#and writing all feel very YA (not a bad thing!)
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Ok my queue spit this out after I saved it for later, so let me add some nuance here. Because this is a very importand issue, actually.
Of course nobody is prohibited from readin the books they enjoy. Hell, I like me some easily digestible fluff too! Some of my favourite book series are ya (and genuinely great books despite being âeasy to readâ).
There is something to be said however about limiting yourself to only engaging with that level of difficulty in reading. And before you come at me, I know that many people don't read at all and to many others reading is simply a hobby to unwind after a long day, where they just wanna turn their brain off and have some fun. Which is a totally fair reason to read. BUT. Reading (or more broadly, literacy) will never be just that. You live in an age of (mis)information and you WILL be confronted with texts (speeches, video clips, what have you) that are hard to dissect. Especially the ones that don't seem like it at first glance.
Media literacy is not only about how quickly you can summarise a paragraph or being able to pull quotes to show how maybe a character could be read as queer (although both of those things are a very good indicator of having advanced literacy). It's the VITAL skill of filtering and assesing information presented to you before so you can make an informed choice to internalise or discard it. It's being able to understand the information in the first place by grasping a complex thought presented to you in writing or in a speech because the simple truth is that not all truths are simple.
Media literacy gives you the ability of identifying that someone is trying to make you believe something and parsing why they're doing it by identifying the tools they are using. Which means you also need to know the tools they have at their disposal. It also means being able to connect points brought up before in the same or different texts to see if there is inconstencies or leaps in logic or if the argument someone is making only looks good because they use big words and a sentence structure that âfeelsâ smart, but actually falls apart as soon as you poke at it a little.
Forgive me sounding alarmist, but if you can't read at that level people who have these tools WILL have power over you and you won't even have the tools to notice that they do. Even if people are not actively trying to harm or manipulate you, if you're unable to engage with their ideas you will get left behind in certain vital discussions and that not only feels like shit because everybody gets it but you, but it also again makes you incredibly vulnerable to those who do have bad intentions!
Now does that mean you only get to read Proust from now on? Of course not! I still do believe that a piece of literature can directly and fundamentally change your life. I know it has for me. However, that is a personal opinion and it doesn't mean I can force anyone to engage with deep philosophical manifestos on what it isto be human in this world. And even less that I want to do that, despite me thinking that literally ANYONE could benefit from reading that kind of thing. But you NEED to be able to read complex texts outside of your comfort zone for honest to god survival. I am so fucking serious.
And, hey! The good news is that this is not some secret mystical power you either get blessed with or not. It is a skill you can train, by reading challenging material. Books with more complex sentence structures, more nuanced ideas or arguments. Books that force you to think about them. I hate to say it but the only way to get better at reading is to read. It doesn't have to be fiction but i will be very real with you, I doubt that - if you're putting down a book because it's unreadable to you based on the chosen perspective - you'll be the type to pick up scientific essays or anything like that.
Don't cut yourself off from vital skills by locking your mind in a box. You are capable to handle those more complex texts, and I'd wager you'll even enjoy it once you find your niche (yes! you still get to have preferences!). You just need to give yourself a chance to learn.
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if you don't mind could you write regressed Stan falling sick, with fiddleford and/or Stanford taking care of him?
It's totally okay if you don't want to write it but if you do Thanks very much :)
I decided to do Fiddleford as Stanâs caretaker for this one! Iâm trying to take turns, you know! Please let me know how you like it!!
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Stan can feel Fiddsâ eyes on him as he plays with some wooden blocks, a pout forming on his lips. Fidds was overreacting, he wasnât sick or nothing. His nose is just runny and he has a little cough. Only a tickle in his throat, a constant one. He sniffles as he brings his cup of orange juice, his favorite, up to his mouth and sucks it down, his throat feeling more ticklish than ever, making him cough while drinking his juice. Which causes him to start choking on it as Fidds rushes over to help. Whoâs Stan kidding? He feels icky all over, he just didnât want to be fussed over because what if Fidds became annoyed with him? Got tired of looking after him and left? He doesnât know what heâs do without Fidds.
âStanley! Ohmagosh! Are you alright!? Breathe, baby, breathe.â Fidds thumped on Stanâs back, getting all the juice out his throat. Stan coughs and wheezes, his sore throat feeling worse than it is. He sniffles again, this time from the need to cry. He tries to hold it in, but he feels so awful and he aches all over and he choked on his favorite juice! He just wants to cuddle in bed with his blankie and stuffies and Fidds!
âOh there, Sugar Bug, âS alright, Iâve got ya. That was mighty scary huh?â No, Fidds! Well, yes! It was scary but Stanâs not crying because of that, heâs crying becauseâŚbecauseâŚbecause heâs sick and tired! He whines and shakes his head, burying it in Fidds chest when the movement makes his head hurt and go all spinny.
âOh? Whatâs the matter, hmm? It wasnât scary? Or are yaâ crying because it made you feel bad?â Fidds stroked Stanâs sweaty curls and paused, âOh now, I think it know the problem. Youâve got sick, I can feel your fever and I bet thatâs not the only thing going on,â Stan whines and shakes his head, softer, again, âOkay now, itâs time to get you in bed and get some med-ah rest. Rest!â Stan gets up with prompting, his legs feel shaky, so they walk super slowly and Fidds makes him put a hand on the wall when they go up the stairs so he doesnât slip.
Stan grumbles and coughs a bit as heâs slipped in bed, Fidds tucking Poindexter and his blankie tightly around him. âA good think you still got yer jammies on, now ainât it? Now stay right there, Iâm gonna get some juice and a cold cloth for you.â Stan wonders where Fidds thought heâd go. He snuggles down deeper into the warmth of his blankie, absently chewing on Poindexters ear. He still feels icky, but heâs now cozy and sleepy, his eyes feel heavy, like he can barely keep them open.
âCome now, Darlinâ, sit up for me a little. Gotta get this juice in yaââ Stan whines as Fidds helps him sit up. Doesnât he know Stanâs sick? He needs to lay down and sleep. He scrunches up his face as he drinks his juice with Fiddsâ help, it tastes different. It tastes kind of icky, but itâs probably because heâs sick, right? Things donât taste right when youâre sick, that what heâs always been told. Stan doesnât know why Fidds looks so nervous when heâs drinking his juice, or why he sighs when he finishes. He doesnât really care to think right now, he feels heavy, warm and heavy. He shivers when a cold wash cloth is placed on his forehead, he doesnât remember laying back down, but it mustâve been Fiddsâ doing.
âJust get some sleep now, Pumpkin, Iâll be here the entire time.â Stanâs blankie and stuffy is tucked in with him again, Fidds slipping a pacifier in his mouth when he goes to chew on Poindexterâs ear again. He isnât super achy anymore, but he is so tired. He can barely hear the story being read to him, but he cuddles his face against Fiddsâ hip anyways. Stan was being so silly earlier, of course he wasnât going to be abandoned for being sick, not by Fidds at least. This shows that Fidds loves him. And he loves Fidds. He loves his Papa.
Stan smiles behind the pacifier as he feels a gently hand brush against his head and pulling him closer.
#gravity falls#gravity falls agere#age regression#stanley pines#sfw agere#fandom agere#gravity falls headcanons#gravity falls stanley#gravity falls fiddleford#fiddleford hadron mcgucket#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddstan#sfw agere head canons#agere drabble#fandom age regression#gravity falls hc#gravity falls age regression#gravity falls stan pines#stan pines headcanons#agere headcanons#age regression headcanons
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2024 reads / storygraph
The Sapling Cage
YA fantasy, start of a trilogy
a trans girl and her friend swap places so she can join the coven of witches who wander the land instead of becoming a knight
as they travel and she starts to learn from them, while hoping sheâs not found out , they uncover a corrupt magical blight that threatens to become a civil war
bi demi MC
#The Sapling Cage#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#I enjoyed this! itâs a pretty classic fantasy setting out into the world#+ group of teens save the kingdom from power hungry adults from both factions kind of story.#Thereâs some very cool creatures and monsters and I hope we see a lot more of that as the series continues!#I like how it takes quite a classic fantasy setting/narrative but puts some weird and interesting details in there#I liked her journey of questioning whether she actually wants to change her body#or whether thatâs just out of fear/pressure and sheâs a girl either way.#I thought the prose was okay. sometimes it felt like things were glossed over and a lot of the character and relationship#(all kinds) development is a bit telling not showing - I didnât get a really solid sense of the friendships or developing crush she has.#the bullying subplots especially felt a little underdeveloped? theyâre just suddenly cool with each other.#also the adult saying she didnât step in because that would escalate things is an odd choice#âŚ..checking now this is not actually marketed as YA. I think if I read this thinking it was an adult book I would be a bit harsher.#I read it with a YA mindset and imo the teen characters; coming of age themes; the straightforward worldbuilding/narrative#and writing all feel very YA (not a bad thing!)#Overall though I liked a lot! Iâll continue the series#itâs sapphic (possible developing relationship though who knows where that will go) and also thereâs an aroace side character#sapphic books#trans books#demisexual books#aroace books
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Katherine has a really fucked up martyr complex that doesn't get resolved till the end of the story btw
#it's b/c she thinks that everything is her fault and that the only way#for her ta atone is for her ta die#I wonder why she thinks that#Katherine Quin being the most loving kind bright and bubbly person ta others being very subtly suicidal#man she really is a self insert oc!#spacie spoinks#two talk#everything is not her fault.....ohh definitely not. but she internalizes it ya feel?#she's very self aware of her feelings too#''this isn't my fault so why do I feel like it is?''#she's self aware and yet falls prey ta her brain over and over again#she and this other character who I'm writing ta be suicidal but more overtly so auuughh#their dynamic is everything ta me. cuz they have ACTUALLY done bad things#LITERALLY THE RFS ARC AND THE ''getting back ta normalcy'' ARC ARE MY FAVES#B/C THERE'S SOOO MUCH GROWTH EVRY CHARACTER GOES THRU AND ALL THE EXCITING THINGS HAPPEN DJDJFJJFFJJF#also nebbie#nebbie ilysm#I need ta figure out what ta do with her when RFS is done she's really cool and I don't wanna just throw her away#I've thought of bringing her back for the last part but I feel like her role would be diminished by some of the other roles#gaaaaahhhh#but I want her character ta get some sort of closure.....#her closure is not her living happily btw ooohhh no#she doesn't want a happy ending. she just wants an ending.
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I was so tired yesterday I knew if I read it I wouldnât do it justice, so had to wait till I was better rested.
I feel like this was a theme for all of us before the summer. I felt that comment in my tired bones đ Hope all's good with you, though! Missed ya a lot, friend đ¤
âOut of the two of us, youâre the way bigger wreck. Some would even think itâs your husband who died, not mine.â broke me
I'm glad it broke you! I was rather proud of that line đ Plus, I think she made a great point for Beau lol
I love Beau asking about the dating, and doing it about face as soon as he realizes other guys have made inquiries.
Haha yes! Beau was hearing that and going, "Dammit! And here I thought I was being an honorable gentleman by giving her time to grieve. Meanwhile, these cockroaches are already hitting on her like damn vultures! Her husband's body ain't even cold yet..." đ
And the vibrator line â Quinn got apology cookies for the laugh that I cackled out and woke him!
Oh, she definitely was pushing boundaries there 𤣠And yay, cookies for Quinn!!! đŞ
I know it was meant to be sweet, but very, very bittersweet â beautiful!
Ooof, right? Part of what I loved writing about this series were these really tragic moments between them. There's always this "wrong place, wrong time" dangling in the air and tons of "what ifs". Well, hopefully the stars align for them... đ
And BTW, you have the paragraph
Ah, thanks!!! That one got away from me. Finally corrected it after months... đđ
I swear to the Gods, when I read âHe was making up for lost time as best as he could, even if it meant taking you out every night for the rest of your life.â the next thing I heard in my head was â because he doesnât have much time left to do it,â and that stopped me cold. Foreshadowing, or too much Dateline â Iâm not sure. But it gave me chills.)
Ooop, we'll see where this story leads... Might not be death that will haunt her and cause a rift đ (Or maybe it will đ¤ˇââď¸)
Quoting all these lines back to me? You're making my writer heart soar, woman! đâ¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸ (On a side note, I really loved the metaphor with the cassette tape. He really is her B-side đĽ°)
âNot at all, Sheriff. You know I always appreciate your input,â (that double entendre got Quinn another cookie!)
I imagine Jenny internally also snorted pretty hard at that one đ
And man, you ended on kind of an ominous note⌠Iâve got a real bad feeling. Whatever happens, at least they have that soft moment between them.
Yup, let's hope it won't be the last! đ¤
Polaris â Chapter 7
Series Summary: When Beau Arlen moved to Montana, he left behind a past he wasnât proud of. But when a series of murders requires the FBIâs help, Sheriff Arlenâs ghosts come back to haunt him one by one. With a wrong turn waiting at every crossroads, itâs hard to make the right choices and find his way back home â back to you.
Pairing: Beau Arlen x FBI Agent!Reader
Warnings: 18+, fluff, angst, serial killer, mentions of cartels, grief, smut
Word Count: 7.2k
A/N: The chapter where we find out why Ted is on Beau's punch list aka The One With Ted... đ
Series Masterlist || Main Masterlist || Tag List
Chapter 7: Storm Coming
May 2021
âI sold the house,â you said, your voice ripping through the quiet of the car during another starry stake-out night.
âSo youâre homeless now?â Beau joked and peeled his eyes away from the front window view and glanced at you from the driverâs seat, his hand resting on the steering wheel, the other one in his lap.
You chuckled. âYup, but I got a hot plate now in my motel room and one of those Italian moka pots. So, you know, some would say Iâm living the dream.â
Beau snorted in amusement before he pensively rubbed his mouth with two fingers. âYou didnât have to sell the house, you know?â
You heaved a sigh. âYeah, I kinda did, though⌠I didnât like staying in there anymore. Itâs just⌠too many memories, I guess? âSides, Iâm always down here anyways. Actually considering moving here.â
Beau frowned at you, his nose scrunching. âWhat, to Mexico? Are you nuts? Over my dead body are you doinâ that.â
âOh, Iâm sorry. I didnât know you had a say in it,â you retorted rather playfully and put a shocked palm on your chest in mock.
âDamn right, I do,â Beau scoffed his reply with a teasing grin. âWho do you think is lookinâ out for ya, huh?â
âWait, you think you are? Thatâs what you believe?â You snorted a laugh, entering banter territory with him.
It was usually how you passed your time during most of these stake-outs â laughing, teasing, and the occasional talking about your problems. Youâd never known Beau like this before. He was your husbandâs best friend, but he had been more of an acquaintance to you. Now, after months of spending close to every day together, it felt like he was your best friend. Since Randyâs death, heâd been there for you, even if it was mostly out of guilt.
âYeah, what dâyou think?â Beau countered challengingly.
âOh sweetie, youâre not looking after me. Iâm looking after you,â you stated confidently. The smile that twitched on his lips seemed to actually agree with you. âOut of the two of us, youâre the way bigger wreck. Some would even think itâs your husband who died, not mine.â
âAre you calling me a girl?â
You coolly shrugged your shoulders. âEither Iâm calling you a girl, or Iâm calling you gay. Iâll let you pick.â
Laughingly, Beau scoffed and muttered, âYou wish I was gay.â
However, you still heard his mumbled reply and responded, âActually, I wish you were a girl and that I was gay.â
Beau stared at you and leaned back against the door for a better view of you, his brow raised and the corners of his lips drawn slightly upwards in amusement. âWhat are we even talking about?â
âI donât know,â you admitted with a shake of your head.
The two of you then burst into loud laughter that filled the entire SUV. For a moment, all your sorrows and hardships seemed to be forgotten, carried away to the desert with the nightly breeze. Then, the familiar and comfortable quiet took over the car again.
âIâm moving out of the house, too,â Beau said, his eyes focusing on the barren landscape and desolate road ahead. âIâm giving it to Carla. I mean, she didnât ask me to. God knows she can take care of herself⌠But I want Emily to keep living in the home she grew up in, you know?â
âYeah, I get that. Thatâs really nice,â you said quietly. Your soft smile then morphed to a grin. âSo youâre homeless, too, huh?â
Beau laughed, throwing his head back into the seat. âYeah, guess I am. Maybe we should live together?â he suggested half-jokingly.
âLike roommates? Ugh, God no!â You scoffed in abhorrence. âWeâre way too old for that. Youâre over forty, Iâm barely in my thirtiesââ
âYou do know I know exactly how old you really are, right?â Beau teased.
You decided to ignore that jab and continued, unbothered. âIt would be seriously so sad. The Widow And The Divorcee â sounds like the worst sitcom on the planet. âSides, itâd be super awkward if one of us starts dating again.â
âFine, maybe youâre right,â Beau relented with a soft chuckle and then glanced at you sideways. His heart gained speed in his chest. âYou ever think about it? Dating? Gettinâ out there again? Been nine months.â
You twitched your shoulders, choosing not to look at him. âI donât know. Is nine months long enough after your husband died?â
Thoughtfully, Beau licked his lips and let out a small sigh. âI donât think thereâs a timeline, or a right and wrong. I just think itâs one of those things that when youâre ready, youâre ready.â⨠âWell, consider me not ready then, I guess,â you replied honestly.
âAlright,â Beau accepted, bobbing his head. âBut I still think you should try again at some point, you know? You shouldnât be alone for the rest of your life. First of all, itâd be a total waste, âcause, I mean, look at you. And secondly, youâre barely in your thirties, after all,â he repeated your earlier joke with a soft grin.
You felt the heat creep to your cheeks in the moonlight. As you looked at him, you could see his smirk, making you laugh. âNoted,â you replied and were thankful for his pep talk. âI mean, thereâve been offers.â
Beau quirked one eyebrow, a hard lump forming in his throat as his chest tightened. âOffers? Like plural? Who?â
âWell, just some of the guys from our team. Cody, Jordan, TedâŚâ you named a few. âAlso a few locals. Remember those guys we played pool with a few weeks ago? Two of âem asked for my number.â
âHuh. That is pluralâŚâ Beau pursed his lips and couldnât keep his brow from wrinkling, his grip on the steering wheel stiffening. âWell, you know, when youâre not ready, youâre not ready. Shouldnât force anything. No rush, darlinâ.â
Smooth, Beau thought wryly with an internal sigh.
âRight, I know,â you agreed. âI do miss sex, though. Getting kinda bored of my vibrator.â
Beau choked on his spit. âJesusâŚâ
âWhat? Am I not allowed to talk about it? I thought we were friends. Youâre supposed to care about my well-being and happiness,â you argued, frowning.
âI do care. Just⌠Can we please not talk about that?â he begged and exhaled a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his freckled nose.
âFine. I miss having women aroundâŚâ You shrugged and muttered, âDidnât peg you for a prude.â
âOkay, letâs just get one thing straight â Iâm not a prude,â he clarified in defense, his cheeks turning a deep shade of red.
âAlright, also noted,â you quipped, smirking to yourself. Sometimes you enjoyed making him a little uncomfortable. His blushed cheeks could be quite cute. âWhat about you? Have you still not talked to Carla? Iâm sure you can win her back if you tried. Youâre a lot better now.â
âWell, thank you for the, uh, vote of confidence, but itâs really over, I guess. We just talked about all the divorce proceedings last time. I actually think she started datinâ someone recently,â Beau told you.
Your eyebrows rose in surprise. âReally? Who?â
âI guess some rich tech guy. I donât knowâŚâ
âAnd youâre good with that?â you questioned in disbelief.
Beau scoffed a humorless chuckle, shaking his head. âHa, no⌠But what am I gonna do? Kinda shot myself in the leg with that one. I donât blame her for moving on. Itâs been over for months now.â
âThat sucks. Iâm sorry. I was kinda rooting for you two,â you admitted.
âWell, thanks, but we werenât you and Randy,â Beau said. It made your brow knit.
âWhat dâyou mean?â
âCâmon, you know what I mean,â Beau replied as if it were obvious, but you still shook your head. He sighed. âYou and Randy wouldâve never gotten divorced.â
âYou donât know that.â Honestly, you doubted it yourself, but you were too curious to find out what he meant by his statement.
âI do know that,â Beau insisted with certainty. âYou guys had that once-in-a-lifetime kinda love. The kind that made other people jealous, you know? Your love made every other relationship pale in comparison. I always figured once the honeymoon phase was over, youâd settle and be less vomit-inducing, but that never happened. Me and Carla were never like that. Not even in the beginning,â he explained, a small, soft smile shaping his mouth. âYou guys were special. True love. The stuff folk singers write cheesy songs about.â
âI guess we were,â you mused quietly, the memory of everything Randy was to you causing tears to well in your eyes.
âHey, Iâm sorry,â Beau apologized as soon as he noticed the sadness on your face. He reached his hand over to your side and squeezed your thigh gently, just above the knee.
âNo, itâs alright,â you brushed him off, swallowing your heartache down. âBut hey, if Carla wasnât your once-in-a-lifetime, maybe sheâs still out there. You just havenât found her yet. I mean, thatâs kinda a nice outlook, right?â
Licking his lips, he bobbed his head, his gaze focused on his hand on the steering wheel. âI doubt it.â
âWhy? Never say never,â you said encouragingly.
âWell, maybe I already met her, and itâs too late now,â he replied. It sounded more like an actual fact than a hypothetical theory. You found yourself wondering.
âWhat, did you have like an old college flame? The one that got away?â you teased lightheartedly, but he only grew more serious.
âSomethinâ like that,â he replied vaguely, rubbing his mouth with his fingers.
âLook her up on Facebook. Maybe sheâs divorced, too. You could reconnect or something,â you suggested. He nodded but didnât seem too convinced. You then shot him a hesitant glance from your periphery. âSo, now that Carlaâs moving on, are you gonna start dating now, too? Jump back into the game?â
âI guess so⌠Why?â A part of him was curious to hear your response, while another part reminded him that his desired answer was only wishful thinking â and completely insane on top of that.
âThat fiery brunette lady at the bar last night seemed really interested in you. Maybe you should hook up with her if sheâs there again tomorrow night?â you proposed in earnest.
Wide-eyed, Beau blinked at you in incredulity â like you had lost your goddamn mind. âIâm sorry, what?! Hook up? Who are you right now? Are you tryinâ to set me up?â
âYeah.â You shrugged simply, not seeing what the big problem was. âDonât look at me like Iâm trying to convince you to get a tramp stamp above your ass with a dirty needle. Iâm just trying to be a good wingman⌠woman. Randy wouldâve tried to set you up, right?â
Beau sighed frustratedly. âYeah, he wouldâve,â he admitted in a grumble and then barked, slightly more furious, âBut you ainât him. And I donât want you to be, so stop it, alright?â
âGeez, Iâm sorry. I was just trying to help,â you mumbled defensively and raised your hands in surrender, unsuccessfully hiding your upset over his reaction. He felt guilty when he saw the small pout on your face.
Beau rubbed his forehead before dragging his palm over the rest of his face. âI know. Iâm sorry, too,â he said and let out a deep breath through his nose. âI just-⌠I guess Iâm just waiting, okay?â
âWaiting for what?â
Beau squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. For you to be ready, he wanted to say. But he couldnât very well do that now, could he?
âFor Christâs sake, Y/NâŚâ he breathed exhaustively. That was all he managed to say. With his palm on his mouth, he rested his elbow against the car door, gazing out the window.
âWhy are you so upset?â you asked, your brow woven with confusion.
âSwitch subjects,â he requested.
It was a phrase the two of you used whenever you didnât want to talk about something anymore. When someone pushed too much, or the topic got too emotional and you needed a break. The only rule was to always respect the request, so you had no choice but to let it go after that.
âThe Texans game sucked last night, huh?â
That elicited a snort from him, and he looked at you with a warm smile. âYeah, goddamn awful.â
âHow many times are you gonna watch those?â
Beauâs question broke your concentration. Your gaze snapped from your laptop screen to his concerned face. Youâd been rewatching the victimsâ videos for four days straight now, trying to find more clues. Maybe even something that directly led to Diane.
âI keep thinking maybe Iâve missed something,â you mumbled and stared back into the computer, your teeth gnawing on the pen between your lips. âItâs 48 hours each. We have twenty-four victims. I keep watching them sped-up to get through them all, but maybe I should slow âem down. I mean, Iâve watched them full-length, normal speed a couple of times before, but maybe I should watch âem even slower and really focus, you know? Thereâs gotta be something thereâŚâ
Bobbing his head worriedly, Beau pursed his lips and took a scan of your desk. He counted eight empty cups of coffee and five cans of energy drinks. There were bags under your red eyes and your hands were jittering. He knew you hadnât slept a lot. He tried to hold you in his arms, but as soon as he dozed off, you snuck out and went back to work.
Beau shut the laptop. âYouâre cut off.â
âHey!â
âY/N, you need to sleep. Just look at you, darlinâ. This obsession isnât healthy. Iâm taking you home,â he declared sternly, ignoring your protests. You were pretty sure he had used his dad voice, too.
âY/N, you need to sleep. Just look at you, darlinâ. This obsession isnât healthy. Iâm taking you home,â he declared sternly, ignoring your protests. You were pretty sure he had used his dad voice, too.
âI need that woman in prison, Beau.â
âYou startinâ to sound like JennyâŚâ Beau quipped under his breath.
âWeâre running out of time. Thereâs only one day left before the next victim drops,â you stated and tried your best to keep your voice steady as it broke off towards the end.
âI know.â Beau clasped your shoulder and squeezed gently. âAnd weâll get her. I promise you. But youâre no good to any of us if youâre exhausted and losing it right now.â You nodded and rose from your chair. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you flush against him, kissing the top of your head affectionately. âHow about some dinner, huh?â
You grinned warmly. âWhat, like a second date?â
âExactly like a second date,â Beau said and mirrored your grin. He was making up for lost time as best as he could, even if it meant taking you out every night for the rest of your life.
Your phone buzzed on the table, your brow quirking at the number. Eagerly, you picked up and wound yourself out of Beauâs embrace. âSpecial Agent Y/L/N⌠Uh-huh⌠Great, thank you.â
Beau pursed his lips. âWeâre not going out, are we?â
ââfraid not, Sheriff.â You shook your head and chuckled at his groan. âThat was IT. Theyâre finally done and sending over the IP addresses.â
âAlright, guess Iâm gettinâ take out,â Beau announced with a small sigh, knowing the two of you were in for a long night â and not the one he had planned.
You smiled and pecked his lips. âThank you.â
August 2020
Beauâs heart thudded frantically in his chest as his knuckles tapped your front door in the early evening. The sky was a color spectacle full of azures, indigos, and apricots as the summer sun slowly set. His boots only stood on that same spot not even twenty-four hours ago. It still felt like a surreal nightmare he couldnât escape, his hope to wake up soon a ceaseless prayer.
Heâd stayed with you all night, held you as you cried yourself to sleep. Beau awoke on your couch with your head resting on his thigh and a strange feeling in his gut. He couldnât help but think you were beautiful, even in a state of utter turmoil, shoving said thought swiftly down into the depths of his darkening soul.
But heâd spent all day thinking of you, plagued by guilt and torn by misplaced feelings. Heâd sat through hours of interviews, going over and over the events of last night till his mind spun like a hamster wheel. He was forced to fill out forms, sign documents, and recount each unforgettable step. Heâd listened to lectures, sermons, and admonitions. His captain gave him a tongue-lashing that sounded like mere white noise before he was sent home with a suspension â investigation pending.
Only he didnât go home; he came here.
At home, his wife and daughter were waiting â for a husband, a father, an explanation. None of which he could provide. Beau wanted to wallow in his grief, his guilt, his loss in peace. He lacked the strength to be strong, play pretend, and act above it all. He wanted to be punished, sent to perdition, and held accountable for his lapse of judgment. A suspension wasnât good enough. It barely patched the abysmal gaps in his heart.
The only suitable punishment was you. Witnessing your suffering was his personally crafted hell. You were the broken remnants of his destruction, the shattered pieces of his idiocy, the explosive fallout of his arrogance.
And you hadnât answered a single call or text of his. His torturous worry was part of his penalty.
Consecutive rings of the doorbell and incessant knocks remained unanswered. For a moment, Beau rested his forehead on the door. He felt helpless and clueless all the same. You had friends and family to take care of you, probably better suited and closer to you than him, but somehow he felt burdened with the responsibility.
He took the spare key out of the left-side planter and barged inside. The ground floor was deserted. Last nightâs uneaten dinner still sat untouched on the table. It felt like a whiplash against his bare back.
Bolting upstairs, he found the door to the main bedroom ajar. He pried it open slowly, the sight of you delivering his second lashing. This time, he felt the sting burning through to his heart.
He found you curled up in bed, on your husbandâs side, in your husbandâs t-shirt, with your wedding photo album clutched tightly in your arms. His breath halted for a moment; his heart did, too.
Did he do this? Was this all his fault?
âY/N?â His deep voice was quiet and careful as he spoke. Slowly, he walked over to your side and knelt down in front of you. âDarlinâ, hey⌠You need to get up. Eat somethinâ.â
Beau was sure you hadnât moved all day. He didnât ask you if you were alright or how you were doing. The question seemed insulting. The answer was obvious. Your phone was lighting up on the nightstand with a million unanswered calls and messages, his own among them. Your beautiful eyes were vacant, red, and empty. You didnât cry, however, not anymore. You were dehydrated and all out of tears at this point. You never looked at him, not even a glance.
âI want him back,â you whispered, your voice coarse from screaming, crying, cursing.
Beau nodded, licking his lips. Caringly, he caressed your head, brushing a few strands of messy hair out of your face. âI know. I hope you know Iâd trade places with him in a heartbeat if I could.â
For the first time your eyes found his. Your gaze was scathing and piercing. âTell me what happened.â
Beau let out a harrowing sigh. He had rehashed the story all day long. He wasnât sure if he could do it again, but maybe this version was the most important one. Who deserved the truth more than you?
âY/N, I donât think this is such a good idea, darlinâ,â Beau tried to reason, mostly for himself. He wanted to hold on a little longer, the idea of you hating him tearing him apart. He wanted to spare himself the additional guilt, the anger, the hurt.
âTell me or leave.â
Beau closed his eyes and nodded hesitantly. âOkay, alright.â He took a deep breath and settled down on the floor, leaning his back against the wooden bedside table. âWe were closing in on that biker gang. Few murders, arms trafficking, drug deals⌠You know the drill. Iâm sure Ra-⌠he filled you in.â
Not that long ago, Randy had asked you for advise on the case. You gave him your contacts in the DEA and a number to a CI.
âYour DEA guy warned us. Said the gang was working closely with the cartel down in JuĂĄrez. But I had my own intel that only a few members were meeting at the Hatcher warehouse in MacGregor. It was supposed to be a small deal. But I figured it could lead to bigger things if we shook âem down, you know? But fuckinâ Harper told us no like usual. Refused to give us back-up. Said to pass the case on to the DEA. But Randy and I worked our asses off the last few months to get even this far. We were so close. I didnât wanna let go⌠So, I suggested we go in anyways. It was supposed to be only three guys from the gang. I knew if we were smart about it, we could easily take âem down, you know?â
You rolled onto your back and propped yourself up on the bed. Shaking your head, you chuckled humorlessly and grabbed the half-empty whiskey bottle from the nightstand. ââCourse you did. Itâs not the first time you broke a rule or shit on authority.â
âYeah, and I was right every single time,â Beau bit. His anger wasnât geared at you but at himself. He knew he was in the wrong. He flew too close to the sun and got burned. But he still felt the need to defend himself, even if it was unjustified.
His gaze drifted to the dresser and the patch of wall above it, decorated with photographic evidence of yours and his partnerâs life together. The wedding, dates, vacations, holidays â it was all there. Beau had watched it all, start to finish. He wished he could rewind the tape and cut off the ending, all so you could have the love of your life back. He didnât know yet your cassette had a B-side. One that featured him.
âYou got fucking lucky, is all,â you scoffed.
âRandy backed me up on it!â
âOf course he did! Youâre his fucking partner! He wouldâve followed you anywhere if you asked him to,â you snapped, shaking your head. You gulped down some whiskey then and locked your jaw before you met his eyes again with a glare. âAnd? What happened then, Beau? Was it only three guys?â
âNo.â The word was almost inaudible. He shook his head with a harsh swallow. âThey were meetinâ with a few cartel members there. My intel never said anything about that. When we were inside and saw what was really going on, it was already too late to get out. They made us, bullets started flyinâ⌠They got a hold of Randy and⌠shot him.â A tear escaped down his cheek, his throat closing as he tried to choke out the last bit of the story. âI had to leave him there. I barely got out myself. Iâm sorry, Y/N. I know this is on me.â
Your lips twitched with a bitter smile. You didnât look at him, just rubbed your tired eyes. âDamn right it is. Get out.â
âY/N, pleaseââ
The storm in your eyes made him stop as you met his gaze, his useless apologies becoming stuck in his throat. âI said, get out. I ainât asking a third time. Youâre the reason my husband is dead. Youâre the reason I donât even have a body to bury. So, get the fuck out.â Like a snakebite, your words were targeted, sharp, and venomous.
You finally got out of bed and prodded towards the en-suite bathroom. The truth had been what you needed to switch the fighter inside of you back on. You knew what you wanted to do then and were determined to get it.
âY/Nââ
âDo you know what cartels do to bodies, Beau? To rivals? To law enforcement? âCause I just came back from a job where we found forty-eight decapitated bodies, left to rot inside the walls of a house. Still havenât found the heads yet. Probably never will,â you told him and stared him dead into his dark green eyes. âEver seen that before, desperado?â
Beau bit his lips, averting his gaze. âNo.â
âYeah, didnât think so.â You scoffed and crossed your arms over your chest. âNow, leave. Please. Get the fuck outta my house. I donât wanna see you anymore,â you spat and slammed the bathroom door shut behind you.
Beau then grabbed the whiskey bottle youâd left and walked out of your home. It was the first of many nights he started to drink himself to sleep, but at least it kept the nightmares temporarily at bay.
âTheodore.â Beau forced a bright smile onto his freckle-dusted face, although the stiff features could barely fool anyone. At least, they wouldnât have fooled you.
âBeau, good to see you again.â Ted smiled and did a more convincing job of it as he waltzed into Lewis and Clark Countyâs Sheriffâs Department. It almost seemed like he meant it. âI was surprised when Y/N told me you got a gig as a sheriff here.â
Translation: I was surprised because you were such a fuck-up back in Texas.
Beau feigned a chuckle. âYeah, I bet you were.â
âHopefully, youâre givinâ the DAs here less headaches,â Ted jabbed under the disguise of friendly banter. He then turned to Jenny with that same shit-eating grin. âYour sheriff is a little troublemaker.â
Sweet Lord, Beau wanted to whack the bastard.
The blonde deputy coolly brushed the accusation off. She shrugged and playfully nudged Beauâs arm, sending the Texan attorney a smile. âI prefer him that way.â
âHey, there she is!â Beau smiled with frazzled relief when you finally hurried into the station. A little while longer, and he definitely wouldâve thrown a punch.
âHey, Ted. Thanks for coming. How was your flight?â You greeted him with a warm smile and a quick hug.
âGood, good. Never been to Montana before,â Ted said and then let his eyes wander up and down your body. âLook at you. You look great!â
âOh, uh, thanks.â You subtly cleared your throat. You could physically feel Beau stiffen next to you. In your periphery, you could spy a tightly clenched jaw and a few strained muscles in his neck.
âMind if Y/N and I borrow your office, Sheriff Arlen?â Ted asked and emphasized his title. âConsidering the nature of this case, Iâd like to keep it as private as possible. Donât want anything to reach Ms. Newtonâs ears.â
Your hunch had been right. Several IP addresses pointed to Diane, some to public Wi-Fiâs. You and the team still needed to connect her to the other states and find out where sheâd been staying there, but you could definitely trace some posts in recent weeks to her home in Montana. It was enough for an arrest warrant, but you still needed more evidence.
Additionally, it had all come together a little too easily. It seemed like a giant trap you were walking into. Diane wanted to be caught. But why?
âWhy donât I just join you? Iâm sure Y/N here doesnât mind,â Beau suggested with a tight smile and then snaked his arm around your middle, pulling you closer. âAinât that right, darlinâ?â
Internally, you sighed a little at his obvious territorial pissing, but you were willing to throw him a bone. You stretched up and claimed his plump lips in a fervent kiss that Beau only all too happily reciprocated.
âNot at all, Sheriff. You know I always appreciate your input,â you replied with a dirty smirk at the double entendre.
As Beau looked down at you, he mouthed âGod, I love you.â You grinned in response.
âHappy to give it to you,â he said with another sweet peck of your lips. A triumphant and slightly cocky grin graced his lips as he looked back at Ted.
âOh, so you two are back together?â Ted realized, his brow rising to his hairline. Heâd never seen you two together but certainly had heard the whispers down in Mexico from your old task force. Heâd been the DA for those cases as well. Youâd never explicitly told him about you and Beau, though, even when he had tried to pry a little on those dates you went on.
âWell, Iâm a hard one to quit,â Beau quipped almost proudly, like a peacock showing off his fan of feathers.
âAs are cigarettes and many other vices,â Ted shot back with the same stupidly proud grin.
Translation: Youâre an ass. And a failure. She deserves so much better. Iâm âbetter.â But maybe that didn't need a translation.
Beau shouldâve known it was hard to out-argue a lawyer and ground his jaw. After all, heâd been married to one for many years.
You, on the other hand, shared a wide-eyed and baffled look with Jenny that bordered on amusement. You had almost gasped in shock. You hadnât expected such a fiery reply, sure the men would stick to their Southern manners. But, oh well, everyoneâs packing in fucking TexasâŚ
âWhy donât you two go ahead? Iâll join you in a minute,â you ordered more than you earnestly proposed and shooed the two men down the hallway towards Beauâs office.
âSure itâs such a good idea to lock those two in a room alone?â Jenny teased, her eyes lingering a little too long on Tedâs perfectly formed ass as he sauntered down the hall.
You couldnât blame her. You had checked out Beauâs in the same breath.
âItâs only for a short time. Theyâre not gonna kill each other,â you laughed it off. Jenny arched a doubtful eyebrow at you. âThat quickly,â you added a correction. âSo, what did I miss here?â you asked and nodded towards the two men, closing the door to Beauâs office behind them. All you heard last was them talking about the recent Texans game.
Ugh, of course, theyâd end up by footballâŚ
âDick measuring contest,â Jenny supplied wryly.
âAh, figuredâŚâ
âWell, better them than to lock Agent Y/L/N and the sheriff into the same room,â Poppernak joked with a soft chuckle as he appeared next to you and Jenny, chiming into the conversation.
You gaped at him in mock-shock. âMo! I canât believe you just said that,â you chided playfully.
His cheeks turned crimson red. âIâm sorry, Special Agent Y/L/N,â he apologized in a fluster.
âMo, I told you to call me by my first name,â you reminded him with a smile. âOr Iâm gonna have to start giving you silly names like Beau does.â
âOh, I love Sheriff Arlenâs nicknames,â he quickly defended with a nervous laugh.
âDo you?â Jenny tilted her head with a questioning eyebrow.
He shrugged. âTheyâre clever.â
August 2020
âOld Fashioned,â you ordered with a look at the bartender, feeling Beauâs confused eyes and crinkled brow wander up to you. âCouldnât have picked a nicer bar, huh? This place is a dump. You know that, right?â
Beau clicked his tongue and took a sip from his Ranch Water. âWhat are you doing here? Thought you never wanted to see me again.â
You let out a small sigh but didnât meet his gaze. âCarla called me. Your family is worried about you.â
âI didnât tell her where I was. How did you know I was here?â
âI didnât. Carla said you havenât been home in three days. Figured youâd gone on a bender. This is the fifth cop bar I checked out. Finally got lucky,â you said and thanked the bartender as he placed his drink in front of you. You settled down on a barstool next to Beau.
âQuite the effort. Sure Iâm worth it?â
Your tongue swept over your lips. âBeau, look at me.â His forest-green eyes found yours upon your soft plea. âIâm sorry I put all that shit on you. It wasnât fair. Itâs not your fault, okay? His death isnât on you. I know you loved him like a brother.â
âI did.â Beau took another sip of his drink. âBut it is my fault. I was reckless and arrogant. We both know it.â
âIt was a set-up, alright? I talked to my DEA contact. Cody said your intel was wrong. They knew you and Randy were closing in on them. They wanted to get rid of you,â you explained.
Beau smacked his lips. âI still shoulda known better. I shouldâve seen it was a trap.â
âMaybe,â you admitted. You couldnât say you wouldâve done the same thing, but you knew Beau wouldâve never purposely put Randy in danger if he had even the faintest idea. âBut it couldâve happened to anybody. This was bigger than you knew.â
âIt wouldnât have happened to you,â he stated quietly. You couldnât argue with that. You were more by-the-book than he was. You wouldâve never gone against a superiorâs order. You wouldâve respected it.
âLook, just go home. Talk to your wife. Get some help,â you said. âYou missed your suspension hearing, but I spoke on your behalf. Told them it wasnât your fault. The DEA backed me. Harperâs gonna reinstate you. Just come back as soon as youâre ready.â
Beau nodded slowly. Even if he didnât say it, you could tell he was thankful for your efforts. âI canât go home.â
Your brow furrowed. âWhy? Iâm sure Carla will understand. You need to talk to someone about this. Go to therapy â and not the alcoholic kind. Losing a partner is not something you get over quickly. You need people in your corner, including your wife.â
âYou mean the wife that lets criminals out on the street?â Beauâs gaze was focused on the glass in his hands. The wrinkles on your brow deepened. âThe guy that shot him⌠Carlaâs his defense attorney. Was, at least. He was supposed to do time, but two months ago, she got him paroled.â With a dark chuckle, he emptied his glass.
âBeauâŚâ You knew he had always struggled with Carlaâs job, making you sometimes wonder about their dinner conversations at home. âIt ainât her fault more than it is yours. Sheâs just doing her job. You know that. Youâve been together for so long, youâd think youâre used to it by now.â
Beau scoffed a chuckle and gestured to the bartender for a refill. âI was a young cop back then. Wasnât on the job as long. I didnât know it would bother me so much. Still lived in that hopeful bubble, I guess.â
You smiled knowingly. âYou mean the âI didnât think Iâd see as much shit and injustice as I do nowâ bubble?â
He snickered softly. âYep, that one. Just didnât think itâd be this hard, you know?â
âI get it. I mean, me and Carla butt heads all the time over this stuff. But we do it in a competitive fun way and then get drunk,â you said with a light chuckle. âGuess itâs different when youâre married, though, huh?â
âYeah, it isâŚâ he sighed.
âStill, go home. Talk to her,â you encouraged but could see your words of wisdom fell on deaf ears. âBy the way, the funeralâs on Saturday.â
He turned his gaze away from his glass and found your eyes. âYou need any help with that?â
âMaybe you can give a eulogy. You knew him best. I think he wouldâve really liked that,â you said with a warm smile. No matter your own feelings, you knew deep down Randy wouldâve wanted you to forgive his partner.
âYeah, I can do that. Anything you need, okay?â Beau clasped your hand that laid on the bar counter and squeezed reassuringly before dropping it again.
You smiled appreciatively and teased, âMaybe show up sober. Or at least close-to.â
Beau chuckled a little. âI promise.â
You stood up from your seat then and put some cash for your drink on the counter. âAlright, Iâm heading home. You need me to call you a cab?â
âNah, Iâm good. Iâm just gonna finish this drink, then Iâll head out, too,â he said.
âYou sure? Donât make me come back here,â you threatened playfully.
Beau laughed softly. âI wonât. Thanks for everything, Y/N. I mean it.â
You sent him a smile and gave his shoulder a squeeze on your way out. âYouâre welcome. Get home safe, okay?â
However, Beau couldnât keep any of his promises. He made it home after three more drinks and woke up on the front lawn of his house. Carla wasnât happy when she found him in the morning as she brought Emily to school. But Beau couldnât stop. Every time he closed his eyes, the tragic events flashed before him like a horror movie, witnessing Randyâs death in a never-ending loop. He kept seeing his partner get dragged away, heard the shot over and over again like a rain of bullets without a ceasefire.
The guilt was eating him alive. The guilt of getting his partner into this mess in the first place. Of leaving him behind. Of surviving and coming out alive when he didnât deserve to.
So, Beau kept drinking to forget, even though he knew it was a futile endeavor. The memory would never fade, but at least it was blurred.
Your heavy breaths echoed through the small trailer. His mouth moved down the column of your throat, leaving a wet path of ravenous love bites in its wake.
âFuck, baby,â you moaned wantonly, his grip on your flesh punishing as he kept you pressed flush against him while he devoured you on the little dining table. Your ass sat on the wooden surface, your crossed ankles locked tightly behind his muscular back.
âGod, you made me so happy today,â he growled against the shell of your ear, his rising length rubbing against your core through layers of denim.
âI can see that.â You giggled, your hands dangling in his hair. âThereâs no need to hate him so much, you know?â
âSays you,â Beau quipped and unzipped your jeans, eagerly pulling them off you as his mouth sucked your clavicle purple and blue. âThat slimy coyote always had it out for me.â
Beau removed your panties as well, tossing them behind his shoulder where they landed in the kitchen sink. âWhoops.â He grinned charmingly but was unstoppable, freeing his throbbing dick as he shoved his jeans and boxers barely over his ass. He didnât bother to slip out of them all the way, too impatient to wait any longer to enter you.
âStill, Iâm already yours. Iâve always been yours,â you said and braced yourself on his broad shoulders as one large hand on your back pulled you closer to the edge of the table. His other hand grabbed his cock, twisting his fist along the hard, long shaft a few times before he glided his cockhead through your slick folds.
âNot always.â With one harsh thrust, he pushed inside you, your tight walls fighting to make room for him and adjust to his stretch.
You gasped at the pleasurable burn that coursed through your body and ignited every sizzling nerve. He dropped his head to your shoulder, giving both of you some time to get used to each other. You could tell you were in for a wilder ride tonight. You always loved when he fucked you rough and hard. There was something raw and animalistic about the need in his hypnotizing green eyes.
Beau then claimed your lips with one fervent kiss, enough of a spark to cause a wildfire. He met your gaze, hands gingerly cupping your cheeks. âBut I love that youâre mine now. And Iâm sure as hell gonna make you mine tonight, darlinâ.â
You crashed your lips against his, your kisses frenzied and untamed as his hips began to slam into you. His pounds into your pussy were relentless as you swallowed every inch of him. You gripped him tight, already feeling your first orgasm bloom. It accumulated like dark, violent storm clouds on the horizon, forecasting roaring thunder and heavy rainfall.
âOh God! Fuck, baby!â You screamed as your climax tore through you like a hurricane, your cunt gushing on his cock and pulsing around him. Your nails dug into his shoulder blades and scratched down his back as you came undone.
Beau groaned into your ear, squeezing his eyes shut as he barely held on himself. But he didnât let up and kept up his furious pace, not ready to stop yet. âShit, keep doing that. Youâre so fucking tight, Y/N,â he grunted against your skin, your sensitive flesh barely withstanding his ruthless pumps. âWant you to come again, darlinâ.â
With his declaration, his hand slipped between your sweat-clad bodies. You came close to losing your mind as he thumbed furiously at your clit, the stars already starting to twinkle in front of your eyes. You could feel yourself get shoved to the edge once more, staring down the steep cliffs of white-hot ecstasy.
Your mind was consumed by need, his grip on your hips bruising as you exploded. You cried out raucously, your whole body quaking in his hold upon your eruption, the aftershocks so powerful they could cause cracks in your bones.
Beau spilled his seed deep inside of you, his body stuttering in rhythm with yours as your earthquake took him down with you. Hazy gazes met each other with lazy smiles as ragged breaths mingled.
âFuck, that was good. I think that one might make it into our Top Ten.â Beau chuckled gravelly and placed a gentle kiss on your temple.
âHmm, not sure. We have a few greatest hits.â You giggled and bit down on your lower lip with a mischievous twinkle in your eyes. âCan I tell you something?â
Beau cupped your cheeks, thumbs caressing the heated and rosy skin as he lifted your gaze. âAnything.â
âJust between us, youâre the best lover I ever had,â you confessed with a wide grin. The corners of his mouth rose to match yours.
âWell, between us, Iâve never loved anyone like I love you. Youâre it, darlinâ. You know that, right? Youâre the love of my life,â Beau revealed, making you smile brighter than you ever had before.
âIâm not sure about the sex, but this moment, right here, is probably gonna make it into the Top Ten,â you said softly as a few tears stung your eyes.
âGood.â Beau smiled and pecked your forehead.
The buzzing of a phone shifted your attention. You recognized it as yours, and Beau was quick to retrieve it from your jeans pocket in the pile of clothes on the floor.
âItâs Jenny,â you told him before picking up. âHello⌠What?! Uh-huh, weâll be right there.â
Beauâs brow furrowed as he watched your features flicker through an array of emotions. âBad news?â
âUhm, honestly, I donât know,â you said and swallowed some of your confusion down, gathering your thoughts. âJenny said Diane just walked into the station and gave herself up. She is ready to confess but only wants to talk to us.â
âUs? As in us two?â Beauâs eyes narrowed. You nodded. âWell, that doesnât sound fishy at all,â he commented wryly.
âYup, I donât like it.â
Chapter 8: Chemical Bonds â JUNE 26
A lot of revelations and foreboding in this one... đ Also, I just love having Beau say the word "coyotes" for some reason đ
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My brother needs to go to therapy. He has got huge family problems. His childhood was messed up.
#i really hope he gets enough amount of sleep everyday now#he doesn't reply/engage in conversations.. don't speak much.. kind of a silent person.. but there has been times when he was all too good#with talking to someone#Does early twenties really make you feel so much? I hope and i know and i know he will get better#so many harsh things have happened to bhaiya.. i would have never tolerated it all#i would be slamming each's face#so let me write this in my tumblr's diary#his underpants were filled with stones and his shirt was ripped when he was in 4th grade by his own sisters(cousins)#They had the âprivilegesâ .. noone in family could speak against them cuz guess what their mother was a survival and a truly good person#So nothing was said to their kids#Anyways now we're good.. have many fun memories#Another time when he was in hostel in 6th grade some bad kids came in the bathroom camein bath#room & put bucket on his head and hit him hard#Horrible experiences#One time he was slapped by papa when papa and mummy was having a fight#And let me tell ya my father's palms are very big.. can be comforting but when applied with force one can break#I really hope everything gets better.. i'll try hard... Didn't expected april to be such a havoc-ing month#Please be kind 2023 to everyone#take the road less traveled by*
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the spirit bares its teeth isnât necessarily âgoodâ but i have read most of it in a single night and it does genuinely have interesting things to say even if itâs saying them in a way that isnât how yours truly usually enjoys themâŚ.
#refraining from judgment until im done#however it doesnât feel like horror to me. like itâs very clearly horror and the writing#especially the body horror is very evocative but#a lot of it is just incredibly sad. like i want to chew off someoneâs arm now im not quaking in my boots#which like not all horror WANTS you to be quaking in your boots but well#maybe iâm just coming off the high of reading [REDACTED] and would be better off with something more like that#but ANYWAY thereâs some bad things but a lot of good things. it definitely is YA despite the content. etc.
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Update: Iâm watching multiple video essays and the movie over again to make these
The urge to give ghosts in the Infinite Realms Beetlejuice logic
#Iâm scientifically bad at figuring out metaphors and shit of the sort so I look at other folks amalyzation to recognize the intricacies of-#the media. I mean Iâm decent at it with the IQ level ratio (this was to find out if I had additional disorders itâs somewhat real the tests-#took 6-7 total hours to do. but with the IQ test stuff#IQ is mental age/ chronological age x100#my memory score was like 52 i.e. VERY VERY VERY VERY BAD and so rewatching it and taking notes will help#Iâm so delirious bc I canât sleep rn but insomnia is keeping me awake that fuck it im gonna mini rant#I reread comics so so so many times to try to make my writing somewhat accurate.#when I do the jokes of âim my own beta reader bc to me ive never see that shit beforeâ is 100% accurate#nearly all of my past prompts I have no recollection of making them. thatâs my biggest fear with asks. genuinely subconsciously not knowing-#that I near coped a prompt based off an idea someone sent in but I genuinely have no memory of said thing.#I do my best to remember but I simply canât. long term memory works but if you ask me nearly anything about stuff besides core memorie#I simply canât help ya. the minds blank. adhd symptoms wahoo#bones writes in the tags#also very much so tipsy bc sometimes it helps insomnia and I have it infrequently enough that I donât feel the need to ask my doctor for a#sleep aid prescription. itâs like once a month im fine#are nightcaps the most healthy way to do it? no definitely not. but I already tried hard liquors with my twin to try them out and with#my medication and also myself melatonin doesnât work but nightcaps do? idk im gonna find a better alternative#anyways imma try to sleep again although I feel fully awake but it truly sucks and im so tired. gn yâall
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IF I WAS A BAD BITCH, I'D WANNA Fâ
CK ME TOO! Â áá Â Â gojo satoru x female reader x (female?!) gojo satoruÂ
18+ content, minors and blank blogs do not interact. established relationship. threesome featuring m & f gojo. dom! gojo(s), sub reader. bisexual reader. slight cnc/dubcon. marathon sex. fingering. voyeurism + cucking. spanking. humping. finger-sucking. the big three: praise, humiliation and degradation. jealousy-fueled and dare i say competitive sex. oral (f. giving & receiving, m. giving and receiving). p in v, creampies. hair-pulling. clit slapping. overstimulation, mind break. doggy (backshots woohoo!), chain link, tower bridge. lots of aftercare and a happy + crack ending (thank you flix)
happy (early) birthday to the honoured dick one. the strongest in bed. i know his birthday is in december but i needed u all to read this right now. so enjoy nine thousand three hundered words of filth, from me to you, with all the love possible <3. i wrote female gojo with @/owwllly's version in mind, so please show them your love xx this has been my fav threesome fic to write!! dedicated to my pookie daph aka @curtins - there will be a part two !! there will be a part two !! there will be a part two !!
â general masterlist â read on ao3 â series masterlist
"so you're telling me... this happened because you couldnât mind your business?" you deadpan, arms crossed as you stare at two very identical gojo satoruâs in your living room. one of them is busy fiddling with infinity while the other is lounging on your couch like she owns the place â wolfcut, tight black turtleneck, and a smirk that could rival the original's arrogance.
âtechnically, i was minding my business,â the og gojo protests, leaning back against the wall with his usual, unbothered grin. âbaby, âs not my fault the curse decided to spice things up and give you, like, a bogo deal on me. you're welcome, by the way."
"bogo?" you repeat, staring at him blankly. "buy one, get one? 'toru, this isnât a trip to the mall â this is a problem."
âproblem?!â the female gojo pipes up, throwing an arm over the back of the couch. âbabe, this is a blessing. look at me â donât i just scream perfection?â she runs her hands dramatically down her torso, pausing to cup her very impressive pair of tits. âand these? way better than whatever heâs working with.â
âhey!â the og gojo snaps, looking genuinely offended for once. âmy pecs are great! theyâre sculpted by gods!â
âoh please.â she waves him off, smirking. âyou can bench press all ya want, but nothin' competes with these.â
you pinch the bridge of your nose, feeling a headache brewing. âgreat. now thereâs two of you and youâre already competing with each other. this is exactly what my therapist warned me about.â
"your therapist doesnât even know her," og gojo interjects, before muttering, "probably thinks i'm better."
âknows me?â the female gojo raises a brow, mimicking his exact tone. âhoney, i am you â just hotter and with better hair.â
âoh, please, my hair is iconic ââ
âonly âcuz i have it now ââ
âokay, shut up, both of you,â you groan, cutting through their bickering. âare we just ignoring the fact that this situation is insane? one of you is going to have to fix this. preferably him,â you gesture to your boyfriend, âbecause iâm sure as hell not trusting the version of you who discovered boobs for the first time an hour ago.â
"thatâs fair,â female gojo shrugs. âi got distracted for a good ten minutes.â
âten?â og gojo snorts. âplease, i bet youâre still distracted.â
âbetter than looking like an overgrown snow cone ââ
âthatâs it!â you snap, cutting them off again. âyouâre both sleeping on the floor until this gets fixed!â
they stare at you, identical smirks creeping onto their faces. the synchronization is downright creepy.
âwhat?â you snap.
âyou mean we canât sleep next to you?â female gojo teases, batting her eyelashes dramatically. âoh, baabbyy, donât be like that. weâll make it work. one on each side, warm and cozyâŚâ
âdream on!â you yell, grabbing a pillow and chucking it at both of them.
despite your protests, you eventually settle into bed, burying yourself under the covers in hopes that sleep will somehow make this bizarre situation feel a little less insane in the morning. your boyfriend is sulking on the couch â heâs got that kicked puppy look down to a science, complete with dramatic sighs and pointed glances your way every time he fluffs the pillow. you ignore him. you deserve this break.
or at least, you thought you did.
the bed dips behind you, and you freeze, already knowing who it is before she even opens her mouth.
âhey,â female gojo whispers conspiratorially, her voice a softer, almost sultry version of your boyfriendâs usual annoying tone. âgirlâs night, right? letâs talk about feelings and, like⌠skincare or whatever. isnât that what girls do?â
âgo back to the couch,â you mutter, trying not to sound as mortified as you feel.
âoh, come onnn,â she presses, shifting closer. âiâm technically you now. you, me, and him â weâre a team. solidarity and alla that.â
âteam or not, youâre still satoru,â you grumble, rolling over to glare at her. âand youâre supposed to be fixing this, not playing barbie dreamhouse with my sanity.â
she gasps, clutching her chest as though youâd just gravely insulted her. âbarbie dreamhouse? wow, honey, thatâs just rude.â
you sigh, already exhausted, and roll back over, resolutely closing your eyes. âgoodnight.â
except she doesnât leave.
instead, she shuffles even closer, slipping under the covers like itâs the most natural thing in the world.
âwhat the hell are you doing?â you ask, voice muffled by your pillow.
âitâs called cuddling. girlhood, babe. embrace it.â
you groan, but itâs drowned out by the warmth of her pressing against your back, her arm draping over your waist like sheâs done this a hundred times before. the touch is familiar â too familiar â but also distinctly⌠different. softer, almost delicate, but with that same satoru confidence youâve grown used to.
youâre about to relax when â oh.
oh no.
thatâs definitely her tits pressing against you.
âseriously?â you mutter, feeling your face heat up as you shift uncomfortably.
âwhat?â she hums innocently, though you can practically hear the smirk in her tone. âtheyâre natural, by the way. in case you were wondering.â
you roll your eyes so hard they might fall out of your head. âget off me.â
ânah. youâre comfy.â
âyouâre unbelievable.â
âyou love it,â she whispers, cuddling closer, her breath warm against the back of your neck.
meanwhile, from the couch, your boyfriend groans dramatically. âwooww, guess iâm not needed anymore! donât mind me, just a lonely man being replaced by his better half!â
you groan louder this time, burying your face in the pillow. âi hate both of you.â
âyouâll get over it,â female gojo chirps.
youâre not so sure.
you drift into a restless sleep, but itâs not long before something â someone â pulls you back into a groggy haze. at first, you think itâs just the weight of her arm slung over your waist, the kind of innocent touch youâve grown used to from satoru, only now softer, smaller.Â
but then you feel it: nimble fingers ghosting the waistband of your shorts, brushing against your skin with maddening lightness.
your eyes snap open, and before you can twist around, you hear her chuckle â a low, almost predatory sound.
"eaasy, babe," she whispers, her breath hot against your ear as she burrows closer, her chest flush against your back. "donât wanna wake him, do you?"
your heart skips a beat, half from the sensation of her lips brushing the shell of your ear, half from the realization that your boyfriend is right down the hallway.
âwhat the hell are you doing?â you hiss, your voice barely audible, but it only makes her grin wider. you canât see it, but you can feel it in the way her teeth graze your neck, her nose nuzzling against your skin.
âjust havinâ a little fun,â she murmurs, her fingers dipping slightly lower, teasing. "youâre sooo uptight. âs cute."
âstop,â you whisper, though your voice lacks the conviction you wish it had. youâre painfully aware of every point of contact â her fingers, her chest pressed against you, the way her legs tangle with yours like sheâs been doing this forever.
âoh, come on,â she purrs, lips trailing a featherlight path up your neck. âyou can pretend to hate this allll ya want, but sheâs kinda telling a different story, babe.â
your breath catches as her fingers toy with the waistband of your panties, and you bite your lip to stifle a sound thatâs somewhere between a gasp and a moan.
âshhhhh,â she teases, her voice dripping with amusement. âdonât wanna wake him. imagine the tantrum heâd throw.â
â'toru,â you snap in a whisper, barely managing to keep your voice steady, âyouâre impossible.â
âshe is impossible,â she corrects smugly, emphasizing the distinction. âand you love it.â
you squirm, trying to shift away, but it only earns you a low chuckle and a firmer hold around your waist.
ârelax,â she coos, her fingers retreating just enough to drive you insane. ââm just here to keep ya company. whether that means getting a rise out of you or, yâknow... edginâ this pretty lilâ pussy for the rest of the night? your call.â
you swallow hard, caught between indignation and the way her touch sets your nerves on fire.
âmake your choice, babe,â she whispers, her voice playful but laced with a dangerous edge.
âjust try not to moan too loud. wouldnât wanna give him ideas.â
you close your eyes, torn between cursing her and praying she doesnât stop.
this night just got so much longer.
your brain is waging the ultimate war, a full-on battlefield of ethics versus⌠whatever this situation even is.
is it cheating if itâs your boyfriendâs hot female counterpart? technically, itâs still satoru, right? like, some weird multiverse loophole you could maybe rationalize later when guilt comes knocking.Â
but right now, the only thing knocking is your resolve, which is hanging by a thread as those nimble fingers dance along your clothed slit, teasing just enough to drive you to madness.
you bite down on your lip, a mix of frustration and need building as she leans in closer, her voice dripping with satisfaction. "youâre thinkinâ so loud, honey. wanna share with the class?â
âshut up,â you hiss, squirming as her fingers dip a little lower, just brushing the edge of your clothed clit.
she laughs softly, the sound rich and teasing, as if sheâs enjoying how much youâre struggling. âohhh, ya gonna give in, arenât cha?â she murmurs, her lips ghosting over the shell of your ear. âya so cute when youâre pretending to resist.â
your breathing hitches as she presses her palm against your clothed cunt, her fingers tracing delicate, torturous circles. itâs enough to make you curse the heavens for whatever cursed logic landed you here but also enough to make you moan softly despite yourself.
âfuck it,â you mutter under your breath, the words more to yourself than to her, and you stop fighting, letting her fingers dip inside your panties.
her grin is unmistakable â so much like satoruâs but with an edge of mischief thatâs uniquely her own. âthere she is,â she whispers, and her fingers find your clit, circling it with the kind of precision that makes your whole body tense.
âjesus christ,â you gasp, your hand shooting out to grip the sheets as she keeps her pace slow, deliberate, almost cruel in its teasing.
ânah,â she chuckles, her lips brushing against your neck, âjust satoru. but you can scream my name later if ya want.â
you stifle a groan, your mind racing between indignation and the hot, electric sensation pooling low in your stomach.
âcareful,â she teases, voice low and smug. âwouldnât wanna wake him, would you? unlessâŚâ she pauses, fingers pressing a little harder, â...you want him to watch.â
you choke on a mix of a gasp and a protest, twisting slightly to glare at her, but the sharp look youâre going for is lost in the haze of heat clouding your brain.
âyouâre the worst,â you manage to whisper, though it lacks any real bite.
âand yet, here you are,â she hums, pressing a kiss to the corner of your jaw. âenjoying every second of it.â
sheâs not wrong, and that realization alone might kill you.
you never thought youâd find yourself in a situation like this â not that you were opposed to the idea. women were great, truly a gift to the world.
but how many people could say they were being finger fucked by their boyfriendâs female counterpart? it was such a specific, cursedly unique predicament that you almost wanted to laugh.
almost.
if you werenât too busy biting back a moan as her fingers worked you with an infuriating rhythm.
the obscene sounds were soft, but in the quiet of the room, they echoed like a symphony of sins youâd be reckoning with later. and when her other hand pressed against your lips, fingers tapping lightly, you didnât even hesitate.
you took them into your mouth, sucking with enough fervor to have her humming appreciatively behind you.
âoh, youâre full of surprises,â she purred, her tone dripping with amusement. her nails â surprisingly manicured and oddly elegant â scraped against your tongue, and you felt a shiver crawl down your spine. ânever took ya for someone with an oral fixation. should i be jealous of him?â
you glared up at her weakly, but it only made her grin grow wider.
âno need to get all pouty, baby,â she teased, pulling her hand away with a wet pop! before dragging her nails down the side of your face in mock affection. âyouâre already givin' me plenty of attention.â
âyouâre so full of yourself,â you muttered, your voice muffled by a moan as her fingers curled inside you just right, hitting a spot that made your legs tremble.
âand yet, here you are,â she countered smugly, pressing a kiss to the side of your neck. âsuckin' my fingers like youâre starved for it. but donât worry pretty, iâve got plenty to give.â
âoh my god,â you groaned, torn between mortification and the unbearable heat flooding your veins.
âclose enough,â she chuckled, her lips brushing against your ear as her fingers continued their relentless, torturous pace. âbut you can scream that louder later. just remember to keep it down for him, yeah? wouldnât wanna give him a heart attack.â
as if on cue, you heard your boyfriend shift on the couch down the hallway, groaning in his sleep.
her grin pressed against your skin, smug as ever. âlooks like weâre on a time limit. better make it count, babe.â
itâs almost like she wants to be caught.
you can feel it in the deliberate pace of her fingers, the smug curl of her lips pressed against your ear, and the way her voice dips just low enough to make you think sheâs daring him to walk in.
whatâs he gonna do, anyway? accuse you of cheating? on him?
with him?
the thoughtâs absurd, hilarious even, if not for the way your brain is too scrambled to dwell on it.
âyouâre so tense,â she purrs, her tone that perfect mix of teasing and filth, her fingers quickening their pace with a precision thatâs downright sinful. ârelax, ma. youâre doing so well fâme.â
âsh-shut up,â you hiss, though it lacks conviction, your voice shaky and edged with desperation. the familiar, blinding heat in your stomach coils tighter, threatening to snap as her movements grow more deliberate.
but she doesnât shut up â of course, she doesnât.
âawww, donât get shy on me now,â she murmurs, her breath hot against your ear as her lips ghost along your jawline. her words spill out like poison dipped in honey, filthy and deliberate.
âyouâre sooo close, arenât ya? can feel it, babe. youâre twitching around my fingers. think youâll cum before he wakes up?â
you choke on a whimper, your head spinning as her words sink deep into your hazy mind. the wet, obscene shlick, shlick sounds of her fingers working you only makes it worse, the sound bouncing off the walls and mocking any remaining shred of dignity you have left.
âdonât fight it,â she coos, nipping lightly at your earlobe. âyou wanna cum sooo bad. just do it, babe. be a good girl for me.â
the knot in your stomach pulls impossibly tight, her voice the final push as she angles her fingers just right, and youâre gone.
you tremble, your hands gripping the sheets like a lifeline as your release crashes through you in waves so intense that youâre outright whimpering. the sound spills out before you can bite it back, and she takes full advantage, her fingers slowing just enough to draw it out, prolonging your undoing.
âthaaatâs it,â she hums, satisfaction dripping from her voice. âgood girl.â
you gasp for air, your body slack against hers as she finally pulls her hand away, leaving you boneless and dazed.
âsee?â she murmurs, pressing a kiss to your temple, her tone still annoyingly smug. âtold ya'd like it.â
before you can snap back, you hear a groan from the hallway â your boyfriend stirring on the couch.
âoops,â she whispers, her voice featherlight but laced with mischief as she leans closer to your ear. âthink he heard that?â
âË⥠â
gojo was not having it.
being sentenced to the couch while he â or she â got to hog your warmth? outrageous.
what kind of half-assed excuse was "girlâs night" anyway? he was the epitome of versatility! gender fluidity incarnate! hell, heâd rock a pair of heels better than most and still kick ass.
he rolled onto his back with a huff, staring at the ceiling and debating his next move.
screw it. he wasnât about to let himself â herself â win. this was his girlfriend, damn it.
with a frustrated groan, he dragged himself off the couch, trudging down the hallway. barefoot and irritated, he rehearsed what heâd say as he barged in, fully intent on dragging her ass out and reclaiming his rightful spot in your bed.
but the second he opened the door, all those thoughts evaporated.
his jaw dropped, his cerulean eyes widening behind the curtain of his disheveled hair.
there you were, his sweet, pliant girlfriend, lying there with your head tilted back, cheeks flushed, and lips wrapped around fem gojoâs fingers.
and the smell â fuck, the smell of you hung thick in the air, so sweet and heady it made his knees damn near buckle. it hit him like a freight train, and with it came a mix of emotions he couldnât even begin to untangle: shock, irritation, a twinge of jealousy, and, much to his own annoyance, arousal.
âare you serious right now?â his voice rang out, low and sharp, cutting through the quiet of the room.
you froze, your eyes snapping open as you turned to look at him. fem gojo, on the other hand, smirked, her fingers lazily slipping out of your mouth with an exaggerated pop!
âoh, hey,â she drawled, utterly unbothered by his presence. âtook ya long enough.â
âwhat the hell is this?â he gestured vaguely at the two of you, his gaze bouncing between your guilty expression and her smug one.
âgirlâs night,â she said matter-of-factly, her tone so casual it made his eye twitch.
âgirlâs night?â he repeated, his voice climbing an octave. âgirlâs night doesnât include ââ he waved his hands, â âwhatever this is!â
âreelaxx, dude,â she cooed, sitting up slightly but still keeping one possessive hand on your thigh. âyouâre overreacting.â
âoverreacting?!â
you flinched at his tone, but she didnât budge, only grinning wider.
âjealous, are we?â she teased, leaning back into the pillows like she owned the place. âdonât worry, thereâs plenty of her to go around.â
his jaw clenched, his hands curling into fists at his sides. âyou think this is funny?â
âa little,â she admitted, cocking her head. âbut itâs fun when youâre mad.â
he stormed over to the bed, yanking the covers off with dramatic flair.
âget out,â he demanded, pointing toward the door.
âmake me,â she challenged, her grin growing downright wicked.
oh, that was it.
âfine,â he said, his voice dropping to a dangerous rumble. âyou wanna play games? letâs play.â
in one swift motion, he was crawling onto the bed, caging both of you in with his presence. his gaze flicked to you, burning and possessive, before turning back to her.
âyou started this,â he growled, âso you better keep up.â
she raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued. âoh, iâll keep up.â
you swallowed hard, caught between their clashing egos and the growing heat simmering between the three of you.
this was about to get very interesting.
his hand clamps around your neck before you can even register whatâs happening, yanking you into his lap like you weigh nothing. the surprised squeal that escapes your lips is muffled instantly as his mouth crashes onto yours in a kiss so sloppy, so overwhelming, it leaves you gasping. his tongue dominates yours, hot and unrelenting, and you barely have time to catch your breath before he pulls away, his next words like a slap to your dignity.
âyouâre such a fuckin' mess,â he growls, his free hand coming down sharply on your ass with a loud smack!, the sting sends a jolt through you, and your body involuntarily arches against him. âlettin' her get her hands allll over you like a desperate little slut.â
you whimper, the sound earning a low, derisive laugh from him as he lands another smack!, his hand squeezing the soft flesh just to watch it jiggle.
âyou like that, huh?â he sneers, his grip tightening around your neck just enough to make your head spin. âbet youâre fuckin' soaked, arenât cha? letting anyone whoâll touch you have a go. pathetic.â
ânot anyone,â fem gojo pipes up from her spot on the bed, her voice laced with amusement. âjust me. well, technically you. so youâve only got yourself to blame, babe.â
he shoots her a glare, his lips curling into a snarl, but she doesnât seem fazed in the slightest. in fact, she looks downright entertained, one hand lazily palming her tits through her shirt, her grin smug as she watches the scene unfold.
âdonât mind me,â she says, her tone light and teasing. ââm just enjoyin' the view. gotta say, though, youâve got good taste.â
you shudder at the low hum in her voice, your face burning as her gaze flicks to where your body presses against his, her smirk deepening.
âshut up,â he snaps, his hand sliding down to your hip to yank you harder against him. âthis is my show now.â
âoh, by all means,â she chuckles, leaning back on her elbows as her fingers toy her nipples. âdonât let me stop you. though, technically, this is still me giving her what she wants.â
he growls, his grip on you tightening as he presses his forehead against yours, his eyes narrowing. âyouâre mine,â he hisses, the words like a brand against your skin. âdoesnât matter what fucking form iâm in. you get that?â
you nod weakly, your body trembling as his other hand lands another sharp smack! to your ass, drawing a coo of delight from his female counterpart.
âgood,â he murmurs, his lips brushing against yours before claiming them again, rough and punishing.
ânow, letâs see if you can prove it.â
âoh, this is getting good,â fem gojo says with a delighted laugh, her eyes twinkling with mischief as she settles in to watch the show â completely unbothered and clearly relishing every second of it.
âË⥠â
youâre losing it. outright losing it.
it was bad enough when gojo insisted on doing you in front of the mirror, forcing you to watch as he destroyed every last shred of your dignity.
but this? this was next level.
having someone else watch â and not just anyone, but the female version of him, sitting there with that same smug smirk plastered across her face as she enjoyed the show â this wasnât on your bingo card for the year.
and yet, you couldnât lie to yourself. the heat pooling between your legs was unmistakable, your slick soaking through the fabric of your panties and seeping onto his clothed crotch. the mess you were making was evident, each grind against him creating an obscene wet sound that seemed to echo in the room.
âoh, babe,â fem gojo moaned, her head tilting back as her hands finally slid under her shirt, teasing the plush swell of her chest. âare ya sure youâre not doin' this f'me? âcause this is better than any mirror show.â
âshut it,â male gojo snapped, his lips pulling away from yours, a string of spit connecting you as he shot her a glare. âyouâre lucky i havenât kicked your ass out yet.â
âplease,â she purred, rolling her nipples between her fingers with a soft moan, her smirk growing wider. âyouâre not kicking me out of anything. besides ââ her gaze flicked to you, her tongue darting out to wet her lips, â â she doesnât seem to mind me being here. do you, pretty?â
you whimpered, the humiliation and arousal swirling together in a heady cocktail that made it impossible to think straight.
âanswer her,â male gojo growled, his hand sliding down to grab your ass, forcing you to grind harder against him. âor are you too dumb to use your words?â
âi â i ââ your voice broke into a soft moan, your hands clutching his shoulders for support as you buried your face in his neck, unable to meet her eyes.
âlook at you,â she cooed, her voice dripping with amusement. âsuch a good girl, falling apart like that. and here i thought you were the composed one.â
âdonât get used to it,â male gojo bit out, yanking you back just enough to look at you, his gaze dark and commanding. âyouâre mine, got it? doesnât matter if itâs her or me watching. youâre still only ever gonna fall apart for me.â
âyouâre so possessive,â fem gojo teased, her voice laced with mockery as her hands continued their lazy exploration under her shirt. â's cute, honestly. but you canât deny itâs a little hot watching her fall apart like that.â
âyou really donât know when to shut up, do you?â he snapped, but the irritation in his voice was edged with something else, something darker, like her words were getting to him too.
âoh, i know when,â she said with a sultry grin, her fingers tweaking her nipples with a sharp intake of breath. âbut whereâs the fun in that?â
you gasped as his hips jerked up against you, the friction sending another wave of heat through your already overstimulated body.
âdonât get any ideas,â he growled, his attention snapping back to you, his grip tightening on your hips. âyouâre not done until i say you are.â
âgod,â fem gojo moaned softly, her hands sliding down her cunt as she watched you both. âif this is how you treat her in front of me, i canât imagine what youâre like when youâve got her all to yourself.â
her words only seemed to spur him on, his lips crashing into yours again, his teeth nipping at your lower lip before he pulled away just enough to whisper against your mouth.
âdonât worry,â he murmured, his voice low and dangerous. âweâll make sure she knows exactly what it feels like to belong to both of us.â
the promise in his tone sent a shiver down your spine, and the look in fem gojoâs eyes made it clear she had no intention of being a passive observer for long.
clothes hit the floor â or in your case, were outright shredded by your boyfriendâs impatient hands. the sound of ripping fabric and your startled gasp barely registered over the muffled curses coming from fem gojo, who was too distracted fumbling with her own shirt, her needy arousal making her hands clumsy.
âdamn it,â she muttered under her breath, finally managing to toss her shirt aside. âyouâd think iâd be good at undressing myself by now.â
âcouldâve fooled me,â male gojo quipped with a sharp grin, not even glancing her way as he manhandled you into position. âi couldâve stripped you in two seconds flat.â
âyeah, yeah,â she shot back, rolling her eyes as her shorts hit the floor. âmaybe i wanted to take my time.â
he didnât reply. instead, his hands clamped down on your waist, and before you could even process what was happening, you found yourself being flung off his lap. you landed on your stomach, a surprised cry escaping your lips as your face ended up inches away from fem gojoâs already glistening cunt.
the sweet, heady scent of her arousal flooded your senses, making your head spin.
âoh?â she cooed, leaning back on her elbows and spreading her legs a little wider, her lips curving into a wicked smile. âis this your way of apologizing? putting her in prime position f'me?â
âshut up,â male gojo snapped, his voice sharp as his hands gripped your hips again, pulling them up so your ass was in the air. âsheâs here to learn who she belongs to.â
âsure,â fem gojo said, clearly unconvinced as her fingers trailed teasingly along the inside of her thighs. âand if she just so happens to learn how to make me feel good in the process, well, thatâs just a bonus, hm?â
you whimpered, your mind spinning as you tried to ground yourself, but the sharp snap of your boyfriendâs hips against you derailed every coherent thought.
âwhatâs wrong, sweetheart?â he hissed, his pace unrelenting as he pounded into you from behind. âya so quiet now. whereâs all that pretty whinin' you were doing earlier?â
âh-her mouthâs busy,â fem gojo chimed in with a laugh, her hand sliding into your hair to guide your face closer to her. âor at least, it should be. come on, ma. show me what ya got.â
you hesitated, your face burning with a mix of humiliation and arousal, but a sharp smack! on your ass from male gojo left you gasping.
âdonât keep her waiting,â he growled, jealousy dripping from every word as his nails dug into your skin. âyou were so eager to let her touch you before. letâs see how you like being used.â
âgod,â fem gojo moaned softly as your tongue tentatively flicked over her slick folds, the taste of her flooding your senses. âsheâs so good, isnât she?â
he scoffed, his thrusts growing harsher, each one making your body jolt forward against her. âsheâs good because i made her that way,â he bit out, his voice low and possessive. âdonât forget who she comes back to every night.â
âweâll see about that,â she teased, her fingers tightening in your hair as her hips rolled against your mouth. âif she keeps this up, she might be spending a few more nights with me instead.â
âover my dead body,â he snarled, his hand reaching around to toy with your clit, the rough circles of his fingers sending shockwaves through your body.
you whimpered against her, the vibrations drawing a shuddering gasp from her lips.
âoh, fuck,â she moaned, her head tilting back as her free hand slid up to tweak her nipple. âyouâre gonna make me cum, babe. keep goin' âdonât stop.â
male gojoâs hand tightened on your hip, his rhythm faltering slightly as he let out a low, guttural growl.
âsheâs not coming for you,â he spat, leaning down until his chest was flush against your back, his breath hot against your ear. âsheâs coming because of me.â
âwhatever you need to tell yourself,â fem gojo panted, her voice laced with amusement and ecstasy as her hips bucked against your face. âbut we both know who sheâs really falling apart for right now.â
your thoughts were spiraling. absolutely spiraling.
how the hell were you supposed to explain this?
my boyfriendâs giving me the most insane backshots of my life while iâm eating out the female version of him.
except⌠she wasnât just âhimâ anymore. she was her, right? so does that make her your girlfriend? was it cheating? was it some weird alternate-universe poly thing?
âugh, no time to think,â you muttered under your breath, your words muffled as you dragged your tongue along fem gojoâs slit.
âwhatâs that, sweetheart?â fem gojo purred, her hand tightening in your hair as her thighs quivered under your grip. âdonât stop on my account. youâre doing so good.â
âoh, donât stroke her ego,â male gojo snapped, punctuating his words with a sharp thrust that had your entire body jolting forward, your face pressing impossibly closer to fem gojoâs dripping cunt. âsheâs not that good yet.â
âjealous much?â fem gojo teased, her voice lilting and smug as she rolled her hips against your mouth. âsheâs got me riiight on the edge, babe. maybe you should let her focus instead of barking orders like youâre the only one who matters here.â
âfocus?â he sneered, leaning down until his chest was pressed against your back, his breath hot against your ear. âsheâs too busy falling apart to focus. look at her â her hands are shaking.â
you whimpered at his words, your hands trembling as you tried your best to keep fem gojoâs thighs spread wide.
âawwww, baby,â she cooed, her fingers stroking your hair gently, a stark contrast to the vulgar praise spilling from her lips. âdonât listen to him. youâre doing amazing. so eager, so pliant â just like i knew youâd be.â
âpliant, huh?â male gojo growled, his hands gripping your hips hard enough to bruise. âis that what you think this is? you think sheâs here for you?â
âsheâs here for both of us,â fem gojo shot back, her smirk widening as she tugged your hair, forcing you to look up at her. âright, babe? tell him how much you like making me feel good.â
you tried to answer, but the words were swallowed up by a moan as male gojoâs hand snaked around to rub tight, merciless circles against your clit.
âshe doesnât have to say anything,â he said, his voice low and dark, laced with jealousy. âher bodyâs doing allll the talkin'. look at the mess sheâs making.â
âmaybe thatâs because youâre being so rough,â fem gojo said, rolling her eyes even as her thighs trembled against your face.
âor maybe ââ her voice dropped, dripping with faux sweetness as her smirk turned wicked, â â itâs 'cause she likes me better.â
that set him off.
with a low, guttural growl, he pulled you back sharply, forcing you to arch against him as he slammed into you with a brutal pace, the sound of skin slapping against skin filling the room.
âsay it,â he demanded, his voice rough as his fingers dug into your hips. âtell her who you belong to.â
âoh, donât make her choose,â fem gojo said, her tone mockingly sweet. âsheâs doin' so well for both of us. arenât cha, babe?â
you whimpered, your mind too clouded with pleasure to form a coherent response, and she laughed, low and sultry, her fingers sliding along your jaw to tilt your slick-covered face up.
âpoor thing,â she murmured, her lips brushing against your ear. âdonât worry. you donât have to pick. weâll just take turns.â
male gojoâs hand tangled in your hair, yanking your head back to meet his blazing gaze.
âno,â he growled, his jealousy boiling over as his hips snapped against yours. âsheâs mine.â
âours,â fem gojo corrected, her voice smug as she ran her tongue along your flushed cheek, laughing when he snarled in response.
âdream on,â he spat, his possessiveness evident in every word, every movement, every sharp thrust.
and you? you were somewhere in the middle of it all, lost in the overwhelming heat of them, the push and pull of their jealousy, their praise, their relentless need to claim you.
âË⥠â
the room at two in the morning was a symphony of chaos and filth, the soundtrack of your life choices. gojoâs low muttering against his breath, some mix of cocky praise and jealous snarling, occasionally punctuated with a sharp smack! to your ass. your muffled whimpers and gasps as your face stayed buried between fem gojoâs legs, and her breathy, high-pitched praises as she tugged on your hair like she owned you.
âthaaatâs it, babe,â fem gojo cooed, her fingers tightening in your hair. âs'good f'me, arenât cha? suuccch a good girl.â
wait, hold on. fem gojo pulling your hair? wasnât that supposed to be a boyfriend gojo thing?
before your brain could unravel that disturbing yet arousing conundrum, she yanked hard, pulling your face impossibly closer. your nose pressed rudely against her clit, and the sudden pressure had her legs trembling around your head.
âoh â fuck, fuck, fuck,â she whimpered, her usually smug voice cracking as her hips bucked involuntarily.
and then it happened.
you barely had time to process her thighs clamping down around your ears, muffling everything but the obscene sounds of her unraveling. warm liquid gushed against your lips, your chin, even dribbling down your neck, as fem gojo outright squirted.
âoh my god,â you thought, frozen in shock even as your boyfriendâs hips snapped sharply into yours again, jarring you forward for what felt like the millionth time tonight.
âholy shit,â male gojo muttered, his voice equal parts awe and irritation as he caught sight of his counterpartâs unrestrained climax. âyou fuckin' squirted? thatâs my thing!â
fem gojo, still coming down from her high, let out a breathless laugh, her legs falling limp as she sprawled back on the bed.
âlooks like your girlâs a fast learner,â she teased, her chest rising and falling as she tried to catch her breath.
âlearner, my ass,â he shot back, a sharp thrust making you moan against fem gojoâs overstimulated folds. âi trained her to be this good.â
âuh-huh,â fem gojo drawled lazily, running a hand through her sweat-dampened hair. âthen whyâd she just make me squirt first? sounds like sheâs got a natural talent you couldnât teach.â
âshut up,â he growled, his pace picking up as he slammed into you harder, clearly trying to reassert dominance.
you, meanwhile, were somewhere between mortification and pride.
first time eating someone out, and they squirted. that was definitely going on the mental highlight reel of your life â even if it was your boyfriendâs female counterpart.
you figured you might as well keep going with fem gojo. after all, your boyfriend had the stamina of a goddamn bull and a petty streak longer than your to-do list. no way he was letting you off easy after everything tonight.
lucky you, though â heâd also trained you well enough to cum at the same time as him. how lovely.
âŚignoring the fact that your current position was utterly humiliating. your back arched up so prettily, your face now smooshed between fem gojoâs outrageously, illegally hot rack.
âsuck,â she demanded, her voice dripping with the same playful authority you usually heard from your boyfriend, but with a distinctly feminine lilt that had you shivering.
âoh, donât act like youâre in charge,â gojo snapped from behind you, his thrusts growing sharper as if to punctuate his annoyance. âyouâre just here for the ride.â
âand youâre here throwing a tantrum,â fem gojo shot back, her smirk evident in her tone as her hands pressed you deeper into her chest. âyouâre the one that left her unsupervised.â
you barely registered their bickering. your head was swimming, lost in the overwhelming heat of fem gojoâs body and the relentless rhythm of your boyfriend behind you. your tongue flicked over her hardened nipple, drawing a satisfied gasp from her lips as she arched into you.
âgood giirrl,â fem gojo purred, her fingers threading through your hair again, keeping your face buried against her. âyouâre learning so fast.â
âdonât praise her for that!â gojo barked, his voice tinged with frustration even as he groaned, his hips snapping against yours. âsheâs mine, not yours, so quit actin' like ya got a claim on her!â
âif sheâs yours, then whyâs she so eager to listen to me?â fem gojo teased, her breath hitching as your tongue swirled around her sensitive nipple.
âyou wanna see who she listens to?â he growled, leaning over you as his hand snaked around your waist, his fingers circling your clit in quick, punishing strokes.
that did it. the tension coiling low in your stomach snapped, and you came with a muffled cry against fem gojoâs chest, your whole body trembling as pleasure washed over you.
at the same time, gojoâs hips stuttered against yours, his grip tightening as he groaned through gritted teeth, spilling into you with one last deep thrust.
the room fell silent except for your ragged breathing and fem gojoâs low chuckle as she trailed her fingers through your hair.
âaww,â she cooed, her voice dripping with amusement. âlooks like we both won, huh?â
âwe?â gojo barked, glaring at her over your back. âyouâre lucky i didnât kick your ass out of this bed halfway through.â
âlucky?â she repeated, her smirk widening as she leaned down to press a kiss to your temple. âplease, babe. iâve got her attention. youâre just here to keep things interesting.â
gojo had had enough. sure, heâd made you see stars, made you fall apart on his dick like he always did. and yeah, heâd just had his own finish, but that didnât matter.
he was greedy. always greedy.
his icy blue eyes darted to fem gojo, still lounging smugly with that shit-eating grin plastered across her pretty face. oh, he hated seeing his own smugness reflected like that.
âalright,â he huffed, running a hand through his disheveled hair before cracking his neck. âyou wanna play games? fine. hold her for me.â
âoh?â fem gojo purred, clearly intrigued, though she raised an eyebrow. âwhatâs this now?â
âdonât ask questions, just do it,â he snapped, his tone sharp but impatient.
to your surprise â and maybe horror â fem gojo complied, wrapping her arms around your waist and pulling you back against her chest, locking you in place.
âgood,â gojo muttered, his gaze dropping to your already trembling body. his lips quirked into a devilish smirk as he cracked his knuckles.
ânow, sweetheart,â he said, his voice saccharine and low as he leaned down to meet your wide-eyed gaze, âyouâre gonna give me six more. f'good luck. for my six eyes. makes sense, right?â
âs-six?â you stammered, your voice barely audible as you squirmed in fem gojoâs hold.
âdonât pass out before number three, okay?â fem gojo chimed in, her breath tickling your ear as she pressed a playful kiss to your temple.
âoh, she wonât,â gojo assured her, his tone all cocky confidence as his fingers found your oversensitive clit, circling it slowly, almost mockingly. âiâve trained her too well for that.â
âyouâre insane,â you gasped, your voice breaking as his movements picked up, sending shockwaves through your overstimulated body.
âand you love it,â he shot back, grinning as your hips bucked involuntarily.
âsheâs already shakin',â fem gojo mused, her hands holding you firmly in place as you writhed in her grip. âthink she can even make it to six?â
âsheâll make it,â gojo said confidently, his fingers dipping lower to press inside you.
you let out a strangled moan, your body arching against fem gojo as she held you tighter.
âone down,â gojo teased as you convulsed around his fingers, your first orgasm ripping through you with humiliating ease.
âjust five more, baby,â fem gojo cooed, brushing her lips against your ear. âthink ya cunt can handle it?â
you didnât have the breath to answer, already lost in the haze of pleasure and anticipation as gojo smirked down at you.
âdonât worry,â he murmured, sliding his fingers out only to replace them with his cock, the stretch sending your mind reeling.
âweâve got allll night.â
âË⥠â
the first rays of the sun filtered into your room, casting soft golden streaks across the absolute battlefield that was your bed. clothes were long forgotten, scattered along with the remnants of your once-organized collection of sex toys â all strewn haphazardly on the mattress and floor, evidence of what youâd been subjected to.
but you couldnât exactly reflect on the mess, not when your mind was lost in the fog of overstimulation.
your body dangled limply in fem gojoâs strong, steady arms, her breath warm against your ear as she held you upright. your head lolled back against her shoulder, drool slipping from the corner of your lips as your boyfriend once again set a punishing rhythm with his hips.
âcâmon, sweetheart,â he drawled, his voice rough from hours of exertion but no less smug. âwhat number are we on now?â
you tried to answer, you really did, but all that came out was a broken, incoherent moan, your voice cracking as your legs trembled helplessly.
âwhat was that?â fem gojo teased, her laughter soft and melodic as she adjusted her grip on you, her fingers brushing over your slick, sweat-dampened skin. âi think she lost count. did we hit six or are we on nine?â
âdefinitely nine,â gojo declared, grinning as he leaned down to press a kiss to your temple. âbut she canât keep up. guess iâll just have to count for her.â
you whined, barely able to lift your arms, let alone argue.
âpoor thing,â fem gojo cooed, her voice dripping with mock sympathy as her lips trailed along your neck. âbet her brainâs all mush now. arenât ya, pretty?â
you whimpered in response, your body shuddering as another wave of pleasure surged through you, leaving you gasping and clutching at fem gojoâs arms for support.
âlook at that,â your boyfriend said with a chuckle, his fingers digging into your hips as he pulled you closer. âsheâs still got some fight in her.â
âfor now,â fem gojo quipped, smirking as she nuzzled into your hair.
âbut i think weâve got her for a few more rounds before she taps out.â
âgood,â gojo muttered, his pace quickening as his grin widened. ââm not done yet.â
âË⥠â
you shouldâve known better. shouldâve known better than to assume fem gojo would let up.
sure, sheâd been lounging lazily for a while, playing her role as the smug spectator while her male counterpart relentlessly worked you over. but the thing about gojo â male or female â was that patience wasnât exactly their virtue.
âyâknow,â fem gojo began, her tone as sweet as honey but laced with mischief as she propped her chin on your shoulder, her lips brushing against your ear. âi think we should switch things up for the finale.â
âfinale?â you rasped, your voice hoarse and barely audible, every muscle in your body trembling from the sheer exertion.
âyeeaah, finale,â fem gojo purred, her fingers tracing lazy patterns on your thighs as she glanced up at her male counterpart, who raised a curious brow. âweâve been so focused on her. donât you think itâs time she gives you some love, hmm?â
gojo smirked, catching on immediately. âoh? youâre suggesting somethin'?â
âjust an idea,â she said with a shrug, though her grin was positively wicked. âhow about she thanks you properly? yâknow, with her mouth.â
your head snapped up weakly, eyes wide. âwait ââ
âshhhh, sweetheart,â fem gojo cooed, pressing a finger to your lips. ââs only fair, donât cha think? heâs worked so hard.â
âexactly,â gojo chimed in, already moving to position himself over you, his knees framing your chest as he settled on the bed. âyou should thank me.â
before you could protest â or muster the energy to protest â you felt fem gojoâs hands on your thighs, spreading them apart with ease.
âand while youâre doing that,â she murmured, her breath warm against your inner thighs as she lowered herself between them, âiâll take care of this pretty little cunt. sound good?â
you didnât even have the chance to respond before her tongue was on you, dragging a loong, languid stripe up your soaked folds that made your back arch off the bed.
âshit,â you gasped, your hands clutching at the pillows beneath your head as your boyfriend smirked down at you.
âopen up, sweetheart,â he said, his voice low and commanding as he cupped your jaw, guiding you to take him into your mouth.
you whimpered, your lips parting obediently as he slid inside, the weight of him on your tongue making your eyes flutter shut.
âthaaatâs it,â he praised, his voice strained as he began to move, his hips rolling in slow, deliberate motions. âsuch a good girl f'me.â
beneath him, fem gojo was working you over with the precision of someone who knew exactly what they were doing. her tongue flicked against your clit, her lips wrapping around it to suck softly before diving back down, licking and lapping at you like a woman starved.
âgod, you taste so good,â she mumbled, her voice muffled against your folds as she gripped your thighs tighter, holding you in place. âi could do this all day.â
your muffled moans vibrated around your boyfriendâs cock, making him groan as he tangled his fingers in your hair.
âfuck,â he hissed, his head falling back as his movements quickened. âyouâre gonna make me lose it, baby.â
the combination of sensations â the weight of your boyfriend in your mouth, the relentless pace of fem gojoâs tongue â was overwhelming, pushing you closer and closer to the edge once again.
âdonât pass out on us now,â fem gojo teased, her voice laced with amusement as she felt you clench around nothing, your body trembling violently. âyouâve got one more in you, donâtcha, sweetheart?â
you werenât sure how youâd survive this, but as your boyfriendâs groans grew louder and fem gojoâs ministrations became even more fervent, you realized there was no escaping it.
you were completely at their mercy, and god, you werenât sure if youâd ever recover.
the room was chaos, pure and utter chaos. the obscene mix of sounds â gojoâs low groans, your muffled gags, and fem gojoâs pleased hums â was almost too much for your fried brain to process.
you thought you were doing pretty well, honestly. your boyfriendâs usual sarcasm and taunting remarks had been steadily replaced by breathy curses and groans of approval.
âfuck, baby,â he muttered, his hand in your hair guiding you at a steady pace. âyouâre so damn good at this â shit, look at you, taking me so well ââ
you felt a flicker of pride at that, the kind that came with knowing you were completely wrecking him. but fem gojo? oh, she had other plans.
âaww, donât forget 'bout me,â she chimed, her voice dripping with amusement as she leaned down, her breath warm against your oversensitive core. âcanât have you hogging all the fun, can we?â
before you could even process her words, her hand came down, a sharp slap! landing square on your clit.
the jolt of pleasure-pain tore a strangled sound from your throat â a sound that unfortunately turned into a gag as your body jerked in surprise, taking your boyfriend deeper than you ever had before.
âholy shit,â gojo choked out, his hips snapping forward instinctively as your throat spasmed around him. âfuck fuck fuck â wait! ââ
too late. the sudden sensation was too much for him to handle, and with a low, guttural groan, he came, hot and thick down your throat.
âgood â hah â girl,â he panted, his grip on your hair tightening as he rode out his high, his chest heaving. âgoddamn â youâre perfect.â
but you barely had time to process his words before your body betrayed you again. fem gojo had taken full advantage of your momentary distraction, her tongue and fingers working in tandem to bring you right to the edge â and then push you right over it.
âthere it is,â she cooed as your thighs tensed around her head, her tongue still lapping at you eagerly. âgod, youâre so pretty when you lose it.â
and lose it, you did. with a loud cry muffled by the aftermath of your boyfriendâs climax, you came, harder than you ever had before. the intense wave of pleasure ripped through you, your slick gushing out in a way that left both you and fem gojo absolutely stunned.
âwell, well,â fem gojo murmured, pulling back just enough to wipe her soaked face with the back of her hand, a wicked grin spreading across her lips. âlooks like weâre even now, huh?â
gojoâs dazed expression quickly turned smug as he caught his breath, his hand still tangled in your hair. âa squirt for a squirt?â he quipped, his grin sharp as he looked between the two of you. ânot bad, sweetheart. iâm almost impressed.â
you groaned, your face burning as you buried it in the nearest pillow, both mortified and completely spent.
âaw, donât get shy now,â fem gojo teased, leaning down to press a kiss to your thigh. âyou did so well. maybe next time, iâll let you return the favor properly.â
ânext time?â you croaked, your voice hoarse and barely above a whisper.
âof course,â she said with a wink, already sitting up and stretching like she hadnât just been part of the most insane night of your life. âyou donât think this is a one-time thing, do you?â
gojo groaned, flopping onto the bed beside you with a lazy grin. âoh, definitely not,â he said, brushing a hand through his hair. âyouâre stuck with both of us now, babe.â
and judging by the way they both looked at you â smug, teasing, and entirely too pleased with themselves â you knew you were in for a long ride.
you were done.
like, stick-a-fork-in-you done.
lying there in a dazed mess of tangled sheets and sore limbs, your legs were trembling so hard you swore you could start a minor earthquake. you didnât even have the strength to bat an eye as male gojo leaned over you, brushing away the strands of hair plastered to your forehead with an almost uncharacteristic tenderness.
âbaby, you good?â he asked, a rare note of genuine concern lacing his voice.
âdoes she look good to you?â fem gojo cut in, lounging nearby with a towel draped over her shoulder. she reached for your pussy tentatively, only for you to weakly swat her hand away.
âdonât you dare.â your voice was hoarse, barely a whisper, but it still made her chuckle.
ârelax, iâm just kidding!⌠mostly,â she added with a wink, settling back as male gojo shot her a glare.
âsheâs off-limits right now,â he said firmly, tossing a bottle of water onto the bed. âhere, drink. if she passes out, itâs your fault.â
you groaned, rolling your eyes but still accepting the water with shaky hands. âlike itâs just her fault,â you mumbled, earning a sheepish grin from him.
âyouâre right, babe,â he admitted, leaning in to kiss your forehead. âbut, câmon. twelve orgasms? i mean, thatâs a record, right? a feat of human engineering, honestly.â
fem gojo scoffed, sitting up to stretch. âplease, if i wasnât here, she wouldnât have made it past six. youâre welcome, by the way.â
âyouâre welcome for the stamina training i gave her,â he shot back, sticking out his tongue.
âboth of you, shut up,â you groaned, dragging the towel over your face. âmy entire body feels like jelly, and if one of you so much as breathes near me, iâm out the window.â
âsheâs spicy when sheâs exhausted,â fem gojo murmured with a smirk, tossing her head back dramatically. âfine, fine. iâll behave.â
for now.
male gojo wrapped an arm around your waist, gently pulling you against his chest as fem gojo slid in on your other side. âweâll take care of you,â he murmured softly, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.
âmmm,â was all you could muster, melting into his warmth despite yourself.
âyouâre amazing, yâknow that?â fem gojo whispered, brushing a hand over your hair. âan absolute goddess. weâre lucky to have you.â
you snorted weakly. âoh, now youâre sweet.â
âonly âcause you look like youâve been through a war,â she teased.
male gojo tightened his hold on you, his voice softening. âbut seriously, babe. if we went too far ââ
âyou think?â you interrupted, cracking open one eye to glare at him.
âokay, fair. but weâll make it up to you. promise.â
fem gojo hummed in agreement, already grabbing a nearby lotion bottle. âmassages, snacks, cuddles. whatever you need.â
and for once, they actually seemed serious. no teasing, no ulterior motives â just two ridiculously hot versions of your boyfriend determined to take care of you.
maybe having both of them wasnât so bad⌠as long as you kept fem gojoâs hands away from certain places.
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"best friends who kiss?"
character/s: bakugo katsuki
summary: recently, your best friend has been kissing you at random times. you have no idea why because he refuses to talk about it. either way, you're not about to let this to ruin your precious friendship.
genre & trope: fluff, best friends to lovers, angry confessions, reader is terrified of love but bakugo wants them so bad đ, tw kind of ooc bakugo
a/n: i've been watching a lot of pride & prejudice and bridgerton scenes n i'm now obsessed angry confessions 𤊠+ this is heavily inspired by that scene in little women :) ALSO i haven't posted in a year đ so pls be nice ik my writing's rusty in this :'D
the first time bakugou katsuki kissed you, he pretended he never did.
"what... " you brush your fingers against your bottom lip, your whole face hot. "what the hell was that for?"
"what?" bakugo shrugs, feigning innocence as he takes a swig of his soda.
you try and trace back the events that could have led to the kiss.
you said something along the lines of: "i wish i had a boyfriend. i could definitely pull a cute guy off the street."
then you heard him scoff and say: "no man's sane enough to put up with your insufferable ass." ăźor something more insulting than that.
you can't remember what you said in response, and you rack your brain to figure out what prompted him to grab your face and kiss you. it's impossible when all you can think about is the unexpected supple feel of his lips, its faint ghost still lingering on yours.
"that kiss, katsuki! you violated my mouth!"
"dunno what you're talking about. you hit your head or something?"
you blink and second-guess yourself for a second.
"okay, no. you're not gonna gaslight your way out of this." you swat his arm, earning an irked glare from him. "why the hell did you kiss me?"
"you're imagining things, idiot. this stupid game's givin' ya some serious brain damage for sure."
he stands up and swings his bag over his shoulder.
"where are you going? we're not done yetăź!"
and he's out of the door.
was he drunk off his soda? maybe he kissed you to mess with your head. he's not that cruel though, you think. maybe he couldn't think of any other way to shut you upăź that was something he always struggled with after all.
at least the second time bakugo katsuki kissed you, he was kind enough to warn you.
after enduring the most awkward hour-long study session with him, you decide to put an end to your agony by wrapping it up. you start gathering your things when he stops you with a calloused hand on your wrist.
"what?" you turn to him, your cheeks already heating up from his touch.
there are no thoughts you could read behind those vermillion eyes, and all of a sudden, you don't know your best friend very well anymore.
he walks some tentative steps closer to you until the back of your knees hit the table. he cradles your jaw with such delicacy you didn't even know he was capable of. he slips past your awaiting lips and presses his nose on the side of your head, his warm breath kissing your flushed skin.
"punch me in the face and scram if you don't want this, got it?"
you gulp and forget to answer if not for the gentle squeeze on your wrist. "y/n, you got it?"
"s-sure."
when you two kiss, it's different from last time. it's unhurried, curious, and so intoxicating. the kiss speaks: 'i want you. i want you. i want you' but whose thoughts are these?
he groans into your lips as if to urge you to keep up with the sheer hungriness that has consumed him. you try your best to do so as he deepens the kiss with a palm on the back of your head and practically drinks you in. he doesn't pull away until he hears the tiny whine that escapes you.
"shit, sorry." he mutters, avoiding your stunned gaze.
"t's okay."
"did i hurt you?" the quiet lilt of his voice surprises you.
"no, no. i'm okay, but why'd you kiăź"
"bye." he blurts out as he turns to the door and leaves, as if he didn't just invaded your mouth and permanently tainted the years of friendship you two have had. you click your tongue as the heat subsides in your cheeks.
"son of a bitch."
the third time bakugo katsuki kissed you, you let him, and he didn't stop.
you had barely escaped death when you lost your footing while sparring with todoroki. naturally, bakugo yelled the poor guy's ear off and would have murdered him if eraserhead hadn't interfered at the last second.
now, you find yourself heaving in your bed. you don't know whether your hastened pulse is from the adrenaline rush or from the fact that bakugo is all over you right now.
he's planting feather-light kisses all over youăź your cheeks, your nose, your forehead, your eyelids, your hands, and your wrist, as panicked murmurs spill out of him in between kisses. 'you scared the hell out of me. you have no idea, fuck. are you okay? are you really okay? tell me you're okay, y/n.'
"i'm okayăź" you barely manage to gasp before he dips his lips into yours, desperate and frantic. tremulous hands find solace in your hips as he holds you, gentle enough not to mar your injuries but snug enough to assure his restless heart that you are safe.
your head feels hazy. your limbs ache and lie motionless, and though your lips could barely move to reciprocate his kisses as much as you wanted to, bakugo didn't stop. you tried to ask him about it the next morning, but of course, he ignored you and walked away.
you don't know when he stopped kissing you that night. all you know is that there was a line that was crossed, and your friendship was never going to be the same again.
bakugo katsuki is going to kiss you again. your heart thrums incessantly. whether it's dread or anticipationăź you don't know.
you think about the sensation of his lips that's become so familiar to you that you've learned to crave it. it shouldn't be familiar to you, and you sure as hell shouldn't want it. so you do what you think is necessary.
you kick him in the shin.
"motherfăź!" sure enough, he's pissed. "what the hell is wrong with you?!"
"what the hell is wrong with you?!"
"i was going toăź"
"no! you're not gonna kiss me again and walk away and pretend it never happened. you're messing with my head, katsuki! it's not funny!"
"wasn't trying to be funny!" he barks back.
"okay, so what exactly are you trying to do? what is this? i meanăź" you stammer, struggling to find the words. "katsuki, what are we?"
he sighs and shifts his stance, his discomfort apparent. when the silence lingers on for too long, you speak.
"well, whatever it is that you want from me, we're going to stay friends. nothing more, nothing less. that's it." your breath hitches, and you don't know why you feel like crying as you speak. "... so i don't want your stinky mouth anywhere on me again."
silence weighs heavily between you. sometimes you wish you didn't know him too well, then the hurt he veils in his eyes wouldn't be so plain and vivid to you, and you would have walked away by now without an ounce of remorse.
"i like you, y/n." is all he could say when he finally speaks.
you shake your head. "no, you're just confused."
"i'm not confused. i like you."
"katsuki, you've been bitchless all your life, and i'm just the closest thing to a s/o. maybe go take a walk or something."
"i like you." he persists. "i've liked your stupid ass forăź"
"stop saying that. you don't."
"i do, and you like me tooăź"
"what?!" you laugh incredulously.
'who does this dumbass think he is?' is he right? surely, he's not. then what are you so afraid of in the first place? why have you been counting down the days until he kisses you again? why do you yearn for his touch as if it's something you own? why do you feel so infuriated and so tormented when he leaves the room after kissing you?
you do what is necessary again.
"you're delusional!" you yell at his face, a childish shrill that's awfully familiar to your childhood best friend.
"jesus christ." he inhales sharply in frustration. "you're a fucking pussy, y/n."
you clench your jaw and match his glare. anger surges in your chest and bleeds into your voice.
"i'm not the one who chickens out after kissing their best friend! you can't even acknowledge the fact that you kissed me because you'reăź!"
"do you think i want to chicken out? why do you think i run away after kissing you?! if i stayed and confessed all this shit the first time, you would've refused to hear it like the damn coward you are!" he leans close to you, his voice lowering into a ragged snarl that quickens your pulse. "and you're just proving it right now, y/n. you're always going to shut this down and deny your feelings because you're a fucking pussy. you're terrified of relationships, and it's dumbest shit ever. pathetic, really."
you rear back from his words. if anything, you always thought it was katsuki who was afraid of love. now, you can't help but feel small and vulnerable underneath his searing gaze.
"it's not dumb..." you shuffle uncomfortably. "what, i'm supposed to ruin our friendship for a relationship that we're going to break off anyway?"
"we're not going to break it off."
"how do you know that?"
"because i'll be the best goddamn boyfriend in the world!"
"first of all, gross." you scoff. "second of all, it's never gonna work out! you're going to get sick of me in three days max."
"i've known you since we were brats, and i still want you."
"you literally said no man's sane enough to put up with my obnoxious ass."
he smirks. "i said 'insufferable ass'."
"katsuki!" you fight the urge to strangle him and punch that stupid smile off his face.
"wasn't even serious that time." he grimaces and reluctantly continues. "you know damn well you can pull any guy you want, and he'd be the luckiest bastard on earth."
if it were any other day, you'd grin at him and say 'i told you so,' but your lips remain unmoved, and your eyes stay dim. you're afraid you'll never go back to being the same katsuki and y/n again.
"this is pointless, katsuki. i mean, look! we're already fighting." you grouch and tell yourself you don't want this. "i still don't want us to happen so while this friendship is still salvable, let's agree to stay friends, and whatever sappy shit you feel for meăź suck it up."
in one swift motion, he closes the distance between you, his face hovering dangerously over yours.
"suck it up?" he breathes, his face taut in frustration. "restraining myself from you is the hardest shit i've ever had to do. it takes everything in me not to kiss your stupid face!"
he shudders, weakly resting his forehead against yours as if this conversation alone has exhausted him. still, he goes on.
"and everytime i failedăź everytime i kissed those lips, it was... a moment of weakness, but that's the fucking problemăź you're just..." he buries his face into the crook of your neck, a desperate attempt to escape your wide-eyed gaze. "i'm weak for you, y/n. every second. and it drives me fucking insane that you keep running away from me."
he rises to meet your eyes again. the cadence of his voice changes into something weak and desperate, stripped of all the pride and anger he's ever known.
"i love youăź fuck. i love you." he lets the words hang in the air, letting the words hear itself spoken because for once, you're not stopping him. "i love you, so please... let me."
after much thought and another agonizing minute of silence, you lean in to kiss bakugo katsuki.
he kisses back almost instantly and revels in the way you wrap your arms around his neck and bear your weight on him completely. he kisses back ardently, his pent-up desires and years of longing etched in the way he seeks your lips, kiss after kiss after kiss.
when you finally pull away, you're met with a devilish smirk, his begging eyes long gone. you wonder to yourself when you'll see those eyes again.
"took ya long enough." he kisses you again. he raises a brow at the way you're caging him in your arms. "jesus, no one's gonna snatch me from you."
"i'm making sure you don't run away again, dumbass."
"i won't." he says earnestly as he props his forehead against yours. "and you won't either. i'll make sure of that."
you nod your head with a giddy smile as he pecks your lips again.
"so..." you say as you exaggerate a pensive look, a cheeky grin spreading across your face. "we're best friends who occasionally kiss?"
he rolls his eyes. "you're impossible."
"recite that speech again, and i'll consider calling you my boyfriend."
"fuck off!"
TAGLIST [1/2] @uxavity @joy-the-reader @kiiraes @escapenightmare @afk-dreaminq @avocamich @theboredvee @wonderwrench @ur-local-simp @p-ol @x0xuglyh0tgrl2005xoxo @cosmonettica @melin-oe @mitzi127 @lilac-o @r2katsu @bakucumsackslut @idunnomynamesince2005 @astralwaifu @taurus852 @creepyproxies @maycat-19-142 @stella-fleurets @veenxys @devilgirlcrybabiey @drawingaddict @kageyama-i-want-tobiors @lexiv-web @angelshimaa @izukus-gf @christiansdior @homosexualjohnwayne @uwiuwi @hirugummies @cupidines @loveisningning (bold couldn't be tagged)
#bakugo katsuki x reader#bakugo x reader#bakugo katsuki x you#bakugo x you#bnha x reader#bnha x you#mha x reader#mha x you#bakugo katsuki drabbles#bakugo drabbles#bnha drabbles#bnha imagines#mha imagines#bakugo fluff#bakugo katsuki fluff#bnha headcanons#mha headcanons
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The Girlfriend Experience
Eddie Munson x Reader
Summary: Eddie doesnât think heâs cut out for dating. Self-resigned to a life of one and done hookups, youâre determined to make him see that he has the capacity to be a worthy companion⌠for when the right girl comes around. Fake Dating AU, classic corny fic for a fav corny troupe, Stranger Things canon divergent ofc, 18+ smut (see warnings below), big dick energy but also slightly emotionally unavailable!Eddie, yada yada yada, you know the drill.Â
Content warnings: AFAB reader with she/her pronouns, use of y/n, alcohol, smoking the devilâs lettuce, mention of panty stealing, food consumption, semi-public sex, fingering, PIV, Dom-ish!Eddie, oral (m and f receiving), pierced dick Eddie because I said so!, unprotected PIV sex, hair pulling, mild angst but nothing too angsty just like one heated conversation and Eddie feeling a little worthless but happy ending I promise
Word Count: 20k ahhhhhh!!!
A/N: Thanks to all those who comment and reblog! Your feedback and engagement makes my heart soar and keeps me motivated to write this filth! Sorry for the gargantuan length, in very-me fashion I always ending up writing one behemoth fic every so often rather than just separating it out into chapters. Also, realizing after the fact that I use the brand name âGoodwillâ a lot in this fic, which maybe not everyone might know is a thrift store, not sure if thatâs just an American thing or not but figured it was worth noting.Â
âI guess Iâm just not boyfriend material, ya know?â Eddie shrugs.
âDonât say that, Eds,â your eyebrows pinched together, âdifferent qualities are important to different people. Not everyone is looking to date a Steve, or a Brian, or a whoever. Iâm sure someone is out there looking for an Eddie.â
âItâs not that,â he shot a look towards Steve, who, despite your analogy, was unfortunately everyoneâs type and the textbook definition of boyfriend material.
âI just donât think Iâd be very good at gooey romance stuff, or even like, passable boyfriend behavior. I mean, look at me, I hardly take care of myself, Iâm loud, I have no money, Iâm basically every dadâs worst nightmare, do I need to keep going?â
âThe nightmare thing can actually be a bonus,â Steve chimes in, âthe whole bad boy persona can be a huge draw for most girls.â
âSure Steve,â Eddieâs voice grows exasperated, âIâm the mysterious bad boy until they realize Iâm a huge loser who runs not one but two dungeons and dragons groups. Real fuckinâ attractive Iâm sure that is.â
âShows youâre committed to somethingâŚâ you trail off when his eyes tell you to stop coming up with a positive spin for every excuse he gives.Â
This whole discussion had started because of something that happened at the bar last night. A small group of you decided to meet up for drinks, your usual group of pals. It was a Thursday, so the bar wasnât too busy. Your friends all squished into a booth in the corner, chatting and catching up over a plate of shared nachos, when Robin started making frantic gesture at you and Steve.
âPlease just say what youâre trying to say instead of this elaborate charade,â Steve makes a few mocking hand signals back at her.
âOkay, one at a time, and keep it subtle,â her voice lowered to a whisper, for some reason, âover at the bar, some girl is totally flirting with Eddie.â
You and Steve both turn around. âI said not at the same time!â She whisper yells.Â
There was, in fact, a pretty girl with shiny hair and glossy lips doing a half fake laugh and pressing her manicured hand to Eddieâs bicep. You whip back around to find Robin with her mouth hanging open in a âcan you believe this is happeningâ way.Â
âGood for him,â Steve swivels back around too, âSheâs pretty hot.â
You return to your nachos, pretending there wasnât a ping of jealousy in you. Eddie was your friend, that had been made abundantly clear.
When Robin introduced you to all her friends from high school, you had easily gotten along with all of them. You especially got along with Eddie. He was funny, authentic, abrasive at times, but a truly good person at his core, creative, protective, you could go on.
After getting to know him a bit, and developing a budding crush, you had made a few passes at him. Nothing too forward, just small compliments here and there, open ended offers to hang out that never lead anywhere.
Itâs not like he flat out rejected you, but any feelers you were putting out to see if there was potential there were met with him looking past your flirtatious intent and just being his goofy, friendly self. He treated you exactly the same way he treated everyone else, which was awesome, except for when it wasnât.Â
âOh no,â Robinâs gaze was not subtly fixed on the unfolding scene at the bar, you and Steve watched her face drastically shift from confused, to a cringe, to an eye roll.
Still half whispering, as if Eddie could even hear your corner of the bar, âHeâs totally blowing it. DONâT both turn around at the same time again.âÂ
âOkay, so,â she starts before either of you can even confirm that you want to know, âshe was totally laying it on thick, like you could see it from all the way back here. And he must have said something off putting, cuz all of a sudden she like went cold on him and pranced away. Shhhhh, okay okay, heâs coming back.â
She was acting as if she wasnât the only one gossiping. You and Steve were innocent bystanders in all this.Â
âWHAT was that?â She immediately blurts out when Eddie returns to his seat, fresh drink in hand.Â
You and Steve share a side glance to sigh at Robinâs inability to be subtle, god bless her. Eddie shifts around awkwardly and lets out a forced dry laugh, taking a long sip from his drink before facing the wrath of a curious Robin.Â
âOh, that,â he gestures to the bar as if she could be asking about anything else, âsome girl. Not sure.â
âNot sure? Eddie she was FLIRTING with you,â Robin all but yelled, causing Steve to scan the bar to see if the girl in question had landed somewhere within earshot.Â
âI know that,â he hisses, âShe just⌠wasnât my typeâŚâ
âOkay sure, hot girl in a tube top and no bra isnât your type, riiiiight,â Steve rolls his eyes.
âItâs just,â Eddie was so over this inquisition, âshe asked if I wanted to get coffee.â
You, Steve, and Robin all give him a blank stare, trying to decipher what he could possibly have against getting coffee with a hot girl.Â
âThatâs like,â he gets defensive, detecting the wall of confusion facing him, âsomething people do on a date. Coffee is serious, and Iâm not a very serious guy.â
âWhat do you mean âcoffee is serious,â coffee is like, as casual as you can possibly be?â Steveâs tone now emulated Robinâs from earlier, half whispering, half yelling, all scolding towards his friend.Â
âThatâs just not really my speed. Coffee dates and flowers and hand holding and all that,â he was avoiding eye contact with all three of you, âYeah, she was hot, sure, and maybe if she had been like âhey lets go fool around in the bathroomâ then I wouldnât be here having this lame ass conversation with you three. But I donât do coffee dates, so Iâm not gonna waste her time and pretend like Iâm that sort of guy when Iâm just not.âÂ
âWell good on you for not leading her on, cuz Iâm sure you could have agreed to the coffee date and still gotten lucky in the bathroom,â Steve mumbles, and you smack the back of his head lightly to scold him.Â
âSo you only date girls whoâll fuck you in a bar bathroom the first time you meet?â You redirect your now equally scolding energy to Eddie.
âNo!â He runs his hands through his hair, âI donât date. Anyone, really. At all. Ever.â
âOh,â you think for a minute, realizing in your few years of friendship you never had seen him with anyone, or heard him mention a romantic interest of any sort.Â
Leading you to your present conversation, you and Steve continuing to question Eddie on his decision to reject the hot tube-top girl at the bar and why he felt like coffee was such a scary commitment.Â
âYou guys know me,â he continued to defend his stance, âIf I took that girl out for coffee she probably would have picked some fancy hoity toity place and I wouldnât know what anything on the menu meant, Iâd probably spill something or like, get crumbs everywhere, and the bill would be way more than two coffees should be. It would have been a waste of both our time.â
He was staunchly refusing eye contact with the two of you, knowing heâd be met with something along the lines of pity.Â
âFine, weâll drop the subject,â you shoot a look to Steve, âbut I just need to make sure you understand that not every girl likes expensive coffee, or flowers and handholding, or whatever your expectation of girls and dating is. Thereâs plenty of girls who have similar interests to you, who feel the same way about PDA and mushy romance stuff that you do. You do know that, right?â
âOf course I do, y/n,â you could practically feel his eyes rolling at you, âbut girls like that sure as fuck arenât here in Nowhere, Indiana. Even if she was, Iâm sure Iâd still find a way to fuck it up given that Iâve had exactly zero serious girlfriends and the closest thing to a date Iâve ever been on is when you me and Steve pooled our ski ball tickets to win that ugly stuffed turtle.â
The memory of what you had all agreed to be the worldâs ugliest stuffed animal caused all of you to crack a smile. Steve had silently agreed to change the subject, not wanting to dig Eddie any deeper into his pit of self despair.Â
Steveâs mouth was half open, about to suggest that the three of you have a smoke and watch one of the rental movies he brought over, the words just about to escape him when you harshly cut off any chance at ending the pity-party.
âDate me!â You exclaim, without much thought. The shocked look from both boys caused you to rapidly back pedal , âYou can date me, as practice!â You said it as if it was the simplest concept in the world.Â
When met with gaping mouths and confused stares you continue on, âYou and I can be fake boyfriend-girlfriend for like, a month, and Iâll tell you everything you do wrong, and like generic doâs and donâtâs, so that way the next time some hot girl hits on you, you can be all like âCoffee isnât really my thing pretty lady, but Iâd be down to get drinks sometimeâ,â you did a silly impression of Eddieâs voice, and then switched to a high pitched one to impersonate what you assumed the girl at the bar sounded like, âand then sheâd be all like, âOh yeah that sounds greaaaaat, getting coffee is just like, a generic catch-all thing that most people say when they want to get to know someone better, but you can buy me a drinkâ and then the two of you will ride off into the sunset and itâll be great.â
Still no reply.
âIt wonât be all romantic and gooey, I promise I wonât make you do anything you donât want to. Itâd be a way for you to get some honest feedback and catch up with the stuff most people have to learn the hard way.âÂ
âI suppose you are the most brutally honest person I know,â Eddie doesnât sound convinced.Â
Steve just looked between the two of you with eyebrows raised, not knowing if giving his opinion on the matter would be appreciated or not. âI guess I wouldâve appreciated someone telling me that most girls donât want to be asked out with a pickup line from a John Hughes movie, would have saved me a few dozen rejections.â
âIâm pretty sure Robin did tell you thatâŚâ
âI donât know y/n,â Eddie scratches his head.Â
âItâll be easy. Ask me out.â
âHuh?â
âAsk me out, for practice, ask me out on a date like Iâm a pretty girl you met at some metal show or a DnD convention or something like that,â you stand in front of him with your hands out as if to prompt him to say something.Â
âWill you go out with me?â He sounds more like heâs asking himself if he even wants to be asking the question.
âNo.â
âWhat the hell!â He throws his hands up.
âI said no because that wasnât a very good effort. Go out where? To do what? Youâre asking me, a pretend stranger, out on a date Eddie, not if I want to go have a smoke with you.â
âUghhhh,â he spun around and tried to get some sympathy for Steve, who unfortunately was on your side with this one.Â
âA compliment or two doesnât hurt as well,â Steve added, deepening Eddieâs groan.Â
âHey pretty stranger lady,â his voice was laced with sarcasm, but at least it wasnât disdain, âyou seem reallyâŚâ he hesitated to find his words, âcool? Would you like to come see my band play this weekend at The Hideout? We-â
âNo,â you cut him off.
âWHA-â
âEddie, you canât ask a girl to watch Corroded Coffin play for your first date with her, thatâs like date four or five material, no girl wants to go sit by herself at a bar to watch some guy she just met play an hour of heavy metal. She would have to know you a little bit more for that to feel organic. Pick something more generic, like coffee.â
âI think you seem cool, would you like to get coffee with me?â it all came out as one monotone mumble from him.Â
âSure,â you wait for him to lift his head up to make eye contact with you, âBut coffee isnât really my thing, maybe we can go out for drinks?â
âOh fuck off,â he flopped back onto the couch next to Steve.Â
âSee, now we have our first fake date, and then you can ask me to be your fake girlfriend, and then youâll be so comfortable with emotional vulnerability that you can find a real girlfriend to take on real dates.â
âYeah, I suppose it could be beneficial,â Eddie was slowly coming around to the idea. He knew that he was oddly charismatic at times, but he was just always too self conscious to follow through with the whole romance thing.
This maybe wasnât a bad idea, because he knew you werenât the kind of person who would make fun of his hobbies, or put him down if he slipped up, the sorts of things he was always afraid of girls doing. Sure, heâll agree to the girlfriend experience.Â
After a night of movies and pizza with Steve fake-third-wheeling, you made sure Eddie knew that the fake-date was actually happening, that the two of you would go out for drinks this weekend as your first official practice date.Â
After giving it a bit of thought, you realized that you and Eddie had never hung out alone. In your feeble attempts at flirting with him all those months ago you had invited him to have movie nights or grab a bite to eat, but he always showed up with Steve and or Robin in tow.
As the night of the fake-date rolled around, youâd be embarrassed to admit it to him, or Steve, who didnât care to hide how skeptical he was about this whole idea, that you went through your normal pre-date routine. You took some extra time on your hair and makeup, exfoliated in the shower, chose an outfit you felt confident in, added a few spritz of perfume for good measure too.Â
Eddie rolled up in his van, only a few minutes late, but a few minutes was very impressive compared to his typical chronic tardiness. The two of you agreed to just grab some food and drinks at your usual spot, considering you and Steve openly agreed that it would be a good first date spot in theory.Â
âHey,â he reaches across the center console to pop the door open for you, âyou look nice.â
It took you a second to register as you settled into the passenger seat, and then whip around with your arm outstretched to give him a high five. He scrunches his face at you.
âHigh five me Eddie, that was really good! I know you usually open the door for me anyways, but the compliment right away, A+,â you flop your hand down to gently slap his, still gripping the steering wheel.Â
âDonât patronize me, y/n,â deep down he knew you werenât trying to talk down to him, and deep down he hadnât even given complimenting you a second thought, he really did think you looked great in your date get-up.Â
On the ride over to the bar, the two of you discuss some logistics. Considering all of this is just practice dating, you donât expect Eddie to pay for you, but you explain that in theory if he had been the one to ask you out then he should be the one to pay for the first date.Â
âTo me itâs less of a gender thing and more of a who asked out who thing, but I know some people would abide to the stereotypical âthe man always paysâ standard, which is why youâd just have to be honest on date like two or three about what you enjoy doing and what sorts of things are in your budget. You can still have fun and be thoughtful without spending a lot of money.â
He asked a few questions, like if he should have gotten you flowers for a first date, or what he should do if someone asks to go to a fancy restaurant that he surely couldnât afford. You tried your best to give solid advice, but always reminded him that every person is different and every relationship is different, so all he can do is be honest.Â
You take up a spot at the bar and both order for yourselves, splitting some fries and slipping into some easy conversation.Â
âAm I supposed to, like, beat someone up if a guy tries hitting on you in front of me or something like that?â you nearly choke on your drink at his question.Â
âEddie, no,â you answer, also questioning, âwhy the hell would you ask me that?â
âI donât know,â he shrugged, âMy buddy Jeff was with his girlfriend at this punk show before they were even together, and some guy made a creepy comment to Amanda and Jeff just decked the guy in the face. He sayâs thatâs what made her want to date him, cuz he defended her honor or whatever.â
âI guess thatâs sort of circumstantial, but I prefer my dates to not engage in any sort of violence,â you sip your drink, âeven if itâs for my honor. Iâd like your face a lot less if you were all bruised up.â
âWell I never said I would get hit,â the two of you were laughing a bit now.
Over a few cocktails you went over some first date etiquette with him. PDA and being touchy, how to follow her lead and gauge if sheâs the type who wants everyone at the bar to know youâre together, or keep it strictly platonic to start. How far of a grip on the leg is too far up, that sort of thing. Â
âSo if she does something like this,â you fake laugh a bit too loud and, lean into his personal space, and then run your hand from his slender down his arm, âthat doesnât necessarily mean she wants to fuck you, but itâs pretty close. Youâve at least got a green flag to get a little closer to her, tell her she looks nice, maybe offer to buy her a drink.â
âI know how to tell if someone finds me attractive, y/n, Iâm not stupid,â he said casually, âobviously that girl the other night was hitting on me, Iâm not blind. I wasnât going to ask to buy her a drink or try and get lucky in the bathroom because I was out with my friends. I can find a quick fuck in a bar on my own time. I was having fun with you guys, I wasnât going to abandon all of you to talk to some stranger, even if she was hot.â Â
âOh,â you processed his comment, âSteve would be happy to know he ranks above tube-top girl.â
âSteve would be happy to be above tube-top girl in any context,â he jokes.Â
âYou really just find random girls in bars to fuck?â You question, not in any sort of judgmental way, just curious.Â
âNot specifically, I guess I did make myself sound like some serial bar-bathroom type of guy. I never really had girls interested in me when I was in high school, at least the first four years of it. Then when we started playing regular gigs at The Hideout it was a little easier to find girls who were interested, but it was always that they were more into fucking some guy who could play guitar and was in a band, so it usually just always happened on-site, probably cuz they had an actual boyfriend or husband to go home to. Girls think Iâm fun. Which isnât untrue, I do enjoy a romp in the Hideout bathroom, or the back of my van, or wherever we end up.â
âSo thatâs what all those blankets are back there for,â you say with a fake scowl, referring to his van set-up.Â
âNot exclusively! They make a cozy nest for smoking blunts and listening to tapes too!âÂ
You return to your drink, trying not to think too hard about the girls that Eddie brings to bar bathrooms or his van or wherever.Â
âI just find the energy of those situations very different from like, talking and getting to know someone. Fucking is easy. Iâm not interested in ruining that by adding emotions and the looming feeling like sex is contingent on me acting a certain way or checking a certain number of boxes for someone.âÂ
He shrugged, and you could understand where he was coming from, sometimes a quick fuck or hookup could be cathartic and easy. But it also saddened you to think that Eddie believed he had to get in and out before the person on the other end got the chance to know him.Â
Moving away from the subject of his inability to be emotionally vulnerable, the two of you practice some cheesy âfirst dateâ questions as you had called them. As your drinks started to settle into your system you were having more fun being silly with him, pretending to be a stranger on a first date.Â
âWhenâs your birthday?â You ask, twirling your drink straw with your finger and making some fake flirty eyes at him to accentuate the facade of asking him a bunch of questions you mostly knew the answers to.Â
âAugust 9th,â he flips his hair over his shoulder, joining in on your fake ostentatious flirting.Â
âOh my gosh, a Leo! This will never work out, cuz Iâm an asparagusâŚâ
The two of you nearly fall out of your bar stools laughing, realizing you meant to say Sagittarius.Â
âOkay, letâs get you home Asparagus,â he helped you up, having kept his drinking to a minimum so he could drive you home.Â
âWait, wait,â you grabbed his arm as the two of you exited the bar, âcan we go back to your trailer?â
He raised an eyebrow at you, âthatâs a little presumptuous for a first date missy.â
âNo, no, this isnât girlfriend y/n asking, just regular friend y/n, who thinks it would be a lot of fun to smoke and watch a movie without Steve there spewing all his annoying fun facts, like, we get it, you read the little insert inside the tape while you were bored at work!â
Eddie did agree that the idea of packing a bowl and watching a few movies with you didnât sound too different from what his plans would have been otherwise, so he agreed, as long as you promised not to give him any dating advice while hanging out as friend y/n and not girlfriend y/n.Â
Although you promised to try your best, you immediately started lecturing him on t-shirt borrowing and the potential weight that could hold in a relationship when he offered to give you some more comfy clothes to change into.Â
âItâs important to know!â You emerged from the bathroom in one of his oversized shirts and a pair of boxers, âSome girls are very touchy about it. Any shirt you lend her to sleep in, you have to be willing to sacrifice for life.â
âFor life?!â Eddie finishes making a bowl of popcorn for the two of you, swallowing his words when he sees you in his clothes, an unidentifiable emotion rising in him at the sight of you so cozy and integrated into his space.Â
âWell maybe not life,â you plop down onto the couch, âbut do NOT ask for it back. Most girls will give it back once it stops smelling like you.â
âIf she gets my shirt, can I have her underwear?â He asked without thinking, the weed he had just smoked with you hitting him a bit too hard in that moment.Â
âOh my god,â you squeal and bury your face into a pillow, âla la la la, pretending like I didnât hear that!â
âIâm just saying!â He laughs at you, now curled up into a ball, âfair is fair, right?â
âI guess it depends on the girl,â you mumble.Â
âSo Iâm guessing not you, by your reaction.â
âEddie!â You smack him with a pillow, âI donât know, no oneâs ever asked!â
âIf my girlfriend isnât going to ask before stealing my shirt for an indefinite amount of time, I think that gives me panty privilege.â
âWow Eddie, if I had known you were such a perv I wouldâve reconsidered being your fake girlfriend,â you say sarcastically, with no real judgement behind it. The idea of him wanting to steal your underwear dampens them ever so slightly.Â
âDonât worry babe, I wonât do anything pervy to you unless you ask nicely,â he shoots a wink at you, which you meet with an eye roll and a turn away to hopefully hide the heat rising in your cheeks.Â
The two of you carry out your platonic movie night as planned. You suppressed any urge to note on his actions from a romantic lens, and he ignored the itching desire to sling his arm around your shoulder or pull your legs into his lap to get more comfy on the couch.Â
âCan I sleep here Eddie,â you ask after movie two, âtoo sleepy to move.â
âSure, I can take the couch and you can have my bed. Itâs been a minute since I washed the sheets but it shouldnât be too badâŚâ
âNonono,â you mumble, âYour legs will totally hang right off the end of this thing. Iâm conked out anyways, I can crash right here I promise.â
âIgnoring that youâre my fake girlfriend, Iâm not letting you sleep out here on this lumpy thing. Youâre taking the bed, no arguments.â
He helps you up from the couch, letting you keep the blanket thatâs wrapped around you, snaking his arm underneath it and pulling you from the couch by your lower back. You were slightly taken aback by his assistance, body still limp from your relaxed state, your torso easily arching into his. Your arms fly up to grab his shoulders, steadying yourself with an awkward giggle.Â
âIn the real world, a time like this would be good for a first kiss,â you make note of your closeness, the way he swept you up off the couch and held you steadily as you made your way to your feet.Â
âI know that, y/n,â his face was closer to yours than it had ever been, making your words hitch in your throat.Â
âWell, Iâm just saying,â you turn your head to avoid the tension, âIâm sure the way you kiss your bar-hookups isnât the way most girls whoâre looking to date you long term want to be kissed for the first time.â
âOh yeah? And how do you presume that goes?â He kept his hand planted on your lower back.
You pretend to act wildly drunk, throwing yourself at him and letting your limbs go a bit heavier than they already were. âOhmygod guitar man, Iâve had like, six dirty Shirleys, please finger bang me in the bathroom,â you slur your words and let your tongue loll out the side of your mouth as if to lean in for the worldâs sloppiest and most uncoordinated kiss.
âFirst of all,â his voice was very serious, âI donât hook up with girls who are too inebriated to stand, letâs get that straight. As a matter of fact, I wouldnât even have our first fake kiss like this on account of the drinking and smoking, gotta make sure youâre in the right headspace. Secondly,âÂ
He spins you around and quickly backs you up against the wall that stood a few feet behind the couch. His hand sliding up in between your shoulder blades, blanket now slumped around your waist, his other hand suavely cupping the side of your cheek, His hips angled into yours, pinning you back against the vinyl, almost collapsing back into it.Â
He pressed against you, not aggressively, but enough to let you know that if you were to try and squirm away he had the capacity to keep you right where he wanted you. He accomplished this all in one elegant motion, leaving you a bit dazed.
As you started to snap into reality, he moves his hand from your cheek down to grab your chin in between his thumb and the knuckle of his pointer, angling your face directly up at him.Â
âIf you were some girl in a bar, it would be like this.â
The moment before your brain turned to absolute mush, you silently cringed at the thought of what you must look like, mouth hanging open, eyes glassed over, body instinctively sinking into his touch. Pathetic, you were sure of it.Â
Sure, Eddie did think you looked a little helpless, but he also thought you looked perfect. Exactly as he had imagined you to in this situation. Of course he had thought about you before, like that.
Of course he had felt an immediate spark with you when you had first met. But he never flirted back, or lead you on, because as much as he was attracted to you and enjoyed your company, he knew that it wouldnât work out. He wasnât relationship material, and you were the picture perfect girlfriend that he didnât deserve.Â
He spoke directly into your parted lips, mouth hovering just far enough away to toe the line of âholy shit, is he going to?â But no, as he made very clear, he wouldnât kiss you under these conditions. He had made his point, and slowly backed off and let you find your footing.Â
As soon as he was sure that you were steady, he backed away and started down the hallway.Â
âI might have an extra toothbrush stashed away somewhere, let me lookâŚâ he ducked into the bathroom, leaving you stunned in the kitchen, head swimming and your stomach traveled up into your throat.Â
He was teasing you, he must be. That was his little way of getting back at you for thinking you could give him dating advice. If he was unsure about his capacity for romance, he was going to make sure you knew he was more than capable in other ways. Understood.Â
You shook your head, weeding through your inner monologue of how he could possibly look at you like that and then just walk away. Your shock gave him just long enough for you to to not notice him splashing cold water on his face in the bathroom while he âlooked for a toothbrush.âÂ
The two of you decided to ignore the lingering tension from the events in the kitchen, not a peep of fake-girlfriend talk from you for the rest of the night. He did find you that toothbrush, and the two of you moved through a too-easy domestic routine of getting ready for bed.Â
You told him that you wouldnât be able to sleep if you knew he was cramped on that couch, and that you were fine with sharing a bed. You mumbled something about getting around to bed sharing etiquette at some point anyways, and sleepily pulled him into being your little spoon.Â
Eddie lay there, trying not to twitch or fidget, relaxed as best he could into your cuddled form thinking about how horrible of an idea all of this was. He was convinced all it would take is roughly ten more minutes of you burying your face into his hair and making cute little sleepy noises for him to fall irreversibly in love with you.Â
But what was he supposed to do? Move and wake you up? Never.Â
You rolled around enough in the night to wake up in a less intimate position than when you had fallen asleep. You knew Eddie was a deep sleeper, and took it upon yourself to creep out of bed and back into your day clothes, make a pot of coffee, and watc a bit of TV before he roused and joined you in the living room.Â
âWhy didnât you wake me?â He rubbed the crust from his eyes and was pleasantly surprised to see you had brewed a whole pot of coffee to share.Â
âYou looked so peaceful and cozy,â he shook his head at you, as if that was no excuse for letting him sleep an extra forty minutes. Â
After a slow morning, he agrees to drive you home.Â
âSo this is the part where I say âEddie, I had such a wonderful time on our date. Iâd love to do it again sometime.â And then you agree and tell me when youâre free. Itâs best to be super direct and make plans to get together again soon, cuz then itâs not an awkward whoâs-gonna-call-who-first sort of thing.â
âUh-huhâŚâ he stares at you blankly.Â
âBut for our sake, letâs just agree that Iâm in charge of planning our next date. Okay? Iâll do it from the perspective of what I think most girls would enjoy, so you can steal it for the future. Iâll call you later.âÂ
You hop out of his van before he can agree, and leave him with a âThanks for letting me stay over!â As you bound away from his view.Â
He squeezed his eyes shut the moment he caught himself checking your ass out as you walked away, and let his head rest down on the steering wheel. He was fucked. How the hell was he supposed to tell you that you needed to stop being his fake girlfriend without disrupting the homeostasis of your friendship?
On one hand he could lie and say he doesnât want your advice, making you think he didnât enjoy your company, which was entirely untrue. On the other hand he could tell you the truth, and you would never be friends the same way again.Â
He drove home with the music too loud, and patiently awaited your call later that evening to iron out the details of your second fake-date.Â
Per your instructions, he let you pick him up this time with the argument that you were the one taking him out this time. He didnât know what you had planned, but let himself fall to the mercy of whatever you had decided was an exemplary date fore him to âsteal in the futureâ.Â
You picked up two coffees and rolled up to the trailer park, popping a mix-tape he had made you ages ago.Â
âHey, I thought we said no paying for each other with fake-dating,â he objects to the coffee sat in the passenger cupholder, some abomination of mostly cream and sugar, the way you know he likes it.Â
âYes, thatâs true, but you smoked me up the other night, and this coffee was like a dollar fifty, so donât worry about it,â you give him a look that tells him to drink the damn coffee and not sass back, to which he complies, even though he smokes you up expecting nothing in return about every other weekend.Â
The two of you sip away and listen to Eddies âmust-know-to-be-my-friendâ mixtape and arrive shortly at the strip mall across town. This was a regular weekly stop for both of you, the strip of connected stores containing the Goodwill, a pet store, the pharmacy, and grocery. A pretty mundane collection.Â
âOkay, what are we doing at Gregâs?â Eddie gestures to the grocery store, the back of his mind running through the grocery list heâs been making for this week anyways.
âWhatâs the perfect date?â You ask, and answer for him, âa romantic picnic. But gathering supplies is half the fun. Picnic food supplies at Gregâs, some pills to get fucked up at the pharm, some turtles or something to let loose into the wild from the pet store, and then hats, cups, blanket, etcetera from the Goodwill.â
He turns to you with the most bewildered stare, which sends you into a fit of giggles.
âOkay, Iâm joking about the pills and the turtles,â you nudge his arm, âbut wonât it be sweet to get together some picnic supplies and then drive out to lookout point? We can still swing by the pet store to check out the ferrets though.â
To Eddie, the idea of a date involved him doing something he didnât want to do, some awkward small talk, and spending money on shit he truly thought was useless. This didnât sound half bad. You would âwork backwards so the food purchases come lastâ according to your reasoning, and he followed you in tow without any arguments into the Goodwill.
âSo Iâm thinkingâŚâ you start to wander into the aisles of used clothes and knick knacks, âmaybe a blanket? A basket would be sort of corny, but if we find one for cheap I donât see why not. Surely two glasses for drinking, and maybe some sun hats?â
Swiveling back around to see a half stunned Eddie, who was still processing how in the hell this was your idea of a romantic date, you grab his hand and pull him to the bric-a-brac section.Â
After it got through his thick skull that the same place he had uncomfortably tried on new pants throughout his growth spurt, and picked up his daily-worn leather jacket, had the same potential to provide some silly, cheap, used items to add some flair to this picnic.Â
Silly and cheap was right up Eddieâs alley. The two of you picked out mismatched champagne glasses, one with the engraved name of a couple who got married in 1943 and the other a flashy rose color with baby angel carvings dancing around the sides.Â
You luckily find an on sale beach blanket, and the two of you pick out some very goofy sun hats. A floppy farmers hat for you, and a bedazzled trucker hat spelling âhot mamaâ for Eddie.
Through the midst of your giggles and debate on whether you should buy a wooden bench to bring out to your picnic destination, Eddie found himself having a really good time with you.Â
As promised, you visited the pet store and checked out the ferrets and fish and geckos.Â
âIf you could have any pet, what would you want?â You asked him, noses pressed against the chinchilla enclosure.Â
âJaguar,â he said, a little too quickly.
âFor real, dummy,â you knock your hip into his.
âI donât know, we never had enough space or extra money for pets growing up, so maybe someday if I had enough room for it to run around Iâd like a dog or something,â he tells. Eyes still transfixed on the chinchilla behind the glass.Â
âI can see that,â you imagine Eddie with some mutt from the shelter, wrestling around and giving it lots of scratches behind the ears.Â
Skipping the pharmacy, you pop into the grocery store and assemble what may be the worldâs most eclectic picnic.Â
âThatâs the definition of a picnic, Iâm pretty sure,â you explain after Eddie insinuated that the gingersnap cookies you grabbed, along with grapes and a block of cheese, wasnât exactly a meal, âyou know, just a smorgasbord of whatever we want!â
Admittedly, Eddie had considered a handful of pretzels and a beer to be dinner on more than one occasion, so he couldnât argue with you. Quickly catching your drift, the two of you picked out an assortment of snacks and some ingredients for pb&j sandwiches.Â
âI thought picnics were supposed to be classy?â Eddie holds up the Wonder bread and bag of potato chips with a look that suggested his question was rhetorical.
Your response was simply to raise the, admittedly cheap, bottle of champagne you grabbed to accompany with your meal, more for the irony of drinking the bubbly liquid out of your new used glasses with your sticky sandwiches than anything else.Â
You pack your supplies into a tote bag, not having found a suitable basket at the thrift store, and drive across town to a dirt paved road that leads to a nice lookout point with a view of the lake.Â
âLetâs walk down the path a little bit, but not too far,â you grab the blanket and tote bag from your trunk, motioning for Eddie to put on his âhot mamaâ hat and carry your other auxiliary supplies, âI do not fuck with bugs.â
âIâll protect you,â Eddie puffs out his chest, making you both giggle.
âFrom bugs?â
âYeah, Iâll punch a mosquito right in the face, to defend your honor and all that.â
âI know I told you not to do that, but a mosquito might be the exception to the rule.â
You found a nice little clearing not far from the car, a spot that still had a nice view but was a bit more secluded. Eddie sat pressed right up next to you, making your sandwich âto be a proper gentlemanâ but simultaneously spilling a glob of jelly onto your leg.
âShit,â he doesnât think twice before leaning down and slurping the grape flavored blob off of your bare knee, tongue poking out and licking the spilt jelly from your skin.
âEddie!â You squirm away, barking out a surprised laugh.Â
âWhat! Your knee is clean, wouldnât want to waste perfectly good preserves, or a napkin.â
You feel your skin tingle where his lips had touched you, for only a moment, but you still felt it. He was so confident and casual in his movements, not having any hesitation to grab your hand or brush your hair out of your face. It wasnât under the guise of fake romance, he had always been like that. Not touchy, per se, just sure of himself. Youâd never seen Eddie do anything half assed, thatâs for certain.
After the conversation you shared the other night, you were unable to stop your mind from wandering to thoughts of what Eddie does with those girls in bars, if he touched him with the same confidence and sureness he put into everything else he did.Â
It was wrong to let your mind go to such dirty places about someone you considered a friend, but you couldnât manage to feel any guilt. He had offered that information freely, so who were you to punish yourself for staring a little longer at his fingers, conjuring up the context in which heâd bury them inside you against some grimy bar bathroom.Â
The date was all peanut butter smiles and bubbly laughter that floated up into the trees. Silly, yes, but neither of you could deny there was something sweet, maybe even romantic about it. A cheap meal in the woods shared between two friends in ill-fitting fifty cent hats, but an undeniable touch of romance lingered nonetheless.Â
Eddie started to realize that maybe the whole dating thing wasnât as uptight and scary as he had initially thought. It could be easy and fun, with the right person. And fuck, if he could even imagine doing this with anyone but you.Â
Like most things Eddie did, he did not consider any potential consequences before acting. You looked so pretty sitting there in the sunshine, sipping from your cheap âMartha & Dave â43â glass, a few sandwich crumbs dotting the corner of your mouth.
What else was he supposed to do other than lean over and wipe them away with his thumb, stroking your soft cheek and feel the warmth of your skin beneath his palm.Â
âYou had some,â he uses his other hand to motion at his own mouth, âand I suppose this is the sort of moment where Iâd ask if I can kiss you.âÂ
You find yourself a bit dumbfounded, his big stupid hand on your cheek and those big stupid puppy dog eyes unrelenting in making everything he says seem so genuine.
âAre you?â You find your voice, only half embarrassed at how shy it comes out.
âAm I what?â
âAre you asking me?â
âYeah,â his answer comes out in a way that insinuates that he never meant anything other than that, that he was always asking to kiss you, he wasnât asking in theory, in another universe, in the context of advice.Â
âOkay,â you found yourself behaving like Eddie, not really thinking of consequences before your words and actions spoke on behalf of your instincts.
Everything so far had been so easy. Your fake first date at the bar, curling up next to him in a haze, making up stories about what sort of people donated the fake palm tree or the Garfield mug at the Goodwill, imagining Eddie running around a yard with a puppy, lounging in the grass and eating your assorted picnic snacks. It was all effortless.
Suddenly, being kissed by Eddie sucked the ease from your lungs and sent your mind spiraling into a cacophony of bells and whistles and giant swirling red flags. If this is how he kissed you, casually across some half eaten peanut butter sandwiches, youâd spend the rest of your days yearning to know how he kissed someone with true intention.Â
Of course, his intentions were all there, but the lingering knowledge that all of this was happening under the umbrella of âyou giving him adviceâ or âhelping practice for the next girlâ poisoned any true feeling he poured into it. He cupped your cheek, soft, let his lips press into yours delicately for a moment before he felt your breath hitch, opening his mouth just enough to deepen the kiss and capture your lower lip fully.Â
He was more careful, gentle, methodic with his movements and so receptive to every little signal your body gave him, it was unlike any first-kiss, heat-of-the-moment-kiss, in-the-throws-of-passion-kiss, any of it. Like hell youâd ever tell him that, inflate that big ego that fuels his snippy comebacks at you, but Jesus, was it remarkable.Â
While at war with yourself internally, your heart was on the precipice of exploding in your chest from the way he snaked his hand into your hair and pressed his forehead against yours to catch a breath. You suck in a sharp breath and feel that stupid cocky smirk creep up onto that pretty mouth of his.
ââS that sufficient for a first kiss?â
âFuck offfff,â you were still a little out of breath, smacking his chest and flopping back down onto the picnic blanket, throwing your arms up and rolling your eyes at him, âif youâre so damn confident, maybe we just should fake break up, cuz you donât seem like you need my advice.â
âNooooo,âhe slumps down next to you, burrowing his head under your arm so he can pop up right next to your face, âIâm learning a lot, I promise! This date was so fun, and cheap! I would have never thought any of this could be remotely romantic. Iâm hopeless, y/n, look at me.â
He wriggles around and gives you a big fake pout, âIf left to my own devices I would probably do something horribly embarrassing or off-putting, likeâŚâ he digs his head into the crook of your neck and blew a fat, wet raspberry right into your skin, making you yelp and squeal, but his position half on top of you pins you down.Â
âSee!â He pulls up for air, you were in a fit of screaming giggles, âIâd go right in for a kiss and just,â and he does it again, leaving you gasping for air, trying your best to tickle his ribs to get him off of you, but not minding the close contact by any means.Â
âNow Iâm not so sure,â he pulls back to give you a minute to catch your breath, âit seems like you enjoyed that, so maybe survey says I should pull that move on the ladies.â
Your airy laughter subsided, but he stays half pinning you down to the blanket and the lumpy grass underneath.
âI didnât mean to give you the impression that Iâm not grateful for your help,â he says earnestly, catching your gaze, âitâs just⌠this isnât what I need help with.â
As his statement is processing, you find his lips back on yours, his torso pressed flushed with yours and his wild mane of hair coming down to curtain around your head. He doesnât take it too far, but kisses you as earnestly as he had before, giving your lip a slight drag with his teeth and running his hand up from your hip up the side of your ribcage, leaving you arching slightly into him by pure instinct.
Before your head got too dizzy again, before you could really throw yourself into it and say fuck it and kiss him back the way you secretly wanted to, he pulled back.
âThat.â his voice was even, you hated how needy you felt and how even keeled he could be milliseconds after stealing the air from your lungs, âItâs the rest of it,â he threw his hands up and gestured to all the food and knock knacks around you, âitâs this stuff that you make seem so easy, so forgive me if I lay it on a little thick when we get to the parts Iâm actually good at.â
âJust,â you sat up a bit, grounding yourself and formulating a response despite your brain looping the past twenty seconds back infinitely, âdonât do that again.â
âOkay,â he sat back and popped a grape into his mouth, âsorry.â
âDonât apologize,â you knocked his knee with yours, struggling to articulate how you felt without showing too much of your hand, deciding to just be candid, âI just- I liked that a little too much if you know what I mean. And this is strictly business, or education, maybe?â
âYou liked it when I pinned you against the wall the other night,â he said matter of factly, âI think you liked that a little too much too, and you still took me on this fake educational business date.â
âYeah, well, you caught me,â you threw your hands up in defense.
âWhich one is it though?â He asks and you donât quite understand, âare you a sweet kiss on the picnic kind of girl, or an up against the wall kind of girl?â
âThatâs none of your business, as far as fake-dating is concerned,â you say a little too quickly, âand no you canât have my panties.â
You say it with a smirk, but he doesnât press any further. He turns and does that Eddie-thing heâs so good at, just changing the subject and shifting the vibe completely away from what might have been a stale moment or awkward pause. He starts asking if you like green or purple grapes better, going off about how he used to put them in the freezer as a kid.Â
The remainder of your date went without a hitch, of course. You picked away at your picnic until the sun started to set, and once the sky started turning purple you made your way back to the car. The drive home consisted only of easy conversation and no further mention of the kiss, well, kisses that had transpired. He hopped out of the passenger seat with a âthank youâ and a âsee ya later alligator.âÂ
A scalding hot shower, a restless night of sleep, and too many cups of herbal tea the next morning did nothing to quell the noise in your head that blasted those moments over and over. You couldnât stop picking apart whether he had thought about it for even a millisecond, and felt embarrassed that you could think of nothing else.Â
It was simply an amplified version of what your whole friendship had been up until this point. You silently admiring him and wishing he would look at you the way you looked at him, and settling for friendship over heartbreak.Â
Pushing it aside to the best of your ability allowed you to get through your week, but you had the lingering feeling that the next time you saw him would strike you with warm cheeks and a scrambled mental state.
Guilt had started to seep in at the corners of your mind, but you reminded yourself that you shouldnât punish yourself for having romantic or sexual thoughts about someone you simply found attractive and compelling, it was your actions that would determine the validity of your guilt.Â
âLong time no see, loser,â Robin hollered from the pool table across the bar, where she was likely kicking Steveâs ass.Â
âYeah, yeah, sorry,â you shrug off your coat and plop down at their regular booth, knowing her jabs were entirely empty. You notice Eddieâs leather jacket hung up by the wall, and scan the bar to find him ordering a drink.Â
There was a silent mutual understanding that youâd keep the fake dating thing to a bare minimum when out with your friends like this. Even though Steve was well aware, and therefore Robin was too, you figured tainting your social time with the performance of romance is the exact reason Eddie turned down the girl at the bar in the first place.Â
âFor the lady,â Eddie waltzes over and hands you a drink.
âOh, thanks,â you take it with a confused smile, âyou didnât have to do that.â
âYou bought me coffee last weekend,â he sat across the booth from you, âplus Iâm trying to get better at buying drinks for pretty girls, right?â
You remind him that he doesnât have to keep tabs on things like coffee, but you appreciate the gesture regardless. As per the past few times youâd been out with your friends, you expected him to put a pause on the flirting, but it seems to be bubbling over tonight. You werenât complaining, but admittedly the arm around your shoulder or the noticeable way he checked you out when you got up to refill your drink took you by slight surprise.Â
Sneaking in to claim the always occupied dart board for a challenge against Eddie while he uses the restroom, you keep your eyes on the corner of the bar to signal him over once he returns.
âYou need a partner?â A man suddenly appears behind you, a little closer than youâd like but the bar was crowded, so youâll let it slide.Â
âOh, I was just waiting for-â
âLet me fill in until your friend gets here, we can get you warmed up, yeah?â His tone wasnât too pushy, but you didnât love the look he gave you when making that comment.
Awkwardly staggering for a second, unsure weather to just agree or tell him to fuck off, âHe really should be just a minute-â
âOr maybe less,â Eddie comes up right behind you and pulls you possessively into his side.
Your head whips up to see him with a devilish smile, his hand on your waist and the fire behind his eyes telling his guy to get lost.
âOh, sorry man,â the guy starts backing away with an apologetic look.
âYeah, better luck next time, pal,â Eddie snakes around to take the guyâs spot in front of the dart board.
He had his darts in hand and took his stance to start the match, gesturing for you to do the same.Â
âWhat was that,â you ask with a slight joking tone, but seriously curious.
âWhat?â He doesnât make eye contact and instead throws the first dart, âIâm not allowed to get fake jealous?â
âYouâre allowed to feel any fake emotion you want, I guess,â your tone is somewhere in between a joke and a question.Â
âYouâd feel fake jealous if I was getting blown in the bathroom by some chick rather than playing darts with you, I bet.â
âOkay,â your tone shifts to defensive, âgetting blown is very different than some guy asking to play darts with me.â
âI didnât like the way he was looking at you,â Eddie turns to face you, having thrown all his darts, âfor real.â
A moment lapsed where you didnât register that your mouth was hanging open in disbelief, the look in your eyes Eddie immediately clocked as lust and bottled up to store away for a later time.Â
âI knew the scary dog thing would work,â his âi-told-you-soâ tone rubbed you the wrong way, but he wasnât wrong, âyou said girls werenât into that, but you totally looooove that I defended your honor.â
âDonât give yourself too much credit, I said girls wouldnât be into it if you punched him,â you rolled your eyes.
âI donât know, babe, I think you liked the whole âback off of my womanâ act.â
You mumble out a âwhateverâ and let him have this win, which he was clearly reveling in, trying to focus instead at beating him at darts.Â
âJust donât pull shit like that on a first date, acting too possessive off the bat is a huge red flag for a lot of women.â
âI thought we werenât doing dating advice tonight?â You donât even have to look at him to know heâs got that stupid sarcastic smile.
âYeah I thought so too,â you fail at your attempt to beat him in darts, as well as your attempt to not flirt back with him.Â
He insists on collecting all the darts, picking up the ones haphazardly strews across the floor from failed attempts to hit the board.Â
âIâm no pro or anything, but I think youâd hit the board a lot more if you fixed your stance.â
âYeah, yeah, whatever,â you flip him the bird and take back your red tipped darts.Â
As you steady your arm to aim your first shot he comes up behind you and grabs your hips, causing you to let out an unexpected squeak. He adjusts your stance, not aggressively, but with some force, twisting your hips and using his big combat boot to sweep your foot around so you stood more sideways.Â
âYouâre standing straight on,â he backs up, allowing you to secretly catch your breath, âand all your shots are veering to the right. If you plant your feet more angled youâll hit the board.â
You wanted to roll your eyes at him, miss on purpose to show him heâs full of shit. You flippantly toss the dart, not trying particularly hard, and it hits. Not a bulls-eye or anything like that, but a lot closer than your previous attempts had been.Â
âGood girl,â he comments, leaning in to breech your personal space just enough to make your blood boil.
You drop the remainder of the darts in your opposite hand onto the floor and whip around to face him, half jokingly smacking him on the shoulder.Â
âOh my god, fuck off!â
Youâre met with his trademark shit-eating grin.
Truthfully, Eddie hadnât been able to keep his eyes off you all night. Heâd spent the night after your picnic date with his hand in bis boxers, squeezing his eyes shut and remembering the little gasp you had made when he grabbed your waist, the hum in your throat that bubbled up when he kissed you pinned against the blanket, that night and every night since.Â
âOh, you donât like that?â that joking tone he uses to cover up what he actually wants to say.Â
âShut up, you know I do,â you didnât even try to stifle your reaction, knowing it was his intent to get under your skin.
âHow would I possibly know that,â he playfully looks up at the ceiling and around the bar, hands clasped behind his back now, rocking back and forth on his heels.
âYou better cut that shit out, unless you plan on doing something about it,â you manage the most assertive tone your wobbly insides could muster, a little shocked at yourself for actually saying what you were thinking.Â
âIâm not much of a planner,â he gracefully takes a stance next to you and rips all three darts, not great shots, but all hitting the board, âIâm more of a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kind of guy, you know that.â
âWell your pants better make up their mind if youâre playing boyfriend tonight or not,â your insinuation was heavy but you had fumbled your hand, and he had already seen all your cards at this point, so there was no reason to bluff.
âThe real question is,â he leans in, his imposing figure crowding your space in a way that made your head spin, âdo you want me to play boyfriend? Or do you want me to play guy who fucks your brains out in the bar bathroom?â
Your eyebrows pinched together for a millisecond, and before he could decipher your expression you grabbed his hand and started storming through the crowds hoarded by the bar. Why the hell a seedy downtown bar has a single stall family bathroom with a changing table is beyond you, but you drag him inside and slam the lock down behind you.Â
âYouâre not allowed to treat me any differently after this,â you start to fall into the sinkhole of oh my god what the hell is about to happen, but are cut off by him pressing you against the closed door the exact way he had handled you against his kitchen wall that night weeks ago.Â
âNot unless you want me to,â he doesnât hesitate to get his mouth on yours, immediately pulling your mind from wondering what the vague sticky substance on the door pressing into your back could be.Â
âI mean, youâre not allowed to fuck me and then never talk to me again,â you say in between moving lips and tongues, giving him a moment to bury his face in your neck, "Promise me."
âOh donât worry about that,â he pulls back, âwe can go get coffee tomorrow and you can give me a full performance review. Promise.â
Your annoyed eye roll quickly turns into them fluttering shut as he licks a stripe up to the junction behind your ear that has you melted into a boneless puddle between his pressing hips and the door. He drags his teeth across your lobe while leaning into you with a black denim clad thigh.
âWhy donât we make a deal,â you let out, voice breathy and unfocused. Before he can even pull back to reply you continue, âif youâre half as good at this as you claim to be, and can make me cum in this dingy bathroom, Iâll let you take me back to your trailer and you can do whatever the fuck you want to me.â
He was leaning in to seal the deal with a kiss before he could even process your request, because yes of course, a million times yes heâs taking this deal. Despite the rouse of you playing bar hookup for the night, and despite the idea of bringing you back to his place and finally doing what heâs wanted since the day he met you absolutely terrifying him, he nods and kisses you.Â
Itâs electrifying. His confidence only spurs you on to kiss him harder, grip his hair a little tighter, say the things you would only imagine in the deepest parts of your mind. The feeling of his grin against your lower lip and his fingers quickly unbuttoning your jeans fuels your fire.Â
âYou sure you know what youâre getting into,â he mumbles playfully, pulling you away from the wall with a gasp and leading you over to the tiny built in counter against a mirror by the sink.Â
âWell Iâm certainly not letting you fuck me against any of these sticky surfaces,â you note as youâre lifted onto the counter covered in mystery substance, âand I think you need to earn it.â
Of course it was no surprise to you that Eddie was good with his fingers. You probably could have told anyone that long before this impromptu bathroom hookup. Egging him on and challenging him in a way you were sure he wasnât used to was well worth abandoning your assumptions.Â
âOh yeah? I think, if youâre lucky, Iâll earn it more times than you can count before the nightâs over,â he positioned himself in between your legs, pressing your torso into the mirror behind you as he leaned in for another heated kiss.Â
He pulled your ass to the edge of the counter, and looped his thumbs into the waistband of your unbuttoned pants. You were quick to assume that heâd yank the fabric right off your legs, preparing to lift your ass from the counter to assist.
Eddie paused, pulled back and gave you a look that asked âyouâre sure about this?â and when a dreamy smile spread across your cheeks he melted into you with a kiss that turned your stomach inside out and made your pussy flutter.
He snakes a hand from its grip on your torso down into your unbuttoned pants. You arched up into his touch, wanting to urge him to get on with it and get your pants and underwear out of the way, but appreciating how much he seemed to be reveling in feeling you for the first time.Â
âSo fuckin wet,â he mumbled against your lips, his fingers only feeling up your cunt from outside your underwear. He pressed the fabric into your slick center, following the path up to your clit and then teasingly back down to where your panties were soaked through.
âYou werenât lying when you said you liked this a little too much,â heâs rolling his hips ever so slightly against your spread thigh as he rubs your clothed pussy, his teeth sinking into your lower lip as he moves the material aside and sinks two fingers right into your wet cunt with ease.
You were sure that youâd retrospectively have a million quippy compacks that come to mind, but in this moment it was impossible to come up with words when his fingers were buried inside you, still, just letting you squeeze around them, and his hard cock straining against his jeans nestled against the inside of your thigh.
He slowly drags his fingerâs up from your hole to your clit, and you let out a whine of desperation as he fully removes his hand from your damp underwear.Â
Before you can manage the breath to tell him to please, for the love of god, get on with it, he brings his fingers up to his lips and gives them a long suck, never breaking eye contact with you.Â
âYeah,â he sighs out and presses his forehead against yours, âI might like that a little too much too.â
Protests and urging words catch in your throat as he yanks down your pants and underwear with one quick pull, not even needing you to lift your ass off the counter more than it already was. He was methodical and moved with intention, folding up your pants neatly and shoving your soaked panties into his back pocket, shooting you a wink.Â
âEddie, please,â your overdue complaints are finally bubbling over. You hardly finish your plea before his face is buried in your neck, and his fingers are sliding right back into your needy hole.Â
The top of your head rests against the mirror behind you, exposing your neck and arching your back into his touch. He sucks and nips at the soft skin between your collar bone and ear, all while letting his two middle fingers pump slowly into you.
âMmmm,â he mumbles into the crook of your jaw, âsuch a good girl for me, perfect pussy squeezing my fingers so tight, canât fuckin wait to feel you soak my cock.â
Nearly orgasming at his words alone, your eyes flutter shut and you let out a moan of his name as he lets his thumb drag circles across your clit. âEddie, please, just like that, I-â
âOh, suddenly sheâs not questioning my abilities?â he says with a biting smirk, âWhat was that about me not being half as good as I think I am?â
âFuck,â you want to raise an eyebrow and shoot something back, hold out and make him work for it, but after hardly two minutes of his fingers rolling inside you, hooked up to drag along that perfect fucking spot, you had no choice but to feed his ego and let him win.Â
âYou wanted to make your little deal,â he pumps a little faster, making your head loll to the side and mouth hang half open, âIâll sweeten it for you, babe. I say we can get this pretty pussy to come twice all over my fingers before anyone even knocks on this door.â
âYes,â is all you can squeak out, âyes, please.â
If Eddie was being honest, he was a few half-thrusts into your thigh short of coming in his own pants from how hot you looked. Your eyes glassed over, pretty lips parted and gasping his name, perfect cunt sucking his fingers in.Â
The hand not occupied by your gushing cunt slid up to cup the side of your cheek, forcing you to look into his fiery eyes. âFeelâs good?â he questions, knowing the answer and not expecting a verbal response.
He drags the pad of his thumb up to your parted lips, running it along your plush bottom lip and dragging it down a bit, relishing in how under his spell you were. His thumb slips into your mouth and you immediately wrap your lips around it and suck.Â
âGood girl,â his thumb on your clit is rubbing more focused circles, âsuck on that and keep your voice down, donât want the whole bar knowing what a good little slut you are for me.â
Jackpot.Â
A muffled moan around his thumb and the spasming of your inner walls signaled that you were hitting your peak. He drags the spit slicked digit from your lips and quickly replaces it with his lips and tongue, kissing you with fervor as he feels you ride out your orgasm on his hand.Â
âMmmmmmmâ you moan, somewhere between a pleading whine and a sigh of satisfaction into his lips as his fingers donât let up.Â
Under different circumstances you would tell him to slow down, give you a minute to catch your breath. Eddie was stubborn, this you knew, and he had already made it abundantly clear that one orgasm wasnât going to be enough.Â
He pulls back from your lips, loving the sharp intake of breath you swallow as your cheeks continue to flush and eyelids keep fluttering.Â
âSo fucking good, came all over my fingers,â his gaze locks in on where his hand was buried into your cunt. âGonna give me one more?â
Of course you would, whether it was up to you or not. He did slow up for a second, just enough for you to regain your grip on reality before he started curling them up again.Â
âEddie,â you whine out, eyes nearly crossed and unable to focus your attention on his face, hands, anything other than his boner poking into your inner thigh, âwanna feel you.â
The hand formerly gripped tight onto the edge of the counter snakes forward and pulls his hip into you, a permanent indentation of his stiff cock molding against your skin.Â
âNot yet baby,â he rolls his hips forward, giving you a delicious feel of how it would be if he was inside you, but instead pushing his fingers a touch deeper and then pulling his hips away, âone more and then Iâll take you home. Youâre gonna let me ruin that perfect little cunt, right? That was the deal?â
âYes,â you gasp out, his other hand moving from your hair down to rub fast tight circles on your clit, the other hand still pumping steadily inside you.
âThatâs right, I know this pussy is gonna take me so well. Youâre already drooling for my cock, so fucking perfect.â
You feel it building up again, that sacred double orgasm that only ever came during your alone time in the shower or when you were so desperate for release that your hand didnât stop after the first, but never with another person, never like this.Â
His smile nearly touched his ears at this point, pulling back to take in all of you as your eyes screwed shut and thighs threatened to break his wrist at how fast they snapped together.Â
Hitting you like a punch to the gut, your abdomen tightened and released rapidly, air sucked from your lungs and his hand working you through it between your clenched thighs.Â
Yeah, maybe this was a bad idea.Â
If you were in a cartoon, stars and chirping birds would be swirling around your head as you slowly came back to reality. He gave you some space, and begrudgingly gave you pack your panties after you hand out your hand and gave him a stern look.
âIâm gonna go tell the others that you arenât feeling great and Iâm taking you home,â he makes sure youâve pulled your pants back up before unlocking the door, âTake your time, and Iâll meet you at the van, okay? Iâll grab your stuff.â
âYeah,â you still feel a little flustered, looking back into the mirror and smoothing down your hair, âthanks.â
He shoots you a wink before slipping out, giving you a moment to collect yourself and splash some cold water on your face. Okay, so youâre doing this.Â
Any nagging feelings that this might ruin things or that heâs only teasing you because of your arrangement are quickly squished down into a deeper compartment of your brain, overtaken by the post orgasm bliss and wandering thoughts of what might happen next.Â
You peek your head out of the bathroom door, and slink your way to the back door without passing your group table or a stray Steve or Robin. The fresh air equalizes your buzzing thoughts, and you spot Eddie, already in the driverâs seat of his van.Â
âYou good?â He asks as you hop into the passenger seat. You wonât let him have the upper hand, just because he made you come twice in under ten minutes.Â
âYeah,â you gather as much assertion as your voice will project, âYou good?â
âFâcourse,â he starts backing up, you internally roll your eyes at the way his outstretched arm muscles and curved neck make your stomach flutter, âJust wanted to make sure I passed the test.â
You sit in silence, not wanting to give into the cocky game he clearly wants to play, yet know that heâs entirely correct in his assumption that heâs driven you completely crazy. Once heâs on the main stretch of road, finally rolling to a stop at a red light you let your hand migrate across the center console, dancing its way into his lap.Â
As you hoped, his cock was still half hard and apparent underneath his jeans. You let your hand draw circles next to it, loving the little twitch you get when you run your nails against his thigh.Â
âEasy there, tiger,â he lets out a huffed laugh, with just an edge to his tone that suggested you were getting yourself into something youâd soon regret.Â
âCâmon Eds,â you let your head fall on the corner of the headrest, gaze angled over at his tight grip on the steering wheel while your hand dancing around the bulge in his pants, âyouâve been pushing this thing against my thigh for the past twenty minutes, forgive me for wanting a better feel.â
You put on a pretend pouty face and flash him your best puppy dog eyes to ward off any incoming snippy comments from him. He rolls his pretty eyes at you and silently bites the inside of his cheek as you feel up and down his lap, grazing his growing cock with each pass.Â
âForgiven,â through gritted teeth, he squeezes his eyes shut as your fingers circle around his head, now taking visible form beneath his black jeans. He internally reprimands himself for losing focus on the road, and zeroes his concentration on getting back to his trailer as fast as this van can take him.Â
You have your fun watching him wiggle in his seat, feeling his thigh muscles clench under your palm every so often. You werenât full on jerking him off over his pants, but you were certainly relishing in the feeling of his dick getting harder and harder with each occasional pass of your hand.
He parks diagonally across the lawn in front of his trailer, not giving a shit where the van ends up as long as itâs stopped. He wanted to dash around the vehicle and scoop you out of your seat, throw you over his shoulder and take you inside to continue with whatever this evening had in store for you.
The second his hand stalled on the clutch, shifting the van into park and taking a moment to let his mind wander to what would happen once he got you inside, you were already halfway out the van and skipping up the steps to his front door.Â
Entering his trailer, you start taking off your coat and shoes, trying to act as normal as possible. Your facade of keeping it cool entirely shatters when he enters behind you, calmly clicking the door shut and patiently waiting for you to finish unlacing your boots.
You remain crouched down, darting your eyes up at him, deciding against being a brat and undoing your laces as slowly as possible to keep him waiting. Any caution you had was long swept away by the wind, and heâd taken control in your little bathroom tryst, so it was your turn to say fuck it and just do what felt right.Â
And in this moment, there was only a few quick movements and about six inches of space between you and Eddieâs semi-hard dick. One shoe was only half off, haphazardly kicked behind you as you pivoted onto your knees and had your hands moving eagerly up his tensing thighs.
âCan I?â Your question was half formed and he was already nodding.Â
Youâd teased him enough on the ride over, you wanted him, now. Pants quickly unbuttoned and blue checkered boxers pushed down to his knees, and you were about to go feral and just go for it when a silver glimmer adorning his thick cock caught your eye.
Your mouth was already half open, but your jaw nearly unhinged and hit the floor when the pierced head of his dick falls out of his boxers and lands at your eye level.Â
Unmoving, mouth agape, you look up to make eye contact, ripping your eyes away from the shock of two silver balls on his cockhead. He knew it was nice, he wouldnât have bedazzled it if it wasnât, but the look you were giving him sucked all the unwavering confidence from his body for a split second, suddenly feeling weak in the knees at the sight of you slowly sicking your tongue out, not making any contact but waiting.Â
He took the base of his dick in his hand and gave it a few precautionary strokes before angling it down and slapping your wet tongue with the tip a few times.Â
You were two and a half seconds away from being entirely fucked out. If he pulled away and asked you to crawl on all fours to him, youâd do it without a second thought.
You let him slide his cock gently against your outstretched tongue a few times before coming to your senses and wrapping your lips around him, moving your hand to replace his and move against the length that your mouth couldnât yet reach.Â
All it took was a few steady bobs of your head, hand twisting and eyes still focused upwards on his face, to have him biting his knuckle and looking up at the ceiling to ground himself to try and not bust on the spot. You love this, of course, seeing him visibly spiral paired with the salty taste of precum already leaking from him.Â
The hand not jerking him off comes up to the back of his hip, gently pushing against him in tandem with the movements of your head, encouraging him to shallowly thrust into your mouth.
âJesus fu-â he grunts out, not wanting to overestimate your encouragement, but unable to keep his hips from rolling forward slightly with the push of your hands and the bob of your lips.Â
After an unexpected snap of his hips that sent his cock sliding into the back of your throat, making you gag slightly, a pang of guilt struck through him for pushing too hard. That was, until you let your head pull back a touch to catch your breath, but a long string of spit connected your lips to his cock, and a wild smile broke across your face that nearly sent him to the moon.Â
You dove back in and pushed his cock all the way into the back of your throat, going so far that your nose pressed into the patch of dark curls that sat above his perfect dick. Focusing your breathing through your nose, you make a point to constrict your throat a few times until you feel him twitch inside you.
Pulling off with a gasp for air, you notice his eyebrows pinched together and gaze locked on you.Â
âI like how these feel,â you comment, letting your pointed tongue dance around the metal balls on his tip.
He shudders and you clench your thighs at the sight of his stomach muscles tensing up when your tongue makes contact with the underside of his head, right where it meets the shaft.Â
âIf I let you fuck my mouth until you come, are you still going to be able to give it to me in a bit, or are you a one and done kind of guy?â You ask with a playfully teasing tone, but genuinely want to know if you suck him off to completion if the night will be over or not.Â
âFuck,â he spits out, more blood rushing to his cock at the idea of coming down your throat, âIâd fuck you all night if youâd let me babe.â
Half a second doesnât pass before his cock is back in your mouth, hips shakily moving forward with your movements, gaining confidence as you flicker your eyes up at him through your lashes, the glimmer in them telling him he can take what he wants.Â
âFuckinâ look at you,â he comments to himself, âtakinâ it all.âÂ
âMhmmm,â you hum around him letting your tongue roll around his tip each time before he pushes his cock back down your throat.Â
âYou think you can get away with teasing me like that? That shit you pulled in the van back there, you think itâs cute to try and get me all riled up?â
You nod, tongue out and saliva coating your lips and chin. You could tell he was close by the way his words came out staggered, and his hips started snapping towards you in a new tempo, like his body was chasing it.Â
Grunts and moans pulled from his chest fill the space mixed with the hums of satisfaction you let out while you take him deeper and faster. Moving in for the kill, you carefully slip your hand up in between his legs, cupping his balls, trying your best not to startle him.Â
âOh fuck,â it was a pitch of his voice youâd never heard before, a new tone especially reserved for the moments before orgasm, âyouâre gonna make me fuckin come, y/n, y/n, IâmâŚâ
The feeling of his balls constricting in your hands cues the warm wash of come sputtering down into your throat.
Getting the feeling heâd appreciate a bit of a show, you continue to jerk him off and pull off his cock slightly, letting the tip balance onto the tip of your tongue and the rest of his load spills out into your open mouth, some landing around the corners and onto your lips.Â
âChrist, y/n,â his chest is heaving, his eyes finally pulling from you to squeeze shut for a moment.Â
Once youâre sure heâs looking at you again you swallow down the salty white substance and lick the excess off your lips. You take his head back into your mouth, sucking just enough to clean off the tip and lap up any stray drops. Heâs sensitive, you can tell, so you stop torturing him and place a final kiss right in between the two metal balls.Â
You thought of asking him if the piercing hurt, or maybe make a comment about the two matching tattoos on his hipbones, ink of his youâd never seen until now. Before your brain can jump from swallowing his come to making post-nut chit chat, heâs yanking you up off your feet and wrapping you in a searingly passionate kiss.Â
In your past experience most guys wanted you to drink some water or brush your teeth after they came in your mouth, at least before kissing you. Not Eddie. The way his tongue immediately slipped into your mouth, you almost believed he was trying to get a taste for himself.Â
âCâmon,â he whispers in between slotting his lips with your, âBedroom. Now.âÂ
He takes your hips in his hands and spins you around, causing a surprised yelp to bubble up from you, making him chuckle behind you as he walks you down the hall, keeping his hands on your sides.Â
You knew where you were going, there were only so many doors in his tiny trailer, and youâd been here plenty of times before, but you liked the feeling of his hands pushing you forward, guiding your movements and steering you down the hallway into his room.Â
Before your knees can hit the bed he spins you back around and captures your lips in another heated kiss. His hands trail up your sides, letting his fingertips slide beneath the hem of your shirt and push it upwards until your ribs were exposed. He pulls away from your face, leaving you leaning back into him, not wanting the kiss to end.Â
âUp,â he pinches the sides of your shirt in his hands, and signals with his chin that he wants you to lift your arms, which you comply.Â
It slides up and off of you, his hands quickly darting back to unclasp your bra, seemingly without even trying. This makes you roll your eyes, but the realization that youâre bare before him eclipses the thought of making a snippy remark about what a man whore he is.Â
Flat palms caress your sides and move up to cup your breasts, his tongue pressing into the side of your neck.Â
âThese too,â his thumbs dip into your pants, managing to wiggle under the waistband of your panties as well. Youâre going to do it yourself, but he gently pushes you back onto the bed, letting you flip back into the unmade blankets.Â
âI wanna see you,â he pops your pants button and waits for a nod before sliding your pants and underwear down your legs.Â
In between the blowjob and now, heâd tucked himself back into his pants, pulling his boxers and jeans back up, still unbuttoned, but covering him back up as his cock returned to a half hard state, unlikely to stay that way for very long considering how things were going.Â
The scene of you now sprawled out onto his bed, naked and needy for him, and him standing above you, basically fully clothed, had a flood of lust traveling south between your thighs.
âSo fuckinâ gorgeous,â you burned under his intense gaze, raking down your body and soaking in the image of your skin laid out against his flannel plaid sheets.Â
He crawls over you, letting his body melt into yours, the center seam of his jeans pressing against your soaking core, just as it had when he had you pressed up against the door of the bar bathroom.
Rocking gently against you, you feel his cock already starting to harden again. His tongue moves against your neck, hands roaming freely against your skin, arching into his touch.Â
His breath was heavy against your lips, he was already starting to lose himself, and he knew he wanted to make you come with his tongue at least once before his dick came back out, but it was already pulsing between his legs, growing rock solid with every little whimper that came past your lips.Â
Your fingers intertwined themselves into the tresses of his long, messy hair. You use your new grip to pull his face as close into yours as your bodies will allow, smushing his nose up against your cheek and foreheads plastered together. The weight of his body on yours, and the lovely rocking motion of his hips against yours stopped as he pulled away and hooked his arms under your knees.Â
He slides off the side of the bed, feet returning to the carpeted ground and yanking your body to the edge of the mattress. You let out an unexpected giggle, body limp like a rag doll, moving wherever he wanted you.Â
He leans back over to give you another deep kiss, teeth dragging against your lower lip and tongue sliding gracefully against yours, before he slides his mouth down, stopping to lap up at your nipples for a moment, not letting any part of your skin go untouched as he takes his time moving down to where you want him most.Â
Wiggling around on his mattress, your body is begging him to get on with it, but he loves to make you squirm. He takes his time licking up your hip bones, kissing from the innermost part of your thigh all the way down to your knee, and then back up the other side. He even takes a long moment to suck a dark purple bruise into the meat of your thigh, biting down on the flesh and licking over the skin to soothe it, noticing how your back arched a little when he bit down harder.Â
âPlease Eddie,â your voice is hardly above a whisper, whimpering and whiny.
âAll you had to do was ask nicely,â he has that too-cocky tone again, but itâs long forgotten once his tongue is buried in between your thighs, lapping up the excess of wetness already pooled there.
âOhhh,â you let out a moan, sucking in a sharp breath and allowing your body to relax under his focused touch.Â
His hands push up from your ass to the crooks of your knees, moving your legs back to either side of you, strong palms finding their resting place on the backs of your thighs, keeping your legs spread wide open for him while he buries his face deep in your cunt.Â
âYou-â the start of a compliment, or maybe a request, escapes your lips but the sudden harsh suck of your clit into his mouth has you speechless and moaning, âMhmmmmm, uhhhhhhh.â
The sloppy wet sounds of him making out with your pussy are enough to drive you wild, your hands originally balling his sheets in your fists quickly move to the top of his head, resting atop his mop of messy curls.Â
âYâcan give it a tug,â the first half of his statement spoken directly into your pussy, âI donât mind a little pain.â He shoots you a wink and keeps his eyes locked on you as he lets his tongue lap a fat long lick up your slit, and then leaning back down to encourage you to tangle your hands into his hair.Â
Coming to either side of his head you grab two points of purchase, locking your fingers in at the roots and feeling him hum into your cunt when you grabbed it a little tighter.Â
Your hips start to quiver, so he brings one hand from your thigh up to your lower stomach, pinning you against the bed, and still keeping you spread open with the other.Â
Working a steady rhythm against your slick center with his lips and tongue, he can tell heâs found the spot you like most by your open mouth and tight eyebrows.
âOhmygod,â your chest starts moving with heavy breaths, you canât bear to keep yourself up any longer and flop back down flat onto the mattress, eyes screwing shut in pleasure. He lets go of his anchor on your tummy and returns his hands to your thighs, allowing your hips to wiggle and wriggle against his face to chase after your own pleasure.Â
âPleasepleaseplease,â one glimpse of his big brown eyes looking up at you and his nose pressing deliciously into the spot above your clit has your head reeling, âplease donât stop, fuck.â
Rather than reply, he just continues to devour you at that steady pace, your thighs almost snapping shut around his head .Â
âUh huh, right there, oh fuck Eddie Iâm gonna-âÂ
A strangled moan rips from your throat and your back arches off the mattress, his hands quickly come to wrap around your thighs and keep your center held closely against his face. Heâs pulling your hips flush with his face, despite your spasming torso and gushing core.Â
As your orgasm peaks, your hips angle themselves to push up deeper into his face, and he uses his leverage against the backs of your thighs to lift your ass, the entire lower half of your body now off the mattress and sliding backwards as he keeps his moving tongue glued to your clit.Â
He climbs up onto the mattress as you slide back, the grip he had on your legs was sure to leave a sore memory of him unwilling to let your coming pussy away from his face.Â
When he finally pulls away, your hand pushing at his forehead to prevent overstimulation, both of you gasping for air, his knees are propped under your thighs, and your hips are propped up right at perfect level with the bulge in his pants.Â
âFuck me,â you say through catching your breath, not as an expletive but rather a demand, âEddie, I need you to fuck me,â your voice was whiny and desperate.Â
âThis okay?â he starts pulling his dick from its constraints in his unbuttoned jeans, not even shoving them halfway down his thighs before he had that pretty pierced dip dragging through your open and ready folds.Â
âYes, inside, please,â you were chasing after his length, while he tossed his shirt off. He teasingly ran it up and down your slit before sinking into you, collapsing down to press your lips into a kiss to swallow your moans as he slid the whole thing in slowly, making sure to take his time and fuck you right.Â
He grabbed the back of your neck and pressed his forehead to yours, finally sheathed all the way inside you and stilling for a moment to relish in the feeling. Pulling back so he can watch your face as he pumps his first few thrusts, he knows heâs beyond fucked.Â
âSo fucking good,â you slur out, eyes almost crossing from how deep his cock was hitting your insides.
âYeah? This pussyâs god damn perfect, fucking made for me,â he articulates each thought with a snap of his hips, âsuckinâ me right in.âÂ
âWait, can we,â your voice had a little more weight behind it unlike the airy moans heâd grown obsessed with in the past forty minutes.
He pulls back, and rather than finish your thought you slip him out of you and roll over, shuffling up the bed and positioning yourself face down ass up, knees spread and back arched.Â
âYou think you can handle it?â he asks jokingly, swatting your ass playfully and then landing a second, harder smack on the flesh when he notices you pussy clench around nothing at the sensation of him spanking you.Â
âWant you to fuck me hard,â you mumble into his pillow, wiggling your hips a little bit to jiggle the fat of your ass, âI know your cock is gonna feel so fucking good in me this way, wanna feel that fucking piercing back in my throat from the other direction.â
âJesus Christ, y/n,â he was genuinely a little shocked at your words, slowly learning that your freak side might match his.Â
You expected to feel his cock slam into you once his hands came to spread your ass apart, but instead the mattress dipped and he was licking another fat stripe from your clit all the way up past your second hole, running this back a few times until you were moaning into the pillow and thighs were tensed up from the attention he was giving you.
âSorry babe, just needed another taste,â he pushed the head of his dick into you, and moved the first few inches agonizingly slow into your soaked hole.Â
âEddie please, need it, need you,â he loved that his sheets were balled up in your fists, using the tension of the material to bounce yourself back onto him. You only manage to slide back down about three quarters before heâs tightly gripping your hip and pulling out half way again.Â
âTsk tsk tsk, you need to learn to be patient, pretty girl,â heâd thrust it an inch of so, and then slowly pull back, making you whine and start to feel tears bubble up in the corners of your eyes.Â
âWant it so bad,â your cheek laid flat against his pillow, and you could catch a glimpse of him behind you out of the corner of your eye if you craned your neck a bit. You sounded so desperate, but you knew he liked it, liked hearing how badly you craved him.Â
He starts moving in and out of you, firm grip on your ass never wavering. Restrained grunts left his mouth as he fucked into you, causing your eyes to practically roll into the back of your head. He leans down to place a soft kiss on your shoulder blade, despite how viciously he's pounding into you. His head cranes down to your shoulder, his hand coming up to brush your hair out of your face.Â
As his long fingers move your hair away from your eyes, you push your head back into his hand, not wanting to lose contact. He tentatively runs his hands up into your hair, taking a soft grip on your roots.
âIs this what you want?â he whispers, âyou like it rough?â
âYes,â you manage to squeak out, âfuck, pull my hair, spank me, do whatever the fuck you want to me, please.â
His vision practically goes black with this new unrestricted passion, allowing himself to thrust into you as hard and as deep as his hips would propel him, twisting your hair in his grip and pulling you up from your laid position, quickly letting your hands jump to his headboard to support you as your head was pulled back.Â
You tried to bounce back onto his cock, wanting to feel him as deeply and wholly as your bodies would allow, but you could hardly keep up with the pace he had set.Â
Your ass bouncing against him and the occasional glance he caught at your fucked out expression spurred him on to fuck you even harder. He had your hair pulled back so tight that your back was pressing flush up with his chest every so often, and he took the opportunity to snake an arm around you and hold your chest up flat, his other hand moving down to rub frantic circles on your clit.
âYouâre gonna make me come like this,â you manage to croak out, voice hoarse from the harsh bend in your neck.Â
âNuh uhh, no,â his voice was gruff and commanding, right into your ear and sent a shiver down your spine.Â
He pulled out of you fully, and had you flipped around flat on your back again before you could even open your mouth to complain.Â
âNeed to see that pretty face when you come on my cock,â he lines himself up with you again, pushing into you and making a mental note of how the bulge of his cock looked pressing up from the inner part of your lower stomach.Â
And of course, your face screwed up in pleasure, puffy lips and sweaty brow, slack jawed and panting his name would be something Eddie wouldnât be able to forget even if he tried.
His thumb found its way to your clit to pick up where he had last left you, steadily building to an earth shattering orgasm. Talking you through it, knowing you were close by the vice grip your walls had on his dick, in between grunts he spilled out some âgood girlââs and âright fuckin there, thatâs it.âÂ
When he felt your thighs tense up, and the muscles in your neck strain against the soft skin heâd previously had his lips all over, he knew you were nearing the finish line.Â
âSo fucking perfect, feel so good wrapped around me,â he managed to sweet talk you without altering the pace of his hips, âThatâs it, come on my cock, give it to me.â
With that, your body canât help but throw itself over the edge of pleasure. A deep grunt rattles in your chest, and you lose all sensation other than the wild pulsing in between your legs. You canât be bothered to worry about what your face looks like, or if your thighs are squeezing him too hard, you only feel the riptide of an orgasm shattering through you.Â
The animalistic noise that Eddie grunts out, his wild gaze locked on your face only makes your body shake with pleasure even harder. He had that instinct that most men lacked, to keep the exact pace and motion when your orgasm hit rather than speed up or slow down, it was a gift, a talent.Â
Of course he wasnât going to change a thing about what he was doing, look at you. You were so fucking perfect, shaking and coming all over him, those sweet noises and the beautiful squelching between your thighs. Heâd rather die than change a single thing about this moment.Â
He stilled only when you paused to catch your breath, and within seconds was flipped over by the power of your thighs onto his back.
Unexpectedly, you began to ride him, trying to match the pace he had earlier set. The aftershocks of your orgasm still washed through you, but you seized the moment to get him right where you wanted him. This angle was different, deeper and more connected. You roll your hips and bring your hands up to his hair, foreheads pressing together once again.Â
âYouâre making me feel so fucking good,â you manage to breathe out into his lips, he quickly comes to the realization of whatâs happened and shifts the angle of his hips to hit you even deeper.Â
âIâd give you everything, if youâd let me,â he doesnât let a single thought pass in his mind before the words slip out, âalways.â
Your lips capture his in a kiss that has far more emotion behind it than two friends play-dating and fucking for fun. His hands come up to grasp your cheeks, your hips continue to roll down into his with purpose.Â
âIâm- Where-â his words are hardly intelligible in between breathless kisses, but you know what he means.Â
âInside, please, need all of you inside me,â you try to keep your voice steady so he hears you loud and clear, wanting to give him the exact attention he had paid to you, âPlease Eddie, come inside me.â
His hands travel down and guide your hips to fuck down onto him one, two, three times before heâs groaning in your ear and letting out the prettiest and most vulnerable sounds youâve ever heard form him.Â
The swell of his cock inside you makes you drape your head into his neck, focusing on riding out his orgasm and making sure he was twitching in the aftershocks of his orgasm before you let up.Â
When you felt his grip on your hips tighten, signaling that heâd had too much, you sink all the way down one final time and let your body lay limp on his, pulsing cock still filling you up.Â
His chest rose and fell harshly with his recovering breaths. You could feel his heartbeat pulsing up through the spot on his neck where your ear laid on his sweaty skin.
Silently awaiting the inevitable tap on the shoulder, the slow pull out and post-sex cleanup process, you try to savor every passing moment. But it doesnât come. Eddie wraps his arms around your midsection and holds your limp body close to his, letting his cock start to soften inside you.Â
You nearly fall asleep like that, all wrapped up in him, until you recognize that you should pee and clean up to avoid a UTI. You slip off of him, and hear a disappointed groan from him. He makes cute grabby hands at you as you cross the room, making you roll your eyes, but something deep inside you flip flops with how sweet heâs being, so caring, so unlike the picture of himself that he had painted for you.Â
You give him a wet hand towel to clean up the remnants of your activities, and slip back into bed with him per his insistence. You doze off for a while, until the rising sun peeking through his blinds catches your eye, striking you with the sudden decision to stay and face the music or leave and let it settle.Â
Youâd already regretted it, but werenât ready to have the âhey, so I know we had fake boyfriend-girlfriend sex, but I actually really like you so what should we do about that?â conversion with him, so instead you take the cowardly path and tiptoe out of his room in the early morning hours, leaving behind your underwear on his nightside table with a scribbled note saying to call you. Hopefully that was enough of a signal.Â
Apparently not,
Days pass, and no call.Â
It was all starting to get to your head. While you had gone through the stages of being nervous that you had done something wrong, that he was avoiding you to spare you the rejection, thinking he regretted what had happened and didnât want to face you, who was so obviously into him it was painful, youâd just now turned a new leaf. Fuck that. If he was too much of a coward to call you, you'd hope he'd at least give you the decency as a friend to tell you the truth, you deserved to be angry, and you deserved a response.Â
After stewing in your feelings for longer than felt healthy, you just get in your car and start driving to his trailer. If this all blew up in your face at least you wouldnât have to keep biting your nails and waiting for the phone to ring.Â
Three deep breaths, and a quick moment to gather your thoughts, and suddenly your body acted on instinct, putting the car in park and walking up to pound three concise knocks on his trailer door.Â
âJust a second,â he hollered from inside, giving you a few seconds to be stricken with regret for showing up unannounced without a plan on what exactly to say.Â
âWhat do you- oh, y/n,â he was in a pair of plaid pajama pants that hung low on his hips, shirtless and hair still damp from a recent shower, âuh, hey?â
âOh, hey,â your tone was laced with annoyance, âI left something here last week and Iâm here to get it back. If you donât mind.â
âWhat- oh,â heâs a second too slow to realize you mean the underwear you had purposefully left behind with that note. The note telling him to call you. Which he never did.Â
You were left standing on his porch steps, arms crossed and shooting daggers out of your eyes while he stood there in the doorway, an apparent guilty expression plastered on his face while he rocked back on his heels to buy some time to figure out what to say.Â
âYou donât have to invite me inside, if you can just grab them and give them to me, and Iâll be out of your hair,â you say flatly, recognizing if he does as asked then this might be the last time you speak to Eddie Munson.Â
âNo, no, uh, you should come in,â he steps aside to let you in, âwe probably shouldnât have this conversation on my front steps.â
Avoiding eye contact, feeling an overwhelming mix of anger, confusion, and betrayal, you step inside and donât make any effort to move into the space. You just stand by the door and give him an expectant look. Either he could go get the underwear, or he could grow a pair and say something to you.Â
âI, uh-â he looked so defeated you started to feel bad for using such a pointed tone, but then you remembered the days and days that passed without hearing from him, âIâm sorry, that I, yâknowâŚâ
âYeah, well I donât really care if youâre not looking for any post sex recap conversations, because youâre obviously pretty sure of yourself in that department,â the words flew out before your mind could even conjure them up, âbut you fucking promised me that you wouldnât do this, so can I please just have my underwear back and I wonât bother you again.â
He runs a hand through his hair letting out a deep exhale and searching the ceiling for words, âI know, I-â
You cut him off, your thoughts were ripping through you now and you were going to say your piece whether he asked for it or not, âYou said you wouldnât pull this shit with me, but I guess our friendship isnât substantial enough for you to see me any differently than you do every other girl you throw away after youâve gotten what you want. You clearly donât want any more advice and you clearly donât want to be my friend, so please, just give me my shit so I can go.â
âThatâs the fucking thing y/n, of course I donât want to be your friend,â his gaze still fixed on the ceiling.
At this point you were seconds away from just storming out, letting him keep your underwear as some twisted little trophy for breaking your heart.Â
âYeah, crystal clear Eddie.â
âBeing your friend is already hard enough, and I knew this shit was a bad idea, the whole trial-girlfriend thing. But how the fuck was I supposed to say no to that? The girl of my dreams offers to do all this no-strings-attached romantic shit, Iâd be the dumbest man alive to turn that down.â
You just give him a blank stare, your scalding anger twisting into a more confused frenzy of bees swarming in the pit of your stomach. Eyebrows pinched together, you just stare at him until he finally makes eye contact with you.Â
âAnd yeah,â he goes on, letting all his words out like a big exhale in the same cadence that you had just hurled all your angry words at his, but his tone was filled with guilt as opposed to rage, âmaybe we let it go a little too far, but I would never say no to you, I couldnât. Iâm sorry I didnât know what the fuck to say to you after, but thatâs exactly the reason Iâm not good enough for you. The more we kept that fake dating shit up the worse it was gonna get, so Iâm sorry, but I canât keep spending time with you like that, because itâs starting to fucking hurt.â
âHurt,â you say with a dry laugh, which almost scares him, âYOUâRE hurt? Give me a fucking break Eddie. I know you donât see me that way. So what, youâre too scared to hurt my feelings? Youâre doing a wonderful job, keep it up.â
âWhat the fuck do you mean, not see you like what?â
âDonât pretend to be dumb Eddie. When we first met I tried so hard to get your attention, asking you to hang out, and you always blew me off. Itâs fine that you donât want to date me or whatever, but at least just tell me that, donât fuck me like Iâm special or something and then toss me aside. I deserve better than that.â
âYeah, y/n, you do,â his voice was no longer guilt stricken, and was on the same straightforward plane as your last responses, âyou deserve so much fucking better than me, thatâs why I could never let anything between us happen. I donât call girls back. Iâm rude. I donât take care of myself, let alone others. I like to smoke, and drink, and get head from girls in bar bathrooms and never learn their names, and thatâs not the kind of person that a girl like you dates. Iâm a fun quick fuck. Youâre the kind of girl that after three dates heâll already have a ring picked out. Youâre everything, and Iâm nothing, so forgive me for sparing you of that.â
Your bones are frozen and the beat of silence gives him the opportunity to spin on his heel and start down the hallway, presumably to get your panties.Â
Snapping back into it, you let out a louder than expected, âHey,â and you start following him, not taking long to catch up to him in his bedroom.Â
âYou,â you point a finger at him, and start to feel the rage bubble up again, âdonât get to decide that youâre unloveable. And you donât get to tell me what kind of girl I am. Have you ever considered that maybe the reason youâre so lonely and miserable is because you choose to be? You donât get to decide what I deserve, I do. And I really fucking like you Eddie, so forgive me for acting like it.âÂ
You snatch your underwear off his bedside table, and give him a look, not fueled by anger or resentment, but empathy.Â
âIâm going to leave. And if you donât want to see me again, thatâs fine, but if you do, you can call me. Goodbye Eddie.â
You feel out of your own body, floating above it all and rewinding the conversation over and over, body on autopilot taking you home while your soul stayed behind and relived his words over and over, unsure if you feel better or worse than when you showed up.Â
Days pass by again, and you take his silence as more of a response than anything he had said to you during that conversation. You try not to wallow, but you feel scattered and distraught, at both the prospect of losing Eddie and having to deal with your shared friends, would they allow you to dance around each other, or would they flat out choose him and shut you out? Would group nights out bowling suddenly just turn into the occasional one-on-one coffee with Robin?Â
Until suddenly, on a random Tuesday afternoon when you've gotten home from work and are relaxing on the couch in your pajamas, three knocks are at your door.
At this point you figured it was over. He hadn't called and he'd made no effort to continue the dialogue. So a thought of Eddie doesn't even cross your mind in between the couch and opening the door.
And there he is.
In a suit, slightly descheveld in Eddie fashion, and holding a slightly wilting bouquet of flowers. Posture straight and brave face, but expecting your brutal edge upon answering the door nonetheless.
"Hey?" you're somewhat at a loss for words answering.
"Hi," he seems like he's running lines of a play in his mind, "I was hoping we could talk."
You reluctantly let him in, and he hands the flowers to you, as if it was a normal occurrence for him to bring you such a gift.
"First off," he starts, hardly breaching your living room entrance before starting his apology, "I regret the way we last left things, and I'm sorry for leaving you waiting for a response."
He flicks those big brown eyes at you and you can't help but give him the benefit of the doubt, he always was so sincere with his words.
"You're amazing. And although I'll remain adamant that I don't deserve someone like you in my life, I've been thinking a lot about what you said, and I'm sorry that tried to tell you how to feel."
You remain stoic at your seat on the couch, watching him shift his weight and bare his soul to you.
"You're perfect. Nice, funny, sexy, brave, all of it. And if you're willing to give me a chance, I don't know why the fuck you would, but if you are, I want to put aside all my bullshit and try this out, if you'll have me."
He stood there for a moment, letting you take in his request, bouquet in hand and suit adorned.
"And I owe you a few dates, for real."
As hard as you want your exterior to be, a smile cracks through.
"Okay, but know I don't fuck until the third date, at best," you jab, breaking his nervous exterior and visibly relieving the tension from his shoulders.
"I'm somewhat of a refined gentleman myself, so that won't be an issue," he bows and extends a hand to you.
You pull him down by the hand onto the couch with you, wrapping him up in a deep kiss. He was worth it, and you both knew it was worth the shot to try.
#eddie munson smut#smut#eddie x y/n#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson#eddie munson imagine#Eddie Munson smut#eddie munson fanfic#stranger things smut#eddie munson fem!reader
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Can't Help Myself - Ethan Landry x Fem!Reader
This contains SMUT - Minors DNI
Summary: You make your boyfriend cum in his pants.đ
Contains: Making out, dry humping.
A/N: First off, this is a little short. My life has been a little crazy lately, and with the stress of moving and life in general, I kind of forgot how to write. This obviously isn't anything super crazy, but ya girl hasn't posted in a fucking MONTH and I'm trying to get back into writing so bear with me!
You knew that Ethan was a virgin before you started dating him. You were more than okay with waiting for him to be ready, because even though heâd never come out and say it, he really wanted it to be special, and the perfect time.
There were a few times when things would be getting a little hot and heavy between the two of you, and youâd always pull away before it could go past just making out, and Ethan was starting to get a little frustrated with it.
After a long day, Ethan was so excited to spend time with you. You watched a movie together and were cuddling on his bed in his dorm before a simple kiss turned into a very heated make out session. You were a little surprised when he pulled you on top of him, your legs resting on either side of his hips as you straddled him.
As his lips moved with yours, you felt his hand start to inch up underneath the back of your shirt when you pulled away and started to laugh.
âWhyâd you stop?â he asked, his lips pouty as you shook your head.
âItâs not the right time, baby,â you said, as he sighed.
âHow is it not the right time?â he questioned, as you rolled your eyes.
âBecause Chad will be here soon. You donât want to be interrupted, do you?â
âI meanâŚthat sounds kind of hot,â he said, as you smirked at him.
âWe can make out, but thatâs it.â
âFine,â he huffed as he clung to your shirt, pulling you back down to connect your lips again.
As you adjusted to get a little more comfortable, he gasped into the kiss. You were already turned on, and once you felt how hard he was underneath you, your pussy was throbbing as you squirmed against him.
You soon felt his hands on your hips, moving you back and forth. The friction it gave your clit had you craving so much more as you tried to hold in all the sounds that were building in your throat.
Before you knew it, your body had a mind of itâs own. You pulled away and looked down at Ethan as your hips rocked over his, a soft moan slipping past your lips at the feeling.
âOh fuck,â he mumbled, as he watched the way you moved, the grip on your hips getting even tighter.
âThat feel good?â you asked, as he quickly nodded and moved you even faster against him.
Part of you wanted to give in and give him what he wanted, but you knew you didnât have the time. But once his mouth fell open and soft whimpers were flying out, you were sure that you could get him off just like this.
His brows were furrowing once you added more pressure, as moans started flying out of your mouth and his. He didnât want to take his eyes off you, but once they started fluttering, it got a lot harder for him.
âShit,â he groaned, as his legs started to move against the sheets underneath him.
âYou gonna cum, baby?â
As soon as those words left your mouth, he let out a loud whine, his hips jerking a little underneath you as his eyes screwed shut. His chest was heaving as you giggled, a blissful smile playing on his lips before it turned to a frown.
âI canât believe I just did that,â he said, his cheeks flushing a deep shade of crimson as he refused to let his gaze meet yours.
âWhat do you mean?â you questioned, as you glanced down at the wet patch on the front of his sweatpants. âItâs not a bad thing.â
âI just came in my pantsâŚthatâs so embarrassing,â he said, as you ran your hands over his chest. âFuck, when we actually do have sex, itâll probably only last thirty seconds.â
âItâs okay if it does,â you said, as he finally looked at you. âAnd I like that I made you cum just from grinding against you like that. I think itâs hot.â
âReally?â he asked, his smile returning to his lips as you nodded.
âYeah. It felt good for me, too,â you said, as he bit his bottom lip.
Just as he was about to speak again, the door opened as Chad walked on.
âWhoa,â Chad said, covering his eyes with his hand once he noticed you were on top of Ethan.
âWeâre still wearing clothes,â you said, laughing a little as Chad peaked through his fingers to look at you and Ethan.
âI feel like Iâm going to actually walk in on the two of you one day,â he said, sighing as he sat his stuff down.
âHow do you know you didnât just now?â you joked, as Chad snapped his head in your direction again.
âWaitâŚif you guys were going to do it, I can leave,â he said, as he started walking towards the door. âI didnât mean to cock block.â
âWe werenât going to,â Ethan said, as he smirked at you. âBut if you wouldnât mind, I would like a copy of your schedule for whenever we do want to be alone.â
âDude, just text me. I can hang out in the library or something,â Chad said, as Ethan scoffed.
âDo you even know where that is?â
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Can you pretty please write a fic where Logan and Deadpool are having an argument about how they should be fucking the reader, like going over techniques while the reader is just drooling and mindless like âwhaaaâ
hell YEAH i love getting fucked stupid by big strong men >:3333âŹ
this is a rly good prompt btw so i could GLADLY expand on this but for rn hereâs a snippet đ
warning: dp, painal, sadomasochism, mild transphobia, slurs, degradation, overstim, dubcon, daddy kink
anatomical terms: cunt/pussy/bussy
They talk about you like youâre not even there.
Well, physically you were right there with them. Mentally you were nowhere to be found, certainly not on their conversational level. Wade had been bouncing you in his lap for god knows how long. His cock in your cunt had thoroughly fucked your train of thought off the tracks. Your internal monologue was nothing but bitchy whimpers and primal burning for more. Welp. What do you expect? Back to back orgasms will do to that to you. You couldnât even recall how the argument started, and context wouldâve really been helpful.
âWow! Okay! Thatâs a shitty thing to say to our guest! Wanna apologize and maybe try that one again, JK Rowling?â
"Oh, get fucked. That's not what I meant and you know it." Logan kept his firm hands on your shoulders, assisting your bounce, since your legs were damn near liquified.
âMmmmm, ah, gah-fuuuck⌠Wh... Wha? Huh?â
âHow is that not what you meant?" Wade, questioned, maintaining his steel grip on your ass. He felt that he had to protect you from the big bad wolf and his transphobia. "You just said heâs not a real man because he has a pussy. A tight, sweet, JUICY pussy that feels like a fleshlight full of microwaved angel dust. And yet SOMEHOW this makes him not a real man to you? Maybe youâre just not man enough for HIM, sugar-tits!â
"I said you gotta fuck him like a real man. Youâre being too good to him. It's gonna fuel his ego, and Iâm not letting you turn him into a spoiled brat. Fuck him in the ass, that'll teach him a lesson. Show him this shit ain't a joke."
"No way! Ass is ass is ass is ass. Everybody's got an asshole, peanut, and newsflash? They all feel the same. But this boy's pussy? This hot buttery premium A5 wagyu bussy that'sâSQUEEZINGmyfuckingdicksotight, oh, fuck, fuckfuckfuck, angel baby, sweet boy, you feel so GOOD! Making your Daddy feel so good, good boy!"
Praise was easy enough to process. It didn't require any cognitive effort on your part. You didn't have to weigh in and have an opinion, you just have to take it, and be grateful for it. "Hah, fuck! Thankâthank you, Daddy! FUCK! Wade! WadeWadeWadeWadeâWADE! WadeWadeWade..."
But Logan wouldn't let it go. "I'm serious. Make him take it up the ass, or I will."
âUn-be-lievable. You know something? You must be the one guy in this universe who could see a whimsical forest path that leads to a magical unicorn fountain, and says 'Oh, no, none for me. Let me go spelunking in the poop-chute, thank you very much!' And if that's not the single gayest thing I've seen in my entireâ"
"WADE, SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
"Eeep!"
Oh, you poor thing. He nearly gave you a heart attack! It's terrifying when someone yells out of nowhere, especially when that someone has you naked and vulnerable in their hands. Logan had slammed you down on Wade's cock when he yelled, completely stopping the scene and trapping you between them. Woah. Time out. Shit has officially just gotten real. You and Wade held bated breath, and traded a glance that said "We're cooked. Nice knowing ya."
But Logan just laughed at you both. Delighted by the atmospheric tension he had just created.
"Heh... heh heh heh..."
Then he relaxed his grip on you, and those big strong calloused man hands started to explore. They massaged your shoulders, rubbed your neck and jaw, and groped and squeezed wherever they pleased. All the while, his hot breath, tinted with whiskey and malice, ghosted over the shell of your ear as he talked. He spoke very firmly. Targeted. Slow. He wanted you to get every fucking word.
"Listen, bub. Iâm not about to question whether or not youâre a man, okay? But Iâll say this. When real men wanna take cock? It hurts. Oh, it hurts real bad. And most of âem donât get the luxury of a cushy little cunt thatâs meant to take a pounding. No, son. Real men get ripped apart by cock. It makes them cry and scream and sometimes their tiny little rims even bleed because of it. And you know what? They love it. They love how much it hurts them. Cause theyâre men. Strong men. And youâre no fuckinâ better than them, you know that? You think just cause you got another hole that you can take the easy way out? Everything's gonna be peaches and cream, huh? Nuh uh. Not on my watch, you little shit. You wanna act like you're such a fag? Well then youâre getting fucked like one of us too."
âŚ
âŚ
âŚ
âJesus fucking Christ, babycakes, if you donât want him up your ass Iâll GLADLY take the heat for you.â
#anon#ask#deadpool#deadpool x trans reader#deadpool x you#deadpool x reader#deadpool smut#deadpool x ftm reader#deadpool x reader x wolverine#wolverine x trans reader#wolverine x reader#wolverine smut#wolverine#wade wilson x trans reader#wade wilson x you#wade wilson x reader#wade wilson smut#wade wilson#wade wilson x ftm reader#logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett smut#logan howlett x trans reader#logan howlett x you#logan howlett x ftm reader
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guess who made themselves sad because they realized theyâre not creative lol
#whimsy whispers#Iâm bad at writing and most of my ocs are useless and will never have anything done with them#the only reason Cashmere worked as a character was that I played them in a campaign so I wasnât doing all the thinking on my own#I canât actually write a story or do anything interesting and I can barely even make a basic character#I jsut draw them in stiff poses and then never actually do anything with them and itâs very much like whatâs the point#why bother making characters when theyâre useless and just exist in the void?#I very much hate how Iâm bad at things#at this point I feel like I should stop making characters#itâs also part of why I donât even want to draw much anymore because itâs like wow another drawing of a character that just exists for no#reason#just ya know grrrr Iâm dumb and donât like myself or anything I make or try to make#I feel useless and like nothing I make is good#my art is stuff and boring and I havenât liked anything Iâve made in over half a year and everything I try to write is laughable
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ÍÍđđ. ÍMORE THEN JUST FRIENDS ! enha Í Í ÍÍ Íâ Í Í ÍÍÂ Í Í& Í Íđ˘
bsf(?)enha x f!reader. warning. none, kissing in jakeâ + fluff wc.0.9k đ° seiu?!: after a century iâm writing hcs again yayy
â HEESEUNG LEE
letâs you bite him, very weird behavior but he has grown used to it, at first he was all confused as to why you feel the need to bite him like a chew toy but itâs okay your best friend(?) get you now, his biceps nom nom, but due to all this he has bite marks all over him which he is least bothered about but he does get asked if he is dating someone a lot which is confusing because why would people just assume he is dating out of the blue âyn you know i have been asked three times today whether im seeing someone and itâs all because of the bite marks you leave, people would think we are datingâ
âdo you want that to be a realityâ he looks at you with wide eyes âare you hearing yourselfâ â âi am heeseungâ
â JAY PARK
wears your hair tie which very bf coded and i wonder why he hasnât asked you out yet? like which bestie goes around wearing a girls hair tie when he obviously is in the market? wearing it just makes you thing he is taken âdo you love my hair tie that much you canât even return it to me? YOU CANT RETURN MY OWN HAIR TIE TO MEâ shoves a piece of cake in your mouth to shut you up âis it bothering that much, i will buy you moreâ which is weird because why not just return the one he has on his wrist, at this point he just wants be a wife.
âkeeps me away from girls you knowâ oh so now he is just using you as an escape mechanism âkeeps me a step closer to youâ your ears turned red âso you wanna date me?â you ask
âthatâs very multifaceted questionâ you hit his shoulders âbig meanieâ he giggled knowing damn well he is down right bad for you
â JAKE SIM
donât at him but he has kissed you, like a full blown kiss not just a peck, for training purposes right? yes for training purposes so you both donât seem like complete losers with no experience when you start dating someone, you can at least put each others name on the resume âdo you wanna kiss?â
ânoâ jake looked at you with puppy eyes âwhy notâ just because this is not WHAT NORMAL FRIENDS DO MR.HOT AND GENIUS BESTIES âyour breath smells badâ eyes out like that sad hamster on tiktok with violin bg playing âUGH WHATEVERâ you kiss him as he smiles between the kisses, knowing you canât resist him (damn hot mf) âlove ya see you after the matchâ
â SUNGHOON PARK
takes you on dates, and i get that itâs normal but itâs not normal when he is taking you out alone with him every other week to âtreat youâ, because normal friends totally donât eat at a fancy restaurant together or go on a late night drive without romantic feelings like girl who are you kidding? âdonât you ever think all this dates we go to without our other friends who you reject because you only want to be with me is the reason why people think we are datingâ
âyesâ he said cuddling you on his bed âand like this is not normal too you cuddling me, WAIT WHAT YES?â he kissed you forehead âyes but we arenât just friends either you knowâ butterflies
â SUNOO KIM
cuddles all the time, whether it is out, in school or hanging out at each others houses, you both are all up each others, which has been pointed out so many times but sunoo really doesnât care, he would rather feel your soft cheeks next to his than hear people about how this can be a whole scandal and lower the chances of you both getting any partners because people think you both are dating âsunoo can i get some water please iâm dehydratedâ you try to wiggle out of the sofa you both were cuddling ânooo i will be coldâ
âno you wonât be ugh get off me big babyâ you try to push him as he gets up âso now you hate meâ obviously he is faking it but you feel bad âim not iâm sorry sunoo what do you want me to doâ
âdate meâ
â JUNGWON YANG
unusually long eye contact, and not the staring contest kinda way, but a loving and soft way, like he is expressing how much he loves you by staring at you, even when you are not looking at him he is always admiring you, asked at multiple occasions why he was staring at you and he just replies with âcanât i look at my best friendâ like sure so normal for a bestie to look at his bestie with love doe eyes. so the way he looks at you with undivided attention you might think he is listening to everything you are saying but no you got him wrong.
he humming at you talking about some dog you found cute on tiktok but he isnât actually really listening and registering anything you are saying, he too busy admiring your plump lips that he would give anything to kiss right now âand then a blue cat said heya broâ he still looking at you âhmm thatâs coolâ
âYANG JUNGWON YOU ARE NOT LISTENING TO MEâ you said shaking him âi guess not, itâs hard to control myself from kissing you and still listen to you, i canât multitask like thatâ
â RIKI NISHIMURA
has your face as his alternate face lock id, also lets you use his phone, you want his phone real quick okay have it, you want to see through his photos okay have it, you want to use his insta okay use it, the only thing you are off limits is the boys gc because shady business goes down there, people really think you are dating your bestie and how he is the most honest and trustworthy bf ever? like no he has thousands of feet pics in his camera roll and you havenât heard any explanation from him yet? how is he honest.
âyou are going through my dms?â riki asks as you play around with his phone âyeah and if that bothers you donât worry im texting this pretty girl who slide in your dms, soon you would have a cute girlfriend all because of my rizzâ he snatched his phone from your hands âwhat the hell i thought i blocked her? yn why are texting her-â
âwhy? did you get offended? iâm sorry i shouldnât have, no matter how close we areâ he face palms like an old man done with everything âiâm not offended because you texted her, iâm offended at the fact that i have such a dumb friend who canât see i want her more then just friendsâ there star struck arenât you
#enhypen headcanons#enhypen scenarios#jake x reader#niki x reader#sunoo x reader#jungwon x reader#jay x reader#heeseung x reader#sunghoon x reader#sunoo imagines#sunghoon imagines#park jay imagines#sim jake imagine#jungwon imagines#niki imagines#niki scenarios#jungwon scenarios#enhypen imagines#enhypen x reader#heeseung scenarios#enhypen#sunghoon scenarios#enhypen reactions#enhypen oneshots#sunghoon fluff#yang jungwon#niki fluff#can u see how i love riki
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â will they, wonât they.
pairing: hoshina soshiro x gn!reader
premise: hoshina soshiro has been hopelessly in love with you for years now. and for the first time, you finally hear him say the words "i love you."
â warnings: down bad + jealous hoshina, modern setting, reader is a kyudo player.
â author's note: little miss says she's going on a break then proceeds to write about hoshina soshiro for all the dying fans (its me, i'm the dying fans.) art credits to @.BByo_chick on twitter.| ~700 words.
âhow long are ya gonna keep me here?â
âno one is forcing you to.â
hoshina only clicks his tongue and stares at the dojo walls. his finger impatiently tapping at his chin as he hits crossed leg on the floors. itâs half past 5 in the afternoon now and you have no intentions of going home anytime soon.
âiâm gettinâ bored here,â he drawls, hands stretching over his head as he watches you shoot another arrow with pin-point accuracy that makes his smirk twitch uncomfortably. youâve gotten too good at kyudo, and it shows.
âthen go home,â you reply as you pull the bow back and aim for your next shot. âyou donât have to keep waiting for me to finish.â
but that was the thing: hoshina wanted to wait for you and he always will.
he wants everyone to know that you had him and heâs all youâll ever need. there was no need for that guy who caught your fall a few days agoânot when heâs been catching you for the past 3 years. he was your guide in the train station every morning, so why do you keep trying to go to the station earlier and ask your junior for directions? hoshina soshiro was always by your side, so why couldnât you see that?
âiâll wait,â he murmurs into his hand, eyes looking at anything but at you. âgot nothinâ to do at home anyways.â
it was a weak excuse, but it always does the trick. you always relent and let him stay but not without throwing a look over your shoulder that screams âyouâre acting strange.â because he was. hoshina, against his will, feels his lips being tugged into a frown whenever you interact with anyone that isnât him.
that sounds very badâit is bad in a senseâbut hoshina would never dream of taking away your freedom. so he just watches, painfully by the sidelines, with a scoff on his face as another student from a rival school stammers to ask for your number. it was irritating, having to watch everyone throw themselves at you when youâre clearly uninterested.Â
âwhat the hell will happen if iâm not by yer side, captain.â hoshina jests as you pack up your stuff and lock the dojo.
âis this about earlier?â you ask with an amused lilt to your voice. âwhen the new student asked for my number?â
hoshina hated how you always aimed for the heart.
âi have no idea what yer talkinâ about,â he weakly tries to change the topic. hoshina racks his brain to think of somethingâanythingâto help change the conversation, but his mind keeps circling back to you. how you almost looked serious when some guyâwho was leagues below you by the wayâhad the gall to ask you out for a date.
ânever took you for the jealous type.â you tease.
âitâs because âm not.â he said through gritted teeth, hands balling into small fists against his school bag. ââm lookinâ out for ya, alright? that guy was a creep. iâm keepinâ yer ass safe from weirdos.â
you looked unconvinced but didnât comment on his unusual aggressiveness. hoshina let out a frustrated sigh, a hand coming to ruffle your hair and pull just a tiny bit closer that would make everyone question your relationship. this was driving him crazy but he couldnât do anything about it.
ââm not jealous. get that over yer pretty little head.â
and until you both got on the train and went your separate ways to go home, hoshina soshiro never once let your hand drop to your side. he kept you impossibly close to his side and whispered sweet good lucks into your ear. body so comfortably lax in your presence he was slouching on the train seat so he could bury his nose in your hair.Â
hoshina soshiro was so unfathomably in love with you.Â
how could he not love you when you use your own heartbeat to calm his erratic one during every competition? when every hug has his mind spinning with gold and you. every victory is dedicated to your name, and no trophy or medal could ever compare to the feeling of running into your arms and drowning in your praise.
âi love you.â he mutters as you sleep peacefully on his shoulder on your way home. how many years has he been saying it before he lost count? itâs truly just a matter of when youâll wake up and finally realize it yourself.
he feels the blood rush to his brain as he throws himself on his bed, unable to wipe the image of you smiling as if you had heard him.
Š vxnuslogy 2024. do not plagiarize, repost, or translate any of my works without my knowledge or consent in other platforms or websites.
#soshiro hoshina x reader#hoshina soshiro x reader#soshiro hoshina#kaiju no. 8#kaiju no 8 x reader#first kn8 fic kinda nervous#( đĄ ) â royal flush of stories .á
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