#and yet never managed to revive the one person hes been chasing for almost all of his adult life

[shanklin]

Fankenstan AU but instead of Ford trying to revive Stan, it's that one IRS agent from Stans funeral who told Stans coffin "this isn't over"

[seresinhangmanjake]

Different is Better

Tyler Owens x Reader

Summary: Javi invites your ex back with Storm Par amidst the flirtation between you and Tyler. 

Notes/Warnings: This was a combination of requests, so it's not exactly what everyone asked for, but I got it as close as I could, sp hopefully it satisfies in some ways. Allusion to smut. Cursing probably. Scott sucks (sorry to the Scott lovers), Javi sucks a little too (sorry to the Javi lovers).

Words: 2850

Tyler Owens Masterlist / Main Masterlist / Tag list

The second the Storm Par team finishes settling on the schedule for tomorrow, you remove yourself from the rest of the chasers in the parking lot, Wranglers included, and press your back into the outer wall of the motel. Perfectly out of sight and free to feel how you want without judgment.

You can’t breathe around him. You can’t think properly. And damn him for fucking loving it. Damn the smirk that slices into your skin. Damn fucking Javi for requesting his participation on the team after swearing up and down that he wouldn’t. Damn him for not warning you, forcing you to spend the last half-hour since his arrival in wild discomfort.

It had been so good without him. The best chasing you’d done in years. Relaxing, free from tension despite the chaos of rolling into the heart of unpredictable weather. In his absence, you chased with excitement; you chased with that tingly zingy feeling in your gut; you chased with a pounding heart, with hands shaky not from nerves but from raw, untainted energy shooting throughout your entire body. 

The last two months of chasing renewed your love of the craft and proved more than anything that Scott has been—and still is—a soul-sucking, life-draining leech….to you, anyway. 

But everyone already loves him, just short of instantly obsessed with him, especially the females of the group who neglect that ‘award-winning’ personality he’s managed to display in only thirty-two minutes. Shamefully, it almost makes you wish the team Javi assembled had fewer young college girls and a heck of a lot more mature, determined women. They would easily see past his looks and recognize that his intelligence does not surpass that of anyone else on the team. He is not some rare, fascinating, genius savior who has come to solve all of the data-collecting problems the team’s been having; he’s just an extra helping hand that, frankly, you firmly believe you don’t need. 

But no…as has been the case each time you’ve worked together since you ended your little college fling—or whatever the fuck it was—he gets to be Mr. Perfect, and you’re stuck as the angsty bitch who whines over him being here. 

“So…that’s the guy, huh?” Tyler asks as he rounds the corner and joins you under the cover of near-darkness. 

He practically shines under the damaged streetlamp’s thin, flickering light. You’re not looking at him, but you don’t have to be to see that much clearly. He glows in your peripherals, and with another step closer to you, your heartbeat stumbles within your ribcage. 

Tyler is the one thing you credit for reviving you. What started as a less-than-friendly rivalry changed when you accepted a challenge to chase with his crew one day, and though Javi was displeased, you were too curious about Tyler’s methods to turn him down. 

With one ride in his truck, the spark you thought had long died reignited. Now you have a respect for Tyler that the rest of your team does not. Respect…and a bit more. 

Though you would never abandon your team, you became increasingly hooked on the idea of chasing with Tyler again, and it was so stupidly obvious. And with that obviousness, an unspoken essence of sorts developed between you. A forbidden attraction you’re both aware of but have yet to fully act on, though not for lack of trying.

You take turns almost breaking that final barrier—heavy breathing, noses nearly brushing, lips a hairs-width away from connecting, but something always gets in the way: his team, yours, the weather. But not this time. Cock-block of the day? Scott Miller. 

Tyler’s eyes stay on your cheek as he stuffs his hands into his front jean’s pockets. “I didn’t know that was your type.”

When you look at Tyler, your brows knit at the disappointment on his face. He offers a smile, but it’s far less convincing than what he is capable of, like he didn’t even bother trying to give you one of his good ones. And you’ve seen a good smile from Tyler Owens. It can knock anyone off their feet. 

“It isn’t,” you tell him as you turn your attention back to the miles of grass in front of you. At night, under such little light, the eye gets tricked and the blades blend into a vast span of blackness, like a giant hole in the ground just a few feet away. One you might consider jumping into it if you could. 

“I mean, it was,” you continue, “but not anymore.”

He nods. “You have to work close with him?” he asks, though he already knows the answer.

“Unfortunately.”

Tyler blows out a breath. His hand runs through his hair before his head falls back against the brick wall of the motel, eyes closed and chin tilted toward the night sky. 

“Fuck,” he mutters. 

“Yea.”

Cicadas fill the following silence. Lightning bugs sprinkle throughout the space around you, thriving in the intense humidity that adds a thin sheen to your skin. You can see him thinking. Questioning. His fingers tap against his clothed thigh and your stomach clenches with dread. The last thing you want—the thing that would crush you—is Tyler sizing up whether or not you are worth the trouble of an ex even cockier than he is and more arrogant than you once believed him to be. One thing Tyler and Scott have in common: the adoring attention from young women. You’ve heard the stories from Lilly and Boone, and at any point, Tyler could tip his hat in adieu and return to his many fans to seek the encounters you’ve been hoping to share with him.  

Tyler turns his head to you. “You still like him? At all?”

“No,” you answer, trying not to be offended by the question he has a right to ask. To you, it’s absurd, insulting. To him, it’s covering his bases and understanding what, if anything, he is getting in between by pursuing you, or considering pursuing you. “The way he approaches relationships mimics the way he approaches chasing,” you continue. “Controlling, nit-picky, demanding. I couldn't stand it.” He’s nothing like you, you want to say, but for some reason, don’t.

Your heart’s discomfort eases with the slow spread of a smile across his face. You step toward him. “Look, Tyler, I know we haven’t really talked about us, but I–”

“There you are. I was starting to think I ran you off.”

The intruding voice snatches your attention and Tyler immediately pushes off the wall, positioning himself closer to your side. “I'm not sure you're threatening enough for that,” he says. 

Scott smirks, one eyebrow arching. “And you are?”

“Tyler,” he says, reaching out his hand in a play-nice gesture. “Owens.”

Realization dawns on Scott. “Oh, of course,” he replies, a mocking grin forming as he accepts the handshake. When he takes his hand back, he crosses his arms and cocks his head to the side. “Your reputation precedes you. How many followers have you managed to stack up by playing around for entertainment?”

“Subscribers,” Tyler corrects. “A mil.”

“Must be validating after failing to make it professionally.”

Your gut twists, fists almost clenching, but you restrain yourself from showing his effect on you. “That’s not why he does what he does,” you scold your ex sternly. Tyler’s head whips to you. You can just barely detect the gentle smile on his face. 

Scott hums, nonchalantly advancing closer to hover over you. His eyes penetrate like lasers into yours. “You know, you should really think before you fraternize. You wouldn’t want to make us look bad,” he says, running a knuckle down your cheek. You flinch away from his touch and he grins. “That’s all,” he says. “Good night, you two” And then he turns on his heel and returns from where he came. 

“Charming,” Tyler sarcastically snips. “I see the appeal.”

—

He fucking left you behind. 

You were trying to finish up his job after he failed to properly secure Javi’s tech, but as you were doing so, the tornado’s size grew and its speed picked up and it was headed right for you. Scott screamed at you, panicked in a way you’ve never heard before, but when you weren’t quick enough for his liking, he slammed your door and drove off, leaving you to looming disaster. 

If not for Tyler, you’d be dead. He spotted you in his crew’s attempt to flee, and though it was an insane risk, he came for you, leaping out of his truck and grabbing you as he yelled for Boone to take the wheel. 

He practically threw you into the back seat before crawling in after you and wrapping your shivering body in his arms.

“Tyler, man, I don’t know if we’re gonna be able to outrun it!” Boone called back, eyes darting between the blurry road in front of him and the rearview mirror. 

“Then drill us into the fucking ground!”

And that’s where you stayed, huddled together, your face in his neck as the storm tried to tear you apart. 

—

Are you out of your fucking mind!” Tyler shouts, stomping through the parking lot of the motel refuge. 

To your relief, the small, aged structure was out of the tornado's path, if just barely, and in the aftermath, the owner offered free rooms to those in need. Except for Boone, who holds you steady as Tyler storms off, the Wranglers pass out whatever shirts and food they have available, providing what comfort they can.

Javi inserts himself between Tyler and Scott, his hands up to keep Tyler back. “Woah, woah, calm down.”

“He could’ve fucking killed her!”

Javi’s concerned brow settles from shock. “W-What?” he asks. “What are you talking about?”

Tyler’s as vicious as a lion, his teeth bared, claws out as he tries to side-step Javi to get to Scott, who has backed up a step. “He left her out there!”

You can see the Adam’s apple bob in your ex’s throat. His composure is on edge. He’s never been called out before, not even by you. “She was being stupid.”

“She was doing your job!”

Scott scoffs as Javi blinks, trying to adjust to the rapid-fire information being thrown at him. He’s never been good at an onslaught of facts, needing that adjustment period for things to properly sink in. He’s careful that way. It’s his methodical mind. He takes his time with his planning, and that extends past his inventions. “Look, everyone’s safe. Everyone’s tired. Let’s just get some rest and we can deal with this tomorrow.”

“You’re letting him stay? After what he did?”

“Right now, no one has anywhere to go,” Javi explains, and though true, it doesn’t mean Scott has to remain here now that the threat is gone. Javi’s eyes dart past Tyler’s shoulder to your shaken form. He sighs an exhale that deflates his entire chest, his eyes close, and he shakes his head. He brought this on. He knows it. Scott was a mistake, and while it wasn’t Javi who put you in danger, you don’t mind him absorbing some of the guilt of what happened. “Just…take care of her.”

Tyler huffs and says, “That’s more than you people do,” before turning around and coming for you. Boone passes you off with a nod. Tyler’s arm goes around your body, his hand rubbing up and down your bicep. You wonder where he stored the rage so quickly, but you appreciate that he didn’t set any of it aside for you. After all, you’re the reason he almost died. You’re the reason his friend almost died. Just because it was not a potential consequence of your choices, the stress of near death can keep anyone on edge. But not Tyler, apparently. He has other priorities.

“Come on,” Tyler says. “Let’s get you cleaned up.” And he guides you to your room, the very same one you’ve been tempted to invite him to since your first chase together. You didn’t imagine this was how he would come to join you.

—

Tyler’s jaw slackens when you exit the bathroom in a small towel that barely covers your body, and he quickly rises from where he is sitting at the end of your mattress, wiping his palms on his jeans as if to remove the moisture collected there. His eyes go wide, but they can’t seem to meet yours, his green orbs trailing up and down your body. 

“They’re a bit short,” you tell him.

“Yea, I, uh,” His hand runs over his hair down to his neck. “I know,” he says, instantly conjuring the image of a bare Tyler, water droplets covering his skin, a measly towel wrapped around his waist held together by one hand; a hand that, if removed, would cause the towel to drop to the ratty carpeting. “Do you, um…you need anything? I can try to get you–”

“No,” you stop him. “I’m alright.” A beat passes, and then he nods and blows out a breath. “Thank you, for saving me. You didn’t have to risk yourself like that.”

His eyes find yours then. “You can’t possibly think that I wouldn’t.”

“I know you’re kinder than most. Braver than most. But you’re not stupid, and saving me was a bit–”

“Don’t say that. I’d do it again,” he says. When he steps toward you, the towel suddenly feels much smaller. You feel exposed under his gaze, but to your surprise, not embarrassed. Scott had a way of making you feel less than in what seemed like a thousand different ways, but not Tyler. His eyes marvel. “And again.”

You take a deep breath, releasing it slowly out your nose. 

“Are you still shaken up?” Tyler asks you. 

You shake your head. “Not really.”

He stops directly in front of you. “Can I finally kiss you then?”

Your lips part. The towel falls, not necessarily with intention, but you can’t hold the thing up and wrap your arms around his neck at the same time. And, right now, one is more important than the other. 

Tyler tastes like the cola from your fridge that he must’ve had while he waited for you in the shower. His teeth nibble at your bottom lip, and you open for him. His hands settle on your bare waist for what seems like all of two seconds before they’re sliding lower, squeezing flesh, and pulling you in closer. Your fingers pick at the buttons of his shirt, the first few coming free. 

“You sure about this?” is muffled out between kisses.

You pull apart just long enough to say yes before you’re kissing him again, helping him out of his clothes, and falling into bed together. 

—

A knock wakes you. You turn over under Tyler’s arm and, careful not to wake him, rise from the bed. You grab his shirt off the nearby chair and pull it over your head, then slip on some sleep shorts before heading for the door. 

Javi smiles when he sees you, a sense of relief allowing the muscles to release their tension in his body. “Hey,” he says before his eyes fall down to your—Tyler’s—shirt. He raises a brow. 

You shrug. “I like him.”

Javi clicks his tongue. A modest sign of disapproval. “Right, well…I just came by to apologize and let you know that I kicked Scott off the team. He left about an hour ago.”

You hum in acknowledgment. At least you’ll avoid the drama of your ex figuring out you ‘fraternized’ with the leader of the other team. Being storm chasers, dramatics runs through your blood, and it’s not as if Tyler would shy away from any remarks Scott may throw at him or you, but this just happens to be one issue you’d rather not waste the energy on. It’s not his business, anyway.

“Thanks, Javi.”

“I really am sorry,” he says. “I never would’ve imagined he’d–”

“I know. Me either.”

Javi sighs in the silence that follows, then he says, “You sure about Owens?”

You nod. “I’m sure about Owens.”

“I guess we can’t be on opposite sides then, can we?”

“That would be nice,” you say. Javi gives you another smile. “They’re not so bad. I mean, I know they do stuff…differently, but they don’t leave anyone behind.” When a twinge of guilt flashes across his face, you say, “It wasn’t your fault.”

You can’t tell if he believes that’s how you truly feel, but as you nod in reassurance of that statement, he nods with you. 

“Ok,” he says. 

“Ok,” you repeat, and then with one final grin, Javi disappears down the hall. 

You close the door and strip yourself of the clothes you’d thrown on to get back into bed. Tyler’s still asleep. His breathing is soft, even, comforting, and luckily, your spot beside him has maintained its warmth from where you’d been laying all night. 

“I’m sure about you, too,” he suddenly says, voice groggy and eyes remaining closed. He lifts his arm, and you tuck yourself back into his embrace. 

[marvelmana]

-Mumza goddess of death prompt

TW: suicide attempt

So after Wilbur's revival Dream with his God compex realizes that the power to bring people back to life isn't enough. So while Wilbur prepares to break Dream out of prison, Dream sits down to remember what more was in the revive book. His eyes shoot wide open as he remembers a short but powerful ritual to summon the goddess of death herself.

So after Wilbur breaks him out somehow. Wilbur and Dream are met by the rest of the SBI family. They didn't come together. Tommy came to stop Wilbur and maybe kill Dream. Techno and Phil just came to get Wilbur so Sam doesn't kill him. As always with this family they start arguing and Dream runs away. They follow him to the L'manhole where he manages to preform the full ritual to summon the goddess of death. Now all the others are terrified because they don't know what Dream did. All they know is that the nice and chill night suddenly became the worst storm they've ever experienced and a weird portal looking thing has started to form on the glass. Tommy starts yelling at Dream to stop. Philza aswell because Dream doesn't know what power he's messing with. Dream explains that he knows exactly what power he's messing with and tells them what or...rather who he has summoned. To Dream's surprise everyone but Tommy seems relived that he's summoning the goddess of death. Tommy's worried because he has no idea that he's the son of the goddess. Before any of them manages to say anything a dark figure emerges from the portal with dark wings as she flies up to the night sky. The wind that had made it hard to stay on your feet suddenly stops and the portal disapears. Dream does his evil laughter and then does his evil monologue but gets cut off by the goddess of death striking him down with one hand and pressuring her foot against his neck. Phil watches her and falls in love all over again. But before there can be a wholesome family reunion Tommy draws his sword out and points it at the goddess' neck.

"Who are you!? What do you want!?" He yells demanding answers.

The goddess melts at the sight of her youngest. He's so cute with that diamond sword, thinking he's so cool. When she doesn't answer Tommy gets frustrated and yells at the top of his lungs

"ANSWER ME!!!"

He was meant to intimidate the goddess but his yell only comes out as a broken cry. The goddess' heart breaks as she sees all the pain and frustration in her youngest son's eyes. There's something in his eyes that is not supposed to be there. There's something that's not meant to be seen in the eyes of a 16 year old. Before she can ask, Phil steps forward.

"It's been a long time, love" he says and takes off his hat.

The goddess smiles at her angel.

"About 16 years, but who's counting?" She jokes completely unbothered by the blade at her throat.

Then the twins comes in to have a small talk with their mother. None of them mentions that she's their mother. Tommy slowly takes away his sword and starts backing away. He takes one look at the unconscious green man by the goddess' feet and then at his brothers and father. This is their business. He should get going. He only gets a few steps away when one of his family members ask where he's going. He tells them that he's going home. The issue with Dream seems resolved and they're all busy with and old friend Tommy doesn't know. At first the goddess is confused as to why her youngest doesn't recognise her. But then again. When he left the end he was only a few months old. The twins had been just around 7. The goddess, who's name was Kristin smiles gently at Tommy and slowly walks up to him. She tells him that she's his mother. Tommy looks at his father and brothers who nods confirming. Normally you'd think Tommy would be excited to meet his mum. But when all his family has brought him is pain, he's not excited to see what a new family member who's also a goddess, can do. So he does the most rational thing he can think off. He runs. He runs with fear of his life. Tommy doesn't wanna die again. The mere thought terrifies him. So he runs, hoping to find someone to help him, anyone. Tubbo, Ranboo, Puffy hell he'd even take the help from Sam now. As he runs past his house he looks behind him to see 4 individuals chasing him. He starts screaming for help as he jumps out the edge by the bench with a water bucket in hand. Kristin who doesn't know Tommy's incredible skill with water MLGs panics and dives after him with her wings. She catches Tommy before he reaches the ground. Tommy starts squirming in her grip hoping to get away. Kristin tries to reassure him that she's got him. Tommy begs her not to hurt him. Telling her that he won't get in her way, that if she just lets him go she'll never have to see him again. Kristin feels as someone shot through her heart with an arrow. And she tells Tommy in what she thinks is a comforting voice, that she's never gonna let him go and that he's safe. Tommy's beyond terrified but lucky for him Tubbo and Ranboo is on a walk towards them. Tubbo and Ranboo immediately gets their armour on and orders Kristin to put Tommy down and that if she hurts him, she's gonna regret it. Kristin gets put off guard by the sudden company. Tommy uses that to his advantage and gets out of her grip and runs past Tubbo and Ranboo who's like protecting wall in front of him. Wilbur tells them to fuck off and that it's a family buisness. That just angers Tubbo even more.

"Family buisness!!!?" He yells almost in shock "You gotta be kidding me! Tommy just started healing after everything Dream did to him and after everything YOU did to him!! Why can't you just let him rest!?" Tubbo yells in anger

That's when Kristin's had enough. She demands an explanation and Tubbo just answers "I'm not gonna explain shit. Who do you think you are?" To which Krstin stretches out her wings and says in a lower tone

"I am the goddess of death. Protector of the end. And his mother" she says and looks at Tommy.

Tubbo and Ranboo looks back at Tommy who just shruggs. Because honestly he has no idea if it's true or not. But Tubbo and Ranboo decides to play along. They answer with a bit of attitude what has happened to Tommy since he came to this server. Everything from the disc war, to L'manbrug, to exile, to the egg trying to kill him and then celebrating his death, to what happened in the prison. After everything is explained the goddess of death is furious. She shoots up in the air and Phil has a very troubled face expression. When asked what's wrong he tells them.

"A father's rage is strong enough to conquer the world. But a mother's rage is stronger"

Kristin is mad at the server for driving her family apart and hurting her baby. So with the power within her she pulls up the egg and it's roots, along with the enire prison, Eret with his castle and Dream's unconscious body. The storm comes back, this time with thunder and rain. Tommy sees this and is terrified. But he's also worried about Eret. It's true he wronged him but Eret has changed.

"We gotta stop her!" Tommy yells.

"She's the goddess of death, you can't stop her!" Techno yells.

But it's no use. Tommy grabs Ranboo's trident. He launches himself in the air and jumps from bits of earth and structures in the air. His main focus is to help Eret out. Eret is ready for his doom. He knows he's not been the best person. But before that happens he hears someone call out his name. It's Tommy. Tommy gives Eret the trident and tells him to get out of here. He hears distant screams of the eggpire and the egg. Tommy doesn't care that much for the egg. But as annoying as Badboyhalo is with his no swearing rule, he's a good guy and Tommy do have good memories with the him. So with no trident Tommy jumps between the rising blocks to get to the people. He sees Dream's unconscious body and for a moment he thinks about it but then shakes his head. Dream is not his priority. Tommy doesn't see himself as a hero. But he's not one to simply watch someone die if he can do something about it. Tubbo knows this. He curses when Eret gets down on the ground and tells them what Tommy did for him. Tubbo looks to Ranboo who nods. He brings up a water splash potion and splashes himself. His eyes widen and a foreign language comes out of his mouth. Tubbo grabs ahold of his husband before he can teleport away without him. Ranboo has gone complete silent. If you can even call him Ranboo anymore. Tubbo has only seen Ranboo like this once. It was terrifying since the half enderman hybrid had been walking towards Tubbo's cabin in snowchester where Micheal was. Ranboo had been covered in water scars and yet he wasn't talking. Just calmly walking towards Micheal. Before he could get there though Ranboo collapsed and woke up with no memory of how he got to Tubbo's cabin. So now, on a floating piece of earth, in the eye of the storm Tubbo had to trust whatever this version of Ranboo was. He called for Tommy but got no response. Suddenly the foreign language comes out of Ranboo as he points with his free hand to some egg rootes. Tommy's jumping between the broken peices towards peoplenof the eggpire.

"Let's go and help that idiot out" Tubbo says and Ranboo teleports them behind Tommy.

"What the hell do you think you're doing!?" Tubbo yells which scares Tommy. He turns around and smiles at the sight of maybe the two only people he trusts.

"I could ask you the same!" He yells back to be heard over the load weather.

"We came to help you. Ranboo can you get those guys back on the ground!?" Tubbo yells

Ranboo doesn't say anything but when he teleports closer and grabs badboyhalo and Hannah Tubbo knows he got through to him. Tommy's confused at how strange Ranboo was acting. Ranboo's not much of a fighter but still here he was, standing tall. And how the hell can he teleport without enderpearls? Tommy decides that there's a better time to ask. Instead him and Tubbo keeps the rest of the eggpire safe. During that the egg starts speaking to Tubbo and Tubbo is obviously trying to shut it out but it's hurting him. So once Ranboo gets back Tommy is quick to push his best friend onto his husband and yell at Ranboo to get him to safety. Tubbo doesn't get a chance to object before he's suddenly on the ground again. He struggles against Ranboo and begs his husband to take him back. Tommy knows what's keeping Ranboo from coming back. He can see it. So instead of wasting time, he makes a waterfall with his only waterbucket and puts the rest of the eggpire in it. In his head he repeats the same three words over and over again "Please don't drown". When the people is as safe as they can be in a situation like this Tommy turns to his mother who has definitely grown a couple of feet. Tommy gulps and watches as Dream's body literally explodes in front of his mum's dark eyes.

"Hey!!" He yells and draws his sword again.

Kristin turns to see where the voice comes from and her gace immediately goes soft. But it turns confused when she can't see the rest of the wronguns.

"I'm not gonna let you hurt anyone else!" Tommy says with his blade in front of him

"The mortals needs to be taught a lesson. You'll come to understand when you're older. You're just a mere child" she says calmly

Tommy smirks. He may be young, but he's not stupid. Tommy knows the blade would do nothing to his mother. So he takes a deep breath and holds the sword against his own throat. He doesn't want this. But he won't let his mother hurt people because of him.

"I may be young! But I have seen wars, I have witnessed my best friend's execution, I have been exiled, I have been tortured and somewhat manipulated. I'm not a child anymore!!" He yells

"You wouldn't. I can see the fear in your eyes son. I can feel it. You don't want this" Kristin says but her voice is everywhere as she gets closer to her son.

"I am not a child. I'm a soldier without a mission. Which makes me desperate. So if I have to die to protect them that's something I'll have to do" Tommy says and stares at the eyes of the beast

"I would never hurt your fatber or brothers" Kristin reassures

"I wasn't talking about those idiots. Listen this place is a hell hole! And sometimes it's hard to get out of bed. But you know what!? It's my home. You've just killed the guy who were the source of my problems. You've done enough!!" Tommy yells and pushes the sword closer to his throat. He can feel it slowly digging into his skin. The goddess of death panics and does a quick movement with her finger and before Tommy knows it he's flying in the air, unable to move an inch. His sword is still in his hand but he can feel an invisable force trying to take it from him.

"Tommy. Drop it!" Kristin hisses

Tommy won't drop it. He could see the fear in her eyes once the blade was pressed against his throat. If he could just move his arm he could put the sword back at his throat. But he can't the force pulling away his sword is strong. But Tommy's always been a fighter. He actually manages to withstand the force but doesn't notice the goddess shrinking in sice and flying up to him to grab the sword herself. After taking the sword she throws it down and stares at her youngest. One thing's for sure, her family is not safe here.

Good ending: Tommy and the others talks Kristin down and she goes back to the end but visits every now and then

Bad ending: Kristin sees how much this place is hurting her baby and the rest of her family. So she takes them to the end where they can't leave. Phil would've been able to, if it wasn't for one of his wings being broken.

[mymostimaginaryfriend]

one inch from the edge of this bed

♛ 5x01: James dreams about Teresa. (1.6k words; rating Mature: language, violence, sexual situations) tags: james can have some magical realism as a treat, morphine is a helluva drug

 ➢ read on ao3 or below the cut:  

(note: I originally wrote this as part of a longer story about James’ journey to reunite with Teresa, so for the purpose of this drabble, morphine is making him forget he’s already seen her...cool? cool. thanks for reading!)

♛

James rarely sleeps deeply enough to dream. What starts as a coping mechanism in his childhood only gets cemented further by the military. Now no matter how tired he becomes, he can never quite turn off that last light in the back of his head. It’s for the best, probably. The things he’s seen—the shit he’s done. Who knows what nightmare would crawl out of the well of his subconscious if given half the chance.

The rare times he does dream, he’s usually able to wake himself up within a matter of seconds. It’s automatic now, like he’s rewired a shortcut in his brain. By the time he opens his eyes the dream is nothing more than a faint memory skipping across the surface of his mind without ever dropping an anchor.

The big, bad assassin and his built-in night light. He’d laugh if he didn’t count it as yet another valuable weapon in his arsenal.  It’s not like he doesn’t know this concession by his personal demons is only a layaway plan. Whatever he doesn’t pay for now will come due at least ten times over later.

Still, when he opens his eyes to see morning light filtered through breeze-stirred curtains, he doesn’t catch on right away. It’s not the sunshine that tips him off or the softness of the bed. It’s not the light breeze wafting through the open window, or even the dip of the mattress behind him.

It’s a sense of peace he hasn’t known in nearly a year. It’s the sound of her hushed voice, whispering his name.

“Don’t hide from me,” she says. “I know you’re awake.”

His heart leaps then plummets at the smile he hears in her words, sweet joy chased by sick panic. It’s not just the nightmares he’s been avoiding in his sleep. 

Dreaming of Teresa is an indulgence he can no longer afford.

When he left with Devon, he knew he’d need more than just physical distance between her and his new life, from what he’d have to do there and who he might have to become to do it. He couldn’t risk it warping his feelings for her.  He couldn’t let it twist his memories or cloud his purpose.

So in the last moments of his freedom, as Devon drove him away into the night, he allowed himself to hold close all that she meant to him: her innate goodness, her fierce bravery, how her eyes warmed whenever she smiled.

And then he built a room around those memories—built the wall brick by brick in his mind until they were shut away. He didn’t need a key. He didn’t even build a door. It was the only way of protecting both those memories and himself.

Leaving her meant leaving her behind.

One look at her now will undo all of his careful compartmentalization. One look at her, no matter if she’s real or imagined, will destroy those walls to dust.  He can’t get off mission, he has to stay on task, he has to—he can’t remember what exactly.  But it feels important, deathly so.

He closes his eyes and waits for the awareness of the dream to catapult him to consciousness but something is wrong. His mind refuses to obey the command.

Error: shortcut not found.

And with every passing second it’s harder to remember why it’s so important for him to resist, his urgency to awaken quickly replaced by an urgency of a different kind.  He can’t stop the hum in the back of his throat at the touch of her fingers brushing across his abdomen or how his body automatically angles itself toward the warmth of hers, inexorable like the tide.

She laughs and the sound of her joy hooks beneath his ribcage, turning him toward her.  They never had enough time.  Little things like lying in bed together, easing into the day with lazy touches and hushed sighs turned into something valuable, something to hold on to, something that’s supposed to be in a lockbox behind a fucking brick wall.

“Hmm, it’s like that is it?” she asks, voice like warm honey sending an anticipatory flare of heat up his spine. “Let’s see if I can’t wake you up.”

The drag of her hair across his chest is all the warning he needs before her lips find his and what’s left of his resistance falls away like tumblers in a lock.  There are no more walls left between them now. No air. Just heat, hands and skin so soft he can barely manage not to bruise it in his desperate need to get her even closer.

An alarm bell rings in some distant corner of his mind, but one hand has already buried itself in her hair, angling her head for better access to her mouth.  The other has slipped beneath her sleep worn shirt, fingers brushing up her ribs to the soft, warm weight of her breast.

This isn’t real.

He doesn’t fucking care.

The past year has been a brutally cold one, filled with blood-soaked ops and people he couldn’t trust.  He’s spent the last twelve months always on guard, either enacting violence, experiencing it or expecting it. To have Teresa here, tangibly safe in his arms, and so, so warm is almost more than he can take, let alone resist.

Her breath stutters against his lips and it feels like a hit of pure oxygen, like she’s reviving him from the dead.

He opens his eyes, pushing her hair back up and out of her face to take her in. She always smiled more freely in their quiet moments together, something that made him feel more powerful than any firearm ever had. Her lips curve now, soft and sweet, her eyes half lidded by pleasure and the knife that’s lodged in his heart tears a downward path, spilling all of his carefully contained emotions from the wound. His grip on her waist tightens too much to go unnoticed.

“What’s wrong?” Her eyes flicker quickly over his face, the ever present worry never too far from the surface of their lives.

He wants to reassure her, to hold onto the playfulness between them, but the ache of it makes him honest. “I miss you.”

“I’m right here,” she replies, voice barely a whisper, perhaps sensing the deadly seriousness of his words. He’s never missed anything half as much as her.  It used to scare him to think of what he’d be willing to do to have this once again. What lines he’d cross to get back to her, to this.

He no longer wonders anymore.  He knows.  The knowledge that he’d do it all over again if it kept her safe didn’t absolve his crimes.  It sure as hell didn’t silence the echo of screams in his head.

“Are you?” His voice is rough but he gentles his hand, smoothing it down her hip to lightly grip her thigh, relishing the strength he can feel beneath his fingertips. He forces a smirk, an attempt to salvage the lightheartedness, and though the slight narrowing of her eyes suggests she sees right through his façade, she concedes to his wishes with a soft smile, tossing her hair over one shoulder to lean down and nip his jawline.

“What do you miss?” she teases, biting gently at the tendon of his neck, sucking lightly at first then sharper.  “This?”

His breath catches in his throat and she hums her approval into his skin.  “Or maybe this?” she murmurs, shifting to run a flat palm down his belly, lower and lower until she’s cupping him through his boxer briefs.

He groans as she strokes him, and she smiles in delight as his hips reflexively rock up into her hand. Her eyes lock onto his, like she knows exactly what power she has over him, like she wants to see the exact moment he surrenders.  It won’t take long. It feels so fucking good that it’s only his pride that keeps him from panting.

Her eyes dance wickedly.  “Or maybe this?”

As quick as lightning, she releases him to grab at his waist, tickling in just the right spot to make him nearly levitate off the bed.

“Fuck,” he laughs, grabbing for her wrists to roll her underneath him, pinning her arms above her head. She’s breathless and beaming and so goddamned pleased with herself that he can’t take his eyes off of her.  She’s beautiful.

“This,” he murmurs, slotting himself between her legs, rolling his hips hard and slow, repeating the movement when her face goes slack with pleasure.

“This,” he breathes, as her heels dig into the back of his thighs, pressing him closer as he leans down to catch her moan with his mouth.

This, he thinks, losing himself in the hazy heat of her. This, this, this.

He senses it a split-second before it happens, like a sudden change in air pressure.  The distant urgency of his mission slamming into focus with the echo of a high powered rifle shot and the shattering glass of the window.

Fiery pain rips through his abdomen, but it's the soft cry beneath him that has him in agony.

He remembers now what was so important.  He remembers now what he was supposed to do.

“Teresa,” he chokes, slumping to the side to get himself fully between her and the window.  He's losing strength fast, barely able to prop himself up enough to assess the damage.  At first he thinks the blood covering her chest is his own, but then he sees it: the entry wound where the bullet passed through him into her.

Her eyes stare up at him in disbelief, words gurgling around the blood pooling in her throat. “James?”

He has to —

“James,” she repeats, blood trickling out the corner of her mouth, her voice growing faint.  

He has to —

“Save me.”

♛

ao3

[someonewhowannadielol]

inevitable love (Yandere!Taehyung x SmolBaby!Reader)

You obviously couldn’t take care of yourself, so Kim Taehyung took matters in his own hands. Literally.

Warning: Harassment, loads of capitalism (kinda ironic that I hate capitalism, considering I’m an Econ student sigh), big dog chase idrk, y/n complains a lot lmao also she’s textbook smart but lowkey dumb,,, like me, I'm literally y/n anywaYS 

CHAPTER ONE (Honestly, its more of a prologue)

P.S Sorry, this one's mostly focused on Y/N, I promise Taehyung will make it in the next chap! 

Word Count: 1.4k

This was ridiculous. You had graduated from one of the finest business schools in the world, yet, here you were, sitting in your shabby studio apartment, listening to another rejection after the countless job interviews while watching the paint peel off the walls. You never really thought life would lead to this, you sitting here on your mattress, eating (probably uncooked) ramen, and crossing another job opportunity. The ramen wasn’t that bad, there were no complaints about it from your side anyways, because you couldn’t cook for shit and any food other than premade food was a waste in this household. You still have nightmares about the incident when you accidentally forgot to take off the plastic packaging off the sliced cheese before making a cheese sandwich in the microwave. Only to watch the microwave - and the cheese – explode in front your eyes. The poor baby.

Glancing at your watch, you realize that you have to head downtown to your job – which was paid under minimum wage, but it did make you better off than the homeless, and the jobless. You could still afford at least one meal a day (Was cup ramen considered a meal?) and the chef at the diner would sneakily give you food, sigh, he was so nice. Sometimes, you look back, and think where things went wrong. You were basically a child genius, always a couple classes ahead of your peers, you got almost got a perfect score on the SAT at the first try (it was a 1560!), you got your bachelor’s degree at the age of 18, instead of the usual 22. You look back and see how you used to think that you could afford a luxurious penthouse apartment in Manhattan and pay off your student loans within a year, while working in one of the best companies in world.

You did have the textbook knowledge, but who was there to teach you about the practical world? The real world? The textbooks didn’t teach you how to pay your water and electricity bills, they didn’t teach you how to hold your tears back when the landlord puts a suggestive hand on your waist, they didn’t teach you how to accept countless rejections, or how to use coupons while grocery shopping, or how to ignore the everyday catcalls, or how to walk through the streets at night. They didn’t teach you how to cope with the fact that your father died but you didn’t have enough money for a flight back to your hometown, they didn’t teach you how to not shout at your mother who got a new family, they didn’t teach you the reality.

So, here you were, two years later, serving disgusting men who harassed you, while wearing a skirt that was too short for your liking and heels that made your feet ache every single day. Somehow, it was worse today. Your hair wouldn’t co-operate, your mascara had officially dried out and no amount of contact solution could revive it from its flaky texture, your manager basically manipulated you to wear red lipstick, and these goddamn heels won’t stop hurting your feet.

At this point, I’m just going to die from the chronic feet pain, you thought.

It was just an endless day of serving, picking up dirty dishes, and of course, ignoring the occasional disgusting words of “endearment” from your customers. You were just picking up the mess of ketchup left by a couple of rowdy boys who sat here 15 minutes earlier, repeatedly asking for your number. Interesting enough, despite all the catcalling, you can only recall four people asking for your number.

The first one had been a wannabe bike rider, he was tall, around 6’4 – give or take – and quite chunky with a full curly beard down to his chest. Despite knowing some people who would dig this vibe, you personally didn’t love the entire ensemble. In fact, you cringed whenever you saw these people perform their tricks on the streets (You cringed even more when you saw them fall and smash their head open. Yikes).

You remember, it was your third day at the newly acquired job, and while you weren’t all that ecstatic to start working here (You were already looking for other, more well paid jobs with more benefits), you still respected the job requirement and went up to the customer and asked, “What would you like to order, sir?” in your sweetest voice possible.

“Well, what’s on the special menu?”

Special menu? You weren’t informed about any special menu, maybe your manager forgot to tell you?

“I’m sorry, I’m quite new here, I’ll go confirm this special menu with my manager,” and just as you tried to go to your manager – who by the way had been keeping an eye on you since you got here, you could say she wasn’t exactly fond of you – scary biker dude grabbed your wrist, a little too tight to be called comfortable, and you couldn’t help but wince.

“Oh sweetheart, you’re the first and only item on the special menu. And I’d like to order that, with a side of Vanilla milkshake,”

Okay, crinnngggeee.

And then, as impossible as it seemed, you were forced to smile and laugh it off, even if it disgusted you to the core. And then, you were manipulated to hand over your phone number.

Just go with the flow, Y/N, just go with the flow. Block it later, no worries.

He was known to be a usual customer, but surprisingly, he didn’t actually ever come to the diner after that, nor did he call you. Now that you notice, no one you gave your number to, actually did call you. Whether it was the biker, or the druggie, or the 50-year-old man who promised to buy you a yacht. Eh, he was so old, he probably died on his way home. So, you never knew whether to take it as an insult, or a blessing.

Well, this day was almost over until 5 minutes before closing down, a bunch of people, who were probably high, because of the unmistakable scent of weed coming from them – came and demanded to be served. Of course, the manager could score any penny she could, so of course, you were forced to work overtime again. Without getting paid.

Finally, a little after 1am, you could take off these horrid heels and slip into the much comfier sketchers. Sure, you had glued them a couple of times, and sure, they kept on breaking because you’ve had them since high school, but it’s okay. You’ll live.

You were halfway down the route to your house, as you tried to rub your fingers together and somehow magically take away the freezing wind this cold night brought. As you walked, you attempted to feel your phone in your back pocket – annddd just when you thought your day couldn’t get any worse. You’d probably left it back in your locker or your apron’s pocket and for a second you contemplated whether it would be worth it to go all the way back at 2am to get you phone. You almost decided against it, but remembered that you would get the confirmation call from the job interview you gave on Thursday, anytime tomorrow. And so, you decided to go back. Well, this was one of the worst decisions of your life. Scratch that, it was the worst decision of your life.

You reached the diner in approximately 10 minutes, but obviously, everything was locked and there was no way you’d sneak in there because, phew, if you got caught you’d lose the only job you have. Just as you turned back, you saw the biggest fucking dog you’ve ever seen. You didn’t know much about dogs, except for the fact that you’re shitless scared of the big, scary ones – and this was definitely a big, scary one. His fur was coated with black, brown and red spots, about half your height, and had teeth that could tear a human in mere seconds.

You didn’t really know whether to run or gently walk away, making it think you weren’t a threat – you took a couple slow steps back while looking at it in the eye, but you’re a dumbass and suddenly decided to run. Somehow along the run you lost the dog. And one of your shoes. And your apartment keys. And your bag which contained this week’s paycheck.

Well, you were fucked.

A/N: Please do give feedback! Also, tell me if you want to be on the taglist for this!

[revchainsaw]

Nausicaa and the Valley of the Wind (1984)

Prayers and Salutations Cult Members! I am your mysterious minister Reverend Chainsaw and this is another nights revival service at the Cult Film Tent Revival. I bring you a special word tonight. Tonight's word is about a person who roamed the earth, in a time where people were backward and warlike. A leader emerged into a kingdom full of eschatological expectation. This leader came preaching peace, and was killed for the sins of the world, but was resurrected. In that resurrection a new hope was brought to the planet, and true healing through the power of love in the face of violence is made possible. I am talking of course about Princess Nausicaa from the Valley of the Wind.

The Message

Nausicaa and the Valley of the Wind is the film that put studio Ghibli and Hayoa Miyazaki on the map. No animated feature this grandiose and epic had been achieved by 1984, as much as Disney may beg to differ. The tale may be simple, and it may feel super 80s to us today, but Nausicaa is a masterpiece, and the fact that Howl's Moving Castle is brought up alongside Princess Mononoke and Spirited Away more often than Nausicaa is a farce and a tragedy.

The film takes place on a fantastic planet that seems to have suffered the ravages of an apocalyptic war. A war that involved gigantic warriors with powers so devastating they about made the entire planet inhospitable if not uninhabitable; save for a few areas. The fall out of this ancient war has left the earth in a state of repair, where the natural processes of a planet healing has creating giant toxic jungles.

Beyond these jungles lie two imperialistic factions, they seem almost to be city-states but it's not terribly clear. The Kingdom of Tolmekia, a militaristic proto-fascist society of almost Spartan sensibilities. Tolmekia is governed by the ambitious and cynical Princess Kushana, But I like to call her Furiosa. Just like Furiosa, Kushana is physically missing parts of herself, a visual metaphor for her metaphysical lacking and the parts of her humanity she has cut away. Kushana's world view is one of fear, a fear that can only be quelled by waging a genocidal campaign against her enemies.

Speaking of enemies, the Athens to Tolmekias Sparta would be the Pejite Kingdom. The Pejites might like to view themselves as simply responding to Tolmekian aggression, but the narrative of the film, and the story told quite visibly on the body of Kushana, is quite different. The Pejites are just as bloodthirsty if not more palettable in their approach, but like the Tolmekians, they believe only their own lives have any value. And thus, in this theatre of war, a Giant Warrior from the ages before is unearthed by the Pejite Kingdom, Stolen by the Tolmekians, before the forces of nature themselves, seem to conspire to drop the Giant Warriors "egg" right into the Valley of the Wind.

The Valley of the Wind is populated like the world of Avatar the Last Airbender, that is mostly of children and the elderly. The people of the Valley have been able to remain untouched by the ravages of war and the toxic jungles of the damaged world primarily due to geographic luck that's explained in minor exposition in the film. They are ruled by a King, and they are all deeply enamored by their beloved Princess Nausicaa.

Nausicaa is a gentle soul. She is kind to animals, she is empathetic, unreasonably patient, and bears pain and grief inflicted on her out of cruelty with a saintly understanding. She really is a thinly veiled Christ figure, scratch that. There is no veil. But she's also my favorite Christ figure. She does not preach a message, as much as she tries to save everyone from their own short sighted goals. She is not perfect, she does lash out and do some fantasy sword fight murder, but she regrets her actions so deeply that it seems to have played a part in motivating her to become even more compassionate and patient with the evils of the world.

Nausicaa discovers yet another plot by the Pejites, who are afraid of the possibility of the Tolmekians awakening the Giant Warrior, to use animal cruelty to enrage a group of almost invincible giant insects known as the Ohm. By luring the Ohm into the Valley of the Wind where the Tolmekians have become an occupying force, they hope to completely wipe out everything that threatens them. The Tolmekians DO awaken the Giant Warrior and pure pandemonium ensues. Nausicaa manages to save the Baby Ohm and calm the rage of the bloodthirsty Ohm swarm, and to defeat the warlike tendencies of both the Pejites and the Tolmekians. All the while fulfilling a prophecy fortold about a messianic savior figure called the Man in Blue.

Now that you have heard the Gospel of Nausicaa, please stand to receive The Benediction.

Best Character: Half a Person

Now that I've spent the better part of this review gushing about our Lord and savior Nausicaa. I have to admit, she's at times a bit too perfect, a bit too saccharin. Even her flaw, or her one weakness and her failing to be perfect, just adds to the perfection. I can't even say she never makes mistakes cuz she made one, and that's infuriating. It's even more infuriating that I still think she's a great character. Normally this kind of thing really kills a hero. Most Chosen Ones are the most boring and least likeable characters in their narratives. I don't know how Nausicaa avoids this trap, but she does. I'll have to do some meditating on that.

However, just like in your typical Chosen One fantasy narrative, the hero is a lot less fun than the villain. I'm going to say the best character in Nausicaa is Kushana. I want to be like Nausicaa, but I don't understand her. She's almost alien, even though we learn all about her. Kushana is mysterious, secretive, and enigmatic, yet I understand her. She barely has an arc, she doesn't really change. She's cold and cynical to the bone, but I don't need to see much of her situation to completely understand why she is the way she is. I usually hate totalitarian bad guys, but Kushana I like. Sue Me.

Also fun fact, did you that Nausicaa means 'Sinker of Ships'. That's kinda fun.

Best Scene: Spoiled for Choice

I'm going to be lazy and say take your pick. There is really not a bad seen in this movie. If the action isn't going, then there's intriguing dialogue. If there's no dialogue then you may be about to get hit with a forceful burst of whimsy. There's horror, there's swordfights and aerial dogfights. The only thing in Nausicaa I don't like to see, is the bloody tortured Ohm Baby. It's like a god damned Sarah Mclachlan commercial.

Best Creature: Foxy Shazam!

The Ohm are so simplistic yet so detailed. The number of eyes is alien, but the way they are used is expertly expressive. Who'd think you could get me to love what basically amounts to a silverfish with the intensity that I love a kitten. How did Miyazaki pull an Okja with a creature that should be haunting our dreams? I don't know.

And what about the Giant Warrior! If you are an Evangelion fan then you probably already know that Hideaki Anno designed and animated the melting goopy biomechanical beast. Surely a sight that would make both H.R. Giger and Clive Barker giddy with excitement. Just the image of the silhouettes marching amidst the desolation of the old world is burned into my brain.

So which of these is the best creature from Ghibli's first outing? It's fucking Teto. It was always gonna be Teto you idiot. Just look at Teto, he's adorable. He's too cute to exist. I'm so alone. I need a pet.

Best Character Design: Tolmekian Regalia

I originally included this category to talk some about Kushana, however, at that time I also thought I was going to say Nausicaa was the best character. I thought hard about deleting it, but I think it's a different category and you can't accuse me of playing favorites because my favorite character is clearly Teto. Just to keep it simple. It's the two costume shift from full military regalia in white and gold, to the one metal arm, warrior princess get up. It's a great costume and a great look. Get on this shit cosplay nerds. It's great for Cons in Canada, you have to think about layers, and you can't keep going as Mr. Plow. It's lazy.

Best Excuse to Talk About Patrick Stewart's Character: Lord Yupa

I just realized that I was about to write this whole review without talking about Lord Yupa. Lord Yupa is a sword saint and all around badass I think a lot of entertainment, especially in the west is lacking bad ass old men. Lord Yupa particularly shines in the early half of the film as a warrior and as a wise council to Nausicaa. If she's Jesus then Yupa is John the Baptist. He is also voiced by the elegant and eloquent Patrick Stewart. He also comes with 2 chocobos!

Worst Character: For Whom Asbel Tolls

This might also be the worst actor category as well. Actual Cannibal (haha meme) and actual monster (haha real life) Shia Labeouf doesn't so much act in the role as he read the lines and it was recorded. The good news it doesn't effect the film too much because Asbel is completely forgettable. He is a catalyst to some of the action, but besides that I don't really care for him.

Worst Aspect: To Be Fair ...

It would be unfair to completely ignore anything negative about Nausicaa. I have already mentioned in many places that there are some pretty corny, or pretty predictable tropes to this movie. But what I can't capture in words is exactly why it feels fresh when it's done in this movie. I suppose that's what makes it good. It's just so good that it's weak points are lifted up by it's strengths. Some people may bored of Nausicaa's unyielding goodness, or that she very rarely chooses to take action as much as she chases and pleads with her surroundings, but I mean, she does pay for that eventually. It's a fantasy story and it hits a lot of timeless themes that have been hit in stories for as long as human beings have been telling stories. Some people may feel that it doesn't do enough to stand out.

Summary

I have defined the S tier for myself as "near perfect and personal favorite" films. I like to think that Nausicaa and the Valley of the Wind is near perfect. Some may say that it looks like it might just be a personal favorite. In the case of Nausicaa, I'm having a very hard time telling the difference. I think it would be overly simple to claim that Nausicaa is just an ancient archetypal heroes journey with an 80s anime coat of paint. I think it's doing quite a few new and interesting things with that formula, those things are just playing out all around that narrative as opposed to being at it's center. For a first full length outing by the studio, you can really see Miyazaki's heart and the values he holds close to. I'll repeat myself so that we are completely clear on the matter. I think Nausicaa and the Valley of the Wind is a near perfect movie.

Overall Grade: S

[yandere-sins]

Pain

Yantober List! Feel free to participate at any point :3

Upupupu, Rhys is taking a surprising from whenever I write about him. He still manages to keep me on my feet, overthinking all he does. Really interesting how hard it can be to come to a conclusion when it comes to your OCs. As if they are always changing. Is this parenthood? Who knows. Still, please enjoy him helping you in this chapter (;

»»————————————  ♡ ————————————««  

On that day, you lost both of the most important persons in your life.

The call didn’t come until it was already time to go to bed. You and Rhys had already settled in, teasing each other a bit before bed and joking around. Despite the many questions in your head, you had been in a good mood. Rhys too seemed to lighten up under your influence, you two chasing each other around the table and wrestling playfully for the last potato chip - which, naturally, he gave to you.

It was a pleasant evening and having your eyes closed already, you wanted to ignore the buzzing phone next to you. Rhys actually gave it to you, telling you to just answer it and get it over with, and despite not knowing what he already knew, you wished you hadn’t obliged to his request. The news of Alex’s passing didn’t actually reach you properly, the phone merely sinking into your lap as you listened to his mother’s sobbing, the line cutting before either of you could speak your condolences for the loss.

Crying all night was an option, but you simply couldn’t. It was a strange pain of getting something back that was so rejuvenating, so reviving, and then suddenly, it was gone entirely. It didn’t hurt, and at the same time, you felt like your whole body simply gave up. As if your will to live wasn’t nearly as present as your need to fall into the mattress and never get up again. All you could do when Rhys asked you what was wrong, concern on his voice after hearing Alex’s mom cry on the telephone, was repeat her words.

Alex, complications, problems with breathing, dead. 

Alex. Complications. Problems with breathing. Dead.

Dead. Simply dead.

This was no matter of, “Hopefully, he’ll wake up again once his body stabilizes.” It wasn’t even, “He had an accident, but treatment came quickly so he will survive but stay in a coma.” This was the final. The end. Nothing after it. After death, no one spoke of recovery or waking up. You could pray for a wonder, but the moment that one doctor announced the time of death, it was done. 

And now, you couldn’t even cry about it.

Instead, you laughed once. Shrugging your shoulders, you looked at Rhys, his arms already stretched out. In the dark, you couldn’t see what he saw, but he probably thought you were going to collapse or some shit again. He said something, but you didn’t hear it, the pain blocking out any sound like white noise. You simply laid down and turned over, unwilling to face your boyfriend of a year. 

The next day, you didn’t get up. Or the day after. 

Whatever drove you to get up on day three was nothing you could name. Probably, the feeling of responsibility that you had to attend the funeral of your best friend, who passed away too early, but you didn’t say a word all this time. Even when people hugged you and tried to comfort you, you didn’t react, and you didn’t hear the whispers of how they called you a ‘poor soul’ and your boyfriend a ‘handsome, strong man’ by your side. 

Life was not good, but in the ride back home, Rhys told you that it would go on. 

Even if you didn’t believe him.

After a week of not going to college, you started to notice sounds again. The expecting tapping of Rhys’s fingers as he waited for you to crawl out of bed and sit on the table to eat with him. The way he laughed without a worry in the world about a TV show you two watched together. You started to notice the noise again when you two went out of the house, Rhys forcing you and pulling you along to go and eat at another instagramable hot-spot he chose. 

Only once did you see your reflection, noticing how pale you looked, almost like Alex in his hospital bed. And from behind you, you could see the sharp eyes of your protector, seeing the same as you did, an empty shell only pulled along to have fun. That was when… something just broke in him, after days of holding himself back for your sake. His pretty, perfect facade crumbling as he gave you a nasty glare, expression crunching up. You remembered this expression. It was the same as when you told him you didn’t love him. Only now, it was pure anger. 

Anger that you were still grieving. Anger that you didn’t appreciate what he did for you. Anger that you didn’t return to how you were before, a loving couple without these problems. Picture perfect.

To some point, you understood him, wishing you could do better for him. But you couldn’t, your body wouldn’t let you, your mind wouldn’t let you. All you could was comply with his rough pulls as he turned on his heels and went back home again, angrily. So, so angry.

“I can’t take you anywhere! You are such a downer! Why can’t you just be happy when I take you out?! I am doing everything I can!” 

All you did was listen to his rambles as you stumbled after him over the cobblestone path. “I’ve been nothing but good to you!”

“It hurts,” you mumbled, your eyes watching as his hand squeezed tightly around your wrist. So much, you thought you’d lose feeling in your fingers. “It hurts! It hurts, that’s all you are saying! ‘It hurts’, ‘Alex’, and ‘no’! When we are together or when you sleep, that’s all I ever get from you!”

Pushing you into his apartment, he shut the door loudly, and - to your surprise - closed all the locks available to him. It didn’t matter to him that you were still pushing off your shoes, one of them coming off as he grabbed you by the arm, pulling you further inside, while the other one remained on your foot. Throwing you on the bed, he proceeded to close the curtains, you had always been sure were just show, the room darkening, yet not darken too much. However, with a flick on the light switch of the bedside table lamp, it turned on, making you blink a few times when you suddenly felt his weight on the bed around you, his body straddling you effortlessly and pinning you down. Even with just one hand, he could keep your arms above your head, and though your legs were free, there was nothing you could have used them for from your position.

Opening your eyelids again, all you could see was the brilliant citrine yellow of his eyes and the flashing of silver in his free hand. “This needs to stop,” he announced coldly. “You didn’t even cry once about Alex yet. You’ve been bottling it up and up even more, and you keep being this awful version of yourself. But I will help you. I don’t want to do this, but it’s on me. I will help you return to normal, for your sake. You have to believe me…”

Words trailing of, Rhys gulped, and you thought his expression turned sourly, nose scrunching up as if he was about to… cry. “I love you. I do all of this because I love you.”

“That’s why I will show you what real pain is like.”

Continue

[candlelight27]

Chapter 1: The Call Of Yesterday

Summary: Sylvain has been ignoring you since you met him. You had been in love with him since you met him. College is about to offer you a fresh start. New academic year, new life. You were ready to forget him. But fate seems to have other plans... (COLLEGE AU)

Series: Seeking Your Warmth If Only For A Day

Warnings: Not so unrequited love, Sylvain being an asshole, curse words

Pairings: Sylvain Jose Gautier x Female Reader

Word Count: 3617

AO3: The Call Of Yesterday

A/N:  Okay, my aim is not for this College AU to be faithful to reality, but to incarnate my own college fantasy. I’m tring to use a lot of characters to make it interesting. Anyways, come talk to me! Send me your suggestions, your comments, your thoughts... And enjoy this fic!

“This is going to be my year”, you told yourself as you got ready for your first day of university. You were brushing your hair and styling it the way Dorothea suggested, since she always knew what would suit everyone’s features. You wanted to be perfect because that was going to be a special day.

Your mind wandered off into the days you spent in Garreg Mach High School. You smiled softly at the reminiscence, since some of the most beautiful memories you harboured took place there, between those cherished halls. Prom night, summer c88uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

amps, the sports club... You were going to miss that time, but you had to move on.

For that matter, it was about time you moved on from a certain thorn in your heart. One that had been bothering you for years. Of course, that thorn had a name, a middle name, and a surname, all too well known to everyone at Garreg Mach.

Sylvain Jose Gautier.

Your own particular unrequited love story.

Your crush on him was kept a secret throughout all high school, naturally. How could it not be? You had fell for the most renowned womanizer of your year – probably the most renowned womanizer of the whole history of your school. He was handsome, he was intelligent, he was nonchalant and carefree, yes, but he also was an asshole, and you didn’t want your friends acknowledging the fact that you had fell fully for his tricks. However, there was something quite worse than falling for the corny clichés and shameless lines Sylvain constantly used. Something far worse than melting with his every word and dying to be the girls whose cheeks he made blush. And infinitely worse than spending all your breaks trying to catch a glance of his fiery hair around the corners of the building.

The thing is that Sylvain had never spared a second glance to you. He hadn’t even tried to flirt you, unlike he did with the whole female community.

That complete banishment was what mortified you the most in your romantic ordeal.

You remembered that time Ingrid introduced you to her childhood friends, Dimitri, Felix and Sylvain. They had gone to the field to cheer her during a football match of your high school team. You had heard of them before and saw them often on the corridors, but you had never crossed a word with any of them, as they were in Ingrid’s class and not yours. You were quite excited to finally talk to Sylvain, for you had been looking at him in the distance ever since Ingrid started telling you stories about him. Yet while your heart pounced like a runaway horse, he only muttered a ‘hi’ and disappeared into thin air.

“Apologise our friend. He’s always off to chase skirts, it’s nothing personal”, tried to explain Dimitri, ever the gentleman.

The next few times you met him, he merely pronounced monosyllables to your efforts of striking up a conversation. Even Ingrid commented on how dry his behaviour was when you were there. How could love appear out of nowhere? It was probably the stupidity of puberty. But your desire was out of control and you couldn’t help going back to him. To those light brown eyes that seemed to melt your heart…

But it was all water under the bridge. You grew up. That silly attraction ongoing for years was going to meet its end with your fresh start at university. Your teenage love was gone with the wind.

You had all summer to psych yourself up and forget him. So far so good. No nigh-time fantasies to keep suffering, no fateful encounters to revive the forgotten flame, nothing to remind you of Sylvain.

You even went on a date with Ferdinand, something completely new for you. It was Dorothea, always meddling in your love life, who had set you up with him when she wormed out of you that you liked redheads. She was convinced your lifelong crush was Ferdinand, because you had been on the same class since you were kids. After such a pompous announce of your date with him, you almost felt bad for your brunette friend as you told her how horribly wrong your date was, but in the end you both laughed about it.

So, yes. You were indeed free from the fetters that Sylvain had bounded without realizing. Or so you thought. You didn’t want to think about that small trace of doubt that told you it would all be in vain the second you see him again after summer break.

“This is going to be my year…”, you repeated out loud as a chant while you gathered your things for your lessons.

“Are you ready?”, asked Ingrid from another room. She was now your flatmate, on one hand because a sudden friendship had bloomed during the holidays, on the other hand because Dorothea was stuck with a new exchange student, Petra, and Mercedes couldn’t be separated from Annette, so you both ended up alone and it seemed the obvious solution. You didn’t complain, you liked her company and things were working just fine.

“Yes!”, you answered and joined her in the entrance, rucksack on your back and phone on your hand.

Her blonde hair was tied neatly in a long braid and her clothes were comfortable yet formal, just like her usual self. She seemed excited for the fresh start, too, as she rushed to talk about the upcoming lessons.

You left the student’s residence, following a couple of groups of people you didn’t know. It was a sunny morning, thus the beams of light shone right though the leaves, already changing their colours at autumn’s pace. While you walked, Ingrid was checking her phone for new messages.

“Are you talking to the guys?”, you asked as you wondered about Sylvain’s schedule in silence – not that you were interested, you wanted to make sure you avoided him –. You didn’t want to be too straightforward, because even the most oblivious person, Ingrid in this case, would notice there was something going on if you were too invested in his affairs, so you were cautious.

“Oh, right now I’m talking to Ashe.” She smiled, still typing. You raised your eyebrows.

“I thought you weren’t that close to him.”

“He’s attending all my lessons so I’m checking a few things with him”, she answered. You nodded and checked your own phone.

Dorothea (08:45): I’m waiting for you on Anna’s Café.

Dorothea (08:45): HURRY UP YOU ARE SLOWER THAN MY GRANNY

“Dorothea’s waiting ahead for us”, you commented.

“Who are you sharing lessons with?”, Ingrid questioned, putting her phone away in her pocket. You hadn’t seen her so interested in the machine ever – you’d have to figure out if it was Ashe’s fault.

“I’m not sure!”, you said. “I think I’m sharing subjects with some of the Golden Deers… Marianne, Lysithea, Claude… Also, Mercedes and Bernadetta.” You weren’t that close to any of them in particular. You sometimes hoped you had closer friends with you, but at least it was a good opportunity to become closer to new people.

“That’s quite the group! All the houses of Garreg Mach mixed!”, the blonde exclaimed. She was right, it was going to be quite the sight – and an exciting adventure, too, you supposed. “Yesterday Sylvain told me he’s going to be in my first lesson today along with Felix, and on some other ones. But the ones who got the same itinerary as me are Dimitry and Ashe, so I’m going to see them often.” She made a pause, as if imagining the future. You, on the other hand, were delighted to hear you weren’t going to share classes with Sylvain. “Leonie and Edelgard have chosen that itinerary too –”

“Hello!” Dorothea sprang to you, dressed in the latest trend, as always. Her smile was radiant.

“Hi, Dorothea! We were talking about who’s on our classes”, commented Ingrid.

“I’m with Hilda! I was hoping some handsome boys would be on my classes but Hilda said she did the research and was quite disappointed.” Dorothea sighed but suddenly called your name. “Claude is in your class, right?” You nodded with caution. “Didn’t you get along with Claude?” You nodded again, furrowing your brows in suspicion. “You could ask him out!”

Ingrid started laughing while Dorothea’s voice was a sweet giggle.

“Playing the matchmaker again, Dorothea?” Ingrid tried to calm herself. “Last time, it was a disaster.”

“Yes, sorry for that”, offered Dorothea.

“Don’t sweat it”, you said, shaking your head humorously.

“But”, the singer wasn’t one to let things go, “he’s actually very hot. Everyone with eyes can see that. And he’s really easy going, unlike Ferdinand. And smart! You must have a lot in common –”

“I’m fine.” You had repeated the same many times. Your friends were trying to set you up on dates lately. “I can manage myself pretty well.”

“You could use a little stress relief though…” Ingrid blushed this time hearing Dorothea’s words. Noticing the silence, the brunette continued. “This goes for you too, Ingrid!”

“That’s not true!”

“Anyways, where’s Petra?” You tried to divert her attention as you were approaching your building.

“She had to sign some documents, so she must be in the main office,” informed Dorothea with a bright smile, her good mood contagious.

“I want to meet her”, said Ingrid, who hadn’t moved yet when you all were acquainted with the student from Brigid. You hadn’t shared more than a few greetings, but she was getting really close to her flatmate.

“We are going to throw a party at my house next week or the other!”, Dorothea announced with excitement. “If you don’t bump into her before, you’ll get to know here there.”

Even though you knew Dorothea’s parties tended to get out of hand, they were always fun, and it could be a great start for something new. You would have to work hard to convince Ingrid, who didn’t like going out that much.

And like that, you reached your destination and parted from them.

The halls of the place where you’d spend your next course studying were filled with students. All seemed to be trying to find the right way to their new classrooms. Chatter filled the air as you read the indications on your phone. It was confusing finding your way in the intricate web of corridors and doors.

“Where is room 122?”, you muttered and chewed your lip.

You found the room 121, but room 122 wasn’t nowhere in sight. You looked at the map, and figured it had to be around the next corner, so you kept walking to the direction you thought was right. You saw your phone, and it was almost 9 a.m., so you increased your rhythm. Then, you turned left.

Only to bump into someone. More specifically, someone’s chest.

You were quite confused as you fell on your butt and your backpack flew. Your bottom ached. Disoriented, you let out a faint ‘sorry’, but you were not sure to who it was directed. When you processed the situation, and that you were indeed going to be late on your very first day of university, you lifted your glance with the intention of getting up fast and entering your classroom.

Yet light brown eyes that seemed to melt your heart stared back at you.

“Are you all right?” The question was announced by a smooth, rich voice.

It was Sylvain.

Shit.

You felt a rush of nervousness that run all over your body. You tried articulating a sentence, a word, anything to play it off cool, but your tongue didn’t respond, so you simply nodded. You weren’t okay, but he didn’t need to know that. Sylvain seemed quite surprised. His luscious lips were parted slightly, his pupils were fixed on you, and he remained as still as a statue, which only added to your agitation. At last, as if he was awakened from a trance, he rose his eyebrows and extended his hand.

“Sorry, let me help you.”

You grabbed your rucksack and took his hand. It was warm, soft, and strong. Sylvain helped you up and you could see you were right in front of your classroom.

“I have to… go to my first lesson”, you said as you pointed at the door.

“Oh, yes. Me too”, he flashed you an award-winning smile of his, totally recomposed of the mishap. “I think we share itineraries.”

“I thought you were… with Felix. And Ingrid,” you said. Inside of you, your thoughts were rioting. This couldn’t be true, you repeated yourself over and over. Half of you was trying to stay calm and affirm yourself that your stupid crush was over. The other half was sheltering some kind of hope you didn’t have time to identify. What was clear was that the redhead managed to break all of your expectations once again and you didn’t like it one bit. Of course, you put on a blank face, totally disconnected from your real feelings.

“Yes, right. I switched itineraries this morning”, he extended his hand and hold the doorknob. “My father signed me up for the one he wanted without any kind of regard to what I wanted in life… So, yeah, thankfully I had time to change everything before it was too late.” He opened the door for you.

“That’s… nice”, you smiled timidly.

“We’ll see each other often, then.” You entered the lecture room and Sylvain walked behind. It was big and spacious, and it was full of students. But at that time, it was as if only Sylvain existed. You’d have to get used to his presence in your lessons. A new challenge, but you were going to ignore him anyways.

Sylvain bid you farewell with a ‘see you’ and took a seat next to Mercedes.

You looked around to see where you could see. You saw a smiling Claude waving at you, right next to Lysithea and Marianne, and making gestures for you to come closer. “Sit with us!”, you barely understood what he said with all the chatter in the room, but his body language left no doubt.

“Hi!”, exclaimed Lysithea, looking cheerful and determined as always. Marianne looked collected and waved her hand. They both seemed much more mature after summer break.

“I’m glad to see you here! Just in time.” Claude moved his books in order to make some room for you at his side. You took the seat and settled there.

“Nice to see some familiar faces here”, you told the Almyran.

“I wonder what this year has in store for us…”, he continued, but he couldn’t finish the rest.

A young professor appeared. He looked like another student, but you could sense the authoritarian aura around him. His short hair was dark blue, and he wore black clothes. This new face sparked your curiosity, and although you were dying to turn your head and see what Sylvain was doing, you forced yourself our of your own trap. ‘Focus! You’re here to study, dammit!’, you chastised yourself.

“My name is Byleth and I’m going to teach ‘Fódlan’s history and culture’”, started the new professor.

Then, Byleth proceeded to give a long, detailed, and boring speech about the bureaucratic minutiae related his subject. It was completely tedious. He went over percentages, grading systems, schedules, credits and so on. He was really testing your will at not being distracted.

Rather than yielding to temptation, you turned around to see what Claude was doing. He was stretching like a cat and yawning. When he realised you were looking at him, he winked at you. You weren’t expecting it, so you nervously smirked and looked elsewhere. You swore it was a coincidence that your glance just happened to fall upon the infamous womanizer of Garreg Mach.

Unexpectedly, your eyes met with Sylvain’s. You decided your safest option was looking at your professor and finally paying attention.

What was happening that disastrous day? The Goddess herself must have been punishing you. You felt like you lost a war to your heart. You thought you had finished the chapter where all you did was thinking about Sylvain, you were going to date someone else, maybe fall in love and, above all, you were going to avoid returning to those years head over heels for someone who didn’t even know your name – or at least you supposed so, since he had never said it. Instead of the sensible thing, your whole being decided to betray your will, and you were all flushed and flustered with a single look of that man. It didn’t matter it was the first time he paid attention to you or that your longest conversation had been held that very same day. It didn’t matter to your dumb heart, which-

“This project will be done in pairs and it’s about the 25-30% of the final grade.” Oh, you might have wanted to pay attention to that, now that Byleth was saying something quite important.

“What did he say?”, you asked Claude.

“Too busy giving Sylvain the eye?”, he remarked, a satisfied smirk on the side of his face.

“Claude!”, you tried to scold him, but as you were whispering, it sounded like a high-pitched yell of guilt. Just like your feelings.

“Okay, okay. No need to get your knickers in a twist”, he couldn’t resist teasing you. “There’s this big project, 30% of the final grade or so. We have to research a topic he will give.” He sighed. “The professor also added that he’s going to assign the partners. I know it’s for our own good, for the sake of team working and all that boring paraphernalia, but it kind of sucks.”

“Maybe we’ll be lucky and we will be able to work together”, you tried to look at the bright side.

“As much as I’d love that, I think it’d be far more interesting if you got paired with someone else we know…”, he trailed off, testing the waters.

“I don’t know what you are talking about”, you sentenced.

“I’m not a fool. I know you’ve liked him since high school”. That, you weren’t expecting it. You hadn’t been exactly secretive with your longing staring, but you hadn’t been expecting the master of gossip to be after your very own secret. “Don’t make that face. I didn’t tell anyone, but you can’t fool me.”

“Just don’t tell Dorothea or I’m not going to hear the end of it”, you surrendered and pleaded. What was the use of hiding it longer? Besided, Claude made you feel comfortable and you though that he might be the right person to help you.

“Don’t worry. Just, why him?”, he wondered.

“I… It’s something beyond my control. It’s like I was condemned to love him and I can’t escape by any means. Like a force of fate is controlling me.” Now that you got to put it to word… it was the perfect description to how you felt. And you wondered how that could be.

“And how come you haven’t hooked up yet?” He laughed again at your expression of shame. “He’s Sylvain! Come on!”

“He ignored me. As in, he had never talked to me in high school”, it actually felt better than you imagined having someone to talk to. And Claude always kept quiet about other’s matters. He knew everyone’s secrets, but he never told any.

“That’s… weird. I will investigate that.” He placed his hand on his chin and his expression turned meditative. “He seems interested in you now, tough.”

“What do you mean?”, you couldn’t believe him. But something told you that it must be true if it was Claude who noticed it.

“He’s been looking at you for 40 minutes.”

You turned around and, in effect, Sylvain was looking at you. This time, it was him who moved away his gaze, a bit embarrassed to have been caught.

“So, from what I’ve seen,” Claude started to sum up, “you are trying to ignore him – don’t deny it, I’ve seen you stealing glances – because he had rejected you all high school. But now he’s flirty and charming, so you are on square one.”

“Yes, you could say so.” You were ashamed, but eager to see where he was going.

“There’s only one solution.” He moved his head closer to you, as if it was a conspiration.

“What is it?” He decidedly had captured you then, and you moved your head closer to hear him better.

“Play it along. See what happens. Don’t implicate yourself too much, but find out what changed.”

Right before you could answer, Lysithea shushed you. The professor was beginning to announce the pairs. As expected, most of your friends ended up with an unknown partner. Marianne was lucky and was set to work with Mercedes, one of the sweetest girls you knew. Bernadetta, who you hadn’t noticed until that moment, was paired with a girl called Monica, who seemed eerily familiar. Your name hadn’t been said, and neither did Sylvain’s, much to Claude’s delight.

After a long list of surnames, you didn’t recognise, it was your turn. While your name left your professors lips, your eyes widened. You raised your hand so Byleth could identify you with the name.

“Okay. There. Your partner will be…”, he was scanning the remaining names, for the list was almost finished. “Sylvain Jose Gautier.”

“Fate has decided for you”, Claude commented. You looked at Sylvain, and he had the audacity to smirk and wink at you. Outrageous.

You were then sure of it. Sothis was laughing at you. How were you supposed to survive this year?

[curiousconch]

Recovery

Chapter 9 of Ricochet (An Open Heart AU)

Catch up here: Series Masterlist

Chapter Synopsis: As Heather is set to recover, will her relationship with Rafael follow the same path? 

Pairing: Rafael Aveiro x MC (Dr. Heather Song) | Bryce Lahela x MC (Dr. Heather Song) ft. PLATONIC Dr. Ethan Ramsey

Words: 1.4k+ | Genre: Crime, Suspense/Thriller, Romance

Rating/Warnings: Mature (16+) / themes of physical and emotional trauma 

Author's Notes: This very very very angsty chapter was inspired by a favorite song of mine from Taylor Swift's 1989 album, Clean. Halfway through, I wrestled with the emotions of this chapter, and another song titled Say Something, a haunting duet by A Great Big World and Christina Aguilera helped me complete the rest of the narrative.

Thank you so much for taking time to read this series. Please let me know if you want me to include/remove you in the tags list. Also, disclaimer: Majority of the characters are owned by Pixelberry, except the main character Heather Song.

Rafael watched from a distance as the doctors scrambled to revive her back to life. 

Seeing her actually slip away terrified him. But what was more horrific is how he could only watch on helplessly, with no ability to come to her rescue. It shook him to the core.

For so long he believed that he can be her own personal savior, her superman. But during the most crucial of times, the sinking knowledge that he simply can't fulfill the one promise he made gnawed at him life a nightmare coming to life. 

The fact that he himself had inflicted a deep wound on her heart just a few days ago crushed him all the more. 

He had no right to be here, he realized. He had already gave up that privilege on the day he chose his ego over her. It was when he decided to fulfill his fantasy of being someone else's hero, rather than coming to terms with the truth that she will never need him the way he wanted to. 

Even when the flashback of them at Donahues, where he asked her to consider taking him back, nipped at his already guilt-ridden heart. The sheer audacity of him to demand that from her, only a selfish person without care would ask someone to do that. 

The illusion that he hold onto for so long crumbled into dust. With it, was his determination to cling to what once was. 

"She's going to be okay, Raf," his silent torment was interrupted by Elijah, who approached him in the corner of the room. 

He looked up to him, then to the direction where she was laid down, and heard the merciful evenly-paced beep of the heart rate monitor. 

Relief washed over him. She lived. 

He quietly mouthed a thank you to Dr. Greene. When he was left alone yet again, he ruminated at the stormy thoughts that filled his head. 

She has suffered enough heartache for a lifetime. And for him to continue to pursue her is to only prolong her trauma and heartache over his actions. For them, there was no recovery. 

Today was not a chance to begin again. It was a chance to make it right and finally give up. 

It was then that he decided, it was time to let her go.

***

Heather woke up as she was wheeled into the hospital room. The white fluorescent light made her eyes flicker, her vision trying to adjust to the sudden brightness after a long stay in the dark. 

A baritone voice boomed into the quiet, jolting her consciousness awake. 

"Well, you put up a mighty fight today, Rookie." 

Heather couldn't help a snicker, her vision darting around to sought out the speaker. 

"I had to, or you'll probably chase me to the afterlife with your scalding commentary, Dr. Ramsey."

She heard him chuckle in response. 

"Still snarky, I see," the attending quipped, as he approached the side of her bed and pressed a button on a remote. Slowly, her upper body raised up, as the headboard elevated. She tried to curve her lips into a smile only to feel a tingling pain, making her wince a little. 

"Easy there, Dr. Song. You just went to hell and back today." Ethan said, a clipboard tucked between his fingers. 

"Funny that you say that," she said. "I still feel like hell though."

Her mentor can only manage a faint smile, an endearing affection coming across his piercing blue eyes. She knew that look. It was the same kind of gaze she saw him give Dolores during her intern year. A subtle look of genuine concern which she attributed to their growing relationship as mentor and protege. 

It was just a matter of seconds before that look vanished, replaced by a more formal version. 

"It's going to be a couple of days of recovery for you," he explained. "You suffered from severe hyperkalemia, which, with the help of your friend from the DA, we have managed to de-escalate as soon as possible."

Heather couldn't help but blink at what was just mentioned. "I'm sorry, my friend from the DA?"

"Yes, ADA Lahela was able to identify the correct chemical compound within the first half hour after you arrived here," he paused as he checked the flow of her IV. "It aided us to do the proper intervention in the nick of time."

He was right. Anymore than 30 minutes into the system, potassium chloride would have bound to the blood cells and would have caused permanent, if not fatal damage in her system. 

She'll have to thank Bryce the first chance she gets. Her memories went back to their last conversation, and she shivered at the unavoidable confrontation that will take place. 

Her hands trailed up to her temple, where she felt a bandage. She recalled her fall, thinking it was how she got wounded. 

"Ah, yes. We're going to do an MRI for that, just to make sure we're not missing anything else. But apart from that, you'll do alright." He concluded. 

"Thanks Dr. Ramsey," her appreciation was sincere.

He nodded. He was about to express something else, when a knock on the door hindered him. 

Both of them swiveled at the visitor. Heather swallowed hard as the dark brown eyes looked back at her, the familiar figure standing by the doorway. 

"May I come in?" Rafael said with a hint of hesitation as he put a foot forward.

Ethan Ramsey twisted his gaze back to Heather, checking if he would allow the young man in. Although he saw her body tense, she lightly nodded.

"Sure, Agent Aveiro. We're just about finished here." the attending gently patted Heather's hand. "I'll see you in the morning, Rookie."

When Dr. Ramsey departed, Raf made his way towards her, as if in a daze. Heather bit her lower lip and touched the tips of her brunette fringes. The thin tube of the IV tangled in her arm giving her an excuse to avert her eyes away from his for a few seconds.

"Are you doing alright?" Raf asked, taking a seat on the standard-issued metal chair beside her bed.

"Yeah, I'm okay, I've been through worse." she mumbled, almost whispering.

A sharp pang of contrition reverberated within him, unsure of which ordeal she just called as a better alternative than what she just went through. Although his adultery was probably a main contender.

His head bowed low as if navigating through the warring indecision between his heart and mind. While distracted, a soft pitter-patter of rain slid against the glass window. It was as if nature was conspiring against him, yet another heaven-given sign that their end was inevitable.

How can ending a relationship be made easier? There was no path that would prove to be less difficult, except for an admission of the truth. The least hurtful road to traverse is the turn towards an honest confession that what they had has intersected with their own definition of their limits. 

Rafael cleared his throat, the noise making Heather face him.

"Heather," he began. "I know I promised to be the person who you can turn to, anytime you needed." His lips quivered, fumbling with the right words to say. 

"But I broke that," he simply said, reaching for her hands and lacing it with his. His head dropped so low in between his shoulders that his cheek touched the fabric of her hospital blanket.

Her eyes shone as she slowly took in his words, soaking in the finality of the tone he uttered them with. When she survived her kidnapping tonight, she initially thought she won a battle. But only hours after, they were losing the war.

Rafael's tears soaked through the white sheet, like the rain that drowned the street outside the sullen, sterile hospital room. His muffled groans of defeat echoed through the silence that crawled in between. Although his heart burst in a million shards, deep down he knew it was ultimately for the best.

They couldn't remember how long they stayed still. Eventually, he lifted his head where his gaze fell upon the softness of her features. His thumb gently grazed her cheek, asking for permission.  She nodded, an unspoken agreement similar to what she used to give him before.

In a heartbeat, their lips met, savouring the taste of each other, fully aware that this will be the very last time. The kiss was sweet, but tainted bitter by their unspoken farewell. When they pulled apart, there was no question that it was the end of the road for them. 

There was nothing left to say.

But before they separated, a set of amber eyes witnessed the ending of their love affair, misinterpreting it as a last ditch effort to salvage the remnants of their irreparable relationship. 

The prosecutor fled from the hospital room without so much as a word, unnerved by the scene that put another blow on his own pursuit of love. 

Tags: @eleanorbloom @ramsey-lahela @choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

***

Author's Notes 2: Although Rafael is still my OTP, what he did in the beginning of this series rendered him and Heather permanently broken. Cheating, no matter the justifications, will always be cheating. And dealing with the consequences of it, especially by the offended party, will be a hard mountain to summit. Raf chose to let Heather go, and for me, that proves that he loves Heather enough, so that he could spare her from further emotional trauma. She has more than enough to deal with now.

[fandom-trash-xl]

One-Shot: The Small and the Shiny

Timeline Placement: Age 784 (The 28th World Martial Arts Tournament!)

______

"Now, don't get into too much trouble, you two."

Today was the day of the twenty-eighth World Martial Arts Tournament and the two Saiyans, Goku and Vegeta, weren't the only ones who were ecstatic. 

Five-year-old Pan, granddaughter of Goku, was finally ready to participate in her first tournament. Due to her Saiyan genetics, she was a combat prodigy, allowing her to easily hold her own amongst adults. She had even flown around the planet in the span of minutes just that morning.

However, it would be a while before the main event would begin and Pan was dead set on perusing the various activities around the area with her grandpa.

"We won't, dad!" Pan assured her father.

"Hey, don't sweat it, Gohan! She's in good hands." Goku gave a reassuring smile.

"With you, that's debatable." Chi-Chi sighed.

“Ah, come on, Chi-Chi...” The Saiyan looked back at his wife almost pleadingly. “You’re always saying how I should bond with her, and I promise we’ll only buy a few sweets...”

She only sighed, a small smile forming across her lips, still ever amused by her husband after all of the years of worry. “Just go.”    

On that note, Goku and Pan soon took to the heart of the lanes of vendors, looking to find at least something to occupy the time before they were called back for their matches.

"Where do you want to go first, Pan?"

"Ice cream!" Pan cheered, pointing to a nearby stand.

"Great choice! I was thinking that too." Goku entered a running stance. "I'll race you!"

"You're on, grandpa!"

After a brief count of three, the pair began to rush towards the ice cream vendor. However, it didn't take long for Pan to lose her pace.

She saw something. A tail from around a corner, lazily batting about in curlicues.

"Hey, why'd you slow down, Pan?"

"Look over there!"

Pan pointed to the tail around the corner. It was rather small, a dusty rose color and striped. Dangling from it was what appeared to be a small pendant keychain with a circular charm.

"It's a puppy tail, grandpa! There's a puppy over there!"

"Well, I think that's kind of a weird color for a puppy..." Goku tried to explain, but Pan had already bolted.

"PUPPY!" She squealed as she ran towards the tail. 

"Pan, wait!" Goku tried to chase after his granddaughter, but she was already prepared to pounce on the tail. When Goku could finally see around the corner and realize that the tail's owner was in fact not a dog, Pan had already jumped and grabbed on.

"Gotcha!"

The tailed creature appeared to be a bipedal reptilian. The jewel that made up his skull was a brownish maroon shade and resembled a chestnut. The creature's species was familiar to Goku, but he couldn't place it in this rushed instance. He was clearly upset that his tail was grabbed and tears were forming.

The reptilian stumbled back as he freed his tail from Pan's eager grasp, not noticing the pendant dropping from it.  He started to bolt in the other direction, mumbling something panicked and incoherent. He didn't get very far before tripping. He picked himself up and continued to run, this time holding his tail to stop it from dragging on the ground. He finally managed to cry out a word that was understandable: a wailing cry of "Papa!"

"Pan, that wasn't very nice of you to pull on that little lizard boy's tail." Goku looked at his granddaughter with disappointment. 

"But, grandpa, I didn't know!" Pan whined.

Goku sighed. "Well, we should try to find him, so you can apologize." Noticing the fallen keychain, he retrieved it from the ground. “And we should probably return this to him too.” He grabbed Pan's hand and led her through the crowd. "Come on." 

______

Several minutes had passed and the two had no luck with finding the lizard boy. It was rather unusual. How hard was it to find a boy with a tail in a place like this?

Pan was scanning among the legs of passing people to try to spot the boy with no luck. 

Goku turned to look in the direction that Pan was searching while continuing to walk. “You see ‘im yet, Pan?” He inquired.

“No, not yet, grandpa, but...”

“What is it?”

“I think you should be paying more attention to the path!”

“Pan, it’s fine.” Goku assured his granddaughter. “I’ll be fine, I’m not going to bump into anyone!”

Just at that moment, as if jinxed by his words, Goku immediately bumped into someone. He jolted back, almost letting Pan’s hand slip out of his.

“Woah, sorry, sir. Didn’t see you there!” He apologized.

“You’d better be sorry, monkey.” A snarky and sarcastic voice responded.

The sound of the voice resonated with Goku. Only one person he knew had that certain flourish to his voice and that same person was the only one who called him by that name.

Goku’s eyes turned downward to see a familiar reptilian figure with white scales and violet jewels. Unlike the lizard’s usual attire choice, he wore a loose-fitting button-up shirt, dark enough violet to pass for black, and Force-standard spandex shorts, as well as a pair of sunglasses- somewhat feminine in design, likely not something he picked out himself- that his ruby red eyes peeked over, giving the Saiyan his signature glare of condescension. This clothing was probably to help him blend in with the surrounding crowds and avoid suspicion, but Goku felt that his tail was somewhat of a dead giveaway. 

“Frieza?” Goku looked in confusion. “I didn’t expect you to be at the tournament!”

“Well, I didn’t expect myself to be here either.” The Arcosian removed his sunglasses and folded them. “But, Vegeta’s woman insisted since it’s been almost five years since I helped you save the universe, or whatever sappy excuse she used.” He rolled his eyes. “And apparently there are no admission returns, so...”

“Yeah, Bulma’s quite the master of persuasion, isn’t she?”

“I wouldn’t call it persuasion. More like coercion.”

Meanwhile, Pan slowly glanced around her grandfather’s leg to get a better look at the figure before her. Frieza’s tail swished back and forth, almost pattern-like, but the young girl noticed something else. Flicking almost in sync with the white tail was another tail of a familiar dusty rose color. Could it be that lizard boy?

Pan eagerly tugged on the leg of Goku’s gi. “Grandpa, grandpa!”

“What is it, Pan?” Goku asked.

“This guy’s got a tail!”

“Yes, he does, Pan.” The Saiyan explained. “Mr. Frieza’s from space, so he has some body parts that humans don’t have.”

"Oh?" Frieza seemed curious about the small girl. "Who is this? Another one of your hellspawn I presume?"

"Actually, Pan's my granddaughter. She was at that post-tournament party we had, remember? She was just a baby then."

"You do remember I left before all of these festivities, right?" Frieza's eyes narrowed. "I could barely stand being on your team for forty-eight minutes, so I definitely couldn't stomach a full-out party."

“Oh, right!” Goku remembered and scratched the back of his head in embarrassment. “Almost forgot you’re not a party person.”

Frieza gave a displeased sigh at the Saiyan’s ignorance. His tail flicked about faster and the second tail behind him seemed to be having difficulty matching the speed. This attracted Pan’s attention yet again, prompting her to give another tug.

"Grandpa, grandpa!"

"I'm afraid you'll have to advise her that this is hardly the time or place for me to explain my entire anatomy..." The Arcosian rolled his eyes.

"Pan, Mr. Frieza's right. Maybe another time-"

Pan interjected. "But, he's got two tails!"

Goku looked shocked. "He has what?!"

Frieza's eyes practically flew open. "I-I can explain, don't get too over-excited now-"

But, Goku had already started rambling. "I didn't know you could grow another tail! Can you grow three tails? Do you think Saiyans can do it too? Can-"

"Silence!" Frieza barked, ending the rant. His own tail stiffened and the second one seemed to fidget, uncertain of how to mirror the other. He sighed. "The second tail isn't mine."

"So, you ripped it off another guy and surgically attached it to yourself?"

The Arcosian was starting to lose patience more rapidly. "No, I mean that there's someone behind me, you imbecile!" He pinned his folded sunglasses to his shirt collar. "Just give me a second." Frieza turned around and bent down. His voice seemed to mellow as he near silently spoke to the small being behind him. “Come on, Kuri. Don’t be scared...”  After a brief hesitation, the pint-sized figure flinched forward into Frieza's embrace, allowing him to scoop up the tailed creature. "There we go..."

When he faced them again, he was holding a smaller lizard being. Their form seemed to be similar to Frieza's first form, but it was missing horns. Their jewel skull resembled a maroon chestnut. They donned Frieza Force-regulated battle gear. The armor seemed to be of a model similar to Vegeta's, as it lacked the shoulder pads present on Frieza's usual armor. A black silk scarf, somewhat large on them, was tied at their collar and draping along their shoulders.

"It seems that some introductions are in order." Frieza finally managed a smile for once. "This is my son, Kuriza. Born two years after my revival." 

Kuriza, clearly bewildered, briefly glanced over to Goku, then to Pan. After his analysis, he quickly averted his gaze and attempted to retreat back behind his father, who quickly stopped him. He must have been rather shy.

"Wow, never thought you had it in you, Frieza!"

Frieza hesitated for a moment. "What are you implying here, Goku...?” His eye twitched angrily. 

“Well, um... It’s just... You’re Frieza and all, and I didn’t really think you were interested in-”

Pan interjected with her own question to spare her grandfather from Frieza’s wrath. “Who’s the mum, then?”

Frieza stammered as a red color spread across his face. He refused to look either of them in the eye. “That is... none of your concern, child...”

Goku laughed a little. “Same stubborn Frieza! But, anyways, it’s nice to meet you, little guy!” He held out his hand for Kuriza to shake or, at least, grab onto. To the Saiyan’s surprise, the young lizard’s already frightened expression seemed to further sour, shortly afterward attempting to snap his small fangs at Goku’s hand.

“Kuri! Manners!” The older Arcosian scolded him through gritted teeth.  

“Woah! What the heck was that for? Did you set this up?”

Frieza seemed shocked as well. “I swear, I didn’t. I know that vengeance has been in the cards for quite some time now, but I’ve never trained him to attack you specifically.” He let out a small chuckle. “I guess it’s only natural for him to attack what he considers a threat. Just my luck that you automatically fit the bill~” 

Emerging from the brief silence, Kuriza suddenly started to mumble something. It was hard to decipher at first, but even Goku was able to deduce what he said. “He’s... with... her.” He seemed to be referring to Pan and was clearing speaking about her with fear in his tone.

“This is because of Pan?” Goku looked surprised before the emotion was quickly overshadowed by fear. Frieza was glaring at him. 

“Alright, monkey,” The Arcosian growled. “I don’t know what your little spawn did that traumatized my son, but you’d better explain... now.” 

Goku started to sweat as he tried to once again hide Pan behind his leg. “I-I honestly... don’t know what happened...”

“Sh-she...” The young lizard stuttered. He eventually gave up on trying to work out the words and grabbed the end of his dusty rose tail. He made a tugging motion lightly enough to not cause himself discomfort. Goku’s eyes widened with realization. Kuriza was the lizard boy from before!

Frieza looked to his son with a gaze of concern. “Kuri, did that girl pull your tail?” Kuriza simply nodded. “She did?” His eyes turned back to Goku and his concerned look turned to an infuriated scowl.

“Um, Frieza, I can explain!”

“What is there to explain here? This little mutt pulled on my son’s tail because she doesn’t know how to keep her paws to herself...”

“She didn’t really pull though, she was only grabbing on for a few seconds-”

“Well, the tail is very sensitive! She could have hurt him!”

“Frieza, I’m honestly very sorry for all of thi-”

Goku’s defense of his granddaughter was cut off by Pan herself stepping up, her voice reduced to whimpering. “I didn’t wanna hurt him! I thought it was a puppy tail because I like to grab puppy tails, I didn’t know. I won’t do it again, don’t hurt me, Mr. Frieza!” She was almost diminished to an emotional puddle faced with the angered emperor. 

Thankfully for the trembling quarter-Saiyan, Frieza’s temper cooled with a sigh. “I guess if you promise never to do it again, I can let it slide. Fortunately for you both, Vegeta’s woman also forced me into a ‘no violence’ agreement, so I, unfortunately, can not destroy you if the mood strikes me.”

Despite the positive news, Goku’s shoulders seemed to slump in disappointment. “Aww... So, does that mean you won’t be fightin’ in the tournament today?”

“Violence clauses or no, I am much too powerful to safely fight the normal Earthling combatants. I could quite literally tear up the competition while holding back.” The Arcosian’s expression turned into a cocky smirk. “Besides, I can’t trust any of your questionable companions to watch my darling Kuri.” At mention of his son, his scarlet eyes darted over to Kuriza, who was further attempting to bury his face by snuggling into his father's embrace, the gesture met by a brief cheek nuzzle.

"Speaking of watching over and such," Goku added with mild confusion. "How come the little guy was out and about without you? I figured you'd be watching him like a hawk with how protective you are."

Frieza sighed. “I try to stop him from wandering off, but he keeps trying to scavenge anyway. The boy has a mind of his own some days.”

“Scavenge?”

“Yes, for coins- and, before you try to give me any money, we’re fine on that front. He simply adores shiny objects like that... I even had to buy him a shiny little trinket in the hopes it would keep him occupied for a spell, but it seemed it didn’t work that well. It’s this little medallion charm from a little vendor back there.” He turned to Kuriza, who finally peeked back out of his reserved hiding. “Show them your little charm, Kuri.”

The smaller lizard looked back to his tail, only to find no such object dangling from it, letting out a small gasp. Frieza’s eyes narrowed. “Where did your charm go, Kuriza?” He was met with a mumbling response that Goku couldn’t make out but Frieza somehow could. “I told you not to put it on your tail, you know that’s how things get lost.”

“What’s the matter?” Goku inquired.

The lizard emperor sighed yet again. “It seems that Kuriza lost his little trinket while he was out scavenging. It must have slipped off his tail while he was up and about, it could be anywhere in this place. Such a shame that-”

"Shiny..." A small sad whimper came from Kuriza. He depressedly tried to slide down out of his father's arm, only for him to be scooped back up.

"Aww... Poor guy... Are you going to go look for it now?" Pan asked from behind Goku's leg.

"I'm afraid that will not be an easy thing to accomplish, little- Gkk!" Frieza was cut off by a sudden pain: a small kick from Kuriza, right in the upper ribs. The little lizard's mood had greatly soured and he was now resorting to kicking to fuel his agenda.

"Goku!" Frieza interjected, still being given small jabs in the ribs from his son's silent tantrum.

"Yes?" Goku perked up. Frieza had no snarky nickname for him, so he knew he was serious.

"By any chance, do you know someplace private I could go for a minute or so?" He spoke through pained grunts. "Preferably one nearby?"

"Wait, why?"

"Well, you know how he likes shiny things? Seeing my Golden Form helps calm him down and I don't want to attract any undue attention. So, if you would-" A single harder kick made Frieza's eyes widen mid-explanation to near the size of saucers. "Please..." He turned Kuriza around in his carrying, getting his legs to face outward and redirecting his frustrated kicks, unfortunately trying to find ways to swing backward.

"Ahh... Gotcha..." The Saiyan nodded understandingly before briefly shooting him a casual finger gun. "I think there should be bathrooms off around the outskirts- Maybe around the konpeito booth?"

"Much appreciated..." Frieza grunted through his teeth as he turned in his tracks off towards the other direction, redirecting his attention and softening his tone towards his son. "It's okay, Kuri... Papa will do the pretty shiny thing for you soon..."

However, before he could get too far, Pan suddenly chipped in, her voice still somewhat stuttering in fear of potentially upsetting the short fused emperor. "Wait... Umm, Mister Frieza?"

One iris darted back to look at the petite partial Saiyan, Frieza's default look appearing like a glare. "Yes? What do you need, little mutt?"

"Well, umm..." She hesitated. "If you tell us what it looks like, we could try to find the little charm for him..." After her initial nerves, she perked up, confidently cocky like her grandpa. "I'm good at finding things!"

The emperor was resistant to accept the offer, especially one from a five year old, but he eventually let out a begrudging sigh. "Very well, but don't get your hopes up about finding it. It's a small circle shaped pendant- Two sides to it. One has a picture of the sun, the other has a crescent of your planet's moon- and it's very shiny as you could presume." He rolled his eyes as he turned back around. "Now, if you don't mind..." He trailed off, grumbling.

Not long after Frieza had only taken a few steps ahead, all while trying to reign in the silently fussing little lizard in his arms, a thought caused Goku's shoulders to lurch up, like a jolt coursed through him to turn on the metaphorical lightbulb. He turned to Pan, fetching something from his belt as he did- the small keychain that had been dropped from earlier. Of course, it appeared a touch less shiny than hoped due to the dirt on it. "Hey... Pan, do you think this might be it?"

"Yeah!" The young quarter-Saiyan piped up. "After all, we did find it when the little guy ran off."

"Well, Mister Frieza's not too far, so do you think you could-"

Goku was barely allowed a chance to finish before his granddaughter yelped out to cross the few feet gap between her and the father-son pair of lizards. "Hey! Mister Frieza! We have it!"

The lizard emperor flinched in his tracks from the volume of her voice, pivoting back around on a dime and returning back to the two Saiyans. "What?! How the hell did you find that so fast?"

Pan briefly flinched as well, sensing hostility in his tone, but quickly recomposing herself. "Well, we think he lost it when I pulled his tail. It was on the ground where he was, so..." She held out the keychain, Frieza's eyes nearly lighting up in relief, only for his expression to remain the same typical disgruntled.

"It's all dirty, monkey..." His glare shot up to Goku, who quickly understood what Frieza meant by it, letting out a brief "oh!" before taking the keychain from Pan, hastily wiping it clean with the edge of his top, then handing it back. "That's better."

Upon seeing its glimmering beauty reflecting the light of the sunshine, the once stubborn little Kuriza's expression seemed to melt into stunned wonder, a matching glitter in his eyes. "Shiny..." He let out an awestruck whisper, his tiny hand now attempting to reach out toward it, only to be limited by the length of his arm and the hold his father, who was smiling for once, kept on him.

"Yes, yes, I see it, my little chestnut." The emperor sighed. He knelt down to a shorter level, closer to Pan's, as he set Kuriza back onto his two feet and quickly snatched the charm from the Saiyan child's hands. "Now, so you don't lose this again..." He untied the knot of the boy's scarf before quickly retying it again, this time making the knot around the looped end of the keychain. "We'll tie it here."

Kuriza almost immediately looked back down to admire it, fumbling with it in his tiny hands and flipping it between sun and moon, continuing to do so even as his father scooped him back up and rose to his feet. The smile remained on the older lizard's face even as he shot a glaring look with his eyes at Pan. "Don't expect any sort of 'thank you', mutt. You were part of the problem, after all."

"Well, she was part of the solution, to be fair."

Frieza simply scoffed. "Water under the bridge, monkey..." He shifted his son in his arms, transferring him to his backside and, no sooner after the small being had securely latched himself into his new position, his eyes progressively lowered, already tired. It was interesting to see how Frieza seemed to mellow around his son- was it parental hormones or did he actually have a sweet side?- yet his characteristic cold nature seemed to remain beneath.

"Now, if you have nothing further to contribute... I'll continue perusing this overly sappy human carnival until the main event starts." As the lizard turned around, precious cargo slumbering on his back, it wasn't long before his route forward was cut short by another voice calling out toward him, this one feminine, but not belonging to Pan.

"Hey! There you are, Frieza!" He looked with a cold glare to find that the approaching voice was tied to the woman who had roped him into this mess herself- Bulma, waving towards the group ahead on the path. Of course, she was not alone, having her clearly disgruntled Saiyan husband dragged along with her, as well as an unfamiliar pint-size presence, her hair distinctly matching Bulma's in color.

"Great... The woman..."

Alerted by this commotion, Kuriza's attempted nap was instantly halted with an alarmed squeak. His panic amplified upon seeing the approaching Briefs family and, not wishing to confront even more people, released his hold on Frieza's back, dropping to the ground and preparing to bolt away in the opposite direction. However, a stark white tail pushed him back. "No running off again!" Having no other escape option, he defensively kept a firm hug-like grip around his father's legs.

While Frieza remained aloofly looking away, Goku was all smiles to see the group approaching, waving towards Vegeta in particular. "Hey, 'Geets!" His greeting was met by the other Saiyan letting out a small grunt and simply addressing him as "Kakarot".

The emperor only rolled his eyes at this overly sappy "buddy-buddy" display, not finding any interest in whatever sort of bonding ritual the two Saiyans had to share, nor any of the human ones Bulma would force onto him. However, before he could make his discreet exit from the situation, the woman's eyes locked with him. "I thought I saw you around. Thankfully nothing in utter chaos." The smile on her lips was hesitant, even though dragging him here was her idea, and Vegeta held her back with a defensive arm, as if he were a zoo exhibit.

"Your lack of faith in me to 'behave', as you put it, is insulting, Bulma." Frieza scoffed, half-humoring her. "Anyway, thank you for the... human disguise you loaned me." He motioned to the collar of the button-up shirt, speaking of it like it was a burden forced upon him. "And, if you don't mind, I was just about to continue my rounds until you appeared." As he turned around, he unpinned the sunglasses from his shirt and covered his glaring red eyes back up with them. "Without further interruption, I must bid you ta-ta, woman~"

The lizard dismissed the group that had formed around him with a flick of a wave, but, when he tried to continue his trail through the grounds, he was halted, as his legs didn't seem to want to move. Looking down to see what was the matter, he noticed that Kuriza was still stubbornly grabbing him by the legs in defensive attachment, his grip keeping the two legs squeezed together. "Gkk! Kuri- please-"

Of course, it didn't take Bulma long to notice. "Aww... Who's that little fella you've got there?" Once the woman drew attention to the little lizard, his father let out a disgruntled sigh, his shades slightly falling and once again revealing a peek of unamused red irises.

"Oh, didn't you guys know?" Goku started answering on Frieza's behalf. "Frieza had a kiddo of his own the whole time!"

"Ah, that explains why you were asking about child admission when I got in touch with you! I just thought you were trying to pass one of your short minions off as one to get a discount or something."

Vegeta added a begrudging "Him procreating? Tch..."

The emperor continued through gritted teeth. "Yes, his name is Kuriza and he doesn't like new people, so could we just move on-"

Before he could finish, Bulma's curiosity had already overtaken her, passing Vegeta's arm barrier to her husband's dismay. She had already made her way uncomfortably close to the lizard, kneeling down to reach the further fearful Kuriza, his grip tightening and his face becoming more obscured. "That's okay. He just hasn't come out of his shell yet." Her voice became a coo. "It's okay, little guy... Miss Bulma won't hurt you!"

"Woman, please back off. He doesn't want your company." Frieza, raising his sunglasses up to his forehead, urged her, not being heard.

"Aww... Poor guy... Don't be scared!" She reached forward, further triggering the boy's fight or flight, and carefully examined the little charm tied to his scarf, flipping the token in her fingertips. "That's a cute little charm you have there, Kuriza~ Did your dad get that for you?"

"You may not want to touch that-"

"I'm not going to take it away from him, I'm just looking at it."

"Bulma!" Frieza, at the end of his rope, finally used her real name. "I really wouldn't. He-!"

He looked back down too late as the human woman let out a panicked yelp. "Oww! He bit me!" Sure enough, little Kuriza's fangs were clamped onto Bulma's finger, the other four fearfully releasing his pendant. The small creature, frightenedly unsure of how to react, was between moods, letting out a soft growl and tearing up at the same time.

"As I was trying to explain..." Frieza grumbled. "He bites when he feels threatened- and you were being quite threatening in his mind." He reached down and planted a reassuring hand on top of his son's head. "It's okay, Kuri~ Let her go now." While the younger lizard hesitated briefly, he acquiesced and allowed Bulma to withdraw her hand, shortly after transferring his hug hold by springing up onto his father's arm.

"Well, that's a lesson for later... Heh..." With a forced smile, Bulma tried to brush off the incident, rubbing at her sore finger. "I guess I'll leave you two to your business! We'll see you later at the main event!"

While both lizards were relieved in their own ways that the Briefs group was leaving, another voice, finally piping up, was not quite enthused. "Aww... But, I wanted to play with the lizard boy!" The tiny source was the small girl by Vegeta's legs, the color of her hair, tied up in a ponytail, a mix of purple and robin's egg strands.

"I know you did, Bulla, honey, but little Kuriza's not quite in the mood to play right now." While Bulma rationally explained the situation, Vegeta was taking the more protective route, trying to prod Bulla away. Perhaps it was fear of her being bitten too, or of her being 'contaminated' by an evil emperor's son.

"Okay..." Bulla disappointedly whimpered. As she was urged ahead on her way by her stubborn Saiyan father, she raised her hand to wave goodbye. "Bye-bye, then!" Her hand waving overenthusiastically at the same time rattled a small bracelet around her wrist, a few gemstone-like beads making it up- hopefully play-pretend plastic, unless they trusted a four-year-old that much. However, no matter what material it was, what mattered was its surfaces caught glimmers of light in their motions-

As well as Kuriza's attention.

The Saiyans, partial and full, and Bulma parted to one direction, while the solitary emperor and his boy went to the other. However, Kuriza, now reclaiming his prior position playing piggyback, couldn't help but look behind him as the others headed off- though the people themselves were of less interest to him than the real treasure. The bracelet continued to jangle around on its little girl owner's wrist, further tempting him with its glittering allure. "Shiny..." He near silently whispered. His movements were quiet and stealthy, taking some time before Frieza even noticed him dropping down from his back.

Bulla, past her initial disappointment of not having a new playmate, was now busily chatting with Pan, walking to the side of her. Her braceleted hand was held behind her back while her father protectively held the other one. The surrounding footsteps that formed the ambience of the tournament ground made her miss the tiny and quickly approaching patters- that was until she felt the wrist behind her being suddenly grabbed.

"Oh!" She turned around to see Kuriza attempting to take a hold on her bracelet and suddenly frozen in his tracks, realizing he had to deal with the person attached. "Hey, it's you! Hi!" The lizard wanted to draw back, but also refused to leave his prize.

Kuriza hesitated. "...Hi...?"

"It's okay. You like my bracelet, don't you?" He nodded daintily in response, just as his father worriedly approached.

"Kuri, what did I tell you about scampering off again?! That shiny thing already has a home..." The young Arcosian's attention was still diverted, continuing to be subjected to Bulla's small talk.

"My mum got me this for my birthday. It's my favorite, but I really like your little shiny thing too!" Surprisingly, Kuriza did not grow defensive of his trinket when she pointed at it, his more important goal being the new object before him. "Oh! I just remembered! You don't know my name. My name's Bulla, nice to meet'cha!"

Since the lizard's hand was already joined to her, Bulla simply grabbed his wrist in exchange to complete the handshake, causing him to slightly flinch. He knew he couldn't run away now- especially since the treasure was in close range.

Stammering, he suddenly spoke up again, his murmur making him harder to understand. "I- 'm... K-Ku-reeza... Nice to... mmm..." He mumbled, failing on the last word and looking up at his father for guidance, who simply sighed.

"Don't hurt yourself... It's an earth thing... Just say 'meet you'."

"Oh... Meet you! Nice to meet you..." He finished, suddenly triumphant but still hushed.

"Very good, Kuriza. Now come along please. This little one has other places to be- as do we." Frieza bent down to his knees to reach the young boy's level again, attempting to gently disconnect his hand from the girl's wrist. Though he was resistant to do so, Kuriza submitted to his father's grab and returned to his embrace.

"Aww, so soon...?" It wasn't the young girl who was whining, but rather her mother. "The little fella was just coming out of his shell. Didn't you see it, Frieza?"

"I did." Frieza glared. "And it was probably only because of her bracelet, so don't read too deep into it." He rose to his feet, Kuriza in tow, preparing to continue turning the other way- a simple task that he would have completed minutes ago but, with more pestering from Bulma, it became increasingly difficult.

"That's because you're not giving it a chance! Why don't you just come with us then? You'll still be able to see the grounds and the little guys can have their time together. Sounds like a win-win!"

The older lizard looked back with skepticism. "I'm not sure if he'd be... comfortable..." His vision then turned to the boy, who was trying to return to burying his face.

"It's okay!" Bulla responded with her mother's chipper and boundless enthusiasm, the arm with her bracelet raising at the same time and jangling the beads. "I'm lots of fun! I'll be his friend!"

Once shy Kuriza almost instantly popped out of his reclusion upon hearing the little beads clatter and, again captivated like a magpie to its shininess, leaned forward to get a closer look, dropping himself out of Frieza's arms in the process. He skittered over to Bulla and latched onto her braceleted wrist yet again like a magnet. "I see someone agrees!" Bulma, noticing the action, smiled.

This further hardened Frieza's glare, the action proving his argument in favor of this being the bracelet's fault and nothing else. Kuriza appeared happy, probably only because he was faced with a new shiny trinket to eye up. As he was about to make his rebuttal, surprisingly, someone else had an objection.

"Bulma, what are you trying to do?!" Vegeta's brow furrowed, trying to tug Bulla back to his side by her other hand. "Why are you setting up my-" He corrected himself. "Our princess with this little... tyrant?!"

"Vegeta, you're being ridiculous." Bulma's look equally soured. "I know he's Frieza's kid, you had some bad blood, but he's three at most." She looked down to where the children were standing, Bulla figuring out that her bracelet was like a laser pointer and moving her arm around to see if Kuriza's eyes followed- sure enough they did and his tail waggled gently. "He's not going to blow her up or anything."

"No, all I'm saying is-" The Saiyan attempted to protest further, only to be silenced by a quick peck to the cheek by Bulma, the love behind it covered by frustration.

"Just trust me, okay...?" She muttered under her breath before readopting her excitement. "Now that that's settled, shall we be on our way?" Bulma shot Frieza another sickeningly sweet smile, the lizard only folding his arms and sighing disgruntled as he followed them- skepticism in ever step.

Young Bulla seemed to be leading Kuriza along by her bracelet, making her own side of the conversation, all rather earthen topics, some of her favorite things and where to find the best snacks in the city, while he, probably not understanding most of it and playing along to remain tied to the shiny thing, let out occasional nods and mumbles of agreement. His father continued to watch the two closely to make sure they didn't get into any mischief, glaring at the girl with an air of distrust whenever she looked back up at him.

Hopefully, he wouldn't have to keep up this act for long. Soon enough, this charade would end with the passing of the tournament and he wouldn't need to set foot on this dirtball again, unless he made plans to claim its Dragon Balls- and that was a note he could relax a bit on.

Unfortunately, for him, what he didn't realize was that unfolding before him was the beginning of a long friendship that would persist for years to come.

So much for that idea...

[since-it-must-be-so]

A Wild Sheep Chase: Chapter 2 of Choujin X!

It's here! I've gushed about the chapter over at my Twitter, but like I said in my previous post, I want to see how the story progresses and keep a log about it. So here it goes!

Background info on Ely Otsuta

So before we delve into Chapter 2 which almost exclusively featured Ely... Let's take note of the new things we learned about Ely:

She's from a rural prefecture. I think she lives in the mountainside specifically since that's where she grows her tomatoes.

She's a greenthumb (we already kinda knew this from the previous chapter but we learn more about her life pre-Choujin X). I understand that even if the soil is infertile, she's able to grow tomatoes so nutritious and plump. So plump, they resemble butts, hence, "bumbums!" It appears she uses advanced equipment for her farming stuff. So yeah, based on these, it's established Ely has a green thumb!

Oh, and it appears that it's clarified that her "Grandpapi" whom she talks about in the 1st chapter is an adoptive grandfather (not biological, hence, maybe in the future we'd know her parents and learn why Ely is special).

It's just me but I get the impression that Ely is being introduced as some sort of "fertility" choujin, since she also dreams of having 9 kids. Haha!

It's kinda weird though why the burning tomato has a face. Was it just from her dream, since after plucking a bumbum - she woke up? Hmm, after some thought, I think the burning tomato with a face is just from her dream.

Ely Wakes Up from Reality

When Ely woke up, she finds herself in the South Yamato prefecture. Okay, so I think this leaning tower of some sort has a significance to the story.

It's featured in every spread with the title "Choujin X" and also in the last chapter. Can you see it? Maybe it has something to do with how the powers are made, like pollution-related or a botched experiment. Dunno. Just my wild speculation.

A Wild Sheep Chase

This is the exciting part. So when Ely wakes up, Chandra Hume offers to "escort" her, but really it appears he wants to kidnap her. And from, *checks the manga* page 10 to 40, we have Ely running away from Chandra until she fell in what looks like a similar area where Tokio and Azuma fought Johnny Kiyoshi Takeyama.

The chase sequence consisting of 30 pages were so fun and I was smiling all the while I was reading! Ely is so cute trying to parkour her way through the buildings (kinda reminds me of Touka?? I miss Touka!). Chandra looks really cool, he seemed to be flying too, using his powers (more on that later)!

But not to be outdone, Ely borrows a "Roller Boy Yay-Yay" which basically is a scooter with something that resembles a driver's wheel. Its literal translation of ローラーBOYイェイ・イェイ -- which, checking Twitter and in Ishida's latest live stream, I think the locals found it hilarious too. Ishida is just unleashing his crazy here, I love it!

After that sequence, we get the tractor and sheep chase. Ah! I love it.. So what happened is that, Chandra and Ely fall off from their Roller Boy Yay-Yay. Ely who just claimed she can outrun Chandra if she were riding a tractor, suddenly found one right in front of her! Then Chandra lands near a gang... or should I say, a flock of sheep-bikers. They're all wearing these Kanji-printed tracksuits and basically look like they're a bunch of delinquents? They even describe themselves as "cryptid bikers"... Cryptid supposedly means mysterious? Idk why the weird choice of words for the translation though.

Funnily, I was just reading Haruki Murakami's A Wild Sheep Chase (羊をめぐる冒険 --- Hitsuji o meguru bōken or literally An Adventure Surrounding Sheep). I wonder if this scene something to do with this book?

Anyway, Chandra entices the sheep to help hip capture Ely by bribing them with a Docomo flip phone. I don't know why a flip phone - could mean the following: (a) the sheep are so poor, a flip phone is cool; (b) maybe flip phones are a status symbol in that universe; (c) maybe the setting is in the 2000s when the flip phones really were all the rage.

So they all chase Ely, but Chandra suddenly has a car too. Someone on Twitter said it's a Porsche? But I can't tell, though Chandra said his car is a four-wheel drive... Heh? Idk what to do with this info.

As for Ely, she is really good with the tractor as she said. The hilarity of outrunning motorcycles and what could be a Porsche. That tractor prowess! Later on, Chandra and the other sheep figure into an accident with a "safety-loving" truck (oh the irony, lol). Chandra flew off the car and so did his fancy shoes...

Ely didn't exactly come out unscathed. Ishida allocated 4 double spreads for this epic fall. Some of the sheep definitely should have died from that spectacular accident.

At first, Ely was smug about escaping the sheep. But then, I think she was moved by compassion and I think she hurt herself in order to revive the sheep. I just wonder though, how she learned to do that?

Then we get another awesome double spread of her transformation, similar to Tokio's. Augh Ishida-sensei. These are soooo good!!!!

Because of her transformation, the whole area was engulfed with smoked and I think the sheep were effectively revived. It appears Chandra saw all this (while he was regenerating... so we now know choujins or at least smoke choujins like Chandra has regenerative powers), hence he marveled at Ely's newfound power. It was kinda confirmed that Ely was responsible for keeping the casualties to a minimum. Specifically he said Ely possesses: quick judgment, though resolve, persistence... making her a human with the makings of a choujin... while also kinda noting Ely's silliness.

Here we go again with Chandra's "fancy gentleman" facade... Even the way he talks is fancy ("I am well-acquainted with the roads here") but more than that... he's self-important. I talked about my other views on his character on Reddit. I get the impression he's something of a "Choujin supremacist", you know what I mean? So, he wants to kinda recruit Ely into his organization or whatever.

Ely is righteous

So we see that Ely is further introduced as a good character, standing up against Chandra and rejecting his offer to be his pupil or something. Ely was clearly upset about the grandma getting hurt (did she die? I hope she didn't) and made it clear she would never join him. Chandra takes offense at this rejection, especially when Ely said Chandra is worse than a turd.

As Chandra tries to inflict pain on Ely (something about marking her on the face), she recalls her resolve from Chapter 1: drones for farming, a greenhouse, her grandpappy, a mansion, the big dog, paying back the kid for his roller boy yay-yay, the Goldilocks hubbie, nine kids... But just before we can see if she can fight Chandra off...

The most handsome man of all Sui Ishida's works (haha!)

This buff mysterious man with a bandana reminiscent of the Teenage Ninja Mutant Turtles seemed to have blown Chandra and Ely (also the cars and motorcycles) away by a mere clap of his hands. It appears even Chandra is afraid of this guy and recognizes him... he leaves the scene using his smoke powers before the guy can do serious damage. I think his power has something to do with wind since there was like a little hint with all the ventilation stuff in the setting.

The guy manages to create a circle of protection around Ely. He tells Ely that Chandra's modus is to target "people with aptitude like Ely". He helpfully mends Ely's punctured hand with his bandana.... And when Ely looks up at his face, what do you know? Haha!

Our girl Ely has a love interest! Haha.

Tokio's Gregor Samsa moment

I've observed from the manga I've read that characters with transformation abilities always, always go through this adjustment period with the power. Gregor Samsa, Peter Parker, our boy Kaneki... Anyway, it seems Tokio doesn't know or can't turn back into a normal-looking person. But the last panel sure is interesting because we have them experiencing this transformation at the same time. Also, since it reminds me of Touka and Ayato's volume cover. I hope they find each other soon though!

Types of Choujins and initial premises on the Power of Choujins

So there are 3 confirmed types so far: Flexi (Johnny), Bestial (our boy Tokio), and Smoke. It seems that pretty boy Hoshi doesn't have a category yet, but like I said I think his has something to do with air or ventilation lol.

We learned that Chandra is a Smoke Choujin, and Ely is now one too and she was may have been somehow infected by Chandra's smoke/fumes. It appears now that there are 2 ways to become a choujin: injection and inhalation. Chandra wonders if Ely was infected with his power... But I'm thinking the infection theory might not be that accurate. After all, it seems Ely has a green thumb.

But, I think as Chandra said, only some people have an aptitude for this. So, Ely and Tokio are examples. I wonder if Azuma also has choujin powers or did it not manifest yet? Is the aptitude inherent or something you can acquire? If so, what does Tokio have that Azuma doesn't, especially since everyone thinks Azuma is "better" than Tokio in all aspects?

We'll find out in Chapter 3 more or less!! I'm sorry for any grammar mistakes! I'd like to hear your thoughts or comments if any :)

[victorsandvanquishers]

The Fall of the House of Usher with the Black Bulls? Bonus points if you add some eerie aura to it, but that is totally up to you! Thank you in advance!

Hello! Thank you for requesting this fic. I took the liberty to apply some more themes from “The Fall of the House of Usher” than just the prompt’s family, eerie, and home themes. Twins, legacy, and of course, the quintessential haunted house, are also explored in this story!

As a sidenote - this fanfic features an ensemble cast, but primarily revolves around Secre and Zagred. Happy reading, and thank you again for requesting! (ᵔᴥᵔ)

~~~

Zagred haunts her. In a mansion overflowing with people and endless cheer, he haunts her.

“You had five hundred years to make peace. I had to die and then wake up as a ghost, with all the same pain and memories I had when I was still alive. I possessed a human being. You spent your life sitting on top of a statue before finding a boy to manipulate into doing your bidding.”

As she makes her way through the winding halls of the grand castle, Secre remembers speaking with Patolli of the Elf tribe few times in her five hundred and seventeen years. Still, there are words reverberating through her head in his voice, words he's never spoken to her since he barely knows her. Patolli barely remembered her when they met face to face again after the souls of the dead elves ascended, and she can't blame him. She'd been a crown prince's servant – her existence was meant for the shadows.

And yet, that's not how it is now. There aren't enough shadows in Henry Legolant's mansion for Secre Swallowtail to hide in.

“I can't change my actions, nor can I change my feelings, but you... You pretend like you've always cared. At least I did what I did out of rage, even if it was misguided, but you spent five hundred years chasing a rock. Who can you blame for your eternity of longing? You could have chosen death in those five hundred years, but you chose to wait instead because you had an inkling of hope that your beloved could be brought back.”

Secre swallows the lump in her throat and makes her way down the small flight of stairs. It seems her room is on the second floor of the grand castle today, instead of the fourth floor she'd walked up to the night before. The landing is buzzing with Luck Voltia's electric currents, and what she senses to be Charmy Pappitson's cotton magic. The smell of freshly baked bread gently wafts through the landing, infecting each and every one of her senses with the kindness and love she's been starving for, for five hundred years.

It's hunger, this feeling, not longing because the longing she had for Lumiere is moot now, because Lumiere is dust. He's the ash at the bottom of a fire pit in the early rays of dawn, but the hunger she feels now is something different, something more manic, something that slept quietly in her chest during her time as a bird, but suddenly awoke when she came across the fifteen-year-old boy who desperately reminded her of a dead dream, a dream where she and her Lumiere had a child, a child that doesn't exist.

It's this hunger that finally compelled her to stop using that fifteen-year-old boy for her own agenda. It's the hunger that drives her now, that drives her to protect that boy and his friends, to look at the shadows of Henry Legolant's castle with love instead of fear because now the shadows can help her to find the best spots to launch an attack if someone tries to hurt the boy and his friends, these human beings that are filling the hole in Secre's heart.

Atonement? I was fifteen when I died, fifteen when I woke up again. How can you look at me like I'm trash when you were the one who received the mercy of time when all I received was uncontrollable rage at knowing that no matter what I did in the end, I could never bring back what I lost? How can you look at me with such disdain knowing you're worse?”

Perhaps that's why her Lumiere is dead now. She has to pay for her negligence of a child who looked to her as a companion. It doesn't matter that Asta forgives her, that the others see her as a part of their family, none of it matters because Secre committed the same sin as Patolli, used a depressed, lonely boy to commit violence in the name of her beloved, used Asta to revive her Lumiere to defeat Zagred, just like Patolli used William Vangeance to revive his Licht, the Licht that never loved Patolli like Patolli loved him.

Just like the way Lumiere never loved her the way she loved him.

“You're worse than I will ever be, Secre of the noble house of Swallowtail. You're a filthy noblewoman who had everything and pretended she had nothing. You deserve this pain more than I do. You deserved to lose your Lumiere after five hundred years of waiting. You deserved to be strung along like the little rat that you are.”

It stings, but it's true, and maybe that's why Secre is still here and not dead at the bottom of a river. Zagred haunts her because he knows her. Zagred knows her as intimately as the verdant forests of the Forbidden Realm know the sun. Secre starves for kindness and warmth, just like Zagre starves for a corporeal body. Secre didn't kill herself in her five hundred years as a bird because for her, it was a blip on the radar, nothing more than an obstacle for her to get past to bring back her most precious light, her Lumiere. Nothing was sacred in that quest – not the fifteen-year-old boy who cried for magic so that he wouldn't be discriminated against, not the Magic Knights who were too daft to notice that she wasn't just an ordinary bird, and certainly not the nobles who were too ignorant to notice how they themselves sowed the seeds of dissent in their own kingdom. For Secre, none of it mattered because only Lumiere mattered.

And Zagred knows, and so he haunts her.

He takes on the voice of an elf she barely knows, and he finds her deepest, most repressed feelings before snatching them from the depths of her chest and bringing them into the light. Zagred forces her to admit that she's no different than the elf who almost sacrificed the entirety of the kingdom to bring back his brethren. Patolli of the Elf tribe barely knows her, and she barely knows Patolli of the Elf tribe, but Zagred knows her more than Lumiere ever did, and so he haunts her, haunts her under the guise of an elf who'd murdered countless human beings and managed to get away with it all. Patolli is her long-lost twin, and Zagred will never let her forget it.

“Demon.”

She walks into the dining hall, the tables already decked with food, beverage, and cutlery. The voice has shifted now, becoming more and more like the creature it belongs to, and not the elf who escaped.

Secre attempts a smile on her saturnine face, and finds that the effort hurts. She stops before Charmy and Luck can get a look at her. They're occupied with putting on the finishing touches to the overflowing table, Luck setting booby traps on Magna Swing's plate and fork, while Charmy instructs her sheep to pack food for the magical beasts living in the castle dungeons. They don't notice her yet, because she's a wraith in her own right, a ghost drifting from room to room.

“Oh, you're up,” she hears Yami Sukehiro drawl. She turns to the taller man, also an early-riser but just as clandestine as Secre. There's a cigarette hanging from his mouth, and his clothes smell like fresh leaves and dew, so she suspects he was out training in the forest before Charmy can ring her breakfast bells.

Secre nods in assent and turns back to the two young adults who've finally noticed her and are waving her over to take a seat. She attempts another smile, and this time, something resembling a smirk appears on her lips, but it still hurts, because Secre isn't used to smiling. She didn't smile when she and her Lumiere used to spend hours poring over books and tinkering around with magic in the castle yards. She knows little about how to socialize, but she tries. She tries because Zagred will kill her otherwise, under the guise of her spiritual twin, the elf named Patolli who has left Clover without being punished for his crimes.

“But I'm not really here, am I, Secre Swallowtail?”

“Nero, there you are!” Asta calls out, barging into the breakfast hall with his cleaning outfit already coated with dust and mud. “I was wondering where you went!”

“She came down to eat like a normal person,” Yami deadpans before bonking the boy on the head with a closed fist. Asta screeches in pain before passing out for ten seconds. When he wakes up, his eyes are sparkling with endearment, and Charmy has a pail of food ready for the beasts in the dungeon.

“I'll be right back,” Asta declares with more sparkles than necessary, and then he disappears, and Zagred's voice gets just a little lower.

“And he's not your son.”

Secre blinks, her red eyes going redder. No one notices, not even Yami who is dangerously observant at times. She looks down at the plate that Luck has filled up for her. Her ears perk up at the sound of Vanessa Enoteca's tell-tale yawns, and her eyes land on Rouge the cat, who cocks its head to the side and watches her, its fur as red as her eyes.

“And they aren't yours to protect.”

Patolli the elf's voice is gone now. It's Zagred, the demon, the being who knows her better than Lumiere, the creature who stole everything from her, her life, her light, her humanity.

Secre's eyes bleed red and she wants to destroy, wants to burn down everything in her path because she's hollow, her soul is corrupted, and she's one step away from becoming a monster like Licht, a monster that Asta and the Black Bulls will have to euthanize once she loses control.

“Nero-san? Is everything alright?” Secre hears, finding that the rage vanishes suddenly. She blinks a couple of times to completely wash away the reverie before turning to the familiar voices.

It's Grey and Gordon, their eyes filled with worry. Noelle is right behind them, pretending she isn't concerned, but her fists are balled in her lap and she's pensive, waiting for Secre to answer their question.

“I'm fine,” she says, the plastic smile budding on her lips, “just hungry.”

“Then you should eat!” Noelle squeaks, because she can't help herself when she's worried, and now Grey is shakily piling too many warm biscuits onto her plate while Gordon is pouring her coffee, and Charmy is singing, and Yami is smoking, and there is warmth, and love, and cheer, and Asta is back, and Asta is everything she's ever hoped her child would be, a beacon of hope in the darkness she's always lived in.

“Thank you,” Secre says.

'Fuck you.' She hisses inwardly at Zagred's voice, Zagred who is only dead in his corporeal form, but not in essence, because demons don't die.

“But we're cousins now.” Zagred coos back, because Zagred knows her intimately, the demon that set her tragedies in motion, who wants her to lose her mind when her grief becomes as all-encompassing as Licht's, and she becomes a demon herself.

Because that's what she is now – one step from becoming a demon.

She looks around the table at the family of misfits, all of them unrelated to her in every shape and form, and yet fundamentally her family – her lifeblood. Her Lumiere always told her to find her own happiness, but he had been her happiness, but now her Lumiere is dust, and she's still alive.

She attempts to smile again, and this time, Yami smiles indulgently at her efforts while Magna asks her if she wants more biscuits, even though there are seven biscuits on her plate.

Zagred haunts her, and Lumiere is dust. Patolli is her spiritual twin, and Asta and the Black Bulls are the children she never dared to ask for, for fear of retribution. Her light is gone, and the demon persists, but now she has this – this castle and this home, these shadows she has grown to love.

“I'll see you soon.” Zagred promises her.

And the red of her eyes bleed redder, because Secre isn't worried. When the time comes, she will trust her family to take care of her like her Lumiere took care of Licht. Because this castle, this home, is testament to the faith that they will put her to rest when the time comes.

“Thank you,” she says again, and takes a bite from her biscuit.

*

[ouranonymouswitch]

Desolation. A short about necromancy, dinosaurs, and a broken heart.

Poppy wasn’t like everyone else. Her interests weren’t the same and it showed. During her many days of school she studied anything but what she should have been. The idea of bringing back what was once lost rolled through her mind and entertained her imagination. No one expected Poppy’s imagination to become a reality. 

By the time she finished high school she had prepared for years. She would start small, bringing back to life her family pet that was buried in the backyard. The feeling of ecstasy she felt was unlike any other. Poppy hid the puppy for days, loving and cherishing the animal she had recovered from the Earth. It wasn’t until a few days later that she noticed something wasn’t right. Her beloved pet was almost catatonic, not responding to any emotion or touch that she provided. 

One night, while Poppy sat on the ground of her bedroom tugging and poking at the animal something unexpected happened. Her parents walked in to regard some useless chit-chat she’d never find out. When they saw the monstrosity on the ground of her bedroom they screamed and kicked the now dismembered and broken corpse against the wall. Poppy’s mother begged and prayed that she would never try this again. That it would be just a passing phase. After all, how would God feel about the choices she had made that got her to this moment.

Poppy didn’t budge. This is who she wanted to be. She wanted to never feel the pain of death of those around her again and she’d try over and over to achieve this dream. Enraged, her father grabbed her by the forearm and drug her outside of the house, throwing her into the mud without a second glance. She wasn’t welcome at her forgotten home now. She wasn’t welcome by her family and she wasn’t welcome by the town.

Chased away from civilization the young woman continued to travel the dirt paths and winding roads with the few items she had managed to scavenge before being formally exiled. She had snagged her grimoire, a few coins, and a heart shaped locket given to her by a friend she used to hold dear to her heart. 

The next town that Poppy settled down in was named Franklin. She managed to get a job as a florist and made enough money to live a modest life in an apartment against the outer rings of town. She practiced in silence for months before she was found out again. This time by the pentacles that surrounded a piece of paper she was jotting down ideas on. Her own friend has sounded the alarms of her execution. 

The young witch ran away. Not looking back at the town that wanted her death. This trend of being found out and running away continued for years until Poppy finally found a place where she’d stay. She made a life for herself as a high school teacher, working with students who had a harder time learning than most. It was a fulfilling job truly, but the itch to continue her work always caused her to practice magick at her home and other hidden places.

For years no one saw the work. Poppy even found a man to love her. He was charming, soft, and intelligible. But above all else, he was the first person to accept Poppy for who she was truly. He knew of her necromancy and helped keep her moral, not ever letting Poppy take the work too far. For lack of better terms he was her rock. 

Perhaps the two would have been able to live their lives together until the end if not for that one unfortunate night. That cruel night with unforgiving winds and never ending downpour. Poppy took just a little too long coming home and the scene she walked into was something no one could forget. Her husband’s corpse was sprawled on the ground, encompassed by a pool of his own blood. 

Poppy’s breath was hitched and her hands quickly covered her mouth to hold back a horrified scream. She cried out her lover’s name and kneeled beside him, embracing his body as the tears only a broken heart could make rolling down her cheeks. As she rocked back and forth with the body of her only friend she heard a crackle against her chest. She looked down to see a piece of paper sticking out of the pocket of his shirt.

With hesitation Poppy grabbed the ominous letter. It was stained with blood and ink that created four poorly written words:

“Down with the Witch”.

All feelings of sorrow and despair seemed to leave her body as a new dream came to her mind. Poppy stood up and walked to her shelf grabbing her grimoire and letting out a deep breath. She leaned down to place a gentle kiss on her husband’s forehead, saying a few last sweet words and loving goodbyes before walking out the door with a determined expression on her face. 

The scorned witch walked to a nearby archaeology site. The rain rolling across her warm, pale skin as lightning cracked behind her. Her tears no longer discernible from the cold water on her face. She walked through the equipment, gates, and coverings as if they were not there to begin with. 

She only stopped once she stood over the bones of dinosaurs in front of her. The world's largest expedition would soon be the cause of something unexpected. Poppy slid down the hole until she stood on top of the skull of a spinosaurus. Her eyes scanned the figure, as if she was questioning herself one last time before she began. 

They had taken the one thing that Poppy loved. Now it was her turn to make the world pay. For all the hurt they caused her, for all the towns that had tried to kill her or ran her out, all the friends she lost for accusations she’d never do. They wanted to paint her as a bad guy. Now she’d become the bad guy.

She kneeled down, placed a hand on the bones and a hand on her book. She started the ritual, mumbling words of reincarnation, life, and death. Promising a purpose to the creatures she was about to bring back to life. After a few long moments the ground began to tremble, the corpse of something once lost returning under her creation. 

Poppy crawled out of the hole and made her way to another, and another, and another. Until an army of hungry zombies stood in front of her. The rain washed off the dirt and rocks that clung to their bones. Poppy stared at her biggest feat yet, but admiration didn’t fill her heart as it once did. A numbness had drained all of Poppy’s compassion and morality. This wasn’t about reviving the dead. It was about avenging her lover and it was too late to stop the chaos coming.

She gingerly touched the grimoire she loved so much before dropping it in the mud. With her now free hand she pointed in front of her, the creatures beginning to march forward without hesitation. 

“Kill them all,” was the last words Poppy would ever speak. 

[smkkbert]

We ended as Lovers (9/12)

Summary: Three years ago, Felicity’s life was perfect. She was offered a job at two great companies. Her boyfriend just started his own fashion label, and they picked a perfect apartment to live in together. The more heartbroken she was when Oliver got cold feet and it all ended. Now, Felicity is coming back to Starling City, well aware that she is destined to run into her ex-boyfriend there. While old feelings revive quickly, the pain still goes deep. Besides, for some reason Oliver seems to be angry with her. 

Previous Chapters: 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8 or read on Ao3

* * *

Chapter 9: The old-fashioned way

Closing her eyes, Felicity took some deep breaths. She still felt like she was on the edge of breaking down or flipping out or some other hysterical reaction to everything that had happened yesterday. She just knew that she couldn’t let that happen today.

This wasn’t her day and, as the good friend that she wanted to be, she didn’t want to make it about her. All she had to do was make sure that Sara spend a comfortable and enjoyable morning before they would head to the mansion to get dressed and ready for the wedding. After she hadn’t had it in her to stay at Sara’s side and help her through the first evening with her mother and her sister in years, the least she could do was make it up by being the perfect maid-of-honor today.

Felicity shook her head when she thought back to how she had come to Starling, telling herself that she would focus on Sara and Nyssa’s wedding as well as her deal with Queen Consolidated. In hindsight, she had done a lot, but that. She had closed the deal with Robert, but she had done way too little for her friends.

Taking in another deep breath, Felicity eventually found the courage to knock at Sara’s doors. She had already lifted her hand, but the buzzing of her phone distracted her before the knuckles of her hand met the door.

While Felicity was pulling her phone from the back pocket of her jeans, it buzzed yet again.

TQ: I wanted to wake Nyssa with breakfast in bed, but she was out for a run. Girl doesn’t know what it means to be a bride on her wedding day.

TQ: How are working things out for you and Sara?

Felicity smiled, shaking her head at the thought of how disappointed Thea must have been when she hadn’t found Nyssa sleeping in her bed. Thea was certainly not a traditional kind of person, but she did love wedding traditions. She had been the one to suggest that Sara and Nyssa spent the last night before their wedding apart. When Sara and Nyssa had agreed, Felicity and Thea had decided that they should make sure the brides were spending a good morning that allowed them to get in the right mood for the wedding already.

FS: Just arrived, so we’ll see. I’m sure Sara isn’t out for a run though.

Sara loved sports. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have the muscular body that she had. Unlike Nyssa, she wasn’t that kind of person that jumped out of bed before eight to run a dozen miles before breakfast. Felicity had lived with her long enough to know that.

With that thought in mind, Felicity nodded at the door. It was opened immediately, and Sara stood at the other side, a bright smile taking over her entire face.

“I almost thought you would never knock.”

Chuckling, Felicity lifted her phone and waggled it in front of Sara’s face.

“I was about to do so when Thea distracted me.”

“How is my wife-to-be?” Sara asked. “Does she get cold feet because I could swear that, if anyone gets cold feet, it’s going to be her and-“

“Nyssa is fine enough to anger Thea by escaping the mansion for a run.”

“So, she’s perfect.”

Sara beamed with happiness at the news, knowing that Nyssa being her usual self was a good sign on a crazy day like this. She’d only be worried if her wife-to-be gave up what she loved to give into Thea’s ideas for the wedding day. Until that happened, it was safe to say that Nyssa was feeling great, which meant that she would probably show up at the altar.

Felicity couldn’t see her skip her wedding either way. Firstly, Nyssa loved Sara so much that she certainly wouldn’t miss the wedding. Secondly, Nyssa might be bolt, but she knew that Thea would chase her to the end of the world if she did anything to ruin this day.

At least in some ways, this was Thea’s big day after all. She had put so much time and energy into organizing all of this that she certainly didn’t want anything or anyone to ruin it for her or the brides.

“You look perfect too,” Felicity said eventually, looking Sara up and down, “not at all like a nervous bride.”

“My heart does feel like it wants to jump out of my chest.” Sara took in a deep breath, still beaming with happiness. “I do feel very well-rested though.”

At least one of them, Felicity thought, but she didn’t let that show. She just continued smiling back at her friend.

“I guess Thea made sure of that?”

“Is there anything she didn’t make sure of?” Sara chuckled. “I didn’t drink much last night and then Thea made sure that I didn’t get home late. That way, I had a good couple of hours of sleep.”

“I guess the wedding can come then?”

“The sooner, the better.”

Beyond happy for Sara, Felicity pulled her friend into her arms and hugged her tightly. She couldn’t possibly be happier for Sara and Nyssa. They hadn’t always had it easy, so it meant all the more that they finally got their happy ending.

Eventually, the two friends released the other from the hug. Sara laced her fingers through Felicity’s and pulled her with her into the spacious living area. She had already set the table, so they could just sit down and start having breakfast.

Pouring both of them a mug of coffee, Felicity bit down on her tongue. After what had happened last night, she wanted and needed to know if Sara and Nyssa had had at least a little fun. Felicity just didn’t want that question to turn into a conversation about what had happened between her, Oliver and Adrian. Today was just not the day for it.

“It sucks that you missed the rehearsal dinner.”

Surprised by Sara’s words, Felicity lifted her gaze to find Sara’s eyes already on her. She took her in intensely, her eyes just slightly narrowed. It was like she had seen in Felicity’s face that she had wanted to know about this, but that she just hadn’t known how to address.

“Was it good?”

“Great even.” Sara nodded her head and bit into her croissant. “The food was delicious. The atmosphere was good. I didn’t kill my mother or Laurel which I am very proud of. It was the best way I could have spent the evening before my wedding.”

“Sounds great.”

Felicity wished that she could have been with Sara during that evening. These last three years, they didn’t have many chances to spend time together and a wedding was such an important part of a person’s life. Felicity should have been there with her. Well, Felicity guessed she could add that to the long list of things her father and Adrian had ruined for her.

Although she could taste those words on the tip of her tongue, she didn’t say them. She knew that Sara would feel sorry for her, and that was the last thing she wanted. If someone should feel sorry, it was Felicity.

“I am sorry, Sara,” she whispered without thinking about it twice, “for that scene yesterday. That was supposed to be your and Nyssa’s day, and I ruined it for you with that scene. There is nothing I can say to excuse it. I am just really sorry.”

Sara frowned slightly, shaking her head. She dropped her croissant to her plate and reached out her hand. She grabbed Felicity’s hand and squeezed it.

“You didn’t ruin anything for us,” she said honestly, “because the evening wasn’t ruined. Even if it had been ruined, it wouldn’t have been your fault. Adrian was the one who caused all of that mess.”

Rationally, Felicity knew that Sara was right. Oliver had confronted Adrian, and he had attacked him, so it would have been his fault rather than hers. Not even Oliver could be blamed for his actions though, not with everything Adrian had done to them the last few years.

Felicity still felt her stomach tighten when she thought about how she had spent the last three years, thinking that Adrian was one of the best friends that she had ever had. She had texted him about a lot of things that had happened to her in Gotham and in Hub City, making sure he was updated, so they would keep in touch with each other. And all the time, he had just wanted to increase Oliver’s miserableness.

“So, what happened after you left?” Sara asked eventually, cocking her head. “John Diggle mentioned that you were looking for Oliver, and he sat you into a limousine to take you home.”

Taking in a deep breath as her memory still made her stomach clench, Felicity nodded her head. She wished she could buy time before she really told Sara what had happened, but maybe it was better to just tell her now. After that, they could change the subject and just go on. The longer she’d wait, the more the subject would hover over them like a dark cloud.

“I went to OJQ. He was there and-,“ Felicity tried to find the right words for the destruction he had caused, “took everything apart. Papers, designs, furniture.”

“Sounds a lot like Ollie.” Sara nodded her head. “Let’s just hope that he didn’t destroy the designs for the collection he is supposed to present in a couple of days because there have been months of work in that, and Moira is going to kill him.”

Felicity managed a weak smile, but she doubted that it reached her eyes. From the way she had seen Oliver, Felicity thought that it wasn’t impossible that he had destroyed the designs for his newest collection. He had been blind from rage.

“I guess Adrian’s words really hit him.”

Felicity nodded her head, feeling her throat growing shut. A thick lump was building there, almost making it hard to breathe.

“Did you two talk about what you want to do with that news now?” Sara asked and took another bite from her croissant. “I mean I get why you have been so angry with each other for the past three years now, but that anger was based on false information and Adrian’s intrigue. Maybe there is a way for you to-“

“We didn’t talk,” Felicity interrupted Sara, shaking her head, “because neither of us was feeling like it yesterday. Besides, I am not really sure that there is a lot to talk about either.”

Sara perked up an eyebrow doubtingly, and Felicity got it. Although Felicity hadn’t told her that she had had sex with Oliver twice since she had come back to Starling City, Sara had certainly caught up on the attraction that was still there between them. As many angry feelings as there had been between them, it must have been impossible to miss.

Attraction wasn’t enough to fix the break that had gone through the relationship they had had. Three years of bottling up angry feelings for each other was a lot to overcome. Even with all motives bursting like a bubble, it didn’t change that they had had those feelings inside of them for years. Felicity wasn’t sure that there was an easy way back from that.

Three years. It was just so incredibly long.

“I think you two have a lot to talk about,” Sara said quietly, “even if it’s just for the sake of getting a clean cut.”

A clean cut was the only thing she had hoped to get from her stay in Starling City when it came to Oliver and her. She had given up on getting this clean cut days ago already. Maybe this was her second chance at getting this clean cut after all.

Sara shook her head. “If I just think about how you could have still been together now if it wasn’t for Adrian and his lies, I could just-“

“We shouldn’t talk about this,” Felicity interrupted Sara and shook her head firmly, “because today is just not about that or about me. Today is all about you and Nyssa.”

Sara rolled her eyes. “Just because it’s my wedding day, I won’t just forget the basic rules of friendship. If one friend suffers, the other is morally obligated to have an open ear to listen.”

“Not on her wedding day,” Felicity insisted with another shake of her head, “but after today we can gladly meet again and catch up.”

“Nyssa and I are leaving for Thailand tomorrow morning.” Sara smiled. “We try to escape the trouble before Nyssa has to be on the runway for OJQ’s next fashion show.”

“So we meet and catch up after that.” Felicity shrugged her shoulders. “We will make it work.”

“Hopefully, because we haven’t spent enough time together since you moved to Gotham.”

“True.” Felicity nodded her head. “We will change that though. I promise.”

Sara smiled with satisfaction, and Felicity smiled back at her. She knew that she hadn’t invested enough time or courage into making sure she was seeing her friend regularly. She would change that now.

 * * *

 “Wow.” Felicity looked herself up and down in the mirror thoroughly. “You really worked miracles on me.”

Given how crappy she had looked about an hour ago, Felicity felt like that really wasn’t exaggerated. After the sleepless night that she had had, she really looked terrible. Her skin had been pale. Dark shadows had shown under her eyes. Everything about her had looked shiftless and exhausted.

After the one-hour-procedure she had been put through by the two hair and make-up stylists, she barely recognized herself in the mirror. She looked like she was a natural beauty despite all the layers of make-up on her face. With Oliver’s dress, the light updo of her hair and make-up that consisted of several layers and still looked so very natural, she really looked stunning.

“I really think that’s an underestimation,” the stylist said and shot Felicity a look back over her shoulder, “because we work magic on a daily basis. This was so much more than that.”

Felicity knew that she should probably be offended about this commentary, but she couldn’t help herself. She didn’t mind. The stylist was saying the truth anyway.

Turning away from the mirror, Felicity looked at Sara. She was still in the comfortable leather chair while two people were working on her hair and two others were making sure that her make-up was perfect. The same situation with half the people had stressed Felicity out minutes ago, but Sara was just leaning back with her eyes closed. She looked like she enjoyed it, but she was probably used to this and worse from the photoshoots she had done for OJQ.

“So, lovely bride,” Felicity said with a smile and stepped as close to Sara as the stylists allowed her to, “is there anything your maid of honor can do to fulfill her duty?”

“Actually, there is.”

Sara made a movement with her hand, and all stylists let go of her immediately. They distanced themselves, giving Sara and Felicity some room. When Sara turned her chair around, so she was facing her, Felicity took two steps closer to her, doing her best to ignore the pain in her ankle.

She would have to spend most of the evening on her chair, resting her foot after wearing high heels during the ceremony. Since the dress had been fit with high heels on, she didn’t have much a choice but wearing the planned pair of high heels. It made her foot hurt like hell, but it was better than risking stumbling over her feet and breaking her ankle once and for all.

“Could you please check on Nyssa for me?” Sara pushed her bottom lip forward and looked at Felicity pleadingly. “I am not worried that she has run off. I know she will be there, but I just need to hear from someone I trust that she is really doing fine.”

Felicity smiled and winked at Sara. “I will make sure she gets everything she needs to be all relaxed when she’s supposed to say yes.”

“Thank you, Felicity.”

Felicity only winked once more before she turned towards the door. By the time she had reached it, the stylists were back to turning Sara into the elegant bride she wanted to be. She looked utterly relaxed being made up like that.

Closing the door behind her, Felicity turned to the northern wing of the mansion which was where Nyssa was being styled for the wedding. Thea had organized everything to the second, making sure that both brides had the space they needed to get ready for the ceremony and they wouldn’t run into each other before they were supposed to.

When Felicity crossed the gallery upstairs, she saw all the hustle and bustle that was going on downstairs. People were hurrying around, putting the last pieces into place. The first guests had probably arrived already too. There were always some early birds who thought that it was best to come quite some time before the wedding. With the expansive champagne the Queens certainly offered, Felicity got it.

Felicity stepped into the hallway of the northern wing. She was focusing on walking evenly the way she should during the ceremony later. With her injured ankle, it wasn’t easy, but she was doing the best she could. The more she practiced now, the more hopeful she was that she would get this right later.

Turning into the hallway to her right, Felicity stopped as she saw Oliver tugging Thea into one of the rooms. She sucked her bottom lip between her front teeth and looked back over her shoulder. From her time with Oliver, she knew that there was another way to the guest room where Nyssa was being prepared for the wedding. She wasn’t sure if she would still find it though, and, even if she did, her foot would protest at it.

For a split second, Felicity considered going back and telling Sara that Nyssa was fine. After all the times that she had screwed up being the friend for Sara that she wanted to be, she felt that it would be utterly wrong to do so.

Straightening her shoulders, Felicity did her best to pass through the hallway as quickly as possible without listening to what was happening behind the door where Thea and Oliver had disappeared.

She had already walked past it when she heard her name being said. She faltered, wondering if she shouldn’t just continue her way to Nyssa’s room nonetheless. Her nosiness won at the end. As quietly as possible, she took some steps back. Since the door had been left ajar, she could push it a little more open without anyone noticing.

Oliver and Thea were standing in the middle of what looked like another living room, somewhere to read a good book or draw a new painting. While Thea was all dressed up and prepared for the wedding, Oliver had the bowtie wrapped around the collar of his shirt loosely. He wasn’t wearing the jacket of his smoking yet, and the shirt wasn’t stuffed under the waistband of his pants.

“What good is that going to do, Ollie?” Thea asked her brother in response to whatever he had said before. “Felicity and I are friends, and I told her that I didn’t want to be torn into any of this. I am not the one who had anything to make up to her either. It would just mean so much more if it’s coming for you. Besides, Felicity is the head of her own company. She can’t just stay here because a friend asks her to without any real reason. If someone she loves-“

“I have to earn back her love,” Oliver interrupted his sister, shaking his head, “but that just takes time. I can’t just do it in the next couple of hours that we have before she goes back to Hub City.”

Felicity felt her heart skip a beat or even two. There was a softness and a passion in Oliver’s voice that she hadn’t heard in a long time. That he wanted to earn back her love the right way, taking his time to do so, meant a lot to her. She might not know yet exactly how she felt about the fact that Oliver wanted to earn back her love in the first place, but she couldn’t deny that it meant something to her.

“I need more time.” Oliver put his hands to Thea’s shoulders and looked at her urgently. “The fashion show is coming up in two weeks. If you just ask Felicity to stay here for that show, maybe I will have a chance at making her fall back in love with me. But I really need your help.”

Thea grumbled, obviously not too pleased with the idea. Since Thea hadn’t wanted to be pulled into their fight a couple of days ago, Felicity was sure that she didn’t want to be part of any possible reunion now either. She was probably the happiest if everything turned out right without any kind of involvement.

As Oliver’s sister and her friend, she was caught between two stools. That was anything but easy, so Felicity got why she wanted to be kept out of it.

“Make her fall back in love with you?” Thea asked. “I am sure there isn’t much needed for that and-“

“There is a lot needed for that,” Oliver interrupted her yet again, shaking his head firmly, “because I want to do it the right way and that includes making good for all the things I have said and done these last couple of days. A cheap apology is not going to be enough.”

Although Oliver did his best to make Thea understand how much he really needed her help, she still hesitated. Even his puppy-like eyes that were looking at her pleadingly didn’t help. Thea was still uncertain.

“Felicity is one of the three leading ladies of her own company. I doubt that she can just stay away that long easily.”

“Maybe there is a way to make it work. With Lena Luthor and Lily Stein, she has the back-up to make take off a little longer. It’s at least worth a try, and it would be my best chance at trying to win her back before another couple of years have passed.”

“Why can’t you just ask her yourself?” Thea asked her. “It would be so much more honest than sending me to ask her.”

“Because she won’t stay if I ask her too,” Oliver said in a low voice, pain and quite some guilt sounding through every syllable, “she might stay if you asked her though. I am not too proud to ask you to do it.”

Felicity lowered her eyes to her feet, wondering if what Oliver had said was true. Was she really going to turn him down more easily than she would turn Thea down? Felicity wasn’t sure of that.

It didn’t really matter who would ask her though because a longer stay in Starling City wasn’t a possibility. Just like Thea had put it, she was one of three leading ladies of a company. Taking those few days off for the wedding had already been troublesome because the wedding had come at a really bad time. There were a thousand things for her to do in Hub City.

“I didn’t treat Felicity the way she would have deserved to be treated.”

“Because you thought she had sex with Adrian,” Thea reminded him, “I am sure that she understands. Besides, with the bombs Adrian dropped at the two of you, there are a lot of unanswered questions for the both of you. I’d say she wants to know the answers to them as much as you do. You should ask her.”

Oliver seemed to realize that maybe there was some truth in what Thea had said. He turned away with a frustrated grumble falling from his lips. He tore his hair, shaking his head again and again.

“I was terrible to her, Thea,” he said, his voice not lacking frustration either, “like really, really terrible. I don’t know why she would forgive me. I don’t know why she would even listen to me. What am I supposed to say? Just tell her I am sorry for not trusting her or her love for me enough to not think that she would screw Adrian the second she thought we were broken up? And then ask her in the same sentence if she could give me another chance?”

“Well, that would be a start.”

Only when both Oliver and Thea turned their heads towards her, Felicity realized that she had actually said those words out loud. Heat rose to her cheeks, and she was sure that a deep blush spread there too. Since hiding was no longer an option, she opened the door and stepped in.

Oliver’s gaze caught hers immediately, and she could see the deep desire in his eyes. He looked her up and down, taking in the way his dress looked on her body. The expression in his eyes was so intense that it made Felicity’s skin crawl and goosebumps spread all over her back.

Felicity wanted to look away, trying to escape the intensity of Oliver’s gaze. As much as she tried to, she just couldn’t do it. His gaze was captivating her.

“I guess I will just-“

Thea pointed her thumb towards the door. Felicity flashed her a quick smile, grateful that she understood that she and Oliver just needed a moment of their own. Now that the shock wasn’t as raw as it had been last night, maybe they finally got their chance of talking things out.

Once the door was closed behind Thea, Oliver approached Felicity. She couldn’t stop herself from tensing slightly, unsure what he was about to do. Oliver caught up on it immediately and stopped. He lifted his hands slightly, almost like he was trying to prove to her that he didn’t mean any harm to her.

“I am sorry for yesterday.” Oliver cleared his throat and pushed his hands into the pockets of his pants. “To begin with.”

Felicity shrugged her shoulders. She wished she could push her hands into the pockets of her dress too. She was sure there weren’t any though, so she just moved her hands over the fabric of the skirt nervously. To her surprise, she found that she was wrong though, and she dug her hands deep into the pockets of her dress.

Oliver really knew her, Felicity thought to herself. After all these years, he knew that she would feel better with some pockets. She liked to keep her phone, a tissue and maybe some other stuff close.

“I needed some time too,” Felicity replied, shrugging her shoulders, “I just didn’t know at that time I showed up at OJQ.”

Arriving at her hotel, she had felt terrible. She had stripped herself off he clothes and crawled into bed. With the blanket pulled over her head, she had tried to find some sleep, but of course it hadn’t been that easy. She doubted that she had even just dozed off for a single second.

“Yesterday was quite heavy.”

“Underestimation of the year.”

Felicity mumbled the words in a singsong and rolled her eyes slightly. It made the smallest of a smile spread on Oliver’s lips. As soon as it had spread, as quickly is faded from his face again.

“I have been pretty out of myself which made me blind for the way you were feeling, so I have to ask now,” Oliver said, “how are you doing with all of this?”

Sucking in a deep breath, Felicity felt tears welling in her eyes. Those were tears of sadness and anger at the same time. Just thinking about everything Adrian had done to her by trying to hurt Oliver angered her, and it hurt so damn much. She didn’t even want to consider what it would be like once she really let in the thought that she had trusted Adrian all these years. It would make her feel stupid and naïve which wasn’t attributes that she would usually use to describe herself.

“Not good,” she admitted, shrugging her shoulders in a gesture of helplessness, “I mean Adrian and I have been friends for the last few years. At least I thought that we have been friends. Obviously, he had something else in mind, but I really trusted him. I liked him.”

Oliver nodded his head. Putting his hands to his hips, he lowered his eyes. He almost looked like he was feeling guilty.

“This is my fault.” He really was feeling guilty. “And I am very sorry, Felicity. If it hadn’t been for me and my actions, Adrian would have never tried faking to be your friend. I was careless before I have gotten together with you and knew that you were everything I wanted. If it hadn’t been for me, Adrian wouldn’t have pretended to be your friend when he was really the one who chased you away from Staling three years ago. He also wouldn’t have gotten in our way if it hadn’t been for what I did. I mean-“

Felicity shook her head, and it was enough to interrupt Oliver. He fell silent instantly, looking at her with so much urgency like her words were the only ones that could possibly take away the guilt he was feeling.

“What happened wasn’t your fault. It was neither not my fault.” Felicity shook her head lightly. “It was all Adrian.”

Maybe they could have prevented the measures all of this had taken if they had reacted differently to what Adrian had done. That didn’t make any of this their fault though. At the end, Adrian’s actions might have driven them apart the way they had done one way or the other.

Oliver was still looking at her intensely. He looked like he was trying to figure out if she was serious or just saying this to comfort him. As hard as it was to keep her eyes on him, Felicity forced herself to keep looking at him. She wanted him to know that she was honestly thinking that it wasn’t either of their fault.

“Felicity, I-“

Before Oliver could say whatever he wanted to say, the door opened. They both turned around, seeing Moira entering the room in a beautiful rosé-gold dress.

“Here you are,” she said with a smile despite the strict expression in her eyes, “you gotta hurry. The first guests already arrived and both brides were just put into their wedding dresses.”

Felicity shot Oliver a brief glance. She could see that he wasn’t happy about the interruption. His thumb was moving against his other fingertips nervously.

Biting down on her bottom lip, Felicity turned her head away. She would have liked to hear what Oliver wanted to say too, but she was actually kind of relieved that she didn’t hear it yet. If it was anything close to what he had asked Thea to ask her, she wouldn’t have known what to answer to it.

“I will go check on Nyssa,” she said eventually, clearing her throat, “I promise Sara I would do so.”

Moira nodded her head with a smile. “I will send someone to tell you when it’s safe to leave the room, so Nyssa and Sara won’t meet each other before they are supposed to.”

“Alright.”

Felicity shot another brief look back over her shoulder to find Oliver’s eyes still on her. She flashed him a half-hearted smile and headed towards the door. Her heart felt heavy and her head was spinning.

Everything about this situation just continued to suck.

 * * *

 With a low sigh, Felicity put her glass of champagne and sank down on her chair. She felt like she had been standing or rushing around forever. She doubted that she had sat down since she had gotten up after dinner. Even the ankle she hadn’t sprained seemed to hurt now.

Felicity took a quick look around to make sure nobody was watching her. She hurried to slip out of her shoe and elevated her injured foot to the empty chair next to her. With another sigh of exhaustion, she leaned back in the chair and allowed herself to relax for a moment.

Her gaze fell onto the newly-weds. Sara and Nyssa were the only couple dancing on the dance floor. They had their arms wrapped around each other tightly. Their foreheads were resting together. Their eyes were closed. They both looked utterly content and happy, like they were exactly where they were supposed to be and where they wanted to be.

Their content easily infected Felicity. She felt it spread inside of her chest like a wave of warmth. It made her feel all fuzzy and good.

This day had certainly been everything Sara and Nyssa had hoped for, probably even more. After all these years, they were finally wife and wife. The joy of being married suited them both. It made them look so incredibly happy, and with the way their wedding bands sparkled in the light of the canopy, they would surely get some perfectly romantic photos of this moment too.

Looking at Sara and Nyssa, Felicity realized how far, far away something like this was for herself. There had been a time that she had really wanted all those gestures of romance and love, too. She had thought that they had been quite in reach for her, just there to grab and never let go. Through the last few years, she had completely lost sight of it though, and she wasn’t sure if she was even remotely the same kind of girl that had wished for something like that for herself.

With Helix Dynamics, Felicity was very busy. There wasn’t much time for a relationship which had been one of the many reasons why she and Ray had decided to break up. They had both been so very busy with their jobs that there hadn’t been enough time to be a couple. It wouldn’t have worked, and Felicity didn’t see it working with anyone else currently either.

She had no idea how Lily did it and how she would continue to do it with a baby. Since it was Lily, Felicity was sure that she would make it work though.

“Hey.”

Flinching slightly at how close the voice was, Felicity turned her head quickly. She had been so deep in thought that she hadn’t noticed that Oliver had approached her. He was standing right next to her, his hands pushed into the pockets of his pants and his shoulders hunched. Although she couldn’t see it, she was sure that his thumb and fingertips were rubbing together.

“Hi.”

Felicity’s voice was quiet, and she did her best to hide her insecurity behind a smile. She had known that Oliver would approach her to restart the conversation they had needed to interrupt for the wedding earlier today. She had feared and simmered for this moment with same measures.

From everything Felicity had heard of the conversation between Oliver and Thea, she knew that Oliver wanted to ask her to stay. She still didn’t know how to react to that though. She knew that she couldn’t stay, even if she wanted to. She just didn’t know if she wanted to, which meant that she didn’t know what exactly to tell Oliver if he asked her to stay.

Clearing his throat, Oliver pulled his hand from the pocket of his pants and held it out for her. Felicity looked at it like she had never seen a hand before, staring at it for a long moment, before she lifted her gaze to Oliver’s face.

“Would you like to dance?”

Felicity perked up an eyebrow, causing Oliver to press his lips together. As much as she tried to hide it, she knew that she failed to not let him see the amused grin that she was doing her best to bite back.

“Really?” she asked him, cocking her head. “You don’t dance, and you can’t dance.”

“I can dance,” Oliver insisted, “as long as dancing means swaying from side to side a little while music is playing. I am just doing it rarely because… well… women insist that I step on their feet all the time.”

“Oh, they insist, yes?”

“Yeah, I have no idea why.”

Oliver chuckled nervously. Since she didn’t take his hand, he moved it through his short hair and stuffed it back into the pocket of his pants.

“Please,” he asked, “just one dance?”

Back when they had been together, Felicity had needed to plead with Oliver for him to agree to one single dance. If possible, he had tried to get his way out of it. He really hadn’t wanted to dance with her, no matter how much she would have liked it.

Since Felicity still hesitated, Oliver whispered, “Sometimes, we all have to bite the bullet.”

Felicity wasn’t sure if he was talking about her or about himself. It didn’t really matter though as Felicity realized that he was right. They had all to bite the bullet sometimes. Oliver did so by asking her to dance, and she would do so by agreeing to it.

“Okay,” she whispered, nodding her head, “one dance.”

Oliver beamed with happiness, holding his hand out for her once more. Felicity rested her much smaller hand in his and let him help her up. Hand in hand, they walked towards the dancefloor where some other couples had joined Sara and Nyssa by now too.

“How is your foot?” Oliver asked when he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her tightly against him. “Any better?”

Felicity shrugged her shoulders. “Not really, but it is how it is.”

“Maybe you should go and see a doctor.”

Again, Felicity shrugged her shoulders. She wouldn’t be able to say anything even if she wanted to. A thick lump had formed in her throat when Oliver hand rested their linked fingers on top of his heart. She could feel his heartbeat beneath the palm of her hand, and it made her own heartbeat quickens.

“I don’t think a doctor can do more than telling me to elevate my foot and cool my ankle.” Felicity shrugged her shoulders as they started swaying more or less in time with the music. “If it won’t be better in a couple of days, I will go and see a doctor.”

“Dr. Schwartz here in Starling General is really good,” Oliver said lightly. “A few years ago, I had trouble with my knee again, and she took care of it.”

Felicity nodded her head slowly. She knew that Oliver had had trouble with his knee a couple of years ago when they had still been together. He had seen almost half a dozen doctors, but nobody had been able to tell him where the pain had come from.

Now, Oliver’s suggestion was a lot more than a medical suggestion. he hadn’t asked her directly, but his suggestion did sound a lot like he wanted her to stay in Starling for longer.

Oliver seemed to catch up on her insecurity. His arm tightened around her like he was scared she would leave already. His hand pressed her even closer to his chest, so she could feel his heartbeat even more. It had quickened with her hesitation to respond since Oliver had probably realized that it wouldn’t be as easy as he had thought or hoped it would be.

“I am sorry for the way I treated you lately.”

Felicity nodded her head, but it soon turned into a shake of her head. She frowned slightly and dug her fingers into his shoulder.

“You thought I cheated on you.”

“Well, it wouldn’t have been cheating.” Oliver looked at her intensely. “After the way I left you that day, I figured that it might have looked to you like I was breaking up with you. I wasn’t which I would like to point out for the record, but I understand why it might have looked that way to you. That way, it wouldn’t have been cheating, but-“

Oliver squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. The entire situation was way too confusing to talk about it easily even now. The different point of views they had on this were making it hard to talk it out. Maybe they should, but the wedding reception really wasn’t the right place to do so.

“I wasn’t exactly nice to you either.”

“I was worse.”

Felicity bit down on her tongue. She wouldn’t fight him on that. She tried to pull herself together. She wanted to believe that he had tried to do the same. Obviously, his level of patience had always been quite beneath hers.

“I was wondering,” Oliver said slowly and took in a deep breath, “if you might want to stay here in Starling for a little longer, so we could talk it all out. We didn’t really have a chance to do so since Adrian dropped this bomb on us last night. Maybe we could sit down and, I don’t know, talk about what happened back then and what happened since you returned to Starling and what might or could happen in the future.”

Oliver’s voice had grown more and more quiet as he continued to speak. That and the way his heart stumbled in his chest, beating incredibly irregularly, told Felicity how nervous this made him. Oliver barely ever let anyone see how he was feeling, especially when he thought that his feelings were making him weak. That he let her see and feel how he was truly feeling right now was a big step for him.

He was still looking at her intensely. His gaze seemed to crawl under her skin and try to figure out what she was thinking and feeling at his question.

As much as Felicity tried to hold his gaze, she couldn’t do it. She lowered her head, looking at their bodies that were pressed together as they continued to sway in time with the music.

She had wondered if she would want to stay if Oliver asked her to. Now she knew that at least a part of her wanted to. As hesitant as she was about it because she wasn’t sure that it would lead them anywhere, she could feel that, deep inside of her, she wanted to stay and figure out what it meant for them.

Since she had come back to Starling, she had wondered if there was still something between her and Oliver. With what she had believed was their history, even the phenomenal sex hadn’t seemed to be enough to change that they were utterly done. Now that their history wasn’t what it had always seemed to be, maybe things had changed. Maybe they hadn’t though.

Fact was, Felicity just didn’t know.

“I can’t stay,” she whispered eventually, lifting her gaze to Oliver’s again, “I need to go back to Hub City. I am needed at Helix Dynamics.”

It didn’t matter if Felicity wanted to explore whatever opportunities there still were for her and Oliver. She knew that Helix Dynamics should be and had to be her priority. For the past years, it had been the one thing to offer stability to her. It had been everything she needed to recover from her broken heart. Now that the company needed her, she wouldn’t turn her back on it. She wouldn’t refuse to put it first.

“What good would it do for me to stay anyway?” Felicity added, her voice betraying her. It made obvious that she wasn’t sure about what she was saying. “So much time has passed since all of that happened. I don’t know about you, but I can certainly say that I have changed. I don’t know if I am anything like the woman I used to be before. I doubt it actually. You have probably changed too.”

If Felicity was asked about how she had changed in the past three years, maybe she wouldn’t be able to answer. She couldn’t describe all the ways she has changed since she had left Starling City, but she knew that she was very different from the woman who had left the city with a broken heart. It was feeling deep inside of her that told her that she had changed a lot through the years.

That she and Oliver had had sex twice since she has returned showed that they were still physically attracted to each other. It didn’t mean that the bond they had once had was revivable though. When people changed, maybe they were still physically attracted to each other, but that wasn’t nearly enough to fall in love again or to make a relationship work.

“Besides,” Felicity said, clearing her throat against the thick lump in her throat that made her sound so hoarse, “you are busy with your fashion show too and-“

“What if I visit you in Hub City?” Oliver interrupted her. “That way you wouldn’t stay away from Helix Dynamics for too long, and we could still see each other. We could see each other, maybe go out on a date, you know, like the old-fashioned dinner in a nice, Italian restaurant.”

Felicity frowned. She knew exactly what kind of stress there was going on before a fashion show. Presenting a new collection was always exciting for Oliver and there was a lot that depended on the success of the fashion show. It needed to create buzz in the media because that kind of promotion was exactly what was needed to keep a fashion label alive.

If Sara’s suspicion was true and Oliver had indeed torn apart some designs for his fashion show, he had a lot of work ahead of him. Even if the designs were still intact, he certainly had a lot to do. A designer's way from Oliver’s head to the catwalk was quite long and those were just a tiny part of what Oliver’s work consisted of.

“What about the fashion show?” Felicity asked, frowning. “You must have your hands full with work.”

“I do,” Oliver admitted, shrugging his shoulders, “but nothing is more important than this. Nothing's more important than you.”

The deep tone of his voice, saying these kinds of things every woman dreamed to hear at least once in her lifetime, made it even harder to breathe. Given how dedicated Oliver was to his word, Felicity knew that it meant even more. Oliver didn’t offer this lightly, and he certainly wouldn’t offer this to everybody.

Still, there was a little voice in Felicity’s head that warned her not to do it. These past days here in Starling had been like a rollercoaster and not even the good kind of roller coaster. She felt like she had been left with whiplash. If she continued, she might lose her head and her heart completely. She wasn’t sure if she was ready to do so.

“Oliver, I-“

Felicity felt the words getting stuck in her throat. She wanted to get them out, but something inside of her was fighting against it. Something inside of her didn’t want to tell him that she didn’t think this was a good idea. Something wanted him to come to Hub City, so they could talk it all out and figure out what was going on between them without the weight of their past pressuring them from all sides.

Holding her breath, Felicity looked right into Oliver’s eyes. The expression in his eyes was pleading. He would respect her if she turned him down now. He wouldn’t suddenly turn up at her doorstep and ambush her because he knew that she would make the kind of decision that was best for her.

“Okay, fine.”

Felicity was almost surprised that she actually agreed to it, but she felt the thick knot that had built in her stomach loosening. Maybe the decision hadn’t been all bad.

Oliver couldn’t hide his smile. He was more than relieved that she had agreed. She could see it in his face. He was beaming with joy, almost like he was concurring with Sara and Nyssa.

The thought touched and scared Felicity at the same time. She lowered her eyes for a moment and rested her head against Oliver’s shoulder then. His hand moved from the small of her back up to her neck and finally the back of her head. His warm palm cupped her head, his fingers brushing through her neatly done hair. Felicity didn’t mind. She felt somewhat safe and good there which was confusing once more.

With a sigh, Felicity closed her eyes. In a couple of hours, she was back home in Hub City. She would take a lot of impressions with her from Starling City, but she knew that her home, her company and her friends in Hub City would help her to get back a little bit of the stability she had missed here in Starling City.

No matter what had happened or would happen between her and Oliver, Hub City was her home, and she couldn’t wait to get back to it.

* * *

@fannaz @promiseyoullbepatientwithme @bytemegeekette @felicity-said-just-in-case @phanseptiic @orangeisorange @mspotatohead14 @whentheheavenfades @emmaamelia95 @smoakingskye @seaolicity @ourwritinginvein @1022bridgetp @felicityqueenforever @leagueofolicity17 @yryssss @myhauntedblacksoul @sherlock44 @sinceriouslybea @olivyflavescentdeer @olicitys-castle @ofnothingcharming @vaelisamaza @smoakedandcharmed @alexisa1206 @mysaudadespt2 @florence-bubbles @addictiontelly @queens-of-arrows @memcjo @hysterical-for-joshifer-blog @oswinelevenforever @olicitylovemaking @bandanab310 @mymusiclove101 @lynslogic @scarletqueen23 @olicityshipper19 @alex-wesley @arrows-4ever @unabashedlynerdypatrol @louehmysoul @ligiapimenta @chattyyana @charlie-leau @coal000 @samcrowleys @ishippolivia @julianegomesqueen @malafle @miriam1779 @charlinert @melaux @ontheolicityship @myshipperlife @wrightainsley @lexi9515 @ladygreenwood @multi-fandom-crazy-fangirl @morinamel @mje-thomas @kebarry @canadianheartgirl @nannett2307 @almondblossomme @kathrynelizabeth89 @imdfabulous @mrt2501 @arsipaci14 @salasvia @brandis91 @cainc3 @morganmiguess @pr0fessi0nal-fangurl @iamisalima @nessafrancis-blog @jonhdiggle @niki-is-amazing @universed-posts @hopeful-warrior @senoritaswiftie @bellemmie @green-arrows-of-karamel @iheartarrow @olicityovereverything @oliverfel4 @olicity-in-the-heart @fullychippedcreation @geemarie @everything-but-normal-cat @myarroworld @tjmartinez @pleasantfanandstudent @j69confessional2 @scentedcolorpirate @icanica74 @tjmartinez98 @certainmentalityface @tatianadamaceno @ryelew @wildwillowzepplin @missafairy @letsplaymurde-r @lipizette @positivepiper @nuttymilkshakehologram @laksagirl @turnupthemusicandscream​ @pumpernickle93 @onceuponanolicity @1106angel​ @jaspertown​ @fadinglands @morganashimi83​ @mochababychristy​ @omglovechrissie​ @mariejr88-blog @thetaufactor​ @onceuponanolicity​ @speakandseethetruth​ @bri206 @aglasgo​ @geemarie​ @pineprincess​ @nerdgirljen​ @eternal-olicity14​ @allyouhadtodowas-stay-stay-stay @lovelycssefan​ @tsseract​ @flowerandsunshine @dcnmarvelgamergeek​ @blondeeoneexox​ @monetsmark​ @bb-olicity @mashamarty​ @rulerofsilence​ @erika-amber @nothingmorethanmyotps @kayleenyc​ @tonto16​ @olicityfluv​ @olicitea1990​ @haahaaa2408 @pattid1​ @faegal04​ @24karatgem​ @wrldtravler​ @readerkas​ @olicity-beliver @greencoffeecups @snorlaxishere

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[i-heart-danchou]

Pain

Kill the beast titan.  Kill the beast titan.  

Over and over the words play in Levi’s mind; it helps him fight the exhaustion, it helps keep him on his feet.  It focuses him, it keeps him steady.  

Erwin’s dead.  You told him to die and he’s dead now, you’ll never see him aga— Kill the beast titan.  Kill the beast titan.  You swore to him, Levi.  You swore.

The intrusive thoughts permeate his mind and he shakes them off.  Erwin didn’t die for nothing, as long as he takes that hairy bastard down then this all had meaning— please, please!

Levi’s running low on gas now, he doesn’t have enough blades to fight.  He can see his promise fizzling out before him, can see that monster getting away, can almost imagine the disappointment in Erwin’s eyes.  

You let him down, Levi.  You promised him, you failed.  Erwin died for nothing.

So he won’t give up, he gives chase and follows that thing as far as he can. He spots Eren on the rooftop and his hope rises for a moment; there’s a chance now, he can give chase and kill the beast once and for all.  

Eren’s about to give his equipment over, then a desperate little noise distracts him.  A charred body— Armin? Fuck,— lies on the tiles at their feet and… it’s breathing.  Eren’s desperation is obvious as he demands the syringe, and Levi hesitates.  

Erwin.  Erwin might be alive, he might be dying out in that field, he— he’s all alone out there, he’s probably in pain, might not be lucid, I… Erwin.  I want to give the injection to Erwin, please, please.  

There’s no time for hesitation, and Eren’s becoming increasingly agitated.  Mikasa’s there too now, their eyes are on Levi and he knows he can’t stall forever.  His hair falls over his eyes.  

It’s too late.  Erwin is dead.  Don’t waste this chance.

He ruefully hands the syringe over, chiding himself for hoping.  His heart is foolish and aching.  Erwin is gone, and letting this child die isn’t going to bring him back.  

Still.  He feels like he’s signing Erwin’s death certificate as he passes the box to Eren.  Abandoning all hope, giving up on him, removing any possible chance for…

Floch’s appearance is sudden and unexpected.  Levi’s heart soars as he sees Erwin’s beautiful blond hair glinting in the sun.  The beast titan is forgotten, his vow at the back of his mind.  There is only one goal now, only one thing that matters.  

Save Erwin.

His eyes are wide, his mind swimming.  Levi takes the box back and clutches it to his chest.  He’d almost given it away, he’d almost killed Erwin… fuck, fuck!  There’s still a chance, he… he’s happy and relieved and he can’t believe that after a whole life of losses and failures he’s been blessed with this chance.  

Save Erwin.

He lets out a shuddering breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, and he rushes to help.  

The wounds are… bad.  Life threatening, agonizing; they don’t have time to mess around.  Floch is being too rough with the commander, and Levi gently eases him off the boy’s back, resting him on the roof tiles as delicately as he can.  

Erwin’s skin is warm, his chest rises and falls and his moist breath tickles Levi’s palm.  

“He’s breathing.”  He says, maybe more to convince himself than anyone else.  “He’s alive.”  

It’s impossible, the odds astronomical, but he’s alive, he’s alive, he’s alive.  There’s hope for humanity and it’s bleeding out on the shattered tiles of this roof.  

Eren and Mikasa must realize what this means, and their hackles raise and they move into defensive positions.  

“I’m giving this injection to Erwin.”  He clarifies.  It feels good to say it, it feels good to hear it.  Erwin is going to live.  Erwin is going to survive.  

Eren moves into Levi’s personal space and demands the syringe.  Mikasa stands with her blades drawn, glaring daggers at Levi.  

Levi doesn’t blame them.  If the situation were reversed, surely he would go to similar lengths to get the injection back for Erwin.  They’re young, they’re blind, they don’t understand.  So he’s calm, he’s patient, and he explains his reasoning.  Erwin is the hope of mankind, Erwin will lead humanity to victory, Erwin is everything.

Levi is not a man who is easily intimidated, and although the boy has a height advantage, Levi does not stand down.  

“You… you said you’d give the injection to Armin.”

Levi doesn’t scoff.  Two lives hang in the balance, this isn’t a joke, but… he wants to be clear, he wants them to understand.  

“I’m reviving the one who can save humanity.”  He says calmly, but his heart is racing.  Erwin is bleeding out, they don’t have fucking time for this.  Mikasa is advancing on him, and Levi feels exhausted.  Children.  They’re fucking children.  “Do you have the faintest damn clue what you’re doing?”  He demands, keeping his voice calm and steady.  “This is Erwin.  He’s the commander of the Survey Corps.  You just want to watch him die?”  They don’t even see that their choice will leave Erwin to rot… they don’t care that they’re screaming and begging so that another human being will bleed to death.

“I don’t have time for this.  Get out of my way.”

Eren resorts to physical force then, but Levi has always been stronger.

“Eren.  Keep your feelings out of this.”

The boy is unstable, trembling, crying.  “MY feelings???  Why did you hesitate before???”

There’s an accusation in his words, an ugly insinuation that Levi can’t deny.  You hesitated because your fucking boyfriend is in the mix, right?  You hesitated because your gay ass couldn’t stand to let blondie go!

Levi can’t deny that.  He’s not ashamed of his love for Erwin, he never has been.  He won’t allow his love to be used as a weapon.  “I was considering the possibility that Erwin might be alive.”  Of course he was.  What else could it have been?  

Eren tries to take the box from him in earnest.  Levi strikes him then, knocks half his teeth out and it’s satisfying as hell.  Mikasa launches into the air, the sharp end of her blade pressed against Levi’s neck.  He can’t conjure anger, he’s so exhausted— Erwin’s dying beside them, there’s no time, there’s no time!  Mikasa wails like an infant and he still tries to reason with her.  They deserve to understand this choice.

They scream, they cry, they beg.  It doesn’t matter, Erwin is getting the injection.  Still… Mikasa is stronger than he realized, Mikasa is motivated just as Levi himself is.  He needs help, and he’s not sure where to get it.  

He’s grateful for Floch’s intervention, at least… he was, until he hears the man speak.  He tells a story of desperate violence beyond the walls.  He describes the scene of carnage and Levi’s stomach drops.

Levi imagines Erwin with his guts hanging out in the middle of a blood soaked field.  His loyal horse gasping in agony beside him, his consciousness fading, his strength ebbing out of him.  Perhaps he was proud, perhaps remorseful… Levi wonders if Erwin had seen him take down the beast titan, or if he’d been blinded by his injury before the fruits of his sacrifice were reaped.  

“When I found the commander, I was going to finish him off.”

He imagines Floch… this upstart, this angry young man who blames Erwin for everything, approaching the man that he loves with a blade in his hand.  Perhaps Erwin sees him, eyes wide, the sun glinting off the metal.  Would he embrace death? Fear it?  No.  Floch doesn’t have the stones to kill someone who is staring him in the face.  The Erwin in his mind is like the one on the roof: beautiful, bleeding, departed.  

Was it mercy?  Was it anger?  The boy is reeling, and Levi feels sick.  He’s glad, so glad, that Erwin didn’t die at the end of this boy’s blade.  “But that’s going too easy on him. I thought he ought to taste more of this hell.”

Throughout their time together, people have always badmouthed Erwin.  To his face, behind his back, in front of Levi… it’s nothing new.  Yet Levi had never heard someone reveling in Erwin’s suffering before.  This child who knows nothing of the demons Erwin had battled, the pain and despair he surmounted every day and continued to fight… Erwin deserves to… suffer?

Levi searches for humanity on this rooftop. He finds it in Erwin, in the steady rise and fall of his chest, in the stump of his arm and the commander’s emerald. His gaze finds Armin, fighting for life… and then… these people.  A boy having a hissy fit, a girl throwing a tantrum, begging for the light of Levi’s life to die and… this… Floch… speaking of Erwin like he’s garbage, like he’s nothing.

He calls Erwin a devil, and Levi’s nausea peaks.  Erwin is brilliant, he’s brave, he’s selfless, he’s human.  He’s everything to Levi, and it makes him sick to hear him disrespected in such a way.  

He imagines Floch roughly grabbing their commander, patching him up just long enough that he could be dragged up to this roof.  He imagines Erwin groaning in pain as he’s jostled about, perhaps questioning the course of events, wondering where he was or… how he was robbed of all agency.  Perhaps a soft little noise escapes his lips, maybe he says Levi’s name.  He feels sick. 

Hanji arrives then, and somehow manages to talk Mikasa down before she lashes out further.  Levi is unmoved by her wailing, and draws up the injection for Erwin.  A clammy hand grabs his boot and he stares down at Eren, desperately begging him to reconsider.  

Dreams.  Oceans.  Children.  They’re so pitiful.  He doesn’t kick the boy away, because he knows how hard this is for him.  Levi understands, even if it angers him. 

Mikasa and Eren are dragged away, and Levi is glad for the silence.  His mind is racing.

Armin’s ocean…. Erwin’s dream… he thinks of Kenny too.  Levi has never responded to crying or begging, it’s not about to start working now.  Everyone’s a slave to something.  

He kneels down beside Erwin and is relieved to see he’s still breathing.  Levi is gentle and careful as he rolls Erwin’s sleeve up.  Idly he thinks how muscular he is, how strong he is, how nice it’ll be to have both Erwin’s arms wrapped around him again.  

Save Erwin.

The needle barely touches Erwin’s skin and the man flinches away, his hand shooting into the air like a schoolchild.  

Levi’s eyes go wide.  “Erwin??”  The realization hits him and his eyes go wide.

Erwin doesn’t want this.  Erwin doesn’t want to be made into a titan.

The commander is mumbling something… something about a teacher, about humans… he’s not aware, he’s dreaming and he doesn’t know where he is.  His father, surely.  He’s a child again, he’s that same little boy with a dream that he always was.  Erwin’s eyes are glazed and unfocused, and it breaks Levi’s heart to see him like this.  

He doesn’t want this.  He’s done so much already, he’s given us everything— EVERYTHING.  How… how can we ask him to…

Levi needs Erwin.  He needs to feel his warm skin against his own in the mornings, he needs something to look up to, something to reach for.  He needs him to live, his life lacks color and music without him.  And yet…

Levi’s promise seeps back into his mind.  That he’d made the choice, that he’d told Erwin to die… that… for the first time in as long as Levi could remember, Erwin seemed… peaceful.  Erwin had smiled at him then, an angelic, serene, gentle smile which he would burn into his memories for the rest of his life.  

Levi’s choice had given Erwin peace.  Levi’s order had absolved Erwin of his sins, allowed him to redeem himself… that smile.  That beautiful, beautiful smile.  

Levi… thank you.

He takes in a shuddering breath as he realizes what he must do.  Erwin deserves better than this.  Deserves better than Eren and Mikasa begging for his death, deserves better than Floch calling him a monster.  

Humanity needs Erwin.  Humanity won’t survive without his brilliant mind, his ruthless strategy, his charisma, his experience…

Humanity can go fuck itself.  

Humanity doesn’t deserve him.

Levi gently collects Erwin and brings him a safe distance so that he won’t be harmed by the ensuing titan transformation.  He wants everything to be peaceful for him, he wants the rest of his life to be painless, calm, and warm.  He presses a kiss to his forehead.  “I’ll be right back.”  He promises, and hastily gives Armin the injection.  

A weak, stringy titan is born, and Levi doesn’t look at it.  Erwin’s titan would have been magnificent… strong, tall, beautiful but… it’s too late now.  

Floch and Hanji are in attendance, incredulous and despairing that Erwin Smith is dying before their eyes.   They must think Levi a fool, or a madman, but it doesn’t matter.  

He tries to explain his choice.

Erwin’s humanity was more important than the rest of humanity.  Erwin’s peace mattered more than the war they faced, than the enemies that flanked them… his happiness mattered more than Levi’s.  He deserved peace, he deserved to rest.  It wasn’t fair to drag him back to… to this. To make him a monster, to force him to live in this nightmare.  

Erwin Smith would die as a man, his humanity and dignity intact.  Nothing else matters.  

Levi was prepared to face a lifetime of empty beds, absent touches, and desperate loneliness to preserve that smile that Erwin had given him.  He was prepared to rip his own heart into pieces so that Erwin could rest.

They’d never understand.  No one would.

He promises Erwin that he’ll kill the beast titan, and Hanji informs him that Erwin is already dead.

Her words hang in the air and cut through Levi’s soul.  His eyes widen, the news hits him, and his heart clenches with a pain that he never imagined possible.  He knew Erwin was dying but… to hear he was actually… dead… he…. oh fuck.  He stands by his choice.  He has to, he can’t keep it together otherwise.  It hurts.  It hurts.  It hurts and he wishes he were dead too.  

“I see.”  He manages, and he wonders if he has the strength to keep standing.  Erwin’s eyes are glassy and dull, his skin is clammy and grey.  His blood has soaked through his uniform, and time stands still.  He’ll never speak to Erwin again, never again hear his silky deep voice, he… fuck.  He missed his chance to say goodbye.

Erwin Smith is dead.  

Levi doesn’t want to touch him now, doesn’t think he deserves to.  The body is hollow and empty, and for a moment he blames himself.  The light vanishes from Levi’s world.  Voices fall on deaf ears, and Levi is numb.  He did it for Erwin.  He did it for Erwin.  

Levi knows the remainder of his life will be a painful struggle.  He is driven forward only, only to keep his promise to Erwin.  Once the beast titan falls… then Levi can rest too.

Levi never smiles again.  His eyes lose their sparkle, his life loses purpose.  He lays Erwin to rest and leaves his heart is there with him, rotting away to nothing beside the golden commander.  

[ofwaking]

they'd known each other for a couple years at this point and yet they'd never managed to spend a birthday together, cloud had made sure to do something about that this year. although presents weren't always his strong suit cloud always liked to try and get something meaningful, personal to the other. (1/3)

it wasn’t much.. but as he handed sora his wrapped present - a framed photo aerith had demanded the group of them took the first time sora returned to a fully revived radiant garden; cloud had actually been there helping with some final construction and storing and they’d seen it as a perfect opportunity for a family photo, so to speak - cloud hoped sora would appreciate it. ’ here.. s’ nothin’ special but, for those days where traveling gets tough.‘ 

in the photo cloud and sora were standing at each others side, the rest of the restoration committee surrounding them and celebrating the fact they’d managed to get cloud /and/ sora present on the grand day. quite the achievement, he guessed. 

( happy birthday, sora | @omniheim )

     he had all but FORGOTTEN about the day again–––– it was becoming a habit, & he had been sufficiently embarrassed when he’d been woken up by riku & kairi & the smell of breakfast wafting into his room–––– but, it would seem that no one else had. he’d received more well wishes on this birthday than he could ever remember receiving before ( his eyes had been wide when the first few greetings had come in through his gummiphone, topped off by pictures of friends from other worlds who didn’t have a way to communicate with him, & he had been sure that he was going to CRY )

     coming to radiant garden, where everyone knew his face, was almost overwhelming. someone–––– he suspected yuffie, but no one would say for sure–––– had made sure everyone knew it was his birthday, & he’d hardly been able to get off the gummi ship before he had been bombarded by happy birthdays, sending his heart racing ad his cheeks ACHING from the size of his smile.

     sora hadn’t even known that cloud was there, let alone that he’d prepared a gift for him, & the surprise was evident on sora’s face. he took the picture with a grin, & LAUGHED excitedly as he looked it over.

     ❝ hey, i remember this! ❞

     everyone had been so excited to have him & cloud under the same roof at the same time, & they had practically leapt into action to take a picture. sora couldn’t remember the last time he had been surrounded by so many people who felt like FAMILY, & the hair ruffles & back patting &, yes, even the cheek pinching had been tucked away in his mind for a moment he knew he’d need it. he’d felt so cared about. so LOVED.

     he didn’t realize he was crying until he saw his TEARS hit the picture frame.

     ❝ s–––– sorry. ❞

     one of his arms reached up to rub unceremoniously across his eyes, trying in vain to CHASE away the tears.

      ❝ just–––– looking at this makes me really happy. ❞

      to know that they were all safe, free to live their lives, partially because of HIM, certainly didn’t help all the emotion building up in his tender heart. a part of him was embarrassed by the way he smiled up at cloud with tear filled eyes, & a trembling lip, but the rest of him didn’t care.

      this gift made him SO HAPPY.

      ❝ thanks, cloud. i love it! ❞

      he did. he REALLY did.