#and whooo boy this just let me itch one of them

[swaps55]

ok ok for the kissing prompt game: mshenko with a kiss in the shower and sad or hurt feelings as the reason, thank you ⭐

Strange how some areas of the Citadel remain perfectly intact. Untouched. The Silver Sun strip is just as filled with noise, movement and color now as it had been the last time Kaidan saw it – before Cronos Station. Before London.

For a moment, he thinks their return will be a good thing. Before turning down the alley leading to the apartment Shepard stops, leans against a railing and just soaks it in. He doesn’t say much – he thinks more than he talks these days – but something about him relaxes. Unwinds. When Kaidan slides in next to him, Shepard leans his head against Kaidan’s shoulder and just…exists for a little while.

It’s good.

But eventually they do walk through that alley, find the elevator and take it up to the penthouse. Right before unlocking the door to his apartment – their apartment, Kaidan supposes – Shepard takes a deep breath, like someone preparing to walk barefoot over shattered glass. A familiar ache settles deep in Kaidan’s stomach.

The party they’d thrown before the final push feels like a lifetime ago, but the apartment looks exactly as it did that last morning when Vega fixed eggs in the kitchen while Tali bemoaned the worst hangover of her life. The only difference is how empty it feels, how quiet it sounds.

Shepard takes it in in silence, looking around with an expression Kaidan recognizes. It’s the same one he’d had when he returned to Vancouver for the Bahak hearings. Trying to reconcile the person he is now with the person he was when he’d last gone home. Before the reapers . Before Alchera. Before Shepard.

With Shepard, that time frame between before and now is much shorter, but the rest runs so much deeper.

Only a ghost of his injuries remain. He needs another surgery on the hip. The fine lines like fractured glass along his jaw are faded but not gone. But they’ll get there. It’s the rest Kaidan worries about. The hollowed out look in his eye. The way he clutches Kaidan when he sleeps.

In the old days, protecting Shepard was a hard job but simple at its heart. Stop the bullet. Diffuse the bomb. Seal the breach. Kaidan still knows all of his baseline biometrics by heart.

But this is different. He can’t protect Shepard from what he can’t see. There’s no combat scanner to alert him to a threat. No weapons suite wired to his HUD to help him identify friend from foe and tell him where to aim.

So many things the reapers destroyed. So many things that will never be fixed. This can’t be one of them. Shepard won’t be one of them.

But it’ll take time. At least they have it to give.  

Shepard wanders further into the apartment, looking into the kitchen. Up to the balcony. Kaidan doesn’t know what he sees, but gives him space to see it. Learning when to hold him close and when to give him room is one of the things Kaidan is still learning. After Alchera, and now London, every instinct he has screams to never let Shepard go again. But sometimes holding on means doing just that.  

Shepard stops at the stairs, hesitates, doesn’t look over his shoulder.

“Kaidan...”

This is one of those times.

“I’ll be here if you need me,” Kaidan says, soft but firm. A promise. Shepard nods and trudges up the stairs.

Sometimes he can see the invisible enemy coming. Other times, like tonight, he understands there are parts of Shepard he’ll never fathom.

It won’t stop him from trying.

~

Another thing Kaidan’s still learning is when to trust Shepard to ask for help and when Kaidan just needs to relentlessly, recklessly give it.

When he finally goes upstairs, the shower is running. He almost lets it go. There’s unpacking to do. He can wait for Shepard in the bedroom, gauge what he needs. Instead that feeling coiled in his gut whispers a warning, and he pushes the door open.

Steam billows outward. Shepard sits on the floor of the shower facing away from the door, forehead resting on knees pulled tight to his chest as streams of water run down his neck. Through the fogged glass Kaidan makes out the irregular knots of the Cerberus implants holding his spine together in the curl of his back.

“Shepard,” Kaidan says softly, already pulling his shirt over his head. He’s gotten good at hiding his alarm.

Shepard doesn’t look up as Kaidan steps in the shower with him, settles to the floor and wraps his arms around him, pulling him close. He half expects resistance, but Shepard allows himself to sink against Kaidan’s chest. Kaidan scoots back until his back rests against the shower’s glass wall, and then tightens his grip. In return, Shepard slides a hand up Kaidan’s arm and grabs hold.

“Sam,” Kaidan whispers, pressing a kiss against his temple. “I’ve got you.”

For several long moments there’s no sound but the rain of water striking the tiles. Kaidan alternates between stroking Shepard’s wet skin and just holding him fast and steady. After a while his legs feel stiff and his butt starts to complain about the hard tiles, but he stays put.

In his arms, Shepard stirs.

“I took everything from him,” he murmurs.

“Who?” Kaidan asks, smoothing a hand over Shepard’s scalp, deflecting some of the spray. The hairs there are longer than usual. He doesn’t shave it as often, now.

“Anderson.”

Kaidan’s stomach drops. They haven’t talked about Anderson yet. There’s so much they haven’t talked about yet. “What do you mean?”

Shepard clings to him, as if the answer would somehow drive him away. “The Normandy was supposed to be his. I took it. He was supposed to be the first human Spectre. I took that, too. Hell, the SR-2 was going to be his. Instead he stayed on Earth and I took it. And this…” he looks up towards the ceiling. “This place was his. And I’m the one sitting in it.”

“He gave it to you, Shepard,” Kaidan whispers against the water. “You didn’t take anything from him.”

“I shot him,” Shepard says, voice wavering. Kaidan stills. Shepard’s grip on him tightens, a silent plea not to let go. “The Illusive Man used me like a fucking puppet. I fucking shot him and you know what he told me before he died?”

Kaidan shakes his head.

“He said he was proud of me.” The words come out hot, angry. Shepard is so full of rage he shakes. “I took everything from him. Even his life. And he was proud of me.”

“You didn’t take anything,” Kaidan soothes, heart thumping. “He gave it all to you willingly. He was proud. He believed in you.”

Shepard’s chest heaves. The sound that comes out of him is wrenching, hollow, broken, and Kaidan wonders how he was able to hold it in for so long.

This is a pain Kaidan will never know, could never hope to understand and is helpless to stop. So he doesn’t stop it. He just holds on tight so they can ride it out together. It’s not much, but it’s all he has.

When Shepard is finally spent, Kaidan turns off the water, finds them some towels, dries them off and takes Shepard to bed. They lie face to face, Kaidan cupping Shepard’s cheek and stroking his jaw with with a thumb.

“I love you,” Kaidan says softly. It feels like so little. But Shepard’s features soften as his eyes drift closed, and maybe, at least for tonight, it’s enough.  

[just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi]

Found - Rudy, Mason, and Clyde

The end! Of the arc! Whooo this has been fun! Thanks to all who read. (i'm not down with them as oc's but this arc is over.)

TW: whumper as caretaker, stressed whumper/caretaker, distant whumper/caretaker, drugging tw, implied changing of clothes, implied bathing,

[Masterlist] [Stalker Arc Tag]

Mason was sitting at his desk, vigorously typing an email to the support of every social media platform he could. They weren’t giving him anything, even though he knew that they had the information. They must - companies are always doing shit like that. Tracking. Monitoring. They knew who this creep was and they were protecting them.

At this point, he was ready to get his lawyer involved if he got yet another generic-reply email.

Clyde was curled under his desk. He hadn’t done that in years, not since he was new and very attached to his new Master. Mason trained it out of him a while ago, but something about the familiar place was safe for him right now. So, Mason allowed it.

His phone rang and he reached for it automatically. There had been a lot of calls over the last couple days, and he was nearly fed up with them.

“Hello?”

“Hello, is this Mason Driver?”

He took a deep breath and massaged the bridge of his nose. “It is, who is speaking?”

“Hi this is Amber from the Lakefield Pet Shelter? We have your pet here-”

Mason stood quickly, accidentally kicking Clyde in the process. “Ah, fuck, sorry bud. Is he okay? Who brought him in? Is he hurt? Where is Lakefield I want to come pick him up-”

“Sir, sir, please slow down. He’s okay, he’s got a sprained ankle and is a little roughed up in general, but he’s okay. You can come pick him up at any time, someone from the local department already came and spoke to him.”

A strange sense of anger swelled in him for a moment that someone questioned his pet without him there, but he shoved it away quickly. Other things to focus on, other things he had to do. The woman was still talking but Mason was distracted looking for his keys.

“Can I pick him up tonight? Now?”

There was a small pause. “Yes, Mr. Driver, you can come get him tonight.” After a couple other bits of information, Mason left the house to go get his pet.

Clyde crawled out from under the desk, rubbing his sore hand, a bit confused but hopeful he was understanding half the conversation correctly.

~~

The first thing Mason felt when he saw Rudy hobble out to meet him was relief. Relief that he was back, he was safe, that he was here. Then it was anger. Anger and resentment at the brace around the boy’s ankle, the wraps around his wrists and neck, the bandaids on his face. He had to force his face to remain happy and neutral when he saw the bruise on Rudy’s temple.

“Master!” he cried, nearly falling into the kneeling man’s arms. Mason held him close, arms wrapped around.

“Rudy, thank fucking god you’re okay. I was so worried, oh my god. When I find out who took you I’m gonna-”

“Y-you, you know him, Master,” came Rudy’s muffled voice and Mason pulled him away, held tight by his shoulders.

“What?! Who, who the hell would do that? Someone that I know?”

“It was C-Casey, Master.”

Mason’s face grew grave, clenching his teeth. He should have fucking known. Of course, of fucking course Casey would pull some shit like this. Obviously Mason had called out of work, didn’t care what was going on back at the office during the few days Rudy was gone.

Rudy whimpered and Mason released his right grip. “Oh, I’m sorry Sweetheart. God, that fucking snake. I’m going to ruin his whole goddamn life, just wait and see if I don’t completely blacklist him. He’ll never fucking work with pets again.”

“Sir,” hinted one of the workers, reminding Mason of the other people in the lobby. He didn’t care.

“Come on, let's get you out of here.”

The worker nodded and gestured for them to come up to the counter. “He’s ready to go, just need to go over some paperwork and at home care for the other injuries.”

Rudy pressed himself into Mason side as the man’s brow furrowed. “Other injuries? What happened?”

“He’s a little bit dehydrated, but that should go away in a day or two. The bandages around his wrists and neck are to keep him at scratching at the healing skin, so you’ll need to keep those and on use this ointment that’s listed here. Same for the welts on his back. His ankle is sprained but not too badly, so follow up with your regular provider for that. Other than that, you’re good to go.”

Mason swallowed and signed the forms without another word, not trusting himself to say something he’d regret. Besides, it wasn’t their fault.

On the way out, he was already calling his lawyer to get every medical expense taken out of Casey - money or blood.

~~

Clyde was at the door, bouncing at his heels as the key turned. He had been looking out the window, saw when they pulled up. Saw when Rudy got out of the car! He was limping but he was there. He was home.

The older pet nearly knocked him over as they came through the door. Mason had to grab him by the back of his collar to drag him off.

“Clyde! Back! You know better what the hell,” Mason muttered, setting him down on the ground a foot or two away. Clyde looked up at him, clearly wanting to go back to Rudy. Mason rubbed his temples, too tired and frustrated and betrayed to deal with this.

“Room.”

Both boys whimpered, Rudy tugging on the hem of Mason’s shirt to silently plead him not to. “Now, Clyde. He’s fine. Just go upstairs so you’re not underfoot.”

Clyde gave him such wide, hurt, miserable eyes that Mason nearly took it all back. He sighed, but held firm. He said what he said and Clyde needed to obey that. With another glance back at his friend. Clyde crept up the stairs. Rudy whined after him over Mason's shoulder as the man picked him up and carried him to the living room to set him on the couch.

The boy whimpered as Mason walked away, but quieted after a shush.

Mason stood in the kitchen, holding onto the counter and stared at the tile backsplash. Why was this so hard? Rudy was back, he was going to be fine, the police found Casey and his lawyer said his case was good over the phone. He shouldn’t feel so tense, so tight-wound and anxious. The boy was right out there - why couldn’t Mason accept it?

He rubbed a hand across his short stubble and grabbed a water bottle from the fridge, along with a drink for Rudy. He just needed time, he guessed. Needed to sleep, and probably eat something, and he’d calm down. Meandering back into the living room, he texted his boss that he was taking some personal time off.

Rudy was curled up on against the armrest, tears bright in his eyes. Mason regretted snapping at him, at both of them, but it would pass. They probably wouldn’t even remember tomorrow.

“Hey bud, drink up. How are you feeling, are you hurting?” He asked as he opened the lid for him.

The boy grabbed the bottle and took a sip, nodding slowly. “I, I’m okay.” His lip was quivering, breath shallow and shaky.

“I missed you,” he confessed as he broke, reaching up for Mason who immediately sat down with him. “I m-missed you s-so much, and Clyde, and h-home, I wanted to get away. I was so scared and c-confused and he was mean and hurt me and-”

Mason shushed him gently, pulling him close and petting his hair. “I know, I know Sweetheart. I’m so sorry that happened - I promise, it will never happen again.”

“He wrote on m-my, my scan-y thing,” Rudy said, itching at the side of his shirt. “And, and he took my collar and made me wear a muzzle that cut my mouth and I didn’t eat because- because I just couldn’t and-”

Mason shushed him again, and this time took his drink so he could really lay the boy down. Poor thing was spiraling, clearly over-stressed and exhausted too. “Shh, Rudy, you need to relax. You’re okay.”

“-he, he made me so confused, Master,” Rudy continued, seemingly unable to stop confessing everything that had happened. “I-I know I belonged to you, because, because of m-my collar and my chip but he made me wear his collar and I started to get confused and forget and uh, hng, I, I think I might have called him Master once and I’m sorry! He wasn’t always bad and one time he pet my hair and I tried to struggle but I didn’t that time and I’m sorry.”

“Okay, okay woah bud you need to slow down. You’re okay, you don’t have to talk about all this right now. I know, I know.” A pause as Mason thought. “Do I need to get something to calm you down?”

“I think I was bad?” Rudy started again, rubbing his eyes and hiccuping. He wasn’t listening to what Mason was saying, which was a kind of answer in itself. He was just more convinced of his choice as when he stood, the boy kept muttering confessions to himself. He’d have to re-visit some training in the next couple days, he reconned, just to correct some thoughts that asshole had implanted.

Rudy took the pill unusually well, words petering out until he was quiet. Mason rubbed his head just the way he knew the boy loved, listening to the unconscious hums of contentment.

“Lets get you to bed early tonight, hm? We’ll deal with all this in the morning.”

He seemed much heavier, now that he was out of it. Mason still got him upstairs, sat him on the bathroom counter to clean him up a little. It also gave him a better chance to see Rudy’s injuries without the boy wiggling and squirming everywhere.

It made his blood boil.

He had seen worse, he had definitely seen worse just walking down the street but that didn’t fucking matter. Rudy was his, and he had not given permission for someone to treat his pet like this. The muzzle had clearly been too tight, chafing and rubbing the sides of his face raw. Same for the collar, and the scratch marks from where Rudy had been clearly trying to get it off. Bruises on his hands and knees, what seemed like a bit of blood in his hair.

Mason cleaned him up the best he could, until the only proof left visible were the bandages and bandaids. He changed those, too, to some colorful ones he had for the boys. Rudy would like those better when he was awake.

After changing him into his pajamas, Mason carried him to his own bedroom and put him on the bed. He sighed and went to go get Clyde.

Clyde was in his room, standing in his pajamas right by the door. The boy had obviously been crying, gently cradling his bruised hand. Mason picked it up carefully, examining it.

“Shit, did I do that, Bugs?” he said, convicted. Clyde didn’t really answer him, eyes glancing from him to the door repeatedly. Mason sighed with a tired smile.

“Yeah, go see him.”

In a flash the boy was gone, down the hall to be with his friend. Mason turned the light off in their room before he went to join them.

Finally, back together. As they should be.

~

tag: @whumpingredroses @as-a-matter-of-whump @albino-whumpee @whumpeesblog @suspicious-whumping-egg

[lucarioisinthevoid]

Im curious, does anyone in the Group(tm) have a sibling? either canon or not. im just curious.

For a few second Phone Guy looked at the Anon, then proceeded to cry his eyes out. Mike made a small, annoyed noise. “No. I don’t. But I always kinda wanted one.” A bit awkward he scratched his neck. “You know… I always imagined it would have been cool to have an older or younger sister. Just someone who helps me keep my brain cells, you know? Or at least someone I can lose brain cells with.” A bit melancholic he shook his head. “… it would have been nice if there would have been someone at home that I would have given a shit about. A reason for me to not fucking act out like a cunt. But in the end I was on my own and I couldn’t give less of a shit what happened to me.” He itched the back of his head. “And now I got scars and hallucinations for it. Yay me.” (Canon or not? What an awfully specific way to put it. Like you KNOW something.Candy’s isn’t particularly canon to my AU, it’s already messy enough, but fun fact, if they were canon, Mary would probably be his long lost sibling. Because that just makes sense to me! And it’s cute.The fact that Mike WANTS a sibling though is just a private easter egg to an old OC that was kinda similar to Mike, so there’s that.Wait, is it an Easter Egg if only the creator knows of it…?Hm.)Jeremy smiled widely, very excited. “Yes, I do! Her name is Elisha! But she HATES being called that, so I just call her Ellie. She is so jealous that I got a "normal” Christian name…“ Happily he snickered. "I think her name is great though. She’s four years older than me! And she has her stuff together! I only rarely hear from her since I… kinda… rarely talk to my dad anymore…?” Awkwardly he coughed. “But last time we talked, I heard she’s moving in with her boyfriend, much to my dad’s dismay. He doesn’t like him for some reason. Maybe he’s just worried because she’s now really growing up or something. Anyways, I love her lots! She helped me make costumes every Halloween! She’s SUPER talented with arts and crafts, but boy, she didn’t get any of mom’s baking talents. That’s all mine!” The boy was grinning his ass off. “Ellie moved out pretty early after her 20th birthday… I missed having her there. She knew how to handle it when there were fights, nothing seemed to affect her and she always called us out on our bullheck.” A bit more somber he recounted. “… even if I feel she sometimes was a bit unfair… to me…” At that part he was a little ashamed. He probably shouldn’t say that, he didn’t know for sure after all. But he was trying to be honest here!“I hope I’ll see her again soon. She often tries to get around family gatherings, so it’s always a gamble if she’s there or not.” Ethan shook his head. “No siblings. But I had a lot of cousins! Some of them lived really close, so we somewhat grew up like siblings? Except we didn’t share a home. Which was probably for the best, they were all really rowdy. They lived in the same city, we met up every week!” It never was his type of game to get messed up, but they were nice to be around every other day and generally a crazy supportive part of his life. “We all got separated by time though. Moved away, gotten better opportunities… I’m sure they’re doing great right now.” His cousins were all clever and talented. There was no other way. Dave shrugged. “I dunno! I don’t think so? Unless ya be countin’ the daisies and dandelions as somethin’ like that. That’s all that came out of my dad, as far as I know.” It was HARD to remember. When he asked his mom where his dad was, it always was a variation of down below. So perhaps his dad made him dandelion siblings! Perhaps the eggplants were related to him. He wasn’t sure. Then again, one time his mom said ‘on the other side’, so perhaps his dad just lived across the street and never came to visit them. Maybe the earth was better over there, who knows. He never cared much. “They might be actually! Never told the cops a thing about my deeds! So they’re fuckin’ trustworthy fellas! Just like me!” Old Sport shrugged. “Nope. No siblings. My family… was a bit too busy for another child. Barely had time for me, hah… sometimes I like to joke that the only reason I was conceived was due to some sort of catastrophe that forced people to stay indoors for a few days!” And nobody would laugh.Because nobody was there at the dining table.As he poured his milk into his cereal the third time that day, because nothing else really was there that he could make for himself. Sure, there were babysitters occasionally, but you couldn’t really tell them clever jokes. They came and went. “… let’s not talk about stuff like that okay!” Suddenly Old Sport started laughing loudly. “You know what I want to do? I want to see if I can- if- if I can create a high-chair by combining as many chairs as possible and then putting wheels and rockets at the lowest chair! LET’S DO IT! GONNA BECOME A WRECKING BALL BABY! WHOOO-HOOOOO!” Everyone turned to stop him as soon as they realized what he was doing. “OLD SPORT, NO!” they would cry. “OLD SPORT YES!” He would retort and create a spectacle for the whole world to marvel at!ALL EYES ON HIM!All eyes on him. Just once. 

(Oh, also, I realize this is only an ask for the group, but Henry actually DOES have a non-canon sibling too!It’s Max Mustard Man the Magnificent Mannerly Murderer, he’s a riff on the orange/yellow character from ffps and basically created when me and Dayshift-at-Jules bantered around.I love him, he’s the greatest character and Henry tormented him into sociopathy as a child, even damaging his eye. Now he’s working retail. ... which actually means maybe Henry DIDN’T make him a murderer and it’s the job. It would be totally understandable.)

[voltronbutheadcanons]

A fluffy scenario where lance and his s/O are celebrating his birthday back on earth with his family. ; ₩;

Sorry that these are all late! But we’re super-psyched for S3 and the Mods will reunite on Wednesday! So, we’re keeping up!

I made this kinda langsty, but it fluffly nonetheless! ~Mod Saffron

“Eyyyy, Lance!” Lance’s mother opened the door wide as soon as she saw her youngest son in the door frame, smiling wide and itching to hug. She embraced him tightly and kissed his cheeks soundly. “Como estas, mi hijo? Come in, come in! You must be hot, love!”

“Always smokin’, mamma.” Lance winked at his mother as she tugged at his forearm, closing the door to his childhood behind him.

Walking him down the leading hallway to the living room, Mrs. McClain bounced happily along as she dragged her son to where everyone was waiting in clusters of conversation. She then bounded into the wide room, waving her hand and tugging Lance in front of her. “Everyone! Birthday boy is here!”

The minimal conversations cut short and all cousins, siblings, friends, and other relatives joined in a united and powerful ‘Happy Birthday’ song, but not before everyone shushing everyone else.

“Felicidades, Lance, en tu día que…” 

Someone off to the side quickly hissed at another to flick off the lights and candles were hastily lit with many cigarette lighters. Lance’s father balanced the homemade cake made by his sisters onto his wide palms and began to stride towards his son, a beam deeply imprinted within his features.

Lance  took this chance to cover his mouth with his hands as a shocked person would (though he was totally expecting this) and jokingly waved his hand around his eyes to make it seem as if he were tearing.  Everyone momentarily stumbled in their song with a chuckle, only to continue on with the counting of Lance’s previous ages. 

“Are you one? No! Are you two?” The children chanted excitedly.

“Yes!” A cousin called from the back of the room. Shattered laughter echoed throughout the room once again.

Lance stood on his tiptoes to raise his head higher and halfheartedly called to the crier, “Oh,shut up, Arlo!” 

The young relatives of the family giggled and laughed when Lance’s father lightly swatted the back of Lance’s head while simultaneously trying to balance the cake properly. “Watch your language. There are kids around here.”

Lance laughed at his father’s attempts to chide him and grasped his hand instead, squeezing it tighter. “Ah, I know. Thanks, pappa.”

A kiss was pressed against the side of Lance’s head as the cake settled down at the head of the dining table, where Lance was seated. “Happy birthday, son.”

“Whooo!” Lance fist-pumped the air excitedly while his aunts kept trying to take normal pictures of his moving figure, only to end up with blurred photos from his eractic movement. “Let’s cut this cake!”

A tug on his sleeve directed Lance’s attention to beside him where two oceanic eyes struck him deep in the chest. “Uncle Lance?”

“Yeah, bud, what’s up?”

“Can I have the jelly part of the cake,” the soft voice asked.Then, several other kids popped up from this secret conversation. 

“Ooh! Ooh!”

“Me, too!”

“Me, too!”

“I want the jelly also!”

“Hey, I aksed for it first!”

Lance’s oldest sister, Maria, raised her hands and crossed them over several times. “Alright, enough! Everyone’s gonna get cake, but those who yell and shout will not get anything, and I can say that because I made the cake!”

The birthday boy nodded, impressed by the sudden silence and excited tension in the air. “Well done, Maria. Well done.”

She turned to him with a roll of her eyes and a heaving sigh. “These kids… I don’t know how you get them to listen to you. It’s like you have magic.”

“Magic is correct, dear sister of mine.” Lance leaned back in his chair as his sisters dipped their fingers in a bowl of water and hastily pinched the flames out. “I have been to space and all, meeting magical princesses and–hey!”

Lance’s surrounding relatives jumped in surprise as he sat up, gripping the armrests on the sides of his chair with a tight clasp. “Where’s my friends? And (Name), did she come, mamma?”

Mrs. McClain’s face fell a bit as she rubbed her knuckles nervously. “I’m sorry, Lance. I called all of your friends and (Name) a few hours ago, but they did not pick up. I’m sorry, mi hijo.”

Lance fell back into his chair, a little sullen at the fact that his friends, Team Voltron, and his girlfriend weren’t coming to his awesome birthday bash. “Ah, it’s okay. I might see them later tonight, if I make it to the coffee shop.”

His mother rubbed his shoulders, feeling a little sorry for making her son’s mood drop but soon…

“Well,” Maria clapped her hands to grab the attention of all the drooling children, who were eyeing the cake hungrily. “Why don’t we let Lance cut the cake, so everyone can start eating, and then we’ll play some games!”

Lance pushed away his sorrowful thoughts and put a smile on his face. “Alrighty, here we go!”

The children eagerly yelled, “Yay!” as Lance slipped the cutting knife into his hands and carefully angled the blade to form two perpendicular lines, creating a perfect triangle. Another tap alerted Lance and he paused his movements to look to his side once more. “Yes?”

Maria’s daughter gazed upwards towards him with wide brown eyes and a worried expression on her face. “Uncle Lance, you can’t cut the bottom of the cake! You’re the birthday boy and Mama said that you are never allowed to cut the bottom!”

“Yeah!” Her brother chimed in. “It’s a bad super-zition.”

Lance’s lips curved in an upward grin. “You mean superstition?”

“Uh-huh!”

“Okay, okay, I won’t.” Lance patted her curls. “I won’t cut the bottom.”

His niece closed her lids in relief and wiped her brow dramatically. “Phew!”

The adults laughed and prodded at Maria’s upbringing towards her children, but she just rolled her eyes and pointedly glanced towards her own mother, who was shaking her head and remaining adamant to her beliefs.

After cutting several pieces, Maria proceeded to lift underneath the slices and plop them onto ocean-themed plates to hand out to all. The younger cousins got first pick and ran outside to sit at their designated table, fervently diving into their slices.

Lance politely made conversation with his aunts and older cousins to humor them, but as he picked at his cake slice, he couldn’t ignore the slight prick at his heart when the thought of his friends’ absence hit him once again. As good as his acting skills were, Lance felt his facade slip away with every poke at his cake. The many familiar faces  of his family reminded him of seven missing visages from his birthday bash.

Gosh, he hadn’t felt this lonely in a very long time.

Several minutes passed. Lance was caught up in his own thoughts, mulling over every possibility that his friends could take to skip out on this special day, but he couldn’t help noticing the laughter and mixed chatter in the room level down a bit with each passing second. People were now talking in hushed tones and glancing out the window leading to the front yard every now and then.

Suddenly, he was blind. He yelped when the cold hands snapped shut over his vision and made shivers travel down his arms, raising goosebumps. Lance pried at the strange hands with nimble fingers and he heard several uncles chuckle at his attempts.

“Hey! Wha–” He scratched at the fingers, hoping to fling the blinder off of his precious face. The person grunted with slight pain. “Let go!”

“God, for someone who loves me, you really do hate surprises.”

His breath hitched in his throat and his efforts to reach the person froze. Lance’s broken heart started to easily repair itself as soon as he heard well-known voices giggle and snort, much to his helplessness. A hopeful smile stretched onto his features and he let his arms drop.

“…(Name)?”

He could suddenly see once more, blinking harshly to get accustomed to light, and swiftly twisted in his chair to see the beaming face of his girlfriend with Team Voltron behind you. “Surprise!”

Tears pricked at the corner of his eyes. “Guuuuys! What the actual heck!”

Laughter rang throughout the room accompanied with broken applause as Lance sprang up to tightly embrace you, the other Paladins circling him to ensue one huge group hug. Hunk lifted everyone up as quickly as he could and squeezed you with a iron-like grip before dropping everyone to the ground.

“I thought you weren’t coming!” Lance exclaimed, wiping away teardrops with a finger. He wasn’t faking this time.

Keith rolled his eyes but smiled nonetheless. “Whoops, we lied.”

The two chuckled and clapped hands, tapping each other on the back with affection. “Don’t be a jerk, it’s my birthday.”

“Whatever.”

When he separated from Keith’s hug, he turned to every Paladin individually and personally thanked them for their arrival. Pidge was a bit hesitant to let Lance bawl his snot all over her, but she gently comforted him with friendly pats on the back.

“Aw man.” Lance sniffed and wiped his eyes, laughing shortly when he rubbed his red nose. “You guys made me cry.”

Shiro crossed his arms, trying to ignore Lance’s aunts curious eyes over his broad shoulders and bulging muscles, and chuckled. “Well, serves you right for all those times you bailed out on missions for your faux tears.”

“Ha ha, very funny.”

You cradled your boyfriend’s cheeks in your palms as you tugged him closer to press your lips against his. Lance slowly tilted his head, nose brushing yours, as he felt his cheeks hollow to suck your lips carefully. Many of the kids who came back in to see what the hustle was about (and eager to see new guests) made grossed out sounds as you kissed Lance tenderly.

When you pulled back, it was only a few centimeters between your faces and soft smiles on your faces as your foreheads stuck together, eyes locked to see happiness and home within them. He had his hands running up and down your arms, rubbing them in comfort.

“Happy birthday, my love.” You whispered when your heart exploded with joy.

“Why, thank you, mi amor.” Lance winked as he rolled the last syllable of ‘amor’ with his tongue. You giggled into his neck, snatching the boy into a firm embrace, stroking his soft hair and letting the locks slip through your fingers.

Lance glanced towards the ceiling, his deep blue eyes glistening with tears again. What a birthday indeed.

[iireethgifs-blog]

Bad Boys sentence starters

“ Hey, man where-where-where's your cup holder?”

“ You damn right it's limited. No cup holder, no back seat. Just a shiny dick with two chairs in it. I guess we the balls just draggin' the fuck along.”

“ Hey, freeze bitch! ”

“YOU freeze, bitch!"

"Oh shit, I'm fucked."

"Now back up, put the gun down, and get me a pack of Tropical Fruit Bubblicious."

"We're your new neighbors."

"Until then, until then, you are Mike Lowrey, you be him, that's what you are, you're him."

"You're him, I don't wanna hear it, you're him. And you, you're you, you be you, but not in front of her. You're him, you're you."

"You know you drive almost slow enough to drive Miss Daisy."

"My shit always works sometimes!"

"He steals our shit, kidnaps Julie, shoots at my wife. Oh, we beatin' him down. We beatin' him DOWN!"

"Marcus, I just have one question for ya bro. How the hell you gonna leave my ass at a gun fight to go get the car!"

"You see what happens when you go off without me? You get into shit."

"Oh please, like shit don't happen when you're there."

"Look, now I ain't no Wesley Snipes! I just hang out with stupid ass friends, that drive stupid ass cars, that attract a lot of mother fuckin' attention!"

"You know what, I need to jump over this car and smack you in your peasy ass head that's what I need to do."

"Well, you know what you're arguin' over a mother fuckin' french fry."

"You want some bad enough, come get some!"

"You like that shit? Wesley Snipes, Passenger 57! Now gimme a mother fuckin' handy wipe!"

"Now let's hear one of those jokes, bitch."

"Freeze mother bitches."

"I like it when a woman takes pride in her appearance. Don't you?"

"Yeah, I hate it when a bitch lets herself slide."

“ You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can, and will be used against you in a court of law.”

“ You better do something quick, 'cause we're running out of road.”

“ Please, man. Married life is easy. You only got one woman to satisfy.”

“ Damn, why am I tripping on shit I know is there?”

“ Oh, you-you-you-you da man. Oh you're the fuckin' man tonight! You go and pick an ice-cream truck that's a damn bomb!”

“ If you don't sit your lanky ass down right now, bottom-line, I will knock you the fuck out.”

“ Hey, hey, what's this having-a-picnic shit in my car?”

“ Look man, I ain't getting my sex at home, OK? Don't deny me this.”

“ What are you talking about, man? You sleep with a beautiful woman everyday.”

“ I'm married. That's what married means. It means you sleep together, but you can't get none.”

“ Now that's how you supposed to drive! From now on that's how you drive!”

“ Wassup, motherfucker?”

“ I was, like, gettin' 'em all in before you showed up.”

“ No, no. Put that back in, c'mon put that back in.”

“ Ho, what did I say? Did you hear what I said? I heard what I said 'cause I was standing there when I said it.”

“ You know I'm a better cop when I get some in the morning, I feel lighter on my feet.”

“ This is bad. No, let me call it what is. This is fucked up.”

“ I don't know why you going home to your wife. You got shot in the leg, your dick probably don't even work.”

“ They should just bone and get that shit over with.”

“ Oh, man, that was cold.”

“ Yeah, so was your mama's bed.”

“ Yeah I'll scratch anything you want to you blue-eyed bitch.”

“ What you got an itch? I'd love to scratch it.”

“ Scratch this, okay?”

“ You made me think you were gonna shoot me for a minute.”

“ Yeah we tried to, but you know what? We came up with a problem... your mama snorted it up!”

“ Where were y'all last night?”

“ Hey Jojo, I got 16 bullets in this gun and I swear I'll fill up your brain with some hot shit if you don't give me any answers.”

“ What? You're pulling a gun on me? I should turn you guys into Hard Copy.”

“You want some of this? I'll bust your ass too.”

“ Now that's how you s'pose to drive. From now on, that's how you drive!”

“ What the hell are you doin'?”

“ Oh, I see. You aren't gettin any at home, so you got a lot of extra energy. Go ahead, burn it off.”

“ Jesus. Could you use a smaller gun? You got blood on me again.”

“ King Dingaling.”

“ You know what man? I'm so sick of this bullshit. What, I'm supposed to APOLOGIZE for my family leaving me money? All I EVER wanted to be was a cop. I go out there and take it to the max everyday. I'm the first guy through the door and I'm always the last one to leave the crime scene. So you know what? Fuck you, and fuck them, and fuck EVERYBODY that's got a problem with Mike Lowrey.”

“ I love you, man.”

“ Fuck you Marcus.”

“ I do. You're cool. You're my boy.”

“ Shut up, shut up Marcus. Slow-ass driver. Drivin' like a bitch. Slow-ass.”

“ Why I gotta be all that? I'll take you and me off this fuckin' cliff if you keep fuckin' with me. Then it'll be what, two bitches in the sea. Huh, is that it? Is that what you want?”

“ My wife knows I ain't no bitch. I'm a bad boy.”

“ I blow you!”

“ Blow me? What the fuck? Naw, naw.”

“ Oh, yeah? Well, I'm a stand-up comedian. And I SUCK! That's why I need your car.”

“ Let me tell you how bad a day you're having: right now you're jacking a couple of cops.”

“ Mike. Go downstairs and have a Coke and smile.”

“ And you don't even have your wedding ring on.”

“ Damn. Um. Naw Naw I went undercover. And it uh required the taking off of the ring that's all for a second. But I got the ring, look I just put my hand in my pocket cos that's where it was and its right back on baby.”

“ Damn. Can I get a pillow?”

“ He doesn't talk that way. Try to talk like him, like him! Try to talk sexy. Sexy, you don't talk sexy enough!”

“ Can I help you?”

“ Uh-huh, and that'd be the tall one or the short one?”

“ Oh oh. Don't kiss me, Mike. I don't know where your lips were last night. Move.”

“ Whooo. Did I. Let me tell you, this girl was...”

“ Hey hey. Don't you go telling my boys none of your sleazy sex stories.”

“ Well, I don't want him hearing either. Gives him ideas.”

“ Aw, no. I only tell your husband my sleazy sex stories.”

“ Why are you doing this to me, man? I'm with my babies. Okay? Thank you.”

“ I mean, do you just attract violence?”

“ I'm not understanding, I - I really don't.”

“ Shut up!”

“ Yeah, can I speak to Romeo?”

“ No, there ain't no Romeo here, asshole.”

“ What the fuck are you laughing at?”

“ Hi Julie, what have you been up to the last couple of days?" Oh nothing, just hangin' out, handcuffed to steering wheels.”

“ Watch your fucking mouth.”

“ Badges? Do you want badges motherbitch? I give you badges! 99 cents each.”

“ What are our chances?”

“ Everybody wants to be like Mike.”

“ Do you see the fuckin' emotion I'm goin' through right now? That means this shit is serious. That means me and this motherfucker's not vibin' right now. That's what that shit means.”

“ If you don't sit your lanky ass down right now, bottom-line, I will knock you the fuck out!”

“ We're your new neighbors.”

“ You forgot your boarding pass.”