#and will basically give em away for free if you pm me

[kiiingsnake]

my cool & neat & hopefully reasonably priced hatchlings. and also my whole fr account

[a-aexotic]

detention and the picture of dorian gray. | s.b

pair: f!reader x stanley barber

warnings: language, the word "slut" being used, mentions of food, weed in use. word count: 1.8k summary: y/n gets detention because she refused to change into something else. she then meet stanley barber, the king of breaking uniform himself.

a/n: big thanks to liane my love for helping me with this fic 😩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 (@amourtentiaa). tags: @nothinghcppens @eunoniaa @isolemnlyswearpevensie @aspiringsloth20 @thatslovelymoony @amourtentiaa @vsawyer1989 @fives-cup-of-coffee

Y/N SAT QUIETLY IN MRS. JEFFERSON'S ENGLISH CLASS AS SHE PLAYED WITH THE EDGE OF HER SKIRT. she had gotten this plaid skirt from her aunt the other day. she usually doesn't go for skirts but this skirt just looked too cute to pass on.

she let out a yawn, glancing at the clock. she moved her gaze to her friend syd with a small smile. the girls were planning on getting milkshakes after school, and y/n was excited to leave school.

the bell rung and y/n got up as fast as she could, grabbing her backpack and pencil, heading for the door. syd was taking her time gathering her stuff, so y/n got to the door faster than her.

"ms. l/n, you know that skirt is against dress code?" mrs. jefferson eyed y/n, judgement in her expression. y/n narrowed her eyes on the teacher, knitting her eyebrows.

"since when are skirts against dress code?" y/n replied coolly, as syd let out a small chuckle.

mrs. jefferson's eyes widened as she got up. "it's short. a distraction, if you will. you should try wearing something modest. i'll get you a slip so you can call your mother-"

"excuse me? modest? well sorry to break it to you, mrs. jefferson, modest isn't-"

"how dare you interrupt me? detention!" mrs. jefferson bickered as y/n rolled her eyes, as syd watched in amusement. the teacher gave her a slip, and watched as the girls walked out.

"whatever, and i'm not changing." y/n rolled her eyes in annoyance as her and syd walked down the hallway to their next class.

Y/N WALKED IN THE GYM WITH CROSSED ARMS AND A PINCHED EXPRESSION. she saw there was only two other people there - stanley barber (the king of breaking dress code) and jenny tuffield. she was a few minutes late, but she needed to use the restroom.

she sat down near stanley with a huff and put her backpack directly next to her. she tapped her foot as she waited for something to happen, for someone to talk.

jenny finally sighed and faced the two. "so, why're you both here? you seem like . . . goody two shoes."

y/n narrowed her eyes on the girl, "mrs. jefferson called me a slut, basically."

"a slut?" stanley choked out with a laugh, causing the girls to glare at him. "w-why? you're not a slut,"

"because my skirt is short." y/n let out a groan, and rolled her eyes at the mere thought of mrs. jefferson calling her skirt short. it wasn't short! and plus, she has shorts under it anyway.

"yeah mrs. jefferson is a sour old bitch who was way to much free time on her hands." jenny nods in agreement with another loud sigh, laying her head on the bench behind her. "what about you?"

"um, didn't do my homework," stanley said as y/n nodded along to his words.

"well, that sucks." y/n states as she gave him a small smile. she expected him to might've broken dress code or something, but it was something else.

the principal walked into the gym with a angry expression, as if to scare them. jenny didn't move her, instead she stared at the principal.

"you kids are here today because you disrespected teachers," he eyed y/n. "or didn't do what you were supposed to do. you are to clean this whole gym. and i will be checking it after." he seemed done with our bullshit, so he sighed and left the gym, "don't fool around, i will know."

"he doesn't actually check, i've been in detention a million times and i haven't done a single thing." jenny whispered with a smirk, turning her body to face us. "so . . ."

"so," stanley echoed, looking around the gym. y/n was not going to clean the entire gym, but the others didn't seem like they wanted to talk at all. she took out a book for her reading class, opening it. stanley took out a rubik's cube.

jenny yawned and took her bag, getting up and walking to the bathroom. stanley glanced at y/n with an interest etched in his expression. "what are you reading?"

y/n turned her head to stanley, "um, the picture of dorian gray. it's for mr. white's class."

stanley nodded with a smile. "do you like it? what page are you on?" he moved closer to y/n, looking onto the book with her.

"192, i'm pretty much in the middle. it's nice, but i probably wouldn't read it on my own. i don't read the classics unless i have to, i prefer modern romance - or like, greek mythology."

"oh, that's nice. i like comics more than books, i don't think i have a good enough attention span to read an actual book, y'know?" stanley spoke as y/n nodded along.

"same here, i guess it depends on the book." y/n smiled. "do you think the principle will actually come check on us?"

stanley shook his head, "uhh, no! why would he? plus, i'm sure jenny was right. who'd take the time out of their day . . . and use it to check if a bunch of kids cleaned an entire gym?"

y/n laughed as stanley smiled. "you're right." an awkward silence fell between the two as they looked around the gym. y/n decided she needed to use the restroom, so she put the bookmark in the book and got up. "bathroom,"

stanley smiled awkwardly and nodded. "u-uhh, have fun!"

y/n laughed and nodded, walking down the stands and walking to the door. she opened the heavy door, walking into the bathroom. she looked for any sign of jenny after a few seconds of silence, but there was no sign.

y/n scoffed, "bitch!" she quickly washed her hands before walking out of the bathroom. stanley was laying on the bench, playing with the rubik's cube.

"stanley, jenny left!" y/n crossed her arms walking up to the boy. stanley sat up, scoffing. "should we . . . ditch too? i mean, jenny did. why shouldn't we?"

"yeah, sure," stanley breathed out. he took his backpack, and gave y/n's hers. he grabbed her book, handing it to her. "where are we going?"

y/n smiled as she took the book and put the book in her backpack. "we should get milkshakes, at that diner."

stanley nodded and got up from the stands. "okay, let's go!"

y/n let out a laugh, walking beside stanley.

THEY WERE FINALLY ON THE MAIN ROAD, WALKING TO THE DINER. y/n lead the way, as stan was a few steps behind. "don't you have a car, stanley?"

he nodded, "i didn't drive it here today. my dad's home, so -"

"oh," y/n nodded knowingly. "you don't have a good relationship with your dad?" this was definitely not something you ask when you first meet someone, but if the shoe fits, the shoe fits.

he walked next to y/n, "yeah nope. i hate him." he paused, "well i don't really hate him, he's my dad. you can't ever really hate your dad, y'know?"

y/n nodded. "makes sense. dads aren't too great, if we're being honest."

he laughed with a nod, "yup, they suck. dads, who needs 'em?"

"yeah, as long as you have a good few friends and a good hangout place, you're good to go. that's what my aunt says," y/n smiled as stanley nods.

"well, she's right." stanley says with as he looked ahead. "i like your skirt, it isn't slutty. it's cute,"

y/n's face went red as she awkwardly laughed, "thanks. i like your jacket,"

he faced her with a smile, "thanks. i found it at the thrift store . . . pretty sure it's like, older than my grandpa. but i washed it! so we're all good."

"vintage and hand me down clothing is cuter, if we're being honest. if it has history, it's better." y/n spoke as stanley nodded along.

"yeah," stanley agreed as he took out a tin with weed, taking one out and offering one to her. "want one?"

y/n has never had weed before, and she's never thought she'd ever agree to smoke . . . especially in public. she nodded and took it from his hand. "i've never smoked weed before, i've vaped before-"

"vaping is nothing like weed, y/n. it is amazing," stanley winked at the girl, giving her a lighter. "do you know how?"

"you just inhale and exhale, right?" y/n whispered as she looked the weed.

"let me do it first," stanley says as you handed it back to him. he placed it in his mouth, and lit it slowly. he inhaled and took it out, and slowly blew it out. "here,"

y/n takes it and copies his actions - inhaling and slowly exhaling. she coughed out loudly, as stanley laughed loudly. "how'd i do?" y/n coughed out.

"you did good, uh, for your first time." stanley smiled as y/n rolled her eyes playfully.

"just say i did horribly and get it over with," y/n said in a joking manner as stanley shook his head.

"you did good! i promise," stanley laughed. "you want some more?" he took a long draw before handing her the blunt. she nodded, taking it. she a small draw, and this time she didn't cough as hard. "now that one, was good."

"i thought my first one was good!" y/n laughed loudly as stanley smiles.

"that one was better!" stanley spoke as she nodded. she handed him the blunt, and he took another draw. "you didn't cough, that's good."

they went back and forth with it, and soon enough, they were on their forth blunt and were very high. they decided not to go to the diner, but instead, a park.

it was around 6 pm, and they were on a bench. stanley had his head on y/n's shoulder as they talked. "so, you're dad's like . . . gone most of the time?"

he nodded. "yup, it's all good until he decides he wants to come home."

"i'm really sorry, stan. your dad doesn't deserve you,"

he looked up at her from her shoulder. "yeah, i can't wait til i can go to college, away from him. it'll be the best day of my life." y/n nodded, as they kept looking up at they sun setting. "hey y/n, do you . . . do you think there's like, a genuine meaning to life?"

"maybe. i-i don't think there is a genuine meaning to life." she paused as stanley looked up at her. "i think you have to create your meaning. if you think about it, nothing ever matters until you make it matter. your life can have a million meanings or one. it's your life, only yours."

she looked down at stan, "what do you think?"

"i think you're high off your mind right now, y/n. but uh, that was beautiful." he laughed as y/n scoffed.

"thank you,"

"we should get going, now." stanley sighed as he lifted his head from her shoulder. "let me walk you home."

"yeah," she sighed as she got up. "want some perfume? because uh, we smell like weed,"

he laughed. "nope, i'm fine. my dad'll think i have a girlfriend or something."

y/n smiled as they started walking. "we should hang out more."

he nodded, "sure. let's do that."

[daydreamingintheimpalax]

Global Warming

Prompt: “You must be the reason for global warming because you’re hot.” “Actually, it’s primarily because of too much carbon dioxide in the atmosphere.”

Warnings: Um, cuteness, I think that's about it lol

Dean X Reader, Highschool AU. 

Just a cute random fic. Some Nervous Dean because it's nice to see him out of his element once in a while xD

Dean sat at the library table across from his brother, he was supposed to be studying for his English test but he couldn't help but get distracted. You were sitting a few tables away, concentrated hard on your work, biting your lip once in a while when you wrote something down. 

He'd been crushing on you ever since they stopped in this town a few months ago and he'd seen you that first week in the halls. Your locker wasn't far from his and you definitely weren't the type he normally went for but he couldn't help himself, you were gorgeous, smart, and way out of his league. 

Despite his brothers faith in him, Dean really didn't consider himself smart, he hardly paid attention in school and he hated sitting in a desk all day, but if you asked him to fix something, he'd have in done in ten minutes flat, Sam had always been the book smart type, Dean considered himself better with his hands. He learned by doing and he felt he wasn't good enough to catch the attention of someone like you. 

You were hella smart, maybe even more than his little brother, you were on the honor roll, and Dean didn't know if he'd even be in this town long enough to even pursue something with you, he knew you wouldn't be a fling type of girl, girls like you, they were for guys who could promise a commitment, a future, with all the moving around they did, Dean knew it was a long shot, but he had to at least talk to you, if he could cough up the nerve to try. Why the hell did you make him so nervous? He'd flirted with plenty of women, bedded a lot too, but you seemed to be the only girl that made him second guess his own charm. 

“Will you just go talk to her, I can't concentrate on my homework with you gawking at her like a dumbass.” Sam sighs, rolling his eyes. Dean shoots him a look, before whispering out. 

“And say what Sammy huh?” He begins to talk in a mock voice. “Oh hey y/n, whatcha reading? Oh physics that sounds so interesting! I know nothing about that subject!” He whisper shouts, rolling his eyes. “She’s out of my league man, and I’ll admit that I don't know what to say to her, I'm not in my element with her, she's too smart for me.” He shrugs and Sam Huff's at his brothers sudden lack of confidence. 

“She’s actually pretty cool, she doesn't judge, just go up and say hi, make some conversation, you're good with girls.” Sam shrugs. 

“Yeah, girls who are airheads, give em a cheesy pick up line and they're all giggly and squealy. I highly doubt y/n will be that easy.” Dean scratches the back of his neck, he watches as you get up, picking another book of the shelf. You bite down on your pencil before sitting back at your spot, you look around for a second and catch his eye, you give him a soft smile and he turns back to Sam, why the hell is he being so ridiculous. 

“Just go, go talk to her. You'll be fine.” Sam gives his brother a shove, nearly pushing him off his chair. Dean clears his throat, standing up and making sure the collar of his shirt looks okay. He makes his way over to you and you don't quite look away from your book. 

Before he can stop himself, the stupidity flows through his mouth before he can acknowledge what the fuck he just said. He's such a fucking dumbass. 

Dean Winchester was the hottest guy in your grade, you'd be lying if you didn't think so, every girl in senior grade thought so. He was hot, funny, smarter than he looked and though he wasn't the most studious, you couldn't help admire him from afar. Guys like him didn't pay attention to you. 

He'd been sitting with his brother for the last hour and sometimes you could feel him looking over at you. Maybe he needed help with his homework, most of the jocks in school would try to pay you for help, or more so, to do the work for them. You declined Everytime and you weren't about to change that for Dean, no matter how pretty his smile was. 

You picked another book off the shelf, trying to find more info for your physics paper, it was due in two weeks and you wanted to be as well read as possible, as you head back to your table you make eye contact with the older Winchester, you smile shyly and he turns so quick you would've thought he snapped his neck. Of course, guys like him don't pay attention to you. 

You decide to just ignore it, going back to your paper and before you know what's happening he's standing at your table. You refuse to look up, worried you might turn a bright shade of red that you'd never recover from. You barely notice when he speaks, lost in your own thoughts.

“You must be the reason for global warming because you’re hot.” He speaks, and you look up to see he's slightly unsure of himself. Before you can even realize what you're saying you pipe up.

“Actually, it’s primarily because of too much carbon dioxide in the atmosphere.” You frown, watching as a confused look crosses his face. He had no idea what you just said.

You mentally kicked yourself,  now he was never going to fucking talk to you ever again. Why the fuck did you have to be such a loser all the time. You look back down at your book, embarrassed at the fact you just basically shot down his pick up line. Was he flirting? You never could tell if guys were flirting or trying to get you to do their homework. That's the only time guys this hot spoke to you after all.

He chuckles, biting his lip and it has you blushing deeply. He taps his knuckles softly on the table before speaking again. 

“You're not very good at this flirting thing are you?” He asks and you look up at him, putting your pencil behind your ear. 

“Oh, is that what you were doing? Sorry. I'm not used to guys flirting with me unless they want their homework done.” You shrug, standing to put one of your books back. He follows, staying a decent amount of distance away, but close enough to make you shiver. 

“Really? That's a shame, you're beautiful, you deserve to be flirted with.” He smiles, you meet his eyes and raise an eyebrow. “Do you want something? I kinda have a paper due and I need to focus on my research.” You speak softly. 

Dean clears his throat nervously but speaks up, finally getting the right words out. “I uh, I was wondering if you were busy this weekend? There's some movies playing at the drive in, I thought I could take you to one.” He half shrugs and you see he's slightly nervous. Why would Dean Winchester be nervous. 

“That’s where all the jocks and cheerleaders go to have sex.” You raise an eyebrow and Dean blushes, he's actually blushing.

 “I can promise you there will be no sex, I just want to take you out, you know, on a, a date.” He huffs out a breathy chuckle. “I mean, unless you want to have sex, which is fine too, but if not that's cool, we can go to an arcade instead, do you like games...i’m pretty good at pool, and um air hockey or we can go bowling if you prefer, totally your choice..” He rambles and your eyes go wide. 

“Oh my God Winchester shut up! Are you always this chatty?” You ask, amused at the fact this hot guy is a complete nervous wreck. He stops, swallows and then smiles. 

“Sorry, you kinda um, you make me nervous.” He shrugs, no shame admitting it. You frown, “Me? Why? You're Dean Winchester, you can have any girl you want, infact, I'm pretty sure you can have any girl in our senior glass easily.” You laugh, tucking your hair behind you ear. 

He shrugs, smiling sweetly at you, “I don't want easy, I like you, and you're way out of my league and it makes me nervous, but I like you, and I want to take you on a date.” He stands there, hands tucked into his pockets. 

“You really think I'm out of your league? I mean, if anything I'm the one who's nowhere near your league, you could do so much better.” You shrug, not believing he thinks your out of his league, that's funny.

He shakes his head, frowning, “No, I can't. You're smart, pretty, kind, and those are good qualities, not every girl can offer all those at once, I like that you're more than just some airhead cheerleader, I like a girl who can offer good conversation.” He smiles and you smirk at him. 

“There’a a good chance if you take me out, I'll talk your ear off, and I'm not promising to have sex with you.” You raise and eyebrow and he smiles widely. 

“I’m not expecting you to. If you want to talk, talk, I'll happily listen to anything you say.” He nibbles on his own lip, a slight red tint to his cheeks. 

You let out a huff of breath, “Alright Winchester, Drive in sounds good, I’m free tomorrow after 5 pm.” You look up from your book, looking at him from under your lashes.

He smiles, nodding and running a hand over his face. “Okay, yeah, yes, that works, I can work with that, I'll uh, I'll pick you up around 6, we can get some burgers first.” He nods, smiling when you give him a nod, letting him know you agree. 

You watch as he says he'll see you tomorrow and walks back to his table where his little brother still sits, you chuckle when he suddenly forgets you're still there and high gives his brother. The younger boy rolling his eyes and his brothers excitement. 

You and a date with Dean Winchester, and you had no idea what the hell to wear. 

[sveasauvageon]

Ce qu'il a donné Un an, deux ans, cent ans de bonheur Puis la vie te cueille comme une fleur || GW

☾♔; March 5, 2018 ☾♔; sotd: Котик by Alexander Rybak   ☾♔; comedian otd: JOHN OLIVER   ☾♔; GW To do list ☾♔; {G} https://goo.gl/XSTtMc ☾♔; mod(s): @themadmonarchist @maybones et moi

Title: lyrics from "Requiem" by Alma

--featured not-mine oc's - Eloise Avery | @themadmonarchist - Minah Delacroix | @maybones (see what I did there with the Serena and Blair positioning? -eyebrow wriggle thing-)

- - - x - - -

Updated GW to-do list: - Division of labour (we should really start saying when one of us starts working on something because otherwise we'll end up with redundancies since we think disturbingly alike) - the "chuck" problem: okay, tbh, it's more of an Ed Westwick problem than a chuck one. I don't know how you guys have reacted to the me too and time's up movements, but mine has been to cut all those men out of my sphere of entertainment, I even cut out "witch hunt", "not all men" type dudes, and "only fondled their breasts on tv and apologized for it" men (aka Ben Affleck), because time is up for all of you! Soz, not point, but since last October, Ed Westwick has been caught up in this, and thus far 3 women have accused him of ra.pe and a fourth of sexual misconduct. Now, I know it's not Chuck's fault that his portrayer is a ra.pist (allegedly), but there is still an issue with including his face, etc in aesthetics and gossip girl material because his face is that of a ra.pist's (allegedly). Tbh, I wanna leave him (Ed Westwick) out of material and only discuss Chuck and avoid showing his face or use a dreamcast instead, but like, I dunno what you guys wanna do. Chuck is a great character, although, early on, he was quite rap.ey, the character, and it does not help that his portrayer has since been revealed to be a ra.pist. Allegedly.

- also, going back up to the redundancy issues, I love both of your aesthetic collections and playlists, so for those, I was thinking for playlist, we should make one big playlist on spotify that's collaborative, so that everyone can add their music and it'll kind of be a huge explosion of musical tastes. But also, maybe have a collection that has a link on the group info for individual playlists for characters, and the group made by us and/or others. For aesthetic collections, basically the same idea with one big collaborative collection, and then that collection will have links to other collections (yes, I'm a little ocd).

- also, also, this is completely unrelated, but I was watching trevor noah's show and he made a joke about how much trump's male employees snitch and gossip like sht, but the woman haven't revealed squat. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpmlVWFTW8A) It's really funny, and honestly, stupid people fcking up in trump's circle very publically is basically what's keeping me alive. It's just hilarious how stupid some of these people are. ___________________________ Another Update (I'll leave those up until @maybones weighs in on them)

I was working on a draft of the group description to show you guys, and I was using a template of one of my old groups and rewriting stuff and changing it to suit our purposes and I realized how many freaking rules I have (I'm so picky), anyway, some of this stuff obvs won't be applicable (like, there's one about characters dying and I don't think we were planning on going that dark. although, serena was an accessory and chuck kind of killed his dad, so meh, maybe?) anyway, I wanted your opinions on what rules to keep and/or change:

✠ RULES AND GUIDELINES {GENERAL} ✠

I. Please be kind to each other. Your characters can be total jerks, but let us, the creators and/or writers be kind, polite, and respectful (aka, channel your inner Canadian guys). There will be absolutely ZERO tolerance of discrimination. You will be immediately removed from the group, and your actions will be documented and reported. PM me immediately if someone harasses you or you notice harassment between members. ⠀⠀Ia. If you want to be anonymous, for any reason, you can send in your complaints here {https://goo.gl/kbTXeU}, it's a google form, and it doesn't ask you verify your email, and the username option, is just an option, it's not required. If I need to make further contact/information from you regarding your concern, I'll make a group announcement vaguely describing your issue, and you can send in further information anonymously again. I'll be checking the form at least once a week.  

⠀II. I'm not giving this any specific rating, however, I will say, you're free to include whatever "adult" content you want, whether it be swears, gore, or the dirty stuff (I'm totally a mature, grown up adult guys). However, do be careful of polyvore's stupid censors, use workarounds like writing your story in google docs, or accents for swear words.  

⠀III. This is a non-elimination group,  but characters can die. It may be used for inactive members, or if you wanna kill 'em off or maybe revive as a ghost or something else. Permission will always be asked of the creator first (with the exception of characters belonging to inactive members, whose characters may be killed off as penalty).  

⠀IV. If you miss 3 consecutive contests (without informing me), you'll receive an "x", "|" will be used to break up non-consecutively missed contests, anyway, if you miss 3 in a row, that will open your character to be killed by either myself or other group members. You will be notified, but your permission will not be asked. If you wish to rejoin at a later date, and you character has not been killed off, simply pm me and continue with whatever contest is in progress. If your character has been killed off, you can re-audition with a new one, and I will transfer your points to your new character.

⠀V. Always pm me, your vodka aunt mod, if you feel you'll be unable to enter a contest, your reason doesn't matter. Just let me know you can't get your entry in, that way you won't receive an "X".

⠀VI. Plotting will be left open throughout the group, however, please establish a few of these before contests begin, and always ask permission when using someone else's character(s) and be sure to tag them in your sets. Please, PLEASE work with others, I hate when people just do their own thing in oc battle groups, this is a collaborative story, everyone's stories and ideas matter. I will call you out if I notice something that contradicts the connected story, and I will always, ALWAYS incorporate the stories of group members into the overall narrative. ⠀⠀VIa. Narrative precedence will always be given to the person who completely finishes the description of their set first.

⠀VII. There is not a list of roles to pick from, you can create whatever roles you want, however, I may ask you to change it if I feel your character may become "villager number 6" and not fit in with the action. Rules, regulations, and suggestions for roles can be found here: [placeholder].

⠀VIII. Always be sure to tag the member's when you use their characters and give credit where credit is due.

⠀IX. Plagiarism will not be tolerated and you will be removed and reported. If you're inspired by someone else's work, credit them, otherwise you're stealing.

⠀X. Sets unrelated to the group will be removed.

⠀XI. You will NOT be required to write out a full story. Story portions can be answered in paragraphs, but full stories are always welcome and appreciated.  

⠀XII. Do not use templates for contest entries unless otherwise stated.

⠀XIII. Always feel free to contact me with any and all questions, and/or suggestions. You can also send them through the anonymous complaints form, found here: https://goo.gl/kbTXeU

_________________________________

✠ RULES AND REGULATIONS {FACECLAIMS} ✠

I'm quite picky about these, but I'm not gonna be pedantic about it this time. You do you. Having said that, there are still some rules and regulations, as well as a challenge.

⠀I. All faceclaims must be above the age of majority (that's 18+ nearly universally on the planet), there is an exception for child characters but all main OCs must be at least 18.

⠀II. All faceclaims MUST be professionals. They can be actors, models, even singers. However, they must be singers of some note signed onto a label company, like Taylor Swift, or my beloved Dima Bilan (who's also an actor. a good one. yes, I'm bragging). Your faceclaim CANNOT be someone insta-famous, youtubers, or tumblr tweens.

⠀III. Whilst I'm not going to reject any faceclaim on the pedantic basis of "I don't like them", there are some faceclaims that I will and for one reason, and one reason only. Sexual misconduct of any and all kinds. Hollywood and the media are finally cleaning house, and I don't want those dicks in my nerd sht either. To be clear, I don't care whether the misconduct was simply groping a woman's breasts on camera and apologizing about 10 years later, I am going to reject everyone who's been accused. Examples include; Ben Affleck, Casey Affleck, Ed Westwick, Jeffrey Tambor, Danny Masterson, Andy Dick, Dustin Hoffman, and fcking Mel Gibson. (Side note, these are just actors, for a wider list of men who have fallen since the Harvey Weinstein story broke in October 2017, I recommend you check out this article {https://goo.gl/Uq65Qv} by the NY Times) ⠀⠀IIIa. If you notice I have accepted someone who has been accused of sexual misconduct/harassment/assault please inform me right away, and ideally with a link to a news source from where you learned about (I will google it myself, but the ready-to-go link would be much appreciated.) ⠀⠀IIIb. Also, Alec Baldwin is on my list of rejected faceclaims. He's not been accused of anything, yet, but I'm not liking his defensive attitude of alleged rapists. Fúck off. Matt Damon also falls under subsection B, for a slightly different reason, but fúck him too. In this watershed moment, I have no time for defensive d i c k s and "not all men" a s s h o l e s.

⠀IV. The Challenge: a lot of us have certain fave fc's we use over and over again (I'm certainly guilty of that), so my challenge is for you to use a faceclaim you have never used before as your primary oc. This is gonna be based on the honour system, some of you guys I may know well, so I'll know if you're using your fave again, but others I may not, and I can't aggressively stalk everyone, so I won't call out anyone for not doing it. It's just a fun little challenge, worth 10 bonus points, if you opt to do it. But again, it's based on the honour system, I'm not gonna stalk anyone, but if I know you and you lie to me on the audition form. First, I'll be hurt, and second, I'll say sorry and tell you you're not getting those bonus points.

(I know, two sets of rules makes me such a di.ck, it's why I need your help guys!)

[punkscowardschampions]

School Project | Janis & Jimmy

Asia: I literally can't find any songs from 1916 wtf 😟😞 what are we going to do??! Daniel: Did they even have radio then? Asia: idk let me google it 🤔 Daniel: pretty sure they didn't, some kind of teacher joke, like Asia: omg it's really old though look! Asia: [sends him a link about when radio was invented] Janis: yeah the songs don't have to be from the time Asia: ?? that sounds so fake are you sure? Janis: 'Create a soundtrack for a movie version of the 1916 Easter Rising. Use songs from any era and genre but they must describe the mood and/or details of the event. Explain why you feel that each song matches the event.' Jimmy: 👍 Asia: oh 👌 Janis: feel free to go 'round the pubs and ask if any of the old fellas remember decent rebel songs from the time Asia: OR there's literally been like TV about it we can just 👀 what they used Asia: like get Liam Neeson chatting away and put a 🎵 over it 🙄 Janis: I doubt RTE could afford decent royalties Janis: not at all offensive to put it to elevator music, like Daniel: yeah, me mam watched that, it was crap Jimmy: Let's face it, weren't gonna be a patch on Taken 3 Daniel: [sends the 'I will find you-' gif] Daniel: Classic Asia: [sends the Taken 3 soundtrack whatever that is] Jimmy: properly sets the scene that Janis: Wow, it's like they stole the plot verbatim Janis: Wonder if you're the first person to 👀 that, Asia Asia: I like haven't even seen the movie though Asia: I'll take your word for it, babes Asia: cos of course YOU have Janis: 🤯 your mind, babes Janis: ask Dan here, it's a classic Daniel: Truuuuu Asia: 💙 Liam but like I'm so adhd I can't even Jimmy: and here I thought we had something special, girl 💔 Asia: ??! Jimmy: don't trouble your beautiful 🧠 Daniel: 😏 we'll leave, yeah? Janis: Reckon they've got it covered Asia: OMG! 🤫🤫🤫 I've got a boyfriend, new boy, can you NOT Jimmy: 💔 obvs Jimmy: he is that you 👀 more of me than you do of him, but alright Janis: long as you channel that 💔 into your song choices, we'll all survive Janis: just Jimmy: 👍 Daniel: 🥧 Asia: 🙄🙄 Asia: wall to wall Taylor 💔😢🎵 any era of hers tbh Janis: yeah, London Boy would be well fitting Janis: what Taylor song is your favourite, Dan? Daniel: errm, I dunno Daniel: don't really rate her Asia: 😱😱😱😱 Janis: 😱😱😱😱😱 Janis: this is the level of dramatic we're aspiring to, lads Jimmy: if any lass would marry someone right before they get 💀💀💀 Janis: new take on the break-up song Jimmy: bad blood was obvs written with all this bollocks firmly in mind Jimmy: Katy Perry who Janis: she has a boyfriend, mate Janis: you've been told Asia: !!! Janis: v you belong with me, am I right Asia: don't encourage him ugh Jimmy: 💧🎸 Janis: 😏 Janis: babes, he's incorrigible Asia: is that a 1916 word? wow Janis: I'm method Jimmy: 💔 for you we ain't gotta do a 🎭 Janis: my lack of exposure is a tragedy for another day Daniel: what do we actually have to do though? Daniel: still don't get it Jimmy: 'Create a soundtrack for a movie version of the 1916 Easter Rising. Use songs from any era and genre but they must describe the mood and/or details of the event. Explain why you feel that each song matches the event.' Daniel: yeah thanks mate Daniel: Janis, you seem to get it, you come explain it to me so I can catch up with these 2 Asia: she's NEVER had a boyfriend, Dan 😉 Daniel: What's that got to do with anything, like Asia: 🤭🤭 okay boy we all 👀 you Daniel: Shut up, Asia Asia: RUDE Daniel: I'm just trying to get this done, but you've just made me more confused Asia: aw babes Asia: just pick some songs from your gym playlist Janis: I'll do it, send you copies, don't worry Jimmy: you're alright, I need to pass this Janis: Yeah, so do I Janis: and I don't need this Jimmy: I'll do it Jimmy: the rest of you piss off Janis: What do you even know about it Jimmy: You're a expert, are you? Janis: I've been here longer than 5 minutes Jimmy: dumb and dumber have an' all, they don't have a clue Asia: UM excuse you! be more bitter that I won't go out with you, new boy! Janis: Christ Janis: we can't have multiple versions or we'll fail for not working together Asia: duh so let's work together Janis: OR let the one person who actually gets it do it and you get to crayon your name on at the end, alright Jimmy: Now that's agreed, I'll crack on Janis: Yeah, 64 is a LOT of colours to pick from Janis: have fun Jimmy: so funny, you Jimmy: get a smaller pack, rich girl Jimmy: not everything needs to be a flex Janis: 12? Janis: Gutted for you Asia: Size matters though, babes Jimmy: that's why your boyfriend keeps chatting about your bra size, I get it now Jimmy: Tah babes Asia: what? Jimmy: you heard Janis: as you're all busy here Janis: I'm off to do this project Daniel: I'm not Daniel: you going library, I'll help Jimmy: you heard 'an all, girl Jimmy: you ain't doing nowt Janis: Not to repeat Asia, but you what Janis: And why not, Dan Janis: majority rules Asia: this is SO not cool I have 🔥💡 Janis: And I'm sure Jimmy wants to hear 'em all Janis: see who's playlist ends up better Asia: UGH Janis: no doubt you wanna be on my team so bad Asia: you're being so anti-feminist rn Janis: I don't wanna be on that team either, you're alright Asia: !!! JANIS Asia: you like have to Janis: you can report me to Gloria and co Asia: I'll report you to sir Janis: 😱😱😱😱 Asia: mhmmm that'll be your face when you fail Janis: you've got the most experience there Janis: and I've got valid reason not to work with you Asia: no you don't Asia: pms isn't a valid reason Janis: don't let the feminists hear you Asia: 😑 Janis: yeah, that's what I thought Janis: never mind the lads don't wanna work with you either, you ain't said shit to them, have you Janis: 👌 fake solidarity Asia: I don't need to pass anything this badly EVER 👋 Janis: Toodles Jimmy: Can we focus now you've had your domestic or what? Janis: 💔 sorry I finished what you started, loverboy Jimmy: wrong 🌳 weren't it? Janis: Oh, you like the tall one? Janis: Cool, let's focus Jimmy: 👍 Daniel: 🌁🦍 Jimmy: stop flirting with me, lad Jimmy: I get that I'm 💪 but we said we were gonna focus Daniel: Didn't know your taste in hench lasses went that far, but I'm good thanks 😬 Janis: this chat has been nothing but rejection, sad face Jimmy: I'm method an' all Jimmy: Getting the british to fuck off out of it was top, Dan if you need a hand with the whys and wherefores Janis: Imagine that Jimmy: Yeah, gutted you're just a rebel with no cause, sweetheart Janis: Truly, how much tragedy can I withstand Janis: tah for your concern Jimmy: don't keep us in suspense, Dan's got a proper head for figures Janis: so's Asia's lad, let's add him to the chat then Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: go on Janis: Dan, you keep up with what this one is called? Daniel: 🤷😂 Jimmy: throw a 📌 at the map Daniel: Dylann went out with her before but he dumped her 'cos she's psycho Daniel: pity the poor cunt Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: RIP our unknown and fallen brother Janis: we should do 16 songs, for the 16 executions Jimmy: And split it into days Jimmy: somehow Janis: That works Janis: Dan, you do the maths Jimmy: could be first two, middle two and last two, sir is obvs all about the vibe Janis: 👍 Janis: just avoid actual songs about it, 'cos all anyone is going to do is a google and throw them on, like Sir ain't heard the national anthem Jimmy: duh Janis: alright, Asia Janis: nice of you to join us, again Jimmy: 😘 Janis: 🤮 Jimmy: protesting a bit hard there, mate Jimmy: we get it, you're method Janis: you might but Dan asked for help Janis: just that nice Jimmy: 👌 Daniel: Now you've stopped talking about old popstars, I get it Janis: See? He gets it Janis: maybe throw in a couple Yankee rebel songs, some fucking Les Mis, yeah, show we do without being #basic Jimmy: A+ Janis: I told you Jimmy: I weren't listening Jimmy: soz Janis: saved yourself some 'work' if you had Janis: your loss, not mine Jimmy: I'll live Janis: 💔 it's not a play again Janis: it'd be great craic to kill you for extra credit Jimmy: have a word with sir, I reckon he'd be about it Janis: I will Janis: all teachers are sadists Jimmy: nowt I can't handle Janis: 🦍💘 Janis: we remember Jimmy: Dan ain't been able to stop thinking about it Janis: 🤤 or 🤮 Dan, what's the truth Daniel: Piss off, I've told new boy I don't fancy lads, or lasses that look like 'em Janis: He can't take a hint, babes Jimmy: I can barely read any of this, there's the truth for you Janis: Heard it does that Jimmy: you catholics Janis: You don't know we're Catholic Janis: RUDE! Jimmy: if it were me all along #plottwist Janis: save it for the play, kid Jimmy: 🤞 Jimmy: love that spotlight, me Janis: that's not a #plottwist Jimmy: if everything I said were, you wouldn't be shocked, girl Janis: know your audience, I guess Janis: know it's Sir, not me, like Jimmy: nah, he's got the rotten 🍅 already out Jimmy: it's the accent Janis: he's method as well Jimmy: lot of that going about Janis: yeah, everyone is well 🤮 over your accent Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: everyone's well 🎭 is what I meant Jimmy: but tah for that head's up Janis: you're telling me Jimmy: I just did do, yeah Janis: 👏 Jimmy: save that for opening night Janis: Not that nice Janis: maybe if you were as helpful as Dan here Jimmy: I get it, you've got your hands full giving him one Janis: 💔 show must go on Jimmy: 👍 Daniel: 'least we can get Asia to present to the class now Jimmy: 🥇 she'll do an' all Jimmy: *job Daniel: 😍😍 Jimmy: she's got a BOYFRIEND, Dan Jimmy: sort yourself out Daniel: 😒 Daniel: tell your face Jimmy: no need, you've done it for me Jimmy: Tah, my dear Daniel: you're so weird, new kid Jimmy: 💕 Daniel: I'll message you with any songs I find, okay Janis? Janis: 👍 Jimmy: [sends her some songs he's already thought of 'cause we know he's that bitch about music] Janis: [a long enough time to actually listen so you probably think she's not replying] Janis: Yeah, those are alright Janis: [sends own list of a few songs] Jimmy: [again actually listening to them] Jimmy: nowt wrong with them either Janis: so that's 7 down, 9 to go Janis: easy Jimmy: [sends one that he's not sure of so maybe she could find a cover version that sounds better or something cos teamwork baby] Jimmy: ? it's a bit Janis: know what you mean Janis: this [cover] is less ? Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: That's alright Janis: we could do some kaiser chiefs or Franz Ferdinand for the WWI refs Jimmy: [songs by them that would work which I'm not googling] Jimmy: We need more lasses on here though Janis: 🥇 feminist, you Jimmy: piss off Janis: alright, I won't put in a good word for you with Asia, calm down Janis: [some punk ladies] Jimmy: she's got a tongue in her head and she never stops using it so you're alright Janis: So I hear Jimmy: and me Janis: Gutted, serious Jimmy: 💔🎻 Jimmy: [some different lady bops he likes better than whatever she suggested, bit rude] Janis: Those works too Jimmy: they work better Janis: How Janis: explain your whys and wherefores, tah Jimmy: lyrically Jimmy: in tone Jimmy: and with what else has made the list Janis: Way to be as vague as that prompt, boy Janis: you can have [this] and [that] but I want [this] from my list Jimmy: [a more specific rant about exactly why then because he's that bitch] Jimmy: you can have [song] and [song] from yours Jimmy: we should take out [song from earlier] Janis: Fine Janis: actually write some of that down though, you know Janis: not in this groupchat but where you can get your ⭐ Jimmy: ✔ Jimmy: [quick sketch he's done for like cover art number 1] or [2] ? Janis: I prefer the 2nd one Janis: looks more like an album cover to me Janis: though I like [an element of] in the first one so do that too Jimmy: [enough time to have passed that he can do a finished rough sketch of that] Jimmy: I'll chuck you the finished one to colour in, in a bit Jimmy: as you've got more crayons Janis: BCE Janis: don't reckon you'll want your masterpiece ruined Jimmy: if you don't wanna put the work in, I'll do it Janis: I'm just saying, I'm no artist Janis: I'll fake up an ad for a benefit concert, happy? Jimmy: Alright, calm down Janis: 🙄 Janis: whatever, take the compliment Jimmy: Why? Janis: 'cos why not? Jimmy: 1. you ain't my art teacher Jimmy: 2. who the fuck are you? Jimmy: 3. I don't want it Janis: 1. I didn't call you the next Lichtenstein, I just didn't say it was shit Janis: 2. literally irrelevant to working on this project and I'm not trying to tell you or ask who the fuck you are Janis: 3. Ignore it like a normal person then Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: Jesus, confirm stereotypes much Jimmy: Confirming or denying owt is irrelevant to this project an' all Janis: tell your face Jimmy: your boyfriend already tried that line Jimmy: didn't do nowt for him either Janis: That's it, that's the joke Jimmy: Nah, joke's that you paddys reckon you've got decent craic Janis: some of us prefer subverting stereotypes Jimmy: 👏🏆 Janis: [the poster ting and some more songs] Janis: that make 16 yet? Jimmy: [sends a few more himself] Jimmy: that does Janis: Hallelujah Janis: x4 that shit and give her a pronunciation guide Jimmy: 👍

[lovemesomesurveys]

Are you excited for the holidays? * I think Im more excited for the lead-up to the holidays. Like, on the actual day of Halloween, Thanksgiving, Xmas, etc, I jst feel deflated. For me, all of the excitement is in the anticipation <<< That’s how it’s become for me over the years. :( Like all of October was ~spooky~ time, but on the actual day of Halloween, it didn’t feel like it at all. That’s how Christmas is, too. You wait all year and get all excited, but it’s over so fast. There’s a kind of sadness that comes after. I still love this time of year, but it doesn’t feel quite the same anymore. :( Maybe that’s just part of getting older. The depression probably has a lot to do with it... I just don’t get excited about things like I used to. I try, but it doesn’t feel the same ya know? Are you watching anything on tv right now? Yeah, I’m watching this movie called, The Other Woman. Who is your best friend? My mom. Do you judge people on looks or personality? * While the way someone presents themselves outwardly can give some insight into their personality, Im much more likely to judge ppl on who they are, not what they look like <<< What does the word love mean to you? “L is for the way you look at me O is for the only one I see V is very, very extraordinary E is even more than anyone that you adore.”

Can you play any instruments? Nope. When’s your birthday? July 28th. What do you want for Christmas? The new wireless Beats earphones. What time is it right now? * 11:01am <<< Whoa, it’s 11:01PM for me, ha. Should you be doing something else besides this survey? I’m about to eat some ramen. Are you a facebook addict? Not at all. I only spend like a few minutes on there at a time, maybe like 3 times a day. Do you understand Chuck Norris jokes? I get it, but I didn’t get why they were such a big thing. I heard ‘em all the time in middle school. Do you have a pet cat? No, but I have a doggo! Name one tattoo you would like to get someday. I’ve wanted ‘free bird’ for several years. Do you like the color pink? Sure. Can you say the alphabet backwards? I can, it just takes me a little longer. Are you afraid of stink bugs? I’m afraid of ALL bugs.  Do you always burn your toast? No. Do you have a printer? Yeah. What is the closest thing to you that’s yellow? A couple yellow colored pencils.  Does anyone own any embarrassing pictures of you? One of my cousins for some reason always had the worst photos of me. Do you wear contact lenses? Nope. The idea of putting them in/taking them out and just possible issues with wearing them freaks me out. Plus, I actually quite like my glasses. I also look even worse without them. Do you not agree that gas prices are ridiculous? Yeah. I don’t drive, never have, so it’s not something I’ve had to deal with firsthand, but still I see the prices and hear my family talk about it so yeah. How’s the weather where you’re at? It’s finally feeling like fall and I’m loving it. Do you have a cell phone? Yes. Do you still live at home? Yes. Are you currently enrolled in college? Nope. I graduated in 2015. Do you have a drivers liscence? No. Name one event that made you happy today :) It’s only been today for 15 minutes. Do you care what others say about you? Yes and no. Not as much as I used to, though. Not in a good way where I have confidence and don’t give a shit what people think about me, but just that I don’t have the energy to care ya know? I’m basically numb to it. Have you ever played Farmville? Nah, never got into that. What is your favorite video game? Mario anything, really. What song represents your life the best? I don’t know. Do you stereotype people that you don’t know? I think we all do that sometimes. Is there anyone out there that really bugs you yet you don’t know why? Lol yeah. I’m just annoyed with people in general. :X How fast can you type? Fast. What are you afraid of the most in life? Losing my loved ones, never getting better/getting worse, and just wasting away; never doing anything with my life. Do you have a religion? I’m Christian. Are you into anime? No. Do you prefer day over night? I guess. How many hours of sleep do you get per night? It varies. Never feels like enough. Name one movie that has made you cry more than once. Hmm. Do you have any siblings? I have 2 brothers. Have you ever donated to a charity? Yeah. What is your worst feature? Everything. Do you consider yourself a kind person? I think I used to be, but I don’t feel like I’m that kind anymore... I feel like I’ve become hardened. :/  What is the last thing you’ve eaten? Ramen. What’s the longest you’ve ever stayed awake for? Over 30 something hours. Are you for or against abortion? Do you believe in soul mates? It’s hard to imagine that there’s someone out there meant for me. Who is your hero and why? My mom. Who is your favorite musical artist? I have a lot. Do you have a secret talent? Nope. I have no talent. What is your favorite color? Pastels, dusty rose, yellow, mint green, and coral. When is your father’s birthday? March 20th. What are you doing besides this survey? Listening to an ASMR video. What do you do in your spare time? So, I spend my days lounging in bed, Tumblr-ing, doing surveys, checking social medias, watching YouTube, watching TV, and sometimes coloring and reading. I haven’t read in months, though. :/ I want to change that, but for some reason I have yet to do so. Do you still like to take naps? Sometimes sleepiness is just too overpowering and I give in. I always feel so groggy and meh after a nap, though. Do you have any children? Nooo. Have you ever danced in the rain? Yeah. Do you watch the Disney Channel? Not anymore. What was your last dream about? I don’t remember. My dreams are so weird and random, but for some reason I usually forget them when I wake up. Do you swear? Sometimes. Are you a sarcastic person? Noo, not at all.  Are you bad at spelling? I think I spell pretty well. Where was the last place you went besides your house? I tagged along with my mom last night to go pickup our food. Do you overthink things? Yeppp. Are you naturally paranoid? Yes. What is your biggest pet peeve? One of them is eating sounds.

[kk095]

Wrong place, wrong time

@beggingforbreathe and I worked on this story together. We hope you like it!

*****

In my experience as an ER doctor, I feel that most trauma cases are the result of poor decision making in some capacity. However, there are people that were simply victims of circumstance and sometimes those are the hardest to take. And now, sitting at my computer as I type in notes for the coroner, I realize I had one of these victims of circumstance today.  It ended up being a particularly difficult case for me.

Patient info:

Name: Madilyn Morris

Date of Birth:  10/17/1979

Description: 38-year-old white female, 5'11, Impossibly fair skinned with a hint of pink in her cheeks, she didn't wear much makeup, but she didn't need it as her skin was clear.  Chocolate brown eyes that were large and fringed with dark lashes. Tall with softer curves that had a slight hourglass shape. Wider hips, naturally large breasts. Dark hair with a touch of white hid by the streaks of honey and purple. Small wrinkles around her mouth and eyes from laughter, and a Celtic moon tattooed on her hip.

Medical Problem: … I stare at the screen remembering.  

It started a little after 12 pm.  Normally, weekday afternoons are totally empty in my emergency department so I take a lunch break between 12 and 1. However, my lunch break was cut off rather quickly.  My pager went off, telling me that EMS was on the way with a critical patient. Calling the desk, all they could tell me was “female, late 30s, multiple gsw’s.” With a sigh, I thought a few things: First . . . who gets shot on a weekday afternoon?  Second . . . how serious was this case? Were these gunshot wounds going to be flesh wounds or was she going to be basically dead on arrival? I hoped for the best but mentally prepared for the worst.

I left the hospital cafeteria and quickly started ordering my nurses and residents around. “Ok, let’s get trauma 1 ready. Let’s get blood, FFP, an intubation kit, a chest tube tray, a thoracotomy tray, and a crash cart. I wanna make sure we’re prepared for EVERYTHING! And call the OR and make sure there’s an OR ready for us just in case.”

My staff members hurried around the emergency department as they geared up, prepared the trauma room, and got the supplies I felt we needed. “what’s our ETA?” I asked. One of the nurses replied, “ETA is 5 minutes.”   I nodded and went into trauma room 1 and put my gown, gloves, and face visor on. The room was eerily quiet in those few minutes, you could probably hear a pin drop. Little did I know, that was the calm before the storm.

When the ambulance and patient arrived, the trauma team and I were bombarded with a wall of sound. The ambulance’s sirens were very loud, running at the highest level possible and were followed by all the commotion that ensued as they ran the gurney in.   The paramedics wheeled our patient in and said “38-year-old female, 1 gsw to the left chest, 1 to the upper left abdomen, and 1 grazing wound to the left calf. Hypotensive, tachycardic, probable hypovolemic shock, altered mental status…”

“Seriously?” she coughed and swallowed hard.  “Altered mental status? I just got shot! Wanna trade places and see how your mental status is?” she said weakly with very sharp brown eyes glaring at the man as she intervened in my conversation.  She was a feisty one, probably running off adrenaline, but that worked in my favor.

“Alright, ma’am, can you tell me your name?” I asked as she was transferred to the table carefully.

“Madilyn. My students call me Mrs. Morris.” She answered with a sigh.

“So you’re a teacher?” I asked, trying to make conversation to put her at ease and hopefully gather potentially vital information. “What do you teach?”

“High school English.”  She’s a little short of breath as she responds.  “Today, the death scene in Romeo and Juliet. Fitting huh?”  Her eyes blink closed for a few seconds as I almost miss the grimace and the slight way she scrunches her toes.  She is in some pain, but I am reluctant to give her anything that might dull her senses right now. “Really living the dream, aren’t I?” she replied a bit sarcastically, but I could tell there was humor under the sarcasm and the corner of her mouth turned up showing off the little laugh lines at the corner.  This was a woman who seemed to have no regrets.

“Can you tell me what happened, Madilyn? I know you got shot, but is there anything you can tell me beyond that?” I asked.  I really just wanted to keep her talking. If she was talking, it can’t be that serious. I wanted it to not be serious.

“I was just getting my class settled …  we had a fire drill.” Her sentences are short, broken, but to the point.   “I heard some noise in the hallway … yelling and cussing. I knew the voice so I stepped out into the hall.  He was shoving the guard and trying to take his gun. He tackled the guy, almost had the gun and the guard warned him that he was going to shot.  He was so strong . . . the boy just grabbed his arm and tried to wrestle the gun free. Somewhere in there, the guard pulled the trigger. He hit me… I don’t think he even knew I was in the hall.”

“So you were at the wrong place at the wrong time,” I reply as people work around her and I quietly observe.  “Can you tell me the name of the boy or the security guard?”

“I can’t,” she sighs.  I remember that names are protected information and nod.  “He’s fairly new, autistic. He has some challenging behaviors.  He doesn’t like noise and I didn’t see his headphones. The alarms probably upset him. He saw me after … I don’t think he understood.  As for the guard… it was an accident. I don’t want anyone in trouble over this.” I look at her thinking that maybe her mental status is a bit altered.  

“Alright Madilyn, I can’t make any guarantees about them.  We’re gonna focus on you now and make sure you’re ok,” you reply as you touch my bare shoulder trying to be reassuring.  

I removed the blanket that EMS placed over Madilyn's torso. Her chest and abdomen were covered in a decent amount of blood, almost marching the burgundy bra and panty set she was wearing. “Ok, I want a chest x-ray, a chest and abdominal ultrasound, and let’s hang o-neg and FFP from the rapid infuser,” I ordered.

“It hurts,” she finally breaks down looking at me.  Her brown eyes were starting to show it now as I notice the thin sheen of tears.  The adrenaline protecting her was definitely fading. “Could you do something for the pain?” She didn’t shout.  She didn’t scream, but her jaw was locked and her toes were curled tight now. Her fingers were wound tight around the sheets.   

“Alright,” you agree wishing you could be reluctant but knowing you can’t.  “Let’s push a round of morphine,” I said, realizing that Madilyn was in pain, despite her tough, sarcastic persona.

We removed her bra and panties along with the backboard, c-collar, and head stabilizer and turned Madilyn onto her side to locate exit wounds. It was a pretty quick initial assessment: 3 entry wounds, 3 exit wounds. Now the next question was: what structures were injured? Madilyn was awake, talking and seemed “fine” despite the circumstances.  Her stats, however, suggested substantial blood loss. “Let’s get that chest x-ray and the ultrasounds,” I ordered.

“Madilyn, how’s your breathing?” I asked concerned.  The morphine had started to kick in and her body was much more relaxed.

“Fine,” she sighed.  But I ’m cold. The room might be spinning.  Is this worse than I think it is?” she asked as her eyes closed.

“We don't know just yet but we’re gonna get to the bottom of this, Ok?” I said back to her.  “How’s that blood coming?” you say knowing that they need to keep the supply going. You look up, but it’s full and dripping into her arm.  

The chest x-ray didn’t really show anything significant. However, both ultrasounds concerned me greatly. The chest ultrasound showed pericardial effusion and the abdominal ultrasound showed evidence of a large bleed but the source was unknown. My main concerns were the spleen or the abdominal aorta as the source of the bleeding. At that point, I decided to get a consult from our trauma surgeon about our next step. Madilyn seemed adequately stable so I figured I’d hand her off to surgery and be done with the case . . . or so I thought.

One minute she seemed fine, the next she started to deteriorate rapidly. Her blood pressure started to tank and she started spitting up blood.  Madilyn was scared at that point. Her bravado was totally gone. She looked at me while shivering and asked “am I gonna die?” while more blood entered her mouth as she coughed.

“We're gonna get a surgeon down here. I just need you to stay with me, ok?” I asked her while looking into her brown eyes.  I grabbed her hand and squeezed it for a second before knowing I needed to get back to work. The second I let go, it was as if she suddenly fell asleep. The monitors displayed ventricular fibrillation.

“Damn it! Where’s that surgical consult?!” I shouted as one of the nurses started pumping away at madilyn's chest.  Her large, natural breasts bounced around during each individual compression as the sound of the defibrillator paddles charging could be heard in the background. “Ok, everyone clear!” I shouted as the defibrillator paddles were placed onto the woman's bare chest. Her body arched slightly and crashed back onto the table as the shock went through her body. “No change! Push a round of epi and recharge the paddles.” I ordered while the nurse resumed deep, violent chest compressions. An Ambu bag was placed over her nose and mouth so air could be forced in. “I don't think she’s moving any air, we need suction!” Shouted the nurse that was in charge of bagging. Once blood was suctioned out of the woman's mouth, another shock was delivered. Madilyn's size 10 feet flew into the air and slammed down quickly, showing off a few prominent wrinkles in the soles of her feet. The monitors showed an idioventricular rhythm. She’d slipped into the grey area between asystole and v-fib; it’s not a shockable rhythm so all we could do is get blood into her, push meds, and keep doing CPR.

After another round of epinephrine and 2 and a half more minutes of uneventful CPR, I decided that we should intubate her. As her chest was being continuously pounded, I watched as the resident with me grabbed the silver scope and opened her mouth wide with gloved hands.  A plastic tube was inserted into her airway and held in place with tape. “Tube's in,” said the resident that did the intubation. An Ambu bag was attached to the tube and ventilation was resumed. I placed my stethoscope on her chest just to make sure we had good breath sounds.  They’d done a great job. Air moved through her lungs.

The nurse that was performing CPR started to get tired so I swapped out with them, wanting to keep the best possible flow of blood going. I placed the heel of my hand on the center of Madilyn’s chest, kept my arm straight, interlocked my fingers over her heart, and pushed down hard and fast without bending my elbows. I could feel Madilyn’s fading body heat against my palms as I heard one of her ribs snap like a twig. I heard a muted cracking sound with each individual compression after that.

Another 3 minutes went by as my arms grew tired and my muscles ached. We pushed 2 more rounds of epi along with a round of atropine, and then angiotensin 2. Unfortunately, she was still in this idioventricular rhythm. I started to feel extremely fatigued since I was pumping the beautiful woman’s chest with maximum effort.  If ever I wanted someone to pull through, this was it . . . she didn’t need to die, not under these circumstances. I looked down at her face. If it wasn’t for the ET tube hanging out of her mouth, I would’ve thought she was asleep.

“Come on Madilyn! Come back to us! I wanna hear you make another smart alec remark, ok?!” I shouted at her as if I was convincing her not to die. “You can do it.  Stay with us.” I was starting to get short of breath from this effort, even with the break in between as we constantly switched places.

CPR went on to no avail for another 2 minutes. At that point, I had to make some changes to the code because what we were doing obviously wasn’t working. Her pupils were sluggish but still reactive so she wasn’t dead just yet.

“Get me the thoracotomy tray! We gotta open her up now!” I shouted, hoping that my desperate attempt would bring Madilyn back.

I swapped out of doing CPR so I could perform the thoracotomy. A nurse squirted betadine on the left side of Madilyn's chest. I picked up the 10 blade off of the thoracotomy tray as someone lifted her arm for me. I made an incision in her 5th intercostal space starting at her sternum and ending at the mid-axillary line, near her left armpit. After the incision, I used blunt forceps to cut through the muscle, connective tissue, and fat to expose the space between her ribs. Once the cutting and snipping were done, I placed a finochietto rib spreader into the incision site and quickly began turning the knobs. Madilyn’s chest was still being pumped as a cracking, popping sound filled the room as I forced the teacher's chest open.

Once she was open, I reached into her chest and started feeling around to see what was injured. “Damn. There’s a large hole on the anterior and posterior side of the left ventricle. I need suction!” I shouted as a nurse suctioned out blood from the patient's chest cavity.  The chest X-Ray had not shown this. Maybe it was the low blood volume at the start. Whatever the reason, I’d had no reason to think it was this bad. I might have cracked her chest open sooner if I had.

I quickly tried to patch up the two wounds as one of the residents started internal cardiac massage. Her heart was barely quivering at this point.  I stitched up the wounds quickly to try and limit the damage; it was simply a temporary fix. After that, I took over internal compressions as the final round of epi was pushed. To my surprise, Madilyn converted to a shockable rhythm. I suddenly felt her heart squirm around in my hands as I forced the damaged organ to pump effectively. “Ok, someone charge the internal paddles,” I ordered as I pumped madilyn’s heart manually. “Come on Madilyn, don't do this!” I said to myself. I’m not in the habit of showing any such emotion to the staff around me.  Most people think I’m cold.

Seconds later, the internal paddles were charged and ready for use. I grabbed the large, spoon-shaped paddles and placed them into her chest, delivering a shock to her exposed, twitching heart. A dull, wet thump was heard as her body jolted slightly. “No change, resuming compressions!” I shouted as the internal paddles were being recharged. Madilyn’s heart squirmed around in my hands again as I forced it to pump. “come on…come on!” I said to myself while looking intensely at the heart monitor.

“Paddles are ready, Doctor,” one of the residents said holding them out to me. I grabbed the internal paddles, placed them onto Madilyn’s quivering heart, and shocked her again. Her body twitched and her toes scrunched as the electricity ran through her lifeless body.

“No pulse.  She’s still in V-Fib.” Said one of the residents. The sounded a little defeated.

“Resuming internal compressions.  Charge the paddles again,” I ordered the resident. I massaged Madilyn’s heart for several seconds as the sound of the internal paddles charging could be heard behind me. Once the paddles were ready, I placed them back into Madilyn's chest cavity and delivered another shock. Her arms flailed subtly and her breasts jiggled.  I plunged my hand back into her chest to feel her heart. The monitors displayed no change whatsoever as her lungs fluttered around my hand as they pushed air into her from the bag. Pulling my hand out, I immediately shocked Madilyn again and got the exact same result.

“She’s still in v-fib. Charge again!” I shouted refusing to give up on this woman’s heart.  One of the residents checked Madilyn’s pupils as I massaged her heart and the sound of the internal paddles charging was heard throughout the room.

“Doctor,” she said gently as I worked compressing her dying heart.  It was as if she could sense I didn’t want to hear what came next. Maybe she could.  “Doctor, her pupils are fixed and dilated….” Said the nurse in a defeated tone. “She’s gone.”

I paused for a moment, still holding her heart in my hands as the paddles were held out for me. The room became eerily silent during this pause. Madilyn was still in V-Fib but she was gone. I looked over at the clock and said “time of death, 13:04.”

Everyone around me looked like they felt the same way I did.  The monitors were slowly shut off as the Ambu bag was detached from the ET tube and the patient laid motionless on the bed. They placed the internal paddles back on the crash cart as I looked down at Madilyn's body as the nurses slowly removed EKG electrodes. I wanted to reach in and keep her going, but I knew I couldn’t.  Madilyn's heart twitched for a few more seconds as the nurses removed the last of the electrodes from her bruised, and bloody chest. Her body was deathly pale, her lips were pale, and she was a bit cold to the touch.

I removed my trauma gown and visor, which were covered in madilyn’s blood.  The door to the trauma room swung open as an admitting nurse walked in on the scene unfolding.  I can hear her sigh when she realized what was happening. “Her husband just arrived.” Her body was still bare on the table as people started to remove equipment.  

“Okay.  I will be out in a few minutes.�� Just let me….” Let me what. Nothing was going to make this easy on him if he wanted to see her.  But I could make it at least easier. Normally I wouldn’t even bother. I reached down and began to undo the rib spreaders, turning the knobs back until I was able to pull them out.  Most people were trickling out of the room because they were needed elsewhere. I probably was too, but I couldn’t leave her like this.

“Do you need help?” she asked kindly.  

“Let’s clean her up,” I said quietly.  “I don’t want him to have to see her like this.”  She nodded at me as she moved to pull the tube between Madison’s pale blue lips before she got the stuff to clean the blood off of her chest and abdomen while I slowly closed the emergency thoracotomy I had done trying to save her life.  It didn’t take long to have her looking pale, but at least not like she’d died in such a tragic, violent way. I watched as the nurse got the cover for her body. I took it from her and placed it over Madilyn’s pale, lifeless body. Only her feet were left exposed. Lastly, I took the toe tag and placed it on the big toe of her left foot. The tag dangled in front of her prominent wrinkled soles as the nurse walked out of the room.

“I’m sorry, Madilyn,” I said quietly to her on the table and the empty room.  I knew I had tried. But I felt extremely defeated by this case. It’s hard when it goes like this….  when she was awake and alert when she came to my ER. She was a strong woman with a likable personality and she was much too young to be under this sheet right now.  And she’d died doing a job that’s supposed to be “safe.” It all left an unsettling feeling in my stomach. Especially now as I type out the notes for the coroner which will end my involvement in the case, but I’m pretty sure I know what they will say, she died from hypovolemic shock secondary to comorbid injuries to the left ventricular combined with a splenic laceration from the second bullet.  It still doesn’t make it any easier to write up though.

[carmineclock]

Old Ass RP, finally finished, more at 3

pixelpixies 06/12/2017

[txt] hey three, you free?

rooty 06/12/2017

[txt] Depends. Was that rhyme intentional or just lucky?(edited)

pixelpixies 06/12/2017

[txt] what if it was both?

rooty 06/12/2017

[txt] Of course it was. What's up?

pixelpixies 06/12/2017

[txt] i wanna tell you somethin' in private!

rooty 06/12/2017

[txt] Now you got me hooked. Where and what?

pixelpixies 06/12/2017

[txt] my room? i dunno, shouldn't take long.

rooty 06/12/2017

[txt] You're making me move for some kinda secret I don't even know yet? Fiiiine. Be right there.

pixelpixies06/12/2017

[txt] well i don't know if yours has sharks or cats in it. >;PP 

[txt] if i deliver food to you later will it be even, dork?

rooty06/12/2017

[txt] The answer is both. 

 [txt] Be right there.> And you're right there. Knock knock knock.

pixelpixies06/12/2017

> Swing door open and tug him inside.

rooty06/12/2017

> Eek. "Yes hello hi I'm here and can walk myself."

pixelpixies06/12/2017

"Don't be a baby!" 

> Close door and plop down on your bed. 

"Sooo, uh, I'm prob'ly overthinkin' things from three thousand years ago but y'know I wanna cover bases and all that, ay?"

rootyLast Thursday at 10:07 AM

crawls in here three years later ---- "And what bases would that be?" > You'd prefer to take a chair of available. But the bed shall do too. Especially considering the chair would probably be Clover-sized.

rootyLast Thursday at 10:38 AM

> Quirk an eyebrow. You never know where Clover is trying to go with a thing. "I sure did. What about it?"

pixelpixiesLast Thursday at 10:38 AM

"I um....I wanted to ask you for advice."

rootyLast Thursday at 10:46 AM

> Sigh. You know, you do feel honored that Clover comes to you to ask, but why's it gotta be about this? "Regarding Deuce?"

pixelpixiesLast Thursday at 10:47 AM

"Yeah."

rootyLast Thursday at 10:50 AM

> You take a moment to just put yourself into a fitting mindset, trying to stay very open and not critical and definitely not pissed. "Alright, and what's the issue?"

pixelpixiesLast Thursday at 10:52 AM

> You're giving him your trust don't do this to him. > You shift anxiously.

rootyLast Thursday at 10:53 AM

> You're trying. "You came to ask for advice, didn't you? So, what's wrong?"

pixelpixiesLast Thursday at 10:55 AM

"...He's in love with me and I think I fell for him and we both know what we're doing and I'm pretty sure we both have thirty different plans in mind for how we're going to kill each other one day and I can handle it but I don't know if somebody here's going to wanna stab me for it."

rootyLast Thursday at 11:07 AM

> Sigh. Not an annoyed sigh. More like a very short exhale, like, 'welp, yep, that's a thing.'  "Well, I think you're - ehem - lucky there. Out of all the crews, Deuce is generally the one with the least conflict potential. I mean, you know. I'm not a fan. That much is true. I don't know if anyone else would be more pissed than that. Aaand all things considered, I bet Deuce hates me more than vice versa." > There have been some events. And lost fingers. No regrets tho. "I don't think you got a stabbing coming for it. Tho I gotta ask, do you really want to go through with that?  Even if you think you can handle it now.. It's easy to believe that until you're in too deep to back out. And.. even if it's all clear and simple to you, which I'm sure it is, it will be hard for others to not question your loyalty at least a little bit, you gotta understand that."

pixelpixiesLast Thursday at 11:10 AM

> A soft sigh. "It....yeah. I mean. The idea of not staying around him already hurts. And we don't...need to be official, like we ever could. Can't go around telling the whole city we've decided to be Romeo and Juliet." > Ptthththh. "Also it still hurts the idea I'd pull a Malcolm."

rootyLast Thursday at 11:18 AM

"I'm sorry I said that. Iii guess it was a little unfair. But I think you can understand that it's been a lot. I'm just concerned you guys. For us all. And while you're surely more clever and conscious when it comes to this, it still begs the question whether it's worth it." > Rub the bridge of your nose. "Well, I think you got enough of my opinion on this. Was there anything else about it you need help with?"

pixelpixiesLast Thursday at 11:21 AM

"Yes, I need a hug."

rootyLast Thursday at 11:25 AM

> You stare at him, baffled for just a second. Then smirk. This guy, I swear. > Not that this was out of the ordinary for Clover, you've just been in a very different mindset until just now. "Acceptable." > Arms are open.

pixelpixiesLast Thursday at 11:27 AM

>Climb into arms and make little worry noises. Aaaa don't hate me.

rootyLast Thursday at 11:28 AM

> Pat his back and thoroughly ruffle his hair. You don't hate him just some of his decisions.

pixelpixiesLast Thursday at 11:32 AM

> The hair ruffles have been received. You seem to calm down. "...Thank y', T."

rootyLast Thursday at 11:33 AM

"Thank you for coming to me, I suppose."

pixelpixiesLast Thursday at 11:35 AM

"Pardon?"

rootyLast Thursday at 11:39 AM

"I mean, I wouldn't blame you if went to basically anyone but me. But you still chose to speak with me about this topic. So, thanks for that trust."

pixelpixiesLast Thursday at 11:41 AM

> You lean back and stick your tongue out for a moment. >:P "Are you sayin' I shoulda gone to somebody else?"

rootyLast Thursday at 11:42 AM

"Dunno. Have you tried asking Doc?" > That was only half a joke. For all Trace knows, Scratch would probably whip anyone else for that, but Clover may just get a pass.

pixelpixiesLast Thursday at 11:43 AM

"I hate you shut up--"

rootyLast Thursday at 11:43 AM

> Snort. "No you don't and no I won't."

pixelpixiesLast Thursday at 11:44 AM

> Puts hand over his mouth.

rootyLast Thursday at 11:50 AM

> Hey. Lick that hand. >B[> You COULD bite it, but the two of you know you won't

pixelpixiesLast Thursday at 11:55 AM

> You poke his tongue and make a face at him.

rootyLast Thursday at 11:57 AM

> The tongue is there to stay.

pixelpixiesLast Thursday at 12:03 PM

> You wipe your hand on his front. "Guess what. You did."

rootyLast Thursday at 12:06 PM

> That's fair." "I did what."

pixelpixiesLast Thursday at 12:07 PM

"You shut up."

rootyLast Thursday at 12:08 PM

"You got me there."

pixelpixiesLast Thursday at 12:09 PM

"...Can we hang out more?"

rootyLast Thursday at 12:10 PM

"Sure we can. Now or in general?" > The answer is probably both.

pixelpixiesLast Thursday at 12:10 PM

"All."

rootyLast Thursday at 12:12 PM

"Can do."

pixelpixiesLast Thursday at 12:12 PM

"Also is Fin cool with me bein' all affectionate, and are you, 'cause frankly I never really know with you guys."

rootyLast Thursday at 12:15 PM

> Something something others can't understand you if you don't know yourself. "Probably. Maybe. We're both very jealous creatures, just as we're unfortunately flirty. I generally just don't like to be left out."

pixelpixiesLast Thursday at 12:18 PM

"Sounds about right." > Tiny bittiest peck on the lips.

rootyLast Thursday at 12:39 PM

> Groan, then chuckle. Just what are you supposed to do with this guy.

pixelpixiesLast Thursday at 12:39 PM

"Whatcha thinkin'?"

rootyLast Thursday at 12:43 PM

"Wondering why everything and everyone I like keeps giving me so many headaches."

pixelpixiesLast Thursday at 12:43 PM

"You think too hard about 'em probably."

rootyLast Thursday at 12:44 PM

"Probably. How do I stop that?"

pixelpixiesLast Thursday at 12:51 PM

> A pause. "...Well, I could give you a serious answer."

rootyLast Thursday at 1:00 PM

> Snort. "I didn't expect one, but I'm listening."

pixelpixiesLast Thursday at 1:02 PM

"Personally, everyone used to give me headaches too, and then I just kind of decided that I'd either have to put up with that forever or I'd focus on loving what's good about 'em no matter what fuckery they're getting up to. I settled on the latter, but it was somethin' I had t' convince myself on, you know? Th' kind of deal that's...accepting somebody might always be some stupid way, or that it'll take forever, and just not lettin' it drain me 'til I can't see what I love as clear. I deal with everyone by jus' starin' at the silver linings all the time."

rootyLast Thursday at 1:08 PM

> Lean back and stare into empty space to mull this over. "That sounds reasonable. And easier said than done." > Long down and bonk lean your head on his. "But thank you."

pixelpixiesLast Thursday at 1:11 PM

> Grin, pleased. "Killing people with kindness is kind of my thing, but it can save somebody's life just as well."

rootyLast Thursday at 1:23 PM

"I guess that's your silver lining." > B)

pixelpixiesLast Thursday at 1:24 PM

"Your silver linin' is that you're clever as hell, clearly."

rootyLast Thursday at 1:26 PM

"I'd say that's more of a curse but thank you."

pixelpixiesLast Thursday at 1:26 PM

"One man's trash-"

rootyLast Thursday at 1:28 PM

"That's true, some people quite like trash."

pixelpixiesLast Thursday at 1:29 PM

"You're a doofus you know that."

rootyLast Thursday at 1:30 PM

"Now that's just rude." > Fake offended.

pixelpixiesLast Thursday at 1:32 PM

"Whatcha gonna do about it?"

rootyLast Thursday at 1:33 PM

"I dunno. Leave?"

pixelpixiesLast Thursday at 1:34 PM

"Boring."

rootyLast Thursday at 1:35 PM

"I live to disappoint."

pixelpixiesLast Thursday at 1:36 PM

"You live to fuck Fin and make ships in bottles."

rootyLast Thursday at 1:37 PM

"Same difference."

pixelpixiesLast Thursday at 1:38 PM

"Could live to fuck me too."

rootyLast Thursday at 1:39 PM

"Like I said, I live to disappoint."

pixelpixiesLast Thursday at 1:39 PM

"Hey now.">Nip his neck.

rootyLast Thursday at 1:41 PM

> Cackle."I mean, hey, that's not in the realm of the impossible, but it definitely gotta involve Fin."

pixelpixiesLast Thursday at 10:51 PM

> You blow a raspberry against his neck fucking take that nerd.

rootyLast Thursday at 10:55 PM

> Screech and growl. HOW DARE.> PINCH HIS SIDES because that's the only way you know how to help yourself.

pixelpixiesLast Thursday at 10:58 PM

> You make a squeaking noise and smack his hands away, but you're laughing. Mock his growl.

rootyLast Thursday at 10:59 PM

"You know, I don't take an attack on me lightly." > More very threatening and very fake growling.

pixelpixiesLast Thursday at 11:00 PM

"Oh I'm so fuckin' scared." > Snort.

rootyLast Thursday at 11:01 PM

"You should damn well be." > Pinch his side again, then wiggle yourself free.

pixelpixiesLast Thursday at 11:02 PM

> Smak that hand. You slip off of him as he wiggles and get up. > Grrrrr. But it sounds more like you're purring, honestly.

rootyLast Thursday at 11:10 PM

> Snicker and flop across the bed. "Guess you defeated the big bad shark. Hope you're satisfied now."

pixelpixiesLast Thursday at 11:11 PM

> Climb onto him. Snuggle time. "Lazy shark."

rootyLast Thursday at 11:13 PM

"Lies and slander."

pixelpixiesLast Thursday at 11:15 PM

"Hardly."

rootyLast Thursday at 11:16 PM

> Huff, then snicker. Snuggle time indeed.

[an-obligatory-blog]

I’ve known this for quite some time, but I’m just going to post this now since even now, it’s still a very confusing part of P5.

Regarding to the ending split...

... it has plot holes, but it isn’t as major as I initially thought it was.

It was a complex plan, no doubt, and certainly, there had to have been a better way to explain it (ATLUUUUUS). After all, for a good amount of time, I thought the thing is riddled with nonsense, but after being explained by a certain someone on discord and some more thought, some questions has been answered. Oh, and reading Futaba’s dialogue before you go to sleep-- I don’t see many videos of that on it’s own so I suppose that’s part of the reason why it’s confusing.

These a few plot holes that I thought (or others) existed, but didn’t:

- How Akechi got out of the Metaverse (do you remember how you leave the Metaverse?) - How Akechi contacted Shido (u thought he was was underground/in the metaverse? apparently he wasn’t necessarily) - The Metaverse app being activated without alerting Goro (you can use the app without audio input via the search history function (see: the second time Akira and Ryuji entered Kamoshida’s Palace)) - Goro not getting into his rebel outfit after entering the Metaverse (When asked, you can sell out your teammates and/or you confidants, but NOT Akechi. At that moment, Sae didn’t know that Akechi intends to shoot Akira until Akechi had already left the Metaverse. During the duration of the attempted hit, there was no reason for Sae to see Akechi as a threat, either a hitman or a thief)  - How tf Futaba can get a signal from Akechi’s phone (since it had a GPS) and Akira’s phone (GPS and voice messaging) when both Akechi and Sae were supposedly 8 floors underground (They weren’t necessarily. Sae met Akechi w/ the phone right after leaving an elevator. The voice messaging was pre-programmed into Akira’s phone so that it could work in the Metaverse; Futaba OP, pls nerf) 

What wasn’t explained regardless:

- The mess that is Justice Rank 8 (someone told me that it might be a developer’s joke since Morgana commented how it didn’t make sense nor would it make sense for either Morgana or Akira to , which would be shitty cuz that is literally the definition of lazy writing: “Idk what to put here so let him rank up cuz lul”) - How exactly did Sae convince the police that there was a body in the first place? I get forging the death certificate (which should be enough to fool Shido since his ass isn’t getting out of his office chair), but what about everyone else? That doesn’t sound like a feat that could be done by one person. Maybe the grunts anticipated Akira’s death too quickly and assumed that it happened when Sae reported? Eh, even for P5, that relies way too much on incompetence. How Sae managed to 1) drag Akira out without being caught 2) fool the police in regard of a dead body and 3) get away with it all for so long is the worst plot hole you could pull out of this whole plot segment. - SEE EDIT BELOW

Asterisks (*) are used to mark questionable parts that I realized after what Atlus was really trying to do. 

I found Futaba’s extra dialogue during NicoB’s Let’s Play of Persona 5. It’s around the last 10 min of the episode linked below. Couldn’t find a better video, but this is where I found out, so it’ll work.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mi6wLyeuqws&list=PL5bkYBlFL9xcNUVU5-EcBxdaVVAZM2zX1&index=62

Look at the moment when Akechi and Sae meet. When Sae showed him the phone, Futaba explained later that she bugged the phone (the one belonging to Akira) similarly like with Akechi’s phone. Through that, she remotely activated the Metaverse app to transport the two into the Metaverse. (remember the search history function that was used for Akira’s and Ryuji’s second visit to Kamoshida’s palace? That’s the function that Futaba remotely activated. She didn’t tamper with the magical app itself.)*

So Sae and Akechi are in and they went in opposite directions. Akechi goes in, kills the cognitive guard and cognitive Akira.** Now, here’s where one of the so-called ‘major plothole’ existed. How did Akechi get out? First, let me ask you this, how do leave the Metaverse in the first place? I thought that you just press the app to leave, but apparently, that’s wrong. You have to physically go back the way you came, and that’s why you always have to return to the Palace’s entrance to leave the Palace. This is what Atlus failed to do-- what leaving the Metaverse actually looks like. We saw Akechi’s pictures of the PT appearing/disappearing out of thin air back at Okumura’s palace, but we didn’t see how it really looks like without the red/black circles washing over the screen every time we do it. Apparently, leaving the Metaverse doesn’t involve pressing the app at all-- just going back the way they came. Remember where Sae showed Akechi the phone? That is where they entered, and hence, where they exit. When Akechi was done with his assassination attempt, he goes down the hall, up the elevator (yeah, the guard couldn’t have seen Sae and Akechi conversing, they were on a different floor), and back to where the app was first activated. Once Akechi crossed that point, that’s when he left the Metaverse.

This is when Akechi calls Shido. You see how he calls Shido right in front of an elevator? Yeah, he probably wasn’t 8 floors underground at that point. 

Now, I’m assume you know the general story with Sae, but I’m going to clear this up anyways. Sae received the pre-programmed messages from Akira’s phone, and she followed their instructions to go back to the interrogation room. Once again, she crossed the same point where the app was first activated, thus causing her to exit the Metaverse. She goes down the elevator and towards the room. The GPS installed in Akechi’s phone helped Futaba to time Sae’s entrance because it would be awkward if Sae encountered Akechi mid-assassination. (Futaba would know when Akechi is out of the Metaverse and out of the police station; nothing contradictory of getting a signal by then)

*The problem with this is... even if you use the search history function, the phone still plays it’s voice protocols like normal (”...Beginning navigation” You know the drill.). I don’t recall this ever being mentioned by any of the characters, but you can easily explain this away with “the phone was on silent”. **The cognitions should’ve disappeared similarly like Shadows when they were killed. You can pull any number of BS by using “well maybe Sae’s cognition is different because hurr durr”, but it was never mentioned by the PT to even consider the rate in which cognition disintegrate into nothing nor was there any measures to accommodate for that. This instance is plot convenience at it’s finest.

Now for the sake of clarification, this doesn’t mean that Atlus is suddenly flawless in regards of how they handled this aspect of the story. Aside from what I’ve already stated above, this stuff could’ve been handled better. The search history function was only mentioned offhandedly in the the very, very beginning of Kamoshida’s Palace (before even Shiho attempted suicide) by Ryuji so there is almost no way anyone would remember without looking back. The anime cutscene where Ryuji was smirking “we got ‘em” when he heard about the supposed suicide of the PT leader made no sense. (How would he know that the plan even succeeded???? I know he was being like, “well I toOOOTALLY knew that we were going to succeed” but goddamn, but that sounds like he was acting tough more than anything. That kind of blind confidence shouldn’t be present, even for a character like Ryuji.)

You know what would really help? Seeing a few frames of the inside of the elevator as it goes up and down. Despite hanging out in the background, I barely even noticed it before someone else pointed it out.

A good part of the fandom was impressed by the plan and yes, I do think it’s a clever trick for Atlus to pull on us. However, the more complicated the plan is, the more effort one should put in explaining said plan because, you know, it would be harder for the player to understand. I don’t mean treating the audience like idiots and I understand the concern of dragging the explanation scene out, but man, Atlus was totally off their game when it came to hinting/foreshadowing. Instead of doing off-hand comments about seemingly arbitrary, but relevant aspects of the plan (ex. Futaba’s bug on Akira’s phone, the search history function, etc.) that you can probably catch by your second or third run of the game, Atlus favored getting hung up on whether or not they wanted the traitor to be obvious or not because they seemed to be pretty damn bipolar regarding to that.

I do give them credit for making some information optional (discoverable by talking to Futaba). It makes the scene less draggy and allows people who don’t give two shits to skip the parts they don’t care. I don’t watch many let’s players on the same game, so I can’t conclude if many people actually went out of their way to talk to Futaba and process her words.

And one last note, I don’t think Persona 5 is a bad games by any standard, but I do believe that the writing is the weakest aspect of the game. Style and gameplay seems more polished than the actual story aspects.

I hope this helped for any of you guys out there. Feel free to let me know if you.see any mistakes/seek clarification. It’s 9:30 PM for me, so I hope I didn’t mess up too badly explaining this.

EDIT: It came to me that if the method of leaving the Metaverse is truly just by going back where they came, it raises issues in Shido’s Palace, where the place they started was on the front deck, which, as you guys know, was sinking into the depths by the end. Basically, there’s no winning with P5 plotholes-- no matter how you look at it, there’s an issue.

[rebelinksart]

Hi ree! So im going to be selling my art at a con in artist alley! Are there any tips I should know? (i met you at a con last year, thats why im asking you)

Oh gee golly, there’s a whole lot to cover there, and I dunno what all you’ve already got figured out, but I’ll go ahead and touch on all the basics and feel free to send another ask or pm me if you want me to expand on anything! Also, sorry for sitting on this for so long, but I wanted to make sure I covered everything I wanted too. I’ll still probably forget a lot but, oh well.

So here we go! Ree’s guide to Convention Survival!

1- You’re going to do both better and worst then you expect!

Go ahead and erase everything you expect to occur at this convention. Chances are you aren’t going to get signed on to your favorite developer (Though I do have friends who’ve made connections at cons that lead to that later down the line ;3), but you’re going to do okay, people will show interest in your work, and you’re gonna learn a lot. I dunno it this is universal, but before every con i find myself in a constant back and forth between the best-and-worst case scenarios that leave me exhausted and nauseous before the event, yet always find myself in between both extreme scenarios. You’re going to do okay! I believe in you :D

2- You gotta talk to folks!

My first conventions, no exaggeration, were a bit of a nightmare. I found it hard to sell art and harder to make connections. This nightmare, however, was COMPLETELY self caused. There’s a billion artists in the artists alley. Even more than art, people are there looking for an artist. In order to draw folks in, you have to engage them! For me this was super rough because I’m introverted as all get out. What helped me break out of my little shell and make some friends and moolah was creating a persona to use as a sort of personality-shield while in these situations. While I’m by no means the expert on all this, the way I went about figuring out who I was gonna ‘pretend to be’ during cons was by looking at my art and figuring out how it made me feel, and then playing that feeling up to an extreme. The result’s an odd hybrid of Tour Guide Barbie and Tracer. I find myself going to this extra chipper form of myself whenever I need to engage with folks now, because it’s something I’ve practiced enough that I know how to use it as a way of socializing and engaging with folks. Find whatever little tricks and characterizations you need to make it easy to talk to folks, and then talk to everyone. Say hello to anybody who’ll make eye contact, ask folks who stop how the con’s been for them, ect. 

2.5- You gotta get folks to talk to you!

This was a little trick that I actually learned from my mentor! Once you’ve gotten people to stop at your table, get them to talk to you. Ask them questions about their day! If they express interest in a particular print that they like, ask them if they like the series its based off of: who their favorite character was, what they though of the sequel, who they main, etc. Phrase things so that it stops being a conversation between a buyer and seller, but between two fans of a similar thing. If you met me at a con, chances are you saw me doing this in action. It feels a little awkward at first, but not only is it a good way of getting folks more interested in your work, it’s a great way to make connections and friends. I’ve met so many cool folks through conventions, and a majority of them I met from them stopping and pointing out a picture I had for sale. 

3- Have a variety of stuff for sale

This is one I’m still working on learning, but it’s very important- try to have a good variety of stuff available! This comes in two varieties- First, have stuff based off a lot of different media. Have a good mix of movies, comics, games, cartoons, anime, etc. Try not to let yourself have 20 prints of your favorite show and then a handful of other things . Try to keep it balanced. Second, try to have your work available in a variety of forms. The main way to sell art is as a print, but the more options you have the more interested people are gonna be, and the more likely you’ll be able to sell something to someone hesitant about buying. Popular options asides from prints are stickers, buttons, charms, notebooks, phone cases, pillows, and magnets. Along with that, if you feel like being a bit busier during the convention, bring some art supplies and offer sketch commissions! In my experience a whole lot of folks come to cons just for sketch commissions- During my cons I’ll end up having to take things back to my hotel room and draw through the evening just to cover all the commissions I get. 

3.5- Ask other artists about the stuff they sell!

Again, if you’re as introverted as I am, this may be hard, but i highly encourage having someone watch your table for a bit so you can walk around the artist alley. Look for products/art styles/ concepts you like, then walk up to the artist and ask them how they made it, what programs they used, where they ordered it. A lot of folks aren’t gonna really be interested in giving away ‘trade secrets’ or whatever, but this is an industry, not a competition, and I guarantee there will be some artists there that will let you know about a cheap place to order good stickers from or a cool free art program. Plus, art friends are always the best friends to have, and those connections will get you a whole lot of cool info down the line. 

4- Remember to have fun!

This is gonna be a ‘do as I say, not as I do’ sort of thing. It can be easy to get hyper focused on the need to do well at your convention. However there’s a lot of cool things to experience, and you shouldn’t make yourself miss out on them! See if you can get someone to watch your booth if there’s a panel you’re interested in, see what activities are going on after the artist alley closes, buy something neat for yourself. Work can be pleasure too!

LAST SILLY LITTLE BONUS POINTS

-Every con I’ve been to has rules about food, but every con I’ve been to artists take food into the alley while they’re working. While I dunno the rules on it all, every con I pack my bag full of at least 3 Neuro Sonic’s and a bunch of skittles and granola bars to keep me going. Haven’t been yelled at yet. I say get your munch on and see if you can avoid pricey convention food.

-Also, probably not healthy advice, but caffinate HEAVILY. You know those Neuro Sonic things I mentioned five seconds ago? They sell em in Walmart, and are the only reason I’ve ever survived a convention ever. Coffee, soda, tea, whatever you gotta do. Keep yourself kicking.

-If you’re still looking for places to buy products, Vistaprint is my go-to for most my stuff. Good prints, great business cards, I plan on ordering some of their cards and notebooks for my next con.They also have sales all the time, which is super rad.

-Oh snap, BUSINESS CARDS. If you don’t have some, get some. If you have some, GET MORE. That was the biggest surprise my first convention, is the sheer amount of business cards people will take. Like good golly. Get yourself a ton of business cards

That’s all I can think of right now. Let me know if you have any other questions, or if you’d like me to rant more about stuff! And good luck at your convention! You’re gonna do great!

[yesyunniechan]

Detective Conan File 1002 [Japanese to English Translation]

The criminal is... Tengu?

[Te... Tengu?!]

Se: The tengu appeared in Agata-san's room?!

S: Yeah...

S: It was like in the movie with SFX!

Se: And then? What happened to the Tengu?

S: It burned up and vanished after Agata-san threw an ashtray at it!

Se: B-burned up and vanished?! So it really must be SFX?!

S: Agata-san said that he wanted to return to his room after Nishiki-san was killed in order to get some rest, but he couldn't catch any sleep...

S: He tried to drink himself to sleep in the bar, but drank too much and got dead drunk...

S: When he came back to his senses, he'd returned to his room... He wanted to have a smoke, but felt a strange presence when he was lighting his cigarette, so he looked up at the ceiling and...

[A tengu appeared at the hotel’s ceiling...!! Shinichi and Sera’s deduction..?!]

S: Saw a gigantic tengu glaring down at him from the ceiling...

S: So he fell from his chair and screamed...

S: Keiko-san, who was in the next room over, heard this and contacted me, and we managed to catch a glimpse of the Tengu after I rushed over here.

Se: He returned to his room without noticing it...

S: Yeah... He said he had a feeling someone helped him along on his way back to his room... 

Se: Which means that someone might have had a chance to set something up in Agata-san's room...

S: But there was nothing that looked like a film projector and could have been used to project something, right?

Se: What about the cipher? Was there another cipher? 

S: No...

S: Although, just as with Nishiki-san...

S: He got two lumps on his forehead...

Se: Speaking about lumps...

Se: Kurachi Keiko-san, the actress, also said that she got a lump when she fell during that one shoot, didn't she?

S: Yeah... They'd finished the film, but she asked the director to redo the last scene... and she fell during the retake they filmed a couple of days ago...

S: Now that I think of it, she did say that somebody might've pushed her from behind... She didn't have her hat on the last time I saw her, but her forehead did still look a bit swollen, so I think she really must have fallen...

S: Well, she was smiling as she was falling, like 'Kobutori Jiisan' from that one folk tale...

Se: Didn't Kobutori Jiisan have his lump on his cheek?

S: There are various versions that all differ based on their region, right?

S: More importantly, did the blood on the ceiling at the scene of Nishiki-san's murder really end up being his?

Se: No... the police examined it after you left...

Se: Only the center part with the splattered blood, so basically the blood that dripped on your shoulder, was actually Nishiki-san's blood....

Se: The rest was just paint that must've been put there beforehand...

S: Just as I thought!

Se: Also... we thought that the murder weapon that was used to stab Nishiki-san was buried underneath all those scattered script pages... but we couldn't find it...

S: Meaning that the criminal should still have said murder wea...

S: R-Ran? What's up?

R: Oh, nothing at all!! Just, you know, the fact that you and me french kissed in London, what's all that about?!

S: Haah?!

So: Nakamichi-kun keeps blabbering on about it in the weirdest kansaiben! "Those two had already shared a big smooch!" <3

S: A-a, n-no, see, that was my voice, but it wasn't me...

[Flashback]

R: "My voice, but wasn't me"?!

So: Why are you using kansaiben?

N: Shinichi-kun said so, right? 'When in Rome, do as Romans do'...

Se: By the way, why are your sleeves folded up like this? 

S: Heh?

Se: If your sleeves are pestering you, you'd usually roll them up like this, no?

S: A-a, w-well...

Se: That looks like...

Se: A little child had to wear it...

S: B-Ba-ro, that's impossible...

R: A...

R: The poster of that movie Keiko-san stars in...

So: But I suppose it won't premier after what happened to Nishiki-san, the scriptwriter...

R: Yeah...

Se: What was it about?

S: The edo period... There was an officer by the name of Kuranosuke at the Kyoto magistrate...

S: He was troubled that he had no rare valuables to present to the Shogun-sama... Upon hearing this, his wife, Mana, gave her husband Aralia leaves that were giving off a golden glow and said... 

S: "This is the Aralia I found while I was picking out wild plants! They're divine, so I'd always pray with them between my hands, but I brought it for you, dear"... 

S: "This will make the Shogun-sama happy" Kuranosuke was thankful for Mana's help, but...

S: After that, a mysterious demon appeared in the city of Kyoto and started eating people night after night...

S: That happened because that Aralia served as a seal for the Tengu that sealed away said demon long ago...

S: So then a Tengu appeared by Kuranosuke's bed...

S: "The demon fears that the one who set him free might try to seal him away yet again...

S: And is thus trying to find that person and kill her..."

S: "And if your wife lets that demon eat her while hiding the Aralia leaf in her pocket, it will seal the demon away again..."

S: "My body has already rotted away, and I exist only in the form of a thought, so this is the only way we can do it..."

S: Kuranosuke refused, saying "I'd rather die than sacrifice her!", so the Tengu laughed and replied... 

S: "Hoo... you're willing to give your own life? Then hold these Aralia leaves in your hand and jump from the Kiyomizu temple's stage... that should open up a path...'

S: Kuranosuke believed the tengu, jumped from the Kiyomizu temple's stage, and became a tengu himself, giving off a golden glow...

S: He saved Mana, who was about to be eaten by the demon, and elliminated it with his tremendous magical powers, but...

S: Because he'd become a tengu, Mana couldn't see him...

S: The weeping Mana, whose husband had suddenly disappeared from her sight, heard an echoing voice...

S: "If you want to meet me, bring Tengu flowers to the Kiyomizu temple's stage, on an evening that the autumn leaves are brightest"...

S: Mana heeded these words, and she arrived at the Kiyomizu temple's stage grasping the flowers known as Tengu Kuwagata...

S: Kuranosuke, who'd become a tengu, appeared, and she asked...

S: "But why did we have to meet at sunset? If we'd met while the sun was at it's zenith, I would have been able to stay with you longer"...

S: And Kuranosuke answered... "My face has turned red out of the anger for that demon, and my body is covered with its red blood... Yet when everything around me is just as red, I can at least hide it a bit, don't you think?'

S: Then, after they'd shared a goodbye kiss, Kuranosuke disappeared into the darkness of the night... 

S: Sad story...

So: Awesome!!

R: How come you know that so well? 

Se: It hasn't premiered yet, right?

S: Yeah... actually, this movie...

S: Is an adaptation of an art project they did while they were at the Gion University of Arts...

S: And this story's out there on the internet!

S: Well, looks like all five of them ended up becoming famous because that art project was really popular... So it's difficult to imagine that the criminal might be one of them...

R: By the way, when I met Keiko-san at the Kiyomizu temple's stage...

R: She flew the pressed flower to the wind! Maybe it was the tengu flower from that story... 

S: R-really?

R: And she whispered 'Wait, Dekuri-kun... Soon..."...

S: Why Dekuri-kun? That guy isn't part of the staff...

R: Mana and Kuranosuke exchanged a kiss... Kiyomizu temple's stage...

R: I wonder... Maybe Shinichi wants to share a kiss as well?

[So, class...]

[Starting this afternoon, every group will be allowed to do as they wish...]

[After finishing the course... you should all return to the hotel by 6 PM!] 

N: Oi, heard that, Kudo? You can use a selfie stick at the hotel's public bath to spy on the girls half!

S: Really?

TN: Ffs Shinichi 

N: Well Sera... Has no breasts, but...

N: Spying on Mouri would make for a great snap, don't you think?

S: W-well...

N: "Well"... You... didn't bathe with Mouri after that kiss, did you?!

S: T-there's no way I could do that, right?!

S: I did as Conan though... 

S: Hm? A call from Hattori?

S: Oi... did something else happen?

H: It’s a mess...

H: The media is rushin' to the hotel and makin' a huge fuss! 

H: Since the one who was killed yesterday was Nishiki Tarou, who'd won the Naoki award...

H: It caused a major media circus, how're thing on yer side?

H: Did yer sensei tell ya to cancel the field trip and return to Tokyo?

S: It's fine for now!

S: Looks like the teachers are keeping what happened a secret from the students... The room Nishiki-san was killed in and the rooms where the students are staying are far away from one another after all...

H: Can ya escape them for a bit?

S: Eh?

H: Those four said they want to talk about the Dekuri guy that created the  cipher, but the media is makin' too much noise in the hotel, so... 

They're thinkin' of sneakin' to the restaurant they'd made a reservation at for lunch...

H: I'll head there with the police, but what 'bout ya? Ya wanna listen to 'em yerself too, right?

S: Which restaurant is it?

H: A Ryotei called Isogiyama of Ponto-cho!

R: Where should we eat?

Se: Those fruit sandwiches yesterday were delicious!

So: Then today...

S: How about... Isogiyama at Ponto-cho?

R: That's our Sonoko!

R: Although at first we were originally turned away because there were too many reservations...

N: Suzuki-zaibatsu's great!

So: Well, yeah~

Se: Hm?

Se: What? 

Se: What's this round fence made out of bamboo?

Se: Other restaurants have stuff just like this...

N: It's a trend  here in Kyoto, isn't it?

M: This is...

M: Inuyarai...

M: They say that it's meant to ward off thieves by renderin' them visible at from the road... But it really just keeps dogs from markin' their territory...

R: Momiji-san!!

So: Do you know her?

R: Yes! We met when me and dad travelled to Kyoto before...

TN: EAT IT MOVIE 21

Se: Huge boobs...

M: Friends of Ran-san? Yer all wearin' the same uniform...

R: We're here visiting from Tokyo for a field trip...

M: Heeh... Tokyo?  

M: Thank ya for comin' out from yer countryside to our place! <3

So: C-countryside...

S: We're from Tokyo, the capital...

Se: What should I eat so that mine will grow that big?

M: After school, I had some free time after school this afternoon, so I was thinkin' about havin' lunch at this restaurant... Wanna go together?

R: Momiji-san is a student of Kyoto Senshin High, right?

R: Then maybe do you know Okita Soushi-kun?

M: Ah, yeah... That kendo boy is in the same class as me...

R: Really?

M: How 'bout comin' inside and continue our talk there?

[Tengu!!]

R: Eh?

Sc: A tengu appeared on Kiyamachi street!!

S: A t-tengu?!

P: Ayanokoji-keibu... There's word that a tengu has appeared on Kiyamachi street...

H: That's nearby...

A: We gotta do somethin' 'bout that dimwit...

P: But looks like there are a number of them!

H: What?!

N: O-oi... You'll protect us, right?

A: Yes! We'll have to leave for a bit, so please don't go anywhere!

M: O-okay...

K: That's kind of scary...

A: Y-you won't let them run away, right?

H: Yeah! Have no worries!

S: Oi-oi-oi... 

Se: How many of them are there?!

S: Nakamichi! Let's catch everyone!!

N: Ok!

Se: Ran-kun, back us up!!

R: O-okay!

So: Wai... Wait..

.

So: Don't leave me here~!!

T: Hihhihihi...

I: Young Miss... How are you?

M: Fine...

So: Who...

T: Shit... ya caught me....

H: What the hell are ya plannin'?!

M: Heiji-kun!

T: I was recruited through the internet! If y'all put on a tengu mask and run along Kiyamachi street, ya will get 1,00,000 yen in advance! And if ya don't get caught by anyone in 30 minutes, ya will get 1,000,000 yen.... 

H: Is this true?

S: Oi, Hattori! Are those 4 alone in the restaurant right now?

H: Damn! We have to get back!!

S: This time it's the actor Ihaya-san...

H: His carotid artery was cut...

Se: And he's got two lumps again, all the while lying upside down...

H: What a weird criminal though... They spent their time prior to the murder leavin' those footprints...

H: And then they musta called this man out and killed him...

S: No... 10 minutes ago, when we left this place...

S: There were no footprints here, right?

[A serial killing is happening in the ancient city... What is the meaning of ‘Tengu’ here?!] 

[scytherion]

Bird Spirit!AU - Watanabe You

so it begins,, I’ll be postin these (head)canon lists for my au for each indiv character, and when I get a working tablet I’ll be drawin ref images,, I’m pretty excited (especially for the other monstery ones) and I hope you are too!!

not putting a readmore nyehehe

this for you @hitomishiga who needs a distraction hope your day gets better uwu 

outside the Veil: ruffled, floofy feathery scruffy hair, blue eyes, slightly stocky, well toned. The only thing abnormal is the silvery glowy feathers which drop sometimes during moulting season

in the Veil: feathery scruffy hair stays, large silvery wings with tawny highlights, small but talon-like fingers and golden eyes. a lil taller than out the Veil. small patches of feathers merge and melt into skin around her back and lower calves

powers: can fly, can turn into an owl (but she doesn’t really like it, feels like being squished), can converse and hold debates with your neighbourhood pigeon but hilariously can’t see well like you’d expect her to, still wears glasses/contacts in this au

significantly grumpier and tired than canon You, mostly because she hates shedding wwww also since she has no real emotional pillar or place to attach to

ohright so basically she’s soulsearching, finding a place to settle and possibly find a mate, it’s kind of a thing that happens when ya reach the age

she just came to uchiura because that’s where she used to be before the flock shifted, and she met chika and kanan there and you’s a sentimental dumbo

she’s pretty anxious too because she’s real conscious of her moulting and she’s in a new place, and she kiiiind of forgot to contact kanachika beforehand

she uses a cap to cover up her hair and her face, which used to belong to chika www (chika doesn’t need it anymore)

just looking for some companionship and a place with less judgement

really likes swimming and uchiura’s ocean, which is viewed as strange for the owlspirit flock, because when their feathers get wet they lose their flying power for a few hours and it’s really inconvenient to dry,, you ignores them

weak for pretty girls lmao she’s a gentleman at heart but still an anxious gentleman “should I do this??? will they freak out????? *does it anyway because she can’t stand leaving it like that* ohgod they think I’m strange”

real loyal to owlspirit traditions, especially courting ones

moves to an apartment unit adjacent to yoshiko’s.. they have a small misunderstanding but they become good bros

takes morning jogs and stops by the park specifically to see dogs

opinions on the other 8: kanan- exercise/swim buddy, cool bros,, chika - excite, pranks buddy, good confidant and person to rely on,, riko - pretty, lowkey wants to help her but highkey afraid of coming off weird,, yoshiko - slightly nerdy neighbour, good in a bind, they are gay disasters together,, ruby+dia - okay she guesses, they’re cool, interesting to talk with about uchiura, thinks dia as kind of intimidating but not badly so,, maru - a good bean who Doesn’t Deserve..........this, a good person to rely on regardless (except in tech),, mari - creeped out/unnerved and unsure, mixed feelings

as you can tell I’m keeping the rest secrets till I make their posts, though I’ve hinted a lil here and there about maybe three/four of em? of course not big enough hints to give it away, just stuff to keep your minds busy, ww feel free to speculate and shoot me some asks/pms/replies, yeah? hope yall are Hyped

next is riko, since yall already know she’s human :>

[topicprinter]

The SetupIt was 2006 I was in Germany and I was all of 17 yrs old when one night my friend and I went to an event at a night club. I ended up talking to the club owner late at night and he had a problem.His club wasn't in a main area of town and he needed to get people into his great club, but taxis were expensive, and he wanted to control the experience.In my drunken state I knew I had a few thingsTechnological savyMy friend was the manager of a rental car agencyI said "What if I could make an exclusive VIP transport service from people's homes to your club and back for say...10 euro round trip within 20 KM of here"We agreed to meet up in a few days to discuss the details...when were both sober.The PlanI went home and hashed out a plan. He's have a big event at his club, I would rent out vans hire drivers have people RSVP to the event each person pays 10 Euro and that covers transportation to the club and from the club. In return the club will also pay me a commission on drink sales (Idea came from my friend who is a DJ) in addition the club will provide us with bottles of Champagne and Wine to provide to the customers as we drive them to the club.Idea being people say "Yes we want to go to this event at this club, pick us up here" when we pick them up we offer them wine or champagne we drop them off at the club they party, have fun, what not when they are done we drive them back home. We help solve his logistical issue, we get people in the club he pays us a commission on drink sales, we take 10 euro from everyone.Present plan & NegotiateWe meet up I present my plan...he fucking loves it. I asked for 2.5% commission he bulked...he countered me at a 500 euro flat rate we agreed on .75%LogisticsI head over to my friend who is a manager at a rental car place that doesn't mind cash and he says he can supply me with up to 10 vans. They can fit 8 passengers plus the driver pretty comfortably along with a cooler for the wine/champangeClub plans on having a small time boxing match, along with a few popular DJs from the year, hourly drink specials, etc. Plus 10 euro round trip transport to and from the club.Club starts promoing it...579 people RSVP saying they want to use the transport service to get to the club and back.O boy o boy I'm starting to feel like I'm kinda fucked didn't expect this many people...and i'm 17 (I lied and told the club manager I was 23)579 * 10 is 5,790 euros at 8 passengers per van times two trips I'm going need to plan to conduct 146 trips...that's a lot of trips. Start doing the math,4 vans 4 drivers 37 trips...that's alot5 vans 5 drivers 30 trips...that's alot6 vans 6 drivers 24 trips...that's alot7 vans 7 drivers 21 trips...getting better8 Vans 8 drivers 18 trips...ok...9 vans 9 drivers 16 trips...ok this is maybe doable?10 vans 10 drivers 15 trips....ok lets do this.So some vans will be doing 2 trips, some vans will be doing 1 trip. But lets be real I'm not actually going be able to get 8 people in each van, on each trip, at the same time...so I'm going need to plan for more. Goal...20 trips 10 each way to get all 579 people in, and 579 people out.OkQue many, many, many, many, many, many, hours and days of painstakingly going through addresses and scheduling/communicating our most efficient routes. I was doing everything VIA excel and google maps. Goal was to have a few vans do 2-3 trips and then for people further out have those vans do one trip.Lets take a break and talk money579 people times 10 euro is 5,790 euro. 10 vans at 90 euro a van is going run me 900 euros leaves me with 4,890 euro. I got 10 drivers...I got gas to pay...I also got a friend whose going be at the club coordinating this massive fuck twat of a operation I got myself in. That's 11 people to pay. Talk to the club, he agrees to provide food and non-alcoholic drinks free of charge to my drivers. So that's a bonus, ok lets pay each of my drivers 120 euros each.That's 1,200 euro, lets offer my friend 150 euros plus I gave him another 300 euro for helping me through the many hours of logistics. thats 1,650 euros. I now got 3,240 euros.Ok gas...I budgeted 60 euro per van. So thats 600 euro. Now i'm at 2640Club owner tells me my guys need high vis vests plus some kind of uniform...find out that's going run me 30 euros a guy. So 330 euros. 2,310 euros left.I'm feeling alright3 Nights Before The EventMy friend and I spent 4 hours each night trying to get ahold of all the party goers confirming their pick up times.Bad news plans don't go to plan.93 people opted out of our service...I had already agreed to hire the drivers, I had already arranged for the vans and I had already bought all the stuff. Sunk cost business time. 93 people is 930 euros. Still got 1,380 left over. Plus whatever the club ends up paying me.D DayEvent starts at 7:30 PM...we all meet up at the rental car agency at 3 PM I fork over 900 euros surprise surprise insurance isn't included in the 90 euros. Come to find out its 15 euros a van. I decide that 15 euros a van is worth not getting fucked. There goes another 150 euros. Ok I'm currently out of pocket 1,380 euros. (Shirts/Vests/Vans/Insurance) that was basically all the money my 17 yr old self had at the time. I had yet to collect a dime in revenue (drivers collected money when we arrived, we also had a plan B with the club if the passengers wanted to pay on card they'd pay 10 euros to the club and the club would pay me my 10 euros)We get to the club at 5:30 PM my friend (god I should have paid this dude more, honestly without him I'd have been fucked) hand out sheets of paper with addresses, names, phone numbers, and routes (drivers would use a GPS to get to the houses) to pick up our guests.6:30 PM first van leaves the club...to say my heart was pounding was an under statement.Some words of cautionAt this point none of my drivers have professional drivers licenses, we had no business license to be operating this service, and we had no business insurance of any kindFirst vanFirst van comes lands at 6:55 as scheduled and heads out for its 2nd pick up.Shockingly...pick up went surprisingly uncomplicatedHowever we did have 36 people not show up/cancel last minute with us. Doing the math in my head thats minus 360 euros. I'm sitting at 1,020 euros...(I had a spread sheet on the laptop)All the vans made it back to the club in time, with the last one unloading at 7:50. To say like my 17 yr old self felt like a fucking bad ass would be an understatement.Also all 450 people had paid us! Well about 25% of them paid the club, but the club owner quickly came out and paid me.RestFrom about 8 to 11 PM was a down period for us. People were having fun, we chilled out had dinner, I snuck in some shots...I was shaking. In my 17 yr old self head I had a 1,000 euros in my pocket before I got my commission.Lessons are going to be learnedTurns out just because people come together to the club, doesn't mean they leave together. Starting around 11 we had the first set of club goers wanting to go home. I tried to hold them in the hopes of getting 2-3 more people into one van and they lived really far out...After about 15 minutes of stalling club owner came to me and told me if I pissed off his guests he wasn't going pay me my commission...club was full lots of drinks were being sold that .75% was going be a heft chunk of change...ok fuck it send em out.Clock strikes midnightFrom about midnight onwards it become hectic with the hours of 2-3 AM being fucking insane. We were sending out vans, waiting for vans to come back. Our entire schedules had been missed up because our vans weren't dropping off the same people they had picked up. Which sometimes meant we had vans dropping off one couple at their house and then having to drive 40 minutes across the area to the next couples home. Customers weren't happy, I told my drivers to explain its part of the negative of having such an affordable transportation option. A few customers threatened to complain to the club...I didn't wanna lose my commission all in all I ended up refunding about 350 euros.I'm sitting at 670 euros.The sun risesMy last van pulled into the club at 5 AM. Only 2 vans had vomit in them (hell yea only two 150 euro clean up fees!) I tell all the drivers to rest as I close up with the club owner. After that we head to the gas station fill up, then to the rental car shop, drop off the cars, and go to McDonalds and we all go home.Club owner congratulates me on a job well done. Tells me he brought in 19,985 euros on drinks and pays me 150 euros. Fuck I wish I hadn't refunded that 350.Leave the club with a planned income of 520-15 euros.The Dust SettlesTake my guys to gas station, we spent 150 euros more on gas then I expected... Take my guys to McDonalds and pay the biggest single McDonalds bill I've ever paid of 142 euros.I'm left with 78 euros at the end of the night.Yes..I'm sitting at the table...realizing my friend...he got 150 euros for that night plus 300 for helping me he walks away with 450 euros in his pocket. Most of my drivers after tips earned somewhere around 200 euros. I spent 6 weeks busting my ass...and I'm neting 78 euros.Cops Show Up At my HouseIts a few days later I'm at home, door bell rings. Open the door and its our local police they ask me "Are you PJExpat" I go "yes" they go "Did you run a driver service for this club?" I go "yes" they go "Did you have the proper license to do so?" I go quite.I hadn't paid taxes, I hadn't arranged for any sort of insurance outside of the rental car insurance, and I was pretty sure I was in violation of multiple laws...the cop looks at me and goes "How old are you" I meek out "17" he goes "what the hell"Long story short the two cops ask to come inside, we sit down and they basically give me the riot act. Saying that several taxis noticed us operating and called us in. And they did some investigation and tracked everything back to me. They advise me of a high level over view of what I need to do in the future. They also advise me what I did was incredibly fucking stupid and that had something gone wrong like a car accident I could be in a load of shit...they then ask me how much I made...and I told them 78 euros.They laugh and go really? I pull out my spread sheet that shows how much I brought in, how much I spent, and what I had left over.The cop sighned and said "So I guess you can now understand why taxis charge what they do...all that work for 78 euros" I go "yes" and he goes "and had one major thing gone wrong...you'd have lost...a lot of money" I go "I understand" older cop looks at me, compliments me, tells me if I want to do this business go do it the right way, and they will let this slide2 weeks laterRental car company calls me, explains that I have 9 speeding tickets to pay and owe 270 euros.GreatI have now lost 192 euros3 weeks laterClub owner calls me and asks me if I'm willing to do this again I lay the truth I made minus 192 euros plus I'm 17 yrs old and don't have a legal business. He cusses me out, then tells me I have massive balls, and then gives me massive props for actually pulling it off and says he wont' do business with me again.

[apsbicepstraining]

47 Funny Memes That Will Speak To Your Inner Basic Bitch

1.

You’re working at a hedge fund? bro that’s awesome. you were always pretty unoriginal and I had a seeming you would do coin for a living. Can you maybe keep your accomplishments to yourself before it daunts everybody else at this party? Some of us are on a lot of drugs right now and frankly it’s rude to talk about you convene developmental milestones and having “love” in your life. Thanks. (@ cabbagecatmemes )

A photo posted by trevso_electric (@ trevso_electric) on Oct 3, 2015 at 9:51 pm PDT

2.

hey … “xavier” … Have I told you that you are.. Hands down … my brand-new favorite person? oh, YOU say I exactly told you that thirty seconds ago but I recollect( belch) I will be, government officials magistrate of time in this gondola, Chavier. Because … I examined time in, college .. Chaviery ,,, whats the craziest act you’ve seen as a sled driver in this city. hahahaha oh shit I just said “sled driver ??! ” ahahaha Javier that’s INSANE … It’s, primarily, the reason for that, is earlier the other day there was a movie about sled wolfs and I guess it’s down there .. In, my subconscious. Melvin? I don’t kno- sorry, Xaviery? I don’t know if I have my keys to my, neighbourhood. So this will be, preferably entertaining your best friend, when I have to kick the door down to get In. But in the big picture I’m just so happy that .. Chavier saved me from that party tonight. Chavier, you are coming to my family’s thanksgiving. Yeah you are. You wait and look, Carlos when That request comes to Your Lincoln navigator, which I would like to tell your boss that you also Impede very clean and searching( belching) majestic. You’re gonna be there at thanksgiving with me as, my parents- behavior of thanking you for saving Me . . It’s how science toils. What’re you gonna wear? (@ cabbagecatmemes )

A photo posted by trevso_electric (@ trevso_electric) on Oct 3, 2015 at 7:29 am PDT

3.

Really, bro? You got a picture of yourself sitting next to a minor luminary who seems uncomfortable and under duress? Got bottle service at the association and felt like sharing the receipt with the world? New sneakers? Congratulations. You precisely applied the most horrible, obnoxious humblebrag and now I’m legally allowed to drown you .

A photo posted by trevso_electric (@ trevso_electric) on Oct 3, 2015 at 5:09 pm PDT

4.

damn, babe. we was texting backward and forward all day. then my epoch then was real brightened when that pic of u came through. there u were. my girlfriend. skimpy organization. iPhone pointed at that mirror in yo bedroom. u lookin mad cute. mad good. i ain’t consider no teeth but that’s cool cus ur lips was pursed in a seductive lil knowing smile. it was like yo look was saying “Yeah we did all kinds of sinful-ass things together last weekend but I ain’t relenting and merely my husband kno jus how freaky I am& far as the rest the world referred, I’m a actual angel. a angel that wear lingerie, for the purposes of our painting .’ I be smilin so hArd. then I check the instagram … YO! how person got into my phone and threw my phone on the Instagram ?? and who this nigga’ giantspro1 38′ script that my daughter “gorgeous.” hold up … Oh fuck no. you done uploaded my draw to the Instagram? why, daughter? I don’t adoration u enough? who u tryna share that smile with? damn … guess everyone gonna ascertain I went good taste that’s cool. and I ain’t callin I a chisel or a thirsty, but embankment. predict the freaky happens that we do, r exclusively between me and u& thousands of strange people that look our social medias .. not mad … precisely feelin like, 20% less special rite now

A photo posted by trevso_electric (@ trevso_electric) on Sep 15, 2015 at 5:05 pm PDT

5.

learning by star-wipes

A photo posted by trevso_electric (@ trevso_electric) on Aug 13, 2015 at 3:29 pm PDT

6.

the hills come alive, husband. fuck’s sake .

A photo posted by trevso_electric (@ trevso_electric) on Aug 13, 2015 at 10:03 am PDT

7.

blessed to announce that I am anointed to announce these realistic seems .

A photo posted by trevso_electric (@ trevso_electric) on Oct 2, 2015 at 10:10 pm PDT

8.

oh hey girl. or we could talk about potassium, k. Cherish some chemistry talk if u just knowing that amine

A photo posted by trevso_electric (@ trevso_electric) on Oct 2, 2015 at 6:37 pm PDT

9.

the fuckboy shirt, by @dizzle_saint_james

A photo posted by trevso_electric (@ trevso_electric) on Oct 2, 2015 at 7:58 am PDT

10.

hobbies include doing coin for a living. awaiting till I’m blackout wino to express any seems. and shorts with little swine on them to showcase my wild slope. do u even asset bank bro?( tweet by @stuartvcraig )

A photo posted by trevso_electric (@ trevso_electric) on Aug 15, 2015 at 11:59 am PDT

11.

first baristas gotta find me … what’s 50 kors pouch to a motherfucka like me can you delight prompt me ?

A photo posted by trevso_electric (@ trevso_electric) on Oct 1, 2015 at 8: 08 pm PDT

12.

Yes, I’ll have a Venti mete child abuse with two kills of Okay This is Kind of Adorbs but Definitely Mentioning This in Therapy. Why white people need closer monitoring, Exhibit# 82,868 B “Train up a basic in the way she should go, and when she is old she shall not deviating from it.” -Kors 4:13 (@ periodictabledancer )

A photo posted by trevso_electric (@ trevso_electric) on Oct 1, 2015 at 4:12 pm PDT

13.

I would give this target zero starrings if I could, but I’m legally required to give them one idol. I don’t commonly use the computer. But after “dining” at this hellish Turkish prison disguised as an alleged “restaurant, ” I enrolled in a continuing training direction at my town’s library to learn about the Internet so I could alarm others to prevent this situate that destroyed their own families. We made a reservation for two. When we arrived, there was a junk on the storey. When I objected this out to the “manager, ” he told me that there are tens of billions of junk corpuscles in the air at any right moment and that they may actually be composed of the representatives of my own scalp and rudely suggested that I would enjoy my dining experience more if I didn’t drawing my electron microscope to the counter. Nice try! When the liquid arrived, my teeth were rudely awakened by the most obnoxiously cold ice cubes I have ever been assaulted with. I now take medication to deal with the stress of ingesting here once. If I save simply one life by writing this, my sacrifice may precisely be worth it. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to read Fifty Shades of Grey to my felines.( via @robfee11 )

A photo posted by trevso_electric (@ trevso_electric) on Oct 1, 2015 at 3:19 pm PDT

14.

Did He like, come down from a mountain? Was there a burning bush that spoke to you? Did He give you permission to talk about it on Instagram? Did he send you the Kors pocketed or just give you the strength to evident one? (@ trevso_personal )

A photo posted by trevso_electric (@ trevso_electric) on Oct 1, 2015 at 6:51 am PDT

15.

be safe. make sure Netflix& shivering doesn’t become Netflix& children( via @carolynduchene )

A photo posted by trevso_electric (@ trevso_electric) on Aug 14, 2015 at 8: 23 am PDT

16.

hope this obligates your day astounding

A photo posted by trevso_electric (@ trevso_electric) on Oct 1, 2015 at 6:25 am PDT

17.

you know how that shit get .. missin’ that ex that was shit for you WOAH! yeah they are able to verse em and perhaps sexuality em but 3 hours later it’s like NO! I need a shower a Xanax and a brand-new country to GO

A photo posted by trevso_electric (@ trevso_electric) on Sep 30, 2015 at 3:57 pm PDT

18.

shoutout to all my sleepless friends in various regions of the world who are capable of play this tonight. first to pick up the phone and text a shitty ex loses. hang in there. trev loves you

A photo posted by trevso_electric (@ trevso_electric) on Sep 28, 2015 at 8: 11 pm PDT

19.

AND THIS WHY I TELL THESE FEMALES JUS CAUSE A MAN SPIT GAME N GOT HISSELF A POET’S TYPIN SKILLS ON A ACTUAL INSTAGRAM CAPTION DOES NOT, I REPEAT DOES NOT MEAN HE NECESSARILY WORTH SHIT. HOW MANY TIMES U GO TO BRAZIL CUZ OF A SMOOTH ASS COMMENT N HE NOWHERE 2 BE Known? THATS NOT A VIABLE WAY TO PLAN A ACTUAL FUTURE. PEOPLE USE THE WORD “THIRSTY” TOO MUCH THESE DAYS BUT ANY REAL FEMALE WILL TELL U THAT EFFORT IS ATTRACTIVE- THE SIMPLE THINGS; PULL OUT CHAIRS, TEXT HER FAMILY, DONT MAKE HER PAY AT THE OLIVE GARDEN, DONT BE A ACTUAL GRIZZLY BEAR WHO USES PEOPLE 4 SALMON AND HUCKLEBERRIES. MAKE YO ALLEGED MAN PROVE HIS SELF BEFORE U Yield IT ALL AWAY N FIND YOSELF LONELY LIKE A WHITE GIRL TRYNA FIND THE WINE DEPARTMENT (@ carolynduchene )

A photo posted by trevso_electric (@ trevso_electric) on Sep 21, 2015 at 10:35 pm PDT

20.

“Evolution of a Friday Night.” -by @ katethewasp Tag some1 u enjoy but u r too tired 2 realistically hang w/ 2nite !

A photo posted by trevso_electric (@ trevso_electric) on Sep 18, 2015 at 7:41 am PDT

21.

realistic friend points

A photo posted by trevso_electric (@ trevso_electric) on Sep 13, 2015 at 7:11 am PDT

22.

shoutout to those girls you’ve been following on Instagram for 3 years. U construed slew of thirst-trap mirror selfies with lots of creepy remarks under them from busters hopin’ they had a chance. Every now and then- something slightly unexplained like maybe a picture of a gift like a glistening duo of Loubs with no caption or explanation of where them shoes received from. Or maybe once every the three months you received her standing on a balcony of a neat Caribbean hotel and she smiling and it’s like’ who took this painting ?’ but you shrug it off and say it was probly her mamas. she close with her mommas and they are likely travel together. most of her feed be typical daughter substance. out boozing w/ pals. out at EDM celebrations with the flower headdress and the tit out and she lookin like a free spirit and prob on molly and u lurkin her sheet for years and the the working day BAM! “so this just happened can’t just waiting invest the rest of my life undertaking my perfect man.” Hold up hold out hold out run the goddamn infringes. You went 3,800 photos and not a single one of them boast a actual gentleman. not formerly. not one actual being. now you just discontinue this wedding missile on the world? girlfriend, what in the fuck else is you capable of obscure? u straight up attracted some talented mr ripley shit on the whole world. experience your wedding, assassin .

A photo posted by trevso_electric (@ trevso_electric) on Sep 10, 2015 at 11:05 am PDT

23.

honestly whatever rn

A photo posted by trevso_electric (@ trevso_electric) on Sep 7, 2015 at 8: 02 pm PDT

24.

On the Internet, all the refrigerate children are like “sorry I missed your bellow, I don’t use my phone for that ” or “calling someone is the rudest concept you can do.” Nah son. Nah. You know what’s rude? Roping me in to a half-day long’ exchange’ where I have to stare at my radioactive telephone and sort shit while I dismiss the people I’m next to and read your abbreviations and emojis to are going to the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow: that it would be better to meet up next week for dinner instead of tonight. Most of you are safe, but if you’re my lover or one of the 3 parties I care about- I might actually call your ass. Wrap yo mind around that. You and me. Voice to singer , motherfucker. Just like they did in caveman daylights. Paleo communication. Namaste .

A photo posted by trevso_electric (@ trevso_electric) on Sep 6, 2015 at 9:56 am PDT

25.

literally done with negativity. getting all the negativity out of my life. going on a killing rampage to get rid of the negative beings. kors .

A photo posted by trevso_electric (@ trevso_electric) on Aug 16, 2015 at 10:27 pm PDT

26.

don’t let fitness points prevent you from living the life you were meant to enjoy .

A photo posted by trevso_electric (@ trevso_electric) on Aug 16, 2015 at 11:49 am PDT

27.

for anyone who saw you last night

A photo posted by trevso_electric (@ trevso_electric) on Aug 16, 2015 at 7:25 am PDT

28.

truly transportive know (@ dizzle_saint_james )

A photo posted by trevso_electric (@ trevso_electric) on Aug 12, 2015 at 6:50 pm PDT

29.

priorities, bro. I’ve been steady laughing at this image all morning like an imbecile

A photo posted by trevso_electric (@ trevso_electric) on Aug 12, 2015 at 10:30 am PDT

30.

greet the sunup get back in touch with a whole cluster of random parties. Nervously alphabetize everything in your kitchen. Scavenge the flooring like it’s never been scavenged before. Forget what nutrient is for 10 hours. Appear a strange gumption of attainment although you invested the day focusing even harder on your distractions

A photo posted by trevso_electric (@ trevso_electric) on Aug 12, 2015 at 8: 01 am PDT

31.

The post 47 Funny Memes That Will Speak To Your Inner Basic Bitch appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.

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5 Reasons Why Your Blog Will [DEFINITELY] Fail – Here’s How to Stop It!

[EDITOR’S NOTE: Today, I’m featuring a guest post from a great friend, Theodore Nwangene. Though I’ve not accepted guest posts on this blog for some time, Theodore is one blogger that knows his acts. Check out his bio at the end of the post to connect with him.

Alright Theodore, over to you…!]

So you’ve just launched a new blog and you’re eager to break bank, right?

Of course, you’ve seen your friends gaining massive influence, and making loads of money with their blog, and you can’t wait to be counted among the super successful bloggers.

Now, what next?

You want to start applying all the expert tips to building a successful blog – flooding your blog with content, promoting your content on social media, commenting on other blogs, writing guest posts for other blogs, etc.

You certainly don’t want to leave any stone unturned.

But before you start doing all of these, I want you to pay attention to me first, let me tell you a very important that will prevent you from taking the wrong steps thereby bringing your blog to its knee.

Yes, I know that no one is immune to making mistakes however; being aware can help prevent them from occurring.

In this post, I will share with you the 5 of the dangerous mistakes most new and intermediate bloggers usually make while starting their blog. Avoiding these mistakes will immensely contribute to the growth and development of your blog.

Let’s get started.

1. Writing for Yourself Instead of Your Audience

Are you kidding me? I never knew you’re such a popular figure. You’re probably a celebrity if not; you must quit making your posts about yourself.

Here’s the truth: Your readers don’t give a sh*t about you unless if it will help them in one way or another.

As a content marketer, you must inform, inspire, educate, and guide your readers whenever necessary.

However, writing about your personal experiences once awhile is good because it will add some personality in your writing but it certainly must benefit your readers in a way.

2. You Want to Please Everyone

I totally understood your desire to touch as many lives as possible via your amazing content, but I’m sorry to inform you that such idea emanated from Hell.

You can’t possibly appeal to everyone, and a lot of bloggers don’t know this. The one critical thing that will ultimately determine the success or failure of your website is

how targeted your topics are.

Immediately you start writing for everyone; your content will become disengaging and annoying because your blog will lose its main scope.

However, you should instead, lesser-focus more on your core values. Channel your content solely on your select audience and forget about the others.

In the end, this will help to build up your expertise in your industry and will ensure you don’t fill your site with myriad topics.

3. You Don’t Know Your Target Audience

This is one of deadliest mistakes I see among bloggers, especially the new ones. You may understand your topic pretty well but if you don’t know who your audience is, it will display in everything you do on your site, and this will even

tually bring about your failure.

For you to build a solid blogging business, you will need to connect with your target audience on a deeper level. This will help you to serve them better and give th

em exactly what they need.

For example, how are you going to feel when you have a mentor who always tries to teach you how to count and write figures 123……..100 when you’re already very good at that?

I know how boring it can be to attend such class, and if care is not taken, you might eventually st

op attending his class.

The same thing happens when your mentor tries to teach you Calculus when you barely understand simple arithmetic.

Funny enough, this equally applies to blogging.

For you to make it, you need to fully understand your reader’s pain-points and then meet them right at the point of their needs – you have to know what level they are currently at on the topic you’re teaching them.

Without knowing all these things, your tips will either become too advanced or too basic for them, and this will end up scaring them away.

4. You’re using a Crappy Web Host

I can’t possibly stress much on the importance of choosing a reputable and reliable hosting company when starting your site.

It is often tempting to use any of the cheap and crappy ones out there, but unfortunately, that will eventually drive you out of business.

For instance, when I started my first site back in 2011, I made a mistake of choosing a cheap web host because I concluded that I couldn’t afford a quality web host.

Wondering what happened next?

Just as you guessed, I never knew the hosting company was insecure as a result; my blog got hacked up to 3 consecutive times until I finally left that domain name. This really frustrated the hell out of me, and if not for the fact that I’m highly committed to blogging, I would have called it a quit.

Here’s the truth…

…Getting a quality host can indeed be pricey, but in the end, it will be well worth it because it will save you from a lot of headaches.

Therefore, stay away from those low-quality web hosts as they will do you more harm than good.

5. You’re Not Consistent

One of the secrets of successful blogging is being super consistent. This is very important for the growth of any blog. Yes, I’ve been advocating recently that you shouldn’t focus all your efforts posting daily as most gurus advised. This is because it may eventually start affecting the quality of your articles.

As far as content marketing is concerned, quality often trumps quantity. But, it is also advisable to have and maintain a publishing routine. Can you manage publishing once/week, twice, or even five times/week?

This is entirely up to you.

Once you’ve concluded on the right times and days you want to be publishing, you need to stick to it. What matters most, however, is for you always to ensure your content is of higher quality.

You need to understand that maintaining a publishing schedule is not about “Let’s just throw up some junk post because I’m committed to publishing 3 times per week”. This will ultimately affect your readership.

Writing 2 quality contents per week will obviously be well received by your audience than writing 7 low-quality, mediocre content per week. So, choose quality.

Conclusion

Blogging is indeed a tedious task, but not as hard as people made it. Once you understand the basics of blogging and avoid the mistakes mentioned in this post, you will never have any problem becoming the next pro blogger.

You need to:

1. Write for your audience, not for yourself

2. Stop pleasing everyone

3. Know who your target audiences are

4. Get a quality web host

5. Create a blogging schedule you’re sure to maintain, and always focus on quality

With all these tips, you won’t have any problem to make your blog a massive success.

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5 Reasons Why Your Blog Will [DEFINITELY] Fail – Here’s How to Stop It! was first posted on October 4, 2017 at 4:25 pm. ©2014 "The Web Income Journal!". Use of this feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this article in your feed reader, then the site is guilty of copyright infringement. Please Click here to contact me. from 5 Reasons Why Your Blog Will [DEFINITELY] Fail – Here’s How to Stop It!

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Weekly Digital Marketing Q&A – Hump Day Hangouts – Episode 142

Click on the video above to watch Episode 142 of the Semantic Mastery Hump Day Hangouts.

Full timestamps with topics and times can be found at the link above.

The latest upcoming free SEO Q&A Hump Day Hangout can be found at http://ift.tt/1NZu6N2.

  Announcement

Bradley: Is that Jenny in the back? Oh. We’re live.

Adam: Yep. Hey everybody, welcome to Hump Day hangouts, this is episode 142. The episode where we ask questions at the beginning and there’s mystery people working in the background, so maybe it’s my secret sweatshop, who knows. If you got a guess, type it in and we’ll … Hey, no waving.

Hernan: Is she really … let’s double check if she’s working or is she actually …

Adam: She’s not playing [inaudible 00:00:23], she’s definitely not playing video games.

Hernan: Okay, okay. Okay, very cool.

Adam: Alright well lets say hi to everybody. We’re gonna introduce our guests here shortly but just go down the line, introduce and talk to the Semantic Mastery guys and then I’m gonna hand things over to Bradley, he can introduce our guests and we got one more showing up here in a minute.

So, Bradley, how are things going over in Virginia man?

Bradley: Great. I’m busy as all hell, which is a good thing, considering the alternative would be, I’d be bored. So I’d rather be extra busy, so.

Adam: Fair enough. Fair enough.

Marco, how’s it going down there?

Marco: I’m good man. I’m working out how to break the web. I’ll come up with the process one of these days. Then we wouldn’t have anything to do.

Adam: Yeah, you can’t break it all the way, just a little bit, right? Hello? Alright, moving, well Hernan you’re no longer in the other hemisphere, are you?

Hernan: I am not longer, well it depends on where you’re actually watching this because we have people all over the place, right? But, yeah I’m not longer in the southern hemisphere. I’m enjoying the warm weather of Florida for the past 3 days. I’m staying here for a couple of weeks so if anyone is here in south Florida, just ping me and let me know. You know send me a message and we can meet, have a beer or whatever. But yeah it’s really, I’m really enjoying this, I’m excited to be here.

Adam: Awesome, awesome.

Bill: I’m in mid Florida.

Adam: Oh nice, where at?

Bill: A town called Sebring.

Adam: Gotcha. I’ve heard of it. Alright we’ll were gonna save the secret introduction for when we’re ready. But we’ve got some announcements we’re gonna run through & then I’ll hand things over to Bradley. But if you’re new to Semantic Mastery, first of all we appreciate you being here, thanks for checking out the Hump Day Hangouts. If you’ve got questions, don’t be afraid. I know we get a lot of people who watch and that’s fine. If you just like watching and checking out the videos and getting your answers that way. But if you got questions, put ‘em on the event page. You know, we answer 'em, as many as we can get through in the hour. But if you are new, we suggest you check out the battle plan, the SEO blueprint. I’m gonna put the link on the page here in a second and we got a coupon code that’ll save you 75 bucks, make it a hell of a lot cheaper for you.

If you don’t have an account at SERP Space, head over there at serpspace.com, you can get done free services, there’s also free tools, we’re working on some more, there’s the mark up tool and a couple others. Just go check it out, you don’t have to register to like see what’s all there but if you want to, you can get a free account.

And then if you have some questions during the week, check out support.semanticmastery.com. We put a lot of questions we see a lot from people, where we give more in depth … answers and sometimes some graphs or charts to help explain things. So sometimes we might refer you there anyways but if you do have a question you can head there and for a lot of stuff, especially related to like syndication networks and things like that. You’ll find out a lot of information there.

One more thing we have is September 27th we’re all gonna be, well most of us, I don’t … Marco, you’re not gonna be in Portland, correct?

Marco: Sorry about that, I had to mute. No, no I’m not.

Adam: Gotcha. Alright, the rest of us will be live in Portland. We’re meeting up. We’re gonna do a live meetup on September 27th at 6:00 pm. I’m gonna post a link you can find some more information out. This isn’t the multi day event, this isn’t a big fancy meetup. We are gonna have some sort of space reserved, we’re waiting to see how many people we think wanna show up. So I’m gonna post that link also you could just hop over read some more about it. We wanna have you do a live Hump Day hangouts with us. We’re gonna hang out, have some beers, talk SEO, talk marketing, talk whatever we want to for a few hours. So if you … that sounds like a good time and you’re in Portland, Seattle, maybe northern California and you wanna show up, that’d be awesome.

Bradley: There’s one condition. Everybody that shows up has to buy me a drink.

Adam: Oh my god. Okay, so we’re only allowing four people.

Hernan: I don’t know, I don’t know if that’s … yeah, that’s not gonna … handle it so well.

Bradley: So you guys will only have like 5 people and that’s it.

Hernan: Yeah.

Adam: Oh man. And Marco, word on the street is that there’s something going on on August 21st. Is that correct?

Marco: Oh dude, it’s gonna rock. RYS Reloaded.

Adam: Nice.

Marco: We’re loaded for [inaudible 00:04:31].

Adam: Yeah we’ve got some good stuff coming out. We’re gonna be sharing some more, obviously that’s Marco’s wheelhouse. He’s gonna have some more information, but keep your eyes peeled. We’ll be sending out some information about some more of the RYS Reloaded stuff and we’re looking forward to sharing it with people and obviously we got some cool stuff coming up.

Marco: And it’s not just a rehash of RYS Academy. It’s not the usual, oh I’m just gonna make it, make the graphics better, improve the graphics and release the same old bullshit. You know that I don’t do that, I’m not into that. If I tell you that it’s reloaded, it’s because we got some exciting stuff coming your way.

Adam: Okay man.

Bradley: There’s a lot coming your way, so.

Adam: Yeah definitely, definitely. It’s gonna be a good late summer and fall. So, we’ve done enough announcements. Bradley, you wanna make the introductions here?

Bradley: Sure. We’ve got the one and only Bill Cousins and last but not least, Lem Moore. What’s up Bill?

Bill: What’s up? How’s it going?

Bradley: How you doing?

Bill: Good. How are you?

Bradley: I’m good, I’m glad to have you here man. We always have a good time when you guys come kick it with us on the webinars so.

Bill: Yep. We like to have fun.

Bradley: What’s up Lem? Are you there?

Lem: What’s up man? Can you hear me?

Bradley: Yeah, I think I had another Chrome hiccup again.

Marco: Nah, you had a fart.

Bradley: There’s the one and only Lem with that million dollar smile. What’s up buddy? It’s awesome to see you.

Lem: What’s up? You looking good man.

Bradley: Thank you, thank you. I’ve actually lost 98.4 pounds now.

Lem: That is amazing.

Bill: I was gonna say you look thinner.

Bradley: Yeah I’ve lost 98.4 pounds. I’m 1.6 pounds away from 100 pounds lost. That’s insane.

Lem: That is insane. That’s good.

Bradley: The only time I’ve ever lost 100 pounds that quickly before, is when I got divorced.

Adam: So what’s your preferred method, Bradley?

Bradley: Well this way was a lot cheaper and a lot less work. Like just working out for two years, it was a lot cheaper and a lot less work. So, I’d prefer to do it this way.

Lem: Sounds good.

Bradley: Well on that, Lem and Bill are gonna hang out with us today guys and answer questions. We’ve been bringing guests on recently just to kind of switch things up a little bit and also just to kind of like introduce some of our friends of Semantic Mastery. Many of you know Bill and Lem anyways but guys feel free to jump in on any of these questions as well. Typically I’ll take the lead or I’ll hand it over to somebody if I’m not gonna answer it and then after I say something we’ll just bring you guys in for comments. Anybody who wants to comment, that’s great. So, with that let’s get into it guys. Are we cool?

Bill: Yeah, let’s do this.

Marco: Sounds good.

Bradley: I’m gonna grab the whole screen and lock it and you guys tell me when you’re seeing it.

Hernan: Yeah we can see it.

Bradley: Okay cool. Alright, so the first question is from James. He says … which I don’t … I’m sure I’ve said this before but it’s funny, one of my personas from like 2012 is James Reeves. So, I’m competing with actually one of our students apparently for his name.

Is There Any SEO Benefit To Leaving The Breadcrumb Feature Enabled Or Should One Just Turn It Off And Link From Within The Body Of The Pages?

Bradley, I’m out, I’m building out a national lead gen site with a separate page for about 600 cities across the U.S. and in a niche which has several sub-niches going to be 3,000 pages, or 3,000 plus pages when I’m done. I’ve watched your videos on most simple and complex silo structures. I’m definitely using the complex one.

Yeah you would have to in that situation, James. There’s pretty much no way around it. Okay. I see you’re URL structure.

My question is I notice that my Genesis child theme has a breadcrumbs option. When I enable it for pages, I got to thinking that these breadcrumb links are going to bleed my juice but they basically are linking back up to the higher levels within the silo, which is what I’m doing anyhow within the text of my pages using contextual links. Is there any SEO benefit to leaving the breadcrumb feature enabled or should I just turn it off?

No, see if breadcrumbs … breadcrumbs, should be. Like you don’t, it doesn’t matter whether you leave them on or not because if you are using internal links within the context … you know, so like contextual links within the content of the posts right or the pages, if you’re using complex silo structure you’re going to have a parent and child relationship as well as category and subcategory and then posts eventually right? You can go all the way 3 levels deep, which is what you’re showing right here.

And so, you don’t need to have breadcrumbs, breadcrumbs are beneficial though because again, all it will link within is … it’s just a, it’s a trail of links, hence the name breadcrumbs throughout the silo structure. So it won’t bleed the theme like it would if you had for example and internal link, you know, excuse me a contextual link to another silo on the site there was a do follow link which would bleed that silo theme, this won’t … breadcrumbs won’t do that. Because all it’s gonna do is show the hierarchy of how the page is stacked. Like where the page or post resides within the silo. That’s it. And all it will do is with breadcrumbs is show the higher level up. So each next level up. So again, if it’s a post it’s gonna show the subcategory and the child page next and then it’ll show the, you know the top level page or the parent page and the top level category next and then it’ll show home.

So that’s really all it does. So they’re actually pretty beneficial, if you notice in Google search results, when breadcrumbs are implemented properly, it will show the hierarchy of the like category structure right in the google search results and that’s why those are beneficial because it’s very logical. And that’s part of the reason why I’ve always preferred using the physical silo structure vs. the virtual silo structure because you can see it visibly, the hierarchy. Of how everything is stacked and assembled in the structure of the site.

Now again, virtual silos are just as effective as physical silos guys. It’s just a personal preference as to whether or not you wanna see it in the URL or not. So, breadcrumbs are beneficial for that. It’s not gonna hurt you if you leave 'em enabled and also do internal linking from within the silo itself. That’s not gonna hurt anything either. Okay. Any comments guys?

Bill: Nothing from me.

Adam: I’m good.

Hernan: Yeah, I …

Bradley: Go ahead.

Hernan: Sorry Bradley, but I was about to say that breadcrumbs when they are like, when you have micro data in it. Like they are properly marked up, they will not only show in the search engines but they will also increase the CTR, right? Because you’re occupying a little bit more, like there’s a little bit of difference between the real estate that you occupy on the search engine page when you have no breadcrumbs and when you do people can navigate directly into those categories.

That’s why I prefer doing breadcrumbs because, again, it’s another layer of data markup that you can use. Right. So.

Is It Okay To Allow Link Juice That Points To The Root Domain To Flow Through And Be Spread In Each Silo Page?

Bradley: Yep.

Okay he says also on my homepage I have all 50 states, which are your tops, top of silos listed in columns. Is this an okay way to allow link juice that points to my route domain to flow through and be spread amongst each silo state?

Yeah that’s fine. That’s fine. You know, dropdown menus can do the same thing. I wouldn’t want a dropdown menu with 50 items though. So, what you’re doing is clearly a better way for user experience anyway. But, I’m just pointing this out, is the dropdown menus will also accomplish the same thing, but you gotta be careful with dropdown menus because they can bleed silo themes. So like if you’re gonna have, let’s say that you had 10 categories or 10 silos on the site. And you didn’t put them in like columns listed on the page somewhere, right. So instead, you tried to … if you tried to jam 10 categories into a navigation bar without using dropdowns, it would be way too busy. Right. It would be really ugly and just, it’s just crap, you don’t wanna do that.

So you could put 'em in a dropdown. Well that’s okay to do but just remember that, you know any links pointing to homepage are gonna split across that dropdown as well cause the dropdown will bleed. And that’s not bad from a homepage standpoint but where that gets to be a problem is once you get on, into inner pages that are within a particular silo because if that menu, dropdown menu is still available in … or you know, showing, it’s still present in the navigation bar, now any links coming in to that particular page or post within that silo is gonna get bled through that navigation bar.

So, in those kinda situations, and again, I know this isn’t specific to you James, but I’m just putting this out there for everybody else’s benefit as well. For those kind of situations, like for example a lot of the home service type stuff that I do, if there’s multiple categories or services that the contractor offers, what I like to do is put a services page on the site. Right. So essentially there’s only a navigation link in the, or a button in the navigation bar that links to the services page and then on the services page, I list all the various services, which are links to the top of the silos, the top level page for each one of those silos. And the reason why we do that is so that in the navigation bar, there’s only a services link not a, you know, a dropdown or multiple services so that when you’re in or on one of the internal pages or silo, you know, pages within a silo, it won’t bleed through to the other silos, if that makes sense.

So that’s kind of the … and so in other words, the services page is not part of any silo. It’s just a navigational page. It’s just for, it’s just one page that then lists, it’s like a gateway to the all the silos, if that makes sense. Okay, so that’s something that I recommend doing. Now in your case, if you’ve got 'em listed like on the site, and again, that’s also a user … user, you know, engagement or interface type design or you know something that you do for the user. So that they can come and very easily click on their state, that kinda stuff, that’s perfectly fine to do because that’s only present on the first page, right. On the home page, I’m assuming.

Alright and then last thing he says, thank you guys for everything, your Serpspace IFTTT networks have been an essential part of my ranking strategy and your customer service is awesome too. Cheers. James.

Awesome James. Thank you for that.

It Is Clear That With “Nofollow” Links, There Is No Problem With The Link Juice?

Okay, Gebhard’s up. He says, I find your concept and your course of content kingpin very interesting. But I have a question! It is clear that with no follow Links, there is no problem with the Link juice. But, as I know, it is also a fact that Domain authority is also influenced by no follow links. So, is there a loss of the DA with Co-Citations?

I don’t know cause I don’t measure that and I really don’t care Gebhard. I’m not trying to sound rude, but I just don’t care about domain authority anymore because we just don’t use that as a metric to rank anymore, at all. I mean it’s kinda nice to know those metrics, I guess. But we stopped trying to manipulate domain authority for ranking, like over 2 years ago. So to be honest with you, I don’t, maybe Marco or somebody else here can answer that question and give you a specific answer, but it’s not something that I track anymore so I just, you know, I don’t know and I don’t really care. Not that your question’s not important. I’m just saying, I don’t care about domain authority so it’s not something I track.

Anybody got an answer?

Marco: No, no because we’re after power. We’re not after domain authority, trust flow or whatever kinda metric you wanna come up with that kinda tries to figure out what Google might, could, should, would want to do at some point with whatever it is that you’re doing, which makes no sense. The only thing that makes sense is whether it’s relevant and how much power you’re pushing through. It’ll push through do follow, no follow … push power. I mean the whole concept again of the SEO time machine or RYS Academy was just raw power to wherever it is that you wanted it to go. We never bothered looking at domain authority, trust flow or whatever else you might have because the inherent metrics of what we were using we knew were through the roof.

Now where you might care, about domain authority is when you start seeing those numbers above 60, above 80. If he can get there, I mean more power to you because I mean you have a gold mine. But that’s not because of the metric, it’s because of the power that your website can shoot wherever, wherever you want, let’s say. Right. You have a loaded gun and you could aim it anywhere you want with 60 plus. 80 plus and you don’t really care about Google. But that’s the only time I’d look at it, otherwise, I just concentrate, it has to be relevant and I need to power it up.

Bradley: Good answer.

Anyone else?

Bill: I learn so much from you guys every time I’m on these things.

Bradley: That’s awesome Bill.

Lem: I was thinking that domain authority was out 2 years ago, like you said. And I thought everyone was going a different direction, so I was like, yeah. That’s what I heard, so well.

Bradley: Yeah, I mean about two years ago, from about 3 years ago to 2 years ago, so for well about a year, year and a half, I mean that was like the number one metric to try to manipulate and if you knew how to do it, you could just crush it. But, Google kinda put a, the smack down on that because it became, you know another … it became just like every other SEO tactic, right? It became saturated and so they put a stop to it. They closed that loop hole. So that’s why like domain authority to me and like Marco said, a lot of those metrics now guys, remember those metrics, every one of them, trust flow, citation flow, MozTrust, domain authority, all those kinda metrics guys are proprietary metrics.

They’re educated and well educated guesses. You know, I agree, I’ll give you that. They’re well educated well researched guesses but they’re still just guesses from each one of those proprietary platforms, Moz, Ahrefs, Majestic that they think they know what Google’s algorithm is looking at. It’s like they’re replacement to page rank, right. So again, those are all proprietary metrics and so which one of them is right? Or you know what I mean? Because if you look at Majestic and in Ahrefs and in Moz, you’re gonna get vastly different results for all 3 of them. And so, which one is the one that you should follow? And how do you know which one to follow? And so that’s why we eventually stopped worrying about all that. We just focus now on relevancy, trust and authority. And traffic signals because that’s a major ranking signal now as well.

Hernan: Yeah. Yeah, if I could add. If I could add to what you were saying Bradley. I think that also domain authority and page authority, I think that a lot of people are still quote on quote fixated on those metrics and the reality is that I see it a lot, like page rank. You guys remember when Google used to push page rank updates, like public page rank, right? With the caveat that it’s not Google’s, it’s just Moz.

And the problem with that is that Moz will update the public’s domain … the public domain authority or page authority once every month and sometimes not even that. So by the time you get that information, that’s outdated. Right? It’s like taking a picture when you need to see, you know, a film or a movie. You’re taking a picture and you’re saying okay so I’m gonna base my entire SEO, or decisions that I make and base it on SEO on that picture, right? So that’s why we, like I personally don’t go with domain authority. Metrics again, are a third party way of telling you what’s going on kind of with your website but the thing with domain authority and page authority is that they are so easily, you know, tampered or skewed, if you will …

Bradley: Manipulated.

Hernan: Yeah manipulated. Because, we have like literally pushed domain authority 20, 30 points with spam or for a brand new domain or with sub-domains. Right? So you need to have that in mind, like when a metric is so easily manipulated, you need to have that in mind. Trust flow, citation flow they can still be manipulated that’s why we’re going into something deeper which is, like you were saying, traffic signals, which they’re crushing it right now, of metrics that tells you what’s going on.

At the end of the day, these are all, I would like to say vanity metrics, right? Because you want more traffic and you want more conversions. You know, you want better rankings, of course. But you want more traffic and you want more conversions, so focus on that. That would be my take.

Marco: Yeah, your vanity metrics should always be your check with your PayPal account, your drive account.

Bradley: How much you deposit into the bank on a weekly basis, that’s your domain authority right there baby.

Marco: There you go.

Bill: Real quick question on that topic, real quick. Now what about the like us passing links around inside of YouTube? You know what I mean, like YouTube linked to another … one video to another video?

Bradley: Yeah, that’s super powerful. But here’s why Bill. The reason why that’s so powerful is because first of all like internal like comment links and also, like I know if we look at a link in a video description, it’s gonna show as no follow. And I don’t know this to be sure because I don’t work for Google, but I believe that internal links from like one YouTube video to another or to another channel or a playlist whatever, to another YouTube property, are do follow links. And I know in the comment sections they are when they link over to other YouTube properties. And so, that yeah because they’re do follow links you can actually, you know … it’s an internal link so it’s like it’s like having support. Like each individual video, right, in YouTube is like a supporting article in a blog, right?

Bill: Right, yeah.

Bradley: And so that’s why, so it’s your … all that link juice is contained within that same site.

Bill: Okay. So that … they would consider those links to be, have high domain authority then?

Bradley: Yes.

Bill: Cause you can’t, you can’t manipulate those.

Bradley: No you can’t manipulate domain authority, as far as … I mean as far … page authority. YouTube domain authority I believe is 100. Right?

Bill: Right.

Bradley: Because it’s maxed out.

Bill: Right.

Bradley: So there’s nothing else to do there.

Bill: Right.

Bradley: But the page authority of individual video or channels can be manipulated as well and that can be powerful because now again you’re push … you can push that page authority from one video to another or to a playlist or whatever else.

Bill: Right. Okay. [inaudible 00:22:46]. Yep.

Bradley: But with no follow links, you know, again, I really don’t know and to be honest with you like that’s … see that’s what Marco was talking about Gebhard, with like, once you get into like 60 plus or like especially like 80 plus domain authority, now that’s where you have some significant power to work with. And so, like with Bill’s question inside of YouTube, that’s why there’s a lot of power in there. And so it’s good to build page authority on those types of pages because you can redirect and again when domain authority’s really high, like it is in YouTube, it’s 100, page authority can rise or accumulate very quickly.

So if you had a domain authority, you know, 10 domain and you tried to accumulate page authority on a particular page, you could end up getting your sites smacked because …

Bill: Right.

Bradley: Unless you had some incredibly powerful links pointing at it and just a … you know what I mean? Really relevant powerful links, but with YouTube because it’s 100 domain authority, you can spam away on an individual video watch page.

Bill: Right.

Bradley: You know, video URL and raise the page authority very quickly and then you can drop a link in the comments section video over to another video and kind of redirect much of that juice over to the other video. And so, it’s a very powerful strategy for YouTube, but that’s different than what he was asking about, so.

Bill: Yeah, yeah.

How Would You Start Optimizing A Plumber Related Keyword That Is Very Competitive?

Bradley: Okay cool. Herovic’s up, that was a long question but it was a good one Gebhard, so … Herovic says Hi Bradley. Quick question: let’s say I want to rank for plumber in a city and on the first page most of the listings are from yellow pages, and sites with high DA. Another domain authority question. Would you start this endeavor in that city or try to find another one? Thanks.

Yes I absolutely would, but I would focus 100% on maps and not organic because none of those sites are gonna be able to rank in maps. None of them. Any sort of directory style site, isn’t gonna be ranked in maps. So I would go after maps. Now it’s interesting because in our mastermind, we had a thread going, started earlier this week. One of our mastermind members asked about lead gen assets, you know setting up lead gen properties and would, you know, if there was, if it was worth bothering going after organic listings. And I quickly chimed in and said, no not anymore, in my opinion not at all anymore. Because from my own business and the types of … you know I deal mostly with contractors, organic listings only when I don’t have a maps listing, all I have is organic listings, my call volume dropped by like 60% and it’s remained that way now ever since the search engine results pages have changed to be 3 or 4 ads and then the maps pack.

So organic, people have to go by 6 or 7 listings before they ever get to the first organic listing. And so, for me and for my business, I literally stopped working on organic listings at all. Like I focus 100% on maps and ad words now for lead gen and that’s it. Unless I’m doing like YouTube SEO, or something like that, where I can’t get into maps and then I’ll work on organic stuff. But for like website stuff, I typically don’t try to write the website in organic anymore. I’ll just stick strictly to maps and in ad words.

And then I’ll do some like, I’m doing a lot of press release stuff now, so press releases will often rank in organic as well. But I don’t really focus on trying to rank them, the website. So just to answer your question, Herovic, I would say, yes I would absolutely go after those still, but I would focus on maps ranking. But the conversation or the debate, or the discussion, it wasn’t really a debate, the discussion we were having in the mastermind this week, you know there was one of our other members chimed in and said no his organic listings are crushing it. I don’t know what industry he’s in, or what industries he’s in, but I can tell you from my own industry from across the dozens of sites that I manage both lead gen and client sites, organic listings have really tanked as far as the number of leads they generate. Where maps leads and ad words leads are still crushing it for me.

So … any comment guys?

Marco: Yeah I would say it depends, man. I would say that if you’re seeing yellow pages and everything for a really for an important key word, a key word with a lot of competition. The time and effort it’s gonna take to rank for it is probably not going to be worth it because you’ll end up not, probably not being able to rank rather quickly. I mean, YouTube is a totally different story, you’ve seen what we can do with YouTube, Bradley.

Bradley: Yep.

Marco: We’re talking about strictly organic rankings right. But if it’s a long tail, it could be that Google is not finding any other relevant results local to display. Right? Or relevant enough, so they just go grab directories and they throw them up because that’s what they usually do. So it could be that it’s a really good opportunity to rank for that long tail. I would just say that it has to depend and it just has to be on your list to do. But, yeah your priority, if it’s, if your niche is driven by calls, it’s that three pack. You gotta be in that three pack.

Bradley: Yep.

Marco: If it isn’t, if you’re in a niche that you know isn’t call driven or maybe there isn’t even a three pack, you might be able to force a three pack on the page or you can try for that top organic ranking and try to get other assets ranked in there, like we’ve shown time and again. But I mean it depends, this is a … it totally depends on what the key word and niche are.

Bradley: Very good. Any other comments guys? Okay.

Marco: Good.

Is It Possible To Use Post Offices As The Satellite Locations To Dominate A Number Of Local Areas Using Google Places?

Bradley: Scott says to dominate a number of local areas using Google Places, is it possible to use post offices as the satellite locations? Then once I get the verification card, use the option to not display the address? Will Google shut this strategy down? Is anyone doing this?

Scott that’s the strategy that we’ve been teaching since we opened in … since we launched Semantic Mastery. So that’s the same strategy I’ve been using for years now. Will Google shut it down? Maybe, I don’t know how they would do it though because that … I mean there’s a lot of people that have done that now, like legit reasons too, not just spammers like us. You know what I mean?

So, what I’m saying is that you know there’s always a possibility that Google might shut it down, but while it’s still working, I absolutely use it. And so what you do is you can’t just use a post office, you gotta, or a P.O. Box, you gotta use the street address option.

Let me just show you something real quick, I’ll post this on the page. This is it. This is the agreement. It’s just a PDF that you sign … you fill out, it doesn’t cost any additional money at all when you rent a P.O. Box, and that’s why I have this in my bookmarks cause I use it all the damn time. But yeah, all you do is when you sign up for your P.O. Box you fill out this form and submit it, again it doesn’t cost anything else, but you submit it when you go in to sign the paperwork for the P.O. Box and then you get to use the post office street address with a box number.

So essentially it’d be like 123 Main Street number or pound sign, you know 101. And they’re really anal about how you list it. Like in, if you’re gonna be getting mail, like they don’t want it to say suite or box or number, they want it to be the literally the pound sign. And every single time I’ve ever got a P.O. Box, they really drive that point home. So it must be important. But that’s all you do is fill this form out and submit it.

Now one other thing I do wanna mention guys, is go to the USPS site. So usps.com I believe it is. And if you go over here and take a look at where it says look up a zip code, pick that, use that guys and this is a trick that I picked up, I don’t know, probably a year ago and I really haven’t talked about it much. I don’t know why. But this is a good opportunity to share it now.

When you go to format an address for a client, especially if you’re starting a new listing, take whatever the address is that you think it is and come over here to this USPS site, go to the mail and ship, look up a zip code, click on that and from here enter in the street address. You know the street address, the city, state, zip, all that as you know it, or as you think it should be and click find. And on the resulting page, the next page, it’s going to show you the proper standardized formatting of that address. That’s the address type that you should be using in your Google my business listing, across all your citations and everywhere else that you list in an AP.

And the reason I say that is because a lot, and I’ve dealt with this with clients over the years too. I’ve got one right now that I’m dealing this with. Where they had their address formatted incorrectly and it’s not a standardized address, so therefore it screwed up their maps listing and it’s kind of a mess to clean up now because they’ve been in business for quite sometime. But if you have the ability, especially on new properties, you wanna start right out of the gate with it formatted the way the USPS tells you is the standardized address format, if that makes sense. So, just so you know, let me point this out, if you’re gonna do it for a P.O. Box, I’m gonna show you the proper way to do it.

Because I had this wrong, I’ve got dozens of listings out there that are absolute … that are wrong, but it would be like this, lets say the post office was on 123 Main Street and the box number they gave you was 101. I used to do this, 101, right. So number sign 101 and also you know inside of Google my business and a lot of the directory sites they have address line one and address line two and I used to put the box number in address line two. I would do that especially in the Google my business profile because, the GMB profile a lot of times would strip the box number out of the displayed address. It would be in the backend, in the dashboard, but it wouldn’t show in the displayed address. So I started putting it on the first line as well and skipping the second line but what I found was that I had it wrong. It’s supposed to be this, excuse me, with a space between it. And if you use the USPS thing, it’ll show you that.

So it would be 101 or, you know 123 Main Street space pound space then the box number and then you would put you know any town whatever, state, zip, that kinda stuff. Does that make sense?

Bill: Yeah.

Bradley: Okay. So that’s a little trick guys. But here this, I’ll put this on the page for you. This is the P.O. Box pdf. I pull it up about once every three or four weeks. Alright that’s a great question Scott. But yeah, absolutely that’s how I’ve done it for years. I stopped using like virtual mailboxes. It’s funny but we had another person in our mastermind just, I think, yesterday post a question about how to get a P.O. Box verified in a city that’s far far away. Right?

And Craigslist is a way that you can do that. I’ve done that in the past too, where you submit an ad on Craigslist and, I’ve always offered to pay somebody a 100 bucks just to receive a post card for me at their home address and typically the type of people that reply to that are renters cause they don’t give a crap what kind of email, or mails getting sent to their house, cause it’s not their house, ya know what I mean? So but I mean it’ll work even in an apartment. So you know a lot of the times … I mean I haven’t done it very … I haven’t even done it in about 2 years but you know that’s another way, is to use Craigslist to tell somebody that’s got a residential property and say hey look I wanna send a postcard to your address.

But the last thing Scott, is absolutely after you verify the address, you wanna go back in, if it’s a service area business. Right? If you have a point of sale, you don’t wanna spam that guys. You can’t spam that because if you got, if customers come to the business location, you can’t put a P.O. Box. Right? Because that’s wrong. They’re gonna drive to the post office. So it has to be a service area type business that you do this with in my opinion and then you can hide the address to where all it will show is the city that it’s located in. Okay.

Lem: That’s common sense right there.

Bradley: Well you’d be surprised, I’d tell somebody yeah use a P.O. Box and then they’d set it up for a point of sale and then cuss me about it. Ya know?

Can You Share Some Tips On What We Can Do To Take Advantages Of Being A Part Of Google Local Guides?

Alright, Ivan’s up, says Hey guys, I’m starting to be active in Google Local Guides: I’m at level 3 now. Can you share some tips on what we can do to take advantage of being a part of that program?

Ivan, as far as I know, and I’ll let Marco talk a little bit about this cause he’s at like, are you at level 10 yet Marco?

Marco: Not yet. I could have been but they erased about 75,000 points the other day and so I’m back down to 7.

Bradley: Oh really? Okay. Okay.

Marco: Yeah, that’s how it goes.

Bradley: You know Ivan some of the power of it in my, from what I’ve been able to see is just the ability to make, like I’m at level 5, almost at level 6. For me it’s been able to make map edits for like client properties and stuff or my own lead gen stuff that needs to be done that they get approved right away, usually instantaneously at this point now. I don’t have to wait for any sort of moderator to edit or to review my edits. Which has been, really beneficial for client work mainly, for people that have had maps issues that I’ve been able to correct.

But also there’s a lot of power and one of our mastermind members, Wayne Clayton, he’s always on these drop in gifs on these event pages. But he’s a top level guide, I think now, he was before they changed the point scale at least. And he’s really built up his agency by using Google Local Guides as kind of a foot in the door strategy. He’s got some really cool strategies that he’s done with that, that he shared with us in the mastermind. I can’t share them with you here without his permission, but some really good strategies on that. So, perhaps if Wayne is on this webinar like he typically is or if he watches it at a later date, he might be able to share some information with you Ivan. I’ll leave that up to him.

Marco you wanna comment on that, or anybody else for that matter?

Marco: I think you covered that pretty well, there’s a lot of power in images, right?

Bradley: Yep.

Marco: And adding images for companies, adding logos getting a lot of stuff, making map edits when you get high enough and enough trust. It’s really simple. But one of the side benefits is that at some point you’ll get an invitation for future Google products.

Bradley: Awesome.

Marco: Right? Products and services and you get first crack at it when you get accepted into it. Like I know that they gave people 360 cameras to go around and take those 360 pictures and that kind of stuff. So that was one of the benefits. I wasn’t in early enough to take advantage of that. I submitted my … or at least I received the invitation to participate, I filled out the, it’s really click and you accept the terms and that’s it.

Bradley: Yep.

Marco: Then they contact you and let you know, okay we’ll contact you and let you know when something needs to be tested in your area. It’s that kind of deal. So, it’s being on the inside kinda. That really helps.

What Are Your Thoughts On YouTube TV?

Bradley: Hey I got a question for Lem and Bill because you guys are on and this isn’t on the page but I just got notification like I think Monday that YouTube TV is now available like you can subscribe for $35 a month in the Washington DC area it just became available. Like on Monday I got the notification. And like lets briefly have a quick chat about the implications of YouTube now offering TV and like the opportunity that’s there for super targeted advertising now because people are watching what they choose to watch instead of what the media, you know like the network channels force us to watch. You know and so I think there’s a ton of opportunity. I think YouTube is going to be cutting into cable and like satellite TV’s companies’ market share like considerably.

And so what do you guys think about all that?

Bill: I think that’s what they wanna do. I haven’t really looked into it too much but yeah I totally agree with you it’s gonna like, I mean they wanna take over.

Bradley: Yeah.

Bill: You know what I mean? If you just look at how many people who are hanging out on YouTube, you know at any given minute of the day, their market is huge.

Bradley: Yeah.

Bill: You know what I mean?

Bradley: And as far as …

Lem: I think they test …

Bradley: Go ahead Lem, I’m sorry.

Lem: I think kinda tested that a little, I could be wrong, but I kinda have the feeling they tested that with the YouTube Red just to see …

Bradley: Right.

Lem: … how many people would pay for uninterrupted, you know, video streaming. So since they thought well, you know, if we can do that then let’s start introducing this out to airs. Like I got a notification from my buddy that is a big YouTube marketer here in Dallas and he told me that YouTube TV was now here in Dallas and I saw it and I thought oh that’s available. But I did not know, I didn’t think at the time how that’s gonna be beneficial for us marketers. Well now I see where you’re going with that because …

Bradley: Hell yeah.

Lem: It’s in the area, it’s right here locally. That’s powerful. Ya know?

Bradley: Yeah well not only that but the difference is, you know, typical TV type advertising is, there’s demographic data about who, like what type of people, so what the demographics are of the people are watching particular TV programs. So they try to target their messaging, their advertising to people that fall within a demographic. But you guys, all of, everybody on this webinar should know about how that’s a shot gun approach. It’s a very, it’s not a very efficient way to market because you’re just blasting your message out there because it fits a certain demographic and you hope that some people will take some action on it.

Whereas with YouTube, you guys know, we can get super super targeted as to where our ads are only being shown to people that are most likely to click. And that’s, I’m talking about doing YouTube advertising, I mean you can … there’s still opportunity obviously with SEO and stuff like that. But I’m talking about, I think right now while YouTube subscription TV is like just now being rolled out is a great time to really hone advertising, YouTube, or ad words for video skills. Because I think in the coming year or two that you know a lot of like network TV and cable TV and DirecTV, you know satellite services and stuff like that are gonna take a significant hit as more and more people shift to online, on demand style programming where we can get right in front of people with our ads and our messages for super cheap, at least for now.

It probably won’t last that long, stay cheap for long. But at least get our ads in front of highly targeted audiences that are most likely to click, if that makes sense. So.

Bill: Yeah and I’m sure they’ll be doing stuff like original content too, like Netflix does, you know and Amazon and stuff like that. Because that’s like really getting popular with the success of House of Cards and …

Bradley: Yeah.

Bill: And so if their gonna, I dunno if you’ll be able to advertise on shows like that but, it’s a huge opportunity like you said.

Bradley: Yep, I agree.

Marco: Yeah. And that’s one of the things that we all, that we always like. You know that we always like mention the importance of video marketing right? For local businesses, for general businesses that are region wide or even nationwide businesses. Like, I think we, when we launch Video Powerhouse we talked a little bit about the opportunity on that. And maybe I can hand down for those videos or Adam could, you know. But the opportunity that there is with video marketing.

And I think this is another great opportunity. I know for a fact that Facebook is also looking to get into that kind of market, where you can actually advertise on people’s TVs. Or because, there’s pretty much no difference between advertising on a computer or a mobile phone or a smart TV right now, ya know?

Bradley: Right.

Marco: So if you can get a little piece of the pie of, for example, when people are watching House of Cards and you can really hone it down, like the amount of data that you’re working with is amazing. And YouTube still prevails as the number two search engine in the world, Amazon being number three. So I think there’s a big opportunity for all of us here in terms of marketing and how to approach those platforms and also video marketing. I still think that video is king, that’s why you know we develop Video Powerhouse, we were still doing a lot of stuff with video. So yeah, I think that everyone of us here should be either for their own businesses or for clients, should be thinking about the possibility of start doing videos for marketing, getting into YouTube advertising. Because, yeah I agree the more, the more people get in, it happened to Facebook. Like it’s really hard right now to get, I dunno, 5 cents per click as we used to have, you know, like 2 years ago because everyone is now advertising over there. So yeah, there’s an opportunity right now.

Bradley: Right.

Lem: Real quick, I don’t know if you guys have Sirius satellite radio but …

Bill: I do.

Lem: … I listen to it all the time and I notice, believe it or not I listen to a lot of EDM music because of working out and trying to get stuff done fast but they sponsor, YouTube sponsored a show, a few shows on the EDM on the Sirius Satellite radio. And I was impressed with that because I thought, man YouTube’s putting their word everywhere.

Bradley: Yeah.

Lem: They’re starting to do things, they’re making a shift. And so, yeah I’ve always praised on YouTube and how it’s gonna be big, it’s gonna be a big John, it’s still there, it’s not gonna end.

Bradley: Google wants to take over as much, like as they can. Like they wanna be like the federal government and get their hands in everything. So it’s funny because like you said, like they’re … taking over. I mean now you’re talking about satellite radio, we’re just talking about TV and video on demand and now you’re talking about satellite radio and you’re right. So that’s what I’m saying, their tentacles are extending into just about everything and so you know …

Bill: And what’s their model … motto? Don’t be evil?

Bradley: Yeah.

Marco: Yeah right.

Bill: That’s what it used to be.

Bradley: Alright guys, let’s roll through the next few, I know we didn’t get to all of them guys and there’s no way we’re going to today. But I do wanna try to run through a few more very quickly. We got about 10 minutes left.

How Do You Handle Your SEO And Lead Gen Business While You Are In Vacation?

Mohammad Makki says hey guys, so recently I’ve been getting more traction with my SEO/lead-gen business, and while it’s been successful, I started thinking about taking a vacation. How do you guys handle vacations, at least when you started out? I didn’t take any Mohammad.

Bill: Yeah.

Bradley: I’m not gonna lie, when I started out I didn’t take a vacation, my first full vacation, I had gone 5 years without any vacations because I just, I couldn’t leave my business. But, I don’t recommend that for anybody, by the way.

Bill: Yeah.

Bradley: Do what … Adam and Hernan and Chris, three of my partners, they do a lot of traveling and they get a lot of work done. Personally, I can’t get much work done when I travel. So I just, and I don’t like to travel much anyways. So when I do travel, I try to just like do as little as possible when it comes to work. But you know maybe take some advice from Adam and Hernan and Chris and our partners and anybody else that wants to chime in because I see that they get, they do a lot of traveling and they still get all their work done, so.

Bill: Lem does too, Lem is always on vacation, ask him.

Lem: I just got back from Montreal and Florida. It’s tough. Imma tell you, it’s tough but if you have things in order, it makes it much simpler to work with but if you’re just like trying to drag stuff outta your butt, and you’re just trying to get things done, it’s impossible because you have family, why are you on your computer, what are you doing this and that.

Bill: Yep. Yep.

Lem: But you know you have to send out your information to your people to get stuff done and you just checking email basically and hopefully everything is running right, that’s all I got to tell you.

Adam: Yeah I think the one thing I would say to is, Bradley I forgot how you said this but I mean this kinda goes back to point of fuck you or what you said about like you know cover your costs, like you’ve gotta, you know you work your ass off, you bust your ass to get your cost covered. Because once you get there, then you got some breathing room. You know.

Bradley: Right.

Adam: There’s no vacation until you cover your cost. But then you can start to look at okay now that I’ve got my cost covered, once I get that extra 20 bucks, literally, like go hire someone. Use that 20 bucks, hire a VA. Now you’ve got two hours free, what can you do with that? You should be able to make $100. Take that money, buy some more time and start optimizing things that way. And not just money, but then you kinda have the time to say okay I’m gonna take Wednesday afternoons and I’m gonna read for an hour on how to organize my shit so that I’m not freaking out all the time.

Bradley: Yeah.

Adam: Right. Stuff like that.

Bradley: Yeah.

Adam: So that’s my two sense.

Hernan: Yeah and I totally agree, with the guys here. Like, the reality is that initially you don’t take any vacations at all. Like for the first, when you’re steaming ahead, unless you’re launching like you’re second or third company when you already have a structure in place or you already have the funds or you already have a business coming in, that when you’re starting off from scratch, you don’t take any vacations at all until that’s producing right. Now the second company or maybe the second business or the second project is easier because you already have all of the resources that …

Bradley: Right.

Hernan: So for example, if you hire a VA, the first one is always the most difficult, because you need to train him. But then, you can use that VA or that help to any other business that you launch. So I think it gets easier, but again you never stop doing stuff. Like for example, I’m in Florida right now and I purposefully looked for a place that had good wifi, good access to places that I could work, because I knew that I would be staying here for awhile. So, those are some of the things that you need to have in mind.

Like if you want to travel and work, you need to have those things in mind and yeah have kind of a back up with a team. I have like the pleasure and the good luck of working with amazing people, which you know is the guys here at Semantic Mastery. So we cover each other a lot, but we are also building our own team separately you know for some other stuff. So you need to … and it gets easier, like you never stop doing stuff, but you just do higher lever stuff, if that makes sense.

Bradley: One last comment I wanna give on that one question and I still wanna try to get through a few more of these very quickly. But, Mohammad something else that has made in the last two months or so that I’ve been using it, and I’m looking at it right now, it sits in front of me all day I carry it around with me, is the 5 minute journal. Or excuse me, that’s the one I started with originally but then I switched to, its called the Best Self Journal. It’s absolutely amazing. It’s a paper journal, you bring it around, carry it around, you know, it’s small. But you carry it around and you write every single day and I’ve been doing this now for about two months.

But I spend about 15-20 minutes every single morning, planning my day out, scheduling my day. And I can spend more time scheduling out several days and I literally write out, the goal with the Best Self journal, is to leave no white space. What that means there’s no unproductive time throughout the day. And so I literally have from 6:00 AM until about 8:00 PM at night scheduled in my journal and that way I’m getting so much more stuff done and I’m so much more focused because now when I start to get distracted with anything, period and I start to get off track, because I have the 5 or excuse me, the Best Self journal in front of me all the time, all I have to do is glance down at it and then it reminds me that I’m off track because I’m seeing what I wrote down that I spent time in the morning planning for the day.

And I can see oh wait a minute, I shouldn’t be messing around with these stupid emails that aren’t gonna do anything for me. I’m looking at JV zoo offers and crap like that, I should be doing what the hell I wrote in my book that I’d be doing during this time. And that kinda stuff has really kept me on track and I’ve been able to increase productivity significantly in the last couple months because of it. And it’s helped me to avoid being distracted by all the bullshit offers that come through email and as well as all the Facebook crap that goes on and all that other kinda stuff. And it’s been helping me to focus in on my projects and my campaigns that I’m working on.

Adam: Oh go ahead sorry.

Bill: Sorry. What do you do as far as the fires that pop up, Bradley?

Bradley: Well …

Bill: That’s my problem.

Bradley: You can’t do anything about those but put 'em out, unless you got firefighters on staff. You know what I mean, like VAs and stuff that can do it for you. And in my case there, I have a lot of Virtual assistants and stuff that take care of some of that but there are certainly stuff that or events that happen that I have to take care of. And so you just handle it. I mean ya know, you have to. But the whole idea with properly planning your day and stuff like that is to allow for to have some buffer time.

Bill: Right.

Bradley: Like an hour for, you know, reading emails and putting out fires, if that makes sense.

Bill: Right.

Bradley: That way instead of me checking my email 40 times a day, like I have in the past, now I’ll check it in the 30 minutes that I have scheduled for it. And I’ll reply then …

Bill: Right.

Bradley: And if a fire pops up then I just won’t check email for a while while I go put the fire out, if that makes sense.

Bill: Yeah. Yep.

Adam: One more last minute recommendation to, I forgot who asked this question, but whoever it was and everyone else, check out the book called Deep Work by Cal Newport. If you’re not a reader, check it out on audible. It’s amazing. This guy’s a computer scientist and has applied like a ton of logic to working things out. This guy was like a prolific graduate student, which and got his PhD and that’s known for just being like an insane time in his life and he was able to work basically a 9 to 5.

Bill: Wow.

Adam: And gone on to become a professor and he writes about this stuff. It’s really neat and some cool principles you can apply in business and building it and saying hey I still wanna have a life, I wanna be insanely productive, how do I make those two work?

Bill: Yep. Cool.

Bradley: Okay, I’m gonna try to run through this really quickly guys. I know we only got like a minute left but I was hoping to get through a couple more of these real quick.

When Should You Consider Running A Separate Campaign For A Keyword That Is Performing Better On An Existing Campaign In Google Adwords?

Mohammed the last, the second part of your question both of those are basically the same keyword but they’re in different order. So as far as creating an alpha campaign, no those don’t need separate single keyword ad groups for those. I would just put both of those, it’s the same keyword string, it’s just in a different order. So those two I would add into the same ad group, the same alpha campaign ad group. Okay that’s only because it’s the exact same keyword.

If there was any variation, it would depend on whether it was considered a close variant or not. But in this case, I would put both of those in the same ad group within the alpha campaign.

Did You Already Have Some Problem With Like Recipes In IFTTT?

Alexander, you’re asking about the like recipes, yes if you’ve already liked a video, you can’t like it again and you can’t unlike it and then like it again and have it trigger the syndication. It won’t work. So, if you basically, it has to be a new channel that’s liking it for the first time after the applet had been set up for it to trigger it. However, there’s another way that you can do it too, although that’s only for newer videos, I believe. And that would be to use the subscription applets. The ones that will trigger on new upload from a channel that you’ve subscribed to, but yeah that would only work for newer videos.

It wouldn’t retroactively go syndicate videos from the channel that already existed before you subscribed. It wouldn’t do that. So unfortunately, here’s an option though Alexander. Here’s something else that you can do that I’ve done many many times is just set up, use your blogger blog for example or any blogger blog for that matter and just attach it, connect it to the same IFTTT network, or, you know, syndication network. And set it up to where it, you can use blogger or Tumblr. Like Tumblr video post, whatever, to where anytime you upload a video, or you want to give another syndication boost to a particular video, just go create a post on Tumblr and publish the video post. And now Tumblr will syndicate through it’s RSS feed to all of the properties in the network so that it basically re-syndicates that video.

It’s an iframe inside of a Tumblr but who cares? You know what I mean? You still get the syndication trigger. So my point is just set up a second trigger blog. It could be a blogger or Tumblr or wordpress, it doesn’t really matter. Typically I’ll use Tumblr or blogger for that because wordpress’ sites are getting shut down a little bit easier now. So I would use one of those, but then just set that up as a separate trigger.

Alright, Scott, I would say right now RYS Academy or Drivestacks as well as press releases along with just validating the entity with IFTTT or syndication networks. A very powerful way, that’s what I’m doing. I’m doing a lot of local stuff right now and killing it. So.

Bill: Or [inaudible 00:55:06].

Bradley: Yeah that too if you’re doing video SEO that’s absolutely right.

Bill: Right.

If You Want To Include A Video In An Article You Are Curating Do You Just Provide The Link Or Embed The Video?

Bradley: Really quickly I’m gonna answer Columbia Jones’ cause she’s here all the time guys and then we have to wrap it up and I really apologize guys. I see a bunch of press release questions here, guys I can’t. The press release stuff that I’ve been sharing the details, that’s strictly for mastermind members as I develop our press release training course that we’re coming out with, that I’m working on now. I can’t share any of that stuff outside of mastermind. Mastermind has it’s privileges. If you guys want that kind of information before anybody else gets it, that’s what the mastermind’s about. Unfortunately, I can’t share that here. So, you know, guys you just have to be patient. We’re gonna be releasing a training course on like how to just freaking crush it with press releases but it’s gonna be at least probably another 6 or 8 weeks before we’re … probably 8 to 10 weeks before that comes out. So you just have to be patient.

Columbia says, if you want to include a video in an article you are curating do you just provide the link or the embed? I do the embed, Columbia. And I saw that you asked a question about are they any particular things to be concerned about when using a video besides the obvious giving appropriate attributions? If you’re using a YouTube video, the very nature of it being on YouTube means that you can embed it on your site. You are expressly giving permission for that video to be shared as long as it’s just like a shared embed code that kind of stuff anywhere when you upload a video to Google, or to YouTube. That’s in their terms of service. If it’s on YouTube, you can embed it on your, it doesn’t matter. Even if they sent you a message and asked you to take it down, the thing is if it’s a public video, they can’t … they’re agreeing to anybody being able to grab it and embed it and share it and that kind of stuff. If they don’t want that, they can put it to private. Right?

Marco: If I can just add real quick, Columbia, go watch the iframe video please. I know that she has, well I don’t know if we made that available in with the battle plan. I think she got the battle plan. I’m not sure which one it is we made available, but go … I think that’s, is that public? Or is that anywhere? Can we give her the link to that? Just go watch that, the iframe video, the iframe webinar cause you can get just … the power behind iframes. We can’t minimize it, I wish I could go more into it. I never have enough time to get everything out that I need to regarding iframes. But you need to iframe everything, that means embed.

Bradley: Wayne, time management tip. Cut out any offers from anyone who uses Todd Gross as their spokesman.

Bill: So it’d be like every offer?

Bradley: It’s saved me a hundred hours this week alone.

Bill: Every offer then.

Bradley: That’s awesome guys. Alright, well guys I’m sorry about the rest of the questions but this was a really really good Hump Day Hangouts and it was awesome to have you guys with us. Sorry there weren’t more video questions guys.

Bill: We’ll come back again. I need to start getting on these more often, cause …

Bradley: You guys are welcome anytime, so.

Marco: Yep.

Lem: Appreciate it man, appreciate it. I took notes.

Bill: I saw you doing that Lem.

Lem: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’ve been out of the SEO website game for a while. I used to be a beast at it but then I’m like, I’m sticking with YouTube.

Bradley: Yeah.

Lem: A lot of the stuff you were saying, I was like oh that makes sense, that makes sense but I get it now. So I’m good.

Bradley: Yeah you’re better off man, sticking with what you’re good at because website SEO has become so much more complex over the last couple of years.

Lem: Yeah.

Bradley: Unless you’ve got the wherewithal to do it, the testicular fortitude, then don’t do it.

Alright guys, thanks everybody for being here. We’ll see you.

Bill: Alright.

Hernan: Thanks guys.

Adam: Bye.

Weekly Digital Marketing Q&A – Hump Day Hangouts – Episode 142 published first on your-t1-blog-url