#and yes I know most shows go on hiatus during winter

[theresivy]

My Christmas Wishlist

[itsclydebitches]

RWBY Recaps: Volume 8 “Ultimatum”

Welcome back, everyone! We had an unexpected break last week due to the horror going on in Texas. I'm glad we did. Not because of any salty "RWBY is bad right now yay free Saturday" feelings, but because keeping to a schedule for a fictional webseries should never take precedence over peoples' safety. I can't believe I need to type that sentence out, but it's true! Over the last seven days I've seen fans who are not merely disappointed by the mini hiatus (understandable) but outright hostile towards the crew because they... were ensuring everyone survived during an unprecedented emergency? Yeah. Given the highly critical nature of these recaps — including today's! — I want to be clear that my thoughts towards Rooster Teeth's creative choices are distinct from any thoughts about the crew itself, including the most basic forms of compassion like, “I sure hope everyone is okay over there.” In an age where it has become horrifically common to harass creators and even send them death threats over stories, it has likewise become necessary to remind people: Don't do that shit. Never do that shit. If I can teach anyone anything at all, let it be that!

Anyway, dark fandom reminders out of the way, let's dive straight into our delayed episode. It was certainly a doozy. Titled "Ultimatum," we open on a trigger warning for flashing lights. Good on Rooster Teeth for including that, though I do wonder if creators shouldn't be including time stamps as well? Or perhaps a note that you can find those time stamps in the credits, avoiding any (minor) spoilers for everyone else? I'm not photosensitive myself, so I certainly don't mean to speak for that group, but my first thought was, "So how would I watch this episode if I was? Hand on the pause button, hoping I stop fast enough as soon as the lights start?" Hard to do given the surprise nature of the scene. Really, my answer would be, "Wait for the fandom to post warnings of their own, likely including where it happens so I know when to skip" which is perhaps an indication that this information that should be included from the get-go.

But I am glad the warning exists, regardless. The episode itself begins with a shot of Ironwood looking down at the kingdom. He's used his windows as a vantage point since Volume 7, so that's nothing new, but something about this particular shot reminded me of Ozpin, looking down from his tower. I'm sure the response from many would be simply, "Ah yes, the two power hungry dictators watching over their victims," but I think there's a much more nuanced reading here about leaders being expected to fix the literally unfixable and what that responsibility does to an individual. Of course, it's a nuance that is absolutely obliterated by the episode’s end, but the implication existed for a hot second!

Two other soldiers are in the room with Ironwood, reporting that Cinder has helped Watts escape. They try to soften this with news that they still have Jacques in custody, but receive only a, "I don't give a damn about Jacques Schnee." Which, fair. He's pretty useless at this point. It's when Ironwood learns that both Qrow and Robin escaped too that he really gets mad, something his subordinates have been expecting given their scared expressions.

Now, I'm treading lightly here because I realize how this is going to sound given the end of our episode, but I still want to note that outside of that ending... this is a weird take? Just hear me out. Since Volume 7 the show has worked very hard to make Ironwood seem scary and unstable — bad setup for what we end with today — but the problem is that none of it works in context and it certainly doesn't work when compared to other characters' actions. They are literally in the midst of an unwinnable battle and thousands of his people are dying. If the audience wants a human being — who also just lost a limb and was betrayed by half his allies — o remain perfectly poised and polite during that, sorry, but that's not how human beings work. But even beyond this, what’s the message here? Ironwood raises his voice, so does Yang. Ironwood hits his desk, Qrow hits a child. If we're going to examine how Ironwood handles his stress and anger, he often handles it better than many of our heroes. Namely, by continually taking that anger out on inanimate objects. I kept waiting for him to attack his subordinates or attack Winter this episode, especially given where we end up, but it never came. Ironwood always has enough control to break the desk or punch the wall, not the person in front of him. Which, of course, would not be a good thing in the real world. I want to be clear given these sensitive subjects that if someone is breaking things in your presence that's a major problem to address. But this isn't the real world. This is a fantasy world in the middle of a war, populated by other characters who express their anger by punching people, slamming them into walls, or screaming at them until they run away. The story wants us to fear Ironwood long before he makes his objectively horrific choices and it tries to achieve that by showing us characters who are clearly terrified in his presence, by giving us a string of broken objects in his wake. But those details don't land well when we compare them to other instances of stress. In the same volume I have watched Ironwood take a deep breath to calm himself down when things have gone horribly wrong. I've also watched Weiss start a conversation by threatening her defenseless brother. So again, what’s the message here? It can’t be that acting violently towards someone = villainous behavior because, as established since Volume 6, that’s common for the heroes. Why are these subordinates terrified about Ironwood slamming his fist on a table, but Whitley has no problem hugging the woman who threatened him? Obviously there is a HUGE difference between our main group and Ironwood when it comes to other actions (cough-bomb threats-cough), but these day-to-day moments don't match up. The show wants to use violence as a way for us to easily identify the Bad Guy while ignoring all the times when our heroes do the same thing. 

All of which isn't meant to be a defense of Ironwood. As we'll see in a bit, there is no defense for what he's done. Rather, it's a way of acknowledging just how badly he's been written. Why does a man who consistently reins in his anger and takes it out on objects suddenly shoot a councilman for literally no reason? Why does a man defined by wanting to save as many people as he can suddenly threaten to bomb his city? Ironwood's characterization is all over the place, in the sense that they keep writing him as the morally gray, sometimes harsh, but ultimately compassionate man he started out as... up until they need a villain. Salem isn't here yet, so Ironwood can shoot Oscar. Salem isn't attacking yet, so Ironwood can shoot the councilman. Salem is currently reforming, so Ironwood can threaten YJR and Mantle. He's the B-plot villain whenever Salem is out of commission, which is a problem for both their characterizations. This filler doesn't make sense for Ironwood and it severely undermines the threat of Salem. You finally introduce the Magical Big Bad and our heroes are facing more of a threat from a guy with a broken army and three loyal allies left? Hmmm.

The tl;dr is that Ironwood's arc is a disaster and, frankly, it's gotten old reading simplified takes of, "It's just a realistic look at what white U.S. men will do in power sweetie :) " RWBY does not have the context capable of conveying that sort of critical take because our world is not besieged by literal monsters and an immortal witch, to say nothing of how real life good guys do not get deus ex machina canes that fix the problem instantaneously. Ironwood is not an example of anti-U.S. imperialism, he's an example of writers who don't know how to write.

Anyway, I'm getting severely off topic. Obviously Ironwood is a major part of this episode, but the problems demonstrated here are two years in the making. This is the culmination of things I've been discussing for months across hundreds of posts... so I should probably stop trying to summarize it all in a few paragraphs lol. Perhaps when RWBY is over — or Ironwood has died — I'll do a single meta on his character, try to pull everything into one, unified argument.

For now though, we have an episode to analyze.

While Ironwood is receiving this news we get flashbacks to Qrow and Robyn. Qrow attacks a soldier in his bird form, which is hilarious. Someone GIF that please. It does raise some interesting questions about this magic though: does Qrow retain his aura and strength in this form (something I thought given his choice to transform during the explosion), or was that soldier just so shocked at being attacked by a crow that he went down easy? We'll never know, because that would require establishing concrete rules for this world. The point is Qrow is going feral in his freedom, throwing punches left and right — did he kill that guard? — while Robyn watches it all from under a rock. They're apparently still somewhere in the facility since all the exits are guarded, but that's not the good thing Ironwood seems to think it is. After all, Qrow is out to murder him. He wants to be there.

We all see where this is going, right? The show is going to ignore Qrow's crazy belief that Ironwood got Clover killed in favor of a "Qrow saved Mantle by murdering Ironwood"/“Qrow got revenge for Mantle by murdering Ironwood” ending. Who cares why Qrow wanted to kill him in the first place now that Ironwood has his finger on the trigger? If RWBY is good at anything, it's writing moments that encourage you to ignore everything that came before it. We'll be seeing more of that in just a bit.

"Damn it!" Ironwood yells, because the show is leaning into its cursing. He orders that the subordinates not return until "you have Qrow Branwen in custody." Here we have another great example of the show conflating what the audience knows with what other characters know. See, we know Qrow has a vendetta against Ironwood. We know their relationship is the important one to the story and that Robyn is incidental. Ironwood doesn't know that. There's no reason for him, as a character, to specify that they only bring Qrow back, but it makes sense for the audience who has the whole, thematic picture. Our understanding of the situation is influencing Ironwood's dialogue, which is... not great.

This entire scene we've had creepy music to hammer home just how evil Ironwood is. Except, as said, he takes a breath to calm down and the music fades. Instead of flying into a rage, hurting someone, or doing anything the music suggests he might, Ironwood calmly calls in for an update — which is when the explosion hits.

It's MASSIVE, seeming to originate from a lightning strike, which is weird, since it's coming from inside the whale, but whatever. The animation is very dramatic and pretty, as we've come to expect of RWBY, but the actual plot is lackluster at best. It's funny though because I thought for a hot second, when Winter and the Ace Ops were caught in the blast, that RWBY had actually done something exciting. I mean, holy shit! There are the deaths we expect from a battle like this. My god, what is everyone going to do when they realize that Oscar's needless attack took out five characters, including Weiss' sister —

No wait, never mind. They're fine.

Let's talk about that "needless" descriptor for a moment though. Do you all remember, two weeks ago, when I went, "Hey, why isn't anyone telling Oscar that that Ace Ops are approaching with a bomb? They're on a time limit! If someone would just mention that Very Important Information then Oscar wouldn't keep standing around to fight Salem." See, at the time I was frustrated because of how the plot was needlessly allowing Oscar to put himself in danger (especially when the whole point of this mission was to rescue him). Now, I'm frustrated because that same plot needlessly wasted the most powerful weapon the group had. There was no reason for Oscar to use literal lifetimes worth of stored energy when the heroes already had a bomb to do the same job! What was the point of that? I guess he took out the other grimm too, but without the whale that still would have been a challenge with a finite end, one Ironwood's army and the remaining huntsmen should have been able to handle. It doesn't feel justified to have Oscar use a weapon kept on the bench for lifetimes when there was another option literally minutes away.

There's so much wrong with this I need another list. So:

Ozpin's cane supposedly stores kinetic energy, which may contradict what we've seen from it before. Regardless, we’ve never heard about this. The all powerful weapon comes out of nowhere

It also begs the question of why Ozpin wouldn't use that power at Beacon and why he wouldn't insist that they try to get their cane back while captured. You had an out this whole time! But we’re going to ignore that because Oscar is a little hesitant? 

Which makes YJR's presence even more useless than it originally was, which was already pretty useless. Oscar essentially rescued himself

This kinetic energy miraculously doesn't hurt any people or buildings, just grimm

So what is the point of Silver Eyes? That's been their MO since they were first introduced. Sure, Silver Eyes can be used far more often than Ozpin's cane, but it still feels like a let down to learn that the Big Secret behind this weapon is... the exact same thing Ruby has been doing for years

Like Ruby, Oscar likewise didn't need any practice or training. He just set off this massive attack perfectly and without issue

We have now eliminated the biggest threat to the cast instantaneously — the whale and the other grimm — with no effort from the rest of the heroes. Like the Hound, the stakes are obliterated with no satisfying work on the part of our protagonists 

Instead, as said, the actual plan already in place never happened. The bomb just... goes back. Kind of like how Cinder attacked and then just went back to Salem. Penny woke up and then just got knocked out again. We continue to go in circles 

This is because no one took two seconds to tell Oscar, "There's a bomb on the way"

Because this threat is gone the show needs a new one, hence Ironwood randomly threatening Mantle with said bomb

The one way we might have justified Oscar blowing up the whale instead of Winter is if he did it to save Hazel, but Hazel is implied to be dead

Maybe he's alive, but if he's not that happened off screen and we're not sure how. It couldn't have been because of the blast itself — everyone else is fine — so what, Salem somehow killed him before she was blasted to bits? While he was holding her? 

And there's no body?

Salem was torn apart multiple times during that fight and reformed instantaneously, yet now, conveniently, she's taking her time

None of the characters mention the issues above. None of them admit that there was no reason for Oscar to waste LIFETIMES worth of power when they already had a solution in the works. Fantastic

I need to take a moment to acknowledge that so far this recap feels... bad. Disjointed. Bit all over the place. Which makes a certain amount of sense because that's where my thoughts are at. There's so much going on in this episode — so much wrong with it — that I don't know how to boil it all down into a few, neat claims. This episode is a mess! We're barely a few minutes in and the combined issues of Ironwood's characterization and Oscar's choice have left me reeling. So if you're still reading this, bless your patience, I think we'll both need it for the rest of this journey.

Let's snag a neater plot-point to discuss. Amidst all the chaos Neo literally skips away with the Lamp, clearly thrilled at how her own life is going. Later in the episode she'll text Cinder with the obvious: Salem is going to be pretty pissed when she realizes this is gone. “If you want her name you know what you owe me." 

So wait... what is Neo leveraging here? Is she agreeing to give the Lamp back so Cinder doesn't get in trouble with Salem? Give Salem the password she's been looking for? Or give Cinder the password to use the Lamp for herself? What would Cinder even want the Lamp for when she's after the Maiden powers? I'm confused about what Cinder is being blackmailed with. Regardless, she needs the lamp for something and presumably what she "owes" Neo is Ruby. We get a cut to her just to hammer that home.

(Side note: both pictures of Neo are hilarious.) 

Before that though, back at the whale, everyone is taking stock of the situation when Marrow cries, "Hey, they were still in there!" I feel like this is another scene meant to make him look like the one good guy in the group — he cares about YJOR while the others can’t be bothered — but as always, that reading doesn't fit well with the situation as a whole. The others have barely had time to realize they're alive. I don't think it's a moral failing that they didn't instinctually worry about four betrayers, one of whom attacked them, while they're still checking that they have all their limbs intact. Besides, why does Marrow assume they're dead? The Ace Ops were caught in the blast as well, yet miraculously came out unharmed. They clearly didn't set their own bomb off, so it's logical to assume that YJOR did something themselves. It feels weird to have a "Marrow mourns them and Winter is the only other character who cares" moment when everyone is recovering from bomb shock and no one even knows if the others are dead. But, of course, the show is out to portray only two of these characters as good people, so ignore the logic and run with the emotion of the scene.

All of which is bolstered by Elm pulling away when Vine puts a hand on her shoulder. Why is she acting cold towards him now? Because they're not friends, remember?

While we get more ridiculous relationship dynamics, Ironwood calls in and congratulates them on the bomb working, but tells them to get back because they have another problem in the works. That would be Qrow and Robyn. Winter decides to tell him about the bomb in person.

We cut to Watts and Cinder watching the remnants of the blast from a rooftop. Cinder has tried calling, but no one answered. Unsurprising, given that Salem doesn't have any other allies left. Cinder says that the plan hasn't changed, she's still going to take the Winter Maiden's power for herself, and Watts can help her by bringing Penny here. He explains that he doesn't have full control over her. Rather, he implemented a virus that is setting her on a single path: open the vault, then self-destruct. Cinder, as one might expect, is furious.

She snags Watts by her grimm arm and threatens to toss him over the side of the building. Thus begins the best part of the episode, hands down. Despite the danger he's in, Watts throws common sense out the window in favor of dragging Cinder in the most satisfying manner possible. 

“You think you’re entitled to everything just because you suffered, but suffering isn’t enough. You can’t just be strong, you have to be smart. You can’t just be deserving, you have to be worthy! But all you have ever been is a bloody migraine!”

It's true! You know what else is true? This speech could apply to our heroes as well. Accusations of entitlement and reminders to be smart as opposed to just strong hit hard, considering those are the same flaws our protagonists are struggling with. The difference is that Cinder, miraculously, listens, pulling Watts back to safety and going to cry by herself. That moment is simultaneously more growth than Ruby has gotten and more sympathy than Ironwood has gotten. The woman who murdered Pyrrha is treated more kindly by the narrative than one of our initial heroes and our very first villain has taken more time to reconsider her choices than our title character. You know a show is falling apart when excellent choices are applied to the worst possible character.

So Cinder is crying while Watts looks guilty and we cut back to YJOR's group post-blast. Yang is finally able to answer a call from Blake who is obviously overjoyed to see her. Weiss gives them directions to the mansion and they ask what in the world they'll do with Emerald, currently on her knees, mourning Hazel.

Thus begins the third most frustrating part of this episode. See, on the way back the group continues the conversation about what to do with Emerald, with Yang and Jaune distrusting her vs. Ren and Oscar encouraging cooperation. I can't believe I'm saying this after's Ren's speech and Oscar's entire existence... but I'm team Jaune and Yang here. Look, what Oscar and Ren say — the literal words coming out of their mouth — is nonsense. Ren goes, “We can’t let all of our actions stem from fear," as if Yang and Jaune are being ridiculous for mistrusting Emerald, one of the established villains, after years worth of harm from her. It’s weird that Yang points to her arm as something Emerald is responsible for, rather than being framed or the deaths at Beacon, but the general sentiment of, “She’s done horrible things!” is true. Ren’s perspective is the same simplification that was applied to Ironwood last volume, wherein everyone acted as if he was crazy for fearing an attack on his kingdom... post an attack on another kingdom and pre an attack on his kingdom. Putting generic lines in Ren's mouth about not being afraid makes him sound willfully ignorant, as if choosing to believe that someone is good will magically make them so, to say nothing of thinking it will erase all the harm they've already done.

Oscar at least acknowledges the difficulty here, but then follows this up with, “You don’t have to forgive her… just give her a second chance."

Oscar, honey, that amounts to the same thing in this situation. Allowing Emerald a second chance means working with her, which means trust, which means emotionally reaching a point where these characters can put aside the harm she's done them in an effort to give her that chance in the first place. This actually ties into a post I saw last night, one I've come across before, that claims redemption arcs don't require any suffering on the part of the person who has done wrong. I agree in theory, that prolonged suffering doesn't help anyone, but the problem is that people tend to conflate suffering with consequences and someone who has done this level of harm should face consequences for their actions. The problem with redemption arcs is not that the bad people suffer too much —  emotionally and physically beating on them as a form of revenge  — but that the people they've harmed are put into situations like this one. If Yang and Jaune let Emerald go like she suggests, they are agreeing that she doesn't have to face any consequences for the damage she's done (which, keep in mind, involves multiple deaths, not including all the lost lives here in Atlas). If they agree to give her a second chance, they are forced to jump straight to some level of forgiveness. We might claim they don't have to forgive Emerald to work with her, but from a practical perspective how are they meant to function, especially during a warzone? Anything she provides them with — information, watching their back in a fight, undertaking missions, etc.  — requires trusting her enough to allow those things to happen: working with that info, letting her protect them, allowing her that responsibility. It's all about trust, trust she has yet to earn. In order for a redemption arc to be successful, the power has to be in the hands of the victims. They need to be able to see some justice for what was done to them, be offered some proof that the person in question has truly changed, and have the ability to walk away if they decide no, I don't forgive you, glad to hear you've improved, but please stay out of my life. Jaune and Yang have none of that. There are currently no systems in place for Emerald to face consequences for her choices, she has offered them no proof of her remorse or true motivations, and the other half of the group is pressuring them to give her that second chance without closure or reassurance. None of that makes for a good redemption arc and reducing that to, "So you want to see poor Emerald suffer, huh?" ignores the suffering she has already caused. The group are her victims and they are under no obligation to give her a second chance, particularly under these circumstances, which makes the story's choice to have Ren and Oscar act like Yang and Jaune are being stubborn or inconsiderate a problem. The conversation boils down to, "Give the woman you know to be a liar, manipulator, murder accomplice, and servant of our enemy a second chance based entirely on unfounded faith. If you don't you're letting yourself be ruled by fear."

RWBY's touchy-feely themes really don't sit well within its realistic, morally gray premise. We cannot continually have these characters go through hell one moment and then have others accuse them of being paranoid the next. The fact that all of this is wrapped up in the group trusting Robyn, Emerald, and Hazel over their established allies remains beyond frustrating.

Because yeah, you know how Oscar finishes his speech? “I’ve already gotten a lot of help today from someone I don’t exactly trust right now." Meaning Ozpin.

The story is trying to compare Emerald and Hazel to Ozpin.

"Oh hey, I kept a secret from you after lifetimes of watching that secret lead to betrayal and death. I keep apologizing for my mistakes while ignoring that I had no reason to trust a bunch of kids with such world-shattering information and also that you tore it from me in the most traumatic way possible."

"Oh hey, I willingly joined our world's version of the devil and helped her destroy your school, leading to numerous deaths including your friend and headmaster. It was his death that put Oscar in this position in the first place! I then continued to attack your group, leading to another near death of a friend, and a kidnapping, and the destruction of Amity, until I became scared enough to make a run for it."

Which one of these characters is granted an instant second chance? You'll never guess who!

And I do think the word "instant" is important here because just like Jaune and Yang have the right to have distance and justice from Emerald, they had that right with Ozpin too. The difference is they got it. They had the power in the situation, as evidenced by their use of the Lamp and physically attacking him. Ozpin heard what they needed from him — leave us alone — and did that without complaint. They were given months to come to terms with the secrets he kept. They were offered apologies and acts of service to demonstrate intent: saving them in the airship and continually saving Oscar. I don't believe Ozpin ever needed a redemption arc, but even if we think he did, he had it. After three volumes of material Oscar's perspective is still "I don't exactly trust [him] right now" but Hazel and Emerald have earned at least the same amount of trust in a matter of hours? They're really having my boy look at the guy who has tried desperately to do right by him despite unimaginable circumstances, and the guy who tortured him to get information for Salem, and went, "That first guy. He's the one we need to watch out for."

To make things even worse, Oscar tells the others that Ozpin took on all the torture so he wouldn't have to. So he did that and they still don't trust him? If you had told me back in Volume 6 that two years later the group would still be hostile towards Ozpin, while simultaneously urging one another to trust Emerald, I would have said you were lying. RWBY has its problems, but it's not that bad. Yet here we are. I suppose the one silver lining here is that Ren smiles when he realizes Ozpin is back? So at least one of them isn't prepared to draw their weapon at the mere mention of his name.

Both these moments raise more questions though. How in the world did Ozpin take on that torture when we clearly saw Oscar getting pummeled for a good portion of the kidnapping? Is that a weird merge thing the story hasn't bothered to explain? I wouldn't be surprised, considering Oscar said last episode he didn't want to use magic because it hastened the merge, he uses the biggest explosion of magic we've ever seen, and nothing has changed. Ozpin is still in the back of his head, thanking him for the tinniest shreds of decency they get. Ren, meanwhile, seems to be back to mindreading. How in the world does he know that Ozpin is back? I assume it has something to do with his semblance, but we don't know what. They could have shown us Oscar from Ren's perspective, perhaps with two distinct emotions swilling around to imply that he sees two different people now, not a useless shot of Emerald with purple flower petals, whatever purple means.

Oh, but no, we shouldn't have gotten either of these scenes. Remember that Ren's aura broke a very, very short time ago? Is it back already? Can he use this part of his semblance without it? Considering it was near impossible to see Ironwood's aura breaking in the Watts fight and we were then mistakenly told he used his semblance in the office, I'm going to go with, "The writers forgot."

Oscar explains that the cane had "lifetime after lifetime" of power in it and though there's still some left, "we have to be careful with how we use the rest." He says that Ozpin trusted his judgement and of course he did! Ozpin also didn’t know that there was a bomb on the way. Yet funnily enough, no one else mentions that, whoops, your choice made in ignorance was a waste and that's due entirely to us prioritizing hugs over basic mission information.

Also, all these explanations take place in front of Emerald. Half the group doesn't trust her, but they'll freely discuss their powers and limitations here. Remember how the group once wanted to talk about magical relics in front of the old lady they'd just met? Yeah, they've learned nothing.

Combine all this insanity with the fact that Ozpin's magic saved the day before Ironwood's bomb could do the same... while Ruby sat in a mansion drinking tea. Who's our hero again?

So things are a hot mess, to put it lightly. Their conversation finally ends when they hear voices and round the corner to find all the Atlas citizens huddled in the subway. For once the show actually writes them in a sympathetic manner, emphasizing how terrified and helpless they are. This image doesn't lead the group to any revelations though, certainly not anything that would tie back to Ren's earlier speech in the snow. No, once again the justified criticisms here are ignored as we hear that “However this fight ends, we could really use someone like you, [Emerald.]” That's it then. Discussion over. We knew as soon as it started that blindly trusting her was being presented as the "right" thing to do and now here we are, deciding that conclusively, despite Jaune and Yang's complaints. By the time the group reaches the mansion, Oscar is defending Emerald from Ruby. We're supposed to just accept that she's a part of the group now, only minimal pushback allowed.

Before that though we return to Ironwood getting news that their bomb never went off. He briefly wonders who else could have done that, but puts the currently unanswerable question aside for what he does know. They still have the bomb and it could be "useful." See, this moment — like shooting Oscar and the councilman — is when Ironwood just randomly goes off the deep end. One minute he's talking about what they've lost and cradling his new arm, 

the next he's saying that he should have tortured Qrow to get Penny to obey him! Which doesn't even make sense since I'm pretty sure Penny hasn't ever spoken to Qrow. She wouldn't want anyone to suffer, true, but it's not like Ironwood had a close friend like Ruby to use as leverage. Qrow is just Some Guy to her. Regardless, he thinks Yang, Jaune, and Ren are decent replacements, despite Penny also having no relationships with them. This is what happens when your characters only start breaking up their teams eight years into the story, the response to Ironwood wanting to torture Ren to hurt Penny is, “Does Penny know Ren exists?” But, you know, torture is torture, right? Maybe. Probably not. I mean, if they're going to turn Ironwood into a cartoon villain, they could at least keep him smart.

Because all of this is just the height of stupidity. Ironwood wants to torture people Penny barely knows to make her listen (so just grab some civilians? It would do the same job...). Ironwood wants to shoot down empty ships, even though no one, including us, knows where in the world those ships would have gone. Ironwood wants to destroy an entire city to try and save another city. He wants to use a bomb meant for a comparatively small whale and acts like that alone will take out the majority of a kingdom. None of it makes sense! And I know the easy comeback for that is, "Well yeah, Ironwood is crazy and evil" but he's not. I mean he is. Threatening torture and bombings is obviously evil, but he's never been insane, or stupid. As said before, his arc (or lack thereof) is an absolute disaster. The fandom assumes so many things about Ironwood given the opportunity — the whale is a suicide mission. He expects the Ace Ops to die on his order — and the writing hints at so many things that never happen — he's going to hurt his subordinates, attack Winter for disobeying him — and every time what we actually get is a far more compassionate, level-headed character... until he randomly does a 180 and goes, "Let's murder a whole city now!" I never wanted Ironwood to be the bad guy, but they could have at least given me a persuasive decent into this level of horror.

So... yeah. Ironwood has got to die by the end of the volume, yeah? Between Ruby warning the whole world about him and him going into full villain mode, there's no coming back from this.

Neo sends her text to Cinder and the group makes it back to the mansion. Remember Yang's criticisms of Ruby's leadership? The ones she conveniently forgot about when Ren started to agree with her? Yeah, those are entirely gone as the sisters hug it out and, presumably, forgive one another for... daring to admit that things are bad? Look, I'm not going to deny that Ironwood's scene with Winter was creepy as fuck, 

but I'm not of the opinion that the heroes are any better when it comes to the theme of obedience. They've attacked one another, screamed at one another, and any dissent from Ruby's leadership results in the questioner being left behind in the snow. We'll accept you again when you fall back in line. I used to adore the relationships in this show, but watching them now is just discomforting. The show might be 100% more obvious with Ironwood, using creepy music, a smile, and that hand on Winter's shoulder, but the concept of, "Sorry I dared to question you before! We won't ever do it again :)" isn't healthy either. The fact that the show keeps erasing theses problems with hugs — Weiss hugs Whitley now, Yang hugs Ruby, someone will probably hug Emerald soon — doesn't make the circumstances any less uncomfortable.

None of this even gets into the Blake and Yang hug. First of all, why is Blake acting like they had a fight and Yang might not want to see her? She's hiding inside rather than rushing to greet them, ears down in a devastated expression until Yang touches her. Combine this with Yang's "Do you think she's mad at me?" and it feels like the writers cut a fight in the final script and then didn't bother to remove the fallout from that. Seriously, where did any of this come from? You can't just have characters act like they've been fighting when they haven’t.

Also, can't forget this.

At this point there's nothing more I can say in regards to RWBY's almost-queer baiting. Is touching foreheads more intimate than the hugs Yang gave the others? Absolutely. Is that an appropriate stand-in for overt representation? Absolutely not. This would have been a perfect time for them to kiss. Take out Blake's nonsensical fear and replace it with them both reuniting after their first separation since Volume 5, working under the knowledge that either one could have been killed, finally admitting their feelings. Hell, they don't actually have to kiss. Not all girlfriends are interested in kissing! But they could use the terminology that makes things unequivocally canon.  Another forehead touch when we got that in Volume 6? It's not enough, especially not when our straight couples have all been allowed their rep.

Ren at least wants to know where Nora is. He's presumably told what happened off screen as Oscar tells Ruby that Emerald is their friend now.

Then an emergency call from May interrupts the reunion and the group learns that Ironwood is bombing the Schnee ships. “Those ships… they were going to save people” Weiss whispers. How? Tell me how they were going to save anyone. Where were you going to take these people where they would be safer than where they are now? RWBY continually asserts things without explaining them, meaning there is precisely zero emotional weight here. Again, Ironwood is far past the point of defense, but I'd be a whole lot more critical of this particular action if I had a better sense of why it's bad. He appears to be endangering the people given May's shout to run — falling debris? — but the further implication is that Ironwood has doomed the people of Mantle by denying them these ships. It's that part that makes no sense based on what we've been told.

Which finally comes to the ultimatum of our episode title: Penny opens the vault, or Ironwood bombs Mantle. Great! So glad this plan is wicked smart and works well for his characterization. It's definitely not a nonsensical, unfounded, overblown change that feels like it belongs in a child's cartoon, complete with dramatic spotlight. Nope. Excellent writing choices all around.

Our final line of the episode is, “I hope you live up to the title I gave you," referring to Penny's job as the Protector of Mantle, and you know what? That line could have been very cool if it was delivered by an Ironwood with a persuasive fall and a halfway decent plan in place. I love that we've twisted the concept of a protector and turned the title into a horrifying, rather than honorable responsibility... I just hate everything surrounding those details. 

So, usual RWBY fare.

(At least we get to see that Nora is awake!) 

Will things get better over the next four episodes? I doubt it. We're still expecting the rest of the Ace Ops + Winter to ditch Ironwood, someone getting the vault open, the fall of Atlas, now the potential destruction of Mantle, and none of that includes Salem who should reform at any moment. Frankly, I'm not looking forward to any of it. The final leg of a season should make its audience excited to see how everything turns out, not dreading it. I've heard from multiple people that this is the volume that finally got them to drop the show and honestly? I'm not surprised.

As a final (happier?) note: we've finally got a bingo! I completely forgot our board last time, which was a terrible oversight, but we can update it now.

Our army of grimm can't kill anyone now that it got KOed by Oscar (that is the third one hit defeat of a major enemy we've seen this volume. Yes, I'm including the Hound considering it was obviously on its last legs after Ruby's eyes.)

I'm likewise including "Ozpin apologizes for everything including his existence" because he's done nothing but apologize since he came back. The emotion is there even if the literal words are not. Oscar reminded everyone of how untrustworthy he is, but kept the group from jumping them again. And Ozpin thanked him for it.

Neo didn't literally backstab Cinder (shame), but the Relic still counts.

So a triple bingo! Is that how bingo works? Idk, I've never played. I feel like I should have thought up some sort of humorous prize, but sadly I've got nothing. If you think of anything, let me know lol

That’s all then, folks. Until next week! 💜

[thesassenachswiftie]

Lover - Chapter 13: “Soon You’ll Get Better”

Read on AO3

Chapter 1 // Chapter 2 // Chapter 3 // Chapter 4 // Chapter 5 // Chapter 6 // Chapter 7 // Chapter 8 // Chapter 9 // Chapter 10 // Chapter 11 // Chapter 12

Summary: Claire and Jo go Christmas shopping; Claire gets a call at work that Lamb’s in the hospital in Boston where she fears she will need to spend the holidays without Jamie. In short: angst, but make it festive.

" This won't go back to normal, if it ever was It's been years of hoping, and I keep saying it because 'Cause I have to

Ooh-ah, you'll get better..."

CW: cancer, hospitals, illness of a loved one,

Notes: First of all, if you’re still here, thank you for reading, and thank you for bearing with me as I took a small hiatus. Hopefully I will be getting back to a more regular posting schedule, but work is really draining right now and it’s hard to find enough hours in the day to do everything. 

As you know, each Chapter of this fic is based off a Taylor Swift song by the same name. This one was particularly difficult to write/approach because I actually haven’t listened to this song in over a year. In early Summer 2019, a tumor was found on my grandfather’s brain. This was also the summer I discovered Outlander, and the summer Taylor Swift released Lover. The day after Lover came out, I broke down sobbing in my apartment listening to this song and thinking about my grandfather, knowing his condition was worsening. That night, I recieved the call that my grandfather had passed. He was the kindest, purest soul and I write this chapter in part as a tribute to him. Many of the experiences Claire and Lamb share are based on my own experiences with my grandpa that summer, and this version of Lamb is very much based on my Grandpa Jim. 

That being said, you may want to grab a box of tissues before reading, but hopefully not all your tears will be sad. I’m hoping to post again before Chistmas, but in case I don’t Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays--and Happy Hanukkah to any Jewish readers I may have--here is a Hanukkah present for you!

 Chapter 13: “Soon You’ll Get Better”  

         “All I want for Christmas is yooouuuuu” the sounds of Mariah Carey rang out throughout the small boutique gift shop in the heart of the village of Northport.

           “Good God, we’re only a week into December and I swear I’ve already heard this song three hundred times. I’m not exaggerating either. Two hundred and eight-four at the very least.” Jo scoffed exasperatedly.

           “Are you complaining?” Claire asked in reply. “It’s a great song--a classic really.”

           “Do you know how many incredible, amazing, beautiful, jolly Christmas songs there are in existence?” Jo was gearing up for one of their famous rants, “Yet, the radio stations only ever play the same eighteen songs, I swear!”

           “It must be more than eighteen.”

           “Fine. Twenty. Take this song for instance: Ingrid Michaelson has the most hauntingly beautiful cover of it--do you ever hear it? No! You only ever hear Mariah!”

           “I, for one, like Mariah!” Claire interjected, playfully defensive.

           “Who doesn’t? But she’s not the only powerhouse female vocalist out there! I’d just like to see a little diversity in my holiday music, is that so much to ask?”

           Claire giggled. Her best friend always had an opinion on everything and she loved them all the more for it. “Do you think Jenny would like this candle?” Claire unscrewed the lid a locally-made jar candle, taking a sniff before placing it under Jo’s nose. It smelled like Lavender and Sage with just a hint of Eucalyptus.

           “Does Jenny keep a lot of candles around, with all those children?” Jo chuckled back. “It does smell nice though.” Jo had only met Jenny a couple times when visiting Claire, but they had a knack for reading people and Claire was glad to have them along as a shopping partner.

           “I suppose candles aren’t really her thing. Jenny seems very practical, but I don’t know what she would need that she doesn’t already have, and Jamie’s been no help!”

           “I think you’re on the right track with the self-care/relaxation vibe, but maybe not something the children can use to burn the house down. What about an artisanal lotion set?” Jo inquired, gesturing at a nearby display.

           “Oh that might work!” Claire took a squirt from the bottle labeled ‘tester’ inhaling deeply as she rubbed it between her palms. “Ooo that’s nice, I would appreciate this if I were a hardworking mother.”

           “If things keep going the way they are with your man, LJ, you might just be before you know it” Jo made a lewd gesture with their hands, raising their eyebrows to make it clear exactly what they were implying.

           “Jo! You’re terrible” Claire shrieked, smacking her friend playfully on the arm. Besides, not much of that happening these days if you haven’t noticed, Jamie is literally across the ocean.”

           “Well, at least you can’t get knocked up from phone sex,” Jo replied. “What are you getting him anyway? I’m thinking something lacy and strappy, with little bows on it of course, to be festive. There’s a place down the street that might have something like that.”

           “Hmm” Claire exhaled. “We’ll see.” Claire knew lingerie was definitely going to be part of Jamie’s Christmas gift, one she would be most excited for him to unwrap. God, she missed him. It had been over a month and they were settling into a routine, video chatting every night, sweet texts back and forth throughout the day, the occasional phone sex when they were both sick with desire for one other--but nothing was the same as the feel of their bodies pressed against each other in the heat of the moment, chasing each other’s climax. Claire couldn’t wait to be reunited with him in every way.

           It was two days before Christmas break, only a few days left until Claire would find freedom for the next ten days and, most of all--the comfort of Jamie’s arms. Claire was sitting in her school nurse’s office, inhaling deeply during the first quiet moments she’d had all week. There was an uptick of student visits in the past couple weeks--a few were legitimate concerns tied to cold and flu season: students whose parents sent them to school when they weren’t quite well enough, overachievers who wanted to maintain their perfect attendance dragging themselves to school despite their bodies protestations. Most of her patients however, were suffering from something much more insidious: the eagerness to start their winter break early by skipping their classes. This time of year the air of the school felt different, students and teachers alike were burnt out, apathetic, and ready for a break. This attitude in the students fed into the teachers’ attitudes--overworked with the end of the marking period, trying to squeeze in Christmas shopping and decorating between grading. Claire did not envy Jo nor any of the other teachers during this time, but their exhaustion was so palpable in the air of the school that she was starting to feel it too. By tomorrow, most teachers would be shutting their doors and playing a holiday film, giving up on instruction all together--hopefully that would make for a quiet day for Claire. Really, if she could just get through the rest of the day it would be smooth sailing until Christmas--until Jamie.

           Her silent musings were broken by the blaring sound of her office phone. She was expecting a teacher, calling to send a student down, but instead it was the school clerk, Glenda. “Hi Nurse Beauchamp, we have an outside call for you, it seems like it may be a personal call so if there’s any students with you we can send someone down to watch them if you’d like to take it privately here in the office.”

           Claire's heart sank to her stomach. What could it be? She took a deep breath and swallowed to brace herself before replying “last student just left.”

           “Alright, I’ll transfer you now.” The click of the call transferring sounded through the phone.

           “Hello, this is Miss Beauchamp”

           “Hello Miss Beauchamp, I’m Tammy, a nurse at Mass General we’re calling because you’re listed as the emergency contact for Quentin Beauchamp” a nasally voice croaked through the phone speaker--the voice was impersonal like that of a cashier saying “have a nice day” for the thousandth time, not fitting of a potential harbinger of death.

           “Yes…” Claire replied, nervously, questioningly.

           “Mr. Lambert was admitted this morning after showing signs of cognitive distress. An initial cat scan shows a mass on his brain. He’s currently undergoing testing to see if it’s cancerous.”

           Claire’s lungs felt like they were about to collapse. Lamb had been diagnosed with prostate cancer several years ago, but had been able to live with it through treatment. Claire also knew that cancer was insidious and could spread throughout the body rapidly and without warning. She knew it was very likely that the mass was cancer. She tried to find her medical professional voice, but a diagnosis was different when it was someone you loved. Instead, she croaked out, “when will you know?”

           “We should have the results by tomorrow. He’ll stay here overnight for monitoring and we’ll decide whether to admit him long term from there.”

           “I’m on Long Island, should I drive up?”

           “I’m afraid it’s too soon to tell, it could be nothing, but--” Claire cut her off, knowing exactly how bad it could be.

           “I understand. I’ll drive up this evening.”

           “Alright, he should be back in his room by then, he’s out getting his tests done now. It’s room 713 when you get here.” Claire wrote the number on a bright blue sticky note on her desk as the nurse spoke. “Have a nice day Ms. Beauchamp”

           “Hmm” was all she could reply, as if she could possibly have a nice day. She hung up the phone, and finally let the deluge of tears she’d been holding back free.

She allowed herself to cry for a few minutes to get it out, but she knew she had to get to Boston as soon as possible. She picked up the phone again and dialed the main office.

“Hi Glenda, it’s Claire. I need to take the rest of the day off--I have to go to Boston, my uncle…” she couldn’t say it out loud for fear of unleashing the tears again “Is Principal Gowan there, I need to let him know.”

“Oh Nurse Beauchamp, I’m so sorry to hear that, let me know if you need anything. Mr. Gowan’s in his office, I’ll transfer you to him now, if he doesn’t answer just pack up your things and go, I’ll take care of it”

“Thanks Glenda, I really appreciate it”

----------

           After getting the ok from her kind and understanding principal, Claire rushed back to Jamie’s apartment, hastily packed a bag (likely forgetting several things), informed Jenny where she was going--which was met with sympathy and genuine concern--and hopped back in the car for the journey to Boston. She entered the hospital doors several hours later, the buttons of her coat were tangled in her hair as she rushed, breathless, to the front desk to receive her visitor’s pass.

           When she arrived at Lamb’s room, he was asleep. She didn’t want to wake him, but she gave his hand a reassuring squeeze to let him know she was there before settling into the armchair beside him to await his awakening. He looked so frail and small in the hospital bed, not at all like the strong, spirited man who had raised her. He had left the television on--some sports channel was playing a highlight reel of various golfing moments. No wonder Lamb fell asleep. Claire was staring at the screen, but her thoughts were elsewhere: worried about Lamb, wondering if she’d remember everything when she hastily packed, wondering what the future held. Would she have to spend Christmas in this hospital room? A golf ball soared across the Scottish Highlands on the screen. Jamie. Jamie was coming home Christmas Eve, she was supposed to pick him up from the airport, supposed to spend her holiday break with him, experience her first Hogmanay with the Murray family, be surrounded by love and laughter and family. Lamb was supposed to be fine, he was supposed to take the train down, spend Christmas with them. Every plan they had made was shattered into a million pieces. Would she even be able to see Jamie? She thought about the presents she’d bought for him, not yet wrapped, piled in the closet but definitely not hidden, especially considering it was his apartment. Of course he’d understand--she could tell him where they were, but the magic of unwrapping would be lost, it would feel entirely unsentimental. It was bad enough that she felt her gifts weren’t sentimental enough--what could she possibly get him to show how special he was to her? How could she communicate that with an object? If she were a painter she would paint him a painting, if she were a songwriter she would write him a song, but she was simply Claire, and practical gifts were all she knew. She had purchased a cozy blue sweater to match his eyes and keep him warm in the brisk London winters, a cool multi-tool the size of a credit card that would fit in his wallet and help him solve a variety of problems, a protective case for his phone, and a box of artisanal beef jerky.  She had also procured a complicated piece of lingerie with a big red bow across the chest for him to unwrap the night of Christmas, which she knew he would enjoy. Everything was thoughtful enough and mostly practical, but she longed to be able to give him something truly special--a grand gesture to match her feelings for him. Claire glanced back at her uncle and immediately felt guilty being so selfish. I hate to make this all about me. Lamb always had a knack for helping her realize what was important when life’s situations overwhelmed her. She needed him for perspective, but how could she talk to him about this? How could she tell him how she felt? She knew it was wrong, but she was mad at him for getting sick so close to Christmas. Who am I supposed to talk to? What am I supposed to do if there’s no you? The tears were welling up in her eyes as she watched her most beloved uncle sleep--hooked up to machines, pale and listless in the hospital bed.

           Claire slipped into the adjoining bathroom to try to compose herself--she didn’t want her uncle to wake up and see her upset, she knew he would try to comfort her, to be the rock he always had been for her. She was here to be his rock this time, she needed to stay strong for him. She looked at herself in the mirror, telling herself it was going to be ok--her uncle was strong and he’d been fighting a long time--he’d continue to fight. Soon you’ll get better. She had to convince herself it was true, pretend it wasn’t real, it wasn’t so bad. She knew it was a delusion, she could see it all over her glass face when she looked in the mirror. She was genuinely afraid that this could be when she lost him, if not physically right away, he could be lost mentally. She’d been hoping for years he would get better, but now it seemed he’d taken a turn for the worse. She took a few deep breaths and offered up a prayer. She wasn’t usually religious, but they say desperate people find faith, so she decided it was time to try. God? Jesus? Whoever is up there. I know I don’t much deserve anything from you, I’m not sure I’m exactly on good terms with you, but I’m inclined to believe you care and you are good. Besides, I’m not really asking anything for myself, not really. I just pray my Uncle is ok, I pray he gets better. He has to. Please don’t take his brilliant mind away from him. Please let him be ok. Please, I’ll be good, I’ll do whatever it takes to help him. Just please, please, don’t take him away from me. I need him. Please let him get better. Please let him get better. Claire continued to repeat the words like a mantra as she returned to her bedside chair. She stared at the collection of orange bottles on the tray table. Please let them help him get better. Please let him get better. Please, please, please let him get better.

           Claire had no idea how long she sat there, repeating those words to herself, but her silent appeal was interrupted when a nurse entered the room to check her uncle’s vitals.

           “Hi, I’m Brenda, I’ll be the nurse on duty tonight.” Brenda erased a name on a small whiteboard in front of the room and replaced it with her own.

           “I’m Claire, I’m his niece.”

           Brenda had made her way over to the other side of the bed and was checking the monitors beside the bed, making notes on the chart in her hand. “I hate waking them up, but I’m going to have to.” Claire was glad that she was much kinder than the nurse she had spoken with on the phone earlier—had that really been earlier? It seemed much longer since that phone call. “Excuse me, Quentin? Sir?” Brenda gently nudged his arm to awaken him. Lamb’s eyes fluttered open and he looked disoriented, Claire watched him carefully hoping that his disorientation was solely from being awoken mid-sleep and not from any neurological damage.

           “Hi Uncle Lamb” Claire stammered, hoping she sounded cheerful anyway.

           “Claire! My girl! You came all the way to see your old uncle!”

           “Of course I did! How are you?” she replied warmly.

           “Oh, I’m fine, they’re taking good care of me here.” Lamb’s voice sounded genuinely content and Claire felt comforted for the first time since the hospital had called her earlier that day.

           “Hello sir, my name’s Brenda, I’ll be your nurse tonight. I just need to ask you a few questions and check your vitals.”

           “What is your name?”

           “Quentin Lambert Beauchamp”

           “Good. When is your birthday?

           “March 23th, 1939”

           “Good, and who is the president?”

           “Well, unfortunately…” both Claire and Brenda giggled at how Lamb began his sentence. Claire was well aware of Lamb’s opinions of the current president of the United States, and was glad to see he hadn’t lost his sly sense of humor or his disdain for the man.  She was also glad he knew who the president was, hopefully his mental capacities were more promising than the worst-case-scenario her mind was conjuring.

----------

           Claire stayed by her uncle’s side for the rest of the night, only leaving the room twice, once to find something to eat from a vending machine, and once for her nightly call to Jamie. She allowed herself to break down when talking to Jamie, sobbing over the phone. Jamie did his best to comfort her through the speaker, desperately wishing he could be there for her in person. Claire wished the same, longing to curl up in his strong embrace, and bury her swollen face in his chest. She couldn’t bring up the fact that she might have to spend Christmas in Boston. She was enough of a mess without facing the reality that they wouldn’t see each other, and when Jamie promised they’d see each other soon at the end of their call, Claire hung up quickly as another wave of emotion overtook her and she buried her face in her hands to cry some more.

           The next morning, the doctor came in with Lamb’s results. Claire grasped Lamb’s hand, unsure of who was holding onto whom for comfort as the doctor explained that the mass on Lamb’s brain was in fact cancerous, but it was still relatively small and had been caught early. He explained that they could operate on it and remove it, however there was no guarantee that it wouldn’t come back or that they’d be able to get it all out. It was moments like these where Claire desperately wished she was already a surgeon, that she could feel in control of the outcome--though could she operate on her own uncle? Would she be able to hold her hand steady enough to do a good job? No, perhaps it was best left to the veteran surgeons in Boston.

           After discussing all the details and options with the doctor’s, Lamb decided to go through with the surgery. It was scheduled for the day after Christmas and Claire resigned herself to the sobering fact that she’d be spending the holidays in the hospital. As the florescent hospital lights lit the room with an unnatural glow, Claire couldn’t tell him she was scared. She had to stay strong, she had to keep it together and remain positive and supportive.

           ----------

           Claire spent the next few days devoted to her uncle, rarely leaving his bedside. Lamb had forced her to spend the nights at his apartment, which was probably for the best. She wasn’t sleeping well to begin with and the recliner at the hospital was only making matters worse. Claire was present and doting on him from morning to night though, helping her uncle order his meals, assisting him when he needed to use the restroom, adding and removing pillows and blankets as needed, or anything else he needed or wanted. Lamb had been moved to the cancer floor, and the window of his new room had a nice view of the Boston skyline. Lamb was making the best of a bad deal, he bragged about his ‘luxury accommodations’, he cracked jokes often, he liked the nicer nurses, he ordered extra dessert with all his meals and was in generally pleasant spirits. Claire could see the cracks in his cognition though. Sometimes he would change the topic he was discussing mid-sentence, and he couldn’t seem to keep time straight. Whenever anyone would mention Christmas, he would act surprised to know that it was coming up, and at one point he hinted at Claire that she might just get those roller skates she wanted for Christmas, a gift she had not asked for since she was eleven years old. He didn’t seem to know what year it was or how old Claire was. He did know who Claire was though, and for that she was thankful. He also knew who the president was whenever the nurses asked, always beginning his answer with a short preamble to make known his disdain.

Before they knew it, it was Christmas Eve and Claire couldn’t hide the sadness she felt on her face. She was glad to spend the evening with Lamb, but she had been looking forward to her first big family Christmas. She had filled in Jamie about Lamb’s condition and her subsequent stay in Boston over the course of their phone calls that week. She had also describe the Christmas gifts she had purchased for the Murrays, Jo, and Lamb, so Jamie would know the rest were for him. Jamie had agreed to put the Murrays gifts in gift bags and distribute them for her. They were meant to exchange family gifts that evening, the morning being reserved for Santa, and Claire was heartbroken to be missing out. In a matter of hours, and for the first time in two months, her and Jamie would be on the same continent, yet they wouldn’t be able to see each other. There was no way Claire could get into the Christmas spirit under these conditions. The hospital, despite being modestly decorated, was not the most festive atmosphere. Even a troop of Girl Scouts caroling their way through the hospital halls did nothing to assuage the weight of losing everything Claire had been looking forward to for the past two months.

           “What’s a matter, my dear?” Lamb asked, showing genuine concern for his niece.

           “It’s nothing, I’m fine, I promise, I’m just wishing things were different today.”

           “Why today? Is it something special? I can’t seem to remember.”

           “It’s Christmas Eve. You were supposed to come to Long Island and meet Jamie. We were going to spend the holiday with his family.”

           “Yes, I remember, that’s today? Oh dear, I haven’t gotten your gift yet I’m afraid.”

           “That’s fine, Lamb, I’m afraid I left your gift at home, so we’ll have to do that part later. We can take a raincheck on gift exchanging. I was just really looking forward to you getting to know Jamie.”

           “I’m sure I’ll meet the lad soon; he seems really special to you.”

           “He is; I know you’ll like him.”

           “I already do.” He patted the top of her hand and turned his attention back to the sitcom on the television, providing humorous commentary to try to cheer Claire up.

----------

It was late Christmas morning. Uncle Lamb was napping again and Claire had switched the television to the Hallmark Channel--usually her guilty pleasure this season, today it was simply reminding her of how her Christmas was proving to be less than magical. For her there would be no Christmas kisses, no magical snowfall, no saving the small town family business or learning to love Christmas again. All that awaited her this Christmas were fluorescent lights, beeping monitors, and nurses visiting every 6 hours to check her uncle’s vitals. This Christmas would be decidedly the most un-magical she had ever experienced. She had had her share of unconventional Christmases in the past, in fact, she never really was a Christmas person, but it had started to feel special to her when she was living in New York. This Christmas though--this was one she was looking forward to more than ever before. Claire spent most of the morning crying, grieving over all she was missing. She should have spent the morning curled up in Jamie’s arms, watching the children open presents. She could picture the Murray’s living room, trashed with colorful wrapping paper from end to end, each child in their own private world fascinated by their latest favorite toy, Jenny and Ian beaming through tired eyes.

Claire was surprised Jamie hadn’t called her to fill her in on the details yet. He had called yesterday when his plane arrived--groggy and jet-lagged, his communication skills were not the most eloquent, but he tried his best to make her feel better. She hadn’t heard from him at all this morning though, not even a Merry Christmas text. Surely the jet lag would have woken him up as early as the children, and they must have been done opening presents by now. Claire tried to rationalize that Jamie was just spending time with his family, but she couldn’t help feeling hurt and ignored. She thought she was important enough to him that he could take a moment away from his family to at least text her, or to find some way to make her feel included from afar. Had his feelings changed in their months apart? Did coming home to a messy apartment turn him off? Did she find his Christmas gifts and come to think she didn’t care enough to get him something more thoughtful? She thought about calling him, but a mixture of pride and fear kept her from acting first, not to mention she couldn’t stop crying over these sappy Christmas movies.

Suddenly, a voice from the doorway rang through the room, “Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas!” Claire looked up in confusion, momentarily unable to comprehend her surroundings and the disruption that had just entered them. Santa? No. The tall figure filling the door frame was dressed like Santa, beard and all, but the unmistakable Scottish burr gave away his true identity. If Claire hadn’t already been crying, she certainly was now. Jamie was standing in the doorway, dressed in a Santa suit, carrying a large, blue IKEA bag overflowing with wrapped presents and what appeared to be Christmas decorations.

“What?” Claire could hardly believe he was there, she rose from the chair and the couple met in the middle of the room for a hearty embrace. Claire buried her face in the soft, fluffy suit covering Jamie’s chest, sobbing uncontrollably. Perhaps the setting wasn’t a snow covered street in a small town, but this was her own Hallmark movie moment--and to be honest, those Hallmark guys had nothing on James Alexander Malcolm Mackenzie Fraser. Jamie held her close, and tight, planting kisses in her curls and whispering softly to her.

“I’m here, mo nighean donn.” He caressed her shoulders with his thumbs, not releasing his embrace in the slightest, breathing in her scent, trying to absorb her fears and pain.

All of the commotion had awoken Uncle Lamb and after witnessing the couples’ embrace for longer than was comfortable, Lamb loudly cleared his throat to remind them of his presence in the room.

“Uncle Lamb!” Claire unfolded herself from Jamie’s embrace, keeping one arm around his back. Jamie sheepishly pulled the fake beard down around his neck to reveal his face and removed his Santa hat, clutching it tightly in the palm that wasn’t holding Claire. “This is Jamie, my Jamie. Jamie, this is my Uncle Lamb.”

“Well, I’m certainly glad it’s not Santa Claus, or we’d have a lot of explaining to do to the lad!” Lamb chuckled back.

“A pleasure to finally meet you, sir.” Jamie reluctantly released Claire from his grasp to step beside the bed, extending a firm but gentle hand to Lamb. “I’m sorry it’s not under better circumstances.”

“Pleased to meet you as well, lad” Lamb replied, patting Jamie’s hand with his before releasing their handshake. “And don’t you worry about me, I have the best nurse there is taking care of me.” Two sets of proudly smiling eyes met Claire across the room.

“Oh I dinna doubt it for a second. Your niece is a rare woman.”

“Glad to see we’re in agreement. Now what’s all that?” Lamb gestured towards the large tote discarded near Claire’s feet.

“Aye, I thought I’d bring you two a bit o’ holiday cheer.” Jamie pulled a large cardboard box from the bag and extracted a small tabletop Christmas tree from it, unfurling each branch carefully and placing it on the countertop across the room, plugging it in to reveal fiber optic lights changing colors dreamily. “I usually insist on my Christmas trees being more, well, alive, but under the circumstances this’ll have tae do.” Jamie and Claire spent the next half hour or so festooning the room in garlands and placing tiny ornaments on the small tree. Claire tried to ignore that more than half of the bag was filled with brightly wrapped gifts, not sure whether she was hoping they were all for her, or hoping that they weren’t. After all, she didn’t have anything to give him and she didn’t know if he had looked through his gifts yet nor if he had appreciated them.

While they decorated, Jamie filled Claire and Lamb in on the events of the last few days. Jamie had called Jenny to tell her not to bother picking him up from the airport. He had planned on renting a car there and driving straight to Boston. Claire could hear Jenny’s voice loud and clear through Jamie’s imitation “ya clotheid! Have ya gone daft? Yer barely able to form coherent sentences amidst the jet lag from yer Christmas Eve flight, and ya wanna drive five hours tae Boston in that state!?! Claire willna appreciate ya ending up in a ditch on the side of the road as a Christmas present ya eejit!” Jenny had made a fair point, and Jamie had agreed to sleep at home and left shortly after he awoke that morning, staying only long enough for the children to open their stockings, and to watch their faces alight with surprise at the sudden appearance of piles of presents under and around the tree.

“I’m glad you took Jenny’s advice, but most of all I’m glad you’re here.” She embraced him again. “You didn’t have to do this though, Jamie, I know how important your family is to you.”

Jamie stepped back and lifted Claire’s chin with his thumb, looking into her eyes. “You are important to me, Sassenach.” he replied, with a sincerity that penetrated Claire’s heart. Claire responded by kissing Jamie chastely on the cheek, knowing her uncle was only four feet away--politely trying to ignore them and watch the television which he had flipped to an all-day marathon of A Christmas Story on repeat. Jamie’s welcome intrusion broke up the monotony of hospital life and seemed to give Lamb a better sense of what day it was.

“Now that we’ve got the place looking good and festive, I believe it’s traditional to exchange gifts on Christmas day.”

“Jamie, it’s too much, I--”

“Oh? Thought they were all for you, didja Sassenach?” he teased. Claire blushed. Of course; she hadn’t really--but who else would they be for? Surely Jamie wouldn’t spoil Lamb, a complete stranger to him, quite so much, and no one else was there. She looked dumbfounded as she tried to come up with a defense but Jamie stopped her. “Dinna fash, Sassenach, Jenny wrapped your gifts for me and Lamb before I could see and I bought them along too. She thanks ya for the wee lotions, by the way.”

“God bless Jenny! That woman is a Saint.” Claire also silently thanked God that she had left the present she was planning on wearing for Jamie that evening in her dresser drawer, that was not a gift she wanted Jenny to see, and was definitely not something she wanted him to be opening in front of her uncle.

The three exchanged gifts, save Lamb, who had nothing to give but smiles and approval for the young couples’ thoughtful gifts. Jamie was genuinely appreciative of Claire’s gifts, although she kept insisting that she hadn’t finished shopping and there was more to come; to which Jamie humbly rejected, claiming it wasn’t necessary. Jamie’s gifts to Claire were thoughtful and meaningful, the most touching ones being a print of a painting of the rose garden he had ordered from the Botanic Garden’s gift shop and a bracelet engraved with the words perennis amor, which caused Claire to tear up and embrace him tenderly in spite of her uncle’s presence.

The three enjoyed the rest of the day thoroughly. A Christmas Story played in the background and they laughed and shared stories with one another. Jamie was a born storyteller and Lamb was elated to have a fresh audience to recount his many adventures to, so conversation flowed naturally between them, with Claire occasionally interjecting. Claire mostly just sat back and admired the two men who were most important to her, filled with joy that they were getting along, that Jamie was there, that it was Christmas. For the first time in several days she had hope and peace. She was surrounded by love in that hospital room as well. She had all the things Christmas was said to bring, and for that she was grateful. Jamie had made her greatest Christmas wishes come true without her even asking and she felt lucky to be alive.

The hospital staff served their version of Christmas dinner for the small family, and while Claire was sure it paled in comparison to whatever Jenny had made, it was quite delicious, especially considering it was hospital food. Jamie ate in the armchair next to Lamb at Claire’s insistence, since the two were deep in conversation, and Claire sat in the chair on the other side of Jamie, taking in her magical Christmas scene, better than any Hallmark movie could depict.

After dinner, Jamie was fading fast, listening to one of Lamb’s stories with heavy eyes.  She took one of the spare blankets and covered Jamie. “Looks like you’re still not over your jet lag”

“Hrmmphh, I ‘spose not.”

“Do you want me to go get you a coffee? I doubt the cafe downstairs is open today, but there’s a cappuccino vending machine a few floors down that isn’t terrible.”

“Aye Sassenach, that’d be bonny. If it’s not too much trouble.”

“None at all, my love, I’ll be back soon.” Claire squeezed his hand before leaving the two men alone.

Jamie listened to her footsteps down the hall, and waited until he heard the ding of the elevator before he cleared his throat to speak frankly to Lamb. He sat up straight in the chair to ward off the sleepiness, having a few important things he wanted to say before Claire came back.

“Lamb, I need you to know, Claire is the most important person in my life. I love her sae much and I’d do anything for her.”

“I’m glad to hear that, I can see how happy you make her. She lights up when you’re around, it comforts my old heart to see.”

“I need you tae know, I’m very serious about her. I ken we haven’t been together that long, but I know--I know deep in my wame that I’m meant tae be hers. I want ya to know that I intend on spending the rest of my life making her happy, and while I havna bought a ring or ennathing yet, I wanted to ask yer blessing” Jamie paused for a moment before adding, “just in case.”

“Of course you have my blessing, son. I couldn’t be more glad to know that Claire will be so well cared for after I’m gone, truly.” Both men looked somber, knowing full well that this could be their last conversation, hoping dearly that it wasn’t. Claire returned with three cappuccinos in hand, surprised by the mood in the room.

“Everything alright, gentlemen? Don’t tell me Ralphie shot his eye out!”

“Och! Everything’s fine, Claire! I’m just tired is all, I’m sure this wee cappuccino will cure me in no time!” replied Jamie, eagerly taking a cup from Claire as she set another on Lamb’s tray table. The rest of the evening was quiet as Jamie took a nap, while Lamb and Claire watched A Christmas Story more intently then they had all day. Claire didn’t want to leave him alone so early on Christmas so she let Jamie nap until Lamb was asleep soundly for the night. The sense of joy she had felt all day was still present, but the nagging worry she felt about Lamb’s coming surgery was starting to settle in as well. Claire woke Jamie gently and Claire whispered softly to Lamb that they’d return in the morning, squeezing his hand before the couple quietly left the room.

----------

They walked out to Jamie’s car, since he still had his stuff packed in it, but Claire drove them back to Lamb’s apartment where she’d been staying. The cappuccino was helping Jamie stay coherent, but he was in no state to drive. They were quiet on the drive home, but kept their hands locked between the seats, grateful just to be in the presence of one another.

When they arrived at Lamb’s apartment, Jamie was so tired, he didn’t even want to brush his teeth, let alone do any of his usual nightly routines. However, he had spent the morning sweating in a polyester Santa suit over his clothes, and although he took it off shortly after his surprise arrival, he felt in need of a shower. Claire showed him where the bathroom was and made sure he had everything he needed, and got herself ready for bed.

Jamie showered quickly, not bothering to wash his hair, and only cleaning the parts of his body where any stench would be most concentrated, figuring the water would take care of the rest. A few minutes later, he emerged from the bathroom with a towel around his waist, ready to collapse into bed, but not before embracing his sorcha. He scooped her into his embrace and she buried her face in his bare, firm chest, warm from the shower. He smelled clean, and fresh and most of like Jamie. “I’m so happy you’re with me, Jamie. You have no idea how much it means to me that you’re here.” the emotions of the day hit her again and her voice caught at the end of her sentence as tears filled her eyes once again. Jamie kissed her forehead softly, down to her nose, and landed on her lips, giving her the firm, passionate kiss they’d both been longing for all day--and for months before that.

“Mo cridhe.” Jamie breathed when they separated. “I’m here. I’ll always be here for you. I’ll no’ leave you alone when ya need me.”

“Oh Jamie” Claire was still crying, “I’ve been so worried. I’ve been trying to stay strong for Lamb, but I feel like this won’t go back to normal--if there ever was a normal with him. I’m scared he’s going to get worse, or--” her sentence dissolved into a fit of sobs, which she tried to stifle on Jamie’s shoulder.

“You don’t have to stay strong when you’re with me. I’ll be here to help you shoulder the burden. I’ll be here to soak up your tears. There’s two of us now, Claire.” He pressed a kiss into her curls. “You can feel your feelings now, mo cridhe. Lay your cares on me. Come now, let’s get ya tae bed. I’m no’ sure how much longer I can stand myself.”

Claire fell asleep wrapped safely in Jamie’s embrace, free to be herself fully. Free to be vulnerable she felt safe, she felt loved, she felt comfortable, and most new to her--she felt she had the hope and strength that she could carry on, no matter what was to come. She slept better than she had in weeks, secure in the embrace of her eternal love.

End Notes: Thanks again for reading!! By the way, the Ingrid Michaelson song Jo mentions is hauntingly beautiful and you should listen to it. Also, I hope you liked Jamie's surprise. This was going to be a lot more angsty of a chapter but Jamie refused to let Claire suffer and had other plans. I know this was full of a lot of emotional ups and downs, and hopefully we can all find some comfort in the fact that just because Christmas/the holidays may look different for a lot of us this year, it can still be special, and there's still light, joy, love, hope, and peace to be found in the midst of the darkness.

[theseerasures]

YOu have a lot of interesting thoughts abt Winter what dyou think will happen with her this season?? Iknow you already said she won't die but. other stuff?? What do you think of the idea that she defects to salem

y’know, anon: i was actually gonna write something to this tune unprompted before the hiatus ended? i didn’t, because when it’s inevitably revealed that i was wrong about Everything and the village children throw their eggs and laugh i didn’t want to give them any more receipts, but now that someone has asked i might as well

quick disclaimer before i start! these are subjective speculations about a character who has thus far been--particularly in 8.1--sparsely and ambivalently characterized, on purpose. i am spinning from the same subtext as anyone else, and if i am reading it differently, then all that means that i am reading it differently. Mr. Teeth is not sending me secret data. i am not the Steve Kornacki of RWBY Defections, as hilarious as it is to imagine someone like that existing.

okay? okay. below are some ideas and theories about where Winter could be going this season

The Defection (no not that one yet)

yeah, i’m still an “AceOps defect as a team” truther. this one actually has the least to do with Winter, and most to do with story economy. and the story of the AceOps is this: under Clover they were “the perfect team”--efficient, powerful, professional, and the perfect emblem of Atlesian values. law and order above all else. the mission matters more than the team. don’t get attached.

Clover’s absence from the team begins in late season 7, which means all that shiny varnish is stripped from Atlas at the same time it’s stripped from the AceOps. it turns out that the law isn’t always right, it turns out it’s super easy to turn “the needs of the many” into “the needs of the few who have many,” and it turns out once you go even a single inch past their facade the “best Huntsmen in Atlas” are conflicted, directionless, and squabble like children. they have a better showing against Penny this season, but their continued dynamic shows that fault lines--particularly between Marrow and Harriet--are reaching crisis. The AceOps model is unsustainable, in the same way that all of Atlas is ultimately unsustainable.

then Ironwood puts Winter in charge, and at first i did think: well, this is probably just to accelerate the inevitable fallout. they are, by their own testimony, emotional strangers to each other, and now some of them disagree on ideological grounds to the point where they can barely stand to be in the same room; slapping an abrasive volatile live wire on top of all that is pouring gasoline on Rome while Rome burns.

but the revelation of Renvision was that they’ve been lying--about HAVING feelings, but also about their feelings with and about each other. moreover: Winter’s own emotions mirror theirs. they’re speaking, in whatever horrifically repressed way, a similar language.

i’m not going to discount the possibility that this kind of ice-water-in-the-face moment might not be enough for some of them; one thing i’ve always respected about RWBY is its unwillingness to flinch away from the idea that sometimes it IS too late for people. but when it comes down to the AceOps, i think the operating question isn’t “will they pick JOYR over setting off the bomb,” because they’re not ready to make that kind of decision together as a team yet. no, the operating question is: if it comes down to one of them, or setting off the bomb, what will they choose?

Clover would set off the bomb, without hesitation or remorse. the mission and protocol HAVE to come first, and in this case there’s a compelling argument that it’s the right call. the team under Clover would have followed suit. the team without Clover would have likely done the same.

the team under Winter...

well, the thing about Winter is that she’s NOT Clover. not a perfect soldier, but--let’s stick with “not a perfect soldier.” she cannot lead in the same way Clover did, with that infuriating mixture of self-assurance and personal charisma, but i don’t think she thinks of herself as any less in command, which means that for the time being, the AceOps are her team. i can’t be certain what Winter would choose in this situation--whether her personal feelings can win out against years of consequentialist thinking--but i do feel fairly confident in saying that she’d be more willing to sacrifice HERSELF in order to choose both.

and in this crucial moment where the AceOps are forced to re-evaluate how they feel about each other, and the team, that might count for something.

so tl;dr #1: the AceOps find a team identity separate from the Atlesian structure. whether they defect to the RIGHT people, or survive defection, and whether Winter counts narratively as one of the AceOps by that point, i’m less sure about, but a cursory stab in the dark would be: yes, not all of them, and no.

The Return

how much do the writers care about the Winter-Ironwood dynamic? probably less than i do, but i also care more than any human should be permitted to under the law, especially since people have moved onto speculating about all the hot NEW abusers she could have in her life. whatever--it is something that needs closure, and i think the writers know that. my preference is still that they confront each other in person, at Atlas Academy (Qrow having fucked off via either healthy decision making or force). if this does happen, i don’t think there’s any chance that both of them will make it out alive; Winter would ONLY confront Ironwood if she’s forced to--either by him or other forces--and both of them are too rigid with themselves and with each other to offer any kind of give, or forgiveness.

that’s what i’d prefer, but it no longer seems the most likely option; Winter clearly has no plans to make it back, and the queue for “people who want to slug it out with DILF Jimmy” just keeps getting longer. it’s possible that they’ll end on the same personal-impersonal teeter-totter which they’ve always resided, where they’re just voices in each other’s earpieces, and she’s giving him a report, and he is issuing her orders.

there’s a way to make that meaningful, though: Winter HAS just disobeyed an explicit order--the first she’s done when she fully had the capacity to carry it out. her own treasons are piling up, and it’s a secret that he should know, for plot and character reasons. the obvious choice among the AceOps to tattle is Harriet, but i also think there’s a nonzero chance that, if asked, Winter herself will tell him. for all her flaws, i do think Winter is capable of owning up to her decisions (it’d make a nice parallel with Yang telling Ironwood about what she and Blake did during Gravity, but that’s neither here nor there), but even more importantly...i think she’d tell him because she wants to be reassured. that she did the right thing, but also that they’re still on the same page, and that he’s still the same person he always was, with her.

he won’t reassure her, of course. especially after he finds out that she disobeyed him for Ozpin. she’ll have no one left.

tl;dr #2: Winter and Ironwood have to reach some kind of End by the finale. whether it’s with a bang or a whimper i’m again less certain of, but if it DOES end with a bang one of them will die, and it’s going to be Ironwood.

Winter Alone

i, like many others, assumed going into the season that Winter’s core dilemma would be something like “her family or her family,” meaning: her sisters or her (adoptive) father. but i think as far as the show’s concerned that conflict was resolved when she let them go in The Enemy of Trust, and it’s not worth re-litigating. since the season started she’s just missed Weiss and/or Penny TWICE by narrative contrivance--during the Amity heist, and the abortive recovery mission--and she’s been sent away from Ironwood. it’s increasingly looking to me like Winter and Weiss will not talk to each other at ALL this season (do they have Scroll reception in the whale? i guess they must if Watts talked to Tyrian), or at most will only catch a tantalizing glimpse of each other before being whisked away again. all of this points to the issue not being “whose side will Winter choose,” but “what kind of person IS Winter, when she doesn’t have anyone else’s ideology to fall back upon?”

which is very exciting to me! the What You Are in the Dark trope is an obvious staple, but i’m especially a sucker for it when it happens to characters like Winter, who lucked out in the sense that their more selfish motivations (protecting herself from Dad) have never quite conflicted with doing Good (protecting other people). the cognitive dissonance for that with Winter has already been played up to the max, so for it to come to a crisis for her, at a point when EVERYONE WHOSE OPINION SHE CARES ABOUT HAS ALREADY FUCKED OFF, is just great drama. it’s made all the better by the fact that RWBY specifically has a lot of villains whose backstories involve them being put in a similar situation, and choosing wrong: Adam chose spite. Raven chose cowardice. getting to see someone make that choice in the story proper, then, adds to and complicates what RWBY has to say the conditions of possibility for heroism and villainy.

furthermore, and this might be where my biases become delusions: that Winter is being maneuvered to make these decisions for herself, BY herself, points to the possibility that she might be graduating from a mostly region-locked character (Ilia, the Belladonnas, Beacon staff and students) to full-on supporting cast (TRQ, Maria, the villains). if Weiss and/or Penny reach out to Winter in a climactic confrontation this season, then the story isn’t NOT about Winter, but it would place more emphasis on Weiss and/or Penny, as main cast members, and their ability to save a person they love. but if their relationships are given more space and time for breathe (or fester!)--if Winter gets to change away from Weiss in the way that Weiss changed and grew away from Winter in Mistral, for example--then it points to a greater parity in terms of their mutual importance in the story.

tl;dr #3: Schneester Bowl might have to wait at least another season, because Winter’s too busy trying out independent thinking. now, whether Winter will make the RIGHT choice, or the story will LET her make that call after she’s decided...

2Defect2Salem

i actually touched on this before, so tl;dr #4.1: i do not find the ways that people talk about HOW Salem gets Winter to defect to be very convincing. the idea that Salem could easily manipulate Winter because they have similar backstories makes me...tilt my head, but i think that’s more due to my personal belief that people who are similar in those ways actually tend to be each other’s blind spots (i also think this about Blake and Winter, FWIW). more to the point: my personal reading of Winter locates a streak buried deep within that is unyieldingly CATEGORICAL. despite being embedded within Atlesian rationality, despite her mentor being James Ironwood, there is something in Winter that instinctively judges an immediate instance to be right or wrong, and she’s never been able to suppress that all the way.

and with that in mind, i genuinely don’t think Winter is enough of a long-term, big picture thinker to give herself over to despair for Atlas as a whole. oh, we see her parrot “for the good of all, not just a few” just fine, but if she was already having trouble internalizing that when it was coming from IRONWOOD, a man she loves and trusts, then why would Salem--a person she is predisposed to distrust--be better at convincing her that the ends justify the means? why would she believe that submission is preferable to extinction from someone that EVERYONE SHE KNOWS considers an enemy? it’s hard for me to conceive of a Winter who, perched at the lip of the despair event horizon, will a) think enough of herself to make a decision for everyone and b) accept that the decision is imperfect and compromise, when she could just do what soldiers do, what she’s been asked to do, and die for an impossible cause.

(also not to belabor the point, but: ...how is she supposed to deliver Atlas to Salem? are we assuming that the Atlas Military works via Klingon Promotion, or that Ironwood gave her all his passwords?)

this is not to say that i think Winter will completely no-sell Salem (though that would be VERY funny). assuming that she and Salem do end up in the same room (which is still up in the air), i can easily picture a scenario where Salem manipulates Winter into making a bad decision (though honestly, Winter’s been doing just fine with that all on her own), but the distance between “a bad decision” and “a decision that she knows will help the Big Bad” is still quite far. i can similarly picture a scenario where Salem gradually sways Winter--not a single Anakin-style dramatic reversal, but an Atris-style descent-by-inches, through a million little non-choices--but that’s the thing: manipulation takes TIME, no matter how good at it you are, and we’re running up against the fact that the season ends in 6 episodes, and Winter is only one of about a trillion dangling threads.

tl;dr #4.2: the only way i can see Winter defecting to Salem THIS SEASON, then, is if it’s not her choice at all. for me, this makes the most thematic sense--that she’s been playing keep-away so long with her own agency, and Salem ends up resolving the issue by taking it away from her completely. that she wants so much to be sure she’s making the right choice, or to not have to make the call, and Salem gives her exactly what she wants. she’ll never have to think for herself again. we know Salem is capable of something like that, because we’ve just seen the Hound. Winter won’t be another Hound, if only because churning out the same horror will only yield diminishing returns, but she might be...something else.

regardless, tl;dr #4.3: if “Winter defecting to Salem” shakes down in any way--either as originally posited or as i just described--it would be an FANTASTIC story and character engine. i’ve already talked about the potential conflict this could create within Team RWBY, but like...imagine Weiss talking to ANYONE about her sister. imagine Weiss talking to Emerald, who would have just joined the heroes, whose decision to cut herself off from Cinder would feel like a portent. imagine Winter with the villains! not just Salem, but Cinder! imagine the subtextual parallels between the two becoming TEXT. imagine the two of them having to work together! imagine how Cinder would feel to lose Emerald and get Winter. imagine how Mercury would feel! can you imagine Winter and Mercury bonding over their daddy issues?? because i can’t! but i wanna. my love for Winter isn’t contingent on her making the right choices, but on her getting the right material. this would not only be the right material, but A LOT OF IT, and if the writers do choose to go in this direction, i trust them enough to be excited about where it might go.

[gordvendomewhore]

Hey could do some headcanons for Bif Taylor? It can be about dating or just general stuff about him thank you

hey anon!!! thank you so so much for sending this request in! it was lots of fun to work on this lmao i LOVEEE bif and had to hold myself back from making this TOO long haha

also, i’m SO sorry it’s taken forever to finish this omg, my mini hiatus was not planned at all, but i’m back now!

i did a mix of regular headcanons and dating headcanons so i hope that everything is satisfactory :))

with the dating ones, i tried to make them realistic because well,, yknow relationships aren’t all sunshine and rainbows

but yes!!! i hope you enjoy reading this <333

bif headcanons

bif used to be TINY.

he was pea sized, a child, a BABY, he could snap him like a twig if the wind blew too hard

but yeah he was short lol

derby was taller than him for the majority of their childhood, and 100% used it to tease bif lmao

but in eighth grade, bif grew so much that he was basically,,, unrecognizable.

i like this headcanon a lot, like A LOT, but honestly i also really like imagining that bif was always just naturally tall yknow??

but bif being short as a kid is more close to canon since bif has a voice line referring to his height haha

other than derby, i think that bif is closest with chad and bryce

they all bond quite well over boxing, especially since these three are more dedicated to the sport compared to the other preps (at least in my opinion 😳)

i also think that,,, in a weird way, they’re the most “grounded” preps? like they’re all still stuck up and narcissistic, but to a slightly lesser degree than the others

they’re just,,,chill. you know?

it’s more in their personality and attitude rather than their morals lmao

bif knows basic bartending

as a kid he had tons of time on his hands; all rich kids do, despite having endless amounts of money for any piece of entertainment they could ever desire

but i guess when you have everything you could ever want, it all loses value, yeah?

so yeah, he fucked around in his father’s bar, and learned a few things along the way

it’s not really a useful skill to have, since bif is obviously never going to have a career as a bartender and since he also has servants to make drinks for him

but it’s something that gets him further on derby’s good side

yknow, since bif is basically just derby’s piss bitch

dating headcanons

god pwease forgive me for these shitty HCs

bif is the PERFECT person to share a bed with during winter. he’s nothing but pure muscle mass, so cuddling with bif basically means you get your own personal heater LMAO

but,,,, pray for yourself during summer.

bif is the type of guy who’d pull out the fisticuffs when his s/o were hurt, even if there wasn’t any person who specifically hurt his partner (like if they had just tripped over a rock lol)

now, this can be attractive feature because wow!!1!1! big strong man protecting me and being BUFF!!1!1!!1!

but please, unnecessary violence is not cute and honestly very toxic in real life

examples include: BOTH edward and jacob from twilight, noah flynn from the kissing booth, hardin scott from after, and christian grey from 50 shades of grey

psssst, spoiler alert! all of those fictional love interests are incredibly toxic

(and overall horribly written and underdeveloped but everyone already knows that)

i’m just including this because one, it’s bully and literally EVERYONE fights, and two, because it’s in character for bif, whether or not it’s a conventional trait to have

he would just,,, loom over you

tbh i don’t think bif is the touchy feely type, even though it would be cute sigh

hmm i don’t think ANY of the preps are considering their upbringing and personalities as a whole (maybe with the exception of one or two but i’ll talk about that more another day lol)

so i can’t see bif constantly being all touchy, or initiating physical intimacy with his s/o a lot

but he has those body guard tendencies baybee, so he’ll always be at your side giving you company and sending deadly glares to anyone looking your way 😎

but despite this last point, if your love language has to do with physical affection, he’ll be happy to provide!!

you just gotta understand that,,, it’s not exactly his thing

his love language, along with most likely ALL the preps, is gift giving!

he was raised to believe that giving gifts was the key way of showing your appreciation for someone’s value in your life, so bet your ASS he’s spending money on you

and that’s it!! thank you for reading and im SO sorry this is so long omg i currently don’t have access to a computer so i can’t add a read more!

feel free to send any requests you have 💕💕

[i-am-just-a-kiddo]

2020 content creator review

i was tagged by @vishcount as usual, thank you  💕  i answered the questions below the cut, and everyone that is tagged is there too, if you just wanna skip my ramblings and go straight down there.  (also gosh i hope all the links work rip)

1. first creation and most recent creation of 2020: 

this lan wangji oneshot, apparently. i can’t remember when i actually wrote it, but my ao3 tells me i posted it in january 2020. i remember i just wanted to explore lwj’s time of mourning and dive into his mind of that time, even if it made me eternally sad?

my most recent 2020 creation that is public, is the second chapter to this casmund/edmund character study fic i started writing in 2016. i did not expect to return to that but rewatching the narnia movies did that to me. i guess it’s one of those ever-returning fandoms

2. one of your favorite creations from 2020: 

my niemo (nie huaisang/mo xuanyu) fic, no question. diving into this, i fully knew that this pairing probably has a tiny audience and honestly, i did not expect to churn out 30k for them. god. am still suffering because why the fuck did i do that to myself (and everyone reading). thank you vishie for standing by me all the time.

3. a new style you tried this year and a gifset edit that uses it: 

my historical taegi AU set in silla korea - i don’t think it’s actually a new style writing-wise, but it was an entirely different process of creating. i did a week of only research, diving into amounts of academic texts and sources to figure out my frame and setting. it was so much fun and in the end, with everything i learned, it felt like the fic was only just the ‘by-product’ of my research. though i must say, writing the story itself was challenging in a very different way, by that i mean that the characters made me furious and yet i had to write it like that cause i like to suffer :) 

as for gifset, am not sure? i can’t think of any so i am just linking the daechwita mv cause it’s iconic. i guess this mv is more joseon inspired, while my setting was silla somewhere between the end of 7th and beginning of 8th century; but it was the final straw to finally make me write that historical taegi au i always wanted to write with hwarang tae. also this mv inspired me to have yoongi as a tyrannical king cause why not amirite?

4. a creation to be proud of: 

my wei wuxian oneshot during burial mounds; i had a lot of fun writing him and projecting all my nightmares onto him. i went in without a plan and ended up with something i am actually quite proud of? it gave me so much space and room to just...pour out my words and not worry too much about anything else. 

5. a creation that took forever: 

my post-canon wangxian adventure or qinghe chaos, as i lovingly call it. i think i started writing it in november 2019? not entirely sure about that, i only know it took ages. i wanted to create a whole new political environment, as it takes place somewhere around 70 years after canon (they wanna be immortal, shut up) and it was fun thinking of new challenges and new obstacles that face the new generation of cultivators. unfortunately i did not have the capacity to write a full blown political conflict. that’s why i never really incorporated all my thoughts into the story itself, but hey, if anyone has questions i have notes (and vishie, once again, is the most blessed person to plot with me, ily)

6. your creation from 2020 that received the most notes: 

am gonna measure this by kudos on ao3 in that case, which would be the aforementioned lwj oneshot Cold Moon, Long Nights Moon. I feel incredibly fond of it and i’m really happy that people liked it. it feels special somehow and i just want to thank everyone who read that and liked it.

7. a creation you think deserved more notes: 

oh i wrote many fics that year for smaller fandoms, which makes me grateful for every single feedback i received. i think i had hoped my previously mentioned historical AU would receive more, but it’s okay because i still loved it. 

another one is this princess sook myung/ah roh fic that i wrote for my ‘make hwarang gay again’ series. i finally finished this show and it furstrated me so much - the gay potential that went to waste, the horrendous writing for female characters. i liked the chemistry between ah roh and the princess, and yes i get it, it’s a rare pair and this fandom is kinda dead, but. the girls deserve their shine and love (though still, i am grateful for every single kudos i receive and i am still proud of it)

8. a new fandom you joined and a creation you made for it: 

i joined many new fandoms this year for which i wrote, but i want to mention my shang xirui character study for winter begonia, because it was very interesting to explore that? and i had fun too, it was one of the first things i properly wrote after my hiatus, so i felt quite proud. also once again, this fandom has way too little content and the show is underrated. 

9. a creation you made that breaks your heart: 

i wanna mention two here. first is this wen ning & song lan oneshot that was a pure joy and also very sad to write. i just love these two so much, and i love them together even more. i have many thoughts how much comfort they could give each other and believe me, i have many more that i want to explore in the future. 

the second one is the mu nihuang & xiao jingyan oneshot i wrote for the nirvana in fire gift exchange 2020. it broke my heart, but at the same time it felt like something was healing too? it hurt at the pain both characters go through, but i also felt fond that maybe, they were not alone.

10. a ‘simple’ creation that you really love: 

hmm there are a few, i mostly want to mention my fei liu character study? it has no plot or anything, it is just an exploration of his mind and thoughts, which was an absolute joy to write and somehow so easy. 

i also quite like the yyy series i started - maybe i can write more for these two because they somehow give me the feels.

11. a favorite creation created by someone else: 

alright here we go folks:

first i want to mention my dearest @vishcount because newsflash!!! i am the biggest fan. of course i need to mention your wondeful, stunning, breathtaking masterpiece that is your xicheng novel (and yes it is a novel, i say so). it is still ongoing and you started it in 2019, but i need to mention it here because it truly is something that is lifechanging. i feel so blessed that i get the front seats and vip access to all the updates, to all your thoughts and ideas. you go through a lot with it and i am never not proud of you ❤️ another one i want to mention is this wei wuxian & mo xuanyu oneshot you wrote for me because i am still crying about it. i have no words.  honourable mentions: your easter islanders (lan wangji and jiang cheng) and this xicheng soulmate au 

another creator i want to mention is @the-cloud-whisperer and their nirvana in fire fic Heroic Woman（烈婦） , which is absolutely wonderful.  i found you through your ATLA fics (which i adore) and saw you posting about nirvana in fire and this year, finally, i watched the show and was blown away. i love your other NIF fics too, but this one feels very special because i always thought li yang’s character was so incredibly fascinating. thank you for writing this 💕

for more other creations just look at my bookmarks on ao3, there is the untamed, nirvana in fire, yyy the series, hwarang, winter begonia and original sin (from 2020 and many more if you scroll further) please give everyone i mentioned love!!!!!

12. your favorite content creators and blogs that you appreciate: 

oh boy here we go. once again @vishcount, @the-cloud-whisperer, @intyalote, @sassyassassy, @isabellaofparma, @passionpeachy, @finny-red, @guzhuangheaven  @honeyiling, @holmesandwhatson  @bloody-bee-tea, @leoyunxi, @gusucloud, @ohsehuns and many many more that must slip my mind.

all of you, consider yourself tagged in this game and even if we never spoke to each other, i greatly appreciate all of you and i want to give some love. if you feel like doing this, i hope you can have fun!  💕

[shadows-twilight]

RWBY Volume 8 Chapter 6

My various thoughts and opinions on Chapter 6 of RWBY Volume 8, “Midnight”

SPOILERS BELOW:

Oh wow, getting straight into the backstory, I see, I can dig it.

The rythmetic cycle of Cinder’s scrubbing, Cinder getting beat up, and the Madame’s heels is quite the effective opening. Tells us right from the start the good time we will not be having.

Yes, yes, you made the Rooster on the wind vane the same as the Rooster Teeth logo. Don’t worry, we noticed.

So Cinder did indeed grow up in Atlas. I must say, that is one fancy hotel. Clearly the kind of place that only the richest and scummiest attend.

I wonder what the societal implications are that the decorations of this lobby are almost exclusively Grimm. I almost want to say that it’s a sign of just how removed from real-world problem the patrons are here, that these beasts of nightmares and despair are nothing but novelties to them, that they see them as interesting rather than fearing them, but later we see a huntsman here, so I’m not so sure.

God, how mistreated was Cinder before she even came here? That “Food?” line just broke my heart.

NEW SONG!!!

Damn, why do they have to give all of these one-off backstory characters such wonderful designs? This Rhodes guy looks awesome!

So the thing that triggered Cinder’s semblance was intense anger. That tracks.

Jesus Christ, the Madame has a literal shock collar on her? I’d ask how this kind of thing was legal, but then this is the same kingdom where Jacques was able to operate his slave-like business practices with impunity, so I guess I’m not too surprised.

Wait, the “without you” mantra was forced upon her BEFORE Salem? That just got even darker.

Metal skin, huh? Rhodes’s rocking that Ultimate Shield, me likey

Ok, I think I see what Rhodes was trying to do with Cinder here. I can’t say I agree with it, he definitely should have just said “Hey kid, I’m just gonna take that inhumane piece of garbage off your neck and get you the hell out of here, okay?” but think I understand his thought process. As we established earlier, this arrangement between the Madame and Cinder is legal. It isn’t right, and it’s the farthest thing from kind, but it is legal. Cinder is just a ten year old girl, and the Madame is her legal guardian. That means if she were to run, she’d be a runaway, and if Rhodes were to take her, he’d be a kidnapper. They’d have to spend the rest of their lives on the run, even moreso if Cinder had hurt them. Alternatively, she could grin and bear it until she was old enough to get out legally, allowing her to be truly free. The problem is that she would have to grin and bear it for SEVEN YEARS, during her frikkin’ FORMATIVE YEARS! What’s more, while he was there to give her companionship and hope for the future, he got to come and go at his leisure, and probably be gone for extended periods of time (I’m assuming he still performed his Huntsman duties during this time) while she was stuck in the same traumatic, abusive environment 24/7. I understand where his mindspace was, but he did not think this through.

I’m mildly disappointed that the weapon he gifted her wasn’t Midnight. It would have made her destroying it in Volume 3 take on a much greater meaning. Also slightly disappointed that Cinder is indeed her real name. I guess she simply chose the Fall part.

Yeah, I’m not going to spare much sympathy for those bitches. I mean, one could argue that this was straight up self defense (at least with the Madame), and while I know the stock lessons from these shows is “no one deserves death” and “revenge blackens the soul” and yada yada yada, defending abusers isn’t exactly a hill I’m gonna fight on.

That being said, carrying on from my word vomit above, I understand Rhodes’s reaction as well, even if I don’t agree with it. While we can make the argument for abuse and self defense, an yada yada, we also know that in the eyes of the law, this was a cold-blooded murder, and Rhodes clearly seems to be the kind of huntsman that sees it as his duty to uphold the law. Even if he didn’t, and he let her go now or helped her run, they’d be once again in the situation he was trying to avoid, on the run. Personally, I say worth it, and if he had managed to get her to Vale, Ozpin probably would have been understanding enough to help her out, but that’s my opinion.

Oh shit, it’s an Ok Goodnight song. ... OH SHIT IT’S AN OK GOODNIGHT SONG! THAT IS AWESOME!!! Nice choice of song, too, the lyrics work very well for this scenario and Cinder’s story.

I find it incredibly sad that Rhodes immediately stopped fighting the moment Cinder’s aura broke, and even after she stabs him, all he does is give her the same headpat gesture he did earlier. For all his aforementioned faults, he really did care.

I will echo a statement I made towards Adam when we learned about his scar. I sympathize for the girl who went through all of that abuse, she didn’t deserve it. I spare none for the woman she grew into.

And we’re back in the present where we see that modern Cinder is still a sore loser and Emerald is still an overly dependent yes-woman. I feel for her sometimes.

Anyone who watched Infinity Train, is Mercury’s behavior reminding anyone else of Simon? I’m getting some serious Simon vibes from that smugness.

Oscar’s more of a clever little boy than many might have given him credit for. He’s here getting the ass whoopin’ of his life, and he’s strategizing ways to turn them against each other. Far more than just a farmhand, now.

Oh boy, Hypocrite Hazel strikes again! “You let him suffer!” Quite the riot coming from the guy dishing out the suffering.

Ooh, is that...doubt...I saw in Hazel’s eyes? All this time I figured he was so tunnel visioned by his quest for vengeance that he simply didn’t care who he served, but it turns out he’s just following the same logic Roman and Lionheart did. We can’t stop her, so we may as well help her. I wonder if Hazel’s mind might be changed if he knew what the relics really did. Sadly, Salem knew what was up and said NOPE to that train of thought. For now.

I almost want to say it was a little too on the nose for them to flashback to Cinder getting shock collared as Salem hurt her through the Grimm arm, but for some reason it really worked here.

Dear god, can you get even more manipulative than what Salem’s doing right here? Talking about giving Cinder what she wants when it’s convenient for her RIGHT AFTER TORTURING HER!? Cinder really did trade out one abusive step-mother for another, didn’t she?

I’m sorry, Elm, did you just refer to Penny as broken junk? I’mma be honest, the list of Ace-Ops I’m hoping to see survive this is really starting to dwindle. At least Winter’s not having any of it.

Wow, Harriet. You just got informed that there is a massive river of Grimm heading straight for your kingdom, and your first move is to start the blame game. How were we ever fans of these assholes?

The river is now a geyser. What a fun day.

Wow, those defenses didn’t hold for shit, did they? Good thing there’s all those ships are there for extra defense. I’m sure they’ll be helping out any second now. Any...second...

I don’t know if the middle of farmland is the most courteous place to park your world destroying god whale, but at least it’s out of the way.

God, if this is the note they’re leaving us on for the penultimate episode before the hiatus, what the hell are they leaving us with next week? For once, I’m almost glad for the week-long wait in between episodes. We need time breathe at some point!

[arrghigiveup]

Disney characters singing in their native (or close to native) language.

Putting the extensive notes from the vid editor under the cut:

Background information about the characters:

DISCLAIMER Since many of these heroes belong to movies which involve characters included in the official Disney Princesses franchise, they all have an official time and location provided by Disney itself. So, most of the information gathered regarding these characters comes from this official source, find here a video showing the pages of a book from the franchise, where time and location are displayed: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yVhXIAhol_w&feature=youtu.be However, in a couple of instances (namely Aladdin and Maui), I didn’t follow the official statement, because directors had given different or more specific indications, and since directors are the ones who shape the environment of a movie, I decided to give priority to their word instead. And yes, animals DO speak languages, because we are all Disney nerds and we all love a talking animal.

Simba voiced by Ayanda Nhlangothi When “The Lion King” was released in 1994, a special Zulu dubbing was made on that occasion: it is the first and only Zulu dubbing made by Disney, as well as the only dubbing in any language spoken in Africa (other than Arabic), not to mention, the language sung by Lebo M. during the song “Circle of Life”. For this reason, Zulu is the only language that can be chosen for Simba. Given the impossibility to determine when the story takes place, I decided to put Simba first in this video. Full song: https://youtu.be/6PQJcvMRYQo

Hercules voiced by Διονύσης Σχοινάς | Dionísis Shinás While the movie gives us a clear location (Thebes), establishing the exact point in time is a bit complicated. The story takes place during the so-called Greek Heroic Age, which spans roughly from 15th to 9th century BCE. It’s Herodotus to place the myth of Hercules in 1300 BCE. Full song: https://youtu.be/4zk_dcwdoSE?t=7

Maui voiced by Piripi Taylor (Māori) & Elijah Kaʻikena Scanlan (Hawaiian) Official franchise places the story between 100 BCE and 100 CE. However, according to directors Clements and Musker, the movie gives a fantastic explanation to the causes and conclusion of the hiatus Polynesian people took from voyaging for still foggy reasons, which occurred about 3500 years ago and ended a thousand years later. We can therefore assume that the story takes place more or less 2500 years ago. The languages used in the video are two, but they actually represent one sole language: Proto-Polynesian, the common ancestor to all Polynesian languages, which subsequently spread and diversified across the Polynesian triangle. The story takes place somewhere in it, maybe even across the whole area. A Tahitian version of the movie also exists and was supposed to be featured in the video, but to this day, no high-quality audio in said language is available anywhere. Find here a LQ audio of the Tahitian version: https://youtu.be/hJRu1cfQLlc?t=31 Full Māori song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyiTbbDGKLA Full Hawaiian song: https://youtu.be/wJ02M64p67Y

Shang voiced by 成龙 | Jackie Chan Official sources place the story between 206 BCE (beginning of Han dynasty) to 900 CE (end of Tang dynasty). I chose to reduce the interval to Han dynasty alone, as Xiongnu invasions (here identified as Huns, although a connection between these two populations is still debated) happened mostly during this dynasty. Several anachronisms can be easily spotted along the movie: the capital city is clearly the Forbidden City, which was built only in the 15th century, while fireworks were invented c. 8/9th century. Full song: https://youtu.be/w2Fox6v-L8k

Arthur voiced by Rickie Sorensen, Richard Reitherman, or Robert Reitherman The hypothetic historical figure of Wart King Arthur is believed to have lived between the 5th and 6th century. Since he is a child in the movie, 5th for the win.

Aladdin voiced by هشام نور | Hisham Nour I kept the time-lapse given by official franchise, but I decided not to go with the official given setting (Iran) for two reasons: 1. The movie opens with a song titled “Arabian Nights”, quoting the most notorious English title given to the collection “One Thousand and One Nights”, while Iran is not part of the Arab world (official language: Persian). 2. According to its filmmakers, the story was heavily influenced by the 1940 movie “The Thief of Bagdad”, and it was originally meant to take place in the same city, when the Gulf War burst out and directors were forced to change the setting: https://www.eonline.com/news/706200/disney-myths-debunked-by-ron-clements-and-john-musker-directors-of-the-little-mermaid-aladdin-and-hercules The name “Agrabah” itself was made up by Musker, playing with the name “Baghdad”. Note: the dubbing used is in Egyptian Arabic because it's the only official Disney dubbing in Arabic (like the vast majority of Disney movies). Full song: https://youtu.be/tu3Uw1jYURQ

Phillip voiced by Olivier Constantin (1981 redub) The movie gives us a clear century: 14th. As for the location, the official franchise provides a generic “Western Europe”, though the location seems to fall somewhere in France or Belgium, probably in the region of Wallonia, so the French-speaking part. Full song: https://youtu.be/grJMal8W6z8

Quasimodo voiced by Francis Lalanne Place and date are clearly specified: the story starts in Paris on the day of “la fête des fous” (January 6th) and ends two days later. The year is specified in Victor Hugo’s book. Full song: https://youtu.be/qkkprH_AO7w

Florian (Snow White’s prince) voiced by Rolf Dieter Heinrich (1994 redub) Both date and setting are provided by the official franchise. Full song: https://youtu.be/aJ5JxmMymY4

John Smith voiced by Mel Gibson “In 1607, we sail the open sea For glory, God, and gold And The Virginia Company” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ne2tzfxQ6T4

Eugene voiced by Manuel Straube Both period and location are provided by the official franchise. But while the given time is pretty clear (1650-1815), figuring out the where is a bit more problematic. The location might be somewhere between Austria, Czech Republic or Slovakia. I went with German both considering the original fairytale and because, looking closely at the map, Austria looks to me like the most likely option out of the three. Full song: https://youtu.be/sxceCV0AFEs

The Beast voiced by Emmanuel Jacomy The location is pretty clear, and it was confirmed that the story takes place in 18th century: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-I6zBWitMh4 Full song: https://youtu.be/B-GHq2xrLTE

Mowgli voice-actor unknown The period given is Kipling’s time, while for the language, even though several languages are spoken in India, I picked the one from which many of the characters’ names come: Hindi. e.g. भालू (“bhālū”) meaning “bear”, शेर (“śer”) meaning “tiger”, अकेला (“akelā”) meaning “alone”. Full song: https://youtu.be/k90yDFh7Ihs

Henri (Cinderella’s prince) voiced by Michel Chevalier (1991 redub) All names of the girls announced at the ball are French and they’re addressed as “mademoiselle”, which confirms the location provided by the official franchise, which is also the source of the time. Full song: https://youtu.be/U1ExXZ4-R5g

Kristoff voiced by Vegard Bjørsmo If we want to trust the map popping up at the end of Frozen Fever, Anna’s next birthday after the events of the first movie was in June 1840 (directors confirmed that Elsa and Anna were born on winter and summer solstice respectively). Since Oaken informs us that Frozen takes place in July, 1840 must be the year after those events, while Frozen 2 takes place three years later, in 1842. Like the Northuldra people in the sequel, Kristoff is a Sami, although he comes from a different tribe. While he can probably speak fluent Norwegian, his native language is doubtlessly Sámi. Full song: https://youtu.be/ugRKi0uGp-Y

Pinocchio voiced by Corrado Pani? Once again, time and place of the original story are the best source we were given. Full song: https://youtu.be/Y6cS3jMjSMY

Naveen voiced by Bruno Campos A newspaper during “Down in New Orleans” reads: “New Orleans, Louisiana, Friday, April, 25, 1926” (though April 25 was actually on a Sunday in 1926).

Dimitri voiced by Сергей Вещёв | Sergey Veshchov Tsar Nicholas II Romanov and his family were arrested on March 22, 1917, following the events of the first Russian Revolution occurred during that year (February Revolution). They will be executed on July 18, 1918. However, the movie uses even a song to let us know that prior events take place in December, month on which, in 1916, Grigori Rasputin was assassinated. As the movie takes place ten years after those events, we can probably count them starting from December 1916, instead of 1917, hence: December 1926. Dimitri is included in this video because 20th Century Fox was purchased by Disney on March 2019, and now on Disney+ the movie is included in the “Princesses” category. On a side note: Saint Petersburg was called Leningrad from 1924 to 1991. Full song: https://youtu.be/3EUdXMi1rkA

Miguel voiced by Luis Ángel Gómez Jaramillo The story takes place in present days (2017 was its release date) in an imaginary town in Mexico. Full song: https://youtu.be/oLrg2zA3poA

Dubbers credits: https://disneyinternationaldubbings.weebly.com/heroes.html

[huntsman-ash]

RWBY LiveThoughts: V8E7

Since I finally have time for it today, lets make sure Im all caught up for the hiatus. 

Before we get fully started, an idea; Its not a war crime if they’re Grimm. Then its just self defense. So break out the napalm, the cluster bombs, the chemical weapons, the fun stuff. Make em regret it, yeah?

And we start off...on a farm. Looks like my moms old farm in South Dakota. Even on Remnant, hay is best used in bales.

Waiiiit. Thats the place the Whale set down isnt it. I see a Sayber running. Ah, and the Atlas military! Surely, the vanguard of a massive force to hold the line! Also Im glad to see a close up of the helmet for once, I want to make my own. Also, the gloves, and the rifle itself. Not sure why it doesnt have a stock, seems kind of silly...

And airships too, so they got some fire support...whats that wall behind them though?

Also it TOOK US 8 FUCKING SEASONS to get a close up of these FUCKING Weapons. 8. FUCKING. SEASONS. Okay maybe more like 5 cause they didnt first appear till 3 or so but come on. Im so picking this shit apart later. 

Pfft, bros got some nerves going on. Come on man, its just some Grimm, you’ll be FINE.

Atlas field harvesters resemble Halo’s JOTUN Farming equipment. As wel as our own. No surprise there.

Alright, bunch of Saybers, not seeing much of a threat here.

Hey, Paladins! Damn, they...look way different than I remember them to be. 

I wont lie, I dont like the Paladin design. Way to much visual noise, I cant tell where anything IS. 

Also that is the most 2D grass I have sever seen in my fucking life. What the hell are they growing here...

Huh, the whale has two sets of teeth. Wait, its just there? And its wpewing out Grimm. So...why isnt the air force firing on it? 

Yeah its not moving, its just raising its head and slamming down and vomiting out more Grimm. Im not sure what the issue is here, just...seal the mouth. 

Oh, huh. Apathys. Let me guess, RTs gonna try and tell us depression is going to kill most of Atlas. Oh for fuck sake. IM NOT IMPRESSED RT. IM REALLY NOT. IM MORE FUCKING ANNOYED THAN ANYTHING

Okay so...I see what this is. Its farm land outside of atlas proper and there’s an additional wall behind them, plus the power lines I guess? Seems like a viable place to make a stand. 

...thats it. Please tell me this is just a single detachment of the Atlas military because there is less firepower here than a NATIONAL GUARD UNIT ASSIGNED TO ONE CITY

Im fairly certain there are more people assigned to ONE UNIT attached to JBLM then I amm seeing here. 

Not to mention this is an OPEN FIELD the Grimm have to run through. This is a literall fucking TURKEY SHOOT. Running across an open field anywhere is a ticket to DYING.

Just ask the poor fucks on D-day.

Also uh...why is everyone in line formation? What is this, fuckin’ 18009s combat Napoleon style?

And did the distance suddenly change, I feel like the whale suddenly got a hell of a lot closer.

Just...I dont get this. This makes no sense. Did Ironwood learn how to deploy forces from a fairy tale book? This is legitimately some fuckin Lord of the Rings shit here.

RIP that one specific trooper hit by that Behemoth though. Dont worry friend, the thing walked next to a Paladin. Its getting its eye blasted out

And cut back to Ironwood. Doing...fuck if I know what.

Staring angrily it seems.

“Dammit, my tactical deployment by line formation and parade ground tactics isnt holding back the Grimm, curses!”

Well MAYBE IF YOUD THOUGHT TO INVEST IN SOME FUCKING AIR SUPPORT...Seriously.

I know people have told me why this is. I understand myself why this is. But it really just...does...not...jibe with me. At all. 

Okay so more details; first, apparently Atlas has a subway. Makes sense, its a big island. Inter-system transits probably a given. Second; Was that Mantis Squad Omega? Some kind of unit maybe...interesting.

 Also I love how this guy just questions Ironwood. Like, bro, if the General says do it, do it.

Hold the fuck up, why is everyone outside? It looks like fuckin’ Cali during our lockdowns...what ever happened to martial law huh?

Also “underground subway stations”. Yes, thats...kind of what a subway IS. I guess maybe they have overhead ones like New York does. Mass transit be weird like that.

I mean HELL the signs on it are almost identical to the ones in NYC too! Even with the colored circles and train cnumbers. 

According to the sign here they’re at Pickens Square Station. 

Oh boy. Ironwood just fed these poor bastards into a meat grinder. Anyone here ever played the Metro game series, or read the books?

Remember the Dark Ones? The Nosallias? Yeah. Tight corridors and monsters only work out well for angry vodka fueled Russians.

Didnt see it very well but I THINK those Mantas had some kind of wing gun. Either thats new, a separate armament setting, or RT forgot what ind of weapons they gave their ships AGAIN.

Cant get the shields back up, yeah, no shit, they DETACHED ONE OF THE FUCKING PILOTS YOU IDIOTS.

Also hah, they arrested Yang, Ren and Jaune. Not surprised.

Beta squads apperently been hitting the whale. ‘Bombs, missiles, we cant make a dent, sir.” ...while Im not surprised by this, I also hear shades of the opening of Halo 2s level Metropolis. “Where’s the rest of your platoon?” “Wasted, sarge. Blew right through us. Rockets, fifty cals, didnt do nothing.”

Honestly they could have SHOWED THAT too. Them just saying it feels like a cop out to me. Take that as you will. But if you want us to see the things hard to kill, show it. 

Not that I figure Atlas’s rockets are much more than Dust in a propellent tank. Not exactly a Hellfire or TOW.

Nice to see proper military talk for...a moment anyway.

Or what I figure RT figures is proper.

Oh so now the whales moving. Okay...huh.

Jaunes commentary is the same as mine. Though I guess the size seems to shift depending.

Ohhh. Its MANTA. As in the gunships. Alright, sure that works. And this guys making a good call. If you cant hit the big one go after the smaller. Of which there seems to be a HELL of a lot. Actually holy fuck that Grimm spew is across like...ahlf the fucking island right now. Time to fuckin torch and burn people.

Ahhhhhh and they get to the proper idea.  If you cant punch it from the outside, hit it from the inside.

I knew a crew...three madmen, names of Keegan, Lahni and Mac. The Hivebusters. Something tells me a Venom bomb would do the trick...if it can rip apart Swarm creatures as big as a Snatcher or a Swarmak and reduce them to green slime, I think it’ll work on Grimm. 

Something tells me RT isnt gonna give em a bomb though. Too obvious.

NEVER MIND. “Science team is putting together a bomb.”

Also I LOVE how Winter’s pupils expand and retract in fear as she realizes what Ironwoods asking her to do.

Awww now shes getting the shakes too.

Salem directing this shit like shes some kind of orchestra leader. I mean it FITS but...I dunno.

Ah so the command deck is directly behind the whale’s glowing nose. Basically inside where the spermacetiy organ would be in a real sperm whale.

What the fuck is Emerald doing there?

Sneaking I guess. Huh. Why’s she sneaking around the whale. Also, huh. guess seeers can get fooled by Emeralds semblance.  Is HE STILL BEATING UP ON OSCAR? Jeez dude. Take a breather.

Honestly if this was TRUE I would be okay with it. Replace the Huntsman with, I dont know, a massively overequipped military for each Kingdom, let them run rampant...stomp the Grimm out or push them back to nonexistence...everyone lives happily ever after

Lets be real here, the idea of the academies? Really really fucking dumb. Its cute. Fairy tale like.

But if theres one thing this show has taught me its that fairy tales SUCK. Reality...tends to be worse.

Ah theres one of those torture hooks they mentioned a few episodes back. Nice of the whale to have a specific interrigation room.

And at last we get some information on how Salem works. Alright so...what happens if you seperate the parts then? Sink one in the ocean, launch one into space.

Sounds like Oz/Oscars telling the fans what we’ve been saying forever, Companion Book be damned; Salem wants to die.

These mind games bore me. Its cute, but I dont like it cause I cant follow that shit. Give me a straight up fight any day, fuck this sublty backroom fuckery

No lies from them both here honestly.

Medical supplies in Atlas seem almost the same as here on earth interestngly. Also, soup. Or...coffee, tea?

Blake with the obvious here. But I mean thats not really saying much cause...well. Not hard to outfight the Atlas military it seems like.  (Long suffering sigh)

Im gonna make a seperate post about my frustrations with that and leave it there. But dont expect me to stop fully complaining about it because everyones gotta have something to bitch about with this show, and I’ll be DAMNED if I start joining the BB whiners.

Good question, Ruby. Might be that YOUR NOT LIVING IN A FAIRY TALE

I’d like to see these people dying in Mantle. I refuse to believe that there isnt SOMEONE in the nation that once brought Remnant to its heel that wont stand and fight. Unless Im wrong about that too...

May backstory? May backstory. Yeah.  Not amazingly complicated but it works. Cant tell if shes Henry though...or was. 

Dramatic lightning flash

Cute you think that Ruby. Theres sides. Always are.

Further proof honestly.

Hazels look of though is amusing. Cant tell if he doesnt believe Oscar, or if his tiny peabrain is runing full bore to think this through.

Coordination between farm boy and professor.

Oh. OHHHH. Plants the seed of doubt in Hazels tiny mind, he uses the last question for himself, sees the truth... Clever, Oscar. Clever.

Hazel peabrain go THUNK

Ah so Mercs going off to Vacuo. Guess that means everyone else is going there next too. Eat that, random Discord person, I called it.

Course, CFVYs there so...maybe we get to see Yats beat up on him.

Oh hi Tyrian. Do you just...randomly roam the halls of the whale waiting to DRAMATICALLY REVEAL YOURSELF and give violent expositon? Im very much okay with that.

Also I love how he just...accepts this. Totally fucking bonkers, totally down with it. 

Oh shit, Tyrian and Mercury going to Vacuo? Damn thats gonna be INTERESTING. I guess Tyrian’ll fit in well enough honestly.

Flying Beringal literally out of the roof. 

I remember back when this season first started and I said those weird bone platforms looked like VTOL launch bays. Guess what? They are.

Merc and Em emotion blah blah DONT CAAARRREEE

Jaune thinking tactically for ONCE IN HIS FUCKING LIFE. An I mean military tactical of course.

Also I like how the Aces say they dont let emotions cloud their shit WHEN THEYVE BEEN DOING THAT THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME.

This ENTIRE PLANET is emotionally run. Thats why the Grimm are such an issue! Makes small note to make Remnant Adeptus Mechanicus cult

Seriously though...

I wont lie though, Hare isnt wrong. Wonder what happened to that Tortuga guy. Tyrian, is my guess. Love how Ren interrupts the moment they almost mention Clovers name.

Expendable, yes. Replacable, no. You should have a talk with squadron leader Grey from Star Wars Squadrons Ren

ANNNNDDD SEMBLANCE EVOLUTION. Or the edibles just kicked in.

This is cool and all but its really fucking dumb and hamfisted. Explain all you want. Mention emotions all you want.

The Aces are fucking huntsmen. HUNTSMEN. FUCKING. SUCK. They always have. Its a dumb idea. Yes, lets stop the hordes of monsters invading this world BY SENDING IN SINGLE OPERATIVES WITH FUCKING MELEE WEAPONS

I’ll make this clear to you, Ren, right here and now. If you faced a REAL elites, you wouldnt have stood a chance. Nor would RWBY. Their bodies would have been three-shot from 20 meters out with a breach and clear and stacked against the wall like cords of wood, one final shot to the dome to make dead sure they were down. None of this stupid flipping and acrobatic crap, none of this clashing weapons and Dust and semblances...no. 

You’d be dead before you knew they were there and they would move on. You’d just be another body to the pile, one more faceless corpse to add to their kill count. A meatgrinder in human form. 

Professionals. Dont. Lose. AND THE ACES ARE NOT PROFESSIONALS!

Because thats not what RWBYs about, never has been.  And that is what annoys me slightly. That and the fact I cant distangle what I know of other universes and our own from RWBY’s. Its hard to hold a universe on its own when everything they make points towards it being like ours, but they change it when they see fit. 

I feel like thats bad writing.

Hehehe. Winter touched Elms boob.

Glad to know that Winters got her priorities right. Course, that bomb probably aint gonna do shit cause its Dust based.

...again, hoping its a chemical weapon...

Wait, the Atlas forces from earlier are STILL FIGHTING? Damn, these Grimm must suck if they couldnt wipe them out in that little time...

Also I cant tell if its getting dark cause of the storm or if its the dawn of the next day.  Or did...they shift time around? I lost track. I SWORE the sun was setting the last time we saw everything.

Also return of the shitty 3D grass...

Marrows gonna defect.

Awww poor Winters got emotions. HEY MAYBE DONT SEND A MENSTRATING WOMAN OUT ON A FIELD OP, ATLAS!

So according to May there’s still front lines. Cool. 

AYYY ITS KLIEN! HES BACK

Oh, I guess hes a doctor too. Oh he MAD.

Ayyy Whitleys being USEFUL for fucking once in his shitty life.

Shes gonna hug him isnt she.

CALLED IT. For fuck sake...whatever. Cute. But whatever.

Oh annnnddd now Grimmquake?

No. It stopped...Bolide?

No. PENNY.

Annnnddd shes leaking coolant. And sparking. And dead.

RIP Penny.

The concept art of the beached whale looks so fucking silly. Seriously, just...detach the whole section there. Drop the fucking thing. 

Oh well.

And thats it for almost two months! Be prepared for me to BULLSHIT MY WAY THROUGH ALL OF IT and continue on with my military fanwank because THATS HOW IM SURVIVING 2020!

[medea10]

My Review of In/Spectre

How did I get into this anime? Let’s see what my check-list was back when I picked this up during the winter time. Does Crunchyroll have immediate rights to play it? Yes! Do I have one more slot open for weekly showings? Yes! Are you in the mood to hear Mamoru Miyano right now? Always! Let’s do it!

Kotoko Iwanaga is used to the abnormal and out of place situations. When she was 11 years old, she went missing for two weeks. During that time, demons asked her to become their “God of Wisdom”. However, Iwanaga lost her right eye and left leg as a result of this power. Fast-forward approximately 7 years later when she meets a college-aged male named Kuro Sakuragawa. She found a fascination with him, but kept her distance due to him being engaged to another woman named Saki.

But Kuro’s life changed when he and his girlfriend were on vacation and saw a kappa and the situation turned near-deadly. Due to an abnormality with Kuro, whenever it looks like he’s on the verge of death, he comes back to life. Thing is, his girlfriend Saki was absolutely set aback by this development and they wound up breaking up. With the news of Kuro and Saki splitting up, Iwanaga seizes this opportunity to spend more time with this young man as she asks for his assistance with dealing with the supernatural…

And to be her boyfriend!

BETWEEN THE SUB AND THE DUB: At the moment, Crunchyroll is the only one with authority to this anime and several weeks after the premier, they gave us an English dub. So far, so good! I’m getting a chance to hear a few of the newer voice actors and even some veterans like Cristina Vee. Now that some time has passed, all of the episodes are finally dubbed after a long hiatus due to the COVID-19 pandemic. As you already know from sentence one Kuro spoke, yes, that is Mamoru Miyano playing another main lead role. Luckily for me, he isn’t spazzy and he isn’t a holy asshole. Next to him, we have Akari Kitou who I’m hearing quite a bit of as of recent. I really enjoyed her performance as this insightful little lady. Here’s what you might recognize these folks from.

JAPANESE: *Iwanaga is played by Akari Kitou (known for Aru on Hitoribocchi, Nene on Toilet-Bound Hanako-kun, and Kaho on Blend S)

*Kuro is played by Mamoru Miyano (known for Cilan on Pokemon BW, Light on Death Note, Tamaki on Ouran HSHC, Koutaro on Zombieland Saga, Rin on Free!, Death the Kid on Soul Eater, and Tsukiyama on Tokyo Ghoul)

*Saki is played by Misato Fukuen (known for Georgia on Pokemon BW, Chibiusa on Sailor Moon: Crystal, Iggy on Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure Pt. 3, Eruka on Soul Eater, Yami on To Love Ru, and Yin on Darker Than Black)

ENGLISH CAST: *Iwanaga is played by Lizzie Freeman (known for Cardinal on SAO: Alicization and Trish on Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: Pt. 5)

*Kuro is played by Brandon Winckler (known for Eugeo on SAO: Alicization and Dale on If It’s for My Daughter…)

*Saki is played by Lauren Landa (known for Kyouko on Madoka Magica, Michiru/Sailor Neptune on Sailor Moon [redub], Annie on Attack on Titan, Juno on Beastars, Xenovia on High School DxD, and Sakuya on SAO)

SHIPPING: Well, let’s see if I can make any sense out of this.

*Iwanaga x Kuro: I guess it was love at first sight for Iwanaga as she seemed to have developed a crush when she first met him at the hospital. And you could tell how disappointed she was when Kuro’s relationship with Saki was growing. Even when Kuro is still in the post-breakup mode, Iwanaga has the balls to ask him to enter a relationship with her in the span of a single episode. And even after the two-year time-skip…I guess they are in a relationship. At least according to Iwanaga they are! It’s just that Kuro is so damned uninterested it’s so hard to tell. I’m not sure if I’m fully on board with this ship. Mostly because of Kuro’s disinterested attitude whenever he’s around his “girlfriend”! Iwanaga is very controlling in this relationship and prone to jealousy when Saki re-enters the picture later in the Steel Lady Nanase arc.

*Kuro x Saki: Yes, Saki was Kuro’s former girlfriend. Actually, it was more than that! They were freakin’ engaged! But because Saki got freaked out by the fact that Kuro could regenerate his body if he gets severely injured, she ended the relationship. Yeah, I can totally see how that would be shocking for anyone to go through. Due to the mystery that Iwanaga and Saki were trying to solve, the romance talks kinda had to be put to the side. It seems as though near the end that Saki has put her feelings of Kuro in the past and seems to have moved on for the most part. Plus when Saki was engaged to Kuro, she felt inferior to ANOTHER past love of Kuro’s. And now we gotta talk about…

*Kuro x Rikka: They’re cousins! BLOOD COUSINS! But Kuro has a special place in his heart for his sickly cousin! I mean, his thoughts of being greeted by Rikka at home compared to his real girlfriend are freakin’ damning. Plus both of these people have the same anomolie courtesy of their fucked up family. I’m not sure after the whole Steel Lady Nanase mess if Kuro’s perception of Rikka has changed for the worse. I just know that there was definitely something between those two. Kuro brings all his girlfriends to meet Rikka only for Rikka to say something like, “she’s not your type”.

ENDING: For the majority of the series, Iwanaga and Kuro have found themselves in the midst of a mystery involving the death of a famous actress. Seems simple enough in an anime like this, an idol (Karin Nanase) dies suddenly by a steel beam to the face and comes back to haunt the world of the living as a ghost (later named Steel Lady Nanase). But it can’t be that simple! There’s gotta be reasons for Steel Lady Nanase’s existence and Iwanaga is gonna figure it out one way or another.

I mean, she knows the real truth. It’s just that someone is pulling the strings behind Steel Lady Nanase still causing havoc. She’s still running amok due to a fan website dedicated to the ghost. And that site has A LOT of traction with fans of all sorts. Add to this mind-fuck, Kuro’s “lovely” cousin Rikka is the administrator for the website. As I’ve mentioned before, she has that immortality power that her cousin possesses as well. And Rikka uses that power to keep things going with Steel Lady Nanase.

Iwanaga went through several scenarios to disprove Steel Lady Nanase’s existence. And all but one of those theories were poked by skeptics and even Rikka who was stalking the forums. It wasn’t until Iwanaga came up with the theory of Nanase meeting a woman who looks exactly like her and that her doppleganger was the one that died at the construction site. Somehow that was the theory millions of fans took as truth and this was how Iwanaga was able to take down Rikka and her fansite.

So everything is gonna go back to somewhat normal. Karin Nanase can rest in peace, the spirits around the area can rest easy without being tormented by a crazy bitch swinging a steel beam, Saki goes back to work as a police officer, Rikka is still lurking around, and we get a cute moment between Iwanaga and Kuro.

This anime started out strong, but once you realize that this Steel Lady Nanase arc was going to be covered in 10 episodes out of a 12 episode series, it kinda leaves this series a little underwhelming. The idea of having one character with the ability to communicate with spirits and another character with an anomolie in his body preventing him from dying seemed really interesting. Especially when you have someone like Iwanaga trying to solve mysteries and coming up with the best case scenario in every case! But that’s just it, we only got two cases in this 12 episode series. The manga still seems pretty new and so I’m hoping to see more development with Iwanaga and Kuro. It’s an okay series, it’s just that I give a hesitant recommendation with the warning that this will drag a bit when we’re stuck in Steel Lady Nanase hell for 10 episodes. In an anime season that was filled to the brim with mystery animes, I actually found myself a little more invested in Toilet-Bound Hanako-kun. But that’s just me! You guys make your own judgments on which mystery anime of 2020 wins your vote.

Final note: The OP is a banger and as for the ED, it’s always a treat whenever Mamoru Miyano is singing!

If you would like to watch In/Spectre, Crunchyroll has all 12 episodes available for streaming in both sub and dub.

[theanimeview]

My Interpretation of Blackbird by Junji Ito

By: Casea Mhtar | @madamekrow

Mature Content Warning: This post contains content that we at The Anime View do not think is suitable for everyone. The genre of the work being reviewed is Horror. Possible triggers or subjects could include severe mental illness and suicide. By clicking "Keep Reading," you understand that you may encounter such content. Viewer/reader discretion is advised.

Do you feel the cool winds as they blow through the trees? Do you hear the fallen leaves rolling down the street, scraping against the sidewalk as you pass by? Do you notice the air of gloom hovering over you even on a bright and sunny day? We are now in the throws of Autumn, as we creep closer and closer to Halloween. I hope you’re as excited as I am, because for today’s post I will be delving into a story by Junji Ito, who is also known as Japan’s Master of Horror. I feel he needs no more introduction than that, since one google search will immediately prove why he has such an honorable title.

The one I will be discussing is from Fragments of Horror, a manga of short stories. He created this manga after an 8 year hiatus and it certainly appears that he was rusty in terms of storytelling. Generally, this manga has been received as being rather subpar in comparison with his other works. Which is why I chose this story from Fragments of Horror, the only one that stuck with me even years after I had finished reading the book. It often gets overlooked, making it all the more enticing to shine a light on it.

Blackbird

Kume is out birdwatching, the first time he’s done so in a long while, when he hears someone calling out to him. It’s a stranger lying on the ground, pleading for help. This man gets carried away to the hospital on a stretcher as Kume follows behind. When speaking with the doctor we learn that this man, Shiro Moriguchi, had a terrible fall resulting in both of his legs being broken. Not only that, but he also doesn’t have any family or friends to call, and is unemployed. They all wonder how he survived that long and with a stutter, he explains that he rationed whatever food he had in his backpack. 

Later, he begs Kume to stay the night with him and he agrees with mild concern. Moriguchi continues to open up about not having anyone in his life. In fact he never knew his family, expressing that he grew up in an orphanage. Kume replies, “You can talk to me about your troubles. We have a connection now.” before turning over and the two going to sleep for the night. 

Kume is awakened by a strange noise, immediately disturbed by the sight of a woman shrouded in shadow on top of Moriguchi, kissing him. She slips off of Shiro, walks to Kume and smiles directly in his face, then proceeds to calmly walk out of the hospital room. Moriguchi spits out a lump of raw meat and begins to panic that she has come back. Kume asks for more information and Moriguchi confesses to him what really happened during those four weeks of being injured and destitute, how he was truly able to survive. Seven days after his fall, he was running low on food when that woman appeared with her cheeks full, chewing and chewing. She kissed him, pushing raw meat into his mouth as it sizzled on his starving tongue. Leaving without a word, only to return the next day. This time, her kiss produced warm blood to quench his thirst. She is the one that kept him alive during that time, but he no longer needs her help. In fact, the meat lost its delicious taste, and he is left feeling as though he shouldn’t be eating it at all. Moriguchi was terrified, so Kume decided to stay with him another night in the hospital.

Once again, Kume was awakened by the woman feeding Shiro in the middle of the night. Immediately, Moriguchi spits out an eyeball from his mouth while the mysterious woman chuckles and leaves. Kume decides to follow her through the halls and out of the hospital. But right as he touches her shoulder, she turns into a large, black bird and flies off into the darkness.

The following morning they choose to alert the authorities, though they leave out the details of her flying into the night. Without the authorities present, Shiro panics about her being some kind of bird monster. Confessing that when he was an infant, he was abandoned in the corner of a park, alone for about a week or so. It’s a miracle that he survived, making him wonder if she was feeding him then as well, as though he is her chick.

Detectives show up the following day, revealing that the eyeball and meat are both of human origin and from the same person. Shiro and Kume are questioned, but can only answer what they know. This leaves the detectives without much to go on and with no way of knowing who the flesh and eyeball came from. But the woman hadn’t returned since Kume saw her fly away.

At a train station, Kume congratulates Shiro on his full recovery. He asks if Shiro has plans to find a job in Tokyo, expressing that it’s a shame he doesn’t stay since he could introduce him to people he knows. Moriguchi is thankful for the offer but declines, saying that he feels he needs to start anew someplace else in order to escape the shadow of that woman. Though, when Shiro’s train leaves the station, Kume sees a large black bird following behind it. He eventually receives a postcard from Shiro, not hearing anything about the bird woman, in fact he seems to be doing just fine! This allows Kume to brush off what he saw as being a kite or an eagle.

Three years later, Shiro Moriguchi was found dead in a frozen crater on the summit of Mount Fuji. They also discover that the meat and eyeball from earlier matched his own DNA, meaning that during the time of his horrible fall, Moriguchi was being fed the flesh and blood of his future self. His belongings were found near his corpse, including his journal with the details of what had happened in his last few days of being alive and frightened. She entered his locked apartment and started taking bite after bite of his flesh. He tried to move overseas, but she quickly found him and flew him to the summit of Mount Fuji. Cold, distressed, and alone, he passed away.

It appears to be winter as Kume goes out birdwatching in the forest again, thinking about the findings after Moriguchi’s mysterious death; When he hears something rustling in the tree near by. He turns around, startled by the bird woman, perched on a tree branch above him. Kume steps back, and with no more ground left, he falls down a cliff and breaks his leg. She readily flies down with her cheeks full. She feeds Kume mouth-to-mouth, as he notes its unpleasant taste.

My interpretation

I had an entire post planned out, depicting all sorts of theories I came up with. I investigated  the kanji of their names, the meanings, what the backstory could be, even speculating how this bird woman functions based on my findings...

Until I admitted myself into a mental hospital, staying there for seven days and seven nights. It allowed me to look at this story in a different way. I’m sure my interpretation isn’t truly what it’s about, nonetheless this is what it personally means to me. 

It appears to me like the Blackbird is the embodiment of Depression as she only comes to Moriguchi when he is most isolated and defenseless. Technically, since Shiro was being fed meat from his future self, he was the one keeping himself alive. Much like depression, there are times where we can get ourselves through completely on our own, but it comes at the cost of our own lifespan. People with severe mental illness, such as Bipolar or Depression, have a life expectancy of 10 to 25 years less than people without mental illness. Yes, that does include suicide, however this premature mortality is mostly cause by physical chronic medical conditions. People with severe mental illness often don’t get the proper care that they need, as their mental health deteriorates their physical health. I believe Shrio Moriguchi partly expresses these facts. He received wonderful care for his injured legs, but he didn’t get the treatment he needed for his Depression. This resulted in his physical debilitation and mental decline.

Then we have Kume, he was finally able to scare off the Blackbird for some time, as he was Shiro’s only support system. However, Moriguchi continued to distance himself, allowing the Depression to creep in once more. Why did the Blackbird target Kume? Well, relying on one person to be there for you, night after night as the lady shrouded in darkness overcomes you. That person being the only one you entrust with your woes and traumas. They are the only one you depend on to help stave off your Depression. Imagine that person, waiting to read your letters or postcards, making sure that you are okay, only to later find out that you did not survive. You have been taken by the Blackbird, your Depression. That can severely impact someone’s mental health. That is why it’s important to have a support system of not only friends and family (of origin or otherwise), but also of medical professionals that you trust. Kume did his best to be there for Moriguchi, even offering to introduce him to more people, which would allow Shiro to build up a support system. However, Moriguchi did what he thought would be best, resulting in him inadvertently isolating himself further and further into the Blackbird’s grasp. Even in his time of desperation he turned to old habits of writing in his journal, pleading for help in those pages without the intention of reaching out as well. Being trapped in an icy cold hollow atop Mount Fuji is the perfect representation of his severe isolation. 

I know this all too well, the devastation your loved one feels as they watch you deteriorate. You fall deeper and deeper into dysfunction, while they are helpless to do much more than to hold your hand through the nightly crises. Kume was there for Moriguchi, accepting all of his issues and willing to confront the Blackbird, even keeping it from coming back for some time. He was open and ready to carry some of the crushing weight that Shiro had been burdened with his entire life. Thus, falling victim to the debilitating gravity of Depression that Moriguchi could no longer cope with. Falling prey to the Blackbird chewing away at his future self. Little by little, bite by bite; Depression can take days, even years off your life.

Yes, my interpretation is rather… depressing. But I do believe it is important to recognize your unhealthy patterns, the patterns that detail your decline. In addition to reaching out for help when you feel yourself isolating further into the harsh depths of your inner turmoil. Not only that, but it’s spooky week! What is possibly more terrifying than confronting the realities of your mental illness?

Happy Halloween!

Of course I wouldn’t just leave you hanging like that! Here are some links for more information on not only how to reach out, but also what kind of help you can expect in terms of calling a suicide hotline or hospitalization. As well as what type of therapy might be better for you and what your options are if you can’t afford it:

10 Ways to Reach Out in a Mental Health Crisis

Here's What Happens When You Call Into A Suicide Prevention Hotline

What Happens When You Are Hospitalized For Depression?

4 Differences Between Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Dialectical Behavior Therapy and How to Tell Which is Right For You

What To Do If You Can't Afford Therapy, According To An Expert

[its-a-branwen-thing]

And we’re done another breathtaking season! What a ton to unpack. Some quick thoughts below the cut:

Penny is a maiden! She’s so pure and she deserves it so much. I feel like having a maiden on their side will do a lot to help the team out. I love that it ties into her Pinocchio allusion of becoming a “real girl.” Also aura being gender less until chosen upon but the body that it occupies said YES.

Winter with her hair down was *chefs kiss*. Also, she held her own against a maiden. Sister’s got some wicked moves. I loved the entire fight with her and Cinder and Penny. It really solidified Penny’s resolve to save people and definitely mad her acquiring the maiden powers feel much more lovely and earned. The aerial battle was stunning. And her small exchange with Weiss? I see these two next season, and I cannot wait for what will develop. Winter is loyal to Ironwood still. Weiss is not. And Whitley and their mother are still at the manor, presumably. How will this family saga play out? AHHHH!!

Also, we all agree Freya is the blue fairy? And I love that they gave her some agency at the end. She willingly transferred her powers to Penny even though Winter is the one she’s seen the most. Shows how you can’t buy trust you have to earn it.

RWBY did not do much this episode, really. Outside of Ruby herself who silver-eyed Cinder. I liked that detail of having her being unable to unlock it during the megoliath fight but to really use it here, where it mattered (not that the megoliath didn’t matter but...you know what I mean).

OSCAR AND OZPIN. Wow are these two something. I loved Ozpin’s return and I thought his fall from Atlas was visually breathtaking. Amazing job, CRWBY. His speech on fear left me with feelings. I’m so excited to see where his next arc takes him, being separated from the group and all. I also loved that he didn’t fight Ironwood. He totally tried to reason with him. And Ironwood shot first. And everyone’s been pointing out that you can see the moment Ironwood lost his “heart” by the light fading from his eyes. (Aside from, you know, shooting a child?!) I wonder how he and Winter and the remaining Ace Ops will fair next season? What a climax for them. Also Ozpin’s unlocking of his magic again? (I thought it was Oscar’s semblance at first but it does bear striking similarities to Ozpin’s defense bubble in V3). That was stellar! Now he’s down on the ground and he’ll have to regroup, Ozpin in tow, with the rest of the team.

Neo’s fight with JNR was underwhelming only in that...it didn’t seem to have as much at stake? I loved the fight but the character dynamics of it were just not as harrowing as Cinder v Penny & Winter. But I loved the details of her fighting! She’s a great fighter and she ultimately succeeded in her goal in the end. She got the relic and gave it to Cinder so now Salem has a relic and a maiden, and so do our heroes. The issue is Salem’s faction is united and Oz’s is not. There’s a maiden on one side (RWBY+) and a relic on the other (Ironwood+). Also, Ren crying at fighting Nora didn’t feel necessarily like he was crying because it was her and he couldn’t bear to hurt her but because he’s conflicted about what that means for himself. If he can’t fight because of love, won’t they lose? I like Ren’s arc with Nora extending into the next volume. His last line was what we were all thinking but still, our heroes secured a win with their safety and their (somewhat) unity.

Cinder’s commitment this season is 100%. I have to say, this episode felt absolutely more cinematic than the others. It felt like we won, like we lost, and so much more. It felt heroic and triumphant while at the same time seemingly hopeless. I loved it to death. And Cinder’s line delivery was amazing. i love how desperate she was. I love the constant reference to hunger (which she also made of the maiden powers when they were split with her in V3. She said she liked the feeling). Hate Cinder but also now love her. Merc, Hazel, and Em have to be here with Salem too, right? How is her reunion with Emerald going to go? I’m totally invested in their dynamic and now, with the lamp in their possession, how that might work with Emerald’s character being an obvious allusion to Aladdin (I think)? Lamp, genie, Aladdin, one question left? Let’s do this!

WATTS IS ALIVE! Wow, I did not call that. I mean, maybe I should have? Super glad for it though! he’s a great villain. Anyway, what a comfy prison cell?

Qrow was far more apathetic this episode than I thought he would be after the delivery of the last line of the E12. But I loved it because it really made it seem like he’s healing. And I loved Robyn’s support at the end as a subtle reminder that he’s not alone. I predicted them taking Qrow down a dark path in V8 but I feel like I couldn’t be farther from the truth. He had Clover’s pin (which hurt) but he didn’t seem angry. He seemed sad. And sadness is better than anger, it means he’s likely going to get past blaming himself and have a new arc within prison Atlas. Definitely want him to fight with Robyn and the Happy Huntresses and eventually face Tyrian again. I also predict he’ll have a confrontation with Ironwood. He keeps calling him James and Ironwood said this episode only friends refer to him as James, you can call me Daddy General which also feels like a confirmation of his full antagonist status for the audience as well. He isn’t a friend anymore. Also maybe Winter and Qrow interactions again? I’ve discarded my shipping goggles for all these cases so i just hope for conversations of whatever nature the writers want.

And now--Salem. What an appearance. She really did come to Atlas! And on a wailord whale nonetheless! I feel like it’s big enough that she could literally just knock Atlas out of the sky? How are they going to reconcile that? It’s not like she can just lay siege, she’s got a Grimm big enough to like body slam the city of Mantle. I wonder how this is going to go? I always through they’d face Salem on the dark continent towards the end of the series but this is a stunning conclusion to her V6 stinger, visually and story-wise. How are Ironwood’s forces going to fend her off? What is her plan? I wonder if she is going to capture Atlas and Mantle’s going to have to be the one to free their “city in the sky” from the tyranny of the Grimm Queen Salem? I would speculate on our heroes heading away to Vacuo or such, to get word out, which might be something they’re going to send someone to do so we can have a Gandolf arriving at Helm’s Deep type situation when Vacuo’s forces arrive, but that seems wrong as Oscar asks how they can save Atlas, and I’m sure our heroes are thinking the same thing.

Okay, I’ve loved RWBY since I first watched it back in 2014, but I have to say this is the first time the show has felt like a blockbuster. Maybe it’s because I’m listening to the Divergent soundtrack rn, but I feel like this whole series has evolved and grown so much and the amount of love and energy and time and passion has been given is felt. It’s wonderful to see. It’s great that Monty’s amazing legacy is carrying onward. I’m so excited to be on this journey with the creators and other fans--what a ride, guys! Onward to the hiatus and the eventual release of the V7 soundtrack V8!

[forehead-enthusiast]

A Buncha Tag Games (and yet not all of them)

tagged by: @eggyukhei mwah

tagging: this is a LOT of games so i’ll only tag @atinyphobe @nsheetee and @veonjun for the SECOND (2nd) game. if they or anybody wants to do any of the other games, absolutely go for it and say i tagged you <3 i’d love to see what you guys say!! (also, tk if you felt like you wanted to answer my questions from the second game i’d be interested to see!)

One:

tell me the first song that made you stan your current fave group and why did your faves attract you so much?

ok SO the song that probably got me into rv 100% (also yes ik this blog is 99% nct but rv is my forever fave no question) was probably ice cream cake!! i had been a casual listener of many groups up until that point and had never really stanned anyone, but icc was so infectious i found myself watching it over and over. i had heard happiness and be natural before but hadn’t really listened too closely, so icc was the song that captured me. after that, dumb dumb only cemented my love for them more, and the red is still one of my favorite kpop albums to date. rv attracted me primarily because of their incredible vocals and their versatility in genres and concepts. i still get so excited wondering what they’ll tackle next!! they’re just soooo unique and have one of, if not the best discographies of any group. i cannot stress enough, I. Love. RV!! also they’re funny and gay so. anyway stream monster once it drops uwu

Two:

rule: answer the ten questions and write your own!

1. what is your favorite song that’s been released during quarantine? ooooo honestly??? probably something off of Sawayama. literally every song bangs so hard i highly recommend that album to anyone!! i can’t pick a favorite off it but who’s gonna save you now is awesome and xs is just,,, chef’s kiss

2. what is your greatest mishap when you tried cooking? (or something you’ve witnessed) one time, while making soup at my late grandmother’s house on her like gas stove, i put a lid on a pot and somehow that led the pot to be engulfed in flames. IN MY DEFENSE i was like 7, and i’m great at cooking/baking now

3. what’s your go-to outfit or article of clothing? oh i love a nice dress. they can be casual or formal, and you look like you put effort into your outfit except i didn’t because i didn’t have to match anything yo!!!! also shorts have trouble fitting me cause i’m a weird body type so dresses tend to be very comfy for me

4. what is your comfort food? am i allowed to say like all food??? eating in itself is comforting,,, that sounds depressing but also i just like eating yummy food. i guess i’d say like my dad’s fried rice?? its my fave and no one makes it like him soooo

5. what singular moment in your life would you like to relive? i couldn’t tell if this meant like, a good moment you want to re-experience or go back in time and redo a moment and fix it. it’s kind of a hard question so i might cop out and go with a bit of a silly answer: i want to relive the hi touch with astro...... i wanna look at rocky’s beautiful eyes and touch moonbin’s hand ok,,,,

6. what is your favorite line and/or character from a movie, show, or book? i got a bunch but a few off the top of my head are genie lo (the epic crush of genie lo), ty lee, suki (atla), klaus, and ben (umbrella academy) 

7. if you could only choose one ice cream flavor and pizza topping/style for the rest of your life, what would it be? ice cream flavor: this very specific one from a local store that is banana ice cream with strawberries and oreo mixed in. it is heaaaavenly. as for pizza topping, i love a breakfast type pizza with an egg on top and like sausage and stuff!!!

8. what is the worst injury you’ve ever had or witnessed? funny enough, i’ve actually gotten badly injured quite a few times, and always on the face!! god hates me. the worst was probably when i hit a metal bench with my face and it took a chunk out of my cheek. i still have the scar! as for “witnessed” i accidentally broke a grown man’s rib once as a child, so i guess that would count.

9. would you rather explore the unknown of space or the bottom of the ocean? oceaaaan!! i answered this in some other game, but i like how mysterious and yet close the ocean is. like proximity wise it’s so near, yet there’s an insane amount we know nothing about. that’s so frightening but so intriguing

10. if you could be any cartoon character, who would you be? my first thought was literally “kirby. eat fast” GOD my followers are gonna think i’m just a glutton and they’re not even gonna be wrong im dying. but uhh idk mulan or smth?

my questions:

what is your go-to feel good movie?

are you the type of person who’s indecisive about buying, or the type to impulse buy once you see something you like?

do you prefer chocolate-y or fruity candy?

what idol do you think is most similar to you? (not your bias necessarily)

do you have any silly dealbreakers? if so, what are they?

what do you do to unwind?

what is a small thing you like to do for people you love? (be it sending memes, remembering their favorite shows, etc)

what’s/who’s your favorite myth/mythological being?

what is a non-typical pet you would want to have?

do you say pronounce data as day-ta or dah-ta?

THREE

rule: bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations, then tag nine people. 

AIR ༉⋆͙̈

i have small hands / i love the night sky / i watch animals and birds when i pass them by / i drink herbal tea / i wake to see the dawn / the smell of dust is comforting / i’m valued for being wise / i prefer books to music / i meditate / i find joy in learning new truths from the world around me

FIRE ༉⋆͙̈

i don’t have straight hair / i like to wear ripped jeans and overalls / i play an organized sport / i love dogs / i am not afraid of adventure / i love to talk to strangers / i always try new foods / i enjoy road trips / summer is my favorite season / my radio is always playing

WATER ༉⋆͙̈

i wear bracelets on my wrists / i love the bustle of the city / i have more than one set of piercings / i read poetry / i love the sound of a thunderstorm / i want to travel the world / i sleep past midday most days / i love simply lit dinners and fluorescent signs / i rewatch kids shows out of nostalgia / i see emotions in colors not words

EARTH ༉⋆͙̈

i wear glasses or contacts / i enjoy doing the laundry / i am a vegetarian or vegan / i have an excellent sense of time / my humor is very cheerful / i am a valued advisor to my friends / i believe in true love / i love this chill of mountain air / i’m always listening to music / i am highly trusted by the people in my life

AETHER ༉⋆͙̈

i go without makeup in my daily life / i make my own artwork / i keep on track of my tasks and time / i always know true north / i see beauty in everything / i can always smell flowers / i smile at everyone i pass by / i always fear history repeating itself / i have recovered from a mental disorder / i can love unconditionally

FOUR

the ultimate tag: answer whichever ones you want to because there are a lot and then tag a few blogs you’d like to get to know better! 

PERSONAL

name: sarah

nickname: bells

birthday: april 17th

zodiac: aries

nationality: chinese american

languages: english, some spanish, some korean

gender: female

sexuality: baby bi bi bi~

height: 5′10

BLOG STUFF

inspiration for muse: i suppose nct since i write for them the most?? but i feel like sometimes i come up with the idea before i think of a member so sometimes the muse is just my own fantasies oops

meaning behind my url: i made it at a time where loads of idols were getting bangs and honestly i believe most of them look infinitely better without them, thus i was and still am enthusiastic about foreheads.

blog established: like winter of 2018...?? i think

followers: over 2.5k but most deactivated/left during my hiatus lol

FAVORITES

favourite animals: sharks, chickens, snakes, cats, penguins

favourite books: the epic crush of genie lo and then iron will of genie lo, PERIOD

favourite colour: pink and purple!!

favourite fictional characters: lol, again, genie lo, ty lee, suki, klaus, ben, and just a few more: richard and evelyn o’connell (the mummy), dave (dave), michael (the good place)

favourite flower: sunflower

favourite scent: baking chocolate, heating butter, blackberry, wisteria

favourite season: probably spring! i like warmth but not HEAT

RANDOM

average hours of sleep: ugh idek i sleep horribly

cats or dogs: both, but unfortunately i’ve never had either

coffee, tea or hot chocolate: tea but then hot chocolate

current time: 5:29pm

dream trip: go to paris and eat loads of pastries and enjoy the fashions and beauty of the city, and also learn to bake better maybe?

dream job: actress

hobbies: making jewelry, drawing, singing, reading comics

hogwarts house: according to the quizzes, all of them. people who have just met me think slytherin or gryffindor, people who i’m friends with think ravenclaw or hufflepuff, people who know me really well know you can’t box a person into oversimplified archetypes :’) in my assessment of myself, it varies by the day, but i think perhaps gryffindor today?

last movie watched: hot fuzz (a classic)

last song listened to: summer breeze by sf9

no. of blankets you sleep with: like 2

random fact(s): i won lego building competitions as a child, one of my dream roles is anastasia from the musical named after her, i played violin for a very short time, i bake the cakes for all my family and friends’ birthdays, i have strangely strong grip strength

SIX

10 songs i can’t stop listening to:

love me 4 me- rina sawayama

cherry- rina sawayama

in & out- red velvet

crush culture- conan gray

manic- conan gray

the king- conan gray

summer- pentagon

told you now- jeremy jordan (originally sung by sam smith)

fuck this world (interlude)- rina sawayama

someone who loves me- sara bareilles

[yukarisensei]

Top 10 Anime of the Decade (incl. Winter Anime 2020)

Minna-san, akemashiteomedetōgozaimasu (Happy New Year)! It’s been awhile...sorry T^T. Life has been absolutely INSANE since the last time I posted, which was...omg September. OwO I honestly did not watch a lot of anime because real life has been so crazy. BUT that doesn’t mean I didn’t watch ANY anime. 

I was originally just going to post my annual Winter Anime Season post but after watching Joey: The Anime Man’s “The ULTIMATE Top 10 Anime of the Decade List” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqY25glHPxE) I wanted to look back and reflect on some of my favorite anime of the decade and share them with you guys as well. Like Joey I will also include some honorable mentions in the list. Without further ado, here are some of my favorite anime from this decade:

2010

Durarara!!

https://myanimelist.net/anime/6746/Durarara?q=durara

This was one of the first few shows that @perfectlynorm first recommended for me to watch when he and I reconnected back in 2015. I didn’t watch this show back when it first aired, but I really wish I did. The storytelling really stood out to me and I loved how all of the characters’ stories interconnected with each other. The seasons that came out later in 2015-2016 were great as well, but this first season was by far the best. 

Honorable Mentions:

- Kaichou wa Maid-Sama! (still one of the best romance/comedy anime to this day...I NEED A SEASON 2!!!)

- Shugo Chara (technically it aired years before 2010 but it’s one of the first few shows I got into during that year)

- Kimi ni Todoke (a slow burner but it’s still one of the few romance anime I go back to from time to time)

2011

Fate/Zero

https://myanimelist.net/anime/10087/Fate_Zero?q=fate

Again, this is another show that @perfectlynorm recommended back when I really started to become the filthy weeb that I still am. This was also the first show that introduced me to the greatness of ufotable’s animation. Fate/stay night: Unlimited Blade Works was amazing, but this show really blew my mind. The animation, the story, and the characters were top tier amongst the shows I watched at the time. This is a show I could recommend to new anime fans. 

Honorable Mentions:

- Uta no Prince-sama: Maji Love 1000% (this show unlocked my love for idol anime, a very memorable part of my teenage years)

- Sekaiichi Hatsukoi (still one of the best Boys Love/Yaoi anime I’ve ever watched...still waiting for the day he officially falls in love with him ugh)

- No.6 (another @perfectlynorm​ recommendation...that ending still hurts T^T)

2012

Kuroko no Basket

https://myanimelist.net/anime/11771/Kuroko_no_Basket?q=kuroko

One of my male high school friends recommended this to me...I wonder if he new that he was cursing me at the time. This show was my introduction to the sports genre in anime. To this day, this show is still one of my favorite sports anime. Yes, looking back on it now parts of this show are extremely unrealistic and is mainly loved by fujoshis, but if I were to introduce any new anime fan to the sports genre, this would be the first show on my recommendation list. 

Honorable Mentions:

- Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic (I started this show for the voice actors, I stayed for the story and characters, 10/10 would watch again)

- Sukitte Ii na yo. (another great romance anime that really builds the relationship between the two main couple...without holding out the kiss until the last episode)

- Kamisama Hajimemashita (loved the anime and the manga...I was sad to see it end and that the anime was rushed, but it’s another romance anime I could watch again)

2013

Attack on Titan

https://myanimelist.net/anime/16498/Shingeki_no_Kyojin?q=attack%20

Oh wow, @perfectlynorm​ recommendation lol. At the time, I would not have watched this on my own free will since I was (still am) weak to blood and gore. However, when I first watched this...I pretty much binged the entire first season within a week. I still remember the thrill and heart-pounding excitement I felt from watching each episode. I still have a lot of episodes to catch up on before the FINAL season (omg) comes out next fall, but I am excited nonetheless.

Honorable Mentions:

- Free! (ugh the fujoshi bait was so real in this show, but I LOVED it)

- Kuroko no Basket 2 (I was soooo hyped when I was watching this show, even while I would wait for each new episode during my Saturday ballet classes)

- Uta no Prince-sama: Maji Love 2000% (imo, the BEST Utapri season)

2014

Free!: Eternal Summer

https://myanimelist.net/anime/22265/Free__Eternal_Summer?q=free

At this time of my life, I just graduated from high school and was about to start the next big chapter of my life: college. This show really spoke to me back then because, like the characters, I was scared and uneasy for what happens after high school. I especially related to Haru’s uncertainty for the future and unwillingness to change. But as I followed his journey throughout the season I eventually felt ready to take the next step towards my future along with him. 

Honorable Mentions:

- Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun (I DIED while watching this show, it provided so many laughs that I would recommend this to anyone)

- Akatsuki no Yona (love, love, love Yona and her harem of strong ikemen...I still feel proud that @lunastories​ absolutely FELL for this show)

- Haikyuu!! (one of the best sports anime EVER...I’m so so sad it’s ending soon)

2015

Kuroko no Basket 3

https://myanimelist.net/anime/24415/Kuroko_no_Basket_3rd_Season?q=kuroko

It was very difficult to choose a favorite anime for this year, but when I thought about what show I felt the most emotions from start to finish, I picked the final season of KnB. I was reading the manga while it was still being serialized so nothing in the show came as a surprise plot-wise, but to watch this show from the very beginning to the very end made me very emotional...until Last Game became a thing (god it still hurts T^T). 

Honorable Mentions:

- Ore Monogatari! (this has to be my FAVORITE romance anime, it broke so many romance anime stereotypes and i could watch it again and again)

- Haikyuu!! 2 (it’s haikyuu, nuff said)

- One Punch Man (still haven’t watched season 2, but omg I LOVED season 1, I still remember how much my friends and I laughed for each episode)

2016

Yuri!!! on Ice

https://myanimelist.net/anime/32995/Yuri_on_Ice?q=yuri

*deep breaths* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ok. This show, as embarrassing as it is to admit, MADE 2016 for me. Like so many fujoshis and fudanshis, I ate this show up and awaited week after week for each new episode to air. I know there are so many criticisms about this show, but f**k the haters. For me, and for others, this show changed what anime could do: normalize a same sex couple without fetishizing it. 

Honorable Mentions:

- ERASED (a GREAT mystery anime, that brings a lot of feels and thrills 10/10)

- Boku no Hero Academia (omg loved it, scroll down for more of my thoughts about this show)

- Kiss Him, Not Me! (this is the anime for fujoshis, watch if you are or think you are one, trust me)

2017

Boku no Hero Academia 2

https://myanimelist.net/anime/33486/Boku_no_Hero_Academia_2nd_Season?q=boku%20no

I picked up the first season of this series before the summer 2017 anime season because of all the hype about it, and omg I was so excited for the second season. I eventually got all of my anime friends to watch it and they got so into it that we would do our first group cosplay together for the show at AX a year later. This show really made 2017 for me and I am very happy it is still so loved to this day...now I just need to start season 4 hehehe. 

Honorable Mentions:

- Hitorijime My Hero (one of my fav Boys Love/Yaoi anime cuz the main couple does not bang for every episode and actually TALK lol)

- Tsuki ga Kirei (a romance anime that i think accurately portrays an awkward, but sweet middle school romance)

- Recovery of an MMO Junkie (another fav romance anime, the main couple are absolute cinnamon rolls please please watch it)

2018

Banana Fish

https://myanimelist.net/anime/36649/Banana_Fish?q=ban

The ending of this show still breaks my heart, but this show was a huge part of 2018 for me. At first, the show’s brutal and violent themes startled me and prevented me from watching it when it first aired, but when @perfectlynorm​ convinced @passionateflame​ and I to watch this after AX 2018, I was blessed and cursed at the same time. Ash and Eiji’s strong emotional connection was what warmed and broke my heart at the same time. Rest in peace...my heart.

Honorable Mentions:

- IDOLISH7 (an idol anime that beats UtaPri to death...excited for season 2 in 2020!!!)

- Gakuen Babysitters (not only gives me endless amounts of feels and warm fuzzies, but also reminds me why i love working with kids)

- Wotaku ni Koi wa Muzukashii (THE show for otaku)

2019

Fruits Basket

Although 2019 was probably the year I watched the least amount of anime, Fruits Basket was my favorite anime of the year. It was hard to pick my favorite and to narrow down the honorable mentions, but this anime was my most anticipated show of the year. I had high expectations going into it since the original anime was a huge part of my teen years, and I was definitely not disappointed. I’m so excited for the upcoming second season in 2020!!!

Honorable Mentions:

(Edit: ok I cheated by adding 4 but all of these shows were AWESOME!)

- Dororo (one of the great surprises of 2019, 10/10 would watch again)

- Demon Slayer (jumped on the bandwagon after AX and OMG I’m so glad I did)

- Dr. Stone (SURPRISE another @perfectlynorm​ recommendation...LOVED IT)

- Beastars (...I’m not a furry...but Legosi is best boy)

Here is what I am watching for winter 2020:

Haikyuu!!: To the Top

https://myanimelist.net/anime/38883/Haikyuu__To_the_Top

YES!!! My crow babies are back after a FOUR YEAR hiatus!!!

AND that concludes my top 10 anime of the decade list. I do not think my taste in anime has changed too much over the years, but within this past year I have come to be genuinely and pleasantly surprised over anime that I never would have picked up 10 years ago. So I guess I want to approach anime with a more open mind in 2020. 

I only plan to watch Haikyuu for this winter season because I am going to be busy with student teaching and finishing off my last semester in the teacher credential program at my school. But things might change...

Anyway, thank you so much for reading this MONSTER of a list if you made it to the end. Let me know what you guys think. What were you some of your favorite anime this decade? What was your favorite anime this year? Are you watching any anime this season? I hope 2020 starts off great for all of you! Matane!

[agirlinjapan]

Red Data Girl: My Wish on the Night of the Shooting Stars (Week 19)

Red Data Girl: My Wish on the Night of the Shooting Stars By Noriko Ogiwara A Translation

Miss the last piece? Read it here!

Check out the RDG Translation twitter!

Help me pay for my next translation project on Ko-fi.

Happy Palm Sunday, Easter, and Passover to those who will be celebrating over the next week!

This installation has brought us to page 200 in RDG 6. We’re chugging along! It’s officially spring break for me, which means I’ll have more time than usual to dedicate to RDG. I’m hoping to get a decent amount done each day, and move further through the novel. I think I’ll be done by the beginning of summer!

Translation Notes:

The Namahage are a type of demon portrayed at festivals in certain parts of Japan.

The Night Parade of One Hundred Demons appears in a number of Japanese folktales. It’s more or less just what it sounds like.

Red Data Girl: My Wish on the Night of the Shooting Stars By Noriko Ogiwara Chapter 3: Winter Solstice Part 1 (2 of 3)

Seeing as no one came to the student government room during the study days before the exams, it was a much better place to tutor someone than the library. Talking wasn’t allowed in the library’s reading rooms and any questions a student amassed during their time there were easily forgotten by the time they left and could speak again.

In the government room though, it was perfectly fine to talk. Miyuki also seemed to prefer it over the library because he felt more comfortable when other people’s eyes weren’t on him. They could also talk freely about whatever they wanted when there weren’t other people around. Today, Izumiko was planning to use that solitude to bring up the awkward moment they had had the day before.

However, Miyuki and Izumiko weren’t the only ones to claim use of the student government room. When they arrived, Okouchi and Hoshino were already settled there. Unused to not coming to student government once a day during the pre-exam club hiatus, the two second years had been coming anyway to play around with the computers there.

Okouchi and Hoshino were so lost in their own world though that they never once bothered Izumiko and Miyuki when they studied together or did anything else. Little by little, Izumiko had gotten used to their presence, and didn’t notice them as much as she had at first.

The two second year boys came from very normal families. It was clear that neither of them had been raised in connection with spiritual abilities of any kind. However, while they did know about the students who had been raised with magic, they had reacted quite calmly to their existence. Their reaction probably wasn’t the norm though. The way they interacted with Izumiko hadn’t changed at all either.

The people Honoka collected for student government all must have something special in common, but I wonder what it is… Izumiko thought quietly to herself.

Hodaka and Honoka’s student government had turned itself into a well-functioning group over the past few months, but they had to have all been chosen for some quality they showed. Izumiko was just grateful that no one had been treating her differently since everything with Takayanagi.

The bespectacled duo had liked Miyuki from the start, and Miyuki had gotten along with the older students as well. He seemed to have a respect for their deep knowledge of everything two dimensional. Izumiko could tell that the duo was quite intelligent as well. They just really didn’t care much about anything outside of their own interests.

That day, as Hoshino, Okouchi, Miyuki, and Izumiko were talking, Hoshino said out of nowhere, “Did you know? December 25th, the day that everyone thinks is Jesus Christ’s birthday, was actually decided on by the Christian church after the Council of Nicaea that was held in 325 AD. The Roman empire was showing off the authority it had at the time, and they set the date to intercede with the Mithraic winter solstice. December 25th was the date of that holiday.”

Miyuki looked at Hoshino, and then let out a small laugh. “Does that mean you’re interested in a Christmas event all of a sudden?”

“If this is all common knowledge to the exchange students, it would be embarrassing if I didn’t know it. It was interesting to look things up. Listen to this,” Hoshino continued enthusiastically. “The headquarters of the Greenland International Santa Claus Association is in Copenhagen, and they talk about people becoming certified Santa Clauses on TV and stuff. Also, Scandinavia is seen as Santa Claus’s home. But in Scandinavia, the word they use for Christmas, Yule, is actually the Germanic winter solstice that dates back to before Christianity. Old Man Santa doesn’t appear in that old European festival. Instead, there’s a spirit of some kind who doesn’t give nice presents to anyone. It’s kind of like the Namahage here in Japan. It’s a demon that goes around scaring little kids into behaving well.”  

The image of a man dressed up in a demon mask and a straw cape with a sword in his hand going door to door during a festival came to Izumiko’s mind. She had seen it on TV at some point.

“The Namahage is from the Touhoku region in the northeast, right?” she asked. “He’s part of one of their festivals.”

“Yes, yes. He’s the one that goes, “Are there any bad kids here? Are there any crybabies here?”” Okouchi said, his expression serious as he took on the demon’s role for a second.

“The Christmas that Japanese people are used to comes from the US,” he continued. “And US Christmas comes from England. We’re used to the Christmas traditions that come from the English speaking part of the world, but there are many different traditions beyond those. The reason why western Christmas has rooted itself so deeply here in Japan is because Emperor Taisho died on December 25th and the day became a national holiday. It became a normal day again after World War II, but decorating Christmas trees, Santa Claus’s presents, and the winter sales war remain.”

“Have you been researching Christmas too, Okouchi?” Miyuki said doubtfully.

“I need to be prepared so that this doesn’t become a Christian based event. I’m doing this for President Honoka, too.” Okouchi went back to typing on his keyboard. “Christmas trees appear in winter solstice festivals that predate Christianity. Decorating houses with boughs from pine trees comes from early, non-Christian traditions. Decorating with evergreens is said to keep away evil spirits and attract good luck. We decorate with pine branches in a similar way here in Japan. After December 25th became Christ’s birthday, Germany began the tradition of decorating trees in the early modern era. It apparently then spread to England through the royal family. When Europeans first came to America, Christmas trees were one of the customs they rejected as being pagan. They were Puritans after all.”

“Wow. That’s unbelievable,” Izumiko said, her eyes wide. “So, Christmas trees are a pagan tradition. Decorated trees and the way we hang pine boughs outside people’s homes seem really different, though. Do they really still have the same basis in their meanings?”

Seeing Izumiko’s involvement in the conversation, Hoshino continued with increased vigor. “Speaking of original meanings, the connection between Christmas and the Wild Hunt is also interesting. There’s a legend about a hunt that takes place during the time between Halloween and the winter solstice. The hunting party is made up of fairies, the dead, and their black hunting dogs. That’s the Wild Hunt. The stories originated in Europe, and there are lots of different versions of it, but because any human who sees the hunt dies, it’s basically the same as Japan’s Night Parade of One Hundred Demons. However, if children put offerings in their stockings on the night before Winter Solstice, Germen folk stories say they’ll receive presents in those stockings from the Wild Hunt the next morning. ”

“Is that where leaving candy in Christmas stockings comes from?” Izumiko asked.

Miyuki made a sour face. “Please use this time to study for the exams, you two. Don’t waste the rest of your time wrapped up in this.”

“We’re getting wrapped up in this because it’s just before the exam,” Hoshino said. “Without fail, I always feel the need to read a big fat book right before exams.”

“Ah, me too.” Okouchi agreed.

The two of them made a few comments about their extensive stock of knowledge, but the conversation ended quickly after that. It wasn’t because they were bothering Miyuki though. They had simply said all that they needed to. Most likely, Okouchi and Hoshino had not been ignoring their studies, they had simply wanted to give Izumiko and Miyuki a break from their own work.

Quick break or not, Izumiko had been surprised by what she had just hard, and she couldn’t easily stop thinking about it. Even after parting from the bespectacled duo, she was still mulling over the information.

“I didn’t know that Christmas had its roots in a pagan holiday. Maybe I’ll do some research on it too… I’ve never heard of the Wild Hunt either. If they were comparing it to the Night Parade of One Hundred Demons, the legends should be from around the Heian era probably. The Night Parade is mentioned in an Abe no Seimei story, isn’t it…”

“Don’t get pulled into this, Izumiko. We’re focusing on math right now,” Miyuki said, giving her a frightening look. “If you do the same thing they’re doing, you’ll waste all your time. Those two have the impressive ability of being able to switch back and forth between topics in an instant.”

“Had you heard about what they said before?”

“Most people wouldn’t know those things. I’ve only ever thought of Christmas as a day where kids ask their parents for things they want.”

“So, a present day?”

Sensing that Izumiko could no longer concentrate on the problem set, Miyuki gave up for the time being and answered her question.

“Okouchi was right when he mentioned the sales war. Isn’t that really what Christmas is for most people besides people who believe in it?”

“I never got any presents on Christmas,” Izumiko replied. “Were you someone who did?”  

“I don’t just get stuff. I have to ask Yukimasa for it. If I bug him about something I need, he’ll get me whatever I want. He’s such a bad parent. I guess it’s his way of making up for leaving me alone so much,” Miyuki said bluntly.

The dry relationship between him and his father was quite evident at that moment. He didn’t seem as close-lipped as he usually was when Yukimasa came up in conversation though. He was speaking calmly.

Izumiko expanded upon the question she had already asked.

“Did you ever get a Christmas present from anyone? Like from a kid at school or something?”

“Yeah, I got a few of those.”

“From girls?”

Hearing this, Miyuki looked at Izumiko in surprise. “Well… some. We had present exchanges and Christmas parties, after all.”

“I’ve never been to a Christmas party. But I’d see presents during the cold season with their pretty wrapping paper and ribbons, and I always thought it would make me feel really good to get one. They have a different feel to them from getting New Year’s money,” Izumiko said, thinking about it yearningly.

She had never been able to experience a Christmas party when her school life had depended on being driven back and forth from the shrine to school in Mr. Nonomura’s car. She only knew about them from what she had heard from other people.

Miyuki gave a little laugh as if he found her life detached from the rest of the world strange.

“Unexpected Christmas presents do make people happy. You end up wondering how the other person knew you wanted whatever it was that they gave you.”

“Are you talking about something you got from a girl?”

“Why are you getting so particular about this? I get Christmas presents every year. That’s why Yukimasa can’t ignore the day either and gives me something. The sender’s name is never anywhere on the box, but it’s probably from Kaori. I have a feeling that it comes through Mr. Sengoku.”

Izumiko blinked at the unusually personal story he had just told her. Kaori was the name of Miyuki’s mother who had divorced Yukimasa years ago.

“Does your mom live in the mountains? Mr. Sengoku is the ascetic monk you trained with on Mt. Haguro, right?”

“I have no idea where Kaori is now. I heard that she got remarried a long time ago. That’s why I haven’t seen her or talked to her since she left. I just get a present with no name on Christmas.”

Miyuki showed no emotion at all, but all the same, Izumiko could sense how he was feeling. Even though he hadn’t seen his mother in all this time, she still had a big place in his heart.

After a moment of thought, Miyuki ended the conversation with a note of finality. “Mr. Sengoku is Kaori’s uncle. He’s the only person I know in the Sengoku family. Let’s stop talking about Christmas. We can talk about it more after the exams when we can relax.”

Izumiko knew how much it had taken Miyuki to share this story with her, so she didn’t want to make him angry by spacing out on the math problems he had prepared for her. She dropped her head back to the problem set, and diligently returned to her work on the equations.

Keep reading!

[penguinssupersecretsafehouse]

Fox’s Batman spinoff Gotham is coming to an end after five seasons. After introducing the origins of Batman’s most noteworthy villains, young Bruce Wayne (David Mazouz) is finally wearing the batsuit. The finale promises to take us 10 years into Gotham’s future to see what has become of all these famous characters.

After the last Gotham panel for the Television Critics Association, we spoke with Robin Lord Taylor, who plays the show’s Oswald Cobblepot. Taylor had promised that the flash-forward sees him in a fat suit as The Penguin. Gotham airs Thursdays at 8pm ET/PT on Fox.

Is there any chance of redemption for Oswald?

Robin Lord Taylor: “Oswald is a story of ultimate corruption and what it does to a person. We see someone who, even though he had been through a traumatic childhood with intense bullying as he was growing up, he was able to still retain a piece of humanity, a piece of empathy inside there. As we go along, that slowly dies, and dies because that’s what Gotham does to him.

His redemption will be in small moments where he chooses to respect life and he chooses to have an alliance with someone, like Ed Nygma, to trust them. Those are redemptive moments for a person who is on the ultimate track towards complete corruption.”

You’ve done the Penguin walk. Does the fat suit change that even more?

Robin Lord Taylor: “It just emphasizes it. I didn’t mean to sound too flippant about it. I felt very lucky again to have, as we go into the future, to have a physicality that represented those 10 years leading up to that moment. I talk about corruption and being unhealthy and someone slowly dying and punishing themselves, that’s what we get to illustrate in the final episode. Just to be able to inhabit an altered body and let those 10 years manifest itself physically was a really amazing gift for an actor.”

What was it like having Paul Reubens as your dad?

Robin Lord Taylor: “Oh, just a dream come true. I’m exactly that generation who watched Pee-Wee’s Playhouse when it was on Saturday mornings. When I was a kid, it was Michael Jackson and it was Pee-Wee Herman. I had also, as I grew older, learned who Paul Reubens was and how he created that character and also this other stuff that he’s done over his career with the Groundlings and what not. And then he’s playing my dad and to have him be the only correlation between the film universe and what we were doing on our show, to have it be related to The Penguin was just such an honor. He also played The Penguin’s father in Batman Returns.”

Did you fanboy around him?

Robin Lord Taylor: “Absolutely and then we became such close friends. I actually met him before he was cast to play my father. I became friends with Carol Kane who played my mother. First of all, I have the best TV parents you could possibly imagine, Carol Kane and Paul Reubens, forget about it. Carol and I live in the same neighborhood in New York so she invited me to breakfast one morning. She was like, ‘Oh, my friend Paul will be there,’ whoever Paul is. I walk in, it’s Paul Reubens. She of course didn’t even think that that would be startling or a big deal to me and she’s amazing.

Anyway, we met and we connected and he told me, and I knew of course, he reminded me, ‘You know, I played Penguin’s father. Who knows, maybe this could be a spinoff.’ We took a picture of a family photo. I hadn’t even sent it to Danny and he texted me, ‘Paul Reubens is going to play your father.’ It was meant to be and somehow we all knew. We knew at that diner in New York City. Then he’s been nothing but a dear friend, just lovely in person.”

How have you changed over five seasons?

Robin Lord Taylor: “It’s funny. I think we are so intrinsically connected to these characters. In certain ways, my connection to Oswald, the thing that we do share is going from a place of he’s insane, a place of just such strong ambition but very little confidence to having those two kind of meet up. I feel more confident. I can say that I feel proud of what we’ve done and what I’ve done. Just to be able to own that and say this was my stamp on this iconic character and no one can ever take that away from me, I feel so excited for what’s next because I’ve never had that feeling before in my career.”

What do you want to do next?

Robin Lord Taylor: “I just want to be better. I want to do something different than Gotham. I feel like going forward, any other sci-fi, comic book thing could never hold a candle to this character so going forward, I’d like to find something that’s a little bit more rooted in reality, whatever that means, if that’s theater, if that’s TV.”

Do people look at you now for villains?

Robin Lord Taylor: “It’s all types. Yes, typecasting is a reality, but at the same time, I recognize if the character is directly too close to anything that happened on Gotham, then it’s a hard no for me.”

‘Gotham’ stars Cory Michael Smith and Robin Lord Taylor during the 2019 Fox Winter TCA panel (Photo by Frank Micelotta / FOX / PictureGroup)

Is your hair and look part of changing your appearance post-Gotham?

Robin Lord Taylor: “This is just me going back to myself. I complained about it over the years with the hair dying and wearing the fake nose and being in extra makeup, it wears on you especially when you’re not able to be yourself when you’re not shooting. I would have to keep dying the hair over the hiatus. It got frustrating, but then at the same time, when it’s over, I have a physical reset as well as emotional one.”

Do people recognize you?

Robin Lord Taylor: “Not nearly as much. It’s fantastic. Flight attendants and TSA people, people who have to look at your face and engage with you, that’s usually when it happens.”

Were you afraid starting out that this could be it for you?

Robin Lord Taylor: “Absolutely. I was terrified. At the same time, it’s all relative. I think about right now having been through the polar vortex in New York City a couple weeks ago, it was about six degrees. Then the next couple days, it warmed up to maybe 25 and you’d go outside and you’re like, ‘I could take my clothes off and walk around, it’s so warm out.’ At the time, I was terrified but I was also coming off of 14 years of, again, how am I going to make my rent? Am I going to have to go back to graduate school? How do I explain this to my parents that it didn’t work out? It’s all these terrifying questions that working actors face every single day. So even if I knew, even if this hadn’t worked out, at least I had a job.”

When you go back home, do they see you as a successful actor?

Robin Lord Taylor: “My mom and dad, my parents, it was very important to them to make sure that we didn’t live our lives with regret. So they always very much believed in us, but yeah, there’s a little bit of my mom is very smooth and she’s cool, but I can hear that little tinge of relief every time she talks about, ‘The show is wrapping up but he’s in a good place.’ I can just hear those years of all that fear. She’s relieved which is good. That’s the best gift I could give them.”