#and you mean to tell me the album this song came out of isn't that good? isn't in the top kpop albums of 2023?

[theboytatu]

the anon who said exist is not deserving of a 10/10....each and every track on that album served a purpose...add on to that the fact that if it was any other band, they would have finished the album with another day....but not exo (please insert the duck smoking a cigarette gif here) let me in was a whole breakfast lunch dinner...

literallyyyy omfg like no let's get into it literally!!! let's just stop for a second. realize that exo have been around for over a decade, in the brink of disbandment for half of that, beating flop allegations left and right, holding on to the one group sm wants to wipe from the face of their existence, nobody in south korea wants them together anymore, kpop stopped caring about vocalists who can sing..... and then they came out with this showstopping ballad knowing they had one chance, channeling boyz ii men type of runs that no one else could do... and they killed that shit in one take. live performance mind you.

[aberooski]

Exposing myself with my Spotify wrapped aksksk

[dilf-docs]

X Si Volvemos

ex older bf!logan x younger fem!reader

summary: there are many things you and logan disagree in; but not when it comes to things in bed.

warnings: 18+ (minors dni), age gap (phew), smut, ex!logan, exes to ????, p in v, creampie, reader's in her early to middle twenties so her frontal lobe hasn't developed yet; don't expect any reasonable thinking on her side, logan is on his middle to late 40s, angst (duh), this happens in an AU where mutants don't exist bc i don't wanna complicate myself with timelines lol hence time isn't really important but it's contemporary, the vibes i bring to the function are more sad than horny and i'm sorry, toxic too! may build a series around it?

word count: 1,925 words

side note: the incredible @bpmiranda's got me with a very bad case of ex!logan fever :( plus after listening to karol G's album mañana será bonito and seeing i may or may not be obssesed with romeo santos, i got the song in the title on loop: as you can see, it's all very fitting ++ don't forget to check out her stories, they're so good istg!!!!

You shouldn't call.

"Logan" you speak. His name burns in the tip of your tongue, like a secret you're not supposed to tell.

He shouldn't answer.

It's quiet at first on the other line, until a rough voice says I'm here, appearing to be distant, but who is he trying to fool? As soon as he saw the number pop on the screen, his fingers moved with a learned urgency.

You shouldn't keep calling.

"I need you" three words to cover those you actually mean; hanging in the spaces between the silence.

I miss you. I love you.

Your hear a heavy sigh on the other end.

He shouldn't keep answering.

"Princess..." Logan pleads, "don't do this"

You know better than that, he wants to say, but keeps his mouth shut. Just to hear your voice, just to-

"Please, Lo" you whine out. Logan grabs his jeans with force, the fabric strained under his white-knuckled grip. It takes him a lot not to run to you right there and now.

"Don't" but his voice cracks as much as his resistance.

"I've got the house" you whisper the prayer; a routine so sacred none of you seem to break it, "just for us"

"Y/n" even saying your name is painful; like the most addicting and damaging drug to ever exist, "stop"

Logan loved your stubborn heart, but there are times where he wishes you weren't like this.

"I'm sorry" and then he hangs up.

I'm sorry for not being who you needed. I'm sorry I pushed you away. I'm sorry I keep on coming back after I said I would leave you alone. I'm sorry I can't keep my promises.

You feel it around your neck―bruises in the vocals your voice has failed to scream; it chokes you with rage.

"Are you stupid?" you ask yourself in the mirror.

What are you doing? Why are you doing this to yourself? Do you love him more than you love you?

You dial again, but this time, it's a girl who picks up.

"Yeah?"

"Hi. Wanna go out?"

Logan feels so out of place, but this used to be your favorite bar, and he's desperate for a drink.

Listening to your voice has always made him weak, but after you broke up, it drives him crazy.

He empties another glass, feeling pathetic. This is how bad it's gotten: you've got him scouring the places you used to go, chasing your ghost, trying to get a glimpse of your silhouette or a whiff of the phantom of your scent, the lavender haunting him; getting under his skin.

A song beggins playing, and it's the same vinyl set from two years ago. The night he met you: a pretty young thing so out of place in an old bar like that, playing hard to get, only to end the night moaning over him, fogging his car's windows, saying his name in a way no one else had before. He still remembers the way your legs trembled but he held you, beads of sweat confusing themselves with the glitter on your skin. Logan doesn't know what that is, but he's marveled, so in awe of you, everything of you: young, new, exciting.

But every new thing wears out, and the gap he swore wouldn't matter came crashing in years that built a distance between him and you.

So he did what he did best: ruin it. Deny the feelings bubbling inside; let them consume his reasoning, pushing you like he had done with everyone who cared about him before.

When he broke your heart, he took a part with him. So you keep coming back, looking for it; trying to piece yourself together. And he let's you: because God knows you have a part of himself too.

He's so drunk he probably imagines the hint of lavender in the whiskey tinted air. He's so desperate to see you again, he's seeing your face among the crowd. He's definitely gone insane: hearing that laugh he misses every day.

"Y/n..."

The music pauses: all you can hear is your name being said in that way like it belongs to him.

"...Logan"

He walks in autopilot over to the table you and a group of girls are sitting. They're all beautiful―beautiful people attract beautiful people, but he's only got eyes for you.

"What are you doing here?"

He raises a glass he didn't know he was carrying, "having a drink".

Your lips purse, and Logan doesn't know if it's because you're laughing at him or sad.

"I see" but you divert your gaze, looking at your outfit's neck. The outfit you chose: a black dress that pushes your tits on top. They are on display, and Logan feels played by you―his eyes trained on the strained fabric, tongue watering like it did when he would lick your sensitive nipples.

"I see too" he says in automatic, and one of your friends laughs. He looks away, thanking the low lights, or you'd see the red embarrassment on his face.

You stand up and walk over to him, and your friends sense it's time to leave the two of you alone.

"Why did you hang up?" you throw the question so casually; the nerve you have.

"What do you mean?" it's the only thing that comes to his mind. Very stupid, indeed.

You scoff, "delete my number, then"

"You keep on calling" he bites back.

"And you keep answering"

You never shut up. He hates that.

"I may have to stop"

You get closer, way too closer. So much, your hot breathe clouds his judgment.

"Try to" you dare.

And he tries, he really tries. But not today.

Not today when he takes you home, finally looking complete with you in it again. You had moved out after your last discussion, saying you'll never be back.

"You haven't changed a thing" you murmur in between kisses, and he can sense a bit of melodrama in his voice that makes him roll his eyes despite the dull ache on his chest.

He picks up your body swiftly, carrying you up to the bedroom.

"Why would I?" he asks, voice so low and small you almost miss it.

"Because you hate me" you avoid his eyes, even if your faces are too close, loosing all that corageous character of yours, "said you would get rid of it; of everything that reminded you of me"

But when he drops you softly on the matress, there's still that lamp you got him in the night table.

"I couldn't" he confesses.

I couldn't, he means, because I couldn't let you go.

But you both know it won't work out, something you knew right from the start: because toxic loves only fulfill basic needs. This isn't healthy, but he forgets it all as soon as you're moaning his name. Still, he promises himself he will say goodbye to you this time, even if it's inside of you.

"Shut up and kiss me, then" you're always pushing him around, making him do the things he desires to but doesn't want to do.

So he obliges, leaning in, the lavender so strong all over your sweet skin, poisoning his mouth on every kiss he leaves. He feels you squirm under him, goosebumps along your skin, prickling against his, so visible he can see and feel it even in the dim lit room.

"Take it" Logan doesn't look at you, but when he does, you feel him stare deep into your soul, "I know you want it"

He's sliding his dick inside you as soon as the sentence is over, the permission to take you and use you implicit. He robs a drawn-out groan out of you.

"So tight for me" he murmurs against your shoulder, sharp breaths and soft groans flooding your ears. His cock hits deep within you, hard thrust no one has ever been able to replicate, making you gasp for air, burying your face in the plush pillows now drenched in your sweat.

"You're so deep" you hiss, hot and overwhelmed, waves of pleasure hitting like water against cliffside rocks. "So big, Lo" you whine, dizzy at the way your pussy stretches for him.

"Just for you" he grunts out, and it's the truth. No matter how dark the room is or how many faces he avoids, he always looks into the eyes of the other women he fucks, his heart sinking when he can no longer pretend it's you, "fuck, squeeze a bit more".

Hearing his deep voice, rough when you fuck, always making you soak, coating his dick in your juices. You grip tight, as tight as the nails that hold onto his shoulders, making him moan at the pain.

"Like that, princess. Good girl" you moan at the praise, "I know you could take me, all of me"

He grunts and pants, holding you tighter as his cock pumps faster, in sync with your now closer to happening orgasm.

Before it, he slows down his thrusts, "where do you want me to cum, princess?"

He wants to, inside of you, but he can't do so, not when he promised he wouldn't ruin your life. But making you his, marking you as only his, makes his dick inside you twitch. Fuck, he's so balls deep inside you all he can think is filling you up silly.

"Inside me, Lo" like you read his thoughts, and it always amazes and scares him; how deep inside his mind you are. Never happened, not in his four decades of life. And that's part of the problem: he's closer to death than you are but it's only with you, young―blossoming with life, that he feels truly alive.

So how can he say no, when you plead and beg with those pretty doe eyes of yours? Who could imagine such a sweet thing to be so needy. He feels like you could ask for his heart, and he'd carve a hole in his body for you―bleeding out of love; dying with a smile.

"Such a greedy little thing, princess" he mocks, but his tone betrays him―dripping in adoration, "want me to fill you up all nice?"

A broken wail is what he takes as your answer, your mind in blank.

He finds himself letting go, way faster than he should; he just misses you and your needy dripping pussy that much. You can't hold back longer either, rush flowing through your veins, much more satisfying than the alcohol you had drank an hour ago.

Logan paints your insides with layers of his hot cum, mumbling a soft:

"Anything for my princess" he keeps going, panting as he's milked entirely dry, "anything you want, my girl"

Your vision is still spotty, mind fogged: you're sure that's the reason the hurt hasn't settled in your heart yet.

Then the silence comes, like it always does now.

"Y/n" you always love when he calls you by your name, but you hate the way he's saying it now. Like a goodbye.

"Don't-" you plead, begging he shuts up. But he pulls out, and says:

"It's for the best"

You don't want what's best. You want him.

"Can't believe you wore this dress" he traces the pattern of the tight clothes, damped in sweat, "you know it's my favorite. Why?"

You fail to supress a smile, even if it's tired and almost sad, "I knew you couldn't say no".

The truth is, you know many things: like how this is never going to stop until it's destroyed you both.

[httpknjoon]

santa, tell me | myg

plot | that time in december where popstar!yn and bassist!yoongi agreed to do something.

w.c | 3.3K

pairing | bass guitarist!yoongi x popstar!reader

genre | fluff, slight angst, enemies to lovers

note | thank you for the lovely @marblemoonstones for sending this request. sorry it took so long. i hope you'll love it.

main masterlist | series masterlist | want to request?

cont. of DAY 64 of Love Is... On Tour

"You didn't think that was all, right?"

Fans cheered for the last time, assuming that you just played your last song for tonight. But suddenly, a familiar tune plays in the whole arena. They cheered as the lights slowly turned up. The live band plays a prolonged intro to your famous holiday song. This time, Yoongi is back on his spot with the band, playing his guitar. You are now sitting on the throne with your candy cane.

"Alright, I need everyone to be honest right now. I have to ask y'all something." you begin, standing up. "What's your Christmas wishes to Santa?"

The fans from different sides of the arena shouted their individual wishes one by one. You walked to various parts of the stage to hear out some of their answers. As expected, you hear funny and crazy wishes.

A big dick!

"A what?!" you stopped at one's answer, eyes widened for a second.

The band and some members of the audience, who also heard that, laughed.

"I mean, that's a little naughty. But I'm sure Santa won't mind that one. List that down!" you turned your head to Yoongi, still in his Santa Claus suit. He played along, nodding his head with a thumbs up.

You were about to continue your fan interactions when you spoke again, "Oh, make that two! She isn't the only one wishing for that tonight."

The camera caught your playful wink, making your fans laugh and cheer. If a non-fan is in your show tonight, they will find your humor a little too sexual. Just like some people online who have big opinions about you and your ongoing tour, where a lot of suggestive stuff happens. But your latest album literally had a "Parental Advisory: Explicit Content" sticker on it when it was released since some of your songs were, again, sexual and included adult words. So, it is totally expected of you to have that kind of joke in you. And gladly, your fans were on the same wavelength.

My ex!

"Oh, your ex?" You repeated that one answer. You spotted that fan nodding. "Well... That's... a waste of a wish."

Your fans laughed, knowing that there was something behind your statement.

"An ex is an ex for a reason, love. Had to learn that in a very obvious way." You chuckled at your own mocking comment. "Anyway, any more wishes that Santa can list down?"

From the left side of the stage, you see a cardboard sign with a big statement written on it. Cute doodles related to Christmas and a few cutout pictures of you were added to the sign.

You read slowly, "We... want.. a... Christmas album?"

The arena was filled with cheers after you read that, agreeing to it. Your heart skipped with that reaction. Almost everyone in the venue knows that there is an ongoing rumor of you releasing one. And you don't where that came from but it was true.

It has been so long since you released a holiday-themed song. You only had one or two while a couple have been leaked before. But currently, you already have a collection of lyrics written in your notebook. But you need a little help with some melodies. With December already starting, you are now unsure if you should even release it.

"I don't know about that. Feels a little late to release that right now," you said, making your fans react with a loud boo.

It's only the first week of December!

Someone screamed so loud and clear, it was audible in the whole arena. Everyone agreed and cheered your name over and over again as a way to encourage you.

"We'll see about that." you smiled cheekily. "We'll see if Santa is listening to everyone's Christmas wishes tonight. Because for me, I feel like Santa and I don't really get along that much."

Yoongi hears his friends laugh next to him. He ignores them, waiting for how you will going to introduce this next song.

"But wasn't I a good girl this year, Santa?"

Unexpectedly, you turned to him for an answer. Yoongi shrugged his shoulders as a reply, making you roll your eyes. He tried not to smile, knowing that he successfully countered your attempt to get a reaction from him.

"See?" you looked back at your audience. "Anyway, I need to make sure Santa will hear my wishes tonight. So can you all sing with me for this last song?"

You smiled as the fans replied with a very loud and clear yes. Nodding to the band, they began playing louder and you started to sing,

"Santa, tell me if you're really there..."

Your hair bounced to the rhythm as you danced along with your dancers. It was your official last song of the night after an hour and a half of songs and dance. But you still performed like it was just the start of the night.

"True love, that he thinks of..."

Just before the second pre-chorus ends, you strut down the long way to the wider stage where the band performs. You did not rehearse anything with Yoongi to this song since Santa did not plan to do anything in it. But Santa is here anyway, why waste his presence?

"Santa, tell me if you're really there. Don't make me fall in love again if he won't be here next year..."

As expected, Yoongi knew he was your target. You stood next to him, leaning your back to his side, while he played the guitar. You turned to him and poked him to get his attention like you were really talking to Santa.

"Oh, I wanna let him unwrap me, like, oh-ooh-oh..."

Yoongi finally looked at you when you turned around, showing off the fluffy white bow Paul had sewn behind your red dress. It took your fans a few more seconds to realize that you modified some lyrics the song had years ago.

"Get on top of him, by that fireplace, oh-ooh-oh..."

Singing the line, you dropped down quickly and popped back up. You looked over your shoulder, immediately winking at the first set of eyes you met. He looked away, making you laugh while still singing. Twitter will definitely eat up this short interaction.

"But I don't want a new broken heart. This year, I've got to be smart. Oh, baby..."

You strut joyfully all over the stage, swaying your hips to the song, while you sing some vocal runs. White confetti, mixed with red heart-shaped ones, began falling all over the arena as the song and show neared its end. Some fans also began throwing their small gifts on the stage.

"If you won't be, if you won't be here- Thank you all so much for coming tonight! Have a happy holiday!"

You let the background vocals sing in the background as you waved goodbye. As the lights dimmed down, you blew kisses on the cameras. The band freestyles, but remains in tune with the song.

"Do you think I can still release a holiday EP before we take a break?"

On your way back to the hotel, half an hour after the show, you asked Cal. The idea of releasing new Christmas songs excites you and makes you wanna start recording your self-written songs immediately. But with less than two weeks left and a tour happening, you wouldn't want to hassle everyone.

Cal nods, reaching for her phone to look at her Calendar app, which its mostly filled with your agenda than hers, "Yeah, you absolutely can. We can talk to the label about it, so we can get things approved right away. But you are their favorite right now, they'll let you do anything you want."

You laughed at that, shaking your head even though that was true. Your assistant continued, "Just let me know your plans. Like, do you want to do some promotional stuff?"

"Seems nice. Does that Late Night gig still stand?" you asked, referring to a hosting offer you got a few days ago from the producers of a known show.

"Yep, they said they can wait until the day after tomorrow."

"So, I still have two days to finalize?" you asked.

"That's right." Cal replied.

You nodded, leaning on your chair more, forcing it to be your makeshift bed in the meantime. A checklist began forming in your head. You were done in the first step: writing the songs. Now, you just need someone to help you with producing it. Usually, you would call up your friends to collaborate. But with you touring around the country, you know that it will be hard to communicate with them at the same time.

Yoongi produces.

A thought comes into your head, but your eyebrows furrowed. He will not get your ideas like your past producers. You feel like you two have the most different perspectives on things that you will just end up scrapping the whole thing.

But I want to release this EP.

Cal, who was sitting next to you, heard you let out a deep, heavy sigh. Your back was facing her, but she could see you staring at your phone lock screen. After working for you for almost five years, she knows that you are probably just swimming in your thoughts right now. You often do that, especially when making big decisions. Once again, you let out a big sigh, nodding. Cal will not tell you, but her eyebrows raise when she sees you typing a message to someone.

"I told you I was on stage earlier, I can't answer your calls."

Yoongi just arrived in his hotel room when he got a call from Sara, his ex-fiancee. It took him a minute of staring on his phone screen before deciding to accept the call begrudgingly. He has been avoiding to talk with her after they went on separate ways six months ago. But when she reached out to him the other day, he knew he won't be able to avoid her easily. A four-year relationship, with a year of being engaged, is not a light thing to bury down.

"God! This is why I don't want you doing tours. It's harder to communicate with you when you're on a different timezone." She grumbled.

The time difference is not even that much. He thinks she's just making a big deal out of something. Yoongi is on Boston, while she's on LA. He knows she probably just got home from her office just a couple of hours ago.

"Can we just talk about what we need to talk about?" Yoongi sighed, wanting to end the call as soon as he can.

"Fine." Sara sighed. "So, about the house. We decided to just keep it. It will be just easier for me and the baby since we already turned one of the rooms into a nursery."

He hates that it's a "we" decision. That there's another person involved in a conversation that's just meant for him and her.

"I told you to do whatever you want it, just give me my money back. I am not interested to know your plans with it." Yoongi almost spat the words out with disdain.

He is trying to remain calm and mature with everything about their past relationship. But again, it's hard, especially when Sara got herself pregnant with another man, who was her ex, while they are still engaged. Just recalling it back makes his blood boil.

"Yoongi."

She called him in a way that supposed to calm him down. If she did this a year ago, it would have worked. But hearing her calling him with her soft tone, just brings more resentment.

"Sara," Yoongi sighed.

Knowing that she's probably in her last trimester of pregnancy, he hate to bring stress to her and her baby. But man, it's hard to balance gentleness with hurt.

He pinched the bridge of his nose before walking out to the balcony to get some fresh air. He inhaled while feeling the coolness of the weather. He spoke,

"Just... just do whatever the fuck you want with our house and update me once you decided to pay me back. Okay?"

"Okay." She mumbled. "Yoongi, I'm so—"

He ends the call before she can say that familiar yet useless word again. Turning off his phone, he just rested his arms on the balcony railing while silently gazing on the distant city lights. His sweatshirt is nothing compared to the chilly weather, where light white snow falls on his jet black hair. But he doesn't mind, it makes him feel numb for a moment.

He really needs a distraction right now before he ends up smoking again.

"Hey."

Suddenly, Yoongi hears a small whisper. His eyebrows furrowed as he looked to his right, instantly spotting you in your usual oversized sweatshirt and plaid pajamas. You stood on the balcony next to his. A thin smoke from the cup you were holding slightly covered your face, but Yoongi still recognized that gentle smile that curved your lips.

"'Sup, Santa?"

"So, this is your hot choco."

Cal placed the cup on a small table in your hotel room. You were still a little groggy when you woke up from your quick nap in the van. But now, after choosing to release an EP for the holidays, you want to stay up all night to work on it.

"Thank you, Cal. I love you so much." you told her, hugging her.

She smiled, "I love you too, hon. Don't force yourself to work more tonight."

You hummed in response while choosing more comfortable bottoms to change into. Cal took one last glance at you, making sure you were okay, before saying goodbye. Left alone, you changed into your red plaid pajama pants, perfect for the cozy weather.

Although you only had a few minutes of sleep, you are ready to take more steps for your plan. You messaged Yoongi earlier after getting his number from Fred. But you noticed you got zero replies from the messages you sent.

Maybe you should just talk to him in person?

Or you should just look for another producer?

The second option seems easier than talking with him directly.

You find yourself walking out to the balcony, swimming in your own thoughts while being engulfed by the chilly air. You keep your warm cup in both of your hands while thinking of how you can find someone to work with for your songs.

Back then, you used to have your then-boyfriend around to help you with such things. Theo is a musician too and plays a lot of instruments other than his bass guitar. So, he's been a great and quick support if you have unexpected ideas or melodies in your head. Since he also led the band before, he can easily call them up for a quick record session. But now, things changed. The cheating happened, followed by the break-up. To top it all off, your ex literally brought the band with him (except Noah, who insisted on staying with you) while you still have an ongoing world tour.

Asshole. You cursed in your head again when you remembered that time you were panicking after learning what Theo and the band did. Fucking asshole, you hissed.

Shaking your head, you try to get back on planning. You were sipping in your hot chocolate when you heard someone speaking.

"Just… just do whatever the fuck you want with our house and update me once you decided to pay me back. Okay?"

You see Yoongi next to your balcony with his phone next to his left ear. Blinking, your eyes observed him quietly. This may be the first time you saw him angry. He sounded aggressive to whoever he was talking with. Although inaudible, you know that the person on the other line was still talking when Yoongi abruptly tapped on his phone, ending. Your lips formed into a small 'o' before you took another sip of your drink.

You probably should have just gone inside and left him alone. Maybe it was just a fight with his fiancee, that he briefly mentioned in one of your quick conversations.

But after seeing him look out the night city view while his fists were clenched, you thought maybe you would let your presence known.

"Hey..." you almost whispered with how you tried to be careful with your tone as if you were stepping on a fragile glass floor.

Even though he was glaring when he turned his head at you, you tried to smile at him. Just a soft, friendly smile. But when the mood felt heavier, you made an attempt to lighten it up.

"'Sup, Santa?"

His tensed shoulders slowly dropped back into a more calm position before he shifted to face you.

"What are you doing there?" he asked, removing the snow on his hair.

"Oh, I didn't know I needed to have reasons to be on my own balcony."

You don't know why but that was the first sentence you thought of, but did not think through yet you let it slip out your mouth. It sounded defensive like you were picking a fight again. Tired of starting another dumb fight with you for today, Yoongi rolled his eyes and was ready to go back to his room.

"Wait! Wait I'm sorry! I didn't mean to say that." you stopped him, spewing out your apologies. Fuck, you didn't know you can be this bad in handling such moments like this.

"I actually want to ask if you have checked your messages?" you asked, changing the topic with the idea on the top of your head.

He squints at you, "Why?"

"Uh... I actually sent you a text earlier," you replied, scratching the back of your head.

"Again, why?" he asked one more time, sounding more uninterested. Even though, he was already wondering why would you message him and how you even got his number.

"Can't you just check your phone right now?" you asked.

Seeing you having trouble saying whatever you texted him made Yoongi even more curious about what you texted him. He shook his head at you.

"Actually, I can't." He tried not to smile when he noticed your nostrils flaring. "So can you tell me what you texted me?"

Your chest rosed when you exhaled heavily, aware of what he was doing. You were finishing the chocolate in your cup when Yoongi clicked his tongue,

"Well, I think I should go-"

"Yoongi, hi! This is YN. Got your number from Noah. I was wondering if we could collaborate on something that I'm planning to release this holiday season. Please, let me know if you're interested. x YN." you spoke so quickly yet clearly, reciting the exact text message you sent him before. You had it memorized because you kept reading it earlier while waiting for his reply, biting your nails. "Is that good?!"

Your irritation simmered down when you saw Yoongi biting his lower lip, stopping himself from smiling. But he already is.

"A little too fast for my liking. But, okay," he said, shrugging his shoulders.

"Okay?" you asked for clarification.

"Okay, I'll be your producer," he answered.

Even though you won't show it, Yoongi noticed you smiling before behind your cup. And yes, you know your cup was already empty. But you hate to give Yoongi more satisfaction after he made you recite your message to him.

"Can we start tomorrow?" you asked.

"Sure, come to my room."

You leaned forward with lines in between your brows, "Excuse me, what?"

"What? I already have my stuff set up here. I don't want to move again." he explained before smirking. "What were you thinking, YN?!"

Feeling the blood rushing to your cheeks and ears, you turned away, "Ugh, whatever. Let's just text."

"But my phone is turned off!" Yoongi teased you as you walked inside your room.

"Not my problem! Charge it or something. See you tomorrow!" you spoke hurriedly before closing the sliding door.

Yoongi laughed at your flustered reaction, shaking his head.

note | random question... do u guys have any favorite youtube video segments where you would like the series characters to participate in? if yes, feel free to let me know! send me an ask or comment it. but anyway, thank you so much for reading <3

taglist rules

SERIES TAGLIST

@busanbby-jjk @jimingirl95 @treacherqus @jajabro @marnz1990 @ktownshizzle @notarshia @m00njinnie @thelilbutifulthings @tarahardcore

PERMANENT TAGLIST (CLOSED)

@dunixxd @cixrosie @jksjx @embrace-themagic @buttvi @starbtslove @missseoulite @vanntaesworld @kenqki @imajinthis @stopeatread @seolaquotes @greyrain23 @chimchimmarie @petalsofink @jayhope88 @moonchild1 @laylasbunbunny @nikkiordonez12 @misshale21 @marblemoonstones

[lovers-rck]

modern au where you accidentally send ellie, your bestfriend, a nude PT3

pt1 here , pt2 here pt4 here

n/a finally.

☆

ellie was lying on her bed. her eyes were closed, her mouth was mumbling the words of the song softly, not wanting to take the spotlight away from the voice that sounded through the record player.

outside, the sun was shining at its brightest, burning the people who dared to walk under its reign.

"uhg i love that song" ellie murmurs as the song ends.

"it's good" you agree. a bead of perspiration ran down the valley of your breasts "it's too hot in here. can you open the window?"

ellie nods and once it's done she throws herself back on the bed hard, bouncing you up and down. she giggles dumbly.

"you can put on your bikini if you want, you left it here the last time we went swimming"

"so that's why i couldn't find it" you can see how ellie smiles slightly "where is it?"

"second drawer on the right"

"got it."

you find your bikini folded neatly in the drawer next to her t-shirts. the bathroom feels a thousand times hotter than the whole house, so you hurry to put on your bikini top and go back out to ellie's room. she's still in the same position, singing songs from an album you don't know.

"we should go swimming again" you say as you walk in, your bare feet against the floor "it was fun"

ellie partially stands up with the help of her arms and watches you, walking around her room in your bikini top and shorts. the photo incident had already been forgotten in your mind, but ellie was still thinking about that moment.

even though she assured you that she had deleted the photo, the truth was that she still had it in her gallery, feeling guilty every time she looked at it.

"sure" ellie said, abandoning her gaze on your body "if you want to drown yourself again"

"i didn't drown" you protested "that wave came in unexpectedly"

you lie down next to her, staring at the ceiling just as she does, separated by inches. ellie's almost-kiss comes to mind, but you dismiss that memory as quickly as you can, trying not to fantasize about something that isn't going to happen.

she's your best friend. just that.

it isn't long before the album comes to an end, burying the room in a deep silence. The air is uncomfortable for ellie, who feels the need to speak up and confess her sin.

"i didn't delete the picture" she says after a few minutes.

you furrow your eyebrows and look at her "what? which picture?"

ellie abandons her gaze to the ceiling and looks at your breasts, and then at you "you know..."

the answer hits you "oh"

"i'm sorry" ellie says "i had to tell you, it doesn't feel right"

you look up at the ceiling again "why didn't you delete it?"

you hear ellie laugh lightly "isn't it obvious?"

you feel your heart in your throat, ready to come out the moment you utter a word.

"it's not obvious to me"

an immense heat takes hold of ellie's body, a heat that is not due to the temperature outside. she feels her cheeks redden and her lips feel extremely dry and suddenly the ceiling looks so interesting that she want to watch it forever.

"well..." in your eyes, ellie doesn't look as confident as usual, more vulnerable "i think i like you."

"you think?"

"okay, okay" ellie snorts "i like you"

"it's just weird" she continues "i mean, it feels weird that you like your best friend, you know? i don't know, i haven't stopped thinking about it since you sent me that picture"

you don't say anything, and ellie takes that as a bad sign.

"i'm sorry" she mumbles, looking at the ceiling and wanting to hit her head "i shouldn't have said that. i would leave if i could but it's my home so...."

"can you kiss me?" you speak and ellie looks at you

"what?"

ellie analyzes your gestures, looking for some indication that what you are telling her is a vile joke that you can both laugh at later, or pretend to laugh at.

"a real kiss this time" you say and ellie smile embarrassed as she remembers "kisses on the corner don't count"

"shut up. I didn't know how you were going to react."

"you didn't even see my reaction! you ran into the living room!"

they both laugh uproariously, although ellie laughs mostly out of embarrassment.

a few seconds pass. fifteen seconds if you ask ellie.

"well, are you going to do it?" you mutter.

ellie stands up and moves closer to you, leaning on one arm to support her weight so she doesn't fall on you. you can feel her confidence return as she provokes your lips by gently brushing hers across them but not making full contact.

"ellie" your voice comes out as a strangled moan.

and she finally kisses you.

the warmth of her lips impacting against yours and sending you into a dreamy spiral. her hands hold you as if you are going to disappear, encircling and touching your skin.

everything about her touch counterbalances her personality. her touch is kind, gentle, soft, and it's ellie's

[daisyvisions]

I Wanna Be Your Dog - (k.yh)

➺ Pairing: Rockstar!Younghoon x Assistant!Reader

➺ Summary: Your job as an assistant to the band is simple: handle their schedule, and do what they ask you to do. But how far are you willing to help one member out with a certain ask if it means keeping your job?

➺ Word Count: 3.8k

➺ Warnings: Smut (18+, minors DNI), fem!reader, unprotected sex, creampies, edging, male masturbation, guided masturbation, handjobs, slight fingering, riding, lots of making out, groping, sexual fantasies, mutual pining (?), younghoon is down bad for reader (sub!younghoon if you squint), marking, mentions of hookups, pet name used (baby)

➺ A/N: Finally, my birthday fic for Younghoon is up! I had planned to write for rockstar younghoon ever since this tiktok edit came out last year. This was not the original story I had in mind but I hated how the outline was going and decided to save it for another member and use this plot instead. Title is inspired from the song of the same name by Joan Jett & the Blackhearts because the lyrics fit so well with one particular scene of the fic (iykyk). Proofread once, enjoy 😉

➺ Network & Tag: @deoboyznet @snowflakewhispers @winterchimez @aimeecarreros (thank you for introducing me to the song 😈)

For as long as you could remember, you've always wanted to work in the music industry. There was something about that chaotic world that you thought was magical. You were so determined to become a part of that universe you didn't care where you would end up.

And that is how you became the assistant to one of the hottest acts to ever grace the stage.

At first, you were way too excited to be involved in the day-to-day of the band's schedule; you didn't even care if you had to run many blocks just to get the specific brand of coffee they wanted.

But soon enough, the rose-colored lenses you had on would crack. Not only did you have to take care of the band's schedule and be at their beck and call, but you were also in charge of cleaning up their mess.

Which is the reason you ended up sitting through a one-hour phone call with the band's manager as he practically yaps your ear off about the band's lead guitarist.

"Do you know how many NDAs I had to sign just so these groupies would keep their mouths shut about Younghoon?" Jacob exclaims.

"I know, I'm the one who prints and mails those documents for you." You sigh heavily.

"The board is getting pissed off. It's getting too much! He has a sex addiction at this point!"

"Well, it's not like we can make him wear a chastity belt or a purity ring to stop him! You know how he gets." You reply, trying to hold in your frustration from how long this call has been going.

"They are in the process of promoting their next album and going on tour. If Younghoon keeps this up and the press finally catches on, it will not be a good look for us all." Jacob takes a deep breath and pauses for a moment.

"I need you to keep him in line," Jacob says to you with a stern voice.

"What?! How the hell am I supposed to do that?"

"I don't know, you're the assistant. It's your job to take care of those guys. Do something about it or you can say goodbye to your job."

Jacob puts the phone down immediately without even waiting for your reply. You throw your phone to the side, your heart racing as you feel the frustration consuming you, and it's not even eight in the morning.

You can't afford to lose your job. Not after you've worked so hard to get where you are already. And you will definitely not lose your job just because Younghoon can't keep it in his goddamn pants.

No, you're going to do something about this no matter what it takes.

As you insert the spare key in the lock of Younghoon's apartment, you're instantly startled as a figure appears before you. Her disheveled appearance already tells you who or rather, why she's in his apartment. Great, another day of running into a groupie.

"Oh, Lin, isn't it?" You try to give her a smile. You introduce yourself as the band's assistant.

"Oh—hi," she responds, but her eyes were looking elsewhere. "Excuse me, I gotta go, late for… an appointment," she mumbles.

"Of course, it was nice meeting you!" You put on that people-pleasing voice. Lin nods in return before stumbling out the door. You make a mental note to track her address and send her an NDA later in the day.

You walk further into Younghoon's apartment, already listing out in your head the mess you have to clean up later as you quickly scan different areas of the living room. You find him still dead asleep in his bed, probably unaware that his latest conquest has left the building as you walk closer to sit on the edge of the bed.

"Younghoon? You awake?" You gently shake his shoulder. As you continue to wake him up, you're caught by surprise as he grabs your arm and pulls you into his embrace.

"Hey baby, up so early?" His deep morning voice rings in your ear as his face buries into your neck.

You try to keep yourself composed as you wriggle yourself free, but your eyes widen at the sudden realization that doing so was a mistake as you feel something hard digging between your ass.

"Younghoon, I—"

"So eager for round two, huh? Don't worry, baby, I'll let you take the lead this time." He kisses a sensitive spot between your neck and shoulder as his hands start drifting near your hips. Before anything escalates, you pull his hands away and reach behind to flick him in the forehead.

"Younghoon, it's me!" You shout, sitting upright once more and shaking off that fluttering feeling growing inside your stomach.

"Ow. What the— oh. Oh hey!" He smiles at you. "Where's—"

"Already left. Witnessed her walk of shame just as I was going in," you smirk. "I brought you breakfast; better see you outside in ten minutes, alright?" You slap his shoulder to wake him up.

"Alright, alright, I'll get up," he groans as he turns to his side.

"Aw, all this for me? You shouldn't have." Younghoon slings his arm over your shoulder as he watches you set all the food on the counter.

"Just sit down and eat. We need to talk about something." You shrug his arm off.

"To talk… What did I do this time?" He sarcastically replies as he sits across from you.

"It's not what you did this time; it's what you keep on doing, Younghoon." You grab his plate and fill it up with the food on the table.

"Look, Jacob called me this morning, and he's not happy with your—" You pause, trying to come up with a proper way to address the problem.

"With my… what?" Younghoon takes a big bite from his plate, his eyes trained on yours as he waits for you to finish.

"Your sex addiction." You decide to get straight to the point. "You fuck nearly every girl that bats her pretty eyelashes at you or even gives you a decent amount of attention."

"Hey, I can't help myself, you know? This is the rockstar's life, after all." He shrugs as he takes a sip from his glass.

"Yeah, well, if you don't get that controlled and continue thinking with your dick, it's not gonna look good for the press," you reply.

"Since when have we cared about what the press thought?" Younghoon asks with slight irritation in his voice.

"Please, Younghoon, I need you to keep it together just until promotions and the tour are over. My job is on the line here." Your voice starts quivering. Younghoon sees your eyebrows scrunching and the tiny tear forming at the corner of your eye.

Oh, how he wishes he could kiss those worries away right now and keep you close to him. Seeing you like this whenever you're frustrated or upset makes his heart ache with a feeling he can't explain. It's probably because he has a soft spot for you, ever since you started working for them. And if he's the reason that you end up losing your job, he doesn't know how he'll be able to sleep at night.

"Please?" Your tiny voice calls him back to reality as your soft hands hold one of his. And how could he ever say no to you?

"Alright," Younghoon sighs out. "I'll do it. But it's not gonna look pretty." You chuckle at his response.

"I promise you can go back to doing whatever after the promotions. Deal?" You gently squeeze his hand for reassurance. Younghoon places his other hand on top of yours and squeezes in return.

"You got it, boss."

Much to your surprise, Younghoon does a fairly good job at keeping his word. At first, it was a bit difficult, but he somehow managed to pull through.

He couldn't forget that one time he was almost about to fuck the girl lying on his bed until he suddenly remembered your face and how upset you would've been if you found out what he was doing. He couldn't bear the thought of disappointing you, so he just came up with a lousy excuse for the groupie to leave and fisted himself later in the night until he was satisfied enough.

And since then, that's what he had been doing to get by. He was either fucking his hand or fleshlight while imagining all the different one-night stands he had in the past. But as the days went by, it was getting harder for him to reach that sweet release. Not even watching porn would get him off the way it did before.

He needed to touch and be touched, a pair of lips kissing him everywhere, and moans of pleasure ringing in his ear… he couldn't wait till the tour was over until he could finally ravish someone and forget their name the next day. Sounds like a shitty way to live but hey, this is the kind of life he chose for himself.

Just two more months, Younghoon, what's the worst that can happen?

Sweat starts to form on Younghoon's forehead as he vigorously pumps his throbbing length. He had been trying to get off for a while now, but it seems nothing has been working. This was the worst case of blue balls he has ever had, and if he doesn't cum any second now, he might go insane.

Younghoon starts to dig deep into his memories of past hookups to see if there was one moment he can use to get himself off. There was one memory that seemed to pop into his mind, but not any of the hookups he had remembered. No, it was a memory of you. The day you came into the apartment to talk to him about his problem.

He recalls the smell of your perfume when he buried his face into your neck, the way your ass rubbed against his morning wood accidentally, and how soft your hands were when you held his hand during breakfast.

His cock throbbed in his hand remembering those small moments, playing an imaginary scenario in his mind wherein you didn't stop his hands from traveling to your hips. How he would've pressed himself into you further and continued kissing your neck. How his hands would’ve groped your breasts tenderly as he whispered filth into your ear and you would’ve moan his name in response.

"So pretty…" he murmurs to himself as he bucks his hips up, thinking how beautiful and kind you've always been to him even if he tends to be an asshole at times.

He moans at the thought of how soft your lips would feel against his own, remembering the time you drunkenly kissed him on the cheek during that one after-party a few days ago. He had to quickly turn away from you to hide his cheeks turning pink.

God, he knows his abstinence from sex has gotten so bad to the point that even the smallest gestures from you are enough to send the blood in his veins right down to his cock. He's never been this hard in his life, and he can't tell anymore if it's because he's blue-balled or because he's thinking about you.

Either way, Younghoon was all up in his head that he didn't even hear his front door being unlocked as you let yourself in.

Your visit to Younghoon's tonight was unplanned. He had forgotten his lucky leather jacket in the studio a week ago, and you took it upon yourself to get it dry-cleaned for him.

As soon as you got the call from the dry cleaners, you thought it would be nice to drop by his place and surprise him with his newly cleaned jacket and bring his favorite food for a late night snack. After all, you wanted to show him how grateful you were for keeping his word.

"Younghoon?" You call out his name. You knew he was home after spotting his keys and wallet on the console table. You try to call his name again but still no response. He must be asleep. I should go check on him, you think to yourself.

Younghoon? He hears your sweet voice ringing in his ear. God, he must be down so bad if he can start hearing you call out his name, as if you're right close by. He can already feel himself closer to the edge as he hears his name once again, pumping himself to the point of no return until his door suddenly swings open.

"Younghoon, I— Oh my god!"

"Shit!"

You both catch each other by surprise.

You tried to look elsewhere, but the image of Younghoon jerking himself off is now burned into your memory, and you don't know what to do. Younghoon, on the other hand, whimpers from the loss of his orgasm.

Had you been delayed by a second or two, he would've released his load onto his stomach, relieving himself of stress. But now, he's on the verge of crying as he feels himself getting incredibly pent up.

"I'm so sorry, I'll just go—" You turn around quickly.

"No, wait!" Younghoon's voice stops you from closing the door. You couldn't help but turn around and face him once more. He looked like he was in pain, his eyes becoming watery as he deeply breathes in and out.

"Help me…" He cries out to you.

"W-what?" Your eyes widen. He can't be serious, right?

"Please! I can't— been trying. I can't do it." A tear falls down his pale cheek.

"Please, it hurts so bad…" He whimpers once again.

"Younghoon, I can't—"

"Please! Just this once. We'll never speak of it again—" He pleads like his life depends on it. And with the way he's looking at you like you're the only one that can help him get out of this sticky situation, how could you say no to him?

"A-alright." Your feet move towards him even before you replied, your body already deciding for you on what you need to do next.

You sit beside him, placing your hand on his thigh as you glance over his hand gripping his cock. You feel your core pulsate at his pink tip peeking out from his fist. But you try your best to completely ignore whatever intrusive thought you have and place your hand on top of his, gently holding it as you look into his eyes.

"Just this once, okay?" You hover above his cock enough for your spit to fall onto the tip and move his hand slowly up and down as you guide him through his orgasm.

This wouldn't be the first time you've seen his cock. The first two times were by pure accident and from afar too. But nothing could've prepared you from seeing his member up close.

The way the veins are protruding from how rock hard he is at the moment, wondering what it must feel like to fill you up to the hilt. You try to think of anything deemed unsexy as you stare at his manhood, but that ends up failing as you start to feel your underwear slowly getting wet by the second.

While you're too caught up in your own thoughts, Younghoon couldn't help but stare at the way you looked at his cock, all slack-jawed and dreamy-eyed. It was like you wanted to do more than guide him, like you were ready to devour him any moment from now. As if a dark cloud of lust is slowly taking over you right before his very own eyes. And that was turning him on a lot.

He subconsciously reaches out for you with his free hand, his fingers holding onto the back of your neck as he pulls you in for a kiss. Your lips are even sweeter than he had imagined, making his heart beat so fast from how soft they feel on his own. Younghoon knows this moment won't last forever, so he decides to just enjoy it while it lasts.

You instantly moan from the feeling of his lips on yours, holding his wrist as you lean forward to press yourself against him. You pull his hand away from his cock and replace it with yours instead, the softness of your palm wrapped around his length making him hiss in pleasure. You start to grip him harder, controlling the pace of your hand jerking him off.

Younghoon groans into your mouth as he slips his tongue inside. His hands grabbing onto your hips before pulling you closer to him to straddle his lap. You continue to jerk him off as his hands start caressing the sides of your body.

"Please…" he whines into your mouth.

"Tell me what you need, Younghoon—" You kiss his cheek before moving down to his neck.

"Wanna touch you— fuck— Can I touch you? Please let me touch you." His eyebrows knit in pleasure as your lips suck a particularly sensitive part of his throat.

Too busy with lightly sucking on his skin, you grab one of his hands and guide him to the front button of your pants, signaling him to remove the article of clothing from you for better access. He wastes no time helping you out of your jeans and having you back on his lap.

His fingers slowly sliding beneath your underwear, groaning at the sensation of how wet your folds are. He's honestly amazed at how you're able to get this wet without being touched; it motivates him to slide his fingers between before finally circling around your sensitive bud.

You let out a soft whine as you feel your knees turn into jelly. All you could think about right now is to sink yourself down onto his member and ride him into the sunset. Somehow it was like he could read your mind as you feel his hand pull your underwear to the side and the other pull you by the hip to align your entrance right above his tip.

"This okay?" You look down at him.

"Y-yeah, more than okay." He stutters.

"C'mere." You lean down to kiss him, slowly letting yourself sink down to the base of his cock.

Both of you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding until you finally sat on his lap. The feeling of Younghoon being fully sheathed inside you already has you seeing stars, and you haven't even moved yet. He swallows your moans as he starts bucking his hips up, holding you in a tight embrace as he fucks himself into your tight hole.

"You're beautiful, you know that?" He mumbles as he pulls his lips away from yours to get a good look at your face.

The way he looked at you as if you had a halo around you was making the butterflies in your stomach flutter like crazy. You knew the effect he had on you, especially when he would randomly flirt with you. But for some reason, the effect of his words felt different.

It was like he was confessing something he had locked up inside of him for a long time, making you blush like an idiot. Your eyebrows knit in pleasure as his thrusts start to become faster. Your walls are gripping him like a vice; he knows he's bound to reach his peak anytime soon.

"Let go for me, Younghoon, you can do it." You whisper in his ear.

As soon as you say these words, a sudden burst of warmth blooms inside you. His hips relax onto the mattress as he comes down from his high, but his hands guide your hips up and down his cock, helping you reach your own release.

He must've been so pent up, you think to yourself as you feel him still incredibly hard inside you. The tip of his manhood nudges that sweet spot deep inside you so good you feel yourself nearly falling over the edge.

"K-keep going, baby—" He breathes out. "Use me."

You take control of your own movement and bounce on him like there's no tomorrow. Your fingernails raking the sensitive skin on his chest as you chase your own high. Younghoon can feel himself reaching his own high too the more you keep this pace up.

Everything about this moment was making him absolutely dizzy. Your walls practically choke holding his dick, his first load already dripping out of you and coating his balls, and the way the squelching sounds echo in the room as you use him for your own pleasure?

He will never look at you the same way ever again. You've officially ruined him for anyone else after this.

"Younghoon, I'm gonna—"

"C'mon baby, cum on me. Fuck— make me yours." He mumbles as he feels close to the edge with you.

After a few more bounces, the rope inside you finally snaps, making you cum so hard you feel like you're going to faint. Younghoon's second release follows right after yours, but this time his load is more than the first. You both know for sure that as soon as he pulls out, a waterfall of your mixed juices is bound to rush out of your hole. So you just decide to keep him close longer as you both try to catch your breath.

You lay your head on his chest, listening to the sound of his breathing pattern slowly regulating as he rubs his hand up and down your back. You both bask in the silence a little longer, secretly savoring the moment before you have to part ways.

"Younghoon?" You lift your head to look up at him. He hums in response.

"If— if ever you need help with this at a different time…" You pause for a moment. "I'd be happy to volunteer." You feel your cheeks burn up at the thought of doing this with Younghoon again.

"Yeah? You wanna help me out?" His eyes widen, his heart beating faster again knowing this wouldn't be the last intimate moment with you.

"Yeah, just as long as you sign an NDA about it." You jokingly reply. He chuckles and kisses your forehead.

"Well, get ready to print a lot of those—" He grabs your ass and gives it a good slap, making you yelp in surprise.

"—because you have a lot of catching up to do."

[kanmom51]

Okay so I had to put my thoughts down in words

I just don’t know how to feel about what Jimin said in the bts of Muse, other than sad.

I guess I should start by saying I’d been dreading him saying something along the lines of that since I heard Who, as to why he made it. The MV bts came and went and then bam, we get a mini production diary, with saying he’s looking for love and is alone. Exactly how I thought he would explain it.

I hoped I’d be wrong but alas, he more than confirmed he is single. I suppose it’s not surprising, but all of our collective hope or support seems in vein now.

I’m still going to watch the travel show but I feel sad about it tbh. They make such a cute pair.

I'm really sorry that you feel that way love.

Especially knowing that you are just not taking what JM said the right way.

In any case babe, whatever you might believe about their relationship, that shouldn't take from you supporting them for being the most adorable human beings possible.

I won't go too much into the BTB. I do think you need to watch it multiple times, try to pay attention to JM's body language too. But I will say that I do think that your reaction here is unwarranted, in the sense that JM IS NOT saying he's single or that he is looking for love or that he is alone.

Let's start with the fact that JM was going for the gender neutral lyrics to start with, but that changed, probably because it sounded better with the "she" instead of the "you".

So, yeah, JM originally wasn't looking for a she, but a you. Funny how if this was an autobiographical song that would have mattered, right? Oh, wait a second. It isn't.

The song is not about JM, not about his real life, not about his actual experiences down to the T.

Not this song, nor Muse the album, even though the other songs were written by him.

Not an autobiography. Unlike Face.

JM says it here and he said it in his album exchange with RM!!

See, it looks like you are doing exactly what JM wanted fans to do. And that is get the wrong idea!!

Did you miss this perhaps?

Yeah, you probably missed JM saying this.

Btw, when JM talks about his diary, I really don't believe he means a personal diary where he writes his wants and needs and experiences, lol. He's talking about that diary where he writes his ideas for the album, his ideas for the songs, where he wrote his lyrics to the songs for Face (we got that diary with Face) and for Muse. And JM, he's a shy boy, Idk if you are aware of that. This young man who oozes confidence on stage is so very shy and the experience of having to explain to John Billion the idea he wants for the song and it coming to life left him a little self conscious, shy.

This isn't about the song telling the story of his life. This is about having to explain an idea for a song, his vision, it actually being something that he isn't going through.

Ok, moving on.

Again, JM explaining the vibe he is going for with the song.

And again his shyness.

He continues to say that he poured all his emotions into this so he's embarrassed.

Not because these emotions are his as in this is what he feels right now longing for love, but because he feels embarrassed to explain his emotions about the song, the emotions he's looking for in the song.

I suggest that if you are having an issue with understanding how this song is not JM, not his life, maybe go rewatch the album exchange with RM.

And read my post on it as well.

These feeling JM is trying to encompass in Muse (and Who) are part of the universal language of love, a language he is using in Muse to convey his message, which is not literal.

And specifically when he talks about Who, it's about that feeling of excitement in his work that he's looking for. Those are the feelings he's talking about. Not the lyrics about the "she" (who was supposed to be a "you"). Not the lyrics that are written in the universal language of love. No. It's about the feelings about his work. The feelings about the message he is trying to convey. Which has NOTHING to do with his love life!!!

But again, he's telling us about those feelings through a language we all understand. So that longing he has for that feeling with his work is brought to life as a longing for a someone to love.

This!!

It's a story he wants to tell!!!

And the whole "everyone's living alone" sentence that you are probably clinging to, cause obviously...

a. He could be talking about the fact that at some point of every person's life, they are living alone, as without a partner, a loved one, and as such it's a relatable feeling.

b. It's not like people that are in relationships don't feel alone at times. Even JM, who was in a committed relationship with JK when going through the struggles and feelings he had and poured into Face, into Alone felt that way. I bet you JK was feeling alone or lonely during the time JM was working on Face and Muse. During those lives in Feb 2023. And yet, he was in a committed relationship with the person he loved.

c. He's trying to tell a story, and he's trying to convey his longing for that feeling with regards to his work, and being lonely is how he's explaining it, the way he's conveying it to us. Hence the "everyone's living alone"... meaning - that is something everyone will understand, meaning, hoping he picked the right idea, the right way to convey his message as the 6th song for Muse!!!

THAT IS ART!!!

And JM created art. Not "this is a song based on my own experience" art, which he did with Face, but "this is a story I want to tell that will help you understand my feelings about my work" art.

And he knew.

He knew people will make the wrong assumptions.

Just like you are right now.

Side note, and before I go, Idk if you have noticed this, but Muse, promoting the album, talking about the album, is so much easier for JM to do than Face. With Face all we got was that it's personal, that he was struggling, but not much more than that. JM was pretty much staying quiet, and even when he did talk he was saying much of nothingness. While with Muse he's talking, he's opening up, he's explaining. You know why? Because it's not about his life!!

Just saying.

[heavyhitterheaux]

Garden

Based off the song by Dua Lipa

Synopsis: You want to spend more time with your boyfriend, but find that the two of you are drifting apart. It isn't until he almost loses you that he realizes what he has in front of him

Pairing: Jack Harlow x Reader

Requested by: an amazing anon 💕

Jack Harlow Masterlist

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

It was dark outside when you had woken up from being startled because of Jack moving around your shared bedroom. You had been waiting for him to come home since he had been gone all day, but your eyes began to get heavy around midnight and you knew that you wouldn’t be able to last much longer. You grabbed your phone from the nightstand to look to see what the time it was and it was 3:36 in the morning when Jack had promised you that he would be home no later than 8 PM.

"Babe? Are you just now getting home?" You softly asked as he began to take off his sweatshirt.

"Shit. I didn't mean to wake you up. Things just ran over a little bit." He threw it across the room and it landed in the hamper perfectly while you sat up to plug your phone into the charger.

"A little bit? You were supposed to be back at 8 PM LAST NIGHT. It is now 3 in the morning. Did you eat anything? How much water did you drink today? I don't want you getting headaches like you were before."

"Y/N, I'm not doing this with you right now. I need to go to sleep because I need to leave by 9."

"I… I'm just worried about you. I need you to slow down and take a break once in a while. I planned for us to do something around 5. Do you think you'll be done by then?" You asked as Jack has gotten in the bed to lay down next to you and pulled the comforter over himself.

"What are you worried about me for? I'm fine. Don't I need to keep a roof over your head? So let me do what I need to do since you're always asking me for expensive ass shit."

"Really? I'm worried because my boyfriend is a workaholic and a people pleaser that doesn't know how to say no sometimes and his girlfriend would like to spend more time with him."

"When things slow down, I will. I promise, but I can't let up now."

"What about meeting up with me at 5? Just us for a date."

"I'm not about to tell you yes and then I get busy and not show up because that will cause a whole new issue."

"I just don't get why you’re being so defensive about me wanting to spend time with you. Don't blame it on you being busy because when your second album came out you still made me a priority despite everything going on around you."

All Jack did was sigh and roll his eyes which you quickly caught on to.

"Y/N, I'm only going to get five hours of sleep and arguing with you is cutting into that. Can we just let it go and continue it later?"

"Seriously? And when is later because I never see you."

All Jack did was throw the comforter away from him and hop up out of the bed.

"Baby, where are you going?"

"To the guest room to get some fucking sleep since I'm clearly not going to get it in here."

"I… come on don't be like that. I just…."

"I'll probably be gone by the time you wake up." Jack muttered before making his way out of the bedroom and leaving you upset. 

You waited about an hour or so before going to peek in on Jack who was sound asleep. All you wanted at the very least was for him to sleep next to you and at least hold you, but it seems like nowadays that was asking for too much. You softly walked to the left side of the bed and crawled in next to him and he was startled by the movement.

"Y/N..." Jack started to say but you immediately cut him off.

"Can you at least hold me so I'll sleep better. I didn't come in here to argue. I just want you close to me." 

All he did was raise his left arm and you cuddled closer to him as he wrapped it around you and it almost seemed forced like he didn't want to do it. 

"I love you, Jack." You whispered to him, but all you got were his soft snores in response letting you know that he had fallen back asleep.

You felt your eyes watering and the tears slowly ran down your face and you did your best to even your breathing so that you wouldn't wake him up again.

You just simply wanted your loving boyfriend back who would always spend time with you and never made you feel as if you were a burden.

When you woke up, just as he told you Jack was long gone and you simply let out a sigh. When he left early like that he would usually send you a text message that said good morning and how much he loved you, but you didn't know the last time he did that. You would usually send them and now they went unanswered.

You had some work to do yourself and had been working from home for the past few days. You couldn't quite put your finger on what it was that was bothering you besides the obvious with Jack, but you didn't feel 100%. 

Hoping that a hot shower would help, you hung eucalyptus at the top of it to open you up so that you could breathe better and lost track of time of how long you had been in there. 

Once finished, you got dressed and decided to bring your laptop to the living room in order to watch some movies for some background noise and order some food since you hadn't felt like cooking.

You nibbled at your food all day while you worked and when 5 PM came around of course Jack was nowhere to be found. You had sent a few texts throughout the day to ask how things were going and all he was doing was reading them and not responding, making you grow frustrated.

Around 10 PM, since you still didn't feel well, you made yourself a cup of ginger tea in hopes that would help and made your way upstairs to your room not even bothering to wait for Jack. It was clear that he didn't want to talk to you so you weren't about to force him.

When you woke up it was around 7 in the morning and you had felt worse than you did the night before. Jack wasn't next to you and you heard the shower running so you assumed that he was getting ready to go out and leave you by yourself…. Again.

Once he came out the shower, you couldn't help but to blurt it out.

"Baby, can you please stay home with me today?" You couldn't put your finger on as to why, but you didn't want to be by yourself.

"Y/N…. What is it now? Didn't we already talk about this?" He answered and had an immediate attitude.

"I just don't feel that well and want you to keep me company. It's just for a day.  You can miss one day."

"What don't you get when I say that I have to provide for us? You saying that you don't feel good is just another excuse to try and get me to stay home and start an argument. You look fine to me and I can't believe you would pretend to be sick for me to stay."

"Just say you hate me and go." You muttered and stormed into the bathroom while locking the door behind you.

"Why would you even say that?! I don't hate you!"

You didn't bother responding and simply brushed your teeth and washed your face. You could hear him moving around the bedroom and once you heard his keys, you knew he was getting ready to leave despite your protests. All you could do was sigh and attempt to go on about your day.

By noon, you couldn't focus and no amount of medicine was helping you feel any better so you decided to get dressed and head to the grocery store in the hopes of getting ingredients to make some soup and hopefully you would be able to keep it down. You had gotten to the couch downstairs and were putting on your shoes when you suddenly felt lightheaded. You gave it a few minutes to let it pass before standing up. And once you did, your head immediately hit the floor.

Jack was in the studio and cursed to himself. Nothing had been going right that morning and be felt that it was low key his Karma for blowing you off.

"What's wrong?" Urban asked while seeing his frustration.

"Could you do me a favor and go to my condo to get a sample hard drive that I forgot? I don't want to see Y/N."

"Wait, what? Why? Are you two fighting again? You've been fighting a lot more than usual."

"I just don't want to deal with her right now."

All Urban did was sigh because he hated seeing the two of you at odds. He didn't want to get in the middle of it, so he didn't bother saying anything.

"Be right back."

When Urban walked through the door, he called out to you but when you didn't answer he was confused. Your car was still in the driveway and he could hear the television playing so he wasn't quite sure what was going on.

He walked further into the condo into the living room to discover you on the floor and not moving.

"SHIT! Y/N!" Urban said while rushing over towards you and trying to tap you to wake up.

"Come on, wake up!"

Nothing he was doing was working and he quickly pulled out his phone to dial 911.

"Hello 911, what is the address of your emergency?"

Jack was growing increasingly inpatient and was wondering where Urban was since it had been at least two hours since he left. His condo wasn't that far from the studio and he figures that you had coerced Urban into staying with you and gave him the same sorry excuse of not feeling well that you told him earlier.

It was another 45 minutes before Urban stormed into the studio pissed off and red in the face.

"Do you not know how to answer your fucking phone anymore?!"

"What? You were coming right back anyway. It's been on DND all day. What took you so long?"

"Your girlfriend is what took me so long." Jack immediately rolled his eyes.

"Oh, did she give you that same bullshit ass excuse of her not feeling well?"

"You are such a fucking dumbass. When I got there she was on the floor, passed out! So when she told you that she didn't feel well, she wasn't lying! The paramedics were asking me all these questions that I didn't know the answer to since I didn't even know how long she had been on the floor or if she hit her head!"

"Wait, what?"

"You fucking heard me, your girl is in the hospital and hadn't even woken up when I left because I had to rush to get to your dumbass to tell you since your phone is on DND. The hospital had been trying to call you ever since she got there!"

All Jack did was mutter fuck under his breath and immediately started to feel guilty.

You had been telling the truth the entire time and all you wanted to do for the past few weeks is spend time with him and all he did was ignore you.

"I…."

"Just come on, I'll drive." Urban said and all Jack did was nod his head as a million thoughts were running through his mind.

Urban sped through traffic and made it back to the hospital in record time. Jack barely gave him a chance to stop the car at the entrance before jumping out and trying to get to you as soon as possible.

He immediately ran to the desk to ask the secretary where you were before she gave him directions to your room down the hallway.

Once he reached your room, he saw you sitting up with your head resting in your hand while the other was flipping through channels on television that was in the front of the room.

"Baby?" Jack said as he entered the room and all you did was look at him.

"Um, what happened?" He asked again and all you did was sigh.

"Don't you have somewhere else more important to be?" You asked while turning away from him to look at the TV.

"What? You're important to me, you're my priority."

"You can save the bullshit because I don't want to hear it. You know this is the first day that you called me baby and not by my first name in almost three weeks?"

"I… I'm sorry I was busy, but I'm here now." Jack tried to take your hand, but you quickly pulled it away.

"And you can leave. I don't need you here or want you here, you have to keep a roof over our heads, remember?"

"I know you’re mad at me, pissed is more like it for good reason but I just want you to talk to me."

"Oh, so now you want to talk? When you thought something might have happened to me? You have been acting like I bother you with everything that I say and you wondered why I said that you hated me this morning. I'm being admitted for the night so you'll be able to get your rest without me bothering you. I'll get Urban to pick me up tomorrow so that you can continue to provide for us. Now, you can leave so you can go and do that."

"You haven't even told me what's going on with you! I'm not leaving!"

"Why? So you can pretend to act like you care? I have started not to be able to recognize you anymore and I don't like the person that you're becoming so do me a favor and get out of my sight."

You had been home for a few days and Jack actually ended up staying the night with you in the hospital despite your protests. 

Long story short, you fainted because you were dehydrated and the stress that you had been under didn't help either.

Jack had been walking on eggshells around you since that day and was staying with you at home to make sure you had everything that you needed without having to lift a finger. However, now he was getting on your nerves because he wouldn't let you out of his sight. It sh

"Babe, when's the last time you drank water?"

"2006."

"Y/N! I'm trying to make sure you stay hydrated. I don't want you fainting again."

"I'm fine for the millionth time so you can leave. It's amazing how much free time you have now." You fired back and all he did was sigh.

"I never properly apologized to you and I'm sorry for making you feel like I didn't care about you and you should have never had to beg for me to spend time with you. I just get so wrapped up in my head with work that it's all that I focus on. I promise to do better moving forward and never make you feel that way ever again. I want this and I want us for the long haul."

“I don’t want you to promise me anything, instead show me by your actions.”

“Can I have a kiss to help me get started?” Jack asked while pouting and you immediately rolled your eyes before leaning over to kiss him since he sat next to you. 

“Uhhh I need one more for strength and maybe two more for good luck.”

“I… look now.”

“Please?!”

You obliged while leaning over to kiss him and he quickly pulled you onto his lap.

“I love you and I should never go that long without telling you again.” Jack whispered against your lips.

“I’m going to hold you to that.”

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[jamiepaige]

Constant Companions Closeup #8: LIAISON

(also on spotify!)

Welcome once more to the Constant Companions Closeups - a series of in-depth dives into the songs off of my latest album, Constant Companions! After the nightmarish tiktok voice brainrot of Aggrandicize, it's finally time to talk about Lesbian I mean Liaison!

---

...It's a love song.

...

That's about it.

...

..

.

Oh you want me to say more okay

I don't really write simple and straightforward love songs much!! Love is absolutely a core aspect of my songwriting, and I love a lot of people and a lot of things, but even when I invoke romantic love, it's usually not entirely literal? If that makes sense.

But, like, c'mon. I'm a lesbian. I love women with the best of 'em. Sometimes I just wanna be gay! Especially on an album as fraught with emotional moments as Constant Companions is, I feel like it's really important to have at least one simple moment to settle on.

...

oh you want me to say More

Well okay. I like yuri. I like vocal synths. And maybe my himejoshi ass likes making certain combinations of vocal synths do gay shit lesbian style.

lets move on already

---

I love the band Phoenix. I'll be completely honest and tell you that I first heard their music when Lisztomania and 1901 came out as DLC for Rock Band 2 but hey that's how a lot of people my age found a lot of music when they were younger probably. Their album Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix was one of a couple major sonic touchstones for how I wanted Constant Companions to sound - bouncy, warm, synthetic-yet-natural, with multiple shades of idiosyncrasies - but Liaison in particular was a pretty bold-faced attempt to directly evoke their music, at least in terms of arrangement.

Now, I'm not well-read or French enough to fully match the bright-eyed abstract lyricism or historical knowledge of their songwriting completely - but I can be Jamie Paige about it, reference Arthurian legend, and quote another freaking song I wrote

🤼‍♀️, also known as :women_wrestling:, isn't the gayest song I've ever written, but it's certainly up there, and it gets referenced pretty heavily in Liaison. Maybe this is the aftercare once they're done in the ring? Maybe there are more complicated layers hiding beneath the saccharine sweetness of these hopeless lovers...

Maybe I'm just gay. Ever consider that, huh?

That being said, for reasons I won't go into here, there's some amount of the vocal synth fandom that interpret Solaria and ANRI as being in a sort of toxic embittered lesbian situationship... which does make the layers a little more interesting... though if you ask me? I think lesbians deserve to be happy. What about that you shithead

---

Finally, because I have a moral obligation to make sure you've all seen this, please enjoy ODDEEO's very personal and moving take on Liaison.

Of course, let me know if you have any other questions below!! Otherwise, I'll be back tomorrow to talk about the most transgender song I've ever written - Object of Affection!

[dedalvs]

I've been listening to the langtime studio chats and it's made me wonder, what are some of your favorite hard rock/heavy metal bands? What kind of genres do you tend to enjoy?

What is and is not metal has changed over the years. It's kind of like how in the 90s every single new band was "alternative", a genre designation which ended up meaning nothing. I loved (and still love) bands like Van Halen, Bon Jovi, the Scorpions, and Def Leppard, which, believe it or not, were considered metal at one time or another. I was also a huge fan of Soundgarden which was called metal on an episode of Northern Exposure I recently rewatched. But my first real metal band was Megadeth.

In 1994 Megadeth came out with an album called Youthanasia which was accompanied by a music video for the song "Train of Consequences" that ran on MTV. The same way that Van Halen's "Hot for Teacher" begins with a drum solo that's reminiscent of a motorcycle engine, the guitar in the beginning of "Train of Consequences" is reminiscent of a steam train engine. Trains are something that have always fascinated me, so the video caught my attention. Soon I was looking forward to it in the regular rotation of music videos on MTV (at the time, this would've been Weezer, Stone Temple Pilots, Soundgarden, Coolio, Nirvana, Liz Phair, TLC, etc. [all good stuff!]). The singer of a band can really turn me on or off, and Dave Mustaine's voice is unique. At the time, when I thought of metal, it was primarily screaming, but Dave Mustaine was singing, and I found that interesting. I bought the album, and soon had all of Megadeth's albums. I was hooked.

From Megadeth, I moved on to Metallica, when I learned that Dave Mustaine formed Megadeth after getting kicked out of Metallica. Metallica itself was an interesting story at that time. They came out with the black album, which was a mega mega hit (and controversially so, as metal fans saw it as a departure from real metal), and then they disappeared, with Nirvana and alternative taking over. Then, after years of nothing, suddenly they release a new song, "Until It Sleeps", which sounds...weird. It was followed by the album Load, which...I mean, listen to "Mama Said" and tell me that's metal. I heard "Hero of the Day" played on Coast—the adult easy listening station. Whether you could get into or not, it definitely did not sound like Metallica—or metal, as we understood it. They did accidentally invent the band Volbeat with Load, for which we must all be grateful, but still, with Megadeth getting a new lineup very album, Metallica going off the rails, Iron Maiden with Blaze Bailey, it was clear that metal was moving forward, so I needed to move backwards.

I started going back and finding any metal band from the 80s that I'd heard of to see what I liked. Guns N' Roses and Ozzy Osbourne were easy favorites. I dug everything they did. Other more glam/hair metal bands I didn't really get into as much—Poison, White Snake, Mötley Crüe, LA Guns… But then I found Queensrÿche. Queensrÿche was the favorite band of my history teacher, so I gave them a listen. They'd come out with a new album, Promised Land, and then I happened to get as my second album of theirs Rage for Order, and I lucked into what would end up being my two favorite Queensrÿche albums and two of my favorite albums of all time. The album Rage for Order is sheer perfection—and one of my name-alikes is thanked in the Special Thanks section! I mean, look at this photo:

If that isn't a fuckin' mood! Geoff Tate singing like a gothic opera singer, everything that can have a harmony being harmonized, every one of them taking every aspect of it so desperately seriously. This album is an entire genre all by itself. It was so good Stratovarius wrote, essentially, a terrible fan fiction song based on "Screaming in Digital" (with, perhaps, some influence from "NM 156" from Queensrÿche's first album The Warning). It also serendipitously to introduced me to Dalbello (a real life Robin Sparkles transformation), whom everyone should check out (seriously, check out whomanfoursays. She just laid it all out).

Queensrÿche also disappointed after Promised Land in the 90s, but I want to return to Iron Maiden. My introduction to Iron Maiden was The X Factor. This was their 1995 album, the first with former Wolfsbane singer Blaze Bayley. I didn't know that. I assumed what I was listening to was the Iron Maiden—the ones Bill and Ted waxed so eloquently about. All I could determine is that maybe they just got old...? I didn't get how the band I was listening to could have ever been popular.

Fast forward a couple years and I'm listening to the only metal show left on SoCal radio after KNAC died and I hear a song that sounds like nothing I've ever heard before. Fast-paced with a beat like galloping horses and a singer with power, range, vibrato, but also a kind of wild, undisciplined menace not found in more refined singers like Geoff Tate of Queensrÿche. Who was this band?! Clearly someone from the 80s I hadn't heard, but I thought I'd heard everything. The song finished, and then the DJ came on listing all the songs in the set, finishing up with "Run to the Hills" by Iron Maiden.

Clearly I had been duped. I went back to the record store to look up Iron Maiden's old albums and, lo and behold, only the most recent album featured Blaze Bayley. Before that there were seven albums featuring lead singer Bruce Dickinson.

A few albums later, Iron Maiden was my favorite metal band. Pretty soon I'd listened to everything—including the first two with Paul DiAnno which I would come to appreciate later—and I was disappointed. There was nothing left! Iron Maiden came out with a new album with Blaze, and we were cursed with "Como Estáis Amigos?" and other disappointments, but it became clear that the Iron Maiden I'd falle in love with was a thing of the past. Imagine what I felt when I was back home from college and heard on the radio a commercial for a new Iron Maiden album with a song I'd never heard being sung by none other than Bruce Dickinson. The song was "The Wickerman", the album was Brave New World, and I would go on to see Bruce Dickinson and Iron Maiden in concert six times—and a seventh coming this October (with the Hu!!!!!! I'm so pumped!!!!!).

There's a lot more to tell here—like the time I visited my ex-girlfriend in Michigan after she'd moved away hoping to rekindle a relationship that I didn't realize was deader than 8-track only to be introduced to Dream Theater by her older brother, or the time the company my friend worked for was hacked with all computers playing a song that would introduce me to Finnish heavy metal, or how looking into James Ronny Dio led me to the truly baffling yet kind of sweet story of Blackmore's Night—but as this is getting long, here are some highlights that haven't yet been mentioned with one song I'll recommend (bands with an asterisk I've seen live):

European Power Metal

Nightwish* ("Bless the Child")

Sonata Arctica* ("My Selene")

Epica ("Cry for the Moon (The Embrace that Smothers, Part IV)")

Lacuna Coil* ("Our Truth")

Delain* ("Stardust")

Amberian Dawn ("I Share with You This Dream")

Helloween ("Power")

Sound-Alike Bands

Crimson Glory ("Lonely")

Autograph ("Hammerhead")

Enforcer ("From Beyond")

The Sword ("Lament for the Aurochs")

Proto-Metal

Black Sabbath* ("Sweet Leaf")

UFO ("Doctor, Doctor")

Deep Purple ("Burn")

Hawkwind ("Assault and Battery/The Golden Void")

Not Quite Metal

Faith No More ("From Out of Nowhere")

X-Japan ("Silent Jealousy")

System of a Down ("Chop Suey")

Tool* ("Sober")

Monster Magnet* ("Mastermind")

The Mars Volta ("Goliath")

Mdou Moctar ("Ilana")

All right, I put a lot of time into finding all those links, so listen to some of those songs! I could write a book on this. I've already taken two hours too long, though. Need to get back to the stuff they pay me to do! >.<

[drowninginredink]

Favorite Albums: choose 9 and then tag 9 people!

For my own sanity, I didn't include musicals because I could fill up a whole other 3x3 grid with them, and comparing musicals to non-musical theater albums is weird.

Those last 4 that you definitely don't recognize are by Old Earth who you should definitely listen to if you want artsy ambient indie folk with really intricate guitar. My absolute favorite artist by far, and also the most obscure artist I listen to by far.

Electric by The Pet Shop Boys — I think this is my favorite album period. I am still pissed off that Tom Scott called it "not that great" in the old Technical Difficulties podcast. Maybe I'm biased because it was my favorite album when I was 14 and because it's where I really fell in love with the Pet Shop Boys. God I love them. So much. I'm way too excited for the new album and I worship geowayne's website where he analyzes all their songs. I probably should have put another PSB album on here, but there isn't another where I'm in love with every track. Plus honestly so many of my favorite tracks of theirs are B sides. They still release B sides with their singles, and this album cycle, the B sides are honestly better than the actual singles. Anyway electric is pure synthy electropop and I adore it in that way you can only love something you first heard at 14.

Pure Heroine by Lorde — I read a quote somewhere where Lorde said she tried to really put all of being a teenager into the album, so much so that once she became an adult, she probably wouldn't understand or like it anymore. I can definitely say that I'm not nearly as attached to it anymore now that I'm an adult, but God, it was my life when I was 13. She really did capture the unique ennui of being a teenager. I wrote a novel in eighth grade, and I wrote at least half of it to tracks from this album. Also, hot take: Royals is my least favorite track by a lot. Buzzcut Season is my favorite.

My Head is an Animal by Of Monsters and Men — God, this one was my life when I was like, 12. I fell in love with folk there, and I'm still in love nearly a decade later. Another album where I still love every track.

Strange Trails by Lord Huron — hey look, an album I actually discovered and came to love as an adult! The fact that I love Lord Huron's brand of folky horror/fantasy/western music that tell stories with characters should not surprise anyone. Also, if I had to describe my experience with schizophrenia in one song, I'd choose Meet Me in the Woods.

The Tragic Treasury by The Gothic Archies — Look. Hear me out. Is it a album based purely on A Series of Unfortunate Events? Yes. But. Is it also an album where I genuinely love every track and have genuinely been known to just throw it on shuffle? Yes. I mean I think of one lyric from this album, like, weekly. I swear it's not just ASOUE brainrot that makes me like it so much. If it'd ever gotten a vinyl release, I'd absolutely own it. I wish it had gotten one.

a low place at The Old Place by Old Earth — honestly this is probably only my favorite Old Earth album because it's the one that I was able to actually get on vinyl and being able to play that vinyl is so lovely. I mean, it's good, but so is everything by Old Earth. Then again, Less Words is my favorite single track by them and it is on this album. Look. All the Old Earth albums I've listed here are, at most, 20 minutes long. If you like ambient artsy indie folk with lyrics that are there more for the way they sound than their meaning, try one.

light shaped by Old Earth — god the lyrics to this one. Normally I don't like Old Earth for the lyrics but. "It gets old/then it's done" and "what if it's just some song that gets you home" and especially "I'm holding your arms/and you're holding my eyes/and I lie like the right thing to do" are all just so great. And so is the middle track with no lyrics.

... until they're called by Old Earth — have you ever heard an album so good that you a) just played the whole thing and danced to it in your basement nonstop for the full 12 minutes, and then b) wrote a poem about the experience? People talk about finding God, but dancing to that album was the moment I found athiesm. The beauty of us all being here for no reason, just feeling things and living and doing our best to make something beautiful out of it.

Two Torches, at a Place Where Three Roads Meet by Old Earth — I'll be honest, I don't have much to say about this one. They're just a really solid three tracks.

... Yeah okay I really like Old Earth. Don't judge me.

Thank you @cygninae and @thehistoryone for tagging me! I'll tag @ven10 (I'm surprised neither of the people who tagged me tagged you), @weirdthoughtsandideas (ditto), @70snasagay (hmmmm i wonder what you'll put), @cat-boy-tom, @thetreetzar, @buncoreclown, @notthatalex, @unfortunate-sapphic-disaster, and @roach-in-the-kitchen. No pressure, obviously!

[sp00ky-p00ky]

LINKIN PARK

Yesterday, LP announced a new singer and a new album. They also livestreamed a concert where they introduced the new singer, Emily Armstrong, from a band called Dead Sara.

I've never listened to Dead Sara so I can't comment on that band, but I saw a few songs on the livestream and overall I don't like it. Sorry not sorry. And I'll tell you why...

I literally grew up with Linkin Park and other bands of that time, prime Nu-Metal territory. I graduated high school in 1999. These songs mean more to me than just listening to them. Hybrid Theory came out in 2000, and it's a "no skip" album for me. As the band went on, I followed them as they worked with TONS of artists I love dearly. When I hear their music, when I hear Chester Bennington, it strikes a chord deep inside my soul. That little voice inside me says, "He knows, they know, they get it, THEY GET ME." It's the exact same feeling I get when I listen to Last Resort by Papa Roach. At a time not only in my life but at a time in the world when A LOT was changing this music, these songs were a lifeline and kept me from going insane.

When I listened to Emily last night, it all fell flat. She's not Chester, and I simply can't get past it. I've read lots of reviews online and of course everyone is applauding LP for picking a woman. I'm all for gender equality in all facets of life, but what I heard last night was just WRONG in my head. I know she isn't meant to sound like Chester but I was just disappointed. Her voice sounded like it didn't belong. Songs I've loved since they were released sounded flat and didn't hit me emotionally in the way they should have. I'm sad, but I understand that the band wanted this and wants to move forward.

Unfortunately, just as when Dimebag Darrell and Vinnie Paul died, my beloved version of Pantera also died, now too my beloved version of Linkin Park is also very much dead and gone.

Music is my everything. It's my drug, my happiness, my solace, my escape, my hidden island where I can lose it if I need to. I'm attached to bands and songs. I'll still listen to then entire Linkin Park catalog up until this moment but I just can't take this journey with them

[slaaverin]

Tbh I'm a jikooker, but I find it incredibly difficult to fit a healthy long-term relationship into the same timeline as all of jimin's solo work. It's not the pronouns or taking one lyric very literally, its the entire thing, plus comments from him and his producers. To me, you'd have to do some serious olympic level mental gymnastics to make that make sense. I don't doubt that jikook have a special bond, I've definitely seen things between them that definitely look like sexual attraction to me and things that surpass friendship boundaries, but I can't in good faith say that they're together in some official long-term way if I actually listen to jimin and his work.

I've seen some jikookers think they broke up for a while, but I have to question if those people have ever been through a breakup because the little bit of distance/separation/awkwardness we did see from them during chapter 2 is nothing compared to the type of tension that would be there if a relationship that intimate and intertwined had separated, especially considering the dark feelings jimin was feeling. He wouldn't have been cutely commenting on jungkook's lives and jungkook wouldn't have been asking to hang-out or getting excited to see jimin in his comments.

Idk, I'm sure someone could twist everything a certain way and only take certain things at face-value and then make everything else abstract, etc. to make the case that they are together, but I don't really see it. You look at face-off, alone, and just his general dark feelings during Face, then look at the creation of Muse and how him and his producers said he couldn't relate to the love-dovey beginning songs, which is how they ended up making Who (despite the fact that jikookers try to distance him from the song since he doesn't have writing credits even though he sat in the recording room telling them what he wanted and saying it felt like reading his diary). I think jimin could have very well gone through a pretty awful breakup along with the inner turmoil he was going through post-covid, but I don't think it was with jungkook if he did. I still enjoy jikook's bond either way at the end of the day, but yeah I don't really get how anyone can take an honest look at jimin's work and his words and think he was in a long-term healthy love-of-his-life relationship during that time or into chapter 2.

Not trying to change your opinion or anything, honestly I don't really see it discussed much in jikooker spaces (besides bad-faith stuff like tkkers stirring up shit over pronouns in lyrics which is just dumb) and when it is, some jikookers are pretty pick-and-choose about what they deem to be true to jimin's feelings and what isn't. Which I get being nuanced, but sometimes it does feel like a "well this fits my beliefs so clearly this is true to jimin and this doesn't so it means nothing because he didn't write it" or whatever. I honestly get annoyed with the bad-faith arguers because it prevents being able to have actual discussions about some of this stuff in our little jikooker corner of tumblr. Like "he said her, he's clearly straight! he danced with a girl, straight!" stfu.

You are entitled to your opinion.

I agree that what came up with MUSE really surprised me. It was not what I anticipated at all. But some little details makes me think it's not all black and white (Like Jimin's comment about us getting it wrong). To me Face was a more personal album for sure. But both albums do not personally deviates me from my belief that jikook are a couple.

Face was very introspective and made with a very strong creative vision. To me this is Jimin's masterpiece. I'm sure he put a lot of himself in this album. But what did he put in the end of the album, as a HIDDEN track? Jungkook. It wasn't for public eye, yet he still put a bit of him in it. To me, this is very telling.

Jimin is not the type to reveal his private relationship to the world. It's simply not his style. But as Face was very personal, Letter featuring Jungkook sits at the end, hidden, yet apparent. It shows his connexion with Jungkook is VERY close to his heart.

But he didn't have to scream it everywhere in his album, or any other album for that matter. Even if Jungkook is very important to Jimin, that's not all he has in his life. Like everyone he has his own struggles and such. I think it can be very difficult to interpret art "correctly" when we don't have all the information. Jimin had a vision for both Face and Muse, but creating art does not mean leaning on reality 100%. Art does not come only from personal experience. People can write songs as concepts that have nothing to do with them. Of course there's always something from the creator, but personally I wouldn't feel confident basing my belief in jikook's relationship on a few songs. Because the interpretation can be so vastly different from a person to the next, we'll never know what Jimin's true intentions were at the end of the day. We can guess but that's it.

What I am very confident in, is what we have actually observed and heard from their own mouth; conversations and attitudes and body language and many proofs of a very deep connexion that jikook have. That's reliable. Art is not.

The little doubts that one can infere doesn't take away my feelings about the thousands other things we know. One is about not knowing and one is about witnessing and observing and understanding not with the mind but with our hearts.

AYS was once again a very apparent confirmation of everything we knew.

I do not think jikook broke up at any point in chapter 2 despite being maybe separated a little more physically for a while.

So I understand your point anon, but personally a few songs won't change 10 years worth of moments, of life they spent together for me. Actions always speak way louder than words. But of course it's always interesting to talk about each other's interpretations.

Thank you for sharing your view and take care 💜

[thedevilsoftruth]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GHOSTS I-IV !!!!!!! 🎊🥳

Happy 17th birthday to the first instrumental album by NIN!! I feel like a lot of people think anything by NIN that came after With Teeth is a failure. But I have never heard anyone talk shit about any of the other albums more than i have this one or just the Ghosts album's in general. The most I've heard of people talking shit about this album has been, " the track list is too long, nobody's gonna know the goddamn names of these songs, this album makes me uneasy, this isn't even anything peaceful " Mf, you're missing the point. The point of these albums isn't just yk--something peaceful that you can sleep too. The point is that it's music. It's art. Whether it makes you feel peaceful or not.

I get it. Instrumental albums aren't always everyone's thing. But the least you can do is appreciate it for what it is. Instrumental music is just the same as music with words in it. In fact, the best thing about instrumental music is that it doesn't have words. It tells its own story through instruments.

I've heard people say this is where Trent fell off as an artist. But no, honey. He's still up on that mountain, and he ain't coming down. In fact, I think this kind of music is just what he was born to do. Whether you enjoy it or not, he has a natural born talent for creating this kind of music. And what he gives us in the process is truly... beautiful.

I did miss the birthday for the other ghosts albums, so I want to briefly touch on that because I didn't get to talk about it.

Ghosts: together is possibly the most beautiful thing Trent has ever released. The first time I heard this album, I cried. I cried a lot. And that was because, to me, the album represents grief. I lost my mother about a year and a half ago, and listening to that album and knowing the song titles tore me apart. Locusts and I-IV didn't cut as deep as Together did for me, but nonetheless, they're still great albums. Off topic but I sleep to the Together album....most nights... because it's so peaceful.

Trent's instrumental work means a lot to me. All of his work means a lot to me. But if you're one of those people who have only seen the track list to Ghosts I-IV and tell yourself that you're not going to listen to it because you " don't like instrumental music " like mama once said, don't knock it till you try it. you might be missing out on something great.

[oneweek-at-a-time]

underscores - wallsocket | you don't even know who i am, and how personal music is OR, the trans experience viewed through binoculars

music is something that, for a long time, wasn't important to me. it was an okay form of media, i had songs i liked when they came on the radio, but i never really cared for it. the most annoying, immutable fact about me, however, is that i got my love of music from osu! of all places, which to be both frank AND honest is about as bad as it gets. as time has gone on though, and both my love for music and media literacy have gotten substantially better, music has grown into.. everything for me. self expression, relation, emotional release, narrative satisfaction, music is this perfect form of art to me, made substantially more perfect by how subjective and personal it is (yes, all... one second... 130 of these words were just introduction!! and they're all important, i'll be testing ye about them)

as i've alluded to in my other post(s), wallsocket is an album that holds substantial weight to me. it's an outlet for my growing trans angst, it's allowed me to feel heavy , and has allowed me to process a lot of stuff going on in my head. today's song, you don't even know who i am, is the perfect example of just how subjective music is. the track is a large part of the wallsocket ARG, something i admittedly don't know a lot about, but from what i've gathered, it seems to be about one of the characters, Sonny, breaking into another girl's house, and as she describes, "...wore your clothes, took your pills, cried your makeup off". it's meant to be a song about a stalking relationship Sonny has with this other girl, the music video hints to as much, and like i said, is a major piece of the wallsocket ARG.

however, this is not what i get out of the song. i don't see a stalker, i don't see parasociality (is that a word? it is now), i don't see a tie to a greater story. to me, and what this song means to me, is a song about the negatives of being trans, specifically being in the closet, and, more personally, dealing with my dissociative disorder. it personally means so much more to me if you take the two people of the song (the "you", and the "i") and view them through the lens of being one.

the song begins (beginning, meaning to me, that there's no lyrics of substance before this point) quite slowly, taking an unorthodox 10 bars. i've talked about how much variance April's music takes to get started, how much it matters, and how much it adds to the song. here, it being such an odd length gives me these very cluttered, overthinking feelings, trying your damndest to get your head in order despite every single thought running through them.

when the song does get going, the repeating theme of the song starts, with the vocalist saying "i know", and then telling a hypothetical second person about compromising information they know about them.

"i know where you came from.

and i know who your best friends are."

and while it's very easy to see why this is a song about stalking, it's just as easy for me to see it as your "trans identity", or as an alter. it makes so much sense to me if you think about the person vocalising the song being someone who's in your body, instead of a separate person. there's various lyrics that tie that together for me, stuff that would be extremely difficult for a stalker to find out, stuff that makes more sense to me if you think about this "stalker" actually just being someone inside you, namely;

"i know what you're scared of.

and i know what your blood type is."

especially knowing about blood type, something that you'll definitely find out in life, but isn't really spoken about frequently, it instantly nails it in the coffin for me personally that it has to be about yourself, someone inside, another identity. i relate to this person both as a trans identity and as an alter, used interchangeably. and this song just seems to "get me." a lot of times during my transition i feel like i'm looking through a window, at the person i was, though at times i look at the person i am now, through the identity of who i was, and reflect on that. being trans isn't sunshine and rainbows. it's struggle, it's massive hardship, and it's terrifyingly easy to lose who you are. this song to me is a reminder, to myself, not to forget who i am, to not let myself become a mindless drone too disappointed with themselves to do anything. and in relation to my dissociation disorder, never to let the people in my head feel like they have a reason to be jealous of my life.

edit: want to add one thing quick; the whole ",,,wore your clothes, took your pills, cried your makeup off" line to me, and others, such as "i think i'm in love with the cards you were dealt" and "i know that i scare you. but i'm nowhere near the worst you've seen." can be re-contextualised as this sort of jealousy for an ideal version of yourself, of the person, striving to be something so wholly unobtainable. and, in a slightly more vain way, these lines tie me to my feelings of the song stronger, of it being another identity in your head. it's pretty obvious for dissociative disorders, but for transgenderism it's more complicated. there's a person looking out, seeing themselves living as their ideal gender and being jealous, but also this trans identity looking in, jealous of how simple life was before these thoughts crept in, became overbearing, and they realised just how hard living as their born gender is, and while they're happy to transition, they're living the gender they want to be, it's hard not to look back and naively think "i was happier" when in reality, things were just more simple.

this one was heavy chat, i do apologise!! but like i said, music is so, so personal, and my love for music is immense. combined, it makes it so i have to talk about it, write it down somewhere, and that place is here. feel free to disagree with me, find your own meaning in the music, that's what it's all about!! but if you choose my meaning, thank you.

i promise i'll do a happier song next time. i think im going to do these sort of introspective reviews of wallsocket in its entirety, then talk about other music/media that i love soooooooo subscribe for that!!!

[cantcompetewhereudontcompare]

Fine Line lyric analysis

I have too many plates spinning at the same time, but I was having a conversation with a friend about this last night, and she encouraged me to make a post about it. I haven't been able to get it out of my mind ever since.

The original theory isn't mine, or my friend's, or even from the group chat we were talking on, but a compilation of different things we've seen around for a while and that we started to chat about a while ago. Apologies if whoever originally thought about any of this sees this post and recognizes anything about it, not meaning to steal anything

The conversation came up the same way random themes come up in group chats, so I know perfectly well it's random to bring it up now.

As we all know, most of Fine Line (the album) is about Harry's ex girlfriend Camille Rowe.

This was on the back of the album

Which is a reference to Camille's tattoo

Not all songs on the album are about her, but we can infer (Harry hasn't confirmed anything) that most of them are.

This is the tracklist of the album, I'll add if I think it's about her or not next to the track.

Golden - About Camille

Watermelon Sugar - About Camille

Adore You - Maybe about Camille / Maybe not

Lights Up - Not about Camille

Cherry - About Camille

Falling - About Camille

To Be So Lonely - About Camille

She - Not about Camille

Sunflower, Vol. 6 - About Camille

Canyon Moon - About Camille

Treat People With Kindness - Not about Camille

Fine Line - Partially about Camille

First less address the ones not about her

Adore You

I think Adore You could be about her because thematically it fits (it's somewhat similar to Watermelon Sugar), but I think "brown skin" would be an odd descriptor for her (since she's not really known to even tan) plus the timing of it doesn't really fit.

We know he wrote Adore You in May 2019 because Amy Allen (co-writer of the song) posted about it in her stories at the time. This was about a year after he and Camille broke up, when Camille had been dating Theo (her current boyfriend) for a long time.

Absolutely not impossible that it's about her, but I would say inconclusive. It could be just a feel-good song about finding infatuation again after being heartbroken. There's nothing in the song that points directly to her to make it conclusive.

Lights Up

Harry said this song is about self-reflection and self-discovery. I think it's an introspective song that's not about anyone other than himself.

She

I think it's a song similar to Lights Up in that it's about introspection. Harry hasn't said anything other than he wrote it while high on mushrooms.

Treat People With Kindness

Not much interpretation and explanation is necessary. It's a kooky song.

Now, the ones that are about her. There's a common misconception that the album is in chronological order and tells the story of a relationship, but that's not really true. Canyon Moon seems to be a happy song about missing her when things were well, and it's one of the last songs on the album.

My chronological order of the songs (and remember, everything here is speculation and interpretation).

1 - Watermelon Sugar 2 - Canyon Moon 3 - Golden 4 - Fine Line 5 - Falling 6 - To Be So Lonely 7 - Cherry 8 - Sunflower, Vol. 6

Watermelon Sugar

This one is self-explanatory because it gives you the timeframe in the song itself. "Baby you're the end of June." Obviously he's comparing the object of his desire to the summer season, but also, that's when he and Camille started dating.

We don't know exact dates or anything, but Camille started following Harry on Instagram between June 22 and June 25, according to this timeline of the relationship (Harry followed her first in 2016). Harry was first teased about the relationship live on the radio July 17th and they were first pictured together July 21st.

The name of the song is a nod to one of Camille's favorite books, 'In Watermelon Sugar' by Richard Brautigan, which Camille mentioned in this interview with Elle in August 2017

Harry said in his Tiny Desk performance that this book was in the studio while he was writing music and the title of the book inspired him. He has also said that the song came about while in a studio in Nashville in September 2017.

Canyon Moon

This song is, presumably, about late 2017, when Harry was first on tour solo and he and Camille were still in the honeymoon stage.

Camille lived in Beachwood Canyon with her BFF Lauren Cohan. This song is basically saying that while he's on tour, Harry misses those evenings with her, in her backyard, listening to music, surrounded by friends, under the moon.

The song references Kid Harpoon's wife Jenny. Kid Harpoon was Harry's good friend and producer. He and his wife became good friends with Camille.

"The world's happy waiting. Door's yellow, broken blue. I heard Jenny saying, 'Go get the kids from school.' And I keep thinking back to the time under the Canyon moon."

Essentially, the world is waiting for him, but he's on the phone with his girlfriend who's back home with his friends, and he overhears one of his friends talking in the background.

This is a video Camille posted on her Instagram stories while Harry was on tour. In it, she's hanging out with Jenny and Kid.

The song also references Camille's ex boyfriend Devendra Banhart.

"Quick pause in conversation, she plays songs I've never heard. An old lover's hippie music. Pretends not to know the words."

(A little bit of a dig at Devendra there too with the "songs I've never heard")

Camille and Devendra were together for about two years until right before she and Harry started dating, and he most definitely qualifies as "hippie music."

The entire song is about Harry anticipating getting back home to her. Harry toured Europe (which is referenced in the lyrics "through Paris or through Rome") twice, first in 2017 with small theater tours, and then in 2018 with bigger arena tours. This song seems to reference the first part of tour, in 2017, particularly because Camille was at Harry's show in Paris in 2018.

While Harry didn't do a show in Rome specifically in 2017, he did do a show in Milan. In fact, his European leg started in Paris and ended in Milan, and he had an off day right before the Milan show. Considering he has a lot of friends in Rome, he probably spent it there (also, Milan wouldn't have fit the metric of the song lol).

Camille was with Harry until right before he started this leg of tour, as she was in the audience with his family at his performance in We Can Survive (a cancer awareness concert), October 21st 2017.

October 25 till November 10 is exactly two weeks and two days. In the song he says "two weeks and I'll be home."

That said, Camille did join him for the last two dates of this tour, but most likely scenario, he wrote the song either during or about the beginning, when he was a little sad to be away from her for that time:

"Gotta see it to believe it, the sky's never looked so blue. So hard to leave it, but that's what I always do. So I keep thinking back to a time under the Canyon moon."

Perhaps at the time he wrote the song he didn't know she'd be joining him.

Golden

This is the beginning of the end, the dreading anticipation of what's about to come. In this song, Harry comes to terms with the fact that he doesn't see a lot of future in the relationship, and he's devastated by it.

"I don't wanna let you go. I don't wanna be alone when it ends."

It's daunting. A Chronicle of a Death Foretold.

This is obviously speculation because Camille hasn't said anything directly about it and Harry has only said anything through song, but we can infer because of other interviews and timing, that Harry was way more into her than she was into him. This is not a dig at either of them. Sometimes that just happens.

She was with Devendra for about two years and she said, while dating him, that she wanted to settle down with him. They abruptly broke it off in May/June 2017, and she immediately started dating Harry. We'll revisit the end of her and Harry's relationship in a little bit, but it shares similarities in the sense that she also seemingly moved on pretty fast.

Camille also recently revealed that she met Theo a year before they got together, but that they didn't get together at the time because they weren't mature enough to handle those feelings. This means that when she got with Harry, she had recently met Theo and seemingly had feelings for him. (She said this in her Elle France interview, which is not only in French but also not online, so I can't really link a source).

This in no way says anything about her or her character. It can happen to anyone, to dismiss a relationship with someone because it's too intense and you don't know how to handle it, and perhaps a relationship with someone else is more accessible. And it doesn't mean that this second person isn't important or that you're using them. It's just life.

But it would explain why Harry felt the way he did. He felt like he was "so open" and she, in turn, wouldn't open at all. At the time, Harry chalked it up to her having been hurt and ending up heartbroken before, but it could just be that he simply wasn't the right person for her. And that sucks, but once again, it's life.

Regardless of him knowing that it likely wasn't going to work out, he fell hard.

"But I can't feel you take a hold, I can feel you take control, of who am I and all I've ever known"

Harry and Camille met right about the time his stepfather, Robin, passed away. Robin passed June 20th 2017. In his song Ever Since New York, which is about finding out Robin was diagnosed with terminal cancer (he said this in a few interviews), he says "there's no antidote." In Golden he says "loving you's the antidote."

Of course falling for Camille wouldn't "cure" the fact that he's heartbroken by the loss of his stepfather, but it's very likely that falling in love on the heels of such a huge loss healed him a little bit, made him feel better at a terrible time. This is for another day, but in his song Daylight, off his third album, he mentions someone being/having an antidote again ("you got the antidote"). That song also seems to be about Camille.

Before I continue analyzing songs...

I should point out a little bit more about the timeline of events, especially because it will affect basically every song that comes after this.

Harry and Camille were seemingly in a good place until March 2018. I say "seemingly" because we do not know them, of course. She would post stuff on social media that alluded to him, or his friends, or follow his family. His family would follow and interact with her. She would go to shows, etc.

As I said before, Camille was in Paris for his second show in 2018 (his first show was in Basel). This was March 13 2018. In the following days, Camille would be spotted at his shows sporadically, or she would post Instagram stories from art galleries that happened to be in the cities he was touring.

For instance, she posted this pic March 21st 2018 (it's still up in her highlights), which is Untitled (cowboy) by Richard Prince, 1999, and it's exhibited in the Astrup Fearnley Museum of Modern Art in Oslo, Norway

Harry had a show in Oslo that same day

This happened a few times, so it's likely that Harry was arranging private showings at the museum to be with her while on tour. Keep this in mind.

Camille seemed to have gone back home after this. We don't know if she had work, if they had a fight, if she was homesick. We just know that she went home. And by going home she missed Harry's Home London and Manchester shows, which were April 9, 11, and 12, which were attended by his million of friends and family members.

That was odd, and it was also odd that they didn't seem to see each other at all for several weeks (particularly because he was writing whole songs about being away from her for two weeks a few months prior).

She did go to the venue of his show in Dublin, which was April 16 and was seen chatting with him while Mabel, the opener, was playing, but she apparently didn't stay for his actual show. The timeline I linked earlier claims that she flew to London with him afterwards, but that's... speculation based on nothing, as neither of them were spotted in London. She was usually spotted at the shows when she was there and she was not spotted at this one (even though she was spotted during the opening act).

Harry had a show in Perth, Australia, April 21st, and he was first spotted there at around 2 PM local time the 20th, which would be very early morning in London.

A nonstop flight from London to Perth is about 16/17 hours, putting him actually getting on the plane late night the 18th or early hours of the day the 19th. This to say, that the timeline I linked earlier, while well-meaning, makes a lot of assumptions trying to make their relationship A-okay at this point in time, by, for instance, claiming that they spent time together in London between Dublin and Australia. But there's no indication this is the case, and at most it was two days.

What the timeline does get right is that Harry uses a new guitar for his Sydney show the 27th. This guitar, we now know for a fact, was painted by Nikolai Haas, who was a close friend of Camille's (more on him later).

Nikolai is based in LA and Harry hadn't been to LA in months. Camille had just been to LA before Dublin, so it is pretty likely that she went to his show specifically to give him the guitar. All speculation, of course. Camille did have work in London afterwards, so a trip to Dublin wouldn't be too much of a bother.

The timeline also mentions Camille liking a post of Harry's for the first time May 2nd. It wasn't actually the first post she liked of his, but the second. The first one was a March For our Lives post he uploaded on March 24th (right after she left). It does mark a shift in attitude on Camille's end. This is absolute pure speculation, but it's very possible that at this point they were no longer together, at least not in any official capacity. That her leaving his tour marked their separation in a very amicable way and that's why she felt, let's say freer, to interact with him on social media. Remember she'd followed him for close to a year at this point and had never liked anything he'd posted.

Her leaving the tour, them being apart for weeks on end for the first time, her missing his hometown shows. None of it says anything by itself, but it's a pattern that continues repeating.

The timeline I posted speculates that they disappeared and reappeared at the same time in England between May 14-20th and that that meant they probably spent time together. There's literally nothing at all pointing to this. And the truth of the matter is they hadn't seen each other in a month between April 16-17 and May 14 anyway.

Harry then continued with his tour, this time in Latin America and part of America, and Camille didn't go to a single one of his shows, nor did they spend any time in close proximity, for another month and then some.

Harry then had two shows in Madison Square Garden, June 21st and 22nd, and Camille did go to the second one. And we know she went to the second one specifically because she posted from the plane doing LA-NYC, June 22nd.

She had a photoshoot that day in NYC, btw.

As an asterisk, because we're about to get in muddy waters, at this point Camille was acting single. And I mean this in the most respectful possible way, because she probably was.

This is her and Alexander Skarsgard June 14 2018.

This was a couple of weeks later (it's very blurry but the original account that posted it got deleted, so this will have to suffice). It's Camille sitting on Alexander Skarsgard's lap, watching the France national team during the World Cup against Belgium (July 10th).

Around this time, Alexa Chung, who introduced Harry and Camille and was close friends with both of them, unfollowed Camille on social media. I can't prove this to you, but she followed Camille and often interacted with her posts, and they were, well... friends. They hung out. This was literally a couple of weeks prior (Camille still follows Alexa):

Alexa had dated Alexander up until July 2017. I presume she and Camille are all good now, just not, well... friends. They do seem to run in the same circles and I doubt Alexa would hold a grudge all these years later, but she did unfollow in 2018 when Camille and Alexander did whatever it is they did, and to this day she does not follow (it's a big deal for very Instagram dependent celebs like Alexa or Camille to follow/unfollow each other, don't let anyone tell you otherwise). The Sun would claim that Alexander and Camille were dating later (after they reported on Harry and Camille's breakup in like, late July), but they were late to the party and by then, Camille was already dating Theo.

But I don't wanna jump ahead. I'm trying to keep a semblance of chronology.

Camille went to Harry's second MSG show June 22nd and from mid March when she left his European tour and until now we have three long gaps of about a month each in which they do not see each other, with two tiny periods of 1-2 days in between in which they could've seen each other (but we have no proof they did) + we have Camille seemingly being... very friendly, with Alexander Skarsgard.

Camille was seen at Harry's MSG show, with his friends Max and Xander.

The day after the show, Harry went out with Xander and Max in NYC. And well, he got pretty fucking wasted (and yes, that is Joel Embiid's hand Harry is holding)

People speculated that Camille was there because of this picture, but it wasn't Camille - it was Farah Holt

She has deleted her ig and Waseem (Harry's close friend) has updated the caption ever since

This is a pic of her's that night.

(Not implying anything btw, just anticipating some of the things I remember people saying back then. It's clear that Camille wasn't there that night, and people thought the blonde girl was her, but it wasn't).

Harry had a show in DC the day after that (June 24th). People noticed him being off at the show from the get go, and all these years later it's a meme that he was pissed off.

In several interviews since then Harry said that he's fully sober while he's on tour because it affects the way he feels at the show later. He said he only did it once during his solo career, and the show afterwards was his least favorite.

Everyone in the quotes of that tweet understood immediately which show he was referencing.

Before we theorize any further, let me fast-forwards to the end, because there's not much more left to say.

After this show Camille attended, she didn't go to any others until the very last one, which was July 14 in LA. She wasn't seen in the friends and family section, but in the stands with some of her friends, and she didn't stay for the after party or go backstage. She just left. There were pictures of her leaving The Forum in the parking lot with her friends (I don't think there's a chance in hell I'll find them, forgive me), while Harry was still inside helping the crew pack up the stage (it was a whole thing, workers posted pics of him in the venue at like 2 AM).

At this point, she was likely already dating Theo, given...

Her fan accounts had noticed her posting stuff about Theo or with Theo for a while, this post is from August 16th, but it'd been weeks at that point. It's impossible to scroll and find anything concrete 6 years later, but anyone who was online at the time can attest. To this day Camille is with Theo.

Theo Niarchos is a son/child of Greek aristocracy. His family owns multiple galleries and museums. This will also come up later.

Now let's go to the songs.

Fine Line

I said this song is partially about Camille, because I think it's also pretty introspective. I think he's not just talking about the demise of their relationship and the work he had to do to be better after it, but also about healing in general, about working on himself and getting to a better, more mature, more solid place.

He said he started writing this song in January 2018, but he never said when he finished it, so I do think at that time, he and Camille were mostly in a good place. When he starts a song melodically and where it ends up lyrically are two completely different things.

The song doesn't have a lot of lyrics, but the verses are very wordy and important. I'll break them down.

"Put a price on emotion, I'm looking for something to buy"

He's so desperate for emotion, for any emotion, that he's willing to pay for it. This goes with the Golden lyrics where she wouldn't open up to him while he was super open and yearning for more of a connection. It seems it's reaching a breaking point.

You've got my devotion, but man I can hate you sometimes.

This will come up later in Falling and TBSL, this dichotomy of loving this person (Camille) endlessly, but feeling anger and frustration with her.

"I don't want to fight you, and I don't want to sleep in the dirt."

This idea of him sleeping "in the dirt" (away from her) after a fight will also come up later.

The imagery of sleeping alone is one that Harry repeats a lot in his music, going all the way back to Don't Let Me Go (the first song that ever leaked with just his vocals back in 2013). It seems to signify something to him, sleeping (as in, actually sleeping, not sex) with the person he loves vs alone in his bed.

We'll get the drinks in, so I'll get to thinking of her

This, this is important. He's not getting the drinks with her, he's getting the drinks with friends. And as he's getting the drinks with friends, his mind goes to her. We'll get back to this.

The chorus is the yearning, "we'll be a fine line"

"Test of my patience, there's things that we'll never know. You sunshine, you temptress, my hand's at risk, I fold. Crisp trepidation, I'll try to shake this soon. Spreading you open is the only way of knowing you."

This verse deserves to be talked about together in its entirety because it's so... fucking heartbreaking. He's comparing her to sunshine again (see, Golden, where she shines too bright for him). "My hand's at risk, I fold" means that he realizes he's about to lose, so he gives up. It's using poker imagery. The picture he paints is someone who's betting and betting until he realizes he's not going to win, so he folds.

She won't open up to him (once again, see "Golden"). Spreading her open, sex, is the only way of getting to her. She'll give him her body, but she'll give him nothing else.

This repeats itself in the unreleased leaked song Make My Day, where he says:

I make lots of money, build a big house Put an extra sink in, say I’ll settle down Friends call me a loner, I know they’re wrong She asked me to choke her, I play along

He wants to settle down with her - she wants sex that he doesn't really mean. He plays along. Coincidentally this seems to be something he repeats in the song Keep Driving (Harry's House), but we won't get into that now.

I don't have a conclusion for this song alone, because he talks about this again in Falling

Falling

"I'm in my bed, and you're not here, and there's no one to blame but the drink in my wandering hands."

People often think he's alluding to cheating here. He's very clearly not. Camille, all her friends, all her family, all seem to be on perfectly good terms with Harry. There's a song we'll analyze in just a minute that claims that she's asking to be friends with him after they break up. That makes NO sense.

We just went over a song in which he gets drunk with his friends and starts thinking about her, and where he talks about how sex is the only thing on the table with her because she won't open up in any other capacity.

This sentence, to me, is alluding to the fact that he just had sex with her (wandering hands) while drunk (the drink) but they're not together anymore (I'm in my bed and you're not here). There's no one to blame for falling in bed again with his ex he still loves but the drink in his wandering hands.

He KNOWS he shouldn't hook up with her anymore because all she's willing to give him is sex, because she's checked out of the relationship and seeing other people, but he does it anyway, because he's weak. Was was it that he said? "My hand's at risk, I fold."

"Forget what I said. It's not what I meant. But I can't take it back. I can't unpack the baggage you left."

What was it that he said? "I don't want to fight you and I don't wanna sleep in the dust." Remember? He's alluding to saying something he doesn't mean, but not being able to take it back. This will be repeated again in a third song. But let's finish this one first.

What am I now? What am I now? What if I'm someone I don't want around? I'm falling again, I'm falling again, I'm fallin'

Essentially: I hate myself, I hate what I'm doing to myself. I hate it here.

What if I'm down? What if I'm out? What if I'm someone you won't talk about? I'm falling again, I'm falling again, I'm fallin'

He's worried that if he doesn't do this, if he doesn't have sex with her, then she won't talk about him anymore. She won't think about him anymore. She'll forget all about him.

It kills him to do just sex, just casual, just friends with her, but what if not doing that results in her fully forgetting about him? Not needing him? Not thinking about him?

You said you cared, and you missed me too And I'm well aware I write too many songs about you And the coffee's out at the Beachwood Cafe And it kills me 'cause I know we've run out of things we can say

"You said you cared and you missed me too." If I'm right about the timing, of this happening after his MSG show, right before the DC show, the night that he got drunk with his friends, then it makes perfect sense.

He gets drunk, he thinks about her (because he just saw her, and she's in the area). He calls her, drunk, goes home to her (she had an apartment in NYC as well as her house in LA), they sleep together, and she tells him that of course she cares about him, of course she missed him - they hadn't seen each other in at least a month, possibly two.

But the conversation is awkward. They have nothing to talk about because she doesn't love him that way anymore.

And I get the feeling that you'll never need me again (Oh)

It's devastating. He loves her so much, but she moved on and is over him. That tiny physical connection is all that's left, and he's breaking inside.

We know that the Beachwood Café is Camille's favorite coffee shop as well. (Link to an archived version of the interview, which came out right before Fall 2019, a few months before Fine Line).

And the music video makes it perfectly clear it's about her. The window opens to a very subtle shot of the Eiffel tower

Camille was born in Paris. There are also very unsubtle shots of his left hand playing the piano, while wearing Camille's ring

Not that we needed proof of who this song was about, but ooh well

To Be So Lonely

Don't blame me for falling I was just a little boy

I don't take credit for this because so many people have said it before me, but I bet you she called him a little boy at some point. (She's about 4 years older. They were 23/27 and 24/28 during their relationship)

In Falling he's apologizing, and lamenting. Now he's like "you know what? Nope. Not my fault.

Don’t blame the drunk caller. Wasn't ready for it all

So he got drunk with friends, thought about her, called her, went to her house, they slept together... pretty clear image isn't it?

You can't blame me, darling, not even a little bit. I was away And I’m just an arrogant son of a bitch who can't admit when he's sorry

This is very obviously some private conversation they had. This is Harry being petty and throwing back things she said to him. I'm endlessly intrigued by "I was away" perhaps talking about her being with Alexander while he was on tour? It's impossible to know because while there's a lot we can gleam from looking at timelines and stuff (always just speculation) at the end of the day, he's incredibly cryptic when he wants to be. He's not Taylor Swift who paints a very vivid picture that anyone following her lore can put together. This? Only she can understand what he means. Maybe his producers.

Don't call me "baby" again, you got your reasons I know that you're tryna be friends, I know you mean it

This. This is why the idea that he's apologizing for cheating on her in Falling makes NO sense. She wants to be friends and continues to call him baby. I know she's a cool chick who doesn't GAF about much of anything, but that makes no fucking sense.

Now, if they were friends with benefits after they ended things, then that... that makes sense.

She's so cool, all good, she's over him. So she's fine hooking up with him here and there (while hooking up with other people). She's over him. She can call him "baby" and whatever other term of endearment. She never fully opened up to him, not the way he did. He actually thinks she's too good for him (Golden).

He's not claiming that she's malicious either. She fully feels this way, and that's valid, because she's not responsible for his feelings, or the fact that he's a mess and a half who's still head over heels in love with her.

Don't call me "baby" again, it's hard for me to go home Be so lonely

Once again the imagery of sleeping alone. Of going home after sex and sleeping alone. He hates that. They're sleeping together (having sex) but sleeping apart (actually sleeping). And that kills him.

I just hope you see me in a little better light Do you think it's easy being of the jealous kind?

Once again alluding to a fight. Perhaps his jealous streak is what he said that he regrets in Falling? Who is he jealous of? Maybe Alexander? Maybe someone else? Maybe the situation in general?

He's basically saying, I hope you know I wasn't trying to be mean or jealous when I don't have any right to be. I hope you think better of me.

’Cause I miss the shape of your lips You’ll win, it's just a trick And this is it, so I’m sorry

It seems that Harry has put an end to the cycle. In the Falling music video, he cycles through being soaking wet on the floor and a mess, and being on the piano, playing the keys that make the water fall and flood the room, drowning him.

When the music video begins, he's already wet:

He misses her, so he has to put an end to it, because otherwise the cycle that makes him miserable will continue. "So this is it, so I'm sorry."

"You'll win, it's just a trick." + "My hand's at risk, I fold"

These three songs go on top of each other and enmesh each other all over. They seem to be talking about the same exact thing, just slightly different angles of it, because it's at slightly different stages.

In Fine Line, he's about to do that thing that hurts him. In Falling, he's already done it, and regrets it. In To Be So Lonely, he decides he's not going to do it anymore. All three songs mention drinking, all three songs mention sleeping alone, all three songs mention fighting with the person he loves.

In Fine Line he triumphally says he'll be alright, likely because he's looking at the situation from afar, after having gone through it. It's not just about this situation with Camille, likely, but about working on himself and getting himself out of it. Getting better. Taking care of himself.

Cherry

This song is the aftermath of To Be So Lonely. In To Be So Lonely he asks her "Don't call me baby again"

In Cherry he says:

Don't you call him "baby" We're not talkin' lately Don't you call him what you used to call me

It's a play with words. Don't call me baby, but also don't call HIM baby either. He's fully aware of how petulant it is. Not me, because you won't give yourself fully to me. But also not him??

She asked him not to call him, so they're not talking lately. Just because we don't talk, don't think you can call him what you used to call me.

I, I confess I can tell that you are at your best I'm selfish so I'm hating it

She's with Theo, and he tells, from afar, that she's happy. She never fully gave herself to Harry, but she did to Theo. And Harry hates it.

I wanna say, I don't think it's selfish that he hates it. In normal circumstances, sure, but if your ex who you loved (and still love) never fully gave themselves to you but does to the person right after, then I don't think it's selfish to be upset by it. But I do like that Harry is self aware enough and critical enough of himself to call himself out on those petty thoughts

I noticed that There's a piece of you in how I dress Take it as a compliment

This is me being petty but I don't think he means actual clothes and it's crazy to me that some people credit Camille with his entire street style in 2017-2019. He's talking about her ring, most likely. A piece, not, "I dress exactly how you liked me to dress." He can't exactly say "I wear one of your accessorieeees" now can he? He's making it poetic.

I, I just miss I just miss your accent and your friends Did you know I still talk to them?

He's talking about Nikolai, the man who painted his guitar. And thankfully, Harry seems to have kept Nikolai (and his wife Djuna) in the divorce.

This is Harry with Nikolai a few months ago

I'm sure they're on good terms with Camille. I'm just happy Harry doesn't have to miss them lol

Does he take you walking 'round his parents' gallery?

Anyway, I'm not exactly discovering anything. Anyone with minor knowledge on the subject already knows that Camille's new boyfriend (and current boyfriend) is Theo Niarchos.

His grandfather is Stavros Niarchos, a Greek oil tycoon and one of the world's richest men. His first son, Philip Niarchos, inherited Stavros' art collection and owns incredible paintings such as Van Gogh's self-portrait and Basquiat's self-portrait (Harry admires Basquiat a lot, so I'm sure this was personal for him).

Philip is Theo's father. So when Harry says "does he take you walking 'round his parents' gallery?" he's saying "I didn't have rich parents and I closed out galleries for you." (If he's not saying that, then I'm saying that goddammit).

The ending of the song features him crying agonizingly while she laughs cheerily in a voice note (which she gave him permission to use. Insanity)

Sunflower, Vol. 6

This is one of my favorite songs he's ever written because he takes all of this pain that we just described and he goes "alright, well, I'm gonna be happy anyway."

He's reminiscing on the good parts of the relationship:

Sunflower Sunflower, my eyes want you more than a melody

(...) I couldn't want you any more Kiss in the kitchen like it's a dance floor I couldn't want you any more Tonight (Tonight, tonight, tonight) (...) Wondering, headshake Tired eyes are the death of me Mouthful of toothpaste before I got to know you I've got your face hung up high in the gallery

All those little things, the cotidianity of the first few times someone sleeps over, brushing your teeth side by side, seeing them just woken up, hanging around in the kitchen making breakfast. He's thinking back to all that.

While also being really sad that they don't have that anymore:

I don't wanna make you feel bad But I've been trying hard not to talk to you Sunflower (Sunflower, sunflower) (...) I don't wanna make you feel bad But I've been trying hard not to act a fool Sunflower (Sunflower, sunflower)

Because he told her they shouldn't talk, and he doesn't want to make a fool of himself while she's with someone else. And also being really sad that she never got to open up to him fully.

Let me inside, I wanna get to know you (...) Let me inside, wish I could get to know you

And he's saying, the flowers (the relationship) have died (ended), but they're sunflowers. And when sunflowers die, you get sunflower seeds. The very center of a sunflower is where its seeds are, and the flower needs to die for hundreds if not thousands of seeds to come out.

It's all part of the process. It's a stage of growth, hence Vol. 6.

He's taking all of this, all of these feelings, all of this yearning, all of this love, and he's planting it in his melody, in my music. He's making art out of his heartbreak.

Sunflowers sometimes keep it sweet in your memory (...) Your flowers just died, plant new seeds in the melody (...) Sunflowers just died, keep it sweet in your memory

The flowers died, but I'm planting them in my melody, and the good things will live forever.

Fine Line is a beautiful album, which does tell a story beginning to end, just not chronologically.

There aren't any bad guys, or bad people. He's not calling himself out. Or her out. He's not pointing fingers. He's not mad.

He's processing going through this heartbreak, and trying to make it all better. Learning from it, getting to know himself. One day I'll analyze Lights Up and She a little closer, but that day won't be for a while, because this fandom is incapable of being normal about that sort of thing.

I have other things cooking, but tonight I just wanted it to be about Harry and the beautiful album he made, and the wonderful conversations me and my friends have when we miss him.

I hope he's doing alright, taking care of himself, and surrounded by family.

If anyone made it all the way here, congrats! And thank you.

I'll probably run through this lately and correct a few grammar mistakes, but I just want to put it out now.