#and you come out with both lesbians being at least kind of dead

[inkbirdie]

so like. what the fuck just happened <- me after reading three 500-page books crammed with so much information that you would think there would be some context and answers as to wHAT THE HELL IS EVEN GOING ON THE WHOLE TIME

[shortpplfedup]

Only Friends Character Rankings Episode 2

Hoboy these boys are all in over their heads in various ways and to various degrees. Add in some Real World-style confessional action and the mess is MESSING. This entire episode is just this gif:

Here's this week's rankings, with last week's rankings in parentheses

🔺1. Ray (3)

Some kind of friendship can start from having sex.

I knew all it would take was some time and a little bit of lore and Ray was gonna shoot up the rankings for me, and so said so done. The lonely little rich boy with the dead mom, the lack of self-esteem and the alcohol problem...yep yep yep, all seems right on time. The way those strippers sniffed him out and swarmed him...they know money when they see it. Sipping from that flask in the early daylight OK I SEE WHAT IS UP. Becoming a bugaboo to the first person to take any interest...yup this all tracks. Topping the toxique roster this week.

🔺2. Mew (5)

But I think I figured out your weakness now. Me.

This kid is so smug, he really thinks he's smart, he thinks he's in control. He really, truly thinks he can domesticate that alley cat. Trying to turn a hoe into a housewife for real. He's playing a game with Top, and he knows Top knows what the game is, but he's still confident he can win. Tale as old as time.

🔺3. Boston (4)

At least I beat Mew at this...You know no one can beat me at this kind of thing.

The jealousy radiating in WAVES off Boston this episode...OOF. Is this even about Top, or is this about beating Mew? Bit of both perhaps? This kind of love/hate friendship is SO REAL. Boston's probably felt like he was losing to Mew the entire time they've known each other. A 'friendship' built on longevity and resentment? Delicious.

🔻4. Sand (2)

I can be your friend. You don’t have to hire me.

Listen, when Sand asked that girl to come see his plants because he doesn't have a cat I cackled. He's like 'we both know what this is, does the excuse even matter?' and I loved it so hard. And then Ray begs a little and he tells homegirl to kick rocks and I--sir, down horrendous ALREADY?! That thousand yard stare in the confessional when he says you gotta be careful not to catch feelings fucking a friend? He knows he's screwed and he's still going in because he can't help himself, the softhearted fuck.

🔻5. Nick (1)

We’ve slept together many times. So what is this? What are we to each other?

OH NICK NICK NICK BABYGIRL. Nick took the mightiest fall this week in the rankings, because he has no game AT ALL. He had one move and he used it, and now he's just down the rabbit hole, just dickmatized. This is exactly what I wanted, but it's in the in between stage now before he gets truly desperate, when I'm sure he'll be back to reclaim his top spot.

🔺6. Cheum (and April) (7)

It's a blessing to have a lover who gets along with your friends.

THE LESBIANS ARE HERE and it seems will be providing the stability to everybody else's full-tilt boogie, but appearances can be deceiving. Listen, if Jojo and Ninew throw in some lesbian drama in this mix I may expire. In case you don't know, there is NOTHING like lesbian drama. Otherwise, Cheum being Top's biggest cheerleader is totally gonna come back and bite.

🔻7. Top (6)

Whenever I take aim, I never miss.

I dunno why Top is always near the bottom of the rankings because he's probably the biggest mess of them all, but I think it's because he is the most aware of what's playing off here and therefore the least in danger. Everybody else is working with either limited information or a misunderstanding of self, but Top knows EXACTLY who he is and what he wants, and he's clocked everybody else in this little group too. And I'm not sure I believe a single word that comes out of his mouth as a result.

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

birthday and pronouns and fascism, oh my

since my birthday means it was time to update my blog bio, @actuallylukedanes made the excellent suggestion that i also post about it.

cuz while i needed to update my age (woo, a round number! maybe it won't take me six months of adjusting to remember how old i am, for once!) and i update my blog title constantly, sometimes more than once a day, lol...i also finally updated my pronouns.

so if you've known me for years or just happened by my little corner of the internet cuz you saw something you like, i don't know about you but i'm heading into my yeah maybe we're all gonna end up dead or imprisoned but i'd rather fight some fascists era as this coming year approaches.

so i'm here to support (and as much as i can, protect) my family and friends and people who need help, and i understand the battening down the hatches of every person who has to be more careful now, who can feel the precarity of their rights and safety more acutely than ever. i'm also worred about my own rights and safety, as a disabled queer mentally ill fat person in the world, whose only income is ssdi and only safety net is (wonderful, yet piecrust-precarious) community.

but i remain the same person who was labeled both 'ornery' and 'little miss contrary' by my grandmother as a child, and i suspect that's why my response to the truly horrific possible futures we could be heading into is Time To Get Louder Then. i don't plan to take ill-advised risks, but i also have no interest in quieting myself down.

therefore! since i have, for life/mental health reasons, ghosted my own blog for so long that i kind of didn't post through a lot of developments, i am here to say that my bio update includes pronoun changes because, well, pronouns (like people) change. though i haven't actually changed so much as figured out more accurate descriptors, over the last little while.

i've said on here for years that my gender is 'person wearing a red shirt at target' and that still feels true, because my identity is less a firm, specific thing than it is a lack of a thing. as somebody afab and socialized that way, some descriptors don't bother me at all, like terms of endearment from people i love. and broad common female pronouns (she, here) feel more clinical, somehow, as if that degenders them a little. whereas ones like 'ma'am' and even 'female' feel *more* gendered.

idk why that is, or why things that feel girly to me grate on my brain in the first place. but in my 20s and 30s, i couldn't explain why i identified as gay or queer yet was deeply uncomfortable with 'lesbian.' now i know, and as much as it feels like further complicating my descriptors (i've already got 5 different disorders! i contain multitudes!) it's a huge relief to have the language.

some of which, also wasn't new. i think i found the term agender a while back, at least a few years ago. i'd never seen a description that fit me before, not quite so well. i identify as lacking gender, wanting to exist outside of the recognition of gender--i understand the different gender labels/norms and respect them for other people, however they identify...but for me, gender feels like a lie.

it's only within the last year sometime that i finally figured out, with the help of resources via my best friend, that being agender fits under the nonbinary umbrella, which can also fit under the umbrella of trans. i've never thought of myself as someone with gender dysphoria, and that gave me this huge feeling of 'identifying as trans would be claiming something i have no right to.'

so i had to think about that a while. i had an epiphany moment (thanks to the barbie movie, of all things) where i had a physical reaction to a thing as if it were an attack directed at me. that was when i realized i may not feel like i have the right, thanks to internalized stuff, to call myself trans--but i feel part of the community whether i say it or not. and even though i don't mind 'she,' anytime my best friend refers to me with 'they' it gives me a little glowy feeling.

so, again, this might not be huge news for all of you. a lot of you have been my friends for years. but it's nice to officially add agender to my 'asexual queer-romantic' breakdown, and mentally expand the umbrella of where i fit, and with who. and it feels like well past time to do it publicly.

[starstruckodysseys]

she’s getting into something (he’s going all or nothing) —

(or: lanie doesn’t do bets. or lessons, for that matter. there’s also not a lot she wouldn’t do for her friends. unfortunately.)

(or or: the ep8 business date/craps game but a little to the left. extremely to the left, some might say. possibly not even on the map anymore)

“Okay,” Lanie says, because she’s pretty sure they’re getting confused here, “hang on, sidebar real quick.”

She drags Wendell-as-Vic off to the side, just enough that no one should be able to hear them. It’s both easier and harder than usual, but somehow not in a way that cancels out.

“Wen,” she says quietly, staring him dead in the eyes, not taking her hand off his shoulder. “Wendell. You are aware that I, actual person Lanie Woodward, am not a lesbian, right?”

He stares at her like he was not, in fact, aware of this. “…What?”

Lanie sighs, rubs at her temple. “I’m— what do you mean what? I flirt with half the customers that come into the store!”

“I’ve never seen you flirt with a guy!” he whisper-shouts frantically.

Holy shit. Holy actual shit. There’s a voice in the back of her mind that isn’t hers yelling at her not to cry, but she feels pretty damn close to it.

It’s not— Lanie is not subtle. That has never been a word in her vocabulary. If she grins and laughs and leans a little closer during conversation than strictly necessary, people assume things, and that’s easier than dealing with her actual emotions. But this is not that, has never been that. She’s aware that she’s an awkward third wheel in whatever the hell Wendell and Liv have going on, but she’d assumed everyone was aware of that. It’s, like, her entire deal. Usha winks pointedly at her and Dang laughs while Russell attempts to be comforting when she groans too loudly and Paula— well, Paula might not actually be aware of it, but that’s perfectly fine with her.

But anyway. She was under the impression everyone knew, for the most part. Hell, Dave’s gotten onto her about it numerous times! Which, to be fair, he kind of does anyway, but fuck him because she’s nineteen and already in debt and—

Lanie sighs. Swallows. Glances around for anyone remotely resembling a bartender. Finds no one. “Is there a bartender here?” she asks desperately.

The weird clown man in the back steps forward, bowing slightly. Lanie squints at him, recognizes him as the guy who set up the kiss bet, and nods.

“Can I get, just�� the strongest thing you have. In general.” She makes a vague hand motion that means nothing.

“Lan—” Wendell starts, stops, tries again. “Cara. I don’t—”

She waves him off. “I’m fine. Or, I will be fine in the next thirty seconds, if someone gets to it.” She raises a pointed eyebrow, something she’s never been able to figure out how to do as herself.

The clown man bows deeper. “Yes, ma’am.”

Lanie cringes, but nods, and he sets off to… somewhere. The where isn’t important. She’s currently unpacking the difference between what she’s meant the past few months and what everyone else has apparently assumed she’s meant. Or at least what Wendell has assumed she’s meant. Which is nothing.

She thinks she might have an aneurysm.

But that’s— they don’t have time for this right now. They have to learn how to play craps — and then pretend that they knew how to play craps the whole time, because Kingskin’s entire thing is crime and gambling and whatnot, and they can’t risk being found out now — so that Wendell doesn’t fucking die in the movie or whatever. Either that or he… kisses Liv on the mouth. As Kingskin and Vic Ethanol. She’s getting flashbacks to every high school party she ever went to.

Is it wrong that she doesn’t really care who wins? Probably. She’s also murdered several people at this point, so maybe her morals are a little off. Sue her.

Liv glances sideways at her when she sits back down. “Everything okay?”

“I think I’m going insane, Livvy,” Lanie mutters, just loud enough for only Liv to hear.

“Oh.” Liv frowns. “Do you want to head out?”

“I mean, I’d love to, y’know, survive,” Wendell cuts in, swinging around to sit on Lanie’s other side, which does not feel convenient if they do lose the game.

She’s not complaining or anything. It’s just impractical. From a logical standpoint. Obviously.

“They legally can’t kill you,” she says, bumping their shoulders together — a feat that’s a little more difficult now that their height difference… exists at all, really, but is more exaggerated than usual. “Pretty sure you made sure of that.”

“I didn’t do anything!” he protests weakly.

Lanie rolls her eyes fondly, and Liv laughs, and Wendell huffs but doesn’t say anything else. If she squints, it looks like he’s blushing, but that would be— well. Actually. It would be ridiculous on Vic Ethanol, sure, but she knows Wendell well enough that it’s hardly even surprising. It’s just… strange, seeing it on someone else’s face. Which is kind of a summary of their entire experience here so far.

The clown guy returns with her drink. He pauses in the doorway when he sees them, but recovers quickly, only looking at them a little suspiciously as he hands over the glass, the liquid somehow both muddy brown and bright pink at the same time. Right. She has a reputation to uphold, and the fact that her best friends slash main flirting targets are not women is not helping Cara’s whole lesbian thing. The lesbian thing being that she is a lesbian.

Maybe that’s Lanie’s lesson here. Stop being an obnoxious freak.

She’s never been good at taking lessons to heart.

“You all know how to play, yes?” French fry man asks — Pommefriete, whatever, it’s a stupid name. His accent is slowly getting less French and more incomprehensible.

“Um. Yeah. Definitely,” Liv says awkwardly. “But if we could get, like, a refresher? For the table…?”

This is going either nowhere or very badly and neither of those are great options.

“Just so we’re on a level playing field,” Lanie adds. If she leans a little more forward than necessary, well. “You wouldn’t want someone to have an unfair advantage, would you?”

Pommefriete shakes his head. “Certainly not. A refresher for the table it is!”

She lets out a very small sigh of relief. Wendell bumps their legs together under the table, and Liv flashes her a grateful smile when they make eye contact. She sends one back — it was Liv’s idea, after all. She’s just… using her resources. Yeah, that’s it. Pretty privilege works, kids.

Unfortunately, it isn’t enough to save their dice rolls, which end up being very bad. Lanie still doesn’t entirely understand how the game works, but the numbers are low and that’s not usually great in dice games. She leans back in her chair, lets out a low whistle. There’s not much else to do.

“Practice round,” Wendell mutters. Liv nods, determined.

Lanie takes a sip of her drink in preparation. It’s far stronger than she’d expected, even with her request, and it tastes strangely like nail polish remover. She coughs, attempting to muffle it with one hand and failing miserably. She’s still decidedly too sober to deal with literally any of this, so she takes another drink and pretends it doesn’t burn her throat on the way down.

There’s a tension in the air, electric and terrifying. Lanie isn’t even involved in the game, or the bet — they’d offered, but her luck has always been terrible — but she’s still on the edge of her seat. Metaphorically speaking, that is.

The dice clink against the table. Liv swears under her breath. Wendell goes deathly still. Lanie kicks back the rest of her drink before even bothering to look at the numbers. It’s entirely worth it once she does.

“Well then,” Pommefriete says, sounding just smug enough that Lanie actively resists the urge to not punch him in the face. “That’s the way the dice fall, I suppose. Or, roll, rather.”

He laughs as if he’s made some sort of clever pun, and not just a statement of fact. Next to Lanie, Wendell’s still completely frozen, and she covertly elbows him to drag him back to the present. He jolts, stares properly at the dice on the table, and seems to physically hold back a groan. She can’t say she doesn’t relate, and she’s not even part of the deal here.

“I, uh.” Liv moves like she’s going to mess with her hair, then seems to remember she doesn't exactly have hair to mess with. “Do we just…?”

Her hesitance is strange to see on Kingskin, but it makes it easier for Lanie to pretend that this is a normal situation for the three of them and not borderline life or death. Like they’re playing Truth or Dare at a sleepover, and not gambling Wendell’s life away.

The dynamite sticks out from behind the table. She thinks she sees red for a second.

Lanie has, over the course of their time in the movie and even before it, watched Wendell and Liv dance around each other. She’s seen Wendell forget how to form sentences like a functioning human, noted carefully as Liv’s feelings seemed to slowly blossom into something new. It’s cute, really, and she’s used to being the third wheel in their whole deal, used to being the advice girl, the therapist friend.

She scoots her chair back to give them space. Liv places one monstrous hand on her thigh to stop her and leans in.

It’s a painstakingly slow affair. Which is fair, because she doesn’t think either of them have kissed anyone before — not that she’s one to talk — and they’re two of the most awkward people she knows. When it comes to each other, at least. Thank god Liv is at least a little assertive when the situation calls for it.

They’re still incredibly far apart. The fact that everything feels like it’s going way too fast doesn’t change the actuality of the situation. Lanie sighs, leans back, catches Wendell’s eye for half a second and raises an eyebrow, pointed and teasing and a little jealous, all at once.

It’s just a Liv thing, he’d said. She doesn’t know if she still believes it.

“You chicken?” she says, like a challenge.

She doesn’t mean to say it, really. But there’s a buzz in her chest and a warmth in her bones, and her brain doesn’t feel completely tethered to the ground, much less her own head. It’s not entirely her fault she’s saying the first thing to come to mind.

Lanie isn’t particularly quiet, most of the time. The alcohol is doing nothing to help.

Wendell sputters, avoiding her gaze even as his face reddens. Liv pauses for a fraction of a second, glances at Lanie and immediately looks away. She doesn’t know what to do with any of this information. Her brain’s so fuzzy she might not even be retaining it.

(She is. It’s going straight to the back of her brain, highlighted in several different colors and cataloged under what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck. She’s used that box a lot more recently.)

They’re leaning in again. Not that they ever really stopped, but it’s actually happening now, and Lanie really feels like she shouldn’t be here, or should at least be looking away, but Liv’s hand is burning a hole through her thigh and she doesn’t even know if she could move if she wanted to. She should want to. This is weird.

The voice in the back of her head — the one that isn’t hers, technically, just trapped in its own body — has dulled down. Logically, Lanie knows Cara’s in there somewhere, probably shouting at her to leave the situation, but she can’t hear the woman unless she actively tries. And, for reasons she thinks are pretty solid, she doesn’t really feel like trying. She’s got… other things on her mind right now.

She hasn’t been able to take her eyes off of either of her friends in front of her, which isn’t much different from usual, actually, but there’s a flash of movement in the corner of her eye, and even in her clouded state she manages to clock it. Pommefriete is dashing away, more subtle than anyone else in this goddamn film.

“Fucking—” Lanie mutters, then continues, at a normal volume: “I hate to break this up, trust me, but french fry motherfucker is currently getting away, and I feel like we should maybe do something about that.”

Maybe it’s her words, or her voice, or the fact that half of those words weren’t even words because she’s slurring them just barely, but Liv and Wendell spring apart, nervous and hesitant. Lanie rolls her eyes — she loves them, really, but there’s a time and a place and yes she’s being a hypocrite, but that’s not relevant. Blame the fact that she’s getting drunker by the second.

They, eventually, dash out the door, hopefully hot on the tail of the clown guys who apparently want them dead. It doesn’t take long to find them, mostly because they’re brightly colored and in a large room. Lanie reaches for the gun in her pocket, then switches sides because that’s her taser, actually, which is also her MacGuffin and not something she wants to be throwing around for no reason.

And then it turns out they don’t even need their weapons, because the hotel staff spring out from literally nowhere and, quite literally, commit murder in their own hotel. It feels far too convenient, but then again, they’d said they’d protect their group when they walked in, no murder rules aside. Which is kind of just an everywhere rule, actually.

“Holy shit,” Wendell says, awed.

Lanie laughs. “Again. You did that.”

She doesn’t know how she knows that, or even if it’s true, but he smiles in response, a little proud, a little shocked, and something warm fizzles in her chest.

Liv, on the other hand, looks more downtrodden, slumping out of Kingskin’s ramrod straight posture. Her halberd sits loosely in her hand, resting against the floor. Lanie attempts to process this, connect the dots that feel way too far apart. She doesn’t get a chance to before one of the clown guys pops up from the floor, apparently not completely dead, and Liv brings the halberd down right across his neck. There’s a grin on her face as she does. A subconscious shiver runs down Lanie’s spine.

“Holy shit,” she echoes, barely above a whisper. Wendell nods slowly, eyes wide.

Never Stop Blowing Up is not a slow paced film. It’s quite possibly been the most insane god-knows-how-many hours of her entire life. She’s committed several crimes by this point. And she doesn’t know if it’s because they’re just standing around, for the moment, or if it’s everything crashing down at once, or what, but this feels like far too much. Like they’ve crossed some sort of invisible line she hadn’t even known existed.

Don’t get her wrong, she’s not upset about the series of events that have led up to now. She’s just… having an adrenaline crash, it seems. Not the greatest time, all things considered.

Liv leans down, tosses Wendell his dynamite, which he fumbles with for just a moment. Something feels like it clicks in the back of Lanie’s mind, but she’s far too out of it to know what. Or care what, for that matter. She would love to get out of the room with several dead bodies. Maybe even find the rest of their friends.

“Are you feeling okay?” Liv asks, her brows furrowed.

It takes Lanie longer than it should to realize the question is directed at her. “Never better,” she says, and the slur of her speech immediately contradicts it.

Neither of them seem to believe her.

“Right,” Liv says, audibly holding back a laugh.

Wendell loops an arm over her shoulders, and she leans in on instinct, only then remembering that Cara’s 5’4 on a good day and not Lanie’s comfortable 5'10. She’s never had to lean against him like this — never been able to, really, they’re about the same height. It’s weird. She’s also not completely upset about the whole situation.

Liv’s hand — Kingskin’s, really, but Lanie cannot find it in herself to care enough to differentiate the two right now — darts out, then retracts, like she can’t quite figure out what to do with it. There’s a dazed sort of look in her eyes, which might be bold coming from Lanie, who is notably drunk off her ass right now, but the fact that it’s there at all is… a little concerning. Then again, a bunch of shit just happened in the span of maybe half an hour, more emotionally taxing than anything else they’ve done so far.

Mostly it’s just been explosions. These are like… mental explosions. Or something smarter than that. Again, her brain is not in her head right now.

They make it back to the lobby, eventually, and Lanie has to blink to reprocess the deep purples and bright pinks scattering across the room. For a moment, the only coherent thought that comes to mind is holy shit they’ve got bisexual lighting this place fucking rules. And then Liv snorts next to her, and she realizes it is not just a thought.

She likes making Liv laugh, though. She’s gorgeous when she does, when her eyes sparkle and her lips curl into a smile to create the most beautiful sound Lanie’s ever heard. It’s even better when she doesn’t pretend, when her eyes fall shut and her head tilts back and she grins like nobody’s watching, and it’s breathless and melodious and if Lanie could play it on repeat every day she would for the rest of her life. It doesn’t happen often, but Lanie’s pretty damn funny. She’s heard it enough to make it count for something.

At some point in the process of being too gay about her friend’s laugh, she’s been handed off to said friend, Liv’s hand warm where it rests tentatively on her back. Lanie blinks up at her, which is also new — god, someone should teach Cara about platforms, or, like, inserts, or something — but also not a terrible thing. She kind of understands why girls go for taller guys.

“Wendell went to go get water,” Liv explains quietly.

Lanie stares at her, eyes no doubt strangely wide and pathetic if the way she feels is any indication, processing the information. Her brain is currently the equivalent of Internet Explorer right now, so it takes a moment, but eventually she nods, and Liv lets out a sigh of what might be relief.

“Anyone ever tell you you’re really pretty?” Lanie says suddenly, because she needs Liv to know, and sure, it’s a little weird saying it to Kingskin, but it feels like if she squints enough, tilts her head, she can almost see Liv herself in there. “Cause you are.”

Liv coughs, flushes a shade of red that only proves Lanie’s point. “Um. Thanks!” She sounds strained, but not upset. “You’re, uh. You too. You’re also… really pretty. And cool. And, uh.”

She cuts herself off, glances away, scratches her cheek. The words send a thrill up Lanie’s spine anyway.

There’s the hint of a smile on Liv’s face, though. Lanie tries not to think about that too hard before she spirals. It’s pretty simple — there’s a paper airplane flying out the window, and she slips out of Liv’s grip to follow it, ignoring her protests. Her brain tracks movement and bright colors and pretty much nothing else. It’s not entirely her fault for getting distracted.

Someone bumps into her, as to be expected in such a crowded building, but they seem to do a double take, which is less expected.

“La— Cara?” Russell’s voice says, distant, and Lanie turns to see Jennifer Drips, in all her glory. He stares at her in confusion, which slowly morphs into more concern than she thinks is warranted. “Are you… good?”

Why do people keep asking her that? “Feeling great,” she says, attempting to lean on the nearest table. There is no nearest table.

Russell catches her before she can completely tip over, sets her upright. “Lanie,” he says, worryingly serious, “what happened to you?”

She pauses. That is… a very good question, actually. “Uh. Wendell ‘n Liv—”

“Didn’t do anything,” Wendell interrupts out of nowhere, his voice at an octave she didn’t know voices could hit. “Nothing happened. She’s drunk.”

He passes her the water. She stares at the cup, then back up to him. Raises an eyebrow teasingly. Grins when he becomes obviously flustered.

“You do care,” she says smugly. It doesn’t come out as smooth as she would like, but it gets the point across.

“Yeah, well.” He gestures vaguely at nothing. “I’m going to go, uh. Talk to Liv. At the— at the blood rave. If you… wanted to come.”

Lanie considers this, deeper than perhaps the situation requires. She shakes her head. “I think— I’m gonna chill with Russell. We’re buddies. Besties. Pals. Uh.”

Wendell gives her a look she doesn’t think she could decipher if she were sober. “Right. Well, uh. Don’t die?” he offers. Glances up to Russell. “Please make sure she doesn’t die.”

“Sure thing,” Russell says, amused. “Have fun.”

“Love you!” Lanie calls at Wendell’s retreating figure. She turns back around before she can see him stumble so hard he nearly faceplants.

Russell definitely sees it, but doesn’t comment on it, just looks at Lanie, expectant and amused. “So, what did you say is happening with them?”

She lights up at that, grins, because she loves to gossip and she loves to talk about her friends. “They’re, like, making out in the blood rave or whatever. I dunno. So—”

“I’m sorry,” Russell interrupts, and he does genuinely look apologetic. Ignoring the fact he’s obviously trying not to laugh. “The what?”

“You know.” Lanie shrugs. They all know about the blood rave, duh. “The blood rave. I dunno. Not my business. They almost kissed, Russell. ‘N I was just kinda… there. In the middle.”

Rest in peace to Russell’s brain for trying to figure out what the fuck she’s talking about right now. Godspeed, soldier. She can see him connecting the dots, and waits patiently for him to do so — it’s not that complicated, really. Why is everyone so confused about all this?

“So— hang on.” Russell actually sits down on the ground, which is kind of weird considering how many chairs there are here, but Lanie just follows suit because standing is getting tiring, actually, and her feet are starting to hurt. “What do you mean in the middle?”

Lanie huffs petulantly, like a toddler. “We played craps, ‘n the french fry fucker had Wendell’s MacGuffin, so we bet on it, and it was either that or he ‘n Liv kissed. We… didn’t win. It was so bad, Russell.”

“The kiss?”

“No— well. Maybe?” She considers that, then shrugs. “I dunno. I wasn’t part of that. I was just… in the middle. Literally.”

Russell stares at her, Jennifer’s piercing gaze boring into her soul. She doesn’t entirely blame him, this time. Her brain was just as foggy in the moment.

“So no one actually kissed.” It’s a statement more than anything, as if he’s processing everything. “And you’re… okay with that?”

She shrugs again. “I like being the guy in the middle. ‘M not that worried about it.”

She’s surprised to find she really means it when she says it. Anyone with eyes can tell she’s absolutely down bad for her best friends slash coworkers slash multiple question marks at this point, but she’s genuinely never really expected it to go anywhere. Especially now that Liv seems to return Wendell’s feelings, even if she’s not completely aware of it herself. Sometimes Lanie uses the only two psychology classes she ever took for good.

Russell frowns, which confuses her, because she’s not upset about any of this. “But you’re into both of them.”

Jesus fuck, why is this a conversation she’s having with a coworker nearly thirty years older than her?

Because she’s drunk and no one else will listen to her, most likely. And anyway, Russell’s initiating at least seventy percent of it, so it’s not entirely her fault. Just mostly.

“‘S like… imagine a tricycle,” she says, only half sure of where the metaphor is going. “Three wheels. Two of them are in the front, and then there’s the one in the back. The two are like… bonded or whatever. Besties. Lovers. Worse. I dunno.

“You can’t get, like, stability without the third one, though,” she explains. Her eyes feel less dry than they were a minute ago, and when she reaches up to rub at them her hand comes back tear streaked. Huh. “It’s there for emotional support, or something. And it doesn’t mind being at the back, ‘cause how else do you get to see the other two?”

“That’s…” Russell trails off. “I don’t think tricycles are set up like that.”

Okay, so it’s not a perfect metaphor. Sue her.

Lanie groans, probably a little overdramatic. “Shut up, I’m making points. You get it.”

He smiles like he just might. “That makes a lot of sense, though, Lanie. I just think maybe you haven’t been paying close enough attention.”

And then, like he hasn’t just casually dropped a bombshell like that on her, he pats her shoulder before standing up and wandering off. She thinks she sees him with Usha, but she’s too busy staring at the ground and trying to refocus her brain as she runs through every interaction she’s ever had.

It doesn’t go well, not at the moment. Later, though — later, they’ll end up on a speedboat to the Amazon, and Lanie will squeeze herself between Liv and Paula and shiver in nothing but a tank top. Later, they’ll end up in Alaska first, and she’ll throw up off the side of the boat when Usha takes over driving, and Wendell will quietly confess that he and Liv didn’t kiss the night before.

Later, Liv will run off, and they’ll find out about Dave, and they’ll storm the White House when it flies away, and a million other things will happen that Lanie won’t comprehend at the time, much less afterwards.

Later — much, much later — they’ll have time. Time to choose, time to talk, time to figure things out.

For now, Lanie passes out in the middle of the floor until Dang nudges her awake with his foot and dreams about almost kisses that aren’t an almost.

[dareactions]

Omg welcome back! I had a request in mind for a while and was so sad ur blog was dead! How would the male romance options in Inquisition react to the Inquisitor coming out as a lesbian after romancing them?

I'm sure I had an order to how i rowed up characters but I can't remember so. I took Dorian out of this because i feel like it'd have to be it's whole own post going into both a gender discovery and sexuality.

Blackwall: He tries to be supportive. Keyword tries. It's hard to disconnect the hurt that comes from a break up and to translate that into being a supportive person to someone he at one point could call his own partner. It takes a lot of time, admittedly a bit too much time if you ask some, but he comes around to the idea. Blackwall can't help moping around for at least a week though- throwing his mind into whatever he can to avoid thinking about it. He probably has a tiny little voice wondering if it's something he did or if it's an excuse but he snuffs those out pretty quickly. He still gets to be their friend, that's what matters.

Cullen: This man is so used to the revolving door that is good and bad luck in his life; that when this gets thrown at him? He just sits down for a minute and thinks. He wants to clarify he is supportive, and Cullen pretty much tries to pretend this does not at all affect him. He's happy the Inquisitor figured themselves out, he is supportive as all hell and he does try to push those feelings to the side but- you still have to mourn a relationship you lost. So he does take that time, it's hard and he for sure pretends he is fine when he isn't and pushes his own boundaries on what he is comfortable about but - the guy just wants them happy. If that isn't with him, that's so fine as well.

Iron Bull: Honestly, isn't surprised. The guy probably had an inkling before the Inquisitor did just a little bit. He has no issues with it, sure he may need a month to feel upset but he is so chill about this it's the smoothest transition. The kind of ex that will help you find a girlfriend once he has moped for a bit; probably tries to hook you up with a charger just because he thinks it'd be funny.

Solas: Listen- I want to say Solas would take this well. He wouldn't. Solas would be PETTY, he would be UPSET. He tries so hard to keep his cool but he can't help the slight sass that falls out during the conversation; he apologises for it later but his pride is very easily bruised. The type of guy who cries to spirits about it in private and in front of the Inquisitor acts like it never even happened. Relationship? What relationship? Solas eases up on his avoidance eventually but damn it's a bit of a rough patch.

[mycological-mariner]

wanna talk about your OCs I would love to hear about your OCs who are they 👀

Oh dear. Sorry I forgot I hadn’t posted this it was in my drafts lol Doing my historical OCs because, well. I wanna and I feel like if I delved into any of my fantasy/sci-fi ones we’d be here ages

Fred Norefleet.

Of all the naval and broadly maritime ocs I have conjured over the years, he’s the most pathetic. By god is he trying his best, but he has continuously come up short in everything he’s done. He tries so hard and his life until recently was just other folk deciding what he was gonna be for him. He’s silent unless spoken to, tends to miss the forest for the trees, stares at you really intently when you’re talking, wishes more than anything to disappear into the background and his first words were probably “I’m sorry.”

That being said, he’s deeply loyal and supports his sisters and uncle financially with his wages. He’s a prime navigator and very detail-oriented, a team player and quite sneaky when need be and might actually make a lieutenant if he didn’t have a spine made from celery. He’s also quite sensitive about his lack of any formal education, receiving the good chunk of it when he became a midshipman. Quite protective, especially after the wreck as a kid. Became a bit of a chronic helper and control freak after that. Absolutely shit at fighting but an excellent sailor. Once dug shot out of his own hip, made it into a coin and carved a ship on it to give to his Friend. He’s that kind of person. He’s trans.

Morwenna Norefleet.

If Fred’s first words were “I’m sorry” then Morrie’s were “WASSON MATE.” The older of the twins by a minute, she and Fred were stuck together like glue until he went away to sea. She taught herself to read by studying the Bible and writes regularly to her brother. As both of them swapped names and gender, they’re quite close. She wants to open her own public house and inn or at least buy one (all the papers in Fred’s name of course). She’s a total flirt, especially with the out of town tinners and any “foreign” sailors (upcountry), even though she’s never settled down what with the whole trans thing. Morwenna embroiders very intricate flowers and landscapes. She once tried to do a ship for her uncle and it was less of a ship than it was a box with sticks. When Fred wouldn’t speak after his shipwreck and time spent stranded when they were 11, she felt really hurt. Especially when he went away to sea the same year, she was really lonely and would often sit in the St Juliot’s graveyard and cry privately. Nowadays she’s alright! Constantly worrying about her brother but also, she’s looking after her other sisters and their children and her uncle and working in an inn and working in the pilchard cellar. Her hevva cakes are amazing. She’s the strongest person in this family, has a deeply rooted sense of self and has boundless self confidence without ever being arrogant. Community and family are what’s important to her most of all, she teaches what she knows of Cornish to her little family members and teaches them to write and read and once hit one unruly patron so hard he woke up crying.

Callum Tredwen.

A mess. Is actively being hunted down by his own brother, is an ex-navy lieutenant, a mutineer and now smuggler. He’s on a suicide mission. He’s a lesbian and has an extremely doomed and unspoken relationship with his first mate. He’s probably committed multiple war crimes, he took a 21-year old doctor hostage and kidnapped him. He ought to be dead but he just won’t die. He’s a dick. An asshole. He’s all the confidence of Morwenna but without any compassion for others (lies, he does, he just rarely acts on it), the anxieties of Fred without any of the perspective. He hits first to avoid ever being hit himself. He refuses to let himself be loved or taken care of. He’s gotten his dearest friends killed and his own self maimed. This man wants blood and he’s going to get it, whether it’s his own or someone else’s. It’s been years and his gender is still “eeeeh.” The 2nd messiest fucker.

[thegeminisage]

star trek update time. last night we did ds9's "hard time" and "shattered mirror," which, WOW

hard time:

so i knew going in this was going to be an obrien suffering episode but i did NOT expect it to escalate to an ONSCREEN SUICIDE ATTEMPT. JESUS CHRIST

first of all, even real prison would have been less evil than fake prison. argrathans are VILE

kira was so niceys to him when he woke up :( even though you could tell she was super uncomfortable

i read that this episode was originally supposed to be about that lower decks bajoran girl...i'm kind of glad it didn't happen to her, tbh, but also, what did happen to her was still so fucking horrible

episodes that make a great case for why julian bashir can and should join the obriens marriage. he can still see garak on the side!!

i mean was this not julian and miles: the episode?

it was just SO good. everyone trying really hard to help and no one being able to help because obrien is LYING ABOUT IT AND GOD. THEY WASTED THIS GUY ON TNG! FIVE YEARS ON TNG AND THEY GAVE HIM ONE GOOD EPISODE! ONE!!!!!!! HE STOOD AROUND AT THE TRANSPORTER DOING JACK SHIT AND FOR WHAT

i actually thought for a second at the end when they were starving in prison he was gonna eat that guys. tarsus iv blinders. actually what happened was kind of worse

suicide scene. what can i even say except bashir is the most gentle man and good person. and god obrien fucking CARRIED it. five years on tng and i didn't know he could do that except for one fucking scene which was also about the cardassian war

bashir assuring keiko obrien always bounces back and then he almost KILLS HIMSELF.

AND THE THING IS YOU GET IT! he was really scary when he killed his cellmate! he was scary when he hurt quark and almost hit molly! you can see why he would be frightened of himself! it's that moment of absolute rage and then it's over and that guy is dead on the ground and you can't undo it. even though he wasn't REAL and then julian talks him down ANYWAY god i'm actually not even making any coherent sense bc it was just That good. god. GOD.

shattered mirror:

mixed feelings about this one, but mostly positive

i really Don't like how easy it is for characters to hop back and forth between our verse and the mirrorverse. ds9's mirrorverse already takes SO much mystery out of the original, which i could except, but having jake's not-mom and sisko's not-wife pop over for a visit for nooo reason is like. too much really. it should be harder. seeing her should be a bigger deal

about five second after the words "this should be a bigger deal" left my mouth it started being a bigger deal and i immediately took it back lol bc im weak but ultimately thats the kind of writing i'd wanna see for mirror jennifer

i think her using her knowledge of their grief against them WAS fun and evil actually even if it was also evil to me. and jake was already lonely because nog was gone too GOD. hey, also, speaking of nog, why was quark all "oh jake comes down here and pines for nog like every day" like are they boyfriends?? young love? whats going on ds9

speaking of gay people, um. worf and garak. the. the bondage collar. the way we both at the exact same moment had the exact same thought, which was: slave bikini leia. whatever they had going on in this episode was so homoerotic there was even penetration (with a knife).

one thing mirrorverse will do is kill people. odo, quark, rom, and now nog and jennifer. i called both their deaths before it happened but jennifer dying was still SOOOOO. god. at least this time they got to say goodbye?

SO thrilled to see mirror kira again, ik nana visitor was against the evil lesbian stereotype but what if i did wanna see her just lez out now and again? it's pride month i have rights

theme of the evening: mood whiplash. we went from obriens suicide attempt to fun edgy horny mirrorverse worf and garak bondage to sisko and jake's shared grief over jenifer to mirror kira doing ✌��� at the camera every chance she got. my head was spinning by the end of the night. good for them though

TONIGHT: ds9's "the muse" and voy's "the thaw"

[shiverandqueeef]

gay xander and what could have been

allegedly, whedon had planed from the very beginning to eventually have one of the scoobies come out as gay, they just hadn't decided right up until the writing of season four whether it would be xander or willow. So what happened is we ended up with three seasons of gay subtext popping up around both of them. and obviously, with willow, we get the follow through. But with xander, all of those little moments and hints just...fizzle out.* It adds such a frustrating element to his characterization. I can't help but wonder what kind of character he would have ended up being if they had decided to make him the gay one rather than willow.**

the main issues with xander that a lot of fans have pointed out over the years and which now dominates the narrative around his character analysis is a) jealousy over any man who receives attention from buffy and/or willow b) entitlement to the bodies and sex lives of the women around him c) continually unchecked slut shaming of women, both his friends and love interests and of course d) the show not only excusing all of this but actively framing him as being right

so if they had landed on making him gay...how would that have effected the way they wrote him? Gay men can absolutely be misogynistic, but the particular flavour of xander's misogyny is so fuelled by his sexual attraction to, resentment of, and entitlement towards the sex lives of the women around him.

The first three seasons as they are would still be the same, and there is a lot of xander being utterly unbearable while the show insists his behavouir is perfectly acceptable and understandable and even noble at times. from The Pack to Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered, to just his entire attitude towards angel and later angelus and even later towards buffy in relation to angelus...oof.

i wonder then, if there would have been a shift from young, insecure and closeted xander who covets women as objects, into a self actualized out xander who realizes the way he treated willow, buffy, cordelia, anya ect. was the result of his own sexual repression and desperate need to be validated as a Successful Heterosexual Man.

I mean. we almost certainly wouldn't have. I guess it depends on whether of not whedon continued to identify with xander and use him as a self insert/mouthpiece even after the character was made gay, and if xander no longer being the lense through which whedon could project his own issues would have made him let go of the character a little , and if that would have allowed the writers room to re-evaluate their approach to the character and maybe gain some insight into the ways in which they had been perpetuating misogyny through him. and okay i kind of doubt it...but if that had happened, maybe we would have gotten a less misogynistic xander...or perhaps he would have been just as entitled and judgmental as ever and it all would have been a confused muddled mess because while the doyalist reality of whedon's own misogyny would have continued to dictate the character there would no longer have been any watsonian explanation for xander's attitude/behavouir.

anyways, this is a far from a well put together string of paragraphs but im just pondering the celluloids ya know? And oh man, as a side note, gay xander would have at the very least saved us all from 1) having to watch him thirst after the teenage potentials and 2) dating dawn in season 8.

*okay there was that one time in s5 where he goes on in detail about what makes spike so alluring but other than that

**ofc you can pry lesbian willow from my cold dead hands and even then i'm counting on rigor mortis to keep my claws in it

TLDR: the writers at one time considered making xander gay and i'm curious how that would have affected his characterization

[susandsnell]

Phoenix from Phantom of the Paradise! 2, 3, 23

Character Ask Game

Hi Maggie! Thanks for the patience, glad you liked the movie enough to ask me about it haha!

Phoenix from Phantom of the Paradise:

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

I like how self-serving she is! There are a few Christines in various Phantom of the Opera adaptations (the 1943 one and the one played by Jane Seymour both come to mind) who are truly girlboss™️, ruthlessly ambitious in pursuit of their singing careers and to whom love and romance and, well, men, come second, if not an afterthought entirely. Phoenix is a regular Roxie Hart in a Phantom of the Opera/Faust story. She's particularly willing to compromise on her integrity to get ahead, and she's shown to be genuinely egotistical and swept up in living for the adoration of her public. Yes, it is gendered in that she does sleep with Swan / agree to his marriage proposal as part of the deal, but what's fun about it is she's genuinely more Faust than Marguerite in that she's given personal aspirations independent of the men in her life, with the sex side of things being more a means to an end than the Corruption of the Innocent. More women being ethically questionable in horror, I always say!

It's surprisingly nice especially given the time period that she's not really narratively punished, either; yes, she does lose Winslow at the end, but she's the only one who lives! Maybe she can live on to warn people about the scourge of Satanism and clothed lesbian orgies plaguing the rock opera scene.

Also, I love that she has a deeper register! More alto/contralto ingenues!!!

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

With the above being said, I do have to say that Phoenix, like most of the characters in this film who are not named Winslow or Swan, is a bit underwritten and simplistic. I wish we were able to learn more about her; she doesn't necessarily need to have the honouring-the-dead-father backstory most Christines have (although that would be interesting given Swan's whole deal with offering immortality!), but a bit more than "she wants to make it" would be nice, and kind of break her out of the gender stereotyping boxes a bit further. It was cute watching her bond with Winslow, but especially seeing how De Palma's later work would flesh out side characters a lot more, I'd love to see her good points more at war with her single-minded pursuit of stardom. As she stands, she's a bit flat.

23. Favorite picture of this character?

Everyone knows and would likely pick the angelic white dress bathed in the stagelight singing picture, or the classic backstage drama ingenue image of her sitting in her dressing room mirror with Swan looming over her shoulder in the reflection, so I'm going to indulge my perpetual need to be different and choose this one --

The ingenue archetype is usually idealized and placed on a benevolent misogyny pedestal when she performs angelically, but I really love this image for subverting that. Other than the dramtic angle, the look in her eye speaks to a hidden ferocity in Phoenix - perhaps in pursuit of her goals - that I just love.

Thank you!!!

[bijoumikhawal]

For the ship ask game: Sisko/Garak, Kira/Dax, O'Brien/Bashir

Sisko/Garak: ship it!

What made you ship it? I Do Not Remember. It may have been @ectogeo-rebubbles ITPM fic and it gradually grew on me but I don't know what to do with I now.

What are your favorite things about the ship? 1. Potential analysis for a very different way of being intimate with Garak, for one. With Julian he's always performing a bit, and his intimacy with Julian is cloaked in layers of complications and subterfuge- they're both very used to performing, performance is how that communicate. I find their dialogue often very easy to write because they're both very witty and vaudevillian (it's a dynamic some of the guys from my attempt at an audio drama have lol). But with Sisko I've noticed that Garak has points where he drops the jovial attitude and is very straightforward with him, kind of like he's dropping a ruse. It's not that Sisko doesn't enjoy those mannerisms of Garak's- as I think @wanderingwriter87 pointed out, Sisko appreciates Garak's bits- or that that's false behavior from Garak, but it's a kind of unmasking Garak is not prone to allow. 2. There's a very different power dynamic between them- perhaps controversial but during the run of the show I think Garak is put in a weak position, powerwise, compared to the vast majority of other characters as an exile who does not seem to have his citizenship sorted out. Socially, however, there are ways he wields power with Julian or even like, Quark where he's clearly got an upper hand that he doesn't with Sisko, who is of the same generation as Garak. Like, Garak does very notably manipulate him, but not the way he does with other people. And 3. Comparing and contrasting the social contexts they come from. Obviously Hebitians are like, my blorbo culture, but they're both middle aged men who adore children, and are pretty family oriented! However Sisko has a pretty healthy relationship to his family and Garak's family is an... on fire dumpster. Garak is very loyal to his father and craves his love and needs his approval for survival, while also calling him a monster and wishing him dead. Sisko seems to have trouble understanding that other people have severely negative relationships to their parents that may not be able to get resolved (it happens at least twice) because his father has been a good man to him. And to top all that off, Sisko has a son who's coming into adulthood! Children are their own whole people! Family is not a physically distant concept for him!

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship? I don't think there are popular opinions... maybe that I don't think Garak actually caught Sisko as off guard as people act like he did during IPTM. Like, Sisko’s anger is less about what Garak did and more about the fact that he knows what he did. Sisko knows who garak is, what he's capable of, and if not specifics of what he used to do, the kind of things he used to do. Hell, this is after Garak went to jail for trying to do mass murder. Sisko was planet side during that!

Kira/Dax: I have no hard feelings on it, but I think saying I ship it is lesbian-pair the spares type cheating. I find Kira interesting and have been trying to read more stuff about Jadzia to understand more about her, but I don't rotate them in my head as much separately or together to feel like it counts. I think I've written more like- character analysis? On Kai Winn than on Kira through my perspective of her as a martyr-that-wasn't and how I think DS9 fails to accurately understand and critique the religious context Bajor exists within. Which is funny, because I like Kira and think Winn is a super shitty person- I've mostly ended up thinking about her more because people have such bad takes about her.

O'Brien/Bashir- I don't ship it

Why don't you ship it? Honestly I genuinely think Miles is straight, I don't think his and Julian's relationship has that kind of intimacy and I struggle to understand the intimacy they do have as friends (Miles being an "everyman" means he's a bit of a "shittyman" and we'd be fine co-workers- he's a lot better than some of the people I worked with in welding, which is like winning and award for tallest dwarf- but I would not voluntarily talk to him on off hours). And frankly any openness I've had to it has been killed by the shitty and annoying behavior I've seen from Jiles fans towards their "competition". I'm sure some of it isn't like- sincere? But it's a style of humor and behavior I find rude and off-putting. Also like- I don't like how most people talking about it regard Keiko.

What would have made you like it? You could maybe analyze how Julian thinks he knows what's best for people and that makes him more inclined towards decisions in intrapersonal relationships that really are bad for everyone, I did read a ficlet like that once with it that I found compelling

Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it? I do think it can be an interesting analysis of repression on Miles's part and I hope people have fun with it

[ouatnextgen]

Curious Archer/ Mad Archer Ship Headcanons

One of two canon Next Gen ships, Alice Swan-Jones and Robyn Hood/Mills!

These two were one of the only things I liked about S7. Initially, I wasn't going to have Alice here at all, since I took the multiverse out of my re-write, but I love her waaaay too much to cut her out.

Tropes: True Love || Hopeless flirts || Fairytale romance || Love at first sight || The grumpy one falls for the sunshine one || Protective Couple

Songs: Dead Sea- The Lumineers || Mess is Mine- Vance Joy || Yellow- Coldplay || Still Into You- Paramore || Love Me Like You Do- Ellie Goulding || All of Me- John Legend

Headcanons Under the Cut: (Changes from canon) (Also keep in mind I changed Alice's parents to Killian and Emma in this AU)

Since both girls are teenagers in this AU, their relationship is going to have a different dynamic than in canon when they are both adults. I just wanted to make it clear that I’m not trying to infantilize Alice due to her mental illness or time stuck in the tower, but because she and Robyn are still teens, and it’s only been a year since Alice escaped her tower.

They met a year after Alice escaped from her tower. Since they had Snowing’s “I caught you in a net” meeting in canon, I gave them the “smacked you with a rock” meeting for this AU.

Alice ended up in Storybrooke, trying to find her lost family. Robyn saw her and thought she was a spy, chasing her down and tackling her in the woods. Robyn was surprised that she was a (pretty) girl, and Alice wacks her with a tree branch to escape. True love, baby.

After everything settles, they do a formal introduction: “I’m Robyn Hood. The new Robin Hood, anyway. The old one was my dad.” “New Robin…so Nobyn Hood?” “...no.”

Robyn was a goner from minute one. Unfortunately, she can’t flirt for shit. Alice, on the other hand, flirts by just being herself, which makes Robyn incredibly flustered, which makes her flirting worse, and on the cycle goes.

Alice knows that Robyn likes her, but she finds herself being cautious about growing close to anyone, not wanting her “bad days” to ruin any relationships she might have in Storybrooke.

Once Alice gets settled at Storybrooke High, Robyn takes it upon herself to show her the ropes and protect her from any perceived slight. Faces have, and will be, punched.

Everything is slow for them, as Alice has never been in a relationship (of any kind), and Robyn is trying reeeeeally hard not to fuck this up.

Robyn calls Alice “Tower Girl,” “Lovely,” and “Starlight,” because she’s a sap. Alice calls Robyn “Nobin,” “Yobin (Robyn with a ‘Y’),” and “Love,” because she is also a sap.

The first time Alice has a “bad day” in front of Robyn, she freaks out and thinks that Robyn will think she’s a psycho and leave. Instead, Robyn talks with Alice and comes up with plans to help her during her “bad days,” and episodes.

Alice has dragged Robyn out of bed to go stargazing with her more than once. True to form, Robyn complains, but she won’t ever say no to Alice’s smile.

They practice their magic together, though Alice is much more gifted than Robyn. Robyn tries not to let that get to her.

Alice’s favorite activity is to watch Robyn do archery. She loves how focused and passionate she gets.

Robyn’s never been all that touchy-feely, but Alice is touch starved from being alone in a tower since she was twelve. Robyn suddenly becomes VERY touchy-feely. With Alice, at least.

Robyn has previously dated Alex Boyd, before they came out as aroace, but that ended real quick, much to Robyn’s heartbreak. Alice hasn’t dated anyone, but during her time in Wonderland, developed a crush on Will and Anastasia’s daughter, Penny, which never went anywhere.

Both Robyn and Alice knew pretty early on that they were Not Straight. Robyn had a brief stint when she was considering she might be bisexual, but decided that lesbian fit her better. Alice just flat-out knew she liked girls when she accidentally conjured some non-heterosexual romance books while trapped in her tower.

Zelena, Regina, and Emma (and Robin, when he comes back to life) all ship the heck out of them. Killian, old fashioned man that he is, is concerned, but comes around eventually.

[biohazard2017]

hello asking abt ur leon death au mwah

SO GLAD YOU ASKED MY DARLING DEAREST

so leon death au is basically what happened when i thought about leons blackmail + the u.s. and umbrella connections being secret, and therefore leons initial team being a secret + forgetting that hes canonically an orphan. initially it lived up to its title w leon being at the very least publicly dead. it was unnecessarily angsty and involved a lot of leon wearing a baseball cap and watching his family visit his gravestone 👍 then i realised i dont particularly like angst esp for leon

so now he just has a fake job ^_^ his family has no clue he works for the government. its gonna be 2 chaptwrs long, the first from r.c. all the way to re6, the second from re6 to vendetta. re6 is the breakpoint bc he fakes his death so. Drama

speaking of his family, just gonna immediately say that his dad died in the line of duty as a cop. parallels and all that also i cant write dads. hes a middle child, with an older sister sam and a younger brother theo. sams 2 yrs older than leon, a lesbian and who shes dating will become pretty important. LOL theos 5 years younger. he was in the military and was present at harvardville. after re6 he transfers to the bsaa. for the Drama. for the record leons a scorpio sams a leo and theos a virgo just fo establish birthdays. leons mom has not been figured out yet i cannot write any parent in general

both chapters will have a lot of guest appearances for leons various friends and acquaintances, which will make leons family very confused 👍 it basically fills in each year with One Specific Event that happened. eg for 2000 he brings claire over for new years eve with his family and they decide to be forever roommates. for 2009 after re5 claire hosts a barbecue for everyone she knows is associated with jill to celebrate her reappearance. etc etc he has a moment with ashley post re4 where they talk about the plagas where theo accidentally comes over and sees his brother being friends with the presidents daughter. like that kind of stuff

chapter 2 is less Fill In the Blanks bc its more the fallout of both leons faked death and also him finally admitting he does not work at a travel agency and instead kills monsters for a living which becomes pretty apparent when his sister starts dating REDACTED and his brother joins the bsaa. also chreon Will be a thing bc i write this.

also his family live around ny mostly bc of vendetta to have most of them near each other for the stuff that happens after thank you very much estimated release date honestly like.. june .. at least for ch1 teehee

[cutiecatsub]

What do you think lesbians are attracted to in women that we can’t be attracted to in men?

It can’t be anything about femininity or masculinity obviously. That’s both sexist, and cultural so can’t be what drives woman-only attraction.

It can’t be anything about stated identity because someone could lie just as easily as they could tell the truth in such a statement, and it makes no sense because homosexuality and heterosexuality exists in other species with no stated identities. It’s not like other animals without gender are all pan.

Saying idk it’s the vibes or some indescribable trait women have that men can’t but “I can’t explain” is a nonanswer.

Soooooooo what is it? Or do you think any sexuality but bi/pan is just cultural performance or an identity rather than an inborn orientation?

I have been thinking about this for days and every time I start typing on it I wander off to have more thoughts and it gets eaten. 😭

Ok so I may joke around and have my discord server with my partners named “lesbian power throuple” bc none of use are men but I’ve never consistently identified as a lesbian. I am definitely attracted to people who are not women and so I feel like I personally fall outside of that label. In a way I’m the least qualified person to answer this (which boils down to “what is a woman?”) because I am not exclusively attracted to women and I am not one myself. Being called a woman is a hard limit for me, and even being called girl which I’m fine with in most contexts is more akin to when my Dom calls me Kitten; it’s just a cute nickname and I don’t actually think I’m a baby cat*

So I am literally incapable of being attracted exclusively to one gender and I reject my assigned gender; I am about as far from understanding what makes a Woman a Woman as you can get. If I knew I would have spent less time getting a minor in studying gender. Maybe. Gender? I barely know ‘er.

My background in fundamentalism and my “classical education” (gag) makes me want to sit down and come up with a clear and discrete definition so we can nail down the answer but there are so many people and identities that would defy any attempt to do so. So it may be a cop out but I truly don’t know. And not to bring oversimplifications of dead philosophers into this but it seems like this could boil down to looking more for a platonic ideal of Woman that all women have qualities of vs going a little more Aristotelian and just saying that Woman is comprised of…people who are women. It’s not a satisfying answer but the second I start trying to nail down specific qualities associated with a gender it kind of takes me back to my fundie days. >.< I just don’t think it’s a productive endeavor. for me anyway ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

*I definitely am one tho

[traitorleech]

deadloch was a surreal experience. i like the murder mystery aspects of the show. suspects have motives and everyone they discuss seems plausible in their own right. when the detectives come to a conclusion it feels natural. i like how the writers pull of the feat of the case not actually stagnating before the detective(s) arrive at a completely arbitrary right conclusion like so many other murder mysteries do. at one point i was dead on the murderer but the show made a great effort to dissuade me and directed my attention to others instead. the red herrings they throw at you feel thought out and not pointless. however the show does lose me in the i believe penultimate episode when all the town's men (or at least the named men) take a bus out of town. this is the point where the show falls apart for me, unfortunately. the ending feels rushed and all the amazing build up they've done so far is their downfall in my opinion. the reveal of the actual murderer is fine, like i said before, i had them clocked as a potential suspect but their ultimate motivation feels somewhat off - or at least not as strong as it could be.

this kind of leads me on to my next point. first of, representation is always good and a win, but this is where i get confused, as a queer man myself i like how many of the (main) characters are part of the lgbtq+ community to some extent even if it seems a bit excessive in terms of realism but i don't mind, but a lot of the comments got on my nerves eventually. i don't care that many townsfolk are lesbian or gay or cross-dressers or whatnot, but i do find it somewhat annoying that so many seem to make it their sole personality trait / have to bring it up constantly. like, i know sven's gay because i watched x hours of this show already and he brings it up all the time. what happened to show don't tell? yes, i know collins' a lesbian 'cos eddie and a whole bunch of other people keep insulting her about it. i'm not against them mentioning it and especially in collins' case they're disrespecting a figure of authority (when phil mcgangus does it, which then plays in the homophobia collins and other characters have to deal with) but what does eddie gain by doing it?

also, the murderer tying in with both eddie's and collins' past feels a bit forced. it can work if done well, but it's not. why did it have to be both of them? wouldn't it have been more impactful if it were just eddie, and collins then choosing to support her, serving as a reminder to eddie that her friends / coworkers do like her?

also what was the deal with miranda and tammy? like, what was the point? they were there in every episode, multiple times, and only for the carruthers reveal? it feels so pointless. whenever they appeared on screen i thought to myself if it weren't for it being on a streaming site, this would be the time for a pee break. i also don't get the humour of the show. i don't want to bang on about it because not every joke is for everyone and shows labelled as comedy often don't land with me (i have the same problem with man down and the cleaner). it didn't deter me from enjoying deadloch, though. the murder mystery aspect drew me in and that's why i stayed. the sound design was great. like, seriously good. so, yeah, overall, i did enjoy deadloch a lot and even if the comedy didn't land for me i would still recommend it. the ending feels a bit rushed and chaotic, and given the pacing of the rest of the show, i think one or two more episode could have helped with that.

[thewealthysocialite]

What Ever Happened to Tila Tequila?

Hey hotties, so for my first blog I want to talk about someone who I had somewhat of a fascination with when I was younger and that's Tila Tequila, for the younger people who have no idea who this woman with the funny name is, Tila Tequila is.. or was a television personality, singer/rapper, blogger, occasional actress, socialite, and model. But most importantly, she was pretty much the world's first social media influencer. See, after being suspended so many times on the now-defunct Friendster, Tila Tequila joined MySpace in fall of 2003 and by 2006 she became the most friended person of the MySpace. From what I've read, I believe she was apart of a rock band at the time of joining MySpace but that's kind of irrelevant to the story, anyhow, in 2007, MTV offered Tila Tequila her own reality show, the concept was a dating show that offered both male and female bachelor and bachelorette's, respectively titled A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila (Get it because Tequila and Shot?). So bam not only was she the most followed person on MySpace but now she was a pioneer for the bisexual reality television world. The show ran for two seasons and although she picked a gentleman named Bobby, they never even went out together let alone ever have her phone number. The following season, she picked a girl named Kirsty but in the biggest plot twist, Kristy rejected the offer and gave the world (me at least) one of the best season finale's in dating show history, with Kristy looking at the mansion one last time before entering the limo to leave Tila all alone crying in her bedroom to "Keep Driving" by Woodale I mean it was really good to me at least. The show was then handed down to the bisexual twin hooters waitresses Rikki and Vikki Mongeon better known as the Ikki Twins. Around this time, Tila began dating bisexual socialite and would be heiress to the Johnson & Johnson fortune Casey Johnson (who I will be making a blog on) and on December 9, 2009, Tequila announced via Ustream, her engagement to the socialite. Unfortunately on January 4, 2010, Casey Johnson was found dead inside of her Los Angeles estate by a housekeeper. Casey's cause of death was later revealed to be diabetes which she had struggled with from the age of 8. In my opinion, this was the beginning of Tila's mental downfall. Although, Tila had began to rebrand herself as a blogger under the name Miss Tila and began coming out with more music, in August she was attacked at the Gathering of the Juggalos festival. The same month, her lesbian sex tape was released to the public via Vivid Entertainment. Tila went quiet after this and the only thing I could find was that in January 2012, she discussed converting to Judaism, stating "I just feel like the Jewish people have such a beautiful way about them, and I can't wait to officially be Jewish! Shabbat Shalom." Strangely enough, in 2013, she uploaded a blog which she titled "Why I Sympathize with Hitler." She went on to say the following, “What do you think war is about? People DIE in wars that is why I am against wars… I understand the Jewish people went through some shit too, but hey guess what?? SO DID THE MAJORITY OF THE PEOPLE WHO SUFFERED IN EVERY SINGLE WAR THST [sic] TOOK PLACE! You were NOT the only ones! So please, if the rest of us can forgive and forget maybe it’s time you do also!!!”

Flash forward to 2015, Tila Tequila is invited to go on the British version of Celebrity Big Brother alongside Farrah Abraham, Jenna Jameson, and Daniel Baldwin. At the time, Nguyen (Tequila's surname) was looking to be payed $175,000 win or lose the game. During her time in the house, she got a long with housemates and seemed to be off, not mentally there, overly sexual (regardless of claiming to have a boyfriend at home), and at times, human. However, on day two, she was called to the diary room, however long later, the housemates were called into the living room and told the following, "Due to events outside the Big Brother house, Tila has been removed from the house." Accoring to what I've read, production confronted her about the 2013 blog. The following day, Tila issued a statement,

"Back in 2013 I made a statement about Hitler not being a bad person, and immediately realized soon after that I had made a terrible mistake that would ultimately come back to haunt me. During that time I had been suffering from severe depression, and drug addiction for many years prior to that" She continued, "I also attempted to commit suicide in 2012 and overdosed on prescription pills. I wanted to die. I felt worthless and unloved as that pain continued to grow causing me further to spiral out of control. Losing touch of myself and reality.

"I have made many mistakes that I am definitely not proud about, but I am only a flawed human who is trying my best to be a better person than I was in the past. Although I cannot do much to change my past mistakes now, I can however, try to make things right from this morning forward, and be the best person that I can be. I am in no way, shape or form a racist nor antisemitic and absolutely not 100% a Nazi supporter."

Apparently this apology meant nothing because the following year, on November 18, 2016, Tila posted a photo to twitter of her with two white men posing with the Nazi Salute to which she titled "Seig Heil". Her twitter account was subsequently suspended.

In 2018, she began posting YouTube videos reffering to herself as the "Bride of Christ" and turned into this religious... for a lack of better words, freak. She didn't seem to be doing too bad until around 2022 when she posted a video slurring the N word with the Hard r and pulled out a gun (I dont know the rules on her so i dont know if I'm allowed to say that) which i believe was fake but none the less, her kids were around and it just seems dangerous. She would say her children are Hitler babies and I don't know I mention all of this to show the mental decline of someone who was actually pretty famous and well off to a terrible...person I guess?

Now if you ask me, I think that Tila was going through a lot, as stated in the 2015 apology, I do think she is bipolar, she openly talked about having many alter ego's, one being named Jane which she mentions in her song Rat Room, but I honestly feel sorry for her, and I feel sorry for the kids, I just think if she was medicated none of this would be happening. I also think Casey's death took a toll on her mentally as well.

Well, I've been writing this for 3 or 4 hours which yes I know it's short but I had a lot to say about this situation.

Until next time, you know you love me, XoXo,

- The Wealthy Socialite

[shwoo]

It's really interesting to compare these two! (Some spoilers for both) Carol is a romance where a big part of the conflict is the homophobic society the characters live in (1950s America), and story-wise, Bugsnax is an adventure with romance-focused subplots where homophobia never even comes up. I haven't seen Carol, although I know what happens, but I can say that Bugsnax is also significantly sillier in tone. I know this because the two women who kiss in Carol are called Carol Aird and Therese Belivet, and the two women who kiss in Bugsnax are called Elizabert Megafig and Eggabell Batternugget. Doesn't stop the relationships and character motivations from feeling very real, though.

When I read the premise of Carol, I assumed it would end tragically like every high-profile story about queer romance with that kind of setting, and it was a nice surprise to be wrong. (Slaps a "Does Not Bury Their Gays" sticker onto the movie poster) The movie ends kind of ambiguously, but it's implied that they're going to pick their relationship back up.

Like a lot of romance stories, Carol is about the start of a romance, while Bugsnax, as the main writer described in a recent article, mostly depicts established relationships. It's made clear right at the beginning that Lizbert and Eggabell are lesbians, in the first two lines of dialogue. Chandlo and Snorpy's relationship is a bit harder to figure out until the end, but it's established pretty early on that Snorpy loves Chandlo, and he can't figure out what their relationship is either. (They're dating)

Carol doesn't appear to have any non-binary characters, which isn't surprising given its setting, but I want to gush about Bugsnax's handling of non-binary characters, so: There is at least one non-binary character in Bugsnax. Non-binary characters that appear in fiction (rarely), are commonly depicted as members of species that treat gender very differently to humans, and in games, they're most likely to be player character and maybe some characters meant to mirror the player character. And I really appreciate those characters as well, but it's so refreshing to see one who doesn't fall into those categories. The player character may or may not be non-binary (Filbo refers to them as "they" a couple of times in a line early on), but Floofty definitely is, and nobody ever misgenders them, even though Floofty has alienated almost the entire cast with their personality. Nobody even expresses confusion or needs the concept explained to them. It's great. They're just there, they're non-binary, and they'd like to do some science now.

Bugsnax has more queer content in total than Carol, but Carol is a 2 hour movie, and Bugsnax is a 7-15 hour video game. Carol has a higher... queerness quotient, which might not be a thing, but is fun to say. There's that whole gay road trip. I understand there's a lot of yearning. The whole plot is about these women and their feelings for each other.

Lizbert and Eggabell's relationship is pretty important to the climax of Bugsnax, though. And it also doesn't end tragically. They both survive! And don't break up. I had a second "Does Not Bury Their Gays" sticker and I'm going to put it on the Bugsnax cover art! Right over Filbo's face there.

(Yes, Chandlo and Snorpy can die in the ending sequence. So can eight other characters. They're not being singled out for death. it's a failure state shared by the majority of the cast.) (Actually, it's weird how often people think that Lizbert and Eggabell did die in the end. They do stay on the island while the others escape, but I can't see how you'd get the impression they died unless you were already primed to expect gay love stories... to end tragically... Oh. I see) (They appear in the credits alive and the DLC added two more pictures of them clearly not being dead)

Carol is a grounded romance movie about queer struggle, and Bugsnax is a silly video game with normalised queerness. They're trying to do very different things, so it's hard to quantify which is the "best". It's not even comparing apples to oranges. it's comparing apples to Orange Peelbugs.

In conclusion, queer media is a land of contrasts. I voted for Bugsnax because I really love Bugsnax.