#and you don't know how to go and make tye friends

[azure-steel]

🙃

[spooky-bunnys]

This is the request I was working on before my account was hacked. I don't have the ask for it. But I wrote what I remembered. I hope you guys like it!

Mizo middle didn't know what to do right now. The sight in front of them had stooped them. When Yamagishi said he couldn't joing them today, they didn't think too much about it.

Until they actually came across him and some scary looking dude. Like the guy looks like he could easily kill Yamagishi! Takemichi looked at his other friends panicking. What did Yamagishi do?!

(Name) stared up at the sky as his brother continued ranting about homework and the gang he joined. Whoch honestly surprised (Name), but his baby brother always had a liking towards gangs. It worried him for the longest time, but he know's he always has his back.

Whoever tries to mess with his brother has to go through him first. Well...(Name) sighed and ran a hand through his long dyed (color) hair. His rings catching lose strands here and there. (Name) suddenly smiled softly, turning to his still ranting brother.

"Oi shrimp. Wanna see my newest tattoo?" Yamagishi straightened up and looked at his brother with stary eyes. "You got a new tattoo?! What is it?!" (Name) faked a groan and took off his leather jacket. Carefully handing it to his brother before lifting his shirt slightly.

Showing a familiar pair of glasses along with the words, "Modivation and Inspiration". Yamagishi could feel tears well in his eyes. His brother while he looks extremely dangerous, was actually the softest and kindest person he knows. He'd do anything to keep him safe.

He carefully stared at the tattoo noticing the jagged scar. Yamagishi felt his heart slightly break. Thanks to him, his big brother not only got stabbe but, was sent to Juvie due to (Name) injuring the guys that attacked him so badly. He frowned and held the jacket tighter.

(Name) lowered his shirt and stared at his brother worringly. "Shirmpy you good?" (Name) slightly licked his lips, trying to keep them from getting too dry. Showing a new tounge piercing along with his snack bites. Yamagishi stared at his brother. (Name) changed so much in Juvie.

His brother used to hate tattoo's and piercings. Saying they ruin a persons beauty. Now here he is, covered in ink with multiple piercings. His once (Hair color) short hair now a long dyed (color) hair. His bright prince like brother was now a prnce of darkness.

It makes him sad knowing if he hadn't instigated the fight, his brother wouldn't had almost died and been sent to Juvie for almost 5 years. He had missed so much. Yamagishi hugged his brother tightly. Crying into his brothers chest.

(Name)'s heart broke hearing the cryings and gasps leaving his shrimpy dork of a brother. (Name) pulled the hair tye from his brothers hair and gently ran his fingers through his hair. Being careful to make sure his rings wouldn't get caught in the youngers hair.

From across the street Mizo middle stopped panicking seeing the heartfelt scene. For Gishi to act like that, he had to be someone special and important to him. Akkun turned and started walking away, catching the other three's attention. Before Takemichi could ask what he was doing, Akkun explained how the hugging duo deserved privacy.

Later that night (Name) was working on his precious bike. It was a 1998 (bike). It was his 2nd precious treasure. Beside his baby brother of course. Gishi was laid out between the bike and tool box. Handing his brother a different tool when asked. Yamagishi hadn't noticed the time, untl he phone rang a familiar tone making him jump.

He quickly grabbed his phone then rushed into the house. (Name) came out from under his bike extremely confused of his brothers actions. But shrugged it off before continuing his repair job. Once he finished tightwning the last bolt his brother came stumbling down the front stairs. Startling (Name) as he quickly rushed to catch his brother.

"Oi Shrimpy easy! You're gonna fall and crack your skull!" Yamagishi checked the time on his phone. Crusing once seeing the time. "Sorry Aniki I'm late for the gang meeting." (Name) chuckled and ruffled his brothers hair. "Did you forget that I can drive you there?" Yamagishi frozed. He had forgotten that.

(Name) grabbed the keys to their "dads" car. Not like the bastard is using it anyways. He's at some bar trying to find a new "fling". Once the two settled in the car they were on their way. Now obviously (Name) let his brother out a little before the shrine entrance. Knowing the gang wouldn't like outsiders present.

(Name) reminded his brother to let him know when the meeting was over. He would hopefully be finished with fixing his bike. All he had left to do was change the oil. Once arriving back to their house (Name) immediately got to work wth changing the oil in his bike. Knowing his brother would live to ride on it again.

After changing the oil in his bike and taking a much needed shower. About 45 minutes had passed. (Name) had just finished drying his hair when his phone rang. When he saw a message informing him that his baby brother meeded a ride home from the meeting.

As (Name) walked out of his room he stopped before his mirror. His hair was half up showing his long dyed (color) hair and his undercut. His spiked belt and bracelet shinning from his lamp on his desk. Finally his ripped black jeans and favorite skull and roses shirt. His tattoos and piercings on full show.

He chuckled grabbing his old leather jacket. Which had multiple patches on it. His newer leather jacket already on his bike. He grabbed his and his brothers bike helmets, and made his way out. He waved at the neighbors who were coming home before taking off.

It took a total for about 10 minutes to get to the shrine. His bike and appearance catching many members attention. While many members went t confront the new arrival. One had gone to Mikey who was talking to Takemichi and his friends.

When Mikey was informed on how the guest appeared he was a bit worried that a rival gang member had came to their hideout. So he quickly made his way over to the entrance. Hoping his thoughts were wrong.

What greeted him was an usual sight. The unknown male (who still had his bike helmet on) was completely ignoring the members yelling at him. Dodging fists and kicks thrown his way. The guy wasn't even fighting back. It was when Yamagishi recognized the bike and the jacket did he take off towards the "fight".

Scaring his friends greatly who rushed after him. But to their surprise Yamagishi had thrown himself at the unknown male. The male obviously caught the smaller male and laughed loudly. Silenced everyone present. Until Mikey stepped forward. Announcing his presence.

"Who are you and why are you here?" Yamagishi tried to speak up. But was silenced by a hand settling on his shoulder. When the taller male removed his helmet it was like everything was shown in slow motion.

Many were awed at the site of the male. He was tall and had many piercings and looked to be covered in tattoos. Takemichi quickly recognized him. "Wait! You were the guy with Yamagishi earlier!" The male chuckled and opened his mouth. Showing another piercing.

"Yeah. I'm this shrimps brother. The name is (Name). It's nice to meet the friends I've been told so much about."

Everyone stared. Nobody moved. Well until Mucho stepped forward. Throwing a punch at (Name). Who quickly dodged the fist and grabbed Mucho's arm, throwing the much larger male over his shoulder. He made it look so easy.

Everyone's jaws were dropped. It was completely quiet until (Name) laughed. "Well it's great to see you too Muto. But your still slow as ever." Mucho stood up chuckling and brushed his uniform off. "Well (Name) I didn't know you were getting out so soon. I was gonna visit tomorrow."

(Name) smiled and pulled his brother close. "You of all people know I'm well behaved. Besides someone has to look out for those who can't. Besides I'm the Dark Knight. Nothing can keep me locked up for long."

Upon hearing "Dark Knight" Toman went up in an up roar. Surrounding (Name), asking him multiple questions, and weirdly enough for his signature. (Name) quickly grew bashful and tried escaping. Which he failed to do. While (Name) was getting trampled, Mizo Middle were questioning Yamagishi.

"Since when was the Dark Knight your brother!" Akkun was the most shocked. He had met the Dark Knight once after he was almost mugged. But he was luckily saved. "Wait. What did Mucho mean by "get out so soon"." Yamagishi slightly flinched. They of course noticed which made them worried.

But they quickly pieced it together. "You're brother. He was in Juvie wasn't he?" He nodded sadly. "He was. It was my fault he was." That's when he told them about how he used to get his gang info. Which was to actually stalk and talk to gangs.

Of course that had gotten him in deep trouble. He told them about how a few gangs had gotten together to "take him out". "It was a rainy day and I was late meeting (Name) outside his school. When he came to find me, he had found the gangs trying to actually kill me."

He looked over to where he brother was surrounded by Toman members and a few captains. "He immediately jumped in. He was able to beat almost all of them. Until one member pulled out a pocket knife. He had almost stabbed me but...(Name) took the stab for me. He had beat the guy so badly....the guy almost died."

The other stared sadly at him. "(Name) almost died protecting me. Then he was sent off to Juive for almost killing the dude. They didn't even let him explain what actually happened! Since the judge knew the dude who was almost killed. He immediately found him guilty and (Name) didn't fight back."

Yamagishi jumped feeling an arm wrap around his shoulders. "Well shrimp. I've said before and I'll say it again. I'll do anything for you. You're my baby bro! Besides I made some cool friends in Juvie." (Name) smiled at everyone. He was glad his brother was safe and happy. It was all he ever wanted.

[machiten]

that's my seat! (pt 2)

academic rival scaramouche x gn!reader

warnings: scaramouche(bro is a whole warning), foul language(it's scaramouche we're talking about here so), bits of xiaoven (fuck you i love his ship), idk what else

4.2k words

❗not proofread ❗

the day after that, you didn't attend class which was quite unusual since there was never a day where you attempted to skip class (one time you did but it was so that you can study for another class) and it alarmed him, just a little bit. maybe you got sick? an urgent matter perhaps? but you didn't file an excuse letter so the teachers can excuse you. scaramouche wanted to ask your friends but his pride is a little too much for that. oh and he was also sent to the principal's office the same day. it's not the first time of course, trips to the office are basically routine now. when scaramouche entered, the principal is a bit surprised to not seeing you trail behind the purple haired achiever.

"oh? this is new. where's (last name)?"

"...don't know, i haven't seen her since this morning."

"that's a nice hit you got there." tye principal addressed the patches on his face. scaramouche clicked his tounge as he flicked his head to the side, as to hide his face from shame.

if he was to be honest to himself, he aready had his eyes on you since day one. someone is on par with him? really?? now he doesn't see that everyday. it changed his overall view on school. no more boring lectures with no one to debate with, no more being dragged alone to every bullshit quiz bee contests (you're also gettting dragged), and getting high scores are actually fun now because he gets to make fun of you.

so as the days go by... wait, days? how long has it been?! he hasn't seen a single strand of your hair. he already checked certain spots around the school everyday, hoping that maybe you were just avoiding him therefore the lack of your presence. he was calm, not until one of your friends went to him, asking for your whereabouts. him. your sworn enemy, is being asked where the fuck you are.

"hey"

scaramouche turned to the voice seeing aether with a frown. "what." scaramouche replied.

"i didn't think i was ever gonna ask you this but im gonna overlook all the shit that you did for now because this is important. have you seen (name)?" aether grimaced

"no, i haven't seen her. also, how the fuck should i know? we're not close." he crossed his arms, as if he just heard the most absurd question in his entire existence.

"fuck" aether cursed under his breath. "well, thanks i guess." aether waved and walked away. when he turned into a corner, scaramouche's facade fell. the hell? not even aether knows what happened to you? feeling guilt, scaramouche fished his phone out of his pocket and opened his contact list oh yeah he also doesn't have your number, you're not even friends on any social medias. he cursed under his breath. now he feels really bad, blaming himself for your disappearance, guilt eating him inside out.

the days go by, scaramouche ignored the prickling feeling inside his chest. you'll come back, right? he knows you would, you wouldn't abandon your education, right?? he just had to be patient. but he cant really ignore you, everything he sees reminds him of you. everytime he enters the classroom, he gets reminded by the chair he sits in, expecting you to come in a minute later to play tug of war with the chair. in lectures, he's always ready to spit out a comeback whenever you add something to the lesson but this time he kept waiting until the lecture ends until he realizes that no you weren't there at all to debate with him. when the teacher hands out test results, he always looks at the back (where you sit) to compare scores but everytime, he sees nothing but an empty chair.

you have perfectly blended yourself in scaramouche's routine. and everytime it happens, the guilt plaguing his mind feeds from it. he went home that day accepting the fact that it is entirely his fault and he should fix everything. that's the least he could do after everything that he's done.

"im home," scaramouche exclaimed as he entered his house, putting away his shoes on the side. "welcome home kuni- you okay?" his sister, which is a splitting image of their mother, said as she paused the tv. "yeah, anyways. im probably gonna regret this but can you both cook for yourselves today? i have to go somewhere. please don't burn the pan handle again, thanks." he said as he immediately ran to his room to change.

"where are you going?!" his sister shouted from downstairs. "uhh to my friend's house!" he shouted back.

"you have friends?!"

"what is that supposed to mean?!!"

"im gonna tell mom you're going somewhere!"

"ok!"

when he was out of the house, he took at his phone and looked at the picture of your address in you notebook when he sneakily stole your notes.

'damn they live far... good thing i have a motorcycle.' he took his keys, wore his helmet, and got the engine started.

after 20 minutes of trafic and searching for your apartment, he took off his helmet got off his bike. he can feel people staring at him (i mean, who wouldn't). he went to the elevator and pressed your floor number. he got out when he heard the ding and immediately went to find your door number.

'143... 143.... 143... 143... 143...' he chanted the number in his head. when he found your door, he took a really deep breath and knocked. after a few seconds, he heard shuffling from the other side, then the door opened. he expected to see you but to his surprise, he saw a dark haired boy fading to bright torquoise with two braids framing the side of his face.

...did he get the wrong place?

he stood there like an idiot for a few seconds until he heard the boy talk.

"so, need anything?" he sounds cheery, definitely the extroverted type. "uhm, do you know anyone here by the name (name)?" he held his helmet a bit tighter. "oh (name)? wait I'll call them." the braided boy then shouted inside his apartment. "(name)!! someone's looking for you!! again!!"

scaramouche winced at the noise-- you're inside??? then what the fuck is this boy doing in your house? is he your boyfriend? (is he too late?) then, as if the heavens opened up for him, he heard curses with an awfully familiar voice far inside the apartment.

"tell my brother to fuck off!!"

"it's not your brother!!"

"well then tell my teacher im fine!!"

"..well-! it's not a teacher either!!"

"...."

"what does he look like?!!"

"can you both stop yelling like mountain dwellers-"

"HE LOOKS EMO!!" scaramouche was offended.

after a moment of silence, the boy spoke to him, less volume this time. "sorry about that, im venti by the way! she hasn't been doing well for the past few weeks because something happened at her school or something, i hope you understand.." a sweat rolled down scaramouche's back. "it's ok, im--"

"venti who the hell-" a new participant has entered the conversation, you. and when scaramouche saw you, he felt relief and overbearing guilt at the same time. relieved that you look fine and healthy, guilty because of the things he has done. when you saw him on the other hand, rage has once again boiled in your heart.

"get out." you tried slamming the door close but his feet was faster, slipping in to the gap of the door and the frame. he winced a bit from the impact but that's the least of his concerns right now.

"wait, shit, can we talk-"

"what more do you want from me?! im finally gone from your life and now you got here to torment me more?!" if you were any stronger, you could've turned his feet into mush. "no, im here to apologize-!"

"i dont care! fuck off!" oh he is not giving up. fortunately for him (not for you) he is stronger and managed to keep the door from closing. "can you please just listen to me!!"

"go away!"

"no!"

this went on for like an eternity until someone inside your apartment held the back of your shirt and pulled you away from the door, making it swing open from scaramouche's force. "xiao, what the fuck let go!!" turns out venti called his boyfriend from their room while you and scaramouche were fighting. while xiao was holding you back from basically doing second degree murder, scaramouche carefully set his helmet down on the floor, avoiding your attempt at swings. (your previous hit hasn't even fully recovered yet.)

"(name) calm down, be rational. nothing will be solved when you're acting like a maniac and wont communicate." xiao said sternly. "how can i when he's the exact reason as to why im here right now!" at this statement, venti's expression became dark.

"what."

you got out of xiao's hold and stormed back inside your room, slamming the door close. xiao followed you in. scaramouche clicked his tougue, about to follow you when someone stoped him, "(name), wait-!"

"hold the fuck up." venti grabbed his shoulder. "you're the bitch that got them here?"

"yeah, so?"

"get out."

"let go of me." scaramouche shrugged venti off. "besides, that's what im here for." he looked at the room you went into with an unreadable look.

"do i have to repeat what i said? fuck, not only are you stupid but deaf too? get out." venti mocked him. 'what the fuck he was giggly just a minute ago.'

"ok listen, i just want to apologize to them. i know i fucked up and im basically ruining her life right now that's why i want to take responsibility. can you at least tell her that?" it is clear how scaramouche regrets what he did. venti's look sharpened. "how do i know you're being sincere?"

.

.

.

.

.

.

"(name)?? can you please open the door?" venti knocked on your door. after a few seconds, the door opened to xiao. "where's (name)?" xiao pointed at the bed in the corner of the room. there he sees you lying down, face buried in your pillow. "they won't talk. like at all, ive tried everything." xiao sighed.

venti has been your roommate ever since you got kicked out from your house. xiao is his boyfriend of 3 years and they're both two yeas older than you (xiao moved in a year ago). thanks to the both of them, they are basically your older siblings now. they did what your brother never could. they took care of you the past few days, even if they're both busy with their degrees. they would leave food in the fridge, remind you to take your medicine (they both have alarms of when you need to take your medicines), they bring you food in your room when you insist that you dont want to eat, saying, 'even if you don't want to eat, you need to. ' and proceeds to spoon feed you (even if it's embarrasing), and is just genuinely worried for you, especially when you came home that day with aether carrying you on his back.

"do you think they're asleep? how do they even breathe..." venti walked closer and sat down on the side of your bed. "hey (name), I know you can hear me so listen up, ok?? sca... or whatever his name is, wants to talk to you and to apologize for what he did and he wants to take responsibility. he said he's gonna get you back to school no matter what it takes and he is also sorry for being insensitive."

no answer.

"he's gonna pick you up at 6:45 tomorrow. i wasn't gonna tell you any of this because he doesn't seem sincere until he proved it to me earlier. just talk to him ok?? i know life is shit but you have to keep going to prove yourself to your parents." he pats your head. he looks around the room and lands his gaze on your desk which if filled with books and notes. it seems like you haven't given up yet which made venti smile.

"sleep well (name), goodnight."

as they both got out of your room, xiao spoke up. "what did he do to prove himself?"

venti winked. "it's a secret."

and that's how venti got a huge bite mark on his cheek.

.

.

.

.

.

.

oh you heard everything. what does he mean he's picking you up tomorrow?! prove himself? how?! what responsibility?! he's making it sound like he got you pregnant!!

and he actually DID come the next morning. venti informed that you didnt get ready like at all and you know what bro did? he waited. in the living room. the whole time. he went 'hurry up we'll be late for first period' as if there's nothing wrong with anything.

so fast forward, he managed to convince you to go with him (reluctantly). what you didn't expect though was to be met with his (motorcycle brand), infront of your apartment.

"i am not riding that."

"we are riding that, here put this on." he said as he hands you a helmet. you gave it back to him as you turned around, about to go back inside the apartment but he pulled you back by your collar. "fucking- PUT IT ON WERE LATE." he exclaimed as he gave you a frustrated look.

"you're lucky that I actually felt guilty and went all the way here for your stupid ass. now get on I don't have all day." scaramouche said as he slotted the helmet on your head and got the engine started. you reluctantly sat behind him, sitting funny. "have you ever rode a motorcycle your whole life?"

"I have but, not like this one!" there is an inch gap between you and him causing you to sit funny. then he jerked the motorcycle forward by suddenly revving the engine causing you to lose balance and slip, so now you're the closest to him than you ever were.

"hold on tight, I like driving fast."

"what. wait--WAIT I'M NOT REA- wAIT-! YOU ABSOLUTE AS-!"

----

this went on for weeks. he would appear on your doorstep, get you both to school and when classes end, he'd drive you back home. and, yes, you did talk but it was more like recounting the old days, sometimes laughing at the stupid stuff you both fought over before. and he apologized, of course. and it was a well said apology, it's as if he's been practicing (he was). you forgave him with the promise of him watching his mouth the next time because if he won't, then you wont be the only victim of his sharp words.

when you arrived at school that day, your friends immediately tackled you into a hug. they were saying about how they were so worried about you and that they miss the daily bickering you and scaramouche does. they also mentioned how scaramouche has been out of it these past few weeks (which is weird because why would he do that ahhahaha...). Aether literally went into tears when he saw you walking down the hallway saying he missed you and shit and that he has to eat lunch with his sister which was torture (his words not mine).

what irks you though is the funny look they give you everytime you and scaramouche walks through the classroom doors at the same time. so you were like;

"can you walk up first, they're looking at us funny everytime."

"stop being dramatic." and proceeds to tug you at your sleeve.

he's not gonna lie, he likes the look your friends are making. he also likes the red on your face everytime. ever since you've returned to school, he's making the effort to minimize your fights (except for the fun ones) and to actually get to know you better.

through this, you've also got to know him better. and this made you realize he actually isn't that bad (if you really think about it). you now know he prefers bitter food over sweet ones, he cooks really good, he has a sister that almost looks identical to his mother, he has a really short auntie, he has a list of future victims (you don't want to know what that means), and he's genuinely just a chill guy. you just got on his bad (playful) side the first time you met him.

though there are times where he gets a bit... unwell... but we all have that in us, right? the thoughts? well, i mean, i can hear it everyday so I hope you do too<3

"venti i am fucked."

"alright let's get you to the abortion center."

you looked at him perplexed, "what?"

"you said you got fucked, let's go."

"NOT LIKE THAT." you facepalmed. sometimes you wonder if he really is two years older than you.

"hehe im just kidding, what is it?" he giggles as he continues to stir the pot as he was making dinner. "i do not feel safe around him anymore." you muttered while nibbling at a piece of vegetable.

"who."

you shrieked after hearing a new voice. venti turned around to see what's going on. there stood behind you is xiao, who just got back from class, he got his piercings and everything looking like he will beat you up if you breathe. "you scared the fuck out of me, can you make some noise when you get home next time?" you calmed your beating heart as xiao apologized. "but yeah im talking about scaramouche. he's acting... different."

at this, venti perks up, "oh? what kind of different?"

"i do not like that look on your face."

"c'mon tell me!" venti now has his full attention to you as he passed his apron to xiao so that he can take over dinner.

"well, he's weird. i mean, he keeps doing weird stuff and im not saying im uncomfortable with it's just... unusual? did he really feel that guilty to the point where he drives me to and from school everyday?" you slumped on your chair, fiddling with a fork. venti let's out a hum, tapping his cheeks as if he's thinking. "have you ever considered that maybe, just maybe, he likes you?" he adds.

"what?"

venti goes around the counter and sits beside you, "like, romantically. let's enumerate! he drives you to and from school, walks you to your class, buys you coffee when you lack sleep and he KNOWS you lack sleep, wakes you up in class, picks out your favorite flovors in a pack of gummies, shares lunch with you, lends you his notes, uhhh what else...-"

"WAIT WAIT THAT'S ENOUGH!" you flung your hands, embarrassed. "how can you even be sure! aether also do some those sometimes, and we're really great friends!"

venti stared at you, "ok first of all, aether is gay he literally has a boyfriend. second of all, i know this because xiao also did all these 'cringey' stuff before and hey, look at us!" he hugs xiao and they almost fell on the floor.

"aether has a boyfrie-?"

venti squished you cheeks, "that's besides the point! listen to me (name), i am a love expert, i know what im doing. i can even tell you what xiao did that will match with what scaramouche is doing-"

"dinner's ready." a pot filled with delicious food is placed at the counter by a blushy xiao. "venti, i love you, but please shut up." he says, embarrassed.

the next day, you payed better attention to scaramouche, hoping to prove venti wrong.

and boy were you the wrong one.

the way he holds your hand when he speeds up while driving his bike, when he stays after he's dropped you off in your apartment to ensure tour safety, the way he puts more effort in his hand writing so that you can understand better, the timing he has when you are in an uncomfortable situation, the little shapes of fruit in his lunch that he shares with you, when he brings hair clips when your hair gets in the way of work,

it goes on forever.

so then you decided to confront him one day.

"scara, do you like me?"

you both are currently outside, studying for an upcoming test. scaramouche answered without a second thought.

"yeah."

"no, like, ugh... this is embarrassing, i meant, do... do you like me, romantically?" you rephrased your question. this made scaramouche ponder. should he answer honestly? lie to your face to keep whatever is going on between you two? give tou the silent treatment, perhaps?

"actually y'know what, dont answer that i-" you were cut off by the contact you feel in your hands. he clasps your hand gently across the table. he looks at your locked hands, unease creeping into his system.

then, he finally opens his mouth, "if... if i tell you the truth, would you.. still stay by my side..?" you can feel his grip slowly tightening. "i like what's going on right now, it's basically routine to me now. i... i like going to your apartment every morning, i like making you bentos, i like sharing notes with you, i like...i like competing with you every test, i like being the first one to get to your chair but i also like the light in your eyes when you get there first...!" he's shaking now. he goes quiet for a bit then goes for a deep breath.

"...i like you, okay? its not even funny anymore, i can't get you off my mind... i know i despised you before, to the point where i would steal your notes back then-"

"so that's how you found out about my address..!"

he got red,

"that's-! that's not the point! and- LET ME TALK DAMNIT IT'S ALREADY HARD WHEN ITS EMBARRASSING!!-ahem- when you didn't come back i felt really guilty and i keep looking at the damn door whenever anyone comes in expecting it to be you and i felt really stupid that time. i hate how you make me feel stupid, i hate how stupid you are, , making me do stupid stuff... but i like you and i can't help it..." you can feel his hands getting cold and shaky.

"...and if you dont feel the same, then i will just kill mysel-"

"NO WAIT HOLD ON-!" you stood up bringing his hand with you. when he finally looks up, he's in the brink of tears. you held his hand "i just asked a question and you're out here announcing suicide..! i just wanted to clarify... so that i wouldn't look stupid confessing to... you and then getting... rejected..." you trailed off. you can already feel your whole face heating up, blood boiling in your stomach.

now there's two idiots outside in the park, blushing like no one's business, staring into each other's soul. one is in the brink of tears while the other is standing straight like a statue, unmoving.

after a good minute or two, after the thoughts processed, one of them couldn't hold it in apparently. tears streamed out of indigo eyes and he hurriedly tried to wipe it away, to hide the evidence of how fragile he actually is. you scammered into your bag to find something to wipe his tears away. when you got near him, you found yourself covered in him, he is grasping whatever he can hold of you, clammering on your clothes as if you are his life line. he is all over you, babbling nonsense. you can only make out some of his words like;

"fuck i thought i would have to fight my thoughts again-"

"you have no idea of what you're doing to me-"

"tell this to anyone and i will chase you down to childe's ass crack-"

"fuck i love you so much do not leave me please-" and

"I'll still take your seat, i don't care-"

literal nonsense and yet you can feel the love radiating off him at that moment. he is sobbing and furiously wiping his tears.

cofessing your feeling to someone that radiates as much personality as scaramouche is a win lose situation for you. but to him? it's either he dies or he lives, there is no in between.

extra;

when scaramouche got home, he is met with his mother at the door, a spatula in her hand.

"mom put that down, please-"

"you're late."

"it's 6pm."

"yeah and you're late. also, why are you wearing sunglasses? are you doing drugs?" ei kept throwing questions at scaramouche while he is desperately trying to remove the spatula out of his mother's grip. "mom, please i was just out with my lov- friend-- and please let go of the-"

"FRIEND?? who is this friend? you have a friend?! why didn't you tell me?!--"

"mom-"

"kuni, this makes me so happy! you have a friend! invite them over right now, i made dinner!" ei smiled at her proudest achievement.

scaramouche paled.

"YOU MADE WHAT?!"

*scara wearing sunglasses bc is eyes are puffy*

[icarusmonsoon]

healed wounds, mended hearts pt II - rafe cameron

rafe cameron x reader, enemies x lovers, a lot of fluffs and angst between the characters and Y/n, hurt-comfort, a short fanfic series

Part I

___________________________________________

PART II

Rafe

A soft thud was heard from his back, he wasn't sure what made him turn in the middle of preventing Pope from dumping the cross into the ocean but he did. They both did. Rafe can see a familiar figure laying on the floor, blood soaking their side with one of his dad's man looming over them. His heart stopped when he realized who that was, anger spiking up at the thought of what just happened.

He stepped away from Pope, with him doing the same as he just now realized what had happened. Rafe thought he was supposed to be bright. How come Pope didn't realize his best friend was hurt and just now noticing because he stopped coming after him?

"Y/n" he mumbled to himself as he strode past containers, urging himself to get to that man as fast as possible. Anger washed over him with the thought of her being hurt. "Bos i-" There was no time for the man to finish his sentance because the minute Rafe got to the smirking man, he pulled his collar upward, his other hand strangling the man's neck from the side. "You did that huh? You fucking stabbed her?"

"Yeah Bos said to-"

"It doesn't matter what my dad said because i am your bos too, no? Besides he ordered you all to make them leave! And you fucking stabbed her." He spat, his blood ran hot through his whole body.

Rafe punched his face, again, and again, and again. All he see was red, his hands, his vision, the man's face.

"Y/n! Stay with me okay? You stay awake. Fuck! Y/n?" He heard a voice called out in the back and it pulled him out of his mind. Y/n.

Rafe let go of the pathetic man, throwing his body intentionally harsher to the wet side of the floor. He turned his body to face her frail figure with her head leaning against Pope. Her eyes was closed, and he knew. He knew there was not much of an option. And at that exact moment he doesn't care if her friends don't agree, he doesn't care if she'll hate him the next time she sees him. Pope looked forward, their gaze locking, realization so prominent in Pope's pleading gaze as it filled with panic and desperation.

They both realized it was the only way to save her. They have a doctor onboard, whereas if she goes with the rest of the pogues, no one exactly knew where they'll lay ashore, if they'll find any land at all. They were all in the middle of nowhere, that was the only thing they were sure about.

"She has to stay"  Rafe said to him, and though they both knew it, the boy shook his head. Denial clouding his senses as he wrap protective arm around Y/n's limp body, preventing Rafe to go near her. "No there must be another-"

Rafe stepped forward, his arms flying to his sides with frustration. "For fuck sake Heyward you do realize we have a doctor here? And what are you freaks planning to do to her? Huh? Stitch her wounds with what Kiara's hair tye? In the middle of the fucking oce-"

"Just- shut up! Cameron. I get it, okay? But I don't trust you people to just leave her here. That is way out of the option"

"So i guess you have a better idea, yeah? Look, I don't give a single shit if anything happens to you all, but you have to trust me when i say this Heyward. I'd rather that" he pointed at her wound "I'd rather be the one got wounded than seeing her like this. Please, I cant live witho-" he stopped himself.

"I can't live knowing i didn't do anything to save her Pope, and i think you do too" he said, his eyes gleaming with frustration and a desperate need to do something. Pope saw something he had never ever seen before, a side so out of character for the Cameron boy. God, a boy like Rafe wouldn't ever say the word please to anyone, let alone someone who is both a pogue and his enemy. Pope literally saw tears on his eyes through his own blurry vision.

Cleo was the one to act out, grabbing Pope by the shoulder whispering things as a sign to leave. They all knew the consequences that could occur if they dont act fast. And right now all of them were distracted enough to not cause any more trouble for both sides. It was a free pass for the pogues, and a guarantee for the cross's safety for Rafe.

"Just go, before i make the call. I don't care, use the lifeboat if you want." Rafe said before he knelt down, his hands hovering over Y/n's body for a second as if he were contemplating whether or not to touch her without any consent. He was a terrible human being, a mess, but not ever a person to take advantage of a woman. His mind flashed to the day he almost drowned Sarah, the guilt taking control of his emotion. He knew he was wrong, but it wasnt like he can control himself. He really needs help.

But he realized this was an urgent call as he decided to do it nonetheless. He scooped her up, trying to be as gentle as possible whilst holding her close to his chest as he stood up, his one hand opening his phone to call for backup bellow Y/n's body.

Both Pope and Cleo looked at him as they slowly walked backwards. "Just take care of her, if anything happens to her i swear to god we'll get you Rafe" and with that, Cleo pulled him further away from them and left, trying to find the others with hearts as heavy as stones.

To be continued...

Part III

NO SMUT YET BUT I PROMISE YALL ITS HAPPENING SOON

[britt-kageryuu]

It's kinda Stupidly Late into the night, and Leo decided since sleep is not his friend tonight, he'll stream to any fans that might also be also awake at this time. Apparently there were quite a few people watching, though many might be in Europe or Asia for all he knows. River and Shelldon were charging so no one was really moderating the stream or chat.

His model is in royal blue sweatpants with subtle Hamato Clan symbols as a pattern, a loose white tank top with a cartoony trans pride turtle graphic, his long tailed mask, and bunny slippers that had their ears tied with blue ribbons, and little felt swords on the sides.

He's laying on a huge multicolored beanbag chair that was made to hold Raph, and the background was set to a light blue tye dyed starry void. With sparkles!!

"I sometimes wonder how worth it, it would be to just be a normal turtle just swimming in a pond somewhere, probably annoying the other turtle species, maybe bask on the back of one of Dees' distant cousins, until they try to eat me." Leo rambles while staring at the ceiling. "If I would even care about anything else? Not care about my family... now I'm just making myself depressed. Gotta remember that as a normal turtle I wouldn't be able to be with my Bunny Boy." He let's out a sigh, and kicks his feet a bit, then lifts his legs, and stares at his slippers while wiggling his feet.

Chat is filled with random spam of emojis, hearts, random messages that just get lost right as they pop up. Though an ad for Grandma CJs Bakery pops up with a note about international delivery.

Leo turns his head to the side, and drops his legs back down. A few seconds later Donnies model in just his purple hoodie, purple socks, and black shorts, walks into the scene before just flopping onto the beanbag on his plastron next to Leo, letting out a noise that was a cross between a groan and a hiss. His rear end is unintentionally facing the camera, and his tail seen drooping across his legs.

"What brings you to the studio at this dreadful hour mi hermano?" Leo asks while trying to sit up, though it's a bit hard with the beanbag, and his brother on the other side of said beanbag.

Donnie lifts his head to look at Leo with a slight glare that loses some of the effect without his mask with his eyebrows. "If you must know. I had a dream I was getting married to someone, but every time I looked at the other person, they kept turning into someone different." He looks more disturbing as he talks, "Then they turned into Dad in a skimpy wedding dress!!! I ran away, crashed into Ke- someone also in a wedding dress, then woke up after falling out of bed." He then tries to bury his head in the beanbag while letting out another odd sound.

Leo just stars at Donnie while his face cycles through a few emotions just processing what he just heard. He then leans off to the side reaching for something while trying to not get up. He pulls himself back with a couple things not mapped to a model in his hands.

"Would you like to look at random memes while drinking your favorite drink, or do you want to continue trying to smother yourself out of despair?" He offers, while lifting what is apparently a tablet, and drink containers.

Donnie quickly grabs the drink and has a hard time turning over, but makes it, and leans onto Leo who looks up something on the tablet.

They spend then next number of hours reacting to various memes that the viewers don't get to see, though they could kinda hear some of the audio when they switch over to video meme compilations. They laugh, cringe, and have weird looks while watching. Occasionally one of them gets up to get more drinks, or head to the bathroom.

Though at an early hour probably close to 6-7 Mikey comes in with a slightly disappointed look and askes what they want for breakfast. The stream ends shortly after.

---------------------

Masterpost

I was going to have Leo call Donnie 'My Purple Twin' in Spanish, but Google translate would give me different ways to write/say it depending on how I asked it.

[katsukikitten]

Sero, Denki, Kirishima, Mina, and Bakugou share an apartment.

Bakugou finds a lacey, worn thong on the couch, right in his spot where he sits every morning like clock work. Everyone in the house wears boxers, including Mina, although she calls them boy shorts cause they make her "ass phat" and Bakugou should know he's always taking their clothes out of the fucking dryer.

"Who did this?" Bakugou is that silent scary mad as he gathers the three guys around the couch, Mina couldn't be found this morning. Bakugou hasn't even had his coffee yet, it sits in his hand that's getting dangerously hot. Especially as the guys do the opposite of what Bakugou thinks. He thinks everyone will deny it but no, no that couldn't be his friends right? That would require shame.

Instead they're arguing over who the conquest belongs to.

"BRO! I'm telling you that's from the hot dime piece I brought home yesterday. We were getting hot and heavy on the couch." Denki wiggles his eyebrows at the end and Sero gives him a shit eating grin.

"Yea? Same 'dime piece' that left right after you shoved her away to throw up on the fire escape? Those belong to the girl I brought up last night. She out smoked me and gave me the best head of my god damn life. I'm keeping these." Sero goes to reach for them but Kirishima wraps a large palm around his wrist, glint in his red eyes.

"No." His voice is even, although dark, "They're my pretty girl's."

"Please." Denki rolls his eyes, crossing his arms, "You mean the girl you've been bringing around? How the hell did she leave her thong when you're too scared to even grope her tits through her shirt?!"

Their arguing grows louder and louder, further sending Bakugou's delicate blood pressure through the roof causing him to explode.

Literally.

"ENOUGH! I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ON WHO MAYBE FUCKED WHO ANYMORE I WANT THEM OUT OF MY GOD DAMN SPOT!" His hands pop and his coffee mug is in pieces on the dark wood floors.

Mina pops into the apartment, two Starbucks coffees in hand and a brown paper bag. She's oblivious as to what's going on, glancing up to see the group of warring men she pops off one of her over the ear head phones. Quickly spying the bright red lace thong on the dark couch cushions.

"Ah man sorry bout that." She reaches over Bakugou and his mess to fist the thong and shove it into her pants pocket, "Things got a little heated on my date last night."

"Oh man nice Mina!" Denki holds up his hand for a high five, that she gives but not without comment.

"You're such a pig!" Mina rolls her eyes, "But unlike you I bring my one night stands breakfast in bed."

Bakugou just catches movement out of the corner of his eye, watching a very mortified Momo in one of Mina's oversized pastel tye-dye tees before she rushes back to the end of the hall.

"Oi." He growls to the group catching their attention, "Yer piece of ass just heard everything."

Mina shoves Denki out of the way, rushing with the breakfast towards her room, worry on her face. While the other guys look embarrassed, eyes everywhere but the couch or Bakugou.

"Get some fuckin shame." Bakugou growls at the group, he flips over the couch cushion before sitting down.

"And stop fuckin on my side of the couch."

[ilikelookingatthings]

Some radiostatic theories

SO I like many who have watched read or come across hazbin hotel have gotten a mini fixation on the character Alistor, a red suspitious always smiling, radio deer cannibal serial killer, and Vox, a TV headed hynosis demon who is persuasive with his grin and is one of the overlords in the v club(including Valentino the moth man who runs a porn studio and Velveete who is a influencer fashion demon).

For me it's the draw of the t.v. killed the radio star vibes. They clearly used to be friends as vox is obsessed with him where Val brought him up to get under his skin, he has a old ripped picture of alistor and he had apparently asked alistor to join them before and was turned down... they clearly had big falling out.

There is alot of fun to play with. Some enjoy the one sided potential drama of vox being in love with alistor and that not being reciprocated because alistor might be somewhere on the acespectrum(not that alistor seems complete aware of that since he had no idea what Rosie meant when she called him a aceinthehole).

most who enjoy the one-sided view call it radiosilence.

Some enjoy the angst that is the pain of losing a friend when you don't return the romantic feelings. And that vox is the one at fault for leaving alistor behind by going with Val and Velveete and letting the chase of what's new creating a rift.

Some enjoy the idea of bitter ex boyfriends.

That the obsession isn't as one-sided as alistor didn't ignore vox's provocation.

Some make it about just romance being tye reason for the fall out...

....but honestly for me they give a kindof mister crabs, plankton energy. They are both in hell so are terrible people to some degree sp it would be a bit boring if the fall out was just about romance...a possible good opportunity to address unrequited love or the spectrum maybe but does feel kindof simple.

Especially considering the potential in rival best friends turn enemy old men have.

Friendship wise its already juicy for angst. Was it a misunderstanding? Lots of built up problems? Drifting apart as friends? A sense of betrayal on both ends?

Some people lean over one being more at fault than the other. A few lean to them both sucking. Some say jt was vix who didn't respect alistor just didn't like him back...others say it was alistor rejecting vox.

I would like to raise the theory that if vox DID have a crush on alistor...vox either didn't know he had it...or vox decided to not adress it because their friendship was more important to him and he could tell alistor didn't like him back romantically and that their fall out was from other issues in their friendship...like potentially love coukd be why vox felt more extremely hurt but I think it would be more interesting if vox's issue wasn't about unreturned feelings.

Like what if vox tried to distract himself to maje sure alistor wouldnt feel uncomfortable to make sure alistor didn't catch on to his crush and hence Valentino steps in who alistor might find worse in general?

And if it really was just a business partnership vox offered where he was just hurt his friend didn't join him on.

Makes me way more curious about their dynamic if their friendship was sincere but issues popped up.

What theories to others have that it might have played out? I'm just saying for someone who says he hates alistor why did he keep the side of the photo that has alistor on it and not himself?

What if alistor was the one with a crush but vox didn't realize is another interesting one since alistor is so pissed he seems to hate TV and other things involved vox despite how new media is interesting and alistor does know how to shoot a commercial and this way he does get vox's attention.

We've also seen alistor have a questionable triebd in mimsy...but did he really tell Mimsy to leave ciz he was upset...or does he care and doesn't want her involved with what he's doing now? And could that echo what he might have done with vox?

Heck it could be possible neither is aware of potential romanic feelings at all. Are in denial. One sided...betrayal because they had unrequited feelings that weren't returned...or feeling betrayed the other had romantic feelings whether they wanted to act on it or not.

Maybe it wasn't about romance and about how they handled friendship? Or just creative differences in how they handled things...competion driving them apart or how hell encouraged your worst self to come out. Heck they both could just have bruised pride somewhere that escalated.

[lauriel816]

Pairing/Shippy list!

I was tagged by @1337wtfomgbbq :) already hyped up I’m sensing there’s gonna be a lot of fun 🤩

Here's the rules:

List your top seven ships.

Put all of them in order of your love for them; 7 to 1, 1 being your favorite.

Name their fandom.

Supply photos for said people.

7) Peter Pevensie & Edmund Pevensie (Narnia)

Geez. Is there even a proper tag for this?? Not many people ship these two I get it but I just, well, tend to drive down to an end off the beaten track. I really like their interaction in the first film and come to think of it, this was the first movie I’ve seen in movie theater so it kinda hits different.

6) Rogue/Shadowcat (Xmen: Evolution)

They clearly had some issues at first but ended up getting along really well. Enemies to roommates to friends in combat and… let it hang in there for a bit bcs there could certainly be a lot of possibilities so who knows :D I really enjoy watching them bickering like an old married couple. Could do this all day

5) Hiccup/Astrid (httyd)

Best anime couple ever! I love how their romantic relationship unfolds in rtte. A slow-burn, took a whole movie, plus three spin-off for it to blossom. Burns slowly but naturally and beautifully.

4) Logan/Scott (Xmen)

When you talk about Scogan there's no way you can get around talking about that scene where Logan flipped Scott off and Scott just acted cool and cracked a smile. It's all you need to board this ship. Ugh it's shame the writer decided to kill off Scott in The Last Stand. But fortunately it was rectified in DoFP (Don't mention Logan (2017)) and Logan still got years to beef (and highkey flirt) with his frenemy :D

3) Magfam (Cherik + Speedyson) (Xmen)

What I wouldn't kill to get more wholesome magfam content? For once can we forget about the angst and pain and just sit down and enjoy something of a rom-com, something light, a cute story of how a remarried family getting together. A remarried couple and their teenage son, who hasn't lived with his father for a single day before, try to work out together as a family. Isn't that what we all deserve?

2) Harry Osborn/Peter Parker (Spiderman(raimiverse))

Quality angst. Their story has everything you need for a classic tragedy. Geez, I remember crying my heart out watching Harry die in Peter's arms as a kid. It left such a massive impact on me that I'm still not over it to this day. I really hate it that NWH did them dirty, Peter out of character, and implying that Harry, being someone vengeful, died of his tomfoolery, making him a cue for some meaningless joke. That's not how they should be. They deserve so, so much better.

1) Neuller (Men's Football RPF)

My emotional support. My safehouse I could escape to. They are the reason why I'm here in the first place. Decade partners and soulmates on the pitch, two dorks who are always on the same wavelength and always seen together. For Thomas, Manu is the best goalkeeper in the world and the wall of steel behind him, always out there to defend so he could go full throttle forward without worrying; and for Manu, Thomas is his spokesperson on and off the field, leading the charge and helping him organize the defense. Together they grabbed almost all the titles they could. They complete each other, as quoted from Manu himself, Thomas is more than a teammate and he can't imagine a world without him.

Honorable nominees:

Silvercyclops (Xmen (movieverse)): It's a shame they never thought of exploring their friendship. What a waste of the chemistry between Evan and Tye.

Rogue/Gambit (Xmen (all media types excluding movieverse)

Lincoln/Alternate Lincoln (fringe)

Tagging: @manuelmueller @cincydrawing and whoever interested consider yourself tagged by me :D

[fuujinlol]

okay so, years in the future in the alpha(tye) timeline. shouchi has reestablished his friendship with byakuran, but keeps a careful, guarded distance from the obvious to both of them romantic potential, just refusing to go down that road. byakuran doesn't push for understandable "a bit of a guilt complex" reasons. in the meantime, shouichi's relationship with spanner blossoms into a committed romance, making the 10051 friendship this much more awkward, but they make it work, both unwilling to completely distance from each other.

BUT. well now that all of them are still friends, and adults, and need time off sometimes, maybe they all go karaoke, or bar hopping, or something, and maybe they get a bit too much to drink, and maybe some unwise decisions are made in the form of ill-advised making out, and then maybe spanner is like no go ahead let's take this home & they just Do before thinking it through

so... ot3 sex right. but like. for byakuran it's his one single chance with the one who got away. for shouichi it's An Obvious Mistake but one he's been wanting to make for years. for spanner it's watching his partner have sex with a guy he KNOWS he still has feelings for & being like. yeah sure go on. out of sheer thrill of risky bets on the strength of his relationship. and then for 10048 i don't even Know what this is but Something. letting out years of frustration at each other, for one thing

& i think the emotional risk and intensity for everyone involved. makes the sex OUT of the fucking world

Oh my God this wounds me in such a sweet way. I am bleeding with sympathy for how sad Byakuran would be, knowing he would never be with the person he was all but existentially bound across time and space to, all because of the future sins he never committed. Nonexistent sins that left scars he could never apologize for.

And yet I'm also laughing at the mental image of Spanner so coolly being like, yeah, go ahead. I already know I won the Shoichibowl you don't stand a chance against me. You ain't shit.

It's like some kind of uno reverse cucking. Byakuran is being cucked, oh my God

[sab-teraa]

Tye Talks: A Diary Entry

(22/02/24 || 22:58 pm)

Good evening friends, I hope you are all well and having a lovely Thursday! Just one more day till the weekend! Yay <3

Inspired by the lovely @the-winds-of-destiny-xxx , I've decided to start blogging about my day. Hopefully, I will be able to stay up to date lol.

Work

Ugh, I've been up since 5am prepping myself to deliver my second lecture of the semester. It went well, kinda. The students were super interactive which is great. Application + practicality > regurgitating information. They did super well. Also, we have a new HoD, and while I really liked our previous heads, the new HoD is a breath of fresh air and I really enjoy their approach towards education.

My full-time job is actually soooo … atm. My colleague has resigned which is all cool and I wish her the best.

But, there’s a trend I’ve noticed recently within our organization … and I hope it does not present any problems in the future. Tbh, I think it has presented a problem before … but idk. Anyway, constructive criticism goes a long long way … only if you’re keen and willing to learn …. which this person defo is NOT.

Enough about my colleagues, the CEO presented me with an opportunity but I'm lowkey nervous .. bc I prefer being a private + somewhat anonymous person lol, but I obviously said yes. Let's see how it goes, anything can happen and this whole project might fall through. Especially in this economy.

All in all, I really love my job and the career path I’ve taken. I hope it does not backfire on me later on in life.

Uni

Gosh. Uni is the bane of my existence atm. Tho, i did make a bit of progress on my thesis today. I know exactly what I need to do, but I just don't have the motivation to it. But, I think I've finally got myself together .. so let's see what happens.

Also, I'm so grateful for my thesis supervisor <3 she is so understanding and supportive.

Health

Is this tmi? Maybe? Apologies if so?

But, my nose and throat have been KILLING me recently? Idk if it’s bc of the fan or what … but yup. Thank god for cloves! They’ve helped wayyyy more than anything else I’ve tried lol. Also, my pms is really starting to hit 😭😭 I’ve been in soooo much pain since I got back home.

My mentally, I’m doing okay … there’s obvs moments in the day where I’m like shit?? I’m an adult adult?? Yet my life feels so stagnant 😂 but then I try to keep it moving and not think so much about what I want … and I try to focus on what I do have…. bc I’ve done my best.

Fun and mundane

I finally got to go to my first gym class of the week - I really needed that! The housewives from my class invited me for smoothies afterwards … and they are so fun! Are they my mums age mates? Yes 😂😂 but I loved hanging out with them .. they truly live in their own bubble .. I wanna be exactly like them when I’m older lol.

Oh Oh! And I finally finished the second season of Al Rawabi School for Girls ... flip, it truly broke my heart. What an amazing show.

I really wanted to start the new season of Real Housewives of Durban … but the new Showmax app is truly YUCK! I have the ick 🫠🫠 but, I love the show waaaaay too much, so I’d probs get over it soon lol.

Other than gym and catching up on tv, I made a delicious lasagna for dinner. I'm convinced that my homemade meat sauce and cheese sauce remains undefeated, or maybe that's just me being cocky lol. If I had more space, I would have defo attempted to make the pasta too.

I'm super excited for this weekend bc my friends and I are going to this art and music event and getting food afterwards. I also really wanna buy that duvet set I saw online ... since I'm no longer purchasing an apartment (recession boo boo boo 🍅🍅🍅), I may as well just re-do my current apartment lol. It already looks great, but I've been putting off getting a new duvet set bc I presumed I was gonna buy a bigger bed lol... so I've just been rotating between the two sets I have ... and damn they've seen better days lol.

Relationships

After all he has been through, my brother finally has some great things happening. I am so proud of him. I know he will achieve everything he aspires to <3 This has also done wonders for his self-confidence, he truly needed this, and I hope ... I really hope that it stays on this positive track.

Positive family news aside, idk if anyone saw the post about my uncle? But god damn I'm annoyed af. (Side note: He is my mums cousin btw; but my entire family is close). Anyway, my uncle called my mum to rant … and according to my mum he was sooooo proud of what he said to his wife??? I’m just disgusted. Idk how. His wife could forgive him for this. I’m so glad my mum put him in his place ✋🏽✋🏽✋🏽

I know its not about me and I have no right to speak on other people's relationships, but I hate seeing people put their all into a relationship and even go against their own family to be with someone ... only for their partner to treat them like this. His wife deserves soooooo much better and its sooo heartbreaking that she has to go through. My heart truly breaks for her. I pray everything works out for her.

Conclusion

Anywho … if you made it this far! Thank you for reading my ramblings <3 wishing you a lovely day! Stay safe babes 😘

[k0k1ch1111]

Plsss tell us about ur oc Hoshiko!

AGH!!! AAA!

Alr alr lemme copy the info I just edited into the previous post and then I can add extra !!!

This is a dice insert oc so main part IA about her and ouma ♡♡

Tgey met when they were both 8, hoshiko was making a mad dash away from her old orphanage and she jumped a wall and her dress got caught on a point part of the fence and when she ran she fell face first into his back and knocked him over onto the floor and almost got trampled by the other dice members She literally looks up from the ground and sees herself surrounded by a bunch of 7-12 year Olds in creepy clown masks and basically clutches her purse thinking she's gonna be robbed amd starts freaking the fuck out like "DONT TELL THEM I RAN AWAY PLEAXE DONT TAKE ME BACK I DONT WANNA GO!" ans starts spiraling into oblivion while ouma (8) is like stomping his feet throwing a hissy fit over her knocking her over and knocking his mask offMeanwhile some of the older (12 yr old) members are helping separate them hoshiko looks at him and is like oh my GOD he's so cool!?!??! (He isnt) she makes an attempt to ask who they are and gets a response of like "were a SECRET EVIL CRIME GROUP and were SUUUPER BAD so you CANT JOIN US 😡😡" and he makes them all run away, but forgets his silly little mask. Which she grabs and stashes in her bag, then runs after them Once she catches up she basically has been yelling after them for like 10 minutes so her voice is honestly kinda shot and she like whisper screams "you forgot ur scary mask thing!!!!" To which she gets a like begrudging "ugh... thanks :///" because In my opinion ouma is very picky when it comes to friends, it's either love or hate and she hasn't made it on the good list yet so all she was is a stranger who PUSHED HIM!! (Faceplanted)She she looks around at this group of people and suddenly tye urge to join them.hits her like a brick and she immediately asks if she can be their friend (which earns her a few smiles) and ouma kinda just... glares at her like :/// what do you add to the group ://///Little does anyone rlly know she's a very talented little pickpocket and she does a little rudimentary trick and steals something outta his pocket and that's her ticket in :>

Ok now onto more

Her first true friends in dice were 2 of the girls from the dice portrait in v3 (brown hair girl and blonde twintail girl. I named them Mika and Yui.)

She rlly wanted to get along with ouma but he made an effort t9 avoid her for a few days after she joined bc he was still annoyed that she made him trip and look stupid

He kinda started seeing her as a talented liar and a good person to be around when she started showing admiration for him

Like when she was designing her little uniform she decided to wear her scarf like he does because "it's suuuuper cool :]"

she proved herself to be a good thief and a pretty good liar so she ended up being the go to for schemes when her and ouma became friends

She has a very codependent personality so she puts like all her trust in him (mistake)

Other members warn her about it but she's already too deep in and starts mirroring his personality until it sets in and they're super similar to each other

Some silly little details I think about with her and ouma specifically

After they get close and hoshi becomes more of his like. Right hand man / second in command they end up talking a lot

Ik it's cliche as hell but they don't rlly lie that much to each other bc they can see through eachothwts bullshiy there's no point

As more group members join they try and split responsibility over like. Group chores.

They both have a commanding presence so whenever they like. Sneak into an abandoned apartment complex for shelter they kinda split responsibility with how to organize it

Theyre kinda sibling like but they aren't rlly related they just look similar

She has an insane amount of shit on him it's not even funny

Id love to write more silly hcs or stuff about her in her respective KG at a later point ♡♡

[beanghostprincess]

Okay so, I came up with this One Piece theory that I think no one else has come up with yet and I need to know what you think. So, one of the biggest mysteries in One Pice are the 3 ancient weapons: Poseidon, Pluthon, and Uranus. Poseidon was an ancestor of the Neptun royal family who could communicate with the Sea Kings, and her current incarnatio is Shirahoshi. Pluthon was a physically reproducible warship whoose blueprints were owned by Iceburg and Franky before being destroyed. But Uranus is a much bigger mystery, as we know nothing about it yet.

So I looked up what the names mean and Poseidon is the roman God of the sea, Uranus means sky of heaven, and Pluthon is the roman version of Hades, the greek god of hell. So Poseidon is the sea, Pluthon is the underworld, and Uranus is the sky. The meaning seem to go with the look of tge weapons: a mermaid is a sea creature, a warship is related to war, which many people describe to be hell on Earth, so Uranus must be sky themed, or at least it's theme is a creature that can fly and it's also somewhat godlike.

Now, after Robin develoeped her Demonio Fluer during her fight against Black Maria many people started theorising that her devil fruit was actually not a paramisha, but a mytical Zoan. Like how Luffy's Gum-Gum fruit was actually the Nika fruit. I really like this theory and it would explain why Robin seems to be much stronger than any average paramecia user, ever pre-timeskip. So it dawned on me: what if Robin (or rather the previous owner of her fruit) is Uranus?

Think about it: a theme in One Piece is reincarnation, or ratger the spirits of the previous generation coming back in the newst ones, almost binded by destiny. And Luffy, this generation's Joyboy, was unknowingly tied to Shirahoshi (the reincarnation of Poseidon) Franky and Iceburg (the owners of the blueprints for Pluthon) and Robin (possibly Uranus?) Long before he knew anything about the weapons or his fruit's true identity, almost as if faith was guiding him thowards them.

So I firmly believe that in the Final war against the world Goverment and the Celestial Dragons Shirahoshi will learn to controll her powers, Franky will rebuild Pluthon (also sidenote, some people also theorise that Noah and Pluthon were originally built by the same person and that Noah was like a less refinied/incomplete version of it) and Robin will awaken her devil fruit fully becoming Uranus: a flying sky monster of another world that's connected to the gods, since demons are fallen angels in almost all mythology.

And in the frontlines of Joyboy's army alonside her allies and friends, the Demon Child Queen will finally take revenge, having learned the truth about tye world, her heritage, and keeping her homeland's legacy alive, fully using the potential inside of her that she was made feel worthless and sinfull about.

Do what do you think? Did I got something wrong? Is it a strech? Would it fit with the themes and story or would it ruin Robin's development? I need to get an opinion from a One Pice fan

Oh, damn, okay- I just woke up so this is probably way shorter than what you probably deserve for this text, but, yeah. I consider it a good theory! It makes sense if you think about it that Luffy was tied to them from the start and it's true that Robin is the one to end the mystery and also become greater than she already is, especially since, as you said, her powers seem stronger than usual. However, I always leave theories like these to theorists because I am just awful at these things (I'm way better at analyzing characters when it comes to reading canon stuff). But if you want my honest opinion, I think it could work out if they wrote it well. I don't think it would ruin her character, I'm just thinking about how Oda (if this theory ends up being true) will pull the whole "Well, actually, Robn's fruit isn't what you think! hA!" because he already did that with Luffy and it has to be a huge build-up to be interesting and shocking again.

[sweetlywingedcreation]

📻 what are some things tye and gabe feel for each other 👀

oh, you have no idea what you've unleashed!!!!

I know the ask is supposed to be one random song but you're getting 3 from each playlist because these boys make have made me insane for YEARS now amd i'll explode if i don't gush about them.

Gonna put them under a read more cause there is so much lol

thank you for asking and enjoy <3

my number 3 songs for Tye about Gabe:

Strawberry Mentos - Leanna Firestone

During their travels to get Tye's halo back and get intel on the Angel Trappers that had captured Tye the boys travel from town to town. It's slow going since Tye is still recovering from losing his wing. He goes through a pretty bad bout of depression and Gabe notices.

One day Gabe comes back with a lil bag full of Tye's favourite candies to cheer him up, something Tye only off-handedly mentioned once a few days back. That incredibly small but overwhelmingly thoughtful gesture, the fact he even remembered, is the very first spark for Tye that makes him realise he might feel something more for Gabe.

Favourite Lines:

You're deliberately kind, you make efforts to share your time You're not afraid of your feelings, and you're not afraid of mine I never knew love could be soft, I never knew love could be light And now I'm so helplessly sugar high on you

Ready Now - Dodie

Back to Tye's depression for a sec. During their whole adventure, Gabriel is only ever short with Tye once. The rest of the time he's patient, lets Tye open up slowly which he eventually does. Gabe gives him the room to recover from losing his wing both physically and mentally and he's forever grateful for it.

Favourite lines:

Something new, something strange Ten feet taller, I had changed I believe you, I'm not wrong Oh, it suits me to feel strong You said "I will listen, tell me it all You don't like the ending? Then we'll find one that's yours" Oh, how did you know? That's all we need? A promise of hope Is enough to feel free

Things That Make it Warm - Cavetown

this is mostly just vibes since the rest of the song doesn't super fit but like...

Tye loses his wing and then his depression and other injuries make it hard to groom the other one so Gabriel does it for him. Wing grooming is a bonding ritual between Angels and those they trust (friends, family, etc) so he's initially nervous about letting a guy he's known for like a week do it but it easily becomes the best part of each night. Gabriel is gentle with him. cautious of his injuries and it just makes him feel warm inside. Reminds him of the home he probably won't ever see again.

Favourite lines:

My feathers seem to have taken the brunt of the storm They are feeling pretty worn We finally found shelter tucked away inside a wall Though for now it's pretty small

my number 3 songs for Gabe about Tye:

Aphrodite - The Ridleys

First off i know about the bad luck surrounding comparing others to Aphrodite ESPECIALLY because she was my matron deity for a while but like cmon man...

It's Gabriel pining over Tye secretly (this is a VERY common theme in his playlist lmao)

He thinks he's the most beautiful thing to ever grace all three planes even when his feathers are all messy or he's all snotty from crying.

Tye is sweet torture when they're not together and when they finally do get together he can't believe how fucking lucky he is to be cosmically paired with this breathtakingly beautiful man.

Favourite lines:

I see the galaxies when I look in your eyes And I, can't speak, no, I, can't speak at all I swear to Zeus, you're Aphrodite in disguise Don't think that you could hide it from me Oh, no, I never thought I'd get this close to someone so divine Oh, I, can't breathe, no, I, can't breathe at all Aphrodite, could you, could you please be mine? Oh Could you please be mine? Oh, mine

"Do You Wanna Be Friends?" - Leanna Firestone

Gabriel pining part 2 but this time sadder.

It's about the Soulmate stuff.

One night in their travels they talk about stuff and the question of their soulmates comes up.

Neither have found theirs yet and without Tye's Halo he won't ever have confirmation if he does find a demon with his mark.

They talk about what they'd do if they never found their other half. Tye says he'd wait forever if he had to, that he wouldn't want to hurt either his Soulmate OR his potential future partner.

When Gabriel realizes his feelings he's stuck. Even though he didn't care about finding his Soulmate or whatever but Tye did.

He doesn't ever want to put Tye in the position of having to choose but he's also too afraid to show Tye his mark incase they didn't match because he can't imagine a world where they're apart anymore.

So he pines quietly, puts all of his affection in friendly gestures. Buying Tye his favourite candies, grooming his wing, helping make his cane etc

Favourite lines:

And so we'll be friends And I'll be okay The world won't end If you don't love me Even if it feels that way

Suneater - Leanna Firestone

This one is also for vibes???

I just think the lyrics accurately describe Tye in my brain and therefore in Gabe's too.

Favourite lines:

And I see the whole galaxy in your eyes And I long to tell you But I think it'll only make you shy You got the heart of a Leo But you're sweet like a Pisces And the only thing I know is I think I might be falling for The boy who swallowed the sun

And last but not least one from BOTH their playlists that kinda started their playlists to begin with and it would be a crime not to mention (EDIT: i checked the playlists and there's one song that predates LE by like a month but i assume its because i wasn't fully committed to making the playlist yet)

Life Eternal - Ghost

Its self-explanatory really... It's more vibes and soulmate bullshit :}

Favourite lines:

Can you hear me say your name forever? Can you see me longing for you forever, forever? Would you let me touch your soul forever? Can you feel me longing for you forever, forever?

It was the main catalyst for a whole series of drawings I did for them that really shaped my art for the better

Like this speedpaint and the drawing after are only a year apart and I might just do a third. Make this piece a yearly or semiannually thing

Anyways

if you made it all the way down here you are a fucking real one. Thank you for reading my 3-5 am rambles about 2 motherfuckers who I made all the way back in HIGHSCHOOL, forgot about until 2021 or 2022 and then proceeded to irreparably change my brain chemistry.

One day i'll actually work on their book/webcomic but until then

<3

[luckyshotwrites]

9 for drake?

Howdy howdy, Anon! Thank you for asking from the game!

9. How does Drake feel about Fearplay?

When other people do it, like Lev for example, he thinks it's a little unusually cruel. He won't go telling anyone anything though. Except Alexander, because Alexander never engaged in fearplay or anything more than, "I'm hungry." Then eating someone.

Regarding Drake doing it, he was in a similar boat to Alexander with the "I'm thirsty," then drinks. But, I can imagine if he's trying to scare someone for information, or (mild spoiler) Drake had a human who found out he was a vampire (beast) and they offered- you know what let me write it for you... ....

Drake could hear the thrill of the male's heart. Normally they'd pump with fear, terrified once they saw him drink from someone, especially if they saw that person fall to the floor. But in their case, Drake could tell they had more excitement than fear.

Drake approached him, already at his limit, after drinking from the three.

"You're a vampire-holy shit! Are they still alive?" The male asked; he backed up casually from Drake. His eyes filled with a lustful intrigue. 

I drank from that many, so I didn't take too much from one. Drake thought to himself. He wanted to erase the guy's memory and be done. But still responded out of courtesy, "I don't kill people."

The guy bumped back into the tree, "h-hey, wait, can't we-" his bandana got pressed up as his ponytail smushed to the bark. "I don't mind you drinking from me. I won't even tell anyone what I saw, I swear." 

Drake stopped ten feet from the male. A cord was plucked. "You shouldn't say that to a vampire." His voice left sternly and held a slight annoyance.

The guy lifted his hand, "I mean, you clearly need it." He gestured to his friends who lay on the ground. Drake assumed they were friends. The guy was a little further away from the group when he arrived. It was the reason Drake didn't grab him right away.

"So, I really wouldn't mind." 

Drake flinched like those words hurt him, and he gulped shallowly. The thin, lengthy dude pulled down the part of his tye-dye tank top to better expose the left side of his neck. 

"And you know, if you need a donor, I'd be more than happy...I mean, if-" There was a shift, he offered so casually, but Drake could hear the nervous admiration.

His ruby hue touched the male's neck, tracing it before coming back to his face. The temptation remained whether he was full or not. It was another flavor he had yet to have. Though, once his mind reeled the words through, comprehensively analyzing their tone and willingness, his slight annoyance festered. 

Drake clenched his fangs, opening them enough to speak. "You want to offer yourself to me?" A boil from his anger bubbled up a laugh. Plain, irritated, and done. "And remain a donor?" 

The male struck back with defensiveness, "you don't have to laugh at me! I was being..." He trailed off with wide eyes.

Drake's arms slacked down, filling with bones and pressing on the ground. He hunched, his plates cracking apart and spreading with the growth of wings that tore his hoodie. His legs, along with his face, started to bend and twist their shape. 

The male back pressed harder on the pine, terrified at the ever-growing monster until the signal to run triggered in his brain. He went off the side and sprinted out through the trees. They were close to the main campsite, so he thought he'd make it. He hoped he would, but there were no narrow spaces between these trees to help him escape the giant beast. 

He was yanked back by his tank top and released, then grabbed once more by its clawed hands around his head. Its fingers curled tight, going around his whole face and upper neck. The claw tips played with his skin. 

The male whimpered, "you said you-you-you don't kill people."

Drake lowered himself down, his other hand crashed into the dirt floor, and he made sure his curled fur smile could be seen by the human. 

"You offered yourself to me, didn't you?" The softer tone Drake once held fled, replaced by the fierce struggle from his different cords, "this is what you wanted, isn't it? You wanted me to take that offer and bite into you as if I won't overindulge." His mouth hissed open, splitting at the jaw to show the large fangs about the size of one of his hands. Venom dripped from them onto the dirt as he neared. 

The male's heart throbbed, trying to break from his chest. The mouth itself was big enough to take his head clean off. There's no way it would simply prick his neck. 

He felt that if he twisted, the firm hand would crush his skull, and then the beast would grab his corpse and drink from it like a yogurt tube, organs and all. 

He couldn't take the encroaching doom once its pointed tongue crept forward, ready to sample his face through its clawed fingers. He went limp before Drake reached him.

Drake knew the male's racing heart would make him faint. All it needed was a push. 

He let the male go. He knew he wouldn't stay out for long. Drake went to turn back. But, a sudden sharp urge fluttered in him like a flap of his wings. For a second, he reached again for the male, thinking of taking a bite. 

He forced the thought away and shifted back. 

He took him back to the camp, erasing his memory of the event but carefully leaving the part where he scared him there. It would be like a dream. He dropped the male in the spot he was before he attacked his friends.

They always assume I'm so innocent. Drake grumbled in his head. It was inevitable to be looked down upon for his weaker, flawless appearance. He hated to be looked down upon, especially by those far more helpless than himself.  

...

End scene. It's mild fearplay, but that's the only instance I could see him really doing it. He doesn't play with his "food" much.

Anyway, I HOPE THIS ANSWERED YOUR QUESTION AND HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY!

[booasaur]

Harlem spoilers

I loved the finale SO MUCH omg like Quinn deciding to take time for herself is so unexpected of a storyline but so actually good for her? Like she has been dating nonstop since the pilot so I think a season 3 storyline where she’s by herself figuring herself out is so good.

Then Tye. OMG what a TWIST. Aimee being Zoe’s Mom???? OOH I’m excited

Not sure how I feel about Angie getting proposed because it is fast but also it does kinda work for a Angie tbh and we don’t know how much time has passed really they haven’t told us

Then Camille her finally finally buckling down and focusing in her career when she’s been all over the place career wise since season 1?? And Pruitt maybe deciding to fight for her to stay?????? My god.

THEN. THEN THE CLIFFHANGER OMG THE CLIFFHANGER. It’s gotta be Angie right? Her storyline is the only one that would work with a pregnancy! Quinn can’t find herself if she’s strapped to a baby daddy (also I think we would’ve heard if Grace’s husband was becoming a recurring? Like I know season 3 isn’t confirmed yet but I just feel like that would be something we would’ve heard about if they were planning on making him more than a cameo and they would’ve put more effort into Quinn and Keith’s relationship if that was the case) Then Camille this whole season has been about her and Ian and her eggs I don’t see them rehashing that. Then Tye obvi can’t be pregnant. So it’s GOTTA be Angie I feel.

Thank you for the spoiler warning!

I already spoke about Quinn in the previous ask and lol, the Aimee and Zoe thing is such a mess. I wonder if they'll try to have Aimee and Tye make a go of it but it'll be too weird in the ennd. The Angie proposal definitely feels early but I suppose there's no reason to not go ahead with an engagement if they're both ready, and they seem like they are.

Very happy to see Camille winning at work and making a decision about no kids and not feeling guilted because Ian does want them and she's cost him so much already, which, to be clear, she didn't make him do any of this, but she feels responsible all the same.

Now, the cliffhanger. Both you and the previous anon implied that it can't be Quinn because it'd disrupt her finding herself storyline but I don't know if the writers would choose storylines based on least disruption, in fact, I kind of think they'd go for max. :x

It's true that it'd fit so well with Angie's storyline, but that's why I wonder if it might not be her. Or if it is her, then Mike's not the father. There's no fun in things going smoothly, as we've seen with all the other romances. I doubt it's Tye, of course, though I suppose one can never rule that out, but we'll put it in the least likely category for now.

The thing is, unless this is the last season, a baby doesn't really fit the show's vibe, though I can see them being supportive through the season during a pregnancy and rushing to the hospital at the end of the season to all be there for the baby being born. But then how would another season go? Bringing a baby to their lunches or constantly looking for a babysitter? So I wonder if possibly they might go with an abortion storyline, in which case I could see that being Camille's very tough arc, knowing how much Ian wants kids and the improbability of getting another chance at a pregnancy vying with her career and simply being unsure about it all. It'd be another reason to keep Ian in the show, since Tyler Lepley seems a regular along with the main four ladies.

On the other hand, the show may not go with abortion and instead highlight the dangers to expecting Black parents through pregnancy, delivery, and after, in the American healthcare system. In that case, I could see it being Quinn after all. And the show might decide that it's not going to be pigeonholed as just friends drinking and hanging out all the time and slowly work in children.

The other thing to keep in mind is that while Angie's s3 would be filled with the engagement/wedding, Tye with this romantic mess, Camille possibly with her career (and maybe Jameson??), learning to be at peace with yourself is more a passive thing. So, if they're trying to plan s3 storylines, that might be how Quinn's goes.

On the other hand, that seems brutal for her, to go from depression to, well, an unwanted pregnancy, to put it brutally, to then what, an exhausted mother in s4? Plus, like you said, the thing with Keith was so weak, like a little placeholder relationship that only existed to not be significant.

Honestly, I've just spilled out all my thoughts and really have no idea which way they're leaning. It all comes down to the stories they want to tell.

[hersheythecure]

There's a pit in my stomach I must tend to.

Today feels like depression.

How can I see the bright side?

My mind fears my death.

.

Hey. You feel uneasy and afraid because of the trauma and the chemicals it's releasing in us. Because of what happened to you, not just in the present but in your past. When are you from? How can I help you? What is hurting you today? What are you afraid to say?

I don't want to die.

Hmm. Okay. Would it help if we went away? If we went where we could get some help? Today we see our new psych. Maybe we can change medications and see how that helps. But then it'll take time and doing that alone isnt the best idea. It's best to be monitored.

How will we make sure things get done for the house next week if we're in the hospital¿ we can't drop the balls. There's so much to do. I'm overwhelmed.

What have we said in the past?

There will be things to do regardless. Take care of yourself first. Everything else can wait. We're a great problem solver so we will figure it out. Dint worry about anyone else. You matter. I love you. I know you. I hear you and feel you.

Ahhh the hospital. The fear that they will tra sfer you to a veteran hospital against your will. Even when you aren't a danger to yourself or others. Maybe let's call the hospital and ask them if they have beds first and what is their policy on veterans. If they automatically transfer them to the VA or what. That will help us know what to do next. I know it's scary. We just got abused at a mental health facility. I'm so sorry. So very sorry.

Mother Mary is wailing wondering what we have done to deserve this. Why does God hate her so much. Why does God want her to feel this crushing pain in her chest. In her soul. Why did he abandon me.

Oooooo that's good. Let's grab at that piece.

Why did he abandoned me.

Who has abandoned you MM?

My papa , my husband's, my friends.

Yea. I'm so sorry. We were just born into this moment in time my love and we're doing our best. With everything we're all individually feeling and experiencing. It's so much.

Keep in my our chemical imbalance from mass trauma is affecting our perception of reality. By that I mean we're extra sad because the seratonin is I'm this bijhhhh. So know that it feels heavy because our medication regimen is no longer fit for tye Cycle our body is in. Let's advocate for that today without psych. We need help with the major depressive disorder especially going into these coming months. If we can get something to help us have a littleess feel bad chemicals maybe we can benefit from the feel good chemicals. It will take some time.

Yea it's gonna affect out ability to get into the ptsd program if we check in now. Let's look at our options today. See how we can use resources to be a support for us while we are alone.

Maybe every night we can call the WARM LINE and vent. And ask them if they can email us a transcript. It's hard to write when we're in distress. Let's find out if that's possible today.

Your son loves you. He won't hate you. You're doing your best and trying ti stay alive for him. It's pretty hard to. But you're doing it. Even if you don't make it, someone knows how much you love him and hopefully someday he will see it.

We've got to write our will. He cannot be shown anything until he's 33. 5 years to live with his fully developed brain and develop skills to manage his mental to be able to withstand the force that I am. My thoughts. My life. Maybe that'd still too early. Maybe 45. Where he's learned more about life and his mind is solid enough to process and hold who I am. I don't want to ruin his life with my trauma and pain. I don't want him to feel bad because he did not know what I went through.

You do not want to cause him pain. So stay so you may decipher you to him. Only you know who you are and why you are and only you can teach him how to navigate this. No one in his family goes to therapy to better themselves and they will hurt him with their insensitive words. You've gotta stay. Please let me help you find your will to live.

It's 2024, we're in GA. We did everything to secure stable housing for our son. We got onto the MICUM program and started our track to getting back into the civilian world. It took almost a year of begging for help but we did. I know you're angry about that because how dare they hurt my human. But we redirected that anger with the help of our wonderful brain and the universe sending information to us. We did our best with our physical condition. We had a partner that helped but needed help too, but didn't take any of what was available to him as a support for a veteran with ptsd. Now I know it is because he did not want to get discovered for who he truly is. I sometimes wonder the pain his brain must be in. Focus. EMDR. It's going to be okay. We've got things to do today. I love you.