#and you can't find the door
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And when you're looking for your freedom
Nobody seems to care
#and you can't find the door#can't find it anywhere#randy meisner#glenn frey#eagles#country rock#classic rock#both safe at home
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On my first playthrough, I had the impression that Lucanis must have broken out of his cell himself before we arrived, that the Venatori he fought when we found him were in the process of recapturing him. I was assuming he'd spent most of his time in the Ossuary in one of the standard small windowless cells.
But now that I actually read the map:
The room we found him in is Lucanis's cell. Before you walk through the door to this room, the label on the map is "High Security".
This suggests some horrible new headcanon options for me!
When you first walk into this room, you see the Venatori using blood magic (presumably, or at least magic that glows red) on that central pillar of... ice? crystal? And then you distract them, and Lucanis breaks through the pillar while the Venatori are focusing on you. (And he kills them all using only his bare hands, as if he doesn't have any knives on him - I think the only reason he does have his weapons and armor is for video game practicality reasons, I think this scene was written and animated as if he doesn't have his gear yet.) So... was the ice/crystal something that the Venatori had conjured just now as a way to restrain him while they did whatever they were doing with their blood magic? Or is the ice/crystal a standard feature of his cell?
Assuming he's not usually kept restrained by magical ice/crystals, if he's usually able to move around within this cell behind the locked door, then that conjures up horrible headcanon option number two, because this room is a platform surrounded by a seemingly bottomless chasm. It is very easy to just walk right off the ledge and fall into the chasm and respawn. And Calivan was convinced that Lucanis was a failure and that Zara would never admit it. And Lucanis has been imprisoned for a year with a demon growing inside him like a sharp hooked claw in his gut, and by the time we found him Calivan was keeping him in a cell that has access to a chasm deep enough to kill you... and of all the forms Spite could potentially take, he manifests as wings. In other words, as something that would not let itself be killed by falling.
#dragon age#veilguard#i might revise my opinion on the pantry situation. maybe a dark room with solid walls IS a nice change.#interestingly this isn't where you find Lucanis in Inner Demons - he's in the torture chamber section of the blood vault#but this is the first place spite brings you#the one where no one's there because rook can't be there because rook opens doors you don't close them#lucanis had moved deeper into the mental prison but spite was very much still stuck in the same cell he had always been in
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au in which touya ends up having to watch natsuo put his hands all over you because you took something offered to you at a sketchy warehouse party that has you panting and whimpering and burning up and his own hot hands can't provide you any comfort but his little brother's cool-quirked touch can
#touya can't take you to the hospital because you took the pill willingly and he doesn't want you to get in trouble#and he feels so guilty because HE'S the one who brought you to the stupid party anyway#your apartment is too far away and your roommates already think touya's bad news so he doesn't want to give them another reason to hate him#so he drags you back to his house to try and help you ride out the high#and you're kneeling on the floor just inside the door to the todoroki home half-dressed because you keep trying to peel off your clothes#with touya pleading with you in a frantic whisper to just stand up and make the short walk to his bedroom without waking up his siblings#and a bleary eyed natsuo (still up and studying for a test he has the next day) finds you and his brother in the doorway#and natsuo doesn't understand why you're clinging to touya and behaving so strangely#but he does know that you sound pretty when you whimper like that#and that the way that the dim light in the corridor catches in the sheen of sweat on your exposed throat makes his chest feel tight#tw drug use
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Absolutely dying over the fact that Remus not only canonically hangs out in dark closets for no apparent reason but also that Janus knows to look for him there
#this was a trend on the dark side and you can't convince me otherwise#open a closet? remus#open a cabinet? remus#open the refrigerator? remus#janus needs to find him?#he just starts opening any closed door he can find#the trash man will inevitably be behind one of them#they're hide and seek husbands your honor#sanders sides#ts spoilers#ts remus#remus sanders#ts janus#janus sanders#dukeceit
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just for fun this time during 'sea of blood' I counted out all the venatori corpses I think we can be pretty sure were lucanis' handiwork before we show up (not including the ones he kills in his initial cutscene, and with an assumption that he's been at work mainly up and down in the areas we move through until we find him, not behind the locked door -- I think that's mostly the work of rampaging undead and other venatori-hoisted-by-their-own-petard suchlikes). can thus happily inform you lucanis has killed at least 32 venatori before rook and company get there. at least one of them he's impaled on their own weird crystal spike things the venatori mages cast as an AOE attack and that they're trying to keep him contained with when we find him. so he's clearly been keeping busy lol. that's my boy dispensing poetic justice and claiming some enrichment in his enclosure while he's at it good for him!
#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#I think he's been scouting around found what's techincally the way out realized he can't leave without his blood#and been shepherded/cornered in the room where you find him. or just as likely he lured them in there to take them all out at once#and also he's not a mage. how the fuck is he going to actually get the door out open and then not just drown if he does#even though he found it. lucanis dellamorte's very bad no good extremely awful horrible day (300+ day streak)#CAN the non-mage venatori get in and out of here without a mage to take them. many questions#him coincidentally escaping right now seems to be down to everything falling the fuck apart down there after zara officially voided#whatever OSHA regulations they ever had and the fallout of solas' ritual made magic run wild across the continent#it's interesting to note that the ossuary we see in this is actually pretty much emptied -- she's already retrieved#what she considered her successes. there used to be way more experiments down here until like a week before this#it's just lucanis and the other rejects left lmao#I do like (well. like is probably the wrong word) to imagine that lucanis has spent a sisyphean year of nearly escaping in there#he's killed a guard gotten to look around for intel for five seconds and been thrown back into his cell multiple times before#this time he's just got chaos and rook (basically synonymous terms right lol) on his side#also to all the 'why is he in his full armor and already with a neat beard' complaints -- because this is a video game#and getting a whole new model for him done for all of 45 mins of content max would not be a wise or fruitful use of resources#hope that helps!#if we're going to go watsonian about it he must have been wearing something when he got there and he probably had luggage#so idk he found those in a store room or something b/c callivan... not the brighest bulb in the lamp store clearly
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Meet the Artist 2024! I'm Bee, and I will be your host ✨
On a whim, I made a new 'meet the artist'… but it became such an illustration that it felt quite odd putting so much text all over it! So I kept it simple. For further reading:
Some major art influences of mine include Mia Ikumi, Naoko Takeuchi, CLAMP (esp the Rayearth era), Yoshihiko Umakoshi (specifically his Precure and Doremi work), Kira Imai, and Chiho Sato.
My tools are still generally paper & ballpoint and/or sai2. I've been drawing quite a lot offline, actually... it's just a matter of time before some of it starts to make its way up here. I just need to scan and sort things out, which I've become quite lazy about... This summer's been just gross and melting away all my willpower. Hopefully it'll start easing up now!
Anyway, that's all for now, thank you for looking ✨
August 30, 2024
#beedalee art#magical girls#meet the artist#I'm just a gothic office lady in her villain (boundaries) era#right thru this door you too can become a gothic lolita#also the skirt is an axes femme poetique#i can't seem to find an official listing for it though#found mine on mercari japan#if i find it i'll update the tag
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sorry anya and curly's collapsing twin star system kind of tragedy didn't open Your skull like a fucking pomegranate. have you perhaps tried being alive. or having taste.
#personally I can't think about curly laughing when jimmy finds the gun#or the ''now that i can't apologize to you I'm sorry'' comic without walking straight into a door but sorry for your condition get well soon
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gm_liminal_commercial
created by RileySV
#garry's mod#gmod#source engine#half life 2#sandbox#hearted#a car in the parking lot. no evident signs of life aside from your presence. the lights and heating in here are on. external doors locked#some stores are still in states of occupation but clearly none of them are actually doing business anymore#where are you? why are you here?#maybe you're in a weird vestigial janitor's position— showing up to move odds and ends out and make sure no one's broken in#maybe just a very boring security job for the last couple weeks#maybe (and this is a stretch) you work in the diner downstairs that still seems to be at least *approaching* functional?#most appealing idea to me is just being someone walking home from work/school and finding one of the front doors left propped open#you stop in and can't help but wander the still-furnished stores and marvel at the stillness#there's a threatening feeling when these liminal maps block or lock exit doors that feels very obvious and it's not entirely missing here#but it doesn't feel like very *present* danger? i can't help but compare it to sneaking through an abandoned building#you're not really in any danger aside from maybe getting told off by a security guard who probably doesn't care#but this map inspires way more positive comfy feelings in me than it does any fear. it's a callback to the urbexing teen years i didn't hav#and a reminder of just how much dead retail space now pockmarks my neck of the woods
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12. pushing a strand of hair behind their ear
For Annie and Brady please.
I love them soo much. And I adore your writing.
Also I hope you’re doing well and are having a great day :)
hello anon! thank you so much for submitting this prompt!! 🥹 it absolutely took a fairly cute direction in quite the circumstance (we’ll see what that means), so i hope you enjoy!! :) thank you for the love on annie and brady too! 😭 that’s so sweet!! they’re a joy to write so i hope this provides some goodness for them! YOU TOO ANON!!! i hope your day (and now weekend) is going wonderfully! please enjoy!!!
i found you again
(a/n): had a much longer version that this but….did not feel ready for that so, i shortened it up and made it work a bit more with the prompt and i liked how it came out so :) it is shorter than some of my other writings, but i hope to expand on it more in future postings haha! please enjoy!!
Annie slowly slid out of her bunk and moved through the tiny room towards Brady's bunk and got a look at his face, immediately shrinking a bit at the sight of him looking so safe, small and youthful in his sleep, reminding her of that last time they'd found each other side by side, the unknowing between the two of them, one of their last conversations face to face. And now….he was right there.
Annie reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder and gave it a small shake. In almost an instant, he awoke and turned to her in the darkness and immediately reached towards her like he always used to do and grasped her arm. Always reaching.
"Hey, everything okay?" he whispered quietly, his voice a pin-drop in the dark.
"I can't get myself warm." she whispered back, the frustration behind her voice, flogged with a bit more emotion than she was going for and he immediately moved over the best he could in the cot and lifted his blanket up.
"Hop in." he whispered, a small smile on his face. Annie immediately sat on the edge and pulled herself into the bunk, wrapped in her own blanket and turned on her side, immediately becoming engulfed in Brady's chest, his bit of warmth and him. He let the rest of the blanket fall around her form and then he immediately wrapped his arm around her, pulling her shivering form to his own side, arm rubbing up and down, a bit of friction on her clothes, from him. Annie snuggled her head into his neck, where it seemed to be the warmest and let out a small sigh of relief at the bit of warmth that was finally entering her body.
"Better?" Brady whispered, warm breath tickling her neck, and she smiled and nestled closer and nodded.
"Much." she whispered, "Thank you." He smiled, and she shifted a bit, cuddling deeper, and then sighed at the immense amount of comfort that she hadn't felt in days, finally encircling her. Slowly, she brought up a hand out of the warmth of the blanket, and brought it to the side of his face, gently brushing her thumb over the bit of stubble on his cheek, the pleasant feel of him just right there, was comforting in it of itself. It was all she needed.
"So," Brady whispered, his voice somewhere next to her ear, "I never asked, after you were captured - what happened?" Annie shifted a bit and sat up, away from the warmth of his neck, and instead staring down at him, her thumb brushing his cheek, head resting on her hand, staring at those twinkling eyes.
"I was out of it for the most part," Annie whispered back, reaching up to brush some of his strands of hair from his face behind his ear, over and over, watching the sleepiness roll into his eyes, "between the knock to my head and the knee, the lack of food and water….I don't remember much aside from well…..the questioning. The staring." She met his gaze, watching quietly as he let his eyes linger over her face.
"What'd they ask you?" he whispered, his voice so low, all she really saw was his moving lips in the bleary darkness.
"Questions about everything. The 100th. About Birdie; newspaper clippings and such. About Buck and Bucky, about the Regensberg mission - my name was in the paper. Asked about home." Annie managed out, her eyes hardly leaving his own, "I didn't tell them anything. I told them my name, my number, my unit. That's it." Brady watched her and slowly brought up his free hand and brushed it against the bottom of her lip, lingering over the few scabs under her chin from the few scuffles with Germans and falls and punches.
"You?" she whispered back.
"The same." he whispered, "Lot of questions about the 100th - Buck especially. A few about you." She stared at him.
"I didn't let on a thing, though," he whispered, "I'd rather die than give away info about any one of us."
For a moment, they just stared at each other in a way that was far more intimate than anything else in the past few days, enough where her heart raced, and she suddenly felt consumed by his ever-present gaze on her own.
"Did they do anything to you?" he whispered, his thumb brushing her cheek again as her hands continued to prod his hair, "I swear to-", he looked at her, "Annie, if they laid a finger-"
"No, they didn't, not like that," she whispered, hand shaking against his face, "just shoves, a few…punches-"
"Punches?" Brady whispered, "Annie I-"
"John." she whispered, louder than she had wanted and quieted herself, shaking her head, "I'm fine, look-" her hand cupped his cheek, "I'm right here." He stared at her so longingly her stomach hurt, that yearning, that want, that desperate, reaching nature lingering between them.
"I know." Brady whispered, his hand grazing her neckline which was layered in blankets and clothing, "Just….if I ever see them doing anything, I'm jumpi-"
"John," Annie whispered, her voice soft as cream, "you don't have to do any of that now. It's just you and me. Right here." She reached out and took one of his hands, placing it on her chest where her heart was, hidden under skin and bone and overcoats. Brady watched her, like some sort of miracle and believed her. He let out a breath and swallowed.
Watching each other in their current circumstances was an art in it of itself - their hesitant, lingering gazes, the touches on one another's faces, the way her eyes evaded his, but always came back, their bodies so close, pressed against one another, but still distant.
Watching Brady now, he looked beyond exhausted, more than he ever did back at Thorpe Abbotts, and the more she continued that same, calming motion of brushing his strands of hair back, sometimes to settle behind his ear and sometimes to not, she watched his eyes grow more tired.
And in a sense, she got the idea it reminded him of when he was a child, when there was no war and his Ma probably tucked him in at night and brushed his hair gently until his eyes closed. And now, he was halfway across the world, in a P.O.W. camp.
"You need rest," she whispered softly, watching as he leaned a bit more into her touch as her fingers graced over his cheek, his eyes fighting to close, fighting the sleep, "it's okay." He watched her through half-open eyes and brought a hand to her neckline and watched her.
"I'm glad I found you again, Annie." he whispered, "I don't know what I'd do if I knew you'd gone down and didn't end up here." Annie stared at him, her world stilling around her and she couldn't help but lean forward and press a soft kiss to his forehead, before pulling back and cupping his cheek.
"Get some rest, okay?" she whispered, "I'll be right here." Brady watched her again and then nodded, that small smile on his face failing to disappear, as his eyes slides shut and his body finally seemed to relax.
You couldn't do that much here, you were always on guard, waiting for the next sound of explosions, or someone in the hallway, yelling, screaming.
Yet, here, he finally seemed to let go of all of that and sleep.
And until his breathing became deep and slow, she sat up, running a hand through his hair and letting him feel at home for once.
Even if that home was nowhere near here.
Even if home was this, right here.
#masters of the air#mota#silver bullets#mota writings#annie bradshaw#john brady#john brady x oc#annie x brady#these two (sobs)#and yes.....this has always been the plan from the beginning if you were wondering (and as you can see....i still can't find myself writing#about when brady goes down in annie's pov)#(so we're avoiding it by doing this)#(ahhh)#this prompt absolutely opened the door to some quiet moments of these two side by side and sharing one bed is something i'm forever loving#please enjoy!!! :D#ladies who brady
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one thing that stands out to me about the IVF arc is the way that, for as much as i make fun of her for asking her coworker if she can have his babies, scully asking mulder to be involved in the biggest process of her life (and the most important thing in the rest of her life) is such a healing and reverent experience. like he says “i’m absolutely flattered,” but it’s so much more than that. it’s like…spending your whole life feeling like you should’ve died at age twelve and then being told someone just wants more of you, more and more and more, in everything.
#it reminds me of 'sixth extinction' / 'amor fati'#when he quite literally was tied down and couldn't speak#and the way we hear him try to SCREAM when his mother just leaves him there#but his mind is Silent from the moment he hears scully in the hall begging to see him#and he couldn't crack a joke or run out the door#he literally just had to lie there and feel it#feel it on his Skin#her hand holding onto him#her tears falling onto his face#listening to the overwhelming depth of her fear that she is failing him and her devotion and her dedication to finding a way to help him#her Pleas for him to just 'hold on'#'i think that...if you know...if you could just find a way to hold on...i need you to hold on...please...'#everybody go listen to the civil wars' cover of 'talking in your sleep'#i don't think it can be overestimated how much of an impact that had on them and the lightness and healing in s7. that he Had to hear it#and then with the baby thing it's like...he CAN'T deny her that. he HAS to say 'yes'#there's no part of him that's capable of denying her something that she desires this badly. enough to ask for outright#and so he HAS to let himself be wanted and be invited into this unimaginably important and personal thing#let himself be a part of something bigger. be SEEN as someone who is valuable in a way that's bigger#and again he can't run from it and he can't deflect it and he can't hide from it. he has to just accept it#txf.txt#per manum
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"It's normal for siblings to fight" Okay well it's not normal to be extremely classist and look down on your sister for being non-conforming. Or to go to the woman who ordered the death of your pet to tell her about your father's plans, when he specifically warned you against doing so, because you want to marry the boy you saw attack your sister and her friend (contributing partially to said father's death and your sister being unable to escape on the ship he chartered). Or to think of your sibling as unsatisfactory in comparison to another when you believe her to be dead. I notice that none of the "Sansa and Arya are going to reunite and instantly have no issues" crowd ever acknowledge any of this, which makes it seem like they don't actually believe what they say about their relationship being normal and easily reconciled. People wanting them to have no issues simply because they're siblings is another example of how fandom likes to flatten complex characters and relationships. They get reduced to being bickering siblings when their conflict runs deeper than that. If the author is telling you that they have "deep issues" to work out [X], I don't understand being so adamant about ignoring said issues. I also get the sense it's about ignoring the capacity for a certain character to be flawed, but that isn't going to change the fact that her "slip of the tongue" is very likely to be revealed and a source of further conflict 🤷🏾♀️
#arya stark#sansa stark#house stark#asoiaf#also if it's so normal for siblings to fight then why are you guys losing your minds over us theorizing they won't get along??#the amount of condescending /that's just how siblings act/ takes I see 🙄#sorry I guess? that we read the book and don't just delete parts of the story because we find it convenient?#it's not even like takes about them being enemies is widespread the most I see is that they aren't instantly bffs when they reunite 😭#some people theorize they'll never be close but guess what? that's a completely fair and valid assumption based on their relationship!#personally I think they'll have a sweet reunion before the issues they have inevitably surface again because while they've been through#a lot they haven't fundamentally changed as people or the values they hold#and I think that's going to be very interesting to read about!#I can't figure out why people always take the most boring bland route for how things will play out#mostly because people seem to be unable to swallow the concept that Sansa is a flawed character who isn't perfectly sweet all the time#and the fact that their conflict is instigated by Sansa's classism#which is funny cause in the grand scheme of things her being mean to Arya is such a mild thing that opens the door to a ton of growth#never seen anybody but stansas equating her being a bully to her sister to her being evil/a villain#all we do is point out that it exists in the story...people in this fandom have no concept of nuance I stg 😭#anyways they're both complex characters and their conflict is interesting and I hope we get to see how it plays out#cause it's definitely going to be better then that trash d&d came up with 🙏🏾
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I feel like when Virgil said he used to be scared of Remus he meant he was scared but would try to get a long with Remus. (While keeping distant lol)
Then Remus is madly in love and tries to get close to Vee no matter what lol
Yess
Whenever I think of them I think of that trope of a huge dark insane character that goes all dopey with heart eyes when that one character (who is usually much smaller than them) as much as lightly touches their hand (or, in other words, they are Morticia and Gomez)
I also like to think that in the past Virgil used to like listening to Remus' rambles every once in awhile because sometimes they involved things he likes (spiders, darkness, vampires, etc), and that was enough for Remus to decide that he was Good™
#sanders sides#virgil sanders#remus sanders#dukexiety#i want them to get along so badly#i saw a post once of a headcanon that virgil is the only person remus uses manners for#like he holds open doors for him and stuff and turns to roman like ''see i can be a gentleman!!''#(that's something directly from the post I'm thinking of)#(please link it if you know it i can't find it anymore)
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[For context, I'm an agnostic lesbian raised Mormon with some scattered Catholic influences from summers with my bio dad and his family. I have buckets of religious trauma and associations as a very predictable result, though not everything was terrible.]
So I was waiting for my best friend and his girlfriend to get home from dinner with my BFF's mother—this is the first time his girlfriend, who was a close friend of mine before meeting him, had met his family. Ash had gone downstairs to change and wipe off her make-up when someone knocked insistently at our door.
The doorknob is a bit persnickety so I rushed to let in my BFF, only to find myself facing down an unexpected but very familiar sight: young male Mormon missionaries.
me: Oh ... hi. missionaries: Good evening, ma'am. Would you like to hear news about Jesus? me: Um, I'm not—I'm a member, actually. I was raised in the Church. missionaries: Really? me: Yes :) I was the pianist for the primary in our old ward for years :) missionaries: Oh, what ward was that? me: St Helens. I didn't really go when I was in grad school and I just graduated. missionaries: Ahh, I see. Well, if you want to go back, [directions to the local church]. me: Thank you. missionaries, after a very awkward pause: Do you need any help with anything? me: Oh, we're... [*resists the urge to point out that the other household members who just happened to be absent are a Jewish atheist socialist, a devoutly Muslim bisexual post-colonial scholar, and an Exvangelical trans woman still processing her rage, and none of them would have the slightest desire to get help from Mormons*] We're good, really. My parents are the ones who would need help from the Church, I think, and they live over in [town], so their closest ward is actually the one in [other town] and they can reach out to them. Thanks, though :) missionaries: We could just leave our number with you in case you ever needed anything. me [very conscious of the temptation to call on the Church when a crisis strikes and I desperately need help, and how trapped and shitty I feel afterwards]: That's really nice, but I think we're fine. There are several of us here. I hope you have a good night, though! :)
#i only realized after they left that i was still wearing my rainbow shirt that my (mormon!) dad got me to be Supportive#but i was definitely operating on vampire logic - don't open the door all the way don't invite them in don't give them an inch#i also gave them my wallet name instead of the one on my membership records :)#ngl i just find other christian proselytizers funny to deal with because they're such amateurs at it. and i HATE proselytizing in concept#but retaining my membership has at least given me the unassailable advantage of the 'you can't baptize me MORE' card#super stressful to interact w/ them though. even sister missionaries are a bit less weird for me to deal with#the men look like babies honestly. i know VERY WELL the kind of social pressure they're under so i don't want to be cruel but yikes#lgbtqia stuff#cw mormonism#cw religion#anghraine babbles#long post
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being invested in all this time travel/time travel adjacent media at once is doing some serious rewiring in my brain
#link click#shiguang daili ren#zero escape#9 hours 9 persons 9 doors#virtue's last reward#zero time dilemma#boku dake ga inai machi#erased anime#sigmund corp#freebird games#to the moon#finding paradise#you can't all occupy my mind at once!! you can't!!!!#qulo talks
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quick painting of chrys the carrion bird and her nest at the top of the divine tower of caelid
#elden ring#tarnished oc#caelid#prior to getting radhan's great rune she was camping on the support structure to the left of the bestial sanctum#bc she likes caelid and that was the safest possible corner she could find#she moved to the tower as soon as she got to it#she doesn't feel the need to be subtle beyond closing the door bc like.#if you can get up there it means you have killed her and taken radhan's great rune off her body#at which point she isn't going to need her stuff anyway lol#plus it's high enough up that you can't smell the rot at all!#er oc: chrys#mango art#elden relden
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Gil gets hurt and Thena takes care of him. We need some soft content hehehe free choice and thanks <3
"You okay?"
Thena blinked. Her vision was fading on her. She looked back at Gil, who was staring at her with those big brown eyes of his. She smiled, moving away from the edge of the loft and leaning over him again. "I should be asking you that. You need to rest."
"I am," he pointed out weakly, moving his eyes around to indicate the thorough incapacitation of his body. They had gotten up the ladder on pure adrenaline. They just needed somewhere off the ground and safe for the night while the herd outside passed, or at least calmed.
The barn doors were holding, thanks to the plank of wood they had secured after all of them holding them with all their strength.
Thena had spread out some hay. They didn't bring much with them--this was supposed to be an easy day trip for supplies. She had laid Gil down, balling up her sweater under his head as the least she could do. "Let me see it."
It wasn't as if he was in a position to stop her. He grunted as she pulled on his good arm to help him sit up, although even that caused his bad shoulder some pain. "You checked it five minutes ago."
"It was not five minutes ago," she argued with him, their voices hushed. Despite the tense silence and the low shuffling of the herd outside, it was quieter in the barn than the sterile, smooth echoes of the hospital. Not that they didn't long to be back there at the moment.
Gil let her unbutton his shirt and look at his shoulder again. He had tried to save one of their own earlier, even letting his arm be pulled out of the socket. But the herd had won, and she had pulled him away before he could be swallowed up too.
The swelling was still prominent. She didn't have anything to help with that, and neither she nor Kingo nor Ikaris were knowledgeable enough to pop it back into place for now. She wondered if they would even be strong enough.
"I've dislocated my shoulder before, y'know."
"Is that so?" she whispered, pulling his shirt away from him as if it would cause the injury to worsen. Already his skin was starting to change colour.
"I was maybe 14?--my dad thought it would be a good idea to make me join wrestling. Thought I was too timid, especially for being kind of a husky kid," Gil continued as she traced the edge of his swelling with her eyes. She didn't dare touch it. "Obviously, I didn't wanna do it."
"Obviously," she added, because of course Gil didn't want to fight his peers as a growing teen, probably just as sweet and shy as he was now.
"So, my first practice I tried to just go limp and play dead, but the other guy was not having it," he chuckled. She watched the shadows of his breathing against the glow of the flashlight. "He ended up popping my shoulder out, he was trying so hard. I was just happy I got to quit the team."
"Gil," she scolded him with a smile. The idea of young teen Gil, shy in a wrestling leotard and just trying to make friends crossed her mind. "I imagine it hurt then, too."
He let out a breath. He was careful about it. He was putting up a good front, but she knew when he was in pain. She had seen it enough during their time on the road. "I guess it did."
She frowned. This wasn't the kind of injury they could disinfect and wrap up. They still had to get him back to the car and then back to the hospital without incident. And this was the open road; it wouldn't be easy to mow a path for them back to the cars from here.
But she could do it.
Gil wheezed as she helped him lie down again. He forgot to pretend he was fine when he was moving, his face twisted in pain. "Bill-"
"Hey," she cut him off. She didn't even remember his name. They had only gone on a run once or twice before. All she had known in the moment was that Gil was in danger. "Don't."
"He's got a girlfriend back at the hospital," Gil whispered to her. He opened his eyes, staring up at the room of the barn.
She moved to lean over his face, brushing his tears away. "I'm afraid it could happen to any of us, out here. We know the risks."
They all had to know the risks. What's-his-name had signed up for supplies duty just like the rest of them had. Ajak didn't assign people roles based on whim.
Thena leaned in, pressing her lips to his forehead. He still wasn't running a fever (good). "We'll tell her together--how hard you tried to save him."
Gil shut his eyes again. There was nothing they could do about it now. "You should get some sleep."
"Hypocrite."
"Really," he wheezed again. "You're not gonna stay up until dawn just because I'm like this. We need you at your best."
Thena looked out over the rest of the barn again. She could just barely make out where Ikaris was leaning up against a pillar, although she couldn't see if he was sleeping or not. Kingo was curled up on a stack of hay, already knocked out from all the effort they exerted.
"Thena, I'm fine."
He was far from fine. He was hurt, and suddenly their days on the road weren't so far away anymore. The sting of peril was hot on their heels again. She could remember holding onto him, willing to pull off his other arm if it meant not letting go. Kingo was the one to pull them both, yanking her backpack to get them both up the hill and towards the barn.
She opened up her bag. She should have packed for the possibility of being stuck out here, regardless. They were getting too comfortable at the hospital--too spoiled. There had to be something she could use to help Gil in some way.
"Thena," Gil sighed as she pulled out a blanket. It was barely a blanket, more some ripped old sheet for acting as a trampoline if they had to drop things from a height and stay quiet. It barely covered from his elbows down to his knees. "Really?"
"I said hush," she muttered, moving on to his bag as well. She dug out the spare shirt he brought.
Gil moved his eyes as he watched her. "It's a nice idea, but I don't know if a summer gingham shirt is gonna offer much warmth."
She made sure to huff at him, pulling it on over her white t-shirt. she didn't bother buttoning it, but she did pull it closed around her. It was big enough to feel like having a blanket around her. "No complaining."
She curled herself up next to his good arm, wrapping her arms around her knees. He was right, she would need to sleep, even if it was nodding off for a few minutes at a time. But she couldn't take her eyes off the opening to the loft. Even after she had worked her absolute hardest to pull the ladder up with her, the thought of seeing something poke a gnarled, nightmarish head up and look at her-
"Thena."
She inhaled sharply. She was falling asleep by the second. Her head tilted and she nearly flinched at the dry, borderline icy look Gil was giving her. "I'm fine."
"I'm not asking you to sleep," he pleaded with her. His good hand moved until he could tug at the shirt of his she was wearing. "Just lie down, please."
She buried her nose in the collar of it. In truth, she was exhausted, and being tired made her feel cold. But more than that, this shirt smelled like Gil, and their room at the hospital. And she needed to feel that, right now.
Thena shifted her weight, lying down next to him, still basically curled in the fetal position.
Gil was most certainly straining his eyes to look at her. But he smiled. "Feels like old times, right?"
Times when she would be unable to sleep because she had something far too precious to protect? Yes, it did feel remarkably like that. It felt like when she watched him sleep the entire night after he got grazed by a bullet, or when she watched him sleep as his fever get worse and worse.
Sometimes she still woke up from that nightmare, unable to stop herself from checking if his forehead was hot.
The thought spooked her again. The next time she fell asleep she probably wouldn't flinch awake after a few seconds again. Gil was lying flat on his back, his eyes closed. His breathing seemed even. She shimmied closer as best she could. Just once more couldn't hurt.
She touched the back of her hand to his forehead; no fever. She leaned up and touched her lips to his cheek; a little scruffy, but warm and living. With that, she could lie down beside him, not resting on him but pressing her forehead to his arm, just to have some contact with him. This was the only way she could rest.
Tomorrow, she could worry about getting Gil home again.
#Thenamesh Zombie AU#thank you so much for the ask!!!!#I hope this is something like what you had in mind#the vibe for this au is actually one of my faves because it's kind of evolved#but it still needs to feel very real in that it's still the apocalypse#of course Gil gets to know people at the hospital and chats with people at lunch and on runs#RIP Bill the Sharon Davis of the Zombie AU#the doors are barred up#Thena wakes up tomorrow still a little on edge#none of them have slept enough but they need all the daylight they can get#Thena helps Gil down the ladder VERY carefully#it's not easy#Kingo follows behind while she and Ikaris make sure they have a clear path back to the road#once they get back to the cars they can breathe a little easier#Kingo and Ikaris go in one#Thena gets Gil loaded up into the other with what they managed to salvage#she drives him back#the pain is really setting in now that the shock and adrenaline are gone#she speeds back to the hospital and Ikaris tells her off for it later#but Gil finds Bill's girlfriend and apologizes in tears#Thena offers what she can#she went back and retrieved Bill's bag#what remained of it anyway#Gil thinks it's sweet of her because she's not usually sentimental like that#she says only to make you feel better now go to Ajak#Thena watches over him extra close for the next few weeks#also yes she checks his forehead almost every night especially if she can't sleep#it's her comfort paranoia okay?
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