#and you have 4 - 5 hours of awake time at home maximum

[spiribia]

the most salient issue with MMORPGs is that there is never enough time to play them in this world

[zombiefiilm]

It’s Cold Out Here

Spencer Reid x fem!reader

summary: spencer reid has just the plan to keep you warm in the car while you wait for a suspect

warnings: some mentioned with the unsub, classic cm type violence mentioned, no use of y/n, nsfw - 18+ only, making out, car sex(ish?), fingering, handjob, male oral, getting interrupted

word count: 2.1k

When you agreed to wait outside the suspected unsub's house with Spencer Reid, you did not expect it to turn into a several-hour stakeout.

You had pulled up just around the corner from the old house that looked like it was rotting from the inside out, with a perfect view of the front porch from where your black car sat, expecting the man who lived inside to leave the house to find his next victim and allow you to follow him.

His victims were all over the place, young and old, men and women, various financial status'. It just hadn't made any sense from the start and there was barely any bones to the profile at all, the only thing you all knew was that he was a man, likely between the ages of 30 and 45, who had a comprehensive knowledge of the human body and that he was somehow able to take his victims from public places in broad daylight. There didn't seem to be any sexual behaviour in these killings, the unsub killing each victim with a single gunshot to the head and cleanly taking out a different organ from each victim.

The only reason you even had a suspect in the first place was two witnesses stating that they had seen a blue Volvo Sedan that seemed to have driven off in a hurry from the locations the victims were being taken from at a similar time. Thankfully, one of the witness statements had included a partial plate, which Garcia was easily able to track down.

Prentiss and Reid had knocked on the front door earlier in the day, hoping to talk to the unsub with the premiss of him being a witness, but to no avail, the door never opened and with every curtain drawn, they had no visual of inside the home either.

Eventually, the plan had become to wait out the unsub, to follow him and pounce once there was any sign of suspicious behaviour, but it was taking significantly longer than expected.

Since the BAU had landed in Missouri, the unsub hadn't made a single move. While it was fortunate that there had been no more victims, it made it quite hard for you to get closer to finding out who he was. Through his patterns though, you were hoping that tonight would be the time for him to find his next victim.

You had gotten to your spot at around 4pm, Spencer driving and you in the passenger seat, and the blue car was still parked in the driveway. You set yourself up, expecting to be waiting for 4 or 5 hours maximum, but as the clock hit 11pm, alongside the command of staying at your 'stakeout' spot until someone walked out of that front door, you knew you were going to be in for the long haul.

Armed with a box of ritz crackers and beef jerky, you both indulged in the most depressing meal you had in a while.

"One of us should try get some sleep and the other can stay awake and watch, just so we're not both out of our minds tired tomorrow" you told Spencer, wrapping your jacket tightly around yourself, attempting to battle the cold air in the car.

"You can sleep first, I want to read through the files again, see if we've missed anything" he brushed a stray hair out of his face as he reached around to the back seat and grabbed one of the thick folders.

"Alright" you replied, tilting your seat back as far as it could go and wrapping your arms around yourself. "Wake me up in an hour".

"Got it"

"Night Reid" you closed your eyes, desperate to get some rest.

"Night".

You weren't sure how long you had been asleep, but you woke yourself up with your own shivering. The car had somehow gotten even colder in the time you were out. You groggily rubbed your eyes, turning around to see Reid engrossed by what he was reading.

"How long was I asleep?" you sat up, still shivering.

Spencer looked over at you, and then down at his watch. "About two hours".

"I told you to wake me up" you hit his shoulder, "you need to sleep too".

"I'm fine, plus you've been complaining about not sleeping well since we got here, you needed it"

You smiled at him, a little giddy over the fact that he was showing how much he cared about you.

You sat up fully now, taking another folder from the back of the car and opening it up. You knew you wouldn't be able to get back to sleep and there was no point in trying.

As time passed, you hadn't even noticed that your teeth had started clattering with the cold.

"Are you okay?" Spencer asked, putting down the papers in front of him. "You've been shivering for a while".

"Yeah, just really cold" you answered simply, glancing up at the house again to see nothing had changed.

"You can have my jacket" he quickly shrugged it off "I run hot".

"Are you sure? I don't want you to be cold either"

Without answering, he just leant over the centre console, and wrapped his jacket around your shoulders but stopped when his face was right in front of yours.

It felt like an eternity where you both looked into each other's eyes without a single word. Right as he went to sit back in his seat though, you grabbed his arm to stop him. You weren't even sure what your plan was but you just knew you wanted him to stay that close.

Neither of you were unfamiliar with looking at each other like that. with longing looks across the office and always sitting across from each other on the jet, it was quite clear to everyone on the team that you both felt like more that coworkers.

"I do know another way to warm you up" he gave you a bashful smile, looking anywhere but your face.

"And what's that?" you whispered, the words almost getting stuck in your throat.

He briefly looked into your eyes, and then down to your lips. You took that as your sign to lean in, gently pressing your lips to his. He almost seemed taken aback, but he quickly kissed you back, opening his mouth and slipping his tongue into your mouth.

The kiss was gentle, warming, as his hand slowly trailed from your knee up to your inner thigh. You wouldn't have expected him to be this forward, but before you knew it, his large hand was resting right over your heat, through your jeans.

He broke away from the kiss, both of you panting lightly "Is this okay?" his question was genuine as he waited for your okay before doing anything.

"Yes Spencer, please, please touch me" you hadn't expected yourself to be so desperate but the thought of his slender hands down your pants had you squirming in your seat.

The smirk that planted on his face at your desperation would be stuck in your head forever. He quickly unbuttoned your jeans and helped you tug them down to your mid thigh, quickly followed by your underwear.

The moment he saw your cunt, he practically moaned to himself, making quick moves to touch you. His fingers slowly gathered up the slick from your slit before his finger gently caught on your clit, making you jolt.

"God, you're so wet already" he whispered to himself, lifting his finger up to the light to get a good look at your juice on him. He moved his hand back down again, this time gently circling your clit.

His movements had you falling into him already, long forgetting about the freezing temperature of the car, your head resting on his shoulder as his finger travelled down to your hole.

He slowly slid his finger inside and you gasped quietly, the way you were already clenching around the single digit had Spencer rutting into the console he was leaning over.

Pumping in and out of you, he quickly added a second finger. You couldn't help but moan in his ear, your attempts to keep quiet waning as he began to curl his fingers, hitting your g-spot right on.

"H- holy shit Spence" you whined, as his fingers perfectly moved against your spongey walls. With your verbal reassurance spurring him on to please you more, he began to circle your clit with his thumb, in time with his quickening thrusts of his fingers.

All of his moves seemed thought out and calculated, like he was studying every single one of your reactions. He pressed his lips against yours once again, his tongue licking into your slack mouth in time with the movements of his hands.

It only took a few minutes before you were a mess, gentle whimpers slipping from your lips, your hips desperately jerking against his hand, desperate for your release, your hands gripping onto his forearms for stability.

As soon as he added a third finger, you knew you were done for. You squirmed in his hold as his fingers sped up, the slick sounds of your cunt filling the humid car as the coil in your stomach tightened.

"God- Fuck Spence, please, I'm gonna"

"Go on, cum for me, please" he groaned, his thumb circled faster around your clit as he pressed his own hips harder against the car, desperate for some form of release.

It was as if your body obeyed his words, seeing white as the pressure in your stomach released.

Your hips jerked into his hand as you came down from the high, Spencer's fingers still pumping in and out of you to help you ride out your orgasm.

Once you finally came down, you feverishly kissed Spencer, desperate to taste him again. You whined into his mouth as he pulled his fingers out of you, quickly missing the feeling of being so full.

As you separated again, Spencer placed his fingers in your mouth, making you taste yourself on his fingers. Once you licked his fingers clean, he pulled his hand back and kissed you again.

"God, you taste so good" he muttered, sloppily kissing you. It was then you noticed his shifting, desperate for stimulation on his cock.

"Let me help you now" you pushed him back into his seat, palming the crotch of his trousers.

He looked up at the door of your potential unsub, ensuring that he was still inside the house before giving you a nod. You desperately unzipped his trousers, pulling them down just far enough for you to pull out his cock.

You quickly pulled his erection out of his boxers, practically drooling at the sight. God.

The tip was red, precum smeared all over his tip, and it was big in every way.

You eagerly wrapped your hand around him, allowing a glob of your saliva to fall onto his tip before you pumped your hand up and down in small movements. You periodically swiped your thumb over his tip, spreading the pearly white liquid around.

Spencer was gripping onto the car door at your movements, his knuckles white as he desperately attempted to stop himself from bucking his hips into your hands.

Then, you decided you desperately needed to taste him. You leaned down, gently taking his tip into your mouth and swirling your tongue around it.

Spencer, in that moment, thought he had died and gone to heaven. He couldn't stop the moans from spilling out from his mouth.

Then, you took pushed your head down as far as you could, tickling the back of your throat as the hair at the base of his cock just-about brushed against your nose. Spencer was on the verge of biting through the skin of his lips to stop himself from fucking your face.

You moved your head back up before taking him entirely in your mouth again, but then Spencer tapped your shoulder and began to lift you off of him.

"The door, the door" his words stopped you in your tracks as he rubbed some of the condensation off of the windscreen in front of him. You got off of him, straightening yourself up in your own seat and pulling up your pants as he tucked himself back into his own trousers.

"I'll get you back" you half whispered as he started the car "later".

You could see him blush lightly as he started to follow behind the unsub. Maybe getting stuck in a car with Reid for 10 hours wasn't such a bad thing.

[fangirling-throughlife]

My brother was being an insufferable little bitch after being home for a full consecutive day after his gf left to her hometown, so my parents, instead of setting him straight and make him behave himself like they would've done with me when I was his age (20 next week), said "if you're going to sulk all the time, go stay with her for a week, we'll come and get you next weekend so we can have some family time™ before your sister leaves again (to go to fucking work because I'm an adult who doesn't get to behave like a bitch to get things to go her way)". So, I'm spending the three days I was promised cool stuff (a water amusement park, visiting my cousin who lives near a beautiful natural park with a river...) in the girl's family's unfinished cottage in the middle of nowhere, ignoring the little shit of my brother to avoid yelling at him for being a spoiled SoB and ruining my 2 weeks of holiday that's supposed to be relaxing to go back to work. So, as a summary, here's how that "amazing family time™" is going (after 7 hours here, admittedly it feels so much longer and I'm considering escaping):

1. I visited my best friend yesterday in her new city (2-hour drive away from my parents) and had to leave to sleep instead of going out like a normal 20-something because we had to leave on time today.

2. I didn't see Spain's winning goal because my mother had me running around the house doing stupid shit like make the bed (with a bedspread I'm not even using).

3. Had to change my CGM in a hurry, and it wasn't until we were on the highway that it gave an error alert that I had to change it (and, of course, I left my emergency back-up back in the house because a CGM works for 14 days usually). Cue panic attack.

4. Had to listen to a playlist we made in 2018 with Adele, Enrique Iglesias, Michael Bolton and the likes for over 3 hours at an insufferable volume. I've heard that playlist so many times that I can sing it to you from memory, and it was louder than my music in my earbuds at maximum volume.

5. Had to suffer extreme cold from the AC for 4 hours because my menopausal mother was hot.

6. Cue the house. Old, typical cottage in the middle of the mountains, everything is half-finished. Very old-style rooms, no nets at the windows to keep the bugs out (and there are a lot). No AC. There's a heatwave, which is supposedly less here up North, but I yet have to experience that, because it feels worse. The WiFi has to be unplugged at night (so, no fighting insomnia with YT or some show). The bathrooms are old, and I've been informed the upper floor's (my parents' and mine) doesn't get water. Everything is loud (the floors creak, the bed and the door squeak...). Her mother is sleeping here as well, so I've been instructions to be on my best behaviour (which should make them realise I'm here 110% against my will).

7. I've been outside for half an hour and have 6 mosquito bites. I've been in my room for 2 hours (pretending to sleep), and I've been kept awake by mosquitoes flying around, and have killed: 3 mosquitoes, 2 moths, 1 spider, 5 or 6 flies. There are 2 spiders I'm not daring to approach. The room is HOT, and I dozed off for 20-ish minutes and woke up drenched in sweat (and 2 new bites). And my glass of water has a dead fly in it.

8. Our plans for tomorrow fell through 3 times, and we still don't have set plans because "we have to call tomorrow to check their availability", I've been informed that we're supposed to stay almost the full day as well.

9. This town is called a town but is just a glorified street. You can't get groceries here.

I'm so tired and so uncomfortable in this stupid bug-ridden and sweltering hot room that I might request the car keys to sleep in there tomorrow. I'm sure the body ache resulting from that is still going to be worth the few hours of actual sleep I might get.

I can't believe that I'm almost 25, I have a full-time job, and I have absolutely no say on my holidays (I've informed my parents that I'm going on a retreat next year, and my mother was eager to join, so I told her that a "get the fuck away from everything and everyone" included not seeing anyone I knew). I saw my two best friends for a grand total of 9 hours, and did the middle-aged thing of going to a nice restaurant. I'm going to see another friend for a couple of hours before he has to go to work (because today didn't work). I'm tired and emotionally exhausted, and I'm 100% sure I'm going back to work in a worse mental state than I left. At least I'll be happy I'm away from this.

[awakeclub]

How to finish more work in 2 hours than 95% of people do in 1 week:

EN 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

To be in the 5% you must do the opposite of the 95%. 

1 • Create a focus playlist

Try these soundtracks:

- Inception - Time

- Ad Astra - Soundtrack

- Interstellar - Soundtrack

- Fly - Ludovico Einaudi

- Nocturne No. 2 in E-flat Major, Op. 9 No. 2

The most important thing is to listen to something that resembles you and that will help you get where you want to go.

"Music can change the world" -> YOU TOO

——————-/-//

2 • Prepare yourself

Prepare your mind for the activity.

Change your perspective from now on anytime anything negative happens.

•8 hours of sleep primes you to focus. •30 minutes to think about your work path •10 minutes of planning primes you to organize.

Short-term preparation leads to long-term success.

——————-/-//

3 • Schedule deep work sessions for 2 hours

Why?

1) It takes 20-30 minutes to fully enter into its work. 2) It takes about 1.5-2 hours before your concentration drops.

Take a break too soon, you will not enter the boring phase. Work well is not work a lot.

But if you don't take a break, you will work inefficiently.

——————-/-//

4 • Separate tasks according to their nature

Group analytical tasks: •Organization •Research •Planning •Critical Thinking

Group creative tasks: •Writing •Design •Reflection

Your brain runs out of energy as you jump from one task to another.

——————-/-//

5 • Remove distractions

Avoid all shit like :

•Netflix •Social networks •Your phone obviously •All the pests in your home if you work from home

It's impossible to get distracted when it's not an option.

Every lost second takes you further away from your end goal.

——————-/-//

6 • Set 1 goal for each block of work

Break it down into 3 actionable tasks.

Now focus on 1 task at a time.

When you're done, move on to the next one.

Knowing what you need to do keeps you from being distracted by unnecessary work.

——————-/-//

7 • Reflexion

After your work sessions, put your critical thinking to work.

The questioning must be perpetual and a sign of maximum optimization.

Do you need to :

•Reconsider duration?

•Priority of tasks before others?

•Time of day conducive to work?

Optimize for the next session.

——————-/-//

8 • Reward Yourself

Do something fun after your work session.

Go fuck, watch Netflix, watch shit on Snapchat, play a video game, have a drink.

This forces your brain to associate positive feelings with work.

The reward should only be collected for good behavior during your work session.

——————-/-//

Grow your mind

Discover your potential

Gain financial education

YOU ARE WONDERFUL

You will do what you want with your life but:

STOP BEING A BITCH

Awake Club

#mindset #success #motivation #determination #gratitude #motivational #stopbitch #selflove #mind #wakeup #awake

[whatudottu]

Today, let’s talk about Kinecelerans and their lives on Earth.

Y’all have probably noticed that these lads get a bit sick due to Earth’s slower rotation and I wanna talk about why, as well as how one can adapt and actually live in this slower world.

Starting off, I’ll talk about how Humans live on Earth for the sake of context. Or, more accurately, how we sleep. Humans have a sleep-wake cycle that matches up with the rotation of the Earth, mainly because our brains produce melatonin in the absence of light, and we have long evolved to adapt to this schedule. This is a circadian rhythm, named for being a cycle that’s approximately a day.

Approximately, you ask? Yes, our sleep-wake cycle isn’t exactly 24 hours, it’s a little more like a 24-25 hour cycle. It’s the reason why flying west gives us less jetlag than going east, because it’s better for us to lengthen or days than to cut it short. I’ve also heard at some point that it’s the reason why a shifting work schedule is better for your rhythm, but I can’t go into more detail on that front.

BUT! Kinecelerans don’t have a 24-25 hour circadian rhythm, they have whatever hour rhythm their planet rotates at. Sure, assumably they have a little leniency for a longer day, but ultimately Earth’s rotation speed is significantly slower than Kinet to the point of sickness. I may not have any numbers to talk about their specific sleep-wake cycle needs, but I will detail how it DOES make them sick instead.

If a Kineceleran were to actually try to stay awake for the Earth day, they would be awake for at least a few Kinet days. This would definitely be sleep deprivation, and if I know the internet, everyone’s had at least one day of it. The longer sleep deprivation goes on, the more side effects one has.

Referring back to Humans, this involves a lot of perceptual and cognitive distortions, with hallucinations and delusions coming in at the 4-5 day mark respectively. In terms of physical harm, lack of sleep does indeed cause a weaker immune system, because you’re not having any restorative sleep in between your bouts of wakefulness.

Not to say that Human symptoms translate exactly to Kinecelerans, but that right there is the key to this talk.

Hypothetically, though probably unrealistic, a Kinet day could very well last 1-2 hours. Though this most likely isn’t the case, a Kineceleran trying to stay awake for a full Earth day would be sleep deprived for 12-24 days in a row. This is at maximum, and sure it’s a definite stretch, but this is the primary reason why most Kinecelerans get sick from the slower rotation.

It’s not motion sickness, it’s sleep deprivation sickness.

Of course, a Kineceleran can clock off for their sleep every so often, but another problem arises. What about the production of melatonin, or some other sleep chemical that Kinecelerans may instead possess. While it could be possible that they don’t need an absence of light to activate sleep chemical production, let’s turn to the next common natural light source on Kinet.

Lightning.

Sleeping during a lightning storm, especially without a roof over one’s head, would not be evolutionary that great. Maybe instead of the light itself preventing sleep chemicals, it can be the presence of adrenaline (or, again, some equivalent) that keeps Kinecelerans awake. Naturally they’d be full of the stuff, being rather active, so typically stormy nights are troublesome for the many home grown Kinecelerans.

On Earth, after a certain time of morning, there’s a lot of activity outside. Noises and a whole heaping of lights may cause a Kineceleran to associate the hustle and bustle of Earth to the likeness of lightning storms, and their body acts as such by producing stress hormones. So even if they do catch their ‘z’s during the day, they can end up being partially sleep deprived if they didn’t catch enough of their recommended hours (and maybe minutes)

But that doesn’t mean Kinecelerans can’t overcome these issues.

Being born on Earth may help.

Helen Wheels, who we all know is a hybrid get back in your corner rooters, may still have half an inclination to sleep more often than a Human would, but she’s probably sleeping less than a Kineceleran should. Full Kinecelerans born on Earth may also adapt their sleep-wake cycle, maybe power nap when they would typically be asleep and fully clock out at night, sorta like the difference between weekdays and weekends.

Visitors and immigrants especially may also adapt too, but less in changing their cycles. No, what happens here is architecturally. Surely, no doubt, Kinecelerans would have their own ‘block-out-blinds’ over on Kinet for the especially excitable, advertised to block out the flashes of light and significant noise of the storms.

Earth may not be as bright as a flash of lighting, but the light is consistent and lasts for many Kinet days. The hustle and bustle of Earth however, is a lot quieter than a lightning bolt. Soundproof rooms with no windows (or some super intense block-out-blinds) are a Kinecelerans perfect bedroom, and allows for them to clock out whenever they need to.

Maybe occasionally they spend too long outdoors, meaning their adrenaline is still running even when they’re super tired, but isn’t it the equivalent thing for Humans and our screens?

Haha, anyway, I hope you enjoyed these thoughts.

And get your sleep too.

[bssaz97]

RWBY Post AU: Training Pains Part 3

|Day 1|

– Rose Household –

[05:59 AM]

Rowan lightly snores as he sleeps on his comfy bed, covered with warm blankets. Turning only slightly as to find a more comfortable sleeping position.

..........

[06:00 AM]

BBBEEEEEEEEERRR!!!!

Rowan screams in shock, jolting up from his bed into a sitting position and extremely alert.

Whitley puts away the air horn he was holding, storing the item into his coat, “Well it’s about time you woke up.”

Rowan rubs both of his eyes, blinking confusingly at the man before him whispering, “Wha, Mr. Whitley? What are- What are you doing in my room?!”

The young boy was still recovering from the shock of being so abruptly awakened in the morning. However, his new tutor gave no instance of remorse, “I seem to recall telling you not to be late. So I decided to wake you up myself.”

Rowan was baffled at his tutor’s words, “But you said to wake up at 06:00!”

Whitley rolls his eyes dismissively at young Rose’s objection, “It was a figure of speech. It means you should have been up and ready to start by now.”

“Then why didn’t you ju-?”

Rowan is interrupted by a bundle of clothing that was tossed at his face. He looks down and upon recognition sees that it was a set of his clothes that were picked out for him.

“We’ve wasted enough time. Get dressed and be down in five,” Whitley tells the boy sternly and begins leaving the bedroom.

Gasping, Rowan quickly sits up on his bed and starts to change out of his pajamas to get ready for his first day of training, “Yes sir! ...Can I at least-?”

“You’ll eat when we’re done,” Whitley shouts from behind.

The boy whined silently, but continued getting prepared for their first day.

—————————————

Rowan, now fully awake and clothed, opens the door to the back of his home where he sees Whitley standing by a nearby tree. It looked like he was marking something on the bark of the tree.

“You’re here, good. Did you get plenty of rest last night,” Whitley asks but never turned around to face the boy.

“Uh, yes sir,” Rowan tells the man.

Whitley nods then turns to face him, “Good, you’ll need it. Today’s lesson is simple, we’re going to be going over the importance of Aura in battle.”

Rowan blinked, raising an eyebrow, “Huh? But Mr. Whitley I know about Aura though from class.”

“Oh really? Well then, enlighten me on what you know about Aura,” Whitley said.

“Ok... Well, aura is the embodiment of one’s soul. It can protect us from mortal wounds and it empowers huntsmen with the ability to use a unique ability called a semblance. With this we’re more able to combat the Grimm,” Rowan recites to his tutor.

While listening to Rowan’s understanding of Aura, Whitley began pacing back and forth while a smirk formed on his face. However that look on his face took new meaning when the Schnee began shaking his head.

Whitley chuckles, “‘...we’re more able to combat the Grimm.’ So that’s your honest belief then?”

“I... guess so,” Rowan replied.

Whitley sighs, “Well that certainly explains a lot.”

Rowan tilts his head, “What do you mean Mr. Whitley?”

“Unfortunately what they’ve been feeding you children is that Aura is a magical force field that gives you superpowers.... Of course they’re not entirely wrong but they sure did take the liberty to sugarcoat the absolute hell out of that mess of an explanation,” Whitley said to the young student.

“So you're saying that there is more to aura than what they’re teaching us?” Rowan asks.

“Precisely. Granted I never attended a combat school like yourself so I have little knowledge on how gradual your education progressing. But I believe we shouldn’t have much challenge getting you ahead,” Whitley stops pacing to face the boy.

Rowan quickly perked up at that, his eyes shining with excitement and hands shaking, “Really, you mean it?!”

Whitley motions the boy to settle down, “Rowan, you’re at ten again. Go to a four.”

Rowan does as he was told and returned his hands to his sides, “Sorry.”

“Now onto what we will be doing today,” Whitley began instructing.

Rowan clenches his hands together in excitement. He was certain that whatever this training was going to be, it would certainly be epic!

“You... are going to stand in place and focus on maintaining your aura to its maximum state until the sun reaches noon. I’m going to watch you from by that tree over there,” Whitley said, pointing towards the tree he was standing by originally.

Rowan’s hands fell as did his excitement, “....Wait, that’s it?”

Whitley nods in confirmation, “That’s right. So get your aura all the way up and keep it up for as long as you can.”

Rowan couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Keep his aura up all the way to noon? That was the easiest thing in the world! Too easy!

“Mr. Whitley I thought-?”

Whitley cuts the young boy off, “Also you can’t speak until noon. Just focus on breathing and keep your aura up. No words.”

Rowan's mouth was gaped, this was how his training would be starting? By just standing in place?!

Rowan sighs, ‘...well I might as well get started,’ he thought to himself.

—————————————

[ 5 Hours Later ]

Rowan admits that he may have spoken too soon about the ease of this task. While he remained in place, Rowan began to feel his body ache. After standing in place for a few hours without moving an inch his limbs became tired and were almost on the verge of collapse. It seemed that the only reason he was still standing was because he was focused on maintaining his aura, which was beginning to become harder and harder to maintain. Who knew focusing on your Aura was so tasking?

Just hold it... hold it... you can-

“Bah!” Rowan cried his knees giving out and fell on his butt.

Whitley looks up from his scroll to see his student has fallen over, “Well it’s about time.”

Rowan pants tiredly, “I’m sorry Mr Whitley... I did my best, but I- ‘pant pant’ couldn’t hold it ‘pant’ ...any longer... I failed.”

Whitley stares curiously, “Failed? Who told you that you needed to pass this lesson?”

“...wait what?” Rowan said, looking up at the man confused. “But you said-?”

“I told you to focus your aura until noon, yes, but this particular task wasn’t designed for you to pass,” Whitley explained.

“Wait so ...this was a test? For what?” Rowan asks.

Whitley sighs, but starts to explain further, “I wanted to see how long you could endure continuous aura application. Most kids your age and skill would’ve dropped after one hour. You, however, managed to stay on task and keep your aura which means either of two things.”

Whitley walks over to the boy and tosses him a towel. Rowan catches it in his hands, looks up to his white haired tutor before rubbing the towel on his face, cleaning off beads of sweat that had been staining his face.

“One, it means that your natural aura capacity are quite high. While not a rarity, it does speak volumes of the amount of control you have over it at such a young age,” Whitley said.

Rowan looks at his tutor surprised, “Really? But I barely held onto it for the last one and a half hours.”

Whitley shakes his head, “That only means you were able to push through the strain your aura and body was undergoing. You were training your aura as if it were muscle, an extension of yourself.”

Rowan looks down at his hands with curiosity, “Extension of myself? But I thought that only the semblance was meant to be an extension of ourselves?”

Whitley nods his head, “True, a huntsman’s semblance does indeed derive from oneself. But remember, aura also comes from within. It’s often said that aura is to be a finite source of power that ranges differently from person to person. I do not believe that to be the case. I have come to believe that aura is an infinite pool of energy that exists in every living being, and that only those with powerful wills can fully utilize it. Those that can accomplish this are often unstoppable in the battlefield.”

Rowan stared in awe after listening to Whitley’s words. They seemed to have a sense of clarity but also depth that he never heard from the man before.

“Whoa...” Rowan mouths.

“Or two, it just means your dumb and don’t know when to quit,” Whitley commented.

Rowan frowns, “Hey!”

“Either way, you did well. How did you feel?” Whitley asked.

Rowan groans, “A bit tired. But I think I’ll be ok.”

Whitley hummed in approval, “Good. Now get up so we can start the next part of training for today training.”

Rowan stood up on his feet, “Ok, I’m ready!”

“Very well. Your next task is... to take this flag away from me,” Whitley instructs as he began wrapping a handkerchief around his neck.

‘Ok Rowan, you can do this. All you gotta do is be smart about this, do a fake out, reach for that handkerchief and step away before he notices. A piece of cake,’ Rowan told himself mentally.

Rowan moves toward his tutor, fakes a reach for the handkerchief with his left hand but pulls it back quickly. With his right hand going for Whitley’s neck, Rowan gets caught off guard when the man simply grips his right forearm.

‘Uh oh...’

“You have made a grave mistake.” Whitley chides as he uses his other hand to grip Rowan’s shirt.

Rowan swallowed, “I figured. WWOOOAAAAH!!”

Whitley lifts Rowan above his head and tosses the boy to the ground. Rowan, with his aura still recovering from his earlier training, experienced the literally meaning of being ‘tosses like a sack of potatoes.’

Rowan groaned painfully as he laid down on the ground.

Whitley crossed his arms as he looks down at the young Rose, “What do you think you’re doing?”

Rowan groans, “Regretting following through...”

“That is true, but I don’t seem to recall telling you to take a break. Now... get up,” Whitley said.

Rowan groaning continued as he got up from the ground, ‘What have I gotten myself into?’

—————————————

[ 4 hours Later ]

Mother and daughter are seen walking up a trail that leads back to their home, after a long day out taking care of some errands and getting groceries in the process.

“Hey Mom. How do you think Rowan’s training is doing?” Summer asks her mother.

Ruby looks to her young daughter and smiles, “I’m sure they’re doing fine. Whitley is a friend of your Auntie Yang and Auntie Weiss’s little brother. So I think anything they’re doing is standard and–”

“AAAH!!”

*THUD!*

Both mother and daughter stopped mid-stride, having heard the loud cry in close proximity of their cabin in the woods.

Summer swallows in worry, “That sounded close to home. You think-?”

‘Darn it Yang!’ Ruby mentally cursed.

The two Rose women made a beeline to their house to investigate what caused that scream. Once they arrive and quickly place their things down, they go to the back of the house and see the young boy and tutor in the back opening. The man looked unharmed, standing wearing a handkerchief scarf and the boy very much on the ground with an excess amount of dead grass and grime covering his face.

“Get up. You’re not done yet,” Whitley said to the boy.

Rowan groans, straining to getting back up.

Ruby’s eyes widen and her face pales, her motherly instincts kicking in and her only focus at the moment is her child who is still struggling to get up off the ground. With one foot in front of the other she strides towards them.

Whitley turns his head taking notice of both the mother and daughter’s arrival, but fails in anticipating the atmosphere, “Oh you’re both home already? How was your day?”

Ruby looks at him, giving him a menacing stare, “My day? Whitley what have YOU BEEN doing?! Rowan, are you ok?!”

Quickly the young mother runs to and cradles her child’s head.

Whitley's eyes widened upon realizing how this situation was making him look, so he tried to defuse the mother’s frustration, “Ruby listen, he’s fine, I didn’t throw him that hard.”

“Fine? Fine! Look at him! Does he look fine?!” Ruby shouted angrily.

“A bit dirty but that’s about it.”

“Wha- Whitley, I can’t believe you! I thought you were training him, not beating him up!” Ruby continued to shout.

“Technically-”

“AH! I don’t want to hear it! I can tolerate many things Whitley but I won’t tolerate this! ...Whitley I want you to leave,” Ruby said.

Summer tries to interject, “Mom-”

“This isn’t a discussion Summer,” Ruby quickly tells her daughter, then turns to look at Whitley with narrowed eyes, “this contract is over. Now please leave my-”

“Not yet...”

Rowan shook himself from his mother’s grasp until finally he’s able to break from her hold and roll himself face-down on the ground. Despite feeling his aching arms begging him to stop, he raises from his sides and uses them to partially lift himself by upper torso which feels thousand times more heavy.

“Rowan, what are you doing?! You’re hurt!” Ruby said as she tried to reach out to him.

“No!” Rowan yells.

Ruby halted, staring in shock at her son who raised his voice at her. Sounding both frustrated and sad, almost pleading.

Slowly his legs slide up, despite lacking any strength. Even so he pushed on.

“I-I’m... n-not... d-done yet,” He groans.

The boy manages to raise himself to rest on his hands and knees. His breath is hoarse and he feels his heart racing through his ears. Rowan closes his vision was gets blurry, perhaps from all the times he was tossed into the dirt.

He closed his eyes and all he saw was Peri with his smug face, but it wasn’t just his face he saw. Rowan saw the faces of the three Beowolves in the forest, looking to make easy prey of him. Then he saw the faces of everyone in class that looked at him in pity. He knew not all of them were doing it intentionally, but he didn’t want them to look at him like he was hopeless!

Rowan needed to be better before his next match, he couldn’t afford to hold back a year. They were all supposed to be going to Beacon after completing their fourth year of basics. Summer, Liena, Joanna and Blaze. They are expecting him to be there!

Rowan slowly stands up, groaning out, “I-I’m... not... done...!”

Slowly Rowan walks towards the male Schnee, who remained standing in the same spot he had for four freaking hours! After nearly falling under his weight three times, Rowan finally made it close enough to where he could grab tight hold of his tutor’s shirt. So that Whitley couldn’t throw him again, and to have something to hold onto because he could barely stay standing for so long.

One of his hands lets go of the man’s shirt slowly and reaches up until his fingers had met and were firmly gripped onto that damned handkerchief. Then in an eased motion, Rowan removes the handkerchief off Whitley’s neck.

Rowan began laughing with glee, “Hehehehe! I did it... I finally got... that stupid... flag...”

His eyes drift close as he begins collapsing.

Whitley catches the boy with one of his arms, then carefully lifts his weakened form in both arms.

“Well done,” he whispered.

—————————————

Rowan stirs upon awakening and quickly regrets the action as he still feels slight pain in his limbs, but not as significant as before. He slowly looks around the room and sees that he is back in his room and on his bed and not outside on the ground. What happened?

“Rowan?”

He turns to his left where he sees his twin sister’s face, her eyes puffy and dry. Something had made her upset, and judging from how her expression turned from worried to annoyed, it seemed to be directed at him. Rowan was going to ask what was wrong but she beat him to the punch by using her finger to block one of his nostrils by poking at his nose really hard.

“You stubborn dummy! You had us all worried after you passed out! Why did you push yourself so hard?! Do you want Mom and me to have a heart attack?!” Summer cries out.

“Summer! Can’t breathe!” Rowan shouts, voice becoming nasally due to the poking.

Summer ceases her poking, then glares at him angrily, “Well I’m sorry, I’m just the one who was worried sick, thinking if my twin brother died during his first day of training!”

Rowan’s eyes widened in shock, “Wait what? I almost died?!”

“Yeah dummy! You were barely standing yesterday and you almost stopped breathing three times while you were passed out!” Summer yelled.

‘Whoa... Mr. Whitley really wasn’t holding back was he?’ Rowan mentally said to himself.

“Why do you always gotta be the one to make me worried sick? First with the beowolves, now this, can you ever not get into situations that will not let you almost die in the process?!” Summer cried out, her eyes began shedding tears again.

Rowan looked at his sister guiltily, “Summer-”

“Look I know you’re trying your best. So just.... don’t be a dummy and die before you get to Beacon. Because if you do, I’m gonna kick your butt!” Summer said while dropping her head down, her bangs covering over her eyes.

Rowan didn’t know how he was supposed to react to his twin’s statements, on one hand she was correct to call him out on his reckless abandon for his safety, but on the other hand neither of these instances did he ever predict would happen. So how would he calm his sister down?

“Summer, look at me,” Rowan said.

Summer reluctantly looks up, wet streaks falling down her eyes.

Rowan asks, “How long have you known me for?”

Summer looked at him with confusion, “What? What kind of a question is that? I’m your twin sister, I’ve known you my whole life.”

“And how many times have I ever left you behind or hanging?” Rowan asked.

“Not....many times, ‘sniff’ or any times I think,” Summer said.

And when I make you a promise?” Rowan asked her.

Summer sighed, “Rowan...”

“Come on Sum, what do I do with all my promises? What mom taught us to do?” Rowan asks his sister.

“...We keep them,” Summer answered finally.

Rowan laughs, “Good. So when you hear me say, ‘I promise to not die on you or leave you all by yourself,’ you can always trust that I will alway be here for you. That’s because...?”

Rowan pats her head, then uses strands of her hair to wipe away her tears.

Summer does her best to laugh, wiping away the remainder of her tears, “You’ll keep it.”

Rowan nods, “Yep, so don’t expect me to die or anything, anytime soon. Kay Sum? I’ll make it through this training and be up to par with the rest of the class in no time.”

“Hmm right,” Summer sniffs before she pauses, remembering something important, “Oh... yeah, I just remembered something.”

“What’s that?” Rowan asks, raising an eyebrow.

Summer pokes her fingers while looking to the side,“Well, while you were unconscious, Mom kinda... fired Mr. Whitley as your tutor.”

“She WHAT?! Why didn’t you say that before?!” Rowan questioned.

“I was under a lot of emotions at the time! I’m sorry it wasn’t the first thing on my mind,” Summer said defensively.

Rowan groans, “I gotta talk to Mom-Ah!”

Summer reaches to help her brother, “Easy Rowan! You’re still pretty banged up. Also why do you want to talk to Mom?”

“Why else? To change her mind,” Rowan tells her.

“Wait, you want to keep Mr. Whitley as a teacher? Why? All he did today was toss you around,” Summer asks him.

“That’s not the point Sum, I know it doesn’t make sens but there’s a theory to his teaching. He’s methodical in his own way and was testing me today,” Rowan said.

“By pommeling you to the ground?” Summer asked unconvinced.

“...Yes? Look, I know it sounds really backwards, but he’s my last chance at passing this class, so if I have to get my ass whooped in order to get better then so be it. But to do that, I need to convince Mom to change her mind,” Rowan said urgently, trying to get off his bed.

“No need, kiddo.”

The Rose twins directed their attention towards the entrance of Rowan’s room to find both their Aunt and Mother standing outside. The former smiling at her niece and nephew, the latter looking at her son with concern.

“We heard a good bit of your conversation from here,” Yang told her niece and nephew.

“That we did,” said their mother.

Rowan swallowed, “Mom, I-”

Ruby raised her hand, causing Rowan to stop what he was trying to say and pay attention to his mother, who looked to want to say something.

“Rowan, I know you want to do anything that could help you get better in combat class, but I also want you to be safe while doing so. Training this way... being toppled until your black and blue, is not the way to go about it. I’m only looking out for your safety,” Ruby said to her son.

Rowan lowered his head, guilt swelling inside his stomach after seeing his mother’s concerned face.

“But it’s not Mr. Whitley’s fault...”

Ruby sighs, “Look I know you’re trying to defend him but he went-”

“It’s mine mom!” Rowan said to her.

Ruby looks confusingly at her son, she didn’t understand what he meant but decided to hold her tongue to hear what he had to say.

Rowan takes a moment to find the words he wants to say, “...Mr. Whitley wanted to stop after he saw that my aura was going into the red, he insisted that I stop and that I was done for the day. But I didn’t stop.... I kept pushing myself, kept charging him for nearly two hours because... I didn’t want the day to be wasted for nothing! I wanted to win! I want to prove to those other students that I have just a right to be there and not to feel like I’m some.... loser!”

After finishing, Rowan is left panting, his face red from all the hidden frustration that had been plaguing his mind. He now waits with nervous trembling, fully certain that his mother’s reaction will be very disappointed now that he has metaphorically spilled the whole can of beans.

He was partially right.

“Rowan, who’s been saying that you were a loser? Is it another student?” She asks.

“Peri Phelps,” Summer said.

“Summer!” Rowan yells.

Yang's eyes widened in realization, “I remember that name, he’s that student you were sparring with the other day wasn’t he?”

Rowan sighs, “Yeah, he was.”

“Rowan why didn’t you say anything to me about this, if he’s bullying you then the teacher has to be notified,” Ruby asks her son.

“It’s not that he’s bullying me mom, he’s just a competitive jerk who thinks he’s the best in the class and likes to rub his victories into other’s faces, just because his semblance gives him a better chance at winning,” Rowan tells his family.

“Yeah,” Summer said angrily while pouting.

“Well either way, training like the way you did today isn’t going to help you get better,” Ruby chided gently.

“Okay...” Rowan tells his mother.

“Which is why Whitley is going to make sure you’re being properly trained and not pushing you’re self too harshly,” Ruby adds.

Rowan perks up on listening to her, “Wait really? You’re not firing him!”

Ruby wasn’t finished, “Only because today’s mishap was your doing and he’s a family friend, kinda, so I’ll give him a break. But I expect you to do everything he says, understand?”

“Yes mam!” Rowan said happily, giving a nod and toothy smile.

“Good, now get some rest, both of you,” Ruby tells her children.

“Yes mom,” Summer said.

With that all three female members of the house began leaving Rowan’s room to allow the boy to continue resting. Ruby stood by his door and told him goodnight.

“Goodnight sweetie, sleep tight,” Ruby said.

“Goodnight mom,” Rowan returned.

Ruby whispered, “Also, don’t think we’re done about this Peri issue...”

“Yes mam,” He nods.

“...and make sure to hit him extra hard, ‘kay?” Ruby adds with a smirk.

Rowan laughs before smiling, “Yes mam.”

– End of Part 3 –

A/N: I wanna give special thanks to @thatorigamiguy and @tanakaclinkbeard for both being Beta-Readers and giving me feedback on this post. I spent A LOT of time on it and it’s thanks to them I was able to get it done.

Also thanks to you, everyone, for sticking with me, I know I haven’t been too active on this blog for awhile, but hopefully I can get back into the groove of things.

So I hope you all enjoy this post. Have a great day and be good people :)

[mybeloved73]

My name is Chelsea and I’m a ITU Nurse.

I’m also a newly qualified nurse - I literally left Uni last year and began my job in the September.

My background - I didn’t always want to be a nurse. I wasn’t cut out for that sort of compassion or care. I dreamt of being a PT, an athlete, anything that was sports driven.

Until my boyfriend had a bike accident, that then left him in ITU. He later succumb to his injuries and passed away. The nurses looking after him, changed my life. Shining light kind of moment - I want to be just like them kind of thing.

Granted it took me 4 years to build up the courage, battling my PTSD, severe depression and anxiety to even apply to uni. But I did it - and Sept 2019 I got my Pin as a registered nurse.

Now, if you 1) think covid19 was made up, a conspiracy or the numbers have been made up as a scare tactic or 2) you actually believe wearing a face covering will cause ‘respiratory arrests’ ‘acidosis’ blah... stop reading. Because this isn’t for you. Or even 3) you have the view of ‘its their job’ - back away from your screen.

You’ve seen in the news about the public sector pay rise? That nurses aren’t included, nor the junior doctors, physio’s etc (I use etc as there are so many people being forgotten in all this and it is used lovingly and not to cause offence)? Honestly, Im so glad that others are being recognised for their input and help during this - the teachers who put in extra work for children of key workers, who sacrificed their home life to entertain little ones every day and try give them the education they need and deserve, to the police, military - anyone receiving this recognition. Honestly you deserve it. And the NHS will not shadow that or take it away from you.

We agree’d to a 3 year pay deal, that had the options of being reconsidered earlier than the final date if there was a change in circumstances. Covid19 should really be considered as a change in circumstances. I mean being told that you’re already ‘unskilled’ and watching people clap to STOP pay rises... was hard enough. But to have everyone else recognised for their vital contributions and lay something that was agreed in 2018 - is inexcusable.

You realise that most nurses didn’t get to see your claps on a Thursday? That’s handover time. And due to covid19 if their handover time was earlier - they were usually late because of how busy it was and still missed it.

I saw one. Because it so happened I had come off of nights the night prior.

So! My life during covid19 starts off with the busiest winter that my hospital has seen in ITU. We have 10 beds. We are funded for 7/8? We had to open an escalation centre that we stole from our day surgery unit to give us a further 3 beds.

Which in itself is hard - looking after seriously sick patients away from your actual designated and designed ward and without the continuous presence of doctors.

That wasn’t enough.

We had to then stole half of the recovery room, which usually houses patients post surgery whilst they wake up.

Going up to 16 patients. Remember - at this point. I’m THREE MONTHS qualified.

Learning is hard, steep, and in-depth. You’re suppose to be trained over the course of a year as a newly qualified, with study days and help from mentors etc. I couldn’t attend some of those days because we didn’t have the staff to look after the most patients our ITU had ever seen.

Now I know ITU is hard. I picked it.

I knew what it entailed, well partly.

I have to maintain my patients artificial airway. They either have a tube in their mouth or in their throat.

They’re then connected to a ventilator.

Every single setting on that machine, every button - changes something drastically.

From the fio2, PEEP, PS, PC, TV, MVE, PEAK, RR, PF ratio, ... one button, one alteration or mistake... literally can stop this person breathing. Cause respiratory distress, arrest.. trauma? anything.

Did you know I have to move that tube in their mouth every hour to stop pressure sores developing in their mouth? And I still have to brush their teeth and give oral care?

I have to suction down their throat and clear their lungs? Or suction their actual mouth for extra secretions?

And record all this data hourly.

To ensure that this patient is comfortable with this tube... I have to medicate this patient.

I have to keep them in an artificial coma.

Titrating the drugs to their optimum levels.

Some are measured mg/hr, mcg/hr, mcg/kg/min..

some have limits on maximum dose per hour you can use.

Some have really severe side effects.

Such as noradrenaline. Which can literally cause your fingers and toes to become necrotic.

I have to monitor someone’s glucose - whether you’re diabetic or not, and correct it if needed with insulin or dextrose.

I have to give diuretics but not allow your body to become too negative, I have to give fluid challenges to ensure you’re not vascular depleted.

I can help your kidneys with the use of a dialysis machine. Literally filter your blood of toxins your body can no longer remove without help of a machine. This requires constant blood tests to ensure that you aren’t collecting dangerous toxins or you need additional support from the machine.

I can use a machine to check your cardiac output and interpret it to make sure that you have enough fluid vs a drug that’ll help squeeze your heart instead.

I can read an ECG and tell if you need additional supplements such as potassium. Do further tests for magnesium, phosphates etc. And deliver those.

I can feed you through a tube down your nose, and ensure you absorb it. But it’s okay I can give you medication to also help that - these require me to do daily ECGs though, and interpret the data of your QTC to make sure it’s not affecting your heart.

Now. If that’s not enough. Covid happens.

Now remember our record was 16 patients?

Try doubling that.

We worked in our ITU,

Escalation centre

Recovery - we took the whole thing.

Next - we took over operating theatres.

3 patients in theatre 6

3 in 5

3 in 4

2 in 3

We stole theatre staff, recovery nurses, ODPS, ward nurses, retired nurses, health visitor nurses, anyone we could relocate to help us.

March - I’m 6 months qualified.

I’m now the most qualified ITU nurse in my theatre.

I have people who have never looked after a ventilated patients before asking me for help. Please don’t silence my alarm if you don’t know why it’s alarming. I know it’s loud and annoying but it’s telling me everything I need to know with enough time before I need to panic.

Now - covid patients weren’t just sick. Weren’t just needing help to breathe. These patients were all sorts of ‘new’. Nothing made sense!

These patients COULDNT be ventilated. We needed to paralyse them to literally be able to take over their breathing properly! No amount of sedation worked! Their lungs were fibrous and acting like elastic under tension.

Side note - if your patient wasn’t sedated enough compared to paralysis - they could be silently awake, but completely paralysed. Knowing everything happening to them. But unable to do anything - not even breathe. Every time you start rocuronium you need to remember that. If you’re withdrawing treatment - TURN THE ROC OFF FIRST. And wait before you do anything else.

Back to it. They were so unstable that you try roll them, which we usually do 4 hourly to prevent pressure sores - they desaturated to numbers so low that you would usually see some hypoxia brain injury after.

We couldn’t roll these patients without risking that. So you know what. You don’t roll.

So we couldn’t protect their skin integrity. You just watch them, and feel guilty.

Nursing school 101 - pressure sores are PREVENTABLE. Roll your patient. Skin care and hygiene is your best friend.

Now covid went against everything a nurse knows and holds dear.

Our ITU never had pressure sores. Until covid. Some had grade 4’s.

Maggot therapy.

Vacuum dressings.

These patients were also clotting, and sending off clots to their kidneys, liver, heart, brain. Covid made your blood super sticky!!!!

People were having strokes whilst being sedated, going from fit to multi organ failure in days. I’m trying to save these people, knowing they could possibly wake up with complete left side paralysis? Never talk again? Never be them again?

Now you know about these past medical histories etc?

You realise what that is?

that it could be Type 2 diabetes?

Hypertension?

That was it for some.

None of this thinking they were super sick, with lists longer than my arm, and that’s why they didn’t make it. No.

Literally things that happen with age. Poor diet? That 120/80 you’re happy you got - THATS PREHYPERTENSION.

I was probably hypertensive the entire time with anxiety.

Did you know We had to use the old anaesthetic ventilators. None of us had used those before. Those big bellows you see in films going up and down rhythmically. Those.

That was scary.

I’m use to a single touch screen button (hello modern technology) to deliver 100% o2 if my patient needs it. This has a switch to a bag, a button, dials to titrate o2 with normal air. And if I didn’t monitor the crystals in the bottom my patient would retain their own co2 and I wouldn’t know why.

New found love for anaesthetists and ODPS - these machines are NOT designed for prolonged use. But they helped us keep our patients alive. By literally guiding us and helping us look after the machines so we could do our job.

Now. All of this is made worse by PPE.

I’m hot.

It’s hot.

And intense and I’m working hard because tonight, I have 3 ventilated patients. By myself.

I have a gown on.

2 sets of gloves

An apron

An FFP3 mask

A hat

A visor

And no air con.

But I’ve got this. I can’t do my hourly checks because I am one person.

My super sick patients now have 2 hourly because it is physically impossible.

Where are the other staff?

Sick.

You’re watching these people struggle to breathe on machines and then being told your close friends at work, your mentors, your seniors are spiking temperatures. Some being admitted to hospital. Some not being able to come back to work for weeks.

Some ending up on your ventilators. It’s okay. I’ve got this.

I’m an ITU nurse right?

CPR wearing that get up. Is TOUGH. 27mins. I cried that day.

We lost 3 patients in 12 hours.

I held the hand of so many people as I turned off their ventilators because their families couldn’t be with them and no one should die alone. No one. I tried my best.. and then once my day had finished, I had to come home to my dad who is immunosuppressed. Who doesn’t understand boundaries. “Kevin stay in the other part of the house!”

*knocks on bedroom door with dinner*.

Proning. What an experience that is. And doing it Daily. The complications of that were scary before you even approach the patient.

So I’m going to flip my patient - who has a tube down their mouth to help breath, who is on medication for sedation, paralysis, to keep their blood pressure up.. from laying on their back - to laying on their front.

Seems easy?

Well it’s not. And requires like 8 people.

8 people.

We don’t have enough people as it is. So we now develop a proning team made up of everyone.

There are consultants, there are experts in their fields, there are physios and then I don’t know who else.

Honestly I couldn’t thank these people enough. More people would have died if we didn’t have a proning team. But now, people spent 23 hours laying on their front. Pressure sores on their faces. Potential of going blind? New complications of not being able to breathe we never expected.

We are finally back into one unit now. I’m still less than a year qualified. And I’m still running on adrenaline expecting this second wave. Those still reading, I know you’re thinking that she picked this job.

She knew what it meant.

And you’re right! Give me those complex drug calculations and ventilators. Oh and the scrubs!

But a pandemic? I didn’t pick that. The world didn’t pick that.

Honestly thank you, to the ward nurses - your lives got flipped upside down.

The physios who became best friends.

Consultants who literally got down and dirty with us.

To the domestics who cleaned furiously for us.

OT’s To literally orientate our patients when they’re waking up like 70 days later.

Every

Single

Person

Who

Helped.

Oh communication team made up of medical students, who updated the families because... I couldn’t. I couldn’t leave my patient. Not like this!

Matron who literally had to facilitate all this, with people who knew nothing about ITU. Being in ITU. Looking after ITU patients. Whilst her own ITU staff were sick, in hospital, or newly qualified, or working to the point they broke.

To the countless companies sending food, goodies, moral support !! Oh my god that was incredible to come to after not having a break for 6+ hours ... mmm... food!!

Did you know they’re offering support for the nurses to stop PTSD, or anxiety or just to help up digest what we saw? Psychological support for just doing your job?

But it’s okay.

We got a deal in 2018 for the pay.

We got clapped thursdays.

We all know that’s not enough, but we will still turn up for work.

We can’t leave our patients.

We can’t strike.

They’ll always mean more to us than pay. And the government knows that. Abuses that.

540 NHS staff lost their life doing ‘just their job’ - today the NHS staff walked through London protesting, to be heard. To be listened to. To be acknowledged. To be paid fair.

Sign the petition for us. Because we aren’t just here for covid. We’re here for life.

https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/316307

And just put your mask on - please - for that hour you go shopping.

I’ve been wearing mine since March 6th. 13+ hour days. Developed a nice grade one on my nose, my friends faces bleeding from using a rubber respirator....

And We’ll be like this for the foreseeable future.

Now that we have the stocks to do so anyways.

Oh and I’m pissed my graduation was cancelled! All that and I don’t get to wear the hat and gown. Bastard virus. (I understand there was more lost but humour me).

Signed, your registered ITU nurse. We will always continue to monitor.

[thorsthot]

♡thorsthot’s writing challenge♡ 5k edition

yooo! so the first time I did this, I was at 2.5k followers back in 2018. 2020 we at 5k baby!!! but no deadass, I'm very grateful, especially for the people who have still been here even when I'm being an asshole. 

I found it really fun when I first did this. I got to read fics that I normally would never read. Even though I don’t read fanfic now, I still want to show appreciation whenever I get the chance. And what better way than to host a writing challenge?? under the cut you’ll find the rules, and the various prompts to choose from!

Deadass, just have fun! (and lets hope this doesn’t flop lol) if there’s any questions, feel free to ask :) reblog this to boost, if you’d like

♡ rules ♡

gotta be following me - let me know if you’re posting from a side blog

YOU CAN WRITE FOR ANY CHARACTER IN MY GUIDELINES :)) - (It does not have to only be mcu characters but yes, you can write for Tony, Loki, Nat, Wanda, etc)

I suggest writing outside of the mcu; but it is your choice

no, you cannot write Peter Parker smut, idc whether or not he’s 18

if you're writing smut PLS BE 18+ baby 

also, no dark!fics, non-con, in*est, etc

two people per prompt so first come first serve - each person can have at most 2 prompts but it’s not required.

if you’d like to write more than one fic, you can!

word minimum is 700 words; there is no word or chapter maximum 

has to be a reader insert

♡ formatting + tags ♡

fics should include, a word count, warnings, and your prompt

if you’d like, you can add a summary (it’ll help me when making the masterlist)

for the love of all things holy, please, add the ‘read more’ function to the fics. 

must tag me in the fic + use the tag #thorsthotfive and #thorsthotchallenge (so that I can find it if it gets lost in my notifs!)

♡ how to + what happens when you enter ♡

send me a message or ask highlighting which prompt(s) you’re going to use and the character you’re writing about

for example; “movie dialogue #4 w/ wade wilson” or, “situational #7 w/ bucky”, etc

when you enter: you’ll get a reblog (likely more than one) + a paragraph of feedback that highlights what I love about what you wrote

you’ll also be on the special 5k writing challenge masterlist placed within my own masterlists.

send me a link as well, if I don’t reblog/notice the fic!

there's no deadline to enter, but there's a deadline to post

deadline - March 16st 2020

♡ prompts ♡

situational (au/trope) -

Oh No! There’s Only ONE Bed! 

Stranger In a Coffee Shop

‘Damsel in Distress’ 

Enemies to Lovers (@yournonlocalpoc w/ Jason Todd + d.4)

Friends to Lovers (@tonictransistor w/ Stephen Strange + md.4)

Soulmate AU (@the-wordsmiths-fabrications w/ Thor)

Fake Dating (@I-jus-wanna-writehappy w/ Arthur Curry + d.5)

Noir Detective AU

Apocalypse AU (@thortopia w/ Thor + d.6)

Wow! The Scary Man in the Woods is actually a Sweetheart (@pruemania w/ Thor)

Vampire AU

Bodyguard AU

Character Death

Monster/Alien Fuck Fest

dialogue - 

“Do you love him?” (@sidehowriting w/ Thor)

“You’re the love and light of my life and I can’t wait to spend eternity with you.”

“At least take me out to dinner first.”

“Will you stay awake with me? I can’t sleep.”(@yournonlocalpoc w/ Jason Todd + s.4)

“You trust me? Don’t you?” (@I-jus-wanna-writehappy w/ Arthur Curry + s.7)

“We’re gonna have a baby.” (@thortopia w/ Thor + s.6)

“Yes, my lord.”

“Do you believe in aliens?”

“It’s not what it looks like!”

“It’s all your fault.”

“I’ve never been scared a day in my life.”

“I don’t love you anymore.”

“Don’t argue with me today.”

“Do you ever shut up?”

movie dialogue - 

“It's fucking over, us, this is no joke. I don't think we should see each other any more.”

“Now take me to jail.”

“I didn’t want to get blood on your floor.”

“You met me at a very strange time in my life.” (@tonictransistor w/ Stephen Strange + md.4)

“What’s the last thing you remember?”

“How can you go through life pretending that you’re happy?” (@daydreams-and-shortattentionspan w/ Steve Rogers)

“But this is life. This isn’t a movie”

“They say it hurts less if it’s a surprise.”

“We make a good team. Right?”

“They’ll kill you for helping me.”

“I’ve been a bad, bad girl.”

“Now, you start opening up your personal life to me and tell me your husband/wife won't be home for hours.”

“Are we getting married tomorrow?”

“I gave you everything. You gave it all away.”

song prompts -

Candyman - Christina Aguilera

The Way - Ariana Grande ft. Mac Miller

Do U Dirty - Kehlani

One Night Only (Disco Ver.) - Dreamgirls Soundtrack

Gambit Rogue Delight - Sylar

Dance For You - Beyonce

Whore - In This Moment

Playing Games - Summer Walker ft. Bryson Tiller

You Know I’m No Good - Amy Winehouse (@daydreams-and-shortattentionspan w/ Bucky Barnes)

Cyber Sex - Doja Cat

Love Song - Lana Del Rey

Eyelids - PVRIS

Baby - Clean Bandit ft. Marina & Luis Fonsi

Ma Chérie - Palace Royale ft. Kellin Quinn

[acantha-j-roberts]

Sickfic Random Question Game 2.0

Questions

1. What are the signs that they aren't feeling well? Do they become irritable, teary or quiet?

2. How often do that get sick?

3. What illnesses to they typically get? Colds, stomach viruses, infections etc.

4. What is there average fever temperature?

5. Are they conscious of others when they're sick? Do they worry about getting others sick? If so, what do they do to protect others? Avoidance, staying home, wearing a mask etc.

6. Do they typically sneeze once or multiple times?

7. How often to they sneeze? Not including when they're sick.

8. How sensitive is their nose? Does it take a little or a lot disturbance to make them sneeze.

9. Are they embarrassed when they sneeze? Do they apologise or say "excuse me" afterwards?

10. Do they have any allergies? Pollen, nuts, seafood, animals, dust, etc.

11. What are their allergy symptoms? How severe are they?

12. Do they allow people to take care of them or do they fight and deny. If they deny, at what point do they admit they need help, how severe does the illness become before they reach that point?

13. Do they over-catastrophe or minimise their symptoms? Do they whine or keep it to themselves

14. While they're sick, do they get moody. Teary, irritable, jumpy, anxious, etc.

15. Are they willing or reluctant to expect medical help. Medication, remedies, rest, etc.

16. Do they prefer tablets or liquid medicine?

17. Does their appetite change while they're sick?

18. What foods do they like to eat while ill?

19. Do they despise certain foods while their sick, which they usually like?

20. While sick, do they eat more or less than usual?

21. Do they prefer hot or cold drinks? Would they rather have a hot tea or a cold juice?

22. What's their favourite beverage to drink while they're unwell.

23. Does their sleep routine change? Are they sleeping constantly or awake for hours?

24. What are some thing a carer can do to comfort them, while their not feeling well. One thing they can do that can cheer them up.

25. How would they react being unwell on a special day. A friend's birthday, Christmas, Valentine's Day, etc.

26. Does their voice change when they're sick. Does it become patchy, lowering scratchy.

27. While feverish, do they typically turn pale or do they flush red?

28. Do they have a strong or weak stomach? It is a rarity to see them puke or does the slightest thing make then nauseous?

29. How is their pain tolerance? Can they handle an extensive amount of pain or does a single ache feel like agony?

30. Do they suffer from migraines? If so how often do they happen?

31. What their favourite activity to do, while sick in bed?

32. What activity can you do with them to help them feel better? Watch a movie, play a game, etc.

33. Does anything happen to their eyes and their eye sight while unwell? Vision blurs, eyes become hazy, sensitive to light, etc.

34. When nauseous, it their a bit of time between them feeling sick and throwing up, or do they puke within a matter of seconds.

35. On average, how long do their coughing fits last for?

36. Is their anything and carer can do to help them during a coughing fit?

37. What specific treatments will help help their cough? Cough drops, vapour rub, etc.

38. What remedies or medicines with soothe their sore throat?

Characters

(Same as before)

Rules or Instructions

1. Choose a question number (1-38) using a random number generator. Then repeat with the characters (1-8)

2. Write the question out (Including the name of the character)

3. Answer the question in your own words. (No minimum or maximum)

[schoolastica]

12 Months

Alpha Peter x Omega Tony Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. The opinions here expressed are not my own but are a way of moving the story forwards. Please, remember this is a work of fiction about fiction characters. English is not my first language. ................................................................

The first 12 months of a child are the most critical ones. Tony and Peter have to learn so much.

..........................................................................................

June:

Morgan Happy Stark-Parker was born in the afternoon of June 3th, to parents Anthony Stark(O) and Peter B. Parker(A). She was 4 pounds and 8 ounces, had a patch of dark hair in her head and when she opened her eyes for the first time, she had Peter’s eyes. Her first name was unisex and they both found it cute and “Happy’ was a clear tribute to their dear friend. May was in the room with them when the baby came and helped giving the first bath and feeding for the first time. Peter could only cry during the first day and Tony could only glance wondering at the baby.

Every Avenger got to hold the baby and give congratulations. Nobody will ever admit it, but Fury’s eyes got all watery holding the new Stark baby. Because of Pepper’s mad skills with the media they didn’t had any troubles getting out of the maternity, but they knew they had to be open about this. The baby got so much snuggles and kisses (Tony had shaved to not hurt the child) and Peter and Tony holder her close to their hearts, making more skin-to-skin contact.

When Morgan was three days old, they took a candid, black and white picture of her tiny hands holding Tony’s pinky finger and they post it. Peter writes “a love I’ve never known before” under the photo and Tony caption is a simple heart. Those pictures reach one million likes in about 2 days and the media went crazy. The baby’s first sun bath is at the Penthouse terrace and when she’s 2 weeks old they go out in public for the first time and walk around Central Park with her.

May went with them to the Penthouse during the first week, she helped giving the first bath and helped them figuring out how to bottle feed her, burping and recognizing her cries. But as soon as she left, Peter and Tony discovered something interesting: Morgan was colic baby. She would wake up screaming in the middle of the night, and then she would shrink herself into a tiny ball and just be miserable until they could calm her down. She slept thru the day and was wide awake for most of the night. That really made them rethink the whole ‘family’ thing. The first time it happened, they got so scared that they rushed to the ER in search of help.

Morgan spender almost 7 diapers a day and was bottle-fed at least ten times. Tony and Peter slept between her naps (she slept almost 17 hours a day, but she woke up a lot during those times) and they barely got out of the house. They were lucky Peter was in vacation and that Tony decided to work only in September. And when June 19th, Father's Day came, they cried holding their daughter. It was difficult, not impossible

July:

Tony and Peter learned how to take care of the colic’s and slowly learned the baby’s sleep schedule. They mastered the art of holding her just right and of calming her. Peter would sing ‘In the wee small hours’ for her when she was awake in the early mornings. Tony finally went back to doing exercises, he couldn’t go back to being Iron Man just yet, but he could start losing the baby weight. It was weird, looking at his flaccid belly and realizing it would never be as it was before and that practically every being could be hotter than him right now in his Alpha’s eyes. Well, he considered himself lucky enough just for the fact he didn’t had the baby blues.

The Fourth of July was a memorable night, Tony always though that that one Fourth of July with his family was the most beautiful that he would see, until he spends that Fourth of July with his Alpha and newborn Morgan (she was one month old on the fourth of July). Tony and Peter spend that day with the Avengers and Ted and MJ, doing a barbecue in the Terrace.

They were worried that Morgan would get scarred of the fireworks noise, because she was napping when the dawn came, but that was the thing, Morgan was such a fuzzy child that when she slept, it was for real. And when the beautiful fireworks started to blown high in the sky, Morgan just opened those big brown eyes (oh yes, Morgan's eyes ware brown just like her fathers) and silently watched the sky light up. And Tony and Peter went back to their home smiling for each other.

August:

August came in as did the heat and they finally managed to leave the house more frequently. Tony’s Instagram feed was all about work, but they had dailies requests of interviews or photoshoots by magazines and newspapers. They said no to all of them, of course. Tony was dedicating himself everyday in the gym and kept a calorie track, he also didn’t drink alcohol for almost a year now. Peter was so proud that he made special breakfast and delivered it in Tony’s bed. The Spider-Man works now were in a good schedule and it was all light work. Peter seemed to be creating a separation anxiety, he went out alone and came back super-fast.

In middle August they decided to take a little vacation, their first vacation since ever, really. So, Pepper managed to book a whole trip with maximum security, in a way that nobody even knew hey went there at all. They spend 8 days in a beautiful cottage near the beaches in Carmel-by-the-sea, California. The whole place is faraway of the chaotic, energetic buzz of New York, and it’s a place where they can walk holding hands and with the stroller in front of them.

They buy groceries and cook in the beautiful kitchen, all while watching Morgan. She was 2 months old; she started the tummy time and she had lost all the baby fat and her tiny face was staring to get a more lady-like shape. She was much too young to enjoy the beautiful views, or the amazing food but her colic’s were starting to fade, and she was becoming less grumpy, which made going out with her more enjoyable. They did, however, took tons and tons of pictures of her, and videos and tiny frames of her near the ocean, specially when she gave her very first smile to Tony when he placed her near the ocean.

When they were back and safe at the Penthouse (Tony and Peter had tan marks all over), Peter quietly posted the picture he most loved yet: a selfie Tony took of them, with his arms around Peter while Morgan was in the kangaroo around his torso. The ocean was behind them and they had the biggest smiles ever. He wrote “Loving this newer life right now”.

The picture gets the insane number of 13 million likes in 3 days.

September

September was a very smooth month, Morgan was getting a consistent around her body, so she would take some toys and shake them, and she would smile so freaking much that she got herself the nickname "Smiles" from Steve and Natasha. She was introduced to good music by her parents, Tony would sing "Metallica" for her as a lullaby and Peter would sing Elvis Presley songs to her. At mornings, they would have a mix of 50-60 good rock'n roll as breakfast.

Tony went back to work, nothing heavy, just some tinkering in the lab and some adjust in the armor. Peter had to go back to MIT in the beginning of September and he once again struggled to be separated from Morgan and Tony. Since around Tony’s 8th month of pregnancy, they didn’t had sex yet. Peter kept saying he was fine with that, but Tony could smell Peter’s arouse sometimes in the morning and he was angry at himself for not functioning the way he was supposed to work. He couldn’t help it, his self-steam was so low, he didn’t believe that he would ever come back to his original shape.

Tony confessed this to Peter, about his body’s insecurity and about how nervous he was about MIT( Peter would be surrounded by beautiful, smart and young omegas, most likely they saw the Instagram photos and Peter would be a cute, young and family Alpha, just waiting to be taken). Peter made sure to assure Tony that he was more than okay how they were and when that didn’t work, Peter threw Tony into the mattress and fucked the doubts out of him. Their first time after the baby wasn’t sweet like on the early of their relationship, it was rough, it was almost 5 months of pent up stress and sexual frustration being translated into pulls and pushes, moans and groans and a spectacular orgasm for the both.

(Don’t you worry, May was babysitting)

October                           In mid October, the wind was starting to get cold, so the heating system had to be availed and changed. Happy invited them to have Morgan first Tricks’ Treat with them. So, them put a Strawberry costume and had dinner at the Jones. By the evening, they went to some houses and asked for candies for Morgan, but every house knows that Tony and Peter would eat every single of the sweets. Morgan is a healthy child, Dr. Scott says when she turns 4 months old, her sight, hearing and reflex are OK by the doctor and she has grown into a good weight and high. Tony posted a picture of a Strawberry costume and some candy at his worktable and the photo is a total hit.

Peter had MIT works now, so he didn’t go as Spider-Man as much. Morgan was such a happy child now; colic’s were almost forgotten. She gave her first laugh while she was in her highchair in Tony’s lab. DUM-E dropped a screwdriver in one plate, and she found it oddly amusing. She’s going to have a wicked sense of humor, that one Clint says once and Tony couldn’t agree more.

November

November 3th came and Morgan made 5 months, it was a beautiful and lazy Sunday. She already slept long periods at night, almost 6 hours at once (than she woke up and just needed attention). This week she learned a new trick: to sit all by herself. She also has been rolling around like a drunk person for almost two months now. Her gummy smile was everything to them.

On Sundays like this, Tony took care of Morgan for Peter’s studying time and during the week, Peter studied during Morgan's nap time. So Tony was sitting there, playing with Morgan while she was in their bed, making bubbling sounds for her, clapping hands for her and putting her over her tummy and well, being a child himself. When Tony heard something falling over in the lab and turned around and yelled: ‘Are you alright Peter?’

In this little window of time, Morgan rolled throw the bed and fell hard on the ground. Her piercing scream was heard from the entire Penthouse and Tony’s heartbeat went crazy. He lifted his daughter and tried to check for any injuries while also crying with her. Peter (he dropped a circuit table) heard it and reached them already so scared, he planned to take the baby to the hospital but in reality, Tony was sited on the ground, crying with Morgan, and Peter ended up hugging them until they calmed down. (They take her to the doctor eventually, but she wasn’t harmed).

December

Peter’s December vacation comes earlier than what they thought. There had clothes enough for themselves and had outfits for Morgan until she's one year old, but she didn't had outfits for a winter, so after they decided where to go for winter, they took some money and went to buy some clothes. Peter wanted to buy durable outfits, who could keep her warm for the entire winter, but Tony wanted cute coats, pink boots and a red hoodie who said "MERRY CHRISTMAS" so logically they fight for every single piece of clothes.

The one who seemed to be enjoying this was Morgan. At 6 months old she had made two discovers; one is that teeth coming out were bad and they should stay where they were, two is that was that her voice was beautiful. Morgan didn't talk but she bubbles all the time. She could have deep and thoughtful conversations with whoever was closer to her, in her bubbling language. She also recognizes her own name and all of hers nicknames and she also signed "yes" or "no" with her head.

Peter and Tony didn't know if she knew what those gests meant or if she learned that her parents would laugh at those gests. But well, Tony asked if Morgan wanted the red hoodie over the boring gray sweater that Peter wanted, and Morgan signed "yes" screaming loud her option. She also signed "yes" for four choices from Peter and two for Tony. They came back to their home with full begs and Tony bought a medium size Christmas Tree and put it on their TV room. They travelled to Norway to spend Christmas, they rented a big house and all the Avengers came. They passed the Christmas day with a beautiful meal, Christmas songs and all that jazz, and Santa Claus brought toys to all the children. They passed the New Year’s skiing and the kids (Clint’s kids) played with Morgan and was a perfect night.

Tony and Peter made sweet, sweet love on Christmas Eve and they smelled happy through the whole month. They posted a series of pictures of them near the Christmas tree and wrote “Merry Christmas and a happy New Year” under. It was all in a dream.

January

January was Morgan’s 7th month. Now she had 4 perfect teeth (which they had to brush everyday) and she just now learned how to crawl. Her favorite toy was a tiny Iron Man doll (Rhodes gave it to her). Tony and Peter had to stimulate her motor skills every day. She could also sleep 8 hours straight and make most of the sounds and her favorite food was smashed carrots and apple juice. Her dark hair had grown enough to make pig-tales on her, and her face was getting a more consistent shave day by day.

They came back from Norway in January 3th and the NY winter weather hadn’t been great. When Peter had to go back to school and suddenly Iron Man was needed, they reached a disagreement. Happy watched Morgan for that day, but they decided that maybe was time to find a daycare for Morgan. They took the top pick from their pre-made list and applied to put Morgan in there. The daycare was really exclusive, but they opened a place for Tony Stark’s daughter. So, in the end of January, Morgan went to her first day away from he’s parents.

Peter was so emotional in that day, he gave Morgan to the teacher; Miss Perry, but couldn't seem to stop cry all the way to MIT. Tony didn't cry but he did stay in the Daycare a little while after Peter went to away, just to be sure that Morgan was adapting. And Morgan was........ loving the Daycare!

While Peter cried holding her and Tony was all worried about "distance", Morgan looked at them the entire time with a face that said "Are you guys for real? ". She seemed to love the fact of more kids in the Daycare and she liked of all the teachers; Miss Perry, Miss Ashley and Miss Lettie. Of course, that she cried at noon, because an older child got her big plushie from her. At seven months, she could crow and roll around places and she could recognize usual voices and her own name but one thing that made she gave the "What? "face is that he’s teachers called her "baby" not "Morgan" as it should have been said.

At the end of the day, Tony picked her up and him and Peter made hamburgers for dinner. Peter was supper excited about his course, he now had new friends. Tony got so happy for him, and Morgan was so tired of the Daycare that she easily went to a deep sleep. And after that the Stark-Parkers felled into an easy routine.

February

At 8 months old, Morgan already loved her big plushie and could be a little possessive. She also learned that flus were bad. Actually, all the Stark-Parkers learned that flu's were bad. But when she got sick, they were desperate, thought Morgan's Doctor, Dr. Scott say that it was okay to have flu's at that age. So, he gave some light medicine and send very home again. The media finally seemed to catch them for the first time, paparazzi were following Peter one evening and Morgan looked really into the camera. That picture, the first picture of the Stark-Parker baby’s face was covered in at least 3 different tabloids. All these times they didn’t show Morgan’s face, too scared of what the media could do.

It was a real bummer, but they kept going with life. Almost every Omega that came across Peter seemed to want him, even when he was out with Morgan or in a date night with Tony, they would still give him his numbers. It just served for them to fight and to fuck like two teenagers.

March

Morgan was the smartest child in the planet! At least it was what Peter thought when, at 9 months old, Morgan said her first word. Since Morgan started to mumble some sounds, Peter and Tony had a competition of if Morgan would say "mommy" or "daddy" first.

But then, in a Sunday morning, Tony was making pancakes and some sweets for Peter and Morgan and they were listening "Jailhouse Rock" of Elvis Presley. Morgan was moving herself, dancing in the Highchair and making her usual mess with pancakes and apple juice and suddenly, while Peter was changing Presley music, the long word "Jail" was screamed by Morgan. That was enough to send them to the moon. After that they would have the camera always on, and Morgan learn that "Jail" was a big answer. She was also trying to stand alone.

April

Morgan gave her first steps in late April. Tony and Peter were sitting in some puffs on the balcony, with the records playing Tears and Fears, and Morgan was laying on Tony's stomach, with her belly for the air. She could sing words like "Jail, Juice, Ice" but she didn't say "Momma or Daddy" yet. Suddenly, rolled over off Tony's belly and started to crawl in Peter's direction. Peter was recording them with their camera, and he captures the exact moment when Morgan got up and gave her first steps towards her. They barely couldn't hold the shouts of joy. Tony felt his eyes watering. Just months before, the thought of having a child scared him so much and now here he was, watching his tiny daughter giving her first steps into the world. He watched as his Alpha jumped and shouted of joy while holding their baby and thought to himself that everything seemed right if it led him to this moment.

June

Tony and Peter started to plan a vacation travel to a lake in Arkansas, with Ned and MJ. On the morning of June 3th, Tony woke before Peter. He started quiet, staring at his beauty, he kissed his lips and got up real quietly. He enters in the yellow-lilac-green room, the morning sunshine going throw the window, lightning the crib. And there Morgan slept deep and in peace, she was so big now, her skin was white and soft, she had a brown hair and her eyes were a light shade of brown, not like Tony's eyes but pretty close.

Tony stayed for minutes there, just looking at her, when she first woke up, she rubbed her eyes sleepily and opened the biggest smile Tony have ever saw in her face.

"Good morning Morgan" said an amazed Tony, she looked at him and said a trainless "Morning Daddy". And just like that, Tony was crying. He couldn't believe that 1 year and 8 months before, he was alone, chasing monsters and running away from his problems. Now here he was.

Working 9 to 5, coming home to his Alpha, kid and a home. Morgan was looking at him like she couldn't get why he was crying, but she standup in the crib and lift her arms, asking to be picked up. He picks her and kissed her cheek and hugged her very tightly. Suck it, Peter! She got Morgan first steps but Tony got "Daddy" first.

"Happy birthday Morgan Happy Stark-Parker “said Tony, but only the word "birthday" got her attention.

'Cake? “she said, looking at him and clapping her hands. Birthday was cake for her, and Tony clapped his hands too, agreeing. She holds his face, pointing with her middle finger to "pay attention" to her and said "juice”, which meant breakfast first. Tony took her to their small kitchen and put her in the highchair and one bottle from the fridge. Tony was dressed in grey sweatpants and shirtless, showing off his flat tummy.

Tony wasn’t back at his original shape, but he was close now. Tony made some pancakes and made formula for Morgan, all listening to Asia. Morgan was making a mess with the pancakes. Peter came to the kitchen already dressed in a day outfit and kissed Morgan's entire face, so happy. After breakfast, Tony got dressed in light clothes and went to the city to make a bunch of things and Peter stayed to prepare the things.

Tony picked a pink-and-lilac medium cake, soda, yellow and purple balloons and red solo cups. Peter dressed Morgan in a pale green dress, with a white tiara holding her brown hair and dolls shoes. The house was filled with balloons, was cleaned and the barbecue was ready to be made. Clint and Laura brought their kids, they also brought two dresses, pink and purple and a pair of shoes. Ned, MJ, the Avengers, May and Happy (they were a thing now), even Fury and Hill came to give congratulations to baby Morgan.

The afternoon was passed with laughter, meat, soda, beer and kids running around.

When all of them were gone in the evening of Sunday, Morgan was where’d off, after eating so much cake and a good warm bath, she was so sleepy. She passes out around 8 p.m. After all of this, Tony and Peter set on green puffs, looking at their trashed apartment, drinking hot beers and making out like two teenagers.

Before they went to bed they passed at the nursery, to check her one last time. They got caught up watching her sleep peacefully, Tony reaches out and put her little hair out of her face so they could watch her better. Peter hugged Tony from behind, resting his chicks into his shoulder.

- We should have another one- Peter said quietly. Tony looks at him surprised.

- I think she’s happy being an only child.

- I think she would love to be a big sister- Peter faces Tony seriously- Lets have another one.

Tony couldn’t deny Peter anything, really.

.................................................

Opinions?

[gelo-p]

Am I qualified to write this? ^^;;

Also known as just “putting T10 into perspective” because frankly this isn’t any different from just telling someone to “play like hell” XD

First things first: FLAMES (which means... STARS)

You’re going to need a lot of stars, so if you don’t have an ungodly amount of them yet, please support the game buy the premium / happy boxes since they give you the most stars for the lowest price. HOWEVER, you will need to log-in for 25 days to reap the full benefits.

If you don’t have enough time until the event you’re gunning for, you’re gonna have to really support the game buy the standard star packs instead.

Second: BESTDORI IS YOUR FRIEND

Create an account on Bestdori to get specific numbers about your team (EP gain, CP gain, Band power, Max score, etc.), using the Team Builder. Please note that Bestdori assumes you’ll always FC (there’s a setting to account for Perfect-Great, but no setting to account for Good / Bad / Miss), and it’ll give you the maximum numbers possible. We know that’s not the case in real life, so we’re going to account for that later.

Also, familiarize yourself with the various pages (Events, Event Archives, Team Builder) while you’re at it. ^^

Ready? WE CAN DO IT GO GO GO~

I. Setting your Target EP

Okay, so getting into a desired tier (T1, T2, T3, T10, T100, etc...) is all about your final Event Points (EP). Nothing else. Problem is, you don’t actually know how much points you’ll need - the moment you think you’ve figured it out, everyone else goes nyooooom~ *insert Lamborghini sounds here* and raise the bar for you. So, you got no choice but to overestimate right from the start (if you underestimate and find out later on, you won’t have enough time to catch up no matter how hard you try) and just believe that your final EP will be good enough.

I really wish there was a good method for estimating the final EP needed, but the sad reality is, there isn’t. You’re going to have to rely on past data and even then, you’re going to have assume that everyone else trying to do the same thing is going to outcraze you.

Let me give my case as an example.

I wanted to T10 Cycling Seasons, which is a Challenge Live Afterglow event. This being a major event (major just means “all members involved are from the same band”), I knew that I had to check other major events as basis. The last major Challenge Live was My Ideal, so I headed over to Bestdori’s Event Archives page for that event to get a feel of how much EP I’ll need.

From this, I saw the final cutoffs for each tier. We know that the event took 9 days 6 hours (click on the event banner for more info; also an event is always N days + 6 hours), so this page is essentially saying,

“To get T10, you need to play at a pace of 65,320 EP/h continuously for 9 days and 6 hours.”

Now, we know that you can’t actually play 24/7, so we have to translate this to something more reasonable. If you’re only going to play, say, 14 hours a day, then realistically you’re looking at:

9 days x 14 hours/day + 6 hours (you want to be awake for that final 6 hours) = 132 hours

Which means:

14,501,103 EP / 132 hours = 109,857 EP/h. For every hour that you’re awake.

Now, again, this is just for My Ideal. I want to translate this for Cycling Seasons, an event I would later find out to be 8 days 6 hours. So, I actually want to get:

8 days x 14 hours/day + 6 hours = 118 hours

110,000 (rounded up) EP/h x 118 hours = 12,980,000

“Hmmm, that doesn’t sound right, Afterglow fans are crazy AF.”

Let’s recompute that using 16 hours a day instead: 14,740,000

“This is enough I guess..?”

Spoiler alert: the actual T10 cutoff for Cycling Seasons is 18,497,685.

I personally did 19.2M.

This brings us back to:

“you’re going to have assume that everyone else trying to do the same thing is going to outcraze you.”

I would later learn from T1′s post that they originally contemplated if “18M would be enough for T10”. This just goes to show that you’re just gonna have to sell your soul to Babanbo-sama and hope you get to be the highest bidder.

THERE WAS NO POINT TO THIS CHAPTER WAS THERE :’D

You can’t just base your target EP from some past event. Shoot for the moon and go. Go hard, or go home. T10 or bust.

II. Setting your actual Target EP, and then some

TL;DR - use Bestdori to check your team’s power, assume you’ll play 14 hours a day, and do the Math.

I’m not kidding. Unless you can find a friend who will play the remaining 10 hours per day for you, that is the maximum EP you can get. Okay maaaaybe if you play 16, maybe 18 hours a day. But you’ll need to take breaks. Eat food. Take baths. Talk to your Ran Nesoberi and ask them why you’re doing this. Realistically speaking, you’ll really only have 14 hours of gameplay per day. You can play for 7, rest for 5, play for 7, rest for 5 if you want (again: be awake during the final 6 hours). But completing your daily quota is important. It’s easy to think “I’ll just... catch up tomorrow”, which I did once, not gonna lie, but you’ll find out that you’re just waking up earlier than usual and getting tired earlier in the day than you planned to.

And then you’ll find yourself playing juuuuust a little more each day. Which is very good for your score, but bad for your health. But hey. You’re already crazy enough to try T10 solo anyway ^o^

So. Go to Bestdori, and use the Team Builder.

1) Select the event you’re gunning for.

2) Select Multi-Live (never play Free Live for competitive) and set the parameters. Make sure your team is actually good enough to join the Grand Room (any less and you’re fucked), and assume you’ll be playing with reasonably strong players.

This is where having friends/private rooms come in handy: you know exactly what their team is, leaving much of the guesswork out.

3) Select a META SONG you’re comfortable with playing a lot. Meta songs give you the most points for the shortest amount of time, that’s why you see them get picked a lot.

Relax, you’ll rarely encounter players who pick 27+ Meta songs. Most of the time it’s going to be Jumpin’, Home Street, Fuwa Fuwa time, Unite from A to Z... so practice those songs a lot.

(Nyan Poi, Tokimeki Poporon, and Initial also makes that list. Also, if there’s a newly released song, expect it to be played a lot. Looking at you, Kyu~Mai Flower... just glad Fire Bird was released after my event)

FC’ing in Hard is better than getting inconsistent results in Expert. If you’re already tired, pick Hard. No shame in that.

My personal pick is Home Street. ^^ I sometimes pick Tokimeki Poporon though, even though it’s not as good meta-wise, just because my fingers can auto-pilot it even when I’m half-asleep.

Also pick how confident you are in getting Perfects / Greats. There’s no setting for Good / Bad / Miss, so be careful. Realistically you should be able to clear 90 / 95 if you’re aiming for T10.

4) Set your cards and items, although you should have set this already in the Cards section under Profile. This subsection is mostly for cards you’re planning to get, or you just wanna see what a fully-decked team can do.

That reminds me - make sure you have all Area Items for your Band / Attribute maxed out! This will help a lot. Prioritize the items based on the band you’re going to be using.

5) Calculate!

“Park” is there to help you get a very specific number of EP. It’s what people use to get exactly 10,000,000 points / 7,777,777. So for now, choose Maximize Event Points.

Always pick 3 Flames (you won’t have time for anything less), and take note of the EP in the left side (4,380). For Challenge Lives, also note the CP (219).

Now, CP is actually just EP / 20 rounded up, so you can still derive that even if you only note the EP.

IMPORTANT: This is the maximum EP you can gain. I find that -200 (in my case it was 4275 EP, and thus 214 CP) is more realistic. Initially I set it to 4200, but found after Day 4 that I was waaaaay above target, so I set it to 4275 later on.

Also, note the “Afterglow - Powerful” below. This refers to the Area Items you have to use.

As you can see, I cleared 250k Band power, so I’m actually able to use the Grand Room.

6) For Challenge Lives:

Go back to the Live subsection, and pick Challenge Live.

For the song, you have to pick one of the songs that’s actually available for the Challenge Live. Click on the event info, and see what the songs are.

In my example, for Cycling Seasons, it’s best to pick Scarlet Sky (either EX or Special, note the color under R). However, I find that picking the song I can FC consistently is better (for both my hands and for estimation), so I stuck with Brand New Days on Hard. It’s okay if you don’t know which song to pick yet, you can just decide during the event once you’ve tried them. However, for the purpose of planning this early, stick with the first Hard song.

Recalculate for the Challenge Live.

Again, as a safety net, assume you won’t always get 26,380. In my case, I estimated it to be 25k (initially 26k). It’s a little drastic, but I’d really rather assume the worst case. Realistically I was getting 26k most of the time, but when I was really tired it’ll dip down to 25k (I got 24.8k sometimes...).

And that’s from playing in Hard.

For other event types, you’ll find that the same team will give you different scores. Challenge lives just have lower Multi-Live scores because you’re expected to compensate using the Challenge Live.

OKAY~! Now we have the EP and CP / Multi-Live, and EP / Challenge Live. Time to estimate how much points we can actually get from that.

(The calculation is going to be different for other event-types, I’ll provide that later)

Multi-Live Score: 4275

Challenge Points gained: 214

Challenge Live Score: 25000

A Challenge Live is going to require 800 CP (you won’t have time for the 200/400 variants), so...

Number of games to activate CL: 800 / 214 = 3.74

Each Multi-Live game requires, on average, 3.5 minutes (this number drops to 2.8 minutes if you can find friends to consistently quickly pick songs with) to complete, so that’s 3.74 x 3.5 = ~13.1 minutes. Add to that the time required to complete a Challenge Live, which is around 2.37 minutes, and we get 15.47 minutes to complete a “set”. (Again, this is just on average)

In one hour, you can complete 60 / 15.47 = 3.87 sets (round down for safety!).

So how much score can you get per set?

Well, a set is 3.74 Multi-Lives (@ 4275 EP each) + 1 Challenge Live (@ 25000 EP), so:

3.74 x 4275 + 25000 = 40988 EP / set. You have 3.87 of those per hour, so

40,988 x 3.87 = 158,623 EP/h.

That is going to be the final EP/h (at least for every hour playing).

Multiplied by the number of active hours for the entire event (14 x 8 + 6), we get:

18,717,514. But I scored 19.2M, remember? Which means I played some more, and had a good safety net based from my estimates.

That is how you get your final EP target.

To just summarize...

FOR NON-CHALLENGE LIVES (which I didn’t give an example for XD ):

*** for VS lives, assume you’re in 3rd place; safer to assume you’re in 5th

0) Active hours = (num hours per day playing x num days) + 6

1) Get (safe) Multi-Live score from Bestdori

2) Assume each Multi-Live is 3.5 mins long

3) 60 / 3.5 = 17.14 games per hour

4) 17.14 games x Multi-Live score = your EP/h for every hour you’re playing (let’s call it active EP/h)

5) Active EP/h x Active Hours = final EP

6) Number of flames needed = 17.14 games x 3 flames per game x Active Hours

FOR CHALLENGE LIVES:

0) Active hours = (num hours per day playing x num days) + 6

1) Get (safe) Multi-Live score, and CP gained per multi-live

2) Get (safe) Challenge Live score

3) Assume each Multi-Live is 3.5 mins long, assume each Challenge Live is 2.37 mins long (adjust for the actual song)

* note that this is the duration OF THE LIVE, not THE SONG. From when you press the “Live” button to the next time you do.

4) A “set” is an 800-CP Challenge Live + the Multi-Live games required to collect 800 CP

5) A set takes (800 / CP gain x 3.5 mins) + CL song duration to complete

6) A set score is worth (ML score x 800 / CP gain) + CL score

7) 60 / Set duration = sets per hour

8) Set score x sets per hour = your EP/h for every hour you’re playing

9) Active EP/h x Active Hours = final EP

10) Sets played = sets per hour x Active Hours

11) Number of flames needed = 3 flames per ML x 800 / CP gain x Sets played

Probably easier if I just provide a Google Sheets link :))))

------

At this point, you’re really just going to have to pray that this is enough to get you to the tier you want.

Whale for cards if you have to. Get the best team possible. All members should belong to the same band (THIS IS REQUIRED); all members should have the same attributes as much as possible. For now, events let you get away with different band members, as long as you get the same attribute:

But some time in the future, events doing the opposite - you’ll need the exact members to maximize your gains.

(this is widely considered a dick move to force players to try and roll for specific characters... but that’s a business for ya’).

Get Level 5 skills. Maximize your area items (I’ve already said that...). Get cards with score-boosting skills (preferably the +90/+110% based on HP, +100%, +115% for Perfecs, etc) - this is very important for Challenge Lives. For Multi-Lives, only your leader’s skill matters. Stay awake for 1 or 2 more hours per day (hahahaha...) The point is, when gunning for T10, you’re going to need every help you can get.

Find private rooms to shorten that 3.5-min-per-live thing. You get to cram more points per hour this way. You can also ensure people only pick Meta songs, to keep your score average higher than the safety net.

If you can find someone to play for you while you sleep so you can maximize 24 hours per day instead of being limited to 14 hours, please do so. You can play for 7 while they play the other 7. This way you’re not as dead. T1 and T2 accounts usually have ~4 to 6 of these people, that’s how they can get crazy high scores.

IF YOU HAPPENED TO CHALLENGE 10x 24/7 ACCOUNTS, YOU HAVE NO HOPE OF GETTING INTO T10. No amount of effort will get you there.

Thankfully most of the time there’s only like, 1 to 3 24/7 accounts. If by the end of Day 2, you see that you’re outside T10 and all of them have crazy high scores (even though you’re on track), cut your losses and play for T100.

“Don’t put in effort for T11.”

III. Some Tactics, I guess?

For non-Challenge Lives, there are no tactics involved: just keep playing. Seriously. If you wake up and you’re outside the tier you want, keep playing and hope the others are sleeping.

For Challenge Lives, it can get a little bit interesting.

See, everyone wants to get as many points as they can, buuuuut nobody wants to put in more effort than they need to (unless they’re making a statement).

And that’s where the Challenge Live mechanic comes in. See, in other event types, what you see is what you get: the EP/h by the other people is consistent. You know that if you sleep for 3 hours, they’ll get ahead with an EP equivalent to 3 hours.

But in Challenge Lives, it’s possible to get your EP to accelerate. To nyooooom~. It’s not a secret that playing a game that’s 2.37 minutes long but gains you 25k points is waaaaaay faster than 3.5 minutes per game but only 4275 points. And that’s why you should hide your CP as much as you can. You’ll still consume some CP per day (it’s not possible to consume all that CP is just 6 hours...), but leave enough to do a final 6-hour sprint.

“Is there a point to this?”

Well... yes and no. If your opponents are reactive, e.g. only puts in effort when they feel like the others might surpass them, then it’s a huge advantage for you, because once you start nyooooming during the final day, they’ll have no time to react anymore. That’s what I did, and went from T11 to T6 in 5 hours 11 minutes. You just want them to “relax” during the first few days, so that they don’t put in too much effort (they’ll all still nyoooom during the last day anyway!). The worst you can have is an opponent that decides midway to be a 24/7 account, because they felt threatened by your score.

HOWEVER, if your opponent thinks the same way as you do, and only believes in the final EP, then chances are they might also do the same thing. Then it’s anybody’s game.

But maaaybe you can catch one or two off guard.

NOTE: Playing the same song over and over again for 5 hours is... tiring. At the end of it you might have broken fingers like I do (my left thumb barely works right now) XD

IV. Some Tips, I guess? Is this different from Tactics...?

Also compute how much effort to get into T100 (basically the exact same process; however, you CAN use the T100 EP tables found in Bestdori. Just double that. That’s still a reasonable estimate). You’ll be able to see how many flames are needed to do so; once you reach that amount of flames (but while going at a T10 pace; so around 2 full days), decide if you can actually keep up or not. If yes, then by all means, keep going; if no, relax a bit, and just try to stay around T50. If you kept up with T10 for 2 days, you’re almost guaranteed to be in T100 with minimum effort during the remaining days.

You should prepare an Excel Sheet to track your progress. One column for “Flames” used, another for “Challenges Played”. Every multi-live, you insert a “3″ into flames. Every Challenge Live, you insert a “1″ into CL’s. Kinda like this:

I personally add an “estimated time of completion” (see the value in E?) just to make it easier to visualize what time I’ll be done for the day. For this screenshot, it shows I’m actually ahead by -0.3 flames and -17.32 challenge lives.

In a separate sheet (but same file), I have the target for the current “iteration” / “day”. This lets me divide the effort into days / half-days.

Again, it’s probably going to be easier to explain if I just provide a Google Sheets for this ^_^ (or an Excel template)

...I’m not sure if “track T10″ scores has any use at this point. THEY WILL TRACK YOU, that’s for sure. However, I did gain confidence that they’ve already used up their CP during the last day, because I was tracking them. I also knew how much their ML and CL scores were. So I knew I still had enough CP to catch up. So maaaaybe it’s useful after all..?

As for the free flames... forget it. Don’t rely on the flame regen. Recover 90 flames every time (which is around 1 hour 45 mins of gameplay to consume) so you don’t break your momentum. “There’s only 10 minutes left until the next flame, maybe I should wait it out?” Nah-ah. Unless you’re in the middle of a major break (e.g. sleeping), don’t wait for the flames to regen. Assume that you’re going to pay for every flame you’re ever going to need. While you’re taking breaks you can probably watch ads, but it’s not going to make much of a dent. You’re gonna get some free flames from leveling up, but don’t account for that.

When playing in the dead of the night, have some Netflix in the background. Or just some TV. Anything that’ll keep you awake.

IF AT ANY POINT YOU FIND THERE’S NO INTERNET, start consuming your challenge points (use mobile data). You’re not allowed any downtime. It’s a sad reality, and it might ruin your pace / surprise, but nothing you can do about it.

During Multi-Lives, join the sticker spam. It’ll at least make you smile. Dooon’t join too much though, sometimes they keep that going and cost you so much time... Xp

------

I can’t think of any more tips aside from these ones ^_^; I’ll update this once I have those Excel sheets ready / cleaned up.

Good luck and have fun~ ^o^

EDIT: Here’s a Dropbox link to the T10 Calc. You’re going to need Excel though.

1) Estimate using the EP Estimator sheet. This will give you all sorts of info.

2) Input the current day into the Tracker Meta sheet. (Nothing else to change there) This will give you your flames / challenge live targets for the day.

3) Input your progress in the Tracker sheet. It’ll give you an estimate of when you’ll be able to complete the current iteration. ^^

------

*thinks about it*

*really thinks about it*

How is this any different from just “play like hell” ?? @_@ There’s nothing new about this advise at all XD (except maybe put into perspective just how much time and resources it’ll consume)

[if-there-was-any-more-left-of-me]

I need to get this all down.

I shake all day long. My hands mostly, but my whole body too.

I'm always either starving or nauseous and wanna throw up. Nothing I eat makes it better. I crave garbage food and shovel down sugary snacks as fast as I can.

I'm always bloated, painfully so, and gassy. My stomach is swollen and hard, and it hurts to sit, stand, or lay down. I'm constipated most of the week, then visited with violent, painful, explosive diarrhea.

I'm thirsty and I drink and drink and drink but I never feel better.

I can't go to sleep til 5 or 6 am. I wake up at 7 or 8,go back to sleep, wake up at 11 or so and eat breakfast then go back to sleep til 2 or 3 or 4 or 5 pm. When I wake up, I am always The Most Tired I have ever been. I never wake up feeling happy or rested or content. I often have these really intense dreams that are more exhausting than being awake and I wake up panting, shaking, hot and sweaty (even with AC, a fan, and just a sheet), and feeling as though I had been clenching my whole body tight for hours.

Every sound is the most annoying sound ever. The radio, people talking, electronics, pet lickiing foot, water filter. My ears feel big and hollow and resonate these sounds like a big empty tin barn. Some sounds feel more like a thin, long drill bit being driven deep down in my ear.

I can't smile or laugh. I can't lift my head up.

I am so depressed and so angry. I hate the government, I hate the public for letting it all happen, I hate my mother for squandering our money and getting my health insurance canceled and for acting like she's not responsible for me being so sick.

I hate being trapped in this house where I can't even flush the toilet. I hate that my only outing is driving to go feed all the cats.

I hate that I can't use my phone consistently to escape because of the shitty service. I hate that my friends have all forsaken me and don't even wonder about me let alone want to see me.

My memory is gone. I can't remember anything, what time it is, what day it is, who I was just talking to, what I ate for breakfast. I don't know anything. My brain doesn't work. I used to be funny and clever and genuinely smart. But right now I can't figure out how to turn the shower on. People ask me questions and I can't answer. I can't listen to conversation because I dissociate so hard.

My head hurts all the time. Much worse having to drive facing the sunset. I can't see from it. Just painful white glare.

My diabetic neuropathy is getting much worse than the Gabapentin can handle. My feet are numb and everything I touch hurts my hands. Having to do things with my fingers is excruciating.

My back hurts all the time, whether I am trying to work or not. In addition to my lower back injury, it now hurts up high. Any way I move my neck or arms hurts.

I am dizzy all the time. Standing up feels woozy and thick. My knees, ankles, hips buckle when I walk. Obviously, walking hurts my numb feet. I have no sense of balance anymore. I used to be strong and steady.

Without my insurance, I can't follow through with the important testing my GI doctor was doing, which was originally to find out what was causing all my digestive problems, but then also included making sure something she found wasn't cancerous. But that's not important.

I can't afford my allergy pills, which are not important.

I can't see my podiatrist to fix my horribly painful ingrown toenails. Not important.

Can't see the pain management doctor who prescribes my pain medication and does minor pain alleviating procedures. Not important.

Can't see my psychiatrist who was in the process of trying out new depression medication and getting me to a level of functioning. I'm stuck in limbo with a medication that doesn't work for me.

Definitely can't see a therapist cuz even if I could afford it, I would be told every day what a waste it is and that I should manage my problems like SHE does, by yelling at my family and belittling my elderly husband (no that was a actual conversation we had)

Can't afford to get my regular blood work done by my regular doctor that she always insists we do monthly because we're very sick, unmanaged diabetics. I'm not even getting to take the diabetes medication I'm supposed to I'm just taking whatever free samples she has in office

God I miss going to the doctor. But that's not important. You know what's important? A 2005 red ford mustang pony edition that's held under titlemax. I have been told many times that that car will not be relenquished no matter what else has to go. I think that includes m8. Because I am very sick but I keep being told that I am imagining that I can't go to the doctor. I'm imagining that I can't afford my prescription.

Am I imagining the sick cat with a massive infection that's eaten a 2" by 4" patch of skin off his back that he licks raw every day? Am I imagining not being able to afford to take him to the vet? Am I imagining the massive tumors on HER dog? The dozens of them? I guess it's fine that she dies as long as we get to keep the mustang.

I am definitely imagining that the house is infested with millions of fleas and we can't afford the good medication (ie the $15/animal stuff that actually kills fleas) for 3 dogs and 16 cats.

Definitely imagining not being able to get get 14 wild kittens spayed and homed.

But I know I am not imagining the dozens of stray cats we spend more money on every day that we feed. Those are real.

More real I guess than my sister's need for therapy or my dad's need for dental surgery after all of his teeth have rotted out and the infection is getting ready to spread.

But that's not important. My teeth aren't important and it is definitely my fault for not going to the dentist that I have holes and cavities and pain and shit and definitely not because SHE complained constantly about me wasting money by going to the dentist every year (back when we had money) and then obviously not going anymore once the money dried up.

I remember her screaming at me in 2017,threatening to tell the doctors and police that I refused to take my medicine so they'd lock me up because she didn't like how I responded to some of the dozen different meds I tried that year. I remember because now she has convinced herself that I never take my medicine and that all my problems would go away if I would just take my medicine.

I'm so sick. I'm so scared. I'm so angry. I don't know what to do. I just want to scream and tear myself open.

It's getting worse. And every time I say that I'm upset about concentration camps or not being able to get the medicine I need, I get told to take more medicine. I can't take this level of invalidation. The gaslighting. I do not know what is real anymore.

This seems like an afterthought but I also can't buy any healthy snacks to maybe cut back on the horrifying amount of sugar I consume every day because all the food money goes to pet food and sugary treats. And I get yelled at for asking for less sugar in the house. Told to just eat something else but there is nothing else. I don't know what to do. Lacy makes these watery soups out of whatevers in the fridge to feed us. But I want real food.

I can't stop shaking. I know why I am so goddamn sick. Because I am malnourished, angry, frightened, stressed out to the maximum, and have no recourse. Every complaint is met with gaslighting or being told to take more antidepressants, as though they're some kind of magic happy pills.

I want to check myself into the hospital but I can't afford it. I would have already killed myself but I am not villainous enough to abandon my 85 yr old deaf dad whose had 4 strokes and does all the outside work and whom mom screams and ridicules mercilessly. And my sister who's anxiety is on a hair trigger and whom mom loves to trigger and laugh at her panic.

I need a miracle. I need help. I need someone to fucking shoot me in the face. God kill me please I can't take this anymore please

[soofs-travels]

The NZ Chronicles: Chapter 1

Preparations & Departures

That I was going on this incredible journey, that was long known but that time would fly like this. I think it is safe to say that I never expected that my departure would be this close. It just feels like we skipped 4 months and all of a sudden we are September 7th.

But let me start at the beginning by introducing myself. Kia Ora (which means hello in Maori), my name is Sofie and I am 20 years of age. As part of my international business degree at Karel de Grote University College in Antwerp, Belgium; I had to do an international internship and this seemed like an opportunity that I couldn’t let pass.

I am currently finishing up my International Business degree at the KdG University College in Antwerp, Belgium.

I have been blessed with being able to travel (last year to Spain, Italy & Malaysia) and getting to know so many people and cultures.

Though all of the previous travels were either in group, with a friend or with my family. This adventure, probably the biggest and scariest adventure of all, I am taking on myself.

But first, let me take you back to almost a week ago. On Monday I started the real prep (except for the visa. I applied for that back in June).

This meant getting a facial, going to visit my grandparents at the seaside, meeting up with friends and then ofcourse packing my luggage.

That is honestly my least favourite thing to do because it is so stressful. On the one side, you don’t want to forget anything but on the other side you can’t pack everything because there is a weight limit. But eventually we managed to pack everything and stay under the weight limit (yeet).

I am currently sitting on the floor near gate A5 where the second part of my journey will start. I left Belgium at around 11 pm (Belgium time) and arrived here in Dubai at around 6 am in Dubai time or a little over 4 am Belgian time.

Even though it has been a great flight with great people next to me (thank you for that!), I wasn’t able to catch a lot of sleep. I think I got a maximum amount of sleep of 30 minutes. Considering I have been awake since Saturday morning 8 am Belgian time, I can feel the energy starting to drain but hey we are not here to quit or whine, did we?

Even though I have already had a flight of 7 hours, it still hasn’t sunk in that I am going to the other side of the world for 5 months. It is just too crazy and surreal at the moment so my brain won’t process it I think.

And even after a flight of 15 hours !!!! I still haven’t been able to process it. Let me tell you, it was a looooong flight but I managed to get some sleep so that was really nice.

It was very nerve-wrecking though because I still had customs and let me tell you NZ is not messing around with it! I did have a dutch officer so that was really nice :) 

After that I grabbed a cab home and well for the rest of the stories, you can find in my later posts :p

[raviport]

Brain Breaks - Concept, Science And Benefits

Brain Breaks - Concept, Science And Benefits — PinkNBlu

As the name suggests, Brain breaks are the minute-duration of taking-off the mind from the current activity and giving a break to our brain.

During long hours of study or too much play, children become disoriented and lose interest. Handling these inquisitive minds might get overwhelming at times. That's when the Brain break concept comes into play. Brain breaks reset their energy & mental status, make them productive or just calm them down enough to listen to you.

Introduction To Brain Breaks

Our brain is a phenomenal creation. Did you know that various parts of our brain get stimulated by different actions that work as stimulants for that particular part of the brain?

While sleep renders the natural rest to the brain, it also needs power naps (breaks) during the hours that we are awake. These power naps or brain breaks rejuvenate and encourage the brain to perform to the best of its ability. 

The breaks/diversions are called Brain Breaks. 

How often have we adults experienced that non-stop working hours without a break seriously abbreviates the attention and output that our brain is capable of delivering? The children also need mental breaks while studying at school/home, preparing for examinations or competitions, completing homework, playing, sporting etc. The brain breaks enable them to reinstate their attention to their current tasks.

Science Behind Brain Breaks

Our brain works through neurotransmitters that communicate different signals from one cell to another as per the activity in a set route. So when the children over-do anything, the neurotransmitters get tired (Chemically). They respond slow, carry fewer/no signals and render the brain less-capable of grasping new information than it generally does. 

(1) During the Brain breaks, the neurotransmitter signals change the route, and send them to another part of the brain (the part stimulated by the brain break) than the one currently in use. 

(2) This tiny break in neural transmission helps to start afresh with the original activity.

(3) Brain breaks provide intermittent ease to the brain to adapt and secure the learning they have received while performing the original activity. 

(4) Hippocampus is the epicentre of the brain, a part dedicated to learning and memory. The Brain Break increases blood circulation and oxygen to the brain. Brain breaks stimulate cell growth and neural stimuli in Hippocampus, boosting its performance. 

The Brain breaks need not interrupt the flow of the learning schedule or any subject class. It requires a maximum of two to four minutes of short intelligent brain break to help the students refocus and recharge to continue with what they were doing.

Benefits of Brain Breaks

Brain breaks are highly essential to optimise the learning, playing and overall performance of children of all age groups. Strategically designed brain breaks help the children to reset, relax, regain focus on their current activities. 

(1) Brain breaks work great when the children are hyperactive, and you need something interesting to settle their bubbling energy coffers.

(2) They improve behaviour patterns and reception of instructions.

(3) Physical Brain Breaks help to keep a check on the sedentary lifestyle with additional mental health benefits.

(4) Increase efficiency and overall performance in all activities.

(5) Increases their learning capacity along with better retaining of already learned information.

(6) Reduces stress and frustration due to the monotony.

(7) Exercise breaks are good for health, cognitive development and educational success.

(8) Unplanned playtime or physical breaks give an opening to nudge the hidden creativity and imagination in children.

(9) Help to convert the incessable energy into something constructive and beneficial.

(10) Brain breaks help in axiety control and mood enhancement.

The concept of Brain Breaks has been incorporated by many teachers since the time when we (parents) were students. Remember how we all loved the teacher who gave intermittent breaks during the classes or did an exciting activity with us? We looked forward to those periods and listened with more concentration.

Therefore, with the inherent requirements of the competition, curriculum, and academic performance in current times, the inclusion of brain breaks has become more significant. 

There is no rule-book for brain break activities and how you can include them. It only needs observation and technique as per the activity, subject, time and classroom/home setup. 

Read our blog "Best and Easy Brain breaks Activities for Kids" for different ways to incorporate them into the student academic cycle.

It is our collective responsibility to help our little curious minds to discover their best potential. Brain breaks are one of the methods that will help in the said vision.

Check out our other blogs at PinkNBlu

[workspacesposts]

How Coworking Space Shapes Perfect Work-Life Balance

After 11 hours of screen time, you finally put on your slippers, wear your mask, Sanitize your hand, and take a deep breath in the evening. you get a call from the colleague who you're avoiding all day for reminding you to skip work on another day. The daily battle between work and home has been over for the past few months. Most of us hated slogging to the office every day. Only a few companies are respecting the DND post 7 pm rule. Companies are racing to make up for the losses during the lockdown, employees are working longer hours for profits

The need for 9 to 5

This is the simple process the company can not pay when people log in work late and take up a post at 4 PM. The pandemic situation has affected every household and made work from home a challenge. Being a patient career to restless children confined inside only with domestic chores to take your mind off work can be detrimental for physical and mental well-being in long run. It is important as safety giving is paramount, also consider shifting our work desk, workspace, and office space away from the domestic sphere. Except for professional life, the 9 to 5 routine takes a long way in shaping our daily habits to ensure our well-being. Waking up soon, getting ready, having breakfast, and ready for work, is a four-fold exercise that gives a healthy start to a day.

Dynamic culture of

Co-Working

If work is too stressful, taking a break is a challenge. It is important to fix a goal by religiously sticking to 9to5. The main thing you will notice when you're walking in a coworking space, you will find some known faces and every community of people working on a different thing together. All you need is motivation to chase your goals. The aroma of freshly brewed coffee flying through meetings, grabbing a quick sandwich or both, and working silently on your desk without any interruptions. definitely, a day like this makes your job worth it. Meeting rooms for zoom calls make for room clear conversation and chance of meeting goals instead of losing them. Just scrolling your phone and staring endlessly at the laptop not only drains the energy but also robs your enthusiasm for work. This affects performance and mental health, especially when you're surrounded by a pandemic with no respite.

Overcoming The pandemic with the community:

Nothing tells you that being alone is better than a community of like-minded individuals. Whether you are an employee or an entrepreneur, it is important to stay connected with each other so that you can stay true to your goals. All businesses hit hard due to the pandemic and the solution should be a collective effort. Coworking offers multiple individuals and organizations to work together under one roof which helps you to find a collective solution to a business. It also provides collaboration and networking to perform your maximum potential rather than bottle up your plans silently at home. With your team facing each other, voices get heard and your target gets more achievable. By following safe social distancing. When you have working teams and companies working round the clock together, you get more motivation to not only achieve your goals but also stay true to your goals. There is no replacement spirit of an office space that ignites your creative spirit every day and helps you to grow as a professional

Creating connections for innovation:

Collaborating through zoom calls and google slides helps your ideas to work initially, the process gently hits a barrier. The current world is changing and impacting us in different ways and constant internment is depriving us of the experience we often consider this part as a daily routine. Blooming ideas off each other and constant exchange of experience make way for creative, healthy, collaboration. The loss of human contact moderately sets you apart from reality and leaves you stuck in a void. Creative work can hurt especially when there is a gap between the feedback, brief, and execution that is occurring over mails and slack. Limited interactions with certain people lead to limiting your efforts and potentials which affects the quality of your work. The coworking space offers you space to reach out to people from diverse backgrounds and begin productive conversations that improve your experience and expand your perspective.

Striking the perfect balance:

Life, Work, and otherwise. The fulfillment of these three makes way for peace and a happier you. After your 8 hours plan during the pandemic, the goal is to come back home with reopen spirits and enjoy a good sleep at night which is rare after working the entire day at home. It is important to produce clear boundaries to work around for life to thrive and vice-versa. Coming into a workspace dedicated to working every day helps you to make a clear difference and make an awake effort to keep the two separate and motivate others to do the same. When the boundaries decrease both lives and work carry the burden and naturally, bad habits die hard. With lifting the restrictions every day, life is getting back to normal. Following the safety precautions, it’s best to step forward at a time back to the office. Whenever you return, we are safe, sanitized, and ready to make lots of fun and excitement to your life at Inspire Office space.

[itswomanswork]

5 Hacks for Creating Smarter and More Profitable Digital Content

Content marketing is approaching an inflection point – this inflection point will determine the role of content marketing in the modern marketing technology stack.

It seems that, everywhere you go, content marketing and native advertising have become the hot-button topic du jour, as it becomes increasingly apparent how these strategies have the potential to drive performance while delivering valuable and targeted content to customers at the right time.

But despite the potential of content marketing and the number of resources dedicated to the creation of content, we are in the middle of a content marketing crisis. In a recent survey of more than 250 marketers for Fortune 500 brands, my company found only 30 percent of marketers report more than half of their content is actually engaged with.

In an industry where it is estimated that $145 billion is spent on content each year, that means that marketers are wasting at least $75 billion every year by creating content that is never consumed, never viewed, and drifts onto the back shelf of the infinite internet library.  The net result is wasted resources, loss of website traffic, conversions, and revenue.

Problem presented. So the question is how do marketers rev up their content marketing strategies to create “Smart Content”, useful, discoverable content that delivers real ROI? I promise you that cranking out more content won’t be the solution.

Smart content requires targeted, optimized and integrated approaches that can be adaptive to changes in the marketplace or industry. Such smart content turns content creation from an act of informed guessing to precision driven performance. Marketers need to turn to best practices for creating smart content that fuels modern marketing and satisfies the needs of consumers in the post-mobile world. Without it, marketers will fall behind their competition, lose connectivity with their customers, and ultimately fail. Here are my five recommendations for getting smarter with your content.

1. Understand your audience and target intent

Many marketers understand the capabilities of social media and ad buys to target narrow slivers of the population, but neglect to apply these sentiments to content development and optimization.

We assume our general sense of who we’d like to get our message out to – “potential clients”, for example – will be a sufficient guidepost to produce high-performing content that is easily found by consumers. Easy, right?

Wrong.

The first step to creating the right type of content that is both discovered by and engaged with is identifying the needs of your target audience and the moments when they are looking to address those needs.  Why do they care about or need this content?

Consider developing personas that identify aspects of who your audience is, what type of content they want and how they want to consume it – otherwise known as customer intent.

For example, if you manage the digital presence of a home improvement store that identifies women are a core target audience with potential for growth, consider tracking what type of content this audience searches for – perhaps “DIY kitchen remodels” is a common search term. Develop smart content that meets that naturally arising need for that information.

These personas, which are essentially personified marketing segmentation tools, help you better understand the priorities and behaviors of your “average” consumer. Meaningfully understanding consumers can set you up for success as you craft content to guide them along the buyer’s journey. In fact, these personas are essential for effective digital content, as they enable marketers to micro-target content towards the right consumers.

2. Start smart by pairing SEO with content at the beginning

Whether you’re starting up a new content marketing operation or trying to build on top of what you have, one of the most important things you can do is to prioritize search engine optimization (SEO) from the very start.

In the aforementioned survey my company took of 250 marketers, the majority agreed SEO and content are becoming more integrated or converging into one function.

Recognizing the powerful relationship between SEO and organic content early on, in fact, can set your content up for success as it makes everything you write that much more visible to search engines – who will reward you for adhering to SEO best practices. You can learn more with this free-to-download checklist here.

Whether you’re writing the content yourself, or somebody else is doing it, make sure all pertinent stakeholders know what these best practices are so that you’ll get the most out of your content every time. To do this you must ensure that your SEO and content teams are aligned to keep ahead of key trends and build frameworks that impact overall digital marketing success.

For example, that means properly deploying H1 tags, and H2 tags, building your link architecture with some semblance of order and properly categorizing content (like blog posts) every time it’s posted.

Thinking about this at the beginning of the process – and pairing SEO with content from its inception – will save you time and maximize the value of your effort.

3. Reach consumers along key moments that matter

Just like digital search disrupted how we access information in general, the mass-proliferation of mobile devices equipped with high-speed internet has upped the ante. How? By bringing our ability to quickly access information with us everywhere we go, basically all the time.

If that sounds hyperbolic, consider that the majority of searches are now taking place on mobile devices. Then, think back to those personas mentioned at the beginning of this article. If you really consider what the average consumer is doing every day, chances are there is a mobile device in his or her hand at multiple points throughout the 15 or so hours the average person spends awake.

People look at content on their mobile devices and make decisions. If you want to be a factor in that decision making, it’s important that you are developing mobile-friendly experiences.

Rather than wrestling with your content to re-adapt it for mobile devices, just think mobile-first. From the very start, plan to build experiences that load quickly, are visually appealing on smaller devices, and seek to inform, enrich or convert with just a few swipes or scrolls.

4. Always account for change and be optimizing

While we’re on the subject of mobile, it’s important to take an important lesson from how those portable devices completely changed the game for marketers in the space of just a few years.

The lesson? Change is one of life’s key constants – and this is especially true for those of us in digital marketing.

Whether it’s algorithmic change – take, for example, Google’s marking of sites without HTTPS as nonsecure, and rewarding sites with HTTPS higher positions on the SERP. Or shifts in technology, it’s up to marketers to stay on top of these changes to account for both customer behavior and changes in the tech landscape.

Today, it is secure, mobile-optimized content that is the breadwinner for marketers. Tomorrow (almost literally), as artificially intelligent digital assistants and voice-command technology become more relevant, content optimized for A.I. and voice search will be number one. The day after that, there will likely be another technology and set of consumer behaviors to account for. We as marketers must be agile enough to pivot and perform when that time comes.

5. Take advantage of emerging technology shifts to maintain your edge

Everywhere you turn, there are conversations about artificial intelligence and machine learning.

Rather than dismissing this conversation as the latest buzz, marketers should keep their fingers on the pulse on the role that artificial intelligence can (and is already starting to) play in modern marketing technology.

As marketing has grown more data-centric and performance-driven, and as data touch points have exploded in population, there is more information out in the digital sphere than is sustainable for any person to process and respond to effectively. Artificial intelligence in martech is, fortunately, emerging to bridge that gap by quickly parsing data, offering insights about consumer behaviors, automatically updating content to adhere to the latest in SEO best practices, and more.

If marketers are feeling the pressure to perform as their budgets increase and the c-suite looks to them for measurable results, then they would be wise to invest some of those budgets into marketing technology that helps them focus on building maximum ROI from the gate. Artificial intelligence may be the help you need by touching on each of the five “must-dos” for marketing success defined here.

Guest author: As the SVP of Marketing for BrightEdge, Kevin leads the company’s go-to-market strategy and a growing marketing team responsible for building the BrightEdge brand, driving demand, and expanding customer relationships. Prior to BrightEdge he was the Chief Marketing Officer of Act-On software. Kevin was also VP, Product & Market Solutions at ExactTarget & Salesforce.com, where his team fueled the company’s growth through a successful IPO in 2012 and acquisition by Salesforce two years later for $2.7 billion. Kevin has a BA from Michigan State University.

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