#and yes that's a Hozier quote | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

itwasntimethatdidit40 · 5 months ago

Text

Be still, my foolish heart.

Pairing/Au: Soft single dad!Joel Miller x Curvy f!reader, no outbreak

Words count: 8816 (I know, I’m sorry 💀)

Rating: +18, MDNI, NSFW

Summary: A meet cute at the clinic where you work leads to finding the best date you could ask for… our one and only Joel Miller.

Warnings: pov second person, no use of y/n, meet cute, a little bit of a slow burn, reader is curvy, has breasts and vagina and wears a dress, apart from that no other specific description is given, age gap (reader is 35, Joel is 46), Joel is a single dad and he is soft (what can I say, I’m a sucker for a soft Joel okay), reader doesn’t trust Joel immediately and she thinks he might be dangerous (he’s not, he’s cutest), Sarah is alive and well and she’s mentioned multiple times, mention of Tommy, Joel is a contractor, unprotected p in v (wrap it up IRL, folks!), pussy pronouns, mention of use of oral contraceptives (reader is on the pill), fingering (f receiving), oral (m and f receiving), dirty talks, elderly people being fragile and sick, slight mention of Joel’s prescriptions including antidepressant (game Joel took it so I put it in there), I know that prescribing medicine doesn't exactly work like that in America (not even in Italy for that matter) but allow me a poetic license (😂), reader has insecurities about her body, mention of bullying and previous toxic relationships that reader has been subjected to, internal reader’s voice inserts, pet names (pretty lady, good girl, honey, sunshine, baby, babe, angel), squirting (not specifically mentioned but still), Joel is feral and reader too.

I don't think I forgot anything but if I notice it I'll add it right away.

I made a mood board for the first time in my life, I know it's not great but I tried 💀 English is not my first language so please be gentle (I also have Covid at the moment… yeah, it’s 2024 and I caught it for the third time, lucky me), I hope there aren't too many mistakes, no beta so it's all my fault LOL, no proofreading. Title is an Hozier quote. Of course, because I love this man.

Oh sh*t, here’s what I was forgetting: the mirror scene is inspired by Polin (yep, it was a great scene ❤️) but I think I personalized and changed it enough to make it just Joel and reader's, at least I hope.

(Reader works in a clinic because I do this job so yes, she has this thing in common with me besides being curvy. Every time I write a curvy reader is so personal to me)

I might write something else about these two if you like, I really love this pairing and I hope I’m not the only one, comments and reblogs are very much appreciated! Thanks to anyone who will read this 💐

Archive tags : @pedrostories

You are at your desk, absorbed in an email you are writing to a patient who is asking for prescriptions for medicines. The clinic is empty and quiet and this doesn’t happen often so you’re trying to keep up with emails and messages and phone calls that you have received in the last hour.

Suddenly the door opens and a man enters the clinic, at first you don't even look at him, you just say "Good morning" and continue typing.

He clears his throat and says “good morning” and stops in front of you, on the other side of the desk. He’s clearly waiting for you to shift your attention to him so you turn and look at him. For a moment you’re speechless. He’s a gorgeous man.

Tall and broad, dark hair slightly streaked with silver, strong aquiline nose, beard and mustache framing a pair of plump lips, perfectly designed jawline and neck.

Stunning.

You didn’t expect anyone like this ‘cause really, the doctor you work for has hundreds of elderly patients or families with children and you have never been interested in married men, you don’t even look at them but anyway, you never saw a single person that was attractive to you in this place before.

You smile politely as you ask “do you need anything?” and you want to sink into your seat because you don't even have makeup on and you're wearing the first things you found in the closet this morning. An old pair of jeans and a black top.

“Yes please, I need some prescriptions. I just changed doctor because my previous one is now retired. I always sent an email to his secretary but this is the first time I've asked for my prescriptions here so I thought I'd stop by in person especially since I was in the area. I’m working in the building next door”

Bingo.

That’s why you never saw him.

You quickly look at his hand on the desk for a ring and it’s not there.

His hands are gorgeous though, big strong working and experienced hands.

“Sure, can you tell me your name please?” you ask trying to keep your tone professional while being excited to know more about him.

“Joel Miller” he says and you find the way his tongue rolls up to pronounce the r at the end so delicious it’s almost embarrassing.

For a moment you're almost afraid he might hear your thoughts.

You turn back to the computer typing in his name and a moment later his medical records appear.

46 years old, born in late September, he lives in Austin. You look at his prescriptions and notice a reflux medication, another for high blood pressure, and an antidepressant.

Oh.

What happened to him?

“Well, Mister Miller, what do you need today?”

“You don’t have to call me Mister Miller, even if you’re younger than me I think?”

You look down in bewilderment, not expecting much familiarity from him since it’s the first time you’ve seen him but you answer anyway “Yes, actually. I’m 35”

“So you can call me Joel” he says with a smile that tugs at the corner of his mouth and hopeful eyes of someone who asks not to make him feel old.

“Of course I can” you hurry to answer “So… Joel, what do you need today?”

He gives you a grateful look and replies, “I don’t remember what it’s called but… my medicine for high blood pressure.”

“Oh yes, this one” you nod and proceed to prepare it, “just a moment, Mr Miller… uhm I meant Joel, I need to get the doctor to sign it,” you tell him as the printer gurgles, spitting out the prescription paper.

You stand up from your chair, feeling your legs a little unsteady, and once you’re in front of him his height impresses you even more. He’s imposing, you’re a curvy girl and yet you feel so tiny in front of him.

You notice that he looks you up and down and seems pleased, his eyes reflecting an approval that makes you very satisfied.

You move quickly to the doctor's office, enter apologizing and have him sign the prescription. When you leave you find him standing in front of your desk waiting, he looks at you again and you notice a certain sparkle in his eyes.

"Here you go" you say and hand him the prescription.

You feel his fingers lightly brush yours and a shiver of pleasure runs down your spine.

“Thank you,” he smiles at you, “you are very kind.”

“No problem, have a good day,” and you approach the desk to sit down again. You see him hesitate for a moment, as if he wanted to add something.

“Do you need anything else?” You ask curiously and a part of you really hopes that he will ask you for your phone number or if you want to go get a drink after work.

“Oh no, no thanks, see you next time”

His gaze drops to the floor as he says this, as if he's embarrassed, which you like because it feels like you're not the only one in the room who's been pleasantly shaken up by this encounter.

He puts his hand on the door handle and turns once more, smiling shyly.

You smile back feeling a sense of tenderness so premature that you wonder if you're losing your mind.

You go back to work but all you think about is him, you want to know more.

You enter his name again in the search bar and reopen his folder. Joel Miller. You wonder who he really is and what he does but apart from his pathologies and his date of birth you don't find much else about him. His address is there but you certainly won't use it for unorthodox purposes such as accidentally ending up in his neighborhood, you would pass for a stalker as well as a very unprofessional secretary.

Nothing stops you from noticing that he lives in a very quiet residential neighborhood though.

Will he be married? There are men who do not wear a wedding ring so it might not be safe to rely only on the fact of not having seen it.

You hesitate a bit before doing so because you already feel awkward enough for someone you've only seen once but in the end you type his address in the search bar to see if other people who live with him in the same house appear, usually families tend to have the same doctor for convenience.

You hold your breath as you stare at the white screen waiting and after a few seconds a result appears.

Sarah Miller.

“There I knew it, he’s married” you think, huffing and shrugging, but then you look better and realize that this Sarah is 14 years old. “So… he has a daughter”

No one else showed up in the results so you assume he is not married but he may have been and then got divorced. Unless his wife chose another doctor but that seems very strange to you.

You contemplate trying to Google his name but then decide it's best to wait until you get home, you can't use the work computer for personal stuff.

You sigh and go back to your work, completing your search just a second before the doctor comes out and asks you if you have any urgent messages.

Today everything is strangely quiet though, even if you wasted time looking for information on Joel you finish all the work, not without thinking about him at least once an hour. You feel silly, you shouldn’t have any kind of thought about someone you don’t know and with whom you have only exchanged a few words, the fact that he seemed interested and that he was about to ask something while he was about to leave could also be false projections that you have made in your head. And yet…once home, after taking a shower and putting on clean pajamas, you throw yourself on the sofa nibbling on a sandwich and open your laptop.

You open Google and type his name and the first result that comes up is “Miller - construction company”

It could be him, now that you think about it he mentioned he was working on the building next door which is in fact under construction.

You scroll down to the bottom of the page where the owners are listed and you see two names, Joel and Tommy Miller. You assume that Tommy is his brother. You go back to the Google page for a moment and check if there are any namesakes but no one else in the city has the same name. And just like that, you know what he does.

You don’t think you can do anything with this information, you live in a new apartment and everything is in perfect working order so you just have to wait. Before leaving he said “see you next time”, so now you find yourself wondering when the next time will be. Probably in a month, when he will need a new prescription.

Such a long time. But maybe this will help you, you tell yourself. It's just a passing thing, you tell yourself. You can't be so foolish as to project your fantasies onto him. You decide that this is okay, you'll just get over it.

_____________________

After a week you almost got Joel out of your mind. You worked quietly, met the usual old people who came to the clinic to be examined, no sign of him. You'd be lying if you didn't think about it anymore but you stopped yourself from doing something foolish like contacting him for a fake construction job to try to meet him.

You are preparing some prescriptions when the doctor comes out of the office and asks if you could please take some medicine to the home of a very elderly patient. It is something you usually do not do but the caregiver cannot leave her alone and her son is away for work all week so she had no choice but asking you to do that. It will take up extra time because you will have to go to the pharmacy and then to her house, the doctor offers to pay you overtime but you know the lady and say that it is not a problem, you can do it without compensation.

Of course you can do that for Rose.

When she was better and could move around quite independently you often talked when she came to the clinic, she immediately took a liking to you and treated you like a niece, she would bring you gifts, vegetables from her garden, other times sweets cooked by her.

She is a dear lady, you are happy to be able to do her a favor.

At 5:00 you leave the office and head to the pharmacy, pick up her prescriptions, and get back in the car to drive to her neighborhood.

Rose lives in a nice street with many rather large houses, well-kept gardens and white picket fences.

You knock on the door and Georgia, the caregiver hired by Rose's family to assist her, opens it.

You already know her, she has accompanied Rose to the clinic many times but lately her health has worsened a lot and she can no longer leave the house.

“Hi, Georgia! I I brought Rose’s medicines”

“Hey! How long has it been since we saw each other? Come in!” She says with a big smile.

Georgia is a very sweet person and a great professional, she has taken great care of Rose all these years. She is a qualified nurse and the granddaughter of a long time friend of Rose. Georgia had moved to Texas from Arkansas to attend college and since then she had always lived at her grandmother's house, who lived a few miles from Rose's house.

She took the job because she loved her and when her grandmother passed away Rose was very close to her.

Georgia offers you a coffee and some chocolate cookies she has prepared, which you gladly accept.

You chat a little while Rose is resting and then when it's time to wake her up to take her evening medicine you accompany Georgia to her room to say goodbye to Rose.

She is lying motionless in a bed, now forced to ask Georgia for help with everything, she is almost 85 years old now and you are so sorry to see her like this. Until a few years ago she was an energetic, witty woman, with lots of hobbies, she loved reading, gardening, cooking and going to the movies. Now she was a ghost of herself. And the worst thing was probably that her mind was still working, so she realized what was happening to her and this made her even sadder and more helpless. Her body did not respond, while her mind understood everything.

She recognizes you right away and greets you so sweetly with her now faint voice. It breaks your heart to see her like this.

She asks you for a hug and you put your arms around her little shoulders, holding her gently. She's always been good to you, she doesn't deserve this.

You leave the room, wiping away a tear, without letting Rose see you, and say goodbye to Georgia, promising to come back and visit them soon.

You stand in the driveway feeling helpless for a moment, you would like to do so much more. Some patients have become like an extended family to you, you have known them for years and seeing some of them fold in on themselves, increasingly frail and elderly is so bad.

You look up and see a black pickup truck driving down the road. There’s a man in it and he looks familiar. He pulls into the driveway two houses down and gets out. And oh, shit.

It’s Joel.

Joel Miller.

He lives in the same neighborhood as Rose and you didn’t even registered that in your mind before.

You don't know what to do, whether to get in the car and drive away pretending nothing happened or take the opportunity and go say hello to him.

It seems silly to say hello to someone you've only seen once, no matter how attractive they are. You walk to your car, rummaging through your bag for your keys.

You're about to curse because never once do you find something in your bag, it doesn't even matter what it is. Big bag? You find nothing. Small bag? You find nothing either.

Your eyes move for a moment to the asphalt and you see two boots approaching, you look up again and you see two legs wrapped in dark jeans streaked with paint and of course to those legs is attached the rest of Joel Miller's wonderful body.

Your eyes widen and you watch him stop in front of you, beautiful as a God. Even more beautiful than the first time you saw him.

“Hi! I saw you across the street and I was pretty sure it was you. I almost made a fool of myself, but hey, I was right!”

You lose your words, it's as if they've slipped out of your brain and melted at your feet.

At least you solved a dilemma, he greeted you first.

“Hi” you say shyly.

This doesn't make you any less nervous, you were trying to sneak out of this neighborhood unnoticed and you could say that he ruined everything and you don't know him well enough to know whether to be grateful or keep running away pretending to be very busy.

He has a daughter, a respectable job, a brother, lives in a nice neighborhood, and seems to lead a regular life. Is that enough to trust these days? Probably not.

This dude can be anyone, a serial killer, a criminal, a drug dealer, a thief, whatever.

How do you know he doesn't sleep with a gun on his nightstand or keep dead bodies in his basement?

Trust no one, is something you learned from a very early age and you always stood by it, safety first.

Have you been wanting to see him again for a whole week? Yes.

Did you just realize that you know nothing and that you might be risking something? This too.

“Can I ask why you’re here?” He asks, running his hand through his curls in a way that drives you instantly wild.

God, why is he so gorgeous, this doesn’t help at all.

You can always run to Rose and call the police if he suggests something strange and you’re in the middle of the street in broad daylight so you decide to take the risk and say the truth

“I came to deliver medicines to a lady who lives here” you reply, acting like he doesn’t have any kind of effect on you.

“Oh, so this is something you do? I didn’t know that”

“No, not regularly. I actually did it because it’s Rose, you know. She’s an adorable old lady”

He nods as if he knows exactly what you're talking about and actually says, "Sure, Rose. I know her. She used to babysit my daughter many years ago."

Okay, those are some great credentials. So maybe you can trust Joel Miller? Isn't he a lunatic homicidal? Maybe not.

Obviously you pretend you don’t know anything about Sarah and ask, “Oh really? You have a daughter?” raising your voice in surprise for a better result.

“Yeah I do. She's 14 years old and she's already giving me a hard time, she’s so smart and responsible that she’s basically parenting me” he shrugs while a little smile tugs at the corners of his mouth. You can see in his eyes how proud he is of her.

You giggle “well, she sounds so cool, I do love a tough girl.”

“Oh, she’s definitely your girl then”

You smile and think that after all, yes, Joel probably doesn't have any horrible skeletons in his closet.

And again he falls silent and looks uncertain and embarrassed, he lowers his eyes and then asks you, “You know, I’m going to be working in the building next to where you work for a little while longer, so I was wondering if you’d like to have a coffee with me sometime?”

It’s like every word is bouncing around in your head as you think about what to say. Would you like to get to know him better? The answer in the end is, “Yes, I would like to, thank you” you feel your face heat up as you say it.

Joel shifts his weight from one leg to the other as he looks at you, he seems nervous, excited but above all happy.

“I’m glad you accepted. So…what do you think about tomorrow?”

“Okay, I have lunch break from 12 to 2, is 1 okay for you?”

You see his face light up “sure that’s fine. See you tomorrow then”

For a moment he raises his arm as if he wants to come closer and touch you, but then he immediately lets it slide down his side.

Gentleman, you note in your head.

It is not yet the time for such confidence, but secretly you hope that it will come soon.

You say goodbye to him and get back in the car and you see him waving at you in the rearview mirror.

“God, Joel Miller, I already know you’re going to be a threat for me. In the best sense of the word.”

_________________________

In the weeks that follow, you and Joel share a lot of coffees. Every day he waits for you outside the clinic at 1:00 sharp, you go to the corner café and chat for an hour before returning to work. He tells you a lot of things about himself and his life which you adore listening about.

He also confides in you that he was in therapy and had to use antidepressants for a period of time, when Sarah's mother abandoned them. You completely understand.

And the more you talk to him the more you get convinced that he’s a great person, you don’t have any doubt about that.

He never fails to compliment you, on your clothes, on your hair, on your eyes, on your nail polish.

He laughingly admits that the compliment about the nail polish was Sarah’s suggestion. “Dad, she told me, girls like it when you notice details.”

You laugh out loud and nod. “She’s right. And you’re right, too, you have a very smart daughter.”

He shrugs “I know,” and then adds. “It’s been so long since I’ve dated anyone, I don’t even remember how to do it anymore.” You lean slightly across the table and whisper. “Well, I think you’re doing great.” And it’s true. You feel spoiled like a queen.

He gives you a mischievous smile “oh yeah?”

“Yes, definitely” And you want to kiss him right there, in that crowded café.

Yet a voice inside you still can’t understand how someone like him, who could have all the women he wants, is inviting you, a curvy girl.

You shouldn’t, but you still have those latent insecurities from when you were 15 and boys in your class made fun of you. Somewhere inside you there is still that fragile and wounded teenager who thinks it’s impossible that someone could truly love you. Or even just desire you.

And you hate it, because Joel has done nothing but show you how much he enjoys spending time with you. And his compliments have always sounded sincere, his eyes are, they send you a reassuring image, full of admiration. He seems truly interested in you.

You're still in this internal monologue where you curse yourself for being like this when he asks you, "Would you like to go out to dinner tonight?"

Oh. He did it. He took the next step.

With your heart pounding in your chest and your mouth unable to help but curl into a smile you answer “yes!” a little too loudly.

You put a hand over your mouth as he looks at you amused “well, I’m glad you’re so excited about the idea. Should I pick you up at 8?”

“Yes, that sounds perfect” you reply, quietly this time but with a little firecracker in your chest that keeps banging where your heart is.

You finish your coffee and go out and he asks for your address which he writes down on his phone. You try to say that there is no need for him to bother but he insists on picking you up.

“Do you like Italian food?”

“I love it”

“Good, see you tonight” and this time his hand wraps around your arm and squeezes lightly as he leans down to give you a kiss on the cheek.

You return to the clinic feeling like you're walking on clouds.

You come home after working as hard as you can while still feeling anxious and completely unsure of what to wear. You know you didn't do anything wrong and that's a relief because you certainly can't mess up your patients' medications.

You jump in the shower, mentally going over everything in your closet. You decide to exclude any black dress because no, simply no. It's a special day and you want to wear a color. Maybe the green dress? No, green doesn't suit you, you don't even know why you bought it. Maybe the red one? But that one is very low-cut and you've rarely felt good enough to wear it. Maybe the blue one? The blue one is low-cut, but not too low-cut, it hugs you in the right way, it doesn't highlight what you don't want. Yes, maybe it's the right choice.

You hum in the shower as you wash your hair, satisfied with your decision.

You come out feeling invincible. Joel Miller has asked you to dinner. It’s been years since anyone has asked you out. You didn’t like the ones who did, and God only knows how much you miss good sex. Someone who touches you just right. Someone who makes you sigh and whimper and feel alive in his arms.

Someone who kisses you and leaves you breathless and doesn't hesitate to make you feel simply amazing as he goes down between your thighs.

Joel seems to have all the makings and miraculously seems eager to give you exactly that.

You slip into the dress and look at yourself in the mirror. You like the image it reflects. To hell with those stupid kids who always gave you shit and made you feel horrible.

You're going out to dinner with Joel Miller tonight.

Joel fucking Miller who in the high school categorization is the equivalent of the football quarterback.

The High School Prom King.

God, that makes you feel so good.

He rings the doorbell at 8:00 sharp, just as you’ve finished putting on your favorite lipstick. You take a deep breath as you go to open the door, placing your hand on the handle, and mentally preparing yourself for what you’ll find on the other side.

Finally you open it and he’s perfect. He looks like a painting framed by your door.

You stifle a scream with all your strength and say “hello” to him in a high pitched voice.

Goddamn you.

He doesn't even seem to notice. “So, miss, are you ready?”

“Sure, thank you.”

You grab your bag from the hall table and walk out with him. He takes your hand as he walks you to his pick up truck, opens the door and helps you get in.

Once in the driver's seat he turns to you and says "you look incredible tonight"

And you're about to say that after all you could skip dinner, who cares, instead you could go to your room and fuck. But you decide to behave as well as him, this man has a daughter to take care of and it seems like he's not looking for a one night stand judging by how many coffees he's offered you and how much he's put in to get to know you, so much so that by the second time he could order for you with his eyes closed, so you just say “you too” with the biggest smile widening on your face.

And oh, it's so true. He left aside the flannel shirts and the worn jeans and with them he was already the most attractive man who had ever caught your eye.

He’s wearing dark blue jeans and a beige shirt that hugs his strong biceps. You can glimpse his soft tummy as he drives, the last button before his belt tightening in a delicious way, his meaty thighs wrapped in those jeans are mouth watering.

The work he does makes him muscular in all the right places.

The car stops in front of the restaurant and he opens the door for you again. He lets you enter the restaurant first, he addresses the waitress politely and they place you at the best table in the restaurant. You are impressed, he did all this for you.

The evening passes pleasantly, you talk a lot and chat about everything, by now there is a familiarity between you that you have built over the weeks, you feel safe and comfortable with him. Finally. After so many failed and wrong relationships you feel like you have found someone right. Joel is not ashamed of you, he doesn't try to change you, he doesn't comment on your weight, he is truly a breath of fresh air.

And you see the way he looks at you, enraptured. His eyes sparkle as he talks to you and listens to you. He listens to what you have to say and never makes inappropriate comments.

You both have a sense of humor and you like that, you manage not to take yourself too seriously and laugh together. Which is hot. Extremely hot. Every time you see that dimple on his cheek pop up, your knees buckle and your heart melts. He’s so adorable.

You also like the fact that he talks to you about Sarah, it makes you feel involved in his life, it seems like he doesn't try to keep you separate from it.

“Sarah is at a sleepover at one of her friends. So…would you like to stay over tonight?” he says it looking you straight in the eye and you already know what it means.

It’s the night.

The big night.

After all, you felt it and put on your favorite lingerie.

“Sure I want to,” you reply, taking his hand across the table and squeezing it. His hands big and strong…you can’t wait to feel them all over your body.

He insists on paying the bill despite your protests, you walk out of the restaurant and toward the truck when Joel grabs your waist and presses you against the door. He’s an inch from your lips, you can feel his warm breath on your skin.

“Can I kiss you?”

“What if I say no?” you tease him with a mischievous smile.

His body is completely on top of yours and the truth is that you can already feel your panties getting wet.

“I would quit, but it wouldn’t be easy so I hope you’ll reconsider”

You giggle “okay” and you feel his hands tighten on your hips.

He presses his lips against yours and it's a sloppy, needy kiss, urgent, all spit and tongue.

It leaves you breathless and you wonder what he will do in bed if this is the effect he has on you with just one kiss.

In fact you are touching each other really for the first time, in these weeks you have imagined many times his lips, their taste, their softness, their warmth. Now you know that he exceeds all your expectations.

He's calmer now, his lips fit perfectly between yours, he gently nibbles your lower lip and continues to lick inside your mouth.

He’s divine.

Utterly divine.

His hands run up and down your hips and he's about to lift your dress and grab your thigh when you stop him. “Joel…”

He looks at you with bated breath and eyes begging for mercy. “Yes, sweetie?”

“Not here…please, take me home” you whisper and he sighs “okay”

You don't even know how you managed to stop but you want your first time to be just for the two of you, you don't want to risk prying eyes or voices shouting obscene comments getting in the way.

You're already nervous enough that he'll see you naked for the first time.

He makes you get back in the pick up and gets into the driver's seat, while he fastens his seat belt you cast an eye at his crotch and you realize he’s semi-hard.

While he's driving, you put your hand on his thigh, because he has to know how much you want him.

You squeeze gently and hear him grunt “Babe…don’t do it, I won’t make it home.” and you giggle.

His low, raspy voice drives you crazy, and for a moment while you're stopped at the traffic light you consider sliding down your seat and straddling him but no, just no, wrecking his car on your first date wouldn't be the best way to end it.

You take a deep breath, leaving your hand quietly on his leg, but you want… oh you want so much to move it up and reach his bulge and stroke it over his pants.

When he pulls up in his driveway in the cab of his pickup truck there's an electricity between you that could power a small village, you feel it fluctuating in the air.

He quickly unbuckles his belt and leans over you to unbuckle yours, not without kissing you. “Let's go, pretty lady, I feel like I can’t wait a minute longer”

You get out and run to the door, he nervously searches for his keys in his pockets and opens it. You don't even have time to look around, it's the first time you enter his house but you only see it fleetingly because he takes your hand and immediately drag you to the bedroom.

There’s a chest of drawers in one corner and a wardrobe, both made of dark wood, probably made by him.

In the center of the room there is a large bed with a headboard of the same wood, the walls are a beautiful cerulean blue, there are three paintings hanging above the bed.

The bed has beige sheets and a light beige duvet with white stripes.

It’s a very manly cozy room, he makes you sit on the bed and you feel how comfortable it is, it's like him, warm and soft.

He starts undressing in front of you, he takes off his shirt and unbuttons his jeans without taking his eyes off you, he seems hypnotized by you.

You suddenly feel like there's an emptiness in the pit of your stomach, you wonder if you're ready to make yourself so vulnerable in front of him.

Oh fuck, where did this come from now? Why? You were so happy just a second ago.

It was easy in public places, you were able to use irony and your defense tactics.

Now there’s just the two of you and you wanted that, you insisted for that and yet you feel exposed now.

You know it's right, your insecurities right now aren't from Joel. Joel makes you feel safe.

It's you, it's just you.

Joel notices your hesitation, comes closer and caresses your face then he gently takes your chin and raises your gaze towards his

“Are you okay?”

“Yes” you reply in a small voice.

“If you don’t want to do it, that’s okay, darling.”

Your voice cracks a little as you reply “no, oh no, Joel I want it”

“So what’s wrong? Talk to me, you can trust me, you know?” He slips his hand into your hair and caresses you gently, looking you intensely in the eyes.

It's so stupid, all night you've felt hungry and lustful for him and now… you're afraid that seeing you naked he might think he made a mistake.

“I…” you try to say. You know that he at least deserves sincerity from you “I… I’m ashamed”

Joel's eyes widen and a completely confused expression appears on his face “about what?”

He really doesn't seem to understand and it makes you feel a little frustrated

“About my body, about the fact that I'm not thin, I have stretch marks and many other defects and you will see them” you say it all in one breath feeling silly.

“Oh babe…no. Listen to me carefully: you’re absolutely gorgeous. You don't have to be afraid to undress in front of me, I'm sure that whatever is under your clothes is wonderful and deserves to be worshipped. I really like you. I'm not saying this just because I want to have sex. You’re beautiful, honey”

You feel tears stinging your eyes and you fight them back with all your strength “you could have anyone you want”

“I want you. I want you if you let me” his voice is firm, his fingers caress your jaw until they reach your lips and brush them gently.

“Do you trust me?”

Sure, why shouldn’t I. He’s never given me a reason not to. you say to yourself.

“Yes” you whisper

“I want nothing more than to make you feel good and I won’t do anything you don’t want.”

“I know”

“And you can always talk to me about anything, okay? I don’t want to make you regret this”

He is sincere. He is absolutely sincere and you can clearly see it in his big beautiful brown eyes.

“Okay” you smile

“And by the way…your curves make me absolutely feral” he gives you a mischievous smile.

“Yeah?” you say with a hint of surprise

“Sure. Would you let me prove it to you?” his hand is on your shoulder now and lingers on the strap of your dress.

“Yes, please Joel… yes”

Damn insecurities, they were about to make you lose the best man you've ever met.

And now you feel impatient again and want his hands everywhere.

Now you notice his broad chest, the freckles scattered across his skin, the happy trail of hair that ends up hidden by his jeans.

Now you can enjoy the view of his muscular shoulders and strong neck and you can't wait to taste his skin under your tongue.

His hands move slowly over you, he slides the straps of your dress and reveals your bra.

“Get up,” he says, “I want to show you something.”

You look at him in disbelief. “What?”

“Come with me” he takes your hand and makes you get out of bed.

He takes you to a full-length mirror in a corner of his room “Sarah made me buy this because she says I have to look at myself before I leave the house. She says I make terrible combinations when I get dressed. Sometimes I'm in a hurry and wear my shirt inside out or something like that." he says smiling and shaking his head.

You giggle and the confidential tone with which he speaks to you makes you feel special.

“Well I don't know if it's the mirror's merit but you did a good job tonight” you joke.

You are in front of the mirror and he is behind you “look at yourself”

You become serious again and observe yourself.

“Look how beautiful you are” he says in his deep and slightly hoarse voice“can I?” he asks placing his hands on the clasp of your bra. You nod.

He takes off your bra and drops it on the floor. You look at that woman in the mirror, you look at her skin and the roundness of her breasts and her hard nipples and then you look into his eyes and you see nothing but admiration “God, your breasts are amazing” you hear him say “can I touch them?” and you nod again “yes, please Joel”

He traces the outline with his fingers and then cups his hands and fills them with your tits.

You don't miss the moan of pleasure that he tries to stifle in his throat “they are so soft” he squeezes them delicately “mmm baby, they feel amazing in my hands”

He takes your nipples between his fingers and tugs on them slightly “and these? Look how sexy they are, I bet they would be delicious in my mouth”

You feel your skin heat up and your head spin, you squeeze your eyes shut at the sensation of his hands playing with yours hard buds and his words go straight to your cunt. He’s so good at this.

“Open your eyes, honey” he whispers in your ear “don't stop looking at yourself”

His hands leave your breasts and for a moment you want to take them and put them back there but you let him. He slides your dress down your hips, until you're left in your underwear in front of the mirror.

“You’re stunning” he punctuates every syllable on your skin making you tremble “absolutely gorgeous”

His hand slides over your stomach and your belly that always makes you feel insecure “Is that what worries you?” he asks as if he can read inside you “that you don't have a flat stomach? Honey, your tummy is amazing.”

He squeezes it and it seems incredible to you how delicate his big hands can be “It's full and delicious and sweet and I can't wait to bite into it”

You squirm, leaning over his broad chest “Oh my god” you moan

He caresses your hips with both hands, supporting you “and these… they feel welcoming and warm and mmm baby, so sensual. Can you see it? They fit my hands so perfectly”

You look at yourself and you've never felt this way.

Guided by his words you finally see yourself beautiful and desirable.

He slips his fingers under the edge of your panties “Can I?”

“Yes” you say in a breath

He slowly slides them off, revealing your pussy “Jesus.” He mutter “look at her. Look how perfect she is”

He just touches your mound and you feel hypnotized, his voice, his hands, the warmth of his body, it’s all too much.

“Oh baby… I love that you left that little strip of hair”

You can't hold back anymore and you whine “touch me Joel, I want more”

His voice vibrates on your soft skin again “Tell me what you want, in detail” He bites the spot where your neck meets your shoulder “I want to hear”

“Oh god… I want… I want your fingers inside me, stretching me just right” you babble “I want to feel full”

His fingers slide between your folds “God baby you’re soaking wet. It’s all for me?”

You squirm under his touch nodding repeatedly, you feel desperately needy and hungry.

“Yes. Please Joel”

“Please what, baby?” He ask maliciously

“Make me yours, make me all yours”

“Can you see how beautiful you are now?”

“Yes” you nod “yeah. Don’t make me wait any longer. I need you, Joel”

You can swear that right now you feel really beautiful and also the luckiest woman in the world.

“Oh, you're getting impatient now… I like that” he says in a hushed tone.

He's still behind you and holding you close, he's still wearing his jeans but you can feel his hard cock pressing against your ass.

You look small in his arms, he surrounds you completely.

He brings you back to the bed and makes you lie down, you are completely naked and yet you no longer feel ashamed and inadequate.

He takes off his jeans, remaining in a pair of black boxers.

At the sight of his erection poking out against the fabric you lick your lips in anticipation.

He lies on top of you, his eyes on yours, looking at you intently “You’re perfect, honey” and then his mouth crash into your neck, kissing and licking everything he can, he takes your skin between his lips sucking and biting like he was starving for you.

“Your skin is like velvet and you smell so good, fuck”

And you whimper and cry and clasp your hands on his shoulder digging your nails in them and you feel like you don’t need anything else in this life.

He lowers himself on your body, grazing at your skin with his lips, lingering for a while on your nipples and mumbling at how good they are.

“I love touching you with my mouth, tasting your curves against my lips” until he reaches your tummy giving sloppy kisses at it and then he bites it. His teeth are attentive and gentle but at the same time eager, like he wants to taste your whole being.

And then he come to your mound and traces your thin strip of hair with his tongue and you buck your hips and move one of your hands through his curls and you plead “more, Joel, please”

He grunts at you when you tug his hair and you look at him with the most miserable begging eyes you can pull out “You want it so bad, babe? Want me to eat you out?”

You mewl a yes and he smirk “want to come on my tongue?”

You nod again “yes”

He places himself between your thighs “God, she seems made for this. So sweet scented and pretty. I bet she tastes so good”

And in an instant he dives into your pussy and his nose bumps your clit as his tongue begins to lick you up and down, delving your folds and making your hips jerk.

Your legs are wrapped around his back and his hand is on your tummy holding you in place “god, you look so beautiful like that, my precious angel, all spread and ravenous for me” every word vibrates on your clit and make you moan loudly. It’s like a demon took possession of your body, an insatiable and aching demon that wants nothing but pleasure.

He nudges at your entrance with his tongue and you cry again for more “your fingers, Joel, please, give them to me”

He pushes two fingers inside your soaking wet hole, they enter just easily and he curls them up inside you reaching for your sweetest spot.

“fuck, yes” you howl “god they feel so good, they feel so fucking good, Joel”

“I know baby, I know, you’re taking them so perfectly”

He continues to swirl his tongue over your clit as he pump his fingers in and out of you, increasing the pace when you can’t hold your moans anymore and you’re so loud you almost fear his neighbors can hear you “God, Joel, I’m coming - I’m - coming ah- god you’re incr- ah” you’re totally babbling trying to get a complete sentence out of your mouth and you can’t, you just can’t because he’s too much and you never felt that good before.

“Soak my fingers, babe, soak my face, give it all to me”

Your pussy clench around his fingers and you feel breathless as your orgasm washes all over you, his dirty talk made you over the edge.

You whine his name as you come, again and again and he doesn’t stop lapping at you until you’re calm.

He lies down next to you, wrapping his arms around you, you bury your head in the crook of his neck and sigh, “Oh, Joel.”

His hand sits on your ass squeezing gently “Such a good girl for me. I can’t believe you almost called yourself out from this”

You playfully pinch one his nipples “don’t make a fool of me”

“I would never” he says, kissing your hair “I’m just saying that you’re too good to not be taken care of. Your body deserves to feel passion and lust and all of that”

“On that note… there’s something else I’d like to do” you look at him maliciously

“What, baby?”

“I would love to… uhm… fuck, I would love to give you head”

He tilt his head “excuse me miss? Watch your mouth!” You giggle hiding your face in his chest and he laugh, and then he goes serious and ask “You sure? You don’t have to do that if you don’t want to”

“Yeah, I know” and you raise your face to kiss the lovely bald patch in his beard and you move to his ear and you whisper “I really want that though”

“As you please, sunshine”

You cup his bulge in his boxer and stroke it gently over the fabric “someone else here needs to be taken care of too”

He grunts “yeah, baby, keep going like that”

“Actually… I can make it even better” and you move from his side getting on your knees on the bed and then sitting on your heels as you keep stroking him.

You lower his boxer and his cock spring free, he’s already hard as rock. You lick your lips “delicious” and he looks at you mischievously “I guess you can be naughtier than I thought, baby”

You smirk back at him, lowering yourself on his groin and kissing the tip of his cock, just the tip, gently as a feather.

You giggle and pull back as he bucks up his hips to your mouth “so impatient, aren’t you?”

“It’s just… I didn’t have anyone giving me head in a very long time”

You open your eyes wide “I don't believe it”

“I swear” he says in a lower hoarse tone “I didn’t… I had some one night stand here and there but nothing serious, you know, I needed to be focused on Sarah and my work. so everything was quick and meaningless”

You can’t imagine Joel having meaningless sex with anybody, he’s so respectful and attentive with you.

You raise an eyebrow. “Joel Miller, do you mean to make me believe that all the women in the neighborhood aren’t in love with you?”

“Oh Rose loves me for sure” and you laugh “but about the others… I don’t know, some of them tried a couple of times but I always rejected them. I told you, I didn’t have time for complications”

“Then why you’ve changed your mind now?”

“Sarah threatened to sign me up for Tinder if I didn't find someone. And then I met you”

You giggle “so you went out with me to be safe from Tinder”

“At first, maybe. But now you know that it's not just that, right?”

“Yeah, I know.”

What he just did speaks volumes about how much he likes you.

And you’re even more convinced now.

You lower your head and lick the tip again swirling your tongue around it and he moans.

You slide your tongue flat along his length and wrap your hand around the base. It's big, bigger than you expected but you don't feel intimidated.

“Oh baby, you’re so good to me, what have I done to deserve such a perfect girl?”

He gasps when you took all you can of his cock in your mouth, feeling his length sliding over your tongue and his musky taste invading your palate, you whine beginning to suck like you’re desperate, stroking the rest of it with your fingers.

It doesn’t take too much before you start feeling him throbbing between your lips, he’s right on the edge as you suck and lick and kiss him like the most delicious lollipop you’ve ever had.

He pants loudly bucking his hips “Baby I’m almost - AH- almost there”

You make his cock pop out of your mouth “finish inside me, then”

“You sure?”

“Yes, I’m on the pill” you nod straddling his crotch and positioning his cock at your entrance.

You slowly lower yourself feeling the tip force its way into your hole and you moan with every inch that pushes its way inside you.

You stay still for a moment feeling his cock fill you up completely.

He says nothing but he looks you in the eyes and the brown of his pupils has become incredibly dark.

Eventually you start moving on top of him, placing your hands on his chest, your pussy making lewd sounds and your tits bouncing, he takes them in his hands squeezing them as he sinks into you, deeper and deeper and harder and harder.

You’re basically riding him and you've never felt so wild and free, your insecurities just disappeared clouded by your pleasure.

“Fuck, baby, you’re so gorgeous like this, look at the way your hips move, it’s so fucking amazing”

You throw yourself onto his chest as you feel his seed paint your walls, you take his mouth with yours stifling his moans that echo inside you.

He slides a hand between you, searching for your clit, and his calloused fingers begin to move over it. You end the kiss to look into his eyes, “don’t stop” he whispers “come for me baby.”

Your head feels light and your vision blurs as you feel your orgasm building up from the depths of your tummy, your pussy clenching and squeezing his cock.

You gush all over him like never before, making a mess of his crotch and the sheets underneath, crying his name so hard.

You rest your head next to his, inhaling the smell of tobacco, wood and the sweat of his neck, and you laugh, you laugh joyfully, “God,” and he does the same, wrapping his arms around you and caressing your back “Nothing like this has ever happened to me before, I'm sorry”

He holds you tighter “you don't have to be sorry, darling, it was wonderful”

“I made such a mess” you murmur

“So what? Nothing that laundry can’t fix. And I’m good at laundry, you know?”

He kisses your forehead and stroke your cheek “I haven't felt this good in ages”

“Yeah, me too” you kiss him wrapping one your leg around his.

You both stay quiet for a while, enjoying each other’s warmth, kissing every now and then suddenly it hits you and you say, “Do you know who we owe all this to?”

“No, I don’t honey, to whom?” he asks confused.

“Rose” you say “Think about it, if I hadn't brought her medicines that day we wouldn't be here now."

“That’s true. I think we should go visit her and bring her a nice present.”

“Yes. She will love the story of how we met.”

You kiss him again and think about what gift could match this. Probably none, because it's the best thing that's ever happened to you.

#pedro pascal #joel miller #fanfic #joel the last of us #joel tlou #the last of us #joel miller fanfiction #one shot #joel miller x reader #joel miller x oc #joel miller au #joel miller one shot #joel miller fluff #the last of us hbo #joel miller comfort #joel miller x curvy reader #joel miller x f!reader

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midnight-wood · 2 months ago

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oh Nanami Kento…. 🖤 (and Andrew)

And thank you for sending it to me 🖤

#Nanami #erebus-et-einengrau #he’s just sooooooo matched up #I can see him quoting lyrics in love notes and confessions #like yes #everything I want is a man quoting Hozier at me #to this day the best thing my husband has ever told me is that if anything ever happened to me/us he could never enjoy Hozier again

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venear-tmblr · 2 months ago

Note

What hozier songs would fit your characters?

OH GOD DON’T GET ME STARTED, IM HOZIER FAN NO.1—

FSMP!Ven is Run — this song is about how Ireland destroys its own civilians, a nation betraying its own people. And c!Ven’s part of the system that destroyed the people of the realms. It’s really interesting bc the original quote that Hozier took to create this song, from James Joyce— “Do you know what Ireland is?’ asked Stephen with cold violence. ‘Ireland is the old sow that eats her farrow.” — frames Ireland’s destruction as a little bit loving, from a motherly figure. c!Ven did what he did out of love, and he was misled through parts of it aswell. It’s destruction for a misled “greater good,” and that’s c!Ven’s rotten core. (BUT i will also say, From Eden was the thing that inspired vengári, so credit where credit is due there, i love that song for him too <3 )

Evan (AmongUs! Ven) is Sunlight — whilst there’s been less content of him than most Ven varients, i’d describe him as kind and emotion driven even when it’s not smart to be. He’d defy or kill his boss if it meant his boyfriend surviving and thriving, and that’s the extremism that’s portrayed in Sunlight.

Marcel is I, Carrion (Icarian) — I think this one’s pretty self-explanatory, but it’s about how Marcel has been uplifted by love his whole life. Yes he’s been through things, but he’s been loved through all of them. It’s also very Lovebirds coded heheh. But will love be enough in the end for Marcel?

Nephrus is Unknown/Nth — This one was actually so hard to pick but i’m gonna settle for this. The most heartbreaking thing about Neph is that he’s never been known. Through his childhood, his young friendships, the times he’s been betrayed or treated like shit, all of those people didn’t care enough to know who Neph was. He’s been tricked all throughout his life. (I also think Run works for Neph too, since he’s the one being betrayed by his leaders. and bonus: Too Sweet is THEE Danphrus song and Wasteland, baby!)

and,,,, secret option from the guy who’s barely been introduced—

Agent Altas (c!Ven) is Arsonist’s Lullaby — this song is about being called to something, and not knowing why or how, and following the feeling until it brings you to destruction or destiny. Having a predetermined path you must follow. That’s Ven to a T. (this guy’s hardly been seen —asside from Fable survival games and one or two appearances other places, but trust me this guy is cool. content will come out about him soon (hopefully,,, IRL life has been crazy for me lately lol))

anyways hope y’all enjoyed the yap <3

#fsmp #fable smp #cantripped #cantripped nephrus #cantripped podcast #boundsmp marcel #vengári #boundsmp #ven asks #fablesmp #among us ven

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starry-eyed-wild-child · 5 months ago

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~ the way she tells me i'm hers, and she is mine ~

kappa x reader

a/n: whoooo! It's finally back, pookies! I'm so, so sorry that I haven't updated this in a while - life has been exciting and hectic to say the least! Yes, I used one of Kappa's quotes in this, sue me.

summary: after the eventful weekend with your family, all you can do is wait for your cult leader to come home to you

warnings: SMUT (mdni), unprotected sex, breeding kink, swearing, slight religious imagery (sorry to my church), my first ever smut, yikes

taglist: @ithinkitstimetonap @greenxgloss @angelsanarchy

The night air carried a gentle breeze, brushing against you like a sweet caress - sitting outside in your garden, sipping on a mug of herbal tea. The breeze was a sweet contrast - the chill on your skin and the warmth of the mug in your hands. The music from your record player washed over you, wrapping around you like a comforting blanket.

Kappa saw you. Wanting so badly to come and sit with you. To touch you. Though the fear of your family still lingering about held him back. His eyes fixated on you in an almost painful longing.

You heard a twig snap in the distance, making you jump. How cliche, you thought. You held your mug further to your chest, closing the door of your garden behind you as you went inside. With a sigh of relief, you watched as Kappa sauntered from behind the bushes.

Kappa emerged from behind the tree, his eyes wide and curious when he saw you turn around.

"Scared me to death." you giggled, opening the doors to let him in. "You want a warm drink?" you offered, walking into the kitchen.

Kappa stepped through into your home, his heart racing with excitement and anticipation. He felt the warmth of your home envelope him, pushing away the bitter chill of the night. He smiled at your offer, but shook his head 'no'.

"I have a door, y'know, no need to go lurking around my bushes like a creep." you teased, sitting down on the living room floor.

Kappa chuckled at your remark, tilting his head to the side as he watched you sit on the floor, an almost predatory look in his eyes. As you sat down, he followed suit, sitting across from you and staring at you intently.

"I'll keep that in mind for next time." he joked, a hint of amusement in his words.

"Not like I'm not happy to see you... but what are you doing here? You can't keep leaving the family like this." you asked, concerned about how often Kappa seemed to leave them unattended.

Kappa sighed deeply, his shoulders slumping over as he ran a hand over his face.

"I know... I know I shouldn't leave them like this.... but how else would I see my girl, sugar?" he smirked, shifting closer to you on the floor, his fingers teasing the skin of your inner thighs. "It's a lot sometimes... I think I deserve an escape every now and then hm?"

"I understand... I think..." you said, trying to find the right words, "I mean... I don't. I'm not a cult leader..." you snickered, "But I want to try and understand... to help."

Kappa nodded, gathering his thoughts before continuing. "I have to maintain order... I have the weight of responsibility. Sometimes... I get so caught up."

"Well... we don't want that now, do we?" you hummed, placing a soft kiss on his ear, trailing them down to his jaw. "Can't have you forgetting who you are." you murmured, holding onto his shoulders.

"No." he whispered, his voice low and hot in your ear, "No, we don't want that."

You took another moment, sighing deeply before your eyes met his. A look of determination in them.

"I wanna join, Kappa." you spoke lowly, almost as though you didn't want him to hear you say it, "Wanna be with you..."

You knew this was a huge commitment. You knew that. You were seriously asking your cult leader lover to join his hippie family - you'd officially gone mad.

Though, Kappa was taking this surprisingly well. You assumed that he'd tell you it was a spur of the moment decision. That you were foolish and should be ashamed of even asking. Instead, he brought your hand to his lips, kissing the tips of your fingers.

"Together... we can create something beautiful... meaningful." Kappa spoke, his words filled with conviction.

You nodded eagerly, your eyes clouded over with twisted love and sickening desire. God, it would be true what they would come to say. That you were just as sick and twisted as he was - and you didn't even know it yet.

"We'll build a new world together..." you added with a soft sigh, "Like the Garden of Eden... paradise on Earth...that we shaped... together."

"Our children will grow up in paradise...a world that we created... just for them..." Kappa leaned forward, holding your hips tightly as his eyes pierced yours.

Your heart fluttered, leaping when he mentioned children. You could see it. Your children. They would be beautiful. Built on nothing but love and devotion - bred on passion and raised with loyalty. Symbolic of everything the world should be - and would be.

You nodded at his words. And you'd allow Kappa to see this side of you. The deluded, passionate and possessive side that he knew he was responsible for creating. You were everything he'd ever wanted. And you were all his.

And you just couldn't help yourself. You leaned forward, pressing a deep, fiery kiss to his lips, locking with heat and pent up desires. You didn't want to pull away - like a thirsting man from water. All love and lust was poured into the kiss, and it was warm and full of light.

"They'll grow up knowing unity... paradise.. freedom. Knowing that defying Earth... defying nature must have a cost."

A sense of profound contentment washed over as Kappa wrapped his arms around you, kissing and nipping his way down your throat. The whole image. The whole talk of children, of building a new world built for paradise sparked something in you. Something primal that made you want to have Kappa in the most natural, intimate way.

You pushed him gently so that he lay on his back on your floor, the crackling from the fire cast a soft glow over Kappa as he lay looking pretty under you. You popped the buttons of his shirt open, one by one, peppering kisses down his chest and abdomen as you went. You could feel Kappa's beating heart under his skin, the thumping had your mind swirling.

"Want you to give me your children." you hummed lowly, moving your hands to his thighs as you lay your head on his stomach. You peered up at Kappa through your lashes and the seemingly innocent act only fuelled his aching want.

"Fuck." Kappa gritted out, holding you so tight you knew it would bruise. He tilted his head with his lips parted, staring up at you. God. How he hoped for a little girl that looked exactly like you.

You laughed lowly, almost manically, as you shifted positions, swinging your legs over his in a straddle. You smirked softly, reaching your hand back and down to firmly grip Kappa where he needed you. The warm, throbbing feeling in your palm had your mind spinning.

"F-fuck you... that's.. that's unfair." Kappa spat, groaning at the friction.

Your smile widened when Kappa gave the reaction you so desperately wanted. You knew that in any other situation, he'd be angry. Embarrassed that you had so much control over him.

"You like that, sugar, hm?" you cooed mockingly, moving your hand up and down with a firm, slow grip.

"You're... such... a bitch." he groaned, "Don't you dare stop, sugar."

"Or what?" you teased, slowing down your movements ever so slightly but keeping the grip on Kappa firm and tight. You felt your own need growing by the second, but you were too engrossed in seeing how far you could push Kappa before he snapped.

"You're a fuckin' tease... If that was anyone else... I'd beat the fuck outta you, yeah?"

You raised a brow, challenging Kappa with a small, satisfied smirk on your face. You knew you had him exactly where you wanted him. And, God, did Kappa know that too. You removed your hand, making Kappa growl lowly at the lack of contact as he felt the building pressure die off inside him.

Instead, you rocked yourself back and forth slowly, tossing your head back with a pleased sigh. You felt your eyes clouding over, and you reached down to interlock Kappa's fingers with your own - a strangely intimate gesture that only added to Kappa's aching want.

Kappa swallowed hard, the rough grip on your hips tightening.

"I need you so damn bad...get the fuck on me, sugar." Kappa grunted, moving you up roughly so that your dripping core was positioned right where he needed you to be.

You hummed, satisfied with how eager Kappa was to beg for you. Watching as his knuckled turned white with how hard he was gripping on to you. You moaned softly when you felt Kappa twitching beneath you, the obvious sign of the lust that was pooling in his stomach.

Kappa growled, pure animalistic need radiating from his body as he lowered your hips down onto his, throwing his head back on your floor as he was enveloped by the warm, wet feeling of your core around him.

"How'd you want it, sugar?" you hushed out between pants, resting your intertwined hands on Kappa's chest.

Kappa grunted, squeezing your hands tighter - feeling the need to cling to you. To anchor to himself like this was the last time he'd ever have you like this.

"Fuck... fast. And hard." he gritted out, his voice strained with primal need. Kappa let out a guttural sound, groaning lowly as you did as he requested, moving on top of him fast and rough. The tightness of your warm body around him sends shock waves of pleasure through his body, Kappa's head spinning with ecstasy.

"That's it... just like that...f-fuck, sugar." he panted, his voice rough and ragged.

You laughed breathlessly, the sound turning into a broken, choked back moan as you kept the steady, rough pace. You wanted to make this last as long as possible, not caring at all about how irritated your neighbours would be - at three in the morning.

"Jesus, sugar... I'm getting close. You gotta... slow the fuck down." Kappa said, his voice shaking as he teetered on the edge of release.

You rolled your eyes, pressing a light slap to his cheek - not enough to hurt, but enough to sting just right and to make Kappa's eyes widen at your audacity.

"Don't you dare." you hissed through your pleasured state, "You can go longer than that."

"F-fuck... you're goddamn crazy.." Kappa breathed out, his eyes screwing shut as he tried to hold back his desperate release that was tightening in his abdomen.

"I'm crazy... you're crazy... we'll be crazy together." you whispered hotly in his ear, lowering yourself down all the way, taking Kappa as deep as you could.

"Y-yeah... but you, sugar... you're a whole other level of unhinged. You're batshit crazy...and that's why I love you so goddamn much." Kappa said, his voice nothing more than a gruff, low grunt in your ear.

You gasped loudly, your eyes fluttering closed as Kappa hit that beautiful spot inside you that had stars exploding behind your eyes like a colourful kaleidoscope. And Kappa could see it. Imagining you beside him, joining the family, life being like this all the time.

"Jesus, fuck... you close?" Kappa panted inn between short, shaking breaths.

"Uh-huh." you whimpered, clutching Kappa's hands in yours and pulling them to your chest as you felt that all too familiar coil tightening in your abdomen.

"S'so close, sugar, fuck... made for me, weren't you?" you cooed lowly, desperately seeking the release that threatened to wash over you any moment now.

Kappa couldn't respond. His mind already too blissed out to even think about forming a coherent response.

"M' gonna cum, Kappa... and you're gonna cum with me. Deep inside, yeah?" you hissed, gripping and clutching at his hands like they were your last tether to Earth.

Kappa nodded frantically, a little too eager for what he would've liked. But he couldn't help it. Not when you felt like this around him - tight and clenching as the band inside your abdomen snapped.

"Y-yeah, sugar. I'm gonna cum... deep inside, just like you want." Kappa grunted, wrapping his arms around you as he felt you collapse against his chest as your release washed over you like a tidal wave.

You let out one last shuddering gasp when you felt Kappa paint your insides with thick ropes of hot, white release, burying your head in his neck as you tried to regain your breath. You truly hoped that this would be it. That your baby, symbolic of the new world you'd build together, would be created.

After a few moments of silence, only being broken by your panting breaths as the flames of the fire - you spoke up again.

"When can I come meet the family?" you asked, making Kappa chuckle breathlessly as his fingers traced invisible patterns up and down your back.

"As soon as you're ready."

You nodded, humming against his chest as you lay down beside him, intertwining your legs together - a soft mess of limbs and naked flesh.

"I'm ready now."

If this had been a book, it would've ended badly. You'd both get lost in the lust for power and passion in creating the new Eden - paradise on Earth. You'd go crazy together and would encourage each other's madness until the very end. Though we have yet to reach this part of the story...

#kappa black mirror #kappa x reader #rory culkin #rory culkin x reader #someone new series #Spotify

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crossmydna · 25 days ago

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Ao3 Wrapped

Tagged by @sam-loves-seb @energievie and @mybrainismelted <3

1. How many words have you written this year?

51,142, not including Galladrabbles or work on WIPs that haven't been published yet, so probably closer to 80k

2. How many works did you publish this year?

6 fics and 4 pieces of artwork

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

Probably The Blackwing Prophecy because it's my most ambitious work so far!

4. What work of yours has the most hits?

For fics only, 7 Minutes in Heaven with 3,369 hits

5. What work of yours got more feedback than you expected?

The Stowaway for sure. I was just expecting to write a silly pirate one-shot and everyone in the comments wanted more lmao

6. Favorite title you used?

Touch/Starved because it reminds me of something that like Hozier or Noah Kahan would use for a title of one of their songs

7. If you use song lyrics, which artist’s songs did you pull from the most?

I normally don't, but in my drawing Somethin' to Keep You Cool I quoted Ice Cream Man by Van Halen (because the original fic did as well hehe)

8. Pairing you wrote the most for this year?

Gallavich <3

9. Favorite pairing you wrote for this year?

Technically Gallavich but the scrubbed characters I re-wrote for The Menagerie, Mal and Rowan, have a special place in my heart <3

10. What work was the quickest to write?

Probably Locking Down the Locksmith

11. What work took you the longest to write?

The Blackwing Prophecy because it involed lots of lore creation and worldbuilding before I even started writing the fic.

Or Gallavich Week 2024 - Nine AUs because I had to fit 4 prompts into each 400 word ficlet and make them coherent.

12. How many WIPs do you have in your docs for next year?

3 so far! The Blackwing Prophecy, that priest!Ian fic that still has eluded me finishing it, and now The Stowaway

13. What’s your longest work of the year?

The Blackwing Prophecy with 20,048 words so far

14. What’s your shortest work of the year?

7 Minutes in Heaven with 2,832 words (not including artwork)

15. What WIP are you taking into next year with you?

Same three as in question #12 (plus maybe a couple more shhh)

16. What’s your most common “Additional Tags” tag?

Probably Alternate Universe! That's pretty much all I write lmao

17. Your favorite character to write this year?

I really loved exploring touch starved/touch averse Mickey in Touch/Starved.

18. The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?

Probably Ian in The Blackwing Prophecy because he's struggling with keeping secrets and that's something he's not very good at (and neither am I)

19. What’s one pairing you want to explore next year?

Always more Gallavich <3

20. Which work of yours have you reread the most?

The Blackwing Prophecy because I need to remember what happened lmao

21. How many kudos in total did you get this year?

2,307 🥰

22. Which work has the most comments?

7 Minutes in Heaven with 38 comment threads

23. Did you do any collaborative works this year?

Nope!

24. Did you write any gifts this year?

I wrote Touch/Starved for @michellemisfit as well as drew art for various people!

25. Did you receive any gifts this year?

Yes! @mybrainismelted wrote Nuts for me because I got a flat tire and wanted someone to make a Gallavich version of the shitshow that it was lmao. And also I commissioned Old Habits and New Revelations from @whatthebodygraspsnot!

26. What’s your most common category?

M/M always

27. What do you listen to while writing?

Honestly either Legend of Zelda speedruns or lawn care videos because I'm a psycho

28. Favorite work you wrote this year?

Probably The Stowaway because I can't stop thinking about it

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

How does he describe feeling like you’re going to explode and implode simultaneously? How does he tell her that he’s been thinking about Ian’s hand on the back of his neck nonstop and aching to feel it again with every fiber of his being? But that the thought of it is so overwhelming that he can’t actually bear it? — from Touch/Starved

Or, the scene in chapter 4 of The Blackwing Prophecy where Ian is deciding to heal Mickey or not.

30. Biggest surprise while writing this year?

Starting 2 new major WIPs and still not finishing the one I've been trying to write for like 2 years now lmao

Tagging @gallawitchxx @deedala @whatthebodygraspsnot @thisdivorce if you want to play!

#tag games #Ao3 #Ao3 wrapped #cross writes

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seenoversundown · 4 months ago

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For Death Or Glory : Chapter Twenty-One

Jake Kiszka x Charlotte (Fem OC)

Warnings: 18+ Smut! (sexy warnings will be last so you can skip if you want! read otherwise 🫶🏻) An Emergency Meeting, Pining, Yearning, Fluff, Romantic themes, (Jake is a whole sweetheart, we know this) Some light teasing, Discussions of Sex, 'Captain' is brought up, some brotherly banter, light mention of alcohol (it's still in the bar but not aggressively?)

Smut Warnings: Oral (M Receiving) Fingering (F Receiving) Unprotected Sex (P in V- you get the drill & wrap it up at home folks!) there's like a subtle moment that gives cockwarming so, there's that.

Word Count: 6.4k

Summary: Jake has a bit of a moment over his feelings about Charlotte and decides to reach out to the only people he knows will be helpful.

Author's Note: I know I say this every week- but wow, I love them. A very sweet chapter for some very sweet babies. I hope that this fuels your dreams a little more with the two of them. I know we're all waiting for the actual confession but, hopefully this can hold you over until they figure themselves out. 🥰

Jackie And Wilson - Hozier "I need to be youthfully felt, cause God, I never felt young- She's gonna save me, call me baby, run her hands through my hair."

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

“I’ll see you later, right?”

Her smile beamed at me, her hands pressed against my chest, and she giggled, “Yes, babe. I promise.”

“Okay, okay, I’ll let you go then,” I tell her, moving my hand to hold her jaw. “Actually– wait, one more.” I pull her in, keeping the kiss for as long as I can.

“Baby,” she laughs against my lips, her hands tapping me as I pepper her face with little pecks. Anything to hear her laugh. “Okay, okay, okay!” Her hands grabbed my face and pushed me away, but the way she was looking at me made my insides want to explode.

She sits in the driver’s seat, looks back up at me, and cuts me off before I can even spit out anything. “Yes, I’ll text you when I get there.”

“Drive safe, Hun,” telling her as I push her door shut. I was slowly wandering back to the bar, just scrolling through emails and hearing the chime ring, when I pulled the door open.

Tossing my phone onto the counter and going to the back room to grab a few things, I hear the back door open.

“Goodmorning!” Josh’s voice sings into the hallway.

Walking out to find him, an arm full of beer, I see him making his rounds throughout the tables.

“Well, good morning to you too,” I chuckle, watching him fight with one of the chairs as the feet are puzzled in with the table leg.

I’m stocking beer and checking to see what else we need when I feel his presence behind me.

“How’s Charlotte?” he asks, and I can hear the smirk on his face. I should have known that it would come up; I’ve been distracted lately, so we’ve not had a chance to discuss it.

“Uh, she’s good,” I let out timidly. He’s aware of the agreement she and I made originally, but I haven’t really said much about how I’m feeling to him yet. “How’s Quinn?”

“They’re great—,” he says. “You’ve been spending a lot of time together, huh?”

Shit. I glance over at him, fighting the urge to smile, humming, “mhm.”

Grabbing a towel and starting to wipe down the bar top, I feel him grab my shoulder, making me look at him.

“I haven’t seen you this happy in a while,” he pauses for a second. “It's refreshing.”

I guess I hadn’t realized that my mood, in general, was different. The smile creeps onto my face as we look at each other, “It really is.”

“Are you still just ‘friends’?” He asks, adding the quotes for emphasis.

I nod reluctantly, “Mhm.”

“You know, you’re lying to yourselves, right?” He laughs loudly.

Yeah, but I don’t want to scare her away.

I look over at him, “I’m just letting her call the shots, and if she doesn’t want to claim it’s something else, then..”

“Oh, you lovesick little puppy,” his head falls to the side as he looks at me. “She’ll come around. From what Quinn’s said, she definitely enjoys you.”

My heart shakes at the thought; I really hope she does.

The door chimes as a supplier walks in, distracting us finally from my weird love life situation. But just because Josh and I stopped talking does not mean my brain did.

What if she doesn’t come around? Maybe she really is just in it for the sex while she’s here? There’s literally no way that she needs to be still training Mel at this point.. Josh was done in like two days when I had him take the certification. Oh..oh my god? Wait– it’s an online thing, why is she..? My thoughts run rampant with what ifs and why’s, making my hands shake as I sign for the delivery that just came in. I need to figure out how she’s feeling, but I can’t do this with Josh. The idea hits me.

Me: hi so I need some … help.

I text into a group chat, hoping that they’ll be receptive and not make it worse.

Quinn: are you okay???

Willa: 👀 what kind

Mel: oh??

Me: just girl related help and I can’t ask my brothers.

Me: will you come get coffee to make this easier?

Quinn: I THOUGHT THE DAY WOULD NEVER COME

Mel: I just have to drop Iris off real quick

Willa: OMG SAY LESS

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

I wait out front of the coffee shop down the street until I see them coming up.

“You didn’t have to wait for us,” Willa says as they get closer.

I prop open the door for them, gesturing for them to go first, “Oh, I don’t mind.”

I followed them all up to the counter and gave them a second to look at the menu before asking, “Do you know what you want?”

A resounding ‘yes’ came from them, so I walked up, ordering first, and then nodded to the rest of them. They ordered whatever they wanted one by one, and I quickly handed my card over to cover it. Listening to all three of them quietly yell at me for paying, but knowing they are taking time out of their day to come listen to my woes, it’s the least I can do.

They all let out a ‘thank you’ of some sort as the girl handed my card back to me.

Once everyone was situated and we found a comfortable spot, they just stared at me, waiting.

“Alright, kid, spill,” Quinn pipes up as they go to sip on their drink.

“Well… I sort of don’t know what to do about Charlotte,” I admit. The nerves hit me immediately when it came out.

Quinn quickly asks, “What do you mean?” There’s no way they don’t know.

“Uhh.. I just.. she and I have been… um,” I hesitate to say it, but Willa cuts me off before I can.

“Been what? Spit it out!”

I can feel the heat in my face, asking, “You guys really don’t know?”

I watch as they all look at each other, but nobody is really reacting. How?

“There’s no way you don’t,” I mumble as I side-eye them.

Quinn caves first, “Okay, yes, we know.”

“But, tell us how you feel, though!” Mel chimes in right away. Oh, that’s a loaded thing to ask.

“I mean, she’s incredible,” I start, but I can’t stop. “She’s so sweet, even if it took a little while to open up. She’s secretly so funny and nerdy, and my god, she’s beautiful. I just–”

Willa stopped me mid-thought with a loud “OH.” They all glance at each other again; I hate this. “We knew you two were sleeping together, but–”

My face is absolutely bright red at this point, and I reluctantly ask, “I’m assuming she’s told you about that, then?”

“Nothing.. Crazy..” Quinn’s voice trailed off, glancing over to Willa.

She chimes in with, “Obviously just the normal stuff..” passing the look over to Mel.

“Girls have to share stories sometimes, you know?”

My hands run through my hair as I watch them beat around the bush about it, letting a small ‘oh no’ slip out.

Quinn quietly says, “Don’t get too stressed about it, Captain.” They’re hitting me with a wink after they say it. FUCK. I hide my face in my hands for a second, listening to the three of them giggle at my pain.

I can’t stop the “Well, shit” from coming out. I should have known. Quinn naturally would hang onto that just to torture me.

“All outstanding reviews, though. Don’t worry,” Willa says, her eyebrows raised as she sips on her coffee.

My head whips up to look at her, “Really..?”

She nods quickly, as do the other two.

“What does she– no, that’s not important,” I stop myself from getting distracted. “I just don’t know.. how she feels, and it makes me feel a little insane.”

“Wait, what else are you feeling?”

“Yeah, give us more details.”

I sighed before starting, “She just makes everything better. She pushed me not to check my phone when we went to Salem so I could enjoy the day off, and it was.. great. She can distract me enough from everything else going on that I forget about being stressed out. I’ve never slept better than when she stays the night with me. I mean, I just..”

“Oh,” Quinn lets out, looking at the other two. Mel’s hand flew up to cover her mouth, and Willa’s shit-eating grin was plastered across her face. Oh god, that’s not good.

“What?” I ask, knowing I might regret that.

“Jake…” Willa starts before whispering, “You love her.”

My hand finds comfort on the back of my neck, and the blood rushes back into my face when I stumble over my words, “I.. haha.. Um..”

Quinn laughed, “Oh, I might cry.”

“Don’t- if you start, I will too,” Willa joins in.

“I just don’t want to mess up whatever’s going on, and I want to figure out how she feels because I don’t know if I fucked up by letting myself fall for her,” I admit.

Mel finally chimes in, “Jake- you didn’t fuck up. You can’t control who you fall in love with.”

In love.

“There’s no way that she isn’t at least on kind of the same page as you,” Willa immediately tried to help, which naturally was followed up quickly by her counterpart.

“We see how the two of you interact. Even if she isn’t maybe as far down the rabbit hole as you, she’s at least sitting on the edge of it blushing and kicking her feet,” Quinn says. God, they really do spend too much time around Josh.

“Okay. I think I’ve just been too in my head about it. I also hadn’t really processed the feeling, but then the other night, I don’t know what was different,” I can’t stop letting out little truths.

“It’s okay to be scared, Jake,” Quinn says quietly, rubbing my arm.

I shake my head subtly, “I know, and I just-” Mel’s voice playing in my head again, in love.

Mel speaks up before I start to spiral, “If she doesn’t feel the same way about you, she’s dumb as hell.”

“Honestly!” Willa chimes in quickly. “And Jake, just because she isn’t outwardly saying how she feels about you doesn’t mean it isn’t in there.”

They’re all right. It’s normal to be scared. There’s a chance she feels the same way. I can’t control it.

“Thank you,” I let out quietly.

Quinn speaking up again, “Do you feel better?”

I nod before sipping on my coffee again, unable to fight the urge any longer and asking, “So.. what did she say about me?” My eyebrow raises, looking amidst the three of them. I’m still a man at the end of the day, and knowing she told them about our sex life.. I need to know.

They all laugh at the question, but naturally, Willa is the first to say something.

“I didn’t think you had it in you,” she says, making us all laugh. “You’re so quiet and unsuspecting; when she told us I almost didn’t buy that it was you.”

I can feel the heat rushing back into my face, almost regretting the decision to ask, but it’s interesting to hear what she would have said to them.

“Also– is it just ‘captain’ or does she call you other things too?” Quinn asks.

I about choke when I hear it, quietly saying, “I’m not going to answer that.” I scratch the back of my head as I’m trying to avoid eye contact.

The three of them almost scream at the response. No, maybe I do regret asking.

“I mean, she must also be something if it’s bringing that out of you,” Mel says, wide-eyed

I shake my head at the statement, “You have no idea.” Thinking of the fact she initiates a lot of what we do, the way she just takes control, she’s comfortable being in charge or letting me throw her around. “If you thought, I was deceiving, holy shit.”

“Stop!”

“No?!”

“I’m so serious, she’s..” I pause, not really even sure what word to use. My eyes just go wide trying to come up with a good word.

“That good huh?” Quinn taunts, making me laugh. I lean back into my chair, covering my face, why am I embarrassed? It’s not that big of a deal.

A collective ‘OOOOO’ from the peanut gallery makes me laugh harder, knowing that they’re eating this up. I am grateful to have a handful of people in my life that I can at least bring this up to; there’s no way I could have had this conversation with the boys.

“Okay, okay, that’s enough torture for today,” I try to cut them off. We all sit there for a little bit longer, just talking about the plans for Thursday, since basically all of us will be with my parents anyway. Danny usually joins us at some point because my mom loves him like her own, so I’m sure Mel and Iris will be hanging out with us, too. Which is completely fine and I’m not at all jealous. It’ll be nice to spend the day with everyone and not be at the bar, I hope. ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

After we all left the emergency meeting, I came back to help Josh out for a bit and make sure everything was put away and written down. It distracted me for a bit but, once I was almost done, it hit me. She hasn’t said anything. I tap my phone and see my lock screen empty. Glancing around the bar, I’ll just make sure she’s good; I toss my phone into my pocket and then find Josh to let him know.

The cold air hits me as I walk out into the alley behind the bar, pulling my phone out and tapping on her name to call her. I know she’s realistically okay, but it doesn’t stop me from feeling nervous.

“Hi,” her sweet voice rings through my phone.

The instant relief of hearing her– indescribable.

“Hey, you. How are you?”

“I’m good? Why are you-” she starts to ask, but then a little gasp leaves her. “Oh my god, I didn’t realize how late it was.” I can’t help but laugh at her being shocked. “Hey! Don’t laugh at me! I was working and apparently was very focused on it.”

I choke back another laugh at her scolding me, “I’m sorry, honey.”

“You don’t sound sorry,” She mumbles; I can see the scowl she probably has on her face in my head.

Dramatically holding over my heart for the effect and pulling out my English accent to really drive it home, “Oh! I am so so sorry, my dear Charlotte. I would never laugh at you for such a responsible and honorable act!” My heart swells at her laugh; I want to listen to that forever.

“Okay, now I believe you,” she giggles. “I can leave in a few minutes to come back.”

The bar isn’t that busy since it’s .. Sunday.. Josh probably wants the money anyway.

“I can come to you,” I ramble out quickly. She always comes here, and it’s the least I can do.

She’s quiet for a second, “Are you sure?”

“Absolutely,” I tell her. “You drive here enough. Just send me the address.”

Her voice gets small when she says, “Okay.”

“Do you want me to bring you anything? Do you need food?”

“No, I’m okay,” She tells me through a little laugh. “Just bring yourself; that’s enough.”

My chest feels weird when she says it, I’m enough. I hate that she makes me so nervous. I stumble over my words, “Uh, I can do that, definitely.”

“I’d hope so,” she laughs. “Let me know when you’re about to leave?”

“Of course.”

“Good.”

We both pause, and the silence feels deafening. The urge to let it out, I love you, is so strong, but I choke it back.

Opening the back door to the bar, I clear my throat semi-uncomfortably, “I’ll be there soon.”

“Okay,” her voice is soft. “Drive safe.”

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

I quickly find my way back behind the bar, standing close to Josh when I ask, “Hey, you’re fine closing tonight, right?”

“That is what I’m scheduled for,” he chuckles to himself. “Do you have plans?”

“I may have made some.. Like two minutes ago,” I tell him quietly, rubbing the back of my neck. He knows me a little too well.

“Yes, I can close the bar,” he says, turning to look at me. “Go get laid!”

I laugh and shove his shoulder gently, “That’s not why I’m going!”

“Are you trying to tell me it isn’t going to happen?” His eyebrow may as well be touching his hairline with how high it’s raised.

I hesitate for far too long, he’s right. Finally letting out, “..Touche. Have a good night.” Patting his shoulder a few times before saying, “Love you bub! Thank you!” and scurrying down the hall, pulling my phone out to let her know.

Me: I’m on my way

Charlotte: okay drive safe baby

The drive isn’t terribly long but, long enough for my mind to wander. They have to be right. There’s no way that we’ve hung out and spent so much time together, that she doesn’t at least have some feelings for me. The visual of her smiling at me in Salem as we went to take a picture together sits in my mind. She looked so happy, her hand gently sitting on my stomach, the way she looked at my lips to get me to fully smile for her. Maybe I am lovesick, Jesus christ.

The way she’s started just calling me pet names rather than ‘Jacob’ all the time, makes my stomach turn. Always calling me ‘baby’ and I don’t think I’ll ever get sick of hearing it. Anything if it keeps her around.

I run my hand over my face, looking down at my phone, seeing I only have a few minutes left. I turn the volume up on my music to try and just focus on driving for a second before I let her infiltrate my every thought again. ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

As I pull into her driveway, I see her standing outside at the top of the steps. The grin was already plastered on my face as I quickly parked.

“Hiii,” her sweet voice rings quietly as I walk up to her. Her arms stretch out as I get closer, leaning into me before I can climb the three steps to meet her. She wraps her arms around my neck in a hug, snuggling her face into me immediately.

“Why are you out here?” I mumble into her.

Her voice was muffled when she said, “I missed you.”

“Ohhh,” I coo. “Honey, I missed you all day.”

It feels ridiculous to say that it’s the truth, but it is. I’ve been so spoiled with her presence so much the last week that spending any amount of time away from her feels like torture. Lifting her off the step, she wraps her legs around me with a slight giggle in my ear. I tighten my arms around her; nothing feels close enough.

She leans back, looking down at me, her sweet little smile as she stares at me. Beautiful girl, I could stare at you forever. Taking a few steps up before mumbling, “Let’s get you inside. It’s too cold for this.”

She walks me through to the living room, where her laptop is still open on the coffee table. Crawling back into her spot, she pats the cushion next to her for me.

“I’m sorry. I just have a few more things I wanted to try and finish,” she tells me, sounding guilty for working. “It shouldn’t take that long.”

“You watch me work almost daily,” I laugh out. “Do what you need to; I’m happy to just keep you company.”

She spends a few minutes just clicking on different things and then copying and pasting things into emails before I finally break the silence between us.

“Okay, it is a little weird to watch you work like this,” I whisper as I watch her speedily reply to an email. My arm stretched behind her on the couch; I couldn’t stop myself from fiddling with some of her hair. Though it’s odd to see her so focused on her work, I could absolutely just sit here in comfortable silence with her.

Her soft laugh as she looked over at me, “It's a little less exciting than your job.”

“I can make it more exciting,” I tell her. It benefits me, too. Her eyebrow raises while she looks at me.

“How are you doing that?”

I can’t fight the smirk, “How many more emails do you have?”

She scrolls through quickly and looks back over at me, “Only three.”

I reach over, pulling her face to me. I pressed my lips into her bottom one, pulling it back slightly before going back in for another kiss.

“I’ll give you another one once you’re done with another email,” I whisper against her lips, feeling her smile.

I watch her frantically open another email, her eyes scanning it at a ridiculous pace. I relax into the couch more, watching whatever movie she has on the TV.

Did I selfishly decide to play this little game with her? Maybe. But also, she seemed disappointed that she had to work, so at least if I do this maybe she won’t feel like I’m upset with her.

It only takes a few minutes before her little voice chimes, “Done!” She turns to face me, this time her hands reaching out for me. She pulls herself closer, planting herself against me.

The way she’s always kissing my top lip makes my head spin. Her mouth moved against mine slowly, fighting every urge to deepen the kiss. She still has more to respond to.

I pull back, kissing the tip of her nose. Her eyes are still shut, and I swear I can’t breathe. The visual of her eyelashes against her cheeks, the little trail of freckles over her nose, those lips.

“Two more?”

She nods quickly, and we repeat the process. I watch her, typing at the speed of light until she looks over at me, ready for her reward. Letting the kiss last longer since she only has one email left.

Once she starts writing the last email, I lay back on the couch, staring at the ceiling. She has to feel similarly about me, right? She wouldn’t be so okay with this if she didn’t. My thoughts run rampant until I hear the sound of her computer shutting.

Before I can sit up, she’s crawling over me, lowering herself to kiss me a few times. She giggles in between, making my heart rattle against my chest.

“You have all my attention now,” she murmurs against me. “Actually, let me grab you a drink.” Climbing off of me, she disappears into the kitchen.

I look over to see a book on the coffee table with a bookmark hanging out of it. Reaching over and grabbing it, I look at the back cover.

Friends with benefits is written right into the description. My face heats up at the thought of her reading this and realizing that it was an option. I carefully open it to see where she is in the book without moving the bookmark. My eyes go wide when I skim through a paragraph.

‘The headboard slams against the wall, matching the rhythm of his—‘

The sound of her fridge shutting startled me; I closed the book and slid it back onto the table. Oh my god. No wonder she’s a little spitfire in bed if that’s what she’s reading. She was worried about me, but good god— I feel like I’m the one who should be scared.

“All I really have is water; I hope that’s okay,” her voice gets louder as she comes back. I sit up, watching her set it on a coaster beside her book. I just nod as she plops down next to me. She quickly pulls me closer to her, which gives me a better idea.

I pat her leg a couple of times, “Lift up for me?” As she does, I slide my hands underneath her, holding her up as I move into her spot, bringing her back down onto my lap; she curls herself into me right away. Smiling against me and pressing little kisses into the side of my neck.

“You’re so warm,” she mumbles. Nerves will do that.

I grab the throw blanket next to me, pulling it over us, “There you go. Trap all the heat in there for you.”

“You’re so nice.”

“So I’ve heard,” I giggle, raising an eyebrow at her.

She pushes my chest lightly, “You can’t use that against me!”

“I’m just stating what I was told,” I laugh out.

She tries to pout but is failing miserably when she says, “I didn’t know what else to say! Plus, you are way too sweet to me.”

What are the other reasons, then? If that was just the one she wanted to admit.

“Well,” I start. “Are there other things you would’ve said?”

Her face turned a little pink at the question, pulling her bottom lip in slightly with her teeth. “Maybe,” she lets out.

“Anything you want to tell me?”

“It could be partly because I think you’re sooo..” her voice trails off. “Handsome.” Her giggle after tells me that isn’t the word she wanted to use.

“Oh, is that right?”

“God, yes,” she breathes out. “Everything about you— your outfits, your hair, your hands.. you’re soo.. mmm.”

My head falls back onto the couch as I laugh at her, can’t say I’ve had someone spiral like that before over me. Lingering on the fact she mentioned my hands, I can’t help myself, “So.. my hands really do it for you, huh?”

Her face is bright red at this point. “I mean, I just-“

Gently, I grab her chin, making her face towards me, and press a kiss against her pouty lips. “I think it’s cute.”

“Good, because I’ve been staring at them since we met.”

That must be why her eyes light up when I wear rings.

“Anything else you wanna share? Or was that tortuous enough?” I ask.

“Mmmmm,” she hums. “I can’t give away all my secrets at once.”

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

We lay there watching whatever Hallmark Christmas movie is on, slowly sinking into the couch. I can feel her drifting off, her breathing slower as she does, but flinching and waking herself up.

“Do you want to go to bed, hun?” I whisper, not to scare her more.

She just nods, moving the blanket off of her and getting up. She looks back at me, reaching her hands out towards me.

“Will you stay?” her tired voice melts my heart.

I kiss the back of her hands before looking up at her, “Of course I will.”

She pulls me along to her room, flipping the lights off as we pass the switches. Watching her slide her leggings off, crawling into bed in just her sweatshirt and thong. Jesus Christ.

I text Josh to let him know that I won’t be home before setting my phone on her dresser and starting to undo my belt when I feel that I have an audience. I glance through my eyebrows as she’s watching me from the bed.

“Take it off, baby,” she quietly cheers, letting out a small ‘woooo!’ I try to fight the smile but can’t when she’s acting like that. I slide my pants down, folding them and setting them with my phone, but as I’m facing away from her, she pipes up again, “There it is.”

I whip my head around to her, wiggling her eyebrows at me. Her giggle rings through the room when I slide into the bed with her.

“You are a monster when you’re tired, huh?”

She scoots herself close to me, her hands sliding up my chest, her eyes hardly open as she looks at me, “I’m sorry, you’re hot, okay?”

I’ve never had someone compliment me as much as she does.

I let out a quiet ‘mmm,’ pulling her into me. Every night, I fall asleep with her, which only makes my feelings for her worse. It’s hard not to fall for her when she attaches herself to me, kissing every inch of skin she can get to. I’ve never felt this kind of love before if that’s even what this is. ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

The feeling of her turning over wakes me up, but I’m certainly not upset by it. My hand sneaks around her waist, pulling her against me, sliding my leg between hers and letting my hand slide down her leg and bring it back up to her hip.

“Mmm, hi baby,” she mumbles, turning her head to try and look at me.

I lean forward, kissing her cheek and letting out a small ‘hi honey’ before stretching to give her a small kiss. Her hand reaches up, holding the side of my face, letting her thumb rub against me gently. She presses her ass into me a little more, wiggling slightly.

I run my hand up her stomach, sneaking it underneath her sweatshirt and lightly running my thumb over her piercing, grazing her nipple slowly. It’ll always be hot that she has them pierced. Moving my hand, cupping her breast, and letting my thumb repeat the process until she lets out a quiet ‘mmm.’

Her hand moves from my face, and she snakes it behind her to slide down my stomach and into my boxers. She wraps her hand around me, slowly stroking as I’m lazily pressing kisses into her neck, just enjoying the feeling.

I move my hand to her hip, letting my hand trail over the round of her ass. Sliding the fabric to the side, my middle and ring fingers slip into her, matching the speed of her hand. Her face turns towards me again, so I push myself onto my elbow to hover over her a bit. Our lips moved against each other slowly, feeling her breath, listening to the mix of how wet she was and the quiet whimpers she was letting out into my mouth.

I feel her pushing on the waistband of my boxers, and I carefully lift myself so she can push them down. Her fingers tapped my wrist and then pulled my hand away from her gently before she brought her hand back to my cock, lining me up with her. I move my hips forward a little, pushing into her. She lets out an ‘Oh’ as my hips make contact with her ass, and I just sit there for a second, enjoying the warmth, feeling so close to her.

She starts grinding herself against me, still at a crawling pace; nothing about this sex has been rushed. Her hand found the back of my neck, pulling me back in, leaving kiss after kiss on each other, our tongues dancing between us, anything to feel as close as possible while my hips lazily thrust into her.

I lift her leg, draping it over my hips as I slide my hand down between her legs. Letting my hand just hold over her for a moment before lightly adding pressure to her clit. My hand tiredly rubbed against her, not wanting to rush anything. The way she moans into my mouth would make my knees weak.

“Baaaby,” she moans against me. “You’re so good.”

My heart pounds as she tells me, and I can’t contain the quiet moan that falls out at her praise.

“My sweet boy,” she says, moving hair out of my face for me. She mumbles, “You’re so beautiful.”

My breath catches as she says it, never having anticipated having someone call me that. Someone who looks like her, no less. I stare into her eyes for a second, even if it feels like hours, until it finally slips out, “Oh, honey.” Her lips pressed into mine, her tired smile making my heart throb. I love you, is all that I want to tell her. Endlessly, over and over, until I’m blue in the face.

Our hips start to move a little quicker against each other, so I let my hand move faster against her clit, pulling a string of moans out of her. Her back arches as I thrust into her, watching her eyes flutter shut at the feeling. I press my arm against her, sliding myself underneath her more so she’s lying on top of me, her head landing perfectly on my shoulder.

I turn, letting my lips graze the shell of her ear, “Does that feel good, hun?”

She just nods in response as my hips are thrusting up into her.

“Mm mm, use your words,” I hum out.

“Yes, baby.”

The pet name made me smile against her. I could feel the way my voice was affecting her, which made me want to keep going.

“We’re all alone, Char,” I start. “You can let it all out.” She immediately groans, her hips shifting, meeting my thrusts. “Do you need more?”

She whimpers, “Please.”

“Sit up for me,” I tell her, helping her get there with my free hand. I nudge her arm before telling her, “Touch yourself.” Her hand slides down, taking the place of where mine had been. I grip her hips before thrusting up into her, listening to the moans that are falling out of her.

“Oh my god, babe,” she lets out. “I’m so close, Jake, please.” Her head falls back as she moans my name, making my hips move faster into her. The sweet sounds of her moans as she gets closer and closer to her orgasm only encourage me to try harder.

“Come on, honey. Let me have it,” I tell her, lowering my voice. I can feel her tense up before she lets out any sounds. Her shoulders go forward as her petite frame shakes on top of me; my name litters the air as she rides out her orgasm.

She climbs off of me, getting comfortable next to me again, leaning up, pressing a slow kiss against my lips. She curls herself up, laying her head against my hip and wrapping her hand around me again. Feeling her head shift, her lips wrap around the tip of my cock, letting her tongue swirl around me for a second. She moves a little further down, still stroking me with one hand and barely bobbing her head, but god, everything she’s doing feels incredible.

My hand rests on her ass, lightly grabbing it when she moves her head more. Her hand starts moving a bit quicker, and I can feel it building up. She slides more of me into her mouth, letting her lips drag up the length of me.

“Oh god.” fell out of me; my hand gripped her tighter, which made her moan around my cock. The vibration from it made my head spin, and my whole body started to feel warm. “Char, don’t stop.”

She takes me fully into her mouth, bobbing her head a few times before I was gripping onto anything I could. Her lips slowly made their way up, and then pressed a small kiss against my stomach before looking up at me with a smile.

She slips back into bed after cleaning herself up and curls back up into me.

“3 a.m. sex was worth it,” she giggles.

Brushing loose hairs out of her face, I look at her, “Well, you started it, so I would hope.”

“Hey! You were into it,” she whisper-yells at me.

I choke back a laugh before saying, “A beautiful girl basically asking me to rail her? Yeah, like I'm gonna turn that down.”

“JACOB!”

I can’t fight the laugh when I ask, “What?”

“You started off so cute, and then Jesus Christ,” she laughs. “Also- I hardly think that counts as getting railed.”

She giggles against my lips, pressing a few kisses into me. “I rode your ass, if anything,” she taunts me quietly.

“Hey now, I was still doing things,” I tried to defend myself.

“Yes, you were, and you did a good job, baby.”

A smug little smile grows on my face, mumbling, “Thank you.”

“You’re allowed to be a pillow princess sometimes,” she whispers.

I bark out a laugh, “Oh my god. I know you like being in charge anyway; don’t act like you're mad about it.”

“It is cute when you beg me,” her eyebrows pop up a few times.

I let out a sigh, “Annnnnd, we’re done. Okay, good night!” I pull the blanket over her, blocking her face from seeing me. Thank god it’s dark because I can feel how red my face probably is.

“BABE,” she laughs out, pulling the blanket away from her face. “Ohhhh, is someone embarrassed?” teasing me once she gets a good look at me.

My eyebrows pull together as I shake my head, “Absolutely not.”

“Good, because I think it’s sexy that you’re comfortable with that stuff.”

Oh? I didn’t know that was something that would help, but I’ll take that win.

“I’m glad you think so,” I tell her.

She just nods, “Mhm. I feel like most men are too shy or uncomfortable to let their guard down on things. It’s nice that you don’t seem to mind.”

“Helps that you’re hot when you’re bossing me around so,” I tease. She pushes my chest as she laughs at me.

We lay there for a while longer, just talking about whatever came to her mind, even if I was fighting sleep the entire time. I’d listen to her talk forever if she’d let me. Eventually, she drifted off to sleep, tucking her face into me as she did. I could feel her breath get slower against my skin. I kiss the top of her head before resting my cheek against her.

God, I love you.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Chapter Twenty

FDOG Master Post | Masterlist | Playlist

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