#and yet being better humans than most human beings

[chaosartisan]

You all are so pro mental illness until they forget to take their medication.

You all are so pro mental illness until they start having delusions.

You all are so pro mental illness until they develop brain fog.

You all are so pro mental illness until they start forgetting important dates.

You all are so pro mental illness until they identify neuro divergent traits that you have.

You all are so pro mental illness until they start expressing their struggles.

You all are so pro mental illness until someone can't afford to go to therapy.

You all are so pro mental illness until someone can't afford their medication.

You all are so pro mental illness until it's something that comes attached with a physical health condition or deformity.

You all are so pro mental illness until it comes to advocating for better systems.

You all are so pro mental illness until your loved one becomes mentally ill.

You all are so pro mental illness until they need your help.

You all are so pro mental illness until it comes to doing anything other than saying "I'm pro mental illness."

yall are pro mental illness until they hallucinate

yall are pro mental illness until they dissociate

yall are pro mental illness until they self-isolate

yall are pro mental illness until they're paranoid

yall are pro mental illness until they split

yall are pro mental illness until it's too Scary for your comparatively neurotypical brain to handle

[7nuh]

MR. CRAWLING YANDERE HEADCANONS !

CW 𓂃 gn!reader, gaslighting, canon-typical violence

AN 𓂃 ik i said i'd have HCs for all of them but this ended up being too long so... 🧍‍♀️ also unedited bc i have an exam later ill be back to edit this later pls

Mr. Crawling is the protective type. He spends half of the entire game following you wherever you go and going through great lengths to protect you from the other residents of these cursed apartments. However, I can see how that protectiveness can get twisted in the long run when you remain completely helpless and unable to defend yourself. Mr. Crawling would have no choice but to step in and make decisions for you instead because he cannot afford to lose you just like that.

Out of all the homicipher men, mr. Crawling is the one who has the most respect for your choices and boundaries. He leaves when you tell him to, patiently guides you throughout this maze, and comforts you when you are upset— and he's never violent unless threatened.

Such a sweet and gentle guy would never hurt you intentionally. He loves you too much to hurt you.

That being said, though he'll never intentionally hurt you, he doesn't realize it whenever he's being possessive and suffocating you instead. After all, having wandered these halls for so long has desensitized him to violence and made him forget all his human memories. Simply put, his concept of love is warped in its own way. He doesn't understand nor remember how to healthily love another person by societal standards, but he (usually) means well.

He may not understand love but he knows one thing for sure— you're very precious to him. You're so full of life, so kind (to him), and so persistent to find your way home despite everything. Everyone else just kind of does their own thing around there... but you need him. You give him purpose and he's ready to give himself up for you in return.

But as much as he respects you, he knows you sometimes don't know any better. You almost got yourself killed multiple times despite his numerous warnings, and he's not confident you completely understand him just yet. So whenever he feels as though something got lost in translation, he won't hesitate to push you aside or cover for you in that instance. Thankfully, you can now regenerate your limbs.

You don't know any better. This sentiment becomes a mantra that repeats itself in his head over and over again. The two of you haven't made any significant progress on finding an exit, but you've almost died more than a dozen times by now. How are you supposed to survive without him?

What even is your home like? How can he be sure that you aren't going to get yourself killed over there too? Can he follow you there too to protect you? Can't you just stay here with him instead? Would that be so terrible? Of course he wants you to find whatever you're looking for...! it's just that...

The thought of losing you only intensifies his anxiety and over-protectiveness. Whether by departure or death, he cannot stand to be apart from you. Why are you so eager to leave this place anyway?

Mr. Crawling is gentle, but love can force him to be violent. He's not as cruel as the rest, but it doesn't mean he won't be when you're put in danger, especially when his possessiveness and overprotectiveness spiral out of control. He doesn't want to restrict you in any way because he loves and respects you too much to do that, but you just keep getting yourself in trouble. He overcompensates and goes overboard instead trying to protect you, even if it means killing someone.

And the thought of you moving on and forgetting him depresses him. He knows you had a life before this, but he wants a life with you in it. He'll be selfish just this once, but never again. He'll make sure you're safe here you so don't worry about that! Just don't leave him. Just stay with him, please.

It starts little by little. He starts telling you to rest more often and misleading you farther away from the elevator. Sometimes, when you tell him to leave you alone, he pretends not to understand you anymore. When he sees that dreaded green light from a distance, he tells you there is something malicious up ahead. In times like these, he's glad you're so blindly trusting of every word he says. It's difficult for him to watch your resolve break down, but it's for the best. When you're with him, you're safe and that all that's matters.

I can see some of the others like Ms. Bride and Mr. Silvair being in on it. Ms. Bride is very excited that her wedding garments will be used for their actual purpose this time whereas Mr. Silvair finds your unconventional relationship an interesting area of study. Whenever you find yourself 'lost' (escape from Mr. Crawling), they will redirect you back to him.

Eventually, you do give up. Maybe you even become more monstrous by the day and accept that you're better off here. He loved your persistence, but maybe he can show you giving up and that staying here isn't so bad. After all, you have him. He makes sure to be extra affectionate and cuddly after you give up <3

You'll learn to accept it, won't you? For him? Whatever's beyond those elevator doors can't possibly be better than being loved unconditionally and safe within his arms. You're even free to be yourself down here! You can be as violent as you want, and Mr. Crawling will happily watch you bludgeon someone to death on the sidelines with nothing but adoration.

Alternatively, if you do find your way home, he WILL follow you whether you like it or not. But if you don't want him there... well, do expect a few inconveniences. Whatever it takes to convince you to let him stay or to convince you to come back, really. Maybe like blood on the walls spelling 'me love you' and 'me miss you' or a cold pair of arms wrapping around your waist at night.

[itsa-me-lily]

God I love this au, it's feeding me so good today. The last one with the part about only one bedroom has me thinking about a sick reader, the gross kind of sick where you're sweaty and wheezy and snotty, and the fact that if it were anyone else Simon would be quarantining them. But because it's his spouse, he wakes up to you nasally wheezing and mouth breathing while sprawled across him, and all he can think about is when you're due for your next round of medicine and if he needs to buy more tissues.

Sometimes love comes coated in mucus, and is reciprocated with an artificial cherry taste. Also do the guinea pigs have names and what do they look like?

I'm dying. This is the first ever ask I've ever gotten (that I recall) and I'm going to pass away. Also "sometimes love comes coated in mucus, and is reciprocated with an artificial cherry taste" that is such a good line, I'm apologizing in advance if I steal it.

Also warning for content of being sick, this is based off my last bout of plague.

Also Also Here's the Masterlist

Bedsharing in general does not happen at first. (Now I want to percolate an idea about sharing the bed for the first time). You're way to use to having your own bed that sharing with someone means you're not sleeping easily and I think Simon would rather sleep with the guinea pigs in their cage than have another human being that close to him when he sleeps. (This was also not something he initially thought about when being told a spouse was to be picked)

So what's the solution? Obviously bunk beds! Kind of, sorta...okay not really but the look on Simon's face when you had suggested getting bunk beds had been entertaining. Who knew so much indignation could come through a medical mask. Really his eyebrows did so much talking.

With the dream of bunkbeds dashed, the next best solution was either two twin beds crammed into the bedroom with a bedside's worth of space between them, or a pull out couch. You managed to find a couch same day that didn't terribly clash with the artwork you have yet to hang up.

You two actually manage to come up with a schedule for who slept where. Obviously you'd get the bed when Simon was deployed, made no sense for you not to. And when he was home the bed was all his unless he was having a night that he knew he wasn't going to trust a deadbolt to keep monsters at bay. Then he made himself comfortable, TV playing low until he managed a few hours in the early morning before you try to leave a silently as you can for work.

(Funny thing, even if you aren't sharing a bed traditionally, you both most certainly have your own sides, along with bed stands that told two different stories)

The first time you get sick is when Simon is technically deployed. Well actually, the day he returns is the day you spike a 101.8 fever and work forces you to go home so you don't become a walking petri dish and expose the college kids that come into your office.

Once you're home you appease the little beasts demanding some sort of vegetal boon, change into the rattiest clothes you have, and then huddle under a staggering amount of blankets that have made their home on your bed. (Simon may have side eyed them when you first set them out, but you've seen the mountain he creates under them, you knew the magic of weighted blankets)

Sleep isn't peaceful, you hadn't broken out the Nyquil quite yet, but you do manage to drift off for a few hours. And then the coughing starts. It's the kind that's a bitch to deal with, dry and pushing your ribs to the limit with how often they can expand and contract. By the time Simon comes home you've steamed yourself twice, taken only a smidge over the recommended amount of cough suppressant, and slathered yourself with Vic's Vaporub. All in all, you were properly miserable.

You're in the kitchen, staring into the abyss of your over-steeping tea as if it will magically make you feel better if you only sell your soul to it, really a tempting offer, when the wheeks of the pigs announce that another person they know has arrived.

If Simon wasn't clued in that something was off at seeing you home before the end of your work day, the pungent smell of menthol would have been a dead give away. You're still communing with your tea when he knocks against the wall, pulling you out of the deal for your soul to meet him with bleary eyes and a flushed face.

You croak out a greeting that makes Simon wince in sympathy, though that's about all he really does. Simon doesn't really do pleasantries and doting probably wouldn't be the first word people use to describe him, so with your brain function reduced by an overflow of mucus and fever, the kitchen was rather silent.

Until you started coughing, face buried into the crook of your elbow to try to keep your contagion to a minimum and back bowing to nearly double you over. That drives Simon to action, coming to try to keep you up incase you collapse, grabbing your free arm.

When you feel him touch you, you try to pull away, shaking your head and finally finishing your bout, gasping a little as you try to daunting task of breathing and speaking to dissuade him from getting close lest he catches what you have. He clearly wasn't persuaded, hands clenching and unclenching like he simply wanted to pick you up and put you...somewhere.

How exactly Simon Riley would take care of you, he didn't know but he'd be damned sure to at least try. He'd been left to fend for himself while sick before and he didn't like the idea of you going through that. When it was clear that he wasn't going to just leave you to your suffering you relented enough to try to reach a compromise; if he'd be alright watching the pigs while you were sick that would be more useful than a nursemaid while you camped out on the couch.

That...that was something Simon could do. He'd watched how you took care of the boys, surely this was something he could do. And then his brain caught up to the rest of what you had said. There was no way he was going to let you sleep on some pull out couch, as nice as it was. Being Sick meant sleeping in a proper bed, on a mattress that didn't spend it's days folded up.

You tried to insist it was alright but he wouldn't listen to a word of it. Instead he practically herded you back to the bedroom, ignoring your murmurs of your abandoned hot beverage. He didn't lift you to plop you onto the bed itself but it was a near thing. He had to bribe you with the promise of a proper cup of tea for you to even lay your head on your pillow, eyes already heavy with the need for sleep. By the time he had actually made a cup you were out for the count, nasally mucus filled snores letting him know you hadn't perished in the time it took him.

The next few days were filled with mucus, the attempted escape of your lungs via coughing fits, and more Vics than the human body should be exposed to. And the entire time you insisted that you could fend for yourself. Simon didn't push to play nurse, but your tissues never ran out, a dose of medication was always ready on your bedside, and a warm cup of tea stood waiting for you after each nap, like a solider committed to his guard.

Edit;

I'm going to make a separate post for the guinea pigs, because honestly I'm torn on if they're based on my guinea pigs I used to have, or guinea pigs I'd want to have in the future

[animeshotsh]

You what? | Viktor x Jayce x Kid!Reader | Arcane ¤

Summary: Viktor knows Jayce sometimes does things without thinking, but this? This goes beyond his own limits.

Warnings: Mentions of trauma - Kid!Reader - Viktor and Jayce are a couple - OFF CANON EVENTS - Human traffic - GN Reader - PLATONIC - grammar mistakes -

When Viktor enters on monday morning into the lab with his coffee in hand he expects nothing but silence, after all he is here before Jayce most mornings.

But he stops in his tracks when he hears Jayce's voice, maybe sounding less...well less like him. He sounds like he is talking to a small animal. It reminds him on how he uses to talk to Rio when he was a kid.

Pushing memories aside Viktor retakes his way and goes deeper into the lab, where their experiments are.

And oh, if his illness did not kill him as most doctors had said then this would do it.

Jayce, using one of his experiments showing it to a kid who seems to be as suprised as any kid would be and perphas gives the most honest reactions to his inventions.

But wait, go back.

Jayce and a kid.

His cane hits the floor in suprise and he ends being watched by two pairs of eyes.

Jayce looks like he was discovered breaking some important rule, to which Viktor is centrain that bringing a kid into the lab counts as but he wont say it. And another pair that looks at him with curiosity.

There is silence, no one really knows what to say or how to act. But Jayce ends reacting, leaving the experiment and going to help Viktor with his cane who is feeling a headache coming.

"Hey Vik! long time no see, how's your house?"

Honestly? Viktor wants nothing more than to go back in time and insist that he is fine and does not need rest. Maybe like that he would have stayed with Jayce and prevent...this.

But time travel is something that is still on the making, so back to the main point.

Viktor just gives out the most tired look, then turns to a near chair, sits and taking his coffee simple says "Explain"

Becuase if there is something he has come to learn while dating and loving Jayce is that nothing should suprise him (and yet Jayce still manages to do it) and also, is better to ask upfront than to wait for him to talk up. Viktor can still remember that one time he found a big (illegal no less) plant at his home and Jayce ignored it for two hours till he asked.

"Well you see, its really funny actually..."

"Jayce...."

"Alright..., so I took a walk around campus and saw some...suspicious individuals and well lets say I was not very discrete"

Viktor can just imagine the scene

"And they saw me and ran but I chased after them"

Stupid move Viktor thinks

"And then they trow me this kid at me, i mean what could I have done? So i took them home, gave them a warm meal and a bath" Jayce ends sounding a bit too proud of himself.

"Jayce you...you stole a kid?" Viktor asks because he is confused "And did not report the incident?"

"Uh well i was going too but then (Y/N) started to wonder around so i kind of forgot..."

"(Y/N?" Viktor asks and sees you peeking out from behind the big desk.

"Yes! Thats their name, im not sure about much more, only that they like chocolate and blue stuff"

Viktor ends in silence for various minutes. You must be an orphan he concludes, an orphan from the undercity, who had no other choice but to follow a gang in order to survive. He tries to calculate your age but its hard, you have been not eating well, thats clear, and he can already see some bruises from the misstreatment of the undercity.

Being raised by parents or family its a luxury after all.

"Jayce you cant just take a kid in" Viktor says and his heart almost breaks as he sees you run towards Jayce hugging his legs.

Noted, you may not talk but you understand, its clear you are more intelligent than what you leave to be at first.

Street smart maybe?

"But Viktor! I cant just leave them" Jayce responds picking you up. "If they return to the undercity i dont think they will make it"

Jayce sees how you push your head against his chest and smiles softly at you.

"And we cant leaven them at an orphan home! I have read of these places, they suck"

Viktor must agree, its not like he comes from one but knows well that lots of kids ends being sold off...

"Alright and whats your plan?" Viktor asks "Do you even know what it means to raise a kid, or how? What about me? Were you going to consulte me?"

He can see the pain in Jayce eyes at his last sentence. "Of course I was! I was just thinking of a...well a good moment"

"Because bringing them to the lab was the perfect idea"

"I could not leave them at home! I mean i tried but- they would not let go of my leg, i think they have some type of trauma..."

Viktor takes another deep breath, Jayce kidness and heart knows no limits.

"Besides you did say you wanted to help the peopel from the undercity"

"This is different, we are talking about raising! adopting a kid!"

"So you are considering?" Jayce asks in the most hopeful tone ever.

Viktor just lets out another breath.

"Well, its not like they can go back and yes, orphan homes sucks" Viktor responds. "But we need to do this right. And i mean legally"

Jayce nods and all of him lights up like he has discover a new thing. He goes to Viktor carefully managing (Y/N) by his hands and leans down to peak Viktor's lips.

"Yes!! Totally! I will talk to Mel about it, im sure she can move some contacts for this" Jayce says and Viktor can see his brain making more and more plans.

"They also need clothes, and we should think of getting them into school" Viktor adds standing up with his cane and going closer. He can see (Y/N) eyes and cant denied how it makes his heart melts.

"Dad?" Its what you say looking at Viktor, then you look at Jayce "Mom?"

Jayce smiles and nods while Viktor is left without words. "Yes! We are your mom and dad now" he says pointing at him then at Viktor.

"Family?"

Jayce nods again

"...Chocolate?" You asks once more

"Alright thats all, if they eat too much sugar this place will be a disaster, you do remember we have dangerous things in here, right?"

Jayce nods at Viktor then whispers to you "We will get chocolate once we end work"

Viktor snorts then moves to his desk to finally start working and also to let his mind register everything. He hears the doors closing imagining Jayce went with you to talk to Mel.

But no, he feels a pull at his trousers and looks down at you who looks up at him extending your arms

"Dad! Up!"

Viktor does as told pulling you on his lap and passing you some papper and a pen. Both fall in a comfortable silence.

And Viktor thinks, this is something he can totally get used to.

[alarajrogers]

He's a leader, an inspiring figure, but not physically powerful. She's a badass -- a killer, a superhuman, someone the world fears -- and she will do anything to make sure his vision comes true. Including things he would hate to know about.

She's a leader, an inspiring figure. He's her strong second-in-command, totally loyal, smart and capable and people like him. He could be in command if he wanted to be, but he knows she's better at it, so he happily assists her.

One is a wizard. One is a sharpshooter, swordfighter, or martial artist. They fight crime!

She's his bodyguard.

They're on opposite sides of the conflict. They hate each other. They love each other. They try to kill each other but maybe not as hard as they could be trying.

He's a superhero. She was a superhero, until something disillusioned her, and now she tries to convince him he's on the wrong side, and he tries to convince her that she is. They are actually having sex, not just UST'ing.

He's a hero. She's a dragon. Do with that what you will.

He's naive and idealistic. She's cynical and jaded. But oh, how she wants to believe in the world he sees... even as she tries to convince him of the world as she knows it, because she doesn't want the world to hurt him.

One is a scientist. One is an elite government agent. They fight crime!

They're cops. They're partners. And when they find out how corrupt the department is, they have to rely on each other to survive as the entire police force they gave their working lives to come after them to kill them.

They're both spies. When will they find out the other one is an enemy spy?

She seems like a typical housewife. That's because the entire world wants to kill her for being the most dangerous human being alive, and no one would suspect a PTA mom of being that person. He knows what she is and will do anything he can to hide her... until the day she's forced to reveal herself to save him.

He's a starship captain. She's a trickster god.

She was born to a long line of humans who can control supernatural entities. He's a proud supernatural entity who hates how much he wants to submit to this inferior human... who has the power to control him, but won't invoke it until he asks her.

I mean, I could do this all day. Ships don't even have to be queer to be great. They just have to have the man and the woman on equal footing, with each having power though their power might be in different domains. The entire probelm with het ships is how the woman is generally in some way treated as an ancilliary to the man. Either she's better than him at everything and yet for some reason he's the chosen hero, or he's better than her at most things, or we are told she is awesome but she never gets to show it. So don't do that. Give them both power and show how they are separately both powerful, and how putting them together makes them both stronger (unless it doesn't because they're fighting each other.)

"how can m/f ships be good-" first of all through the power of bisexuality anything is possible so write that down. second of all if we start othering ships based on gender and nothing else we're no better than the opposition. third of all you need to watch more addams family

[yanmuffins]

First warning, I'm stoned as 🦆 while writing this.

Okay, I can't stop thinking about your response to the DC vs Vampires were you added that Dick would look at a Vampire Reader and go, "Premade! Yes!"

Cause I'm just thinking of Reader being seen as not just a fledgling but an abandoned, newborn vampire. In Vampire Dick's mind, her sire a should have fought to take her. But also, let it be miscommunication and differences between two completely different universes vampire cultures. In the Vampire King's would, most fledglings have to stick to their sires and constantly take in the sires blood to form a permanent, unbreakable link. Which is why Dick was only personally making thralls from his friends and family he felt confident he could control. Other vampires were made by other vampires. Yes, you could just turn someone and leave them high and dry. But it leads to weaker vampires, usually.

So Vampire King Dick, who initially wanted to conquer a different world, sees his dead baby sister he wasn't able to save. She's already a vampire. But she's starving! And her sire left her to be weak and sickly.

Just deciding, "I trust my armies to lay waste to this world. I'm just going to grab this one," yoinks Reader, "and leave. Bye. Don't give my servants too much indigestion."

This also leads to trying to feed the Reader his own blood, to take over the weak bond of the sire. Even weirder if it gets compared to how a child has to nurse from their mother. So, in a way, he's trying to take the role of dad.

And it reignites his craving for a family. So he scrapes together a bunch of remains and has Raven revive his siblings. All kept in different cells and him turning them and telling them about finding Reader, all grown up in a different universe. This does lead to Dick complaining like a dad, though.

"Timmy keeps refusing to latch. I swear, that boy! He used to be so polite and well mannered, then Bruce ruined him. And yeah, I stomped in his skull. He can of course be mad about that. But to refuse to drink my blood because he doesn't want to bond to me even more than he already has is ridiculous! I have half a mind to mitten and muzzle him and seal him in a casket for a few weeks! It'd be a good way to put him in time out. No, I don't think it's excessive!"

"Jay Bird keeps gnawing at himself in stress, but I don't know if he's ready yet for his first teething toy. He still believes that humans are equal to vampires. I don't think he'd actually drink from any toy I got him. I don't want him to feel guilty over biting apart a a regular person, but I worry specifically giving him a pedo or a trafficker would lead him to rip them apart without even drinking from them or chewing them to get rid of stress! Hmm. Babies usually have frozen peaches, during teething. Do you think I could freeze some blood so he can chew it like ice? Or maybe make gummies to stress chew on?"

"Cass is actually drinking really well. Though, she does still attempt to rip out my veins. Isn't it so cute? I little fearsome fledgling! I had to use a pair of manacle on her ankles to try to secure her better. I didn't want to do so to her wrists cause that'd be like muzzling her, and she hasn't been that bad yet."

"Steph is concerning with how often she manages to find wood she can turn into a stake. She also manages to find rats all the time. She calls them Capri Suns for vampires. I think I'll need to get her checked for rabies. Or the bubonic plague."

"Duke's powers make it nearly impossible to let him off his Meta suppression collar and cuffs... Yes, I had to put three suppression devices on him. I'm so proud. He's so strong! But the ability is far too dangerous to be around any vampire. Let alone if he hurts himself!"

"Reader took a bit, but she latches so well! She's cute that she falls asleep almost immediately after biting me. I'm a little concerned that it's because she didn't have enough blood before. Especially since she is even drinking enough to be full for a regular vampire, let alone a fledgling. And she doesn't seem to have much energy either. Maybe a feeding tube will help?"

context &. context.

warning: spoilers for dc vs vampires.

this was a rollecoaster. i love this. don't even know what to add. it's been a while since i read dc vs vampires, so i don't remember the vampiric mechanics very well. but...

"in the Vampire King's world, most fledglings have to stick to their sires and constantly take in the sires blood to form a permanent, unbreakable link."

... this actually exists in v*tm mechanics and it's called a blood bond! if someone feeds on a vampire's blood three times within a certain period of time that forms a supernatural link that creates an intense feeling of love towards the vampire they are blood-bonded to. it can affect anyone, from mortal to vampire. but since vampire! reader and vampire king dick are from different universes, i'm not sure it would work either way.

you know what's funny? as awful as reader's sire is, it's not even their fault reader is starving in this scenario (and given that other ask, they might even be smuggling blood bags into the manor for her), it's because batfam is keeping her captive. and considering the circumstances, breaking into the wayne manor to kidnap the daughter of the most important man in the city is not the smartest of moves, but dick lowkey does have a point.

but feeding reader his blood, with no certainty that a blood bond would occur given their differences, is just a straight up bad move. reader would absolutely get stronger and escape. vampire king dick is even at risk of being diablerized by vampire! reader. but he can pamper and coo over her as much as he wants while she's still weak and regaining strenght.

i think taking the fatherly role dick assumes with his siblings and then just turning it into something twisted with vampire king dick is such an interesting idea, though. it could make an amazing fic but i've got my hands full at the moment. not expanding on that on this post because it'd be too long, but toreador! reader who has traversed vampire society, is acquainted with the social machinations of her clan and actually knows how to use her disciplines would be baffled by vampire king dick, and he would be baffled by her in return. he can't believe his little sister would grow into someone like that.

also

vampire king dick with his siblings:

[sheepwavehdg]

HDG recs: Popular ones

Gonna list some of my favorite stories (In no particular order), even if they're popular enough you probably don't need me to tell you about them. I do what the fuck I want.

Abscission by fluxom: the story that truly kickstarted the HDG fandom as the expansive world it became. this sharp romance story follows a terran with severe paranoia and a severely depressed affini as they find love and comfort in each other. also in doing drugs. mind the content warnings!

Through the Looking Glass by Pyxxiestyx and Mothcourt: the quintisential corruption fic, framed around an alice in wonderland allegory. one of the raunchiest fics in the entire setting, and probably one of the better first stories for a new reader.

Courtship by Teagan_the_doll: romance with an affini can be more insidious than you think. a pot of water whose heat gets turned up so subtley that youll be right there with the protag when you realize it was a noncon story the whole time.

Dog of War by Mindcrank: currently the most popular fic in the entire setting, and for damn good reason. a story about a hardened mercenary being turned into a happy princess by a very young and very overconfident youngbloom.

Soar Higher, Fall Farther by sapphicsounds: a story about the inherent sapphic eroticism of two predators hunting each other, while some floret watches from the side. has some of the most vivid, poetic language in the entire setting, and it is absolutely caprivating to read the sheer romance of the fight/sex that these two idiots get up to.

Human Domestication Guide by GlitchyRobo: you almost certainly do not need me to tell you about this one, but why not. While the tone of ogHDG is noticably divergent from later works, it is still an absolutely fantastic abduction and breaking story, that hit me exactly where I needed to be hit at a very particular time in my life. the contract chapter in this story is the most memorable bit of noncon I have ever read.

No Gods, No Masters by kanagen: a small nation state of communists who managed to overthrow the accord locally are discovered by the Affini, and the affini demonstrate that you dont need to be fascististic for them to beleive you belong in thier vines.

Five Lives by PyxxieStyxx: Trusting is hard. very, very hard, especially to those who have been hurt and betrayed the most. the saga of 25, going from tortured government experiment to actualized person, no matter how hard it is for them to be vulnerable.

Good Sensory by sheepwave(me): A fluffy romance that follows both sides of the courtship from a human and affini perspective. celebrates autistic romance and being loved as the person you actually are, rather than the one society tells you you're supposed to be. they're my lists and you cant stop me from including my own stories or putting my girlfreind on twice 😎

Honorable mentions: I havent gotten around to reading more than a few chapters of either of them yet, but ive heard nothing but incredible things about One Analyst's Opinion by stuck_in_pi and The Grand Folia Hotel by keysmasht and have loved the small bit ive had a chance to sink my teeth into!

[drjdorr]

Got inspired to do fan fic of a d and d game I play in(in the d and d setting) from this prompt but it was Looooong so I put a "read more" so it doesn't fill people's entire dash

Jysgo is brought out, not wearing his customarily finery since they didn't want to risk him inevitably having a hidden dagger they failed to find, to a massive arena. He nodded in something that could almost be praise, he had asked for his execution to be a spectacle, Sinabi had delivered.

The stands were crowded with spectators, while most looked at Jysgo with hatred, many even futility trying to throw stuff at him, he did notice more than a few sending a bit of that venom in the king's direction. Probably wasn't a good look doing the very thing that the giants the rebelled against did, even if it was at the condemned's request.

Jysgo gave a smug smirk towards Sinabi who fumed back in return. Jysgo was sure the human could work around this, adapt, the cleverness was something that Jysgo almost respected about the surface dweller.

Looking around the stadium, Jysgo saw the rest of the royal entourage scattered throughout. The elven Queen Maeralya of course sitting next to her husband, she looked more outfitted for court than battle Jysgo noticed, though he knew with her being a wizard looks could be deceiving. Khar along with his cult of gnolls wasn't hard to find with their distinctively colored cloaks. Neither was Zzissu with her contrasting Abeil stripes, buzzing overhead. And hard to miss the brightly colored 15 foot mushroom that was known as the Monkanid. Jysgo had to scan the crowd for the half elf Hugo, they didn't look that threatening with only a bow out, but Jysgo had seen just how deadly that bow could be. And glancing at the armored soldiers across from him, Jysgo felt no surprise seeing the dromite Kato.

"Jysgo Olar-" Sinabi began

"Spymaster Jysgo Olar, Giant Slayer, Troll Slayer, and the elf responsible for doing what was needed to save this kingdom" Jysgo corrected

"Jysgo Olar," Sinabi persisted with a snarl, refusing to use the drow's mostly self appointed titles, "for the massacre of innocent people, you have been sentenced to death by a method of Your Own choosing," He gestures around, "that being by combat against armed combatants while you yourself are armed with a wooden training sword."

"I felt like the challenge." Jysgo said to the guard holding him who seemed less than amused

"Have you any last words?" Sinabi regretted the words almost as soon as they left his mouth

"But of course." Jysgo said with a grin, "people of this fine kingdom, I admit it, I killed those innocent people." He let the expectation angry responses die down before he continued, "but all I did was what I was paid to do. I was paid to fix problems, and the best solution to the problem had those dozens of people die, so thousands of people could live." He emphasizes his statement by gesturing out at the crowd with his shackled hands.

"We don't trade innocent lives"

"Sure you do, what would you call it when innocent people join your army. You traded their innocent lives for them to fight to protect all of their innocent lives. How is what I did any worse?"

"Because they chose to fight to protect others, the people you killed didn't choose!"

"But do they really know what they will face joining your ar-"

Thunder interrupts Jysgo's rebuttal as Sinabi stands, "you had your trial, this is your execution! Bailiff, give him his sword!"

Jysgo could barely hide his smile as the guard pushes a wooden practice sword into his hands, he had annoyed the man and better yet, people had begun to whisper among the crowd. Didn't matter how accurate what he said was, so long as it got people questioning the current regime, though that out burst certainly didn't hurt.

As the bailiff started walking away Jysgo held up his shackled hands, "aren't these going to be unlocked?"

"I had assumed they already had been"

Jysgo shrugged as he flicked them open, "I mean you aren't wrong. Though it is interesting how you are so quick to execute the person with the most dirt o-"

"Enough," thunder rolled before he turned to the warriors across from Jysgo, "just get this over with already"

Jysgo crouched into a fighting stance as the armored fighters charged at him. At a glance he counted 9 besides Kato.

The first one arrived and swung his sword, which Jysgo blocked with a slashing motion, taking careful steps, one at a time, to get the best positions.

Wood slivers flew from his blade with every blocked strike whittling away his sword till he suddenly dodged to the side avoiding the warhammer that crumpled in the breastplate Jysgo had seen the strike coming in.

"You seem to have missed," Jysgo mocked as he began dodging the swings of the warhammer. "Slow, predictable, and," he stabbed his sharpened training sword under the armpit causing a gurgling gasp as his opponent dropped his hammer, "leaves you open." As he withdrew the blade he mused, "seems I hit a lung. I'm not use to using such off balance weapons, I was aiming for the heart." He casually side stepped a flail before closing the distance and shoving the tip in a small gap under the chest before withdrawing it to a collapsed opponent, "that's better."

He rolled away as a man whose armor was more spikes than armor tried to grab him before giving a sigh, "too easy." He ducked under the next swing of his arms, snapping one hand cuff onto him before yanking his arm to block an oncoming glaive, "not wanting to wait your turn?" He then yanked the spiked armored warrior's arm to stab his own head, "very well, I was just finishing with him," before he blocked the next swing and pinned it down with the cross guard of his training sword, running down the haft to be right in front of him and in a movement faster than the eye could follow, Jysgo's blade slid into the eye slit of his opponent.

"This is fun and all but this will be easier like this," with a few quick gestures and words he was seemingly gone. And quickly the vulnerabilities of their armors were shown to all as bleeding holes opened up on them one by one as they desperately looked and flailed around for the invisible drow, an occasional amused chuckle being all any of them had to guess on till the only ones left on the field were Kato, a young goliath with a mace, and that drow.

"On our right" Kato called out in time for the goliath to turn his shield and hear wood on metal as a smiling drow suddenly appeared

"And here I was worried that this would be boring" Jysgo joked before recasting his invisibility before an ax swung just close enough that a few white hairs fluttered to the arena floor.

"You can't sneak up on us traitor, I can smell you approach." Kato said, making sure they were close enough to the goliath to give him fair warning Also how in the hive do you smell so clean, you've been locked in a cell!"

"It's called proper hygiene. Surely with such cramped living conditions, you dromites are familiar." The sound of wood on wood can be heard as Kato blocks a strike, "and being a traitor would require I was on your side. You of all people should understand I was only ever on my side"

A few moments of silence. A small puff of dust is kicked up.

"Ignore it," Kato tells the goliath as he turns his shield in that direction, "it's an obvious mis- LEFT!"

The two quickly turn in the direction of the drow who only gives the slight crunch of moving sand as he twists past the goliath's shield and Kato feels a few warm droplets before swinging their shield and sending the revisible drow tumbling as the goliath collapses, the blade having snuck under the edge of his helmet into the soft lower pallet.

"Not my cleanest work," Jysgo said as he stands, flicking blood off his blade giving his shoulder a little roll, "your nasty trick of being able to smell me made an inconvenient-" he barely had time to jump back as Kato's ax swung were his unprotected intestines were a moment ago, the proximity to the enchanted weapon leaving a line of frost across Jysgo's shirt.

They went back and forth, Kato almost casually blocking every strike from Jysgo and Jysgo dodging the lethal swings of Kato's ax sometimes only by a hair with Kato moving in as quickly as his little legs can carry him

At one point Jysgo has a moment of time and goes invisible again.

"I thought we established this traitor!" Kato yelled, their eyes trained as close onto where they smelt Jysgo as they could, "I! Can! Smell! You!"

Jysgo didn't respond before suddenly charging at the dromite, his blade dragging in the sand, kicking it up in a clear line.

Kato had no time to guess what he was doing before the blade was picked up from the ground, Kato's shield braced when they smelled the drow go up. A great strategy for anyone who couldn't smell him Kato thought to themself as they raised their shield to follow the drow's arc before they felt a pair of soft impacts, not like wood on wood, more like... Kato suddenly realizes what's happening as they notice they're right next to the wall

Jysgo jumped off the dromite's shield and manged to grab the edge of the wall and pulled himself up

"He's making a break for it!" Kato shouted as the rest of the royal entourage moves into action.

Jysgo begins to book it ,he knows how fast they can move as he hears Sinabi order the arena locked down, no one in or out.

He ducks behind a pillar as his invisibility drops, already partway through a spell to disguise himself. He has moments before- he leaps out of the way as a lightning bolt crashes into where he was just standing. Good news, people are panicking and that can provide cover. Bad news, the abeil had found him before he could get a disguise up.

He started moving with the crowd, the worst attacks most of them had hit wide areas, they wouldn't risk firing them into a crowd. Unfortunately people in the crowd where recognizing him and moving away. Also Unfortunately from the slight rumble, the giant mushroom was approaching fast.

Suddenly a nearby section of the stands burst into flames, and then another and another. Suddenly the crowd was less concerned with the condemned criminal and more concerned with getting away from the flames. It also distracted the entourage long enough for Jysgo to slip into one of the interior tunnels along with some of the crowd.

Taking this quick window Jysgo brought up his disguise, an older human man, and especially made sure to disguise his prisoner rags. Right as the glamor finished the hulking form of the myconid entered the hall, its head going side to side, searching the crowd as a faint amount of spores drifted from it.

Obviously nothing dangerous, Sinabi would never allow it... but comunication spores he probably would. Easy enough to work around, Jysgo thought, just don't think into the group. Easy.

And suddenly the minds of everyone in that hall was bombarded by everyone else's thoughts. Jysgo watched on in amusement as everyone suddenly jolted in surprise and confusion, some clutching their heads from their minds suddenly being so filled with others thoughts. It's only as the fungus' face locked onto him and the face of his disguise was broadcasted across the mental link that Jysgo realized his error in staying calm and collected and started shoving through the crowd as in contrast it parted as fast as it could for the usually terrifyingly fast behemoth after him.

Jysgo looked for an escape route that he wouldn't be followed through and never hated living in such an accommodating multi cultural place more. And then he saw a maintenance door and moved towards it.

The slight rumble, far to quite for something of that size, told him how close it was behind him as he reached the door and went to open it. Locked. He slammed his fist against the door, locked. Again, locked. Again, it had unlocked and he slipped inside as he felt the spongy fingers barely miss him before slamming the door shut.

"Hey buddy," A gnome looked at the human(drow) who had just ran into the maintenance area, slightly out of breath, "this is a restricted area. You can't just come in here."

Jysgo took a moment to composed himself before replying, "I am an inspector doing a surprise inspection." He tapped the door he had just come through, "you see this door? I just demonstrated with a proper impact in the right location, the locking mechanism comes undone. That is not a secure door and you should see about getting that replaced."

"...Uh-huh." The gnome slowly responds before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a sending stone and begins talking into it, "Hey central? Can someone let Sinabi kn- ghk" he clutches at his throat which had just had a foot hit full force into it before it stomped onto the stone, breaking it.

"Today has been a bad day," Jysgo says to the slowly passing out gnome, unable to breath past his crushed larynx, "I'm usually great under pressure, but usually I'm aware ahead of time of pressure and usually it's only handling someone as dangerous as one of those guys, I've got seven." Jysgo sighed looking down at the unconscious gnome, "they know what door I went through, I'm sure someone will be here before you suffocate, maybe. Like I said, bad day, usually I'm more professional." Looking at the gnome before heading off he redoes his disguise, it's a bit taller than the gnome should be but should be good enough at a distance.

He heads into the bowels of maintenance, he knew the back areas of the city enough that he could navigate it with his eyes closed. Unfortunately the only places he could navigate in here is other places in this maintenance or the arena above as the arena was a relatively closed system and didn't connect to any other buildings through their tunnels. He would definitely have tried to change that if it wasn't for the wanted for execution thing. Jysgo smiled to himself atleast it's accurate this time and not some sloppy frame job

He finds the door to concessions and goes through. The food prep area was mostly abandoned at this point, and quite a bit of the ingredients had been replaced with flasks of a rather reactive liquid.

"You know," Jysgo turned towards the masked figure sitting behind him, silent as the grave, "you could have set off the fires a little earlier Number Two. Would have made things way easier"

The masked figure slid off his seat to stand before Jysgo and flashing him some quick signs of drow sign language <sorry sir. The abeil found you sooner than expected>

"Whatever. Did you aquire my things?"

<yes, our associate dropped them off after escorting you to the arena> Number Two handed the box of possessions to Jysgo who quickly opened it and began dressing himself in his proper attire.

"You never realize how nice that protective aura of magic is till you lose it." He wiggles his body making sure everything sits correctly as he slides his wooden blade into a loop of his belt. "Is everything in position to move to contingency stage 2?"

<yes sir>

"Then let's do it"

‐---------------------------------------

"Drow matching Jysgo's hight and build heading your way Khar" Zzissu said over the comunication spores

"On it"

The gnoll hid in wait for the drow. Seeing him, he looked like Jysgo, down to the finest detail, but Khar could see he didn't ask like Jysgo. Firstly, moving so openly looking as himself? Standing so casually when he needs to hide? Moving into a sparsely populated area when the entourage is hunting him? Heck he didn't even move like Jysgo.

Khar stepped out startling the imposter who stood tall and held the practice blade in a fencing stance. Khar could see he'd never held a blade like that in his life.

"Alright, you found me. But I will not go down with out a-"

"Where is Jysgo?" Khar interrupted, not having time for this game

"I think clearly I am righ-ugh" a wall of ice slams him into the ceiling, only his head sticking out as Khar repeats the question

"Where is Jysgo?"

"Ow. ow. I don't-ow. I think you broke my- ow everything"

"Hardly. I can demonstrate how wrong you are if I have to repeat myself though"

"I don't- ow know! I- ow don't know! I was to- ow told when I got the call to come in h- ow here, when confr- ow confronted to pretend to be- ow him, you'd go easy on me. And- ow at the end I'd get a hundred gold. I'd be set for li- ow life."

"We got fake Jysgos," Khar reported over the mental link as he left the imposter pinned to the ceiling

"Yeah, I'm starting to notice more than a few suddenly cropping up," Zzissu responded looking over the crowd in the stands

"Just caught 2 in maintenance," Kato reported

"I see one by concessions," the Monkanid passed on

"On just ran by near the main entrance, didn't approach the gate" Maeralya reported in

"Just had one try to attack me in storage" Sinabi continued the trend, "wasn't hard to catch him in his leap and it appears atleast some are in a glamor"

"Just found one mid applying the glamor by Jysgo's cell," Hugo said, "and we may have some unforseen issues. Because this was Jysgo's bailiff"

---------------------------------------

Jysgo looked down at the chaos as his imposters swarmed around the stadium his former allies trying chase them down incase it is him. And yet he easily climbed to the top of the arena once he got his magic focus for longer invisibility and his spider climb cloak.

He took out a sending stone, and checked for any pesky fliers before confirming they were lower down and speaking into it, "I believe it's time for stage 3"

----------------------------------------------

"Sir- Sinabi- your grace- sir?"

Sinabi looked at the frazzled individual, a lesser noble, important enough to have been sent to him but not in charge of anything really, "what do you need? We are a little busy right now"

"I know si-sina-your- yes I know, but I was sent to tell you the city is on fire"

"I'm sorry what, actually one moment" Sinabi switches his attention from the noble to Zzissu to communicate over the spores, "Zzissu, you have the easiest access to the sky, I just got told the city is on fire"

Zzissu zoomed up to check and looked out over the city, unaware of the drow sitting and watching invisibly so close

"Yes. Nothing big yet but there is alot of fires, all over the city. Only major areas untouched are the palace and gnoll hill."

Sinabi looked at the noble, "thank you for your warning, we will handle it" and began to head for the exit, informing everyone what needs done when the noble interrupted him

"He did ask me to pass on another message"

Sinabi stopped and turned towards the man, "who?"

"The young gnoll who told me the city was on fire and to tell you. Weirdly clean gnoll too, only gnoll I've ever seen that clean is high priest Khar." Seeing the face on Sinabi's face he got to the message, "right, he told me to tell you, 'how do you think they'll react to the placements?' And asked me to give you this. Said it would explain stuff." He pulls out a small coin marked with symbols, the same kind of coin Jysgo was fond of using as a training tool for his agents.

-----------------------------------

<so sir,> Number Two signed as they and Jysgo slipped through the city, avoiding the entourage as they fought to control the strategically placed infernos, <what are your plans now?>

"Well I certainly can't stay here, and they know where your loyalties lie. Well as much as I do atleast. Probably going to have to lay low for a decade or two." Number Two didn't voice their doubts that Jysgo Could lay low for a full decade let alone two, "but once things have calmed down enough that learning where I am will send them hunting me down? Well, there are plenty of towns, cities, and kingdoms we could rebuild in. But we're definitely going to want to get out of here before stage 4 starts itself and the people tear this place to the ground." He chuckles at the thought

A noble sentenced to die is allowed to choose their execution method. They ask to die in honourable combat against the king's knights, armed with a wooden sword while the knights have real weapons. It's been 24 hours since the execution started and the king is running out of knights.

[sherlockggrian]

gonna talk about lore for a second cause it's eating away at me here

this is all entirely personal and 80% made up with zero basis other than the ongoing au for hermitcraft/life in my head, btw. Grian has steadily been getting more confident and dangerous with his powers since the end of season 8. He was terribly afraid of them and refused to use them for the first few years after Evo, and it took a long time during season 9 for him to be more comfortable. Each life series he gets more and more powerful and has more influence over the game. He's still not on the side of the watchers themselves.

In season 10, he uses it casually. He sits on the dock and mentally flies around the server to check on everyone. He can jump in and out of worlds and universes. He can stop time and talk to people in their dreams. Pearl has some powers as well, though she is not a true watcher in the sense and thus isn't quite the same as Grian. I was thinking about Taurtis, and how he made Grian and probably Pearl into what they are, and how he's the reason the watchers are so obsessed with Grian and his group specifically - becayse though Taurtis has lost most of what made him human, forgotten his human form and thinks mostly as a powerful entity, he still has this connection and ties to the other Evo players.

Which is why Grian and Pearl want to kill him. Permanently. They cause a rip in the world borders of Hermitcraft, and Taurtis comes to them, and during the fight something goes wrong and Taurtis ends up posessing Grian. He's now sort of two people, with Taurtis able to control him sometimes, but Grian powerful enough to fight it off. This small disruption in the world is enough for the watchers to trap the players into Wild Life.

Grian/Taurtis choose the wild cards. Grian knows what is going to happen, yet is somewhat powerless to stop it. He's in this sort of interal war while also trying to keep his friends alive (and failing miserably). Scar, who believes the canary curse being broken last time is what let him beat the watchers (he won instead of Gem, the one who the watchers wanted), is working dsperately to stop Jimmy from dying.

Pearl is the only one who knows about Grian. She's keeping quiet, waiting for the right moment to intervene again, like she did last season. They always keep their distance from each other because they know they're the ones who can sort of protect everyone as best they can from the watchers, and it works better when they are spread out. Their alliance is very thin at best. Despite their powers, they don't trust each other.

And Bigb, once again, is there to observe. He is not a watcher, or a listener, but something else, a 3rd being that the watchers keep a careful eye on. He could end everything, if he wanted, he wasn't even intended to be there, but he chooses to go along with it, for reasons unknown to anyone but him. He is not allied with the watchers, but he does nothing to prevent their attacks. Nobody knows where he came from, or where he goes when the games are over. He is merely there.

[matthewmoorwood]

Kettricken being the only 'royalty' to apologise to Fitz and see him as a human being with regrets about how they used his skills means so much to me. Most other characters saw his sufferings as a necessary evil but the scene where Kettricken grieves over Nighteyes which invites Fitz to grieve in the awful heaving sobs kind of way is so deeply important to me.

Like. So far only Beloved has been determined to remind Fitz that he is more than a tool in the Farseers hands, and now Kettricken THE QUEEN is also showing genuine sympathy for him.

RAAAH Fitz you deserve so much better than what you have.

As a sidenote, their friendship really does just add to the Wit being a metaphor for Queerness thing bc Kettricken saying "I am ashamed that you face such things seemingly alone. In truth I hate that such bigotry still exists in the Six Dutchies (...) I wished to let my Witted folk know that my justice was available to them."

LIKE.

Ofc Kettricken is hardly a perfect Queen, Robin Hobb has never written a perfect character in any of her books. but Fuck if it doesn't hurt to see yet another relationship that should have been beautiful and easy if Fitz hadn't had it beaten into him that he doesn't deserve companionship.

[redvexillum]

Hey there my sweetest, beloved Vexi ♡

I just wanted to share something personal with you that you can then share with others because I know that they feel the same.

Writing has always been my passion. It's been the one thing that has kept me afloat in my life. Regardless of whether people love my writing or hate it, I would continue for the sake of continuing because it is my life.

But when I rejoined fandom spaces, I was terrified after hearing stories of how the culture had changed significantly. Interaction is lower, and hate has unfortunately always made its home in these communities. Given I share fanfiction solely to share with the aforementioned communities, I found myself afraid that I would get hate messages. I was afraid I wouldn't have a community that would stand up for me if that were to happen. While it would never deter me from what I love, I was scared that friendships and positivity were long dead in this space. Fandom felt lonely.

You know what though? I have met wonderful person after wonderful person. And then I met you too. There you are, getting some of the most horrendous messages I've ever seen sent to another human being, and you continue to push for positivity - smiling and laughing with us about how much you just want to see people happy.

Then you went on to start share some of the wonderful messages you recieved throughout that ordeal, only to begin writing positive affirmations and thoughts for us. Once upon a time, I struggled to accept this sort of positivity, I will admit that. When I was having a rough time, I would often see messages like that as 'hollow' for a lack of better words. I would be angry or bitter that others could think like that when I struggled so much to feel like those words should have meant something to me.

While time has passed since I was that person, I still remember the feeling of hopelessness, yet that doesn't deter from the fact that people like you - and countless others - single handedly restored my faith in these communities.

People like you remind me why I cling to my ideals of treating everyone with kindness no matter what. To try to understand other people. To help others. These are all things that bring us closer together. People like you, @silva-daemonium, @fraugwinska, @macabr3-barbi3, @chrisemrysfics, @melodyonthewireless, @dewdropdinosaur, @xalygatorx, @kewpikayo, @jurijyuu, @jalicecookie, AND SO MANY MORE do so much to support those around you.

All of this came about because I wanted to say thank you for posting those short little messages of encouragment. I know that I have appreciated them. Sure, they might seem a little cheesy to me on a morning when I'm tired - but they really make me smile, and prepare me to tackle whatever the day gives.

You're the beating heart of positivity.

It's a fairytale ending to the horror stories I expected.

I know that other people will see this too, so I just wanted to wish everyone that sees this a relaxing morning, afternoon, evening - timezone in general! You're here, and you've worked hard to be here all this time. Everything you've needed to do to achieve that, you've done. That's huge. I'm so proud of everyone, and my DMs are always open to anyone who might be struggling or just wants to talk. I'll always aim to help my community in the same way that Vexi has demonstrated.

Love to you all, and again, thank you for your messages, Vexi!

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Cirice, I honestly don’t have the words to fully capture how much your kindness means to me. You are truly one of the most thoughtful, beautiful souls I’ve ever had the honor to meet, and I can’t thank you enough for your words. Knowing that something I’ve done has made even a small impact on people like you is still so surreal to me. I’m just deeply grateful that you’re part of this community.

You and so many others are the reason why I’ve stayed here longer than in any other fandom. It’s been the most heartwarming experience. This community, especially people like you, has genuinely transformed my perspective on what fandoms can be: a space filled with compassion, creativity, and connection.

Thank you for sharing your story, for giving me (and others) a piece of your heart. I hope your words reach others, inspiring them to create, to feel they belong, and to understand how wonderful it is to be part of something like this. Knowing we’re all here together, finding meaning in these connections, it makes the world feel a little less lonely and a lot brighter. 💖

Also tagging the people that didn't get properly tagged because tumblr is broken: @dewdropdinosaur @xalygatorx @kewpikayo @jurijyuu @jailcecookie

[stellardeer]

I feel like a lot of people in various reblog chains of this post have kinda lost the plot, so I'm reblogging this version to bring the emphasis back on the AI "detectors".

Whether something like Grammarly is considered AI or not is a little irrelevant, but most people consider using a spelling/grammar checker to not "count" as AI (despite the fact that you may be able to write out a bunch of nonsense and have Grammarly correct it over and over until it passes as a sentence)

And what a teacher will generally use an AI detector for is to check if the student wrote the paper or prompted an AI to give them a paper. As far as I know, Grammarly can't finish your entire document for you based on prompts (but I haven't used it so feel free to correct me) so I feel like a lot of the notes trying to argue whether it counts as AI or whether auto correct is useless now are just getting away from the point this point was supposed to be making:

You can't trust an AI detection software to accurately predict whether something was AI generated.

And part of the reason for that is that AI-detection software could ALSO be considered a form of AI. It is limited both by the dataset being fed to it to determine whether something is or isn't AI, and by any biases of the human who programmed it. If the programmer writes a program that says "look for anything that isn't perfect English and flag it as AI", they are showing that they don't trust anything written in broken English. I'm not sure why it might flag a word like "devoid", but if the AI detector is looking for patterns amongst known AI samples and the word "devoid" comes up a lot, it might just assume that any text using the word "devoid" has a higher chance of being AI generated.

Let's go back to the Both Of These Are Bad part.

It shouldn't need explaining why AI detectors falsely flagging ESL writers' works as AI is just bad and just contributing to systemic racism, so let's talk about the ways in which it can be harmful to native English speakers.

As stated above, it's interesting that an AI detector might flag words that seem "complex", while much of mainstream writing is trending towards simplification, for better or for worse. It could mean that since a lot of non-AI writing is so simplistic, anything that deviates from that is considered abnormal. Or it could, again, just be a programmed bias of the author of the program. I think this is more the point that thebibliosphere might have been trying to make, not that Grammarly specifically is evil AI that's making everyone write bad, but that a larger cultural shift to more simplistic language is happening and when things like Grammarly tell you to simplify your phrases or an AI detector tells you that your essay was AI generated because you used a big word, it's encouraging this simplification at a much faster rate than if human editors and teachers were directing their writers/students to do so.

Grammar software is perfectly optional for professionals, of course, but if a student is going to fail a class because their essay can't pass an AI detector, well, they can't really opt out of that. They have to change their wording to something that might not be as vibrant as what they originally wrote, or risk failing and potentially worse action depending on a school's plagiarism policies. It's essentially going to train kids to write in specific ways to get around it, and they might not understand why their paper was flagged or what AI even is yet, they're just going to assume that their writing was wrong and needs to be fixed. And let's not assume that only the kids writing their own essays are doing this, either. If kids can write a whole paper using AI and then change a couple of words so that it passes the detector, they're going to do that too!

Again, the point here is that the AI detectors are not infallible, often make racist assumptions, and cannot be the only method used to check whether something was AI generated.

I don't really have a good conclusion because I don't have the answer to this problem, because it goes beyond students in a classroom and you won't always get a document history to check. I just felt like this post was losing it's direction and I needed to clarify it for my own sanity.

[babybluebae-933]

I haven’t heard a word you’ve said, and… I’ll get you to Vulcan somehow.

One day I will write an entire essay about this moment but for now this is all I have in me.

This is the kindest thing Kirk could have said to Spock in this moment, and it shows how well Kirk knows him. He doesn’t try to convince him that he shouldn’t be embarrassed about it (well he does at first, Vulcans are not the birds and the bees captain) he doesn’t try to convince him to be logical about it. Being embarrassed is SO illogical and Spock fucking knows that and reminding him of that fact would only make it worse.

He literally begs to be locked away, he begs Kirk to basically take him out back and put him out of his misery old yeller style. SPARE him the indignity of explaining himself to anyone or being subjected to the will of his own deep dark desires and motives. Kirk orders him to explain and Spock says no that some things transcend even the discipline of the service (then Kirks like ok what if I pinky promise I won’t tell and Spocks like ok fine, which is also so cute but a whole other thing) either way it’s obvious he would literally rather die than tell anyone what’s going on, and he’s actively trying to run away from it.

I thought I would be spared the indignity… but the ancient drives are too strong, eventually it catches up.

This is why Kirk is so special, and this is why he understands Spock better than anyone else. Humans have pride, humans have ego. Spock decided to live the Vulcan way and swear off all that stuff but it’s still inside him. We can assume one of two things, either he truly never has any emotions, or he has them but won’t show them. And God damn if being that fucking stubborn isn’t the most human thing about him. I can’t remember which episode it is but some other time when a red shirt is laying into him for being so cold and insensitive Bones gets defensive, and Spock says it’s okay doctor-

Sometimes they forget I’m half human too.

You can be half human, but you can’t be half Vulcan, you can’t be “half” emotionless. He would be ashamed to let the mask slip, and he’s ashamed that he would feel shame for this. For showing his human nature, because that is the MOST un-Vulcan thing to do. What do they expect from him? To show his feelings would be humiliating, hiding them gets him ridiculed, they bully him for it, yet no one ever treats him as if he could have any feelings about the matter at hand, whatever it may be.

When Spock is insisting that he never feels such trivial emotions as anger or annoyance or fear he is convincing himself as much as anyone else, that is his comfort. It’s true as long as he and everyone else believes it. It’s his comfort and everyone else’s in some cases; if all else fails we can at least count on Spock being cold and logical.

It’s no use to convince him that he shouldn’t be embarrassed because it’s natural or because it happens to everyone or whatever the reason is; because

Spock knows that already. Biology and nature are factual and neutral

Spock knows that being embarrassed is totally illogical

He also knows that being embarrassed especially about something that IS so natural and normal is super-duper un-Vulcan like

The human side of him is what makes him defend his emotionality (non-emotionality?) with such fervor. Motherfucker is so stubborn and so prideful, so Vulcan, but distinctly human.

To assure Spock “aw it’s okay buddy don’t be embarrassed it happens to everyone!” would be a triple knife; acting like he doesn’t know that the facts of life are neutral, unavoidable, and imminent. Acknowledging that he is embarrassed which is so non-Vulcan. AND telling him how being embarrassed especially about this particular instance is extra illogical.

Kirk gets all that, he knows Spock gets all that, and he sees him for who he really is, not the human side or the Vulcan side, just Spock. So, he gives him a very specific brand of mercy, “None of this ever happened, I saw nothing. But now I at least know enough to help you.”

(If we want to take this further I could also remind you of the Edith Keeler conversation when Kirk basically tells her that “let me help” means more than “I love you”.)

I just love this moment so much and I love them.

[kaisaerinlover]

michael kaiser

married life

tw: toxic relationship, abusive

you and your (not so) beloved michael kaiser finally decided to tie the knot. well, he decided, and you obliged. because what else are you supposed to do? you wouldn’t ever betray him, everything he wants is what you want too. he has you so well trained, doesn’t he? you went along with it because of how docile you are, how you’re basically putty in his hands. but you also had your own selfish reasoning, but you aren’t ready to admit that to yourself yet. no, you hoped that if you became his wife, maybe, just maybe, the tenderness he sometimes showed would be more common, the nosebleeds he bestowed upon you with his cruel fists would subside, the gentle nature he has somewhere inside of him would come out more often.

unfortunately for you, that’s not how michael kaiser works. and i think you know that too, don’t you? so why do you keep up the hope? you’re a true masochist, and he’s a true sadist. a very dangerous pair. dangerous for you, the one who subjects yourself to kaiser’s brutality willingly (it seems that way these days).

don’t get him wrong, kaiser yearns for love, yearns to be loved, yearns for you to keep on loving him ‘till the very end. and he knows you will, because you don’t have any other choice. michael kaiser is truly a master of his craft, a skilled manipulator and a very intelligent man. and now that you’re his wife, things really became a whole lot easier for him. he knows he has it drilled into your pretty little head that the only thing good for you in this world is him. him, him, him, him, him. pleasing him. loving him. being with him. being so sweet to him after he’s so mean to you.

he loves you and you love him. so why does the love he feels for his cute wife manifest in the most atrocious of ways? you know, he’s always making dumb excuses for why he’s this way. he thought if he was loved he would stop, then he thought if he got a girlfriend he would stop, then he thought that if he married you he would be able to stop too. he’s ran out of excuses now. he’s fucked up, all that psychology he’s polished up on throughout his life, all those books on human traumas and emotions, they should have made him realise what he really needs is the drive to change and a therapist a million times better than the average one. but he’s a little ignorant too, in that sense. or he was, he realises it sometimes, but he ignores it.

and besides, he’s not exactly one to complain about the arrangement you guys have. especially after marriage. you became so much more perfect, he didn’t even know it was possible. you’re the perfect, doting little housewife. and you’re all for him too, so cute, so docile. you like it too, but kaiser made you. you’re a little too stupid, a little too trusting and a lot too in love with kaiser to realise it. if you were just a little bit more intelligent than the girl he first met, he’s sure you would have realised something was seriously up by now. but it’s fine, ‘cause wits were never your strong point, nope, your sweet obedient nature was. and kaiser likes that.

you’re a great housewife. and he’s a great husband, you think. you’re in the kitchen, cleaning up, wearing a sweet little outfit kaiser bought for you. he’s so generous, he doesn’t have to spend money on you, yet he does. isn’t he just the best? so expensive too, he spends his hard earned money on you? isn’t your husband seriously just the best? you’re dressed in a cute vintage style dress, hair tied up into a cute ribbon and a cute pair of slippers and socks to go with it. haha, you don’t even realise it, but you’re playing right into kaiser’s weird fantasy. he always had a thing for housewives, everything. so now he has you dressed as one cleaning the kitchen whilst he’s hard at work. maybe he’s so obsessed with this dynamic because he never had it himself, his mother packed up and left as soon as he was born, of course. and his dad was an abusive sack of shit. fucking bitches. pieces of shit. ah, he’s getting worked up. he shakes off that feeling.

today, he tried to release as much of that pent up rage into the match. and he won, as always. he’s the emperor of the world. he wanted to get out all of his anger, because what he wants more than anything today is to be a normal couple with you. but that’s not going to happen, it never does.

he walks in, “where is mein engel, hm?” he stands waiting at the door, waiting for you to come greet him like you always do. after getting married you established this new routine. and you do come, you come so quickly to him and stand on your tip toes to kiss his cheek oh so lightly. “micha, i missed you sooo much” you bat your eyelashes at him. he has you trained so well, it’s impressive. you’re like some cute puppy, you’re actually incredibly well trained. he thinks he should indulge in this idea some time, he just likes any scenario where you’re completely submitting to him. but he shakes that thought off, he won’t get distracted for too long.

he wraps his arm around your waist and walks you to the couch, where he sits down and you stand in front of him, between his legs, looking down at him so innocently. you’re confused, maybe you’re not as well trained as he thought, because you sure don’t know what he wants right now. maybe a glass of wine? you go over to the wine cabinet and pull out a glass and pour in some wine.

kaiser is waiting impatiently, he trained you properly, didn’t he? so why the fuck aren’t you going along with what he wants. god, it’s pissing him off. he sees you walk away, ah, maybe you’re finally going to cook dinner as he wants. he picks up the tv remote and turns it to the bltv channel, today will be perfect, he’s going to simply sit with you, watch some soccer and then eat some nice homemad-

and there you are, standing in front of him looking oh so innocent holding out a glass of wine to him. are you fucking serious? you’re kidding right? you’re definitely doing this on purpose, don’t look so innocent. you’re just trying to piss him off, aren’t you? you fucking bitch. “what is this?” he asks you. he’s angry, but he’s being eerily calm. “wine, i thought you wanted a glass?” are you being dumb on purpose? no, you definitely did this to anger him, didn’t you? ah, he’s so mad now. “and why would i want a glass of wine, after such a long day of playing. wouldn’t i want a meal, hm? dumb girl” he patronises you. and you feel so small. “

but you do something unprecedented, something you haven’t ever done before… you have a… reply? you actually talk back? “y-yeah but how can i know what you want-“ enough. he’s even angrier now. why the fuck are you talking back to him instead of bowing and doing what he told you to do. you retarded whore. what the fuck? all that calmness is gone, he’s gritting his teeth.

poor you, you thought you could reason with him before he got mad, he seemed so calm. stupid, naïve you. you thought he wasn’t mad and now you’ll pay the price.

he knocks the glass out of your hand, the glass shatters everywhere, cutting your hand slightly. the wine pours on you, staining you red. and if that wasn’t bad enough, his fist hits you square in the nose. the pain doesn’t even register until you feel the first drops of blood, and then see them on that cute dress kaiser bought for you just days before. he’s towering above you, staring you down. you messed up, didn’t you? “you don’t talk back to me. ever. i didn’t teach you that. next time, keep your pretty mouth shut. you fucking bitch. did you forget your manners? that’s not how a girl like you should be acting. should i just find a new girl, hm?” he’s holding your throat with his tattooed hand. find a new girl????? no, don’t do that micha!!!! don’t do that to you, you didn’t mean to. but now you’re even doubting that, you definitely meant to. you just didn’t realise it. or something like that… it’s your fault.

he slightly releases the hold on your neck to let you talk, you have a chance to make things up with your words. a very slim chance. because he probably won’t care about what you have to say, whether it’s an apology or not. but he’s letting you talk, so use the opportunity before you get a black eye next too. “i-i’m sorry. i’m really incompetent” you don’t even make any attempt to grab his hands off of your throat, or even wipe up the blood streaming down your pretty lips. “i’ll not mess up again micha, i promise.”

your blood is covering part of his tattoo now too, he notices it and withdraws his hand, and laps up the blood. he always had an affinity for your blood, you taste so sweet. he likes tasting the hurt he’s caused you. it’s fulfilling, this is how he likes living. he loves hurting you, he doesn’t like admitting it often though, ironic for a monster like him. for some reason, that anger subsides. he’s not as mad anymore. maybe he’s going to apologise to you? you’re actually kind of hopeful for that, the small, rational part of you that knows it wasn’t your fault. but that part perishes as quickly as it was lit up. he ruffles your hair with his other hand and wipes the rest of the blood his tongue couldn’t quite clear up onto your rosy cheek. “it’s fine, don’t mess up again, ‘kay? i was nice this time, wasn’t i? you’ve had worse from me before. don’t take my mercy for granted, prinzessin.”

you’re so lucky for getting that mercy, thanks kaiser, isn’t he just so nice? you don’t even know how he managed to forgive you for such a horrible mistake. you’re a shitty wife, thank god your husband is so nice. and, ah, that dress, the one kaiser generously bought for you, it’s all ruined. all stained in the wine and blood. you ruined the dress with your incompetence. you messed everything up, god, why did he even marry you? you’re so stupid, and good for nothing.

he can tell what you’re thinking, he feels a little bad, but he’d rather you beat yourself up over it than him. it’s easier that way anyway. he pats your head again. “poor little thing, all bloodied up because of her own stupidity.” he chastises, and you look down in shame. he’s right, you’re so stupid. “let’s go get you cleaned up, little häschen.” and he does, he leads you to the bathroom sink, sits you on the side, and cleans the blood from you. he almost flinches at the newformed bend in your nose, and the bruise which just seems to be getting darker and changing between shades of nasty blues and purples every second. yikes, he forgets how delicate you are compared to him sometimes.

all you can think about is how generous he is, he hasn’t even changed out of his jersey yet. that’s how nice he is. and he’s bandaging you up too, a cute bandage to hide that hideous bruise. he wants to hide your mistake for you? that’s even sweeter, he doesn’t want you to look in the mirror and feel bad for it, right? that’s what he’s doing right? your husband really is the best.

and that night, you make up for your mistake. you serve him his favourite bread crust rusk, and a nice glass of water. get him changed into his robe. tie up his hair. give him blue-red glasses so he doesn’t hurt his eyes. you pamper him, ‘cause that’s what he deserves. you pamper him whilst ignoring that banging headache from the brutal assault on your nose. and the bruise on your neck. and arms. and legs. all from past outbursts of his. you tend to him and treat him like a king even though you’re so injured, but you’re too brainwashed by your husband, too eager to be the perfect housewife so he doesn’t leave you, and you end up ignoring all of this.

kaiser knows what you’re thinking, predictable little thing. he thinks you’re real stupid. he’s the one that should be scared of you leaving, he couldn’t ever find anyone better than you, anyone more willing. you’re perfect. but he won’t tell you that. he won’t give you an ego. keep being scared of being left alone, so that every second you spend with him you’re even more grateful. he’s scared too, but he’s confident most of the time you’re going to stay. he feels a little guilty for everything right now, ah, it’s one of those times. the weight of his actions presses heavy on him, but instead of taking it out on you again, he just pulls you next to him, opens his robe and drapes one side over you, feeds you a spoonful of your home cooked rusk and pinches your cheek affectionately.

“good girl, schatzi. so good. i love you. du gehörst für immer mir.�� he nibbles at your ear a little.

and you just sit and blush. “i-i love you t-too micha, ‘s much.”

you’re the luckiest wife in the world, thank gosh your husband is so willing to put up with your incompetence and stupidity. being a wife is so great. you lean your head against his shoulder, and whilst you’re being so tender with each other, you can forget about all your physical pains caused by him, and he can forget about all of the things weighing and stabbing at his mind at all times, caused by everyone. you’re truly his safe place. a real angel sent from heaven.

“engelchen.”

[oxygenbefore1775]

aot characters as types of poisons pt2

pt1 here!

➼ featuring: armin, eren, hange, historia, jean, levi, mikasa,

➼ cw: poisons and all the ways they could (and would) kill

➼ a/n: as a pharmacy student i also have to study toxicology for some reason so what better way to apply my knowedge than to use it for some hcs - also pls don't get any ideas from this, it's all morbid yet harmless fun

also this is gonna be a bit different from the original hcs cuz this time i will actually try to explain why a certain poison fits a certain character

 ꒰‧₊˚⌬☆༉‧₊˚ . ˚₊‧༉☆⌬˚₊‧꒰

armin

coniine of hemlock

like husband like wife since coniine kills the same way Annie's poison (strychnine) does - through paralysis of respiratory muscles (ie you suffocate with airways being completely free and being perfectly aware of you dying)

albeit coniine is more insidious in its approach to killing

first of all because hemlock, the main depository of coniine, is easily confused with other non-toxic edible and thus frequently (and unknowingly) consumed

secondly, coniine poisoning is easily to induce since it's used in medicine as a sedative and it takes very little for a healing dose to turn into a deadly one

thirdly, even with poisoning in full swing, it's hardly ever painful - in a narcotic-like state one simply falls asleep as paralysis gradually creeps up from the feet upwards, eventually reaching lungs and stopping breathing all-together

that being said, coniine is a quiet yet potent strength (like Armin with his oftentimes underestimated influence)

eren

cyanide

symbolically enough, the majority of cyanide vapors (which is the most common exposure method) occurs in the fires - destruction born from destruction

as lethal as it is notorious (like Eren) with death occuring in mere minutes after exposure

yet quick death doesn't bear any promise of painlessness - cyanide makes the last minutes of life an unbearable agony

this is mostly because cyanide fucks the body and its systems up in the most fundamental way possibly, binding all the incoming oxygen to itself and thus leaving the organism with inability to breathe on a chemical level (which reminds me a lot of Eren willing to take anyone's freedom should they choose to take his)

also there's a popular misconception that glucose is one of the antidotes against cyanide which would be very cute if true - the deadliest of poisons rendered harmless with a mere sweetness of sugar but alas

to me, cyanide perfectly captures Eren's ability to single-handedly destabilize whole systems, be they political, social or moral. just as cyanide cuts off oxygen, so does Eren with disrupting established orders, often suffocating any chance at peace and stability in pursuit of his ideals

historia

atropine of belladonna

never beating its deadly woman under the facade of prettiness allegations

humanity went through a whole arc with atropine from treating it as a beauty-enhancing product at first to later acknowledging its potency and medicinal as well deathly properties (like with Historia role in the plot)

also the sight of belladonna (where atropine is mostly found) lulls into a falls sense of security with the deceiving luster and sweetness of its berries, as if tempting you to taste it

funnily enough, one of the most prominent symptoms of atropine intoxication is quick heart rate, blown-out pupils as well as inhibition of sweating and salivating - which is no doubt a similar effect that the mere presence of Krista used to have on her fellow students in Cadet Corps (with her monicker being goddess and all)

although slow and improbable in its lethality, the effects of an acute atropine poisoning are certainly the least boring — take for example a 3-day-long delirium and all the hallucinations that come with it. And at the end it just might leave you with memory loss and other cognitive problems (not to forget all the memory losses Historia had at Frieda's behest)

atropine is a rare case of poison being used to combat other poisons (much like Historia and whatever she had going on with Eren and Ymir despite being quite morally challenged herself)

jean

helenalin of arnica

first thing first, this poison is a lover not a fighter (just like Jean)

it barely constitutes a deadly poison as it takes a lot of helenalin for a dangerous dose, let alone a lethal one - it won't kill you even if it tries

still, it is considered toxic through its irritating effect - when administered either internally or externally, it deals a minor damage to the tissue (idk it just reminds me of the way Jean was always causing tensions with his antics in cadet corps, harmless but still annoying in its own way)

frankly, it's more renown for its healing than harming properties

its most popular use is in relieving pain, swelling and bruises - alleviating nearly every kind of damage one might suffer, helenalin soothes it all

Jean is helenalin in every way - yes, it will help to recover from any damage but it's gonna sting like a bitch all throughout the healing process

hange

ergot

this one's unusual (like Hange) since it's a fungal poison and was a common scourge upon all the medieval populus

is a mother of LSD, all the things hallucinogenic

yet before its recreational properties could be harnessed, ergot was notorious for its profound and unpredictable effects on an organism

ergot fungus affects grain products like rye so if an outbreak of it occurs, large quantities of population are in for a lethal drug-trip

yet before death from violent convulsions, an unfortunate's mind is severely affected with a state of mania and madness (which is very evocative of Hange's intense approach to titan study)

ergot poisoning is also monickered as holy fire which is due to the gangrenous state it induces, with limbs inflamed and turning black as if they've been burned and charred in flames (which reminds me... of nothing in particular)

levi

arsenic

the most common way of exposure is through the contaminated ground waters, especially in places unfortunate enough to lack any precautions that can detect presence of arsenic

arsenic has neither taste nor smell so it's stealthy and precise in taking out lives - gradual and subtle

this poison's committed - once it starts to take effect, arsenic poisoning is hard to reverse

funnily enough, arsenic used to be added to cosmetic products as it prevented skin aging and made the user look younger that their years

although the most potent entry way is through inhaling arsenic vapors, the other ways are still as deadly as they can get - this is why arsenic is used in almost all of industrial "killing" -cides (pesticides, herbicides, insecticides etc)

despite its very much lethal properties, arsenic still finds its use in cancer treatment - per numerous studies, arsenic particles harm less healthy cells than other anti-cancer drugs

in essence, arsenic suits Levi as it's predominantly cloaked in its reputation of deadly precision, meanwhile its benefits are lesser known

mikasa

aconitine of wolf's bane

a warrior's type of poison, commonly applied on arrows and tips of javelins

the plant takes its name from its use against wolves or other predators that could pose threat to livestock and humans

in case of acute exposure which is relatively easy to get, death occurs in a matter of hours and is incredibly painful in the process as it causes extreme burning and numbing pain - the poison kills through either stopping heartbeat or breathing

it's usually quite difficult to get poisoning through skin contact but not in case with aconitine - it's so toxic that even touching wolf's bane flowers causes numbing sensation in finger tips

also like arsenic, aconitine has its uses in medicine through its pain-relieving effect even though the dosage is to be kept extremely low since even a single mg of the stuff can result in death

the main reason for me choosing aconitine as Mikasa's poison is mainly due to its application - it was almost always used as a means of protection against dangerous predators

[ardentpoop]

okay the 8.21 sam monologue, but with john 'save him or kill him' winchester on the receiving end. thoughts?

you mean instead of dean “silently smolder” winchester on the receiving end? 💀

no but speaking of john’s Save Or Kill directive I like to emphasize to people how quickly the narrative (and samndean and the audience) glosses over the “save” part of the equation; they fold “save” into “kill” because crucially that’s what dean does in s4 when the levee breaks (and really the conflation starts even as early as s2 playthings). it sets the standard for samndean’s relationship and their respective roles in it for the rest of the series. which to be clear does not make Save Or Kill any less fucked up of a task for john to hand down to dean in the first place, especially in lieu of informing sam abt his own “destiny”/his connection to azazel. however it does beg the question: what would s4-5 have looked like if john were still alive? would we even have gotten to that point if dean hadn’t felt the need to sell his soul “for sam” like john sold his soul “for dean”? I mean we could unravel that chain all day lmfao. feels pointless until you remember that most of the audience is not exploring the framing of the onscreen events at all; it’s why many people are resistant to comparing john and dean on even a surface level despite their mirrored roles - XYZ action is automatically evil when john does it (usually more for its effect on dean than its effect on sam, whose perspective is generally granted less weight) and automatically justified and righteous when dean does it.

back to your question. idk that john would have responded any better than dean did to sam’s “I’m not clean” - dean’s sole response if you’ll recall being “sam, it’s not your fault” as opposed to anything approaching “you are not unclean.” the Us And Them worldview (humans/american soldiers inherently good, monsters/Others bad and dirty) the boys are operating under was laboriously instilled in them by dear old dad after all. the scene is beautifully horrible enough with these implications in mind and it’s even worse if you’re focusing on the usual sexual assault implications. it’s not your fault you’re unclean because you were violated as a kid. I DO think that john’s eyes would’ve been wet <3 listening to this tale of his darling little baby sammy reading a comic book dean used to read to him when he was young enough that he shouldn’t have been forming memories yet, and aching to go on a heroic quest but knowing deep down inside that that wasn’t what the world had in store for him. like I think the only difference btwn how dean reacted and how john might have reacted is that john’s voice might have cracked around “it’s not your fault.”