were planning. to get said intel, you had to sneak into a gathering held by the fatui. the dresscode was rather expensive— more expensive than anything you owned— so to help you out, kaeya took the liberty of purchasing an outfit for you.
kaeya dropped it into your arms. “change into this. don’t want to show up to a party wearing uniform, do you?”
“thanks...” your face felt warm from embarrassment, but you did have to admit, that was considerate of him.
he laughed and waved his hand, shaking his head. “let’s get going, yeah?”
—
you finished getting ready with the help of jean. she sent you one last apologetic gaze before walking you out the door, waving at you both.
kaeya didnt even hide the fact that he was checking you out. his eyes raked over your attire, before sticking his arm out for you to hold. “my, my, you look quite impressive, y/n. is everything suited to your tastes?”
you huffed and walked past him. “the corset is too tight, and the shoes are too small.” you were only half lying— the corset was a bit uncomfortable to move in, but he got your shoe size down to a T. how? you didn’t really want to know.
“if that’s the case, i can loosen it for you-”
“no.”
kaeya laughed it off, and you only grew more irritated. “come now, y/n. don’t be so stiff.”
“i am perfectly content with being stiff, thank you. now hurry up, i want to get this over with,” you muttered the last part.
you didn’t want to admit that you were struggling to take your eyes off of his attire. he was clad in a white suit with blue complimentary colors to match your own outfit.
you rolled your eyes. ‘of course he’d get us matching outfits.’
but, you didnt find yourself minding all too much.
—
the party looked like any other party— fatui agents littered all over the residence, along with guests in fancy clothing.
you tugged on your sleeve, feeling uncomfortable and out of place. but on the outside, yourself and kaeya blended in pretty well.
because kaeya was such a well known figure, he had to change up his looks a bit. no eyepatch, ( i know, so uncharacteristic ) and he used contacts to change his eye color to a darker shade.
he also put that disgusting rat tail away.
so he didn’t look completely different, but he looked different enough.
...the change was nice.
you couldnt help but feel watched though. but that was to be expected. even though you felt somewhat secure in this situation, anxiety rests for no one. it rested in the pit of your stomach dormantly, waiting for a moment to bloom.
looking around the ballroom, kaeya found people dancing in the middle. deciding that it was better to at least enjoy the party before leaving, he stood in front of you and held his hand out, bowing.
“may i have this dance?”
“who do you think i am-”
kaeya flashed you a cautious glance, head nodding towards a fatui agent who was keeping their eye on the two of you. holding back a sigh, you placed your hand in his. he grinned.
“thank you,” he said. you grunted quietly and held back a roll of your eyes as he dragged you to the middle of the dance floor.
“attention whore,” you muttered, feeling warmer as he placed his hand on your lower back and pulled you in closer.
“you wound me, y/n.”
“you deserve it. i wish i could slap you.”
he stayed quiet. maybe too far?
you shook your head. no. there was no way you we’re going to let yourself feel sorry for him when he was literally a spy.
but he feels honest enough.
sure, his intentions at first were.. questionable. but he’s changed for the better. kaeya has been in mondstadt for years now, and khaenri'ah fell ages ago. his love for mond shouldn’t be doubted for a second, even if he hides it quite well.
before you could look up and make sure your words didn’t hurt him too badly, he leaned down near your ear.
“we have to go.”
“what-”
“i’ll explain later, but we have to go,” he grabbed your hand and pulled you through the crowd.
you didn’t notice, but several of the fatui agents were watching you. you didnt change your looks as much as he did, opting to use simple touch-ups to make yourself more presentable. but it wasn’t enough.
“hey!” one of that agents shouted, and kaeya turned his head back to see how close they were. like he suspected, they were following gou. they pushed through the people, even going as far as knocking one man over, just to catch up.
you hurried your steps along with kaeya, almost sprinting to keep up with him. his grip on your hand was firm though. you two dashed up the stairs onto the third floor of the residence, where the bedrooms were. offices, libraries, bedrooms— they were all there. kaeya picked a random one and shoved you both inside.
it was a red themed bedroom, the lights dim with papers scattered along the desk on the other side of the room. “it seems we’ve gotten lucky,” kaeya joked, skimming over the papers. they were letters, between the fatui and some unknown source. kaeya stashed them in his jacket.
you didn’t understand how he could joke at a time like this. you still arent in the clear and you could hear rapid footsteps coming upstairs. “kaeya—!”
“you know how you said you wanted to slap me?” he said while tucking the last bit of papers into his suit. he didnt even give you a chance to answer. “you can, after this.”
you were confused, but when he backed you up against the wall and pressed his lips to yours, that confusion turned into anger, then more confusion, then understanding.
sighing when you finally caught on, he pulled your body closer to his and you wrapped your arms sround his shoulders. he tugged and nipped on your bottom lip, and if you didnt know any better your knees would be knocking. he was almost too good at this.
suddenly, an agent— a female one, this time— barged in. “have you— hey! take that shit elsewhere, lovebirds!”
kaeya hid your face in his chest, grinning lazily at the woman. his lips were swollen and his eyes were lidded. the woman blushed.
clearing her thoat, she held up a picture of you. well, moreso the back of your head. “have you seen this individual?”
he stared at the woman, then glaced down at you. “..sorry. i’ve been busy, i haven’t seen anyone of the sort. wish i could help,” he shrugged, and the ladies blush worsened. “o-of course..” she muttered, before closing the door and locking it.
kaeya snorted at the irony. he looked back at you, who was still touching your lips with your fingers.
“was i that good?” he chuckled, and caught your hand when you moved to slap him. his laughter died down and he looks oddly serious.
“y/n, we need to talk..”
“...no we dont,” you turned your back to him. he put his hand on your shoulder.
“yes,” he sighed. “we do. i know you didnt want to do this with me-”
“kaeya..”
“-and really, i understand. but i’ve changed, and i know you’ve noticed. i dont want you to hate me forever-”
“kaeya-”
“and you can’t-”
“kaeya!” you nearly yelled. he finally stopped talking over you. “i don’t want to talk about this right now. can you just drop it?”
“then when?” he narrowed his eyes. he laughed humorlessly when there was no reply.
kaeya’s eyes softened the longer you stayed silent. he gently grabbed your wrist and pulled you in for a hug. “...sorry.”
“could you please shut up,” you mumbled into his chest. he laughed softly.
“i know you’re wary right now. but all i ask for is a second chance,” he pulled away and hend your hands together in his. “...please.”
it was an odd sight, seeing him this vulnerable. then again, there was a good chance he was faking it to get on your good side but.. for some reason you found it hard to believe that. he looked truly sincere.
you groaned.
“you better not make me regret this.”
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actualbird · 3 years ago
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What if mc was the dragon?👀
contents: cn server luke card spoilers, luke/mc, fantasy, angst, happy ending after the angst because im not CRUEL, inspired by the cn server pv of Luke SSR Nightmare of a Phantasmagorical Night but in no way indicative of the actual story of the card as that has not been released yet at all
wc: 949
(anon you chemically altered my brain and i was basically possessed by a deranged luke/mc ghost to write this. thank u, i loved this a lot! rbs, likes, n tag comments give me life đŸ„ș)
chapter 1
once upon a time luke is a knight and she is his princess. or at least that's what they were supposed to be, in this story. all stories have a knight and a princess, afterall, and so they played their roles. but maybe if this weren't the story, we could be more candid with what they are.
once upon a time luke is a child and so is she. running around together on the castle grounds, they did what all children did. they laughed and cried and spilled their love to each other in the messy, clumsy way all children tended to do. their love spilled amidst their laughter into the sun drenched days of before, spilling into the ground and seeping into the very land itself. in her eyes, he sees nothing but light but then they did what all children did:
once upon a time luke is a knight and she is his princess and then they grew up
chapter 2
once upon a time on the edge of manhood, luke is sent away. he understands, of course, he was their best and brightest, the one most capable to find this legendary evil that lurks in the shadows, an evil that threatens to emerge from the darkness one day to engulf the kingdom whole. so he left in the dead of the night, to save her from the pain of goodbyes.
once upon a time there were evenings luke would stare up into the sky and feel his drive falter and stutter. inside of him, there was still a child that felt fear, yearning, and the want to go back home. but on those nights he would close his eyes and remember the light in her eyes. on one of those nights, he realizes---not suddenly, but as if it had washed upon the shores of his heart wave after wave until the sands washed away, revealing the truth---that his love for her had been forged into devotion. so he got up the next day, took on his sword, forged in steel, and kept going.
chapter 3
once upon a time eight years pass. for every danger he defeated, for every horrid monster he rid, for every night that he pushed into the daylight, the evil he looks for evades his grasp. unbeknownst to luke, the evil he looks for had spilled into the ground with every slash of his sword. the evil he looks for had seeped into the very land itself. the evil that evades his grasp found its way into the body of the kingdom and it sought out the kingdom's heart.
once upon a time, a rose of a princess---who had already been feeling such an emptiness in her heart because he left her, he left her---felt that absence seized by a cold and icey power. how foolish, to leave the heart empty. something terrible and unspeakable, something from the ground, from the very land itself, took that space and wrenched her apart.
once upon a time luke is called back to the kingdom.
once upon a time his nightmares come true.
chapter 4
once upon a time---
"i can't," the knight says. his grip on his sword is strong but his heart is being ripped apart. "i can't, please, i---"
she roars, her towering form inching closer and closer to him, cornering him against a ruined wall, against everything that matters to him and everything the story wants him to do. in her eyes, the light is smothered by something with bared teeth and snarls but---
once upon a time---
"you know me," the knight pleads. "please, i know you're in there, you have to come back because i can't---i won't---"
she sends her claws into him, merciless. the knight feels his tears fall, not in fear for his death, but in anguish for what is happening. what had they ever done to deserve this? they were just children who grew up and loved so clumsily and messily but honestly as well. in her eyes, unshed tears but---
once upon a time---
"i won't raise my sword against you," the knight says, defeated. "i've hurt you enough."
in her eyes, a forgiveness that wants to spill out.
once upon a time---
"i'm sorry," luke says. he is not a knight in this moment. he is just who he is; a boy trying to be a man rendered a child again in the face of who he loves. he wants to go back home. and his home has always been her. "i'm sorry."
in her eyes---
she is no longer a monster. she is no longer a princess either. she is just who she is; a girl trying to be a woman rendered a child again in the face of who she loves.
the love the both of them had spilled all those years ago thrums in the ground, in the very land in the very itself, gives itself back to her. it rushes back into her heart and
in her eyes
light
chapter 5
once upon a time, there is luke and there is her. amidst the debris of after, luke holds her and she holds him. between them---in the small space they could not bridge in their embrace, just a sliver, just a wonderful reminder that they were two different people coming together---there is nothing but light.
once upon a time, if only for a moment, they don't have to do anything, be anything, but this:
two lives intertwined, waiting for the next day and the one after that and the one after that, to give their love to each other, wholly and honest and true.
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jungxk · 5 years ago
Text
crush
filed under. i totally forgot i wrote this. also i like the name eunmi sue me 
notes. thank you to @lonelyending for reading thru this crusty story and making me feel good enough about it again to post it. also @suga-kookiemonster bc im pretty sure i sent u this like a year ago and u told me to post it it but....i forgot abt it shdgjsgd. writing/life in general has been hard recently so pls accept this kookfic to hold yous over until i update just one
genre. fluff, light comedy, light angst, smut
warnings. smut (oral sex: f receiving, penetrative unprotected sex) 
length. 5.1k
the first thing jungkook thinks when he sees you is wow.
he hasn't been up for very long, and you don't even know he's looking at you through the window. yoongi-hyung has wrapped you up in his arms as you sob and sob, muted behind the protective hospital glass. even with messy hair and wet eyes he's starstruck. it's why he recoils slightly when jimin and namjoon explain to him that you're his wife.
"my," he can't even say the word. "my..."
"your wife," namjoon repeats. "you know what a wife is, right? marriage?"
"yes," jungkook huffs, digging his nails into his scalp. "i lost my memory, hyung, not my fucking brain cells." 
he suddenly registers the gold band glistening on his left hand, simple and heavy. he has to take a second to collect himself. "but...but i'm twenty-three. right? i am twenty-three, yeah?"
"yeah. you are," jimin says softly.
"then how the fuck am i already married? not that i'm complaining i just," he suddenly turns pink at the thought of you in a wedding dress, clinging onto his arm, breakfast dates, late night ramen runs at the convenience store, painting the living room in a house you probably share, naked in bed on top of him. jungkook clears his throat. "it just seems a little out of character for me. i can't commit to a pair of shoes for a week let alone-"
"i think it's best if you just spoke with ____," jimin finishes before jungkook can work himself into a frenzy, a comforting hand laying on his shoulder. "you two need to talk anyway and it's best if all these answers came from her."
jungkook gulps at the thought of speaking to you, seeing you face to face. suddenly he's a cripplingly shy fourteen year old again.
"okay." he croaks. "okay."
x
x
x
you were even more beautiful up close.
your tear stained cheeks are glowing and blotchy when you perch on the chair beside his bed, big eyes fluttering up at him nervously. you're soft and plush and shorter than he thought and jungkook has to fist his hands in the sheets and play a counting game with the heart rate monitor in order to maintain eye contact. he feels himself start to sweat when you smile sadly at him. "sorry, i just...i don't know how to be around you normally without making you uncomfortable," you say quietly, wringing your hands together to avoid touching him.
"uncomfortable?" he queries, gaze latching onto the ring on your hand. seeing it on you gives him a nice feeling.
you nod into your lap. "yeah, um..." you look at your scuffed shoes, searching for the word. "we're usually very...touchy."
he can feel himself turning red again. "t-touchy?"
you meet his eyes and a pretty smile breaks over your face at how bashful he looks, making jungkook's cheeks tinge even pinker than they already are. you nod cutely so your earrings tinkle, eyes shining, and suddenly he understands without any context why he fell in love with you, why he married you so young. you let a comfortable silence settle over the room before taking a deep breath, bracing yourself. "how much do you remember, jungkook?"
he tries not to cave under the weight of his guilt. "not a lot about...you, that is," he finishes with a wince, your sad eyes immediately making him wilt with shame. "i remember everything up until a couple of years ago. we had a show at the japanese dome, debuted in america, and then...nothing. and now..."
"and now," you echo softly. your eyes look distant, staring at the floor.
"i'm sorry," jungkook whispers, chin touching his chest. "hyung told me...they all told me how much i loved you and...and i'm sorry i don't remember any of it. i'm so sorry."
you shake your head gently. "don't be sorry, jungkook-ah," the pet name makes his ears perk up. its a familiar, calming sound. "none of this is your fault. you didn't ask to get hit by that car." your expression turns remorseful, tugging at his heart. "if anything, this is because of me. the only reason you were out was because i asked you to go and get eggs and formula even though i should've remembered to pick some up on the way home and-"
"no, no! please don't blame yourself," jungkook tries, wishing he was close enough or even brave enough to take your hand. you look up at him and he catches a glimpse of the endless pool of love you harbour for him, like a punch to the chest. "i don't ever want you thinking this was your fault. so ple-" he pauses. "wait, formula?"
the door bursts open before he can finish, pitter patter steps rounding his bed until it reaches the other side, where you sit. a little girl with big dark eyes and curls of dark hair stares at him in wonder and elation, her cheeks dimpling just like yours before she screeches, "appa!"
jungkook's mouth goes dry. appa?
you're quick to intervene, putting yourself in the toddlers path to scoop her up in your arms. her grabby little hands struggle over your shoulder, fingers wriggling in attempt to get as close to jungkook as possible. he only stares with wide eyes and an open mouth, heart hammering in his chest when he sees the uncanny resemblances: his round nose. your brown skin but just a twinge fairer. his hooded eyes. and his stomach lurches.
"shhh, eunmi," you coo as you carry her away even with her squirming. "remember what i said before? appa is sick. appa is sick, baby-"
"we have a child?" jungkook wheezes, eyes starting to glaze over. there's a bout of silence when you look back at him guiltily, the baby's fumbling grinding to a halt when she registers the tension in the air. jungkook's breath is barely a whisper. "is that my daughter?"
your face crumples with a fresh bout of tears and eunmi looks on worriedly. she pushes her little lips into your cheek in a baby's kiss, like she's seen her father do so many times to get your attention. the word "amma," is muffled into your skin until you get yourself together and press a short kiss to her head.
yoongi rushes in, face twisted in apology. "i swear to god i turned around for one minute and-"
"it's okay, yoongi," you say quietly, stroking the baby's head. "eunmi, stay with uncle just a bit longer, okay? amma will be back in a minute..."
"appa," she whines over your shoulder, reaching for jungkook who sits helplessly in his bed. he watches with tears wetting his eyelashes, heart twisting in agony at the sight of his child he doesn't remember stretching her arms out for him. she begins to cry when he doesn't react or coo her. like he used to.
"take her, yoongi," you say shakily, passing the baby to him. the sound of eunmi's crying makes your heart shatter all over again, yoongi's quiet hushing doing nothing to qualm her sobbing as the heavy door closes behind them.
the silence that falls between the two of you is nothing short of excruciating. jungkook's head spins, completely overwhelmed: is that why you both got married so young? because of a child? was this why jimin and namjoon wouldn't say a damn thing about his life until he spoke to you first?
and then all the other questions that followed: was he a good father? when was his daughter's birthday? did she like kimchi and banana milk too? did he sing to her? read to her often?
would she ever forgive him for not being able to remember her?
"her name is eunmi," you say, looking down at the floor when jungkook starts to cry.
x
x
x
jungkook doesn't understand how his baby could be so pretty. she's golden brown like those sandy beaches on postcards, with chubby cheeks and twinkling dark eyes that resemble yours to a t, and that's when he realises of course she's beautiful. she's yours. you balance eunmi on your hip while you make coffee - decaf, since you're still weaning - and despite the amnesia jungkook feels like he's been here before, in this warm, happy place that is the kitchen.
"she got your nose though," you remind him, dumping the baby in his lap upon her fussing. she always seemed to wind down under his touch, and although nervous about the sudden responsibility of fatherhood, jungkook is compelled to give it. eunmi doesn't understand anything's changed so he doesn't see why he should act like it. "she's whiny before her milk too. like you."
"hey!" he retorts, but can't exactly defend himself. he twirls his fingers around her curly pigtails until she catches on and tries to stand on his thighs, reaching for his hair to yank. jungkook lets her. he's barely known his daughter a week and he's already so smitten he'd let her gut him open with a butter knife.
"she missed you, you know. when you were in hospital all this time," you say, making him look up to watch you stare into your drink. the fear still lingers in your eyes, faint and persistent. he can see it every time you look at him and it makes his body yearn to touch you like he once did, like he once would have before his brain unlearned everything his heart didn't. you laugh while watching eunmi pull his hair again, making him hiss. "even yoongi tried but no one coddles her as much as you."
"really?" he asks, face lighting up. he's so happy to hear that. jungkook hates the way the question bubbles up in the back of his throat, like it'd make a difference or it'd change how he felt. but he has to ask it. "is that why...is that why we got married so early, then?" he says, trying to sound as offhand as possible. "because of eunmi?"
you chew your lip. "yeah. i mean, you said it wasn't a big deal. because you were going to marry me eventually so it didn't make a difference, but...it doesn't really matter i guess, because that's not what everyone else thinks," you pause, tracing the rim of your mug again. "that's certainly not what your fans think."
jungkook doesn't even want to think about it. the backlash, the gossip, the name calling and dehumanisation. for the first time in his life jungkook couldn't give less of a shit about his reputation. "i'm sorry," he says, feeling like the word has lost meaning by now with how much he's said it. "i'm so sorry. not for this, for us or for eunmi. i don't regret any of that i just," he shifts the baby in his lap, still getting used to her weight. "i can only imagine what you went through."
you look a bit bewildered. "...you said that last time too." you smile again reassuringly. "please don't feel solely responsible, kook-ah. you didn't exactly get me pregnant on your own."
he flushes tomato red and you giggle at him until eunmi joins in too.
x
x
x
jungkook can't keep his eyes off you while you play with the baby, comb out her hair, sing her lullabies while you bathe her together. he'd always wanted a whirlwind romance as a teen and it looks like he finally got it, because he can feel himself fall head first in love with you (all over again). it didn’t make sense for someone to be so collected and easygoing after having motherhood forced onto you so abruptly. you tell him often that he's a picture-perfect dad, but jungkook still doubts he compares.
"does she need a change?" he asks, struggling to keep all of eunmi's wriggling limbs in his grip.
"nope, just hungry," you say, reaching out when he passes the baby to you. you're about to stand up and go to the guest room to feed her, but jungkook is already arranging the pillows next to him for you, grabbing a baby cloth on the side too.
"do you need another pillow?" he muses aloud, but he's already grabbing the ones on his side of the bed before you can answer, forming a wedge for you to sit nicely beside him. he looks up at you when you fail to move. "are you okay?"
"yeah i, um," you chew your lip nervously. "you don't...mind me feeding here?"
you immediately regret the question once it leaves your mouth. jungkook's crestfallen expression hits you right in the stomach, round eyes glittering up at you. he hasn't looked this upset since he woke up nearly a month ago. "why would i ever mind?”
"oh jungkook," you sniff, sitting beside him. he pulls you into the nest of pillows beside him, arm winding protectively around your shoulders. your eyes brim with sympathy tears, tired and angry and upset with treating him like a stranger.
"if i make you feel uncomfortable, i can go," he offers quietly. "if it makes you feel weird i understand..."
"no, not at all," you rush to stop him, suddenly realising how close you are. you could kiss his pink little lips if you just tilted your head up. "i just didn't want to make you feel weird. all this new stuff is happening to you, you're suddenly a husband and a father with no recollection of signing up or it and i just...i don't know how much you want to invest the second time around," you scramble to finish your sentence when he pins you with a concerned expression. “as in, i understand if you don’t want to make the same choice twice. it’s a big decision.”
he shakes his head dismissively. there wasn't a thing in the world that could make him turn his back on his family but it looked like you still needed convincing. he peers at you curiously when you position the baby. "so i can stay?"
you smile at him eagerly. "of course," you undo the nursing strap of your bra before the baby finally latches. "i actually prefer it when you're here. it makes me feel safe."
jungkook watches quietly while you hum for the baby, playing with her little hand while she drinks. the adoration seeps out of him in waves, how serene you look while you rock her, how angelic eunmi looks while she blinks her big doll eyes up at you both. she won't stay this little forever. he feels so overwhelmed by it, gathering you further in his arms with the urge to hold his family in his hands like a diamond. you don't question the little sniffles jungkook buries into your hair, resting your head on his shoulder wordlessly. you missed being held by him, missed his cotton scent and gentle breath.
"i love her so much," he whispers into the shell of your ear, entranced by the baby's little gurgles and gulps. he reaches out to run his knuckle over the velvet of her cheek, round and stuffed with milk. "i feel like i'll die, i love her so much."
"me too," you smile. "it was scary and hard for a long time but...i'm so glad we had her. i wouldn't trade her for anything."
you feel jungkook's lips trace your temple, heart stuttering upon the sudden contact. you hear what he doesn’t say: i wouldn't trade either of you.
x
x
x
"why are you so sweaty?" jimin scowls, noting the dark patches under jungkook's t-shirt when he tries to take the baby from his arms. "it's not even humid today."
jungkook doesn't do anything but gulp and cuddle a sleeping eunmi closer to his chest. she's become somewhat of a security blanket for him; even if she wasn't awake to play, he was always itching to hold her and nuzzle into her head when he's tense or embarrassed. like now.
"leave him alone, you know he sweats when he's shy," yoongi grins.
"stop it," jungkook mumbles.
"shy? what for?"
"because he's got a crush on his wife," namjoon snickers, knowing jungkook would whack him one if his arms weren't around his kid. "why are you looking at me like that? it's true!"
"but you can't just say it! she'll hear!" he hisses.
"you're married," jimin deadpans but it only makes the younger boy curl in on his baby more. "god, this reminds of when you two met. remember how he used to hide behind manager hyung every time ____ came in? and then i had to listen to them fuck in the next room for a year only to end up back here all over again-"
"jungkook," you call. "where did these come from?" you walk into the sitting room with a bouquet of yellow roses nestled in your arms. "did a fan send them? i didn't see a note they were just on the worktop-"
"th-those are for you," he mumbles. "i got those for you."
you look so pretty when you stare it makes him sweat harder and the three older boys all but burst a vein in their head trying not to laugh when leaving the room. there's an awkward silence where you clutch the flowers and he clutches the baby. "thank you," you say finally. "they're beautiful, i love the colour yellow..."
his big doe eyes round up to look at you even though the lower half of his face is smushed into pigtails. "you're welcome."
"can i kiss you?" you blurt out, too fast to stop it. your cheeks are still stinging and you're pretty sure you have baby powder in your hair but jungkook looks at you with awe as he nods so vigorously his earrings shake.
so you do, leaning over the arm of the sofa to press your mouth over his long enough for both your breaths to catch. you pull away, moving to sit next to him so his free arm can wind around your shoulders when you kiss him again. "please," he mumbles when you part. "please don't ask to kiss me. just do it," he leans for another long, warm kiss that leaves you light headed. "stop tip-toeing around me, okay? we're married. i know i scare easy, but not that easy."
you feel giddy, finally feeling the weight being lifted piece by piece. "okay," you peck his mole endearingly before scooting up for another kiss. "i missed this."
"me too," he hums into your mouth. "it feels like the first time but also...not the first time, you know? not just because i don't remember but like," he doesn't know how to say it, wetting his lips thoughtfully. your chapstick is cherry flavoured, his favourite. "like we've been doing this for longer than both of us even realise. longer than this life."
"i know," you nod. "i know."
x
x
x
after a while, you forgot about jungkook's amnesia altogether. even though the chances of him making a full recovery were slim, it all felt so normal and back to routine, all the kissing and the cuddling and the playing with eunmi. there was almost no room for trepidation anymore. until now.
you moan into jungkook's mouth when he pulls you onto his thighs, big hands palming your ass when you grind into him. he's only mildly concerned that he'll cum in his pants at this rate but he doesn't fret too much: that was secondary to undressing you and touching you and pleasing you and making you scream as loud as he could make you without waking the baby. he has nearly three years of re-learning your body to catch up on and he's eager to start.
he's quickly reminded during this process that you are a master. you know exactly where to kiss him, exactly how much pressure to kneed into his cock with your hips, exactly how much tongue he wants in his mouth until he's whining and damp for you. of course you know his body like the back of your hand - your child wasn't conceived from thin air. it makes him all the more desperate to learn, almost antsy to get his mouth and hands on you until you're writhing and breathless beneath him.
you gasp when you feel his hand slip between your legs, rubbing his fingers over your shorts. you automatically rock your covered wetness into his touch, the long whimper you muffle into his neck sending jungkook soaring through the clouds with pride. you're so lost in the feeling, having missed it so much, you're barely able to squeak a stop! when he hooks his fingers inside the waistband of your panties.
his eyes shoot open. "what's wrong?"
"j-jungkook," you shuffle in his grip, feeling so embarrassed under his scrutiny you don't know where to look. "it's not that i want you to stop but. listen, just," you cling to his shoulders, shivering when his hands drag reassuringly up to your waist. "just remember that...i've had a kid, okay? i'm not gonna look like before."
he blinks. "i don't remember what you looked like before."
"no, i mean like," you lick your lips, tasting him there. "it's still something to keep in mind. i'm not gonna be as smooth and perky in places like all those idol girls you perform next to, so just-" he watches you fumble nervously in his lap, the growing disbelief making him blink. "don't expect too much okay? things might not look the way you imagine them to and i don't want you to feel-"
"stop," he cuts off, tugging you so you're seated over his erection again. the look jungkook pins you with is so intense you can feel your pulse thrum in your ears, the harsh rise and fall of his chest making him appear that much more passionate. "this body," he slips his hands up your top, palming your skin. "made my child. i take offence to it being spoken about with anything less than admiration, even by you."
"kook-ah," you say nervously, but still let him remove your pj top over your head before you laying you under him on the bed. you don't know why your eyes suddenly prick with tears when he traces over your stretch marks and discoloured skin with his smooth lips. "this kept my daughter warm," he kisses under your navel, sliding up to your heavy breasts. he kisses each darkened nipple, swollen from the baby's mouth. "these feed her." he rises further still, before planting his mouth on your forehead in a short peck. "and this raises her. so how can i be anything but proud to touch you?"
"jungkook, stop," you sniff, tears wetting your lashes. your eyes fall shut when he wipes them away with his thumb, lips ghosting over your cheeks and nose.
"what did i say about tip-toeing around me?" he whispers, forcing you to look him in the eye. only then do you see the tears there, all the ardour and respect he holds for you pooling in those brown depths. "i'm your husband. let me be your husband."
you kiss him before you can start crying again, letting him part your mouth and taste you long and hard before finally undressing himself and slipping your shorts off. this is all a first for him, and it's been so long since you've done this it's almost like a first for you too, frantic and messy and desperate to feel jungkook lodged inside you where he belongs. you know he must share the sentiment when he splits your thighs over the narrow of his hips, hooking them there while he gets a good look of his erection rubbing through your slick.
no wonder i knocked her up, jungkook muses faintly. i don't think i can ever stop doing this.
"jungkook, please," you run a hand through his hair, grinding against his cock in encouragement but he still won't take the plunge. instead, your voice reminds him of his initial objective, causing him to saunter down between your legs faster than you can process. he's licking into you before you can have a second thought about it, mouth falling open with a loud moan when he traces around your clit in firm circles.
he has your knees over his shoulders and his arms wound around your hips so you have nowhere to go, nothing to do but buck into his attentive mouth, jungkook's groans vibrating against you until you can barely keep yourself together - he's always enjoyed this as much as you have. which is why he takes his time, explores every crevice and subsequent response, relishing in the gush of wetness when he does something right. he even goes as far as holding his tongue stagnant against your folds so you have no choice but to rub yourself into him for friction, so entranced he is by your invigorating reactions. only when you're squirming and whimpering with deliriousness does he finally give in and resume a steady pace over your swollen clit, two fingers sliding in home so you have something to come around. and you do.
messy and wet and shrieking into the pillow by your head so that you're muffled enough to not wake the baby down the hall, your orgasm drawing out longer than normal as you do your best to ride it out. jungkook carries you through it, gulping down as much of your arousal as he can manage until your hips finally drop back into the bed in post-climax exhaustion. on the contrary, the only reason he stops lapping at you is because you tug him away by the hair, bringing him up to you and between your legs again before he can do anything about it.
he splutters with a moan at the sudden contact of your wetness against his cock again, eyes fluttering shut and allowing you to bring him in, arms and legs winding securely around him so that you're flush against each other, hips rocking in tandem. jungkook is so caught up in the feeling - not the sex but the safety of being held, being connected like this - that you're the one to reach down and position his tip against your hot center, before finally running your hands down your husband's back to cup his ass and shove him into you.
jungkook gasps, breath shaking at how tight you are. you're so hot, so snug around him his eyes shut upon instinct, letting your hands guide his hips and showing him how to move in that perfect rolling motion that you're only familiar with after years of practice. and jungkook, of course, is a fast learner. it doesn't take long for him to take the reigns and fuck you just how you like it, adding in a sharp snap of his hips every now and again just to listen to you squeak in surprise. the wet sounds of your joined arousal coupled with you moaning under him is near cathartic, sending him hurtling to his finish line.
but before he can get there you shift him over, thick thighs helping you roll and pin him under you on the bed. jungkook grapples at your waist when you resume a slower but harder rock of your hips that has his length grinding against your clenching walls, his head thrown back at the intensity of it. you ride him through it, peppering the moles on his pretty neck with kisses and sucks, mouth finding his stiff little nipple to give it a swirl too. it's exactly what he needs to finish off, fingers digging into your flesh as he bucks wildly, filling you full of his seed while he calls your name. you slow to a stop when his hands finally fall limp on your thighs, his chest heaving under you and covered in sweat. you giggle. he always got so sweaty.
"you did so well, kookie," you whisper, kissing his damp neck and collar bones. his arms are suddenly around you again for comfort. "you were so good for me...always so good to me..."
"you," he croaks finally, eyes half lidded and a little delirious. "you didn't finish?"
you giggle at his genuine concern, pecking his wet lips. "i got mine, remember?"
"how many times?" jungkook is suddenly alert, tugging your wrist to get your attention before you can climb off him. his other hand is still around your middle so moving was out of the question until he allowed it. he was still inside you. "how many times do i usually make you come?"
you blink in embarrassment. you never really thought about it, let alone counted. "um...i don't know..." he waits for an answer, awfully serious about it. "a-at least two or three, i guess."
you yelp when he flips you back over, fingers immediately prying your cum soaked folds apart to nestle inside. "then don't act like we're done."
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suddencolds · 4 years ago
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different anon here but omg im so happy you made a kaeya/albedo drabble.. could you write up a pt 2 where kaeya catches his cold? doesnt have to be long, anything would do if youd be so kind
😭 anon... please, have mercy. Reversed roles are my absolute ~weakness~, so just this once, I am here to deliver a fic that I didn’t spend like 300 years writing. (Thanks for the excuse to write these two!!)
[part 1] 
—
A few days pass before he sees Kaeya again.
Albedo is only at the headquarters to ask Lisa if she has any books on the medicinal uses of Liyue specialties. The meeting is a coincidence, all things considered. Kaeya is leading a group of Knights—new recruits, Albedo thinks, because he’s pretty sure those are new faces—back into the main hall.
“Captain,” one of the recruits is saying. “I’m sorry about today. I’ll do better next time.”
“Struggling with training?” Kaeya asks. “I hope you weren’t hurt.”
“I wasn’t. I just
 I should have been able to dodge. Back up in Starfell Valley, when that hilichurl fired. It wasn’t hidden or anything, but I didn’t notice.”
Kaeya shakes his head. “It’s a lot to think about, right? That’s one of the tricky things about fighting with a close-range weapon. It’s not a bad thing to pay attention to whomever you’re clashing swords with. Just don’t forget to keep an eye out for enemies that are further out.”
“Got it,” the recruit says, solemn.
“Your swordsmanship has improved, though.” Kaeya adds, “I can tell you practiced. The new sword suits you.”
The recruit brightens visibly. “Thanks a lot, Captain.”
It’s not surprising, really—Kaeya has a strange talent for saying the right thing at the right time. He’s patient, too, and good at strategizing; all things considered, Albedo can’t think of someone more qualified to be training the Knights.
But Albedo isn’t here to watch. It just looks like their group is about to adjourn, and he figures he should really thank Kaeya for his help a few days ago—Kaeya is a fast learner, and an even better conversation partner. Had it not been for him, Albedo knows he would’ve been up on Dragonspine for much longer.
Currently, Kaeya is turning to address the entire group. He still hasn’t noticed Albedo’s presence, it seems.
“Great work today,” He says, then launches into a speech about strategy. It’s not a notable incident—or, it shouldn’t be—except the more he talks, the more Albedo can tell how tired he is. It’s subtle. It’s Kaeya—of course it’s subtle. But his posture looks deceptively casual—really, it looks like it’s taking all of his energy to keep himself presentable—and mid-speech, he’s actually stifling a yawn. His voice sounds slightly off, too, perhaps from overuse.
They’re all busy, Albedo knows. But he feels guilty nonetheless. He knows it had been Kaeya’s decision to help him, but still—perhaps it hadn’t been the best choice, seeing how much he still has to do.
“Captain Kaeya,” one of the other recruits interjects, after Kaeya finishes his speech. Most of the other Knights have already started to leave. “If you are free later, could I stay late to train with you today?”
And Kaeya—
—Kaeya, for some reason, hesitates. He shuts his eyes for just a second, as if he’s at war with himself, before he opens them again. This time, his smile is a little less effortless, a little more strained. “Of course. I need to get some paperwork filled out first, but I’ll meet you after.”
“Alright, thanks! I’ll wait for you outside?”
“Sure. I won’t be long.”
The recruit—oblivious to the fact that something’s wrong—turns to head towards the exit. Kaeya sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose, his eyebrows furrowed. He really looks exhausted.
Albedo wants to call out to him. He’ll say thanks, and then he’ll get out of Kaeya’s way. But then Kaeya starts off towards Jean’s office—to pick up paperwork, presumably—and stops halfway down the hall, tensing, one hand hovering over his face—
“hiiH
 hiiH’ESSCH’ew!”
It sounds
 rough, and tired, as if he’s been doing that all day. He sniffles, shivering, and continues walking, and Albedo knows.
He feels bad immediately. Kaeya had been kind enough to help out—of course he had, he’s selfless like that—even though he must have been busy. Meanwhile, Albedo hadn’t thought to tell him to sit further away, hadn’t been careful enough about not touching what he’d touched, hadn’t stepped away when Kaeya had insisted on walking back with him, hadn’t protested when Kaeya had lent him his scarf for the walk back through Dragonspine’s freezing weather

...All things considered, this is most certainly Albedo’s fault.
—
“I got it, Jean,” Kaeya says, taking the pile of paperwork from her desk.
“Take it easy,” she says. “You should go straight home after this.”
Kaeya smiles tiredly at her. “Oh? I thought you didn’t want me slacking off. I can do more today, really.”
Jean rolls her eyes. “You look like you’re about to fall asleep standing. Please, for the love of Barbatos, get some rest.”
Kaeya can’t say he feels very differently than Jean says he looks. Still, even if Jean won’t ask him to stick around, the new recruits will—he likes them, but they’re still new to combat, which makes things harder on him. In between scouting domains, looking out for the younger knights, and trying to cover for the mistakes they make, perhaps he’s pushed himself just a bit.
“It’s just a cold,” he says, turning as far away from her as possible to cough into his elbow. “No one’s ever taken off work for a cold.”
“For now it is,” Jean says. “I don’t want it to turn into something worse because you won’t rest.”
“It won’t. It’s just paperwork, right? I could do that in my sleep.” And one-on-one training with a recruit. And after that, another meeting with the Knights, and a domain East of here to scout out on his own, but Jean can find out about that later when she’s reading his reports.
It’s very unfortunate that he has to sneeze.
He takes another step away from her, lifting his hand to cover.
“hiIH’EESCH’-ew!” he winces. The sneeze is loud, and it sounds almost as miserable as he feels, which means it feels far too transparent. “Hiih
 hIIH
 snf
 hiiih’IiDDZScsh’ew! hIIIH’EZSCHh’-iu! ugh
 snf
”
“Bless you,” Jean says, sighing as she passes him the tissue box on her desk. He takes a generous handful of them and before handing it back. “You sound awful.”
Kaeya laughs, pocketing the tissues. “You never fail to flatter me, Acting Grandmaster.”
“Forgive me for being worried,” Jean says flatly. “At least tell me you’ll take care of yourself.” “Of course. When do I not?”
She gives him a significant look, which is fair.
He takes the chance to leave her office. His head hurts, more than it would if he’d just had a bit too much to drink, and it’s the kind of headache that he knows is going to get much, much worse if he doesn’t take it easy. Maybe if he rushes, he can get the paperwork done before then.
The recruit he’d spoken to is waiting for him outside, he recalls. He rubs his nose, shivering, and heads for the door.
Someone is waiting for him, but it’s not the person he expects.
Kaeya musters the energy to smile. “Albedo! Did you need something?” He probably shouldn’t be taking on additional responsibilities after Jean’s already told him to take him easy, but then again, this is Albedo—whatever he needs, it must be  worth staying late for.
“I just happened to be stopping by,” Albedo starts. “I, err, wanted to ask Lisa about my research.”
“I take it that you didn’t find what you needed?”
“I did.” “Is that so?” Kaeya says, faltering—if that’s the case, he’s not sure why Albedo is still here. “Were you waiting for me, then?”
It’s supposed to be a joke, except Albedo hesitates, and Kaeya feels bad for suggesting it.
“Actually, I was,” Albedo says, which is a surprise.
Kaeya’s breath has gone unsteady again, and he rubs his nose, sniffling. Albedo, who seems not to have noticed, keeps talking.
“I wanted to tell you—”
Kaeya doesn’t want to interrupt, but colds tend to make his sneezes so jarringly unavoidable. He turns away, lifting up a hand to shield his face. “Hiiih
 hiih’EESCHh’ew!” He gasps, and with a muffled sniffle, presses his hand closer to his face. “HIIH
 hiiIH’IIZSCHH-uu! hIIIH’NGKT-Sshew! snf
!”
—His shoulders untense as he finally lowers his hand, fishing through his pocket for tissues. How embarrassing, he thinks, blowing his nose as softly as he can. He doesn’t exactly want to look over to Albedo to see the expression on his face—disgust, probably, or worse, pity—
“I’m sorry,” Albedo says instead.
Kaeya’s glance snaps upwards in surprise. “What?” “I was hoping you wouldn’t catch this,” he frowns, looking away. “I wasn’t careful enough. I did not intend for you to feel miserable because of me.”
What is that supposed to mean? “This isn’t because of you.”
“Captain,” Albedo starts, completely serious. “Whose cold do you think you have?”
Kaeya blinks. It’s true—he’s probably caught this from Albedo, given that he can’t think of anyone else who’s been sick lately—but that doesn’t mean that Albedo should feel guilty over it. “Colds spread. It happens, it’s not your fault.”
“I should have been more careful,” Albedo shakes his head dejectedly. “Or perhaps I should not have accepted your help at all when you offered to stay. I knew you must have had a lot of work. It was selfish of me.”
“I told you, I wanted to help,” Kaeya insists.
Albedo sighs. “You are selfless to the extent that it is detrimental sometimes.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I sent the recruit home, by the way. Really, you couldn’t have told him to wait a couple days?”
“He asked for my help.” Kaeya holds a hand up, veering away again. “I wasn’t going to deny him just because of
 a
 hiIH
 c-cold
 HIIih’EESSCHh’ew! HIIIH’GKTt!-shew!” His head throbs in protest, and he sniffles, tilting his head upwards, a fresh tissue in hand, in ticklish anticipation. “hiIIH
 hiIIH’IIIZZSCH’ew!”
It takes everything in him not to slump against the wall.
“Bless you,” Albedo says. “You sound—”
“—awful?” He lowers the tissue with a laugh. “I know. Jean informed me.”
“I was going to say tired,” Albedo says, shifting forward to feel Kaeya’s forehead. His hand shifts to Kaeya’s cheek, studying him with a look of such intense concentration, Kaeya tries not to smile. “I don’t think you have a fever, but you’re warm. Allow me to walk you home?”
As enticing as the offer sounds, he shouldn’t. Everyone else is working hard—he knows if he does less work than usual, it will be Jean and Amber picking up the slack, which is the last thing he wants. “I still have lots to do.”
“It can wait until you’re well. The Knights will survive if you take a day off.” Albedo drops his hand, but he’s still looking at Kaeya with the same intensity. “I will talk to Jean, if it’s an issue.”
“Please don’t talk to Jean,” Kaeya says sheepishly. He’s sure she wouldn’t exactly be thrilled to find out about his plans to stay and work late.
Albedo raises an eyebrow. “Will you listen to me, then?”
Maybe it’s not such a bad idea, after all—he can head home, sleep this headache away, and come back in the evening. “Well,” he starts. “If
 hiIIH
 hiiIH’ESSCH’ew! snf-! If you insist
”
“I do.”
“...I guess I could head home early.”
It’s worth it, for the way Albedo smiles softly in response. He looks... relieved, Kaeya realizes, which is strange, too—he hadn’t expected Albedo to be so worried about him.
Kaeya starts off in the direction of his house. It’s not a long walk from the headquarters—certainly closer than the manor was, back when he’d lived there. Admittedly, it’s lonelier sometimes, living on his own.
Unexpectedly, Albedo follows him.
“You’re really walking me back,” Kaeya says, slightly disbelieving.
“Yes,” Albedo says. “Would you prefer if I didn’t?”
“It’s nice.” Kaeya sniffles, stifling a cough into a raised hand. “I hope you’re not just doing this because you feel bad about this.”
Albedo hums. “I’m not. I am quite free this afternoon, thanks to your help. I do feel bad, though.”
“Doing alchemy with you was the most exciting part of my week,” Kaeya says honestly, flashing him a grin. “I’d say it was worth catching a cold over.”
Albedo stares back at him. Then he smiles back, so brightly that Kaeya feels warmer, just looking at him. “You could come visit more often, then. I enjoy having company if it’s you.”
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ggukkiedae · 4 years ago
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Hi honey I hope you’re doing well đŸ„°
Could you write a scenario in which the maknaes become jealous of Enhypen’s Ni-Ki because Seri and Ni-Ki collaborated together on the New Year Eve Live concert so she doesn’t pay attention to their younger brothers ?
im actually doing decent, thank you đŸ„° this is perfect bc i was planning for seri to have a collab stage in terms of dance (bc she did a vocal stage with yoonmi) so yayyyy! also please forgive me, im not to familiar with ni-ki aksjdhfh
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“So you kinda have to use your legs to activate your hands before stretching them out... Yeah, like that! It looks great, noona!”
Seri grinned at the younger boy’s praise. She was in the practice room with Ni-ki while going over their collaboration stage. Though she was struggling a bit to follow through with what the choreographer showed them three sessions ago, Ni-ki had been helping her through it all.
“Should we go through it one more time before calling it a day?”
“I’m way ahead of you.”
She pressed play and quickly got into position. Their next run went by quickly without much mistakes, but she noted some parts where she could shift her limbs a little to look less awkward.
“Thanks, Ni-ki,” she handed him a water bottle. “I’m sorry you have to dim down your skills to do this stage with me.”
The younger’s eyes widened as he rapidly shook his head. “No, I like this, noona! And you’re a really good dancer, just not confident.”
“You know what? You’re being sweet, so I’ll treat you to lunch before you practice with your members.”
“You’re an angel sent from above.”
“Don’t act like you didn’t pay yesterday.”
The two of them quickly gathered their things before heading out of the practice room. Taehyun caught them as they were putting on their masks and getting ready to leave.
“Oh, noona,” he smiled, “hi, Ni-ki. Noona, Kai and I were gonna go watch a few Youtube videos while eating before practice. Wanna join us?”
“Ni-ki and I are buying lunch, but later when I get back, okay, Tyun?” She patted his cheek and led Ni-ki out the door.
Taehyun could only wave with a tight-lipped smile while Ni-ki abruptly waved. His head hung low once the doors closed. With a sigh, he turned back towards their practice room.
“Did you get noona?” Kai asked his fellow maknae the moment the older walked into the room. Upon seeing Taehyun shake his head, the younger sighed.
“This whole week,” he sprawled himself across the floor, “I haven’t gotten to spend lunch with Seri noona this whole week.”
“None of us have,” Taehyun frowned. “I mean, it’s nice that she’s getting along well with Ni-ki because it would make their collab stage a lot nicer if they had good chemistry, but she never took that much time to practice with Miya.”
The two 02 liners were frustrated. It’s not that they were frustrated with the Enhypen maknae himself. Not at all. Seri usually ate lunch with one of the two boys, even back before she graduated high school, so they were quite upset about not being able to see her.
Taehyun and Kai, both disappointed at having missed the chance to spend time with their noona, turned to the laptop in the room and began watching what they had planned in silence.
Meanwhile, Seri chatted animatedly about who knows what while leading Ni-ki to a cafe nearby that she hasn’t taken him to yet.
“Noona, is Taehyun hyung okay?”
“Why wouldn’t he be?” Seri asked.
“Well,” the younger boy scratched the back of his neck, “he looked a little upset a while ago when we were heading out. I think he wanted to eat with you.”
Seri, despite not being able to show it through her mask, gave a fond smile. She knew that her maknaes were feeling somewhat upset, which is why she decided to bring Ni-ki to this specific cafe. They had this specific chocolate bread that Kai loved and a pasta dish that usually made Taehyun excited whenever she comes back to the dorm with it. To make up for the past week of missing out on lunch, she was planning on buying those for them. That didn’t mean she couldn’t take her hoobae group’s maknae out to eat at the same time, though.
“He’ll be fine,” Seri reassured the younger. “I’ve got something in mind for him and Hyuka. For now though, let’s head on in. There’s this drink that I think you might like.”
Soon enough, just fifteen minutes later, Seri was making her way into the TXT practice room. She had dropped Ni-ki off at the Enhypen practice room with the agreement of just eating takeout to not risk being exposed to any sickness outside. When she entered her own practice room, though, she was met by the cold silence of the two 02 liners. She shook her head fondly at them while removing her coat and spraying alcohol all over it.
“You two having fun?”
“You wouldn’t know.” Kai’s grumble was so low that she almost didn’t hear it.
Taehyun, on the other hand, chose not to look at her when he spoke. “How was lunch?”
“I don’t know,” she laughed at Taehyun’s slightly hostile way of asking. “I was thinking we could talk about lunch together, you know?”
She put the two fairly large paper bags in front of them, the familiar logo catching their attention. The two boys sat up straight and watched as Seri set the containers of food down in between them, as well as the drinks she had bought.
“I thought you were having lunch with Ni-ki again.” Taehyun’s eyes widened when he saw her grabbing three sets of forks out of the bag instead of two.
“I said we were buying lunch,” she poked Taehyun’s cheek. “Listening skills, Tyun.”
Taehyun’s cheeks reddened a little at his misunderstanding while Kai hit the older’s leg.
“But weren’t you going to eat with Ni-ki?”
“Heesung would’ve fought me if I took his maknae from him again,” she laughed. “Besides, I have my maknaes practically craving my attention.”
She pinched their cheeks, in turn making them frown at her. Taehyun lightly pulled her hand away from his face while Kai swatted it away.
“No we aren’t.”
“You guys are clingy, you know that? But don’t ever change that.”
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garrothromeave · 4 years ago
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the hell is mystreet season 6??
(warning, long post ahead)
ok so before i start this
1) ive never posted shiiiit on tumblr before so watch me suffer, im just here to talk about stuff that my friends who dont know anything about aphmau have to listen to me rant about for hours on end
2) i havent seen mystreet in like years (except season 3, i watch that frequently since im laurance and shadow knight deprived) so please bear with me because i might be completely wrong on this lol. it’s just like, pointing out things i remember
3) im sure someones already talked about this but who cares
4) im gonna do this stupid thing where i just explain myself a bit at first, if you dont want to read that just skip to the part where you see “the actual thingy:” in bold and italics 
5) mild disclaimer; i am completely aware that jessica is not a professional writer. i know that she did her best to appeal to her fans, and honestly, respect for that. while this post will come off as aggressive and probably look like hate, that’s not my intention in the slightest. it’s just... intense criticism. im sure y’all probably already know that, but yeah, just stating that anyways. i do believe that jess is doing her best, and in no way do i want to dismiss any hard work she’s done. that being said; prepare for a very strongly opinionated post.
haha watch there be 10000+ typos in this making me look like a complete dumbass
ok here we go 
one of the main reasons i stopped watching aphmau back in 2017 was the mess that was season 4. like, in the first few episodes of the emerald secret, i thought “woah!! this is kinda cool, im a sucker for mystery!” because of course i was, it was something new and something exciting. the only problem i had with it at the time was kim, but that’s just because i always found her annoying and out of place. i just didn’t understand why garroth dragged her along and honestly i still don’t to this day BUT, moving on.
anyways, as the season progressed, 13 year old me was of course just “:0!!” the entire time--that is, up until the reveal of the main villain. i remember watching the episode, seeing the reveal of ein, and then stopping. like, just for a quick break, but i was still just overwhelmingly disappointed. like, and this was the time when pdh was airing and ein just got made alpha (i think?) and i had really really liked eins character in pdh. either way, that really sucked and actually opened my eyes to a lot of things.
one of the main things bein’ the fact that this was supposed to be a slice of life kinda series that decided to take a turn to a more edgy kinda approach. which, i guess i regularly wouldnt mind? but seeing as mcd was kinda bein neglected at the time it just didnt sit right with me. BUT WHATEVER, point is i stopped watching mystreet all together at the end of season 4.
like, a whole year later my brother tells me that shit’s getting intense in season 5 + 6 of mystreet, and my brilliant self decided to give it a shot--but i refused to watch all of season 5, so i only stepped in when ein made an appearance. so whenever that was, that’s where i picked up because i didnt care enough to see 
and y’know--i honestly didn’t hate it at first. in fact, i found it oddly cool. it wasn’t enough to get me into aphmau again, but it was enough to where i was intrigued. i dont know why, but i never watched the finale, so i didnt see the ending until just a few weeks ago--but back then, i thought it was neat. looking back on it however... im just so confused. 
side note: only got back into aphmau this time around because of mcd. mainly because like, i adore the first season and the first half of the second season. and being nearly 18 now, im a lot more appreciative of plot and well-written characters n junk. 
the actual thingy:
ok back on track. imma stop spilling out my story of how i got back into aphmau, and lets just skip to what rewatching mcd made me realize of season 6â€Čs plot and shit:
-emmalyn. how the fuck does ghost even remotely exist? if she’s emmalyn as claimed, then why have we already seen emmalyn in the mystreet universe alive? look i get that creators can do whatever they want with their stories but at the same time please provide some sort of explanation good god. and maybe they did and i just havent seen it, so if there is one--let me know. but until that day imma just sit here confused as fuck
-ok so imma just be real, the whole ‘ultima’ thing is just... not great. in my opinion, anyways. like... i saw someone mention this in another post, but if this ultima stuff was like, a really big deal, why isnt it mentioned in mcd? though i suppose since its a curse of sorts, it could be later on past the time period in which mcd takes place--but even then, how did it manage to make its way into aaron’s family bloodline? 
-WHY IS EVERYONE AT STARLIGHT ITS JUST SO CONVINIENT like what happened to this place being the most expensive shit on the planet or whatever, and how the gang happens to run into like, the werewolf trio and blaze and kai and guy and nate all of these people like god damn life doesnt WORK LIKE THAT 
-im sorry but turning people into relics? thats... thats the best you could come up with? plus, like, how does that even work? in mcd it’s established that relics are separate entitles that choose their wielder, based on a ‘personal’ connection (being a descendent of a previous wielder) or if they’re a good match personality and (i think?) moral wise. so the whole turning-people-into-relics doesnt make much sense to be honest. 
-irene really over here using her god powers to only keep her friends alive like god damn not a great god if you ask me 
-can i talk about how incredibly predictable aphmaus death was? like i just kinda sat there waiting for it to happen and when it did i literally went “haha! wonder when she’ll be revived” because god forbid we actually kill off characters 
-when aphmau + demon warlock fought in the irene dimension there was no passage of time whatsoever in the real world whiiiiiiiiich really bothers me because they fought in there for at least a few minutes
-speaking of aphmau and the demon warlocks fight does it bother anyone else that it had to be aaron who took over the fight?? like we get it hes the big protector blah blah blah but god damn it wouldve been cooler if aphmau had fought this battle as her. aaron fighting this battle was so underwhelming
-...love. like, thats the only thing thats needed to break out of a forever potion? love? LIKE YEAH, GOOD GUYS GOTTA WIN SOMEHOW, but its just so cliche and overdoneeee
-oh yeah and also when travis went bonkers and became the demon warlock or whatever, why’d he only take over katelyn and garroth?? like, zane had been influenced by the potions in the past as well? DONT GET ME WRONG--i do love some good brother edge, but uh, the demon warlock was just bein kinda a dumbass by not possessing zane too just sayin’
-can aaron please go to fucking jail for mass murder now like holy shit, he just got sent home on a fuckin boat. also why did blaze forgive him for killing him thats not even remotely realistic. then again, nothing in mystreet has ever been realistic when it comes to characters and motives and personalities, (cough katelyn being actually abusive and travis being an actual pervert) but yknow whatever
-katelyn and kawaii chan literally added nothing to the plot whatsoever. like lets be real, katelyn lost her personality the moment season 5 started and kawaii chan just kinda sits there :I
-ok im sorry this was bound to come up but cmon guys imagine laurances potential if he was in season 6 like god damn this is beyond maddening. AND YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A REALLY REALLY COOL PARRALLEL?? IF IT WAS LAURANCE WHO SNAPPED GARROTH OUT OF HIS MIND CONTROL THING, because it would mimic laurance’s speech to get garroth to snap out of his rage in season 1, episode 100 of minecraft diaries. like how fuckin rad would that have been? missed opportunity 
-also?? why does kim/ghost know magicks?? like, if i remember correctly, emmalyn is a scholar--not someone who knew magicks. i mean, i guess research? study?? but its been established that knowing how magicks works =/= being able to use magicks. i dunno, just doesnt seem right i guess. maybe its explained, i wouldnt know (yes i know that makes me look like a dick leave me alone)
-melissa should have stayed dead. LIKE, NO, ITS NOT AS SIMPLE AS “haha it takes more than a few bullets to kill me”??? look ive got nothing wrong with melissa (cough lie cough) but yknow it would have just been cool a character... stay dead? for once? its just too fuckin cliche that shes alive god damn
-can i also just say the only good thing that came out of season 6 was travis’ dads sacrifice like damn that made me actually sad
-howww was lucinda turned into a relic. or yknow, anyone else? like im sure they explain it better in the actual show i just dont remember, but its just that easy? turning anyone into a relic? granted, a normal person wouldnt be able to produce a good relic, but idk man. IM JUST SAYING; that the only really powerful relics that aphmau should have been able to wield is the one that aaron + zane produced because shad relic and esmund relic moment. lucinda isnt even like, connected to a divine warrior. ALSO, another point, if its seriously that powerful of a relic getting one from just a magic user like lucinda, why go through the trouble? i mean i guess ofc youd want the “all powerful” one that the ultima produces but i mean damn whats the point
-ok this is just going to bother me but in one of the episodes (i think might have been in season 5 actually) where that like, guardian dude was chasing aphmau and zane and at one point they split up and the dude just chuckles at zane diverting paths and goes under his breath “youre not the important one here”, suggesting that aphmau somehow is? first of all, id argue that any ro’meave is significantly more important than aphmau was, especially not knowing much about her other than that shes with aaron. i might be missing some bits an pieces, but if i was that dude id forget about aphmau and go after zane 
-killing off derek for shock factor sucked, and i know the moment was supposed to be really sad because like “oh :( aarons dad is sacrificing himself for his son” but lets be real dereks still was a shitty father and i dont think his reasons for doing what he did was very good at all
-less about plot or more like: why the absolute fuck did the gang bring kim along instead of, oh i dont know, a life-long friend? like, laurance or dante maybe?? im sure its explained, i never saw aphmaus year or most of season 5, but god DAMN id hate to be apart of this friend group AND GOD LIKE, imagine reconnecting with an old friend who ends up getting closer to your best friends and taking priority in their lives over you (cough laurance) like god damn lol
-im just going to preface this one with: i dont remember everything that’s happened, so if im wrong i apologize in advance--but (you actually can correct me if im wrong and please do) didnt like, irene reincarnate her friends in order to give them better lives? I DONT KNOW IF THIS IS TRUE, ITS JUST WHAT I REMEMBER--however, if im correct, then:
a. why the hell would she bring back someone like zane, or gene, or ivy, etc.
b. why the hell do they all have the same exact names? first and last? again, im aware that the whole mystreet+mcd tie wasn’t originally supposed to be there, but i dont think that means such a coincidence can be excused? its just a bit much if you ask me.
c. why the hell is the fact that (as much as i literally hate this) aaron is a decedent of shad being ignored? like, you’d think that something like this would be something thats actually important, or something the demon warlock couldve taken advantage of. or are we completely erasing every other connections to divine warriors besides aphmau + irene? because even if irene did reincarnate them or do whatever it is she did, does she even have the power to sever the connections between them and their ancestors? my guess is, no.
d. speaking of irene why on earth was aphmau able to talk to/see irene, they’re literally the same person are they not? did she like, fuckin reincarnate herself without actually doing it?? BUT--i will give it to them, the demon warlock did refer to aphmau as something along the lines of being “one of the 3 parts of her broken soul” or something like that. however, my point still remains. also what are the other two did i miss that or is it never explained
now; if irene in fact did not ‘reincarnate’ her friends then please ignore that little bit right there :)
but yes, those are a few of the problems i have with season 6 off the top of my head. i would go into like, season 4 and 5 more as well, but i honestly didnt feel like it. at some point i might go into other things, like how important laurance could have been to the plot of these later seasons, or HELL, even dante. i might also go into what could have made season 4, 5, and 6 actually good--maybe... a rewrite? perhaps? but im getting too far ahead of myself, so i just leave you with this for now.
and i know that as soon as i post this 15 more things are just going to pop into my head BUT im going to try and not edit this post because why stress myself with that even more
anyways thank you for coming to my tedtalk 
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chilligyu · 4 years ago
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info: im jaebum/reader, teen+, strangers to lovers au genre: soft angst, romance | word ct: 5.1k warnings: suggestive themes summary: for years, jaebum tried to forget the woman who broke his heart. little did he know that she wasn’t so easily forgotten, and that her face would haunt him at every turn. note: so I started this three years ago after listening to got7â€Čs face for the first time and I’ve been editing it and forgetting it ever since. lol maybe someone will enjoy it
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“Jaebum, I’m sorry.”
Okay.
“I really am.”
Okay.
“Please understand—”
Okay.
“Jae? Don’t just stand there.”
Okay.
“Please—please say something!”
Like what?
Jaebum didn’t know what she expected him to say, not after that. After she ripped out his heart.
“I don’t love you anymore, Jaebum. I’m sorry.”
She just stood there in the doorway, bag in hand, waiting for his response with tears in her eyes. He knew she was trying to stay strong, he could see her lip trembling as she held it between her teeth. How long would she wait there? How long would she bat her eyelashes at him innocently waiting for him to make it all okay? What did she even want from him? Forgiveness? Reassurance? Did she think that somehow an apology would make their breakup hurt any less?
“Goodbye, Seohyun.” He forced out through clenched teeth. “Thanks for everything.”
“Wait—Jaebum—!”
Closing the door on both her and their three year relationship, Jaebum couldn’t remember what he did next. He couldn’t remember clawing every photograph off the walls, he couldn’t remember how his fingers stung as they dug into the plaster. He couldn’t recall pulling every plate from their cabinets, he couldn’t recall how his feet bled when he stepped on the broken porcelain. He couldn’t recollect how much he hated the man who stared at him in the mirror, he couldn’t recollect how his fist destroyed the glass and how it finally reflected how he felt inside.
“I don’t love you anymore, Jaebum. I’m sorry.”
That was over a year ago. And it felt like an eternity to him. Looking at himself now, suit neatly pressed, shoes freshly shined, he didn’t see any semblance of the man from that night. After he destroyed everything that reminded him of her, as he saw the pictures of happier times reduced to embers in the fireplace, he made himself a promise. He swore that he would never let anyone ruin him so completely ever again. Steeling his heart and caging it in ice, he wouldn’t even give them the chance.
Never again.
“Jae?” Jinyoung inquired, knuckles rasping against Jaebum’s door. “We’re heading out for drinks, want to come with?”
He didn’t even look up from the reports he was filing. “Can’t. I’m busy.”
Jinyoung crossed his arms. “Shocker. You’re always busy.”
“That comes with being the boss.” Jaebum countered easily.
Rolling his eyes, Jinyoung leaned against the doorframe. “C’mon, Jae, just pretend you’re a regular guy and not an office robot for a couple of hours. Would it hurt to have a little fun?”
“Maybe. Socializing is against my programming.” Jaebum teased in a robot voice. “I cannot acquiesce to your request.”
“Dammit Jae.” Jinyoung sighed in disbelief. “Your humor is wasted in this tiny little room. Go out with us. Free yourself from the confines of this dastardly place. One night with the guys isn’t going to kill you. And if it does, I’ll buy lunch for a week. Scouts honor.”
Jaebum snickered quietly. “Alright, if it gets you to shut up I’ll go out for a couple of hours.”
“And do a couple of shots?” Jinyoung pressed hopefully.
“Don’t push your luck, Jin.” Jaebum chastised him, leering over his glasses. “I’ll have a glass of wine and that’s it.”
“I’ll take it.” Jinyoung shrugged. “We’re leaving in ten minutes. You want to catch a ride with me?”
Pursing his lips, Jaebum shook his head. “I’ve got to turn these in before I go. I’ll meet you there if you text me the address.”
Jinyoung narrowed his eyes at his friend suspiciously. “I swear to God, Jae, if you flake on us I’m going to come back here and kick your sorry ass.”
“Like you could take me.” Jaebum smirked. “Just go, I’ll be there soon. Promise.”
Jinyoung didn’t relent, his head dragging as he headed towards his own office. “I’ve got my eyes on you, Im Jaebum. You’re not going to fool me.”
“I’m not trying to fool you.” Jaebum informed him. “But if you keep bothering me I’m going to magically find a stack of financial statements that need to be filed. And who better to file them than my good buddy Park Jinyoung—”
“See you there!” Jinyoung interrupted, dashing down the hall like his heels were on fire. “I’ll text you!”
Chuckling at the expense of his friend, Jaebum leaned back in his chair and tapped his pen against his leg. He couldn’t remember the last time he went out just to go out. It had been too long since he was desperate for the numbing sensation of alcohol pulsing through his veins to simply function normally. The last time he could remember drinking he couldn’t recall anything that happened after. Not until he woke up in some woman’s bed that he didn’t bother to learn the name of. He wanted to feel bad, or at least some part of him did. Because she wasn’t the first, and she most certainly wouldn’t be the last.
Not tonight. He decided. Not this time.
When his phone lit up, a text message from Jinyoung waiting for him impatiently, Jaebum quickly got to work. As much as he tried to keep his stoic face in front of his friend, he needed to get out of the office. If he had to read another poorly written report littered with inaccuracies and spelling errors, he was going to lose his mind. Jinyoung’s offer could not have come soon enough.
By the time he was done, the sun was already starting to set. Cursing underneath his breath, Jaebum grabbed his coat and bolted out the door. Opting to take the stairs instead of waiting for the elevator, he checked the bus schedule while tugging on his gloves. Jinyoung had already been at the bar much longer than he’d like, meaning that Jaebum wasn’t going to get out of the night unscathed. Lucky for him he was always prepared for such occasions. The bottle of aspirin in his desk drawer and him were about to be fast friends.
“Jae!” Jinyoung screamed through the phone. “Where are you!”
Jaebum groaned loudly as he made it out to the street. “I’m sorry, I’m still at the office. But I’m leaving now, I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
“You better be!” Jinyoung continued. “Because I’ll—I’ll kick your ass if you’re not!”
“Shut up Jinyoung, you’re drunk.” He muttered, ending the call and stuffing his phone in his pocket.
Wrapping his scarf around his neck, Jaebum walked briskly to the bus station just down the block. Instantly regretting turning down Jinyoung’s offer for a ride when the cold winter air pelted his skin. Opening his eyes even the slightest caused his eyes to water, each step he took sent a chill down his spine, frost nipped at the tips of his ears, he could barely stand it.
As he waited less than patiently, Jaebum found himself watching the people that passed him. An elderly woman wearing a mismatched set of mittens, a small dog in a boorish sweater jogging along beside her. Two school boys fussing over a handheld video game, laughing jovially despite their harsh words. A young couple walking hand in hand, their eyes filled with affection and warmth, leaving Jaebum with a foul taste in his mouth.
“I don’t love you anymore, Jaebum. I’m sorry.”
Lighting a cigarette, he did his best not to think about Seohyun. About how she left him on a night just like this. How each kiss on her eager lips tasted like lies. How her brown eyes hollowed out his very soul. And how each promise she made cut him like knives. Jaebum had been trying to erase her from his life for a whole year. But no matter how much he drank, or how many women he kissed, he could still taste her on his tongue.
Even cigarettes do nothing to mask her taste. He mused, inhaling deeply and savoring the tobacco that filled his lungs.
When the bus pulled up to the curb, Jaebum dropped his unfinished cigarette in the street. Sighing, he tapped his foot impatiently as the doors opened and people spilled out onto the sidewalk. He had completely forgotten how cramped public transport could get during the winter. Another reason why he hated the desolate season. And Jinyoung’s persistent drunken text messages and calls weren’t helping his rapidly souring mood.
“What is it now, Jinyoung?” Jaebum exasperated, getting on the bus and swiping his card.
“Do you know that fish cake shop by the bar?” Jinyoung asked sluggishly. “The one that I really really like?”
Jaebum pinched the bridge of his nose as he found a seat at the back of the bus. “No, I do not. But I take it you want me to stop there?”
“Yeeeesss.” He dragged out. “I’m dying for a good fish cake.”
Sometimes I wonder how we’re friends. “Alright, fine, I’ll get you your stupid fish cake. How far away from the bar is the shop?”
“Not far at all!” Jinyoung exclaimed. “Just down the street a ways, you can’t miss it! Thanks Jae! You’re the best!”
Beep beep beep.
Pocketing his phone, Jaebum did his best not to let the night get away from him. He had to keep reminding himself that all of his problems could easily be solved with the bottle of scotch that was waiting at the bar. Jinyoung owed him, and getting free drinks out of him while he was drunk was an easy task for Jaebum. All of that was worth the annoying errands that his best friend was infamous for sending him on.
There’s a scotch on the rocks waiting for you. He told himself over and over again. Do it for the scotch. Scotch can get you through anything.
“Now approaching, Namdaemun Market. Thank you for choosing Seoul Public Transportation, have a nice day.”
As the bus rolled to a complete stop, Jaebum quickly stood and waited for the doors to open. Shouldering past the new borders, he apologized quietly, thankful to finally be off the cramped bus and back out on the street. Even if it was a bit colder than he remembered. Shivering, he pulled his lapel taught over his face, scanning his surroundings for the fish cake shop he was supposed to visit. What he found instead was a ghost from his past. A ghost with hair as black as the hole she gouged into his chest.
Seohyun? He swallowed nervously, his palms sweating despite the brisk December air. Is it really her? Please—please tell me that I’m seeing things.
It had to be her, he knew it deep down inside. He knew by the way his heart stopped, how his stomach sank, that it couldn’t be anyone else. But—his mind wasn’t so easily convinced. How could it be her? How could Lee Seohyun be standing right in front of him? Just as beautiful as the day she ripped out his heart without a care in the world. Waiting outside an electronics kiosk, a lollipop stick protruding from her perfect cherry red lips and a guitar slung over her shoulder as if—
A guitar? Jaebum questioned. Since when does Seohyun know how to—
Realization dawned on Jaebum almost instantly. His eyes were playing tricks on him, like they had so many times before. It wasn’t Seohyun, it would never be Seohyun. No matter how much a small miniscule part of him still wanted her back in his arms, she never would be his. The woman before him was simply his projection of something he would never have. Underneath his breath, Jaebum cursed himself for being hung up on her after all this time.
Still, his gaze didn’t waver as he watched the Seohyun look alike walk down the street. The resemblance was uncanny, had he been intoxicated he would’ve surely mistaken her for Seohyun. She even walked like her. The way her hips swayed—Jaebum couldn’t bring himself to look away. She was beautiful, breathtaking, mysterious, entrancing, the same dangerous formula that Jaebum became addicted to so easily.
For a brief moment, he couldn’t find the differences between them. From the way her dark hair fell languidly over her shoulders, the way her lips twitched into a hesitant smile, how her eyes glistened with a palpable passion. It was almost as if he was looking at a direct reflection of a memory. One he would’ve preferred to remain lost to time.
I need to get to this fish cake shop. Jaebum reminded himself. More importantly, I need to get the hell out of here.
Gathering his runaway thoughts, he started down the busy street, doing his best to avoid the mysterious woman. She was a reminder that he couldn’t afford to fall back into the hole that Seohyun cast him into. The man that loved Seohyun wasn’t one that Jaebum admired. In fact, he was a man that Jaebum tried time and time again to erase. And, until that exact moment, he thought he was doing a fair job of it.
“Get your fish cakes here! Best around!”
Jaebum’s ears perked up at the shouting vendor, appreciating the distraction more than he cared to admit. Besides, his head was in a complete haze ever since he spotted that woman. He wouldn’t have been able to find the shop on his own even if he ran right into the door. Which he practically did. The control Seohyun still had over him terrified him to no end. And he had only seen a woman who looked like her, it wasn’t even her. He shuttered to imagine what would’ve happened if she was really there. Whispering in his ear, her hands gliding up his body, the curves of her body beneath him—
“Jaebum
”
Squeezing his eyes shut, Jaebum willed her husky voice away. The shivers that travelled down his spine—he had to ignore them. He had to get away from her. Ducking into the shop, he quickly purchased the fish cakes and left without a word to the clerk. He feared his own voice, feared how it would betray him. The only thing that mattered to him was getting to the bar and as far away from her as possible.
Without really paying attention to where he was going, Jaebum shouldered past someone and sent them stumbling backwards. Unconsciously, he reached out to steady them, taking hold of their wrist and pulling them in close to him before realizing who it was. It was her. Her. Her slender wrists were within his grasp, her dark eyes looked up at him in surprise, and coherent thought evaded him.
“Thanks!” She exhaled, running a hand through her hair. “I really should look where I’m going.”
At that close distance she looked even more like Seohyun. Jaebum didn’t think it was physically possible, but the proof was right in front of him. The scent of her perfume filled his senses, taking him back to a time when her fragrance was the only thing between them. He tried to swallow past the lump in his throat, he tried to respond, he tried to say anything that could distract himself from her lips. Her perfectly shaped cherry red lips

Brushing her hair over her shoulder, she offered him a dangerous look. “Not much of a talker, are you?”
Jaebum never made it to the bar that night.
He woke up the next morning tangled in sheets that weren’t his own. Lying beside him was the woman who unknowingly unravelled every effort he had made to forget about Seohyun. She made him painfully aware that his previous beliefs were nothing more than optimistic delusions. Jaebum hadn’t moved past her, not even in the slightest. He wasn’t sure if he ever would.
As was customary after every one night stand he stumbled into, he quickly pulled his clothes back on and quietly left her apartment without bothering to wake her. He called for a taxi, pointedly ignoring all of the angry texts and numerous voicemails left by Jinyoung as he made his way home. Jaebum wasn’t in the mood to explain himself. Ironically enough, all he wanted to do was drink. He settled for a silent ride through the city that was supposed to save him from himself, but he was beyond saving.
Days passed and he couldn’t shake the memory of Seohyun’s lookalike beneath him. She was a rarity, an anomaly that wandered into his life without any sort of warning. And as easily as she traipsed through his thoughts, she was gone. Frankly that was his own fault, he did it for his own good but it didn’t matter to him. He wanted her, he wanted more, his body ached for her in a way that was all too familiar. He sat at his desk, fists clenched in rage, hating himself for falling back into his old ways. All he wanted was a life without Seohyun, he wasn’t sure it was possible anymore.
At first, he was determined to stay away from her. He willed his thoughts and memories to the back of his mind, trying to get on with his life once more. But it wasn’t so simple. He found himself back on that street corner without realizing how he got there just a few nights later. Diligently looking for the cherry red lips that stained his own and drove him wild.
He would always find his way back to her.
“Did you miss me?”
She came up beside him with a coy smirk, she already knew his answer.
“Still not much of a talker, are you?”
Soon after they would wind up in bed again, as it was slowly becoming their routine. Jaebum had never felt more connected to a complete stranger, someone who could’ve easily gone through life without ever meeting him. He had Seohyun back, in some way. Like a ghost from the past letting him have one last glance at what could’ve been. He could’ve been happy, he was happy. Now he didn’t know what he was. All he knew was her because that was all he wanted to know. And he wanted to know more. 
On the first day he learned her lips, on the second day he learned her name.
On the third day she learned his.
“Jae...” She breathed beneath him, desperate for him as he was for her. “Please
”
He loved how she said his name. It pained him that he couldn’t say hers.
“Jae.” She tested on her tongue. “You called me Seohyun again.”
He watched absentmindedly as her delicate fingers dusted over his skin, offering nothing more than a quiet, “Sorry.”
“It’s okay.” She mused. “I just need to know, someone you’re running from or running to?”
“I don’t love you anymore, Jaebum. I’m sorry.”
“Both.”
She visibly winced at his honesty. “Well, I hope I can help with that a little.”
And she did. Her lips pressed against his jaw as her hand slid down his abdomen, he hissed in response and took her in his arms. She was—magic. The second his mind would be occupied by thoughts of Seohyun she would pull him in with her own hypnotic gaze, letting him forget about the woman that brought them together in the first place. It didn’t last for long, but the reprieve was appreciated nevertheless.
On the fourth day he called her Seohyun again. The fifth day was the same.
On the sixth day he said her name and she smiled.
He lost track of the days after that.
The moment their relationship stopped being casual and became something more wasn’t entirely obvious to Jaebum. One day he simply woke up and instead of hoping to see her again soon he decided that soon wasn’t enough. They started to see each other every single day, some of those days didn’t end up in bed either. Maybe that’s when he noticed that she was more to him than he originally intended. Maybe that’s when he knew he was doomed to be in love with Seohyun for the rest of his life. Forever seeking her out in the woman he had hoped would make him forget.
One morning when she was gathering her things, giving Jaebum the space he had so foolishly convinced himself he needed, he asked her to stay. So she stayed. He couldn’t ever remember things with Seohyun being so simple. Seohyun was a woman that made Jaebum fight for every inch, beg for every moment, he was addicted to her and didn’t realize how quickly she was killing him. While he didn’t want to admit it, the moment she left him was probably the kindest thing she had ever done.
But she was perfect and he still loved her.
He hated himself, as he spent more time with her and could only see Seohyun in her eyes, he hated himself. He had hoped that they would separate, that he would see her for her and not for the woman he hated and loved all at once. Because she was perfect just as Seohyun was, all he had to do was wait for the inevitable. Either he would get fed up with her or she would realize the truth. She would learn that she was a replacement for someone that wasn’t worth replacing. Someone he evidently couldn’t let go.
“You look like you have a lot on your mind.” She whispered, dusting her fingers over his arm. “Do you want to talk about it?”
What hurt him most, was that she loved him. She loved him. Not some version of him that only existed as a ghost in her mind, as a lie she couldn’t give up. She loved him for exactly who he was. A man who looked at her and saw another, who reached for her everyday, who was haunted by a touch that was forever ingrained in his skin. He was disgusted by the man she loved, by himself. But if he ever told her the truth, he knew it would break her heart.
Break her like Seohyun destroyed him.
And then she would be gone.
So he would continue to lie to her, betray her no matter how much his own words tore him up inside. A sensation that was all too familiar, one he knew better than most after knowing Seohyun for as long as he did. Ironically, he was just like her. Selfish to the very end. 
“I’m alright.” He lied easily as always.
Except she wasn’t convinced, not in the slightest. She had never been convinced of his lies, he could tell just by looking at her that she was enduring his facade as much as he was. Pretending to be fooled so they could continue in blissful ignorance. Because she knew his heart better than even he did, a heart that had long since been locked away. Because she loved him despite everything that he was. And everything that he wasn’t.
It was close to their anniversary when he decided that enough was enough. She had introduced him to her friends, her parents, and he had done the same. Their lives had become intertwined to a point that severing their ties could only result in a catastrophic mess. He had to come clean, he had to put his heart at ease and end the nightmare he almost believed was a dream. He had to let Seohyun go, he had to let her go. Once and for all he had to free himself from her grasp and break a heart that belonged to a woman whose only mistake was running into a man in a fish cake shop.
“I don’t love you anymore, Jaebum. I’m sorry.”
His heart ached as he thought about that day, hated how much his own actions would soon imitate that very moment. Looking at someone who loved you with everything that they had and telling them that it was all over. That you never loved them. That everything was a lie. That you were nothing but a monster.
God I need a drink.
So to put a bit of distance between them, to gather his thoughts, he went to the bar that technically started it all. He ordered his usual drink, he pretended to watch a game that didn’t interest him, and he sat in silence as the moments ticked by. Every now and again the bartender would try to strike up a conversation, but after being ignored for the fifth time he finally gave up. Jaebum wasn’t in the mood to pretend to be a decent human being, it was taking every concerted effort he could afford to keep himself from falling apart at the seams.
And despite the fact that he had been sitting at the bar with two fingers of scotch in front of him for nearly an hour, he had yet to take a single sip. He kept swirling it in his hand instead, using it more as a distraction from his rampant thoughts than a means to soothe his agitated nerves. As much as he wanted to get the whole ordeal over with, he couldn’t get drunk. He had been selfish enough in the past year, he had to endure the next few hours sober because she deserved more than what she was given. She deserved more respect than he had ever offered her. And he deserved the misery he was destined for.
Once a couple of hours had passed, he decided it was time to face her. She would be starting dinner soon and he didn’t want her to waste her time. Not when he was going to be effectively kicking her out of his life forever. With a sigh, he put on his jacket to leave and pushed his untouched drink back towards the bartender. Then, a young woman took a seat beside him.
“Why don’t you let me join you for a drink?” She hummed seductively. “You’re looking a little stressed.”
 For fucks sake. “Thanks, but no thanks.” He returned without looking at her. “I’ve got better things to do.”
Apparently she wasn’t giving up so easily. “Is that anyway to talk to a pretty girl like me?”
Glancing at her, he wasn’t impressed. “Sorry, but I have somewhere I need to be. Drink by yourself if you’re so inclined.”
As he stood to leave, she took a firm grasp of his arm. “Jaebum? Are you seriously going to ignore me? Are you really that cruel?”
He rolled his eyes at her continued pathetic attempts. “You even learned my name, wow. How long have you been watching me?”
Turning back to look at her, he realized there was something familiar about her. Something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. But that didn’t matter to him.
“Seriously, I’m not on the market.” He persisted. “Good day.”
“Jaebum!” She shouted in disbelief. “Do you seriously not recognize me? We dated for three fucking years, I feel like I’m owed more than a cold shoulder. Or are you the complete asshole you’ve always been?”
A chill ran down his spine.
“Don’t just stand there!”
No
 it—it can’t be
 that voice... 
“Say something!”
Seohyun?
Realization dawned on him, stomach acid rose in his throat. It had to be her, there wasn’t a doubt in his mind after hearing her say that. Those words, nearly those exact words were seared into his soul ages ago. That voice berated him for years. There was no way he would ever mistake that voice for anyone else. But—she didn’t look like the Seohyun he remembered. The mere sight of her didn’t drive him mad, he didn’t have to fight back the urge to throw himself at her feet. She was Seohyun without the best and the worst parts of her.
She wasn’t the woman he loved.
Not anymore.
“Wow
” He exhaled with a smile. “You’ve really changed, haven’t you.”
Which, now that the initial shock had worn off, he realized that she was the exact same. Painfully so. Her nails were freshly manicured, her hair and makeup were set perfectly in place, her clothes were fresh off the runway, she was Seohyun in every sense of the word. Perfectly plucked from time and placed in front of him. She was everything he thought he loved. Before he learned what love really looked like. And god it didn’t look like her.
“And you haven’t changed at all.” She huffed. “Still the rude asshole I dumped forever ago. I can’t believe I doubted myself for a second there, spotting you across the bar made it seem like the good old times. But I really made the right call, didn’t I?”
He couldn’t help but laugh. “You really did. Goodbye, Seohyun. Thanks for everything.”
She scoffed as he left. “Yeah, whatever.”
After that, Jaebum didn’t hesitate. He took off running for the bus stop, desperate to get home to a woman that he had loved for a whole year and just didn’t know it. He had been so sure that the love he felt for her was just a projection, that she only reminded him of Seohyun so that was the only reason he loved her. Never in all his life had he been happier to be wrong.
I love her
 He chanted in his head, over and over again. I love her!
Once he got home, he burst through the door and stopped immediately when he saw her standing there. How had he never noticed before? She was beautiful, she was perfect, she was the woman he loved with his whole heart and he was a fool for not knowing sooner. She made him laugh, she made him smile, she made him forget about Seohyun a hundred times and even wiped her from his heart forever. And he was the idiot who thought it was all a lie.
“What’s wrong, Jaebum?” She asked innocently. “Is something on your mind?”
“Yes.” He confirmed easily, approaching her slowly and taking her hands in his. “I’ve done a lot of thinking, a lot of soul searching this past year, trying to make sense of my feelings for you. And I think I finally know what my brain has been telling me since the very beginning.”
There was a nervous glint to her eyes, but she played along. “What would that be?”
“That I love you.” He smiled. “I love you for being you and no one else.”
Those words, those simple words that wouldn’t make any sense to someone else, made her face light up like a fireworks display. She wrapped her arms around him and buried her face into his chest, overwhelmed with a feeling he knew all too well. For the first time in four years, Jaebum could breathe. A huge weight had lifted from his shoulders, the ghost of Seohyun was finally gone. He was free.
“I love you too
” She mumbled. “I’ve loved you for so long
”
“I know.” He whispered gently, tilting her chin up and kissing her gently. “And I will thank you everyday for waiting for me.”
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nice-kill-tanaka · 4 years ago
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If it's not to much trouble may i have a (male) host club matchup please. Im a Capricorn, my mbti type is infj-a/infj-a. I tend to be shy around new people but I can be somewhat loud around people who Im close to. My pronouns are she/her. I have long-ish length brown hair, green eyes, wear round glasses and have pale skin. I have a lot of freckles. My height is 5'0 I like to read books and also cook and bake food. Im not very athletic and im not a big fan if sports but I love to go roller/ice skating. I also have been playing the violin for 6 years. And I like to garden. I also like to watch nature/animal documentaries. I love animals and in planning on becoming a wildlife veterinarian. Some things I dislike are people who bend/ruin my books and people who talk over me when I try to speak. I hope this is ok, sorry if I spelt anything wrong. I hope im not bothering you :) also I hope the information I sent in is ok :)
[🌄 @armin-ocean-eyes​ requested one (1) regular Ouran High School Host Club matchup. I have just the ingredients for that! Sit tight while I get to work.🌌]
Taurus INTJ-t here đŸ˜—âœŒïžSo,,,,hi I guess! Also, since you are two (2) inches shorter than me, I am legally obligated to adopt and protect you. I apologize if I use gender neutral pronouns for you. That’s just my default!
Anyways, I have just the guy for you:
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🌓Kaoru Hitachiin🌓
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(Please tell me this is Kaoru, gifs are stupid 😭😭😭)
đŸŒ±Humble BeginningsđŸŒ±
You are the daughter of the C.E.O. of a successful publishing agency
You were no stranger to the wealthy lifestyle. But, your parents made it a point to not let you become vain, lazy, or unsympathetic to the human condition
I’m not too sure if there’s an actual term for this, but a thing I like to call “right-brained intellectualism" was emphasized in your household. Basically, the ability to classify complex human emotions and not only understand them. But, view them through the lenses of objectivity and abstract concepts (Hence, the “right-brained” part)
The goal was to instill curiosity in you to explore how different personalities act in different situations and why. This could ultimately help you guide your social interactions in the future
(Forgive me if I'm speaking over your head! This information serves a purpose I promise!)
So, essentially super-charged EQ
But, here's where it comes in handy:
Due to your reserved tendencies, you weren't that high on Ouran's social ladder. Especially in middle school. You tried your best not to pay that fact any mind, reminding yourself to always pack an extra novel in case you finished your current one during the day
But, the (sort of) benefit to having so much time on your own, was that you had plenty of time to observe the students around you. Their actions, quirks, and relationships
Two particular oddballs caught your eye
Brothers. Identical twins that seemed to want no company than that of each other
You knew they had names. You knew what they were. But, not being able to pin a name to an identical face made that fact lose meaning
They didn't have any friends (Which wasn't a hyperbole). But, neither of them seemed shy, like you were
Rather, they were the asocial types. And you saw secondhand that they went out of their way to keep their little world for only them
You had accidentally seen one day what they did to girls that dared to confess their feelings for one twin. And that only reaffirmed that trying to figure out why the Hitachiins acted the way they did was too much pressure for your meek little heart
But...still.
There weren't any surface level answers to reach for that could calm your curiosities (Other than just passing the Hitachiins off as jerks and moving on). You could tell their reasoning was much more complex
And that. Frustrated you
To ease your mind, you wanted to start off small: Learn which is Hikaru, and which is Kaoru
One day, just before the lunch period started, you had finished your current novel. But, when you reached for the extra book in your bag, it had ✹vanished✹
You panicked a bit. You knew you packed the book. You re-checked earlier in the day!
The teacher unfortunately noticed you looking around like a lost puppy, asking what was wrong
"Mm?? Oh- uh...I just lost my book. It's, y'know, it's fine! I'll just...look for it later..."
The teacher didn't pick up on how embarrassed you were, asking the class if someone wanted to help you look
You were surprised when someone actually raised their hand
And just your luck, it was one of the twins, who turned to his brother and reassured him that they'd see each other at lunch
You (lowkey paralyzed by fear) followed the Hitachiin's lead, waiting until the rest of the class had left the room to begin your search
But, as you started to sift through the shelves in the back, you felt the boy tap your shoulder
And there it was in his hand, the first edition book on botany you had gotten for your birthday not too long ago
"You...you found it already??"
He rubbed the back of his neck, more bashful than you would've pegged him for
"Kind of
? I took it during class. I thought your reaction would be funny, but it was sort of just hard to look at. It would've just been cruel to embarrass you more in front of everyone."
"Oh...well, thanks for telling me at least."
The boy raised an eyebrow, your reactions catching him off guard once more
"You're not mad?"
"Not really. You realized your mistake and that's more than some can say. So, I can forgive that."
"Hm...well, I should get going. I can't keep him waiting!"
Before he left, you called out to him, asking for his name
"Hm? Kaoru."
🌳Flourishing Love🌳
The start of you and Kaoru's romantic relationship actually began in high school
The (in)famously idealistic Tamaki Suoh had approached you, Hikaru, and Kaoru to be a part of his new "host club". The twins as a part of the service, you as the manager (To garner male financial support, of course :D)
Since you weren't involved in a club anyway, you agreed to join next semester for your first year of high school
Once Haruhi came into the picture, you became fast friends. Seeing as you were both practical souls, if not intellectual
Through your friendship with Haruhi, you got closer to the twins you were so afraid of all that time ago
Especially Kaoru, the twin you had spoken to first
Both of your crushes formed rather fast as you got to know each other personally (And since Hikaru was already starting to take interest in Haruhi)
Kaoru had fallen for the way you never made face-value judgements of people. Like how you were so understanding about his dumb prank on you just last year
He learned to love the bright rays of passion that shone through your timid exterior. The way you talked about the things you loved like they were the greatest things in the world. You always made your case with such conviction, and Kaoru couldn't help but believe you all the way
You, Haruhi, Hikaru, and Kaoru were hanging out in the courtyard one day, and Kaoru had managed to get you to talk about the flora and fauna in the area (Which quickly segwayed into how you loved gardening and caring for animals)
All the while, Kaoru intently listened, staring at you like you were the only person in the world
During a pause in your avid canine classification spree, Kaoru picked up a few cornflowers that had fallen from a bush, putting them in your hair and behind your ear
While you were blushing up a storm, Kaoru bluntly, but sweetly, confessed
Hikaru and Haruhi looked on, endeared that the two sweetest souls in their little group had finally gotten together
In your relationship, you manage to draw out the more relaxed and mature side of Kaoru's personality
(Though, you always get a good laugh out of his more cunning and mischievous side)
You always affirm to him that he can enjoy both sides of being a twin, and being his own unique person. He doesn't necessarily have to choose
Kaoru definitely takes advantage of your height difference, using you as an armrest at the most inopportune times
He loves to kiss each and every one of your freckles (At least, on your face and neck). No matter what you think of them, he sees them as little targets to go for when he wants to shower you with love
But, like a respectful boy, he always lets you take off your glasses first if you need to
You guys went ice skating for your first date! Since it was your hobby, you paid for skating, and Kaoru paid for food afterwards. Kaoru knew how to skate, but pretended not to so he could have an excuse to hold your hands
Kaoru found out about your violin training later in the relationship, immediately teasing you about playing for one of the host club's sessions at some point
He has undoubtedly picked up a disturbing amount of animal facts from you and the documentaries you watch. He shares them with the host club to get disgusted reactions from them, and flattered smiles from you 😊
Y'all are just so freaking cute together, I need to chug salt to get the sweetness out of my mouth ❀
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[🌌 There you go bud! That’s one matchup for the road. Hopefully it lasts for a while, but if it doesn’t, feel free to come back! I’d be thrilled to see you again.🌄] —Reagan
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snakeboistan · 4 years ago
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHIOTA NAGISA
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Thank you, Nagisa, for showing me that being kind and gentle doesn’t mean that you’re weak and also that the parts about you that you hate can be turned into your greatest weapon. You have been a role model for me for the past four years and I strive to be as wise and caring as you. Keep doing what you’re doing, you adorable little assassin, we’re all so very proud of you. 😍😊
Yes, I know that Nagisa’s birthday is during Summer break but shhhhh
(25 unread messages) 
Akabane Karma: Hey there Nagi :) HAPPY BIRTHDAY BLUEBERRY! I can’t believe you are officially older than me. But don’t get your hopes up, just because you’re my elder, doesn’t mean that I will start listening to you. Just to show you how awesome I am, I decided to stay up late so that I can text you exactly at 00:00. But for real, I hope you have an awesome day and I promise to beat up anyone that ruins it for you ;) Nagisa, you are honestly the most amazing person I’ve ever met and you’re seriously like such a sweet and kind and honest and good person and I have no idea how someone as nice and forgiving as you ended up befriending someone as crazy and violent as me. You’re the only person who's never been scared of me and even though you hate violence you still stood by me and never tried to change me and you liked me for me. No one’s ever liked me without expecting me to change and I’ve never felt as comfortable being myself with someone as I have with you. Can’t wait to see you at school today - I got you a present. No I won’t tell you what it is and yes, you’ll definitely love it. See you soon.
Sugino Tomohito: Happy Birthday Nagisa! Hope that you have fun today! I just want to tell you that you are the best best friend that I could ever ask for and I am truly grateful for everything that you have done for me. When I first got kicked down to 3-E and was forced to leave the baseball club, I thought that it was all over but you came along and was the first person to actually sit down and listen to me and you offered to practice baseball with me and honestly, that really made my day. Dude, you are like this amazing blue ball of kindness and like seriously you are brilliant but you don’t nearly give yourself enough credit. I don’t know where you get your low self esteem from or what it is that makes you think that you are worth so little but I promise to remind you that you are cared for every single day until your next birthday and for the rest of your life. Okay, that probably sounded super weird but it’s early and my brain is like 60% baseball memes at this point. At first I hated losing my baseball friends and getting sent to this abandoned building on top of a death mountain but meeting you has made me realise that our crazy assassination classroomℱ is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. From the day I’ve met you, you’ve been nothing but loyal and caring. You are the person I can talk and rant to and you’ll never judge me and you always know how to make you smile. And honestly, you are worth 1000 baseball teams. Don’t let your mother get you down. See you in class! Oh, BTW, my little brother says Hi.
Kayano Kaede: HIIIIII NAGISA! HOPE YOU HAVE A HAPPY BIRTHDAY FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART! I got you a gift and I hope you like it and no it’s not pudding but you will be getting some cake from that cafe we visited over the weekend. It’s not easy being the new girl and ever since I’ve joined the class, you’ve been nothing but an awesome best friend and you have always been by my side since the day we decided to have matching hairstyles (which might I say looks so much better on you than it does on me - UNFAIR!) I hope the rest of the year is filled with pudding and happiness and sweets and smiles and everything else you love 
Nakamura Rio: Happy birthday to our resident blueberry cinnamon roll! Have a wonderful day ‘Gisa. I’m sure you will when you see what I have in store for you ;). You are seriously the most mature, innocent, pure little bean I have ever met - and definitely the most fun person to play pranks on! Dont worry, as the birthday boy, you shall spend 24 hours completely prank free. Yes, yes I know, I’m the best classmate ever. Dont need to tell me something I already know, sweetie. See you later, my fellow English lover!
Maehara Hiroto: Yo, dude, Happy Birthday! Hope you have fun and enjoy what we’ve got in store for you (no hints!). Like seriously you are legit the most awesome person ever cause you’re so sweet and innocent and can turn into this super awesome secret badass whenever you want to. Youre like the class therapist/medic/person we can always rely on and you never complain when we drive you crazy (cause I know that we do). I’m super proud of you man. Never change Nagisa. See you at school. (BTW - We still up for karaoke next week?)
Isogai Yuuma: Happy birthday Nagisa! Hope you have a wonderful day! I can’t wait to see you in class later. When my siblings found out that it was your birthday, they insisted that they make you a card.You are an irreplaceable member of our class and I’m so happy that you are part of it. Seriously, if it wasn’t for you and your ability to calm people down and talk people out of doing whatever crazy idea they came up with, I’m pretty sure I would’ve lost my mind. You’re always smiling and always participate in class without complaining and you always see the best in everyone. Keep on doing what you do Nagisa, the world could use more people like you. ( Oh and come to the cafe later, I got an iced bun on the house for you)
Fuwa Yuzuki: AAAAAHHHHH HAPPY BIRTHDAY NAGISA! CONGRATULATIONS ON SUCCESSFULLY SURVIVING THIS LONG ON EARTH! OOHH IM SUPER EXCITED FOR YOU TO SEE WHAT I’VE GOT YOU! Thank you for always going along with and listening to my crazy anime/manga rants even when you have no idea whats going on. It’s so much fun hanging out with you cause youre chill and youre always up for anything and apart from Takabayshi you’re the person in the class that get my references the most. Youre an amazing main protagonist and you deserve all of the screentime and lines you get - heck even your own spin-off show. For someone who loves heroes so much, youre doing an amazing job of being one yourself. Youre the best Watson a Sherlock like me could ever ask for and a really good friend for this manga obsessed Otaku! Love you and see you later!
Kataoka Megu: Happy Birthday Nagisa. I hope that you enjoy the rest of the day. As someone whose job is to watch over our 
 interesting class, having you around makes everyone else bearable. I’m sure that if you aren’t here to keep the peace I would’ve murdered Okajima months ago. You have always been really respectful and kind and I appreciate having someone as hard-working and loyal as you in my class. I always enjoy having our talks about equal rights and you have always been like a little brother to me (honestly, I prefer you over my actual older brother). See you later and please continue to stay the way you are.
Okano Hinata: Hey there Nagisa. Happy Birthday! How’s it going, little dude! Hope you enjoy yourself and have lots of fun today. Thank you for being one of the only boys that I can actually stand. You are such an amazing person to have in the class and you’re amazing at being someone that we can all come to when we’re upset. Plus you let us brush your amazing godly hair (seriously I’m jealous at how nice it is). If any main campus kids try to ruin this special day - come to me and I’ll sort them right out :)
Kurahashi Hinano: HAPPY BIRTHDAY NAGISA! I HOPE YOU HAVE LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS OF FUN TODAY AND EVERY SINGLE DAY OF YOUR LIFE! CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOU SO THAT I CAN GIVE YOU YOUR PRESENT IN PERSON AND THE BIGGEST BIRTHDAY HUG EVER! YOU ARE AN AMAZING PERSON AND I (AND EVERYONE ELSE) LOVE YOU SOO MUCH OKAY I HAVE TO GO NOW BUT BYEEEE 
Kimura Masayoshi: Hey Nagisa! Happy Birthday! Can’t wait to see you at school! 
Mimura Kouki: Happy Birthday Nagisa :) wish you the best :)
Yada Touka: Happy Birthday Nagisa! I hope you have a fun-filled day! You are a really sweet and nice person and I enjoy hanging around with you - especially when you join us girls on our girl trips to the mall. You’re like a little brother to me and I always feel comfortable when I’m with you. Love you and hope you have a nice day <3
Takabayashi Koutarou: Happy Birthday Nagisa. I hope that you enjoy yourself.
Hayami Rinka: Happy Birthday Nagisa
Okajima Taiga: Happy Birthday Nagisa. You are such an incredible person to have in the class. And thank you for always saving me from the girls when they get mad at me. Hope you have fun. I was going to give you some really cool magazines but when the girls figured it out they slapped me and said that they’d tie me up in the middle of the mountain and leave me there if I did so I’m just gonna give you something else that I made (with Sugaya’s help). I’ll show you it at school - I hope you like it.
Kanzaki Yukiko: Happy Birthday Nagisa. I hope you have a nice day and thank you for being such a good and reliable friend. See you at school.
Yoshida Taisei: Happy Birthday Nagisa! I’m so sorry for the grenade incident earlier and I am so happy Koro-Sensei saved you. Also like you are one tough guy, you know that right? Cause what happened with Takaoka, man you couldve beaten any of us up with your eyes closed any time. Stay awesome dude. See you at the mountain
Hara Sumire: Happy Birthday Nagisa. I’ve made some sushi just for you. I hope you like it. As your official unofficial mother, I hope you have fun today and I can’t wait to see you later. 
Sugaya Sosuke: Happy Birthday Nagisa. Thank you for being around and seeing the good in all of us even when we don’t see it ourselves. You always know how to inspire us and you are going to be an awesome grown up when you’re older. You always appreciate everyone and you know exactly how to pick us up when we’re down. I hope you like your present (you’ll get it later)
Okuda Manami: Happy Birthday Nagisa! I hope you have a wonderful day today. I just want to say thank you for being my friend and always encouraging me and helping me. You always know how to cheer me up and include me. See you at school.
Chiba Ryuunosuke: Happy Birthday Nagisa
Hazama Kirara: Happy Birthday fellow literature lover. I really enjoy talking about gothic literature with you - your analysis of themes and context is always very insightful and interesting and I enjoy spending time with you. If you ever need to escape, you can always come to me. PS - my offer to curse your mother is still up.
Muramatsu Takuya: Happy Birthday Nagisa. Hope you have fun. I made you some ramen (don’t worry its not my dad’s recipe so you’ll be good)
Terasaka Ryouma: Sup Shiota, Happy Birthday. I just want to say that I’m really sorry for being an a**hole and treating you like a jerk - especially forcing you to wear that grenade at the beginning of the year. You’re really good at assassination and you’ve got some serious moves. I dont really know what to say but you can always hang out with my gang whenever you want.
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