#and you know. obviously i personally have my own clear ideas of everything. and i'm content with what i got. this isn't coming from a place

[geekynichelle]

Slight spoilers...

Also just to get this out of the way, I don't mean anything I'm going to say in a "woe is me/reverse colorism is real" kind of way, I just want to be matter of fact. That, and both my parents are Black so my ancestry isn't the same as Hailee Steinfeld, but I am somewhat ambiguous looking.

Right before I saw the movie a video was recommended to me about the character of Mary in Sinners, and obviously I didn't watch it in case there were spoilers, but the title implied that the person felt like she was a character that didn't work. Based on what happens in the movie though, I kinda disagree because without her a few things do change and she does move the plot forward.

"What are you?" is a question Mary gets asked by Sammie, and it's one I've gotten often growing up. I sorta wish I'd answered "human" sarcastically since I never really had a problem with being dry witted with other topics. It got me in the habit of constantly feeling the need to explain myself to others, although to be clear I did get that question more from white people. Operating in that weird area of privilege and marginalization can be rather alienating at times, and from experience it is a bit dehumanizing especially if no one else can really relate and you don't want to come across as acting like you have it the hardest of all. I feel comfortable when I'm around Black people, and I've never tried to pass for white, but I don't like to pretend I experience Blackness the way the vast majority of Black people in America (or even in my own family) do. I've worked through any lingering identity issues I've had in the past, but when I'm out with my mom's side of the family especially, I do feel like I look like Mary, a pale face that stands out. Mary's attempt to use her privilege to get the 411 on the white vampires backfiring is sorta what it feels like to be around white people that portray themselves as safe and cool. If you lower your guard you will get eaten, and passing won't help you then.

I don't know what could have worked for her in the 1930s, because I can't imagine not being able to be around my family for their safety and mine. I do know that considering the themes of Sinners, her identity issues directly relate to the idea of true community and acceptance. The asian couple weren't Black at all, but they contributed and clearly felt comfortable being around Blackness (not just Black people) and that was why they were able to be at the function. In spite of everything Mary was welcome and her mother was with the people, but doubt crept in, and that feeling of being othered, and that is why she was the first of the main group to turn.

Ultimately I guess it was nice to see a character that looked like her that actually didn't want to hide or run away from her Blackness, while still acknowledging the privileges that come with passing.

[runebears]

sorry im just thinking about bcs but like. why not add a few smaller scenes of gus interacting with his own men? why does it seem like, in comparison, mike is almost immediately elevated to a higher status than those two in bcs purely because we actually get to see him having normal conversations with gus? like i understand they might not keep the plot moving as well because of the fact obviously if victor is currently doing something it’s because gus told him to etc. but for the most part all of the smaller interactions gus does have with those two ends up being in a somewhat high stress situation where it feels very tense between everyone. and it’s just like damn! is it always like that?? why do those two even care that much about their jobs if their boss is a bit of a dick? etc. i think even an additional scene or two with those guys (either alone or the both of them) talking with gus in a more normal situation could’ve both added a bit more depth into how gus treats his employees (we got a lot with how he treats lyle and co., but not a whole lot with the illegal side of things), how comfortable vic and tyrus feel around him in a calmer setting, and exactly why they both feel the need to be as loyal as they are to the guy.

and also on the other side of this i don't think it'd hurt to maybe elaborate on their pay just a bit..? i'm not saying to randomly put a number out into the atmosphere but i just mean some smaller things like. do they buy nicer things for themselves? what's their housing situation? what's their car situation? are the escalade / yukon their own vehicles or does gus just use those two for business situations? do they use them when they're doing their own stuff off the clock or do they have their own cars? etc. that can also help with understanding their motivations a bit. don't get me wrong i don't think they should be visibly rich or something because that's not what gus would want but just smaller things! cause it's easy to write their loyalty off as Well they probably get paid super well, which i'm sure is true, but if they don't show a single hint of that then what's the point. even something as simple as giving tyrus a nice watch, or maybe victor having a nicer looking gun, etc. something small like that. because as it stands right now the average 41 year old viewer who watched the show once only knows and will only ever know victor and tyrus as those two guys in the background who do random stuff for gus with no clear motivation. just the personification of "On it boss (salute emoji)". and to be honest this is true for a whole lot of fans who do watch the show multiple times and enjoy thinking about it more in depth, because on screen we barely have anything about the two.

and to be clear i'm not trying to say we should have an episode just for them or something like no i understand they're side characters. i understand we don't need all that. and i understand this is also primarily Jimmy's show. but it's not like these two are on the same level as like, arlo or paige and kevin etc. these guys have been around since brba. victor was literally introduced in the same episode gus was. and they are a huge part of gus's story, especially in brba. s4 wouldn't have been what it was without victor and tyrus. and in bcs, ignacio's situation wouldn't have been the same if it weren't for victor and tyrus as well. and i just personally believe that if their goal with gus in bcs was to go back and elaborate on how everything came to be and show what he was like a few years younger, they could've dragged victor and tyrus into that. and i think his character would've benefited from taking that extra step with those two.

[nitewrighter]

Snow White and the Fae Co-Op

Part Two: Farcical Aquatic Ceremony

Part One

Oh jeez, you followed me out here? You're really hung up on Snow, huh? I mean that's not that surprising. Kind of part of the whole Princess-Messiah effect. Look, there's not much I can tell you about what happened immediately after. Me and my guys mind our business, when we can. But Snow did tell me about it, so if you don't mind the secondhand... did you see what I did there? Because I'm smoking? No, I'm not putting it out. You followed me out here.

Okay, so, to continue:

Snow was raised by the Evil Queen. Except not really because Evil Queen had better shit to do, probably. So Snow was raised by some well-meaning but not-super-affectionate nursemaids. Then there was a short period where she was being tutored alongside the Evil Queen's will-be-cupbearer-in-like-2-or-3 years. The pretty prince boy that Evil Queen took from Damp Kingdom. They tolerated each other.

You ever notice how kids will kind of... just awkwardly stand around each other when you put kids with like, 3 or 4 year age differences together? Like they could both be perfectly smart, normally-developed kids, but they're still weird around each other because they're at different developmental stages? Except now pepper in the fact that they're both incredibly fucked up by the fact that they're both basically political hostages. Their very existence is conditional. And Snow didn't even know how fucked she was, but growing up watching this other kid, she became very aware from a very young age, that she was in a fucked-up situation. So this other kid kind of traumatized her just by existing, but also he's the only other person who knows what she's going through. So there was this very weird 'shared resonance' between them but neither of them could really articulate it so you're basically stuck with two scared shitless kids standing next to each other and neither of them wants to talk about what they're going through because both are at very different stages for processing and articulating what they're going through.

To be honest, I don't really 'get it' but that's how Snow explained it to me. I'm still trying to figure out what she saw in the guy. He's a chickenshit. If he really cared about her, he would have come with her out here, but he didn't, and now everything's rotten and on fire. So here we are, and fuck him.

Okay getting sidetracked. You don't care about him, you care about Snow. Obviously. So, Snow grows up, and it's kind of clear, from early on, that Snow is human, but she's like... a human isotope, does that make sense? Like, yes, she is this element, but there is something more than and less than human in her, and that's kind of par for the course for someone who has been Chosen By The Deep End Fae For Nebulous, Miraculous, World-Changing Shit.

The more Snow grows up, the more Snow becomes a person, the more the Evil Queen becomes aware that there's a lot more than 'person' going on with this kid. The more she registers Snow as a threat.

And to be fair, she was right to.

Over the years the Evil Queen did try to form Snow in her own image--it couldn't be that hard, right? I mean the Fae literally jammed her heart into this fucking baby. Except... no. That's not what’s happening here. And the Fae are very very good at extremely personal 'Fuck you's,' so I need to give you an idea of what the Evil Queen is seeing in Snow.

It's very easy to hate someone you see your own weaknesses in, you see your own worst qualities reflected in someone else, except what if there was someone who was basically made in a lab to be everything you wish you were, slash everything you knew you could never be, and everyone fucking loved her for it.

The kindness you carved out of yourself years ago to survive, she has it and it makes people fawn over her and say, 'Oh the poor captive princess who's so very pretty.'

The tears that you desiccated out of yourself years ago bubble out of her like a goddamn Studio Ghibli character, and instead of the world mashing her into the dirt at that first sight of weakness like it's supposed to, it curls around her and goes, "Oh poor, poor, beautiful Princess."

The childish songs and dances and laughs and smiles that this world burned out of you are right there in her, and everyone laughs and sings and dances with her.

Everything you hated and cut out of yourself to survive lives and thrives in her, and the world cheers for it. The birds sing for it. The flowers bloom for it. The trees lower branches laden with fruit for it.

Hoof, I just made myself shudder.

But... yeah. The Evil Queen was already this Rube Goldberg machine of coping mechanisms to begin with, but seeing all that shit with Snow... I can't really fault her that it broke something in her.

And the Evil Queen still has the mirror with sight beyond sight, too, except just as ol' Mosscloak warned her, that gift is rotting in her hands.

Okay so, algorithms right? Algorithms need information input to shape themselves, BUT! It's very easy for them to get racist, right? They shape themselves to human biases. And also if it's getting a certain dataset for a certain amount of time, it will eventually train itself to do fucked up shit, because an algorithm doesn't actually reflect intelligence and reasoning and higher aspirations, it reflects human defaults, human assumptions, and human "Whatever I have to do to save effort" bullshit.

That's basically what happened with the Magic Mirror. Incredible cosmic power, incredible Fae vision and wisdom, but it was shaped more and more by human pettiness.

'oough why are you talking about tidepools and carcinization and isotopes and algorithms you're supposed to be magical and mysterious and shit.' Fuck off. I like reading. Snow taught me how to read. There hasn't been a lot to do but read.

Anyway, the information demands from the Queen basically amount to, "Tell me how Snow is my enemy" and from the Magic Mirror you basically get the Google AI results of:

Snow is totally your enemy! These are the Top 5 reasons why:

She's pretty

People like her

She's going to take everything you've ever built from you.

Cut her heart out. Kill her.

Kill her, you pussy.

Except the Queen is smart enough to know that's bullshit too, she knows that's a trap. She knows killing Snow will probably kill her too, because Snow is literally the vessel of her heart, so she hustles down to her Jury-Rigged Fuck-Fae-Deals Alchemy Witch Lab and she gets to work.

And then you smash cut to Snow, and she's a teenager now, and she's just sitting by a well like "Gee, Well, I'm just feeling real low what with this whole 'being a political prisoner for my entire childhood' thing." And this next part is boring so I'm going to skip over it--

Jeez, look, Snow always told this part better than me so it's better if--

Really? Tch--You're insatiable.

So, okay, I know the story says the evil queen dressed the Princess in rags and hid her away, but that's really more of human distortion and, unfortunately, general masses not really understanding that there's actually a very clear hierarchy in noble households.

The Evil Queen kept Snow as a Lady in Waiting, though, effectively, she was meant to be in more or less the same position as Prince Damp Kingdom as a cup-bearer and harp player: Human hood ornaments. Symbols of the Queen's conquest and power and how everything is hunky dory with her in charge.

But have you ever put together a cute outfit, and then you put a hat on the outfit, and then the hat distracts from the whole outfit and you're like, "This outfit would be complete if I was a Hat Person but I am not a Hat Person."

Snow is the Hat, but also the Evil Queen refuses to admit that she is not a Hat Person.

So I mean, all things considered Snow was pretty clean and well-kept during her stint in the palace, but of course she understood that she was in this very intense balancing act where she knew the more that people loved her, the more danger that put her in with the Queen. So she.... needed to take breaks where she could. She needed to stare down into a dark hole full of water, apparently.

Okay, so Snow is by the well right? And she's mindlessly singing into it, and she's hearing a voice harmonizing with her, and harp music playing too, but she kind of assumes its her own imagination. Snow has a... funky effect on reality, a funky relationship to it, and it kind of freaks her out. You know how judges can bang a gavel and suddenly something is law? Imagine if you could change something about the world just because you were sad about something or kind of horny for a little too long, just because you wanted something badly enough, the rules are briefly broken. Snow's broken rules before, and she doesn't trust that shit. The only other magic she's seen has been brief glimpses of the Evil Queen's mirror and her fucked up Faerie-law-circmventing alchemy, both are driven and warped by willpower, so... it's only natural that Snow fears her own.

Snow doesn't trust herself. Song is... a safer form for these things. It gives them body and ritual but lets them disperse. Keeps them contained. Look, I can't explain all the rules because I don't know all the rules. All I got is rocks singing to me, okay? But she's singing and she hears... accompaniment, and she doesn't really think anything of it because she knows her will can change her own perception, at the very least.

Also like, a shit-ton of finches have shown up, but that's fine, birds are fine, they're just hanging out.

The song she's singing is mostly just vocalizations at first, but gradually those are turning into words, those words into wants, and then theres another voice harmonizing along with her own, so equal in loneliness she thinks its an echo, rendered deeper by the distortions of the well, but then its punctuated by the pluck of harp strings, and she thinks, maybe that's just her imagination. But then she sees a shadow behind her in her reflection in the well, her singing abruptly steers into a short yelp, and she immediately throws an elbow behind herself and catches Prince Damp Kingdom hard across the face and kaboonnng his harp clatters on the ground and he's covering his nose and he's muffling a very unprincely, "Oh shit--" into his hands and Snow is saying, "Oh my god, I'm so sorry, you scared me--"

And he's still muffling his voice through his hands as he's trying to stem his bloody nose like, "No, I misread that--I didn't mean to--owww-fuck--"

And Snow's like, "Let me see."

And the Prince goes, "It's fine, I'm fine," even though you can see blood on his chin now and this is all kind of a comedy of errors of royal politeness

And Snow insists, "Let me see," and the Prince immediately drops his hands because, as I've said, Snow has that effect on people and then Snow's hands fly over her own mouth.

"Is it bad?" says the Prince, his voice already nasally from swelling.

"Um," Snow fishes a kerchief from one of her tie-on pockets, "I can--um..." she dabs his face and the kerchief is pretty much immediately sodden with his blood, and she withdraws her hand with the kerchief as he tilts his head up to stem the blood more, and he kind of catches her in the corner of his eye, the way his own blood-sodden handkerchief matches the tint of her lips and the scarlet of her hair net studded with pearls, except she's pulling this teeth-gritting wincing "Eeeee..." face. And there's a beat and she just says, "I'm so sorry," again.

"S'fine..." Prince Damp Kingdom manages as she fishes another kerchief from her other tie-on pocket and hands it to him because she's scared she broke his nose and doesn't want to touch it, "Sorry for... scaring you?"

He kind of hopes that he caught an elbow to the face because he scared her, because the alternative is she hates him, because they've both been in this messed-up situation since basically both of them were in diapers, and what the hell has he been doing about it? He's the older kid, so what the hell has he been doing to figure out how to get them both the hell out of there? The whole world's eyes have been on both of them, the poor poor beautiful Snow White, Princess-Messiah, Chosen One Who Will Liberate 3 Kingdoms From the Grasp of the Wicked Queen If She Doesn't Get Fucking Murdered First... and Prince Chickenshit of the Dishwater Hair from Damp Kingdom... who is just... standing there... with his stupid fucking cup or his stupid fucking harp and isn't doing anything to help her.

Which, like, is what I've been saying.

But Snow would tell me I'm not being fair. Snow would say, "But that's the point, even if he was the older kid, he was still a kid."

And then she would get on with the story. Again, she told this story better than me.

So Snow says to the Prince, "Yes--I--I know--I mean, I'm sorry," and then to stop them from basically falling into a feedback loop of 'sorry's' she adds, "I'm just... kind of on edge these days."

"Is there anything I can do?" he says automatically, his voice now muffled beneath hand and more-slowly-soaking-with-blood kerchief and she gives him a polite but crinkle-browed smile and he's kind of gutted in this moment because he becomes immediately aware that she came to the conclusion that He Cannot Help Her in Any Significant Way a long time ago. And that's kind of fucked up, because she's younger than him, but also she Knows Mysterious Things and the world reacts strangely to her, so that's doubly gutting. Snow is the main fucking character, she is terrible and glorious purpose, and he has no impact on her story.

But then he remembers that song, the song she was singing that drew him out here, that drew his own song out, how fucking lonely it was, so he's not going to give up.

"I mean," he backtracks, "Why are you on edge?"

And something flickers across her face because like, she's used to being this beautiful and distant thing to people. More of a concept than a person, a beautiful story of a sad princess, hands clasped together with fingers interlaced in a tower.

"Let's--Let's get your nose looked at first, okay?" she manages, before taking the elbow of his free arm. She glances at his harp clattered on the ground and picks that up, too. "Come on," and she tugs him forward and he stumbles along with her, trying to negotiate stemming the blood from his nose with the jostling of his own footsteps while trying not to fuck up his own cartilage further. The finches trail after them follow in their bickering, zippy, chaotic way.

Well, this is ash. Do you want to go in?

[acatnamedpusheen]

Two of Hearts (Declan x Reader)

Pairing: Declan x fem!reader

Word count: 7K (I've never written anything this long brace yourselves)

Genre: Mutual pining, enemies to lovers kinda vibes, smut in the end(that was the whole point), hella cliche

Warnings: Some bad words here and there, sexual themes obviously, fingering, handjob, unprotected sex, exhibitionism (I should be locked away), english not being my first language, me rarely using a full stop

Summary: You and Declan are sent on a trip to Como in Italy to attend an award ceremony. After a series of events you end up revealing your feelings for each other.

A/N: I totally did not get this idea as soon as I read that Aidan got secretly married to Caitlin in Italy (somebody lobotomise me). I should mention that I'm not following the timeline of the series, I mixed things up, good luck with that. Also play along with me and pretend it's normal for the british tv awards to be taking place in Italy, alright? This fic took an unnecessary long amount of time during which I was hopelessly sitting in front of a blank white screen with a blinking cursor every single day for 2 weeks. It took every bit of sanity left in me, I was contantly going between "this is so good" and "this is the crappiest shit to ever be written" . Still leaning towards that secong option but, I shall end my yapping here and let you read.

"You're going to Italy with Declan next week." Tony Baddingham casually told you after calling you to his office.

"What? Why?!" there was nothing in Tony's expression that indicated there was any space for negotiation or a way out of this, but these questions involuntarily came out your mouth with a clear protesting tone.

"British Television Awards, special edition taking place in Como this year. Declan has won an award and I can't send him alone, there needs to be some sort of representation from Corinium. And before you open that pretty little mouth of yours again, neither me nor Cameron can go because there are some issues that need to be settled, regarding the next season of Four Men Went To Mow." Tony finished that last sentence with a roll of his eyes. He obviously would have preferred a nice trip to Italy and a chance to show off his power and success infront of all the other producers and station owners that would be attending. Four Men Went To Mow was all Corinium had without Declan, so he had to make sure everything was arranged for its next season.

"I see..." you slowly nodded with a smile that wasn't really hiding your annoyance and turned around to exit Tony's office, barely catching a glimpse of him winking at you with that smug face of his before ligthing a cigar.

You've been working with Tony for a long time at Corinium, you were used to his 'manners' and how much of an authoritarian he was. That didn't mean he wasn't driving you mad, you just had found your ways of putting up with him. That had changed, however, when Declan O'Hara, the ruthless, irish journalist joined Corinum's picture. You had been assinged as his personal assistant, much to his dismay because, like he'd said: 'he does his own research'. Nevertheless, he did need someone to keep him a bit organised and Tony insisted you reported to him about any ongoing research because Declan tended to get quite uncooporative at times. So now, not only did you have to put up with a dictator of a boss, but also this arrogant, excessively proud workaholic you were supposed to be 'assisting'.

"What's wrong?" Declan asked upon seeing you storming in his office after exiting Tony's.

"Nothing." you tried to sound unbothered as you reached for some papers in hopes of distracting yourself. It wasn't really working.

"Oh I know better than to believe a woman answering this question with 'nothing' while she's looking clearly bothered by something." he replied with an amused tone while crossing his arms, accent thick and textured like crystallized honey, making you huff in annoyance.

"Did you know Tony is sending us to Italy next week?" you turned to him.

"Yes, somebody has to go and get that award. And see the look on the faces of all these idiots that never appreciated me." that smirk on Declan's lips was doing things to you. Things you were sure would send you straight to hell if one was to know of them.

"It doesn't sound like you really need me in any of this, though. Or do you think the award will be a bit too heavy for you to hold it all by yourself?" it was your turn to sound smug and the subtle laugh you earned from Declan felt like a reward.

"It's better for the station's image to not just send me there alone and I'm sure Tony explained how he can't send anyone else right now. Besides..." he paused and took a few steps until he was directly in front of you. "I want you there." he locked eyes with you causing your gaze to quickly shift to some other spot around you. "You're part of this show, you worked for this award too." your eyes met his again and you could really see sincerity in them. It felt like this was the first time he was genuinely recognising your work. Always too proud to let a single compliment about your contribution slip past his lips. Was he resorting to simple flattery for the purpose of the trip, you wondered.

"Could you at least tell me you'll be a bit less of a pain in the arse during those 3 days that we're going to be there?" it wasn't unusual for you to express how irritating Declan could get every now and then and you were sure not giving in to any potential tricks of his just yet.

"You know I can never promise such thing, sweetheart." there came that sinful smirk again as he patted the side of your arm before taking a step back and walking to exit the room.

There was no denying you had caught feelings for Declan over time, but you kept trying to find a way to persuade yourself that it was just a stupid phase. None of this was right. He was technically your boss, married even though his wife had just left him, with 3 children and quite older than you. You never had a chance with him and you never even should. You had it all under control up until then, partially hiding behind you constantly being cross with him. But only god knew how you kept longing to feel his toned back and shoulders under your touch, or taste his lips on yours. No, this was so wrong and just a phase, you constantly lied to yourself. A business trip with just the two of you alone, however, could easily reveal the truth and that was the actual reason why it was making you so nervous. As much as you'd wanted to let Declan know how you felt instead of letting it eat you away you dreaded the possibility of making things awkward between the two of you.

-

"You don't mind me sleeping through the entire ride, do you?" you were up on basically no sleep at an ungodly hour in the morning before the sun was even up, for a 2 hour drive to London to catch your flight to Milan. From there you'd be taking the train to Como for about an hour. 'Why did the British Television Awards had to take place in Italy?!' you kept thinking to yourself, your eyes barely able to stay open and then remembered Tony babbling something about it being a special anniversary edition or whatever this year.

"Of course not, but don't expect me to not do the same as soon as we're on that plane." Declan chuckled softly. He was relieved that the circumstances of your trip were such, that allowed, required even, either one or both of you to doze off during most times. He didn't want to make it awkward between the two of you now that you weren't sitting together for work. And he hated to admit it, but he was glad you'd be sleeping while he was driving, because he could easily steal glances at you without getting caught. He liked you, there was no denying that he did, but this felt so new to him and he feared it all might just be some sort of weird reaction to the fact that Maud had left him, sinking in. All these years married and he'd never even thought about looking at another woman, the way his wife did at another man. But now you had come in the picture and Maud had made her exit and it felt so different. You were different, you intrigued him, excited him. The way you carried yourself, the way you opposed him. It wasn't in the way Maud did, because she never liked him for what he truly was, she just wanted attention, whereas you understood Declan. Your 'insults' were innocent, just there to remind him when he was crossing the line and he knew that. What he didn't know was if there was any chance you saw him the way he saw you.

-

"Just a quick question, what do you find more appaling in this situation, me or Italy?" he turned to you with a playfull tone after you'd found your seats on the plane.

"You of course." you joked causing both of you to laugh. "Don't mind me, really, it was just the way Tony announced it, nothing else." you assured him before going back to whatever book you had picked to keep you distracted, surprised that for once you were thankful for Tony's actions upon realising that he'd booked business class seats, which granted space in-between you two. There was no way you could stay sane with Declan being any closer to you than he already was.

The remaining part of this long trip continued in equal silence. You'd only exchanged a few words on how magnificent the green scenery that occupied hundreds of kilometers outside the train window was, or on some new information about whatever research was currently in progress for the next show. And after what seemed like an eternity, in the late afternoon, you had finally arrived at the hotel you'd be staying for the next 2 days.

- 

"Would you like to join me for dinner later? I'm sure we can find a nice restaurant nearby." his all too familiar voice stopped you before you opened the door to your room right next to his. Oh how he wished he could openly ask you out, reveal his true feelings for you, now that you were away from all the familiar faces. Instead he had to make do with this question and hopes you'd accept. 

"I don't think Declan O'Hara, almost officially divorced, should be spotted having dinner with his assistant alone in some restaurant in Como, don't you think?" as much as you wanted this, you had to put your reputations above it. You might be away from the closed society of Rutshire, but Declan was still somewhat of a public figure and was expected to be here for the awards. You couldn't afford seeing your names on the front pages of tabloids, or be the one having to deal with Tony's rage if that were to happen. He gave you this job because he knew you were the one who could stop Declan from acting on impulse and that's what you were determined to do. Besides, it helped keep your irrational thoughts at bay too. "You can go alone on this, I'll probably just order room service, I'm quite tired anyway."

"Then, I'll order room service too and we can sit on my balcony. I've been told the view is exquisite." he saw you preparing to protest and was quick to continue "Come on, love, we can't act like total strangers until we get back. You got dragged here because of me, let me try to at least make it even a bit enjoyable." 

Hearing the nickname 'love' fall from his lips had your knees feeling weak. He called you things like 'love', 'darling' or 'sweatheart' every so often and it was the way he seemed to use these words so naturally with you that had you melting. "Only because you're asking me so nicely." your expression softened. "Anything along the lines of meat, salad or pasta would be perfect. But make sure there's wine." because not in a million years could you handle dinner with Declan sober. "And I'll be over in a minute." were your last words as you dissapeared behind your door leaving Declan in the hallway, before he had a chance to say another word. 

Alone in your room, you couldn't help the shy smile that found its way to your lips as you let out a deep breath. You had to compose yourself, it was just dinner on a business trip.  Declan seemed to mirror you with one of his signature smirks at the thought of getting to spent some private time with you outside the context of work. Last time he had gotten anything close to that was months ago at the NYE party at his house, where practically the whole of Rutshire was invited and he couldn't recall saying anything more to you than a 'hello' , 'happy new year' and 'goodbye". Did he even see you when you left? He couldn't say for sure. Of course there where times when he was tempted to invite you over to the priory. To have you finishing up work at his study and things escalating to... well, other things, but he knew how irresponsible that was, with Taggie and Maud potentially a few walls away. How it would probably make you believe he was a pervert.

- 

"So, ready for the big day tomorrow?" you asked in an attempt to keep some sort of conversation going and avoid the thick awkward silence that kept threatening to fall. Your eyes followed the red wine in the glass you were placing back down on the table, as the sun was setting behind the green mountains surrounding the lake, painting it in hues of orange. The early September breeze setting the perfect temperature for open-air dining. If anyone were to see you and Declan sitting on that balcony, they would, without a doubt, assume  you were a couple sharing a romantic dinner quite possibly on their honeymoon too. But the truth was far from anyone's assumptions.

"There isn't much to be prepared for anyway." Declan said nonchalantly before taking another bite off his plate. 

"Well, do you know what you are going to say? Won't you get nervous in front of all these people?" your eyes met with his.

"I'll tell them how pleased and thankful I am for the award, I won't forget to mention Corinium and I think I'll be just fine." seeing you nod, he proceeded to add the one thing that was actually making him nervous "And I want you up there with me." his doe eyes had yours widening in surprise. 

"What, me? Why?" as much as you were surprised there was no doubt you found this quite flattering.

"Because, like I've told you before, this award belongs to you too and you didn't come all this way just to sit there and watch me take all the credit, did you?" was he compromising his image by choosing to have you on stage with him so soon after his wife had left him? He didn't care. Besides, you were representing Corinium and your contribution to his show was undeniable.

"Who am I to say no to you, I guess?" two glasses of wine in and rather tired, you smiled in defeat. If only you could stop resisting him in other ways too. Him taking you right on that balcony for any prying eyes to see that he was yours, would have been a true delight. It was moments like this, that you realised you were capable of surprising your own self with such wild thoughts. Luckily, they where soon cut short by the one man conquering them.

"Speaking of which, I have something else I've been meaning to tell you." he was hesitant. Why? Had he spoken to Tony about firing you? That would explain why he kept mentioning how much he appreciated your work. "I want to leave Corinium and bid for the franchise with a team of my own." you didn't say anything, unsure of what that meant for you and your job. "I was hoping you'd be part of it." he chose his next words carefully.

"Y-you're asking me to go against Tony and risk losing my job and any chance of even getting another one?" your blood run cold just thinking about such thing.

"I'm asking you, to help me go against Tony and possibly make televison history. I've got Rupert Campbell-Black on this, we stand a great chance if we work smart." he kept his voice low, forearms on the table as he leaned in closer giving you a stern look. He was definitely serious about this.

"A 'possibly' and 'a great chance' are not enough for me to put my future at stake. If Tony finds out I helped you out with this and then your little venture fails, I'm done. He will make sure I never find a job again, ever." you stressed that last word. Getting fired suddenly sounded a lot less terrifying than Declan's proposal. 

"Why do you always have to bend to his will? Can't you see this is your chance to finally leave that bastard?" he raised his voice and huffed in annoyance, unable to undertsand your obsession with being so loyal to Tony.

"Because, that bastard is the one giving me this job which is mainly to deter you from making stupid decisions and keep things running smoothly." you fired back.

"Sounds more like your job is to do anything he asks you to, to keep him pleased. I wouldn't be surprised if he had you bent over his desk every other night." as soon as the words left his mouth, he regretted them. The pain in your eyes violently brought him back to his senses. He should have never said that, but the thought of that brute having his way with you just for fun was torturing his mind. He wanted to take you as far away from him as possible, he loved you too much to let you stay working for Tony. He needed you for himself.

"Do you really think so low of me?" your voice was barely above a whisper, your brows knitted together in dissapointment. The sun was now long gone behind the peaks, there was no color reflected on the water anymore and the air suddenly felt sharp and cold, perfectly matching Declan's words.

Ηe struggled to form his next sentence. The man who had each and every one of his show guests at his fingertips, who knew how to speak his way through any situation, sat defeated before his most trusted colleague.

"No, look, I'm sor-"

"You know, if this has anything to do with Maud leaving and you feeling the need to take it out on somebody else, I can try to understand but by no means accept it." with firm hands on the table, you pushed your chair back and stood up, ignoring Declan's useless efforts to apologize.

"I'll see you tomorrow for the ceremony. I'll be ready by 5. Good night." with a final glance at him you made your exit. All this time you'd been working together and it seemed like this was the very first moment he'd witnessed genuine hurt and anger taking over you. He sat there, unable to move an inch but instictively reaching for a cigarette, taking it between his lips and lighting it with slightly shaking hands. Why couldn't he separate his TV persona from his real self and refrain from dissecting people just to feel something? Why couldn't he stop hurting the people he loved and cared for?

-

Your reflection in the vanity mirror opposite the room's bed had begun turning into something unfamiliar after you'd zoned out for the umpteenth time while getting ready.

The walk you'd taken earlier by lake Como, had helped you clear your mind a great lot. You had found yourself unable to get enough of the breathtaking view that stood before you. A vast body of water so calm and still the entire sky was mirrored on it and on its edges, like antexifes, beautiful houses in vibrant colors, all engulfed by the rich green, imposing mountains in the backround. This place felt as if it didn't belong to earth, as if it was a piece of heaven that had fallen from the sky, or was magically accessed through some sort of portal that went unnoticed. 

Your mind kept travelling back to those images, your heart still a bit sore from Declan's false assumptions about you, as you fixed the final details of your hairstyle - an elegant updo containing far more bobby pins and hairspray, that you'd usually go for. You'd hoped this fairytale-like town would have been the catalyst for a much more pleasant series of events, but maybe this was all for the best. A sign that you should deny and bury your feelings for good. How naive of you to expect anything else.

A knock on the door, though gentle, startled you interrupting your train of thought. Withought questioning who it was, realising you must have lost track of time, you were quick to get up and open it. And the sight it revealed was a true eye candy. You could have sworn you were ready to forgive Declan right on that spot just because of that tuxedo he'd chosen and the way his raven black curls were so perfectly slicked back.

"You look ravishing." for a split second you thought he was reading your mind, but the compliment was for you instead. The black velvet v-neck dress that hugged your body in all the right ways certainly did not go unnoticed by the handsome irishman that stood before you. He'd never seen you all dolled up before and that certainly had him feeling something stirring up inside him. Your eyes, carefully outlined with black, looked more enticing than ever and your lips, painted scarlet red suddenly felt too inviting. Was this his punishment for acting like such a jerk the previous night?

"You don't look half bad yourself." you returned with a mischievous look and moved past him to continue down the hallway, but stopped just a few steps in after noticing Declan wasn't following you. 

"Are you coming or not?" you turned around to see him in the exact same spot you'd left him. You'd forgotten that the best part of your dress was its open back rather than the v-neck cut in the front and Declan was definitely pleased with this discovery. Your voice pushed away all the unholy thoughts running through his mind and without missing another second he was striding to your side. 

"I know you still might not want to hear it, but I have the right to apologize formally for what I said yesterday." he began once he caught up with you. "I didn't mean it and I don't see you like that." he added, looking straight ahead as you both walked to the elevator.

"The words weren't the ones doing the damage. After all, I've been working for Tony for a couple of years now, I can handle insults. It was the fact that you, of all people, said them. And I know better than to think they were chosen without thought, so what was the matter?"  stopping in front of the elevator doors, your steady gaze fell on his features that always seemed to be burdened by troubles he rarely revealed to anyone.

"It's just that I think you deserve better, so much better." he admitted with a heavy sigh. 

"Allow me to decide that myself, next time." you replied with a tight-lipped smile just as the familiar sound signaling the elevator had arrived, was heard.

"If you ever change your mind, there will always be a place for you in Venturer. I want you to know that." he let you enter first and followed close behind, taking the space right next to you.

"I appreciate that. Is that how you'll call it, Venturer?" you shot him a curious look. 

"Yes, you don't think it's suitable?" he frowned at your question.

"No, I just think it sounds...dreamy!" the doors opened once again after you last word and you both stepped out to get to the car that was waiting outside the lobby. You may not have caught a glimpse of it, but Declan did shoot you a puzzled look upon hearing your answer. It wasn't really what he was expecting to hear, a simple 'no' or a 'yes but' would have made a lot more sense, but then again he wouldn't have fallen for you if everything you said came straight out that little box in his brain containing everything that made sense to him.

-

"And the award for best TV interview show host, goes to..." this was your queue, the big moment had finally arrived and you turned to look at Declan sitting next to you, only to find him doing the same. His demeanor had changed, though. With a half smoked cigarette between his smirking lips and a glint of confidence in his eyes, there was no doubt that you were now looking at the 'vicious Irish Wolfhound of Corinium'...

"Declan O'Hara!" the room erupted in applause after the presenter's announcement and you hugged each other in the most effortless and natural way possible. A feeling so new, yet somehow neither strange nor unfamiliar.

You walked up to the podium, with Declan leading the way and found your spot just a few steps behind him. You couldn't hide your smile as you watched him recieve the award and despite the fact that you'd be standing behind him for his little speech, you could almost see that sparkle in his eyes, the pride that made his shoulders feel lighter than ever. 

"It's a true honor to be receiving this award. I'd like to thank the audience that showed their support time and time again both live at the studio, but most importantly from their homes through the TV. Of course I would also like to thank Corinium, none of this would have been possible without its hard working people. Their contribution has been invaluable." with that last sentence he briefly turned to look at you, to make sure you knew exactly who he was talking about. Like all these times during his show when he searched for your eyes. He always found you in a corner somewhere by the audience. You were his anchor during any fleeting moments of uncertainty, even if you weren't quite aware of it.

Turning back to the audience once again he raised the award with a proud smile, proceeding to leave the stage with confident strides and you following close behind.

The rest of the night went smoothly. You watched and applauded all the other winners. Declan introduced you to all sorts of old colleagues of his that came by to congradulate him and if you weren't so caught up with the idea of him seeing you as nothing but his assistant, you'd swear you'd spotted jealousy in his eyes when any of then attempted to flirt with you.

Once you were back at the hotel, stood right outside, you told him you fancied taking a quick walk around the lake.

"I won't take long, just want to get a good look at it by night. And then we can get a drink maybe?"

"Oh so now it's not controversial to be seen having a drink with my assistant?" he teased, taking a step closer.

"Her boss just got an award, I think they both deserve a celebratory drink." you replied in the same tone, motioning to the trophy he was holding.

"I will have to agree with you." he gave you a smug smile. 

-

After about 15 minutes you were back. The scenery had indeed looked serene with the light from all the houses resembling fireflies on the surface of the water, but the air had gotten a bit too chilly for the outfit you'd chosen. 

Walking through the lobby you caught a glimpse of an all too familiar figure with the corner of your eye, sitting at the bar further away to your right. You were expecting to find him in his room, but it seems like he was to impatient to wait for you.

"Celebrating without me?" you asked in a playfull teasing tone once you approached Declan, his back facing you. He was slow and reluctant to turn around and when he did your smile faded.

"What's wrong?" your worry peacked once you saw his glassy eyes "Declan, what happened?" he was still taking his time to compose himself before he decided to speak.

"Maud called. She must have found the hotel from Taggie. She's been settled in London and she's filing a divorce." his voice lacked emotion. Either he was still in denial, or had fully accepted what was happening and given that this was Declan, it all pointed to the latter. Silence fell, only the distant chatter of some group of friends further away could be heard. You were unsure of how you were supposed to reply to something like this, but Declan continued on his own after nervously running a hand through his hair. "I knew it was foolish to believe she'd come back." he scoffed bitterly, then took a large sip from the whiskey sitting on the bar counter. A sheer contrast. Just a few hours ago he was the happiest you'd ever seen him, proudly recieving the recognition he deserved for his work and now... You were witnessing his most vulnerable moment. If you were being honest, you never thought Declan was capable of letting his guard down, or even be affected so deeply by something. That didn't mean it wasn't painful to actually see it. To see how much he truly loved his family that was falling apart.

"You can go, I'll just finish this and be up too. I won't do anything stupid, this time." he couldn't bare to look at you, you weren't supposed to be the one having to deal with him while he was like this. He wasn't even expecting you to say something, but eventually you did.

"You know, I'm not the best at giving advice, but I have this one saying I keep going back to when things get a bit rough. 'It's probably for the best'. I mean, sometimes shit just happens and you don't get anything good from it, but other times..." uncertain if you were doing any good, you placed your hand on top of his on the counter. "If it's of any use, I know how much you loved Maud. I saw it all in the way you looked at her during that New Year's Eve party." you took a seat next to him, your words forcing his eyes to bore into yours. He wondered how you had noticed such detail and held on to it all these months later. 

"Love was never enough for her, or at least my kind of love. All she ever wanted was attention, money." you remained quiet, watching him as he let his gaze wander somewhere along the multicolored glass bottles on the bar shelves. "I gave her a second chance after she literally slept with another man, because I believed we could work it out and now she goes and does this just because I was trying to provide for her and the kids." he shook his head irritated. He'd never spoken to you so openly about his marriage and you were starting to feel a bit uncomfortable.

You weren't quite the fan of his wife, more like you hated every piece of her vain character. She had your blood boiling with her behaviour at that party. With how she craved and thrived from everyone's eyes being on her. With how she refused to be on the same wavelength as Declan and the way she so shamelessly cheated on him. This situation was only making you more furious, more depserate to let Declan know your deepest feelings about him. Still, you tried to refrain from using his divorce for such purpose.

"You can't really change a person, but you can change the way you react to them." he let out a heavy sigh, probably still too lost in his own thoughts to actually process what you were saying. "I can only begin to imagine how all this must feel. I'm really not the person to help with it in any way, unfortunately, because I never understood what you and Maud had. Jesus, I never understood Maud's mindset, because if I had a husband like you I'd never..." you trailed off. This was so wrong, you where taking it too far. You were inappropriately taking advantage of the situation. This was not the right moment. Hell, was there ever a right moment?!

Declan's fierce eyes were immediately back on yours. All sobered up from his aches in an instant. "You'd never what?" the words rolled off his tongue inquiringly. It reminded you of times during his interviews when he'd had his guests right where he wanted them, ready to reveal some big secret of theirs.

"I'd never even think about looking at another man." you admitted with a pounding heart. At that point there was nothing to loose and before you could register what was happening Declan's lips where crashing hard onto yours, letting you taste a dizzying mix of tobacco and alcohol as his sturdy hands cupping your face.

Placing your palms on his chest you wanted nothing but to loose yourself in the moment you'd been fantasising about for so long, but once again you had to put your morals above this and were quick to push him back. Slightly out of breath and anxiously, he waited for your explanation.

"If this is just some kind of reaction, a way for you to feel like you're getting back at her, we should stop now." you drew your hands back abrubtly, fighting the burning urge to simply kiss him as hard as he did.

"This isn't about Maud. This is about you and me. Are we on the same page?" it was your turn to choose to reply with a feverish kiss, much to Declan's relief. Just before he was ready to deepen it, however, you stopped him again, leaving him confused. "Not here. At my room in 5'." you had already risked being seen, you shouldn't push it.

"You never break character, do you darling?" he smirked to which you playfully rolled your eyes before making your way to the elevator.

No sooner had you entered your room than you heard a quiet but determined knock. You were quick to open, locking eyes with Declan and not once breaking contact as you let him walk in and pin you against the door when you closed it. The collision of your lips was harder than before, if that was even possible. Tongues already eager to explore more. Your arms flying around his neck while you felt his hands on your waist and soon one of his palms travelling south behind your thigh, urging you to lift your leg up and let him press against you. The change in position had you letting out a small whimper simultaneously with Declan's grunt. 

His mouth greedily trailed down to your neck and you pulled him closer with the leg you had around his hip. He could feel your heated pulse under his lips. Or was it just his own vibrating through his entire body? Unable to say, he let himself get drunk in the feeling of your soft skin for a little longer before he retreated, freeing your body from his touch but not his presence.

The only sound that could be heard was that of your laboured breaths as you stared into each other's eyes with a spectrum of emotions: hunger, lust, anticipation, uncertainty.

"You can't imagine how long I've wanted to have you like this." he was the first to break the silence, with a low growl.

"Is that why you basically called me a whore the other night? Was that oddly specific image part of some fantasy of yours?" you were starting to put two and two together. Your hands, still on his shoulders got to work, sliding off his black suit jacket. 

"Would it be so bad if I said yes?" his voice was just a whisper, his hand travelling up your torso to one of your mounds, while the other found purchase on your waist. The idea of you bending over for Tony did infuriate him, but partially because more often that he'd like to admit he fantasised about putting you in such position.

"Abdolutely not." you sighed feeling his palm squeeze you in such perfect way, further igniting the heat in your core. The fact that Declan actually saw you in such way was making you feel light headed.

What followed was a hot mess of kisses, touches, pulling and groping, until you'd discarded each other's clothes down to your underwear, leaving everything in a heap on the floor. Declan sat on the side of the bed and took your hand to guide you to straddle him as he settled further up. Shooting you a dirty look he decided to take control.

"The other way around, darling." a bit confused, but too hot and bothered to further question his command you did as he said and let out a chuckle once you were on his lap and caught sight of the two of you within the frame of the vanity mirror on the opposite wall.

"Hope there's no objection to me watching you come undone like this." his voice was sinfully low next to your ear as he hooked two fingers on your black lacey underwear and started pulling it off.

"Who am I to say no to you?" the use of the same phrase you'd said during dinner the other night, drove him crazy, gave him a sense of power over you that was intoxicating and you felt him harden through his boxers against your back as he growled "Good girl" with that delicious accent of his.

Once your last article of clothing had succesfully been discarded, his strong hands were on your thighs, spreading your legs further to reveal your folds. Caressing his way back up he made you lightly jolt once he found your clit, lazily circling it, watching your reaction through the mirror with lust clouded eyes.

"Dirty little thing, you've wanted this too." he murmured before leaving open mouthed kisses on your shoulder. You confirmed his statement by tilting your head to give him better access to the spot. His free hand once again found its place on one of your breasts as the one working on your clit moved south, two fingers gathering your arousal before slowly entering you. 

A moan was bound to leave your lips and Declan was instantly addicted. He continued his ministrations across your whole body, eager to hear more. His mouth on your neck and shoulder, his palm on your breast and his fingers slipping in and out of you. The sight was lewd, filthy but without a doubt far better than anything that had crossed either one's mind.

"Let me see your eyes, sweetheart." his touch not once loosing its pace as he waited for you to meet his gaze on the mirror's reflection adding a thumb back on your sensitive budle of nerves, once you did. 

"Declan..." you moaned. It was all getting too much, you felt your release approaching, eyes fluttering closed as you let one of your hands, that had been gripping the sheets, reach behind and pull Declan's hair, earning yourself a grunt.

"Let go for me, darling." his velvety voice  was all you needed to reach your climax, moaning a mix of his name and profanities, your body writhing in his steady embrace.

Once you had regained control of your body, you were quick to switch your position to face Declan and get rid of the last piece of frabric separating you, just in time to see him bring the two fingers he used on you to his mouth. 

"Delightful" sheer satisfaction was painted across his features as he moaned then let you get a taste of yourslelf with a sloppy kiss. It wasn't long before your hands were on his erection, eliciting a string of heavenly sounds from him.

"I'm starting to think you were getting pissed at me all the time on purpose." he was at your mercy the way you pumped him but still tried to get the upper hand. "Were you imagining me loosing my composure and fucking you senseless against the nearest wall?" and it was working you were getting undenianbly wet again.

"Other scenarios were further up my list if I had to be honest." you slowed down your movements but squeezed harder. Two could play this game.

"Such?" he was stifling a groan.

"Us here, in this hotel away from anyone who knows who we are." with each word you positioned him at your entrance, too impatient to finally have him fill you. You moaned in unison once you relaxed and let him get buried in your walls. Relishing the moment he kissed your lips and every part of your skin he had access to and you welcomed his insatiable hunger by finding purchase on his chest.

"Ready when you are, love." he broke character momentarily to let you adjust to the stretch, but honestly, nothing sounded sexier than checking in on each other. You started moving, lifting and circling your hips as he matched you with slow shallow thrusts, while lowering you back on the sheets.

The change in angle had you whining. Declan's movements began getting harder and deeper. Words where made redundant, both too far lost in each other's touch, in each other's bodies to make a coherent sound. 

His fingers returned to your clit causing your back to arch and allowing him to reach a new spot that had you seeing stars. He was close, desperately chasing his own release but determined to bring you to your second orgasm. 

"Give me one more, sweatheart, I know you can." he groaned once he felt your hands on his broad shoulders pulling him closer, letting his lips find that sweet spot on your neck. 

With an obscene moan of his name you were coming hard once again, your mind going blank with that euphoric feeling and Declan whispering sweet nothings in your ear that soon turned into profanities as he reached his own climax. 

Was this wrong, you couldn't tell, but you were sure that if it was you never wanted to be right.

"You do realise we have some talking to do." he pulled out and plopped down next to you trying to catch his breath.

"Can we do that when we get back? Preferably with me bent over your desk?" you replied with sass, chest heaving and mind still a mess.

"Christ, you'll be the death of me."

~

[dreamweave01]

I just found this AU for a few days and is now really really (two really's) invested??? My God this separated AU is so fresh and unique?? (no offense to other separated AU creators, i love them sm y'all have no idea how many tears were shed reading them all <3)

Anyways i love the fact that the boys were yoinked from different timelines with majorly different experiences (and baggage ofc) and would love to know how that affects their dynamic with each other and their newly (re)acquired parents. And i wonder if Drax and Big Mama were the same in their own timeline? Like were they good with them, indifferent or straight up villainous?

Thank you for your time! <333

Omg thank you so much! I'm glad you're enjoying it, this au has had a lot of trial and error XD

There's a bit that's changed with how they act around each other actually.

Mikey was obviously very excited to have his brothers back, but his biggest issue is trying to learn how to have brothers. He lost his when he was just a baby turtle tot after all, raised as an only child his entire life.

Now he has three severely traumatized siblings. It's a very new family dynamic for him, and he feels that he has to be the one to help them through their issues. He's the "okay" brother, the one that doesn't have demons inside, and his self-assigned role of family therapist is a lot more draining than he ever lets on.

Leo was very ready to jump into a family again, very eager for a second chance. To any unsuspecting persons, he's still the fun-loving face man (albeit older and with less energy than when he was younger.)

But he blames himself so much for everything that happened in his timeline, and he never lets himself lean on others when he needs it. It's his fault his family got hurt, so it's his job to make sure that never happens again. Even if it hurts him.

He was a little hesitant with Draxum and Big Mama at first (especially Big Mama) given his history with the two. He didn't know if the two had gone good in Mikey's timeline, but the second he met them, it was clear that they weren't the villains of his childhood anymore. He's quickly learned to see them as much as his parents as Splinter is.

Donnie is really really hesitant with trust. It took him months to learn to trust his new family, and even longer to learn to trust anyone else. He stays closed off, emotionally detached, because he's learned that's the best way to stay safe. If you don't care about them, then it won't hurt that much when they stab you in the back.

He's slowly learning that his family won't abandon him, but some scars are harder to heal from than others.

Now the person in Donnie's family that took him the longest to get attached to would definitely be Draxum. Donnie kind of gave the poor guy the cold shoulder for a while, would never be in a room alone with him, avoided talking to him. It was really frustrating to say the least, but eventually Draxum earned Dee's trust.

Raph for the longest time was always on edge around his brothers. Everything he did was controlled, he thought about his every move before he made it. He was so terrified to hurt them again that it took forever for him to finally relax around them, a part of him still believing he's the bloodthirsty monster the Kraang made him out to be.

When it comes to the parents, Raph's gotten very attached. He wasn't so sure about Big Mama for the first couple of weeks, but it became clear quite fast that she was a kind and caring mother who loved her sons all equally.

Baron Draxum and Big Mama started out as villains, yes. But Michelangelo was able to help them change their ways.

Now, they are two very supportive parents along with Splinter, and the three have become very important figures in the turtles lives.

Of course, this is just in Mikey's timeline.

In Donnie's timeline, Draxum was killed by the Shredder. It was the same in Raph and Leo's timeline, just with the Kraang instead.

Big Mama on the other hand became a bit of a recluse in Donnie's timeline, was taken down by the Kraang in Raph's, (no one is really sure if she survived or not) and in Leo's timeline, she was a bit of a wild card, but eventually played the hero card to help out the Resistance.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hello Miss Raven!!!

First of all, I wanna tell you I'm a great fan of your work, it helps me understand better a world that I love, so please don't stop doing it!

Secondly, I wanna know if you know of the existence of the 34 pages long essay of L*ona and your opinion on it due to the love-hate relationship you have with him.

Thank you once again for all that you do and I hope you have a really great year!!!!!

AAaaAAAAaAHHhhhHHHH, thank you for your kind words!! I've had my ups and downs with this fandom, but for the most part I've enjoyed my time here and very much intend to stick around~ Before I get to my thoughts, I'd like to give credit to @/arledrone, who I believe is the owner and author of said 34-page L*ona document! Thanks for penning this all the way back in... what, 2022?? For us to rediscover and read now in 2025 ^^

First thing's first, the document is actually quite old, so obviously there's a lot of materials missing (the Savanaclaw manga, light novel, the completed book 6, all the book 7 content, the new and relevant events/cards/voice lines/vignettes that have come out since then, etc. I'm of the belief that we don't necessarily need to look at this, as the point of the document seems to be pointing out Leona's very slow growth (and sometimes regression back to his worst traits) over the course of the content that was avaliable up until the point of the document's publication.

I won't bore you by regurgitating everything in the document; I'll just point at some things I found notable!

For the most part, I agree with the broad strokes and general interpretations of how Leona's character is presented. He's very complex and you often have to look beyond what he's initially claiming because he has ulterior motives or intentionally tries to act tough to conceal his own insecurities and vulnerabilities. (However, I did find the document a little difficult to follow in the beginning because it kind of felt like meandering with no clear topic or order of topics being established, just several paragraphs of listing Leona's traits without giving concrete examples to back them up? I guess the examples were provided eventually... still, I feel the document could have been edited and condensed a bit. The flow improved considerably when we got into summarization of the vignettes, book 2, and events.)

OP made very similar points as myself, such as saying that Leona isn't specifically after the crown, but what the crown represents (though this conclusion is common among L*ona fans). I was pleasantly surprised to even see them proposing that how others view Leona negatively may even be self-imposed--I had suggested the same thing a few years ago, but haven't seen this idea (or this particular phrasing) gain traction. I think my favorite parts of the document were comparing and contrasting Leona's reactions to criticism (in his School Uniform vignette vs in Fairy Gala). Vil appears as a major point of contention in both and serves as an excellent obstacle to challenge the arrogant and hard-headed Leona. I've compared the two before, and I think that helps to explain why Vil and Leona so often clash. Vil's the perfect person to go toe-to-toe with Leona, call him out for his BS, and push him to "be better". Fans frequently complain about how it feels like the OB boys didn't change significantly following their books--but they have, and they are, you just have to be willing to do the work to dig it up because the main story alone is not sufficient. It's a subtle thing, 'blink and you'll miss it' moments. All the main story can do is tell you "Leona is now consistently training with his team" and, "Leona is now getting off his ass to pitch in with physical labor". Book 6 certainly did a good job of showing us his development, but a lot of it I wager is personal reflection, and that's not going to always be easy to spot of manifest in a tangible, easy-to-see way, especially given how little we interact with the guy directly. We should be more cognizant that character change can happen off-screen (ie not in the main story) and outside of the presence of Yuu, and is not automatic or done in huge leaps. I think I would have liked it if Leona's minor roles were also touched on, but I understand why they were left out. It's a lot of information to look through, and there was less value in events like Beans Day, Ghost Marriage, etc. compared to instances where he was far more proactive. I'd argue that the times where he doesn't feature as a main character serve to characterize him a lot as well (and thus have their value) though; he uses his cunning to find an "easy way" to victory (even if it ended up failing in the end), he gets competitive with Vil over something he doesn't even care about due to his deeply rooted superiority complex, etc.

That about summarizes my thoughts! Apologizes if it was short, it was tough to really comment on stuff since at that point I’d only be repeating what’s written in the document.

[saiintvalentiine]

Notes: this is basically a bit of writing practice. its only dialogue, and i tried to convey as much possible within that limitation. i had fun! so here it is. unedited as usual. both dividers are from here

Summary: fickle conversations between the director and wifies, post mortem.

Word count: 645

You were always the most obnoxious person to direct.

"I'm not apologizing for that."

I do not expect you to. You are unrepentant.

"...Down there. That's the world?"

Yes.

"And I can see it?"

Obviously.

"Why?"

Would you rather not be able to see anything at all?

"No!"

Then do not question it.

"He forgave Ash."

Very interesting.

"Why would he do that?"

Shouldn't you know? Is it not your constant nagging that changed him?

"Has he really changed?"

I am not omniscient like that.

"Oh."

If I had to guess, and I will have to guess to successfully orchestrate this, I would say no. He hasn't really changed. He's shocked with his grief.

"Shocked with his grief."

Yes.

My, you even look like Ophelia.

"There's no river to lay in."

No, not the Millais. The Waterhouse.

"That's dumb. I didn't kill myself."

Didn't you?

"Am I the only one here?"

Yes. You and I alone.

"Oh. Why?"

Because you have the will to withstand it.

"Why do all this?"

It is fun.

"I guess."

You should understand the feeling of a game played well.

"I— why would I know that?"

I am not omniscient but I know many things. That is what made you so difficult. You and your game strategies.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

Oh, I suppose not.

"So... you know other things, right?"

Many other things.

"Does that mean you have a favorite book or something?"

Picking a favorite is like choosing a child to save in a fire.

"It's— there's no way it's that drastic."

I am very fond of Hamlet lately.

"The Ophelia comment should've given that away."

Yes. You are smart. You would have understood eventually.

"If this is a game, then who are you playing against?"

It's like a game, not quite a game.

"What is it then?"

Maybe a story is more apt.

"This story sucks."

You are all very bad characters. Very unruly.

"Are you defending yourself?!"

I am merely stating facts.

"Mystery god who can't even corral it's own characters. Yeah. This sucks."

Your lot call me the director. Maybe it is more like a movie, then. Characters played by actors who think they know better than the director.

"Well we do! We do know better! It's our lives!"

Bold words from a man living on borrowed time.

"..."

You are thinking of how you can communicate with them.

"How can you even tell!"

It is obvious.

"Of course that's what I'm thinking about. I— I can see everything up here. The board, it's so clear."

Listen to me close child: divinity is no easy hand to take. That is why this world has no seers, orators, hearers. It is to heavy a burden to bear.

"I could bear it."

Divinity is like marriage. Hand in unlovable hand. And you may only ever marry once. Do you understand?

"..."

You understand.

"... I'd like to go back sometime anyway."

I have no plans to allow such a thing. At least, not yet.

"Ugh."

Unless, of course, you allow me to puppeteer you.

"No."

Worth a shot.

"... Was that what you were doing with Ash?"

No. Ash wanted power. As long as he adhered to my machinations, he'd have power.

"Pretty good deal for him I guess."

You, however, cannot have what you want. So my only offer is puppeteering.

"No thanks."

Suit yourself.

You are very interesting.

"That's not comforting to hear."

You are very empty, yet difficult to control.

"Wh— huh?"

Very little soul. Space aplenty. And yet you are so resistant.

"I don't even know what to say to that."

Silence is an apt choice.

"Right."

"Do you plan for anything to ever get better down there?"

Only if the audience cheers for it. Only if it fancies my humor.

"Ah."

Losing hope?

"No. No. Never."

Hm. Yes, very interesting indeed.

[the-undeadwriter]

Hello! I've never done a req before so hopefully I do this right :)

I had an idea of an x reader fic with Dazai that was set in Dead Apple. So obviously there was the fog that caused all the people with abilities to have to fight that ability and my idea was that essentially the reader is one of the ones affected. Maybe they have a telekinesis ability or something and they have to fight that. Of course Dazai doesn't have to fight his since he was with Fyodor and Shibusawa, but he doesn't think about it affecting his partner. After everything clears up maybe he realizes what happened but it was too late since they were already hurt (or killed). If they're hurt maybe he does his best to try and patch them up and take care of them. I'm a huge sucker for hurt/comfort and angst so the sadder the better.

Thank you so much! I hope you have a great day!

I’m glad I’m your first request and you did great!! Also- this is pretty sad but it’s also pretty open ended?? Not a lot of comfort but I can do a part two if anyone is interested :)

Warnings: angst!!! Near death experiences, probably ooc, reader I gn! Pre-established relationship :)

Wordcount: 591!!

Enjoy!!

This was, perhaps, the worst day of your life.

The fog that had descended upon Yokohama was a strange, fickle thing. Many people had disappeared. Those who hadn’t…

You dodge out of the way of a large piece of debris, eyes wide.

Those who hadn’t disappeared were forced to face against their own ability. Like you were now.

This was a precarious situation, in all honesty. You were powerless, fighting against an entity with no remorse. An entity that only wishes to hurt others.

It’s like looking at a twisted version of yourself— the person you could have become if not for the Armed Detective Agency.

More debris is thrown at you, along with metal sheets and cars. You barely manage to step back in time to remain mostly unharmed. You can’t quite step away quick enough to dodge the next object, thrown at you too quickly to properly see what it was before you were struck down.

You try to stay awake, but you are just… far too tired to stay awake.

His plan had worked perfectly. Shibusawa was dead, Fyodor had been carted away… everything had worked out perfectly.

Expect for one. Small. Thing.

You.

Wonderful, kind, you.

Fragile, delicate, you.

Injured, hurting, you.

That wasn’t part of the plan— but then again, he hadn’t planned for you at all.

He stands outside the ADA’s infirmary, awaiting Dr. Yosano’s diagnosis. He felt… strangely numb, considering that you, his partner, was injured.

He doesn’t know what to do.

He had found you, when all was said and done. Half buried under rubble, blearing and battered but mercifully alive.

What happened after that was a blur— taking you to the agency and handing you over to Dr. Yosano’s care… he barely recalls what happened.

His head shoots up when the door to the infirmary opens, eyes wide and erratic as Yosano sighs heavily and tugs at her gloves. “They’re alive.” She starts, taking a breath. “But they aren’t awake- they likely won’t wake for a while.”

He nods silently, standing and stepping closer. His throat is scratchy and his voice is hoarse when he speaks, “Can I see them?”

Yosano purses her lips and hesitates before she sighs, nodding. She steps aside with a quiet warning to be quiet, and he rushes inside.

The infirmary is bright— it’s almost too bright, considering how awful this situation feels. His breath catches as he spots you, lying still in a hospital bed. The white sheets and bright lights make your skin seem pale— or maybe that’s from your near death experience.

He practically collapses into the chair situated next to the bed, carefully taking your hand in his own. Even your arms have been bandaged… he understands why you try not to focus on all of his bandages.

He can’t bring himself to speak. His words catch in his throat and burn at his mouth. He feels if he were to open his mouth smoke would expel from his lungs, it’s hard to breathe.

He sits in silence for a long time. He can’t bring himself to speak.

Eventually, he stands from the chair, letting your limp hand slip from his grasp. He leans down and presses a shaky kiss to your forehead, and he whispers an apology against your skin before he flees the infirmary.

He can’t bring himself to stay with you any longer, not when you are undeniable proof that he is a curse upon himself. That he brings misfortune to those closest to him.

He is so sorry.

[mllemaenad]

Listening to Wyll's backstory in context of all the details we're acquiring on devil's contracts and soul selling is fascinating.

See - I listened to Lann Tarv's three tales to get my soul coins. I felt bad for making Karlach listen to that, obviously, but to be honest I didn't even want the coins that much. I actually wanted the stories. I wanted a better understanding of how this works.

And what I'm learning is - for the gods (and godlike beings) of this world, cruelty seems to be the point. I mean - it's possible there's a god in this world I wouldn't want to stab to death with a rusty fork, but if so I have not met them yet.

These beings have the power to save people and places, to change lives, to do anything. And when someone asks them to - they demand a terrible price. But they don't just demand a price. They subvert the original request in such a way that they utterly fail to deliver on the original promise.

An abused woman wishes to be loved - and her true love appears, but dies instantly. A man wishes to save his children from starvation, and ends up personally growing masses of meat on his own body - not only painful for him, but forcing his children into survival cannibalism, which they were trying to avoid.

Auntie Ethel works the same way. Every one of her customers is left in a tortured state, while Ethel still takes her payment.

The idea is that the person must come to regret their wish long before the payment comes due. Every cry for help must be met with a boot to the face. Or else the mortals will get uppity? Or something.

What is interesting is how consciously Wyll defies that. And how much Mizora is dancing around, trying to force him into that state of miserable regret.

Wyll was manipulated into selling his soul. He was a kid, and he was summoned into a terrible situation - and in that moment, he could see no other way to save the city. Mizora did need to save Baldur's Gate to serve her boss's purposes, so she couldn't take that victory from him - but she did everything she could to take the joy of it.

He didn't get respect, or admiration, or his father's pride for saving the city. He lost his home and his family. He was assumed to have done something monstrous because he was denied an opportunity to defend himself.

That was supposed to fill him with bitterness and regret - but he got to work building his own life instead. By the time you run into him, the Blade of Frontiers is a hero of some renown. He's remade himself, and found a way to enjoy what his powers can do, however he came by them.

So that didn't work.

Then Mizora sent him after Karlach, and that was a mission tailored to break him. Karlach is kind and heroic herself, and that the start she has been sold into slavery, mutilated and forced to fight in a war against her will. If Wyll killed her, and then found out who she really was, then he betrayed everything the Blade of Frontiers is supposed to stand for - and he would lose the life he made for himself.

But he didn't, and that didn't work either. He's got a friend, now, who at least knows part of what he's dealing with.

So Mizora gave him demonic features. That would destroy the life he's made for himself, because no one would trust him to help them.

Except now Wyll basically goes nowhere on his own, and a small army of people can attest that he got those horns and eyes as punishment for being a good man. Mizora might be able to shut his mouth, but she can't silence his friends - and the group absolutely have shouting sessions about everything. Wyll's horns become a battle scar, like his missing eye, and nothing more.

And beyond that, if you are playing as a heroic character, a significant throughline in the game's story is the journey of the tiefling refugees. The story makes it clear that these people experience a constant barrage of racism, due to their appearance and "demonic" heritage. It also makes it abundantly clear that this prejudice is entirely undeserved - they're just people, with virtues and flaws like everyone else, and what is happening to them is terrible. So Wyll turns up to assist a bunch of people whom he now at least somewhat resembles - and with Karlach along, you have two people in the group who technically count as "infernal", but haven't got an evil bone in either of their bodies.

Mizora created solidarity. Oops.

Wyll is deeply suspicious of gods and higher powers. He doesn't want to make more deals with devils. When Elminster arrives to tell Gale what Mystra demands of him, he explicitly says he does not do religion. When you get Mizora to agree to let his contract expire in six months, he starts by casually invoking the gods - but switches to thanking the player character instead, because he knows who helped, and who did not.

But he utterly refuses to regret the pact he made. That can be a struggle. He clearly misses his dad, and would like that relationship repaired. The fact that he was transformed very much against his will is clearly a source of distress from him.

But if he regrets, then Mizora wins. That's it. Game over. She gets what she wanted all along. So he doesn't.

The main companion characters all have this kind of problem, and naturally have different ways of dealing with it. You have characters like Shadowheart and Lae'zel, who were indoctrinated as children, or Gale, who was literally seduced by one of these nightmare deities - and with them you have to start out by convincing them they they were the wronged party in the first place.

But Wyll knows exactly what game he's playing, and he's been screaming defiance the whole time. It's just that, in his case, the "defiance" is grinning and carrying on every time Mizora inflicts some more bullshit on him.

[talesofpheonixdrop]

Hey there! I really like your blog (っᵔ◡ᵔ)っ · 💐 🥞

Would it be okay if I requested the mcd boys x sick reader, please?

Also, what does your fan base call you?

Hey there bun!!!!!! Long time no see!!!!

You are so incredibly sweet!! Absolutely of course you can have those headcanons, just what I needed!

I don't think i have a fan base lmfaooo but your so sweet for saying so!!! I go by Mello here on the interwebs! You are all free to call me so ^^.

Since you didn't specify a gender reader will be G/N, and since you didn't specify anyone I'm just gonna throw whatever man strikes my fancy in the moment at this lmfao,

Warnings: Sickness of various variety hopefully... i remember to come back and edit this as I write and go-

Without further ado! Let's get into it!

Worry Wart.

Like honestly, almost immeadite panic based on how sick you are.

Like seriously has a internal crisis about whether to take care of you or do his actual JOB

After all the village can't reeeaaallly function without the lord and head guard all day out of nowhere.

Like your laying in bed, sick as a dog, head feeling like your getting squeezed in a vice.

You can see Garroth standing in the doorway, wearing his basic linens for under his armor. His eyebrows are pinched, and he's worrying his lip between his teeth. And it's just so clear he's having a violent internal conflict over abandoning all his duties to care for you.

You have to be the responsible lord and tell him to go, that you'll be fine on your own.

Otherwise your village will be in disarray and you'll have people rushing in, in a panic.

He is very hesitant to leave, asks if you're sure, and leaves all while looking at you with the most pitiful wettest blue eyes you've seen.

Hes back at your shared room within the hour.

Your immeaditly just like 'S I r. What are you doing back here???'

But is it any suprise when he sits at the side of your bed with a cold damp cloth and tenderly wipes the sweat from your feverish form before placing it across your forehead.

All while assuring you in a whisper, he could *never* have left you alone miserable and in pain, that he only left long enough to give instruction to his second in command to ensure Pheonix drop could run easily until you feel well.

.....

Andalsotogetadvicefromdonnaresidentnursecoughcough

Garroth is gentlemen through and through and takes very good care of you.

He will NOT kiss or cuddle with you tho when your sick, major red flag of him (jk)

Due to his royal upbringing he wasn't exposed to illness a ton as a kid so, his immune system?? Shit. If what you have is airborne he will be bedbound twice as long as you lol.

Please don't pout or bed though he is a WEAK man and you will see him going through all 7 stages of grief in record time every single time.

If you reach out for him in bed and your voice break a little with just a tiny 'please..' he nearly bursts into tears about it.

When you wear down his incredibly weak resolve he will start sleeping in a chair next to your bed holding your hand.

As if that's any better for his health, the loser lmfao.

Point is 9/10. Love him.

Oh Laurance, Laurance...

The moment you start coughing, he looks over with a raised eyebrow and asks if you feel alright

And obviously, you brush him off because come on, laurance, it's just a little coughing. I probably need water or something.

Yeah, the next day you're in coughing fits so bad, curled over, and you feel like your ribs may crack.

Laurance is ushering you back to bed. And albeit playfully, scolding you for even TRYING to go about your business in this state. I mean no offense obviously your the most breathtaking person he's ever seen but you look horrible.

Laurance doesn't even entertain the idea of leaving. Poor Garroth (or if this is while he's a head of Metelli his second hand) has to storm into the house demanding to know if everything's okay and why he's shirked duties.

Laurance just looks over and very casually is like ' oh yeah I'm going to be out for a while something more important has come up, you understand keep it covered only get me if it's a real emergency thanks'

And you don't have a choice here, now he's not going to straight up neglect his duties he loves you but he's also very serious about his guard work. But Metelli has a excess of guards and he's not the head at Pheonix drop, he knows Garroth can handle it without him for a while. So there's no need for you to feel guilty.

Just lay back and let him take care of you love <3 yeah?

He will cuddle and smooch you even while your sick, the cuddling is obvious but you will have to ask for a kiss anywhere more than the forehead.

He also takes your temperature by pressing his lips to your forehead every time

The tease, single handedly rasing your temperature

He's also the best cook so.... you are eating WELL fresh and from scratch.

10/10 but do we expect anything less

Oh yeah also even before he became a shadowknight and therefore couldn't get mortal sicknesses cause his body runs to hot for most viruses to survive. He just as a guy had a STUPIDLY great immune system. So he just doesn't get sick no matter how I'll you are and it's kind of infuriating.

Okay party people, this one... it depends. lmfaooo

Your request was specfically for being *sick* so I can only assume that means have a virus or infection of some kind, a bug if you will.

Which is VERY different from like.. recovering from a injury or like... morning sickness or something.

Which i will write if people want it but anyway.

Sorry Pookies he's not going to be personally there holding your hand or feeding you soup.

Germs and sickness freak him out and he wants nothing to do with it at all. He won't even sleep or hang in the same ROOM as you.

He arranges for only the best care though. And OH Irene help and preserve that entire staff team if he hears the staff are treating you in anyway he deems... unfit.

You'll have a full new staff within half an hour

All MUCH to afraid to treat you in a way that didn't reflect divine reverence.

Yeah... Zanes is rather short because he's pretty absent.

He makes sure to get reports on how you are frequently.

But once you're better, you can expect a lavish gift

Also, he's more likely to end work early and go to sleep the same time you do when your better.

He won't admit it but he missed your warmth beside him.

Oh Travis my sweet boy!! Welcome to being included in the fics mwah.

This might be controversial (I hope not, tho)

Travis would be the best in this regard.

He has a freaky 6th sense for knowing three days before you get sick, that your *gonna* get sick.

Like your feeling just fine and you look over and he's running around and already prepping for you to be sick.

Reading books on it, making medicine, meal planning etc. Etc.

Oh yeah I MEANT making medicine, mfer goes out and forager for his remedies to any and all ailments.

He takes top notch care of you. Diagnoses you easily, lays you to rest, spoon feeds you, lightly wipes your sweat away, supports you through enough exercise to keep your strength and whispers encouragement.

My advice... don't ask how he knows to do this.

Even through fever its heartbreaking to hear him explain how he had to care for not only himself but... when she was alive... his mother.

All alone on that mountain... everytime he got sick he had no one to brush his hair... clean his sick... make his meals.

In order to survive that... you have to learn to figure it out...get ahead of it prepare what you need so you don't have to scavenge through it.

He will NEVER let you go through that alone. Not while he lives.

Well hello and welcome to the club Aaron

well, my version of you anyway.

Aaron is a good man, but he's also a very focused and fleeting man.

What does that mean? Oh just that he is not sticking by your side unless you are actively journeying with him on his quest for revenge.

Even if he cares deeply for you, your already in.... well... honestly i hate to use this term for medieval fantasy but its more a situation ship then a relationship. He has.. a VERY hard time handling the idea of being with someone else after his wife.

If you fall ill at a village, perhaps your the lord.. something is tying you where you are.

Your not going to see alot of Aaron im so sorry pookie.

When you don't show up where he normally sees you he will pop up.

He went to ask what happened but... he can tell just from looking at you . If your asleep, he watches for a moment... taking in your gaunt state and letting it sink into himself that your still breathing and then he leaves.

You'll wake up to a little vial of medication on your bedside.

How often you see Aaron after that depends on what he was doing there, he's not putting his plans on hold for you.

If hes able to stay in the village and investigate he will. Checking in on you occasionally and bringing you medicine.

But...if he needs to leave to pursue Zane.... He will leave you Medicine and a note telling you to stay safe.. don't look for him... He will try to come back to you but... if its over a year don't wait for him.

Yeah Aaron totally what a sick person wants to read.

For him though....leaving a note is a big deal. Anyone else he would have just vanished.

Now! However! if you are actively travelling with him for any reason, he can NOT just stomach leaving you while your sick.

SO he does stop.. works on setting up a more long term camp. Reinforces the tent, sets up a fire pit, and makes a Cooking spit.

He takes care of you.. kind of, he thinks you should have some layer of independence even when your sick so he will still have you do some tasks on your own.

For him its very a 'just in case, you need to capable. What if next time i'm not here?'

Jeffory Golden Heart What a sweetheart.

He won't find out you're sick till about midday.

When Abby's teacher shows up to his Patrol to tell him that you never showed up to pick her up from school.

Which instantly worries Jeffory because that's very unlike you, if you weren't able to pick up Abby for some reason you would tell him even with his early hours.. A note or at dinner before.

He has to hold back at jumping to any conclusions, hoisting up Abby on to his shoulders and heading back to your shared home while chatting about her day to keep her at ease.

He has a million thoughts in his mind working with Zane...its hard not to he finds himself hoping that you had a lapse in memory, that this was going to end with him mildly annoyed over anything else.

But he arrives to your Home and when he calls out your name he hears just a pitiful little croak he S P R I N T S through the house to your bedroom where, he doesn't see some horrible crime scene but you in bed, flushed and clearly miserable and he just feels all his muscles relax.

Jeffory is so sweet, but he can't care for you as much as he wants to with Jury of nine duty and caring for Abby, but he still makes sure when he's not on duty your getting his attention, his poor sick little dove he makes soup, washes and brushes your hair, and brings in the best doctor O'khasis has and once your cleared as non contagious he pulls Abby into the tasks so you can have even more care.

Help making the soup, help braiding your hair, and reading stories at your side.

You get two caretakers for the price of one with this one.

[dykedvonte]

One of my mutuals opinions is the "bro code" thing, that Curly is one of those guys who wouldn't care about the victim because the perpetrator is his friend and I'm really banging my head on the wall like that other anon. I've only played through the game once but Curly's behaviour/reactions etc read completely different from the "bro code" thing and I have to wonder if my mutual and I even played the same game.. like the constant digs at him from Jimmy, his body language in his face reveal and so on like you mentioned in your post. While this game is a little different obviously, it kind of reminded of a point in Alice Madness Returns that makes it very clear that Alice's pain blinded her to the abuse of the other children and her failure to act earlier because of it. Curly is guilty of a similar inaction but it doesn't change the fact he was a victim of Jimmy too. I don't think I can look at it any other way because both of these games have really stuck with me.

I genuinely think it really is the idea that people want a simple easy to blame problem and the idea that the only relatable victims of abuse are those that "surpass" it or do a lot to help others. When it comes to victims, especially those that don't fit the typical demographics, who either accidently perpetuate it, enable it or aren't ideal in some way shape or form, people jump to ignore what they went through as it's easier than dealing with those conflicting sentiments.

The bro-code conversation in Mouthwashing stems from a concept I generally dislike that there had to be something about Curly that made him meet or keep being friends with someone like Jimmy. I think people genuinely underestimate how many like decent and good people just know an asshole or are friends with someone who is really bad outside of their view/established dynamics. The game makes it clear none of the inaction against Jimmy is because of a lack of care, it is a lack of understanding from the privaleged postions they have as men to not have to worry about what Anya does/went through and the type of extremes men like Jimmy will go through to cover it up. They are all too preoccupied in their own strifes.

Another thing I see being oversaturated the idea that you have to be a freak, misanthrope or have a disorder to do the thing Jimmy does. The game is an escalation, it's a spiral that I don't see people comment on that Jimmy was not likely having the mood swings and episodes of rage/frustration we were seeing in the game. This is after they all start experiencing the worst moments in their lives that he got THAT openly bad. Of course, this is just my interpretation but much like in real life, people that go to extremes like that usually live mundane lives. It's a pressure cooker affect to where the stress made them pop. It's self inflicted but still the case.

I really think people need to be more willing to acknowledge that not everything needs to be an extreme or in black and white or easy to understand. It doesn't need to be happy or have an answer or solution, especially in the cases where the abused sadly helps perpetuate what they experience. It's not he should've known better from experience or shouldn't he have known what could've happened because victims tend to not like to think in matters of the worst. Not to mention, especially in cases of abuse where it feels so personally directed that you don't expect to happen to someone else.

[utdrmv-confession-box]

Transcript: I love Underverse. It is one of my favorite UTMV medias. I cannot overstate how much I adore this series and everything it is. But I cannot ignore its continued influence on the fandom's overall perception of Ink in place of the original Ink. I'm talking about the *Ink becomes a threat to others when he runs low on paints* point that shows up in almost every fanwork since 0.4 and Underverse's reinforcement of the misconception that Ink "doesn't feel pain" in later episodes. I'm mostly talking about the XGaster vial scene and the fight with Fatal. Spoiler for later in this rant: Yes, the original Ink feels pain. I've heard all of the explanations and excuses like Jakei didn't know, it's Jakei's story, Jakei doesn't have to be accurate, it's an AU so who cares?, and so on, but allow me to be frustrated. Underverse is one of, if the the most influential UTMV media out there. If someone sees something in UTMV, it's likely going to be Underverse and only Underverse. Many go to watch Underverse without knowing about the characters original stories and form their view of characters solely on Underverse's portrayal, then go on to create in the fandom. They do not have to seek out more information at all but it is frustrating when they then try to say they are being accurate to the "original" version of the character when they are so obviously basing the character off of the Underverse versions. If I see X-event or Cross in a "canon Ink lore" discussion I'm out. Imagine this: imagine we did not know how Dream fought before Underverse season one started. If Jakei had Dream use purple magic attacks and a spear, many in the fandom would think he did that in Dreamtale and would call it canon to the original Dream. That's an exaggeration but you get my point. Many don't know the Gasters in 0.6 are Ink's dads because it's not in Underverse's episodes! This is why the fandom reactions to those Ink scenes frustrate me. The emotionless scene might have been written when less was known about Ink but the "Ink does not feel pain" moments were way too recent for that information to not be out. When Ink runs out of paints, the person that is most threatened is Ink. He is helpless to the point where he can't react even if someone hurts him. He can feel pain and has felt pain. It's not always as intensely as others do but he can still feel it. I have seen the idea that the original Ink can't feel pain at all pop up more after Underverse 0.7 came out and I don't think it's a coincidence. I am NOT blaming or upset with Jakei by the way. I want to make that clear. Jakei cannot control what ideas viewers cling to and it'd be ridiculous to expect anyone to. I wish people would stop claiming Underverse Ink is a completely accurate representation of Comyet's Ink or saying he is "canon Ink, just in a different situation". He is not. Both Comyet and Jakei have said he is not a fully accurate representation of Ink. Saying that he is does a disservice to both versions of Ink. Underverse Ink is Jakei's version of Ink, that's all. And before it's brought up again: Yes, Ink's emotions are real. That is what his vials do. He feels so much he vomits, part of his character is that he struggles to understand and cope with his own emotions, and he dies without those paints. I will not lie; I am wary of anyone who tries to claim his emotions are fake because he's soulless and or because they come from the vials. Wariness is also an exaggeration but I cannot think of a word to say my point, sorry. Let me reiterate: I adore Underverse. It is fantastic and influential. I am more frustrated with parts of its fandom than Underverse itself. I beg more to stop taking Underverse Ink's actions and lore as canon to the original. At least read Ink's FAQ on Comyet's page and look into Ink's original lore instead of looking to Underverse for "original Ink" ideas and discussions. And if you are talking about Underverse Ink, please do not try to say you're talking about the original one. The same for other characters and their lore too.

(This vent got long. Sorry, mod)

[Mod note: Holy shit, you reached the character limit.]

[lucystark12]

what are you thinking, finn wolfhard?

everything i'm about to say aligns with my finn wolfhard is a genius agenda.

it was just made apparent to me that not only did finn wolfhard film it 2017 before season two, but he filmed his scenes as boris in the goldfinch literally DAYS before filming season three. this is extremely hard for me to conceptualize. but it also makes me think about finn wolfhard himself who obviously knows the truth about mike wheeler's sexuality. if byler is as deep seeded as we want it to be, odds are that finn knew what was up from the beginning. which makes a girl think- did he know the same about richie tozier when he first played him in 2017?

lets look at richie a bit.

richie is obviously gay. i will not be taking arguments on this. i'm reading a reddit thred right now where people are debating it and i'm like- are you kidding me. but he wasn't gay in the source material. stephen king has stated as much in a vanity fair article. though he calls andy muscetti's choice "genius" (which it is, btw), he makes it clear that it wasn't his intention. it's explicitly clear in it chapter 2, and being wired like a byler shipper, i was able to suss it out in the first movie, but was that andy muscetti's intention to begin with?

there are many ways this change can be interpreted. assuming that it wasn't something that was explicitly written into the original character description for richie in the first movie, you could see this as something that was put in as a sign of the times, a statement if you will. it chapter one was written in 2015-2016 while we were still under obama's presidency, one that saw drastic improvements for the quality of life of a gay person in america. it chapter two was written during trump's presidency and could have been trying to brand itself as a statement of sorts. i only say this because as far as i can find (and PLEASE tell me if i'm wrong) there wasn't nearly as much evidence hinting at richie's sexuality in the first movie as there is for mike or will to use a relevant example.

the idea that finn wolfhard could have gone straight from it filming (summer of 2016) to stranger things filming (early november 2016) just having played a character who he knows was in the closet and in love with his best friend in the 80s could open up new interpretation to mke in season two. oddly, the reason i bring this up is because richie tozier to me is the mirror image of a kid i was friends with in middle school. they acted the same, they even weirdly looked and dressed the same. the only time i've ever made the comparison between middle school kid and mike wheeler was during season two, specifically in the scene where max leaves them the note, which leads me to believe that he could have carried other things over from other aspects of the it production.

season two isn't what really concerns me though. i'm looking more at season three. the goldfinch only moved to production in albuquerque in april of 2018, which is obviously where finn wolfhard filmed all of his scenes. however, stranger things 3 started production on april 23rd, 2018, which means there might have even been crossover between finn's shooting dates if not at least a very short gap of time between them. it chapter 2 was filmed that same summer likely with some of it's own crossover with stranger things three dates. finn wolfhard's lack of scenes in the second movie are probably what made this possible, but the scenes that he did have tackled very delicate topics that had to be handled with care. most actors get their scripts for minor roles like this a few weeks out from filming, which means that finn could have had his scripts for it chapter 2 that very explicitly make it clear that he's gay during filming for stranger things 3.

so here he is with one gay character right before season 3 and one right after. he knows how to handle these things, which means that every move he's making, especially in season three, is most likely intentional, especially if he knows this far in advance about mike's sexuality. i think it's totally feasible that he does. i'm fifteen and i understand what was happening between byler during the fight scene, finn was sixteen and, being a part of this show, probably understood what was going on too even if he wasn't outright told. doing justice to a season like this when he was also having to figure out scenes like the boreo taxi scene or the arcade scene with henry bower's cousin or r + e was probably at the forefront of his mind.

in conclusion, i just have one question:

what does this mean, finn wolfhard?

[namgyunation]

i'm rlly interested in your take on this because your nam-gyu meta posts are amazing, i find myself nodding profusely the entire time i read them lmao i was wondering if you think nam-gyu would ever let his gf or situationship see him cry? and what would make him cry?

sorry for the late response!!!

and ahhhhh thank you <3 :]]] i have soooo many thoughts about his stupid ass 🙂‍↕️ i have way too much fun looking too deeply into the small, nonexistent scraps that we were given in the show LMAO

one thing that i think is clear about nam-gyu's character as he's presented in the show is that he hatesss being seen as weak or being associated with weak people, scared that it might reflect back on him. it always seems like he's overcompensating to look stronger (joining in on the fight with thanos when they had mg coin on the floor even though... he looks like he barely knows wtf he's doing and he ??? falls??? myung-gi was already on the ground 😭), lecturing min-su and trying to reaffirm to himself and others that he was strong before the pentathlon to 'not fear death' even though he was literally just as fucking scared and shaking and had to take a pill to calm himself lmao, and then referring to the other players as "cockroaches" after the pentathlon and trying to exert himself over min-su for no reason at all (and then we even got to see that nam-gyu was the only other person besides min-su that didn't get their game done on the first try lol...)

he seems so emotionally constipated, repressed, and terribly insecure about how he's perceived by others, that i just don't see him ever wanting anyone to see him cry, especially not a situationship / girlfriend / partner.

i honestly don't even see him being the type to even let himself cry. tbh, i get some vibes of toxic masculinity in the way he acts, since he's shown to be desperate to control / exert himself over others using aggression and intimidation, as well as how often he feels the need to suppress his "bad" emotions (fear, sadness, insecurity) and come off as confident and strong. this is straying to my own headcanons here but idkkk he just seems like the type of guy to believe in some bullshit like 'crying = weak', preferring to just bottle everything up and pretend it doesn't affect him. he seems like the least vulnerable guy ever.

then, if his partner were to ever see him in a vulnerable state, i think he'd be horrified and reject any attempt at comfort / connection. he seems like the type of guy to hate the idea of someone pitying him. i think he'd just want to be alone and deny it / shut it down immediately if you tried to bring it up after the fact

bro is barely even honest with himself. i don't see him being honest with anyone else, either. no guy that acts like that has good emotional regulation or is in touch with his feelings lmfao

he seems like he'd rarely ever let himself cry in front of someone. i think he'd rather mask it with anger, if anything. and if he did let it slip and let you see him cry, he'd definitely be furious with himself

when thanos died in the show, he was very obviously upset, and idk, watching the closest thing you have to a friend—in a game where you've nearly died three times—bleed out in front of you seems like... a pretty valid reason to cry, imo! and even then he denies feeling upset, pretends he doesn't care at all, and just takes the pills in an attempt to ease his mind.

though, i think if he were without the comfort of the pills, he would've actually cried, or at the very least teared up.

i think to get him to actually cry, it'd likely have to be over something big with the right conditions, like him being alone or with little to no distractions.

death

so, death, for one. we already saw him get close with thanos's death. i could see him losing it over the death of a family member or a close friend

(headcanon here, but i don't think he had the best relationship with his family when growing up. like, look at how he behaves. hence why he's so insecure and desperate for attention / someone to latch onto in the events of s2. despite this, i think he'd still yearn for their attention / approval, and the death of a family member would kind of cement the fact that he no longer has the chance to impress them / prove to them that he's special or worthwhile. he seems very hung up on gaining the respect of those that look down on him, eg. thanos)

though, i could see him still trying to pretend he's above crying and play it up in front of other people, acting as if he just grieves differently. though when he's alone with no one to perform for, that's when he'd really cry. i could see him being mad about it the whole time, though, laughing / yelling at himself and trying to pretend that there's not tears coming out of his eyes. i don't think he'd want to admit to even himself how much he's affected by it. he'd put off the grief and try to keep going about his life until it caught up to him one day and hit him full force

abandonment

bro seems starved of any and all forms of love and attention. i could see him having a pretty deep fear of abandonment. in the show, he seems very hesitant, timid, and unsure when he's on his own, always following someone and waiting for them to take the lead on things / be there to back him up before he does anything. he does nottt strike me as someone who's independent, capable of making his own decisions confidently, or operating without the validation of others.

if he were to be abandoned / given up on by someone he cares about (whether they respect him or are genuinely good to him or not), i could see this being another thing that pushes him to the edge and makes him cry. he seems like the type to desperately try to avoid / deny his need for affection, but if he's truly abandoned (especially after swallowing his pride and trying to keep someone in his life), it'd act as a constant reminder of his overwhelming desire to be loved to the point where he can't keep avoiding it, though he'd once again try to mask his tears with anger and try to convince himself that he didn't gaf about said person to begin with

from a romantic standpoint, i could definitely see him going especially apeshit over a romantic partner that decides to leave him, especially since said romantic partner is likely one of the few people in his life he's allowed himself to depend on and display some level of vulnerability with. based on how he acts in the events of s2, he doesn't seem like he'd be the sweetest or most emotionally mature boyfriend in the world, so it'd probably cause him to spiral, knowing that it was his own issues that led to his relationship ending.

bad trip

considering his substance abuse and the way he acted after thanos died, he most definitely uses drugs as a means of coping and avoiding his emotions so he doesn't have to deal with or acknowledge them. i could see him doing this, having a bad trip, and then coming out the other side feeling like shit and having to grapple with the fact that he's still alone, still bruised from whatever negative experience happened to him, and still right back to where he started emotionally. i don't see him knowing how to deal with his own feelings in a healthier way, so if that coping mechanism fails to make him feel better and forget about things, i could see him crying over that and just feeling worse about himself and the situation once he comes down from it.

insecurity

clearly, nam-gyu has a lot of insecurities and is unsure of himself. he has a specific image that he wants to uphold, and doesn't like when he's called out. if someone were to directly harp on these insecurities, it would definitely set him off. however, he's clearly used to this behavior, as rjw said nam-gyu's been disrespected for basically his whole life, so i think for him to actually cry over it, it'd have to be something that cuts particularly deep and/or is said by someone he perceives to have some sort of importance or agency in his life and how he views himself. for example, a family member or partner expressing their disappointment in him or being embarrassed by him.

ok now to narrow it down to just specifically what would make him cry within the context of a romantic relationship bc i think that's more what you were asking:

being abandoned for real; knowing that it's his fault and that he pushed you past a breaking point and it's completely out of his hands whether you come back or not

jealousy; feeling like you genuinely like someone better than him or would actually leave him for them, especially if it's someone more 'successful', 'normal', and well-adjusted, with a better relationship with their family. things that he's not and doesn't have. i could see him imagining what it'd be like if you were to be with them instead, and how much easier and more 'acceptable' your life would be without him. he seems like he would never admit this while sober but would become more open about it when he's on drugs and being unable to stop himself from crying / showing you how much it affects him

after a particularly bad / intense fight, especially if either you or him threw some harsh words at each other. though, he'd wait til he was alone to cry

feeling like he's disappointed you or has done something that has altered your relationship forever, something that he can't come back from or fully fix / gain your trust back no matter how hard he tries or what he does (eg. maybe if he stole your money for drugs, lost your money by investing it into crypto lol, made a bad impression on your parents / family because he couldn't control himself)

anywayssss YEAH. thank u so much for enjoying my nam-gyu meta posts... i'm crazy but i am free.

[cyren-myadd]

Avatar official account posted their screenplay of the Sullys arrived at the Metkayina clan on their TikTok. This part here caught my eye. Neytiri has a secret shame that her kids are half half-human.

What's your thoughts?

oh man, I have some really mixed feelings about this ngl...

First thing I want to say before I get into my rant is remember that not everything in the old script is canon, so Neytiri feeling ashamed of her children isn't canon as of right now, but there's a possibility this will be confirmed in a later movie.

A little self-disclosure, I'm engaged to a guy who is from a different race and culture than me, and I'd like to have a kid with him at some point. My partner and I have discussed the fact that our kids would be mixed, and we've already made plans to teach them both of our native languages and make sure they're exposed to both of our cultures. Even though my kids will be different from me in some ways, I don't care, I'll still love them no matter what and I can't imagine ever being ashamed of their differences-- especially since I was the one who chose to have children with a man who was a different race/culture.

While Avatar is completely fictional, the romance between Jake and Neytiri is a clear allegory for a real-life mixed-race couple, with their children's "hybrid" traits being an allegory for real-life mixed-race children feeling insecure about their features. Obviously, not everything is a one-to-one allegory, since Neytiri has been directly and violently victimized by Jake's people and most modern mixed-race couples in my country deal with more systemic forms of oppression instead, but the allegory is still there.

To be completely honest, if the writers actually follow through with this line from the script and show Neytiri being ashamed of her children on-screen, I might actually start to hate Neytiri. Her other character flaws, like her chauvinism, her resistance to change, and her hypocrisy about Jake vs Spider, are completely understandable, especially since she's been through unbelievable amounts of trauma because of humans. I still like Neytiri a lot even with her flaws. But being ashamed her own kids? The kids she chose to birth/adopt, knowing they were hybrids? These two babies right here?

I am really, really trying to be understanding here, 'cause Neytiri's been through trauma that I could never imagine, but still... ma'am those are YOUR babies. I don't think any kind of trauma justifies being ashamed of your children for something they have no control over.

Whenever I see that screenshot, all I can imagine is Kiri or Lo'ak finding out their mom feels ashamed of them. Could you imagine? They would be absolutely crushed. I think Lo'ak especially would have some kind of a crisis over it, since he's already so insecure about being a hybrid. Even Miles freaking Quaritch, the vengeful colonizing monster, isn't ashamed of his son being so different from him.

For the record, I know the only reason I feel so strongly about this is because I'm projecting my own feelings about being in a mixed-race relationship and planning to have mixed-race kids onto Neytiri. But I feel the way I feel, and if this ever becomes canon I would never be able to look at her the same way, so I'm hoping this idea stays in the old script and never sees the light of day again.

No matter what happens, this is James Cameron's story, and I trust him to deliver a fantastic movie even if I don't like everything about it. Besides, this is only one line. It doesn't go in-depth into the nuances of Neytiri's feelings. Maybe if they choose to go with this concept and flesh it out better, I'll change my mind about it, who knows.

I'm also gonna add this here, cause I know how tumblr is: these are just my personal feelings on the topic-- my personal feelings that are completely subjective and are greatly effected by my own life experiences. I know some people like this idea and think it would be a great thing to explore for Neytiri's character, and if you think that, then great, good for you, no hate to anyone with a different opinion.

[valyrfia]

I'm sorry but your words about Hamilton and immigration come across as nothing but hollow, same for your other posts propping up progressiveness.

You didn't even block the one friend who openly uttered out vile sexist shit to defend a billion dollar company and its white men, the friend who didn't even bother to apologise to the victims of having suffered through that in their workplace. Instead they got told to just suck it up.

Practice what you preach too! You don't even have the guts to block an asshole with no remorse. We minorities speak out and your friend instead of empathizing with the racial aspect jumps to bullying the minorities instead.

You are part of the problem of the privileged white people who are very good at writing words but can't even cut out the real prejudiced people in your actual life. One of your friends favourite mutual told one of my mutuals to go back to Africa from where they came from. That's what Hamilton stands for I guess.

Next time you write another of these walls of texts, reflect on how you have done nothing to help us minorities and women at all if the company you keep is this.

Jesus Christ. Okay since you keep sending me increasingly frenzied asks I will address it ONCE publicly. I want to add quickly I don’t owe you facts about my real life to prove anything, but my blood BOILS for you to try and make moral judgements on me without knowing anything about me. It’s easy online, behind a screen. I’ll put a full reply below the cut since you don’t want to engage with me via DMs.

I want to make the point especially though that want to know the identity of the mutual that made that absolutely abhorrent comment. I obviously don’t want those people anywhere near my circle. Please just send an ask with the username if you don’t want to message me. I had no idea about any of this and I want that person blocked and gone from my sphere.

In terms of my friend, I’ve told her all this so I’ll air it, I never agreed with her gossip blog since my defence of the WAGs is well-documented, I hoped that was clear. I don’t agree EITHER with the Max fans interpretation of the Lewis comment and I blocked some mutuals who I don’t know the real names of who were being overly nasty about it. In terms of the person whose real name I know and vice versa, we have had full discussions about this and accountability and remorse was expressed to me privately, I have no clue or no time to keep up with the ins and outs of other blogs and again I hope I get a little bit of grace that it is lot harder than just a block button for me.

In terms of the Hamilton comment, this blog is my blog and my journal as much as everything, I post every damn thing that comes into my head sometimes. My expression was one of grief for the attitudes of my own country, in which I am an immigrant. A privileged immigrant but an “other” nonetheless. I’m not American and it was never supposed to be a point about any American politics.

I hate me having to prove any sort of point but I have a. suffered sexual assault and b. endured harassment in the workplace based on my gender and sexual identity. I don’t talk about it because it’s painful and vulnerable but do you really think my words were hollow about those subjects? If I seemed distant it’s because I make an effort to put distance because yes, my own experiences cut deep and I really don’t talk about them to even my closest friends. Sorry that rang hollow to you, internet stranger who doesn’t know my life.

Again, I don’t like having to prove my activism nor my politics but I do loads of stuff I don’t talk about on here. Protests, petitions, canvassing, mediation, speeches. I don’t talk about any of these things on here because this is my F1 blog where I come to have fun. Also, F1 itself does NOT align with my politics, the horrible classist racist patriarchal stench of it all polluting the Earth is TOUGH to swallow.

I think the summary is I’m not sure what strange conclusions you have drawn about my goodness or morality based on a blog that is a tiny part of my much fuller life, but I hope you’ll appreciate we’re much closer aligned than you previously thought and I’m very much not your enemy. If you think I’m a performative horrible hollow person then I don’t think there’s anything I can do to sway you on that one. Just feel free to block me.