#and while it was well written i can see why it wasn’t as popular as her other play

[tenthdoctxr]

!!

[pshcomforts]

➳ cardigan | psh.

popularhighschool!sunghoon x loserfem!reader

“you drew stars around my scars, but now i’m bleeding”

synopsis: sunghoon caught you at a bad time.., or better to say, at a late time when he rushed and yet found you injured from a few bullies.

warnings/content: written in third pov. reader’s a little grumpy and closed off. angsty. mentions of blood. reader gets beaten up.. this is cliche, i won’t lie..! cursing. not proofread.

comments, likes, and reposts are appreciated :)

word count: 3.1k

a/n: fictional characters — dae (jungwon’s boyfriend), min-su (heeseung’s girlfriend), and ji-woo (jake’s girlfriend). honestly inspired by that one scene in revenge of others!

༘˚⋆𐙚｡masterlist⋆.✧˚

current song playing: cardigan by taylor swift

↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺

2:12 ────────────|─────── -1:47

y/n quickly thanked the cashier before speeding out of the convenience store. it was dark, scary, and the girl was alone so of course she was trying to hurry home.

she was halfway through her walk, texting her friends when a figure had stopped in front of her.

she glanced up and found a classmate with a wide grin plastered across her face.

“hey y/n,” she sweetly called in a fake tone. “i’m surprised to see you here.”

y/n’s face morphed into disgust as she pushed her aside. “what do you want?” she asked, allowing the girl to murmur — “leaving so soon?”

“don’t you want to stay and talk?” a different voice bellowed from her right. another classmate who was friends with the other appeared from the dark shadows.

a mischievous grin was shown on her face as a few more began to pop up.

y/n sighed, biting her lips as she remained composed from what was about to happen.

“i want to get home, so get out of my way.”

she attempted to leave the scene, but was pulled back by a hair grab from one of the girls.

“you think you can just flirt with sunghoon and get away with it??” y/n heard the first girl who stopped her scowl.

it finally clicked for her as to why these girls began to bother her.

it was just earlier today when she had gone to the canteen to find her friends, and soon spotted them with their partners.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ — flashback

“hey guys!” she beamed at her group of friends.

“hey y/n!” they yelled back in the same, excited tone.

y/n quickly sat down in the open seat as she greeted her friends’ significant others as well — jake, heeseung, and jungwon.

“hey baby, sunghoon’s right there, we’re gonna go okay?” min-su’s boyfriend announced, causing the members to get up and leave to where sunghoon was, which was at a group of table where the popular students normally were.

y/n felt her heart tighten at the sudden name. memories flooding back from the boy she put all her trust in and broke it. they used to be friends, but once his popularity grew, so did their distance.

so as she kept her gaze down, ji-woo huffed out a quiet sigh while looking at dae and min-su.

there was nothing her friends could do to mend her and sunghoon’s relationship together. though the two had their friends dating each other, there was a clear line that they never crossed in terms of being okay again.

✩ ‘but i knew you’ ✩

when she didn’t bother to look anywhere but her feet, she didn’t realize that sunghoon unknowingly laid his eyes on her.

any time he tried to look elsewhere, they’d still land on her without a thought. his heart burned that he wasn’t near her like he used to be.

even when one of the girls at his table, the one who approached y/n, tried to get his attention, he’d just let it run by his ears — not caring if it looked rude.

he just wanted the girl he’s always loved in his life again, even if it meant losing his popularity.

“y/n..?” dae called out to her, allowing the girl to turn towards him. “want to head to a class instead?”

her heart softened once she realized how considerate her friends were in recognizing the awkward distance between her and sunghoon.

“i’d like that…,” she murmured back.

the four rose from their seats but y/n held herself back, announcing that she’d meet them near the door after tossing her lunch away.

as she did so, she was forced to walk by the group of kids who deemed themselves as popular — in which including sunghoon, and a few other enhypen members.

she sighed, pushing herself to get used to the uncomfortable energy as she sped to the trash bins.

when she finished her task, she walked toward her group of friends, rushing through a few crowds when a familiar student had accidentally bumped into her.

the bump was harsh enough that she almost stumbled down onto the ground, but she quickly stopped herself to avoid the possible embarrassment.

“sorry!” y/n yelled. “are you okay??”

she glanced up and found the boy she’s been avoiding in front of her.

sunghoon took a noticeably large gulp as he towered over her, hands still firmly holding onto her forearm so she wouldn’t fall.

her heart instantly dropped with how close she was to him, hating that he was in front of her again. she blinked her eyes before pulling her arm back to lose his grip.

“sorry..,” she mumbled, turning away before she could get a reaction out of him.

y/n mentally cursed in her head as she ran off to her friends who watched the whole thing happen from afar, not wanting to hear from the boy who abandoned her.

but from what she didn’t know was that sunghoon kept his attention on her even after she left the scene, body frozen and gaze locked from where she stood.

he couldn’t comprehend the fact that she spoke to him again. his heart was fluttering from her very minimal yet repeated words in his mind.

“sunghoon?” the girl who approached y/n asked. “what’s wrong?”

she attempted to link her hands with his but he slipped out of it.

“we’re not together, don’t do that.” he coldly replied, returning back to his seat next to jungwon.

she fumed out a few curse words under her breath as her cheeks heated out of embarrassment.

she was determined to make sure y/n knew her place after having an encounter with her crush.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

y/n yanked herself out of the harsh grip on her hair, shoving the hand away as she clicked her tongue in annoyance.

“it was just a bump. you can have sunghoon all you want, i don’t want him.”

lies, but she wasn’t about to admit that in front of those group of girls.

“please.., you bumped into him on purpose didn’t you?” one of them uttered, scoffing in disbelief, causing y/n to scoff as well.

“now why would i do that? i don’t want to get close with him.” she rolled her eyes. “does he not give you enough attention for you to claim this or something?”

the proclaimed leader guffawed out a laugh, truthfully a little choked out at the remark y/n made but was still unfazed.

“your feisty attitude won’t win him over.”

“your bratty attitude won’t win him over either,” y/n snapped back. “i don’t even want him. he doesn’t pique my interest.”

lies again.

as she tried to walk out of the threatening circle, one of the girls pulled her back into it.

“you don’t think you can just walk away that easily, do you?” the leaders lips evilly curled afterward.

y/n rolled her eyes, exasperating a sigh since she couldn’t believe she was getting dragged into this situation for no reason.

“with your friends gone, guess you have no one to protect you, hm?”

a hand finally flew towards y/n, indicating that the long awaited fight had begun.

the girl fought back in the best she could, throwing hands and slamming heavy backpacks against each body to protect herself.

she did well for a second, victory almost in her hands but the amount of people against her was outweighed and she unfortunately lost.

in seconds, the girls who had bruised marks from y/n regained themselves and threw her to the ground.

they each took a beating, causing y/n to feel the constant hits that were purposefully harsh.

once the leader deemed it was enough for a lesson, she kneeled down to the girl’s eye level, forcing a hand on her chin.

“talk to sunghoon again and it’ll be worse.”

the girls hurriedly ran off, a few still aching from what y/n was able to do as she was left alone.

she heavily sighed, air almost being kicked out of her lungs when she found it hard to breathe. she was finally able to stand after a few gasps, clothes rustled and hair messy from the beatings.

“fuck..,” her weak voice mumbled, lips trembling as she clenched onto her chest. “that fucking hurts.”

y/n slowly dusted herself off, body almost falling limp when her phone began to ring. she checked it, finding her friends ringing her in for a call but she declined it.

with her messy state, she didn’t want to worry them so she refused to pick up. the girl turned toward the direction of her original path, groaning at the pain before staying still at the person in front of her.

sunghoon was not too far from her, heavy pants being the only thing heard from him as he couldn’t believe his eyes. his heart dropped and his blood ran cold once he registered it was y/n.

✩ ‘cause i knew you’ ✩

from another perspective, hoon heard the girls beating someone up, but he didn’t know it was her.

he still ran, hoping to stop whatever was happening but was too late once he found that it was just one person in the scene.

they stayed at a good distance, nobody uttering a word as they found themselves glued to the ground, only staring in each others eyes.

✩ ‘stepping on the last train’ ✩

hoon’s face was filled with guilt, while y/n couldn’t help but resent him. it wasn’t his fault, but she wasn’t willing to face him either.

the main thing audible were their heavy breaths overlapping one another. they were both too scared to speak, afraid to break the unbearable silence that consumed them.

✩ ‘marked me like a bloodstain’ ✩

suddenly, his feet brought him closer to y/n, mouth slightly gaped open as his eyes were watery from how beaten she looked.

the sounds of gravel beneath his shoes were heard and she could only softly flinch. her body ached for attention with the new bruises that were forming on her skin, but she couldn’t stop filling her mind with sunghoon in front of her.

then a particularly painful sensation took over in her abdomen, forcing her to clench onto that area with her hands.

she softly groaned out a sigh, dry lips crackling with her hiss as little blood fell from it. her body was in agony and she couldn’t ignore it anymore.

her hands instinctively went to the railing near her, tightly gripping onto it for comfort. she squeezed her eyes shut though still determined to leave sunghoon.

however, her body failed her when the pain had filled almost every inch of her body.

a soft scream had escaped from her as she almost lost herself, expecting a harsh take to the ground but soon finding it a little easier to stand.

she felt a hand holding her forearm in place, keeping the grip tight so she wouldn’t fall.

it instantly registered to her who it was.

she grumbled an annoyed look toward sunghoon, not fully facing him as she harshly retracted her arm back.

“i don’t need you, sunghoon.” y/n spat out, attempting to walk away but failing when the pain increased.

she softly winced, clenching onto the railing more than she did before as she walked.

the boy trailed behind, gaze still worryingly scanning her.

“you’re hurt, y/n.”

“first time you noticed?” she shot back, voice cold with how unwilling she was to talk to him.

sunghoon’s face contorted into a saddened expression as she only sighed.

“go home.”

y/n tried to leave, but her body failed her once again. she almost fell to the ground, feeling like she lost complete control when he still kept his hold firm on her.

“i don’t want your help,” she scowled.

the girl tried to push him away, but accidentally fell into his arms instead. she felt his hands instantly snake to her waist, pulling her closer as she exhaled heavy breaths.

“i know you don’t want to see me, but i’m helping you either way. you’re too beaten to be by yourself.”

she was always a stubborn one, and he remembered that. her mouth opened to defend herself but found her voice to be weakened and drawn out, allowing him to take her back to his place without a fight.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

y/n was now sitting in sunghoon’s living room, house empty with his family gone for the night.

“ah, here we are.” he murmured, grabbing a few bandaids and cotton balls before sitting down next to her.

the girl kept her gaze down when she felt one side of the couch dip, unwilling to meet eyes with her old friend.

“i’m gonna clean your face,” he gently warned, careful with how he gave his tone.

his fingers hooked under her chin, leaning closer so he could finally wipe away the dried, crusted blood that was once fresh. she softly hissed, eyes shutting as sunghoon continued to dab the bloody areas.

he couldn’t believe she was in front of him again. granted, it was to clean her wounds but even through her bloody bruises, she was still the most beautiful girl in his eyes.

he just hated that he was the reason for this. his heart shattered whenever he heard her bite back her pain. he knew she was keeping a wall up, and he knew why.

“y/n..,” he softly called. “can you look at me?”

he peered his gaze into her face, swallowing down a harsh lump as he awaited for an answer.

“no.” the girl harshly replied. “i don’t want to.”

hoon couldn’t help but scrunch his face in pain when he felt his heart sting from those very words, but he strived to continue.

his hand still held her in place, fingers slightly trembling as every second that passed was a striking reminder of how he couldn’t protect her.

“i’m sorry. this shouldn’t have happened to you. those girls are mean and vile, you didn’t even do anything.”

he truthfully hated that he found those girls to be his friends, hated that they were the ones responsible to have caused y/n to be in this state.

✩ ‘a friend to all is a friend to none’ ✩

“don’t.”

he tried to sooth her, and maybe even mend what was broken, but she couldn’t bear with it.

“don’t what?”

“don’t do this. i don’t want to hear you apologize about your friends, or about how sorry you are.” she mumbled, finally glancing up at him.

✩ ‘chase two girls, lose the one’ ✩

her heart almost melted when she was met with him, almost.

she was able to find his features that she loved most, along with how his hair flopped perfectly to the side, complimenting his pretty stare she could get lost into.

✩ ‘when you are young, they assume you know nothing’ ✩

but sunghoons heart instantly dropped and his gaze softened completely once she allowed herself to lock eye contact. his words were almost slurred with how much he was in a daze as he murmured — “but i am, y/n.”

it was almost incoherent in the way he only focused on admiring the girl in front of him.

✩ ‘but i knew you’ ✩

y/n pressed her lips into a firm line when she felt her eyes twinkle with tears. they danced around her eye bags as she felt her walls breaking down.

“if you are then why didn’t you protect me?” her lips trembled, voice trailing off once her tears threatened to fall. “you said you always would, and yet you weren’t there.”

sunghoon was at a loss for words. he opened his mouth to say something but he couldn’t — because she was right, he failed her.

“you weren’t there when they threw their backpacks on me and caused bruises, you weren’t there when they each took their hits, you weren’t there when they watched blood run down my lips..,” she stopped herself, biting back the tears. “so why would you be here for me now?”

the boy felt his world stop, guilt written all over his face as everything almost deafened in his ears. her words repeatedly lingered in his head, and he couldn’t get it out.

his fingers dropped the blood-filled cotton pads, thumbs quick to stroke her cheeks for comfort but she pushed them away.

forcing a tough exterior back up, y/n weakly stood with her body still in pain. she was quick to face the door — to leave all of this behind — but sunghoon’s hand had held onto her wrist.

his breaths began getting heavy again and he was almost close to breaking down.

“i still need to clean you up..,” he weakly mumbled, eyes scanning for her demeanor.

✩ ‘tried to change the ending’ ✩

he let his fingers cling onto her wrist just a little tighter in hopes of her obliging. he couldn’t let her leave in such a state.

y/n’s back faced his front as she was faced towards the door, chewing her lips close enough to draw another portion of blood out. she wanted to stay with him, just for the night at least, but no good ever came to interacting with sunghoon.

“i don’t need your help.” she reiterated. “i’ve done it without you before, i can do it without you again.”

✩ ‘peter losing wendy’ ✩

“y/n..,”

his call was almost like a light towards home, but it instantly flickered out with the reminder that he abandoned her.

✩ ‘but i knew you’d linger like a tattoo kiss’ ✩

sunghoon gave a soft tug at her wrist, trying to get her attention back onto him as he swallowed down another guilt-eating lump in his throat.

“you walked out on me, sunghoon.”

she stopped herself when she felt her heart tighten in the dreaded pain of him. though every part of her body ached, her heart tore the most.

“now i’m gonna do the same.”

✩ ‘i knew you’d haunt all of my what ifs’ ✩

hoon let out unsteady breaths, indicating that tears had finally streamed down his cheeks. he bit his lips and sniffled, feeling like he was saying goodbye when he was quick to loosen his hold on her.

his fingers detangled from her but they didn’t drop completely, they still lingered around her wrist, ghosting over what he lost.

✩ ‘and i knew you’d come back to me’ ✩

when y/n felt his hold leave hers, she retracted her arm back and winced in pain.

no words were uttered as she walked towards the door, not bothering to glance back at sunghoon, who couldn’t help but feel guilty.

✩ ‘you’d come back to me’ ✩

the girl soon walked out on him as stated, and much like he did before, she was now the one to leave him.

✩ ‘and you’d come back’ ✩

★・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・★

[mochidoie]

the summer of us ☼

kim doyoung x reader wc - 8.6k genre - slow burn, fluff, slightly angsty, childhood friends to lovers, mutual pining warnings - kiss scene a/n - italicized sections are written as flashbacks, while regular texts correspond with the present

You and Doyoung reunite at your high school reunion. Him, just as he has always been. You, bolder but just as beautiful. Upon meeting again, the memories of the one summer you two shared during your college years resurface, along with the same romantic feelings that never had a proper ending. Will that summer love find its way back to your present?

The only people who show up to high school reunions are those who used to be popular and lonely individuals. It’s the people who reminisce about their glory days in the tight hallways and how everyone knew their name. It’s for the people who currently have no one back in their hometown and are looking to rekindle old flames or friendships. Doyoung was neither one of these, and yet, here he is standing in the middle of his old high school gymnasium amongst his past peers and barely making out familiar faces in this mood lighting.

There were predictable appearances: Johnny was King of the Field, wore his letterman jacket nearly every day of senior year until the leather wore out and crusted off. Mina was captain of the cheerleading squad, admired by many but envied by most. Jaehyun was the campus sweetheart, confession letters and gifts would flood out of his locker on Valentine’s day. 

They are all holding onto that piece of glory, making remarks on how they wish they could go back in time to experience it all over again. Nothing in their current lives gives them that same thrill. It’s sad and for a brief moment, Doyoung genuinely pitied them. 

Some unexpected faces took him by surprise: Taeyong was his lab partner for most of his projects, his mind was always on a creative tangent at such a young age. Yuta was the underrated soccer star, he was humble in his skill, but extremely competitive in everything he did. Haechan was that underclassman that never hung out with his own grade, but he could crunch numbers faster than anyone in the school.

And you. You, who walked in with a dress that fit perfectly and painted lips that curved into a sweet smile, a smile that Doyoung found himself wanting a glimpse of throughout the night. You were quiet and so much more timid back then, always trying to blend into the background of things.

Nonetheless, Doyoung had shared the same sentiments except an unlikely friendship with Mark really gave him a leg up in high school with the popular crowd. But, Doyoung always saw you and formed a silent camaraderie between the two of you without your knowledge. 

Why would you come? He didn’t understand. If it wasn’t for Mark’s insanely theatrical pleas to attend, Doyoung would happily be on his couch watching his reality dating shows. It seemed out of character and some could say the same for him. However, Doyoung didn’t actually know you well enough to understand your reasoning. 

Mark nudges Doyoung, “hey… who is that?” Gesturing toward your figure by the makeshift bar, Doyoung tries to think how to formulate your identity to Mark. Did Mark even know of your existence prior? Doyoung thought. 

“I think it’s… y/n?” He doesn’t sound confident, in fact, there is a slight quiver when he says your name. Mark confusingly stares at Doyoung and he can read his mind before Mark even asks.

“Who?” 

Rolling his eyes, he patiently explains. “Junior year chemistry. I’m pretty sure you two sat next to each other in class.” Doyoung brings his glass to his lips. 

Mark tilts his head, an expression of great pondering on his face. Unconsciously, Doyoung’s eyes follow you at every step. He is still trying to process seeing how much you’ve changed. 

“How did you remember something like that?” Mark laughs, biting the cookie he has been rolling between his fingers. 

Doyoung shrugs nonchalantly, “I had to stare at your big head the whole period and all the posers who tried to be your best friend during class.” It isn’t a complete lie, Doyoung did pay attention to his good friend during class, but only because he had to sit a few rows behind him.

He isn’t going to reveal the silent alliance he created between the two of you. The two quiet ones, navigating the world of high school in their own way and trying to graduate without a trace of who they were during those years. That’s what Doyoung wanted for himself.

“We should catch up, what do you say?” Mark suggests to Doyoung. You’ve made your way toward the center of the draped tables, trapped between Johnny and Jaehyun. Those two idiots probably have no recollection of who you are. “You can reintroduce me.” 

Doyoung scoffs, “you don’t need an introduction. You’re literally valedictorian Mark Lee.” The two of them make their way toward you. With every step closer, Doyoung’s throat dries up. If there is any need for liquid courage, it would be now. 

The truth is that Doyoung has exchanged several small conversations with you during your adolescence, so you two are acquaintances at best. However, there was one summer between the first and second year of college where the two of you ran into each other quite frequently. It was enough to where the two of you were actually friends, one could even argue more than that.

Doyoung always hated the heat that came with summers at home. It was partially the reason why he decided to go away for college in a city without changing seasons. Beads of sweat run down the sides of his forehead as he seeks air conditioning in a crowded gelato shop.

He had just finished an intense soccer match with Yuta. It probably was one of the worst decisions to do during the highest temperatures of the year. The copious amount of sunscreen has most likely melted off of his body with the amount of sweat he was producing and all his water dried up from sitting in the sun. 

He digs in his pockets for spare change for the sweet treat, not thinking how much he would be suffering from the hot weather. 

“I can help the next person.” A voice calls and Doyoung is frantically rummaging through his pockets for more bills. When he looks up, a familiar face shares a slightly shocked expression over the fridge counters. You call his name and instantly, Doyoung feels flushed at your great memory. 

Your name tag hangs crookedly on your apron and Doyoung recognizes it immediately. “Hey! It’s been awhile.”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t have expected to bump into you.” Your giddiness warms Doyoung’s chest. He had forgotten how inviting you were the moment you would speak. Your features were slightly the same, but definitely a bit older. You weren’t wearing your glasses and your hair was neatly pulled into a ponytail. 

“I just came back for the summer.” Doyoung pulls out some loose change, damp from his sweaty hands. “When did you work here?”

“I started the summer after we graduated. I come back during the breaks to help out.” Before Doyoung could respond, a voice cuts the feverish reunion and reminds him he is holding up the line for gelato. 

You chuckle timidly to yourself, “anyways, what can I get you?” 

Doyoung, now pressured by the line of impatient customers, chooses his favorite mango sorbet before he could glance at any other options. When you ring him up, he counts his change in his palm and groans. 

“Ah, I’m short two dollars. It’s okay, I won’t get it. I’m sorry to waste your time.” Doyoung pouts, ready to hide under a rock for being a complete embarrassment the first time you are seeing each other again.

You grasp his wrist quickly, “Wait, it’s on me.” Placing the cone in his hand, you fiddle with something on the register and smile sweetly at him. 

Doyoung feels the world stop and can’t find the words to express his gratitude. “Thanks.” He whispers, deer eyes wide and mouth open. 

“No problem. It was good seeing you again, Doyoung.” You’re already trying to move on to help the next available customer, while Doyoung mindlessly blinks at the cone in his hand. It was really nice seeing you and he wonders to himself if there could be another chance. 

It’s a relief when Mark saves you from the conversation with Johnny and Jaehyun. He does so happily and cluelessly at the tactics of their flirting and lack of your identity. It actually almost comes to a shock to you that Mark remembered you, not that the two of you shared any conversation between one another during class. It isn’t until your eyes fall upon the other individual behind him. 

All tall and lean, Doyoung stands before you after all this time. The memories of that one summer together flash by in a millisecond and all the feelings come rushing back like adrenaline pumping through your veins.

Then, a mixture of disappointment and sadness fill your heart, gazing upon Doyoung’s stare, it’s apologetic. With Mark’s chirpiness in the way, you try your best to pretend that you and Doyoung had no prior affairs. 

“Wow, can you believe how long it’s been? My mom still talks about your valedictorian speech, Mark.” Doyoung can see right through you. The fakeness is full in your tone, like you’re trying so hard to convince everyone that you’re fine and after all this time, alright with seeing Doyoung. 

“Yeah, that speech. I swear I blacked out because I can’t even remember it.” Mark laughs, rubbing the back of his neck in a shy manner. “But how have you been, y/n?” 

“I’ve been good. Busy with work and enjoying life at the same time.” Keeping your answer vague, you direct your attention to Doyoung. “How have you been?” 

He is taken aback by the sudden shift, despite very clearly being part of this three way conversation without any contribution other than his presence. Clearing his throat, he begins with, “good. I’ve been busy with work too.”

Mark continues, poking at Doyoung’s arm to slightly tease him. “This guy became a workaholic after we graduated college. He is the first person I knew that got a job right away and has been slaving away since.” 

Doyoung feels embarrassed as his friend describes the lamest life that he has been living. He almost speaks up to defend himself or mention how all those years of hard work has earned him a golden plaque for his loyalty with the company. 

“That’s really impressive, Doyoung.” Your breathy compliment causes his heart to skip a beat. He looks at you, noting the sadness in your eyes. “I’ve been jumping around jobs for awhile. It’s been hard figuring out what I want to do with my career, sometimes I think back on how easy life was when I was scooping gelato.”

Gelato takes Doyoung back to that summer again. All the warm nights he waited for you to close up the shop, how your clothes would smell like sweet waffle batter, and you’d always come out with a scoop of mango sorbet just for him. All the nights he wished he was brave enough to kiss you. 

“Doyoung, you don’t have to wait for me!” Your smile doesn’t leave your face upon seeing him outside the shop, hands in his pockets and head up high watching the stars. At this point, it’s routine that the boy would show up five minutes before closing time and patiently wander outside until you were ready to leave.

You thought it was a coincidence to bump into him after one of your shifts, but he kept showing up. After a few times, you began to realize that he was intentionally waiting for you. Never questioning why, Doyoung walked you home every night as you two reminisced about the moments in high school or new memories you both had made in college.

Slowly, you two got to know each other very well. Doyoung told you about his dreams and you told him about your family. He knew your closest friends and your favorite memories about them. You knew facts about his brother and their upbringing, family traditions during holidays and vacations spent at the ski lodge despite not knowing how to ski. 

Occasionally, the two of you would stop by boardwalk and walk down to the beach. Doyoung would pat off the sand to the bench for you to sit beside him. You’d keep a respectable distance, with your hands in your lap and hair blowing in the warm wind. Doyoung’s eyes would sparkle along with the street lamps and you’d both be secretly enchanted by one another. 

These were the summer nights that you wished upon the moon and stars that Doyoung would kiss you. 

“You worked at the gelato shop by the boardwalk?” Mark asked, excited and completely oblivious to the can of worms he is about to open leading with that question. 

Chuckling, you glance sly at Doyoung. “Yes, it was my summer job. My sister knew the manager that worked there, so I’d help out during the summer when I came home.”

Mark lightly slaps Doyoung on the chest and he coughs at the sudden impact, jolting and nearly spilling the drink in his hand. “Doyoung used to rave about the mango sorbet at that place, didn’t you?”

Doyoung nodded. It comes as a confirmation to you that Mark doesn’t know anything that happened between you and Doyoung that summer. You’re all laughing awkwardly, Doyoung a bit more nervously than you and Mark.

“Yeah and he’d always say how it was his favorite of all time, that nothing could compare–”

“--Okay, Mark. I think we can drop the mango sorbet debate.” Doyoung firmly pats Mark on the shoulder to get him to please shut the fuck up. He couldn’t take any more of his friend’s clueless babbling, especially not to you about all the subliminal messages.

“It’s good. They make it in house, peeled over a hundred mangoes in the back every morning.” Speaking very matter of factly, your face is full of angst. 

Mark and Doyoung blink at you in disbelief. He feels bad about all the nights you’d get him a scoop, not knowing you practically worked away your life for it. “Wait, seriously?”

“No.” You laugh and your face lightens up, “that would be actual hell if I did. We had frozen mangoes with a premade syrup.” Doyoung forgot about your humor and how much he enjoyed it. He found himself laughing along, thinking about how melodic your sounds of happiness are.  

In the midst of your chuckles, someone calls for Mark from across the auditorium. He excuses himself and hurries joyfully over to another old classmate. The air instantly becomes suffocating between you and Doyoung. Without a third party there to ignore the elephant in the room, the two of you avert eye contact and stand stiffly. 

“So..” Doyoung clears his throat, unsure how to work around the awkwardness. “Why did you decide to come? I never thought I’d see you at something as lame as this.” 

“Are you implying I’m too cool to show up here?” He got you to relax a bit, earning a small chuckle at how he phrased his question. Your shoulders drop the tension that caused it to stick by your chin. 

“Of course.” You weren’t necessarily popular back in high school, so you had no reason to come back and gloat about the past. He isn’t sure about your current social life, but surely it isn’t lonely enough to want to come back and rekindle old ones, especially with these amateurs. 

“Well, I appreciate that thought. I had a feeling you’d be here.” Your eyes wander the floor, calculating your next words very carefully. While you had no idea how Doyoung feels about you right now, you wanted to test the waters. If it comes to be bad, then you can avoid him for the rest of your life. If it turns out well, who knows? There wouldn’t be another missed chance.

“Oh god, I’m so uncool that you’d expect me to show up?” Doyoung pretends to be offended, or maybe he actually is. You aren’t sure, but he holds his hand to his chest as if he is. “I’ll have to rebrand myself going forward.”

“No, no. It’s not you. I saw Mark tag you in the comments of the announcement post.” Peering up, Doyoung lets out an exasperated sigh at the fact that Mark was the culprit. He should’ve known that Mark basically announced their attendance via social media. “So, I figured you might show up.” 

“It is a hundred percent Mark. He dressed me himself and dragged me out the door to come to this.” He rolls his eyes and finishes his drink in one big gulp. 

Doyoung scans the room one last time at all the people that came to the reunion. To his surprise, there was a decent amount of attendees and everyone looked like themselves more or less. Everyone remained recognizable to a degree, but no one made an entrance like you did. 

Then, the conversation clicks in his head. Like someone turned the lights on in his head, he understands the intent behind your responses. You didn’t come to see him, perhaps? 

It is as if you could see the gears in his mind turn in real time. You smile and close the distance between the two of you. “I came to this lame reunion because I wanted to see you again.” 

And like that, Doyoung is brought back to the world stopping feeling he felt several years ago in that gelato shop, your hand on his wrist and a cone of mango sorbet in his hand. His eyes resembled a baby deer in headlights and his mouth agape. His heart is loud in his ears and pressure in his throat. 

He isn’t sure how he should proceed. Doyoung fumbled his chances with you long ago, at least that’s what he had thought. Barely processing your confession, he stammers over his words. 

“Want to head out?” 

A wide grin spreads across your lips, lifting your cheeks high on your face. “What about Mark?”

“He’ll manage.” Doyoung doesn’t even look for his good friend in the crowd, knowing that Mark was going to leave him for a random old acquaintance sooner or later into the night. This, however, was an opportunity Doyoung didn’t know he’d ever come across again. “I’ve waited long enough to have a chance like this again.” 

Your eyes light up at his statement, like a spark to a new flame erupting inside of you. Doyoung extends his hand for you to take and softly, you accept his grip and let him guide you outside of that dreary gymnasium. 

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“Did you know that Bethany had the biggest crush on you?” Kicking your feet in the air, you’re giggling at the silly high school secrets you had always kept to yourself. Doyoung shoots up from the blanket on the sand and turns to face you, utterly horrified by the new piece of old information. 

You had an early shift today and managed to catch the sunset with Doyoung. He had brought his picnic blanket for you two to enjoy the views right on the beach. The pink and orange hues paint the sky above you, faint sounds of seagulls in the distance and of waves crashing against the shore set the mood. 

You two could talk for hours, without a care in the universe and any concept of time. Doyoung is mesmerized by your perspective and way with words. You’re astonished by the wisdom and empathy Doyoung holds. From one quiet kid to another, you two sure felt comfort in each other. 

“Blonde Beth?!” Doyoung exclaims.

You sit up with him, matching the higher level of energy. “Yes. She was so into you!”

He blinks in disbelief, never thinking someone like Bethany would have a crush on him in high school. Not that he is any better now, but he isn’t sure how well he was perceived in his adolescents. “How did you know?”

“You’re always such a skeptic.” Your eyes watch the horizon. The round, golden sun barely hits the glimmering water. “I sat at the same table as her and her friends in math class. She talked about you quite often.”

Doyoung follows your gaze toward the sunset. He contemplates long and hard. “What a strange crush.”

Scoffing, you briefly glance over at him. There, Doyoung sits with his knees hugged to his chest and a look of deep thought. The sun kisses his skin so lovingly, highlighting his sharp facial features. The light breeze blows his tousled bangs over his forehead. Doyoung looks like he was chiseled by the gods, just absolutely unreal. 

It strikes you like a chord. In the midst of this summer sunset, you were falling for Doyoung. 

When he peers over and meets your eyes, something drops in the pit of your stomach. A sudden shyness accompanies your chest and it compels you to look away, but you remain locked in and lost in his starry pupils. You find yourself breathless, mouth open to speak but words caught in your throat.

Nonetheless, you catch yourself before it becomes suspicious. “W-Why would it be strange?” Gulping, your mind is running circles at your realization. 

“Because I swear she hated me. I would always beat her by one point in our exams and there was always a rivalry between us.” Doyoung ponders, barely able to make out the memories of the girl from his classes. He never acknowledged her enough to remember. 

He hears your chuckle, snapping his attention at you. “You’re so dense. She probably had an enemies to lovers type thing going on for you.” 

“A what?” Doyoung snarls.

“Enemies to lovers… like you hated each other so much that you ended up liking them.” Your voice grows small at the ridiculous explanation. You may have revealed too much of your personal interests and hobbies to a boy who only reads textbooks and self help books.

It was Doyoung’s turn to laugh, but right in your face at the silly description. “Is that something you like reading in your literature?” 

“Perhaps. I’ve already said too much.” You fume, laying back down on the blanket. Your back hits the firm sand with a thud and you close your eyes out of embarrassment.

“I’ll confirm with you right now that I’m more of a friends to lovers type guy. I can never hate someone so much that I end up liking them. My disdain for them would linger.” The blanket shifts a bit underneath you. When you open your eyes, he is hovering over you with a kind grin.

A veiny arm is situated by either side of your head. You nearly gasp at the sudden perspective of Doyoung above you, keeping your own arms close to your chest. Your heart races quickly, anticipating his next move. 

“You’re not trying to fall asleep on the beach, right?” He laughs, his chain slipping out of his shirt and dangling from his neck. “If you’re tired, let me walk you back.”

A rush of flustered emotions cascade over your weak body. Dizziness quickly accompanies your head, like the sight of Doyoung looking dreamily above you is enough to cause you to faint. You pat your hot cheeks, giving small slaps to wake you from this embarrassing feeling you’re experiencing over a friend.

Doyoung laughs at your gesture, oblivious to why you’re just hitting yourself. “Enough, don’t want you to hurt your pretty face.” 

Like a straw to a camel’s back, that is the last thing you’ll let yourself get ruffled over. Sitting up, you’re inches from Doyoung’s lips. He blinks at your sudden proximity and immediately widens his eyes.

Gulping, your breath dances softly on his cherry red pout. “Let’s go.”

He follows your lead, grabbing his blanket in a swift motion and dusting off the sand from the fabric. Nonetheless, you don’t wait around or help him. Instead, you’re already up on the curb and recollecting everything that just happened, all the feelings that had surfaced. Confused, but excited to feel your heart bursting with the rays of the summer sun.

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“So, this is where you live. I remember requesting a tour for one of the units when it was in its developmental phase. I’m happy to see that it lives up to the pictures and that someone I know lives here.” You walk around Doyoung’s living room aimlessly, pinching at the cover of the couch, dusting your finger on the window shades, inspecting the ceiling fixtures. 

“You’re restless. Take a seat before you spot something that will cause me to hyperfixate.” He chuckles, patting the seat next to him on the sofa and placing a glass of water for you on a cute coaster. 

For a brief moment, you hesitate sitting so close to him. It wasn’t like all the ill feelings you held simply disappeared upon seeing him. There is still a part of you that didn’t forgive him, didn’t wish to be so friendly again.

Nonetheless, Doyoung had always been attentive and observant. He catches on immediately, scooting over to another chair that had a big stuffed penguin plush. Clearing his throat, he gestures to the spot once more now that he created a comfortable distance. “Why did you decide on another place?”

“It was closer to my ex at the time.” Your casualness catches Doyoung off guard, as he watches you finally take a seat. “He kept complaining about our commute to each other and I was in need of a new apartment fast, so it just settled that way.” 

Doyoung nods, like he understands despite not fully. He can’t imagine moving closer for anyone beside himself or going without a compromise from both parties. “Then, does your ex still live near you?”

“No, I told him to move far away so that I would never have to see him again. I’m all about setting boundaries.” The person Doyoung knew you to be would never have been that bold, would not have known how to set boundaries firmly. Like an ember catching a light, a spark appears in his eyes as he takes in your physicalities again. 

Now under proper lighting, Doyoung can really see all of you. The dress did more for you than he had noticed before, bringing out your confidence and kissing your skin tone. The satin on your lips is seductive, but saccharine paired with your smile. Voluminous curls frame your face perfectly and when he finally takes a long look at your features – he is astonished all over again at how beautiful you are. 

He clears his throat, “boundaries are important.” It’s all he can say while still enamored by your newfound confidence and looks.

“What about you? Have you been in any relationships since we last saw each other?” 

Doyoung tries to piece together his response delicately, mostly because he didn’t want to sound like a complete loner and corporate loser. Truthfully, after the summer together, Doyoung could not stop thinking about you. It was an endless cycle of wanting to reach out again, but he never found it in himself to do so. When you nearly fell off the face of the digital world, he tried to put his efforts into other people. 

Failing horribly, he couldn’t find anything remotely close to what you and he had shared in a few months. A connection so powerful and genuine, a fresh breath of air that filled his lungs every time he thoughtfully inhaled. A feeling that warmed not only his skin, but his heart that he no longer despised the hot weather. Doyoung found himself looking for you in everyone he met, only to be faced with utter disappointment when they were nowhere close.

With all his withered attempts at romance, he gave up. He settled on being alone for this portion of his life and didn’t desire that fleeting feeling of romance he had once felt. Because at the end of all his days, he’d come home to this empty apartment and pretend to be content with himself when he had lost the opportunity to be with you. 

So when he begins with his calculated reply, he mentally prepares himself for your reaction. “I haven’t. I’m married to my work.” His eyes flicker at your expression, trying to make out the sympathy in your pupils and dip in your frown.

“You haven’t changed at all.” When you examine Doyoung, he is just as you remembered him that summer. With his sharp features, quick wit, quiet demeanor and all of his dedication, Kim Doyoung remains exactly like how he had left you that temperate night.

He is all the man that you had fallen for and longed for in your present. It’s a bit sad all the times you would wallow in it — the crush that became undying on a man who only smiled brighten when you were around. A man who is intelligent, trivial, and hungry for success that he is willingly to dedicate his entire life to it. Yet, he is a man who is also kind, soft, and attentive to others around him that caring for others comes second nature to him. 

With the time that has passed since you two last spoke, you had wondered if he had changed to be more cynical, withholding his heart and laughter to those who tried to grow close to him or if he had opened up and shared his kindness to someone who is worthy of it. To your countless of painted possibilities, Doyoung had done neither and a part of you finds immense comfort in him all over again. 

Doyoung isn’t sure how to interpret your statement. Greatly puzzled, he tilts his head and asks, “is that a bad thing?” Swallowing the lump of spit gathered in his throat, he anxiously overthinks your implications.

Instantly, you note his change from relaxed to tense. His jaw is clenched as he crosses his legs, neatly folding his hands together and resting them on his lap. You’ve made him uneasy, but it only makes you chuckle at how unnerved he is. 

So when you answer him, he is vastly surprised and speechless. “No, I’ve always liked you the way you are.”

He ponders and lets the adrenaline take its course of action. Without another thought or hesitation, he matches your boldness. “You’ve changed.” 

The proclamation feels sudden, so much that it genuinely catches you off guard. There is a slight whiplash you experience with how quick Doyoung’s words hit you. Although there is no accusatory tone that lingers, there is some sense of self consciousness. 

“Is that bad?” You take his same words to use against him. Instead of feeling tense and perceived, you somehow feel defensive. All the years that you two haven’t encountered one another, you’ve worked hard to be the person you love now. 

You acknowledge how quiet and hidden you were in the past. The person that never wanted to be noticed, often wanting to hide behind their hair or clothes. You used to speak just barely above a whisper, scared that any louder would draw the unwanted attention of others around. Only spoke when spoken to, only looked up when tapped, that was just the way you were. 

High school was never a comfortable time for you, but wasn’t it like that for everyone? Seemingly awkward and unrevealing to who someone truly is. It had been a feeling that troubled you greatly, that you felt fearful to be too bold, too audacious. You couldn’t wait to graduate silently and move on from that version of yourself.

“No, no. It’s not bad at all.” Doyoung puts his hands up, waving them in a worrisome manner. He settles back into his seat, sitting back against the bouncy cushion and leaning his chin on his fist.

There is a brief stiffness in the air, like Doyoung had more to say. Watching his eyelashes flutter over at you, he eats you up under his long gaze. You shift oddly in your place, heart pounding in your throat and feeling slightly flushed under his spotlight. 

He speaks with a low voice, but it is gentle and firm. “I think I see you more clearly now.” His eyes trail down to your toes and back up to the curls that frame your face. An audible gasp escapes your lips, a lack of words fallen upon you.

With every second spent with Doyoung, it has slowly eroded away at the resentment and sadness you felt prior. You wish for nothing more than to be closer to him, to feel his fingertips dance across your hot skin. This is not a foreign feeling, but one that you knew too well. 

“Funny that you only see me now when I had been right in front of you for an entire summer.” Fumbling with your purse, you peer away from his sultry stare. The air in the room suffocates you, like a sticky humid day.

“You misinterpret my statement.” He is quick to answer. “I have always seen you. The person who tried so hard to fade in the background in high school, the person who was still trying to figure themselves in college, and now, the person you fully find yourself to be.” 

There is a heaviness that fills your chest, like guilt that you had held such a tremendous grudge after so long. Wallowing in your angst, you try to process his words thoughtfully. When you don’t say anything, Doyoung’s voice continues on and his heart fills his words.

“You know, I go back to that summer every year, just recalling and regretting.” Doyoung sighs, emptying his lungs into one breath. He finally feels ready to address the elephant in the room, the words he never said. With you as beautifully before him once again, Doyoung never dared to imagine this chance because he knew he didn’t deserve it. 

“What would you have done differently?” You seldomly ask. 

And when you glimpse up at him with glossy eyes, Doyoung’s confession pours from his lips effortlessly. “I’d tell you how you made me feel – seen and whole. Because I knew you saw me too and accepted me with all my flaws. It’s like you saw my soul and understood me for the person I was. Then, I’d kiss you, I’d kiss you like the world was ending.”

“Desperately and holding onto the last glimpse of hope?” Chuckling, your heart literally feels like it could burst any second looking at him. 

Doyoung stands up, taking small steps forward and closing the distance between you two. Making room for him to sit next to you, his knee radiates heat against your own. He smiles sweetly, “desperately, yes, but as if nothing else mattered than being there with you in that moment.”

Finally face to face, it feels impossible to resist each other’s aura. “I would like that.” Your eyes flicker from his lips to his pupils. His eyebrows raise slightly and like clockwork, the gears in his head are spinning at full force until everything clicks.

Without another thought or a second to lose, Doyoung pulls you toward him by your wrist and your lips land hastily on top of his. Staining him with the color of your lipstick, you’re gliding effortlessly. Immediately, all the romantic feelings from that summer flood both of your chests’.

Doyoung kicks the sand that loosely piles the boardwalk. His hands shoved into his shorts as his attention turned to the sound of your voice. This night between the both of you feels weirdly melancholy. It was a third of the way into summer and you were the only person Doyoung wanted to be around. 

Beyond the nostalgia, the family traditions, the dreams, there was one part of each other that you two never shared. All until he hears the drip of sadness in your voice, “you want to know something?”

“Of course.” When it came to you, he wasn’t sure if he had the power to say no.

The stars hang low and the moon twinkles at the highest point of the night. The chatter from the normally busy boardwalk has been replaced by sounds of waves crashing in the distance and all the shops have gone dark. The smell of sweet waffle batter lingers from your clothes and the chilly summer breeze blows at the strands of your hair. 

“I’ve still never had my first kiss.” It had been a long kept secret, feeling embarrassed that someone at your age hadn’t experienced a simple kiss. You had thought that the moment you entered college, everything was going to change and you were going to experience it all. 

However, the romantic in you wouldn’t allow it. In all the books you read, you only hoped for a magical kiss that swept you off your feet. One that deemed itself memorable, that would have you replaying over and over in your head. A kiss so full of passion that it would destroy you to pull away from.

“It’s nothing amazing.” Doyoung dully answers, noting the pout on your face the moment he says it. He immediately feels bad for damping the mood even further. “Sorry, that’s not what I mean.” 

“How was your first kiss?” You lay that million dollar question on him so innocently. 

He genuinely couldn’t even remember how his first kiss was. All he could make out was how sweaty his palms were and how he threw up right afterwards. “It was mediocre. I think it was with someone random at a freshman welcoming party. I had too much to drink and barfed on the curb right after it happened.”

The sound of your melodic laugh causes him to follow. “Hey!” He points, the reoccuring grin appearing on his face, “don’t you dare laugh. I shared that in secrecy. It was a very vulnerable moment for me.”

You hold your stomach from the intense chuckles, tears rimming your eyes. “I appreciate the vulnerability. It made me feel a lot better.” 

Amidst the robust laughter, Doyoung found himself wanting to be the reason behind your happiness. A burning sensation spread across his chest, intense enough to where he thought he might’ve had a bad sunburn. He peers over at your giggling figure again. 

Your mouth opened in a toothy smile, your cheekbones high up on your face. Under the dimly lit boardwalk, Doyoung’s heart races at how stunning you look hunched over and just doing something as simple as laughing. Joy matches you so well and he can’t seem to look away.

It’s like the wind knocked the air out of his lungs, but he falls breathless at the realization. Underneath the stars of this summer night, Doyoung was falling for you. 

When your laughter comes to a gradual stop, Doyoung snaps out of his internal confusion of these new blossoming feelings for you. He bids you a small smile, “what I meant to say was that first kisses don’t have to be the special one. All it takes is the right person at the right time. A kiss like that would trump any first kiss.” 

“You sure say that with a lot of vindication. Do you think you’ve experienced that yet?” Curious eyes fall upon him, you watch him like a spectacle and he grows nervous under your gaze.

“Definitely not. All I’ve experienced are wrong persons and wrong times.” It is a mindless thought he let escape and he doesn’t hope you read too much between the lines. He surely did not include you in that statement whatsoever. You had to be the right person, deep down somewhere he knew that. “Those are once in a lifetime moments, that's why I think they're so special.”

“I like that perspective.” You nod knowingly. “I hope to experience something like that one day too.” Your head drops to your hands, fiddling your thumbs at the thought of something so remarkable. 

Doyoung could kiss you right here. He’d pick up your chin and dive right into you. He’d give you your first kiss and something even more special. Nonetheless, his body remains stuck on his side of the bench. It’s as if he physically cannot get himself to do it, as if rushing into it wouldn’t be a good idea. 

He doesn’t know or understand why his body stayed frozen in place. As much as the desire to kiss you stirred within the pit of his stomach, there seems to be a barrier halting him from acting on it. Almost like his mind is telling him that this isn’t the right time, not yet.

Hands in your curls, Doyoung presses his face deeper into you. Both of your hearts pulse rapidly at the long awaited kiss. Your trembling fingertips brush his cheek and his knees grow weak at every inch you touch. Your lips dance together like they’ve known the steps this whole time.

Doyoung kisses you like the world really is ending, like the only two people who exist are you and him. It’s beyond romantic– it’s feverish, transcendent, and special. Kissing him has your feelings bursting into a chaotic, wild flame that only he can put out from this moment forward.

You kiss him like you’ve known him all his life and everything has led up to now, like the right person at the right time. This has been the kiss he has been patiently waiting for, growing for, all of this time has amounted to this one beautiful moment with you. You grip his arm, holding onto him tightly and afraid that he’d let go, that if your lips parted, it would completely destroy you.

Until you’re both gasping for air and joints in pain from the awkward position you’ve made your way in, the kiss comes to an end. Doyoung blinks with round, innocent eyes and puffy stained lips, truly stuck in a daze. His hair resembles a bird's nest, sticking out at random directions and clearly disheveled. 

You pull down the part of your dress that managed to ride up on your thighs, tidying the strands of flyaways around your face. When your eyes meet and shyly part, you’re both bursting into laughter and the steamy tension in the tiny apartment dissipates instantly. This is how it should’ve been. 

Your thumb smears the remaining lipstick that painted Doyoung’s lips, doing your best to wipe away the mess. He catches your wrist in the midst of it, “I’m sorry for ever hurting you in the past.” 

With your mouth agape, you’re unsure how to respond. With a long awaited kiss, came a long awaited apology, that is something that Doyoung knew well. You deserve every ounce of his sincerity and explanation. He gulps, anticipating whatever you may throw in his direction. Despite being full fledged adults, Doyoung feels as if he is back in his early adult years and still foolish when it comes to his feelings for you.

“I just never understood why you ran away, why you had so many excuses.” Reliving that memory has been painful, but less as time passed. It had been a tremendous part of your growth, even if it wasn’t something you wanted to experience.

The end of summer finally dawned on the two of you. Doyoung had been distant the last few days, but played it off as needing to pack for his trip back to college. You respected his space, but it would be a lie if you didn’t hope to see him waiting for you after your final shifts at the gelato shop.

All the bright days and breezy nights spent together were going to stay with you for a long time moving forward. Never did you think that you and Kim Doyoung would reunite and grow so close. Along with that, you never thought that you’d grow to like him so much. 

You’ve tossed and turned long enough. Now that Doyoung is leaving, you’d feel regretful if you didn’t let your good friend know at the very least how you felt. So, on the night before he makes his way back to school, he agrees to meet you on the pier for a goodbye.   

Doyoung is already leaning over the ledge, peering out into the dark waves in deep thought. He had been so conflicted the past few weeks, coming to the realization of his romantic feelings for you. He knew that meeting you again and growing close had that possibility, but he was unable to think that far ahead. He just wished to enjoy every waking moment with you. 

This summer with you had been a dream, one that he didn’t want to wake from. Now that he had to go, he didn’t know how to proceed. He had considered a confession, but what then? In the sheer chance that you reciprocate, he couldn’t give you the relationship you wanted. He couldn’t be there waiting for you after your shifts like he did here. He was going to be miles apart and so zoned into his studies. 

The internal conflict ate him alive, avoiding to see you on the last few days of summer you two had left. It was selfish on his part, but couldn’t let his feelings grow more to the point of recklessness. Doyoung could not afford to be reckless.

You come running toward him with a gigantic smile on your face, the one that makes Doyoung naturally grin back. He loves seeing you this way and his chest burns with an aching pain at the reality that awaits him. 

“Hey! How’s packing been?” You greet him, exasperated from the light jog. 

“I managed to finish a bit ago. I realized that I should pack more of the sweaters I left behind. It’s not as warm out there as it is here.” Doyoung shoves his hands into his jean pockets, the wind picking up the ends of his shirt and blowing lightly. 

“That’s good.” It’s all you could say before mustering up the courage to speak the real reason why you’re here tonight. Your eyes drift to the waves crashing along the shore and the footprints left from earlier in the day getting washed away. Your throat nearly closes, but you knew it had to be said. 

“Doyoung, I actually came out to tell you something important.” 

He chokes up, afraid to know and unprepared for what you were going to say. Nodding, he looks at you with a blank expression. 

“I had such a fun summer with you that I found myself growing to have romantic feelings for you. Do you feel the same?” Your confession evokes a sense of excitement and joy, Doyoung could do cartwheels. Nonetheless, they soon become squashed by the impending truths of reality. As much as Doyoung wanted to confess and tell you how he felt the same, he chose not to. 

Instead, he chooses to find a way to reject you. Dragging it out would be more painful than ending things between the two of you now. He thought this had to be the best option for your happiness. 

“I’m sorry, but I’m going away tomorrow.” He can’t answer your question because then he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from revealing all the ways you make his heart race and palms sweaty. He can’t hold onto a hope for the two of you to exist, knowing that the distance and his dedication to his studies came first. He wasn’t ready. 

Your smile drops immediately, being replaced with a frown. “I know, but we can work things out. You’re not too far–”

“I can’t do the distance. I can’t sacrifice the time from my studies.” Doyoung can see your heart shatter with every word and he doesn’t know how to help. His own heart crushed in his chest and nothing, but sharp pain reveals itself. 

“You can’t or you won’t?” You’re biting back tears. You didn’t expect the confession to go like this. Not that you expected him to reciprocate, but you didn’t think he’d chew and spit out your feelings like this. All this time, all his gestures, all his smiles, were they really not meant for you?

He says the same excuses again, which only frustrates you further. It didn’t feel like he was being honest with you, but he refused to give another reason. “I thought that this summer was special to us.”

Doyoung doesn’t wish to upset you more, so he says his last words to you before running off. “Summer is not enough.” You’re whiplashed by his cruel response, left speechless as you watch his figure dash off and down the pier. 

You’re left alone and staring at his fading shadow. A hole in your chest from your heart being ripped out and trampled on the ground. As a tear runs down your cheek, you think to yourself how Kim Doyoung is a coward, but how you are a fool to think that this summer meant anything more than it was.  

“Wasn’t it obvious?” Doyoung sighs, that memory haunting him like a nightmare. “I was stupid. Not only was I a coward, but I was thoughtless. I thought that if I ended things there, you wouldn’t be hurt in the long run.”

“Did you always plan to hurt me?” 

Doyoung snaps his head over at you, a ghastly expression on his face at your question. “Absolutely not. I-” He searched for the right answer, “I knew that I wasn’t going to be a good boyfriend to you if things continued. I was so imperfect that at the point of my life I was in, I was not ready to be the person you deserved. I wanted to give you the moon and the stars, believe me, but I was a boy who couldn’t even afford a scoop of mango sorbet.” 

“Doyoung, the boy I loved was imperfect, but he managed to make sunflowers bloom in my chest and feel as if I wasas loved by the sun. I wanted nothing more than to be yours that summer.” Your hand lightly clasps onto his. 

He tightens the grip, “again, I’m so sorry I so selfishly and idiotically ruined things between us, for making you sad. I only wanted to be the reason behind your gorgeous smile. I wanted to reach out all this time, but I couldn’t get over the guilt that built up after all this time. Why would you want someone who hurt you to come back into your life?”

You lifted Doyoung’s chin, bringing his focus back on your face. The connection is electrifying, like an instant buzz that fills your system with a simple look. The way that Doyoung looks at you is like a mesmerized, starstruck fool.

“You hurt me and it took a long time for me to build that bridge and get over it. However, after all these years, you’re all I could think about. That summer is all that floods my mind when I’m alone, that summer of us.” Your gentle words remind him of a softness he had forged a long time ago. A tenderness in your touch, in your gaze, in your tone is enough to break down his walls.

“I’ve wondered about you everyday.” He feels himself so easily drawn to you, so willing to open his pages for you to read. “And everyday, I wished I could get another chance. Would you allow me that? Another chance to be with you?”

It’s like the person you were from that summer awakens inside of you, longing and yearning to be Kim Doyoung’s. This entire night had been full of pockets of nostalgia seeing him again. Remembering, feeling, forgiving. But that question really solidifies that that young kid still lives inside of you, still wanting to love their summer crush as much as they did.

“Yes, I’d give you that chance in a heartbeat.” 

Doyoung kisses you again. And again. And again. For every moment under the summer stars that he wished to do so. Your summer love has found its way to your present. 

[cupidsdolll]

pairings: boyfriend!mafia!Harry x fem!reader

word count: 3.2k

summary: Harry's known for being ruthless in the way he does his job, a day out with his girlfriend takes a horrible turn.

content warnings. IMPORTANT: hurt no comfort. blood, guns, knifes, and death. please read with caution

authors note: this has to be the darkest story i've written and i just want to say please read with caution, don't read if you are uncomfortable with any of the warning written above. minors please don't interact. this may or may not have a second part following the aftermath.

----

It wasn’t supposed to end this way. 

Everything seems to go wrong one after another and Harry blames himself. If he hadn’t been so reckless, had been paying more attention he would’ve seen it coming. He figured they’d come for him eventually, there’s no denying that part. He had enemies, there’s no doubt about that. It just comes with the job, or the title he would say. Being a head boss of his huge mafia crew, he’s bound to have enemies because of the fact that he’s relentless in his ways. 

He doesn’t waste time with questions that most people ask before killing someone, he gathers the information beforehand and watches them before making his move. He’s mean in his acts, likes to torture them and prolong the pain before quickly putting them out of the misery (he just doesn’t like to hear their screams.) He’ll beat them and laugh while doing it, mocking their cries while he tortures them. He’s well known around the United States, his name sending fear through most people that hear it. No one wants to deal with him, to end up on his bad side, while other mafias will send their catch to him sometimes if one of their employees doesn't want to do it. He’s popular with the other bosses, constantly being invited to any events and to teach but he declines, it’s simply a waste of his time. 

While his hard exterior scares off anyone in sight, there’s one person who broke down his walls and quite frankly is  the complete opposite of him. While he’s all black and grumpy, she’s soft and sunshine-y, all bows and giggles and sweet smelling perfume. She doesn’t hang around him while he’s “Mafia Harry,” usually out shopping or baking or whatever because she can’t stand blood or seeing anyone get hurt though she understands why he does what he does. His men think he’s crazy half of the time, the amount of times they’ve walked into him smiling on the phone (when he’s not bossing his men around, barking orders over the phone or beating someone to a pulp) or chuckling to himself at certain points of the day is concerning to them. 

He doesn’t talk about his personal life to them aside from his closest man on the team, EJ who has heard bits and pieces about Harry’s girlfriend, his other men don’t get paid to listen to him gush on and on about the girl of his dreams. They whisper amongst themselves about how he’s smoked too much or needs to cut back on drinking and drugs and whatever else he does, they think it’s all gone to his head. None of them bring it up to him though, they know better than to do so. After all, he is the one that signs their checks and he treats them well enough that they don’t want to mess up any chances of keeping their job. They just don’t understand how their grumpy and uncaring boss can be so smiley and happy, especially before he has to take care of someone. 

He keeps her away from his job for a reason, there’s no need for anyone to see her, to know that he does in fact have a weakness. He doesn’t want to take a chance of a mole coming in and reporting to their boss about her. His main focus is protecting her and making her happy, always having her sporting his favorite smile. Besides, she’s too pretty to be around all the gruff men and blood and screams. He doesn’t want to tarnish her in any way, he loves her just the way she is and he refuses to be the one to ruin her view of the world. He doesn’t want her to end up like him, all grumpy and somewhat pessimistic of the world and always on the edge whenever he leaves the house. He wants her to keep laughing and cooing at cute animals they pass by, wants her to feel comfortable enough with him to always be able to shut her brain off and just follow him aimlessly. 

He’s a busy man, constantly having to answer phone calls and texts and emails and double checking surveillance videos to make sure they have the right guy, but he tries his best to leave work at the door when it’s just the two of them. He wants to be able to just enjoy the time together and not have to worry about who he needs to find next, wants to be able to look at her smiling and be content with that. He wants to enjoy their time together, doesn’t want to be distracted with his work duties and the constant sound of his phone dinging. 

They normally would just hang out at the house, watching whatever tv show either of them were interested in or just lounging around. That’s one of the main things that he loves about her is that she’s content with just existing with him, his past partner wanted to go out all of the time and party. He didn’t necessarily mind it, but he prefers to just unwind and relax on his off days; he just wanted to have a sense of normalcy, the peace amidst his chaos and his storms. That’s what happened when he met her. It was a cute little meeting that Harry still brings up quite frequently and is one of Y/N’s favorite memories of them. 

Harry was having a bad day, it all seemed to go wrong. While he’s always grumpy, he woke up especially grumpy that morning and of course he tried his best to not take it out on his employees, but of course still ended up being overly sarcastic with them, grumbling about whatever they did that upset him so he decided to make a trip to just breathe. He grabbed his jacket, hat and sunglasses and quickly let EJ know he’s leaving and he’s in charge for the meantime. He walked for what seemed like hours before he landed on a small coffee shop, a small run down looking building with plants in almost every corner and empty space. He figures this might help with his grumpy mood so he walks inside, the smell of coffee and different pastries fill his nose immediately, the sound of the different conversations happening all at once and the soft piano music coming from the speakers fill the space and his ears. 

He ordered a drink out of his normal, one that was recommended by EJ’s girlfriend actually, a tall white chocolate mocha with just a drizzle of caramel and it has to be iced. Those were her words exactly, it won’t taste as good if he doesn’t order it exactly how she says it.  The lady looked at him weird, a concerned glance that only says she knows how to do her job so she’d appreciate it if he didn’t doubt her abilities. He only gives her a nasty glare in return, one that flusters her so she walks away mumbling to herself as she starts making the order. He then walks to one of the nearby walls, leaning against it as his eyes scan the room and taking in the different personalities, mainly doing this to be aware of who else in the room with him (as if anyone who’s in the mafia would be ordering coffee, let alone from the same cheap looking building that he’s in,) but still just in case. 

Not even a couple minutes later, his order is being called out and he walks up to the register once more, hoping this will help his grumpy mood. He wasn’t paying as much attention as he should’ve been though, otherwise he would’ve known that this wasn’t his order actually. As he went to grab the cup of coffee, another hand reached out as well, one that was smaller and softer. Painted nails and a few rings on the fingers, and he immediately looks up with a scowl ready to tell the person off. It was his drink after all, what were they thinking? When he looked up, he was met with a soft apologetic smile and the prettiest of eyes, her hair held back with a big bow and an outfit to match. She smelt like heaven if that was a smell, sweet smelling and strong; a scent that matched her aura perfectly, although Harry wouldn’t call it her aura, he didn’t know the right word to describe it. 

He couldn’t go off on her, it’d be cruel and he’s not that mean, so he just stares at her. She immediately begins to fidget with her hands and he can tell he’s intimidating her. 

“I’m so so sorry! I just assumed this one was mine because I was here before you, but you can go ahead and take it!” She says through a breath, her eyes wide and face flushed. He furrowed his eyebrows at her, he doesn’t understand why she’s giving away her coffee if it’s true. He’s not gonna just take someone else’s coffee no matter his mood. 

“No, no go ahead. If you were here first then I’m not gonna just take it.” He says as he pushes the cup closer to her, he can feel the unnecessary glare from the worker at the whole interaction and it only irritates him further. 

“Are you sure? You seem very…um…. Grumpy and I’d hate to make your day worse.” She says as she pushes the cup towards him. 

This is all very silly, the whole situation. He’s just trying to be a gentleman and she can’t grasp that. He then grabs the cup and puts it in her hand, forcing a smile to seem as if he’s friendly and not trying to hide his frustration. 

“I’m serious, I don’t even know if I’ll like mine, it was a suggestion from a… friend of mine I guess. Enjoy it before it gets watery.” He says, but he doesn’t understand why he’s being so nice to her. Maybe because she’s pretty? But he doesn’t want to date her, he can’t afford to waste his time like this anymore.  She ends up telling him her name and asking a couple of questions to try to make small talk and unfortunately for Harry she’s fairly easy to talk to. They talk until his drink is ready, and then some more out the door as they walk to their destinations and then she has the confidence to ask for his number, which of course (and against his better judgment) he agrees. 

After that it’s pretty smooth sailing, conversations whenever they have the time, and of course a little white lie whenever she asks about what he does for work. Months later, Harry found himself asking her to be his girlfriend and of course she said yes. They usually spend their time lounging around and just existing in each other’s company, but today Y/N wanted to go for a little walk around the town. Normally Harry would be against it, especially when it’s right after he just took care of a member of a rival mafia who’s higher up on the scale and he knows he has several mad enemies looking for revenge. But Harry had thought that he’d been doing a good job hiding her from the public, having her dress as one of his men or wearing some sort of disguise after he told her the gist of what he actually does, so he doesn’t think much of it. He agrees but tells her they can only be out for half an hour, no more just to be on the safe side. She squeals excitedly before tugging on her shoes and throwing on one of his jackets and basically drags him out of their apartment. 

She shows him a couple of her favorite spots in town and gives him her favorite orders and practically begs for him to try, he will always try anything she wants. They talk quietly, wrapped in their own little bubble of bliss and this was Harry’s biggest mistake. He’s usually very attentive whenever they’re out and about, but he allowed himself to be distracted listening to her talk. She’s excited as she talks about some outfit she wants to get for the pet they don’t have, her eyes all bright and full of excitement. The air is warm against their skin and the clouds begin to roll in, dark and menacing and this is where Harry should’ve begun to take a hint. 

Things seemed too calm, aside from the storm beginning to roll in. It seemed too quiet, and then the rain began to fall. Small droplets of water cooled their skin and Y/N smiled brightly at the sky, silently thanking the universe because she always likes walking in the rain. It just always seemed so romantic to her. Harry didn’t think too much of it though he was still cautious. His eyes still scanned over the sidewalks and streets, trying to stay alert of his surroundings. He watched as Y/N tugged her jacket closer to her, a signal that she’s getting too cold but she’s always been too stubborn to let him know, she just enjoys being outside too much. 

He just assumed that time would be on his side with all of it, and had enough time to somehow throw the Gallegos family off of his tracks long enough to not have to be on edge anytime he’s out. He hates it whenever he feels as if he’s putting Y/N in harm's way, hates the feeling it gives him knowing he’s the reason she can’t just walk down the street or just even exist in this world. He’s too scared of someone linking her to him and then taking her away. Y/N says she doesn’t mind all that much, this is the happiest and the most taken care of she’s been in a really long time. As long as they’re both happy and safe, then she could care less. 

Harry didn’t see it coming. The breeze was picking up and the rain was coming down harder, thunder began to boom in the sky. The storm was coming, and it was coming fast. Everyone was scrambling to get indoors or to their cars and Y/N’s just smiling but still walking fast, she hates being too wet for too long. They were bumping into one another and Harry walked a beat behind her, just in case she happened to trip or anything. There was a slight commotion happening in front of them, the sound of gasps and the shuffling of feet as they were pushed to the side. Before long a man is running at them, a hood hiding his face and wearing baggy clothes. Harry still doesn’t think too much of it, maybe a burglary or he upset a store owner, but he’s still cautious. He walks closer to Y/N, his face turning mean in an attempt to deter the man from bothering them. It’s useless though, a good attempt at best but the man moves closer and Harry frowns. He wraps an arm around his girl and begins to move her onto the other side but the man is already right beside them, still moving. 

He’s an arm's length away and before anyone can realize it a knife is entering Y/N’s side and she’s groaning and leaning over. Harry can’t believe it, he frowns deeply and his eyes scan over her. He picks her up and begins to make his way through the crowd to find an empty spot, to make sure they’re safe before anything else happens. There’s more gasps and murmurs around them, more than likely the bystanders either assume he did it or they’re just shocked. It’s not every day that you see blood pouring out of someone. Right before Harry can get them into an alleyway and when he clicks on his ear piece to alert EJ about what’s happening, a gunshot sounds and the bullet goes into Y/N’s head, her blood splattering over his clothes and onto his face. 

He hurries into the alleyway, tears streaming down his face as he stares in disbelief. 

“EJ here, what’s up boss?” EJ’s voice comes through Harry’s earpiece. 

“EJ, they found me. They hurt her. I need you to get into all the security cameras on the strip and find out who did it, search for snipers as well. One Knifed her and someone else shot her,” His voice cracks on every word. He gently sets her down onto the ground near the wall, once he feels as if they’re far enough. Hidden enough by the shadows of the buildings but with just enough light to see the damage. 

It seemed as if the sky screamed with Harry. 

The rain was pouring down heavily, the clouds dark and the wind was unforgiving as it blew harshly against the trees and the ground below them. The lighting strikes were loud, bright flashes of light burst from the sky randomly and loud rumbles of thunder were deep in his ears. Mother Nature has to be upset as well, crying with and for Harry and his loss. He can’t believe it, the love of his life. Gone. Her breathing is shallow and her eyes are just barely opened, she doesn’t have much life left. 

“You fucking promised! You can’t leave me! Don’t hurt me like this… please” Harry’s voice cracks as he sobs over the body in his arms. 

“I’m so sorry, mama. I’m so fucking sorry, you didn’t deserve this and it’s all my fault. I knew me being in your life was a bad idea but I couldn’t help it. You made me so fucking happy, the happiest I’ve been in a while. You deserved nothing but happiness and smiles, you shouldn’t have to worry about hiding. I was selfish and I’ll forever blame myself, I should’ve let you go. I’m so fucking sorry. I love you, please. You can’t leave me. I need you.” He cries, his words are muffled into her neck, somehow hoping him speaking into her body will magically bring her back to life, keep her alive. He can’t hear anything aside from his own sobs, everyone else doesn’t matter to him at this moment. He’s sure that EJ is trying to talk to him, but he can only focus on the fact that he’ll never be able to hold her again. 

He’ll never be able to hear her laugh again. He holds her tighter to him, his tears landing in her skin and he screams. He screams and screams forever, he doesn’t care that he’s gaining attention from the people walking by. He doesn’t  care that they’re calling the police and ambulances, doesn’t care that he could be attracting his enemies. They took the only thing he truly cared for. He knows he’ll never be able to love again. There’s a few people trying to help, ask if he needs anything. Offering to take them to the hospital, even the paramedics can’t get to her. He won’t let them take her away from him, he can’t bear it. He can’t imagine a life away from her. They’re trying to convince him that she needs to go to the hospital, trying to take her from his hold. He just holds her limp body tighter, crying harder and yells at them. 

Eventually they’re able to calm him down enough to remove her from his hold and they begin to transfer her to the ambulance. 

“Don’t bother taking her to the hospital. Just take her to the morgue. She’s dead. There’s no saving her.” He says as he wipes his tears, everyone just stares at him. 

“Please.” He says and just walks through them, he doesn’t have it in him to argue. Right now, he has a mission. He’s determined to get revenge. 

He now has no reason to not hold back anymore, and he plans on finding each and every one from that group. 

He’s not going to play nice, and he’s going to take his dear sweet time. If they thought he was crazy and ruthless already, he’s going to prove that he’s insane now.

[sibylsleaves]

some things fall when they're meant to fall

4k | rated T | read on ao3

Yeah,” Eddie agrees. “And he’s always gonna be my best friend. He’s always gonna be the person I turn to. The first person I look to when I’m happy, or hurting.” He laughs again. “Even when it’s kind of his fault.” Marisol goes a little still against his arm, and draws away. “The first person?” Eddie turns his face toward her. “Well, yeah. That’s just how it’s been since we met.”

or, Buck tells Eddie some news. Eddie breaks up with his girlfriend. Not necessarily in that order. written for @burnthatbridge

Eddie collapses down on the sofa, propping his ankle up on the coffee table. It’s pretty much completely healed by now, but it still twinges a bit when he’s been on his feet all day. Marisol drops onto the couch next to him and kicks off her heels.

“Man, that was such a funny coincidence, seeing Buck and Tommy at Pizzana,” he says.

She hums noncommittally. “It’s a pretty popular spot, isn’t it?”

Eddie wouldn’t really know—Buck’s the one who picks the restaurant when they go out, always excited to try whatever new place he saw on instagram or the Los Angeles food subreddit. Now that he thinks about, Buck is definitely the one who first mentioned Pizzana to Eddie, so maybe it wasn’t such a coincidence.

“Well, I’m glad he and Tommy are hanging out. I knew they’d hit it off if Buck just gave him a chance.” It had been a surprise to see them out together, but a good surprise. After the basketball incident, Tommy had told Eddie he wanted to clear the air with Buck, and it seems the air was successfully cleared.

They’d been done with their dinner, but Eddie had convinced the two of them to stay for another drink while he and Marisol waited for their own pizza. It had been fun—he likes Tommy a lot, and now that Buck’s let his guard down he can see he likes the guy, too.

It kinda reminded him of how Buck was when he first met Eddie—territorial, at first, but then once Eddie had proved he wouldn’t be so easily put-off by Buck’s barking he’d sort of…melted. That was the only word Eddie could think of to describe it, the way he’d smiled and just opened up, like a dog rolling over to show his soft belly, blushing pink as a flower unfurling into full bloom.

Anyway, it would’ve been a nice night, with the four of them—and on the surface, it had been. They’d laughed and joked and recounted the entire hurricane rescue for Marisol. But something had felt…off with Buck. It had been bothering Eddie all night. Not quite the same way things had felt off with him before the basketball incident. Something else. He’d been…nervous, almost? Eddie had been thrilled to run into them, but for a minute when his gaze landed on Buck, Buck had looked…guilty, almost.

He had no reason to be. He’d already apologized to Eddie for the whole thing, and Eddie had reassured him and gently chided him for not just telling him he was feeling left out, and they’d been fine since then. More than fine. They had plans to take Chris to his surf lesson tomorrow, for god’s sake.

“Eddie,” Marisol prods gently. “What are you thinking about?”

Eddie turns to her, his easy-going smile already in place. Her own smile flickers and he knows he’s made a mistake.

They’ve been talking about this, is the thing. A few days ago, she sat him down and told her how it bothers her that Eddie doesn’t—hasn’t—opened up to her. He can’t really deny it. He hadn’t told her much at all about the hurricane rescue until it had come up tonight. He hadn’t told her much about Shannon, or about what Chris had been going through a few weeks ago. He doesn’t know why—he’s not that guy that just bottles up his feelings anymore. He’s not.

So he takes a breath, and he says, “I guess I’m just thinking about Buck.”

“Buck?” she echoes, but she doesn’t sound surprised, exactly.

“Yeah,” Eddie continues. “He seemed off tonight, and I guess maybe he’s still feeling guilty about what happened at the pick-up game, but—I forgave him for that.”

Tommy had been the one to explain the basketball incident to Marisol, when she’d showed up that night for their date and Eddie had been crashed out on the couch, loopy with pain meds. Eddie’s actually not sure what Tommy had told Marisol, but she seemed to at least have gleaned that Buck was more or less responsible for Eddie’s condition.

Eddie shakes his head and blows out a breath of frustration. “I just—I wish there was some way to get him to really understand, you know? That we’re partners and that nothing and no one is ever going to change that.”

Marisol shifts beside him, her dark curls brushing against his arm where it lies along the back of the couch. “Well, I mean. What if one of you gets reassigned?”

Eddie stares at her for a minute, puzzled. Then he laughs. “No, I don’t mean partners at work. I mean, you know. We’re partners.”

(keep reading on ao3)

[drvirgus]

Mute!

Non-Idol! Hanni X Mute! Reader

Description: Life as a mute girl in university: How does Y/n navigate her life, especially when she has to work on a project with her crush, one of the popular kids on campus? Can Y/n find a way to express her feelings?

Warnings: Trauma; strong language; kys/kms jokes; insults; bad family 😔 (kind of abuse?)

Chapter: I´m so Dumb.... (Fully- Written)

Masterlist

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hwang Yeji.

A name to be envied, pitied, and a name everyone knew all too well.

Hwang Yeji. A child who wanted everything.

Every bit of attention? She got it. Every toy? She got it. Everything she ever dreamed of? She got it.

Even at the age of three, when her older brother made a new friend in kindergarten, Yeji felt compelled to steal that friend away. She did everything to make it happen. She repeatedly bought him little gifts, chose him as her partner for games, and whined about it at home.

But once she had that friend, she played with him for a while before eventually discarding him.

That had always been Yeji's way of navigating through life. Over and over, she needed variety, whether or not it involved her brother.

Yeji never thought her heart would be broken.

She was always the one breaking others' hearts, regardless of whether they were male or female.

Yet somehow, someone managed to do it.

Hwang Yeji's heart was broken.

After what was, for Yeji, a long relationship of seven months, Choi Jisu succeeded in breaking Hwang Yeji's heart.

She accomplished what no one else had.

Hwang Yeji was hurt, shattered, and her anger and bitterness ran deep to her core. She wanted nothing more than to project her pain onto someone else.

If others suffered, Yeji would feel better.

And who would make a better target for that than Kim Y/n? A mute, manipulatable little girl? A girl who wanted nothing more than to be seen?

But it didn’t go quite as Yeji hoped.

Sure, she managed to hurt Kim Y/n’s heart... but it wasn’t broken.

Of course... how could you break a heart that was already shattered?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yeji wanted to cheer Y/n up, to piece her heart back together only to break it again, stomp on it, and claim Y/n for herself.

Yeji had developed an obsession.

But how could Y/n dare? Why didn’t she want anything to do with Yeji? How did she even allow herself to go out with someone other than Yeji?

But Yeji owned Y/n. She was Yeji’s and Yeji’s alone.

How could she manage to reclaim Y/n?

Rescue her.

Money was never an issue for Yeji. Luckily, Yeji was her father's favorite child. Especially since her brother came out as gay.

It wasn’t particularly difficult to find Y/n’s partner on the trip. Paying him off was even easier.

Yeji reveled in the sight.

Y/n all alone by that tree, with the rain pouring down mercilessly, looking utterly exhausted. Simply helpless.

Yeji’s heart skipped a beat as she held her umbrella over Y/n and looked down at her. Those sad eyes looked up at Yeji.

Yeji didn’t want to feel anything.

She just wanted to break Y/n to forget her own heartbreak.

But... ever since she had known Y/n, she hadn’t thought about Choi Jisu even once. Her head was full of Y/n...

This wasn’t love, she knew that.

Or was it?

Yeji bit the inside of her cheek when she saw how Y/n looked a bit disappointed upon seeing her. Yeji knew exactly who Y/n was hoping for. Y/n was waiting and hoping for Pham Hanni. Pham Hanni was supposed to save her.

Yeji didn’t like that one bit.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yeji was slowly going crazy.

She wanted Y/n all to herself. So why didn’t Y/n want her? Yeji had everything anyone could ever dream of.

She was rich, beautiful, muscular, tall, and most of all, she was good in bed. So why didn’t Y/n want her?!

Every time Y/n texted her, a glimmer of hope would light up.

Y/n belonged to Yeji.

But that hadn’t been true for a long time...

Y/n now belonged to Hanni...

Yeji couldn’t accept that. Not now and probably not ever.

Yeji didn’t know exactly what she felt for Y/n. Was it possessiveness? Obsession? Did she just want to ruin Y/n? Or... was it really love?

None of that mattered at the moment.

Y/n had left Hanni to come to Yeji.

Just like she should...

“There you are,” Yeji said with a broad smile as she looked down at the slightly shorter girl. Yeji could feel her heart skip another beat. One hand on the door handle, she opened the door wider for Y/n.

Y/n exhaled and stepped inside. Her face showed a mix of annoyance and concern. Almost immediately, she held up her phone so Yeji could read the words on the screen: “What’s the emergency?”

Yeji had to fight hard not to let a grin form on her lips. Her eyes took on a slightly sadder look. Y/n really wanted nothing to do with Yeji, did she?

And yet...

Why else would she come to her late at night?

Yeji pulled Y/n into her arms. She closed her eyes as she deeply inhaled the scent of the younger girl. “I just wanted to see you. That was the emergency,” Yeji confessed quietly. She could feel Y/n trying to push her away, but Yeji didn’t allow it. She kept Y/n tightly in her arms without looking at her.

“I know exactly what you feel for me, Y/n,” Yeji whispered as her hands slowly slid down Y/n’s back. “I know Hanni doesn’t touch you. Doesn’t satisfy you,” Yeji murmured, her lips close to Y/n’s ear.

An amused snort escaped her nose as she felt Y/n shudder. Unaware that Y/n, for the first time since knowing Yeji, felt a sense of disgust.

Hwang Yeji was just disgusting.

“Remember?” Yeji asked quietly as she finally looked at Y/n’s face. She immediately froze when she saw the slightly disgusted expression on her ex-girlfriend’s face. Yeji’s mouth opened.

She recognized that face.

That’s exactly how Choi Jisu had looked at her....

Yeji felt the bitterness and anger she had kept inside for years erupting. Her eyes narrowed as she watched Y/n slap her hands away and then quickly tap on her phone, “You’re just disgusting.”

Yeji hissed, “Oh, come on. Don’t be so prudish! You belong to me and me alone, understand?! Not Hanni and not anyone else! You’re mine!” Yeji said, visibly angry. Her jaw was tense.

Y/n shook her head. Y/n was disappointed. Disappointed in Yeji but mostly disappointed in herself. Why had she allowed Hwang Yeji to enter her life? Especially after she had already hurt Y/n once before?

Kim Y/n... was just plain stupid.

Yeji hissed as she saw Y/n open the chat with her girlfriend Hanni. A fuse burned through, and suddenly she grabbed Y/n’s phone, holding it out of reach as Y/n, mouth open, tried to retrieve her smartphone.

Yeji laughed mockingly. Her eyes were still narrow and full of rage. “You’re pathetic,” Yeji simply said as she shook her head. Her grip on the phone tightened before she threw it to the floor. Her face was furious. “You’re mine! Only mine! Just mine!”

Stunned, Y/n looked first at her shattered phone and then at Yeji. “No,” Y/n said, making Yeji’s eyes widen.

This was the first time Yeji had ever heard a word from Y/n.

Yeji suddenly smiled broadly and grabbed Y/n’s arms. “Y-You can talk?!” she asked, visibly surprised.

It was almost as if Hwang Yeji... was insane.

“Y-You can talk,” Yeji said again, a bit happier, as she pulled Y/n into her arms and held her tightly. “God... I love you so much.”

But no matter how many times Y/n wanted to hear those words, it was the wrong person speaking them. The smaller girl swallowed and, with a firm and strong push, shoved Yeji away from her. Her eyes were wide as she spoke with her hands.

“You’re crazy.”

Yeji didn’t understand. She didn’t understand what Y/n was signing. She didn’t understand why she was happy that Y/n spoke. She didn’t understand why Y/n didn’t want her.

She just didn’t understand why Y/n was leaving her...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kim Y/n was just plain stupid...

Why on earth did she go to Yeji? Why did she ruin the beautiful evening with Hanni? Why did she ever think Yeji could be a good person?

She didn’t know.

Kim Y/n wasn’t someone who cried. She never cried...

She didn’t cry when her grandmother died, she didn’t cry when she got lost in the woods, she didn’t cry when she became mute.

But now she cried...

It felt like all the sorrow and frustration that had built up in her over the years was finally being released. Her tears seemed endless.

She didn’t deserve Hanni...

Y/n didn’t deserve love...

Even when an older woman approached Y/n and spoke to her, her tears wouldn’t stop. She cried. Loudly.

Fortunately, she knew Hanni’s number by heart. It was the only number she knew by heart...

She would lie awake at night, staring at Hanni’s number, hoping that Hanni would text her. Over and over, she stared at Hanni’s number until the digits burned into her brain.

Y/n texted Hanni. Her vision was blurred by her tears, but she managed to write to her girlfriend. The only number Y/n could ever remember...

It didn’t take long for her to see Hanni. Y/n’s tears kept flowing. Her ears rang, and headaches plagued her.

In the car.

At Hanni’s house.

No matter where she was, Y/n kept crying.

Over and over, she gestured with her hands.

“I don’t deserve you. I’m sorry.”

Unaware that Hanni understood everything.

Hanni looked concerned, hurt, but most of all, compassionate. She wasn’t angry. Not a single bit. Her hands gripped Y/n’s waist, “What happened?” Hanni asked softly as she cupped Y/n’s face, wiping the tears away.

It was the first time Hanni had ever seen Y/n cry.

The first time Y/n cried at all.

It didn’t take long for Y/n, now somewhat angry at herself, to explain in sign language what had happened. Hanni remained silent. She just watched Y/n. Hanni’s jaw tightened. Her hands balled into fists as her nostrils flared.

Pham Hanni wasn’t the type to get angry. But right at that moment, she wanted nothing more than to scream in rage. She wanted nothing more than to punch Yeji in the face.

Y/n belonged to no one!

Y/n wasn’t an object that could be owned...

Hanni smiled gently when she saw the tears in Y/n’s eyes. “I love you,” she said, and suddenly Y/n froze. Her eyes widened, and her mouth opened slightly as she looked at her girlfriend.

“I don’t deserve you.”

Hanni smiled as she gently shook her head, “I don’t care.”

Y/n’s brow furrowed, “You... understand me?”

Hanni smiled wider as she nodded, “I understand you, Y/n. I love you,” Hanni said as she took a small step toward the mute girl. A smile on Hanni’s face. Her eyes scanned Y/n’s entire face.

“We should break up.”

Hanni laughed as she took Y/n’s hands in hers to stop her from talking about breaking up. Y/n’s mouth opened as she looked into Hanni’s eyes. Y/n’s eyes still filled with tears.

“I love you, Y/n.”

Y/n’s lip quivered.

Those were the words she wanted to hear. The words she needed.

From the right person: Pham Hanni.

"I love you too, Hanni," Y/n whispered softly as she sniffled.

Hanni smiled as she pulled Y/n into her arms, holding her tightly. This was where Y/n belonged. Not with Yeji, but with Hanni. The woman Y/n loved and the woman who loved Y/n back.

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Taglist: @sixflame438 @saysirhc @itzzyyyyyyydaaaa @somedaydream @wonyoungssi @gtfoiydlyj

[whatsk-poppinhomies]

Pairing : college!ex-boyfriend!Han Jisung x F!Reader TW : MORE angst ; jealous Jisung ; fluffy ending though ; kind of suggestive ; Word Count : 1.2k Request : Anonny : OMG COLLEGE JISUNG WAS PAINFUL! You did such a great job with that one line he said outside the party. If requests are open, can I request an update on what happened during that week or after graduation? Nothing to be written out. I'm just so curious to know what happened to them! A/N : I know you said it doesn't have to be written out but I'm gonna write it out because my brain has way more to say than just a couple sentences!! I hope you enjoy!!

Roommates. It was weird for him. After 4 years of being so close to you, he had been bumped down to nothing but a roommate, and not even a roommate that you enjoyed living with. You avoided him at every turn, you didn’t talk to him, you didn’t even look at him.

Mornings where he’d wake up beside you, nuzzling his face into your neck as his arms wrapped tightly around your waist, tired giggles filling the room as you unsuccessfully tried to move away from him… they were gone. He missed you, he missed every single moment that he used to share with you.

Soft kitchen kisses when you’d both stand in the kitchen making breakfast, your eyes barely opened as you almost burnt the pancakes and bacon. Quiet yawns as his arms held onto you, your body leaning back against him as you almost fell asleep in the comfort of his hold.

He had been demoted to the couch, and while he found some sort of bittersweet happiness in the scent of you that clung to the cushions, it wasn’t you. The sofa was cold without you beside him, he could barely even sleep, his eyes refusing to close completely knowing that you were there, you were so close but so far away. He hated it, he hated that he had caused this, and he feared that there was no way to go back.

3 days until graduation and you were going out more often, something that Jisung wasn’t used to happening. It almost felt like you were doing it just to escape him. You didn’t like leaving the house, and it’s not like you were going shopping, you would always come back empty handed with the biggest smile on your face.

It was a smile that he was familiar with, the same kind of smile you’d wear whenever you’d go on dates together, whenever you’d so much as see him on campus. You were happy to see him… And now it seemed like you were happy to be seeing someone else.

His phone went crazy with notifications about the parties that were happening every single night almost, leading up to graduation. He ignored all of them. Parties weren’t his thing… not anymore. The thought of being surrounded by so many people made his skin crawl, being surrounded by the people that he had tried so hard to impress… And he still couldn’t figure out for himself why their thoughts mattered so damn much.

Friends… If they were really his friends they would have respected you… No�� They weren’t his friends, they just liked having him around. He was the life of the party somehow, and even that didn’t make sense to him. He hated being around so many people… Why did he do it? What was so important about being popular? He wouldn’t know these people once these next 3 days are over. The only person he wanted to take with him once college was over was you, and you didn’t want that… You didn’t want him anymore.

1 day left until graduation, everyone was so excited, but he was terrified. Today would be the last day he got to actually be with you, to spend with you… And of course you were out again. Who the hell were you out with? Who had you going out so much? Who had gotten your attention like this and stolen you away from him?

You walked through the front door, once again bagless, showing him that you still weren’t shopping. He could see on your face, you were flustered, he knew that look quite well, he had made you look like that many times. You were giggly and giddy and when you shut the door behind you, you leaned against it, letting out the cutest little sigh. Is that how you reacted when you’d come back home after dates with him?

A date? A date?! That’s the only thing that made sense to him, and now he was… upset… he was jealous… he was pissed. “Yah!” He shouted, jumping up off the couch and storming over to you, his hand landing against the door right next to your head, caging you between him and the door. “Where were you? Huh!? What have you been doing? Who are you going out with?!”

Your little smile quickly fell when he was right in front of you and he hated that you seemed to be drained of all emotion when he was close to you. “It’s none of your business, Jisung.” You muttered, trying to duck under his arm, but he moved closer, pressing his chest against yours and pinning you there. “What are you doing?” You grunted, trying to push against him, but he wasn’t budging, his muscles flexing as he kept himself steady.

“I can’t fucking take it! It’s driving me bat shit crazy, and I hate seeing you happy if it’s not with me.” You rolled your eyes and his fist came down against the door with agitation. “Who are you going out with?! I’ll kick his ass, I swear to god!” He screeched, his head falling forward, his forehead resting against yours as he breathed heavily. “Who is it…? Just tell me, please… Are we really done?”

“You’re being ridiculous.” You mumbled, tilting your head away from him. “Don’t you have parties to attend? I’m sure everyone misses you.” You tried to push against him again, but he refused to move, his hands moving from the door to grip your hips, his head falling to your shoulder as he shuddered with quiet sobs.

“I don’t care who misses me… I want you to miss me… I miss you.” He whispered, desperately kissing along your shoulder, wanting you to feel something, wanting you to want him. “Fuck the parties… I want you… I just want you. Fuck, I miss you so fucking much!” He nibbled lightly on your neck, and he was more proud than he’d like to admit when you tilted your head to the side, a soft gasp leaving your lips. “Tell me who he is… Please, baby… Just tell me… Is he better than me?”

Your hands moved to his hair, your fingers tangling in it as you gently pulled him back, but the feeling of it had him moaning softly. “Are you jealous?” You cooed, a small smirk playing on your lips, and he didn’t even care how smug you were right now. He was jealous, and he nodded quickly. “I was with my mom… We’re getting things set up for when I move back in with her.”

He couldn’t help but stare blankly at you, blinking rapidly as his mouth fell open, and then your words sank in and his lips were latching back onto your neck, kissing and sucking against your skin ruthlessly before moving up to your lips, his teeth sinking into your bottom lip. “Why… Why did you look so happy? Why were you giggling? Hmm?” He questioned through heavy breaths, and you snorted softly as you cupped his cheeks.

“Because I know how you get… I knew you’d get jealous…” You teased, squishing his cheeks before kissing him once more. “It worked, and now you know how I felt at the party… Well, before you insulted me… Which I’m still pissed about by the way.”

“I’m sorry!” He shouted quickly, his bottom lip jutted out as his eyes widened. “We’re… We’re not done though… Are we? I don’t even want to party… I just want you.” His fingers were gripping your shirt so tight, the fabric balled up in his palms as he stepped back, leading you to the couch. “I want to spend my life with you… Every second of every day… Please…”

[hxhhasmysoul]

I’ve been seeing these jjk takes such as “Gege doesn’t like writing jjk!” And what not. And while I personally don’t think so, I do think Gege is getting a bit burnt out hence the more fast paced storytelling due to the cutthroat manga industry. But claiming that Gege doesn’t like writing jjk? A person who isn’t passionate about their story would not have such an in-depth power system and world building. But that’s just me

Sorry for taking so long to answer. 

My personal opinion is that somewhere around the foreign armies invading Gege decided to wrap up JJK. There’s so much stuff set up in the story, so many plots going on, and suddenly the manga sped up. 

I won’t express a definitive opinion as to why that happened but I will tell you what I suspect may have happened and how I feel about it. 

I agree with you, that Gege’s put a lot of passion into JJK. The story is intricately woven, connected through character arcs, intrigue and themes. 

I also get how people can get vibes from JJK that its author doesn’t like writing it. I don’t know what the takes you mention mean by “Gege doesn’t like writing jjk!”. Because if it’s an accusation against Gege, then well this fandom’s always been the pits.

As a writer I get burn-out. There are several stories I have in progress that I’m passionate about, but it takes me months to update. These stories are not my job, I can give myself time to just let them hang there, unfinished. 

In the cutthroat manga industry there’s no such luxury. There are deadlines and exact page counts and chapter counts. And there’s the fandom and expectations. I don’t know how much of the social media vitriol gets to Gege, but even if the social media is handled by WSJ, Gege is probably aware that there’s just a lot of chatter. From a story that was supposed to get cut from WSJ for not performing well, JJK became its most popular title and I think that took a toll on Gege’s mental health.

I’ve written before about how devastating it must’ve been from the point of view of a creative to be told that your story is not popular enough to continue. Then moving an event from later in the story (Yuuji’s death in the detention centre) forward  to give the story some ending. Just for it to catapult the story into popularity and being told that the story will continue.  The whiplash, the bitterness, the desperation to rearrange the story to make sense with the new order of events that wasn’t planned for it. 

Also JJK wasn’t the long series Gege pitched to WSJ. They weren’t planning on expanding on Zero, at least that was not the first long form series they wanted to do. 

There are all these factors surrounding the creation of JJK that could’ve soured Gege on the story. It’s not impossible Gege stopped liking writing JJK at some point and just wanted it to end. 

Like there are these moments after the foreign troops bit that are so good, that to me look like stuff Gege was happy to write and draw. Moments centering Yuuji, or between Yuuji and Sukuna, fights including Maki, Kenjaku’s date with Takaba, Hakari fighting Uraume, Toudou’s comeback. But for example the whole fight between Gojou and Sukuna doesn’t feel to me like anything Gege wanted to write, at least not in the form it exists now. 

For me, as a writer, it’s a very sad experience to get vibes from moments in the story signalling that the author wasn’t excited to write them. I feel so much sympathy for Gege. I think there’s something really tragic about how JJK came to be.

[postazkabansiriussupremacy]

Meeting. Sirius x Shy!Reader

Reader get caught snooping around Grimmauld Place. Sirius doesn’t mind.

I got a request a while ago for Sirius meeting a Shy!Muggleborn!Former Hufflepuff!Reader and i accidentally deleted it 🥴 I don’t remember all the specifics of the request so i apologize for that 🙇🏻‍♀️

CW: None. It’s just dialog. Age gap if you squint.

Whilst exploring the Black home, you find yourself wandering into the library. Much like the rest of the house, it’s incredibly dusty and smells horribly like mothballs. All of the portraits are covered, which is probably for the best if they sound anything like Sirius’s mother.

You read through some of the book covers, and you find that some of them are written in languages you don’t recognize. Other books have titles such as “The Legacy of Pureblood Families”, “Tales of Wizarding Greatness”, and “Blood Purity and Wizarding Superiority”.

Dragging your finger across the book spines, you grumble to yourself. “My god.. Absolutely everything about this house is depressing.”

You jump at the sound of someone speaking behind you. “It wasn’t much better when I was growing up either.”

You startle and turn around to see Sirius leaning against the doorframe. You give him an apologetic smile and hope he doesn’t notice the small bit of blush rising to your cheeks. “Oh—uh—I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize you were there.”

This is only the second time you’ve been to Grimmauld Place, and this is the first time you’ve had a one-on-one with Sirius. Insulting his childhood home probably isn’t the best start for a first impression.

To your surprise, Sirius chuckles and takes a few steps closer. You only just take notice of how tall he is. “Don’t be. No matter how much you dislike this house, I’m sure I hate it even more.”

“Oh. So it’s not a, uh..” You spot something on the shelf that looks oddly like a troll skull. You can only hope it’s not real. “Not a happy home, then?”

Sirius follows your eyes and looks unsmiling at the skull. “I think you can draw your own conclusions based on the decor alone.”

You find yourself struggling to come up with something to say that don’t sound rude. Small talk was never your strong suit, and that rings especially true when trying to talk to men that are as handsome as Sirius. “It’s, uh… different. That’s for sure.”

“You’re from a muggle family, right?” Sirius asks, casually switching the conversation to a much easier topic.

“Yeah,” You nod with a small smile, trying to brush off any embarrassment you feel. “I never had any pureblood friends, so I was always kinda curious what their homes may look like.”

“That so?” He asks, looking down at you with eyebrows raised. “I was under the impression you knew Charlie from Hogwarts.”

“I knew of him.” You correct with a shrug, struggling to maintain eye contact with the incredibly handsome man. “He was quite popular, but we were in different houses and he was already a sixth year by the time I started school.”

Sirius looks a bit surprised by that. His gray eyes widen ever so slightly and a small smile rises on his lips. “Ah, well let me guess… A Hufflepuff?”

You nod and subconsciously return his smile. “How’d you figure that?”

He shrugs a little and his eyes give you a once over. “You’re too lovely to be a Slytherin, and not quite strange enough to be a Ravenclaw.”

It’s only a small and casual compliment, so you aren’t sure why it flatters you so much. Your brain practically short circuits. You suppose when words of praise come from the lips of a tall, strikingly handsome older man they hit a lot harder than they probably should.

Before you have the chance to thank him, he continues talking. You can’t help but feel grateful that Sirius carries the conversation so easily. “Are you sticking around for dinner?”

“Yeah,” You nod. “Tonks invited me—if that’s alright.”

“Yes, of course.” He smiles, stepping toward the door and raising his hand in a gesture for you to walk in front of him. You aren’t sure if it’s your imagination or if he just winked at you. “Stay for drinks as well, if you’re interested.”

[bupia]

Love letter: Chapter 1 - Cardinal Copia x Fem!Reader

Summary: Working as the Cardinal’s assistant, one day you find a letter inside of one of his filing cabinet. As you take it in your hands, you notice there’s no “from” or “to” written on it. 

Words: 3.159

Warnings: Some Italian swearing. This chapter is pure romance, but there may be smut in the upcoming chapters.

It was pretty early in the morning and you were already making your bed while all the other siblings who shared the dormitory with you were still asleep. You were the Cardinal's assistant, although you weren't sure why he chose you. You hadn't been in the Ministry for very long compared to other few siblings who applied for the role. To be fair, you were not sure how many people applied to be Cardinal's assistant. He was not as popular in the ministry as Papa Emeritus III, Terzo. Many siblings in the ministry would do anything to be close to Papa, but it was well known that Terzo didn't care for any siblings in the ministry. There were rumors that his heart was already taken, some rumors suggested that he already had what people would call his “Prime Mover”, but you weren't sure about it as you didn't know much about him. Nevertheless, you decided to do the best job you could.

When you first started as his assistant, you thought the job would be boring. In the beginning, it felt a little dull, but as time passed, you and the Cardinal developed a good relationship. Working with him became your favorite thing to do at the ministry, especially when he would call you by Italian nicknames. 

You had been working together for 7 months now, and although waking up early wasn't your favorite thing, being near the Cardinal was pleasant. Cardinal Copia was a nice old man - gentle, clumsy, silly, focused, and respectful. He also had a habit that you found amusing. Sometimes, he would mumble words in Italian. You weren't able to understand all of it, but you were already used to some words like "cazzo" and "merda." 

With all the time you spent together, you started to see the Cardinal in a different way. He was not just your clumsy boss anymore; you started to feel something else. Hearing him call you by your name, was the highlight of your day. You loved how your name sounded on his voice with his accent. But you needed to keep it extremely professional, not showing any emotions, controlling yourself to not blush or talk to him in a shaky voice whenever he was too close to you. 

Looking at the clock on your bedside table, you realize that you are already a few minutes late. You rush to the door, opening it quickly, causing Sister Emily to almost drop the laundry basket she was carrying.

"Is everything okay, Si-sister?" She asked, her voice shaky from being startled by you.

"Yes, I'm sorry Sister Emily, I didn't mean to scare you." You apologized before leaving your dormitory in a hurry.

You run down the stairs and head straight to Cardinal's office. Luckily, it's still early and there aren't many people in the corridors. You reach his office door, grab the keys, and unlock it. You breathe a sigh of relief when you hear the click of the door unlocking, indicating that Cardinal hasn't arrived yet.

Once inside, you open the curtains to let in some light and notice that his desk is a bit messy. "He must have stayed here late last night after I left." You think as you start organizing the pens on his desk before getting on your knees to organize the files in the filing cabinet of his desk.

As you're organizing the files in the filing cabinet, you come across an envelope that doesn't belong there. There's no "From" or "To" written on it, just a blank envelope with a paper inside. You consider putting it back in the folder, but your curiosity gets the best of you and you decide to open it, but before you can read the contents of the letter, you hear a click at the door. You quickly stand up, close the cabinet door, and shove the letter into your pocket fixing your habit. 

"Buongiorno, sorella!" Cardinal greets you as he enters the room, looking at you suspiciously. "Is everything okay?" he asks while he takes some steps ahead getting close to his desk.

"Yes, Cardinal. I was just organizing some papers you left on your desk." You explained.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I completely forgot to organize them yesterday." He apologized.

"No problem, Cardinal. I'm here to help you with whatever you need." You assure him with a smile.

He smiled back at you, pulling his chair to sit on. "I honestly don't know what I would do without you, sorella. You're one of the best things that has happened to me recently. I really made a very good choice, sì?" He giggled.

In an impulsive act, you got up quickly from your chair, putting your hands on the table and taking a deep breath.

"What's the problem, sorella?" He looked at you, sitting in his chair.

"I just noticed I forgot your coffee, Cardinal." You said, turning your back to him and walking to the door before he could say something.

Feeling your heart jumping from your chest, you closed the door behind you. Those words messed with you, you know you had an impulsive reaction but you didn't know what to do when you heard him calling you as "one of the best things that has happened to me recently." You were pretty aware of how you felt about Cardinal Copia and you didn't want to let it show.

Walking to the kitchen, you could smell the coffee. The scent of the coffee was filling the corridors already. You could also smell bread being baked.

"I came to get Cardinal's coffee!" You said as you entered the kitchen.

"Sister! We thought you wouldn't come!" One of the siblings said, getting the tray with Copia's breakfast and lending it to you.

"Oh! I didn't forget at all, I was just busy with some duties." With the tray on your hands you left the kitchen and headed to his office again. 

Stopping by the door, you opened it slowly, keeping the tray straight with one hand. When you stepped inside the office, you saw Cardinal Copia in front of the window behind his desk with his gloved hands behind his back. You stayed in silence for a while, just staring at him. Today, he was wearing your favorite cassock, the black one. Not that you didn't like the other ones, but there was something about the black that would make you look at him more than usual. 

Using one of your feet, you closed the door behind you. As the door clicked shut, Copia turned his head to look at you over his shoulder. As you took steps to get closer to his desk, Copia turned his body in your direction and gave you a gentle smile.

"Oh, sorella. You're too good for this old man. What would I do without you, sì?" Giggling, you placed the tray on his desk in front of his chair.

"Well, Cardinal, I'm just doing my work." You smiled at him as he sat in his chair. "And also, if I didn't get it for you, you would totally forget to eat because we both know you get too focused on your work and forget to eat!"

"Sì, sì, you're right, sorella, but you are not 'just doing your work.' You do a lot more for me." He reached for your hand and held it. You froze at the touch of his hand reaching for the one that was still holding the tray handle. Turning your eyes from your hand to his face, you saw that he was staring into your eyes.

What only took a few seconds felt like hours due to the silence that filled the room after his touch. Giving him a shy smile, you could swear you saw him blush. As he let go of your hand, you walk back to your desk trying not to loose your composure.

For the rest of the day, you and Copia stayed in silence while doing your jobs. It was not common to work with him in complete silence. He would call your name to ask for something or just to point out some information. Sometimes, he would also engage in casual conversation. However, at times, you could swear you felt him looking at you.

Lunchtime came after a long morning of silence. It almost felt like time had stopped. Looking at the clock on the wall, you see that it is almost time to get Cardinal's lunch.

“Co-, Cardinal Copia” You took a deep breath before keep talking. “I’m gonna get your lunch at the kitchen with the other siblings.” You got up from your chair and walked to his desk to pick up the tray that was on the right side of his desk.

“Oh! Sorella, don’t need to worry about it. Go have your lunch with the other siblings and I will ask for someone to clean it and bring the lunch.” You stopped walking to his direction and nod with your head.

Turning your back to him, you left his office and went straight to the cafeteria. It was the first time that Copia hadn't asked you to do something for him or allowed you to do it. Today was definitely not a normal day, but at least it was Friday, which meant that whatever was happening between you and the Cardinal, the weekend would probably fix it.

-

Returning to the office after eating with the other siblings, you hear Cardinal's voice screaming in a not-too-unfamiliar language and loud noises coming from inside the office. You hurried your steps and opened the door, finding his office in a big mess. Cardinal Copia was throwing papers in the air, and some were already on the ground. The shelves were disorganized, all the drawers from his desk were fully open, and only your desk remained untouched. You stepped inside the office, closing the door behind you looking around all the mess having no idea what was happening.

"Cazzo! Merda! Dov'è?" Cardinal was now on his knees on the floor, taking out papers from the filing cabinet.

"Cardinal, is everything okay?" You asked, approaching him getting on your knees in front of him.

"Sorella! Great! I'm glad you're here!" He grabbed your hand, looking at you. "Sorella, per favore, essere onesta con me, did you see an envelope today when you arrived at the office early this morning?"

You knew exactly what he was talking about. "I'm sorry, Cardinal. I don't know what you're talking about. I haven't seen it." You lied. You wanted to tell him that yes, you saw it and yes, it was in your pocket, but you were too afraid to admit it. What would he think of you? There was no plausible excuse for having it in your habit's pocket.

"I may have taken it with me somewhere else. Are you sure you didn't see anything, cara?" Cardinal sighed.

You nod your head. "I'm sorry, Cardinal. I'm sure we'll find it somewhere, right?" You give him a smile.

"Sì, cara, you're right." 

"Should I help you clean up this mess?" You put your other hand on top of his.

"Ah... sì..." You felt his grip on your hand getting tighter, and you let go of his hand. Cardinal get up giving you his hand for you to hold helping you to get up after him. You smile at him grabbing his hand, holding your habit, you get up.

As you and Cardinal starts to organize the room, you couldn't stop thinking that the envelope was still in your pocket. Not only that, but you had also lied to him about not knowing what he was talking about. If it wasn’t bad enough that you had taken it from his filing cabinet, imagine how much worse it was now that you had lied about it.

While you were organizing his documents in the filing cabinet, you thought you could just put it there without him noticing it. But that would be strange, if you just looked at him saying: "Look, Cardinal, it was here the whole time!"

So you had to think in a better plan. Maybe when it was time for you to leave his office, you could tell him that you would stay just a little bit longer, so you could hide the envelope somewhere and tell him how you found it on Monday.

-

As the last hours of the workday approached, Cardinal Copia got up from his chair. He walked towards your desk and stopped in front of it.  "Sorella, I suppose we're finished for today, sì?"

"Oh! Cardinal, I haven't finished these papers yet. Is it okay if I stay for just one more hour?" Your face was glued to the papers in front of you just to avoid his gaze.

"Are you sure, sorella? Do you want some company?" He asked, not moving from in front of your desk.

"Yes, Cardinal. I'm sure. I'll finish these papers in an hour or less, and you can go rest now. Don't worry, I'll lock the door when I leave.” You replied, still focused on the papers.

He grumbled some words to himself.

"Hm?" You lift your head in his direction. "What did you say, Cardinal?"

"Nothing, sorella. Just thinking out loud, sì?" He took a step back from your table and walked to the door. "Buona notte, cara. Don't forget to lock the door when you leave." You smiled nodding at him as he left and closed the door behind him.

After he left, you returned to focusing on the papers in front of you. They weren't a big deal; you just needed to review some official documents from the Clergy to make sure everything was in order.

By the time you finish with the papers, you get up from your chair, stretch your back, and start to clean up your desk right away. You organize the files in the shelf and check if Copia's desk needs attention. With everything in order, you leave the office and lock the door. The corridors are already quiet, and you can only hear the sound of crickets outside the Ministry.

As you approached your dormitory, you retrieved your keys from your pocket. Suddenly, an envelope fell out. You realized with dismay that it was the letter you had forgotten to replace. You couldn't believe you had forgotten it.

Picking up the letter envelope from the floor, you weren't sure what to do next. Should you return it to his office, dispose of it, or keep it with you until Monday?

With so many options and thoughts running through your mind, you decided to head back to your dormitory. At this point, you regretted taking the letter from Cardinal's filing cabinet. However, it was too late, and you already had it in your possession, even worse, in your room.

Realizing it was a lost cause, you placed the envelope under your pillow and took a quick, relaxing shower. Upon returning, you checked under your pillow to ensure the envelope was still there. Unfortunately, it was.

Lying down, you couldn't stop thinking about what you had done. You had lied and hid it from Cardinal Copia, and if you told him what you had done, he would probably be disappointed and remove you from your position. You were supposed to return it after he left, but you got so distracted with the papers that you forgot.

But there was something else on your mind: why did Cardinal look so worried about this envelope? What was in the letter? If he was hiding it, it was probably something important. Your curiosity started to hammer in your head with questions that could only be answered if you read the letter, but should you? Invading Cardinal's privacy like this would probably put you on a tightrope. In fact, you had already invaded his privacy when you took it from the filing cabinet and shoved it into your pocket. And yes, you had the intention to give it a look before, but now, after seeing Cardinal on his knees throwing the papers all around, you weren't sure if you really should read it.

Yet, curiosity wasn't leaving you alone. You swiped your hand under your pillow and grabbed the envelope, bringing it close to your chest and taking a deep breath. You look around to make sure all the siblings were asleep and with a trembling hand, you open the envelope and take out the letter from inside. You still hold it close to your chest, gathering the courage you need. 

Unfolding the letter, you realize that it bears the handwriting of the Cardinal. As you begin to read, you do not see any name mentioned in the first few lines but the next few lines made your eyes widen.

“If you are reading this, it's probably because I have finally mustered the courage to deliver this letter. I know that a man of my age and position in the Ministry shouldn't be feeling what I feel for you, but it's inevitable to do not feel the way I feel when you are one of the few people who truly show compassion for me here. You've turned my world upside down in these last few months. Through small acts of affection and words, I try to show what I feel for you, but being close to you is like losing my breath, and whenever you look at me, I feel my body freeze and I have no reaction, that’s because I see gentleness in your eyes whenever you look at me, and it's almost impossible for me to maintain my composure. Your smile brightens up the room and your voice calling me as “Cardinal” is like music to my ears, although, I really wish you’d call me as Copia. Sometimes, I'm afraid of speaking too much and letting my feelings escape from within me. I can't say if this is love, passion, attraction, or something beyond that, but I know that I want to be the one holding your hand, Finally, I would like to say that even if my feelings for you are not reciprocated, I hope you can still understand that...”

"What?!" you exclaimed in your head. You turned the paper over to see if there was anything on the other side, but the letter ended there. It was inconclusive. "How can someone leave a love letter inconclusive?" you ask to yourself. Oh- wait. You sit up fast on your bed, noticing you've just read a love letter from the Cardinal, and you have no idea who he wrote it for. You've just read that Cardinal Copia is in love with someone from the Ministry, and you start to wonder who it is. But, do you really want to know? You feel a tightness in your chest. It was going to be a long weekend until Monday, but not forgetting about the Sunday mass. You’d see Cardinal Copia earlier than you thought.

Chapter 2 

Grammar

⸻

Cazzo - fuck Merda - shit Sorella - sister Buongiorno - good morning Cara - dear Dov’è? - where is it? Essere onesta con me - be honest with me Sì - yes/right Buona notte - good night

[enivez]

CHAPTER FIVE (+ .5k written)

SYNOPSIS…. Gaming is a common hobby for college students nowadays, with Overwatch being the game of choice for both Lee Heeseung and his favorite streamer loved.venus. The boy shows his love for his favorite streamer behind the screen name lee.bambi, though he doesn’t realize it was the campus fashionista that he hated ever so much behind the screen.

written chapter below

Heeseung can’t explain the pure distaste in his body when he sees you, the infamous [name], scrolling across campus with a latte in one hand and your friend Sunoo linked to your other arm. How can someone like you be so happy? How could someone of your status pursue their own passions? Being the only grandchild of one of the founding technology companies, why were you allowed to pursue your dreams and he wasn’t. He knows that he has no honest reason to his hatred but he can’t but scowl as you walk by, getting a confused look from the friend on your arm.

”What’s his problem,” Sunoo questions his friends as he turns around to take one last glance at the senior. You meet Sunoo’s curious gaze with a confused gaze.

“Can’t say I know,” continuing on, not giving it much thought.

You were familiar with Lee Heeseung, as he is quite popular among students on campus for his looks. You’ve never personally interacted with him, at least not that you remember. Especially nothing that would lead to your friends constantly pointing out the boy’s souring expression whenever you cross paths with him.

Nevertheless, you were too busy with the upcoming portfolio submission for the finalists of the fashion week slot. Still having no idea of what you wanted to submit as a representation of you and your art. You were racking your brain for the perfect idea or concept to present to the world.

As you ponder over the endless ideas that flood your brain, you find yourself in front of the building that will be your home base for the next few months. You had been in it countless times before, it being the main building for your department but it felt much more intimidating knowing you now had your own office within its walls. Luckily those competing were allowed to appoint two classmates within the department to aid you, which is why Sunoo was currently dragging you towards the space that now had your name printed on the designated door plate. Opening the door you were met with the other classmate you decided to recruit, the one and only Ningning scoffing at your late arrival.

“For someone pissing their pants over this whole thing you still manage to be late,” the girl says as you set down your stuff, setting down a cup of lemonade in front of her. Rolling your eyes at her comment and began to explore the room assigned to you. It wasn’t massive but it was larger than you expected, with the room's main feature being the large work table in its center. One wall was just shelving to hold fabric and other necessities while the other had a massive cork board that could be used as a place to display sketches and notes. Feeling the pressure of it all, you plop down in the seat next to your friends with a heavy sigh.

”Well let's get to work,” you say with exhaustion present in your voice as you pull out your well loved sketchbook.

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A/N: first written chapter!! i actually wrote this before i even wrote chapter 2-4 and im excited to do more written chapters in the future <33 +pls ignore time stamps

TAGLIST⊹₊⋆

@cholexc @woninluv @myjaeyuns @eleanorheartschishiya @dimplewonie @heelovesmeknot @lprww @haechansbbg @xuimhao @defnotfertilizedtoesw @kgneptun @jwnghyuns

[thatdesklamp]

Hello, and (for the moment) ‘see you in a while’ from old desklamp.

(Quick edit now I’ve written this all out: Oh, lordie—I’ve just realised that this sounds like I’m announcing I’m giving up on IW. I’m not! I promise. This is all about how I’m trying to facilitate my writing process. IW is not being dropped: let’s get that out of the way first, lmao.)

Hello all! I’ve been doing some self-reflecting, and I’ve come up with this: I’ve struggled with writing ‘Intrinsic Warmth’ for a long time now.

Alll too often I’ve been sat with my laptop for hours having only managed to squeeze out one or two paragraphs that I don’t even like all that much anyway. I haven’t felt satisfied by writing for a long time, and so I just haven’t written anything. It’s been months since I’ve written something worth reading for IW, and I’ve been having a think as to why.

I think it comes down to two things; I’ve been feeling a lot of pressure in writing IW, and I’ve become too fixated on the instant gratification of feedback from you guys.

First: the pressure. IW has gotten bigger than I ever considered it would be, especially recently (as in, in the jjk season 2 era). The support and feedback continues to blow me away, and I’m staggered every time I stop to actually consider the magnitude of the response that IW has gotten. It’s genuinely crazy.

All that is to say: I wasn’t prepared for this!! I don’t mean that in any resentful way at all, I want to be clear. Moreso that it’s easy to feel a bit overwhelmed by it all. I know that, relative to other huge ao3 fics, IW isn’t even that huge. But I also recognise that in the ‘Gojo x reader scene’, it’s pretty up there, even if we’re just looking through a ‘filter by most kudos’-ed fic angle. There’s a been big response, and I’m just one person, lmao. But come on, I absolutely love it, and I’m so grateful that people have enjoyed the stuff I’m writing—but as more and more people have been picking it up I’ve felt a definite pressure put upon me. It’s a pressure to write well, and to write more, and to write good things more often. This isn’t to do with anything anyone’s said, don’t worry, but more as an expected consequence of IW picking up traction.

I feel more and more like a ‘popular author’, and feel like I’m doing you guys a disservice with my infrequent updates. I truly do appreciate the reassurance of ‘you can update whenever you want!’, genuinely, but I’m also an ao3 reader myself! I empathise with and understand the frustration that must be felt when I go months between updates. Writing has never come at the expense of my personal, academic or social life (hence why I’ve never tried to tie myself down with an update schedule: I’d never be able to keep to it), and I’d never want it to. I want to keep writing as it’s always been: one of my hobbies. But as IW increases in popularity, it feels like it almost *should* take priority over other things, and this has left me feeling pretty overwhelmed.

My second reason: I’ve also become a tad too dependent on feedback. When IW was in its fledgling stages, I didn’t show it to anyone at all, and was ‘writing for myself’ in the barest sense of the phrase. Only one of my irl friends has read any of it, and when I was first uploading it, when I had about 5ish comments per chapter, any feedback I was getting would always be secondary to my own. I was writing for myself, because I enjoyed writing and I enjoyed what I was writing about, and it just so happened that there were a few people who felt the same as me.

It’s very different now! And I much prefer it now—it’s every writer’s dream to have had such an overwhelmingly positive response to their writing. And now it gets to the point where I can check my emails, or look at my tumblr notifications, and there’ll always be new for me. And whilst I absolutely love this, it’s pretty addictive, checking again and again, seeing what people are saying. This positive response from others is more instantly gratifying than the slow, steady, personal enjoyment I get from writing.

It sounds silly, I know, but I’ve been writing this hunger games fic (completely spontaneous, likely never to be published), and no-one’s read it but me, and it’s reminded me how much I really do like writing. I’ve loved the process of writing it, because the only person whose opinion I’m listening to is my own.

I don’t want to discourage people from reaching out to me, leaving comments, even talking about IW, anything like that. That’s not what I mean. But this is me recognising that I should probably take a step back from the non-writing side of writing: being active on tumblr, constantly checking asks, making posts, etc. Know that whilst I may not immediately respond to you, once I get back in the swing of things over here, I will do. I just need to sort out my personal priorities a bit, I think.

Saying this, I know I haven’t been all that active recently (this has honestly been intentional: I’ve been trying to wean myself off it, lmao) but for the immediate future, I’m making that more definite: I’m going to try to revert my focus to writing. I’m going to stay off tumblr for a bit, until I’ve gotten back into the swing of writing and don’t find myself so focused on the feedback side of it all. Hopefully this’ll spark up some more genuine passion in me! Please know that if you’ve written an ao3 comment, I have read it. I don’t know when I will respond to them, but I definitely will, I just want to keep my focus on the personal side of writing for the moment.

Thank you to everyone! Again, this is just me going off the grid for a while: not a big fuckoff goodbye or anything. If this is unreasonably theatrical, blame my drama GCSE. Going off to do some writing now. See you guys!

[its-time-to-write]

Hi y’all! This is my last unprompted angsty fic for a little! Gonna go back to our usually scheduled hijinks that are sitting in my request pile, I wanted to do this one first. I write all these as a way to deal with things that happen in my own life, whether it’s stressing about school and work, stupid romance, great romance, family, health, whatever, and I wanted to say (yet again) thank you for all the support. Sometimes I still can’t believe that you all like what I write but hey, there ya go

It’s funny, because my most popular fics are the ones that have been written directly out of my actual life. The ones that start out hard-to-deal-with, or with real, palpable heartbreak. The endings are often different because real life isn’t guaranteed a happy ending, but I’m allowed to take the past and see what it would be like if things went differently.

My characterization of Jamie is based on the only person I’ve ever really loved, which is why I can write his voice so clearly. I first watched Ted Lasso and was surprised at how similar they were, stupid hair and all. A lot of these fics are my way of archiving our story and immortalizing parts of it, as well as reminding myself that the love was there. It didn’t last and it wasn’t supposed to, but it was there.

Now, what’s real and what’s fiction? I’ll leave that up to you to decide, but I will say that it’s more than you might think and less than you might hope for.

So if you read this current fic and think, “huh, that was a really specific premise,” well I got news for you! It is. I’m in the first part of my journey on this, the early stages, and this story is not the way I want things to go for me. But I’m hoping that by creating a good ending out of a rough beginning, I can better face whatever lies ahead for me whether I approach it on my own two feet or with the assistance of some really sick wheels.

Anyway, enjoy this or skip it, it won’t hurt my feelings!

how to love being alive

Jamie’s at training when he gets the call. He barely registers the words on the other side when he’s cursing something awful, enough to make Roy Kent blush, and saying something about an emergency before speeding out the door. He pauses for a moment to look up an address in his phone, then he’s tearing out of the parking lot in a manner that puts Colin to shame. 

To summarize, he’s not acting like himself. 

He pulls up to a chiropractor of all places and the girl at the front desk must be able to tell who he’s here for because she just points to a door down the hall. Jamie’s pretty sure he’s never moved this quick in his life and wonders if this could translate to the pitch. Sure he’s fast, but he could always be faster. 

He bursts through the door to see you borderline catatonic, staring at the floor while a doctor pats your arm. She looks at Jamie and says, “Let’s chat for a minute outside,” before he has a chance to say a single thing. Jamie can’t tear his eyes away from you as the doctor leads him out and shuts the door. 

“Thought emergency contacts were for like, hospitals and shit,” he says. 

The chiropractor shakes her head. Jamie notes that her name tag says “Dr. Hadley,” and has a vague memory of you mentioning her a few months ago. 

God, it feels like a lifetime ago. 

“We’re not confident she’s in a fit state to get herself home,” Dr. Hadley says. “Her headspace is a little messed up, which is to be expected. Usually people come to these types of appointments with some moral support.”

Jamie asks, “What kinds of appointments?” and Dr. Hadley tilts her head at him. 

“You are Mr. Tartt, aren’t you?” she asks and Jamie just scoffs because he can’t decide between responding obviously, or telling her no, he’s not Mr. Tartt, that’s his father. He’s just Jamie. 

Dr. Hadley knows who he is because she doesn’t live in a hole in the ground, so she doesn’t ask for identification. She takes his scoff as permission to keep talking, so she says, “She’s here for her MRI results. We’ve been in the process of treating a protrusion on her spine.”

Jamie is positive everyone in this office must think he’s on drugs because Dr. Hadley is talking like he’s supposed to know this, but for the life of him he knows you’d never said a thing. 

“Your girlfriend has been in a severe amount of pain over the last few months, and we’ve finally been able to see the extent of the problem. Apparently she thought it would just go away, but it never did. So now she’s here with us.”

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Jamie says automatically. Because it’s true, innit? You’re not. You’ve been broken up for a month because he couldn’t take it anymore, couldn’t take the irritation at attending his matches and the tossing and turning in bed at night and the fact that you were wound so tight that you’d snap at the most minor offenses. 

You hadn’t been surprised when Jamie said he couldn’t do it anymore, it’s over, and at the time he had wished that you’d shown just a tiny sliver of emotion. After all, a year and two months is a long time to be with someone for you to coldly slide him his key and then turn away as though he were a stranger. 

He could have sworn there was a glimmer of tears in your eyes, but they’d looked that way for a bit now so maybe it was just allergies. There’s no reason for you to have been in the verge of tears for the entire month before the breakup, right?

Right. 

But he can’t think about that now because Dr. Hadley is frowning at him in a way that so comically reminds him of Roy’s sister that he has to bite back a laugh. 

Everything’s all twisted. 

“I certainly hope your split was amicable,” Dr. Hadley says. “You’re the only one listed as her emergency contact. She needs someone to get her home safely.”

“Right,” says Jamie. “Yes. Fuck. Right. Um, what exactly is wrong with her?” 

Dr. Hadley shakes her head. “That’s her personal information to share with you at her prerogative. And we should probably go see her, I’m sure she doesn’t want to be alone for long.”

Jamie snorts at that. This doctor doesn’t know you at all. If you’ve received any type of bad news the last thing you want is people hanging around. 

Jamie used to pride himself on being the only one you’d let into the bad-new bubble. 

You don’t count with those other people, you’d said once while wrapped around Jamie so tight he thought he’d have to call Ted to bring a crowbar. You said, I don’t have to pretend around you. I don’t ever get tired of you.

Jamie bitterly thinks that that statement turned out to be a lie, but he shakes it off because you’ve only been separated a month, and apparently he’s still your emergency contact for a doctor he didn’t know you had been seeing and fuck if you didn’t look like the most pitiful thing he’d ever seen. He’ll pretend it’s ok for as long as it takes to get you home and comfortable, and then he’s calling this office to get his number switched off. 

So he follows Dr. Hadley back into the room as she softly says your name in order to break whatever trance has you studying the carpet like your final exam is in ten minutes. 

You can barely look at her as she whispers something about going home and being gentle, to which you nod and finally look at Jamie. 

He wonders if you recognize him, because the stare you have is so vacant that you might as well be looking at a stranger. 

“Is she on drugs?” he asks because it looks like you’re on drugs. 

Dr. Hadley shakes her head and holds out her arm to help you up. “No, she’s just in a lot of pain. And emotional distress. It’s a killer combo, and she’ll need extra gentle handling for a while. No sitting for too long, no bending, no lifting. There’s a back support at the front desk for you to take.”

Jamie thinks he hears something pointed in the way Dr. Hadley says, extra gentle. What, like he doesn’t know how bad an injury can take you out? He’s in the Premier League for fuck’s sake. He knows how to deal with a strained muscle. 

Dr. Hadley transfers your arm over to Jamie’s so smoothly that he barely understands what’s happening as she ushers you both out the door, thrusting a small foam roll into Jamie’s free hand. 

“For lumbar support,” she says. “Won’t help much, but it’s better than nothing.”

Jamie’s pretty sure he’s said thanks as you climb in the car and then he’s in the drivers seat and it’s dead quiet. 

“Right,” he says to the silence. “What the fuck.”

You’re picking at your nails something fierce. Jamie has to fight the urge to take your hand in his. A month of separation is not long enough for this shit. 

“Can you just drive?” you ask in a broken voice. “I don’t want to be sitting for longer than I have to.”

There’s a new pitch in your voice, one Jamie’s never heard before, so he doesn’t argue. He doesn’t turn on the radio or a playlist or a podcast or anything, just drives in silence. He knows if it’s quiet long enough, you’ll talk. 

He’s the opposite. He doesn’t need time to crack wide open, just a kind touch or a soft glance and he’s an open book. He was always shocked how early into your relationship you’d figured that out. A soft, “What’s on your mind, Jaim?” and he was unloading about whatever stress or fear he had. 

He’s two minutes away from your flat when you break the silence. “I have gradual onset paralysis,” you say in a voice devoid of emotion. “‘Gradual onset’ means it happens over time. Paralysis means, well…paralysis.”

Jamie can hear what you’re saying and he understands it, but what catches him is the way you’re like nothing more than a hollow body. Not cracking a joke, not picking a fight. Just- empty. 

Jamie says a long and drawn out “Fuuuckk,” because what else can you say? It’s not really his business to comfort you or to pry, except he’s the one the doctor called, so he allows himself one question. 

“How did it happen?”

Last he knew, you were healthy as a horse. 

“Two disks in my spine popped,” you reply, still in that same awful emotionless voice. “They’re not really sure how, could’ve been any number of things. Anyway, it got into my nerves. And my spinal cord. And it’s messing things up and it’s only going to get worse. The scans were to see if they could operate, because sometimes you can remove the shards. Or whatever it is. But I guess they can’t, because if they tried I’d definitely be paralyzed. So all I can do now is be in pain and wait for my legs to shut down.”

Jamie doesn’t know how to respond to any of that but he’s saved from thinking of an adequate response because he’s at your flat. 

It was smart of you not to sell it when you’d moved in with Jamie. He wonders if you knew the breakup was inevitable. 

He hops out and opens the door like a gentleman, offering his hand like he’s some Mr. Darcy-type shit, except you had both agreed that Roy was Mr. Darcy and he was Bingley. So it doesn’t fit at all except as soon as you’re done clutching his hand so you can get out without unnecessary pain, his hand flexes itself like he’s in that damn movie. 

It wasn’t even a conscious choice, just a thing his hand decided to do, and he definitely thinks he’s going to have to talk to Ted about this. Or maybe Sam. Sam knows shit and is good at empathy. Maybe he’ll know what to say when your ex-girlfriend tells you she’s not going to walk ever again. 

Jamie follows you to the door as you fiddle with the lock and push it open with a sigh. For a moment he doesn’t know if he should go inside, but it smells like honey and cinnamon because it’s the beginning of fall and he thinks that he should at least make sure you’ll be alright. 

He notices you’re moving weird. All stiff, like. You’re trying to get an icepack out of the freezer but you can’t maneuver in a way that’s comfortable so Jamie grabs it and hands it to you. 

You mumble, “Thanks,” and Jamie catches a glimpse of the perpetual glimmer in your eye. 

“D’you need me to call someone?” he asks. “I can get Keeley down here. Or fucking… Ted. Or Colin.” He doesn’t say Sam, because he needs Sam. He can’t talk to Sam if he’s here with you. 

You shake your head. Jamie wonders if it hurts to talk, but he remembers how much you hate the sound of your voice when you’re crying. 

You take a slow, shallow breath to collect yourself. “I’m ok,” you finally say. “Not much anyone can do, and you’ve got training. I- I didn’t know they’d call you. I still have to switch your number with someone else. I’m probably going to ask Keeley since my family’s still far away.”

“Right,” Jamie says. Not much else to say. Except- 

“You were seeing that bone doctor when we were together, and you didn’t fucking say anything?”

It’s accusatory and he knows it, but he can’t for the life of him say it kinder. Ted’s always on about communication and shit, and that is not communication. 

You shuffle over to the couch and use it to help you lay face down in the floor. The icepack is precariously balanced on the small of your back. 

“Didn’t know how to tell you,” comes your muffled voice. “Least, I figured out how to tell you too late. What was I gonna say, ‘Sorry I’ve been a complete bitch to you for four weeks, I’ve got shit floating around in my spine that makes me hurt so bad I want to die?’ Sounds fucking stupid.”

Jamie wants to say, Swear jar because it’s a long-standing joke, but he catches the words right before they reach the tip of his tongue. 

“You could’ve said something,” he replies instead. “Chronic pain’s shit. It’s really shit and it makes you act like shit to the people you care about. It’s not an excuse, but it’s a reason.” As the words are coming out of his mouth, Jamie is reminded of a time when the roles were reversed, and you were giving him the “excuse versus reason,” speech. 

You’d said, You’re dad’s an abusive prick, Jamie. Makes sense that you’d have a lot of negative emotions. 

Fuck, if only you’d said something sooner. Maybe this would be something that you’d be cracking jokes about, or Jamie would be holding your hand, or he’d be laying right next to you as he runs his fingers through your hair. 

But your muscles spasm so that thought gets banished as you bite on your forearm in an effort not to yell. 

“Fucking hell,” Jamie says. “I don’t think you’re sorted on your own. I’m calling Ted.”

He walks to the other room so he can pretend he can’t hear your protests. 

—

Ted leaves training to Roy, Beard, and Nate. What’s the point in having four coaches if one of ‘em can’t leave for family emergencies?

Sure, you’re not actually family, but that’s Ted for you. He doesn’t do casual friendships. 

Jamie is out the door like a shot as soon as Ted knocks with a “Sorry, coach,” that Ted barely has a chance to wave off. 

Ted doesn’t say much once he’s inside, just rambles on about training and Kansas and Henry. He’s clattering around in your kitchen and you can’t find it in yourself to care what he’s doing so you just keep laying on the floor, willing your back to stop hurting. 

Finally, he comes over and sets down a smoothie in a short glass with a straw. 

“It’s so you can drink it without moving,” he explains. 

“I don’t think I can do this,” you say more to the couch legs than to Ted.

He sighs from where he’s crouched down next to you. “You don’t really have a choice, darlin’. You have to do this. The question is, are you gonna go through it alone?”

You shrug as best as you’re able. 

“Wrong answer,” says Ted, standing up. “You’ve got a whole crew of people here who are gonna root for you and support you with whatever you need. All you got to do is ask, sweetheart.”

Ah, fuck, you’re crying again and Ted can definitely tell because your shoulders are shaking. He’s pretty sure you’d want to save face so he stands up and says, “Beard’s coming over after training. Says he wants to figure out how to modify your house for a wheelchair or something. Thought I’d make us all dinner so we’re not so hangry when he mentions taking an ax to anything.”

The mental image of Coach Beard chopping down your stairs is enough to make you smile a little through your tears.

—

Waiting is really shitty. Like, really shitty. Every day is the same thing: tingly legs, shooting pains, phantom cramps. The worst was when Dani and Richard were over and you stood up to get something from the fridge, and your legs decided at that moment to lose feeling. You panicked with your arms held out for balance as you swayed back and forth for a moment, willing your feet to fucking move. They did, but not before Dani and Richard were on you in a flash, ready to catch you if you fell.

“Well that was weird,” you joke in an effort to cut the tension. They laugh, but you still catch their worried glance.

“You do not have to put on a brave face for us,” Dani says. “If you want to joke, we will joke. But if you want to cry, we will cry too.”

“You can cry,” Richard says, “I will just pour more wine.”

You laugh. There’s been a steady stream of Greyhounds at your flat for the last week and a half. Everyone and their mother (quite literally) has come by to see you. Your own parents were coming in a week to stay indefinitely while you sorted things out.

You wonder if it’s easier to lose control of your legs slowly or all at once? On the one hand, you at least have notice. But on the other hand, the long, drawn-out waiting feels like slow torture. Every day you wake up from restless sleep and experimentally wiggle your toes. Every day, you check off one more box on your mental calendar as you count down to a date that doesn’t even properly exist.

The only person who hasn’t visited is Jamie. You don’t blame him, though. Keeley’s come round almost every single day and has been successfully switched to your emergency contact. She’s the one you’re calling as soon as you discover you can’t move.

You’re pretty sure it’s getting closer. Your legs fall asleep more frequently and things are all numb. It’s like you know you’re in pain, but it’s not quite registering with your nerves.

It fucking sucks.

—

You don’t believe in intuition like spirits and all that, but you believe in it in that your brain can pick up things that you couldn’t if you were actually trying.

That’s why you’re pretty sure this is it.

Walking is pretty much a no-go right now, so you stiff-leg yourself to the couch and sprawl out as comfortably as you can.

You call Keeley, and she’s over in no time.

“Hi babes,” she says as soon as she’s through the door, “Can I call Rebecca for girls’s night?”

“Sure,” you say, “Might as well live it up.”

Keeley replies, “Great! She’ll be here in ten minutes,” and you laugh, really actually laugh, because of course Keeley’s already called her.

Rebecca swoops in all smiles and no sympathy which is great because if one more person pushes their lower lip out at you, you’re going to scream. She’s brought drinks and Keeley’s pulling out snacks and you’re going to talk and giggle until you fall asleep, ready for what the morning has.

“Is Shandy making a move on that one player?” Rebecca asks Keeley from the couch. 

“Nah,” Keeley calls back, “He said he wasn’t interested right now. Still hung up, I think.”

“What player?”  you ask. You know what Shandy’s like, and you feel for the poor guy.

Rebecca and Keeley are silent before Keeley says, “You wouldn’t know him.”

“Bullshit,” you reply. “I know everyone on that team and I know you haven’t signed anyone new recently. Is it Colin?” 

Rebecca shakes her head and gives Keeley a look. Keeley shrugs. “You’re the one who brought it up, babes.”

Rebecca turns to you. “It’s Jamie,” she says. “She’s been trying to bag him ever since Zava showed up.”

You shake your head. “She’s not right for him. He deserves someone better than that.”

Keeley’s back from the kitchen and scrutinizing your expression. “And what exactly do you mean by better?” she asks.

You laugh. “Oh no, not me. I wasn’t talking about me. No, I’m not- he needs someone different. Like, I don’t know, Roy’s sister, maybe? She’s great and a doctor to boot. Very caring too.”

“You’re caring,” Keeley says slowly, “And anyway, Molly doesn’t like him like that. They’re just friends.”

“Hang on, are you putting yourself in the same bracket as Shandy?” Rebecca interjects.

You shrug. “I was a complete bitch the last month we were together. There’s no excuse for it. I’m just surprised he lasted as long as he did.”

“You were in fucking pain!” Keeley exclaims. “You said you weren’t sleeping and everything fucking hurt and you couldn’t even think straight.”

You grab a handful of candy from a bowl. “Keels, I appreciate the sentiment, but I majorly fucked it. Like, there’s no going back. So he can date whoever he wants as long as it’s not fucking Shandy. Can we please, please move on?”

Rebecca’s eyes are narrowed but they both acquiesce. “Keeley, what about your love life? I’m sure it’s boring as usual.”

Keeley shrieks and smacks her with a pillow. “Fuck off,” she replies. “I’ll have you know it’s going very well…”

—

You were right. You wake up still on the couch tangled in Keeley’s arms, and the standard toe-wiggle just… doesn’t happen. It’s quiet, the early morning type, the kind where the sunlight isn’t so harsh and birds are chirping softly and all of Richmond hasn’t quite got up to begin their day. 

As you look at your unmoving toes, the first thing you feel is a rush of relief. The waiting’s over, you think. 

You look over to the wheelchair that’s been leaning patiently against the wall all this time. Here’s the first day of forever. You’re in no rush for it to start, so you let Keeley’s little snores and Rebecca’s heavy breathing lull you back to sleep. 

—

It’s definitely a learning curve. And it’s frustrating. And if one more person catches you crying out of sheer rage, you’re going to start throwing things. But like Ted said, you don’t really have a choice. 

Your mom said, “The only way out is through,” then grinned at the murderous glare you shot her way. She opened her phone and pulled up a picture of you, age three. “Same lovely expression as always,” she remarks cheerfully. That cracks your frown. You always were a funny kid. 

It takes a while to figure out how to get places. Keeley (the absolute angel) volunteered, but she’s busy with the PR firm and quite frankly, a little too delicate to help you into a car. You made the mistake of saying this exactly one time and because subject to a rant about how she’s “not weak, just PETITE FOR FUCK’S SAKE!!”

Roy had punctuated her argument with a couple “That’s fucking right, babe"s all while rolling his eyes behind her back. It made you giggle. 

The general consensus was that at any given reasonable hour (or unreasonable if you’re Richard or Bumbercatch) a Greyhound or coach would be able to get you where you’re needed. And today, that place is Nelson Road. 

“How often does Jamie come visit?” Jan Maas asks, straightforward as ever. 

“Um, never,” you reply. “We broke up, remember?”

“Right,” agrees Jan Maas. “We all know that, I just assumed you had gotten back together.”

You laugh. How absurd. “And why on earth would you assume that?”

“Because he talks about you all the time,” comes his prompt reply. 

Huh. That’s interesting. You haven’t received so much as a single emoji from Jamie, but hadn’t thought a thing of it. But this, this is strange. This does not fit into your idea of how broken up people act. 

“Weird,” you say. “Wonder what the fuck that’s about.”

Jan Maas shrugs and moves to lift you from the car. 

—

It’s weird to be at Nelson Road, number one because it’s been FOREVER, number two because you’re eye-level with all sorts of things you’d never noticed before (ahem, part of the wall Roy kicked that no one cared to patch up), and number three because the last time you were here, it was as Jamie Tartt’s girlfriend. 

Jan holds open the door as you roll in, ready to face whatever lies in wait. 

It turns out whatever is a very excited Ted and Beard as well as a neutral Roy who present you a coaching jacket and a whistle. 

“You’re coaching with us today because that little rat bastard Nate went to the dark side,” Beard says. 

You remark, “Tell us how you really feel,” earning a snort from Roy and a chuckle from Trent Crimm. 

“Oh yeah,” Ted says, “this is Trent. He’s writing a book.”

“Cool,” you say, “but you do know I know jack shit about coaching?”

Beard shrugs. “Neither do we. Worked out pretty well so far.” That earns another snort from Roy. 

“Right,” you say. “Well, I guess I’m up for anything.”

“You mean ‘down,’” says Ted. “Oh I’m sorry, is it too soon?”

“Never,” you reply. “It’s never too soon to make trauma-related puns and this world, it’s either laugh or cry. So fuck it, I’m going to laugh.”

“Fuck yes,” grunts Roy before turning on his heel to yell at the team to GET THE FUCK ON THE PITCH YOU LITTLE PRICKS!

—

You don’t do much except sit there and watch as the coaches yell and point and run drills. It’s a chore to remind yourself not to check out Jamie’s butt as he runs by so you start thinking not yours, not yours, like a mental mantra. 

He’s not looking at you so you won’t look at him and you’re sure it won’t be a problem because there are so many people to look at and talk to, except lunch rolls around (haha) and you sit at the head of a table and Jamie’s on the bench right next to you. So. There goes the no eye-contact plan. 

You take exactly two bites of your sandwich before thinking fuck this and pushing yourself back so you can roll away. You can just take the elevator to see Becca. 

You’ve made it a good way down the hall when you hear Jamie calling your name while saying, “Wait,” so you move a little faster. 

But it’s still new and you’re painfully reminded that arms are not legs so he catches you with ease. 

 “The fuck are you running away for?” he asks, and you want to point out that technically, you weren’t running. Metaphorically though, he’d be right. 

“I’m not running,” you reply. “I was just going to see Rebecca.”

“Bullshit,” he says. “I know you, and that was running. Is it because of me?”

“No,” you say, and you realize how much you’ve been looking up today. Your fucking neck needs a break so you rub it and look straight ahead, past Jamie at a life-size decal of O’Brien on the opposite wall. 

“Why would I be running away from you? You’re not- I’m the shitty ex in this situation. I’m the one who fucked things up, Jamie, so… you don’t have to like, pretend that it’s your problem. I actually think it would be better if you were just mad and avoided me instead of whatever the hell is currently happening.”

Jamie rubs his jaw. He should be exasperated, he should, but instead the gears in his mind are turning. A few words stick out to him and then it’s like the final puzzle piece has clicked into place. 

“Hang on,” he says slowly. “Hold the fuck up. Did you mess things up on purpose?”

The moment the words are out of his mouth he wants to take them back and apologize, because there’s no way they’re actually true, except you have a look on your face that can only be described as guilty. 

“Fuuckkk,” Jamie breathes out and you hurriedly interject, “It wasn’t intentional! At least, not at first. It started because I was irritable because I hurt a lot, and then I convinced myself that I was faking it so I got mad at myself for being a little liar. And then I couldn’t sleep because I hurt so bad and everything was making me uncomfortable so I started snapping at you. I noticed it pretty quick so I figured I’d get the pain checked out and sorted because I didn’t think pulled muscles were supposed to last this long. And it turned out that it wasn’t a pulled muscle but some of my disks were all weird, and then one day in between physical therapy and the chiropractor, I fell on my back and jostled everything wrong and it fucking popped.”

Jamie thinks he knows exactly when that was. He remembers you saying something about falling while walking to your car after work and him asking if you needed ice. It was at the tail end of things, and he’d taken your stiffness figuratively as opposed to literally. Like, you were acting all cold because you hated him, not because you couldn’t move. 

“So,” you continue, “I just leaned into it. I mean, Dr. Hadley was only one of my doctors, but she’s the one who told me I- you know, could end up like this. She said if things popped and it got into my spinal cord or fluid or whatever and they couldn’t get it out, it was only a matter of time before it messed everything up. They only way to stop it at that point would be to not move so either way, I end up stuck.” 

You half-sob, half-laugh. “I didn’t know how to tell you and I could tell you were already annoyed with me so I just decided to let it happen. You’re better off without me, anyway. I hate asking for help and I hate when people give me empathetic looks or what-fucking-ever, and I was going to have to ask you for a lot of help. You don’t even fucking have time for that, Jamie.”

Jamie is at a loss for words, and you’ve run out of things to say. 

You stare at each other in the hallway by the elevator, breathing heavily. You’ve both triggered each other’s fight-or-flight response, and it seems you’re both down for a fight.

“Right,” Jamie says finally, “ok, yeah, ok. You didn’t tell me because you didn’t want me to have to deal with this?”

You nod. 

“Right,” he says again. “That’s fucked up.”

You don’t respond and he looks at you closely. “You know that’s fucked up, yeah?”

You shrug. 

“Jesus, babe.” Jamie runs his hands through his hair. He’s going to have to fix his headbands. “Alright,” he says yet again, “look. Dr. Sharon and me- we talk. And, you’re supposed to be able to talk to people about shit like this. Like, me playing football isn’t supposed to mean I don’t have time for the people I love. And if you’re feeling that way or if you’re hurting, you have to tell me so I don’t think you’re being all pissed off because you hate me. That’s the whole point of love, babe. You take care of each other’s shit.”

“Jamie, I can’t get places easily anymore. I can’t drive and I can’t go up steps. I will never be able to storm the pitch to kiss you or walk with you in Brazil. I get mad really easily because everything’s so fucking frustrating and I just want to punch something.” You shake your head. “You don’t deserve any of that. You need someone who can be there for you and isn’t a total pill to be around.”

“Are you fucking trying to push me away?” he asks.

“Yes!” you exclaim. “Obviously!”

“Well fucking don’t. You almost had me the first time, but good luck getting rid of me now.”

“Fine!”

“Fine!”

“For fuck’s sake, just kiss,” groans Will, walking by with an armful of laundry. 

“Fuck off, William!” you both say in unison and then Jamie’s on one knee, eye-level with you and brushing a thumb across your chin. 

“Fucking hell, love,” he breathes. “You have to remember that you can talk to me, yeah? Just promise you’ll remember.”

You nod, unable to speak. 

“Good,” he says. “We’re giving this another go. And if you can’t kiss me on the pitch, might as well do it here, yeah?”

[deathmetalunicorn1]

Have you read Percy Jackson? Of so could you do Straw Hats x 12 year old Daughter of PJO! Zeus? Thank you for your time BTW

I have only read the first book so far, so please forgive me if this isn’t written correctly.

-You had been having fun, wind surfing when a gust gave you a boost that you had easily underestimated, easily taking off with you, pulling you far from shore, farther than you were used to.

-Luckily a ship had seen you catching your big air and when they saw you panicking, they were quick to pull up beside you and you were stunned when Luffy shot his arm down, stretching it like rubber, and fished you and your board out.

-You were a lot younger than they first believed, being a young teenager as Chopper and Nami both scolded you, checking you out for any wounds as you looked a little sheepish, “Thanks for saving me- I wasn’t anticipating getting blown out to sea.”

-Franky just ruffled your hair affectionately, “IT’s okay- you caught some SUPER air out there!!” you beamed, feeling proud of yourself as you stood.

-Robin then spoke, “Do you always wind surf alone?” you shook your head, “No I’ve got others- I’m just the most advanced so I can go out farther. My friends are all on the beach doing their own activities for camp.”

-Luffy looked like a big kid, “Camp? What kind of camp?” you puffed out your chest a little bit, “Demi-god camp! We’re all here to enjoy the fresh sea air!”

-Robin lifted a hand to her lips, a soft hum leaving her, “I think I’ve heard about that. Camp Half Blood, right?” you beamed up at her, nodding, “Yup- we all came here as it’s safer compared to our world, and our parents can still contact us if the need us.”

-As the ship started towards the shore, to drop you off, Zoro spoke up, “Why is your old world more dangerous?” you scratched the back of your head, looking a bit embarrassed, “Not too many like us demi-gods, like other gods who don’t have any kids. Take me for example, Hera hates me because I’m the kid of Zeus, product of yet another affair. Hera’s tried to kill me I want to say… four times now.”

-Eyes were bulged, hearing this, Jinbei knew of the gods, who could travel between worlds, which made sense of why you were able to as well, and he knew of Zeus and his escapades.

-Once back on shore the other members of the camp were excited to meet some actual pirates of this world, ones that wouldn’t attack them, as they were all willing to spend time with you and the other kids.

-Chopper was quite popular with the girls who gushed on how cute he was, while Franky had gotten the attention of most of the boys for being a robot.

-You helped Sanji prepare the massive barbeque, to celebrate new friends between you, your friends, and the Straw Hats, and he taught you some techniques when grilling meat.

-The Straw Hats stayed for a few days, offering to teach the kids new things, like Zoro taught them how to use swords in a more effective way, Robin taught them about history and Nami with geography, and Usopp loved teaching the archery class, finding it fun and easy.

-You were sitting beside Luffy and Brook, swinging your legs back and forth, enjoying seeing all of your friends having so much fun as Brook spoke up, “I got to meet Athena earlier, she’s quite the woman yohoho- she almost attacked me when I asked to see her panties.”

-You winced lightly for him, “Yeah it’s lucky you survived- Athena can be intimidating.” Luffy grinned, wanting to meet your parent and you laughed awkwardly, “Yeah… Zeus has so many kids, he probably doesn’t know I exist. He doesn’t really care about us kids- just getting laid.”

-Luffy leaned his head on top of yours, surprising you as he grinned, “We can always come back when you’re older, you can join my crew!”

-Your eyes were like stars, glittering so brightly, “REALLY?!” you cheered loudly, making Luffy laugh as he promised to come back to get you and you promised to get even better at your wind surfing so you wouldn’t need to be rescued again, making the two of them laugh loudly as you all celebrated the future.

[sibylsleaves]

some things fall when they're meant to fall

25k | rated T | read on ao3 | COMPLETE Eddie’s gaze drop to Buck’s lips—pink, like his birthmark. Eddie wants to taste those lips, and he wants it with a fierceness so sudden it shocks him. “I’m, uh,” Buck stammers. “Last night. When you saw me and Tommy…we—we were on a date.” Everything inside Eddie goes still. If his heart is a kite, then this is the moment it plummets back to earth.

or, Buck tells Eddie some news. Eddie breaks up with his girlfriend. Not necessarily in that order. written for @burnthatbridge

Eddie collapses down on the sofa, propping his ankle up on the coffee table. It’s pretty much completely healed by now, but it still twinges a bit when he’s been on his feet all day. Marisol drops onto the couch next to him and kicks off her heels.

“Man, that was such a funny coincidence, seeing Buck and Tommy at Pizzana,” he says.

She hums noncommittally. “It’s a pretty popular spot, isn’t it?”

Eddie wouldn’t really know—Buck’s the one who picks the restaurant when they go out, always excited to try whatever new place he saw on instagram or the Los Angeles food subreddit. Now that he thinks about, Buck is definitely the one who first mentioned Pizzana to Eddie, so maybe it wasn’t such a coincidence.

“Well, I’m glad he and Tommy are hanging out. I knew they’d hit it off if Buck just gave him a chance.” It had been a surprise to see them out together, but a good surprise. After the basketball incident, Tommy had told Eddie he wanted to clear the air with Buck, and it seems the air was successfully cleared.

They’d been done with their dinner, but Eddie had convinced the two of them to stay for another drink while he and Marisol waited for their own pizza. It had been fun—he likes Tommy a lot, and now that Buck’s let his guard down he can see he likes the guy, too.

It kinda reminded him of how Buck was when he first met Eddie—territorial, at first, but then once Eddie had proved he wouldn’t be so easily put-off by Buck’s barking he’d sort of…melted. That was the only word Eddie could think of to describe it, the way he’d smiled and just opened up, like a dog rolling over to show his soft belly, blushing pink as a flower unfurling into full bloom.

Anyway, it would’ve been a nice night, with the four of them—and on the surface, it had been. They’d laughed and joked and recounted the entire hurricane rescue for Marisol. But something had felt…off with Buck. It had been bothering Eddie all night. Not quite the same way things had felt off with him before the basketball incident. Something else. He’d been…nervous, almost? Eddie had been thrilled to run into them, but for a minute when his gaze landed on Buck, Buck had looked…guilty, almost.

He had no reason to be. He’d already apologized to Eddie for the whole thing, and Eddie had reassured him and gently chided him for not just telling him he was feeling left out, and they’d been fine since then. More than fine. They had plans to take Chris to his surf lesson tomorrow, for god’s sake.

“Eddie,” Marisol prods gently. “What are you thinking about?”

Eddie turns to her, his easy-going smile already in place. Her own smile flickers and he knows he’s made a mistake.

They’ve been talking about this, is the thing. A few days ago, she sat him down and told her how it bothers her that Eddie doesn’t—hasn’t—opened up to her. He can’t really deny it. He hadn’t told her much at all about the hurricane rescue until it had come up tonight. He hadn’t told her much about Shannon, or about what Chris had been going through a few weeks ago. He doesn’t know why—he’s not that guy that just bottles up his feelings anymore. He’s not.

So he takes a breath, and he says, “I guess I’m just thinking about Buck.”

(keep reading on ao3)

[goodstories08]

I'm not sure if you're taking requests but if you can it would be really cool to see a luke x male reader where the reader is his tutor and luke if trying to flirt but it's just going over the reader's head

I just thing it'd be really cool

Favorite Boy

Luke Dunphy X Male Reader

“So your here to tutor MY son, am I hearing you right?” Luke’s mom said while leaning over the kitchen island. Her eyebrows scrunched as she tried to process the information. You bit your lip, still a little confused to why Luke of all people asked for Tutoring. “Yes you are mam,” You mumble while looking down into your bag to make sure you had everything. “Please don’t… Just call me Claire.”

The front door slammed shut quickly, followed by Luke’s figure stepping into the kitchen. His head turned downward. “Hey mom I have a friend coming over to tu….” He stopped and looked up at you, his eyes widened. “Oh Um your here, great.” He looked like he was at at a loss for words, his stuttering and constant blinking was kind of cute. You wrapped your fingers around your backpack and pulled it off the chair you sat on. “So y-you wanna go up to my room.”

A grin formed in your face as you squeezed by the nervous boy, stopping before you made your way upstairs. “Lead the way Dunphy.” He nodded before quickly running up the stairs, not before warning you about one of the broken steps though. You followed him to his room, the overpowering smell of fresh Febreze hitting your nose as you took a step through the door. “Does it always smell like Flowers in here?” You giggle while taking a seat at Luke’s desk. “W-why do you like it.” The boy said, eyes pleading for approval, like a tiny sad puppy.

A small smile grew on your face, as your eyes wandered the room you couldn’t help but notice how clean it was. The baby blue curtains across the room lightly blew in the breeze that came through the window. To the left of the window frame was an old bunk bed, and to the right was a large desk. His dresser was wiped clean from any dust that may have been there, and the floors where vacuumed clean.

“Yea it smells nice,” You paused while looking around for a place to sit. “Oh! Sorry you could sit in my chair, I’ll sit on the bed.” He spun the office chair around and quickly fell back into the blue and white stripped covers of his bed. You slowly walked over after leaning your backpack on one of the desk’s legs. “So what’s the first thing you need help with?” His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. In this moment you realized how cute Luke actually was. You had always seen him around in school, but he wasn’t too popular. Yea he had friends, but he definitely wasn’t as well known as you.

You where always considered smart even if you where barley above average, but what really made you known was your relationship with one of your schools best Football players, Dereck Sans. He wound up cheating and after the two of you broke up, most people took your side surprisingly. Even Luke, who made sure you where ok the day after the break up, for some reason.

“English, Im really stuck on my essay,” he finally spoke while reaching into his desk to pulling out a folder of papers and a singular book. “Romeo and Juliet,” you hummed as his eyes traced over your lips. “Have you read it.” You smiled and flipped through the first few pages. “Honestly,” you giggled as he continued to watch you, “I read bits and pieces, but I just wound up watching the movie.” He smiled while you slid the paper from the desk toward yourself. “Do you like romance movies?”

You chewed on your lip, “Yea I guess.” He leaned closer, you quickly looked back to the paper and began to read the questions. His right hand slightly brushed against your, sending butterflies through your stomach. Suddenly the door flung open, two girls stood in the frame watching you with wide eyes. “Hayley! Alex! Get out of my room!” Luke ran toward the door and shut it, the two girls let out a loud sigh. “Ok, fine. We just wanted to meet our future brother-in law.”

Luke blushed like a tomato, thinking that you where going to be disgusted. But to his surprise, you still seemed clueless. “Oh, I didn’t know you had sisters?” Luke slowly sat up, a defeated frown on his face. He slowly walked over to the bed, his head hung low. “Did I say something wrong?” He asked quietly, you looked up from the book and scrunched your eyebrows. “No why?”

He shifted around before looking up at you, his eyes pleading like a puppy. “I didn’t ask you to come here to study.”

“But, wait. You did ask me for help. That’s why I’m here. Sorry, I’m confused.” He stepped up and looked down at you. “I-I like you. I really really like you. And I have for a long time.” Silence overtook the room, the two of you just stood there. He stare into your eyes, and his lips looked perfect. “I get it if you wanna leave.” It seemed like a rock had grown in your stomach. You felt like you couldn’t move, but you pushed through it. You took a step forward, placing your hand on the side of the taller boys face. He is teary eyes traced over your expressions, you pulled his head down and sealed your lips with his.

His lips where warm, everything felt right. Better than any other guy you had ever kissed. You attempted to pull back but the desperate boy tried to hold the kiss. When your lips finally part you where both out of breath. “I like you too, but I think we should take things slow. It’s just my last relationship I…”

“I get it, It’s ok.” He said, a huge smile on his face. You grabbed your bag and walked toward the door. “We’ll, you do have my snap. So text me.” He stepped toward you, his arms wrapping around your waist. “Can’t wait for our next study session.” He mumbled causing you to giggle. “See you then.” He leaned in this time, eyes closed as the two of you shared a passionate kiss.

“Awww,” Haley and Alex said in unison, causing you both to split apart immediately. “Oh my god. Go away!”