#and yet people still try to deny her power and impact

[stillgotscars]

“era” was just named one of the words of the year by collins dictionary because of the unprecedented impact of the eras tour — and they even gave it a new definition: “a period of one’s life or career that is of a distinctive character.” taylor’s impact is insane.

[zengguos]

lottie rambles featuring shauna dynamic talk (made before season 3 episode 6 so my interpretations may change! also I believe the wilderness as a deity is purely psychological created by lottie so I will be talking about it like that).

do you ever think about how lottie was always told in life that all she is, is selfish, dangerous and hurts people? to the point she tried to be helpful and understand people all her life, projecting the way she wished she had that support system, was understood and listened to. she tried to be selfless by taking and sharing others pain with herself (even if it was enabling dangerous ideology like the deconstruction of reality, objectivity and subjectivity post-crash — carrying that on into the adult timeline with the people in her commune).

(she was doing this, having a need to be there, trying to help out way before the wilderness too — being first member to try and comfort allie, having her say in the freezing her out talk & shifting tai's aggression from shauna onto herself during the pit fight. these are core fundamental traits of hers we are introduced to in the pilot, to be involved, righteous and caring).

yet, post-crash, into her adulthood you can understand both sides — the selfishness & the selflessness. that is what lottie's character encapsulates, she is both of many contrasting emotions, thoughts, feelings, descriptions. showing you cannot be one or the other even if they are paradoxical concepts. you can't be black or white going through life, you're bound to always be grey...

the wilderness just broke those insecurities and desires she had internalised about herself free into the forefront, enhanced by her psychosis and fragmented identity/sense of worth leading to the creation of this prophet role. the desire to be someone people can rely on instead of being a liability, someone that can bring people together instead of break them apart, someone to bring some guidance instead of uncertainty, someone that is seen and has to be listened to instead of pushed to the side. to bring love, protection, security, sense and clarity of the madness (things she wanted deep down).

this event transformed the negativity surrounding her schizophrenia as she no longer had those external stressors and pressures. as all throughout her childhood she had been silenced, ignored, shamed and blamed for who she is by the people around her, by her environment. it was drilled into her so much that she also came to hate and deny herself (it even still effects her into adulthood too).

that when her hallucinations were acknowledged and called a "gift" by laura lee — someone who was part of the only place she had ever felt some semblance of security and love in — it had made such a huge impact on lottie's life. taking those words to heart (for many years) as she tried to make it one, a literal gift. however, this would soon be harming as much it was euphoric. as her need for support, love and acceptance for who she is got distorted with the association to faith as she developed the role of the prophet...

it didn't help that her deluded reality with the self created threat (and her denial coping mechanism) of the wilderness soon became shared by the group, that her thoughts and beliefs became based in actuality making it harder to be challenged. the wilderness becoming more of a threat through her as she mystified it, unconsciously controlling its narrative, causing lottie to be a victim and a instigator.

which spirals her into desperation (showcased through her tendency to self harm) and frustration based in anger (as a teenager) in the periods were she could no longer connect to the wilderness and make sense of her situation and her actions through it, or when the rituals are not fulfilled correctly and belief of the wilderness is shaken by others.

this erratic behaviour is further facilitated through the position and power the group has given her. at first she didn't understand, but her impressionable mind twists their perception of her into it making sense in her own reality. especially with the skewed association she has with love, faith and devotion — she sees her "gift" through being their prophet as the bridging connection to get what she deeply wants and she clings onto that (even if it is harmful) by maintaining the need for the wilderness. she wants to keep that feeling of importance with them. not to be forgotten, abandoned and turned on like in her pre-crash life. she wants to fulfil those expectations for others now, unlike she couldn't pre-crash from the people around her, but just like pre-crash they're impossible. yet in the wilderness the impossible seems possible — everything from the old society they knew is deconstructed and reformulated in this brand new civilization here in the woods.

she does want to help and protect them, but in her own way that uses the wilderness as an unconscious external source for that gripe of power and acceptance within the group hierarchy she is still after deep down (although, currently she doesn't explicitly have the leadership role right now like before, she does have majority infulence and the power to change the leader of the group still — which that is interesting to her dynamic within the group and herself — hopefully we will see more of that unspoken imbalance show itself).

however, misty saying that she could possibly angry that the wilderness didn't want her to be the leader anymore and her delayed reaction is a very interesting moment showing her psyche. her slow responses, expression shift and eye movements. she is upset because the wilderness gives her a voice she felt she didn't have, a purpose, importance, to become part of her identity and not having that leaves her insecure and vulnerable again.

lottie has shown she can be selfish, pressuring, aggressive and manipulative here within the guise of selflessness and protection too. especially during this time in early season three by trying to force other characters like travis and akilah into channelling their connections to the wilderness for her own needs which is different to the needs of the others that use her visions/connection with the wilderness. she targets that emotional fragility of others for her own gain as well shown how she pressures akilah into going back into the caves and how she'll use the bonds the others have each other to her advantage (despite their trust in herself). for example akilah's trust in travis, she stopped travis from going in straight away even though he promised that he'd go get her as soon as the rope stopped. we can see how good her observation and intuitive skills are, how they can be a comfort AND a manipulation too depending how people perceive and respond to her words of advice (these traits in particular carries on into her adulthood too).

again, she does genuinely want to help, she does have good intentions at heart, but it's how they are performed and executed which places lottie in a complex dilemma, making us the audience question is this behaviour/action truly for the greater good and benefit of the group as a whole? or is this individualistic ego talking.

then you see that anger she had when she was younger transition into desperation and frustration based in sadness when she is an adult experiencing the wilderness once more.

she has heavily educated herself on this, she's experienced this slip so many times, she know the signs, she know the exhaustion that comes with this on-going battle of self yet... she can't stop it no matter what... it's even more tragic as she falls back into it. being aware, but unaware at the same time.

(I just want to point out how fucking fantastic simone is here in this scene with the bees, showcasing lottie's restraint erratic-ness, but not in an aggressive frantic manner like teenage lottie is seen a lot in with courtney's amazing performance. I really love this scene).

now the mask she had created for herself in her adulthood is broken again as she battles her self identity once more. she sees the antler queen telling that this life she is living in now is self-repression, that this is not her true self, that she was free in the woods. which in a way it is true...

in a state where she was heavily traumatised to the point of mutism when we see her in the rescue scene, she went back to a life where her agency was removed and her voice she found fully ignored, her wilderness identity full crumbled as it was a life once again full of denial, neglect and abuse when she was rescued. her parents put her through shock therapy, heavily medicated and sedated her, sent her away to another country, stripped her from any sort of connections she had with the other survivors, the people who she loved. you can only assume how horrible the reports on her would have been in the media, how she must have been seen, how her story must have ran around, the narrative of her life once again out of her control. it was like it never happened, yet it did, she had all these experiences and was still deemed crazy before and after this event. she was the only one to receive that treatment, that pressure with no support system. she was back with everything she hated. but, she was not that person anymore, she was made in the wilderness. she had more freedom and control in the wilderness setting despite it being horrific and life threatening which says a lot. especially with how it left her when she got rescued.

she had to find a way to get that feeling of self again. being able to sympathise with others expriencing the similar troubles as her as shown in that hospital scene, having them rely on her she falls back into the closet thing to that moment — fully immersing herself in the journey of healing.

but, it's tragically ironic.

she falls back into that pattern she knew that kept her stable, secure and loved even if it is harmful to herself and others that facilitate this balance and power dynamic for her. the association of a cult, centered around things they did out there, still partaking in her self harm habits, overlooking a wilderness, overlooking a lake... she never got over it, she never escaped it, she would and could never deny it the way the others were able to. she kept the cards... she kept the necklace... she kept re-opening those wounds... she kept hold of everything physically and internally for years while everyone tried to move on and construct a disconnected life.

a luxury she could not have.

then a chain of unfortunate events all occur at once where it just seems too good to be true, setting her off again. to have nat come in — after being saved by lottie after a failed attempt — and say she is insane, to say that all she does whenever she tries to help is hurt people.

to literally see it in front of her again with travis dying that she could have stopped it (but it was not fully her fault, if going by her events, that he called her thinking she would have the answers, when the idea of the darkness returning was placed into his paranoid mind while under the infulence, re-triggering lottie too with such a traumatic event).

the guilt of laura lee's death coming back that she could have stopped (she mistook that traumatic stress inducded hallucination as a sign of the darkness and the vision of laura lee being this harmful monster this time may be caused by the after effects of the shock therapy due to its associations).

with everyone else arriving from the past she regresses further and that isn't her fault, but the hunt on shauna she could have stopped that and misty telling her the death of nat is much on her hands too, another thing she could have stopped from happening (yet, they were all equally guilty for falling back into that and allowing it to happen with their collective paranoia).

somehow, she's the only one that is consistently punished for it despite others involvement of these events. and unfortunately this perception the characters have about her being selfish, dangerous and harmful post-crash was constantly reaffirmed within these narratives that she had faux power in, as this falsely sanctified image. when realistically, she was powerless in these events just like everyone else, yet she is still blamed for every part of it, fully... even by herself (her self harm, destruction and guilt coming back).

and we see that's one ways they survived — just as quick as they are to rely on her when good things happen and they need support, they are just as quick to put the blame onto her without thinking how that would still impact her to this day. thinking she's too "crazy" to process it and understand the weight of her actions... which is so wrong. it always stays with her deeply in her mind — "how much do you guys remember."

and how can she not forget.

they (misty voiced it) blamed her for the necessity of all the hunts to begin with too after shauna's beating. all these deaths were technically on her hands despite her having no control over it, never wanting it yet... she comes to accept it.

her defense mechanism being the wilderness... in her mind, in this moment where they hug her, physically hold her and affirm they are glad and happy that she is okay and still alive — I feel it is the moment the hunts soon enters the conception of the wilderness. to make the killings make sense and denounce their whole responsibility over it. protecting them again and allowing them to blame her. it's a selfish and selfless moment. the love she receives contrasting with the horrors committed, she now fully takes on both. she tells herself she needs to do that subconsciously. even as she denounces her leadership, she's already taken a more serious and deeper role within the group.

that's why, years later, she once again takes it into her hands as a felt responsibility to restart the hunts as she attempts to control the situation the only way she knows how, thrown back into that survival mindset, despite not needing to.

it's tragic to see her life fall apart in front of our eyes as she subcomes to the paranoia. we clearly see her battling this dilemma internally over the reality of the situation throughout the episodes until 'it' fully takes over her, transforming from her therapist to the antler queen. indicating she has fully entered a psychosis episode and is the prophet once more. emotionally, she feels the need to enforce a new hunt because only she can do it and only she can supposedly handle the repercussions of it (even though she clearly cannot).

yet, this time the wilderness was the start of her undoing, there were two fates sealed that night.

lottie begins to fully regress. this is the circle that is her life, making her loop back to the start...

this moment, in the kitchen, had so many layers to it — through shauna's anger here, you can tell she saw everyone blurring together.

(god simone's facial expressions in this scene again, her eyes say a thousand words with lottie! I really love her acting).

"it never meant what you thought it meant."

lottie like always tries to challenge shauna's perspective once more, tries to challenge the narrative of many things within shauna's life and get shauna to stop running — this is an attempt to move forward, not back. here I do not believe she was under any deluded infulence.

(even if back then she said callie was powerful in her psychosis episode after she just took a shot to the arm like it was nothing — but maybe I'm wrong with future episodes... but for now this is my thought on the scene).

because in many of lottie's climatic moments with shauna, you can feel the emotion between the two is clear, real and raw. lottie's placement with shauna in these big moments through her perspective is usually trying to ground her and makes her look at everything. she deeply cares for shauna enough to even allow shauna to beat her to a plup in grief to clear her mind and how she defended shauna's grieving actions from tai during the jackie body fight, attempting to give shauna some closure.

however shauna's perspective of lottie is the opposite, changing from needing to be defensive to aggressive with her as shauna further breaks down. we can see that with how she views lottie with her child in her dream, how she outright rejects lottie's mysticism and guidance for something dangerous, obsessing over the potential threat she may cause (despite shauna being a threat herself). lottie gave herself up as a punching bag, as someone for shauna to vent out her frustrations on and shauna has ran with that even since to the point it has clouded her judgment of lottie. it created an antagonistic dynamic in her mind, despite that never being reciprocated.

and because of this dynamic: they bring out each other's fatal flaw — lottie's love & shauna's rage.

so, I believe we exprience this reaction to the necklace in the kitchen through shauna's perspective as she voices her distress.

but, lottie is right, the necklace was never meant to be about death, it was always meant to be a symbol of protection, love and comfort. she tries to get that through to shauna. yet shauna sees it at face vaule, a symbol of death not the one of hope and luck jackie meant it to be. the one of comfort it originally was meant to be when lottie gave it to shauna back when they were about to burn jackie's body.

this moment forces shauna to panic, due to her denial and guilt, over being faced to acknowledge that once again she changed the meaning of something that belongs to jackie, what she left behind for shauna, when she placed it on nat during the first hunt for the worse. the meaning jackie put onto necklace, the meaning lottie gave to the necklace by giving it back to shauna — that's what lottie is telling her to remember, not what it became, but what it was.

also this may be a far assumption, but the "you can feel it too" — the emphasis and tension in that, through shauna's perspective, she chooses to focus on that being about death, making it sound more sinister than it is through the emotional roller coaster she is expriencing right now.

but, really this is about jackie, not the hunts, not the wilderness chosing — it is jackie because this moment of returning the necklace to shauna as adult is calling back to the body scene. it gives a hint that lottie understands the turmoil going on beyond callie's inquiries into the past with what shauna is go through. adding more to the connection between callie and jackie that the story has visually alluding to as well.

lottie has always been quite intuitive when it comes to shauna's emotional wellbeing especially in these situations. coming back to when they were all together drinking when shauna said she would rather not know what she is suppressing and lottie said she'll have to face it eventually as it manifests itself sooner or later in life...

now this scene in the kitchen, it may have been interpreted as a gesture of kindness on lottie's end compared to shauna. this is what jackie may have wanted, this is what might have happened to the necklace in another reality if it kept its original context. a hand me down vs a death sentence. this is just a really scene that shows what yellowjackets is about, the double narrative, the double line of reality, the double perspective. how shauna sees, in her reality, lottie as the main antagonist to her protagonist in the narrative of her life. but, in actuality lottie is one of the most loving presences shauna has ever had in her life.

(hey maybe wearing blue flannel again and kicking someone out is shauna soulmate-ism LMAO. but with lottie's death and the events of episode 5, you can now see shauna is starting to fully face her reality, what lottie wanted and the real truth of the situation. questioning the narrative she's placed on lottie as she starts this journey of uncovering her death — I hope she comes to see that and the tragedy of lottie and their relationship outside of what was just mentioned).

anyways, back to the main point...

lottie is rejected once more by shauna. seeing that her actions have hurt her, someone she loves once again and she is forced to leave before she can even explain herself. the meaning her actions have once again been misinterpreted — vilified by shauna's viewpoint of her. she is abandoned by another loved one. this is the final nail in the coffin with how she has been rejected fully by the only people and place she could call her safespace.

lottie is now fully pushed into that vulnerable insecure state. returning her mentally to her child self, that literally leads her physically back to her first childhood home — where it all started. we saw how her life was forced to move backwards once the wilderness started showing itself to her again. forcing her to face everything about it once more.

how she lost everything she built as an adult.

how she was sent back to the ward.

how she returned to someone part of that only place she ever felt accepted, herself in, loved in, that she cared deeply for and wanted that understanding back.

how she was doing things she did as a teenager again.

how she went back to her first childhood home. a place where she was still being seen as her younger self by her father who has an even more warped sense of reality than herself now.

still apologising repeatedly for her actions that hurt people, to what feels like everyone here and not here, but also — with the visual cut to her young self... it is to herself. with how her life has ended up, with how everything she has ever loved has gone, how she could not protect herself still, everything she tried to do in all of her attempts to rebuild and break free of the cycle of self harm and self destruction she finds herself in... 25 years after such a terrible situation that basically made her, this now is breaking her. she couldn't escape (shown by the location where she ends up dying — she predicted it, she couldn't break the cycle).

that she was not lottie here, she was charlotte.

dying in the place where her life ended, but also where her life began...

alone.

she was left alone from the beginning.

she was still alone until the end.

the moment she was never alone was one of the worst events of her life that was paradoxically probably the best time of her life with the people she loved the most.

she was a victim of her environment, a victim of others and, sadly a victim of herself... she was dangerous, she was hurtful, she was selfless, she was helpful, she was kind, she was manipulative. she was so many things, but there is nuance to it, she transcended the typical description for these words.

she is a tragic character through and through.

[starlightshadowsworld]

Concept:

Now me personally I’m not a fan of the Caitlyn “villian” arc of Season 2 of Arcane.

I would have loved an arc of Caitlyn alone in Piltover and it finally hitting her that she was wrong about Zaun, that she was lied too about Piltover.

Caitlyn starting out as someone who knows exactly who she is, who her family is and what her place in the world is. But as time goes on all of that gets pulled into questioned.

Maybe she becomes a spy on the inside. Fighting tooth and nail against Piltover’s continual attack on Zaun. And yeah it doesn’t stop things from escalating but it slows them down.

This journey of Caitlyn’s is not be an easy one. Unlearning a lifetime of propaganda in a place built upon it so rarely is. It isolates her from her people, from her father when she’s already grieving and alone.

Maybe Caitlyn sometimes wishes she could turn a blind eye to it all. It could be why she ends up with Maddie, because to deny her feelings for Vi denies the impact Vi made on her.

But Caitlyn loves Vi and she can’t do that. She can’t live her life the way it should’ve been because of all the things she can’t unsee.

All the tales from Vi haunt her dreams. And she wouldn’t have it any other way.

I imagine Caitlyn end up allying with Mel because out of everyone Mel understands her position. She’s experienced while Caitlyn craves guidance.

And I feel they’d found common ground in that and well Mel knows it’s like to battle against parental disappointment.

You just know everyone’s bringing up Caitlyn’s mother to try and throw her off. “If your mother could see you now she’d be so disappointed.”

Which undoubtedly hurts to hear so you have Caitlyn having to make peace with that. And learning of the clean air stuff and fighting back that I know deep down she would be.

Even if she may disapprove of my methods.

Also all of this could be why Ambessa takes an interest to her because she expected a fox and yet this girl is more of a wolf. So Caitlyn also has to deal with Ambessa whispering in her ears.

Which Mel is not having at all.

There’s also the fact that there’s no glory in all of this. Piltover folk hate her and no matter what she does Zaun will always see nothing but a spoilt enforcer. No one likes Caitlyn, even those she helps are suspicious of her.

Everyone’s waiting for her to crack and go back to the way she was before. And while overtime that suspicion lessens it will always remain.

And Caitlyn has to learn to be okay with that. To bite her tongue and let the insults slide off her because even though she’s helping them now, even while she hasn’t done a thing.

She’s still part of the system that has. She still goes to bed at night in a mansion never having to fear when her next meal comes.

Her father and her don’t talk these days, he looks at her like he doesn’t even know who she is anymore.

Caitlyn learns to stand on her own two feet. To take responsibility. To not only learn of the truth but to do something with it. To be a voice of opposition in a room full of people rallying against her.

Using her privilege, her name and the power it comes with to help those without that same power.

That’s the path I would’ve loved for Caitlyn to take.

[mangled-by-disuse]

been watching a bunch of youtube videos about snow white (because it is the topic du jour and i need background noise) and this is neither a critique of the video essays nor of the disney remake but like

it really makes me think about how much you lose from the story when you keep making Snow White an older teenager or an adult woman?

like

I realise it is Uncomfortable to have a story where the main conflict revolves around "this twelve year old is super hot", but also: idk about you but for me that's what's so impactful about the fairytale and to a lesser degree the 1937 film

it is ultimately a story about the very specific but unfortunately near-universal experience of the world deciding for you that you have changed from "child" to "woman" and proceeding to treat you as a fully adult agent while simultaneously denying you all agency and power

like. snow white is a child. this is incredibly obvious in the framing. she is hitting puberty and that is when the mirror is like "hey she's a Woman now". and that is a process that is finished when A Prince Occurs, and that sucks as a message, but there's so much about snow white as a story that is still so fucking resonant to my experience of growing up, and I imagine to the experience of most people raised as girls.

like, imagine you're nine or ten, right, and your dad remarries and then he dies. it is traumatic and sad and you are scared and alone. you look around and you see the changes happening in your home, and you make the very sensible decision: okay, all right, I need to keep my head down and make myself useful, and then nobody will have a reason to send me away.

and it works! because your stepmother is vain and self-centred, and she only cares about her looks and what makes her seem more beautiful. you are at most an accessory she can dress up and trot out when she wants to, but the vast majority of the time, she ignores you. you are annoying to her. you are neither an asset nor a threat. why would she care?

(you continue to make yourself useful, but to try and keep out of her way, because, well. a lot of your friends aren't around the palace any more. you try to get the approval of the people who will give you attention. you hang around with the cooks and the servants and the animals in the courtyard. you don't care about class differences. you are a neglected preteen)

and then

suddenly

you are twelve or thirteen. your body is doing strange things. people begin to look at you differently. people have always said you are beautiful, but now it comes more often and it seems... different somehow. men say things you no longer understand. women whisper. you are growing up, and you know that, but you don't understand that, not yet.

and out of the blue, your stepmother comes to find you, to invite you to go on a trip. you think: she's noticed! she's noticed that i'm growing up, that i'm responsible and dutiful and kind and obedient, and now that i'm not a child any more, maybe i'm no longer an annoyance. maybe if i'm really good, she'll understand that i just want to help!

(and she has. she has noticed you are growing up. she's noticed that you made the indefinable change from "girl" to "woman", and now in her eyes there is nothing of the child to you. you are a woman. you are beautiful. you are a rival. and women... women know what they're doing. you aren't innocent, you're coy. you aren't naive, you're coquettish. you aren't humble, you're manipulative. you are an enemy. you are her enemy.)

so she demands your heart. and yet, when the huntsman takes you out to the woods and draws his knife - listen, huntsmen have children too. he looks at you and he sees that you aren't a woman at all, that you're not even a doe but a fawn, and he thinks about his own children under the knife, and he isn't a monster, so he lets you go.

you are thirteen or so. you are wandering in the forest. you have no mother and no father and no guide. you are terrified, with good reason.

you see a cottage in the clearing. you think: i shouldn't, but i have to. you don't understand entitlement, you don't fully grasp how unreasonable it is to help yourself to someone else's home. but, you know... it's cold. it's dark. there might be wolves and monsters in the shadows. you want your mother, but your mother has been dead for years. you reason, with a child's reasoning, that whoever owns the cottage has to understand how desperately you need it.

and, like... you have already learned how to make yourself useful. and here are these men who own the cottage, and they seem like they never learned the things you're good at, and they say they need a woman to keep house. you know how men are, they say. and suddenly, at thirteen, you're mother to seven adult men. you cook and clean and sing them songs and comfort them and they say: oh, snow white, you're so good. you're so kind. you're so sweet.

(none of them says: oh, snow white, you're still so young. snow white, you should have time to play. snow white, you should be a child. they might not be attracted to you, but you're still a woman in their eyes.)

and eventually, an old woman comes to your door, and she says: take this apple. take it, it's sweet. it's good for you. it's a gift.

and you might doubt her intentions, but you are a good girl. you learned to respect your elders and to listen to grown-ups. and she's so insistent, and she knows so much more than you, and even if she's old and crooked, she's also here with you, alone in the woods, and it's rude to turn old ladies away, but it's also dangerous. you've spent your life - all thirteen years of it - learning to appease and learning to be small. you don't trust the apple. you don't even like apples. you take it anyway.

and suddenly, it's all your fault. suddenly, you're stupid for being so trusting. suddenly, you should have known better. you should have stood up for yourself. you should have been a grown-up about this.

you are snow white. you wake up in a coffin with a mouth full of dust and apple. you are thirteen, maybe fourteen years old. you are sweet. you are innocent. you are trusting. you are frozen under glass, simultaneously a child and a woman, not growing up.

you already grew up. you learned so many things in the wrong order, in the wrong ways. you are jolted back to life by accident, when a grown man trips carrying your coffin.

the prince marries you. the dwarves say goodbye to you. the evil queen dances herself to death in red-hot shoes. the story's over. you won.

you never asked to compete.

you never asked to be the fairest of them all. you never tried to be. you never even knew it was happening.

god. it's so unfair.

[whalesongsblog]

A snippet from chapter 3 because I got impatient 🫶🏾 also lowkey debating making a pinned post with my oc’s lore

🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍

“-And I would like to conclude by pointing out that many of these laws have been passed with not an ounce of input from the communities they are impacting. Werewolves, for example, have no say in-“

A scoff, from her opponent.

Princess Miradevi Surya Lakshmi drew herself up slightly behind the podium, her ordinarily soft brown eyes narrowing.

“As I was saying. Werewolves are denied employment due to archaic laws they have no control over. Muggleborns like myself are still not represented in the Wizengamot, and if this society has any hope for cohesion and collective action, perhaps the government should focus on repairing what is broken rather than taking a hammer to an already shaky foundation. The so- called Purity Act reeks of injustice, corruption, and a horrific attempt at subjugating muggleborns and halfbloods.” Miradevi stepped back from the podium, chin lifted.

“I yield my time.”

Silence, for a few beats, before there was tentative applause echoing in the lecture hall.

Professor Binn’s wizarding politics course was not exactly rousing, and his debate exercises were hardly crowd stirrers. Dissent from the norm was few and far between, the class somewhat of a droning echo chamber despite Binns’ best efforts at sparking discussion.

As soon as they were dismissed, the students packed up and began leaving the lecture hall in a cacophony of chatter. But in the midst of it all, Miradevi heard a voice she’d recognize anywhere.

“Your highness.”

Miradevi turned, the princess’s lips lifting into a smile. She reached out a mehendi- patterned hand to the heir of Slytherin as he approached her.

“Ominis.”

Ominis Gaunt took her hand, trying not fixate on how soft the slender digits were, how perfectly they fit in his palm. A puzzle piece coming together, her small hand slotting into his, the space was carved out for her, only her-

“My princess.” He murmured a greeting again, his voice soft as he bowed, bringing his lips to brush a gentle kiss to the back of her hand. “You were… incredible. I do think Atticus Zabini made a foolish mistake when choosing you as a debate opponent.”

Miradevi laughed, ducking her head slightly in a rare moment of humility. Her brothers long suffered their little sisters’ crowing when she bested them in anything, yet she could not bring herself to do the same now. 


“You’re very heavy handed with the flattery.” She tried to brush it off, willing away the heat rising on her neck. 
Beyond the hall, the students were swarming to their next classes or to the grounds beyond the university. Spring was upon them, and Mira could taste the nectar- sweet scent of flowers blooming on the hills, the sharp snap of pollen in her nose.

“I do not say things I don’t mean.” Ominis realized she had fallen into step beside him, following him, letting him guide her through the stone halls. “Your stance was much needed, and I do hope that your thoughts on the Purity Act reach people who are in desperate need to hear it.”

“I don’t understand how such a law could even be suggested, let alone be open to pass in the Wizengamot.” Miradevi frowned slightly. “Any voice of dissent is suppressed. Muggleborns who take issue with the law have to go through ridiculous beauraucratic hoop-jumping to get their voices heard when we are the ones most likely to be affected by it.”

“Absolute power corrupts absolutely, my princess.” Ominis said quietly. “The Wizengamot has always catered to the whims of pureblood families and have been rewarded immensely for it.”

“Good to know that political corruption is a constant no matter where one goes.” Mira’s tone was airy. Feeling slightly daring, she gently squeezed Ominis’ hand. “I must take my leave. My next class is all the way on the other side of the castle. I hope I run into you again, Ominis.”

“The sentiment is shared, my princess.” He said quietly. He heard a soft rustle of fabric and realized Miradevi had given him a small curtsey.

Heat flooded his face at the political implication of that move and before he could say anything or do anything besides gape slightly, the princess had walked off with a swish of her sari, her heeled shoes clicking on the flagstones.

[shiorihyugawrites]

Diamond Of The First Water

In the aftermath of war, Paradis finds itself in need of powerful alliances. When Emperor Armand of Valoria offers his military aid in exchange for the hand of his daughter, Princess Solina, in marriage, Captain Levi Ackerman is thrust into an engagement that begins as a political strategy but soon becomes something much deeper.

Princess Solina, sheltered from the world and unaware of the realities of love and war, finds herself drawn to Levi—the man known as Humanity’s Strongest Soldier. As they navigate royal customs, public expectations, and the growing threat of Marley, the bond between them deepens into a genuine connection.

But neither Solina nor Levi are prepared for the challenges of a political marriage, the weight of intimacy, and the secrets that lie beneath the surface. As Solina enters a new life with Levi, her naivety is tested, and Levi faces a battle unlike any he’s fought before—the fight to protect his heart.

Can their love flourish in the midst of war, duty, and danger? Or will the forces conspiring against them tear them apart before they can find peace? (Levi x OC)

Chapter Thirty Three

The months passed swiftly on Paradis, and the fruits of their labor were undeniable. The mining of the ice burst stone had proven to be even more successful than anticipated. Deep beneath the earth’s surface, veins of the valuable resource extended farther than anyone had imagined, making Paradis one of the wealthiest territories in the world in terms of raw materials. The discovery had sent shockwaves through the scientific and military communities, and Valorian engineers worked tirelessly alongside Hange, devising innovative ways to utilize the stone.

“Did you know this gas can make swords lighter, Levi?” Hange babbled excitedly, holding up a piece of steel suspended by wires in her lab. “We’re talking about combat efficiency through the roof! Imagine ODM gear being twice as effective because the blades are easier to maneuver!”

Levi rubbed his temples, trying to feign interest. “As long as it kills titans or anyone stupid enough to threaten Paradis, that’s all that matters.”

“Always so pragmatic,” Hange teased, her glasses catching the light as she grinned. “But this discovery could change everything.”

Levi wasn’t one to entertain Hange’s scientific ramblings for long, but even he couldn’t deny the implications. Still, his thoughts wandered elsewhere—to Solina. She’d flourished in these two months, becoming an irreplaceable figure among the people of Paradis.

The charity she and Historia had established was thriving. Levi had witnessed firsthand the impact it was making. Rows of modest yet sturdy homes now dotted the outskirts of Shiganshina, specifically designed for single mothers and their children. The buildings were surrounded by lush community gardens where children laughed and played. Solina had poured her heart into the project, and it showed.

One day, as Levi walked through the housing district, he overheard a conversation between two mothers sitting on a bench, their toddlers giggling nearby.

“Princess Solina even visited my house last week,” one said, her voice tinged with awe. “She asked me if there was anything more we needed. Can you believe that? A princess coming to my house?”

“She’s so kind,” the other replied. “It’s no wonder Captain Levi married her. They say she’s Valoria’s Diamond, and I can see why.”

Levi’s steps faltered, their words stirring something deep within him. It wasn’t just pride—it was a profound gratitude for the woman who’d become his partner. He found Solina later that evening in her study, poring over reports from the charity.

“You work too hard,” he said, leaning casually against the doorway.

Solina looked up, startled but smiling. “And who’s the one who pushes himself harder than anyone else?” she countered playfully.

Levi approached her, his eyes softening as he watched her. “What you’re doing here…” He paused, searching for the right words. “It’s incredible, Solina. These kids, these families… They’re going to have a chance because of you.”

Solina’s cheeks flushed, but her smile widened. “I couldn’t have done it without you and Queen Historia. You’ve both been so supportive.”

Levi stepped closer, resting a hand on her shoulder. “You’re something else, you know that?” His voice was low, almost reverent. “Someone like you… maybe if you’d been around back then, my mother—” He stopped himself, looking away.

Solina stood, placing her hands on his arms. “Levi,” she said softly, “I’m so sorry for what you went through. But if this can help even a fraction of the people who need it, then it’s worth every effort.”

He nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat. “Yeah. It is.”

Meanwhile, at the military training grounds, Solomon and Levi continued their rigorous oversight of the joint military exercises. The soldiers of Paradis had come to admire the Valorian crown prince for his strategic mind and combat prowess, even if his royal status initially made them skeptical. Solomon had earned their respect, and he held his own in sparring matches, often pushing the soldiers to their limits.

One soldier muttered to another during a break, “I swear, that prince is as intense as Captain Levi.”

The other scoffed. “No one’s as intense as Captain Levi. But yeah, he’s close.”

As for Solomon, he was doing his best to bury his unrequited feelings for Mikasa. His longing glances had grown less frequent, but he still couldn’t help but admire her skill during training sessions. Mikasa, for her part, remained oblivious, focused entirely on her duties and, of course, on Eren.

Back at the Ackerman estate, Solina and Levi’s relationship had deepened into something neither had anticipated. Levi found himself looking forward to the quiet evenings they spent together, whether it was sharing a meal or simply sitting in companionable silence. He had always considered love a luxury he couldn’t afford, but with Solina, it felt natural—like breathing.

One night, as they sat by the fireplace, Solina rested her head on Levi’s shoulder. “Did you ever think we’d get here?” she asked softly.

Levi looked down at her, his hand brushing against hers. “No,” he admitted. “But I’m glad we did.”

Their love was quiet but steadfast, a sanctuary in a world that had rarely offered them peace. And though they had only known each other for a short time, Levi couldn’t imagine his life without her now.

Their love life had blossomed into something neither of them had expected. For Levi, it was as if Solina had unlocked a side of herself that he hadn’t known existed—a side that was playful, mischievous, and utterly insatiable when it came to him.

Levi didn’t mind being wanted. Hell, he liked it more than he cared to admit. But sometimes, he felt like he had created a monster. Solina, his once-demure wife, had no qualms about teasing him in public. She would cast him sly glances or brush her fingers against his hand in ways that made his stomach twist with need—always when they were surrounded by others.

One such moment happened during a meeting at the palace. The council was discussing the progress of the ice burst stone mining, and Levi sat at the long table with the scouts, Solomon, and Historia. Solina sat beside him, dutifully taking notes as Historia spoke.

But then Levi felt it: the softest touch on his thigh.

His body went rigid as he glanced down, only to see Solina’s hand resting innocently on his leg. She wasn’t even looking at him, her expression perfectly serene as she continued writing.

Levi leaned closer, his voice low and sharp. “What do you think you’re doing?”

Solina didn’t respond. Instead, her fingers began a slow, deliberate movement, tracing circles on his inner thigh.

Levi swallowed hard, his grip on the edge of the table tightening. “Solina,” he hissed under his breath, his tone warning.

Finally, she turned her head toward him, her emerald eyes sparkling with mischief. “Yes, husband?” she asked, her voice so sweet it made his teeth ache.

Levi glared at her, his cheeks slightly flushed. “Behave,” he muttered.

Solina only smiled, withdrawing her hand and returning her attention to the meeting as if nothing had happened. Levi spent the rest of the meeting gritting his teeth and praying no one had noticed his reddened ears.

At the Ackerman estate, their evenings were no less eventful. Solina seemed to take great pleasure in discovering new ways to tease her husband, and Levi—stoic and disciplined though he was—often found himself helpless under her touch.

One night, as they lay in bed, Solina ran her fingers through Levi’s dark hair, her nails grazing his scalp as she whispered softly in his ear. “You know, I think I’m getting better at driving you crazy.”

Levi raised an eyebrow, his lips twitching into a smirk. “Better? You’ve mastered it, troublemaker.”

Solina giggled, her cheeks flushing. “It’s just fun to see you lose control,” she admitted, her hand trailing down his chest. “You’re always so composed around everyone else, but with me…” She leaned closer, her lips brushing against his jaw. “You’re all mine.”

Levi’s breath hitched, and he grabbed her wrist, stopping her wandering hand. His stormy gray eyes met hers, filled with a mixture of exasperation and desire. “You’re dangerous, you know that?”

Solina tilted her head, feigning innocence. “Am I?”

“Yes,” Levi said, his voice low and gravelly. “And one of these days, I’m going to turn the tables on you.”

Solina’s laughter was soft and melodic as she wrapped her arms around his neck. “I’d like to see you try,” she teased.

For Solina, this side of their marriage was everything Lady Madeline had promised it would be—intimate, exhilarating, and deeply fulfilling. Levi made her feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. He worshipped her with a quiet intensity that left her breathless, and in return, she loved seeing him, the strongest man she’d ever known, come completely undone under her touch.

In many ways, Levi had become her safe haven, her partner in every sense of the word. She trusted him completely, and that trust allowed her to explore parts of herself she hadn’t even known were there.

One afternoon, as they sat together in the garden, Solina rested her head on Levi’s shoulder, a content smile playing on her lips. “I didn’t know marriage could be like this,” she said softly.

Levi glanced at her, his expression softening. “Like what?”

“Comfortable,” Solina replied. “Loving. Fun.” She looked up at him, her green eyes shining. “You make me feel… safe. And confident.”

Levi reached for her hand, threading his fingers through hers. “That’s how you make me feel, too,” he admitted, his voice low. “You’ve changed everything for me.”

They sat in silence for a moment, the weight of their love settling over them like a warm blanket.

Solina smiled, leaning up to press a kiss to his cheek. “I think we’re doing pretty well for newlyweds.”

Levi chuckled softly. “Yeah, we are.”

…

Later on, Levi stood in the open training yard at HQ, his sharp gray eyes scanning the soldiers before him. The Valorian and Paradis soldiers were working together in synchronized drills, their movements precise and fluid—a testament to weeks of rigorous training. Solomon stood nearby, arms crossed, issuing commands to a group of Paradis soldiers practicing Valorian combat techniques.

Things had been progressing well on all fronts. The ice burst stone mining had exceeded expectations, yielding an abundance of the rare material. Engineers and scientists were already exploring its endless potential, and Hange, as usual, was utterly consumed by the possibilities. For the military, the integration of Paradis and Valorian forces had also been a resounding success. The soldiers had built camaraderie, and even Solomon had earned the respect of Paradis' hardened veterans with his combat skills and leadership.

But something was gnawing at Levi’s mind.

He shifted his attention from the soldiers to Solomon, who was now sparring with a Paradis soldier, demonstrating techniques with his usual finesse. Levi had grown to respect the Crown Prince. Despite his initial reservations, Solomon had proven himself to be skilled, intelligent, and surprisingly down-to-earth for a man of his rank. But Levi couldn’t shake the question lingering in the back of his mind.

What exactly did the Emperor want with the ice burst stone?

Levi wasn’t the type to speculate without cause. He had spent enough time with the Valorians to know they weren’t reckless, and the Emperor himself seemed like a pragmatic man, not someone who would misuse such a powerful resource. Still, the lack of transparency was unsettling.

“Oi, Crown Prince,” Levi called out, his voice cutting through the clamor of the training yard. Solomon paused mid-spar, glancing over his shoulder.

“What is it, Captain?” Solomon asked, his tone polite but curious as he straightened and handed the wooden training sword to the soldier he’d been sparring with.

Levi motioned for Solomon to join him, stepping away from the main group of soldiers to a quieter corner of the yard. Solomon followed, brushing a strand of red hair from his face.

“You’ve been working with the engineers and overseeing the mining,” Levi began, his voice low and measured. “Any idea what your old man plans to do with all that ice burst stone?”

Solomon’s expression didn’t falter, but there was a brief flicker of something in his eyes—something Levi didn’t miss.

“The ice burst stone has many applications,” Solomon said after a moment, his tone diplomatic. “It’s already being used to enhance transportation, machinery, and military equipment. My father likely sees it as a means to strengthen Valoria’s technological and economic standing.”

Levi’s eyes narrowed slightly. “That’s a lot of words to say nothing.”

Solomon chuckled softly, crossing his arms. “You don’t mince words, do you, Captain?”

“No, I don’t. And I don’t like vague answers either.” Levi’s gaze was steady, probing. “The Emperor hasn’t been clear about his intentions. You’re here as his representative. Surely you know more than you’re letting on.”

Solomon met Levi’s gaze, his expression calm but unreadable. “I understand your concern, Captain. But I assure you, Valoria’s intentions are not hostile. My father values this alliance with Paradis. The ice burst stone is a resource that will benefit both our nations.”

Levi didn’t respond immediately. He studied Solomon, searching for cracks in the Crown Prince’s carefully constructed demeanor. But Solomon held firm, his composure unshaken.

“Tch. Fine,” Levi muttered, turning his attention back to the training yard. “But if there’s something I should know, you’d better tell me before it becomes a problem.”

“You have my word,” Solomon said, inclining his head slightly.

Levi didn’t entirely trust Solomon’s response, but he knew he wouldn’t get anything more out of the prince today. Still, the interaction left him uneasy. If there was more to the Emperor’s plans for the ice burst stone, Levi intended to find out—one way or another.

For now, he pushed the thought aside and returned to the task at hand, barking orders at the soldiers to keep them on their toes. But as he watched Solomon step back into the fray, effortlessly commanding the respect of the troops, Levi couldn’t shake the feeling that the Crown Prince was holding something back.

And whatever it was, Levi had a sinking suspicion it wasn’t something he—or Paradis—would like.

Levi made his way across the training yard to where Hange was poring over a stack of blueprints and schematics spread out on a makeshift table. She was muttering to herself, gesturing animatedly as a group of engineers nodded along. Her enthusiasm was palpable, but Levi had a different matter on his mind.

“Hange,” Levi called, his voice cutting through her monologue.

She looked up, her eyes lighting up when she saw him. “Ah, Levi! Just the man I wanted to see. Look at this!” She jabbed a finger at one of the schematics, her tone brimming with excitement. “If we can refine the gas from the ice burst stone properly, we might be able to reduce the weight of ODM gear by 30%! Can you imagine the possibilities?”

Levi glanced at the schematics briefly before cutting to the chase. “I need to talk to you. Alone.”

Hange raised an eyebrow, surprised by his serious tone, but she nodded. “Alright, give me a minute.” She turned to the engineers. “You all keep working on this. I’ll be back soon.”

Hange followed Levi to a quieter corner of the yard, her expression shifting to one of curiosity. “What’s on your mind, Captain Serious?”

Levi crossed his arms, his gray eyes narrowing slightly. “It’s about the Emperor and the ice burst stone.”

Hange tilted her head, intrigued. “What about it?”

Levi exhaled sharply, trying to gather his thoughts. “It’s not that I don’t trust Solomon or the Emperor. I’ve seen enough to know they’re not our enemies. And I know the Emperor wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize Paradis—not with Solina living here now. But there’s something they’re not telling us.”

Hange leaned against the wall, her eyes studying Levi intently. “You think they’re hiding something?”

“I know they are,” Levi said flatly. “I asked Solomon directly, and he danced around the question. Gave me some vague answer about the stone being used to strengthen Valoria’s economy and technology. He didn’t outright lie, but he wasn’t being honest either.”

Hange frowned, tapping her chin thoughtfully. “That is…interesting. But what could they possibly want with the stone that they’d need to keep it a secret? We’ve already seen its potential—machinery, transportation, even military applications. What more could there be?”

Levi shook his head. “That’s what I’m trying to figure out. The stone’s properties—its weight-reducing gas, its energy potential—are all revolutionary. But if there’s another use for it, something we haven’t considered…”

“Something they don’t want us to know about,” Hange finished, her expression darkening slightly.

Levi nodded. “Exactly. I don’t think it’s anything that would harm Paradis. The Emperor’s too careful for that. But I can’t ignore the feeling that there’s a piece of the puzzle we’re missing.”

Hange crossed her arms, her mind already racing through possibilities. “You’re right to trust your instincts, Levi. Solomon’s a sharp guy, but even he has limits to what he’s willing to share. If the Emperor has plans for the ice burst stone that go beyond what we’ve been told, it’s worth keeping an eye on.”

Levi gave her a pointed look. “You’re better at this kind of thing than I am. If there’s anything you can dig up—anything that doesn’t add up—I want to know about it.”

Hange grinned, her enthusiasm returning. “Oh, you’re putting me on a mission, are you? Fine, I’ll see what I can find. But don’t be surprised if I end up roping you into it later.”

“Tch. Just don’t get caught snooping around,” Levi muttered.

Hange laughed, clapping him on the shoulder. “Don’t worry, Levi. I’ve got this. And if there’s something they’re hiding, you can bet I’ll figure it out.”

Levi watched as Hange walked back to her blueprints, her mind already working on how to uncover the truth. He trusted her to handle it—she was relentless when it came to chasing answers. But even as he returned to the soldiers, a nagging sense of unease lingered in the back of his mind.

Whatever the Emperor’s true intentions were, Levi was determined to find out. And if it turned out to be something Paradis couldn’t ignore, he would be ready.

…

Levi returned to the Ackerman Estate later that afternoon, his thoughts still swirling around his earlier conversation with Hange. The questions about the Emperor’s true intentions with the ice burst stone clung to him like a shadow, and no matter how much he tried to shake it off, the unease wouldn’t leave him.

As his carriage rolled to a stop in front of the estate, Levi stepped out and immediately noticed how quiet everything seemed—at least from the outside. He opened the grand front door, already expecting to find Solina in the middle of one of her projects. But instead of the usual calm hum of the household, he was greeted by what could only be described as an onslaught of noise.

Shrill screeches, off-key notes, and enthusiastic banging echoed from one of the large rooms on the first floor. It sounded like someone was torturing a pack of animals, and Levi froze in the entryway, his hand gripping the hilt of his blade out of instinct.

“What the hell…” he muttered under his breath, his eyes narrowing as he made his way toward the source of the chaos.

The closer he got, the louder the cacophony became. His keen ears picked up on what sounded like mismatched violin strings screeching over the banging of a tambourine and the jarring, off-rhythm pounding of a small drum. Yet, cutting through it all, he could hear Solina’s voice—bright and encouraging.

When Levi stepped into the music room, the sight before him was both confusing and…endearing.

A group of children from Historia’s orphanage was spread throughout the room, each armed with a musical instrument. Some were banging away on drums, while others were screeching bows across violins. One particularly enthusiastic boy seemed to be testing how loud he could blow into a recorder, much to the annoyance of the child next to him. Solina stood in the center of it all, her emerald eyes sparkling with delight as she clapped her hands in time with the chaotic rhythm.

“That’s it! Wonderful effort, everyone!” she exclaimed, her voice rising above the din. “Remember, music comes from the heart. Don’t be afraid to feel it!”

Levi stood in the doorway, his mouth slightly ajar as he processed the scene. He had faced Titans, Marleyan soldiers, and the horrors of war—but nothing could have prepared him for this.

One of the kids, a freckled boy holding a tiny cymbal, noticed Levi first. His eyes widened, and he tugged on Solina’s dress. “Princess Solina, Captain Levi’s here!”

Solina turned, her face lighting up at the sight of her husband. “Levi!” she exclaimed, completely unfazed by the noise. “You’re home early!”

Levi stepped further into the room, dodging a tambourine that had fallen to the floor. “What…is all this?” he asked, his voice carrying a mix of confusion and exasperation.

Solina laughed, brushing a strand of hair from her face. “I’m giving the kids a music lesson! Isn’t it wonderful? They’ve been so eager to learn.”

Levi raised an eyebrow, glancing around the room at the enthusiastic, if somewhat uncoordinated, group of children. “Wonderful isn’t the word I’d use.”

“Oh, come on,” Solina teased, walking over to him. “They’re trying their best. Music is about expression, not perfection.”

Levi sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “It sounds like a flock of dying pigeons.”

“Levi!” Solina chided, though she couldn’t suppress her giggle. “They’re kids. Be nice.”

One of the children—a boy no older than eight—stepped forward, clutching his small drum nervously. “Captain Levi, do you want to play too?”

Levi blinked, taken aback. “Me?”

“Yeah!” the boy said, his face lighting up. “Princess Solina said music is for everyone.”

Solina beamed at her husband, her expression daring him to say no. Levi sighed heavily, knowing he’d lost this battle before it even began.

“I’ll pass,” he muttered, crossing his arms. “But keep practicing. Maybe next time it won’t sound like you’re trying to summon Titans.”

The kids erupted into laughter, and even Solina couldn’t hold back her amusement. She reached out and squeezed Levi’s hand. “Thank you for humoring us,” she said softly, her smile filled with affection.

Levi glanced at her, his irritation melting away. “Yeah, yeah. Just don’t let them break anything.”

As the children resumed their enthusiastic practice, Solina led Levi out of the room, her hand still in his. “Admit it,” she teased. “You thought it was a little cute.”

“Tch.” Levi didn’t respond, but the faintest hint of a smirk tugged at his lips.

Solina grinned, leaning up to kiss his cheek. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

…

The screeching of violins and banging of drums gradually died down as Solina clapped her hands, gathering the children's attention. "Alright, everyone! Let’s give the instruments a little break and try something new," she said brightly, her voice filled with unwavering enthusiasm.

Levi, who had been lingering near the doorway with his arms crossed, raised an eyebrow. He wasn’t sure what could be worse than the makeshift orchestra he’d just endured. His question was quickly answered as Solina announced, “We’re going to practice singing! Let’s form a choir!”

The children lit up at the idea and eagerly scrambled into a loose formation in front of Solina. Some were standing, others kneeling, and one particularly bold boy climbed onto a chair to be in the “front row.” Solina didn’t seem to mind their lack of order as she smiled warmly and gestured for them to settle down.

“Now,” she began, clasping her hands together, “we’re going to sing a simple song. Something cheerful and easy, okay?”

“Yes, Princess Solina!” the kids chorused, though their voices ranged from sweet and angelic to gratingly high-pitched. Levi winced at the cacophony but stayed quiet, leaning against the doorframe with his usual stoic expression.

“Perfect!” Solina exclaimed, clearly unfazed. “Let’s start with a scale. Repeat after me.” She sang a note, her voice clear and melodic, and the children attempted to follow. Attempted being the key word.

The result was… something. Half the group was too high, a few were too low, and one girl seemed to be singing an entirely different tune altogether. Levi’s eye twitched as the discordant sound filled the room. He half-expected the estate’s glass windows to start cracking under the strain.

“Great effort!” Solina said, beaming despite the auditory assault. “Let’s try again. Remember to breathe deeply and use your diaphragm.”

As the children tried once more, Levi couldn’t help but watch his wife in awe. She was so patient, so encouraging, even when the result was a chaotic mess. She was completely in her element, her green eyes sparkling with warmth and her smile lighting up the room. It was the kind of radiance that softened even the toughest of hearts.

“Are you going to join us this time, Captain Levi?” Solina called out, her tone teasing as she glanced back at him.

Levi snorted. “Not a chance.”

The kids giggled, and one boy whispered to his friend, “Do you think he can even sing?”

“Of course he can!” the other whispered back. “He’s Captain Levi. He can do anything.”

Levi rolled his eyes but didn’t bother correcting them. Instead, he shifted his gaze back to Solina, who was trying her best to lead the kids through a simple song. The words were straightforward enough, and Solina sang each line first for the children to repeat.

The first attempt was… rough. One boy was two beats ahead, three others were hopelessly off-key, and a little girl in the back was singing so softly she could barely be heard. Levi bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing as the chaos unfolded.

“You’re doing great!” Solina said, clapping her hands. “Let’s try again, but this time, follow my lead. Remember, it’s not about being perfect—it’s about having fun.”

Levi scoffed softly to himself. Not about being perfect? That was a foreign concept to him. But he had to admit, watching Solina interact with the kids was… endearing. She was a natural with them, effortlessly making each child feel seen and valued, no matter how off-key their singing was.

The second attempt wasn’t much better than the first, but Solina didn’t seem to mind. She encouraged them with soft applause and kind words, and the kids were clearly having the time of their lives. Levi, despite his usual preference for order and structure, found himself smiling faintly at the scene.

As the children launched into another enthusiastic (and off-key) round of singing, Solina glanced over her shoulder and caught Levi watching. Her smile widened, and she gave him a little wave.

Levi shook his head but couldn’t hide the warmth in his expression. “You’re going to break every window in this estate,” he called out, his tone deadpan.

The kids burst into laughter, and Solina shot him a playful glare. “Oh, hush, Levi. You’re just jealous of our talent.”

“Talent, huh?” Levi muttered, pushing off the doorframe and walking closer. “Pretty sure I just heard a cat screeching in there somewhere.”

“Captain Levi!” one of the kids protested, his face red with laughter. “We’re trying our best!”

Solina laughed along with them, her joy infectious. She turned to the children and said, “Don’t listen to him. You’re doing wonderfully. And besides…” She glanced back at Levi, her green eyes sparkling with mischief. “He’s secretly enjoying this. He just won’t admit it.”

Levi snorted but didn’t deny it. He folded his arms and leaned against the wall, content to watch as Solina continued leading the children. The sound might have been grating, but the sight of his wife so happy, so at ease—it was worth every off-key note.

An hour later, the children’s laughter echoed through the halls as they gathered their belongings, preparing to head back to the orphanage. Solina stood by the grand entryway, her radiant smile never faltering as she handed out small satchels of snacks and trinkets she had prepared for each child.

“Thank you, Princess Solina!” a little girl chirped, clutching her bag tightly. “This was the best day ever!”

Solina knelt down to the child’s level, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. “I’m so glad you had fun. You’ll have to come back soon, alright?”

The girl nodded enthusiastically before joining the others near the waiting carriage. The clattering of hooves and the creak of the wooden wheels signaled the driver’s readiness to depart. The house staff busied themselves ensuring every child was accounted for, while Levi lingered in the background, arms crossed and expression neutral—though his eyes softened as he watched Solina interact with the children.

“Alright, everyone, time to say goodbye!” Solina called out cheerfully, her voice carrying over the chatter. The children rushed forward, lining up to give her hugs. Each one received a warm embrace and a few kind words from the princess, who seemed to know exactly how to make each child feel special.

Just as the last child stepped away from Solina, the group turned their collective attention to Levi. There was a brief pause, a hushed murmur, and then chaos erupted.

“Captain Levi! Don’t think you’re getting away that easily!” one boy shouted.

Before Levi could even process what was happening, a wave of children barreled toward him, their small arms wrapping around his legs, waist, and—unfortunately—his torso as they launched into an impromptu group hug. Levi’s eyes widened in alarm as he staggered slightly, caught off guard by the unexpected ambush.

“Oi!” he barked, his voice sharper than intended. “What the hell—”

But the children only laughed, completely unbothered by his gruff tone. “We’re hugging you goodbye, Captain!” one of the older boys declared proudly. “You can’t stop us!”

Levi scowled, but the faintest hint of a smirk tugged at the corner of his lips. His hands hovered awkwardly in the air, unsure of what to do. “Tch. Brats,” he muttered under his breath, though there was no real malice in his voice.

From the sidelines, Solina clapped a hand over her mouth, her green eyes wide with amusement. “Oh, Levi,” she teased, her voice laced with laughter. “I think they’ve taken a liking to you.”

Levi shot her a deadpan look over the sea of small heads. “You think this is funny?”

Solina giggled, stepping closer. “I think it’s adorable.”

One of the smaller boys tugged on Levi’s jacket. “Captain Levi, do you think we’re strong enough to join the Scouts one day?”

Levi raised an eyebrow, his usual stoicism softening slightly. “That depends. Are you willing to listen to orders and not act like little terrors?”

The boy beamed. “Yes, sir!”

Another child chimed in, “We’ll be strong, just like you!”

Levi sighed, finally letting his hands fall to his sides as he patted the head of the nearest child. “You’d better be stronger than me. The world’s only getting tougher.”

The children nodded solemnly, their admiration for Levi palpable. Solina watched the scene with a warm smile, her heart swelling at the sight. Despite his gruff demeanor, Levi had a way of connecting with people—especially those who needed it most. She had no doubt that these moments would leave a lasting impact on the kids.

“Alright, enough,” Levi said finally, his voice firm but not unkind. “Get on the carriage before the driver leaves without you.”

Reluctantly, the children released their hold on him and shuffled toward the waiting carriage. They waved enthusiastically as they climbed aboard, their voices overlapping as they called out their goodbyes.

“Goodbye, Princess Solina! Goodbye, Captain Levi! Thank you!”

Levi stood beside Solina, watching as the carriage began to roll away. The children leaned out the windows, still waving and shouting until the sound of their voices faded into the distance.

Solina turned to Levi, her expression soft and fond. “That was so sweet,” she said, resting a hand on his arm. “I think they’ve officially made you their favorite.”

Levi scoffed lightly, brushing a hand through his hair. “They’re relentless, I’ll give them that.”

Solina laughed, her emerald eyes sparkling with delight. “Oh, admit it, you enjoyed it.”

Levi glanced at her, his gaze lingering for a moment before he sighed. “Maybe,” he conceded quietly. Then, with a smirk tugging at his lips, he added, “But if they break anything next time, I’m holding you responsible.”

Solina chuckled, leaning into his side as they turned to head back into the estate. “Deal.”

…

Later on at dinner, the dining room was warm with the golden glow of candlelight, casting long shadows across the intricately carved wooden table. Solina was seated across from Levi, her green eyes sparkling with excitement as she recounted the events of the day.

“And the little girl, the one with the pigtails? Oh, Levi, she said she wants to learn how to play the harp! Can you imagine? A harp! It’s such a difficult instrument, but she’s so determined. I think I’ll ask Lady Yvonne if she can spare some time to teach her.”

Levi nodded as he took another bite of his dinner, a small smirk tugging at his lips. Solina’s enthusiasm was infectious, and though he wasn’t particularly invested in musical aspirations, he couldn’t help but admire how deeply she cared for the children. “Sounds like she’s got the right teacher if she’s that determined.”

Solina beamed at the compliment. “Thank you, Levi. And the boys—they were talking about building something together. I think they’d love some carpentry lessons. Do you think you could...?” She trailed off, giving him a hopeful look.

Levi raised an eyebrow. “You want me to teach a bunch of kids how to build?”

“Well, you’re handy with tools,” she said with a small shrug, her smile turning playful. “I’ve seen the way you fix things around the estate.”

“Tch. I’m not running a woodworking class,” Levi replied, though his tone lacked its usual sharpness.

“But you’d be so good at it!” Solina pressed, her voice lilting with teasing warmth. “You’re patient, and you have such a steady hand.”

Levi couldn’t help but huff a soft laugh. “I’ll think about it.”

Satisfied with his answer, Solina turned her attention back to her plate, cutting into her roasted vegetables. Levi studied her for a moment, his gray eyes thoughtful. He decided it was as good a time as any to broach the subject that had been on his mind all day.

“Speaking of determination,” he began, keeping his tone light, “your father’s got plenty of it when it comes to the ice burst stone.”

Solina glanced up from her meal, her brows knitting together slightly. “What do you mean?”

Levi set down his fork and leaned back in his chair. “I mean, he’s been pouring a lot of resources into this mining project. Engineers, scientists, military personnel. It’s impressive, but it’s also...a lot.”

Solina tilted her head, her curiosity piqued. “Well, of course it’s a lot, Levi. The ice burst stone is a major discovery. It could change the future for both Valoria and Paradis.”

“That’s exactly what I’m wondering about,” Levi said carefully. “What kind of future? Has your father said what he plans to do with it?”

Solina frowned, her shoulders stiffening. “I don’t know the specifics, but I trust my father. He wouldn’t be doing this if it wasn’t for a good reason.”

Levi nodded slowly, his gaze steady. “I’m not saying he doesn’t have good intentions. I just think it’s worth understanding what those intentions are. This stone—it’s powerful. Too powerful to leave questions unanswered.”

Solina set down her fork, her excitement from earlier fading as her expression turned defensive. “Levi, my father has ruled Valoria with wisdom and kindness for decades. He’s a man of vision, and he’s always acted in the best interest of his people. You don’t have to question him.”

Levi held up a hand in a placating gesture. “I’m not trying to start anything. I’m just being cautious. You know how much I care about Paradis and its future. I need to be sure this mining is as straightforward as it seems.”

Solina’s lips pressed into a thin line, and she sat up a little straighter. “It is straightforward. My father wouldn’t jeopardize the trust between Valoria and Paradis. He values this alliance as much as anyone.”

Levi could see the tension building in her shoulders, the slight tremor in her voice as she tried to mask her irritation. He sighed, realizing he had pushed too far. “You’re right,” he said softly. “I trust your judgment. Let’s leave it at that.”

Solina studied him for a moment, her expression softening slightly. “I know you’re just trying to protect Paradis,” she admitted quietly. “But my father isn’t someone you need to worry about. He’s an honorable man.”

Levi gave her a small nod, deciding to let the matter drop. He reached across the table, placing his hand gently over hers. “I believe you.”

The gesture seemed to ease the lingering tension, and Solina offered him a faint smile. “Thank you, Levi.”

The rest of the meal continued in relative silence, but Levi’s mind remained preoccupied. He didn’t want to upset Solina, but he couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that there was more to the emperor’s plans than met the eye. Still, for now, he would set his suspicions aside. Solina deserved to enjoy her success and happiness without the shadow of doubt looming over them.

…

The bedroom was quiet, save for the soft rustle of fabric and the occasional creak of the wooden floorboards as Levi moved about, tidying up before bed. Solina sat at her vanity, the golden light of the lamp casting a warm glow on her features as she brushed her long red hair. Her emerald eyes were distant, lost in thought.

Levi’s words from dinner still lingered in her mind. Why would he bring that up? she wondered, her brow furrowing slightly. She knew Levi cared deeply for Paradis—his skepticism wasn’t unfounded, but it still unsettled her. Her father had always been a man of vision, someone she admired deeply. If anyone could be trusted to wield the power of the ice burst stone responsibly, it was Emperor Valerius.

Levi emerged from the adjoining bathroom, his dark hair slightly damp, and a towel slung around his neck. He glanced at her, noticing her faraway expression. “You’re quiet,” he observed, his voice low but steady.

Solina blinked, realizing she’d been brushing the same strand of hair for several minutes. “Just thinking,” she replied softly, placing the brush down on the polished surface of the vanity.

Levi walked over, his bare feet silent against the rug as he stood behind her. He rested his hands gently on her shoulders, meeting her gaze through the mirror. “About what I said?” he asked knowingly.

She hesitated, her hands fiddling with a small trinket on the vanity. “Yes,” she admitted. “I just... I don’t understand why you’d even bring it up. My father isn’t some scheming tyrant, Levi. He loves Valoria, and he values this alliance with Paradis.”

Levi’s gray eyes softened, and he gave her shoulders a reassuring squeeze. “I know that,” he said. “I’m not questioning his character. I’ve seen the way he runs things—he’s a good leader. But when you’ve lived through what I have... it’s hard not to be cautious. I don’t want Paradis to end up in a situation where we’re dependent on someone else’s resources or technology without understanding the full picture.”

Solina turned in her seat to face him, her expression a mixture of frustration and concern. “Levi, you don’t think my father would use the ice burst stone to manipulate Paradis, do you? He wants to share advancements, not hoard them.”

Levi crouched slightly so he was at her eye level, his hands now resting on the armrests of her chair. “I’m not saying he would. But power—any kind of power—has a way of changing people. I’ve seen it happen before.”

His words gave her pause, and for a moment, neither of them spoke. Solina looked down at her lap, her fingers twisting together. “I don’t know exactly what my father’s plans are,” she confessed. “But I do know he wants to use the ice burst stone to strengthen Valoria and share those advancements with Paradis. He wants to help, Levi. He’s not like the kings and emperors of old who sought conquest and control.”

Levi studied her face, taking in the sincerity in her voice. He reached out, brushing a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “I believe you,” he said quietly. “And I’m not trying to undermine your trust in him. I just want to be sure we’re not overlooking anything.”

Solina nodded slowly, her expression softening. “I know you’re trying to protect Paradis. It’s one of the things I admire about you.” She reached up, placing a hand over his. “But you don’t have to do it alone, Levi. I’m here too.”

A small smile tugged at the corners of Levi’s mouth, and he leaned forward, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. “I know,” he murmured. “And I’m glad.”

Solina’s smile returned, and she squeezed his hand before rising from the chair. “Let’s not talk about politics anymore tonight,” she said, her tone lighter now. “I’d rather focus on us.”

Levi chuckled softly, nodding in agreement. “Fine by me.”

They moved toward the bed, Solina slipping under the covers as Levi extinguished the lamps. As they settled in, Solina rested her head on Levi’s chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat.

“Thank you,” she said after a moment.

“For what?” Levi asked, his hand gently running through her hair.

“For caring. For always looking out for everyone, even when it’s exhausting.” She tilted her head to look up at him, her emerald eyes shining in the dim light. “It’s one of the things I love most about you.”

Levi’s expression softened, and he pressed a kiss to her hair. “Get some sleep,” he murmured, his voice laced with quiet affection.

As Solina closed her eyes, her worries began to fade. Whatever uncertainties lay ahead, she knew they would face them together.

~

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[brotherconstant]

Hellllo, wanted to ask what are your thoughts on Wheel of Time s3 ending?

hello! let's get the bad out of the way (putting everything under a cut bc this is going to end up in the tags since i didn't censor the character names)

siuan's death -> i strongly contest both her death, as in her character being removed from the story and its future developments, which are going to be the poorer for it, and the modality in which she was killed off. i think even tv-fans that haven't read the books - such as myself - could tell that siuan's character potential was barely explored and had yet to take off, even before season 3 and the finale. and i read posts stating that siuan's arc begins in earnest after her stilling, so judkins's decision to kill her off before exhausting her potential - which again was never properly delved into outside of her relationship with moiraine - and to use her death as a catalyst for moiraine's battle against lanfear shows incomptence and - surprise surprise - a tendency to neglect characters of color, especially women, and to deny them a dignified, comprehensive development - unless it serves another (usually white) character, moiraine in this case. it would have been interesting - even as a parallel to moiraine's losing her power in the previous season - to see siuan's role change after being stilled, the new ways she could have contributed to the battle, her coming to terms with it, especially because it would have added to one of the show's main themes, the divide between channelers and non-channelers. other people have spoken about the unnecessary brutality of her death.

as a consequence i couldn't fully enjoy the moiraine/lanfear fight, a shame since i adore their dynamic and chemistry + i love watching moiraine and lan fighting together + i was anticipating this fight after the rhuidean visions, so it was doubly ruined for me. rosamund's and natasha's acting was 💯 as usual, too bad it was in service of the worst scene in the show.

tanchico's arc being hurriedly wrapped up -> i'm going to be very short: what the fuck happened between nynaeve overcoming her block and parting the waters & the gang getting on the ship/liandrin going to moghedien. the pacing was weird. it's was a climactic moment and it was cut off so abruptly, i honestly thought my stream wasn't working properly and that some stuff was missing. idk something went wrong in post-production, at least that's my perception.

no lews. you will hear from my lawyers.

the good

MOIRAINE AND RAND MOIRAINE AND RAND!!! loved the scene where he expressed his gratitude to her, moiraine's being so affected by it. their bond is one of my favorite things in the whole show.

egwene's refusal to kneel to rand WE LOVE TO SEE IT!! ending the season on that note was great i'm sure it's not gonna eat me alive for the next year and a half, whatever. you made the whole world bow and the only one who wouldn't was me!!!! yay.

nynaeve breaking through her block and parting the waters on passover, you can't make this shit up. as i said the pacing needed some work but overall it was a good scene in itself.

elayne is my least favorite character but i enjoyed her in the tanchico eps. i can never really connect to her character or even see her as an integral part of the show (sorry, not hating, don't come at me you'll all be ignored) sometimes, but she gave us the hills of tanchico! including her in the good because i'm trying to be optimistic for what's to come.

i'm considering 3.07 goldeneyes as part of the finale, what a perfect episode. perrin aybara you're literally THEE character. also alanna not-dying one more time (they need to stop doing that oh my god), the twins avenging their mother in the most poetic way possible, and aram finding a new home in the two rivers... wah. daryl mccormack is a phenomenal actor. his screentime is minimal but his impact huge. i wish egwene had been there with them too, though i guess she was through her mom, marin.

mat and min continue to be one of my favorite dynamic. what's the point if you don't pepper in some betrayal and some misleading/averted death visions, what's the point if you're not both cursed. i really wish we'll see more of her, kae alexander is fantastic and she gives an amazing performance, whatever the mood of the scene. also i love a good 'if you wanted to kiss me you could have just asked' moment. gets me every time.

the forsakens keep serving it's what they were born to do.

[thepostofficesketch]

I enjoyed songbirds. For what it is, it was pretty good! (Long post below)

My takeaway was that it was not a love story. The romance was not the thesis. What collins is saying is that snow was already going to become the "villian" of the story and no amount of love was ever going to change that. The tragedy is not that he loved the wrong girl but that it is too late to save him from the man he will become.

From the outset, snow is a damaged boy; haunted and changed by the war and the resulting depression, he surivives through a combination of deprevation (first necessary, then purposefully chosen) and coping mechanisms that become obsessive habits. He denies himself food, music, sleep, yet insists on keeping up appearances for as long as possible. He is trying to control the last things in his power - his appearance and his education which will both impact his social standing. He does this first as an expression of autonomy, that he is still alive despite the war and the damage to his family, then later as an expression of his trauma.

Having lost almost everything, snow will do anything to prevent that from happening again.

His dislike of change, disorder, anything abstract and frivolous shows us that he craves control over his environment. If he can keep dressing a certain way, putting on a good show, saying all the right things to the right people, nothing bad will happen to him. He thrives in school, an ordered institution with set rules and expectations. He thrives as a peacekeeper for the same reason. He is loyal to the capitol because he is loyal to the order it represents. Even though he is cognizant of the problems in the system, he does not want to change it because with change comes uncertainty and without order and law there is the chaos of war. He undersrands that the relationship between government and citizen is a transactional one but he does not want to throw off the boot. He wants to wear it.

This is why he cannot empathize with sejanus or lucy gray. They exist outside this order and they do not wish to be controlled by it. He cares for them, certainly, but he does not understand them. This is why he does not help lucy gray escape. It's impossible to do that because it goes against the rules, but he can help her to win.

But once she wins, she has to return to her life outside order and decorum, her life of nonsensical music and poetry that exists only for pleasure and not to serve the state. There is so much here about censorship about art about repression of self expression it's so juicy and so relevant! And this is why they don't work, they could never work. He can only love Lucy Gray when she's in a cage.

The mockingjays represent this freedom, this independence and THAT is why snow hates them so much. Definition of the kid who didnt understand poetry in english class and joined rotc about it. The fact that lucy gray's music and her birds became a symbol of the revolution later is just a neat bit of narrative which is ultimately really cool.

In all, the whole book was that. Filling the holes of the original story with neat little pieces. Granted, some of this may have been actual worldbuilding collins had, but in all it felt like a 'wouldn't it be neat if' kind of story made in retrospect. Which is fine! I like the cheekiness of it all. Like of Course she was from 12 of Course this happened this way etc. Tigris I am not as pleased about like that s too convenient for me but whatever.

The point is the love was there but it wasn't enough and that is the tragedy. You're not supposed to feel much of anything for snow, you're supposed to feel badly for the people around him who - if only they had said something, had offered him another path, offered him a kindness, got him to stop listening to andrew tate - then maybe he would have been able to step off the path he was on, to keep his eye on that line and not cross it. If only... If only...

But no one did.

That's the warning.

[blackswallowtailbutterfly]

I truly don't know how you can see pictures of men stripped to their underwear, kneeling on the ground, in rows, and not have alarm bells ringing. People really will just go with the mainstream explanation of anything when it's convenient, huh? I saw those photos and my fucking heart rate jumped. Other people see it and apparently are just like Oh! Well, Israel says they're all Hamas, so I guess that's who they are and it's fine. :)

But I have to say--and I try not to do this usually--but it is really disappointing (doesn't quite cover it, but for lack of a better word) coming from women who know what it's like for the mainstream to tell you to ignore what you can clearly see with your own fucking eyes. When we're told that women can be men and say no the fuck they cannot. Where is this energy when the mainstream tells us "Israel's just defending itself from terrorists" when it's clearly a fucking massacre of civilians for an intended land-grab? Their politicians and military leaders have fucking SAID as much!

To be clear, I know it is impossible to be informed about every single atrocity taking place in the world, and I know not everyone not directly involved has been keeping up on and off through the last two decades as I have, and no I don't want people blindly spreading information if they don't know what's true and what isn't. As I said, I have not been keeping up consistently. There are other things closer to home, or which have a direct impact on myself or people I love, such my own country's actions towards the Indigenous peoples here. So I'm not shaming people who don't know and who can't add this issue to the list of things in the world they're spending energy on. It's disappointing to see how much silence there is, but I think impossible to hold any individual responsible or to make assumptions about why any one person hasn't said anything about it. So I'm not going to do that.

But I absolutely am talking about those who see the images, see the videos, see the reports from human rights organizations, see the statements by Israeli officials and still come down on the side of the oppressor. Like, do you not remember how a bunch of us gathered articles and news reports to prove to TRAs that yes, men are a danger to women even when they claim to be women, and how they responded with "cherry-picking!" "no true trans!" even against hundreds of such reports? Or else they justified it as retaliation against "transphobia"? And yet in spite of all this information out there, the idea that men can be women if they say so is fully mainstream. Women's voices are completely ignored. How do you not draw parallels? Because I'll tell you there are plenty to be drawn. These current events in Palestine aren't new. They've been happening since 1948. Which predates the existence of Hamas by several decades, by the way.

I don't understand it. I don't understand how you can do that, and I think the only explanation is racism. Because I don't see how else you could hear about pregnant Palestinian women being stopped at checkpoints and forcibly stripped, about disabled Palestinian women arrested and denied menstrual products and left to bleed in their wheelchairs, about Israeli soldiers using rubber bullets against disabled Palestinians engaging in peaceful protest, about a young American peace activist run over and crushed by a bulldozer as she stood in front of a Palestinian home, about women and girls held in Israeli detention centres where they're sexually harassed and assaulted by Israeli officers, about children as young as eight years old arrested and held for months on the charges of "throwing stones at soldiers", about women dying in childbirth or losing their newborns because of the lack of medical resources thanks to Israeli blockades or cutting the power, about a mother watching her children burn alive in white phosphorus with absolutely no way to stop it, about a woman drugged by an Israeli collaborator, stripped naked while unconscious, and having her photos sent to her religious family, etc.. I don't see how you could know about these things as a self-proclaimed feminist and still think Israel is justified.

It's racism.

[creepy-crowleys]

((Crowley is pretty sure she doesn't feel guilty enough/feel guilty for the right things/understand what she's supposed to be guilty for and how to fix it to be able to fully forgive herself. She certainly doesn't feel like she's earned it yet, and she doesn't feel like it's fair for her to decide that 'oh, everything's okay now, all's forgiven.'

It's important to her to hold herself to her own standards. Anything less would be making excuses and a bad habit to get into when she holds as much power as she does.

But yeah. It does weigh on her that she was told she didn't feel guilty enough for certain things, and in a way, she doesn't. She doesn't regret the deal she made with Match, trying to help her friend, or trying to engage with Match fairly. She was burned for it, badly, but she couldn't try to screw him over when there were still equal chances of her having jumped to conclusions in her worry or being unable to 'win' decisively enough that the situation turned in a more prolonged conflict or drew in more people.

She only really regrets the impact the situation had on Nata and Yuya, her inability to protect either of them, and having denied Nata a say in the matter in trying to protect her from the responsibility of Crowley's choice.

But it was her choice, and one that she would make again. For that much, at least, her conscience is clear.

And she realizes that's part of the problem as far as forgiveness is concerned.

In other things, she doesn't fully understand what she needs to change, or how to know if she's changed enough or the right things. People she trusted and respected told her she was wrong - in pretty strong terms at that! So. They must be right, right?

But how does she know when she's come far enough to have earned forgiveness versus just half-assing the work and making excuses for herself?

...She doesn't think she's there yet. Maybe someday.))

[tragcdysewn]

was that dove cameron? oh no no, that was just lumine, a canon character from genshin impact. they are twenty five years old, use she/her, and are aware that they are not actually from washington dc. too bad they can’t stray from this city for long.

how long has your character been here:

a little under three years

what is your character’s job:

she takes up odd jobs like deliveries and pet sitting

where has your character been pulled from in their fandom:

it changes as the game goes on, but right now, the end of the fontaine storyline

has any magic affected your character:

none beyond making her unaware for a bit!

and any other information you might find useful for us and the other members to know:

lumine is primarily known as the traveler, because she arrived in the world of teyvat with her twin brother aether as falling stars. her true age is unknown, all that's known is that the twins are far older than they look.

aether explored for a while without her, while she was asleep, but woke her up when the gods destroyed the nation of khaen'riah for their crimes against the other seven nations

they tried to flee teyvat, but were stopped by an unknown god, who stole aether away and put lumine in a deep sleep, her powers and wings taken away from her

when she woke, she began looking for her brother, going across teyvat and trying to find the gods to see if any of them have any information about what happened to aether. so far, she's traversed five of the seven nations, and has uncovered a lot more than she expected

at the beginning of her journey, she discovered that she possessed the ability to wield various elements of the world, without the vision that citizens of teyvat would require, as well as being able to acquire all of them, rather than being restricted to one like a vision holder would be

as she traveled across teyvat, she ended up involved in wars and defeating monsters, as well as making an enemy of the crime organization known as the fatui

she eventually managed to find aether, only to be told that the time yet wasn't right for them to reunite, that she needed to finish her journey across the continent and find the truth of the world before they could be siblings again

it only made her more determined, and she continued on her journey, though she still has a long way to go before she can complete her quest and find her brother

lumine is rather quiet, but friendly, and an absolute bleeding heart. she can't deny people help when they need it, even when she tries. she tries so hard to avoid the war in inazuma, but upon seeing how much the people are suffering, she immediately joins up, she's easy to befriend, even if she acts otherwise

[stella-facem-ducens]

Zutara fic “Our new Destiny”

During the night on the fire nation tiny paradise called the ember island Katara and Zuko the start understanding something, what  happened in ba sing se had a big impact on what the world means to them. It opened the door for happiness but also made them realize the destiny the have is not a destiny chosen by them and maybe it is time to change that maybe it is time to open a new path, a new destiny, a destiny where they are both together no matter what the world says.

big thanks to me betareader @gefionne

link :https://archiveofourown.org/works/46232395

Both Zuko and Katara agreed the whole thing was a fiasco because both of them now have to face a reality they both denied for a long time: the events in catacombs of ba sing se. they need to face this simple fact, the actors were not far from the truth, maybe they didn't kiss but they almost did. Zuko until this day can clearly remember how Katara pressed her gentle hands on his scar. Zuko never allows anyone touch him yet he couldn't stop her touch because it brings him a sense of joy.

-How could he say no to the girl whose eyes hold the ocean and its vast power?"

-How to say no the girl who saw greatness in me, worthy enough to gift me a gift from the gods. The water from the oasis and then betrayed her.

Zuko usually asked himself what would have happened if she actually had used the water on him. surely the avatar would be dead by now or maybe not. Zuko always has theories and enjoys thinking how far Katara can push the boundaries of water bending. no normal master can bring people back from the dead, even with "magic water." maybe she could had revived him without it, but that is ancient history. what it matters is, his dear Katara was willing to trade the gift of the spirit just to make him happy. nobody has never done that for Zuko yet for some reason she did. sadly, nothing can be perfect. there is another truth– a painful truth: Katara chose the avatar and every single time she will always choose him above Zuko and to this day she is still doing it., there are no words to describe the pain Zuko feels, how painful it is for Zuko to watch his beloved waterbender with that avatar. he can barely control himself. so far he has successfully not burned everything.

Each time Zuko sees Katara specially now he asks himself:    

 "Why him? Am I am not worthy of her love ? maybe Azula was right I will never be enough, not enough for my mother, not enough for my father`s love, not enough for her . "

 Meanwhile Katara watches the sky wondering what went wrong, how mad she is with Aang. her best friend stole a kiss from her again. he is always behaving like the world owes him a debt and she is the  . “the avatar`s girl;” that is what everyone thinks of her. she is quite sure the only reason Pakku trained her is partially because she is with the avatar, she is part of the gang even in the eyes of her enemies. she is not just a foe, she is the avatar`s girl, the avatar`s ally. she is never just Katara, the master waterbender. even Zuko had addressed her as the avatar`s girl. Katara usually thinks if she is ever going to be something more. while in deep thought she walks aimlessly until she ends up near the shore. she guesses the destination is fitting water always calls her. maybe that is why she is now sitting on a rock near the ocean. the sounds of the waves relaxed her.

"Hello, Katara '' says Zuko somehow ashamed– or better to say sad. Katara can't decipher what is in the mind of the firebender. it is not only sadness. maybe it could be disappointment too, but she is not sure.

 "Hi, Zuko. what are you…" before she finishes her sentence with the same soft voice– almost as a whisper–Zuko says gently to her

 "Why the avatar?"     

 Katara knows what he means.

 "Why, Mai?" Katara replies.

 both of them try quite hard to answer the question: why them indeed?

 "Mai has always been there. when I was young, she was my only friend– well the only friend the fire lord Ozai considered worthy of being with me. she is the child of an incredibly powerful and wealthy man. his coins founded several campaigns in the earth kingdom. it’s no wonder why he was given the province of Omashu. did you know he calls himself the king of Omashu?"

 before Katara could actually reply to the absurd notion of that pitiful old man trying to be as worthy as Bumi, Zuko continues, "so I guess for me , she is the right chosen."

 quickly Katara stops him. she is starting to get angry. how dare he  ? like he is not allowed to choose– to make his own decisions?

 "She should be here, Zuko. Mai should be here," Katara says, her voice showing some hints of anger the whole situation.

 "You were banished. why was she not there with you in the south pole, helping you? why did she only accept you when you were giv back the title of crown prince? 

 "it makes me angry– quite angry— Zuko! she said she loves you, yet she is nowhere to be seen. her only good deed was helping you in the prison and I wonder why."

 Katara continues, "I think it is for selfish reasons. she feels guilty. Guilty of allowing Azula to go so far into madness and not saying anything sooner; guilty about you and how little effort she put into your needs; how she doesn't understand you anymore and at the same time not truly caring about the reasons why you are different. the worst thing is that she told you she loves you but she didn’t mean it. she feels guilty because she was lying to you, but destiny binds you together. she is going to be fire lady because it is her destiny… in her mind, she is your destiny."

 Zuko feels his hands burning– ready to burn everything around him. Katara is right; this is another thing the world has told Zuko: it is his destiny. how many things in his life are what people told him what to do because it is right for him? is he that worthless? He cannot know what is right and what is wrong. but Zuko is also pissed off at the hypocrisy. Katara is as guilty as him.

 "Katara , you are no better than me. I saw you so many times fighting for the world , but you never truly chose this path.

 " You were the one who woke up the avatar from the iceberg . the world threw you the duty to protect him. Has anyone asked you : do you want to protect the avatar? or like a boat without an engine , you just drift from one choice to another and let the world decide what you must do ?

 " You fought me in the north pole, you saved the avatar , yet again you get no credit just because the avatar pulled a deu s ex machin a and the ocean spirit possessed him... you know what is worse, that should not have happened at all ?

 "The battle for the north pole was already lost for my people , had the avatar actually done his job and stop ped Zhao before he reache d the oasis .

 do you truly think my army can win in a city made of ice with waterbenders at every corner ? the rational thing to do is a siege first .

 "Zhao threw my people to the lions and wished for the best : and that is to kill the moon. you protected the avatar long enough , until he could fix his own mistakes . his mistake was the fall of the north pole and you prevent ed it when you saved the avatar . "

 Zuko takes a deep breath. this whole conversation is making a dent in his mental stability.

 "Why does the world deem it fit to take away your accomplishments and give them to somebody else?

 "You saved the avatar`s life once more in ba sing se you saved him twice already, first in the south pole and then in the caverns , but nobody didn't thank ed you .

 "No matter what you do, they will never thank you because for them is your duty . it is something you have to do . is not something you want to do"

 Suddenly Katara starts to laugh but at the same time starts crying, a cry born from despair and sadness. unable to support herself, she hugs Zuko, pulling him as close as she can, her face on the firebender`s chest. after a short moment Katara speaks again, not pulling away from the chest that brings her warmth. like gentle flame.

 "You were my first true choice in this war,” Katara says. “I chose how to use the water. that is why I felt so betrayed: my only true choice, a choice with a deep impact.

 "I chose wrong, and you know what the worst part is? I would do it again, again and again . I saw kindness in you and my choice brought you back to me . I wouldn't trade that . "

 Zuko is shocked. he can't believe what he just heard. she chose him, she, the prodigy, a master, the most beautiful girl he has even seen, chose him. not knowing how to respond to her words, Zuko just hugs her like if his life depends on it.

 "I don't regret my biggest choice either,” he says. “I would speak up against my father and the general thousands of times. it is wrong sending warriors just to die. my people deserve better than that." Zuko gently pulls Katara away but just a little and watches her intensely. finally, he has an answer for why he chose Mai.

 "Katara, I want to make another mistake. a mistake I will never regret. though my reign may be incredibly more complicated because of my choice.

 "Mai is not my fate or destiny. because my destiny and  . I am going to stop the war and, in the process, save my nation: not only from my father but also from the other nations.

 "I refuse for Mai to be my destiny. my destiny is what I choose to do, and I chose saving my nation. my destiny is helping you. I will no longer be bound to the wishes of others because thanks to you and my uncle I now understand what is wrong and what is right," Zuko says proudly.

 "so Katara, the master water bender, the most prodigious of them all, may I request this:

Can your destiny be to betray the avatar "

 Katara watches Zuko intensely, trying to understand the deep meaning of his words. once again, just like in the catacombs, she makes the same choice.

 "My destiny is not be the avatar’s girl,” she says. “my destiny is help to people in need, to help this nation that needs all the help it can get, because nobody else will help them.

 "my destiny is be with the fire nation and you when the war is over .

 I am going to betray the love Aang has for me . I want to be with you.

 "I am going to betray the world, betray my father who will never allow me to be with a fire nation boy, betray my grandmother who will be disappointed in me for falling in love with a wonderful fire prince . I will betray my brother who wish es for me to be with the avatar .

 "I will again trade the world for you, my amazing , powerful bender . "

 She continues, "You know, a while ago somebody once said I was meant to be with a powerful bender, and you are one of the most powerful."

 At that moment both of them have no idea what to do, what to feel, what the future now holds for them after such a passionate kiss., a cute smile forms on Zuko's face; he clearly has an idea.

 “You know the room of the fire prince has an amazing bed, much better than yours. so what if today you sleep in my room? we are both tired after everything and I think we need a good night’s rest,” says the fire prince with a cocky smile, making his beautiful katara turn crimson just like his nation’s banner: a deep red.

 “Zuko , what the hell ! ”

 “I am serious, Katara. I don’t wanna, you know, do it; I just wanna cuddle with you. I know we won’t be together right now because of what you told to the avatar: there is no room for a relationship as long as the war continues, but still I wanna sleep next to you, cuddle with  you  be with you”

 Unable to respond to such words filled with love, especially because of that damn smile, the master bender has a weakness: Zuko`s smile.

 “Okay , Zuko , but let me get night clothes first.”

 Zuko watches Katara go away. as soon she is out of his sight, Zuko rushes into his room and makes it perfect: a perfect bed, no dust anywhere. Zuko must make it perfect; there is no way in hell he is going to mess this up, nothing and nobody will keep him away from this happy moment.

 Katara quietly tries to not wake up anyone. she slowly opens the door and without saying anything she lies in his “not a boyfriend for the moment until the war is over” bed.

for zuko it is an extremely awkward moment. neither of them know what to do. maybe questions flood his mind: should I ask her if I can cuddle with her or should I invite her into my bed first? lucky for both of them, they decide to go with their instincts. they gently lie next to each other and without a warning Katara feels how quickly Zuko embraces her. It appears Zuko’s dear Katara was extremely tired. she fell asleep almost immediately while Zuko wonders what’s next, what would happen if in the morning their team member opens the door of his room? Zuko is quite sure he is going to be the first to wake up after–all he rises with the sun.

should I wake up Katara as soon as I wake up or should I let her rest? Zuko wonders. suddenly the voice of Katara flashes into Zuko’s brain, something she said a while ago:

 “I love your smile , Zuko . it looks amazing on you and I like spending time with you .”

 Her words help him decide: he is going to let her rest and quietly wait until the door of his room opens so he can show everyone his smile and how Katara is happy when she is spending time with him.

[rovermcfly]

not that anyone asked for it but here's my Thunderheart novelization thoughts

also the sheer amount of micro-aggressions, especially from cooch. there is a lot of influence from the 4th script draft still in there. at this point I'm surprised they didn't include even more in the movie than they already have. racism in general is, probably realistically so, much more directly expressed.

I'm surprised by some of the differences to the movie, especially Ray's characterisation as pretty hot-headed and short-fused, especially giving Cooch lip from the start. Also the additional details like his growing up on the rez, trying to erase that from his file, all that was pretty bold. the movie seems to suggest a backstory of him being entirely out of touch, never having grown up around his own people and only knowing his father but choosing to erase his memory from his mind (but not to the point of erasing him from his file. his disdain seems more passive, less aggressive. like he thinks if he forgets and denies it will just go away), but just in general chooses ambiguity.

novel Walter is 💯💯🔥🔥 absolutely adore the way he's written. the same snark as movie walter but with much more of a touch of profoundness. "The expression in Crow Horse's eyes reminded Ray of Grandpa Reaches, sad and gentle and far-seeing all at the same time." is my favourite way that side of him is described. and I thought I loved him in the movie already, but the lines they wrote for him in the novel absolutely blew me away. I think they probably wouldn't have worked so well and felt too inauthentic on screen but some of them live very rent free in my mind. I'd die for novel walter.

I do like that it canonises that ray hears the drums and it's really significant. the soundtrack and sound design is one of the movie's strongest features, especially in marking all these significant moments. so having them be a part of Ray's visions is really nice.

What I really disliked is the way Maggie is described all the time. It is important for the movie that she has dignity and power and is not sexualised or otherwise a caricature. I understand she's pretty and mentioning that when first describing her, but the constant objectification is really just disgusting and yet another form of violence that Native women are constant victims of. It really really took away a lot of the good for me, she should've been treated with respect. this way the novel just perpetuates what the story takes a stand against. And I know it's supposed to be mainly Ray's POV but nobody forced them to write it that way.

I also found the Stronghold standoff very anticlimactic in the novel, when it's one of the strongest scenes in the movie. it was just lacking for some reason, too much talking and yet no clear stance and statement was made, overall the impact of the moment just wasn't there.

Overall I liked the novelization. It's about as captivating a read as the movie is captivating a watch. It clearly adapted more than just the film, taking several elements from earlier versions of the script. There were parts that, to me, deviated too much from the movie, making it feel like a different story, but as such it was overall good. Especially Ray feels like a different character in many ways. I still think the movie has a certain edge the novel lacks. Not sure how enjoyable a read it would be for someone doesn't already love the movie, but if you liked it it's a nice kinda alternate version to enjoy if you want more.

It's available to read for free on archive.org

[imkylotrash]

Darkness Hides Our Flaws

Pairing: Aleksander Kirigan x reader

Requests: She is a Tidemaker. No one knows they're married just that she's extremely powerful. She feels insecure with the whole Alina thing but she goes along with it cause it's part of the plan. She uses his real last name so people don't suspect them. Anonymous And She's the second in command. They've been together for a couple centuries. Alina does something to make her angry and she attacks her during training. The darkling and her get into a fight because she thinks he loves Alina. She’s sent on a mission cause of what happened with Alina. Her group is attacked and killed and everyone thinks she's dead but she was kidnapped by Fjerda. Anonymous

Tagging: @bitchwhytho​ @music-of-melody​ @shadowhuntyi​ @alice-the-nerd​ @bshelley322​ 

A/N I wasn’t sure if you meant his name in the Netflix show or his name in the book, so I did both. 

You hate her from the moment she arrives. You’re not supposed to. She’s the Saint Aleksander has been waiting for. It’s a good thing she’s here, but you still just hate her. There’s something about the way he watches Alina that makes you cringe. It’s that pent up hatred towards her that makes you snap when he asks you to train her. 

“I love you, Aleksander Morozova, but I will not spend any more time with her than needed.” You slip on your blue kefta taking a final look in the mirror before turning towards the man you consider the love of your very long life. His eyes are soft, but you know what hides within him. He’s angry that you’re refusing him. 

“I beg your pardon?” He moves toward you with the kind of grace you’ve only ever seen a Shadow Summoner possess. It’s as if he moves with the shadows. 

“You heard me. I know she’s part of your plan but I don’t care for her.” You don’t admit the insecurity you feel watching him with her. You’re a Tidemaker and she’s the Sun Summoner. The final piece of his puzzle to control the Fold entirely. Sometimes he looks at Alina as if she truly is a Saint. 

“I’m not asking you to care for her. I’m asking you to train her.” You’re really not proud to admit that you’re jealous of her. You’ve been alive for centuries and still, you feel threatened by a whining, little girl. You let him cup your cheek with his hand but it doesn’t change anything for you. Alina will have to train with the others. 

“Don’t force my hand. It won’t end well.” He kisses your forehead with such tenderness, you know that you’ve already lost the argument in advance. You’re his second in command, his right hand, and you can’t deny him. Of course, you’re right when you say that it won’t end well. 10 minutes after she arrives in your private training quarters, you’re fighting the urge to drown her just for the sake of it. 

“How long has Aleksander-”

“I will not be discussing General Kirigan. If you wish to know, ask him.” You signal for her to come at you again but it’s just too easy. The girl has no idea how to pack a punch, and you feel a little better for every slap and punch you hit her with. You know it’s an awful thing to feel, but you’re not hurting her - it’s nothing compared to what the Fjerdans would do to her. 

“Do better,” you say blocking yet another of her attacks. She’s only using half of her strength, but you’re not here to let her hold back. The sooner she learns to fight, the sooner you can go back to avoiding her. 

“I think I enjoyed practice with Aleksander more.” She doesn’t understand the impact of what she just said but you see red. He never told he’d been training her. Your hands shake as you manipulate the water from the ewer forcing it down Alina’s throat. She’s drowning in a matter of seconds. 

“What did you just say?” Unfortunately, this is how he finds the two of you. Alina choking on the water you’re controlling. His presence makes you lose focus, and she start coughing up the water immediately. He doesn’t have to say anything for you to know just how angry he is right now. 

“My office. Now.” He helps Alina stand letting her lean on him as they walk out the door. You’re ready to drown yourself rather than face his rage. You just risked the life of his stupid Saint, and you know he’ll berate you for being foolish. But you’re not expecting the level of cruelty when you enter his office. Shadows surrounds you and while they don’t hurt you, you still feel fear kick in.

“It’s not nice to choke on others’ ability, is it?” You keep quiet instead taking a few steps forward. The shadows follow you preventing you from seeing anything. 

“She said you’d been training her already. I don’t like feeling like a fool.” 

“I trained her abilities, not her fighting skills.” It doesn’t make you feel any better because it still means he’s spent days and nights alone with her without bothering to tell you. 

“Let me go.” He doesn’t retract the shadows, but you don’t need to see to feel the water in his body. It’s fun being a Tidemaker when you start thinking about just how much of one’s body consist of water. It’s almost too easy to reach out and grab hold of his lungs. It doesn’t take long before the shadows retreat, and you instantly let go of your hold over his body. You hate fighting with him. 

“I’ll need you to lead a team up North. We’ve got a lead on the stag.” It’s an excuse to send you away, and you both know it. But you’re happy to go. At least, you won’t have to watch him fawn over Alina then. 

“Fine.” It’s the last word you say to him before leaving. None of you expect Fjerdans to find you and actually manage to kill five Grishas as well as take you prisoner. You can only imagine how distraught he’ll be when he hears everyone is dead. But Fjerdans don’t know Small Science, and you do. It’s almost too easy once you slip out of the entrapment they’ve made for Grisha. You take pleasure in their screams, as they run for their lives. Unfortunately, you’ve never been good at showing mercy. 

You’re half dead by the time you make it back to the Little Palace. Fedyor is the first to find you convinced he’s seeing things. 

“We thought you were dead!” he exclaims catching you as you collapse. Later, you’ll find out that there was a ceremony to mourn you and the group of Grishas lost, but right now you’re struggling to focus on Fedyor’s face long enough to realise his mouth is moving. 

“... to the infirmary.” You zoom in on the sound of his voice still not able to catch all of it. At one point, you lose consciousness and when you wake up, he’s sitting right next to your bed in the infirmary. 

“I thought you died.” You’re surprised to see his eyes glistening. He’s never shown this much emotion outside of the privacy of your own quarters. 

“You’re not getting rid of me that easily.” You try to smile but your muscles refuse to respond. Your body is simply too tired. 

“I sent you on that mission. My love, I am truly sorry.” No part of you feels angry with Aleksander. You’re just happy to be back with him. 

“It’s not the first time Fjerdans thought they could kill me,” you say earning a tiny smile from him. You don’t even care about Alina anymore. You just need to feel his warmth surround you in every way. He must sense your need somehow, because he crawls into bed with you wrapping his arms around you. 

“We have about 20 minutes before the guards return.” You snuggle up even closer closing your eyes. 

“I love you, Aleksander Morozova.” 

“I love you more.” 

[husbandohunter]

The Calamity in our Stars [Sentient AU! Genshin Impact x Isekai!Reader] Part 1

Synopsis: Knowing all of the events of Genshin Impact you were sucked into their world with the power of awareness. Anyone who touches your hand will realize the truth, breaking the fourth wall.

(When the guys find out they're in a video game)

Characters: Diluc, Kaeya Albedo

Heads up: a bit lore heavy

"Dear anon who requested this, I accidentally deleted your ask when trying to remove the unfinished version!!! But I remember your sentences, big brain scenarios are so much fun to write, thank you for your request~"

====================

~Introduction~

In the world of Teyvat, the sky was a lie and the frauds were the gods. History repeats the story of mankind's arrogation and how it knows no limits stemmed by their unquenchable thirst for knowledge. Hence, to protect the heavens, the gods concealed the truth as much as they could. 

‘Twas the will of the Supreme Ruler that commanded all of Khaenri’ah to be punished with the power of every divine for breaking their laws. The gods did it for peace but what is peace in lies and destruction? Peace is an illusion, a dreamland-- and those who once dreamt of dreaming were determined to shatter through it’s deceitful walls. 

Two stars hailing from worlds afar, together they were inseparable, now they stand on opposite ends. The first being Lumine, she who woke up into the fall of Khaenri’ah five centuries ago has claimed the Abyss under her rule. She led the mages and waged war against humanity, her heart too broken to recognize hope once more. Lumine did it for justice yet her actions only brought more injustice to the innocent civilians living in Freedom’s city. She will continue to create nightmares across the lands, with her own hands, as if, trying to bury the naivety she used to have. Justice for unjust. If she can’t be happy, if her people can’t be happy, then no one else deserves to be happy either. 

Then there was Aether, the fortunate twin, the star who still kept his light. He pursues a path full of righteousness and fights for those in need. Despite the glory he earned, Aether only had one simple wish-- to see Lumine again, his precious other half. And when he did, he looked into her golden eyes to see all that he couldn’t. Aether slayed many dangerous beasts, defeated an ancient god, saved Liyue and saved all of mankind, however, he couldn’t save a broken heart. What did she experience that changed her so much? Why was she so adamant about destroying the heavens? If he had to travel to the ends of the earth to understand the pain she went through then he would do it in a heartbeat. He will do anything to bring back that luminous glow which once danced in her eyes. All for Lumine, everything for his sister.

Through your computer screen you watched the whole scenario play out between the siblings, from start to finish, after ten years Mihoyo finally decided to draw the conclusion to their story. Like their previous games it was always a tragic ending. The hero falls in front of the Supreme Ruler, bleeding all over as he grabs onto his sword for support. She smiles down at him sinisterly with a dark orb pulsing by her fingertips and says,

"At last, your journey ends here outlander. It was a mistake for you to try and defy our laws."

Your heart beats loudly in your chest, a hand gripping tightly around your mouse in anticipation. Over the course of time you've grown to love each and every character. Their sadness was your sadness and their joy was your joy. You couldn't help but feel useless while watching Aether struggle in his final moments. Despite all that he went through, was this his outcome? Is this all you could do?

"No…" the blonde boy denies, "What Lumine said, I think I understand now. She wasn't doing it to kill you, she was doing it to protect us," his voice cracks at the mention of his sister's name, "But you killed her…!"

The Supreme Ruler, Asmoday, remained indifferent to the boy's grief. The same expression she had when she took Lumine's life.

"That's why I'm going to put an end to this cycle, not for me. For her," Aether declared, the hilt of his held sword shaking in the process, "I'm going to reweave the strings of fate and break through these walls. Even if it erases my existence."

Your eyes burst open. Aether turned his head. Gold. He was looking directly your way.

I'm counting on you.

With a roar from his mouth, Aether channels all his energy into the sky and forms a crack in it's void. The space around you begins to spiral out of control simultaneously. No time to protest and no time to scream, you were sucked into your computer with nothing but your clothes. The air whips around your face from the impact of the deafening force of gravity as you were falling right into a river.

Starfell Lake's river.

Coughing a few times you climbed upon the cliffs, "What...on earth," and saw a familiar city in front of you. It's beauty was breathtaking, something you've always wished to see up close, until you remembered where you came from, "Mondstadt? Wait! This can't be."

And that's when you realized that you were thrown into a world against your will and the only way out was to finish what was started.

{Diluc}

Fate was something Diluc thought bore no meaning when life was meant to be taken by one's own hands. He sincerely believed he already found his own purpose, fighting against evil while living for the sake of surviving and abandoning things that were deemed unnecessary even at the cost of his own happiness. Diluc wanted to find meaning in all his misfortunes, knowing that only those who triumph through darkness can see the dawn.

Henceforth, the sun arrives. When he reached the top of Starnatch Cliff, Diluc saw you for the very first time. Like a sighing breath the wind cascades along your hair as you turn around slowly, your wondrous gaze taking his. It’s Diluc, the Darknight Hero!!! He couldn’t understand your prolonged staring, though he was guilty of it as well. You had a distinct aura that he couldn’t describe through words, your eyes were distant like the galaxies itself with a little bit of enigma. He was good at judging first impressions, a skill he developed through his lone ventures and among the prestigious people he met, you were the only one who was able to entrance him in a single glance.

Erm, what should I say? A greeting? How do you greet someone in Teyvat...you scattered your brain for any references you could find and formed an eloquent yet awkward sentence, “Greetings good sir, how do you do today!”

Diluc returns his signature unimpressed look. You sweatdropped, remembering that he was the type to dislike idle chit chat. But before you could leave the conversation, he adds in and tells you, “Nothing to complain about. However, I have never seen anyone in Mondstadt wearing your kind of attire. Where are you from?”

Ah, he was suspicious of you. Very much like Diluc indeed.

Although Diluc intended to keep an eye on you, as he would on any unfamiliar figure that could be a potential threat, he easily falls prey to your unparalleled friendliness. Most people would shy away from the Master Diluc as his atmosphere can be suffocating at times but you treat him like anyone else, like he wasn’t a noble to begin with. You somehow knew exactly what to say during the times he needed to hear those words the most. About his father, about his life. It was as if you understood him, completely, even more than himself.

In return he looks at you with reverence. Perhaps you were an old childhood friend he had long forgotten. What other can explain this deep rooted connection he felt? Or perhaps there is a possibility that fate did exist after all.

But in a way you were just as distant. While you were so open to knowing the world around you, your face still hid a glimpse of a lost soul trying to find something, especially when you looked at the stars. Diluc couldn’t help recognize that similar emotion. Like sailing through the unknown sea, trying to find a lighthouse, a destination, questioning why you were here in the first place. Just like he was questioning all his events. Why were you so hesitant when talking about your home? Why did you seem sad when mentioning where you received your powers? Why do you always flinch as he tries to hold your hand? Didn’t you tell him that you also felt the same way?

“I’m sorry Diluc,” you sadly apologized, remembering what Dainsleif said in his collected miscellany, if Diluc saw what he saw and what you saw then it would most definitely shake his resolve. Even so the guilt of lies eventually consumes you, “You deserve to know the truth.”

When you cupped your soft hands over his calloused ones, a wave of memories flash through his head. All the things he couldn’t understand, now he knows why. He finally found the answer to everything he ever questioned in the cruelest, devastating and defeating way possible.

His life was a game.

Diluc leans against the wall in quiet exasperation, clutching his red locks against his face, the frightened man says, “All of this...for nothing?”

Nothing. Nothing was his reply. Nothing to gain in his suffering-- the experience between his adopted brother and him nor was there any significance in his father’s sacrifice. The reason why you acted the way you were was because he was just a character in a setup for someone’s own selfish entertainment. That his feelings didn’t matter to begin with. Did they ever matter? He already tried to discard them a long time ago but they rushed back like drowning in the stormy sea, blood pulsing through his veins as his expression switched from disbelief to anger. Every thought and every comforting advice you’ve said was because…

“You knew about this,” he whispered, disheartened. His trust broken, mind awoken as he kept the words that were left unspoken. Because he still cared about you regardless even if: you’re one of them.

“No I-” I didn’t mean to. Your mouth stops short before spilling out your sentence. Was that really felt? Or a veil to live in a dreamland? The purpose of playing a game was to entertain yourself, the more the characters went through turmoil the more interesting the story became. Did you really care about Diluc? Or you pitied him because he was a tragic hero and you thought you could save him just to satisfy your own worth as a self-proclaimed hero?

Since then Diluc was never the same again. He was once a passionate man holding justice and value close to his heart. Now as if the flames had been stamped out, he acted indifferently. He questioned everything, the denial in him searching for a spark yet not even a flicker. That his venture through the darkness did not end with dawn, there was no dawn, only infinite nothingness.

Diluc knew one solution to all of this-- revenge. To the false gods who brought upon his misfortunes and those sentient beings that stringed it all together. And you. You? A part of him still reasons that it wasn’t entirely your fault as you were also a victim to their cause but he couldn’t be too sure anymore. He couldn’t trust anyone. He was torn apart and nothing could fix that.

Sometimes you wonder if what Aether did was the right decision. If he truly believed that only the truth would set you free. But then why did it trap you in a prison of regret?

{Kaeya}

Kaeya denies fate, continuously, with every breath he takes. But fate does not deny him.

He wondered if he ever had a choice in life. The Prince of Khaenri’ah wears his crown like chains made of bones and flesh, out from his dead ancestors who failed to exact their vengeance. You are our last hope, the weight of his father’s palm rests upon his head when he said those dutiful words, a reminder of who he is. Kaeya became stranded alone in this vast land of freedom. Freedom. Does that mean he was free? No, his hoe never left him to begin with, it stays in his mind, it echoes through the last memory of his father, it runs in his veins. Freedom was a wish, a dream and like his ancestors, he was cursed to continue dreaming of this dream.

That is why Kaeya lives everyday through short pleasures and alcohol as if they were a daring adventure. He cared less of the consequences that came with it. Everything was going to be temporary anyways so mind as well enjoy them while they last.

Behind the screen you always took the initiative to search for the Cavalry Captain but the current situation demands a different outcome. He was meant to be avoided. Kaeya is capable of great intelligence and the last thing you wanted was for him to find out that you were a suspicious visitor with no identifiable background roaming near the Favonius Headquarters. Though your presence was quite noticeable due to the attire you wore and somehow he found his way over to your space in his usual sneaky manner.

“Ah what a pleasant surprise. You must be the new traveller everyone in Mondstadt has been talking about these days,” Kaeya speaks charmingly, a singular eye sharpening out of mischief, “What brings you here? Certainly it must be tiring to venture off from your distant homeland.”

Amusement is what had drawn him to you. He found you hard to read and your actions unpredictable, Kaeya wanted to make a game out of it. How long will it take for that mask of yours to break until your true self has been revealed? After all, everyone hides behind a mask in one way or another, in order to survive. He knew that better than anyone. It was how he lived his whole life. It was what he, himself, had to do in order to survive.

Because everything that happened to his past relationship with Diluc was shattered from the truth.

Then why is he so obsessed with revealing others?

Well, misery loves company.

But in your company Kaeya made the mistake of allowing himself to get too involved. The heart wants what it wants no matter how much he tries to shield it away. Like a delectable drink he fell deeply into the spell of intense infatuation, the way you showed yourself without remorse. Oftentimes he would take advantage of someone’s spilled secrets however he couldn’t bring himself to do the same here. You were similar to him, that you both share a burdened responsibility. He could hear it in your tone, he could tell by your body language and he could catch the hidden remarks of what he assumes to be about your homeland. Just like him, you were trying to find ways to distract yourself from your responsibilities. Unlike him, you did it in ways that he would have never thought of. Your eyes still held hope for a brighter future which expanded to the horizon he couldn’t even see. You believed through every turmoil there was a light at the end of the tunnel and like a moth to a flame, he was drawn to your light.

The warmth of your hand he takes, became one of his worst decisions later on.

“Ha…”

Staggering back, Kaeya simply laughs, mouth parting to reveal a set of brilliant white teeth. He knew it. All of the events happening in his life, every single one of them were stringed together for some grand scheme. He constantly wondered, why did the stars choose him? And for what reason? To be a hero? Or a villain? To be anything at the very least just no this. Kaeya was relieved that he finally had some sort of answer but at the same time, distraught to know he was a means to an end. He once thought he would be stuck in a long battle against fate. Though it seems fate had already won the game.

You never saw Kaeya again. Or rather, he chose to keep his distance again.

The Cavalry Captain spends his days in deep thought while sipping his drink. Even Diluc began worrying to the point he pushed himself to approach his brother despite not being on very good terms. Instead of answering him, Kaeya pushes him away, noticeably, it was unlike his usual slick manner. The truth had always damaged Kaeya and he should have known better to cut ties with you sooner before the whole thing happened. Was there any point in carrying out his father’s will? Was there any point in being a spy? Was there....any point in thinking of an answer to all his questions?

For the first time in the longest he cries. The man drops to his knees before hunching forward, letting his tears stain the floor. Someone must be watching behind the screen as he was in this pathetic state, someone must be writing his next move and every outcome. It didn't matter to him anymore. Kaeya already gave up long ago.

{Albedo}

What is the truth of the universe?

To Albedo, the question was not only a formula that must be solved but served as the last memory of his Master before she left him alone. Eventually, that memory became the center of his universe.

Who am I? What am I? Why am I here?

Albedo observed the branch in his grasp. Plants grow when they are nurtured by the sun and children grow as their parents guide them through life’s experiences. Nature and nurture. The law he didn’t belong in. Just like the leyline branch he held he was a force created by unnatural usage of alchemy, however, a part of him yearns for that companionship. Perhaps this was the reason why he was so obsessed with the universe? His Master had high expectations over Albedo whenever she gave him an assignment and would leave if he were to fail. Hence completing his task would prompt her to come back. After all, any child wants the presence of their parent and Albedo was no exception to that.

The alchemist relentlessly searches. Even obtaining some achievements and high praise from the Knights but none of that mattered to him when his purpose was greater than the tasks they had given. He went through every book, every place, every trench of Dragonspine’s wrath. Still, he couldn’t find the answer. Albedo would sometimes ponder that his Master purposely gave him an impossible assignment as an excuse of some sort. Not to abandon him but allow him the freedom to choose what it means to live a happy life. Yet a part of him believed he may never see her again because to this day, Albedo struggles to understand what a happy life is.

In the middle of his predicament, he stumbles upon your arrival.

“You carry the aura of the stars.”

There was no fooling him. Albedo immediately knew you were an outlander coming from a world that carries all his answers.

Chalk pursues gold, you recall what Dainsleif once said in the prophecy readings. If Albedo were to know too much then he’ll turn into the monster that once threw Khaenri’ah and all its people into dismay using his creations. So you refrained from telling him, thinking that you could change his fate and save him from that ending.

Of course, Albedo did not understand. Whatever caught his attention he was persistent to break it down. There was a time where he was close to bribing you with the possibility of helping you find your home but even to that offer, you resisted. Who would’ve thought a person can be so stubborn under no given reason. He felt somewhat irritated for once. Though, as an alchemist, Albedo knew there was a process for everything and he figured that he had to gain your trust first before diving into details.

It wasn’t as easy as it seemed.

So much effort was involved in connecting with people. How do you gain someone’s trust? Albedo consulted with Sucrose: it comes naturally. He went to the Acting Grandmaster for help: assist with the intent to care. He asked several more people he knew and they all boiled down to one principle: humanity. But what does it take to be human?

The more Albedo spent time with you, he somehow discovered a little more about himself. Like him, you also had no one to tell you or guide you through your journey as you searched for the reason why you were here. It was a lonely task, he knew that much when he realized how distant he grew from the others when he became too indulged in his research. At first loneliness was only a word by definition to describe his standpoint, now loneliness was a feeling when he looked at you. And it was through that loneliness he found what companionship meant-- to connect.

So he connects his hand with yours and knowledge consumes him.

The truth of this universe...is all just a game.

Just a game.

Albedo’s mind draws a blank as his eyes stare into space. Is that it? Throughout all his trial and errors, the effort he put in and the relentless hours to no rest for such an anticlimactic answer? This brand new feeling of awareness brought him to question himself, what role does he play as one of the key characters in the game? Why did the creators make him a monster in the first place? How did they create all this?

“Master, I have completed the assignment you gave me. About the truth of this universe it wasn’t what I expected to be,” he says to himself, red and purple veins pulsing around his body as he was transforming.

You couldn’t bear to look at him. It was too late. He went too far to be saved.

Within the last moments you slowly walked towards the alchemist, wrapping your arms around him in a solemn manner.

“I’m sorry that your Master left you like this.”

He finally understands the meaning behind his existence. What it means to feel, shed tears and be human. Why he was so fixated on a single goal. Master Rhinedottir was his only kin and all he wanted was to see her again. Hence he returns to your embrace, whispering that everything will be okay and that he has no regrets.

[swtorramblings]

Second Chances-4: The Root of the Problem

Root instructing Claudia in her new reality, while the Machine watches, by @fleeting-sanity​.

Second Chances chapter list

Claudia shattered the Staff of the Sun Elves, denying its power to her father, and has found herself in another world, a strange world. Our world. A world with its own dangers.

The calculations were out of joint. There were always unexpected events, anomalies, but these were unprecedented. The Machine had no numbers, no predictions, no way of calculating their impact.

She predicted, though, that it would be severe. People don’t suddenly appear without being significant. The only real question was whether their effect would be positive or negative.

She was in the middle of a call. She didn’t really want to end it, but there was work to do.

“Sorry, sweetie, I’ve got a job. You’re probably going to be busy, too.”

She disconnected, then thought about what she would say, how she would present herself, and left the apartment. It probably didn’t matter, this number was a wild card, there was no way to plan around her, not really. Still, the video showed she was confused, but curious. Perhaps eager to learn. She might be able to work with that.

She’d have to hurry, there were already reports going to the police about the odd girl, she’d be picked up soon.

---

Claudia was still staring at herself in the glass when she heard the strange sound, a kind of warbling scream. Then she saw the flashing lights down the great road as the, what were they? Carts? Carts would do. Magical carts swerved around the corner and moved toward her.

Then came the voice. “Run, girl! Run, you can’t let them catch you.” She looked around, trying to find the voice. There was no one on the street, but there was a figure in the glass now that hadn’t been before, pointing towards a nearby passage away from the crowd, away from the smoke spewing things speeding by. Away from danger? She couldn’t be sure.

She ran where she was shown, just as the carts pulled up nearby. She heard what had to be doors opening and a good deal of shouting from behind her. Then the voice again. “Fifth door on your left, fast as you can.”

She glanced over her shoulder at just the wrong moment, tripping into a metal cylinder filled with waste, her tattered robes now soaked with filth from what spilled out. She got to her feet and began counting the doors.

She got to the door and pushed it open, ducking inside and closing it behind her, locking it with the voice’s help in the dark. She heard the, she supposed, city guard in the alley, searching. Then they were at the door.

“Oh, don’t worry, they won’t come in unless you give them a reason to.” She opened her mouth to answer, but the voice shushed her, so she sat alone in the dark. She felt like crying but didn’t. She couldn’t, not in front of the voice. Below the voice? Behind the voice? Whatever.

She woke with a start. It was quiet and even darker. The much had dried, leaving her robes and hair a sticky mess. “OK, it’s dark, the police are gone, are you awake enough to move?”

She nodded, wondering if that was enough. It was. “Good. Do what I tell you and soon you’ll be safe. Safer, anyway. And maybe you can get clean.” She followed her benefactor’s instructions. She could see it was nighttime, and there was less activity, but it was still bright enough to see clearly, strange torches hanging overhead.

This was all she had wanted. For humans to have the power of magic. This was good, wasn’t it?

Soon, she was directed to a rusted metal gate. She pushed it aside and stepped through.

A woman appeared at the door ahead, beckoning her. She spoke with a familiar voice. “I thought you’d never get here.”

Claudia stepped toward the stranger, looking for a trap, not sure she cared if it was one. She was tired and lost. But she finally asked, not who are you, but the more important question. “What do you want with me?”

“Oh, I don’t know yet! It’s exciting, isn’t it? But come inside, we went through a lot of trouble to get you here.”

Claudia stepped inside. There wasn’t anything else to do. “Why do you have the same voice?”

The woman grinned. “That’s complicated. It’s my voice. Could you hear me?”

“Yes?”

“Great! Let’s get you cleaned up, get you some fresh clothes, and then we’ll talk.”

---

Claudia came out, cleaner than she ever thought she would be again, soap and hot water and something called a luffa washing it all away. The clothes were comfortable, maybe a bit itchy. She went and sat and waited for the strange woman.

“Hey, there, girl,” she said with false cheer. She seemed friendly, but Claudia found something there that frightened her. “You can call me Root, and you’re messing with our algorithms.”

She blinked, hesitated, and all she could say was, “What?”

“This is going to take a while, isn’t it?”

“What’s going to take a while?”

“Your education.”

She thought that sounded like a challenge. “I’m a fast learner.”

“You’d better be.” Root gestured at a slender piece of metal on the table nearby.“This is for you.”

She picked it up, examined it, and found it unfolded, revealing a set of rune-carved keys on one half, and a flat surface of some sort on the other. “Some sort of puzzle? A way of doing magic in your world?”

“Magic? Some people think so. I hope you can do better. You can hear her, so we can work with that, but hope is never something to count on.”

And then Claudia began to learn a new magic, indeed, but not Dark, instead  made of points of light.