#and yes this happens many times when grouping ppl and territories. but i think this was done. uhm. more 'a drede'

[minglana]

on the one hand i understand classifying the entirety of la franja with the catalan countries. on the other hand, most if not all of the ppl there feel more aragonese than catalan

[daz4i]

ok spoilers for chapter 88 and onwards ahead for the 2 followers i have who avoid bsd manga spoilers!!!!!!!

stop reading here I'm warning you

ok so. I've seen ppl discuss whether or not akutagawa will survive post vampire apocalypse thing. and i wanna offer my 2 cents

while i do agree with the people saying his death scene was kinda perfect and super satisfying, i think that's only true when you look at it in a vacuum rather than in the context of the whole story, and mainly his 6 months deal with atsushi. and this is why i think there's no way he will perma die before this showdown happens, or at least when we get close to it in the timeline (which I'm p sure we aren't, it's been maybe 2 months at most since they made that deal i think, and that's me being generous with my calculations)

giving that exact time frame of 6 months is too specific to not have a proper payoff. akutagawa can't die yet (like. if it was some vague promise to last as long as it takes for atsushi to become stronger or smth, this would've worked. but the number has to be important. otherwise it wouldn't have been so explicitly stated and iirc even repeated later on)

so this is established. now I'm gonna get into fanfic territory bc this is what I'm thinking about instead of sleeping

i think being unvampirized - either by bram or dazai or however this'll go down - won't just make him his normal, alive self. tho, this last chapter confirmed the vampires can self heal, so maybe this is how it'll go, but i want the angst of it not counting bc it's also part of the ability or w/e, so if the ability cancels out then so will all of its effects. bc i said so. and this is the only way my idea can work.

so anyway now we've got this more corpse-like than usual akutagawa on hand. and atsushi is freaking out. i wanna say everyone has grouped back up together, ada and mafia even maybe, so they all see him freaking out, too.

some of them are confused - weren't you two enemies? yes, you worked well together, but was your bond really that deep...? - is what they think. some of them get it, tho.

in his panic, atsushi locates yosano, practically begging her to heal akutagawa, he's not dead yet, but he's very close to that, and she can help

there's this moral dilemma for the ada, remembering how some of them were directly hurt and injured by akutagawa, and how the mafia is still very much their enemy, and yosano is also having these thoughts. fukuzawa is still missing and can't deliver the final decision on the matter

but atsushi seems so distressed, over this man who tried to kill him so many times. he is mumbling about how akutagawa hasn't killed in awhile, how he tried his best not to hurt anyone, how he's atsushi's partner now.

if atsushi wants him to live, how can the ada say no? and so, yosano uses her ability to save him. the first thing he sees once he's fully conscious, is atsushi's face above his, tears in his eyes

and. this is all i have for you. they reunite - properly - and it's very sappy. love wins.

[randomoranges]

I'm pretty sure you've mentioned it before but what tribe does Étinenne belong to? Any specific details you can give?

Bonjour – hi hello pardon for the delay

I got super busy with work and stuff and then had to think of the answer because this is not a straightforward question haha and then had to revise the og answer to make it better.

Anyways this is going to be a Thing and a little bit all over the place but here we go.

As they say in the vernac’ attache ta tuque a’c d’la broche à foin.

Bref.

So

The island of Montreal was before colonisation a meeting hub for different groups of first nations. They’d come to what is now the old port area and trade, exchange, meet up, etc. But not no one really stayed permanently esque in that gen area in a long term type of way.

Keeping that in mind, Pointe à Callière is currently the museum that has the ruins of the old Ville Mariefortifications from the Maisonneuve era.

Both areas are super close to one another. Like it’s part of the same area.

After MUCH consideration and going back and forth (thank you 5ever @allbeendonebefore for the help – the real MVP) I’ve come to these following thoughts.

For starters, it’s more particular with étienne because Montreal is a city – but it’s also an island and a few years back they tried to like unite all the cities of the island into one giant city on the island. To some success. So – what path did I want to go with? And also both paths have their pros and cons and things that make it easier and harder.

I always chose the island one because it encompasses the Important Areas of the City and the ones with the Most History, so it’s easier to include More. Ish.

Ét would have started off as just Some Guy who appears where Pointe à Callière is. He’s a regular dude and he likes the vibe of the place and the comings and goings of the people in the area so he sticks around and lives his life. People (the First Nations people who were using that area as a trading/exchange/meet up hub) would tell him stories of their adventures/things that happened because ét seemed trustworthy and because he was the “local guy” who just happened to be there and et is curious and does fit in with crowds really well. Ét ends up “collecting” these stories and obviously finds them fascinating.

Throughout his early days, he picks up on these tales, makes connections with people and lives an ordinary life by the heart of the river and at the foot of the mountain [poetic license here]. Élyse may be his only constant by then, but their relation isn’t as close as it would be today. She too would come and go but she’d be the only one coming and going as frequently and because she too does not age like a regular human, ét would assume that’s the standard. The others who come and go don’t necessarily come back so he’d think little of it – or he’d see them again Much Later, so Clearly It’s Fine.

He isn’t aware of a bigger role he may or may not have just yet.

There would have been other “avatars” of the first nations groups that would come and go and they would have traded stories with étienne as well and that would be how he would get the cartiertales from the St-Laurent Iroquoians [who are, according to history, the group that happened to be there when Cartier showed up]

For now, étienne without knowing is like the personification of the Meeting Spot where everyone meets up. He has a connection to the spot but he’s still unaware of his raison d’être. Of course, he yearns for a sense of belonging, but whenever a group comes over for a bit and he thinks this might be it, it turns out that it’s not.

Eventually, by the time the Mohawks come and settle on the territory, they would be the first group that would make an actual real connection with Étienne and like invite him to join them. And seeing as Étienne has longed to belong to a Group, he’d join. Also since they seemed to actually want to stay in a more permanent way and not just – well growing seasons done so long and thanks for all the fish.

Étienne equally being a quick study of languages would also pick up really quickly and he’d fit in nicely with the Mohawks who could see potential in him/him being an asset.

It would be around these times that he’d start to realise that people around him – that he’d met just a few years back – that were just like him what feels like the other day – are changing when he isn’t. And it’s prolly around then that he realises he’s different from the others in his community and question why. The answers he gets aren’t satisfactory, but he grins and bears it and keeps searching for Others Like Him and he wonders if maybe those others whod swapped stories with him before, with warnings and caution knew something he didn’t.

The interesting thing with PAC as well is that they’ve done this thing a few years back called the Memory Collector – collections of memories and whatnot from people who’ve come and gone through Montreal from the og Montréalistes to current immigrants and everything in between. So Étienne being the actual Collector of Memories through people coming and going and telling him their stories is like – perfect.

He’d move around with the Mohawks and it would be the first time he’d feel as though he’d belong to a group so he’d associate with them as an identity.

In my humble opinion, my thoughts have always been that when Maisonneuve and co arrived and tried to get a village started, étienne, being the curious being he’s always been, woulda been intrigued by these newcomers and would have wanted to see how they lived compared to him and the people in his community. Also, with Maisonneuve and Co wanting to get a village started in like his area he woulda been like well hello neighbours! Come, come, here is the land! Enjoy!! So, he would’ve prolly wanted the others of his community to do the same and want Maisonneuve and Co to welcome the ways of his people as well. In his mind he doesn’t understand why these two groups – and others – can’t get along and just live peacefully together. He’s seen enough bloodshed and it’s Exhausting. He much rather have those evenings of trading stories and having a good time.

Also, an interesting note is that Cartier mostly just came, saw left-ish compared to Maisonneuve who was like “aight, let us live here Permanently” that changed the dynamics and also pulled at Étienne who again was like I Want Friends.

In the og village of Maisonneuve and his Montréalistes [yes, that’s what they were called at the time] there were different first nations ppl who decided to live with Maisonneuve and Co. So it’s not always easy to be like ah yes, étienne woulda belonged to X and Y. Hence this rambly mess.

Obviously and unfortunately, there were way too many conflicts btwn Maisonneuve and Co and the first nations folks and that would upset étienne who woulda wanted all groups to get along. In his opinion there were many resources for all to live happily. The Grande Paix de Montréal [1701] would have given him Hope TM that things could settle down once and for all.

On a side note, before Maisonneuve and Co arrived, Étienne would have not used the name Étienne. That would come post colonisation but I’m not sure when. At the time he would go by Tiohtià:ke.

In the early days of Ville Marie ét woulda still been more “first nations” than “bonjour I am now a Montréaliste” but he woulda offered his services/employment to Maisonneuve as a voyageur after a bit, because on top of errthing else ét woulda been hella intrigued by the idea of exploring the world and the fact that there were people who crossed the big ocean and who lived so completely differently from anyone hed ever known woulda boggled his mind and also to get away from the hot mess of conflicts going on. He woulda thought the Grande Paix would have brought back the earlier trading hub/story swap vibes, but too many bloody conflicts he was tired of made him want to get a change of pace. Plus the fact that now he felt Attached to Groups so no longer needed to just Wait. And also the fact that said Groups were Not Getting Along would have made him want to Leave.

After a while of that, around [18XX] he woulda settled in the city and like been a merchant of sorts. [im still working on the notes and details, but he’d get tired of the trips and the conditions and it wasnt just go out and have fun and explore but there were too many issues as well and he just – wanted to have a good time, really, so hed go back to the city and change again]

By the 19th century, whatever ties with his og first nations roots he had woulda been completely washed away by the colonisation of the island – especially by what is now the old port/ville marie and he would have tried Real Hard to Fit In because of his curiosity and wanting to live like these european folk and because of how shite the first nations were being treated. George-Étienne Cartier would have been an Aspiration of his and someone he would have modeled himself after [way of life, personality, etc]

By that time he would also consider himself as French and first nation (Mohawk) as a second and maybe even third thought. Equally, compared to some other avatars, I feel like Étienne would have “lost himself” and is now unfortunately more disconnected from his OG first nation roots than others might (think Ed). The colonisation + the large amount of euros that came to MTL would have given him whiplash for years and would have been like a tidal wave over his head. All of a sudden the village boomed, it was a city and there were more of these french cathos than anything else.

For a good part of the 19th and 20thcentury, he would have identified as Catholic and French with very little regard to his first nation roots. The og village of Ville Mariewould now be an actual thriving and important city and offering more opportunities for growth to him/suddenly MTL city is super relevant. He’d get swept up by the fast pace and the “glamour” and pretty words and it was easier to just go with the flow than to fight. He’s always been someone of good times and parties and of celebrations over everything else and obviously it wasn’t always easy for everyone in the city, but it certainly is when you know the right people and you’re on the up and up as an Important City.

Post Oka crisis (1990s), I think he would have started lowkey thinking about his first nation roots again. Mostly because the crisis shoved it in everyone’s faces in a big way that hadn’t been heard in a Long Time. And maybe slowly slowly like veeeerrry slowly reconnecting. But feeling v lost and overwhelmed by it bcs is that even still him? Was that ever even him? And if not then what the heck even bcs thats like centuries of his life just – forgotten and lost. But to a point he’d also relate with the immigrants who’d come to his city and then feel alienated from their og roots. And then also like even going back to it it’s not even what it was Before, because the Mohawks changed over the centuries as well [duh] as most groups do. Like with any language and expressions and fashions and such from any place.

Eventually at some point in the 21st century he would reconnect more and make his own amends with his identity and the multiple facets it has as well as coming to terms with certain events that happened btwn the euros and first nations over the centuries. The Catholic identity would peter down post 1970s, but the french id would stay even though he likes the multicultural aspect. Theres just something about being a little shit and also being Different in a Sea of Same, etc

In the end, he would attach himself to being Mohawk + French origins since those two would really be the two first groups that gave him a sense of like “belonging” in their own way. [And, obvi he’d belong to the queer community lamao]

Literally coulda just answered your ask with: Mohawk, French, Queer Lamao bit I turned this into a Thing TM oupsee.

And I totes hope this actually Answered the Question and you didn’t mean something completely different LAMAO

[a-gromova]

Berlin long-post

Guys, this will be a very long post. VERY. Perhaps it will be something like an essay.

For the first time in many years, I can clearly say what level I like in the game (I can just as clearly name my favorite location only in the first season). Yes, I want to talk about Berlin (are there people who were left indifferent to the level?). I just want to express my thoughts, which came to my mind during the walkthrough. This is partly an attempt to piece together a puzzle of information about the characters (47, Grey, Olivia, Diana), which is diluted with screenshots. I would be glad if you read it and express your opinion. Maybe you will correct me or, on the contrary, supplement my words, because the stream of thoughts can take me completely in the wrong place.

Spoiler territory begins, so be careful. Well, in general, everything is the same as always: if you are too lazy to read, you can look at dicks pics, they are pretty good (I think).

For me, Berlin is Hieronymus Bosch in its purest form. The level is disgusting inside and out (and I say this in a positive way). This include the oppressive atmosphere of emptiness, the behavior of agents, dialogues, the very environment of the club. It's all so nauseous, so... unnecessary. But it attracts. Bosch. Bosch in its purest form. This captivates me. This is the dirt you want to plunge into.

We begin the level in a ringing void, in which the beating of the heart is heard like a bell. I still haven't decided for myself whether it's a heart beating of 47 or not, but MY heart seemed to be beating in unison with it. And as soon as the club appears on the horizon, the beat of the heart flows into a musical beat. It's great. I don't know about you, but I'm delighted.

During the first walkthrough I immediately wondered: who killed this poor fellow? And now it seems to me that it was Olivia. Especially when you consider that the corpse is close to the gas station and in the phone conversation she, shivering, reports that she SEEMS to have killed one of the agents. Why ''SEEMS''? Because, obviously, the injury was non-lethal. We can ''read'' it on the corpse: the knife is stuck in the left shoulder. Sloppy, as if in a rush /chase. The injury is not lethal, but the guy had a hard time. Perhaps he died of blood loss much later.

I was obsessed with an idea that we need to find targets ourselves. Previously Diana did it for us, but "she can't help us now". First, I was confused. But later my mood was like ''HOW COOL IT IS''. I don't know why some ppl consider ICA agents as not remarkable. Guys, c'mon, I didn't even immediately realize that there are more than 5 of them, and they are all different! Each has its own position, undercover role, manner of speech. The agents are amazingly described, and for me they stand in the same rate with Tamara Vidal now (an insanely smart and interesting woman).

Have you ever seen Montgomery??? It's just FDIFSDJFKJFDKFLDKFLJSL. Such a DICK. Too bad 47 just kicked the table. It could be a way better if 47 low the table on agent's head and jump on the top of it. Smth like a control shot jump. Such a disgusting character... I hope that he just compensates his small penis with his speeches, because I just wanted to break his face for what he'd say.

I think you've already understand what exactly pissed me off in his speech. Yeah, the mention of Grey.

Aaaaand let's smoothly move on to this. Now I want to step back a little from the discussion of Berlin itself and say something to everyone who had a hard time going through the scene after Dartmoor. Yes, Lucas was my light, my sunshine and my motivation to play over the past years. Yes, his death was a shock (such a shock that I said "fuck" and turned off the game after 47 appears near the gas station). But I do not like being sad for a long time. Like... SAD.

Listen. Listen. It would be bad if after death the character disappeared from everywhere forever. THAT would be crap. It would be bad if there was not a single mention of him in the game after his death. But... Berlin, Mendoza, that fcking train. We learn A LOT of information about Grey here, which complements his portrait. C'mon! Chechnya, guard's and agent's whispering. Yes, damn it, they are afraid of him. If 47 is a legend, almost a myth, then Grey seems to be the real incarnation of the devil for them. I repeat, they are afraid of him. Otherwise I don’t know why a huge well-armed group was send to capture him (which walks on the train in sapper armor). I just listened to all these dialogues with a malicious smile and was like hehehe dats mah boiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

After all, the character is still in the fandom, the fandom has no end, everyone in it is alive and happy. So, Lucas, lie down, do not twitch, and I will bring hydrogen peroxide and a first aid kit.

If you don't call me the best psychologist after that, just don't talk to me ever again.There is so much shit in life, no need to be sad in such a good fandom. Just DON'T.

Let's return to Berlin. Or rather to Rolf, the owner of the club. From the dialogues we understand that he knew Grey for a long time. At first I even thought that it was Rolf who gave 47 and Grey motorcycles. These ones:

But then I quickly realized that I had problems with geography, and there was simply no point in bringing bikes from Germany to England. By the way, an interesting point: in my mind bike doesn't fit 47. Any expensive and stylish car - yes. Lucas is the opposite. The bike fits him, but the car is not.

I don't know what kind of "business" they had there. But if you consider that Grey already had experience working with the Delgado's drug cartel (and Rolf, for a moment, has a cocaine warehouse in a club), this "business" could be is somewhat similar to a mutually beneficial partnership with Rico.

And the very dialogue between Montgomery and Rolf hints us what could have happened if the one man didn't die, you know. And that's cool too. "To help him and two friends out to... well, slip away". As I understand it, this is about the so-called "Team Grey" (Lucas, 47, Olivia). And after Dartmoor everyone was supposed to meet in the safehouse in Berlin. It was an ideal plan, if the Constant hadn't found Diana and Grey. The only question is what would they do next. Planning to capture Edwards again, based on the dossier we've took from Carlisle?

Hell, I love IO because they leave a huge part of the plot just in the dialogues, which makes the game extremely replayable. And every time you pass a level you just oh. OH! This allows players make their own guesses and put the puzzle together. Not to mention the little things that are just scattered around the location. At first I THOUGHT I saw Florida Man. Then I realized that it is not my imagination. This guy is generally the best flexer:

I will end the essay with a comparison of 47 and the club logo. 

I love that the mission is called "Apex Predator" and the bikers' emblem bears Fenrir, an alpha predator from north myths that devours the sun. It is he who begins Ragnarok - the end of the world. It seems to me that this is a direct allegory to 47. It is in Berlin that his bloody procession begins, which puts an end to this story. But damn it, how nice to watch this end of the world.

That's it, I've already said a lot. Let me summarize briefly: 47 - alpha predator Lucas - lie down and don't move, I'm already going with a first aid kit Olivia - keep it up Diana - queen Montgomery - dick

[adorpheus]

on fujoshi and fetishization

Lately, more and more, both here on tumblr and on other sites, I keep seeing people spew unfiltered hatred at fujoshi - that is, women who like mlm content such as gay fanfic and fanart featuring men with other men. And I don’t mean like a specific type of fujoshi, like the ones who are genuinely being weird about it, but just like a general hatred for girls (but especially straight identifying girls) who express love for gay romance.

I hate to break this to you all, but women (including straight women!) actually are allowed to like mlm fanfiction and fanart, even enthusiastically so. A woman simply expressing her love of gay fanfic, even if it is in kind of a cringey way or a way that you personally don’t like, is NOT automatically fetishization.

I’ve been on the receiving end of fetishization for my entire life, from a very young age, as many black and brown folx have, so I consider myself pretty well acquainted with how it works. Fetishization isn’t just like, being really into drawings of boys kissing, or whatever the fuck y’all are trying to imply on this god forsaken site. 

Fetishization is complicated imo, and can encompass a lot of things, such as (but not limited to):

1 - dehumanization, e.g. viewing a group of people as sexual objects who exist purely for entertainment purposes, rather than acknowledging them as actual people who deserve respect and rights

and

2 - projecting certain assumptions onto said people based on their race/sexuality/whatever is being fetishized. These assumptions are often, but not always, sexual in nature (like the idea that black people in general are more sexual than other races, etc etc etc).

I’m going to use myself as an example to illustrate my point. Please note this isn’t the best or most nuanced example, but it is the most simplistic. A white person finding me attractive and respectfully appreciating my black features as part of what makes me beautiful is not, on its own, fetishization. A white person finding me attractive solely or mostly because I’m a PoC is now in fetishization territory. Similarly, assuming I’m dominant because of my blackness (like saying “step on me mommy” and shit like that) is hella fetishistic. 

That being said, theres definitely a difference between how fetishization works in real life with real people, and how it shows up in fandom. 

Fetishization manifests in many different ways in fandom, but most commonly on the mlm side of things, I personally see it appear as conservative (or centrist) women who love the idea of two men together, but don’t actually like gay people, and don’t necessarily think LGBT+ people deserve rights (or “special treatment” as its sometimes dog whistled). These women view queer men as sexual objects for entertainment rather than an actual group of people who deserve to be protected from systemic oppression. I’ve noticed that they often don’t even think of the men they “ship” together as actually being gay, and may even express disgust at the idea of a character in an mlm ship being headcanon’d gay. In case its not obvious, this is pretty much exactly the same way a lot of cishet men fetishize lesbians (they see “lesbian” as a porn category, rather than like, what actual LGBT people think of when we read the word lesbian). There’s a pretty popular viral tweet thread going around where someone explains seeing this trend of conservative women who like mlm stuff, and I have also personally witnessed this phenomenon myself in more than one fandom. 

The funny thing is, maybe its just me buuuut.... The place I see this particular kind of fetishization happen most is not in the anime/BL fandom, from which the term fujoshi originates - I actually see these type of women way way more in western fandom spaces like Supernatural, Harry Potter, and Hannibal. I can’t stress this enough, there’s a shocking amount of people who are like, straight up trump supporters in these fandoms. If you want to experience it, try joining a Hannigram or Destiel group on facebook and you will probably encounter one eventually especially if you happen to be living through a major historical event. Like these women probably wouldn’t even be considered “fujoshi”, because that term doesn’t really apply to them given they aren’t in the BL/anime fandom, yet they’re the ones I personally see actually doing the most harm.

Of course this isn’t the ONLY kind of fetishizing woman in the mlm/BL world, there are other ways fetishization shows up, but this is the most toxic kind that I see.

A girl just being really into BL or whatever may be “cringe” to you, or she may be expressing her love for BL in a “cringey” way, but a straight woman really enjoying BL is not, on its own, somehow inherently fetishization. Yes, sometimes teenage girls act kind of cringe about how much they like BL and that might be annoying to you, but its not necessarily ~problematic~. 

That being said, IT NEEDS BE REMARKED that a lot of the “fujoshi” that you all hate so deeply, are actually closeted trans men or nonbinary people who haven’t yet come to terms with their gender identity, or are otherwise just NOT cishet. I know because I was one of these closeted people for years, and I honestly think tumblr and the cultural obsession around purity is one of the many reasons I was closeted so deeply for so long. STORYTIME LOL!!! In my early adolescence, I was a sort of proto “fujoshi”. I identified as a bi girl who was mostly attracted to men, or as most (biphobic) people called it, “practically straight”. I wrote and read “slash” fanfic and looked at as well as drew my own fanart. We didn’t use the term fujoshi back then, but that’s definitely how I could have been described. I was obsessed with yaoi, BL, whatever you want to call it, to a cringe-inducing degree. I really struggled to relate to most het romances, so when I first discovered yaoi fanfics (as we called them at the time), I fell in love and felt like I finally found the type of romance content that was made for me. I didn’t know exactly why, I just knew it hit different. LGBT+ fanart and fanfiction brought me an immense amount of joy, and I didn’t really think too hard about why.

At some point, in my early 20s, after reading lots of discourse™ here on tumblr and other places like twitter, I started to get the sinking feeling that my passion for gay fanfiction was ~problematic~. I had always felt a sense of guilt for being into mlm content, because literally anyone who found out I liked BL (especially the men I dated) shamed me for liking it all the fucking time (which btw is literally just homophobic, like can we talk about that?). In addition to THAT bullshit, now I’m seeing posts telling me that girls who like BL are cringey gross fetishists who inspire rage and should go die? 

Let me tell you, I internalized the fuck out of messages like this. I desperately wanted to avoid being ~problematic~. At the time, I thought being problematic was like the worst thing you could be. I was terrified of being “cancelled”, before canceling was even really a thing. I thought to myself, “oh my god, I’m gross for liking this stuff? I should stop.” I beat myself up over this. I wanted so badly to be accepted, and to be deemed a Good Person by the internet and society at large.

I tried to shape up and become a good ally (lmfao). I stopped writing fanfic and deleted all the ones I was working on at the time. I made a concerted effort to assimilate into cishet culture, including trying to indulge myself more deeply in the few fandoms I could find that had het content I did enjoy (Buffy, True Blood, Pretty Little Liars, etc). I would occasionally look at BL/fanfic/etc in private, but then I would repress my interest in it and not look for a while. Instead I would look at women in straight relationships, and create extremely heterosexual Couple Goals pinterest boards, and try to figure out how I could become more like these women, so I, too, could be loved someday. 

This cycle of repression lasted like eight years. Throughout it all, I was performing womanhood to the best of my ability and trying to become a woman that was worthy of being in a relationship. I went in and out of several “straight” relationships, wondering why they didn’t make me feel the way reading fanfic did. Most of all, I couldn’t figure out why straight intimacy didn’t work for me. I just didn’t enjoy it. I always preferred looking at or making gay fanfiction/fanart over actual intimacy with men in real life. 

Eventually, I stumbled upon a trans coming out video that someone I was following posted online, my egg started to crack, and to make an extremely long story short, after like 3 years of introspection and many gender panic attacks that I still experience to this day, I realized that I’m uh... MAYBE... NOT CIS..!? :|

I truly believe if I had just been ALLOWED TO LIKE GAY STUFF WITHOUT BEING SHAMED FOR IT, I probably would have realized I was trans way way sooner. Because for me, indulging in my love of gay romance and writing gay fanfic wasn’t me being a weirdo fetishist, it was actually me exploring my own gender identity. It is what helped me come to terms with being a nonbinary trans boy.

Not everyone realizes they are trans at age 2 or whatever the fuck. Sometimes you have to go through a cringey fujoshi phase and multiple existential crises to realize how fucking gay you are AND THATS FINE.

And one more thing - can we just be real here? 

A lot of anti-fujoshi sentiment is literally just misogyny. omg please realize this. Its “women aren’t allowed to enjoy things” but, like... with gay fanfics. Some of the anti-fujoshi posts I see come across my dash are clearly ppl projecting a caricature they invented in their head of a demonic fujoshi fetishist onto any woman who expresses what they consider to be a little too much enthusiasm for gay content and then using their perception of that individual as an excuse to justify their disdain for any women, especially straight women, ‘invading’ their ~oh so exclusive~ queer fandom spaces.

 god get over yrselfs this is gatekeeping by another name

idk why i spent so long writing this no one is even going to read it, does anyone even still use this site

*EDIT: HOLY SHIT WHEN DOING RESEARCH FOR THIS POST I FOUND OUT THAT Y-GALLERY IS BACK OMG!!! 

[angeltrapz]

SAW ASK!!!!!! 💞 n ee wayz as far as Eric/Adam goes i wld love to hear yr thoughts on how their relationship looks @ th very beginning when Eric still v v fresh in his recovery (obvs we’ve talked a lil abt this both but expandin on stuff), n also u mentioned Eric knowing how to bake (at least some things) n id LOVE to hear more abt that!! also for a general SAW polycule question, just bc it’s a dynamic i don’t think either of us have rlly touched on, thoughts on William + Mallick?

SAW ASK!!! (tysm!! <3)

okay so Eric/Adam:

I rly like th idea u had where they meet at one of Bobby’s groups (also throwing in tht I think abt Group Therapy All The Time) bc like. neither of them want to be there, neither of them rly have much in common w any other survivors, n neither of them can stand Bobby Dagen. so tht’s still like, th foundation fr how these 2 meet to me lol. the idea of them listening 2 him talk while rolling their eyes at each other n fake gagging is So Good.

I feel like Adam is just... rly open? w Eric? bc god does he understand how fucking hard it is 2 be around ppl after smth like that - maybe not to the same extent (though they DO have tht solidarity), but like. there’s only so many times u can hear “I’m so sorry tht happened/I can only imagine what u went thru” b4 yr ready 2 just tell ppl to shut the fuck up. so like, on Eric’s side of things, not getting tht frm Adam? not hearing the whole “I’m rly sorry u almost lost yr son and were locked up fr six months”? tht’s foreign territory ENTIRELY 2 him. sorry is all anyone has to say, even other survivors. Adam not saying sorry n instead being like “well I’m glad yr still around” is kind of what makes tht decision in Eric’s head like, yes, I think I want 2 get to know this dude. He Gets It.

n Adam is just patient too. letting Eric come 2 him, making sure he knows he’s there, tht sorta thing, bc regardless of how much he likes Adam, being around ppl again is not smth he can just jump into. it’s a wound tht is still raw n open n aching n he needs to treat it w care instead of rubbing salt in. n Eric half expects tht to turn Adam away, esp when he sometimes goes a day w no communication, but it doesn’t n he’s just sorta like ??? bc Eric never rly... saw some1 making tht kind of accommodation fr him, never expected some1 to understand it. tht’s another region I feel they’re very similar in - contact, sometimes, can b very very hard, even over text. if they don’t speak all day, tht’s okay - they send each other “i’m okay” texts n th other person responds w “good” n tht’s fine. Adam provides compromises when Eric never even knew tht was a possibility. it’s good.

things progress kinda slowly but not in a bad way. they’re just kind of getting used 2 each other - both of them have been alone fr so long, having some1 in their lives tht they give a shit abt n who gives a shit abt them is smth they’re both navigating. fr Eric, it’s being around some1 consistently after his trap. fr Adam, it’s actually having a friend who doesn’t make him feel like shit + having some1 he can definitively say is there. sometimes its easier 2 sit in comfortable silence than it is to force a convo neither of thm rly have the energy fr. sometimes just being in a room together is enough. tht’s smth they both notice - tht it’s like. they find it easy 2 be around each other. which is SO foreign to both of thm so they’re just kinda feelin it out?

n again like u’ve written b4, I also feel one of th turning points is when Eric calls Adam abt his hair + Adam shaves it fr him in his bathroom. tht’s th point where they’re both like “oh, I rly care abt this person.” bc it’s three in th fucking morning, Adam didn’t even have 2 pick up his phone or even answer when he saw it was Eric. but he did, bc he cares, bc he wants to help, n Adam’s just kinda freaking out internally too bc it’s been a looong time since he’s felt tht way abt some1 - he just wants Eric 2 be okay. n it’s then tht he’s kinda like, coming 2 terms w th fact that he truly cares abt someone who he can say without a doubt cares abt him too and it’s just like. oof. ESP when Eric sleeps over bc again, it’s early as fuck, and isn’t it so much easier 2 just have him stay? isn’t it easier fr Adam to make space fr Eric in his bed n home n heart? n Eric actually doesn’t tell Adam abt this later, but tht night he sleeps over after Adam shaves his hair? it’s th best he’s slept in fucking weeks.

I feel like after tht they’re a LOT more comfortable w each other - not tht they weren’t b4; I mean in th sense tht when they’re not doing too great, they’ll reach out 2 each other rather than bottling it up n dealing w it alone. Adam comes over w CDs he likes bc he can’t talk abt it but he doesn’t want 2 be by himself n they sit in Eric’s living room together in comfortable silence. sometimes Eric sings 2 him. they both find tht it helps. Eric becomes more accustomed 2 accepting help when he knows he needs it + Adam offers - dimming th lights n staying close by to keep him frm getting another migraine, having th TV on but w the sound down low enough tht it doesn’t feel like some1′s hitting him over th head w too-loud dialogue, getting things fr him on th days tht his nerve pain flares up n he’s mostly confined 2 his bed. they’re there fr each other. this is what friendship looks like fr them, two Jigsaw survivors who understand each other better than any1 else ever could.

another huge step fr them is like, th first time Adam offers 2 help w Eric’s rashes. I feel like, even as they grow closer, tht’s still not smth he’s vocal abt/comfortable showing often, something he’s ashamed of bc he feels like it’s gross n he doesn’t want 2 like. make Adam deal w that. but like during one of their sleepovers where Adam cuts his hair fr him n Eric’s got his shirt off he just. grabs the ointment he knows Eric keeps in th cabinet above the sink n while Eric’s still sitting w his back to him, he wordlessly begins tending 2 the rash spread along Eric’s shoulders n his neck n back, n Eric just. freezes. Adam doesn’t say anything, just does it fr him, n Eric kinda. Breaks Down a lil bit. like he just starts silently sobbing bc Adam doesn’t have 2 do this. he doesn’t have to help him w one of th things Eric hates most abt his own body. he could think it’s Gross. but he doesn’t think it’s gross n he doesn’t mind touching it and he’s so gentle when applying the ointment n then when he’s done he just kind of leans against Eric’s back bc He Knows. he reaches around front n grabs one of Eric’s hands n just sits there w him while he cries it out, holding his hand 2 say I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere, n that is MAJOR fr Eric. and honestly? tht’s kind of th first time he Rly becomes aware of “oh fuck I love him.” (Adam too, ngl)

basically, the way it starts is a shared experience, smth no one else can rly say they have, an understanding based on tht shared experience. giving each other space until they begin inviting each other in. care, patience, “I’m here.” re-learning th feeling of mutual concern. somewhere along th way, it turns into love, and somehow falling into tht is just as easy.

-

Eric + baking:

YES I love this hc!! this is smth he picked up during his time btwn jobs during th earlier stages of recovery (but After meeting Adam/connecting w Art) bc he needed smth to do n was just sorta like, “well I guess this works huh?” n like. it was def a learning curve bc Eric can cook, relatively well/at least okay, but baking is a entirely different matter. at frst he was kinda discouraged when things didn’t turn out th way he hoped they would, but w gentle guidance on Art’s side n enthusiastic encouragement frm Adam, he stuck w it n has gotten pretty good as a result!! his fave things 2 make r peanut butter cookies (he does a little design on th top w a fork n both Adam + Art r like Oh My God That’s Adorable) + th aforementioned carrot cake cupcakes!! frosting is usually homemade n it’s usually cream cheese! he makes his own frosting fr cakes n stuff too (Constantly has 2 tell Adam to “keep yr hands off of th frosting/batter/dough! we’re not gonna have any left!!!” even tho tht Doesn’t stop him).

he makes rly good banana bread too! tht one was a lil harder 2 learn but he’s honestly pretty proud of it now. it’s so funny bc Adam typically doesn’t like stuff like tht but if Eric made it? oh it’s Amazing. (he’s like tht w Art’s cooking too kjdfhjs partially bc he is a Disaster in th kitchen, but also bc That’s His BF/Best Friend!!!)

if some1 is feeling particularly shitty he takes requests (Adam usually wants brownies + Art is partial 2 peanut butter cookies but w chocolate chips too) n it’s just a nice lil thing he can do 2 help, which is smth he Always wants to do. he also stress bakes tho so sometimes his bfs have 2 just kinda like check in n make sure he’s doing okay. but! yeah baking is smth he enjoys + is relatively good at!!

-

William/Mallick dynamic:

yr right I haven’t thought abt this dynamic much but I Am Now!!!

I feel like at his core, William is def a caretaker. Mallick, 2 me, is someone who is just wholly unfamiliar w being cared for. so like, at the Very Least, they’re both dating Adam + Lawrence, right? they spend a lot of time around each other. plenty enough time fr William 2 pick up on this. it just kinda. makes his heart hurt, bc he sees the unease in Mallick’s eyes every time one of thm performs even th smallest acts of kindness fr him - not bc he doesn’t appreciate it/doesn’t want it, but because it’s more that he feels like he doesn’t deserve it. n William Sees That and is just like. I Need U To Know You’re Loved.

they’re comfortable w each other, of course they are! they’re friends, good friends, who happen 2 be dating th same people! who go to bed together at night n wake up w each other in th morning. it’s love, they know tht, but Mallick still always looks so surprised when William makes waffles fr him fr breakfast. William cares.

n Mallick can kinda feel it, and he’s not resistant 2 it, but he’s definitely on edge abt it a little. but William also just has this air abt him that Mallick finds it hard to stay keyed up in, so it doesn’t rly take long fr Mallick to at least be at peace w William’s attention. but the moment he starts to really fathom it is during one of those days he can’t get himself 2 relax n is just shaking out on the couch, knees drawn up to his chest n his arm wrapped around thm, just kinda staring down at th carpet n just Not having the energy to get himself out of his own head. Lawrence + Adam r at work n Eric is taking a quick nap so it’s just Mallick n William.

so Mallick is sitting there spiraling n his breaths r coming out a little fast n William just sits down beside him, a mug of warm tea tht he sets down on th coffee table fr a moment, n he just rests a hand on Mallick’s shoulder. doesn’t say anything, just sort of like. offers tht bridge, opens tht avenue. n Mallick is like This Close to just breaking entirely, but what rly does it is when William just swipes his thumb over his shoulder n squeezes. n Mallick rly DOES break down, almost ugly-sobbing and wheezing, n somehow he ends up w his face in William’s neck, pretty much curled into his side, n tht’s when it truly hits him how much William cares abt him too. tht there are Several People who hold tht kind of room fr him in their hearts n lives. William didn’t even have 2 say anything fr Mallick to understand that, to know it as truth. n tht’s like, one of th events tht actually leads Mallick to building up tht self-esteem, knowing that.

n after tht happens, Mallick is a little less reluctant abt accepting William’s (+ everyone else’s!) help, at least some of the time. like Mallick will catch himself digging his fingers a lil too harshly into th stump of his arm (I’m w u on 10 Pints resulting in at least a partial amputation - like what was tht little scar in 3D???) n then he’ll feel William’s hand cover his n gently curl around his palm 2 be like “I’m not gonna say anything, but I see you, it’s okay,” n his grip relaxes. Eric will notice he’s working himself up too much n he’ll reach out n take one of his hands while he’s pacing + laces their fingers together so tht Mallick has to pause a moment n then he’s able to breathe. Lawrence stumbles across him in th midst of a panic attack n Mallick finds himself breathing easier when Lawrence takes one of his hands, places it over his chest + his heart, n breathes w him. Adam holds him when he jolts awake frm a nightmare. lil things like tht.

one of their fave things to help them both de-stress is they’ll lay in bed n William will read out loud to Mallick, who has his head on his chest n is listening but doesn’t have to put too much energy into keeping up, bc it’s mostly abt being close + having smth to fill the silence tht neither of them feel particularly comfortable in anymore. sometimes Mallick falls asleep n it honestly makes William rly happy bc not only is Mallick relaxed enough to actually close his eyes, he also trusts William enough to fall asleep around him, trusts him during a time he’s at his most vulnerable. it’s not uncommon fr Lawrence to get home frm work to find th two of them curled up against th pillows, sometimes both asleep or just Mallick while William continues reading silently and brushes his fingers thru Mallick’s hair. Adam def has a pic of them like tht somewhere, hung up on th cork board Art had bought specifically fr those kinds of photos. it’s smth easy tht doesn’t really require much energy + has the added bonus of just being close to n held by someone u love n who loves u.

and they help each other. sometimes William has a rly hard time looking at himself, the days where his guilt sits heavy in his chest n doesn’t seem 2 want to anywhere, n Mallick will just sit w him outside on th porch swing and just Be There bc it’s like. “I’m here, I want to b here, Jigsaw was wrong, you are not a terrible person, u did what u could w what u had and I love you,” in a single action. I think William also struggles, like u’ve mentioned tht Eric does, w th guilt of what happened + feeling like it was his fault. so Mallick sitting w him, their shoulders brushing, fr William it’s like, if he was truly as awful a person as John seemed 2 think he was, wld Mallick be this close? wld Mallick willingly lay down beside him some nights n kiss him good morning? wld he kiss him again on th cheek after he makes a fresh pot of coffee + pancakes? n William knows tht Mallick wouldn’t keep himself so close if John was right, so it’s like. proof of tht. n tht means a lot to William. sometimes tht’s all he needs.

they don’t have 2 deal w their struggles alone. they’re both surrounded by ppl who love them n want to see them do well - it’s only natural they feel tht way abt each other, too.

[coralsgrimes]

Does everyone agree 11:11 was about her? She started posting her 11 crap after people found that post of her and her ex husband and started trolling them with it. Isn’t that why some people still held onto hope that she was just trolling them back? I think there’s a very active group or person that’s very sure everything is about her but I remember when her 11 stuff started happening and people on sohoharlem thought it was obvious she was trying to piss off his stalker fans. So depends on who you ask I guess *shrugs

Quick recap! Might have missed a lot but i’m tired ;c just lemme know if i fucked the shit up!

It all started with that fucking Backgrid walk of shame in April 2020, then cue to Benny’s sad songs when she was reconciling with Brooksy and then to Montana. Another pap walk, this time even press smells shit, like whoever decided to pick small ppl like them but they did, hinting that they were mingling probably back when she was still Ms Brooksy. Then in March there was a possible break-up annnnd after a while, in the summer, folks noticed the teeny tiny emojis and were like wtf, then other folks were like yeee it’s actually been going on for a while now! Fairies, sunflowers, beating hearts and lion faces all summer long. THEN oh no Benny Boy started to post the misteryyyy clueless uuuuuoooouuuu only posting around 11:11 (evening/morning, he was so into it that later people were able to predict the time zones he was at because of it), then he posted the cryptic photo with watch at 11:11 and added what time it is?? Or something like that. Jules shared the 11:11 locket necklace pic and added ‘it’s time’... People guessed he will announce an album that will come out on 11th November or that there is an engagement announcement coming cuz she had the necklace on xd Sooo yeee they started the shit, not the fans. Fans noticed it all cuz they connected the dots that were clearly there. We still are not as far as 20th August at this point, the Brooksy pic is not doing big rounds yet. And the post was always there, no one accidentally found it, just another shit she never deleted… Tumblr got it much later later...

The pic was posted many times ON the 20th of August when he announced the 11:11 song, it was fitting af. Couple more folks picked it up then, so again, the pic started making rounds after they were playing the 11:11 games for a while, making people notice it even more… So everyone knew by then and Benny, as the smartest person in the room, named the song 11:11, a cherry on top of shit flavoured cake!

Jules obviously shared another pic on the day the song dropped but that was more or less a pissing contest and territory claiming since fangirls were quite enraged at that point, twitter was fuming!

The SH stuff, yee it all came to tumblr a lil bit late and mostly in pieces, i’m not following what they post as much. Sorry! Anyways, it was speculated on twitter/DL way before them. I found SH blog link on DL in August because people here got interested in the 11:11 shit when a lot of gossip made a lotta noise after the birthday announcement, and went looking for the connections. Some of them found Beyyn uglier parts, got angry and migrated to DL sharing the wealth both ways xd and not to be a cunt on main but tumblr is in the stage of Benny being a perfect man. Obviously, they always call shit like this trolling… Here on tumblr, it all was Jules’ and trolls’ fault, she uses him cuz of the Shadow and Bone me Daddy fame, Benny was never part of it, that's what they said. They were missing the part of the story where he was the one to start it. Dunno if ye as deep into the lore but he made a whole ass song about it!

Were they trolling? Maybe Jules was, recently. I can’t see how the trolling could benefit Benny (well known reasons lol with every new fairy queen appearance his fans get angrier and more disappointed), he never tried anything to stop it cuz it's still in full swing, he even enabled it! 40 years old man putting fairy emojis in his ig stories...

So maybe yess, depends on who ye ask but THEY started this shit, either for real or maybe in the sad delusion that no one will notice.

LOL THIS IS LONG AS FUCK x.x sorry my sweet feeble turtleducks <3

[igcse-history-revision]

causes for the start to ww1

5 main causes

imperial rivalry

anglo-german naval race

the moroccan crises

balkans crisis

assassination of franz ferdinand

imperial rivalry

european countries had built up empires

germany wanted to be a part of it

having a lot of territory made you rivals with other countries

raised tension and hostility

anglo-german naval race

kaiser wilhelm announced germany’s aim for a powerful navy in 1890’s

they had the most powerful navy at the time

britain didn’t like the idea of being challenged by germany

race to build a bigger navy than the other ensued

raised tension & hostility

both countries’ confidence soared

the moroccan crises

at the turn of the century, morocco was its own country, but neighbouring Algeria was under french control and was a big influence on them

the first moroccan crisis involved germany attempting to prevent the french gaining more control of morocco

germany backed down before war broke out

2nd moroccan crisis was when france sent troops to help the sultan prevent a rebellion

germany sent a gunboat to the port of agadir to stop them

the balkans crisis

the balkans are in south-east europe

complex area (many different ppl, languages, & ideas)

austria-hungary annexed bosnia in 1908

serbia - a neighbouring country - was angry

they wanted to annex bosnia

austria-hungary’s interference in the balkans made russia angry

built up tension & hostility like the others

opened the door for possible radical activities like… (speak abt assassination)

Opinion about the empire building and germanys wanting of a “place in the sun”

Theres a moment in one of my favourite shows that illustrates the tensions in morocco pretty well. It's a show called blackadder, and despite being a comedy, they teach some very interesting fthings about the great war. Heres a quote about the germanys territory building in morocco:

Lieutenant George : The war started because of the vile Hun and his villainous empire- building.

Captain Blackadder : George, the British Empire at present covers a quarter of the globe, while the German Empire consists of a small sausage factory in Tanganiki. I hardly think that we can be entirely absolved of blame on the imperialistic front.

This, although being a show in the in the 1980s, shows how some brits were conscious of the hypocrisy of britain restraining and prohibiting germany from creating an empire.

Well we’ve gotten this far explaining the causes of maybe how tensions arose, leading to the snapping point of the war starting but how did the war start then?

Well, blackadder has an interesting quote on this too.

Private Baldrick : I heard that it started when a bloke called Archie Duke shot an ostrich 'cause he was hungry.

Captain Blackadder : I think you mean it started when the Archduke of Austro-Hungary got shot.

Private Baldrick : Nah, there was definitely an ostrich involved, sir.

Captain Blackadder : Well, possibly. But the real reason for the whole thing was that it was too much effort not to have a war.

Yada yada, this and that, then the captain says

Captain Blackadder : You see, Baldrick, in order to prevent war in Europe, two superblocs developed: us brits, the French and the Russians on one side, and the Germans and Austro-Hungary on the other. The idea was to have two vast opposing armies, each acting as the other's deterrent. That way there could never be a war

Private Baldrick : But, this is a sort of a war, isn't it, sir?

Captain Blackadder : Yes, that's right. You see, there was a tiny flaw in the plan.

Private Baldrick : What was that, sir?

Captain Blackadder : It was bollocks.

This, although it was purely written for comedy, illustrates what happened pretty well. But no, how did the war start?

Well, the immediate cause for World War 1 was the assassination of the Archduke Franz Ferdinand and his pregnant wife Sophie in Sarajevo on 28th June 1914. Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria was the nephew of Emperor Franz Josef, and heir to the throne of Austria and Hungary. The assassination was planned by a Serbian terrorist group called The Black Hand and the man who shot Franz Ferdinand and his wife was a Bosnian revolutionary named Gavrilo Princip.

Because of this, Austria-Hungary threatened war on Serbia. Germany sided by Austria-Hungary, while Russia sided with the Serbians.

One month after the Archduke’s assassination- on July 28 1914- Austria-Hungary declared war on Serbia with the backing of Germany. Germany then declared war on Russia on August 1, and on France on August 3.

On the 4th of August, 1914, the German troops marched on France and the route they took went through Belgium. Since Britain was allied with Belgium, they saw this as an act of aggression, and immediately declared war on Germany.

[solitariusdeluna]

One really wonders who came first, Lily or Starrk? Is Lilynette the Little Sister Starrk always wished to protect? Or is Starrk the older Brother Lily never had to keep her safe? Or Was it something else entirely, and the original tore themselves into the perfect idea of a brother and sister that would never be apart? What's your own personal headcannon for Starrk and Lily's origin?

-rolls up sleeves and drinks a good gulp of coffee for this- okay!! i had this in the inbox for well over a month now and i need to share my thoughts because it’s about time to! first off, thank  you for sharing and second i hope you like what comes your way keeping in mind your vast knowhow of the bleach world, this is just my humble interpretation of how i see starrk and lily. so thank you for asking! ^^

i believe starrk came first because he’s the stronger of the two and i’m also partly weaving in your thoughts about him being a power hog was it? power in this sense being the energy and force for strength and not the whole wanting to be in control thing because that’s not him with how he doesn’t care for leadership roles with the way barragan wants to be king. anyhoo, he absorbs life force and strength more because of his selfless nature and also because he doesn’t want to burden lilynette with their collective being and that comes with it. 

so in a sense there he is being rather protective of her because it’s in his nature to be that way. but i don’t think she was the little sister he wished for. when their entire being existed there was countless souls of those they encountered that happened to be absorbed by said being. 

that being was so alone and wanted craved companionship so much that it grew mad with grief and wanting. and in that process the strongest being starrk emerged and the second strongest being lilynette also came into being. so yes it was an entirely different being that housed so many souls (because of the whole absorbing souls thing) which was an unfortunate side effect of its strength.

and now to answer my own personal hcs for starrk and lily’s origins. 

we start with Starrk first:

okay, so the song viva la vida greatly inspires my take on starrk and is my go to song when i need a little boost. mostly because when i first heard it at the inception of this blog it vibed with him so much. Certain muses of mine just click so well with a song and it becomes there’s (case and point kensei and remember the name).

some of the lyrics that apply: 

I used to rule the worldSeas would rise when I gave the wordNow in the morning, I sleep aloneSweep the streets I used to own

I believe starrk was a general and a mighty good one who was adored by the emperor and I was toying with the idea that he was someone pretty important back in Rome. He’s from that time period of Marcus Aurelius who was an awesome stoic (also where starrk got into the whole stoicism school of philosophy) and just emperor. Starrk who’s name back then was Marcellus Silvanus Janus. He was a farming family and hailed from what is now known as spain, and rose through the ranks of the military but deep down loved the land and always wanted to go back and retire there once he was done serving his great nation. Emperor Marcus loved Starrk  and considered him a valuable commander of his armies. He went out for his many expeditions and always came back victorious. Now, since the emperor was so fond of Marcellus, his character and prowess he wanted to make him his next in line. Marcellus (It is a name derived from Mars, the god of war. It means young warrior or hammer) Silvanus (This was the god of the forests) Janus (This was the god of new beginnings and openings. Janus is a perfect choice for parents whose child symbolises a new journey). 

Marcellus was proclaimed emperor of Rome while in the eastern provinces of the empire and was subsequently confirmed as such by the Senate; however, for the duration of his reign, he never had the opportunity to return to Rome. He had accepted the role after the emperor died much to his great reluctance since he knew how things were in that coveted seat of power and how it was such a headache with all the other power hungry people wanting it as well. He followed in his predecessor’s policies hoping to make the empire stronger by stabilizing it from its territories and not really focusing on Rome and that was his biggest mistake. 

I used to roll the diceFeel the fear in my enemy’s eyesListen as the crowd would singNow the old king is dead! Long live the king!

As emperor, Marcellus first attempted to enact reform to bring economic and diplomatic stability to Rome. His diplomatic actions brought about peace with each of the individual kingdoms, however the additional monetary costs and subsequent fiscal reforms generated unrest in the Roman military within the capital and the family of the former Emperor who weren’t too thrilled with him took advantage of this unrest by causing a rebellion with some young 15 year old son of the former emperor’s cousin proclaiming himself as emperor with support by those rebelling legions in Rome. Marcellus at the time was busy fighting a battle but fled the battlefield in order to try and reach Rome and quell all this mad but before he could. he received word of his family being captured and executed on their land and he had to go back just as he was in the outskirts of Rome to find them dead and his home burned to the ground. He buried his wife and son and returned to the capital. 

One minute I held the keyNext the walls were closed on meAnd I discovered that my castles standUpon pillars of salt and pillars of sand

Except he never made it to the capital and instead was captured in and later executed in Cappadocia. After his death, the Senate declared him and his son enemies of Rome and had their names struck from the records and their images destroyed and wiped from history. 

It was a wicked and wild windBlew down the doors to let me inShattered windows and the sound of drumsPeople couldn’t believe what I’d becomeRevolutionaries waitFor my head on a silver plateJust a puppet on a lonely string

Oh, who would ever want to be king?

Who would ever want to be king, true words buddy i mean after all that mess he’s been through (and even though he doesn’t remember it all but still... it’s more instinct and self preservation mechanics kicking in than memories of that past life) can you honestly blame a guy for being strong but not giving a crap about ruling? 

And that’s how be become a hollow while keeping in line with his whole fair and upright ideals and character. ah, originally i was heavily influenced to just take the gladiator’s maximus’ story and make it starrk’s and i told lainey as much. but as i was writing this now, it evolved into a part that and part something else. but anyway here we are. his tragic tale that made him a hollow. 

As for Lilynette, her story isn’t as fleshed out as starrk’s is but to ever so briefly summarise it; 

I think lily died at a young age maybe in medieval times and was born into a gypsy family and had relatively strong powers that were not understandable so her family had to move about a lot to protect her and were prolly the leaders of the group but the ppl in her gypsy group resented that they had to move around alot because of her and set up some trap for her which ended in her demise. So her strong soul emerged into its own presence.  

anyways, back to their original form. I also think their hollow was a collection of all those MOUNTAINS AND MOUNTAINS of souls that died because of it. But then starrk and lily were the ones who finally emerged from that soul collection and that starrk houses the burden of all those souls and power more than lily does. The souls are prolly every single entity that came their way when they were one being that was looking for companionship. @cxrvina also pointed out that this hc of mine helped to contextualise how starrk and lilynette are completely different ages, different genders and different personalities.  

special thanks to the lovely @cxrvina  who encouraged me to share my headcanons and gave me that boost to finally write all this down and extract it from my brain. 

I hope this answered all your questions and once again thank you for sending this character developing and deep thought provoking questions because they are so essential especially when a muse is new.

[visa0003]

Blackvelvet Fighter Au

So I've been obsessed with @incorreci-spaghetti 's fighter moodboards and this came out. I'm just gonna share some hc I have for it since I don't think I'll be writing it anytime soon.

Seulgi:

A bartender for a bar known for their more than hostile clients and their fights.

•Learning how to fight was basically on the employer's request.

•It was in one of the most brutal fights that she happened to get scouted. Two gangs started the commotion and she managed to take out more than a half from both sides.

•Heechul (her manager) was having a rough night when his next MMA superstar got arrested and had runout of possible prospects to replace her for the already booked fight next week and needed a drink. Watching Seulgi go at it like it was a piece of cake was like a heavens godsent for him.

•She surprised everyone at the gym even more so when with only a week of training she picked up on several techniques.

•She won her first match, quickly setting her up as the most promising fighter in the league for flyweigth

Rose:

Used to be a happy go lucky college student (majoring in music ofc) until back im her junior year after a party a group of guys tried to rape her. Luckily for her they were too drunk to put up on a real fight and she managed to escape.

•Safe to say she was more than shaken up by the accident so she started taking self defense classes.

•She ended up loving it! There was something just so freeing and empowering about it. She feels like no one could ever hurt her anymore

•She might not be the strongest but she's fast and can last for hours on end.

•She might or not have a crush on the new boxing champion at the gym.

•She practices kickboxing

Lisa:

Is the newest boxing champion on the lightweight divition and also the youngest at only 18 yrs.

•She's considered a prodigy and has been practicing ever since she was a child, following her father's dream

•Lisa is the kind of girl you wouldn't expect to be a ruthless opponent, what with her sweet and childish attitude outside of the ring but as soon as she steps foot on it she transform and becomes a badass bitch with no concept of mercy. Her duality is the main reason why she has so many fanboys and fangirls after her.

•What's even more baffling is that for all of Lisa's talent if she's outside of the ring you can bet she'll do everything in her hands to avoid any kind of physical violence.

Jennie (and Jisoo):

She's a gang leader, she looooves fighting and she will take any excuse to do it. Oh, did you happen to look at her for more than 2 seconds? BAM That's a fist to your jaw. Did you happen to bump into her on the street? PUM that's a kick to your groin.

•Seriously it has gotten to a point where even cops avoid her side of the street.

•If you were wondering, yes, her gang is Ikon and yes, she's the only female.

•To be honest it was all CL's fault, she took her in when she ranaway from her house and basically taught her every move she has. She also taught her to adopt that kind of attitude of she wanted to survive in that world. She just happened to fall in love with the lifestyle...I mean is hard to hate something you're good at, right?

•Truly for all she knows she's living her best life....until another bigger gang beat hers and claimed all her territory.

•She could've died bleeding to death on the street is if it weren't for Jisoo finding her that fateful night and nursing her to health.

•Since then Jennie practically became Jisoo's cat. A very possessive and grumpy cat but a cat anyways. She's literally only soft with Jisoo and only Jisoo and god help you if you do anything to her.

•She finally accepted to enroll in the "BlackVelvet" gym per Jisoo's request when the older girl explained to her that she kind of needed money (now that they were two and sadly her job at the local café barely allowed her to pay the rent to her small studio apartment) and there was a small local competition being held there with a handsome cash prize.

•She ended up winning ofc and getting scouted.

•She only accepted after they agreed to let Jisoo be her manager

Irene:

She's the most desired, beautiful, young CEO of the 21rst century according to forbes magazine. Having started her own business as early as 20 yrso and getting said business raise as one of the biggest monopoly in the world at 27 yrso. Thanks to her Bae Industries is for sure a name that will stay with ppl for generations to come.

•What they don't know about the beautiful CEO is that while in the day she remains as the sharp, intelligent business woman everyone have come to fear and admire by night she's one of the strongest underground fighters in Seoul.

•Fighting is the only true stress reliever she has for having to deal with condencending, sexist, mysoginistic, pervy (old) men all day at work.

•She had to pull out of the underground scene when one of the fights got too much and she was forced to kill a man (it was either him or her and Bae Irene wasn't about to quit out her life for the sake of morals)

•As much as she hates men, the incident did weigth a lot on her consciousness. It got to the point where she started to get trouble sleeping and with her only get away closed she was starting to go insane with stress.

•Thankfully for her, just when she was about to lose her mind she got quite the good news from her old friend (and ex-gf, who she might still have feelings for but shh you didn't hear it from me) Wendy telling her about this new Gym she opened along with two of her mentors and that she should check it out sometimes you know in case she needed to let off some steam and who knows even find an actual challenge for her.

•As soon as she saw the new blood fighting she knew she was in for the long ride.

•She's also a MMA fighter but on the lightweight divition. Don't be fooled though she's been doing this for quite a while and has developed quite the skill to take down several opponents twice her size without breaking a sweat.

•She sort of becomes a mentor for Seulgi, who's new in all this but has the potential to surpise even her in a few years easily.

Wendy (and Joy):

Used to be a big name in the wrestling world with several championships under her belt before migrating to the martial arts (Taekwondo).

•It was in one of the latters matches that she got a severe knee injury that ended her career.

•She used to be childhood friends with Irene, and later her girlfriend, until the day of her accident. She got a deep depression from it and decided to listen to her family and move to Canada to see if the change in scene helped her get over it.

•It took her a few years to finally accept she wouldn't be fighting professionally ever again and a few more to understand that not being able to fight doesn't mean she had to quit the world entirely.

•So she packed up her things and moved back to Korea to find her old manager, mentor and friends with a new propose in hand. Those being Tiffany, Taeyeon and Heechul.

•She wanted to start her own gym and help coach new, promising fighters. Taeyeon is a retired Taekwondo and kickboxing champion, Fany a very rigourous and determined manager who knew next to everything you needed to know about whatever discipline her clients were in and Heechul has the best eye for talent there needs to exist and together they founded the Gym.

•The first couple of months was harsh, they barely had enough to meet the ends day and despite the big names managing it, there were few aspirants willing to sign up and Wendy refused to go to Irene for monetary help.

•She felt ashamed for the way she just left and ended things with her (even when Irene told her more than enough times that she understood) she just wasn't ready to face her yet.

•Thankfully they found the perfect star that would later help them get the fame they needed to become one of the most requested (and then exclusive) gyms in the country just in time. The star being none other than Park Joy.

•Park Joy was Wendy's roommate. She just started college and was more than a little excited to finally be out of her parent's house and Wendy's very comfortable apartment was possibly in the best location next to her college with a much cheaper price than the dorms.

•Despite being way younger than Wendy they clicked instantly and became best friends in record time.

•Much to Joy's annoyance Wendy used to see her as a little sister, incapable of protecting herself. That quickly changed when one night after picking up Joy from a party and lecturing her about the dangers of frat parties and the drunk dumbasses lurking about and how defenseless she was in comparison that Joy snapped and showed her just how wrong she was by breaking several bricks without blinking and explaining to her she got Taekwondo classes when she was young and was already a black belt.

•Wendy was amazed and ever since then she started to beg Joy to pleeeease enroll in her gym and let her coach her into professional Taekwondo. Joy accepted but only after agreeing that she would no longer be required to pay rent.

•Something that luckily worked for both when she ended up victorious competition after competition and the news about it spread all around the country.

•Soon after more and more aspirants started to sign up for the gym along with other professionals wanting to train (and some even teach) there.

•It was only when her gym was successful enough that Wendy got the balls to contact Irene again and let her in inside her life once again

Kim Yeri:

She's Irene's personal assistant and possibly the only one besides Wendy who knows about her secret hobby before she went and joined the latter's gym.

•She's a huge MMA fan who goes to practically every major fight she can get whenever she has the time.

•When she heard about the mysterious goddess (Irene) who had been making a huge name of herself on the underground scene for quite a while now she just HAD to go to one of her fights.

•Her cute enthusiasm and surprising insight quickly got her the older's attention and she didn't hesitate on employing her as her assistant as soon as she saw just how capable Yeri really is.

•To say Yeri was living the dream would be an understandment. She was the person closest to her idol, the pay was more than satisfactory and now she has thr opportunity to engage and interact with the other big names in the fighting world.

•It was after meeting and befriending Lisa that she got the nerve to finally start getting classes for herself and step from being a fan to possibly be a star of her own.

•She decided to take on Muay Thai seeing as none of her closest friend where stars in the discipline and she wanted to be a first.

There it is...maybe I'll add some more later hehe

[koolkvat-blog]

       hello  loves  ,   what’s  up  !   i’m  super  excited  to  be  here  &  to  finally  play  my  precious girl  ,   jade aka kool kat   .   i’m  LOLA  ,   use  she / her prounouns  ,   i am NINETEEN  ,   &   i  am  currently  in  the  gmt + 1 timezone  which  means  yes  ,  my  ass should’ve  been  awake  for  intro  posting  but  i  don’t  know  what  time  management  is  and  ended  up  swamped  w/  work  ,  so  !   everything   you  need  to  know  about  about  miss  kat  is  under  the  cut  ,   &  i’m  rlly  thrilled  to  be  apart  of  such  a  wonderful  rp  with  such  gorgeous  muses  .  corniness over  ––   if  you’re  looking  to  plot  sumn  out  ,   just  hit  that   ♥︎    &   i’ll  make  my  way  on  over  to  ur  dms  ,  or  feel  free  to  add  me  up   on  discord  which  i’ll  give  in im’s  if  anybody’s  interested  !   ♡♡♡         tw  :   family issues  ,  body image issues  &  drug mention  ( not  explicit ) . 

001 . SYNOPSIS  . FULL     NAME  .      jade        kikuchi . NICKNAMES  .      kool kat    . AGE  .      twenty - one . DATE     OF     BIRTH  .      twenty  -  seventh     of     september   ,     1993      /     libra . PLACE     OF     BIRTH  .      harajuku ,   tokyo ,     japan .         GENDER  .       cisgender     female . SEXUALITY  .     (  closeted  )  pansexual  . NATIONALITY  .      japanese  ,  now  american  too  after  successfully  gaining  citizenship  . ETHNICITY  .      asian  . OCCUPATION  .       fashion designer at katz designz      ,     former  fashion  design  and  journalist  student  back  in  her  original  timeline  . PLAYLIST  .      here  !  (  +  )     charismatic , enthusiastic , warm , energetic , adventurous , compassionate , animated . (  -  )     deceptive ,  independent ,  emotional , territorial , ambitious , impulsive , temperamental , insecure , sarcastic .  

002 . AESTHETIC  .      wheatgrass  smoothies , 90′s  anime  with  subtitles  , chanel  no. 5, speeding  on  a  desert  road  with  the  windows  down ,  painting  your  toenails  on  the  dashboard ,  neon  prints ,  cat  lazing  on  a  balcony  in  the  sun , black  lace ,  japanese  horror  films  ,  sour  cocktails  with  sugar  around  the  rim , half - smoked  cigarettes ,  stacks  of  fashion  magazines , long  hair  hastily  dyed  different  colours in  a  motel  bathroom ,  thrift  stores   .

003. INFORMATION  .

tl;dr : a flighty, inattentive adventurer: a follower of whims; personable and sociable but lacks the skills to maintain relationships because she’s entirely (and perhaps too) career focused, checks her horoscope daily and entirely relies on the stars when concerning relationships, epitome of a britney spears / gwen stefani stan back in the 2000′s, still owns a (bedazzled) flip phone, collector of vintage fashion (chanel, elle, juicy couture etc.) a subscriber to the Leonardo Da Vinci sleeping method; catch her at 2 am making soufflés or buying plane tickets to shiwei so she can really experience the culture: will tell you she loves you ten minutes after first introduction because she’s high: kind of unintentionally insensitive to those she doesn’t know and closed off but in like a cool, lovable way. 

•    heads up im running on like 5 hrs sleep so sry when this inevitably derails ! ok sweet let’s get into this . 

•    so as aforementioned this is jade kukichi, aka, kool kat. she was dubbed that by her friends due to her unique fashion style and sense of dress, and it’s stuck. lbr nobody other than her friends can use that term so if you do, she’s just going to stare at u for a quick sec before saying ‘it’s jade’. 

•    born in harajuku, tokyo to a cardiothoracic surgeon of a father and a politician of a mother, jade grew up traveling the world and becoming flighty af, never thinking she was going to make long - term friends and kinda being okay with that. 

•    her family has never stayed in one place for very long, though her aging parents eventually settled into a permanent residence in the us around the time she turned sixteen, not soon enough for jade to break the habit of wandering, but thankfully quick enough for her to meet the bratz girls who were just as adventurous and fun - loving as she. she's spent much of her teen life jumping from place to place wherever her interests are that moment, collecting people along the way, but to find friends was the only thing she was missing. jade has a brilliant mind, but she lacks patience and follow through. she needs guidance or she'll jump from idea to idea, job to job, whim to whim.

•    ngl, jade pretty much hated her home life. her parents were an overbearing presence in her life, her mother wanting jade to be a proper lady who also went into a profession like theirs (entirely serious and stifling when it came to creativity, doctor, politician, lawyer etc.) while jade herself wanted to check out the latest trends and go to the mall w her friends – so she turned all of her focus and energy into getting good grades in everything she wanted to do in the hopes that she could be the most successful fashion designer, then leaving town forever. 

•    like she spent 7 yrs in high school graduating w honours but she barely knew what was happening in 9/10 of her classes and sometimes she just slept through classes and then wing her exams which she miraculously did well at. it was just not a good idea to send jade to a public school at 11 after being in boarding school for the rest of her life and then never really enforce any rules :~\ she has trouble with that kind of thing.. as in making logical choices instead of saying "YEAH lets go watch american psycho and smoke weed!" skipping chemistry to do just that 

•    she loves fun and values doing what makes her happy over most things. it's hard to pin her down and she spends most of her life chasing after ideas that don't really follow any sort of conscious order, bc she’s really got that ‘i’ve got dreams and i’m gonna do everything in my power to achieve them’ personality. 

•    according to bratz canon she’s worked as literally everything ? she’s one of those insufferable people who r just. good everything ig and that’s just how it is on this bitch of an earth. jade’s been a photographer, a song - writer and bass player in a rock band (shout out to bratz rock angelz the best movie w the best soundtrack ever), a student studying fashion design, a fashion columnist, a quickly fired nanny, and many other things in between. 

•    so when she appears in toonsville she’s kind of out of it that she’s not doing something w her skills and sets up her own business which she loves ? being her own boss suits her fine (for now) because she’s got a Real Job and she's actually trying rly hard so she can fulfill her dreams !! like suck it mom nd dad haha !!!

•    jade has a lot of weird feelings TM about her body and her looks and struggles a lot with her self confidence :~( she had a shit time at school with boys saying she was too thin and she compensated by acting like she didn't like anyone at all for a while and now she thinks she isn't good enough for anyone when rly she is a cinnamon bun too good for this world too pure 

•    best friend ever she is so good at being a friend if u text her at 3am to go out or cry on her shoulder shes ready to go at 3:15 even if she was sleeping w lots of snacks and treats and love!!! she is sooo extroverted around those she’s comfortable w, she gains so much energy from being around people and she loves being nice and being around ppl she likes 

•    she becomes the mom of groups pretty easily (hence why she’s the leader of the bratz) bc she bottles up most of her own problems to help ppl with theirs!! which is toxic yea but she puts people first always so !! plz help her poor repressed soul!! rip kool kat.. 

•    still super into the stuff of her time so like.. she loves the x files and bad reality tv shows (i want to be a hilton) and reads gossip magazines on the reg because she enjoys that stuff! also very into girl groups.. ginger spice / posh spice is an eternal mood.  

•    anyway yes sweet adult-child of 21 (she is in denial about that tho like she doesn't want to be childish) who is v nice v kind v loyal v baked a lot of time, v passionate v silly. idk what i'm doin hope u like it < 3

004. WANTED CONNECTIONS . 

friends / best friends / ride or dies . jade genuinely loves people, loves talking to strangers and getting into intense conversations with people she’s only just met, learning other people’s way of life and bettering herself for getting. she is, however, incredibly blunt and has never once minced words to keep from hurting someone’s feelings or to ease them into a situation. she’d much rather have a one-time conversation with a stranger than make long lasting relationships. she has three very close friends –  to the point of co - dependence –  and honestly, she’d rather spend all of her time doing things she loves such as her hobbies, sticking her nose into the latest vogue, or searching for cute collars and treats for her cat mica w them instead of making new friends. she's also FUN and she'd be happy to go on crazy road trips or buy out a movie theater for a day or anything that she thinks will her buds happy. she's traveled all over, so she’s v well read and cultured. she loves people but she hates complication and won't deal with any sort of emotional labor. she wants to live in the moment and expects everyone in her life to do so as well. just be chill, y'all. 

frenemies / enemies /  rivals  . please be her enemy, she needs people to antagonize shdhshd. she grew up pretty much affluent so she’s pretty spoiled even if she doesn’t want to admit it, and that rebellious side of her hasn’t died down yet. despite the fact that she is wealthy and in good community standing, she has a hard time letting go of childish grudges. in general she’s got a lot of suppressed feelings and ready to fight everyone who hurts her friends – like an irritated cat – so, honestly, come at her ? she is sometimes a little fickle and flighty and a unintentionally stuck up when it comes to art / fashion and she has definitely said the wrong thing at the wrong time and pissed the wrong people off, she can’t stand anyone underestimating her or thinking she’s dumb bc she’s interested in fashion. like gtfo !

ex’s , fwb’s , possible love interests .  jade is fairly fluid romantically and is the type of person who hates labels but also just wants to be cherished and called cute pet names lowkey. she loves a lot and gives a lot to her relationships, but typically doesn't want to commit to anything important. she’s gone from one disastrous relationship to another, ending up with a boyfriend who constantly ridiculed her image that was essentially the catalyst for her cutting off romantic ties, quite a recent wound before she found herself on the island actually. worst thing is tht she’s convinced herself that she’s been the problem in these relationships –  that she turns good people bad or that she is too much for people to deal with, she’s not sure what the issue is and she doesn’t really want to know. so…. fuck everything amirite ? anyway, she’s a strong independent woman who don’t need no (wo)man. 

etc . pls give me people jade can give a makeover to, people she shares an apartment w on the island, people who think fashion is girly and vapid.. creatives who love what she’s doing, anything tbh << 3