#and why he wanted to be Elrond for Halloween last year

[bilboyagathechickenfootedhobbit]

My kid keeps saying he wants to be a cop, sorry, pOLiCe OfFiCeR, and like……I have to remind myself that he’s SIX and he doesn’t KNOW cops, so in his mind he sees it as a way to help people and keep people safe and help society follow rules and justice, all of which are things he’s super big on, which is GOOD! Young boys should grow up feeling a sense of duty to their community, and with a desire to help those that cannot help themselves. Young girls have that instilled in them from birth, but most people raise young boys to think that it’s women’s jobs to do all the caring and nurturing and frankly, I’m over it. If men want to be protectors, fine. Raise protectors. Raise young boys who see the injustices on the playground and speak up about them. Raise young boys who understand the differences and diversity of people and who work to bring equity to situations. Raise young boys who want to be cops, lawyers, judges, politicians, not for power or money but because they want to right the wrongs of the world. Raise young boys who recognize their privilege in this world and USE IT FOR GOOD.

So I have to remind myself that my son doesn’t want to be a cop because he wants to bully and harm people; that’s my understanding of law enforcement after four decades in America. He wants to do good and in his mind, law enforcement is the best way to do that. And I need to encourage that sense of justice and his willingness to help, because society is going to spend the rest of his life trying to squash the compassion out of him because it’s “girly” to care. He is constantly asked if he is a girl because he’s very gnc and pretty, but also because he is very compassionate and gentle. I want him to know that his kind heart is an asset, that being kind and looking out for people is how men SHOULD behave, despite what society tells him. That if he wants to be a protector, then his ability to care and relate to others will take him much farther than a propensity towards violence will. Protecting doesn’t always mean violence. Sometimes protecting people means codifying laws, or providing more societal support. Men don’t want to believe that they can protect women any other way than violence against other men. There are better ways to help and protect women and children. And if my kid still wants to be a cop in twelve years, I hope that it’s still because he wants to do good in the world and help serve his community. I have faith in him (and my parenting) and his sense of right and wrong.