#and yeah based on my initial viewings this is how I would rank them

[dreamboatsandtrenchcoats]

Ticket to Heaven is my most highly anticipated show out of all of these, I've been waiting for Fourth and Gemini to star in a more serious show since Midnight Chicken and that trailer did NOT disappoint.

A Dog and a Plane is probably my next most anticipated. I love TayNew and that trailer looked like so much fun, and exceed my expectations.

Anything in rows S-B I'll more then likely check out/watch though, there was a lot of good stuff going on here though!

[caelestis-composition]

killshot anon! YEAH i totally agree w/ your view on kaeya. it's so weird to me that people will blame him for his role in a situation he was forced into as a child through no choice of his own. that itself had to be traumatic, not to mention everything that happened later. i hate when people say he's untrustworthy - like yeah, he's lied, so has everyone? it's clear he does it mostly to protect himself. not to mention that (& sadism) can be symptoms of trauma. kaeya deserves nothing but happiness

take a seat folks it’s time for a “brynn should’ve been an english major” lesson! today we’re gonna learn some literary theory; specifically, we’re gonna apply psychoanalytical trauma theory to kaeya’s backstory and current character. killshot anon i bet you never thought this would result in a whole ass essay.

disclaimer one! you are allowed to dislike kaeya! i am not saying you need to like him or his character, you’re entitled to your opinion and i’m not here to change your mind.

disclaimer two! i am in no way an expert and this is all for fun! this is just my silly little analysis of one of my favorite characters as someone who’s studied literary theory and rhetoric and can also apply personal experience. seriously analysis is like a hobby to me and this is just an excuse for me to ramble about kaeya.

disclaimer three! this contains lots of spoilers! basically for everything we know in-game, general knowledge as well as stuff from his voicelines and character story. don’t read this if you don’t want spoilers.

since this is going to be filled with spoilers and is about to get really long, everything will be under a cut. for those who wanna read my dumb super informal essay: enjoy!

final note: yeah this is over 2000 words long can you tell i like analysis

⭒

let’s start by getting a quick rundown of trauma theory out of the way. to begin, what is “trauma?” in this case, trauma is going to refer to an experience that greatly affects and changes one’s life; attitudes, memories, behaviors, mental state, etc. while not all changes may be bad, per se, the overall effect of trauma is generally a negative one, which is why it’s so significant. literary trauma theory, then, explores these changes and the impact of trauma in literature. it analyzes the psychological and social effects of trauma, explaining what those effects are and why they happen. in the context of a specific character, trauma theory breaks down said character’s behaviors, feelings, and general mentality in relation to their past experiences; trauma theory hopes to explain to others the reasons for why a character may act or feel the way they do, all based upon the character’s experiences, particularly traumatic ones. our character today is the lovely kaeya alberich, with the “literature” being genshin impact. i’ll be referencing kaeya’s wiki page to ensure i get all details correct for his character story and voicelines.

it would be good to review kaeya’s backstory before delving into the actual analysis. though we don’t know much about his life before living in mondstadt, we’re told he was sent as an agent of khaenri’ah. and by “sent,” i mean his biological father abandoned him in a completely unfamiliar land to serve khaenri’ah’s interests and fullfil his mission—what this entirely entails hasn’t been revealed. mondstadt, however, welcomed kaeya “with open arms when they found him.” crepus ragnvindr took him in as his adopted son, with diluc as his adopted brother. kaeya and diluc were “almost like twins,” so close they “[knew] each other’s thoughts and intentions without a word.” he’d began a new life in mondstadt, one surrounded by friends and family that loved him; one that was completely shattered by crepus’s death. kaeya arrived at the scene of the disaster, and was led to believe diluc was the one who killed their father to “set his father free” from the effects of his delusion. there’d always been one big question in kaeya’s life: if it came down to it, who would he support? the nation that abandoned him, but he still felt loyal to, or the nation and family that took him in and really loved him? overrun with guilt, kaeya confessed his purpose to diluc, sparking a fight between the two brothers. in this fight, kaeya receives his cryo vision. though both brothers stepped away alive, they’ve never been able to make peace with one another. now, kaeya is the eccentric and charming cavalry captain of the knights of favonius; a man who gets his way by using any means necessary, regardless of whether or not it seems right.

kaeya’s not evil; he’s morally ambiguous, and that stems from what appears to be a general distrust of others. his life is one shrouded in secrecy. from the moment he stepped foot into mondstadt, he was surrounded by secrets. even now, he doesn’t talk about a lot of things, namely his past, vision, and feelings. though he’s always willing to get information out of others, kaeya never reveals anything about himself. he repeatedly tells the player they can confide in him, but whenever you try and pry into his life, he deflects your questions with some sort of witty comment or flirty remark. anything he does reveal is vague, or spoken in some sort of “code.” for example, his “interesting things” voiceline. he tells us about the owl of dragonspine, how it “seems to look right through you, while letting go of none of its own secrets,” and then tacks on a “quite fascinating, don’t you think?” it seems like an awfully accurate parallel to himself; kaeya does all he can to get information from others, but never gives anything about himself. now, this whole thing—his relationship with diluc falling apart and his need for secrecy—could have probably been avoided if he had just come clean about his mission years ago. so why didn’t he? to start, kaeya was a literal child. not only are children unable to properly tell the difference between right and wrong, but they’ll also typically follow their parents’ orders blindly. kaeya had just been abandoned, and he wouldn’t want to risk being cast out by mondstadt as well if he came clean right away. you see, there’s this thing about trauma, something that trauma theory states. traumatized people feel a sort of shame or guilt regarding their traumatic experience; they’ll keep quiet because they don’t want to cause problems or bother others with their issues. of course kaeya wouldn’t tell the truth about his past, he doesn’t want to destroy the genuinely loving relationships he’d built in mondstadt. his fight with diluc only proves what he was afraid of: if he’s honest, he’ll be abandoned again. and if kaeya’s used to all the lies, why should he bother changing?

another thing, if he’s not going to tell the truth, then why would he have initially gone along with his father’s plans? again, he was a child. he really had no choice, and was forced into a very wrong and cruel situation. there’s a good explanation for this, too, which is also stated in trauma theory; traumatized people will still do their best to please their abusers. especially if said abuser is a parent, that will drive traumatized people to work even harder to please them. although his father hurt him by ruthlessly abandoning him, kaeya still sought to make him and his homeland proud. he was willing to be used as a tool for their gain; that is, until he found people who actually cared about him. he was an impressionable child, of course he’s going to obey orders. but as he gets older, he feels torn. does he serve those who abandoned him, or those that took him in? his father—and arguably, khaenri’ah as a whole—hurt him, sure, but he still feels some loyalty and connection to his former home. instead of revealing anything, he lets the situation play out. that way, he can’t be blamed when things fall apart.

the thing about claiming he’s untrustworthy is that hardly anyone in-game believes that. he’s adored by the older folks in mondstadt, and foes and allies alike find him easy to talk to. despite seeming lazy and uninterested in work, kaeya takes his job very seriously. in fact, his story states that crepus’s death was the “first and only time kaeya failed in his duty.” the “only time” is especially important, because it signifies kaeya still fulfills his duties successfully. he’s had a total of one slip-up, and hasn’t failed since. no, kaeya is not untrustworthy. rather, kaeya finds everyone else untrustworthy. it’s not unlikely that this is a direct consequence of being abandoned as a child. although it’s been established that kaeya and diluc were very close as children, when crepus dies, kaeya assumes diluc is the one that killed him. in order to jump to such an extreme conclusion against someone he was so close to, there had to be some underlying sense of distrust. furthermore, kaeya expresses feeling as though he doesn’t belong anywhere. he was abandoned by khaenri’ah, and then worried he wouldn’t be accepted by mondstadt. he is, but there’s still that worry. if you place him in your teapot as a companion, he tells you that your home feels like someplace he belongs, following it up with a “heh, who’d have thought…” kaeya still feels as though he doesn’t belong in mondstadt; despite the fact that he’s a high-ranking knight of favonius and rather popular, he still feels like an outsider. he doesn’t trust that anyone actually wants him around, and he finds joy in testing peoples’ trustworthiness. it’s noted in his story and through his voicelines that the beloved cavalry captain has a rather sadistic nature. he likes putting people into difficult situations, to see what decisions they will make. he does this to both opponents and allies, testing to see who’s going to back out and who’ll keep fighting; in the sake of allies, who can he trust? or who will turn tail and abandon their teammates at the slightest hint of danger? i mentioned it previously, but kaeya doesn’t care what measures he has to take so long as his job gets done and he gets the answers he wants. it’s a sort of self-preserving mindset, putting himself above the safety of others. kaeya’s trying to protect himself, which makes sense with all he’s been through. he doesn’t want to be hurt, and instead finds pleasure in threatening harm upon others. it’s twisted, sure, but it’s because he can only trust himself in a world that he believes is out to get him. he’s got as many enemies—if not more—as he does allies; of course kaeya focuses on protecting himself first, whether physically or through keeping his secrets, well, secret.

his most obvious traumatic effect is definitely his alcoholism. but he uses it as a distraction, not just to wallow in self-pity. this is seen again in his story, particularly in story 3. it’s found that when his favorite drink, death after noon, is out of season, mondstadt’s crime rate is decreased drastically. at face value, this just means kaeya spends more time working when death after noon is low in supply. but kaeya doesn’t skip work to go to taverns; it’s already been established he takes his job very seriously, so this means he actually patrols and tracks down threats while off work when he can’t indulge in his favorite alcoholic drink. he doesn’t get drunk simply because he’s depressed. if he did, there wouldn’t be a drop in incidents when death after noon is out of season. no, kaeya uses both the alcohol and fighting to distract himself. after all, it’s a little hard to think about feeling sad when you’re either drunk out of your mind or fighting for your life.

despite being so secretive, kaeya gives us glimpses of his true emotions from time to time. as previously mentioned, his flirty attitude is nothing more than a mask to hide how he really feels; and kaeya is terribly, terribly lonely. that may be why he seems so extroverted. constantly being around people should, logically, drive away that feeling, but it doesn’t work like that. when he talks with the player, he frequently expresses disappointment when you have to leave. each time, though, he dampens the weight of his words with playful or flirty language. he’s lonely, but doesn’t want you to know that, like he’s afraid of asking you to stay. he takes the seriousness of his feelings, and basically bends it into some sort of lighthearted joke. kaeya hides his true feelings—negative feelings, to be exact—so that he doesn’t bother anyone. which is, again, something that happens with traumatized people. he displays that hesitance to reveal his true feelings, because there’s a shame or guilt that comes with his past. he doesn’t want to bother others or hold them back, so he puts on a smile and amps up the charisma. one other very important thing—but very small detail—i would like to note is his feelings toward family. his fell apart not even once, but twice, and kaeya still holds familial relationships in high regard. we know he doesn’t exactly care how he goes about getting his work done. he doesn’t pay attention to what’s “right” or “wrong,” so long as he gets what he needs. but one of his informants, vile, notes that the cavalry captain has one exception: he won’t work with those who threaten others’ families. in fact, kaeya claims those who do should be hunted down and destroyed. even though his own families have caused him so much pain—and he ended up estranged from both—he still understands the importance of having people who love you in your life. because he didn’t get that.

kaeya’s not evil. ultimately, as a knight of favonius, his goal is to protect others, because no one was there to protect him. and because no one was there to protect him, because he’s been hurt time and time again by people who were supposed to love him, kaeya has taken to protecting himself. he hides any and all negative feelings with a charismatic, friendly façade, because he thinks it’ll drive away his persistent loneliness. any “bad” actions of his were hardly his fault; he was forced into a life of secrecy and lies, and then abandoned by the first people who truly loved him. kaeya’s a multi-faceted, tragic character, one that toes the line between good and evil, and that’s what makes him so interesting.

[mrs-tsunderemeitantei]

Do you have anyone that you ship Shiho with?

Can I just say, I love how straightforward you are! And for that, I thank you 😂💛

Ok so there are two Shiho ships that I am honestly obsessed with. They're both not popular, but that's just my opinion...

The first ship would be GinxSherry. Now let me start off by saying this is not a ship I support for the current timeline, BUT it's a ship I think made sense before she escaped the BO.

So many people will disagree and I get it.

Isn't it a toxic ship? Yes.

Isn't it based on extreme unhealthy obsession on Gin's part? Yes.

Isn't it full of betrayal, pain and mind games? Yes.

So how?? Look, I'm crazy and I know it. I'll be honest, one of the reasons I like this ship is because it's different from all the other love plot lines in the manga. They're all lovey-dovey and cutesy, and well, it's over-done. This dark, more adult version is more my style.

There were a few hints and teasings about the GinxSherry pairing being canon but I still need the confirmation because I'm dying to know more. They don't just know each other on a professional level, they KNOW each other very well. They know intimate details about each other; he knows her favourite colour, she knows his favourite car model, he can identify her from just a single strand of her hair and they both can predict how the other will behave in certain situations. Like come on, they know each other way too well for just 'work colleagues'. Also that's another thing I find interesting. She's a scientist and he's an assassin. They work in two completely different departments, yet they know each other so well.

So, yeah I can't help but think they got caught up with each other in a whirlwind romance (as cheesy as it sounds). And there are multiple reasons why I'm convinced they were in an actual relationship before she escaped the BO:

Let's be honest, betrayals hurt way more when the person you love does it to you. And I can't help but sense the palpable bitterness they have between them.

Also his unrelenting jealousy when he thought she is now running away with another man after the Haido City Hotel incident. You can't be that worked up if you were just work colleagues.

His reaction to her 'death' when Vermouth told him Bourbon saw her burn up in flames at the end of the Bell Tree Train arc, was not that of someone finally relieved his enemy was dead. His reaction was underwhelming and it seemed too indifferent.

The suggestive things they said to each other at the rooftop of Haido City Hotel was more that of scorned exes and not ex colleagues.

And finally which is the most obvious, he always imagined her nude whenever he thought of her, soooo they must have gotten intimate at some point.

When I think of this pairing, I can't help but think he thought of her as the light to his darkness. But because they're different people at their core, who share different views and morals, their distrust of one another got the best of them which lead to the tragic end of their relationship. If there's one spin-off, I'd pay to watch, is one that's about their history together. I need to see it unfold all the way to their downfall. Yes, I crave tragedy , don't judge me 😂

The second ship, I've not really been shy about. It is ReixShiho. This ship has sooooo much potential and I've already prepared myself for the disappointment that it won't happen because of the Reishipthatshallnotbenamed is more popular 😒 but anywho 😂

Why do I love it? I spoke about that multiple times but I think the ship I love so much, deserves a proper post so here we are.

First off, if my gut feeling is right, I think they'll have great chemistry. Their personalities would fit sooo well, I just see it. She is calm, cool, reserved, and he is warm, friendlier and more outgoing. And it goes without saying that they're both as some have said are 'intellectual equals' because they're both intelligent.

Secondly, their past experiences are not just connected, but they're also similar. It would be easy for them to understand and relate to what the other is going through as well as find comfort in one another because of the following reasons:

They both know what it's like to lose all your loved ones (she lost her family, he lost all his best friends and idk why but I think he was an orphan since nothing about his family has been disclosed yet).

They were both high-ranking members of the BO. They were forced to do things against their will, so they know how dark and twisted the world can be.

They're both mixed kids who had a hard time when growing up to be accepted by people because of it (she was shunned in the States and was forced to eat alone and he quarrelled with children who made fun of how he looked).

They both feel wronged by Akai who they believe is the main reason for the death of Akemi and Hiro.

All those reasons make me believe they would get along really well. That is not to say she'll welcome him with open arms at first and he'd probably be hella judgey at first but once all is revealed and the misunderstandings cleared, they'd be one badass pair. I know so many Shiho fans are mad at him for planning to sell her out but I already talked about it in a lengthy post. And while I was initially shocked and angry, it all made sense. Also an enemies to lovers archetype...are you kidding me? YES PLEASE!! 😭😭

So, there you have it my friend. These are my thoughts. And whatever happens, all I care about is for her to have closure and a happy ending. It doesn't necessarily need to entail a relationship for her to be happy. She is an amazing character as is with or without a love interest, but if I had to choose, these are the pairings that I like for her.

[fallout4reactsblog]

What if a sole survivor that’s a teenager(like 14-16 years old) begins to view the companions and faction leaders as parental figures, before slipping up and accidentally calling them “mom” or “dad”? Just a thought.

Ada: “Ah, shit.”

Sole patted themself down, checking their pockets, before sighing. “I knew I should’ve taken the time to skin those mole rats.”

“Is something missing?”

Curious, Ada leaned over to check the project they were working on. They slid to the side to accomodate her.

“I just don’t have enough leather to finish my armor mods. I wanted to put some pockets in my chestplate so I could carry a couple extra rolls of duct tape, but I don’t think it’s going to happen.”

“Leather?”

She checked back through her mental inventory, sizing up what she was carrying. Enamel bucket, ashtrays, pack of cigarettes...

“Ah, here we are.” She pulled out a baseball glove and handed it over. “Will this suffice?”

“Oh, yeah, this is perfect!” They beamed. “Thanks, Mom.”

“Anytime.”

If either of them noticed sole’s little slip-up, neither of them said a thing.

Cait: Sole reminded her too much of herself, some days. She knew their jaded expression, their thousand-yard stare, the haunted look of a kid who’d seen more than they should have. She knew more about them than they’d probably like, which was how she knew to stop them before they could do something they’d regret in the long run.

“No chems,” she said, plucking the canister of X-Cell out of their hands before they could get too close a look at it. It still felt dusty from its years laying in a Concord Speakeasy, and she wiped her hand on her pants.

“I know,” they huffed, rocking back on their heels. “I was just looking.”

“Well, don’t.” She tucked it into a back pocket, making a mental note to either toss it in the closest river or sell it first chance she got.

“It’s not like anything bad can happen from just looking at it, Cait. I wasn’t even thinking about it.”

“You better not have been. If you start doin’ that shite-”

“I know.” Somehow, their tone remained patient. “I promised I wouldn’t do chems, and I won’t, okay, Mom?”

The breath left her like she’d been sucker punched. For a moment, all she could do was stand there, eyes wide, unable to form a thought, much less words. Was it really like that? Had she really let things go this far? How long until she ended up like-

“I mean, uh, Cait.”

She glanced up to see their face beginning to turn red, and they ducked their head.

“Sorry, it just slipped out. I don’t, I mean, I didn’t-” They huffed. “Sorry. I know you don’t want to be a parent or anything, and I don’t mean that you should, I just...”

They prattled on nervously, as if trying to comfort both of them, words going right past Cait’s head. To think sole thought of her as a mother. She couldn’t have that responsibility. Her parents had been trusted with a child, and look how she’d turned out. She couldn’t take that risk, not with sole, not when at any moment some switch could flip inside her and she’d turn into the monsters that had raised her.

She’d known this was a bad idea, right from the start.

Codsworth: “I was thinking about putting another mod on my pistol today,” they said, hunched over the kitchen table. They were poking at some circuit board or another, something that they’d never have been allowed to touch before the war. He eyed the screwdriver in their hands warily.

“A fine idea,” he said, resigning himself once again to the fact that a new world meant a new way of life for mum and sir’s child. “Perhaps a larger magazine?”

They chewed their lower lip thoughtfully, tightening a screw. “I was thinking something more quick-eject, you know? Speed in battle and all.”

He couldn’t argue with that.

“The only reason I hadn’t done it was I needed some more adhesive. But since Carla stopped by again and she had some duct tape, we should be set.”

“As I recall, Miss Carla had more than enough for an extra set of sights as well. You asked me to remind you when you had enough material for a large scope, and by my measure, you should be there now.”

“Oh, yeah, I forgot about that.” They nodded thoughtfully. “We can get that old hunting rifle in working order again. Thanks, Dad.”

He froze. Dad? Him? No, that wasn’t right. But they’d said it so casually, as if they hadn’t even realized they were saying it. Surely, they couldn’t have forgotten sir already. They’d had years with him as their father. Such things couldn’t be forgotten so easily.

“Sole.” He tried not to make his tone sound warning.

They, too, seemed to have realized what they’d said, ears beginning to turn red. “Sorry, Codsworth. I was just working and not thinking about it, and-”

“It’s alright. Such slip-ups happen, after all! We’ll just have to make sure it doesn’t become a habit. After all, I’m simply the family Mr. Handy. Hardly a father. I wouldn’t want to take sir’s place.”

“Right, right. Sorry.”

“No need for apologies! We’ll simply call this a learning moment, for both of us.”

They sighed, “Sounds fair,” and returned to their work.

Curie: “You have your stimpaks, yes?”

They patted a pocket. “Got ‘em right here.”

“And your bandages?”

“In my bag.”

“Extra ammunition?”

They sighed. “Stop fussing, Mom. I told you, I’ve got everything I need.”

She pursed her lips and cocked her head to the side. That was certainly an... interesting choice of words. 

“You see me as a maternal figure?”

“What?” They adjusted the straps on their bag, refusing to make eye contact.

“You referred to me as your mother. I am simply curious when you began to perceive me in such a role.”

“I don’t.” Their cheeks flushed, and they turned away further. “I didn’t call you ‘Mom,’ either.”

“Oh, but there is no need to be embarrassed! It is only natural for such things to happen. Your brain is still maturing, and as the primary provider of such maternal care in your life, it is predictable that you would-”

“Okay, okay, I’m leaving now.” They turned hastily to the door. “I’ll see you in a few days, Curie.”

“Certainly. Au revoir.”

As she watched their retreating back, she let herself consider the happy hum in her chest. Did she want to be sole’s mother? Was it that she wanted to be their mother specifically, or was there simply a general maternal instinct that was now surfacing? It was intriguing that such an instinct could exist in her, since she could never have children, but perhaps there was some lingering Ms. Nanny instinct that was affecting her. No matter what, it was certainly interesting.

If sole saw her as a maternal figure, she’d do her best to provide.

Danse: He found sole leaning against a wall, panting. There was blood splattered across their armor, gun dangling loosely from their fingers, but they were smiling, which was good enough for him.

“You look exhausted,” he said.

They laughed a little and smeared some of the blood from their cheek. “That was quite the fight. We should’ve brought some backup, huh?”

He glanced over at the scribe Quinlan had sent along, who had been of even less use than he’d expected, but decided to let that go and focus on sole. “I wouldn’t be so sure. You fared quite well on your own, and for your level of training your performance was impressive.”

Their eyes flicked over to meet his. “For real?”

“I would never lie to you, especially in your field evaluation. You’ve come a long way.”

He caught a hint of their smile before they ducked their head. “Thanks, Dad.”

He paused, sucking in a breath. While it wasn’t an uncommon mistake, it wasn’t one he was exactly willing to overlook. Still, best to approach things tactfully to avoid embarrassment for them. “What was that?”

They wouldn’t meet his eyes. “What was what?”

The scribe, tapping at the terminal, decided that was his moment to be useful. “You called Paladin Danse ‘Dad.’”

“No, I didn’t. I said, ‘Thanks, Danse.’”

He allowed himself a smile. “I didn’t know you saw me as a father figure, sole.”

“I don’t.” Still, their flush of embarrassment betrayed them.

He waved a hand through the air. “It’s alright, Knight. You wouldn’t be the first to refer to their sponsor as Mom or Dad, and I sincerely doubt you’ll be the last.”

Really, they were a good kid. Young initiates usually tended to find a substitute parental figure in the ranks, and of all sole’s options, he was glad it was him. He could keep them on the right track, make sure they didn’t go astray. With any luck, they could probably take his position someday. 

All in all, this was a good thing for both of them.

Deacon: “Deeks, how does this jacket look on me?”

He glanced up from the hats in Fallon’s Basement to see sole tugging on the sleeves of a leather jacket. It was a bit rough around the edges, but it was just worn enough that he could believe it had seen some action. It wasn’t really their style, though; Agent Whisper tended more toward a softer kind of spy work, based more on charisma and less on punching people in the face.

“I like it,” he said, rocking back on his heels. “It’s a new look for you.”

“I was thinking I should add a more badass disguise to my collection. Try for that intimidation factor every once in a while, you know?”

He tossed the idea around a moment before agreeing. “We could make it work. It’d need practice, though, and some other accessories.”

“We could go get a bat from Mo while we’re here.”

“Now you’re talking. You put a couple nails in that sucker, and boom. You’re halfway to badass city right there. We’ll just have to teach you how to actually use it so you don’t stab yourself by accident.”

“Yeah, sure, but you’ll teach me, right, Dad?”

He nearly choked. Shit. Did sole know something he didn’t? No, that couldn’t be true. He’d never had kids, despite how much Barbara wanted them. Plus, sole had known their father. He’d seen the body, still half in cryo in 111.

That left the fact that sole had come to see him as a father figure, which left him in the awkward position of either shutting that down, probably hurting their feelings in the process, or just letting it slide. But could he even consider the latter? He couldn’t be a father, not in this state. He couldn’t lie every other word and still consider himself a decent parental influence, now could he?

Still, that voice in the back of his head nagged, “Barbara would want you to say yes. She thought you’d be a good dad.”

“Deeks?”

They looked at him quizzically, obviously still looking for an answer.

He sighed and, just this once, gave in. “Sure, kid. I’ll teach you how. It’s not that much different from their intended use, really...”

Desdemona: She always had a certain fondness for sole’s reports. She never got to hear much about the missions, just a quick affirmation of success and not much else. Sole, though, sole always told her a story, starting from the beginning and highlighting anything that they thought was interesting.

“But, you know, they’re just raiders,” they said, twenty-some minutes after they’d started. “In the end, H2 got where he needed to go. Highrise will take it from here.”

She smiled and ruffled their hair, making them laugh. “Good work, agent. You’re making all of us proud.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

They froze immediately, realizing what they had said, but their moment of embarrassment was cut short by Tom’s sigh of relief.

“Finally! You know how long we’ve been waiting for this? You took so long to join the club.”

Glory caught sole’s look of confusion and added, “Everyone calls Dez ‘Mom’ at some point. It’s basically a rite of passage.”

They looked to Dez for affirmation, and she could only nod. 

“It’s true. It happens to everyone, sooner or later. I’m more than used to it by now.”

“You sure?” they asked, voice still hesitant.

“Positive. The only one that hasn’t is PAM, and she doesn’t have the capability.”

“Give her time,” Tom said. “She’ll get there.”

Gage: “You’re being stupid,” he snarled.

They glared back with surprising intensity. “You’re being a prick. You said yourself, I’m the Overboss. Things go how I want them to.”

How they’d managed that little trick, he didn’t know, but he hated it more and more every day. “Bein’ the Overboss doesn’t mean you don’t have to listen to anyone. You’re still new here. You better show me some respect.”

“Oh, fuck off, Dad,” they snapped.

That only pissed him off more. “What did you just call me, you little shit?”

They blinked, anger seeming to cool for a second. “Gage. What else?”

“No, you called me Dad.” His temper settled in return, hovering at a simmer. “Like this is some sort of family reunion or some shit.”

They snorted. “As if.”

“Don’t try and take it back now. I heard you.”

“You’re old and losing your hearing. Old fucker.”

His temper flared again, and despite that he knew they were baiting him, he couldn’t resist. “What was that?”

“What, I need to enunciate everything for you? Do you need your hearing aids, Grandpa?”

“What the fuck is a hearing aid?”

“What do you think, dumbass? It lets you hear better when you get old and lose your hearing. Like you.”

A knock on the door interrupted what he was going to say, and he snapped his mouth closed with irritation.

“Overboss?” The voice was muffled through the door. “Do you have a minute?”

“Yeah, just a sec.” They dusted their hands on their pants, anger instantly melting into a mask of cold determination. “Come on, Gage. Work to do.”

He huffed and resolved they would finish this later.

Hancock: He was always impressed with how well sole handled Goodneighbor. It went to show that they were much tougher than their age and pre-war softness let on; that this kid who looked like they’d never even handled a gun would shoot you without question if threatened. He’d seen how they’d handled Finn.

“Cold today,” they said, blowing into their hands. “This wind is killer. You wanna head inside and check up on things while I barter here?”

They gestured in the general direction of KLEO’s shop, and he chuckled. 

“I dunno. Maybe the big, bad mayor better stick around to make sure you don’t get yourself into more trouble.”

They rolled their eyes. “Come on, Dad. I can handle myself, you know.”

They realized their mistake before he did, eyes widening, jaw snapping shut. He faltered, snappy words dying in his mouth before he got hold of himself again. Dad? Were they kidding? Their face said they weren’t.

“Woah, now.” He held up his hands. “It ain’t like that, kid. I’m not exactly the fatherly type, y’know. Cool uncle, maybe, but I ain’t anybody’s Dad.”

They huffed, clearly embarrassed, and diverted him by saying, “Bet you’ve been more than one somebody’s Daddy, though.”

“That’s more like it.” He nudged them in KLEO’s direction. “You go do your shopping, and I’ll go make sure they ain’t burnin’ down my town while I’m away.”

“Sure. If I’m not here when you get back, I’ll be in Hotel Rexford.”

“Sounds fine. Get me somethin’ nice while you’re at it, huh?”

“Alright, but I’m charging you a convenience fee.”

Content that they were back on the same page, he agreed and went to find Fahrenheit.

MacCready: “Your fever’s gone down a little.” He rested a hand against their forehead. “Seems you’re gonna pull through.”

They smiled a little, eyes still hazy with sickness and medicine. Soon, they’d be on their feet again, he hoped.

“I bet you’re a good dad, Mac,” they said. “Duncan must really love you, huh?”

He let out a sigh. Sole had been strangely emotional ever since they got sick, which had annoyed him at first, but lately he’d just come to accept it. After all, there wasn’t much he could do about it, was there?

“Jeez, I don’t even know if he remembers me. It’s been a while since I got to see him.”

“He remembers you. I mean, I remember my dad, and he’s been dead for a couple hundred years now, I guess.” They laughed a little, as if they’d said something funny. “But you should go see him. Take a break. I’ll be fine without you.”

“Nah, we’ll go together. After all, he’ll probably want to meet you.”

“You think?”

“Yeah. He’ll probably see you as some kind of adopted older sibling or something. You’ll get along.”

They exhaustion in their laugh betrayed them. “Sure, whatever you say, Dad.”

There was a wryness in their voice, an almost mocking note that told him they’d meant it as a joke, but long after they’d fallen asleep, he sat at their bedside, watching them. He’d thought he was joking, too, but now that he was along with his thoughts, he had to wonder. Maybe he did want them to meet Duncan, and maybe he did want them to get along like siblings. Could he do that? Was that wrong?

He sighed and rose from his chair. No use worrying about it now. Sole had probably been joking about him going to DC anyway. After all, there was work to be done here.

They definitely weren’t going anywhere until they were better, though. For now, he had to focus on making sure they pulled through.

Maxson: He watched them across the table as they studied the map of the Commonwealth spread between them. It was a crude battle plan, mostly consisting of bottlecaps and buttons, but it was enough for them to discuss. He found he was regularly impressed by their knowledge in this area; in many ways, they reminded him of himself at that age.

“What if we swung south?” They pushed three bottlecaps across the table. “The way C.I.T is set up makes anything but a direct assault difficult, but we could try to split their forces, or at least their fire.”

He hummed, considering. “You’re still assuming we can’t assemble Prime in time.”

“Right. I’m concerned they’ll force our hand before we’re ready. We need to be prepared for that.”

“If you hope to split their fire, we’ll have to split our forces. That means we’ll need more men overall and be pulling more away from the airport, leaving us vulnerable.”

They scrunched their face as they thought about it. “You’re right, but in these circumstances we’re already at a disadvantage, don’t you think? We’re outgunned and outmanned.”

“Both of which can be overcome by outplanning them.” He leaned back in his chair. “What you lack in physical strength can often be overcome with mental acuity.”

They glanced away from the diorama to look at him. “That’s pretty good advice. Nice one, Dad.”

He felt his heart skip a beat. They had already returned to the diorama, now considering the forces around the airport, but he suddenly couldn’t focus. Sole considered him a father figure. Did he mean that much to them that he was someone they looked to for guidance, not just on the Prydwen, but in all aspects of their life? To be a father to them, to be able to guide them, was more than he could have ever asked for.

He cleared his throat. “I believe you mean ‘Elder,’ Knight.”

“Hm?” They looked up again.

“You referred to me as something else. I’m reminding you that the proper title is ‘Elder.’“

“Oh. My apologies, Elder. It won’t happen again.”

He sighed. “I ask that you’re careful around the others. That is all.”

They nodded, mind clearly already on other things.

Nick: He watched them poke around Earl Sterling’s apartment, careful eyes taking everything in. He lingered by the doorway, letting them do their thing, curious to see how it would play out. He was taking a bit of a risk letting them work the case, but he figured he could clean up any mistakes they made along the way.

Mistake number one was probably letting them pick up all those beers, but he figured as long as he watched them sell them all, it would be fine.

“Aha!”

Triumphant, they emerged from where they had crouched on the floor, brandishing a piece of paper.

“Find somethin’?” He flicked his cigarette to the side, nudging it out with the toe of his boot.

“Some sort of receipt, I think. Facial reconstruction with Dr. Crocker. Appointment date... should have been sometime around his disappearance.”

“That means ol’ Doc could’ve been the last to see Earl alive.” He nodded thoughtfully. “Good work, kid.”

They flushed with pride and perhaps a bit of embarrassment at the praise. “Thanks, Dad.”

He raised an eyebrow, hoping they would realize their mistake on their own, but they were busy tucking the receipt into their bag. It seemed as though they hadn’t noticed at all, and after a moment of thought, he decided not to mention it. After all, there was no need to embarrass them. They’d realize what they’d said eventually.

Plus, it was kind of nice, in a way.

Piper: “You’ve got ink on your face.���

Sole glanced up from the freshly-printed edition of the paper, fingers wandering to their cheekbone. “Here?”

“Little to the left.”

“Here?”

“Less to the left.”

“Here?”

“Oh, just hold still.”

She leaned over, wiping the ink off their cheek with her thumb. It smeared a little bit, but was a marked improvement, and she scrubbed the rest away with the heel of her glove.

“There you go. Good as new.”

They nodded and returned their attention to the paper. “Thanks, Mom.”

They seemed to realize immediately, eyes widening, and Piper felt a sharp pain in her chest. 

“Aw, Blue, you know I’m not really...”

They visibly deflated. “I know. I’m sorry, Piper.”

“Not like that.” She leaned forward, putting her coffee to the side. “I’m not upset by it. I’m just not that kind of person, that’s all. I’m like your older sister, not your Mom. I wouldn’t want to replace her. It’s not a big deal, just, you know, get it in your head.”

“Older sister?” That seemed to perk them up a bit, and she smiled.

“Yeah. You’re still part of the family, Blue. Just not like that.”

They smiled. “I guess I’ll take it.”

Preston: The first sign was always the quiet. Sole wasn’t likely to stay quiet for too long; they were always listening to the radio, humming or singing along. When it was quiet for too long, that usually meant they’d either wandered off without telling him, which was never good, or they’d fallen asleep somewhere.

Sign two was the glow of a lantern at the workbench. It wasn’t uncommon for them to work late into the night, but that was always accompanied by the sound of work: the screech of metal on metal, the hum of an engine, the rattling of loose hardware in its drawers. 

Quiet and light together meant they’d fallen asleep at the workbench. Again.

“Sole.” Gently, he shook their shoulder. “Come on. You can’t sleep here.”

They sat up, bleary-eyed, a sheet of orange plastic cut from a pumpkin stuck to their cheek. Almost unseeing, they looked up at him with a sleepy, questioning hum.

“Come on.” Gently, he pulled at their arm.

“Sorry, Dad.” They rubbed their eyes, rising on unsteady feet. “I’m going.”

A smile crept to his face as he led them across the Sanctuary street to their home, making sure they got settled. Almost instantly, they were asleep again, long hours of hard living catching up to them all at once. Quietly, he closed the door behind him.

It was too good to be true. They were just tired, and mistook him for their father in the dark. But still, a part of him wanted to believe that it was possible. Maybe he could be a father to sole. He could show them how to make it here, in this unfamiliar world, and support them as they grew into the General he knew they could be.

Maybe, just maybe, they would let him.

X6: He watched them pace back and forth in front of the door, coat tails swirling with every pivot. They adjusted their lapels for the fifth time, sighed, and glanced around for a clock.

“It’s only four twenty-five,” he said. “You’ve still got twenty-five minutes.”

They sighed and sank heavily into a chair. “Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

They groaned and dropped their head onto the table. “You said it was thirty minutes to go, like, an hour ago.”

“Five minutes ago.”

“Doesn’t feel like it.”

He set his gun on the table with a sigh and set his sunglasses beside them. “If you keep worrying about it, you’ll only work yourself up more, and the time will seem to pass slower. Your best move would be to get a cup of coffee and relax.”

“I can’t relax.” They leaned back in their chair. “It’s my first meeting as the director. Half of the Institute already hates me because I’m so young, so if I mess this up I’ll be out on the street by dawn. This is no time to relax.”

“If you don’t relax, you’ll be more likely to make a mistake.”

“I know, but it’s easier said than done, Dad.”

He blinked. At first, he wasn’t sure if he’d heard them properly, but his hearing was beyond satisfactory. If he’d heard it, they’d said it, but that didn’t mean anything.

“Case in point. You’re upset, you make mistakes. Like that.”

They sank their head into their hands. “You’re right. I’ll- I’ll get some coffee. Sorry.”

“There is no need to apologize. Humans make mistakes, after all.”

[suckishima]

reading some of your character analyses has made me view the boys from a different perspective and it’s just so mind blowing to me how articulate you are with your words that you swayed my opinions on them!! i haven’t gone through all of the asks but if you haven’t yet, could you do suna? he’s my absolute fav and i’m really curious about how you view him

Aww, thank you!! It's been a lot of fun for me to answer all these, especially for the characters I hadn't really thought about too deeply before haha. Suna is one of those characters for me too tbh 😆 so hopefully I'll have something interesting to say

First impression: i was kind of intrigued by him right away if i remember correctly. he seemed pretty disinterested and but simultaneously mildly amused by the twins' antics, and i thought that was a fun combo. plus, since haikyuu is a sports anime and has so much emphasis on hunger/passion for the game, i'm always interested to see how the more toned down characters will be portrayed. like he initially looks like he doesn't wanna be there, but he's a starter on a nationally ranked team so he must like the sport etc (and i knew furudate wouldn't just give us tsukki 2.0, despite their seemingly similar presentations) so yeah i remember being kind of keeping an eye out for his character when he was first intro'd. also also, his twisty band bend spike was cool and interesting

Impression now: i'm kind of bummed we don't get to see more of him as an individual bc tbh i'm still kind of in that intrigued state and don't feel like i've gotten a ton more info about him. i think it would be easy to say that he's just kind of bored and/or isn't easily amused bc of his expression most of the time, but tbh i don't really see either of those being true. i think he actually is pretty easily amused, he just doesn't outwardly express himself much. like with the always taking pictures of the twins bc he thinks it's funny/wants to use it as blackmail against him—or even during the match against karasuno and how he's like constantly thinking about how tsukki is blocking and whether tsukki is or isn't messing with him etc. like, suna definitely seems to have a passion for volleyball based on all of his actions and the little inner thoughts we get from him. i also imagine him to be a pretty hard worker for whatever reason—i dont see him wanting to skip out on practices or only do half the work like say, kunimi does for example

Favorite moment: well since im a sucker for how the characters personalities are shown through the sport itself, i really do like the mental back and forth between him and tsukki with their blocking. they each have a plan and they each think it's working well until they get to the point that they realize the other one's plan isn't really what they thought it was. and they way the two of their personalities specifically react by being like fake polite is just really funny to me. plus that line suna says about tsukki where he's like "yeahh he's the least aggressive blocker i've ever met" is really interesting to me too, i'm always like "so then do you consider yourself to be more aggressive than him??" bc i personally had seen them similarly ish in terms of playstyle up until then so, that was kind of telling for me in terms of how he sees himself too

Idea for a story: 😬 sorry i kinda got nothing. my brain lives almost entirely in canon-land and since we get so little of him i struggle to think of anything where he'd be the star, i just need more info

Unpopular opinion: yoo anon number 2! i agree with you haha. i don't really see him as a stoner. (tbh i dont see any of the athletes who are at this level being full on stoners 🤷‍♀️)

Favorite relationship: hmmmmmm this is also tough for me haha, we rarely see him interact with anyone that i can remember. i guess probably just both the twins, it does seem like they all have a pretty good relationship and i can imagine them hanging out outside of practice

Favorite headcanon: he regularly goes to the chiropractor

[crossdressingdeath]

Seeing your post about how JYL has a 'ranking system' in her head when it comes to WWX and JC hits so hard, but honestly, the more I read into the Jiang family dynamics, the more I agree. JYL obviously loves WWX, but I don't know if she's capable of putting him above JC. And we see her defending him, and she obviously gives her life for him, but she was also reacting in the moment. Not to speak lightly of her sacrifice of course, but I just feel like there are certain limits to how 1/7

far she's actually willing to go for him. I was initially one of JYL's staunch defenders, and always said that, unlike JC, she didn't have the same amount of political power as him, wasn't in a position to do anything about the Wens, ect. But...I'm starting to question if that's really true. JYL may not have had much direct political power herself, but she was the sister of a sect leader, and even if JC was unwilling to help, JYL had just married into the richest and most powerful sect 2/7

at the time. It was a love marriage, JZX adored her and would've done anything for her if she'd just bothered to ask him for it. Madam Jin also cared for her and respected her, and between her and JZX, had JYL actually bothered to tell them anything, I'm sure they would have been able to sort something out. Or she could have had it as a condition of her marriage - I'm not marrying into the sect that's trying to kill my brother unless you tell your father to stop. Had it been reversed and 3/7

The Lans were calling for JYL and JC’s deaths, no way in hell WWX would’ve just married into the sect, regardless of LWJ’s involvement. Instead she just doesn’t really do anything. We see no proof that she ever tried to see WWX after the wedding dress incident, which — god I instantly saw it as a sweet gesture, but now it just bothers me, because your brother is living in squalor, and you decide to show if the expensive dress that you’ll be 4/7

wearing when marrying into the sect that's trying to kill him, you bring along one bowl of soup for him, and don't even try to explain WHY you're marrying into said sect. Beyond that, we don't see a single moment up until her death where JYL actually seems concerned about WWX, puts in effort to try to see him - she doesn't even ask him how he's doing the one time she does come to see him. When we compare that to how WQ treats WN, yeah, she's outwardly not as loving or sweet, but she 5/7

goes to the ends of the earth for her brother, even going as far as to betray her sect and risk WRH's wrath because he asks her to. And now we come back to that ranking system you mentioned before - yeah, it really does seem like JYL places her blood family first, which definitely hurts, but in comparison, despite only knowing him for a shorter amount of time, WQ truly grows to think of WWX as a second brother. And she treats him as such, at an equal level with WN - after JZX dies 6/7

WQ doesn't attack WWX for what happened. She doesn't try to come up with a way to sacrifice WWX instead and let WN survive in his stead. She and WN, two people who have become WWX's family, both give their lives to protect both him and the rest of their remaining family members. And it's just frustrating to think that the one member of WWX's adopted family who we all thought treated him like an actual brother, might not have really been on his side after all. 7/7

Yes! To start with the wedding dress thing, because it drives me nuts when people treat that like some super sweet act of love: JYL shows up in the Burial Mounds with no money, no sign of having tried to talk the sects around, no news outside of her own, no food beyond a couple bowls of soup (one of which she gives to the guy who can’t eat), and doesn’t so much as ask WWX if he’s okay. She literally came all that way to have a family meal, ask WWX to name the future nephew it’s becoming increasingly clear he’ll never meet, and tell him about her impending marriage into the family that’s currently doing everything in its power to destroy WWX’s life. Like, if you think about it that entire visit is such a slap in the face; “Here’s a bowl of soup while the people under your protection are starving, oh by the way I’m going to marry the son of the guy actively trying to get you killed, okay bye”. All you can say in regards to her helping WWX is that she does potentially manage to persuade JZX to invite him to JL’s one month celebration, but if memory serves the novel never actually specifies whose idea that was and it was JZX who decided to go get WWX after JGY told him about seeing JZXun heading in the direction of the Burial Mounds. And even then JZX does the same thing JYL does; sees WWX outnumbered and surrounded and tells him to stand down. At least in JZX’s case you could argue that the actual fighting hadn’t broken out and JZX probably trusted in his authority to be able to sort the situation out so long as WWX wasn’t actually acting aggressive (or defensive, rather), and he’s also physically strong enough that he may well have been able to intervene if the cultivators had attacked. JYL, when she does the same thing, has no authority and no physical power to defend WWX with. And yeah, both JZX and Madam Jin adore JYL, and neither of them seem super fond of JGS (JZX respects his father, but I don’t get the sense he loves him); if JYL had asked them for help it’s entirely possible they would’ve started at least circulating her version of events and demanding a proper investigation into what happened. But there’s no mention of her so much as trying, and she doesn’t offer to ask them when she visits WWX.

And yeah, compare WQ to JYL and it’s... well. WQ is so quick to offer WWX her love and care? She’s harsh, but she loves him and views him and WN on such equal footing that she and WN willingly hand themselves over to the Jins for WWX’s sake without her so much as bringing up the possibility of saving WN instead. There’s no ranking for WQ; WWX and WN are her brothers, and she loves them, and she’d do anything to protect them. When it becomes clear she can’t save WN (like hell the sects would let him live, and by this point it’s pretty clear that WWX won’t be able to protect them forever) she throws her whole weight behind defending the brother she thinks she might still be able to save, even if it means bringing WN with her to die. WQ knows WWX for... a year or two? Maybe? The timeline is a little hazy. Not long compared to JYL, anyway. And yet she’s willing to walk all the way to Lanling to die in the hope of saving him. It’s for her whole family, yes, but she makes a point of including him. Basically, I think this fandom needs more stuff wherein the Jiangs and Wens survive and the Wens are fully like “Our brother now, you don’t deserve him”.

The thing with JYL is... she loves WWX, she genuinely does, but he is never going to be first for her. To the point where she outright enables JC’s abuse, in places; she always expects WWX to be the one to grin and bear it. Hell, one of their first conversations involves JYL cheerily allowing WWX to cover up JC locking him out of his bedroom and scaring him out into the woods by threatening to set dogs on him! Let me rephrase that: she allows a traumatized nine-year-old to hide the fact that the kid her dad expects him to share a room with locked him out of said room on his FIRST NIGHT and threatened him with his LITERALLY WORST FEAR, and as far as we know makes no attempt to tell JFM herself. To keep JC out of trouble. That is such a thing! WWX was scared to the point of running away and JFM expects him to share a room with the person responsible for that and JYL goes along with him promising not to tell JFM so that JC won’t get in trouble! And from that day forwards everything is just “Boys will be boys” to her. Like, let me put it this way. Before LWJ (and arguably the Wens before that, although WWX saw himself more as protector than protected there) JYL was the person WWX trusted to protect and care for and comfort him above all others, yeah? She’s the one he thinks of as having his back? He doesn’t tell her about JC trying to kill him. JC tries to kill WWX three times before JYL’s death, and WWX doesn’t say a word to her about any of them. You could argue that he doesn’t want to involve her, but... JYL pretty clearly takes JC’s side every time JC starts having a go at WWX. When he chases him out of their room, when he starts snapping about how annoying WWX is, when he stabs WWX... She never outright says it, but there really does come a point where by staying neutral you’re siding with the aggressor, and she reaches that point a lot. Hell, the stabbing is one of those aforementioned near-murders! JC stabbed him! According to WWX (who downplays serious injuries, he never exaggerates them) he had to hold his guts in! WWX is talking about a pretty fucking serious injury (and JYL grew up in a cultivation sect, I don’t believe for a second she doesn’t at least know what constitutes a serious injury) while JC whines about a broken arm like it’s worse than having to physically hold your guts in until you can reach a doctor and JYL acts like those are equal! JC could easily have killed WWX and has enough training with the sword to know better than to go for a blow like that in a staged fight and JYL doesn’t even suggest he should apologise.

Honestly? The more I think about JYL the more it pisses me off that she’s treated like WWX’s best sister more than WQ is. Imagine WQ seeing one brother stab the other in the gut and take the former’s side because the latter broke the former’s arm. Imagine WQ so much as considering allowing a child to cover up the kid he’s supposed to share a room with locking him out and scaring him into running away. She wouldn’t! Because WQ sees her brothers as equals. She won’t pick WN over WWX just because they’re blood siblings; she loves them both, and will choose based on who she thinks is in the right. And she wouldn’t just stay neutral to avoid rocking the boat, oh no. If WQ heard WWX say that WN stabbed him and did enough damage that he had to hold his guts in... oh boy would WN have a bad day. The thing with JYL is that she seems like a good sister in comparison to the rest of the Jiangs; stick canon JYL into a family that genuinely loves WWX and sees him as equal to their other children, and she would not look anywhere near as good.

[stray-tori]

TPN S02E07 Initial Thoughts (anime-only)

[ Reaction Vid with friends ]

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I knew about two things in this episode, but that aside, all new stuff for me! I don’t know if it’s because it’s anime-original but quite frankly I don’t want to know. Somehow I’ve convinced myself I won’t care if I know things, but seeing it all unfold is still different - I still WISH i was more blind, obviously, but yeah. I just wish they had more runtime still to cover the final stretch because I do really want to relish this far longer, especially now that I only know like 2 things, one of which likely won’t be relevant in the anime-route.

BUT OH WELL, enough meta emotions. Onto the mess that is my thoughts in my tiny brain trying to comprehend all those factors and making sense of everything.

.

. Norman’s plan

I find it interesting that Mujika and Sonju are the thing that bothers Norman specifically. Ray asks “so they kept the power for themselves” in regards to the nobles, which to me means they have it (they did eat them). So aren’t they a risk too? Since Norman worries about Mujika using it to give the degenerated demons their bodies back -- though the nobles might not do that since it’d make the folk emancipated. But like, if you have no folk left, there’s nothing to control either...

So my guess why Mujika/Sonju are a bigger risk are:

they’re more unpredictable and might be quicker to counter-act his efforts with their ability

Norman knows WHERE the nobles are and (I’m guessing) has a plan to deal with them - he DOESN’T know where Mujika is so she’s riskier since she’s evading his view of the chessboard quite literally.

.

I do think I shouldn’t have to read between the lines like that - what’s Norman’s plan with the nobles? Does the drug really not work on them? If so, how will they get rid of them? To be fair, he seems very certain that eliminating Mujika and Sonju won’t be a big problem; so it’s likely that he’d proceed the same way with the nobles (probably lambda squad) - but I would have liked if that very valid concern had come up in the discussion of the plan.

His “safer” plan literally

doesn’t affect the nobles (who might be a small group but still); which goes unaddressed by him. I don’t think he’s not aware of it, since later in the discussion, the thing that bothers him about Emma saying to just get rid of the nobles and the farm humans ISN’T to get rid of them, what he considers implausible is using the noble’s blood / ONLY killing THEM and not all the demons. At least in my opinion.

human enemies (though they might get caught up in the wild demon chaos I guess)

the world will literally be riddled with wild demons for a good while. How is that any safer? I guess he’ll bring everyone to his hideout that was referenced (where he hides all the kids he broke out) and that will be protected from wild demons either by infrastructure or the humans inside -- I guess viewed from that perspective, it does sound like a pretty “safe” plan if it’s just enough of a “fortress” sort of deal.

His plan IS however more “concrete”. Going to the human world is risky because

the gatekeeper, whatever he is. But like, can he just leave the guardian be all the way underground? is that how it works? Won’t he have to get rid of him eventually?

they could be followed there. they could destroy the gate, however that would doom everyone still over there and who knows if the demons could just break the separation in rage.

they could be unwelcome by the humans on the other side. Either because they somehow profit off of the demon world’s human farms or because the humans over there fear the end of the promise and therefore scramble to send them back. idk if they could take an army of children but it’d be a risk for sure, especially if it implies that they would be constantly chased no matter where they go. A life on the run seems unfavorable (but I’d find that super interesting tbh, arc in the human world??).

andit isn’t going to GF (since he agreed to Emma going back for the others in ep6) that concerns him (imo) but actually just the gatekeeper and the risk of the human world that they don’t know about. Norman does know the effect his drug has on demons, because he’s SEEN it. Eliminating the demons is the more concrete option because if there's no demons, there's no-one to restart the cycle or to follow them or to do whatever. Even if nobody needs humans, that's no gurantee nobody will start farming humans again (see the high class, after all).

So I do think he makes sense there, but I also think it’s a bit of stubbornness and pride too.

there's too many factors and my brian is small.

.

. the dil-emma

Those slight confusions aside, it’s a good dilemma and I relish in it. Nobody could blame them if they did it, but Emma does have a point - do the lower ranks of society hold the blame for what the rich do? - in fact the nobles take all the quality food, leaving their other demons to starve and deform in the lower ranks, even though they don't need it. Did the two demons molded by the system they live in, who just wanted to save literal kids, deserve to die...? The class/capitalism allegory basically writes itself-

Emma is going hard on the parallels and emphasizing with them being living creatures just like them -- and I agree, honestly. Would it be fair to eradicate all of humanity just because the high class / corporations are damning the planet? (some would say yes but YKNOW)

I think Emma has a lot less footing right now -- the upper ranks have all the power, who says it’ll work this time even if they try to turn every demon? Who says they won’t be like the nobles or literally Sonju, one of their “friends” However, I don’t think Emma is being stupid - her concerns are valid. She’s not just doing it for Sonju and Mujika. Though, I still think it’d be interesting if Emma had to change her ideology, not method, this time but... I’m curious how it’ll go.

Tbh I think what it's gonna go for is the middle ground: escape to human world and hope that Sonju and Mujika will help the lower ranks of society and hopefully not be killed. But then again, Sonju wants to eat humans so rip

If they want to ensure some more power to Sonju and Mujika, then 1) flee to human world and kill nobles and farm administration in the process (likely included in part since the gate is in GF) and 2) then hope that demons will just accept their new found peace of not having to chase after humans and just chill in their world.

They probably also can't take every human, so there's always the risk of the cycle just starting anew (especially since as Norman said, some humans also act in self-interest. I'm curious what exactly that self-interest is, aside from getting to live peacefully potentially but even that sounds kind of like a not that epic thing in demon society. unless there's a small village for humans they've deemed worthy and are just throwing there, like what they promised Isabella - or it's just going to the human world I guess WHO KNOWS). and while I did touch upon a sort of "grey" ending for TPN where our group is safe but who knows about the rest, I am actually really curious if that's what they're going for or not. It feels like no matter what I consider something doesn't work out or doesn't feel right.

.

. the gates (and the human world)

I wish we would have known about gates existing prior to this episode. We never found out WHAT is at the location (just have Exposition James mention it). I understand why the pen only showed one - it’s implied the humans had a base there and of course you’d want to send escapees there and not into a farm’s gate but I think there should have still been a side note in the pen that it’s a gate?? Like clearly the farm already knows about gates if their farm is directly above it, right?? so why try to keep it secret pff-

is the implication that the highest humans are actually from the human side or how can I imagine that?? Is it actually not that rare for some humans to exist on both sides if they’re just high rank enough. A gate has no point if nobody can pass - but I guess maybe it’s just under the farm to protect it? Since you already have all those systems for the farm’s kids, why not double-utilize it as a safeguard.

why are there gates to begin with. I wonder if it's science or if that was a backdoor to the deal - but why would you even need that? I guess for human materials.

But it can’t be that nobody can cross, because I’m assuming the tech/food comes from the human world since we haven’t seen non-human farms that would provide for the farms. And if nobody can cross, deliveries will be hard...? So I’M CONFUSED.

.

. Nor “I just did a few tests” man

YES ANGST but also NO, BABY

Norman just loves them so much and he's running out of time >:”0 of course he'd want to go with the plan he's been cooking up. if he's not there he can't save them!

And he’s always been like that, too, as the episode very very clearly points out several times haha. He tricked them in s1 too. He might be more drastic in his methods, but he also admitted to originally only planning to escape with the two of them and he also admitted he suspected Ray first and he thought about cutting Ray off at first before he talked to Emma -- so even the more cold side isn’t all that surprising. He might also be dissociating a bit, tbh. 

But it’s also so tragic,,, He thinks he can’t give them the future Emma wanted without a sacrifice. The problem just is that it was a forced sacrifice because Norman lied to them and said he'd work with them to ensure he escapes too but then didn't. He gave up and forced his defeat on the others, because he thought that it was the safer option than taking more risks (which is happening now too lol).

I also wonder if aside from just... trying to save them until he can’t anymore, a part of his motivation in pushing them away (”isn’t it tough?” - “no”) is that he won’t burden them with his turmoil. He’s their savior right? He can’t falter. If he does, Emma and Ray will just become more stubborn about stopping him. It’ll make it harder for them. Maybe it’s better if they dislike him than worrying. Maybe it’d also make Emma hate herself less if he plays the bad guy...

those are my thoughts, anyway.

.

. Some drug thoughts

Assumptions:

it has to be applicable large scale

I assume the lances in the demon’s body are just there to immobilize it, and not to inject. there are those bulging parts around the entry points, but we did see that also happening when Ray shot the demon eye, so I’m assuming it’s simply their reaction to bodily harm/wounds.

plus, if they have to throw 50 spears into every demon to get the drug to work that's one hell of an inefficient plan

Based on how a lot of the demon dynamics work over food, I’m assuming it’d be something like mixing it into their drinking water, but that might leave some out of they notice. (do they even drink water?)

maybe it’s also just it getting into bodily contact. that would be convenient.

also why would you want a demon in your basement that just seems risky pff

.

. other random things I liked

the Gilda and Emma headbump was so cute sdfudhdsjsd

Lani and Thoma mentioning the migrating birds during their tower watch and that then later coming back when the kids think about where they could be was nice!

I think her involving everyone again is a nice nod to the season's theme, including the whole putting “faith” in them. Norman doesn’t trust them with his plan. I think the bigger problem isn’t that he won’t trust Emma’s plan, because he’s not wrong to object to it, but he should still rely on his family and let them help with the plan instead of deciding it all himself. He doesn't have to literally sacrifice himself for it, again. There is the "don't burden everything by yourself" message of the season, with Emma inviting Gilda and Ray prompting Don to come with them too (probably because they realized it’d be weird to rant about Norman doing everything alone and then doing the same pff-). I think that's what they're going for, that when they work together, he won't have to suffer so much. Even if the plan doesn't change much, he should still rely on them. it is however true that they don't have that much to offer in terms of a long-term solution right now, so that's unfortunate. But we'll see what finding Mujika will bring :3

The gate being in GF ties up the story really well for this weird 2 seasons abridged. i can kinda see what they're going for with the middle arcs missing, which definitely hurts overall but I think it makes the whole thing a little more streamlined in terms of themes and coming back to what s1 was about, quite literally. they just stumbled in the execution (hard, sometimes)

The seizures :((( they’re all so broken, they need HUGS

that "what makes you so nervous?" remark from Ray and also the squad being like "we don't have long left" as the lead up to Norman’s seizure was. so good.

Norman’s seizure scene. The far shot, the blood, the “sorry” I’M EMO-

Norman’s soft “be careful” to Emma and Ray, showing that softer side again :<

Also Ray's reaction to "the gate is in gf" is just a mood haha

THE SHIPMENT PARALLELS! the sounds, grabbing his hand this time when he had to take hers during his shipment AHHH-

.

. other random things I didn’t like

why is Norman not taking the GF kids to his location I am confusion. MAYBE the room they're in (the building just looks like that room and the basement stuff but idk) wouldn't be big enough to comfortably live there or maybe he's too absorbed and doesn't want his siblings to find out about their seizures (which would be more likely to happen if they lived around him) and his brutal experiments (they do always somehow find every little thing in a place haha), but I feel like taking them there would still be better overall. He literally has no way of knowing if something does happen to them. I guess it could be argued he trusts them enough to be able to handle it, but if he's doing it all for them (and probably some trauma to be honest), he definitely should be more concerned and have brought them or at least let one of the lambda kids stay with them.

My friends and I literally everytime they left for food, we already were like "great, leave the kids alone". I feel like in that case it's going a bit for the whole "putting trust in each other" angle but I still feel it's kind of questionable to leave them on their own too.

Overall, I think things add up but I think that’s bc I’m a) very forgiving and b) often just slap a somewhat likely/good-will explanation on things and accept that for now. It’s good for my enjoyment but it might make me seem delusional but I DO THINK that i shouldn’t have to read between the lines this much for the non-mystery elements.

the deal makes no sense from Emma’s POV, what’s her goal? Hoping Mujika’s intel and knowledge about demon society will be of help and convince Norman not to do it? but she already made it a condition to not annihilate the demons if she brings them, so I guess she just wants to give her plan a chance - but I’m not sure what she thinks Norman would see in that plan. I guess he wants to kill them because they’re unpredictable, but if he was to hold his word, their unpredictable nature wouldn’t matter since he can’t annihilate the demons anymore anyway based on his agreement (which he intends to break of course but LIKE FROM EMMA’S PERSPECTIVE. BABY WHAT YOU DOING).

.

So yeah... I’m definitely enjoying the ride. I can see its faults, i’m not delusional, but the base elements are interesting to think about and coming up with some explanations that make sense is also fun - though I wish there was a bit more canon ground / “connecting the dots” experience to it.

I hope I can continue to have fun with the show until it ends, at the very least. Content is content, I’m to tpn-brain-rotted pfff-

[joonietonin]

Ethan Ramsey- Sugar & Ice (Analysis #2)

Hi! I’m back with another in-depth analysis about Chapter 5 and well, I am very very late! Sorry, it took me so long to write this up, I had been sick these past few days. Anyway, something that I am always in awe of, is how well-written a character, Ethan Ramsey is? I do not think there is another character/LI who has even come close to the amount of depth and progression that Ethan has had over the last few chapters and of course, throughout Book 1. So here I am analyzing Ethan all over again because, damn, this man has had the best character development in the Choices universe. Hold on tight because this is gonna be a longgggggg ride. (Literally, it's the longest post I have ever written so far!)

Note: This is an analysis based on my thoughts and interpretation of a character owned by Pixelberry Studios. My MC is female, pronouns: she/her. I will be writing this post from her perspective. If your MC is male or non-binary, I request you to change the pronouns accordingly. I will be working towards bettering my writing skills using they/them pronouns. English is not my primary language, kindly pardon my mistakes.

Taglist: @choicesyouplayandmore @freeasafishinthesea @openheart12 @junehiratas @lion-ess24 @junggoku @silverlitskies @paulfwesley @mrsdr-ethan-ramsey @reaverisabitch @binny1985 @binny1985 @desmaranj @lilyvalentine @soft-for-drake @mangoruby @mrsmatsuo

Let's start off how interesting it is that the first time I wrote about this man, it took me 13 chapters to really assess his depth and development and now in Book 2, it barely took 2 Chapters to provide a in-depth analysis. Yes, character development is key but the time span within which one grows is equally important.

• Ethan, then and now: Ethan, with his hardass, no bullshit and stoic persona is a man with strong opinions. And rightfully so, a person who is around 8-9 years your senior is bound to have more experience- be it in their professional field or their general life experiences. Ethan has always had this strong set of beliefs that were impossible to change, unless you were MC of course. Before Ethan even knew what was happening, MC had already started to infiltrate his steel walls going right towards his heart. MC may be a dumbass but she’s not illogical. I believe that her straightforwardness has always been the reason for Ethan to be drawn towards her. Throughout his whole career, he has only seen these insipid, incompetent people sucking up to him expecting that they would step up in their career. Then came MC, who was never afraid to go against the rules if it meant the well-being of her patients. She proved to him that she was indeed the “someone who could be great, truly” as Ethan had told her in Chapter 5 of Book 1. Ethan supported her at all instances because he had so much of faith in her, even if he did not show it outright.

• MC, a silver lining: For MC, Edenbrook was never entirely about money. So when Ethan tells her about the government deciding to cut down costs of Edenbrook, depending upon your interaction, the last thing MC is worried about is money. Since then she has done everything in her power to prevent that from happening. When that didn’t work, she discovered another path that could potentially save the hospital.

• To be or not to be, morality edition: And even though she anticipated what Ethan would think about the idea, she still took her chances to let Ethan know about this opportunity that could probably put Edenbrook back in the top ranks. And obviously, the hardass Ethan refused. But what’s interesting here is how calmly Ethan reacted. He did not shout, he did not jeer at her. He responded calmly with a simple no. Even when a furious MC charged him for the reason to refute her idea, he simply said that it would ruin the actual purpose of the diagnostics team- which was never meant to cater the rich, rather help those who were truly in need. And even though his intentions were morally correct and heartfelt, MC knew that this wasn’t the time to play with a moral compass.

• Ethan, the "professional": So MC did what she always does: go beyond the rules. She did what Ethan had once told her- “to stand up for what’s right”. So she went behind Ethan’s back and contacted the Instagram celeb Gwyneth Paltrow Monroe and Ethan was obviously furious when he found the whole camera set up in the hospital. And what seems like forever, Ethan regards her as 'Rookie' but this time it is not endearing. MC tries to justify her actions but Ethan, in his classic Dr. Ramsey style, shuts her out and tells her that they had more pressing matters in their hands aka the patient. But, but.. he does not shut her out completely, he says “We’ll talk about this later.” Now if this were the old Ethan Ramsey he wouldn’t have bothered even once to hear anybody’s justification for a matter of fact. But now, Ethan wants to listen to her. He wants to work out their differences. He does not want to leave this matter hanging. He does not want to cut her off due to professional disagreements. Even though Ethan claims that there is nothing but professionalism between them but his actions contradict his words. His actions show that he is truly trying to make things work between them. Ethan might say it's purely professional but I do not believe him one bit (lol).

• Ethan Ramsey is really a softie huh: Even though Ethan is super annoyed at the entire situation, somewhere down the line, he does believe that MC can handle this. He tells her to lead the case. And of course, his snarky remarks are back but this time it's for poor Gwyneth. In an earlier analysis I had stated how Ethan's snarky remarks towards MC had lessened significantly and it still holds true. Instead of berating MC for going behind his back, he handles it with a certain amount of softness. Well, at least when we compare it to how he deals with others in the same situation. So what I really want to say is: Ethan Ramsey is a softie, but only for MC.

• Diligence- 1 Annoyance-0: He is very annoyed and is willing to solve this case as immediately as possible but that does not make him indifferent towards the case. His annoyance does not make him lack diligence. He still gives his 100% towards this case. This shows how diligent Ethan is. No wonder, he's the best diagnostician in the country. He treats all his patients with the same reverence even if some (read: most) get on his nerves. Ethan seems like a cold person with no emotions but the truth is that he cares so much about certain people. The biggest reason Ethan was so annoyed by this high profile case was because the diagnostics team lost a chance to cure a underprivileged patient who needed the help much more than Gwyneth. Despite being a filthy rich person himself, he is not a snob. He has so much concern for the people who cannot afford good healthcare. He cares deeply about the regular people of his community. Yet, that does not make his shy away from his duties towards his current patient.

• Just millennial things: Going back to my previous point, Ethan is really diligent towards his work even if it means doing things he absolutely loathes... like social media. I mean, yes he hasn't seen IT. Yes, he hates texting. Yes, he is technologically impaired. Yes, he does not know how to sign up for Instagram despite being one of the best doctors in the entire world who could cure almost anything. So who does he turn to? MC, obviously. Do we really think he'd ask anybody else in this entire world to help him out with social media. Oh hell no. (Yes, I'm trying to say that MC is special) And cue: the playful banter is back. Something I always relish about Ethan × MC scenes is that their playful banter never stops no matter how tense things are between them. It's some married couple shit right there. From "I'll have you know, I'm only 37. I'm technically a millennial" to "To be clear, we're doing this under one condition. You never speak of it to anyone", let's just say Ethan Ramsey does not share that comfort level with anybody else in this entire world than MC. MC is truly 'the one' for him.

• Ethan and the internet: So here's a two part horror story, the Ethan Ramsey edition- Ethan is terrified of the internet. He does not understand how there are shirtless pictures of him on the internet. Yet, it is really wholesome how we get to know the backstory of most of those pictures. Be it wearing a suit to the A.M.A where he was awarded or when he went shirtless for his first triathlon. It's very very cute that he willingly share these little details about his life. He wants MC to know little things about him. He wants her to be a part of his life even if he claims that there is nothing but professionalism between them (yeah, right) He opened up about how much he loved living in Providence and how he would never have liked any other place for growing up. He revealed his vulnerabilities to MC about how people did not take him seriously and how adults and teachers who undermine him. He trusts MC enough to confide in her and letting her know all these small details which, perhaps, nobody knows except her. Not even Naveen, I presume. Also, please note how a major part of all the information we know about Ethan is because of his Dad. But Ethan willingly sharing details about him to MC? chef's kiss

• Music, Motorcycles and Marriage: Initially Ethan does not understand the point of social media and why so many people would use this "junk". But when MC explains to him how social media helps people connect or how fun it could be for so many people, Ethan does not retort her. He takes and minute to think about her perspective and then accepts with her view. While choosing his interests, we get to know very fond and personal details about Ethan no matter which option we chose.

While talking about Music, Ethan mentions his childhood memories of playing the cello and how his neighbour hated it and broke his cello and also gives a hint towards his mischievous side and the incredible revenge he got on his neighbour.

The Motorcycle was absolutely beautiful. Ethan let's MC know that the first time he took a bike ride was in Brazil (Amazon Rainforest) where he had gone to... well, in layman's terms- get over MC. As eloquent as he is, he describes all the emotions he felt as he rode across his bike along the Amazon River. It's a rare occurrence to see Ethan talk about his feelings therefore it is really wholesome that he would share those intricate details with MC. But the best part of this option had to be when MC demands Ethan to take her on a bike ride in the Amazons some day. Now, for a man who claims that him and MC are "reset" and are "nothing but professionals", it's quite hilarious but very cute that he replied with, "I look forward to it" This statement of his is almost like a foreshadowing of his and MC's future. Even though they're in a tough spot right now, they could always look forward to the future where things might (read: will) change for them.

The option Marriage led to a low-key romantic moment between him and MC. Ethan "love is just neurochemical responses to heightened stress and frequent exposure to each other" Ramsey obviously tells her that he understands marriage as a partnership rather than a meaningful institution. He also states that he does not believe in the concept of soulmates because there is no biological basis to support that. MC simply explains to him that, "It's love, Ethan. It doesn't have to make sense." And Ethan, in his classic 'everything has a scientific explanation' way grins and states, "I'm sorry, no, everything has to make sense." He straight up asks MC the age old question: "How are you supposed to know that you've met the right person?" And almost immediately his smug mouth is shut when MC simply replies with a "I guess, you just feel it. Isn't that biology?" He gazes deeply into her eyes and forgets himself for a moment thinking about how relevant her words are to whatever he feels for her.Deep inside, Ethan knows that he has met the right person, rather THE person.What I'm trying to say is- Yes, Ethan knows that they are soulmates and even though he won’t accept it now but man, he is whipped.

• Ethan's first, last and only: It's adorable that Ethan let's MC make his first post on behalf of him. MC might be the only person in this entire world who has so much hold over Ethan. It is funny because Ethan is MC's boss in the streets but MC in Ethan's boss in the sheets when it comes to personal moments. I think the highlight of the scene was definitely when Ethan follows MC on Instagram. She jokes about it claiming,"Wow, what an honour, I'm humbled." but Ethan deadass let's her know,"You should be. My first, last and only Instagram friend." Again, I think it's a subtle foreshadowing of their future. In real life, technically MC truly one of Ethan's best friends besides being a LI. But I think this statement will hold much more meaning in the future, given the fact that somewhere deep inside Ethan does know that him and MC are soulmates, no matter how much he denies it.

• True feelings and acceptance: We all know Ethan is not the one to back down on his opinions. But often more than not, he really does give a thought about MC's actions and always tries to understand her perspective of it. Yes, it does take him some time to come around but he always comes back to her. When MC tries to justify her actions this second time, Ethan cuts her off- not because he does not want to hear it, but because he has finally understood her point of view.

Another very important detail in this scene, personally my favourite detail, is how this time around he addresses MC by her name. At the start of the chapter he addressed MC as 'Rookie' which symbolised his disappointment over what he feels is a mistake on MC's part. He establishes his seniority over her letting her know that him and MC are not equals. This second time around, he addresses her by name because he has finally come around to understand that MC is really not a 'rookie' anymore. She isn't a resident either. Ethan now saw her as a colleague, someone who was his equal.. his peer.

Ethan rarely accepts his mistakes, because let's be real, this man was practically emotionally inept before MC came around. The whole concept of apology and acceptance is complicated for him. But he is not worried to own up to his mistakes in front of MC. Ethan let's her know that they are bound to disagree over things because they were peers. Knowing her thoughts, even if they contradicted his, helped Ethan see MC in a truer light. When MC worries whether that light is a bad one, he is quick to reassure her that it is a 'complicated' one. This mirrors his feelings about their relationship too, how he can never be entirely professional with her neither could he ever give her the love and warmth he wants to. He tells MC that her perspective does help him to see situations as they really are instead of what he perceives them to be. He ends this declaration of his feelings with, "I want to know you, as you are." My heart goes warm thinking about how much he cares for her and how he'd rather have disagreements with her than force her to be something that she is not. He wants her be just the way she is. He wants to know the real MC, the one who does not shy away from doing what's right rather than doing what's moral and ethical.

• MC x Ethan, the unstoppable force: Lastly, can we all agree that MC and Ethan make a hell of a great team? Even if we put their love life aside, they just absolutely smash it out of the park when it comes to them solving cases together. As they sit together researching about their patient, we see how well coordinated they are. It's almost like, each one knows exactly what the other person is thinking. They are like medical Jedis. Ethan always worries about how if they were to pursue a real relationship, it would be hard for him to push her to do her best.. but the truth is right in front of us. Despite their playful banters, stolen glances, innocent touches and plans about their future, Ethan always pushes MC to evaluate the information and reveal the diagnosis. It would take Ethan 2 minutes to do it himself but as her mentor he constantly helps her get better at providing fast diagnosis. Also, Ethan never ever shies away from giving MC her due credit and appreciation. Getting praise from Ethan Ramsey is very very rare but for MC it's like a usual occurrence, not because they have feelings for each other rather because Ethan truly sees the amount of potential MC has and it reassures him that he was right when he chose MC for Edenbrook knowing that she had the potential to be someone great. While revealing the diagnosis with June and Baz, he proudly let's them know,"MC pieced it together last night. Excellent work." He is honestly like a proud husband showing off how amazing his wife is (lol)

____________________________________________

FINAL THOUGHTS: Sooooo.. let's re-evaluate:

✓ Ethan and MC are very very close on a personal level no matter how much Ethan tries to deny it.

✓ MC is literally Ethan's closest friend. He shares little details about him to her, only her.

✓ Ethan does not shut MC out like he did in Book 1. He tries to understand her and thinks about her point of view.

✓ Ethan and MC have continuous playful banter which makes them look like a whole ass married couple but whatever.

✓ Ethan considers MC to be his equal rather than a subordinate. That is HUGE coming from Mr. Broody Ramsey. He has a lot of respect for MC.

✓ Ethan pushes MC to do her very best despite of them being personal and contradicting their original deal of being professional.

✓ Ethan proudly let's others know about how amazing MC is at what she does.

So, what I am trying to say is: If they are equals, and they work together like two peas in a pod, and the have the cutest most playful relationship, and they respect each other so much, and they are fulfilling every aspect of their mentor/mentee relationship— SO WHEN THE FUCK ARE THEY GONNA REALIZE THAT THEY CAN STILL DO ALL OF THIS WHILE PURSUING A RELATIONSHIP. @ Ethan sweetie, you're one of the smartest men on the planet but you're really so dense when love is involved. I live for the angst but I just want to see my babies being officially domestic and have passionate sex like they did in Chapter 15 (no shit that was THE BEST, read x) yeah that's all, maybe even save the hospital and punch Declan again while they're at it. Ethan and MC are really have the most realistic depiction when it comes to work relationships. Whether Ethan believes it or not— I, for one, am certain that Ethan and MC are truly soulmates and are meant to be. Professionally AND Personally.

Why did I title this as Sugar and Ice?

Because just like ice Ethan is cold,harsh and stoic when it comes to dealing with regular people. But when it comes to people he really cares about and loves (read: MC) he is like sugar- warm, gentle and open.

____________________________________________

Not to be a cheesy romantic, I'm still a cynic but Ethan is an exception. Andddddd we're done. If you have reached up till here then wow, I cannot believe that you would actually take the time to read my thoughts about a character. You don't know how much that means to me. It makes me feel like I am creating some worthwhile. Thank you for all the constant love and support y'all have given me. I am truly so grateful to each one of you.❤️

Also, yes I know Chapter 6 is out and this is an analysis of Chapter 5 but believe me, I you've read this you'll figure out that nothing that happened in today's chapter contradicts my thoughts about Ethan in the previous chapter. I will start working on an analysis for Chapter 6 tonight itself. Just need some time to process all of it. Thank you for always being so patient. I appreciate it so much.❤️

This was a very long post and believe me I tried to cut it short as much as possible. Let's just say I really cannot write short pieces lmao. So yes, thank you for taking out your valuable time to read this. Sending my gratitude and love.❤️

[If you want to be added to my taglist, just let me know as I will be writing some more stuff in the days to come. All my works are sorted in my MASTERLIST. The link is in my bio.]

[zaruba-needslove]

Ahaha. Here I am again with sharing another vid of this same bloody song with meta pasted alongside it. It’s weird how so often my gut feelings over a show ended up hitting right on target. 

Like in some other vid comment I said that this song was practically Hyungbin/Soohyuk suffering song. In which few others also agree/had the same opinion and few others argued that it’s not. Since the song appeared in Jongbeom’s scene as well. But now after the drama was concluded and we saw the full picture, there should no longer be any doubts as to whom this song mostly represented. (Like you should watch this vid and look at the lyrics/translations of the lyrics and think about Hyungbin/Soohyuk’s plot throughout the series.)

That said, I might as well do a meta on Hyungbin/Soohyuk now. (Been meaning to do this for a while tbh.)

Since KBSdrama youtube tend to share clips of the current airing drama clips shortly after the episode air, I tend to check the channel out whenever I’m following any certain KBS dramas that I like. And because of that, I tend to read people’s comments as well. Bad habit. There’s something that bothered me a bit about how some people viewed Hyungbin/Soohyuk’s character. Like how they said Hyungbin was an incompetent policeman (for assuming Gong Jicheol the serial killer etc) and how Soohyuk was such a corrupt prosecutor (for having falsified evidence etc) and using that as the reason why they prefered Gong Jicheol/Cheon Jongbeom as their preferred character. While yeah, everyone is allowed to have their preferences I can’t help wanting to defend that Hyungbin/Soohyuk was not the kind of people they think they were.

I mean, how would you expect Hyungbin to figure out the real killer especially when the dude (Gong Inu) was technically ‘dead’ officially? And that time period... there’s still no DNA technology, at most people could test for blood types... as well as fingerprint analysis. And with the many conflicting details (different person who kills, different person to put on the socks on the victim, different(?) person that paints the portraits of the victims...) that didn’t quite make sense, how could Hyungbin figure out who was and wasn’t a suspect? It’s not like Hyungbin was some bigshot cop who had informants all over the place!

(Not to mention the whole how the hell Gong Inu manage to fake his death... but we gonna set that argument aside for now.) With all that already present, making Hyungbin’s investigation a bit problematic to figure out... isn’t it VERY troublesome when you have this kid Gong Jicheol trying to ‘fake’ a new victim, under the pretence of wanting to create a new brain-dead person who could later become a heart donor for Haeeun, by linking his murder to be a part of Gong Inu’s serial murder? Would that be Hyungbin’s fault that Gong Jicheol end up falsely accused for Gong Inu’s murder? While it’s true that Haeeun didn’t exactly see Jicheol murdered the woman, she was there when the woman screamed after being hit by Jicheol, and that salon had only ONE entrance and Jicheol was the only other person inside. What you gonna say about that? Gong Jicheol DID. STILL. MURDERED. A PERSON. And Haeeun ended up having testified for that... albeit under false accusation as it was assumed to be part of a serial murder when it was not.

And this guy also happened to have a big crush on Haeeun and have a habit of shadowing her night and day. And it also happened that Gong Inu was also aware of this crush... and you also have a very carefree Haeeun who still happily carrying around a YELLOW umbrella when a serial murder case with the victim’s being women WITH yellow umbrellas still unresolved. (Oh no... it got Dooly’s picture on it. No dear, IT DOES NOT MATTER!) Do you think, with all this being stacked on Hyungbin’s conscience, that dude will not be EXTRA wary and protective over his girlfriend who happened to have a weak heart and also happened to be the daughter of a couple he inadvertently led to their deaths because of a criminal that he had been chasing after? Do you think that guy will NOT be very frantic when he finds out the stalker that shadowed his gf happened to keep HER UMBRELLA at his home as well as being caught burning the actual keepsake of Gong Inu’s murders in the open??? How on earth would you think that Hyungbin would NOT see Gong Jicheol as a murder suspect? Heck, he was even MURDERED in order to have Gong Jicheol be blamed for his death!

HOW CAN YOU THINK HE WAS INCOMPETENT DETECTIVE WHEN HE’S JUST BEEN INVESTIGATING BASED ONLY ON THE INFORMATION THAT HE HAD AT PRESENT? Also about him initially refusing to have Haeeun testify against Jicheol. Oi, Haeeun had a weak heart. Do you think Hyungbin would want to risk endangering her wellbeing by having her testify at court just so he can get Jicheol jailed? After what happened to her parents?

When Gong Jicheol ran away and try to look for Haeeun, what did you think the first thing that came to his mind? Haeeun’s safety! And he had a reason to be worried. Gong Jicheol did attack the doctor who was checking on him! And we don’t even know if the doctor was only slightly injured or DEAD.

Also on Soohyuk. We were given a brief back story on how Soohyuk’s father ended up suiciding because he felt responsible, due to the fact that the criminal to whom he thought was repenting on their crimes ended up KILLING the witness who testified against them right after they were released from prison. How do you think that incident would’ve affected Soohyuk? As much as his late father had told him to believe in the good of people and that we should give chance for them to redeem themselves, after what happened to his father, do you think he’d trust the words of criminals that claimed to have turn a new leaf and regretted their crimes? Would he ever again trust the words of a criminal? Then, weigh all that to his reason for using unidentified remains and fabricating evidence to make sure all criminals get locked in jail and never again hurt anyone he cared about. Unlike Cheon Seoktae who did it mostly to rise in ranks, Soohyuk just want to keep criminals off the streets. Yes, while his methods may be too extreme... consider this. Can you always know for sure whether someone was innocent or guilty of a crime ESPECIALLY when you don’t have enough evidence/unable to find any evidence because the criminal hid it too well? If you somehow fail to convict a murderer and let them go free, how’d you feel if those criminal create even more victims? Wouldn’t all that guilt haunt you for life afterwards? Then tell me, if you can judge Kim Soohyuk and the people supporting his methods for doing what they did? (The drama DID hint on that tbh, like Dr. Yoo mentioned something about a past case... but we never got to hear about that because the drama sucks on the development of the crime plot.)

Also on the part when Soohyuk shot Jongbeom. That very scene that was almost a parallel between the earlier Hyungbin-Jicheol confrontation. On both situations Hyungbin and Soohyuk was in a state of alarm and panic over Haeeun/Sabin’s safely. And then you have Jicheol/Jongbeom being dodgy AF in between them. And afterwards, both of them made a sudden movement. You think anyone could think long before reacting to the situation? When even ONE SECOND could change between life or death, especially when Soohyuk thought Sabin was hurt (the blood spill from outside, her being tied up, Jongbeom holding a knife and hulking over her menacingly)? And all this could’ve been avoided had Jicheol/Jongbeom just stayed still and disarm himself and allow Hyungbin/Soohyuk to be at ease and be assured that Haeeun/Sabin was safe. Like Jicheol/Jongbeom argued that no one cared to listen to them but on the other hand they also did not bother to listen to others or trust them? So you cannot put all the blame solely on Hyung/Soohyuk for reacting to the situation as is because it’s either that or losing someone they loved. Soohyuk himself had said that the incident was also traumatic to him as well. Meaning he wasn’t also in the calmest state at that time!

Also, I ended up arguing with some other people who still insist that Soohyuk deserved his bad ending because Soohyuk needs to pay for his past sins... even more than Jicheol, and WTH was that LOGIC? As if Hyungbin wasn’t already paying for it by becoming Haeeun’s legal guardian as well as fiancee because of his guilty conscience for indirectly causing Haeeun’s parent’s death to the extent of him having symptoms similar to Haeeun's heart attacks, as well as him being content JUST by seeing Haeeun alive and well thus he ended up going to the extremes in order to protect her. HOW MUCH PUNISHMENT DID YOU WANT THAT POOR FICTIONAL PERSON CARRY?

*breathe*

This should be enough then for Hyungbin/Soohyuk meta. Anything else I’ll just be throwing it all out on my fics. Even if no one would unlikely be reading any of it because of how messed up this drama had been. I need to take a break at writing this. Cos all the anger that resurface while typing this made me feel sick again I need to get something to drink.

[kob131]

https://sssn-neptune-vasilias.tumblr.com/post/620377137095049216/blakes-honestly-just-a-bad-mouthpiece-for-this

https://sssn-neptune-vasilias.tumblr.com/post/620375255340466176/blake-belladonna-as-shes-been-written-in-the

Remember when I said that RWBY tends to get bitched out by people for basically not adhering to their political views?

Well, who’d like to see some examples?

Blake’s honestly just a bad mouthpiece for this story. She’s a bad vehicle for this entire subplot. She wrapped up her ears for a whole year, knowing that she didn’t want to deal with the consequences of being a Faunus in a human academy. She didn’t want the dirty looks, or the racism, the anger, the resentment, so, like Ilia did initially, she hid. She hid and let Velvet and Sun be victims of racism, because arguing that someone else doesn’t deserve to be called dirty names was easier than arguing about herself. But Blake doesn’t get to come down from her ivory tower, and her giant mega-mansion on an island where “space is a commodity” and tell people who’ve been orphaned from Dust Mine collapses, who’ve had friends and families lynched by angry mobs, who’ve actually experienced the worst that racism has to offer, that their anger is wrong. She doesn’t get to use her privilege to silence those who don’t have any. And I refuse to listen to her for as long as she tries to. Someone who shucks and jives and apologizes to some drunk racist asshole spew his hate and lets a Schnee- another daughter of privilege- stand up for her, is someone who’s story I’ve heard too many times, who I’m too tired to listen to. Where’s my Sienna book, because as far as I’m concerned she’s the only one who ever actually stood for something 

... So?

So what Blake hide her ears? No rational person wouldn’t try to hide something that they think would land them in serious trouble? Not to mention it has nothing to do with what Blake fights for (equality for her people.)

She never ‘let’ anyone be victims of racism. She was openly hostile to Cardin and went out of her way to humiliate him. She fought with Weiss because of her racism towards Sun. Nobody got away with it. Unless you mean ‘Blake should have physically assaulted these people’ in which case: that’s illegal for good reason, Cardin could just use it to get Blake in trouble, it would have REINFORCED Weiss’ racism and Velvet and Sun are their own people, who can decide to confront them or not. Just because you’re a violent idiot doesn’t make it right or smart.

And guess what? Not only did Blake never actually say their anger was wrong, their ACTIONS were. (You know, like mass destruction).

Not only does Blake NOT have more privilage than these people (her family being well off doesn’t matter here).

This was Martin Luther King Jr.’s birth home. ... Pretty fucking good, especially for his time huh? 

You don’t refuse to listen to Blake because of ‘privilege’: You refuse to listen because you’re a violent idiot, thinking that ignoring some random drunk guy being racist is bad even though he’s fucking drunk and random, why the hell would Blake CARE about him? Reminder that Blake WAS NOT HAPPY that Weiss did that. 

Blake was being the bigger person: something you, a real person, failed to be.

P.S. Funny you don’t mention Adam here. What’s wrong, did you figure out Sienna basically MADE Adam?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Blake Belladonna, as she’s been written in the series so far, would see what’s going on in America right now, and would leave her gated community to perform a citizen’s arrest on some rioters who were looting an insured Target to show that ���we need to hold each other accountable before we can expect the police to stop murdering us in the streets” and that’s exactly the problem with this show right now. The entire racism subplot of this show focuses so heavily on weeding out the “few bad apples” from the White Fang to ensure that it remains completely peaceful to the point of impotency, but refuses to show- let alone prosecute- the racism and racists that TWF were rallying against in the first place.

“Peaceful to the point of impotency-”

You know SSSN, I know you’re conflating “Peaceful” to “Impotent”. I don’t know why you think trying to avoid that is helping anything.

And yes, you should be doing that. You should’ve been rooting out the bad dapples in your fucking movement. Because otherwise you get shit like this, where people of all races are flipping the rioters the bird (including other black people) because they hate the violence and destruction. To say nothing of how white supremacist rhetoric was all but DEAD before this shit started years ago and is now rising up. Almost like being a violent jackass to everyone creates wounded people racist prey upon.

P.S. I guess Jacques Schnee doesn’t exist since apparent there’s no racism. Funny, I swore I could have remembered him being in about 80% of the last Volume.

RoosterTeeth has been targeted for a LOT of issues the past couple of weeks, and have come out and actively apologized for their tonedeafness and their inaction and their compliance. But if RT really wants me to believe that they’re trying to change- besides standing up for their black employees first and foremost- they NEED to take a closer look at this show and realize that the message they’ve been sending isn’t a good one. It’s the message of people who see any disruption of “peace” as more egregious than the racism that’s gotten more people killed than the rioting or looting ever could.

Yeah, I don’t know what happened there so I don’t care.

And that wasn’t the message. Disruptions of peace that didn’t involve harming the innocents was shown as good and progressive. It was the massive amount of violence that was shown to be the problem. It was made pretty fucking clear, they’re not masters of subtly here. You’re just violent.

I was willing to come on this journey while Blake was leaving the White Fang behind because she couldn’t agree with their methods.

Proof.

I was hurt when the show kept using TWF as base level grunts for nearly every major altercation that we’d seen up to season 3.

If I said “I’m hurt when they portrayed all the humans in this conflict as racists with no redeeming qualities”- Guess what you’re reaction would be? because I’m pretty sure it’d be what I’m thinking here.

I still hugely disagree with the “reveal” of Adam’s character, and I’m still extremely upset that they would choose to write someone like Adam as not only a high ranking lieutenant, but then the LEADER of the White Fang with nearly ZERO dissent from the rest of the group.

*points to the riots* Is it really that hard to believe?

Murdering Sienna Khan before she’d even gotten to explain her stance on violence was a godawful choice.

SHE DID.

Sienna: I was one of the first to suggest violence where violence was necessary. Peace bred complacency and acceptance of our place in the world. I will not allow humanity to push us down without pushing them back. But the destruction of the Huntsman Academies crosses a line! The loss of the CCT has brought global communication to a crawl! And the White Fang is more of a target now than ever before! You have justified humanity's campaign against us, and for what?! Empty promises from a group of humans? Humans we still know nothing about, and come and go as they please! These are not examples of strength, Adam. They are examples of your talents being diminished by shortsightedness!

Finding out just how privileged Blake actually is due to her family’s status was my final nail in the coffin for Blake’s roll as a mouthpiece in this story. 

It’s almost like standing against racism has nothing to do with privilege, it has to do with making things better for other people and empathy.

Blake’s conversion of Ilia to her “peaceful to the point of impotence” stance on this issue despite Ilia’s very real and valid reasoning for being THROUGH with peaceful protesting was TIRING.

That being she thought there was no other way even though it doesn’t seem like it was active for very long. 

Having characters like Marrow and Sun and Neon and Velvet and all the other Faunus we’ve seen thus far who aren’t a part of TWF be completely silent or dismissive of the issues they’re facing- as if they couldn’t give half a shit, as if it was all happening to other people so standing up for their community isn’t a top priority- is really getting tired.

Because it was. They're not a collective, they’re individual people with their own lives and shit to deal with. 

And Sun wasn’t dismissive: he was hostile towards the White Fang. Probably because they were violent and cult-like.

We’ve had more “racism” aimed at Penny for being a robot than we’ve had aimed at all of our Faunus characters since this show started

Number of times penny has been discriminated: ... Uh... Zero.

It’s officialy: SSSN doesn’t watch the show.

And if RT really wants me to believe they’re trying to change, they need to look at these issues and decide where on the side of history they want their story to end up; because right now, it’s on the same side as the people who just wanted MLK to stop marching because he was “upsetting the peace.” 

As opposed to you, who would call his movement ‘impotent’ and become a walking example for the KKK to use to make black people look like thugs?

This shit is why I hate you: you only defend Sienna because she’s the closest to your position, never realizing how close Sienna and Adam really were. Reminder that Adam became the way he was because SIENNA USED HIM to push her methods, YOUR methods, forward. Adam becoming a racial supremacist and radicalizing the orgnazation towards endless violence? That happened in the real world, with it becoming a belief that everything in US is racist, causing people to lash out, making the government stop them and using that as proof that the US is racist. 

Instead of becoming better people, both the fictional White Fang and the real life movements became walking cesspools.

And before you try calling racism: One look through my blog shows I’m against the police in this issue and I recently tried talking down one of my friends who tried to imply white people have it worse. Face facts: you’re an entitled brat, thinking that reform should be immediate despite how unrealistic and dangerous that is and you think your media is owed to be on your side.

Grow the fuck up.

[sister-ruan]

Dream Royal Chaos

So, I follow Facebook’s Royal Chaos group, and there was recently an announcement of another server merge. My friends @lady-reinian​, @noble-consort-yi​, @yingyuerc​ and I started venting, and I suddenly had some ideas for how I would like it (and my friends seemed to agree with me). So I shall explain what my dream Royal Chaos would look like.

Donation Tier

User Controlled Server Switches

Elimination of payer-only abilities

Consistent Story Progression

Donation Tier

So, anyone who has played Royal Chaos is aware of the VIP rankings in the game. This has caused some... frustration, to put it lightly. Only those who shell out a lot cash regularly are able to be a number 1 VIP. And ultimately, being a VIP doesn’t do anything besides occasionally giving you... like... a new speech bubble style or frame for your picture. It basically just says “I sold part of my soul to enjoy this game a little more”.

I’ll get to that whole “pay to enjoy” thing later, but I still think this is important. Many old online servers, like Gaia Online, would rely on donations to continue to keep things running and pay the people running the site. For that, the people who donated would get one item that was exclusive to donors (in Gaia’s case, a halo). While I understand we are not on Gaia, and not in the early 2000′s, this is still a decent idea.

Many YouTubers and other people who work on the internet use Patreon as a means of asking for a little extra to give a little extra. And often times, people who use Patreon have a Donation Tier list; where your placement on the tier is determined by how much you donate. This is ultimately what Royal Chaos’s VIP list is, only you can’t tell how much you have to donate to get on any particular level until you’ve paid it. But unlike Patreon, being on a VIP list doesn’t provide anything for the people paying money to get Jade, besides actually getting Jade. It’s less of “give a little to get a little” and more “give us your first born child to get two jade”. I believe a donation tier would be... more satisfactory.

User Controlled Server Switches

To try and eliminate “dead” servers, the big cats who run Royal Chaos will periodically merge servers to prevent users from losing their process while also providing a way to up activity; which is rather irritating for those of us who like quiet servers. This also can cause you to lose a lot of progress you’ve made in promotions because people who have money to burn are better at maintaining their status. (Yes, I’m aware of the theme.)

So, what’s my solution? Don’t leave it to the admins and mods to merge servers. You send out an announcement of which servers are going to be closed and warn users that if they don’t move their data to a new server before the deletion date, their data would be deleted. Providing users with a choice of where to go can allow users who prefer chatty servers to go there, and those who like quieter servers to go to the “new” servers. This would also free up the data used by inactive accounts that people have abandoned. And the players wouldn’t be so angry at the admins and mods.

Elimination of Payer-Only Abilities

For as long as I’ve played Royal Chaos, there has always been a great disadvantage to players who want to play for free. Players who can shell out cash have the ability to buy more supplies to get better heroes, pets, weapons, clothes, flowers- anything that is needed for competition (which is ultimately 90% of the game). This makes the game less enjoyable for those who don’t have the money to make it rain. Those of us who spent anywhere from several hours to several months trying to get strong enough to move to the next stage don’t stand a chance compared to those who spend $200 to make ten times the progress in a fraction of the time.

So, in my dream Royal Chaos, that would be eliminated. Completely. Sure, if you paid for stuff, you still get to keep what you bought. But progress is to be made through grinding, like the rest of us. Want to level up your warriors? Better start battling. Want to beef up your pet? Feed it. Don’t have the supplies for that outfit? Gotta start doing some travelling. Making it so everyone’s progress is based on how much time their willing to put into the game will make things more fair and equal. However, you know the admins and mods wouldn’t be happy with a completely free game.

My solution? A once a month special item for a reasonable price. How is that different from now? Well:

It’s at a reasonable price. Not $50

It’s not a gamble. Part of why these “exclusive items” are undesirable is because there’s no promise you’ll get them

What’s a reasonable price? In my opinion, $10. “But [my name], won’t the admins and mods think that’s too cheap?” Initially, yeah. But as they say, “You attract more flies with honey than vinegar.” If you give people a promised item to them for a reasonable price, you’re more likely to get more buyers. And even $10 is a bit pricey, but compared to a $50 gamble it’s nothing.

But how is this different from the Payer Exclusive items? The monthly item released is cosmetic. It’s just a costume or a new hair style. It’d be nothing that would really effect the game play. But costumes wouldn’t just be exclusive to once a month; costume recipes should come back. I’ve got more than enough of... everything... to make tons of costumes. The monthly exclusive is just one item that you don’t have to make.

Consistent Story Progression

Three months = one chapter? Uh, no. That’s silly. I’m sure it has something to do with the voice actors and the technology behind it, but it’s silly. For people like me who are primarily on Royal Chaos for the story, a lot of time is just spent doing dailies for five minutes and then signing out because there’s no update. I would much rather be spoon fed pieces of each chapter consistently than get one chapter, finish it in five minutes, and then be bored again for another three months.

I believe this one is more about time management and less about more workers being involved. Plus, these last couple chapters didn’t have voice overs. In fact, I think there should be regular maintenance done to make sure all of the voice overs still run for the chapters, so there are no bugs, and to give an option of just keeping comments turned off for the story. Chances are, it’d have to be a one or the other situation.

I’m speaking from my point of view as a player and as someone who doesn’t need to be fed ads. I feel like actually accommodating to those who are playing for free rather than excluding them is just being respectful. I know tons of people who have left because they just can’t keep paying for all of these upgrades they need just to keep up. And I think that it’s unfortunate because Royal Chaos has so much potential as a game, and it’s being thrown away for the sake of profit. Games are better when you can enjoy them without buying all the bells and whistles.

[ltleflrt]

Hnnngh *bites lip* so hard to choose. Dragon/Wedding planner AU for your prompts game? I‘ve loved all of the ficlets that came out of this so far!

I fracking love this prompt, thank you :D

“This isn’t even my wedding, how did I get roped into this?”

Sam casts Dean an unimpressed look as he opens the door to the meeting room and gestures for Dean to precede him inside.  “There’s more to being the best man than planning the bachelor party, Dean.”

“Since when?” he demands, just to be stubborn.  He doesn’t really have a problem helping out with anything Sam and Eileen need, it’s just weird to him that they’d hire someone to do all the hard work for them, and still need Dean’s input on stuff.

Sam’s answer is lost to him when Dean’s eyes fall on the room’s stupidly sexy occupant.  His feet glue themselves to the floor, and it takes a nudge from Sam to get moving again.

“Hello, Castiel,” Sam says brightly as he crosses the meeting room.  “Thank you for coming here to meet us today.”

“It is my pleasure, of course.” The man–he’s certainly male, if not human–smiles graciously as he accepts Sam’s hand to shake.

Dean’s eyebrows feel like they’re trying to launch themselves into his hair.

Touching a Phoenix is an invitation for third degree burns, but Castiel doesn’t even flinch as his hand is engulfed in Sam’s much larger grip.

“Castiel, this is my brother Dean,” Sam says, gesturing for Dean to come closer.  He casts Dean a look that says get over here idiot, which works because Dean’s on auto pilot.  “He’s going to be helping out when Eileen and I are unavailable.”

It’s been trained into him since birth not to touch anyone.  His nature as a Phoenix puts most creatures in danger of burns from standing too close, much less initiating skin to skin contact.  So it’s a surreal experience to feel a hand that doesn’t belong to someone of his own species slide against his own.  His fingers brush the edge of a cool scale and it sends a shiver up his arm.

Flame-blue eyes stare up at him, and Dean’s brain experiences a mild short circuit when Castiel smiles at him.  “Hello, Dean.”

“You’re a dragon,” Dean blurts.

When Castiel laughs, his whole body gets in on the motion.  The wings draped over his shoulders flutter, and his tail whips left to right.  The sunlight pouring in through the wall of windows lining one side of the meeting room glints off the iridescent scales along his neck and hairline.  “I believe I am, yes.”

Dean blinks and shakes his head.  Castiel’s voice is like thick smoke, and it’s going straight to his pleasure centers.  He needs to get a grip on himself before he does something really embarrassing.  He pastes on a charming smile.  “Sorry. I’ve never met a dragon before.”

“And I’ve met very few Phoenixes,” Castiel counters with a teasing smile.  “My people do prefer the view from their mountain tops, but I find that sometimes the rest of the world holds much more pleasurable views.”  His eyes trail down Dean’s body, lingering on their clasped hands, before coming back up to lock their gazes together again.

Is that a flirtation?

Dean hopes it’s a flirtation.

Sam ruins the moment by clearing his throat.  “Eileen’s sorry she couldn’t be here today.  She’s needed in Oberon’s court.”

“I understand.”  Castiel turns his attention to Sam, a professional facade coming down over his expression as he releases Dean’s hand.  “She’s a very busy woman, and I’m here to take as much stress and work off her shoulders as possible.”

Dean misses Castiel’s touch as soon as it slips away.  But he’s suddenly looking forward to all his extra Best Man duties.

***

As ambassador to the land of the Fae, Sam is a pretty busy guy, and his engagement to Eileen, a high ranking member of Oberon’s court, means even more rounds of social events.  So Dean ends up doing a lot more of the work on getting the wedding set up than he expected.  And that means spending a lot more time with Castiel than the bride and groom do.  

Which, to be completely fucking honest, is awesome.

Castiel insists on meeting in person often, sometimes multiple times a week.  And it isn’t always to visit bakeries and flower shops.  They spend an equal number of meetings in coffee shops, or cozy restaurants, with Castiel’s binders open on the table between them to keep up the appearance that what they’re doing isn’t dating.

Because it hasn’t been said out loud yet, but Dean’s pretty sure that’s what this is.  Why else would their discussions veer from business to personal so often?  Why else would Castiel touch him whenever he can, like he can’t help himself?

Dean could be way off base.  Maybe dragons are touchy-feely by nature.  It’s completely possible that Castiel is always staring at Dean’s lips because he’s hard of hearing.  Eileen stares at Dean’s mouth all the time, and it certainly isn’t because she wants to jump his bones.  And the intense eye contact when Dean’s not speaking?  Well that could just be Dean projecting.  Eye contact is normal, right?  It’s not all eye fucking.

It certainly feels like eye-fucking though.

He could ask.  Hey, Cas.  Is this thing between us all in my head?  Maybe write him a note, and ask him to check yes or no if he likes Dean the way Dean likes him.

Or he can continue to be chicken shit about it, and just bask in Castiel’s presence.  Treasure every look, every gentle slide of Castiel’s fingers against his hand or his arm.  Soak in the cooling relief of his presence, because Castiel probably doesn’t understand the concept of Personal Space, and isn’t standing shoulder to shoulder with Dean in the print shop because he craves that contact as well.

Over the months they gravitate closer and closer.

Dean never asks why.

***

Never in his life has Dean seen a wedding so beautiful.  

Sam and Eileen stand together under an arch of orange and yellow irises.  Bonfires flank the raised dais, and torches line the aisles.  Light and shadow from all the flames dance across Eileen’s flowing white dress, making her appear to be bathed in her own fire.  Both the bride and groom are displaying their wings proudly, Eileen’s sheer and rainbow shimmery, Sam’s fiery feathers arched over his shoulders.  Only clever spell work keep them from sparking fire in his clothing and the nearby flowers.  And Eileen’s fairy blood protects her from Sam’s burning touch.

The priestess bonds them together with a rope of pure gold wrapped loosely around their clasped hands.  She repeats the sacred ritual in three languages, including sign.  And when she announces them Bound, the torches and the bonfires roar higher, adding more noise to the cheering of the gathered crowd.  

Petals from orange roses are tossed over the wedded couple’s heads as they turn to their guests, and raise their tied hands up high to display them to everyone present.  

Dean’s vision blurs, maybe from tears, maybe from the heat haze of so much open flame.

After the ceremony it’s hours before Dean gets a moment to himself.  He sneaks away as soon as he finishes his Best Man speech, to a quiet corner of the palace gardens.  The marble bench he finds is cool, and the gentle breeze rustling the surrounding bushes is refreshing on his cheeks.  Even as a creature of fire, it feels good to get away from the hot press of bodies packed into one place.  

And out here, he doesn’t have to pull himself in tight to prevent brushing too close to someone who might suffer injury on contact with his skin.  He lets his head fall back on his shoulders and looks up into the starry sky, smiling at the unfamiliar constellations of the Fae realm.  With a sigh and a slight relaxation of his concentration, he lets his wings slip free.

He can’t spread them, for fear of setting the garden on fire, but having them out in the open is relief enough.

“Lovely.”

Dean’s wings flinch, but before he can slip them away, Castiel stops him with a touch to his shoulder.

“No, don’t,” Castiel murmurs.  “Your flame poses no danger to me.”

Dean looks up at the dragon, and thinks the reflected gleam of his wings in Castiel’s eyes is far more beautiful than the stars.  “Uh thanks.  They were getting a little cramped.”

Castiel flares his own wings slightly.  “I can imagine how uncomfortable that gets.”

Of course he does.  As a dragon, Castiel is squeezing his whole body into a smaller form, not just hiding his wings.  

“Yeah it’s not the greatest.” Dean slides over on the bench to give Castiel space.  “Join me?”

His heart thumps almost painfully behind his ribs when Castiel accepts his invitation and settles on the stone seat.  Even though Castiel is safe, Dean still pulls his wings away out of habit.

Castiel notices the gesture and smiles gently.  He lifts a hand, but hesitates.  “May I?”

Among his own kind, touching wings is an intimate gesture.  Most people of other species would start to feel the burn before even getting close enough.  Phoenixes aren’t exactly a dime a dozen, and Dean’s a little too rough around the edges to attract a mate from the Fae, so it’s been many years since he’s felt another’s touch in his feathers.

The urge to allow it is overwhelming.  Only a lifetime of discipline keeps him from shoving his wing right into Castiel’s waiting hand.  But his feathers ruffle up with anticipation anyway.  

Unable to speak around his heart in his throat, Dean nods.

Castiel’s fingers sink into Dean’s flaming feathers, and they both let out a sigh.  Dean in utter satisfaction, and Castiel in what looks like wonder.

The yellow flames turn the iridescent blue scales lining the back of Castiel’s hand a deep metallic green.  He strokes through the feathers, threading them between his fingers, and Dean can’t help pressing his into the touch.

“Lovely,” Castiel says again, low and soft, smoke rising from embers.

Dean loses track of time as Castiel gently grooms the areas he can reach.  His eyes nearly slip closed in pleasure, but he can’t look away from the awe gracing Castiel’s features, so he watches the dragon through drooping lids.

“You know,” Castiel says after a long silence broken only by the soft crackle of Dean’s flames.  “Now that my work for your brother and new sister is completed, I’ll be visiting other realms for new contracts.”

Dean’s feathers dim with his disappointment.  “So, I guess this is probably goodbye then?”

Castiel’s eyes flit from Dean’s wing, to lock on Dean’s gaze.  “I was hoping that we could continue our relationship without the barrier of professionalism.  If you don’t mind that I have to travel a lot for work.”

It takes everything Dean has not to burst into a pillar of flame.  He manages to keep his excitement contained to a grin, and maybe a little extra heat under his skin.  His clothes stay intact, even if he does catch a whiff of hot wool.  Thank the gods for whoever invented spells for fireproofing.  “I don’t mind at all, Cas.” He flutters his wings.  “It’s not like I don’t have means of traveling to see you.”

Castiel’s smile is brighter than a flame.  “I’m very happy to hear that.”

“Can I kiss you, Cas?” Dean blurts.

He receives his answer as a soft press of lips against his own.  The kiss is gentle, almost chaste, but it’s more than Dean usually dares to hope for.  

Dean doesn’t know what his face is doing when Castiel pulls back, but it’s probably something goofy and love-struck.  “That was awesome.”

“Yes,” Castiel agrees.

And then they kiss again.  And again.  They kiss and touch and murmur endearments to each other under the rotating stars, until edge of the sky begins to fade from black to blue and the stars blink out of view.

[hexlikesramennoodles]

15 or 27 on the 50 kisses list + harringrove please

15. A fierce kiss that ends with a bite on the lip, soothing it with a lick; 27. Kisses exchanged while one person sits on the other’s lap.

Author’s note: this takes place in the same universe as my fic This Jelly. I hope that’s okay with you, Anon.

“It’ll be something in the roof,” Billy announced. He ran his finger around the edge of the windowsill, over the places where rainwater had soaked through the plaster, browning the paint and flaking it away. “A loose tile, I’m willing to bet.”

“Huh,” Steve said. He was only loosely paying attention; Billy’s jeans hung low on his hips, and his chest was bare save for the chain from which his AA medallion swung. Steve had missed that medallion. He missed the sight of Billy’s naked chest even more. It had only been about four days since they’d last seen each other, but somehow the time felt much longer.

“I can go up there later, if you’ve got a ladder. Wouldn’t want you to fall and break your neck.” Billy stepped away from the window, trailing stray paint flakes from his fingers. “Sound good?”

“Huh?” Steve startled, blinking and wetting his lips. “Oh. Yeah. Yeah, that sounds good, man.”

Billy sidled closer, cocking his head. He had this weird obsession with being clean—meaning clean hair, clean nails, and clean-shaven skin whenever he saw Steve outside of work. He steam ironed his shirts, and wore cologne that made Steve’s eyes water with how strong it was. Steve knew it went deeper than Billy simply wanting to look nice for their dates—he also didn’t want to become his father. Neil Hargrove had let himself go long before he remarried. He smoked, ate badly, and didn’t brush his teeth. His breath had smelled like he was rotting inside. I don’t want that to be me, Billy had told Steve once. I’ll fuckin’ kill myself before I become what he ended up becoming.

Steve didn’t know how to tell him. After a long morning on the construction site, Billy smelled of sunshine and sweat—not dirty sweat, not how Steve’s gym socks used to smell after three nights of basketball practice, rank and in definite need of a good wash—no, this smell was somehow deeper, purer in its base notes. Animalistic. His skin had taken on this lovely, bronze sheen, mixed in with the chalky dust of crushed gravel, and Steve didn’t know what it was—black magic pheromones, body chemistry—whatever the fuck was seeping from Billy’s pores in place of his usual soap and cologne, it smelled downright fucking erotic. God, Steve had missed him.

“Anything else?” Billy said, his head still cocked.

“Uh.” Steve stared around his bedroom, his tongue feeling as large as a golf ball in his throat. He pointed to the wall socket next to the nightstand. “Yeah, uh, I think there’s something wrong with the electricity. My phone—it’s plugged in, but it’s not—”

Billy’s eyes crinkled at the corners. “Well, it might help if you turned on the power first, pretty boy. Like this.” His knees creaked as he bent down, flipping the switch above the socket. Steve did not have the grace to feign shame; the new angle gave him a perfect view of Billy’s ass. “I’m still on the clock. Is there anything else you need before I—”

“My pipes,” he blurted wildly. “My pipes aren’t, uh, working.”

Billy’s eyebrows shot up. “Your pipes?”

He rose so quickly from where he was kneeling that Steve took a step back, his thighs hitting the edge of the bed. “Steve,” Billy said slowly. He closed the distance between them with an outstretching of his hand, flicking Steve gently between the eyes with his fingertip. “Did you remove the roof tile on purpose?”

“Wha—” Steve scoffed. “No—"

Billy’s finger flicked him again. “You know, if you wanted to see me that badly, you coulda just called me?”

“Calling isn’t the same as seeing.” He caught Billy’s hand in mid-air before it could chastise him a third time, turning it over and splaying his fingers across his palm. Most of Billy’s tattoos were, by his own admission, dumb—the product of a teenage boy’s poor impulse control and complete lack of regard for the self. Others were more personal. A grayscale portrait of his mother on his chest. His grandmother’s birthdate above his hip. A row of coordinates printed across the underside of his index finger, the skin around it still red and half-healed. Billy’s mom had been born in Central Valley, but she’d died in L.A. Those coordinates were her birthplace, the side of Billy’s family he’d never known.

Steve had wanted to be there for him. He’d assumed he would be there, as Billy’s boyfriend. It hurt, realizing that he hadn’t seen Billy for four days, hadn’t heard shit from him, and in that time frame Billy had gotten the tattoo without saying anything. It had made Steve feel stupid—humiliated.

He didn’t know how to tell Billy that, either. They’d only been together for three months. They hardly knew each other. If Billy had been Nancy, she would call Steve controlling. She would sit him down, and give him a long, sharp lecture about a woman’s right to choose.

“I miss you,” he said quietly. “I feel like I never see you. You don’t visit after work, you don’t come into the bar …”

Billy made a pained noise. “Baby, you know I can’t spend too much time in bars. You know I want to, but—”

“I know.” Steve’s throat was tight with an all too familiar dryness; he knew what it meant. “I’m sorry. I know. I just—”

“You’re just upset,” Billy spoke over him. “Because I work too much. And because I’ve been neglecting you. Haven’t I?”

Steve’s current streak was three months, the same amount of time they’d been exclusive.

It wasn’t without struggle. Instead of the closing shift, Steve was now bartending at the Hideaway during the day. Instead of staying out with Robin until the early hours of a Sunday morning drinking and smoking and talking absolute shit, he spent his Saturday nights at home, doing whatever he could to distract himself from the paranoia that came with going cold turkey, the tightness in his throat that made him want to peel his skin off. In the first month, Billy had been that distraction. He would wait for Steve to come home, they would fuck, and Steve would sleep the whole night through without needing a glass of wine to wash it down. He’d been too smitten to consider the logistics of the arrangement he’d stumbled into. He was still smitten, but as far as he could tell, Billy had gone cold.

He was a workaholic. They both were; idle hands, so to speak. Only now Steve was working three days a week instead of six, which meant he had a lot more time to miss Billy when he wasn’t there. A lot more time alone with the paranoia. Billy worked upwards of twelve hours a day, and more often than not he was too exhausted to do anything at Steve’s apartment aside from pass out on his bed. He didn’t feel like Steve’s boyfriend anymore. He felt like a roommate, sexless and distant. Steve fucking missed him.

Sobriety offered an unpleasant reality. In it, Steve was convenient. Little more than a motel that Billy could crash overnight when he was too tired to drive. Billy had liked the chase initially, the back and forth, but now that he had Steve, he was complacent. Bored. This new reality wasn’t entirely removed from the old one—Billy was pretty. He was surrounded by men all day, most of whom were married—but even the married ones had to have noticed how pretty he was. From a distance, it would be all too easy to mistake him for a girl. Steve hadn’t realized he had a type, until he met Billy. He hadn’t realized how little he knew about himself—his wants and his needs, his likes and his dislikes, his passions and his hates. That was just Billy. He walked into a room and smiled at everyone, looked into their eyes when he spoke to them. He made people feel special, even when he wasn’t trying. Even when he couldn’t care less.

“Steve,” Billy pressed. “Are you upset?”

He had that look in his eye. That look that made Steve feel particularly stupid, airless, like his throat had closed over and he couldn’t remember what he was going to say next. It occurred to him that he might be in love with Billy, and that without his former mechanisms of coping—talking shit with Robin, self-medicating with wine and cigarettes—there to bear the brunt of uncomfortable emotions, he was feeling them all at once, much too strongly. That look coupled with that voice Billy used when they were alone—low and breathy, coaxing Steve to c’mon, sweetheart, that’s it, be good for me—the look that plainly said, resistance is futile.

“What were you gonna do?” he said. He squeezed Steve’s hand, his mouth twisting like he was trying to hide a smile. “Flood your whole goddamn apartment?”

“I mean. It was enough to get your attention.”

“For future reference, I prefer flowers. Less, uh, mess.”

“I like flowers,” Steve said defensively. “Maybe you should think about getting me some, the next time you decide to disappear for, like, a week.” Slow down, he told himself, but the more he thought about it, the less he could hold the words in. “You know, sometimes I feel like we’re—we’re in a long-distance relationship? Even though you work right fucking next door?”

“You are upset,” Billy sighed, rubbing his jaw. His eyes stayed crinkled at the corners as he looked Steve up and down, his expression fondly irritated. “How long has it been since you last had a drink, huh?”

“Three months.”

“Three …” Billy stopped, then licked his lips. “The whole time?”

Steve set his jaw, and nodded. There was a long, loaded pause.

“You should’ve called me,” Billy said finally. “I didn’t know—Steve, why—?”

“Because I had to. You said it didn’t matter, but—but if I can’t see you because you can’t be where there’s alcohol, because you might relapse, then … what’s the point?” Steve flattened his palms over Billy’s chest, quelling the urge to squeeze his nipples until they hardened and turned red. “Haven’t you ever thought about how different our lifestyles are?”

Billy’s hand fell away from his face. He licked his lips, studying Steve’s palms with soft fascination. His voice was noticeably smaller, more unsure when he asked, “Cigarettes, too?”

“Yeah,” Steve said. “So if it’s okay with you—yeah, I am upset that you’re working a lot. You’re never here, Billy. You’re not … present. And I didn’t sign up for that.”

“Flowers,” Billy said at once. “That’s what you signed up for. Flowers, and chocolates, and candlelit dinners. Fuck. Fuck.”

“That comes later. Ideally.”

Billy let out a high-pitched, slightly giddy laugh. His hands dropped to Steve’s hips, pulling their bodies flush. He walked Steve backwards, until Steve found himself sitting on the edge of the bed with Billy’s thighs planted on either side of his hips. “Tonight,” he suggested, his necklace tangling in Steve’s hair. “Six o’clock. Enzo’s. I’ll make sure I finish early. And …”

“And?”

“And when we get back, I can take a look a look at your, uh,” Billy paused, his eyes crinkling and his mouth turning into a real smile as he pressed a chaste kiss below Steve’s ear, “pipes.”

He nosed over Steve’s neck, kissing his way back across to his mouth. The effect was shamefully instantaneous; the anxiety that had been plugging Steve’s throat dissipated, and he found himself spreading his legs to allow Billy to settle more comfortably between them. Billy’s mouth was rough when it reached his lips, the way he knew Steve liked it; he pulled on Steve’s bottom lip with his teeth, then soothed the bite with a rasping lick of his tongue that had Steve shuddering and spreading his legs wider, not wide enough.

“Five minutes,” he said breathlessly. “Can you stay for five minutes?”

He’d thought what he had with Nancy was love. Nancy had never kissed him the way Billy was kissing him now, though. He rocked against Steve’s crotch, threaded his hand through his hair so that Steve was forced to lift his chin to look at him, could see the way his cheeks were flushed, his eyes dazed, dark circles. He kissed Steve’s mouth, kissed his eyelids and his nose and his temples, and said, “Make it ten.”

[zayashmaya]

dipping my toe into clown lore

@clusband my ode to u

i was gonna make a much longer post about this but i have a really important exam in the middle of august so I'm too anxious to focus on anything else but i wanna spout some clown lore that’s gonna appear in my fic

see below for information on the human carnival festival, its ties to saturnalia and the feast of fools, and how i think purplebloods share similar practices.

warning: mentions of violence 

i’ve been digging around the web to learn more about the carnival festival that is celebrated globally in human culture. why do we go apeshit with cool costumes and indulge in our base desires during this holiday? what the fuck is it even for? 

turns out, it’s rooted in religion! who knew dressing in skimpy outfits and partying would be tied to god. i knew, that’s who. here we go - 

carnival seems to be a christianized version of saturnalia, a festival thrown by the romans to celebrate their god saturn. in much the same fashion as modern times, it was a big party with lots of fun and food and gambling and maybe a human sacrifice thrown into the mix, complete and total meltdown of morality, nothing too spicy. people also gave gifts and allowed their slaves to be seen as equals during this holy day. a person is nominated to be the king of saturnalia to oversee the festivities and act as the event organizer. this role might have also been used to instigate whimsical activities, because according to wikipedia (i know, crucify me for using it as a source): ‘His capricious commands, such as "Sing naked!" or "Throw him into cold water!", had to be obeyed by the other guests at the convivium: he creates and (mis)rules a chaotic and absurd world.’ 

but wait, there’s more! remember that human sacrifice i mentioned? yeah, it’s the king of saturnalia. At the end of 30 days from the start of the festival, their throat is slit on the altar of saturn. According to James Frazer:

We are justified in assuming that in an earlier and more barbarous age it was the universal practice in ancient Italy, wherever the worship of Saturn prevailed, to choose a man who played the part and enjoyed all the traditionary privileges of Saturn for a season, and then died, whether by his own or another's hand, whether by the knife or the fire or on the gallows-tree, in the character of the good god who gave his life for the world.

saturnalia, and in particular the role of the king of saturnalia, has been compared to yet another holiday - the feast of fools and all that it entails. it’s not totally understood what the feast of fools was originally meant to celebrate or how it was done, because historical texts kinda slacked on being historical and there were a lot of people who condemned this practice and consequently talked a lot of shit that may not have been true. this festival seems to have started off as a relatively harmless celebration within the church where men of lower rank would switch roles with the higher ups, possibly to symbolize humility and bringing down the mighty. 

the role reversal is very similar to what was done during saturnalia. furthermore, saturnalia was followed by the celebration of the calends of january, where a lot of the same sort of customs were upheld - slaves allowed to be free during festivities, homes were decorated, gifts were exchanged, etc. it seems that this is where christmas stems from. anyway, the theme of “power, dignity and impunity ... [being] briefly conferred on those in a subordinate position” is a common theme among all of these holidays. once again, it’s not really clear where the feast of fools came from or why it was created, but the influences are all there.

historians propose that the theme of role reversal among all of these holidays might be a mockery of those who were displeased with social order. by displacing those who were in power and partaking in the madness during these festivals, it was probably a message to people to show how crazy society would become, and that this was the future they would find themselves in, if everything was switched. or, here’s another theory by Victor Turner:

The order we are mocking is important but not ultimate; what is ultimate is the community it serves; and this community is fundamentally egalitarian; it includes everyone. Yet we cannot do away with the order. So we periodically renew it, rededicate it, return it to its original meaning, by suspending it in the name of the community, which is fundamentally, ultimately of equals, and which underlies it.

anyway, back to the feast of fools. humans were and always will be baboons, so while the feast of fools was largely condemned by the rest of the church, rich civilians were like ‘dudes lets get funky’ and started partying. i can’t summarize what follows well enough, because here is a great description from oxford bibliographies:

While the liturgical Feast of Fools struggled for survival inside the churches, unrelated festivities of bourgeois confraternities of fools outside the churches burgeoned. Dressed in motley costumes with ass’s ears, secular fools had their own distinct traditions of parades, comic performances, and mimicry. Subsequent scholarship largely confused the two traditions, prompting considerable misreading of the older ecclesiastical records and contributing to the mistaken but widespread view that the Feast of Fools was little more than a disorderly clerical revel.

sounds familiar? very much like saturnalia, y'all. history constantly repeats and reinvents itself a la stealing cultures and rebranding it as a new thing. 

somewhere in this absolute mess of history developed yet another tradition that is eerily similar to the king saturnalia - the role of the lord of misrule. a peasant or sub-deacon would be randomly appointed to preside over festivities, and it seems to have been during christmas. ALL of these things converge and influence each other and all happen around the same time (like decemberish), which is why it’s so hard to make sense of what’s what. anyway, wiki says that the lord of misrule “was an officer appointed by lot during Christmastide to preside over the Feast of Fools”. since the feast of fools became bastardized by secular influences, the holiday became one of revelry and weird shit going down. The lord of misrule called people to disorder, just like the king of saturnalia. thankfully, i can't find reports of the lord of misrule being a human sacrifice.

so where am i headed with this? i think this all SCREAMS purpleblood antics. 

as a spin-off from this post, imagine a festival where all purplebloods on alternia gather in the ancient city where the grand highblood once ruled. the lord of misrule is chosen among the clowns that were left abandoned in the city due to their mental instability. this role is immensely sacred to the clowns, because they revere the unstable purplebloods and would gladly follow their commands. as i said in that linked post, the unstable purplebloods are considered to be particularly blessed by the messiahs and are seen as prophets and guides. the chosen lord of misrule cannot really command the festivities because of their degenerated mental state, so there are priests appointed to interpret their word (like Chahut). 

the clowns bring captured lowbloods with them to the festival, and for this short period, they are allowed to be treated as equals. unbeknownst to them, they will eventually be sacrificed. their blood is used to paint the new clown initiates during the initiation ceremony at the end of the festival, in much the same way Chahut baptized mc during her route. as a final blessing to the clowns and to mark the end of the festival, the lord of misrule is sacrificed, and their blood is spilled on a sacred altar that runs down into a pool of purple blood left over from past lords. i dont know what this would be for yet. maybe the initiates have to drink from there, like how eating bread and drinking wine is considered consuming the body and blood of christ. maybe it symbolizes them growing closer to the messiahs. 

i’ll probably come up with more lore, but here it is for now. 

[cadenreigns]

Star vs the Forces of Evil: The Last Magic (part 2)

So here’s part 2 of my movie idea, which presents the driving force behind most of the remining decisions and events of the story. So enjoy.

6

Black screen slowly fades back into Marco’s POV, which shows Jackie kneeling over him with Tom and Rich Pidgeon looking over her shoulders. As the view becomes clear the repeated word “Muscles” changes into Jackie saying “Marco”

Marco: “Uuuugh.”

Jackie (while Tom lets out an exaggerated breath and Rich wipes his brow with his robot arm): “Oh thank goodness.”

Jackie helps Marco sit up while Janna pushes her way through Tom and Rich. We see that Marco now has a black eye.

Janna: “I’ve got ice!”

Janna practically punches Marco with the ice as she pushes it against his black eye.

Rich: “I’m terribly sorry, Marco. I guess I don’t always know my own strength.”

Janna (scowling at Rich while Jackie helps Marco hold the ice to his eye and stand up): “Strength?! You’re in a robot suit! The only reason his head didn’t explode is probably because his skull’s so thick!”

Marco: “Uh…what?”

Jackie: “She’s kind of got a point, man. Do you even need limbs that powerful for everyday life?”

Rich: “Oh dear” (holds robot hand over his cockpit) “Do you all feel this way?”

Tom (takes deep breath and holds hands together at the fingertips in front of his face): “Rich, maybe you should get out of the robot for now.”

Rich (hanging head): “I see. I’ll return to my dwelling henceforth and not bother you again with any future mechanical misfortune.”

Rich walks off towards the horizon, the camera following him for a few seconds before returning to Marco and the others.

Marco: “I’m not sure what all just happened, but did someone say something while I was on the ground?”

Jackie: “I said your name a couple times while trying to wake you up.”

Marco: “Oh, I thought I heard…never mind. Let’s...get back to class.”

Jackie (after exchanging slightly worried glances with Tom and Janna): “Actually, why don’t you let Janna take you to the nurse’s office. Tom and I will make sure the rest of the day goes the way it’s supposed to.”

Marco: “But-”

Janna (slides behind Marco and starts pushing him back towards the school): “No buts mister. She might not have magic anymore, but Star would kill us if we let you just walk around after that.”

Marco (sighing): “Fine.” (looks back at Tom and Jackie while still being pushed) “Just make sure no one eats anyone else, or steps on anyone else, or, and this is important-”

Tom (shouting): “Alright, we got it bud. Feel better!” (then more quietly to Jackie) “So how’s this feet ball game work anyway?”

Jackie shrugs.

7

Cut to the city hall exterior. The sun is setting and it’s much darker now. Star hugs Moon and River goodbye before River carries Moon home on his eagle queen. Star still has bags under her eyes. It gets a little darker and the streetlights come on one by one, eventually revealing Marco and Nachos waiting by the street corner. Initially Marco would be turned just enough to not show his black left eye.

Star (starting towards them): “There’s the best boyfriend in the world. I almost thought you were going to make me wait.”

Marco (trying to act cool): “You know me, just trying to make an entrance.”

Star (giggling): “Oh for sure, that’s the thing I know you for most. So how was your day?”

Marco (rubbing back of head): “Well, it had a bump or two.” (turns to face Star)

Star (horrified, grabs Marco by the cheeks and pulling him closer to look at his black eye): “Oh my cob! What happened to your eye!?”

Marco: “Well we were outside for the activity session and I thought football would be a good idea and, well…it turns out Rich’s robot arms are even stronger than they look.”

Star: “Well here’s something to make you feel better.” (kisses cheek)

Marco (pulling away and holding a hand over the cheek she kissed): “That does feel better”

Star (smiling): “Good. Ready to go home?”

Marco (mounting Nachos): “Actually, I was thinking we might stop somewhere else first.”

Star (tilting head slightly): “Where?”

Marco (smiling): “It’s a surprise.”

Star” “Oooh.” (jumps behind Marco and wraps her arms around him) “Well then lead away mister mystery.”

Marco revs up Nachos and they take off.

8

Cut to Marco with something bundled under his arm leading Star up a slightly wooded path while she holds her hands over her eyes, Nachos at the base of the hill they’re ascending.

Marco: “Almost there.”

Star: “I can’t wait I can’t wait.”

The camera, positioned so that it’s pulling back as Marco leads Star towards it, stops as they approach what looks like a cliff edge, then pushes in towards Star as he steps to the side.

Marco: “Alright, you can look now.”

Star removes her hands and her eyes grow wide and sparkly before the camera swings in place around her to be behind the couple as they look on over Echo Creek, the combined skyline sparkling beneath the mish-mashed like a reflection of the stars above.

Star: “It’s so beautiful.”

Marco (unfurling the blanket that was under his arm so they’ll have some place to sit): “I thought you might like it.”

Marco sits and gestures to the spot beside him. Star smiles and drops into her place.

Star: “You’re the best, Marco.”

Marco: “Only because I have someone so amazing to be my best for.”

The camera starts to pan down as it looks like they’re going to kiss, revealing that directly below their lookout point is a giant (as in big enough to house several trees) enclosed cage with a sign the reads “Spider Habitat: No trespassing.” Three shadows approach the cage, two revealed to be monster kids and the leader being Jeremy.

Monster kid 1: “Are you sure we should be doing this?”

Jeremy (waving him off): “Don’t go chicken on me. We’re just going to get a look at them. If they were really that dangerous they wouldn’t have gotten caged so quickly.”

Monster kid 2: “If you say so.”

Jeremy: “I do say so. Now keep quiet or someone’s going to hear us.”

The three kids go right up to the main gate on the spider cage, with Jeremy climbing a bit onto the gate itself and using the rusty chain keeping the gate shut as foot hold.

Jeremy: “Can you see anything?”

Monster kid 1: “No.”

Monster kid 2: “Told you we should have brought flashlights.”

Jeremy: “Yeah, because making it easier to see us is exactly what you want when sneaking around.”

Jeremy starts to climb a little higher up the gate for a better view, putting all his weight on the foot using the rusty chain as a foothold. “They’ve got to be here somewha-”

The chain snaps, the new ends wrapping around Jeremy’s leg as he goes tumbling to the ground, pulling the gate open a bit with him.

Monster kids 1 and 2 scramble over to him.

Monster kid 2: “Are you alright, man?”

Jeremy (cringing): “Yeah, fine. Just help me up.”

The monster kids attempt to help get him to his feet, but can’t seem to pull or untangle his foot from the chain. As they continue to try and get him loose, several sets of eyes in the cage start to light up in groups of eight. A clicking follows, causing all three kids to slowly look up. A long, hairy spider leg reaches out of the shadows. Then another, and another, and another until the first of many giant spiders is revealed. All three kids start screaming as the monsters continue to try and free Jeremy from the chain, but all their struggling just pulls the gate open farther.

The camera pans back up as they continue to scream, returning to Star and Marco as they appear to have just pulled away from their kiss.

Star (eyes narrowing as she looks around): “Do you hear something?”

Marco (also now looking around): “Yeah, it’s like something shrill and annoying.”

Star inches towards the edge of the cliff and looks over, gasping and then pointing when she sees what’s going on below them: “Marco look. Something’s happening at the spider habitat.”

Marco (straining his eyes to see): “Are those kids? Is that gate open!?”

Star (standing up quickly): “We’ve got to do something!”

Marco (also standing) whistles for Nachos, but Star doesn’t wait. In an instant she’s jumped off the cliff edge.

9

The camera zooms back to the children just as the first giant spider slams the gate open the rest of the way. This throws the monster kids away and pins Jeremy between the gate and the side of the cage. The spider looks between the three kids and just before it seems to decide which to feast on first, Star comes down boot first into its head. Two more leap through the open gate, but are intercepted as Marco comes falling down on them. An exciting fight scene would follow where Marco and Star beat the spiders back into the cage, but just when they think they’re done the first one wakes back up and starts to strike. At the last moment Nachos zooms down and smacks it with her tail, sending it flying back into the cage. Marco grabs the gate and pulls it (and Jeremy) back closed while Star grabs a branch that broke off during the fight and jams into the slot the chain had been wrapped through.

Just as it seems like everything’s going to be alright. with Star checking on the monster kids and Marco reluctantly helping Jeremy finally get un-tangled, lights flood the scene. At first they’re too bright to tell where they’re coming from, but then a figure steps between the lights and it becomes clear they’re sets of headlights from several military vehicles. The initial figure that’s still approaching is joined by several soldiers that encircle Marco, Star, Jeremy, and the monster kids.

Marco: “Eh, this guy.”

The leader of the soldiers finally comes into view, showing him to be a high ranking military leader (I imagine him being played by James Woods for some reason, so I’m just going to call him Major Woods).

Major Woods: “Well, well, well. I’m honestly surprised that it took this long for one of you monsters to try something like this.” With a hand signal, Major Woods has the soldiers closest to Star grab the two monster kids by the collars and start to drag them away.

Marco (stepping towards the Major and leaving Jeremey still chained to the gate): “Major Woods, it’s pretty obvious this human (emphasized) kid-”

Jeremey (looking annoyed): “You know my name.”

Marco (ignoring him): “-was the one to open the gate, whether he meant to or not. And look at them, they’re just kids who wanted to see some giant spiders.”

Star: “Yeah, you can’t drag them away for being…what’s that thing cats are…”

Marco (eyeing her briefly): “Curious.”

Star: “Right, you can’t blame them for being curious.”

Major Woods (rolling his eyes): “Mr. Diaz, Ms. Butterfly, why is it that every time something happens you two try to get in the way of my job? That’s not actually a right your mis-assigned government positions actually affords you.”

Star: “Well we have to since every time something happens you act like it’s some monster conspiracy.”

Major Woods (looking increasingly terse as he turns his attention to Jeremey): “Kid, is what they say true?”

Jeremey: “Kind of.”

Marco gives him a death glare.

Jeremey: “Kind of certainly I mean. We just wanted to see the spiders and the chain broke when I was trying to get a better view.”

Major Woods makes sort of a growling/sighing noise then turns to the soldiers restraining the monster kids. “Find out their addresses and then take them home” (looks at Star and Marco as he says the next part) “And make sure their whole families are aware they might not get off so easily next time.”

The soldiers let go of the monster kids collars and start more genially escorting them to one of the military vehicles while another pair start working on Jeremy’s still chained foot.

Major Woods: “You two can go now, we’ll take it from here.”

Marco shakes his head as Star glares at the Major, then he whistles and Nachos, seemingly having been ready to pounce the whole time, rolls out of the shadows and up to Star and Marco. They mount her and take off.

10

Screen starts black, but a crashing sound (with a very subtle “Muscles” line beneath it) causes it to open and reveal that we’re in Marco’s point of view as his eye opens to see the clock next to his bed read some time between 2 and 3 in the morning. There’s another crash from downstairs and the camera switches to a view of him getting up and out of bed. Taking his sword-hand dance-stance, Marco quietly steps into the hallway as more rustling goes on downstairs. He makes his way down the hall, pausing when he comes to Star’s doorway and finds it open. He peers in, where a beam of moonlight reveals her bed to be empty. Looking confused and worried as another crashing sound comes from downstairs, Marco picks up the pace as he reaches the stairs and starts down them. At the base of the stairs there’s a glow from the kitchen and taking the corner its revealed to be the fridge faintly illuminating the kitchen, which is now a mess as half the fridge’s contents have been tossed all over the floor. Star, who is standing in front of the fridge and has obviously been the one making the noise and mess, grabs something else and squints as she looks at it. The bags under her eyes are even bigger than before.

Star: “Is this… (mouths the words on the milk jug label) “nope.” (tosses milk to the side with a sploosh sound effect)

Marco (dropping his arms and side-stepping tossed food as he approaches): “Star, is everything alright?”

Star (looks up and gives a kind of half smile, she’s obviously very tired): “Oh hey…you (emphasized). Do we have any of that brown goop?”

Marco (looking increasingly worried): “The pudding? No. You finished it all. Remember? We talked about it yesterday.”

Star (turning back to the fridge): “That doesn’t sound right…and I could really go for some brown goop. You…you know I like my goop.”

Marco (places hands gently on Star’s shoulders and turns her to fully face him): “Star, what’s my name?”

Star: “What (draws out word), that’s a silly question.”

Marco (places hands on either side of her head to keep her focused as her eyes start to wander): “What’s my name, Star?”

Star’s eyes close tight as it’s obvious she’s trying to think of Marco’s name really hard, but the more she tries to think of it the more the corners of her eyes start to water. When she finally opens them, she can’t stop the first tear from rolling down her cheek.

Star: “I…I can’t remember.”

[dgcatanisiri]

The thing that bugs me about the whole mutiny plot in TLJ (besides everything) is that it really is fundamental of BAD. WRITING. Like the problems stem from the out of universe lack of cohesion between the two installments of the sequel trilogy, not based on characterization.

Because initial basics here - the tactical fault in the opening conflict that leads to Leia telling Poe he’s demoted is not Poe’s, but Leia’s. She’s the one holding the fleet, waiting for those fighters, when every fighter in the Rebellion in the original trilogy were established to have independent hyperdrives - Luke heads off to Dagobah in just his X-Wing, we see the snubfighters jumping to and dropping out of hyperspace among the fleet headed to Endor. Could the Resistance have only snubfighters that have no independent hyperdrive? It’s possible, but never established. But Leia keeps the fleet in close instead of withdrawing them, cutting their losses. It is HER choice to remain close enough to pick up the fighters, rather than rendezvous elsewhere. 

Likewise, his efforts make sense against the First Order that was established in The Force Awakens. The First Order was some rogue splinter group on the margins, demanding to be taken seriously. They were formed from the wreckage of the Empire and seen as the lunatic fringe. The First Order was established as a rogue state, ignored by the ruling power. The reason Starkiller is so effective as a superweapon is that no one saw it coming from the First Order because them having the resources to build that is such a surprise.

So Poe taking out a dreadnaught, a massive ship capable of laying siege to a planet? The First Order of TFA would be even further crippled by that - they should still be reeling from the loss of Starkiller, indeed, this would justify the appearance by Snoke and his flagship later on, because the Resistance has so seriously bloodied the First Order’s nose that maybe they’re going to need to go quiet for a while as they lick their wounds.

But that’s not what the First Order is in The Last Jedi. In TLJ, they’re in effect the Empire all over again. But again, they SHOULD NOT HAVE THE RESOURCES THE EMPIRE DID. The Empire was built up on top of the bones of the Old Republic. The Empire was broken apart and driven to the margins of galactic society and the New Republic rose to power, taking that structure to build their own government. 

There is no explanation of how the First Order goes from rogue state to de facto top of the food chain - even accepting the destruction of the Hosnian system creating a power vacuum, there is no way that the First Order can maintain that power. Their biggest weapon - Starkiller - is destroyed before the shock of the Hosnian’s destruction sinks in. They might have gotten some people flock to them, but at most, TLJ is taking place a few weeks after TFA, if that - the impression we get in the film proper is that this is maybe days after TFA. Even if dozens of systems are rushing to their banner in fear, one, they have no way of building and manning their ships, to say nothing of their inability to hold those planets tight once the destruction of Starkiller is known. 

But, again, we have characters reacting as if they’re dealing with the Empire. And the result of the treating of the First Order as the Empire is that the Resistance is treated as the Rebellion. The Resistance was a volunteer militia in TFA. It was literally a case of taking the bodies that came. The Rebellion, having been formed well before the start of ANH, had developed a military structure, especially since many of its recruits were Imperial defectors. If the Resistance is a militia, then morale plays a very different role than it does in a traditional military, because these are people who are volunteers. Volunteers from more military structures like the New Republic’s own armed forces, but volunteers - the majority of the “officers” of the Resistance are likely acting out of direct respect for Leia, who is the head of this ragtag band.

And that’s what makes Holdo’s actions and decisions so frustrating - she takes command as the last chain in the command structure, and then acts as if she assumes she has the same loyalty of the troops as Leia, as someone who was probably the reason many of these people are even there. She makes no effort to get the troops to believe in her, to inspire them, and Poe gets this treatment from her that the producers actively redubbed to change her dialogue, tone it down. So we have Poe responding to her original lines and line readings, while she’s saying different things. Yes, I have to criticize this as an out-of-universe thing, because this is the producers actively altering the language of their film to evoke an audience response the actors weren’t conveying. 

Speaking of language of film, I have to address Holdo’s costuming. There’s an interview from the costume designer, who says that the response from Rian Johnson about Holdo, when originally presented with designed that were military in design and cut, as befitting someone called “Admiral” throughout the script, is “Oh no, no, no, no. She’s flirting with Oscar Isaacs’ character, I don’t want her to be in a uniform, I want her to be unique and almost balletic.”

...

First of all, WOW, what a can of worms to get into that he thought of Holdo and Poe’s interactions as flirting. Secondly, we’re talking about a character who is in a military combat situation, immediately after a military evacuation, and she’s walking around in what looks like a cocktail dress. Dressed to dine with senators in the midst of an existential crisis. THAT tells you a lot about the priorities that went into these decision.

Like this is also my biggest complaint with Leia’s costuming in TLJ, that she’s wearing these same senatorial-style robes, cut in a similar design as her attire in ANH - where Leia was explicitly using a diplomatic mission as a cover for her holding the Death Star plans. In every other military situation - the assault and evacuation of Echo Base, the planning of the raid of Endor, effectively every scene on Endor that calls for combat instead of opening communication with the Ewoks, even last movie as they’re planning to fight the First Order, Leia is in military gear, a uniform. This is a woman who gets in the trenches with her men and wears practical get up for fighting. 

Yet TLJ puts her in robes and a secure command bunker on her ship as blasters are firing and the men and women under her command are fighting. And this is obviously not a character thing, because she was doing the same as her people last movie, which, again, was only days prior.

And, you know, let’s go ahead and talk about the “Holdo flirting with Poe” thing, at least briefly. She is his superior officer, whatever way you come down on the righteousness of either of their actions. And, again, mid-crisis. This isn’t the time ANYONE should be bothering with flirting. To say nothing of the deeply creepy fetishizing that this turns that unconscious caress into (if that wasn’t subtextually there to begin with), where this white woman is fondling an unconscious Latino man. This also undermines her as a character, if she was doing all of this as flirtation - again, priorities, lady.

Poe handles the issue with Holdo with a lot of restraint - he talks to her about her decisions in a private setting, gets shut down. He makes a scene on the bridge, explicitly saying “I don’t care if I’m not in the loop, just tell me there IS a plan!” and gets nothing again. He pulls a blaster on Holdo, in the name of acting to defend the Resistance from someone who, from all appearances, is making no effort to protect and preserve the lives under her command as the ticking clock nears zero, and STILL asks if she has any defense for her seeming lack of decisions, and she STILL says nothing. 

And Poe isn’t acting alone. He has Connix, Billie Lourd’s character, on his side, acting in concert with him. And she was seen at the start actively commanding the evacuation of D’Qar, which is not a task for a junior officer. So this says that SHE was locked out of the loop as well. 

And, going back to the “volunteer militia” thing again, that’s another major issue here. Because these are characters and people actively concerned about their continued survival, and the woman who drove them to be there in the first place is out of commission. Yeah, there’s the concern about desertions at this point, which conceptually lead to either defections or capture and interrogation, but this is not explicit in the movie’s text. 

So she’s locking out a volunteer militia about the decisions being made in regards to their survival, to the point that she is not even telling them there is a plan, not just on a supposed hot-headed pilot (who, honestly, should have been on standby for psychiatric reasons, considering the torture he went through and PTSD he’s probably carrying from the multiple back-to-back near death experiences, all of which TLJ is completely dismissive of, as if it never even happened), but even other high ranking members, all of this as their fuel runs out and they’re desperate to survive, to the point that Poe feels he has to remove her from command because there is no indication that there is anything being done to save the lives under her command. 

So, why am I supposed to view him as a hot-headed maverick instead of the voice of reason and sanity as all indications are that she’s leading the Resistance into a nosedive, exactly?