#and while i get why he isn't being his same old self with her

[neoslice]

𝐁𝐀𝐁𝐄, 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘'𝐑𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐋𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆.

a.) featuring. gojo satoru, nanami kento & geto suguru

b.) warnings. none, just daddy jjk men (literally fathers).

note. oh em gee, it's honestly been such a long time since i've written on tumblr (kinda nervous). been in a slump lately, i self-published my first book a couple of weeks ago (yay), wanna check it out? my ig's always available @/jomathilda (self-promo sesh). anyways, i hope you guys enjoy this one >__<

𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔

in all honesty, gojo satoru has never dreamt of forming a little family of his own, given the fact that he's the strongest sorcerer. pshh, who's got time for families and serious relationships?

and then you came. every resolve of him came crashing down. gojo would say that it's 'love at first sight', but you never really did fall in love with him until two years later — when he decided to swoon you with his very ugly singing skills, but that was the reason why you fell anyways (and you fell hard) — which led to marriage.

that wasn't all it to his relationship. one thing led to another; it started out as a small talk with you about babies, and then things led for the better. and then, bam. you guys were blessed with a little baby boy named kikoru, initially gojo had told you all about being the best girl dad ever, but when the gender of your baby was revealed, gojo was the most elevated one in the room. honestly, he didn't even care, he just wanted a baby.

and best believe that he's the best boy dad ever.

gojo had decided that his son will love dinosaurs, hence the dinosaur themed nursery, food platter, fork, toys, onesies. and hell, the baby isn't even born yet.

when kikoru was born, gojo cried a lot. three days, maybe. specifically, 72 hours, 30 minutes, and 48 seconds. you counted. he couldn't stop staring at your little one — gojo even set up a small baby cam by the crib (which is in the same room as his, he said in case he needed a boost during his missions).

during day offs, which were pretty much rare to none. gojo spends his days at home, as much as he could.

"look at those strong little legs of yours," gojo coos out softly to kikoru, who kicked his little legs in reply, beaming out a toothless smile and soft giggles, "think you can do a few steps for daddy? just a couple before daddy goes out for his mission."

as if he understood, kikoru planted his little feet on top of the rugged floor, and slowly gojo steadied his body; while keeping his hands by kikoru's sides in case he took a fall. as happy as he is, gojo (tried to) stay calm, gushing out internally as he scoots back to make room, "yes, yes, just like that, one two step, baby."

with wobbly legs, kikoru took two small steps before stumbling into gojo's arms. and gojo bursted out laughing happily, his contagious laughter sending kikoru into fits of giggles, "you walked, you walked to daddy!" he yells out happily, throwing kikoru in the air before catching his small body back.

kikoru squeals out happily, kicking his legs.

"babe, he just walked, he just walked two steps!"

and best believe me that he told ever single one of his students about the two steps kikoru did. very proud boy dad.

𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐎

retiring from the jujutsu world was one of the best choice he has ever made besides marrying you. it's always a dream of his to form a little family far away from danger, and so he did.

"good morning, daddy," you raise your little daughter up as she yawns softly.

your nine month old daughter, akari giggled her heart out at the sight of nanami; her little arms all stretched out towards him. both nanami and you have been trying to get her to take a few steps with baby walkers, at least to stimulate her legs at first.

but akari had shown signs of her beginning steps a couple of times in the past week — so, you've always tried to help her walk when there's a chance to. now, perhaps is the right time.

you gently lowered her to the ground, steadying her on her feet, "okay, baby go on. daddy's just there," you whisper to her ear, letting her take the first step forward; although her body wobbled to the side, you were ready to catch her. flinching slightly with every step she took.

nanami slowly lowered himself to her height, slowly and quietly to avoid surprising his baby girl. with his arms outstretched to her, he sat on the floor, crossing his legs, "just a little more, sweetheart," he encouraged her.

the encouragement made akari grin happily, her arms continuously aiming for him as she took another wobbly step. a proud smile appeared on nanami's face as she stumbled towards him in a rush during the last couple of steps, eventually falling into his lap, thankfully.

he caught her little body, carrying her up to his chest. like a proud father, he smothered her in sloppy kisses all over her little face, muttering out soft praises, "good job, baby. daddy's very proud of you," he whispers, brushing her thin layer of hair back.

all you could do was smile. akari's always been such a daddy's girl anyways (not that you're complaining, they were unseparable).

𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐔

once in a blue moon, geto wished that things could have gone differently. and when the said blue moon came lingering over his mind, he just had to form a little family of his own — it was fleeting, but his love for you was real, and it stayed real until now.

no, he never expected it. and yes, he is also surprised with the turn of events. you were an anchor to him, and he's very thankful with the appearance of you and your little baby girl, asuka.

geto tries his best to be a present father for asuka — which went shit the first few months she was born, geto was barely present. spiraling into negative thoughts on how his baby girl was going to grow up in such a bad environment, especially the things that haven't dawned upon him. he was terribly worried. and so he decided to detach himself from both you and asuka.

he slips inside her nursery every night, taking a look at how his own flesh and blood grew. every day for eight months, she grew without him present most of the time and guilt gnawed inside out. he didn't have the face to show up in front of you, not after the couple of months he decided to disappear off into nothingness.

so, when asuka was awake late at night during one of his drop ins. he was a bit surprised, her doe eyes staring right into his despite the darkness of the room. her lips formed into a big smile at the sight of him, balled fists flailing around.

"you've grown so much," he whispers, taking her into his arms.

geto convinced himself that he shouldn't, he'd only get attached and that would be the worst thing to happen. but, seeing his daughter, he crumbled, looking down into her eyes as she flailed her small little arms around him, gurgling incoherently.

he sat on the floor of the nursery, holding onto the sights of her body. his lips pursed into a thin line as he watches her suckle on her little fists, "no, baby. that's dirty," geto reprimanded her, gently pulling away her hand from her mouth, but asuka whined and he lets out a small chuckle, "alright. just a couple more seconds."

he lets her down gently on the floor and walked to a nearby toy box, rummaging through it to find something for asuka to chew on. it was a yellow colored toy ring that he decided to choose for her, and the moment he turned around, asuka was both on her feet, arms stretched out to him, her little feet wobbling — but her strong resolve to get to him beats her continuous wobbling.

asuka's little gurgles continued as she stumbled to him a couple of times before tumbling onto her face. the toy now long forgotten by him, geto rushed to her, cradling her close to him, "you just walked, you just walked, baby," he repeatedly said to her, his fingertips brushing over her little nose.

asuka's bottom lip juts out as the pain from the fall finally kicks in and a loud sob emits from her throat. geto panics, bouncing her in his arms, "no, no. i'm sorry, baby, i didn't mean to let you fall... daddy's so sorry, pretty girl," he shushed her.

your motherly instincts kicked in the moment her sob reached your ear, even in your sleep, you stumbled up running to the nursery, ready to pound on whatever the hell kept your daughter awake.

"you let go of my daug — suguru?!"

geto looks up, his brows drooping low in worry, "it's me. i didn't mean to — she walked and fell, how do i make her stop crying?" he babbles out almost too quickly for you to comprehend.

"she what?" you mumble out, snatching her from his arms; and asuka calmed down almost immediately.

a lot of explaining happened that night (and apologies). oh, and a lot of baby cam footage replays too... since you missed everything, and were really upset about it.

© neoslice 2025. do not copy, modify, or post anywhere else!

[ckret2]

So a while ago some friends were talking about fans who claim the Same Coin theory is canon. And I made the mistake of saying:

Do you know who also has tons in common with Bill? Mabel. Yet nobody claims Bill reincarnated as Mabel. …wait now I want a "same coin but it's Mabel" AU. Funniest Bill reincarnation option. The all-seeing arsonist is making macaroni glitter art. The omnipotent tyrant is crying because a unicorn called her a bad person.

And then I overthought it for two months.

So—AU where after death, Bill's soul shoots 13 years into the past and reincarnates as Mabel. I'll call it ✨ Sparkly Coin AU ✨

Don't leave yet. Lemme show you why it works. Behold the eerie amount of parallels in their personalities, dialogue, behavior, mannerisms, tastes...

I could have kept going but my attention span ran out. All right, we all on board now? Convinced we could segue from one personality into the other? Great. Now here's why you should be interested: the juicy post-Weirdmageddon angst potential.

As long as a small fringe of the fandom still thinks Weirdmageddon is Mabel's fault, why not amp that up x100 and have some fun with it?

Is everyone sold now? Great. Let's get into the details. I've got 8 more pieces of art under the read more.

So the AU starts the instant Bill dies. Thanks to invoking his deal with the Axolotl—one way to absolve his crime, a different form, a different time—the Axolotl gives him a new shape and shoots him thirteen years into the past. Apparently, the Axolotl thought it would be very funny to stick Bill in the family that defeated him.

Which probably made for a jarring transition.

(It's fine, she's like 10 minutes old, she probably can't even tell who she's looking at. Not being able to tell who she was looking at is what got her into this situation ayyyy)

When Dipper & Mabel come back from Gravity Falls complaining about this triangular jerk Bill, their parents mention that Dipper's name was nearly Bill. See, after they knew they were going to have a boy, one night their mom dreamed about a visitor—some kind of magic pink salamander??—calling her child "BILL." Then at the next sonogram they found out they were having twins, the girl must've been hidden at a weird angle the first time, and they wanted matching names, so they thought, Bill and Bell. But they didn't really like Bell; but eventually they stumbled on Mabel, so to keep the names matching they switched from Bill to Mason. Isn't that the darnedest thing?

(Of course, Mabel and Dipper assume Bill harassed their parents to try to trick them into naming a kid after him. To be a jerk.)

When Bill meets Mabel, he's unaware that she's his future self—Bill's notably bad at doing things like, say, double-checking to see whether he's going to die anytime soon—but like... he can tell something's up.

Naturally, before visiting Gravity Falls, there were echoes of who Mabel used to be—but nothing anyone would be able to identify without context. All her Bill-ish quirks either smoothed out with time (see: how between second grade and fourth grade Mabel went from being the "freak" to the popular girl in class), or else they were accepted by her family as Mabel-ish quirks.

After they meet (and kill) Bill, they have the context to understand some of Mabel's behaviors... and unfortunately, some of Mabel's latent Bill-ness starts surfacing after she's been directly exposed to her prior incarnation.

The part of the Pines family familiar with Bill thinks the worst case scenario is that maybe Bill's survived and is slowly possessing Mabel; but far more likely, they think this is just some weird way of trying to subconsciously process last summer. Mabel doesn't think she's being weird, you guys are being weird, stop giving her weird looks. They get attacked by one triangle and now she can't wear yellow or pick up macrame as a hobby??

(It's not all red flags and uncomfortable triangle imagery, though. When Stan asks her what she'd like as a gift for some important event, she shyly admits that she thinks she's starting to outgrow her plastic gem jewelry and maybe she's old enough to get her first piece of real gold jewelry, if that's not too expensive? And Stan's never been so proud of her. Thirteen years old and already thinking about buying gold!)

But of course, the real fun starts when Mabel finds out.

That's the face of a girl who's just discovered that she tortured her great uncle. Now imagine running into the brother she possessed.

But I've already spent a million words and thirteen images on this post. If enough folks are interested in the AU maybe I'll expand on it later. Let me know what y'all think.

[hollowistheworld]

There are already so many delicious meta posts on everyone's specific thoughts on what's going on in Illario's head, but I am jumping in myself because he and Lucanis are making me CRAZY

I think that soooo much of his jealousy is that he and Lucanis get treated as a binary. Damn near every time Lucanis talks about something he is or isn't good at, he brings up how Illario is the opposite. It isn't just that they're constantly being compared (already something that's going to be super damaging to both of them and their relationship) but there's such a strong sense that they're not allowed to overlap.

Like, Lucanis is better at physical combat? Okay, so Illario is bad at it. It doesn't matter that he's still very good, that's he's good enough to still be a living, working Crow at the ripe old age of 30+, as a member of the First Talon's family no less. It doesn't matter that he's good enough to drop down from the ceiling (when and how did you get up there???) and kill Zara before anyone can register he's there. It doesn't matter that he's still a significant boss, even once you factor out the Venatori. He's worse than Lucanis, so Lucanis is the 'good' assassin and Illario is the 'bad' one.

In the reverse, Lucanis's self-esteem about his social skills is in the DIRT. He is CONSTANTLY bringing up how Illario is the people person. Even when, in the same breath, he says Illario only ever had relationships with people he didn't like and they never lasted, he's still saying Illario is better at it. And because Illario is better with people, he's 'good' at it, and Lucanis is 'bad' at it.

In any discussion with or about Lucanis and Illario there is, apparently, zero overlap in their skill sets. Despite the fact that that's very obviously not true. But they've been set against each other so thoroughly that they don't even realize it. Because presumably Caterina started training them and they had a knack for some skills more than others and rather than encouraging them to teach other or partner up to boost each other's strengths, she was most likely going "Look, Illario, your cousin did that move so much better than you, be more like that," and "Lucanis, Illario perfected this ages ago, it is not that hard to convince someone you're harmless" and all they got was that one of them was the assassin and one of them was the conman and never the two shall meet.

And Caterina, of course, heavily favors Lucanis. And I imagine there's a million reasons why - starting with the fact that it sounds like his mother was the last favorite. (And how can Illario compete with that? He'll never be the son of the favorite.) But I think a big reason is Lucanis's skill set. Maybe he's the most like her. Maybe she thinks if he's good in combat, he won't die like all the others did. Has she just written Illario off as a lost cause, certain to get himself killed? Not consciously, I'm sure, but subconsciously? Easy to imagine. Easy for Illario to feel that way, whether it's true or not.

And then!! He's being babysat! This idea that Lucanis is the one who can fight (and therefore Illario cannot) has taken hold so deeply that Lucanis feels like he has to look out for Illario, has to protect him, and of course that's bundled up in the 'we're all we have left' but when you're suffocating under the weight of your cousin being a mother hen that feels much less sympathetic. And when you're a 30+ assassin it's gonna feel pretty aggravating if everyone acts like you need your cousin to help you tie your shoes in the morning.

And I don't think either of them realize this. Introspection is not a Crow skill. All Illario knows is he can't be a good assassin while Lucanis is alive, because only one of them can be a good assassin. And that built and built and I think the opportunity to have Lucanis killed crossed his path, and he - Well, despite what Caterina might think, he is a very good Crow. So he took the opportunity. And then he couldn't go back.

And what does he have, under this binary? At least the good fighter, the good assassin, can have a talent for other athletic work, a passion for knives. At least the favorite can find another hobby without feeling grandmother breathing down his neck, asking why he's learning a new skill when he hasn't even mastered the important one. What's under a conman, a grifter, a politician? Sure, he can make people like him, but he can he ever connect with them enough to like them back? Does he know who he is? Would he know where to begin to try and find out?

I'd argue that - whether he knows it or not - is the biggest reason he tried to have Lucanis killed. He doesn't know who he is other than Caterina's least favorite grandson, Lucanis's cousin. He doesn't know how to find out.

[pollyanna-nana]

Louie isn’t evil.

Or: what Pikmin 4 tells us about his character.

BIG WARNING FOR PIKMIN 4 SPOILERS! (and the rest of the series)

———

I want to preface this by saying that I am in no way trying to be the end-all, be-all of character interpretations, but Pikmin 4 to me, at least, confirms the suspicions I’ve had since playing Pikmin 2 and 3 all those years ago that Louie ISN’T secretly evil, or possessed, or whatever else. He’s just… Louie. And I think that’s interesting in and of itself.

1. Olimar himself vouches for him, and clearly doesn’t think he’s a bad person.

Say what you will, but I’m inclined to think Olimar is a decent judge of character. Clearly he’s worked with Louie for enough time to see that while he’s not very good at his job, he’s not intentionally so— at least not in a malevolent way (will get more into this later). He also wants you to forgive him for Olimar’s sake, which can be read as self-sacrificing (as Olimar is known to be) but I also think hints at the soft spot he has for Louie.

It's also worth noting that he states during a end-of-day conversation that he told Louie that, since he's a new employee, he should do everything Olimar does... including throw castaways into the onion. Interesting that Louie took this so literally, but it does provide an explanation for why he kidnapped the Koppaites beyond "he's evil and crazy".

2. He really, REALLY loves his grandma.

Like, wow. He talks about her SO MUCH both in his Piklopedia entries and also elsewhere in the game. It's interesting. Worth noting is that he never mentions any other family members- unlike Olimar, who talks about his wife and each of his children independently. I've said this before, but the content of a lot of these entries implies to me that Louie was mainly raised by his grandma, likely since birth. And given some of her emails in Pikmin 2, assuming they're also canon to Pikmin 4's timeline... Well, Louie certainly had an interesting upbringing. But he clearly loves her all the same.

3. He has a mischievous streak and tends to do things on impulse.

This was already fairly obvious from the previous games, but I think it's worth noting that this game confirms that he's... would immature be the right word? In any regard, he doesn't seem to see himself as a "grown-up"- when in all likelihood he is. Personally, as a 22-year-old, I find that pretty relatable as I often think of myself as younger when in reality I am by all definitions an adult. This, along with his grandma still being around, makes it pretty much certain that Louie is a lot younger than Olimar and the president, likely in his early to mid twenties. Being a bit of a goofball isn't really out of the ordinary, all things considered.

THAT BEING SAID, he's clearly capable of practicing self-restraint when he wants to. What he says here about the red Pikmin is pretty significant, since we know he's willing to eat just about anything- but clearly he has some reservations about creatures that are friendly and helpful. Which leads to...

4. He loves dogs and fluffy things.

Same. But he doesn't even consider eating Moss, Oatchi or the Ancient Sirehound, showing that his creature-eating habits stop at things he recognizes as useful. He clearly also holds affection for things that are soft and fuzzy, and says as much.

5. He is so autism.

He plays with fidget toys. He loves certain textures and sounds. This guy is stimming all over PNF-404!!! I think this also lends some explanation for why his behavior is what it is- things like taking Olimar's suggestion to do as he does super literally even after crashing on an alien planet, his hyperfixation on cooking and tendency not to communicate and incorrectly interpret situations (thinking the Koppaites are kidnappers in 3, running away from you in 4). He could even be low or no empathy as well, explaining why it takes a hot minute to get him to understand why people are upset with him about something.

Interestingly this game also makes it clear that Louie wants to live on the planet, or at least thought he did while you were chasing him down, which makes a lot of sense when you consider that he doesn't really seem to fit in back on Hocotate. I, too, wish to run away to an alien world with all of the things that I like and no other people, so I get you, Louie.

6. He hates his boss and his job, and the golden pikpik carrot incident was likely premeditated.

This probably looks bad, but honestly? As a fellow work-hating anti-capitalist schmuck I get it. The president is for all intents and purposes a huge asshole, from sending Olimar straight back to the planet after selling his ship to not caring that Louie got left behind, just wanting to find the rest of the treasures. I doubt he is very kind to his employees, and doesn't seem very good at running the business. Definitely a funny character, but if he were my boss I would absolutely want to punt him into the sun.

From some other entries he clearly wants to sell certain things to accrue money, but it's for things like getting better kitchen tools and following his dream to have his own cooking show. Clearly being a freight driver isn't what Louie actually wants to do with his life, and he could not give less of a shit about what happens to the company. Very short-sighted on his part, but also again, yeah I get you Louie.

7. He... doesn't like the color red for some reason.

Honestly, I'm not even really sure what to make of this. Is it because it reminds him of the Hocotate ship? Or does he just not like the color? Would be very interesting considering that it's Olimar's signature color. Perhaps that's at least part of why he attacks you in Pikmin 2- though that's speculation for another day.

Also funny to me is his comments on the black-colored treasures. We know blue is his favorite color, but I guess he's also a bit of a goth at heart. Lol.

In conclusion.

I think Louie isn't written or intended to be evil, and Pikmin 4's portrayal of him was intentionally written to confirm this. He's just, as some have said, an agent of chaos, but that doesn't make him a bad person. Just an autistic 20-something working a shitty job he doesn't care about, who loves his grandma and has a mischievous streak and a hyperfixation on food. At least from what I can interpret, ymmv!

[nogoodsheepstealing-greatgrandma]

HOTD with book ages vs show casting

It's interesting to think about how fans perceptions of characters would be radically different if we had book accurate casting.

Emily Carey (aged 18-19 here) is perfectly age-accurate to play an 18-year-old Alicent.

Meanwhile Paddy Considine, at 48, was pushing it a fair bit to play a 29-year-old Viserys.

For reference, Tom Glynn-Carney was 28 while filming Season 2.

So not that he's my fancast for young Paddy or anything, but let's be real. You would all be writing self-insertxVizzy fics. Alicent would have no more agency in the marriage if Viserys was his book age than his show age, but fan perceptions of Viserys would definitely be different if he was played by a young and attractive actor (no offense of course to Paddy, he is serving Targaryen realness etc.)

Or look at Fabian Frankel. He would have been around 27/28 while filming season 1. You were shipping Alicole back when Emily Carey was still in the role, after all.

And then there's Rhaenyra, who was 8 during the events of the first episode, and 9 when Viserys married Alicent.

Milly Alcock, roughly 21 here, is just a tad older than 8-year-old Rhaenyra.

Amelie Child-Villiers would have been 12-13 while filming Rings of Power, so older than Rhaenyra at the very beginning but can pass for younger.

To anyone who thinks a child Rhaenyra wouldn't have been interesting to follow, er... have you read ASOIAF? There are quite a few prominent child POV characters, you may have noticed. And Alicent doesn't automatically become uninteresting if she's 18 rather than 15... or 40.

I mean I get it, Rhaenycent shippers, you prefer the sapphic dynamic in HOTD... and it is absolutely fine to prefer something! But it isn't inherently deeper or more interesting. It isn't objectively better. BFFesbians can be just as one-note as you claim step-mother/daughter relationships are with the wrong writing, and step-mother/daughter relationships can be richly complicated.

Now, I've already gone through the absolute horror that is book Rhaenyra and book Criston

Criston Cole was 22 when he met a 7-year-old Rhaenyra, 23 during the events of the first episode. So Fabian at 27 (pictured here) is a a few years older, but his age gap with Amelie is the same as Criston and Rhaenyra. And yikes. This is why 'Criston the Dad who Stepped Up' posts make me throw up in my mouth. (Also it is so weird that Criston is never recast after the time jump even though the actor is younger than Emma D'Arcy - Criston is 47 during the Dance).

And yes, Daemon has a similar age gap with Rhaenyra

Daemon was 24 during the events of the first episode. Though I would add that Daemon wasn't, contrary to popular opinion by greens, grooming Rhaenyra when she was a young child. There isn't really any indication that he paid particular attention to his 8-year-old niece - he was mostly sulking on Dragonstone in a relationship with an adult Mysaria for starters, and then he was off in the Stepstones till Viserys and Alicent's 5th wedding anniversary tourney.

From then, no I'm not in favour of a 30-year-old Daemon and a 15-year-old Rhaenyra... I am not in favour of childbrideros. But considering he'd been absent from her life between the ages of 8-15, and there is no indication he ever paid any attention to her before then... it is less creepy than Criston Cole being Rhaenyra's shadow from the age of 7, with rumours of a sexual relationship beginning at a point when she would have been 12-14.

By Westeros standards Daemon unfortunately falls into the 'culturally normalised and could have a whole lot worse' category (and tbf, considering the popularity of ships like SanSan...). This isn't a pro-daemyra or anti-daemyra post, I'm not really going to go into their relationship or whether or not it's healthy here, just clarifying that Daemon isn't the Humbert Humbert of this story - that would be Criston (not being Humbert Humbert of course is a very low bar).

And when it comes to the casting and how that impacts audience perceptions... Matt Smith at 39 was too old for both 24 and 30 year-old Daemon (though exquisite in the role of course).

Considering how his haters condemn Daemon for his actions in episode 1 while excusing Aegon for rape and Aemond for murdering Luke (and burning alive many many other children)... Let's have a look at an age-appropriate actor for 24-year-old Daemon and see if that changes anything.

Ooh would you look at that, Ewan Mitchell at 24 while filming S1.

Or Tom at 28 during S2, just two years younger than 30-year-old Daemon. With a face that wins hearts over rape. You telling me if Daemon was his book age you wouldn't be excusing his actions? You wouldn't be taking all the rape apology arguments Aegon stans use and applying them to Daemon's seduction of a 15-year-old Rhaenyra?

Especially if you still had him acting alongside 21-year-old Milly, who was supposed to pass for a 14 to 18-year-old Rhaenyra.

Hopefully though no one would be excusing a younger Daemon played by Tom Glynn-Carney if he had been put against an actual 14/15 year-old like Evie Allen. Who would have been a more age-accurate (and disturbing) casting for Rhaenyra...

Oh wait, how old was Maddie Evans (Dyana) while filming S1 again? 15? Never mind.

Casting teenagers in such scenarios is of course a difficult business - above all the first priority is to protect underage actors. Milly was well-suited to convincingly play Rhaenyra from early teens to late teens, and it's impossible to constantly re-cast for absolute age-accuracy across the time jumps. But it does impact perception - while the first priority is to protect underage actors, the casting of older actors to play teenagers does contribute to society's perceptions of teenage girls in particular as mature adults, rather than children.

Meanwhile the attractiveness of adult male actors - and the younger they are - does indeed shape what some audiences are willing to forgive or excuse. Reactions to Daemon and Viserys by fans (especially green fans) would be radically different if they were cast with their book ages - sorry to say it greens, but your objections to their characters is in large part due to the fact that you are not attracted to DILFS (or leprosy!). And even if we still aged up Rhaenyra like the show does when she first met Criston Cole, reactions to him during the Dance would be vastly different if he was played by a book-accurate 47-year-old. Again, Fabian Frankel is younger than Emma D'arcy.

Of course, the bar for age accurate casting is clear in the way we were supposed to accept Olivia Cooke playing Tom Glynn Carney's mother (they are two years apart).

Because again if Alicent had been 18 at the start of the show and 41 at the start of the dance she would have ceased to be an interesting character or something I guess. Because no one wants an older woman (ew gross!) as the series co-lead alongside a non-binary lead. And because mother/stepdaughter relationships are inherently one-note while BFFesbians are inherently rich, deep and complex... apparently. It has nothing to do with, you know, the writing quality.

Final Round!!! Aegon and Aemond picking fights with kids

Harvey Sadler here is 8/9 years old when he played young Lucerys. Which makes this baby face 2-3 years older than... a six-year-old Book Jacaerys when 10-year-old Aemond was 'pummelling him savagely'.

So yeah, "3 against 1" - the oldest of those 3 being younger than Harvey Sadler. And honestly, 6-year-old Jace has my undying respect for the sheer balls on him to go up against a bigger kid twice his age and size. Does he care that Aemond has just claimed the largest dragon in the world? No, he pushed over his baby brother!

"But it's more interesting if Aemond and Jace are peers" Maybe. If HOTD gave Jace equal screentime and character development perhaps. But they didn't. Any value added by making the antagonist interesting and sympathetic is cancelled out if the cost is ignoring the protagonist or making the protagonist boring (especially in a family civil war drama!).

"But sympathetic Aemond is much more interesting" I am not arguing against making him sympathetic. He is still a kid here, and he still has Aegon to bully him and earn him pity points and trigger a cycle of bullying as he takes out his grievances on others who don't deserve it etc. You don't need to age up his victims or remove sympathy or screentime from them. Sympathy doesn't have to be zero-sum.

Leo Hart was 13 at the time of filming, so the perfect age to play a 12-year-old Jace during the dinner scene where a grown-ass Aegon picks a fight with him over asking Helaena for a dance. Also an accurate age to play a 13-year-old Luke when Aemond murders him.

Elliot Grihault who played teenaged Luke was meanwhile actually closer in age to Book Jace during the dance than Harry Collett (no offence Harry, you still made a more believable teenager than 24-year-old Jon Snow did).

And lest we forget Aegon's true nemesis... 13 year old girls on tiny dragons 'no bigger than a horse'. No offence to a 24-year-old Bethany Antonia, but Shani Smethurst at 12 was perfectly cast to play Baela during the Dance and absolutely would have been the next Arya if this show didn't hate black girls.

But hey, at least we got adult Baela saying "I am blood and fire" while the script struggles (*cough doesn't bother) to find her anything to really do. That sure is an improvement over book Baela acting out, causing chaos, kissing kitchen boys and crying to save them from punishment, grieving alone on dragonstone after the gullet, trying desperately to get the adults around her to believe her suspicions about Grey Ghost, wrecking Aegon on her tiny dragon, being forced to grow up quickly under captivity and fiercely defending her rescuers from execution.

[laswells-ashtray]

The fun thing about taking a childcare course in college is that now I'm going to tell you the 141's key features of attachment when they were children/toddlers and you can't stop me.

If you've seen any of my Price-posting then you know I think his parental situation consisted of a dead mother and a drunk father who was heavy handed with a belt, this stands.

John's key feature of attachment when he was just a little toddler was safe haven, returning to dad when he was upset even if the man had drunk himself into unconsciousness. But the lack of conscious interaction did nothing to soothe his distress or anxieties, so in the long run, it resulted in an ignorance towards the man's actions. John couldn't tell you if he entered or left a room because he became so apathetic to his presence and he became reliant on himself for comfort and protection that in his adult years it's why trying to explain his discomfort or anxieties to someone else makes his skin crawl. It's also why he so often acts as a base of security for the other men, spending years self-soothing leads him to try and soothe others the way he never was.

Kyle was without a doubt proximity maintenance, didn't matter if it was Mum or Dad. He wouldn't need to be clinging to them but if his Mum was in the living room and then moved to the kitchen then he carry his blocks through to the kitchen table so he could play while she was near. If Dad was out in the garden fixing up his older brother's bike then Kyle had his toy cars and was playing with them on the steps just a few feet away.

He didn't need their attention at every second but he needed the comfort of knowing they were nearby. He has a great relationship with both of his parents, on the worst of days he'll go home and sit in the kitchen while his mother cooks and they'll talk. She doesn't want his help because God, if he isn't fucking useless with anything other than a pot noodle but she'll let him sit there for as long as he needs and they'll just chat about whatever.

Simon's was secure base. If little toddler Simon Riley was exploring a new environment then he needed Mum somewhere in the general vicinity so he could return back to her every 10 minutes or so to stop the experience from becoming overwhelming.

Only, we all know what his childhood was like. And my perception of it is that his mother's mind was elsewhere, her priority was ensuring Simon didn't do anything to anger his father. So, it resulted in almost a disinterest, the less she cares about what the little one is babbling on about then the less likely he is to get enthusiastic and subsequently loud, which would upset his dad. And the lack of interest or comfort she provided led to Simon approaching new environments with an uncharacteristic disinterest for a child of his age, he wouldn't explore or participate in any of the same sensory seeking activities as other children his age. He'd just sit there on his own and glance around with a blank look. In later years he'd struggle to form good relationships with people because of his perceived disinterest, he'd never be enthusiastic about anything. Eventually, he'd learn how to express himself in a way that doesn't make him embarrassed but also can't be mistaken as a lack of care.

Johnny is without a doubt separation distress. Take him away from his Mammy and see what fucking happens. If Mrs MacTavish is cooking then he's standing by her side and holding on to the edge of her cardigan. And when she realises she's three seconds away from tripping over him then he's sitting on the counter and her cardigan is draped over his shoulders as he babbles away at her.

He has a good relationship with his dad too, mind you. His dad never took it personally but Mr MacTavish knows that when Johnny Boy comes home after being away for months, he's heading straight to his Mum to give her a hug. He keeps one of her old scarves at the bottom of his bag and switches it out whenever he goes home not because he can't live without it but he sleeps a little easier knowing that it's there. If there's anyone in his life whose opinion he cares about it's Mum, if he's going to get a new tattoo then he'll ask her opinion on it first and if she has suggestions then you bet your arse that he's adjusting it accordingly. He can go months without talking to her but no force on earth can stop him from being a Mammy's boy.

[synchodai]

Yes, Gale is simultaneously overly proud and insecure because of his past with Mystra, but not because she "groomed" him or anything like that.

He believes he's the best at magic because the goddess of magic chose him — in the same way someone derives all their confidence from being with their partner. "Well, this super awesome person loves me, so I must be the shit."

But that kind of mindset isn't really confidence in your abilities as much as it is codependency on someone's approval to give you value. Unless someone learns to see themselves as inherently valuable, no amount if external validation will ever be enough. If they're not secure within, there will always be insecurity and precarity. They will always be looking for more and more and more reassurance that the external foundation they've built their self-worth on (in this case, their partner's love) is secure.

That's why Gale made the mistake of trying to retrieve the Karsite weave for Mystra — because he wanted more of her approval. He wanted security that he was indeed the best at magic beyond what already being Mystra's lover and Chosen could provide.

Sometimes people are the Gale and sometimes people are the Mystra in relationships. As a Gale, you're constantly looking for more reassurance, going to lengths to do things they never asked for in the attempt to get that hit of their approval. In your mind, wanting to constantly please your partner is devotion. In your mind, worship is love.

As a Mystra, you slowly come to realize your partner doesn't see you as a person as much they do a trophy — an indicator of status. They think you're perfect, so they never think that you might get hurt or have vulnerabilities or be trying to grow and change. They care about pleasing you, but not so much about you.

One day, you'll find they went to your ex's house to steal back an old record you left behind that's attached to some bad memories. He knows you have a record collection, but you told him not to bother with that one. Despite that, he proudly presents it to you while bleeding on the floor after getting into a fight to retrieve it, and says: "I got it back for you. Aren't you proud?"

He says it was for you, but really, you know he did it for himself. The celestial cops are banging at the door. Seeing the record is giving you PTSD flashbacks of a literal near-death experience. You tell him to take that record and leave now. He's heartbroken, but you can't think about that now because you have to sort out the situation with law enforcement.

Anyways, you hear sometime later the record has poisoned him and he has to eat shoes to survive and.... where was I going with this?

[ofekma]

Ralsei and Susie: the burden of fate (part 3)

Ralsei and Susie's friendship development focuses on an interesting thing in chapter 4: fate.

Or more specifically, the prophecy.

As everyone else pointed out before, Ralsei's been acting kinda sus this entire game.

And as it turns out, Susie noticed it too.

She let him be the first few times he kept crucial information from her until the last second, but when she realized he knew that she couldn't see the old man if she opens a new dark fountain or even take him to castle town, she reached her limit..

And just like that, Susie voiced the thoughts of the entire fandom.

It makes sense that this is her breaking point, because she just found out that her mentor and friend was dead and (as far as she knows) she will never see him again. She didn't even get to tell him proper goodbye.

People have been speculating about Ralsei's tendency to hide things for years.

Is he evil? Is he working with Gaster? Could it be that he thinks that everyone knows what he does so he doesn't feel the need to say it? And why doesn't he get petrified like other dark worlds like other darkners?

While we didn't get an answer to some of these questions, we learned something very important about him.

Ralsei isn't some mastermind trying to hide things from the player or his friends for the sake of some grand plan, he's just a kid trying his best to protect his friends from the burden he has to carry.

Ralsei knew everything (kinda) that was going to happen before we even met him. And he seemed to be at peace with it.

He kept talking about fate, destiny and purpose.

It was Kris and Susie's fate to save the worlds, and it was his purpose to serve them.

But Susie, from the very beginning went "nah, that's bullshit."

Ralsei thought that he knew everything that was going to happen, but from their very first interaction, Susie proved him wrong.

Except that back then, it didn't come from strength, but of a lack of self worth.

After a lifetime of being told that she can never be anything more than a trouble maker, Susie immediately rejected Ralsei's words that she can be a hero.

And throughout chapter one, she kept rejecting this role, almost like the classic "refusal of the call" in the hero's journey.

Susie heard that Ralsei expected her to be a hero, and decided to nip it in the bud. Because all she saw was another authority figure that would end up dissapointed in her once she fails to be whatever they wanted her to be.

That's exactly why she refused to solve puzzles before and why she doesn't bother at school.

Susie thought that she isn't smart.

But she IS.

She thought that she wasn't heroic.

But she is.

She just didn't believe that she was so she refused to even try...until she found someone she cared about enough to try for.

By admiring Susie for all the traits others rejected her for, Lancer made Susie want to become a person worthy of this admiration.

And after Susie saw what she was capable of doing, and how rewarding it is, she accepted her role in the prophecy.

But ionically, the more Susie started to accept the prophecy, the less Ralsei wanted it to come true.

And the difference in his attitude is due to what in my opinion is in the last line of the prophecy. (Not my own theory, just the best one I saw about it).

Ralsei believed that he wasn't a person, therefore, his initial peace with his final fate makes sense.

But thanks to Kris and especially Susie, he started to believe that he mattered.

Susie learned that she's more than she thought she was, and applied the same principle to Ralsei.

And this made him less and less willing to accept his end.

Both for his sake as he found out that he liked living, and for Susie's, who clearly sees him as an equal and as a friend and wouldn't be able to handle his death, especially by her hand.

But he didn't believe that anything they'd do would make a difference, especially at the church world where the prophecy remained unchanged no matter what route the player took.

And saying it, acknowledging it, gives it weight. Makes it more real, makes it harder to deny.

And makes the burden Ralsei sees as his alone fall on the shoulders of the ones he cares about, too.

So even though he promised to be more honest, his resolve to keep the ending of the prophecy to himself was stronger than ever.

But of course, we all know how that went.

Ralsei was so scared of this moment, of the pain it'd inflict on her, of the despair and hopelessness that would replace the shining hope he saw in his friend.

But just like so many times before, Susie kept surprising him.

Just like in the beginning of chapter one, Susie rejected the prophecy, but this time it wasn't because she thought that she wasn't good enough, but because she believed in herself and her own strength.

Susie's resolve, her determination and her hope....it even got someone as fatalistic as Ralsei to believe that things can be different.

But the saddest part is, that despite the nonchalant attitude she displayed around Ralsei, Susie isn't very sure in her words.

But at the moment Ralsei ran to her, all apologetic and scared and worried, Susie knew what he needed to hear.

So she took a page out of his own book.

And now they switched part, with Ralsei being hopeful, and Susie resolving to take upon herself the burden of fate.

[esmedelacroix]

08 - Hurt People²

synopsis ! he’s an american football player by day and a passionate mathematician by night . she’s a well-rounded historian and writer who couldn’t evaluate a derivative to save her life . they lived in two different worlds but shared the same study room .

previous chapter | series masterlist

cw ! no use of y/n, y/n is _____, fluff, slow burn, college au, ooc sukuna, f!reader, child abuse/neglect, alcohol, angst, brief mention of self-harm, depressive tendencies, suggestive, explicit mentions of smut

fic radio ! I Didn't Change My Number by Billie Eilish

Out of spite and because there was literally no work to be done, you took Gojo up on his offer to attend his game and the after-party. You wore your best pair of jean shorts and a bikini top. Over it, you put on one of Toji's jerseys that Gojo stole for you. Everyone wore jerseys with the players' names on them. But that was merchandise that could be bought. There was a difference between the merch that could be purchased and the actual jerseys. They got new jerseys in their junior year, so you were wearing his old one that was considered vintage.

Suguru entered your room as you did your finishing touches on your makeup. “You’re doing a little more than usual tonight. Making someone jealous?” he hummed as he watched you apply your fragrance to your hot spots.

“Maybe,” you shrugged, as you looked at your reflection.

"But seriously, who does beach party themed functions in fucking fall?" you ask inbetween swipes of mascara.

"Sounds dumb to me, but Pi Alpha Kappa isn't known for brains. They just lie and pick their themes solely on how much skin they're going to see from the girls," Suguru shrugged.

Little did he know, the reason their average GPA was strangely high(3.0) was not because they paid or lied, it was because of Sukuna. And his big annoying fucking brain. A smart guy like him calling you a bitch when your grades were sipping was probably completely justified. He was the one doing better than anyone incluidng you in math, and soon he would be better than you in your own specialty.

You had to hurt him, though. You couldn't just let him name-call you to other frat brothers behind your back scott free. After being called a bitch so much for simplycaring about your grades and your future, you couldn't let this slide. You needed revenge, and you knew just how to get it. The dream plan would be to get with his best friend, Toji. Though you had never done anything of the sort, your only real obstacle was his ex-girlfriend, Delilah. You didn't blame him for going back to her; she was a stunner. You just had to pray that they were broken up for the eighth time this month.

The game, to no one's surprise, went very well. Sukuna played very intensely and got an odd amount of contact for a quarterback. You were sitting in the best seats in the house again, thanks to Gojo, meaning that you could see the sidelines and they could see you. Sukuna stared again when he saw you, but this one was different. He looked a bit irritated. Guess he really doesn't like me. Then why did he pretend? Toji also saw your jersey. You didn't exactly plan ahead on how you would respond to his reaction, but to your luck, he just smirked and shook his head, exchanging some words with Gojo while they drank from their Gatorade bottles.

After the game, you, Suguru, and Shoko hung out before heading to the party because why would you be on time for a frat party? When the three of you got to the house, you had already changed your top, and Todo's eyes were on you immediately. "Woah, you look good. All this for Toji and not the nation's best linebacker?" grinned, stepping aside to let you in.

"What are you on about?" you asked.

"You wore his jersey to the game. School gossip page took a photo. Said you were making a public statement. Delilah's pissed. She's probably getting tag teamed at Wang's," he gossiped.

You rolled your eyes, walked in, mentally thanking Todo for the information. You had the best chance to piss Sukuna off and you were going to seize it and take on your final bitch form.

You stepped into the kitchen after seeing who was around and spotted Sukuna with a solo cup in hand in the corner, surprisingly out of his room. You turned away when the two of you made eye contact. You drained whatever drink Suguru passed you before walking around to find Toji. "Who you lookin' for?" you heard a deep, gravely voice ask in a sing-singy tone in your ear. You whipped around to see none other than Toji towering over you with a confident smirk.

"No one," you smiled.

"Ryo?" he guessed.

"Nope."

"Me?" he hummed, pointing to himself with a little smile.

"Maybe," you smiled.

"What 'r you playin' at, firecracker?" he grinned, getting so close to your face you could feel his breath fanning on you. You looked up at him with your best doe eyes and lied, "If you’re talking about the jersey, it was all Satoru could find.”

“Bullshit, that narcissistic freak has too many of his own. You could have worn one of his. But you wore mine,” he chuckled, “You’re trying to get back at Ryo, huh?”

“Maybe.”

“Is it cause he called you a bitch?” he laughed.

“God fuck, I forgot you tell each other everything,” he cursed rolling your eyes.

“Well, I don’t really care. You’re hot. Im hot. We both have people to piss off,” he shrugged.

He grabbed your hand and led you through the crowd. The usual rotation of frat party songs were playing, but the song switched to some sexy rnb tune. Toji’s large hands wrapped around your waist as he started swaying in time with you. His mouth found your flushed ears and whispered, “You look cute with your little bikini on.”

You grinded against him, and you felt Toji’s hips roll into yours. You had only heard stories of how dirty he was when he danced, and now you were experiencing it. Meanwhile, Sukuna stared daggers into his best friend’s back, he knew Toji could feel. Maybe I deserve this for being such a fucking asswipe, Sukuna thought.

He hated how much of his dad he was seeing in himself. Sukuna called a classmate a bitch in his second year of hisghschol. The english teacher that took a part in changing his life taught him about what it really meant to call a women a bitch. Since then, he had never done it. Until now. He was like his father. Rude to women, terrible with his emotions, and a coward.

So though he stood in the corner pretending to give a fuck about what Choso was saying, too ashamed and nervous, there was nothing he could do about the fact that he lost you before he could have you the way he wanted. And his best friend was a fucking jackass.

You received his notebook with the notes and shit, so why were you doing this? You were taking his apology and throwing it away. So he did the only reasonable thing he could do. He struck up a conversation with that random girl he wasn't interested in to hurt you back. He was almost sure that the two of you shared some brief kind of connection, but he was so painfully wrong, seeing that you were currently dry humping his best friend on the dance floor.

Now he was on the dance floor with a different girl, but he was staring at you the whole time. The girl's eyes followed his, looking at you, and she knew that no matter how well she acted, he wasn't here for her tonight. He wasn't picking up the lonely girl who yearned for him, glued to the party walls. He was here for you. The girl who wore his friend's jersey to the game. The girl who was now dancing with Toji Fushiguro like she'd wake up in his bed the next morning.

When you and Toji spun around together, his warm hands that rested on your waist ventured lower, giving you a squeeze. "Looks like we've given him a show," he whispered in your ear looking directly into Sukuna's eyes, smirking.

"Then our job here is done," you replied in his ear, turning to face him. You nodded to him with a smile taking his hand and bringing him outside to the pool. People were making out poolside and chugging kegs. No one was actually in the pool at the pool party hence the fucking insane weather and could've sworn you saw people fucking behind a bush. Let's just say, they weren't fully concealed by the bush, and you were seeing cheeks for days.

Toji led you to a vacant table, offering you a beer from the cooler. You put up your hand to stop him. "I've had enough."

"Enough of what? The alcohol? The party? Me? Pretending this is what you want to be doing right now?" Toji asked.

"Just," sigh, "Everything. I don't know ... not to sound super depressing but I don't even know why I'm here. I should be studying right now and I'm no longer number one. That sucks," you admitted.

"You study all the damn time though," he chuckled.

"Well, it's obviously not enough because I'm not doing well."

"No, you're doing even more than well. There's just nobody out there doing weller than you," he said.

"Better," you smiled. He hummed in question.

"Better. People do better not weller," you corrected on instinct, to which he laughed.

"You do too much," he commented.

"Well apparently Im not doing enough."

"Have you ever thought that you were maybe doing too much, and that's what's sabotaging you?" he suggested.

"Um, no? The person who studies the most always does weller than the one that studies less thats how it works," you lectured.

"Better," Toji smirked.

"What?"

"You meant better. And I think it would be weller for your happiness and your math grade, if you talked to Sukuna," he advised.

"Why should I talk to him? I might be too bitchy for him," you said sourly.

"Okay now you're really being a bitch 'cause your lil' friends didn't let him into your room which he predicted so he wrote an apology on the last page of the notebook, that was pretty damn thoughtful and he doesn't do shit liek taht ever," he sighed.

"I'm sorry what? There was an apolgy?" you questioned.

"Yeah ... he said he put it in the back because he knows that you don't have yer conversions and shit memorized so you flip to the back of the notebook a whole lot," he shrugged.

You shoulders slumped, mouth fell slightly open, and eyes softened. "He did that?"

Toji took in your almost guilty and lovestruck expression and smiled to himself. "Yeah, Ryo did that," he almost whispered.

"I need to go," you suddenly said, standing up. You were about to rush to your dorm from the backyard when you felt Toji's large hand envelop your wrist. "Hold on, it's fuckin' freezing and you're wearin' a bikini top. Take this," he said, offering his Carhartt to you. You thankfully grabbed it. Immediately putting it on

"Also, you should probably go out through the front door. You don't really have the frat eye, but there's more than just that one couple getting down and dirty over there. It's like a game of whack-a-mole," he chuckled, shoving his hands in his pockets. The music got louder as you stepped back into the house. You walk through the party with Toji's hand protectively hovering behind your back. He led you to the front door and bid you farewell. "I would walk you home, but I can't risk being seen by Delilah. She's at the house over. But you're a big girl, you can handle yourself," he smiled, waving.

You walked with purpose, planning on marching right to your door and ripping that notebook open and consuming his words. The ones you thought never received. You should have looked. You should have just accepted the help when you first got it instead of being bitter.

Meanwhile, Toji closed the door behind him, and he was met with Sukuna right away. "She may be a big girl," sukuna air quoted, "And be able to handle herslef, but you don't let a woman walk home alone at fucking night during pary you weekend just 'cause you wat to save face and not adress the fact that Delilah doesn't love you but you still love her and she's hurt you so much that you like it and you can't stop fucking going back. You goddamn idiot," Sukuna spat.

So sure, he projected a little bit, but Toji needed to hear it. He grabbed his almost identical Carhartt coat from the coat rack and rushed out the door, leaving Toji with his heavy feelings that had just been thrown at his face raw. You didn't realize that you were being followed to your dorm, of course, you didn't. This is why Sukuna had to do this. Who knew what kind of people you could be lurking at this hour? He watched you walk into your building and just stared at the door, hoping that maybe you would come down because you somehow forgot something and would see him there waiting for you.

You never walk out. But you sat in your room. Picked up the notebook you discarded. Flipped through the carefully crafted notes. He got all the way to module five. You smiled at the spaces he left because he knew you liked to doodle while reading. You then flipped to the last page. Your eyes flickered to the foreign, familiar conversion and equation table, then to "the apology." It wasn't long. All it read was:

I'm sorry about the bitch thing. I didn't want people associating you with me. I'm a mess and a broke fatherless loser who's only god qualities are football, brains, and my dad's face. I don't want your perfect, caefully crafted reputation tarnished 'cause every one secretly knows I'm a fuck up and just assumes I'm dumb as fuck. I'm sorry I was trying to protect you, but maybe I should've gone about that better. Can you forgive me? P.S. I need help with my essay.

You chuckled at the last part, staring over the careful writing. You tidied up your hair on a new high. You would text him later, you thought to yourself as you got on your online database and opened up the notebook to the first page and started studying.

. . .

-> next part

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[baphometsss]

Solas and sexual trauma

(TW for sexual abuse)

I did a post forever ago where I questioned what Solas might have meant by 'it has been a long time' in the romance dialogue in DAI. I won't get into the entire post but basically I was wondering if he meant 'it has been a long time since I had a body' as much as or instead of 'it has been a long time since I was intimate with someone'

Given what we know about Mythal's influence on Solas, and the fact that he was her advisor, and that there are plenty of parallels with Leliana and Justinia, it's safe to assume that he also served as her spy. He has been directing his people to spy and steal and lie etc since before DAI. He's able to avoid Leliana's people for a decade, because he has so much more experience than her and knows how she works.

I'm reminded of Flemythal instructing Morrigan to sleep with men for power and influence, while doing it herself (exposing her very young daughter to sexual situations, which is abuse). I think this is a strong indicator of why Mythal married Elgar'nan and later the Alamarri chieftain. She isn't above using her body to gain influence, and I daresay she instructed Solas to do the same when necessary, like she instructed Morrigan to do years later. 'Use kindness where possible and cunning where necessary...' As we know from the romance with Solas, he is quite a private person. As flirtatious as he is with a romanced Inquisitor, this isn't a side that he readily shows off. Even Varric is surprised by his erotica collection in the Lighthouse, and he's known Solas for some time by that point. My point is, despite his cunning, Solas is not in Illario's league when it comes to seducing the enemy, but I don't doubt it was required of him when he served Mythal.

(Sidenote--She groomed Morrigan to sleep with the Warden in DAO so that when she eventually took that child--Kieran's--body she would have access to the old God soul inside him, thus regaining her immortality. I'm kind of pissed off that this plot line was basically sidelined because it would've been super interesting and would've offered more depth to both her character and the dynamics she had with Solas and other ancient elves.)

In any case, I think this is why it's important to me that Solas and Lavellan don't sleep together in DAI. That his 'I would not lay with you under false pretences' literally means that he would not have tainted their relationship with that same kind of abuse when he cared for them so much, when they are so removed from everything he did to himself and others at Mythal's bidding. It would've been too triggering for him and he wouldn't have forgiven himself. That's why the sex scene was going to happen after Crestwood, where he planned to come clean and tell them the truth, because only by being truthful about his identity and plans would it be crystal clear that he was not sleeping with them for influence or power. This is not a decision that he would've made for no reason. How many times did Solas seduce people at Mythal's behest? How did it hurt him? How did it feed into his own feelings of shame, humiliation and self-hate? How badly must he have wanted to keep his first true love safe from all that?

For context, this kind of behaviour is called rape by proxy and involves one person coercing another to sexually abuse someone else. It quite often happens to children, but it can happen to adults under duress and who are being manipulated, like Solas and Mythal and Flemethyal and Morrigan, the latter of whom is canonically groomed and exploited from childhood. You might think this is extreme, but we have plenty of evidence through Morrigan's experience that Mythal was absolutely not above perpetrating sexual abuse. We also know that she had slaves, which is inherently abusive, but that's already been discussed. The point is, Mythal's abuse is canon. There's no room for debate there.

Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but there's a lot of things about Solas that make me think his experience with Mythal was something of a blueprint for Morrigan's abuse. As for why... well, there's a lot of reasons, but you need to have a bit of understanding of the psychology of abuse survivors to understand.

There's this thing that happens when you survive this kind of abuse that affects you in terms of identity and relationships. Whether we like it or not, our relationships are heavily characterised by how we see ourselves. If we look at it through the attachment theory lens it becomes even more complicated. Solas himself says that he didn't have many friends that weren't spirits, and he says in Veilguard that it took him a very long time to gain the support of other members of the rebellion. He is such a lonely person, so it doesn't surprise me at all that he's so attached to his friends in the Inquisition, nor that he elevates their importance so highly, if the music room in the Lighthouse is anything to go by. It's unsurprising because these relationships are characterised by his authenticity as the person he wants to be, which is something he had distanced himself from considerably in order to carry out the work he was tasked with.

It's so important to his character that he has this experience. First he realises that there is more to life than being a tool for your Goddess as he did when he began the rebellion, then with the Inquisition he discovers that people can love him for who he is and not because of what he can do for them. It's also important because essentially, if you're raised in an environment where you are taught, either directly or indirectly, that you exist for someone else's use--to receive their abuse, whether that's sexual, emotional or physical--you never learn how to be a person that exists outside of that role. This is pretty much exactly what Mythal does to Solas and others. The end result is that when you eventually escape -- either by finding independence as an adult or simply leaving the abusive environment, like Solas did when he rebelled -- suddenly you have no idea how to function in the adult world, because you simply have not been primed for it. You've never had any kind of autonomy because even your body isn't your own. You don't trust yourself, because you've been taught to distrust your own judgement to better rationalise the abuse. You don't trust others because you're used to being betrayed and hurt, so you avoid relationships or engage in them in an emotionally detached way. Sex becomes transactional because you believe it's the only thing you have to offer (like Morrigan and Zevran), or you develop an aversion to it altogether because it's too triggering (Fenris). You're more likely to end up in abusive relationships because you simply don't know any other way to relate other than as a victim. Strong people, people with power, make you feel protected, even when those strong people turn out to be abusive too.

So while Solas was never really a child, he was very much like one when he first took a body--we only have to look at Cole and the way Solas guides him to see this vulnerability in action. It's in this state that he was sent into war and formed his first bonds with other people as an elf and not as a spirit. To be completely fair to Mythal, I think that she and Solas and the rest of the Evanuris were trauma bonded by this experience, as many soldiers are by war and political terror. Their survival was being threatened, even if it was kind of their own fault in the first place. The key feature here that Solas and other newly manifested spirits do share with children is vulnerability. Mythal wasn't called the all-mother just because she was married to Elgar'nan. She was guiding them into personhood and shaping them into weapons and tools she could use, as she did later with Morrigan. We are repeatedly told that the way the Evanuris are remembered is very inaccurate and doesn't fully explore how evil they truly were. Mythal is no exception to this just because Solas says she was the best of them; that bar is on the floor.

The other thing you need to bear in mind is that Mythal is portrayed as being considerably more powerful than Solas when she was alive. She was able to go toe-to-toe with Elgar'nan, whom Solas is shown to be defeated by multiple times in his memories, which is why she was able to force him to share power. Mythal defeated Andruil after three days of fighting when she became a monster in 'armour made of the void', which left her no choice. This power exists in her largely because she was willing to do things for power that Solas was not (like binding a dragon to her will), so she always had that over him. If she did not love him in her own twisted way, I don't doubt that she would've killed him long before he became such a headache for her, as Elgar'nan would've no doubt told her to do. So there is a very clear power imbalance here and it characterises their entire relationship.

When you look at the romance or friendship through this lens, it makes Solas's inability to commit to the life he wanted make so much more sense. The Inquisition was the first time in his life that his relationships weren't abusive and twisted. Where he didn't have to assume a mantle like Fen'harel that didn't fit him. He was able to exist outside of these abusive dynamics for the very first time. For survivors of abuse, that's like trying to learn an entirely new language, an entirely new way of relating, and it's extremely difficult not to fall into those abusive dynamics and roles in some way. People literally spend years in therapy trying to learn how to do this. Falling in love with the Inquisitor and/or having healthy relationships for the first time was a learning curve too steep even for him, even with the best will in the world.

I'm also really struck by Trick Weekes' characterisation of Solas as someone who doesn't think he deserves happiness. Whether or not this is factually true is not what I'm interested in; I'm interested in this statement because it is more or less classic abuse survivor behaviour. While there are definitely exceptions, many survivors cannot separate the humiliation and shame they feel from their core identity, and thus sabotage many of their relationships because they don't think they deserve it. That is exactly what is going on with Solas running away from the Inquisitor, even as he leaves clues for them to follow, because he does want to be saved deep down. Of course he does.

Finally I'm gonna leave this quote from Trauma and Recovery by Judith Herman here. It's a good book that I'd highly recommend for anyone interested in learning about abuse and the psychology of trauma. It's not a perfect book because it was written in 1992 but it is still a ground-breaking work on the subject. It's also highly triggering so watch out for that.

Many abused children cling to the hope that growing up will bring escape and freedom. But the personality formed in the environment of coercive control is not well adapted to adult life. The survivor is left with fundamental problems in basic trust, autonomy, and initiative. She approaches the task of early adulthood――establishing independence and intimacy――burdened by major impairments in self-care, in cognition and in memory, in identity, and in the capacity to form stable relationships. She is still a prisoner of her childhood; attempting to create a new life, she reencounters the trauma.

[seasidefallenangel]

part-time soulmate, full-time problem

lying about a boyfriend isn't that bad - right?

notes: nagi seishiro x reader, strangers to ?, first meeting gone wrong, reader is kind of a disaster

i asked @wttcsms if i could write a fic about her concept months ago and am finally getting my ass on it.

you didn’t come to this party with the intent to lie. not really.

it’s just that giving the same speech about “focusing on yourself” and “not being in the right mindset” to date gets old, and oftentimes leads people to believe you either have some sort of narcissism thing going on or some deep-seeded interpersonal issues that nobody wants to put up with. 

whether or not one of the options is correct is a discussion you’ll have with your bedroom mirror late at night.

you honestly just came here as your friends plus one so she could make a few posts promoting the clothes she got sent in pr last week. you were fully aware there were some celebrities or something here, you just couldn’t tell them apart from the average schmucks like yourself. 

regardless, you had subtly tried to slide both of those common excuses into your current conversation with whoever this no-name is. he has made it sound like he was some sort of hotshot in the marketing business but when all you did was return his self-induced hype with a blank stare, he opted for flirting with his natural charm - or, lack thereof, really.

your friends had mastered the art of the irish goodbye by this point and would be more than willing to use it in this situation. while you normally would consider it a bit rude to do so, you really wished you had taken pointers from them so you could escape your current predicament without making it obvious you were trying to kill the man in front of you with your mind. 

evidently though, he thought it was going well by the way he reaches for his phone and tells you about ‘his contacts within the industry.’ he was either going to try to impress you with a bunch of people he supposedly knew and that you most certainly did not, or ask for your number. both sounded exhausting to you.

“ - and that newest adidas spread has my name in the credits, you know? i hadn’t worked with any soccer players before, but they’re not as great as they claim to be.”

bingo.

“soccer!” you tell him with a bit too much excitement in your voice, internally wincing at how fake you sound. “my boyfriend’s a big soccer guy, you know? just can’t get enough of the stuff. soccer this, soccer that. you know how it is.” the man - kenta? kaito? - must not be able to read your awkward laughter at the mildly shaky lie by the way his face drops. rather than dejected though, he seems to be a bit competitive. maybe he assumes this ‘boyfriend’ of yours is a terrible player, or at least one who doesn’t make it onto the field that often, and decides that you having one at all isn’t good enough to completely deter him.

“what’s his name?” he asks a bit condescendingly, and you can’t tell if you should be offended or not that he might not think you could pull one of the better players. why even flirt with you if he finds you mid at best?

you rack your brain trying to come up with something believable enough. there’s not a single soccer player you know off the top of your head other than like, messi, which would not only make you a liar, but a really shitty one at that. coming up with a name on the fly seems impossible, so you work with history and land on that one character you had an irrational crush on many years ago - seijuro.

… which seems a bit too specific so instead you settle on, “sei. his name is sei.”

your previously overconfident companion’s face drains of color as he takes a step back. he clears his throat and puts his hand up, letting out a small laugh of disbelief - “seishiro? you’re dating seishiro? you’re joking, right?”

sounds good enough to you. “that’s the one! love of my life, you know? he’s a real sweetheart, but doesn’t really like it when i’m overly casual with other men, so…” you trail off, hoping that the insanely obvious hint finally reaches him for the first time tonight. your prayers are answered as he slowly nods before turning and departing completely, sparing you of an awkward goodbye or any more desperate attempts at getting you to sleep with him. you can’t help the sigh of relief that leaves when once you’re finally free and able to leave this party without guilt. 

although… whoever made the dorayaki put their whole chest into it, so it’d be disrespectful for you not to take a few home as a sign of gratitude for their hard work.

obviously.

after a quick glance to make sure kotaro, kantaro, kiyoshi isn’t by the dessert table, you carefully slide past other party goers to grab one. the first bite is all the reassurance you need that this was totally the right decision, until you feel the tap on your shoulder.

turning around with a glare that could paralyze, you thought it was that nuisance coming back for round two. instead, you’re met with a black-fabric covered chest and glance up to meet the owner of said chest. his brown eyes stare you down a bit unnervingly, looking almost empty if not for the slightest bit of confusion circling them. he looks almost familiar but you can’t quite place your finger on it. there’s a long silence as you raise your eyebrow. he’s the one that came to you after all, so clearly he must need something from you. “are you going around this party telling people we’re dating?” 

you nearly choke on the remnants of bean paste in your mouth. dating? why the hell would this guy even begin to think that you’d -

oh.

oh no.

through the last few crumbs lodged in your throat, you muster up the courage to ask him, “what’s your name?”

he seems to deflate even more at that, as if merely speaking is some sort of herculean task that he can’t be bothered to partake in. you think he’s about to just give up and walk away before he says with a sigh, “nagi seishiro.”

shit.

[dranosh-haran-of-paleoworld]

Hey there! If you're still doing asks, I have a question

what you think is the reason Sasuke is hated widely while Itachi is a beloved character? He is considered the best brother in anime when looking at the canon all I see is this guy ruining his little brother's life by torturing and abusing him mentally and physically. He even told Sasuke to kill his best friend to get power that made Sasuke afraid of even making any bonds. He even said to sasuke he was worthless to kill so Sasuke saw love and connections as a weakness. He tortured Sasuke when he was 7, when he was 12, also in their final battle. After the truth reveal, Sasuke is ready to make the whole world his enemy for Itachi. He tries to understand him; he again sees him as the same way the kid him saw his older brother; he even calls him perfect. This just shows how much of a better brother Sasuke was compared to Itachi. But this Naruto fandom will tell you that Sasuke doesn't deserve a good brother like Itachi and blame him for not acting according to Itachi's fascist village wishes. What the actual fuck?

And Sasuke is considered a genocidal maniac psychopath, even without doing any genocide. While Itachi, the actual genocidal maniac psychopath who killed innocent children and women and literal babies and who even abused his little brother's life in the name of protecting him, is considered the best brother and hero. Is it the narrative problem or the fandom's? Like the narrative really is white-knighting Itachi after the truth reveal. If Itachi stabbed a child 50 times, his cult will tell you how much it hurts Itachi-sama to stab the child 50 times instead of the pain of the child getting stabbed. That's how much Kishimoto wanked his character. It's like he wanted everyone to like Itachi's character, at the same time he demonizes Sasuke the genocide victim a lot throughout the series.

Even Studio Pierrot was clearly wanking Itachi by making that OVA where he was making eggs for Sasuke so people perceive him as "look the best bro Itachi taking care of Sasuke" when the canon says otherwise. And do you remember Tsunade's Infinite Tsukuyomi filler arc? The character assassination Sasuke got in was terrible. Again, Sasuke would never turn a jerk if the massacre didn't happened. Even in canon where the massacre happened, he still was the kindest selfless kid compared to Naruto who was constantly bullying him and annoying him for jealousy and Sakura who were constantly harassing him over her stupid selfish crush while Sasuke was ready to sacrifice his life for those kids. In that filler also there was the usual Itachi glaze. It's like the studio wanted Sasuke to be perceived in a certain way while making Itachi a saint.

Is this Itachi glorification and Sasuke slander tied to Naruto and Sakura self-inserts? I've seen plenty of meme posts of Itachi torturing Sasuke by pinning him in the wall and the comments were always like Sasuke deserved to getting tortured for being emo and for being a jerk to Naruto and for rejecting Sakura etc.... If they are referring to Part 1 Sasuke, he was the nicest kid in Team 7 so why are they adamant in humbling a 12-year-old kid? And people were crying for Sakura when Sasuke rejected her and left the village and laughing at Sasuke when he gets tortured where he saw his parents getting killed half a million times. How can people have sympathy for Sakura a girl who can't accept rejection but Sasuke, a traumatized genocide victim? And why is this fandom using Itachi to put down Sasuke in moral Olympics when Itachi is a far worse human compared to his little brother who got fucked up by the consequences of Itachi's actions?

This is a mammoth of a question, and one I don't know if I'll be able to properly answer, but in short, it's very much the result of the fandom first and foremost, however, as a quick aside I will admit that Kishimoto isn't completely innocent, the man sure as fuck can write and Naruto as a series is awesome, however, Itachi is definitely one of his biggest shortcomings as a writer because Itachi as a character just ruined everything, and as a someone who's currently pursuing creative writing that's a mistake I don't want to make for myself. But again the fandom is definitely the biggest reason why Itachi's so glorified. Let's get the obvious out of the way first, Itachi glorification, like the glorification of Kakashi, Naruto, Sakura, and Tobirama all have something in common, these characters all in some way are opposite to Sasuke and everything he stands for, by extension his clan.

The main reason why Sasuke is hated and Itachi isn't is bias, especially from the Western fandom. Sasuke's got absurd looks, talents, wealth, and popularity all of which most western viewers desire, envy, and don't have, this is why Naruto and Sakura stans project onto those two because they're just like them, they all want what Sasuke has without the young man himself, just like everyone else wanted the power of the Uchiha Clan without the clan itself. Additionally, Sasuke, as I and others have said before, is very clan-oriented and obedient, everything he does, including his training and growth, is in devotion to his clan and parents. I don't know the specifics, but from what I know Sasuke's very well-liked by the Eastern portion of the Naruto fandom, because his clan-first mentality and mindset, the fact that he puts his clan before himself is why he's liked in the East in stark contrast to Itachi who himself has a very western outlook on life. I mean seriously, Itachi maligns his family and clan, and vigorously worships the state, he quote on quote "put Fugaku in his place" for trying to "control", which a lot of people here in the west relate to, nevermind the fact that Fugaku was doing everything in his power to ensure the survival of his clan and family in the dire times they were in, but these fans like Itachi don't fucking care about that, actually I'm currently working on a post about Fugaku so I'll be expanding him at some point.

Sasuke's refusal to sit back and let the pain and suffering he and his clan went through go is another reason why he's hated, he rightfully can't ignore the fact that his clan was discriminated against, and segregated since the founding of the village, nor the genocide of his clan, nor the pain, suffering, and torture he was put through, as well as the isolation and the village flourishing over his clans graves is all shit he rightfully can't stand. You see, loyalty to the state and individuality are considered paramount for people here in the West, with Western media having this obsession with glorifying war-criminals and war-crimes with this "killing your people made our men cry" bullshit, all in the name of " freedom and democracy!" and all that crap. Western media loves to demonize the victims of state-sanctioned violence who naturally and rightfully lash-out at the state and powers at be that ruined their lives, I mean look at Jet and Hama from Avatar the Last Airbender, and even here in Naruto, Sasuke, Nagato, Obito, the Ame Trio, the Kaguya clan (Kimimaro's clan) and even Neji, all of them are despised for lashing out at what the powers that be did to them, Western media loves saying that true victims accept what happened to them and move on. Sasuke, however, doesn't do that, and this is PRECISELY why Sasuke's hated more than Itachi, it's because anytime he's presented with a scenario in which he's expected to follow the path typical of a shonen rival he instead does the exact opposite, he defies the readers expectations and doesn't bend over for others both in and out of universe. He never acknowledges or validates Naruto or Sakura, he doesn't return the latters creepy, one-sided obsession, nor does he play her games, he chooses his family and clan over those shitheads and the village that screwed them over, he tells constantly to fuck off and leave him the fuck alone, he never forgets or puts aside his clan, and he never forgives the village for what it did to him and his clan.

I will say that the Naruto fandom does some Itachi glorification, as Itachi both validated and acknowledged Naruto, while also treating him "nicely".

I can't say anything about Sakura fandom's glorification of Itachi, as frankly it doesn't make any sense to me as it does to you though, as Itachi never once acknowledged her, much less even looked in her direction, hell the first and only time they potentially interacted was in the Kazekage Retrieval Arc, and even then Itachi felt that Sakura was so beneath him that he didn't even acknowledge her, he acknowledge Kakashi and Naruto, and in the anime even Chiyo, but he said NOTHING to Sakura in that chapter or episode

These are the scans from the manga and they showcase literally the ONLY interaction Sakura and Itachi have, and again Itachi literally doesn't acknowledge her, so I have idea what's Sakura fandoms deal with Itachi, but even then they've always been delusional as hell so no surprise there. I will also however not that it's especially ridiculous that Itachi is seen as a gentleman who knows how to treat women by the fandom when, as you've correctly pointed out, the bastard slaughtered all of the women in his clan, including his own mother who was slowly dying via the Tsukuyomi he cast on her and Fugaku before cutting them both down with his swords like he did with the rest of their clan.

SP has always done its own thing, which is why we have these terrible fillers, so I'm not even going to begin touching that.

But again outside of Western bias and media illiteracy, Sasuke's hated more than Itachi because of self-insertion from the fandom.

I apologize if this doesn't completely answer your initial question or if it's not suitable for you, I will come back and add more to this at some point, but for now this is my answer.

[littlesparklight]

So, right - Helen's regret and her active language in the Iliad is very important to me. She doesn't just regret (the war, the deaths, Paris) but considers herself reprehensible, responsible for the actions she took that led her to Troy.

(And her regret and self-blame are of course certainly important to the Helen of the Iliad, making her presentation a more complex character than it might otherwise have been.)

Now, then - yes, I do lean into all the sources that say she left, because of desire, for Paris. Being the lover, not the beloved, the subject, not the object, for whatever that matters outside of her and Paris.

BUT, too, there is the potential for Helen's desire for kleos being a(nother) reason she left with Paris.

There's one version that attributes the reason for the war to Zeus wishing to give his (only) mortal daughter fame and honour in the only way a woman might, when it comes to war. By being the fought-for "object", worthy of such a struggle because of her divine-like beauty, like the old men on the wall say in the Iliad.

(And while I prefer the cosmic reasons of needing to reduce the population, to end the heroic era, etc, that doesn't preclude other reasons. Zeus can need some way to do those things, and want to give Helen kleos like/as close to as what (some of*) his sons have gotten in their own lifetimes. *We have to consider that many of not just Zeus' sons, but other gods, too, were only names as founders for settlements and cities; there's a comparatively small amount of demigod heroes who get myths about war or quests or travels, etc. All these others would mostly have their kleos in having founded the settlement which carries their name.)

So, here is Helen, then.

A woman, and a married such. She should have no desires but for her wedded husband (regardless of if he does or does not go to other women). Helen isn't "just" a woman with all the social pressures and restrictions that implies.

She's a demigod, too. The only mortal daughter of Zeus, king of the gods.

If demigod sons like Achilles might be outsize in some way, in his desires, why might not Helen be? And why might not Helen wish to strive for kleos, exactly because she is not "just" a mortal woman, but the offspring of a god? But as a woman Helen can't gain kleos in the same way as a man can. pay no attention to the Amazons (And even a man's kleos will come at the price of blood, of death - of others, if he's lucky. Others always have to pay for such fame and honour.)

So Helen desires - Paris, kleos, things she cannot have as a married woman. She takes them (she would have been forced to go either way, but she can act and claim something of her own by not being forced).

And then, too, she regrets. The pain, the suffering, the deaths; is it worth it, in the end? For her, for everyone else, for her divine ancestry and what of her wants that might come from, because of that, driving her towards more than a woman ever "should" let herself have?

Anyway.

Helen and (her potential desire for) kleos.

[calebs-anchor]

Caleb Character Analysis part 1: The Ever Experiments

(This is mostly lifted from a video I posted on tiktok, with some slight changes/clarifications)

The first and most important thing to keep in mind here is that, according to his anecdote 'Pathless Realm', Caleb has suffered from dissociative amnesia throughout his life. I'm obviously not a psychologist, but based on some light research this basically seems to mean that he has mentally blocked out a lot of the traumatic memories of what happened during the experiments, so while he is definitely aware of them he doesn't remember exactly what happened.

This isn't the same as MC, who loses all or most of her memories every time she is killed and resurrected, but it's worth noting they both have issues with their memories & remembering the details of their trauma, and neither can give us the full picture of what happened in their childhoods.

We can also make note that Caleb was recorded to be 9-10 years old while the experiments were happening. This adds an interesting layer to the fact that Caleb constantly tries to take blows for MC and endures trauma so that she doesn't have to. Throughout all of this he was barely less of a child than MC was, but because he is the slightest bit older (and also because it seems that Josephine often left her under his care growing up while she was working) he sees himself as responsible for her wellbeing. This, in some sense, causes Caleb to see himself as older and more mature than he actually is. He was forced to become a caretaker/guardian figure and take on a lot of adult responsibilities at a very young age, which is why he's also so averse to showing vulnerability like we see in 'Hidden Waves'. He feels that if he can't be the mature, unwavering "pillar of strength" that he thinks MC needs him to be, he is failing to be good enough to protect the person he loves the most.

Now let's get into the actual contents of the experiments. We already know what happened to MC from World Underneath, but for anyone needing a refresher she was used for the Aether Core in her heart and her Resonance Evol, and was repeatedly killed so that the researchers could observe her coming back to life with the intention of using her to unlock the secret to immortality. However, things aren't quite as clear cut for Caleb. The only main sources we have are from his first trailer, which says that "They are the optimal weapon for destroying one another" and a few passages from his anecdote, such as:

"He knows he's always been good at destroying delicate things. The people behind the observation window say that the test subject will become a force comparable to a black hole given time. Not even light could escape it."

From these sources we can gather that Caleb was also used for his Evol with the aim of creating black holes (something we know he is able to do as of 'Homecoming Wings') and that he and MC were made to be able to counter each other, likely as a safeguard. Since they were both extremely powerful, the idea of them being optimal for destroying each other perhaps suggests that they were designed so that if MC's power became too dangerous Caleb could be used to destroy her and vice versa.

We can also gather that Caleb was labelled/labels himself as inherently destructive and dangerous. This seems to have had a long term effect on his self image, as the line from his anecdote establishes that this is something "he knows" and believes to be true, affecting the way that he sees himself especially in comparison to MC. I have a video going slightly more into this on my tiktok page, but essentially Caleb seems to see himself as inherently destructive and bad, while MC is an embodiment of goodness and warmth: the "black hole" that even light can't escape VS the "Unicorn" that brings eternal life. This is potentially why he takes on the role of protecting MC so intensely, as he thinks he deserves the suffering more than she does and is willing to take abuse on her behalf to protect her.

It becomes even more interesting if we consider the religious themes of their storyline with all the references to Adam & Eve, paradise and sin. Caleb views himself as inherently "sinful", just like the original sin described in the Bible that all humans are born with because of Adam & Eve. The only way to cleanse oneself of original sin is to submit to God, the embodiment of goodness and purity, and so Caleb, in a way, submits himself to MC. We have seen how highly he thinks of her, as he frequently describes her as "the best of the best", says that he thinks the world doesn't deserve her, and on multiple occasions comments that he thinks that anything that stands against her shouldn't exist or should disappear.

In short Caleb doesn't just love MC, he reveres her in a way that borders on religious and is willing to devote himself entirely to her service. That's why even from a young age he has taken on the role of protecting & serving MC, giving her almost anything she asks for, doing almost anything she wants, and making sure that no matter what she always feels like she is safe and happy and that he will always be there for her. I think he feels that by doing this, he is atoning for his "original sin" of simply existing as himself. He feels that if he can adequately "serve" MC, if someone as good and pure and warm as her can love or even just approve of him, it can make up for all of his feelings of guilt and sin and destructiveness. She is his salvation.

This is already a lot on his shoulders, but if we go back to the experiments I think there is one more thing at the source of Caleb's guilt, one big example of his destructiveness that serves as the main reason he sees himself the way he does: the Chronorift Catastrophe.

As we've already established, Caleb's Evol is capable of creating black holes/wormholes, so it's not unreasonable to think that he could have been used to open the Deepspace Tunnel (intentionally or not). However this would take a lot of power, more than I think a 9 year old boy would be able to achieve, unless we consider the fact that MC may have used Resonance to boost his power to the necessary level (and likely killing herself in the process). This then is their shared sin, like the sin shared between Adam & Eve when they both bit the apple, and it's one that neither seems to remember due to their respective memory loss issues. If this is the case, it gives us yet another reason for Caleb's inherent feelings of guilt: whether he knows it or not, he was directly responsible for the event that almost destroyed humanity and caused MC, the person he cherishes most, some of her deepest lasting traumas. It's yet another thing he feels the need to make up for by protecting her.

It's also how they both manage to escape the labs before later reuniting at the shelter (although I have seen speculation that the "shelter" actually was the experiment facility and that Caleb is lying to MC about it, but I'm not sure whether I agree with this based on what we've seen). When they do reunite MC doesn't remember who Caleb is, marking just one of many times that he has to reintroduce himself to her. This is another one of the "duties" he takes on for her, promising to always be there to remind her who they both are and swearing to be by her side forever. I think this is another reason that Caleb is so obsessed with having MC by his side: not just because that's what he promised her, but because he's afraid that if he's not there to remind her who he is she might one day forget him forever.

He also chooses never to remind MC of what happened to them during the experiments, or at least what he remembers of it himself. The reasoning of this is obvious, Caleb doesn't want her to be upset or in any way traumatised by it, so if there's a way to let her forget all about it he'll let her. However, I think it's significant that from a young age he chooses to take on this burden by himself for the both of them, as this will become a running them as I cover more of his cards & storylines.

[goldenrulemotherfucker]

Real talk, I came to the Fallout series a total newb, knowing nothing about the lore/games and came away with a new favorite show, easily in my top five. In particular, something it does exceptionally well is narrative payoff. Nothing in this show happens just to happen; every choice the characters make shapes their future arcs. As a SFF writer myself, I'm not only impressed--I'm inspired.

I feel this way about the entire story, but in terms of Lucy and Cooper specifically, we get so many great payoffs from their interactions. When he doesn't share his water, it seems like he's just being a dick until we learn that his canteen is full of dirty water. (Yes, he was still being a dick, but he knew she naively thought he was drinking clean water.) When he forces her to use the knife in the "ass jerky" scene, he's absolutely being cruel, but he's also extremely fatigued to the point of near collapse, which only becomes clear only after she's out of sight at the Super Duper Mart. When he cuts off her finger, it seems like nothing more than him "getting even," when he actually took a much-needed replacement part for his hand (from someone he assumed wouldn't be alive much longer).

These interactions are all brutal, give us new insights into both characters, and also set up a massive payoff in Lucy's "golden rule, motherfucker" moment. Even after everything he put her through and how he treated her as disposable, she does the opposite and shows him empathy and kindness. To put it plainly: Her choice in this scene wouldn't carry half as much weight if he hadn't repeatedly treated her like shit. Coupled with her ability to self-rescue, the scene cements who Lucy is as a person--both for the viewer and for Cooper. (And what happens next? He watches a film clip where his old self looks right at him and delivers the line about a villain being ugly and strong but having no dignity.)

The moment when Lucy gives him the vials could have been enough of a payoff for their arc by itself. But it sets up an even better one: The next time they cross paths, he treats her differently. Having already seen himself in her, and knowing that they both want answers to the same (or very similar) questions, he invites her to accompany him on his journey this time--no longer as a pawn, but as someone he trusts and respects at least a little. As a direct payoff for her memorable act of kindness toward him, this fucking rules. It's surprising while also feeling completely earned. "Golden rule, motherfucker," isn't just a satisfying moment (or my favorite line), it shapes the characters' future.

On Lucy's side, when she decides to follow him, she has no reasons to trust or respect him (yet); she likely just recognizes that he's currently the only person who will lead her to the truth. But she's only met the Ghoul so far, not Cooper Howard. She doesn't know that his primary motivation has been searching for his family this whole time. She doesn't know that she's seen him before, in those old movies she watched at home. She doesn't know why he shot the billboard.

Now, I'm not making predictions about how their future arc will play out (nor am I asking for them), I'm just along for the ride. But I feel confident that there will be many more great payoffs to come now that they've gone from "hostile forced proximity" to "traveling together by choice." I've rarely been so pumped for a second season. <3

[whosmarii]

Said you needed love.

ᯤ Started: 25/01/24.

ᯤ Finished:

Summary:

Tony loves his wife, Pepper. He loves his last daughter, Morgan. And he loves Peter like the son he never had. But you? his first born daughter, he doesn't even know your name.

tw: daddy issues (everything that this entail), no corrections yet.

*reader is fem. slow burn. Peter x reader. Kinda rivals to lovers.

Prologue.

You are a genius, you got that from him. You study from home, a teacher for each subject meticulousy selected by Tony to give you the best clases of the country. Not because he cares for you, but because you have to reach the expectations of the people. Imagine, the daughter of Tony Stark, aka Iron man, being an ordinary person.

You didn't need all the teachers, you were a genius because it was in your genes. That wasn't enought to meet your father expectations tho.

You did everything in your power to get a proud look (or at least a look) from your dad. You have the best grades, you learned two different languages in a time lapse of two months, you read five books of classic literature in three days, you knew how to play seven different instrument plus you knew how to sing, you were a professional ballet dancer, you knew aeronautical and chemical engineering, and the list could go on and on.

Nothing seems to satisfy him.

Sometimes, because Pepper have told him to or because he couldn't escape the situation, he would mumble a "congrats" or "yeah, good" while he kept working on whatever he was working. Not even looking at your direction.

You loved Morgan, she was probably the only person in your house that actually cared for you. And you were happy she didn't have to live the same horrible situation you did. But you couln't help the self-sabotaging feeling of jealousy that warmed you heart every time they were together. You didn't understand. What does she have that i dont? why can't i be enough like she is?

Pepper loves you, she tells you that recurrently. But she never did anything to get Tony to be a proper dad. It isn't her responsability but, she is your mother. She sees you suffer because of him and does nothing.

You live in a house with two adults and a five year old little girl, and the only person that treats you pretty...is the five year old. Therefore you love to spend time with the Avengers, they fill a space in your hearts that should be fill by your father. Especially Bruce, he is so fatherly loving, it warms your heart and put tears of joy in your eyes.

Having Bruce to care for you is so important that if he asks you to have sexual relationships with him you would say yes just to keep having his love. You would have sex with all the avengers man if that meant them loving you.

When you heard Tony tell Pepper about the arrival of a new Avenger of 15 years, your heart stoped. What if she is better than me? What if they love her more than they love me? what if-

Peter. That's the name your father said. It was a male. That was soothing. You usually didn't like boys of your age, but maybe this one was different.

You already know that Tony loves him. The way he talks about Peter is almost shivery. "Peter is a genius, that boy has a future." "He is a good boy. Sweet and all" And that aunt of his... such a display" "The Avengers are going to love him".

Now the soothing feeling is gone and the fear is back.

He sounded good. That was bad.

You can't hate someone good. But you can't like him neither.

He wasn't presented to the Avengers yet. You didn't know how he looked yet. But the boy was already tearing apart the only part of your life that wasn't crumbling.

@whosmarii | Please do not copy, rewrite or translate my work without asking me and reciving my approval first. Thank you!