#and worry i'd be fired
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made a mistake in my new job of two months and being so so so brave about it
#i sent out a marketing email with the wrong subject line#ordinarily this would make me spiral because#1) lots of people would have seen it#2) it will effect open rates and conversion#and i'd usually cry about it#apologise profusely to the whole team#and worry i'd be fired#but this time i have Chosen to be calm#yeah it's not ideal. but the email is sent and there's nothing i can do about it so i can't worry about it#instead i just logged in and checked the subject line for tomorrow's email and made sure that was right#and i won't say anything unless someone talks to me about it#and at that point i will apologise for getting it wrong (it's my first marketing email workflow!!!)#and reassure them that i already checked the next email#i'm just telling myself it's not a big deal. at least the content of the email was correct#anyway this was long and rambly and boring. back to being a gremlin i guess#effie rambles
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Lorah: Lilac Knight's Love
Artist: @littledashdraws
Wanted to share this commission by Dash, who so lovingly illustrated my vision for Gunter's first wife!! Although Lorah's lived in my head since 2017, this is the first time I've had her drawn. Because I'm so thrilled over this art, I put together a little introduction for her!! you can read more about her below~
Residence: Duet Mountains Occupation: Farmer •❀• Bedside Nurse •❀• Homemaker Birthday: July 11 Gender: Female Relatives: Gunter (Husband) Katerina (Daughter)* Personality: Shy •❀• Bubbly •❀• Optimistic Hobbies: Crafting •❀• Gardening •❀• Baking Age: 21 (when she first meets Gunter) •❀• 36 (at death)
A Nohrian commoner whose known the kingdom's southern mountain range and neighbouring valleys her entire life, Lorah was a recognizable resident of her town even though she kept to herself. Learning the basics of herbal remedies from a young age, she would split her time between tending to the fields and easing the woes of the sick. In adulthood, she would chance upon meeting a Nohrian Great Knight during her town's annual spring festival. The couple's engagement, after seven years of courting, had become one of the most highly anticipated moments amongst the townsfolk.
*NOT the Nohrian Queen. I named their kid before I realized what Xander's mom's name was and by that point I was already ATTACHED (tell me Caterpillar is not the cutest nickname). So now the reason they share a name is lore relevant (which is a part of this fic!).
divider by saradika
#fire emblem fates#feif#fe14#gunter#yeah sure this can go in his tag#fire emblem oc#paranoid over tagging her as an oc cuz. she does exist in canon. but also. canon gave us nothing!#i'd like to consider it free real estate for oc development purposes#also cuz if intsys ever does decide to publish details about gunter's family i would say:#what do you mean. i've been letting his family live rent free in my head for almost a decade.#ANYWAYS YES SHE'S A RED HEAD. who do you think i am. /of course/ im gonna make her a red head.#things about me: gunter i am also attracted to your wife. therefore: she is a red head. case closed.#HER LITTLE COWLICK I LOVE IT SO MUUUUUUUCH#also dash gave me the behind the scenes info that she and Leigh have the same eye colour AHA#sorry gunter you are bound by a cosmic fate to fall in love with a certain eye colour#this will come up in a future fic. im sure. the freckled shoulders are already going to >:3c#oh yes if anyone else is curious. i did in fact sit down and map out a timeline to get her age how i wanted it.#by my calculations gunter would have been ~28. they have approx. 15 years together before everything falls apart#their long courtship is important to me okay#anyways to end this off. MISS LORAH I LOVE YOUUUUU beautiful woman who has been baking in my head for over 7 years.#I am taking good care of your husband don't you worry!! the old man is getting all the love he needs#god I wish she could have seen him as an old man. GOD. I work so hard cuz I'm loving him for her and me!!!!!!#gunter (fates)#lorah (oc)#fef#gunter's family
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#I think there are partners who like me enough that I'm not at risk of being fired (although who knows lmao)#and obviously I don't want to get fired like that would be bad#but also like. glass half full. the instant relief from anxiety would be. unbelievable.#just to have the decision taken out of my hands#and maybe I'd have a whole midlife crisis#buy one way tickets and go eat pray love for a bit#rethink all my life decisions#maybe switch professions who knows. the world would be my oyster.#maybe just lay down in a forest for a bit#...anyway y'all I'm fine don't worry about me
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he does! (aka dedue finally meets his weird neighbour)
addendum to my last post.
hoodie-sleeve is inspired by my friend and also another rando punk I remember from high school. also skunk punk: if you're out there, know that you're immortalized in a fire emblem AU now.
#dimitri alexandre blaiddyd#fe3h#dimitri fire emblem#dedue molinaro#dedue fire emblem#fire emblem#spx fanart#spx digishit#spx chicken scratch#spx femblem#spx art#dimitri definitely keeps a crowbar tucked into the inner pocket of that jacket#that hood and sleeve are pinned there's no hoodie under there don't worry we stay scantily clad here#I'd sooner end it thatn draw anything consistently saaaawrry ANYWAY the nerves in my hand are getting real fucking annoying tchh#the patch on his ass is MDC yes
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Being a writer can mean worrying you have to caveat certain activities, like adding '(for research)' after googling 'anthrax reaction in humans' or telling family members 'I promise I'm not planning to murder you' before asking them to make sure they've safeguarded their bank and bill paying passwords for emergencies.
#this brought to you by my realization i don't have access to the stuff my husband uses to pay the household bills#and imagining how I'd broach that subject#'hey sweetie not to make you fear for your life but can you show me all the utility bill schedules just in case?'#'our home insurance covers fires right?' 'uh... why?' 'I just... got worried all of a sudden for no reason!'#*closes tab with a fragment of story that includes a house fire*#we don't have family pictures up on the walls either#if someone dies i'm absolutely COOKED#i suppose premeditated murderers probably could add a parenthetical like that to defray suspicion though#darsy's cinematic life
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posting here bc theres less ppl following me on this blog compared to main FDJSKL but it is thundering (and therefore lightning is striking as well) currently and we've been in an intense heatwave and there's evac alerts and orders all around the area and i've just kind of been like 🧍♂️ for the past couple weeks trying to be chill about it bc this is the fourth or fifth year in a row of this so i am somewhat used to it but also aough :( also now i have an expensive drawing tablet that i would not be able to buy a new one of so i am trying to figure out if i should include it in my grab-n-go evac bag... its so big though and would take up so much room but RRRGHHH I DUNNO i hate these sorts of decisions 😭😭😭
#i'll have to see what all i have room for SIGH.#maybe i'll put it on the secondary non-necessities list#i need to check that my evac lists are up to date actually SIGHHH i'll have to do that all tonight just in case a fire starts w this storm#okay wait actually i just checked the price of the tablet online and its a little under 300 smackaroos (cad not usd)#which isn't as high as i thought it was. i still do not rly think i would be able to justify buying a new one though lol#it will most likely all be okay btw! do not worry!#even if we have to evacuate i dont think our house is in a spot that would get burned down very easily#just with the way the geography of the town is set up fdsjkl i've thought about this extensively and looked into how wildfires work#i've had fourish years of worrying to figure it out LMAO#but i'd like to just like. make sure. take precautions and whatnot#better safe than sorry and all that sort of thing#vent //#dandy.cmd
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they should invent holding that isn't uncomfortable and doesn't fuck with your bladder health and maybe then i'd fuck around with it a bit
#jack.txt#um not to piss post. i've been finding it kinda hot though#in a perfect world i'd try doing a funny little hold but it is so fucking uncomfortable#and i get so so worried about accidentally doing damage to my body somehow#anyway im drinking a pleasant little sodie pop which inspired this post bc lord knows this'll make me piss like a fire hydrant later
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During our multiplayer playthrough, we decided to split companions we were going to work on getting approval with. So I took Astarion, Karlach, and Lae'zel, because I love them, while my partner took care of Shadowheart, Gale, and Wyll. This ultimately led to me sweating during the tiefling party, because all my chosen companions were trying to eat my character alive. I mean, I should've realised that I built Team Horny, but somehow I managed to get caught off guard during the party. In my defence, it'd never happened to me before that all three of them tried to seduce my character at once, during the same night, but of course it had to happen in multiplayer...
And you know who I then decided to "adopt" later in the game when we got more companions? Halsin. I'm sensing a pattern in my decisions - can't quite put my finger on it. Then again, I've got plans for Halsin.
The irresistible menace in question:
#I'd never had Karlach propose like that until then???#she always either gave me the dialogue about seeing stars by the fire#or she questioned my romance choices during the party without trying to butt in#but then she just invited my barbarian and really TRIED to chat her up#so after agreeing to spend the night with Astarion and surviving Lae'zel's attempt to seduce her#Karlach did this and I was there like 😳😳😳 'you too?'#quite later I found out that Karlach sometimes seems to do this when you already have a date - but not always#it's a bit of a mystery to me#Karlach don't worry#I have another character already planned for you in my head#Baldur's Gate 3#BG3
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oh my god kalinda sharma actually is in love with alicia florrick isn't she
#'alicia. it's about alicia. that's what you care about.'#ahhhhhhhhhhh! reader i gasped.#and all of this right after alicia's (correct) surmising that if they'd known each other in their pasts they would have hated each other#which alicia said specifically bc *alicia* was different#in response to kalinda's wistful 'i wish i'd known you then'#bc of course it's actually about kalinda and kalinda's past#anyway hello i'm on another new-to-me old lawyer show#don't worry i know how this one ends i'm not getting overinvested but i am gonna enjoy the ride while it lasts#i'm already seeing all the ways their reconciliation could have been so narratively good and i'm preemptively *sighs* about it#anyway sorry 2 all of us that apparently archie panjabi and julianna marguiles didn't like each other bc their characters are *fire emoji*#amy watches tgw
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I really don't know if I can keep doing this job. All the crap I was most afraid of when I was getting my degree that would make me hate doing the job didn't bother me much for the first year or so but now I feel like I'm dying every time I have to come in here and chase people down for important shit that's missing or incorrect that needs to be fixed before I can pay something and I genuinely don't know what to do about it. I feel like I don't really have any other options than to continue working the job I have but I also want to die for the first time in like a decade
#just keep telling myself dont even worry if its done well or done right#does it even really matter does anyone else care#do it slow do it weak do it lost and dead inside and dont worry about it#no one's life depends on it even though people make it feel like that#i just have to do enough to get to the next day#and hope it's enough that i dont get fired#ive got bills to pay and i really dont want to go job hunting when i know i'd probably end up with something that doesnt pay as much#and it probably wouldnt be any more rewarding or any less difficult than what i already do#but i can rationalize and logic at myself all day the bottom line is i hate this and i dont wanna do it and i need a break so bad
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Can I talk about endgame OoF stuff, guys I'm dying to talk about end game OoF stuff
#i will rotate shore and grillby over a lovely fire til they're cooked#ugh i want to talk so bad about stuff#no worries we still have at least...hmm I'd say 10ish chapters til the end? roughly
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"yeah, well, enjoy it while it lasts" [crawling out of the wreckage of this episode] thanks for the advice tommy i really did
#911 spoilers#911 lb#nat.txt#i do think tommy's like. kneejerk pessimism/cynicism is so interesting! no need to worry about getting fired we're all gonna die#yeah it's great we got a medal let's enjoy it while it lasts#buck's sunshine optimism and unwillingness to put down any battles i think is going to be so good for him and his soul#and i think it'll make him indulge those things in buck where other previous partners maybe haven't as much!#i don't necessarily think he's an inherently pessimistic/cynical character but i think that's how he self-protects. like the closet comment#which makes sense! given his professional history that we've just seen on-screen it's like. yeah i'd be cynical as a defense mechanism too#''he's a side character / love interest / plot device!!'' not to me he isn't!!! he's my new friend
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i feel assured in the fact that i wanna go to therapy before making a big lifestyle decision/change. like i'm batshit crazy and deusional but i'm not kooky enough to just doowop and do it NOW
#my post#i mean i COULD#maybe#if i were willing to rough it#but i'd prefer not to rough it so. we make sure i'm less insane before i do anything#the problem is just finding a therapist#i worry about it because of money obviously but also like#what if i get fired by them 😭 i honestly feel like i'm just so fucked up in the head right now i'd need a mfer who has the big guns#like i'm sure this counselor is great but how're they gonna react when my problems go beyond bein kinda sad sometimes#idk i just kinda feel like i've reached a boiling point and something's GOTTA happen but i wanna be in a better state of mind#anyways i got violently stoned and was spiraling into the depths of despair
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Will say, while Netflix is a shit company and the advertising campaign is annoying (and triggering to some), it's not crossing any picket lines. If any of the writers or actors promote the work and are part of the unions, that's crossing the line. Anyone else part of the production are not part though they can show support for the strike. (I'm a little peeved about the misinformation but also dreading any I might see when the show I'm working on airs next month (and hopefully gets more promotion before then cuz the team worked their asses off on it))
Ugh, I'm getting so many ping-ponging updates concerning the whole thing of what is/isn't picket crossing.
At this point I'm just not going to touch anything in either direction beyond 'pirate clown is annoying.'
Fingers crossed for your stuff 🍀
#I'm so tired#and so used to companies/corporations doing underhanded borderline illegal bullshit#that it's become second nature to just assume 'Yep. They're being assholes again.'#which is lazy of me#but I'd also appreciate folks not adding fuel to invented trash fires when there're already conflagrations to worry about
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actually, you know what ? im glad my ex gf ghosted me, i dodged a bullet it seems
#this was two years ago and just a few months ago i started getting over it#on the one hand yeah it fucking SUCKS i wish i had had some type of warning instead of radio silence suddently from one day to the other#on the other i was ready to move to texas (me: poc queer fem presenting nd bitch) and was looking seriously jobs over there#and like- i fucking HATE the usa but she was really scared about leaving the states to come to europe- so i was willingly to travel there to#be with her and not put her through that (ive been traveling since childhood so im used to it- but she has certain mental stuff going on and#taking her away from her family and her childhood city was going to be really tough- of course i'd sacrifice my life for hers)#and like im so sorry to everybody who is stuck in the usa right now bcs ur country is treating yall so poorly i feel genuinely bad#but as someone who was planninh to work over there as a teacher..... IM SO FUCKING GLAD I DONT HAVE TO SET FOOT THERE 😭#every single thing i hear about the education system there seems hellish- as well as the teachers' conditions and wages#like over here its not all rainbows and flowers but at least i dont have to worry about school shootings or getting fired for recommending#books from a banned list 💀#ESPECIALLY as a poc latino queer linguistics and literature teacher- i'd love to talk to students about a big range of things- i cannot#imagine having to censor myself or dance around a subject becs “kids are too dumb to understand queerness” “youre trying to groom them”#“dont brainwash em you commie” like ma'am im trying to help your child develop basic empathy and respect for those who dont look like them#like i hear some serious worrying stuff from teachers over there i hope u guys are holding up somehow 😭😭😭#anyways idk how the phrase in english goes but in spanish we say cuando dios cierra una puerta- abre una ventana#(<- trying to look for the positive in getting ghosted by the girl of their dreams)#its fine guys anyways#yeah that was the first LD relationship ive ever had- never trying that again#also i found out im arospec so im definitely not getting into a romantic relationship lmfaoooooo#only QPRs for me now if anything lol#vanya strawberry flavored
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If anyone needs a reminder that nobody remembers you embarrassing yourself in public today, I was at a certain public attraction today, tripped over my bag on the way to the toilets, when caused the employee I had just asked if there were toilets to laugh and say "no need to rush!"
Five minutes later I walk out of the bathroom to find I'd been locked in the building and had to shout and wave at the employees as they walked away so I didn't get locked in overnight
#day rambles#today has been wild. I'm running on like 1-2 hours of sleep and very little food#i am literally sitting in a restaurant eating rn though do not worry!#but yeah. if I'd spent five more minutes in the bathroom it would have probably been either breaking out of the fire exit#or calling the local emergency services
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