#and yes this was inspired by negotiations in game

[doodlesdreaming]

With fabulous hair like that, he might as well be.

Alt version

[littlemarianah]

inspired by >this< post from @mellarked-katnisseverdeen

Her father just knows that something is happening.

The way the boy looks at the girl while he is negotiating the price of game meat with the baker. Always pretending like he's doing something else, just to look at her more closely.

Or how Katniss take off the cap and redo her braid every time on they are in thw way to the bakery.

He just knows very well what is happening there, remembers his romance with a merchant girl years ago.

Then, thinking that the boy is intimidated by seeing Katniss always accompanied by her father, he starts sending her alone to sell the squirrels. Then ask "how was on there"

"normal..." Katniss replies with a shrug, without understanding the reason for the question.

And he gives a small smile, which leaves Katniss even more confused. The truth is that that old hunter realizes much earlier than she does that the boy has a crush on his daughter.

And he takes immense pleasure in seeing her slowly realize it too. Watching the two go from acquaintances to friends, and slowly, to lovers.

It's funny because Peeta, that boy raised with good manners, makes a point of talking to Katniss' father after she agrees to date him.

"I'm Peeta Mellark, sir." he says, with a firm voice and a strong handshake. Well, he doesn't really know what he's doing. He's only 17 and she is his first girlfriend, but he's trying to do it right. He doesn't want to ruin everything.

"Oh, yes. Katniss's boyfriend, Am I right?" he says with a wide smile.

"Oh, stop treating me like I'm not here" Katniss crosses her arm in embarrassment. "I feel like a goat for sale in the market"

She prefers it when everything is more relaxed, for example when Peeta comes to dinner with them on a Sunday.

He sits at the Everdeens' table and watches everyone share a bowl of rabbit stew. It's not much, but Katniss's father offered little to Peeta as well. Peeta is so grateful.

It's his first time with a "real family". With love, with communion, with laughter at dinner time.

So he is always invited again, every Sunday. Peeta brings bread and cakes to share too. Brings sweets that Prim always wanted to try, brings yeast that Mrs. Everdeen needs for some medicines, brings cheese buns for Katniss. This causes him some ear tugging and pinching from his mother, but he doesn't even care anymore.

Because every end of the night Katniss' father picks up the guitar and teaches Peeta some old songs. It's funny because he's a terrible and out of tune singer, especially compared to the Everdeens. It makes Katniss and Prim laugh, but Peeta could never feel happier.

Because everyone makes such a great effort to make him feel at home. It's no surprise when Katniss and Peeta get married they move near her family.

It's satisfying for Katniss's father to see Peeta stop calling him 'Sir' and refer to him as a friend, because that's what they become.

[sorceresssundries]

Oh, What A Circus!

Pairing: Gale x gn Tav - SFW

Word Count: 900

Summary: The spawn of the God of murder and their Wizard boyfriend have a day out at the circus!

A/N: I've been writing a lot of smut/romance/angst and wanted to try my hand at something a little more light-hearted.

I hope you enjoy it!

“You look ridiculous.” Gale muttered with his arms folded.

Tav stood in front of the unimpressed wizard, towering above him at almost seven feet of rippling muscle, with eyes as red as bloodstone and tattoos that looked like carved, ancient curses. They were a trained, hulking barbarian whose blood-drenched origin had, until recently, been lost to tampered memory. They were the flesh of Bhaal himself, spawn of the God of Murder, flayer of innocents, and inspirer of savagery. Condemned to forever be whipped and tormented by the whispered urges that pulsed through their blood and haunted their dreams.

They glared at Gale from beneath their freshly applied clown face paint and waved their candyfloss at him. 

“You look ridiculous!” Tav snapped back. “We’re at a circus and you look like someone has pissed in your porridge.”

Their tiff was punctuated by squeals and laughter of children, and Karlach, revelling in the nearby circus games. Even Astarion seemed to be enjoying himself, hurling particularly cutting insults at a mime. It was hard to tell whether the mime was exceptionally talented at their craft or if Astarion had actually driven them into a silent breakdown.

Tav turned towards the merchant with whom Gale had been conversing. The small mephit, previously engaged in lighthearted banter, was now cowering in the shadow of the clown-faced elf.

“You buying something?” Tav asked Gale with a mouth full of candyfloss.

“Well!” Gale raised his finger and Tav mentally prepared themselves for an unnecessarily long explanation “This fine fellow here”, he gestured towards the now trembling mephit, “And his delightful wife are exceptionally talented artists and dealers of the finest, bespoke sculptures in all Faerûn! Isn’t that right, my friend?”

“Erm, yes absolutely.” replied the mephit, still not taking their eyes off Tav, “I was just explaining to your….”

“Boyfriend.” cut in Tav.

“Oh…right…” The mephit’s eyes flicked between the two adventurers, as though the pairing of the wizard and the barbarian was completely ridiculous. The tiny mephit looked over to his huge, hulking, earth elemental of a wife in disbelief. “For a reasonable fee, we can provide you with a completely bespoke creation in whomever's likeness you desire!”

“I was thinking…” Said Gale, who thought a bit too much for Tav sometimes, “We have enough coin to make a considered purchase, perhaps it would be a kind gesture to gift a statue to our brave, vampiric friend?” 

Tav glanced over to Astarion who was now in hysterics at the mime having to be comforted by some of the other circus performers.

“Right...”

“He has, after all, been through a tremendous amount of suffering, and throughout his decades of torture and islolation, has forgotten what he looks like.” Gale looked genuinely downcast at the thought of his friend’s ongoing trauma. “How poetic would it be, to gift him with a statue of himself. As pale and marbled as his own alabaster skin - complete with a face he will be able to gaze upon in place of the cruel void of an empty mirror.” 

“Yeah, sure.” Said Tav who had only been half listening. “I love poetry.”

“Excellent!” Gale clapped his hands together, evidently proud of himself for his empathetic use of wisdom “I’ll leave the coin with you, you are after all, a much more skilled negotiator than I!” He raised himself on his tiptoes and quickly pecked a kiss on the tip of Tav’s clown-red nose, before heading in the direction of an unimpressed looking Djinn. 

Tav waited until he was out of earshot before turning back to the merchant. “So, you’ll make me a statue.. Of whatever I want?”

“Of course!”

“Perfect.” Grinned Tav, in what they hoped was a friendly expression. In reality, their stretched, clown-painted smile was more intimidating than if they had offered their most murderous scowl. As such, they unintentionally managed to get a hefty discount and priority delivery as part of the deal. 

Tav handed over the coin, finished their candyfloss, and went over to join in the mime-baiting with Astarion. They were having an excellent day.

“TAV!” Gale’s voice was sharp with anger as it bounced off the walls of their quarters in the Elfsong Tavern.

“Yep!” said Tav, bounding over to where he was standing, where a delivery had just arrived.

“What in the hells is this?” Gale hissed.

“Oh great! It's here! They weren’t kidding when they said it would be quick” Tav’s eyes were wide with artistic appreciation. The statue was beautiful, crafted with such delicate intricacy it looked as though it was draped from silk rather than carved from rock. Tav could hardly believe that something sculpted from the unforgiving, stubborn hardness of marble could appear so soft. Looking at it, glowing in the gentle candlelight, they felt they could finally understand the deep, personal connection and enrichment of artistic skill and mortal interpretation. 

“Why is it of me?!”

“Oh, right.” Tav had forgotten they had completely ignored Gale's original plan. “Erm, I guess there must have been a mix-up” 

“Why is it nude?!!”

Tav grinned at him, delighting in the furious way his brow furrowed and lines of his face deepened. 

“All the most famous statues are, right?” Tav sighed in adoration as they looked back at the statue. “I like it.”

“Is that an accurate representation of the wizard’s penis?” Asked Lae’zel who had quietly appeared between them and made Gale jump. 

“Abso-fucking-lutely” Tav said with a grin, taking in Lae’zel’s impressed expression. “I love the circus.”

[xoxo-ren-xoxo]

fic writer interview!

totally stealing this from @definitelynotshouting because it looks really fun and I haven't had a chance to yap about my own work in a while!

---<0>---

How many works do you have on AO3?

32! used to be more but I totally deleted some of my old Umbrella Academy fics, sadly - could be around 35 or 36 if I hadn't.

What's your total AO3 word count?

334,360... uh, most of that is from two specific fics haha.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

You Say You Feel Hollow (and you know it's 'cause you are) (HC/Life Series | 775)

INCOMING MESSAGE - COMM RECORDS (HC | 725)

“Man is condemned to be free” (DreamSMP | 547)

I Still Feel Alive (when it's hopeless, I start to notice) (Lunch Club | 488)

Let's Call It An Arrangement (HC | 460)

if you remember my lunch club fics no you don't. also kinda surprised to see the range of fics here - some of my older stuff and then some of my newest too!

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

yes! the only time I maybe won't is when it's a second or third comment in a thread and I have nothing else to say. even a '<3' comment will get a response. I don't get many comments, so I take the time to respond to them all. also, I share details about the writing process and lore of fics if people ask. so 🔫😐 comment to get secret knowledge. (in the same vein, I always respond to asks here about my fics!)

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

oh, man... I don't tend to leave fics on completely horrific endings in any case, but I would say probably my boatem pirate fic, It's All Part of Being a Pirate (HC). definitely the fic with the least ambiguously horrible fate for just everyone involved.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

uh... it depends on your idea of 'happy', honestly. Trembling Jaws Can't Stop Stuttering (HC) is a gore/cannibalism convexian fic that doubles as polyamory negotiations. a lot of people say they feel quite comforted by it despite the violence, especially because of the hopeful ending, so I suppose that qualifies as happy. on the other hand, my alternate canon fic, “Man is condemned to be free” (DreamSMP) is ultimately hurt/comfort with a happy(ish) ending, but you have to get through a lot of literal torture and pain first. so... not exactly 'happy'.

Do you write crossovers?

no, but I do come up with ideas for them quite frequently. I'm just not really compelled to actually write them. my favourite universe to put my blorbos into at any given time is the hunger games. I also do get inspired by other media when coming up with my original ideas - there are definitely hints of shows and films I've watched in some of my fics.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

not traditionally, but since I write a lot of gore and cannibalism that is quite graphic (and I do properly tag it of course) sometimes I get people commenting that they weren't expecting such graphic violence, or that it disturbed them. which... idk man, read the tags? it doesn't really bother me to get those comments, I usually just remind them that I did tag it all and they chose to click, but I hope they enjoyed regardless.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

my insane AU *ideas* definitely have way more smut in them than my regular fics (which have none). alas, most of those ideas are sealed away in the DMs of my most trusted confidant (you know who you are) and I am way too asexual to actually write it seriously. those ideas also feature more noncon, dubcon, and general abuse trauma than I would be comfortable sharing on my actual account. they are mostly very cathartic ideas that wouldn't get developed into full fics. I do, however, have a post detailing my headcanons for convexian as a trio on the asexual-autistic-cannibalism spectrum. and yes, those three things are inherently linked. that post and the fics that go with it are as explicit as my works get, really. sometimes I will hint at sex / make innuendos in one-off lines, though.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

nope. I've had a few tumblr posts reposted on instagram, but to my knowledge nothing of mine has been outright stolen... sometimes I see people using very similar plots or styles to mine (particularly in the homoerotic cannibalism genre) and go 'haha it would be funny if they were inspired by my fic' but I'm not popular or egotistical enough to be mad about that.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope. that would be cool, but I'm in pretty english-centric fandoms right now. my aunt had one of her fics translated into five different languages, so I have a lot to live up to!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

nope, but sometimes I will get ideas from other people or they will get ideas from me. @angeart and I have co-written our Ari AU (HC), but that is more of a detailed summary than a fic. also go read it.

What's your all-time favorite ship?

I mean come on. did you think it wasn't going to be scarian? (but grumbo, convex, and all combinations of those four freaks, are also up there)

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

basically all of them. Kingdoms AU (HC) will haunt me forever though.

What are your writing strengths?

like others before me I'm just basing this on the comments I get - I am apparently very good at getting character voices right (which is something I do try particularly hard to do, but I honestly think sometimes I get it all wrong). one of my other strong points is writing both abstractly and very literally, especially with gore. I like weaving together metaphors and similes with more blunt descriptions of the physical senses. it seems to work.

What are your writing weaknesses?

oh baby I am terrible with action scenes. pure action really stumps me, and it's what I struggle with most in my professional writing too. that and consistent characterisation (I think in fic maybe it's a bit less of an issue, people don't *really* care if a character is slightly inconsistent, but I bug myself with it... 'he would NOT say that' is my internal motto) also sometimes I dive way too deep into the internal world and forget about the external - especially when a character has to do something simple like walk down the stairs or some other quite mundane action. then everything becomes quite confusing and loaded in too much metaphor and weirdness, something I noticed the most when re-reading the first chapter of Kingdoms AU.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I did it once. badly. I'm monolingual and stupid and my opinion on this is just sort of 'do whatever makes the story flow the best'.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

hamilton. i think. but I had ideas for my little pony and team crafted beforehand that I never wrote because i was, like, 10.

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

honestly just wanna write more solo grub (grian x cub). hashtag grub violence.

What's your favorite fic you've written?

one of my least popular fics, and second most recent. Who can really tell? (Life Series) is one of the works that feels the most polished and creatively challenging. perhaps I love it so much because it's unpopular, but I genuinely think my characterisation of listener!bigb was some of my best. it remains amusing to me that its sister fic is my most popular fic by kudos. if you're reading this, perhaps go give it a chance ? 🥺 I also have a huge soft spot for COMMS AU (HC), of course. but it feels unfair to judge an unfinished fic against finished ones.

---<0>---

I don't usually tag people in these sorts of things, but if you wanna give it a go then definitely do! I totally stole the entire formatting and idea from shouting. I will tag @angeart a second time, but no pressure my partner in crime ;D

[themattress]

Untitled Kairi Post II

Kingdom Hearts II is Kairi's other good game. It's (sadly enough) where she peaked.

However, many fans were and still are disappointed in KH2 Kairi. Is that reasonable?

…..Yes and no.

I feel that Kairi’s role in Nomura’s base story for KH2 is really good, barring one factor. She starts remembering Sora and even makes contact with his heart via Roxas which causes her to send her poem out to sea, she befriends Pluto and goes through a Dark Corridor to Twilight Town where she befriends Hayner, Pence and Olette, she gets kidnapped by Organization XIII and held captive in the Castle That Never Was, is rescued by Namine (the other half of herself) and reunites with Riku and in turn reunites him with Sora, is given a weapon and is able to fight as part of the heroic party, she saves Namine from fading through reassimilating her into her heart, and ultimately her poem inspiring pure feelings in Sora allows him to open the Door to Light and bring himself and Riku home after all hope seemed to be lost; he even is finally able to return her good luck charm to her as promised in KH1.

The one factor that needed to be altered was the kidnapping part. It still had to happen, but it preferably should have happened a good while after showcasing her stay in Twilight Town and fleshing out her character. The scene where she goes to Twilight Town should have happened much earlier, and we could constantly cut back to her after completing each world (maybe even have a playable moment or two with her). Do that and everything’s perfect.

However, not only was this factor not altered, but three glaring problems also transpired.

First of all, notice a pattern in all of Kairi’s major scenes?

WE GET IT. Kairi really, really likes Sora; she’s his love interest. That was a huge part of her character in KH1, but there (as I just got done analyzing) Kairi still had a backstory and feelings on matters that were unrelated to Sora and an inner life and an actual character arc that progressed from beginning to end…all of this despite Sora being the one whom she primarily interacted with! And it’s terrible that KH2 isn’t affording her the same treatment when at the same time it gives her so many other characters to interact with like Selphie, Pluto, Hayner, Pence, Olette, Namine, King Mickey, Axel and Saix. The best she gets is with Riku:

Secondly, she gets a weapon. Did it have to be a Keyblade, and did that Keyblade have to be so flowery? No, but whatever. It’s a weapon, and she can fight with it. She says so herself!

She does so against a horde of Heartless - in a cutscene. Where we only see her take out two enemies and then the remainder of the fight largely happens offscreen. Afterwards, we never see the goddamn thing again! Not even when it clearly is supposed to be there:

Come ON! We needed way more than that! And hey, game developers, couldn’t you have given Kairi a non-party battle AI? You gave one for Axel who wasn’t even supposed to make it that far into the story; so why not Kairi? It makes this whole pay-off underwhelming to many.

Third and finally, what is she doing when not fighting or having a scene centered around how much she cares for Sora? Mainly just idly standing in the back row of the party and saying “Sora!”, “Riku!”, or both. Now, this point isn’t quite as bad as the others since this is shared with Donald and Goofy rather than be exclusive to her, and the game also has several screens where you can talk to Kairi and she has text boxes with dialogue that actually showcases more of her personality beyond just being Sora’s love interest. She reminds you of her knowledge of nautical superstitions, is perceptive enough to recognize the Proof of Existence chamber as a graveyard, says she doesn’t like being left out of adventuring, says that she wants to get more skilled as Sora and Riku in combat so that they get hurt less, and outright puts her foot down and tells Sora in non-negotiable terms that from now on where he goes she goes too (please ignore Nomura totally ruining this in the games past KH2, ‘kay?)

So, that’s why people are often hard on KH2 Kairi. BUT I still say that she still deserves credit for the things done right with her, namely the important plot-relevant actions she undertakes, the fact that she gets to forge connections with so many other characters at all, the fact that she even has a weapon and gets to fight competently with it, those aforementioned text boxes, and her still getting some measure of character development through learning that “waiting isn’t good enough” (again, ignore Nomura’s post-KH2 fuckery!) Plus - her attitude!

And this leads me to my final point, which is….

Kairi in the Kingdom Hearts II manga doesn’t get kidnapped until after quite a while spent in Twilight Town and even receives a focus chapter while being held captive, her relationships with other characters are fleshed out beyond her just talking about Sora with them, she has much more impressive showcasing of her combat skills and is even outright acknowledged as possibly a fiercer fighter than Sora and Riku, she displays her character the whole way through and not just in optionally viewable text boxes, and on top of all this her facial expression are always on point, which isn’t even something that can be said of other characters in the manga! She’s got all of the game upsides, and none of the downsides.

[eepyuii]

frostbite — pt. 8

pairing ; childe x gender neutral! reader

content ; childhood friends to “rivals” to lovers, slowburn-ish

cw ; none

notes ; listen guys. i can explain. rly tho, i’ve been horribly busy with school stuff and for a long time i wasn’t rly inspired to write but i got SOME free time now and managed to finish this bad boy up!

sadly, kind of a boring chapter imo, just a LOT of continuing childe’s story quest. i’ve mentioned a bunch of times before how i hate writing by the quest dialogue and how tedious it is and i believe that’s partially why i couldn’t continue writing for a bit. anyway, i promise i’ll try to get the next chapter out sooner as next chapter WILL have some things i’m looking forward to writing LOL

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the bright high noon sun shines against the blades of grass in the hills of qingxu pool, making the greenery seem like shards of vibrant emerald. the very same sun, unfortunately, nearly causes you to melt right then and there- with impossible steep peaks to cross and a whole child in your arms to carry. teucer had fallen asleep in your arms somewhere along the trip and he still snores soundly as you round up to the location childe had referred to earlier and where you immediately spot him, as well as some other men.

“found him! there’s childe!” paimon exclaims as she floats on ahead, effectively waking up teucer at the mention. he tries to move around and gather in his surroundings within your hold, sleepy eyes adjusting to the light once more.

as you get closer to the group, you find that the men childe is speaking to are… treasure hoarders. and it certainly didn’t look like the friendliest of exchanges, some kind debt collecting that lunatic does. you hear half of a taunt coming from childe when you approach earshot.

“…i suppose i should forgive you country bumpkins for your ignorance, for i am-“

“brother!” teucer yells excitedly and the harbinger freezes in his tracks the next second.

“you’re selling them toys, aren’t you, brother? that’s so cool, i’ve always wanted to watch you work!”

childe stammers. “w-why yes, of course! for i am, uh…

…the greatest toy salesman in snezhnaya!”

oh, for the tsaritsa’s sake. this time, you truly cannot fight the involuntary reaction within your muscles to facepalm at his half-assed save, if you can even call it that. though, what makes it worse is when he raises his fists triumphantly, clapping as if there was nothing wrong with what he said.

“so cool!”

“…huh?” says one of the treasure hoarders.

“you playin’ games, pretty boy?” goes another and you snort at the nickname.

“so, will you buy, or not? the toys that snezhnaya produced three months ago will run you.. yes, six hundred thousand mora- to be paid in full.”

another treasure hoarder chokes on his breath. “t-toys..? a-and how much mora…?”

“wow, is that what it’s gonna cost to fix that head of yours?”

the three hoarders bark out in mocking laughter. childe doesn’t seem to be dissuaded in the slightest, in fact his eyes drop into a lethally serious glare.

“i’ll say it again- toys from snezhnaya. three months prior. six hundred thousand mora. paid in full.”

“yeah… no, sorry, salesboy. the same joke isn’t funny twice. or were you always cruisin’ for a bruisin’?”

the harbinger sighs. “alright then, i’ll make things a little easier for you- i’ll join the treasure hoarders. perhaps you’ll be more willing to pay when we’re brothers-in-arms?”

you frown, slightly skeptical of childe’s methods of negotiation. however, you know better than anyone that childe, for all that he seems, is not an idiot. he’s just as aware of the means as he is of the ends and he wouldn’t be making statements like those with such certainty for nothing.

“hah- would you listen t’yourself?! you think we just let any old person into the treasure hoarders? i’m not so sure you could hack it…”

“heh, well then, why don’t you put me to the test, dear seniors? i like to think of myself as quite talented in the field of treasure hunting.”

“hmm.. looks like you’re not gonna pack it up until someone packs you in. alright then, show us what you got.”

the leading treasure hoarder proceeds with the proposition of a challenge where childe would have to collect some loot on a nearby hill within a time limit set by them. while you could see the hill from where you were, it was impossibly far to reach on foot in such a short amount of time. a tinge of worry creeps into the back of your neck and you shoot childe a concerned look, which he receives like he’s perfectly understood your silent doubts.

in return, he only cheekily winks to you and takes off.

he expertly uses the powerful gusts of wind shooting nearby to cut the path toward the hill in short and before you can even think of keeping track of his movements, he’s back with a small chest in hand- nonchalantly brushing dust off his uniform.

“well, i have the goods, here you go. so how’d i do? pretty well, i’d say.” childe smirks.

one of the other treasure hoarders starts sweating and whispers worryingly over to his fellow bandit. the leader turns back to childe, somewhat containing his shock.

“please… hold on a moment, sir. we need to discuss something amongst ourselves.”

the three turn to a small circle, where they mutter back and forth to each other, unintelligibly to you. periodically, one of the hoarders throws childe a quick, fearful look to ensure that he’s not becoming impatient- lest something freakier than his show of inhuman speed happens. finally, the leader turns back.

“so, mister.. salesman. my apologies but we can’t have you joining us.”

“oh? i didn’t pass? i must say i never imagined that the treasure hoarders would have such strict entry requirements…” childe replies unimpressed.

“no, i-it’s not that- ..what we mean is you’re too big a fish for our little pond. but we fully understand the situation with the uh… toys, sir. we’ll fetch that six hundred thousand mora for you right away.”

you scoff, shaking your head incredulously at how… somehow childe managed to get his way with such a ridiculous front to impress his brother. teucer, on the other hand, could not be happier with the outcome.

“that’s my brother for you! toy sellers are so cool!”

some rustling of grass from behind you grabs your attention and you instinctively tense your shoulders, hand ready and reaching out towards teucer if you had to protect him from an unexpected ambush by the sour treasure hoarders. fortunately, the arriving individual turns out to be a familiar fatui employee, felix. he recognizes your presence with a curt bow-like gesture before directing himself towards the harbinger.

“ah, master childe, you’re here. a new batch of fresh recruits have just-“

“hey now, keep your voice down. can’t you see i’m entertaining some clients over here?”

“clients? well uh… the motherland has dispatched a new batch of recruits to liyue. they’ve just arrived and i’m afraid we must ask you to speak to them.”

“ugh, do i have to? now is hardly the best time…”

you decide to interject with a suggestion. “couldn’t signora give them the initiation? she’s also an acting superior here in liyue.”

felix shakes his head. “i’m afraid the fair lady has already returned to the palace to attend to other affairs.”

dammit, you really couldn’t keep track of that woman. both you and childe seem to simultaneously deflate slightly at the news, as if you’d both imagined at the same time how hard it’d be to keep teucer satisfied and ignorant towards the truth with so many predicaments.

“i truly must apologize for troubling you, master childe, but they are already waiting for you south of lingju pass. every new batch of recruits must be baptized by the tsaritsa’s will through the words of her harbingers. this has always been our rule.”

childe groans and rolls his eyes petulantly.

“well, alright then, i’ll go. just give me a moment to catch up with my brother and i’ll be right with you.”

“do you have to keep working?” teucer finally speaks up, with his saddened tone from earlier returning.

“yes teucer, we have a group of new toy sellers fresh from the motherland and i need to go teach them the ropes.”

“that’s great! when i grow up, i wanna be a toy seller too. can i go listen?”

you stammer to answer quickly. “ah- maybe not now, teuce’. you’re still a little too young for that, bud.”

childe nods in agreement. “besides, most of it is rather boring. why don’t you go play with y/n and the traveler instead? sound good?”

teucer shoots out the most impossibly heart wrenching combo of big eyes and a pout towards his brother. “b-but.. but…”

“i really do have to go, teucer. a lot of people are waiting to see me. i’ll see you around, alright?”

the boy sighs melancholically and for a moment you do understand his side of the situation, but again you’re reminded of the harsh reality of the fatui and how hard it must be, no- how hard it has been to keep such a young, adventurous kid oblivious to all of it. it truly has not been easy for childe for his little brother to show up so absurdly unannounced.

the traveler and paimon are a few feet away, whispering to each other while teucer still sulks, and you catch a bit of their conversation.

“to think he’d go this far just to prevent his family from seeing his… dark side.”

“i wonder how much longer he can hide it from teucer…” the traveler responds.

“paimon wonders too. but hey, let’s at least help him

out while we’re out in liyue…

wait- where’s teucer?”

panic shoots up your spine chillingly and you turn around to where he just was, to find nothing. the few seconds you’d kept your eye off him he disappears. you scan the grasslands for teucer almost involuntarily, but no sign of him at all.

“ugh.. we were too busy chatting! where’d he go?”

you sigh frustratedly and stomp down the hill, eyes still vigilant. “dammit, i shouldn’t have taken my eyes off of him while he was still upset. not even for one second… of course he’s going after childe.”

—

“…from this day forward, you will honor the oaths you have made to her majesty the tsaritsa and you will stop at nothing to bring snezhnaya victory.”

you can still taste the very same oath you swore years ago on your tongue. you still remember how tense your shoulders stayed and shaky the fist held to your heart was, how harsh and vile the words of the fatui initiation sounded coming out of dottore’s mouth. and now, they sound just as sharp coming from childe- you find that it gives you an unpleasant feeling in your chest.

teucer and childe, and consequently the new recruits, were not at all hard to find. you approach the gathering to see teucer propped up on a nearby rock, head held in his hands as he attentively watched the ceremony. you truly wish you’d kept your eye on teucer before and stopped him from coming here. it’s hard to be reminded of childe’s cold and devoted demeanor when it came to the tsaritsa- though, cold and devoted is what you could call any of her followers.

for some reason, the occasion causes you to pause and watch a bit of the procedure yourself, but you don’t focus on how intense the harbinger’s words are, nor on how the recruits react to it. no, instead you focus on childe’s scars.

they’re so evenly distributed throughout his body, or at least what you can see of it, that it almost seems intentional. at any other time, you would’ve thought them to be artistic and beautif- but err, uhm… but now they only look like glaring reminders of childe’s nature as the tsaritsa’s weapon of war. you’ve always thought that was a baffling title to have.

you notice teucer stand up to wave to his brother in the distance.

“…for the trials that we face are harsh, and the enemies are like- ..ehm,”

childe also looks over to where you were at that very second, catching onto teucer’s excited movements. his eyes asses your group, then they trail over to you and the seconds where your eyes meet seems to last longer than it should- there’s a shocked shift in his gaze and it’s then that you realize you’d been frowning this whole time. the harbinger then regards his brother’s presence and he stutters on his sentence.

“a-ahem, like… kites a-and rattle drums.. who shall become redoubtable foes of mr. cyclops in the marketplaces of liyue..!”

you hear teucer approve of his message right next to you, although the recruits don’t seem entirely sold.

“this is, of course, an analogy. as they say, ‘the marketplace, too, is a battlefield.’”

nobody says that.

“so, as your… sales manager here in liyue, i demand that you obey my every order! a refusal shall be considered a betrayal, and the price for betrayal is to be dishonorably discharged from.. a-ahem, the institute of toy research.”

this time, he can’t stupidly get away with this, as both teucer and the recruits seem queasy about the statement- much to childe’s dismay. he looks down for a moment as if to consider his options and shoots up again.

“eh.. uh… forget it! perhaps a round of hands-on training will suit us better!”

just how in teyvat is this guy your superior?

as if everything could not become any more absurd, childe’s proposal seemed to utterly please the new recruits- they whisper and rave to each other about the huge honor that it would be to fight with the eleventh harbinger. you could see the duels’ ends before they even began, with all of these poor newbies licking the dirt as they’re kicked into ground by childe with minimal effort.

just as expected, it’s over rather quickly- though the recruits do hold up their own for longer than you anticipated against someone like childe.

“well then, do you all understand what i said earlier?” childe interrogates with nonchalant confidence, as if he wasn’t slipping up and stumbling on his own words earlier.

“yes, sir!” the recruits heave out exhaustedly.

“excellent, and you all almost managed to get me limbered up. in other words, you’ve done well- for new recruits.”

“thank you, lord harbinger!”

childe gives the recruits some more encouragement before dismissing them as soon as possible. once they take off, teucer takes the opportunity to run up and tell his brother how amazing he was just then.

“teucer- what in the world are you doing here? there i was thinking that these three had taken you to play at wangshu inn, aha!” childe says, the latter sentence is pointed, much like his subtle glare up at the three of you.

“you really did get stronger.” the traveler admits with dignity and childe’s ego, as if it hadn’t been inflated enough by the drooling recruits just now, seems to swell.

“hah, i told you, didn’t it? i never pass on an opportunity to improve my strength. i’m not the

man i was when we first met.”

“you didn’t go all out, though.” she teases.

“by that, i assume you mean i didn’t use foul legacy transformation, yes?”

“it puts a great strain on my body, so it’s best saved for crucial moments.”

your eyes lower into a warning glare, thought playful one. “as if i’d ever let you use it in a situation like this.”

childe laughs with his full chest, amused at your quip.

“ahaha! yes, that much is true. if it hadn’t been for y/n’s medical prowess, i’d still be ways in recovery from the injuries i sustained back at the golden house. and they wouldn’t be a very good medic if they just let me slow down my own healing process, now, would they?”

you two share a knowing look and you give him an approving nod- and as everyone follows suit to look over to you, you fold your arms and pose out proudly, fully drinking up the praise towards your skill.

“anyway, i’m no signora. i don’t use lethal force against recruits, come on now…”

teucer scratches his chin in confusion. “the foul legacy transformation? does it make you stronger than mr. cyclops?”

“ahah… you could say that.” paimon laughs awkwardly.

“i wanna learn how to fight too! i wanna be cool like you!”

“now teucer, fighting isn’t about looking cool. you can only continue to get stronger if you know the reason why you’re fighting.” childe gestures to his younger brother in a lecturing manner.

“i can teach you. but think carefully first- why do you want to fight?”

“i…”

“hm?”

“..i want to protect sister tonia.”

the breath is taken from your chest for a moment. you don’t know what exactly you were expecting teucer’s answer to be but it was certainly not that. it’s so noble and honest and so… ajax, in a sense. you can’t describe what it is, but it sends you back to the times where you and ajax would have late-night deep talks inside pillow forts, whenever he slept over at your house. you’d deliberate about your lives and ambitions and you’d hear ajax express how much he aspired to become like the heroes in his father’s tales. courageous and selfless, so he could brace his fears and protect his loved ones. it’s uncertain if childe recalls the same memory as you, but he’s just as visibly pleased with teucer’s answer.

he pats the younger boy on the top of his head tenderly. “that’s a good answer teucer. when i return to snezhnaya, i will start teaching you fighting techniques.

then, you’ll have to protect tonia for me- how does that sound?”

“hehe, leave it to me!”

“you’ve had a nice long time here in liyue, haven’t you? isn’t it about time you took the boat back home?”

teucer pouts. “but, but… but you’ve been so busy, and we didn’t get any time to play together yet..”

“teucer, you know i’m very busy at work.. and hasn’t it been fun traveling all over the place with y/n and two proper travelers?”

you can tell childe feels like he hasn’t spent enough time with his brother either, but his worry about keeping up the toy seller appearance to protect teucer overcomes him. today has been nothing but close calls for him.

“w-well, how ‘bout this? if you just do one little thing for me, i’ll be a good boy and go back home!”

“oh dear, who taught this little devil to bargain.. alright, what’ll it be?” childe chuckles.

“take me to visit the institute of toy research!”

what? surely he doesn’t mean the research lab… once again, childe seems to have the same thought as you and you take the opportunity to throw him an incredulous, threatening look- as if to tell him ‘this might be your most gods awful idea yet if you take him there..’, but seemingly to no avail.

“done deal. after all, you’ve come all this way for me, teucer…”

childe persuades the traveler and paimon into taking teucer back to the facility at lingju pass and they take off soon after. you decide to stay behind and hopefully steer the harbinger away from the idea and he only faces you in waiting, like he already expects you to reprimand him. you cross your arms disappointedly and sigh.

“you know what i’m about to say to you, right?”

“hm, i might have an idea or two but just-“

“childe, that’s not just some abandoned facility for tourists to frolic inside- it’s dottore’s research lab and it’s active! if the machines inside that place don’t crush us all the second we walk inside, then surely my boss will do worse to us if we put anything out of place. i mean, this whole ordeal started because i had to go regulate the lab, then we found teucer and had to take him elsewhere so nothing bad would happen, who in their right mind-“

two strong, gloved hands come up to hold either side of your face.

the touch is somehow firm enough to effectively shut you up and hold up your head as to fully face childe, but still gentle enough as to not hurt or startle you. the committer of the act stares you right in the eyes, a doting look is apparent on his own azure gaze.

“y/n. answer this simply, do you trust me?”

there’s a pause as you process the development of the literal last 3 seconds and think of an answer- though the distracting, fluttering sensation in your chest also factors in the time you take to actually speak.

“w-well, it’s- it’s not about trusting you or-“

“do. you. trust. me?”

another pause. you look into his eyes as deep as you can and search for anything that says that maybe there’s an off-chance you shouldn’t trust him, but there’s nothing. he’s shown himself more than capable of steering situations back in his control today and it doesn’t need to be spoken how serious he is about protecting his family, even a scratch on teucer’s cheek would be a last case scenario to him. you sigh.

“i trust you, ajax.”

taglist ; @kentply @osaemu @rain-and-a-nice-nap @koichirana

[godkillerbrigade]

Will i like last days of friendship valley if I’ve never seen a single ep of my little pony?

Yes!! While it absolutely takes inspiration from MLP, it's a standalone work that doesn't require knowledge of other media.

Other inspirations include:

Disco Elysium (mechanically, and, to an extent, tonally)

Signs of the Sojourner (the original communication card game)

Invisible Cities (I'm a big freak for Italo Calvino's descriptive style)

Wildfrost (I've stolen so much UX from this game lol)

Extreme Meatpunks Forever (Is it allowed to list one of my own works as an inspiration? Point is, if you liked Meatpunks you'll like this)

The Discworld Series (Pratchett's logic-illogic is among the best, and something I always aspire to)

[drabblesandimagines]

Hiya, I love💕 your kitty fic. The way that Kitty x Rei's relationship is progressing feels so real.

I am wondering if you could do a Rei x artistic reader, like, she's always trying to draw him and stuff. If that makes sense

Thanks in advance

Thank you so much for your lovely comment <3

Sorry this took me a while to get to, but I hope you enjoy! --

Miri’s at daycare and Kazuki is running errands, leaving you and Rei alone in the apartment. He’s on the sofa, button mashing away. You’re on the armchair – you’ve moved it slightly so you have a clearer view of this face – feet up, your sketchpad balanced against your legs. Your art case is open to the side – a gift from the raven-haired assassin to make sure you had everything to hand easily. Every so often, Rei can hear you flip back and forth through the pages of your pad, scribble for a minute or two, then sigh as you turn pages again.

“What’s the matter?” He asks, eyes briefly leaving the screen to look at you. You’re concentrating hard, he notes, your face set in determination.

“You,” you huff.

“Me?” He sounds almost surprised.

“Yes, you!” You swipe through the pages again, find what you’re looking for, and put pencil to paper.

He frowns. The two of you had often done this from the start of your relationship – you drawing away, him gaming. Had he been neglecting you lately? “I’ll stop at the next save point…”

“Not that.” You interrupt, switching pages again.

“What, then?” He’s confused. You let out another sigh and switch to another page.

“You keep changing expressions. I can’t keep up!”

“Keep up?”

You nod, eyes flicking between him and the page – he still looks confused and you want to get the outline down as quickly as possible to work on later before he changes again.

“I know we can’t take photos…” There’d been ground rules from the start before Rei would even allow himself to think about entering into a relationship with you. Rules to keep you safe, that were non-negotiable. No PDAs, no information online, no photos. “..so I wanted to draw you instead.”

“Ah.” He pauses the game. “Can I see?”

“Sure,” you untangle yourself from your position on the armchair and join him on the sofa, nestling up besides him and passing him your sketchpad. “Bear in mind that none of them are finished though.” You huff, jokingly.

He takes it carefully, worried his fingers might smudge the graphite marks. On this page, he can see the outline of his face, a quick sketch of his shoulders, a confused look on his face. You’ve started a little shading. He carefully turns to the next page – this one is a little more finished, he’s mid-game. Does he really stick out his tongue like that when he’s concentrating? He continues turning through the pad, admiring each one of your sketches. Rei would’ve said he’s a man that displays little to no emotion, but every turn of the page proves him wrong.

“I understand why you might want a drawing instead of a photo, but why so many?” He looks into your eyes. He’s burnt your image into his brain, the only place where the Organization can’t get to.

“Well, you’re my muse,” you tease, leaning in and giving him a slow, soft kiss. As you pull away, you smile, briefly, before snatching back the sketchpad from his lap. “Wait, wait, don’t move…” You’re trying desperately to get the outlines of his lovestruck face down on the paper, but Rei smoothly grabs it again from your lap.

“Well, let me give you some more inspiration…” As he speaks, one hand places the sketchpad down safely on the coffee table, the other hand captures your chin and he guides you back into a deeper kiss.

--

Masterlist.

[sparklyhyperbole]

WIP ask game for "of trust and trickery" (because of course)

Where did all delectable that tragic backstory/lore for genie Link come from? Somehow I assumed that, just like Disney, we weren't gonna get much of an explanation as to *what* a genie actually is, but this is much more interesting. Will it be brought up within the story as well eventually?

😭 "delectable!!" You flatter me, @pitchblackespresso!! 💖

as for the inspiration, I'm intrigued by the Sheikah Spirit orbs.

Were the ancient monks guarding them for the hero? Were they a form of lifesupport for the monks? And then the orbs were an added benefit to Link? Did Hylia make them? The Sheikah?

What if the monks who turned Yiga took their orbs with them?

And then I flipped through my copy of Arabian Nights before reshelving it and thought about djinn for a while, and here we are!

We begin to unravel Link's backstory in the second half of the 3rd chapter, which is undergoing its fourth (and hopefully final) rewrite currently because THERE IS MORE TO THE BACKSTORY 🥲 and HYLIA LORE and I'm trying to do it justice and also not miss opportunities to show their relationship shifting.

I also keep going 🤔 "I could probably fit this in there," and then deciding no- no- that goes in the chapter 4 bucket. Or even the chapter 5 bucket (which are outlined, praise the lord)

But the bulk of Link's very bad day story will be in chapter 4.

Here's a snippit of Ch 3's beginning;

"

Cats are excellent listeners. They sit patiently, unthreatened by your honesty, flicking their tails every now and then in agreement. Best of all, they never ask leading questions or poke holes in your arguments.

Honeycomb is no exception. She's listened quietly and blinked calmly and sometimes even offered a comforting "ekk," to show she cares. Quite a long while has passed and the novelty of Zelda's presence and voice has worn off.

Yes, Honey is an excellent listener. Though, perhaps too objective an audience— because while Zelda paces circles fretting and muttering, Honeycomb dozes peacefully on the couch, unconvinced of any looming danger.

In fairness, Zelda's voice is very soothing, even when she's saying "I just think it's too simple," over and over again.

Link isn't there to volley rebuttals back and forth about the escape plan they've invented. She asked him to conduct reconnaissance, and off he whisked with a wink and a smirk.

In actuality, it's much easier to think without him there.

They spent what felt like the length of at least two council meetings in deep negotiation; she speculating and trying to see reason while he argued and attempted to curb his temper.

All those hours, and they only have five steps:

Zelda will wear the lamp and a stolen Yiga outfit and hide.

Link will disguise his appearance to be Zelda to fool the Yiga.

He will lead the Yiga on a wild chuu chase through the hideout.

The real Zelda will actually escape out the front entrance.

Link will return to the lamp around her neck either when he's been cornered, or when he's as far from the lamp as he can go, whichever comes first. 

"It's too simple." She tells Honeycomb again, ignoring the very faint cat snoring.

"

Iloveyou THANK YOU FOR THE ASK!!! 😁

[pouralaura]

wip wednesday

thanks for the tag, @tellmeallaboutit 🥰

1

who will burn who, Raphael/Tav university AU (hopefully I'll have this out sometime next week!)

The teacher/student chase is a tale as old as time, he knows; a terrible, titillating don't stand so close to me cliché. A perverse and sordid little affair. Raphael thinks delightedly that the established precedent makes this all the sweeter, all the more indulgent – particularly when he knows Tav sees it much the same, plays the game along with him.

With naught but exactly that brand of indulgence on his mind, he brings the elegant pastel fabric to his nose and inhales his sweetling, long and slow, and it’s a luxury. Sharp and sweet and wet; a hint of sweat, a touch of baby powder. Her musky scent stirs his cock to life again beneath his zipper, but he doesn't touch; not yet. Instead he holds the fabric there, breathing in and out. He is greedy. Wants too much, too fast.

But why shouldn’t he have it?

2

untitled, Astarion/Gale and Raphael/Tav

“Which one of them are you imagining right now?”

Gale grits his teeth. “Certainly n-not Raphael.”

“Tav, then? Hmm. A lovely choice.”

“You two have – then?”

He's not thought about her with any serious intent. She's cold and assertive and stubborn in a way that wouldn’t work alongside him. They don't share enough of the same interests. But he can't pretend she's not lovely. Can't pretend he's not hard and aching in the elf’s grip as he listens to her little mewls, even when it's a creature he trusts not an ilm coaxing them from her lips.

“Yes. More than once. But that was some time ago.”

“Do you still think about it?”

“Mmmm,” muses Astarion. “Not really. Loathe as I am to admit it, I do respect her very much.”

“Raphael,” they hear her pant. “Please – nnnmmmpphhh!”

There’s the unmistakable sound of a harsh slap against soft flesh, and a muffled moan – Gale can’t decide whether it’s more likely Raphael’s hand or Tav’s own over her traitorous mouth.

Astarion chuckles quietly, thumb moving lightly over Gale’s tip. “It’s a good thing they’re so far away from camp. Tav does love a spanking.”

3

tomorrow means nothing (ch. 2), Raphael/Tav modern AU inspired by The White Lotus

“I’ve – I’ve been with other people since. Since last time,” she confesses in a rush.

His eyes burn, but not in anger. She thinks, actually, that it might be pride. But for what? “Jealous as I may be of those lucky men or women, I cannot pretend to have lain a claim of exclusivity on you after but one night.”

She laughs nervously. “Your…erm…line of work probably doesn’t allow for many long-term attachments.”

“And what line of work is that?”

“Murder, I guess?”

He sighs. “Don’t be reductive. I am a freelance contracted killer. There is endless business negotiation involved.”

[collecosplay]

All Hallow's Eve LARP by L'Chaim Games - Meiserich (my ghost OC, yes he was shot in the face)

aka "Ghost Ball! Ghost Ball!", London, 02.12.23

Photos by Astora Photography on FB

My jester took so long to make because I took inspiration from Diana Wynne Jones' 'Howl's Moving Castle' where Sophie cuts up Howl's suit into triangles and then sews it back together, so Meiserich's outer layer is all triangles.

I wanted to make Meiserich out of scraps from previous projects, so virtually all of the cost of the outfit is the time that went into it. I worked on him for six months in virtually any free minute I could find the energy for. But it was worth it.

It's not 100% historically accurate, but this outfit was designed to double as a cosplay for the Fool from Robin Hobb's 'Assassin's Apprentice' and the rest of the Farseer Trilogy. (I still have to read the other books! No spoilers please though I have seen some sneak peeks thanks to fanart <3)

More about Meiserich as a character under the cut!

Meiserich (anglicised pronunciation: My-Zer-Rick) is a colloquial German name for galium odoratum, sweet woodruff. It's a flavour you can get commonly in German desserts and schnapps (Waldmeister), but I've never come across the flavour in the UK.

Meiserich is a jester from the early 1400's and lived in a part of the Holy Roman Empire that is now Germany, namely within the Roman Catholic Diocese of Münster. At the court of Droste zur Aa Meiserich had a close relationship with Lady Klara of the keep. In 1412 this court took part in a knights' jousting tournament in Buda where the future Holy Roman Emperor Sigismund was also in attendance. Whilst there, through social occasions, Lady Klara found out and obtained evidence that Sigismund was the one who poisoned the previous King of Germany, Jobst of Moravia. She confided in Meiserich what had happened.

It comes to light that Lady Klara knows too much, so Sigismund sends soldiers to Münster to besiege the keep. Meiserich encourages his Lady to run and hide with the evidence of the poisoning. As a jester it was also Meiserich's job to act as a messenger and diplomat at times. However, the siege negotiations failed, he was shot dead with an early arquebus design and the castle was fired upon with trebuchets. Lady Klara initially survived in the rubble in an airpocket but ultimately suffocated.

Meiserich usually haunts the ruins of the castle keep he used to live in. It is now a tourist destination and he likes to tease the tourists. He also eavesdrops and through them and the keep staff learns of other things going on in the world. He has not forgotten about Lady Klara and wants to reveal the truth she uncovered to the world.

Please note: The poisoning plot is fictional, Sigismund doing this is something I made up based on some Wikipedia reading I did.

His wish to have fulfilled at the LARP was to have the keep in Münster renovated and restored, revealing the buried corpse of Lady Klara. In her hand are a vial of poison and a letter proving Sigismund was the one who poisoned the previous king of Germany, Jobst of Moravia. It will be a joy for the historians and great to hear the tour guides at the keep bring this up in perpetuity.

And he got his wish fulfilled at the game! I'm so happy. Monsieur Roc Flamboyant (a French noble, 1600's) was touched enough by Meiserich's story and devotion to Lady Klara that he made the wish for Meiserich. I could not have asked for a better end to this game.

Shout out to the podcasts that helped me put together Meiserich as a character:

Gone Medieval by History Hit

We're Not So Different - esp. episode "Medieval Fail Sons: Wenceslas IV & Sigismund"

Weird Medieval Guys - esp. episode "Sieging for Dummies"

The Court Jester by Kleio Pethainou

I'm glad I picked the early 1400's for Meiserich's death, this is still before the Western printing press, Columbus sailing off to the detriment of many, the fall of Constantinople, and the big witch hunting craze, so he died in a bygone world on the cusp of the Early Modern Period.

If I could give him one power like in BBC Ghosts, I'd say that the two bells on his hat are audible to the living.

[saintmouthed]

dtcfdp chapter 2 (author commentary)

I fear it is time to Reread dtcfdp Again and I'm going to be so annoying about it, actually. Anyway I'm gonna basically reread my own fic and liveblog the experience. Chapter 2 commentary starts under the cut, but you can find chapter 1 commentary here if you're interested!

FLIRTING DISGUISED AS NEGOTIATION...oh I see that's always been a favorite of mine.

"But it’s difficult not to feel like life is passing him by, stuck in this temporary place between all the milestones of ‘average’ adulthood and unable to find his way to the next stage, watching everyone else leave him behind. With jobs, with relationships, with careers. If not with those things, then at least they know what they want and how to get it."

yeah I was going through it in early adulthood, how did you know? (I wanted this fic to like... explore that more thoroughly, but I had SO MANY threads going on in this fic, and the most interesting was the goofiness and the kink, so that's what we got)

(though this does remind me that I found my notebook where I brainstormed dtcfdp in the first time,,, perhaps I will share some of those notes as a DVD extra at the end of the commentary)

It was fun. It was kind of silly, though, because that’s just the way that we were, and I don’t think I necessarily left those encounters feeling like I got everything I could from it. R.

baby masochist R my beloved. SOOOO much projection in this fic, except my adventurous partner (the one that inspired this ex-boyfriend of R's) was too embarrassed to even admit they were into That even though it was so obvious and I knew.

Aren’t you a sadist? Do you even know the meaning of the word? R. For the sake of making sure you’re comfortable playing with me at the end of the week, I absolutely know the meaning of the word. Ange. What about for the sake of honesty? R. Rarely. Ange.

been talking about this a lot lately. Another thing that I wanted in the fic but it never made it into the actual text. I always imagined that Enjolras had a nasty breakup with someone in the scene before he met Grantaire and he blames himself, and that's why he's holding back so much and trying so so hard to be careful with Grantaire's boundaries. Of course that's part of where the whole mess comes in, they're both so worried they're doing something Wrong that they don't want to Talk to each other. lmao.

Besides, Fantine lets him use the wheels after-hours and on his days off so long as he pays for the clay, and sometimes he really fucking misses the ceramics lab.

I FORGOT ABOUT THIS...oh Grantaire and Joly and Bossuet only drink from Grantaire's hand thrown mugs. When he first started working at the Paint and Party, they were so wonky and small because he was out of practice. Now they're increasingly elaborate, to the point where Joly and Bossuet still use the wonky ones because they're afraid of dropping the pretty ones.

If you’re asking me if I’m attracted to you, though, the answer is yes. Ange

writing dtcfdp enjolras is soooo fun. Especially when I get to write his POV, because to Grantaire he's always trying his best to be suave and charming and mean, meanwhile mentally he's swearing up a storm.

Mhm. There’s nothing quite like it, and I am all kinds of mean there is. Ange.

LIKE THIS

“You feed your adventure to a hungry dragon,” Bossuet adds, helpfully. Grantaire doesn’t know how he manages to sound so excited. Bossuet has consistently gotten terrible rolls no matter the game or the dice, and out of the four of them, even with as much as they play together, he’s the only one who’s had multiple characters die in-game due to unfortunately timed crit-fails.

I STILL HAVEN'T PLAYED THIS GAME RIP....poor Grantaire having all his TTRPG characters die. That was cruel of me

the negotiation... tearing up, remembering my early forays into the scene,,, wow

Not this time, he says. R. This time? Ange.

as much as Grantaire goes insane for Enjolras saying "next time" in this fic... you just KNOW that Enjolras is frothing at the mouth at this mention.

Which is fine. He's fine (section break) He is not fine.

this never fails to make me laugh.

“This is my cue to remind you that everything about this is up to you.” “I know.” Grantaire says, voice muffled against his shoulder. “You can go home right now, if you like.” “I know.” “I absolutely will not ask you to do anything you don’t want to do.” “I know.” Grantaire says, once more, with a huff of laughter.

Ange runs his hand up and down Grantaire’s back in a comforting gesture before pulling away to look at his face. “Good. It’s always worth repeating just once more. Now, what would make you feel most comfortable? Do you want to call it off for today, or try another time, maybe?”

genuinely crying now....I love them and also just, agh. I loved getting to write him as gentle in these crucial moments. I love a sadist as you probably know but I also love a "hey, reminder, you're safe, you're in control" sweetness.

“That’s cute.” Ange says. “But unnecessary. Save your ‘sir’s for when I actually punish you.”

was just talking about this too!!!! this was legitimately my favorite thing to play with in this fic. Grantaire constantly throwing around sarcastic "sir yes sir"s and Enjolras tolerating it.... until That Scene

“Words, please.”

fucking menace. I hate when they do this (by which I mean I think it's mean, by which I mean I love it) but also I LOOOOOVE saying it myself. So. The duality of man.

“How are you feeling?” “…A little bit…fuzzy.” Ange chuckles, resting his hands on Grantaire’s thighs. “Happy?” Grantaire has to think about this for a moment. “Yeah, I guess so. Why?” “Because you’re grinning like crazy.” Grantaire touches his face to confirm that he is, in fact, grinning a wide smile. “Oh.”

SCREAMS... I forgot about this. FUCK. I love this. SO MUCH.

I'LL HOLD YOU AS LONG AS YOU NEED....do you ever CRY. I love the chapters that end like that. it's so CUTE.

this was so fun. I love reading over this fic, and lately people have really been flattering me telling me they reread it too. <3

next chapter commentary coming soon!

[wetcatspellcaster]

Hiya! I hope this doesn't bring up shitty memories, but I thought you mentioned before how Rosalie was in a sense inspired by your experience playing a lawful good character in your home game, and having to deal with players who did not share a similar morality.

I recently had a similar experience in my homegame and it felt very Good, but also not very Fun to go against your party like that. Like I enjoy roleplaying a good character (being able to solve problems by being kind is my power fantasy) but I dont want to take away from the fun my friends could be having.

So I wanted to ask if you dealt/deal with that too? And if yes, how did/do you go about it?

I hope this isnt too weird a question, but feel free to ignore if it is! In any case, good luck with your goings-on, Dr. Wetcat!

hey anon! it's not a bother, that D&D game was an awful experience but it taught me so much about playing and DMing that I've carried forward so I'm always happy to share my thoughts :)

I guess my first thought is, how big was the disagreement and how much does it mean to you? If it was a roleplayed argument that got resolved, you're fine. negotiations in character are part of the fun, you might just have social anxiety (i say this, from experience). if it is something more impactful than that, e.g a decision that will play out longer term, or that split the party, or that resulted in your character going off on their own, or it impacted other people's stories, then I got you. maybe you wanna talk about it.

The second question is: was the upset from you, or your character? Bleed is a very real thing, but if you found it more stressful for your character than for you, and you were able to chill with your friends afterwards no issue, you're probably ok. if you yourself are feeling sad/stressed/upset about it after as *you*, that's also my red flag from personal experience. maybe you wanna talk about it.

And that's my biggest piece of advice: communicate. Either with your DM, or your other players, or both! idk the nature of your game, but my problem game was filled with LARPers who refused to have above-the-table conversation - it created this really intense atmosphere where stuff just happened and it all happened in character, and it couldn't be negotiated or discussed out of character, which created some incredibly high, insane stakes. if you're having a disagreement in character, it's totally ok to come out of the 'scene' and say 'is this ok?'. this can diffuse the situation, both stressful in-the-moment wise as it gives people a break from the 'drama', and it'll also help you get a read of the situation, and for people to give their honest, non-roleplayed answers.

talk about it afterwards as well. check in with everyone to see how they feel, if this is something out of the ordinary for your game. Some people really like disagreement and may even be like 'this could be a really good plot line/piece of development for your/my character', they might tell you there was no real issue whatsoever and you were just having a social anxiety, or they might be honest and say 'i don't want to do that again'. As someone with RSD, i get that the second answer might feel a little rubbish at the time, but in the end, it's all useful info right? It tells you how to act in the moment :) it gives you better parameters on how to act going forward :)

Remember that D&D is NOT a first person game, it's a third person game - it's the story of the party, not just you or any other single player. At points, you may have to go with the consensus. The question to ask at these points is: "...is this still fun for me?" Like yes, you might not be getting your way, but is 'their' way actively unpleasant for you to be involved in, or is it ok to concede the point? If the answer is 'yeah, it's fine', you're all gucci. I personally left my problem game, bc I realised the consensus was not for me, and I decided that was on me and my responsibility - I couldn't spend my weekends trying to change people's minds about how to have fun, but I *could* remove myself from a situation I was not personally enjoying.

having some disagreement is ok. not everyone is going to agree 100% of the time. but if you're feeling weird about it, I hope this advice helps!!

[froppy-butterflyfan2000]

Yes it was true that Agrippa couldn’t believe that he and her finally made it inside the citadel after entering the main hall, however he can’t just be too relaxed and enjoy the gala. This gala is for Blakk Industries employees only, and Daiyu was able to get her a ticket and a ‘Plus 1’ ticket for Agrippa by torturing negotiating with one of the employees. He been not being serious on the mission, first he watched the Flaringos dance while she wait for him (she should have kept her ticket to herself, instead of giving it to him for safekeeping. Big mistake) and now he wants to enter raffles!

Daiyu clenched the blank raffle ticket in her hand and glares at him. “Agrippa!” Daiyu angrily whispered. “We shouldn’t be doing this. Blakk Industries track down our informations by filling out these raffle tickets. Worst of all, expose that we are here.”

Agrippa frowns upon Daiyu’s reaction when he gives her a raffle ticket for her to enter. Daiyu let out a scoffed. “I want to see this rare Hypnogriff with my own eyes.” Daiyu continuing whisper aggressively to Agrippa, but out of paranoia. “It could be a Cryptogriff in disguise by the illusionist, a smuggler ghoul,”

Agrippa thinks deeply to what his friend just said, he may want the gaming console and a high tech blaster so badly, that does not means he writes down his name and contact number that will leads to a bad outcome. Meanwhile, Thaddius D. Blakk aka Tad is looking down at the pizza slice he taken. It looks dry and it is floppy. There is no mushrooms, the underdog pizza topping, at all! It is not just the pizza that is considered a ‘bad apple’. (Ricochet Pizza is better than this pizza.) The popcorns are stale, the punch may in fact be spiked, and other snacks are dry and icky. Tad is dissatisfied that the gala is not going how his father planned. However, the idea was made by Maurice.

Tad gritted his teeth and makes a mental note to fire the chefs. He has return from the Western Caverns/99 Caverns after expanding Blakk Industries in the surface as an alternative energy fueling transportation business for a conference and mandatory attending the gala for the family business’ public image. He shifted his eyes and narrowed at the ‘two guests’. So, a member of The Shane Gang and his friend is back too? He slightly smile wickedly. He looks at his slugs - Pieper the Pieper Slug and Sparcx the Ampling. Despite there’s gala crashers, it look likes the gala is getting more interesting.

My short story for The Blakk Gala | Slugterra Community Event by @ariaterramoon - A combination of Week 2 and Week 3

The design of adult Tadd Blakk is inspired by Deviantart user, shad116seem’s two designs of Tadd Blakk. I never thought that no one ever included other Slugterra characters, such as Tadd Blakk in the event, so I decided to include him.

[valiantvillain]

You let me into your house and so I am asking - you didn’t expect Miraz to romance Astarion, so what was the point that you know it was happen (and was it a different point for them?)

Okay, this might get long bc now I have an excuse to ramble about these two.

It's an interesting case of yes and no with Miraz and Astarion. When I was making her in the character creator I had the idea for her to try the Astarion romance for no other reason than I thought it would be funny. A fairly lawful good paladin trying to teach morals and values to a chaotic hot mess of a vampire with all the energy of a cat owner lecturing their misbehaving pet as they carry from their most recent shenanigans by the scruff of their neck. But then I actually started playing with Miraz, and as a character, she just started to really click for me with an ever-growing backstory and I found myself having a lot of interesting roleplay behind her decisions, including those with Astarion. They were still hilarious but roleplaying Miraz being well aware he was trying to manipulate her (inspired by a passive insight check very early in the game with him) it added this really interesting element to their dynamic. Someone using flattery and flirtation to assure their own safety with someone more accustomed to being dismissed as ugly (bc let me tell you, some NPCs are not shy about calling a half-orc Tav a brute, ugly, "maybe you can use those cutters on the rats in the cellar") and was just plain skeptical of him due to her own history of being manipulated by her noble relations for years.

But even though Miraz distrusted him, like it or not they needed him and to leave one of their tadpole squad behind was not an option to her. Because at her core, she is a paladin, someone whose job it is to protect people...even from themselves on occasion. And she felt somewhat compelled to see what exactly was the objective of this long game he was playing with her. And in act 1 she fully expected him to chicken out when it came time to consummate all that flirting bc well...she's a half-orc. She's done this before, sometimes played along like in this case to see the inevitable moment where her potential partner realizes they didn't actually want to commit to this. But then he didn't follow the script and pride demanded she not be the coward. Thus in playing chicken, she ended up eating crow and much to her chagrin, enjoyed it. Even the bite.

I think the point where I knew they had transitioned from just kinda funny joke pairing to something more meaningful for me personally was in act 2. Particularly when Astarion starts trying to figure out his scars and is willing to deal with Raphael to do it. Miraz wanted to smite this smarmy cambion from the moment they met him. But he was their only lead in translating the contract, so even though she had so many bad feelings about the whole thing she let Astarion do it. After all, you gotta be desperate to seek aid from a devil. To me, that signified a small but significant shift in their relationship, with Astarion trusting her with the information about the contract and her trusting him enough to negotiate for himself with Raphael despite all her reservations. And I just thought to myself "oh, she IS warming up to him at this point, or at the very least trusting him a bit more, this is a thing now".

The point for them was still act 2, just a bit later in it, after encountering Adaj Oblodra in Moonrise Towers. Miraz in her mind, was doing the natural thing, the expected thing, "he said no, the answer is no, he's not drinking your blood". Then came the confession afterward where Astarion admitted he had been trying to manipulate her and his history with using sex as just a tool in the kit, and in that moment it really struck Miraz how much all of his behavior stemmed from being in survival mode. With all the implications clicking in her head, she understood the motivation behind it and figured that this would be the natural conclusion to their little situationship and that they would probably just be allies, maybe even friends after this. She could be content with that, it's not like she really expected this to go anywhere anyway, although to her surprise she found the notion stung a bit. However, to her even greater surprise, he expressed a genuine desire in continuing to explore a relationship with her, and suddenly a hug and a holding of her hand felt more intimate than anything Miraz had ever done with anyone.

So yeah, sorry for the very long answer but I was articulating so many thoughts I had throughout that run, and like Gale, I have a tendency to be quite verbose, for better or for worse.

[mygloviesme]

cool about it. || myg

no. 6: we don’t have to talk about it

predebut/debut!yoongi x female idol

summary: kanako is an established idol with a growing career and a secret relationship with a producer from her label, haneul. when she’s asked to work with yoongi and rm to create a track for her, she gains unexpected feelings for a certain upcoming rapper. with her increasing fame, her controlling boyfriend, a set of six boys who seem to have grown an attachment to her, and a new boy who’d give her the world, how will she figure out a way to balance it all?

(definitely inspired by boygenius)

word count: 3.0k

genre: ANGST, friends(?) to lovers, slow burn, lots of pining, slight fluff

chapter warnings: toxic relationship (not w/myg), mentions of mental health, mentions of grooming (not w/myg)

inspo song: anything by adrianne lenker.

"i dont wanna be the owner of your fantasy, i just wanna be a part of your family"

FEBRUARY 15TH, 2012, 11:51PM

Once the games and conversations have settled, I sit in Yoongi’s bed once again, scrolling on my phone as the rest of them do. It was an eventful night with lots of screaming and jokes and fun. Something I’ve forgotten about these past ten months. I feel like I’ve been wrapped in a heated, weighted blanket and put to bed. That’s how this night has made me feel. I wonder if they know how much this has meant to me, I think to myself. 

If they did, would it scare them? 

I use that thought to my advantage and choose to not express those feelings, not for a while at least. They can’t know how lonely I've been these past couple years. How drained, isolated, and unhappy I’ve been. I want to enjoy this non-complicated bliss for a while longer. They don’t have to know just yet. 

I see a notification pop up on the top of my screen, causing me to freeze. I click to see the full message, It’s from Bang-PD. 

Bang: Hello Kanako, sorry to bother you so late at night. I’ve been informed by a colleague who knows someone that works at K-Station, that the story of you and Haneul will drop tomorrow. I’m unsure of how the story got out to begin with, but that will be discussed later. I know this is a big worry for you as much as it is for everyone here at BigHit, but I negotiated with him as much as I could. Unfortunately, all I was able to do was convince him not to release Haneul’s name, though he’s still releasing other information about him that still connects him to BigHit. I’m sorry for this, Kanako. The least I can do is cancel any sort of promotion that’s been previously booked for you this year. Please let me know however I, or any of the staff here, can further support you during this troubling time. There’ll be a meeting to cover more at 8AM tomorrow. 

My hands shake as I grasp my phone tightly, rereading the text over and over again. Over and over and over again. This can’t be real, right? How could this situation get any worse? Why does this always happen? What’s so wrong with me that I’m always hurting?

I click the call button and PD-nim answers almost immediately. 

“Yes, Kanako.” He says, knowing what I’ve called about. 

“One moment,” I mutter, rushing over Yoongi’s laying body and to the balcony door. It doesn’t occur to me at the moment how frantic I must seem to the boys. But I don't care. All I’m thinking about is what’s going to happen. To me, to the company, to the boy’s success. If they don’t succeed, it’s my fault isn’t it? This scandal is going to burn this company down to its core. It’s my fault, it’s my fault, it's my fault. 

I step onto the balcony, feeling the fresh hair hit my face and I close the door behind me. I bring the phone back up to my face and start to cry, “T-This is all my fault, isn’t it? I’m going to ruin the company’s name?” I choke.

“Kanako please calm down-”

“I CAN’T calm down! It’s my fault, it’s all my fault…” My cries turn into sobs. 

“We’re going to handle it, I promise you. We won’t go down without a fight.” 

I clutch my hair with one hand, shutting my eyes tightly. “What about the boys? The group? Will they still debut?” I whisper. 

His answer is delayed, and I can feel the hesitation that stalls his voice. Stop feeling. Stop feeling. 

“W-We will cover that tomorrow, they’ll be attending the meeting as well.” 

I shake my head uncontrollably, “No, Bang. They have to debut. You have to promise me that will still happen. I don’t care, let me go, I-I’ll give up my career. I’ll stop performing, just promise me.” 

I can hear him sigh through the phone, “It won’t have to come to that, Kanako. There is just some things we need to discuss. Tomorrow. Everything will be handled. Our priority is you at this moment, okay?” He aims to comfort me, but that doesn’t comfort me whatsoever. 

I don’t want to be the main priority, I feel like nothing compared to those boys. They have so much hope, so many dreams, and I’m fading away. I’m withering into the background and I’ve accepted it. I don’t matter. 

I swallow the growing lump in my throat with a wince. 

“O-Okay. See you tomorrow.” 

“See you tomorrow, Kanako.”

The phone call ends and I place my phone in my sweatpants, Jungkook's sweatpants. 

I walk over to the balcony railing, placing my hands along it softly. I sniffle my tears away and stare up to the night sky. It’s so quiet. I wonder, will the streets be rioting tomorrow? Will there be people at my doorstep, telling me I’m a horrible person? Will there be anyone left after everything’s been taken from me? It seems the universe isn't satisfied with my misery, not just yet.

I hear the door crack open behind me, looking to see who it is. I see all seven boys piling onto the balcony, knowing they won’t fit. So they all just stand amid themselves, some with hands in their pockets, some looking at me directly. Yoongi stands behind them, almost hiding. 

“Hi guys.” I laugh through my tears painfully. Jungkook, the lanky sixteen year old, snakes his way in my direction. He stands next to me, placing his arm around me. It catches me off guard but I don’t reject it. Just this once, I’ll soothe into someone’s consolation. Just this once. 

“You heard that, huh?” I say, knowing this situation brings déjà vu for the both of us. He’s always here, isn’t he? Coming to my rescue. He shouldn’t have to be. He’s so young, just like I was. 

“We, uh, all did.” He speaks with a gentle grip on my shoulder. Although being younger than me, he’s still much taller than me. But this time it doesn’t scare me that I have to look up to him, to someone. There’s a glimmer in his doe-eyes that makes me smile. 

I peak behind to the boys who stand there, all looking at the night sky with us. 

Yoongi steps forward through what seems to be a crowd, standing on the other side of me. 

“We’re here for you.” Is all he says, locking his eyes into mine. The care that rests in his demeanor is enough for my heart to glow shiny, bright red. But in this moment all I want is to be held, consoled. So I set those feelings aside and rest my head on Yoongi’s shoulder. Like he’s an old friend, someone who’s done this with me many times before. That’s how it feels anyway. 

I feel the rest of the boys surround us closer, and we extend to a group hug. It’s vulnerable, unexpected, but wanted. I feel wanted. Not in a lustful, wrong way. But in a grounding way. 

Is this how it feels to be loved truly, hopefully, madly, properly?

FEBRUARY 16TH, 2012, 8:00PM

I sit in the same conference room, but this time with the boys. Bang has no idea we had all just come from the same room, which I know is another stupid decision I made. But this one isn’t something I’d like to feel bad about, not yet. 

“First I’d like to say, this meeting will be met with zero judgment. We’re treading on very thin ice and I’d like this meeting to be beneficial. Is that understood?” PD-nim says, and we all agree unanimously. 

“Great, moving on. Kanako, how do you feel about canceling the rest of your previously booked events? This means,” He shuffles through his stack of stapled paper, “-Interviews, promotions, performances, and award shows.” He clears his throat and focuses on me. 

I lick my lips slowly, thinking of his question. I knew he asked that last night, but I was unsure even then. This means losing money. Lots and lots of money, from both ends. 

“What will it mean for my career?” I question honestly. 

“We still have an ongoing contract for you that we intend on fulfilling. It’ll be up to you if you’d like to renew it, as it ends on November 18th later this year. We are still wanting you to be an idol under this company, though. Your renewal will be met with zero hesitation from us, if you do decide to do so.” He says. 

I nod, “I’ll take a break, then.” 

He gives a half smile and writes something down, before looking at the group of boys. 

“There will be a stallment to your debut, as me and the team have discussed. The set date was,” He looks down to his papers again, “April 12th, 2013. Now it will be June 12th, 2013. Just to get everything back in order so we’re well organized for that time.” He concludes. 

I sink into my chair just a little and glance at the boys who nod, unexpressive. 

“How does that make you all feel?” I hear myself mutter. Didn’t know I’d be speaking like this. 

Namjoon sits up from his chair, setting his arms on the table, “We’re ready whenever the company is. We, uhm, are in full support of Kanako.” He expresses, which meets agreements from the other members. PD-nim’s mouth parts slightly, nodding slowly. 

“That’s…good to know. Anyway,” He slides us all a piece of paper, “This is an NDA. All of the staff have signed it and we need you all to sign as well. We need utter privacy at this time, nothing that you hear or know in this building leaves it, is that understood?” Before Bang finishes speaking, Yoongi has already reached for a pen and gives a hurried signature. 

He lays back in his seat and his expression still hasn’t moved. The rest follow, the sound of signatures after the other. I grip the pen and give mine as well, with a little hesitation. Maybe it’s the embarrassment of having dragged everyone in this mess with me. 

“Before we wrap up this meeting, there are some notable mentions. The trainees we had here have been moved to various entertainments, just as an added precaution. We as a team expect there will be press covering all grounds of this building and there isn’t any need to have more information leak. As for questions you may get asked, we have asked our publicists to ensure that all will be avoided in future interviews. If there happens to be a time when you do get asked,” He looks over to the boys, “The answer is to not answer. We will handle it.” He purses his lips to create something of a smile. 

He gets up to collect our papers, stuffing them in his folder and placing it on top of his binder. He stays standing, “Since we’ve moved the trainees, there are more dorms available. You boys will be moved to the same unit Kanako resides in. The rooms are more spacious and we’ve decided to split it up in two, so who is staying in who’s dorm is up to you seven. As for you all in total,” 

His gaze travels to mine, “I urge you all to stick together during this time, including Kanako. It might be helpful for you to have peers to talk to. There may be other meetings as the situation develops, but for right now I encourage everyone to rest.” Ah, the calm before the storm. 

He gives one last bow before leaving the conference room. Once the door has closed and the dust settles, I hear a small voice. 

“Does this mean I can move in with Kanako?” Jungkook whispers. 

FEBRUARY 16TH, 2012, 12:00PM

I hear loud footsteps and the voices of the same boys I was with just outside my dorm. This has been happening for two hours now, and I assumed they were moving into their new dorms. I took these few hours to ease my mind, turning off my phone semi-permanently. I thought it was best I avoid any news outlets or messages from people I went to school with. I’m sure my phone is about to implode with how many texts and missed calls I’m getting. 

Besides, there’s no family members that I need to contact. A painful reminder as I stuff my phone in my junk drawer. I take a deep breath before stepping outside my room, seeing a box toppled over with clothes and various objects pooling the floor. Taehyung and Jimin are bickering in the other dorm, and Jungkook runs outside to see me when he hears my door open. 

“Kanako! Help us!” He begs, and I tilt my head in confusion. He grabs my wrist to lead me inside the dorm, but when I feel his grip I back away aggressively, jerking my hand from his. The notion was too familiar, my spine being sent chills when I remembered his name. Haneul. I know Jungkook didn’t mean any harm, but when I saw, felt, his long fingers on my wrist I went into fight or flight. 

“D-Don’t do that.” I say assertively, rubbing my wrist with my other hand. His expression falls, and I sense he’s at a loss for words. 

The edges of his mouth turn into a gentle smile, “Of course, I’m sorry. Do you-would you like to come in and help us move in?” He asks, gesturing to me to come in. He’s not upset with me? 

I accept his request and caress his arm in reassurance as I step inside. The place is mostly empty, with boxes and tubs on top of each other. Yoongi is on his back, underneath the bunk bed. Jungkook follows and stands next to me, sighing, “He thinks the creaking noise it’s making means it’s broken. He’s been at this for thirty minutes.” 

I laugh and walk over to Yoongi, leaning down so I’m on my hands and knees. I lean my head down to meet with him, looking at him with curiosity. “You know these beds are very, very old. Actually, the one in my dorm is 10 years old, I’ve been told. And it has not collapsed once.” I say. He plops his head down on the carpet, “That’s not a problem when your bed isn’t being slept on by two people.” His voice is slightly muffled. 

I hum, “That’s true. But listen,” I scooch under the small space so we’re lying side by side. The space between us is minimal to none, and if we turn our faces we’d only be inches away from each other. I realize this closeness and in turn, my cheeks flush. “Nothing is going to happen.” I assure him.

He licks his lips and closes his eyes, “It’s better hearing it from your mouth instead of Jungkook’s.” He says, which makes my palms embarrassingly clammy. It also makes me feel like I need to go to the bathroom, badly. But you did not hear that from me. My eyes are hesitant to look at him, but with a leap of faith, I do so anyway. And it feels freeing. I feel like this is how these things are supposed to go. Natural, awkward. 

These feelings are okay to have. As long as you don’t go any further. 

But I think back to last night, when he let me rest my head on his shoulder for what felt like hours. When he saw me after my horrible dinner, mascara down my face and snot dribbling above my upper lip. He’s already seen me. He knows me, he knows what I look like when I’m broken down, vulnerable. Then why is it that I still need a wall between us? Why is it that I feel like I’ve failed when he looks at me the way he’s looking at me right now? 

His almond eyes are almost blurred from the darkness of being underneath this bed, but I can still see him, and he sees me. X-ray vision. He looks down to my lips in a quick motion, and I feel my breath hitch. But I’m leaning over, and so is he. We’re so close to each other, I can feel his breath on my face. It has a hint of mint and something else I assume to be his breakfast.

And I want to be his next meal, in the most wholesome sense of the phrase. 

“Kanako..”

“I love when you say my name.” I confess in the form of a whisper. 

His lips brush mine, before I’m grabbed and dragged from my ankles. I bonk my head on the edge of the bed and look at Taehyung who’s looking at me like a lost puppy. I rub my forehead and close my eyes, unable to process what just happened this past minute. 

“What the fuck..” I groan. My head throbbing. 

Yoongi scooches from under the bed so he’s sitting up next to me, staring at Taehyung with a look I can’t read but it seems like Taehyung can. He stutters, “I-uh, we just…sorry about that, Kanako.” Tae hangs his head low. I try to shake my head but I’m too busy soothing the pain that’s building up in my frontal lobe, surely damaging it. “Uh, it's fine. What is it?”

Taehyung pouts, “Is it true Jungkook is staying with you? And if so, can we all take turns spending the night because I think it’s very unfair that he gets to-”

I interrupt him, “No, he’s not staying with me.” I sigh, “Jungkook!” I call out his name in annoyance. I hear small thuds that turn into louder ones, Jungkook peering from the dorm door. His head peaks in slightly, afraid of being scolded. “I’m sorry but you can’t stay in my dorm, there’s just not enough room! It’s a single.” I say while placing my hand over my heart playfully, emphasizing my pity.

He pouts just like Taehyung, “But maybe you could sleep over here sometimes? Now there’s no excuse for you not to, it’s not like you’re doing anyth-”

“Jungkook.” Yoongi snaps. 

The young boy nods in apology, “Just a couple nights a week?”

I roll my eyes, “A couple nights a week, sure.”

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