#and xavier said he’s taken me out to dinner

[leejihoonownsmyheart]

OK THAT'S REAL cuz like.. can you imagine acting like a brat and just scaring them off ?? like what if that guy was gonna be my future mr....

oh my bad 😞😞 i'd love to live with you but im actually jerry (from tom and jerry) and living in the walls, and it's lowkey really spacious in here so i can't move.....i hope you understand

3 LITERS?? ARE YOU TRYING TO BANKRUPT ME 🤨🤨🤨

yeah, i think the guy that likes you? is he the guy that pouted at you when you said you were going to leave for a vacation or something

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why did i do that.

whatever ANYWAYS i also want to start writing fanfics. my issue? i am wildly, like, not creative and posting is scary 😞 so i think ill just keep sending you ideas because you're actually the best <3

HOW HAS UR WEEK BEEN GOING THO?? I HOPE YOU (and your week) HAVE BEEN WELL

-a no-valentine having shakey anon

NO LITERALLY i feel like there are not a whole ton of brat tamers walking around so we have to tred CAREFUL

No I completely get it actually… Tom is a great roommate and those are very spacious walls. I’m glad you have such a nice home!!

HELLO?! YOU OFFERED

OH AND THAT SITUATION IS GOING FINE…. I COMPLETELY IGNORED THE CONFESSION HE SENT TO ME RIGHT BEFORE HE LEFT FOR VACATION AND THEN HE CAME BACK AND I KINDA IGNORED HIM AND NOW I KINDA IGNORE HIM BUT WE PLAY DND TOGETHER NOW CAUSE ONE OF MY FRIENDS TREATS MY LOVE LIFE LIKE AN OTOME GAME SHE CHECKS ON EVERY NOW AND THEN (when she found out he liked me even though I made it clearly i didn’t like him she put him in a gc with someone else we work with who ISNT EVEN THAT CLOSE TO ME to coach him on what to say to me and then gaslighted me into thinking she hadn’t been trying to push me closer to him 🤠) but it's fine I've been pretty clear though

PLEASEPLEASEPKEASE START WRITING FICS You come up with such good ideas!! And the best part about fanfiction is that if you write it IT ALWAYS GOES EXACTLY HOW YOU WANT IT TO

You don’t even have to post :D just send it to meeeeee and I’ll read and love and enjoy it <3 just something to think about…. You’ll never know how good you are until you give it a shot y’know :)

ITS BEEN GOOD IVE BEEN SLEEPING IN LONGER THAN I WANT BUT NOT MISSING CLASS SO IT’S OKAY REALLY cried a bit today because of loneliness again though… idk why it was so random

HOW HAS YOUR WEEK BEEN TELLTELLTELL

[gentaro-kinniecom]

Let’s talk about it

Characters: Xavier/fem!reader

C/w: 1.5k! First person pov (read at your own risk..) soft sex, couch sex, cowgirl position, sex therapy(?), rough sex (ish?) dick piercing..

A/n: A mishap occurred, I got an anonymous request to write about Zayne coming home from work and having sex with the reader as a way to de-stress..and I read that as Xavier so I apologize but that fanfic is now in the making so don’t worry anon your fic is in process ;)

Hearing the house keys jingling against the front door, I was quick to get up on my feet to receive my loving boyfriend with a hug and warm smile that he always loved. However, upon opening the door, Xavier’s face looked..exhausted. He tried his best to smile and greet me like he’d normally would but I knew something was up.

“Good evening..should I go run the bathtub while you settle in from work?” I asked softly while holding his free hand as the other rubbed his eye, a sign of sleepiness while Xavier yawned.

“That would be..wonderful my dear, I hope it’s not much of a trouble for you” He said, almost apologetically as I kissed him, that was enough to reassure him that I was fine with it. After the bath was prepared, I called Xavier into the bathroom, placing some final touches like his favorite fragrance to the water and a bathbomb to accompany it, hints of lavender and mint infused the room while he entered, sighing, almost at peace.

“I hope this helps you relax a bit, we should talk about your day once you’ve refreshed yourself” Xavier nodded, not having the strength to answer as he kissed my forehead. I decided to then heat up some leftovers from yesterday’s dinner that ended up with kisses and cuddling at a late hour, though nothing happened unfortunately. The stress of being able to help many people was getting to Xavier, little by little until it all built up. Without having anything to do while waiting for the food to reheat, I walked by the bathroom, listening to the moans and grunts from inside, trying to peek from the small door crack. He looked so blissful after his orgasm that I nearly forgot the food on the stove. Just as I ran towards the kitchen, Xavier finished showering, a more relaxed face upon his features as he held his towel, looking my way

“Is everything okay? Did you burn the food again..?” He asked, sighing while going towards the laundry room and the living room soon after.

“No…? Okay, almost but it’s fine really!” I replied, sighing as he settled in the small love couch we’ve spent many nights on, the memories coming back to me as I prepared our plates for dinner. It was in that same furniture that I had my first orgasm, he was so gentle and caring; like he’s always been of course. Snapping out of my thoughts, I handed Xavier his plate while we watched an episode of our favorite series.

We finished dinner quicker than expected and all of our attention was taken away by the tv; or at least Xavier’s. I found myself staring at the choice of pants he wore, gray sweatpants that were usually not worn by him and shoved into the confines of our shared closet unless a special event came up. Without realizing, he chuckled softly, lowering the volume of the television as Xavier grabbed my hand.

“You’re staring, is something on my face? Or rather, my pants?” Oh. I knew he wasn’t that dumb or oblivious to anything I did, Xavier was always so attentive to any small details, whether it was my appearance or a change in my mood; It was so difficult hiding anything from him.

“Have you ever thought of talking about your problems or day while having sex?” I inquired, his face softened, has he dreamt about this before? Before I could even return back to my normal thoughts, Xavier already pressed my body against the sofa. His mouth nipped at my neck, traveling down towards my collarbone while responding.

“All the time, but, I never knew if you were into that, you know the last thing I would do is make you uncomfortable, right?” His soft lips met mine in a quick but gentle gesture. My arms wrapped themselves around Xavier’s neck, caressing his hair while making out with him. The friction between our clothes was enough to leave me whining against his mouth.

“I..know but, would you like to try it, today?” I paused, coincidentally at the same time he stopped feeling me up to look into my eyes with a smile, something telling me it was the beginning of something great for us.

“It’s all up to you, it’s not necessary to have sex just to talk about stuff, however..it would help out in other things..” Xavier’s hands took control of my thighs, wrapping them around his clothed waist as he began to mimic what it would feel like if we were fucking at that moment, in other words, teasing me. With his consent, I grabbed the hem of his sweatpants, (after briefly hustling to get him under me) admiring the way his cock sprung out while tossing the pants and underwear aside.

“I’ve missed this..truly.” He chuckled at my remark as I kneeled, grabbing his thighs while deepthroating him in one go, nearly gagging on his cock. Hearing my boyfriend moan was absolutely rewarding, especially since the piercing he had was indeed sensitive to each small touch given to it; the small prince albert piercing was enough to make my mouth drool. Bobbing my head up and down, his hand grabbed a hold of my hair, pressing my head onto his dick while grunting.

“T-that’s it..! Ah..please..! I’m gonna-!” I parted away from his cock, giving it a few more strokes. His cum shooting across my face in long white streaks; Xavier’s face was a bit red, mostly due to his overstimulation and embarrassment, making me chuckle as he leaned down to kiss me.

“This is..far from over, you know that right?” He nodded, allowing me to sit on his lap all pretty while he helped me get rid of his cum on my face. Moments later, I sunk onto his dick, pressing my hands against his shoulders for support while his hands grabbed my waist, letting him do all the work of thrusting into me.

“Work was so..ngh..tedious today. I had to deal with so many..people- ah fuck..! All so that I could come back to see you” Xavier explained how some wanderers attacked one of the bases that had vital information in. His thrusts became quicker and loose as he kept venting of his day. A sharp thrust made me moan as the highlight of his day was told.

“But..nothing ever beats coming here and wishing to fuck you like this every..single..day. Oh, c-can I?” He asked so softly, his voice nearly a whisper as I nodded, hips rutting to meet mine feverishly while cumming deep inside. Our lips met again, not wanting to let go as Xavier hugged me tightly, wanting to spend some warmth together.

“Feeling better now? If not, you know there’s always round two for more; both ranting and fucking” I spoke, breaking the silence of the room while Xavier’s eyes grew with lust. He smiled while pushing me onto the couch one last time, still connected while lazily thrusting forwards against my overstimulated and stuffed pussy as I moaned.

“Oh so you want me to keep going?” I nodded, my hair splayed against my back, moving sometimes; especially if Xavier thrusted harshly while telling another one of his encounters of the day. After another couple of rounds, he nearly collapsed into my embrace as I chuckled, kissing him to wake Xavier up while he smiled.

“Wait here, I’ll be back” Whispering, Xavier left momentarily after kissing me softly, pulling out from my cunt as I whined. It seemed he was looking for a towel or something to take care of me afterwards. However, I heard the shower run as he came by to carry me towards it.

“You didn’t have to..a towel would’ve been fine” I spoke, sighing in relief as my body made contact with the warm water, my eyes drifting over to Xavier’s body that joined mine in the tub. He clasped my hand softly, kissing the top like a gentleman.

“Of course I had to, I shouldn’t hesitate to take care of you at all times.” His gaze softened upon meeting my own. Lips crashing into one another as he chuckled, pressing my hand against his soft abs while speaking.

“Seeing you like this makes me crave another round..” I smiled, getting out of the tub and wrapping a towel around my body while Xavier did the same but around his hips.

“Weren’t you tired a few moments ago?” His laugh made me laugh alongside him. We got dressed in our favorite couple’s pajamas, my body pressed against Xavier’s as he wrapped his arms around me. A small yawn fell from his lips, murmuring something that made me smile

“I am now..goodnight my dearest” Xavier’s head rested upon my chest, serving as a pillow while a hand grabbed one of then, as long as he was comfortable, nothing could ever disturb me.

[whatdoeseverybodywant]

LOVE - CHAPTER 7

After getting back together, Janelle finds out thats she’s pregnant. Follow along with Josh and Janelle as they deal with the highs and lows of her pregnancy.

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. DO NOT REPOST MY FICS

Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated ❤ 

Janelle is played by Justine Skye

Sequel to All I Need Is You: Read Here

Catch up on all other parts here

Janelle stood in the baby’s room hanging up all of the clothes they just had got him. All of the court stuff with Ximena had taken up so much of their time, they didn’t get a chance to have a baby shower. She was due next week and she just wanted to stay home and get the nursery ready for her son. 

She looked over at Josh as he came in the room and plopped down on the recliner with a huff. 

“You okay?” She asked and he nodded. 

“Yeah, just tired. Got the car seat in the car so we good on that.” She giggled at the lazy thumbs up he gave her. 

“Have you talked to Xavi yet?” 

“Yeah, he doesn’t want to see her. And I don't blame him.” 

“Josh-” 

“I’m not gonna force him Janelle. He might only be four but he’s very emotionally intelligent.” Janelle threw her head back with a laugh. 

“So you just gon take my words and throw them back at me.” Janelle sighed and placed the last onesie on the hanger before turning to Josh. “He is very emotionally intelligent but, you and I both know Ximena is not gonna give up unless she spends time with Xavi. And with this baby coming I don’t want or need anymore added stress.”  She sighed when he didn’t say anything. 

“Josh -” 

“We can’t keep calling him ‘the baby’. We need a name.”  Janelle sighed and crossed her arms over her chest, staring at him. “Nelle. Please.” When she didn’t stop staring he groaned. “I’m not forcing him Janelle. She scared the shit outta him by taking him and he doesn’t want to see her.” 

“Okay. I’m sorry.” She said walking over and sitting on his lap. “I just want things to go back to the way they were. You know, before she came back into the picture.” Josh sighed and nodded, placing his hand on her bump, smiling when his son started kicking where his hand was. 

“I want things to go back to normal too, but let's just not worry about her right now. Okay? We aint doing nothing wrong by not letting her see him.” She nodded and he placed a kiss on her lips. “Yeet-” 

“No. Do not” Josh let out a loud laugh at the scowl on her face. “ I hate that shit.” 

“Well get used to it. Cause imma do everything that I can to make that be his first word.” 

“Please,” She laughed. “I already gotta listen to you, Xavi, Jon and sometimes Trin say that stupid ass word. Ion want my baby saying that.” 

“Too late, ain't that right baby boy?” He said to her stomach. “You love when daddy says yeet!” Janelle rolled her eyes as the baby started to kick harder. 

Two days later Janelle was in the middle of making dinner when there was a knock at the door, followed by the doorbell ringing. She sighed and turned the burner on low before waddling over to the foyer. She groaned as she saw Ximena through the glass part of the front door. 

Rolling her eyes she walked over and opened the door. “Can I help you?” Ximena smirked and looked Janelle up and down, her eyes lingering on Janelle’s belly. “Hello..” Janelle snapped her fingers and Ximena scoffed, rolling her eyes. 

“I’m not a dog, don't snap at me.” She flipped her hair over her shoulder. “I’m here to see Xavi.” Janelle tilted her head to the side and frowned. 

“Um, I wasn’t aware. Xavier had decided to see you.” Ximena rolled her eyes again. 

“You can’t expect a four year old to know what he wants. I’m his mother and I know what he wants and needs.” 

“You can’t be serious. I’ve been more of a mother to him. The only thing you did was push him out.” Ximena stepped closer to Janelle glaring at her. 

“If you weren’t pregnant I would’ve kicked you ass.” Janelle laughed again causing Ximena to shove her a little. Janelle’s dad, who had just come down the steps, witnessed this and rushed over to the two of them, pushing Janelle behind him. 

“Aye! You need to leave. What the hell is wrong with you?” Ximena ignored him, keeping her eyes on Janelle. 

“I’m going to see my son one way or another. ” She blew them a kiss. “See you soon.” 

“That bitch is fucking crazy!” Josh grunted over the phone. “Weird ass knew I wouldn’t be there.” 

“I just wish she would go away.” She sighed as she reclined on the bed, her feet propped up on some pillows. 

“Me too bae. Imma call the lawyer tomorrow, see what we can do. I already told her Xavi doesn’t want to see her.” 

“It’s basically harassment at this point.” She paused as she settled deeper onto the bed.  “How is Xavi? He okay at your moms?’ Josh nodded even though Janelle couldn’t see him. 

“Yeah, he wants to come home though. My mom is making him go to bed early.” Janelle laughed. 

“I want him home. I had to watch Minions  by myself tonight.”  Josh laughed. 

“Childish ass.” 

“You love me though.” 

Sorry its so short... not my best work, but the baby comes in the next chapter ❤️

[pinkydevil16]

Dark! Xavier Thorpe x reader: part 5

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

Rowan pulled at his hair as he tried to calm himself down, his whole body buzzing as he looked at the picture of Wednesday his mother had drawn so long ago, he felt insane as he looked across the room at the empty bed. Xavier barely ever slept in his bed anymore, Rowan having hours to himself where he could spiral and panic about the inevitable doom that would descend on Nevermore. Xavier ran his hand through his hair as he drew the monster, his dreams had been invaded by it, some days it consumed his thoughts whilst other times he dreamt solely of Y/n which made him happy. The one drawing he'd actually burnt had happened the night previous, Y/n's body sliced open and the monster standing over her, he couldn't remember drawing it but he knew it couldn't come true. He wouldn't let it, he didn't know what the monster was, where it was or if it was even real, maybe it was his conscience telling him he was too obsessed with her.  

Xavier had his arm round Y/n as they walked through the festival, trying to keep his eyes from dropping to her outfit, Y/n had let Enid choose her outfit since she was too busy trying to sleep and had mumbled out incoherent words which Enid had taken as acceptance. Enid dressed her in a rust mini skirt and black tights with a cream cropped jumper showing off her waist and hips that Xavier had almost instantly wanted to throw his coat around her and cover her up, she looked way too good for others to look at her. Xavier glared at every normie who looked at Y/n, although he glared more when the two of them walked over to Wednesday as she won a panda Y/n hitting Xavier.

"Wow look at that, it's not impossible." Xavier grinned at her pinching her arm as she teased him since he'd lost the game two times before pulling her away huffing at how it was rigged, Y/n loved how competitive he was mostly because she was the same. Wednesday looked at them before throwing another dart, the balloon popping instantly as she looked around waiting for Tyler. Y/n handed the man enough money for two rounds picking the darts with a cheeky face as she tapped them against her lips looking at Xavier as she thought.

"How about another bet?" Xavier's interest was piqued as he stepped closer picking up the darts and looking down at her as she leaned closer almost touching his chest with her chin as she grinned at his acceptance.

"Lets make this interesting, someone else can choose the prize?" Xavier said casting his eyes to Wednesday as she threw another dart Y/n following his gaze with a wide smile before spinning and leaning on the table facing Wednesday with a cheeky smile.

"I don't want to be involved." Y/n pouted ready to turn back when Tyler arrived, her smile turning devious as she walked up to him tapping her darts against his chest as his eyes widened and he blushed at having someone to boldly come up to him. 

"Chose a prize, me and Xavier have a bet going." Tyler panicked looking towards Wednesday as she threw her last dart ignoring him as he tried to get out of making a decision as Y/n stared up at him, Xavier glaring at him as he tried not to throw a mini tantrum at Y/n being so close to him. 

"Umm, i don't know, dinner?" Y/n rolled her eyes sighing as Wednesday took back Tyler's attention, Y/n looking Xavier annoyed no one could come up with a good plan as she made her way back over.

"That's not fun, okay what about Ajax?" Xavier nodded pulling out his phone calling Ajax as they waited whilst Wednesday disappeared with Tyler, Ajax answering a few moments later

"What's up?" Xavier explained the bet as the phone went silent for a minute, Xavier could hear his evil grin as he spoke.

"Whoever wins gets to make the other one their bitch, for a whole day, choose what they wear, what they do, full on from midnight to midnight."

Y/n raised her eyebrow moving away from the phone sticking out her hand as Xavier grinned shaking her hands enjoying how she pulled him closer talking in a sickly sweet voice.

"Ready to lose handsome?" Xavier grinned as he dropped her hand tapping her chin with a mocking pout.

"Big talk for someone so small." Y/n scowled turning and aiming hitting a balloon straight away a satisfied smile on her face as she faced Xavier watching him line his dart up barely missing the balloon as he groaned Y/n patting his back.

"Oo, guess you're not at the right height to win?" Y/n laughed as she threw another dart hitting the next balloon with a small squeal of excitement getting cocky as she mimed dropping a mic. Xavier breathed in concentrating hard as he threw the dart hitting the balloon with a grin turning to Y/n as she pulled an annoyed face throwing her last dart, missing the balloon as she made a noise of annoyance. Xavier throwing his dart and piercing the balloon looking at Y/n as he pulled out more money.

"Two more darts." Y/n grinned as the man placed down a dart in front of each of them, Xavier bowing as he let Y/n throw first.

"Ladies first." Y/n rolled her eyes kissing her dart before throwing as it shifted to the left narrowly missing the balloon as her jaw clenched, Xavier grinning smugly as he threw the dart the balloon making a loud popping noise as he looked towards Y/n.

"Oo, isn't this going to be fun." Y/n's jaw was hanging open as she stared at the dart, her eyes slowly shifting to Xaviers as she stood up straight sorting out her jumper.

"I'm not a sore loser so when is this starting?" Xavier pretended to think as he moved towards Y/n caging her against the table his hands on either side of her as he looked down at her with a devious grin enjoying how she blew her hair out her face crossing her arms and pushing herself forward so her head reached his chin as he hunched over her. 

"Saturday, my room at midnight and then you're my personal, i'm not going to call you a bitch so i'll think of something else. But your ass mine for a whole 24 hours, i can't wait." Y/n grinned thanking him for not calling her a bitch although she would have called him her bitch without a single thought and found it funny. 

"So respectful Thorpe, alright saturday it is, try not to be too much of a perv." Xavier playfully rolled his eyes moving back and putting his arm around Y/n as they walked before they police sirens looking around as Principle Weems pulled Wednesday out the woods telling everyone the festival was over. Xavier shrugged pulling Y/n closer as they all made their way back, Ajax and Enid catching up with them as Ajax smiled cheekily.

"So who won?" Xavier grinned looking down at Y/n as she pouted putting her middle finger up at Ajax as he laughed winking at Xavier before trying to flirt with Enid except they both were too nervous to see that both of them were flirting. 

"I still think Enid will ask him out first." Y/n whispered to Xavier as they walked, his hand resting loosely on her shoulder as he shook his head his other hand pushing his hair back.

"You're wrong again, he'll totally ask her out first, he keeps saying he'll do it." Y/n looked at Xavier with a pointed look before swirling mist around her fingers.

"Saying is not the same as doing, i can say i'll do my homework, will i? Probably not." Xavier laughed as he watched her play with her powers enjoying how easily she controlled them, he wondered if she ever lost control, what would make her lose control. They continued walking chatting about nothing inserting small comments about Enid and Ajax completely oblivious that the pair had a bet going on their two best friends aswell, Enid and Ajax agreed they already acted like a couple and it was only a matter of time before one of them admitted it.  

Xavier laid in bed, the bed opposite him empty but his mind was too busy as he sketched Y/n, trying to get all the dirty thoughts out his head for the bet before the day came as he needed to prepare for it. One sketch of her in a tiny maids uniform, another of her in just his shirt and more and more each slightly different but all had one detail the same, an X necklace on her like his dreams. Xavier let out a deep sigh as he pushed back his hair, shoving the sketches under his bed and deciding to take a cold shower before he got carried away and stayed up all night drawing Y/n in different positions. The next morning he had a plan in his head as he went into town ordering everything he needed, it would all be ready for saturday as he almost bounced around the shops collecting the items he wanted enjoying each image of Y/n he had related to the items. His favourite being the X necklace he'd dreamt of, the silver necklace in a box with a pretty bow, he couldn't wait to give it to her and place it around her neck, she'd look so cute showing off who she belonged to. As he arrived back he saw Rowan packing his bags but as soon as he arrived Rowan was quick to rush off ignoring Xavier as he tried to ask where he was going but he was gone before he could finish his sentence. Placing the bags on the bed he pulled out each item, the necklace twinkling in the light as he ran his hand over it imagining it around her neck, his finger looped in it pulling her closer as she looked so dazed running his thumb over her lip, shaking his head he put away the necklace stopping his mind from going wild. Pulling out a box as he started putting all of his drawings of Y/n in them, taping the box shut once he was done so she wouldn't see them during his plan, his next item being a maid dress not too inappropriate but he knew no matter what seeing her in it would make him excited. She'd scrunch her nose up at it and reluctantly put it on but he knew she'd secretly enjoy it although she'd mock him the whole time for being a cliche. Placing everything in a nice bag he flopped onto his bed looking at the empty space across from him before closing his eyes slowly falling asleep as he dreamt of Y/n. Y/n looking at the dress with a raised eyebrow before walking closer and walking her nails along his chest until she pulled his chin down with a small grin.

"What kind of crappy porn is this?" Y/n laughed moving away as she waved her hand the dress appearing on her body as she bent down grabbing the necklace and handing it to him, lifting her hair as she waited for him. His eyes glazing over as he looked at her exposed neck, his hands moving to clip the necklace around it letting go and placing his hands on her shoulders before running them down to her waist and spinning her. The x sitting perfectly on her chest where the low neckline showed off her cleavage his eyes drinking in the whole outfit before he spoke.

"Hair up." Y/n smirked using her powers as her hair claw landed in her hand, her other one twisting in her hair as she clipped it up, a few strands falling out as she looked effortlessly fucked out, her lips tinted red and eyeliner giving her a doe eyed look as she looked up at him.

"What can i do for you?" Y/n moved her hand up his arm until it rested around his neck, tangling in his hair as she bit her lip pressing against him until the dream started to warp, the room turning into the forest as Y/n stepped back blood splattered on her face as she fell to the ground, her stomach ripped open and eyes wide as she laid on the ground Xavier trying to get to her as she got further away the monster flashing infront of his eyes as he woke up. His body flying upwards as he shouted Y/n's name in panic, his hand on his heart as he felt like he was going to have a heart attack, his body coated in sweat as he could barely blink the monster engrained in his head along with Y/n's dead body infront of him. 

Wednesday Taglist:

@celibacy-or-death @sarcastic-sourwolf @snips-501 @lilithskywalker @parkersmyth @hey-im-bored504 @1horrormoviewhore1 @peachycupotea @moonmaiden1996 @bebopsworld @betray-jaes@o-the-o-grim-o-reaper-o @ilovedeadguys @kaz-2y567 @darling-twh @90sgothik@thematicallythalia @cheezybread @arivh @kaz-2y567 @akinatrix @just-sana @manuosorioh@alohastitch0626 @snips-501 @lovesanimals0000 @trashmouthsahra @whatinthefreshhellisthis@elle4404 @pasta88love @sourbiscuit @sl-t4ym1r @whatinthefreshhellisthis @it-was-never-meant-to-be-boys @bringontheweirdworld @laneyspaulding19 @torirosalie @nushy @sophiexoxsblog@here4thefanfic @clevercreatornight @@here4thefanfic @runrabbitrun3 @bi-narystars@doingurmom69 @hanmashujisfuturewife @maystecc @hannaeditzs @yeehawbitchs @living-breathing-bibliophile @kissmebakugou @yunoguns @iovaki @paulina15 @hotgirlsshareaccounts@wonderlandco @kylobensgirl @tobylikesfire @cazza2009 @formulaangel55 @mxxny-lupin@rayliz793 @gutterrataesthetic @

[zorosleftshoe]

What A Time - (x.t)

Pairing: Xavier Thorpe x Fem!reader

Summary: Wednesday Addams has drove a wedge between you and your boyfriend, Xavier. Will it be enough for you to move on? Or will you fight for the love you two share?

Warnings: angst

“I think of that night in the park

It was getting dark

And we stayed up for hours

What a lie, what a lie, what a lie

You would cling to my body like you wanted it forever

What a lie, what a lie, what a lie”

Wednesday Addams. The name left a bitter taste in my mouth as I sat in the courtyard watching her interact with Xavier, Enid, and Ajax. It wasn’t that I considered her a threat, even that she had done anything wrong. The problem was Xavier’s deeply rooted interest he had recently mentioned in one of our late night discussions. She was peculiar, mysterious, and more importantly new.

Bianca Barclay had warned me months ago when Xavier had taken up an interest in me that the day would come someone would walk into his life and I would be tossed to the side. Unfortunately at the time I was so taken with him it never occurred to me that that would ever be a possibility. Yet, here I was, sitting next to Yoko being completely blindsided by a girl who’s color palette was simply black and white.

“I believe the words I’m looking for are, I told you so.” Her voice felt sharp. Almost like a knife being twisted in a wound. I didn’t even need to glance up at her to know her face held a devilish smirk. “Karma doesn’t rest. Not even for the wicked.” My eyes fluttered shut and I could hear her heels clicking off into the distance. My stomach churned at the thought of losing Xavier to Wednesday.

“Take what she says with a grain of salt. Everyone sees the way he looks at you.” Yoko reached for my hand and I let her take it in hers. “What do you say we start brain storming for the Poe Cup? Hm?” I hummed in response. Not taking my eyes off the pudding cup that sat untouched on the table. “Something wicked this way comes.” My head shot up at the sound of metal hitting our table. Enid, Ajax, and Xavier had taken their normal spots and were just now preparing for lunch.

“Hey guys.” Enid said cheerily before pulling me into a quick side hug. Xavier sat across from me, his green eyes boring into me but I didn’t dare look up. “Poe Cup is coming up and we need to discuss ideas.”

“I’m actually not feeling well.” I said quickly while pushing myself up from my seat. Xavier was quick to follow my actions. “I’m gonna go to my dorm and take a nap.”

“Let me come with you.” His voice was soft and sweet. Almost like honeysuckle. Finally I glanced up at him and saw the smile spread across his face. My heart ached at the sight. “We can go to Jericho later and grab some dinner if you want.”

“Not necessary.” His face dropped at the rejection and he gently grabbed my elbow and moved us away from our friends and out of earshot. “Xav, please. I want to go to my dorm.” That’s when I felt his fingers gently tugging at my chin and lifting my gaze to meet his.

“You’ve been distant lately. Almost as if you’re a ghost in my life.” He moved his hand from my chin to caress my cheek and out of habit I nuzzled closer into his palm. “I miss you.” His words sent electricity through me. The type of electricity that burns you to the core. It sparked the anger I had tried so hard to keep at bay since Wednesday Addams had made her hasty arrival.

“As if you noticed.” I paused pulling away from his touch and out of his arms. His face twisted in confusion at my words. “Ever since Wednesday arrived it’s as if I don’t exist. You cancelled two date nights and every time I stop by your dorm Rowan says you aren’t there. You promised me after our tiff over Bianca that we would have more nights like that night in the park. You promised, Xav.” His eyes softened at my words and he took a step forward to which I took a step back. “I thought you wanted me forever?” He went to reach for me again but I took another step back.

“Of course I do, baby. I wish I could tell you what’s going on but it’s not my business to tell.” I scoffed at his words. “But you know I want you. I want you always.”

“Then why is it so hard?” He cocked his head at me waiting for me to continue.

“Why is what so hard?” Tears began to well up in my eyes as I held his gaze. Knowing that this might possibly be the last time I look at him like this and hear him say these words. I make a mental note to burn this into the back of my mind and take a shaky breath.

“Loving you.” I can see his shoulders slump at my response. His eyes gloss over and he takes a staggering step backwards. “I think,” I pause, closing my eyes and placing my hand against my stomach to calm myself. If I break now, I won’t be able to go through with this. “I need you to be happy.” Xavier shakes his head and takes a quick step forward gripping tightly onto my arms.

“No, whatever you’re thinking of doing, please, don’t do this. Let’s just go to your dorm and talk about this.” I shake my head and step out of his grip reluctantly. “Please.”

“Then why can’t you say it?” My voice is slightly louder than the previous argument we’ve been having and he winces at the volume. “I have proclaimed my love to you in various ways, Xavier. Yet, you can’t even tell me you love me. I would never force you to do so, but if you love me, if you want me, why does it feel like you don’t?”

“I do. You know I do.” By now Enid and Yoko have caught onto the disagreement at hand and I can feel their gazes set on us. “Let’s just go to your dorm.” He takes my arm in his hand but i viciously rip it from his grip.

“No. I can’t do this anymore.” Slowly I look up at him to see the tears starting to fall. “I love you but I just can’t come second to her or anyone else anymore. I’m sorry, Xav. I’m so sorry.” I quickly lean up on my tip toes and press a kiss to his cheek before turning away and racing to my dorm. Once I’m pressed firmly against the shut door and securely in my dorm the tears flow freely. They’re hot against my cheeks and it’s almost as I can feel my heart physically breaking.

The days pass by with harsh stares and rainy days. In some ways I was grateful for the rain because it helped mask the tears and the heartbreak that came with losing Xavier. It wasn’t until I found him and Wednesday shooting arrows at targets and chatting amongst themselves that it hit me the hardest. I turned on my heels to retreat back into the building but as I took my first step I heard his voice.

“Hey.” It was soft and unsure. “Can we talk?” I knew it was against my better judgement but when I turned and saw the bags under his eyes and how bloodshot his eyes were, I knew I didn’t have a choice. He was as miserable as I was. I nodded and followed behind him as he trailed towards his dorm. Once inside he took a seat on his bed. “Please tell me what’s going on. I’ve been going through the last two weeks in my brain trying to figure out where it all went wrong.”

“If you don’t know, there’s no point in me telling you.” He groaned and rubbed his hands against his face.

“Can you please just talk to me-“ he was cut off by the sound of his phone ringing. He glanced down at it before looking back up at me. It continued to ring.

“Are you gonna get that?” By the look on his face I could already tell who it was. A certain pigtailed goth girl who had captured his attention as if it were a game of capture the flag and she was winning by a long shot. After a few moments it stopped ringing but immediately started again. “Goddamn it, Xavier.” I went to reach for the phone but he grabbed my hand.

“We’re talking. She can wait.” I felt my face harden at his words. She can wait.

“So I was right?” I pull my arm from his grasp and take a couple steps backwards. “It’s Wednesday.” He sighed heavily before glancing down at the phone. “Please. Don’t keep her waiting on my behalf.” The sound of a text message coming through steals his attention away and suddenly he’s rushing out of his seat.

“I have to go.” He throws a jacket on and grabs his flashlight before attempting to walk passed me. With all the strength I could muster I grab his elbow and catch his gaze.

“If you walk out that door, you’re walking out of my life.” He closes his eyes for all but a second and presses a gentle kiss to my forehead.

“I’m sorry.” And with those words he disappeared into the crowded hallway. My eyes stung with tears that wanted to fall freely and my heart ached as his words became the final nail in the coffin of our relationship. The rain fell heavy outside the windows as I walked back to my dorm room. All I could think was how ironic it was that the weather could mimic my exact feelings in that moment. I wanted to mourn. To sulk. To simply disappear into the shadows where no one could find me. But how do you mourn someone who is still alive?

The days crept agonizingly slow. Xavier kept his distance and found sanctuary in Wednesday and our friends while I clung to the shadows. I was sitting alone in the Quad when Bianca began to approach me. When she noticed my glare she held her hands up in surrender.

“I come in peace. However, I do have a proposition.” She takes a seat across from me and nods toward Xavier who is sat across from Wednesday at our normal table. “I hear Wednesday is going to be co-pilot for Enid and the Black Cats today for the Poe Cup. Join our team.” I scoff and push my tray away.

“What makes you think I would do that?” Her face breaks out into a devilish grin.

“You’re in need of a win and I want Xavier and Wednesday to be as distracted as possible.” Unfortunate for both of us, being her co-pilot only led us to another loss. Wednesday and Enid had led their team to a win while Xavier and Ajax cheered them on. That night as I sat in my dorm a soft knock could be heard on my door.

“I don’t want visitors.” I stated plainly as I opened to door to see the all too familiar pigtailed girl.

“Good thing I didn’t ask.” She stepped by me and took a seat in my writing chair.

“What? Here to rub salt in the wound?” Her lips twitched upwards into the smallest of smiles but she quickly caught on and looked away.

“Although the thought gives me much pleasure I’m here about Xavier.” I follow her gaze as she glances around the room. “It’s come to my attention that you believe I’m trying to engage in a romantic relationship with him.”

“That’s not-“ she held her hand up.

“I can assure you that’s not my intentions. All I want is to figure out what killed Rowan and what it has to do with me. Xavier is just collateral. He has been helping me.” Her words stop me cold in my tracks. I take a seat on my bed across from her and finally meet her eyes.

“Rowan’s dead?” She nods.

“I saw it myself. He was murdered by the monster and someone is covering it up.” She reaches into her pocket and pulls out a neatly folded piece of paper before handing it me. On it what looks to be a picture of her. “Before he died he told me I would destroy the school. I’m trying to figure out what he meant. Maybe you could be of assistance. Xavier says you’re smart.” I shrug.

“Sure but why do you want my help?” She takes the paper from my hands and folds it before placing it back in her pocket.

“I need someone as clever as me to help me solve this puzzle. First, you need to speak with Xavier.” With that she rises to her feet and walks to the door. “He loves you. For whatever reason.” I pull my phone from my pocket and quickly type out a message to him. After a few minutes there’s another knock on my door before it slowly opens.

“Hey.” His voice is quiet. He took a seat beside me on the bed and placed his hands in his lap. After a few moments of silence I finally spoke.

“I was wrong about you.” His eyebrows raised in confusion at my words and I slowly reached forward to take his hands in mine. “Loving you isn’t hard. In fact, I think it’s the easiest thing in the world. That’s why it was so hard for me to see how close you and Wednesday were getting. It reminded me that I’m replaceable. You had so much going on and all I saw was the tip of the iceberg.” He began to softly caress the back of my hand with his thumb and he rested his head on against my shoulder.

“I only fed into your fears. I should have told you. I’m so sorry, baby.” His eyes finally met mine and he inched forward until his lips were hovering next to mine. “I love you.” My eyes widened at his words.

“You said it.” He nodded with a wide smile on his place. “Please tell me I didn’t force you-“

“No, no. I mean it. I’ve felt it for a long time. I think the only reason I was afraid to say it is because every person I let in leaves.” He paused caressing my cheek. “I don’t want you to leave.” With a wide smile and a swelled heart, I pressed my lips firmly against him.

“Never.” One simple word but it was a promise I was bound to keep.

[lndsarchive]

World Underneath - 04 From The Stars

01. Sweeties | 02. Home | 03. Waterfall Inside Forest | 04. Catastrophe | 05. Philo

01. Sweeties

2033. Summer.

"One salted egg yolk cheesecake and one chocolate chiffon cake."

Jeremiah, standing by the counter of Sweeties Cake Shop, leans slightly forward. His bright eyes follow the girl behind the counter.

--

"You've been coming here a lot recently, Jeremiah. Are you addicted to cakes now?"

Jeremiah's eyes dart around as he reveals a slightly goofy smile. "Maybe."

Two boxes of beautifully wrapped cakes are placed in front of him. Jeremiah pays, then pushes the cheesecake back. "This is for you."

The girl is taken aback, a hint of surprise flickering across her face before she quickly recovers. "If you keep doing this, my dad… Ahem, my boss will say you're playing favorites. He'll be upset you're only treating me and not him."

She turns to look at the middle-aged man behind her, who's busy decorating cakes with a piping bag. She turns back and shrugs at Jeremiah.

"It's a secret, then…" Jeremiah whispers, leaning closer. "Ahem, this is Jeremiah from the Planetary Shuttle Squad Two, requesting a secret cake exchange with Squad One member, Bella. Please respond, over!"

The girl chuckles, then quickly covers her mouth and whispers, "Squad One, Bella. Message received. Beginning cake transfer, over! Okay, Jeremiah, your friend is still outside. Don't keep him waiting."

"I'm going," Jeremiah says, his tone suddenly a little awkward. "By the way, you haven't forgotten about the dinner at my house on Sunday… right?"

…

--

Ding ding ding. The door of the cake shop closes. Xavier, who had been waiting for a long time, glances at Jeremiah. "I thought you said you couldn't get used to Earth food?"

"Oh," Jeremiah says, waving his hand. "I bought it for displaying purposes."

Xavier raises an eyebrow. Before he can say the words Jeremiah knows is coming, Jeremiah quickly pats his shoulder. "Come on, teach me how to make some Earth dishes. You've been researching recipes recently, right?"

_________________________________________________________

02 Home

"Bella loves marigolds. I want her to see them when she comes over for dinner," Jeremiah says, holding a vase as he passes by Xavier. He peeks out from behind the orange blossoms. "Where do you think I should put it? At the door, by the dinner table, or on the balcony?"

After being asked the same thing for the 23rd time, Xavier glances at the door adorned with plants, then at the dinner table surrounded by fresh flowers, and finally at the balcony that can only be described as a sea of flowers. "I think there's no space."

"Really?"

Baffled, Jeremiah looks around the house he rented a week ago. "I didn't think it was this small when I saw it."

"You could hold it," Xavier suddenly says.

"Huh?"

"Hold it and give it to her when you open the door."

Jeremiah scratches his head. "Oh… We're just friends. I don't want her to misunderstand." He turns to Xavier with a playful grin. "Have you used this trick before?"

Xavier glances at him. "What?"

"What do you mean 'what'? Don't play dumb." Jeremiah nudges him. Xavier walks to the sofa, picks up a magazine, and sits down. "Fine, don't tell me then."

--

The oven in the kitchen signals the food is ready. Jeremiah insisted Xavier stay for the dinner he set up to greet his "friend."

His reason? It adds a "human touch."

Wearing oven mitts, he takes out the baked cheesy rice and sets it down in front of Xavier. "Bella says that since we've met, we should make a mark in each other's lives. Otherwise, there's no point in meeting."

Suddenly, it starts pouring outside. Xavier stares at the drenched sky, and silence envelops the room.

"Come on, help me taste this. I've been taste- testing this for the past few days. I can't even tell if it's good or bad anymore."

Xavier looks away from the window and scoops up some rice covered in cheese and tomato sauce. The spoon is connected to the bowl via a string of cheese. "It's all right. Needs a bit more salt."

"Really?"

Jeremiah frowns, eating a spoonful himself. Even after coming with the Backtrackers to this place over two hundred years ago, he still can't fully understand the diverse tastes of Earthlings. But since Xavier suggested it, there must be a reason. He nods.

"I'm just treating her to a meal. When Isaiah was looking for us before, she helped cover for me. I know nothing can happen between us. We don't age the way people here do. It wouldn't be fair."

As Jeremiah eats, he rambles on, not even realizing the unease hidden in his voice.

"Don't worry, I don't have any ulterior motives. Besides, I haven't finished my main task yet. I'm the one who has to fix the spaceship's launcher, right?"

The rain outside is relentless. Through the window, the raindrops seem to be capable of piercing through anything. They crisply pitter- patter as they hit the glass. Xavier puts down his spoon, wipes his mouth, and stands up.

"Forget it. You haven't fixed it in two hundred years. You might as well focus on dating."

"What?!"

In a flash of light, Xavier disappears along with the newly modified accelerator Jeremiah had on the table.

He sighs and takes the dishes back to the now- empty kitchen. If someone told him hundreds of years ago, back when the Traceback II was riddled with holes from an asteroid as they were in cosmic turbulence, he would face the mundane problem of greasy dishes, he would've laughed.

He understands Xavier's indifferent reaction. As the leader of the Backtrackers, Xavier must have seen more of his former companions leave compared to Jeremiah. Asteroids, turbulence, and the collapse of wormholes couldn't tear Traceback II's team apart. With Xavier there, they managed to break through the universe's most impregnable spacetime barrier. Yet such an invincible team eventually dissolved in the mundane times of this era, from a loved one handing them flowers.

The radio behind Jeremiah switches from its regular program to a news broadcast.

"The year isn't over yet, but we've already predicted that this will be the heaviest, most widespread rain."

"It's expected to end on Saturday. Sunday will be sunny. It will be perfect for a trip. Let's look forward to a wonderful weekend."

He turns off the TV and walks onto the flower- filled balcony. There's a tranquil sunset, no monsters, no fluctuations, and no need to fight in the cosmos… Living like this is the reason why many people left the Backtrackers.

Maybe those who left just missed home too much.

_________________________________________________________

03 Waterfall Inside Forest

After leaving Jeremiah's fabricated "home," Xavier walks under the moonlight to a secluded forest on the city outskirts. Behind the dense forest and the signal-blocking zone is the largest cosmic signal transmission and reception station. It was secretly built by Linkon City.

He could technically teleport to any place he had been before using his Evol, but he always slows down when passing this signal station. The blue light on the top of the tower flickers, almost blending in with the starry sky. Apart from that, most of the buildings in the base aren't tall. They're sparsely scattered in the forest clearing. Occasionally, maintenance staff would walk around, their whispers echoing in the distance.

These faint sounds are as comforting as the cosmic white noise they heard when they traveled through unfamiliar galaxies. His mind wanders back to the seemingly endless journey back when he slept in the hibernation pod.

He heads deeper into the forest, through a pitch-black valley, walking until no buildings are visible. There, he reaches his destination-

The crash site of Traceback II.

--

Only part of the wreckage is above ground. He pushes away the vines and places Jeremiah's accelerator into the launcher. He lights it with his Evol. Little specks of light float from his hand into the leaves below. Soon, blue electricity starts flowing, and a cold mechanical noise echoes under the starry sky. He sits down in the pilot's seat, quietly waiting for the result. Fortunately, the forests in every spacetime sound and smell the same.

He closes his eyes, thinking about his home. Some say that from a higher dimensional perspective, time doesn't exist. The past, present, and future unfold in the same space. A person can only see the world before them because their eyes can only perceive the light projected from it.

If this is true, then somewhere in the vast cosmos, there might exist a point where light from countless timelines converges. From there, one could see every star that ever existed, from the explosion of the universe to its eventual collapse, and witness every possible ending the world could take under an infinite number of choices.

The mechanical roar subsides, leaving the forest in silence and darkness.

It's hopeless without Protocore Energy.

He collects his scattered thoughts and opens his eyes to a cascading waterfall of stars in the forest.

He raises his hand, as though he wants to catch them. If time really doesn't exist, then within this sea of stars before him… Could he see Philos? And his and her little planet?

_________________________________________________________

04 Catastrophe

A year passes. Jeremiah still hasn't found a suitable power source to start the spaceship. The rented "home" gradually became his real home.

After arriving in this era, several unwritten rules were formed among the Backtrackers, such as changing residences regularly and avoiding unnecessary contact. After obtaining the identity of a "normal person," Jeremiah loses all contact with Xavier. He did look for him many times privately, but in a way, he feels as though this fruitless search might be better. Whether it's because of guilt or not wanting another traitor like Isaiah to trouble Xavier, he doesn't know.

Besides, with his current appearance-gloves and an apron-he really wouldn't know what to say if he were to meet his former captain.

--

His days drifting in Traceback II feel like a dream from a previous life. Jeremiah's biggest worry now is how to give Bella a ring and invite her to live in this "home" he built for her.

But before he can come up with a satisfactory plan, a three-day polar night begins. He had a bad feeling about it, all of which comes to fruition when, at three in the morning on the last day, he sees a Wanderer. It pierces through the skyscrapers of Linkon City like a meteor, shooting right through the psychological defenses of its citizens.

People who have never seen such a monster are captured by Death as they're enveloped in fear. They cry as they say their final goodbyes to family, friends, and lovers. Then, they're mercilessly crushed by a Wanderer that somehow appeared behind them, becoming a handful of dust.

When Jeremiah reaches Sweeties Cake Shop, he only sees collapsed buildings and destroyed shop signs. In the ruins, a small marigold is buried under the rubble.

He doesn't dwell on it for long, quickly realizing he's perhaps one of the few people who knows how to defeat these monsters. But when he tries to shatter the Wanderer's Protocore as he had done when part of the Order of Lightseekers, he finds no weapons at hand or within sight.

This era is far behind the level of technology they had on Philos.

His peaceful life has almost made him forget how to fight. As the monster's roar reaches his ears, he rolls over and watches helplessly as the marigold disintegrates in a dark blue energy wave.

--

In the early days of the catastrophe, he briefly worked with Xavier in the most devastated areas.

And standing in the middle of a severely damaged road, Xavier rescued a girl and disappeared soon after.

Jeremiah knows that he must have found "her."

The disaster lasted much longer than anyone imagined. On January 1, 2035, the Hunters Association was officially established. The President announces in the January 1 Agreement that they may have to coexist with Wanderers.

The newly rebuilt Azure Square broadcasts this historical moment on a giant holographic screen. Jeremiah is in the crowd when it plays. It feels as if an ancient spaceship has finally landed, and the real Traceback mission has just begun.

_________________________________________________________

05 Philo

In 2037, Linkon City mostly rebuilt itself at an almost incredible speed. After mastering the purification and use of Protocore Energy, it's even more prosperous than before the disaster.

Xavier walks around a corner and is hit by a floral scent. He looks up to see a flower shop called Philo. Its golden marigolds spill out onto the street.

It's all very familiar. He vaguely remembers this used to be a cake shop.

The shopkeeper, carrying a potted plant, pushes open the glass door. His greeting is caught in his throat at the sight of Xavier.

--

"I bought this place, so I'm living here now. The backyard is a greenhouse, and the third. floor is a workspace." Jeremiah invites his long-lost friend into the shop and serves two cups of hot tea. "The spaceship's launcher is-"

"Did she eat dinner at your place that weekend?"

Xavier unexpectedly interrupts him with a long-lost memory, leaving Jeremiah somewhat at a loss.

"Ah, you mean Bella…" He scratches his head. "She did. And she immediately noticed that I rented the house. Bella said no one would clear out a house until it's only filled with flowers. She knew who I was from the start and said she saw me when she was a child. She also said she'd like to see my real home if she could."

Jeremiah touches a small ring he wears on a necklace as he speaks, then he tucks it back into his collar. "Enough about me. How are you? Do you need a new identity? I can get you one."

Xavier shakes his head, walking over to a cluster of blue flowers. In the center of the five petals is a small yellow star. Wavyleaf sea lavender. He hasn't seen one in a long time.

"…I won't lie, I felt quite guilty these past two years. It seems like everyone had a reason to give up and leave halfway except you. Well, you did too, but you wouldn't because no one could replace you. We all thought that you'd still make it to the end, even if you were the only one left. It's cruel, but sometimes I think those of us who left early can live their lives in peace as long as you're still holding on."

"You can always choose what kind of life you want to lead," Xavier says softly. It's as if tiny suns illuminate the slightly wilted petals. "Have you gotten used to Earth food?"

Jeremiah stands up. "Captain, can I come back?"

Xavier looks at him, seemingly thinking his question is unnecessary. "Just do what you think is right."

--

By the time Xavier leaves Philo, night has already enveloped the newly built Linkon City. On the overpass, Xavier looks down at the endless stream of cars and hurried pedestrians. Everyone is absorbed in their journey, and not a single person pauses to gaze at the stars above.

Of course, it's late. Everyone is rushing home, like how all life ultimately returns to where it came from.

No matter what he chooses, his fate always remains the same.

"Xavier, you already found her, right? So, why don't you settle down somewhere?"

As he leaves, Jeremiah's words echo in his ears.

His gaze falls on the distant cityscape. Over the years, the light pollution in Linkon City has become increasingly severe, making it impossible to see anything.

He remembers the waterfall of stars he had seen deep in the forest. That's his last memory of his distant homeland.

Maybe, this time, he can settle down.

If possible, he wants a place where he can see the stars.

[lovingthereign25]

Reconciliation 🖤

Part 2

How can we be lovers if we can't be friends!

The next morning I woke up still in Joe's hotel, I looked over and see Joe still sleeping peacefully. Without waking him I slowly slip out of bed gathering my clothes and belongings. I quietly leave Joe's room. I get back to my room thinking I'm in the clear….not a chance I'm taken back by Lana.

" Bitch you scared the hell out of me " I said holding my chest

"And where have you been?" She asks

'I went to the gym early" I tried to lie

"Liar…you're still in your gear from last…." She started stopping mid sentence. Then the look I hated most washed over her face. Her I was right face!

''You spent the night with Joe didn't you?" She asks smirking

''So what if I did he's my husband still…so it's kinda like recycling " I say

"Recycling? I truly hate you" she laughs

"Lana in all seriousness it was just a quick little fix nothing changed it meant nothing' I say heading towards the shower.

As Lana and I headed to the car that was waiting for us I spotted Joe and Solo who were walking right towards us

"Lana I'll meet you in the car" I say trying to head out before Joe noticed me

"Y/n!" I heard shit he saw me but I kept walking as if I hadn't heard.

"Y/n, hey " I feel Joe now turning me around

"Hey, I thought I heard my name" I lie

Joe leaned in to kiss me but I moved going in to hug Solo

"Hey, Big shot, how's the main roster treating you?" I smile

'Good good I'm blessed to be doing this with the fam" Solo answered nodding towards Joe

Solo is pulled away by Xavier leaving just Joe and I.

" You slipped out early this morning huh?" He asks

" Yea, sorry I needed a shower" I say trying not to make eye contact

"My room had a shower, but hey I get it" he says " don't want anyone to know you're screwing your husband" .

"Joe, it's complicated." I whisper

"Complicated?...right" Joe says

" Joe…." I start but he cuts me off

" It's fine Y/n, I'll pick the kids up tomorrow" he says walking away.

A few days later I was talking to Lana and Brandi who were two of my best friends about an arrangement Paul and Stephanie had offered me about coming back to team with Lita and Becky for WrestleMania in a few months.

"This is so exciting…Y/n I'm so happy for you" Brandi smiled

" We should celebrate" Lana chimed in

" What exactly are we celebrating?" We turn to see Joe holding one of our twins, our son Karter. Who was a spitting Image of his father, just like all 3 of our kids were.

"Y/n, is gonna have a WrestleMania match with Becky and Lita against Damage Control" Lana nearly yelled.

"Hey, that's great!Right bubs?" Joe smiled bouncing Karter in his arms

"Oh I gotta go, I forgot I had to pick up Liberty." Brandi says

"Yea me too I have to meet Rusev for dinner" Lana says as they both come over to hug then Joe.

"Mama, can daddy help me with my homework today?' our 7 year old Leilani asked

"That's up to your daddy sweet girl." I smile at her

"Daddy, will you stay and help me?" She asked Joe .

I couldn't help but smile knowing Joe couldn't say no to her especially with those big beautiful brown eyes of hers

"I sure will, let me put your brother in his playpen" he smiled at his little girl.

"Joe, if you want you can stay for dinner too." I say

"Sounds good….thanks!" He nods heading into the living room.

After dinner Joe put the babies down. While

I got Leilani in the bath and ready for bed.

"Karsyn kept grabbing her ear before bed thinking she might be getting a ear infection" Joe says startling me a little

"Shit, you scared me" I almost yell

" My bad. Hey, I just wanna say how proud I am of you, this comeback these moments you're getting you deserve all of it" he smiled

"Thanks, by the way I'm sorry for how we left things the other day at the hotel. It's just this whole separation before the divorce gets to me sometimes and well I'm just sorry if I made you feel some type of way" I say

"It gets to me too Y/n, I just don't think this is the right thing to do anymore, maybe we should try a little harder to make"us " work". He says

"Joe,I don't think we can fix this " I reply

"How could you say that? Is that what you honestly think?" He asks

"Joe how can we be lovers if we can't even be friends…this is the longest we've gotten along in weeks" I say

" What if we just agree to start over ya know star fresh" he says

" When we try to work it out we never get it right..we must be crazy to keep this up" I say trying my hardest to hold back tears.

I loved Joe. I honestly and truly did but us as a couple just didn't work.

" Y/n, we belong together. That's what I know" he says stepping closer

"Joe what if we aren't though" I whisper

Joe kisses me without warning backing me up against the counter, his hands slowly moving up my body stopping at my face. Stopping for a brief second to place me on top of the counter.

"Joe" I let out

" I got you baby" he says kissing my neck

" No, Joe we have to stop sex can't fix everything" I say

"True, but an orgasm will help with all the stress from arguing " he says, connecting our lips again.

[fletchervanhall]

Aftermath | Para

Featuring: Fletcher Van Hall with mentions of Xavier Mitchell & several others Location: En route from SF to NYC Time Frame: Late afternoon/early evening, June 23, 2024 Notes: The happenings for Fletcher following the call he received from DJ.

Fletcher felt like he was having an out-of-body experience.

Previously, he was in the kitchen cooking dinner, knowing that Henry and Winter were in the backyard gardening with Drew while Phoebe napped. He'd seasoned a salmon to go on the grill and was preparing some couscous and green beans on the stove when the call came in from DJ.

"Hey D-"

"It's Xavier," she'd said, causing Fletcher to instantly tense, his focus zeroing in on whatever was going to come through the phone next.

"He's... it's a car accident."

Fletcher felt like in the span of a single heartbeat, his entire 6'1" frame filled with panic. Several thoughts flooded his mind another beat later.

"What happened? Is he okay?" he stupidly asked. Of fuckin' course he's not okay, dipshit, he scolded himself. He could hear it in DJ's voice that Xavier was not okay.

"I'm going to the hospital. I don't know which. I'll let you know when I get there." Just as he was about to repeat the second question, DJ said, "It's... it's not good, Fletcher."

"I'll be there as soon as I can. If you can, tell him that for me. Tell him the kids and I love him and... yeah." He couldn't form a clear-cut thought and even hearing DJ's promise that she'd tell him sounded like it was coming from under water.

When the call ended, he was trying to figure out what to do next.

I have to book a flight. I have to tell Henry, Winter and Drew. Would the kids come with me? Was Xavier in a state for any of them to see him? Should they have to deal with that? He's their dad, newly so. What even happened? What about Phoebe and Drew? I should call Emiliana. And Rodrigo. How long will I be gone? How can I drop everything and leave Phoebe and Drew? Maybe I should bring them too. How the hell am I going to tell the kids? Who fucking hurt Xavier of all people? How soon can I get a flight out? Can I swing it to get flights for the kids and himself? Fuck it, I have the funds. I'll use my credit card. I've got to. I'll worry about the rest later. Does Riley know? Does his family overseas know? Shit, I should've asked DJ. I should call them. But the flight needed to be booked. How soon can I get there? Goddammit, the grill's lit and everything on the stove's half-done. I need to get things squared away here first. But if I wait too long, flights out of here will pass us by and--

"Fletcher?"

The tat artist snapped out of his mental spiraling and looked up to see his uncle standing in the kitchen entrance. Fletcher noticed his fingers were lightly dusted with dirt as he leaned on his cane.

"What is it, son?" Drew asked, his expression immediately hardening with concern.

Fletcher's gaze darted all over the place like he was trying to chase the most linear response. "It's Xavier. There was a car accident. It's not... he's being taken to a hospital. I need to go to him but I don't know what the fuck to do."

He harshly pushed a hand through his hair, unlocking his phone screen and trying to figure out if he should search flights first or call Emiliana and Rodrigo first.

"You do know what to do," Drew pushed back, approaching his nephew. "Listen to me, Fletcher. You book the fastest flight there and get your ass to New York. Don't worry about the cost or that dumb shit. And I know I've got this stupid-ass disease but I'm not completely helpless, alright? I can make calls, and hold down the fort here."

Fletcher nodded and at his uncle's insistence, he took a deep breath and then got to searching for nonstop flights out of SFO. Eventually, plans were falling into place and movement was happening. He and Drew had the tough conversation with Henry and Winter to tell them what little was known about their dad's well-being at this time. Fletcher and Drew both comforted them and then helped them pack some of the clothes they had there at the Van Hall home. Drew had called Emiliana while Fletcher called Rodrigo and then Khamani, asking them both about taking turns coming by to give Emiliana relief and helping with Phoebe and Drew. The decision for both Drew and Phoebe to stay behind had been a difficult one for Fletcher but he'd been urged on by his uncle that it was for the best right now. On the way to the airport, he called Xavier's assistant and asked her to let whoever else needed to know what was going on.

In about 2 hours, he, Winter and Henry were on a plane, taking off for a nonstop flight to NYC. He'd sat in the middle seat, frequently glancing at both kids throughout the flight and doing his best to keep them calm and comforted. There was some small grace in Henry falling asleep mid-flight as he could imagine the mental and emotional exhaust taking its toll. Winter had been quiet but Fletcher was almost certain she was trying to maintain her resolve for her little brother's sake and possibly a default for her own self-preservation. He understood this all too well with his own thoughts still racing and hadn't pushed for her to let her guard down.

By the time they landed at La Guardia, Fletcher received the hospital info from DJ. He searched for the nearest hotel to the hospital and called ahead to one. While on the call, however, he received an incoming call from DJ. She'd told him that Xavier's friend, Salvador was putting them all up at a hotel located half a mile from the hospital. After thanking her, he gave the Lyft driver the address as an added stop. DJ texted the reservation information to him and he sent back a "Got it. Thanks," to her.

Some 15 minutes later, the driver pulled up as close to the curb as possible and turned on their hazard lights. While Winter and Henry grabbed their bags from the back of the vehicle, Fletcher told the driver they'd be back down in about 10 minutes. The driver looked a little annoyed and Fletcher narrowed his eyes. He waited for the kids to head into the lobby ahead of him before rounding on the driver.

"Listen, I dunno what kind of shitty night you're having but I promise you--I promise you it's nothing compared to what we're dealing with. If you can't wait 10 goddamn minutes for us to get checked in, drop their luggage off and come back so that they can see their dad in the fucking hospital then just tell me right goddamn now and I'll cancel the rest of the ride."

The driver looked affronted but nodded, "I'll wait."

"Good. We'll be back."

He opened the passenger door with his duffle bag slung over his shoulder and intentionally slammed the door on his way to the lobby.

After a relatively seamless check-in and an elevator ride up to drop off the kids' belongings, the 3 returned outside. The Lyft driver was still there, somewhat surprising Fletcher. But the last part of their ride was extremely short, and if they were lucky, they wouldn't have to deal with this driver ever again.

After getting to the floor DJ instructed and finding her in the waiting room, he thanked her again in person for everything--the updates when possible and, he suspected she reached out to Salvador about the hotel accommodations. DJ reciprocated Henry and Winter's hugs and then all of them went to the nurse's station. They didn't have anything new to share since Fletcher and the kids landed, but the nurse said that he could, at the present, have 2 visitors at a time. Teeth grinding, Fletcher pushed for 3 without sharing a lot of detail on the kids' journey with the foster system and how important Xavier was to all of them. One of the nurses seemed to take pity or at the very least, sympathized and allowed the 3 of them to go in at once.

[thehangeddemon]

Madam X’s Shoulder Strap, Part III || Rohan, Ariel, & Xavier || July, 2023

Ariel: There were hours of daylight remaining before Rohan's return. Ariel returned to his apartment in a bit of a daze, tidying up the kitchen and making his bed while he reviewed for the tenth time every second of every minute in Rohan's presence. His eyes, his smile, his voice on repeat like one of his songs to memorize.

He forced himself to his desktop, pulling up a song he had meant to complete days ago.

He stared off into the distance, cheek in hand, and waited for something to happen. Some spark. The song wasn't hitting the same.

Thirty minutes later, the project was scrapped. A new file was made titled "Love Me Sober," and his desktop was abandoned.

He needed to choose a pair of shoes and fill his kitchen with something other than yogurt and eggs. Needed to plan dinner tonight. Needed to get high, maybe. He still hadn't decided.

Rohan/Xavier: "Holy--!" Rohan rubbed at his chest where his heart was trying its level best to burst through. "You scared me!"

"Good morning to you, too, Mr. Dalca," Xavier said cheerfully, grinning at Rohan from the couch in his suite. "I see we're still in last night's clothes. Oh my, and they're wrinkled! Just what did you get up to?"

Rohan gave Xavier a deadpan look as he set his phone and his keys on the coffee table. Of course the demon had been waiting for him. Rohan just knew there would be no escaping a bit of teasing. "Nothing you haven't done a thousand times."

Xavier was positively delighted. "I take it you had a very good time with Mr. Cassidy then."

"I'm going to go change."

"You look tired, did he keep you up all night?"

Rohan shook his head and walked into the closet. "Go wait for me in the lobby."

"You haven't answered my question!"

"Aren't you in a rush to buy your new toy?"

"I want to know!"

"Did you suddenly turn into John?" Rohan might have sounded exasperated, but there was humor in his voice. It wasn't often Xavier acted like the younger sibling he was at his core. "Go wait downstairs or you're going to the showroom by yourself."

Xavier sighed dramatically and got to his feet. "Fine, fine. Don't be long."

Rohan didn't get a break from Xavier's nosy teasing until they arrived at the showroom and the demon's attention was taken by the shiny luxury cars and the salesmen all but falling at his feet. Rohan gave his opinion when it was wanted, commented when it was necessary. But mostly he observed.

And thought about a certain man in Brooklyn.

A couple of hours after his departure, Ariel would get a text.

{Text from Unknown Number} Miss me yet?

Ariel: Ariel had debated on making a reservation at some high-end restaurant nearby but pushed the thought aside for the foreseeable future. Upscale crystal glasses and a hundred utensils weren’t his style, but wanting to cook at home was becoming just as daunting of a task once he walked into the market and realized he had painfully little equipment at home. Home was for snacking. Going out was for eating.

But Rohan wasn’t a city boy. He just happened to work in one. Sometimes. The details still weren’t clear to him. The more he thought about it, the vaguer Rohan’s work seemed.

Thoughts discarded as he roamed the aisles feeling very much out of place. Strawberries, something to make pancakes? Yes. Syrup or whipped cream? Both. Some oranges as well.

There were plenty of toiletries at home. He smiled at the thought of Rohan in his shower. Of his scent lingering on his boyfriend for the rest of the day. ‘Oh,’ Dracula would say, ‘you smell different!’

He must have looked a little insane, laughing by himself. He checked his phone for a message and laughed out loud to see what he had hoped for.

{Text} Was just thinking about you

It didn’t matter what he could or couldn’t cook if he didn’t have the tools to do it. A fancy homemade dinner would have to wait for another day, but he had an idea. Just needed to rush home with what little he had.

Rohan: Rohan smiled at his phone. The fact that he wasn't the only one whose mind was on their new boyfriend made him ridiculously happy.

He wandered away from Xavier and the salesman and into the reception area, seating himself in a comfortable corner. He wouldn't be missed for the next while.

{Text} You summoned me with your thoughts

{Text} Thinking good things or bad ones?

Ariel: {Text} You're not in my bed so that's bad

{Text} Was thinking you smell like me right now

Ariel was only paying just enough attention to pay for his groceries and haul everything with one hand, nose to his phone as he headed out the glass doors.

Rohan: Oh yes he did, and it was making him happy and slightly tormenting him at the same time.

{Text} I do. You can smell me all you want when I get back later

{Text} What are you up to?

Ariel: {Text} Just getting some things. Gonna work on my music and some other shit

{Text} What are you up to

Rohan: {Text} Watching car salesmen lust over Dracula and his wallet

{Text} Want to see?

Ariel: {Text} I'll fuck up his sale so bad you sure about a video call?

Rohan: {Text} Not a video call, just a video

{Text} Give me a moment

A few minutes later, Ariel would receive a clip in his messages.

In it, Xavier and a salesman sat on opposite sides of a large desk off to the side of a spacious showroom with gleaming floors and filled with gleaming cars. The salesman was enthusiastically going over paperwork with Xavier. A junior salesman and another assistant stood at the main salesman’s shoulder. The assistant was practically drooling and the junior salesman wasn’t far off.

The chorus of ‘yes, Mr. Rossmara’s and ‘of course we can, Mr. Rossmara’s was audible even from the reception area.

Ariel: {Text} Aw man lol

His response would have to wait until he walked into the door of his apartment. Texting was only slowing him down on the way home with groceries in hand.

What he was really looking for in the video was a glimpse of his man.

{Text} Bro he's a GTA character

Rohan: Alas, there would be no glimpse of Rohan in the video. As he was the one recording the video, the only trace of him was a slight shake as he chuckled.

{Text} The car stealing game?

Ariel: {Text} Not gonna ask if you're a gamer you just answered for me

Rohan: {Text} I’m not but I don’t think there’s anyone who doesn’t know what that game is

Ariel: {Text} Not really a gamer either but I have a Steam

{Text} Just got home. Gonna keep myself busy and might go out one more time

Rohan: Now that one he did have to look up. Not an uncommon occurrence but it did make him feel his age ever so slightly.

{Text} There’s plenty of time still, do whatever you have to

{Text} As long as you’re done by dinner

Ariel: {Text} Yes sir lol

{Text} Call me when you're heading out

Rohan: {Text} I will, promise

{Text} I’ve got a long day ahead but I will come back to you

Ariel: Ariel stared at that last text for some time. How long he didn't know. Such a simple promise had caught him off guard and fluttered his stomach almost sick. He had a lot to process again. The same feelings he had felt kissing Rohan's hand. It was as though he knew Ariel's concern.

After groceries were put away he headed back upstairs, pulled out his composition notebook, and jotted down song titles. The start of every original song began with a title. A word or phrase he couldn't get out of his head. ‘Love Me Sober’ was put to paper, followed by ‘Every Hour of the Day’ with a smile. He stared off at nothing a moment, jotted down ‘Felicity’ and ‘One More’.

There was suddenly a renewed confidence in his upcoming album.

Rohan: After they finished up at the showroom—and made the salesman very, very happy—Rohan and Xavier made their way to lunch.

They discussed Xavier’s new purchase and their schedule for the rest of the day, each alluded vaguely to what they had gotten up to the night before. They asked each other some questions that got answered, others that were only answered with other questions. Both fishing, in a familiar, affectionate way.

The rest of the day was a mix of business and pleasure. Actual work, enjoyable activities, frivolous detours. It was exhausting, but it was exhausting in a way that made him that much more excited to see Ariel at the end of it.

As promised, when late afternoon rolled around, the DJ would get a text.

{Text} I’m at my hotel getting my things

{Text} I’ll be there soon

Ariel: {Text} That's not a call!

Not that he minded at the moment, but both hands were quite occupied. Still, he had an idea how soon soon was, and ran back upstairs to spritz himself with cologne, check his hair, and his breath.

He was in new clothes by now, having hit the gym after completing one of his new songs in three hours. A record. Gray slacks and a deep blue shirt, no shoes as usual.

A black sheer curtain had been ordered that afternoon. Ordered, that is, as no store he had called had the size he required.

Ariel took the stairs two at a time, hitting play on the Leonard Cohen Greatest Hits album he had found. Every colored light in the house was perfectly synched. The final touch was a single wood wick candle on the end of the kitchen counter.

Italian appetizers and entrees were then taken out of each plastic bag and container. This was how he would be found when Rohan finally knocked on his door.

Rohan: {Text} I can’t hear your voice and pack at the same time, I’ll get distracted!

There wasn’t much to pack but even so. He wanted to hurry and squeeze in every possible second that he could with Ariel before it came time for him to go back home.

He once again availed himself of Xavier’s car service to take him back to Ariel’s loft, grinning from the moment he got in the car until the moment he walked into the building, got into the elevator, and arrived at Ariel’s door.

Upon opening it, his DJ would find him standing there with that same grin and his bag. He was once again in a suit, a dark blue one this time, and had once again forgone the tie.

“I’m back. Miss me?”

Ariel: {Text} You're gonna hear a lot more than talking baby

The soft eyes that met Rohan at the door instantly became playful, with a grin to match. How could he not, with Rohan looking at him like that, looking like that?

The bag was taken from Rohan's hand and placed by the bar station. His boyfriend gently guided by his jaw into a kiss.

Rohan: Rohan wrapped his arms around his boyfriend and felt his whole body sigh in pleasure. This was what he’d been looking forward to all day.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” he said, nuzzling Ariel.

Ariel: Arms came to rest around Rohan's waist. He wanted to do ten things at once. None of which included letting Rohan loose. But alas, dinner was not quite finished yet.

"Mhm. So, like," he looked towards the kitchen counter, "I got a lot of seafood. I mean a lot," he laughed.

Rohan: He peered around Ariel and laughed. That was better than anything he’d been imagining for dinner.

“Perfect. I’ve been walking around all day and I’m starving. What did you get?”

Ariel: His concern was immediate and evident. "You didn't eat lunch?"

Rohan: “I did but it was a lunch meeting with a very annoying man who made me lose my appetite.”

Ariel: A soft squint. "Kay." Keeping a hand on Rohan's hip, he was led the few feet to the kitchen.

"So I didn't know what you'd really like so I got a bunch of shit. I got - okay I don't speak Italian so - I got this tag-y-ah-tell thing with grilled octopus and squid ink. Oh! I got crab and branzino cakes. Got a linguine with clams and scallops."

Rohan: Ariel had earned himself a kiss. In fact, he’d earned himself several, and Rohan wasn’t letting him up for air until both their lungs were screaming.

Ariel: The longer they kissed the smaller Ariel became. His hands traveled from Rohan's waist to his chest and eventually around his shoulders. Hungry kisses meant subtle offerings of his tongue, mouth soft and willing for invasion.

Rohan: It was the simplest thing. Ariel hadn’t known what he liked so he’d gotten lots of things. It was the simplest thing but the thoughtfulness and consideration behind the gesture had hit Rohan in a way he hadn’t been expecting.

Kissing his boyfriend and tasting him and holding him close had been the only response that felt right.

Rohan sighed softly and rested their foreheads together. “Thank you.”

Ariel: Those words carried an unexpected weight. This meant more than simple gratitude for being fed, but the why was eluding him.

"Long day?" he asked, eyes open to catch his gaze.

Rohan: Rohan’s eyes were tired but full of warmth and affection for the man in his arms. To think that a day ago he’d had no idea that Ariel existed.

“It was but it’s over now. Let’s have dinner and listen to Leonard Cohen.”

Ariel: "Yeah. You need to eat." Just needed to peel himself off and look for the forks.

"That guy hit on your or something?"

Rohan: “No, nothing like that. He spent the whole meeting talking about his yacht and the house he’s building and himself. I almost wish I’d let Rossmara stab him with his salad fork.”

Ariel: There was money and then there was stupid money. Ariel just didn't know where that line was drawn. He didn't have to live in this loft. He didn't have to be without a car. If someone told him they were going Tomorrowland in Germany next week he wouldn't break out in a sweat. Was that stupid money?

A yacht seemed on that line - maybe it was just the asshole that owned it.

"Dracula coulda just flexed on that car."

Rohan: “He doesn’t really do that. He’s a lot pettier. If the man we had lunch with told him he had his eye on a piece of art or something really rare and hard to find, Rossmara would swoop in and buy it first just so they couldn’t have it.” And Xavier had done that. Multiple times to multiple people.

Ariel: "Wow. What an asshole," he laughed.

Rohan: Rohan smiled. “Like I said, petty as can be. He didn’t get to stab our lunch companion but I’m sure he’ll find some other way to get back at him for spoiling the meal.”

Ariel: Well, now it was dinnertime, and his Drac-o-meter was already almost full. He supposed the man came with the whole package deal. That was fine, but in moderation.

"Well, pick whatever you want. I kinda want just a bite of everything."

Rohan: “I do, too, actually. It all looks good.”

But first he was getting out of his suit jacket and rolling up his sleeves so he’d be more comfortable.

Ariel: Ariel made his way over to the other side of the counter, sitting on his knees on the barstool.

"You can take your shoes off, too. If you want."

Rohan: “Shoes are fine but I was tired of the jacket. Not used to wearing a suit multiple days in a row.”

He took his seat across from Ariel and smiled. “Tell me about your day.”

Ariel: Did he have a problem with shoes in the house? No, but until they were off Rohan's feet he wouldn't look completely relaxed. Maybe it was a country thing. Was Spokane really a city? He'd never been. He'd now seen Rohan in two different suits and the image of who he really was or wasn't just wasn't yet clear.

He was just staring off at his cabinets, getting lost in his own thoughts.

"Made some music. Threw some music out. Been like two years since my last album so, like, I feel like I'm behind. But like, Tiësto had six years from his longest - I dunno. I tell myself I can't compare myself to Tiësto, or Alison, or Aoki or anyone, but I still do it. But yeah. Made some progress with that. Got to talk to you. Got groceries, went to the gym, more music..."

Rohan: “We’re our own worst critics. There’s no deadline when you’re creating something unless you’re doing it for someone other than yourself.” Rohan took a bite of the tagliatelle and hummed.

“I’m not a musician so take this how you will, but I think you’d be more satisfied releasing something you’re really proud of instead of something you released just because you felt you had to in order to ‘catch up’.”

Ariel: "I try to keep it real. I really love the first single I ever made. First remix I ever put out still makes me happy. But now I'm just thinking I got 3.8 million reasons to move my ass."

His fork was dug into the branzino cake but remained.

"It's college all over again. The shit I told you. Like, it ain't the same but it is. Thinking about other people."

Rohan: “The first person you create for is yourself. Art is a selfish thing, no matter the medium.” Rohan didn’t know how much weight his words carried but at this point in his life, he thought he’d gathered enough knowledge to know that much, even if he wasn’t an artist.

He reached over and squeezed Ariel’s hand. “Don’t focus on other people and what they’re doing. You’ll drive yourself crazy if you do.”

Ariel: An artist's advice weighed heavier than that of anyone else, but he found himself staring at Rohan and actively listening. He understood he meant well, and that carried him further.

He finally took a bite of the fish cake and sighed.

"Still wanna be with me?" he smiled.

Rohan: "Of course I do." He sampled the linguine, shaking his head fondly at Ariel. "How frequently you release music has nothing to do with why I like you."

Rohan reached over and petted his DJ's hair. "Don't think too much."

Ariel: The branzino was given a tap and a nod. You should try that, in Ariel speak.

"Not that," but he smiled just the same. "Like... that's me. That's what I do. I either don't think or I think a lot."

Rohan: “We all overthink. It’s a very human thing to do. I’m not going to not like you or hold it against you one way or the other. You don’t have to be anything but who you are with me.”

Ariel: "You got anything you'd be like," he made an X with his arms. "Cookies in bed. Talk with your mouth full. Fuckboy."

Rohan: Rohan nodded as he tried the branzino. “I do. Being rude to waiters and custodians.”

Ariel: A gasp. "I love Rachel!" he laughed.

Rohan: Rohan chuckled and shook his head. “I know you do, it’s obvious. And actually, seeing how much you do made me like you more.”

Ariel: He gave his own consideration of hard limits. "People being dicks to kids. Like okay, some kids are fucking assholes, but don't hate em before you know em."

Rohan: “People forget that children are still learning how to be people, or even that they are people. They’re just smaller. They deserve kindness and grace.”

Ariel: Ariel just smiled that big loving smile as Rohan spoke. A look in his eyes that could be interpreted as 'that's my man.'

Rohan: “What?” he chuckled. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

Ariel: "Hm?" His smile just grew. "Come here, baby."

Rohan: “How much closer do you want me to be?” Rohan leaned over the counter. “This close?”

Ariel: That was close enough to steal a kiss. Not at all chaste.

Rohan: Rohan grinned into it. He didn’t know what he’d said but something had obviously struck a chord.

“What was that for?”

Ariel: "Can't I kiss you for being sweet?"

Rohan: "You can kiss me as much as you want for any reason you please."

Ariel: "Won't even need to make up reasons," said through his smile.

Rohan: Now it was Rohan who was fixing Ariel with an adoring look and pulling him in for a kiss. What machinations of fate had landed this precious man in his life?

"Eat your dinner. And try the tagliatelle, it's good."

Ariel: As Rohan would quickly learn, very few of his kisses were actually closed-lips and brief. Kisses were a hungry act, meant to appease his sense of taste.

"Yeah?" Ariel leaned over for a forkful before remembering -

"Fuck. You want a plate?" he laughed.

Rohan: That was just fine by Rohan. They could save chaste kisses for cheeks and foreheads.

"No, this is fine," he chuckled. "Why dirty dishes when we don't have to?"

Ariel: "This is kinda romantic, I guess?" His laugh was just for show. A kind of question in his eyes, waiting for Rohan to confirm otherwise. He liked it, but what Rohan thought dictated whether he actually got up to grab those plates.

Rohan: "It is. Eating seafood pasta with Leonard Cohen in the background in an apartment with colored light." He wound some of the tagliatelle around his fork and held it up to Ariel's lips.

Ariel: "Now that's fucking romantic." And he would take the bite without taking the fork. Now he would give Rohan a chaste kiss. Right on his forehead.

"Want something to drink?"

Rohan: "Sure," said Rohan, using food as an excuse to duck his head so Ariel wouldn't see how utterly melted he was by that forehead kiss. And he was the romantic one, really?

Ariel: The fact that Rohan had allowed him that simple bit of affection did more for Ariel than he would realize. Like holding hands, no man had ever desired or appreciated that before.

The ghoul was smiling to himself as he faced the fridge, having to cough to compose himself.

"Water, Red Bull, uh, White Claw?"

Rohan: Well, at least he wasn’t the only one feeling a little flustered.

Red Bull didn’t really go with pasta and White Claw was basically water with alcohol, which left one superior choice.

“Water, please.”

Ariel: "Right. You like wine." A bottle of water was given. "We can go get some if you want."

Rohan: “Thank you. Like is a strong word. I can drink it and enjoy it and appreciate it but if there’s another option, I usually go with that.”

Ariel: "So you're saying you don't want wine with dessert?" He laughed.

Rohan: “I’d rather have coffee with dessert. And you.”

Ariel: To stay awake longer? Right. This was their last night. Last night until when? Was this really going to last beyond today?

He didn't need to think about that. Instead he forced a smile. "I got instant. And uh, chocolate syrup. Some other stuff. Gotta wait til after dinner."

Rohan: Rohan studied Ariel for a moment and reached across the counter for his hand, smiling gently.

“I can wait. We’re assuming that we’re still going to want dessert after tackling this feast.”

Ariel: "Oh, no. We're saving room! I got something special. No rush." Ah, this hand again. Brought to his lips without hesitation this time.

Rohan: He smiled. “Oh yeah? Am I allowed to know what it is or is it a surprise?”

Ariel: Rohan was given a squint. "I've got strawberries, whipped cream..." Was any of this leading somewhere?

Rohan: There were two very, very different directions his brain wanted to go, but only one of them actually required saving some room after dinner.

“Ffffrench toast?”

Ariel: "We can have that, too." His smile was as unwavering as his gaze. "If you're okay with it. You know. If not, it's cool."

Rohan: Rohan fixed Ariel with a steady look that seemed to roam the whole of him that was visible.

“I seem to recall something about chocolate syrup as well.”

Ariel: His eyes cautiously lit, biting into the flesh of his bottom lip. "Mhm. You want that, baby?"

Rohan: “I have a sweet tooth,” he said with a grin.

Ariel: "We're keeping everything on the table? Honesty, I mean."

Rohan: “Of course. All cards on the table.” That was the way it should be.

Ariel: "You want chocolate sauce on me?"

Rohan: Rohan nodded and took a long sip of water. “I really do.”

Ariel: "What else you wanna do to me?"

Rohan: He smiled. “Oh, this and that.”

Ariel: Rohan was just full of firsts. Hand holding, commitments, sweetness - in more ways than one. He was so unique and somehow so familiar. That feeling he'd always known this man while knowing nothing about him just wouldn't shake.

"Yeah?" Ariel had leaned in by now, brushing his nose along Rohan's jaw. "Tell me, baby, please."

Rohan: He wouldn’t lean away, but Rohan wouldn’t lean in either. He was going to stay perfectly still and pet Ariel without giving him exactly what he wanted.

“There’s a lot of you I haven’t kissed yet. I can’t just let that stand.”

Ariel: His eyes finally closed, leaning his cheek against Rohan's face like a cat.

"Yeah? Want some dessert now?"

Rohan: “Dessert comes after dinner and someone has hardly eaten.” Maybe just a little kiss on the cheek.

“Naughty boys don’t get rewards,” he murmured.

Ariel: Rohan knew just what to say to send a visible shiver down Ariel's spine. Who would have thought.

"I'm not hungry for that."

Rohan: “Three more bites and we can have dessert. Can you do that for me?”

Ariel: "Oh come on. I'm not five." But he was laughing just the same, leaning back to finish off the crab cake. There! A crab cake and a half! Washed down with a glass of forgotten water.

Rohan: “As I’m sure you’re aware, we still have to eat past the age of five.”

Oh no, Ariel wasn’t getting off that easy. He was getting offered a bite of linguine.

Ariel: One of them clearly had a stronger sex drive than the other, or, he was beginning to suspect, Rohan just enjoyed tormenting him. Either way, with a soft sigh and playful glare, he took another bite from his boyfriend's fork.

Rohan: Maybe Rohan did enjoy teasing Ariel just a little bit. One of the many benefits of being a patient person was situations exactly like this one, where one of them was raring to go and the other was happy to take their time.

“Good boy,” he said, pecking Ariel’s cheek before offering another bite.

Ariel: Ariel refused to shiver at being called a good boy. He couldn't give everything away at once! He did, however, bite his lip without meaning to. So much for keeping his feelings to himself.

But he took another bite and waved his hand. He was simply too excited to eat and didn't like feeling full during sexual hours.

Another gulp of water to wash the taste away, and he was standing behind his man, hands sliding over Rohan's ribs as he began kissing the back of his neck.

Rohan: Combined with the branzino, Ariel had technically taken the three bites Rohan had asked for. His DJ still hadn’t eaten very much but Rohan was satisfied.

He laughed softly as Ariel came up behind him, turning to nuzzle his hair. “So impatient. Missed me that much, hm?”

Ariel: "Something like that." It was exactly that. That and more. Had to get his touches in before this man disappeared from his life. As quickly as they had come to trust one another, a part of him still expected to never see this man again. The part of him that had been conditioned to believe he was nothing more than a fuck buddy for every other man with lust in their eyes.

Kisses trailed up from the back of Rohan's neck to his ear. The tip of his tongue made a slow circle inwards.

Rohan: Rohan heaved a long, deep sigh, humming contentedly. This had been worth the wait and the long day, and it was just the beginning.

“I think you better grab those strawberries and that whipped cream and chocolate. I am going to eat you up.”

Ariel: Would Rohan hear the giddiness in Ariel's voice as he said, "Yeah?" offering another kiss to Rohan's throat before pulling away to the fridge. He didn't have a clue what they would be doing with the strawberries, but he knew exactly what he intended for the other items. Both chocolate and whipped cream were placed on the counter. The box of strawberries, wrapped in neat red ribbon, was last.

"Upstairs?"

Rohan: It was impossible not to and Rohan was so endeared by it, it made him want to kiss this man senseless.

Soon.

He grabbed their dessert and nodded. “Mhm, upstairs so we’re comfortable. Come on, sweet boy.”

Ariel: Then he would carry the strawberries. But first, a change in music. Some chillstep in the background. Music like Cohen, such serious lyrics would be a distraction. Besides, he wanted to set the mood. All lights were turned low, allowed to transition between shades of blue and purple.

Rohan was followed up the stairs. A large hand sliding over the witch's hip as they ascended.

Rohan: Rohan smiled to himself at the intimate, familiar gesture. He and Ariel already seemed to be more comfortable around each other than most people would be in their position and little things like that were why.

He set the whipped cream and chocolate on the bedside table and turned to face his DJ.

“Am I undressing myself or are you undressing me?”

Ariel: The strawberries were placed at the foot of the bed. Tunnel vision was setting in, wanting to keep a hand on Rohan at all times, wanting to see his bare skin again. Wanting to taste between his thighs.

First things first.

"I'll undress you, baby," he managed to say before stealing kisses.

Rohan: And I’ll undress you, Rohan added silently, letting Ariel guide their kiss.

The space between them was only out of necessity; as soon as they succeeded in getting each other’s shirts unbuttoned, Rohan would pull his boyfriend close and let his hands begin to wander like they ached to do.

Ariel: His skin was warm to the touch. Sensitive, evident in his soft gasp in Rohan's mouth. He could hardly think straight or control the sway of his hips; all thoughts were devoted to the feeling of soft skin beneath his fingertips.

"Why you so pale, country boy?" He was beginning to question if Rohan really did wear anything other than a suit. Had to explain the contrast in their skin. Even as a ghoul he was visibly shades warmer. He didn't care. He loved it. Loved it because it was Rohan. He hunched over just to plant kisses along his lover's collarbone.

Rohan: Rohan just smiled, tormenting himself by easing Ariel’s shirt off his shoulders slowly so he could give every inch of exposed skin the attention it deserved.

“I’m Eastern European, we’re all pale.” Because he could, and because Ariel’s position gave him the opportunity, Rohan kissed his DJ’s head and breathed in the scent of his hair. The way it washed over his senses made him ache.

His hands traveled down to the waistline of Ariel’s pants and got to work undoing his belt.

Ariel: There were some lovers for whom closed eyes were necessary. Less than attractive orgasmic faces and unseemly tattoos. The rare one-off of an unenthusiastic man looking for a quick fix. A scalding shower had been needed after him.

None of that was on his mind. He didn't want to shut his eyes. He never wanted to blink and miss a single breath. Just the way Rohan admired him gave him butterflies. He felt seen.

Their shirts tossed away, Ariel waited his turn to finish stripping his boyfriend down. In the meantime, he got to enjoy a bit of a power play, being the first naked. He watched Rohan with a gently bitten lip, eager for his next move.

Rohan: The last time leaving Ariel almost fully clothed had been as enjoyable as it had been intentional but this time was different.

Rohan wanted to see and taste and touch all of his boyfriend. He didn’t want there to be a single part of Ariel’s body left unexplored and unloved and unknown to him.

Rohan backed Ariel slowly toward the bed, silently encouraging him to lay back with soft, languid kisses and gentle but insistent hands.

Ariel: Ariel might as well have been his obedient and loving slave. The adoring look in his eyes remained with every step, falling back onto the mattress, he used his forearms to bring himself center, never once looking away.

Every freckle, scar, and tattoo, every dip and hill caused by shadow, everything for Rohan to study, admire, and memorize. Everything Ariel was doing in kind.

Rohan: He was a work of art. There was no other way to put it, no other way to see Ariel that would possibly do him justice. He was a masterpiece.

One that deserved to be touched with reverence and care.

Rohan sighed happily and reached for the box of strawberries, making a show of untying the ribbon while he grinned down at his boyfriend.

As soon as Rohan got the box open, he would place one of the strawberries in his mouth and lean back within kissing range for Ariel to bite it.

Ariel: Ariel wondered Rohan's exact thoughts when he looked at him for so long without a single word. To ask would have broken the spell, but the thought was tucked away for later.

He knew what he felt when he looked at Rohan's pale immaculate skin. Wanting to run his fingers over each and every freckle, creating his own secret trail.

But his hands were occupied holding himself up as he carefully bit at his offering, giggling all the while.

Rohan: A man who looked like a living breathing Greek statue had no business having such an adorable giggle. Hearing it made Rohan want to kiss the life out of him and lay the world at his feet.

The latter was impossible, but the former? That was easily achieved.

His DJ would have sticky sweet strawberry kisses, and if they made a mess, Rohan was cleaning it up with even more kisses.

Ariel: Airy laughter became surprised little noises. The sweetness of their kisses and Rohan's half-dressed state was doing something to his mind. He felt smaller beneath Rohan's gentle frame, and he felt safe enough to collapse back on his sheets, freeing his hands to carefully explore from his ribs to his shoulders.

"You taste good," he smiled.

Rohan: "Mmm, so do you." Because it would allow Ariel to finish undressing him, and just because he wanted to, Rohan put himself in easy reach of his boyfriend's hands, affectionately looming over him and kissing along his neck and his jaw.

He was debating another strawberry but what Rohan really wanted to get his lips and his hands all over Ariel so the real question was:

Should he start with the chocolate or the whipped cream?

Ariel: With Rohan better positioned on the bed, Ariel's fingers descended, determined to remove his belt and hear those satisfying pops with every loop.

Even unbuttoned and unzipped, all he could do was pull those pants to his knees. Sitting up was out of the question under Rohan's roaming gaze. On his back he remained, submissive eyes watching and waiting.

Rohan: That sweet gaze made the decision for him.

Rohan kissed the corner of Ariel's mouth and helped him sit up so he could finish getting his pants off, which also conveniently allowed Rohan to grab the chocolate sauce from the bedside table. Two birds, one stone.

The moment he was fully nude, Rohan would be drizzling chocolate across Ariel's collar bone and shoulder and licking it off.

Ariel: Being forced to sit up offered another opportunity. Heavy gray pillows were just getting in the way and were tossed off the bed entirely.

"Thought you were a whipped cream kinda guy." His chest caved in a silent laugh, expression light and intrigued at the first drip of chocolate. His laugh now at the sensation.

"Fuck, baby, that's hot." Taking in everything at once was damn near overwhelming.

Rohan: “Oh, I am.” Rohan absolutely couldn’t stop his grin or the joke that followed it. “I swing both ways.”

The night was long; there would be plenty of time for him to indulge every single aspect of his sweet tooth.

Only when Rohan had gotten every last drop of the chocolate did he gently push Ariel onto his back again. That chest of his was in need of affection and Rohan was in need of giving it.

A suspiciously large amount of chocolate would be drizzled onto each of Ariel’s nipples in turn and Rohan would take his sweet time licking it off.

Ariel: "Ha!" As much as he found this funny, his laughter was short and sweet as he was pushed back onto the mattress. He couldn't look away. What a surprise, his cheeks and neck had pinked. This man was so different and so erotic. Never in a hundred years would he have expected such bold, dominating behavior from a man like Rohan. He was in love, and told himself again and again it was lust. It was just lust. But lust didn't have him asking for a commitment in less than 24 hours. He didn't know what this madness was.

"Baby," he breathed, reaching between his legs to squeeze his hardening cock, "holy shit."

Rohan: Rohan knew that a man like him, a man who tended to be quiet and modest and serious, wasn't expected to be bold in any aspect of his life. But Rohan was a man who'd had decades to learn to trust himself and become comfortable with his sexuality. He felt no doubt, only amazement that he could come to this point so quickly with someone he'd known for so little.

What was never in question, however, was just how much he wanted Ariel.

He hummed contentedly, smiling down at his DJ as he reached for another strawberry. It was time for a palette cleanser.

This time, the strawberry was held to Ariel's lips.

Ariel: He took only a nibble of the strawberry, looking down at himself in amusement. Already he was feeling sticky. They might just get that shower together after all.

"How far - ah!" Some chocolate had made an escape down to his ribs. "Get it get it!"

Rohan: He used the strawberry to catch the errant drip of chocolate, humming again as he took a bite of it. He couldn't recall ever enjoying a dessert more.

"How far what?" he asked, looking Ariel over as he tried to decide which part of him to sample next.

Ariel: "Ahhh!" Rohan was a villain! The strawberry was still cold from the fridge! The goosebumps were instant.

"I uh," he laughed, "forgot what I was gonna say." He collapsed back and stretched, arms remaining overhead.

Rohan: Rohan laughed, offering an apology kiss. He wasn't really all that sorry though. Ariel was so cute.

But those arms of his...they hadn't been given the proper attention yet. They looked like they could use some whipped cream and kisses from fingertips to shoulders.

Ariel: Oh? Ariel adjusted his arm for this tender treatment. His eyes softened as he watched. Even this? Why did Rohan take him by surprise again and again?

"Kiss me," sounded more like a beg.

Rohan: Ariel's plea was Rohan's command. He'd been so sweet and so patient while Rohan indulged himself, he deserved a reward. And if the reward he wanted was a kiss, that's exactly what he was going to get. A kiss.

Deep and heated and tasting like whipped cream and chocolate and strawberries.

Ariel: The moment he captured those lips was the same moment he pulled Rohan directly on top, wrapping his legs around his hips and squeezing. This was the first time feeling Rohan's full weight against him. Their cocks rubbed together, and he couldn't help but throb and shudder.

"Not too fast?" he breathed.

Rohan: The moan was completely involuntary and not at all surprising. Ignoring his body's need was easy until it wasn't, and Ariel certainly didn't make it easy with the way he wrapped himself around Rohan.

He shook his head as his lips traveled down his boyfriend's neck.

"Not too fast," he whispered back, grinding down just a bit.

Ariel: Then his legs would remain wrapped. Rolling his hips again in the hopes of catching one of those moans in his mouth. His hands returned above his head, leaving himself vulnerable to exploration.

Rohan: He would. Many of them. Ariel had left himself open to exploration but right now, all Rohan wanted to do was kiss him and hold him as close as possible.

His hands wandered, but only a bit. Only enough to caress his boyfriend's sides, to feel the shape of him. The last time he'd left Ariel's clothes on and denied himself this pleasure but tonight was different. Tonight Rohan wanted to feel all of him that he could.

Ariel: They were moving both at the speed of sound and as carefree as a snail. With every grind, his soft little noises were growing longer and more desperate. There was a plead in those sounds, forced out after drinking in a gulp of air.

"Fuck me, please."

Rohan: Every single little sound Ariel made went directly between Rohan’s legs and made him throb that much more intensely. This man was the most beautifully exquisite torment he’d ever met.

In that moment, Rohan would’ve given him anything.

He nodded and pressed his lips to Ariel’s forehead.

“Condom,” he panted. “Where?”

Ariel: There was something different about the way Rohan kissed than any other man. Not every kiss was sexual. He didn't know how to describe it in his carnally drunk brain, but it was the same energy as his grandfather kissing him goodnight. Any other man and he would have pushed them away, made a face, but he wouldn't dare with Rohan.

Deep down, he knew, just knew it was for Rohan. He needed that, and he wouldn't deny him those kisses, those cheek pinches. They made Rohan happy, and he was special to receive them.

"Drawer," he pointed to the floating bedside table.

Rohan: Had Rohan known that Ariel had already come to understand this aspect of his personality at such a level, he would’ve been moved beyond words. There were precious few in his life who could say the same and even fewer who had realized it so quickly.

Was it any wonder he was so drawn to this man?

Rohan had to—very reluctantly—dislodge Ariel’s legs from around his waist in order to reach the drawer and get what they needed, but the separation wouldn’t be long. Within moments he would be back within Ariel’s reach, denying him touch only for as long as it took to get the condom open and on.

Ariel: Ariel sat up on his elbows to watch. Not yet fully aroused, turgid, aching, and heavy on his thigh. It was Rohan rolling a dark purple condom over his length that finished him, reaching between his legs to stroke himself, teasing his fingertips over his scrotum.

Why was that so hot?

Rohan: A slow smile spread across Rohan’s face at Ariel’s impatience. Apparently he was having a greater effect than he’d anticipated.

“Can’t wait, hm?” He reached to retrieve one of the pillows. “Lift your hips for me, sweet boy.” Because having Ariel be even remotely uncomfortable was not an option.

As was leaving him without kisses for even one second longer.

Ariel: Without a word, Ariel obeyed. His lip softly bitten, lust behind his golden eyes. He raised his hips and continued his lazy strokes. A calm had washed over him from nowhere. He grabbed at his scrotum and lifted, presenting himself for his boyfriend's viewing pleasure before being kissed. Everything was for him. His lips, his ass, his tongue, even his breath.

Rohan: If it was all for him, then Rohan was going to relish it the way he relished things; thoroughly and with absolute care.

He hadn’t gotten his fill of tasting his boyfriend’s body by a long shot but the night was long and they’d have a shower waiting for them later. He had plenty of time.

Plenty of time to capture Ariel’s lips and let his weight settle over him, plenty of time to caress that beautiful body and deepen their kiss as he eased himself inside and felt Ariel’s heat envelop him inch by agonizingly slow inch.

Ariel: Rohan had no idea how pleased Ariel was, finally finding a man as devoted to kissing as he was. These were not the sweet little kisses from downstairs. Offerings of his tongue now followed gentle little noises.

He realized the reason for his calm the moment Rohan pushed forward. This was all too surreal. There was no way the man from last night he had dined and danced with was the same man he called his own now. The same man kissing him within an inch of his life as he gave every inch he owned.

"Oh, fuck," was just a broken whimper of pleasure.

He didn't know what to do with his hands, so he lost them in Rohan's hair.

Rohan: Rohan wouldn’t object. Whatever Ariel wanted to do with his hands was just fine by him so long as they stayed as close as possible because even now, Rohan could still hardly believe he’d found this man. Not only that he’d found him, but that he got to have this man, to pleasure him, to touch him, to kiss him.

To be wanted by him.

Rohan sighed in absolute contentment as he sank to the base, resting his forehead against Ariel’s for a bit while he let that initial wave of desperation pass him over.

“You feel so good,” he whispered, slowly beginning to move. “So good, sweet boy.”

Ariel: Such a benign statement to cause so many butterflies. This was lust. This was just lust.

He wouldn't call himself a desperate man. Not touch starved or needy. Hungry, always. What he had was a good life. But with Rohan's warmth enveloping him, he felt something had been missing. Something he couldn't describe as anything other than this.

"You're so deep," he breathed. Said with the same emphasis as a declaration of love.

He must have been projecting, because he could swear he heard the same from Rohan.

Rohan: Maybe he had. Projecting or not, maybe Ariel had heard an underlying something in Rohan's words that maybe Rohan didn't even realize was there. A fondness that went beyond this moment and the haze of desire and need that was shrouding them both and only seemed to be growing more intense with every thrust.

To Rohan, that haze was a safety net, a way for him to give his boyfriend exactly as much affection as he pleased without having to qualify or explain it. It was only the haze that added sweetness to his kisses, only the haze that had him cooing praise in Ariel's ear, only the haze that was making him touch Ariel with such tenderness even as he drove him toward his peak.

Not anything else, not this soon. Only the haze.

Ariel: Ariel felt himself flying somewhere dangerously high. With every other thrust, his words became broken, astonished, and fluttery.

"Oh my God," became his mantra, forgetting to touch himself. Fingers pressed into Rohan's chest, wanting to look at as much of his body as he could. As much as he enjoyed those sweet little nothings it was all he could allow himself to believe. He was a selfish man, and wanted nothing more than to admire the nuance of Rohan's skin. Every flex of muscle. The way his hair fell over his eyes. Even his breath as he neared that drawing cliff.

"Baby," he didn't mean to whimper, "I'm so close."

Rohan: Rohan obeyed the silent command of those hands, straightening enough for Ariel to look his fill while Rohan moved in and out of his body.

Despite his building orgasm, everything about Rohan was relaxed. His muscles flexed only with his movements and not with tension. Sweat had plastered his hair to his temples and made his skin feel sticky where it combined with the lingering sweetness from Ariel’s skin but he didn’t feel the discomfort of it. His gaze remained soft and fixed on Ariel’s face and his smile?

Pure adoration for the man whimpering beneath him.

“You sound so sweet,” Rohan murmured, sliding one of his hands from Ariel’s chest all the way down to his shaft and stroking with just enough friction to be maddening.

“So cute. You’ve been patient all day, haven’t you? You can let go, beautiful boy. You don’t have to be patient anymore. Just let go.”

Ariel: How many times would Rohan manage to surprise him like this? Just another sweet nothing, he told himself. Just something utterly uniquely Ro, calling his noises and nonsense sweet. Along with those kisses, those pinches, and that ridiculous smile.

Goosebumps followed in the wake of Rohan's fingers. His cock warm and slick in his grip.

It was then he began to writhe, unable to control his body and the desperate need for more. For something. But Lord help him, not the end of it.

His hands fell into his own hair, barely shaking his head.

"Mnn, I want you to come, baby."

Rohan: Rohan just hummed and leaned over Ariel again, leaving enough space between them to continue to stroke in time with his thrusts but not speeding or slowing his rhythm.

There was no need to rush, he thought as he took his boyfriend’s lips and stole his breath with a kiss. At the pace they were going, they wouldn’t last much longer anyway.

Ariel: The witch made an animal of his ghoul, stealing his breath like that. So concentrated on giving perfect kisses and offering his tongue, the staggering sensation of heat and friction nearly struck him dumb. Unable to form coherent words other than a mumbled warning.

"Gonna come." One word stumbling over the other. Head pressed hard into the mattress, thighs quivering and toes curling, tightening around Rohan's buried cock.

Golden eyes opened wide and his hips began to rut.

"Don't stop! Oh, please come!"

Rohan: Rohan wouldn’t have been able to stop even if he’d wanted to. Getting to witness Ariel’s release, getting to feel it in every part of his body was simply too much to fight against.

He gloriously lost his grip on his self-control and went tumbling off that edge after Ariel, burying his face in his boyfriend’s neck and holding him tight as he surrendered to the free fall.

Ariel: Their world had become small. The only man that existed was in his arms, as sweaty and messy as he. There would be no hiding his face. Ariel could do nothing but kiss this man, forgoing the need to breathe for just one more second just to feel those moans in his mouth. This was his one demand where he would beg for everything else.

Rohan: Any moans would be far too quiet for his boyfriend to really feel but Rohan would indulge him anyway.

Who was he to argue if his body decided being devoured by Ariel was more important than breathing? If he passed out from a lack of oxygen, then he’d pass out a happy man.

Ariel: Sex like this could drive a man insane. Let words slip he didn't mean because for two seconds he truly believed them. Words he wouldn't dare say because there was absolutely no sense in them. No way they could be real.

But he would nuzzle, taken in by Rohan's silence, blissful and exhausted, shivering and shuddering at the feeling of still being filled. He wouldn't encourage Rohan to break free. They could stay like this a while longer. He didn't even mind the heat.

Rohan: This position did nothing to help Rohan's need to take in great lungfuls of air but he didn't care. He'd settle for catching his breath more slowly if it meant he got to spend a little longer laying with Ariel like this.

There was something beautiful about being completely part of someone and having them be completely part of you and if he only got it for a moment, then Rohan wanted that moment to last. Not because he feared he'd never get another but because it had been a long time since he had, and he'd been aching for it.

Still, he'd indulged himself enough this evening. He'd gotten his cake and miraculously he'd gotten to eat it. Time to float back down to earth.

He eased himself out of Ariel and smiled down at him, nuzzling his cheek. "You okay, sweet boy?"

Ariel: Those endearing words again. Ariel just quietly laughed, just managing a nod. His fingers remained in his hair, eyes closed.

"I'm perfect."

But then, he had to know, "You okay?"

Rohan: “I’m good.”

Rohan rolled onto his back and took a deep breath. They needed a shower but summoning the energy to get up and do it seemed like an insurmountable task at the moment. Besides, he didn’t think either one of them could hold themselves up just yet.

“Don’t fall asleep.”

Ariel: "Why not? Did it last night," Ariel smiled. He was about there, and now with cool air kissing his skin, his arms stretched over his head. The perfect sleeping position.

Rohan: “We’re all sticky and sweaty,” he chuckled. “We need a shower before we can sleep.”

Ariel: "Mmmmm, goodnight," he fought to keep his expression neutral, pretending to sleep.

Rohan: Rohan sighed dramatically and made to get up. “What a shame. I guess I’ll just have to go shower all by myself.”

Ariel: "Mmmmm, good morning!" That has him hauling himself to his feet with a sigh of his own. One much more satisfying and pleased.

Rohan: Rohan laughed as he headed into the bathroom.

“Now how did I know that would work?”

Ariel: Arms wrapped around him from behind, gently squeezing as he looked at their figures in the mirror. Again with that surreal chill sweeping over his entire body like walking through a cold spot. He just had to kiss that neck and watch himself while he did it.

Rohan: He smiled at their reflections and turned to kiss Ariel’s head. His boyfriend might have felt a chill but Rohan just felt pleasantly warm all over. He hoped it would last.

If Ariel wasn’t inclined to let him go, Rohan was just going to pull him along to start the shower.

Ariel: He kinda loved the fact that Rohan never asked permission to shower. Never asked for anything. He made himself at home and that was the way Ariel wanted it.

A hand lingered on Rohan's spine.

"You actually tired or wanna do something after this?"

Rohan: This morning when he’d woken before Ariel had set a precedent for how Rohan navigated his home. That and the fact that they’d entered into a relationship.

“I am tired but in a good way.” Once the water had warmed, he guided the two of them in. “What about you?”

Ariel: "I could go dancing," he smiled. He held onto Rohan's hand until he was under the water, closing the glass door behind them.

"Or eat - forgot we've got food."

Rohan: “We do. Feeling hungry? You didn’t really eat all that much earlier.”

Rohan stepped under the spray and sighed contentedly.

Ariel: "I don't," he smiled and looked away, grabbing the shampoo, "don't like sex on a full stomach."

Rohan: Rohan smiled back. “And now? Did you work up an appetite?”

Ariel: "Oh yeah," he grinned. "Starving!" As much as he wanted to wrap his arms around Rohan from behind, it could wait just a minute longer.

"Want me to... ?" Starting to get a beat on what Rohan enjoyed.

Rohan: “Then we’ll eat.”

Rohan kissed his boyfriend’s cheek and reached for the shampoo bottle.

“You wash my hair and I wash yours?”

Ariel: Ah. Ah. The bottle was raised over his head. "Then you gotta let me wash," he laughed.

Rohan: “We can wash at the same time!”

Ariel: "What?" he laughed again. "How's that work?"

Rohan: “By facing each other.” Ariel wasn’t that much taller than he was, it could work.

Ariel: The bottle was offered. "We do a lot I've never done before."

Rohan: “Am I the first person to want to wash your hair?” Rohan asked as he lathered shampoo in his hands.

Ariel: "And hold my hand, and pinch my cheek." A breath. "First boyfriend."

Rohan: As much as it hurt his heart to know that no man had ever shown this sweet man that type of physical affection, there was a part of Rohan that was glad to be the first.

“If I ever do something you don’t like, you have to tell me, okay?”

Ariel: "You worried about that?" Ariel's voice was soft, waiting for the right moment to lather the shampoo in his hand.

Rohan: Rohan shook his head. “I wouldn’t say I’m worried but it’s important for two people to be able to be frank with each other on that level, especially if they’re in a relationship. I don’t ever want you to feel uncomfortable around me.”

Ariel: "This because all of my firsts?" He made sure to pull Rohan's hair back, keeping soap from his eyes as he leaned in, stealing a kiss.

Rohan: He smiled and shook his head again. “I’d still be saying all this to you even if I was your hundredth boyfriend.”

Ariel: "I think you'll know if I don't like something."

Rohan: “Maybe, but in case I don’t, tell me. Please.”

Ariel: "I promise and you promise?" His arms came to rest around Rohan's waist.

Rohan: Rohan nodded. “I promise.”

Ariel: "I'm not worried, baby." Only one thing, and he didn't know how to bring it up, so he just said nothing.

Rohan: It was Rohan's turn to steal a kiss. "Okay." Despite the insecurity that kept wanting to rear its head, he chose to trust Ariel's words and his promise.

"Turn around so I can wash your back."

Ariel: He couldn't list every single thing in a shower no one had done before. Rinsing together wasn't the same as washing each other's back, washing each other's hair, and holding each other under the stream of hot water. Just not the same.

Both hands were placed on the cold tile, forehead falling with a gentle thump between.

Rohan: However many firsts Ariel ended up having with him, Rohan hoped they would all be memorable. Or if not memorable, then at least pleasant and enjoyable.

Even the little ones, like their shower.

He smiled at his boyfriend, wrapping his arms around him. “What are you thinking about?”

Ariel: Ariel just smiled, enjoying the fact that he knew, without looking, that Rohan was smiling.

"Wasn't thinking anything."

Rohan: Rohan rested his cheek against Ariel’s shoulder. “Just enjoying the moment?”

Ariel: "Yeah." After a few seconds, he turned, letting his arms rest on Rohan's shoulders. He didn't have to scrub his back; this was bliss all on its own.

Rohan: The smile Ariel had felt was still present when he turned to face Rohan, unspeakably soft and affectionate. If his boyfriend wanted to just enjoy the moment for a little while, then Rohan was happy to stand with him under the spray and just hold on to him.

Ariel: "You're tired, aren't you?" he whispered.

Rohan: He shook his head. “Not really. Just feel relaxed and happy.”

Ariel: "Lemme wash your back and we can eat."

Rohan: “Okay.” But he was going to give Ariel a squeeze first.

Ariel: This being his first time washing a man's back, he was going to take his time and enjoy. Not so obsessed as to count each and every freckle, but he was standing there admiring Rohan like a Renaissance painting.

"You're hot, baby."

Rohan: Had anyone ever called him hot before? Rohan couldn’t recall it happening but, not wanting to open the door to questions about exes during their nice shower, he simply chuckled and said, “Not as hot as you.”

Ariel: "This isn't a contest," he chuckled, leaning over to kiss Rohan's shoulder. "But you win," he whispered in his ear.

Rohan: He turned to nuzzle his DJ. “Agree to disagree.”

Ariel: That same modesty from before. Felt more than that, but he didn't want to push. No sense in it. He would just show him how he felt and maybe over time his confidence would bloom. He must have felt it, seen it just minutes ago in bed.

"All done?"

Rohan: Whether or not Rohan’s confidence would get a lasting boost was anyone’s guess but for now, knowing that Ariel was sincerely attracted to him was enough.

He nodded. “All done.” Maybe just one more quick rinse just to be safe.

Ariel: Ariel was happy to oblige, running his fingers through Rohan's hair one last time to check for suds.

"No going out tonight?" As awake as he was now, he was going to leave that option to Rohan.

Rohan: "Let's eat first and see how we feel." Even though the shower had successfully chased away the post-orgasm drowsiness, a meal could bring it right back at the drop of a hat.

Still, Rohan was loath to sleep. He didn't want to waste a single moment of the time he had left with Ariel.

Ariel: "Kay."

He would be first out of the shower, if only to grab Rohan's towel, which he had neatly folded and left in the hopes of his return. It had only been hours without him, but the gesture was still the same. To have tossed it with the rest of the dirty clothes would have been assuming he wasn't a man of his word.

"You like movies?"

Rohan: A gesture that didn’t go unnoticed by Rohan. It was only a towel but it was a small, hopeful indication of so much more than that.

He nodded as he toweled off his hair. “I do, yeah. Want to watch something while we eat or after maybe?”

Ariel: "Whatever. I don't really watch movies." But he was curious what a man like Rohan liked.

Ariel took a step back, watching his boyfriend while he toweled at his hips and between his legs.

Rohan: “Really?” For some reason, Ariel had struck him as the type to enjoy them. Maybe music was his entertainment of choice as well as his passion.

“Do you have a favorite one?”

Ariel: He took a moment to consider, then shrugged. "There was this movie when I was a kid called Go I really liked."

He was far more focused on Rohan, and rubbing himself through his towel.

Rohan: “Doesn’t sound familiar,” Rohan said after a moment, wrapping his towel around his waist. He’d yet to notice what Ariel was doing, too busy thinking about all the movies he’d seen and wondering which ones Ariel would like.

This would continue as he absently left the bathroom in search of his bag.

Ariel: Rohan would hear his boyfriend snort, covering his mouth and nose to keep from laughing out loud.

Rohan: “Are you okay?” Rohan called. Their dessert materials needed to be put away but underwear took priority.

Ariel: You're blind and I don't know if that's cute. That means you're not looking at me.

"Mhm."

Rohan: “Why are you still in here?” he asked as he entered the bathroom again. He’d put on a pair of boxer briefs and was giving his hair another once over with the towel.

Ariel: "No reason." He'd tossed his towel on the bathroom counter by then, gently tugging at his erection while Rohan did his thing.

Rohan: Ah. Well he definitely saw what was preoccupying Ariel now.

Rohan chuckled and shook his head. “Here I am thinking of what kind of movies you’d enjoy and you’re jacking off.”

Ariel: "I have no idea when I'll see you naked again. Just taking it all in. I'm not gonna wear anything but underwear the rest of the night. Look all you want."

Rohan: “I do. You’ll see me naked when I come back for your birthday.” He smiled, looking Ariel up and down. “Or did you forget you invited me?”

Ariel: "That's forever from now." You could always realize long distance sucks. "If you want I can stay like this."

Rohan: “It’ll fly by, I promise.” At least he hoped it would. Ariel might well decide Rohan wasn’t worth the effort after all if they were apart for longer.

“Put your underwear on, for my sanity.”

Ariel: Ah, his smile became a grin yet again, saying nothing else as he brushed past for some navy blue boxer briefs.

For his sanity, of course.

"What's your favorite?"

Rohan: Rohan frowned. “My favorite what? Oh, movie.” Right, they’d been talking about movies.

He shook his head and tried to focus. “White Christmas.”

Ariel: His hands on his hips, his brow wrinkled. "Sounds familiar. Black and white?"

Rohan: “Color. Bing Crosby, Rosemary Clooney.”

Ariel: "Like, I'm picturing it, but it's black and white. Maybe something Nana watched."

Rohan: “Maybe. There are lots of good classic movies but some of them do tend to blend together.”

Ariel: "Every year she had me watch some clay animated thing. Gave me nightmares though."

Rohan: “Those Christmas specials?”

Ariel: "Yeah."

Rohan: “Why did they give you nightmares?”

Ariel: "Something about a monster. One really had a monster!"

Rohan: “It did?” It had been so long since Rohan had seen one, he couldn’t immediately guess which one Ariel might’ve been talking about.

“I just remember the Rudolph one and some elves and the heat and snow miser.”

Ariel: "I think it was a yeti in mine." His brow wrinkled. "Something about a penguin on a bed? I haven't watched in so long."

Ariel headed down the stairs to the TV, turning on one of his calmer, soul R&B playlists, heading back to the foot of the stairs to wait on his man, hips slowly swaying.

"Come here, baby."

Rohan: Rohan was tempted to hunt those specials down just to sate his curiosity. He wanted to see what had given tiny Ariel nightmares instead of Christmas joy.

But right now he was far more interested in adult Ariel and the prospect of dancing with him.

“You’re turning me into someone who dances,” he said, smiling as he held his hand out for Ariel’s.

Ariel: "Gotta pay the dance toll dating me."

Rohan's hand was taken, pulled above Ariel's shoulder, encouraging chest to chest. His other hand dropped down on his lower back.

Dancing, the other form of sex. This would satiate him just fine. Maybe Rohan would even passively listen to the lyrics as his dance partner swayed, leading them in a tight twirl towards the kitchen.

Rohan: He kissed Ariel’s cheek and let his lips linger. “I’m happy to pay it.”

Passively? Oh, no. Rohan was actively listening to them as he moved with Ariel. Someone who cared as deeply about music as his DJ did wouldn’t randomly choose music.

The song was intentional, and he was listening the same way.

Ariel: "What's your toll?" What is something that's a part of you, you want me a part of?

Reluctantly released, it was his turn to twirl some pasta on a fork and offer.

Rohan: Rohan’s toll wasn’t quite as simple as Ariel’s, and he knew from experience that not everyone was willing to pay it.

Someday they’d have to get into it because it was bound to come up sooner or later but for now, he kept it light.

“Forehead kiss toll,” he said once he took the bite. “You have to let me give you one at least once a day.”

Ariel: "If once a day meant-" He stopped himself there before he came off as clingy. Dangerous territory this early. Instead, he laughed, and leaned over on his elbows.

"Go on." He tapped his forehead.

Rohan: If only Ariel knew that Rohan wouldn’t have minded him being clingy in the least. That it would’ve made him unbelievably happy that Ariel would even want to.

But only a day into their relationship, some things just hadn’t had the time to come up yet.

So Rohan would let Ariel’s sentence disappear into the air without asking him to finish it and lean over to kiss his forehead, letting his lips linger for just a moment like he had before.

Ariel: The love song ended, transitioning smoothly into another brand of soul R&B, with Ariel humming along, a look of bliss on his face as he took a bite, offered a bite, letting this be his pattern.

Too jazzed for sleep. To mellow to go out; seemed Rohan was more inclined to stay inside, and while he had been invited to his birthday party, there was little chance he would see him in between.

Rohan didn't seem the lying type. He would see him for his birthday. It was just... bliss.

Ariel looked around for his notebook. Excused himself back upstairs to retrieve it. Another song title for his next album.

Rohan: Rohan had indeed promised to return for Ariel’s birthday party and so he would, but that didn’t mean he was going to let his remaining hours with Ariel just pass without savoring every second.

There was something beautifully domestic about this scene, about Ariel feeding them both while they listened to music. Not that Rohan would say that out loud, and certainly not this soon.

The word ‘domestic’ tended to frighten people who weren’t ready to hear it or had never considered it before. It was a word that had the power to cause discomfort, to prompt escape, to bring relationships to a screeching halt. ‘Domestic’ was something not everyone wanted and more often than not, those who did want it had to keep it to themselves.

“Did you remember something?”

Ariel: Ariel glanced up from his notebook and smiled. No, he would not be showing his first drafts. The notebook was kept to himself.

"Music stuff. When I think of lyrics and shit, it goes in here." He would show the thickness of the pages, half closing the book to show how far he had come.

"That's the last two albums. Not a lot of lyrics but, ideas."

Rohan: He would neither try to take a peek at what Ariel was writing nor would he ask, despite his curiosity. If Ariel wanted to share, he would have.

Rohan smiled, feeling proud for reasons he couldn't name. "Do all of your ideas end up being used?"

Ariel: He shook his head. "But I keep em. Maybe for something else."

The notebook was closed with his pen as a bookmark.

"Did your parents not listen to music?"

Rohan: “They listened to Leonard Cohen,” Rohan said with a smile. “My dad really likes classical music so he’d put that on, too. My mom would listen to whatever he listened to but I can’t remember her ever choosing to put music on. Her thing is movies. She loves them.”

Ariel: "So they're both still around?"

Rohan: “They are,” he nodded. “I try to see them as often as I can.”

Ariel: "How often is that?"

Rohan: “It used to be at least twice a month but for the past few months, I’ve gone every week.”

Ariel: He thought about Jessica, and how often he called his grandparents after moving to New York.

"Something happen?"

Rohan: “No, I just have more time now. Much to their delight.”

He would’ve expected the opposite with Xavier living in Thailand but, with the house practically empty, life on the estate was far less busy than usual.

Ariel: How long was that drive? Rohan really did have money.

Being a witch wasn't taken into account. In Ariel's eyes, magic wasn't the answer for everything. At least, he didn't want it to be. Life would be a bit boring.

He realized he let the silence stretch just a bit too long.

"I called mine a lot when I was homesick. Why I asked."

Rohan: Rohan gave Ariel a sympathetic nod. "I understand. I think the only reason I've never experienced much homesickness is because I've never given myself the time for it to take root. There hasn't ever been a point in my life where I've been away from them for an extended period of time, even when I moved away. We talk every day, we exchange letters. They're always with me in one way or another."

Ariel: "So... family's a big deal for you." Saying it out loud, he wasn't certain how he was supposed to feel. Happy for him, sure, but for them, what that would mean for their relationship. Was that too much to think too soon? He didn't think so. Best to nip things in the bud before they took root, to borrow Rohan's phrasing.

He didn't see a problem with it.

Rohan: “They’re my only blood family, so yes. I don’t have any siblings and neither do they. My grandparents are all dead. I’m all they have. Being able to take care of them means a lot to me.”

Ariel: "They have you late in life?"

Rohan: He didn’t want to lie, but maybe a small white one wouldn’t be too bad. It had only been a day…

Promising himself that he’d correct it as soon as he could, Rohan nodded. “They did, yes.”

Ariel: "My family's kinda the opposite." He didn't know why he was lingering on the subject, and decided to push it away with one more offered bite. His quiet laugh was brief.

"You know what I'm gonna say, right?"

Rohan: Rohan took the bite with a smile. Once again, if Ariel didn’t elaborate, he wouldn’t pry.

“That you can’t remember how we ended up here?”

Ariel: "Never fed anyone," he smiled.

Rohan: Well now he was beaming. “I’m really enjoying being so many of your firsts. Makes me feel special.”

Ariel: "How many more can we cram in before ten?"

Rohan: "That depends on what you want to do next. Have you ever taken a night walk with someone just because or had a drink with someone on the roof?"

Ariel: "Yes to the roof thing. Does walking around Vegas count?"

Rohan: "Sure it does, as long as you weren't alone."

Rohan hesitated for only a moment before convincing himself to say, "If you ever visit me in California...we can go for a night drive. See the stars."

Ariel: His smile softened. "Haven't done that in forever. Like, since I was a kid."

Rohan: “Would you like to? Visit me and go for a night drive, that is.”

Ariel: "We can drive til we see redwoods."

Rohan: “Have you ever seen them before? They’re…” Rohan smiled and shook his head at himself, suddenly feeling shy.

Ariel: "What's that?" He licked his lips and leaned forward, chin in his folded arms.

Rohan: “I was going to say they’re breathtaking but is that too much of a cliche?”

Ariel: "Not from you," he grinned.

Rohan: That grin wasn't helping his shyness one little bit.

"Well, they are. The longer you look at them and think about them the more unfathomable they become. I really would like to take you to see them."

Ariel: And this was just day one.

"I'm down." He thought for a moment, considering what he could show Rohan.

"You never been to Seattle? Any of the islands?"

Rohan: "To Seattle yes. I’ve been a few times. I don't think I've been to any of the islands though."

Ariel: "I got family out that way. Can island hop."

Rohan: “Deal. I’ll take you to the redwoods and you take me to the islands. We can each be a ‘first’ for each other.”

Ariel: "You... into that kinda thing? Meeting... family?"

Rohan: “A romantic partner’s family you mean?” Rohan asked softly.

Ariel: He stared at his food for a moment. Weighing the severity of Rohan's gentle tone and why he had even asked. After Jessica, he hadn't thought much of the word romantic. And with no man wanting more than a fuck buddy, this was just... new. New and unusual.

"Yeah," he said, equally tender.

Rohan: “I can’t say I’ve had many opportunities to meet a partner’s family or have them meet mine.” It had been a very, very long time since he’d been serious enough with someone to even consider that. A decade or perhaps even longer.

“So to answer your question…I don’t know. I think the timing would have to be right and everyone would have to be comfortable with it for that to happen.”

Ariel: "Not a casual thing, then," just so he was clear.

Rohan: Rohan shook his head. “No. Not a casual thing.”

Ariel: It was a lot for twenty-four hours, but even now, with everything he knew, he could only nod. He knew what he'd got himself into last night.

"So, wait, what are we watching?" he laughed.

Rohan: “We don’t have to watch anything,” Rohan chuckled. “We can go for a walk or go get dessert at the diner. Whatever you want.”

Ariel: "You full?" He wanted to pull him into a kiss at that moment, just because. Maybe there was another reason, but he didn't care. He just wanted to, so he would.

Rohan: The reason made no difference to Rohan. Ariel wanted to kiss him and he wanted to kiss Ariel, and that was enough.

“There’s always room for dessert.”

Ariel: "I thought I got a tiramisu. I think they didn't - I think they forgot it. Yeah. Let's go out."

Rohan: “All right, let’s go.”

But first, clothes. Ariel was finally going to get a chance to see him in something other than a suit by way of jeans and a T-shirt.

Ariel: Ariel was watching with the same intensity as Rohan's nudity. Jeans, blue shoes and shirt, and his hands were on his boyfriend's hips before five minutes could pass, even as he pocketed his wallet and keys.

Rohan: Rohan noticed Ariel staring and laughed. “What, do I look that strange? This is more my element than the suits.”

Ariel: "I guess I imprinted on the other thing," he laughed.

Rohan: “Most people who know me are in the opposite camp. The suit is strange for them.”

Ariel: "I like nothing best. Just saying." Getting out the door was going to take a minute. He had to pull Rohan into his arms.

Rohan: He grinned and shook his head. “As much as I hate to deny you, your favorite would get me arrested for public indecency.”

Have a kiss to make up for it.

Ariel: As much as he wanted to lock the door and rip apart Rohan's clothes with bare hands, he didn't want him to assume that was all their relationship would be.

But Rohan really didn't make it easy.

A little more groping, squeezing Rohan's ass in his jeans, admiring the feel in his palm and ready to admire the shape as soon as he had the view.

"Christmas came early this year."

Rohan: It was both flattering and a little bewildering that a man like Ariel would find someone like him so alluring just for wearing jeans or simply existing. Not that Rohan had ever thought himself unappealing, this was just something he hadn't experienced with anyone before.

He was enjoying it more than he wanted to admit.

"Sweet talker," he laughed. "Come on, let's go eat cake."

Ariel: "I got cake right here," he giggled, holding a handful of Rohan's ass as he finally caught up. He'd seen all he needed to see. If he took another second to admire, his clothes would become a hindrance.

"That was off-color, my bad. I mean you got assets," he grinned.

Rohan: Rohan just kept laughing, shaking his head. Ariel really was like no one else he’d ever been with.

“You’re going to give me such a massive ego if you keep that up.” He took that groping hand and laced their fingers together so it would behave.

Ariel: "I wanna see that." And he meant it, more than a tease. He wanted to see Rohan with heaps of confidence. Already a strong and quiet force, he was just a little too modest. It was undeserving. Ariel had time and patience to mend that fracture. Maybe an opportunity to face the cause head-on. Maybe punch the demon in the face.

"You pick dessert. Anywhere you wanna go."

Rohan: The likelihood of Rohan actually getting a swollen ego was slim, but who was to say? Maybe Ariel would succeed in boosting his confidence.

“Hmm…” Rohan took his phone out of his pocket. “I know I just said cake but…I kind of want a cannoli. Or several.”

Ariel: "Can go to the same place we - I got dinner." It was too soon for we. He really needed to calm down. He was certainly getting ahead of himself.

Rohan: Rohan didn’t mind the ‘we’ but if Ariel felt the need to correct himself, that meant that he did mind. For now at least.

“Then let’s go there. Lead the way.”

Ariel: "Off - uhhhhh that way! A mile... ish!" There was only a moment's hesitation before offering his arm. Trying to be casual about it, but he was biting his lip.

Rohan: Of course Rohan would take it, with a smile and no hesitation. Usually he was the one to offer his arm so this was a nice change.

Ariel was giving him some firsts, too.

Ariel: Conversation wasn't a chore with Rohan, and neither was silence. But he didn't want silence. He wanted Rohan's voice.

"What's your favorite city?"

Rohan: He thought for a moment. “I don’t spend too much time in cities but I’ll always love Bucharest. Spokane is a smaller city but I love it, too. New York.”

Ariel: "What's Bucharest like?"

Rohan: “Very European. Lots of beautiful old buildings, not really any skyscrapers, looks like a kaleidoscope at night.”

Ariel: "Is it, like, all cobblestone, like in the movies?"

Rohan: “A lot of the smaller streets are but there are smaller towns where it’s all cobblestone.”

Ariel: "You ever played the - ever seen Resident Evil Village?" Because of course he didn't play video games.

Rohan: Rohan shook his head. “No, I don’t think so. I feel like that sounds familiar though.”

Ariel: "You, uh, really don't play any games, huh?"

Rohan: “Not really, no. A friend of mine likes to take me to arcades though.”

Ariel: "Arcades?"

Rohan: Rohan nodded. “Yep. He has a talent for finding them, and not just that. Last Halloween he went to go explore a clown motel that was next to an old cemetery.”

Ariel: "My brain can't register what you just said," he laughed.

Rohan: “He sent me pictures,” Rohan chuckled. “I’ll look for them once we have our dessert. It looked like something out a fever dream.”

Ariel: "Sounds like it. You like that kinda thing?"

Rohan: “Haunted clown motels in the middle of the desert?”

Ariel: "Really weird and random shit, yeah," he laughed.

Rohan: He nodded. “I do. It’s always so interesting looking into places like that. I used to work for a historical archive so I came across a lot of weird.”

Ariel: "You told me about that. Like, what kinda history? Like a city, or religious?"

Rohan: “Local history. This was back in Spokane.”

Ariel: "So you know everything there is to know about Spokane."

Rohan: “I did at one point. There’s a lot of reportedly haunted locations there, that I remember.”

Ariel: "So why did you leave?"

Rohan: “I met Rossmara and he offered me a job.”

Ariel: "You wanted out?"

Rohan: “I don’t think it ever occurred to me until he came along. The work I do now is more challenging, I have more freedom. Sometimes I miss the archive but whenever I do, I just go visit.”

Ariel: He was watching Rohan as often as he watched the bustling street. This conversation felt like their breakfast. A lot of getting to know you’s.

"When's the last time you went?"

Rohan: "Must have been...hmm..." Rohan squinted into the distance as he thought back. "About eight months, I think. Maybe closer to a year. It's been a while."

Ariel: Ariel remembered their conversation back at the house. The gravity of meeting family. That had to go hand-in-hand with hometowns. Tempting to offer his company so soon.

"I guess one day I'll see." He shoved his hands into his pockets.

Rohan: Rohan smiled and nodded. He hadn’t missed the way his DJ kept looking at him or the unspoken things hanging in the air around them.

It seemed they were both very aware of how new this was and how much they still couldn’t say.

“You will. I’ll show you the little shoebox office I used to have.”

Ariel: There was an instance of concern, worried he felt too strong too fast, but intense feelings had never stopped him before. He lived for them. Drugs, music, sex, dance...

"You said you got a cabin now? You lived in one back in Spokane, too?"

Rohan: “I do, yes. I have a parcel of land on the estate all to myself now but in Spokane…” He smiled.

“I lived in an apartment in a building that was formerly a hotel that was very, very haunted.”

Ariel: "You saw some shit?"

Rohan: He shook his head. “Shadows sometimes but never a full-blown apparition. Mostly I heard and felt things. Footsteps, knocking sounds, whispering. Things like that.”

Ariel: "That's when you knew you're a witch?" Still trippy to think about.

Rohan: “Oh, I’ve known my whole life. Lots of us do.”

Ariel: "How'd you always know?"

Rohan: “Well, for starters both of my parents are witches, too. Magic was a part of my life before I was even born.”

Ariel: Ariel blinked and blinked again. "Did you tell me that this morning?"

Rohan: “About my parents?” Rohan frowned in thought. “I don’t think I did.”

Ariel: Made sense of he hasn't. As much as he loved Rohan's company, they were very new to all of this, and a conversation about that had been tender since the moment he felt Rohan's bracelet.

He didn't want to think too deeply.

"What kinda magic they do?" he asked, his tone private.

Rohan: Yes, it certainly had. Rohan knew that at some point they were going to have to have a proper conversation about the bracelet and everything surrounding it, sooner rather than later, but not yet.

Although they were comfortable around each other, they needed time to work up to heavier conversations.

“Nature-related mostly. A few years ago they bought a small parcel of land and they’ve been reforesting it.”

Ariel: "Oh, that's cool." He scoffed at his own statement. "I dunno what else to say. I sound dumb."

Rohan: “You don’t,” said Rohan. “It makes me happy that you want to know about me, or even just that you care enough to ask.”

Ariel: "Well, yeah. Did your last boyfriend not do anything?"

Rohan: “It’s not that, it’s just nice and…it’s been a while.”

Ariel: He almost asked how long, and then realized he didn't care. He had him, now. What really mattered more?

Biting his lip, he offered his hand.

Rohan: It was taken with a smile and without a hint of hesitation.

"How much further?"

Ariel: "Just over there," he pointed. A group of locals were heading their direction, talking loudly and not paying any attention. Typical, and without a word, Rohan was gently directed to Ariel's other side.

Rohan: Rohan didn't even think to pay the other people any mind until Ariel had shielded him from them in his own subtle way. He didn't need it, and it would've been no trouble at all to simply brush past them, but he let Ariel do it anyway because everything about the gesture made something warm and almost painfully tender bloom in his chest.

That Ariel would think to do it, that he did it as if it were second nature just...

Rohan squeezed his hand and smiled. "Let's go get our cannolis."

Ariel: Ariel hadn't missed a beat. He took Rohan's other hand and gave it a gentle swing. The gesture hadn't been a contemplated thought, just as Rohan suspected.

A line was leading out of the restaurant, despite the hour. Eager locals and tourists alike dressed a notch better than the pair. Ariel hesitated, bringing Rohan in front of him to hold from behind, chin resting on his shoulder.

"Yeah, I don't think it's going to happen," he sighed, amusement in his voice.

Rohan: Perhaps Rohan should've seen it coming given how good the food was, but seeing that line still caused a disappointed but amused sigh to match Ariel's tone. There would be no cannolis for them tonight.

"Definitely not," he chuckled, leaning back against his boyfriend. "Well, we still have the diner. I seem to recall a certain DJ praising their cheesecake bites last night and I have to say, I'm very curious to see if they live up to the hype."

It meant more walking but Rohan didn't mind. He was enjoying walking around with Ariel, and wherever they ended up didn't matter nearly as much as spending as much time with him as he could before he had to leave in the morning.

Ariel: Rohan might feel the smile against his skin. Their bodies were swayed back and forth as Ariel hummed. Yes, but no more walking. They had traveled in the opposite direction. It was time for another Uber. Just a little more time, but following Rohan's thoughts, Ariel didn't mind, so long as they were doing something together.

"Want to-go?" Whatever Rohan wanted was fine. Ariel perked, suggesting the roof of his apartment building for some romantic skyline.

Rohan: Snuggling together in the back of a car was even more appealing than walking hand in hand, and Rohan was glad for the suggestion. Anything that got them home quicker, where they didn't have to worry about the intrusion on their time by other people, was just fine by him.

The prospect of having their dessert with a view wasn't bad either.

Both the sugar and the fresh air helped Rohan's tiredness but not enough to chase it away completely. Reluctant as he was to give into it, sleep would have to come eventually, which would essentially bring their time together to an end. All the more reason to hold Ariel has tightly as he could in the meantime.

Ariel: Ariel would make the most of the time they had together. The closer to sleep the more mournful he felt. Exhaustion was dutifully ignored for the promise of just one more minute. Holding Rohan's back to his chest as they watched the sky. Just another minute to feed one more little bite of cheesecake. To rest his chin against his shoulder. To whisper his desires back in the bedroom. Just one more minute before sleep. One more minute to enjoy the weight of Rohan's cheek against his chest. And upon waking, just one more minute to arouse his boyfriend from sleep with his mouth.

Until next time.

[nicsnort]

Gravita Anima (part 68)

Nightcrawler/Fem!OC/Quicksilver Long-form romance and drama fic. All chapters have been posted on Ao3.

Intro (with link to Ao3 story) First Previous

The X-men were assembled in the war room. Lucy stood off to the side, knowing this was about Elle’s father. She stood next to Hank. Outside of the room lingered Pietro -- a detail that Xavier, Wolverine, Beast, and Jean picked up on, but all giving it a moment to see what might happen.

Xavier explained the background of the story before launching into the plan. “The man has requested dinner with Eleanor with the threat of placing several people hostage. The idea is that we will rent out the restaurant as best as we can to limit civilians. Kurt located a restaurant, Toloache. De La Rocha is a strong empath, so Jean and I will renew mental shields. We need to incapacitate this man before he can attempt anything. Given that there is a risk that we may be turned against one another unwillingly…” 

Elle listened to Xavier explain the situation. To have someone else describe what was going on in such a formal manner was strange. She answered a couple of questions but mostly just stood there with the X-men giving her glances every so often. It was almost obvious what was on Scott’s mind. ‘I told you it was dangerous’ ‘You should have expected something like this’ but at the very least, with this being a mission, he was taking it seriously.

“Will the mental shields actually help,” Rogue asked. “You said Kurt was taken over easily, and he had shields in place.”

“He wasn’t expecting a mental attack, and with the boost that the Professor just gave him, even to me, his emotions are harder to read,” Elle told her, squeezing Kurt’s hand unconsciously. “I was also able to bring him back, force out Manuel’s control by restoring his emotional signature...theoretically, I could do it for any of you, but I would need to learn your emotions much better...the way that Manuel took control of Kurt was by taking everything away. Very different from how I can control people. At the very least, we will be able to tell who is controlled because they will act like a zombie.”

The X-men listened to her nodding. “Does that mean you will be hanging around for a few days,” Hank inquired.

“I will try.” Elle bit her lower lip in thought. “I don’t want him showing up to interrupt my daily life. I have work.”

“And him showing up shouldn’t have to interrupt your life,” Xavier told her. “When do you have off next?”

“Tomorrow, so I could spend the night and tomorrow getting to know everyone better. I have Monday off as well; we could try to schedule the time then.”

Xavier gave a nod. “Then that is what we will do. Why don’t you spend a few hours with each of the X-men? I believe Kitty and Rogue are making dinner tonight; perhaps you could join them in the kitchen.”

“Yeah, we’re doing up spaghetti and meatballs,” Kitty told her. “We were about to start before the Professor called us down.”

“Sounds great,” Elle told them. She looked around the room to see if there were any more comments. Making eye contact with Lucy, she gave a small smile. Perhaps, Lucy would join her in the kitchen. 

Lucy squeezed Hank’s arm and started after the girls. Rogue and Kitty started to walk upstairs with Elle and Lucy in tow. When they got to the kitchen, Lucy sighed. “Damn, I forgot we’re a school...no wine.” She rested her hip against the counter as Kitty went back to boiling water, and Rogue went to get the pasta out of the cabinets. “I could just visit De La Rocha at night and put a stop to all of this,” she suggested.

Elle stood against the opposite counter to Lucy, closer to where Kitty was working on boiling a massive pot of water. Kitty and Rogue would be easy to learn. Kitty was bubbly and bright; Rogue was smooth and deep. At Lucy’s suggestion, Elle chuckled just a bit. “I don’t think that would really help but thank you. I mean, sure, you could mentally destroy him, but I can’t ask you to do that. What would happen if he ever recovered? He’d come back with a vengeance...and I am not going to let you kill him if that is what you were suggesting.”

Running her hands through her hair, Elle sighed. “No, I need to deal with him myself. I need to show the Brotherhood, show Magneto, that his attempts of revenge and punishing me are worthless. And I need Manuel to deliver that message to Frost as well.”

Lucy gave a half-nod. “I mean, I suppose a man of his type might be able to get enough psychological treatment to gain his mind back.” Still, she knew entirely what Elle meant. Magneto was a man of symbols, and Elle putting De La Rocha in his place needed to happen. She opened a cabinet and pulled out some oregano, garlic salt, and pepper under Kitty’s direction. She glanced back at Elle at her remark and smiled a little.

Rogue walked between them, carrying several jars of pasta sauce for heating. “Move a bit, will ya’,” she said to Elle, shooing her down the counter a bit. “Y’all don’t want me brushing you by accident…”

Elle moved away a few inches to give Rogue plenty of room to stir. She looked back at Lucy and smiled. “So, I saw Hank’s interview. It's official, a second school.”

“Yes...he did fantastically, but he always does with public speaking.” It was on the tip of Lucy’s tongue to tell her friend what happened with Trish, but she would wait until they were alone. No need to alter the girls’ perspective of her so soon. “We can’t go back on our word now! He really wants to do this...with me. I found a spot. I just need to buy it, get it inspected, and start the building. PR is never too early.”

She walked over and stood next to Elle, lowering her voice. She was pretty sure neither Rogue nor Kitty -- one of whom was literally waist-deep in the fridge without opening it -- could hear murmurs. “Elle, don’t say anything, but...I’ve decided. I’m going to buy a ring and propose to Hank in the near future.”

“WHAT?!” Elle immediately shouted at the news, a huge excited grin on her face. With an excited grimace, she looked over at Rogue and Kitty...the former who had hit her head looking up at the shout. “Sorry,” Elle called out to them before looking back at Lucy with a giggle. “What? Really? Like how soon? A few days? A couple of weeks? Details girl!”

Rogue gave a suspicious look at the two, knowing that a secret with that reaction was worth knowing. She opened up the jars of pasta to warm up but stayed close. Lucy blushed and gave a nervous giggle herself. “I haven’t figured that part out yet. The whole...Trish incident needs to die down a bit first. Hopefully, in a few weeks. But...I thought perhaps we would go out to his favorite restaurant and...you know. You don’t think it’s too soon?” 

“Too soon for what, sugar?” Rogue inquired as she rinsed out the jar. 

“The second school.” Lucy lied smoothly. “To start taking applications before the building is even built.” 

Kitty broke the pasta and tossed it into the boiling water. “Is it going to be a prep school or a place for those in need?” 

“Need, of course. You’re right; it’s silly. So, anyway, Elle, uh, I’ll let you get to know these two.” She walked to the fridge, knowing she would only dig her grave deeper if she kept talking. 

Too soon? Elle had her opinion on that. Yes. They had only been dating for a few weeks and had known each other for a few months. If Kurt proposed to her so soon...Elle was suddenly distracted by that idea and only managed to give Lucy a small wave goodbye. Kurt proposing? With all the joking - hopefully joking - talk of a wedding ceremony, Elle couldn’t help but imagine it. Kurt and her shared a love for the classics. It would be a grand gesture from him, right? With music and flowers, he’d be wearing a suit and her the loveliest dress...the perfect end to a perfect date.

Rogue gave a skeptical look to Lucy as she left but nodded, sprinkling some of the spices into the sauce. “So how’s it work? You just...hang out with us? Or do you do something like the Professor does?”

Rogue’s question pulled Elle from her daydream. There was a soft blush on her face as she answered. “Well, I just sort of picked up on Kurt’s and...other peoples,” she wasn’t about to say, Pietro, “just by being around them. I figure if I concentrate on learning yours, it will work well enough?” Elle shrugged. “What does the professor do?”

“He puts his hands on either side of your head and enters your mind,” Kitty replied.

“Oh, okay, yes, I saw him doing that to put the shield inside my mother’s mind...I could try that if one of you doesn’t mind being a guinea pig.”

Kitty and Rogue looked at each other, and Kitty nodded. “Alright, Rogue, keep an eye on the pasta.”

They sat in two of the kitchen chairs while Rogue looked on. Elle held her hands up to either side of Kitty’s head and concentrated...nothing. She wasn’t sure what to do. Both Frost and Xavier had done mental exercises with her. Frost brought Elle inside that mind space, but...what did she need? What would help her learn? She imagined herself going into Kitty’s mind, connecting with it. No. Not just her mind, her soul, her being.

Unconsciously Elle began to filter Kitty through a range of emotions. Flipping back and forth quickly, seeing how her base emotions responded. In Elle’s mind’s eye, two golden strings - just like those that connected her to the people she had controlled - entered Kitty’s head at the temples. The threads moved across her emotional soul, mapping it. Fear.

Elle pulled out instantly, opening her eyes to see Kitty silently crying with a look of fear on her face. “I’m sorry,” she said immediately. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Kitty sniffed. “It was an experiment...Rogue chocolate?”

“Of course, Kitty,” Rogue replied, getting some chocolate out of the ceiling. “I don’t think that is going to work for the rest of us.” She told Elle.

Elle nodded hurriedly in agreement. “Certainly, I don’t even know what I was doing. I shouldn’t have tried. I’m just...I’ll leave you guys alone for a bit.” With that, Elle hurried out of the kitchen. She needed some air.

~~~

The late summer air was cool on Elle’s face. Autumn was on its way. The tourist season would be ending, but the school season would be starting. Yet, Elle may not even be a guide soon. Outside of the manor, Elle walked away from the school towards the edge of the forest, where there were a few benches. Sitting down, she looked around over the grounds.

Closing her eyes, Elle let the breeze blow over her face. It was nice. It took her mind off what just happened. She wasn’t even sure what she had done. What she unintentionally did to Kitty seemed far more invasive than controlling someone. Yet, Elle had no idea what she could have done. Why did her powers have to be so frightening and awful? Why did she have to hurt someone every time she discovered a new power?

“Anima.”

Elle wasn’t aware of Wanda near her until the other woman spoke. Opening her eyes, Elle looked over the red-clad woman. “My name is Elle, Wanda,” she told her friend. Friend? Could she still call the woman a friend? “But if Anima is easier for you…” Elle sighed deeply before giving a tired smile. “How can I help you?”

It could have been in Wanda’s nature to be waspish, to remark that at least the woman’s names stayed true despite everything. She didn’t, though. It wasn’t a time to fight; though she hadn’t completely forgiven her for what happened, she knew her brother had done plenty already. 

“So your father has found you, all because of my father.” It was an observation, neutral. 

Elle felt the automatic prickliness and defensiveness from Wanda at her words. Yet, she also felt Wanda force the emotions back, overcoming her initial reaction. That was good? Yes, that was a good sign. “It seems so,” Elle replied, leaning back against the bench. “I didn’t care to know about him before, and now I wish I didn’t…” 

A mixture of emotions crossed Elle’s face as she looked at Wanda. Regret, guilt, but also hope and friendliness. “...I am sorry, you know, about hurting him and you.”

Wanda looked closely at Elle. “It would have been different if you hadn’t joined us with the intention to deceive. If you joined us wanting to join, and then changed your mind…but you knew what you were doing when you befriended us...and got Pietro to like you.” In other words, her apology wasn’t accepted. 

Elle’s actions had caused quite a stir. It prompted Pietro to finally acknowledge that their father was selfish and horrible as a father -- demanding and awe-inspiring as a leader -- which Wanda was glad for to some degree. Certainly, the Brotherhood was more home to her than the X-men, but that, she hoped, would change with time. It had crossed both her mind and Pietro’s when they first left on just...existing on their own. They had before when they were younger, when their mother was sick then when Magneto was too distracted to care for them. But it was different back then. Mutants were more under the radar. And now? It was dangerous to be alone.

At Wanda’s words, Elle’s shoulders slumped just a bit. Of course. No forgiveness yet. Perhaps ever. She had hurt Wanda’s brother. She had hurt Pietro. The sting must be far too fresh to contemplate it...but then again. Maybe forgiveness wasn’t necessary. Elle was never going to forgive Pietro for what he did with Michael, but she was willing to work with him. She was willing to support him and Wanda in front of the X-men. Perhaps there was hope for her and Wanda’s friendship. Perhaps even hope for a pleasant relationship with Pietro.

“You all will be risking your lives trying to take him down. Any friend of Frost’s is a worthy and dangerous opponent.” As if Elle didn’t know that already. “I say this, not because of whatever ‘friendship’ we have left, but because...if we’re going to be part of this group...genuinely part of this group...we’re willing to help out.”

This prospect was bolstered further by Wanda’s next words. The friendship they had left? She and Pietro wanted to be a part of helping her? Helping the X-men? A gentle and hopeful smile grew on Elle’s face. “So we have a possible friendship left,” Elle asked before continuing. “I would be glad to have you both along. I will talk to Xavier about it.”

Elle remembered that Xavier had said they wouldn’t be joining in on missions right away. But this was her problem; surely she should have a say in the matter of who helped.

Wanda gave a short nod. She suspected Xavier would see its wisdom, particularly if the man didn’t know that Wanda and Pietro had left the Brotherhood. And, if anything, if Pietro wanted to help...he’d help. He wouldn’t let anyone stand in his way. Even if his intent was...gray.

“Keep us posted.” Wanda walked away, back through the gardens to find a spot that felt right so she could finish her book. It was much more comfortable out here than inside. She had said her piece. She was confident, like her brother, that they would be involved somehow. 

Elle wanted to speak to Wanda some more. She wanted to know what really happened when Pietro was kicked out of the Brotherhood. She wanted to speak about the book series they both liked. She wanted to know if Wanda had known or even knew what Pietro did with Micheal. Elle just wanted her friend back...but no. What Wanda said was a reminder: Elle shouldn’t have been friends with her in the first place. She should have foregone making personal connections, especially the ones with Pietro. So Elle let her leave.

Breathing in slowly, Elle focused her thoughts. Right now, it wasn’t about her relationship with the twins. It was about stopping Manuel and protecting her mother. Getting off the bench she headed back inside to talk to Xavier about the twins joining the mission.

___

Next

Fanfic Masterlist

[casspurrjoybell-27]

In a Heartbeat - Chapter 15 - Part 1

*Warning Adult Content*

Vince

I remember the first time I met David, Michael's mate, I had just turned thirteen, Michael had been nineteen.

David was turning sixteen, the age where a mate's scent can be discovered.

Michael had known David was his mate for three years but like most mates, the bond would only be at its strongest when both were of age.

As much as I hated to admit it, David was an all-around good guy.

He had gone straight to work after schooling to help take care of orphaned pups or the elder wolves within the pack, often assisting our mother and the other she-wolves in making sure they were well taken care of.

Michael had introduced us to him over dinner one night.

At that point, I had only seen David in passing or seeing him briefly chat with mother over one of the elderly wolves they were assigned.

He was polite, charming and honestly a good match to my often rash and stubborn brother.

Michael had told our father, Damon, that he was a friend, a close one that had the qualifications for being a great Beta or bodyguard for our family.

He was highly intelligent, placed top of his class, did a plethora of volunteer work and had experience with working with other packs through internships and outside jobs he had with the humans and classic David, he brushed the compliments off, blushing and downplaying the qualifications he obviously had.

However, the look on fathers face during dinner seemed to suggest that Michael had more to say than suggest a job offer.

There was a moment of silence before Michael sighed and grasped David's hand.

When Michael had dropped the news that David was, in fact, his mate and not just a friend, our father made a face we had never seen directed at any of us.

It was the first time I saw disappointment on our father's face.

At thirteen, I didn't see anything wrong with David being his mate but I hadn't known the gravity of what that meant, especially for our family and as his disappointment turned to rage, our confusion had quickly turned to fear.

Xavier, who was only seven had burst out crying, hiding behind mother as waves of unprecedented anger seemed to wash over our father.

I could only watch in complete stillness as the events played out so quickly.

Michael had grabbed David's hand and had stepped away from the long dining table, Michael shielding David away from Damon.

David, despite being taller than my brother, seemed to cower in terror as father stalked over to them.

"Like hell," he shouted before lowering his voice.

"I will not have this happen again."

"Dad."

"Get out," he used his Aalpha voice, something he's never had to use on any of us before, which had scared all of us shitless, including our mother who had started tearing up as well, still clutching little Xavier to her chest.

That night, Michael and David were nowhere to be seen and father had tucked Xavier and me to bed.

He had calmed down significantly but I could tell Xavier was still apprehensive as he squeezed my hand tightly next to me.

He didn't always like sharing the bed with me but he happened to stay in my bed for almost a week after that incident.

After our father said his good nights, he turned to me, mind-linking me.

'When you turn sixteen, you find your mate and she'll be perfect. Michael may have fucked this up but when you find your she-wolf, you'll become our pack's Alpha and if I find out your mate is a fucking male, I will, son and all...' he leaned closer, whispering in my ear.

'Make your life a living hell.'

I could do nothing but nod as he slowly walked out, his threat leaving an uncomfortable silence that left me sleepless for months.

I hadn't seen Michael or David for a few months after that and when I did, it was like they had become an average pack member.

They didn't interact hardly ever and when they did, they seemed to dance around each other, barely touching.

A part of me felt sorry for Michael.

If only David had been a she-wolf, maybe things would've turned out far different and when Simon had told me we were mates, I had been scared shitless.

I had almost forgotten his threat and despite father being dead, I still feared what a male mate meant.

He was probably rolling in his grave, wishing to tear me a new one.

I was honestly surprised I hadn't seen his ghost trying to haunt me yet.

So excuse me if I was angry that everyone seemed to feel sorry for Simon when really they should worry about the repercussions male mates, especially as an Alpha, would have on the pack.

Now that I had to face my older brother Michael again, it left a bad taste in my mouth.

I had kicked him and David out for a reason when I assumed father's role as Alpha and hated that we agreed to meet face to face at the RCPP.

Our father, Damon established the Rogue Control and Protection Project roughly twelve years ago.

According to him, our mother Marie had been the one to push for a more friendly border and allow their access to pack land if they needed medical assistance or seek asylum from other packs or rogues.

For the most part, our father seemed to revere the RCPP he had started up.

Hundreds of rogues had been helped within the first few months and it had seemed to make the overall safety and atmosphere of the surrounding territories friendlier and safer for both pack members and rogues but shortly after, the program was failing.

Rogues would flock to our pack seeking 'medical attention' only to use the facility as a resting spot, a place to get fed and obtain free supplies to the point that the safety for pack members was quickly diminishing.

Pups were rushed indoors, the elderly weren't allowed outside for more than a few hours, buddy systems were quickly being put in place.

When father died, I wanted to scrap the program completely but I kept it for our mothers sake.

I had completely overhauled the policies, making it harder for people to take advantage of it.

Rogues were limited to medical emergencies only and would be granted three months for any follow-up.

After that, they could only seek medical help from us after a year had passed and if they wanted to become a pack member, it would take an eight-ten year process.

Any rogues seeking medical attention were to obtain tracking devices so we could track their movements and ensure that they didn't overuse the RCPP.

The RCPP was a dilapidated building that hadn't really gone undergone any major changes since my father had built it.

Of course, the medial supplies and tools were all top-notch stuff, as it had the same things as the main pack hospital had.

We could house both rogues in human and wolf form but this building was not nearly as expansive and comforting as the main clinic.

Walking up to it now, I wished I hadn't agreed to meeting with Michael at all.

We were always at odds with each other, even before he had introduced us to David.

He was a know-it-all, haughty at times and relished in the fact that he was 'destined' to be Alpha being the first-born son.

To him, I was always the second-best, too innocent and naive to be an Alpha but look how the mighty have fallen and a part of me was excited to see him just to rub it in his face that I had become dad's favorite.

[chaoticforever]

Conflicting Emotions Stranger Outcomes | Charles and Erik x Male! Reader

Summary: A metal man's jealousy can make everything spiral out of control. 

A/N: Requested. This fic was an absolute monster for me to write, so I hope it's good enough for you guys.

It was on particular days like these — the days where you spend the best and most promising moments of your life with the love of your life — is when you often think back to when you met him for the first time, and where your life ultimately changed for the better.

The club was pretty wild and crazy. There were a bunch of young adults on the dance floor who was shit-faced drunk and grinding on others. Then, some people were at the bar like you, sitting down and talking to others over the loud, blasting music.

"Excuse me." A hand tapped you on the shoulder and you turned slightly, raising an eyebrow at the man with the Scottish accent. "If I flipped a coin, what do you think my chances are of getting head?"

A loud chuckle almost bubbled from your lips; from your throat and you had to put your hand over your mouth to conceal it. A couple of guys here had said some cheesy pickup lines to you tonight, but this one was pretty good.

"Not bad, but a guy would usually buy me a drink first before they flirt with me."

The brown-haired male let out his own chuckle before ordering them both a drink. It was certainly a surprise when he somehow knew the type of drink you liked and you made your surprise known to this mysterious male, asking him how he knew what drink you liked.

"Lucky guess. My name is Xavier. Charles Xavier." He introduced himself.

"The names Y/N. Y/N L/N."

"A beautiful name for a beautiful man." Charles said with a cheeky grin. "Would you like to get something to eat later?"

"Sorry, I'm supposed to be meeting someone." You responded, but you sounded anything but sorry in your reply.

"No, you're not."

"And how would you know that?"

"Well, you've talked to a few people here, and you ordered about two drinks so far. I'm positive that you wouldn't do that if you were waiting for someone."

You hummed, taking a sip from your drink. "So, you've been watching me interact with people and counting my drinks for most of the night, huh?"

"I'd love to tell you about it over dinner."

Despite just meeting this handsome stranger with a cute accent, you took him up on his offer to have dinner. You didn't know what it was about him, but there was something so mysterious about him; something that made you want to get to know him. You don't usually go out with a guy this fast, but you knew that you could take care of yourself if he was a huge creep or tried to pull something. You didn't take karate when you were a teenager for nothing.

But, that night had proven to be one of the best nights of your life. You two had spent that night and the next day getting to know each other. Before you knew it, a relationship had formed between you two, and you couldn't have been happier.

It was a few months into the relationship when Charles had informed you that he was a mutant and possesses the power of telepathy. He knew from day one that you would accept his mutation from reading your mind and from hearing how highly you speak of mutant rights. This only made him fall more in love with you.

The relationship was going great, but there is always something — or rather someone in this case — that threatens to tear down the relationship. How fun.

"How about next Saturday?" Charles suggested nonchalantly, eating a piece of the funnel cake that you both decided to share.

Today, you both decided to go to the Carnival and it was filled with laughter, roller-coaster riding, and undeniable happiness. Your favorite part about this whole day was hearing your boyfriend scream when he went on the rides and spending most of the afternoon with him.

Now, you both were sitting at a table, sharing some funnel cake as you both tried to decide on what day would be good for Charles to meet your father since dad has been asking to meet him.

You had already met his sister, Raven. She had taken some time to warm up to the fact that her brother was dating a human, but after seeing how happy the telepath was with you, she decided to give you the benefit of the doubt, and in time, the blonde started to like you more. She had finally stopped looking at you with a death glare upon finding out how much you support mutant rights. And from that point, you two grew closer.

"Can't do that day. My father is going on a trip with some friends to Vegas. He'll be gone for two weeks, so you can meet him after that." You replied, swiping a piece of funnel cake for yourself.

"Wonderful. I cannot wait to meet him." The telepath expressed earnestly. He hasn't met a single person from your family yet and he was dying to meet your father. The man who you tend to speak highly of sometimes.

"I can't wait for you to meet him, too." You forced a smile and gave him a thumbs up to hide what you're really feeling.

Charles' baby blue eyes examined your facial features for a second before he spoke up. "You don't want me to meet your father." He stated, as a mere fact.

"Did you just read my mind?"

"Nope, I told you that I wouldn't read your mind again without permission. And besides, I don't need to read it since it's clearly written on your face." He promptly reached over and took your hand in his. "Want to explain to me why you don't want me to meet your dad?"

"I-It’s not that I don’t want you to meet him. It’s just—“ You let out a small sigh. “My dad isn’t really an accepting man when it comes to mutants, so I’m sure he won’t be too happy when he finds out his son is dating a man who can read people’s thoughts."

Your dad not being an accepting man isn't relatively new to you. He didn't outright accept the fact that you like the same sex, and it took him years to finally come around to the idea that this is who you are. But when it comes to mutants — individuals with extraordinary gifts — you already knew that he wouldn't be too thrilled with the idea of his son dating one.

So, how the hell are you supposed to tell your dad that you're dating a mutant? You had no fucking clue. This is all gonna blow up in your face and become a—

"Honey, you are thinking too loud." Charles' voice reverberated through your ears, effectively snapping you out of the thoughts spewing in the back of your mind.

"Sorry, I'm just a bit worried about you meeting my father for the first time."

"It is quite alright." The brunette lips curled up into a smile as he gave your hand a gentle squeeze. "And don't worry so much. Everything will be fine and I'll make sure that your dad loves me, even though I'm a mutant. I can always use my Scottish charm on him."

A low laugh bubbled from your throat. "Alright, I hear you. I'll make sure to let my dad know about this meeting. And." Your hand lowered considerably until you were right at his crotch, rubbing his member that was starting to get hard. Charles squirmed slightly as you palmed him through his pants, sparing a quick glance around to see that no one was looking in their direction. "You sure do have hot pipes and a beautiful accent. You could always show my dick how hot your pipes are, or I could always show your member a little appreciation in the bathroom for being an awesome boy boyfriend." You motioned to the bathroom close by and Charles found himself nodding his head rapidly in response, his dick already getting hard from you rubbing his member.

You made the telepath such a horny man, and at times, he often felt like he was back in college. Just as he was about to grab your hand and take you into the bathroom, you pulled your hand away from his member and spoke up. “But, we’ll have to do it later because I have to leave now.” You smirked.

Charles frowned in disbelief. “What? Y/N, you cannot in good faith leave me hard like this. I could get blue balls, you know?”

“Relax, you won’t get blue balls, and I have to go meet my brother and you have to go meet your sister.”

“Seriously?”

Charles pouted, a hand lowering as he rubbed your thigh up and down.

“Yeah, seriously. Let’s go.”

The brunette pursued his lips into a thin line as he waited for his hardness to go away before he sighed and relented. “Fine.”

You two remained sitting at the table to finish the rest of the funnel cake before you two blissfully walked back to each other’s cars, hands clasped together. It was very euphoric and a brief kiss was shared between the two before you hopped in the car and eased yourself gently onto the street, thoroughly unaware of the car that was following behind you.

Two pairs of large hands gripped the gray steering wheel in such a tight manner that his knuckles began turning white from the feeling of rage and anger residing inside him.

Erik gradually trailed behind the black car a certain H/C haired male was in. And that male grating on his last nerves for trying to take his man from him; for trying to take his Charles from him.

The metal man returned to New York City after a long, tedious month away. He figured that Charles needed some space away from him after he broke things off with them. Then, he would return and they would finally work on their relationship.

So, you could imagine how surprised and shocked he was to find out he was replaced with that H/C male. If this man thinks that he could take his telepath away from him, he has another thing in store for him.

How dare he— Erik didn’t even finish that thought as he pulled into the parking spot that was next to yours and watched as you exited your vehicle and entered a cafe. He stepped out of his car and followed after you.

It was quite crowded in here, but Erik still manages to stop you immediately. He intriguingly watched as you were conversing with some male behind the counter. His eyes narrowed on them. You and this male looked awfully close, what if you were cheating on Charles with this man? Erik would make sure you pay in blood if you are. For now, he walked closer until he was standing in line to listen to the conversation only to have one of the employees interrupt and start conversing with the male you were talking to.

"What did you need, Lucas?"

"I'm sorry to interrupt your conversation, boss, but Dylan threw up in the bathroom and he looks very dehydrated."

"Okay, I’ll go check on him. Y/N, can you work the register since Dylan's sick?"

"Um, I don’t work here."

"Please, Y/N."

"Fine, you're lucky that I love you."

You walked onto the other side and stood in front of the cash register and Erik shot you a glare before he concealed himself. You caught sight of the German and sent him a bright smile.

"Hello, sir. What can I get you?"

Erik was briefly taken aback by how enthusiastic and nice you were with him before he quickly realized that you didn’t know he was Charles’ ex, but cleared his throat and offered you a forced smile.

"Yes, can I get a Caramel Macchiato, and I’m not entirely sure what dessert to get. What would you recommend?" Erik figured that he needed to keep the conversation going for his plan to work.

You let out a humming sound, biting your lip and Erik thought you looked strangely cute when — The blue-eyed male cut that thought off and tarnished it from his mind. Why would he think that you, of all people, were cute? Erik internally shook his head and focused on what you had to say.

"I definitely recommend that you try the strawberry cake. And I promise that it’s not just because my sister-in-law baked it and would kill me if I didn’t tell people about it."

What surprised Erik next was that a chuckle left his throat after you spoke. "I’ll take that one then."

"Perfect."

Erik paid for his order and you brought him his coffee and strawberry cake. You plopped yourself back down onto the stool and Erik sat down in the one next to you since basically every spot in the cafe was taken. He took this time as an opportunity to talk to you, introducing himself as Steve, and asked you if you knew of any places in New York to go out and have a good time after you introduced yourself to him, giving him your name in the process. Y/N.

"If you're looking for somewhere fun to go during your time here, you should check out my brother's nightclub. It gets pretty wild and I'll be there tonight."

"Okay, I'll definitely check it out, and will you be going with your boyfriend over there?" Erik jerked his thumb over in the direction of the bathroom and you tracked his gaze.

You choked on your own spit. "Oh God no. That's not my boyfriend. That's my older brother, Julian."

Erik promptly flushed in embarrassment. It seems that you weren't cheating on his telepath, but that didn't mean that you were the right one for Charles. He was, and only him.

"Oh, my mistake." He cleared his throat awkwardly. "Well, I'll definitely check out your brother's club tonight. Hope I'll see you there."

Erik's plan could finally ensue, and he could get you out of his way. Then, he could have Charles all to himself again.

XXXXX XXXXX

Over a month.

That's how long it's been since Erik had met you for the first time, and so many things have changed since then, as well his feelings on the entire situation.

From the start, The German had one thing on his mind; one plan that he wanted to fulfill. To get you out of the picture, so he could have Charles back in his arms.

But now? Now, everything has changed, and it all started the day after he met up with you at your brother's nightclub.

He went back to your other brother's cafe and became friends with you. His only reason for wanting to become friends with you, in the beginning, was to get close to you, so he could have a chance at breaking you.

Then, as time passed by, he realized that he didn't want to break you; didn't want to break you and Charles up. Don't get him wrong, he still wants Charles, but his feelings for you have changed. He wanted you the way he wanted Charles. He wanted to be with both of you.

You were so full of life-giving warmth; so bright, brilliant, and caring. And over the past month, you two spent together, you never made Erik feel like he doesn't matter and seemed to actually care for him. Which made him confused, why would you even care for him? You don't even know him. But he supposed that was just the caring nature that made him want you so badly.

It also had to do with the fact that you, a simple human, were an advocate for mutant rights. Erik never really met another human that stands with them and is so passionate about it.

He wants to keep you all to himself. Just you, him, and Charles together. It's meant to be you three and no one else. But before that could happen, the metal mutant needs to tell you the truth.

He will soon, but for now, he will settle on watching you and Charles from afar until all three of you could be together.

Though it's a very good thing he was watching you guys because of what happened next, which made Erik want to kill with no remorse; with no hesitation.

You were tasked with watching your brother's nightclub since he was out of town and invited Charles over for a drink and just to spend time together. Once, the blue-eyed male excused himself to use the bathroom, a male Erik has never seen before entered the club. His eyes narrowed in suspicion. He knew all the people who were in your life like friends, family, co-workers, and he's never seen him in your life before and it was too early for him to even be at the club.

"Were not open until tonight, man." You announced, briefly sparing the man who entered the club a glance as you dried the glasses and placed them on the rack.

"I'm not here for this stupid club. I'm actually here to see you."

"Look, man, I really don't have time for—" You turned around, fully acknowledging the visitor this time, and you stilled, feeling your heart freeze as you watched fire materialize from his hands. "...This."

The male chuckled. "Oh, how I love seeing that scared expression on people's faces when they see me do this."

"What — What do you want?"

"That's quite simple, I want you dead, but I want you to suffer a painful death."

"What?! Dude, I don't even know you!"

"Sure you do, I'm Gene." Realization lit up in your eyes and he certainly registered the moment you realized who he was. "Yeah, I'm that Gene and your brother took away the girl I love, married her, and filled her head with lies about me, so." Large amounts of fire formed in his hand. "So, I'm going to kill his brother for stealing my girl from me. I think that sounds fair and don't think about calling for your telepath. He won't hear your call anyway, thanks to me and this ring on my finger, but enough talk. Let's get to it."

You put your hands up in surrender. "W-Wait, Gene. You don't have to do this. Please don't do this, man." You begged in an attempt to save your life as you called out to Charles in your mind, hoping that he would hear you; hear your plea, but it seems that he really couldn't hear you. But what the hell was taking him so long in the damn bathroom?

"See, that's where you're wrong. This is something that I need to do, and it's something that I'm going to do. And since the telepath or anyone won't hear your plea, this is the perfect time to do this. Why am I still talking? Your time is up. Say hello to your mom for me."

You shut your eyes tightly, fear clawing into your beating heart as you prepared yourself for the heat that was going to kill you. It's not like you could fight or outrun a dude who can shoot fire out of his hands. You're only hope was that Charles would come out of the damn bathroom and stop him right now.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."

A familiar voice bubbled through the atmosphere and thundered vigorously in the air around them. A choking sound filled the air and you forcefully opened your eyes. The sight before you had E/C widening in surprise and shock. You just stood behind the bar, unable to move, feeling as if your feet were stuck to the ground.

Gene was levitating in the air, his eyes wide with fear as the necklace around his throat began strangling. Steve — your friend Steve — was strangling Gene without even touching him. Only using his hand. And there was a dangerous fire in his eyes as he stared at the back of Gene's head. It was inexplicable rage and you've never seen rage like that on a man before.

And it was in that precise moment when you came to the sudden realization that your friend is a mutant, and seems to be a powerful one, considering the metal in the room began shaking violently.

"You're going to learn not to mess with what's mine." Steve spoke, voice low and gruff, walking over to stand beside you who was still frozen in place. Breaking glass could be heard throughout the room and large shards of them floated right in front of Gene's face; his body. "You will learn and we'll regret ever trying to kill Y/N. And no one will be able to stop me from killing you right now."

You managed to snap back to reality when your name fell from Steve's lips. Somehow, you found the willpower to move again and carefully placed a hand on Steve's unoccupied one, causing him to glance your way.

"Steve, wait a minute. Just—"

"Y/N!" Both men whipped their heads to the left and you let out a sigh of relief at seeing Charles finally come out of that damn bathroom. "Something's wrong, I can't hear anything and someone locked me in the bathroom. Are you —" Charles paused at seeing his ex-boyfriend standing right next to his current boyfriend. He looked from the levitating man in the room to you to Erik. "What the hell are you doing here, Erik?!"

"Erik?" You questioned quietly, looking back and forth between the two men.

The metal man simply returned his gaze back to the floating man as he replied with three simple words. "Saving Y/N'S life." Those three words seemed to resonate with Charles' ears as he looked over at you, and Erik's voice turned dark. "And I'm going to kill him now."

"Erik, stop. Don't kill this man. Be the better man."

"Be the better man? Really, Charles? This man tried to kill Y/N, and you expect me to have mercy on him? No. He's, he's dead for what he tried to do."

"I expect you not to kill this man. He will get what he deserves, but death isn't the answer." The telepath tried once again to reason in with the other brunette, in a desperate attempt to try and stop him from killing.

"No way will I allow him to breathe —"

Let him go." You spoke up as Erik and Charles looked over at you. Your E/C eyes met Erik's blue ones. "Just let him go and we'll take care of this without violence."

Erik's eyes softened as he looked at you, finally taking in the words you and Charles were saying to him. He wanted to kill Gene; wanted to show him what a true monster looked like as he pleaded for death, but he didn't want you or Charles to fear him. And from the look in your eyes, it seems that you did. Erik didn't want to see fear sparkle in those E/C of yours, which is why he discarded the shards of glass from the man's face, and he dropped to the ground with a loud thud.

The ring that resided on Gene's finger was now in Erik's hold and Charles used his power to knock him out once he was no longer being protected by the ring.

Now that Gene would no longer be an issue, you hysterically spoke up.

"Okay, someone needs to explain to me what's going on here, and why my friend is called Erik and not Steve."

"Well, for starters, his." He pointed a finger at the German. "Name isn't Steve. His name is Erik Lehnsherr, my ex."

"You're ex? The one who has a problem with respecting boundaries?"

"Yeah, and it still seems that he hasn't learned to respect them yet." Charles' eyes narrowed on Erik. "What exactly were you even doing here in the first place? How did you know that Y/N needed saving and what was your purpose for lying to him? I want the truth."

A sigh left the blue-eyed male's lips. He didn't plan on divulging the truth about who he really was to you yet, but it looks like he didn't have a choice. He stared into Charles' baby blue eyes, and he didn't want to lie to him or you.

"The truth is —" The metal man sighed. "The truth is that I was unbelievably pissed when I discovered that you were in a relationship with someone who was not me." He admitted truthfully. It took a lot of effort for him to even admit that truth. "In the beginning, I only decided to become Y/N’s friend to get him out of the way and get back together with you."

"Of course you did." Charles muttered as if he wasn't surprised by Erik's answer.

"I'm sorry for doing all of this Charles, but —"

"Sorry won't change anything Erik." The telepath snapped. "I told you to respect my wishes and you didn't. Not only do you not respect my boundaries and wishes, but you lied to Y/N and only got close to him to get rid of him. What the bloody hell were you thinking?!"

For some reason, that question seemed to anger Erik on another level as metal in the room began shaking furiously.

"What was I thinking?" Erik asked slowly as he tilted his head to the side. "I was a broken mess after you decided to break things off with me; with us, and you ask me what I was thinking?" He scoffed. "I found out that you moved on with another man as if you never loved me."

"Of course I loved you, Erik!" Charles screamed as your eyes widened in shock at hearing so much pain in his voice that made you feel like you were intruding on them in your brother's place. "But you seem to have a problem with respecting my boundaries."

"Because I love you; because you're the only person that I've ever loved before. I've had a really hard life and it broke me inside. No one ever loved me before my mother until you came along and showed me true happiness. And I can't let that go. I won't." The last two words were screamed at Charles through the growl that left his throat, causing the metal to explode throughout the room as you were sent flying into the wall, due to the metal necklace you were wearing. The back of your head hit the glass frame on the wall, blood leaking from the back of your head.

"Y/N!" Charles and Erik simultaneously shouted and you could see them running over to you before darkness overtook and everything went black.

XXXXX XXXXX

"Ow, fuck."

You awoke slowly to the sound of an annoying beeping sound pulsating around the room, properly regaining consciousness.

The first thing you did upon awakening was place the back of your hand against your forehead. Your head was hurting like a bitch, pounding in your skull. You took notice of the IV in your arm and that made you instantly aware of where you were. In a hospital. You've always hated hospitals ever since you were a kid.

Just then, footsteps sounded from outside the room. The door opened and Charles stepped inside the room.

"Y/N." Charles shouted in relief at seeing you awake, coming over and sitting in the chair next to the bed. He took ahold of your hand. "I'm so glad to see that you're awake. How are you feeling?"

"Like shit." Your throat was so sore. It sounded in your voice as you sat up slightly into a proper sitting position. "And my head is killing me."

"I'm sorry, Y/N. This should have never happened to you, and this is kinda my fault, considering that the only reason you got hurt was because my ex wanted me back." The blue-eyed male sincerely apologized, and you wondered why he even felt the need to apologize.

It's not his fault that Steve — no, Erik — tried to get rid of you for being with his ex and sent you flying into glass.

I loved you, Erik! The words suddenly shot in your mind, and they were raw, filled with so much pain and emotion behind those four words.

"Do you still love him?" You suddenly asked, looking at him in the eyes and wanting him to confirm your suspicion. You saw the way they looked at each other; saw what truly was behind those eyes when they spoke in the club.

Charles bit his lip and looked away before looking back over at you. "I do still love him." He admitted and you nodded, figuring as much as hurt flashed briefly in your eyes. Your boyfriend managed to catch onto the hurt in your eyes. "But, I do love you —"

Charles was promptly cut off when the doctor entered the room. You took your hand out of Charles' and sent the doctor a smile. The doctor checked the IV bag before asking you different diagnostic questions, how you were feeling and explained the extent of your injuries to you.

The doctor said that he would come back after making sure that you would be okay to leave. Just then, the nurse walked in and claimed that your brother is here to see you.

"My brother?" You questioned quietly with skepticism present in your voice. Micah and his wife went to California for a vacation and Charles mentioned that he wasn't able to reach Julian, so who was here?

Your question was answered a moment later when Erik sheepishly walked into the room without that helmet you saw on his head earlier. He had a boutique of flowers and placed them down on the desk before shutting the door, causing you and Charles to tense up slightly.

"What are you doing here?"

"I-I came here to apologize to you, Y/N." Erik confessed, momentarily surprising the other two males in the room as he sat at the foot of the hospital bed. "I'm sorry for everything that I've done, especially for hurting you and putting you in the hospital. I didn't mean to do that, and I'm sorry. I'm also sorry for trying to get rid of you when I found out that you were dating Charles. It's just, I love him so much, but I also —"

"You don't need to finish that." You cut Erik off, silencing him. "You two still love each other very much, and maybe you both should be together again. I don't want to come in between that."

It does hurt to know that the man you love does love someone else, but if they still loved each other, then maybe it is best if you ended it with Charles. Staying in a relationship with someone who loves someone else will only hurt more.

"No!" Erik screamed, causing you to stare at him in surprise. He will not be apart from you or Charles ever again. "I may love Charles, but I do love you, too. And Charles." Erik turned to face the telepath who hasn't stopped staring at him since he arrived. "I know that you love both of us." Now, he turned to face you who looked a little flustered. "And I know you love Charles and may not love me, but I'm sure that you feel something. All three of us can be together if you want to, that is."

"Well." Your voice wavered a bit, still in shock from his revelation. "I guess we could make this work. I mean, I know that you two still love each other, and you both seem to love me, so I can try and have a relationship with you. What do you think, Charles?"

Charles smiled. "I think we can make this work. The three of us." He walked over to stand near you guys and took both you and Erik's hands hesitantly. "I do love you both, and I want to thank you Erik for apologizing to Y/N and for saving his life. That was really big of you."

"Anytime, and thanks for agreeing with this Y/N, despite not loving me the way I love you." Erik voiced.

You didn't say anything. Just smiled at both of them and laid back down. You were so tired, especially from this crazy day you've had. You didn't know how you found yourself in a relationship with two other people, especially with someone who injured you, but you weren't going to complain. You did feel something for Erik after spending time with him. It wasn't love, but it was something.

On top of all of that, your dad still needed to meet Charles now that he was back from Vegas later than you thought.

How the hell were you supposed to explain to your dad that you're dating two people? And not two regular humans, but mutants?

You weren't sure and he probably wasn't going to take it well, but for now, you would focus on getting better, and spending time with your boyfriends.

XXXXX XXXXX

[bamfdaddio]

X-Men Abridged: 1981

The X-Men, those back-to-the-future mutants that have sworn to protect a world that hates and fears them, are a cultural juggernaut with a long, tangled history. Want to unravel this tapestry? Then read the Abridged X-Men!

(Uncanny X-Men 141 - 152) - by Chris Claremont and John Byrne, Brent Anderson, Dave Cockrum, Jim Sherman, Bob McLeod and Josef Rubinstein

While I also committed various fashion atrocities at the age of 14 (tye-die and fauxhawks, oh my), even Liberace would find Kitty’s outfits too much. (Uncanny X-Men 149; Uncanny X-Men Annual ‘81)

We dial back from the v. epic scope of the last few arcs. Instead, 1981 is just a lot of fun! We get:

Storm and Emma doing a Freaky Friday!

the X-Men vs. Magneto (again!)

A surprisingly effective Alien rip-off

An dystopian future! (OoOoOoOo)

Last year was the year of the Dark Phoenix, this is the year of Kitty Pryde. That’s not to say Jean’s death is swept under the rug: all throughout, we see her friends mourning her loss or remembering her fondly. (Scott even gets to have a demonic adventure about it.) But in general, Claremont puts Kitty in the forefront, fleshing out his YA-addition to the team. And what would a YA heroine be without a grim dystopia? Roll out the iconic Days of Future Past!

To be fair, 2013 was a dark time for all of us: What Does the Fox Say somehow got to the top of the charts and I was still watching Glee. (Uncanny X-Men 141)

How cool would it have been to see a name like Jonothon Starsmore or Eva Bell on those tombstones?

Anyway, that’s Kate. Kate’s had it rough. Mutants are at the bottom of the foodchain, most X-Men are dead and only a small cadre of resistance fighters remain, Sentinels dominate, and while she is married to Piotr, her children have been murdered. Bleak. Luckily, the rebellion has concocted the plan to shunt Kate’s spirit back in time to prevent this awful future from happening. (You’ve seen Days of Future Past, the last passably good X-Men film, you know what’s up.)

Let’s do the time warp again! 1981!Kitty’s mind gets taken over by 2013!Kitty, who promptly tries to convince the X-Men that a new Brotherhood of v. Evil Mutants will try to kill Senator Kelly, a presidential candidate who tries to put the mutant menace on the agenda. (Mutants tend to blow stuff up when he’s around.) Since the X-Men recently took a literal trip to Dante’s Infero and also befriended a cosmic world-ending entity, they basically shrug and go: “Yeah, this checks out.”

Off to Washington they go (zoommm) and there, they happen upon the Baddest Bitches in Herstory:

“How dare you hate mutants, senator Kelly! We’ll fix that by killing you!” (Uncanny X-Men 141)

This All-New, All-Different Brotherhood consists out of:

Destiny, a blind woman who can see the future. Definitely the eeriest member of this group. Badass lesbian, though that won´t be canon for years.

Avalanche. Greek who makes things shake. Is a long-standing member of the X-Men Rogue’s gallery, but rarely features in the spotlight. I think he got more characterization in four years of X-Men Evolution than he ever did in the comics.

Mystique. Shapeshifter. Ruthless and unhinged, the Cersei Lannister of the X-Men universe. Absolute legend, secretly the wife of Destiny, currently not as unhinged as she’ll be later. Immediately implied to be related to Nightcrawler: it’s the yellow-eyes-blue-skin-combo.

Pyro. Can manipulate fire, not create it. Absolute pillock, in all the best ways of the word. Originally intended as gay, but they decided to make him Australian instead. (?!)

Blob. Big, strong, immovable. We’ve seen him before.

One of the details in this fight I enjoy is that Storm is still struggling with her leadership, although she has a better grip on things than Cyclops:

Wolverine then proceeds to use those iconic but deadly claws about twice per issue for the next, oh, forty years. (Uncanny X-Men 142)

While the X-Men fight the Brotherhood in the present, we cut back and forth to the future. There, the X-Men consist out of some familiar faces - Storm, Colossus, Wolverine - and some surprises: Magneto (in a wheelchair), Franklin Richards (son of) and an unfamiliar ginger girl called Rachel. (She’ll be important later.) We even learn (one of) Magneto’s names: this is the first time he’s canonically called Magnus.

One of the strengths of Days of Future Past lies in its brevity, the way it tantalizingly taunts us with a brutal but familiar future without giving away too much. It’s single-handedly responsible for all those dark future timelines the X-lines are so fond of which will eventually culminate in time-displaced grandsons from alternative dimensions and the impossibility of a succinct answer to the question: “Who’s Cable?” Too much of a good thing and all that.

Still, what Days of Future Past does so successfully is:

Put the idea of the mutant menace back at the forefront, hammering home the metaphor of mutants being a minority. Mutants being put in camps and being forbidden to breed should - regretfully - make us think of all too many real life equivalents. (Specifically, all of the imagery harkens back to the Holocaust.)

It starkly shows what happens should the X-Men lose, reminding everyone of the stakes. The X-Men are here for a reason: bridging the gap between mutants and humankind. If they fuck up, we end up with mutant concentration camps.

It helps that the X-Men in the future almost all die horribly: Franklin is incinerated, Storm is impaled… It's brutal stuff. The only one to survive is Rachel, who wonders if their plan actually changed the future or if they created an alternative timeline. (It did the latter, sorry ‘bout it, Rachel.)

In the present, Kate chases after Destiny, who trains a gun on senator Kelly. I always wondered how this works: if Destiny saw the future, she knew that killing Kelly would trigger a terrifying future. What in the current Marvel timeline made her decide that the Days of Future Past was better? Did she see her own death? Did she see the Onslaught-crossover coming? The Chuck Austen run? What was it?

In any case, time-anomalous Kate stops Destiny from killing Kelly and the future is safe! For now. Kate disappears, Kitty returns to her body and some of the Brotherhood are apprehended. All is well, for now.

After being a key figure in DoFP, Kitty is also the main character in the Christmas special, which is basically a straight up horror and a pastiche of the Alien-movie.

Seriously, John Byrne still isn’t sure why he wasn’t sued by Ridley Scott for this. (Uncanny X-Men 143)

If you love Kitty Pryde? Read this issue. If you’re not convinced you like 80’s Kitty? Read this issue. It’s not continuity relevant and it’s basically Kitty playing the part of a Final Girl in a horror where she’s being chased by a demon, but it’s so good. It showcases all her strengths and her foibles. Kitty’s intelligent, cute (sometimes preciously so) and brave, but she’s also young, self-conscious and hot-headed. And it's not as if the other X-Men automatically adore her: Storm berates her all the time, she’s afraid of Kurt because of the way he looks (though she grows out of that) and she fights with Professor Xavier a lot. Moreover, she has a clever power-set for a young superhero who faces menaces on a daily basis: a thirteen year old who can go intangible is far less likely to have reality ensue on her and be dramatically offed because she's better at protecting herself.

I’m sure there are people who thought Sprite was hogging the spotlight, but I, for one, say she brings more to the table than, say, Angel. She’s not the Dawn Summers of this franchise.

Scott also gets a side quest. Poor guy can’t catch a break: first the love of his life dies, so he quits the X-Men, then he realizes he can’t do much else than be a superhero. He becomes a sailor on the ship of spunky captain Lee Forrester, is drawn into the sadistic plans of a demon unironically named D’Spayre and then shipwrecks in Bermuda with Lee.

The X-Men, meanwhile, are tormented by a team-up of Doom (who’s currently Latverialess and working on a comeback) and Arcade, that annoying crony. Locke, Arcade’s dom, has kidnapped the loved ones of the X-Men (Moira MacTaggart, Jean Grey’s parents, Illyana Rasputin and Amanda Sefton) in order to blackmail them into getting Doom to free Arcade. Apparently, Arcade accidentally insulted Doom and DOOM DOES NOT FORGIVE THAT FOLLY.

While the B-Squad (Polaris, Havok, Banshee and Iceman) goes to save Arcade’s hostages, the X-Men sneak into Doom’s castle. Well, except for Storm, who doesn’t give a single fuck and simply flies up to Doom, demanding an audience. Doom likes the cut of her jib and invites her to have dinner. (This is pre-Tinder, so this is a legit way of scoring a date.)

If Storm has a flaw (I said if!), it’s got to be her atrocious taste in men. (Uncanny X-Men 145)

The X-Men find Arcade’s cell empty, while Arcade casually saunters up to Storm and says hi. Storm realizes too late that this is a trap: while the X-Men are all trapped in Saw-like traps, Storm is encased in ‘living chrome’.

If you remember she’s claustrophobic, you know why this is a bad move.

While the X-Men free themselves from their traps - Polaris hilariously has to deal with a murderous merry-go-round - Storm is slowly driven mad in her prison, triggering a worldwide tempest. (She causes Lee and Scott to shipwreck.) Under the threat of Wolverine’s claws, Doom releases Storm - or rather, unleashes her.

“Instead of a Dark Lord, you would have a queen, not dark but beautiful and terrible as the dawn! Tempestuous as the sea, and stronger than the foundations of the earth! All shall love me and despair!” (Uncanny X-Men 147)

The memory of Jean brings Ororo back to herself and she starts undoing the superstorm she created. (If only climate change were reversed that easily.) Their confrontation ends by Storm easily forgiving Doom, because she apparently trespassed on his grounds without adequate cause.

Mkay.

All of Arcade’s hostages return to their homesteads, except for Illyana Rasputin, Piotr’s sister: she’s staying at the mansion for a while. Angel, who’s sort of been a part of the team since the Phoenix thing, has had it with Wolverine and his ‘tude, and decides to quit the X-Men : he doesn’t want to be a part of an outfit that has a killer like Wolverine on it. (Or maybe he’s just mad Claremont didn’t give him any storylines: his presence has been mostly pointless.) It’s too bad he left before Kitty started experimenting with her outfits: I bet he would have loved her ugly-ass costumes.

Equally inconsequential is the introduction of a brand new character, who then proceeds to disappear from the narrative for the rest of the year:

Black Tom has tried to kill you at least twice, but him sending you a long-lost daughter doesn’t give you pause? Ugh, Sean, you deserve Moira. (Uncanny X-Men 148)

Intrigued by Theresa? TOO BAD, WON’T SEE HER AGAIN ANYTIME SOON.

Another new character is the lonely, decidedly mutant looking Caliban, who can sense “people like him” and is on the lookout for companions. Like many lonely people who try and grasp at friendship, he decides to overshoot his shot and ruin the night of Storm, Kitty and Jessica Drew at a Dazzler concert. Because he tries to kidnap Kitty, the girls react a trifle aggressively. When they realize their mistake - the eerily pale Caliban is a simpleton rather than a menace - he’s already fled. No mention is made of the Morlocks yet!

There’s also another dull annual where the X-Men team up with the Fantastic Four to save Arkon’s dimension from the Badoon and yaaaaawn. Far more interesting is the landmark issue #150. Slowly, through the adventures of Scott and Lee Forrester, Claremont has been setting things up for the return of a favorite villain. While the X-Men investigate Magneto’s old base in Antarctica on a hunch of Professor X and tangle with Garruk, Scott and Lee survive Storm’s tempest, only to wake up next to a strange island that seems to have been raised from the ocean.

It’s apparently some ancient citadel from a long forgotten civilization with a fondness for squid statues. (I don’t know man, I’ve never been to the Bermuda Triangle, maybe this is just super-accurate.)The tentacles make Lee Forrester feel very amorous, but before Scott can tell her he is way too repressed to just have sex with an attractive someone he’s known intimately for a month or two, Magneto saves his ass by revealing he, in fact, raised this island from the seafloor.

Oh, Magneto. So extra.

My ambitious little mutant demagogue then proceeds to take the entire world hostage, showing how much he’s grown from the pompous, raving madman from the sixties. (Sure, Magneto is still a bit of a madman, but increasingly, he starts being on the right side of history.)

“I’m trying to make Magneto more sympathetic.”

“Just put him on a page with some bigger villains who are less noble, like the Vanisher, Count Nefaria, or…”

“Reagan, Thatcher and Brezhnov?”

“Er.” (Uncanny X-Men 150)

It’s obvious Magneto is being pivoted as a more noble villain, codified into the well-intentioned extremist we know and love today. Not only do we get the first hints at his past, fleshing out his motivations, he’s also not wrong. Humans are historically not great at taking care of the planet or each other.

When the Russians call his bluff and launch nukes at Magneto’s new island, he quickly disarms them. His retribution is swift and ferocious: the entire citadel is a machine that massively amplifies his powers. He sinks the submarine that launched the missiles, condemning the entire crew to death, and he casually erects a vulcano in a Russian city in Siberia.

Damn. Not messing around this time.

Despite his good intentions, Magneto is still definitely in the wrong: not only because of his methods, but as Scott points out: if Magneto unifies the world under his kind of benevolent dictatorship, all of that will simply fall apart as soon as Magnus dies.

In a way, Magneto is just as big a dreamer as Charles is: Charles believes in peace and integration, whereas Magneto believes his iron fist will be enough to make a perfect world happen. Both of them ignore the reality that acceptance is difficult and messy, because you’re trying to change essential human nature: the fear of the other. Magneto believes in big, sweeping gestures that will fix the world in move, while changing the world is also boring, hard work. One step forward, two steps back. Magneto just wants to leapfrog to his ultimate goal.

The X-Men fly over the citadel, returning from Antarctica, and their plane crashes into the ocean. (Magneto does not brook planes over his territory, humans!) The Professor is also nearby, looking for Scott with Moira, Peter Corbeau and Carol Danvers. The X-Men sneak onto the island, but to their horror, their powers are nullified by some machine of Magneto. They reunite with Scott, who formulates a plan to thwart the would-be ruler of the world.

While the rest of the X-Men go to trash the machine, Storm, Kitty and Lee infiltrate the control chamber where Storm finds a sleeping, shirtless Magneto. Once again showing her terrible taste in men, she is not weak in the knees at the sight of a sleeping Magnus: instead, she contemplates killing him.

Storm knows how dangerous he is, but she also knows that he’s a great man who’s fighting for ideals, no matter how misguided. She hesitates too long: Magneto stirs, suspects an attack and tosses her out of the window, to her death.

Magneto quickly undoes the sabotage the other X-Men have wrought to his machine. A fight erupts. Storm, meanwhile, has managed to grab hold of a ledge. She crawls back up and smashes an important-looking computer, restoring everyone’s powers.

The battle turns grim, but Scott sends Kitty away to wreck Magneto’s machinery. She sneaks off, following Scott’s orders and destroying both Magneto's power-up device and all of his plans by phasing though the computer circuitry. Magneto senses this and furiously gives chase. Overcome by rage, he attacks Kitty and disrupts her phasing power with a magnetic bolt, seemingly killing her?

Everything about this story beat is great: mama bear!Ororo, mournful Magnus and even the fact that Kitty’s godawful outfit serves a narrative function: highlighting to us (and Magneto) just how young she is. The fact that Kitty’s Jewish is just icing on the cake. (Uncanny X-Men 150)

And thus, the softening of Magneto commences. 1981 might be a year with wildly varying narratives, but it has given us at least three enduring legacies to the X-Mythos: a new kind of Magneto, a fondness for dystopian futures and the character of Kitty Pryde, who's really come into her own this year.

Ugliest Costume: Kitty! Purposefully, but still. Best costume, by the way, goes to Destiny, with her creepy, creepy golden mask. Just imagine this lady casually strolling across a battlefield, eerily calm and collected, dodging everything you throw at her. Awesome design.

Best new character: I usually pick one character - what good is having a shared award when declaring the best of anything? - but this year, it’s going to one of my favorite couples: Mystique and Destiny. Can’t wait to see more of them.

Most audacious retcon: Blob somehow retroactively becomes a member of the original Brotherhood, which is not what happened. Ever weirder is Xavier pondering that he never met Magneto before his attack in X-Men #1, while their cordially adversarial relationship rooted in a youthful friendship would soon become a cornerstone of the X-Men.

What to read: Uncanny X-Men 141 - 143 and 150 - 152

[raj-veerapen]

Shatterpoint

Location: Xavier’s Penthouse Time: About a month and a half after Ship-Wrecked wrapped Featuring: Raj and Xavier @xaviernottheprofessor  Note: THE SADS ARE HERE

Raj had been in a strange, angry mood from the moment that Amaya had told him that she had enrolled part time at the university and that Xavier was paying her tuition. On the one hand, he was glad that she was pursing her education, that Amaya had actually completely on her own come up with a plan b in her own way. On the other, Raj felt guilty. Amaya had always told him that she didn't want to go to college, that she didn't see the point when she already had her career, and he had supported her. And had he known the truth, he would have figured out a way to make it work. Maybe he would have gotten a second job, or taken on more shifts at the bar, but he could have figured it out.

And instead it just felt like his daughter felt like she couldn't provide for her, so Amaya found someone that could.

With time, you'll get over it, Raj kept trying to tell himself as he went into Xavier's hotel room, and for the millionth time had to wonder what was the point in having such a giant hotel room. Which was another thing that he had been keeping to himself, but it was so hard not to just guess at the price tag (especially when one night Raj had been particularly curious and had looked at how much it cost and immediately regretted looking). "Hey," he said, trying to give his boyfriend a smile, "You sounded excited earlier, what's up?"

Xavier had been working on some sketch writing so that he would have time to spend with Raj and Amaya that night. He had pre-planned having them come over for dinner. He'd cook and hopefully have the chance to reveal the good news. With that, he had hoped to talk more about Amaya's request to attend University. It had definitely come to mind that Raj needed to know and that he didn't want to overstep. She had come to him in private and had even asked that it stays between them but there was no way he'd keep this quiet. He would never keep anything from Raj and he didn't want to cause any problems. All of that he would talk about over dinner before the big surprise.

Anyone that knew Xavier knew how excited he had been about finding a place in California. It meant he'd be able to call a place a home, spend more time there, and share it with Raj and Amaya. When they had initially talked about the prospects of moving, he knew it was a touchy subject with Raj not wanting something too obnoxious. He would take all of that into consideration including Amaya's wish for a space to dance. Xavier just wanted them near and out of the apartment they had been sharing with Raj's roommates.

Raj already had a key card to the suite and when he heard someone at the door, he really hoped it wasn't work-related. Poking his head out from the other room and catching Raj's smile, Xavier stood up and walked over to him, pressing a kiss to his lips. "Well, I was going to wait for Amaya to join us for dinner but I had to tell you first and talk to you about my conversation with her earlier first, how was your day? I missed you. I always look forward to Thursdays because I can see you."

"If it's about her going back to school, she ended up telling me the day after you left," Raj admitted, working hard to keep his voice neutral so that he would be able to keep all of his mixed feelings out of it. And even then, there was still an edge to it that wasn't typically there that he couldn't help but hope Xavier would miss. "My day was pretty boring, we had a bachelorette party last night that somehow missed the vibe of the bar and we ended up having to clean until 4:30 this morning, but my boss let me have tonight off as a result so I'm all yours."

"Oh. Well, I'm glad she told you. I wanted to talk to you about it as well and make sure everything is alright with that." He searched Raj's face for any signs of him being upset or glad or neither. For the first time in their time together, Xavier couldn't gauge his boyfriend. "Oh no, I'm sorry to hear that. You must be exhausted. I'll make you a nice dinner and pamper the shit out of you?" He smiled, taking Raj's hand so they could go sit on the sofa. "All mine. I love the sounds of that. I honestly just want to cuddle up on the couch and talk. I've heard back from my realtor, the one Thomas hooked me up with and they've been amazing. There's this place, Raj that I can't wait to show you."

"Yeah, everything's fine," Raj insisted, even though he was lying through his teeth, "I just didn't realize that she had been interested in going back so it was a little bit of a shock," he admitted, hoping that would explain away any weirdness that he was going on.  "Really, it's fine, I'd rather help make dinner, I got a full night's....well technically day's sleep," Raj assured him as he sat next to him on the couch. Part of him wanted to just rest his head on Xavier's shoulder and ignore everything else, but he figured that he could nod through the listing and actually have time to think about it later. "Okay, let's see it," he nodded. (edited)

"Okay." He offered Raj a smile, choosing to lean in to steal another kiss once they were both sitting on the sofa. "I know it happened so fast and I wanted to talk to you about it. I'm glad she told you though. That makes me happy hearing she's open with you about it." Xavier wished Raj let him pamper him here and there. It did feel like pulling teeth often. While Xavier knew it wasn't purposeful or to hurt his feelings, he did want to do more. Acts of service were his love language but he understood Raj had difficulty accepting gifts. "Alright, we can cook together, then." He reached for the sheet sitting on the coffee table and excitedly handed it to his boyfriend. "It's a beautiful place. I've only done the virtual tour because of work and all but it has a huge space for Amaya's dance studio and the garden is perfect for you. We can get some tomatoes and basil and all of that going! I just know how much you will love it. There's this family that is going to leave a big offer on it so I left one too. I lowballed on purpose. Gives us time to counter if you like it. If not, I'll drop the offer altogether."

It was habit to look at the price first, and Raj's eyes almost popped out of his head when he saw the price tag on the house. 19.5 million dollars. 19.5 million dollars. It was more money than Raj had ever thought possible for one person to have. It was the kind of money that if he had all of it would have already been given away instead of being used on something like this. It was already hard enough to wrap his mind around the fact that the penthouse they were currently in cost more in two days than Raj made in a year, but this......this was the line that was crossed into everything being too much.

On the island, everything about their relationship made it feel like they had a partnership. But now, Raj just felt the opposite. Xavier was making all the decisions, paying for everything, and even seemed to have issues with Raj wanting to help with simple things like cooking: things that Raj had been looking forward to them being able to do together.

It was starting to feel Raj wasn't even there. And him being able to contribute to their life? Well that clearly wasn't going to happen any time soon either.

"You already made an offer?" Raj asked, with some of the pent up anger that he had been holding in for he wasn't even sure how long, "You really couldn't have spent five seconds and texted me the listing and asked what I thought first?"

Nothing. There was no reaction at first but Xavier knew Raj well enough to know he wasn't exactly thrilled. And now that Raj had posed the question, Xavier felt awful. Something that was meant to be a surprise, a step in a new direction, a future for the three of them definitely now felt like he had overstepped.

"I..." He took the listing back and folded it before placing it back on the table. "That's not it at all but i see why it looks that way. I just wanted to surprise you but I know I've fucked up and I'm sorry. I should have come to you first. Look. Just forget the whole thing, I'll let the offer fall through and we can look for something else together. I'm sorry, baby I wasn't-- I wasn't trying to over step here."

For the first time since they got back, Raj wished that they were back on the island. Everything worked there when they didn't have to worry about anything like this, it was the beauty of it.

But in real life? The chances of them ever meeting were practically zero, and Raj was starting to see the reason why.

"I don't want you to surprise me. I hate surprises and literally anyone who actually gets to know me fucking knows that, Xavier!" the words came out of his mouth before Raj could stop them, "And then Amaya.........." his voice cracked in a way that Raj hadn't expected and he could feel tears about to fall that he wasn't about to get into. "This isn't working," he finally quietly said. It felt final, and Raj hated it, but with how things were going, it also felt inevitable.

The world could have swallowed him whole and he would have been okay with it. Xavier swallowed the lump that had been forming in his throat as Raj vented. He was right. Of course he knew. But the prospects of a house was always part of the plan or rather, his plan. Had Xavier really ignored the obvious?

"I know. I'm sorry I thought this would have been different because it was something...no, nevermind. I'm not going to make excuses for myself." He wanted to tell him, tell him how much he just wanted to do things for Raj but it would only make matters worse. Suddenly he just wanted to puke. The words, the change in Raj's tone would have been transparent for anyone else but at that moment, Xavier wasn't thinking about things fatalistically.

"Um." He cleared his throat and straightened his back, shaking his  head as the tears formed in his eyes. "Right. Its not so...okay so no more." He took the paper and tore it up. "We don't have to do this. We could...just find something together. And Amaya...the tuition. I shouldn't have said yes. But I do know you. Let me make this right." 

"Xavier we can't make this right, when this isn't going to work," Raj said, blinking back tears, "you're literally living in a hotel room that costs more in two days than I make in a year, and you now want to buy a 19.5 million dollar house, and I can't even get my daughter to tell me that she wants to go to college out of fear that we won't be able to afford it. We live in two different worlds, and it's just becoming really clear that I can't even contribute to whatever this is. I wanted a partnership, but if you don't even want me to contribute to anything or like you don't even want me helping with things as easy as dinner. I just can't just sit here and look nice while you do everything, that's not who I am. And I just don't fit here."

Hearing Raj's words felt wrong. They felt distorted as if Xavier had just entered some other dimension. How could his boyfriend just give up like this? "Wait, hold on. This isn't going to work? Do you really believe that? You're acting as if I put myself in this room? It's part of my contract now that I've taken up the series as well.  We've been talking about this house. I shouldn't have given an offer. yes, you're right and I have no explanation for that. I know I was wrong, I'm acknowledging that. I would live anywhere as long as it's with you." He wiped his eyes quickly, trying his best not to crack. "And the thing with Amaya, I wanted to discuss with you ASAP, that's why I wanted to see you before dinner. She had a deadline...and I know she should have confided in you about wanting to go to University. That was wrong and I told her to be honest with you always." He sighed and stood up from the sofa. "You contribute. You more than contribute. You're the heart and soul of this relationship.  You're my best friend. I don't talk to anyone else like I do with you and you're really just ready to throw what we have away because we can't talk about things? IF this is how you have felt, why haven't you told me? DO you really think I wouldn't have been down to talk about it all? This IS a partnership! What do you call the last couple of months, then? I never said I didn't want you to contribute but dammit, Raj sometimes I want to do things for you without being made to feel like I shouldn't or I'm the villain for the money things cost. I could be a good person and still want to give you things. And I know the house is overboard, I see that but I really wish you would have told me how you felt before dropping the this isn't going to work bomb." ] He took a deep breath, letting the tears fall now. "God, you're making me sound like I've just kept you around like some sort of artifact in my life. Is that what you think? Do you really think I just see you as someone that stands around looking nice? I can't believe I'm hearing all of this right now. You're really willing to just close this door on us? You fit in fine. You fit here. With me. Isn't that what matters. You fit here." 

"And did you never think to tell the show, "hey there's definitely nice places that you could could put me up that don't cost $18,000 a night and then use the money that they're saving on something that actually helps people? Because at the very least they could have used that as a tax write off to pretend to look like they actually cared about people," Raj snapped, the words just pouring out of him. "And I wish that I had realized it sooner, I really do, but something's just felt off since we got back and I just thought that maybe it was just because we were so used to being on the island together. But lately every damn day feels like I'm giving up another piece of myself to make sure that you're happy and I can't keep doing that, and it's not fair to either of us. And like if you want to do something for me then like volunteer or donate money to a cause that I like, but like you're over here instead forcing me to sit out of everything that I imagined us doing together under the whole guise of "just wanting to do things for me" is fucking bullshit. If this was really a partnership you would have stopped Amaya and pulled me into the conversation right away, or you would have sent me house listings so we could search together, or you'd stop having that hurt look right away whenever I want to do something as simple as cook with you. Or you’d even would have asked me what my budget was like so that I could help contribute to our life instead of immediately paying for everything. Like I’m glad that you think that I fit in here, but I didn’t sign up to be your fucking charity case. And I know that’s not what you meant to do, but the money might not be that important to you, but it is to me. And it’s so obvious that you’ve been ignoring how uncomfortable all of this even makes me.” 

He was going to be sick, he was sure of it. At this point, Xavier could no longer hide his hurt and he was crying as Raj spoke. "So that's my fault? They have contracts with these places, Raj. You're making it sound like I don't really care about people. Did I not talk to you in detail about the plans I have for my charities? You're literally heading up some of my fundraisers. I'm not here wearing mink and spitting on the homeless for Godsakes! Taking up the hotel room my management puts me in doesn't make me a bad person!" Raj saying that he wished he had realized it all sooner was a bigger slap in the face. "Forcing you, Raj? Forcing? Really? That's how you really feel about me, about our relationship?" HE took a deep breath, turning his back a little to pinch the bridge of his nose as his tears fell freely. Xavier sniffled the away, wiping them as much as they could and without facing Raj, he continued. "I love it when you cook with me. I wanted to do something for you after a long day. I wanted to do something for you because I've missed you so fucking much. I don't want to make you uncomfortable and I'm if you think I'm standing around ignoring your feelings and I'm some sort of villain then so be it. I don't know what else to tell you. You've made up your mind. Amaya is an adult and I told her to speak with you and she did. We could have talked about this, all of it. Any mistake, feeling, transgression, we could have talked this over but instead, you're choosing to leave!" He turned to face Raj, wiping his face with the back of his arm. "You didn't sign up to be my fucking charity case. How could you diminish my feelings and love for you to that? How could you do that, Raj? I'm sorry for ever hurting you but you're not the only one hurt. That's not how I see you and if you can't see how much I love and care about you and Amaya, I don't know what else to say." He took a deep breath, dark eyes trained on him. "Just say you don't want to be in this relationship, then. I'd rather hear it for what it is."

"I do see it and I do fucking love you and that's the problem," Raj sighed, "because both of us are going to keep hurting each other, and giving up pieces of ourselves that we shouldn't have to. I wish that being with you was enough, I really do, but these problems are going to keep coming up and keep getting worse, and I can't keep hurting you. So it's better to walk away before we both hate each other," Raj said, setting his key card down on the counter. "I'm really sorry, but......it's just not going to work," he said, "so I'm just.......I've got to go," he said, not letting himself look back, not letting himself say "I love you" one last time. Not letting himself feel how much his heart was crumbling.

Xavier, even though he had asked for the words to come out, he wasn't ready. He'd never be ready and perhaps it spoke volumes of how he felt about Raj. He had promised himself he'd never let this go, never give up on something this special but Raj was willing. "I would give up everything for you. I will give up all of it. I will literally, Raj, I can't put into words what I'd do to be with you because I've never loved someone like this. Why do you want to give up on us? I don't care about money. I don't. I know you do and I swear to God I will give it all away right now. I'll do it. Don't do this, please." He probably sounded pathetic and there was a small part of him that wondered if Raj thought so too. He looked over to the key card and then up at Raj with pleading eyes. "Why do you keep saying that? You don't even want to try!" He followed him out, standing in the hallway. "Raj! Raj! I love you, don't go. Please...." He took a few steps in the other's direction but he wouldn't turn back.

Raj wanted to turn around, but he was sure that if he did he wouldn't forgive himself later. As much as he knew their lives wouldn't intersect, he also couldn't let Xavier give everything that he had worked so hard to develop for him either. There were two extremes, and neither of them were the right choice. And it hurt. So. Fucking. Bad. "I'm sorry," Raj quietly said, his voice cracking as he couldn't stop the tears from falling as he got in the elevator.

~ ~  ~

"Two minutes, Xavier." He looked up from his chair, nodding with a small smile. He had been exceptionally irritable and he knew that doing comedy wasn't exactly the best idea right now but it wasn't like he could call out. Xavier had been staring at his phone, staring at the four unanswered text messages he had sent Raj. By now, the country knew about the break-up. It was gross and intrusive and he hated it and if he hated it so did Raj. Stupid Ship Wrecked. If he could do it all over again, he probably wouldn't. It had been a week now and he was back in NYC with no real intent to return. The offer on the house had been accepted and since he was in no mood to respond, that was an indication to move forward. Before he knew it, he had a house in contract ready to close in about a month. It's okay, he'd resell it. It sounded wasteful because it was. He didn't care. He just couldn't bring himself to care about much. Clayton kept sending him stupid memes followed by a "did you eat today?"

Again, none of that mattered. Instead, he would spend the next minute and a half running his thumb over Raj's name in his phone. "Fuck it." And so he typed.

"I'll be in California next week. Maybe we can meet for coffee? Please at least let me know you're doing okay. That's all I ask."

~~~ A week has gone, two weeks in. I'll be staying in NYC longer than expected. You'd love this place called the Witch's Brew. Miss you."

Before he knew it, it had been a month, some texts in between, nothing major and nothing on the receiving end.  "Reading you loud and clear. Have a nice life, Raj." Xavier never felt so empty.

[laterzgators]

So since I’m back on my writing vibes so I asked a close friend of mine for an idea for a Cherik fic. Enjoy

“Thank you Doctor Lehnsherr..”

Charles Xavier x Erik Lehnsherr

Synopsis: Erik is a doctor at a hospital when a man comes in with a broken wrist. This will be the first time Erik and Charles meet out of the many times Charles comes back to the hospital for.

“Lehnsherr, you got someone in room 2441 with a broken wrist. Examine it please I’m going on break.” Emma says to him. Erik was about to go home, just finishing his shift. “Emma please this isn’t on my time.” “Nor is it on mine. Now go.” She said to him and he rolled his eyes going on his way.

This patient whomever they may be, better have a pretty damn bad broken wrist for him to go and work when he already finished HIS shift. “Hello I’m Doctor Erik Lehnsherr. I will be the one helping you today. What seems to be the problem…” he pauses and reads the name off of the clipboard “Mr. Xavier..” “Please just call me Charles.. uhm I was at work when I helped one of my coworkers carry something heavy and…this happened..” The man said. He had a soothing English accent that was calling towards Erik. “Ah well let me examine it..”

He had taken his hand gently, touching his wrist.. Charles making a sound of pain in doing so. “S-Sorry..” he said. “Please don’t apologize, it’s alright. It must hurt a lot..” “Yes but uhm..continue sorry.” Erik only nodded and continued examining his arm. “So Charles.. it seems you’ll be needing a cast..nothing too extreme.. keep off of holding heavy things. It should heal quickly..”

He came back from grabbing the supplies and starting working on Charles’ arm. “And you are done.. Come back in about 3-4 weeks to get it removed.. remember no picking up heavy objects and be careful with arm positions..” “Ah alrighty then. Thank you so much Doctor Lehnsherr.” He only nodded back at the man and got out of that room before even Charles. He was ready and done to go home.

Weeks pass by and Charles comes back in again. A few different times too for many other things. “Oh sorry I think I may have sprained my ankle.” “It’s only a cramp in your leg Charles..” “Ah I’m so sorry to have spent your time Doctor Lehnsherr.” “No problem at all.” He’d smile back at him. And just like that little occurrences happened.

“Sorry!” Erik bumped into someone. “It’s quite alright.” A man said. “Charles.?” “Oh Doctor Lehnsherr hello..” “You have something else aching?” Laughs softly. “No actually I came here to drop off some food for my sister. She works here.” “You have a sister? What’s her name maybe we work in the same floor.” “Uh Raven..” “Ah yes Miss Darkholme. She’s a wonderful nurse for being so young.” “Haha yes..well I must be on my way now. Very nice seeing you Doctor Lehnsherr.” “Erik…call me Erik..” “Alright then Erik.” And the shorter man left with a smile.

Finally the week of taking his cast off came and Erik was the lucky one to take it off. “Charles, great to see you.” “Likewise Erik..” he smiles softly. He finally takes the cast off and Charles is just about to leave when.. “Charles..may I ask..? Are you seeing anyone?” “No I’m not hah. Why?” “I know this is very unprofessional but would you perhaps like to grab coffee or dinner with me sometime..?” “Dinner and coffee are two different things Doctor…but yes of course. Either of those is fine..” “Ah well perfect..you already have my information so..until then?“ “Until then.” He stood up, smiled, and that was the true start of Charles and Erik’s relationship.

-

-

Epilogue:

“I still find it funny how you asked me out on a date in a hospital.. while working!” Charles laughs as he lays his head on Erik’s chest. Laying in their bedroom from the flat they had just moved into. “Well look at us now Charles.. and you still break that wrist of yours every now and then.” He smiles and laughs. “You are an asshole…” “But you love me.” “Of course I do..Doctor Lehnsherr.” And that night was a longggg night after that statement.

[desire-tenderness]

𝔹𝕣𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕣𝕤 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕖

{This is a fanfic dreamed and desired. All I write about is my feelings, sensations and desires.  TEXT BY: L.M} Day 1 - Embark on the dazzle. October 9, 2023, Monday. I am exhausted, the recording will begin on Tuesday at 11 am. I think I slept only 3 hours and 20 minutes or I’m just kicking it out loud. This was a very tiring trip I confess. Maybe because it was almost a change of two months and a week. On the bright side, the production has provided a nice apartment for me to live in. My new home is beautiful and comfortable, one block away from Crescent Street, here in Montreal - Canada. Honestly, I can’t believe I’m finally having the opportunity to work with Xavier Dolan, I left my family in Brazil to embark on this dream, I already miss them. I should tell you that I have no idea of the cast that will be on this project, but the script looks fabulous. Before I embarked on this opportunity, I realized a portion of the dream. I and 7 other members of the team dined with Dolan last Thursday, debated the first decupagents and agendas. We had already read the script before the meeting, is it a low-budget experimental drama, and honestly? I lost my breath. I’m not in the position of art director I’ve always dreamed of, but I’m in the position where I have full knowledge and experience. Curious, I am not trembling with nerves, I am completely at peace with this realization. However, very anxious. We’re less than two hours away from reuniting in Saint-Laurent with the cast of "A race by Joseph". [.... ] - Less than two hours later. Okay, I’m about to get my guts out from all the nerves. I’ve heard of some names on the list of actors, including Troye Sivan, Vincent Cassel, and Louise Coldefy. The team is sensational and fucking, Xavier is like a master for me. I need to make these days my best college. I’m at home/rental number six, it’s wonderful. I can see two cars coming through the window, and "God bless me so that Suzanne Clément is in this cast" [Spoiler, I wasn’t, I had to accept], I think I’m going to have an anxiety attack, I need to splash water on my face. I lost count of how many times I filled my hands with water and threw it in my face, I needed to understand that I was really living this moment. I came out of the bathroom apprehensive. Céline handed me a cup of tea mix of Sage, Eucalyptus, Lemon Peel and said "Hey, relax, I’ll see you in the living room.. ah, one more thing, don’t freak out". I feel a chill creeping all over my body as I walk through the door frame. Everyone was waiting for me in the room so we could debate the first two weeks of the recording. I could feel my legs swaying to the point of not having enough sustenance to stand. Timothée Chalamet was sitting on the arm of Dolan’s armchair in silence, reading what would be the 4°page of some document. Quickly he gets up and presents himself squeezing my hand gently. Silence has taken over the environment, I don’t remember my name. [I remembered! ] It was remarkable how difficult he was to pronounce it, it made it all very comical, in seconds we were all laughing. At that time, other cast members performed, but my thoughts were so far away that I don’t know if I missed any important information. [Damn, how many questions are going through my head right now? I don’t even have control over them. Stop! Focus, your future depends on this delivery. ]

[.... ] With the passing of the hours I was reasonably more relaxed and with an unparalleled feeling of gratitude for what was happening to me. We discussed the script, much of it together, the day was very productive. I kept looking at him, he’s so funny and authentic, I feel comfortable now. Obviously we wouldn’t be friends, he wouldn’t notice an assistant director [even though I’m the director’s right-hand man]. The team will be dining with the cast soon, it’s 5:47 pm and I haven’t been able to confirm my presence at this dinner. What’s my problem?! Celine: You’ll go, right? We’ll go home together and unpack. Me: Oh Céli, I don’t think I will. I have a lot to pack, tomorrow starts the recordings and I want to do everything right. Celine: No, you are not going to organize things by yourself. Nor has dinner there in the house, let’s eat please, I’m starving. Think you need to catch up! Me: Relax Celi, I’ll do things in my time, have a wine while I cook something and sleep early. Look, Wednesday we won’t record.. We can go downtown and get a quick look at the city, what do you think? Celine: You’re hopeless. Well, I’ll tell you about it. Arriving at the apartment I opened all the windows, and went to cook thinking about what the following days would be like. I decided then that I should not intensify anything, it could disrupt me at work and I can’t let my impulsive Aryan side get out of hand. I decided to go to the disco and see what the last song the host of the apartment heard. Well, did you start playing Nick Drake’s Pink Moon and honestly? I can’t let the pink moon get me. Fuck, I’ve never seen anything more beautiful in my entire life, it’s as fascinating as on screens or in photographs. [Stop! Concentrate. ] [...] 00:01 am The wine bottle is 98% empty now. I have not yet fallen asleep and Celine is already in her 8th deepest sleep. I need to sleep. She said that they were so energized, that the team’s relationship is great and that she ate a delicious Poutine, I found it very courageous for those who will spend the whole day recording tomorrow.  [I’m laughing alone while imagining a disaster] I will sleep and tomorrow will be the first day of my life. I swear I was born now and suddenly everything changed. Things will be built from now on. Timothée Chalamet? I hear you’re a good actor, I don’t know you. Good night and see you soon.

Part 2

Day 50 - And I’m probably happy, could it be different? November 27, 2023, Friday. There are times I do not write in this "virtual diary", my days are super busy. Today we finish the work a little earlier, we finish the movie! I think it’s 4:00 now. Right, and why did I come back to write? Well, I wanted to forget the feeling that took me completely 50 days ago. But today something has happened that does not allow me to escape any feeling that exists here. Louise is severely ill, Christ! We’re at the end of the shoot, she’s Timothée’s date, missing four takes of a kiss between them for her last acting scene. Dolan needed two different angles and he didn’t have a voice voice available so suddenly. Louise and I have very similar hair and what I feared went through Dolan’s mind. "Be the Double" he said. Yeah, Chalamet and I kissed today, and, hell, there was no professionalism on my part or for a millisecond, I feel terrible! I felt like I had been thrown out of a plane and I was in a free fall. My heart had never accelerated so much. My fantasy almost made me believe that one of the butterflies in my stomach was coming out of my mouth 1 minute later. Holy shit! [What if it was not reciprocal? Of course it was not, silly! We are friends. ] I’m so pissed about it, I’ll tell them why.

All these days I’ve really become friends with Timothée, can you believe it? I’ve always been very afraid to talk to him because he doesn’t find me interesting enough. But we have an unusual tune. We had a lot of coffee together, a lot of claquettes I hit due to recording mistakes, we went out with the guys several times, even "alone" and that’s okay, we talked about Brazil and he made sure to go there anytime, I even smoked one of his cigarettes, even hating cigarettes. We were talking about how funny Vincent is and how amazing he is, and we were talking about how they were both working for the first time with Xavier Dolan. We laughed at stupid things until the belly hurt and even bet race in the parking lot next to the location. [He won, of course, has huge legs].

One day we were together cutting fruit for the rest of the team on the set as we talked about Georges de La Tour, "That ordinary painter" I said, and he gave a delicious laugh. He’s much simpler than I thought he could be, carries an admirable humility. And I swear, it was fine, because I was fascinated by that friendship and I could feel that it would last for many years. I’ve learned to deal with your stunning beauty. I liked the way he accepted me and had fun with me. He didn’t think I was silly. I was working for a salary and a bright future, and suddenly I felt I had won the lottery until that moment after the kiss. I feel like I’m failing at my resolve. To finish screwing with my mind, Celine told me something that made me much more sensitive about a feeling that, I swear, once again, I had managed to forget. Although I often fantasized that a mood was going on, I knew it was impossible. He definitely sees me as the cool girl makes him laugh and that he can truly trust. Celine: Look. I, for recklessness, overheard Timothée talking to Troye about you. I did not hear enough but I must say that your tone of voice was of pure indignation... Troye said, "She’s the kind of girl you want so much, you feel sorry for". Me: God damn it, did he hate my kiss?! I’m going to die, Celine! Troye clearly should be making fun of the situation. Who am I supposed to show up at Dolan’s tomorrow for dinner? Celine: Calm friend, you are traveling.. I have noticed things and I will not open my mouth. Everything will be fine, seriously.. kiss the chalamet? How can you be angry about that? [laughed] By the way, tomorrow after dinner, I’ve arranged to spend the night at Julie’s, do you want to go? Me: Oh.. I’m not in the mood to hear Julie talk all night about the new vegan recipes, sorry, pal. Celine: Okay.. I won’t bring you nice things. [My phone vibrated. I was reluctant to look, but it could be work.. ] Text Msg Timothée: I hope you’re okay, you seemed strange going away. Want to talk? By the way, you did well in tonight’s performance, you should try harder. Me: Says my angel, how are you? I am well, of course I am. [laughs nervously and it was noticeable] I was just nervous to have to act for Dolan and know that I will see myself on a movie screen, even if at closed angles. By the way, Mr. Chalamet, thank you very much. I have the seal of approval that interests me hahah Msg of text Timothée: I like it. See you tomorrow? Me: Yes, of course, until tomorrow! Msg of text Timothée: [video uploaded]

Part 3

Day 51 - Ecstasy, landscape of the soul. November 29th, 2023, Sunday morning. I don’t know how to write about how last night went.. I was upset, but I remember everything. I won’t be able to keep this journal after that I’ll tell. We were all gathered at Dolan’s house, drinking and laughing a lot, toasting to finish this incredible project. I already felt completely dizzy and with the warm body, things kept spinning in my head, it was so beautiful. He wore a leather jacket over the green sweatshirt, had a golf cap (Odd Future) hanging on one of the pants straps where his belt was, the black jeans almost on his knee and a red vans, and that hair.. that hair! It’s like a restless ocean. I was wishing to walk across the room and kiss him again with all the intensity that belongs to me, he would like it this time. My body was on fire, suddenly I was frozen, it’s coming toward me. I knew I could spoil any conversation by being totally random and awkward, I was dying of shame in advance. Timothée: Are you happy? Me: Sure, congratulations! You did a great job, I’m very proud of all of you. Timothée: Thank you, but none of this would have been the same if you weren’t on the team, right? Me: Right! [Cheers] [Silence] Timothée: What are you thinking right now? Me: Who you are, Where you’re from, don’t care what you Did as long as you love me..[I started singing As Long As You Love Me by the Backstreet Boys, really?] Timothée: Oh my God! [He laughed almost for the world to hear]. Are you going to Julie’s with Céline? There’s going to be a vegan class. I’d like a pizza, okay? Me: Look.. I also wanted a pizza instead of vegan food.. But I’m getting dizzy and I think I’m gonna go home and do my drunken show in the shower. Timothée: Ah.. Right, you’re dizzy, but you still know how many fingers you have here? [He did an 8 with his fingers] Me: Yes, of course. I’m fine, man, I’m weak but not that weak. Give me a skateboard there! [I screamed, and they didn’t take me seriously] Timothée: So.. we can go for a coffee to break the alcohol and fill the stomach with a piece of pizza, what do you think? Me: Wooah! Come on, send world pizza! [I couldn’t say no, I was completely taken. ]     We got to what used to be a kind of blinker-light coffee, it had a super-hot vibe. We sat down and made the request, we laughed drunk and said nothing that made sense, I felt our friendship alive again. However, the silence and the exchange of looks came, so we could hear the music that played in the background. It was "And I Love Her" by the Beatles”. Suddenly he began to sing. Timothée: "She gives me Everything and Tenderly. The Kiss my Lover brings, she brings to me and I love her." Me: Yeah.. beautiful music. You sing over and over again better than me. When did you start playing music? [My hands started sweating] Timothée: [he laughed] Are you all right? Me: Timmy. .ah.. I think I’m going home to take another shower, rest and call my family, I don’t know. Timothée: Okay, I’ll accompany you, I can’t let you go back alone so late. Me: You don’t need my angel. I’m a ninja! [I made the shameful gesture of a martial coup and tripped. The truth is I wanted him to insist] Timothée: Without that [laughed] let’s go!

We got to the apartment, he came up with me and put his coat on the couch. I offered him water, am I pathetic? He said he did not want to, but that if possible, he would like to stay. I felt as if we were talking by telepathy, I am not crazy. He feels the same. I said he could stay, even super apprehensive. I took two cigarettes from Kumbaya that I made on Tuesday and shouted from the room "let’s get some air on the balcony while we smoke!?". Upon returning to the room, he had put Cigarettes after sex to play, silently. Nothing but the music. Breaths. Another dose of silence. My body pumped blood with so much speed, [says something] I thought. He touched my right hand and looked at me. Those green eyes made me feel warm inside as never before. I got up the courage to pull him to the balcony that led to the fire escape. The sky was beautiful and the wind touching our faces was like a sky giveaway, I needed that fresh night air. Timothée: Do you need me to say it? I can say it. Me: I know what you’re going to say and I’m terrified. You want me too. Timothée: I want to. You make me feel good. I feel my presence truly when I share a moment with you. "Sometimes I think I’ve felt everything I’m going to feel in my life. And from now on, I won’t feel anything new. " Me: I promise that one day I will feel that everything is right. but it feels so wrong. Man, I feel like I’m living a fanfic, and I don’t want to wake up tomorrow and none of this ever happened, or worse, if it’s real, our friendship being compromised by what’s possibly going to happen here. He put his hands on my face, kissed my forehead. Timothée: The heart is not like a box that fills, L. It expands in size, the more you love someone. I’m different from you. It doesn’t make me love you any less. It actually makes me love you more. I want you. Me: Right.. We are here only briefly, and at this moment I want to allow myself joy. I want that, Timothée. And I promise that one day I will feel like everything is fine. He lovingly bowed to touch his lips to mine. Feeling those soft lips against mine, it was almost like an apocalyptic sensation, the world could end right there, would have no problem. We kissed as we entered through the large window of the room, the first pieces of clothing filling the lonely floor of the room. The music Sunsetz conducted our intimate dance. The words "you have to do the right thing, do the right thing" started to disappear from my head.

I feel overflowing out of the body, sensitive, I am under the effect of exaltation, very intense feelings of joy, pleasure, admiration, reverent awe... Timothée. I truly love him. We are lying on the living room floor, apparently wrapped in a curtain that has been disastrously removed. Timothée, his breath is hot, the sound coming out of his mouth shivers my body. We were like the painting of Egon Schiele - Gli Amanti (L'Abbraccio).

Blackout. Light. The voice of an angel reaches my ear. My eyes open. He looked at me in silence, I could smell his mildly sweet citrus smell all over the room. Its aroma stimulates my sensations. Timothée: I’ll make you a cup of coffee. I’ll be careful with the amount of sugar, it’ll be just the way you like it. Keep lying down, angel. Geez, what happens now? I don’t know, he doesn’t know, you don’t know. Anyway, I feel complete.