#and you can make batterys with em

[averysmolkirbo]

IDEA THAT STRUCK ME AND THUS I MUST WRITE IT DOWN NOW BEFORE I FORGOR

REGIONAL APPLIN FORMS FOR DIFFERENT TYPES WITH DIFFERENT FRUITS ITS INSIDE OF

LIKE ELECTRIC TYPE LEMON APPLIN

LEMONLIN!!!

[theresa-of-liechtenstein]

got a new laptop on sale yayy 😎 hopefully a zoom meeting will no longer threaten to wipe out my whole machine

[keeps-ache]

another day another consumption of vegetables

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Can you please do a part two of the Sebastian fluff where he lets his thoughts get the best of him and gets anxious that reader now sees him as a monster because of what they read on his document so he prepares extra good items and plans to give them heavy discounts and even some free but reader barges in like

"MANTIS SHRIMP??? PUNCH SOMETHING RIGHT NOW"

And after a bit of reassuring(possibly some punching too bc reader is too starry-eyed for him to say no to em) Seb realizes he trully never had anything to worry about and just, generally grows fonder of reader?

Ps. Adore your writing, keep up the awesome work!!

"God, why did I let them take it? Stupid, stupid, stupid.."

Sebastian couldn't stop beating himself up, even though he knew he shouldn't care about the opinion of any human sent by Urbanshade--especially one of the "expendable" class.

Yet because it was you, specifically--who was currently in possession of his document--he began to wonder what you'd think of him once you found out the truth:

That he was nothing but a horrible monster. Plain and simple.

If not the knowledge that he was a hideous chimera of several sea creatures' DNA...then surely the revelation that he caused the lockdown of the Blacksite would ultimately make you resent him.

He released all those creatures, who stopped at nothing to prevent you from reaching the crystal and had you running, fighting, or hiding for your life.

He was responsible for all the injuries you've sustained while crawling into his shop, desperately needing a medkit and a place to rest.

He would understand if you'd never want to visit him again after what they documented about him..but the image of your furious expression and overthinking the words you'd possibly say to him left him feeling incredibly anxious.

Suddenly, Sebastian found himself gathering more supplies. Medkits, code breakers, and every light source he had currently in the shop, trying to market down whatever he could. He was even willing to let you take batteries for free...which was something he'd never normally do.

Would it be enough to make up for everything horrific you discovered about him and the terrors he indirectly put you through? Absolutely not.

Was he willing to try it anyways just for the small chance that you'd keep visiting him? Maybe.

No other human has shown him a single ounce of kindness or gratitude for his services. Nobody except you, of course, and he refused to lose that.

-thump, thump-

"Shit.." He froze, hearing movement in the vent duct, hands trembling for his light to shine brighter. Part of him wishes he could stay in the dark, as he didn't wanna see your face and whatever hurt expression it could possibly hold.

But he knew it'd be rude if you actually needed to buy something, so he forced himself to look as your familiar figure crawled out of the small opening. You seemed out of breath, like you were just running from something, and stood up to dust the dirt off your pants.

"Sebastian..I need to know something, and you need to be 100% honest with me."

The moment you pulled out his document, the shopkeeper could feel his heart sink.

"Wh..What did you want to know?" He asked, already bracing himself for the worst.

You sounded dead serious, and he was convinced you were finally going to let him have it.

You were going to force him to explain himself and his actions, and tell him what a monster he truly was. Literally and metaphoric-

"Its it true that you have mantis shrimp DNA????"

Silence.

Of all the possible outbursts he expected from you, that certainly didn't cross his mind.

Sebastian just stared down at you, utterly dumbfounded. He blinked several times, unsure if he was truly seeing the wide smile and starry-eyed look on your face.

He had been waiting for a deep scowl, eyes full of anger and betrayal and sadness that he wasn't the "friend" he claimed himself to be when you first visited his shop.

Yet now? He saw nothing but pure delight in your expression.

"Um..yes. But of alllll the things you read about me, that shocked you the most?" He was still treading carefully.

"Well, it sucks that you were an innocent guy who got thrown into a shitty situation." You gestured to him, frowning a little. "And I'm sorry you never saw justice, but...it's just SO cool that you're part mantis shrimp!" A grin returned to your face. "They've fascinated me for years! I used to watch videos of them all the time. Did you know the velocity of just one of their punches is equal to a .22 caliber bullet-?"

"Stop." He put a hand up, huffing. "At least some part of you must resent me. I mean...helloooooo, did you skip over the bit where I'M the reason those monsters are after you?! There's no way you could've ignored that..unless your brain turned off the moment you read "mantis shrimp"."

"I read everything, Sebastian." You huffed back. "Look, if I ever had to go through what you did..I think I'd wanna rebel, too. And as much as those monsters scare me, they've probably endured the same experiments as you. They probably felt just as trapped and afraid. You must see at least a few of them as your friends, right?"

"Eyefestation and the PAInter are the only ones I consider "acquaintances"." He answered after a long pause, shoulders slumped. "The anglers are primitive, but they recognize me as the one who freed them, so they don't bother me or my shop. The only creature that tends to be an issue is-"

-thump-

-thump-

Tensing, you looked over your shoulder to see a Wall Dweller emerge from the vent behind you, its mouth split open and drooling with hunger, standing on two legs.

"-that." Sebastian glared at the creature; and before it could run away, he blocked the entrance with his tail fin. "Oh no you don't." He swooped over to grab ahold of its head with his third hand, causing it to shriek and kick its legs as he held it up high. "You seriously need to stop eating my customers when they're trying to BUY SOMETHING!!"

The Dweller just growled at him, to which he ignored it and glanced down at you. "What should I do with this thing?"

"Punch it!" You grinned, your fists balled up in front of you as you hopped up and down. "I wanna see how fast you could throw one!"

He raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Pleeeeaaase?"

"..ugh, if it gets that stupid puppy-eyed look off your face, fine." He looked back at the Dweller, grinning widely as he cracked his knuckles. "You wanna eat something so bad? Try this."

"....grahh-?"

In a blinding flash, his fist went through the creature's skull, effectively turning its head into dust. Then he dropped the whole body onto the ground with a grimance. "Eugh..never done that before.."

Then he looked down at you again, seeing your smile brighten. "Hope that made you happy."

"It did, that was amazing!" You laughed, kneeling down to rip off a chunk of the Dweller's flesh. He eyed you strangely, his expression changing to a look of horror as you shoved a piece in your mouth.

"What the f...why would you eat that?!"

"It's okay! I've had this stuff before." You swallowed, feeling rejuvenated already.

"B....Before?! What you're eating is clay and acid-"

"Actually, it's fresh meat. Reminds me of poultry, almost. I found a document somewhere saying that it has regenerative properties." You explained to Sebastian, whose eyes only widened the more you talked. "I didn't believe it at first until I saw the Angler kill one. I was hungry and...eating it healed my electrical burn somehow."

".......why was that not in its actual document?" He muttered.

You shrugged, ripping out another piece and offering it to him. "Care for a bite?"

"I'll..pass. But thanks." Lowering his body closer to you, he frowned. "Are you absolutely sure that-?"

"I'm sure."

"..you didn't even know what I was going to-"

"You were worried about my reaction to your file. I could tell from the discount signs and how you were scared to even look at me."

"............."

"But I promise it doesn't change anything, okay? We're still friends, Sebastian, and I'll still swing by to do business with you." You reassured him, smiling as you patted the back of his hand, before noticing the bandage on his third arm seemed bloody. "Um..when's the last time you changed that?"

"...oh this? Erm..it's fine." He attempted to hide it behind his back. "Nothing you should be concerned abou-"

"Too late. It's my concern now. Let me repay you for saving my tail."

He had no time to protest, as you were already on your feet and running for the medkit that was on the table. You weren't worried about getting to the next zone right now.

Not that Sebastian planned on kicking you out anytime soon.

No.

Now that he was able to confide in you, he was genuinely beginning to enjoy your company--especially as you asked him to rest his arm across your lap. From there, your gentle hands went to work changing the bandage out for a fresh one, using an alcohol spray to keep the wounds from getting infected.

He hissed and cursed a few times at the stinging pain, but not once did he try to get you to stop.

Suddenly, it all began to hit him in this exact moment.

You were willingly playing nurse to a giant sea monster that has killed a man and was responsible for the terrifying things you had to witness down here.

He couldn't understand..but at the same time he felt relieved that all along he had nothing to worry about.

"Th-That's fine..thank you.."

Hearing a sniffle, you glanced up as Sebastian hastily took his arm away, "standing" back up and turning away from you. You just smiled and patted his tail comfortingly, not saying a word as you waited for him to collect himself.

For once, that snarky and sarcastic fish you've come to know was gone, and he was letting his walls down, finally realizing he could trust you.

Eventually he fell silent, and you wondered what to do now. You bought everything you wanted to earlier, so you didn't wanna overstay your welcome-

"Do you mind staying for a little bit longer?"

The question surprised you, but you smiled and nodded. "Sure. As long as you don't mind, shrimpy."

There was a pause, and he slowly looked back at you, pouting. "Big talk coming from someone as tiny as you, friend." He playfully sneered.

You just laughed and shook your head, glad to see him in better spirits.

Thanks to that scrambler on his back, you didn't have to worry about HQ getting on your ass about continuing the mission or threatening detonation.

You could definitely stay awhile and ramble about more mantis shrimp facts to Sebastian...if he was willing to hear them, of course.

[frudoo]

I’m so soft for Simon today y’all.

Warnings: Slight angst—lots of crying. Hurt/comfort. Brief mentions of abuse but nothing specific. Overuse of italics lmaooo. Fem!Reader. Simon is sad :(

“Love?”

Simon’s been quiet ever since the two of you left the Garricks’ house. Kyle’s wife had cooked a lovely dinner, and afterwards everybody moved to chat in the living room. Your friends’ kiddos had been climbing over you and loving on you all night, jumping in your lap or begging you to play games with them. That’s when you noticed your husband’s frown—you had just assumed his social battery had run out, but looking back now, none of the signs were there. No short temper, no irritability, no desperate glances over to you trying to convey that he was ready to leave. Now, as you both lay in bed, he speaks for the first time in what feels like hours.

“Yeah, Si? Everything okay?”

He sucks in a deep breath, and you frown. Your husband has never been one to hold his tongue. It makes your heart pound with worry as you reach over to turn your bedside lamp on. Before you get the chance to turn and face him, he wraps his burly arms around your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder. You gently raise your hand to scratch the back of his head, fingernails grazing his scalp.

“D’you ever regret marryin’ me?” His voice is so small, carrying the weight of uncertainty and the fear that you’ll tell him exactly what he’s expecting to hear, to break him further.

Your fingers stall their movements and you forget how to breathe all of a sudden. Simon’s breath is labored against your neck, too hot to be normal, too wet to be anything other than the telltale sign of him about to break down. It’s a rarity that he cries, but when he does, it’s the most excruciating thing you can imagine. You can feel his pain like it’s your own. The second his first teardrop falls onto your skin, you finally turn to look at him.

His deep brown eyes are far too glossy for your liking, long blond lashes clumped together by morsels of liquid lies his brain forces him to believe.

“Never,” you frown, rubbing the tip of your thumb over the cleft separating his top lip. “Oh, sugar, what’s brought this on?”

“Y’deserve better than me,” his voice breaks mid-sentence, raspy and raw. “Someone who can- who can make y’happy. Give y’things tha’ I can’t.”

You lean forward to nuzzle your nose against his, gently locking lips with him in a short, tender kiss. You sigh into his mouth, uncaring of the snot and spittle that runs down his face. You’re just about there with him.

“You do make me happy, Simon Riley,” the whispered promise gently whisks across his face like an autumn breeze, refreshing yet not enough to calm his racing brain. “You’ve given me everything I could ask for and more.”

“No. You’ve… you’ve had t’make too many sacrifices f’me, and I don’t deserve tha’. I fucked y’over, and- and stomped on your dreams.”

“Simon, you haven’t-”

“You’d make such a good mum.”

Your mouth snaps shut, teeth grinding together from the sudden motion. Motherhood is a soft spot for you, and he knows it. When Simon first brought up the idea of marriage, he had made it clear that he didn’t want kids—too much risk of him ending up like his father, he explained. It broke your heart, but the thought of living a life where he wasn’t yours hurt far worse. In favor of being his wife, you pushed away the desire to have children, counting on being an auntie or something equivalent to your friends’ little ones.

You bite your lip, trying to blink back tears. He’s just saying this out of hurt.

“Seein’ y’with Gaz’s kids jus’...” Simon trails off, squeezing his eyes tightly shut. “You’re so sweet with ‘em. Fuckin’- you- you’re perfection, lovie, and you’re settlin’ for a monster like me.”

The tears don’t cease this time. A weak sob rips from your throat, and you dig your nails into his bicep to make him listen.

“You are not a monster. Y-you’re the love of my life,” your lip quivers, hurt evident in your tone. “I married you because I love you, Simon. Because I see what’s beneath the surface. You’re gentle, you’re caring—Si, you’re beautiful. You’re a good person, even if you can’t see it. I see it.”

“I wanna see it,” he murmurs, swallowing hard. “Wanna be better f’you.”

You shake your head softly, a sad smile stretching your lips as you wipe your tears. Pressing your forehead against his, you intertwine fingers with him.

“You’d make an amazing dad.”

It’s Simon’s turn to tense up, squeezing your hand a little tighter but not near enough to hurt—it just proves to you further what a sweet person he can be, that he is underneath his Ghost persona. You’ve never met Ghost, Simon absolutely refuses to let you see the side of him that the rest of the world does, but you know in your bones that even he wouldn’t hurt a hair on your head.

“Love, no, I-I can’t- no. I couldn’t live w’myself if… if I-”

“The fact that you’re so afraid of doing anything wrong is what makes me certain you’d be incredible,” you interrupt, pulling back to look at him sternly, although the fondness that hides in your eyes softens the blow.

“Wha’ if I end up hurtin’ ‘em? Get mad at ‘em and- and I hurt m’own child,” he gasps softly, nervously rubbing his thumb over your knuckles.

“Bullshit. You would never. Si, you couldn’t even bring yourself to kill the moles in our yard, and you expect me to believe that you could lay a hand on a—your child?” You scoff, cupping his scarred face in your hands and moving to straddle him.

“Lovie, m’not a good man,” he frowns, leaning into the soft warmth of your palms. “Got m’father’s DNA-”

“Stop that. You are nothing like that man. I don’t give a fuck what it is you do out on the field, but you have never once brought it into our home,” you huff, hands shaking slightly. “You know the difference between your enemies and your family even on your worst days. That’s more than you could say for your father.”

Your skin is tacky with his tears that continue to fall even when he’s rendered silent. Gently, you redirect his arms so that they wrap around your waist, warm and sturdy.

“I know you’re scared,” you whisper, tenderly rubbing his temples with your thumbs. “But have I ever lied to you?”

“Never,” Simon admits quietly, sniffling.

“Then believe me when I tell you I’m not lying now. You’re a good man, Simon Riley—to me, to your friends, and you will be to our kids. I swear it.”

He’s stubbornly avoiding your gaze, and you can tell he’s genuinely thinking about it. Gently, you press a kiss to the tip of his crooked nose.

“Let’s go to bed, hm? Sleep on it, baby,” you suggest, nuzzling your face into his neck.

You feel him nod and pull you down so that you’re laying on top of him—a comforting blanket of love that he needs you to remind him he deserves. He reaches over to turn your bedside lamp back off again, reveling in the cool darkness that engulfs the two of you.

“I love you,” he mutters, tracing random patterns along your back with his calloused fingertips.

“I love you more, big guy.”

[mooooonnnzz]

hi!!! I fell in love with your content and I wanted to make a little request, since it was on my mind for a while...

It's kinda cringe but I saw your hc's/fic about Stan's and Ford's reaction to their daughter having a partner, but what would they say about the break-up??? how would they react?? 💔💔

I'm Glad There Is You

Stan + Ford HC's of you getting broken up with!

ʚ♡ɞ 4,2k words

ʚ♡ɞ we're so back

ʚ♡ɞ i've been cooking this up for the past few days mwehehe

ʚ♡ɞ i won't be publishing fics as frequently! but its better cuz i wont be pushing out poopy fics. i can actually take my time with them and make em better :3

ʚ♡ɞ that's all enjoy! request are still open too :p

🎱 Stan

𝄞 Stan hadn’t suspected a thing when he saw you rush into your room after being out all day. You occasionally do that when you were exhausted and had no more battery left in you to uphold another conversation. But, when he saw you all disheveled in appearance. Not bothering to glance at him, let alone tell him about your day, he knew something was up. Springing your wellbeing in the conversation was tricky. He knows that if he straight up asked if you’re okay, you’d burst out into tears and cry out incoherent words that sounded like mushed up sobs into his ear. So how could he ease you into talking about yourself without having you break down? For the remainder of the day, he was tackling himself with ways he could ask about how you’re doing, stemming from slapping a sticky note on your forehead to passing a note under your door. But none of them seemed effective. His brain was splitting into two. He couldn’t decide and the day was coming to a close. The orange overhang of the sun shone into the shack and Stan was contemplating on asking your partner why you were sad because if he didn’t know what was going on, your partner had an idea or the full picture. He decided against it though. Maybe this was something you’d rather keep to yourself? 

𝄞 The stress was so bad he had to go outside for a quick smoke. Seeing you in an emotional state of disarray sends him into one as well. He plucked a cigarette from his pack and pinched it in between his lips. Craning his head up a bit to light up the cigarette, he shielded the orange flame sparkling to life from the wind with his cupped hand. He blew a stream of smoke into the evening air, his electrifying nerves nulling into a soft calming buzz. He knew smoking was bad for him, but he couldn’t stray away from it in times like these. The door to the front porch painfully creaked open. Looking over his shoulder, he softly smiled upon seeing you. “Pumpkin,” He pats the side right next to him. You take the seat and inhale the crisp air—well, from what you can get with all the cigarette smoke littering the air. “Second hand smoking is way worse than first hand.” You mention, delicate amusement trailing in your words as you take a seat beside him. 

𝄞 “You’re the one who walked out here knowing I was smoking.” He replied with a flick of his hand. Another trail of smoke escapes his mouth as he exhales, his body visibly relaxing into the familiar routine. “I should get a cigarette too.” You stretched out your arms, cracking a small smile. “Heh,” Stan flicked the cigarette, small shreds of ashes trickling down from the burning end of the stick. “You think you’re funny.” You nod intensely. “I think I’m very funny.” You look off into the horizon, eyes carrying such a thick somber look to them Stan had to finally ask the question he had been beating around the bush for who knows how long. “You okay, kiddo?” 

𝄞 Your eyes glisten over with tears, bottom lip trembling as you hold back the words you’ve been dreading to say to your dad the minute news broke out to you. “Oh, [Name].” Stan burnt out his cigarette, his arm wrapping around your shoulders and bringing you closer to him. The pure affection coming from Stan made you pour out more tears, trembling sobs wracking your body as you mournfully cried onto his shoulder. “Let it out, sweetpea.” His hand comfortingly patted your back. This wasn’t how he wanted this to go, but maybe you needed a quick cry to comfortably tell him what happened. His stomach churned as the suspicion of the reason why you were crying into his shoulder rose. He had a feeling on why you were acting like that, but he had hoped he was wrong.

𝄞 He wasn’t wrong. He was right, unfortunately for him. After recollecting yourself to the best of your ability, Stan had discovered that your partner had broken up with you earlier today for reasons that they had not specified. Frustration bubbled up inside Stan and it took every bone in his body to not slam his fists on your ex’s door, gun in hand to shoot them down for breaking your heart. Instead, he opted to swallow down his anger and tend to you. You needed him to be right by your side and he wasn’t going to suddenly up and leave to shoot down a person. He’d wind up in jail and then you would have to deal with the loss of your partner and your dad. The thought sent chills down his spine. You peeled yourself off his shoulder, leaving a slobbering teary eyed stain on suit. “I’m sorry.” You mutter, eyes red and burning from the force of squeezing them closed. “It’s okay, sweetpea. You don’t need to apologize for things like this, you know that right?” His thumb swipes a stray tear off your cheek. “I know,” You hiccup. Stan seeing you like this infront of him shredded his heart into tiny little pieces. Who could hurt you like this? How could someone protect his child’s heart and break it the next day? Your partner even promised that they’d never pull a stunt like this, and yet here you are, bleary eyed and sniffily.

𝄞 Your face pinched with a forever sorrowful look and for a second he thinks that he’s never going to have you back, he’s never going to see your smile ever again and that alone terrifies him. There has to be something that can cheer you up, right? You’re not forever stuck in this pool of sadness? This is something someone can get over right? All prior knowledge to his personal relationship flies off his head and out the window. He removes himself from his thoughts and grounds him in the moment. What is something that’ll cheer you up? An idea sprouted in his mind. “Want to watch a movie with your old man?” He doesn’t know how you’d respond to his offer and it slightly scares him. He’s never been able to fully predict your every move, but he has made some sense of them later on, but he’s never seen you in this state before and he doesn’t know what to expect. “I’d like that.” You meekly nod your head and Stan has to contain himself from lurching up into the air and cheering out in happiness. Rather, he clears his throat and broadly smiles at you. “I’m gonna take a real quick shower. Pick out a movie you wanna watch and I’ll be back in no time.” 

𝄞 The rest of the night was spent snuggled up in the sofa, a blanket of yours of when you were a kid was draped over you and Stan. It barely gave you any coverage but you claimed that it did when Stan would mention it. Stan didn’t want to disagree with you and besides, the blanket reminded him of when you were a little kid, carefree and giddy with little to no knowledge of idiotic people who’d carelessly shatter your heart and leave you without any consolation. The movie that was playing was and still is an all time favorite of yours. You and Stan had memorized the lines that have been forever sewn into your brain from how many times you forced Stan to watch it when you were little. Guess some things don’t change. The days following are full of extensive care and love, enough that would be overbearing to anyone that wasn’t you–at least sometimes. 

𝄞 Fishing outings were a must. Stan would rapidly knock on your door, standing on the other side decked head to toe in his fishing outfit. Your fishing hat in hand. You couldn’t say no to him when he’s looking at you with such a sad look in his eyes and dressed up, putting on your worn fishing hat that has seen better days. Stan proudly smiled at you, wiping off a tear from the corner of his eye. “Why are you crying, Dad?” You chuffed nervously. “My eyes are sweating!” He covered his eyes with his forearm, violently sobbing as he walked away to get the fishing gear. In his defense, he hasn’t gone fishing with you in a good long while and seeing you wearing your fishing outfit really triggered the water works in his eye. The past week has been an emotional wreck for you and him, who could blame him? You had forgotten how much fun fishing was. A laugh rattles through your throat as you reel back your fishing rod. This must be your third attempt in catching a fish, and Stan’s enthusiastic commentary struck a funny cord within you. With a few more tugs and reeling back, you caught the fish. “Awesome catch!” He patted your back with so much force, you jolted forward, making the boat lean to the side, causing you to lose your footing and drop the fish in the water. When you were about to revel in your loss, you heard a large splash and large droplets of water sprinkling over you. You turned your attention over to where the splash was heard and to your luck, Stan bobbed his head out of the water, gasping dramatically as his arms flailed around. “Dad!” You laugh.

𝄞 “The water isn’t even that deep.” Talking was a task to do with how hard you were laughing. “Oh.” He stopped thrashing around and allowed him to sink to the bottom of the lake floor. And to his surprise, the water barely even passed his upper chest. That realization made you hunch over in laughter. “Oh, stop laughing!” He grabbed onto the edge of the boat and tried pulling himself up, but the sudden shift in weight made the boat tip over, sending you and all the other belongings in the boat into the freezing water. “[Name]!” He looked to where you were under the water, ready to dive in and grab you from below when you sprung out of the water. You stared at him, cheeks puffed as you struggled to hold back your laughter. “Oh, whatever.” His initial panic was washed off with playful annoyance. “Go ahead, laugh at your old man.” He rolls his eyes upon hearing your boisterous laughter echo in the air. “That was insane!” You wrap your arms around Stan’s neck, hoisting yourself up so you don’t drown while laughing. “Yeah, go ahead. Laugh at this poor old man who’s clearly struggling.” 

𝄞 Singing your favorite songs in your karaoke machine was his favorite way to catch you off guard. He’d notice you reminiscing on the past and he’d make a beeline to your machine, slamming the buttons that would turn it on and play a song that you like. His gruff scratchy singing voice always pulled you out of your mind and into the present moment. Walking into the living room where he relocated your karaoke machine for times like these, you couldn’t help but laugh as he passionately sang into the microphone. “Disco girl, coming through! That girl is you!” He points the microphone at you, motioning you over to join him. It takes some convincing but when you do, you and him are blissfully singing your hearts out into the microphone. 

𝄞 Seeing your partner around town was an immediate mood kill for Stan. Unaware and in a chipper mood, he found himself in the grocery store. Stacking up on food and snacks to fill your stomach and his. When strolling into the available cash register, his smile curls into a grimace when he sees who was behind the counter. “You,” he spat out. “Ah, Mr. Pines!” They nervously chuckled. “Good to see you. How’s it been?” They can’t make eye contact. The lazer like glare Stan was giving them was enough to know that things haven’t been good. Grabbing an item from the shopping cart, he hovered it over the conveyor belt, mulling over his thoughts. He could not pay for this and run out of the store or he could unscrew the carton of milk and squirt it all over your ex. Or maybe, he could do both? With speed no one could comprehend, he undid the lid and spilled the milk all over them, chucking the empty carton right on their head for extra measure. He then grabbed the cart and bolted out of the grocery store, leaving everyone in the store stunned. “Is anyone going to arrest him or?” A random passerby asked, watching how your ex just stood there, completely befuddled with milk dripping down their body. 

𝄞 “Dad? Why is the news saying that you assaulted a worker in the grocery store with milk?” Stan scoffed. “Don’t believe everything you see on the news, sweetie.” He takes a good sip of his pitt cola. “But it shows camera footage of you doing it.” You gesture to the video that was playing. “Fake news. You know how technology is advancing. They can make anything these days.” He grabs the remote and switches channels. “There! Now, we don’t have to see that.” You smile, elbowing him. “It was cool that you did that.” You mutter. He chuckles. “The kid deserved that.” 

𝄞 Drives around the town and wreaking havoc in rival attraction traps were a good stress reliever and anger outlet. You were swinging with all your might, your axe that was in hand was splintering through the large wooden statue. “Keep going!” Stan was serving as a lookout, his eyes switching through the front door and to you. Sweat rolled down your temples as you delivered one last final blow to the statue. The statue slowly tipped forward. “Let’s go.” Stan urgently whispered, running back to the family van with you in tow. Stan started the van and sped out of the parking lot and into the driveway. “God dammit, Stanley Pines!” The person emerged from his house, shaking his fist in the air. You clapped your hands together, laughing. “That was a fun one.” You noted, swiping the sweat off your forehead with your shirt. “Who’s next?” You ask eagerly. “Check on the map. You decided where we will go next.” This was the first time you fully smiled at him with your signature laugh following after. No remnants of sadness stuck to you. He knew right then and there that he got you back. 

📖 Ford

𝄞 Ford was peacefully slumbering on the couch when the front door was slammed shut, scaring him awake. He jolted forward, the book that was covering his face fell flat on his lap, startling him. “[Name]?” He closes the book in his lap and pushes it aside. You didn’t respond and he was quickly resorting to the idea that it wasn’t you. Creeping towards your room, his knuckles knock on the door. “Sweetie?” He puts his hand on the knob and very slowly turns it. “I’m coming in.” He announces. Opening the door, his eyes land on your back. Quiet sniffles and hiccups could be heard coming from you and Ford’s heart clenched in his chest. He never liked hearing you cry. “[Name]?” He settles himself down on your bed. He couldn’t get to see your face properly since you were curled inwards with your blanket slightly obstructing your face, but he could see your body quiver as you suppressed your sobs. Ford sucked his bottom lip into his teeth. Equally as clueless as his brother, he doesn’t know how to approach this. He hadn’t had the slightest idea of why you’re crying and that truly bugs him. 

𝄞 His hand rests on your hip, fingers tapping in a soothing rhythm. “Wanna tell me what’s wrong?” He’s chewing on his lip, anxiety running its full race through his body, relentless and awfully energetic. He’s sure by the end of this, he wasn’t going to have a bottom lip from how much he was nibbling on it. You shuffle further into your blanket in response. “You don’t wanna talk about it?” He croaks out. He never liked when you pushed him away in your most vulnerable moments. He knows you mean well but he detests being in the unknown. You let out a small hum. He had learned over the years that two hums were yes and one was no. It was a very asbured way to communicate but it did come in handy when you weren’t in the mood to talk. This was a way of telling him that you weren’t in the mood prevented Ford from asking an assault wave of questions.

𝄞  “Do you want me to stay here with you?” Two hums. Patting your waist, he shuffles to the other side of your bed and plops down right next to you, mindlessly staring off into the ceiling. His anxiety was still pounding through his body, his clammy hands and beating heart proved that but it quelled a little of it knowing that you wanted him beside you. That you found comfort in his presence. He’d hope you did, he didn’t raise you all these years just for you to hate him. Wait, you don’t hate him, right? You could never hate him. He’s your dad! Can kids hate their own parents? He hated his dad so that can be a generational—

𝄞 “I think hear your overthinking from here, Dad.” Your voice comes out muffled from speaking through the blanket covering your face. He blinks, swallowing his doubt and looking over to your blanket covered face. “Sorry,” he lets out a dry laugh, scratching his cheek. “It wasn’t my intention to annoy you.” You pull the blanket down to the bridge of your nose, allowing Ford to see your irritated swollen eyes. “You’re not annoying me, Dad. You being anxious makes me anxious.” Ford cracked a smile. “Like father, like child.” That managed to pull a smile from you. “Unfortunately, I grow to be more like you everyday.” You say with a roll of your eyes. An overdramatic offended gasp leaves Ford. “And that’s a bad thing, how?”

𝄞 Playful banter was tossed between the two of you, each quick remark and quip allowed you to pick yourself up from the hole you were cowering in. After a while, you mustered up everything you had and told him about the break-up. Ford really couldn’t believe it at first. You had to repeat it to him twice much to your dismay but once he caught what you said, his face fell. “They were a waste of time anyways.” He said with a flick of his wrist. “Dad!” You weren’t expecting him to come off so strongly over hearing the news. “It’s true. They couldn’t even take my work seriously! How could someone laugh at my face when I tell them that aliens are real? Someone is clearly stuck in the stone ages.” 

𝄞 He was riding on the mindset of you need to forget this person and move on. Wallowing over losing them wasn’t ideal and you need to distract yourself with other things to prevent yourself from dwelling back on the thought of them. He was done with your ex, so should you. But he was real quick to find out that you weren't exactly like him in that aspect. He’d find you resting on the couch, eyes mindlessly staring at the TV as you’re cuddled up with blankets upon blankets. Tear marks were stained on your cheeks. Maybe you couldn’t distract yourself? Maybe he should be the one that distracts you? He’d scribble drawings of you and him on a piece of paper and fold it up into a cute little airplane and toss it over to you. You would unwrap the little gift with a smile, tears clouding your eyes. “Aw, Dad...” You held the piece of paper to your chest.

𝄞 Your favorite dinner would be cooked almost everyday, and if you have more than one, you bet he’d be coking it up in the kitchen, offering different favorite meals every night. Anything that would bring the smile on your face back. Adventures out into the woods, just like old times, was a thing he’d bring you along with. Even when you did protest and groan, whining how you would rather cry into your pillow, Ford stood his ground and made sure that you got ready for the adventure he had meticulously planned. The minute you step into the familiar lush woods, a sense of calmness falls over you and suddenly you’re a kid skipping around in the woods, in search of anything to show Ford so he could write about the new discovery in his book. Finding old discoveries lightened a smile on your face and unknowingly to you, Ford would draw you in his book like how he did when you were younger. Old habits die hard. 

𝄞 A lot of nights were spent you talking your feelings out to Ford. He was a good listener and had a few quips of advice to lend over, since he’s been in a similar but not so similar predicament. But he was more intent on listening to your concerns and anxieties. “I can’t believe I let them do that!” You plop your back down on your bed, anger spilling out of you in sharp words. He shook his head, a very sassy “mhm,” leaves him. “They didn’t deserve you anyways.” He moved his finger side to side. “Why are you acting like that?” You laugh, gingerly pushing him. “Don’t your friends act like that when something happens?” You beam from ear to ear, a loud laugh escaping you. “No! Where did you even get that from?” Ford shrugs. “I don’t know. I just thought they did?” He pretended to act clueless and with a big smile of his own, he watched you curl up in laughter over his ridiculous act. He could only think of how much he missed your smile and beautiful laugh. 

𝄞 Seeing your ex at the mall was a surprise both for him and them. Ford was scanning the shelves in search of something to get you when they approached them. “Sir, do you need any he…” Their words die in their throat when they register who they’re talking to. Ford hasn’t made the correlation yet, his attention so wrapped up in finding you the perfect gift. “Do you need any help?” They repeat, their voice cracking. Ford lazily looks over to them, dismissing them before looking back. Then, a look of recognition washes over him and he whips his head over to them. “You!” He loudly yelled. Customers in the store glance over to them. “Mr. Pines, keep it down.” They stressed out, teeth gritted together. “I will–.” An idea came to mind. “I’m sorry.” He rolled his shoulders back, untensing them. They look to the side, uncomfortable with the sudden change. “You’re sorry?” They repeat in disbelief. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll be on my way.” A strained smile pulled to his face as he bid goodbye. Stepping out of the store, he sees you happily munching on a blueberry muffin you bought from the bakery. “Hi, Dad! You got anything?” He looks around you. “Do you have any food?” You place your muffin down on the table and grab the bag full of treats. “Yeah. I got some–” Ford dipped his hand in the bag and pulled out a cookie. His other hand digs into the inner pockets of his coat and pulls out a vial of pink sprinkles. “I knew I was going to use this at some point.” He mutters to himself, popping off the cork. “What are you doing?” You ask, watching as he sprinkled it onto the cookie.

𝄞 “You’ll see.” He winks at you before scooping it off the table and walking back into the store. Minutes later, he comes out with a big sinister smile on your face. “What did you do, Dad?” He pointed at the entrance of the store and it didn’t take long to see what he did. A flamingo human-like creature erupted into the store, squawking crazily as their head desperately swiped from side to side, looking for someone. Their black beady eyes landed on you and Ford. An angry squawk was heard from them, their chicken like legs slapping on the floor as they charged at you and Ford. “Run!’ Ford grabbed your wrist and darted away. In a quick swiping motion, you grabbed your bag full of treats before being whisked away. Loud bird noises were heard behind you and you couldn’t help but laugh. “Who is that chasing us?” Ford took a quick turn into another store, shuffling past people and hiding in a discreet corner with you. “That may be your ex angrily chirping at us.” You clapped your palm onto your mouth, an effort to muffle the laughter that left you. “Of course you’d do something like that!” The rest of the day was stealthily trying to escape the mall without being pecked to death by a very angry flamingo. When you did, you were laughing all the way to the car. “Do you always have that around for times like this?” Ford nods. “You’ll never know when you need to make someone a flamingo.” The automatic slide door pulls apart. “Pines!” The now fully turned flamingo human hybrid squawked out. “Get in the car, hurry!” 

Taglist: @boredwithlifeatthispoint, @lovexsage, @teddycricketdream, @theilluminatidragonqueen, @raventeen @cedarmoonzz, @katharine3000

dm or comment if you want to be added to my taglist :3

[vaspider]

Any advice for someone thinking about moving to the Pacific Northwest?

That kinda depends on where you are moving to! Here are the things I've found useful to know about moving to Portland:

I moved from Philly, where people tend to be more kind than nice, and here, people are more nice than kind. What I mean by this is that people in Philly will call you a jagoff while pulling over to change your tire in the rain, while people in Portland will smile while they keep driving. (This isn't universal, but it's real.)

Oregon has no sales tax. You'll pay a bunch of different income taxes in April, though, so make sure you pay attention to your mail in the beginning of the year so you get all your local taxes done.

Locals tend not to use umbrellas much. I tend to not just bc the rain is rarely hard enough to require one. Get a good raincoat.

Portland was one of the first places in the US to be wired for home electricity. Therefore, the grid needs upgrades, and a lot of the big lines are not buried as they are in other places and are vulnerable to ice. Make sure you have good home batteries for when we have ice storms.

Ditto, the streets don't get treated for ice. Make sure you have good boots and YakTrax or similar.

Pedestrians don't fucking look before they step out into the street. If people acted in Philly like they act in PDX, they'd get hit. If you're driving in the PNW, act like every pedestrian is about to do the most foolish thing ever.

Ditto PNW drivers. I'd rather drive to EWR on a Friday at 5 pm than try to cross the Willamette at rush hour.

TriMet still has a lot of room for improvement, but it's a lot better than any other city I've lived in. Get your Hop set up when you get here so you know you have money on it and all, even if you don't ride often, just in case.

The Oregon Zoo membership has an exchange thing where every month there are different local places you get free admission to. Getting a membership is generally less expensive than going twice in a year, and also, there's a bunch of other stuff you can do with that membership.

Choose where you wanna live as the place you're gonna do pretty much everything. Portland is largely set up so you can do everything you need within your neighborhood, which is nice. Pretty much the only time that I leave my neighborhood is when I have to go to a specialist doctor or to hang out with my cousins who live in SW or go to a special event.

Portland has a lot of cool shit you can do in your neighborhood - honestly more than I've seen anyplace else I've lived. There are hiking groups and bike rides and soap box derbies and all kinds of shit. Join local FB groups, look for posters... you'll see 'em.

If you consume weed regularly & qualify for a medical card, get one. The taxes on marijuana add up a lot faster than you think.

Some of the best food in Portland is at the strip clubs. No, I'm not joking. There's a law in PDX that if you serve alcohol, you have to serve Real Food, which has led to bars and clubs competing over how good their food is.

Food cart pods are the shit. Research your local food cart pods. You'll get some of the best food you've ever eaten and can take a huge group of people with different food needs to a local food cart pod and just have everyone go to different carts and get their own shit.

Look into who owns your local weed store. There are good Black-owned stores, and one of the most popular "chains" is/was owned by some deeply shady people who essentially bribed one of our Secretaries of State. So it does matter.

Be nice to the crows. There is a huge huge huge local murder & crows tell other crows if you're an asshole or you're cool.

I'm sure there's more stuff, but that's what I can think of while I'm listening to a podcast and my wife is driving us home.

[glossdebut]

Take a Bite Ch. 1

✧ PAIRING: yoongi x fem!reader

✧ SUMMARY: Your fledgling career as a music journalist is finally going in some kind of direction that must be on the path to success. Your coworkers like you enough to invite you out on Fridays, your boss is starting to think you’re competent enough to let you score a few bylines, and you're finally getting the hang of InDesign. All of your hard work, late nights, and complete lack of a social life are starting to pay off... Even if it all came at the expense of the longest relationship of your life. Fine. You've accepted the fact that romance isn't for you, under any circumstances. You won't risk your career for anybody. Not even Min Yoongi.

✧ TAGS: slow burn, eventual smut, eventual romance, producer yoongi, music journalist reader, neighbors to friends to lovers? you'll see, reader is bad at feelings, reader is post-break up

✧ WARNINGS: social drinking, mechanical bull-related injuries lol

✧ WORDCOUNT: 2.7k so far

✧ STATUS: complete

✧ AUTHOR'S NOTE: hi! i'm aqua and this is my first ever fic so please be nice!! i will be crossposting this work and all future works on my ao3 of the same name. i'm figuring out how this works as i go, so please be patient with me. tags are subject to change with every update. i won't have a posting schedule for this one, but i have the first few chapters pre-written, so expect an update sometime next week!

Chapter 1: Lay Your Cards Down, Down, Down, Down

Although this is the furthest thing from your scene, you can’t help but think to yourself that you should invest in some cowboy boots. You could make them work, you’re sure of it.

Even if you know you would never pull the trigger on purchasing any, too far out of the comfort zone of your normal style, the thought is the only thing keeping you sane—that, and the sound of Cowboy Carter blasting through the speakers of the bar, a welcome reprieve from the drawling, boring country anthems you’d been suffering through for the past hour or so. 

You pride yourself on seeing the merit in all genres of music, you do. You were always the type of person who puffed up her chest when you told people ‘I listen to everything,’ uncaring of how pretentious it may sound. You mean it. It’s an asset in your line of work, and as far as you’re concerned, a little bit of pretentiousness is a small price to pay for the, quite frankly, baller route your fledgling career is heading in. 

But a Western bar? Not the kind of place you’d spend a precious Friday night willingly. Another hazard of the job.

After months of skillfully avoiding the weekly Friday nights out with the other rookie reporters at the magazine, you’d run out of excuses not to join them. If four years studying communications taught you anything, it was that connections are everything in the journalism business. Even more so where the music industry is concerned.

So here you are, at your fourth stop of your night of bar hopping with your extroverted and extremely drunk coworkers, nursing warm beer and observing from the least populated corner you managed to scout upon entry. All things considered, you had been a good sport at the three previous stops. You just draw the line at square dancing with the people you work with. College may have beaten your fear of impromptu phone calls and talking to strangers out of you, but your social battery can only take so much. 

Your phone battery, too, you think bitterly as you stare down at the low battery warning on your screen. Okay, so you’ll finish your shitty beer (because you’re not quite successful enough yet to afford wasting alcohol that you’re paying for) and then use your phone’s remaining juice to catch an Uber home. No biggie.

You’re in the middle of turning off your phone with full intent to work out the kinks of your exit strategy when you realize, with irritation, that your chosen corner is about to be invaded.

Your eyes land on a pair of black Jordans ( in a Western bar? your mind supplies, as if you have any room to judge in your Docs) and travel up, past torn black jeans and a black shirt, and just when you’re sensing a theme with this guy, your eyes reach a head of (regrettably, very nice) black hair and a pair of the darkest eyes you’ve ever seen. Anish Kapoor would wail at the sight of these eyes, you think.

As if sensing your apprehension, your corner-thief raises his free hand (the other clutching a plastic cup of his own) palm out, as if to say ‘I come in peace’ and stops in his tracks.

“I can find another spot,” corner-thief says, the low rumbling of his voice barely audible above Texas Hold ‘Em. “I’m just waiting for one of my friends to get bored or injured so I can leave.”

“Injured,” you repeat, despite your better judgment to take him up on his offer and let him be on his way. But your phone is dead and you’re a little bit drunk, bored, and even for an unwanted partner in social evasion, this guy is nicer to look at than the frat guys playing beer pong you’ve been observing for the better part of an hour.

Corner-thief grins a stupidly charming gummy smile, leaning just the slightest bit closer to be heard better but still keeping a respectful distance. As if he’s still wary that you’ll lunge at him if he encroaches on your space any further. Good man.

“There’s a mechanical bull upstairs,” he says, using his index finger on the hand holding his cup to point at the ceiling above you both.

Of course there is. With your luck, you’ll also have to peel someone off of the floor later after going head-to-head with the bull.

“Not your thing?” you guess, glancing pointedly at his Jordans, and he shakes his head, huffing through his nose in what you can only guess is a laugh.

“No, I wouldn’t say so.” 

He pauses, shifting from foot to foot for a moment before speaking again. “So, will you share your wall? I can look around again but this place is more packed than I would’ve pegged it for.”

You nod and he smiles again thankfully, taking the spot on the wall next to you. That should be it. Two strangers who don’t want to be here standing in companiable silence next to each other while they wait for their friends–or coworkers, in your case–to put them out of their misery and let them go home.

But… You consider your options, your phone taking its dying breath in your pocket, and you sigh, turning to him.

“Y/N,” you say, holding out your hand for him to shake. 

He takes it with his free hand, giving you an amused look. “Yoongi.”

“What’s that look for?”

He laughs again, a little bit more this time, and your heart does a stupid, funny thing. “I don’t think I’ve ever been greeted by a pretty girl in a bar with a handshake,” he says, causing you to flush and pull your hand away as if it’d been burned, your shoulders tensing as you take a sip of your beer. 

A western bar certainly isn’t your scene, but admittedly, neither are bars or clubs in general. You got all of that out of your system in college where everyone was awkward as fuck or too drunk to care that you were, and ever since you got your degree you have lived and breathed your work. Your social skills were never quite up to par, but you didn’t realize you were this fucking embarrassing.

“I came out with coworkers right after we got off, so I think I’m still kind of in work mode,” you lie, and as if sensing that you feel slightly made fun of, Yoongi shakes his head.

“I didn’t mean it as a bad thing, swear,” he says, tilting his head at you. Dark eyes considering you. “Honestly, I’m thankful you’re putting up with me at all. I don’t think I’d be so kind if the roles were reversed. I know firsthand how hard it is to find a spot to breathe in places like this.”

You feel your shoulder muscles relax just the slightest bit. “I thought about sending you away, but I couldn’t help it. My heart aches when I see an introvert in need of a hiding spot,” you attempt to joke. 

“At least I’m out with friends,” he says sympathetically. “I’ve done the coworker thing before. It’s a drag.”

“It’s weird ,” you correct. “I mean, I sit in meetings with these people. I avoid answering their emails all day. Why is it considered rude to not want to see them piss drunk?”

Yoongi hums in agreement, nodding his head. “What do you do, anyway?”

“I work for Look Here Magazine,” you reply, straightening up a bit in pride when Yoongi’s eyes flash with recognition, his body turning so his shoulder is against the wall now. You turn as well, facing him. “I write for the music section.”

“No shit? I’ve probably read your stuff, then,” Yoongi says, grinning. 

He’s cute. Hot. You can’t help but notice, no matter how hard you’re trying not to. The way that he seems to carry himself in particular, you think, might end up driving you crazy if you’re exposed to it for too long. Maybe you’ve been living under a rock, but you’ve never met a fellow wallflower that still exuded such confidence. He wears it insanely well.

“Look Here covers a lot of big artists,” you hear him continue. “I’m a little surprised you’re hugging the wall, honestly. This place is nothing compared to music industry parties.”

“Ah, I only started a few months ago,” you admit, looking down into your cup. “Not a lot of bylines yet. I haven’t made it into a room with an artist that big yet.”

“But you want to,” Yoongi guesses, and you nod, looking up to meet his eyes. He looks impressed, impressed by you , and that… does something to you. Huh. “Shit, that’s… That’s really cool.”

“Thanks,” you say. You can feel your cheeks heating up again, and you’re suddenly very eager to turn the attention away from yourself. “What about you? What do you do?”

“Ah,” Yoongi says, fixing his eyes to his cup just as you had a moment ago. “I’m a music producer, actually.”

You perk up at that. So that’s why he reads Look Here, why he seemed so interested when you told him what you do. 

“Anything I’ve heard?” you ask, leaning in like he’s about to tell you a secret. Networking never stops.

He watches as you lean, his mouth turning up at the corners in a smirk. “Probably.” 

You wait for more, but it doesn’t come. Shithead. So much for that.

“You’ve gotta give me more than that,” you say, and god, you can hear the pout in your own voice. Are you that drunk? Flirting for a lead in a story?

“I don’t,” Yoongi says simply, his smirk in full force now. Mean and annoying and hot. He hasn’t leaned away from you yet. “I want to know more about you, actually. Journalism is hard work. I’m surprised you have time to go out like this.”

“Like I said, I was forced.”

“Still. Spending time with your friends or family or partner or whatever must take priority when it comes to your free time.”

Why is he so interested? You scrunch your nose, trying to figure out what he could be fishing for here. You don’t make it a habit to divulge the details of your sad excuse for a personal life to strangers, but the alcohol has loosened your lips. Maybe you need to talk about it. It’s not like you’ll ever see him again, anyway.

“My family is back home. My best friend is this insanely talented playwright. She’s constantly traveling. I see her when she can get some time to fly out.” You take a quick sip of your drink, ignoring the pang in your chest. Sometimes it sneaks up on you, how lonely you are. “Other than her, it’s just me, really. The dating thing… Nobody really seems to get how demanding my job can be, and it always ends in hurt feelings.”

There’s a long pause, and you’re worried you’ve shared too much. You’re enjoying talking to Yoongi. You know it doesn’t matter, that you’ll likely never see him again, but it would really, really suck if his permanent mental image of you ends up being ‘lonely weird drunk girl,’ even if that’s what you are. You force yourself to look up at him. The look in his eyes makes your heart flip stupidly again.

“I get that,” he says, and his voice is soft, barely audible over the music filling the space. You’re reading his lips more than anything, honestly, and you don’t let yourself look at them for too long. He may be pretty—unbearably so, you’re realizing—but he’s a stranger. A mean, annoying, hot, pretty stranger, but a stranger nonetheless. Every guy says he gets it. This needs to stay what it is, you think. Momentary companionship between introverts who would rather die than square dance.

You don’t get much time to agonize over it. Whatever is going on between you and Yoongi is intercepted quickly by his phone buzzing in his pocket and his responding grimace when he pulls it out to check it.

“Namjoon fell off of the mechanical bull,” he says, like he’s completely unsurprised by that news. He downs the rest of his drink and pockets his phone again, pushing off of the wall. “I’ve gotta deal with that.”

You nod, pulling what you hope is a sympathetic face. “Good luck.”

His bottom lip catches between his teeth, and you hold your breath. He looks like he wants to say something, torn between rushing upstairs to save his friend and staying, just for a moment.

You think you know what he wants to say, think foolishly that maybe he wants to ask for your number, and you honestly don’t know if you’d give it to him if he did. You’re so used to saying no.

He runs his fingers through his hair, opens his mouth to speak, and then he looks down like his phone is buzzing again. When he looks back up, it seems like he’s thought better of it.

“Thanks for sharing your wall,” he settles on, smiling congenially. You smile back, and then he’s heading towards the stairs.

Good, you think. You know better. If he really gets it, he does too.

★ ★ ★

You’re dragged out to one more bar before you finally make it home, your interaction with Yoongi having knocked you off-kilter enough to agree to a few more drinks.

It does wonders for your social status at work, you’re sure, but by the time you’re dropped off you’re dizzy-drunk, fighting to stay upright in the elevator of your apartment building.

You’re fumbling and failing at getting your key into the lock of your front door, tongue poking out of the corner of your mouth in concentration, when a voice calling your name a few feet to your right almost makes you jump out of your skin.

You yell, clutching your chest, and when you turn to face the owner of the voice that almost made you lose the contents of your stomach on your doormat, you’re greeted by none other than corner-thief-mean-annoying-hot-pretty Yoongi himself, leaning against the door to the apartment two doors down.

“What the fuck,” you blurt out dumbly, and he laughs. At you! How dare he stand there, lean there, all hot and annoying and in your apartment building for some fucking reason and laugh at you.

“I was going to ask if you needed help,” he says, and oh, fuck. You were safe from just how deep his voice was under the thrum of the music at the bar, but in the quiet of your apartment building this late, you can hear it just fine. Feel it, even. Feel it in places you do not want to humor right now. “I’m going to take a wild guess and say you do.”

It’s obvious that Yoongi is faring much better than you are, although his night clearly didn’t end after the mechanical bull incident. Faster than you can react, he’s right in front of you, gently taking your key from your hands and turning it in the lock, like it’s easy.

“Gonna make it in okay?” he asks, looking down at you. You force your brain to make words.

“I’ll be okay,” you assure him, your tongue heavy in your mouth. “Are you stalking me?”

He huffs a laugh, shaking his head. “I think we’re neighbors.”

“Oh.” Oh. Okay. That’s fine. Just because he’s your neighbor doesn’t mean you have to do something stupid, like see him ever again.

“Give me your number,” he says softly. Oh.

You blink at him, and he grins. Gummy smile. You feel like you’re going to vomit all over his Jordans.

“In case you ever can’t use your keys again,” he clarifies. “I told you, those music industry parties are killer.”

And really, you’re powerless to resist. You give him your number, using all of your remaining brain power to remember the order of the digits. Seemingly satisfied, Yoongi pockets his phone and steps back, heading back to his front door.

“Goodnight, neighbor,” he says, unlocking his door with ease. “Sleep on your side.”

You swallow thickly and nod, slipping inside your own apartment as quickly as you can manage. 

Once you’re in, you sink onto the floor, your back pressed against the door behind you. Your cat, perched on your coffee pot, stares at you in your drunk, flustered state, unimpressed. Offended, even, judging by the way she licks her paw.

You’re so fucked.

✧ shoot me a reply or an ask if you enjoyed this chapter! feedback is always appreciated <3 join my taglist if you want to be tagged in future chapters!

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[athenasdaydreams]

pairing: jess mariano x fem!reader

summary: jess does not want to, and would never dance. except this one time

chapter warnings: none to my knowledge!!

A/N: Guess what dumbass pressed ctrl z and deleted all her work so she had to type it out again. OKAY IT'S BEEN A WHOLE YEAR SINCE I POSTED OR SOMETHING BUT I GOT TIRED OF STUDYING AND DECIDED TO FINISH THIS UP TO TIE UP SOME LOOSE ENDS

You had your legs on a table of Luke's diner, and you could not fathom how anyone could ever be more bored than this. You had to sit through Liz Danes' bachelorette party. You could imagine anything that would have been better than this. Being out with Rory and Paris, talking to Lorelai, or even letting Michel show you pictures of his chow chows. Letting out a sigh, you went back to reading Anna Karenina while the middle-aged women were talking about women not being monogamous creatures. "Is this how turkey legs are supposed to look?" Luke asked with a pained expression on his face. Carrie, one of the louder ones, said something about him taking his pants off so they could see for themselves. As much as you hated it, their conversations were kind of interesting. "Get your legs off my table I've got customers eating on 'em," Luke scolded as he looked at the turkey leg in his hand, as if he hoped that it would tell him whether it was cooked or not. You put your legs down and continued reading.

"I need to get some batteries, I'll be back," Jess said as he walked down the stairs. He noticed you were at the diner and stopped in his tracks. "Didn't know that you liked spending your afternoons with middle aged women." That comment made Carrie and the other women gasp. "The old ladies I wanted to knit with were busy, so I had to find company."

"Good book though," He said while you hummed in response. "Jess, Jess! Come over here and meet my oldest friends!" Liz said as she beckoned him over. Jess looked like he wanted to be anywhere but there. "Girls, this is Jess," Liz said proudly. A chorus of 'hellos' sounded. "Hello, handsome," Carrie said as she winked. You had to stifle a laugh for the sake of Jess. "He's going to walk me down the aisle! Is that cool or what?" Liz said to her group.

"It's no big deal," Jess said, trying to draw away attention from him. You found this funny. "It's a very big deal," you said with a dramatic look on your face. Jess gave an unimpressed look. At that time, a deliveryman walked through the door.

"Can I help you?" Luke asked with the confusion written across his face. "Got a package here." "From who? I'm not expecting anything?"

"It's a very important package," the deliveryman said with a serious look on his face. Luke stepped closer. "But there's no address on it?"

Jess smirked as he looked over to you. "I was going to go to the bookstore after getting batteries. Care to join?" he said, extending his hand to you. Looking for any way to escape this situation, you obliged. "Bye Luke, see you later."

"Have fun," Jess said with a laugh as you left the diner and heard a muffled "Have fun with what?!" as music started blaring from the inside.

-

"I was already having a bad day and then some guy had to spill his coffee all over my new blouse and my copy of crime and punishment," you lamented to Jess while you walked towards the bookstore which you frequented. "I didn't have enough money to get myself a new copy and a new blouse, so I decided to get the blouse because of my internship." Jess smiled at that. You were hardworking and diligent, while he was... less of that. You just got the coveted internship at one of the most competitive law firms in Connecticut, and you needed to make a good impression; a shiny copy of crime and punishment accompanied by a coffee stained lavender blouse wouldn't exactly do that.

The jingle of the door chime woke you from your thoughts about your precious copy of crime and punishment. Jess bent his head and didn't say anything to Kirk, the acting cashier, while you smiled and greeted him. You knew he wasn't one for politeness, so you tried to compensate.

"There's something I think you'll like." Jess meandered towards a shelf hidden at the back. You cluelessly trailed, wondering what book it could be. Knowing Jess, it could be a 2000 page book about a whale or a 20 page romance novel; the man read anything and everything with words on it. When he pulled a book off a shelf, your jaw dropped.

The blood-red lettering reading "crime and punishment" contrasted starkly to the obsidian binding that you ran your fingertips across.

"wow, this must cost a fortune, maybe i'll get it once my paycheck can get me more than one cup of instant ramen."

"let's go, i need to see what the guy at the diner did to luke,"

-

"does this dress look like too much?" you ask while twirling around in front of Lorelai. "no, this one is perfect. It makes you look like you'd be sitting in a tower waiting for your prince to save you from a dragon." You looked at her while she lounged on the couch in the house you had graciously invited yourself into. Well, she wasn't wrong. The dress was a light blue, silky fabric billowing around your ankles. The sleeves added to the whimsicalness of the dress. "only if the prince was Jesse Bradford,"

"you know what would make Prince Bradford fall in love with you even more? this flower crown," Lorelai said as she got up and pulled out a pretty-looking headband from a shelf. She put it on you and turned you towards a mirror.

"rory never let me dress her up like a princess; i should adopt you."

-

"hear ye, hear ye! announcing the arrival of her Royal Highness, the Princess, finally gracing us with her presence!"

"shut up, i was five minutes late; being a princess is hard work, you should know," you joked to Jess. You two met up near the gazebo, his reasoning being that he needed to make fun of you all dressed up as long as he could before he had to walk his mom down the aisle. "do you want to go get a seat? you're gonna be here for a long time. or maybe not, i've only been to three of my mom's weddings. "aren't you gonna sit down too?" you asked. "my mom wants me there to give her "emotional support" whatever that means," he joked as he led you to a seat next to lorelai and luke. Carrie from the diner yesterday was talking to them. lorelai looked concerned and luke just looked uncomfortable.

"hey, is everything alright?"

"no, there's gonna be a delay since liz ripped her dress and it's gonna take some time to fix it," carrie explained. "she told me to spread the message,"

"well, spread it car." luke got a suggestive look from carrie. "the message, the message." When carrie walked away, luke looked like he hadn't gotten oxygen in a good five minutes. "that woman makes me uncomfortable."

"poor liz, does she know how to fix something like that?" you asked jess and luke. "she was never one for household skills-" "i used to stitch up her renaissance fair costumes. trust me, she can't" jess interrupted luke. "i'll go see if she needs some help. where did you say she was?"

"she's at miss patty's,

-

You could hear Liz's laments from outside miss patty's. "my dress is ruined! how am i going to get married in a torn dress?" you pushed open the doors to Miss Patty's and gave Liz a concerned look. "I heard you needed some help? can i do anything for you Liz?" you asked, moving over to take a look at her dress. "I'm such a klutz, i tripped standing up and now its torn," she held up the side of her dress where there was an obvious tear. You grimaced and picked up the Doose's brand sewing kit from the table next to her, attempting to fix her dress.

"There you go! as good as new," you finished up the last stitch on her dress. "Oh, you're such a darling," Liz fixed up her hair. "you'd make a great daughter in law to a lucky lady someday. Could you tell jess to get ready for my grand entrance?"

The implied message didn't go past you. With cheeks redder than what your dollar store blush could get you, you thanked her and went down to the gazebo.

-

The ceremony passed by quickly, with you and Jess trying to think of sad and miserable things to make you stop laughing at the proceedings. "Oh man, i swear to you my wedding's gonna be better than whatever that was," you said, wiping the tears of laughter from your eyes as everyone went to the buffet line to get some food. "We'll see that," jess said as he inspected a turkey leg before putting it on his plate. You gave him an offended look. "Do you not think my wedding would be so much better than this 1500s medieval thing going on out here? I'd totally pick out a better theme," you said as you piled some mysterious looking food onto your plate. "I highly doubt that, and I hope you know that what you're putting on your plate is minced liver."

Your hand froze right right before you almost dumped another spoonful food onto your plate. You promptly pushed off the whole serving of minced liver back into the serving bowl. "That was so uncouth of you, private school girl. Did they not teach you manners at your finishing school?" You elbowed jess in the side as you chose a much more appetising looking burger prepared specially, from luke's. "one, i'm in college now; two let's sit down. I don't think they taught you table manners either city boy,"

-

After finishing up your dinner, you two decided to walk around to socialise. If socialise meant to make fun of every person in renaissance attire.

"the guy in the pantaloons probably thinks energy drinks count as water," jess pressed his lips to your ear, narrowly missing your cheek because of how much you were laughing. Everyone must have thought you two were drunk or high, from how hard you two were laughing. That was when you heard medieval sounding music playing where everyone had gathered.

"jess. you have to dance to this. i physically need to see it," you clung onto his arm, bringing him to the area near the gazebo, where Liz and TJ were dancing. They were doing some complicated looking dance straight out of the middle ages. "no way am i doing that. i'd rather slam my tongue in a car door." "please...?" "no." "...pretty please?" "fine, but you're coming out there with me." and before you could say no, he'd already dragged you to the dancefloor.

you'd be lying if you said you didn't have fun embarrassing yourselves. you'd only been dragged out of the dancefloor because TJ wanted to seranade Liz with a special dance just for her, and boy, were you glad you didn't have to see that.

-

Jess was walking you over to the gilmore house, where you'd been crashing with lorelai since your exams had been over. You, being a rich international student who's parents knew Richard and Emily Gilmore, had been asked to stay with them when you went to Chilton, and to Yale subsequently. Of course you could always tell them that your exams hadn't ended yet, and you were still staying at Yale, but where's the fun in that? You, lorelai, and rory, were planning on having a weekend of binging old movies and junking on the most unhealthy food you could find, so being a few days early wasn't a problem.

"after this is back to new york?" you asked him while approaching the door of lorelai's house. "maybe not, this time. might stay here for a bit; it's not that bad," he responded, leaning on the door. "any plans for summer?" you looked up at him. "you know, i've always wanted a summer romance. you know the type you read in the books, the notebook and stuff like that," you played with the straps of your purse. "maybe that'll be one of my plans," he said as he grabbed your waist and held you right up to him. "want it to be longer than just summer though." he pressed his lips to yours as he ran his fingers through your hair. you took a second to react, but you were kissing him back too. when you pulled apart for air, breathing heavy, you smiled.

"can't wait"

wc: 2.1k

[hazyaltcare]

Typing Quirk Suggestions for a Robot kin

I hope it gives you a wonderful uptime! :3

Mod Vintage (⭐)

Letter replacements:

Replace "O" with zeroes "0"

Replace "i" or "L" with ones "1"

Replace "one" with "1", including "one" sounds like "any1", or "we 1 = we won" (the past tense of "win")

Replace "zero" with "0"

Frankly, you can just replace all sorts of letters with numbers, such as

R = 12

N = 17

B = 8

A = 4

E = 3

etc.

or maybe make all "A"s and "i"s capitalized, cause "A.I." (artificial intelligence

Prefixes and Suffixes:

Get inspired by programming languages!

Begin your text with "//" like a comment on C++

If you prefer other languages comment tags, you can use "< !--your text-- >"

Or maybe begin it with " int main () { std::cout << "your text"" and end with "return 0; }" like C++ too

Greet people with the classic "Hello world!"

Or greet people with "beep boop!" honestly, I have no idea where this comes from, but it's cute.

Or write down html stuff, like sandwiching your italicized text with "< em> "

The possibilities are endless!

Robot Lingo:

(under the cut because there's a LOT! maybe terabytes! ...just kidding >;3c)

.

some of these are from the machinesoul.net robot server! (not sponsored) (we're not in there anymore, but we saw the robot lingo shared there when we were)

Fronting = logged in, connected

Not fronting = logged out, disconnected

Conscious = activated

Dormant = deactivated

Blurry = no signal

Upset, angry = hacked

Small = bits, bytes

Bite = byte

Huge = gigabytes, terabytes, etc.

Your intake of food, medicine, etc. = input

Your artwork, cooking, handiwork, handwriting, etc. = output

Body = chassis, unit

Brain = CPU, processor

Mind = program, code

Imagination = simulation

Purpose = directive

Nerves = wires

Skin = plating

Organs = (function) units

Limbs = actuators

Eyes = ocular sensors

Glasses = HUD (head's up display)

Hair = wires

Ears = antennae, audio sensors

Nose = olfactory sensors

Heart = core

Liver = detoxification unit

Circulatory system = circuits

Voice = speaker, voice module, voice box

Mouth = face port

Name = designation

Sleep = sleep mode, low power mode, charging

Eat = fuel, batteries

Energy = batteries

Tired = low on batteries

Translate = compile

Memory = data, database

Bed = recharge pod/charger

Dreaming = simulation

Birthday = day of manufacture

Talking = communicating

Thinking = processing

Transitioning = modifying your chassis

Depression = downtime

Joy = uptime

Trash = scrap metal

Fresh/Clean = polished

Keysmashing = random 1s and 0s

Self-care = system maintenance

Going to the doctor = trip to the mechanic

Group = network

Anyone = anybot

[doctorbitchcrxft]

Skin | Supernatural Series Rewrite | Dean Winchester x Reader

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader (Eventual)

Warnings: mentions of assault/battery, canon violence, canon gore (take care of urselves bbies)

Word Count: 5826

Mobile Supernatural Series Rewrite Masterlist

Supernatural Series Rewrite Masterlist

Supernatural Series Rewrite Playlist

You and Dean didn’t talk about Toledo. You were back to not talking about much of anything. Your fights had become much less frequent, and when you did fight, it was more playful than malicious. For that, you were grateful. You felt incredibly conflicted about the fact that he was beginning to grow on you. 

‘Like a wart,’ you thought. ‘Or a blister, maybe.’

Whatever he was, he was beginning to chip through your hard exterior. You also found out he hadn’t told Sam what you’d told him about your family which you were surprised by. 

The three of you spent more time on the road than you did anywhere else. When you used to drive cross-country by yourself, you felt yourself beginning to go crazy a few hours into the drive. As much as you loved your alone time, you also craved the company of others. Now that you had it, you weren’t sure how you were going to leave these guys once you found John. 

Dean turned in his seat to face Sam. “Alright, I figure we’d hit Tucumcari by lunch, then head south, hit Bisbee by midnight.” 

He didn’t respond.

“Sam wears women’s underwear.”

“I’ve been listenin’, I’m just busy,” he finally answered. 

“Busy doin’ what?” you placed your head on his shoulder over the top of the seat.

“Reading e-mails.” 

Dean had gotten out of the car and began pumping gas. “E-mails from who?”

“From my friends at Stanford.” Sam still seemed disinterested in conversation.

“You’re kidding. You still keep in touch with your college buddies?” Dean asked.

“Why not?” He still hadn’t turned his attention from his phone.

“Well, what exactly do you tell ‘em? You know, about where you’ve been, what you’ve been doin’?”

“I tell ‘em I’m on a road trip with my big brother. I tell ‘em I needed some time off after Jess.”

“And I couldn’t make my way into that lie?” you asked. 

“What do I tell ‘em, (Y/N/N)? That we picked up some chick in California and took her on the road with us?” he chuckled. “And I don’t lie to them. I just don’t tell ‘em… everything.”

“Yeah, that’s called lying,” you retorted. “I get it, though, the truth is much worse.”

“So, what am I supposed to do, just cut everybody out of my life?”

His older brother shrugged.

“You’re serious?” Sam wasn’t really asking.

“Look, it sucks, but in a job like this, you can’t get close to people, period,” Dean responded.

“How many friends do I have, Sam?” you asked him.

“Me.”

“Exactly,” you giggled.

“You two are kind of anti-social, you know that?” He returned to scrolling through his emails.

“Eh, whatever.” You flopped back on the bench seat.

“God….” Sam trailed off.

“What?” you and Dean asked.

“In this e-mail from this girl, Rebecca Warren, one of those friends of mine.”

“Is she hot?” 

You rolled your eyes. “Dean—” 

Sam ignored the two of you. “I went to school with her, and her brother, Zack. She says Zack’s been charged with murder. He’s been arrested for killing his girlfriend. Rebecca says he didn’t do it, but it sounds like the cops have a pretty good case.”

“Dude, what kind of people are you hangin’ out with?” his brother questioned.

“No, man, I know Zack. He’s no killer.”

“Well, maybe you know Zack as well as he knows you.”

“They’re in St. Louis. We’re goin’.”

“Look, sorry ‘bout your buddy, okay?” Dean chuckled humorlessly. “But this does not sound like our kind of problem.”

Sam wasn’t having it. “It is our problem. They’re my friends.”

“St. Louis is four hundred miles behind us, Sam.” Dean and Sam got into what you can only describe as a staring contest before Dean scoffed; seemingly admitting defeat. Next thing you knew, you were headed to St. Louis.

***

The massive door on the undoubtedly expensive house you’d arrived at opened to reveal a beautiful blonde girl. 

‘Damn all these pretty blonde bitches we keep running into,’ you thought.

“Oh my God, Sam!” she smiled, throwing her arms around her friend.

“Well, if it isn’t little Becky,” Sam jested.

“You know what you can do with that little Becky crap.”

“I got your e-mail.” His tone had become somber.

“I didn’t think that you would come here,” she answered earnestly.

Dean shoved in front of Sam. “Dean. Older brother.”

‘He’s making his fucking voice deeper again.’

She shook his hand. “Hi.”

“Hi,” she smiled back.

“We’re here to help. Whatever we can do.” You peeked out from behind Sam. “I’m (Y/N), by the way.”

“Nice to meet you!” You were only mildly annoyed by how wonderful her disposition was. “Come in.”

“Nice place,” Dean commented, taking in his grandiose surroundings.

“It’s my parents’. I was just crashing here for the long weekend when everything happened. I decided to take the semester off. I’m gonna stay until Zack’s free,” Becky explained.

“Where are your folks?” Sam asked.

“They live in Paris for half the year, so they’re on their way home now for the trial.”

‘Of course, they fucking do.’

“Do you guys want a beer or something?” she asked politely.

Dean obviously did, but his brother stopped him. “No, thanks. So, tell us what happened.”

“Well, um, Zack came home, and he found Emily tied to a chair. And she was beaten up and bloody, and she wasn’t breathing.” Becky began to cry. 

‘She’s even pretty when she cries.’

“So, he called 911, and the police— they showed up, and they arrested him. But, the thing is, the only way that Zack could’ve killed Emily is if he was in two places at the same time. The police—they have a video. It’s from the security tape from across the street. And it shows Zack coming home at 10:30. Now, Emily was killed just after that, but I swear, he was here with me, having a few beers until at least after midnight,” she relayed.

“You know, maybe we could see the crime scene. Zack’s house.”

“We could,” Dean agreed, but you could tell he still wasn’t picking up where Sam was going with this.

“Why? I mean, what could you do?” the blonde asked.

“Well, me, not much. But Dean’s a cop.” Sam patted his brother’s shoulder.

“Detective, actually,” Dean laughed.

“Really? Where?”

“Bisbee, Arizona. But I’m off-duty now.”

“You guys, it’s so nice to offer, but I just— I don’t know,” she said.

“Bec, look, I know Zack didn’t do this. Now, we have to find a way to prove that he’s innocent,” Sam replied.

“Okay. I’m gonna go get the keys.”

“Oh, yeah, man, you’re a real straight shooter with your friends,” Dean mocked after Becky had walked down the hall.

“Look, Zack and Becky need our help,” Sam responded.

“I just don’t think this is our kind of problem.”

“Two places at once? We’ve looked into less.”

Dean said nothing, clearly defeated.

***

“You’re sure this is okay?” Rebecca asked Dean as the four of you walked into Zack's house.

Dean clearly was having fun with the whole “cop” thing. “Yeah. I am an officer of the law.”

You hated how smug he could be. Rebecca came inside with you and informed you that Emily had let her attacker in. 

She then informed you about a recent incident that struck you as odd. “Um, there was something, about a week before. Somebody broke in here and stole some clothes— Zack’s clothes. The police— they don’t think it’s anything. I mean, we’re not that far from downtown. Sometimes people get robbed.” In the midst of her story, you could hear a dog barking angrily across the street. Dean peered out of the window, and Becca came up behind him. “You know, that used to be the sweetest dog.”

“What happened?” you asked her.

“He just changed.”

Dean turned over his shoulder to her. “Do you remember when he changed?”

“I guess around the time of the murder,” she shrugged. 

You found Sam staring at a picture of himself, another college-aged boy you assumed was Zack, and Rebecca that was framed in the hallway. 

Dean came up behind you soon after. “So, the neighbor’s dog went psycho right around the time Zack’s girlfriend was killed.”

“Animals can have a sharp sense of the paranormal,” Sam said.

“Yeah, maybe Fido saw somethin’.”

“So, you think maybe this is our kind of problem?”

“Yeah, prob—” you started, only to be cut off by Dean.

“No. Probably not. But we should look at the security tape, you know, just to make sure.”

You shot him a look. “The evidence is staring you in the face, and you still can’t admit you’re wrong.”

He shot a look back at you that said, ‘Don’t try me.’

Before you could push each other’s buttons any further, Rebecca came over to you, and Dean turned his attention to her. “So, the tape. The security footage— you think maybe your lawyers could get their hands on it, ‘cause I just don’t have that kind of jurisdiction.”

How Becky was buying into Dean’s lie, you had no idea. He was really laying it on thick.

“I’ve already got it. I didn’t wanna say something in front of the cop,” she giggled. “I stole it off the lawyer’s desk. I just had to see it for myself.”

The three of you went back to Becky’s parents’ home to review the security footage. It was of Zack entering his house, but a strange glint on the film caught your eye.

“22:04,” Dean noted the time stamp, “that’s just after ten. You said time of death was about 10:30.”

“Our lawyers hired some kind of video expert. He says the tape’s authentic. It wasn’t tampered with,” Becky added.

“Hey, Bec, can we take those beers now?” Sam asked. 

“Oh, sure,” she replied politely, turning to go to the kitchen.

“Maybe some sandwiches, too?” He was putting on the puppy dog eyes just a bit to convince her. 

“What do you think this is, Hooters?” she snarked.

“I wish,” Dean mumbled. 

“Can you focus, please?” you asked him.

“What are you, my mother?” Your banter was no longer filled with malice, just a hint of aggravation. 

“No, but frankly, the thought of you trying to bang someone makes me want to throw up in my mouth. I’d prefer not to watch it happen,” you replied playfully. “But look.” You rewound the tape an started it over. You caught the glint again, paused it, and realized Zack’s eyes were silver. “There!”

“Well, maybe it’s just a camera flare,” Dean shrugged.

“Does that look like any camera flare you’ve ever seen?” you asked rhetorically. 

He just looked away, defeated. 

“You know, a lot of cultures believe that a photograph can catch a glimpse of the soul,” Sam chimed in. “Remember that dog that was freaking out? Maybe he saw this thing. Maybe this is some kind of dark double of Zack’s, something that looks like him but isn’t him.”

“Like a Doppelganger?” Your brow knitted together, mind trying to wrap around what you were dealing with.

“Yeah. It’d sure explain how he was in two places at once,” Sam said.

Despite the luxurious villa Sam’s friend called home, the three of you didn’t want to intrude on her privacy; opting for yet another shitty motel. Something about this case was bugging you, though, and you tossed and turned all night thinking about it. And then, it hit you.

You pulled on your jacket and boots and rushed over to the boys’ room. A sleepy Dean answered the door. You hated to admit it, but he and his fluffy, mussed up hair were adorable when he’d just woken up.

“Morning, sunshine,” you grinned.

He scratched his head. “(Y/N), what the fu—”

“We have to get to Zack’s house. I just thought of something. “

Sam appeared behind Dean, already dressed. “Whatcha got?”

Dean stepped back from the door, letting you into the room. 

“We saw ‘Zack’ go in, but never saw the killer leave,” you explained. “But of course, we didn’t. Why would the cops be looking for that when they nabbed Zack in his house with his dead girlfriend?” 

Sam was with you, nodding his head.

“Did you have to realize that before five in the morning?” Dean yawned, pulling a pair of pants on.

“Sorry,” you replied sheepishly. “Couldn’t sleep. But I figured that out, so that’s all that matters.”

Dean shook his head and yawned again. “Sam, you’re driving. I might crash my baby if I drive right now.”

***

“He must’ve gone out the back door,” Sam said. You and the brothers were walking toward Zack’s house. “So, there should be a trail to follow. A trail the police would never pursue.”

“I still don’t know what we’re doin’ here at 5:30 in the morning,” Dean grumbled.

“C’mon,” you groaned, dragging his arm to follow Sam around the back of Zack’s house. Sure enough, there was a dried, dark red substance smeared on a nearby telephone pole.

“Blood. Somebody came this way,” Sam noted.

“Yeah, but the trail ends,” Dean added from a few paces ahead. “I don’t see anything over here.”

Just as he finished speaking, an ambulance drove past the house with its sirens wailing. You and Sam looked at each other before hurrying back to Dean’s car. Dean followed the ambulance to its destination where a man was handcuffed and being shoved into the back of a police car.

“What happened?” Dean asked a bystander.

“He tried to kill his wife,” she responded with a hand to her chest. “Tied her up and beat her.”

“Really?” you asked.

“I used to see him going to work in the morning. He’d wave, say hello. He seemed like such a nice guy.” She shook her head sorrowfully and watched as the police car drove away.

The three of you hung around the scene for a while until it had been completely cleared out. You regrouped while you snooped around.

“Remember when I said this wasn’t our kind of problem?” Dean asked as he approached you and Sam.

“Yeah,” his brother answered.

“Definitely our kind of problem.”

You gasped, feigning shock. “Mark it in the calendar, Dean Winchester admitted he was wrong!”

“Watch it, sweetheart,” he retorted.

“What’d you find out?” Sam asked.

“Well, I just talked to the patrolman who was first on the scene, heard this guy, Alex’s story. Apparently the dude was driving home from a business trip when his wife was attacked,” Dean explained.

“So, he was in two places at once, too.”

“Exactly. Then he sees himself in the house; police think he’s a nutjob.”

You paused for a moment, thinking. “You think it could be a shapeshifter?”

“Something that can make itself look like anyone? Sure,” Sam responded. “Every culture in the world has a shapeshifter lore. You know, legends of creatures who can transform themselves into animals or other men.”

“Right, skinwalkers, werewolves,” Dean added. “We’ve got two attacks within blocks of each other. I’m guessin’ we’ve got a shapeshifter prowlin’ the neighborhood.”

“Let me ask you this— in all this shapeshifter lore, can any of them fly?” the younger brother asked.

“Not that I know of.” You shook your head. “But someone ran out the back of his house and headed this way. And then… the trail just… ends. Just like at your friend’s house.” You gestured toward Sam.

“Well, there’s another way to go.” You followed Dean’s gaze down to a manhole.

“Ew, gross.” Your face scrunched up in disgust as Sam started to move the manhole cover. 

The three of you quickly climbed down so as to not be seen. 

“I bet this runs right by Zack’s house, too,” Sam said as the three of you made your way down the tunnel. “The shapeshifter could be using the sewer system to get around.”

You were leading the group, and stopped suddenly when you noticed a pile of blood and skin on the ground. “Blegh, look!”

“Is this from his victims?” Sam looked equally as disgusted.

Dean pulled out his pocket knife and lifted a piece of the skin off the ground. “You know, I just had a sick thought. When the shapeshifter changes shape, maybe it sheds.”

“That is sick,” you affirmed.

He dropped the skin back to the ground and turned to you to wipe his knife off on your jacket.

“Ew, dude!” you shoved his arm. “What the fuck?”

He just laughed in response.

You and the boys headed back up to the car to load up with some weapons.

“Well, one thing I learned from Dad—” Dean began, riffling through the weapons cavity, “—is that no matter what kind of shapeshifter it is, there’s one sure way to kill it.”

“Silver bullet to the heart,” you chimed in.

He nodded and handed you a case of the bullets. 

Sam’s cell phone rang. “This is Sam… We’re near Zack’s, we’re just checkin’ some things out… What are you talkin’ about?”

He seemed caught off-guard. You thought he was talking to Rebecca, but had no idea why she’d be upset with you. You eyed Dean who shrugged.

“Why would you do that?... Bec— We’re tryin’ to help… Bec, I’m sorry, but—” And then he clapped his phone shut, looking disappointed.

Dean found it an appropriate moment to be a bit of a dick. “I hate to say it, but that’s exactly what I’m talkin’ about. You lie to your friends because if they knew the real you, they’d be freaked. It’s just—it’d be easier if—”

“If I was like you guys,” he replied quietly. 

“Sam, I’m not trying to be heartless, but Dean’s kinda right.” Both brothers seemed surprised you were agreeing with Dean for once. “We’re not like other people.” 

“But I’ll tell you one thing.” Dean’s lighthearted tone was back. “This whole gig— it ain’t without perks.” He held out a gun to Sam, whose face was still crestfallen.

You followed Sam and Dean back down the manhole, gun loaded with silver bullets. You carried the case of bullets Dean handed to you in your inner jacket pocket; just in case. After a few minutes of trudging through toxic sludge with baited breath, you noticed another pile of blood and skin on a pipe next to Sam’s head. “I think we’re close to its lair,” you told them.

“Why do you say that?” Sam asked. 

“Because there’s another puke-inducing pile next to your face,” you snickered. 

“Oh, God!” His face scrunched up in disgust.

There was another pile of clothing and rotting skin a few paces ahead of you. 

“Looks like it’s lived here for a while,” you heard Dean say from behind you.

You turned to face him as you spoke. “Who knows how many murders he’s gotten away— Fuck, Dean!” you cried, seeing the shapeshifter in the form of its last victim behind him. 

Dean wheeled around, only to be knocked to the ground by the smirking creature. You and Sam rushed to his side as the creature sped off. 

“Get the son of a bitch!” Dean commanded. 

The three of you sped down the tunnel and followed him out of the manhole. You couldn’t see where exactly he ended up, and you decided to split up. 

Under the cover of night, you headed down streets and alleyways with your gun hidden inside your jacket. You came to a stop at a dead end and wheeled around at the sound of footsteps behind you. The shapeshifter, still in the form of the businessman, knocked you out cold before you were even able to raise your gun at him. 

***

The next time you came to, you felt itchy bits of rope binding your hands, feet, and neck to a cold, metal post behind you. As your vision began to clear, you could see you were in some kind of a dark, dingy room. It seemed like a house, but you weren’t entirely convinced. You heard what sounded like the older brother’s voice coming from behind you.

“Dean?” you called.

“(Y/N), it’s not—” Sam shouted, but cut himself off with a groan.

“Hiya, sweetheart,” he smirked, leaning down to your eye level. He put a hand next to your head on the post. 

You turned your face away from him, straining against the rope. He even smelled like Dean. 

“You are one fucking trainwreck,” he said, searching your face. 

You eyed him curiously. He just laughed coldly in response. “The more I learn about you, the more fucked up you get.”

“What do you mean ‘learn’?” 

As if on cue, the shapeshifter held a hand to his temple, grunting in pain. After a moment had passed, he spoke again. “You made a big mistake telling him— I mean, me— about what you did to your family. If I wasn’t ready to get rid of you before, I sure as hell am now. I hope you’re tellin’ the truth about leaving the second we find Dad, ‘cause I don’t know how much longer I can put up with you. God, from your voice to your personality, you aggravate the livin’ crap outta me.” The shapeshifter leaned back down in front of your face, the two of you only inches away from one another.

“You’re a burden, (Y/N). You’re exhausting to be around. I constantly have to keep my guard up around you. I can’t trust you, not after what you told me in Toledo. How do I know you won’t turn on me and Sammy?”

Tears welled up in your eyes, but you kept them at bay. You instead reared back as much as you could and spat in his face. You had taken him by surprise, but his hand was around your throat in an instant. His lips were inches away from your ear and he squeezed your neck just tight enough to where you were beginning to see stars. “You fucking bitch. Y’know, take your voice and personality away, Dean would definitely wanna fuck you. He thought you were hot the first time he met you. Then he actually got to know you, and, eh, things changed. But I’m sure he’d have tons of fun with Sam’s little friend Becky.” A wicked grin spread across his face. “I think I’ll go pay her a visit.”

He released your throat and you sputtered and coughed when he did. He covered you up with a tarp moments later. You felt pathetic, but you let your tears flow freely now that he was gone, wiggling around to get the tarp off your head. 

“(Y/N), are you back there?” Dean called from somewhere you couldn’t see. 

You knew he hadn’t said those hurtful things to you, but it was still difficult to hear his voice. “Yeah, yeah. I’m here.” Your voice was still shaky from crying. “He went to Rebecca’s, lookin’ like you.”

“Well, he’s not stupid. He picked the handsome one,” Dean gibed at his brother.

You admired his ability to keep his snarky attitude and stupid jokes despite his circumstances. His confidence bewildered you at times.

You pulled at the ropes binding your hands, hissing when you felt the rope creating angry brush burns on your wrists. 

“Yeah, that’s the thing. He didn’t just look like you, he was you. Or he was becoming you,” you heard Sam tell Dean.

“What do you mean?” the older brother asked.

“Yeah, it was like he was downloading your thoughts and memories,” you told him.

“You mean, like the Vulcan mind meld?” 

You giggled. “Somethin’ like that.”

“Maybe that’s why he doesn’t just kill us,” Sam added.

“Yeah, he probably needs to keep us alive. Some kind of psychic connection— ah,” you yelped at the feeling of the rope aggravating your wrists again. The shifter had bound you unbelievably tightly.

“(Y/N), stop, I’m coming to help you,” Dean instructed. 

“I’m a big girl,” you replied sassily. “I can do it.”

Dean had made his way over to you. “Do you have to fight me on everything?” He untied your hands with ease and began working on your neck. 

“Yes, but thank you,” you told him. You still couldn’t look him in the eyes after what the shifter had told you. You were doing your best to keep your exterior steely. You couldn’t deny, though, that his tight-fitting gray t-shirt over rippling muscle and the way he’d helped you were starting to break down your walls a little. 

“Come on, we gotta go,” you heard Sam order from behind you. “He’s probably at Rebecca’s already.”

Dean pushed a window out of the building you were kept in and the three of you climbed out. 

Sam started down the street. “Come on. We gotta find a phone, call the police.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Dean stopped him. “You’re gonna put an APB out on me.”

His brother shrugged. “Sorry.”

“This way.” Dean led the three of you down the street. You ran shielded by the darkness until you reached a store window. There was a display wall of televisions in it, and the news was on. Conveniently, Dean was the breaking news.

“An anonymous tip led police to a home in the Central West End—” the reporter stated, “—where a S.W.A.T team discovered a local woman bound and gagged. Her attacker, a white male, approximately twenty-four to thirty years of age, was discovered hiding in her home.”

Of course, Dean’s attitude was unwavering. “Man! That’s not even a good picture.”

You looked around nervously. 

“It’s good enough,” Sam said.

“Man!” Dean grumbled, following Sam down the street to an alleyway. 

“They said attempted murder,” you pointed out. “At least we know—”

“I didn’t kill her.”

You nodded.

“We’ll check with Rebecca in the morning, see if she’s all right,” Sam said, looking over his shoulder.

“Alright, but first I wanna find that handsome devil and kick the holy crap out of him.” 

‘He’s still as arrogant as ever.’

“We have no weapons, though. No silver bullets,” you countered. 

“Sweetheart, the guy’s walkin’ around with my face, okay, it’s a little personal, I wanna find him.” He turned to face you, but you couldn’t meet his eyes.

“I get it. We need guns, though.”

“The car?” Sam threw in. 

“I’m bettin’ he drove over to Rebecca’s.” Dean’s face began to heat up. You knew he was thinking about his precious Impala.

“The news said he fled on foot. I bet it’s still parked there.”

“The thought of him drivin’ my car—” he whined.

You shook your head. “Come on.”

“It’s killin’ me,” Dean whined again.

“Let it go,” you and Sam commanded over your shoulders.

The three of you rounded the corner along a tall hedge only to be greeted by the sight of the car.

“Oh, there she is! Finally, something went right tonight.” Dean’s joy was almost contagious.

His stupor was broken by a police car appearing down Rebecca’s street and blocking the end of the road. 

“Fuck.” You spun around the way you came, but another cop car appeared back down that street, too. 

“This way, this way,” Dean began leading you over to a fence and easily climbed atop it. 

“You guys go. I’ll hold ‘em off,” Sam told you.

“What are you talking about? They’ll catch you.” Dean turned into a seated position on top the fence.

“Look, they can’t hold me. Just go, keep out of sight. Meet me at Rebecca’s,” Sam quickly spoke. 

You and Dean hopped over multiple fences, fatiguing your limbs quickly. Several blocks from where you and the boys had run into the cops, the two of you stopped to catch your breath. You sat down on a street corner and tucked your knees into your chest.

Dean sat beside you. “What did he say to you?”

You turned to him. “Huh?”

“The shifter. What’d he say to you?”

You shook your head. “Nothing, it’s fine—”

“(Y/N), you haven’t looked at me once since we left that thing’s hideout. Tell me what he said.”

“Why can’t you drop it?” you spat, looking down at your boots.

“Because,” he protested. “I gave you a chance to explain in Toledo. At the very least, you owe me that.”

You sighed. “He said you think I’m annoying. And, um, a burden. He said you’re trying to find your dad so quick to get rid of me. And that you can’t trust me because of what I did to my family.”

Dean was silent for a moment. “Anything else?”

“He said everything about me aggravates you and that I exhaust you.”

He nodded. “Do you really believe that?” You could feel his gaze burning holes into the side of your face.

“I don’t know,” you answered honestly. “You haven’t exactly proven otherwise to me.” You looked up at him for the first time in hours.

He seemed surprised by that answer.

“Don’t look at me like that. Aside from Toledo and a few seconds on that plane, all we’ve ever done is fight,” you reminded him.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” A few moments of silence passed before he spoke again. “But I don’t think those things about you. Honest.”

“I feel like I’m pulling teeth here, Dean,” you remarked. “What do you think of me?”

“I mean, you can be annoying.”

You scoffed, but a smile tugged at your lips. 

“And you’re way too stubborn.”

You raised an eyebrow at him. “And so are you.”

“And you’re too smart for your own good.”

“I wouldn’t say that…”

“Would you let me finish?” he deadpanned.

You took a deep breath. “Yeah, sorry.”

“You just… you intimidate me a little, honestly.” Now Dean was the one who couldn’t look at you.

You were shocked. “Really? Why?”

“Dammit, (Y/N), I’m not good at this,” he sighed. “I know you heard what I said to Haley about that being the most honest I’ve ever been with a woman.”

You giggled at the memory.

“This tops that by far,” he admitted.

You nodded. You’d have this conversation another time. You rose to your feet, and he followed suit. 

“Can we start over?” you asked him.

He eyed you curiously.

“As… acquaintances, I mean,” you explained. “We’re no closer to finding your dad than we were the day I met you, so I imagine I’ll be around for a little while longer. I’d rather us not fight the whole time. It’s getting exhausting, if I’m being honest.”

He chuckles. “Yeah, I guess we can do that.”

“Okay, then.” You cleared your throat and stuck out your hand. “Hi. I’m (Y/N).”

Dean shook his head at your antics despite the smile pulling on his lips. “Dean.” This time, he actually shook your hand.

***

Later that morning, you and Dean had returned to the car for weapons. Thankfully, Dean still had some silver bullets left in the trunk. With guns in hand, the two of you headed back to the sewers. A few minutes into your walk, you came across a rancid pile of flesh, teeth, and fingernails.

“I think I’m gonna be sick.” Your face contorted in disgust. You looked up when you heard a rustling noise a little down the tunnel. You could see a dim glow from the place you’d heard the rustling. You tightened your grip on your gun and let Dean lead the way into the chamber. He nodded his head in the direction of the left side of a figure covered in a tarp at the back end of the chamber, indicating for you to go that way. You followed his instruction and crept up on the figure with him. He pulled the sheet away from the figure, only to reveal Rebecca.

“What happened?” you asked her. Her hands and feet were bound, her mouth was gagged, her hair was a mess, and her skin was littered with bruising and cuts. 

She was still shaking and crying as she spoke. “I was walking home, and everything just went white. Someone hit me over the head, and I wound up here just in time to see that thing turn into me. I don’t know, how is that even possible?”

“Okay, okay. It’s okay,” Dean told her. 

The two of you untied her and made sure she was able to walk before guiding her out of the sewers.

“We’ve gotta hurry,” Dean said. “Sam went to see you.”

When you got to Rebecca’s house, all you could hear was the grunting, furniture breaking, skin hitting skin, and bones cracking coming from the living room. And then, choking. You had no doubt it was Sam.

Dean seemed to pick up on that as well. He hurried into the den, shouting, “Hey!”

The shifter spotted Dean and got off of Sam. Dean shot twice, and with that, the shifter was dead. 

You rushed over to Sam and cradled his head in your lap. “Are you okay?” you asked him. 

He smiled painfully at you. “Peachy.”

You giggled at him. You looked up at Dean standing over… Dean… and watched as he ripped his necklace off the shifter.

You watched Rebecca say goodbye to Sam, and she waved at you and Dean who stood by the Impala. She turned to go back inside her house.

Sam approached the two of you.

“So, what about your friend, Zack?” Dean asked his brother.

“Cops are blamin’ this Dean Winchester guy for Emily’s murder,” Sam jested. “They found the murder weapon in the guy’s lair, Zack’s clothes stained with her blood. Now they’re thinking maybe the surveillance tape was tampered with. Yeah, Becca says Zack will be released soon.” 

You giggled. Dean just rolled his eyes. 

“Get in the car, (Y/N),” he chastised you. For the first time since you met him, you knew he wasn’t trying to tear you down. It was refreshing to have an amicable relationship with him.

As Dean tore down the road, he turned to his brother. “Sorry, man.”

“About what?”

“I really wish things could be different, you know?” the older brother said earnestly. “I wish you could just be… Joe College.”

“No, that’s okay. You know, the truth is, even at Stanford, deep down, I never really fit in,” Sam admitted.

“Well, that’s ‘cause you’re a freak,” Dean quipped.

You loved earnest moments between the two brothers. It made you feel normal; in a weird way.

“Yeah, thanks,” Sam said dryly.

“Well, I’m a freak, too. I’m right there with ya, all the way.”

“Yeah, I know you are.” Sam’s voice softened.

“You know, I gotta say. I’m sorry I’m gonna miss it.” 

You felt one of Dean’s stupid jokes coming on. “Oh, here we go.”

He eyed you in the rearview mirror. 

“Miss what?” Sam asked.

“How many chances am I gonna have to see my own funeral?” Dean smirked.

You shook your head. “And there it is.”

Series Rewrite Taglist: @polireader @brightlilith @atcamillanorrman @jrizzelle @insomnia-bookworm @procrastination20 @mrs-liebgott @djs8891 @tiggytaylor @staple-your-mouth @iloveshawn @jesstherebel @rach5ive @strawberrykiwisdogog @bruhidkjustwannaread @mxltifxnd0m @sunshine-on-marz @big-ol-boat @mgchaser @capncrankle

[freyito]

ᴛʀɪᴄᴋ ᴏʀ ᴛʀᴇᴀᴛ! ⨟ ɪᴅɪᴀ ꜱʜʀᴏᴜᴅ

✭ pairing(s): idia shroud x gn reader

✩ in which: he celebrates halloween with you.

✧ a/n: i got attached to this Guy overnight and i need to take a bite out of him. Anyways!

✦ taglist: @shinysora

→ trick or treat masterlist

🗒 cw: gn reader, just fluff :P, maybe a little ooc? (havent read ignihyde's chapter yet ((so many idia vignettes tho)), not proofread

✎ wc: 677

Trick

Well, for one, Idia is absolutely, positively, against any party whatsoever. He’s not here for the hype week, he’s in it for the candy and showing off his cosplay skills. As such, unless you are in his room at all times, he kind of sucks at communication during Halloween Season. Which means unless you want some alone time (or he kicks you out), you’re bunking with him quite a bit. No matter how much he protests.

You might get dragged into his games, especially with their Halloween events. If even one of them has a co-op or invitation event, you’re pushed into making a new account or joining him. And you must, at least, run dungeons with him 10 times a day. He has to stay at the top of rankings somehow! And you’re his key to that, one that he’s not necessarily willing to give up, either.

He also tends to buy extra candy. What, to give away? No! He’s hoarding this stuff like a dragon and it’s pile of gold. Sure, he’ll give you some, but if he has to play nice, he’s doubling his pay. In gummy worms. Oh, and he gatekeeps any gummies from other people. Not you, of course, you can take as much as you want (as long as you leave him some of the blue raspberry or cherry flavored ones). But, this leads to an excess of candy bags just… chilling in his room now. Not that he tosses them wherever he wants, he has a carefully crafted system, you know. But sometimes there is something known as too much candy.

Treat

Despite all of that, isn’t Idia the best person to hang out with during Halloween? With all his dedication to his costume, it comes out genuinely wonderful. He spent most of his time working on the finer details, one of the truest adaptations of… which character was it again? You’ve heard so much of this character that it feels like your brain has fizzled out. Regardless, his costume is still amazing, you’re a little jealous. And you’re sure you’ll hear much more about the character, and you’ll be subjected to watching the show regardless. Not that you mind.

You are in for a nice and cozy night, however. After the parade is done and Idia’s social battery is thoroughly drained, all he wants to do is either sleep (which he can’t because he’s gorged himself on candy), or finish up the events on his games to make sure he stays at the top of the rankings. Once he’s finally free of his costume (after about an hour…), he takes a couple of minutes in your arms, laying on top of you like a massive pillow, while he mutters something about his costume and what not. After about half an hour, he’s up and at ‘em, back at his game. Perhaps he’s realized how he’s neglected you over the month, and so he does his best to include you in his gametime, whether you choose to play with him, or simply sit on his bed and listen to what he has to say.

Before the sugar wears off, Idia is suddenly cramming in a last minute grind session, hopping from server to server to kill the event’s boss as the minutes tick down. Even as he’s fighting sleep, he’s kicking monster ass and topping the rankings. You can feel yourself slipping into sleep until he jolts you awake with a loud “YEEESSS!”. Almost immediately after that leaves his mouth, he’s apologizing profusely to you in a soft voice, completely forgetting about his game and slinking over with his hands out like he was calming down a scared horse.

With his win secured, he slips into bed easily. Which is earlier then he usually falls asleep, about a couple more hours before. But he’s won top ranking player during almost every event for three years in a row, and perhaps it’s time to celebrate (by sleeping early– and sleeping in even later), and also apologize for waking you up so abruptly.

© freyito, 2024 | masterlist | queue | kofi | discord server | star header by roseschoices DO NOT REPOST AS YOUR OWN, REPOST ON ANY OTHER PLATFORM, OR USE FOR AI/AI CHATBOTS.

[seat-safety-switch]

Murphy's Law is the only true ruler of the universe. Whenever things seem like they're going right, that bastard will put a hole in your plans. Everything that can go wrong will go wrong – because he is fucking doing it to you.

We all have stories of the great weeks that ended in complete karmic reversal. Everything's flying high. Couldn't be better. Stayed in it a little bit too long on that last pass and the engine just went bye-bye. If only I had turned in one lap earlier. No. Murphy would have gotten you on the drive home. He knows.

So, how do you fight this otherworldly, impossible-to-defeat force? One way is to start your week in a really bad way. Make sure that things already go wrong. Use shonky-ass old battery cables from the bottom of the ocean, pulled from that submarine that crushed those billionaires into Ragu. Insult a voodoo priestess before you hop in your car. Hell, walk under a couple ladders and cross a black cat's path. Murphy can't do anything to you if you do it to yourself first.

Then, when he's not looking, your moment of triumph. Having recalibrated your threshold for "success" to something more like "a less miserable failure than usual," basically any small achievement will feel like a miracle. Opening the fridge and finding out it has non-mouldy cheese. The bakery didn't run out of croissants! Your neighbour rolled his Jeep and ejected a pretty nice axle directly into your driveway, just where it is convenient to roll underneath your stricken F-150. It's all relative, and our dumb primate bodies can't tell the difference between actual success and luck.

Of course, the universe can't be fooled forever. Emotional relativism is hard to enjoy when your car still doesn't start in the morning. That's where Hoarder's Law comes in, which is the second most powerful force in all creation. Simply buy a lot more cars, roll the dice a few more times. One of 'em has gotta start, even if it's only so they can carry you to a massive accident later.

[sky-snz]

(a blackout and a singular scented candle - a dialogue.)

“What do you mean you don’t keep candles?”

“Why would I have any use for candles? I have lamps and a flashlight.”

“And zero batteries.”

“I gave my last batteries to my cousin’s Elmo and then I was supposed to buy more, but… the holidays hit and I got too busy.”

“So it’s phone lights then? Wow. It’s just like a concert.”

“Haaaang on. I found one.”

“Oh. … . What the hell is ‘leather and brandy’?”

“Pass me your zippo.”

“No.”

“Fine, sit in the dark.”

*click.* …… *click.* “What’s ‘leather and brandy’?”

“It was a gift from- my ex, now just pass the lighter.”

“Oh, sexy.”

“Shut up.”

“The smell is strong already.”

“I know that.”

*click.* …. *click.*

….

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to make fun of your candle.”

“…. *snfff* Nah, it’s alright. It’s cheesy. *snrf!*”

“It’s - charming, the scent.”

“Really? It’s actually kind of- AAERRSCHH!!-hieww -Excuse me. *snff!* Pungent to me.”

“Oh. Bless you. …Is that why you never lit it?”

“Uhh, yeah, sorta… *snrf!*”

“We can put it out if it’s bothering you.”

“Nah, it’s okay. *ahem!* Might as well let it fulfil its purpose. *snrff!*”

“Okay. Just make sure you don’t-“

“AESSCHHh-! *snrk!*”

“Bless you. Oh, there goes the flame...”

“Stop laughi’g, *sngrk!* Oh, actually? Wow.”

“I’m not laughing. Oh lord… God, I’m sorry, that’s, like it’s sweet, but so-“

“Brutal od the siduses. I kdow. “

“It’s like, weirdly floral.”

“Pass be’hh, *hsdrff!* Pass be your lighter.”

“I’ll do it. You go grab some tissues, or- do you want me to grab them?”

“HAASSCHIUHh!! *sdrff!* Yeah, sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. Here.”

“Thagk you. *snrff!* Go, do it, I’ll be fide… *snrk!*”

“You want- you want me to light it again?”

“Go ahead. You need it to see what you’re reading, and I- hHeht’CHIEWW!! Ugh, *snrk!*”

“Bless you!”

“Thagk you. I’ll just ha’g back a’d try dot to be… too… hh-! haAAESSCHHhh-!!”

“Bless you. No. That’s back to the drawing board, no ridiculous-“

“-‘AASSCHIEWWw!!”

“-Jesus, bless you. No more ridiculous scented candle of death…”

“*hsnrff!* Wait…”

“Why do you still have this?”

“I dod’t know…”

….

“There, it’s… on the doorstep.”

“What? *hsnrk!* People will thidk that sobeode died.”

“From ‘leather and bra-“

“Shut up…”

…

“Let ‘em. Maybe then they’ll order a bunch of unscented candles, and you’ll be stocked for emergencies.”

“Your emergencies, I’m more of iht’CHIEWW!! *hsnrg!* mbore of a… screed debod.”

“A ‘scremon’?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll just use my phone light. Sing me something, maybe we can have our own concert.”

[vamossainz55]

always - carlos sainz jr

summary (5.5k words): inspired by always by daniel caesar and requested by one of my favorite people @scuderiasundays. or the one where you and carlos find your way back to each other. warnings: mentions and hints of s*x (no explicit writing), hints towards cheating. a lot of longing, tension, and a disgusting amount of use of the word always. sorry it had to be done.

“feliz año nuevo!” 

carlos smiles when his mother comes close, stamping a kiss to his cheek. he wraps his arm around her, hugging her close as the sound of fireworks erupt through the city. 

he can hear the cheers from the other houses and the sound of the tv still playing. la puerta de sol is on the screen, a new number he needs to remember for the year splashed on top of it with a nicely written font. 

“terminaste todas las uvas?” did you finish all of your grapes? reyes asks, ruffling her son’s hair fondly. carlos scrunches his face slightly but leans into her touch anyways. only two people in the world were allowed to touch his hair, his mother’s just lucky she’s one of them. 

“si las terminé,” as he moves to pull his phone can feel the slight rumble in his stomach as proof, along with the ache of his jaw from chewing so quickly. 

“y pediste un deseo?” carlos blinks, mind flashing to mere seconds ago after he had chewed down the twelve grapes. he smiles. 

“claro mamá” he says before his attention is taken up by his father, who pulls him into a hug. hugging his father turns into hugging blanca, and hugging blanca turns into hugging caco, and that turns into hugging the rest of the group. 

soon hugs turned into cheering with champagne. then shotting tequila. and then one or two bottles of beer.

in between all the drinks and laughs his mind frequently goes back to the wish he had made as the clock rang 12. 

he really wonders if his wish would come true, the reminder prompting him to take out his phone. 

it’s only when he’s looking at the lit up screen that he feels it. the quick movement of his eyes but the slow motion of his vision. the alcohol was surely taking effect and he was definitely starting to feel the consequences.

he unlocks his phone anyways, goes to open whatsapp with one name in his mind. as he clicks on the logo he sees the notification come in. your name sits nicely at the top of the list of conversations. 

‘happy new years! i know this will be your year, go get em x’ 

he smiles, and against his better judgement types in ‘what if its our year?’ it’s cheesy, but in the moment it seems great to him. his thumb hovers over the send button as he tries his best not to think too much about it. 

is this too much? he hesitates pressing send, thinking. god. i can still taste the tequila in my mouth. his lips purse and he smacks his lips against each other. why is my mouth so dry? i should go get water. he gives his train of thoughts an approval, nodding to himself before pocketing his phone. 

don’t get distracted carlos. he tries his best to make it to the kitchen, but his resolve breaks when another shot glass is being handed to him. he smells it. vodka hm, at least it isnt tequila. he thinks before downing the contents of the glass. 

he figures water can wait for later.

its later that night (or maybe he should say morning?) that he climbs up the stairs, more blurry eyed than before with a bottle of water in his hand. he almost misses a few steps, letting out a winded breath when he reaches the top. he finds piñon laying by the railing, head tucked on his legs.

his eyes look up at carlos, clearly having expected him to come sooner. “sorry piñon, tenemos que festejar un poco no?” we need to party a little bit no? carlos asks, crouching down to pet the top of his head.

he watches the way piñon leans into his touch, puppy dog eyes as big as ever and in that moment he remembers his wish. “no te muevas, que estas muy mono,” don’t move, you look adorable he says before fishing his phone out of his pocket. 

the battery widget flashes red, a notification announcing he has less than 10% left making an appearance. he dismisses it quickly, swiping to open up his camera app instead. 

click. 

he smiles at the photo on his screen. he can barely hold himself up though so he gets up on his feet, legs wobbling a bit in the process. he pockets his phone again, he figures he can send the photo later, his bed already calling out his name. he stumbles into it face first, bottle still in his hand. 

he dreams of his wish and the text he’ll receive when he wakes up. 

but when he opens his phone the next morning to realise his text is still half written without being sent, he’s too embarrassed to even look at it. he deletes the whole text, and doesn’t send you anything altogether. 

it’s a quiet day, different to the bustling life he’s used to. it’s something he barely imagined himself appreciating, a contrast to what he used to crave: busy schedules, back to back flights, speeding through tracks, or even streets, the thrill of it all.

madrid always helped him wind down, allow his two feet to settle back on the ground. it’s a nice reminder that there’s a life outside of it all: outside of hotels, outside of planes, outside of cars. 

which is why, neatly packed between meetings, trainings, catch-ups with friends, he always slots in quiet morning walks in the city. 

he soaks it all in, eyes tracing every window, every door, every crack in each tile he steps on. he’s in the city he calls home, where nothing really changes, but where nothing really stays the same. 

small droplets of rain pellet on his skin as he walks, going past the all too familiar park he practically grew up in. the see-saw looks the same, along with the black handles he used to grip whenever his friends would get off from the other side without warning.

he smiles at the memory. his own high pitched voice rings in his ears, letting out expletives that kids his age would more than get in trouble for. 

it’s the next step he takes that brings him back to reality. an unhinged tile that’s peaking unexpectedly high. 

he trips, shoulders raising slightly as he catches himself with his other foot. distracted, he doesn’t notice the person in front of him, not until he lets out a small but embarrassed breath of relief whilst looking up. 

“carlos?” his name rolling off your tongue sends goosebumps to his skin and his eyes grow slightly. “i didn’t know you were going to be home,” you come closer this time, hand going over his shoulder to grab behind his neck. your touch sends a shiver down his back. 

despite the buffer of his brain he moves naturally around you, body responding faster than his thoughts. his hands go to your waist just as your cheeks touch. right cheek first, left cheek second. he takes the moment to take it all in. he feels your fingertips at the nape of his neck, your hair gently brushing over his shoulder your perfume still smells the same, the flowery and sweet aroma invading his senses. 

he realises he misses it. 

he realises he misses you. 

“yeah, I just landed yesterday.” his thoughts are slowly prickling in again, and he remembers where he is, what he’s doing. “and you know me,” 

you smile, because you do. “always squeezing a walk in?” 

he nods, eyes going over you. you don’t have much on you, your phone in one hand and your bag slung over your shoulder.

“always,” he answers. 

there’s a moment of silence as you scan over him this time. you notice he doesn’t have anything on him either, just a phone peeking out of his pocket.

“are you-” you start.

“where-“ he laughs when he realises he interrupted you, sheepishly scratching the back of his head. 

“you go,“ its said simultaneously between the two of you, and this time you’re both laughing, rosy cheeked and crinkly eyed. 

“okay,” he raises his hand so you can’t cut him off this time. “ladies first,” his tongue is resting gently between his teeth as he patiently waits for you to go ahead. 

“i was asking if you are going anywhere,” he shakes his head to answer. there’s a second question on the tip of your tongue, but you go for a third one instead. “what were you going to ask?”

“where you are going,” he doesn’t say it like a question, because in that little moment he knows you’re both on the same page. “but, i’m changing it to- if you want to grab coffee with me?”

one black coffee and one latte macchiato sit between you both. the smell of ground coffee floats in the air, mixed with the smell of freshly baked bread. 

it’s like the place misses you more than you miss it, the walls feel closer, warmer, asking you both to stay as long as possible. in reality though, you both don’t know how long this encounter would last. 

even maria, the older lady that owned the cafe, had welcomed you both with wide smiles and open arms, sneaking past the counter to hug you both. she still remembered your order by heart, shooing you both to sit down before any of you even ordered anything. 

it’s been a while since you’ve both sat together like this, scooted into the small table of the cafe, tucked into your corner. the table is as small as ever, and peaking right from under carlos’ drink you spot the little doodle on the wooden table from years ago. carlos spots it too. 

you remember the panicked voice carlos had that day. you had been coming back from the restroom just to find him leaning over the table with a far from innocent look. “i messed up,” he had whispered. at first he didn’t want to show you, and his dramatization of it all made you expect the worst. 

you were only met with a slight chip on the table, barely noticeable to the naked eye (or to whoever wasn’t looking for it). despite carlos’ demeanor you only laughed, grabbing a marker from your bag. you had made sure maria wasn’t looking before covering it in black. 

“it isn’t enough,” carlos murmurs, hunching over again to grab the pen to add more ink. 

you remember the gentle sound of the marker going back and forth. you give him a second, and then two, and then three, and by the fourth you nudge his foot. “carlos, i think we’re good.” but of course he shakes his head, an argument about needing the colors to blend. “it’s a marker on wood carlos, it isn’t going to blend,” but alas he doesn’t stop, not for a bit at least. 

you go for your phone, sighing softly with a shake of your head. you take a photo of him, writing the caption ‘this is literally your son right now’ and sending it to reyes when you notice the silence coming from the other side of the table. 

you glance back at carlos, finding him silently staring at the blob of black he had created. you can tell the moment he realises what he’s done, “... it’s way worse now isn’t it?” he asks, almost comically. 

“you’re really something else,” you bite your bottom lip, rolling your eyes as you hold back a laugh. “give,” you say, thanking him when he hands over the marker to you. “now go own up to maria, and i’ll at least try and make it cute.” 

he murmurs a sorry, cheeks going red as he lets you fix the problem he somehow made worse. he thanks you with several pecks though, whispering “you’re the best” into your ear. 

you end up covering the blob with a heart, and maria finds the whole thing too endearing to even get mad (she had apparently spotted carlos panicking even before you had come back from the restroom). 

you’d never admit it out loud, but you were grateful that a memory of you both was sealed somewhere. 

as always, your thumb taps at the glass of your coffee cup. you’re quiet, eyes scanning over the foam that’s collected at the top of your drink now. carlos watches you, the way you bring your cup to your lips before taking a sip of coffee. your tongue peaks out for a split second after to swipe at the cloudy texture left behind on your lips and he has to deny the urge to reach out with his thumb to wipe it away for you instead.

“thought you didn’t go anywhere without your red ferrari shirt,” you joke, the warmth of the drink calming your words. carlos only laughs, mirroring your actions to take a sip of his own cup. he places the cup next to the doodle this time, letting his hand rest on the table. his fingers tap over the fading ink, gently tracing the shape. 

“so you’re keeping up with my life hm?” carlos teases before sitting back into his chair, hands back at cupping his mug. 

“of course i do,” you answer, gently knocking your foot against his. he smiles at the revelation, as if you didn’t still like his photos, or left one-off replies to his stories. infact, you had wished him new years first. despite both of you deciding it was better to part ways, you both continued to put your best efforts in somehow remaining connected. 

carlos still wished you happy birthday every year, sent you a photo of piñon whenever he went home, and dropped a comment whenever he was on his instagram (he was glad you had your account on private). 

it’s not the same as it used to be though. you’re not really there, but it's enough for now.

“you never texted me back.” carlos looks at you, raising his brow slightly to feign confusion. he knows what you mean though because unfortunately, alcohol induced memory loss only existed prior to going to sleep. 

“i… forgot,” he lies, frowning small to himself because it's a bad excuse, a bit mean even. 

“mhm,” you give him a proper look before sighing. it was clear that you were frustrated, frustrated that you cared so much about it. 

“you know i didn’t mean to,” carlos murmurs, and it isn’t an apology. as much as he wanted to, he knew he didn't owe you one, and frankly, even though you wanted one you’d never accept it. 

“i know,” you murmur before taking a deep breath. carlos fights the urge to hold your hands, to tell you that it's fine. so instead, he pulls out his phone. 

“i do have a photo for you though, albeit a bit late” he says, unlocking his screen to open his gallery. you perk up at the mention of a picture and you sit up a bit, this time scooting closer. 

your knees touch just as carlos turns his phone to show you his screen. 

“he’s so cute,” you coo at the sight of piñon staring at you through the phone. slowly reaching to move the phone closer, your fingers go over his and carlos expects you to take his phone, but instead you let your touch linger. 

there’s a moment of silence before your eyes shift from the phone to carlos. there’s so much you want to say, but you know it isn’t fair to any of you. 

“i miss him,” carlos looks at you. the words feel heavier than they should. they hold more meaning and you both know it. he puts his hand down, fingers tracing over the doodle once more. 

“i know, he misses you too.” 

some nights carlos stays up late, staring at the ceiling of whatever room he’s staying in for the night. he likes to draw images on the ceiling, imagine something he can’t have but ultimately wants.

he sometimes imagines crossing the finish line first, lifting the trophy, sitting on the top step of the podium. not only once but multiple times. sometimes he imagines lifting the wdc trophy, imagines his name carved into the list of legends in the sport. 

as much as he loves the sport, it’s exhausting most times. both physically and mentally. the traveling, although fun, taxes him mentally. 

the changing hotel rooms, living out of a suitcase almost every other week gets old pretty quickly when you’ve been doing it for years. friends and family are good company, but sometimes he craves more. a constant, a person to call his. 

so inbetween images of the top step of the podium, glimpses of you always seem to appear through his mind.

he let his ritual slip once when talking to lando. lando calls it manifesting, something he’d caught when scrolling through tiktok. and carlos isn’t one to believe in the energy of the universe, but for this he’ll make an exception. some things are meant to be wished for. 

and honestly carlos needs to thank lando, even give him a gift, because tonight is one of those nights, and one thing he didn’t expect is to be behind the wheel of his car after being tucked in bed almost two hours prior. 

the moment your name flashed across the screen he was already up on his feet.

so he parks in your driveway, just to see you sitting on the stairs of your doorstep. he takes off his seatbelt, lets the engine run for a second as he tries not to think about it too much. 

you only look up when he opens the car door, slowly getting up as he comes closer to you. that’s when he notices it, your wet cheeks and swollen eyes. “hey,” you murmur, voice shaky. he doesn’t say anything, just wraps his arms around you before pulling you close to his chest. 

and this is exactly why you both didn’t see eachother often. why distance was best for you both. because here he is, on your doorstep with your face tucked into his chest. 

he knows why you called, knows showing up isn’t making it easier for any of you, but he’s selfish, and you are too. it might not be the first time you’ve called, but every time it happens carlos is scared it’ll be the last.

it feels like a ritual, carlos climbing into your bed in his boxers and a shirt you had chucked at him from his previous late night visit. no matter how long ago you always kept it with you. 

the room is cold, your insistence of not turning on the heater during winter still prominent after all these years. he never minds though, not when your body presses against his under the sheets, not when his arms wrap around you to pull you close.

his lips press against your forehead, soft and careful. he feels you let out a small breath, feels the tip of your nose poking at the center of his chest. he moves to look down at you to find your eyes already on him. “you feel better?” he asks, carefully tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. he lets his fingers graze over your cheek, thumb slowly going under your chin. 

“i do, thank you for coming,” you murmur, eyes dropping to his lips. you both know you shouldn’t. 

you continue to lay in eachother’s company, letting the familiarity sink in. it’s the perfect moment to forget about it all, about why moments like these were worth the distance and the stress. it’s the perfect moment to think about the what if’s.

and the nights always start like this, with strong composure and innocent touches. but every single time the night fails to end how it starts.

your breath feels warm against his neck and his grip is strong on your waist. your lips always manage to press closer and his hands always manage to go lower. 

“carlos,” you murmur. it’s always soft and always so needy. 

and carlos should know better, does know better, but his hands are slipping under your shirt, and your fingers are already dipping into the waistband of his boxers.  

his teeth graze against the sweet spot on your neck and the sounds you let out spur him on further. 

he wants this moment with you.  

you always awaken to an empty bed after, with no evidence of his presence apart from the marks on your skin. it never upsets you to wake up by yourself, as it was an easy way for you to run away from the reality of the previous night.

sometimes though you like to imagine what it would be like if he stayed one of the mornings.  whether you both would finally talk about everything, instead of tip-toeing around it all, but you never do. 

at the ene of the day the risk always seemed to outweigh the rewards. 

despite waking up with a certain sense of satisfaction, the feeling was always mixed with guilt, and often times regret. not for the choices made during the night but regret for letting things end in the first place. 

the risk of not being on the same page was definitely not worth the conversation. you were just as selfish as carlos. if turning your head towards another direction was all you needed to do then that is exactly what you’d choose. 

so life peruses normally, the seasons continue to change. the snow from winter melts as the spring flowers take their time to flourish. but every night when you close your eyes it’s like there’s something missing.

you never seem to shake it off, the only option is to dull it out, seeking comfort in others that don’t just quite make you feel the same way. carlos is no better though. 

you see the headlines on ‘hola’ magazine. the photos of carlos going home with a pretty brunette or blonde not far ahead. the girls change every other week and you can’t even bother to keep up, especially not when you have your own little distraction. 

this time it’s javi. a friend of a friend who funnily enough works in motorsport too. unlike carlos, he isn’t a driver, mainly arranging the different events that go through spain. 

you try to not mention carlos at all, especially when the formula 1 spanish gp gets brought up to the table one month into seeing each other. you just hoped your friend knew better, but unfortunately she doesn’t and you’re the only one to blame for it. 

“her ex is a ferrari driver now!” it’s innocent, your friend blissfully unaware of the way you tensed at the mention of carlos. in everyone else’s eyes you were both fine, some would even say great, the picture perfect image of healthy exes. 

“oh?” he asks. he senses the tension growing in your demeanor, the way you shift in your seat. your friend notices the questioning look he gives you. 

she laughs, genuine, and innocent. “it’s not like that, they’re on good terms. no funny business anywhere.” and it sounds so true that you almost believe it yourself.

the topic washes over the conversation, but your mind stays right there.

her words ring in your head. on good terms. no more funny business. you’d be lying if you said you no longer remember the way carlos’ lips traced your skin, or the way his hand wrapped around your neck. 

“so you’d be down to come with me to barcelona?” you snap out of your thoughts at the question, gaze coming up from the table. 

“sure, it’d be nice.” you answer, not finding the courage to even make an excuse. your fingers fiddle with the hem of your shirt during this. should you give carlos a heads up? 

you smile when you get a peck at your lips, nodding when being asked if you were excited. “very,” you say, wondering at the same time when you had gotten so good at lying when it came to carlos. 

the sun is shining brightly over the city, no cloud in sight. you can’t complain about the heat though, not when you’re tucked inside the paddock’s hospitality area. your paddock pass hangs around your neck, special guest written in small fine print along with your name. 

you’re by yourself at your table, fingers fiddling with your phone’s strap as you wait for javi to get back to you. he had left over an hour ago for a catch up with the board of the track, and although you didn’t mind spending some time by yourself, the wait is becoming longer than you had initially expected. 

you’re not short on entertainment, deciding to walk to the balcony as the sound of the engines reverberate through the building. 

you watch the flurry of f2 cars pass, each car being pushed to its limit as the drivers attempt to qualify with the best lap possible. the crowd cheers as they watch a new name place itself in p1.

your mind wanders as you watch, thinking about the red badge you had tucked away in one of the zippers of your purse.

you had received it in your mailbox a week after telling carlos you were going to be at the race.  

he knew you were coming with javi, the only catch though was that you only received one pass. 

you entertain the idea, a quick drop-by wouldn’t hurt any of you. it’s carlos’ home race and it felt wrong to not wish him good luck. 

so when javi’s apology appears on your phone saying it would take him a few hours, you find yourself turning away from the track and slipping the tag off your neck as you make your way out. 

you shoot out a text, dropping by to say hi. 

you get your answer before you even get to ferrari’s building, the red pass now hanging around your neck instead and you find carlos standing idle by the entrance. 

the moment he spots you he eyes you over, gaze following down the black and red lanyard to see your tag. as childish as it is he finds himself smirking, well aware of who’s name you were carrying around with the badge. 

you’re let in easily, carlos pressing the button to open the doors from the inside. he gives you a hug, finding comfort in the way you tucked your chin over his shoulder. 

your badge is between his fingers when you pull away. he flips the badge over, reads over the text before letting it go. he does nothing more of it, simply asking you how you were before taking you upstairs to his room in search of more privacy.

the room is bright red, a contrast to the white walls you were used to during his time at toro rosso. you make no issue of making yourself comfortable though, sitting on one of the chairs that’s pressed against his table. 

“the whole country is rooting for you,” it’s merely an observation of your time so far, countless of 55 merch dispersed all around the crowd. “you nervous?” it’s supposed to be teasing, but carlos knows you enough to notice the place of concern in your question. 

“a bit, shitting myself actually.” the confession comes out more serious than not and he simply tries to brush it off with a laugh. “but hey- can’t be worse than last year hm?” the joke falls flat between you both and there’s a silence that is almost suffocating. despite carlos’ good nature and strong spirit, you knew him well enough to know he was still letting past performances follow him.

the seconds feel like hours before you speak up, trying to determine what is best for you to say. you know carlos was one of the last people to want something sugar coated for him. “last year was.. something. but if anything- from what i saw today the crowd believes in you.” 

carlos lets out a lighthearted laugh, and you know what he thinks of your answer. “don’t just say that to make me feel better.” 

his eyes bore into you as you say the next words, and you let your eyes meet then. “you know, i say that because i believe in you too.” 

throughout all the years you’ve known him, one thing never failed to be true: you had always believed him from the beginning, and at the end of the day you’d always be rooting for him. 

“thought i’d get to meet your boyfriend today,” carlos says, resting on the edge of his table as he crosses his arms across his chest. you can’t tell if the remark is meant to be a jab, or whether it was something carlos wanted to do. “it’s serious?” 

he doesn’t look jealous, simply leaning his head to the side as he waits for you to answer. you could lie, say that it was serious and you wanted it to go somewhere, but you’d both know you wouldn’t be telling the truth. 

the choice you end up with is to not answer altogether, letting out a sigh instead. that’s all that carlos needs to know so he nods, taps his fingers over his arm. “how much time do you have?”

you watch him walk over to the door, and you pinch the end of your dress as your eyes trace his back. “i think i need company for the nerves.” he explains, “is it okay?” 

it isn’t okay, but javi wouldn’t be back for at least two hours. “i have as much time as you need me,”

you expect carlos to lock the door, for both of you to ignore the elephant in the room and just continue the cycle but the lock never clicks. 

instead he turns back around, a nervous expression on his face. you feel the energy of the room shift, and you watch carlos come closer. “actually… is it okay if we just talk?” he doesn’t mean just talking, the fiddling of his fingers giving it away. 

“about?” 

“you know about what,” carlos murmurs, “i just- i need to know where we’re both at. well, where you’re at.” 

you chew your bottom lip, take a deep breath as you tuck your hands under you. “but, what if,” you’re unsure on what to say next. what if you’re not on the same page? what if you realise it’s best to end things? “what if things change?” 

carlos smiles small, shakes his head before he speaks. “i’ll always be here, you know that right? even if we’re not on the same page right now.“

“i know.” you murmur as he sits down next to you.

it’s later that night that you break it off with javi with an apology and carlos’ hotel room card in your back pocket. 

you stay the night, the morning, and the night after that. 

“feliz año nuevo!”

carlos smiles when his mother comes close, stamping a kiss to his cheek. he wraps his arm around her, hugging her close as the sound of fireworks slowly dwindle down. 

the cheers have already died down, and the tv is on silent, music playing through the stereo instead. 

“terminaste todas las uvas?” did you finish all of your grapes? reyes asks, gently reaching over to fix carlos’ hair. carlos rolls his eyes playfully, they weren’t even ten minutes into new years and two people had already touched his hair.

“no, no las terminé,” he looks away from reyes, unable to stop the smile that was forming on his lips and the warmth he felt spread through his chest. 

reyes smiles, follows carlos’ gaze. she doesn’t need to ask but does so anyways “y no pediste un deseo?” and you didn’t make a wish? carlos shakes his head. 

“el mio ya se cumplió,” mine already came true. 

it takes you a moment to catch carlos staring, and he holds back a laugh when your eyes go wide the moment you realise reyes is there with him. you’re quick to walk over, “reyes, happy new years.” you’re smiling ear to ear, blanca who had stolen you from carlos mere minutes ago trailing behind. 

as soon as you’re done hugging reyes he wraps his arms around you from behind, presses a kiss to your cheek before shifting to peck at your lips. 

“quit snogging. you didn’t even try finishing your grapes before.” blanca comments which gets her a pinch on her side from carlos but he backs off nonetheless as soon as he notices you getting flustered. 

it’s only later that morning, when he stumbles into the bed with you that he finds your lips again. you laugh between kisses, both of you tired and heavy limbed as you sneak under the blankets. 

it’s once you’re both settled that carlos speaks up. “happy new year,” he murmurs against your lips, smiles when you murmur it back before kissing him again. he savors the moment, can still taste the hint of mint from your mouthwash. once you pull away he smiles, looking you in the eyes. he can’t help himself, the words being at the tip of his tongue during the whole evening. “this year’s our year hm?” he finally asks. 

you smile softly and nod, coming closer before answering with a whisper of  promise. “this one and the next.” 

[lockheed-martin-unofficial]

My headcanon is that the average body temperature of cybertronians isn’t necessarily extremely cold or extremely hot. Their spark (+ engine if they have one? I have no idea, entirely different can of worms) and therefore their chests & maybe heads would be very warm, but limbs would get colder very quickly the farther they are from that core. In comparison, a human’s body temp is far more uniformly distributed.

I imagine they usually recycle at least some of their excess body heat into energy similar to the way some cars charge their batteries while braking, but when they’re generating too much heat or when they don’t need it (maybe the environment is already hot, they’re doing a lot of activity or they are trying to recharge) they’ll just vent it out using cooling fans. Depending on the season, this might be great for a human trying to sleep beside them or really annoying.

I would guess that heat bothers them more than cold (Starscream being an outlier, he probably just likes to complain since planes are SUPPOSED to be in very cold temperatures always) since they can walk around in space just fine, so I imagine em just going “yknow what. Fuck it.” And maxing out their cooling fans while they try to recharge. Or whenever it’s remotely warm. It is very loud.

I don’t know enough about cars to say this confidently but you know how in some small cars maxing out the air conditioning will cause a noticeable power reduction? That probably wouldn’t happen as much with an alien robot, but imagine a relatively smaller and younger cybertronian able to either move around or cool down, never both at the same time. It’d be funny methinks. Everybody else laughs at them.

Makes me wonder how their relationship with water would be. I doubt cybertronians would rust easily, so it’d be funny to go for a walk by the lake one morning and see a bunch of cars just standing halfway in the water with steam evaporating from them. Robots In Disguise™️ trying to cool down. I’m gonna draw a comic about that eventually.

Team Prime deserves an industrial grade pressure washer. Let Miko wield it. As a treat. She’s fully sane and can be trusted with ice cold pressurised water to blast her robot pals with. Also maybe Jack and Raf occasionally.