#and why are you holding me accountable for only reposting my mutuals??

[its-actually-minicika]

I wasn't going to address this, because it feels very childish. But I've blocked my share of hate anons, and they just wouldn't stop.

This is starting to get out of hand and to be honest it's scary.

If you don't like me or my content, please just block me. What did I even do to you, to deserve such a strong response? Some of the messages aren't even about my fanfics, they're just spewing terrible threats for no reason.

I've turned off the anon asks for now, because I'm literally going to have a panic attack.

I pondered on posting what those people wrote to me, but I think that's just going to give them what they wanted in the first place.

Please just leave me alone.

[jazzthatonewriterchick]

Siren Song 🧜🏽‍♀️🧜🏾‍♀️🧜🏿‍♀️ (Zoro x Sanji x Black!Mermaid!Reader 18+ One Shot)

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Pairing: Zoro Roronoa x Sanji Vinsmoke x Black!Fem!Reader (Strangers to Lovers)

Synopsis: In which the siren song that you sing in hopes of finding someone to free you from your curse attracts more than one mate when two of the most notorious and wanted pirates come to search your cave after a shipwreck.

Warnings: Smutty Smut; 18+ (MINORS GTFO); Post Time Skip; Strangers to Lovers; Mermaid!Reader; Black-coded!Reader; Interspecies Sex (kinda); Hypnotism; Seduction/Coercion; Dubcon (but enthusiastic consent is later given); Dom!Zoro & Sanji; sub!Reader; Threesome; Mutual Oral (Giving & Receiving; Sloppy Cunnilingus + Analingus; Anal Play/Fingering; Double Deepthroat; Facefucking; Cock Drunk; Reader Cums 2x; Unprotected Vaginal & Anal Sex; Double Penetration; Creampie; Analpie; Happy Ending

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters mentioned in this fic (except for Snowbeard). However, as this is my writing, I do not give permission for my work to be reposted on any other sites that are not from my own accounts. Thank you!

Writer’s Note: I had meant to post this in October for spooky season, but that month just wasn’t making time for me lmaoo. Work has been whooping my whole ass. So I decided to post it now for MerMay! I hope y’all like it! -Jazz 💙💙

*Note: "Ma chéri" means "my darling" in French!

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Another lonesome night among the ocean waves. ‘What a fucking curse indeed,’ you think to yourself, solemnly sighing.

You sit on a flat-surfaced rock, perfect for perching, connected to a series of rocks that lead up to a jagged, rocky mountainside where your cave lies. The soft waves, darkened by night and crystalized by the full, bright moon suspended in the sky, crash against the sandy shore leading into the deep, dark, cavernous cave you call your home.

What you wouldn’t give to have a real house with a real, fluffy bed and kitchen. For the past year, you’ve been eating nothing but fish, seaweed, and crabs, which are all good when cooked over a fire, but damn, you wouldn’t mind a bowl of steaming ramen or sashimi. Not to mention a hot shower.

All of which are not available when you’re a mermaid.

Or a mer-person. Whatever you’d like to call it. Either way, you have a fin instead of legs. It’s a quite beautiful fin–a gorgeous shade of turquoise with shimmering scales that look like diamonds in the sun and moonlight. You also have gills on the side of your ribcage, scales that run up and down your arms, and a seashell bra that you made yourself to hold your breasts up.

Otherwise, you’d just be topless. It has been your only attire for a year now.

You don’t even know what your legs look like anymore. Are they the same as they were a year ago? Could you even walk anymore? You’ve been swimming for so long that you’re not sure you’ll even know how to move your legs once this curse breaks…if it ever breaks.

You’ve been trying for so, so long. The only way to do so is to attract a mate from among the sea with your siren song and lure them to you where you’d proceed to persuade them to give you ultimate pleasure.

Or, bluntly speaking, in order to break the curse, you have to sing a song to attract a man and have him fuck you until you cum.

Then, and only then, will the curse be broken and you’d have your legs back. At least that was what the creepy sea witch told you when you went rummaging around in her shit. God, you wish you could turn back time and redo that entire night. That was the night your entire life changed for the worse.

A year ago, you weren’t a half-human half-fish. A year ago, you were a beautiful, strong, curious human woman who sailed across the Grand Blue in search of adventure. You had no family or friends, so why not just explore the world?

You had been sailing for only a couple months when you stumbled across a strange seaside cave. You had parked your boat near the mountainside before grabbing your sword and exploring the many trinkets and curious creatures of the deep inside the cave.

When you first stumbled across the treasure chest sitting on a lone rock there, you knew you shouldn’t have touched it. But temptation and curiosity got the best of you. So you took your sword and cracked it open by wiggling the blade’s tip around in the padlock.

The chest cracked open instantly, revealing various, glittering stones that could have definitely bought you a bigger boat and a sack of food. You snatched it up and prepared to leave with it…only for your legs to give out on you completely.

With a squeak, you tripped and fell onto the sandy ground, the chest falling with you and spilling all of its goodies. “Da fuck?” you whispered, confused. You looked back at your legs and feet, wondering what’s gotten into them, only to find that they have been replaced with a slippery, flopping tail fin. You screamed, your horror echoing throughout the cave.

“Be quiet, bitch!” a raspy voice ordered. Immediately, your lips stuck together like they were made of glue and no matter how hard you tried to move them apart, nothing worked. You still screamed but your voice was muffled. Quickly, you grabbed your sword from the sand and turned to look behind you at the owner of the disembodied voice.

A woman stood there, dressed in black rags that hung down to her cracked feet and blackened toenails. Her fingers were boney, long, and ringed, her skin an ashen gray color. Hair like seaweed hung in her face where you caught the glitter of many piercings and two coal-black eyes that pierced down at you from where you helplessly lay on the sand.

“Stupid girl,” she snarled, walking right by you with her skirts in her hands. “You should’ve known better than to have come here snooping about. Don’t you know that this is the sea witch’s turf?”

She kneeled down before you, stinking of dead fish and something rotten. You covered your nose at the stench, making her cackle. “Not impressed by me?” she asked, grinning at you with blackened teeth. “Well, I’m not impressed by you either. You’re just another stupid human coming to steal my shit.”

She began to pick up each of her stones, muttering to herself about how dumb mortals are and how they’re only driven by greed. You began to wiggle around, trying to make it to the cave’s exit, but your tail only provided you some movement. Other than that, you were completely stagnant.

Once the witch got her treasure chest together, she stared down at you as if she just realized you were there and were nothing more than a pestering fly. “Ah,” she cackled. “You’re probably wondering about the tail, hm?”

‘You think, bitch?’ you wanted to scream at her. Instead, you just glared daggers up at her and pointed your sword at her. She barely flinched.

“Oh, please,” she scoffed. “You can’t do anything to me, little girl. I could make that sword a snake or a fucking balloon animal if I wanted to.” She smirked down at you deviously. “But I think turning your legs into a useless tail suffices. That’s what you get for entering my domain.”

You began to scream at her through your closed lips, trying to talk. She rolled her black eyes at you and sighed, snapping her fingers. Your lips loosened and you could finally speak: “What the fuck did you do?!” you angrily hollered. “Give me back my legs now! How am I supposed to move around with this?” You pointed at the tail.

“Beats me,” the witch passively answered. “You should’ve thought about that before you came here. Now you’ll have no choice but to lay in the bed you made and embrace your curse.”

You froze at the last word, your stomach flipping. “Wait…did you say that I’m…cursed?” You practically whispered the last word. The witch just stared at you, her lips curled into a wicked smirk.

You began to beg, desperate to have your body back. “Please, miss,” you pleaded, tears springing into your eyes. “You have to turn me back. I’m sorry for coming into your home and trying to steal your shit, I swear! I-I was just exploring and–“

“Save it.” The witch put up a hand, silencing you. “There is nothing you can do to sway me now. This curse is to teach you to beware of places you shouldn’t go near.”

You stared down in horror at your tail, wondering how the fuck you got here. “What am I supposed to do now?” you sobbed. “You can’t just leave me like this! There has to be something I can do if you can’t!”

The witch’s smirk faded, her eyes steely. Finally, she sighed. “There is one thing,” she said and you listened intently, desperate to do anything to free yourself from this curse. “You must sing a song,” she explained, “but not just any song. This tune is designed to lure males across the waters to you, wherever you are.”

She then closed her eyes and began to sing the words in a cracked, broken voice:

“Where the river meets the sea, and the Grand Blue stretches,

I call to the night and hope my sweet voice beckons

The love of a man, strong, sweet, and true

In hopes that my yearning will meet and embrace you.

My loneliness calls and my need is taking toll

On my body, my mind, my heart, and my soul.

I wish for a love that will free me from my chains,

And help me find the light in the darkness again.”

“What happens after I’ve lured a man to me?” you carefully asked once her song ended.

You felt as if you just had gotten high and were hallucinating when the witch answered you: “When they come to you, they must take your body as it is and give you ultimate pleasure until you both reach the point of no return. Then, and only then, will the curse be broken and your legs will be given back to you.”

You blinked up at her, wondering if she was serious. “So you’re telling me that if I sing a song and I get a guy to fuck me, I’ll get my legs back?” you raged. “Are you fuckin’ for real right now?”

The witch smiled at you, ever the bitch. “You asked and I answered,” she said. “So if you want your legs back, I suggest you start warming up those vocal cords. Good luck, bitch.”

Then, in a cloud of smoke and the sound of a menacing cackle, she was gone along with her treasure chest, leaving you wiggling and squirming around in the dark with your new limb.

After crying out for the witch for over an hour, you finally took your sword, sheathed it, and dragged yourself to the mouth of the cave before plummeting into the ocean. You were shocked at how well you could breathe underwater as well as swim. Your tail adapted immediately which made it easier to explore the ocean floor. It didn’t take long for you to find the cave you now call your new home.

Since that fateful night, you’ve sat on the same rock and sang the same song. No ships yet. And certainly, no dick that could help lift this stupid curse.

But you won’t give up yet. So just like every dark night, you close your eyes and sing the siren song that the witch taught you all that time ago:

“Where the river meets the sea, and the Grand Blue stretches,

I call to the night and hope my sweet voice beckons

The love of a man, strong, sweet, and true

In hopes that my yearning will meet and embrace you.

My loneliness calls and my need is taking toll

On my body, my mind, my heart, and my soul.

I wish for a love that will free me from my chains,

And help me find the light in the darkness again.”

You stare out in the distance for the sight of a ship penetrating the fog among the ocean. Something. A sign of life. Nothing comes. No one is coming for you. After all this time, you’d think you’d understand that.

The tears that drip down your cheeks are fast and fat, plopping into the water that your fin dips in. You sob into your hands, anguish and anger overtaking you. You should’ve known to have never gone into that cave.

Now your entire life is destined to this: singing a stupid song in hopes that a man will come to you and cum in you. Maybe you had died that night in the witch’s cave and are in some watery version of Hell.

After drying your eyes, you slide down the rock and swim through the calm waters back to your cave filled with items from the human world that you’ve collected over time. They are all that reminded you of the life that is now foreign to you. You then drag yourself to a small bed of seaweed and close your eyes, letting the waves and quiet night lull you to sleep.

When you awaken, it isn’t that long later. Actually, you only have a fifteen-minute nap when you are suddenly awakened by voices. You shoot up from your seaweed bed and squint through the darkness of the furthest reaches of the cave. The parts you haven’t explored in the year you’ve been here. You have no idea what is back there, but nothing has bothered you in the time you’ve occupied this space…until now.

The voices grow from harsh whispers in the dark to loud, clear words that echo along the walls. You quickly reach for your sword and hide behind a nearby rock, listening intently on their conversation:

“Move quicker, Mosshead! Nami and Robin are waiting for me back on the ship and I refuse to make them wait any longer!” This voice is deep, undeniably male, and tinged with a slight accent. Maybe French?

The other voice belonging to another male says something under his breath that sounds like Japanese. “You already made ‘em dinner, you simp. They’re not worried about what you do. Now be quiet before I make you.” This voice is much deeper than the other one and raspy.

Though different, both voices are undeniably and incredibly attractive. Sexy, even. They make something stir in your tummy that you thought was long gone.

“Are you sure even this is the right cave?” the French-accented man asks. “Knowing your sense of direction, we could be walking right into the belly of the beast or something.”

“My sense of direction is just fine!” the deep-voiced man growls. The French man just chuckles. “And yes, it is the right cave. This is the exact place that ship got wrecked a couple months ago. You know, the one Snowbeard’s crew was on?”

Snowbeard. You haven’t heard that name in ages, not since he crashed into your cave anyway. You had just been chilling on a rock when his pirate chip ventured on you, blocking out the sun. The next thing you knew, you were fighting off his big, hulking self, his crew, and the nets they tried to use to capture you.

“Take her alive, boys!” the old, white-bearded pirate ordered, grinning greedily at you. “She’ll be worth more if I get her while she’s breathin’!”

You had fortunately escaped thanks to your quick swimming, but didn’t count on them following you. When you dove under the water near your cave, Snowbeard made a miscalculation and crashed into the side of your cave. No one died though––the captain and his crew had managed to retreat on inflatable boats as the old pirate screamed and proclaimed his revenge on you.

“Stupid bitch!” he angrily shouted, shaking his fists at the blue sky above. “I’ll get her. If it’s the last thing I do, I’ll find that mermaid and take her myself, whether she’s alive or dead.”

That scared you half to death to say the least. Since then, you’ve been wary to come out in daylight and Snowbeard’s things have been left to sink to the bottom of the sea or rust in your cave.

“Sooo why are we in here again?” the French man asks. The sound of footsteps draws nearer, coaxing you farther behind the rock. “To look for some loot and take it back to the ship,” the deep-voiced man replies. “Well, for me, at least. You seem to be more interested in that stupid ass song you heard.”

“And that you heard too!” the French man yelps. "Don’t deny it! You wouldn’t be here with me if you didn’t.” You nearly stop breathing. Song? They heard your song? Could they possibly be here for…you?

The deep-voiced man clucks his tongue against the roof of his mouth and you picture him rolling his eyes. “Whatever. I’m more concerned about all that coin that was rumored to be somewhere in here from the shipwreck.”

You can hear him getting closer, the thud of boots unmistakeable. You clutched your sword tighter, angling it in a way that you’ll be able to thrust and stab if they come near you.

Your eyes flit to the cave wall, seeing their shadows flit in the moonlight. They’re getting closer. They’ll find you.

The French man hums indifferently to himself. “Didn’t that song sound…I don’t know…sad to you?” He asks. "And that voice…”

He pauses, sighing wistfully to himself. “It was so, so beautiful, yet so broken. It was filled with such yearning and need and oh, shit!” His adoring rambling is cut short when he happens upon your rock and gets nothing but a sword in his face.

You can now see that his face matches his attractive voice: a square jaw, plump lips, and a green eye that matches his cropped hair and the pants he wears on those thick thighs; pectorals that push against his cotton shirt where you can see a peek of his chiseled abs and tan skin; big, beefy arms and hands that clench at his sides where his swords are.

His partner is just as alluring. He is taller, skinnier, and shorter than the big, buff swordsman…and also more classier dressed. He wears a suit with slacks that cover his long legs and has blond hair that hangs slightly in front of his face, covering one of his grayish-blue eyes. He is just as handsome with a goatee and a cigarette hanging from between his kissable lips. One of his twirly eyebrows raises in surprise at the sight of you.

Meanwhile, the swordsman chooses violence immediately. “What the fuck?” he bellows, immediately reaching for his sword strapped to his hip, but the blonde French man stops him. “Wait, wait!” he shouts. “Don’t touch her!”

The green-haired swordsman glares at him confusedly. “And what? Let her get us with that big ass sword?”

You continue to clutch the sword out, prepared to fight if necessary despite your tail. “Get back,” you growl. “Both of you stay away from me!” You switch between both of them, baring your teeth as if that will make them beware you even more than the sword in their faces.

The blonde pushes the swordsman’s hand down and backs him away from you. “Okay, okay,” he soothingly says. “We’re staying away, not touching you or being threatening in any type of way. We’re sorry we startled you, miss. I-Is this your cave?” He looks around your home, admiring the trinkets.

“Yes,” you snap. “And you two need to leave now if you know what’s good for you.” The swordsman rolls his emerald eye at you. “Relax, lady,” he growls. “We’re just here to check out this cave for shipwreck stuff. We have no interest in you or your…is that a fucking tail?”

You realize they are both now gawking straight at your tail, their eyes trailing over its scales and the fin that flaps about. You squeak in fear, hiding it behind the rock.

“Why…you’re a mermaid!” the blonde gasps, his eyes turning into literal hearts. “What a beauty you have! But, of course, such a beautiful creature deserves one.” He gives you a dashing smile, putting on the charm. “What is your name, may I ask?”

You weigh your options for a moment, deciding whether or not to tell them your name or anything about you. But they don’t seem too threatening, even the swordsman despite his scowl. “Y/N,” you answer.

The blonde bows to you, comically so. “Lovely to meet you, Y/N. I’m Sanji Vinsmoke and this green-headed bitch behind me is–“

“Zoro,” the swordsman rasps. “Roronoa.”

Your ears perk in recognition at the sounds of their names. “From the Strawhats? Monkey D. Luffy’s crew?”

The duo share glances, Sanji looking happier than Zoro that you know who they are. “I know you. You’re part of the most notorious pirate crew in the world. I’ve heard of what you’ve done for others. You…help people.”

You say this last part to yourself as your head travels farther from your body, recounting all of the stories you’ve heard about the Strawhats. For the past several years, you’ve heard of their doings, helping others from across the sea. You’ve always been so impressed in them, admiring their work and their adventures. Now that you’re here meeting two members, you realize just what can be done to help you…hopefully.

“Well, we’ve traveled a bit and have helped a few enslaved villages,” Sanji chuckles, fixing his tie. He peers down at you, his brows knitted in concern. “Are you in need of some sort of assistance, sweet lady? How can we help?”

Zoro elbows him hard, glaring at him and his pain. “Are you nuts?” he growls. “We barely even know her!” Sanji recovers quickly and elbows Zoro back. “Exactly! So maybe this way, we can get to know her!”

Zoro grimaces at the blonde. “Why? So you can get your dick wet? You can’t even do that on the ship with Nami and Robin.”

Sanji’s face suddenly goes redder than a tomato and you nearly see steam coming out of his ears. “Why, you fucking–”

“The song,” you interrupt them. The duo stop their arguing and stare at you cluelessly. “You heard my song.” The realization clears the fog over their faces. Zoro blinks at you, his face in a permanent scowl. “Wait…that was you? You sang that?”

You slowly nod at him, your heart thundering in your chest. So both of them did hear it! That can only mean…

“I told you it was real, you bloke!” Sanji guffaws, slapping his knee. “You thought I was crazy, but–”

“You heard me,” you interrupt him. You’re breathless, feeling winded as the realization hits you: your help is here. Finally. “You came. Then that means…you’re here for me.” You stare up at your two attractive saviors. They can help you. They have the power to do so. Sanji and Zoro give you similarly confused scowls as if you just spoke gibberish.

“Please,” you beg. You put the sword down and reveal yourself to them from behind the rock. You show them your seashell bra, gills, and tail, watching awe register across their faces. “I need your help. I’ve been stuck with this fucking tail for a year now by this stupid witch and now I-”

“Wait, wait, slow down, darling,” Sanji says. “You need to slow down a bit so we can understand you.” His soothing voice coaxes you to stop and take a breath. “Okay,” you sigh, gathering your thoughts. “I’m sorry. It’s just been so long since I’ve spoken to anyone or told anyone about this.” Zoro quirks an interested eyebrow. “About what?” he probes.

And so, you tell them everything from the very beginning of that fateful, dreadful night. You watch them intently as you give them every detail, right down to the witch’s nasty ass toenails. Confusion, awe, and a twinge of fear register across their handsome faces until you finally finish.

Silence swells around you three for a moment, intensified by the cave. “So you’ve been cursed as a mermaid all this time and you sing that song in hopes that someone will come to free you?” Sanji asks.

You frantically nod, though you leave out one important part: that you have to be fucked in order to be freed. And since there are two males who were lured after your song, that means you’ll have to fuck both…which is fine with you. To be honest, they’re attractive enough that you’d probably enjoy it and you’re so horny that you’d fuck anyone at this point…well, maybe you’re reaching with that. You still have standards, curse or not.

“How do we know you’re not lying?” Zoro asks, giving you an accusatory squint with one eye. Sanji gives him a criticizing glare.

“Why would I lie about this, swordsman?” you scoff. “I’m miserable here! I can’t get back home and I’ve lost my entire life because of this!” You point at your tail that swishes around in irritation and impatience, almost like a cat’s tail.

Zoro purses his lips at you. “Which you got from your own choice, might I add.” You flush with anger. Why is he making this so hard for you? “Why should we help you?” he continues, squinting at you. “We don’t even know you.”

“And yet I could’ve killed you from entering my domain,” you shoot back. The swordsman opens his mouth to argue further, but nothing comes out. You’ve stumped him. Sanji sniggers, earning an elbow in the stomach.

“Listen,” you sigh. “I know this is strange, but I wouldn’t be asking you of this if I didn’t need this. And after we’re through, we can part ways like this night never happened.”

The pirates give each other a look, silently conversing with one another before turning back to you. “Well, how exactly do we free you?” Sanji asks.

Oh, right. You didn’t get to that part. “Um…well…” You nervously bite your lip, trying your best to make this sound as normal and less nasty as possible. “You’d have to…make love to me. Something about accepting my body as it is now to free me.”

As you suspected, both men stare at you like you’re unhinged. “I know this sounds insane and you have every reason to refuse, but I’m so desperate right now!” you practically sob. “I’ve been stuck in this body for so long that I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be human.”

You press your hands together in a prayer, fat tears sticking to your lashes. “Please, help me. Please!” Sanji kneels before you, putting a hand on your shoulder. “Shhh, darling,” he hushes you. “I’ll help you.”

Zoro is just as shocked as you are. “Are you serious?” He asks. The love chef looks over his shoulder at the swordsman, sticking his nose up at him. “Well, you’re not exactly making a move. Now leave so we can have some privacy.” He then turns his attention back to you, his eyes filled with lust and charm.

You once again nervously gnaw on your bottom lip, unaware that the act is getting to Sanji and Zoro. “W-Well…it’d have to be both of you since I lured both of you with my song.”

Sonja’s eyes widen and his cigarette falls out of his mouth. “Wait…him too?! Forreal?! He doesn’t even know what to do with a woman!”

Zoro glares at the love chef. “Oh, and you do?” he barks. “Most women run away from your pervin’ ass!”

“But…are you two up for it?” you ask, looking between both of the sexy strangers. The question seems to stump the two who stare at each other, coming to a decision. Finally, Zoro sighs and lowers his swords. “Only if he don’t get in my way,” he grumbles. “And only if you do whatever I say.”

Your heart leaps with joy though you also feel apprehensive. Having sex with strangers is by far the riskiest thing you’ve done in your chaotic life…but if it means getting rid of your curse then so be it. You’ll do anything to be human again!

The men are just as nervous as you are. Zoro clears his throat as he kneels, a blush on his tan cheeks. “So how do we start this?”

Sanji gives you a wobbly smile, an awkward chuckle leaving his lips. “Pardon my nerves,” he sheepishly says. “I’m afraid I can’t make love to a woman if I don’t really know her first.”

You understand and you have a solution. One of the perks of being a mermaid means you have ‘special powers’. “I can help,” you seductively whisper, your tone change shaking the pirates. “Just look at me.”

They do as you say and stare into your eyes. You lock your eyes with them, only needing a few seconds to peer into their minds and deep inside their souls. You take all of their anxiety, all of their stress, and all of their apprehension. You leave nothing but pleasure, calmness, and an undying need for you. The same need you have for them.

Instantly, the pirates are put at immediate ease, both of them sighing, their muscles loosening and their bodies relaxing. Sanji’s eyes flutter closed, his long lashes fanning his cheeks. “Fuck, that feels…nice,” he sighs. “I feel so calm.”

Zoro nods, his thick muscles and shoulders practically melting. “Mmm,” he hums in agreement. “And so…so…fuck, what did you do to us?” He scowls at you, though it is empty. All you can see is lust and need in his pretty, green eyes. All for you. Just the way you want.

“I just used some hypnotism to relax you and make it so your inhibitions won’t be so constrained,” you explain. To put it bluntly, you made them pitifully horny for you.

While Sanji looks surprised, Zoro is livid. “Hypnotism?!” he bellows. “You hypnotized us?! We didn’t…fuck…w-we didn’t ask you to…goddammit!”

He begins breathing heavily, his cheeks flushed and his bottom lip caught between his teeth. Your powers are working overtime on him. Sanji too! The man looks like he can’t wait to get his hands on you, whimpering quietly to himself.

You put a hand on Zoro’s arm, the slightest touch making him jump. You can feel his muscles pulsing under your fingertips, a testament to how needy he is. “Don’t fight it,” you gently tell him. “It will only make it worse.”

Your eyes flicker down to his lap, seeing a hard bulge already making its appearance. Sanji is just as worse off, his cock pressing against his pants. You lick your lips at the lewd sight of both of their dicks straining and throbbing for you. Soon, you’ll have them all to yourself.

You lean in towards Zoro, your eyes falling onto his plump lips. “Please,” you whisper in the small space between your lips. “Help me.”

Suddenly, Zoro stops fighting and gives in to his inhibitions. His green eye darkens, exciting you. “You want our help?” he mutters. “You’re gonna have to beg a little bit better than that.”

Sanji moves behind you, pressing himself against you so you feel the outline of his cock against your backside. “Listen to him, ma chéri,” he teasingly whispers to you. “And since there’s two of us, you’ll have to listen to me too.”

His arms, less bulky than Zoro’s but sill sinewy with muscle, wrap around you. You quietly gasp, your body coming to life. His touch feels so good. So warm. You need more.

“Please,” you whimper. “Please save me. Free me. Just fuck me.” Zoro inhales, taken by your plea, while Sanji laughs in your ear. “So vulgar,” he tsks. “You should’ve said ‘make love’, darling.” His lips begin to lightly peck your neck and shoulders, his kisses warm and soft.

Zoro presses his calloused palm against your cheek, shivering at the way you press your face into his ouch. “Not for a needy thing like her. She needs something more.”

His thumb moves against your boom lip, playing with it. “Don’t you?” he questions. You desperately nod. “Then we’ll give it to you, but we’ll have to do everything we say, understand?” Again, you nod, pressing a kiss to his thumb.

“And tell us exactly how to please you,” Sanji adds. “I’m afraid I’ve never had the pleasure of making love to a mermaid before, and I’m sure Mosshead hasn’t either.” If looks could kill, Sanji would be dead right now from the way Zoro stares at him. “Can we start by kissing?” you nervously ask.

The pirate duo are happy to oblige. “Come here,” Sanji whispers, turning your face to meet him. But before he can lay one on you, Zoro beats him to the punch and moves his head in front of Sanji’s to lay his lips on yours. “Hey!” Sanji growls.

Zoro ignores him, kissing you passionately, the kiss growing more heated and rougher with every second. You both moan into the kiss, diving deeper and deeper into each other’s lips and the feelings it invokes. His kiss is rough and needy; nasty with the way he swirls his tongue with yours; playful with the way he nibbles on your bottom lip and allows you to do the same to his.

You wrap one arm around his neck, bringing him closer to you. His big hands begin to slide down your body, feeling your scales and gills against your fingertips. Sanji does the same, kissing down your scaly back. They don’t shy away or cringe from your imperfections and differences. They treat you like you’re the sexiest, most precious thing in the world to them.

“Turn around, darling,” Sanji whispers. “I want to taste you too.” You tear yourself away from Zoro, but keep one of your arms locked around his head. You do the same to Sanji, letting him put his head through the hole of your other arm to reach you.

He presses his lips to yours, moaning as soon as your mouths touch. His kiss is less rough and urgent than Zoro’s, but it is just as passionate. He takes his time getting to know your mouth, his tongue asking for permission to slip into your mouth by gently caressing your bottom lip. You part your lips, allowing him entrance, and busy yourself with the sloppy kiss while Zoro kisses your neck.

Their hands on you feel so good yet so agonizing, fire licking across your body. You need more. Anticipation flares inside of you, quickly boiling. You pull away from a panting Sanji, a string of saliva connecting to your bottom lips. “Take off your clothes,” you demand, your voice breathless and needy. “I need you both naked.”

The two men smirk at you, loving how eager you are. “Such a needy lady,” Sanji chuckles, pressing a kiss to your jawline. “You should probably join us though, darling. After all, we can’t be the only ones indecent.”

“How the fuck do you take this off?” Zoro growls, his thick fingers impatiently trying to get your seashell bra off. While Sanji barks that he’ll break it if he isn’t careful, you giggle and show Zoro how to take off your bra.

You let it fall, revealing your perfect breasts and hardened nipples to them. You relish the way they stare at you, eyes widen with lust and awe. “Fuck,” Zoro sighs, bringing his hands up to grasp your titties and give them a squeeze. “You’re fuckin’ perfect.”

“That’s something we can agree on,” Sanji murmurs, unconsciously rutting himself against your backside. “Apologies, darling, but I need to get these fucking pants off.” You smile at him, seductively so. “What’s stopping you?” You purr.

The two men hurry to strip themselves of their clothes, tossing off their shirts and pants, even their shoes and socks. You admire their bodies as they take off each article of clothing, your eyes hungrily drinking in their muscles and sun-tanned skin. When they are finally just in their undies, they wait for you to give them the green light on what to do next though their shafts throb with need.

“Stand up for me,” you softly demand. They scramble to do so, trying to beat each other to the punch. You coax them to lean against the rock behind them before you loop your fingers through the waistband of their briefs. They watch you, cheeks flushed, hearts thumping, their bottom lips caught between their teeth.

You only have to peel the waistbands of their undies down a few inches before both of their cocks are popping out from below. Your eyes widen in delight at their opposing sizes and lengths, already imagining how they’d feel in either of your holes. While Zoro is girthy, thick, and tanner with a beautiful pink head, Sanji is longer and skinnier but curves upward, protruding from a nest of blonde curls.

“Shit,” you moan, hungry for them, your pupils dilating at the impressive appendages. “You both are so pretty.”

Sanji blushes at the compliment while Zoro clucks his tongue indifferently. “A cock can’t be pretty,” he argues. All of that fight dissipates though when you wrap a hand around his shaft, slowly stroking it upward.

“But your cock is pretty, baby,” you protest. “So hard and beautiful…Both of yours are. Let me show you.” And so you begin to stroke both of them at the same time, getting used to how they feel in your hands, your thumbs caressing their heads every time you stroke up.

The pirates softly moan and purr encouragingly at the feeling of your slender, soft, warm hands pumping their cocks, their bodies melting against the rock. “Fuck,” Zoro moans, tossing his head back, exposing his thick neck and Adam’s Apple to you. “Put another spell on me, why don’t ya?”

You giggle, giving his shaft a tantalizing lick that makes him shiver. “Don’t tempt me, pretty boy,” you purr, the nickname damn near making the swordsman combust. His moans are deep and soft, bubbling up from his chest.

Sanji’s moans are louder and sluttier, his voice echoing throughout the cave and bouncing against the walls. “God, darling!” He groans. “Y-Your hand is so…s-so…fuck!”

Zoro laughs at his partner despite his body shivering and trembling at your touch. “Damn, Sanji, it’s only her hand,” he cackles. “Can’t handle it, huh?” The love chef glares at him, sweat glistening on his forehead. “F-Fuck you,” he stammers.

“Uh-uh, baby,” you gently critique. “You should be fucking me.” Keeping your eyes locked with his, you wrap your juicy, soft lips around his throbbing, long cock, finally taking him into your mouth.

Sanji’s eyes grow wide at the sight, barely able to handle it. “Oh, fuck yes,” he groans, his hand moving to your head. “God, ma chéri, you’re so good to me. How is it you’re this good?”

You have no clue being that it’s been a year since you sucked dick. But the act comes so naturally to you. You bob your head up and down his length, gathering spit to help you suck on his cock better. Saliva drips down your chin as you gag all over his cock, pumping him in and out of your mouth.

Sanji watches you from behind the slits of his eyes, his hips struggling to keep still. Noticing, you pop off of his cock for a moment with a gasp, inhaling. “It’s okay,” you whisper. “Fuck my mouth, baby. Take what you need.”

Those words are enough for Sanji to finally break. Once you slide back onto his cock, he grips your hair with enough strength to keep you there but not enough to make you feel trapped. He then begins rolling his slender hips into your mouth, his balls touching your chin as you gag and slobber on his dick. “O-Oh, my God,” he moans. "Ma chéri, your mouth is so perfect.”

Zoro watches his partner fuck you, in awe at how good you take that long dick down your greedy throat. His own cock pulses and throbs in your hand, his hips unconsciously fucking your palm, imagining it to be your pretty face. He finally can’t take the waiting anymore and wraps a hand around his cock. “Ain’t I here too?” He huffs. “C’mon, babe, I need your mouth too.”

You smile despite Sanji’s cock in your mouth, gently tapping the love chef’s hip. He gets the message and slides out of your mouth, his cock now shining and dripping in your spit. “I thought you’d never ask,” you breathlessly reply and envelope him into your mouth finally.

Zoro’s cock is thicker so it stretches your mouth out in a way Sanji’s didn’t. You can feel it as it plunges down your throat, insisting that you take it deeper. Unlike Sanji, Zoro doesn’t wait for you to tell him to fuck your throat. He does it anyway, gripping your hair to give him leverage as he pumps his hips back and forth, sliding his cock against your tongue and hollowed cheeks.

“Goddamn!” Zoro hisses, watching the way his dick disappears and reappears between your plump lips, saliva bubbling at the corner of your mouth as your throat expands around his shaft. “The love chef is right about one thing: your mouth is perfect, baby.”

“I told you,” Sanji hums, lovingly running his fingers through your hair while he slowly fucks your hand that is now sodden wet from your saliva and his dripping pre-cum. “She’s a wonder of the Grand Blue.”

Zoro grunts in agreement, a loud moan leaving his body as your free hand massages his heavy balls. “Oh, you’re a slut,” he breathlessly chuckles. “You can’t help but want all of me.”

“And me!” Sanji whines, quickly becoming more turned on at the sight of the swordsman using your throat like it’s a toy. “God, Zoro, relax. She’s a woman, not a pocket pussy!”

Zoro glares at him, pissed that he is ruining his fun and his concentration. “Tell her that; not me. She’s enjoying this shit.” And you are. Your ‘pussy’ is throbbing from having both dicks all to yourself plus the luxury of having two sexy men fight over you.

Speaking of fighting, Zoro is currently at war with the urge to cum. “God, baby, you’re too good at this,” he groans. “You’re gonna make me cum soon.”

“No, no!” Sanji shouts, prying the swordsman’s hand off of your head so you can retract yourself from his cock. “You can’t cum in her mouth. It has to be inside of her to free her, remember?”

“I know that!” Zoro barks, still laying a hand on your head. “I was only tellin’ her to warn her.”

“Then you’d better switch with me and let me fuck her mouth a little more,” Sanji argues. “You’ve been too greedy. Don’t forget, I’m here too, Mosshead.” Zoro rolls his eyes, not looking too happy at sharing. “Fine, but don’t take so long.”

So the two share you, passing you around like a hot potato, fucking your mouth like it’s no one’s business. They shower you with praise and encouragement, telling you to take them deeper, calling you a “good girl”. Their words make you wetter, your slit throbbing impatiently. You want to get filled the same way your throat is.

“You’re doing so well, taking us at the same time like this, darling,” Sanji lovingly says. “What can we do to repay you for your kindness, hm?” Zoro seems to want to know too because he slips his cock out of your mouth so you can answer, but still ruts himself against your hand.

You don’t hesitate telling them what you need: “I want you to taste me,” you imploringly answer. “I want you to touch me.” The two smile at your neediness, their hands caressing your face and hair.

“Tell us how,” Zoro says. Though it sounds like a demand, you can tell that he is just as eager to please you as Sanji is judging by how quickly he gets on his knees to reach you better. “I’ve never been with a mermaid before.”

You smirk at him, causing him to blush. “Oh, really?” You ask. “I’d expect such a renowned swordsman to have been with plenty of women.” Sanji chuckles, earning a hot glare from the swordsman. “I’m just teasing you,” you giggle, pressing an apologetic kiss to his lips. “I’ll show you both how to touch me.”

Sanji kneels down with Zoro, both of them paying close attention to your anatomy. You lay back against a bed of seaweed and run your fingers over your throbbing slit several inches below your belly button. “Here,” you breathlessly say. “Right here.”

The two stare at it, realizing that it has its own puffy lips that are glistening in your wetness. Sanji, salivating at the sight, struggles to speak. “Is this your…y-your—“

“Pussy,” you finish, giggling at his stutter. “It’s just a slit, but it’s just as sensitive as one. My tail too.” You flap your tail around, pointing at your fins.

“You like bein’ touched here?” Zoro curiously asks. You nod. “On my fin and my scales. Just light stroke them with your fingertips. I’m very sensitive there.”

‘Please touch me there,’ you beg in your head. ‘Touch me anywhere.’ Your body burns like a flame, desperate to be touched, felt, and held. You are touch-starved and the way these men move their hands is making your appetite worse.

While Sanji stays at your side, Zoro moves down to your tail, gently placing it in his lap. “Like…this?” He probes, gently running his fingers down your scales. Your back arches and a whimper leaves your lips, his fingertips leaving a trail of pleasurable sparks in their wake. Zoro smirks at your reaction.

“Oh, she’s a sensitive one,” Sanji coos. “We’ll be careful with you, darling girl. Just relax.”

Then, gently and slowly, the French man begins sucking and licking up, down, and around your slit, exploring your wet folds. A loud moan that bounces off of the cave walls explodes from your body, finally unlocked from the treasure chest within you. “Hey!” Zoro barks. “Why do you get to go first?”

Sanji, pissed at being interrupted, turns to glare at his partner over his shoulder. “You’re down there with her tail, aren’t you?” He scoffs. “Shut up and keep stroking. If you don’t, I’ll take your spot there too.”

He then goes back to making out with your ‘pussy’, giving you gentle strokes with his tongue. You gently place your hands on his face and aim his face downward, his nose rubbing up against your clit.

The love chef hums and moans in pleasure just as you do, loving your taste and how wet you are. Even better are the sounds you make: desperate and beautiful moans, whimpers, and gasps drawn out of your body that echo in the empty sea cave with no one to witness but the two men currently pleasuring you.

Zoro moves his calloused fingers down to your tail fins, gently stroking up and down with his thumb and forefinger. His other one plays with your scales, his fingers tracing them like one would guitar strings. You can only describe the feeling as having a thousand tiny clits that are repeatedly stimulated. It’s a glorious, wonderful feeling.

“Oh, sh-shit!” You gasp, sensitive from such stimulation. “That feels s-so fucking good!”

Zoro picks his head up to intently look at you, a proud smirk playing on his lips. “Yeah?” He teasingly asks, his green eye piercing into yours. “I bet I’m makin’ you feel so good, aren’t I, baby?” He leans down to begin kissing down your scales, his tongue poking between his lips to gently slide down your tail. You damn near cum right there.

Sanji is still becoming acquainted with your slit, his tongue swirling about between your lips and against them while his nose swipes against the hood of your clit. He ticks his hooded eyes up to meet yours, hearts practically floating in them as he stares at your pretty tits and parted mouth as you moan. “And me too?” He asks, desperate to hear you say it. “Am I making you feel good too, darling?”

He does some kind of trick with his tongue that touches some spot inside of you that nearly makes you cum right there all over his face. ”Yes!” You whine. “Yes, yes, right here!”

Your hands grab his blonde hair, fingering his locks and keeping him locked against your cunt. He hungrily eats at you, his hands moving underneath you to hold your ass. When he pulls away, his mouth is sodden wet from you and he eagerly licks at his lips. “You’re so wet here, mon chere,” he gasps, his finger lightly toying with your pussy lips. “I could just slide my finger in.”

You flush at the idea, having already thought about it. “Um…you can,” you shyly say. “But can you both share?”

Zoro and Sanji look at each other, surprisingly not put off with the idea. Zoro quirks an eyebrow at you and you feel his hard cock nudge at your tail. “You want us to eat you out at the same time?” He asks. Sanji tuts, moving over to make room for the swordsman. “So desperate for us.”

And they give you exactly what you want. They take turns eating and slurping your wet pussy slit, licking and sucking your clit while the other fingers your slit, hooking either one or two upwards to stroke your G-spot. Sanji’s fingers are slender and long, perfect for piano, while Zoro’s are thick and fill you up.

They each offer copious amounts of saliva, spitting on your pussy even when the other has their fingers in you. But neither seem to care, too focused on making you lose your everloving mind.

And you are. Broken moans and high-pitched whines leave your lips, your hands gripping their hair and any part of their bodies for dear life. “Oh, my God,” you moan, your eyes rolling to the back of your head. “You’re both so good at this!”

Sanji’s mouth leaves your clit to leave kisses on your breasts instead, his hands groping what his mouth isn’t stimulating. You go to rub your clit, but Zoro firmly places your hand on your stomach. His eyes are fierce and stern, exciting you. “Uh-uh,” he firmly says. “Don’t touch her. She’s ours right now.”

‘She’s ours’. Your pussy is theirs. You feel yourself shiver, enjoying the idea of you being theirs.

Sanji presses a kiss to your panting lips, sucking gently on your tongue. “Put us where you want, darling girl,” he implores. “Show us what you need.” And when he goes back down to join his partner in feasting on your cunt, you push his head down onto your slit while Zoro finger fucks you.

The two don’t switch this time, probably because your moans have grown louder, signaling your end nearing. You can feel it the more Zoro’s thick digits curl up to fuck you, emitting lewd, wet sounds as they swirl in your wet slit. You can feel it the more Sanji makes love to your clit, swirling his tongue around and around. That knot in your core tightens with each second, threatening to snap.

“Oooh, fuck!” you croon. “Shit, you’re gonna make me cum! I’m gonna…gonna…!”

You can feel it. Just something more. A little more to give you that push. The swordsman is that push, his rough, velvety voice reaching your eardrums to encourage you to finally let go.

“Cum, baby,” Zoro moans. “Give it to us. We’ve got you.” Sanji hums in agreement into your slit, his tongue moving in perfect time with Zoro’s thrusting fingers.

Finally, you break and with a loud, ear-shattering moan, you cum all over them. Their mouths, their fingers, and their chests become covered in your cum…or squirt when you finally realize that you’re squirting. You didn’t even know mermaids could squirt!

Zoro shoves Sanji out of the way to get himself a taste, but Sanji is too busy laughing with joy at your loud orgasm to get mad. “My, what a voice!” He laughs. “Such lungs on you, ma chéri. I suppose you needed that?”

You slowly nod, coming down from your high. “That was amazing,” you sigh. “Thank you.”

You stare at both of them with such gratitude that Zoro blushes despite having just swallowed your squirt. He awkwardly wipes his mouth with his hand, his cheeks red. “Of course,” he says, clearing his throat. “So, uh…do you still want to—“

“Yes,” you giggle, sitting up and staring into their eyes. “Yes, I do. I don’t care who goes first; just as long as you’re both in me.”

Your libido is still high as is your need. You want both of them on you, in you, now. At this point it’s less about the curse and more about wanting to be filled and fucked by these two sexy idiots.

The two stare at each other, silently trying to come to an agreement. “I go first,” they say in unison then immediately become irked. “Why you?” They ask each other, quickly growing angrier at the fact that they share the same brain.

“Because you had her mouth first,” Zoro snaps. “Ya didn’t even ask me if I wanted first dibs!” Sanji opens his mouth to retort but then stops, pausing to think it over. “He does have a point,” you mutter.

“Yes, but…you’re too big!” Sanji argues, motioning to Zoro’s big body. “You might crush her or be too rough! You can’t just fuck her like you did her mouth. You need to take your time to get to know her body.” The two begin to go back and forth like two kids, tossing in immature insults and stupid nicknames.

As hilarious as the scene is, you can feel your slit throbbing impatiently and your need quickly growing to new heights. “Boys,” you firmly say, grabbing their attention. “Instead of fighting, why don’t you both just fuck me together?”

The duo blink at you, confused. “How?” Sanji asks, perplexed. “You mean…one gets your pussy and the other gets your…oh.” When he realized where that other dick is going, his cheeks grow hot. “What?”

Zoro snaps. “What does she mean?”

Sanji sighs and whispers to him, making the swordsman turn as red as a tomato. “Um…are you okay with this?” The blonde nervously asks.

You’ve never been more okay with something in your life, you realize. You know in your heart of hearts that these two will take care of you, casual sex or not. “I wouldn’t be asking if I wasn’t, pretty boy,” you giggle. “Are you okay with it?”

You look between the two, searching their faces for apprehension or any signs of second guessing. Despite their obvious nervousness, Zoro shakes his head, a determined scowl on his face. “Well…I suppose it is fair,” Sanji mutters. “We’ve shared her since the beginning, so why not continue?”

He turns to Zoro, puffing out his chest. “I-I’ll take the back if you want the front. Just as long as you don’t hurt her and you’re not too rough!” The swordsman rolls his emerald eyes, shoving the blonde out of the way. “Oh, shut up,” he huffs.

You suddenly find yourself being scooped up bridal style by Zoro, your tail flapping happily at the sweet act. You giggle and wrap your arms around his thick neck, leaning your head into his chest. He leans against a rock, keeping you against him, while Sanji stands behind you, his cock bobbing against your ass. Feeling yourself be sandwiched between both of them, your hands running over their muscles and abs, is enough to make you reach climax.

You keep your arms locked around Zoro’s neck, his face just inches from yours. “Is this okay?” He asks in your ear.

You nod, staring into his eye which reminds you of a vast, lush forest. It softens, flickering down to your lips. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispers. “I promise I’ll make you feel so good.”

Hearing such a sweet promise coming from the rugged pirate invokes something with you that feels like butterflies. You smile and softly peck his lips. “I’ll hold you to it, swordsman,” you whisper against his lips.

Zoro smiles and gives you another chaste kiss before moving between your bodies to rub your clit. Once you begin to moan is when he slowly slides his cock against your sodden wet slit…and then the tip slips in. You both gasp at the contact, sharing pants and heated breaths. You begin to roll your hips against his, slowly taking him inch by inch inside of you.

“That’s it, mama,” he coos. “Nice an’ slow…nice a-and…fuck!” He squeezes his eyes shut, his pretty face screwed up at the pleasure your silky, spongy, wet walls bring him.

You’re feeling it too—his girthy cock makes him a lot thicker which causes your walls to stretch around him. It becomes easier the more he moves, wetness secreting from the both of you to act as lube.

“Look down, baby,” he whispers. Look at that pussy takin’ me.” You do and you see what has him so pent up: the way his thick cock plunges in and out of your slit is so lewd yet so sexy. The first cock you’ve taken in a year!

“Wow,” you say in astonishment. Sanji watches too, unconsciously rutting his cock against your backside.

“Keep going,” you plea, gripping the swordsman’s shoulders. “Fuck me, Zoro. Please.” He doesn’t need to be told twice. Immediately, he grabs your hips and proceeds to fuck you, practically bouncing you up and down his cock, invoking broken moans and gasps from your pretty lips.

Zoro watches your face change expressions, his lips sexily pressed together at the immense pleasure he feels whenever your tight, wet hole throbs and squeezes around him. He quickly loses control, letting go for you. “Oh, God,” he moans. “Fuck, you feel so fuckin’ good!”

He does too. The pleasure is blinding, wiping your mind blank. Almost enough to forget about the love chef. “Sorry to interrupt,” Sanji chuckles. “But you’ve got another cock to take care of, darling…after I prep you a bit back here.”

He presses his index finger to your lips, coaxing you to suck on it. You hungrily do so, stimulated by Zoro’s cock as he slowly fucks you, pistoning himself into you.

You then feel Sanji’s finger gently pry your cheeks apart and probe your asshole. You gasp into Zoro’s mouth as you feel the French man’s digit lightly trace your asshole, keeping his touch gentle and soft. “Good girl,” he whispers. “Does it feel good?”

“Y-Yeah,” you exhale, struggling to even speak from the pleasure. Though it’s a foreign feeling, it makes the pleasure of Zoro’s thrusts feel even better.

Then, slowly, Sanji sinks his finger into your asshole, emitting a moan from you. “That okay?” he asks. “Not too much?”

“N-No!” you whimper. “Fuck, it feels so good!” Your body turns into mesh, your head lulling onto Zoro’s shoulder, your eyes fluttering shut. It’s all too much to take.

Zoro tightens his grip on you, still pistoning into you. “Such a big girl takin’ us both like this.” He presses a soft kiss to your cheek. “Jesus Christ, Sanji, are you done yet?”

He glares at the blonde who has yet to slip his dick inside of you yet. “Hold on!” He barks. “I need to make sure she’ll be okay to take me!” But you know you are. Your asshole is as open and stretched as it’s going to be. Plus, your want is increasing and so is your need. You need, yearn, to be filled.

“Sanji, please,” you moan. “I need you.” You reach your arm back for him, hooking it around his neck to pull him flush against you. He holds your ass and massages it as you push back against him, rubbing his cock between your asscheeks. The act is so slutty and so unlike you, but you can’t help you. You need him too.

The blonde wraps one around his cock and brings it to your asshole, gently pushing his hips toward you. A gasp leaves his hips as soon as that tight muscle squeezes around him. You push back, taking more of him in you while Zoro pauses, letting you get used to both of them.

It’s a weird, strange feeling to be filled at both ends…but it also feels amazing. You can feel them touching every sensitive part of you that makes you see the entire galaxy behind your eyelids.

“Easy now, darling,” Sanji pants. “Take your time. Just meet me halfway.” You continue to do so, pushing back while he pulls forward. You toss your ass back into him, taking him deeper and deeper with every inch, forcing slutty moans and whimpers out of Sanji’s mouth. “Fuck,” he moans. “Fuck, ma chéri, you’re so tight here!”

Zoro smirks at the blonde over your shoulder. “Can’t handle it, Vinsmoke?” He sniggers. “Is that ass too tight?” Even though he’s the main one struggling not to move, his entire body trembling against you.

Sanji scowls at him. “Don’t be so vulgar,” he growls, but you can feel him throb inside of you. “Just shut up and fuck her.”

Shockingly, Zoro listens and the two begin to slowly move at the same time, falling into a rhythm that has you moaning and calling to God, your sounds bouncing off of the cave walls.

They both push in and pull back at the same time, each of them filling your holes which pushes you toward your second orgasm with every push and pull. Zoro presses his lips against your ear, his hips slamming into yours. “Thatta girl,” he praises. “Take those fuckin’ cocks. Such a good little slut, y’know that?”

You wordlessly whine at his degrading words, shuddering helplessly between them. The swordsman grips you to him, rubbing his pelvis up against yours. “Come the fuck here,” he growls. “You hear me talkin’ to you?”

“Y-Yes!” You whine. “I-I’m sorry! Fuck, Zoro, yes, right there!” Your rosebud sings with pleasure as Zoro continues to rub against it, your entire body coming to life from what you’re feeling.

Sanji caresses your face, turning you to face him. “You have the most beautiful voice, ma chéri,” he lovingly sighs. “I want to hear more of it. Will you sing more for us?”

As if persuading you, he rolls his hips in a way that makes both of you moan. “Do it,” you plead. “Fuck me.”

They do just that, taking you on the ride of your life, fucking you into oblivion. And their dicks aren’t the only things responsible. Every time their lips touch some part of your body—your neck, shoulders, lips, breasts—, every time their hands grope you, every time you grip or stroke their hard muscles and warm skin, you can feel that knot in your core begin to tighten as much as your wet slit and asshole do around their cocks.

At some point, their thrusts become faster and harder, keeping you squeezed between them and holding you up for better access to do as they want to you. They fuck you like there is no tomorrow, letting out loud moans and grunts that make you wetter, causing their cocks to become even slipprier so it’s easier to slide in and out of you. You can’t believe how good you feel, let alone how long it took for this to happen.

Zoro gives you an open-mouthed kiss, playfully nibbling on your bottom lip. “This enough for you, mama?” He whispers. “Are these dicks good enough for you?” Your tongue is too heavy to speak, the pleasure stealing your voice from you. “Aw, the poor baby can’t even speak,” he laughs.

Sanji is just as fucked up though, his hips moving on their own as he grips you to him. “Fuck, I’m close!” he moans. “I can’t wait to fill you up, darling. I’m gonna make you all mine.”

Zoro scowls at him questionably. “Yours?” He huffs. “What about me? You think your load is gonna be bigger than mine?”

The French man raises an eyebrow, smirking challengingly at him. “Let’s find out. We’ll see who can make her cum the quickest and fill her up the most.”

Always up for a challenge, Zoro gives him a smile. “You’re on.” He then locks his arms around you, keeping you dangling off of the floor. “Hold on tight to me, mama. This ride is gonna get bumpy.”

You tighten your arms around him, anchoring yourself to him while Sanji locks his arms around you. “Let us know if it’s too much, okay?” he whispers.

You nod, leaning your head back against his shoulder. You give yourself to them and they give their all to you, pounding your pretty pussy and even prettier asshole until you’re sobbing, fat tears glistening on your lash lines. Your tail fin curls in ecstasy the way your toes would and your hands move to grip your men’s hair, overcome with pleasure.

“O-Oh, fuck!” You sob. “Yes, yes, yes, just like that! I-I’m gonna cum!” You can feel it building with every passing second; with every drop of wetness that dribbles down your inner thighs and coats your slits. “Me too,” Zoro huffs. “You’re just too goddamn tight, baby.”

Sanji only gives you a wordless, slutty moan, unable to speak. But he doesn’t have to. You can feel both of their cocks throbbing and swelling inside of you, their thrusts becoming more urgent and much harder than before.

Tapping into your powers once more, you look both of them in the eye, keeping them close, wanting to be one. “Cum with me,” you demand. “Both of you cum with me now. Fill me up.”

After a few more sloppy, stuttering thrusts, the pirates give you what you want. They cum inside of you up at the same time, filling you up to the brim with two cream pies that knock the air out of you. Their slutty, loud moans and grunts trigger your own orgasm. With a shiver and an earth-shattering scream that nearly shatters the pirates’ eardrums, you finally combust and cum all over Zoro’s cock while your asshole clenches around Sanji’s.

You feel like you’re soaring for just a few short, blissful seconds, flying through the highest clouds and taking the pirates with you. They keep you lifted up and against them as you shudder and writhe in pleasure, riding out the hardest orgasm you’ve had in a year.

It makes you dizzy and your head goes completely blank. It takes every single ounce of energy out of you, so much so that you go limp when it fades. You lean your head against Zoro’s chest, suddenly exhausted.

At some point during your mind-blowing orgasm, you pass out. You don’t remember much about what happened after you had your second nut. But when you awaken, it is dawn and you find yourself still sandwiched between a sleeping, naked Zoro and Sanji. The swordsman has his muscular, scarred back to you while the love chef is pushed against your back, acting as the big spoon.

The morning sun peeks through the cave, turning the soft waves that crash against the shore a beautiful hue of gold. The sunlight illuminates off of your naked bodies, acting as a physical representation for afterglow: your arms, your faces, your legs…

Legs?

To your utter shock and joy, you look down to see that you no longer have a fish tail but your legs. Your beautiful, gorgeous, human legs. You sit up between the pirates and wiggle your toes just to see if you can do it. Your little piggies listen to your order, your toe bones wiggling about.

“Oh, my God!” You shout, unable to keep your happiness at bay.

Your shout alarms the pirates and they quickly awaken. Zoro immediately grabs a sword while Sanji panickingly looks around for danger, his blonde hair a sex-ruined mess. “What, what?!” He gasps. “What is it?!”

You take a moment to gather your words as tears begin to push past the dam of your eyes. “My legs!” You sob. You show the duo your legs, happily moving them around. “You broke the curse! It worked!”

Zoro gapes down at your legs, even gently stroking your skin from your thigh to your knee. Sanji breaks out into an astonished smile, his gray blue eyes wide with wonder. “My God,” he whispers. “It was real.” You nod, unable to keep yourself from sobbing with joy. You can’t believe it worked!

The swordsman looks pleased that everything worked out for you. “I guess our work here is done,” he says. “We should be leaving now.” To your confusion and shock, the two leave you sitting there and begin to get dressed. “Wait, you’re leaving?” You ask. “Right now?”

Zoro stares at you as if it should be obvious while he puts on his pants. “Well, yeah,” he says. “I mean, we gave you what you wanted, right? We’re not needed anymore.” He shrugs on his boots with the quickness, still having not put on his shirt. “But it was…really nice.” He clears his throat, awkwardly looking away from your naked form.

Sanji is quicker putting on his clothes, staring at you somberly. “Better than nice, ma chéri,” he sighs. “You were amazing. But our time here has come to pass. Our captain will be looking for us, so we should—“

“Don’t go!” you blurt, grabbing Sanji’s hand. The love chef looks taken aback at this. Zoro is too, looking at you with a startled expression. You’re just as taken aback at yourself and the sudden desperation you feel watching them go. Why do you feel this way? After all, you did tell them you could depart after you got your legs back.

And while you are happy to have your beautiful, human limbs back, you’re not happy to see the pirates go. They made you feel safer than you’ve felt your whole life. They accepted you, helped you at your darkest hour, fucked you stupid, and came inside of you without even knowing you. All to help you! How can you give them up?

You flush embarrassingly and release Sanji’s hand, instead using your arms to hug yourself, covering your naked breasts. “I-I mean…you don’t have to leave so soon. I really enjoyed your company, regardless of the sex.” You look at each other from under your lashes, bashful but honest. “I wouldn’t mind y’all stickin’ around for a bit.”

Zoro and Sanji stare at you in shock, obviously not expecting this proposal from you. Then their gazes soften, filling you with butterflies that nervously flap and flutter about. Before any one of them can respond, a sheer, loud scream coming from deep within the cave stops you:

“Zoro!” Luffy calls. “Sanji, are you in here?!”

Immediately, you crawl behind a rock, frightened. “We’re coming!” Sanji shouts. “Luffy, don’t move!” You hear other voices too, unfamiliar and scary to you. You haven’t been around other help in a year.

Zoro walks toward you and kneels with you behind the rock, his eye sparkling with mischief and gentleness. “I wouldn’t mind that either if you don’t mind our crew.”

He hands you over his shirt, holding it out for you. “But I will warn you: they’re annoying and unhinged, but you won’t find better people than them.” He gives you a crooked smile that makes you trust his words.

“You want me to join your crew?” You ask in disbelief. The swordsman passively shrugs, ever the emotionally constipated one. “If you want,” he bashfully asks. “I think Luffy will like you. He likes everybody…mostly.”

Sanji chuckles, kneeling beside you. “What do you say, darling?” He asks, a sparkle in his eyes. “You up for some more adventure?”

You take a moment to stare into the men’s eyes, seeing nothing but a generous nature that soothes your fears and leaves you feeling giddy, happy, and safe.

“Hell yes,” you giggle. You take Zoro’s shirt and put it on, feeling like you’re wearing a dress with how big it is on you. You then wrap your arms around both men’s necks and bring them in for a soft, thankful kiss. “Lead the way, boys,” you purr.

Joyfully, Zoro scoops you up into his arms while Sanji fusses about not being able to hold you, much to your humor, as you’re carried away to meet your new crew. Suddenly, the fog that the witch’s curse created is gone, leaving your present and your future looking brighter than ever.

And all because of that stupid ass song.

THE END.

[morishitoshi]

Con days pt2

Im gonna make this a part three or a small fic

The next was the second day of the convention, you had posted pictures from the previous day to your socials, and today was the day when you dressed as Laios, you had gotten together with some online mutual for a TikTok video, and a few hours after you posted you're sitting in your costume as you take a snack break and much to your shock you see that not only did the video blow up but Damien liked the Video as well as commented complementing how well done the cosplay looks.

Suddenly your heart is beating in your chest you're sure others can hear it, your face is flushed as you hear his comment and finish the small snack you have been eating, you make your way around Artist Alley stopping now and then to take pictures with others, you see a small chibi figurine of laios eating a walking mushroom, buy it and you're eyes glance over to see there's not very many people in line for his booth, you start to make your way over in hopes of getting it signed.

You stand in line and wait as it starts to go down and you start getting nervous again. 

What if he thinks you're weird for coming two days in a row? You're so stuck in your thoughts that you haven't realized how much time has passed.

You look up face flushed and you're one person away, there's no one after you, after a bit, you're standing in front of the Booth with a nervous smile on your face, his eyes seem to light up in recognition “Oh hey! you were here yesterday and I saw the video you posted, it looks great” his cheerful voice fills your ears and you face flushes more and you nod “thank you, It took me a few months to finish” you flash a small smile as his eyes scan over the armor “oh and thank you for the sword, it looks so great it Was so sweet of you” His voice is like velvet dipped honey in your ears.

You fidget with the figurine in your hands as you blush a bit “Thanks” your voice cracks once again, his eyes glance at the figurine you're holding and you see him Looking at it and you remember why you came in the first place “oh yea um if possible would you be able to sign this?” he nods and you gently place the box in his hands he smiles as he looks at it “so what's your name?” He asks as he starts To sign It “oh its___” he nods and he signs the box handing it back “you like Laios?” He asks, his voice is cheerful And sweet and you nod “I love Laios,he's my favorite from the anime and he's in my top 3 favorite characters” you smile “his personality is just the best,he's so funny. He's just a cute Lil guy” Damien nods in agreement “I actually think you were perfect for the role of Laios voice,you remind me of him actually” your face flushes abit as you watch his face turn abit red “ah sorry if that was awkward” you rush to say and he shakes his head with that cute smile of his “no,it's alright it's very sweet of you” and that makes your heart Skip a beat as you nod and to your surprise he asks how old you are “oh,I'm 21” you give a lopsided smile and he nods ,people start to line Back up behind you and you take that as your cue to leave “thank you so much,i will treasure this” you beam a smile as you leave ,you spend the rest of the day taking pictures and doing skit videos and by the time you settle for the night you've already posted the majority of your pictures and Videos and Just like before you see that Damien has not only liked the posts and videos but he followed your account your heart starts to race faster then the speed of light and you bury your face in your pillow, you can feel the tips of your ears are red and warm.

You see he's posted a few pictures From today of him interacting as well as adding on his story some of the interactions or reposting the fans' stories. You take a picture of the signed Figure and post it on your story tagging him with the caption “met the charmer who voices this Cutie” and you take a deep breath posting it, after a few minutes you see that he's posted it to his story with a quick reply about how he was happy to be able to sign it and see the cosplay.

You then notice you have a chat request, and to your surprise, it was him

[irithnova]

The way white hetalians, especially fairly popular white hetalians, react to poc who actually speak up against racism is really telling.

I'm sick and tired of having to hand hold and coddle white hetalians when I call them out on questionable behaviour to try and convince them that no!!! I still think you're a good person despite the fact that you've already blocked quite a few poc who are vocal about racism even though they've never interacted with you, even though you're excruciatingly exclusionary of non white nations, post ignorant and historically deaf takes and repost literal n*zi fanart!!

I find it incredibly telling when a white hetalian already has a bunch of vocal poc blocked even without ever interacting with them. Because I know exactly what they're trying to hide.

Like. Why should I, a poc, have to hold your hand while I explain to you why other poc are upset with your post/posts. Why do you see this fandom as a safe space away from poc and away from any and all forms of accountability. As if a poc didn't create this manga/anime in the first place. You guys are fucking pathetic lol.

Btw before anyone says "if you don't like it then leave!!!!!!!!" lol what a cheap copout plus I've been in this fandom for 8-ish years in total now so obviously I enjoy hetalia enough to stay. Imagine telling someone who wants to fix their home to just move to a new one. Because fuck trying to work to improve anything right? If you try to actively improve the quality of the fandom (like. make it less racist) then obviously you must hate the fandom and you're only here to whine!

If anything, people, especially poc who are vocal about the racism care more about the fandom space than the hetalians who brush it under the rug. And I find it absolutely hilarious when popular white hetalians block small poc creators who are known for calling out racism/ignorance. Doesn't look good bestie x

For a while now I've pretty much curated my fandom space to include people who are similar to me and have similar interests to me because I wasn't a fan of the racism I saw when I first joined quite a while back. I reach out to the wider fandom again after a hiatus and yup still having to deal with white hetalians not wanting to take accountability for their racism, ignorance, and exclusion.

I mean, the fact that with the poll argument I had with a larger white creator ended with them not even uttering an apology, whining the entire time about being "harassed", not taking anything I actually said on board and that the only reason why they were no longer doing the poll was because they had a "private conversation" with someone about how the poll wouldn't work, and not because a poc (and others) called them out for being blatantly exclusionary to non white nations...

That's not the only incident if anyone accuses me of milking the situation, there were incidents before that and after and a lot of my poc mutuals/friends still deal with a lot of shit on the daily.

Anyways maybe try to listen to poc who actually speak up against the racism/ignorance in the fandom rather than speed run blocking them, talking down to them, tone policing them and ignoring them. Thanks.

[moeteki]

IMPORTANT: Regarding the use of my Nitro+Chiral/BL/BLVN Scans

I know I do not use Tumblr at all in the past year (but plan to be active on here again soon), but I feel as if I need to put this on here as well, given that what I want to say has to do with scans I have uploaded and provided onto here in the past.

If you’re going to reupload any scans of mine I did in the past (and future), I ask for a link back to my postings.

(cont. below)

Reason why I am saying this is that I recently came aware of a Twitter user reuploading some of my old scans without linking back or credit. This user, whom I will not name for privacy for now, has been doing this not only with my works, but my other friends/mutuals within the Nitro+Chiral fandom. It's severely saddening and disappointing, and I'm speaking up not only for myself, but my friends/mutuals as well.

I do not have an issue with sharing my scans; I share them and for the reasons of wanting others to see content that may be hard to get a hold of. What I DO have an issue with is the lack of credit/linking credit. I know what my scans look like; I do them a particular way.

I understand how hard it is for many fans especially (in the N+C fandom outside of Japan) to get hands on items, and I don’t mind the sharing of my scans I created for people to have access, but all I ask at the very LEAST is a link back to my original upload. Just a link. That's all I ask for.

I want to provide content for people who cannot afford/be able to get their hands on it due to items being so old they are out of production. Not crediting me is a major disrespect as I have put a lot of money, time and effort too, into providing scans of content. A lot of my items I have purchased have come from Japan itself, it's an expensive and long time going out in effort to search for a lot of the stuff I have gotten. I've even pulled all-nighters translating content (in the past).

Because of this, I have decided from here on out, when I do upload a scan it will be watermarked in some form. Scans will have watermarks on every single page possibly in multiple areas (mostly hidden), and translations from here on out will have hidden watermarks if they are done solely by me. My translations already come with a credit page, but that doesn't seem to be enough anymore unfortunately.

I was planning on returning part-time to translating and providing scans of content in the next coming months due to time in my personal life finally letting up. What I was not expecting, however, was an individual pretty much reposting my old scans without credit. I hate to do this, but all they had to do was literally just post a link back to my scans.

So the good news, expect this account to become more active in the coming months (hopefully) with new scans and translations and such. Unfortunately though, what will be provided will be watermarked from here on out.

If the individual whom I am referring to happens to see this, since they seem to be pulling content from Tumblr mostly (which is why I am popping on here to say something); please just credit where credit is due. Not just with my stuff, but other's as well. Saying "idk who OP is" is not the right thing to do when you know you are posting content you haven't scanned or taken pictures of yourself. Reverse image search to find the sources.

I hope you understand, and I appreciate you all that have stuck around and continue to. Hope to be active on here again soon to provide content for you all.

Much appreciated, Mellow (Meru)

Reminder that I am far more active on my Twitter.

[cheese-water]

Hello hello bootwt and any other twitter runways, welcome to tumblr! I’ve seen many a useful tumblr etiquette posts on my feed and I honestly had nothing to add. However as someone who’s been lurking/active on booblr since the very beginning, here are some less so guidelines, more so tips and tricks to make your first experience on tumblr more enjoyable :D

By selecting already written text, you can do all all sorts of cool things with it, such as bullet points, colors, smaller text size, so have fun.

Alt text/image IDs and video transcripts are very useful for everyone on tumblr, especially for the disabled community. Here’s a great post on why image ids are so important and how to write them with links about video ids/transcript near the end.

Tumblr users follow the “block and move on” mantra hard. The ranboo tag used to be really bad, and I get wanting weirdos of the internet. But trying to hold them accountable will only give them more attention and put you through more anguish. Your better off to block them, their mutuals, and their tags to save you the mental turmoil.

Reblogs > Likes is a general correct assumption for artists so their works can spread to other people. However some people may still want likes on their posts, like if they view likes as special private bookmarks or enjoy the little number going up (it’s me I’m some people I love em both). Blogs will be very apparent to which they prefer and you should too.

Tags like “cheese don’t look” on Twitter work the same way here.

If you want create separate accounts for things like posting art or other fandoms, create a side blog(s)! Or don’t! It’s your blog.

You’re able to turn off comments and reblogs on specific posts (like for wips or stuff you don’t want to spread) and can turn off anons or disable your ask box.

Scheduling posts are here as well plus you can automatically schedule reblogs through the queue feature! It’s described better in the queue tab under your account

Reposting stuff without credit/permission is still weird. Just reblog it.

Nobody can see the amount of followers you have. 🎉 If you want to celebrate hitting a certain amount of followers, that’s also chill too.

Terms like “moot and oomf” aren’t really used here like they were on Twitter but honestly you do you.

Lots of these are optional (except the accessibility stuff don’t be a jackass :)) so just have fun and try to enjoy the internet again! :D

[nox-artemis]

Halloween isn't making me really happy this year.

I mean, there's a lot of other factors going into play too, but definitely my mind has been preoccupied extra since a lot of feelings have been catching up since last year.

J.G. sure picked a "appropriate" time of year to pull the ghosting act, if you catch my drift.

But again, there's a lot more.

Part One: Realization

The first thing I have to admit isn’t too surprising but still something people don’t condone. I feel comfortable admitting to it now since I blocked-unfollowed J.G. and I’m certain they don’t give a rat’s shit about me to do the same by coming onto my blog (like they ever cared enough about me to want to keep tabs on me). It’s ironic that I say this since what I’m about to admit is that yes: since around the time they ghosted me, I made a habit of lurking on their active social media, which was basically their Facebook. Not only was their FB a public profile (now that I blocked-unfollowed J.G. from IG, I can’t see their photos anymore because private account), it was also the only platform that we never mutually followed each other on, so I felt that this was the only place I could see the “real” J.G.

As the old proverb says, “curiosity killed the cat.” But satisfaction did not bring me back.

When I scrolled back to around the time the ghosting happened, I was a bit forlorn at first to see that there was no post alluding to the event, or of me in anyway, but J.G. did have a “shit post” model of social media as of recently – not really making any posts about their personal life – so I decided to proceed with periodically dipping into their feed, because in actuality seeing them regularly reposting cheesy/shitty memes gave the illusion that we were still talking to one another. I stuck to doing that for a few months because of that.

Until around February/March when they posted a rare personally typed post [changed some wording for privacy]:

People: "But why are you still single?"

Me [J.G.]: "Because I'd rather hold people accountable to their actions than entertain their crap."

And that was the last time I went onto their Facebook.

Weirdly, it was not the last time I tried to contact them, but definitely… I couldn’t look at their open-secret thoughts anymore. Maybe it wasn’t directed at me, but at that point it seemed like a double-edged sword. It was either J.G. felt so much resentment toward the type of relationship we just shared, or J.G. never cared enough about me to even acknowledge anything. It was a big stab to the heart.

And when I deleted all of our messages and the pictures they sent to me of them, I screen captured that post, because I wanted to keep it as a reminder of how much of a mistake it was to be involved with them.

Even though I haven’t accepted it yet.

Part Two: Shame/Embarrassment

This might be something to be discussed with a therapist, but I think a reason that I’ve been taking this whole ghosting/break-up saga so deeply is because – as much as I don’t want to admit it – I’ve been feeling a lot of shame and embarrassment when looking back at me and J.G.’s relationship. And despite how I’ve talked at lengths about my relationship woes to only two of my close friends (the only two people I’ve been regularly seeing for about the same length of time I’ve been ghosted by J.G.) , it’s a detail I never told either of them.

Me and J.G.’s first time together… was my first time.

Some people will roll their eyes and scoff, “ you’re seriously embarrassed about admitting *that*?” and in response I roll my eyes even further and scoff, “Yeah well can we stop pretending that in spite of the ‘sex positive’ façade of our generation some of ya’ll have a weird reaction toward mid/late life virginity loss (it’s possibly the only thing where I have a shred of sympathy for incels and the like since some people *do* talk down on people who are sexually inexperienced/shy/conservative) so can you shove your Adam & Eve promo coupon up someone else’s butthole?”

I deprogrammed myself to not believe in the whole, “save yourself until marriage,” stuff, obviously, BUT I had the expectation that my first time would be with a person who was understanding, kind, good-looking… I just wanted to be with someone who was a good person, because even if we didn’t end up together for whatever reason, it wouldn’t have been on bad terms, it wouldn’t have been regrettable. The good memories and experiences wouldn’t be tainted.

And I guess my embarrassment and shame comes with the gravity of the possibility that I gave myself to a person who by all accounts is a narcissist and/or a psychopath.

And I played into their game.

I know we fling those words around a lot, but this is based on what J.G. has told me about their family/upbringing and I’m not going to be so insensitive as to reveal *their* specific issues, because I don’t even think they know that I know, even though they were quite open about it on their blog.

I don’t want to sound counter-progressive in this era of mental health awareness, but a part of me deep down is regretful that I wanted to give J.G. some compassion and empathy by looking past their struggles… I asked myself if it was a good choice to get involved with some like this, someone like them; apart from our physical distance and cultural difference, this was probably the biggest barrier. Call it hindsight, it was written on the walls that J.G. would do something like this. I’ve read of other people getting ghosted like this by partners/friends who had such conditions.

And then I look at my own family, with so many women – including my mother – having to look after not just physically and mentally ill spouses, but spouses who are just so ungrateful despite their partner’s sacrifices, it seems. Did I really want to put myself in the same boat? It would honestly be safer to remain single even in advanced age and death than to be… weighed down with such a burden.

But I kept telling myself, “NO. Just because people have mental illnesses doesn’t mean they’re bad people. It doesn’t mean their evil/sinister. It doesn’t mean they can’t live complete lives. It doesn’t mean they don’t deserve to have love in their lives.”

I never wanted to fix them – hence why I never brought up the fact that I knew about/remembered their struggles – but I was willing to learn and to be with them throughout if they would let me, have me.

But now you see why I’ve gone nearly half-insane from this. Because I WANT to think that J.G. is an evil, heartless, sociopath so that I can finally realize that by them ghosting me I dodged a deadly bullet, BUT then I’m still suffering from the fact that I was still non-fatally shot by their actions. It’s proving to be very difficult because… how can somebody be both the worst and the best at the same time? J.G. is definitely the person who – out of all of my past relationships – hurt me the most, yet at the same time, whenever I have negative encounters with men and other people (patronizing, predatory), I always think about J.G. as a comfort tool. Like, “J.G. wouldn’t talk to me like that,” or, “J.G. would protect me and keep me safe.”

The thought of our entire relationship being just a game to them seems incomprehensible to me – it makes no sense to believe that for all of these years since meeting on Tumblr, J.G. held the thought, “yup one day I’m going to fuck this chick,” in their mind and saw an opportunity to do so when I began the process of admitting my feelings to them only two years ago (as I recall, I didn’t even make it on any of their “most attractive mutuals” lists). But then again, some people make it their mission to knock women off any pedestal they have just to “humble” them. Maybe they thought I was snooty or a know-it-all or that I was trying to get into their pants for ulterior motives.

And I guess I just made it easy for them. Stupid, stupid.

Part Three: Lessons

There was a time I wanted to be a teacher – like, a formal schoolteacher. The closest I got to becoming one was when I was an after school instructor for kindergarten and 1st grade kids. I learned a lot on that job – including that I didn’t really want to be around kids and that I was willing to go to graduate school to avoid those type of jobs (once people see that you worked in either public education and/or childcare, that’s all they focus on – especially if you’re a chick). At this rate I’m more cut out for college level teaching; maybe I’ll give teaching at the associate’s level a try in a couple of years.

But no matter my education experience and my experience in public education and the like, it turns out J.G. of all people was a superior teacher all along, unintentional or not.

Because it’s been through their cruelty of silence that finally cemented into my mind that this relationship shit isn’t fucking worth it.

They’ve taught me that no one can make them love or care for anyone whom they see as being beneath them.

They’ve taught me that it’s very easy to put on a veil of “niceness.”

They’ve taught me that it’s not worth it to be around certain people – or really a lot of people.

They've taught me a lot and they were very hard pills to swallow. But I had to. They forced me to.

Conclusion:

So yeah. A year ago around this time – oddly enough I forget which date it was exactly and I can’t exactly go back to check those messages – J.G. said that they’d text me back about coming up north to where I live to visit me. They still haven’t texted me back.

Another odd thing is that is that the event didn’t ruin my Halloween, per se. But that’s not a fucking excuse for them and if they try to use that as an excuse, well, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that they’d stoop to that level to relieve themselves of any guilt – if they have any.

I’m in school again and school assignments are taking up my time. I’m still working at my current job, and that’s taking up my time. I’m trying to finish an independent research project for an archaeology conference in Portugal in January, and that’s taking up my time. And I’m going to Greece with my half-estranged brother in two weeks, and that’s taking up my time.

Shit always hits the fan in October, my favorite month, and it seems like I have no real time to indulge in Halloween after all.

But it feels like the trauma from last October is catching up to me at last, because in reality, the thing taking up most of my time, ruining Halloween, is thinking about J.G.

I wish it’ll end someday.

[spir1tfar3r]

Miss my Lover Man

「 summary: Long distance relationships weren’t always smooth sailing, Iwaizumi knew that. But no one told him just how hard it really would be. He didn’t realize just how badly he missed you until it was too late. You were already gone. 」

Warnings: Death

Words: 1287

a/n: This is a repost from my old account

reblogs are appreciated <3

The alcohol served its tour. And it's headed straight for my skin, leaving me daft and dim

“So... you’re really leaving huh?” Your voice broke the rather comfortable silence that had stretched between you two. You didn’t look up at him, your gaze trained on the cup that was resting in your hand. But you felt his eyes on you, watching the way you swirled the dark liquid in a circle inside the cup.

“Yeah. I’ll be gone in a couple of weeks...” He seemed worried, scared even by the way his voice shook. As he turned his attention over to your mutual friends wishing Oikawa luck in Argentina you let out a bitter laugh. Of course you would be losing not one but two people that you cared about. You didn’t blame them however, knowing that this was a great opportunity for the both of them. You just wished everything would be the same as it was these past few years.

You were hoping this situation wouldn’t ruin the relationship you had with Iwaizumi. You loved him and you didn’t want that to change. Before you spoke up, Iwa’s voice cut through. “I don’t want to break up just because of this. I know it’ll be hard but I want us to work if you’re willing to try.”

He was looking at you now as you glanced up at him. You took notice in the way that he was trying to blink the tears in his eyes away, probably not wanting to cry in front of your friends. You didn’t say anything, moving quietly next to him and resting your head into his shoulder. As he rested his head onto yours, you quietly whispered what he hoped you’d say. “I want to try.”

I’m Mr Loverman. And I miss my lover man

“Hey loser! How’s America treating you?” Your voice relaxed your boyfriend as he set his pencil down onto his homework.

“It’s surprisingly well. I actually ran into Ushijima earlier which… was really weird.” He replied, stretching his arms over his head as you snickered. “How are you doing?”

“Besides missing my boyfriend, I’m good. Matsukawa and Hanamaki hung out with me for a couple hours earlier! So that was really nice. They and Tooru asked me to tell you hi by the way.”

“Did you talk to Shittykawa before talking to me? How dare you.” Iwaizumi teased and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at him, momentarily forgetting that he couldn’t see you.

“Since when did you get so dramatic?” You asked as you opened the door to the university you started attending earlier in the year. Thankfully you both found the best time to call each other relatively quick whenever he moved away. Of course there were times that either one of you were busy but neither of you minded.

“When you’re friends with Oikawa for well over ten years, you pick up on his dramatic antics.” He replied through a yawn. A smile disappeared just as quickly as it appeared on your face. A small pain formed in your chest, though you thought nothing of it.

“Hey.” You spoke quietly. The only indication you got that you knew he heard you was the soft hum that left his throat. “I miss you.”

Iwaizumi glanced at his phone, looking at it with so much love that he wished you could see it. “I miss you too Y/n.”

The way you call my name. Have me runnin’ on and on

Tossing the blanket off of you, you headed into the kitchen of your apartment. You weren’t really sure why you had the sudden urge to go into that room. You weren’t sure hungry nor thirsty so there really wasn’t a reason to be in there. That was until your eyes landed onto your phone on the counter. As you went to pick it up, it lit up due to a call coming through from Iwaizumi. You smiled as you picked up “Hey aren’t you supposed to be in class?”

Your voice actually startled your boyfriend, not expecting you to pick up. “Aren’t you supposed to be asleep?” He retaliated and you muttered a ‘touché’ in response.

“How is school going for you?” You asked and all you got back was an annoyed grunt. You laughed at his response, leaning onto the counter closest to you.

“It sucks. I… just want to see you. I miss you so much.” His voice was barely a whisper and you frowned. You both knew this was going to be hard. Being 4,986.91 miles away from each other and being in two different time zones was clear just how much you both had to make this work. Though it was rough whenever you both couldn’t even video chat.

“Hajime.” Startling your boyfriend yet again from his thoughts, he hummed in response. “I love you so much. We’ll see each other soon ok?” You sounded so sure. Neither of you realized this promise was going to be broken.

“Ok.”

I’ve shattered now, I’m spilling out upon this linoleum ground

“Makki I appreciate you calling but I don’t have time to talk. Y/n’s going to be calling me soon.” Iwaizumi said as he placed his bag next to his desk.

“Iwa—” Hanamaki began, his voice breaking. Iwa immediately knew something was wrong. You sent him a message saying that you were heading to your friend’s house twenty minutes ago and you’d let him know when you got there. You should’ve been there by now. “Y/n got in an accident. They’re in surgery now but it’s not looking good. We don’t think they’re going to make it… I’m so sorry.”

Iwaizumi’s thoughts raced, trying to comprehend how this happened. You always took the exact same route going there so what changed? Did you take a different way? Did you hit someone or some animal? Did someone hit you? He didn’t even realize he was crying until a tear hit his phone. “Can… you please keep me updated?”

Makki nodded, hearing the way his voice broke even though he couldn’t be seen. “Of course. I’ll let you know the moment we get updated.”

“Thank you.” Before Hanamaki said anything else, Iwa hung up the phone. He slumped into the floor crying and holding his phone tightly. He begged whatever god there is that you’d recover. Just so he could keep the promise of seeing you soon.

Oh what am I supposed to do without you?

Throwing his bag by the door, Iwa headed towards his bedroom. He heard the news of your passing a couple hours after the initial phone call. While he hadn’t seemed to be acting any differently, the people close to him could tell how he really felt. Even Ushijima caught on and told him that he was there if Iwa had needed anything. Oikawa began calling more often, sometimes even accompanied by Hinata just to keep him occupied. He appreciated it, he really did but it never seemed to change anything. He still called your phone to check in on you. He always looked at his own, expecting a good morning text from you as you got ready for the day.

Going back to Japan was much harder than he thought. It was three (3) months since the accident but he refused to go near the road it had happened on. Sometimes it even felt like you were there with him. Your familiar warmth had passed by him as he let out a soft sigh. “Hey baby…” he muttered as he took off his shoes and went onto the bed. “I miss you.”

I’m Mr Loverman. Oh, and I miss my lover man

[jazzthatonewriterchick]

Lovers & Friends (18+ Fic)

Pairing: Keigo Takami x Black!Fem!Reader (Friends to Lovers)

Synopsis: In which you and Keigo have begun to realize the strange new feelings you both have for each other after one drunken night at a close friend’s wedding that ends with you in his bed, but because of your longtime friendship and committed relationships with other people, you’re more than happy to forget that night even happened and keep your mutual feelings in the dark…for now, at least. 

Story Warnings: Smutty smut; 18+ (MINORS GET AWAY); Cheating/Infidelity; Mating; Light Degradation; Spanking; Exhibitionism; Multiple Positions; Creampie; Unprotected PIV Sex; Facials; Scent Play; Marking; Spitting; Deepthroating; Cunnilingus; Begging; Edgeplay; Power Play; Daddy Kink; Some Angst; Hurt/Comfort; Mild Violence

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters mentioned in this fic. However, as this is my writing, I do not give permission for my work to be reposted on any other sites that are not from my own accounts. Thank you!

Writer's Note: Chapter 2 down!! Enjoy the read!! -Jazz

Chapters: One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. Eleven. Twelve. Thirteen. Fourteen. Fifteen. Sixteen. Seventeen. Eighteen. Nineteen. Twenty. Bonus Chapter.

Read on AO3 here!

************

Chapter Two: Lean On Me.

You: Hey, I’m being kidnapped by a big ass bird. Don’t wait up for me 

This is the text you sent to your sleeping roomie, Rumi (ha, ha), before you strip yourself of your robe, throw on some underwear, and pick out a simple bodysuit and some jeans for an outfit.

Then you throw on some kicks and a denim jacket, and you grab your important items (money, keys, gum, etc.) before taking your personal elevator in your living room downstairs to the condo lobby. 

Only the overnight front desk clerk and two security guards are up. You give them a nod as you leave to meet up with Keigo in the lot and find him sitting on the roof, legs dangling. “You ready or what, blondie?” you call up to him. 

With a joyous laugh, Keigo stands, stretches, and flashes his wings at you so fast that your brain barely has time to process it. He truly has some gorgeous wings–fluffy, magnificent to look at, and crimson red. They are a stark contrast to the darkened sky, the moonlight coating each tip of his feathers in silver. You can see now why he’s so popular among the public and with the women, other than his handsome face and carefree, suave personality. 

He lands perfectly on his feet in front of you and smiles. “Whatchu got those for?” He nods at the car keys dangling from your wallet.

You stare at him, confused, and then realize with horror what he’s asking for. “No!” you protest. “You know I hate heights!” 

Keigo sucks his teeth at you. “Shut the fuck up, man,” he huffs. “And yet you’ve fought villains on top of buildings before.” He holds his arms out for you, his golden eyes holding a promise of safety. “You know I’ve got you, Y/N.” 

The look in his eyes and the softness in his tone make you melt. Goddamn him for being a good friend. With a slump of your shoulders and a whine, you open your arms for him. Keigo first wraps a secure arm around your lower back, bringing you close to him. The scent of his favorite cologne hits your nostrils, making you want to lean further into him and inhale deeper. 

Then he scoops you up by placing an arm under your legs until you’re off the ground. “Just relax,” he whispers in your ear.

But despite you having done this dozens of times, you don’t relax, even as he takes up into the air. You screech and grip him tightly, your eyes squeezed closed. “Relax, relax,” Keigo laughs, taking joy in your fear. “I’ve got you. You know I’d never let you fall, right?” 

You don’t answer, too scared to say anything or even move. You just continue to grip Keigo’s jacket and any other part of him you can reach. The wind blows your hair and into your ears, helping you imagine yourself in your car just driving and not several feet off the ground. As Keigo flies you to your destination, he hums some R&B tunes, obviously trying to calm you down but it isn’t working. 

After what feels like forever in the air and above Musutafu, Keigo finally lands in front of your favorite bar downtown. “Here we are, miss,” he chuckles.

He places you down gently and once your feet hit the ground, you open your eyes to face the quaint little karaoke bar called Hoshi’s which is bustling with activity on a late Friday night. You’re slightly pissed he’s making you interact in a social setting tonight. All you wanted to do was mope and wallow in your guilt tonight, maybe pour yourself some wine, but of course, the bird brain had other ideas. 

You turn to him with a glare. “One shot,” you tell him. “That’s it.” He nods, not saying a word as you walk into Hoshi’s together, mostly because he knows that that isn’t true. 

And it isn’t. You and him at Hoshi’s for nearly two hours, taking tequila shots, ordering copious amounts of hot wings, and chortling into the microphone after renting out your own room.

You go for the R&B and pop genres and jump from artist to artist from all different eras: Mary J. Blige, Ginuwine, Justin Timberlake, Britney Spears, etc. Half the time you’re laughing so hard that you have to restart your turn. 

It’s exactly what you need: time with your best friend, laughing and joking. You feel warm and happy spending time with Keigo (also from the alcohol), all the guilt and ugly feelings you felt before tonight gone.

After two hours of acting like fools, Keigo once again persuades you to let him pick you up and fly you over to one of the tallest buildings in the city. You still have your eyes closed, but because of the shots now in your system, the fear of flying is replaced with adrenaline. You find yourself giggling to yourself as you feel the wind whip across your face, your arms wrapped around Keigo’s neck. 

“Feelin’ good?” Keigo asks above the whistling of the wind. You nod into his chest, still giggling to yourself. “Good,” he chuckles, his chest rumbling slightly. “That’s what I wanna hear.” 

Minutes later, you come to the tall building belonging to a corporate office and sit along the ledge of one of the glass windows. Keigo sits next to you, his thigh brushing against yours. You stare out into the city lights slightly obscured by the smog of pollution, Musustafu appearing to you like tiny fireflies emerging through a fog. It’s beautiful. 

You sigh in contentment, full of shots, delicious wings, and a bubbly feeling like you just downed some champagne. “I really needed this,” you confess, the alcohol taking its effect on you. “Yeah,” Keigo agrees. “I could tell. I could almost feel the dryness of that sex.” 

You gape at him and smack him hard on the shoulder. “Ow!” he laughs, rubbing his arm. “I didn’t say I saw anything! But anyone walkin’ in that bitch without a brain could tell you didn’t get your nut.” 

You groan, pinching the bridge of your nose. “Was it that obvious?” you mutter, feeling even worse now and the alcohol isn’t making it better. You can feel the emotions bubbling, tears of frustration pushing past your eye sockets.

You suddenly feel Keigo covering your hand with his gloved one and staring into eyes that are like two twin yellow topaz gems. “Talk to me,” he softly says. 

And so you do. You spill your fucking guts to him. “I love Rei,” you begin, your friend’s hand stroking your back and pushing you to continue. “He’s so, so amazing and I care about him so deeply, but the sex is just so…so….” 

“Dry?” Keigo finishes. 

“We’ve tried new positions,” you continue without missing a beat, “and kinkier stuff, but nothing seems to work. We’ve been together for a year and I don’t wanna ruin things just because of something so small. I don’t know if it’s because we’re not compatible in the bedroom or if I just can’t connect with him on that level or–” 

“Hold up,” Keigo cuts in, putting a hand up to stop you. “First of all, has he ever made you cum?” 

You blink at your friend for a moment, attempting to process his question in your sluggish brain gone slow from the alcohol. His bluntness and the randomness of the question shock you. He fixes you with a stare, daring you to not answer or to lie. You bite your lip, your face going hot with embarrassment as you think of every sex-apade with Rei that ended in disappointment.

“No,” you confess softly, shaking your head.

Keigo’s eyes widen an inch. “No?” he asks, shocked. “He’s never made you cum once in the year you’ve been with him?” Once again, you shake your head, flushing with embarrassment at the fact. He whistles in astonishment. “Well, shit, Y/N, you’re better than me.” 

You scowl at him, confused. “What do you mean?” you demand. “You’re tellin’ me you’d leave someone just because they couldn’t make you cum?” 

Keigo looks over at you as if it should be obvious. “After talking to them about what I like and showing them over and over again? Shit, yeah! I’m not about to stress myself out over a relationship where the sex is minuscule.” 

You almost wish you had that kind of attitude. Sex is a big part of a relationship to you, yes, but the thought of breaking off such a nice relationship with such a nice guy because of the disconnect during sex just doesn’t seem right to you. But you suppose it’s easier for Keigo, the bachelor he is. He’s had models; actresses; singers.

He’s been all over the world trying women and men on like shoes. He’s seen it all and done it all. Of course, it’s easy for him to leave when something gets dry. 

“Well, I can see why you and Sakura are still together,” you hum thoughtfully. Keigo fixes his lips at the mention of his girl and you laugh, teasing him more. “How is she, by the way? She still coming to Fatgum’s wedding?” 

Keigo doesn’t talk too much about Sakura, his new girlfriend who he’s been dating for three months–the longest romantic relationship he’s had! Of course, it started as a fling after Keigo met her at a party and went straight to eating her out back at her place afterward, but over time, you were all shocked to find that he was actually involved with Sakura. 

You’re happy for him. Sakura seems like a catch–pretty, pink hair like cotton candy, a nice, petite frame, is a nurse for sick children, and isn’t a bitch. But for some reason, Keigo didn’t talk about her or bring her around much. You weren’t sure if it was because he was afraid of giving too much expectation for it or if it was something else. Something you didn’t know for sure. 

“She’s fine and yes,” he answers blandly, “but this isn’t about me and Sakura. This is about you, your man, and your bedroom problems. So, does he know where the clit is?” 

“Jesus, Keigo!” you shout, smacking his leg. 

“Well, does he?” he urges, hitting you back but not as hard. 

“Yes, he does, God!” you scoff, irked by his bluntness and crassness. “But it’s not just because he doesn’t know how to do me. I don’t know what I want him to do or how to do me because I’m not connected with him during sex. It’s like I’m somewhere else entirely when we’re together.” Even saying it aloud, you feel horrible. 

Keigo notices this and softens his tone. “Have you talked to him about this?” he asks. You peer at him from under your lashes and awkwardly look away. “Not exactly.” 

“What does that mean?” he asks, perplexed. You stay quiet, the shame rising within your stomach. “You’ve been dating the man for a year and you haven’t told him about any of this, Y/N?” Keigo scoffs, understanding your negligence to answer. “Really?” 

“Look, I’m not good at communicating how I feel, okay?” you snap, defensive. Keigo begs to differ, tilting his head to look at you from an alternate angle. “You’re doin’ a pretty good job with me.” 

You sigh, your shoulders slumping in defeat.

“You’re different though, Keigo. We’ve been best friends since middle school and all through UA. You’ve seen me through my downs as well as my ups. At my worst times. Rei has never seen me like that, so it’s not easy for me to just put this all on the table for him. Especially since he’s been working so hard to get that award he’s nominated for at the Heroes’ Gala.” 

Keigo nods understandably. “Oh, yeah, forgot that Gala shit was happening.”

Knowing him, he probably did unless his agency has been hounding him about it and he’s just being an ass. The Heroes’ Gala is one of the biggest hero events in history besides the Hero Billboard Chart JP. The JP event, which happens at the end of the year, is where all pros’ hard work pays off through a higher popularity ranking. 

In contrast, the Heroes’ Gala is where all heroes, whether pro, upcoming, or seasoned, from all over the world gather to celebrate the accomplishments of each and what it truly means to be a hero (at least that’s what it says on their website) by giving out awards and honorary speeches to each hero according to their work and popularity. It happens once every year and its location changes ever so often to be inclusive of international heroes. 

The last one was in London, England. This year, it’s happening in downtown Musutafu and all will be in attendance. Including you. This would be your first trip to the Gala.

You’ve never been to one before either (1) due to work or (2) because you never had a date and didn’t want to see the look of pity in everyone’s eyes when no. 13 pro hero walked into the scene without anyone on her arm. 

Last year you promised yourself things would be different. You’d train like crazy, get some good arrests under your belt, be kind to news reporters after kicking villain ass on live TV and adoring fans while out living life, and get an award to set on your desk, never mind not having a partner. But then Rei entered your life. 

Rei has also been working hard to get his award, whether that be taking extra shifts to patrol or upping his IG game for social media popularity. You’ve noticed he’s been pushing himself hard, doing everything and anything to achieve this goal, so the last thing you’d ever want to do is put more stress on him just because you can’t get your nut. 

You groan frustratedly, looking up at the twinkling stars for answers. “God, why are relationships so complicated? Why can’t my life just be a Disney movie?” 

Keigo chuckles at your anguish. “Mmm, I’m pretty sure if it was, the sex would be nada, babe. Can you even picture any of those Disney couples gettin’ it on?” You keep quiet, trying to imagine Ariel and Prince Eric doing missionary, but you can’t even conjure the thought. “Exactly.” 

He turns to you, his golden eyes twin pools of truth. “This is real life and real life is complicated; so are relationships. But to make sure you and Rei are on the same page, you have to tell the guy what you’re feeling and how you’re feeling.” 

You feel like crying right now. If only he wasn’t right about any of this. “I wish you weren’t right,” you lament, leaning your head on his shoulder. He wraps an arm around you, holding you close to him. “I’ll try, but I wanna do it after Fatgum’s wedding.” 

As the fact comes to mind, you laugh in disbelief into the summer air. “Damn, I can’t believe he’s getting married! It’s about time though. He’s been seein’ Haruko for six years now. Now that’s a perfect relationship.” 

You smile as you think of Taishiro aka the sweetheart Fatgum and Haruko, the curvy redhead with the plant quirk where she can manipulate plants of all shapes and sizes. They met at Haruko’s flower shop when Taishiro forgot to pick up a Mother’s Day gift.

You’ve never seen a couple more in love and in tune with each other. You can only wonder how the sex is–probably perfect. You love them, but damn them! 

“Shit!” Keigo suddenly hisses. You look up at him, finding a pained expression on his face. “First Nemuri and Yu. Now Fatgum? You’re not gonna get married in the next year too, are you? I can’t handle anymore of my single friends not bein’ single anymore.” 

You laugh loud and hard into the night, throwing your head back as you do. You snuggle into his chest, wrapping your arms around him. “Relax, bird brain. Marriage before I make number ranking pro hero no. 12 isn’t in the cards for me.” 

You feel Keigo sigh in relief and feel hurt for him. You can’t imagine how it must feel seeing all your friends move on and fall in love without you while you’re stuck in the same spot. But then again, Keigo doesn’t seem to be looking for “the one” or wanting to move forward too. You’d ever tell him this, of course. The man has his reasons for being who he is, and so do you. 

“And look on the bright side,” you chirp. Keigo glances at you questionably. “If all of us ever get married, you can just throw in the towel and put a ring on Sakura’s finger.” You raise your eyebrows suggestively at him. At this, he pulls a sour face at you, making you laugh even harder. 

See? Reasons. 

After another hour of shooting the shit, Keigo finally flies you home. Once you’re in front of your condo, he helps you right into your open bedroom window, holding your hips as he does. Once you’re inside, you turn to him with a grateful smile. “Thanks for tonight, Kei. I really needed this.” 

Keigo nods, still crouched in the window. “‘Course,” he replies and leans in to press a kiss to your cheek. His stubble tickles your skin. “Get some sleep, alright? And think about what I said. Communication is key.” 

You scrunch your nose at him. “Ew, you sound like Nemuri,” you say in disgust. “Get the fuck out of here.” You pucker your lips at him in an air kiss as he throws up a peace sign and flies away, flapping those wings that cut across the night sky like slashes of red satin. 

You have no problem settling into bed to sleep off the night, but across town, Keigo does. As he’s flying, he slows his role enough to take out his phone and compose a text message to his visitor for the weekend:  

K: You still there? 

*Read at 11:26 

S: Yeah just got upstairs. I’m waiting for u 

*Read at 11:29 

A smile quirks onto Keigo’s lips. He pockets his phone before zooming off toward home, knowing which ways to take for a shorter route. The skies are calm and clean, the warmth of the summer in the air making him sweat in his hero’s gear. He will definitely have to transition into his summer gear soon, but damn, if social media isn’t thirsty. 

When he arrives at his own condo, he lands on his personal balcony and slides open the doors left unlocked to his humble abode. When he walks in, he expects to see the familiar cotton candy pink hair and frilly skirt of his current girlfriend.

But who he finds sitting on his couch waiting for him is you. You’re still in your clothes from tonight, your shoes kicked off, and a happy smile on your pretty face at the sight of him standing there. How’d the fuck you get here so fast? And what the fuck are you doing here? 

“Hey, baby,” you greet him in that alluring, goddamned sexy voice of yours. Keigo is at a loss for words. He steps back towards the balcony, thinking about jumping off of it and flying far away from here and whatever this is. 

“Keigo?” 

Keigo squeezes his eyes closed tight and opens them back up to find Sakura replacing your spot on the couch now. She wears a frilly pink skirt and a white top that adorns her porcelain skin. She’s wearing a worried scowl on her face, her pink brows knitted together.

“Everything alright?” she asks in her voice that sounds like tinkling bells. 

Keigo blinks again, trying to make sure this isn’t another mirage. That alcohol must be setting in. “Uh, yeah!” he replies, plastering a huge, reassuring smile on his face. “Yeah, I’m sorry, babe. Just…thinkin’ about work today.” 

Sakura stands and walks over to him, standing right at his chest. “Well, tell me all about it,” she giggles. “You know I love hearing stories about work.”

She wraps her arms around his waist, pulling him close. “Plus, I can give you a nice massage,” she purrs, a seductive look in her aqua eyes. 

Keigo just smiles down at her and presses a soft kiss to her waiting lips. But instead of her mouth, all he can think about is yours. 

[iaintyourbro]

Shipping Makes Me Question My Sanity

I learned about the FFVII waifu wars after playing the remake. I played the OG many moons ago, replayed it a few years ago, but really got interested in the character dynamics after playing FFVIIR. 

I foolishly looked up “Is the remake pushing Cloud and Tifa more?” I found the shipping wars... That I never knew existed. 

You see, I played the OG and it was pretty clear to me that the story went a certain way. In fact, I didn’t even associate FFVII to romance. 

FFVII was a story about a villain who was pissed off that a grunt killed him, so he finds a way to come back from the dead through clones that his father made to fuck with said grunt and get revenge on all the humans that wronged his Mother. 

(This is my explanation in as few words as possible, because we all know explaining FFVII would take multiple posts). 

So why did I look up my question about Cloud and Tifa? Well, I was shocked at how they presented them. I didn’t remember this from the OG. Like I said, I didn’t associate FFVII to romance like I did with VIII, IX, and X. Those were clear. FFVII didn’t have this as a main theme. FFVIIR created extreme sexual tension between Cloud and Tifa. 

I remember when you finally found out Cloud wasn’t a SOLDIER, that he actually DID kill Sephiroth 5 years ago, and that he did come to save Tifa - he fulfilled his promise. The part when the main theme plays and he takes his helmet off... chills. Even now, I love that part. Still, I associated this with us finally getting answers to some of the weird shit that happens earlier in the game. And I was way too young and dense to understand the Under the Highwind scene. 

Needless to say, I wanted to see if others had the same impression. It seems they did, and those posts were then overpowered by the other side. “Yeah, I used to ship Cloti, but the remake made me see that it’s clearly Aerith.” What? What did I miss? 

So I questioned my sanity a bit. I played every quest - I did both Tifa and Aerith’s discovery quests. Until the point we get back to Tifa in Wall Market, I still was kind of iffy on how they were presenting Aerith and Cloud. They removed a lot of stuff from the OG that was a bit more direct from Cloud’s end. They also removed a lot of the jealousy scenes between Tifa and Aerith. Seems they gave all the jealousy to Cloud in other scenes. 

Cloud clearly is soft with Tifa. He remembers The Promise, he calls her beautiful, you have no choice but to give her the flower. No matter what choices you make with Aerith. He still gives her the flower. He gets jealous whenever he even thinks a guy is talking about her in a romantic/sexual way.

Then I see things like “Cloud was so emotionless and mean until Chapter 8″. HOW? And this goes beyond Tifa. Cloud had a ton of character growth during the first 3 chapters, and it continued on until Chapter 8. This was not something where he suddenly turned nice to Aerith. He had a ton of people help him out before.

Take Biggs, Wedge, and Jessie. Cloud was a dick to them. I mean, he really was. I was sad for Wedge, cuz I think he’s so nice, and Cloud was just mean to him. By the end of Chapter 4, he’s much nicer to them. He’s left out of their celebration, and I think maybe this was a reference to him as a child. He thought he was better than the other kids (except Tifa). He treated everybody like shit (except Tifa) in the first three chapters and Barret told him to gtfo. 

Jessie made sure to let him know she wanted him there. Now, I’m not a fan of how thirsty Jessie is. I mean they REALLY slam it on you how bad she wants to get with Cloud. Cloud then says what I was thinking “Are you seriously that desperate?!” Yes, she is, and it’s obnoxious, but I think it’s a hilarious addition to the story. However, I think it was a light bulb moment that he would be included if he was a bit nicer to people.

Cloud and Barret start getting along more as time goes on as well. This is all before Chapter 8. So I actually have commented on these posts... “Did you play the first 7 chapters? Did you play the rest of the game?” There’s so many points during FFVIIR where Cloud clearly has character development outside of what Tifa and Aerith do. 

They ignore this. That’s my issue. The ignore everything else in the story. They ignore reality, so that makes people like me question themselves.

It reminds me of a personal situation with my job. We had a really bad leader. Like, cruel, mean. And he got away with it for a long time. You can say, “just leave”, but I think anybody with a family knows that’s not as easy as it sounds. Not when you rely on your job for not only income, but benefits, retirement, and stability. Not when changing buildings causes months of legit mental breakdowns (imagine changing companies completely?). So, it wasn’t really an option.

The worst part during all of that was knowing and seeing the reality of what was going on and having people flat out try to tell me that what I was seeing wasn’t true. I had conversations with other co-workers who started to question their sanity. Is it us? Are we the problem? Are we wrong? What are we missing? And that’s tough, especially when it goes on for so long.

In the real life example, there was a resolution earlier this year, where finally the guy was fired. And a lot of people were fighting him. More than you’d think. But they were scared, so they had to be careful. This is real life, not a game, so the stakes were much higher. The truth all comes out after this type of thing, and it was actually worse than we thought. There was a lot we missed, and a lot we just weren’t aware of. We weren’t crazy - there was just a group of his followers trying to brainwash us in to thinking he was great. 

The shipping wars give me the same feelings I had during that. I question my sanity and don’t get what I’m missing. This is beyond how you interpret the LTD. This is legit ignoring parts of the story as it’s presented. SE put these Cloti moments throughout the Remake to make a point. They have Aerith say things to make a point. They even have Aerith stop making moves on Cloud after Tifa comes back and she sees the obvious “thing” between them.

There are tons of analysis on multiple scenes and how Cloud reacts. Facial expressions tell a lot, so does voice acting. There are reasons they put these scenes in. There are reasons they are part of the main story and not part of side quests. There are reasons that the devs responded the way they did in interviews. 

The Ultimania clearly talks about Cloud’s feelings. The OG talks about them. 

So why do I still feel upset when I see these? Well, for one, the posters that say “I was a Cloti until..” in most cases are probably shipping the other side, but this is a great way to make people question themselves. It may make new fans not enjoy the story as much.

Then you have Twitter. And it’s a shame, because there’s some great fanart on Twitter. But, you can’t search for “tifa” without seeing some really bad posts. And it’s the same accounts over and over. There isn’t a large amount. 

The entire goal of these posters is to fight people who don’t agree with them. They also start posting similar complaints about a week after the Cloti side makes them.

The most recent being that Cloti fans are going after Nojima and it’s not going to change anything. What? I saw a similar post about the C////erith side about a week or two ago. Why are Cloti’s going after Nojima? So I went through some of his posts. I found one where he posted about FF7R. The only Cloti posts I saw were thanking him. The C///erith ones were over the top trying to say how it was all C///erith and there was no Cloti in the remake. One even said that “millions of fans want Aerith to survive.” No, I’d say the majority of fans want the original plot points to stay. 

Nojima himself liked a fanart of himself... where they called him the Cloti king.

So where are the Cloti’s going after Nojima? I only saw praise... 

The next new one is that C///eriths aren’t racist and Cloti’s are. I’ve seen this argument in reverse as well. It seems they scope out some things and repost them in the opposite argument. 

I just don’t understand the extreme nature. You can ship who you want, but you can’t erase parts of the story to make it work. Why even bother playing the game? The romance aspect is SO SMALL in the OG. 

In the remake its a bit heavier, but it’s different times. Sex sells. Let’s add some spice to the game, and they did. I felt no sexual tension between Cloud and Aerith. Jessie tried HARD. The only mutual tension felt was between Cloud and Tifa. That deep, dear lord please do something to release this tension, feeling. Cloud and Aerith had cute little moments similar to a Disney movie or a kids movie. Tifa and Cloud had the moments you see in more mature things. 

Some of these moments are optional - the resolution scene you can technically avoid every time you play if you choose to. The Clotiscrew tunnel roll is a bit harder unless you KNOW you can avoid it and/or are terrible at the game. You literally have to try hard to mess up to not get that scene. 

The Clotiscrew tunnel scene is also hilarious to watch people react to. Cuz you do feel like you need to take a quick walk to cool off from that heat. Even my husband who doesn’t give a shit was like “wow, yeah, okay, that’s... intense.” 

It didn’t have to be, it could have been a roll and release, but he holds her and says “You okay?” in that soft af voice THAT HE ONLY USES ON HER. Her response is equally sexy. Then they get up and stare. Once again, not necessary.

All the “unnecessary” touching that goes on is fun to point out. People are still finding moments, I think. During battles, in the background during other scenes. They’re making this a point. They make it a point to show shots of those two during other scenes in the game. They aren’t being subtle anymore. 

So I don’t understand how you can erase all of that. 

The other side has a small group that is completely shitting on Tifa to do it. I don’t see that as much on the Cloti side towards Aerith. I’m not saying it doesn’t exist, I bet it does, but it’s not as easy to find. Almost EVERY shipping fight has something about Tifa’s boobs, Tifa not telling Cloud about his past, something. They make stuff up in some cases.

All of this is a way to recruit people to their side. To “convert” them. I feel bad for the streamers who like Tifa and you see a group come in to try and “correct” that thought. Why do they care so much? 

Maximillian Dood doesn’t seem affected by those opinions - he’s a great supporter of Tifa as a character. He was very happy with the way they handled the remake, and that says a lot. He also has some great reactions to parts of the game. He also is a more experienced streamer, it seems.

My thoughts are... the Remake has blown expectations on how it was supposed to go. Probably a lot of fans assumed they’d make a point to build up Aerith as the love interest... but they didn’t. Tifa is in almost every chapter (2 is the exception). She is referenced multiple times in Wall Market - especially if you actually listen to the lyrics for Midgar Blues. Why place that song in during that part? 

So we go to the attack mode of survival here. They’re going to change as many opinions as possible. They’re going to make people question themselves. Make people feel bad. 

The reality is, there’s a clear cut story - they’re making it that way. There’s multiple hints that there isn’t going to be a love triangle. There’s multiple hints that Zack is going to be a thing in the Remake. They’ve definitely put it on more heavy that Aerith still loves Zack. 

I can only hope that things are made clear. That this can stop. I still say people should ship who they want. Hell, I ship Vincent and Lucrecia (this was my only romantic love in the OG back then...). However, canon is that Hojo and Lucrecia married and had a child. I wanted Vincent to secretly be the father so bad, but he’s not. That doesn’t ruin the game for me, at all. 

It would ruin the game for me, in a sense, if they completely pull a 180 in Part 2 and try to “remove” all of the stuff from Part 1 from a character dynamics perspective. It would feel wrong for Aerith to tell Cloud not to fall in love with her, tell him that everything isn’t real if he does, and also have her back off completely after Tifa is back, and then all of a sudden throw herself at him. It would erase all the friendship scenes between Tifa and Aerith.

And how could you just “turn off” Cloud’s attentive nature to Tifa? It wouldn’t make sense. It would ruin it for me because that is legit trying to erase parts of the story.

I don’t think that will happen. But I still get anxious when I see shit on the internet.

[peepingtoad]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

My muse is:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless /

Is your character popular in the fandom?  YES / NO / 50-50 (There’s a lot of love and a lot of hate, but I think many are actually pretty neutral on him too!)

Is your character considered hot�� in the fandom?  YES / NO / 50-50 (I’d say he may be an... acquired taste? Of course a lot of people I know here find him sexie so it’s hard to say for certain, heh. We may just be the weirdos of the fandom :P )

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO

Are they underrated?  YES / NO (Not in terms of ability, but underrated for just how complex and multi-layered he is, I’d say)

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main character?  YES / NO /

Are they widely known in their world?  YES / NO.

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL (I honestly think he’s a man of many reputations, both in canon and in fandom :’D)

How strictly do you follow canon?  —  I’m very much a ‘use the bones of what we got in canon and do my best to flesh them out’ kinda roleplayer. There are some things that can be taken too easily at face value that I see fit to build upon. For example, I think Jiraiya’s feelings on the prophecy and his relationship with Konoha is something that could be too easily played off as simplistic, or like they were immovable constants. But that’s unrealistic for a man of his years and many experiences, so I try to put myself in his emotional setting at various points in his life, and trace how his feelings and behaviours change, if that makes sense? 

I try to avoid saying that any of the writing was straight up wrong because it’s disrespectful to the creator. But especially for Jiraiya, who had such a significant role to play in the narrative that it sometimes took precedence over his actual character, I do find some of his actions, and the way some interactions were handled in the canon to be a little OOC... so I’ll work with it and try to spin it in a way that I feel fits how he was characterised.

Basically, I’d say that I follow canon, but I like to enrich it in areas that were lacking detail or a nuanced view that took in all the surrounding events of the time. After Jiraiya’s canon death, of course, that’s when more divergence comes in to my portrayal... otherwise I wouldn’t be able to play any post-war scenarios! But the essence of his character is the same, which I try to keep as close to canon as possible.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.   —  A man of many experiences! You can bet that any topic that comes up, he’ll have some sort of amusing anecdote to share, or be able simply to talk shit about it. He's seen so much, and has a sensitive soul enough that he’ll give anyone a chance; he’s very open-minded and non-judgemental, and honestly is a humanitarian that wants to help those in need. Might leave your muse a little baffled as to how he could hold the status of ‘legend’, only to show it when they least expect it. You never quite know what you’re going to get with him: he’s generous and selfless, yet has many vices that seem selfish at times; he’s both a lover and a fearsome fighter; he’s immensely resilient at the same time as incredibly vulerable and damaged; he’s a himbo and a bit of a jock with the soul of a poet. Love him with no restraint and invite his love in return, and you’ll get not only a lover, but a devotee. Wears his heart on his sleeve... or does he? Chip away at him and find out!

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  —  The pervy, flirty, jokey schtick could get grating, or come across as disingenuous. In romantic situations, he’ll keep quiet about putting a label on whatever it is, and beneath his overall sweetness and devotion there may be an underlying reek of commitment issues and a fear of admitting he is afraid. He also has a habit of deflecting negativity in general, and playing things off as if they don’t matter or they’re a joke, making him actually rather a difficult person to get to know the heart of. One might feel as if they’re getting nowhere with him...

... Either that, or they get the complete opposite. Yes, as equally as he can be guarded, he can overshare like crazy, and has a tendency to become codependent with those he gets attached to, which is inconsistent with his free-spirited nature, and how adept he is at keeping others at arm’s length from his less sunny side. This inconsistency might make him seem unreliable—if the fact he’s always off who-knows-where doesn’t do the trick already.

What inspired you to rp your muse?  —  I’ve been a big fan of the Sannin ever since I first read the Deadlock, but being a very young person at the time I perhaps couldn’t relate enough to people who had experienced so much to do them justice in my teenage fic-writing endeavours, so I remained on the sidelines enjoying content by other people (there may also have been a little bit of ‘what the fuck, why do I dig the old dude so much’ denial in there haha). I’ve picked up and dropped my obsession with the series several times over the years, and my love for those three seemed to grow each time. They really are ‘the lost generation’, and as the sole survivors—alongside having a huge impact on the plot, how the shinobi world is shaped, and the three main protagonists—there’s a lot of juicy material there, a lot of emotional background, along with decades of history that basically goes untapped in the canon. 

Anyway, I digress. Coming to the Naruto RPC for the first time around this time 2 years ago at the age of 25, I made this blog and my Deidara one on a whim, but focused on the latter at first. Villains were always comfortable territory for me in my other RP experiences, and I think it made me doubt that I could possibly do someone who is frankly a lovely guy any justice, no matter how much I loved him. I even had the intention of making him fully Akatsuki/Missing-Nin AU at first. Yeah. That’s how stuck in my villain/anti-hero zone I was! But, I think in the end, the fact he actually isn’t a two-dimensional typical ‘hero’ was something I chewed over and realised would be incredibly enriching to write, worth stepping out of my comfort zone for. And being a little more mature and less angst-ridden myself by that point, I found I could resonate with his feelings and ideals in a way that I know I couldn’t have as a teen... but I was still tentative. 

Anyway, after leaving his blog empty for a bit (with its placeholder URL ‘frogdaddy’, which sadly got hoarded by someone else), I cosplayed the old bastard, along with my partner as Orochimaru. We’d been stanning that particular ship and talking about how great the Sannin are in general for quite some time by that point, but being casually in character for fun while drunk off my tits at a boat party, was a bit of an epiphanic moment. Not long after that, I threw myself right into writing this chaotic-good old bastard with gusto, and here I still am :’)

What keeps your inspiration going?  —  Taking breaks to recharge as and when I need to. Seriously. The death of all my other blogs has been pressure (mostly from myself) to be there and force myself to put out regular content, so I went into this not thinking that way and it’s really helped! 

Of course, there’s also the fact that there simply seems to be no shortage of areas I can delve into with this guy. Again, it’s his age and all the missing years in canon... but I think it’s also how much love he has and his genuine eagerness to engage with others that makes him one of the most naturally bountiful muses I’ve played. Because honestly? Most of my villain muses wanted people to just fuck off :’D this guy is open to everything.

That aside, I guess I just gel with him more than I ever expected to. I’ve changed a lot as a person and gained more confidence since various areas of my life got better, and I really just vibed with this chill, funny, romantic, pervy, big-hearted energy. I enjoy angst, but my real love is peppering the serious and heartbreaking with romance and comedy—and isn’t that just befitting of him? Writing through his eyes also helps to keep my outlook positive, so that keeps me stuck on him as much as the seemingly limitless content potential. 

And this is without even going into my cross-fandom AU ideas I have on the back-burner. Honestly, they’re there but I want to put a real effort into them while keeping his essence the same, which for some, involves brushing up on my lore!

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO.

Do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO.

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO / RARELY. (depends on whether I get a flash of inspiration—which mostly comes with random asks that happen to stir up an idea for a scene, such as this one (NSFW warning))

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day?  YES / NO.

Are you confident in your portrayal?   YES / NO.

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO.

Are you a sensitive person?  YES / 50-50 /NO. (I tend not to take things personally but am also very passionate—call it my innate Leo-ness!)

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  —  Hmmm. I haven’t actually had any critique on my portrayal, so I’m not sure haha! I’d say if it’s constructive, then I’ll take it into account and consider it, especially if it’s a case where it helps me realise I’ve perhaps not gotten across what I intended to very well. But I’m also quite fond of my portrayal in its essence, so I may end up just thanking the person for their opinion and carry on as usual :P

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  —  Absolutely! I’ve had some wonderful ones recently and it’s exactly the kick I need to get ideas out, some of which I’ve had on the back-burner but not had a framework within which to write it without it getting derailed. I definitely appreciate a question that will keep me at least a little on-topic, otherwise if I go off on my own volition I really tend to... well, go off! Even if a question is a similar topic to something I’ve already done, it’s a good exercise for me to go back to the similar headcanon and see if I can build further on it, deviate, and link it to show what past thoughts I’ve been working with. A great way of keeping some consistency in my portrayal while making improvements, I find! And then of course I’ve had some questions that are entirely new morsels for thought, and it leads me to something new and fresh, which I greatly appreciate.

Basically, any questions at all, fire away! I may take a while but I will get to them eventually!

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  Yeah. I mean I think it’s just polite to present a reason as to why not, instead of just being like ‘this is wrong/a bad take’ or whatever. Source material is down to personal interpretation, so if I draw different ideas from it to another person after discussion, then we can simply agree to disagree on it. 

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  —  They are welcome to disagree with me I guess? So long as they’re respectful and don’t then treat me as if my interpretation is ‘AU’ or talk about ‘canon Jiraiya’ as if he’s obviously a different entity to my own, then disagree away. But if prompted enough, know that I will most likely defend my portrayal with what I consider to be justification from the source material :P I did pay close attention to it, after all, and I do consider my portrayal to align well with it.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  —  Depends on the nature of it and the conduct, really? Like, people are allowed to dislike characters. I myself find a couple of characters pretty annoying or don’t particularly care for them (granted, usually it’s in a love-to-hate or simply a ‘this character doesn’t interest me’ way), but that doesn’t affect how I behave towards the RPer of a character. It’s just manners, really. People tend to RP characters because they like them, so why would you take negativity right to their doorstep, in this space they’ve made as an expression of enjoyment for, and to develop said character? 

There’s been some people who admitted to me that they didn’t care much for Jiraiya, but then began to like him more with my portrayal and that’s more than fine; I take it as the highest compliment in fact. It’s also the kind of open-minded attitude I like to have with portrayals of characters I don’t necessarily like or have much interest in, because by and large, people do tend to add more depth and nuance than the busy and character-packed canon allowed.

However, if it’s the type of hate that’s got its own devoted circle of bitter bitches, who seem to use so much energy hating a character... then please, don’t engage me. Doesn’t matter who the character is, don’t expect me to follow/keep following your negative ass if it’s constant on the dash—and if the target character is any of the Sannin then frankly I’ll have probably blocked/blacklisted in a heartbeat. The ‘critical’ views of them tend to diminish them as humans, diminish the context and events that surrounded their choices, and in a way that I find is a gross double standard compared to what people will allow other (read: young, attractive, fandom faves, ‘babies’ or ‘beans’) to get away with and excuse the behaviours of. I don’t need that kinda negative energy sullying my hobby, nor do I need moral superiority that isn’t applied consistently across the board.

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  —  Absolutely! I meticulously fret and check, and cringe when I get a reply and happen to spot errors while rereading what I wrote before it! I edit a lot but don’t always pick up on errors, so I’m more than happy to have it pointed out. Chances are, I’ll be far more brutal to myself about it than anyone else would be!

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   —  Overall, yeah. I’m not possessive or clingy (I don’t think) and don’t expect the world from people, nor for them to focus on or favour me or be super fast. I just expect the same respect in return. Having said that, I will express it when I don’t like something or it makes me uncomfortable, provided we’re familiar enough, because if we’re strangers I’d feel like I was coming across as entitled to your energy and emotional labour. I do my best to be diplomatic about it though, and rest assured it doesn’t mean I’m forever mad at you or turned off in any way just because I have a small grievance. I just find that being honest with each other rather than letting things pile up and fester makes a friendship more solid, and basically more genuine and long-lasting.

That’s about it, congrats for filling out!

Tagged by: @dokuhebi​ Tagging: Whoever hasn’t done this yet!

[midnightactual]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

My muse is:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless /

Is your character popular in the fandom?  YES / NO. Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK.  Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. Are they underrated?  YES / NO. Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO. Were they relevant for the main character?  YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. Are they widely known in their world?  YES / NO. How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL.

How strictly do you follow canon?  —  Very closely (to a point), although I’ve made some minor changes to Yoruichi’s character background (most notably, discounting her century of exile being spent purely in her cat form), and largely ignore canon after a certain point (that being Chapter 681 onward, to include WDKALY and CFYOW). There’s also some interpolation as a lot of her history is vague or simply undocumented.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  — Yoruichi has stood at the glittering heights with the people who pretend to run the world, and has also crouched in the trenches of some of the absolute worst of metahumanity’s excesses and horrors. Throughout all that, she has kept her humor, her empathy, and her spark—if anything, they’ve only grown brighter in the face of the darkness she’s traversed. She might seem aloof, fickle, or self-indulgent by turns, but she cares quite deeply—perhaps too much. She knows the real stakes of the vile system which holds up the world, and that ultimately keeps her from acting too rashly, but deep down she’s really only a few bad Falling Down days away from saying, “Fuck it,” and deciding to go full Che Guevara in the name of the downtrodden, oppressed, and marginalized. She is a walking, talking, smiling, multi-megaton thermonuclear warhead of feelings only kept in check by her sharp mind, her low-key lack of faith in her own leadership abilities, her boundless desires to see and grow and learn, and the constant distractions of one handsome, perverted shopkeeper. And so she’s often to be found trying to make the world just a little better of a place, one day at a time. Just under the surface though, is Mordin Solus’s quote from Mass Effect 2: “Lots of ways to help people. Sometimes heal patients; sometimes execute dangerous people. Either way helps.”

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  — Despite all of that, Yoruichi is easy to dismiss as two-dimensional at a casual glance. She’s sassy, sarcastic, sensual, flirtatious, and seemingly often quite easy-going, so it’s possible to think of her as being superficial. She’s also often extremely sexualized, which can greatly diminish the nuance of those aforementioned attributes. As Kisuke’s unofficial fixer and gofer, she doesn’t get the limelight often and her contributions often go underappreciated. The lack of clarity on her past makes it easy to ignore it. And her combat abilities are if anything underrated and insufficiently showcased. In whole, a lot of people seem to class her as either a side-character, one-note, or both. 

What inspired you to rp your muse?  —   Yoruichi was the third character to really draw my attention in Bleach, and that’s only because her reveal was put off for such a long time. I came to see her as having a headspace similar to mine (both positive and negative) and found that I could relate to her more than just about any other character. (Although sometimes it takes me a bit to see things as I think she would; her tongue is certainly sharper than mine.)

What keeps your inspiration going?  —   I’m ride or die for Yoruichi and a few other characters so I don’t have a choice in the matter, to be quite honest.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO. Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO. Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO. Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day?  YES / NO. Are you confident in your portrayal?   YES / NO.  Are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO. Are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO.

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  — Constructive criticism, sure. If someone’s nasty of disrespectful then no, absolutely not. But I know that this is very much my portrayal and vision of her, and I’m willing to consider other views in the same way that I appreciate other portrayals even if I don’t necessarily agree with them.

Do you like questions which help you explore your character?  — Yes. They often provoke me into thinking about things I hadn’t before, or help me sharpen things I already have. I’m always down to talk about Yoruichi.

If someone disagrees with a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  Sure. It might change my opinion, or it might not, but I’ll at least hear it out. Again, provided it’s voiced in a respectful way.

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  — It’s probably not everyone’s cup of tea, but I try my best to be true to how I think she would behave. If someone disagrees with some particular thing, we could talk about it, and maybe it would strengthen my portrayal. If someone disagrees entirely, then there’s just really nothing to talk about.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  —  There’s no accounting for taste, but it’s also not my problem when people are wrong and demonstrate poor taste. Someone can hold that opinion, but I’m not interested in hearing it if they do.

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  —  Yes. If all I get are grammatical corrections (or notices about typos or awkward constructions or whatever else) then I’m going to feel a bit put-off, but I can’t stand seeing them in my own writing. So sure, I’ll take outside help.

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   —  I try to be. I’m not too fussed about other people’s response times, lengths, styles, use of icons, or strength of description or dialogue, to be honest. So, I’d hope so. 

That’s about it, congrats for filling out!

Tagged by: @rukia-kuchiki-divided​, @windstormwielding​, @xyuuken​ (you guys, thank you!) Tagging: @the-lightning-underdog​, @waspandr​, @glacies-tempestatem​, @asobishinshin​, and it’s made the rounds so steal it if you want to.

[divinemissmolly]

My twitter account got suspended because I danced to a Taylor Swift song

So let me get this absolutely straight. I made a 30 second video dancing to “ME!” By @taylorswift and posted it a few times under replies to @taylornation tweets because I was really proud of it. This was in March. October 2nd I got the first email notification that there was a DMCA copyright claim filed against my account and it would be suspended if the material was reposted. I had completely forgotten about these videos because it’s been you know, 6 MONTHS since I did this. I couldn’t remember how many videos I had posted! They then proceeded to slam me with MULTIPLE copyright claims which resulted in my account being suspended on October 14th. They told me the only way to get my account back, would be to have Universal Music Group email a retraction notice to Twitter Support. I tried that and UMG said there is nothing they can do. I forwarded that to Twitter and they told me there is nothing THEY can do. I lost so much on that account. Dms between friends I’ll never get back. Viral videos, memories, mutuals and to top it off, a video of me meeting @taylorswift at Barricade in Tampa at Rep Tour. I’m so emotionally drained from this situation because I’ve been crying and fighting about this for almost a month now and twitter has stopped replying. My only other option is to contact a lawyer. I have no idea if I have any ground to stand on but we’re about to find out. This is absolutely ridiculous. I’ve seen people make videos to @taylorswift music before with no repercussions. Why are some viral and some punishable??? You can’t hold some responsible and not others. That’s not how it works. All I want is my account back. Can Swifties please reblog this so it gets some traction??? I’m so tired of fighting this battle alone. I JUST want my old account back. That’s all. 😔

[cb204]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; mun & muse meme.

fill out & repost ♥ this meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OCs still can make it somehow work with their own lore and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals.

tagged by:  stolen off @sangfear who i can’t tag ?? tagging:  yes

my muse is:  canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated 

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO.    it’s kind of a divided answer, people either like or hate him, but for the most part yes

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK.    i mean hot is obviously subject to personal opinion but i do know people are really into the haunted which is. i have my own concerns we’ll just say that.

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK.    i mean in some respects i can’t blame them? bethany esda really couldn’t decide that either and gives a lot of conflicting stats but considering how many times he’s laid out on his ass & people really like clinging to the weird anime uke moe whatever the fuck its called tropes rather than take into account what he does do ......... yeah

Are they underrated?  YES / NO / IDK.    see .... above ...  joseph is primarily infantilized if not outright fetishized so often in the community i tend not to look at the tag unless i purposely want to suffer and/or shower with an internal angry tangent.

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO. .   he’s ur partner and also mows down entire mobs with a fire axe he’s relevant

Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.   they’re best buds even if “canon” sebastian likes to not act like it 

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO.    he’s not famous or anything, no?

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL.  i mean even his given game description is kind to others and tenacious for all of his faults, he’s good even if maybe a little too much.  

How strictly do you follow canon?  — i have an entire basket of cherries they’re very ripe. (the cherries are my opinions the writing is awful i am just trying to salvage what i’ve got.)

What inspired you to RP your muse?  —  uhhhh well last year erika made sebastian and at the time i was both curious and sick of the fandom i was in so after some playthrough watching and wiki’ing i made an account for a break i didn’t rly plan to stay on that long and now i’m here. i kid that she pushed me but if we are honest my dumb ass tripped.

What keeps your inspiration going?  —  music usually, my writing has always hinged on mood and muse appropriate music. pinterest sort of covers the other artistic half but i’ve also just always loved photography and symbolic imagery.

SOME MORE PERSONAL QUESTIONS FOR THE MUN.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you (or perhaps not).

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO / I SINCERELY HOPE I DO?     i give my interpretation justice because it’s mine i guess?  people out here like it and i’m having fun so that’s really all i’m shooting for.

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO.     i actually lost track which is part of the reason for a soft reboot sdfsdfs -- right now i have a lot of them rewritten and queued though i haven’t written one in a few weeks which should probably be a record. i need to be stopped.

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO.      only sometimes. i used to write them all the time, but anymore i have to be really inspired.

Do you think a lot about your muse during the day? YES / NO / IDK.      what qualifies as a lot ?? i guess yes more than no but  as i am usually working most of my head is usually animal facts and resentment unless i am actively talking to someone.

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO.      i’ve had what a year and a half to decide what i’m shooting for and get a voice down so i’m pretty comfortable.

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO.      17 years baybee

Are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO.      this one is situational though tbh but i mean at the end of the day i am Soft

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  —  i haven’t had any thusfar, i think maybe because it’s not a very large place, but i always like to hope i’m open minded about criticism if it’s something i’m genuinely doing wrong or offensively. especially as someone who is white portraying a character who isn’t, i always want to do better.

Do you like questions which help you explore your character?  —  does anyone not like this??

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  idk i guess it depends? you can dislike things without having reasons, that is a thing people do! but i’m also very open to discussions and viewpoints that aren’t my own even if i don’t agree.

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  —  ok??? i’m not holding a gun to anybody here, i do acknowledge not everyone sees characters the same way and that’s the beauty of different portrayals! as long as i’m not openly being attacked when i don’t deserve it or claiming some sort of portrayal superiority i’m just vibing.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  —  that’s fine?? opinions are fine??? we’re out here to vibe and play with digital barbies calm down.

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  —  i guess? i don’t think i make a lot of them outside of the occasional typo (especially on mobile my fingers are so shaky and i type fast) and abuse of punctuation.

Do you think you are easygoing as a mun?   —  i sure hope so but that’s also not rly for me to decide?

[jeontrack-blog]

a u    r e v o i r

Hello there, As you can probably read by the title, this is going to be me bidding you all farewell. This has been on my mind for the past few months and of course it hasn’t been an easy decision to make. My blog has only been around for a year and three months and I have not been much active throughout, and I still wanted to see just how far I could go, but alas! my journey ends here; for now. I do not consider myself a big or recognized blog, especially as a writer here on this platform, and probably no one would even bat an eyelash that I am finally withdrawing as a writer here on tumblr; but I do not just want to leave without explaining why, especially to my mutuals and the 1K+ beautiful people that follow me, have read my writings, appreciated them and gave me support. I owe them everything. So first of all, I would not be able to upload anything for the incoming months. If you haven’t read my faqs, I am a senior high school student that already attends a health sciences med university and takes a specialized health allied, “pre-med level” strand of studies. You can only imagine how much my studies takes up most of my life to the point where watching kpop videos while on a three hour ride to my university is the only “me time” I have. There is no possible way I can balance writing/posting fics whilst studying. I am sorry but this is something I have to sacrifice for the sake of my future. Like everybody out there, I do have my own life. I hope you all understand. Secondly, aside from my usual constant state of writer’s block, I have lost motivation to actually type down writings I really want to write. And it is horrible because there are some ideas/plots that I come up with and absolutely fall in love with and I want to right them but I just can’t? Writing for this blog isn’t as enjoyable as it used to be, it has become a burden and I am honestly pressured to match everyone’s expectations for the writings I put out. I would still be on tumblr using another blog of mine, and would continue reading beautiful writings our amazing fandom writers put out and also continue being a trash for our boys; so in a way I have not left the tumblr realm all together; just the “being a writer” part. But who knows, maybe one day I’ll return and you’d be able to find my works floating around tumblr again, under another name, under a new persona. This, most definitely, is not the end; I have a feeling that I’ll find my way back again. Whether I would let it be known that I am Bey, the writer of the blog jeontrack, still remains as a decision I would embark on if ever the time comes. Being a tumblr writer has honestly been such a ride. Being able to share my writings was something that made me happy, and to think that even just one person enjoying them already makes my heart soar but to have more than a thousand of you?! Just. wow. I wish I could’ve celebrated such a milestone with you all, and I absolutely regret not being able to do so. So much had happened in this blog that I absolutely treasure. I found friends and people I trust, I even got the chance to talk and befriend writers I’ve long looked up to and had actually inspired me to finally make a writing blog of my own; and some of them even became my mutuals?? Like is this for real? Wow  I’ve learned so much throughout my entire stay on here as a writer, lessons and values that I’ll always keep in mind.  I have thought hard on whether I should deactivate/delete my account a day or two after posting this or if I should just leave it abandoned. And I’ve decided to leave my works up for your reading  pleasure, and for everyone who have appreciated them and had supported me. It is kind of like the little mark that I would leave in this platform. But of course my works are all still protected by a license. My leave does not mean you can plagiarize, repost, or translate my work. Please respect that. I am discontinuing my series Playing With Flames and the (only) fic on my WIP list as I leave. Thank you for being patient with me and I owe you my out most apology for letting you down.   Thank you so so much, I can never express the happiness you gave me and how much I am grateful for all of you. I love you all so much with my whole heart. And now for the last time, This has been Bey, writer of the blog Jeontrack, now logging out.  Under the cut are messages for my mutuals and people I hold dear, that not only became my friends, but had also grown to become my family around here.

So I wasn’t courageous enough to message each and everyone of you personally and I think I’ll just cry if I did.  To everyone in Bangtan Writing Squad. Do you know how much all of you mean to me? Do you know how lonely I was in here? You’ve all made me so damn happy and holy shit I’m looking at our gc now and oh god I’m tearing up because I’ll miss you all so so much. I’ll miss waking up and seeing messages from you all, I’ll miss how welcoming this network and it’s members was, how you all felt like my home on here. I was actually considering deleting my account earlier this year but it was postponed when I met all of you because you made me want to do well, to believe in my works, and I cannot thank you all enough for that. I’m sorry that I’ll be saying goodbye like this, I should’ve done better, I hope you guys don’t hate me. Lolita, Mocha and Icarus, my lovelies, I hope you guys are doing well. It’s too bad that we haven’t been too active lately, I could’ve spent more time with you  ;; I’ll surely miss our shenanigans so much and ahhhhhh godbhksva Lucy and Mak, my babies!!! Mak you’re such a wonderful person, never loose that kindness and positive outlook in life, I adore you so so much. Stay strong my baby. And Lucy hngggg I don’t even know what to say my words are failing me; I’ll miss you so much! Morgan, you seem under a lot of stress lately because of your work and I care for you a lot and I’d still probably worry and fuss about you even after I leave so please stay hydrated and don’t skip your meals. Please take care of yourself! Becca, Dia, Ate Ella, Karlee, Lex, Nell, Raven, Sky, Alex, and Yubin, such lovely people, I’m really going to miss all of you so much. Jacy and Nyx (Lucy too), thank you for being the best admins anyone can ever have. You’ve been so strong for  all of us and for this network. I admire you all so much. Euph, my baby, you’re messaging me on kakao as I type this and I want to fucking cry. I’ll miss this a lot. I feel like this would surprise you the most because we were just on the phone on call for about 3 hours, I actually really wanted to tell you but in the end I couldn’t. Please forgive me. I’m going to miss you so much my baby. Don’t hate me. I love you all so much, I will still be here tho, on another blog of mine and would still watch you and your works grow. I’ll be here supporting all of you. You make me so damn proud. I love you all so much. Thank you. You all have my heart. And lasty,  Jenn! I’m not sure if you’ll see this ahaha I might just break the news to you on SC later or just send you a link because I’m still scared. This isn’t really a goodbye for us since we know each other outside tumblr. But I apologize for not telling you about this. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to continue PWF, I’ve wanted to dedicate the last part to you. I love you so much and I am absolutely grateful to have you. You were my first ever friend on here. You’ve given me unyielding support and believed in me the most. I treasure you so so much. Good bye my lovelies. I wish you nothing but the best, both for your crafts/works on here and on your personal lives. You will always remain wedged in between every crevice of my heart.  

[davidrsmithlove]

11 Proven Tips on How to Use Reddit for Your eCommerce Business

Before getting to the meat, let us just make a quick recap.

Reddit 101

In essence, it’s a mega discussion board. As many as 330 million unique users spend their time on this 5th largest US website (and 18th larges when talking worldwide).

Reddit is divided into tens of thousands of so-called “subreddits” which is a local term for a specific topic thread. Moreover, all users who rpartake in the discussion can personally receive either an appraisal or disapproval from peer Reddit patrons via score system called “karma.”

Karma is gained and lost when people upvote or downvote your posts, comments and when you engage in other onsite activity (like reposting). It could’ve remained a simple medal system if sometimes it wasn’t required to get into some subreddits (a sort of an entry barrier). Certain types of activity like making your posts with pictures or leaving comments in those subreddits also might have various krama requirements. Naturally, low karma of user’s post may be hidden from other users, which is the main defense mechanism against bots, local spammers and general bad-manner users.

Although using anonymous aliases on Reddit is a common thing (and is expected), these accounts each have a traceable history of posts and replies in addition to gained “karma.” Thus it is super-easy for any reader to assess the general usefulness, sincerity, and attitude of the writer for a preliminary decision of whether to trust what he/she posts. The importance of this transparency for e-commerce marketing on Reddit will be discussed a bit further.

Upon a glimpse of a Reddit from the marketing perspective, two things should immediately come to one’s attention.

One is that this website is in English and US users account for over 50%. Which kind of limits the use of this website for e-commerce of goods that either

Can be delivered online or

Can be physically brought to the US soil at a reasonable price (and with easy logistics for the buyer)

Two is that Reddit is above all else a place where people come the exchange thoughts and ideas on mutual subjects of interest. Not to scroll the fancy pictures like in Instagram or get up to date with the news like in Facebook. Reddit boasts a higher than most websites readers to active commenters ratio (these readers are also called “lurkers”). This is important because not everything an e-commerce website has to offer is in fact worthy of being put to public discussion. The goods that are too specialized (e.g. some industrial tunneling equipment) will thus require copious amount of “knowledge seeding” and attracting rare individuals who are familiar with the subject before anything can be offered for sale. And the goods/ services that are too easy to come buy (like an Alibaba dropshipper) will need some god-like marketing skills for hype generation and building up of anxiety before trying to offer something (without risking your karma). But let us assume that your product (or service) meets the above criteria and you are good to go for the Redditors!

The need for naturally growing one’s credibility in the eyes of Reddit patrons can sometimes be too much for a regular business owner or a marketing manager, even if he/ she did well with other means of social marketing like Instagram. This is why there are a few essay writing service who are experienced at keeping close contact with the Reddit public. These people know how to keep Redditors entertained and sell stuff to them at the same time. But if you feel you are up to the challenge of winning hearts and minds on your own, proceed to the tips’ list below!

Obvious marketing

1.    Sponsored posts

Just like it says on the box: Reddit allows you to engage in paid marketing. Reddit payment system Your ad copy can either be “text ad” or “link ad.” Whichever you pick, it will get displayed for a respective target audience and marked as sponsored.

People who’ve dealt with Facebook or Google paid ads before will find the interface quite familiar. The following settings are available to pin-point you desired audience: 

Target users by their interests (keywords and negative keywords)

Choose specific subreddit they subscribe to

Location

Day and time

Device type (mobile or desktop)

All ads are displayed on an auction-based system (you need to set up daily bid starting from $5/day) and CPM (1000 impressions) is the only type of payment available on this platform.

This kind of marketing is treated by Reddit communities pretty much like any other online ads which try to look like regular messages: if your ad copy conveys clear message and is highly relevant to the selected audience you will get some interest. The difference lies in karma score of the account who posts the ads, as accounts with more karma are usually treated by patrons as certainly more worthy of attention.

2.        Banner Ads

You will find no self-service banner ads option on Reddit. Don’t bother looking for one. The only viable way to get your banners to be shown on Reddit is direct negotiations with the portal. Which is typically honored from a large and well-established business. So unless it say “Google” on your office, you’d best move to ninja marketing section. 

Here Comes The Meat! Ninja Marketing On Reddit

3.        Reddit hates spammers and promoters

Simply jumping into a subreddit topic closest to what you want to sell and offer your product or service there is a “highway to hell” with Reddit audience. Believe it or not – you are likely not to be the first person to try and push your goods forward here. And must Reddit patrons are smart enough to see that intention. In addition, unlike Instagram of YouTube Reddit offers them an instrument to quickly downvote your annoying advertising to the point of utter demise.

To be effective with your business on Reddit you should first understand the culture of this community and how to get your point (non-commercial and commercial) through in a most effective manner. There are different posts as well, and you should be prepared nor only for discussion, but for writing a long story to share your experience. You may are thinking right now, that I need someone to write my essay for posting on Reddit, and surely that can be a solution for creating a large number of long read comments. Above all else, you will have to truly and honestly commit yourself to some time of building up your Reddit account image and growing your karma before effectively offering people anything.  So think ninja.

4.        Where does your audience reside? Do your homework.  

To engage efficiently in the ninja advertising on Reddit, you will need first to  do some preliminary research. Find out what subreddits (topic threads) address the issues that are in your (and your product’s) subject field. Are you in car repairs? Search car maintenance audience.  Are you a massage therapist? Dig into sports or back pain discussions.

See how many people are partaking and what kind of info is most praised by local subreddit  audience.

5.        Be proactive and build up your karma and professional image

Once you’re done with the research and successfully found your potential customers, you should start working on the rename of your account. Do actively engage in discussion. Answer questions and comment where appropriate. Be polite and be helpful. Bring value to the table. Over time (and sometimes with sufficient karma gain) your contributions will get noted, and your advice on the subject X will start to be recognised as an expert by the community.

Only after this you should attempt to openly offer of a product or service and expect in to be met with enthusiasm and eager by Reddit patrons.

Why bother that much at all you might as at this point? Well, there is a good reason. Reddit is in fact great fo e-commerce shops as it allows you to address very specific needs of customers who you just can’t target effectively by any other means. And should you meet their expectations both with a word of advise and a quality product you are likely to get more devoted and trusting long-term customers than anywhere else on the Internet. This holds true to both paid and ninja advertising: the more renown you are amongst Reddi public the more trustworthy your ads will be, regardless if you pay Reddit for it ot not.

6.        Ask questions and study your customers

Now, this is the real meat. As Reddit tends to attract a more proactive audience in general (more so than the Facebook or Instagram) you will find some strong and well-grounded opinions here on a wide area of subjects. If so – why now use this feature and ask the people very specific and important questions:

What do they think of your product?

How do they like the new design?

Can we improve it somehow?

What about marketing?

Was our customer service helpful?

Being open and actively engaging your customers in such Q&A activities might help you with some surprisingly deep understanding as to how to make/ sell your goods better. Good advice would be to remain initiative and open a classical AMA (Ask Me Anything) session with your potential customers. Also, remember that whenever a person makes a buying decision, he or she is far more likely to address the salesman they know in person (even in it’s on the account name) than a totally strange shop offering of the same stuff. So treat this not only as research but as an extra marketing effort which may yield grade results by itself.

7.      Exclusive discounts and offers

When you do decide it’s time to engage your fellow Reddit audience with some selling materials – you may take it a step further. Offer the unique discount right there in the thread. Alternatively, run a lottery for the first five buyers to get some valuable little extra from you. Redditors, after all, are a somewhat unique gang. So why not reward them with a little extra for their trust in you and your product?

8.        Keep sticky contact with your customers

Another diamond opportunity Reddit offer to an e-commerce business is that it’s a much more two-way marketing channel than your usual social media with ads due to the nature of the community. It makes a perfect ground for troubleshooting and Q&A sessions with your customers. By no means, you should use it as the only customer service contact point, but rather as a place where you and your customers can get more intimate discussion and create that extra goodwill.

How should you go about it? Make sure you are there when somebody has purchased your good or service. Be bold and ask them if they found their purchase and usage experience satisfying? Did they like it? Did they encounter any trouble when buying or using it? Whom would they recommend it to? Etc.

Do so and not only you will gain respect (and more karma) from fellow Reddit users and those who will find this thread in future.

9.        Go for the fans and enthusiasts

While not an all-around advice, if you are into merchandising or a subculture tailored product – go for the fans. This range greatly from Star Trek fans to young mothers. From Linux users to vegans. And many are found on Reddit.

These people would certainly sniff out a bold promoter from a mile (and demise their karma respectively). But if you do give yourself labour to study their subreddits, their culture and values, if you take a genuine interest in the community and to partake in talks and making valuable content… You will surely get praised for offering and selling them something relevant to their passion later on.

10.    Keep an eye for market trends

This idea is somewhat similar to point 4, but the results can be used regardless of whether you are about to start ninja marketing on Reddit or not.

All you need is to define the existing subreddits which get visited by your potential customers and scrutiny them carefully. Moreover, if there is not one – than that is also an indication for you.

This tip arguably requires the least effort on your behalf: just gain enough karma to enter the subreddit in question (if it has a karma entry barrier at all) and that’s it. Once you do get inside and you see a living and vivid community – start gathering intelligence for your e-commerce business. Read on what’s hot right now. What are Redditors talking about the most (apart from kittens or sex that is; nothing beats kittens on Reddit). Learn of your potential customers’ pain and how they go about it. Assess your rival by how often they get mentioned and what the patrons find good and bad about them.

While not selling or promoting your product directly, you may still gather a great deal of info about your market niche and make sure that your respective product is up to the mark.

11.    Talk with other small-business owners

Would you sell your product to the people whom you find in small business owners subreddits? Probably not. So why is this a tip #11? Well, it because this is how you can get some seriously deep and free advice on things that bother you as a business owner:

How to sell more?

How to keep positive contact with your customers?

How to keep the work-life balance in December?

etc.

Reddit is there to help people get in touch, discuss and solve their problems. And rest assured that there were others before you at some point in their business careers who faced and successfully surpassed what you are facing now. Have the courage to step forward and ask their advice or help. And again you may well be surprised by the hidden power of Reddit. And its fellow patron Redditors.

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