#and xiaoge is really just trying

[pangzi]

thinking thoughts about pangzi and xiao hua...

[hils79]

Hils Watches Meet You At The Blossom - Ep 3

I was supposed to be at a kpop event with some friends today but plans fell through because of the weather so I'm home a lot earlier than planned. Figured I may as well squeeze in another episode

Yeah! Down with the system!

I love both of Xiaobao's servants

Oh shit! I know it's a flashback but I wasn't expecting a family massacre after 3 episodes

Aww so his little sister is the adopted sister of...someone. His best friend who got murdered? Either way he might be useless with women and men but he's a good big brother

Okay, I feel very stupid but I have no idea what the plot of this drama actually is. Like I know he's here to steal this ledger that Xiaobao's dad apparently has but I have no idea what it is. And apparently it's connected to Xiaobao's adopted sister?

I am going to laugh SO hard if he comes up with the genius plan to make Xiaobao fall in love with him so he'll help him find the ledger, meanwhile Xiaobao is also trying to make Huai'en fall in love with him as part of revenge scheme.

Both of them: I'll just make him fall in love with me

Then they'll be all surprised pikachu when they realise they're in love with each other.

Oh, please let this happen

Boy clearly enjoys being choked

Cute!

He's definitely not going to be thinking about that kiss for days

OMG was that the tiniest hint of a smile?

Wait, so Xiaobao's dad was at least partially involved in the murder of Xiaoyu's entire family? And then adopted her afterwards? Damn.

Hmm...sex pollen dubcon is a little different to 'I've paralysed you and now I'm going to seduce you'. Not sure how I feel about this.

Oh, except now he's treating his injuries instead. I mean still not cool but definitely way better than what I was expecting

I'm not saying I have a type but Huai'en being all stoic in the attempts at seduction but then getting turned on by someone taking care of him is definitely a thing that I am into.

Oh my god he was fine the whole time and still lay there while Xiaobao took care of his injuries.

Also, unrelated to this specific moment, as someone who has spent years in the DMBJ fandom it's really hard to not type Xiaoge automatically whenever I try and type Xiaobao

Oh, okay, I guess they're going to have sex again. That definitely took an unexpected turn.

Aww he laughed!

Xiaobao looks so delighted

This reminds me of that bit in Titanic

Same thing

I love it when the stoic one has a small meltdown due to unexpected feelings

Ooh someone's jealous!

Uh oh

Wait, what?

Oh no is he sick? Is Huai'en going to have to take care of him? :D?

He is loving this

LMAO he is so shameless!

Aww he's a good boy

[missfangirll]

DMBJ Recommendations

I was inspired by @mekare-art's rec post, so have some of my favorites 🥰

Disclaimer: If some of these have been named already I'm sorry, it just shows they are really good 😁 Also that is not even a tenth of what I want to shove into y'all's faces, this tiny fandom produces some incredibly good works 😁 (Maybe I'll add more when I remember them 😅)

fanvids - Light Years Away by Mrseclipse555 (PingXie) - Selfless by Mrseclipse555 (PingXie) - Bubblegum Bitch by Fallen Star (HeiHua) - Loving Strangers by Plum Moon (HeiHua) - Young and Beautiful by Plum Moon (PingXie & HeiHua)

polyamory - sweet thing by lungache (Iron OT3: slice of life, Iron Triangle are old men) - the water remains water by OnyxSphinx (Iron OT3: Xiaoge learns to want)

pingxie - Tabula Rasa by xantissa (Xiaoge has a bout of amnesia and reaches some conclusions regarding Wu Xie) - till some other door opens by Humanlighthouse (Xiaoge has PTSD) - Sanguine by MnemonicMadness (Xiaoge has a nosebleed)

heihua - everything ilgaksu has ever written, really, but especially the involved metaphors series; that one is my favorite; look how long this love can hold its breath (Xiao Hua is Xiazi's safe space) - been trying to find my way back by ilgaksu (Wu Erbai gives Xiazi a shovel talk) - the whole The Art of Conversation series by destimushi and JhanaMay

honorable mentioning because I have no idea where to put it: - choose your own erasure by ilgasksu (Xiaoge goes to Xiazi for advice, includes a hint of Iron OT3)

[bean-in-dice]

Pingxie/Xieping Chinese Fic Recs

Part 8

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

.

1. Where everyone gets poisoned by a lovebug and fall for Wu Xie

人人都爱小三爷

2. Super cute Vampire!Xiaoge and Embalmer!Wu Xie au

Mortuary

3. SCP AU

收容失效

4. Even the zombies and forbidden women ship Pingxie

817中元节粽子开会

5. Wu Xie's headspace as he gets old and people start passing away

难言之隐

6. Xiaoge sees Wu Xie sleeping in discomfort covered in mosquito bites. E rated.

你是我最美的风景——片段3

7. A 5 chap collection of Pingxie being sticky and sweet with each other

【瓶邪】和闷油瓶的三十个贤者时间

8. New Year's day Yucun with iron triangle and Xiaohua, a warm and fuzzy read

明日岁华新

9. Slice-of-life style snippet where Pingxie climb a mountain to catch the sunrise, meet new generation youths from Zhejiang university.... just warm and peaceful settled-in vibes

吴山小记·天明则归

10. A lovely genderbent Pingxie GL that is also E rated!!! Liked it a lot. You get to imagine ZQL wearing a braid and using it like a whip heh

【瓶邪瓶】风吹草动

11. A gentle, comfortable short story where Pingxie go on a lil shopping spree.

【瓶邪】那什么的购物指南

12. A collection of non-explicit Pingxie shorts, taking place after the Ten Years, containing themes like first kiss, introspection, intimacy and Yucun cottagecore

不系舟

13. Wu Xie decides to build a fireplace in their Yucun home

温暖壁炉

14. Where Wu Xie returns from abroad for Pangzi's wedding with a boyfriend who's not really compatible with him, and then reunites with his deskmate Zhang Qiling from high-school.

【瓶邪】教授我想当小三

15. Where Xiao Wu says "I will marry a man if he's as perfect as a god in a poster" and the literal qilin god ZQL falls from sky to his lap😆Really fun fic.

【瓶邪】《喜从天降》

16. Where Wu Xie gets transported into a universe where Xiaoge is living in peace with his mom, after having the thoat-slit accident. Very sweet and heartwarming read.

寂静雪域

17. A non traditional A/B/O fic where Wu Xie and Xiaoge are both alphas, that narrative worked perfectly for the entire Post-Shahai Wu Xie being all "but I'm not that sweet and soft little kid anymore, I'm rough and jagged and bossy and gotta be generally very unappealing to Xiaoge" thing.

【瓶邪】顽石（原著向ABO短篇完结）

18. Pingxie try BDSM

【瓶邪】毛筆與曬衣夾（BDSM）

19. Early 19's, Hong Kong, aspiring young writer Wu Xie and an intriguing sort-of a playboy Xiaoge, a series of passionate rendezvouses.

房间

20. Li Cu visits Yucun, Wu Xie cares and worries from afar and does nothing to quell people's rumors that Li Cu is his son, and Xiaoge is very understanding.

吃白饭

.

See here for Non-Pingxie fic recs

[thelaithlyworm]

Actually I thought I'd talk about my podfic covers, just a little bit. Because I can't draw for shit -- what I do is digital collage, sliding resources around on the screen until they look good -- but they're not un-adjacent to art either and I liked how some recent design choices worked out.

Sometimes it really is easy. I find a nice shot on Pixabay or some other digital commons, slap a title on it, and go. Sometimes I just need to trim a little, or run something through a funky filter:

[ID Cover of "Precious Jade", featuring Xiaoge's head and torso but in black and white, and reversed, so he looks like crystal against a black background. End ID]

Or fill in some blank space because the pic doesn't match the frame of an album cover:

[ID Cover of "I Have Seen Troy", featuring the painting “Hélène sur les remparts de Troie” by Gustave Moreau. A paler column on the left, where the title runs vertically, was made from an enlarged detail of the painting. End ID]

Sometimes I'm trying to turn This

into This:

[ID Two photos, one of the actor Bai Yu in a blue jacket next to a screenshot of him playing a long-haired Zhao Yunlan, followed by the cover of "Likeness", with a 'painting' of the god Kunlun, his turquoise robes and long hair tumbling about him. End ID]

Sometimes it's... kinda both?

For "Ghost at the Threshold" I got so super lucky with Pixabay searching. The fic involves two people in a kind of protective dreamscape of camping while trapped behind the heavy Bronze Doors of canon. I lucked into a camping scene -- with a guy in a black hoodie, no less! -- and a stock image of a gate with the centre helpfully cleaned in about five minutes.

[ID Two images, one of the ornamental arch of a stone door with a blank in the centre, the other a photo of two people under a tent-awning, chatting comfortably as smoke from a campfire rises between them. End ID]

“People Camping Tent” by 철��� 박 – https://pixabay.com/photos/people-camping-tent-lifestyle-4817872/ (Pixabay Licence) “Doorway Palace Architecture”  – https://pixabay.com/illustrations/doorway-palace-architecture-gate-1420437/ (Pixabay Licence)

A bit of tinkering and sliding around, and I got a lovely shot of that brightly coloured scene shining out from its dark frame:

[ID The camping scene shown above, slightly stylised, bright in the frame of the stone arch. End ID]

Only problem is, I needed to put a title on that and every time I tried I lost that gorgeous inky black and distracted from that vibrant wilderness scene. The wilderness was supposed to be the focus!!

So I experimented a bit with repeating the gate element to make a corridor to draw the eye up to the upper right quadrant even in a busier image. And since I was doing that anyway, an option presented itself for dealing with the text:

[ID Similar image to above, but the door element now looks like a corridor and the title "Ghost at the Threshold" trails from upper right to lower left, following the line of corridor. End ID]

I still get a lot of that inky black and I got the text to marry with the corridor, suggesting steps going downward.

Design was perpetrated.

I'm feeling very proud.

[luciferapollyon]

"MK?" Asked a voice in the void. "That's what you call yourself, right?"

MK turned. Standing before him was Macaque, the monkey who the Lady Bone Demon had possessed. She'd probably been possessing him the entire time. Now, though, it was obvious that Macaque was alone with no lingering coldness or cruelty in his eyes or in the small sad smile he shot MK's way.

"Yeah. Yeah, I call myself MK. It started off short for Mystery Kid because that's what Pigsy and Mr. Tang used to call me before they settled on a name." MK said with a self-conscious chuckle. "Of course, it doesn't really stand for that anymore."

"I see."

"Sometimes I wish I could remember what my parents must have named me. I mean, I must have parents, right?" MK said before sighing. "Not that it matters, since they must not have wanted me."

"I did." Macaque said quietly causing MK to look up at him in shock. "I did want you. You are a stone monkey like myself and Wukong and Yuan and Mahou before us. I made you because I wanted you. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry I let my anger and hatred for Wukong get the better of me. I didn't intend to leave you alone like I had been."

"I..." MK paused, took a breath and shifted closer to the dark furred monkey. "If I'm a stone monkey then why don't I look like you or Monkey King?"

"You're glamored pretty thickly. Come here." Macaque said shuffling closer to MK and reach out to him. MK closed the gap letting Macaque touch his face and run his hands through his hair before Macaque gently cupped his ears and what looked like a bubble of golden light increased and then popped off of MK's skin leaving him with fur; three tails and six softly glowing petal-like ears, like Macaque's own.

"There's my Xiaoge." Macaque said quietly. "My little song. I'm so sorry, kiddo. I wish I had more time."

"More time?"

"Yeah. When you destroyed the Lady Bone Demon, she was still possessing my physical form. You sent her soul straight through to destruction, but in the process..."

"I killed you!" MK exclaimed, his face falling and a sob came from his throat.

"Sh...sh." Macaque whispered as he drew the young man into his arms and held him tightly. "None of that, ok. I wanted to tell you that it's going to be okay. I'm so happy that you grew up and made friends and I am so proud of you. I loved you when all you were was a stone egg I'd sing to late at night. I love you now. I left the spell that dampens your hearing down to normal people levels in place, but you should have...you should have your Grandpa Wukong teach it to you, I know he knows it. I heard him learn it. You'll be ok. Just listen with your top set of ears before you listen to Wukong about anything. And..." Macaque held MK out from him to look at him one last time as his form began to waver. "Could you tell Pigsy and Tang that I'm grateful they were there for you when I couldn't be."

"I can tell them that, yeah." MK sniffed and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I killed you."

"I let you. She was trying to escape, and she would have made sure I didn't survive her leaving my body. She would have ripped my soul apart." Macaque said quietly. "Her form was never physical, and the only way to kill her normally would have taken the holiest of people with the holiest of weapons. I held her in my body and let you finish us both. It was the only way. I'm sorry, but we don't have any more time. I love you, my son."

With that Macaque vanished into the void.

*

So, AU idea where each Celestial Primate parents the one right after it. So, the Gibbon was a father to the Horse Monkey and the Horse Monkey was supposed to mother Wukong, but she died suddenly before Wukong was made. Wukong was away when Macaque was born and Macaque was all alone for the whole of his life because of this.

[lunanoc]

so probably against what should have been my better judgment, i went ahead and actually wrote “meta”, except it’s only borderline meta because it ends up veering off into crack theory territory and is also insanely long, but i figure since it’s now too long to be posted as a discord liveblog like it was supposed to be, i might as well just. post it here (in several parts because no one wants a 10k post lbr)

disclaimer: i like to be transparent about where i’m coming from, so just know that i have not finished reading all the books yet. currently i’m practically through everything, books and extras included, up until and including sand sea part III, so anything i talk about relating to that is my own reading experience. i’ll sometimes reference later books i’ve either read snippets of, or talked about with people who have (and verified the information as best as i could), but because i lack full context for those, any mentions of those elements are automatically grain of salt and relegated to crack theory. for everything i have read that i can grab quotes for, i’ll be providing clear references to the specific chapters of the books they’re from

also, blanket spoiler warning for the books

but that being said, let me actually get into this thing:

king shang of lu, the iron-masked gentleman, king mu of zhou, the queen mother of the west, how they’re connected, who they might be, and what that could mean for the larger dmbj narrative

PART I: KING SHANG OF LU AND THE IRON-MASKED GENTLEMAN

writing this shaved years off of me, the rabbit-holing was insane, and there’s still no clear answers in the end but welcome to the ride i guess

starting off here, the problem with these two characters is that we have conflicting information about them from three different sources that all give a different version of the same story, all of which are various degrees of dubious for different reasons. and you could say ok but really, who cares i do apparently about these two because in the larger plot they don’t really amount to much in the end

BUT

given both the things we learn by the end of sand sea (and elements that pop up in later installments) about all the various parties involved in what’s essentially a subplot, and the fact npss goes into so much detail with such a deliberate throwback to something all the way back in the first book, i don’t think the fact that the various versions of the story of king shang of lu sometimes blatantly contradicting themselves is a mistake, but is rather proof of deliberate obfuscation of the truth. npss tends to like revisiting sometimes seemingly anecdotal or trivial things from previous books to connect them with a subsequent revelation, or open the door to a different interpretation of them, so that he’d do it here isn’t all that surprising to me

the three versions of the story of “the emperor” (or the ruler of the state of lu), king shang of lu, and the iron-masked gentleman we get are, in order of appearance:

version 1 from a silkbook found in the purple jade box in “king shang of lu”’s coffin (Book 1, Ch. 26, Purple Jade Box)

version 2 from xiaoge himself who gives an opposing account to the previous one that he supposedly read from a warring states period silkbook he found in a song dynasty tomb (Book 1, Ch. 26-27, Purple Jade Box / Lies)

version 3 from the powerpoint lesson given by the wang family to li cu (Sand Sea Part III, Ch. 132, 133, 134, Lesson / King Mu of Zhou / Deception)

the first two accounts are both from book 1 and immediately follow each other, but neither of them quite fit with the last one, or at least it would seem so. you could argue this is simply because book 1 was when npss was still trying to figure things out both with his plot and characters, so the final account given by the wang family is a retcon, and while that’s always possible, like i mentioned, npss likes to connect things and tends to either incorporate these kinds of seemingly obscure and irrelevant details for a reason, or simply retroactively fleshes them out to revisit them at a later date and shed a new light on the bigger picture. so it’s more the fact we just don’t know which things he implements deliberately from the start and which ones he ties back to retroactively, but in the end seeing as the result is the same it doesn’t matter much. what does matter is that he does it pretty consistently, so it’s safe to assume he’s also doing it with this particular story (side tangent, but i like to think that npss has shown he’s a big fan of something called chekov’s gun and no i won’t elaborate on that or else i’ll be here for hours but google that if you’re interested it’s fun)

so tldr; i basically just want to argue that by intentionally bringing back this story with obvious divergences, it might be a way to shed light on something else that informs king shang of lu’s story while placing it as a puzzle piece in the bigger picture of dmbj lore

but let’s break down those three different accounts of the story of king shang of lu

the first account

i’m going to tldr; most of these for the sake of clarity, but i’ll be referencing the various chapters all these bits are taken from if you want to verify any of it

technically the first real account of king shang of lu’s story we get is what’s written on the stone slab in the hall with all of the coffins in the seven star palace that says that he was “born with a ghost seal and could borrow ghost soldiers from the underworld” (Book 1, Ch. 10, Shadow), but i’m not counting that as a full-blown version of the story because it’s not dwelt on all that much and mostly serves as a preamble for pangzi to later posit to wu xie that it’s a bunch of bs and was probably just an exaggeration meant to mythologize king shang of lu given that the tomb itself is a weird anachronistic mix of western zhou and warring states architecture (which is an important argument but maybe not for the reasons you’d think)

so i consider the first fleshed-out version of king shang of lu’s story we get to be the one wu xie reads off of the silkbook he and wu sanxing pull from “king shang of lu”’s coffin, and is one that very quickly gets debunked within book 1 itself multiple times, so while it may seem easy enough to write off, it’s not so much what it says that’s interesting, but rather why it exists in the first place

this version of the story essentially relates the life and deeds of king shang of lu, recorded on what’s supposed to be a warring states period silkbook pulled from the man’s own coffin. it talks about how he inherited his title from his father and was a lowly grave robber lord who was cruel and greedy, and how one day he gained from a snake demon/spirit in a tomb he excavated “two treasures” in a “purple and gold box” (this will be important later) which are never explicitated, although wu xie speculates one of those treasures to be the ghost seal as its acquisition is directly mentioned in the text. the snake comes to king shang of lu in a dream and promises to make him a high-ranking official and teach him how to use the treasures in the box if he spares its soul (he doesn’t). and so king shang of lu becomes a military officer under the command of the “emperor” of the state of lu. in his later years, however, he starts to get old and sick, and so the “emperor” demotes him back into being a lowly grave robber, and he starts to fear death, so king shang of lu goes to his military advisor, the “iron-masked gentleman” or 铁面先生 tiemian xiansheng, in search of a solution. the iron-masked gentleman then tells him that something called jade burial armor, a treasure from ancient times, exists, and that it can keep someone young forever. so king shang hunts and hunts and scours tomb after tomb until eventually he finds a western zhou dynasty tomb which will later become the seven star palace where he discovers a corpse wearing the famed jade buriam armor. iron mask takes the corpse out of the armor, subdues the blood zombie it turns into, and then helps king shang of lu fake his death in front of the “emperor” so he can be buried in the tomb he built for himself on top of the western zhou tomb he’d found (Book 1, Ch. 26, Purple Jade Box)

however

this version is quickly debunked twice in pretty quick succession, and then a third time a bit later, still in book 1, but before i get to that, a few extra little details i want to point out:

to be fair literally no one (who doesn’t speak chinese and is reading the original text anyway) would be able to guess either from the translation or merebear’s footnotes that “iron-masked scholar/gentleman” or 铁面先生 is not in fact necessarily meant to be taken literally. it’s partly an idiom. 铁面 tiemian is an expression that can mean “someone who is upright in character”, in other words someone with a positive reputation. so this man isn’t necessarily implied to have worn a mask at all (i think he did, but that’s also for later)

the purple and gold box that’s mentioned in this version of the story is the one wu xie finds in the hands of the corpse of the green-eyed fox (who’s also wearing the belt that has the qilin blood clot wu xie accidentally swallows can you believe, which is also another detail for later) that’s accompanied by a key in the corpse of a woman next to it (Book 1, Ch. 22, The Eightfold Treasure Box)

the second account

before we get into the first version of the story more, let’s briefly take a look at the second one. the first version of the story is first debunked by the second version of the story which is told in abridged format by xiaoge pretty much right after wu xie finishes reading the silkbook. he says that the silkbook’s account is incorrect because the person in the jade armor isn’t king shang of lu, but iron mask who faked his own death in order to escape the systematic execution king shang of lu enacted on all the people who knew about and/or helped build his tomb. he then snuck into the seven star palace and disposed of king shang of lu’s body before taking the jade armor for himself

xiaoge explains that he found this story in a song dynasty tomb he’d robbed a few years ago that contained a complete silkbook that turned out to be iron-masked gentleman’s memoirs (Book 1, Ch. 27, Lies). and you’d be inclined to believe this version of the story over the first one because it’s xiaoge telling it, and xiaoge usually isn’t one for intentional deception unless it serves a purpose, even less so if it’s verbal deception (literally the only time i can think of him openly lying rather than lying by omission is when he disguises himself as professor zhang). except even this version is called into question multiple times. the first time is by wu xie himself, who while choosing not to confront xiaoge about it, senses that xiaoge seems uneasy when wu xie presses him on the point that if it’s true that two people were pulled out of the jade armor in that tomb, then why is there no second blood corpse. xiaoge answers that he doesn’t know because iron masks’s memoirs only mention it briefly, and that maybe king shang of lu was pulled out early enough that he didn’t turn into a blood zombie. technically there’s the mummified body they find in the sacrificial ding cauldron next to the coffin with the monster at the entrance to the seven star palace whose head is cut off that could fit that description (Book 1, Ch. 9, Ancient Tomb), but in any case xiaoge according to wu xie looks like he’s lying. the second time this version is refuted is by wu sanxing, but i’ll get to that when i get back to the first account and how it also gets debunked

arguments against the second account 

i already mentioned xiaoge isn’t typically someone who’s into overt deception as a course of action unless it’s strictly necessary (and even then). it’s always possible he was either acting on a compulsion from the heavenly gift or under some order from chen pi ah si (since he was working for him at the time, even if i doubt this to be completely honest) or even something else, so it’s mostly my own assumption that he’s not actively deceiving them by fabricating a story, because xiaoge’s deception usually relies on omission rather than a concentrated effort at producing an elaborate lie. so really, the only fact we can be certain of is that he has an “uneasy look in his eyes” when he talks about the lack of another blood corpse, and that wu xie gets the impression he’s lying, which is a sentiment wu sanxing apparently shares because they look at each other in that moment and silently agree. whether this means xiaoge was *actually* lying, or that wu sanxing was taking advantage of xiaoge’s unease to further his own deception (re: arguments against the first account i’m getting to in a bit) is really up in the air

however

i’d like to think if xiaoge was lying and there was nothing more to it than that, he wouldn’t make it so apparent that that was the case given he only ever really projects visible upset or discomfort at anything when it’s related to his memories or lack thereof, and only much later in the story does that start to extend to allowing himself moments of vulnerability, or just his own brand of open concern for wu xie and pangzi. but this is all happening in book 1 where wu xie, as perceptive as he is about people, doesn’t know xiaoge yet, and so doesn’t know his tells. therefore that he can tell xiaoge is visibly emoting when it’s xiaoge is noteworthy in itself. also, given that book 1 takes place at a time when xiaoge’s memory was still very much lacking and fragmented, and he was likely still working for chen pi ah si partly to search for his memories, i wouldn’t be surprised if his unease was visible because the confrontation of both the first and second versions of the story started triggering his memory in some capacity, or it might have even triggered the heavenly gift senses into letting him know that there was something of importance in these stories since the particular episode of it he’s going through at the time gets a bit fast-forwarded from the seven star palace onward seeing as not too long afterwards xiaoge goes into the gate at the end of book 3

something else that’s worth mentioning is the logic behind these memoirs of iron mask even existing. why it would be in a song dynasty tomb is up for debate and probably irrelevant (although it does to be fair align with king mu’s motives of perpetuating grave robbing for deliberate dissemination of information), but mostly i question how he could have written his memoirs if he faked his death and slipped into the jade armor himself shortly after, unless he waited a significant amount of time before doing so and lived his life in hiding, which is also possible given there’s nothing more we know about him. but more food for thought

arguments against the first account

let’s go back to the first account from the silkbook for a bit and take a look at the other two times besides xiaoge’s second account where this version is debunked:

the second debunking comes from wu sanxing as he and wu xie are waiting around in jinan while panzi is in the hospital, and wu sanxing comes back outraged bc when he tried to have the silkbook they brought back from “king shang of lu”’s coffin, he was apparently told it was a forgery because the gold in it was too pure to have dated back to the warring states period, and so was necessarily more recent, though how recent is never specified (Book 1, Ch. 29, Purple-and-Gold Box). he then suggests to wu xie that he thinks it’s xiaoge who snuck into the tomb ahead of them, and with his skills successfully planted a dupe to trick them. i’ll get back to this eventually, but again, while it’s not impossible, it feels unlikely to me that xiaoge would extend so much effort in deception unless it served a clear purpose he agreed with, which is why i’m not convinced he would have blindly been following orders from someone like chen pi ah ai. and xiaoge would likely not have gone to the trouble of making a fake silkbook either, so the idea would have to have come from chen pi ah si, which then brings into question what motive chen pi ah si would have had to go to such lengths to deceive wu sanxing. again, really the only time we ever see or hear of xiaoge making an effort at deliberate deception is when he disguises himself as professor zhang, and while we never get an explanation for the reasons behind that, that’s more likely to have stemmed from feeling like he had to conceal his identity rather than wanting to deceive if that makes sense. in any case, i don’t know what tangible reason xiaoge would have had to deceive wu sanxing and his team with a fake silkbook even if he’d been acting on chen pi ah si’s orders, because would chen pi ah si have had a reason to go to the effort of creating a fake silkbook to deceive wu sanxing with details so specific that you quite literally have to have been in that tomb before to know them?  

the third debunking of the silkbook version is ironically a reverse uno from xiaoge directed at wu sanxing when he, wu xie, and pangzi are stuck in wang zanghai’s tomb in xisha (Book 1, Ch. 63, Chain). xiaoge’s just recovered a massive amount of his memories related to the first xisha expedition, and very bluntly tells wu xie that not only is the silkbook from the seven star palace a fake, it was wu sanxing who planted it there. to which wu xie obviously responds with “wtf no you did”. to which xiaoge then replies completely deadpan as he does with “no, it was your sanshu, he and da kui dug a hole under the tree to do it, probably why da kui had to be silenced”. which leaves wu xie very torn about what and who to believe. and mind you this is also a little before they find the inscription on the wall from “xie lianhuan” accusing wu sanxing of murdering him. honestly it’s possible xiaoge is telling the truth if you consider that wu sanxing might have planted a fake if he knew ahead of time what the silkbook contained, what the seven star palace was, and basically faked his own way through the entire thing

it wouldn’t necessarily surprise me because he does sound very pretends to be shocked in the delivery of many of his remarks (but again, how much of that can you attribute to this being book 1), and while he did bring wu xie along because he was trying to ease him into the game with the wangs, it’s possible he was prudent enough that he would have made wu xie’s first tomb experience take place in a somewhat controlled environment. which doesn’t mean he’d necessarily been there before, just that as entrenched in the wang shit as he is, i wouldn’t be surprised if he’d known even vaguely what the seven star palace represented and what could be found in there. he did know about the snake cypress and about the stone used to subdue it, and while that doesn’t necessarily mean anything seeing as wu sanxing is a highly experienced tomb robber, it’s worth noting that the only times we’ve ever seen those trees is in the seven star palace and in the snake mine in gutongjing. in other words, always somewhere connected to longevity and The Secret and all the parties involved in that power struggle

but then again, we don’t really know how much wu sanxing knew about the wangs and the zhangs etc, so it’s all very up to interpretation. if he did in fact plant the fake silkbook though, it might have served the purpose of making sure there was something to string wu xie along to push him towards xisha and the conspiracy, but the copper fish ended up serving that purpose in the end. nothing really elaborates on this silkbook again, so we don’t know why xiaoge would speculate that wu sanxing was the perpetrator, unless it was because he’d just recovered his memories of xisha (but even then xiaoge doesn’t accuse people so firmly based on impression alone) or he literally saw wu sanxing do it

regardless of who did it, the bottom line is that it’s safe to say the silkbook was probably fake and was placed there intentionally, both because as wu sanxing points out, it is suspicious that wu xie would conveniently only be able to understand what happened to be key portions of the silkbook relating parts of king shang of lu’s life, and because it mentions the purple and gold box in it, which when opened, wu xie discovers contains the first snake-eyebrowed copper fish

to me this actually pushes suspicion more heavily onto two parties in particular: wu sanxing and the wang family. because to be able to forge a silkbook that would specifically contain passages tailored to wu xie’s knowledge of old chinese and not run the risk of him either knowing more or less than speculated, you would have to have extensive knowledge on wu xie as a person on a personal level. and to be fair, this idea hinges a lot on the silkbook being put into that coffin for wu xie specifically ti find, so i’m working on assumptions again, but if this were the case, then only wu sanxing and the wangs qualify to fill that role, and in some ways the wangs even more so because this kind of covert manipulation is very much the way they do things. xiaoge would not have known wu xie to that extent in book 1, if at all, and while wang zanghai himself is a tempting possibility, he was obviously in the seven star palace long before any of this took place, so it can’t be him. in fact, the only thing that ties wang zanghai to any of this at all is the purple and gold box containing the copper fish, since whether or not the box had originally been there and he simply emptied it of its contents or brought it in from outside, he’s the one who placed the copper fish in it

as to why if it was wu sanxing who planted the fake silkbook he would shift the blame onto xiaoge, my theory on that would be that xiaoge was another convenient means of stringing wu xie along into the xisha expedition mystery by virtue of him being zhang qiling and therefore both highly mysterious and suspicious, as well as personally involved. part of me wonders if part of the reason wu sanxing went to chen pi ah si to hire xiaoge specifically because he was added insurance that he would have the means to trigger wu xie’s curiosity, and provide a first clue to lead him into the It conspiracy. wu sanxing did use the picture of the expedition team to explicitly tie xiaoge into it along with the copper fish story, so there’s that to consider

the third account

which finally brings me to the final version of the king shang of lu story, which is the one given to li cu during the wang family powerpoint lesson. this particular version also overlaps with the story of king mu of zhou and the queen mother of the west, but i’ll get to in another part of this meta. so this version of the story is mostly ironically both the version that most blatantly contradicts the first two, while also being the version most accurate to the tiny introduction we get to king shang of lu at the entrance of the seven star palace that says he was “born with a ghost seal and could borrow ghost soldiers from the underworld”. the only real issue with that this third version has it’s told by the wang family to li cu, so just by virtue of it coming from obvious wang propaganda, it’s immediately suspicious by nature

going back to speculations about who planted the fake silkbook version of king shang of lu’s story in the seven star palace, it then also raises the question of, if the wangs were the ones who did it, what motive they would have had not only to do so, but to tell the story in that particular way, only to then tell a completely different one to someone they consider a candidate to join them. in my opinion, the only thing that makes this third version hold water is that given how it’s explained to li cu, and how wang xiaoyuan (the girl who passes by the window during the lesson) has the same version of it, the wang family believes this version is true, and by virtue of that, it gains a little more credibility, bc suspicious as they are and twisted by their own biases their version of history may be, the wang family is nonetheless well-informed for the most part. not to mention because the narrative has the wang family consistently mirror the zhang family and the way they function so perfectly it’s almost eerie, it stands to reason that the wang family also dabble in historical revisionism when they can, so putting out a fake version of history onto a fabricated silkbook seems up their alley

i’ll get into king mu of zhou separately because that’s a whole other can of worms, but this final version of king shang of lu’s story begins between the “emperor” of the state of lu and his advisor, the owner of a fox mask “with ancient patterns that often appeared on bronze ware” (Sand Sea Part III, Ch. 132, Lesson). the “emperor” asks his advisor “around 1000 BC” (fyi the original says 一千年上下 which amounts to “around 1000 years” but it’s more of an approximation and can technically encompass the warring states period too) as a hypothetical whether or not it’s possible “to prevent people from dying”, to which the advisor answers that he himself doesn’t know how, but he does know where to find something that can “beneath the loess inside the mountains”. he then goes on to tell the tale of king mu of zhou to the “emperor”, and of how he was given an elixir of immortality by the queen mother of the west that he likely hid inside of his tomb centuries ago

it very quickly becomes apparent to the reader that this story is an obvious ploy by the owner of the fox mask, who in sensing that the “emperor”, while tempted, is reluctant to cast all appearance of morality aside to deploy his troops to rob king mu of zhou’s grave, calls a “strange man” to the court who’s “believed to be a descendent of the zhou emperor” (that is to say king mu of zhou) “who was able to communicate with the underworld”. the ruler of the state of lu thus gives this “strange man” a jade seal and seals him in an iron coffin deep in a well for 49 days, saying that if he can come back up from it with the ghost seal in hand after having successfully spoken to king mu of zhou, then it would be proof of king mu granting him permission to rob his tomb and take the immortality elixir from it. and so this “strange man” does, in fact, come back, not only with the ghost seal in hand, but with an imperial edict written by king mu of zhou himself that granted him the title of king shang (殇 shang meaning to die young or at war) as well as all the contents of his tomb

the ruler of the state of lu then uses this to make several leaps in logic to justify being in the right if he deploys his troops to rob king mu of zhou’s tomb, because if this “strange man” can communicate with the underworld and was given a title relating to dead people, then surely that means that this strange “king shang” is likely dead himself, and that king mu of zhou chose him as his heir after he’d died. it’s a very convenient out for the ruler of the state of lu to say that he’s only helping an esteemed deceased elder to recover his birthright if he makes him a general and lends him troops to go find king mu of zhou’s tomb (Sand Sea Part III, Ch. 133, King Mu of Zhou)

it’s also quickly obvious to the reader that the owner of the fox mask and this newly minted king shang of lu are in fact working together, given it was the former who referred the latter to the state of lu’s court in the first place, which is something i’ll come back to in another part of this meta. from here, under the ruler of the state of lu’s orders, king shang and the owner of the fox mask, together with more grave robbers who also wore fox masks (as according to the wang family, foxes would live in graveyards and grave robber’s tunnels at the time, and so grave robbers associated their imagery with the profession), began their search for king mu of zhou’s tomb and the immortality elixir it supposedly contained. while this version of the story of king shang of lu more or less ends here, you could assume the rest of it might follow along the same lines of the first two versions, and maybe it does. you’d then assume that the person king shang and the owner of the fox mask (who’s by then inferred to be iron mask from the previous two versions) find in the western zhou tomb is king mu of zhou, who they then divest of the jade burial armor to take for themselves

however, one very important detail in this version compromises this assumption: king mu of zhou isn’t actually dead, and he thus gave king shang the edict personally (Sand Sea Part III, Ch. 134, Deception). what this means is that the ruler of the state of lu was duped presumably not by two, but three people, all of whom were working together to find the jade burial armor for who appears to be king mu of zhou. in other words, where the other two versions of the story have two key players, this final version suddenly introduces a third one, and that changes things. how much it does is what i’ll be getting into in the next part on king mu of zhou more specifically

(tbc in part II and part III of this madness)

[sunriseverse]

kiss meme!!!!!! 31!!!!! after a small rejection!!!

fluff. that is all <3

-

Wu Xie wakes to the feeling of the world beneath him moving. Or, rather, Pangzi shifting, and trying to creep his way out from under the sleeping bag without disturbing him. Unfortunately, for as agile as Pangzi is, he still wraps himself around Wu Xie like a particularly clever octopus on cold nights when they zip their sleeping bags together, and after a night of tossing and turning, they're thoroughly entwined with each other. He lets out a whine of protest. "Do you have to go?" he mumbles, eyes cracked open the smallest sliver they can, and still smarting from the light of the morning sun, filtered even as it is through the fabric of their tent.

Pangzi, bastard that he is, has the gall to laugh at him. "Aiya, Tianzhen, you're getting clingy," he teases, as if he's not the one throwing his arms and legs over Wu Xie any time they're in sleeping proximity. Clingy. Pangzi waggles his brows. "Unless you want me to stay for other reasons?"

"Si Pangzi," Wu Xie says, kicking him, and turns over so he can't see Pangzi's face—not the least because he is, in fact, a little tempted to try and seduce Pangzi to get him to bring back the delicious warmth of his body. What can he say, he's a simple man, and it's a cold morning. Pangzi laughs at him again, and then, to Wu Xie's surprise, Pangzi's shadow looms over him as he bends over and presses his face into Wu Xie's neck for a kiss that's a bit scratchy with unshaven stubble. Wu Xie makes a token protest, but Pangzi just laughs some more, because Pangzi is, at heart, a bastard.

Nuzzling kisses turn into proper ones, Pangzi half kneeling, Wu Xie twisted so he's halfway upright, meeting somewhere in the middle. "Xiaoge's going to think one of us is trying to kill the other," Wu Xie mumbles as he accidentally kicks one of the walls of the tent and the entire structure shivers above them.

"Well, you know what the French say," Pangzi says, pragmatic, and then draws back. "Okay, now I really have to go, unless you want me to piss on you halfway through—"

"Shut up," Wu Xie says, and shoves at him for emphasis. "Send Xiaoge in while you're out there, his manners in bed are better than yours."

"You wound me," Pangzi says, but he's grinning as he rises to his feet and tugs at the flap of the tent.

[scaredysap]

"Oh my god, is this really a situation worthy of the moping-hoodie?"

"Yes! Yes, it is," Wu Xie plopped down at the kitchen table and dramatically crossed his arms. "I'm tired of people telling me I should date Xiaoge, it gets awkward every time!"

"I don't know, Tianzhen, I think they might have a point." Wu Xie glared at Pangzi's back but the man kept on peacefully chopping vegetables. "You've got that whole bond thing going on, and you spend a lot of time staring at his abs whenever his shirt is off."

"Everyone stares at his abs, they're objectively perfect."

"Fair enough," Pangzi conceded with a shrug. "What about your important bond though? That sounds pretty intense every time you bring it up."

Wu Xie sank into his chair and pulled up his hood. Then he lowered it again, realizing that the instinctual gesture was very much like the one Xiaoge did when he was uncomfortable. Pangzi hadn't seen it but he sure would have commented on it if he had, Wu Xie was sure about that.

"It is intense. But it's not dating, it's just… different," he said, twirling one of the strings of his hoodie around a finger. "I don't really want to dress fancy and go to dinner with him, I don't want to send him a good morning text every day, I don't want to kiss him. Sure, getting him to hug more would be nice but-"

"But that's why you've got me! I’m always ready to hug my poor, misunderstood Tianzhen," Pangzi intervened. He left his spot at the counter for a moment to give Wu Xie a one-armed hug, putting a brief smile back on his face.

"Yeah, exactly. The thing is… we're fine as we are. We’re there for each other when it counts. Nothing else is needed, we've figured out where we stand."

"Alright then, that's good," Pangzi said, picking the next vegetable from the basket he'd brought from the market. "I was just making sure."

It was quiet for a few moments, the rhythmic tac tac tac of the knife against the cutting board a soothing sound that filled the evening.

"But seriously, you don't wanna kiss him even a little bit?"

"PANGZI!"

"I'm just saying-!"

Wu Xie huffed, throwing his hands up in the air and almost sliding off the chair in disappointment.

"You're unbelievable. If you keep bringing this up, I’m going to start believing you're the one who wants to kiss Xiaoge!"

The chopping stopped. The kitchen became dead quiet. Wu Xie rewinded his words in his mind and then slowly but surely turned to stare at Pangzi's back.

"Pangzi," he said quietly, watching the big man's shoulders go tense. "Do you want to kiss Xiaoge?"

The silence was damning.

"HAH!" Wu Xie's chortling filled the kitchen as Pangzi turned towards him, his face as red as the chili peppers that were going into their food.

"Shut up, Tianzhen! What do you even know about these things?"

"Not a lot, but you sure aren’t an expert either! Thinking that I wanted to date Xiaoge when all this time you…!"

Wu Xie started laughing again, clutching his belly as it ached with cramps.

"Tianzhen!" Pangzi hissed, half crawling all over Wu Xie to try and put a hand over his mouth. "You quit yapping right now, Xiaoge could hear you!"

"You wanna kiss him soooo bad! Ow!" Wu Xie yelped, clutching his shoulder. "You idiot, you poked me with the knife!"

"Serves you ri- OUCH! Tianzhen, did you just bite me?"

"So what if I did, huh?"

"You rabid beast, I'll show you!"

As bickering and sounds of a brawl filled the kitchen, quiet footsteps went unheard in the hallway just outside. Xiaoge put his boots back on with expert ease and soon he was out into the night, headed towards the trio's favourite take-away restaurant. From the sounds of it, dinner wouldn't be ready any time soon.

He walked with a single objective in mind but still, he couldn't help but raise a hand to his own lips and wonder what it would feel like to be kissed.

[fixaidea]

Time Masters AU - is that anything?

Well, now it's gonna be.

So. Retirement era Iron Triangle gets roped into an adventure. The place they are visiting is either cursed or otherwise heavily screwed up - physics just refuse to properly physics there. At one point one of them drops his mike and it just... disappears. Just gets swallowed up by nothing. They try working out where it went and what happened to it by talking into another one connected to it, to see if they can hear their own voice coming from it somewhere.

They never do find the lost mike. Instead, in the one still with them, they hear a small child's voice.

'Who are you?'

Wu Xie tries to talk to the kid but it becomes very obvious very quickly that a) he's not in the tomb with them and b) has no idea what a mike or even a phone is. At this point Pangzi has enough of Wu Xie's fumbling, snatches the mike from him and tells the kid the same thing Belle told Piel, that he, Mike, is just a weird little creature who can't see, can't touch anything or even get up and walk away on his own, so he'd be real grateful if the kid could help him out here. Oh yes, and to compensate for all his shortcomings, at least he has a set of different voices.

Not expecting the kid to react in any way, they head home, ready to forget about the lost mike and dedicate their energy to further researching the strange tomb... except the child keeps talking to them. Or to the mike, more precisely, because as per Pangzi's explanation he now threats it as an individual creature.

Sometimes it's just little things about his day... and sometimes it's hair-raisingly horrible stuff, relayed in an indifferent tone, like it's normal. It becomes evident that he's going through some really horrible abuse, and that Mike is basically the only friend he'd ever had and he has to go to great lengths to hide it or else it'd be taken away.

...Well, knowing all that, the Triangle can't just... not do anything, can they? They accidentally made this kid get attached but what can they even attempt to do to help him?

In the end, it's unclear which one of them suggested that the boy should run away - they were all implying it, even if unintentionally - but one day they wake up to the little kid proudly declaring that he did the thing, he ran away from home.

After surviving a collective heart-attack our Triangle decided that now that they've made this bed, intentionally or not, they will take responsibility and lie in it, and navigate this poor little guy to safety no matter what.

...And of course the big twist of the original story, that one of the adults is actually the kid they are trying to keep safe still applies: they've been talking to baby Xiaoge all along.

[daydreamorama]

For the New Year's Ask: 5, 8 and 13 please 💕

Thanks for the ask! the full list can be found here

5. Which WIP is first on your list to complete this year? Will you post a snippet?

I am currently busily working on my lunar new year fic exchange treat, but that's no fun cause I can't talk about it. So after that I hope to buckle down and get more of the wip titled 'hei Xiazi bdsm verse' (which is funny cause Liu Sang is the main character) I started it over a year ago, it's a BDSM, Firefighter AU with no set pairing/group, just a mess of relationship lines.

Here's a bit of a snippet from what will be probably part of the first chapter

Liu Sang had not been anticipating Xiaoge showing up at the dorms with his motorcycle, and he really had to kick himself.  What had he expected? Xiaoge to drive Pangzi’s van? Liu Sang took a second to close his eyes and calm his nerves that had suddenly flared, he had been doing good at ignoring what was going to happen, then gingerly got on the back of the motorcycle.  He placed his arms gingerly on Xiaoge’s waist, not wanting to be creepy, or encroach on Xiaoge’s personal space, but Xiaoge grabbed his hand and pulled and said, “Tighter.”  So Liu Sang hugged him, and tried his best not to think about it as Xiaoge revved his engine and drove, slowly, off.  Xiaoge only ever touched people when it was necessary, and Liu Sang had definitely never been this close to him.  This felt way too intimate.

8 Is there a story idea in your mental vault that you’ve never been brave enough to try writing? Is this the year? Can you tell us about it?

Well I think after the dubcon Tentacle Porn I cowrote, bravery doesn't enter into it anymore :). (That said I do have a immoral slave owner Wu Xie (aka Liu Sang whump) piece... I have about 8k of it written aha).

13. Aside from fanfic, are there any other fan works you’d like to try creating? Fanart, or fanvids, gifsets, or podfic?

Not really! I want to explore different styles of fanfic and different writings, but creating in other ways doesn't currently appeal to me. (though knitting something fannish does sound fun!)

[hils79]

Hils Watches Tibetan Sea Flower - Ep 7

Wu Xie: this meeting could have been an email

Wu Xie saying 'Just watch me' is like Baldrick saying 'I have a cunning plan'

He's just vocalising everything I wish I could say during a work meeting

Pangzi: it's been at least 2 minutes since I last touched Wu Xie. Must correct this immediately

Does 'unique constitution' mean 'somehow he's still alive despite all the odds'

"I've been tricked so many times I'm a pro at it now" is very much something Wu Xie would say. This might be the most in character adaptation yet

Pangzi's face says this isn't the first time he's heard Wu Xie say 'but I can't bear to leave these murals/these scrolls/this cool piece of architecture behind'

Pangzi knows exactly the right thing to say to calm Wu Xie down

CANONICAL BACKSTORY REFERENCE I DON'T KNOW HOW TO COPE WITH THIS 😭

Fashion icon Wang Pangzi strikes agian. God, look at him

LOOK AT HIM

I don't think you understand how much I love these idiot losers

I'm imagining when Xiaoge gets back Zhang Haike will be like 'with the greatest respect let me tell you what your cringe husbands did while you were gone' Xiaoge: 😐 (which means he is listening with the utmost fondness for his two cringe husbands)

These are two grown-ass men

Pangzi offering the one thing that might tempt Wu Xie into not walking into an obvious trap

Stop. No. I hate it when Pangzi is sad. Is this how it starts? Is this how we end up where we do in Sha Hai where they're working together but separately because Pangzi can't bear to see Wu Xie destroy himself

I hate it when they fight 😭

Of course he came back

FFS I'm crying again. I just love how much the three of them love each other

I want to make this my new desktop wallpaper

I love that even Zhang Haixing is kind of amused by their shenanigans

Ah, we're back to the baby Zhangs now

I'm surprised he's not doing more to try and stop the other baby Zhangs from killing Xiaoge, considering his sister is the one who started the fight

Well, is it really DMBJ without some more horrifying traumatic backstory for Xiaoge

Zhang Haixing knows what's going on with her brother

[programmedradly]

Writing Patterns

Thank you for the tag, @forerussake! <3

Rules: List the first line of your last 10 (posted) fics and see if there's a pattern!

The Lantern welcomes him. - when the lights go up and the music stops, Guardian, Weilan

"Where is he?" - catch me if you can, Guardian, Weilan

It occurs to Chang Dong about a minute after starting the engine and turning the car around that maybe it would have been a better idea to take Liuxi's Jeep home and come back later to fetch his own. - you whose heart would sing of anarchy, Parallel World, Ye Liuxi x Chang Dong

Shen Wei is on his way home when the first few signs of rain turn into heavy drops, falling to the ground in quicker and quicker succession, until the sky opens and the sidewalk becomes alive with people trying to hurry somewhere dry. - all in the knowing of you, Guardian, Weilan

When they're in bed together, she likes to put her cheek on Chang Dong's chest and listen to his heartbeat. - putting songs into the hearts of the doomed, Parallel World, Ye Liuxi x Chang Dong

A huge dining table in the middle of the precinct is an idea way more police departments should adopt, Ray thinks. - One More Day, Guardian/Due South crossover, Gen

He finds Bai Haotian outside, keeping dry under the roof and anxiously peering out into the darkness. - not only the sugar, but the days, Lost Tomb Reboot, Huo Daofu x Bai Haotian

"My grandma said it was a family curse," Changcheng says, a crooked smile pulling at his lips. - (like i was looking for a place to rest), Guardian, Chuguo

There's a small notebook at the very back of the drawer in the nightstand in Xiaoge's room in Wushanju. - I will set sails and follow the breeze, Lost Tomb Reboot, Iron Triangle

He goes to bed as soon as they get home, because he's tired, he's always so tired, and being trapped inside the Huo residence didn't help. - i think of loss and i can only think of you, Ultimate Note, Pingxie

Hmm. Something I like to do is not using names in the first line. Sometimes I add them after the fact, if I think just using pronouns might be confusing for readers. But when I start writing, it's usually after thinking about the story for so long, it's perfectly clear to me who "he" is, so why should I specify Zhao Yunlan?

Sometimes I pick a canon hook to start a story, like the scene in Lost Tomb Reboot where they wait for Wu Xie in the rain, and then take it from there.

Otherwise I guess I ilke to start pretty much in medias res. I'm not really seeing much of a pattern. 😅

[bowsie22]

Whumptober 2023 #1

Whumptober 1 - "How many fingers am I holding up?"

His head hurt, why did his head hurt? Wu Xie groaned, not wanting to open his eyes. After so many head injuries he already knew what would happen. He'd open his eyes, light would hit them and then Wu Xie would wince and move, making his head hurt even worse.

It really was a sad state of affairs that he was this familiar with head injuries, wasn't it? Taking a deep breath, Wu Xie cracked an eye open, hoping to find some answers. He remembered standing at the entrance to the main room in the tomb while Xiazi argued with Pangzi over how much dynamite was needed to blast through the door. Everything was a bit of a blur after that. Xiaoge shouting for him, Xiao Hua swearing, loud noises. Then a lot of pain.

Wu Xie swore, realising what had happened. He’d been caught up in the explosion. And separated from his friends, which was just typical of his luck. Taking a deep breath, he prodded at the sore spot on his head, hissing at the sharp pain that burst through him. That was a lot of blood, wasn't it? Xiaoge was going to be furious with him, he promised the other no more head wounds, at least not for a month. And that was only three weeks ago.

Oh, his eyes were going weird. Had there always been that many torches on the walls? Or so many figures on that mural? Were they dancing? Wait, Wu Xie squinted, no. That was Xiaoge and Xiao Hua moving through the rubble. Wu Xie starts humming, trying to get their attention. He cycles through a few different melodies, settling on Baby Shark. Annoying but effective if the hurried scrambling he heard meant anything.

Xiaoge fell to his knees beside Wu Xie, fingers probing his head wound, ignoring the wounded look sent his way. “Xiao Hua, let the others know he has a head wound and it’s bleeding a lot! Wu Xie, look at me sweetheart. How many fingers am I holding up?” Oh, he wasn’t falling for this again, Xiaoge has tricked him too many times with this. “You’re not getting me this time Xiaoge, the thumb is not a finger.” He hears Xiao Hua snort in the background. “God, I forgot how annoying concussed Wu Xie is.”

Xiaoge hummed, more concerned with getting Wu Xie to his feet. Turns out more than his head hurt. The older shushed him as he whined, “I know. You got a bit more buried than the rest of us, there’s a lot of cuts and bruises. We’ll get you out and to a hospital and you’ll feel better in no time, ok?” Wu Xie nodded, always trusting Xiaoge. He could relax now; Xiaoge and his friends would look after him, like they always did. Wu Xie giggled to himself, he had good friends, the best, he was so lucky. He should tell them that! “You guys are the best and I am so lucky you came into my life. Otherwise, I’d be stuck with my uncles, and they suck.”

He rambles as he’s lead out of the tomb and deposited into the car, continuing through the medical examination in the hospital, everything that came into his mind being said. Wu Xie only stops talking when he’s settled into a hospital bed and told he can sleep for a while. Xiaoge sits at his bedside, holding his hand while Pangzi and Xiazi argue over what to watch on the TV in the private room. Xiao Hua, ordering food to the room, takes the remote and switches to the news. Laughing, Wu Xie relaxes into the bed as the familiar routine carries on. He really was lucky.

A/N First entry for Whumptober 2023. The plan is to do all 31, but we’ll see how that goes

[inimitablereel]

Okay I love the iron triangle but I would NOT feel safe locked in a room with them. You trap Wu Xie in a room and he will a) get all of my secrets and b) get bored of me because I don't have interesting secrets and somehow unleash a curse or otherwise cause chaos. Pangzi would obviously enable Wu Xie's chaos and/or try to explode his way out of this room (which I guess I trust him to do without hurting us so that's not a worst case scenario but I hope then they're prepared for me to just sit there coughing violently for 5 minutes). (Xiaoge looks like he's taking a nap but would stop there from being any actually life threatening danger. Either that or he's doing the thing where he stands 2 feet away and just smiles fondly at his boyfriends causing chaos, which, like, adorable but not really helpful for my continued safety.)

yr locked in a room alone with three adult men but you feel perfectly safe. who are they

[eigwayne]

Watched some more Immortal Samsara and the worldbuilding and shit picks up again after episode 15! Note the touch of annoyance there. It should not take 15 episodes to really get rolling. I almost dropped this a couple times because it was so focused on the love story for a good ten eps that it was absolutely tedious. The fat really needed to be trimmed there. Maybe cut the mooning about to thirty second increments instead of five minutes? We’ll still get the point if you don’t play the theme songs all the way through while Yang Zi and Cheng Yi just stand there, I promise. Trust Cheng Yi, he’s doing his best here.

(In other news, I may be a Xiao Yuliang Best Xiaoge advocate, but Cheng Yi was good and he’s an better actor now than he was for TLT2, more subtle. I would have loved to see him try some of the other DMBJ storylines.)