#and yes i will have my annual reflection post ready by later this is just a note to myself to finish writing it and post it

[lesbiangallagher]

took the day off today to spend my birthday eating my favorite food, playing my favorite game, listening to my favorite music, lying down in my softest sheets, having some of my favorite weed, talking with my favorite people, and enjoying my first day of being 28 !!!!!! 🧁🩷🥰 taurus nation TAP IN

[summerdazegobye]

Journal Entry - October 1st, 2021

It’s now October and I can feel 2021 quickly slipping away. This time of year always brings about reflections for me. It’s interesting that in the fall, time seems to pass more quickly than it did in the spring. The summer flew by too, perhaps because I was enjoying it.

This year started out really rough and I had predicted that the rest would be much of the same. To my surprise, the first quarter of this year was the low point and my life has improved drastically since then. In January this year, I caught covid at my job, during my first week back after working from home for nearly 9 months. Needless to say, I was pissed and that incident later led me to quit my very good paying job. I recovered from covid with a new appreciation and perspective on my health. Covid changed how I smelled, tasted and desired. The processed foods I grew up eating no longer appealed to me. I couldn’t bare to eat it anymore. The only thing that my stomach could handle was more natural foods, like fresh produce. It’s sparked an awareness of my horrible relationship with food, something I’m working on everyday. 

Post-covid, I was struggling to stay afloat mentally. I was trying to balance working full time, taking graduate classes, conducting tele-therapy with children as an intern for the first time ever with no experience, and being a human with needs, desires and relationships. This was honestly the worst semester of school I’ve ever experienced. To make matters worse, in February, my sweet lil ferret Nova got hit hard with cancer and we had to put her down. It was very sudden and one of the most painful experiences I’ve been through. Nova meant the world to me. She had the brightest soul. The kind that would change the entire vibe when she scampered in the room. She was also so sneaky too. I’ve come to cherish the moments I had with Nova and I so very much appreciate the time we had together. Like all horrible things, there was some positives to take away. Nova’s death sparked a birth in me. I renewal of life. She taught me what was truly important in this world. Grieving my precious ferret baby allowed me to release all that I can’t control. Since then, my spiritual journey has taken off and I’m more aligned with my soul and purpose than ever.

As the months progressed, I finished my second semester of graduate school with much relief. It was a difficult semester and I took a very needed get away to the mountains of NC, on our annual family vacation. This yearly trip consists of the people in my life that are so close, they might as well be family. It was a great time full of love, good food and a healthy dose of mind-altering substances. This trip is particularly significant to me because of the relationships that were formed and the conversations that later led me to important personal discoveries. My mountain adventure was the start of a fun-filled summer that involved lots of self-reflection and growth, traveling and learning how to release things that no longer serve me. By June, it was very clear to me that my job was not in alignment with my higher purpose and was only a means on income. It had become a place where I had been disrespected so many times, in the most subtle ways. And I let it happen because I could always ration that the money was worth it. I thought good money was worth being told I wasn’t allowed to share my opinions because they were different or that I should wear a bra because I was a distraction to my coworkers. This experience was brutal and degrading, but I’m honestly so thankful for it. I will let this story stand as a reminder that nothing is worth trading my self-respect. To this day, I am still so proud of myself for standing up for myself and quitting that job. 

The rest of the summer was a haze of freedom, good times and genuinely living my best life. It was the first time in my life since I was 14 that I didn’t have a job or any responsibilities. I had the time, space and energy to pursue whatever I desired, and boy did I discover so much about myself. I became obsessed with spiritual/personal growth and took some deep dives in my own shadow. I focused on simply existing and let myself follow whatever came up for me. This magical period abruptly ended by the start of classes mid-August. I wasn’t ready to give up my time and energy for an institution I felt had already failed me. And it was quite a rough transition. I found myself having lots of sad days again. As a social work masters student, it was very apparent that the systems that are in place to ‘help’ people are the very thing that creates obstacles and stressors. I don’t see an effective way to fix the systems so I feel like the only solution is to dismantle them and create more effective ones. It seems silly to me, like we’re sweeping the floor wearing muddy boots. There’s no point. Yes, of course these people need help and we should do what we can to assist them. However, if we all focused on creating a better world and society, I know we’d be able to thrive. Anyways, that’s a whole other conversation for another day.

Fast forward and it’s now October 1st. I still feel trapped by school but I’ve adjusted to my new schedule and I’m able to have meaningful experiences that don’t make each day suck. I’m excited about the future and feel confident that I can create the life I want and enjoy. I know that I can shape my reality by speaking my intentions and desires to the universe. I feel intrinsically connected to the collective consciousness. I’m amazed at how things seem to just work out for me, which is a stark contrast to how I felt about most of my life until this point. I find it quite comical how powerful we are as human beings and I’m excited to continue to develop as a soul and energetic being. I’m excited about the new experiences I haven’t had yet and the downloads I’ve yet to receive. Life is scary and daunting but also so very beautiful and exciting. I’m so very grateful for this life. 

[yukarisensei]

Top 10 Anime of the Decade (incl. Winter Anime 2020)

Minna-san, akemashiteomedetōgozaimasu (Happy New Year)! It’s been awhile...sorry T^T. Life has been absolutely INSANE since the last time I posted, which was...omg September. OwO I honestly did not watch a lot of anime because real life has been so crazy. BUT that doesn’t mean I didn’t watch ANY anime. 

I was originally just going to post my annual Winter Anime Season post but after watching Joey: The Anime Man’s “The ULTIMATE Top 10 Anime of the Decade List” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqY25glHPxE) I wanted to look back and reflect on some of my favorite anime of the decade and share them with you guys as well. Like Joey I will also include some honorable mentions in the list. Without further ado, here are some of my favorite anime from this decade:

2010

Durarara!!

https://myanimelist.net/anime/6746/Durarara?q=durara

This was one of the first few shows that @perfectlynorm first recommended for me to watch when he and I reconnected back in 2015. I didn’t watch this show back when it first aired, but I really wish I did. The storytelling really stood out to me and I loved how all of the characters’ stories interconnected with each other. The seasons that came out later in 2015-2016 were great as well, but this first season was by far the best. 

Honorable Mentions:

- Kaichou wa Maid-Sama! (still one of the best romance/comedy anime to this day...I NEED A SEASON 2!!!)

- Shugo Chara (technically it aired years before 2010 but it’s one of the first few shows I got into during that year)

- Kimi ni Todoke (a slow burner but it’s still one of the few romance anime I go back to from time to time)

2011

Fate/Zero

https://myanimelist.net/anime/10087/Fate_Zero?q=fate

Again, this is another show that @perfectlynorm recommended back when I really started to become the filthy weeb that I still am. This was also the first show that introduced me to the greatness of ufotable’s animation. Fate/stay night: Unlimited Blade Works was amazing, but this show really blew my mind. The animation, the story, and the characters were top tier amongst the shows I watched at the time. This is a show I could recommend to new anime fans. 

Honorable Mentions:

- Uta no Prince-sama: Maji Love 1000% (this show unlocked my love for idol anime, a very memorable part of my teenage years)

- Sekaiichi Hatsukoi (still one of the best Boys Love/Yaoi anime I’ve ever watched...still waiting for the day he officially falls in love with him ugh)

- No.6 (another @perfectlynorm​ recommendation...that ending still hurts T^T)

2012

Kuroko no Basket

https://myanimelist.net/anime/11771/Kuroko_no_Basket?q=kuroko

One of my male high school friends recommended this to me...I wonder if he new that he was cursing me at the time. This show was my introduction to the sports genre in anime. To this day, this show is still one of my favorite sports anime. Yes, looking back on it now parts of this show are extremely unrealistic and is mainly loved by fujoshis, but if I were to introduce any new anime fan to the sports genre, this would be the first show on my recommendation list. 

Honorable Mentions:

- Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic (I started this show for the voice actors, I stayed for the story and characters, 10/10 would watch again)

- Sukitte Ii na yo. (another great romance anime that really builds the relationship between the two main couple...without holding out the kiss until the last episode)

- Kamisama Hajimemashita (loved the anime and the manga...I was sad to see it end and that the anime was rushed, but it’s another romance anime I could watch again)

2013

Attack on Titan

https://myanimelist.net/anime/16498/Shingeki_no_Kyojin?q=attack%20

Oh wow, @perfectlynorm​ recommendation lol. At the time, I would not have watched this on my own free will since I was (still am) weak to blood and gore. However, when I first watched this...I pretty much binged the entire first season within a week. I still remember the thrill and heart-pounding excitement I felt from watching each episode. I still have a lot of episodes to catch up on before the FINAL season (omg) comes out next fall, but I am excited nonetheless.

Honorable Mentions:

- Free! (ugh the fujoshi bait was so real in this show, but I LOVED it)

- Kuroko no Basket 2 (I was soooo hyped when I was watching this show, even while I would wait for each new episode during my Saturday ballet classes)

- Uta no Prince-sama: Maji Love 2000% (imo, the BEST Utapri season)

2014

Free!: Eternal Summer

https://myanimelist.net/anime/22265/Free__Eternal_Summer?q=free

At this time of my life, I just graduated from high school and was about to start the next big chapter of my life: college. This show really spoke to me back then because, like the characters, I was scared and uneasy for what happens after high school. I especially related to Haru’s uncertainty for the future and unwillingness to change. But as I followed his journey throughout the season I eventually felt ready to take the next step towards my future along with him. 

Honorable Mentions:

- Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun (I DIED while watching this show, it provided so many laughs that I would recommend this to anyone)

- Akatsuki no Yona (love, love, love Yona and her harem of strong ikemen...I still feel proud that @lunastories​ absolutely FELL for this show)

- Haikyuu!! (one of the best sports anime EVER...I’m so so sad it’s ending soon)

2015

Kuroko no Basket 3

https://myanimelist.net/anime/24415/Kuroko_no_Basket_3rd_Season?q=kuroko

It was very difficult to choose a favorite anime for this year, but when I thought about what show I felt the most emotions from start to finish, I picked the final season of KnB. I was reading the manga while it was still being serialized so nothing in the show came as a surprise plot-wise, but to watch this show from the very beginning to the very end made me very emotional...until Last Game became a thing (god it still hurts T^T). 

Honorable Mentions:

- Ore Monogatari! (this has to be my FAVORITE romance anime, it broke so many romance anime stereotypes and i could watch it again and again)

- Haikyuu!! 2 (it’s haikyuu, nuff said)

- One Punch Man (still haven’t watched season 2, but omg I LOVED season 1, I still remember how much my friends and I laughed for each episode)

2016

Yuri!!! on Ice

https://myanimelist.net/anime/32995/Yuri_on_Ice?q=yuri

*deep breaths* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ok. This show, as embarrassing as it is to admit, MADE 2016 for me. Like so many fujoshis and fudanshis, I ate this show up and awaited week after week for each new episode to air. I know there are so many criticisms about this show, but f**k the haters. For me, and for others, this show changed what anime could do: normalize a same sex couple without fetishizing it. 

Honorable Mentions:

- ERASED (a GREAT mystery anime, that brings a lot of feels and thrills 10/10)

- Boku no Hero Academia (omg loved it, scroll down for more of my thoughts about this show)

- Kiss Him, Not Me! (this is the anime for fujoshis, watch if you are or think you are one, trust me)

2017

Boku no Hero Academia 2

https://myanimelist.net/anime/33486/Boku_no_Hero_Academia_2nd_Season?q=boku%20no

I picked up the first season of this series before the summer 2017 anime season because of all the hype about it, and omg I was so excited for the second season. I eventually got all of my anime friends to watch it and they got so into it that we would do our first group cosplay together for the show at AX a year later. This show really made 2017 for me and I am very happy it is still so loved to this day...now I just need to start season 4 hehehe. 

Honorable Mentions:

- Hitorijime My Hero (one of my fav Boys Love/Yaoi anime cuz the main couple does not bang for every episode and actually TALK lol)

- Tsuki ga Kirei (a romance anime that i think accurately portrays an awkward, but sweet middle school romance)

- Recovery of an MMO Junkie (another fav romance anime, the main couple are absolute cinnamon rolls please please watch it)

2018

Banana Fish

https://myanimelist.net/anime/36649/Banana_Fish?q=ban

The ending of this show still breaks my heart, but this show was a huge part of 2018 for me. At first, the show’s brutal and violent themes startled me and prevented me from watching it when it first aired, but when @perfectlynorm​ convinced @passionateflame​ and I to watch this after AX 2018, I was blessed and cursed at the same time. Ash and Eiji’s strong emotional connection was what warmed and broke my heart at the same time. Rest in peace...my heart.

Honorable Mentions:

- IDOLISH7 (an idol anime that beats UtaPri to death...excited for season 2 in 2020!!!)

- Gakuen Babysitters (not only gives me endless amounts of feels and warm fuzzies, but also reminds me why i love working with kids)

- Wotaku ni Koi wa Muzukashii (THE show for otaku)

2019

Fruits Basket

Although 2019 was probably the year I watched the least amount of anime, Fruits Basket was my favorite anime of the year. It was hard to pick my favorite and to narrow down the honorable mentions, but this anime was my most anticipated show of the year. I had high expectations going into it since the original anime was a huge part of my teen years, and I was definitely not disappointed. I’m so excited for the upcoming second season in 2020!!!

Honorable Mentions:

(Edit: ok I cheated by adding 4 but all of these shows were AWESOME!)

- Dororo (one of the great surprises of 2019, 10/10 would watch again)

- Demon Slayer (jumped on the bandwagon after AX and OMG I’m so glad I did)

- Dr. Stone (SURPRISE another @perfectlynorm​ recommendation...LOVED IT)

- Beastars (...I’m not a furry...but Legosi is best boy)

Here is what I am watching for winter 2020:

Haikyuu!!: To the Top

https://myanimelist.net/anime/38883/Haikyuu__To_the_Top

YES!!! My crow babies are back after a FOUR YEAR hiatus!!!

AND that concludes my top 10 anime of the decade list. I do not think my taste in anime has changed too much over the years, but within this past year I have come to be genuinely and pleasantly surprised over anime that I never would have picked up 10 years ago. So I guess I want to approach anime with a more open mind in 2020. 

I only plan to watch Haikyuu for this winter season because I am going to be busy with student teaching and finishing off my last semester in the teacher credential program at my school. But things might change...

Anyway, thank you so much for reading this MONSTER of a list if you made it to the end. Let me know what you guys think. What were you some of your favorite anime this decade? What was your favorite anime this year? Are you watching any anime this season? I hope 2020 starts off great for all of you! Matane!

[tenroseforeverandever]

Wonderful Tonight - Chapter 1

Characters: Tentoo; Rose Tyler; Jackie Tyler; Pete Tyler; Original Character, Wilkins from Vitex Patents

Tags: hurt/comfort; angst; romance; fluff; love; Pete’s World; sexual content; drunkenness; drunken confessions; swearing; songfic

Story Summary:

On the first anniversary of the instantaneous biological metacrisis that created him, the same day he and Rose had been unceremoniously dumped in Pete’s World, the Doctor can think of a few gazillion different ways he would prefer to spend the evening, and the Annual Vitex Gala is not one of them. All he truly wants is to spend a quiet, intimate evening at home alone with Rose. But when Rose doesn’t acknowledge the significance of the date, the Doctor finds the strain and rejection he has worked so hard to overcome surfacing again, leaving him feeling vulnerable and insecure.

A song fic, based on the song Wonderful Tonight, by Eric Clapton.

Notes:

This story has been in the works since Christmas and was intended to be finished by Tentoosday in February. LOLOLOLOL So, right on schedule for me, then!

Written for @doctorroseprompts‘s Tentoosday event.

Many thanks to my brilliant betas mrsbertucci and @rose--nebula​ who have taken the time out of their very busy schedules to look this story over for me.

Four Chapters, posting on Wednesdays

Read also at: AO3; Teaspoon; FF

Summary, Chapter 1:

Feeling out of sorts on the first anniversary of being left in Pete’s world with Rose, the Doctor is worried Jackie will blame him if they show up late to the Annual Vitex Gala, and frustrated that Rose isn’t ready to leave when he is.

--oOo--

It's late in the evening; she's wondering what clothes to wear

She puts on her make-up and brushes her long blonde hair

And then she asks me, “Do I look all right?”

And I say, "Yes, you look wonderful tonight.”

The Doctor stood in the front hall of the little flat, peering at his reflection in the full-length mirror. He ran a tongue over his teeth, and tilting his head from side to side, critically assessed the controlled chaos that was his hair. Giving his fringe a final tweak, he stepped back and swivelled back and forth, his lip curling at the sight of the tuxedo. Well, at least his feet would be comfortable in the black and white Chucks he’d procured specifically for the occasion. After the last party Jackie had hosted, his feet had been aching for days, blistered and cramped by the uncomfortable leather dress shoes she’d insisted he wear.

Nope! Never again!

And especially not tonight of all nights. The day of his… weeeell, his first-ish birthday, he supposed, give or take the millennium’s worth of knowledge packed into his brain. He could think of a few gazillion different ways he would have preferred to spend this evening, and the Annual Vitex Gala was not one of them. The only thing that could possibly make it tolerable was the fact that he would be attending said gala with one Rose Tyler by his side.

One Rose Tyler who was distinctly not in the front hall, ready to go…

“Roooo-ooose! We’re going to be late!” He sent a little burst of annoyance along their bond.

He was usually the one who kept her waiting, primping his hair to untamed perfection. It was her own fault, really. Afterall, it was she who’d found a jar of Pompogix’s Hair Pomade (precisely as brilliant as the stuff he used to use in the Prime Universe). He could hardly be blamed for wanting to make good use of it. You couldn’t rush perfection.

Except in Rose’s case… she always looked perfect. Therefore, he reckoned, logically, there was no reason for her not to be ready to go.

He shuffled from foot to foot as he peered down the hallway to the bedroom. “C’mon, Rose! You know who Jackie’ll blame if we’re late. Me! I’m still recovering from the slap she gave me two bodies ago. I don’t fancy another one, ta!”

Rose’s head popped out from the bedroom doorway, a towel still wrapped around her hair, and her face devoid of make-up. Utterly gorgeous, but definitely not even remotely close to being ready for the gala.

“Blimey, the paps’ll have a field day with shots of you in that get-up.”

“Yeah, ta for that.” Her frosty reply was accompanied by the equivalent of a growl vibrating a warning in his mind and a dangerous little crease forming over the bridge of her nose. She grumbled as she disappeared back into the bedroom, but a few seconds later she called out, “Doctor! I need your help! Can you c’m’ere?”

She seemed a little flustered (as well she should, given the time). He couldn’t imagine how he was supposed to help. Nevertheless, he followed the sound of her voice into the bedroom and found her dressed only in knickers, sheer thigh-high stockings, and the towel on her head, poring over three gowns spread out on the bed before her. The sight of her topless might have been more enticing if he hadn’t been so frustrated.

“I can’t decide which dress to wear.”

“What the hell does it matter? You’ll look beautiful no matter what. Wear a bin bag if you like. Just pick something and let’s get a move on, before Jackie has my head for the centrepiece on the buffet.”

She huffed. “So glad I have you, then!”

“Oh, all right,” he relented, quite sure nothing good would come of him offering his opinion. He looked carefully at the three options, considering the pros and cons of each. “Wear the green one. It’s a festive colour and it’s sparkly. I quite like sparkly.”

“The green one? Really? Do you think so?” Rose screwed up her face, her nose wrinkling in distaste. “I kinda thought the sparkles were a bit naff, to be honest.”

“I knew it!” he growled through gritted teeth. He arched a judgmental eyebrow. “Why did you bother asking me my opinion? Is it some kind of test? A trap? A psychological experiment, perhaps? Hmmm?”

“Blimey, Doctor! Overreacting a bit, yeah?” Rose averted her eyes from him, glancing over the dresses again.

“Nope! I think you’ll find my response was perfectly calibrated to serve the situation at hand. You asked me for my input – which I gave quite willingly – and then, without a second’s consideration, you rejected my opinion out of hand. How am I supposed to react to that?”

Her hands flew to her waist as she turned to face him, a fierce, wolfish spark in her eyes. Her bare breasts jiggled temptingly, and suddenly any frustration was pushed to the back of his mind and he found himself forced to tamp down his body’s responses. Now was not the time for that sort of distraction.

“Oi! Eyes up here!” she snapped with a sharp tweak of their bond. (So, definitely not the time…)

His irritation wriggled back to the forefront, and with his libido conquered, he was able to retrace his earlier train of thought. “It wouldn’t matter what dress I’d selected; you’d have had some excuse not to choose it.” Oh, it felt quite satisfying to get another dig in.

“That’s not true.” Hurt transformed Rose’s face, and she placed a soft hand on his arm. Her love and sadness flooded through him. “I value your opinion, Doctor. I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t.”

As her lovely, soft, kissable lower lip wobbled, guilt gushed through him. He sighed. Despite his better judgement, he found himself spouting out more words of gala-gown wisdom. “How about the black one, eh, Rose? Classic! You can never go wrong with a black dress for a formal occasion.”

“Hmmmm… but black’s so dull. I mean it’s a beautiful dress, but it’s nearly Christmas, yeah?”

The Doctor gaped at her in stunned silence for a few charged ticks, then he threw his hands in the air. “I give up! I can’t win! Tell you what: I’ll be waiting in the lounge, planning my funeral. Jackie can throw another party to celebrate the occasion, and you’ll be able to wear the black dress to that.” He stalked away, ignoring Rose’s incoherent squeaks of outrage.

He needed to calm down. He was on edge and was letting little things get to him. He muffled his telepathic connection with Rose. Bombarding one another with negative emotions would be nothing but hurtful.  All he had truly wanted was to spend a quiet, intimate evening at home alone with her. This day held special significance for him.

That fact, in and of itself, came as a shock.

Never before had he bothered to observe the linear progression of his life; he’d never given it any thought. Even though he knew time progressed in a distinctly non-linear, wibbly-wobbly fashion, he had to face the fact that his time would now have a distinct end; there would be no more cheating death. Observing the passing years, taking time to reflect on the successes and challenges of the past and his aspirations for the future, had suddenly become something of the utmost importance. He wanted to celebrate the love he and Rose shared and how hard they had both worked over the past year to overcome the strain and rejection of being unceremoniously dumped in Pete’s World.

Instead, he once again felt redundant, useless… vulnerable, the unsettling image of Rose walking away from him at Bad Wolf Bay, rejecting him as he tried to win her favour, playing on auto-repeat in his mind.

The last thing he wanted to do was parade around at the Vitex Gala, hobnobbing and exchanging vapid small talk with vacuous socialites and tedious politicians.

He wandered into the kitchen. A nice cuppa was what he needed. The brilliant effects of the superheated infusion of free-radicals and tannins never failed to soothe him. A good, stiff drink would have been marvelous as well, but he’d learned the hard way, this new, more-human body was not very good at regulating the effects of excessive alcohol consumption. He’d be drinking plenty at the gala, later (if they ever got there); he needed to be careful not to overdo it. No, for the time being, tea would be just perfect.

He filled Rose’s mug as well, adding the perfect amount of milk (just a splash) and honey (a little, to cut the bitterness). She had her own demons to face on this particular day. Although… come to think of it, she hadn’t mentioned it, either the day – his birthday (that hurt a bit), or the demons – being abandoned by the other Doctor and, in turn, abandoning… him, the metacrisis (at least, initially). There were more closed doors in her mind than normal, but she hadn’t even given any overt hints of any anxiety through their bond. But even if she wasn’t worried, he still thought she would probably appreciate the gesture of the warm comforting beverage and it would give him a chance to apologize for his “overreacting”, however justified it might have been.

He returned to the bedroom and leaned against the doorjamb, mugs in hand, silently watching Rose as she sat at her little vanity, still in a semi-dressed state (although her hair was loose and dry now), carefully applying the finishing touches to her make-up. Analysing her reflection, she dabbed stray traces of crimson lipstick from the corners of her voluptuous mouth, then smoothed the concealer under her eyes. With a heavy sigh, she picked up her hairbrush, and pulled it through the soft tangles of her long, blonde hair. She’d allowed it to grow over the past year and it now reached almost halfway down her back. The doctor loved the silken feel of it between his fingers, loved the way it tumbled around his face when she rode him to their mutual bliss.

And, oh, that train of thought was no more helpful now than it had been earlier, but unable to resist the temptation, he stepped forward into the room. “Here, let me.” He took a gulp from his mug before setting both mugs on the vanity. He plucked the brush from Rose’s hand.  “Have a cuppa,” he offered as he gathered her hair in his hands and brushed out the ends at the back where she couldn’t reach.

“Oh, a cuppa would go down a treat. But I can’t. Just put on my lippie, yeah.”

Rebuffed again, he held his tongue. Rose hadn’t meant to be hurtful, but it seemed he just couldn’t do anything right. Although, it wasn’t like he was doing anything especially wrong... just a bit off-target, perhaps. He decided there wasn’t anything to be gained by making a fuss, but he didn’t trust his stupid gob to behave. It would be safer to just leave her to her grooming. He set the brush down firmly on the vanity and, pointedly removing her tea mug, moved toward the door.

“Doctor…?”

He turned back toward her, helpless to resist the sway she held over him. She’d always been his weakness… and his strength. She completed him.

“I was hopin’ you could braid my hair for me...”

“No doubt I could…” He arched an eyebrow at her.

“Would you? Please? Somethin’ nice and soft. You always make it look nice, yeah.”

“Will you hurry and get dressed if I do?”

“Oh, we’re not that late!”

He set her mug down again. “Not your life on the line, is it?” he snarked, but he was unable to keep a small smile from tugging at his lips.

As he gathered her hair in his hands, parting it with expert strokes of his fingers, she sighed her contentment and met his eyes in the mirror. “I’m sorry, Doctor. I love you,” she whispered.

He opened their bond, allowing his love to mingle with hers. “My precious girl, I love you too… but I’d like to be around for many more years to repeat that sentiment.” He granted her a teasing frown, and she responded with a cheeky kiss blown at his reflection. When he rolled his eyes, she chuckled and beamed at him, her tongue peeking out at the corner of her smile.

In minutes he had completed styling her hair, a long, soft braid that meandered down the back of her head. “It just needs… Oh, I know! You get your dress on, and I’ll be back with the finishing touches in two shakes.”

Leaving a bemused Rose in his wake, he rushed out of the bedroom to the kitchen. He had purchased a dozen red roses, intending to present them to her before leaving the flat that evening, but decided they would be put to much better use tucked into her golden plaits. He scrounged in the drawers for the kitchen shears and snipped several of the roses from their stems. He tucked one into the lapel of his jacket (he and Rose would coordinate) and gathered the rest of them up.

When he returned to the bedroom, he was stopped short (nearly spilling the roses from the cradle of his hands) at the sight before him: Rose, resplendent in a deep-red, satin gown. He licked his lips at the sight of her: the v-neck, off-the-shoulder bodice displayed just enough of the soft, round curves of her breasts; and the flowing, floor-length skirt sported a thigh-high slit that exposed the full length of a tawny, toned leg. She was absolutely captivating.

Shaking himself out of his daze, the Doctor swept behind her, beginning his task of nestling the flowers into her tresses. He couldn’t resist planting soft kisses to her bare shoulders and neck as he worked, and she encouraged him with soft hums, as each touch of his lips sent a surge of his arousal along their bond. With one last rose tucked into her braids, he placed a final kiss behind her ear and reluctantly pulled away from her.

“All done. Are you ready, then?”

“Almost…” She stepped back to the vanity and picked up the earrings lying there. She turned to him as she set them in her ears, her dress swirling around her. And then she asked him, “Do I look all right?”

“All right?” No words could properly express the vision of loveliness before him; he stammered, trying to find the right way to describe how she affected him, how in awe of her he was. What eventually came out of his stupid gob was the understatement of the year. He only hoped he had projected enough emotion along with his words for her to understand what he had really meant… “My darling, you look wonderful, tonight.”

[amoralto]

Playgirl: Paul! (June, 1982)

(Note: I’ve been wondering if I should include more full articles/interviews on the blog, i.e. pieces that are not already available and/or hosted online. This is one of them - more of an overview/feature piece, but worth a read nonetheless. For Paul and Linda’s 1985 interview w/ Playgirl, I typed it up a while ago here. Previous quote posts from both articles: here, here.) 

-

by Mark Rowland

He turns 40 this month, and if he is anything like the rest of us, the last 20 must feel as close as yesterday. Was it really so long ago that four working-class chums from a dingy English port town sang and laughed and shook their mop-tops to signal a crumbling of the old order and a hailing of the new? You look for the signs of age in recent photographs, but the changes are so subtle—a slight hollowing of those cherubic cheeks, perhaps a hint of wariness in eyes that used to sparkle with playful coquetry. Yes, time has been a gentle thief.

The lad who stole girls’ hearts all ’round the world is a husband of 13 years standing, and the father of four. The inveterate rock ’n’ roller divides his time between home and studio, now surfacing to promote a new album (Tug of War, Columbia), soon disappearing back into the mists of his Scotland farm. Which is just as it should be. Paul McCartney, handsome and rich and brimming with easy charm—and still the mirror in which we seek the reflection of our own youthful dreams.

“I like Walt Disney cartoons—they sort of live forever.” Paul McCartney

In fact, the last decade has not treated Paul all that kindly. When it becan he was, quite simply, a hero. By its close he’d become the subject of casual ridicule, a turnabout engineered in part by the mocking comments of his former best friend and musical compatriot, John Lennon. Any critical appraisal of his band, Wings, was bound to include unflattering comparisons to the Beatles and/or snide references to the credentials of its keyboard player, who just happened to be Paul’s wife.

And then there was Wings’ disastrous final episode, a triumphant tour of Japan that abruptly terminated when customs officials unearthed a hefty cache of marijuana in Paul’s luggage. Instead of Budokan’s concert stage, McCartney commenced a 10-day engagement “live” in the local jail, regaling his fellow inmates with renditions of “Yesterday” and “Mull of Kintyre”. Then he was deported.

“He certainly received quite a shock,” recalls Michael McCartney, Paul’s brother and the author of an affectionate family history entitled The Macs (Delilah Communications, Ltd.). “But even worse was the way the media deliberately distorted his situation. When I said I was angry at what was happening, for instance, they made it sound like I was angry at Paul. So just at the crucial moment, when the court is weighing judgment, they read the papers and think, ‘My God, even his own family thinks he’s a fool.’ It could have gone to his detriment, you know. He could have been locked up for years.”

Paul’s problem, of course, is that he has always appeared just a tad too sexy, too suave, too eager to please. His equipoise looms like a red flag to critics ready to knock him down a peg, and no matter that his temperament is genuinely affable. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen him in a bad mood,” contends rockabilly great Carl Perkins, a friend of nearly 20 years standing. “I’ve worked with a lot of greats, from Elvis to Dylan, and they could all get pretty moody at times. But Paul’s not like that. I’m sure he has a time and place, but it doesn’t interfere with his outward personality.” Though McCartney is far from invulnerable, it has never been his style to exorcise personal demons in public, a la John Lennon. Instead, he turns inward, to his family and his music. When the Beatles broke apart, Paul did both—he formed a new band with his wife.

“If you want the Beatles, go see Wings.” George Harrison

“I think I’m good. I like me, I’m good. I can dig me. Can you?” Paul McCartney

“He sounds like Englebert Humperdinck.” John Lennon

Wings took flight in 1971, when Paul and Linda joined forces with old pal Denny Laine (from the Moody Blues) and drummer Danny Seiwell. It endured, in various incarnations, for eight more years and eight more albums. Paul first conceived the band as a vehicle for playing small clubs and halls, a return to his rock roots and an emergence from the isolation that, in Paul’s view, had ultimately destroyed the Beatles. As a traveling show, Wings was a hit from the start—who wouldn’t want to hear Paul play the local pub?—but a succession of pop hits soon propelled him back to superstar-sized arenas and concert halls.

Critical acclaim was not so readily forthcoming. Without the Beatles’ special alchemy Paul’s romanticism tended to drift toward pap, lacking the spark of originality that characterized the best McCartney-Lennon collaborations. His most acrid critic, to Paul’s everlasting chagrin, turned out to be Lennon. For years they squabbled like ex’s unable to leave behind a stormy marriage, but when it came to sarcastic repartee John was in a class by himself. Japes like the one about Humperdinck, or the picture of John hoisting a pig by its ears (a wicked sendup of Paul holding up a sheep on the cover of his Ram album) wounded Paul deeply. He still has not entirely recovered; in a recent interview he claimed to draw fresh solace from his conversations with Yoko Ono. “She tells me something very important,” he revealed, “that John still loved me, after all.”

“Of course my brother and John loved each other,” declares Michael McCartney, “same as my brother and I do. Brothers have their feuds—you love ’em and you hate ’em. Oh, it’s easy enough to put all the negative parts under a microscope. I could have written a book called Paulie Dearest, slagged him to death and made millions. But it wouldn’t have been the truth. With Paul and John, though, all the dirty linen was brought out in public.”

Despite, or perhaps because of, such controversy, Paul continued to pour his energy into the music, and by 1976, his faith had been rewarded. Wings toured America that year like conquering heroes. McCartney was hailed on the cover of Time, and the band’s crack performances drew wildly ecstatic crowds and rave reviews. Amidst all the hoopla, however, Paul and Linda remained serene and jocular, causing one associate to marvel that McCartney was the only touring rock star around who knew how to keep a grip on his sanity.

”Groupies, chicks. It was fabulous. I loved it. There was no stopping me after a (Beatles) show. I was the biggest raver out. But I got to thinking, ‘What am I doing with my life? Who am I getting to know? What one chick do I know as a pal?’ And there weren’t any… Mainly, I’d sown enough wild oats. Making love does become a sort of commitment—I love the idea of vows and stuff. To tell the truth, it keeps me kind of straight.” Paul McCartney, 1974

“I’m not sophisticated, a good conversationalist, looking good all the time. I don’t think of myself like Jacqueline Kennedy or Patricia Nixon.” Linda McCartney, 1974

Paul was always the most desirable of the Beatle bachelors, and by the end of the sixties, he was the only one left. Any whiff of serious romance merited close scrutiny by the press. Thus, Linda “no relation to Kodak” Eastman was in for some rough sport, when, after a relatively swift courtship, she and Paul tied the knot in 1969. A rock photographer at the Fillmore East who’d enjoyed acquaintanceships with various rock figures previous to meeting Paul, she was dubbed the “Park Avenue groupie”—a sobriquet that says more about rock’s inbred sexism than Linda’s character. (Years later, Rolling Stone slurred Joni Mitchell in much the same fashion.)

Nonetheless, Paul and Linda took to the life of domestic bliss with remarkable dispatch, a condition rather smugly documented on their first two records together, Ram and Wild Life. Since then, however, they’ve managed to sustain the ideal of traditional marriage and family—no mean feat in this era of celebrity swapstakes. Though rumors of discord surface from time to time, from all indications, their marriage remains solid. Indeed, one of the highlights of the Wings Over America tour was Paul’s impassioned rendition of “My Love”, crooning the hook “my love does it gooood” while a smiling Linda posed before the multitudes, hands on hips, letting no one miss the implications of that particular song.

“Paul would be sort of a Republican.” John Eastman, Paul’s brother-in-law and business manager

According to the Guinness Book of World Records, Paul McCartney is “the most honored man in music.” One is naturally inclined to trust Guinness in these matters, and Paul’s statistics do tell an amazing story—over 100 million album sales, 100 million singles sales and, separately, 43 million-selling songs. Since 1970, all 10 of Paul’s records (solo and with Wings) have been certified gold by the Record Industry Association of America. The last five releases have also gone platinum (over a million units sold), and his newest, Tug of War, which features Ringo, Stevie Wonder, Michael Jackson and Carl Perkins, is certain to do the same.

During the sixties, however, only a small part of the Beatles’ fabulous success translated into personal wealth. For many years the band relied on a loose network of acquaintances to handle their financial matters—most proved either honest or competent, but rarely both. But under the guidance of John Eastman, Paul has since realized a vast financial empire, with an estimated annual income, mostly from record and publishing royalties, of about $40 million. His publishing house, MPL, originally established for tax purposes, is the largest independent song publisher in the world, holding the rights to scores from Grease, Annie, Hello Dolly, A Chorus Line, Bye Bye Birdie and Mame; standards from “On, Wisconsin” to “Stormy Weather” and “Autumn Leaves”; the entire catalog of Buddy Holly songs, rags by Scott Joplin, songs by Ira Gershwin, even the theme to the Dinah Shore TV show. And in a recent twist of fate, Paul and Yoko are currently negotiating with British mogul Sir Lew Grade to buy back Northern Songs, the catalog of early Beatles hits (including “Yesterday”) that was sold during the sixties. The whimsical Beatle has turned out to be one savvy entrepreneur.

Less publicized, however, are McCartney’s frequent gestures of charity. He’s performed various benefits for UNESCO, and, in 1979,, following a plea from then-Secretary General of the United Nations Kurt Waldheim, he personally organized a giant pop concert to raise the emergency relief aid for Kampuchea. The event and subsequent album, Concerts for the People of Kampuchea (featuring the Who, Queen, the Pretenders and Elvis Costello, among others), has netted UNICEF over $600,000 to date, according to organization officials. A concert movie will also be released around the United States and Europe this summer.

McCartney’s generosity crops up in smaller, more personal encounters. “When I first decided to become a writer, I sent a bunch of stuff to Paul,” recalls Laura Gross, now a radio interviewer at KRLA, the “Beatles station” of Los Angeles. “Then, when he came to L.A., I knocked on the door of his hotel, and he said ‘Oh yes, I’ve read your stuff, you ought to send us what you’re doing. Linda and I are very interested.’ Here I was, a stranger and a nobody, and he took the time to be kind. He gave me encouragement at a time when that was very important to me.”

“He was my boss,” observes Wings guitarist Laurence Juber, “but he was also my teacher. At one point he gave me a fairly substantial budget just so I could develop my own ideas. He’s an extremely benevolent sort of person, but he doesn’t shout about it. He’s aware of his responsibility to other talents, otherwise he wouldn’t be a nice person, and he is a nice person. Of course, he’s always got that element of cockiness about him, because he’s come such a long way. Don’t forget, he was just a kid off the street in Liverpool. That’s all any of them were.”

“Phony Beatlemania has bitten the dust.” The Clash

“I love Paul, he’s my favourite—brown, white, red, blue or green! He is the Beatles.” Little Richard, interviewed by KRLA’s Laura Gross

In 1974, Mark Lapidos decided to put together a kind of giant swap meet and communal gathering for Beatles fans. He called it Beatlefest, rented a hall, and ended up admitting 7,000 people and turning away thousands more. This year, Beatlefest will span 11 days in four different U.S. cities, as interest continues to mount in a group that called it quits more than a decade ago. “We’re not living in the past,” Lapidos insists. “You take surveys now and ask young people their favourite group and what do they say? The Beatles! Their music will not die. It is the cultural phenomenon of the century.”

Lapidos may be right. The past year has evidenced yet another spate of books and articles about the Beatles, along with discoveries of long-dormant radio recordings and master tapes by the Fab Foursome. And if anything, the hideous murder of John Lennon in December 1980 seems to have inspired fans to rekindle the flame of memory. “We simply couldn’t let that act destroy such an important part of our lives,” explains Lapidos. “Actually, we became more like family, pulling closer together after we’d lost our brother.”

The man who knew John Lennon best was devastated by his murder. Paul’s friend, Paddy Moloney of the Chieftains, remembers seeing McCartney looking “stunned. He said it was useless and tragic, (but) I don’t think it had penetrated that John was gone forever. I’m sure it took a few days for that to sink in.” When it did, Paul turned, as he always did in times of crisis, to his closest ally—music. At the suggestion of friend and producer George Martin, he shifted base from London to Martin’s studio on the Caribbean island of Montserrat, away from the obtrusive glare of the media. Once settled in with Linda and the kids, he called up Ringo, Wingsmate Denny Laine, Carl Perkins, Stevie Wonder, and embarked on the most ambitious and painstaking project of his musical career.

“I have never met a more dedicated musician than Paul McCartney. He’ll work all night on a little guitar lick until he gets it just the way he wants it. He’s a perfectionist.” Carl Perkins

The intensity of his commitment on Montserrat became its own kind of therapy. Between sessions the musicians would swim, sun on the beach, or take Jeep rides along the scenic island trails. But after two months, McCartney and Martin returned to London, where they continued to refine the material for another year. The sessions had produced two albums worth of music; the second set was still in its final stages of completion when I phoned Martin’s studio in March. A spokesperson remarked that McCartney was anxiously awaiting its public reception. “I think Paul wants to have a truly ‘musical’ success this time, not just a popular one,” she declared. “He really wants to be recognized for achieving something.”

In the past decade, McCartney’s most trying periods have often fostered his best work—McCartney and Ram, following the Beatles split; Band on the Run in 1973, when Wings was coming apart at the seams, and to a lesser extent, Back to the Egg in 1979, amidst persistent rumors that Paul and Linda’s marriage was on the rocks. But all of those efforts pale, I think, beside Tug of War. Here Paul has finally cast off the aureole of calculated cuteness that marred so much of his seventies music, and penned lyrics that are evocative, unsentimental and deeply personal. At the same time, the album’s sheer range and spunky, let’s-try-it-on spirit recalls the Beatles at their most ambitious, from the daring juxtaposition of rock ’n’ roll rhythm and big band texture that propels “Ballroom Dancing” to the graceful, quirky country swing duet with Perkins, to the hothouse funk of “What’s That”, a six-minute corker with Stevie Wonder that bears favorable comparison to Wonder’s own “Superstition”. Yet the record’s most eloquent moment is its most elemental—a quiet, heartfelt paean to McCartney’s fallen brother, entitled “Here Today.”

And if I said I really knew you well, What would your answer be? Well, knowing you, You’d probably laugh, And say that we were worlds apart If you were here today… here today.

Every era has its myths—from Jesus to Camelot to the Beatles—and every myth exists to fill the special needs of its culture. As Beatle Paul, he will always play the courtly knight, the crooning Lancelot in shining Nehru jacket. But the real Paul McCartney is no more or less than a talented musician with wife and kids, nearing middle age and trying, along with the rest of us, to sort out the various slings and arows of life’s fortune. It is no put-down to say that nothing he ever does, no matter how accomplished, can again approach the majesty of the legend he once helped create, precisely because it is a legend.

“Why should the Beatles give more?” John Lennon once asked, with characteristic bluntness. “Didn’t they give everything on God’s earth for 10 years? Didn’t they give themselves?”

So now Lennon is gone, though his restless, vibrant spirit survives among the living. And now Paul McCartney, unarguably one of the premier artists of his generation, continues with his own life’s work, which is simply to make music for the world to hear and enjoy; perhaps even be touched by.

[someguyscaliforniavoterguide]

Select L.A. County Races - November 2018

Select L.A. County Races

Broadly speaking: vote for the Democrat. I am not going to give super detailed explanations for a lot of races unless they are warranted. Where they are, I have footnoted them. I live in the East Valley so a lot of what I looked at was Valley related. I also looked into Santa Monica because Measure SM is a big deal.

State Board of Equalization 3: Tony Vazquez

In 2017, the State Board of Equalization was largely stripped of its powers and duties and gutted from 4800 staffer to 400 staffers. Still, it remains a constitutionally mandated agency that administers Property Taxes, Alcoholic Beverage Taxes, and Taxes on Insurers programs. The point of the board is to ensure that taxes are assessed fairly statewide. Yeah, it’s weird. Anyway, the GOP candidate in the race has used his platform to attack the SB60 Gas Tax (more on this later). Forget that. Tony Vazquez is a former Santa Monica mayor and while his platform for the BOE is thin, it’s better than actively destructive.

Los Angeles County Sheriff: Alex Villanueva

I’m not thrilled about either candidate in this race, to be honest. Both have ties to the Los Angeles Sheriff’s Department (LASD) but both pitch themselves as reform candidates who will address years of endemic abuse and corruption within LASD. Neither seems to be up to the job. I’ve heard some people say that Jim McDonnell, the acting sheriff, should be given a chance to put his mark on the department. I have also watched as rank and file have swung to Alex Villanueva as McDonnell has tried to enact reforms. McDonnell has ties to the former sheriff, Lee Baca, who was convicted of obstructing an investigation into jail abuses by the LASD. McDonnell has endorsements from politicians but Villanueva has the support of the local party clubs. It’s really a coin toss for me, but since I’m picking, I guess I’ll go with Villanueva - he’s the slightly more outside candidate for now, and I’ll keep an eye on this for 2022.

Los Angeles County Assessor: Jeffrey Prang

Jeff Prang is endorsed by Kamala Harris and is the incumbent assessor. His opponent is literally listed with the name John “Lower Taxes” Loew on the ballot and couldn’t even get a website together for this election. This is a pretty easy call.

Justice, California State Court of Appeal; Second District

Electing judges is dumb but since we do it, here’s some thoughts. Look: these are all qualified and smart jurists. I base my endorsements here on a mix of reviewing various endorsements with a critical eye to judges who score too high on conservative groups’ questionnaires about judicial philosophy. The L.A. Times endorses “yes” on all these candidates as a show of judicial independence, but I don’t hang with that. Judges make political choices and while I believe we shouldn’t have the power to vote on them, if we do then we might as well use that power to vote for judges who reflect our Democratic values. Certainly the GOP votes for judges that will enact their visions.

Division 1

Helen Bendix: No

Victoria G. Chaney: No

Division 2

Elwood G. Lui: Yes

Victoria Chavez: No

Division 3

Luis A. Lavin: Yes

Hamlin Dhandina: Yes

Anne Egerton: Yes

Division 4

Thomas Willhite: No

Nora Manella: No

Division 5

Lamar W. Baker: Yes

Carl Moor: Yes

Dorothy Kim: Yes

Division 6

Arthur Gilbert: Yes

Martin J. Tangeman: Yes

Division 7

John Segal: Yes

Gail Feuer: Yes

Division 8

Tricia Bigelow: No

Los Angeles Superior Court

Personally, I feel too often we see prosecutors elevated to judgeships, it’s like a pipeline from the DA to the Superior Court. To me, it’s best that a candidate have some sort of judicial experience before they get the post - as a Judge Pro Tem or as a mediator of some kind. All respect to my prosecutor friends out there, but being a judge is a different job. That said, if nobody in the race has that experience - a not uncommon event - it’s worth looking at what else they bring to the table.

Los Angeles Superior Court, Office 4: Veronica Sauceda

Los Angeles Superior Court, Office 16: Patricia “Patti” Hunter  This is the one judicial race that I really want to highlight. Hunter’s opponent - Sydne Michel - has a lot of ties to the gun industry. Her kid and her dog are both named after guns, her husband is an NRA lawyer, and the pro-gun website calguns.net made it clear that voting for her was important to advancing their interests. Vote for Hunter here folks. We don’t need pro-gun voices packing our courts.

Los Angeles Superior Court, Office 60: Holly L. Hancock  I like that Ms. Hancock is a Public Defender - we don’t see enough PDs become judges. 

Los Angeles Superior Court, Office 113: Michael Ribons

California State Senate

SD 18 – Bob Hertzberg  Sen. Hertzberg was officially reprimanded by the California State Senate in March of 2018 for his habit of hugging colleagues and constituents. In accepting the reprimand, Hertzberg stated ”I understand that I cannot control how a hug is received, and that not everyone has the ability to speak up about unwelcome behavior. It is my responsibility to be mindful of this, and to respect the Rules Committee's request to not initiate hugs." SD 20 – Connie Leyva SD 22 – Michael Eng SD 24 – Maria Elena Durazo SD 26 – Ben Allen SD 30 – Holly Mitchell SD 32 – Bob J. Archuleta SD 34 – Tom Umberg

California State Assembly

AD 36 – Steve Fox AD 37 – Monique Limón AD 38 – Christy Smith AD 39 – Luz Rivas AD 41 – Chris Holden AD 43 – Laura Friedman AD 44 – Jacqui Irwin AD 45 – Jesse Gabriel AD 46 – Adrin Nazarian AD 47 – Eloise Reyes AD 48 – Blanca Rubio AD 49 – Ed Chau AD 50 – Richard Bloom AD 51 – Wendy Carrillo AD 52 – Freddie Rodriguez AD 53 – Miguel Santiago AD 54 – Sydney Kamlager AD 55 – Gregg Fritchle AD 56 – Eduardo Garcia AD 57 – Ian Calderon AD 58 – Cristina Garcia AD 59 – Reggie Jones-Sawyer AD 62 – Autumn Burke AD 63 – Anthony Rendon AD 64 – Mike Gipson AD 65 – Sharon Quirk-Silva AD 66 – Al Muratsuchi AD 70 – Patrick O’Donnell

U.S. House of Representatives

CD 23 – Tatiana Matta CD 25 – Katie Hill CD 26 – Julia Brownley CD 27 – Judy Chu CD 28 – Adam Schiff CD 29 – Tony Cardenas Post-2016 I have often wondered what it would take for me to vote to give a seat up to a Republican - is there a figure as odious as Trump in the Democratic party? This is the race that currently comes closest for me. Tony Cardenas - my rep - has been accused of rape and is facing a civil suit from a Jane Doe; he has denied the charge and asked for a House ethics investigation. I’m begrudgingly going to vote for him, but I am hoping he either a) clears his name in the next year, b) steps aside, or c) is faces a legitimate primary because the Dems have to do better than having an accused rapist on the ballot in 2018.  CD 30 – Brad Sherman CD 32 – Grace Napolitano CD 33 – Ted Lieu CD 34 – Jimmy Gomez Kenneth Meija is a longshot Green candidate in this district - I don’t like his take on SB1 and his call to repeal it, but I would imagine a lot of people I respect might disagree with me on him overall.  CD 35 – Norma Torres CD 37 – Karen Bass CD 38 – Linda Sanchez CD 39 – Gil Cisneros CD 40 – Lucille Roybal-Allard CD 43 – Maxine Waters CD 44 – Nanette Barragán CD 47 – Alan Lowenthal

County Measure W: Yes

This is a 2.5¢ per acre parcel tax on impermeable land (i.e. the parts of land that doesn’t absorb water) to raise funds that will be used to fund projects to capture stormwater, clean it, and percolate it into underwater aquifiers. This money would double the amount that the County Flood District (if you’re in L.A. county you’re almost definitely in it, unless you’re north of Palmdale) captures and help us reduce dependence on water from outside sources.

L.A. City Charter Amendment B (Public Bank): Emphatically Yes

This charter amendment would give the city the power to establish a public bank. A public bank is a government owned bank that holds the city’s deposits and can be used to make loans to projects the city supports. North Dakota has a public bank that is extremely profitable and which funds public works projects throughout the state. Additionally, debt service payments and institutional fees can be reduced when the city has its own bank, saving us all in the long run. To be clear: Amendment B would not actually establish a bank - this would take legislative action and involve a lot of detailed analysis and rulemaking. This is just the first step in a long process, but a necessary one.

L.A. City Charter Amendment E (Realign City Election Dates): Yes

This amendment would realign the city’s primary dates to match state primary dates, lowering costs and reducing voter fatigue. We should do this.

LAUSD Charter Amendment EE (Realign LAUSD Election Dates): Yes

This amendment would realign LAUSD’s primary dates to match state primary dates, lowering costs and reducing voter fatigue. We should also do this.

Burbank Measure P (Sales Tax for General Fund): Yes

The city will experience a $20M revenue shortfall, this is a 0.75¢ sales tax to close that gap. Yes, sales taxes are regressive, but until we address Prop 13 its one of the few tools cities have to close budget gaps in California. Vote yes or get ready to see local services cut.  

Burbank Measure QS (Parcel Tax for Schools): Yes

A parcel tax differs from a property tax in that the parcel tax is applied based on a characteristic of the land while a property tax is based on its value. Here, Burbank proposes to tax each piece of improved land at 10¢ per square foot to raise $9M for schools. On a side note, this will require 2/3 of voters to confirm.

Glendale Measure S (Sales Tax for General Fund): Yes

Much like Burbank, Glendale proposes a 0.75¢ sales tax to generate about $30M annually. Vote yes or get ready to see local services cut.

Santa Monica Measure SM (Require Supermajority Council Approval for Floor Area Ratio and Height Limit Changes): NO NO NO NO

This Charter amendment would require 5 of 7 council members to approve any changes to the downtown community plan for ten years. Folks, this is slow growth nonsense. The city charter already requires a majority vote to approve any changes, requiring a supermajority simply makes it more difficult to address any projects that might be slightly out of compliance. Don’t make it harder to build things.

Santa Monica Measure TL (Term Limits for Council Members): No

This would limit any council member to three terms, whether consecutive or not. I just fundamentally disagree with the idea of term limits, and encourage you to vote no on this.

[kitanoko]

Ok so different anon, but "Todoroki and Izuku team up to try and help each other woo their crushes, the only issue is they have no idea what they're doing." WAS AMAZING WOULD YOU DO A ROUND TWO? The way your write todomomo makes me cri >

PART ONE IS HERE

Hello, its been awhile since I posted a hc and I did wanna do a part 2 for this. @negumiandtodomomo​ you asked for a festival-themed one so here it is (this isn’t related to the drama cd but oh wells)! im so sorry again my inbox is pretty full, i haven’t gotten to all the asks

I really like these two pairs together though hewhew. Most festivals in Japan happen in the summer but there are lantern festivals in Autumn in some parts of Japan :) I also sneakily added a scene related to my Tangled Au 

They’re wearing the same outfits as in this HC about another festival

Click read more below!

-the night of the disastrous horror movie meetup, Midoriya squirmed in his bed and couldn’t fall asleep. He texted Todoroki, clearly stating that he wanted to redeem himself in front of Uraraka. Todo obviously agreed; he embarassed himself in front of Momo just as much. But what should they do?

-the next day at school, they began their secret discussion. ”I say we go to the library and study. Yaoyorozu likes reading.” Todoroki suggested, and his friend facepalmed. “Isn’t the library a little bit too boring? I don’t think Uraraka-san would enjoy that.” 

-Then Midoriya’s eyes lit up. “Its the Lantern Festival this Saturday!” Todoroki knew what he meant and so at lunch, they asked their crushes individually.

-”Yaoyorozu, do you want to go to the Lantern Festival this Saturday?” Todo asked, and she looked up at him from her bento, curiously. “Just us two?” She questioned and he quickly denied it. “No, of course not, with Midoriya too, and probably Uraraka.” Todoroki recalled the time they went to the Ennichi Festival together, unplanned, and added, “we’ll have fun. Just like last time.” She toyed with the neatly folded napkin on her lap and accepted.

-Over on Midoriya’s side, he’s sitting underneath the canopy of a tree with Uraraka and Iida. He wondered how he’ll ask Uraraka without getting Iida involved. Not that he didn’t like Iida. It’s just that double dates don’t work with extra people. 

-”Is something on your mind, Midoriya-kun?” Iida said and picked up a piece of carrot. Midoriya gulped. “Actually…Uraraka-san…about the Festival this Saturday….” His face is already red, what the heck deku control urself. “wouldyouliketocomewithme” The words sewn together, exiting his mouth like a bullet fired point blank and Uraraka, chewing on her plain onigiri, bursted out cheerfully with a ‘yes’. Iida figured what was going on, and noted that he had to visit his brother in the hospital and so Midoriya needn’t ask him. 

-Saturday. Todoroki and Midoriya met up with the girls at the entrance of the festival. The boys both wore a navy blue yukata with a thick tasuki rope wrapped around their sleeves and back. 

-The girls came a minute or two after and Midoriya almost melted at the sight of Uraraka? 

-The bubbly Uravity heroine wore a blossom pink kimono, magenta coloured obi on her waist, and she had her hair up into a low bun. Momo on the other hand, wore a powder blue kimono with a matching obi, and her hair was in a chignon.

-Midoriya stuttered a bit but gathered enough courage to say “Uraraka-san, you’re very cute today. Well…well..that is everyday…but right now especially!” Uraraka was so happy, she was grinning from ear to ear and playfully punched Midoriya on the arm, “you look so cool as well! I really like the tasuki!” 

-Midoriya saw Todoroki not moving an inch and so he goes “Todoroki-kun, don’t they look nice?” He’s hinting so hard but does the thick-headed Todo get it?

- Todoroki straight up walked in front of her Momo and went “Yaoyorozu, I like you–” he somehow paused and the other three almost had a heart attack?! Midoriya wasn’t expecting him to be THAT direct right in the beginning of their hangout! 

-Until Todo finished his comment with “ — in a kimono.” Momo wasn’t ready regardless and couldn’t even look at Todo’s nonchalant expression. Uraraka puffed out a laugh. 

-Their first stop was the nijuuyaki stand because Uraraka and Momo were dessert enthusiasts. Albeit, Momo’s usual lady-like manner, she did not hesitate to swallow down a nijuuyaki in merely two bites. The red bean filling was too good to resist! Uraraka finished hers just as quick and Midoriya offered his second one to her. “Are you sure Deku-kun?” “Ya of course! I can always get more later.”

-Todo saw some of the red bean filling pour over the back of Momo’s hand and he grabbed her hand and wiped it away with the sleeve of his yukata.

-”Todoroki-san, your sleeve…it’s dirty now!” He shrugged. “I’ll wash it later.”

-Momo didn’t say it but his hand felt really warm 

-They go to the shooting range after. Though the boys turned semi-competitive in front of their crushes? Todo and Mido went to play first and they were getting so worked up over who shot more of the balloons dangling on the other side. 

-“Midoriya, I’m going to get the left column in one go.” “Not if I get it first!” 

-The other two boys playing beside them had nothing else to shoot because Todo and Mido went crazy over it.

-”Gees… UA kids.” Todoroki heard the other two boys mumble before leaving.

-Momo paid to play against Todo after and she just snipes all of them without hesitation. Todoroki pursed his lips and reminded himself to never go to the shooting range again; he successfully shot one balloon down when playing with Momo and that was only ‘cas she did a ‘mistake’ and shot off half of it already. Par for the course of Class A’s weapons specialist. “Mr.Sniper trained me for a bit actually,” she said humbly, and Todoroki mentally noted down another fact on the list of things he should recognize Momo for. 

-While that was happening, Uraraka dragged Mido to the goldfish scooping stand. Uraraka wanted to save money and so she told Midoriya she’ll watch him only. After lots of convincing from Midoriya, he paid for her and Uraraka actually really liked goldfish! 

-”GET THAT ONE HURRY, IT’S SWIMMING AWAY!” “OH…….I GOT IT!” Uraraka found herself pressed firmly against his arm, screaming and shouting in amusement, and when they both locked gazes, she flinched back. Midoriya hooked his arm at the back of his neck and tilted his head away. “We should…get back to the others!” Uraraka blurted, feeling herself stiffen, face flushed.

-Momo pointed at both of the goldfish that they chose to bring home in little plastic baggies and giggled. “The one that Uraraka-san has is green and the one that Midoriya-san has is brown….just like both of your hair colours! Matching fish, how adorable!!!” 

-Uraraka didn’t even notice until now? “Yaoyorozu-san, please!!!!” Midoriya quickly protested but Momo was enjoying it too much

-It was time for the lantern releasing ceremony at the river. The four bought two lanterns to release together. Todoroki put a hand around her shoulders, making sure Momo wouldn’t be lost in the crowd when the four headed down to the water and Midoriya finally got his chance to tease her back.

-”Yaoyorozu-san, both of you …standing so close…and are wearing blue too? How matching…” 

-Midoriya meant it in a lighthearted way but Todoroki was not impressed; he tightened his grip on her nonetheless

-Momo seemed especially bright after the comment though? 

-Everyone had their lanterns ready and when they counted down to zero, all the lights encompassed within the feather-light paper floated high high above and all around them. 

-The reflection on the river was like stars hovering over the water; ethereal. 

-the light bouncing off of Uraraka’s glowing face as she flashed her teeth in a winsome grin illuminated her joy and Midoriya was glad for once that the ‘date’ went well.

-Momo could feel Todoroki’s body heat as they stepped closer beside each other, heads lifted to admire the speckles of wanderlust in forms of small paper lanterns. His emerald eye catching gleam of the scene in front of them.

-”Are you cold at all, Yaoyorozu?” Todoroki asked her suddenly in a low voice, and she shook her head. He released his hand on her shoulder long ago but she could still feel his warmth idle on her skin. 

-She wandered as the crowd began to dissipate, if this could be an annual thing for them.

~~

note: tasuki is a piece of rope or cloth that are used to hold up their sleeves on yukatas. When worn it looks like this! I personally really like seeing guys using tasuki for their yukatas 

nijuuyaki is sorta like dorayaki but it isn’t pancakes on the outside and looks like this!

Hope u guys enjoyed this XD! 

[perfectirishgifts]

Home For The Holidays In Stylish Pajamas And Lounge Wear

New Post has been published on https://perfectirishgifts.com/home-for-the-holidays-in-stylish-pajamas-and-lounge-wear-2/

Home For The Holidays In Stylish Pajamas And Lounge Wear

Sleeper’s Iconic Party Pajama set with detachable ostrich feathers.

Holiday season usually requires a full wardrobe for countless celebrations, get-togethers and even pre party preparations. There’s the annual girls’ night out, which has become the one night each year we go full on with sparkle and paint the town red. Hosting at home has become the highlight of my holiday season in the past years. Its on nights like these when those closest and dearest gather around a lovingly prepared spread to look back on the year that was. Last year, colleagues and I did a pajama themed dinner for six. It was a fitting dress code for one memorable evening that went on till the wee hours of the morning.

A year ago, nobody sitting on that Christmas table had a clue that holidays in 2020 will most likely be spent in pajamas—again. This year has unceremoniously cancelled all plans, major celebrations, included. This is not to say that Christmas will be any less special compared to past years. There are online cocktails with close friends marked in red now on the agenda. An intimate afternoon with members of the immediate family (following guidelines for social distancing and limited number of guests, of course) are currently being finalized for Christmas day up in the mountains. Plans for Christmas Eve and New Year, which are usually large and grand, are admittedly still up in the air. It will most likely be just as low-key and pared-down as all other occasions from the last 300 days. But one thing holds true. It will remain meaningful and elegant in its simplicity.

As you prepare for your most memorable holiday at home, start with this tried-and-tested edit of chic and comfy pajamas.

Papinelle and Karen Walker’s Limited Edition Love Letter Collection

Papinelle X Karen Walker Love Letter Nightie

PAPINELLE is a sustainable sleepwear brand from Australia that creates garments you wish you never had to get out of. The brand uses natural fabrics, including washable silks, that “enhance your down time and bring a little luxury to the bedroom.” Prints from the label transport one to dreamy landscapes and horizons. PAPINELLE’s latest collaboration with designer Karen Walker features iconic botanical prints done on natural washable silk. Called the Love Letter, these prints are set against a soothing palette of pinks and blues. Apart from classic pajamas, these stunning fabrics are also done on strappy nighties, boxers and robes. PAPINELLE sleepwear is made such that you’ll want to wear them for extended periods of time. Christmas mornings that last all day are likely to be extra cozy in pair from the brand’s latest collection.

Party Pajama Holiday Collection from SLEEPER

Shearling Lulu Ballet Slippers from SLEEPER

There are several SLEEPER pajamas in the wardrobe. They are classified as garments I love to bring out on special occasions that call for sleepwear that makes a statement. My feathered black and white PJs are all-time favorites that traveling roomies and pajama dance party mates never fail to compliment. This year, the “world’s first walking sleepwear” re-launched its signature dance party pajamas to feature detachable ostrich feather trimmings, for easier care and wear. There are new colors for these PJs including: beige, red and pink gingham. SLEEPER has also just recently introduced its shearling LULU Ballet Flats for added flair as you hop on to your next holiday pajama party online.  

Odyssey Pyjamas from PHRIYA

Odyssey Pyjamas from PHRIYA

PHRIYA is a sustainable luxury sleepwear brand that “celebrates the full time dreamers.” Its founders Hans and Patricia are themselves dreamers who explain that, “we combine passion, imagination, art, creativity, innovation and social responsibility to push the boundaries of what dreams can be.” The label works with natural materials such as cotton and linen to reimagine the traditional “pyjama.” Hand-painted prints by artist Anna Glover make each set in special and truly unique. Everything from the brand is done in small batches and with close attention to detail. The Odyssey pyjama, for instance, features rounded collar lapels, lots of room for movement as well as cuffs and deep pockets with piping. There have been some days throughout this quarantine year when my Odyssey long pyjama set kept me company from sun up to a several Zoom meetings at midday and kitchen raids at midnight.

Cropped sweater and runner shorts in shade Stone from PATTON STUDIO

A classic white cropped sweater and joggers in a shade of pine from PATTON STUDIO

PATTON STUDIO is a new retail concept from the Philippines that encourages the stylish set to buy less with better design and quality. The ready-to-wear label is anchored on the idea that timeless, simple and versatile pieces are foundations of a clever wardrobe edit. Designs at PATTON STUDIO are decidedly straightforward allowing one to build from existing garments already in the closet. Pieces are also created so “you can approach your day with ease and comfort…letting you make the most out of your day, everyday.” Sets like PATTON STUDIO’s Cropped Sweaters and Runner Shorts or joggers go beyond conventional lounge wear, extending its function to cover light workouts, afternoon naps and yes, intimate holiday celebrations at home. I love how you can pair your shorts with cotton bralettes for quick yoga flow then mix it up with a cropped tee or sweater later in the day.  

Pictou Skirt made using VIRAL OFF antimicrobial copper fabric from YOYA

YOYA’s Dover Shrug is made using VIRAL OFF treated antibacterial copper infused pleated cotton.

YOYA is intellectual in its approach to fashion design. Pieces are conceived with contrasts and juxtaposition as its take off point. The brand positions itself as “a challenger of conventional notions and norms…both familiar and startling at the same time.” Its creations are classified as “uniform for the thinking woman.” This year, YOYA partnered with Polygiene Technology company, VIRAL OFF, in the creation of its Armoured Awakening collection. Garments made using VIRAL OFF’s copper infused cottons are translated into easy, versatile pieces to suit style in our times. Most designs from the collection also offer a variety of styling options so that they can transition from lounging to stepping out for errands and even a digital Christmas fete. The Dover Shrug with its micro pleating details, gathered neckline and draw cord details, can be worn in countless ways depending on occasion and mood. I love to wear this over workout gear, allowing me to transition from mat to Zoom meetings. The Pictou skirt, similarly, is a beautiful style staple this season that brings decadence and off-duty ease to your holiday at home fashion repertoire. Light pleated fabrics gathered asymmetric detail make it a piece you can actually look and feel good in.

Bagheera Long Pajama Set from PRINTFRESH

Bagheera Shorts in Forest by PRINTFRESH

PRINTFRESH was founded by textile designer and entrepreneur Amy Voloshin to reflect a love for décor, plants, pets, 70s hippie and surf culture. Its Philadelphia- based atelier works closely with socially and environmentally conscious suppliers in India. Garments from PrintFresh are made using 100% cotton poplin as canvas for whimsical prints and bold colors that “step up the WFH and lounge uniform.” Lively prints on pajama sets, robes and separates also make for beautiful statement pieces for a holiday at home ensemble. The Bagheera set, for instance, is a striking piece to wear for opening gifts and a warm cup of chocolate on Christmas morning. You may also want to wear them throughout most of the day, which isn’t such a bad idea.

Silk reversible Muse robe with artwork by Alina Zamanova from LESSLESS

Peignoir style silk robe with print from LESSLESS

LESSLESS pays homage to the art of wearing dressing gowns and 90s minimalism. As a child of the 90s, I’ve always enjoyed putting on a dressing gown—either as a style statement or for days when the only plan is relax and to stay in. Robes from this emerging brand work for both men and women. They are designed to complement an understated style sensibility punctuated with artful prints by notable female painters like Alina Zamanova. Since its launch in 2019, the well dressed set has picked up on impeccably crafted and exquisite designs from LESSLESS. Its founders, Alya and Tim Gonta write: “The dressing gown essence of the collection are silk wrap-dresses and robes a-la peignoir which freely float around the body. Their creation was driven by the Hollywood inspiration—and that is the feeling LESSLESS strives to create with their clothes.” Their reversible silk robes are style investments that make dressing up, even for small holiday celebrations at home, feel like the special occasions that truly are. Take your queue from style icon, Maye Musk who’s been spotted in LESSLESS’s linen robes.

The Kendal Pant and Athena Sweater from LEZE THE LABLE

LEZE THE LABEL is a lifestyle brand that aims to empower women through garments that help them move through days with ease. Women behind the team share that “through the comfort and styling ease of each garment, we seek to inspire women of all professions to navigate career paths freely.” Beyond the confines of a WFH set up, pieces from the brand are also great style choices for cozy Christmas mornings with family and loved ones. The Kendall Pant and Athena Sweater, for instance, is a season-less staple that feels like butter on skin. Made using recycled fishing nets, garments also feature sweat-wicking and anti-wrinkle technology. With color options in bone, black and gray, these loungewear finds are keepers for individuals with preference for a clean, contemporary and streamlined holiday look.

The Essential Belted Dress from LONDRE is made using soft, breathable and sustainably sourced … [] fabric.

The Essential Pant and Cropped Sweater are key pieces from LONDRE’s Loungewear Line.

LONDRE is an inspired ethical swimwear brand that makes women feel good. Through pieces that flatter the female form while the lowest possible impact, the company is able to connect through sincere, powerful messaging. They also resonate with women through designs that celebrate body positivity and self love. Pieces arrive to their new owners with lovingly written notes cards and tags empower through words like: “Remember that you are beautiful” and “Body Type: “So ******* Beautiful.” Its latest collection of loungewear is yet another nod to women uplifting other women. Made using sustainably harvested wood pulp and organic cotton, pieces from the range are made with comfort, movement and confidence as the main goal. In a season and year when many us find ourselves reassessing that things that truly matter, investing in essential pieces that convey hope, kindness, acceptance and positivity could just as well be the best gift you can give yourself.

More from Style & Beauty in Perfectirishgifts

[livelikebrent]

5th Annual Carve 4 Cancer Winter Sports & Music Festival

“And here you are living despite it all.” I’ve read this quote by Rupi Kaur (I adore her words) dozens of times since Brent has passed. Despite everything that has happened, here I am. Here YOU are. Living, carrying on and still standing. When Brent passed away last July, Carve 4 Cancer was the last thing I wanted to think about or put my energy towards. Honestly, I didn’t have much to begin with and I didn’t want to have any additional responsibilities. I was worried. I was worried how Brent’s family, friends and loved ones were. It was natural to shift my emotions and concerns from Brent to these people that were so close to him. I decided to put the energy I did have towards traveling and writing to help with my grieving process. But despite it all, the Carve Crew carried on. The tragic event gave the team inspiration to help ignite #LiveLikeBrent and start the planning process for Brent’s biggest and best winter festival to date. This isn’t a traditional blog entry from a Live Like Brent trip...but it’s still a worthy post.

It was probably around mid-October when I finally came to and was ready for the conference calls, email chains, text messages and solicitation for the February 3rd event. But in the mean time I met with the Crew and we visited Blue Mountain Ski Resort which has become our new home and part of the family. 

After visiting Blue we became inspired. The venue was a complete upgrade compared to our previous years, the staff was giving us an overwhelming amount of support when it was only September. While it was extremely saddening to not have Brent present, I think it’s safe to say that we were all grateful to have one another going into the 5th year for this event and we were going to put our heart and soul into it.

Weeks leading up to the event I think I felt almost every emotion possible. I’d find myself beyond upset that at 28 going on 29 years old I found myself honoring a boyfriend that was no longer on this Earth. No one should ever have to do that. No mother or father should have to bury their son. I relived the last week, days and hours in the hospital I spent with Brent. I found myself angry at times and reminded myself patience is a virtue. I just wanted it to be a perfect and exciting day for Brent’s family, friends and people that would encounter Carve 4 Cancer for the first time. I found myself anxious. I would catch myself in these emotions and try to check myself. I found myself excited looking forward to seeing everyone, to release the new merch and have the event at the new venue. I was stressed and probably any other emotion you could think of to add to the list too. Some people would say, “That’s what putting an event on is like, it’s stressful.” Yes and no. I’ve been planning events professionally for 8 years now and I’m one of the calmest event planners you will meet. I’ve been told by previous bosses that they’ve never seen me lose my cool or physically show stress - especially day of an event. One boss even told me she wanted to see me lose my cool. Sure, some of you may have lost me in a conversation on an event day as I have a thousand thoughts flying through my head like a sponsor I need to check on, or thank a donor for attending, or adjust the placement of an auction item...but I’ve never broken down. But having had this all happen and having this team along side of me has also been helpful. We’re made up of event planners, snowboarders familiar with the scene, handymen and friends that will help wherever it is needed.

I took the Friday off before the event and checked into the rental for the weekend. I wanted to get a day of snowboarding in with a trip to Colorado the following weekend. Plus, we set-up the evening prior. I had not been on my board since winter of 2016 when Brent was somewhat well enough to carve down the mountain. The winter of 2017 was the ONLY ski season he had missed. I know that upset him. But the house we stayed in was awesome with a view of the mountain, hot tub and right around the corner from Blue. Brent and I never snowboarded on Carve 4 Cancer weekends. By the time we got to the mountain to set-up we were exhausted, woke up the next day for the event and then always intended on snowboarding the day after...but always just wanted to go home and relax by that point.

Brent always wanted to help others...in any way, shape or form. I think everyone knows that and that impacted a lot of individuals. When we started planning the 2018 Winter Festival, I started receiving texts, Facebook messages and phone calls on how Brent’s friends could help. Some felt so compelled to get involved...Adam joined the team and created wooden awards for the mountain, Brendan wanted to create the day of event poster and refurbished an old chair lift , Matt offered to have his band, Fake Flowers Real Dirt, perform at the event (they ROCKED it by the way) and our Ambassador program gained several new members. Everyone wanted to help - Brent always wanted more friends to become hands on...I’m glad several decided to because they made the event that much better.

Day of the event Brent would be off shaking hands, kissing babies, interviewing and stopping by the sponsor booths to thank them while I’d be wondering around the event, troubleshooting where needed, checking on raffles/volunteers and trying to capture the day when I could. It was rare that we were together. And if we were together, he was introducing me to dozens of people. But I always made sure we could snap a photo together...

Carve 4 Cancer 2015 - 372 days before re-diagnosis

Carve 4 Cancer 2016 - 6 days before re-diagnosis

Carve 4 Cancer 2017 - 358 days after re-diagnosis

Carve 4 Cancer 2018 - Day 203 without Brent

I was never one to really take a lot of photos. Sure, every once in a while. But ever since Brent got sick we started taking more together. I don’t know how I feel about that. I think it’s a realization I (maybe we) had...memories are wonderful but it’s nice to look back at a photo you may have forgotten about. As technology advances people aren’t “living in the moment” and are staring at their screens. But I think there’s a balance you can find.

Last year’s, 2017 winter festival was a tough one for Brent. I can’t help but look back and reflect on that event now a year later. We had JUST made it back to from being in New York City for about 5 months to Philadelphia. He so badly wanted to make it back home to be at Carve. He was in an immense amount of pain that day, completely wiped, he was highly embarrassed that he needed to use the bathroom so frequently and more so that he couldn’t control his bowel due to his graft versus host disease. He wanted to party with everyone but knew he couldn’t because his body simply wouldn’t allow him to. Regardless, he muscled through it as much as he could. He did that a lot. I don’t think many people realized how much pain he was in or how exhausted he actually was...that’s because he pushed himself to do so damn much. You’d see him and think, “Well, he made it out here and he’s doing XYZ so he must be doing okay or on the upswing.” When you call Brent a “warrior” or “brave”...you really have no idea. I don’t think there’s a word yet for what Brent was because he was so much more than that.

Did I think that was going to be Brent’s last Carve 4 Cancer? No way. When his roommate, Ryan, and I carried him down his apartment staircase on July 5, 2017. He asked me, “Ais, am I dying?” I told him, “No way. You’re going to be fine.” When taking a step back and looking at it...We all knew it was bad. We all knew it was scary. I mean, it was goddamn CANCER. But we all thought it would all be “okay.”

We were all busy little bees the day of the event on Saturday. This year I found myself taking Brent’s place in where I was the one catching up with his family, family friends, people introducing themselves to me, taking interviews while also troubleshooting here and there with the team. 

Photo by Noche Studio

“He would’ve loved the event.” and “He’s so proud of all of you.” are comments we’ve been receiving over and over again. It’s downright sad. It’s bitter sweet. But it’s humbling as all hell to see the love, support and hard work pay off.  I’m confident in those words and will give my entire team an ego boost by saying this was the best damn Carve 4 Cancer event we’ve had...not only in fundraising dollars, but aesthetically, musically (check out Lawrence who blew the roof off of the Vista Ballroom) and everything in between. I mean, we had a beer named after Brent with Yards called Uncle Brent’s Brew! We had Murf Meyer as our emcee! We are a 501c3 non-profit and this year we were as professional as a snowboard/ski charity could be. Not to mention we were published in Method Snowboarding Magazine...

If you didn’t make it out to the 2018 Carve 4 Cancer Winter Sports and Music Festival, I hope we will get to see you next year. Without Brent, I do understand it’s not the same. But you’re support is so appreciated by myself, the Carve Crew and the Evans family. We’re excited to continue to expand Carve and raise funds for the mission. But shredding blood cancers starts with you.

[canaxalberona-blog]

AU’s: RWBY, Canon Divergent

The following Verses are accepted in this blog and will be labeled as such.

Threads with those verses will be marked with v; *____

RWBY VERSE

v; Huntress of the Cards (as Teacher)    v; CELL (as Student)

Semblance: Fairy Glitter (Dust Infused Deck)

Teacher at Vacuo

v; Huntress of the Cards

Age: 27, 2nd Year Teacher, Defense Mastery

Cana has been a teacher at Vacuo for over two years, teaching defense and technique mastery. Her adept Dust Infused cards have made her a prior champion in the 32nd Annual Vytal Festival. She has a history of getting herself into trouble with law enforcements back home and is mentor to Scarlet David (based on his Origin affiliation to Peter Pan in Scarlet).

At some point during the series, she has had a run in with Qrow and Winter, but her talks with either one of them give her headaches. Winter chastises her for her inappropriate dressing as a teacher and Qrow just flirts with her constantly.

Student at Vacuo

v; CELL

Age: 18, 2nd Year Student

As leader of Team CELL (Cana, Evergreen, Laki, and Lisanna), Cana has been leading the team in strong hand-to-hand combat. Although her choice of combat is stronger to distance and long range, she has shown that she is quick to adapt to any situation.

Her bands on her wrist and arms also show that she has a strong resiliency to electrical attacks and can absorb electrical damage which she can re-direct to her cards if used in a quick motion. Otherwise, she cannot hold onto the electrical charge for more than two minutes or she will get shocked, regardless of her band’s powers.

Does well in water conditions and her Semblance can create a band of bright light directed from her dust infused bands into a ring which drains enemy abilities.

Canon Divergent AU: Daddy’s Girl

Fiore Year X780

Fairy Tail, under the command of Makarov Dreyar was a prosperous guild. A 6 year old shows up at the doors of the bustling building, its current inhabitants bright and very well skilled. Off in the corner of the building she could see mages of different classes and ages through those doors. Unbeknownst to her an orange haired man comes out with a bag in tow and walks out of the doors to see her approach.

“Hey there little lady, you lost or something?” the auburn man asks.

The violet eyed girl shakes her head yes and holds tighter to her dog’s leash. The poor puppy whimpers as he is slightly pulled.

“Oh, sorry Cabbage” she says talking to the dog.

“Cabbage, huh? That’s a weird name for a dog”

“Gildarts, you’re going to be late. Now get a move on and get on that train” an older, but somewhat taller man says to the ginger.

“Right. I better get going” he says as he takes a few steps.

Gildarts. That was him. No doubt about it. Almost losing sight of the man, Cana runs a few steps and yells at him. “CORNELIA!”

The man stops in his tracks as he looks back at the small girl. The annoyed gray haired man looks at the child with a small curious tone. “Little girl, what do you think you’re doing” he scolds her.“Can’t you see Gildarts is busy and doesn’t need to be bothered?”

The small girl retreats as she is talked down to. She takes a few steps away from them, holding onto her small puppy’s body. As the little white dog barks at him, Cana retreats further. Not looking back, she bumps into Gildarts leg.

“What did you just say?” his voice asks in a low tone, almost cynical in a matter.

“I-uh—umm. I said ‘Cornelia’” she bites back the fear in her eyes.

“How do you know that name?” he continues asking, a small tear falling from his eye.

“She’s was…she is my mom” Cana says in a hushed tone.

“Now hold on a minutes, Gildarts, what is she talking about?”Makarov asks as he exchanges glances between the two. Seeing the violet eyed girl in sadness and the orange haired man’s expression, he gets the gist and walks away. “Gildarts, take your time. I’m sure you two have a lot to talk about”

Canon Divergent AU: Guildmaster’s Daughter

Phantom Lord Arc

Phantom Lord has gone to war with Fairy Tail. Feeling a sense of urgency, Cana and Mirajane call the only person they can as Cana looks at her father’s card.

Not yet.

“Laxus, you’re our only hope” Mirajane pleads as she looks at his reflection on the orb.

“Hehe, I really do hope that geyser knows he’s in over his head and should just hand over the guild to me”

“Listen you pompous ass, we’ve been hit really badly. Levy, Jet and Droy are in the hospital due to these douche bags” the brunette says as she looks up from her cards into the lacrima orb.

“What are you gonna do for me? Strip? I always did like that nice little body of yours” the blonde smirked.

“Fuck you Dreyar! You’re no better than Ivan at this point” she said in anger. Seeing his eye twitch, he hung up.

“Did you really have to go that far Cana?” Mirajane asks in desperation. “He could have helped us”

“No! Fuck him and his asshole nature. He’s not the only one with issues you know! He’s leaving us to fend for ourselves and who knows how long its gonna be until their next attack. Now lets focus on tending to the wounded and beating these guys.”

Two Days Later

The funeral of Makarov Dreyar marked on of the saddest days in Fiore. No one said a word to each other as tears streamed across everyone’s faces. Natsu held Happy tightly as Lucy shed tears in Erza’s arms.

The cold silence was short lived as the blonde approached with the Raijinshuu not far behind. The cold cobblestone floor sounded of clanking heels as the brunette came rushing at him. Slapping him clearly across his face, Cana cried as Gray and Mirajane held her back.

“It’s all your fault Laxus! You should have been here!” she screamed as the ice mage continued to pull her back into his arms.

Gildarts approached the blonde with a small envelope.

“I’m sorry Laxus, but you left us with no choice” the eldest mage said as he handed the paper to the smaller blonde.

“Your actions proved that you could not be trusted. Therefore, as the senior S-Class mage, I must expel you from Fairy Tail until such a time as deemed suitable by the Magic Council” he sighed.“You proved to us that you are not ready to lead this Guild.”

“Then who is?” he asked in disbelief.

Mirajane spoke up. “At the moment we are without a guild master until the Council appoints someone. But Gildarts is acting Master until they decide. I’m sorry Laxus” she cried as she kissed his cheek and ran off crying next to the brunette and the ice mage.

Laxus was in disbelief as he looked at the rest of the guild. Had this really happened?

[2 Different Canon Divergences I had been working on at some point in the past week. Please let me know if you guys like or if you would like to plot any of them. I will be posting these to my @dark-cana account as well portraying the darker versions and evil Guild of Fairy Tail.]

[meraenthusiast]

How Much Money Is Enough? – It May Be Less Than You Think

How Much Money Is Enough?

A hot topic these days among the FIRE (Financial Independence Retire Early) community is financial freedom.

Specifically:

“How much money is enough?” or…

“How much money do I need to stop working and enjoy life?”

To answer this, it depends on who you ask.

What do you think?

Have you ever thought about your “magic” number?

Most of us have at some point but don’t really have a rhyme or reason how they came up with it.

Let’s dive deeper and try to find out just how much money is enough….

How Much Money Is Enough?

We all know that having boatloads of money isn’t going to make us any happier, but if I were to choose between lack of or abundance, I’d choose the latter.

If I’m going to be unhappy either way, well at least I can buy stuff! 🙂

We’ve already discussed this topic in detail in several previous articles:

The Geometry of Wealth – How $$ Figures in a Joyful Life

Living With Gratitude

The 7 Elements of Achieving True Wealth

5 Bible Verses About Contentment To Make You Rich

The Mexican Fisherman Story – How Much Money is Enough?

What do other people say?

According to research, if you ask someone about their “magic” number that recently graduated dental/medical school, their answer is going to be higher such as:

$12 million – $20 million dollars

With student loan debt continuing to rise, doctors starting off older in practice and insurance reimbursements declining, being able to attain this amount is going to be very tough.

But if you asked someone closer to retirement, say 55-60 years old, they’ll usually stick closer to the $6 million to $8 million dollar range. Yes it’s doable but not probable.

When these same people are asked, “How did you come up with your number?” they’re not sure.

I had a number in mind when I first started practicing and can’t remember how I came up with it either.

Some people recall a conversation with a financial planner in the past while others may state they remember reading an article about it.

Look, I’m all about setting goals, both personal and financial. But the problem is when goals are set that aren’t well defined and have a clear roadmap of how to obtain them.

Take losing weight for example. Most that set weight loss goals don’t reach them because they don’t have a specific plan to achieve them.

Yes, exercising and eating right is important, but specifically, what types of exercise and foods need to be eaten? It’s got to be precise to work.

Unfortunately for doctors, we start behind the eight ball after our training is completed. Most of us begin with six-figure student loan debt in our 30’s. Because of this timetable and circumstances, accumulating $12+ million dollars during our working careers is tough.

And that’s problem. A significant problem.

What Can You Do?

The uncertainty that the traditional financial planning model creates is the very reason that most dentists/physicians work MUCH longer than necessary.

Sometimes working even while suffering from physical pain because in the back of their mind, they really don’t know how much money is enough.

Recently I read about a dentist in his mid 30’s that had built a practice collecting $1.8 million annually within four years of starting it. Impressive!

Unfortunately, he stated that even though he’d achieved this in such a short time span, it was ALREADY beginning to take a mental and physical toll on him.

He was already having thoughts of selling his practice and taking time to determine what he wanted to do…all before the age of 40.

The problem this dentist was facing is not uncommon….most don’t know how to create sustainable cash flow income from investment assets.

He ONLY knows how to generate revenue from laboring (with his hands) like most of us. Focusing on active/earned income instead of passive income.

Start With The End In Mind

This dentist above is a perfect example of someone that should “start with the end in mind.”

I’ll never forget my cousin (attorney that retired before 50) visited us when I first started practicing.

His first suggestion was to develop an “exit” strategy and start with the end in mind. I’ll admit, back then as a green 31-year old, I thought he was nuts.

Exit strategy? I was barely into my first month of treating patients and this guy was already talking about exiting. What did he know?

Reflecting back reminding me of an old Shania Twain song, “Don’t be stupid.”

Yes, I was stupid back then, but at least I remembered the story sooner rather than later.

What this dentist and all of us should do, is reverse engineer our situation.

By that I mean to take your monthly income and figure out how much in capital assets (passive real estate investments) that is needed to replace it.

A Simple Example

Let’s run a few numbers to see if we can get you to realize that your “magic” number might NOT have to be so large after all.

Instead of the $12+ million number, let’s look at what having only $3 million dollars in passive real estate syndication investments could produce.

At an 8% cash flow rate, $3 million would produce $240,000 per year or $20,000/month virtually tax free. How? The benefits of depreciation offsets most of the monthly income.

Question: Could you live off of $20,000/month tax-free? I bet I know the answer.

If you had a mutual fund worth the same $3 million, you’d have to pay capital gain taxes with each distribution taken.

Also, depending on the stock market, you may start to dip into the principal.

Not with a syndication. Your $3 million original investment would continue to appreciate even while you take the tax-free monthly distributions.

At the end of a typical five year hold period, that $3 million would be worth much more.

Are you ready to start building real wealth?

Join The Passive Investors Circle to get started today.

The post How Much Money Is Enough? – It May Be Less Than You Think appeared first on Debt Free Dr..

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[jaclynnicole-blog]

CALI TRIP 2018

So after the craziness of living in a rental all Summer 2017 into beginning of Fall, then staying with my sister and her husband in Orlando until October when our new house was ready to move into. For those of you that actually read my blog, you would know most of my California trips take place around September, but this was all postponed. By the time we moved in and got settled it was the Holiday season and I knew I wouldn’t be able to visit then...But I had an idea of when a good time to go was right after the Holidays...I booked my trip (In October) for my annual week trip to California for end of January 2018! Perfect to start off the New Year! 

Now my plans for my trip was the usual Photoshoots for my online magazine with my friend and photographer Ken...BUT I had to also work my trip around attending my favorite Talk Show “The Real”! The one thing I knew for sure was I was planning to attend the show at least two days in a row. Everything else time wise was planned kind of last minute with talents and availability. 

DAY 1: MONDAY, JANUARY 22ND 2018

As my trip started getting closer I got more and more prepared and everything started coming together! I was so excited to get back out there with kind of skipping a year I was so ready! Getting up at 4:30am was so worth it all! My dad and I headed to the airport around 5:30am. We got there just in time to grab a quick bite (Yay for Chick-Fil-A!). Went through security and made it onto my flight (One of the last ones! LOL!). My flight and times always seem to be the same exact flights so flight left Tampa airport around 7:20am. As soon as we took off started by keeping busy with music and reading the beginning of my book (The Hunger Games, yes I am little behind!). A few hours in I decided to start watching a movie, “Gifted”. Was a great movie I had wanted to see for awhile (Thanks Delta!). Tried to rest my eyes but definitely couldn’t fall asleep knowing the week full of plans! 5 hours later we landed at LAX! Walking off the plane I felt super excited for everything to come! I picked up my luggage at baggage claim and made myself comfortable in one of the chairs in the airport for a bit. It was around 10am so I had a bit of time to kill before my friend was going to pick me up from the airport. Around 10:30am I headed to the restroom to change into my Rising Talent Magazine Shirt and refresh before heading out as I had something super amazing and a special opportunity that literally had come up the night before my trip! As I got myself together, I reflected back to my 2016 trip to Cali and other trips each has been so different and this one was going to be just as unique and fun! So around 11:30am I got picked up and we headed to our first destination on location for a very special meeting with an young and upcoming Actress Mackenzie Hancsicsak,who many would recognize as “Young Kate” on the NBC Hit Series “This Is Us”! Yes, we were headed to their on location set! We got to our location a little after Noon...We ended up heading to eat lunch in the local mall before meeting. Mackenzie and her mom were willing to meet us in between during lunch hour so we although we didn’t have much time we fit in as much as we could in a short amount of time. Walking up into the trailer meeting Mackenzie and her mom was a special moment. I started out interviewing Mackenzie right in her trailer coming up with questions in my head. We then headed outside to snap a few photos of Mackenize for the cover. Many trailers around set we used it as a Behind the Scenes look and went with it. Walking around us were some of the other young talented actors from set, Lonnie Chavis and Parker Bates. We said hello and introduced ourselves in between our photoshoot. After we finished, we ended up talking with Mackenzie’s mom for a bit before leaving after 2pm. We headed to my friend’s house for the night to get ready for the long days ahead and went from there. Just relaxing for the night, I got prepared and confirmed everything and plans for the next day.

DAY 2: TUESDAY, JANUARY 23RD 2018

Well, part of this day and the next deserve its own blog post so I won’t go into too much detail here... Although I didn’t have to be in LA until 10:30am. We still left pretty early to be prepared for traffic etc. Couldn’t be late to what I had most anticipated 2016 trip, this trip and probably for every trip for now on. I was able to get tickets to my favorite talk show The Real. More details in my next blog post about the show itself and my experience at the show a 3rd and 4th time. After the show I had a planned Photoshoot with two young talents and at an outside location Grififth Park and the Travel Town Museum. Wasn’t too far from The Warner Brothers Lot that I was at for the talk show, so it worked out perfect. After 3pm we had set to meet. I was meeting Actress Shae Smolik who has been part of many movies among other projects and Singer Kacey FiField. We started out by taking photos and behind the scenes footage at The Travel Town Museum which had many trains and scenery that was perfect and different for my magazine. We then headed not far off to Griffifth Park for a few more photos and to film the interviess. Was super fun and loved meeting a few of the talents that I had been corresponding with for awhile online. Shae had recently taken over my Instagram to go behind the scenes of a movie she was filming on her last day with the movie. So when we finished it up was around 5pm and we headed back to my photographer and friend’s house and headed out to dinner with his wife and family. Was a long day but we made it work and I was super excited for another very jam packed day the next day, Wednesday. 

DAY 3: WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 24TH 2018 

So this day was pretty similar to my Tuesday although it was kind of flipped, LOL! We started with Photoshoots at around 9am so we getting up at 6am was a must to make it out to LA at the right time. We were headed to the LA Skyline area for a few photos with a different a feel to them than we usually take. I again had set up two young talents at the same time. One was a talented Dancer Bella who I had come to know through Instagram. I had promised her next time I had come out to California I would meet up with her for some photos. The other young talent was Actress Scarlett Fernandez who is well known from ABC’s Soap Opera “:General Hospital”. I was super excited to meet Scarlette being I have watched GH since I was a teen and love Scarlett’s character. My photographer and I had grabbed a hot coffee before our long morning and met up with the young talents starting out with the interviews. Bella was first then came Scarlett. We then headed over to the LA Bride and Skyline to start taking photos for the feature. I had to finish before Noon to make it over to the Warner Brothers Lot for me to attend Day 2 of my favorite talk show, The Real. I would have gone everyday if I could but couldn’t make it happen. We said our goodbyes and I headed to Burbank to the studio . I was super excited to attend the talk show again I don’t even think I ate much LOL! Again, I will elaborate more about my second day attending The Real in its own blog post I promise as soon as I finish this one! Once I got out of the show it was pretty late and we headed back to my friend’s house. We two headed out for a quick bite and took in everything that had happened the past 3 days. I couldn’t believe it was Wednesday. Half way through the week already. Time definitely flies when you are keeping busy and having fun. When we got back to the house, I was actually relieved the next two days was just more relaxing for me and to prepare for the busy weekend planned before I left the next Monday. 

DAY 4: THURSDAY, JANUARY 25TH 2018

So I definitely tried to sleep in knowing I had no plans but I couldn’t help to think my trip was half done with already. I actually took the time to go through the photos from the Photoshoots we had done so far during the week by organizing and editing some on my own. Took half a day to organize it all but I felt much better afterwards. I then did some catching up on some of my daily shows like yes, the talk show I attended, The Real. But first I had to watch a full day of my Soap Opera, General Hospital. I knew I would feel much better knowing when I got home I wouldn’t have to sit and watch a week’s worth of two different shows from being away. 

DAY 5: FRIDAY, JANUARY 26TH 2018

So again Rest Day 2 was definitely more relaxing. I set aside the whole day to catch up on my talk show, The Real. I even made it to that present day episode which happened to be one of the ones they filmed that I attended earlier in the week (More about that in my next blog post). I couldn’t help but to look back to earlier in the week when I attended that episode and smile. I deifnitely appreciated my two days of relaxation as my 2014 trip I ended up catching a bad cold and wasn’t up for much. I felt this was much needed and a way to clear my head from the rush of everything all week. I prepared for the next day knowing we had a ton of shoots planned a a new studio Saturday. 

DAY 6: SATURDAY, JANUARY 27TH 2018

Our plans for the day consisted of four Photoshoots at a local studio. The talents weren’t set to show up until around Noon. We headed to the studio to get there around 11am to start setting up as we had each shoot planned with a theme. My friend and Photographer was super excited to use his Bentley for a few shoots and was the first thing we got in place (Of course we drove it there!). As he was setting up around 11:30am my first talent showed up, Kirsten Denina, a young Dancer who had won a contest I held through Instagram over a year ago. It was so great to FINALLY meet her! She came all the way from Vegas and was so patient in waiting for me to come out to California so I can meet her. She brought her winning item which was a Diva Dolly Light Up Makeup Case from an awesome company I have been collaborating with for a few years now. When Kirsten got there we started right away with her interview and she had even worn her Rising Talent Magazine Shirt she purchased last year from me. Once interview was finished, and we had set up for some basic shots in front of a white background, Kirsten was ready. Around 12:30pm the next talent showed up, Actress Ava Cantrell who I had been corresponding with her and her mom for a few years now. She showed up early to prepare for the shoot. Kirsten started her photos around 1pm and we would switch in and out with Kirsten and Ava. I slipped in an interview with Ava before she headed for some more photos. Around 1:30pm, Dancer Tiana Heaton had shown up for her 2pm slot. I had been talk with Tiana and her mom through Instagram for over a year through a project I had her do for my magazine, so it was super great to finally meet her in person as well! She too had a Rising Talent Shirt so she slipped it on to start with. I filmed her interview in the shirt, and then we headed over the background to do a few photos with the RTM Shirt and Tiana. In between we were working with Kirsten and Ava as well. In between all of this, last minute I was able to get Scarlett Fernandez and her mom to stop by for a few quick studio shots, since most were done in the sun and outside the first day. I am so glad Scarlett was able to make it to the studio (the studio photos came out gorgeous!) Soon after, a very talented Singer and our last talent set to come showed up Ruby Jay. Now Ruby and her mom had made plans to meet during my 2016 trip to California but it hadn’t worked out, so here we were making it work this trip! We got right into photos with Ruby and once finished we topped it off with an interview and a little bit of singing from Ruby. Did I mention each talent had at least two outfits they took photos in? Since Ava and Ruby were introduced to each other had become friends and Ava happened to still be there we all decided to head to a late dinner. We all decide don Lazy Dog a place I had gone to my last trip following another shoot. We all chatted and hung out for hours probably from 5pm to after 8pm. After making our way outside, we talked for a bit longer and ended up not heading home until after 8:30/9pm. By the time we got home, I think I would say the longest days of my trip we were beat. Many photoshoots in such a short amount of time. Realizing I only had one more full day left of my trip to California I was trying to stay positive and keep my mind off heading home. 

DAY 7: SUNDAY, JANUARY 28TH 2018

So this Sunday was something that came up last minute as well but I was super determined to meet two talented kids that I had been following on Instagram for a few years now. Kelei who had worked on a dance project for my magazine had recently moved out to Californiai, so I was super excited to work something out with her! Dancer Kylee Paige another young adorably talented dancer who I had also promised I would get together with for some photos the next time I came out. Before our scheduled time to meet both of them, around 1pm...My photographer and I met up with a talent and Actress Casey Burke well known from ABC’s “The Middle” for a little Mexican Lunch at a place I had been to my last visit. Super fun to get to know Casey who had done a few studio photos with my photographer but I definitely wanted to meet up to feature her on the cover, so we made it work after over a year of waiting LOL! So three more photoshoots to end my last day in California. At 1pm, we met up at my photographer’s work place for some awesome photos on some train tracks with all three of them. I started with Casey doing an interview right in the conference room. Then came the two girls and we took a few fun photos for memories and then headed out to start the photoshoots. I think it was around 3 or 4pm we finished with the shoot and I went back in to finish up the interviews with the two young talents. Once we said our goodbyes, it was time to head back home. Once we got back to the house, I immediately started to organize the rest of the photos from the last few days onto my flash drive and edit what I could. around 7pm we headed back out to pick up what I just had to have before leaving California, can you guess it? In N Out! YES! Couldn’t leave without it! Came back to the house, only to still work on the photos. I love looking through what went on throughout the week and all the amazing work my photographer and friend does to help me out. We always have so much fun and take in every opportunity we can. I think it was already around 10 or 11pm when I finally finished with what I felt I needed to do before leaving the next day. 

DAY 8: MONDAY, JANUARY 29TH 2018

Although my flight wasn’t until 10:30am, I again had to leave pretty early around 7:30am. I arrived at the airport a little before 9am. I printed out my boarding pass, turned in my luggage, went through security and then looked to grab some food. I am not really a breakfast person, so I grabbed a sandwich and headed to the seating area where they board. I was all set to go home, but truly did not want to leave. How fast my trip went by was probably the craziest part. Getting on the plan to get my mind off heading home, I quickly turned on a movie, “Home Again”. I think little by little I started tearing up because I knew this trip was over. Reflecting back each of my trips out to California have been super different but each one also has been really special in their own way. Every time I got to book my flight for my next trip out to California, I always feel unprepared, but as I get closer to the date everything always seems to work itself out. Trying to make plans with talent ahead of time isn’t always the easiest schedule wise but again things always seem to work out in the end. I even have a few talents set up for my next trip (Cross your fingers it all works out!)! Landing and meeting my dad at the Tampa airport I was super quiet, tired, overwhelmed. When I got home, I immediately unpacked and tried to catch up on a few shows before heading to bed. 

*BE SURE TO READ MY NEXT BLOG POST ABOUT MY EXPERIENCE BEING BACK AT MY FAVORITE TALK SHOW THE REAL!*

[elizabethcariasa]

Beware year-end ID theft and quick cash scams

Nothing says Merry Christmas like the disembodied Santa head lights (click for a closer, clearer view) that brighten our fireplace hearth each holiday season. (Please ignore my reflected selfie!) And yes, this and other Christmas decorations are already, before Thanksgiving, up at our house! Ho, Ho, Ho!

I know we've yet to celebrate Thanksgiving, but I can tell that Christmas is near, too.

How?

Well, in addition to having already decorated our house (interior only so far for us, but Santa displays already adorn some of our neighbors' front yards) for Santa's annual arrival, I'm getting the usual year-end flood of spam phishing scams promising me money just in time for the gift buying season.

So far, I've been contacted by the presidents of Benin and Nigeria (is this a step up from the old prince?), diplomatic agents from other relatively unknown countries, the International Bank for Reconstruction & Development (IBRD World Bank) and the "transfer inspection officer" at my personal bank.

Money giveaways is NOT one of the alerts I signed up for at my bank's online site.

Federal fakers, too: Fake U.S. government offices and agents also are getting in on the scams.

I've gotten recent fake emails from the Federal Bureau of Investigation, the Federal Reserve Bank of New York, Vice President Mr. Mike Pence (yep, the prefix was included in the message) and acting Homeland Security head Elaine Duke. That's Ms. — I'm sorry — Gen. Duke's generous, albeit fake, offer below. You can click on her message for a larger view that will let you see all I could get.

As a tax journalist, my favorite was, of course, from U.S. Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin, or as he introduced himself in the most recent spam email, the head of the "executive agency responsible for promoting economic prosperity and ensuring the financial security of the United States."

Mnuchin now joins his predecessor Jack Lew in being used by tax identity theft crooks on scam emails they send me. At least they keep up with presidential administration changes.

$ hooks to phish for personal info: All of these imposters are promising amounts ranging from $1.5 million to $25.5 million. My mind boggles at the thought of all the presents even that smaller amount of millions could buy!

That, apparently, is what the slew of scammers are hoping I and the other spam scam targets will think.

All this fall-into-my-lap wealth will cost me, depending on the email sender, is a few dollars to release the documents.

And, oh yeah, my financial identity details. We're talking name, address, bank and/or credit or debit card account numbers, phone numbers (land, mobile and fax), age, occupation, marital status

Well, phishing identity thieves, think again.

I am not that gullible. And I'm hoping that most other Americans aren't either.

Obviously, though, some folk still fall for this crap, since it still gets shoveled out to email boxes on a daily basis.

No tax scam yet, but just wait: I've not received any tax-related phishing scams, but you can bet those crooks are gearing up for the upcoming tax season (whenever it might start).

In fact, IRS.gov's home page today features a recent Twitter post warning tax pros about the latest identity theft scheme targeting them. 

So as you get set to enjoy the holidays, make sure the only people you invite into your home and life are your friends and families. Don't let identity thieves and other financial crooks wheedle their way into your finances and festivities.

You can find tips from the IRS on how to avoid scams, as well as in these items from the ol' blog:

Beware these 13 tax ID theft scams

4 tax cyber security tips from IRS, NY tax officials

Protecting your financial & tax data from Equifax hackers

Don't fall for tax ID theft phishing scam from crooks impersonating tax software companies

5 ways to protect your identity (and money!) during National Tax Security Awareness Week (and year-round!)

Ho, Ho, Ho! Finally, a quick P.S. to those ready to send me angry email about celebrating Christmas too early. Don't.

I've heard it all before and if it works for you to go full-bore for both Thanksgiving and Christmas or whatever end-of-year holiday you celebrate, good for you.

But that doesn't work for me. The two are too close together. Canada has it right, holding Thanksgiving in early October, an actual harvest month.

So I choose between Thanksgiving and Christmas, which seems fitting since the dates of both were arbitrarily chosen. Dec. 25 was selected by the early Roman Catholic church to pull pagans and their end-of-year celebrations into the Christianity fold. Thanksgiving came to be celebrated on a national scale at the end of November first by President Abraham Lincoln as a way to seek some brief respite from the ongoing Civil War.

Since Christmas is my favorite holiday, it won the month-or-less-apart holiday battle.

I love Christmas with all its lights, decorations and music. Heck, I've even incorporated Christmas carols into tax tips! I love the ham we serve on Dec. 25 because I love pork more than turkey. Basically, I just love the December holiday season for any and all reasons. And I love it so much that I want to extend it.

Plus, I hate taking the time to put up all our decorations (and it's a lot of time since we've collected a lot of ornaments, some shown below, and the like over our three-plus decades together) and then then taking them down about a month later.

A few years ago I finally wore down convinced the hubby to decorate for Christmas in early November. Like the first weekend after Halloween.

It works for us. And I've discovered that turkey and dressing taste exactly the same with our tree up and mantel decorated.

So ho, ho, ho and happy holidays to us all regardless of which ones we celebrate and how we choose to do so!

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[christophergill8]

Beware year-end ID theft and quick cash scams

Nothing says Merry Christmas like the disembodied Santa head lights (click for a closer, clearer view) that brighten our fireplace hearth each holiday season. (Please ignore my reflected selfie!) And yes, this and other Christmas decorations are already, before Thanksgiving, up at our house! Ho, Ho, Ho!

I know we've yet to celebrate Thanksgiving, but I can tell that Christmas is near, too.

How?

Well, in addition to having already decorated our house (interior only so far for us, but Santa displays already adorn some of our neighbors' front yards) for Santa's annual arrival, I'm getting the usual year-end flood of spam phishing scams promising me money just in time for the gift buying season.

So far, I've been contacted by the presidents of Benin and Nigeria (is this a step up from the old prince?), diplomatic agents from other relatively unknown countries, the International Bank for Reconstruction & Development (IBRD World Bank) and the "transfer inspection officer" at my personal bank.

Money giveaways is NOT one of the alerts I signed up for at my bank's online site.

Federal fakers, too: Fake U.S. government offices and agents also are getting in on the scams.

I've gotten recent fake emails from the Federal Bureau of Investigation, the Federal Reserve Bank of New York, Vice President Mr. Mike Pence (yep, the prefix was included in the message) and acting Homeland Security head Elaine Duke. That's Ms. — I'm sorry — Gen. Duke's generous, albeit fake, offer below. You can click on her message for a larger view that will let you see all I could get.

As a tax journalist, my favorite was, of course, from U.S. Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin, or as he introduced himself in the most recent spam email, the head of the "executive agency responsible for promoting economic prosperity and ensuring the financial security of the United States."

Mnuchin now joins his predecessor Jack Lew in being used by tax identity theft crooks on scam emails they send me. At least they keep up with presidential administration changes.

$ hooks to phish for personal info: All of these imposters are promising amounts ranging from $1.5 million to $25.5 million. My mind boggles at the thought of all the presents even that smaller amount of millions could buy!

That, apparently, is what the slew of scammers are hoping I and the other spam scam targets will think.

All this fall-into-my-lap wealth will cost me, depending on the email sender, is a few dollars to release the documents.

And, oh yeah, my financial identity details. We're talking name, address, bank and/or credit or debit card account numbers, phone numbers (land, mobile and fax), age, occupation, marital status

Well, phishing identity thieves, think again.

I am not that gullible. And I'm hoping that most other Americans aren't either.

Obviously, though, some folk still fall for this crap, since it still gets shoveled out to email boxes on a daily basis.

No tax scam yet, but just wait: I've not received any tax-related phishing scams, but you can bet those crooks are gearing up for the upcoming tax season (whenever it might start).

In fact, IRS.gov's home page today features a recent Twitter post warning tax pros about the latest identity theft scheme targeting them. 

So as you get set to enjoy the holidays, make sure the only people you invite into your home and life are your friends and families. Don't let identity thieves and other financial crooks wheedle their way into your finances and festivities.

You can find tips from the IRS on how to avoid scams, as well as in these items from the ol' blog:

Beware these 13 tax ID theft scams

4 tax cyber security tips from IRS, NY tax officials

Protecting your financial & tax data from Equifax hackers

Don't fall for tax ID theft phishing scam from crooks impersonating tax software companies

5 ways to protect your identity (and money!) during National Tax Security Awareness Week (and year-round!)

Ho, Ho, Ho! Finally, a quick P.S. to those ready to send me angry email about celebrating Christmas too early. Don't.

I've heard it all before and if it works for you to go full-bore for both Thanksgiving and Christmas or whatever end-of-year holiday you celebrate, good for you.

But that doesn't work for me. The two are too close together. Canada has it right, holding Thanksgiving in early October, an actual harvest month.

So I choose between Thanksgiving and Christmas, the dates of both were arbitrarily chosen (Dec. 25 by the early Roman Catholic church to pull pagans and their end-of-year celebrations into the Christianity fold and on a national scale at the end of November  first by President Abraham Lincoln as a way to seek some brief respite from the ongoing Civil War).

Since Christmas is my favorite holiday, it won the month-or-less-apart holiday battle.

I love the lights, the decorations, the music. I love the ham we serve because I love pork more than turkey. I just love the December holiday season for any and all reasons. And I love it so much that I want to extend it.

Plus, I hate taking the time to put up all our decorations (and it's a lot of time since we've collected a lot of ornaments, some shown below, and the like over our three-plus decades together) and then then taking them down about a month later.

A few years ago I finally wore down convinced the hubby to decorate for Christmas in early November. Like the first weekend after Halloween.

It works for us. And I've discovered that turkey and dressing taste exactly the same with our tree up and mantel decorated.

So ho, ho, ho and happy holidays to us all regardless of which ones we celebrate and how we choose to do so!

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from Tax News By Christopher http://www.dontmesswithtaxes.com/2017/11/beware-year-end-tax-and-quick-cash-scams-1.html

[itsworn]

Hot Rod Momma Still Has Her 1967 Chevrolet Camaro SS Convertible From High School

Most of the guys who bought muscle cars back in the day were, well, guys. So when we met Janet Fisher and found out that not only has she owned this beautiful RS/SS Camaro since the day it was delivered but also had special-ordered it four months after high school graduation, we knew there was a great story about a great car there. It began back in mid-1966, when 17-year-old Janet Nicholas, already a licensed beautician, was saving money for a new car. She used the city bus to get to her job and could only borrow her dad’s 1955 Chevy when he wasn’t using it. She also lived in York, Pennsylvania, which had a hot street scene.

“At that point, I was considering buying a Pontiac GTO,” she recalls now, “but my father kept telling me that Chevrolet was bringing out a new model and I should wait and see what it was. Dad really didn’t want his ‘little girl’ to have all the horsepower of the GTO. In the fall of 1966, Chevy revealed the Camaro, and my dad urged me to get a Camaro Super Sport.”

The Camaro, brought out to compete with the popular Ford Mustang, was one of several new compact sports cars created or remodeled for 1967. It quickly took a very forward market share due to GM’s marketing and optional equipment. The new F-Body platform was shared with Pontiac’s Firebird, but the SS and RS packages created a unique packaging arrangement that no other car in that class, save perhaps Mercury’s Cougar, offered. Janet read through the paperwork and headed over to the Ammon R. Smith Chevrolet dealership where Vern Smith Jr., son of the owner, helped her pick out the options.

“My decision was based on certain options I had to have,” she tells us with a laugh. “The Super Sport model that my dad encouraged, convertible, hideaway headlights, the bumblebee stripe around the front end, chrome hood louvers, and I wanted it in Marina Blue with a white interior.”

She did some calculations based on that equipment and knew she was making enough money to manage the monthly payments. Her father was not thrilled to find out that the smallest engine in the SS was a 295hp 350, but since he had been the one pushing for the SS, he gave in and cosigned. The order went to Chevrolet in October.

How popular was Camaro that fall? Vern told Janet it would take a couple of months to get the car in; it actually took five. In January she called the dealership to see if there was anything comparable she could buy right then. Vern told her no and said to be patient. Her 18th birthday came and went. On a Saturday evening in early March, he called her and said the car had just arrived in the latest rail shipment and would be in the receiving yard until it was transported to the dealership. Plus, they needed it for a couple of days to prep before delivery. Janet and her best friend, Barb Kauffman-Garber, knew the car could probably be seen in the railyard lot, visible just off the northbound lane of Interstate 83, so off they went.

Janet says, “I slowed down as much as I safely could as we approached the lot and, oh my God, there in the front row was my car! Barb and I screamed like silly little girls.” She took other friends to see it the same way that night, then drove by the rail lot eight times on her day off, Monday, to see if the car had moved yet. Finally it was moved to Smith’s dealership to get ready, and on March 8, 1967, Janet was the owner of a new 1967 Camaro.

She had ordered the four-speed even though she had little experience with manual shifting. That meant a Muncie and a 3.55 Positraction 12-bolt rear came in it. She chose the manual brakes and steering, which were somewhat unfamiliar options back then, but borrowing the old ’55 had given Janet a lot of experience with nonpower accessories. Her choices of color and exterior options, and a deluxe White Parchment interior and power top, make this RS/SS droptop truly exquisite in terms of appearance. Plus, the 350 was strong enough in stock form for daily duty that it never got trashed. Still, cruising was a big pastime in the area, and many a summer night was spent roaming the evening boulevards with like-minded drivers.

Now, many of these stories have a somewhat sad ending. A busy career, marriage, children, and other factors usually cause cars as small and impractical as a Camaro convertible to go to a new home and simply disappear. Not for Janet. Around York she became known as the Hot Rod Momma, with child car seats in the back. Later still, her children learned how to drive stick in the car, and her son was privileged to cruise to his final day of high school in it. The years were showing on it by then, though. The top needed to be replaced, the engine was tired, and the interior reflected all that family activity. Getting the car restored became sort of a bucket list item, and in 2002 the process began.

“My husband Jim helped make my dream come true,” says Janet. “He pulled the engine and transmission to get them rebuilt. I loved receiving car parts as Christmas and birthday gifts.”

Jim did a lot of the mechanical work himself, after farming out the engine’s machine work and assembly to Bill Mundis. In 2013 the car went to painter Ron Glisan. A new carpet, interior, and top went on it thanks to D&M Auto Upholstery. Then came the final details, and the car came out looking pretty much the way it did the day she took delivery. A few minor items, like the SS350 steering wheel center, still show all that history.

While we were in town for the annual York Nostalgia Cruising Into Summer event, Janet and Jim drove it to Jeff Myers’ private garage display, where we took our images, a fitting location for any muscle car. This is not a trailer queen and gets some road time attending local car events.

Janet tells us that after the car won a few trophies, her longtime friend Barb posted on Facebook, “Did you ever think that the car we raced ‘on the circuit’ would still be here today and winning beauty contests?” This was posted after 17 regional awards, including a Best of Show that was awarded by Linda Vaughn at York in 2016.

Janet says, “Yes, it is hard to believe that I have had this car for 50 years, but today when I get behind the wheel and head out the driveway, I am 18 again!”

At a Glance

1967 Camaro RS/SS Convertible Owned by: Janet Nicholas Fisher Restored by: Jim and Janet Fisher; Bill Mundis; Ron Glisan; D&M Auto Upholstery Engine: 350ci/295hp V-8 Transmission: Muncie 4-speed manual Rearend: 12-bolt with 3.55 gears and Positraction Interior: Deluxe White Parchment bucket seat Wheels: 14×6 steel with fullsize hubcaps Tires: 14-inch redline radials Special parts: RS trim package, SS performance option

This is the view some people had when Janet Nicholas Fisher was cruising back in the day, though passing a gas station was never as easy! Jeff Myers owns the vintage display and let us shoot our photos there.

The 295hp 350 Turbo Fire powerplant was the standard engine when ordering the SS equipment package. Not as radical as the old L79 327 but more than enough for Janet and her friends to enjoy the weekend scene.

Janet had originally considered a GTO, but her dad told her wait and see what Chevrolet was bringing out in the fall of 1966, then encouraged her to get the Camaro SS. He didn’t want his daughter in a muscle car, but he didn’t know that the SS would be the standard engine.

The selection of the white top and interior coupled with Marina Blue paint made the final result stunning. The material was marketed as Chevrolet’s White Parchment and was part of the RS upgrades.

Janet’s decision to get the four-speed transmission was based on its notoriety, not her skill with a stick shift. Her experience with manual transmissions had come only from borrowing her father’s “run-around car,” a 1955 Chevy.

The car is not a trailer queen, getting driven to local events and shows, with the top down on sunny days. Riding shotgun with Janet is her husband Jim, who directed the restoration to is finish.

Janet Nicholas Fisher photo

Janet Nicholas Fisher was 17 when she ordered this Camaro. She turned 18 before it was delivered five months later, and says that having it restored makes her feel like she is 18 again.

The post Hot Rod Momma Still Has Her 1967 Chevrolet Camaro SS Convertible From High School appeared first on Hot Rod Network.

from Hot Rod Network http://www.hotrod.com/articles/hot-rod-momma-still-1967-chevrolet-camaro-ss-convertible-high-school/ via IFTTT

[sarahburness]

How a 10-Day Silent Retreat Helped Heal My Grieving Heart

“In a retreat situation, you are forced to come face to face with yourself, to see yourself in depth, to meet yourself.” ~Lama Zopa Rinpoche

When I was at university, doing a ten-day silent Vipassana meditation retreat was considered a hardcore rite of passage only the toughest among us attempted. Those who lasted the distance referred to it as a “mind-blowing” and “life-changing” experience.

“Think of how you feel after an orgasm,” a friend said when I considered finally doing a Vipassana mediation retreat to reconnect with myself after a decade in full time employment. “Imagine feeling for two months like you’ve just had the most powerful orgasm.”

I couldn’t. I really couldn’t imagine how ten days of enforced intimacy with my own messy mind would result in two months of post-coital bliss. Nor could I imagine sitting still and keeping silent for ten days. Nor was I prepared to sacrifice half of my annual leave to find out.

What finally got me to commit to the meditation cushion for a ten-day marathon of silence was a shattered heart. I needed a radical act of self-care.

I had just spent two long years caring for my terminally ill husband. His funeral was followed three weeks later by the largest cyclone in Australia’s living memory. It made landfall within meters of my veranda, destroying an entire community. In the confusion that followed, I found things out about my husband that would have been best buried with him.

I was shell-shocked, as if a bomb had detonated inside me and ripped my heart to shreds. A psychologist suggested happy pills. But I wasn’t interested in medicated happiness. I didn’t even want the post-coital bliss my friend had spoken of.

I just wanted to feel whole again. The psychologist advised against a ten-day silent meditation retreat. It was too dangerous, she said. There wouldn’t be anybody there to catch me should I crash hard.

But I knew that only I could pull myself up from the abyss. Avoiding my grief was not an option. I needed to confront my pain head on.

Two months after my bereavement, I took myself off to an austere meditation center in Sri Lanka to follow the teachings of S. N. Goenka.

Here is what I learned:

Impermanence is the foundation of everything.

When I showed up at my first ten-day silent meditation retreat, I had just witnessed the impermanence of everything, and it had left me devastated.

Sitting in meditation for ten hours a day, continuously scanning my body, becoming aware of the rising and falling of my physical discomfort, I learned to accept that everything in life is constantly changing.

In the afternoons, when the meditation hall turned into a sun-drenched hothouse, the physical discomfort of sitting still became almost unbearable. Resisting the urge to shift my legs or scratch my sweaty head taught me to become a detached observer.

Every day a cool evening breeze would follow the intense afternoon heat. The tickling of my scalp, the tingling in my legs, the stiffness in my hips, all of it fell away as day turned into night and I stretched out on my rock hard mattress.

By observing what was happening to my physical body, I learned to trust that emotional discomfort and pain rises and falls in the same way as physical pain does.

Meditation teaches you how to become a detached observer.

I learned to focus on my breath, to feel it rising and falling. I practiced watching my mind fill with dark clouds, like a lake with storm clouds reflected on it. I glimpsed brief moments of clarity as I allowed the clouds to drift by. I learned to label my emotions and set them free rather than stay attached to the pain.

I learned to train my mind to be in control of those dark storm clouds that kept on brewing. They didn’t magically disappear as I sat in meditation ten hours each day. But I learned not to chase after them and become swept up in every little tempest that flared up.

I learned to simply watch what was going on in my mind. It felt like watching a giant movie screen from the back row of a cinema.

Meditation teaches us that we can control our emotional pain. By focusing on the breath, we are able to step back, assume the position of a witness, so that it doesn’t overwhelm us.

It’s a lesson I’ve taken with me into everyday life. When a friend says something hurtful or when someone cuts me off in traffic, I know how not to be reactive.

Meditation gives you a new perspective on who you are.

As I sat and listened to the constant chatter in my head for ten days, I realized that our identities are a product of the stories we tell ourselves.

Old stories from the past showed up. The tortured narrative of my dysfunctional family suddenly made sense. My parents had remained attached to the narrative of their suffering as deprived war children. Unable to craft new stories for themselves, this victim narrative defined them in adulthood.

Sifting through the details of the aftermath of my husband’s death, trying to make sense of his unfaithfulness, I understood that I had been given the tools to rewrite that story.

I couldn’t undo what had happened. I’d never be able to have another conversation with him to set the record straight. I couldn’t give our story a happy ending. But I had the tools to use what I had learned to craft a new narrative for myself.

One stifling hot afternoon, focusing on the beads of sweat forming on my forehead, my focus became laser sharp.  I understood that if I didn’t want to live my life by the victim narrative, if I wanted to be in charge of myself again, if I didn’t want to turn into a bitter woman with a prematurely aged face, I needed to forgive those who had compounded my suffering.

Writing to the women whom I had considered my worst enemies was profoundly liberating, both for me and them. We were able to make peace with ourselves and with my philandering husband.

Suffering is an inevitable part of life.

All of life is suffering. It’s one of the key principles of Buddhism. Human nature is imperfect as is the world we live in. The Pali word Dukkha means suffering, discontent, unsatisfactoriness. We all experience varying degrees of suffering all the time.

Some of us had come to the retreat feeling stuck in life, stressed by our jobs, frustrated in our relationships, directionless and ready for some kind of transformation. I wasn’t the only who had brought a deep feeling of grief to the retreat.

I was the only one who had lost a loved one, but grief has many faces. Some of us were grieving collapsed marriages or failed relationships. It made me aware that we will all experience deep sadness in our lives, not once, but many times. It made sense to learn how to deal with it.

Life had just dealt me an overdose of suffering as if to hammer home this important point. Sitting with my physical and emotional pain for ten seemingly interminable days forced me to make friends with it.

I was able to put it into a new perspective. I hadn’t died, I hadn’t lost a limb, I had no permanent battle scars. My adopted hometown would recover, the ravaged landscape would heal, and so would I.

I realized that being able to hold my husband in death, to comfort him on the journey through his terminal illness, had been a chance for deep transformation. I understood that we are in charge of how we respond to suffering.

Suffering arises from attachment.

Burying my husband and sorting through the debris after a category five cyclone had shredded my hometown to bits, I had glimpsed how suffering is linked to attachment. Sitting on my meditation cushion for ten days, I grasped the core of the Second Noble Truth that all suffering arises from attachment.

We are all driven by our desires and cravings. Our unhappiness is a result of our tendency to cling to or grasp at what is unattainable. We become attached to material things; we want to hold onto happiness; we chase after pleasure and we are in denial about the impermanence of everything.

As expected, I didn’t explode in multiple orgasms, nor did I crash into the bottom of the abyss, both of which would have been a form of attachment.

On the last day of the retreat, when we were at last released from our vow of silence, everybody was experiencing some kind of high. Something fundamental had shifted for all of us.

Endless chatter quickly replaced our noble silence. Having sat side by side, experiencing the full rainbow of emotions, we were keen to share our experiences.

A small group gathered around a self-confessed retreat junkie, who glowed like a 3D postcard version of the Buddha, sitting in full lotus pose for most of the retreat. He had made it his life’s purpose, he explained, to go from retreat to retreat so that he could stay permanently within that blissed out sate.

I was tempted to quote one of our teachers that it’s just as dangerous to get attached to bliss as it is to get attached to pain and suffering. The aim of meditation is to let go of any form of attachment. But I bit my tongue, because I knew that he would need to find that out for himself.

Meditation is a personal self-care tool we all have access to.

Of course the ten-day meditation retreat didn’t magically cure my pain. It took many more weeks, months in fact, on the meditation cushion to heal my heart. But with every retreat I was inching a little further away from the abyss.

Six years on, I have found love again. My house has been repaired and my garden has grown back into a lush jungle. Life continues to ebb and flow, oscillating between moments of happiness and suffering.

You don’t have to be at your personal rock bottom to experience the life-changing benefits of a silent meditation retreat. What I learned has stayed with me. Meditation remains my personal self-care tool that allows me to negotiate the inevitable ups and downs of life, from the trivial to the tough stuff.

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About Kerstin Pilz

Kerstin Pilz Phd, is a former academic with twenty years University teaching experience, a 200 RYT accredited yoga teacher, writer, and enthusiastic photographer. She’s based in Vietnam and offers journeys of creative self-discovery, online & on retreat. Read here about her upcoming retreat in Bali, check out her blog at writeyourjourney.com, or connect with her on Facebook and Instagram.

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The post How a 10-Day Silent Retreat Helped Heal My Grieving Heart appeared first on Tiny Buddha.

from Tiny Buddha https://tinybuddha.com/blog/10-day-silent-retreat-heal-grieving-heart/