#and you know the Arrow fam is gonna take this as a win

[g1rlr0b1n]

Congrats to Black Canary, the Taylor Swift of the DC universe, for helping Damian along with his sexual awakening. Her gaydar is impeccable.

I know DC probably wanted him to have a crush on her but...really DC? Damian becoming a Swiftie...doesn't exactly scream “straight man” (this is a joke please don't hurt me 😅)

[trensu]

Episode 25: The One where They Frolic in the Forest but like, Sad This Time

Okay folks, buckle up bc this one has a lot of Hetero Drama and Stupid Plot Things

But look!! I’ve made it to the halfway point of the show!! I’m so proud of myself

We’re gonna skip as much of that as possible

BUT this one has some EPIC moments to make up for it

We start at Lotus Pier

Stuff’s happening that we’re not interested in 

except for how our resident Disaster Het jzx comes by to invite the jiang clan to the jin clan’s awesome sleepover with sweet sweet party games

Plot plot plot

WE’RE AT AN ARCHERY COMPETITION!!

I guess that’s how they open sleepovers in Ancient Fantasy China?

LWJ AND WWX ARE STANDING NEXT TO EACH OTHER

OUR BOYS ARE SHARING SCREEN TIME!! WITHOUT HURTING US!!!

Blegh, jgy is talking

And here the jin clan bring out their wen prisoners bc they think it’s fun to place them in front of the targets??? anD THEY GET AWAY WITH IT??

THEY DID THIS IN FRONT OF BASICALLY THE ENTIRE CULTIVATION WORLD AND NOBODY SAID ANYTHING!!

I WILL NEVER BE OVER THIS

WTF IS WRONG WITH THEM

Wwx at least tried to protest but jc shut him down, bc their clan really isn’t strong enough to stir up trouble rn 

BUT THERE WERE PLENTY OF PEOPLE IN MORE SECURE, POWERFUL POSITIONS THAT COULD HAVE SAID SOMETHING

I’M LOOKING AT YOU, LXC. WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE LAN CLAN MOTTO, HUH?? WHAT HAPPENED TO RIGHTEOUSNESS???

*takes a deep breath*

Okay, okay

I’m calm, i’m cool

So that happened

Jzx tries to show off by shooting an arrow and getting a bullseye without hitting any of the prisoners

And wwx sees this and is like, hmmmm, i can humiliate jzx AND discreetly protect the wen prisoners!!! (and give the audience a bite of wangxiantics)

Wwx: lan zhan, do me a favor

Lwj: what’s the matter?

Wwx: can i borrow your forehead ribbon?

CAN I BORROW YOUR FOREHEAD RIBBON

THE SPECIAL ONE THAT NO ONE BUT FAMILY AND SPOUSES CAN TOUCH

I JUST WANT TO BORROW IT IN PUBLIC WHERE EVERYONE CAN SEE. NBD

Lwj just stares at him in response and wwx sulks but doesn’t push it

(lol, jc sees that go down and is just completely exasperated, like, one day, can we get one day when you don’t OVERTLY FLIRT WITH LWJ in front of EVERYONE??)

(the answer is no. no, he cannot do that, jc)

(he’s not allowed to not flirt with lwj)

Since he couldn’t get the super special forehead ribbon, he uses one of his own wrist ribbon things to blindfold himself

Please take a moment to appreciate the fact thAT HE WAS GONNA USE THE SACRED FOREHEAD RIBBON TO BLINDFOLD HIMSELF, THE KINKY BASTARD

Wwx: nbd nbd, imma just shoot 5 arrows whilst blindfolded and hit every bullseye there is WITHOUT harming any of these innocent war victims.

It’s all in the twirl, baby

He does a Dramatic Twirl, Smirks™ and then releases those arrows like nothing

And afterwards he has this proud little grin on his face bc hell yeah, he just owned jzx’s smug ass AND prevented any harm from falling on innocent people

Also, LOL, NMJ’S REACTION TO THIS WAS GREAT

He sees wwx be a badass with a bow and arrow and immediately turns to lxc next to him with an expression like HOLY FUCKING SHIT, DID YOU SEE THAT, THAT WAS AWESOME and starts clapping like a madman

For future reference, this is the correct response to wwx all the time, I’M SO PROUD OF YOU BB

After all that, wwx struts back to stand next to lwj and gives him a proud little smile. It’s so cute, so cute.

Jgy is talking again BLEGH

Now we’re in the forest!! For hunting reasons!!

Wwx makes himself comfy by a tree and plays Magic Music on his demon flute and is all pretty while doing it and supposedly gets all this prey to jump into Jiang nets

we never actually see this happen but everyone says it happened and who am i to argue?

(actually i like to argue one-sidedly at the screen a lot but this was not important enough so whatever)

Also, side note, jc is KILLIN IT with his fashion choices in this ep. LOOKIN GOOD BRO

But we don’t care about any of this 

We care that WWX SUDDENLY SPOTS LWJ WALKING ALL ALONE IN THE FOREST AND HIS WHOLE ENTIRE FACE LIGHTS UP LIKE THE FREAKING SUN BC HE’S SO HAPPY TO SEE HIS SOULMATE

IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL

And then it gets sad. Sad times in the forest :(

Wwx was totally making a move to get lwj’s attention but he stops himself

Bc he remembers the conversation he had with lxc about how the ones he cares about can be hurt by his decisions

Thank goodness lwj notices him back

Wwx looks so surprised but also pleased the lwj sees him

And ofc lwj does not hesitate to go to wwx

BC THEY LOVE EACH OTHER AND ARE SOULMATES

Wwx: hey lan zhan, i heard you got tired of writing out the Lan Fam Rules~!

He’s happily engaging him in conversation!! He’s trying to tease him again!

Too bad lwj does not go along with it

This whole “let’s ruin wwx’s attempts for pleasant conversation by bringing up sad things” is getting really old lwj, stop that

Lwj: i made some progress in composing the music score and i���d like to share it with you to see if it works

eXCuSe mE??

HE’S BEEN WRITING MAGIC MUSIC FOR WWX??

HOW THE HELL DID I MISS THIS BEFORE??

I THOUGHT HE WAS JUST LEARNING FORBIDDEN MAGIC MUSIC, NOT CREATING MAGIC MUSIC FROM SCRATCH SPECIFICALLY FOR WWX

HE LOVES HIM SO MUCHHHH

Wwx: lan wangji, lan wangji

Noooo he’s reverted to calling him formally!!

And his tone went all flat!!

DON’T DO THAT

Wwx: who do you take me for? Why can’t you leave me alone?

DON’T SAY THAT

WHY ARE YOU SAYING THAT

YOU DON’T WANT HIM TO LEAVE YOU ALONE

STOP HURTING ME LWJ LIKE THIS

The minute wwx asks him that, lwj lowers his gaze when previously he had his eyes glued to wwx’s face the whole time

Bc WWX JUST STABBED HIM IN THE HEART WITH HIS WORDS

Lwj: who do you take me for?

He says all somberly, STILL NOT LOOKING AT WWX

Oh god, their faces are breaking my heart

After lwj says that, wwx stares at him for a long moment before canting his eyes to the side AND THEY LOOK KIND OF TEARY??

I THINK??

THAT MAY JUST BE MY TEARS

SOMEWHERE, TEARS ARE INVOLVED

Wwx: i once treated you as my lifelong confidant (AKA SOULMATE)

Lwj: i still am

*SOBBING*

~THEIR SONG~ IS PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND

THEY’RE STARING AT EACH OTHER WITH SO MUCH FEELING

I WANT TO TEAR MY FACE OFF

Aaaaand the moment’s interrupted bc of stupid jzx and his Hetero Drama

Wwx hears someone approaching and he grabs lwj by the arm and drags him to a hiding spot where they can spy on jzx who just appeared with jyl

You know, i love how whenever wwx grabs lwj to drag him somewhere we get a bit of slo-mo stuff to, i guess, emphasize wwx is touching lwj or something

Not that we need the emphasis

It’s not like we’re not already hyper-aware of their EVERY INTERACTION

So now we get to watch wwx and lwj spy jzx and jyl

Lol, i wonder what lwj is thinking

Does he watch this and sympathize? Does he get secondhand embarrassment bc he knows he doesn’t do any better expressing his feelings to his soulmate??

I can’t imagine he has any actual interest in spying on Disaster Het jzx

Lwj is a Disaster Gay 

There can only be so much Disaster at a time, y’know?

or maybe he’s just thinking OMG WWX TOUCHED ME OMG WWX IS SO CLOSE

yeah, that’s probably it

Okay, there’s Hetero Drama going down 

Blah blah blah

BUT WAIT, jzx just made jyl tear up AGAIN

Wwx is all ready to tear jzx a new one but lwj holds him back before he could give away their location

Like, if asked, i’m sure lwj would say “oh, i stopped him to avoid an inter-clan incident” or whatever

But his REAL reason for holding him back was bc he was enjoying have wwx so physically close to him again

While secluded in a hidden spot

I mean, there’s less than a foot of space between them

I wouldn’t be so eager to give that up if i had wwx that close to me either

But lwj can’t hold him back for long bc jzx does another douchebaggy thing and wwx has had Enough

Wwx goes to defend his sister BC NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO MAKE JYL SAD, OKAY?

Wwx and jzx argue and then jzx draws his sword and takes a swing at wwx!!

SO OFC LWJ SWOOPS IN AND PARRIES THE BLOW

Lol jzx is so confused as to why lwj is there suddenly

You just tried attacking his soulmate, bro

what did you think was gonna happen

Ugh more Hetero Drama

Gotta say, i do enjoy watching jzx get scolded by his mother

Asshole cousin starts stirring up trouble and throwing a hissy fit about how wwx used his demon flute to catch 30% of the prey and how it’s Dishonorable and Cheating behavior

Lwj turns to wwx for a moment here and is like “30%??” idk if he’s impressed or concerned here.

Maybe both

Lwj gets a lot of Feelings around wwx, okay?

Lol, while asshole cousin is ranting, wwx turns his back on him to look at lwj

Wwx: oh, lan zhan, i didn’t thank you earlier for blocking that attack for me! Thank you~!

WHAT A POWER MOVE

HE GETS TO INSULT ASSHOLE COUSIN AND STARE AT HIS SOULMATE’S BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL FACE

WIN-WIN

Wwx is holding it together until asshole cousin accuses the jiang clan of having a corrupt or weak family or smth?

Then he starts getting all twitchy the way he does when Resentment kicks in

Asshole cousin continues to goad him and wwx starts to reach for his demon flute

Lwj flies to his side and grabs his arm!

Lwj: wei ying, concentrate. Wei ying, concentrate.

(wwx has a knack for making lwj repeat himself)

Jyl joins him to help wwx calm down

And now we take a break from wangxiantics for BADASS JYL TIME

Jyl goes and apologizes all sweetly to everyone for wwx’s supposedly rude behavior or whatever

And then turns to asshole cousin

Jyl: i might not know much about hunts, but i know there’s never been a rule about catching too much prey

DAAAAMN, GIRL

Jyl: it’s not his fault you can’t hunt prey. He used a different method that he worked hard to learn

Jyl: FURTHERMORE, you called him the son of a servant when he is my dear little brother

Jyl: so i would like for you to apologize to wwx

JYL IS THE GREATEST SISTER IN THE WORLD

Madam jin is like, ah, it’s not that big of a deal, let the boys squabble 

And jyl shuts that down by telling her that wwx is family, an insult to him is not a trivial matter for her

GOD I LOVE HER SO MUCH

Blah blah plot blah blah jzx is a Disaster Het in front of Witnesses blah blah 

Gross, sect leader yao goes off on a rant

We’re gonna ignore him

We cut to wwx downing a jar of wine in the middle of town 

*sigh* i don’t even know why i bother telling him off at this point, he’s obviously not worried at all about alcoholism

Ooooh, and now we’re getting Lan Bro time. Very wangxiantic lan bro time

Lxc: lwj, i can tell you’re worried about something. What is it?

Lwj: …

Lwj: lxc, i..i want to bring a man to Cloud Recesses

(guys, the ellipses here actually happened. We actually hear lwj do a start-stop on his sentence)

(THIS FROM A GUY WHO DOESN’T SPEAK MUCH BUT WHEN HE DOES SPEAK, SOUNDS LIKE A PRINCE)

(Our boy is Overcome with Feeling rn)

Lxc: bring a man back to Cloud Recesses?

Lwj: bring him back…and hide him there.

Lxc: hide him?

Lwj: …

Lxc: he may be unwilling to go, right?

LXC KNOWS WHATS UP BC THERE’S ONLY ONE MAN WHO HAS EVER AFFECTED HIS LITTLE BROTHER THIS WAY

Lwj stays silent here, and the lan bros manfully stare off to the distance

(I like to pretend that here lxc starts coming up with elaborate kidnapping plots bc he wants his lil bro to be happy and that’s only happening if he drags wwx back to their home)

(i mean, locking up your soulmate against their will is a Lan family tradition, isn’t it??)

AND THAT’S WHERE IT ENDS

THIS SHOW DOESN’T PULL ITS PUNCHES, DOES IT?

This forest frolic was not nearly as fun as the last one :(

Return to Masterpost

[takottais-oc-askblog]

Oc bullshittery pt.7

--------------------------------------------

Bei: I trust flesh!

T.y: You think he knows what he's doing?

Bei: I'm not sure I'd go THAT far.

--------------------------------------------

Rico: [Finds a crumpled up piece of paper] Hey, what’s this?

Quinncie: Oh, that’s my to-do list!

Rico: Wow, you’re being so productive, good for you, I never thought that–

Rico: [reads what on the list]

Rico: This only has my name on it...

--------------------------------------------

T.y: What do you normally do when I’m gone?

Flesh: wait for you to come back...

--------------------------------------------

Peach: why is Quinncie crying?

Elliott: He's drunk and saw a picture of Rico's boyfriend

T.y: But he is Rico's boyfriend

Elliott: Like I said, he's drunk

Quinncie: [crying on the floor in the fetal position]

--------------------------------------------

Eva: [on day three of no sleep and forgetting to eat, looking completely dead inside] Self-care is for the WEAK!

Cake: [coughs]

Eva: [frantically swaddling her in blankets] We need an ambulance!!!

--------------------------------------------

Flesh: [Talking about Eva] Don’t worry! She likes your butt and your fancy hair.

Cake: [As she runs her hand through her hair] She thinks it’s fancy?

--------------------------------------------

Camie brown: Wait, you're gay? As in, gay...gay? As in, you like women?

Peak Lilly: I thought I was being...

Peak Lilly: Crystal queer

--------------------------------------------

Bei: alright boys ready to g– Thomas where’s your vest?

Elliott: [smiling mischievously] yeah Thomas where’s your vest?

Diel: ...

Diel: about that..

--------------------------------------------

Pimp: Quinncie, baby. How can I get back on your good side?

Quinncie: It’s gonna take about three weeks of not talking to me.

--------------------------------------------

Peak Lilly: Why aren't the dishes in alphabetical order!?

Camie brown: WhAt thE FuCK dOeS thAT eVEn MEAn!?

--------------------------------------------

Flesh: [being kidnapped] Will I need my toothbrush?

Kidnapper: Shut up!

Flesh: I'm assuming that means you'll be providing the toothbrush.

--------------------------------------------

Bei: [on the TV] Boss won't get off your back? Girlfriend won't stop nagging you?

Bei: Did that fuckstick Eva sell you a bullshit dagger that broke almost immediately despite the fact that you spent half your goddamn savings on it?

Bei: Have you considered... murder?

--------------------------------------------

My oc's as popular vines:

Quinncie: so no head?

T.y: what the Fuck is up Kyle?!

Peak Lilly: Look at all those chickens!

Flesh: Hi welcome to chilis

Chii: Fuck ya chicken strips!

Poppet: ThAtS My OpInIoN!!

Charlie: Chris is that a weed?!

Diel: what up I’m Jared, I’m 19, and I never fuckin learned how to read

Peach: Wooow

Bei: Ms Keisha? Ms Keishaaaa!? oh my fuckin god she fuckin dead!

Paston: Hi my name is Trey I have a basketball game tomorrow.

Camie brown: I wanna be a cowboy baby!

Elliott: Im a bad bitch you can’t kill me!!!

--------------------------------------------

Flesh: [on the phone] dad? i need your help! Th–

Chii: is the apartment complex on fire?

Flesh: ...no?

Chii: then it’s not an emergency. [hangs up]

Dax: well?! what did he say? what do we do about the portal to hell in the living room?!

Flesh: [shrugs] apparently it’s not an emergency.

T.y: [being strangled by a demon] HOW THE FUCK IS THIS NOT AN EMERGENCY??

--------------------------------------------

Diel: [muttering]

Bei: Diel what are you doing?

Diel: I’m having an argument with myself so I can finally win something for once.

Bei: would you mind not doing that right now? We need to be quite-

Diel: Well I actually would mind, because I’m losing right now.

Bei: How can you lose an argument to yourself?

Diel: the voices in my head decided to join in, and they’re making some pretty solid points on why I should just kill the bad guys and take their money.

Bei: well that’s........ mildly concerning...

Elliott: MILDLY????!?!!

--------------------------------------------

Chii: In terms of instant relief canceling plans is like heroin.

--------------------------------------------

Chii: I hope flesh liked the shirt I got him yesterday. Oh, he called.

Voice mail: You have 17 new messages.

Chii: What?!

Flesh: Hey dad, thanks for the Bazinga t-shirt it's… great. I was just calling because I might need a ride later tonight. T.y can’t drive and I ran iris's car into a ditch after we watched Fast Five on Netflix together.

Iris: You still owe me for that.

Flesh: Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. Cars are really flammable, did you know that? I didn’t know that. Well, I do now.. but anyway I’ll call you later if we need a pick up from the show, alright?

T.y: [groans]

Flesh: t.y, you’re up! Talk to you later, dad!

Voice mail: End of Message.

Chii: I’m not listening to all of these.[skips to the last message]

Voice mail: Message 17.

[loud screaming of pure terror as a booming demonic roar pierces the air]

--------------------------------------------

Rico: hey i used to b uglier believe it or not.

--------------------------------------------

Camie brown: What is the worst thing you've done sexually?

Charlie: .... I'm not sure what I'd want to call a worst..

Peak Lilly: A man..

Coccoh: pppfffttttt!

--------------------------------------------

Eva: Stay the fuck away from my man, I won’t tell you again!

T.y: BITCH! I don’t wan yo man. Nobody wants yo man. That’s why he’s wit you!

--------------------------------------------

Peak Lilly: It was the 80s, we did a lot of drugs back in those days.

Bren: How could she even do drugs?! She's a fucking alien!

Camie brown: Your mother found a way.

--------------------------------------------

Random cop: STOP RIGHT THERE! YOU ARE ALL MENACES TO SOCIETY!

T.y: [decks said cop]

Bei: why did you do that??????????

T.y: I am not emotionally involved in this situation!

--------------------------------------------

Eva: i sleep with a bow and arrow under my bed.

Bei: oh yeah? i sleep with a gun under my pillow!

Ashton: weak! i sleep with a nanobotic suit ready to be equipped!

T.y: damn, you's all are paranoid as hell!

Eva: yeah? what do you sleep with?

T.y: Elliott.

--------------------------------------------

Flesh: So how about a change of name?

Diel: You know, one that sounds marginally less like a porno than your current one!

Bei: [unsheathes sword]

Diel: [running away] You just had to open your mouth!

Flesh: [ducking under a blade swing] My mouth? My mouth?!! This is your fault!!!

--------------------------------------------

Eva: [slides flip phone across floor] Fuck this and fuck you! You little spawn of Nokia!

--------------------------------------------

Peach: I wonder why I don't like anything around my neck.

Poppet: maybe you were hung in a past life?

[heavy pause]

Peach: I THINK IT MIGHT JUST BE BECAUSE I'M AUTISTIC, POPPET!

--------------------------------------------

Eva: -and that's why I think God doesn't exist!

Cake: sorry sugar, I wasn't listenin'.

Eva: what, why?

Cake: look hun, I just really want a cupcake

--------------------------------------------

Paston: wow, that jacket is so soft that if someone hugged you they'd die on impact. And I have a deathwish! So come here!

--------------------------------------------

Quinncie: [singing to the tune of "We Just Got a Letter" from Blue's Clues] I just got a message, I just got a message, I just got a message, and it's from your man!

--------------------------------------------

T.y: Bitches be like "You mine".

T.y: First off I'm on probation, "I" belong to the state.

--------------------------------------------

Bei: I was so angry at everything when i was 13. And i was right.

--------------------------------------------

Bei: [get assigned a mission out of the city]

Bei: [drives off]

T.y: [storms into the apartment]

Rico: [sorting files]

Flesh: [at the computer]

Iris: [sharpening knives]

T.y: ATTENTION SIMPLETONS! Bei has JUST left the building!

Iris: ....

Flesh: ....

Rico: ....

T.y: and guess who’s been deputized as sheriff of this complex!

Rico: [hesitantly raises hand]

T.y: M E! 

Rico: [hand goes down]

T.y: now [presses play on bluetooth speaker] work bitches!

[Work Bitch by Britney Spears echoing throughout the apartment]

Flesh: uuuughhhh not agaaaaain–

--------------------------------------------

Iris: [putting on makeup]

Flesh: [watching]

Flesh: Why do you use so many brushes for makeup?

Iris: Was Mona Lisa painted with one brush? 

Iris: NO!

--------------------------------------------

Bei: [walks into the kitchen]

Apartment complex 404 Fam: [eating breakfast]

Bei: just a reminder; it’s Throat Punch Thursday

Bei: [leaves]

T.y: [checks imaginary watch] damn, that time again already ?

--------------------------------------------

Quinncie: I made a fool of myself today and I will make a fool of myself tomorrow. Good night!

--------------------------------------------

Eva: the only two important Michaels; Jordan and Jackson.

Peach: [while pulling out Michael Myers mask] wooooow aight bet–

--------------------------------------------

T.y: they kicked me outta church bc i yelled “fuck the devil!” I thought we all hated that motherfucker!?

--------------------------------------------

Peak Lilly: You know, one day you could be a great dad!

Chii: I already am.

Peak Lilly: flesh doesn't count.

Chii: HE IS MY CHILD!

--------------------------------------------

Chii: so, what did I miss?

Dax: flesh died twice.

--------------------------------------------

Diel: my goal is not to be the best, but to inspire someone enough to one day surpass me.

Bei: you can’t just say that every time you fail a mission.

--------------------------------------------

Iris: wow i need a drink.

Iris: [pours chocolate milk into a shot glass]

--------------------------------------------

Flesh: I think your calculations might have been off.

Diel: Well, they can't be off if I didn't do any.

--------------------------------------------

Iris: [to Elliott] You... you... you rude person!

Dax: Go easy on him, iris.

--------------------------------------------

T.y: [comes downstairs to find bei up and about]

T.y: wow you sure are quite the night person..

Bei: buddy I’m barley even a person!

--------------------------------------------

Bei: No one expects an angel to set the world on fire. But than again I'm no angel.

--------------------------------------------

T.y: oh yea? Well apparently, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree!

T.y: [Points at flesh] But this one got ran over by a fuckin lawn mower!

--------------------------------------------

Diel: I look like I'm supposed to be stalking senpai in this outfit.

Diel: Who's senpai? Hell if I know but I'm stalking him that's for sure.

--------------------------------------------

Tag list: @nansblockit @ask-the-amazing-greenland @slasher-beware @ticket-to-ride13 @illwaitinthisplace

If you want to be tagged just comment on this post or shoot me an ask/message, have a wonderful day!

[whatthefoucault]

A Chronological List of Works by me, whatthefoucault: the Everything Edition

So it turns out I’ve actually written a very good number of words.  Almost all of the superhero things I’ve written fall into the same timeline/continuity, which I like to call Earth-212, adjacent to a few canons and then sort of also has a life of its own. I wasn’t sure how best to organise this, but here’s an attempt at placing all of these works into a vague chronological order, though almost all of them can be read independently and the reading order doesn’t really matter. Largely stucky, with some other Cap Fam shenanigans, and also a lot of entries for frostmaster and other Revengers business, some Hawkeyes, and various others. Heed the tags in each fic, but bear in mind I’m here for softness, recovery, finding one’s place in the world, and that’s largely what I’m here to write about.  If this list of everything-in-chronological-order is overwhelming and you want to get more specific, here’s:

Cap Fam

Revengers

Miscellaneous

The Stargazer’s Field Guide To Constellations

By the time Bucky happened upon him, doubled over on the front steps of the library, Steve was already as green as a plate of creamed spinach.

And My Heart Beats So That I Can Hardly Speak

Steve doesn't dance, but this was a special occasion.

(A Few Inches Too Far) Underneath The Mistletoe

It was purely by chance that Steve happened upon a scruffy little sprig of discarded mistletoe on their way back from dinner with the Barnes family.

So Take It From Me, Captain America

"Ok, Captain America PSA number four, take one, and... action."

Sextown, U.S.A.

The message was vague on details, but the urgency in Wade’s voice told Steve it was serious, and that he should come alone.

“Help me, Steve Rogers,” he pleaded. “You’re my only hope.”

Steve had to admit that that got to him.

(It would be three months before Steve would see Star Wars for the first time. Needless to say, he was not amused when he did.)

... In which two supersoldiers form a very special bond across several time zones, many states, and more all-you-can-eat breakfast than anyone should ever eat in their life.

Advanced Seminar In Postmodern Cultural Analysis, Lesson Five

In which Steve Rogers and his very good friend Wade Wilson hang out.

The Sand And The Sea

Clint and Kate have not talked about that thing that happened.

Bring Your Silver Arrows

After that thing that happened with Kate, Clint's going through some stuff.

Continental Breakfast Not Included

Sam had definitely asked for separate beds, but they had been driving since before sunrise, and it was almost midnight.

This Is Going To Make For An Interesting Expenses Claim Form

The scene before him as he rushed to the bathroom door, one pant leg still flapping awkwardly underfoot, would have to anyone else been highly out of the ordinary, but they were superheroes, after all.

The Season For Plums

One day, a man went to the market to buy plums. 

Notes From A Dirty Attic

I don't know what I'm doing.

My name is Bucky. I come from Brooklyn. I died in the war.

Particle-Wave Duality

While Bucky is napping, Steve reads to him.

Blackout Nights And Tight Spaces

It was cold, then sleep, but it was different this time. He was dreaming.

Caprine Management

In which Steve meets Bucky's new friends.

Everyone’s A Winner

Little did the Grandmaster know, when he settled in by the pool, that his evening was about to become much more interesting.

The Art Of The Co-Operative Endgame

The Grandmaster surveyed the board as Loki prepared to make his move, and - oh, this was interesting, he thought - there was a very good chance indeed that Loki might actually win.

Moonshakes

"Hey Scrappy," said the Grandmaster, "what do you think of the new guy, uhh, Loki?"

Gamalost

In which the Grandmaster has found the right companion with whom to share one of his very favourite things.

or

When Loki falls out of the sky and into the Grandmaster’s lap, he gets everything he hopes for and more. The more comes in the form of cheese. A lot of cheese.

Two Seat Sofa, Hensta Light Brown

"So..." Steve hesitated to finish the question, "are we dating?"

(In which Steve and Bucky come home.)

I Guess That This Must Be The Place

He closed his eyes, and prayed his words would project over the distance, somehow:

Count down from a hundred, and then come and find me, my sunshine.

... in which the Grandmaster embarks on an intergalactic road trip in search of his love.

A Constellation Of Sunlight, Beneath The Cherry Tree

It was well into the night when they lay together, but it was not until the morning that they made love.

Rugbrød, Fløtemysost, og Molter

There were some things the Grandmaster needed to know about Loki, and it seemed, from the shift she felt in her bones as she awoke, that this was the morning to address them.

No Less Than Three Kinds of Cheese

The sun was out and the park was beautiful, but it was still too cold for a picnic.

Sugaring

Every morning, Steve sets out from the little cabin to tend to their maple trees. 

Solskinnsboller

The fact that no bakery in the entire staggering metropolis he currently called home had ever so much as heard of solskinnsboller was tragic, but Loki was nothing if not resourceful. He would just have to make them himself.

Butter, Sugar, Flour, Eggs

"What was my grandma's name?" asked Bucky, apropos of nothing.

Syzygy

It was cloudy enough that most people chose to forego the beach that Tuesday, but such things would not deter the Grandmaster and Loki from a day out.

American Globs

Objectively, he knew everything was fine. He knew they were fireworks, and that they were beautiful, and back in the day, he and Steve used to sit under the stars together and watch them light up the sky with wonder and delight.

But time had passed since then.

It’s Like Right Now

Nat and Sam visit a street food market.

Me And My Baby Gonna Touch That Leather

"I think we should fuck," said Bucky, as Steve began climbing back under the duvet.

Say The Magic Word

"Hey, if you're going past the kitchen, do you think you could get me another coffee?"

Two Brooklynites and One Big Apple

“You did good out there today,” Captain America said, brushing a layer of detritus from his unfathomably broad shoulder. “I’ll see you around.”

“Not if I see you first,” replied Miles, fingergunning with one hand as he sent a web rope fwipping off into the distance with the other, catapulting himself away at tremendous speed.

… in which two superheroes battle with bad guys, embark on community art lessons, and a friendship forms along the way.

The Nemophilists

“Conspicuous,” said Steve, apropos of nothing. Bucky was putting away the last of the clean dishes.

“Conspicuous?” asked Bucky, nesting the heatproof glass bowl precariously in a short stack of significantly smaller cereal bowls.

“Yeah,” said Steve, scooping last of the leftovers into a container that, it turned out, was a tablespoon too small. “I’m.”

Nemophilist: (n.) One who is fond of the forest.

The Shape Of A Snake In A Defensive Coil

In which Loki's not very well, and the Grandmaster volunteers a solution.

Long Hair Problems, And How To Outsmart Them

“So I guess we’re not getting up early to line up for brunch?”

The End Of A Century

This is the story of a sister and her brother.

As the shadow of the war fades and gives way to new conflicts, Becca Barnes battles the constraints of the twentieth century: an education, a marriage, a career, with the ghosts of her youth never far from her memory. As the twenty-first century barrels on through its awkward teenage phase, Bucky Barnes builds a new life, with new friends, and a burgeoning relationship with his lifelong companion Steve, the erstwhile Captain America, as they struggle to find their place in the world. The last time Becca saw her brother was on the eve of war; neither of them expected, some seventy-something years, a hip replacement, and one new arm later, to be reunited.

This is a story about family.

And Our Dreams Are Making Us Nice Stories

Steve had been adamant that a party was unnecessary; however, his friends had insisted, bundling into his little Brooklyn apartment with pizzas and a selection of local microbrews and seven-layer taco dip and two dozen supermarket cupcakes emblazoned with the most neon buttercream he had ever seen piped into the stripes of little American flags.

A Ghost That The Others Can’t See

"What'd you tell her about me?"

"Only the good stuff."

From the Mighty Forest of Vacherin to the Belegen Fields

When it came to special events, the Grandmaster did not do understated.

The Littlest Balsam In Brooklyn

In which Bucky and Steve get a tree.

When Life Gives You Limoncello

In which Bucky has baked a pie. 

Blessings

At last, the shape of life after everything had begun to come into focus. Bucky and Steve consider the next steps, and some friends come to visit.

Kinugoshi

When the Grandmaster had suggested somewhere special for lunch, Loki was not expecting a small, four-table restaurant in an unremarkable suburb of Kyoto, but there they were.

Stargazing

"You know what? Let's get out of the city," Steve suggested after dinner.

(In which Steve has a very quiet birthday.)

The Mighty Hrothgar

"Uhh, I dunno about this place, stardust," the Grandmaster said to Loki, his tone hushed. "I've introduced myself to, like, five dogs, and none of them have said a word. Why don't they like me?"

The Fundamentals of Sciurine Linguistics

Sam Wilson was sure about three things: the words Captain America were enough to nab a table for two at the most popular noodle bar in the East Village on short notice, everyone loved a good noodle bar, and ramen was up there with corn on the cob and chicken wings as the worst possible food choice for a first date.

Eight Evenings In The Kitchen

The Barnes-Rogers Hanukkristmas season was always going to be one spent almost exclusively in the kitchen.

Light Showers And A Gentle Breeze

They had been under no illusions that there would be a guarantee of snow, but nothing could have quite prepared them for the abundant, relentless sprinkle of rain.

In which Bucky and Steve go somewhere quiet for Christmas.

Nine And Three-Quarters

"I don't get it, stardust," puzzled the Grandmaster. "It was supposed to be right here. Between Platforms 9 and 10."

Strollin’

"Hot dogs?" asked Steve.

"Hot dogs," agreed Bucky.

The Greatest Thing

In which the Grandmaster plays an early afternoon slot at his very first Midgardian jazz festival.

On A Quiet Morning In The Last Forest In Brooklyn

“We said we wanted to keep the guest list short,” protested Steve. “Just close family, and close friends. Nothing expensive, nothing... tacky.”

“As if you’re one to complain about tacky,” countered Tony. “I got my invitation by group text. Who does that?”

...in which Bucky and Steve get married.

The Witches Of Føroyar

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, nestled in a little cottage just beyond the rocky shores of a tiny, windswept island, lived two very special people indeed. The green witch drew his power from the moon and the stars and the deep, dark night sky; while the gold witch shone with the power of the sun, dazzling and bright. They loved the island and the mountains and the stormy sea, but most of all, they loved each other very much.

[radiomayak]

MUSE AESTHETICS:   STURM UND DRANG  —  ROCK ‘N ROLL CHILDREN.    bold what applies to your muse, italic what applies in certain arcs or verses, and feel free to change pronouns where needed.

we’re wandering through the dark  /   without a single spark, without a sign of day  /   still through saddest grey in all our hearts will stay the will to carry on   /   the fire that’s deep inside me is burning on forever   /   we’re the last of the heroes   /   we’re never to fall   /  ‘til the end of the world  /   i’m walking through the cold without a light to hold but to the end i’ll go   /   just like me you’ll see   /   hope there’ll always be as long as you believe   /   there is a limit to how much i can carry  /   the misery i married kept me chained down so long   /   i feel alive for the first time   /   where i have been, what i have seen, contribute to the moment   /   and i want you to know, you are all that matters   /   i hope you remember me  /   hold on to your dream while the night is growing dark   /   soar as the winds lift you higher   /   keep searching for hope mountain high or river deep   /   there i’ll be tending the fire for you   /   i captured the essence of existence   /   saw the fading lifeline and took hold of the flame   /   i’ll illuminate this moment  /   become the spark to light up the dark   /   open your eyes   /  our river runs dry   /   like the river runs into the ocean   /  we’re running right into our grave  /   let me know when it’s all over   /   i shall never rise again  /   i don’t know what we’re waiting for   /   remember what we were fighting   /   i don’t care if it was us or them   /  we knew they weren’t heaven sent  /   followed them to the bitter end  /   now i know what it feels to be alone  /   i am the one   /   no longer petrified   /   seen the light through the blackest nights   /   you wanna know if a mind that’s purified can clarify this whole lie   /   so see that those kings are pretenders   /   just take my hand   /   break away from this never-ending wheels that’s spinning on and on   /   their backs against the wall /   you’ll forever see that to your heart they’ll have no key   /   you’ll bear the loneliness of all those years  /   all alone you’ll never be   /   now i see that those heroes were cheaters   /   darkest nights when you sleep and through all days i’m deep inside you   /   all the secrets you keep are forever to remind you  /   even if no one knew i will always be true   /   i’m the devil in you, know the things that you do  /   memory of sins that you’re hiding  /   can you hear i’m calling out your name again  /   can you feel, i’m crawling  /   it’s the same again   /  you can run or hide but you i always will find   /   i could go, would you mind?   /   would you do it on forever? or leave all that behind and redo it never ever?   /   i’m an angel in you, show the things that you do   /   memory of sins that you’re fighting   /   so many darkened days have passed   /  so many lonely nights i’ve had to last   /   distance to light and happiness feels infinite   /   closing my eyes, i can see your face but the feeling of warmth is long gone   /   i would fly, leave this solitude far behind   /   hold you eternally close to mine   /   these million nights of winter  /   trying to cope with how it is   /   one day i’ll feel joy and nothing of this   /   with mind that is frozen by this cold i can still recall what you were to hold   /   i close my eyes and i wait for when the feeling of warmth will return   /  right out of the night, we’re taking the fight   /   from now on we’ll go our way   /   glory we’ll find  /   reborn we are today   /  you’re gonna see when that’s over   /   we never give it up   /   we come alive   /   never falter, never fail   /  freedom shall be eternal   /   forever again our power will win  /   your lies won’t be heard of   /   my aims for times come, my future, was bright   /   promised before me, ‘way brighter it will be’   /   so foolish was i then, i just couldn’t see /   tricked and fooled me, trap set up by thee   /  now you shall pay   /   time for vengeance has come   /   i’m breaking these chains of your pain   /   you cannot stand in my way   /   you can’t run   /   now you will pay for what’s done   /   these chains will be yours   /   the last word of this tale is mine   /  weakened and fragile, was caught in your web   /   betrayed and deceived me, brainwashed, could not see   / don’t, don’t ask me to explain   /   i’ve already told you more than words could ever say everytime i hold you   /   through the good times and the bad  /   no matter what you do, i’m hanging on and on and on  /   and if an angel comes my way, i’m gonna try to catch her if i can   /   do anything to get her to stay   /   you can call me stupid, say that i should give you up    /    don’t, don’t ask me why i stay, don’t say i could do better   /   it’s just a little rain, and we can’t get much wetter   / just let go and close your eyes   /   never mind the time and place, as long as you still want me, i’ll stay   /   lying awake, again, as the night before   /  wondering if this moon will be my last   /   finding myself inside the hourglass   /   one second you’re here, one moment all changes   /   the light of the sun fades away  /   i’d give it all, if something i had, for those times   /   all of the time it replays in my head  /   memory runs blank like a broken arrow  /   from times of the past, from darkness to the present   /  one step and you fall, and everything changes   /   the shine of the stars fades away   /  crystal eyes, never cries   /   on and on the pain no one can see   /   dream of yours, chains of mine   /   on and on the rain no one can feel  /   in the dead of the night, her lonely heart will cry   /   ever far away, her dreams will lie   /   hope is left to die   /   heaven is not here  /   why she cannot stay?   /   never want to waste another day, never again  /  heaven, it seems, is nothing but hell  /  fades away, every day  /   on and on through the grey that never ends   /   sail away, no angels will be sent.

tagged by: @italitude

tagging: This one is a biggun, take her if you want it, steal it, tag me, don’t tag me, whatever u want fam

[redhairedwolfwitch]

Blue Canary and Batgirl - Lance!Reader x Earth 1! Team Arrow - Blue Canary Part 2

Request: Maybe the reader can visit her family’s doppelgängers and you could also show her life on her earth. Like maybe she has a girlfriend or something.

Due to alternate earths and doppelgängers this means that events that occur in the canon Batman series do not always occur on Earth 30 such as Barbara Gordon being shot in the spine by the Joker, becoming paralysed. 

You let out a ragged breath, pacing the circle of the mat with your eyes not leaving your sparring partner before the next round began. Barbara smirked as she threw punches and kicks as you ducked and dodged leaving yourself open as she lunged at you. Barbara pinned you to the mat with a smirk, your wrists above your head as she straddled you, noses inches apart.

“Gotcha babe.” Barbara joked as you stared up at her, cheeks bright red.

“Alright, Gordon you win... we have to go to lunch anyway before I go visit Earth 1.” You stated as Barbara let you up, catching your lips at the end of your sentence.

“Oh no just go ahead, don’t let me stop you.” Dick joked as he entered in his Nightwing attire. “Hey Dick, we’re gonna go to lunch, have fun training Damian.” You joked, sarcastically gaining a playful glare from your adoptive brother.

“So, Earth 1, what’s it like?” Barbara questioned as you and her began to eat your lunch in a off-street Subway which due to its off-street nature kept the two of you hidden from paparazzi with you being the adopted daughter of Bruce Wayne and Barbara being the commissioner's daughter.

“Its weird, my family is alive, Green Arrow and The Flash are dudes, they don’t know about the Green Lanterns or Atlantis but they have time travel oh and there are aliens on Earth 38 so that’s interesting.” You explained, playing with the straw to your drink.

A hand grasped yours causing you to look up as Barbara smiled. “Do you think I could come with you next time to meet them?” She questioned, the nervousness obvious on her face.

“Of course, I don’t think they’ll mind...we’ve been together for 3 years anyway...” You replied before Barbara’s phone began to ring. 

“Oh shoot, I have to go meet my dad, I’ll see you later babe, have a nice trip and I hope everyone’s well.” Barbara explained, pecking you on the lips before leaving the Subway.

---Time Skip---

You smiled as you arrived on Earth 1, entering what was Earth 1 Oliver Queen’s campaign office to enter the elevator leading to the Bunker as they called it. The Arrow Bunker.

“Hey its that Blue Canary person. I mean obviously your a person-uh.” Felicity spoke as you walked over. “Yeah... Blue Canary is my codename but my real name is Y/n, Y/n M/n Lance.” You replied, waving awkwardly at everyone.

“Hey, its been a while, how’s Gotham?” Earth 1 Laurel questioned. You’d mainly been visiting both Laurel’s and Quentin on separate occasions whenever you had spare time with Sara being back on the Waverider timetravelling.

“Gotham’s Gotham, Joker’s up to stuff, the Sirens are causing chaos and all the other villains keep ransacking the place so the Bat-Fam has a lot to do.” You replied, smiling at Laurel in response.

“Sirens?” Black Siren questioned with a smirk.

“Gotham City Sirens, Poison Ivy, Cat-Woman and Harley Quinn...” You replied, flicking through your phone for photos as both Laurels walked over to you.

“Wait who’s that kissing...is that you kissing someone? Wait who’s that? It looks like an anniversary.” Laurel questioned as Black Siren raised an eyebrow at you.

“That is the 3rd anniversary of my girlfriend and I’s relationship, Dick, my adoptive brother took those photos on my phone....” You replied, going bright red as both Laurel’s looked through the photos.

“She’s cute, is she a vigilante too?”

“Batgirl.” You replied, bluntly, trying to take your phone back from Black Siren who literally raised an eyebrow at you causing you to back off.

“Barbara huh... wait what’s this photo?” Laurel questioned, zooming in on certain points. “Ugh, her name is Barbara Gordon, she’s Batgirl, my girlfriend of 3 years, best friend for way longer and her father is the police commissioner in Gotham.” You explained, sneakily getting your phone back before your watch flickered with blue light gaining everyone’s attention.

You paused as you watched your watch display the Blue Canary symbol causing you to smile sadly.

“The Blue Canary is needed in Gotham back on my Earth...I’ll see you later.” You replied hugging both Laurel’s before using the interdimensional extrapolator to return to your Earth and suit up.

“She’s amazing, I wonder what she would have been like if she’d grown up with us...” Laurel stated, gaining a shrug from Black Siren.

“Better with you than with me.” Siren stated in response gaining a sad smile from Laurel.

Laurel just smiled as she thought back to the photos in your phone, she was looking forward to finally meeting that girlfriend of yours either way.

[shemakesmeforget]

15 fics under 1K kudos - WIPs

Here’s the list for wips, I might have to do a part 2 for this too lol WHO READS THIS MUCH JSADGSJG these are all fics I think are not abandonded (if I’m wrong, correct me) but I just listed stuff that've been updated in the last 6 months, just in case. Anyway, enjoy :)

A Practical Guide to Winning the Olympics (Dos and Don’ts) by Anna (arctic_grey) (@finleighsaid)

Canonverse, Rated E, 75K, 3 / 4

When pair skater Yuuri Katsuki’s career comes to a scandalous end, he does not expect the retired pair skating legend Viktor Nikiforov to suggest that they compete together. But taking on a new skating partner is full of trial and error, and the skating world doesn’t know how to react when the Katsuki-Nikiforov duo, against all odds, starts doing well. The last thing either of them should do, as they strive for their last chance at greatness, is to fall in love. Yuuri knows he is damaged goods, and Viktor knows his body is starting to fail him. They have competitions to survive and medals to win. No, falling in love is out of the question; they’re just very good friends. And even if Viktor felt something, he’d never act on it, and even if Yuuri happened to be hopelessly in love, he’d be mortified if Viktor ever found out.

“Well,” Viktor said, “let’s summarise: I’m pushing thirty, have a bad ankle, and haven’t skated competitively in three years. You’re barely out of a doping scandal, coachless, and on the JSF’s blacklist. Hell, Yuuri – we might as well go for it, then. What on earth do we have to lose?

When Viktor put it like that, it seemed to make an awful lot of sense.

• The fact that this is one of the few pair skating AUs out there it’s insane imo BUT this one is so good? just imagine the amount of UST, they’re all over each other, i’m in love!

Mon Trésor by KasumiChou (@kasumi-chou)

Canonverse, Rated T, 14K, 4 / 5

Curse his fragile little heart for always falling for people out of his league.

Like, what chance did he ever have with Victor Nikiforov? But Victor still became, not only his childhood idol but also, his first crush.

His first crush was a man four years his senior. A man who lived in another continent. A man that hadn’t known he existed until a week ago.

Then he had moved to Geneva, and his heart had been hypnotized by Chris’s charm

Before he knew it, not only had Chris hypnotized him, but also seduced him.

His fragile little heart had done it again, falling in love with another man out of his league.

At least his second crush had been a little more realistic.

He knew Chris, they had been rink mates - and later roommates.

Maybe that is what made it so much more dangerous.

• Get ready to be hit with angsty love traingle/polyamory feels my dudes, this is about to get juicy af. 

Sometimes you need an alterego by SassySalchow (@diedraechin)

Canonverse, Rated T, 3K, 1/?

In the daytime, I'm Katsuki Yuuri, just a dime-a-dozen figure skater with a normal life. But there's something about me that no one knows yet, 'cause I have a secret... cue theme music

The Miraculous Ladybug! AU that no one asked for but I'm gonna write anyway

• This is so fluffy and fun! I know nothing about ML and enjoyed it a lot anyway.

sweet like love (soft like pain) by postingpebbles (@postingpebbles)

Canonverse, Rated M, 9K, 3/?

Loving Yuuri was a choice that Viktor never regretted making. His smile, his laughter, the way his lips felt against his own—nothing could make him happier than having Yuuri in his arms.

But when the entire world has no idea that rivals Yuuri Katsuki and Viktor Nikiforov are in a relationship, Viktor can't do anything at all when Yuuri gets in an accident and is rushed to the hospital the day after he proposes in a hotel room in Nagano

• Angsty secret relationships are apparently my thing, this one is so bittersweet because they’re so cute and soft but at the same time the drama!!!

the face of heaven (the taste of sin) by RedHeather  (@red--heather)

Canonverse, Rated E, 9K, 2/?

Yuri Plisetsky @y_plisetsky Pity you didn’t medal at Four Continents, 

@phichit_chu . That way you’d have something other than my hands around your fucking neck.Phichit Chulanont 

@phichit_chu @y_plisetsky, can you even reach my neck? 

-

There is a bitter rivalry between Yakov Feltsman and Celestino Cialdini that has stretched on for decades.

As tensions escalate and the ISU begin to punish any aggressors, it was inevitable that Viktor Nikiforov and Katsuki Yuuri, rivals-by-consequence and enemies-by-association, would fall in love.  

• Rivals AU but like whole skating fams against each other!!!!! Sassy Yuuri, pining Viktor, angry Yuri and lots of social media shenanigans.

Focus on Me by alipiee (@alipiee)

College AU, Rated T, 5K, 1 / 2

For Victuri Gift Exchange 2017 

Prompt: "College AU -Yuuri’s roommate Phichit has to suddenly move back to Thailand for the rest of the semester due to a family emergency, and Yuuri has to find a new roommate quickly in order to pay the rent on their apartment. Viktor is the only one who applies, and he’s not at all what Yuuri expects."

• ALL THE PINING with a side of misunderstanding, good stuff! so sweet

Time and Hearts Will Wear Us Thin by lunar_peach

College AU, Rated T, 151K, 19 / 20

Maybe it was the impact of the fall, and the numbing action of the ice, but he felt weightless. He felt conquered by cupid and the sting of his arrow right in the middle of his chest as he looked up at Yuuri, who held a blank expression on his face.

Maybe it was the impact of the fall, and the numbing action of the ice, but he felt weightless. He felt conquered by cupid and the sting of his arrow right in the middle of his chest as he looked up at Yuuri, who held a blank expression on his face.

Somewhere in the distance, though it seemed like a different dimension to Victor, a timer went off. The music stopped.

You could hear it in the silence then.

Victor’s heart was going one hundred miles an hour.

Or the one where Yuuri Katsuki, scented candle aficionado, and self-proclaimed hot mess, never intended to capture the attention of one eligible bachelor, Victor Nikiforov, but sometimes the universe has its ways of making things happen. Amidst inner battles with their demons and themselves, they find a world in one another neither quite expected.

• The tags look kinda crazy but don't fear (?) this fic goes through lots of years LOTS, a story about friendship, love, heartache, “we can't be together vs we should be together”, and the ongoing growth of the characters BEWARE it gets super angsty at times.

do you love me just a little, honey? by DefiantDreams (@gia-comeatme)

Spy/Mafia AU, Rated E, 4K, 1 / 3

Viktor Nikiforov, next Pakhan, has a type.

Yuuri Katsuki, Division 6’s newest honeypot agent, is sent to exploit that.

• Honeypot Yuuri aka my dream, awesome funny sexy mystery!

Victor the Great by Multiple_Universes (@witharthurkirkland)

Historical AU, Rated T, 43K, 17 / 21

At the age of nine Victor became the Tsar of all the Russias with Lilia as regent. One day he will be the sole ruler of Russia, the man who makes all the decisions and gets to do what he wants, with one exception: he has to marry a woman from a Russian aristocratic family. Except that he falls in love with a boy who is a foreign commoner. Will he risk the throne to be able to marry the one he loves? 

Based loosely on Peter the Great's life (with some tweaks made to history).

• Follow the life of Tsar Viktor falling in love with Yuuri and eventually having his very own St. Victorburg or Yuuriburg ;)

It's All Contextual by AlexWSpark (@alexwspark)

Office AU, Rated M, 24K, 6 / 8

Why in the seven levels of fuck was Victor Nikiforov buying him coffee?

Yuuri decides to find out.

• Dorky Viktor + Confident Yuuri + misunderstanding = surprisingly not an angsty story!! very cute and fluffy

The Roommate Trap by impolitecanadian (@impolitecanadian)

Roommate AU, Rated M, 11K, 5/?

Victor doesn't believe in marriage. So when Chris, his best friend and roommate of 6 years, tells him he's going to have to move out so he can get married, Victor is reasonably upset. Good thing Victor's upstairs neighbour is looking for a roommate and maybe a little (okay, a lot) more. 

this is basically the odd couple but with a lot more sex and non-subtextual gayness 

• Viktor is a fool, Yuuri is the sass master/anxiety disaster, Chris just wants all the drama. They totally don’t work well together but it’s hilarious.

Roses of May by cuttlemefish (@cuttlemefishwrites)

Royalty/Magic AU, Rated E, 18K, 5/?

At age five, all children are assessed for talent and beauty in the City of Hasetsu and the other eight cities of the Empire. Every year, five are branded with the mark of a rose before being carded off to the Emperor’s palace where they are trained to become Roses, or sacrifices to be sent every May to the Ice Spirit that lives in the castle at the top of the mountain. Roses never return, except for Katsuki Yuuri, who shocks the Empire when he appears again two years after his departure with a silver crown on his head and a blond baby in his arms, demanding the Emperor step down or face the wrath of his husband, the Ice King. But, not everything is what it seems.

• Such an interesting world with lots of very well thought details! also... growing up together, childhood friends to lovers...... you can’t come at me like that.

History Maker by 96percentdone (@96percentdone)

Time Travel/Soulmates AU, Rated T, 15K, 5/?

It's the year 2134. Katsuki Yuuri, recently turned 18, just got his soulmark. There's really only one thing left to do: submit it to the online database and figure out who his match is, meet up with them and hopefully live happily ever after. Seems simple enough, right? Well, it would be, if his soulmate wasn't Viktor Nikiforov, a figure skating legend from the early 2000s.

AKA the story where Yuuri invents time travel to be with his soulmate, and shenanigans happen.

• me at me: don’t read this you’re a big baby and you’ll suffer; also me:¯\_(ツ)_¯ I like this AU a lot, imagine being so iconic you invent time travel just to meet your soulmate.

Toxic Valentine by voxofthevoid (@voxofthevoid)

Demons AU, Rated E, 53K, 8/?

The worst he can do is kill you with his dick.

Viktor, pleasantly tipsy and unpleasantly lonely, assumes that the pretty man he sees in a club is a sex demon. Instead, he finds reserved, nervous Katsuki Yuuri who’s as reluctantly enchanted by Viktor as Viktor is by him.

The rest of the night is unforgettable, and in the morning, Yuuri’s still there.

Love bleeds into lust, infatuation becomes adoration, and it's not long before the loneliness Viktor wears like a shroud disintegrates under the weight of warm brown eyes and tender hands. But Viktor has his secrets, and Yuuri might not be all he seems. 

In which Viktor discovers life and love in a man who’s as mysterious as he is beautiful, and it could be the best or worst thing that’s ever happened to him.

• The love story between the thirstiest demon hunter aka Viktor and a demon???????  Yuuri. A great balance between fluff, sexy times and mystery!

Water by Peasantaries (@peasantaries)

Dancers AU, Rated E, 26K, 11 / 15    

Yuuri is nineteen, a student at the Royal Ballet School in London, and already having doubts when Viktor Nikiforov joins as a guest teacher.

Famous, beloved Russian Prince in Bourne's Swan Lake, Nikiforov is Yuuri's idol from afar, but these two forces soon collide after Viktor oversees Yuuri practising and decides that Yuuri could surpass him, if only he can learn to move like water.

[WILL BE COMPLETED]

• lots of dancing!!! off the charts UST!!! Two dorks that should DATE ALREADY!! amazing

Shall We Dance? by darlingholocene (@byebyeholocene)

DWTS AU, Rated T, 11K, 6/?

Season 21 of Dancing With the Stars is about to air its first episode (March 30, on ABC), and the celebrity cast has finally been announced today.

Among them is Russian ice skating legend Victor Nikiforov, two-time Olympic Gold Medalist and five-time World Champion. Nikiforov, who just won Gold at the Sochi Olympics in front of his home public, has been paired with DWTS veteran Yuuri Katsuki, who is yet to win the Mirrorball Trophy despite this being his eighth season as a pro.

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Victor and Yuuri's journey on DWTS narrated entirely through social media. 

• Totally a pick me up fic! light, fun and adorable!

[callistawolf]

Arrow 6x14: my thoughts

I liked it better than I did 6x13, I’ll say that right off the bat. And there were even some moments I loved in this episode. *gasp* So let’s get into it. 

The domestic scene with William and Felicity making cookies/learning thermodynamics made my shriveled heart grow 3 sizes

honestly, I believe she was the one teaching the science and William was the one making the actual cookies cuz we know homegirl can’t bake

if every episode could have a scene like this, I’ll be so happy. this is literally all i need. i’m ridiculously easy to please. 

I have a question: when did laurel have a chance to withdraw the money? she was pretty busy the last episode so when between the last deposit and her getting SHOT did she fly to corto maltese and back???

Did someone check under her mattress for the money?

quentin’s a damn liar. look at him STRAIGHT UP LYIN to Thea and Oliver. Duuuuuuuuuuude. 

the newbies and their sonic imaging nonsense has got to be the dumbest sort of fake technology i’ve ever seen omg

OTA using blood trail seems like a far better way to do detective work, just sayin. More believable, at least.

“since when is our word not enough” HAHAHAHAHA OMG Did he JUST say that?? Like... do you remember when you RATTED ON OLIVER?

Rene’s got a lot of winners tonight: “i think oliver wants to fight. cuz that’s how he solves all his problems” HELLO POT, MEET KETTLE

these newbies are being such childish drama queens. why don’t y’all switch to decaf, jeez

“they never treated us like their equals” cuz y’all aren’t. that’s the tea. 

THEY BUGGED OTA!?! HYPOCRITE MUCH?!? Okay, you guys have zero legs left to stand on. You’re going forward with NO LEGS. I’m dying, this is hilarious. 

i mean i do agree with NTA that there’s no way Siren hands over that money, but they’re still tantrum throwing little toddlers so 💁🏼‍♀️

I’m not kidding, NTA are literally acting like villains. If they were anyone but NTA, we’d be going “look at these campy ass villains”

“quentin that’s insane” THEA FOR THE WIN

spoiler quentin: you’re wrong about there being good in her. she’s just evil. LET HER BE EVIL, DAMN. 

(you know what’s gonna happen, he’s gonna die cuz of some bullshit thing she does and then she’ll be all OH I HAVE REGRETS and she’ll wanna be the woman he believed her to be and blah blah redemption and then she’ll be gone)

(she’s not joining the team, fam. there’s just no way so stop worrying about that 😂)

key point to be made: Oliver doesn’t trust Siren, he trusts Quentin

Rene is gleeful about the prospect of hurting John. wtf. 

bless Dig for taking the high road and questioning what they’re doing but… NTA is wrong. 

“they crossed [the line] first” YES THEY DID. surveilling NTA was not crossing the line. THIS SHIT IS. 

music to my ears: “i’m not doing this for you. when this is over i don’t ever want to hear your name or see your face ever again”

okay quentin is being a dumbass but beating him down? TOO FAR DINAH. 

Why is Curtis being the least objectionable NTA member??

Oliver telling Quentin the tea about Siren is what its all about. Tastes sooooooo good. 

At least Dinah realizes more violence isn’t the answer. But she’s still being awful about everything so... meh. 

“We don’t want to see you again FOREVER”. omg curtis you toddler. I take back what I said before. You’re so objectionable. 

lol at laurel posing as her earth 1 self. this won’t end well. 

I’d just like to revisit Oliver using his ONE SCENE this year so far with Siren to tell her he never wants to hear her name or see her face again. But yes, LL fans, tell me how he “settled” for Felicity and soon as BS is redeemed he’ll be all up in her business. I’m just DYING to hear how you justify this one. 🍿

[jordm]

Heartland 11x11  - Somewhere in Between review

I really really enjoyed this episode. It felt like such a sharp departure from last episode; where the drama was more low-key but also felt more realistic and home-based, which is why most of us fell in love with the show. From Chris Potter (Tim’s) struggle, which many of us can relate too, even if not on an illness level to seeing Ty/Amy get back to basics/work; it was just a feel good hit ya in the spot episode. More of this please!

^ also how cute is Buddy and Lisa’s horse in this picture!

Katie is in Vancouver with Peter and this makes me happy for many reasons, but mostly because she’s with fam and Peter stepping up and being the parent since Lou is kinda... gone. And also because maybe they finally realized it can’t hurt to mention where people are so we know they’re alive?

Speaking of mentions, Cass is finally taking a long due vacation with Caleb and is making Ty pay back dividends by babysitting the troublemaker Jasper.

Also, there’s a snow appearance (but no Lou!)

TIM 

When Casey goes to Jack to talk to him about Tim, I can’t help but feel bad. She’s in the dark, for what Tim thinks is a good intention on his part, and knows in her gut that it’s something deeper than “I don’t love you anymore.” To that end, Jack is also worried about Tim also hearing about how he broke up with Casey and it’s a testament to how far their relationship has come since season one.

Anyways, Tim still doesn’t want to tell anyone and Jack disagrees. He hates keeping secrets and frankly I’m just surprised he didn’t tell anyone yet. I understand both Tim and Jack’s POV; with Tim not wanting to burden anyone and not wanting to be more “real”, with Jack thinking about how Tim needs more support than just him.

One of my favourite parts about this storyline is all the Marion flashbacks and memories. Tim babysitting Lyndy and telling her a fairytale about “Princess Marion” and the no-so prince “Prince Tim” was adorable and really demonstrated how much he loved his daughters (even if he really only sees one of them).

“She would have loved you so much” - Tim about Marion loving Lyndy

When Casey demands that Tim tell her the truth about the real reason why they broke up, he tells her he doesn’t love her anymore. Luckily, Casey can see through the truth, and calls him a coward, probably not suspecting the actual real reason in anyway. Eventually though, he tells Casey the actual real real reason (I’ve said real way to many times in this paragraph); that his biggest regret was not letting Marion in and being honest with her- the result being she left him to help herself when he was going through his addiction, and that this is his way of giving him a way out. But Casey, god bless her heart, isn’t going anywhere and I’m really glad he can now add Casey to his support system.

Tim later visits Marion’s grave (this is probably what inspires that Marion memorial ride thing) and one can only hope through his little epiphany he’s finally starting to get past his regrets from the past and will finally tell his family (which I suspect he might based on spoilers).

To close this ridiculously long section, I enjoyed Tim’s character development here. It happened over 3-4ish episodes and that was a refreshing change as opposed to other storylines. I hope now that his character doesn’t regress and continues to move forward.

JACK & LISA

LISA IS BACK GUYS! Lisa is back. And she’s working with Val on the hunt ride thing, which is an odd pairing, especially since they weren’t aruging... too much.

I really enjoyed Tim’s advice to just go with Lisa on the hunt thing because it means something to her. It spoke to his situation; he realized that time is precious and he/we should be treasuring every moment we have with our loved ones.

Jack adorably asks Amy to help him ride English and dons the outfit, surprising Lisa. A happy Lisa makes me happy; especially when Lisa realizes she’s been focusing too much on what’s happening with Val and Dan and hasn’t noticed Jack being miserable (or maybe it’s because of the snow?). More Jisa adventures please?

AMY & TY

It was refreshing to see Amy have a nightmare about Mongolia. Great acting on Amber’s part, and I only hope that this nightmare shows them that they can’t do this running off business again.

“Don’t leave me” - Amy to Ty (when ironically, she was the one who told Ty to go to Mongolia)

Amy’s client today is Oliver, a retired racer who has issues with trail rides and whose owner wants to re home Oliver, so Amy enrolls Oliver in the hunt since their may be potential buyers. I liked how Amy seemed to mildly distressed when the owner arrived early and she couldn’t spend more time with her family, as well as how she initially struggled (even if I wish she struggled a little more) to figure out what was wrong. Even though it seemed like a quick fix, it was nice to see her struggle to contain Oliver when Dan was talking.

Lastly, the scene of Ty and Amy running around the house getting ready to leave for work and getting Tim acquainted with everything, and then Amy pulling back for a second kiss was nice. It felt natural, as did the last scene; although as I said previously in another post, I feel like Lyndy twins might assist with that!

“Well look on the bright side she’s never gonna ask us to dog sit again”

GEORGIE

Val isn’t happy she got third. And because Val isn’t happy, Georgie can’t be even though everyone else is thrilled. Can’t Val just be happy for once? When Val tracks down Amy at the hunt, Amy assures her that Georgie really wants to win the fall finale, so Val says she’s going to come watch a practice. Yeah, that’ll go well. 

Anyways, I have a suspect feeling that somehow Dylan (of whom Val offered to be a new rider should she continue to be impressed with Georgie), despite his insistence that his season will be over if Arrow is lame, will ride Flame in the fall finale, as we Georgie ride Phoenix in the fan extra day (oops spoiler?). And we saw Georgie jump Phoenix no problem this episode.

But that’s just worry because Wyatt is back. He has since ended things with the girl back in Calgary, a little too late but whatever. Georgie is “over it” but doesn’t want things to back to how they used to be. That is, least until the end of the episode when she realizes Wyatt had good intentions when warning her about Dylan, even if he currently had no intention of saying yes.

I feel kinda bad for Wyatt, but I applaud Georgie for not going straight back into a relationship, rather friends. She needs more friends.

And Dylan tells Georgie to take some time off and have some fun is good advice but I don’t know if Val would approve of this advice. 

VAL

I just think Dan and Val are an odd pairing and I want to see more of this and less of Val being hard on Georgie. She doesn’t even have her mother here for petes sake!

SONGS IN THIS EPISODE

Call Me Again - Evan Olson

Grace - Rose Cousins

[swaglexander-the-great]

Hey!!!! Dumb question but what exactly is the Iliad?

THE ILIAD: A SUMMARY

The Short Version: A yarn about blokes getting shitmixed in a war over Miss Hellenic Beauty Champion because some gods thought it would be a Lol.

The Long Version: A Homeric epic poem passed down through spoken word over generations that was penned down in about 800 BC. In the mythological timeline, it ends the Age of Heroes (by wasting them all). It covers the Greek seige of Troy, a whole lotta gods Messing With Shit, a Poseidon who needs anger management, a few hundred names and lots of General Epicness ft Diomedes and Patroklus. Sit back my buddy, let’s go through a quick summary of the books.

Book 1: Apollo ghettoblasts the Greeks with Pain because Agamemescunt kidnapped his priestess Chryseis. Being a douchebag, Agadouchebag Mr Steals Yo Girl from Achilles, which leads to in͟ten̛şȩ ͟śul͜ki͢n̶g͡ . Achilles’ divine Ma brokers a deal with the Zeus goose (not literally thank goodness, although it’s a definite possibility) so that the Greeks won’t win until they realize how fucked they are without Achilles and go crawling back to him for help.

Book 2: Zeus messes with Agafuckface by telling him to attack Troy. Agamemhoe messes with Zeus by telling his entire army to fuck off back to Greece. Odysseus, with Athena’s help, uses his wicked ol’ tongue to lick  Agaiceheart back into  shape (not literally, although very possible in Ancient Greece). There are 31 paragraphs of names about Greeks and 16 paragraphs of names about Trojans going to war. The epic story continues.

Book 3: The armies meet. Memealaus (sorry, Menelaus) and Paris decide to have a 1v1 to end this shindig. Paris is saved by Aphrodite and a cloud because he is a Weak Bitch, so we gear up for another 9 years and 11 months of war. Helen tells Aphrodite to go fuck Paris herself if she likes him so much, but Aphrodite threatens Godly Bitch Revenge is Helen ever talks back to her like that again.

Book 4: Menelaus gets grazed by an arrow. Like a football player with a stubbed toe, this means war. He also apparently had ‘shapely thighs and fair ankles’. Watch out for the Zeus eagle, boi. Fighting commences. Diomedes appears. He is awesome, as usual. We continue to the next chapter.

Book 5: Pretty much an entire chapter about Diomedes being a son of a gun and killing fucking everything thanks to Athena. A dude called Sthenelus gets a rock hard boner watching all of this. Aeneas thinks it’s a good idea to take on Diomedes. Mistake. Big Mama Aphrodite has to save him, also with a cloud. Diomedes hasn’t quite reached Critical Awesome yet, so he stabs Ares and Aphrodite as well. Hera calls Ares a little bitch and we carry on.

Book 6: Just a lot of death really. Diomedes was going to kill a bloke, but they realize they are family friends, so just do a little swapsie of armour. Hector gives Paris a spray for being a cowardly little bitch, Paris agrees, and they set off for battle.

Book 7: Hector decides to 1v1 and get this over with. Menelaus tries to accept, but his wingmen Restrain Him. Ajax gets picked out of a hat to fight, but after a bit of a tussle it gets dark, so the fighting pair give each other presents and go home for the night. The next day, they all take a holiday from fighting and the Greeks build a wall. Poseidon is triggered. (reason here.)

Book 8: Due to Poseidon being triggered, Zeus forbids any godly interference on both sides of the war. Hera and Poseidon bitch about Zeus as the Greeks get casually wreckt by the Trojans, but decide not to act on it. Lucky for the Greeks, the Trojans decide sleeping is better than winning, so leave off for the night.

Book 9: The Greeks hit Fuck It and decide to grovel to Achilles for help. Before they do, Diomedes gives Agasaggytitnon a spray for being a douchebag, and everyone agrees that he is indeed a douchebag. Sthenelus probably pops another boner. Back in the tent with the power pair, Achilles and Patroklus, Patroklus tries to be the polite bf to the pleading Greeks, but Achilles is still thinks Agamoomoo called him a ‘vile tramp’ so refuses to help. The drama continues.

Book 10: Odysseus and BAMF Diomedes go on a sneak mission and  heroically stab the Trojans in their sleep. They also heroically steal some horses. The epic heroism continues.

Book 11: Hector takes a leaf out of Diomedes’ book and decides to shitmix the Greeks. He successfully shitmixes the Greeks, giving Agamugface a well-deserved arm wound. Paris shoots Diomedes in the foot, but Diomedes literally does not give a shit. Some random dude gives Odysseus a bit of a stab, Ajax gets Confused By Zeus but survives, but things still look Grim. Sweetheart Patroklus sees the Grimness and decides to try and use his wiles to break Achilles out of his Uber Sulk.

Book 12: The Trojans continue to roadhaul the Greeks, which will come back to bite Hector, but we do meet a dude called Thootes. He doesn’t do shit, but his name is great. There is graphic violence, and the Trojans go to chuck a Greek ship on the barbie. 

Book 13: Poseidon rises from the sea, back being a buddy to the Greeks now the his great enemy The Triggering Greek Wall has been overcome.There is a shit ton of fighting wherein the Greeks do well and Poseidon is happy because he’s getting vengeance for his other traumatic wall experience.

Book 14: Hera sees Poseidon disobeying Zeus and getting sweet wall vengeance and while probably thinking she married the wrong brother, decides to use Titty Distraction so that the Greeks don’t get chucked on the Trojan barbie. Titty Distraction predictably works A+ and the Trojans get slightly shat on with gratuitous eyeball violence. Hector gets hit by a rock and almost has the most anticlimactic death since Amycus, who suffered death by Elbow Punch.

Book 15: Zeus wakes, calls Hera a scurvy knave and tells Poseidon to Fight Him. Poseidon does not want to Fight Him, so melts back into the ocean and stops helping the Greeks. Apollo resurrects Hector from his rock to the face and the Trojans joyously return to their mission to barbeque the Greek ships.

Book 16: Honeyboo Patroklus (still on his way to Achilles since Book 11) sees Apollo and his Brojans on the warpath and breaks Achilles’ heart with Man Tears. While Achilles and Patbroklus have a very, very long, heartfelt conversation, the Trojans start to toast the Greek ships. Achilles gives (yes gives) Patroklus his armour and tells him to fuck shit up, but not to win without him. Fighting commences, we discover the word hurly-burly, Sarpedon dies in a shower of Zeus-induced blood rain and Patroklus becomes Diomedes 2.0 until he is gang bashed by Hector, Apollo, a literal god, and some awkward random called Euphorbus. Sasstroklus delivers a final fuck you, pulls the finger at all three of his killers and blazes it down to Hades.

Book 17: Hector takes Achilles’ armour off Patroklus, marking him as target #1 for the Sulk King. The Trojans and the Greeks spend an entire chapter having a tug of war with Patroklus’ body. Ajax and Menelaus comment mildly on how Zeus is helping out the Trojans, and the god shines a bit of sunlight in chagrin for being called out. The Greeks win the tug of war thanks to Double Ajax Tactics.

Book 18: In which Achilles goes nuts. Everybody has a cry because Patroklus was a Swell Guy (seriously,as swell as a Hawaiian surf that guy). Achilles goes and therapy-screams at the Trojans, who see the mad bloke and back the fuck off -  rightfully so, as Achilles is planning some good old human sacrifice to his dead ‘rider’ Patroklus. Meanwhile, Hephaestus quick-smelts some smashing new armour for Achilles with his household robots.

Book 19: Achilles gets dolled up for battle. Agadickbutt and Odysseus try to placate the madman with gifts, including Briseis, the dame Agamemnope stole from Achilles, but Achilles’ quota of fucks has run out indefinitely. He saddles up and gets ready to fuck up his bae killer.

Book 20: Zeus R͡ELE҉ASE͜S̵ ͝T̀H͜E͡ ́ǴO̷D͞S͝ and lets them play for whichever team they like, so long as Achilles doesn’t sack Troy just quite yet. It’s probably a friendly game similar to football in god terms. Athena invents the spear boomerang, Hera and Poseidon do some casual sunbathing, while Achilles paints the town red rather literally. 

Book 21: Achilles finds men too weak and decides to take on a literal river (Scamander). Achilles realizes this was A̴ B̸ad ̶I͜de͟a͡and decides he’ll stick to men. We’re not sure whether Diomedes would have backed off from a river, but I guess we’ll never know. Apollo saves a dude called Agenor from Achilles molestation and in doing so also saves the Brojans. The epic story continues.

Book 22: Apollo says surprise Achilles, tricked ya into chasing me boi, I’m immortal. Achilles stares him dead in the eye for a full minute then says ‘fuck you’ and rides off back to Troy. Hector decides it’s time for another 1v1, but at the last minute considers that this idea was insane and fuckin legs it. Achilles chases Hector around the wall of Troy three times presumably to this soundtrack. Hector finally stops to fight, and thanks to the Athena Spear Boomerangᵀᴹ, Achilles avenges his Patroklus. Hector performs the minor miracle of talking whilst having a spear sticking out of his throat before he dies, then Troy’s hero gets roadhauled and everyone is Sad. 

Book 23: Ghost Patroklus pays Achilles a visit, like a sexy Obi wan Kenobi and tells Achilles to bury him already. Patghostklus also beseeches that their bones be laid (ha) together when Achilles inevitably gets fucked on by Fate. Achilles says of course bby I was gonna do that anyway, and tries to make out with a ghost, but this isn’t a Whoopi Goldberg type deal, so Patroghost gets sent back down under. They put the fun in funeral by having games and giving out toasters and such as prizes.

Book 24 (The End): After ‘yearning after the might and manfulness of Patroklus’, Achilles continues to roadhaul Hector until Apollo gives his fam a spray about the dishonour of it. Hera says he’s only mortal scum so who gives a fuck and Zeus says chill wife and commands Achilles to RE̵L͘E̡A̷S͢E ̴T́HȨ H̀ȨC̕T̵O̷R͡ (sorry I can’t help it). With Hermes as a bodyguard, Priam (Hector’s dad) goes to get the body back. Achilles and Priam have a man-cry bonding moment over Dead Loved Ones, Hector is whisked off to be buried and there ends the Iliad! There’s none of the ankle-shooting, wooden-horse-building shenanigans in there, they all come in later texts such as the Aeneid and Ovid, although I still can’t find the exact text where Achilles gets shot. If y’all know, send me the link ;)  I fucking found it nvm

Anyhoo, that was…Jeez, that was The Iliad (aka the longest post in existence). Well, my retold, abridged more slightly less serious version.It’s definitely worth a read, if you can get past all the names!

Check out more Greek Stories here :D

[takenews-blog1]

All The Cute Methods Celebrities Announce To The World That They Are Anticipating

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All The Cute Methods Celebrities Announce To The World That They Are Anticipating

On the subject of being pregnant bulletins, celebrities could be identical to us! Some celebrities go excessive with extravagant being pregnant bulletins and child showers. And different occasions they take the understated street, merely posting a constructive being pregnant check and calling it a day. Whichever route they took, one factor is for positive. These celebs made a few of the loveliest being pregnant bulletins ever!

Jessica Alba is rather like the remainder of us. She took to her Instagram to announce child quantity three. She shared a Boomerang video that includes her daughters. The eldest Honor held a black “1” balloon, Haven held a “2” balloon and Jessica held the “three”. As at all times, Jessica and household appeared image excellent. She captioned the lovable publish, “@cash_warren and I are formally going to be outnumbered.” Because the publish, Jessica and household have welcomed a brand new child (the primary boy!) to their household. The candy little man’s title is Hayes, maintaining with the letter “H” custom.

Arising: one other very well-known mother selected the same solution to announce her being pregnant.

In one of the vital long-awaited being pregnant confirmations from a celeb ever, Khloé Kardashian lastly introduced that she was anticipating her first child! For anybody who watched the Kardashians, you already know that Khloé has lengthy desired to have a child of her personal… even when she was beforehand married to distressed husband Lamar Odom. Since then, she has discovered a brand new love with basketball star Tristan Thomas, and the 2 are set to welcome a child collectively in spring 2018. Though Folks journal had beforehand introduced the being pregnant, the truth star had not but confirmed it herself till she posted a phenomenal Instagram shot of her and Tristan’s palms cuddling her rising stomach. Now, if solely little sister Kylie would verify her being pregnant!

Actress Blake Full of life delved into turning into a mini-Martha Stewart together with her life-style web site “The Protect” which she has since deserted. Nonetheless, it was initially on the location that Blake introduced her first being pregnant with actor hubby, Ryan Reynolds. The publish was devoted to all of the “anticipating moms on the market” and showcased Blake in pretty nightfall photograph cradling her child bump. Their first child was a daughter they named James and the 2 later welcomed a second daughter, two years later, named Isis. The couple has been comparatively personal about their youngsters and the world first caught a glimpse of the well-known household on the Ryan’s Hollywood Star Ceremony.

Lovely star Jamie King first bought her begin in Hollywood as a younger mannequin earlier than transferring over into appearing. She has been married to husband, director Kyle Newman, since 2007 they usually welcomed their first youngster collectively in 2013. Nonetheless, Jamie had secretly been fighting endometriosis and polycystic ovary syndrome. This brought on infertility, and he or she suffered by means of 5 miscarriages and one ectopic being pregnant. Finally, she was capable of get pregnant. Because of this it was a very joyful event when she introduced her being pregnant together with her second youngster. She introduced the information by way of Instagram and a cute photograph of her son James holding an indication that mentioned, “I’m gonna be an enormous brother! Who da boss now.”? Her second son Leo Thames was born in July of 2015.

Who tried to one-up the Queen Bey herself? We’ll discover out quickly!

Tamera Mowry, most well-known for her Sister, Sister function alongside her twin Tia, had a really down-to-earth method about asserting her second being pregnant. She additionally took to Instagram to publish a photograph of herself holding a constructive being pregnant check with a shocked look on her face and the caption, “We’re thrilled to announce we’re #ClearblueConfirmed! Can’t wait to satisfy child #2! Love Clearblue’s being pregnant check with Sensible Countdown. It helped me get by means of the wait to get my outcome by counting down with me.” Tamera and her husband Fox Information correspondent Adam Housley welcomed their second youngster, a lady named Ariah, in July of 2015.

Mannequin Chrissy Teigen was very public about her battle with infertility so her followers had been completely overjoyed when she introduced that she was anticipating her first youngster with musician husband John Legend. In October of 2015, Chrissy posted a photograph of herself and John wanting overjoyed with the caption, “John and I are so joyful to announce that we’re pregnant. As a lot of you already know, we’ve been making an attempt to have a child for some time now. It hasn’t been simple, however we saved making an attempt as a result of we are able to’t wait to convey our first youngster into the world and develop our household. We’re so excited that it’s lastly taking place. Thanks for all of your love and effectively needs. I look ahead to all of the stomach touching!” Since welcoming child Luna, who’s now already a rising toddler, Chrissy and John expect a second youngster collectively. Luna was the one to assist announce and Chrissy requested her, “What in my tummy” and Luna replied “child!”

First Daughter, Ivanka Trump selected a quite reserved solution to announce she was anticipating child quantity three. It was really fairly much like Jessica Alba’s announcement however as a substitute of utilizing balloons she used indicators to announce the upcoming arrival of her third youngster. Eldest daughter Arabella held a “1”, Joseph held a “2” and he or she held the “three” over her stomach. Ivanka and husband Jared Kushner welcomed their youngest son, Theodore, in March of 2016. Ivanka has additionally been open about the truth that in spite of everything three of her pregnancies she suffered from post-partum melancholy. She instructed Dr. Oz “It was a really emotional, difficult time for me.”

Actress Olivia Wilde and her longtime love comic and former SNL star Jason Sudeikis have been collectively since 2011. They turned engaged in 2013 and welcomed their first youngster collectively, a son named Otis, in 2014. Based on Olivia, Otis was named after the late nice soul singer Otis Redding. When the time to announce child quantity two got here, she posted a photograph on Instagram saying, “Matching child bumps,” whereas mother-son son duo inspected their burgeoning bellies collectively. The lovable fam welcomed their daughter in October of 2016. Olivia additionally took to Instagram to announce the brand new child saying, “There goes the neighborhood. Daisy Josephine Sudeikis. Born, like a boss, on #internationaldayofthegirl.”

One excited well-known dad-to-be used child books in his cute announcement…

“Supernatural” CW royalty Jensen and Danneel Ackles welcomed their first youngster collectively, a daughter, again in 2013. Nonetheless, they had been in for one heck of journey once they made their second being pregnant announcement in 2016. The couple was anticipating twins! To announce, Danneel posted a brilliant cute photograph to Instagram, posting a photograph of cowboy boots with a pair for every member of the household. One for her, one for Jensen, one for his or her three-year-old daughter, and two tiny boots for the twins! She added the lovable caption, “Including a few pairs of trainers to the household later this yr.” The couple welcomed their twins, a boy and woman named Zeppelin and Arrow, in December of 2016.

The subsequent announcement actually shocked followers!

Oscar-winning actress Anne Hathaway was reported to expect in late 2015, nevertheless, she is notoriously personal and nobody anticipated her to make a public announcement. So she shocked the world when she posted a photograph of her rising child stomach, in a bikini no much less! She took to Instagram to elucidate the out-of-character transfer saying, “So, posting a bikini pic is somewhat out of character for me. However simply now whereas I used to be on the seaside I seen I used to be being photographed. I determine if this sort of photograph goes to be out on the planet it ought to at the least be a picture that makes me joyful (and be one which was taken with my consent. And with a filter:)”. Anne and her husband Adam welcomed a son named Jonathan in March of 2016.

And now for one thing completely different, comic Russell Model took to Instagram to verify the being pregnant of his now-wife Laura Gallacher. The 2 have reportedly been an on-and-off couple since earlier than Russell’s marriage to Katy Perry. Reportedly, youngsters had been really a breaking level in Russell’s earlier marriage. For sure, the expectant dad appeared completely thrilled for his new addition, posting pictures of himself studying up on daddy responsibility. He posted a photograph with the caption, “Proper then. My Mum purchased me this. Time to prepare! #trewlit #bookstagram #parenting.” He held up The Expectant Dad’s Handbook by Dean Beaumont.

Supermodel Behati Prinsloo and her husband, Maroon 5 frontman and Voice Coach star Adam Levine introduced that they had been anticipating their first youngster in March of 2016. Adam posted a photograph of Behati on the pool in a Lakers hat with the caption, “My two favourite Laker followers.” Behati’s second being pregnant announcement got here in the same bikini-clad method. In September of 2017, she took to Instagram to publish of photograph of her rising child stomach with the caption “ROUND 2”. The 2 younger mother and father are positively in for a journey with two tiny tots underneath the age of two!

Actress Katherine Heigl first turned a mother with singer husband Josh Kelly when the 2 adopted their eldest daughter from South Korea. They named the woman Naleigh. Katherine has a sister whom was adopted from South Korea and it was one thing she knew she at all times needed to do. Naleigh had a coronary heart defect and needed to endure open-heart surgical procedure earlier than coming residence to the U.S. The couple then adopted their second daughter, named Adelaide, from the US in 2012. Whereas there was some hypothesis that Katherine couldn’t have youngsters of their very own, she ended up shocking her followers when she shared that she was anticipating a child. She shared a sonogram photograph in June of 2016 and confirmed to the world that she and Josh had been going to be bringing residence a brand new child. This time it was a son.

Singer Ciara publicly endured a tumultuous relationship together with her ex, rapper Future, all through her being pregnant with their son. Finally, the couple break up earlier than the start of their son (2014) and Ciara later discovered love once more. This time it was with clean-cut soccer star, Seattle Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson. The 2 shared their healthful romance over social media and in the end married in July of 2016, in a fortress. In October of 2016, Ciara shared a particular publish of her and Russell with the caption, “On this particular Birthday I obtained an abundance of affection from family and friends.. and I’m excited to Lastly share one of many Biggest Presents of All that God might give…” She accomplished the posted with a child bottle and child emoji, declaring to the world that she was anticipating. The 2 welcomed their first youngster collectively, a daughter in April of 2017.

Subsequent: essentially the most well-known celeb child reveal of all time?

Beyoncé took the Web by storm when she introduced that she and rapper husband Jay-Z had been anticipating twins! All the time recognized to go a bit excessive, Beyoncé posted an out-of-this-world photograph of herself and revealed child bump. She was positively going for a mom earth vibe with a inexperienced veil over her head and a large flowered wreath behind her. She captioned the photograph, “We want to share our love and happiness. We’ve been blessed two occasions over,” she wrote. “We’re extremely grateful that our household will probably be rising by two, and we thanks on your effectively needs.” It was signed, “The Carters”. Beyoncé needed to provide you with some distinctive after revealing her being pregnant with daughter Blue Ivy.

Breaking Dangerous star Aaron Paul has been recognized to publicly swoon over his spouse, Lauren. Earlier within the yr, Aaron mentioned they had been in no rush to start out a household however that he was open to it if it occurred. Nonetheless, as soon as they introduced their being pregnant, he couldn’t appear extra excited. In September of 2017 he took to Instagram to publish a photograph of her holding her child bump. The proud future dad captioned the publish, “Hey everybody. Look what I did. Phrases can’t categorical how excited I’m that this baby has entered our lives. Simply thought it was time I might share this stunning information with all of you.” In the meantime, Lauren additionally posted her personal snap of an ultrasound with a candy message for her baby, “Oh hello!” The 2 are reportedly anticipating a child woman who is about to be due someday in February of 2018.

The home renovation gurus, Chip and Joanna Gaines, are already recognized for his or her down-to-earth Texan methods and their sizable household. However in January of 2018, Chip shared that the household can be rising once more by two little toes. This will probably be their fifth youngster! He shared a cute photograph of himself and spouse Joanna evaluating child bumps with a cheeky look on his face. He captioned the snap, “Trace #three You may recall just a few months again.. the ever superb, ever romantic @JOHNNYSWIM was in Waco. They usually placed on somewhat too romantic of a live performance.. anyhow, one factor led to a different, & we’re formally pregnant. And I couldn’t be extra EXCITED! #5 #7ThePerfectNumber.” After all, it coincided with an episode of their present Fixer Higher, revealing that Joanna’s little sister was additionally anticipating a child (her sixth)!

Comic Chelsea Peretti and her equally hilarious husband Jordan Peele are one dynamic duo. The 2 have each had an enormous quantity of success, Chelsea together with her personal stand-up particular and Jordan as director of the Oscar nominated film Get Out. After all, depart it to this couple to provide you with an understated — however tremendous humorous — solution to announce they had been anticipating their very own little bundle of pleasure. Within the days following Beyoncé’s being pregnant announcement, Chelsea took to twitter to publish her personal photograph of her child bump. Chelsea was inside an mirror artwork set up that appear to have glowing lights round her. She then captioned the photograph, “Beyoncé schmonce.” They welcomed their child boy named Beaumont in July of 2017.

For years, Eva shrugged off rumors of getting a child, nevertheless, she succumbed to stress after turning into a step-mom to her new husband’s José “Pepe” Antonio Bastón’s youngsters. In January of 2018, she confirmed that she and José had been anticipating their first youngster collectively, a son. The affirmation got here within the type of a publish on Instagram with a photograph of her child bump and a set of palms, together with her personal, cradling her bump. She captioned the photograph, “New yr, new adventures! I’m so grateful to my stunning household for giving this new child a lot love already!” We couldn’t think about a greater method for Eva to ring in a brand new yr than with a brand new life!

Blac Chyna and Rob Kardashian had a whirlwind romance that resulted in fixed controversy and drama. When the duo first bought collectively, Rob’s youthful sister Kylie was relationship Tyga, who simply so occurs to be Blac Chyna’s ex-fiance and the daddy of her first youngster. After a lot hypothesis, it was confirmed in Might of 2016 that Blac Chyna and Rob had been anticipating their first youngster collectively. She later confirmed the information on Instagram with an emoji of herself with a bigger child bump, a la Kim Kardashian’s Kimoji. The couple welcomed a daughter, named Dream, in November of 2016. After extra public drama the couple break up for good and now shares custody of Dream.

[theblackestthoughts-blog]

Crown Aint Worth Much

“You think that know about the West Side?” I looked at Quise and couldn’t stop laughing. He always asked the craziest questions. Whether it was in history class, or outside of school. His mind was so abstract. I always loved that about him. “Yo Ron, get your head outta the clouds, I asked you an important ass question!” exclaimed Quise. “Well hold the fuck up and let me give you an important ass answer!” I yelled back. I honestly had to think about it. We had always heard of folks over the bridge, but we’ve never seen them. As far as we knew, they were those the half animal half human creatures from Dr.Moreau. “Well, I would hope so. I mean I live on the West Side. So I’m pretty sure they must have heard a little something about us.” “Ron, if you don’t shut your big head ass up bro! I’m serious. This oratorical contest will be our first time going over the bridge in our whole lives. Don’t you think that’s something?” “Quise, stop worrying about superfluous shit. Bro, as long as you got your words down, everything will fall into place.” “I know bro, I know. I’m just a little scared. What if they don’t like us cuz we’re not from there?” “Bro, if they don’t like us because of where we came from, they aren’t the kind of people we should be wanting to impress.” “That’s true! Wait a damn minute, what did I tell you about using them big ass words again?” said Quise as he began to knock my cap off. “Matter of fact, they have too. Because I went over there before!” I said, remembering the story mom would tell me about how I met my grandparents. “Yeah, but you were a baby.” “I know, but I still went over there. I think my daddy might be there too.” “Well if he is, then we can both kick him in the knees when we see him.” We both laughed and headed back to my house. Honestly, it seemed like we were almost always heading back to my house. Momma and Ricky didn’t mind it. Honestly, I loved having a brother my age. Sometimes I wanted to ask him what happened at his aunt’s that night, but I didn’t want him to relive that shit. What kind of brother would I be if I actually asked him about his problems? I hope yall can tell that I was being sarcastic. That whole year we practiced. Our school only had 3 spots to go to Booke Prep for the finals. We would be competing against the best kids in our area. We knew that we were good. I mean, we made it to the finals. But, we had never heard the other kids go before. What if they knew more words than us? What if they had better clothes? What if they paid the judges off? Shit, everyone knows that the kids over the bridge were filthy rich. We had the hopes of everyone in our school weighing on our backs. It was the night before the competion, and me and Quise couldn’t sleep. I kept trying my best to close my eyes shut, but for some reason, a piercing light was burning them. I looked up, and I saw Quise going over his lines again. “Bro, don’t you know we gotta sleep?” “I know bro, I know. But I really need to win this.” “Bro, I’m trying to win this too.” “No bro, for me it’s different. I don’t have a family. I never knew my dad. My mom is out with God knows who. And I can’t go back with my aunt and them.” “I know bro. But my family is your family. You don’t have to win this to prove that to us. It’s not like you were going to beat me anyway.” As soon as I said that, I wished I could’ve taken it back. “You don’t think I know that bro? I know yall have love for me. And I know you’re better with big words. That’s why I’m writing a new poem.” “So you’re writing a poem the night before? How is that gonna give you a better chance bro?” “Bro, just trust me okay. Me and Ricky have been working on ideas for it for a little bit.” “Nigga you and Ricky? That nigga don’t even talk to me!” “I know bro, he used to didn’t talk to me too. But I showed him some my ideas and he said they were dope.” “Bro, you’re supposed to be my brother! What kind of shit is this?” “Bro, I didn’t know it was gonna be a big deal like this.” “It is tho. You know I don’t like him. If I don’t like him, you don’t either!” “That’s not really fair bro. I can have friends outside of you. Shit, he’s your brother. You should give him a chance.” “This conversation is over!” I said as I buried my face into my pillows. I couldn’t tell him what I saw that night. I couldn’t tell him that on the way to pick him up from his aunt’s house I saw Ricky selling drugs to his mom. He wouldn’t want to hear that. He was still telling the kids at school that she had moved out west and was looking for a place for them to move to. He wouldn’t want to know that his new “hero” was selling his mom poison. In the morning, mom had left our outfits on the couch in the living room. We stepped into our makeshift suits and were proud. Fine, the blazers had more patches than a girl scout. And we could the pants used to be blue, but now they were an almost ash grey. But it was all my mom could put together. As we were stepping out, Ricky stopped us. “Yall better not wear them ashy ass clothes. Here, take them off and wear these.” he said throwing a bag of clothes on the same couch. Quise ran over to the bag like Santa himself had dropped it down the chimney. And in a flash, he was dressed like what the Booke Prep kids might be wearing. “Hurry up and change Ron-Ron, yall gonna be late.” I put on the new clothes, but they didn’t feel right. I still felt dirty. We were probably walking around wearing something Quise’s mom paid for. But we had to look nice for the contest. “You think mom is gonna be mad?” “Why the hell would she be mad? Just hang the other clothes up in your closet, and she won’t have nothing to say.” I took both hangers and ran up the steps. I put the clothes in the closet, and on my way back down, I noticed that Ricky had left his room door unlocked. That could’ve been my chance to see what was in there. But, me and Quise were late enough. The walk to the bridge had never seemed too long. Most days, it was like a 10 minute, tops. But maybe the anticipation was getting to us. We were also wearing new shoes Ricky got us with his drug dealing money that we didn’t want to mess up. As we finally got over the bridge, it was easy to see that these folks didn’t live like us. The houses and the stores actually looked nice. There was barely any trash on the ground. And all of the people who would either try to sell us drugs or “the oils” were replaced with Christians trying to sell us their God. We thought there was a chance we got lost when we made it to the gates of the school. Not only was there a gate, but there was a huge intercom. We looked at the surroundings of the school and saw cameras almost everywhere. It was like we were in some sort of hi tech prison. “Are you guys here for the contest?” asked the voice from the intercom. “Well come right in.” the warm voice greeted. We followed the arrows that lead us to an auditorium, and we were given our numbers. And now, we waited. I tried my best not to pay attention to everyone else’s performances. But they were all amazing. And soon, it was Quise’s turn. I was worried. I wasn’t sure if he had gotten all the words down to his new poem, because he never shared it with me. But it was too late to try to help him now. Quise: Home Is where the heart is Well for me, it was where the hate was Cuz every time I stepped into the doors Niggas said “hey cuz” They knew what was happening when I went upstairs But they were so happy it wasn’t them So I couldn’t pay them to care The first time she touched me, she said that it was innocent The next time she touched me, she took my fucking innocence Etched into my mind, those memories won’t fade, they’re permanent And I used to fake a crooked smile I really used to play pretend I thought that if I let it happen once it wouldn’t happen again.. But it did And that made realize that with you, I wasn’t home Home is begging Ricky to hear your unfinished poems Home is your new mom giving you every ounce of love your bio fam couldn’t Home is you brother choosing to sleep on the floor with you instead of in his bed Home is the West Side Home is being surround by folks who really love me Home is staying up late writing poems with my best friend in the world All of those things? Yup that’s what home is to me The crowd erupted in applause. But I couldn’t. I hadn’t realized that my brother was going through some shit like that. I was really a fuck up. I was too busy being jealous of him and Ricky getting close, too busy trying to be the best at everything, and too busy not being a real friend to notice. I was just as bad as his aunt. As he stepped off the stage, he gave me a hug. And again, I felt dirty. I didn’t even feel like I deserved to be there. I was supposed to have Quise’s back. And I had let my big ass head get in the way of that. By the time they had called my name, I had decided I was going to choke. I mean I had to. Quise had to win. He had to let the world know that his voice mattered, and he had found his home. I stepped on the stage, and I saw Him. I hadn’t seen him in years. But, I could feel it. At the back of the auditorium was Ronald Jennings III, or as my mom would refer to him, “My No Good Rotten Ass Daddy”. He must really have lived just over the bridge all this time. I was excited. This meant that I had to do my best. And then in came his new family. I felt like the same scared little kid all over again. The same pain I felt when he left rushed all over me. I had felt weak. It felt like I had crossed the bridge for nothing. But I couldn’t let that happen. I thought of the words to the poem, but they didn’t seem to feel right anymore. I had to make a new one, even if that meant I messed up. Hmmmmm Here you are In this room Looking just like yourself A sorry excuse for a person A sorry excuse for a man A sorry excuse of… Matter of fact, I can’t even go there with you, because half of you is me You see, without you I’ve grown I stopped crying to mom asking when you were gonna come back I stopped trying to achieve well in school to make you proud Because you know what, I realized I can just do that for myself I am not that scared little west side boy anymore That’s what you wanted me to say right? I know exactly why you left You were afraid You didn’t want to be a father so young, so you ran away from your family You left us to starve And now I can finally look you in the face and say Thanks! Thanks for not being a part of my life Cuz I’d be damned if I had a man like you for a father And with that I walked off stage. The rest of the night seemed like a blur. But me and Quise walked home with our trophies proudly. What place we scored? It didn’t matter, cuz a crown aint worth much. What mattered is that we stood for what we believed in. We stood for our home. West Side forever!

[mauridianhallow]

how was your day off? what did you do?

Oh. My. God. My Day Off™ (as we shall be referring to it) was AWESOME! Mediocre in some regards, but we must remember it is not the extravagance of the act but the freedom to act itself that made my Day Off™ so good, and why I have been looking forward to it for weeks! This is gonna be a long one, because I am so excited to talk about it, so strap in friends. Let’s go! We shall begin, as all stories must, at the beginning. Saturday 18th of November. 12:30AM. I have just finished work, my cousin’s funeral had been on the Friday, and I had been working in my family’s pub at the wake, (big Irish Catholic fam, take the stereotypes and multiply them by a random number, you’re probably right) and after finishing cleaning and making sure my bar is absolutely spotless, my aunt and I finally locked up. It was now, officially, my Day Off™. The first thing I did was crack open a beer. A Miller’s. I’m not usually a fan of American beer (because in all seriousness most of it is catpiss) but this? This beer? This beer which I was able to sit in my kitchen, speaking to friends, and just Enjoy™? It was the second best tasting beer I have ever tasted. I went upstairs, having informed the world through Snapchat that for the next 24 hours, I was free, and just stripped off. I just got to stand there, had a look at the scars on my back, my leg muscles, the bruises and cuts on my arms. Life. I realise I’m always rushing about, always from one thing to the next, sometimes that takes a tole on your body and while that’s nothing to be ashamed of, as I stood there naked I decided that sometimes I was a little hard on my body, the only one I’ll ever have, and I’m gonna look after it a little. After all, it’s my body’s Day Off™ as well. I ran a bath, I don’t usually get a chance for a bath, but my aching muscles needed it. One of my best friends, Carol, works in Lush and for my birthday a few months back she got me a bath bomb, so it seemed I was going all out this evening. It was 1:15AM. The bath was heavenly. I got to take care of myself, my body, my spirit felt rejuvenated, I got an opportunity to shave for the first time in a while, and when I stood up to get out of my bath, I felt prepared for the coming day. Just as I went to enter my bedroom, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror in the spare room, it wasn’t the same body that went in, it truly looked relaxed. It felt it too. 1:45AM. I’m still 100% awake, I’ve had a coffee and I decide to catch up on some shows I’ve not had the opportunity to see because of life. The latest episodes of Flash and Arrow, I’m excited for the 2 night crossover event and put the date in my planner. I switch to Designated Survivor, a show on Netflix that I’ve become addicted too and although it’s very “feel good, good guy always wins, moral of the story is...” kinda show, there’s nothing wrong with that. I love it! It’s about 4AM now, some sleepiness has started to come over me, my eye lids are getting a little heavier and I know I’ll be sleeping soon. I give myself a long sleep when I set my alarm, for about 11AM, because I deserve it. Why not, eh! The sleep was perfect, I had wonderful dreams about my friends, about the Reading and Leeds Festival during the summer, and when I woke up it was naturally with no alarm blaring, no one knocking on my door reminding me I have responsibilities. It was 10:45AM. I get up, stretch and go make myself some breakfast, no one is home (and won’t be until 7PM) so I don’t bother even dressing. There’s something strangely liberating about being able to wake up, walk downstairs, make and eat breakfast naked. But I’ll move on, I’m sure no one wants to hear about THAT hahah! When I’m deciding what to wear for heading into Glasgow, I pass over the darker colours of my wardrobe, no greys or blacks today, no today I want to walk down the street and feel awesome! I settle for my blue tight-fit gym t-shirt, my red tartan (plaid?) shirt to go over it, blue jeans and a pair of nice brown winter boots I bought a while back and never really had the chance to wear. I’m wearing my expensive underwear, it’s comfy and I feel great. To cap it all off, my blue double breasted long coat, the very same one I wore when I was 17 and walked into my last year of High School. I have a special connection with this coat, and I always feel great wearing it! I pack my bag, not of study material for today I refuse to study, but with my notebook and planner, a book I haven’t had the chance to finish in months, some snacks and a can of Arizona Green Tea. I wrap my scarf tightly around my neck and I walk out into the world! I catch the 11:21AM train into Glasgow, I’m going to get my phone screen repaired but I’m not worried. I’m messaging Chelsea, we’ve been talking a lot more recently and I like it. She tells me she’s working today, in Glasgow and I make a note of the time. If I get a chance I’ll pop in a say hello, if only briefly because I know she’ll be busy. I still feel great! It’s about 12PM that I finally get into the City, walking past the Counting House in George Square, I decide to jump in for a quick pint. I know there’s football on today so the place is packed. I only stayed for 30 minutes but I reminded myself I wasn’t jumping from one thing to the next today, I was under no obligation to hurry. It felt nice. When I reached the Apple Store, I entered into its clinical environment reminded of how cut off this place is from the rest of the world. I hand my phone in, they quote me a time of around 4/5PM, and when I leave I feel strange. I really am so used to having my phone in my pocket, I fidget with it a lot, I feel slightly cut off and while there’s a brief moment of anxiety, it soon passes. The world in mine today. I visit some shops, most are preparing for Christmas time and all look beautiful. I have about 3 hours to kill, to do what I want. As I’m passing by the Stairs at the Buchanan Galleries Concert Hall (if you’ve ever been in Glasgow you’ll know the ones) and am hit with a sudden wave of nostalgia. I’ve had so many good memories here; shopping trips with my parents as a kid, summer days as a teen, first kisses, teenage crushes, political rallies, moments of pure peace and moments of excitement! I’ll be truly sad when they are gone to make way for something else but I smile as I head to the cinema. There’s only one thing for it today, Justice League! I’ve been so excited for this! I can’t wait to see my childhood heroes come together, I haven’t been this excited for a superhero team up film since the Avengers all those years ago! I pass by the machines that let you book tickets immediately, and go to stand in line. Not because I don’t want to use the machines, but because I very rarely get to go through the excitement of the cinema experience. Standing in line, buying a ticket, talking with the people and what they think of the film. Again, it’s the freedom to do it that I am enjoying! It’s about 1:20PM. The film is beautiful, so fantastic, and while this blog post isn’t a film review, I will definitely recommend it! If someone had told little 12 year old me that one day I would be seeing live action adaptations of my heroes, he would’ve cried probably. A slight tear did in fact gather, more of nostalgia than anything else, for the innocence of childhood and how I really do need to remind myself to enjoy the little things more. When I leave the film, the wind and cold hit me but I’m smiling and very happy! I jump into the Apple Store to check how the phone is coming along and they say about half an hour until it’s finished. I thanked the lady and decided I have time to jump in to Chelsea’s work, say hello, and grab a coffee. I just hope it’s not too busy! When I walked in the door I managed to get a look at her without her spotting me. She was so excited to get this job, and I can definitely see why! She seems in her element, and happy! We speak briefly, joke a little, I pick up my coffee and go sit in the corner. I’m in no rush. I bring out the book I’ve been reading throughout the day in the small moments I get between things, and finish a couple chapters, I’m so close to the end! My coffee tasted great, extra caramel, whip cream and all! Just as I check my watch for the time I see it’s 4:15PM, but because I promised myself there would be no rushing today, I stay seated. My drink isn’t finished, and I’m enjoying my book. I give it another 10 minutes and as I go to leave I try to say goodbye to Chelsea, although the shop is quite busy now and I’m not sure she heard me. No worries though! I do make a promise to try and see her more often, maybe we could do something around Christmas time, but I put it from my head and leave to pick up my phone. I am content. The people at Apple were very nice, I had expected to be paying upwards of £100 for this new screen, but I was told that I was under warranty and it wouldn’t cost me a penny! I am elated! This day just gets better and better and better! I check my watch and see it’s about 4:25PM, and start walking to High Street. There’s music in my ears, memories of a good day in my head and happiness in my heart! I could have went to Queen Street, it’s closer but as I say again, it wasn’t the need to hurry that was driving me today, but the choice to relax and enjoy myself. The walk was very nice, the train journey nicer. I managed to finish my book, and while we all know the emotions around finishing a book you’ve been trying to read for months, I was very very happy. I used the train WiFi to but some Christmas presents for my niece and nephew, and when I got home, into the heat, there was no collapse of exhaustion. No falling onto my bed dramatically, I got into my pyjamas and jumped into bed. A quick nap, I deserved it. When I wake, it’s about 8PM, I’m rested and feel hungry and decide I don’t want to cook tonight, I’m going to treat myself to a pizza takeaway! I spend the rest of the night talking to friends, messaging Chelsea, eating and playing some of the new Assassin’s Creed. I can’t remember what time I went to sleep, because I didn’t need to worry about it. The day ended with complete contentment, my heart felt light and my head cleared. My Day Off™ had been perfect. Did I do much? Maybe not. But everything I did do was because I COULD! Let’s look at it like this; I slept late, got my phone fixed, did some Christmas shopping, saw a film I’ve been excited about for a long time, saw a girl I hadn’t seen in months, had great coffee, ate great food, napped out of deserving not out of exhaustion, played some video games, and fell asleep at a time I didn’t need to worry about. No studying. No work. No responsibilities. Perfect. And that my friends is the very long story of my Day Off™. It was one of the best days I’ve had in a long time. I hope I get another some point soon. Thank you for asking Anon, that was very nice of you. I just woke up about 20 minutes ago, it’s 8:18AM, Sunday 19th of November. It’s no longer my Day Off™. And life is good.

[wearethegoodlife]

TheGoodLife! “Camp Nice” 2017 – Super Re-Cap Extravaganza!

Have you ever wished you could go back to some of the experiences of your youth but in your adult body with all the wisdom and sense of self you’ve acquired since? We have too. And as firm believers that anything is possible, we’ve taken it a step further and turned that wish into a reality! Welcome to Camp Nice, the ultimate summer camp for adults! What started as an idea for a little camp excursion for the autumnal equinox has evolved over the past four years into a one of a kind communal adventure for family and friends of TheGoodLife! This year was far and beyond the most epic Camp Nice yet! Moving to a new location nestled in the foothills of the Catskill Mountains along the Great Appalachian Valley, Camp Nice 2017 was a private wilderness paradise that included a lake and fleet of boats, miles of hiking terrain, an archery range, an arts & crafts hut, even a haunted cabin in the woods! On top of that there were literally acres of available camping zones, a central cabin village, and both bathing and kitchen facilities meaning campers could go as camp or as glamp as they wanted, no judgement here! If that wasn’t enough, we had the generous support of Burton Snowboards, Cutty Sark Whisky, ABK Beer, and Unreal Snacks, who all contributed in major ways to amplify the Camp Nice experience. From Burton providing extensive camping equipment from their collection with Big Agnes to Cutty Sark throwing a multi-course “Pioneer Dinner” cooked over the fire to ABK keeping Camp Nice hydrated with beer for a week to Unreal Snacks hooking up the best s’mores this side of the Mississippi, this years sponsors were next level. And so were the campers. Representing the wide diversity of TheGoodLife! Fam, 2017’s crop of campers were a radical group of artists, musicians, photographers, models, writers, chefs, activists, and athletes, whose collective creative energy was unmatched. Needless to say, we created some beyond epic experiences! Please settle in and get ready for some major camp vibes as we present the Camp Nice Super Re-Cap Extravaganza! All film photography by Craig Wetherby. Words by Tim Brodhagen. Can’t wait for next year!!

Calling all campers…

Yung Sig was one of the first to arrive…

And she got settled in pretty nice at her lakeside tent zone in the Burton x Big Agnes classic!

Next up was Akira & Amaya…

Our new camp mascot Hubert the Heron swooped on by for a sunset welcome…

While Siggy earned the first Boating Badge!

Akira & Amaya got right on Fire Badge duty as soon as the sun set…

Fire Badge EARNED!

Welcome to CAMP NICE! We have arrived!!

The ambitious duo were up bright and early to earn their Fishing Badges!

Captain Blue was there at weigh in to make sure they had some keepers!

Blue popped up the Red Hook Snack Bar and got his Grill Master Badge on with the quickness!

Tono was enjoying the goodness!

Becky, Bree & Cass got theirs!

And so did Rata…YUM!

You know Pat wasn’t sleeping on this either.

Then it was time to start smoking the meat for the Cutty Sark Pioneer Grill!

YUP! Very official!

And might as well add some ABK Beer to the mix!

We were definitely STOCKED UP!

Plenty of Cutty to go around too!

As we got into the night the drinks started flowing!

Blue was focused!

But it was well worth the wait! We all eat right at Camp Nice!

Very NICE!

Thanks to John & Jennifer for getting down with us!

Oscar the Owl was feeling the Cutty merch too!

Now it was S’Mores time! And our friends at Unreal came thru with the healthy vegan goodness!

WHOA!!!

S’MORE PLEASE!!

Toasted bagels were definitely on the breakfast menu!

Our library got a nice upgrade this year with Ricky Powell’s latest creation The Individualist! Thank you!

Yup! Even The Lazy Hustler came thru this year!

Next up was Arts & Crafts time with some custom Camp Nice screen printing with Tono!

Heather whipped up a nice one!

Everyone got their tie dye on!

Blotto got busy!

These guys were earning all the badges!

Erika was a pro!

Chenoah got crafty with it too! Thank you Cass!

Petey aka DJ Smoke L.E.S. was in the house!

Joe’s Pizza!

Arts & Crafts Badges for all!

All the colors were definitely pretty trippy…

Now it was time to earn some Archery Badges with Coach Becky!

These guys were on another level!

Hannah was a sharp shooter..

And so was Timbo!

Emma was pretty on point!

Blotto had that eagle eye!

It was unseasonably hot out so we had to get back in the water! Hannah couldn’t wait!

Siggy & Sable were ready to go!

Chenoah was down too!

Cass was doing it right!

Even tho Pat was trying to harsh her mellow…

Looked very refreshing!

  After some fun in the sun it was time start chilling hard in the hammock. Hannah earned her Rigging Badge!

Pat didn’t waste any time…after all he had a very chillactive day!

Cass was down too!

Catch of the Day!

Paella Time!

Thats right…

OOOF!

Sunsets were proper!

Moonsets were better!

But Becky’s Dutch Oven Peach Cobbler was even better…

Becky is kinda the BEST if you haven’t heard…

She’s always down for an adventure…

FEARLESS!

Siggy & Sable are pretty badass too!

YEAHERRR!!!

Cass got higher than most…

Emma earned style points…

TJ dropped in!

Sable got her eagle on!

Too much fun ! ! !

Sebas was a natural!

Aimz was glowing with joy!

Teamwork makes the dream work! Especially when wearing Pats Pants!!

But wait…Back to Becky…She even shoots arrows in a kimono!!

WINNING AT LIFE!

Miranda stays WINNING!

And so does Erika!

TJ was winning too!

Jesse thought he had the advantage with his non-regulation sharp shooter specs on but got disqualified…

TJ clinched the big WIN!

Archery Badge EARNED!

After a rough day at the archery range The Zen Brothers got their midnight lakeside set crackin!

Next morning Amie was first one to step up to get her Fire Badge…

EARNED!!

George liked to sleep late…

Rise & Shine!

Mermaid Badges were waiting to be earned…

Siggy earned hers!

Now time to earn some more Boating Badges…right after this quick photo shoot tho! Brian was getting it in!

Chenoah earned her Boating Badge…

So did Pat & Cass…

All the pups were trying to earn their Boating Badges too!

They were out in full force!

Ranger Larry even took our camp kitty out for a cruise! Willy B just wanted some fish!!

Boating Badge EARNED!

Now time to chill…

Or keep earning more badges…

Nothing gets by Sig Nasty! Gaming Badge EARNED!

TheGoodLife! FC was representing at Camp Nice!

Miranda’s been down since day one!

Willy B knows whats up!

Bree luvs the pups…

Mo loves everyone!

And Willy B loves hunting for chipmunks!

Miranda loves knitting!

Amaya was all love!

Sam is lovely…

Camp Nice is for lovers…

No haters allowed! G-O-O-D-L-I-F-E-!

It was the chillest of chill…

NAMASTE!

And all that good shit…

Speaking of good shit…EDAN brought those records of warmth for our enjoyment…

Ricky was digging the selections!

And EDAN stayed digging for those gems!

Life was lovely!

Blotto’s breakfast tacos were lovely too!

And so is Bree…

Willy gets all the lovin…

Ricky wasn’t mad…

Saftey First says the Substitute Lifeguard…

No worries here…

Blue kept on reeling ’em in!

Pat was just cruizin…

Fun activities for everyone!

Who’s got next??

Still got game…

The Pasta Queens came ready to ball!

Sam got an ill jumpshot!

And they didn’t play around in the kitchen either…

Pasta for everyone! Cooking Badge EARNED!

BOOM!!

More S’Mores!

Best dessert ever!

Then things got LIT!

The tunes were perfect! The Dardy’s came thru!

Then it was time to go find the haunted cabin!

Things started to get weird!

We all needed a hug after that experience…

The freaks definitely come out at night!

The rest of the VT Crew finally joined us and Ranger Larry was there with the warm welcome.

Matt Kruz of the Gnarmads rode his bike up from NYC to join in the festivities! Beer Badge EARNED!!

Ricky definitely earned his Beer Badge too!

Pat shredded every obstacle he found!

And The Dardy’s were showing off their skills too!

Jozie brought her A-Game!

Amanda had a mean shot too!

Back down at the lake water sports were in full effect!

It was popping!

Spirits were definitely high!

Blue was in the zone!

We eat what we catch!

And then we play!

Horseshoe Champs!

Gaming Badge EARNED!

Fireside Stick & Poke…Arts & crafts Badge EARNED!

Mermaid Badge EARNED!

We couldn’t ask for a nicer night! The moon set over the lake was EPIC!

As the morning approached the fog slowly rolled in…

It was pretty eerie but beautiful…

Misty Mornings

Pat was losing his grip…

Emel was in rare form…

Chenoah, The High Priestess, was taking it all in…

Break Night Badge EARNED!

Farnum showed up and decided to move right in! Camp Nice for LIFE!

It wasn’t bad at all…

We weren’t quite ready to leave just yet…

So we grabbed our trusty cruisers and headed down for a final wood run! Thank you Shimano Bike NYC!

It was all downhill from here…

Woodsman Squad!

Everyone pitched in…

Ranger Larry put in some quality time but had to break out….

One last paddle around the lake to say peace to our homie Hubert…

Really gonna miss these Strawberry Sunsets…

And we OUT!

Final catch!

Not to shabby!

Blue was happy!

Set them free…

Last light!

Camp Nice was exceptionally nice this year…

All our hard work definitely paid off but it was now time to finally say goodbye…

Major THANK YOU to all those who supported and survived CAMP NICE! Til next year…

[ubermelon]

I’m going to a tag because I am bored

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

If you mean an actual text then no. If you mean just a message then yes

2. You talked to an ex today, correct?

Nope

3. Have you taken someones virginity?

Yes

4. Is trust a big issue for you?

I guess. Though it hasn’t ever come up

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?

Yes

6. What are you excited for?

My birthday

7. What happened tonight?

I went bed shopping

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?

I mean whenever anyone gets super wasted it can be a bit of a turn off. Disgusting si a strong word though.

9. Is confidence cute?

It can be as long as it doesn’t turn into arrogance.

10. What is the last beverage you had?

A can of Fanta

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?

Lots

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?

I actually don’t anymore

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?

It is my birthday. So I am going for a meal with the fam

14. What are you going to spend money on next?

Probably something stupid like food I don’t need to buy. Or alcohol

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?

No

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?

Probably

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

Hmm I don’t know. Probably my friend Lydia. She is one of those people who you won’t hear from for like a year so she isn’t really involved in my life nor I in her’s. But when we catch up we tell each other everything. Literally everything.

18. The last time you felt broken?

Probably like 2 weeks ago

19. Have you had sex today?

Nope

20. Are you starting to realize anything?

I don’t think so

21. Are you in a good mood?

Currently in an ok mood

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?

No I don’t see the appeal

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?

I can’t be bothered to check but I think so???

24. What do you want right this second?

I want to watch B99

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?

Probably nothing

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?

Yes

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?

It would be hard

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?

That weird Peter Pan goes wrong pantomime (it’s not a pantomime) 

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?

A few people

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?

No one deserves one because it is on you to give them one. If you can’t then you shouldn’t. But if you can and want to then you should. The person hurt decides.

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?

No he is a good friend

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?

Yeah

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?

I drank some like 30 minutes ago

34. Listening to?

Nothing currently. I listened to some We Are Artist earlier

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?

I don’t think I own one

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?

Yes

37. Do you believe in love at first sight?

I don’t think that is love but attraction

38. Who did you last call?

Rhiannon I think?? Trying to work out want chocolate see wanted

39. Who was the last person you danced with?

Not sure. Maybe Tash at New Year’s.

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?

We were both drunk and it was New Years

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?

So long ago

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?

Hugged my mum

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?

Many times

44. Do you tan in the nude?

No

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?

No

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?

No

47. Who was the last person to call you?

Rhiannon

48. Do you sing in the shower?

All the time

49. Do you dance in the car?

If I am not driving yeah

50. Ever used a bow and arrow?

Once I think. When I was really young

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?

A professional one? I don’t know

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?

Depends on the musical.

53. Is Christmas stressful?

It can be

54. Ever eat a pierogi?

No

55. Favorite type of fruit pie?

Plum

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?

Zookeeper

57. Do you believe in ghosts?

No

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?

Yes

59. Take a vitamin daily?

No

60. Wear slippers?

No

61. Wear a bath robe?

No

62. What do you wear to bed?

Either PJ bottoms or nothing

63. First concert?

Feeder

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?

None of the above.

65. Nike or Adidas?

Last shoes where Nike

66. Cheetos Or Fritos?

Cheetos

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?

Peanuts

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?

Not sure I have one but there are a few I like

69. Ever take dance lessons?

No

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?

I don’t think so

71. Can you curl your tongue?

Yes

72. Ever won a spelling bee?

Never participated

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?

No

74. What is your favorite book?

I don’t think I have one

75. Do you study better with or without music?

Depends on the studying but normally with

76. Regularly burn incense?

No

77. Ever been in love?

Yeah

78. Who would you like to see in concert?

Not a big fan of concerts

79. What was the last concert you saw?

Feeder. You asked this already

80. Hot tea or cold tea?

Hot tea??

81. Tea or coffee?

Tea

82. Favorite type of cookie?

Choc chip

83. Can you swim well?

Average. I am not winning any medals

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?

Underwater? I haven’t tried

85. Are you patient?

No

86. DJ or band, at a wedding?

DJ

87. Ever won a contest?

A few

88. Ever have plastic surgery?

No

89. Which are better black or green olives?

Neither

90. Opinions on sex before marriage?

It would be hypocritical for me to be against it. Honestly, that is the business of the people involved. If both parties are comfortable then I see no problem.

91. Best room for a fireplace?

Not a fan of fireplaces

92. Do you want to get married?

Not sure