#and you need to hear about stuff you dislike as well as what you like

[distant--shadow]

Yeah, it's 100% an issue of question curation, not an issue with questions being asked. There's literally no way that you could know that without specifically seeking out questions that were submitted but not answered, but I guess some people are expecting you to be clairvoyant...

It's a shame because it's probably the only fireside chat Laura'll do for at least a year. I think the quesitons that get the most repeat submissions are always going to be the memey ones, which is why they really need a dedicated person to pick out the most interesting questions during fireside chats, otherwise we're just gonna keep getting shallow questions.

Also, I was just thinking the other day about how girlfailure is kinda like the new bimbo and it bothers me. Like, yeah, it means ditzy and klutzy and we can say it affectionately all we like, we're still kinda trivialising feminity. It's also a really clunky word that sounds bad to say. If you wanna talk more about it, I'd like to hear it

I feel you here, but as I keep tryna say I don't think it's 100% an issue on curation, because those silly questions had to be submitted in the first place, and the person curating them has to have some sort of belief or knowledge that it is what the audience wants to hear. I can take an argument for lightheartedness, but as I said, it's within the context of all of the grievances people have had with this campaign, I guess paired maybe with underlying concerns I could have about them tryna appeal to a certain crowd, and how that could effect the main campaign format eventually. I don't know the current time line for recording, so there's all chance that the latest episode was filmed an amount of time before the fireside chat, so that added to wanting to steer from too current questions as it would maybe spoil. but then again I say, the show didn't have to be this week. and you're very right, it is so frustrating because we have a lot less of a look behind the curtain with this campaign than we did c2, and yes they're so busy, but it's frustrating because we (or at least I) don't want any of the bells and whistles in this extra content. I'm not looking to fulfil a social need watching them hang out, I want to get a grasp of what is going on, or at least not have it replaced by the goofing.

of course part of why I was posting initially with pretty heavy words is because I was feeling pissed off about it, you wait a long time for something to come round and it just feels like the same information rehashed to you, or yeah as I said in other posts, it feels like an obvious infiltration of fandom and like you're getting pandered to. and hey, maybe that's the fault of this campaign, maybe the majority feel it's so lacking they'd rather say fuck it, I'd rather AU to everyone's face.

I'll say a little bit on the girl failure thing, because I am almost certain people have written good and thought out essays and pieces on this stuff, but what I will say is what my gut says. firstly, there has been a huge up tick in the use of girl by women in general in recent years, and as a simple quick note on that: I don't like it. it shows a denial of aging, a wish to not be associated with what is woman, as well as literally the word for a child. yes, I understand the complexities of a society where getting houses and a lot of these other classic age associated milestones are really hard if not impossible, and that language evolves and definitions change, but what a denial of the experiences you do get to have instead. there's a lot of freedoms we have that prior generations haven't. to go through all of that and still call other women girls is just. it's not it. I can understand an argument for preference, but as I said, to use it for others is infantilising. showing my age here, I'm sure, but it's the way girl has become like an identity vs woman. why are you so scared of being a woman? what is it about if that you dislike? how does that play into-

girlfailure, and people using it so casually for everything and it becoming a meme.

language is important. and I shoudlnt be allowed to say that because I haven't proof read a post in my life and I've got a sieve brain from years of drug use. but the language you use plants seeds. when you make jokes and belittle yourself, do you know what kind of people see that and think, huh, well if they're saying it it's fine for me to say it too, and who goes on to repeat it the loudest? how, genuinely, I genuinely believe this, yknow, you watch those videos and read those pieces on how people basically become fascists without realising, from the wildest paths. that it's often a long chain of events. behaviour starts somewhere. and yeah, this is a huge dumbing down and simplification of that and I'm sure a lot of people will argue I'm being delusional and dramatique', but associating a negative trait with a gender or a sex or a race or ability, making it a meme, using that meme, even if it's initially only used by the people it applies to, it gets co-opted by those it doesn't, and in time is used as ammunition against them. do I think that every person saying girlfailure or girlmath is using it with vicious intent? no. but I'm old enough to have grown up with changing vocabulary and words that are derogatory and thought of as totally fine to use in every day language and were in reality dehumanising and or belittling the people they were used against. basically? girlfailure gives me the ick. sure, girlfail all over yourself if you have to. don't use it for other women. don't put it out there.

it's never made sense for me for Imogen. yeah, she's a goof at times, but her failures are literally dice rolls, why is no one else a girlfailure? she's been rediculously perceptive (lol not visually) so many fucking times. what do you mean all you've wanted is for Imogen to be a girlfailure? you want her to flunk everything she attempts? doesn't seem to line up with the Imogen I very much enjoy seeing and people claim is what they love to see.

finally, and this might be huge news to some people, I can think girlfailure is a shitty term and propagating misogyny, and that doesn't take away from how much of my concerns are focused in areas that need more attention, doesn't mean it's all I care about. as I'm always saying, change happens locally, within communities. change starts with small actions as well as big ones. language is important. if you don't see how small things play into the big things then I'm sorry, the world isn't that simple. dehumanising and the like starts at micro levels. and before u know it it's law.

[medicinemane]

Mhh mhh, no that very much does appeal to my political biases, that sounds like news I'd really like to hear... sadly you seem totally fucking insufferable and I'm going to have to beat youtube to death if they ever recommend you to me again cause I'm telling them not to

[luveline]

can we possibly get the one where Gideon doesn’t like bombshell reader and poor Spencer is watching like☹️

Spencer feels a little like a child of divorce. Like, he absolutely is a child of divorce, but he didn’t think he’d feel this way at work. Lately, all Hotch and Gideon do is argue. 

It’s especially odd in that Hotch doesn’t usually go against Gideon’s judgement, even when he doesn’t agree, but you seem to be something Hotch is willing to fight for, and Spencer has no idea why.

“We don’t need her,” Gideon says. Spencer knows it isn’t Gideon being cruel, just stern. “We have a fine team without her.” 

“But with her, we’re better. And we have an opening. I know you like Greenaway for it, and I do too–”

“Everyone likes Greenaway for the position, she’s more palatable than L/N, and she works harder.”

Spencer tries not to whip his face back and forth like he’s following a ping pong ball, but it’s hard to keep up. He has no idea what his mentor’s talking about in all honesty, you’d seemed more than palatable when you met him last week. You were nice. And barely anybody is nice to Spencer. 

You sounded like you actually wanted to hear him talk, something Gideon has often been alone in. And palatable is a subjective word. 

“That’s not necessarily true,” Hotch says, knowing he’s losing. 

“We’re not gonna rush into picking someone,” Gideon says, less stern, more neutral. 

“No. I have invited her to the Georgia consultation this afternoon.” 

Gideon sighs through his nose. The afternoon rolls around quickly. Spencer doesn’t want to think about it but he’s excited to see you, and he feels conflicted in that; Gideon is the first person in a long time who actually seems to care about him, so Spencer is guilty of always aiming to please, but he can’t understand why Gideon dislikes you so much. Am I being easily led? he wonders. 

He’ll admit to finding you attractive. In his head, that is. You’d spoken so particularly, you’d looked stunning, and you didn’t make a fuss when he wouldn’t shake your hand. You called him beautiful. 

It’s the nicest, kindest attention he’s had since he started. Morgan calls him pretty boy. Spencer knows it’s not the same thing. 

They gather in the conference room, Morgan, Hotch, Gideon and Spencer, just a few minutes before 2PM. A minute later, you’re knocking on the door. 

“Hello…” You smile when you realise they’re here. “Am I late?” 

“No, L/N. Come and take a seat,” Hotch says. 

There’s a plastering of documents on the table and an empty seat by both Morgan and Spencer. You choose the one beside Spencer despite a stack of manilla folders, tucking your chair in neatly. “Oh, the grizzly stuff. This will upset my feminine energy.” 

Morgan laughs. Gideon glares at the table. 

Spencer likes it when you’re around. One more person and suddenly the consultation is a conversation and not a debate. You can keep up with everyone. You laugh at Spencer occasionally and he doesn’t know why, but he can tell it isn’t cruel laughter; he’s had a long time to work out the difference. 

Gideon excuses himself for a coffee half an hour in. 

Hotch immediately leans across the table. “I’m trying to help you,” he says. 

You grimace. “What am I doing wrong now?” 

“The laughing.” 

“You laugh.” 

“I know.” Hotch smiles at you. “You’re getting good at this, you have good insight on the dark triad. You read the book I sent?” 

“How’s Haley?” you ask.

He shakes his head, but his smile stays. “Don’t joke about that.” 

You’re not flirting. Or, Spencer doesn’t think so. It’s more likely you’re joking as Hotch says, everything about your body language pointing to amicable friendliness besides your flirting tones. “I read the book,” you say. Your gaze turns to Spencer. “Bet you’ve read it too, huh? Morgan said you’ve read every book ever written.” 

“That’s an exaggeration,” Spencer says. 

“But close?” you ask. “I’d love some recommendations. You know. For profiling.” 

“Don’t let her fool you, Reid, she’s well read,” Morgan says. 

“Wait, Gideon doesn’t like you because you laugh?” Spencer asks. 

It’s a socially inept thing to say, he realises after. You lean back in your chair all sweet and soft with your legs crossed, your dark stockings thin at the knees. He’s so, so worried you’re going to be offended and that’s exactly what he needs, a possible friend isolated again by his inability to read the room, but you don’t chew him out. You nudge his leg gently with the toe of your heel. 

“Now who said he doesn’t like me, handsome?” you ask teasingly. 

Spencer regrets the heat that floods his face and neck. 

“It’s complicated,” you add, your smile more than friendly, Spencer can’t work it out. “But don’t worry, I’ll turn him around eventually. It’s one of my many talents.” 

Oh, he thinks. That’s what it is. Spencer’s finally in on the joke. 

[skiiyoomin]

HII!! Idk if your taking requests rn but if you still do,can you please do Bakugou having a emo gf?? I honestly don't know if you still write mha stuffs, so ignore this if you don't!! 🙏🙏

ღBakugou having an emo gf

ʚCont: Swearing, fem! reader

⤑Back to navigation

a/n hi!! idk if you wanted it to be texts or a oneshots or wtv so i went with headcanons!! and yess i still write for mha, my inbox is open if you get creative ;)) also, my conception of emo might but kinda stereotypical so i apologize in advance!!

Bakugou had an emo phase in middle school and you can NAWTTT change my mind. Now that he´s older and more mature, he´s become closeted about this phase of his. But trust, if he hears any type of emo music, he knows deep down in his soul that he´s jamming to that shit.

That is why, in terms of how aggressive he is with people, emos are at the bottom of the list, including you.

Of course, when you first walked into class he was still the abrasive person he is. Nevertheless, it was clear to anyone who had known him long enough, that he treated you with just a little more respect than he did with others.

You never understood it, but you never questioned it either. What little bit of peace there was with the blonde was to remain untouched and unshattered. That is until Mina whispered ideas into your head that Bakugou had a thing for you. At first, you tried to convince yourself that it was just Mina gossiping as always. But that didn´t mean you weren´t just the slightest bit more aware of Bakugous mannerisms towards you.

During his infatuated phase, though he would rather die than call it that, he had walked past your room only to stop abruptly when the muffled music reached his ears. The rythm of Panic! At The Disco was heard through your speakers, your melodic voice humming the lyrics. He´d be lying if he said he didn´t know the songs by heart. He did.

And despite his embarrassment of people having this knowledge, his gut told him you wouldn´t judge. Hence why he found himself knocking on your door.

"Bakugou? Do you need something?" You ask, not having expected the sudden visit.

Why did he come here again? His throat suddenly felt dry and his tongue heavy.

"I heard your music down the hallway, it´s too damn loud" Smooth Bakugou smooth.

"Oh. Is it? I´ll turn it down"

Just as you turn back around, he abruptly speaks.

"I like it" Well that sounded dumb "The group I mean. It used to be my favorite"

If you weren´t surprised before you sure are now. Yet you didn´t dislike it.

"Really?....Wanna come in to listen?"

The friendship stage was blurry to say the least. Neither of you knew whether you were treading a line between friends or lovers. But it felt right.

The respect he held for you from the beginning grew the more he learned about you. Between all the dumbasses and extras he was surrounded with, you seemed to be the one with the most refreshing mind. Your passions and views about the world amaze him to no end and he finds himself learning from you.

Of course, everyone else could see the palpable tension between you. It was clear as day yet neither of you made a move. It was infuriating and your dear classmates could only take so much before they intervened. Luckily, a small push was all that was needed for things to go smoothly.

They went with the classic plan. Making plans with friends only to end up ditching you and leaving you all alone with your now crush. Bakugou caught on quicker than you did. And while he wanted to strangle the idiots, he knew it was now or never, he had to stop chickening out.

"What are we?" He asks out of the blue while walking back to the dorms. He could feel your eyes on him, but he didn´t turn his head, too scared to look.

"What do you want us to be?" You counterask, your heart inevitably thumping in your chest.

"If I tell you will you still stay?" You can only muster a nod.

"I want us to stop dancing around our feelings. I want to take you out. On a real date"

With a grin, you lean close and place a kiss to his blossoming cheek. "I´ve been waiting for you to ask"

The relationship wasn´t all that different. Rather, it was more like an upgrade. He still does the things he does but now under the claim of being your boyfriend. And yes, he came out of the emo closet, though it was pretty transparent. Don´t tell him that though.

[indecisivemuch]

Cupids in Converses

Pairing: Luke Castellan x Reader

Summary: Valentine's was rolling up. You and Luke played Cupid on Percy and Annabeth. But what if playing matchmakers gave both you guys and your unspoken feelings the nudge that you guys have always needed? (Fluff, friends to lovers, happy ending)

Warning: sort of cliché, but it's Valentines so.

Note: Valentines got me in the mood of writing something rom-com-ish. Let's just assume Luke wears red converses that looks like Maia in the show. Also, I've been incredibly busy so I kinda rushed through this one to post it on time for Valentines.

Word count: 4.1k (whoops)

February has always filled the air with some sort of sugary chemical. Everything seemed sweeter like a pink filter had been put over the world. Some may dislike the upcoming February holiday, but it was perhaps one of your favorite times of the year. 

Why? You were somehow blessed with the skills of getting people together and nudging them just enough to cross the line they needed to. So far, you have managed to help six couples get together. With Valentine’s right around the corner, the urge to play cupid grew to the point it was itching your hands.

“Well, compared to the Chimera on Monday, Medusa on Sunday, could have been a lot worse,” Percy was quickly interrupted by Annabeth. 

“Medusa was Saturday.”

“I thought Sunday?”

“No monsters on Sunday. Monday, you died in a river.” You squint your eyes at the conversation that Percy and Annabeth were having. The familiar bells rang in your head; you could practically hear them roaring at you.

“Right, so Medusa on Saturday…” 

“Woah, guys, what’s this?” Luke interrupted. “When did you turn into an old married couple?” Percy and Annabeth both grew slightly flustered at the Hermes counselor’s words. Muttering a few things here and there, the two kids quickly excused themselves and walked off from you and Luke just to avoid the topic in general. You slowly turned towards Luke and peered up at him.

“Surely…” you spoke cryptically.

“Surely what?”

“Them!” you gestured to the direction that Percy and Annabeth had headed off to. You kicked a small rock with your Converse and watched it tumble away. “Surely we can give a little nudge?” you trailed off, bumping into Luke’s shoulder.

“You’re not seriously gonna play Cupid on them, right?”

“No, I’m not…because we are,” Luke let out a loud breath, hands on his hips as he peered down at you. However, you could see a glimmer of amusement in his eyes. 

“Sweet girl, I adore you, but why not let things run their course?” you hope he did not see the physical reaction over that nickname because, internally, your heart skipped a beat.

“Oh? And you’re telling me those six couples from before would have gotten together without me? You know I’m right about this kind of stuff. I can usually sense it. Besides, it’ll be fun, I promise.”

“What’s in it for me?”

“Uhm…you get to spend time with me?” you decided to answer, grinning up at Luke when he gave you a feigned unimpressed look. “Please, besides, you and Percy are close, so it would help a lot. I already have a plan and I need your help for it.”

One look into your eyes, and Luke knew he was doomed. For some reason, you just can make him do anything you ask. Luke could feel the hands on his hips slowly slipping as he looked into your eyes.

“Fine.”

Stage 1: Get Percy to realize his feelings cause he’s blind as hell

It was midnight and everybody else was asleep except for you and Luke. The two of you were in the kitchen, trying to be as quiet as possible.

The two of you were making some fortune cookies for your plan. However, there was a tiny twist to the treat you two were making. You had personally printed out a couple of prompts that you wrote yourself in hopes they would nudge Percy into realizing his feelings. 

“Really?’“Romance is in the air. What you’re looking for is right in front of you’?” Luke read out the small piece of paper that you printed. You pulled the cookies out of the oven when they were ready.

“It’s cliche and sort of obvious, but hey! It’ll work because it’s Percy I’m working with,” you quickly pulled the paper out of his hand to put it in the fortune cookie before folding it into shape and letting it cool down.

“Mhm. He’s gonna realize you’re trying to play cupid.”

“Are we talking about the same person? I doubt Percy would realize. Annabeth would, hence why I’m not trying this on her.”

Luke helped you out with a couple of other spare fortune cookies that you two intended to keep for yourselves.

“Alright, finally done,” you muttered, washing your hands. However, you were caught off guard when Luke dipped his hand in the bag of flour on the counter and smeared some on your cheek. Your mouth hung slightly at this, and you looked up at him challengingly. You wiped your hands with a hand towel, “Oh? Is that how we’re playing it?”

“...No…” Luke sheepishly replied, a grin growing on his face when he saw the look of mischief creeping on your face.

“Game on, Castellan,” with that, you dipped both of your hands in flour and chased after the tall boy, who was sprinting around the counter. You caught up with Luke and compromised by smearing flour onto the back of his shirt first. At your attack, he turned around and smeared some more across your face from your other cheek to the top of your nose. You immediately did it back to him.

“Ok, ok, I surrender,” he coughed in between quiet waves of laughter after you smeared some from his cheek down his neck, marking your last attack.

For a moment, Luke and you stood in silence, but when you two let the state of one another sink in, laughs echoed throughout the room again. Luke was able to stop his laughter first, though he was still wearing a wide grin. He washed the flour off his face and dried it with kitchen tissues as you muttered: “Oh, I wish I had a camera. I could practically blackmail you with that photo.”

“I have no doubt you would have never let me live that down,” while replying, Luke also approached you and started wiping the flour off your nose before moving to your cheeks. Your laughter slowly faded as your cheeks heated at the feeling of his hand on your skin. He was looking at you so tentatively. Callous hands - a reflection of his remarkable title as best swordsman - delicately holding your face as if you were the rarest diamond to exist.

Something about this moment felt so domestic. Luke allowed himself to indulge in the fantasy that this is how it would feel like to be with you and share cute moments like these together. Luke unbeknownstly let out a breath he didn’t know he was keeping in as he made eye contact with you. 

However, the moment was interrupted by another camper who yelped upon seeing you two in the kitchen. The presence of another person caused you two to spring apart. “I’m so sorry, I’ll leave,” the camper muttered, clearly abandoning their plan of stealing food and sweets in the middle of the night. Luke coughed to break the silence.

“So what’s the plan after giving it to Percy?” Luke asked, looking down at the fortune cookies before picking one up and munching on it.

“Hopefully, he’ll finally realize his feelings, and when he does…Percy will come to you, for sure.”

Stage 2: Romantic gesture

You were right, Percy came to Luke for dating advice. As you planned, Luke suggested that Percy make a flower crown for Annabeth. Hence, here the Hermes counselor was - with Percy as he picked out flowers for Annabeth.

"I'm gonna need you to guide me on this 'cause I've never made flower crowns before," Percy muttered as he picked out California Poppins, Annabeth's favorite. Luke grinned at this. He found it interesting how the young boy already knew. "Maybe you could make one for someone special too?" Percy said, his voice somewhat unsure. 

At the young boy's words, Luke froze. The first person that seemed to pop into his mind when Percy said that was you.

"I mean, might as well, right? It's for Valentine's. Maybe you could give it to someone who means a lot to you and makes you happy?" Percy spoke, though there was something instigative about his tone.

Happy. The word bounced in between the walls of Luke's mind. Once again, the first thing that flashed in his head was you. Then, a surge of images came running from memories of you two. He almost could not remember happiness before you. A warm feeling embedded in his chest as he pictured your smile. Just seeing you happy seemed to do it for him, like you could spread happiness to him by just looking at him. You were like the first glimmer of daylight after a cold night. He subconsciously smiled at that thought.

You have always made him feel loved, even though he knew you were probably doing it platonically. However, he would gladly take any form of love that he could receive from you. Every day, waking up and knowing he had you in his life was good enough for him. Maybe he should try giving you more hints. Maybe you'll finally see it. Perhaps Percy was right with the flower crown idea. 

“Uhm, sure,” with that, Luke decided to take some of your favorite flowers into his hand and went to a nearby table, where he started guiding Percy on how to make a flower crown. However, ever so often, his mind would trail to its own thoughts whenever he focused on making this flower crown for you.

Percy watched Luke as the older boy started intensely working on his own flower crown, crafting it with so much care as if it was an artwork intended for a national museum. If Percy didn’t know better, he would think Luke was a perfectionist.

Meanwhile, you were sitting with Annabeth near the ocean where she had previously pushed Percy into the waters, leading to Poseidon claiming him. You asked, “Any plans for Valentine’s Day?” 

“No, you?”

“Nope.”

“Oh?” she replied, though you tilted your head at the tone of her voice. “I’m just surprised,” Annabeth explained as she looked out at the ocean instead of at you. “I mean��I thought you and Luke…”

“Huh?—”

“Well, I mean, you two are together all the time, and there seems to be something going on —”

“What do you mea—”

“It always seems like you two would gravitate to one another. I just assumed you two were together already—”

“We’re…just friends,” you settled on saying, though you could hear your heart beating loudly, seemingly echoing near your chest and neck. Of course, you knew you had feelings for Luke. However, you have always ruled it as a silly little crush.

“...You sure? You sound really unsure,” Annabeth challenged, making you sigh. 

“I mean, he’s really sweet, and nice…”

“Uh-huh”

“And he makes me laugh all the time…”

“That’s good,” Annabeth’s words echoed as you sunk into silence and started reflecting on who Luke was to you. He has always made you feel cared for. Out of everybody at camp, perhaps he was the one you were most comfortable with, never having to be afraid of being yourself. Almost all of your favorite memories at camp included him in them. 

You remember the night you told him about your minor fear of the darkness and how he promised to always protect you in it. In a way, since then, he has become your light. You always felt lit up when he made his way to you. Your eyes are always drawn to him like a moth to its flame. Then, it finally dawned on you how serious your feelings were. You realized how most of the time you seemed to be mindless about the existence of your heart until Luke was around because it was only then that your heart would tug or race to run you breathless. You gulped as your eyes darted around slightly. 

“I mean…maybe…” you started but snapped out of your thoughts when you heard Luke’s voice. And there it was again, the silly familiar tug your heart was doing just from his voice. “Hey…” you greeted Luke and Percy before noticing Percy with a flower crown in his hand. 

“Annabeth, can I speak to you privately?” Annabeth stood up and gestured for Percy to lead the way, presumably somewhere, so the young boy could give her the flower crown and ask her out on Valentine’s Day. You remained seated, still pondering at your feelings and wondering when they had exponentially grown that much. 

“I actually have something for you as well,” you finally looked up at Luke when he said this. You noticed he had his hands behind his back. Something about the way he looked now seemed so shy and timid, which was unlike the outgoing and confident boy you always knew.

Your mouth fell agape when he pulled out a flower crown made of your favorite flower. “Luke…” you said his name and stood up when you saw the item.

However, because your eyes were on his gift, you didn’t notice the way Luke’s breath hitched at the sound of your voice calling out his name. He never thought it was anything special until November two years ago when you said his name while laughing at one of his jokes by the campfire. It was probably a moment you did not remember, but ever since then, he felt so sure that he was named so because the name sounded like it was born just for the sole purpose of being sounded from your lips. 

“I made this for you,” he muttered, though it sounded almost like a whisper. His eyes shifted to both of your Converses instead of at you. Something about this made him so nervous as if he was handing you his heart instead of a simple gift. He almost scowled at himself for acting like a boy in kindergarten, confessing to his crush.

If only Luke was looking at you because you were looking at him and the item in awe. Your cheeks flushed from his gesture. Though, you were somewhat glad he was not looking at you because you were sure one look at you right now would tell Luke exactly everything about your feelings. You were a blushing mess. “Luke, thank you so much. This is beautiful. I can’t believe you made one for me.”

You touched Luke’s hand that was holding the crown, and he almost grew an even deeper shade of red. “Put it on my head,” you instructed, and he obliged just like everything else you would ask. He was sure he must have caught a sickness or something for wanting to follow you this blindly. But you were perhaps the only one with the power to get him to do absolutely anything. Just as the crown touched your hair, you peered up at him, and the sight alone made Luke swallow nervously. 

You looked breathtaking.

And he meant this literally because Luke felt like he stopped breathing for a second. He could not look away. That was until you wrapped your arms around his waist and hugged him. His arms wrapped around your neck almost immediately to return the hug as if they existed to only hold you. 

However, unlike the hundreds of hugs before, this one felt different. It was as if something had shifted and was bound to unfold.

Final Stage: Valentine’s Day

Annabeth had said yes.

You were ecstatic to learn that the young girl had agreed to go on a Valentine’s date with Percy. Even though you didn’t want to intrude, you and Luke decided to just have a peep to see what Percy had planned. You were not planning to stay long. It was just a sort of reward or a way to see your plan grow into fruition. You smiled when you spot the cute picnic date near the shore.

“See, I told you the plan was going to work,” you muttered as you tiptoed up in your converses to peer at the kids through the tall bushes nearby. You almost lost balance and step onto Luke's shoes that were similar to yours, except his was red.

The boy quickly steadied you with his hand on your waist. You muttered a quick thank you before turning back to the kids, trying to ignore the blush that was slowly decorating your cheeks. But you were quickly caught off guard at the sight of Percy and Annabeth pushing a small boat off the shore and hopping on it.

“Uhm…that is not what I expected. Where are they going?” Luke looked over your shoulder when you said that. Your eyes fluttered at his warm breath hitting your neck. 

However, you noticed the two kids looking like they were in trouble and panicking as they quickly started rowing away. You turned your head towards Luke, forgetting he was very close to you. Your voice faltered as you were about to utter your next sentence. Noticing this, Luke turned to you, only causing the two of you to come face to face with little distance in between. You gulped and forced yourself not to glance down at his lips, “Do you think they’re okay? Should we follow them? I mean…what if they’re in trouble?”

Seeing the worried look on your face, Luke frowned. He deeply disliked anything that caused that kind of expression on your face. Hence, he decided to go over to the second boat there and started pushing it towards the water. “Come on,” you hopped onto the small boat with him and started rowing after Percy and Annabeth, hoping to help them from whatever trouble they were seeming to have.

After a few minutes of rowing behind them, you saw Percy and Annabeth rowing into a small tunnel. Luke and you quickly followed in, rowing your boat, only to be engulfed by darkness upon entering the tunnel.

The wind blew much harder in there, causing goosebumps on your arm as your hand gripped your oar tightly. To make matters worse, it was your most hated type of darkness - utter pitch black. Even with your eyes adjusted to the darkness, you could see nothing, not even Luke. 

You were fine with darkness in familiar places like your cabin, where you knew at least there were other campers around and you were safe. You were also mostly fine with darkness where you could see as your eyes adjusted to it. But here, you were in a tunnel you’ve never been in, where there were possibly monsters that could attack you at any moment. 

You were slightly startled by the hand that softly touched yours that, unbeknownst to you, was crushing the wooden oar. You immediately recognize it was Luke’s hand from the warmth and familiar touch. He soothingly ran his thumb across your hand. His actions were proven effective at calming you down when you could feel your grip loosen around the tool.

“Breathe, sweet girl,” his words somehow made you release the breath you were subconsciously holding.

A few seconds later, the lights were turned on. You were met with one of the most beautiful sights you’ve ever seen. Lights were decorating the path throughout the tunnel. There were also plants and trees with extended branches and leaves that softly brushed past the boat Luke and you were on. 

Suddenly, you both heard a tune start playing quietly in the background, almost quiet enough to make you two think you were imagining it:

“There you see her, sitting there across the way.

She don’t got a lot to say, but there’s something about her”

His thumb hasn’t stopped rubbing over your knuckles even though the darkness was no longer casting over the both of you. His eyes were absorbing how you looked at that moment, embracing it. You were absolutely stunning and he was hopelessly infatuated with you. 

“And you don’t know why, but you’re dying to try

You wanna kiss the girl.”

The lyrics made Luke subconsciously lick his lips as he pictured himself kissing you. Gods, he wondered if his heart would even survive doing so and whether anything would ever surpass getting to kiss you. Your eyes flickered to Luke's lips, and he noticed it. He also noticed how your cheeks flushed as you gulped at his actions.

“Luke.”

“Y/N,” you almost melted at the way Luke was saying your name as if it was an honor or privilege to do so. The tone he used was sweeter than any dessert you have ever had. Gods, it was as if your name was a sacred passage he lived by.

“Yes, you want her

Look at her, you know you do”

Indeed he was looking at you, and it felt almost like he was spellbound because he could not take his eyes off you. Right then, you could see it all - he was utterly smitten. He was giving you a soft smile. The lights decorating the tunnel shimmered in his eyes, illuminating just enough to display his pupils and how they almost completely overtook the usual dark brown color that you love. Before you knew it, he was leaning closer to you on the small boat and you mirrored his action.

“Possible she wants you too, there is one way to ask her…”

Just when Luke was inches from your face, he stopped. His eyes longingly stare at your lips like a long-awaited dream that was within his grasp but not quite within his grip yet. You noticed how he took a deep breath as if mustering all the drops of courage he had. His eyes fluttered shut for a second before he opened them again. 

“Can I?” he uttered only two words, but somehow, his voice conveyed enough the yearning coursing through every inch of his body. Luke gulped as he restrained himself from closing the distance and waited for your consent. 

You nodded wordlessly.

“It don’t take a word, not a single word

Go on and kiss the girl.”

Almost instantly, he caressed both sides of your face and sealed the deal.

All the glory Luke has gained throughout the years seemed trivial compared to kissing you. It almost convinced him that everything he had gone through to get here today was worth it. He hummed against your lips as you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him even closer. Kissing you felt like the best gift he had ever gotten in his entire life. Luke knew he was forever screwed from the way it felt. He could not fathom the idea of his lips ever touching anyone else’s. Maybe they were made for you, but his heart and mind do not seem to oppose that idea.

You slowly slid your arms down, allowing your hands to caress his jawline and the sides of his face. However, your hands slightly jolted at the pace of his heartbeat along the side of his neck. It was as if his heart was trying to break out of his body. Your own heart started replicating the same rhythm. It had you flustered that you had such an effect on him. 

Luke broke away from the kiss breathlessly. For a second, he hated the idea of needing air to live because if he could, he would not have stopped showing you how much his lips belonged to you. His forehead leaned against yours while his hands rested on your hips. He looked at you endearingly as if he could not fathom that he just got to kiss you. You smiled at the sight of him.

“I know I’m a tad bit late, but will you be my Valentine?” he sweetly asked. 

“Of course, Luke.” Luke grinned at your answer. He drew you in for another kiss as giggles escaped your lips and echoed through the tunnel that now marked an important memory for the two of you.

You truly must be Cupid because your plan not only worked for Percy and Annabeth, but somehow also indirectly gave Luke and you the nudge you both needed.

14th February marked the day when two Cupids wearing Converses got their happy ending. 

Bonus:

“I told you that would work,” Annabeth whispered to Percy as the two hopped back onto their boat with a speaker in hand, rowing away hastily to be out of sight from the older couple.

Little did you know, Annabeth had orchestrated the whole thing, including the conversation between her and Percy about their mission in front of Luke and you. Annabeth’s plan of getting Luke and you together through playing cupid together had seemingly worked just like she had planned.

Who said you were the only cupid at Camp Half-Blood?

----------------------

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[ashwhowrites]

HII, LOVE YOUR WORK. Can you do Eddie Munson x popular reader that he has hopelessly in love with. One day, the reader is trying to avoid this guy who’s been asking her out so she kisses Eddie but from then Eddie thinks they are dating. Not knowing how to tell him to not hurt his feelings but he finds out and feels stupid. WITH HAPPY ENDING!!!

I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it. Thank you for requesting 🫶🏻

Jumping ahead

Eddie had been in love with Y/N ever since high school. He always thought she was cute but she entered high school as a woman, and boy she was a woman.

He felt his mouth go dry whenever she was near him. He barely kept his eyes to himself, finding her anywhere he could. His ears were always perked up to hear her voice and laugh. He worshipped the ground she walked on; she had no idea he existed.

Well, that was until Friday night. Eddie never went to parties but he heard some kids wanted weed. So he went to make fast money. He ignored everyone, letting people come to him.

He heard loud voices come out of the house, and the argument quickly grabbed his attention. He turned to the noise, standing up once he saw Y/N marching outside with a pissed-off look.

Even pissed off she looked beautiful. He watched in case he needed to step in, disliking the way the boy followed her and gripped her arm.

She tried to shove him off but he wouldn't let go. Eddie packed up his stuff and put it underneath the table. Then puffed out his chest and made his way over.

"Let her go," he growled, he was very intimated by the tall and muscular jock but he'd do anything for the girl in front of him.

She looked at him with soft eyes, pleading for help. He gave her a quick glance and glared at the boy.

"This doesn't concern you," the boy argued, his grip still on Y/N.

"It does," Eddie replied, his voice deep as he stepped forward. Eddie wasn't muscular by any means, and he knew he'd definitely get his ass kicked. But the way Y/N was looking at him, so scared and helpless, the bruises would be worth it.

"How so?" The boy asked, letting go of Y/N as he shoved Eddie hard. Eddie stumbled back, almost losing his balance. But he grounded himself to the floor, his hand clenched in a fist as he prepared to throw the first hit.

"Because of this," Y/N said

Within seconds Eddie felt sticky glossy lips pressed against his. His eyes were wide as he looked at her. Her eyes were closed, her hands were in his hair and her tongue slipped in his mouth.

Eddie unclenched his fist and closed his eyes, wrapping his arms around her body. He shoved her against him, shivering at the way she moaned against his tongue.

Was he dreaming? He feared he'd wake up in his bedroom with wet boxers. It felt like they were the only two in the world. He imagined fireworks shooting in the sky.

Y/N was shocked by how much she was enjoying the kiss. His lips and control were so firm, locking her in place. And she liked the way his arms were around her, refusing to let her body move away.

She pulled away, desperate for air. Her eyes locked on Eddie as she felt the afterwaves of the kiss. She never knew much about Eddie, just his name and face. And well now how he tastes.

Y/N turned around to see the boy gone, a relieved smile on her face as she turned to Eddie.

"See you Monday," she said with a flirty smile. She walked away and gave him a wave, a flirty one as her fingers wiggled.

Eddie smiled at the ground, he shoved his hands in his pockets and tried to make his jeans comfortable again.

~~~

Monday rolled around and Eddie had never been so excited to go to school in his life. He walked on cloud nine, a swag in his step as he felt confidence oozing off of him.

Y/N kissed him. She picked him and she made out with him. Then made it clear they were going to see each other again. She never paid attention to him in school, but now she would.

Y/N was putting her lunch in her locker when Eddie appeared next to her. She gave him a polite smile.

"Hey, Y/N," he said with a bright smile. She couldn't help but smile brighter herself as she looked at him.

"Hi, Eddie," she closed her locker and turned her body to face him.

She was stunned when he leaned in and pressed another breath-taking kiss on her lips. She melted and kissed him back, her arms lopping around his neck.

He pulled away, a shy smile on his face. She blinked a thousand times as he simply walked away.

~

Eddie already raced to tell all his friends about the kiss with Y/N. And how they were definitely seeing each other. She kissed him twice, she had to be interested. And boy was he interested in her.

Y/N felt bad for overhearing Eddie's conversation with his friends, but she felt even worse that he believed they were dating after their kiss.

She didn't want to hurt his feelings, but how the hell was she supposed to clear the air?

He was very cute, and he knew how to kiss. She was very interested in getting to know him and open to letting that lead them to dating. But she didn't know anything about him and now he's telling people he's her boyfriend.

She walked away fast, trying to think of how to bring this up to him.

~~

Two weeks passed and she never quite figured out how to say it. He talked to her all the time, held her hand in the halls, and was never shy to place his lips on hers. She really liked all of it.

They did go out on some dates, and she enjoyed his company. Over the two weeks, she had a fat crush on him and wanted to be his girlfriend. So, she figured what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him. She'll gladly be his girlfriend.

But she was so lost in her little relationship that she forgot her friends were snakes. They were quick to gossip and that boy who never gave up on her was making his way back in.

~

"Yo, Eddie. I heard you and Y/N are actually together. Is that true?" Luke asked the name Eddie finally figured out after that party.

"Yes," Eddie said, quick to walk past him but Luke grabbed his arm.

"Now hold on, Munson. Because I heard after she kissed you, you thought you guys were together and she didn't know how to tell you that it was just a kiss."

Eddie felt the color draining from his face. He shook Luke off his arm and made an escape. He racked his brain and felt embarrassment rushing through his body. He was an idiot. He moved way too fast and didn't check to see where she was with all of it.

He also felt terrified. What if she didn't even like him? Just didn't know how to say no so she only went along with it.

He sat in his van, patiently waiting for her to jump in. He heard the door open and she slid in, planting her lips on his cheek and then closing the door.

"Ready?" She asked, he nodded and started the van. She seemed excited and happy to see him, but was all of that an act?

He waited until they sat down at the small restaurant before he questioned her.

"Luke told me something today and I want you to tell me the truth," Eddie said, swallowing nervously.

Y/N sat up straighter, a twist in her stomach. "Of course," she replied with a small hopeful smile.

"Did you mean anything from that kiss? Or was it just a kiss and I got way too ahead of myself?" He asked, she frowned at his sad eyes. She took a deep breath before she spoke.

"You want the truth so I'll give you that. It was supposed to be just a kiss. Something to throw Luke off of me. I'm sorry for using you like that. It was wrong and very wrong to not consider your feelings." She watched as Eddie's shoulders fell. "But" he perked up slightly, looking at her through his lashes with his head down. "I've loved every second we've spent together."

She reached over to softly hold his hand. "I really like you and I'm sorry I didn't say anything. I understand if this changes things, but I'm being honest that I want this with you, for real."

Eddie felt himself smiling at her words before he understood what she said. His stomach fluttered with her hand in his.

"I'm sorry for jumping far ahead without even communicating. I think I got so excited that I didn't even think." Eddie laughed, she giggled with him and rubbed her thumb against the top of his soft skin. "I want this too."

"Really?" She asked, a huge smile broke across her face, and felt excitement in her stomach.

"Have you seen you? Never letting you go." Eddie joked but yet meant every word.

"Can you ask me officially?" She raised her eyebrow with a small smirk on her face.

"Y/N, will you be my wonderful and beautiful girlfriend?" Eddie asked, he already knew the answer but still felt himself getting nervous.

"Absolutely," she said, leaning over the table as she placed a soft and gentle kiss against his lips.

Tags!

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @somethingvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming @eddiemunsonsbitch69 @thegemaqua @ashlynnkennedy @strangerthingsstories5255 @harringt8ns @pleasinghellfire @whoscamila @stusdollface93 @gretavankleep37 @bellaisswagger @arlxt @ineedmentalhelp123

[ponderingmoonlight]

Hi hi hi! I've been missing Levi content for a while now so I hope you won't mind if I request one. Like reader is a high ranking officer (higher than him obv) and they kinda hated each other bc of his attitude and stuff but then she kinda saves him and they started realizing their feelings and stuff

Btw I hope you enjoy your vacation!

You're so right honey, that's why we're doing this right now

Levi slowly but surely falling in love with his commander aka you

Pairing: Levi x fem!reader

Word Count: 2k

Synopsis: Levi never understood you, always hated the way you drag your soldiers around while carrying yourself with ease. Until you're out on another mission together, until he is the one who needs to safe you...

Warnings: None really, enemies to lovers in a kind of hurried way since this is a one shot, don't expect full on making out because again, this is only a one shot. Fluff fluff fluff with little errors here and there since I didn't find the time to re-read

I hear y'all, dearest aot fans! If you'd like to read more about attack on titan, feel free to push this fanfic and let me know 🤍

The tension is thick enough to slice through it with your gear as the Survey Corps make their final preparations before heading into Titan territory. The mission is risky, with the odds stacked against all of you as usual, but that has always been the life of a Survey Corps member.

Especially yours. Being the Lieutenant Commander meant taking a lot of responsibility for everything that happened regarding titans and your soldiers, always having to decide between the sake of a mission and those innocent lives that trust you with all their heart. The voices around you roam through the way too crowded room hectically, turn into a hot mess of different opinions and strategies.

In the midst of the chaos, Levi Ackerman stands with his arms crossed, his icy gaze fixed on the woman issuing orders just a few feet away.

You are everything Levi dislikes in an officer: confident to the point of arrogance, with a sharp tongue to match. Your strategies are always sound, often brilliant, but you have a way of getting under his skin like no one else. As a higher-ranking officer, you are technically his superior, which makes his hatred grow even worse.

“Are you sure this is the best course of action?”

Levi’s voice cuts through the chatter, his tone edged with scepticism like usual when he talks to you.

You don’t even look up from the map spread across the table. It would have surprised you if Levi kept his voice low when it’s always him who contradicts you the loudest.

“Unless you have a better idea, Captain, I suggest you stick to what you do best: killing titans”, you reply dryly.

Levi’s jaw clenches in the most uncomfortable way, a wave of anger rushing through his veins just by hearing your confident tone.

“And what you do best is risking lives for the sake of glory.”

You finally meet his gaze, your eyes flashing with irritation. But even though you know him oh so well by now, he never fails to get on your nerves.

“I’m risking lives to save lives. You, of all people, should understand that.”

“I understand that, Lieutenant Commander,” Levi retorts, the title spat out like venom,

“but this mission is reckless. We don’t need to take unnecessary risks.”

“The greatest risk is doing nothing.”

Your voice is cold, authoritative. Without gifting him another glance, you turn your attention back to the map, effectively dismissing him.

He storms out of the room in order to calm down his pounding heart, the images of the past missions with countless dead soldiers running through his mind all at once. Levi simply hates the way you talk, how someone so intelligent can be so infuriatingly stubborn and goddamn beautiful.

Beautiful?

“I’m losing my fucking mind”, he mutters to himself.

-the day of the mission-

Everything went smoothly. Getting out of the city, not meeting anything but a few 7 meter class titans who get wiped out by your well-thought line-up. As usual you lead the charge, your orders sharp and precise as you direct the troops with your eyes scanning the area like a hawk. Levi is forced to stay close, not out of any sense of duty to you, but because he knows he needs to be there when your plan inevitably goes south.

And it does.

The titans come out of nowhere, an abnormal horde larger and more coordinated than you anticipated. The battlefield erupts into chaos with your soldiers scattered all over the place before you’re even able to think about an order. Within a few seconds, some struggle to follow your orders while others acting on instinct to survive.

Levi’s instincts scream at him to keep moving, to cut through the titans as he always did. But his eyes keep drifting back to you, holding your ground in the middle of the chaos with your ODM gear flashing as you  maneuver between trees and slice through titan napes with deadly precision.

For a moment, he almost respects you. Almost.

But then, a rogue titan barrels toward you, faster than you could react. An abnormal you didn’t have the chance to see coming, aiming directly for your delicate neck. You turn around, eyes widening, realizing too late that you are out of time. You won’t make it.

Levi doesn’t hesitate. In a split second, he is there, blades slicing through the Titan’s nape with effortless precision. The massive body collapses, narrowly missing your frame as it crashes to the ground lifelessly.

For a second, you forget how to breathe. Blood rushes through your ears violently, your whole body starts shaking. This was the closest you’ve ever been to dying. Right here, on a mission that was supposed to be easy. If it wasn’t for him, you’d be gone by now.

Him.

You look at him, breathless, a mix of shock and something else, something unspoken, flickering in your eyes.

“You’re welcome,” Levi says flatly, retracting his blades.

Fuck, he hates the way his heart almost beats out of his chest. Seeing you almost getting dragged into the disgusting mouth of that demon, that glossy layer of fear glistening in your orbs. Truth is, he can’t imagine what life would look like without you. To be honest, just maybe, he somehow needs you in his life.

You don’t respond immediately, still catching your shaky breath. But when you do, your voice is softer, almost reluctant.

“Thank you.”

He gives a curt nod, about to move on, when another wave of Titans emerges from the trees, cutting off their escape. Fuck, you are trapped with no time to regroup or plan. For a split second, both of you exchangd a glance, a silent understanding passing between you.

In the matter of seconds, that minor spark of weakness disappears out of your orbs, gives way to the hardness of your determination. He can’t help but stare at you, that gorgeous face, how fucking strong you look.

There’s no time to stare at you like an idiot, though. You fight back-to-back, moving in a deadly dance of steel and blood. Levi’s movements are precise and brutal, while yours are fluid and strategic, exploiting every weakness you can find. It doesn’t matter if they are abnormal. At the end of the day, all of them are nothing but titans.

And the man fighting by your side? You allow yourself a single glance at him, how effortlessly he slices through each and every neck. He is the humanity’s strongest soldier, an inspiration even though you’d never say that out loud.

Together, you are unstoppable, a force that tears through the wave of titans with an almost terrifying efficiency.

But despite your efforts, the numbers are overwhelming. Your plan was brilliant, but it hasn’t accounted for this level of resistance. And now you are paying the price.

As you fight, your movements begin to slow, exhaustion creeping into your limbs. Levi notices immediately, his keen eyes catching the subtle tremors in your hands, the slight delay in your attacks. You are reaching her limit.

“Fall back,” Levi orders with sharp voice.

“We can’t retreat now,” you argue, even as your breath comes in ragged gasps.

“We need to—”

“You need to survive,” Levi cuts her off, his tone leaving no room for debate.

“You might be the Lieutenant Commander, but that’s an order. I can’t watch you die here. ”

For a moment, she hesitate, your pride warring with the reality of the situation. But the second you catch that look full of worry on his face, notice the pleading tone in his usual so cool voice, you nod. Together both of you retreat, your ODM gear carrying you away from the swarm of dreadful titans.

You land in a small clearing, both of you breathing heavily. For a long moment, you just stand there, surrounded by the unnerving quiet of the forest, the distant sounds of battle fading into the background.

“You saved my life back there”, you finally mumble into the silence.

Levi doesn’t respond immediately, his gaze fixed on the ground. When he finally does, his voice is uncharacteristically soft.

“You would have done the same.”

You nod, a small, tired smile tugging at the corner of your lips.

“I suppose I would have.”

You just stand there in silence for a while, the adrenaline of battle slowly fading, leaving behind an unexpected calm.

It’s strange, Levi ponders, how the heat of battle has somehow cooled the bitterness between them. Somehow, he doesn’t look at you with hatred filling him up to the brim anymore. Somehow, your beautiful appearance doesn’t provoke him like it did before. In its place, something else holds onto his heart, something he isn’t quite ready to name. Is that…blush creeping up his cheeks?

“I’ve misjudged you. You’re not just a killing machine”, you mutter, your eyes meeting his with an intensity that hits him straight to the core.

Levi raises an eyebrow, too busy to stop himself from blushing to prevent that hint of a smirk playing on his lips.

“And you’re not just a reckless strategist.”

You chuckle, a sound that is surprisingly soft, almost gentle. He never heard you laugh, especially not this sincere. What a wonderful sound.

“Maybe we’re both wrong.”

“Maybe.”

Both of you lapse into silence again, but this time more comfortable, less charged with those countless emotions. How is it that a single battle chased away that thick tension of hatred you felt for him just yesterday? Somehow, all you feel now is respect and…

You swallow hard, hungry eyes staring at the ground. Somehow, you feel attraction. Out of instinct, you shake your head in determination, force some sense back into your mind. You’re the Lieutenant Commander, after all.

 “We should get back to the others. They’ll need our help”, you finally speak out while getting up.

Levi nods, but before you move too far away from him, he reaches out, his hand briefly brushing against your arm. Your eyes dart up immediately, heart almost pounding out of your chest.

“Don’t be so quick to throw yourself into the fire next time. You’re no good to anyone dead” he comments with low but firm voice.

When you send a beaming smile his way, Levi almost forgets how to exist. If he had known how gorgeous your lips look, how well smiling suits you.

He’s lost.

“I’ll keep that in mind”, you reply with a sarcastic but warm tone.

-Bonus-

“They give me the ick”, Jean mutters under his breath.

“What? You mean Lieutenant Commander (y/n) and Captain Levi?”, Connie questions.

“Yeah. Didn’t they hate each other? I always thought I might be able to pull her…”

“Something between them changed, I guess”, Mikasa adds, the whole friend group staring at the both of you in sheer disbelief.

“Why are these kids staring at us so stupid”, Levi mutters under his breath, already on his way to confront those brats.

“Don’t.”

Gently, you grab his hand and pull him back towards you.

“Stay with me. That’s an order.”

“An order? You really think you can order me around?”

“Despite being your girlfriend, I’m still your Commander”, you tease him, now placing your hands against his chest.

“Maybe I’ll have to think about that again...”

Tags:

@lees-chaotic-brain @sanicsmut @levislegislation @istglevi-gotmesimping

[toothfa-1-ry]

BETWEEN OTHER SPIDER(S) -tasm! Spiderman

The other Peter was nothing like the one you knew back at home, but that didn't mean that you disliked him

Set in spiderman no way home

PAIRING: tasm!spider man x spider spiderwoman reader

A/N: Super rushed idk I didn't know how to end it :<

do I really have to do this? Whatever, let's just get it over with

My name is y/n l/n, and I'm from another, another, another dimension

I was also bitten by a radioactive spider and for the past 7 years, I've been spiderwoman

The rest is pretty simple actually, you guys know the jist

I went to school, got a pretty mad degree and modelled for an art class, where I met one of my bestfriend who introduced me to my other bestfriend.

I saved a ton of people, but I also couldn't save the alot of others

I saved one of my best friend, harry, but I couldn't save my other best friend's girlfriend and uh- now we don't talk anymore..

Then suddenly, one day.. this weird thing happens- this golden yellowish circle thingy pops up out of nowhere in front of me and suddenly I'm not at my apartment anymore, I'm in front of apparently 2 highschoolers and 2 other spiders.

"and now I'm infront of another highschooler who also turns out to be another spider" there's a unusual simplicity to your voice as you end your sentence with a slight sigh

The teenage boy in front of you was obviously not okay. He went through some stuff and even though you had no idea what they were at the moment, you knew what it felt like to feel like that

"i- I'm going to kill him" his voice is shaky "I swear I'm gonna kill him..aunt may- he killed au t may"

The boy's eyes are bloodshot red and there's scars all over his face. It was an all too familiar scene, like looking at the mirror, like looking back at your memories

"Peter.." you softly say "your name is Peter right?"

The boy doesn't respond but you could notice the slight reaction to his name, you could also sense the reaction from the two other spiders behind you

You were surrounded by Peter Parker wherever you went, he never really ever left you alone.

"well, there's 2 other peters behind me, and there's 3 other spiders in front of you. Externally we can be as different as we want to, but your scars and your burdens-"

in any other case you might have broken into laughter, you hated dealing with serious talks like this

"and your heartache, Peter, we all share it with you. You're not alone"

The other Peter's take turns speaking to the teenage Peter in front of you.

You can't help but feel like the pain- their pain is all too familiar to yours. Different nonethless but eerily familiar, like de ja vu

You hear familiar names, Uncle Ben, Mary Jane and your heart drops when you hear her name, Gwen Stacy

Your eyes are trained on the 2nd spider. The one not as old as the other but also not as young as the kid. He looks like your age.

He's nothing like your Peter and yet you find it hard to tear your eyes away from him, he talks about Gwen like the way the peter in your universe did and guilt eats you up like a spider eating it's prey,

Even in an alternate universe spiderman (or spiderwoman in your case) comes in the way of Gwen Stacy and Peter Parker

"what about you?" The teenage Peter looks up at you and questions you, about apprehensive of you

"hey kid- didn't I already tell you my entire life story already?" There's a slight teasing time in your voice but it's not reciprocated by the youngest spider

awkward

You bite your lip, you hated this. But you knew he needed to hear this too.

"I had a Peter Parker too, back in my world" unlike the other spiders who are now sitting closely to teen Peter, you choose to sit at the edge of the building away from their eyes

"and he was my best friend. Before I met Harry or Mary Jane I had Peter" you could feel the state of the oldest spider among you, you wished you could give him a hug

"he was my next door neighbour, my friendly neighborhood boy, he was the most special person I met" there's a smile in your voice "later I met Harry and Harry met Peter and we became inseparable"

"then Peter met... someone special too. And her name" you paused, taking a shallow breath before you continued "was Gwen Stacy"

Now you could feel the other spider man's eyes boring holes into you. The air suddenly feels all to different. It's a little hard to breath

"Gwen was amazing and beautiful and so- so special, I could see why Peter liked her. Everyone did, I couldn't help but like her too"

"one day... There was an accident where Gwen was unfortunately at the wrong place, wrong time and even though I saved as many people as I could.. I couldn't save her"

You feel a hand on your shoulder and you knew it was the older spider, it has callouses and scars, it was heavy and full of burden but it felt safe and comforting. It felt awfully like home

"Peter..he used to adore spiderwomen but after that day he changed...he changed for the worse. He applied for an internship at Osborne laboratory, a lab owned by Harry's dad and got in."

Your story was a little longer than the other spiders but yours was the one which connected all four of yours together.

"what happened to Peter?" It's not the teen Peter or the old Peter who asked you this but the Peter who you felt the most familiar to. He encouraged you to continue so you did

"he uhm got the internship. I was against it but Harry thought that maybe it could get Peter back to himself again- but instead Peter he..he"

"you don't have to continue you know" his voice is soft and warm but you think that maybe his eyes are more comforting "it's okay we can continue this later"

You simply nodd

There's an odd silence now at the rooftop of a building. You turn your head to face the teen Peter who was still processing everything thats going on

"kid, if there's one thing you should know is that we are not ordinary normal people. We have powers and with-" the old Peter begins to say but the Peter next to you cuts him off

"great power comes-"

You whisper the end "great responsibility"

You all shared a look, you can't help but think that it's strange but it's also oddly comforting.

-

One thing you should know about all the spiders from all the universes no matter what are usually if not horrible at dealing with their feelings

And the four of you were not so different but you guys had each other so it was going to be okay

The white cold light filled the lab along with the pairs of white coats shuffling here and there, thinking up of a game plan and also modifying the gadgets

You can't help but stare at the youngest Peter and mj or rather Michelle, you don't realise that the other Peters are doing the same, one of them unintentionally like you and the other staring wistfully

The oldest Peter contemplates saying something to you and the 2nd Peter. The both of you had a similar look as your eyes lingered at the young couple. Something like regret or maybe guilt. Perhaps love or maybe self hatred. At the end he decides to remain silent, it's better to let the both of you figure it out by yourselves

You're the first to snap out of the trance, almost immediately noticing the other Peter the one most closest to your age staring intently into what you also were a few minutes ago

You break the silence, a slight cough

"you gotta love young love huh?"

His eyes twinkle a mischievous look and give you a lopsided smile

"too bad spiderwoman ruined it for me" you shrug

"spiderwoman? it was Spiderman for me" he shakes his head adding an additional flair "talk about a total buzzkill"

You both break into grins as if though the both of you were long lost friends sharing an old joke together

"so uh -" Peter, not the one ned is trying to teach internet acronyms to or the one too busy holding his girlfriend's hand, but Peter with the brown eyes and hazel eyes, the one sitting right across from you.

"I hope I'm not being too forward" you could recognise that awkward tone from anywhere "but I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. About what happened to him" Peter's voice was genuine and his face warm "I'm sure it was difficult, especially because you had to go through that alone"

"oh" you're taken aback by his words

"not trying to be insensitive or anything but I" he gives you a lop sided smile, the kind of smile that seemed to be a mixture of concern and guilt "I know how difficult it must have been"

"it was difficult." You admit "Peter was my bestfriend, he was-" you cannot find yourself able to end that sentence and the Peter infront of you is quick to catch on to this fact

"uh so what did Peter look like? In your universe? I mean if that's alright to ask ofcourse I don't want to-"

he had caught on to your hesitation, he guesses that your relationship with the Peter in your universe was complicated so he simply changed the topic

"Peter" you laugh a little "uhm- i was kind of taken back at first, your almost nothing like my peter"

You don't miss the way his eyebrows raises when you say my Peter, but you also don't miss the way he tilts his head when he was surprised

"sorry I mean the Peter in my universe.. you know just your typical friendly neighbour" you say "blue eyes, blonde hair"

"wait- I have blue eyes and blonde hair in some other universe?"

You raise your eyebrows and gave him a look of slight disbelief "did you seriously just say you ?"

"hey" the Peter in front of you says as if to back himself up, holding up his hands "in some other universe I'm a no offense a middle aged man and in some other a hormonal teenager. It's great to know that I had blue eyes and blonde hair at a certain point"

You laugh. You actually laugh. It's a long time since you've talked about your Peter to anyone and for a long time every conversation about him seemed like a mourning but this one, this one felt as if though you were celebrating the person he was

"I'd rock blonde hair and blue eyes I assure you" The Peter infront of you breaks into a smile when he sees you laugh.

For someone he had never met or rather a person he was never supposed to meet he felt a sense of closeness towards you. A tingle

"so do you have a y/n in your universe? Please tell me I have pink hair and green eyes" you say

"not yet, unfortunately" he grimaces "but I have you here right now"

It's different. Everything was different with this Peter. You just couldn't pinpoint how

"yea I guess"

Peter doesn't say anything but gives you a wink before he goes tinkering his web shooting gadget

"huh..." You couldn't help but mumble to yourself "it's a weird though don't you think? This whole multiverse Spiderman/woman thing"

Peter hums in agreement "well, string theory is a bitch"

"Werner Heisenberg? Total asshole"

"tell me about it, he's worst"

There's a shared cheeky glance, an unspoken understanding, a connection if you would dare to admit

The Peter infront of you was nothing like your peter, he didn't have blue eyes or blonde hair, instead he had brown eyes and even darker eyes, he wasn't overlty confident or proud but rather seemed awkward and a little shy

The Peter infront of you was nothing like the Peter you knew in your universe but you didn't seem to mind

After all, the both of you had eachother right now, and that all the seemed to matter

[goldfades]

𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐓, 𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐓 𝐉𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐘 ─ LH⁴³

౨ৎ ─ summary | requested ! can u write rough car smut with luke hughes please 🫶🏻🫶🏻 -> luke storms out of your friend's party because of a "good-natured" comment, causing you two to get into an argument in his car but quickly make up.

─ word count | 2k

─ warnings | SMUT with teensy bit of plot!!!!!!! slight angst, car sex (obvs), jealous!luke, rough!luke (not too much tho), unprotected p in v, no prep, dumbification (pls idk if this is the right word for it) but like VERY LITTLE, praise, luke being PUSSY DRUNK, choking (but not really), and pretty sure nothing else.

─ taglist | @dancerbailey @maryleclerc @valluvsu @bowen-power @bunting58 @daisysnhl @daisysthings @hearts-4-luke @iminlovewithtz11 @jackhughesily @literatureluster @lvrzegras @lxvelyzoe @ru-kru

─ ev's notes | this is quickly turning into a luke hughes fan-page (even tho i'm supposed to be in MY QUINN HUGHES ERAAAAA) request some stuff!!! my requests are open rn!!!!!!!

ALL IT TOOK WAS one backhanded comment and Luke was out of there.

He was practically dragging you at this point, his hands gripping yours as he walked out of the room. It didn't take a whole lot to realize he was angry ─ he was fuming. His jaw clenched, and his steps were sharp and quick, he needed to remove himself from the situation before he said or did something he might later regret.

You struggled to keep up with his fast pace, feeling the tension radiating off him like heat from a flame. His grip on your hand was almost painful but you knew better than to protest or try to slow him down. When Luke was in this mood, it was best to let him cool off on his own terms.

You reached the car and he dropped your hand, opening the driver's door and getting inside. He didn't bother saying anything as he started the car as soon you got into it. You wanted to say something but you knew if you did, you will never hear the end of it.

You and Luke had gotten invited to one of your friend's get-together. Now this would be a normal occurrence if it weren't for the fact he strongly dislikes your friend. You knew why but it honestly didn't seem that big of a deal ─ your friend wasn't really a big fan of sports.

You knew the root of Luke's dislike for your friend stemmed from their differing interests. Luke, being a professional hockey player, lived and breathed the sport. It was his passion, his livelihood, and his identity in many ways. On the other hand, your friend couldn't care less about sports.

Now this all would not be a problem if your friend had a weird thing with teasing Luke. He really enjoyed getting a rise out of him but it wasn't like he targeted Luke, that was just how he was.

As the car hummed along the road, the tension inside it seemed to thicken with each passing mile. Luke's knuckles were white against the steering wheel, his jaw clenched so tightly it looked like it might crack.

"Luke, we need to talk about this," you spoke up (despite your better judgement). You couldn't really find the words to put it lightly. He was being too sensitive, you wanted to say.

But of course, you couldn't. That was mean. You glanced back at the brunette, sympathy written all over your expression.

Luke shot you a sharp glance, his eyes flashing with anger. "What's there to talk about?" he snapped, his voice cutting through the air like a knife. "Your friend was out of line, and I'm not going to stand around and be disrespected like that."

"He wasn't trying to disrespect you, Luke," you countered, your voice rising slightly. "He was just joking around, like he always does."

"Well, maybe his idea of a joke isn't as funny as he thinks," Luke retorted, his grip on the wheel tightening even further.

You shook your head, feeling your temper flare. "You're being too sensitive," you shot back, unable to hold back your frustration any longer. "He's my friend, Luke. I'm not going to just cut him out of my life because you can't take a joke."

You knew you'd stepped over the edge, crossed a boundary you shouldn't have. Regret seeped into your expression as Luke's anger seemed to triple, if that was even possible. Your mouth hung open, trying to say something, anything but nothing came out.

Luke's expression darkened at your words, his jaw tightening even further as he processed your response. The silence in the car grew heavy, suffocating, as both of you grappled with the weight of your words.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Luke spoke, his voice low and laced with barely-contained fury. "So that's how it is, huh?" he muttered, his gaze burning into yours.

"Luke, I'm sorry... I just-" You stammered, desperately trying to backtrack. "I just..."

But before you could finish your sentence, Luke's words cut through the air like a knife, his anger now laced with a bitter edge.

"He's a little bitch, why are you trying to defend him so badly?" Luke's gaze bore into you as he spoke. "I bet you he can't even skate correctly and he's over here talking about hockey like he knows anything about it."

As he continued to speak, his voice was filled with something more than just mere anger. You could practically feel the jealousy radiating off of him and finally, it made sense ─ he was jealous. Your heart almost did a flip, it was... kinda cute.

Despite the venom in his words, your lips began to curve into a small smile. Luke looked over and his anger seemed to turn into utter irritation.

"Why are you smiling?" His words came out harsh but you just shook your head.

You shook your head, trying to suppress the smile that threatened to spread across your lips. "I'm not laughing at you," you assured him, though your tone was light. "It's just... you're cute when you're jealous."

"Jealous?" He repeated, angry coursing through his body. "Of him? Why? It's not like he stands a chance against me in anything. Jesus, Y/N. Jealous?"

"I didn't mean it like that," you said quickly, reaching out to touch his arm in a gesture of reassurance. "I just meant... it's cute when you get all protective. Like you care about me."

Luke's expression softened slightly at your explanation, though the tension in his shoulders didn't ease. "Of course, I care about you," he said gruffly, his tone still tinged with irritation. "I hate that guy. So much, I don't think I've ever hated anyone more. And seeing him flirt with you-"

"What?" You interrupted. "Luke, he's not flirting with me."

Luke glared back at you, trying to suppress an annoyed groan. "Trust me, Y/N. I can fucking tell. You're just too friendly to get it. But you're my girl, I don't why he wants to one-up me. You're already mine."

"I am, I am yours." You repeated, your gaze softening slightly.

Luke looked back at you, his gaze filled with smugness and a maybe even desire. "Yeah," he replied breathlessly. "You fucking are." His voice was low and you felt his voice go right down south.

He pulled over the car and you felt your whole body burn up. He put the car in park and looked over at you, his gaze filled with desire. You knew you couldn't have him waiting so you just crossed over to him and straddled his lap.

Luke didn't waste any time ─ he grabbed your jaw and kissed you harshly. You let out an uncontrollable whimper at that, his touch almost bruising on your jaw. His lips drew lower, letting go of your jaw as he began kissing your neck.

You couldn't help but let out quiet whimpers, letting your head fall back.

"Mine," he mumbled against your neck with each kiss on your neck. You began grinding your hips against his and you felt his hard-on right on your clothed cunt, your whole body shaking with desire.

He stopped his actions and you let out a huff of disapproval. He gestured for you to move in the backseat and you did with no question, laying back as Luke got on top of you.

He slid your hips upward before taking ripping your leggings off. His touch was harsh but you didn't mind ─ Luke usually took his time with you and was much softer but you knew his mind was racing with jealousy. And you didn't wanna admit but you were kind of hoping for this outcome when you had first got into the car.

He pulled down his sweatpants and you could see his cock bulging out of his boxers. His head fell back in pleasure as he pulled himself out, the tip an angry red as pre-cum was leaking out of it. Luke let out a groan as he gave himself a few pumps before he slid your underwear to the side.

Usually, Luke was patient enough to stretch you out with his fingers but not tonight; he just needed to fuck you dumb, til your legs were shaking the only thing playing in your was him.

He leaned forward so he could pull you into a needy kiss before he slid his cock inside of you slowly. His kiss was sloppy as you let out a moan into it as he slowly bottomed you out. You felt the burn, Luke was pretty big and the lack of prep added some pain but you knew it would dissipate.

"Ah, fuck." Luke moaned into the kiss before he pulled away. He bottomed you out pretty quickly, you were so wet that he just slipped right in. "Fuck, baby. You feel so fucking good."

You whimpered in response before Luke slid his hands up to your neck, holding you tightly before he began thrusting in and out. His other hand was planted right on your hips, his grip firm. Your eyes rolled in the back of your head as you arched your back in response, the previous mentioned pain quickly turning into pleasure.

"You're mine," he grunted as he quickened his pace. He pulled your legs all the way to rest on his broad shoulders, fucking you from a new angle.

He was hitting in all the right spots, you could barely see straight. All that was coming out of your mouth were moans and unintelligible strings of praises and curses.

"Feel so fucking good, Jesus." Luke felt himself slip, your pussy felt so good and knowing that you were only for him, that he was the only one who's ever been this deep inside of you, made his knees weak. "Ah, fuck baby."

He began fucking you into the backseat, harsher and rougher than before. You couldn't even think straight anymore, your cries louder and your legs shaking as he did. Luke felt like he was on cloud 9, you were squeezing him so good and you were so perfectly made for him, not to mention how fucking beautiful you looked; your eyes closed, your head back, your face sweaty and your mouth slightly open as you took him ─

God, he was so fucking close. He closed his eyes because he knew if he kept looking at you, he'd cum. Luke held you down by your neck as he brought down his fingers to rub on your clit harshly and before neither of you knew it, your orgasm hit you like a truck.

Your cunt tightened against him, he let out a loud groan as he head fell back. A few more deep, messy and harsh thrusts and he was spilling inside of you. He fell on top of your heaving chest, both of you trying to catch your breaths.

Your fingers found his curls and you began to run your hands through them. Sure, it'd make them all frizzy but you knew it made Luke relax. The whole car was fogged up, making your lips curve up into a lazy smile.

With a gentle sigh, you pressed a warm kiss to the crown of Luke's head, relishing in the quiet intimacy of the moment. "I love you, I'm sorry-"

"No." He interjected, finally sitting up so he could face you entirely. "I'm sorry for... being all being all possessive and jealous back there. It's not fair to you, especially when you've done nothing wrong."

You reached out to gently cup his cheek, your thumb brushing against his stubbled jawline. "It's okay, Luke," you reassured him, your voice soft. "If I'm being honest, it was kind of hot."

"Yeah, I figured." He smirk as gestured to your legs as you rolled your eyes in amusement.

You couldn't help but laugh at his reaction, feeling a warmth spread through you at the sight of his playful expression. "Yeah," you admitted, your voice tinged with a teasing tone. "I mean, it's nice to know you care so much."

Luke's smirk widened into a full-fledged grin, his eyes sparkling with desire. "If being jealous always ends in us fucking like that, then maybe I should do it more often." he quipped, leaning in to press a kiss to your lips. You giggled as he did so, relaxing in his touch.

↳ make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated !

↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

[knottyforlegoshi]

sound bites from the bedroom.

how legoshi sounds in bed. not sfw

"Ah.... Ah...!"

Legoshi does his best to stifle his grunts and moans; he finds them embarrassing and usually has a hand clasped over his jaw to stop himself from getting too loud. When he learns his partner has a kink for his voice though, he does his best to accommodate their wish to hear him while not doing anything too out of his comfort zone.

"God... you're so perfect..."

He usually thinks this while you're riding him. He's clutching your thighs, being careful not to dig his claws into your thighs, but fuck, does it feel too good. He often ends up accidentally blurting out something sweet aloud though, and he always gets embarrassed by it.

"Use me... ngh..."

Legoshi's wet dreams and fap material often centers around the thought of you riding him. He's much too nervous to take control, even in his fantasies, but he does like to think about gripping you fully, helping you take him faster, deeper.

"I want to make you mine."

Legoshi can't suppress his possessive instincts and the need to make you his. He's overwhelmed by the idea of claiming you in such an intimate way.

"I'm about to... I'm gonna c-come inside you.... Tell me I need to stop! Ngh."

He does like to warn you just in case you want him to finish elsewhere. He really really enjoys finishing inside you, but he wants to do what you're comfortable with first and foremost.

"I'm cumming! I can't... control... nghhh."

He's the most vocal when he's cumming. He tilts his head back and whines and whimpers as he slowly bucks his hips into you, making sure to fuck every drop into you. A big thing about Legoshi is control, even in the bedroom. He doesn't want to get too wild and risk hurting you or scaring you.

"Mmph... ah.... I love you."

It's not sex with Legoshi if he's not declaring his love for you. Snout pressed up against your neck as he pants his adoration for you, his hips slowing their thrusts, the two of you joined by his knot. Even balls deep inside you, eyes clenched shut as you ride him. He can't help but blurt out those three words out at the most random moments. Sex with him is very intimate.

"Take it. Fuck... yes. Take it...."

In his rut, he can be quite different. Focused solely on the task before him, of reassuring his and your mutual pleasure. He'll often urge you to take his knot. He enjoys the sight of it disappearing inside your slick channel.

"You're mine."

He gets incredibly possessive during his ruts. He's already pumping load after load into you, his knot not deflating in the slightest. He's already left a bite mark on your neck that proves to any carnivore who bothers sniffing around you're his. It's just the verbal proclamation that seals the deal.

In his rut, he's unfiltered. Lots of growls and groans and curses. His deep voice sending tingles down your spine as he rocks into you. Unashamed of the sheer carnality of his urges. Usually he's not much for dirty talk, but in his rut, he very much leans towards his carnal/possessive side.

"Everyone outside is going to see... how you're mine, and only mine."

He likes to say this when he's indulging in his breeding kink. After filling you up so much to the point you're leaking, to the point where his smell is all over you, inside you. Another claim to show you're his.

"Come for me. I wanna feel you tighten around me. Gonna stuff you again."

Again, he's much more unfiltered and confident in himself in his rut. He becomes much more dominant as well.

"I'm sorry... did I hurt you?"

Legoshi is doting after his ruts or after a rather intense session in general. He takes his time to scan you for any bruises or scratch and feels immensely guilty if he sees any. He's very dutiful about washing you up, cleaning you off, making sure you're comfortable.

"...You liked it? Oh. Okay."

He likes hearing what you like and dislike in your sessions. He always wants to be improving. It still surprises him when you like him to be rough with you. He's so worried about hurting you, but the knowledge that you trust him enough to let him hurt you? He tries so hard not to get aroused by it, but it's hard. (Also he is. Hard.)

[riverbutghost]

Why?

Pairing: Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley x Fem!Reader

Summary: Simon made it clear that he disliked you. But after you were captured by the enemy, he decided that was far from the truth.

Warnings: Military stuff (wounds, blood etc.), Slight sexual themes, violence, detailed descriptions of torture but not too much. (I don’t know if I’ve missed anything else. The italics are flashbacks btw.

Masterlist

“Ты говоришь на русском языке?” do you speak Russian?

You tried to catch your breath while the two men were talking in Russian. A cold water was thrown at you.

“посмотри на нее, она такая американка. я чувствую его запах.” He scrunched up his face and looked at you with disgust. look at her, she’s so American I can smell it.

“Aren’t you going to beg, my dear?” He patted your head a little while smiling like a maniac. The Russian accent was so strong that you asked yourself if you knew Russian.

“Aww, she’s such a cutie with a crying face. I love making little girls cry.”

Your face scrunched up and you looked down, not letting them see your tears anymore. It was embarrassing for you, a soldier who was known for her strong facade on the field. But only on the field, they used to say. You smile a lot, lass, Soap used to say. Now you wondered if you were going to see him again.

“Well, either way we will keep you until you die, sweetheart. Take care, Милая.” darling.

The other man smirked and they both got out of the room.

You couldn’t remember what had happened, but you were taken by the Russians.

Your head was pounding and the punch you received from the guy who had called you disgusting pet names was dreadful.

You wiggled your arms, wiggled your neck but no. They weren’t even ropes. They were metal bars. They had pinned your arms, legs and neck to a metal bar.

You were sure you were going to die here.

Suddenly, you remembered your lieutenant’s words from earlier.

He had said, “don’t leave my side. I didn’t want you in the first place but they gave you to me so do as I say. Also, I don’t want to hear you chitchat.”

It hurt you a little, pinched your already broken heart. But you knew better than getting sad. He was Ghost, always mean, always bored. He only joked around with Soap, which was a rare sight. You promised to yourself that whatever he would say, you were going to befriend him. But that didn’t end up like that.

It was rare for you. Usually you would get along with anyone, but Ghost was different. From the beginning, he would always make you feel small, making little comments about how you had a big mouth and he knew how to shut it and blah blah blah which made your face flush.

You were starting to get him though. Or so you thought.

-

“You know I don’t care what you say, right?”

Your shoulders slumped a little. But your smile came back.

“Well, I don’t care either. That makes us a good team.”

You smiled at him sweetly. Like a child who got what they wanted. He gripped the folders harder.

“Stop smiling and get these papers to Price.”

You kept smiling and took the papers from him.

“We will be friends eventually, sir.”

“I hope not.” He mumbled, making you chuckle a little.

-

You were always hurt after talking to him, but sucked it up eventually.

He had his issues. He knew better to trust a new soldier. But you were insistent. He was insistent either.

“Are you okay?”

He tensed at you sudden voice, eyes dropping at your soft tone.

“Yes, is there a problem?”

You bit your cheek.

“Why are you so persistent about this?”

He was taken aback by your question. He turned towards you, his skull mask was on.

“What?”

You gripped your blade harder. It was one of those ‘nightmare’ nights. You couldn’t sleep and thought it would be easier to clean your blades. You should’ve known better.

“You try so hard to ignore me or shut me up.”

His eyes were staring right at yours and you felt the need to remove your eyes from his.

“I don’t like bubbly people. And you talk too much, my ears can’t take it anymore.”

You furrowed your eyebrows.

“You’ll like me eventually-“

His sharp breath shut you up instantly.

“Why do you act like everyone likes you? Who the fuck do you think you are?”

You were taken aback by his sudden harsh words. You opened your mouth to speak, again thinking you were going to make him like you. So you said the thing that came to your mind to stop him from breaking your heart more.

“Chill dude-“

You were flushing. What the fuck was ‘chill dude’ ?

“Don’t” He stopped for a second. “don’t ‘chill dude’ me. I’m your superior and you will respect me. Understood?”

You felt your body freeze. He was making it so hard, so hard to befriend him.

“Ghost-“

“Sir, you’ll call me sir from now on.”

You looked down at you hands, trying to find something to look at.

“Yes sir.” You mumbled eventually and got up, scoffing at the tears which were threatening to fall down.

-

You still remembered the stinging feeling his words had caused you.

You stopped trying to be one of his mates. You stopped talking near him. This made everyone question why, but never asked because Ghost was never in the mood to talk.

.

Simon thought about the last time he had cared about anything. He couldn’t remember.

But you, you…

You were like a rainbow after a terrible storm. Your smile could lit up the whole world. And after just one look at your face, he knew he should distance himself and not get close to you.

But you had other plans.

After your first mission, he was sure he would get lost looking at you smile.

-

“How is your leg, sir?”

You asked him with the most beautiful smile he had ever seen.

“Fine.” He grumbled, voice vibrating through his chest. Your cheeks started getting pinker and he cursed himself.

“Can you get out and call the nurse?”

Your smile wavered a little and you finally turned around. You mumbled under your breath, he figured you were hurt by his words.

“No need to be rude, Lieutenant.”

He couldn’t help it though. You were a ball of happiness and he was overwhelmed. He couldn’t help himself.

He regretted it, but still said nothing.

-

You didn’t shut up. Ever.

Even if he said the most hurtful comment, you would still forget about it and smile at him. He sometimes questioned your ability to be happy all the time. It was a gift, he was sure.

You were a gift. He wasn’t religious at all, but after seeing you for the first time, he was sure you were a gift from above.

He fucked it up.

He should be relieved, but no. He was angry at himself for attacking you in a sort of fucked up way.

He was using his fucked up mentality to push you away, but he knew better.

Deep down, he knew why he was treating you that way. But he wouldn’t let anyone know this. Not even himself.

“We have to do something, y’know?”

Simon pushed his thoughts away and looked at his superior.

“Yeah, no shit.”

Price pressed his lips harder than usual.

“I interrogated them, they say different things.”

Simon pulled his mask down and got up. He turned towards Price.

“Then maybe you should let me interrogate them.”

Price gave a long and sharp breath.

“What will we have if you kill them?”

Simon furrowed his eyebrows. You don’t understand, he wanted to say.

“What do we have, then?” He gave up for the sake of finding you.

“4 locations, Soap searched them. They are all Russians’ and we have to be quick.”

They were more then ready to find their little sunshine. But Simon was stressed, he was freaking out.

They got ready, hopped on their truck and the mission was started.

-

You weren’t okay.

You were far from being okay.

“Oh, look at her. So sad no one is coming for you?”

You clenched your jaw, immediately regretting it because of the massive headache.

“Speak when I ask you a question, got it ?”

A noise came from your neck at the sudden blow to your cheek.

“Let’s get rid of these bars,”

Your neck suddenly fell down after the metal bar opened. You couldn’t find the strength to look at them.

He gripped your hair and jerked your head to him.

Another guy kicked your abdomen, making you whimper in pain.

“Bastards!”

The guy gripped your hair harder and smacked the back of the gun to your head.

You unintentionally whimpered again.

“What was that? You little pig.”

You were sure there was an internal bleeding in your abdomen.

“That’s enough brother, let’s eat.”

The guy kicked you again in the abdomen and the metal bars opened.

You fell down from your chair.

Your vision was blurry, you were sure you wouldn’t survive in two days. It has been so long, so long.

They were coming, you knew it. Deep down, you were wondering if Ghost was finally relieved. No one was talking his head off or cracking dirty jokes now. Was he keeping them away so you would die alone here?

You closed your eyes, shaking the ridiculous thoughts.

You were tired, so you let yourself go.

-

“Hey, be fuckin’ quiet!”

Soap gulped and apologized at his Lieutenant. He was extra angry today.

“Sir, what if she’s already dead? This would be a suicide mission then.”

Simon turned towards the recruit.

“Shut your mouth and do what you’re told, kid.”

The soldier fell silent after that. They knew better to piss Ghost off.

“Okay, get ready. In three, two… one!”

Shots were suddenly fired. The Russians were not expecting this, at this hour especially. They were on edge, but their superiors were busy having dinner.

“I’ll look inside!”

Ghost shouted, immediately followed by Soap.

The two got in, killed the guards.

It had been a fucking week, and Ghost felt pathetic to hear your voice. It effected him more than he thought it would.

“Fuck, Soap, I’m going downstairs .”

Soap nodded and returned his killing.

Ghost kept his steps low, head raised high in confidence. He pushed through everything in front of him, trying to save his pain in the ass.

He pushed every door, even broke the locked ones down.

There you were, laying on the ground. Looking dead, but your back was slightly moving up and down.

He immediately scanned the room, with nothing he rushed to get you out of there.

He kneeled on his knees and turned you around carefully.

“Sir?”

He breathed a sigh of relief.

“You’re strong, sergeant.”

You smiled a little. He checked your injuries’ severity and got you on his back.

“I didn’t think I would- uh- be alive to be honest.”

Simon furrowed his eyebrows.

“Bite your tongue, Sergeant. You’re one of the strongest soldiers i’ve ever met.”

You smiled a little again. Proudly you closed your eyes.

“Stay, yeah? Don’t want you to die on me, gonna get in trouble because of you.”

Your smile faltered. Here you were, naive little girl.

“Right.”

He knew he fucked up again. But his first mission was get you out of there safely.

You whimpered at the sudden pain in your abdomen.

“What’s wrong?”

Your arms tightened around his neck, not enough to hurt him.

“Hurts-“

A sudden explosion made you two flew into a wall. Ghost groaned and quickly grabbed his gun. He looked around for you.

Everything was happening too quick for his liking. He reloaded his gun and jumped up to his feet.

“No…”

He fired his gun nonstop at the men, who were trying to shoot both of you. He was actually scared for the first time.

He reached to his comm.

“Soap, fuck- come downstairs!”

He swung his gun to the man beside him and rushed to your side. He lifted you bridal style and turned his back on the men.

“Fuck,”

A bullet pierced his shoulder. He eventually put you down behind a desk, flipping the desk over to cover you.

Soap, Gaz and Price came into his view and he relaxed all of a sudden.

“Ghost?!”

Ghost put his arm up behind the desk to show them where you were.

“Are you hurt? You’re bleeding.” Gaz looked at him in concern.

“Oh, so I’m not hurt then.”

Ghost scoffed at Gaz and picked you up. Gaz rolled his eyes.

“Let’s get you two to the heli.” Price tried to pick you up, but Ghost mumbled something and pulled you to him.

“Ghost-“

Ghost brushed him off.

“Let’s go.”

It had been a week.

After multiple surgeries, you were in intensive care for give days.

The internal bleeding had caused you to lose consciousness and when you woke up in the heli, you vomited blood. On Ghost.

Ghost felt his heart beat faster at that because for a second, he thought you were dying.

You didn’t.

You were awake but still in bed. Soap came to your visit, Gaz did, Price did, even Alejandro did but Ghost didn’t.

You received a lot of gifts from recruits which made you smile. But something else was occupying your mind.

You wondered if Ghost was okay. Soap told you he was shot, said it was nothing for him.

You got up to a sitting position. Immediately holding your abdomen, you cursed. It still hurt like a bitch.

You stood up from the bed and checked the nurse. She wasn’t there so you took the chance to escape from your prison.

You were in a white oversized sweatshirt and nothing else. You weren’t wearing a bra and you thanked the nurse.

You pushed the doors open. You had forgotten the sweaty smell of the hallways. You missed it.

“What are you doing? Go back to bed.”

You flinched at your nurse’ tone and turned around to her.

“I feel good, Amanda. Please,”

Amanda sighed then nodded, allowing you to leave.

“I didn’t see you, then.”

You chuckled a bit and left.

Your mission was now to find your Lieutenant. Ghost. Simon. You never tried to call him by his actual name, knowing his temper and dislike towards you.

You felt nauseous all of a sudden. You didn’t want to find him, you didn’t want to feel unwanted and alone again. Even though your other teammates were always there for you, you wanted him. Why? You didn’t know. Or didn’t want to admit.

You took a deep breath, forgetting about your abdomen.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” You held your abdomen and mumbled curses.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

You froze and licked your lips. That wasn’t the scenario you thought it would be. You turned to your side.

“Hi, sir.”

You smiled at him through your pain.

He was wearing his balaclava, his eyes red. You wondered why, then remembered he was shot.

“Are you okay Ghost? I heard that you were shot.”

You took a step forward. He took a step back. You pressed your lips together.

“I’m fine. Go back to bed.”

You furrowed your eyebrows.

“No.”

Ghost looked straight at your eyes, his bloodshot eyes looked concerning.

“Do as I say, sergeant.”

You shook your head. Not today.

“I’m okay. I wanted to see if you were okay too.”

Ghost’s eyes left yours for a second. He looked down at your abdomen.

“You’re going to open your stitches.”

Your head fell to your side slightly. He looked at you again.

“Are you, okay?” You punctuated for him to understand what you were trying to say.

He sighed.

You took four more steps towards him until you were chest to chest.

He looked defeated.

“I am.” He answered your question, eyes flickering between your mouth and your eyes.

“Can I look at your shoulder? It’s bleeding.”

Ghost furrowed his eyebrows and looked at his shoulder. He knew he shouldn’t be working out in this condition.

“Please let me help, Simon.”

His breath hitched a little, but you heard.

With a newfound courage, you took his hand and lifted it slightly with a cloud-like touch.

“I’m sweaty .” He looked at your eyes.

“It’s okay.” You smiled at him. His eyes traveled all over you and suddenly, he took your hand and started dragging you.

You gasped in shock, but didn’t say a thing. He was acting strange, you didn’t mind it.

Ghost opened the door to his room and after pulling you in, he closed the door.

“What now?” He asked out of breath. You flushed a little.

“Uhm, well. I’ll get your med kit.”

He nodded and showed you the place. He sat down onto his bed.

You came with the medkid, a little shyly.

“Take off your shirt.”

He gulped. You didn’t mean to sound so authoritatively. You helped him by lifting his arm slightly then took off the shirt.

Holy shit, you thought. He was ripped. You cleared your throat and opened the medkit.

“Just try not to move your arm.” He nodded.

You were working on his arm, but his eyes were on you. You shuddered a little feeling goosebumps all over your body. He smirked under his mask.

“I’ve never seen your face.”

“I know?”

You rolled your eyes.

“Yeah no shit. Are you going to show me?”

He shook his head. You pursed your lips in a mock sadness.

But you felt your body freeze as he pulled your bottom lip.

You swallowed hard, forgetting about his wound. He groaned, sound vibrating through his chest. You were melting.

“Oh God, sorry.”

He pulled you on his lap, pulling your legs apart with his hand. You gasped again, feeling a sensation in your lower parts.

“Ghost-“

“Hm?”

You took a deep breath and averted your eyes from him to focus on his wound.

Quickly cleaning it up then bandaging it, you looked at him.

“I’m going to wash my hands.”

He got up with you on his lap. His hands were on you thighs and your legs were hugging his waist.

“What are you doing?”

“Never letting you go.”

You licked your lips, they suddenly felt dry.

“I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry for the way I treated you. But fuck, you are something else. Fucking pain in the ass.”

You chuckled a little and he dropped you near the sink.

“Stay with me?”

You dried your hands then turned around. He was hovering over you, and you liked it.

“Let’s sleep.”

He gulped then grabbed you up in a rush.

“Ow, be careful you ass.”

He put you on to the mattress.

“Let me make it feel good, yeah?”

All of the playfulness left your face after he had said that.

“Oh fuck.”

[fitzjamesbulletwound]

if you ever wanted to hear my every thought on fitzier you're in luck because here it is! this is extremely long so it's going under the cut and if you read it all, i love you

fitzier- shame, performance, and the freeing ordeal of being known 

oh man okay here we go everyone, if this sucks or is too stupid or too anything feel free to kill me

essentially what i want to try to convey here is that the reason crozier and fitzjames go from enemies to friends to lovers is because they both see each other and see themselves in each other in a way that frightens and compels them, hence the early enmity with a tinge of familiarity and desperation to connect thrown in. with the inevitable evolution of their relationship i really think it becomes about learning to be vulnerable with one another, to give each other space to be who they need to be, both to each other and their subordinates, and finally coming to a point where fitzjames, the most performative insecure character in the story (to me), bares his entire soul to crozier, whose own character development allows him to give james the gift of acceptance and compassion in that moment. i’m not going to go episode by episode like i did with my joplittle post but this is more or less in chronological order with maybe a few exceptions idk i get possessed when i write this stuff

the first scene we’ve got to look at is of course the dinner scene. james is absolutely showboating like no other in this scene but in his body language you can see he isn’t confident at all- fidgeting, gesturing, exaggerating, the voice he tends to put on in early episodes prevalent. but when crozier interrupts him you can see for a split second that james was actually excited to get attention from him until he realizes what he’s saying. in the early episodes james craves crozier’s attention and approval so badly because he knows that crozier doesn’t bullshit and he sees things for what they are and isn’t afraid to voice that either and despite the fact that this sometimes makes james uncomfortable as it is not in line with victorian ideals of emotional expression and masculinity, i think james, given the kind of man he is at the start of the story, craves the recognition of a man who he knows would see everything in him. early early early foreshadowing and story weaving for the cairn scene where he realizes “he can tell this man anything. it is possible”

what i also find fascinating about early james and francis is that they still refer to one another in a very familiar way despite the fact that they openly dislike each other- it’s always first name basis even when they’re arguing. also interesting to note that crozier in the beginning will often call him “fitzjames” in front of others when he’s discussing him when he’s not in the room, but later on he makes sure to always use his proper title when he’s talking about him in front of the men- showing james respect even when he dislikes him. i think he doesn’t understand at the time that james’s familiarity with him is an attempt at respect as well (the whole ‘don’t ever call me francis again’ scene). it might be a stretch but i do get the sense that from the very beginning they both tried at being friendly, even just for the sake of maintaining order in command.

when francis says “here technology still bends the knee to luck james” in ep 1 he says it with almost a mentor-like cadence. like yeah they’re both being a little bitchy here but god knows franklin wasn’t giving fitzjames any real or pertinent advice about surviving and navigating the fucking arctic so i find it interesting that crozier almost gently reminds him that yeah they’re making decent progress but that it would be foolish to let their guard down

one of my favorite early fitzier scenes is after dinner when crozier, franklin, and fitzjames are all on deck and fitzjames like sidles up to crozier and looks him up and down and just goes “goodnight francis” with that smirk on his face- he was trying so hard to flirt with him while also being an insufferable bitch with “try to shake the brown study”. but also james lingers so long waiting for francis to say something to him and then shakes his head and walks away to go bitch to franklin about him- i think he is truly hurt in this instance along with being angry and annoyed. and i love that complication because on one hand, i do think that fitzjames thinks that crozier owes him friendship or at the very least recognition because of who james believes himself to be, or at least who he’s trying to be- like he DOES probably see crozier as being beneath him as an irishman but i do think he genuinely wants his friendship and approval as well, for self serving reasons but not entirely. it’s about fitzjames and his desire to be seen by everyone around him in a certain light but also about his desire to be seen specifically by crozier because of who crozier is and how he acts in contrast to everyone else around them

next on the agenda is “dramatic opening shot”... fitzjames girl you are the most dramatic man in the fucking room. the projection is crazy. what this scene reveals most importantly i think is that another thing about francis that james is secretly very envious of is his ability to openly disagree with franklin. there are so many moments later on where you can see that james doesn’t fully believe in what franklin is saying or commanding (the way he looks at him when they realize they are trapped in the pack, the ways he looks at him when he tells fitzjames to escort silna off of erebus right after her father has died) and i think that he envies francis’s ability to challenge franklin and not care what the consequences are. anyway the staredown during this scene is crazy, the tension??

moving on… beginning of ep 1 crozier says “not if fitzjames is with us” in reference to jop saying dinner will be over before he knows it, and at the beginning of ep 2 fitzjames says “do you think francis will honor us with his presence today”- for two people who allegedly hate each other they sure do think about each other and find reasons to bring each other up in conversation a lot! 

ahh the scene with silna’s father- fitzjames is so interesting to me in this scene and really illustrates one of my favorite things about him in the earlier episodes which is that when he goes silent his face journeys are amazing and really convey his true feelings that he won’t say out loud for various reasons. he watches crozier so much in this scene and looks to him for understanding and guidance which is also interesting because i do think that in this scene he’s watching silna, a woman who he probably sees as subhuman and alien, reacting with such grief and tenderness to her father’s death and probably thinking of his relationship with his own father. i know a lot of people speculate that he was just feeling empathy for her there and i do think that’s part of it but i think that to show that in his mind would be to out himself as being “not fully english”. i think i make this point later on in the story too but fitzjames really does that classic white supremacist thing of distancing yourself from “otherness” in order to align yourself with imperialist beliefs and status- he does it with silna and he does it with crozier. sorry this is also turning into my fitzjames character study lol.

the scene where crozier walks out after his big blow up with franklin… i get that james really didn’t have any place to try to hide the fact that he was eavesdropping but i find it so interesting that he decides to turn to face francis and look him directly in the eye. from what we can see of his expression i personally think there was at least a small amount of sympathy there. another attempt to extend friendship and familiarity while actively participating in crozier’s humiliation… god i hate him lol. and the face that james is making when francis first walks out before he turns around is contemplative, not like smug or triumphant or anything like we might expect given how much he seems to dislike crozier at this point. and francis looking back at him… there’s no anger there, just sadness and humiliation and it sucks. i would truly do anything to be able to see james’s face there, in the script it says that crozier can tell how much james heard from the look on his face which like??? could mean so much.

okay the face journey when francis walks into the erebus wardroom after sir john dies… his eyes stay on fitzjames who’s obviously extremely distraught and i wonder if crozier has ever seen fitzjames show genuine emotion up until this point? crozier then looks to blanky, who also looks to fitzjames almost as if to say “look at him, attend to him” and the sorrow and vulnerability on francis’s face when he looks again to james who is of course also showing a vulnerability we haven’t seen from him before. i love the note in the script that fitzjames isn’t used to being this candid or vulnerable in front of a man he doesn’t respect but he does it anyway. and i don’t think he knows how much sympathy crozier does have for him despite how callous he may come across when he says to send out the rescue parties. they both just fail so spectacularly at communication and expression early on, it’s crazy to see

when francis begins reading from the eulogy and stumbles over his words fitzjames gives him a very sharp look… i think he clocks his alcoholism starting to really affect him right away but may also be looking to see if the stumble is due to emotion or the alcohol. ugh and the look he gives him at the end too… it’s so piercing and there’s an anger to it as well. almost a “please prove me wrong but i don’t believe at this point that you will”. because for better or worse now they are linked, intertwined, married and they have to find a way to make it work.

ohhhh the fitzier dinner scene my beloved… “as i climbed the ridge” is such a parallel to james’s chinese sniper story scene!! AND this time it’s fitzjames who derisively interrupts crozier. The parallels, the callbacks… the look he gives fitzjames is crazy when fitzjames says “you should curb that for now” but what i find the most interesting about this scene is that the script makes a point to say that fitzjames was being sincere when he said that to crozier- there is care and concern there underneath the frustration and anger. and then it’s also wild that in that moment, fitzjames clearly reminds crozier of sophia. the way the narrative almost shifts to replace crozier’s love interest (sophia) with his burgeoning relationship with fitzjames is soooooo. i just love this scene because they are both trying so hard to be vulnerable and open with one another but they are both failing so spectacularly just like in the scene after sir john dies. they don’t have the respect and rapport between them yet to back up what they desperately want from each other- a connection. a camaraderie. leadership and capability. fitzjames tries to be sincere in his concern for francis but it is overshadowed by his frustration and anger towards what he views to be a sour outlook from crozier, and crozier attempts to be vulnerable with james by sharing about sophia only to be met with the knowledge that franklin has humiliated him yet again by discussing that topic with other people aboard the ship. and i think fitzjames does truly pity francis in that moment but it also frustrates him that that is the reason he’s here, for love, not for a yearning for adventure or glory- which i would venture to say is why fitzjames is there. fitzjames went on the expedition to prove his worth and francis went for love and they both ended up finding exactly those things from one another i’m dead.

oh and also why the fuck does fitzjames arch his slutty back against the wall when francis walks out of the room like that one scene in hannibal y’all know what i’m talking about. okay and i forgot about the way fitzjames jabs his finger at francis all up in his personal space which is just so unlike him. it is also worth noting that francis doesn’t get angry at this- he actually stills for a second and then continues to tell james what he was going to tell him. again there’s that strange familiarity they have despite the fact that they hate each other at this point. and that’s to say nothing of how they’re sitting in the first place which is so close to each other idk it just seems a little crazy to me?

i also find it so so interesting how james chooses to be honest with francis once he accidentally reveals that franklin discussed the whole sophia thing with him- he could’ve deflected and said like “oh yeah he mentioned it in passing’ or something like that but he chose to tell francis the truth of the conversation! francis really brings out an honest and candid side to james that we don’t see him put on for anyone else and i think it’s because deep down he knows that no matter how shitty, francis is always going to respect being told the truth vs. all of the obfuscating language that is so typical of the time. i think this is also why in the next episode francis insists that everyone leaves after he punches fitzjames and fitzjames is very resigned to it as well- they both know that it’s going to be ugly but they both want to hash out the truth of the situation for better or worse- like yeah they are at each other’s throats and they want the catharsis of screaming at each other because they’re so mad at each other here but i also think they crave honesty and candidness in their interactions- james because he feels like a fake and francis because it’s his nature- but both because it’s what they want from each other. and back to the dinner scene- just another look of genuine hurt from fitzjames when crozier says “keep your pity” plus the whole reason crozier even says that- i don’t think he expects pity from anyone at this point and doesn’t know how to respond to it.

in the scene where fitzjames says they should question silna about the creature crozier makes a point to say he agrees with him- he does this a couple of different times throughout the show and i think it’s a very small but important detail about how even when they aren’t on the best terms he makes sure to show james respect in front of the officers. and like yeah they end up yelling at each other here but i think that’s more james’s grief showing (again he shows emotion in front of/because of francis) and francis’s stress showing as well- that “we’re all exhausted” is very aimed at james but also an attempt to explain his own state of mind. they’re trying!!!!

the lashing scene- i don’t think we’ve ever seen fitzjames actually afraid of crozier but he definitely is here. he’s clenching his hands so hard throughout the whole scene and he keeps glancing at crozier as he allows the lashing to go on and even nervously gulps at one point. i think this along with crozier’s worsening addiction is a huge catalyst for where we find them and their dynamic in ep 5.

and speaking of which- at the beginning of the episode you can really see how their communication has just completely broken down. edward is basically bridging the gap between them and the resentment is growing. i know that the alcoholism is part of it, we can only assume that fitzjames started to keep his distance once he could tell it was getting bad, but i also think a lot of this is fall out from the lashing and how it affected the way fitzjames felt about crozier as stated earlier. and another aspect of the widening gap between fitzjames and crozier is how erebus is the very picture of order while terror is literally and figuratively falling apart 

the fact that fitzjames told collins to watch out for crozier running out of alcohol on terror is further evidence that fitzjames was around a bit to witness crozier’s alcoholism getting really bad and isolated himself after that. he’s angry but he knows it was coming

ugh man the fight scene- the fact that james came himself, alone, to terror to talk to francis as a friend (straight from his own mouth in the script of their argument) about the alcohol issue. even though james is furious and stressed and shouldering the whole expedition, he still attempts to care for francis, it just ends up blowing up in his face and that’s when he lashes out. the way he says “francis” at first before crozier freaks out on him is in such a sincere and gentle tone and just the fucking genuine hurt in his face and his tone of voice when francis tells him to never call him by his first name again. fitzjames cared when francis was at his fucking lowest but still held him responsible and that’s love baby.

the body language is crazy when they’re yelling at each other or i guess when fitzjames is reading francis lol- and the way crozier can’t take his eyes off fitzjames when he’s telling everyone to get out. he’s so ready for this fucking throw down because both of them have been holding this in for so long. crozier is amped up but fitzjames is resigned to finally getting it all out in the open. he wants it to happen and he knows it needs to. even after getting punched in the mouth by him (i don’t think it’s any accident that fitzjames literally bears a scar from that punch and that it comes back open when he’s dying of scurvy) fitzjames still calmly tells everyone yes get out and says what he needs to say. i love the transcript of their argument because it’s so brutal but it really illustrates a kind of fucked up intimacy that we aren’t 100% privy to between them. crozier knows exactly what to say to james to hurt him- telling him he doesn’t have friends, he has admirers and that james has always been mad that he isn’t one, that james is a coward despite the fact that james is facing this down no matter what it takes in order to literally save crozier’s life; and james knows that all he can do is soldier through and lay the truth of what is happening on francis in a way no one else has dared to except for silna minutes before. james really goes out of his comfort zone- being honest and sincere and vulnerable for the sake of the expedition but also for francis. and i’m reading this back and wondering if i’m being too generous to james here but tbh he had every right to be this angry at francis at this point in the story! 

ha fitzjames walks into the “i need to dry out meeting” looking all submissive and contrite… but for real his face is so open and entreating in this scene. he’s still annoyed but he wants so badly for things to go right. and you can see in francis’s expression that he is so ashamed to have to ask him 

mmm and part of fitzjames coming to love and respect crozier is seeing jopson’s devotion to him in this scene… he’s never seen crozier be admired the way franklin was and i think this is a whole new way for him to see him. and just in general here i think that james “reshuffles everything he thought about the man” and he admires crozier for the way he put his humility and vulnerability in front of him finally and admitted to his wrongs, something i also don’t think franklin would ever do and didn’t ever do, to his and the entire crew’s demise. fitzjames followed franklin and looked up to him in the pursuit of his own vanity and the narrative he tells himself to cover the shame, but he learns to respect and love francis because he watches his evolution as a captain and as a man without any of the obfuscating that he’s used to from authority figures. he watches francis claw his way out of his own shame, the shame that drives him forward and i wonder what kind of ideas that gave fitzjames and how it influenced his own decision to share everything about his past with francis later

what i love about the opening scene of ep 6 is that we see how fitzjames’s leadership has been influenced by franklin and francis but specifically how he is acting more like francis- he does do a little bit of the whole “how dare you bring up anything unpleasant” thing when he yells at jirv for mentioning the number of men and when he does the whole “oh it’s just winter, we’ll feel better with the first sunrise, encourage the men with that” thing but it’s interesting because although we’re hearing echoes of franklin here, fitzjames is still trying to be more honest and open to feedback than franklin was. he doesn’t exactly take jirv’s advice on rationing but he does ration a bit. he is doing the whole toxic positivity thing with his “use that to encourage the men” line but he is also recognizing how hard everything has been for everyone and using an actual tangible event to lift spirits rather than referring to meaningless bullshit about god and country. and the simple fact that he seeks blanky’s advice and knowledge is more than sir john would ever have done in a scenario like this. he understands from blanky’s story about ross that he himself hasn’t been doing enough to combat the horror of their situation for the men, he understands that he must do more. even the way he asks ‘what do you mean’ when blanky says ross had no sympathy for the ill. to not care for the ill is an alien concept to him. tt’s so interesting because fitzjames occupies a space not dissimilar to francis’s- he has access and power in the hierarchy of the discovery service but, within his own mind, he is still an outsider. crozier on the other hand is a visible and tangible outsider due to his birth and his nationality. everyone can see it and i think that’s also part of why fitzjames is so antagonistic towards francis in the beginning- the projection goes crazy and in the true spirit of colonialism and white supremacy, james believes that if he can make himself as far apart from someone like francis as possible and align himself with men like franklin and barrow despite sharing way more similarities with francis than he does with them, he can succeed in upholding himself as the vision of victorian masculinity and social worthiness that he so desperately tries to emulate- this is what i was thinking about during the scene with silna’s father where he’s reluctant to fully show his (partial) sympathy to her

the line from the script that kills me is when it says a clock has begun for fitzjames once he discovers the blood in his hair… god it kills me, he knew he was dying for months. for literal months and who knows if he even told anyone but… i do think he had to have told francis at some point. it makes me so sick, it’s literally why the cairn walk scene happens- he knew he was dying, he knew it and one of the last things he wanted before he died was for someone to see him, truly see him flaws and mistakes and vanity and all before he died. and he wanted that person to be francis

gotta include the scene where james tells edward that francis was right about walking out- this is a huge turning point from ep 1

it’s so funny that when crozier and fitzjames see each other at carnival you can tell james is like “oh shit i’m in trouble” but crozier is just slightly amused seeing him like that and even though he finds the carnival strange and sees how reckless it was, he doesn’t chide james or the men about it even though that’s cleary what james is expecting. crozier empathizes with their longing for home and their need to do something happy and uses that momentum to tell the men about walking out and doing his best to reassure them about their chances. the way fitzjames looks up at him and nods along with him- i don’t think we’ve seen fitzjames look at him like that yet up until this point. he is seeing francis for who he can be as a competent captain and we are seeing crozier really step into that role. i also think that francis was relieved that fitzjames saw the urgency in walking out and that he wasn’t going to have to convince him the way he would’ve had to convince franklin. their leadership is finally syncing up here, built on humility (francis admitting he had an addiction and choosing to do something about it, fitzjames admitting how wrong he was about francis and his use of caution and logic) and respect (i do think crozier respected fitzjames for trying to build morale to the best of his ability and i think fitzjames respected francis finally behaving like the captain he needed him to be) 

during the fire there’s a small moment where james is frozen- no doubt from ptsd which he deserves- and francis sends him ahead to look for an exit, telling him to go. he fucking loves him!!!!

poor fitzjames.. like yes the ghosts of his colonial past and all that of course which i will never not fully support him being subjected to but damn. and i don’t think he shrugs francis off because it’s francis or because he’s angry with them, he is punishing himself and francis sees that and lets him do what will help ease his own guilt and pain. tt is a moment of understanding between them i believe- fitzjames showing vulnerability in front of a man he now respects while adding another failure to his own personal checklist he keeps against himself (i can only imagine he does anyway). francis’s attempt to show him care and understanding while not undercutting his usefulness is also such an inspired choice for what he knows of fitzjames. you can really see the care starting to sprout between them here. i can only imagine what the rest of the winter was like but i feel like by episode 7, their dynamic has just completely changed, their entire vibe is different. and their love couldn’t have happened until they left the ships so it came at the worst and best time. 

and by ep 7 their dynamic has just so completely shifted. even the fact that they are supervising the packing for the walk together and this may be real delusional hours but sending edward ahead to make the first camp instead of one of them going is a little interesting to me. i believe he’s technically the next in line for leadership after fitzjames but like did francis and james want to spend time together? with crozier finally dried out and knowing james’s time is almost up? them finally in a comfortable and friendly place? i love their conversation during the packing scene because fitzjames is voicing a concern to francis who calmly explains his reasoning and when fitzjames continues to press his own doubts they remain civil, familiar, acknowledge one another’s thought processes etc. a scene like this could NEVER have happened in episode 1 or 2. i looooong to know what they were like together during the winter after carnival 

you all know i am INSANE about the fitzier hand holding scene, no one can match my freak on this. tt makes my stomach flutter every time i see it. it is my pride and prejudice hand clenching scene. first i want to acknowledge the quote from the script- “at one point, the only thing keeping fitzjames from sliding back into oblivion is crozier’s hand, but half the importance about the act is that fitzjames reached for it.” this KILLS me more than anything else from the script. and honestly at this point in the story i am becoming convinced that james told crozier about the scurvy, they knew the whole fucking time, they knew. they are literally marching to their deaths, against all odds still going, still trying and they are falling in love. the way james gazes up at francis in awe when he sees the offered hand and doesn’t stop looking at francis when he is up on the ridge. crozier doesn’t even turn to look at james, but he does make sure to stop and wait for him and extend the hand that he knows that james needs. Based on honestly even just this alone i am convinced that crozier knew about the scurvy already. there’s no fucking way he didn’t. and then the way james grabs francis’s jacket and holds on while they stare at each other, crozier smiling- it’s so interesting to me because it very much tells of finding an excuse to touch crozier again, as if he was so in awe of the touch that crozier initiated a few minutes before that he needed it again. he was trying to find a way to touch him again in that “this has to be acceptable by victorian standards of emotional and loving expression” way. and crozier accepts it! he smiles, he meets his gaze. there’s triumph there. and don’t think i didn’t fucking notice that the hand that francis keeps is the hand that held fitzjames’s hand and that also held his face when he was dying.

in the scene with morfin, as soon as crozier notices that james is there he makes sure to maneuver over to james so he can place himself between james and the gun despite the fact that he is unarmed and james has his pistol with him. i don’t necessarily doubt that francis would do this earlier in the story but i can say that he does this here as a selfless act of love and protection 

and then the jop promotion scene yay the way james looks at francis with admiration and curiosity when he hands him the promotion letter to sign and the way james smiles at him when he reads it but not just because of that- but because of the words francis uses and the way francis is looking at him, saying someone “has earned our respect (looks to james), trust” and fitzjames smiles and nods- it’s not just about agreeing with him about jopson. this is how fitzjames feels about crozier now and the fact that crozier even in this small subtle way acknowledges that he  DID need to prove himself to james after his behavior during the winter. their dynamic is just so much different now! at the end when everyone is shaking jopson’s hand, fitzjames gives crozier like… the most insane loving soft look… he looks so so happy. i don’t think we’ve ever seen him look like that before.

and now we are at the cairn walk. i again have to say how during this rewatch i become convinced of the knowledge that crozier has to know that fitzjames is dying. there’s just no way he doesn’t. the conversation they have about it does not convey that james is telling him this for the first time. tt more so implies that they both know but don’t speak of it often and james is updating francis with the vital information, the stages he’s at. what made fitzier happen was them leaving the boats, james dying, crozier getting sober, them both laying it all out on the table in different moments of vulnerability- crozier with his addiction, james with his heritage. the way those scenes parallel each other is actually crazy. james is fucking dying, they are all marching to their deaths and the knowledge that they are doing so is slowly sinking in, and all james wanted before he died was for crozier to see him, all of him. even the parts he was afraid to tell anyone, even himself. and francis isn’t even granting him a mercy, he isn’t sparing his feelings. he truly and genuinely accepts james for who he is, how he came to be a part of the expedition. they have both known from the start that beginnings and heritage don’t matter, it’s the actions that people take that makes them who they are. in different ways they both knew that and i think it’s part of what aligned them eventually. and from the script- james realizes he can say anything to this man. it is possible. crozier gives him the space to do it. and just the way they’re laughing and joking and being light with each other- another thing we never would’ve seen in the earlier episodes. okay focusing on some details now- when crozier says “that’s not how i see you” james literally stumbles as if he can’t believe crozier would say that to him. in the beginning of the scene francis gives james space and privacy when he sees him getting emotional about graham and franklin’s deaths and struggling to remember the date of sir john’s death. they communicate with a single glance there, james asking for a moment and crozier giving it to him. the grief on francis’s face when james tells him his latest symptoms. when crozier initially tries to comfort and encourage james… and james can’t accept it because he hasn’t told him everything yet. he doesn’t know if he can. i don’t want to get personal but that feeling that if you only tell part of your hidden sorrow to someone and they comfort and accept you and show you kindness, that feeling you then get that no no no you don’t know the whole of it and if you did you wouldn’t be showing me this kindness, you wouldn’t love me, you wouldn’t respect me. you wouldn’t see me. i genuinely can’t imagine the relief that fitzjames felt when he told francis it all, he told him everything and all francis gave back was love. also we can finally start to really see the bruise that francis gave fitzjames in ep 5. i love when fitzjames literally and metaphorically closes the gap between them. and francis waits for him until he is by his side again. “are we brothers francis” the tears, the attempt to laugh/smile them away until he sees that crozier is with him in this moment and taking it as seriously as it deserves to be. again the joining of the hands, the one that crozier keeps. they look at each other’s mouths, into each other’s eyes, the way francis dips his head to look at fitzjames when fitzjames ducks his emotionally. it’s insanity

when they get back to camp and listen to hodgson’s story and then go to see jirv’s body, they exchange a lot of glances, specifically around the times that hodgson mentions hickey- they are of one mind on him and on how the situation actually played out. james also watches francis a lot in the scene where they go to see jirv’s body. he looks to him for leadership now and doesn’t become irritated by his anger or his candor. this really persists for the rest of the episode - in the scene where crozier is yelling at edward about supplementing the marines all james has to say is “francis” and then basically talks him down from yelling at edward more, another scene i don’t think could have ever happened between them earlier in the story but james knows how to quell francis now. and this is such an interesting parallel to ep 5 when everyone was taking their shit out on edward; this time fitzjames protects him. but anyway- james and francis are just so in sync in every scene in this episode- they back each other up, communicate through glances, emphasize each other’s words and authority. yay<3 

all right you’re all going to have to bear with me on ep 9 because it makes me crazy.

we gotta start with the fucking grief and pain in both of their expressions when they’re taking care of pocock and how this scene itself foreshadows the assisted suicide later

the look of absolute love and faith from fitzjames when crozier is telling them they will keep marching south and the “more than god loves them” scene- this is francis at his most captainly- and james is echoing his hollow vanity stricken words about franklin but really really meaning them about crozier- he says them to no one but himself, there is no performance here and crozier’s words aren’t a false display of empathy and care like franklin’s were for david young and fitzjames sees this. 

fitzjame and crozier are hauling in front side by side- it makes a point to mention that in the script too.

when fitzjames falls… ugh. he hauled until he couldn’t anymore, direct call back to when blanky said ross sat atop the sledges- oh and when francis and fitzjames were caring for pocock together vs ross having no sympathy for illness. when james falls he reaches for crozier without even looking at him at first and you can hear crozier saying “it’s all right, it’s all right” when james is saying he can’t stand the heat. dundy and bridgens are lifting fitzjames up too but when he stumbles, when he reveals his wound, when he stumbles again, he is only looking at crozier the whole time. and the look on crozier’s face is one i don’t think we’ve seen from him yet. i noticed too that he’s holding onto fitzjames with his left arm and rubbing his back with the other before he takes the rope off of him. 

i want to say about the following scene where james is laid up in the boat that i made a joke once to my friend about when crozier reaches into the boat and how it looks like they’re holding hands- but they actually are, it’s in the script. there’s just something about crozier’s face when he talks to fitzjames in later episodes, there’s such a softening of the edges to him, his expression is less guarded and more attentive and earnest. and the call back to their first scene together with the chinese sniper story…. the fucking fondness in both of their eyes as they laugh together, which was probably james’s last time laughing. when crozier says “there’s time” but that’s the tragedy of this show- there’s never enough time. everything happens too late.

james screaming in pain and crozier running to him and barely letting bridgens finish his sentence before he tells them to camp here also in the script during the officer’s meeting right after, they can hear fitzjames screaming in his tent :( i’m honestly kinda glad they left that out.

and here we are at THE fitzier scene. i could talk for hours about this scene. francis is holding james’s hand, rubbing his shoulder. james looks so young and frail and scared here and he uses some of his last words to tell francis he wanted him to live because he knew he wouldn’t be around to tell him that anymore soon. francis shaking his head when he says it as if to say “not without you”. in the script, when bridgens leaves it says ‘he looks at crozier. he looks at fitzjames. he understands”... and later during james’s funeral when crozier says that he had a service with james, just the two of them, peglar and bridgens exchange a very interesting, knowing look. to choose those two to react that way? idk man. fitzier real. but back to the scene- god okay crozier taps james’s chest twice in question and then just barely audible fitzjames says “please”. ugh the sad smile crozier gives fitzjames before he gives him the drug… then he places his hand, the one that crozier doesn’t lose, so gently and lovingly on james’s face, and even in his current state james looks almost taken aback at the gesture. when crozier tips the drug into his mouth his expression softens. i will never ever in my life forget the way james looks at crozier in that moment, the look of gratitude, love, farewell, of pain, longing, childlike fear. (nobody is doing it like tobias). crozier ever so lightly brushing james’s lips with both of his thumbs before he begins to massage it down and carefully wiping the excess away. they never stop looking at each other. dave k said that the service that crozier mentions happened before fitzjames dies and after crozier gives him the drug.

the last thing i want to say about the james death scene is that i was never that invested in the concept of cannibalism as a metaphor for love but fitzjames asking crozier to eat his body and live really really stuck in my brain- just their entire insane journey that i’ve been sitting here thinking about for months- acquaintances to enemies to allies to friends to lovers for it all to culminate in this final scene of fitzjames begging crozier to eat from his body and begging him to give him the final kiss of death all as crozier never once looks away or lets go of him. fitzjames loved him so much he was willing for crozier to desecrate his corpse if it meant francis would live, even without him next to him but crozier loved him so much that he couldn’t do it, he couldn’t add that act to his already impossibly devoted actions.

and the action of hiding james’s body because crozier doesn’t want tuunbaq to destroy it but then it turns out that someone at the very funeral ends up leading the mutineers to tear fitzjames’s body apart themselves. just like jirv not getting to keep the final gift of the seal meat even in death, crozier couldn’t do james this one last mercy even though he tried desperately to. 

and this last part is a bit of a stretch but okay-along with the shirt and the gloves of fitzjames’s that crozier is wearing after his death i think he might be wearing his little neck thing too, so sorry y’all i do not know what it’s called and i’m locked in trying to finish this and i’m not googling it lol. but we see fitzjames wear it a lot throughout the show and francis does sometimes but it’s very much a fitzjames piece so i think it might be his too. and with the funeral scene and the blanky scene, we see the mismatched gloves clearly for the first time but i’m pretty sure the first glimpse is earlier in the episode when they’re hauling before fitzjames collapses. dave k still confirmed they had switched gloves but it really seems that this happened before james died, likely when they left terror camp. i still contend that crozier and fitzjames both knew james was dying and this may have been why they did it. 

and on to the last episode and closing thoughts- in the last ep i was really keeping track of the gloves- he loses them at some point and i wanted to see when and it’s between the scene where he talks to hickey and when he’s chained back up in the tent with diggle. i hope he somehow hung on to them.

i will never forget how my stomach dropped out when i saw hickey wearing fitzjames’s boots on my first watch- the fucking sorrow in crozier’s face. he doesn’t understand the meaning just yet  but when goodsir is cleaning his wounds and tells him they ate gibson, you can see crozier put it together that that’s why hickey has fitzjames’s boots. his expression turns from shock and grief to rage.

hickey really clocked crozier with the shame comment and you can see how it triggers crozier. this is a great confirmation because it really pervades the story and fitzjames’s story as well. they are both driven by shame, by a need to prove themselves but go about it in completely different ways. fitzjames is all bravado, flowery empty words and boasting to cover his origins, his feelings of inadequacy. he aligns himself with the empire and with those in power and distances himself from anyone he knows will be deemed lesser than in the hierarchy in which he exists and specifically pits himself against someone like crozier in order to bolster his own social standing. crozier on the other hand is hardened to his station, he has no way to hide his nationality or his origins no matter how capable he is and how long he’s been going to sea. crozier feels the shame of things like sophia’s rejection and not having straights that they sail named after him but hides it with his bluntness and his lack of decorum when pointing out the truth of a situation. james has everything crozier wishes he did, but crozier is something that james wishes he could be- just himself, despite his societal ineptitudes and barriers. i believe that this basis and the way it melds and breaks down and comes to a way of understanding between them is why fitzier is so strong, and so real and so visceral, especially at the end. honestly there is so much more i could say but i think i’m going to leave it there and just saw that i hope crozier thinks of james from time to time in his new life. i find it hard to believe he doesn’t.

[night-daily]

Jealousy jealousy | Peter Parker x fem! reader

Summary: 3 times where Peter hears you fangirling over Spiderman and one time he finally explodes.

warnings: none.

a/n: enjoy and let me know if there's any mistakes please!:)

The first time, he overheard you talking to your friends, was an accident, he didn't on purpose it just happens every time he sees you, he has no control over his senses. And he doesn't realize he's eavesdropping until you say something that brings him back to reality.

“... I think he's hot.” whoa, were you talking about him? Nice. “I mean, have you seen how athletic he is?” fuck, it wasn't him. Yeah, he participates in P.E class but he has to pretend he isn't good at it so you or anyone else wouldn't get suspicious. So it couldn't be him.

Peter turned his face away from you, feeling insecure. You were dumping him? Who was this guy?

“Hey, what are we talking about?” One of your friends came to the table you and your friends were eating.

And of course, Peter needed to hear the name of the guy.

''I'm masochistic?''

“Spider man!” You exclaimed with a smirk on your face making your friends groan. His heart stopped for a second. “Again?” Your friend rolled playfully her eyes to you. And you nodded with your head cheerily.

Peter felt his body relax at your words. So you like Spider man uh? Only if you knew Spider man likes you too.

The second time, the two of you are in his room, he sitting at his desk doing homework while you are doing yours in his bed. Well, you got bored doing the homework so now you were just rambling stuff about your classes, your friends, and...

“Hey, have you heard about Spider man?” Peter's body froze. “You know, the Superhero.” He hums in agreement, incapable to make a comment. “I heard some people show up at the crime scenes just to watch him in action.” And Peter dislike that people, they could get hurt and they didn't even care, and for what? just to watch him? “Yeah, that's crazy.” He expected you to agree with him, but you were quiet. “That's crazy, right?” He turns his chair to look at you, but you were avoiding his eyes. “... I don't know, to be honest, I would like to watch him in person too, even a glimpse of him.” Now he was seeing red. Why would you do that? Why would you put your life in danger for someone who you don't even know? Why would you do that for Spider man?

He couldn't help but feel a hole in his chest, it was a heavy and ugly feeling, he had never felt something like that. Jealousy. “What’s so good about him, anyway?” Peter muttered, turning himself, and ignoring the smile that crept across your face.

The third time, you were getting ready to hang out with your friends at the new coffee shop, doing your makeup you saw Peter through the mirror leaning against the doorframe of your room.

“Take a picture, it'll last longer.” your teasing smile sent butterflies to his stomach. “Why would I want a picture? If I have you all for myself.” He came closer to you from behind your back, placing kisses on your naked shoulder. “Oh, you're lucky that I haven't met Spider man then.” He stopped kissing your shoulder “Please, go with him if you like him so much” You turned your face to him. “I'm kidding Pete, I already have you and I love you so much.” You squeezed his hand. “Also, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't notice me, I bet he dates models”

He didn't know why he was more upset, you doubting how beautiful you are or assuming that Spider man wouldn't notice you. But you were wrong in both assumptions.

“You are the fucking prettiest girl I've ever met and anyone would be so lucky to share the same oxygen you breathe because I know I am.” And he smashed your lips, it was a passive-aggressive kiss. “I'm lucky too.”

And the one time he finally explodes, Peter was resting in his bed after a long night patrol when you crossed the door excitedly.

“PETER YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT” Oh, sure he did. “What happened, love?” He played fool. “So, remember when you dropped me at the corner of the street? Well, guess what!?” You made it a short pause not giving him the chance to respond “SPIDER MAN WAS THERE TOO” He gasped. “No way!” You grabbed your phone and unlocked it “AND HE GAVE ME FLOWERS. NOT JUST THAT, TULIPS, MY FAVORITES” You showed him the photos of you and your tulips, you looked so happy and that makes him happy too. “He shouldn’t go after other people’s girlfriends” He half-joked. You laughed “Maybe after all you have a rival” He wasn't smiling anymore “I mean, who gifts tulips to a complete stranger? Maybe he likes me? OH MY GOD, SPIDER MAN LIKES ME! WOULD YOU IMAGINE US TOGE-” “Babe, I'm Spider man!” Peter cuts you off. He couldn't stand anymore hear you falling for Spider man. But how would you react? Would you hate him for keeping it secret?

“I knew it!” He was shocked “Wait, what?” you shrugged “Honey, you aren't that subtle.” Now, if you knew it, why you had never told anything to him? “I never told you anything because I kind of enjoy you being like this and I want to know how much you could take it before admitting you were jealous and you were Spider man.” Peter blushed “I never would have thought I’d ever be jealous about me.” You winked at him “Oh, jealousy looks good on you.”

[niyana-the-ambiguous-mobian]

Since you did the angst headcanons for Movie Shadow, do you have any sweet and wholesome ones, to even the scale?

Even the scale, you say? Challenge accepted.

Link to the angst headcanons if anyone is interested: LINK

Pre-Sonic 3

Before Maria had met him, Shadow had only used nonverbal expressions to communicate with Gerald and the other scientists. She helped him learn basic letters and numbers and even taught him how to speak by teaching how to say "yes" or "no" to questions, asking how he feels about an activity they did together, even finding his favorite type of music he likes to listen to with him humming along with the beat and singing the lyrics.

The start of Shadow’s addiction to coffee beans was completely on accident. Basically, Gerald left his unbrewed coffee on the counter, Shadow got curious, took a few of them, and nibbled on them. Next thing you know, the entire can was empty, and he was sitting on the floor trying to tear open the already empty can to get to the crumbs.

One of the reasons why the blanket tent was always up in the main room of Gerald's quarters was because Shadow liked to sleep underneath it whenever he would feel the need to sleep. The little nest of blankets and warm color glow of the lights brought him relaxing comfort to where he'll actually sleep soundly for a while. You'll just walk past it, and you could hear soft snoring and seeing his air shoes sticking out on the floor.

He used to go with the random dance sessions because it made Maria happy, but he actually did find the fun in it once they started dancing more and more as time went on.

Due to knowing how much being in the lab and being experimented on makes him feel depressed, Maria will try to get him out of them each time with her own plan. They wouldn't always work, but he was grateful when they would

After the notorious drawing Maria drew on his lab tube, he wanted to try and draw it as well and would practice drawing the shape and other details over and over until he matched Maria's drawing. Best to say, a lot of paper was used.

He absolutely dislikes laser pointers. Maria could never figure out why, but she tried to see what he thought, pointed the laser at the ground, and it sent him running away at near Mach speed to get away from it. Gerald tossed it out immediately afterward.

Even though he's not much of an eater for food in general, he will partake in Maria's annual snack heist. They would go and sneak into the kitchens when it's quiet and snatch whatever interests them and rush back to her room. Most of the stuff he would get was for her since he knew what her favorites were.

Shadow was the one who made the friendship bracelets Maria wears in the flashbacks. It took some difficulty due to his fingers being bigger, but he managed to get it down and gave it to her as a gift.

He is the #1 hide and seek champion on the base. Finding Maria was always easy and quick, but she always had trouble finding him due to him being able to hide pretty much anywhere. Although, there were times he would just walk closely in the back of her and move around her whenever she would move just because he found it humorous.

He is a bit of a cuddle bug, not too bad, but once Maria introduced him to the art of snuggles and cuddles, he will seek them out if he is touchstarved enough.

As much as he doesn't want to admit it, he loves it when Maria gives him forehead kisses. Whether it's in a tender way or an over-the-top goofy fashion, he likes the affection. Based on the artwork made by @butterflyscribbles

Another thing he likes to do is listen to the sounds of rain. Whenever he gets near the entrance of the facility or goes to a part of the site where he can hear it easily and would listen to it for as long as the rain would fall.

One of Shadow’s weaknesses that only Maria fortunately knew about was that he is pretty ticklish on his sides. She found out on complete accident, helping him try to brush his fur after he had trouble doing it himself.

He was confused about how it worked until she explained to the best of her ability on how it worked, with Gerald filling in the rest for him. Although she had successfully launched a few surprise attacks on him, he would launch a counterattack thanks to Gerald giving him some pointers if she ever tried to tickle him randomly.

Speaking of counterattacks, he totally raged waged war via popcorn after that one time she flicked a piece at him during their movie watch.

Post-Sonic 3

When he eventually recovers after the events of Sonic 3, he wanders around the countryside. Looking at landscapes of nature, watching the animals as they live in the environments and stargazing.

There were times he came upon small towns as he wandered and contemplated exposing himself to the humans, but decided against it due to him still not trusting anyone he fully knew from before.

He eventually makes his way into the state of Idaho and stays there for a while.

During this time, he ends up accidentally befriending a little stray cat after he sees it in an alley and swipes some meat from a nearby deli to give it some food. Due to this action, the kitty imprints on him almost instantly and doesn't leave him alone.

He tries to get it to leave him alone, even teleporting a far distance away from it so he doesn't have to harm it, but somehow the kitty ends up tracking him down and constantly stays by him.

Much to his genuine surprise, Shadow actually gets accustomed to the cat's company and decides to care for her at the best of his ability, even giving her the nickname of "Motor" due to her purring reminding him of a motorcycle engine.

[urlocalboynoah]

Hi! May I request Ultra Magnus (tfp) having to watch Jack, Miko and Raf for a day, being forced to play a board game and to the surprise of everyone getting very invested in it?

☆彡彡 ᴡᴇʟᴄᴏᴍᴇ ミミ☆

Hi !! I'd be more than happy to provide you with some content! AS MUCH AS I DISLIKE THIS BOT (joke, kinda, he's just old..) I think he's interesting to work with. So, here we go ! I apologize if this isn't perfect, it's my first time posting something I've wrote before. It'll be a small fic, let me know what you think of it !

¹ ❥ ☆ Mini Fic

² ♰ Transformers Prime

³ ˋˋ SFW ☆

Just one game !

“ Here is her guitar, her hairbrush, drawing book and all her drawing stuff. ”

Bulkhead pointed out each element as he spoke, making sure of Ultra Magnus following his exact directions. The ex-leader looked at the Wrecker confused, raising an eyebrow. He seemed to be wondering what could go so wrong with such tiny humans, and why the big bot felt so anxious at the idea of leaving Miko behind. He thought he was certainly being overdramatic.

“ that should be everything.. I need to go, they're gonna wait for me. ”

Bulkhead simply added before quickly waving Miko goodbye, transforming and entering the groundbridge, as Bumblebee and Arcee were already far ahead.

The bridge closed, and finally it was only him and the humans. He still wondered what so bad could happen for the three guardians to be worried. He looked over at them, sat on the couch, playing video games. They were relatively calm and still. The older bot thought now would be a great time to start working on some of his unfinished projects. The base was calm, the kids were entertained.

For now.

A loud, strident yelp came out from behind him. Startled, he looked over at the kids, instantly worried someone broke in. But no, it was just the Japanese girl, shouting at her friends because she lost the game. The commandant rolled his eyes, visibly annoyed.

“ Will you tone it down ? ”

He firmly asked, though it sounded more like an order. The young girl looked at him desperately, groaning.

“ THEY'RE CHEAATIIIIIING. I keep loosing, it's unfair. ”

“ In that case, you should switch games. ”

He stated, as if it was an evidence for him to move on from something that gets on your nerves. The girl stared at the bot, as if he said an absurdity, before she exclaimed.

“ YOU'RE A GENIUS !! let's play.. A board game!! What do you guys think ? ”

Jack shrugged and crossed his arms, apparently okay with the idea. The younger of them all jumped off of the couch, excited by Miko's proposal.

“ awesome idea ! Though, we miss a player. ”

Raf stated, his hands now on his chin, thinking.

It didn't take long for Jack to point at Ultra Magnus.

“ hey! Wanna join ? We'll teach you! ”

The leader looked perplex, not convinced at the idea of joining this “activity”. He stared for a moment, considering. It could be fun, after all, and give him a break from all the stress of battles.

“Very well. But only one game, I have to stay alert in case anything happens.”

The older boy nodded and signed him to get closer, which he did. The three humans started explaining to the bot the rules, to which he was surprisingly getting very interested in. They then got to the first game. Raf won, and, angry at himself, Ultra Magnus asked him some tips to get better.

“ how about we do a second round, then? ”

He proposed, to the happy surprise of the kids, that appeared to be pleased by the idea of the leader.

And then, they went on for hours.

The guardians came back several hours later, and, curious of the laughs and giggles they were hearing, snuck up on them.

They could not believe it. He was having a moment of genuine fun with the kids, that they all seemed to enjoy in it's fullest.

The three bots sighed in unison, relieved to see how well it went.

“Alright kids, it is getting late. Time for rest.”

The older bot announced, as he noticed the humans yawning. Without any signs of resistance, they hopped in his servos as he started walking to their room. He noticed Bumblebee, Arcee and Bulkhead here, to which he simply nodded without stopping. Once he made sure they were safe, he softly smiled.

“ I assume it went well..? ”

Arcee questioned, to which Ultra Magnus simply hummed.

“ we had a great time.”

He assured, a satisfied grin on his face.

. . . Written by Noah . . .ᐟ ☆

[oldsoul007]

don’t dream it’s over

nicholas chavez x reader

summary: nicholas and reader are sworn enemies, what happens when they end up being counselors as the same summer camp…

I had been a camp counselor at Camp Pinewood for the past two summers, and of course Nicholas too, but we couldn't stand each other. Nicholas, with his pollos, easygoing charm some would say and knack for breaking rules, clashed constantly with my strict adherence to the camp's guidelines and my no-nonsense attitude. Our arguments were legendary among the campers and staff, often ending with one of us storming off in frustration, usually me.

When I got there the first day, few days before campers showed up, of course he was late with a smug look on his face. This summer, however, something was different. The camp director had paired us together to lead the same group of campers, hoping we combined strengths would create a balanced team. From the start, it was clear we would have to find a way to work together, despite our differences.

After trying to fight our camp director on putting us together, I finally gave up and went to get stuff for my cabin. I was taking my luggage out of my car when someone clears their throat. I roll my eyes guessing who it was. “Not even gonna say hi to me princess” “what did I tell you about calling me that” “mmm I think you like it.”

Once I grabbed all my stuff I continued walking toward my cabin. Nicholas following behind. “Do you need something.” I ask irritated. “Well I thought since we’ll be working together all summer we might as well get along.” I stop in my tracks to twist around and look at him. “You gotta be fucking with me” I almost laugh.

“You know, whatever, i guess I thought maybe you’d grow up for once” I rolled my eyes as he said that. Turning on my heel, walking toward my cabin. I still hear him behind me. “Why are you still following me” I groan.

“My cabins right here too, guess we’re neighbors.” He said closing the door to the cabin across from mine. Great now I have to hear him all summer nonstop.

At camp, the tension between me and Nicholas was palpable. As camp counselors, we were forced to work together, despite our mutual dislike. Every morning started with us exchanging curt nods and avoiding eye contact.

A typical day at camp involved organizing activities for the kids. Me and Nicholas had to coordinate everything from arts and crafts to outdoor games. Our disagreements were frequent, and the campers could sense the friction between us.

One day, we were assigned to lead a team-building exercise. As we explained the rules to the campers, our bickering became more intense. "You're doing it wrong," Nicholas snapped. "This isn't how it's supposed to go."

I shot back, "Maybe if you actually listened for once, you'd understand the plan."

The campers looked on, wide-eyed, as the two continued to argue. Eventually, one of the kids timidly suggested, "Maybe you guys could work together like you're asking us to?"

The comment hit home, and both me and Nicholas paused. We realized that our behavior was setting a poor example. Taking a deep breath, I said, "Okay, let's try to get through this without fighting."

Nicholas nodded, and we managed to put aside our differences for the rest of the activity. By the end of the day, we were both exhausted but felt a small sense of accomplishment. We had managed to work together, even if it was just for a short while.

As the sun set, Nicholas found me by the campfire. "Look, I'm sorry about earlier. We need to figure out a way to get along for the kids' sake."

I sighed, "Yeah, you're right. Let's try to make this work, at least for the rest of camp."

It wasn't a resolution, but it was a start. And as we sat by the fire, both of us couldn't help but feel that maybe, just maybe, there was more to our animosity than we realized.

At the camp counselors' late-night party, the atmosphere was buzzing with laughter and music. Me and Nicholas arrived with our mutual friend Cooper, who was determined to get them to relax and have a good time. Despite our recent truce, the tension between me and Nicholas was still palpable.

As we mingled, Nicholas accidentally bumped into me, spilling his drink all over me. "Seriously, Nicholas?" I exclaimed, my frustration bubbling up once again.

"It was an accident, princess! You don't have to make such a big deal out of it," Nicholas retorted, his own irritation showing. The nickname pissing me off more.

Cooper, seeing the brewing argument, stepped in. "Hey, you two need to chill out. This party is supposed to be fun, not another battleground for you guys."

I sighed, trying to wipe the drink off my clothes. "It's just... we can't seem to go a day without fighting."

Cooper raised an eyebrow, a mischievous grin spreading across his face. "Maybe you two need to let off some steam together. How about you guys just hook up?" He said, half joking half not.

Nicholas looked at me, a reluctant smile forming. "You know what? That actually sounds like a good idea."

I hesitated for a moment before nodding. "Alright, you're such a dick. Fuck you" “You wish” he teases.

By the end of the night, the tension between me and Nicholas had raised significantly.

Our days were filled with activities and responsibilities, from leading nature hikes to organizing campfire sing-alongs. At first, our interactions were tense and filled with sarcastic remarks.

But as the days went by, they started to notice things about each other that they hadn't before. Nicholas saw how passionate y/n was about making sure the kids had a great time, and y/n couldn't help but admire Nicholas's ability to make everyone laugh and feel included.

One evening, after a particularly challenging day, we found ourselves alone by the lake. The sun was setting, casting a golden glow over the water. I was skipping stones, trying to unwind, when Nicholas approached me. "You know, you're not as bad as I thought," he said, breaking the silence. I looked up, surprised. "Coming from you, that's almost a compliment," I replied with a small smile.

We talked for hours, sharing stories and secrets we had never told anyone else. The more we talked, the more we realized how much we had in common. Our walls began to crumble, and the thin line between hate and love started to blur.

Over the past few days, something had shifted. we had been paired together for various activities, and slowly, I found myself warming up to Nicholas. I began to see a different side of him, one that was kind and considerate.

The next day, I was heading back to my cabin when I thought I heard Nicholas talking to someone. I paused, listening intently. My heart sank as I caught bits and pieces of the conversation, convinced he was revealing my secret. Hurt and betrayal washed over me.

When Nicholas noticed me standing there, he immediately saw the look on my face. "Y/n, what's wrong?" he asked, genuinely concerned.

"I heard you," I said, my voice trembling. "I heard you telling someone something I told you in confidence."

Nicholas's eyes widened in shock. "Y/n, I would never do that. I promise you, I didn't say anything to anyone."

But I couldn't shake the feeling of betrayal. "Why should I trust you?" I asked, my voice cold and distant. "You’ve always been against me."

Nicholas stepped closer, his voice earnest. "Because I care about you, y/n. I would never betray your trust. Please, believe me."

But I shook my head, anger and hurt clouding my judgment. "I can't believe I ever thought you could change," I said, turning away from him.

Nicholas watched her walk away, his heart heavy with regret. He knew he hadn't betrayed her, but convincing her of that now seemed impossible.

As I walked back to the cabin alone, I felt a familiar bitterness returning, the fragile trust we had built shattered in an instant. Ending up right back where we started at the beginning of the summer.

As captains for the camp games, we were supposed to lead by example, but our bickering overshadowed everything else. The campers, fed up with the tension, devised a plan to get us lost in the woods together, hoping it would force us to work things out.

It was Nicholas’s fault we ended up lost. He had insisted on taking a shortcut during one of our competitive scavenger hunts. I had argued against it, but Nicholas was stubborn. "Trust me, I know this forest like the back of my hand," he had said confidently.

But as the sun began to set and the familiar trails disappeared, it became clear that Nicholas had no idea where we were. "Great job, Captain," I muttered sarcastically, crossing my arms as we stood in the middle of nowhere.

Nicholas sighed, frustration evident on his face. "I thought this was the right way. Let's just keep moving; we’ll find our way back."

Hours passed, and the forest seemed to grow denser. We argued about which direction to take, each step leading us further into unfamiliar territory. The campers' plan was not working.

Our bickering is a constant source of tension. Our friends often joked about our rivalry, but neither of us found it amusing. One evening, the argument between us reached a boiling point in the middle of the woods. Where Nicholas got us lost during the camp games.

"You never listen to me!" I shouted, my frustration evident. Nicholas, equally exasperated, fired back, "And you always think you're right!"

My face flushed with anger, and in the heat of the moment, I blurted out, "I hate you, Nicholas!"

Nicholas stood there, stunned. The words hit him harder than any insult ever had. Instead of retaliating, he felt a deep pain in his chest. “Nice one” he says pushing past me continuing walking into the woods. I’m surprised, he usually would reply with some snarky comeback.

Then I realized I never actually said that to him before. Confused I follow after him. “Nic, wait why are you so mad?” He took a deep breath, his voice trembling slightly as he spoke. "do you really mean that?" he asked quietly.

My anger began to waver as I saw the hurt in his eyes. I had expected him to yell back, not to look so wounded. "I... I don't know," I stammered, suddenly unsure of myself.

The tension between us was palpable, each word laced with frustration and unspoken emotions. I finally came back to reality remembering that’s he’s an asshole.

"Yes I do, I hate you, Nicholas! You drive me fucking insane!" I shouted, my eyes blazing with anger.

Nicholas took a step closer, his jaw clenched. "You think I don't feel the same way? You're always in my head, y/n. I can't get you out, and it's maddening!"

Our faces were inches apart, the intensity of our emotions creating a charged atmosphere. Suddenly, without thinking, Nicholas grabbed me and pulled me into a fierce kiss. All the anger, frustration, and hidden feelings poured into that moment, our lips crashing together in a passionate embrace.

My hands found their way to Nicholas's hair, pulling him closer as I kissed him back with equal fervor. The world around us seemed to disappear, leaving just the two of us, lost in the intensity of our connection.

When we finally pulled apart, both of us breathless, our eyes locked. "I hate how much I want you," Nicholas whispered, his voice raw with emotion.

My heart pounded in my chest as I looked at him. "Me too," I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. "But maybe we don't have to fight it anymore."

In that moment, everything changed. The walls we built between us came crashing down, leaving us vulnerable and open to the possibility of something more. The fight had revealed the truth we had both been hiding, and as we stood there, surrounded by trees, we realized that our relationship was about to change forever.

After many more minutes of wandering through the dense forest, me and Nicholas finally found our way out. The tension between us had been palpable throughout our ordeal, but now, as we emerged from the woods and saw my cabin in the distance, a sense of relief washed over us. Everyone seemed to have gone to bed after the games.

We hurried towards the cabin, our steps quickening as they got closer. Once inside, I closed the door behind them, and we both stood there, catching our breath. The adrenaline from our adventure still coursed through our veins.

Nicholas looked at me, his eyes intense. "We made it," he said softly, stepping closer to me.

I nodded, my heart racing for a different reason now. "Yeah, we did."

Without another word, Nicholas closed the distance between us, his lips capturing mine in a heated kiss. I responded eagerly, my hands tangling in his hair as I pulled him closer. The kiss deepened, filled with all the emotions we had been holding back.

Nicholas moved us towards the bed, never breaking the kiss. My hands roamed over Nicholas's back, feeling the strength of his muscles beneath his shirt. He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me onto his lap as we continued to kiss passionately.

The cabin was filled with the sounds of our heavy breathing and the soft rustle of clothes as we lost ourselves in each other. In that moment, nothing else mattered but the connection we felt, the heat between us undeniable.

As we finally pulled back, both breathless and flushed, we looked into each other's eyes, knowing that this was just the beginning of something deeper.