#and yes its because she was left more up to interpretation

[canned-pears]

Aerith redesign! I took inspiration from ifalna's bell sleeves and I had this idea of aerith dressing more similarly to her as she became more acquainted with her cetra abilities. I also have this headcannon that aerith kept part of her mothers dress (the portion that's wrapped around her waist) and uses it as symbolic shield of protection as the stakes get higher. Memories are a really important thing in this game so I figure why not place emphasis on memorabilia!

My take on aerith is that she's very magical girl & disney princess-coded (not in the traditional princess sense obvi). I have issues with her portrayl sometimes, mostly just in rebirth and how she jokes abt romance all the time-but in my interpretación she's still the same just makes those jokes just more selectively. I also imagine she has more layers to her character where she is way more highly ambitious about her journey (I.e. eagerly learning about her heritage, studying to unlock new abilities, etc.)

Here is her og look & an alternative design for advent children as she goes about her time in the lifestream!

For the og look, I like to think she does in fact wear this for a good amount of time until there is a turning point (probably the visit to cosmo canyon) that influences her to change herself to the very first design in the post

[abyssalzones]

can you tell us about your interpretation of the better world universe!!!! especially curious how stan/mystery trio works into it

hell yesssss I definitely can. ABW is maybe my favorite niche gf thing and probably the only "AU" I care about but that may be due to the fact that it's an AU that exists in the canon and we know so little about it. so it has an established foundation that you're left to fill in the details with yourself... it's like a poke bowl to me. you can put anything in there

and since I felt like it here's a bonus pic of them living their best lives pestering ford

[explanation-y stuff under ze cut because I got very longwinded]

as for specifics of how I see everything working out, there's a few key points that establish why things happened differently from canon, the most important being:

Stan agrees to hide journal #3 somewhere

Ford reunites with fiddleford and they begin working together again

both of these are already confirmed in canon, the first being the most obvious "schism" between timelines. literally everything in ABW is the way it is because stan made a different decision. kind of crazy in terms of its implications: I feel like that moment in the basement is a really good example of how stan gets so few opportunities to shape her own life (while ford is in the picture...) because of her role as the 'black sheep' twin. it's not exactly a premeditated decision to push ford into the portal, it's her acting on feelings that have been bubbling unaddressed under the surface for 10-something years at that point, and only then does she have any sort of power over the "narrative" of both her life and the story itself, something that from her pov has been ford's story. and in the canon timeline, she says no.

so like, what the hell made her say yes in ABW's timeline? this question kind of haunts me because I feel like it has to be entirely dependent on what the inside of stan's head looked like at the time. it's possible something influenced her, but overall I think it's more interesting if ford did and said all the exact same things up until this point and it really was entirely dependent on stan's decision internally.

so stan says yes, goes on a big trip to the other side of the world somehow, and buries journal 3 somewhere probably never to be found again. yay! but, uh, going on a trip like ford was suggesting would... take weeks. that would leave ford alone again. and not to have my established thoughts informed by new material or anything but bill did give him 72 hours.

so, next order of business: how in the fuck would ford convince fiddleford to rejoin him??? I'm unsure between journal 3 and tbob's information how ford may have tried to reach out to him but it seems like fiddleford was pretty adamant about staying away from that guy, out of guilt or fear of bill/the portal or both. I don't think logically it would just be a matter of ford calling him enough times or finding out where he lives- and I think that's kind of getting away from the point of why ABW is the way it is too. if stan is suddenly making decisions that are influencing ford's life, I think it would be similarly interesting if fiddleford also possessed some unique autonomy in this scenario.

aka I think ford got fucked up badly (possibly involving losing an eye) and fiddleford found him half-dead while trying to burn his house down. [mabel voice] romance!

to clarify: I don't think fiddleford is obligated to take care of ford. a major part of him leaving the project was finally making the decision to leave a situation that was hurting him, that he'd been staying in entirely because he still cared about ford and felt on some level he could still help him (which gets broken with "I don't need you!") and I think that's a very reasonable decision on his part. but I also do have to think about all the times ford has been "the hero" in situations where fiddleford ends up hurt and helpless because of something traumatizing. I think it'd be fascinating to see that reversed and have fiddleford actively making the difficult, messy decision to take care of that guy even when they're on miserable terms. and so begins like a solid week of these two desperately trying to look out for eachother in a nightmare scenario where one of them probably needs to go to a hospital + keeps getting possessed off and on and the other is going through the worst addiction/withdrawal cycle of his life irt the memory gun. yay! (part of the reason this even works To Me also is heavily informed by the lack of secrets: if fiddleford is actively dressing that guy's wounds he can't really keep it all to himself anymore. crushingly intimate perhaps...)

stan gets back eventually. such is the context of this pic

from there it's a nebulous grab-bag of things I think could happen up to the foundation of the institute.

how do all three of these incredibly fucked up individuals get along? well they don't but then they do.

how do they get bill out of ford's head without performing amateur brain surgery? idk. my best guess is a fiddleford and stan bonding trip into ford's mindscape that potentially helps answer the first question. possibly utilizing the memory gun. shrugs.

what's up with that one picture you drew of parallel fidds holding the memory gun up to ford's head? well. okay that one might or might not be something that actually happened but the idea was just that ford is coping badly with a few specific things and I liked the idea of fiddleford "holding onto" something for him to remember and work through later when he's ready to deal with it, it's an interesting reversal of how he's normally more of a memory sink.

from the point in canon about them stabilizing the portal so that bill can't use it to get into their dimension anymore onward, I think it just becomes a matter of them living the lives they could've always had in canon without realizing it. hence "a better world." some cool tidbits I like to think about:

stan gets to transition much earlier (late 1990's perhaps?) and probably starts going by "lee" instead

she's also the institute's CMO and is mostly in it for going on business trips abroad with ford. and the money. obviously.

the institute probably also legitimately changes the world on a sociopolitical scale outside of just interdimensional travel since their research renders them uniquely untouchable and all three of them are trans (I'm cartoon logic-ing a little bit here just let me have this one)

ford is the eccentric bill nye esque face of the company, fiddleford is the backbone. that isn't to say ford doesn't do anything as I think he'd always moreso be in it for the science than the fame (though it is nice to be more than comfortable financially) but it's an open secret fiddleford keeps tabs on literally everything, he's still very security-oriented.

the northwest family now has a more prominent ongoing rivalry with the pines family that could be very funny to think about. they've taken all the LOGGING JOBS with their damn SCIENCE

part of the reason I thought ford should lose an eye is because I think having him wear an eyepatch would be a neat way to parallel stan's "role" as mr. mystery visually! stan wears an eyepatch for no legitimate reason to keep up appearances as a schlocky tourist trap host, but it also alludes to her being more than she seems under the surface. ford's eyepatch does sort of have a legitimate reason to exist, but he also could just wear his glass eye and it would probably be less "conspicuous." he chooses the eyepatch instead because it's part of his image as Stanford Pines, Founder of Oddology, and because it keeps him safe. there's also a little residual scarring there from damage to his eyelid/tarsal plate which could easily represent him hiding the more "damaged" aspects of himself under his successes. ouch.

I'm unsure if ford and stan would ever feel comfortable getting back in touch with their parents. I know a lot of people go that route with fan material but I don't think they should have to. I think they're much happier now having healed the rift between them on their own and getting to live successful lives for themselves, rather than to prove something to their father.

that being said I do think fiddleford gets in touch with emma-may and his son again and they end up on better terms with time and a Lot of effort. tate's family is now composed of his father, mother, "uncle" ford (in the ye olde gay closeted sense of referring to your dad's partner as an uncle), and auntie lee, and I like to think they go out on trips to the lake together often :]

also ford and fiddleford tie the knot unofficially (in the eyes of the government anyway) in 1990. owed to stan somehow getting "ordained" as a rabbi. don't ask me how.

the pines twins start visiting the institute from a younger age than they do irt visiting stan in the show-- but they're only permitted to come along on heavily-supervised interdimensional excursions once they turn 12. cue antics!

anyway, hopefully this extremely longwinded and loosely structured mess helped answer your question. I like ABW sooo so so much you guys

[dolicekiss]

Good afternoon/morning!

If you are still taking requests, I'd love to ask if you could maybe do a yandere Hannibal x reader (female if that would be okay) one-shot where the reader is one of Hannibals favourite patients (maybe shes a writer who gets alot of nightmares or something).

However, during one of their sessions, she reveals that she is withdrawing as she is moving back to Europe (this obvi messes up whatever plans Hannibal had for her). Perhaps she is moving away because she has realised how dangerous Hannibal really is and does not want to get involved.

It would be interesting to see how you would interpret Hannibals' thoughts, feelings, and next plan of action after hearing such daunting news.

Thank you <3

♡: i hope i did this justice

Shattered Dreams

PAIRING: Yandere!Hannibal X Patient!Reader

CONTENT WARNING: yandere hannibal, implied stalking, coercion, manipulation, mention of death, trauma, nightmares, mind games, mention of blood

Draped in a beautiful silk dress, a cashmere coat over your shoulders, your presence was loud and evident in Hannibal Lecter’s office.

You reminded him of him.

Charming, sophisticated, beautiful and completely enthralling. He knew somewhere he was too similar to you and that resonated with him. An attachment had already formed, an ethical sort of attachment which could put his career into danger

Yet he found himself not caring.

His main focus was you.

He often found himself imagining you by his side, as his other half. His soulmate, the only one for him and solely the mere imagination pleased him but it worked to increase his hunger too.

Anytime a patient other than you would show up, he'd have a scowl on his face and tend to their needs like he was being held at gun point.

But when you'd come.

It was like fucking spring had arrived in his office. Flowers blooming, radiance everywhere and even your scent was sweet like floral.

Here you were, once more in his office to converse about the demons that haunted you. Hannibal was the best at his job, too good but deep down, you'd already caught whiff of the danger that he was and could amount to.

He scared you.

No matter how many sweet smiles he'd sent you, the amount of terms of endearment he'd use to address to you — none of it concealed the monstrosity he harbored inside him. You'd captured it and now you were in a dilemma.

Whether to leave or tell the law enforcement.

You inhaled sharply and then slowly exhaled, a breathing exercise Hannibal had taught you to help you regulate your breathing.

“Everything alright, miss?” His gruff voice pulled you back into reality and you nodded your head quickly, not wanting him to know that you knew about his depraved instincts.

You smiled softly. “Yes.”

“Did you have nightmares again?”

“Yes.” You responded truthfully. “It does not matter how many books I write, how many characters I kill, there seems to be no end to these nightmares.”

Your nightmares stemmed from an accident you'd faced as a child. The only survivor were you, the only kin left while the rest of your family had died. Right before your very gaze.

It did not matter how much sleeping pills you took or how much coffee you drank. As soon as you'd fall into a slumber, the haunting eyes of your deceased mother would always stare back at you — lifeless and soulless.

And no matter how many times you dreamed of the bloody incident, you did not find yourself forgetting about them. You wanted to forget it, blur out the faces of your famo members but as each day passed by, it only grew more vivid and clear.

Its like your brain was working in reverse.

“Have you tried what I asked you to do?”

You looked up at him.

There it was, that smile of his.

It had nearly worked to trap you.

But you caught onto the danger looming beneath him. You were no foreigner to danger and Hannibal Lecter was a blood thirsty man who killed, killed and savored. You had no desire to end up as his meal. Or buffet.

“I need to tell you something.”

When you'd uttered those words out, Hannibal could already sense something wasn't right. You didn't appear as your usual self. You were rather, chatty and spoke to him about your problems. Worked together as a team to cure this plague that had jeopardized your sleep.

But today you were different.

Quiet, reserved, hands stable and placed over your knees.

Hannibal gestured for you to go ahead.

“I have decided to move to Europe.” You broke the news with a deep breath. Fingers bending and nails grazing across the fabric of your dress.

Hannibal tilted his head in confusion.

Akin to a puppy.

He didn't see any problem with your sessions nor did he find you troublesome. He was sure you also liked him, as your therapist but you did. There was some sort of fondness, between the two of you. There had to be. You were his favorite, you'd become a part of him without even realizing or intending to do so and now you wanted to leave?

Leave him?

There was not a corner in the world made for you to hide from him. Anywhere you'd go, he would find you.

Hannibal blinked, the darkness within him clawing at him, clawing for you. Commanding him over and over again to offer you drugged wine and take you so you wouldn't leave for Europe.

He put on a polite smile, hoping that would veil the darkness in him. “May I ask why?”

Your lips shuddered. “For a change. I think moving away from here would be better since my whole family died here, maybe the nightmares will stop occurring.”

Those nightmares might stop occurring but the nightmare Hannibal was about to become wouldn't stop.

You noticed the subtle change in his gaze and shifted in your seat, uncomfortable and uneasy.

Hannibal nodded, feigning understanding but he was all over the place. Everything was under his control — every damn thing since the beginning. How did he begin to lose control? There was absolutely no way he could let you move to Europe, let you get far away from him where he can't bask in the vision of you.

He would go to the ends of the Earth just to catch a mere glimpse of you.

He had to coax you out of this. Use coercion into making you stay here for the rest of your life.

Hannibal had plans for you.

Big plans.

He was going to make you his, bring you closer to him, unveil a part of him that no one had ever seen before.

He'll he'd fucking told you about Mischa today and no one knew about her. He had shown you parts of him no one had seen and now you were going to abandon him? Take those parts of him witj you and leave him empty, fucking lonely and abandoned?

Oh Hannibal was not going to let that happen.

He nearly felt angry.

Rage bubbling up inside him but he controlled it, calming it down.

“You have a life here, miss. A proper life; friends, colleagues, relatives. Don't you think abandoning it all would be a bit too extreme and intense, even for you?”

You bit on your lower lip.

In a way he was right.

Your whole life you had lived it here. Friends, closest of closest, relatives — the only blood relation left after the demise of your own and colleagues. It was all too difficult to leave them behind but fear was a tool which worked to push people to do things they never would've even thought about.

You swallowed. “I know, Doctor Lecter but these nightmares haunt me. These memories do not disappear, so it is better that I leave.”

Hannibal started to play with his hands.

They sat comfortably over his knees and all he could do was toss and turn his fingers, scratch his palm, the only way to actually show the unbridled emotion he was overwhelmed with. Yet his face carried a sweet smile like he was completely happy and supportive of your decision.

Hannibal saw how your lips shuddered when you spoke. They often shuddered when you'd lie in the beginning about your feelings, about how you did not miss your deceased family one bit.

He wondered if you were lying.

His own fingers tracing along his lips.

“Have you thought about where you'd go to? I mean, Europe is a vast place.” Hannibal commented and you swallowed, in a dilemma whether you should reveal your whereabouts or not.

It was a country.

A huge country.

He couldn't actually find you there, right?

“France.” You said, with a subtle smile on your face.

You wanted to get out of your comfortable seat, go home, pack your bags, board the plane and never look back. The man sitting before you was a killer, a cannibalistic serial killer and you didn't allow that to sink it at all in his presence.

Afraid your demeanor would break.

It would shatter and he'd capture you.

Hannibal grinned.

That was all he needed.

“Marseille is a beautiful city.” Hannibal said while his hawk like gaze analyzed your facial expressions.

Nothing.

You nodded in agreement. “So I've heard.”

“And Lyon too. I've been there.” He said, standing up from his couch and moving over to stand by his wooden desk. When he mentioned Lyon, not a single crease formed on your face nor did your lips shiver.

So it wasn't Lyon either.

Hannibal was viciously smart and he was going to find the city you were going to settle in sooner or later. “Nice has beautiful art. You should go there too.”

Your face scrunched up.

Hannibal caught that. The little crease of discomfort forming in your forehead and a feeling of satisfaction spread in his insides.

You were moving there.

“I think I should go now, Doctor Lecter.” You said, standing up when you realized your session had ended a long time ago.

This was the last session you'd ever share with him.

Hannibal walked towards you, hand extended out. “It was nice having you as my patient, sweetheart. Hopefully your nightmares will slowly disappear with time.”

Even though it was a goodbye, it did not feel like it.

Your gaze dropped down to his hand and you nodded, taking his hand and shaking it. His hold grew a little firm but you didn't say anything, slowly releasing his hand and retrieving it. “Thank you, Doctor Lecter. For all your help.”

He grinned as he watched you turn around and leave his office.

This was not going to be the last time you'll see of the man and he'll make sure of that.

Hannibal licked his lips. The sound of the door shutting putting a crack in his heart — his chest aching for a glimpse of you but he knew this wasn't the end. There was more, with him, there was always more.

You could not escape this easily.

— ♡ —

Months had passed.

You were still adjusting your life in this new country, surrounded by new people who speak a completely different language but you were still learning.

Your nightmares had deceased greatly by spending time in a foreign country and in a way, you were thankful for Hannibal. Because of him you'd abandoned your birth place — which honestly plagued you.

There was nothing left for you there.

Only bad memories and horrific nightmares.

You'd forgotten about nearly everything in that country except a certain blonde; Hannibal Lecter.

He still haunted you.

After that last session, you never possibly heard from him ever again. You met a man too, who claimed to have feelings for you but the next day he was reported for bad behavior against women. They had removed him from your workplace.

You felt a little sad that a man like that had shown interest in you.

Still, life was getting better and better.

You were still writing and had signed a deal with a new publishing house but other than that, you gave lectures at a university for your own knowledge and sake.

Your life felt like it had finally fallen into place.

“They have a new lecturer, have you seen him?” A female colleague asked and you looked up at her from your laptop. You shook your head.

The woman smiled. “Well, he'll be here soon. He's done PHD and has a masters degree too.”

You blinked a little but then went back to typing on your laptop, finishing the last chapter of your book. Break was finished after a few minutes but this time instead of heading back to your class, you were told to head to the office and give the new lecturer a tour.

Apparently he was a big deal, someone who had studied the human mind through and through.

You made your way to the office, opening the door with a smile. The dean sat there but the familiar mop of blonde slicked back hair caught your attention more — your fingers tightening around the metal hold of the door.

He turned around and with a smile, greeted you. “Hello, sweetheart.”

Hannibal was in Nice, in your university, as a lecturer.

Your face went pale.

Was there truly no escape from him?

[bonefall]

I've never understood why people wholly blame Maple for making the clan think her kits were Birchface's. I mean, I'll admit it's been AGES since I read MV (or any actual WC book lmao) but I swear she did nothing to start it? Frecklewish just Assumed they were Birchface's for whatever reason and Mapleshade just didn't confirm or deny. A lie by omission, if still a big one. But people act like its some vile, actively manupulative lie from Maple alone??? like yeah its manipulative but A. who cares let her girlboss and B. it entirely started with Frecklewish assuming??? it wasn't even Mapleshade's idea in the first place???????

You're correct; it was a lie of omission, completely suggested by Frecklewish. Mapleshade didn't fabricate this lie.

In fact, something often left out of discussions about Mapleshade's Vengeance is that it decided she was VERY pious. In the early half of MV, she believes that it's StarClan that's providing all these opportunities for her.

She thinks she's special, that her kittens are destined to bring peace to their two halves, and that the code applies more loosely to her because she so strongly believes she's right and that her love is beautiful. I think it's meant to come across as Mapleshade being "delusional" and disconnected with reality, but I can't help but feel like a fair amount of it is naivety.

Mapleshade is quiet, and Frecklewish rolls into a long, earnest monologue, thanking her for giving her hope with her brother's kittens. It reads to me like Frecki was in a depression after Birchface's death, and being able to help raise her nespring is like being given a new purpose in life.

It's gutwrenching on both ends, for me. Mapleshade is actually super uncomfortable several times around her "in-laws" during these lies, like she knows that she's in a dangerous position, and never really wanted them around to begin with. She clearly doesn't like Frecklewish very much and is actively intimidated by Oakstar. She doesn't WANT to have to lie forever, she eventually wants it to be known they're halfclan.

(and... why shouldn't she want that? This law SUCKS and it SHOULD be challenged. I'll go to bat for Silverstream and I'll go to bat for Mapleshade too.)

But meanwhile, Frecklewish in particular is being mislead. This means everything to her, it gave her a purpose when her brother had been taken from her, she thinks Birchface is living on and that Mapleshade shares in her grief. But it's a lie, Mapleshade doesn't want her anywhere near her children, and at the end of the day her love of these kittens is being exploited for their safety.

So... yes. It is manipulative, but the alternative was to actively tell Frecklewish NO and open up more questions about who the possible father was. Mapleshade is in a dangerous situation and she interpreted the opportunity as StarClan providing a way for her kittens to become accepted by their Clanmates.

I just find this situation is compelling. And they're both neat

[anonymouscheeses]

Im sorry i have to say it..: Get Your Hands Dirty sounds like a love song.

HEAR. ME. OUTT!! (No i dont mean a love song between Chloe n Ella omg 😭)

What I'm implying here is that it sounds like one of those niche high school love stories when one of the lovers(most likely a goodie two-shoes) goes to their mentor/parent/even the person their loving/etc to ask for advice on relationships. Or more specifically, if this person is worth it or even a good person. From the top of my head: I Won't Say (I'm In Love) and the goodie and the wildchild dynamic is pretty similar to Gabriella and Troy from hs musical, which iws(iil) kinda inspired this post tbh but also ive been thinking about this ever since i first watched the movie. (You plop in ur own songs, i js KNOW this trope exists)

Now that we've established the well used niche trope existing in this niche song made by the niche king that is Disney.... why do i think that Get Your Hands Dirty is a love song, i hear?

Lets analyze THE LYRIICS 😈😈

"Right and wrong, cruel and kind, who's to say?" "There's a code that I believe in."

"Robin Hood" "yeah?" "Awesome guy" "yeah!"

"Every choice, you're gonna find there's shades of grey." "There are rules for a reason!"

"So you could then cross that line, theoretically."

"You'd agree?" "But he stole for the poor."

"The decision's always up to you. When there's only one thing left to do"

"I don't know you anymore.."

Okay, so i shortened and made it tiny for obvious reasons, that bein its too long 😭 so! AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO GETS A FEEELIN?? a feelin that this is SCREAMING denial?! Its giving...

Chloe: Ellaaaa.... this girl im talkn to is SOOO HHHOOOOTT and PRETTY and cool and stuff but ugh.... SHE EEEVILLL!!

Ella: oh my gosh.. STFU. Shes prolly not even that evil ill prove it smh..

*get ur hands dirty starts playing. No exaggeration. No cap.*

"Okay, but there's some universal truths you must recognize." "Like?"

"Valiant knights, pure and good, guaranteed" "That depends on what they're fighting for"

"Creepy witches selling potions for evil deeds" "She could have kids she's providing for"

"If your good-good things will come to you"

MORE denial, Chloe wants to be friends with Red SO bad she looks stupid, but she brings herself back by trying to prove to herself that she's evil and they SHOULDN'T be that close. Which also is a big sign of comphet and heteronormativity, i would know 🧍 (which is a post for another day i might make. Prolly 2 prove that Chloe is a lesbian in deep comphet)

"But just how far do you go? How much do you compromise? Oh, tell me, how do you know. Where do you draw the line?"

"There's nothing I wouldn't do. If my heart tells me it's right. If it's for someone I love. If it's to save a life."

"To save your life."

Further deepening the trope i mentioned. The first line could be interpreted as a double meaning since the song is kind of mostly about Chloe coming to terms with the fact Red isn't really evil or as bad as she thought, plus the argument of where the line between evil and good is. It could refer to Red or Ella, maybe both, but Ella changes the meaning with her own experiences so it drifts off the focus from Red because we cant have ANYTHING 🤧 but i still believe Chloe intended it to be for Red since the entire song is really just for the progress of their relationship n stuff.

Now this could definitely all be in my head, yes, Disney would most likely NEVER canonize or even imply heavily a queer relationship or anything lgbtq on a pre established franchise (cowards.). But there is always a chance.... deep inside the dark heart of the mouse..

Plus, with the subtle hints here and there of Red and Chloe's relationship growing, romantically or not, they are still super close and love eachother alot. Chloe is js (kinda) canonically a girl kisser who cant help but find a girl kissable (same)

And don't get me started on this movie and its obsession with love and proving how it is not "ain't it". Hello...? They set the tone of love, but i see NO person close enough to Red established for this message (other than Chloe) and if they introduce some random guy in the next movies, NO ONE would care nor would they want it unless somehow its 100x better than redcharming, but thats impossible cz wlw 4 life.

So, this entire thingy is me basically finding scraps and wanting to provr that charminghearts IS canon and WILL be established soon! (Im delulu)

[monarch-of-weird-girlboy-nation]

A Jason Grace Analysis 

While my Jason fics relies on mainly interpretation and headcanons, this one’s mostly going on the limited list of Jason’s life from the books. YOU’RE ALLOWED TO DISAGREE WITH ME,JUST DO IT RESPECTFULLY IN THE COMMENTS. be nice pls.

Spoiler alert 🚨 (for PJO, HOO and TOA)

Jason Grace is a character who was, in a way, screwed over by Rick during his writing of Heroes of Olympus and eiDzgventually Trials of Apollo. His story was very sad, but never explored to its fullest potential and in some cases didn’t make sense. He’s a character who is seen as ‘boring’ by the fandom, which , in a way, makes sense. Uncle Rick didn’t do him justice, so I’m here for a Jason Grace analysis.

Firstly, Jason’s incredibly depressing life. Because I do not know what vendetta that Rick had against my boy, but I would argue his story is the most tragic of everyone in the books. Yes. Even Nico. 

Jason’s mother was an unhinged alcoholic who was obsessed with fame. For the first 2 years of his life, he was basically looked after by his sister, who was also a young child. As hard as Thalia tried, she probably wasn’t the best caregiver on account of her age. His mother was unstable, which has got to leave some scars, even if you’re a young kid, because you still know what’s going on to some extent. And Jupiter seemed to leave the family to their own devices after a while, not even staying for a kid. So Jason has been basically abandoned, keep track of how often that happens. 

Then Jason was abandoned again, this time by his mother, left as a sacrifice for Hera. And he wasn’t sacrificed just anywhere, he was left at the Wolf House, where Lupa tested him to see if he was ‘pup or food’. So Jason, at two years old, was tested by a Wolf Goddess, a ruthless one at that, who threatened to kill him if he didn’t live up to expectations. Just a great environment for a toddler to live in. And while the time he spends in the Wolf House is unspecified, the general consensus is that it was for a year or two. This is more of a headcanon, but the implications of ‘pup or food’ could show that he stayed with her longer than the average Roman demigod. In SoN, it’s shown that most demigods do their Wolf House training for like, a week. And the training sounds harsh when Percy, age 16 does it. So imagine a 2 year old, going through that, constantly. Then he is off to New Rome. 

In HoO, it’s pointed out that Jason has 12 lines of his forearm for his years of service in New Rome. 12 lines representing 12 years of service.

Jason has been serving 12 years of military service since he was around 3. So that means that this literal infant is just… in the military. How does that work? Was baby Jason just running around in little armour? Was he doing the same drills as other kids when he was much, much younger? Also the fact that in Camp Jupiter, you train for 10 years, then go to live in New Rome. But Jason has been serving for longer than that, with 2 extra years. It seemed like he wasn’t going to retire anytime soon in the books, so that also adds some mystique to his character that was never explored.

Then we move into the other things at Camp Jupiter, which is that Jason was treated like a statue or a star, instead of a person. Hazel says that he is ‘more legend than boy’ which is so sad! This kid, this 15 year old is seen by those around him as a hero, a legend to look up to. Did Jason have any other friends? While Reyna seems to be close, Reyna had a crush on him, and while he didn’t know that, it must have made the friendship a bit… different. Jason isn’t specified to have any other friends in the books, probably because everyone was to in awe of his status as a Son of Jupiter. And while Jason may care about the rules, in Roman terms he was a very radical person. He was just trying to live a calm life, to not be known only as the Son of Jupiter. He joins the least respected cohort. He tries to take less important quests. But it doesn’t work, because he does get assigned big quests and while he is in the 5th cohort, people still treat him like a legendary hero instead of just a guy. And while the phrase ‘victim of nepotism’ is quite controversial, I think that Jason actually fits that bill.

Then we come to SoN. You know that tweet that’s like: hey we’re calling off the search party. we found a different guy out there we like more. That’s what Camp Jupiter did to Jason. Again, he was abandoned, this time by his own Camp. Like I know 8 months is a while, but oh my gosh, do we have to elect a new praetor? There’s also a contradiction. Percy is a Greek demigod, which isn’t a thing the Roman’s really like. Yet after a couple weeks at Camp, he’s already a PRAETOR? While Jason was put down for being ‘unrecognisable as a Roman’, they elected a very Greek person as a praetor? He was immediately accepted into the highest position of power? Also the fact that Jason wasn’t looked for. At all. While CHB was scrambling to find their boy (as they should), no one in CJ cared? Like, aren’t they the ones with the giant searching eagles? It seemed like everyone forgot about him, with him being missing not being a huge thing for most people (except Hazel and Reyna to my memory, fill me in if anyone else gave two frogs) and that’s gotta sting. The knowledge that your entire camp not only replaced you, but didn’t bother to look. 

Jason also had amnesia and never regained huge chunks of his memory. That must be horrible, to have parts of your life gone, to not remember much. While Percy got everything back, Jason got so much less!

Jason goes on the quest, then comes back. He goes to CHB, goes to school. He starts having a normal life. And he gets broken up with, making him genuinely sad. And while I know that Piper had no ill intentions whatsoever when she broke up with him, that also could count as an abandonment. Because they don’t really keep in touch in the book, they seem to go their separate ways. So kinda half of an abandonment, even though both parties weren’t in blame.

Finally we have his death. While Thalia got turned into a tree by Zeus, a slightly caring act for a god, Jason died. This could be because Jupiter is crueller than Zeus or it could be because of the cycle of patricide, with Jupiter killing his father, who did the same to his father. Maybe it’s because of his paranoia. Maybe it’s because Jason called Jupiter unwise, but it still counts as an abandonment. The god saved Thalia (she could be seen as non threatening, not a killer. Not someone who could carry on the tradition of son killing father) and abandoned Jason, left him to die the ‘heroes death’. 

Jason’s life has been one big struggle and rejection. 4.5 times, he was abandoned, left somewhere by someone. Left to die in the end. He was a child soldier, meaning that he was a kid that never got to be a kid, just a tool for the gods, for years and years. And he struggled with making friends, making new rules, trying to push the camp into the future. Seen as unroman, even Reyna says it. That’s an awful life, one that Rick Riordan never explored and one that’s contradicted at times.

Jason was a character that Rick dropped the ball on so hard.

Because, while his life is incredibly difficult, it has so much potential for storytelling, that Rick  dashes on the rocks, leaving the fandom with a character who people acknowledge as weak and boring.

So, in the fandom, Jason is regarded as having no personality, or being a knock off Percy. So, Jason not really having a huge personality, as a kid who trained as a soldier from a young age, makes sense. He was spending half his childhood trying to survive so trying to figure out what MBTI type he was may have fallen low on his list of priorities. Then he got amnesia, and sent on the Seven quest. So Jason not having time to develop a sense of personality makes sense, buts here’s the catch. It’s never explored. Rick never, ever explains why that might be happening, which could make for a compelling story arc. Rick never expands on the child soldier thing at all, which sucks because instead of Jason having an identity crisis about Greek and Roman camps, he could be really weird since he’s a child soldier. (I’m aware that they’re all child soldiers, but I refer to Jason as child soldier since he was just a baby when he started)

And the seeds were there. For example, the scene with Jason being wary about Nico and not wanting to rescue him, that could have been Jason being taught that practicality is key. That some people are expendable. He could have learnt that from the ARMY THAT HE GREW UP IN. That could have been a plot point, that Jason struggles with taking breaks or knowing that’s he’s appreciated, that his childhood was abusive and not normal, that life isn’t a constant battle for survival. That could have been his arc! All of the pieces were right there! Rick, dude, you’re a great author, but you fumbled so hard on this one!

And also the fact that… unpopular opinion time….

Jason wasn’t stronger than Percy, but he should have been.

Jason has been in the army since he was a toddler, and I know that Percy’s really powerful, but come on! Jason being this really nice, really powerful kid with super strong powers and no social skills could have slayed. Maybe this is the inner Jason stan in me, but I personally think that Jason should have been stronger than Percy, simply because it makes more sense. Jason has been training for ages and ages, he single handedly fought a Titan at younger than Percy (around 14 or 15) so it seemed like his powers were muted by Rick. This could probably be because the PJO fandom is like a toxic TikTok boy mom when it comes to Percy (I can be like this too), making him centre stage and getting annoyed when he isn’t. Percy is meant to be the strongest, which isn’t bad, in some situations it just doesn’t fit. Or maybe Percy’s just wildly OP.

This is not to say that in the book Jason was weak, but people treat him like that.

And Jason’s really sad life is never explored! He should have been struggling with 1500 mental illnesses at once because that constant abandonment? The stress of everyone’s expectations? Trying not to die at like 4? He’s neither the eldest nor a girl, but he’s got so much eldest daughter syndrome and is burnt out gifted kid syndrome personified. And it’s hardly touched on! 

There’s also the fact that’s a really small nitpick, but, the fact that Jason only has 1 single lip scar? That shows that Rick wasn’t paying attention to his own character. Jason trained with the Wolf Goddess then was in the army, he should be covered in them.

In conclusion, Jason’s very sad and tragic story was hardly utilised and the very interesting parts of his character were not used in a way they could be. But don’t worry Jason. While Rick Riordan may have flopped you, you are one of my favourite characters.

Peace ☮️

[theobsessedcookiefan]

This is the end, I leave it to free interpretation

:ﾟ･*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

❀•°•═════ஓ๑♡๑ஓ═════•°•❀

- "I was fine with her acting as if I was not a big thing, she was my creator after all, she was who decided my fate, who chose what I should do, how should I act.. What I should be. But when these feelings started to bloom like white camellias petals inside of me I couldn't take it anymore, I wanted her to look at me like I looked at her, like I meant the world." - He knew that those foolish dreams were almost impossible for him to reach, what would you even see in him? He was simply inferior, you were incredible in his eyes, a perfect example of a goddess.

And you had so much to do to notice the growing feelings of one of your creations, you were someone busy, always finding something to do, baking new cookies, casting more spells to help them with their world, why would you worry about one in a million? Besides, since that failed spell he barely talked to you anymore, he was going to make that spell work even if it took a month or all his life.. Even if it meant messing with Crescent Moon Magic.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

A few weeks passed by, the cookie's absence was starting to feel concerning to you, in your mind you could only regret that choice of words, of course you cared about him, not in the way a pet owner cares about their pet, you actually cared about him. It was a complicated feeling? Yes it was, you're supposed to be a witch for god's sake! Some of you even ate their creations and you? You were caring about the thought of hurting the feelings of one of yours! Gosh you were pathetic, even your teacher would be disappointed if she saw your predicament. With a sigh you left the book you were reading in the table of your tower, giving the window a quick glance, the moon was in its most dangerous phase, a crescent moon, you knew that moon magic was really powerful but you also knew the consequences of using it; it could end in your perdition, your soul would end up corrupting itself. You shook your head before looking outside the window, trying to get a better view of the forest beneath you, it was always calming to hear the sound of the rustling leaves and maybe.. just maybe.. No, you couldn't continue with that mindset, instead you wanted to see if you could get a glimpse of the cookie village nearby.

A couple hours later you could finally hear the portal being activated, it was him! Finally, the thought of seeing that blue cookie again gave your heart a warm feeling that you dismissed as it being relief. - "Finally! I was starting to wonder if you crumbled." - You joked a bit, trying to lighten up the mood before looking at the portal, but what you saw made your heart sink, Blueberry Milk was there yes but looked terrible, the noticeable eye bags and lack of sleep made you wonder what he had been up to. Even with that terrible look his eyes sparkled at seeing you like always, he was terrible at hiding his feelings but you were no better at getting them. - "I figured it out!" - He spoke excitedly, walking over to you and asking to be lifted up to eye level to which you complied, taking him carefully into your hands and slowly lifting him until you two could talk eye to eye. - "You did? What exactly did you figure out?" - It was a genuine question, he always had been so curious that even discovering how the fire worked would make him happy and excited. - "The spell didn't work because I wasn't compatible with it, but I was researching and found out this other spell, can.. Can I try again?" - That begging tone of his always made you lose it, it was easy giving in to him, so you agreed with a nod of your head, oh if only you could know what that simple nod makes his heart race like.

- "Okay! Be prepared alright?" - Blueberry Milk gave you a smile as he prepared himself, starting to cast that spell in a low voice, for a few minutes nothing happened and that made you smile softly at him, this time you weren't going to be that rude and risk your friendship. - "Oh don't worry, if the spell is old it's probably trash- I'm sure you'll manage to do it some day." - He was a bit disappointed but your reassuring made him feel a bit less of a failure. Then you felt it, a sharp pain in your chest, it was as if you were being stabbed with a needle in it.. What? Why were you feeling it? He was supposed to cast the spell in himself.. Wasn't he?. At the sight of your pained expression he spoke again, getting closer again with his hands together in a pleading manner. - "Is it working? Please tell me it is.." -

Finally something came into your mind, you heard of a spell that some witches used to connect with their creations better, a spell that managed to turn the witches into cookies, was he doing that? No.. It required the strong magic of a witch or a dark oath to do so, one like- all the pieces clicked together as the light of the crescent moon entered your room and the pain intensified, it all made sense, why he had waited until today, why he looked so sick. With your eyes wide open you managed to find your voice to speak in a whisper. - "You used the the Crescent Moon Magic so the spell could work?.. It's dangerous!" - You said, trying to make him see reason but your words lost strength as you did as well, your eyes closing against your will. - "I know it sounds bad but that way we can actually be together! Doesn't it sound fantastic? I could even show you around" - He spoke dreamily, sounding as if nothing wrong was happening, like he hadn't just corrupted himself, he knew about the risks? Yes of course, but he didn't care anymore, if his soul was the price to pay to be with you he would gladly take it.

❀•°•═════ஓ๑♡๑ஓ═════•°•❀

Funfact: white camellias mean adoration.

[nishisun]

2. How you met him & how he broke your heart.

A/N: THIS WHOLE CHAPTER IS A FLASHBACK! OKAY OKAY SO, YES, THIS IS AN SMAU, BUT ITS GONNA HAVE MORE WRITTEN PARTS 😁

NOTE (2024): this was made over 4+ years ago when i was a beginner writer so the writing is pretty much horrible. but im feel nostalgic and this has been sitting for the drafts for years that i thought, why not post? anways pls enjoy my very mediocre attempt at writing. there’s multiple parts so ill post until there are none anymore

flashback.

On December 21, your parents told you that they were separating. Your father claimed he fell out of love with your mother and already had a family in the US. You were devastated, to say the least. But mostly, you were confused. How could he? How could he do this to you, your sister, and your mother? They seemed so happy together. They never argued, well, not in front of you and your sister at least. They were the perfect couple. You looked up to them. You wanted to have what they had with your future significant other, and now your parents were telling you that they are separating because your father fell out of love?

pitiful.

Your father said he was leaving to go to the states in 6 months. Out of anger, your mother decided it was best to move, without leaving a trace of your father. She called this a clean slate. Moving meant you had to transfer schools. You were a third year, who was now going to be attending Itachiyama Institute, while your younger sister who was still in junior high was attending Okojo Middle School. Still, you couldn’t believe it. Your own father, the person you looked up to the most, was abandoning you, your mother, and your sister. Why weren’t you guys good enough for him? How come it’s so easy for him to leave? It just wasn’t fair.

What is love? Well, there are many ways to interpret the word “love”. When we love someone we experience positive thoughts and experiences with them bur we also experience a deep sense of care and commitment towards that person. Love means to be deeply committed and connected to someone or something. The feeling of love should be mutual with you and your significant other.

You loved Sakusa Kiyoomi. He was your first love.

You remembered the day you met. It was your first day at Itachiyama Institute  and your previous school was Nekoma High. You were the manager for Nekoma’s volleyball team, which meant that you’d go with them to practice camps, games, and you’d stay after school hours to help out, which was why you were so close to Kenma and Kuroo. You met Kenma and Kuroo when you were a first year, you and Kenma were in the same class and you volunteered to be a manager for the volleyball team, which resulted to you becoming bestfriends with Kenma and Kuroo. You both were now finally third years, Kenma was captain of the team after Kuroo left and Kuroo couldn’t have been more proud. At first, Kenma didn’t want to be the captain because he claimed it was “too much work”, but once you and the other team members forced convinced him to try it out, he ended up loving it.

Your first day at Itachiyama was okay, you didn’t talk much, or really make new friends. It was the same old, you’d introduce yourself in front of the class, then they’d greet you and ask you questions on how your previous school was or why you moved. At lunch, you sat outside, alone, until you saw two boys walk in front of you. One was wearing a mask and the other was smiling and waved at you.

“Hello! My name is Komori Motoya and this is my cousin. We have class together, right?” he said as he brought his right arm out, offering to shake yours.

“Oh, um yes, we do! Hi Komori, my name is L/N Y/N.” you said, shaking his hand. Once you both let go you looked at Komori’s cousin who was standing next to him, but was slightly behind him.

“You must be Sakusa Kiyoomi, right?” you said walking towards him. He didn’t say anything, he just nodded while his hands were placed in his pockets.

“Uh, how did you know that?” Komori asked as he chuckled, scratching the back of his head.

“Well, I know your name too. I’ve seen you and your team play! You guys are really good.” you explained, Komori shook his head in excitement.

“Oh, really? Are you into volleyball? Do you play?” He asked.

“Well, I’m not really good at it. I used to play in junior high, but I stopped once I got into high school. I love watching the games though! I was the team manager at my previous school.”

“Really? That’s amazing! Our team is looking for a team manager! You should really apply, i’m pretty sure the coach would be happy.” Komori said.

“Oh! Well, that’s great! I’ll check definitely come visit tomorrow after school.” You said as you started to pack your things because lunch was ending soon.

“That’s great y/n!” he said, “Well, we’ll see you around in class.”

“Yeah, bye!” You waved at the two and they waved back.

“Everyone, gather around! Meet the new addition to the managers for the team! The coach said.

“My name is L/N Y/N! I’m new here and I just transferred from Nekoma High!” you said, bowing your head. Some of the teammates were whispering once they heard you mention Nekoma. “I’m hoping to get to know you all better! I’ve seen you guys play before and it’s an honor to be working with you all! you said.

“she talks a lot.” Sakusa thinks, having a bored look on his face and makes a mental note of this.

“Trust me y/n, the pleasure is ours!” the coach chuckles.

You suddenly realize how the gym is full of boys who are basically towering over you and awkwardly laugh back, followed by an awkward silence. You then remembered about the homemade granola you had made for the team, which you had been carrying this whole time.

“Oh! I almost forgot! I made some homemade granola bars to show my gratitude towards you all.” You started to pass the bars out to each team member as they thanked you and praised you for how good the bars tasted. You were making your way to give a bar to the last person who hasn’t received it yet, which was Sakusa Kiyoomi.

He was taller than his other teammates, wearing a mask and it almost seemed as if he was giving you a look of disgust, judging by the way his face was scrunched up. He looked intimidating, but you didn’t want to judge someone off of their looks, so you walked up to him and tried to start a conversation with him.

“Hello, Sakusa! I just wanted to thank you and Komori for coming up to me yesterday. It meant a lot considering the fact that I was new and i’m not very good at making friends-“

“You talk a lot.” Sakusa interrupted, his cousin heard him since he wasn’t that far away from you both and quickly walked up to him.

“Sakusa! It wouldn’t hurt you to be nice and not so upfront all the time!” his cousin said.

“I’m kidding!” sakusa says to his cousin, shaking his head and chuckles, then turns back to you.

“I’m kidding,” He repeats once again, “Sorry that I wasn’t really talking yesterday. I’m not good with people either.” He says and you both laugh. “I’m pretty sure you’re the person i’m supposed to be showing the school around to tomorrow.”

“Oh, yeah. You don’t really have to if it’s going to-“

“You really do tend to ramble a lot.” he interrupts once again. He won’t tell you, but he finds it cute how flustered you get, you seem so innocent.

“Sorry, it’s a bad habit of mine.” you scratched the back of your head and laughed a bit.

“All right everyone, Time to pack up!” the coach said, getting up from the bench.

“See you tomorrow?” Sakusa says.

“Yep!”

“Bye Y/N!” Komori says as he waved at you. You waved back and started to pack things up and went home.

1 and a half years later.

“Omi, have you seen my shampoo? I left it here at your place and I checked the bathroom and it wasn’t there anymore.” you said as you walked out of his bathroom, wearing nothing but a towel.

“No babe,” Sakusa says, “Just use mine. It isn’t that big of a deal. We can buy you your shampoo once you finish taking a shower if it’s bothering you this much.”

“It’s fine. I was just checking to see if you saw it, it isn’t that big of a deal.” you assured him with a smile.

“Maybe I should join you in the shower?” Sakusa suggested, “saves more water.”

“You’re too much.” you laughed, “let’s go shower!”

You and Sakusa finally graduated high school and decided to take a year break before attending college to spend time together since Sakusa wasn’t planning on going to college. You guys didn’t live together, He had an apartment of his own that was near your house and you’d stay there most of the time. Which meant, more sex.

Of course, it took sakusa some time to be comfortable to have sex with you, but he trusted you a lot. he knew you were clean and you took proper care of yourself

not staying abstinent from sex is something you regret, but are happy that you forgot to take the pill that one day. If you had, you still would’ve been with Sakusa. But since you didn’t, you ended up pregnant and gave birth to the person that makes you the happiest, your daughter.

You remember taking the pregnancy test, your heart dropped.

“fuck. i’m fucked.” you muttered.

Your hands were shaking as you held the pregnancy test, which said “positive” and your fingers were slowly becoming more cold by each passing seconds and your anxiety was getting the best of you.

what is sakusa gonna say? he already said he didn’t want kids. what was your mother going to say? Oh, your mother was going to kill you. Sakusa isn’t gonna like this at all. Maybe he will? Maybe he’ll tell you everything is okay and that he’ll be with you every step of the way. Should you tell Komori to tell him? No. Sakusa won’t believe him and it’ll result in him asking you anyways. Kenma! text Kenma. Then text Akira. They’ll know what to do. Wait! you need to make sure you’re 100% pregnant. This is only one test. there’s no way you’re pregnant.

So you took 2 more test. All of them were positive.

“shitt.” you took a deep breath in and closed your eyes. Tears were threatening to spill and the once appetite you once had was now gone. You were in Sakusa’s apartment bathroom, he had gone to go pick up the food you had ordered for the movie night you and him were planning to have.

You quickly got out of the bathroom and made your way to your phone to call Kenma and tell him. By now you were sobbing.

“Y/n, are you 100% sure you’re pregnant?” he said in a firm voice. He too was trying not to panic.

“Y-yes! I’ve taken like th- three test now!” you said, you were breaking down and it was hard for you to even speak clearly. “Kiyoomi i-is not going to be happy at all. I only missed one day of not t-taking the pill.”

“Y/n, i’m going to need you to breathe for me. You may not believe me now, but everything will be okay. You have to tell him. He will still love you. Isn’t it his baby?” he asked, this annoyed you. Why did he even ask that? obviously it was his. Kenma didn’t mean any harm when he asked you, but you took it to offense.

“O-obviously kozume. Why would you even ask that?” you were pacing around in the living room, trying to calm yourself down. “Kenma he’s here. He just texted me he’s outside and he’s-he’s coming. I’m scared, i don’t know how to handle this.”

“Y/n, please breathe. Everything is going to be okay please calm down, okay? You got this. If you want me to come over I can. Do you still want me to stay on the line?” he asked.

“N-no, I’m fine. Thank you Kenma. I’m gonna hang up now.”

“You’re welcome y/n. I love you.” he said, a smile resting on his face.

“love you too.”

you quickly went back to the bathroom to throw the pregnancy test away and hid it further in the trash so Sakusa wouldn’t find it. You quickly washed your face, so it would look like you weren’t crying and if he asked you why your eyes were so red you’d just say soap got in your eyes. Right when you finished washing your face, Sakusa entered the place, immediately heading to the kitchen sink to wash his hands.

“Hey,” he said grabbing the soap next to him and rubbing it with his hands.

“Hey.” you said softly, placing one hand on your opposite arm and walking towards him to embrace him.

“Happy anniversary, I love you so much.” He said, hugging you and burying his head in the crook of your neck. 

“I love you more, Kiyoomi.” you said. He pulled away and stared at your face in mischief and then squinted. 

“You don’t usually call me Kiyoomi unless you’re upset or worried about something. What’s up?”

Shit.

It was a bad habit of yours. When something was bothering you, or when you were upset, you’d usually call Sakusa, Kiyoomi. Usually you’d call him by his nickname, which was Omi.

“It’s nothing, Omi. I’m hungry! Let’s eat!” you say as you tried to hug him again, but he doesn’t budge.

“y/n, come on, i know you.” he says softly, as you both stood in the kitchen. He stares at you for a little longer, tucking the strands of your hair behind your ear, easing your tenseness so you could feel comfortable enough to talk to him and then cupped your cheek. “Talk to me- wait, have you been crying?”

Ugh.

you’re crying again. you’re crying really hard. Sakusa starts to panic at the random burst of tears that are falling at a rapid pace and pulls you in for a tight hug, not caring that you haven’t washed your hands yet.

“hey, hey, y/n shh, it’s okay.” Sakusa says, stroking your hair softly. “baby, talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong, please.”

You sob on his chest, he slightly cringes at the thought of your tears wetting his shirt, but he doesnt mention it.

“N-no, I cant. You’ll hate me.” you say, burying your face in his chest. Sakusa lets out a sigh of confusion and continues to stoke your hair.

“I’m pretty sure there’s nothing you could do that would make me hate you y/n. I love you, dummy.” he chuckled, you laughed as well and let go of him and wiped your tears. You took a deep breath and then let a out a forced laugh and then faced Sakusa.

“Okay,” You said letting out a sigh, “I’m,”

“you’re?”

“Never mind, I cant do this.” you walked away from him and ran to the bathroom and locked yourself there and started breaking down. Sakusa was quick to follow you, but you locked the door. You were confusing the hell out of him. He thought you were trying to break up with him.

You couldn’t tell him. Not when he had already told you he didn’t want kids. Did you even want kids? Aborting the baby was not an option. Knowing the type of person you are, you’d probably feel too guilty and you didn’t need that guilt following you for the rest of your life.

“Y/n, I understand you may need space right now. Whenever you’re ready please talk to me, I love you.”

Why was he so good to you?

About 30 minutes later, you finally come out from the bathroom and you see Sakusa scrolling through his phone. The food he had ordered was still on the table, probably cold by now.

“Hey,” you said walking up to him and sitting next to him on the couch.

“Hey,” he smiled, “you ready to talk to me now?”

“uh, yeah.” you took a deep breath, and Sakusa patiently waited for you to speak up.

“So, you know how I’m on birth control?” you asked, he cocked his head and furrowed his brows, wondering what birth control had to do with what was bothering you.

“yes..”

“Oh, okay.” you said, you took another deep breath in, then out, then you closed your eyes because you felt tears rushing down again.

“Y/n,” sakusa says softly, You rest your head on his chest once again, and he continues to softly rub your back. “Y/n, you’re scaring me. Are you breaking up with me?”

“No!” you say as you lift your head up to face him. You cup his cheek gently and give him a soft smile. “no, i’m not baby.” You put your hand down and faced forward, while sakusa was staring at you from your side. Sakusa gives a sigh of relief.

“I’m pregnant.” you blurted out.

“what?” he heard you, he just didn’t know if he heard it right.

“Kiyoomi, i’m pregnant. it’s yours.” you’re facing him now, but he looks away. He lets go of the hand that was once holding yours and faces forward.

“Omi, please say something.” you say, you started to get worried and you felt a weird sensation in your stomach as if you were about to throw up.

“Are you sure y/n? Is this some type of prank because if it is-“

“no, it’s not a prank. i’ve taken three test and they were all positive, kiyoomi. i’m pregnant.”

“holy shit.” is all he mutters, he places both of his hands together and they land on his face and the face he was currently making was unreadable. You couldn’t tell if he was mad or upset, but he certainly didn’t seem happy one bit.

“is that seriously all you’re gonna say?” you scoff, he doesn’t look at you, he’s still facing forward.

“take another test,”

“what?”

“take another test,” he repeats, now getting up from the couch and pacing up and down the living room. “you need to take another test.”

“i already told you, i took three and they were all positive-“

“just take another test y/n, damn it!” your eyes widen at his sudden burst of anger, he’s staring at you, boring his eyes onto you and then he quickly looks away and takes a steady breath in. “i need to see this for myself, just take another test, okay?”

you scoff.

you wipe of the tears on your face and you walk to the bathroom rather quickly, sakusa following not far along.

you open another one of the test that you haven’t used yet without saying a word to sakusa, he’s leaning on the bathroom door with the same bored expression he usually has on his face.

once you’ve finished, you wait a few minutes for the test to see it’s results.

positive.

“are you satisfied? or do i need to take another test?” you mutter, sakusa looks at the test that is now placed on this sink, crossing his arms.

“we can’t keep this baby-“

“what? what are you talking about?” you interrupt him. Is he being serious? He doesn’t have a say on what whether you keep the baby or not.

“y/n, think about it!” he explains, walking closer to you, “we’re 18, and i have a career that i’m working hard on and you have college-“

“are you being serious right now, kiyoomi?” you raise your voice and back away from him with a hurt expression on your face.

“Y/n, it wouldn’t be smart to keep this baby. We can’t be parents right now. I’m not ready to be a dad yet,” he’s not raising his voice because he’s trying his hardest to avoid an argument. “I cant- i can’t do this.”

“w-what?” you feel tears forming again. What can’t he do? What is he trying to say? “Kiyoomi, look, I know this is a lot. Trust me it’s a lot for me too! But i’m keeping this baby. It’s our responsibility since we weren’t responsible enough.”

He scoffs at this and shakes his head “we? we weren’t responsible? last time i checked, you were the one who didn’t do your part. all you had to do was take one damn pill. is it seriously that hard?”

He can’t seriously be blaming you right now.

“I’m sorry y/n, but i seriously can’t be a dad. We already said that we’re not having kids. They’re messy, annoying and not to mention, they cause too much stress. You have to abort the baby-“

“I don’t have to do shit,” you interrupt once again, you were crying, you were so upset. This was so unlike kiyoomi. you felt nauseous, and it wasn’t the baby. “And i never said i didn’t want kids, we never even agreed on that, you just said you didn’t want them. What happened to you? Yeah, we’re young, but i’m willing to make that sacrifice. All you’re worried about is your stupid volleyball career. I told you i’m keeping this baby and if you aren’t okay with that, then maybe we should break up!” You were yelling, too caught up in the moment to realize what you had just said, it was a lot for Sakusa to process. It’s only normal that he’d be suprised but it doesn’t mean he had to put all the blame on you. You were already aware it was partly your fault, and now you were willing to own up for your mistakes. Why wasn’t he? He looked at you in shock, then walked back and forth and you kept your eyes on him wondering what he would say next.

“you think so?”

“There’s no point in being together if you don’t want to be in this baby’s life, Kiyoomi. You know this.”

“So what, you’re just gonna let go of what we have that easily?” he asked, everything he was saying was getting on your fucking nerves.

“You think it’s easy, Kiyoomi?” you let out a humorless laugh, “You think it’s easy for me to let you go? You are literally my the love of my fucking life. The first person who made me have butterflies in my stomach when all you’d do is just stare at me. Now that a baby is on the way things are obviously going to be changing and i need to put this baby first before everything and you’re obviously not willing to do that and It hurts- it fucking hurts that you didn’t even assure me that everything was going to be alright. That you’d still love me and be right by my side even though Ive decided that i am keeping the baby. I had to call kenma right before you came and even he said you’d assure me, but you didn’t. I’m not even upset at you for being suprised, but there are better ways to react Kiyoomi, especially in situations like this. You saying you’re not ready to be a dad is okay, but the fact that you aren’t willing to make the sacrifice hurts. So don’t say it’s easy for me when you’re the one that’s letting go.”

By the time you finished speaking, you were choking on your own sobs and you could barely even speak clearly. Sakusa looked like he was on the verge of tears, but he probably didn’t want to cry in front of you. He didn’t say anything either or make eye contact with you either. He just headed to the kitchen and started cleaning out any leftovers that were too old in the fridge. You aren’t even suprised. You see, Sakusa doesn’t like opening up to people. The thought of being so vulnerable and opening up like what you had just did scared Kiyoomi. He wanted to be the one that would cheer you up when something was bothering you but when it came to him, he’d keep his emotions or how he was feeling to himself. It was a bad habit of his but you still loved him and understood that it would take some time. Yes, it does hurt that he didn’t say anything after you literally opened up, but maybe this was how it was supposed to end.

You looked at him with such disbelief. You scoffed and then wore your jacket and shoes and left.

He didn’t chase after you, it’s not like you would listen anyways. All he did was say that he wasn’t ready to be a parent and how you should abort the baby. Did he think you were ready? Because you weren’t. But you were willing to make a sacrifice for this baby of yours. There’s no point in forcing him to become a father if that’s clearly not what he wants. That’s fine though, you know you’d have other people support you, even if it meant that Sakusa wouldn’t be supporting you anymore.

“Goodbye, Kiyoomi.”

[legally-allowed-to-slime]

I think gem's just reacting to pearl the same way pearl reacts to scott/cleo. Pearl doesnt trust scott / cleo at all (for good reasons!) and brings up previous seasons around the same amount as they do to her. Gem, likewise, was betrayed by Pearl during SL from a very pivotal moment that has constantly haunted her since (the 2v1 constantly hangs around her lol) and now holds a bit of a grudge towards her. while pearl has only ever done this once to gem, it was also gem's Only season and also is probably her biggest betrayal. however, yes, pearl does not realize how far this grudge goes and to her, gem is still her ride or die. This unfortunately leads her to choose gem for the poison wall bit which only cements the idea in gem's head that she Cannot trust pearl (and also misunderstands pearl's "everyone else is my ally"). gem also does constantly say that people are antagonizing her, which i think is also a remnant from SL where she thinks people coming over to their base is equivalent to an attack (which it isnt, but she's just being paranoid). (also for the skin discussion, i think people's reactions to her skin being red is valid. to everyone else, the last time pearl did something like that it was just to mess with people and be a menace. so even to gem, seeing the red on her is a big warning sign that things might get dangerous around her. of course, to pearl, its just a transition and a really cool concept! ) as for why she's favoring scott, well he's scott and he's good at pandering to people. in session 1 he's the one that defended joel and gem and reinforced that they were not the ones to steal impulse's cows. because impulse kept pushing it, gem got even more frustrated and put impulse on her hit list. for session 2 he just happened to walk by as pearl left and simply nodded along to what gem was ranting about (i also dont think he said anything relevant here to poison the waters between them. if anything, he's Also a bit confused as to why gem's so mad at pearl because he knows theyre supposed to be close, and just took it in stride).

now for the twitter interactions, pearl is basically signaling that she's going to ally with impulse above all. being number 1 on gem's hit list (especially since he came back in session 2 to steal things), they're both now equally terrible in her eyes. anyway thats how ive been interpreting things at least!! its very interesting reading everyone's opinions on this. i think everyone's reacting in a pretty valid way if you're standing in their shoes and forget the little aspects that we know from watching multiple povs

oh wow it’s rare that i get an anon that i 100% agree with, but i think you said everything so much better than i could have (not a dig at other anons i love every single ask i get and in fact if i could just get one anon disagreeing with me on everything it would make my day)

let me be clear, i can entirely understand why gem did what she did. i don’t want it to seem like i’m hating on her excessively, especially when she’s in my top 2 (top 1 if pearl hasn’t uploaded in two weeks). i absolutely agree with the gem/pearl and pearl/scott+cleo parallels, with scott+cleo not taking double life seriously and pearl regarding SL as irrelevant when gem is hurt by it. something something her own feelings over betrayal are dismissed in her own alliance so she finds it fair to ignore gem’s

and you’re very right for the bit about gem not understanding pearl’s harmless intentions. she’s very paranoid for whatever reason, when everyone’s been nice to her except for impulse, who is having a terrible horrible no good very bad day. she tells joel they have a target on their backs but afaik no one has been nasty to them. BUT this also makes sense, because in SL she was explicitly targeted for being too powerful (eg grian’s TNT ambush), so her paranoia is understandable.

as for pearl, she is loyal to a fault, including to gem. in SL gem kills her twice and pearl barely minds, so there was the faulty assumption that this time, the cobblestone wall isn’t enough to make gem distrust her, because if gem had done the same to her she wouldn’t have cared. again, pearl having extraordinarily high tolerance for her allies but not realising that, obviously, it would not be reciprocated. unfortunate clash of girl with high standards (gem) and girl with no standards (pearl)

red skin thing is just your stereotypical misunderstanding. pearl literally gets cut off before she can explain to gem what it actually means, so gem thinks that pearl decided to go half-crazy unprovoked, when that’s not the truth. so. if they could just talk 1 on 1 and not get interrupted by three other people in the span of twenty seconds that would be great (for me. not for either of them probably seeing the train wreck they are now). but i did think the reason for the red skin thing was an unusually sensible decision for traffic!pearl, considering she throws on the red skin for lesser things. so. just really bad luck that scott started talking there, no one could possibly be at fault for that

as for scott. well. scott. i guess i misspoke there because i’ve gotten like three asks and five tags pinpointing that bit. ok, yeah, gem was already mad at pearl, but like i said, scott reinforcing this belief and making it into an objective fact and not personal grudges is pretty significant to me.

but anon you’re so correct for saying that scott knows how to pander to people. that’s the word for it. he constantly brags about how good he is at making friends, but well! if you’re making friends solely to have more strategic power then that’s not really sincere is it. but he’s good at putting on this inoffensive, just charismatic enough persona to slip under the radar and end up on the side of general approval. to say what people want to hear, basically

and i might be hallucinating but he also becomes much friendlier to gem after he realises that she isn’t weird about pearl anymore. remember, he views her and pearl’s alliance in SL as a near betrayal — so from his pov, gem has had character growth and become a Good Ally TM, and not “rogue” like jimmy or pearl. and it’s always about perspectives. scott is acting perfectly normally from his own pov, and since he wasn’t there for what actually happened. so if gem comes up to him and complains about pearl, an ally he already has tensions with, he’s going to think that pearl must have done something to deserve it. and is he wrong? no. any other person in his position would think that too

also omg the twitter thing makes perfect sense now. pearl aligns herself with impulse, and impulse is gem’s no. 1 enemy, so pearl is now gem’s no. 2 enemy. that sucks for pearl because at the rate impulse is going he’s going to be an outcast in 2 sessions, and with pearl’s already shaky reputation, allying with someone who would be rightfully ostracised, and doesn’t seem to have much morals at all (i fully support him for that btw), is not going to help her image, or her relationship with scott/cleo/gem/rest of the server. gritting my teeth like yes i do want her to be happy but she can’t even act unhinged because all of her exes will pounce on that. she hasn’t even acted unhinged and they’re already saying she is. like oh man just wait

uhh but yeah. toxic yuri for gempearl at least pearl’s kinda happy with impulse?? i guess?? i’m so embarrassed i didn’t even consider that gem would remember the SL betrayal but breakup in ep 2 goes hard. alexa play i love you i’m sorry

ETA: also not sure how to feel about pearl being a legitimate underdog this time. gem and joel are both a powerful and popular alliance, and i don’t think pearl realises that it’s really really bad if she allies with their enemy. but she doesn’t really care about placing high anyway so shrug emoji?

[silliest-heartaches]

Ohh my god DRINKKK!! Dude I love them sooo muchhh. I just love imagining them being head over heels for each other yet constantly denying their feelings, because of how they view themselves, yet still finding comfort and solace with each other. They are so. YES. PERFECT. AUGH.

SHARE MORE ABOUT THEM PLEASE!!!

And I love how you use they/them for Ink and she/her for Dream!!

GOD YEAH I LIKE THEM SO INCREDIBLY MUCH... tbh the main reason i started liking them was bc i was thinking abt them and how doomed yuri coded they were and. The worms Wormed in from there,,,,

I actually use he/they and she/they for ink and dream respectively but!!!!!! I love all hcs and interpretations of them for REAL. nonbinary people who are gay as fuck for real,, very inherrently queer ship regardless of how u see either of them i think...heart seeing them as t4t transmasc and transfem forever personally though so thats what i see em as hehe,, also in my head theyre both aroacespec (though the specifc kind varies from au to au though i do consistently see ink as ace and dream as demiaro :>>)

Im not sure how long these will be so...hcs under the cut lol

- okay well while in my mind while error is technically the First Entity ink sees that isnt just a normal entity, dream is like their First. Friend. you know. Like when error first saw him he was screaming and crying for the hills bc it was also his first time seeing another outcode so. that reaction BUT with dream she was more filled with gentle confusion... this is a bit after she unstoned in the apple incident but still was new to au hopping and naive to most danger so they became friends!!! Questionably so.

-to elaborate, when they first meet dream is still stuck on the ideals of toxic positivity and pushing through hardship no matter what... i think this is something they eventually grow out of and dream will eventually learn to see the need for balance eventually but one of their first disputes happens when ink is running low on ink and most of whats left are the Negative Emotions within him alongside the especially strong panic that he usually feels when they get like this... dream would try to comfort him and try to say that itll work out in the end no matter what and that they just need to push through and that itll be okay like normal comforting words because dream is an empath and can sense feelings right,,i feel like its comforting in some cases but when things get Really Bad and especially when the main reserves of feelings that ink has are Negative, they heavily override his normal sense of self and i imagine they get a lot more. Snappy.... theres also the additional hc thingy of ink also really overexaggerating his feelings and overplaying them a lot for the sake of trying to feel more intensely (doesnt work, just drains him faster and will never truly feel natural to him...personally think that ink feels a lot of disconnect from his feelings) which could be considerably offputting to dream (though before adding swap to the group she thought it wass normal because she had only seen the fake pretend nice joy of the village influenced by her aura and not Genuine Feelings)

I think eventually through the years they would learn a lot from eachother...like with ink learning to be more naturally charismatic and dream learning to see past toxic positivity and have his perception on emotions change for the better (ie in learning that having different emotions are okay, so long as there is a balance)

id do alot more hcs but tbh what it boils down to is: toxic codependent yuri. intensely up and down relationship where theres an insane amount of love and attachment but also a lack of self from the both of them because they are only able to see themselves as a Thing to the other. Also exes who turned out to be besties. Thry got together and broke up wayyy before blue (they casually tell him stories about it and for the parts that he does know about he is horrified for.) Oh and they share hobbies and do parallel play alot. dream is more music oriented and can play the cello and flute. ink can play the ukelele but hes more familiar with drawing and painting duh. Also they have a garden. they love growing flowers but their favourites are sunflowers. Also have writing sessions together. Also may/may not also have beautiful princess disorder. (The both of them)

im so sorry this is so incoherrent but erm. yeah im very normal abt them (half of this stuff comes from oc projection the other half is like. Mental illness while in the shower tbh)

[thevestigeofvanillaan]

Good Girl.

boyfriend!stan x girlfriend!reader x bestfriend!kyle x bestfriend!kenny smut.

ALL CHARACTERS ARE AGED UP. should be a known fact for all of my writings but people like to bitch about it so here, does this make you feel better?

i really like this one. and if you don't like it, i don't really care so don't bother commenting "oh they aren't like this" "stop writing porn about children" because i'm not. and it's not supposed to be canon..😂

content: smut, exhibitionism, voyeurism, bf watching his bsf fuck his gf, long ass paragraphs, swearing, heavy praise, reader can be interpreted as being chubby, belly bulge, fingering, reader has nipple piercings.

"come on dude, just kiss her. look.." stan, your boyfriend, says, grabbing your jaw and squeezing your cheeks before attacking your lips with his. you melt into his touch with a quiet moan before he pulls away and smiles at you. you bite your wet lip to hide your smirk and stan faces his attention back to kyle.

kyle sits awkwardly next to you, looking at stan. "you don't think that's.. like.. weird?"

stan chuckles and squeezes your thigh before laying into a more comfortable position. "nah. trust me, kyle. her lips feel amazing."

you blush when kyle scoots even closer, turning his whole body to face you and you do the same. he brings a hand to cup the side of your face, and eyes you in a way that asks "is this okay?" and you smile to show your answer to be a "yes".

kyle brings his face slowly to yours, staring you in the eye and just before your lips touch, he looks to stan. and then he kisses you, eyes open staring at your boyfriend. you close your eyes and get comfortable with the newfound feeling of kyle's lips. it's a nice feeling. his lips are slightly chapped, unlike stans who's are more soft. his hands are soft though as they caress your jaw and his tongue makes its way into your mouth, he begins to play with your hair.

it felt so.. right. which is weird. your boyfriend is watching you make out with his best friend, and encouraging it.. but the feeling of his lips feels like they were made to touch yours. you bite down on his bottom lip, careful to make it arousing not painful. you can tell he liked it when he groans and pulls your hair slightly, kissing more aggressively and smiling into it.

you giggle and move your body so you were facing your head down towards him before the two of you pull away. and you missed that feeling.

"didn't i tell you, she's like a first cigarette." stan chuckles and you smile at kyle before getting off of him, sitting where you had been previously. "baby, you wanna take off your shirt for me, hmm?" stan walks over to stand between my thighs and you nod up at him. his hands move to the hem of your shirt and he pulls your top off. you barely had any time before he moved his hands to unclasp your bra, gently taking it off of you.

"nipple piercings?" kyle smirks at your boobs with teeth.

"feel em." stan says and this time without hesitation kyle scoots over, moving his hands to massage your breasts before taking a nipple into his mouth, sucking on it before letting go, pecking around your areola before moving to please your other side.

once he's done feeding on your flesh stan grabs your hand to pull you off the bed and into his arms. he pecks your lips before unbuttoning your jean shorts. unzipping them. and pulling them down until all that's left is your little black lingerie panties that don't hide very much. stan smacks your ass and bites your shoulder before whispering into your ear, "want him to play with you some, baby?"

you moan with a closed mouth softly and nod, holding onto his biceps and squeezing before letting go and walking over to kyle with swaying hips. you stand between his legs and his hands migrate to the small of your waist, squeezing the plush skin and looking up into your eyes. his hands were so fucking soft. his nails were painted black but on his right hand his ring finger was painted a dark burgundy. they were big and veiny and could tear you apart in seconds. a portion of you could have been scared if you hadn't known better, but you knew kyle, liked him for months before you and stan got together.

the thing was that kyle didn't pay attention to you like you needed. he didn't text back, or talk to you, or even acknowledge you. but stan was there to do that all for you. stan wanted you. stan texted, first most of the time, even. he took care of you and hung out with you and that drew you to him. but part of you still loved kyle because you had for months.

his soft hands move to squeeze the doughy flesh of your ass and you smirk in pleasure. your thumbs move to play with the band of your panties, smacking the elastic against your skin and moving it up and down to tease. even going as far to do a little spin so he could see how good your ass looked in those panties. they were your favorite pair. you slowly would side by side move down your panties before they reached the floor, you step your bare feet and white painted toes (stan paid) out of the panties that now rest on the floor.

kyle stands up and stan walks over to you, taking you into his arms. "be a good girl for him, huh? yeah?" stan babied you and you nod with a pouty face. he lays you down and puts a pillow behind your head. that's when kenny came in, without knocking. kyle greeted him by walking over and likely explaining what was happening in a quiet tone. but you focused on stan. "we've got company." stan says out loud with a smile, caressing the side of your face and kissing your forehead to say "ill be right back" before standing up straight to go talk to the other two boys in the room.

god you were so out of it. it all looked slightly blurry as you watched your boyfriend talking to his two best friends, all looking at your squirming naked body begging for attention and fulfilling. you wanted to beg but you had to be quiet. you had to be a good girl.

next thing you know they're walking over to you and kenny's hands are separating your legs. you only recognize who it was once you could see his face through your now parted legs. he smiled down at you. "oh look at you. you look so helpless and needy. you want me to play with you don't you? want me to touch this wet little cunny?" kenny teased and you whine. "please."

"i guess so. only because you're just such a good little girl f'me." kenny chuckles and brings four fingers to your dripping pussy, his two middle fingers whiping the liquids up to your clit to make it easier to play with. he rubs circles onto your clit and your hips dig into the mattress. it felt so good.

kenny's hands were the roughest of all of theirs. he smelt of weed and his hands felt chalky. his hair was greasy and he had scuff marks on his face like he'd gotten in a fight (which he likely did) upon arrival. the smirk on his face was ever so devious and sadistic as he tortured your needness. kenny was definitely the meanest and most recognized of the three of them. he did the most he could to grow fame and money, which slowly but surely was working. the productions he had going weren't so bad you genuinely thought.

you moan out in the pleasure your feeling as you clench around nothing at his teasing. he slides his two fingers into your hole with ease because of your arousal, but only once before going back to your clit. which you weren't terribly mad about because it felt so good. you felt ridiculously overstimulated for the fact that you hadn't even been fucked yet nonetheless finished.

"hey i think she's ready to be honest, feels like she's pulsating." kenny laughs and walks off. you rub your eyes and hear ringing in your head that doesn't exist to the others in the room but it confused you. you heard subtle voices before you felt a soft hand on your knee. you could tell it was kyle just by the feeling of his hand. opening your eyes, indeed it was kyle, looking down at you in awe with his cock prodding at your entrance.

it was disgusting, really, that you felt so fucking good doing this. especially since these are your boyfriends best friends who are playing with you in such a taboo way. four of kyle's fingers rest on your lower stomach and his thumb rubs circles at the top sensitive part of your clit. he looks into your eyes for some sort of consent that you felt numb to giving. but you whined out the best "please kyle" that you could before he harshly thrusted into you. with that you moan ever loudly, probably annoying the others in the apartment complex but you couldn't help it. this feeling was like no other. the disgusting ecstasy flowing from your cunt all the way to your brain making tears prick your eyes as kyle fucks relentlessly into you, holding onto your thighs so hard it could and would leave red hand marks.

"oh my fucking— fuck kyle-!" you moan out so loud like you were giving birth. any other person would think you were either in pain or having the greatest sex to ever exist and you couldn't tell which one this felt more like anymore. it felt amazing. it felt lifelike. his cock felt like it was molded the shape of you exactly to please the places you didn't know were pleasurable to touch. the bulge in your stomach would hit his finger tips and you could feel that. and you knew he could too when he started laughing and groaning out loudly.

there really is no other way to explain this feeling. it was to put it straight, the most pleasurable thing you had ever felt in your entire life. tears streaming down your cheeks to stain them with eyeliner marks and of course you weren't wearing water proof mascara, who knew this would happen? his hands fell to your hips, gripping them tightly you could tell he was getting closer and closer to the edge.

"s'tight.!" kyle groaned, thrusting harder but slower and sloppier and you can feel your orgasm hitting you hard as a gust of wind blowing away something that weighs anything smaller than a pound. it was like waves of intense pleasure running through your veins and there it was. you came harder than you thought was possibly but kyle wasn't done. you wrapped your legs around his waist assuring he couldn't pull out when he had to come. "in me. in me please kyle." you moan and look to stan who's smirking.

you look to kyle who's looking at stan, asking with fucked out eyes for permission that he didn't need when you pulled his shirt so his face was by yours and you kiss him aggressively. "please don't pay attention to them, this is about me." you whisper before moaning loud, not before moving your head so you wouldn't hurt his ears. "please kyle im begging you i want you, i need you right now."

he came, inside of you. it felt so good being filled like that. that's all you needed. he rode out his high and you felt so tired. your entire body fell limp but your legs wouldn't stop shaking. your muscles were spazing in the back of your thighs visibly and kyle pulled out. you turned to lay on your stomach.

kenny was gone, and stan was in the bathroom, at least you thought so. kyle brought a soft hand to your back and gently massaged the bare skin. "it's like you were made for me." you say into your arms so it comes out mumbled but kyle heard. and he understood with the chuckle he gave you. "get some rest." he pats your back and sits beside you on the bed and you drift off.

[urbestestwindgod]

tw for discussion of rape and all and a hot take i guess

ok i dont rlly like to get serious or anything on this blog but i just wanted to mention that even if it was left up for interpretation if calypso raped odysseus or not, the stuff she still does isnt okay. like she still holds him captive, she still harasses and tries to coerce him after knowing that he is married and doesnt want her. she holds him captive KNOWING IT MAKES HIM SUICIDAL. thats not haha girly things that called being an abuser. yes, holding someone captive and trying to manipulate them out of suicide (as opposed to support them) is abusive.

i know she has a pretty voice but like, did you think jorge would cast a random untrained smoker from an opium den to play her so we know that this isnt a good character? and also you can compliment people’s designs of calypso without being ok with rape, because its just a design, but when its “shes my wifey” and “ii love her” its suddenly not like any other epic villain simping because the thing is she isnt a god sinking his ships or lighting bolting his crew to death; shes sexually abusing him (i am also not going to debate if sexual harassment is different from sexual abuse because its not. even if she never raped him she was still trying to coerce him and harassed him; which is abusive)

if there’s anything i dont fuck with its sexual misconduct. rape, harassment, abuse, all of it. dont give me that shit. the only thing that irritates me more than “haha id dropkick that child in self defense” is any victim blaming or pro rape statement that i displeasurably have to hear. like back to “her voice is so pretty” or just “shes so pretty” hey yea thats what most male rape victims are told. that she was so hot though, so he must have liked it. shes not “just a girl” shes an abuser.

now i know people where a little peeved that jorge removed rape from the circe saga; but i think its reasonable why he did. the epic community is very connected and always has memes for the situations odysseus is in. which, when its haha his friend was killed by a cyclops, or his crew was killed by an angry father, or his men where turned to pigs, or haha hes sad at whatever fantastical situation hes put in; we can laugh at it. because not only is it not real because its a story, but also no one has ever been through that. no ones ever faced off a cyclops in a cave before.

but people have been raped. men have been raped and heard the whole “shes so pretty and sweet thoo”. thats real. and with the circe saga jay knew that putting in rape, so early in too, that it wouldn’t be a plotpoint that fit in because that isnt an epic misfortune they face! thats a real situation; not the men to pigs and sea witch stuff, but being pressured and coerced into sleeping with someone? that is a real situation that real people are put in.

and i know male sexual assaults are iffy to people somehow. so lets say that a woman was in odysseus’ place and circe/calypso were men. does that make it worse? because both are bad. i dont fuck with rape towards ANYONE. regardless of gender, i dont think in 2024 we still should be debating is men can be raped

but back to jorge; i think he was brave for making love in paradise go how it did. i think even implying rape was a brave choice for the musical; especially with a very unserious and jokey fandom (not saying its not also serious but still) but even if you interpret that calypso never touched him. in the odyssey she did, and how tf do you LIKE a character who in the source material was a rapist? shes not “allowed to do bad” shes not “just a girl” shes a predator, and idn something about seeing her get support despite that reminds me of people like my uncle, my brother, my friend’s stepdad, a classmate or two. my uncle being able to have a restaurant, my brother having “a bright future” a certain classmate who got a girl pregnant and then went on to go to prep school. while she carried a child from a random guy in another state. you can support and joke about poseidon from epic and all, but when you start talking about calypso the same way you aren’t invalidating odysseus because hes not real. but you are invalidating countless real life victims.

and these are bold words from someone who isnt even mad about zeus of all people, because i know the culture he was from and i know that he was a metaphor/symbol to said culture. but the odyssey was a story with characters who survived by virtue of extending past that cultural bias. i can pull away from the odyssey as a piece of its time and understand that calypso wasnt probably seen as a rapist back then because the term didnt apply, but as a character i hate her like i hate theseus

and i know calypso was technically a goddess but that didnt mean much for her except immortality and being able to sexually abuse better. she wasnt worshipped (to my knowledge?) or exactly metaphorical. and epic is a modern retelling; so modern standards apply; shes a predator. i wont be taking any counter points because like i said dont do me with that shit

tl;dr your support for fictional rapists extends to what real victims have gone through, and check your lust because backing up every pretty voice/face is a rape culture classic

also im not saying that if you like calypso youre a pro rape asshole, dont think that. but i am saying youre not helping anyone and more hurting than anything by treating a character who is a sexual abuser like just another fantasy villain

[ravenrothstr]

Once Again Part II🤍

summary. jaehyun and his classmates go through the darkness of adulthood filled with bitterness, where both of them ended finding each other sparks in within

genre. high school! au, second chance love, fluff

words count. 8.0k

disclaimer. the story is fully fictional. other names mentioned are just for the story and pure imagination, with no bad intentions

--｡⋆✮ 🎧 ✮ ⋆｡--

The smell of paper and the whole aura of space are as peaceful as nature, bringing you and the other students in the library to a state of peace as if it were a treat to your minds. Well, at least that was what Jaehyun thought when he declined his teammates' offer of lunch.

He still couldn't bring himself to face Eunwoo ever since the incident at the couch office.

"Why him?"

"Why now?"

"How could he?"

Those are the only thoughts that crossed over his head for the past few days. He closes his book for the day, dragging his feet back to the class. He had his shirt unbuttoned at the top with his tie loosely dangling around his neck. He tries his best to keep himself composed, but there are times he wishes the world to shut its mouth for him to swear it out.

He closes the wooden door behind him as he walks into the classroom. With the class still half empty, he could see you taking your seat. Surely you too just arrived at the classroom. You were in your sports attire, wiping some sweat across your face with a small towel your friend in front of you offered.

"Thanks," you smile at her.

Jaehyun swings his eyes off you as he takes his seat, way back from you. Mingyu was already there by the time he got there.

"Is it true?" Mingyu asked, leaning forward to Jaehyun.

"What do you mean?"

"I heard y/n has been practising alone for the festival dance."

Jaehyun turned sharply to Mingyu behind him, his forehead wrinkled in surprise as the sense of heat rinsed in his body. Only god knows how much he hates this guy right now.

"What did you say?" he frowns, feeling agitated.

"She's been practicing alone. I thought you have known it already, you always stay longer to practice on your own."

He felt bad hearing that. Indeed, he stays a little longer, but he usually turns his back on both of you. He notices how you usually start warming up earlier before Eunwoo came, and he thought it was better for him not to face them. Not sure wonder it was the sight of Eunwoo or both of you dancing, but it wasn't something pleasant for him to look at.

"Why is she alone anyway?" he asked.

"Some said Choi Ye Won didn't like both of them together, but Eunwoo said he didn't need that much practice anyway. An open interpretation I guess,"

Mingyu shrugged his shoulders as he leaned back in his seat, clearly not interested in continuing the conversation. Jaehyun did the same, turning back to his seat.

The teammates took a glance over the door as a familiar figure walks into the court.

It was you.

You looked drained and exhausted today because you came after your art lessons. The red eyes and little eye bags under your eye didn't help you from hiding the tiredness.

Nor the sadness.

Jaehyun couldn't help but stare pitifully at you as you already took a seat between those benches. He saw you slowly leaning back in the seat, closing your heavy eyes, letting yourself drift into a short nap. There are a few minutes left before the training ends, which fits perfectly for you to rest.

He snapped out from his empathizing back to the court. With the focus in his eyes, he ends the training more passionately today.

The whistle blown by the coach woke you up, signaling the training over. The team disperses around the court before heading to the changing room. Jaehyun could see Eunwoo making his way to you as he said something to you. The nosy Jaehyun would want to walk closer to them just to eavesdrop, but he didn't. He thought it would be better if he left both of you alone, and for that, he picked up the ball and continued with his training.

As the teammates emptied the court, you slowly made your way to the opposite side of the court from Jaehyun. Everyone left the area, even Eunwoo, leaving only you and Jaehyun both minding your own business.

It's usually like this, but this time Jaehyun decided to take a peek at you in between his training. To what he and everyone assumed, you were indeed practicing alone.

He immediately stops his training and walks sternly to you. He now looks angrier than concerned.

"Where's Eunwoo?" he asked, taking you off guard.

You turned slightly towards Jaehyun, and a soft smile forms on your face.

"Hi Jaehyun," you were trying to avoid the question.

"Answer me!" he rinsed his voice with his eyes narrowed.

He scared you and made you flinch a little; you never heard him scream before. Jaehyun had always tried his best to be soft with you. He feels intense regret gradually taking over his head when he saw your eyes become watery after he screamed. He shifted his eyes immediately to somewhere else. It broke him to see you like this, although he knew he didn't mean it that way.

"Y/n, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way. I'm sorry-"

But your response was sharp, tinged with hurt and frustration. "Why did it take you so long to ask?" you choked out, tears streaming down your face like a torrent. Your voice, though not as loud as Jaehyun's earlier yell, carried the weight of your emotions.

"Are you... angry?"

You didn't answer; you folded one arm to your face, covering those teary eyes. How you wished it would stop anytime now.

"I asked you, didn't I? I've already said I'm sorry. Are you angry at me?" he pressed, desperation creeping into his tone.

"Where is he?"

"I don't know. He left... after telling me, once again, that he'll practice later," your response was barely audible, your words choked with tears.

You gasped between sobs, trying to fit words in when you could. For days you'd fought back the emotion, but you couldn't do it any longer. The emotions you felt were too heavy for you.

You sobbed so hard you began choking; it looked like you were not going to stop anytime soon. Without realizing, his eyes got teary too. Jaehyun hated that sight, this appearance of you buried with bruises of tears, he hated the eyesight so much that he stormed out of the court without a doubt. He wanted nothing more than to haunt Eunwoo, throwing a fist across his small face.

One for him.

One for you, he thought.

He ran down the stairs next to the court aimlessly. The heavier his steps got, the more he came back to his sense of rationality.

He has no idea where he is, and neither does y/n.

Breathless with anger, he closed his eyes, going silent as he tried to drag emotion back under where he didn't need to feel it. Grinding his teeth, Jaehyun exhaled noisily through his pursed lips as he palmed his face with his hand.

Once again, the rage almost took him over.

He quickly makes his way back to the court after realizing he left you inside alone. No explanation, no nothing. He was no better than Eunwoo after all.

Jaehyun longed to comfort you, to soothe your tears with a gentle touch or a warm embrace. But he hesitated, unsure if his presence would be welcomed in your vulnerable moment. Watching you cry broke his heart; he had never seen you so distressed before. Each apology he uttered felt inadequate, a feeble attempt to ease your pain.

"Y/n, I'm sorry," he repeated for what felt like the twelfth time, his voice tinged with regret.

But your response was weary, your eyes red and your voice strained from crying.

"You've said that already," you murmured, meeting his gaze with a mixture of exhaustion and sadness.

"I'll say it as many times as it takes, just to make you smile again," he reassured you, his voice filled with warmth. With a gentle touch, he wiped away your tears, silently promising to be there until your sadness faded away.

Your smile, though tinged with traces of sadness, warmed his heart. You reached out to him, and for a moment, you were lost in your own little world of understanding and empathy.

"I do feel better now," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.

After what seemed like an eternity, your sobs began to subside, and Jaehyun couldn't help but smile in relief.

"Do you still want to practice?" he asked gently, his eyes searching yours for any sign of discomfort. You nodded, your eyes lighting up with newfound determination.

"Yes."

"Then let me practice with you," he offered, extending a hand towards you.

An enormous smile spread across their face as their smile deepened the wrinkles wizening their face. The thought of being each other companion for the evening sparks excitement in them.

"I've seen you practise with Eunwoo, I can try dancing with you"

"So-", Jaehyun continues. He let out one of his hands, palms shown in front of you while another bent behind his back and leaned down.

"Can I offer you a dance?", he smiled.

You giggled and laughed at his actions. It was a cheesy action but you loved how he felt comfortable with you.

"Okay", your eyes were alight with joy taking his offering hand in yours as a yes to his question gladly.

In no time, you radiate the same energy back to Jaehyun. Both of you drag each other to the wooden tiles that are now so-called the dance floor. You gazed across the wooden floor and, with a sudden burst of courage and warmness, your eyes sparkled with glimmer before lifting your head up to Jaehyun giving him a soft smile. As the imaginary thrumming rhythm of classical music whispered into their ears, you began to dance.

The two of you danced as if the music was playing in the background, the joy definitely brought both of you to your own new euphoric world. For a moment, all the bitterness of reality escapes them. The only things in their new world were waves of laughter and joyless. Neither of you wanted to leave this contentment.

--

As the math lesson droned on, your mind wandered, your fingers idly sketching in your notebook. You let out a sigh of boredom, your gaze drifting across the classroom.

Spotting Seokmin dozing off, you couldn't resist the urge to draw him. With a mischievous grin, you began to sketch, adding exaggerated details to capture his sleepiness.

But as you worked, your thoughts turned to Jaehyun, and before you knew it, his image began to take shape on the page. You hesitated for a moment, unsure if you should continue, but something compelled you to keep drawing.

By the time the bell rang, signalling the end of the lesson, you had finished your sketch. But before you could erase it, your classmate Saerom caught sight of it.

"What did you draw?" Saerom asked, leaning in for a closer look.

Your heart raced as you tried to think of an explanation.

"Oh, just some doodles," you replied dismissively, hoping to avoid any further questions.

But before you could erase the sketch, Eunwoo intervened, his eyes narrowing as he examined the drawing. Your heart sank as you realized he had recognized Jaehyun in the sketch.

Before you could react, your class president, Seokmin, announced a new topic for discussion: ideas for the upcoming school festival. Amidst the chaos of brainstorming, you couldn't shake the feeling of unease that settled in the pit of your stomach.

Eunwoo's discomfort was palpable as he observed Jaehyun and Mingyu exchanging smirks over the proposed idea, a confession booth. In truth, Eunwoo wasn't fond of the idea at all. He couldn't comprehend why some people were so hesitant to express their feelings openly, especially when it came to matters of love.

"I don't think that will work. The teachers are really against any activity related to 'dating,' remember?" Seokmin interjected, disrupting the class's momentary excitement.

A collective sigh swept through the room as frustration began to creep in. But before their disappointment could fully settle, Your voice cut through the air with a solution.

"We could propose it as a counseling booth—"

"—and keep both people anonymous," you suggested, causing all eyes to turn to her.

The classmates exchanged glances, surprised to hear you speaking up in class for the first time. For Jaehyun, your newfound assertiveness sparked an unfamiliar emotion within him. Unsure of what to make of it, he felt his heart leap in response to witnessing this side of you.

Indirectly, they signalled their agreement with the proposal, nodding slowly in unison.

"Hey, that's a good idea, y/n," Seokmin chimed in awkwardly, quickly adapting to the new dynamic.

"We all could do that, right?"

The class nodded in agreement, settling on the suggestion as they prepared to distribute tasks for the event. However, their planning was interrupted by Eunwoo's question.

"Do y/n and I still need to contribute to the booth?" he asked. "We'll be busy practising for the festival."

The classroom collectively sighed at his reluctance to participate, understanding that Eunwoo was trying to avoid additional responsibilities. They had grown accustomed to his behavior by now.

"You can be excused if you want," Seokmin offered before you interjected.

"I don't mind helping. I could assist on the day of the event before our performance," you volunteered.

The class fell silent, taken aback by your newfound assertiveness. The quiet, reserved girl they once knew was now speaking up and refusing to be overlooked. With your willingness to help, the class agreed to let her assist on the day of the event while they assigned tasks to others.

--

Jaehyun let out a heavy sigh as he sank down onto his haunches, attempting to make himself as inconspicuous as possible. He couldn't bear to face the reality of the situation unfolding before him: sitting in a room with Mr. Lee, the guidance counselor who should have been eyeing him for the scholarship, instead focusing on Eunwoo.

He had never wanted to escape a room more desperately.

"Come to think of it, Eunwoo has more potential," Mr. Lee remarked. "I spoke to your homeroom teacher. You're interested in becoming an architect now. There are plenty more scholarship opportunities in that field."

Jaehyun struggled to contain his emotions. This was the second time this month that Mr. Lee and the counselor had summoned him to their office, each time subtly indicating that they favored Eunwoo and were prepared to overlook Jaehyun.

In a fit of rage, Jaehyun threw open the door and stormed out, his anger simmering just beneath the surface. But as he prepared to unleash his pent-up frustration, he heard someone calling out to him, causing Jaehyun to turn slightly.

"We need to talk," Eunwoo said.

The basketball court was silent as Jaehyun and Eunwoo took their seats on the benches, bracing themselves for a difficult conversation. The tension between them hung heavy in the air, stifling any attempts at casual conversation. Finally, Eunwoo broke the silence.

"Let me take the offer," he said.

With those words, Jaehyun felt a surge of anger rising within him. The scholarship meant everything to him—it was his ticket to a better future, one that would lift his family out of poverty.

"They may not say it, but they're choosing me because my father has more to offer than yours. Enroll in the architecture course instead." Eunwoo continued.

Jaehyun stared at Eunwoo in disbelief, struggling to process what he was hearing.

"What?" he managed to utter, his voice trembling with emotion.

"Take the architecture student program offer. If this basketball issue is part of my father's plan, then he'll provide more than enough for you with architecture. But there's something you need to do," Eunwoo continued, his tone grave.

"You have to get into my father's company, Nexus Architecture and position yourself on the board."

Jaehyun felt a chill run down his spine at Eunwoo's words. For the first time, he found himself questioning Eunwoo's motives, his anger bubbling to the surface.

"Do you think this is a joke?" Jaehyun snapped, his voice laced with fury. "Do you live so comfortably that you can just dictate what others should do?"

"It's because I live comfortably that I don't have the courage to defy my father," Eunwoo replied, his voice tinged with desperation.

"They're planning to blame Evergreen Designs & Associates, y/n's company for fraud, and the next project site will be in your parents' neighborhood. It's an illegal project, approved through bribery," Eunwoo revealed.

"They're hiring inexperienced workers for the project so they can easily dispose of them afterward, and the fewer people who know, the better."

Jaehyun's shoulders sagged as the weight of Eunwoo's words sank in. It was a harsh reminder of the harsh realities faced by families like his.

"It's the game of the rich, and we're just pawns in it," a voice whispered in Jaehyun's head.

Summoning his resolve, Jaehyun met Eunwoo's gaze, his eyes filled with determination.

"So what do I do now?" he asked.

"You play the game," Eunwoo replied.

Jaehyun rested his head heavily on the desk, the weight of his unsorted thoughts and decisions pressing down on him. Lost in his own mental labyrinth, he didn't immediately register your gentle knocks on the desk.

"Maybe it's too soft," you mused to yourself, rapping slightly louder.

"Jaehyun, everyone is going to lunch. You should eat something," you urged.

Gradually, Jaehyun reoriented himself to the present, acknowledging your presence before quickly adjusting to a sitting position.

"Yes, you should too, y/n," he replied nervously, straightening his scattered stationery.

You offered him a soft smile before retreating to your desk, and he reciprocated with a shy smile of his own once your gaze shifted. His eyes lingered on the lunchbox you typically brought during their shared lunch breaks, and he found himself scratching the back of his head, mustering the courage to initiate a conversation.

"Urm, hm," he stuttered as he approached you, who looked puzzled by his sudden change in demeanour.

"Jaehyun? Are you okay?" y/n inquired, concern evident in your voice. His ears flushed crimson.

"Are you going to lunch at the school field again?"

"Oh yes, since I'm not practicing—"

"Can I join you?" Jaehyun blurted out.

"Can I join you today?"

--

As they made their way to a nearby bench, you wasted no time in starting her meal.

"I'll make it quick, okay?" you assured him, mindful of their past difficulties. Jaehyun turned his gaze to her, his hand resting on his knee.

"It's okay, you can take your time," he replied, a diagonal smile forming at the corners of his mouth.

In no time, his smile was mirrored by you. This side of Jaehyun was new to you, and you found yourself drawn to it. Memories of the shared experiences, like sightseeing among the flowers and dancing in the hall, flooded back to you, though the unspoken agreement to return to their usual aloofness afterwards lingered in your mind, questioning your significance to him. Breaking eye contact, you pushed her lunchbox toward Jaehyun as she began to speak.

"You should eat too, Jaehyun," you said, ignoring his confusion.

Jaehyun took a gimbap from her lunchbox, and the two of you made the silent lunch a routine that stretched over several weeks.

But as their classmates began preparing booths and Jaehyun became engrossed in the activity while you busied yourself with dance practice, their shared lunches gradually faded into memory.

That day y/n found yourself alone once more during lunchtime, your eyes scanning Jaehyun's vacant desk before you reluctantly left for practice.

As you reached for the door, your heart fluttered as someone on the other side. It was Jaehyun. Your eyes met, sparking a moment of anticipation in your chest. You held her breath, waiting for him to break the silence.

But as Jaehyun passed by without a word, the hope that had briefly flickered within extinguished like a candle in the wind. Leaving you standing alone in the doorway, grappling with the unanswered questions that hung heavy in the air.

The corridor echoed with the sound of their footsteps, each step a painful reminder of the distance that had grown between them. Your mind buzzed with a whirlwind of emotions, from frustration to sadness to a lingering sense of longing. You couldn't help but wonder if the silent lunches had ever held any significance for Jaehyun.

With a heavy sigh, you resigned yourself to the reality of their situation. As you turned away from the doorway, your shoulders slumped with the weight of unspoken words and unresolved feelings.

The day of the festival arrived with an air of anticipation and excitement, as students buzzed with energy about the various attractions and activities planned for the day. Among the many booths and stalls set up on the school grounds, one in particular stood out—a counseling booth, discreetly tucked away in a quiet corner.

This seemingly ordinary counseling booth held a secret—it was actually a hub for love confessions where your class had plan out to use the guise of counseling to provide a safe and private space for students to express their romantic feelings to their crushes. Throughout the day, a steady stream of nervous and hopeful students discreetly made their way to the booth, each carrying a letter or message professing their love to someone special.

You welcomed the visitor with warm smiles and reassuring words, creating an atmosphere of trust and confidentiality as you were in charge of handling the booth that afternoon.

“Hi, who would like to talk to?”, you asked.

“I would like to talk to Jaemin from the freshmen’s”, the girl infront of you whispered quietly.

You had to laugh, you were familiar with the name as it was mention quite a few times this morning. With the information, you tapped Minghao, one of your classmates who were in charge of calling out the person and you directly the girl in a small stall for her to confess. The seats were divided by a window with a black cloth, so the confessor will kept anonymous.

As you make your way back at the counter of the booth, you smiled when Jaemin figure approached the small stall of the nth time today.

“Y/n, you can go now and prepare for the dance”, your classmate told you.

“Oh right, I almost forgot about that. Thanks for filling me in.”

Just when you were about to reach the changing room for your performance, Minghao took you ny suprise when he tapped your shoulders.

“y/n, someone’s looking for you”

—

“So this is what they felt”, you thought when you quietly sat at the small stall, not knowing what to feel.

There was a moment of silence before you saw a blurry image of the anonymous person entering across the black cloth window. It sort of familiar to you but you didn’t want to jump into conclusion that fast.

“Hm, hi y/n”

You recognise the moment the person called your name.

“Hi, do you have anything to say to me?”

“I do, I have a few actually”, you can see his blurry figure going through some notes at his hands before continuing.

“I don’t know where to start, but I think it’s better off I apologise to you first for the long due lunch incident with the basketball team”.

“It’s okay, that’s too far in the past. But if it’s makes you any happier, I forgive you and for the record, I too would like to apologise for making you my impromptu lunch partner”

“NO! Don’t say that”, you was startled by the sudden protest.

“I found those lunches very helpful for me. The field was really calming and looking back to it, you looked really-“

“Y/n, what are you doing here? We need to practice “, Eunwoo suddenly opened the stall door from your side, cutting out Jaehyun’s confession.

You were puzzled at his actions. He had gone for the whole day and now he just magically appears to have some practice.

“I’m in a middle of a situation here, can you wait?”

“Of course not, I’ve been waiting for you”, as he grabs your wrist, pulling you out of the stall.

In that moment, you despised Eunwoo. The practice was a mess. He spent most of the time on his phone and scolded you for minor mistakes. After practice, he left right away. You quickly changed into your performance outfit, eager to move on to the closing ceremony.

—

As the opening of the closing ceremony approached, Y/N stood nervously backstage, dressed in her elegant gown and ready to perform the slow dance with Eunwoo. However, panic began to set in as Y/N and the rest of the team realized that Eunwoo was nowhere to be found. Without Eunwoo, their carefully planned performance was in jeopardy, and Y/N felt a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.

Jaehyun scanned his surroundings that was filled with whispers in the air as Y/N's classmates exchanged worried glances, unsure of what to do when the ceremony went off schedule.

"What's going on?" Jaehyun asked Seokmin, standing beside him in the audience.

"I heard Eunwoo isn't coming, so they can't start the show," Seokmin replied.

"What? I saw him just a few minutes ago with Ye Won."

"Really? Ye Won mentioned she was leaving. Maybe Eunwoo went with her?"

Jaehyun's anger flares up as he realizes Eunwoo's absence. By that time, the realisation that Eunwoo hadn't shown up because of Ye Won hit you like a wave of ice-cold water, leaving you with devastated and betrayed. You couldn't believe that Eunwoo would let his secret relationship with Ye Won interfere with the dance, especially after all the time and effort both of you had put into practising together.

The sting of betrayal cut deep as you struggled to come to terms with the situation. You felt a mix of anger, hurt, and sadness swirling inside her, threatening to overwhelm her entirely. As you stood there, grappling with her emotions, You couldn't shake the feeling of being let down.

"Hey, Y/N," Jaehyun approached them, catching you and the backstage team by surprise.

"I saw you practising a few times, and I know the routine. Let me stand in for Eunwoo," said Jaehyun.

There was a hint of reassurance in Jaehyun's voice as he reached out to take your hand. He knew it wasn't the ideal situation along with his casual attire of a leather jacket and jeans but he was determined to make the best of it and ensure that your hard work and dedication didn't go to waste.

Together, the two of you stepped onto the stage, Jaehyun standing in for Eunwoo as they prepared to perform their slow dance. With every step of the dance, Jaehyun kept his gaze steady, his movements precise and controlled. He didn't want to let his emotions show, especially not in front of the entire school. Instead, he focused on supporting you, ensuring that you felt confident and secure despite the unexpected turn of events.

Deep down, Jaehyun's heart ached for you. He hated seeing her upset, and he wished he could do more to ease her pain. But in that moment, all he could do was be there, standing by you side as the both of you danced together on the stage.

Although his efforts to maintain his stoic facade, there were moments when Jaehyun's eyes softened as he looked at you, a flicker of warmth and concern betraying his otherwise impassive expression. But he quickly masked those emotions, channeling his focus back into the dance, determined to support you through the performance.

After the performance, there's a brief moment of silence as the audience processes what just happened. Some whisper among themselves, speculating about Eunwoo's absence and Jaehyun's sudden appearance on stage. You and Jaehyun stand side by side, the tension palpable between them as you await the reaction of the crowd.

Suddenly, applause erupts from the audience, starting as a few scattered claps before growing into a thunderous ovation. You and Jaehyun exchange a surprised glance, both relieved and grateful for the positive response.

As you step off the stage, both of you are met with a flurry of questions and compliments from their classmates and friends. Some express curiosity about Eunwoo's absence, while others praise you and Jaehyun for their impressive performance.

The festival drew to an end, and the atmosphere was a mix of relief and exhaustion. Students began to trickle out of the venue, their energy spent from a day filled with performances, games, and festivities. Laughter and chatter filled the air as friends said their goodbyes and made plans for the evening. The atmosphere between Jaehyun and you was a mixture of relief and tension.

You exchanged awkward but sincere words of gratitude, thanking Jaehyun for the unexpected performance and support during the festival. As the usual bus approached the stop, you both boarded it.

Then, the bus neared a familiar stop, and your heart fluttered with a sudden impulse. Without thinking too much, you leaned forward and pressed the stop button, signalling the bus driver to halt. Jaehyun glanced at you in surprise, curious about your sudden decision.

"Hey, isn't this...?" Jaehyun began, but you cut him off with a smile.

"Yeah, it's the cherry blossom road. I thought we could take a walk there," you said, voice tinged with a hint of excitement.

Jaehyun's lips quirked up in a small smile, sensing the significance of the place for you. Without hesitation, both of you disembarked from the bus together and made your way to the familiar path lined with cherry blossom trees.

--

The air was cool and crisp, carrying the sweet scent of cherry blossoms as Jaehyun and you walked side by side. There was a comfortable silence between two of you, broken only by the occasional rustle of leaves and the soft murmurs of their conversation.

Suddenly, Jaehyun broke the silence, his eyes lighting up with childlike wonder as he reached out to catch a cherry blossom in his hand. His movements were graceful yet determined as if he was trying to capture a fleeting moment of beauty.

"What are you doing?", you laughed at his actions.

"I'm trying to catch a cherry blossom, to make a wish"

Both of you continued laughing at Jaehyun's determination, it definitely lit up the dark night. Jaehyun's eyes sparkled with excitement as he held the cherry blossom delicately between his fingers.

"Got it!" he exclaimed triumphantly, a wide grin spreading across his face.

You couldn't help but laugh at his enthusiasm, feeling a warmth spread through you at the sight of his joy. As Jaehyun gazed at the cherry blossom in his hand, a thoughtful expression crossed his face. You watched him curiously, wondering what thoughts were running through his mind as he held onto the delicate flower.

Finally, he closed his eyes and made a silent wish, his expression serious yet hopeful. When he opened his eyes again, Jaehyun's gaze met yours.

"Can I ask what you wished for?" you asked.

A playful smile danced on Jaehyun's lips as he looked at you, his eyes reflecting the twinkling stars above.

"Well, someone once told me it's better to wish for someone else," he chuckled softly. "I wished for you. And for whatever you wish for to be granted."

Your heart skipped a beat at his words, overwhelmed by the sincerity and tenderness in his voice. In that moment, it felt as if the world around you had faded away, leaving only the two of you immersed in a world of shared understanding and affection.

"You're silly, I wished for your happiness. So, are you happy?"" you teased affectionately.

"I'm happy with you," he confessed softly, his gaze filled with warmth and adoration. "Are you happy when you're with me?"

"Yeah, of course. Your my lunch partner"

Both of you laughed at your inside joke. As you both walked beneath the blooming cherry blossoms, Jaehyun couldn't shake off the weight of the decision he had been contemplating. The silence between you and Jaehyun was comfortable, but Jaehyun knew he had to breach the subject that had been weighing on his mind.

"Y/N," Jaehyun began.

His voice was gentle yet filled with uncertainty. Jaehyun took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts before continuing.

"Do you ever think about waiting... for me?", his words carrying a weight that hung in the air between them.

Your smile faltered slightly at Jaehyun's question, sensing that there was more to his words than he let on. You nodded, trying to suppress the unease that crept into your heart.

"I don't mind waiting," you replied, smiling.

Deep down, the feeling of uncertainty that lingered within you. You wondered why Jaehyun seemed distant lately as if he was hiding something. Little did you know, Jaehyun was wrestling with his own internal conflict.

For now, Jaehyun chose to keep his thoughts to himself, burying his inner trouble beneath a facade of calmness and composure. But deep down, the decision weighed heavily on his heart, casting a shadow over the blossoming relationship.

Years passed, and you never heard from Jaehyun. Eunwoo continued to support your life, filling the void left by Jaehyun's absence. Even with time, you couldn't shake the lingering ache in your heart, wondering what had become of Jaehyun and where life had taken him.

Meanwhile, Jaehyun immersed himself in the architecture student program in the States, throwing himself into his studies and accomplishing his and Eunwoo's mission. Yet, despite his determination to succeed, his heart remained heavy with the weight of the decision he had made. He couldn't shake the feeling of longing for the life he had left behind.

Until the day of the school reunion, your excitement surged within you as you attended the event, holding onto a small hope of meeting him again, perhaps reliving some of the memories from your university days. However, to your surprise and that of your classmates, he was nowhere to be found. Jaehyun was gone for good.

Eunwoo noticed the disappointment written all over your face after the reunion, and his heart sank for you. He felt guilty, understanding the intensity of the program and its demanding submission deadlines during that time. Thinking it best not to burden Jaehyun with this, he made the difficult decision to keep the matter to himself.

"Hey, do you want to do something? Anything would be good", Eunwoo asked, trying his best to cheer you up.

"I do, do you like to have some midnight walks?"

"Yeah sure, it's not too late for that."

Your face brightened with a glimmer of hope as Eunwoo agreed to accompany you. Leading him to the cherry blossom-lined road you once frequented with Jaehyun, you felt a sense of determination wash over you. It was time to let go of the past and create new memories, replacing the ones you once cherished with Jaehyun.

"Do you like it here?" you asked Eunwoo, looking for some reassurance.

"Yeah, it's nice," he replied, but his steps seemed slightly hesitant, and he glanced around with a faint furrow in his brow.

Your heart sank, realizing that this place didn't hold the same significance for him as it did for you and Jaehyun. Desperate to lighten the mood, you plucked a cherry blossom and extended it to him, hoping to share a moment of connection. However, he refused to take it.

"Let's keep walking"

You continued to study diligently ever since that fateful night, determined not to let lingering feelings and the past hold you back. It was time to focus and move forward. Before you knew it, you found yourself in your twenties, striding confidently through the doors of Evergreen Designs & Associates as a qualified architect.

Each day is filled with meetings and blueprints of projects, as you struggle to keep every in order. At night, you divert your tiredness to a glass of wine. Grasping on the temporary comfort it gives you.

--

As the anticipated moment arrives, Eunwoo stands in Incheon Airport, awaiting Jaehyun's arrival near the smoking area. Ignoring disapproving looks, he lights his last cigarette, finding a moment of calm in the busy airport. His thoughts drift to the day's tasks at Nexus Architects, where he's a qualified architect. He stubs out the cigarette when he sees his friend's arrival.

"You should have come out later; I haven't finished my cigarette."

"Let's just go," Jaehyun walks away with a grumpy expression, leaving Eunwoo standing in disbelief.

"You're welcome. I really don't mind picking you up at the airport."

It’s been a while since Jaehyun met Eunwoo. Even though both of them made the deal ten years back and are still very serious about it, they rarely keep in touch as for the time being, Jaehyun’s task was only to get himself on board at the company and today was the day.

Eunwoo slipped off his leather shoes at the doorstep before stepping into Jaehyun’s new apartment. The place had been fully furnished in advance when the company announced that Jaehyun would be stationed in Seoul. Jaehyun rolled his eyes at Eunwoo’s figure. Wondering out of all his high school friends, why is he still with Eunwoo.

“Do you have any cigarette? I wasn’t able to smoke the whole day at the company”, Eunwoo asked, heading to the balcony.

“I don’t smoke, Eunwoo”,

Filled his frustration, Eunwoo glared at Jaehyun. They were really the opposite of each other. He made his way to the island table as he sat, making himself comfortable while Jaehyun looked around his kitchen.

“You did great back there-”, Eunwoo praised.

“For all these years”

Jaehyun sighed. He had tried his best and push his limits to get where he is today. The memories flashback through his mind. Moving out his family to Seoul for a better and safer home, excelling the company’s student and internship program at the States and making his way to the project they aim for. He longed for some praise and rest, hoping to make the ends meet.

“Aren’t you curious about her?”, Eunwoo sudden curiosity took Jaehyun by suprise.

“I don’t know what you are talking about”,

“You definitely know what I’m talking about, she was one of our, a.k.a you, main reason of doing this”

“If you are going to talk about her, just spill it already”, Jaehyun said with all ears ready.

He wished to see you after all these years. How you were doing, did you long for him, did you even search for him. He wanted to know everything.

“She eating well, growing well, not to mention how she’s becoming into a beautiful lady over time-“, Jaehyun gave him a sharp gaze with a meaningful look of his own.

“And she’s about to be engaged with me”

There it was—the reality Jaehyun had been trying to deny, the true reason behind his eagerness to hear about your updates. He maintained his stoic expression, ensuring Eunwoo didn't see how swayed he was.

“I’m sorry, engaging with her about our family plan forever and it looks like they are still serious about it”

“Do you have feelings for her?”, Jaehyun confronted.

“Well, I do care for her, a big part of me wants to protect her”

“You’re not answering the question”

After a long pause, Eunwoo lifted his face from staring at his fingers that were playfully at the mug Jaehyun gave him. Making eye contact with Jaehyun, he embraced himself with courage.

“No, I don’t. I’m still in love with Ye Won”

“You’re a mess, Eunwoo”

Jaehyun could feel the rage building up inside him. He couldn't imagine how Eunwoo had been treating you, pretending and faking it all along. If his suspicions were correct, and you remained the same girl he knew back in high school, you would definitely be loyal and kind to him. He hated the thought.

After a late-night catch-up with Jaehyun, Eunwoo left the apartment. As the night grew darker, Jaehyun washed away his negative thoughts and went to bed.

You hurried into the convenience store near the company building, swiftly grabbing a sandwich and a can of coffee for your quick breakfast. The sudden meeting for the Tranquil Grove project disrupted your usual morning routine. This project, a collaboration between Nexus and Evergreen, held immense significance for you. It was the culmination of your parents' hard work, now entrusted to you to see through to completion. However, for Eunwoo and Jaehyun, it was merely a strategic move in their ongoing game, one they were eagerly waiting to execute.

As you pass by the can section, you swing the freezer open taking out the coffee.

"Excuse me," interrupting your action to close the freezer as the man took out another can of coffee and went straight to the reception.

"How rude", you thought.

You stood next to the man, waiting your turn to pay.

"I'll pay for hers as well"

Your fist tightly clenched in the other hand, feeling insulted. Feel that your mind made a poor decision in this situation when you grabbed the man's arm with ruthless pressure.

"Hey, do you think you could get away being rude just by buying me drinks?"

Your hands snapped back like they’d touched something hot as soon you recognised the person, his lips curled up to your reaction.

"Jaehyun?"

"Hi, y/n"

The two of you went to the Nexus Architects building together, learning that Jaehyun would also be attending the meeting. You used the short time to catch up with him, though it never seemed like enough. Just as you entered the building, you saw the board of directors gathered, including Eunwoo's father, whom both of you greeted with a bow.

"Let's grab lunch together; it's been a while," you offered, and Jaehyun nodded in agreement.

"Sure, you look great by the way"

"For someone who went MIA for years, you look great too Jaehyun"

His smile matches yours, in the moment as the two of you went back to focus on your work.

—

In no time, you found yourself irresistibly drawn back to Jaehyun, realizing he filled voids you didn't even know existed. With the work getting more intense, you find comfort in him giving you reassurance and stability that Eunwoo never gave you.

"So, tell me what was life like for you in the States",

You asked Jaehyun, leaning in with genuine interest as you sat across from him at the dinner table. He invited you over to dine at his apartment after a gruelling week, providing a much-needed break from the hectic routine.

His eyes lingered on your face, tracing every line, etching each detail into his memory. You found it hard to hold Jaehyun’s steady gaze, turning away with a shy smirk. His laughter echoed throughout the room, he found your actions adorable.

"It was nice. Though the cultural was a lot different from here, not to mention the winter", both of you laugh before his continues.

"But it nice to be at home, you know. Where the heart is"

You respond him to agree with his statement.

"How about you?"

You felt nausea churned your stomach. You did not want to remember how you got here, the lonely nights and competitive race in the reality world. You often yourself alone at the top. Now that your parents are arranging the engagement and wedding for you and Eunwoo, your heart aches.

"I... actually... I'm getting engaged to Eunwoo," you admitted, the words heavy on your tongue.

The silence took over the room after you announce. Jaehyun wanted to forget about the engagement, you deserve someone better. But he understood how you wanted to be honest to him and he was thankful for that.

"I'm sorry if this makes you uncomfortable. I should leave," you said, sensing the tension as you reached for your coat.

"No, no, no, no! Can we just… stay here for a while?" he pleaded.

"A dinner won't hurt, trust me," he lied to himself.

"Okay."

As you resumed your dinner with him, you couldn't shake the feeling that if one of you had been brave enough to stand up for your feelings, the engagement might not have taken place.

The hectic day took a toll in you, dragging your feet out of the building at night. Looking at the time, it was late for dinner as you glanced around looking at any restaurant open. Eunwoo was supposed to have dinner with you tonight but it was cancelled last minute resorting to your overtime.

As you walk around the street for a bit, you bummed into Jaehyun. With the engagement news out, it was a bit awkward for you to meet up with him like this. Regardless of the situation, he gave you a soft grin.

He gotten familiar with you schedules during the days both of you spent catching up with each other.

“Working overtime?”

“Yeah, you too?”

“Yup, those companies better pay us good”

Your laughter echoed the night as his follows you. The silence overtakes you later. You refuse to believe your reality at the moment, so did Jaehyun. Yet, in the face of uncertainty, your desire for love wins over your pride.

“Do you want to head for dinner together?”, you asked bravely.

The night deepened by laughter and shared giggles between you and Jaehyun, as if in that moment, the two of you were the only ones in the world.

“I hated the most when..”, he playfully makes you guess.

“when the meeting exceed one hour?”

“YES!-“

“It just too much for me”, you laughing.

“I hate the most when I work overtime”

“But you always work overtime, y/n. Are starting to hate your job?”

“No, it’s not like that”, you corrects him before continuing.

“It’s just I hate that I’ll feel tired over it and resort to alcohol”

He listens to you carefully. During your times with him, he never sees you drinking. In fact you always refuse to drink when he offered. It was a surprise to him you felt that way.

“Do you feel you don’t have anything else to resort too?”, he asked.

“Yes, and now that I have grown older I realise I never took some time to figure out how to distress”

Jaehyun's heart sank; he never liked seeing you unhappy. He quickly finished his drink, promptly paying for the meal at the reception. His sudden action caught you off guard, leaving you feeling bewildered. As he returned to the table, he gently took your hand in his, silently reassuring you without a word.

“Let’s get going”

“To where?”, you rushed to gather you belongings.

“To find how to distress yourself”, he said cheerfully.

Later that night, you and Jaehyun enjoyed like high schoolers. From arcades, to street shopping and finally karaoke.

“You can never miss out this. I miss this the most when I was at the States”

You can feel the excitement building as you approach a popular karaoke bar. Inside, the neon lights dazzle, and the energy is contagious as you flip through the songbook, choosing your favorites. With microphones in hand, you and Jaehyun sing your hearts out to beloved K-pop tunes, immersing yourselves in the music and creating unforgettable memories together.

“Jaehyun, I need to use the bathroom”, you tapped his shoulders in the middle of the song.

Unlucky for you, he was too immersed with the song to notice you urgent need. Jaehyun seems to be enjoying singing so much that you decide to left him in the room, as you drag your feet to door. You were about to open it but the familiar figure in the next room, stops you.

It was Eunwoo and Ye Won, lost in their own world of love.

"Hey, close the door. We can't let the fun escape," Jaehyun called out to you.

He approached you, oblivious to the situation, until he stood next to your frozen expression, ready to close the door. It was then that he realized the chaos Eunwoo had caused.

“Y/n, let’s just go. He isn’t worth your time”, he tried to get your attention.

“You knew about them, didn’t you?”

“Y/n, I didn’t meant for you to found out this way. He told me he was going to telling you, I really didn’t expect him to carry on with the engagement”

Jaehyun wanted to hug you so much, he’s been dying to do that ever since he saw you crying at the court. But he knew it would only make you uncomfortable.

“Let’s just go”

As you begin to pack your bag and rush out of the karaoke bar after using the bathroom with Jaehyun. Jaehyun insisted on walking on the cheery blossom road to your house. Too tired to argue, you simply follow him.

“Are you okay?”

“I will be okay”

“Please don’t say that”

“But I am going to be okay, Jaehyun. I’m used to this already and I see it coming”

Jaehyun remains silent, understanding the pain you're going through. Though neither of you was officially in a relationship, it's no secret that Eunwoo has a history of flings dating back to high school, while you waited faithfully for him. Now, on the brink of getting engaged to him, you can't help but feel naive for believing he would change.

“Jaehyun, I really like to spend my time with you here but I think we should go home”, your coping mechanism for alcohol is calling you.

“I refuse too”, he said sternly.

“Jaehyun, you’re always saying no to me. Please, I don’t feel good tonight”

“That’s why I’m not going to leave you tonight. At this state, you’re going to go back to drinking and make irrational decision. I am not letting you”

In a moment of raw vulnerability, you lean in and press your lips against his, seeking comfort in the warmth of his embrace that night of betrayal. But as much as he loves you, he gently stops you.

"This is not you," he whispers softly.

"Y/n, I love you but right now, you’re just confused”, taking your hands in his and massaging them delicately.

His words penetrate through the haze of your emotions, grounding you in the reality of the moment. With a heavy sigh, you nod to him as you lean into his chest.

[chocottang]

post canon designs for when they get cured <3 /j

i added the canon designs next to them bc i was going to add design notes but i gave up so im gonna write it here and you can just. look at them

OK. yapping time. lets start with cami!!

the biggest change is obviously the hair. i interpret her hair in canon to be a way for her to hide, both her evilll intentions and her true self as a way not to get hurt, it also adds to her being mysterious. i apply this not only to the bangs hiding her eyes (the windows to the soul...) but also her whole hair, that's why in the canon design i exaggerated its length and made it kind of.. curl inwards like wrapping her. its hiding her, it's protecting her, it's suffocating her, it's making her mysterious. yes i'm obsessed with her hair. the blunt cunt can also be a sort of sign of her being polished, you gotta maintan those perfect ends so it doesn't look bad.

so. in her post-canon design the hair gets CUT into a bob. that symbolizes cami being open and honest, no more hiding! no more mystery! also, she's letting people see her, she's willing to make connections, meet people, love and be loved. but it also makes her more vulnerable, she can be judged more easily, hurt again more easily, but she accepts that possibility because know she knows how to navigate life and her own emotions with the help of her friends yippieeee

also, she still has the blunt cut because at the end of the day she's still the same person, and is in fact very polished and quite serious, but the braid can get quite messy, and that shows that she's more willing to accept her own imperfections

i took the braid from the hairstyle she has in her song bc its specific to her!! no more copying joy!! but still, its similar bc joy does also wear a braid, but cami puts her own spin to it. like, instead of trying to copy and be joy, she can just take inspiration from her and admire her while keeping her own style. on the topic of personal style, i added a black petticoat under her skirt to further personalize her uniform (also it made me think of witches hehe, yes shes not gonna do evil magic anymore but that´s still one of her interests and something she has done which she has to own up to and account for) and made her ribbon curl to allude to a chameleon's tail.

also. goldami earring

ok its golden time

longer hair!!!!!!!!! bc when he left his home he let his hair grow cuz he couldn't cut it and now he's just embraced it. it's about being rebellious, it's about rejecting gender norms, it's about embracing gender non comformity! not only can nobody tell him what to wear anymore, but also he's not letting the years of indoctrination and societal standards that still haunt his every move get to him babyyyyyyyy

i got COMPLETELY rid of any yellow or gold colors, no more golden boy persona, no more influence from the golden family, yes independence! grandpa cant get to your head anymore! now he's finally wearing the uniform, although very personalized. green sweater because green!!! when he's on his own he's shown to wear it a lot in canon!

made him wear flare pants just because i think they look fun, kind of a more fem twist ig. golden painted the pink flowers himself, they represent his bond with joy! a reference to the flower they hold in inoki and the pink used in the visuals of the song, too. the family's sexist double standards won't poison their relationship anymore!

decided to go for a ribbon instead of a tie to follow with the gnc look + because ties are considered very formal, and formal clothes are exactly what he was forced to wear, so no more! now he gets to wear normal clothes for normal situations.

i tried to make him more chubby but idk if its really that noticeable, but yea. accepting his natural bodytype

and, of course, goldami earring.

i may use these designs in other drawingssss so now u know the timeline lmao

[dreamii-krybaby]

Theory on Nori’s actual personality

Ok but what if it’s revealed that Nori isn’t necessarily malicious or evil or satan’s spawn, like specifically during her time at the labs and camps.

Like yes I know she seems to be enjoying herself after the core collapse thanks to the pictures in EP4 and at the interview shown in EP6 despite Alice going berserk and smashing her own head and Yeva hurting and terrified. Not only her body language but also the fact she is resting her arm on one of the sentinels as if they were mere pets gives her almost disney villian vibes

Because to me she could be somewhat similar to N. She is a beacon of positivy, it may be simply her personality or a developed coping mechanism

It could be that her chill and cool vibes are astonishing. So it’s not that she doesn’t care or anything, she simply isn’t aware of the gravity of the situation or takes things easy.

Plus the fact that the goddam sentinels are so chill around her that even one of them lets Nori put her arm on top of them can maybe be seen as the sentinels not perceiving Nori as a threat, and more as a companion, maybe even as a friend.

Her EP6 appearance may be a red herring or is purposely made so we draw the wrong conclusion.

Bc most of her bad actions where when she was under the influence of the AS:

- Like before the core collapse happened we clearly saw in EP6 that Nori was fully possessed bc of her yellow eyes. And we in the footage you can see drones or even human limbs scattered around her, so all of that was when she was possessed.

- after the core collapse she shows to be quite friendly, it could be that she doesn’t remember a lot after her possession. Unlike Yeva who probably was still processing everything.

Tho tbh I can cut her some slack if she indeed was happy after the humans perished after the core collapse. Since you know, she was experimented and probably witnessed a lot of fucked up shit.

- When Alice mentioned that she left them to die, she also later added she had yellow eyes, again, Nori was possessed at that time. Alice probably didn’t know that the one who probably left them to die was the AS, not Nori

- Now this more of an assumption, but the fact that in Nori’s closet Khan kept boxes and boxes of “happy family memories” it probably meant their relationship was pretty good.

- And things only went south when Nori started to get visions(?). Also she constantly told Khan to build doors against the coming sky demons. Clearly she was trying to protect herself, Uzi and Khan, and probably the rest of the colony (which also included Yeva, which would go against the interpretation that Nori didn’t care much for Yeva). Also remember, it was Khan who wasn’t there for Nori, she needed him, she tried to warn him.

-Its also worth mentioning that Yeva might have not been harmed by Nori during the interview shown at EP6. Bc first there is no sharp object that could potentially be used against Yeva. (Wait now that I think about it, there is a JCJenson pen, and if u remember the pilot, that pen could have actually been used to cause Yeva’s injury but it seems to be lacking oil stains)

And its a higher possibility that Alice could have done it, as it seems she has gone berserk and drew with her own oil on the walls and is clawing at the wall, and maybeee she also used Yeva’s oil to draw.

Also Nori couldn’t have used the AS directly on Yeva due to both having the AS. And a interpretation made by @capnsaltsquid said that Yeva’s eye got damaged by the AS itself, it fucking blew up, due to her body not being very “compatible” with the AS. (Yeva my poor gal :( )

Again I think it all depends on interpretation.

Now does this mean she is a pure holy saint? No. Murder Drones is a show where most ppl aren’t really a saint. Yes..probably not even my gal Yeva. But Nori could be that at the end she wasn’t evil or smth. She could have a similar situation to Cyn.

Now personally would enjoy if she actually started off as antagonist or even villian when she got the AS at the labs and had to unfortunately learn the hard way about the dangers of the AS later. Wouldn’t mind at all if she occasionally showed moments of villainy.

And me being me, how about devil’s advocate?

Maybe she was indeed a son of a bitch at her time at the labs maybe she was happy after the destruction she caused after the core collapse.

What if Nori actually planned to get possessed? What if the AS offered her freedom by getting rid of the humans. Bc the AS drawing below her shown on the EP6 footage surrounded by body remains gives me “summoning the local Eldritch god inside of my body to do silly stuff” vibes

For all we know the AS could have given her a sense of control, power, and superiority and for a lab rat surrounded by robo-raptors and other, more aggressive lab rats, that must have felt amazing.

Also it would be nice to have a villian who fully embraces the AS, even for only a period of time.

Before you say we have Doll, I don’t think so, well partially:

-She immediately feels sorry for Uzi upon learning she also has the AS, and she promised her to help her once she finds what she is looking for.

-She also calls the AS a “sickness” via Tessa’s comment on EP6.

-A lot of ppl and myself included infer that what Doll is looking for is a cure for the AS

-Even if she uses the AS a lot more than Uzi I think Doll is simply taking advantage of it while she has it, its the only ready available tool she has. But I don’t think she necessarily likes having it. Plus Doll has more control over her body over the AS unlike Uzi.

So I would love for Nori at the beginning to embrace the AS, that loves it. Sees it as a blessing rather than a sickness. That feels a rush of control when using it.

Or we could go the more, chill route, she uses it more due to carelessness and ignorance.

And perhaps for her later go “Well maybe I don’t want this thing anymore”

But realistically from what I gathered, I see her someone who is chill, open, easy going, sociable and perhaps, careless.

Tho am begging on my knees for her to be a morally grey sassy lady.

[randomfoggytiger]

All Things: Fellig's Fate, Scully's Immortality, and Waterston's Healing

I never subscribed to the "Scully is immortal" theory, but... there might be evidence pointing to, perhaps, a momentary brush with eternal life.

CLYDE BRUCKMAN'S FINAL REPOSE

"All right. So how do I die?"

"You don't."

Two infamous lines from an infamous episode.

Setting aside Darin Morgan's thoughts on the matter (that this was a kindness on Bruckman's part, not foreshadowing), the show has, thus far, provided no through line for immortality to be considered a possible end goal.

Until Season 6.

TITHONUS

Fellig was cursed with immortality after callously hoping Death would take the life of an innocent-- one who was trying to save him-- in his place. The episode showcased his barren existence and empty, unending eternity with a punctuated, nihilistic statement: "Seventy-five years is enough. Take my word for it. You live forever... sooner or later, you start to think about the big thing you're missing and that everybody else gets to find out about but you....  Love lasts seventy-five years, if you're lucky. You don't want to be around when it's gone."

But Fellig was not blessed, nor did he bless others, with love-- an endeavor of sacrifice and respect-- while he lived. More rotations around the sun hadn't worked on that deadened part of himself until he put aside his own goals (quite literally setting his camera aside) to humanely address the tragedy unfolding in front of him (Scully dying.) Even then, not without selfish intent-- hoping to pry the jaws of Death from its newest victim and turn them onto himself.

This leads us to the crux: was Scully given immortality?

Let's presume yes, for this theory. In that case, Fellig's expressions while Death stood over her, her expression after Mulder's rationalizations at her bedside, and the lessons she had yet to learn before all things add up to a grim picture that neatly mirrors her personal journey.

Fellig stopped taking her photograph because he saw an opportunity previous victims hadn't "offered": Death had taken an unusual interest in Scully. Fellig's face changed as he lowered the camera, demanding "Did you see him?" until Scully gave a dazed acknowledgment of some kind-- implying that Scully, like Fellig, saw Death as she lay dying; and Fellig knew it. (But did Scully see Death? That appears to be left up for interpretation-- did she write off what she saw later, or was she blind to Death's presence and thought Fellig was projecting his perceptions or delusions onto her?) Obeying the photographer's instruction (because she believed him, which she half-confesses in the hospital), Scully closed her eyes and lived while Fellig, finally, died.

At Scully's bedside she admitted to but brushed aside her immortality concerns ("You know, Mulder, I don't even know how I entertained the thought. People don't live forever.") However, Mulder's assertion-- "No, I think he would have. I just think that, that death only looks for you... once you seek its opposite"-- destroyed her rationalizations and leaves us, the audience, with similar, unanswered questions.

Death seems discriminatory. But why?

Since Emily, we've known that Scully fears attachment to others-- to life, in a own way-- because of her disruptive childhood. Tithonus pointed out those correlating factors between herself and solitary, loveless Fellig: although his form of detachment is ruthlessly different than hers-- considering human attachments a drag rather than a source of comfort or strength-- both model a form of distancing self-preservation.

If that be the case, the immortality theory could be viewed in a new light: that Death teaches lessons hand-in-glove with Life. Life would give others the chance to attach and learn and grow together while Death would be the respite from those lessons and pains and griefs. And, more importantly, that Death would deny itself to those who haven't learned and grown in Life. Perhaps a concept not dissimilar to Scully's Catholic purgatory, or perhaps one that aligns with the return of restless or reincarnated souls. Perhaps both.

ALL THINGS

all things is the culmination of Scully's advance-and-retreat to life, addressing her choices, doubts, coping mechanisms, and relationships. And while I posit it was necessary for her and Mulder to have started a romantic relationship in order to kickoff the episode's moral crisis (post here), I concede that Tithonus and its ripple effects would still echo behind each step she took regardless of the status of her partnership.

Not only that, but all things also smacks of the more personal aspects of Mulder's and Scully's cases littering Season 6. The episodes following Fight the Future address the irreparable bond of their partnership, from The Beginning to Field Trip; but, more importantly, Season 6 wove Fate-- others' and their own-- into each case: those who were doomed to its inevitability and those who accepted its inevitability in order to change it. Monday's Pam is the prime example of inevitable Fate, but Drive's doomed Crumps and Triangle's lost crew members and Dreamland's disrupted men-in-black and How the Ghosts Stole Christmas's cursed ghosts and S.R. 819's controlled Skinner and One Son's burnt conspirators and Agua Mala's isolated Dales and Arcadia's terrified neighborhood and Alpha's lupus-ed Berquist and Trevor's superpowered Rawls and Milagro's heartless Padgett and etc. all fill the spectrum between Pam's helpless victimization and Fellig's self-victimization. Mulder and Scully were directly affected by these victims: Tithonus was to Scully what Monday was to Mulder; and The Unnatural through Amor Fati was to him what Amor Fati through all things was to her.

We know that Fate has its fatal way with Mulder and Scully's life. Mulder often states (during moods of higher inclination) that their quest is fated, and Scully often saves herself or her partner from various impossible situations. (If one subscribes to The Field Where I Died, she also releases them from a reincarnation cycle-- post here.)

all things itself draws a fated comparison between Scully's choices and Mulder's presence, even in absentia. He is the choice she must make; or lose him, and herself, forever in the annals of some forgotten record book in some secluded library remembered sparsely every few decades. And Scully is deeply afraid of losing herself (to Mulder's quest or through her own choices), at first incorrectly hiding from that fear in Daniel's comfort and their rose-colored past.

In that light, this episode achieves quite a few aims under the umbrella of personal freedom. Scully is enlightened, leading to her spiritual and personal freedom; that enlightenment leads her to embrace life, honoring the choices she made with regards to the men of her past and present; and that embrace allows her to break the chains Fellig passed on to her. She is ready to live-- "death only looks for you once you seek its opposite"-- and die.

A SECONDARY SPECULATION: PASSING ON IMMORTALITY

I have one last thing to posit: Death found in Fellig what Fellig discovered in Scully; and Scully purged herself of that element-- and her immortality-- whilst saving Daniel Waterston's life.

Fate, again, comes to the fore: Mulder sent Scully on an errand for his case-- a loop to Never Again's disgruntled feelings and "orders"-- but that informant taught Scully how to heal herself and "let go." Scully was subsequently drawn to spiritual healing, and brought in a healer to save Waterston before he succumbed to his heart condition.

Spiritual healing, in this case, becomes another word for Death's lesson: thwarting Fate by accepting it. Fellig threw away his life and his happiness by first sacrificing someone else's, Scully was given immortality through Fellig's sacrifice, Colleen Azar saved her own life from self-destruction; and Daniel Waterston is given a second chance because of Fellig, Scully, and Colleen's shared lesson and redemption. And thus, we arrive at the moment of Daniel Waterston's recovery-- or, rather, the moment Scully's immortality is passed on to Daniel, miraculous healing included.

all things ends on the conclusion to Scully's arc, not Waterston's; but reconciliation and change loom largely in the form of his daughter Maggie. If Death is giving Daniel Waterston a second chance, it's up to him to turn it from a curse to a blessing.

However, there's a hitch to this theory: the nurse held Fellig's hand, and Fellig held Scully's hand while immortality played hot potato from one person to the next. all things lacks a scene where Scully passes along her immortality by touch to Daniel Waterston (except their brief contact before his cardiac arrest and after his spiritual healing.) However, the immortality exchanges in Tithonus differ in the minutiae-- the knowledge of the people involved, the health of the people involved, the cooperation of the people involved-- and leave us without any concrete "method" point to. Other than, of course, the reality that Death and Fellig were playing their own game with its own rules; and that Scully's immortality only fits into their picture if she is able to play the same game and beat it. Daniel Waterston squeezes into the final rounds only by a technicality; and his entry could still be debated to the end of time.

POSSIBLE STIPULATIONS

Death, in Tithonus at least, appears to be an impartial agent, passing immortality to the person currently avoiding his eyes. In that case, he would be a neutral-- even malignant-- figure rather than one teaching Dickensian ghost lessons. Death takes life and leaves decay without mercy, burying both the nurse and the photographer eventually.

Yet, we are given this perspective by Fellig himself, a man who views Death as a toying entity.

Separate from Fellig's observations, Death is depicted as a fair but clever judge, one who spares and punishes lives equally. Further, Mulder's examination of Death's motives implies one dark and one redemptive side: "death only looks for you once you seek its opposite" would be inconceivable to a man like Alfred Fellig but could be understood and changed by a woman like Dana Scully.

Fellig's brush with Death began with the barter of one woman's life, bringing to light the cold, calculated part of his personality. He continued to exist in that darkness until one unselfish act foisted his curse upon another woman. Scully, by comparison, internalized the lesson her predecessor avoided most of his unnatural life, and saved herself and another embittered man in the process.

If coincidences are coincidences, why do they feel so contrived?

CONCLUSION

Immortality in The X-Files is either a curse or a kindness, a multidimensional consequence of one's choices and fate.

Fellig, a man consumed by his own motives, viewed it as a cruel, cyclical punishment of Death's. Scully used it as a tool to break her own cycles, save Daniel Waterston, and set herself free. Daniel-- perhaps now similarly cursed-- might have used it to move beyond his own moral failings; or succumbed, again, to the cycle of his own making.

Death, Life, and Fate are the essence of The X-Files's existence, the tools by which its world and characters are shaped. Those who wish to circumvent them are chastised. Those who work alongside them are rewarded. And those who persevere with righteous action and truthful intent despite them are awarded a new path forward.

Thanks for reading~

Enjoy!