#and while a lot of other things in this fandom have improved since ten years ago

[yomigaere]

fandom please stop having bad takes about Shiori and Juri challenge (BLOODY IMPOSSIBLE)

[prodigal-explorer]

how to write children's personalities

(this is part of my series, how to write children in fanfiction! feel free to check it out if you want more info like this!)

this is the main aspect of writing children that i see people mess up so often, especially in the fandoms i'm in (sanders sides and undertale). children are not adorable little noodles with no brains and no concept besides being cute and silly and crying. children are beings that are just as complex as adults, and they deserve personalities to match. this will make them way more interesting to read about! let's get started!

since there are so many aspects to personality to talk about and i don't want to sit here typing for ten years, we're going to do this guide a little differently. i'm going to divide these issues into archetypes, write a short description, and then make a list of do's and don't's for each one!

archetype one: the cute little baby

okay. babies are cute. we all know this, and i'm not saying it's a bad thing to make your babies cute. a lot of people love reading about moments with adorable little babies. but here are some ways to step this kind of thing up, and some things to avoid if you want to improve upon writing this archetype.

do's:

give the child character another archetype besides this one. though "cute" is the foundation for a lot of child characters, it's not a personality. and if a character is vital to your story, then it needs a personality. that's just a rule. you will read more about other archetypes further along in this post!

make the moments symbolic. though it doesn't seem like it from an outsider's perspective, basically everything a baby does is for a reason, and every action a baby makes can say something about their personality. if you want this baby's personality to be energetic and curious, have them crawl around and explore things, and laugh a lot, and babble. if you want this baby to be more sullen and shy, have them cry quietly instead of wailing, or have them squirm when being held by new people.

make the actions of the baby's guardians affect the mannerisms of the baby. babies act differently depending on how the people taking care of them act and react. for instance, if the baby's guardians are very busy people, then maybe have the baby cry very loudly whenever they want something, since they know that it's the only way to get the attention of their guardians. stuff like that can add depth to a character and to a general story.

don't's:

decide that the baby is cute and call it a day. sweet little babies are cool and all, but they get very boring to read about after a while. this can barely even be considered an archetype because of how bland it is when it's by itself.

keep this archetype around for too long. as babies turn into toddlers and then children, they don't act even remotely the same way. it's strange and off-putting to read about a seven year old acting like a two-year old, unless it's a very clear character choice that is a result of explicit actions and events.

make the baby know that it's cute. realistically, children don't understand the concept of cuteness until they're around toddler age. if then, you want to make the kid be like "i get what i want when i'm cute, so i'll act cute!", then sure, that's hilarious. but when they're two months old, they're not batting their eyelashes because that's their personality. they're batting their eyelashes because they got something in their eye. the main thing that makes a baby cute is that they don't know they're cute. they're just figuring out how to do ordinary things.

make everything a cute moment. while babies are awesome, raising them isn't always sunshine and rainbows. make the baby do something wildly chaotic, because babies do wildly chaotic things all the time. not only does this make things more realistic, but it makes things very interesting!

archetype two: the shy kid

as a former shy kid, i know good and well that these types of children exist, and they are very real and valid. however, there are certain ways i've seen them written that are just terrible because once again, this archetype cannot be considered a full personality on its own. let's get into the do's and don't's.

do's:

make their shyness a deliberate choice. kids aren't usually naturally shy. kids are usually more curious than cautious. is there a reason why the kid is shy? there doesn't have to be a reason why the kid is shy, but there could be a reason why the child is NOT outgoing/curious. try and give something like this some deliberate cause, instead of just making them shy so they can seem more precious and infantilized.

make their shyness manifest in diverse ways. not all shy kids cling to their guardian's leg and sit alone during recess. there are different ways to be shy. you can be aggressively shy, or fearfully shy, or shy due to general unwillingness to change.

make their shyness have realistic consequences. someone who's shy is probably not going to have many friends, if any. not all shy kids magically meet an extrovert who adopts them. someone who's shy probably has underdeveloped social skills, which can lead to them being less emotionally intelligent down the line. this makes the shy kid archetype a lot more three-dimensional than just a wet noodle of fear.

don't's:

infantilize shyness or treat it like it makes the kid some sweet, precious angel. not only is this very uncomfortable for shy people to read, but it's generally unrealistic. shyness doesn't affect how good or bad somebody is - it's a neutral trait.

use shyness as a tool to make characters seem younger. shyness does not indicate age. fear manifests in many different ways, and shyness is not the only way.

rely on cliches. not all shy people have the same journey, and the idea that a shy person becoming more outgoing is the "goal" is not only a bit offensive, but it's very cliche. shyness is not always an obstacle to be overcome.

archetype three: the happy-go-lucky kid

oftentimes, the reason why children characters are written into stories in the first place is to give a little bit of lightheartedness and innocence. to add a unique voice among all the cranky, stingy, burdened adults. but you have to be careful when writing this archetype. i personally really dislike this archetype as a whole, but i'm going to put personal feelings towards it aside because honestly, there's no valid reason to dislike it besides opinion.

do's:

give the kid a trademark. maybe this kid makes a lot of little jokes, or maybe they always see the best in a situation. give the kid one thing that makes them happy-go-lucky instead of just giving them everything because nobody is endlessly happy all the time in every way.

go deeper. while happiness is very often genuine, sometimes, it's a mask that hides something else. this can be an interesting way to sort of spice up your happy-go-lucky kid character. maybe the kid is hiding a big secret behind all those jokes.

don't's:

make the character always happy. while children tend to have simpler thoughts, they don't have simpler minds. this child needs to have thoughts, real, genuine thoughts that aren't just happy things.

see happy-go-lucky as a trait that is exclusive to children. comparing happiness to childhood and viewing them as the only places where the other can exist is just wrong, and it's kind of depressing. maybe give happy-go-lucky kid a happy-go-lucky adult to exchange jokes with!

---

those are the archetypes that i see a lot. but now, i'm going to suggest a few child character archetypes that i LOVE that i don't see enough in fics! feel free to use any of these that you like. alter them, combine them! these are, in my opinion, some of the most fun child character personalities!

the spoiled brat: "i want this, and that, and that, and- why aren't you giving it to me?? if you don't give me what i want, i'll tell on you!". spoiled brats are so fun to read and write about, especially when they have absolutely no reason to be spoiled given the current situation (think riches to rags). they've got everything, humor, angst, and best of all, lots of pockets for personality. think about why the child is spoiled. were they enabled by their guardians? did they grow up rich, with access to everything they wanted? think about whether you want the child to stay spoiled. does something change? do they learn how to improve their materialistic and selfish tendencies? there are so many opportunities to play with the personality of this child!

the know-it-all kid: while i do see a lot of know-it-all kids in media, oftentimes, they don't actually have personality besides bossiness and intelligence. i love know-it-all kids who have depth to them. kids who are constantly spouting information because of their sheer love to learn. kids who have one specific thing that they know everything about, so they never stop talking about it. kids who tell people what to do and act like they know best because they don't have a lot of control over anything at home, so they grasp at whatever control they can find elsewhere. i think this archetype could open up a lot of ideas for personality further down the line. it also has a lot of variety with humor and angst, and general depth.

the serious child: this is an archetype that i cannot get enough of. i love a child that doesn't think they're an adult, per se, and still enjoys kid things, but just has such a calm and regal air about them that isn't learned. it's just natural. think of the kid that doesn't really get excited about things conventionally, but you can tell they're happy by their faint smile. the kid that seems to live in slow motion, and doesn't mind this fact at all. the kid that sits alone at recess just because other kids scare the birds away, and they want to see how a bird acts when it doesn't think its being watched. i love kids who have poignant thoughts, because their thoughts are so creative and different from adult thoughts.

the adult-ified child: now this is another archetype i can't get enough of, but it's for a different reason. this child, on the other hand, does think that they're an adult for one reason or another. maybe their guardians forced them to grow up too quickly. maybe they just wanted to grow up quickly by themselves. but this child has thoughts that are too big for their little bodies. they explore things that aren't meant to be explored when their brains are still so small. they do everything too quickly, they stumble through life as if a clock is ticking somewhere. to me, they're just haunting to read about. it feels wrong and dangerous to just watch them do things that hurt them because they don't know any better, but they're on a page. nobody can stop them. it's just so tragic, i'm obsessed.

the prodigal child: this archetype isn't really as deep or detailed as the others, but i do appreciate it. this archetype is for a child who knew who they wanted to be from an early age. a child who wanders into a ballet class and finds out they're better than the ten year olds by the time they're five. this archetype often pairs really well with the know-it-all kid or the adult-ified child because usually, children don't experience what it's like to be the best at something until they're a lot older. this is just a really cool archetype when you aren't quite sure what to do with that main character's little sister.

the chaotic child: this archetype is so much fun to read and write, to be honest. this is a child that just does as they please, whether it's out of curiosity or for pure enjoyment. think of the crazy stories that your guardians have about you or your siblings being absolutely insane. scribbling in a book and then demanding that the library publish their version. trying to ride the dog like a horse. cutting up clothes in an attempt to be a fashion designer. this one is just plain fun!

---

now, there are so many more archetypes out there, but those are just my spotlights and recommendations! i hope after reading this, you feel more equipt to write child characters that have real, engaging, interesting personalities!

[amethystina]

If it gets ten kudos, I consider the fic a success. Because, when you think about it, ten is a pretty solid group of people. Like, if I were to gather those ten people in a room, I would probably feel a little intimidated knowing so many people read and liked something I wrote. But I'd also be really happy since, hopefully, the fact that they liked it also meant I made their day better. And improving the day of ten people is definitely something to be proud of :)

I need to print this and put this on my wall, or just have a screenshot of it on my laptop. I had stopped writing for a while, just because the engagement with my fics was so low. The kudos is always okay but the comments were so low, it made me doubt my ability to write for sure. And it's still in my brain now but I am writing on a Stony fic I had stopped and it's nice to write and think about.

So yeah, I need this on my wall. 😊

Go right ahead! I'm very happy if I can offer comfort or motivation :)

I also want to point out that there's nothing wrong with wanting engagement on one's fics. I just try to put my expectations into a context that's easier for me to grasp. I think it's easy to just go "I want as many kudos as possible" — which, again, is valid — but I prefer to focus on what's beyond that. Like the joy I'm bringing people and the difference I might be making in someone's day.

That's not to say that I don't love when I get lots of comments and kudos — of course I do — but I try not to expect them. And, if I do get them, I try to appreciate them for more than just their number. Which is one of the reasons why I reply to every single comment. Because they're not just a statistic to me. There is an actual person on the other end of that comment and it blows my mind that people take time out of their day to write them. I'm just so grateful for every single one.

Also, just a casual observation: Certain fandoms seem to be having a problem with dwindling comments. Not going to lie, I was pretty surprised when I wrote for Marvel again for the first time in years because I got fewer comments than I ever have. Like, the number of comments on the first two chapters of my Stuckony fic is roughly the same as the comments on the first two chapters of my Mad Dog fic. And Mad Dog is an obscure Kdrama from 2017 that literally no one cares about. The comments on the Mad Dog fic are also a lot longer and more thoughtful.

That sort of thing depends on what kind of people are in the fandom, of course, and if there's a previous bond between the reader and writer, but I'd say it's not just you. Something has definitely happened within certain fandoms that results in authors getting fewer comments.

And maybe me saying this ruins the encouragement you were able to get from that other reply of mine, but I want you to remember that: it's not you. It's not that you're a bad writer, people just don't seem to be commenting like they used to. Which is discouraging for sure, but at least it's not your fault.

And maybe reframing how you look at kudos and comments will help? It's definitely okay to want them — we all do — and it's understandable to feel sad when we don't, but please don't let that stop you from writing. It's not your fault and you shouldn't doubt yourself 💜

So good luck with your fic and I hope you have lots of fun writing it! 😘

[mandos-mind-trick]

I'm forever grateful for this fandom

I've been meaning to post something like this for a while. I debated doing it during my next follower milestone (which is very close) but today just felt right.

I've been in a funky place these last few weeks due to a lot of things going on, and this time of year is always a struggle for me. I'm feeling better now, putting aside how today makes me feel, and some things have happened that are going to continue to make things improve slowly but surely.

Today marks twelve years since my mom's death. She died of colon cancer, which the diagnosis for came on rather suddenly and traumatically (that's a story in itself) and she fought for two years before finally succumbing to it on August 14, 2011. I was only 15 when it happened, sitting across the room from her when she took her last breath.

She and I were very close. I was a surprise child, born about 20 years after my siblings so I was raised as an only child. My mom was everything to me since my dad took on the more stereotypical gender role of working all day. (I was close with my dad but not nearly like I was with my mom.) My mom was the glue that held our family together and her getting sick and then ultimately passing really took its toll on my family, and me.

My mom was the one that introduced me to Star Wars. She loved the movies. She went and saw the original trilogy when they came out in theaters, and she instilled that love into my siblings and I. I still remember the day when she finally let me watch The Phantom Menace. I think it sticks out to me because if you had known her, you wouldn't have thought Star Wars would be something she was into. We went and saw the two remaining prequel trilogy movies when they came out in theaters and even the Clone Wars movie (the last one to come out before she got sick) and it was just so special that we shared this thing as a family that we all loved.

I didn't watch Star Wars for ten years after she died.

I rebuked anything and everything that had to do with Star Wars. Every new movie, every new show that came out, all I could think was how much she would have loved it (even the sequel trilogy.) I tried so hard to hate Star Wars because every time I saw anything related to it, it just brought up all those horrible feelings. The pain and grief of losing my mom and in a way I felt like I was betraying her because she'll never get to watch Star Wars again.

I don't really know what changed my mind. I honestly couldn't tell you what switched, what caused me to risk dipping my toe back into the world of Star Wars. Maybe it was all the Baby Yoda memes.

I decided early last year that I was going to watch The Mandalorian. It felt like a safe place to start since there were no emotions attached to it like other things. Also, I've been in love with Pedro since Game of Thrones so that also helped. Watching it, it didn't really feel like Star Wars, but at the same time, it reignited the feelings I used to get watching it with my mom. It took me a long time to watch the first two seasons (the only two that were out a that time) but I'm glad I did it. I went back after I finished those and rewatched the prequels and decided I was going to watch the Clone Wars show. I never really got into it when it was on TV, since I was reaching that stage of pubescence where I was trying to distance myself from anything that felt too childish.

Well, long story short, here I am now. The Mandalorian helped me ease myself back into the world of Star Wars, and the Clone Wars dunked me in head first.

I still think about it, I still think about her when I watch things. It's less painful now and more bittersweet. There's a sense of melancholy underneath everything that just kind of sits there. It never goes away, but sometimes it gets buried enough I don't feel it.

I certainly don't regret coming back to Star Wars. I certainly don't regret getting involved in the fandom side of things. When I decided to watch Star Wars again, I was sort of flailing between fandoms. That awkward spot when you leave one and have to find something else to occupy your every waking (and sleeping) moment. I had just left Marvel due to a toxic friendship (that's a whole other thing in itself) and had briefly jumped into Kpop (I still love Kpop but yikes at the fandom side.) I needed something and Star Wars decided to be that thing.

I didn't plan on getting so involved with the clones. I originally started this blog as a Mando blog (hence the name) and my first Star Wars fics were Mando fics. A lot of them have never seen the light of day and probably won't and that's okay. I hadn't realized, even when I first started getting into the fandom, that there was such a community centered around the clones. I remember when the Clone Wars movie came out, I desperately searched for any fics related to the clones, and there was nothing. So to return fourteen years after searching to find an entire fandom based around the clones...it was a bit unbelievable.

I'm so glad I found this place and eventually became active within it. Y'all have helped me more than I can ever say. I went from debating quitting writing entirely to enjoying it again. I'm writing like I did seven/eight years ago. It no longer feels forced, like I'm forcing myself to write so I don't lose my ability. I like what I'm writing. I'm proud of it. Y'all have helped me get over the impostor syndrome, the hatred I used to have for my writing. I can look at my works and feel confident in them because I know that they're good and I believe that they're good. That confidence and positivity has translated into other areas of my life. I still struggle sometimes, I still question myself, but it's never to the end of "I should quit because this is utter garbage" anymore. (When I say my writing is trash now, it's coming from a joking place, not a serious one.)

A lot of that growth has come from me and the work I've been doing, but you all have had a hand in it. I'm so grateful for all of you, from the silent readers to the dedicated commenters. You've helped me in so many ways. I'm not going anywhere, no matter how bad things get. I may have to take breaks but I'll always come back here because I have a reason to. You're stuck with me for the long haul.

I'm so glad I found my love of Star Wars again. I'm so glad I decided to engage in this fandom space. You're all so special to me and I love each and every one of you and I am so thankful for you. I can only continue to repay you with my writing and my unhinged thots.

[scorpio-karma]

Do you have any Unpopular vampire diaries opinions ?

I would honestly argue that all of my opinions of TVD are unpopular but that's simply because I don't like the show and hate like half the characters. Also the part of Fandom I participate in, the Bonnie Fandom, has similar feelings so what is considered an unpopular opinion there is a very different metric. As I've pointed out in some responses, we have completely divorced ourselves from canon, so a lot of things put out narratively in canon that most of the Fandom follows even with their AU's is completely out the window. I, and a lot of my mutuals, basically only seek to improve on the small bots we liked as a way to heal the trauma the show left us with.

So with that as our basis this is what I'd consider my unpopular opinions.

Kol is irrelevant as far as Originals go and I don't ship Kennett. This is one I stay mostly silent about because a) it was always a crack ship and b) I genuinely think it wouldn't be as popular of a Bonnie ship had Plec not brought them into an argument unprompted, but most of all I can't find it in me to care about the character enough even read in fics. I did a rewatch of the show to see if there were just episodes I missed where he was more prevalent than I remembered and nope. I didn't watch TO, so the idea of having to go to a whole different show to get the characterization of a character for a ship doesn't appeal to me. Do I think Kennett fans were done dirt by Kolvina? Yes, but that's a pattern with all of her ships going all the way back to season 1 and Tonnie shippers, so it ends up low on my list of grievances.

Bamon could have been a good ship. Now this is more of something unpopular with my main Fandom, Bonkai as it is her most popular ship at least quantity-wise, but it's mainly unpopular because most of us can't stand Damon. I will say, he's not even in my top ten favorite characters but I do love the natural chemistry between them and if they had followed a more logical route in season one they would have been at the very least interacting more in season 1 since his entire plan hinged on Bonnie and he literally tried to accomplish that by not speaking to her once...

There are some staple tumblrs here that are kind of like an authority in the Fandom as in they've written a lot of metas that most Bonnie fans agree with. There's one that I started following when i first got here that I will not name (no need to actually bring them in and I honestly haven't checked their blog in years) that I disagree with most of their takes. While they are a fan of Bonnie and Bonkai, their metas rely a little too much on chemistry. While that's a big part of what attracts me and people to a ship I personally think there needs to be more because a lot of their examples involve a very subjective perspective. They mostly started following a whole different tvd ship that I don't like so I didn't read too much into their metas, but I realized I didn't care for the takes with the ship I liked so I stopped following them altogether.

The Bonkai Fandom isn't dead. While there's a significant decline in content, myself include, I don't think we can truly call it dead because there are still people making content and consuming that content. Fandoms need the source material to keep alive, at least in the sense where there's still events and regularly updated post, but to say something is dead just downplays the people still contributing and still consuming. We're now just in our quality-over-quantity phase because I guarantee other tvd ships churning our content everyday is going to be rough.

[etherealpapercut]

the babysitters

~*~*~*~

fandom: mcu au

pairings: fem!reader x loki laufeyson, and pepper potts x tony stark

genre: it’s fluff. just some cute banter and funny scenarios. i‘m not quite sure what it is, but i like it, so.

warnings: alcohol mentions, smoke talk, loki being a little trickster, some possessive talk, nothing terrible. little bit of swearing.

w/c: 2k

a/n: hiiiii... i’m back... i gained like, 19 followers since my last update. which to some isn’t a lot but every one of them means a lot. i promise you, i’m not usually like this with my updates :/ anyway! here’s to beating writers block, one word at a time 🥂 enjoy

~*~*~*~

it was ten past midnight and pepper potts was sighing her heart out and rolling her eyes as she pulled up next to an exasperated y/n on the sidewalk, also shaking her head in disappointment. the steady blasting music of a nightclub several dozen paces away made the concrete and atmosphere quiver slightly. sounds of a crowd clamouring and having fun made the night feel warmer than it was.

y/n stepped up to the car and balanced on the edge of the curb, leaning down to poke her head in through the car window and look pepper potts dead in the eye.

“i’m not going to say that i failed my mission of keeping mr stark under the limit you set for number of drinks in a night, because i think it’s unfair you give me such a heavy task while i'm so new to the job.” y/n muttered at the smooth orange hair, refusing to look at pepper’s darkened pupils. the girl could practically taste the shade of sleep-deprived purple under her employer’s eyes.

“y/n.” pepper said. 

“ms potts.”

“y/n. you’ve been working with us for two years.”

“mm. you don’t say?”

“i do say.” pepper said firmly. “i have the documents to prove it.”

“boy, oh boy,” y/n exclaimed in mock horror. “surely not!”

pepper nodded seriously. “so smarten up.”

y/n stiffened and dropped the attitude.

the attitude was what got her the job offer. her ability to ken between when it was funny and when she should be serious is what got her hired.

“how bad is it?” pepper asked.

“on a scale of one to ten... i’ll give you an nine. and mr stark is well on his way to drinking himself to a ten.” was the response. the woman in the car nodded.

the young woman outside the car gave a mock two fingered salute. “come on in, i’ll help you bring him to the car.”

“no, no, sweetheart–” y/n stepped back as pepper threw the door open and emerged from the car. “you called me up because you couldn’t handle tony anymore.” her tone was stern.

“ms potts, i called because i needed help handling tony, i just need back-up to get him to ground himself a little bit more.”

“that is the exact same thing.” pepper insisted. “we’re switching duties, now. you’re staying in the car with the little nuisance we’re babysitting while i bring tony back, and then we’ll go home.”

y/n started to shake her head when pepper gave her a look and raised her eyebrows. “the... asgardian... nuisance... that thor dropped off for the week.”

y/n drew her jaw back.

“again?”

it was the “again” that made pepper potts droop a little in exasperation. not at her employee or herself, but at the memories of how many times thor odinson popped by with his hissing brat of a brother and left him in their care.

no one ever said anything about how loki immediately softened up and became docile the instant thor left. both of them wanted breaks from the other’s berating. and they both got the breaks they wanted, although thor was entirely unaware that loki put on an act just to annoy him and get him to give up custody.

y/n thought the whole act hilarious, which did not help in the least to improve loki’s antics to get back to midgard every couple of weeks. 

“again.” pepper nodded. “thor’s cape was torn and his hair was all singed when he appeared, and he practically threw his brother across the room before leaving.”

y/n shut her eyes and lifted her eyebrows while shaking her head like a cat that got spritzed in the face. she wasn’t astonished in any way.

“was there blood this time?”

“no.”

“that’s good.” y/n nodded, eyebrows pinched.

“the tower reeks of smoke.” the redhead lowered her voice a bit and leaned towards y/n. “and, loki was rather dejected when he found the tower to be empty. almost as if he were missing a certain someone. i think he actually pouted, the spoiled prince.” pepper winked discretely before she brushed past y/n and stalked towards the club. 

y/n watched pepper potts throw her shoulders back and put on her don’t even think about messing with me right now face. she vanished into the clubhouse.

y/n’s mouth was open slightly. certain someone, huh? couldn’t be tony, that was for certain. she put her hands on her hips and stared down the black tinted window for several seconds.

it slowly rolled down.

the young lady bent double to glower into the car.

big, wide and innocent green eyes looked up at y/n’s narrowed flashing ones.

there was a pause.

“hiiiii.” loki said.

“oh, cut the crap you stinker,” y/n chortled. “move over.”

she opened the back door and climbed in beside loki.

“you smell.” she said.

“you look nice.” loki tried.

“like a vaper.”

“did you try a new way of accessorizing necklaces?”

“did pep even offer you a shower?”

“i'm so very glad you’re back.”

“you’re still squishing me, laufeyson, move over!”

loki shuffled into the middle seat by a couple of inches. y/n settled back and breathed deeply.

“i’m glad to see you, too.” y/n turned to look at him. loki smiled like a child.

“thanks. i had to pull some new tricks to get back to new york, i hope you appreciate my efforts.” he said, brushing off one of his long sleeves.

“smelly tricks?”

“oh, my dear y/n, get over yourself. it’s just smoke. smoke and mirrors.” 

“we’ll get you a nice bath when we get back to the tower, m’kay?”

“of course. whatever you say.” loki nodded.

“what exactly did you have to do to get here? last i saw thor, he was quite resolved to make peace and rule his temper when it came to you.”

“couple of stabbings, intentionally misplaced items; important ones, overdone spices in his meals,” loki started counting. “generally ignoring him, mocking his every move, breaking out of temporary prison twice and setting fire to his bed...”

y/n tsk’ed in disappointment and frowned. “i don’t approve.” she said steadily. “that wasn’t fair of you. tell me you at least tried for one day of peace? like you promised me last time?”

loki looked away.

“loki, you son of a dog!”

“im sorry...” loki whined. “i gave him two and a half days.”

y/n let her head thump against the seat, fighting a smile. what a trickster. she could never escape the jokes.

“okay, good job. that’s really much better. thank you for trying.”

the sad look on the pale, smudged face brightened. 

y/n shut her eyes.

“you look worn-down.” loki remarked. “standing for too long?”

“yeah, something like that.” y/n answered, recalling not only the standing but the running and the dancing through the night club just to keep pace with tony stark’s boisterous evening mood. “i’m so exhausted. tony stark is a piece of cake when he’s sober, but he’s the whole damn cake when he’s not-sober, if you know what i mean.”

“not at all, but i’ll listen to you talk until i grow moss, just to hear your voice.”

missing a certain someone indeed. pepper was quite right. loki had caught a crush, and it was turning him into a real puppy. his cheeks were tinged with a happy shade of pink and had been ever since y/n had appeared.

“i’m really tired.” y/n reiterated. loki just hummed.

“so i suppose you wouldn’t be up for bringing me books and reading with me this evening?”

“it’s far too late for that, loki. tomorrow, promise. i’d fall asleep on you if it were to be tonight.”

“i wouldn’t mind.” loki said quietly.

“no?”

“not at all. it’d be cute.”

he was whipped. 

y/n grinned. 

“that’s very sweet of you.”

“why, thank you.”

and he was still as proud as ever. y/n didn’t mind so much. she yawned and blinked rapidly. 

sitting in a warm car with another living body pressed gently next to hers was making her feel sleepy faster than she should have been.

of course, being placed next to an otherworldly mass murderer and outcast such as loki should have made y/n be more wary and on-guard, however there was something in loki’s manners towards her that let her know that although tony might get brutally killed, y/n was safe in loki’s hands.

y/n closed her eyes lightly and relaxed into the seat. her breathing evened out and she let her head loll onto loki’s arm. he didn’t stiffen, or push her off. he melted into her.

she had absolutely no intention of falling asleep then and there, and was determined to stay awake so as to not give ms potts a bad impression. it had been two years of working for stark industries, and y/n still sought to please this motherly figurehead. pepper potts was worth the effort.

and still, y/n (and loki, for y/n had rested her head on his shoulder and he was now resting his head on top of hers,) completely missed when ms potts exited the establishment, leading a bodyguard holding a very drunk tony stark down to the car. tony was brought around to the passenger seat, all the while asking the bodyguard if he would like a side gig guarding the avenger’s tower.

his reasoning (although y/n nor loki could hear, but still too entertaining to leave out,) was that if he (the guard,) could manage to keep THE tony stark in and safely in, or out and effectively out of a nightclub, he would do extremely well at the tower. pepper gave the man a business card upon tony’s insistence and he acknowledged it solemnly before returning to his duties in the club.

pepper led her boss around to the car and yanked the passenger door open. after tony got crammed into the car, they were home-free. their rooms and beds awaited patiently back in the tower.

“hey!” tony cried, spotting y/n and loki dozing in the backseat. they jolted awake, loki in a lively manner, as if he had simply closed his eyes for a moment, and y/n squinting about blearily. she had really fallen asleep.

“sir,” y/n blurted stupidly, crawling from the depths of her drowsiness.

“hello,” loki greeted him, raising a hand politely and then rubbing his jaw. y/n had knocked her forehead against him quite abruptly when she had woken up just then.

“don’t you ‘hello’ me, that’s not the point,” tony shook his head drunkenly. “that’s my favourite junior personal assistant. you can’t have her, she’s under my care.”

“favourite?” y/n said. 

“and don’t you forget it.”

“can i have y/n when she’s not under contract, or is this a definite decision?” loki bartered, unconsciously moving a hand over y/n’s. y/n reached around and hit loki square in the chest out of impulse. she was not to be bargained over like some toy. he made a grunt in protest to the abuse. tony stopped and looked at him.

“is she your favourite, too? gosh, you’re popular, y/n. listen, punk, we can negotiate when i’m sober.”

“what about peter?” y/n asked.

“parker is my favourite intern who technically shouldn’t be my intern. there’s a difference.”

tony waved his hands around. the conversation of favourites and who wanted to keep y/n more was very sudden, but y/n readily amused all parties.

pepper pushed on tony’s back, effectively ushering him into his seat in the car. y/n sat forward, leaning over loki and passed the seatbelt around mr stark. he had the very distinct scent of alcohol clinging to him. it was almost as bad as loki’s smokiness.

almost.

pepper slammed the door and hurried around to the other side.

tony pointed through the windshield, awestruck. “and look, y/n, take notes! that’s my favourite out of all my favourites. her name is pepper potts. she’s...” here, tony hiccuped. “she’s amazing. i love her.”

“you love her?” y/n said with a smile. 

“he loves her?” loki said.

tony continued to gaze as pepper slid into the driver’s seat.

“she could kick my ass.”

“i can, i have and i will kick your ass, tony,” pepper muttered to herself.

tony giggled. 

pepper smiled to herself, glancing in the mirror at y/n curling back into loki’s side, yawning, about to fall asleep on the drive to the tower. and loki, in turn, blinking through the darkness and drawing his arm over the young lady beside him to keep her close.

“let’s go home.”

[sissytobitch10seconds]

The Devil's Dog

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel Summary: Lucifer needs everything to be absolutely perfect so that he can prove how much he adores his daughter to her. Michael is determined to make that happen, as well as to keep his beloved Star safe. Warnings: Jealousy, mentions of past abusive relationships, and anxiety Word Count: 4,877 Ship(s): Lucifer Morningstar/Michael

Archive link!

A/N: Okay, I know that there's some comic out there or a popular headcanon that Michael and Lucifer are brothers or twins or something, but they're not here. We've never met Michael in the show and as far as I'm concerned, that's the only canon since I don't think a piece of media should be a scavenger hunt unless it's an ARG. All of the angels are kind of like the Gods in Percy Jackson, where they don't have DNA so they can't really be incestuous with each other. Now that's cleared up, I hope that you can all enjoy this fic! Stay sissy and bitchy everyone <3

Michael had always enjoyed watching Lucifer work. While he himself was not a Seraphim, he had been at the same rank as them and thus had lived in the same bunk house as them when he was in Heaven. Being the Sword of God meant that he trained the armies of Heaven and sometimes, when he had gotten injured from that training, he would be allowed to lay in Lucifer’s room and simply watch as he made plans for the new animals and humans and plants that they would be putting on earth. Eden was the place where they tested it all, a palace that he had only been down to once to make sure that it was safe for Adam and Lilith to inhabit. 

A lot had changed since that time, but the love he had for Lucifer had never once wavered. He was still permitted to sit and watch him work when he was making plans for something that would improve Hell. This was a little less relaxing than that would have been as Lucifer was throwing a ball for Charlie’s official debut into society. It was a little old fashioned, but the Sins had wanted an excuse to get together and Lucifer had decided that his daughter deserved a chance to be appreciated like how she deserved.

Lucifer was currently fluttering all over the palace as he tried to get everything exactly where it needed to be. There were massive boughs of holly, elderberry, and hyacinth strung from the ceiling. Lucifer had given some absurd meaning about them from a culture that had been long forgotten, but Michael just thought that there were pretty. Between each of the flower arrangments was a string of multi colored ribbons that formed bows and sweeping strings down to the floor around them, like an imitation of a maypole. Floating multicolored, gently scented, candles made up the light of the room, most of them concentrated around the massive buffet table and bar.

“Star, everything is wonderful,” Michael said softly, hoping that his voice would reach far enough that Lucifer would hear it while he was near the vaulted ceiling.

“Wonderful isn’t good enough, I need it to be perfect,” Lucifer huffed as he fluttered back down to the ground beside Michael. Naturally, they fell into each other as if they hadn’t been separated by a war and ten thousand years. Michael placed his arm around Lucifer’s waist and tugged him closer, which made the king of Hell place his head back against the fallen angel’s shoulder and pectoral.

“Why?” Michael asked. It was something he had often poked Lucifer about when they were in Heaven, something he had never really gotten an answer on back then. He was hoping that he’d finally be able to pry the answer from his partner, seeing as they were now far away from Heaven and could properly speak their minds about the things that they felt and opinions that they had.

“Because it’s for Charlie!” Lucifer replied, widening his arms as he looked at all of the decorations.

“Exactly, starlight,” Michael whispered. He brushed his fingers over the side of Lucifer’s face, which quelled some of the anxiety that was brushing just beneath the surface. The fallen angel was so glad that he got to do this again. They had stolen moments with each other back when they were in Heaven, but it was nothing compared to being able to show his affection for his husband out in the open. He didn’t have to stare at the walls to make sure that the all-seeing eyes of their Heavenly Father had gone, nor did he have to listen for the footsteps of their fellow angels. He just had to love Lucifer and be loved back in return, something that was very easy once he had learned how to let himself go properly.

He leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to Lucifer’s lips, which successfully got his attention all the way away from the decorations and just onto Michael. He let his hands slide down and around Lucifer’s waist, keeping the king close to his body as he whispered the rest of his reassurance. “This party is for Charlie, your daughter who loves you very much. She believes in second chances for everyone, and that includes the father that she was taken away from. She’s going to love that you did this for her not because of how gilded the flowers were or how beautiful the tapestries are, but because she could see that you put time and effort into something for her. She loves you, nothing will change that. Especially not something as small as a flower not being in just the right position in a bouquet.”

Lucifer tensed at that, his brilliantly beautiful eyes flipping around the flower arrangements as he tried to figure out what Michael was talking about. The angel rolled his eyes and kissed Lucifer’s cheek before he let the smaller man go. It was useless trying to distract him from a task at this point, so Michael would simply make sure that he remained calm while he worked and didn’t overdo it. 

He walked over to the seats that were gathered around the little tables near the walls. The flower in the empty vase was drooping slightly, so he brushed his fingers over it and watched it perk back up. He no longer had the abilities that he had once wielded, back when he was the Sword of God and on the native soil of Heaven, but he had retained some of them. He was discovering more of who he was now that he was in Hell with his beloved. That meant that his abilities were also changing and shifting as his natural magic tried to find something to channel into that wasn’t killing or beating down the enemies of Heaven. It was nice, he liked being able to bring life to things instead of just taking it away.

Ten minutes of fussing later, Lucifer finally walked over to him. He bent down, one of his gloved hands resting on Michael’s cheek so that he could tilt the other man’s face upwards. He brought their lips together in a sweet kiss, leaving them both smiling like they were human teenagers that were just beginning to figure out the depth of emotions that they could feel. “Thank you for trying to reassure me and calm me down. I know that I’ve been rather over-the-top about this whole party. It’s just very important to me that Charlie can see the effort I’ve put into all of this for her.”

“I’m sure that she can. It doesn’t have to be perfect for her to understand the effort that you’ve given her,” Michael said. “I think that Perfection is a lie that God told to us so that He could make us more desperate for His validation. Think about it, if we thought that every action that we did had some unattainable standard of perfection that it could achieve then we were going to stay dependant and work harder for Him in return for nothing or less.”

Lucifer sat down on the other side of the table, reaching his hand across so that they could thread their fingers together. “I get what you mean. It took a lot for me to be able to understand that not everything I did had to be perfect and people could understand that I was flawed without damaging my pride. It was hard to go from being under the rule of someone that said that they were perfect in every way and had planned out the entire universe within an inch of perfection to being the ruler of a land that was ungoverned when I arrived.”

Michael was surprised that his lover was speaking about the Fall. They had talked about it a little bit, mostly just in reference to the love that they had shared before it had happened and the betrayal that Michael had felt about not having his partner by his side anymore. No one in Heaven had spoken about the Fall outside of warning each other that if they kept up with bad behavior then they would end up like the Morningstar. It had made him so angry to hear about the slander for his lover in the beginning, convinced that Lucifer had simply pushed the rules and was being punished for it like Michael had in the past. The longer that time went on, though, the more he began to think that perhaps Lucifer had left without telling anyone, including his lover, simply because he was selfish and bored. That was before he had realized what a cruel and uncaring parent God was, before he had begun to rebel himself, and long before he had fallen and reunited with his lover.

“The things we do don’t have to be perfect, we just have to try our best,” Michael said. It was something that he and Lucifer repeated often to each other, trying to deprogram the other from the things that they were taught while they were in Heaven. Michael wasn’t quite sure what Lilith had done when she was married to Lucifer, but it was clear that she hadn’t put in nearly the effort that Michael was when it came to helping Lucifer out of his depressive episodes and anxiety spirals.

“I tried my best for this party and that means that it’s going to be good,” Lucifer nodded. His red cheeks flushed even darker when the door opened and he realized that they were still holding hands. Their relationship wasn’t a secret, but they had kept it on the down-low since neither of them wanted to deal with the tabloids and news programs speculating on something that they knew nothing about.

Charlie was the person that was entering the room, the door staying open long enough so that the servants that had been assisting with set up could leave. She beamed at her father and his partner, nearly skipping across the floor and over to the table. “Hey, Dad! I was just coming by to see how everything was going.”

Michael turned and watched his partner interact with the princess of Hell. Lucifer’s smile widened when he got to the table, his eyes softening with true excitement and love. He stood and took her hand as he began to gesticulate with the other one, “We’ve got the decorations finished, so the only thing that we’re waiting for is guests and the girl of honor to actually get dressed.”

She giggled when he poked her cheek, something that he had likely been doing since she was very small. She hugged him, “Thank you for doing all of this for me, Dad. I always dreamed of getting something like this. Mom used to talk about the formal events that you held with the rest of the Sins and Overlords.”

“Things like this were far more common back when the mortals held balls and gatherings. It was important to us to make sure that they felt welcome since they were going to be controlling some of the land that we were connected to, but it was also fun. It’s been a long time since we’ve had something like this and I think that it’s time we bring it back. What better cause to bring it back for than my darling girl?” Lucifer beamed.

She blushed and shuffled her feet shyly, as if she wasn’t used to her father constantly telling her how much he loved her and how proud she made him. “I’m going to go get ready if you don’t need my help,” she said. She seemed to both want to stay in the situation and get out of it, something that Michael related to a lot since he had become so close to Lucifer.

“Remember to let me see you before you go in to the ballroom, I don’t want to cry in front of too many people,” Lucifer teased as he shooed her away. Charlie laughed as she went, hurrying on her way. When she got to the door, she turned and gave them another chipper wave before they were left alone again. 

Lucifer let out a little sigh when the door clicked shut and then turned to his partner. “I know that she’s already been acting like she’s an adult for years at this point, but I feel like I’m giving her into the world already,” he ran a hand through his hair.

Michael moved to his side, brushing the cowlick he had disturbed back down into the place where it belonged. “You kind of are. That’s the whole point of having a debut ball,” he shrugged. “I never spent a lot of time in the places on Earth where they were common, but Heaven took the idea and used it for when the angels had finished getting their training. It’s been hard for me to remember that things will stay the same between us and her when this is all over, I keep thinking that she’s going to go to whatever job God has assigned her and then we’ll never see her again.”

“Did that happen with a lot of the angels that you were training?” Lucifer asked. He reached down and took his partner’s hand, threading their fingers together so that he could lead Michael through the palace. They walked through the mostly empty halls all the way to the bedroom, chatting with each other about what had happened in Heaven and how they were both dealing with it. It was nice to be able to get those things off of his chest, especially when he knew that the memory of that conversation was going to live within someone that he cherished so deeply.

They were also changing their clothing so that they could go and greet the guests that were coming to honor Charlie. Lucifer was in a dark black and red suit, the laps and vest that he was wearing the same brocade fabric that was interlaced with the pattern of embroidered golden roses. His crown shown brightly on his head, the serpent wrapped around the branch of a tree that had leaves and the buds of apples poking out of his near-white hair. His wings were out as well, large feathered appendages that had turned from the white and blue pastels to a deep golden and red.

Michael himself wore something that was far more subdued than his partner, though it was still fancy enough that he wouldn’t get mistaken for a member of the staff despite him looking nothing like an imp. He had chosen a midnight blue color with accents in the same blood red as his partner, the pocket square made of the same fabric as Lucifer’s vest. On his hip was the sword that he had fallen with when he tumbled from heaven, his handprint carved into the hilt of the weapon.

“Are we ready for this?” Michael asked, wrapping his arms around his partner’s waist.

Lucifer hummed happily and turned so that he could get another kiss. “It’s not about us, it’s about Charlie. I wish that Lilith could be here to see something so important in her daughter’s life, though. Charlie loves her mother so much and I know it would mean the world to her for Lilith to be present tonight,” he pouted.

The fallen angel felt something feral and angry pop up inside of him. He had been standing beside the High Seraphim when the alleged Queen of Hell had arrived at the Pearly Gates, a contract in hand and a sly idea on her manipulative lips. She had promised her citizens that she loved them and lifted them with her siren song, only to damn them all to an undeath at the hands of angelic steal. He, of course, knew that it would simply wipe their memories, have them retried based on the actions they had done while staying in Hell, and some had even been permitted into Heaven. Lilith hadn’t know that, though, she had been under the impression that it killed sinners and disbanded their souls, dooming them to nothingness.

“I’m glad that she’s not here. She’d make the entire thing about her when it’s supposed to be about Charlie,” Michael argued.

“Weren’t you just doing the same thing, my love?” Lucifer raised a single brow at his partner. It was hard to get his feelings across when it came to his ex-wife, Michael knew that. He didn’t understand what their relationship had been like before he arrived but he knew that Lucifer had loved her very dearly, so he tried not to speak ill of the First Woman very often.

“I was asking if we were ready to see her spread her wings so officially in the privacy of our own bedroom. I wasn’t prancing around the ballroom while gloating about how wonderful of a mother I was the way that she would,” he grumbled. He took a step back from Lucifer and then took a deep breath to settle that monstrous party of him back down where it belonged. “It doesn’t matter though, because she’s not here and we are. It’s our job to make sure that Charlie feels special and well taken care of in her place, right?”

“Right,” Lucifer nodded. That broken part of him had come back up at the mention of Lilith and Michael wanted to kiss it away. He settled for offering his arm out to Lucifer, the one on the other side of his sword and scabbard. 

The king smiled softly at him and then took the offered appendage so that they could head back through those long hallways and empty rooms to the ballroom they had prepared for Charlie. The servants had finished with the food and all the plants had new water in the vases and bowls that they were sitting in, making them perk up. “I think that this is going to go swimmingly,” Lucifer said confidently.

When Michael had first arrived in Hell, after he had recovered from the lack of wings and the injuries that he had sustained when he fell, he had realized how much Lucifer had changed. He had always been bright eyed and excited when it came to the ideas that he dreamed up while not working, but something inside of him had dimmed so much in the time that they had spent apart. Michael had made it his goal to try and bring that light back by encouraging Lucifer that his dreams would work and even if they didn’t, it didn’t reflect anything back on him like Heaven had said it was. Pride swelled in his chest as he realized that he had already helped his partner so much in the smallest of ways.

He felt giddy on the sin that he would have been punished for feeling if he were in Heaven as he walked the room with Lucifer. They stopped when the door opened and Charlie bounced over to them. She had also been doing a lot better now that she had gotten out of an unsupportive relationship and her father was encouraging her dreams concerning the hotel that she was running to try and redeem sinners. He could see the light and joy on her face as her rosy cheeks were left natural, not hidden behind the makeup that so many people had suggested.

She was wearing a dark violet gown, the color complimenting the pale blond of her hair that was done in a series of elaborate crown braids. Her tiara was perched behind the braids, accentuating her status as a princess and drawing attention to the fact that the party was for her. The gown brushed the floor when she shifted, a full skirt that extended from where the bodice ended at her natural waistline. The bodice itself was corset laced in the front with little pink rosettes with every cross. The sleeves were tight to her arm until mid forearm, where they flared out into lacy puffs that trailed all the way down to her wrists. 

“You look absolutely wonderful, my dear!” Lucifer beamed when he saw her. “I know that you’ve been grown for quite some time, but this is really accentuating that point for me.”

“Dad,” Charlie rolled her eyes the way that all children did when their parents were being overbearing. Still, she stepped forward and then wrapped her arms around him. “Thank you for helping me make the societal transition into being an adult. It’s nice to have a moment that actually confirms the way that I’ve been feeling for a while. Like a physical change, I guess.”

“I understand. That’s the entire point of these kinds of things,” Lucifer smiled back. His eyes were already watering, so they both separated and then began to fuss around the room while they waited for the arrival of their guests. 

It didn’t take long for the grand doors to open and a servant to announce the arrival of the people they had invited. Several of them were powerful Overlords, a court of Sinners within the hierarchy of Hell. The Sins were all also in attendance since one day Charlie would be taking over Lucifer’s ring, leaving him as the King of Hell and nothing more. She might one day also take over the kingdom, but it was unlikely that Lucifer would ever step down from that position and retire officially. The last people to arrive were the hoards of Goetia, all of them peacocking around the room while chatting loudly with one another.

Michael felt awkward standing near his partner while observing all of the people. Each of the groups acted so differently than the ones in Heaven and even each other. The Overlords were staring at each other and some of them were even having arguments, so it was clear that this was a way for them to garner more power from each other rather than just a party. The Goetia were using it as a way to show off their wealth and try to marry their children to each other. The Sins seemed to just enjoy being near each other and getting to talk with some of their friends.

He was relieved when Lucifer kept checking behind him to make sure that Michael was nearby. With the massive size of the ballroom, he had expected it to look as though there were only a couple of people, making it easier to walk around and not get lost. He had been proven wrong, since there was apparently a lot more noble-adjacent beings in Hell than there had been in Heaven. Lucifer was doing a good job keeping them together, likely because his lover knew the protective way that Michael would almost hunt him down when he felt like something might go wrong.

They talked with guests and made sure that everyone was getting along. It was easy with the Sins and Goetia because they knew to behave themselves in front of their king. The Goetia were powerful demons, but they were still Hellborn and could still be killed. The Sins knew that if they didn’t listen to Lucifer then they would have their power stripped from him because while he shared a title with them, he had extra ones to back up the massive swaths of magic he could control.

Eventually they made it over to some of the overlords that appeared to be arguing with each other. Lucifer and Michael stopped a few yards away from the trio as they listened to what was going on. There was a very tall man with a wide-brimmed hat and a cloak, colored in black and vibrant green. Next to him was a woman with long white hair that was wrapped around her waist as she talked emphatically with her oversized hands. She was wearing a black gown that matched the man next to her, making it appear as though they were a couple. The third person was a tall overlord with wolf features, colored bright pink and green. 

“I just don’t understand why we have to come to these things looking different than we would if we were out and about! I have shit to do after this and I don’t want people pointing and laughing at me because a big girl is in a teeny tiny ballgown,” the wolf Overlord said, flipping her neon hair over her shoulder dramatically.

“I know that you are rather new to this scene, being an Overlord that died in the current millenia, but there are a way that these things are done,” the Overlord with long white hair said. “I was born in the 1800s and poor, but I still know what a dress code is.”

“Zeze, we do not mean any offense, we are simply trying to make sure that the royals understand the power and respect that we as Overlords are just as powerful as them and thus should be respected. Dost thou think that thou is not worthy of respect?” the tallest of the Overlords asked.

Lucifer then stepped in before things could get more messy. “It’s wonderful to see the three of you again this evening. Zestial, Miss Carmine, I adore the look that you’re both going for and I assure you that I can handle the situation from here on out.”

“Of course, Your Majesty,” Miss Carmine said as she gave a curtsy to the king. They both walked towards the dancefloor, their hands interlinked and their voices meant for only each other. 

Michael wondered if one day he and Lucifer would be like them, a couple that held more power than most humans could fathom but entirely wrapped up within each other. It was something he wanted more than he realized as the thought sank lower and lower inside of his body. It felt like it was consuming him, the idea of being able to grow old with the man that he had loved since they were created from the same tiny burst of stardust and told to keep track of each other. 

His partner had turned entirely to face the Overlord that had been fighting with the other two. She was quite a bit taller than Lucifer and about three times as broad. Despite the fact that Michael knew his partner was the strongest being in all of Hell, he still stepped a bit closer to Lucifer. The moment that the Overlord made a motion he didn’t like, she’d be pinned up against the wall with Michael’s sword against his neck. Lucifer may be able to defend himself, but someone that beautiful and charming shouldn’t have to do any dirty work when someone as loyal and steadfast as Michael could do it for him.

“I believe that I did issue a dress code on the invitations that I sent out, Zeze,” Lucifer commented.

“Like I said before, I have shit to do after this,” she huffed, folding her arms over her chest.

“Then I suggest that you get ahead on those things. Those that do not fit the dress code are insulting the validity of this ball as the debut into society for my daughter and are thus not welcome,” Lucifer said, holding one of his hands out to the side of his body in the general direction of the grand entrance to the ballroom.

“Listen here you classist little freak,” Zeze growled as she stuck her furry paw out towards him, claws extended long and sharp.

Before she had a chance to advance on the king even a little bit more, Michael had already switched their places and his hand was grasping the hilt of his sword. “I would suggest that you back down and listen to your king, wolf,” he snarled. He hadn’t felt that protective over someone since he had found Lucifer in the Garden and Sera had almost gotten him in trouble for it. His king may have been able to protect himself better than anyone else would have, but Michael was made for one purpose only and that purpose was to make sure that Lucifer was happy.

“Fucking guard dog, insufferable,” Zeze muttered under her breath. She held herself closely to try and make it so that she was a smaller target to the eyes of the populous as she made her way out of the building. 

He might have been upset about the nickname if it had come at a different time, but no he liked it. The idea that he was there beside Lucifer to protect him as a dog made him feel entirely whole. He had felt rather purposeless when he was had fallen from Heaven and then threw himself into trying to find something for him to do. It had given him a strange kind of purpose to find a task to do each day, but this was much better. This was fulfilling on a level close to his soul. It gave him purpose for more than just a day, more than a simple job to occupy his time. 

This was something that he was going to cling to with sharp teeth and claws.

[thedemigodoracle]

Please read:

Ok, so as I jokingly said before “I’m back.” - I’m not joking, I am back.

Not entirely yet but here are some things to wait for in the near future.

Before I list it I need to browse fast through the real life stuff first so bear with:

- one of the reasons I did go missing from art and fandoms in general wasn’t just the ammount of books but also family situations, depression, relationships and in the last few years I lost grandma, grandpa and even my mother to a disease they don’t have it diagnosed yet because it was so rare.

Obvsly took a major hit to my mental health and the ability to write and just have energy kinda left me. I’m handling it I’m in therapy. This is all we need to talk about it.

- it’s been over ten years since some of your fave fics have been updated and while both Clichesbullet on ff.net and thatu on DA will be there and won’t be deleted HERE are what’s to expect:

1. My endgame here is reading the books back and forth again, as well as other source

Material for other fandoms I will

Be publishing for.

-updating the old fan mixes and uploading it to Spotify so it’s more accessible and going back (when possible to art).

- I will use AO3 some new aesthetics and user name (though probably just thatu) and edit a lot more to fit what I believe is better not because the world changed in general but because so

Did I.

Some of the racism and homophobia will still be there are these are the characters having flaws whose arcs weren’t complete but lots of it will also be changed because I’m 34 now I also the world is changed and some stuff just wouldn’t fly and I kinda hate it (but the old material is still there available on the old

Accounts).

- I’m not sure technology will be adapted but some references will here and there and I can clearly deliver something better now that I’ve taught English for over half of my life and am taking a masters degree on translation studies.

- real life will get me too busy sometimes so please I hope you’re excited but I know lots

Of you also have jobs or even families. So leave reviews and keep

Me company but also understand I was bad at updating before even with better time

Management this is will be a ride.

- I’m doing this to prove myself I can do and make good things.

- This site as well as the thatu blog will be updated.

- if you were a follower and have deleted your tumblr or changed usernames please leave a reply with who we were because I’ve had an eventful few years. I remember most of you, but I may need a nudge.

- both my writing and art style have developed and so did my world views - stuff will look different but hopefully still bring you comfort. And laughter.

And tears…?

- there will be some one shots posted focusing on stuff like grown up characters and new knowledge

We now have though the characterization will still follow the book ones as that’s how I kinda got used to it.

- I’m back but I’ll be getting back slowly and posting updates here. Tell ur friends who haven’t been here in a while but used to be part of our group of

Weirdos.

- I missed being a fandom person and hopefully now I can find solace in you guys back again.

- some new fandoms will pop up, as will

Some

Ships (see what I did there? Find solace? Will some ships? Hehe).

-Some extra texts will be added to whatever adaptations I make especially regarding transphobia and HP though I do intend to finish my Hannah/Neville story.

- maybe I’ll write original

Stuff too who knows?

Also, I missed you, spread the word. There’s a brand new old me in town. New ships, new views, new one shots, edits, a very different music taste (actually no I just added more stuff) and a lot of improved knowledge of vocabs and world geography.

Please spread this to whoever you think might be interested. It’s not popularity or anything, I’m trying to get back some pieces of me I lost along the way and writing and drawing used to be FUN and help me make FRIENDS.

I’ll keep u posted once everything is at least remotely ready to go.

And omg you’ll finally know what Silena had on clarisse.

Oh and I’m still not for writing smut but there will be more Adult/Mature like material as some ships require it and I am older. No minors having descriptive s*x

Of course but u know it’d feel weird to talk about these huge ass long relationships and not bring it up naturally.

Anyway, reply to this with whatever. Leave a like or something too but mostly leave a reply so we can start this journey together -

New younger fans are also welcome I’ll make my best to keep this space as safe as possible!! I teach kids and teens and I’d kill for u to have a place to be you safely.

Also there will now be additions on author notes for whether a ship is canon or fanon what I adapted and new fandoms new ships and trigger warnings before sensitive chapters that deal with stuff that before I wouldn’t.

Love, I’ve missed this,

thatu.

[ae-azile]

29. What’s something about your writing that you’re proud of?

Hmm...this one is tough. I am more inclined to answer what I am most proud of as a writer, at least in regards to my progression as one.

I suppose my improvement throughout the years I have been writing regularly is one thing I am proud of, but also how I view my own writing in comparison to ten years ago. I was told growing up but a couple of teachers (mainly my Honors English teacher who sadly passed relatively young) that I was a good writer and had a knack for it, but I was so self-conscious about it. Every time I had to share creative writing, I would feel petrified handing it in. Sharing it with the class was so much worse. This feeling extended to short films I made as well. I wasn't just avoidant of criticism. I would convince myself that I would get no good feedback. At all. None whatsoever. In hindsight, that's a little ridiculous, but it is also the truth.

While college helped me share my creative writing a little more confidently, I really do think fanfic is what helped me share it with pride. I remember posting my first chapter of a fic (outside of what I had posted on a Harry Potter message board as a little kid lol). I was so nervous, thought it would be torn apart, and it wasn't. At least, not at first. That particular fic was controversial because I separated the main couple and put them with other people for the first story so I got a lot of hate and death threats for that, but I also got a lot of praise, enough that I felt confident to continue on in that fandom for a while.

Writing in that fandom also led to me publishing two books about original characters I initially had in that fic series and giving them their own love story, so I am proud of that too.

When it comes to something I am proud of in my writing itself, I think I am proud of having a knack for translating and integrating my weird, niche sense of humor into fiction. I have written about magical blankets, de-aged families, characters turning into ducks, love spells, etc, and somehow those stories get attention lolol.

I am also proud of being inclusive when it comes to including/creating Deaf and/or non-voicing signing characters without making their deafness or lack of auditory expression their main characteristic. I am hearing myself, and my first language is English. I have been signing daily in an integrated Deaf culture environment for over six years due to working in a Deaf school, but I am still hearing. I hope that if anyone is interested in this aspect of my writing as well, they will check out Deaf writers and creators since they are talented individuals and have unique stories to tell. I have had a couple of readers reach out to me and say that they are looking into learning sign language in their own countries, which is awesome. 🙂

Thank you so much for the ask! I always enjoy your reviews, so it was nice to see! ♥️

[mjmdragons]

SO….for probably the past 18 years ever since I was a freshman in high school who discovered fanfiction, I’ve been writing various (incomplete) pieces for a multitude of fandoms that I was convinced would never see the light of day. Until now. I always end up discovering things late to the party. Most recently Tumblr is one thing. And Jujutsu Kaisen is the other.

As in, I only discovered the series in September. And in my perusal of Tumblr I have read a myriad of insanely talented stories and ideas for Jujutsu Kaisen. But one thing that has stuck out to me is that I have never seen any fic that has Toji having a sister. I’ve seen stories of Suguru and Satoru having a sister, heck even Yuji. But never Toji.

And it got me thinking, what if he had a sister? Specifically a younger one, how would that impact the storyline of Jujutsu Kaisen. And so I present to you the first Chapter of a story I have spent six months creating (there are a lot of gaping holes). There’s going to be alot of questionable canon accuracy as I’m new to the series. I welcome any corrections and suggestions for improvement. Please bear with me.

I want to give a shoutout to Authorautumnbanks (Happy Brithday🥳) who has been instrumental in giving me feedback from the beginning about every idea of this story I have barraged to her.

She has also for months now been insisting that I finally just jump into the deep waters and post something. And so here I am posting what feels like the insides of my very soul for the internet to see for all of time. I am petrified, tentative and excited. I also honestly don’t really expect anyone to actually read this. But if you do, I appreciate you even taking the time, and I welcome any and all feedback. So without further ado here is Chapter 1.

Also: this is an 18+ Story. Minors do NOT interact.

When There Were Three

Chapter 1

Like a game of chess
I predict your move
I think I know you better
Better than you do

——The Downtown Fiction

For years Toji had longed to leave the Zenin clan, although the steps he had been surreptitiously taking to do so hadn’t really kicked into high gear until this past year.

He could’ve probably left years ago, no sweat off his back really. Probably.

It was making sure he had the funds to provide for his sister Maaya too (while raising her) that made leaving easier said than done.

It wasn’t uncommon for the Zenins or other lesser clans to send their girls off like herds of dumb innocent cattle to be shipped off to “schools” where they were taught (amongst other things)on how to seduce powerful men to ensure political power, continued lineage, and financial wealth to their clans.

They were transformed from uncouth animals into lifeless, unquestioning pretty porcelain dolls; easily breakable with nothing but emptiness inside once they shattered.

Easily replaceable too. At almost ten Maaya was on the cusp of being separated from him for that explicit purpose. They would rob her of her laughter, her smile, then her joy, her imagination, her sassiness, her determination, and finally what was left of her will.

“What would you think about leaving here?” Toji Zenin asked her while she brushed her teeth, finally voicing aloud his plan to her.

Maaya spat in the sink. She had never left the Zenin estate for more than a day before.

“On vacation?” She asked, puzzled, wondering how and if they could afford to even go anywhere.

The corners of her older brother’s mouth twitched as a chuckle escaped him.

“No, for good. Forever. We never come back here again.” Toji clarified, ruffling her hair.

“Where would we go?” Maaya asked, furrowing her brows.

Toji noted that her eyes were wide with genuine curiosity, not apprehension.

“We’d stay with that pretty lady you found under my bed.”

“The naked one?”

There was a loud clearing of a throat, and an averted gaze and red tint to Toji’s cheeks. “Yeah….”

“But, would she be able to afford us? I’ve been thinking alot about why she had no clothes on, and I can’t believe I didn’t realize it sooner. She’s poor! That’s why she was naked. She mustn’t be able to afford any clothes.”

Toji raised a puzzled eyebrow before a laugh emerged from him, a kind that Maaya had never heard before. Normally he would let out a husky chuckle from within his throat.

But this laugh came from somewhere deep within his gut, filling up every space of the room and quickly dissolved into a fit of giggles.

Those giggles made Maaya giggle, even if she wasn’t sure what exactly was so funny. Grownups were weird.

“T-that’s not quite, never mind.” Toji shook his head as a few more genuine chuckles escaped him and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.

Toji’s jade green eyes always crinkled when he found something amusing. He pressed Maaya to his side so that her face was squished against the solid wall of muscle hidden beneath coarse fabrics of his hakama.

“Don’t ever change Twerp.” He rumpled her hair even more and let out a loud exhale.

“I won’t..” Maaya flailed, her voice muffled as he squished her even more. “You’re heavy!”

“If we leave here, we can be just like everyone else out there, like that lady.”

“You mean, we won’t get thrown in the curse pits anymore?” Maaya’s voice held a mixture of apprehension and a tinge of hope.

“No more curse pits ever.”

“And they really won’t hate us because we don’t have cursed energy? They’ll be nice?”

“Most of them, yes. They’re good people. Like the pretty lady.”

“Are you going to marry her? Is that why we’re staying with her?”

“Would you like me to marry her?”

“Does she make you happy?” Maaya tilted her head inquisitively.

“The happiest.” A rugged smile curled, and his sharp gaze softened considerably.

“Okay, then I would.” Maaya nodded, satisfied with that explanation and then paused. “But….only if you always make her happy too. It’s not fair if she’s never happy.”

“Well, I’m gonna do my best to kiddo.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Maaya held on tightly to Toji’s hand as they walked through the streets of Tokyo.

Even though the almost ten-year old had wandered these streets many times when sneaking out with Satoru Gojo to play ever since they were six, she felt an odd mixture of apprehension and anticipation now.

Maybe it was because there was no going back to the Zenin compound now, and their lives were now uprooted. When she and Gojo would chase each other, there was no set destination for where they wanted to go, but there didn’t need to be. They were just two little kids having fun.

Maaya never realized how much of a minimalist she was until they were packing the night before and everything she owned fit in her backpack. There was no need to take any kimonos.

Toji had said that the woman they’d be staying with (Midori Fushiguro was apparently her name) would have clothes for her to wear when they got there. So Maaya really just ended up taking a few books Toji would read to her, an extra sweatshirt, and that was basically it.

The little blue eyed white cat plushie keychain that Gojo had won for her while playing festival games was securely hooked onto the belt loop of Maaya’s pants.

She kept reaching down to check to make sure it was still there every few minutes. It was probably silly, but Maaya was too nervous about setting down her backpack and accidentally leaving it behind to hook the keychain to its zipper.

Since it was still fairly early in the morning, mixtures of salarymen and kids in schools uniforms flooded past them. Maaya’s gaze lingered on the uniforms of kids that looked close to her age, wondering if she would get to go to a school like theirs and wear one too.

She sure hoped so.

A group of girls in particular seemed to be giggling and laughing. It looked like they were having fun. It was something Maaya had never experienced with anyone her age outside of Gojo before.

It was an odd fact of her life that seemed impossible, ridiculous even, being part of a clan as huge and old as the Zenins.

But, when you had absolutely no cursed energy like her and Toji, your very existence was a sin, a shameful stain to your clan. From birth they were pariahs to the Zenins. Even the servants had more standing than them because they possessed cursed energy. Playing with her cousins, or any of the servant children was an unacceptable social taboo.

Satoru Gojo had broken that iron clad unspoken rule; he had always abhorred rules and traditions, and their friendship was a closely guarded secret.

When Maaya’s presence was required it was to learn archaic traditions like ceremonial dances and the art of tea serving and flower arranging in scant hopes she might attract a husband. As far as primary education, Toji had homeschooled her how to read and write, and basic arithmetic.

If she did go to a public school, she wondered what kind of subjects she’d learn; maybe she’d get to eat out of a lunchbox like all the other kids.

She snapped out of her thoughts as Toji ruffled her hair, having followed her curious gaze to the group of girls her age.

“Don’t worry, you’ll make plenty of friends in no time kiddo.” He promised her, his voice gruff, but his piercing jade green eyes were gentle.

Because of Toji’s imposing height and powerful build, they actually didn’t seem to have to do much weaving through the crowds. Rather, people seemed to quickly get out of Toji’s way, which made it easy for them to make their way to a local restaurant across the next street.

Before Maaya could ask why they were stopping here, a familiar woman with warm brown eyes, short spiky locks of hair, and a bright smile approached them. She was dressed casually in jeans and a hoodie, and embraced Toji with long kiss.

Maaya wrinkled her nose and averted her gaze; grownups were so gross. Seeming to sense her discomfort, the woman broke away from Toji and knelt down so that she was eye level with Maaya.

Suddenly caught off guard by the attention that was on her, Maaya squeezed Toji’s hand even harder, this time with both hands, and pressed her face into Toji’s arm, suddenly overcome with shyness.

The woman beamed, “Hi Pretty Girl. My name’s Midori Fushiguro. It’s nice to meet you again.”

Maaya blinked, her cheeks growing rosie at the unexpected compliment. Pretty?

“Hi!” She squeaked, and with a surge of bravery bowed respectfully to Midori (though she was still clinging onto Toji).

“I-I like your name. It’s pretty just like you,” Maaya blurted out, making Toji laugh and Midori melt.

“What’s your name Twerp?” Toji gently prompted her, his eyes crinkling with amusement. He reached over and poked her side with his free hand.

Maaya glared up at him before turning her attention back to Midori. She swallowed quickly.

“I-I’m Maaya Zenin. Oh, wait, just Maaya because we’re not Zenins anymore.” She felt Toji ruffle her hair in quiet approval.

“I think your name’s actually closer to ‘Octopus’ with how you’re gripping onto me.” Toji teased, which earned him a united glare from both Maaya and Midori.

“Aw, be nice Toji; she’s just a little shy. And such a cutie! Are you hungry for some breakfast Maaya?” Midori smiled sweetly.

Maaya nodded eagerly as her tummy rumbled.

“Great! This place has a lot of sweet breads and donuts you can eat. And then after we eat breakfast and get you guys settled in, there’s a playground nearby that we could go to.” Midori suggested hopefully.

“Really, we can play there?” Maaya glanced at Toji hesitantly, who nodded.

“Sure we can.” Toji shrugged, a lot more relaxed than he’d been an hour ago.

That confirmation seemed to break any lingering trepidation or shyness Maaya had because she let out an excited cheer.

Midori didn’t even get a chance to blink before Maaya began eagerly inquiring about how big the slide was, and launching into a tale about how she tried sliding off the rooftop of the Zenin bath house a week ago, but accidentally landed on some Chrysanthemums in the process.

Midori took one look at Toji’s astonished face and burst out laughing. “Oh I like you, you keep Toji on his toes, don’t you?”

Maaya seemed to puff up with pride like the fresh breakfast pastry she eagerly bit into. “Of course I do; he runs really funny when he tells me not to do something. That’s why I do it anyways.”

“I do what now?” Toji raised a disbelieving eyebrow as he took a skeptical bite of his breakfast.

Maaya stared incredulously at her big brother: “You. Run. Really. Funny.” She repeated slowly annunciating every word as if Toji had suddenly gone nearly deaf AND dumb.

“You know how chickens are too fat to fly but they still try to flap their wings anyways while they run around?” Maaya painted a generous picture.

“Yeah….” Toji eyed his little sister suspiciously. Was she calling him fat now?

“Well, you look even MORE ridiculous than that when you run.” Maaya nodded affirmatively with a shrug of her shoulders before turning back to her breakfast; completely oblivious to the ego damage she had inflicted.

Midori choked on her juice as she failed to hold back her laughter. Heck, she didn’t even try to not laugh.

Toji sighed heavily, and rolled his eyes at Midori. “Whose side are you on again?”

“Oh, hers for sure.” Midori snorted, “Like that’s even a question.”

The bravery of this kid (who was entirely dependent on him for survival) to roast him so easily never ceases to amaze him. Toji swore in terms of discipline, he was gentle parenting his baby sister, but Maaya had clearly missed the memo that she was supposed to be gentle childing back.

“It’s such a relief you’re as smart as you are pretty. All Toji has to offer is his pretty hair. But I think you’ll be just fine.” Maaya told Midori who looked positively gleeful at the compliment.

“I like the way you think.” She held up her hand to high five Maaya, who happily accepted.

“I like it too!” Maaya agreed with a confident nod.

Well, she sure got over that shyness fast, Toji internally scoffed as he took a sip of his coffee. But as he watched Midori and Maaya chatting away as if they’d known each other their whole lives, he felt his mouth curving up into a small smile, and there was a pleasant stirring in his chest.

He turned his attention to the window, and noticed the leaves just starting to turn color outside.

It was nice Toji decided, to be able to look forward to things changing, and this time it felt like it was for the better.

~~~~~~~

Bonus scene:

“Toji, have you seen my shoes? I looked everywhere.” Maaya was bouncing on the heels of her feet with way too much pep this early in the morning.

He made a mental note to check how much sugar was in her cereal later. She was unnaturally alert; and Toji was not a morning person.

He poured what was left in his flask into his coffee cup, and rubbed his temples.

“Are you sure you checked everywhere?” He muttered, forgetting that Midori hadn’t snuck out the window, once their latest romp in the sheets had finished.

Maaya tilted her head in thought. “Pretty sure….oh…well maybe….” She paused, biting her lip in thought, clearly backtracking.

“Go check again everywhere.” Toji all but pushed her out of the kitchen of their living quarters.

“Okay.”

“I should start sedating her cereal.” Toji rolled his eyes, letting his head hit the table with a weary thud.

Midori heard whispers, and footsteps. Odd since she lived alone——ohhh!

Her eyes snapped open and a simultaneous feeling of dread and panic seized her brain as she took in her surroundings with groggy eyes.

Oh shit shit shit…she could kill Toji. She knew that lying next to him wasn’t going to be for “just a few more minutes.”

He probably really was married. The jerk! Clan rules her ass. How had she never put it together before??? Why else would he be sneaking her in?

In times of panic, one’s mind works dumbly as the body attempts to seek crude ways of survival.

In Midori’s case, she rolled off the bed, still completely naked and crawled under the narrow space between the bed and the floor when she heard footsteps coming close.

Oddly light footsteps.

It took everything in her not to scream as the sheets hanging off the bed were lifted up, and pair of green eyes that were not Toji’s stared back at her.

“Hi?” She wheezed inhaling a dust bunny. Idiot! She should’ve played dead.

The sheets fell down a moment later, and then the door opened and the footsteps started to retreat.

The walls were thin. And despite the thunderous boom of her stupid heart thudding nonstop, she could hear the conversation going on in the next room:

“Did you find your shoes?”

“Nope. But, um…. I did find a lady under your bed.”

There was a sound of intense choking.

“A what?”

“A lady….she had no clothes on. But I don’t think she was a curse. She didn’t attack me; she said hi. Actually, I know she’s not a curse, she’s way too pretty.”

Toji’s voice sounded strangled.

“Is that right?”

“Yep! She’s way prettier than all the other girls you keep sneaking in. No wonder you were kissing her near the moat last night. You never do that with all the others. You’re not very good at being sneaky are you?”

Midori felt her blood boil and her right eye twitch.

Toji was going to be a goddamn eunuch once she got out of here.

She missed what Toji said next.

“Well, it’s your bed Toji. What you keep under there is what you can fit I guess. Just not my shoes. I’m gonna go play——oh is it fun?”

“Is what fun?” Toji sounded like he was getting stabbed.

“Kissing. That’s all you ever do with girls. Is it fun?”

“I guess….”

“Well it must be for them; because talking to you is a real bore.”

“Listen Twerp——“

“But if kissing‘s all there is to have fun when I’m grown; I’d rather just climb trees forever instead.”

Toji’s laughter reverberated throughout the room and gave Midori goosebumps.

“I’m gonna hold you to that. Now….get lost Twerp.”

“Just not under a bed?” Came the cheeky reply.

“OUT!”

I just wanna run, hide it away
Run because they're chasing me down
I just wanna run, throw it away
Run before they're finding me out
I just wanna run
I just wanna run




[myxsweetxeverything]

Also I should probably make a tumblr account to talk to you (I stalked you here from your AO3 lol), I feel bad being anon and sending you hella lengthy ass messages like this with nothing to show for it 😂 but yes I adore your fics!! I got back into NIN over quarantine 3 years ago after previously not listening to them since hesitation marks came out and the hyperfixation just never seemed to go away!! Yes 100% the community for NIN RPF is soooo insurmountably tiny however of the very few people we have in this community, many of them seem interested in shipping Trent with M*nson and nothing/nobody else, with no consideration for other dynamics, which isn’t my thing, so coming across your content was LITERALLY a breath of fresh air. Your fics could stand to be a bit longer IMHO but they contain character (not caricatures), facts, and actually interesting plots unlike a lot of other NIN fics I’ve seen.

And man don’t even get me started on the general NIN fandom and its…rigidity and the pressures there are within it to be “perfect” somehow, while also managing to exclude other people and be stone cold af. I’ll always love the music but I left the fandom 2 years ago because of that. It just feels like one big overglorified clique nowadays. It’s funny ‘cause a lot of them act that way because they think it’s how Trent acts or that behavior will win them points with him when like.. that’s how ‘93 trent acted you fucking weirdos, it’s 2023. The best part is they’re doing so to try to meet standards that he himself doesn’t meet and doesn’t care to now that he’s a married father of five. Like the guy met his wife on Twitter, people. He’s on discord. He’s chronically online, just like us. He’s another person like we all are, so please chill tf out for ten seconds.

(and thus concludes my rant lol sorry for tormenting your poor inbox 🤣)

(My inbox is fine, don't worry! I always appreciate being able to talk fics with other people 😊 Besides, you're getting a long ass reply lmao)

I'm very glad you found this blog from AO3! I linked it on my profile and a few of my fics, but sometimes it makes me feel like a bit of a self-promoter, you know?

I had actually gotten into NIN about a year before COVID happened and during quarantine I decided to dive fully into the fandom.

If we can get more people writing NIN fic, that would be great tbh.

I was never into Trent/M*nson, and what actually motivated me to actually write after years and years of wanting to write for any fandom (not just RPF) was that I wanted to see Trent paired with people no one was writing about. At some point I realized that the only way I could read those fics was writing them myself - so I that's what I'm doing right now! And I'm glad that my efforts in doing that have paid off - "breath of fresh" is a wonderful compliment ❤

I do agree with my fics needing to be longer. I'm actually trying to find ways to improve my writing (including actually reading as much as my ADHD brain will allow me), so I'm glad you pointed that out. I might actually rewrite some of my fics in the future with that in mind. There's a reason why I developed the habit of writing very short fics, but I won't get into that here for reasons.

Oh, the NIN fandom...I'm not really going to go into that whole mess because I'll be here forever, but I will say that there are certain types of people, no matter the website, that I just avoid for the sake of my mental health. I'm sorry all that caused you to leave the fandom :( There's some really cool people in the fandom, but you're right that a lot of it is just like a clique.

Honestly Trent had the right idea to quit Twitter for good a few months ago. I'm sure when he deleted his account, the sun shone a little brighter for him once he was finally free.

Again, thank you for the lovely words about my fics ❤ I can't begin to tell you how much I appreciate it! If you ever do make a Tumblr, come on by! 😊

[earnestly-endlessly]

Hi, how are you? Your blog is amazing and your recommendations have already allowed me to read wonderful stories, so thank you so much! I wonder if you could suggest me any cherik fics of them as detectives? I remember reading one a long time ago, but unfortunately I don't know the name and even less the synopsis. Thank you in advance for your help.

Thank you so much @remember5novemberv for your kind words. I'm so sorry this took me so long but I hope you enjoy this list. There are some excellent detective AUs in this fandom so you're in for a treat.

Cherik Detective AUs

Their Mouths Always Lie – keire_ke

Summary: Charles adheres to most police protocols like they are a personal code of conduct. Erik gets things done and over with, for better or worse. Raven knows what she's doing, most of the time. The serial killer kills, regardless. Police AU.

Guilty by Association – Reagan

Summary: While investigating the homicide of a John Doe who he suspects might've been murdered while working the streets as a prostitute, Detective Erik Lehnsherr finds an unexpected ally in a hooker named Charles who seems as determined as he to solve the case. As they become more deeply involved both with the case and each other, there's just one thing that Charles neglects to mention -- that he's really an investigative journalist, one quickly convinced that what they're dealing with is more than simple murder. cop!Erik, fake-hooker-slash-reporter!Charles, Modern AU.

Incy Wincy Spider – Tawabids

Summary: Erik Lehnsherr is a renowned homicide detective, with his husband Charles at home and his partner on the job, Moira MacTaggert. When a twisted serial killer starts targeting mutants, Erik and Moira are the perfect team for the job, especially since Erik himself is the mutant poster-boy of an NYPD trying to improve their image.

But what they don't yet know is that the serial killer is an old soul out of Erik's past, and his next move is to pull Charles into his web.

The Theory of Partnership Dynamics – Pangea

Summary: “Detective Lehnsherr, how wonderful to see you out on the job!” The fed in the front greets him as they draw nearer. He’s shorter than the other two by a full head, and he’s beaming at Lehnsherr as if completely undeterred by Lehnsherr’s paint-peeling scowl.

“What do the feds want?” Lehnsherr asks bluntly.

“You know I can’t tell you that,” the fed answers cheerfully. Then his gaze lands on Alex, and, impossibly, his grin gets even brighter. “Did you get a new partner?"

“No,” Lehnsherr says through his teeth while at the same time Alex says, “Yes.”

Charles’ Killer – luchia

Summary: When detective Charles Xavier finds himself hunting down a vendetta-driven serial killer, it doesn't take long for him to realize he's in over his head. It only takes a little longer for him to realize his killer is, too.

Demoted – JayPendragon

Summary: Erik Lehnsherr is a detective-specialist with the NYPD Mutant Tactical Unit, ready to help out where his skills are needed. Or he would be, if he and his partner hadn’t been demoted. For the next four months, he is patrolling the Lenox Hill precinct with Azazel – if he doesn’t die of boredom first.

One night they are called in to investigate a potential case of domestic violence, yet the tenant assures them he is both alone and unharmed. However, there is something about this Charles Xavier that compels Erik to follow up.

Watching the Detectives – Clocks

Summary: Detectives Charles Xavier and Erik Lehnsherr are good friends and colleagues. However, when they go undercover at a Christmas party to nab a prime suspect, Erik keeps reminding himself to stay professional and ignore feelings of unexpected jealousy.

Oh, Sinnerman (Where you gonna run to?) – TintagelCastle (orphan–account)

Summary: Erik Lehnsherr is one of the best homicide detectives in New York. From small time stabbings to high end mob hits, Erik (and his equally scary partner Logan) makes sure all the bad guys get caught, searching for the final clue to nail his mother's killer. As a string of murders draws the net ever tighter on Erik's life's work, he needs to catch the nightmare of his past whilst continuing to be the darling of the Force...

And so what if he's completely in love with the British guy on Forensics? Who's he ever going to tell?

Wrap up my bones – waifornight

Summary: Damaged detective Erik Lehnsherr is grimly searching for a serial killer whose victims all have extraordinary gifts. But without any clues or leads he and his partner Logan are in the dark. Until Charles Xavier, abducted by the killer, escapes. Together Erik and Charles must confront something far darker than either of them had ever imagined.

Alternate Universe loosely based off the crime movie Kiss the Girls.

I’ll see your heart (and I’ll race you mine) – sirona

Summary: For Kriminalhauptkommissar Erik Lehnsherr, this case will change everything.

Paralyzer – Yahtzee

Summary: In 1965, Erik Lehnsherr has infiltrated the NYPD for his own purposes -- but his powers make him a brilliant detective. Yet that's not why FBI agent Charles Xavier has sought him out. It's because the mysterious killer they're both trying to find is murdering people like them: other mutants.

Their search for a madman binds them together. Their inner demons may tear them apart. But the greatest danger comes when the killer they're looking for looks back.

Wrap up my bones – waifornight

Summary: Damaged detective Erik Lehnsherr is grimly searching for a serial killer whose victims all have extraordinary gifts. But without any clues or leads he and his partner Logan are in the dark. Until Charles Xavier, abducted by the killer, escapes. Together Erik and Charles must confront something far darker than either of them had ever imagined.

Alternate Universe loosely based off the crime movie Kiss the Girls.

The Long Bright Dark – lachatblanche

Summary: Ten years ago Detectives Charles Xavier and Erik Lehnsherr closed the case on a grotesque series of murders that continue to haunt them even in the present day. When they are pulled in for questioning a decade later, they finally have confirmation of something that they have both suspected for a very long time - that there is unfinished business for them to take care of and that the case they thought they had closed so very long ago is in reality still all too open.

A True Detective AU.

Finding North – ClarkeStetler, Goosenik

Summary: Charles and Erik are (loosely) friends with benefits. They don't share personal details, last names, or anything concrete about their lives. This is ruined rather spectacularly when Charles gets recruited by the Mutant Apprehension Division of the FBI. Surprised is a bit of an understatement for their reaction to finding themselves partnered up and sent out on cases with the team.

Closer (to God) – dsrobertson

Summary: Se7en/The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo AU-ish.

Political journalist and editor, Erik Lehnsherr, has just lost £150,000 in a libel case against businessman, Kurt Marko. Down on his luck and in need of money, Erik is approached by the Metropolitan Police’s Detective Inspector Charles Xavier. Well-known for his investigative journalism, Erik is asked to help in the search for a serial killer in return for £200,000 if the killer is caught.

Wrapped up in murder, religion, and sex, Erik gets more than he bargained for.

Homo Sacer – unveiled

Summary: In a not too distant future, Detective Erik Lehnsherr meets Charles Xavier: street magician, former academician, and telepath.

One Good Day – troll_under_the_bridge

Summary: One case which is going to turn Charles' world upside down, while he struggles to pacify his boss, investigate murders and come to terms with the mess his life has become.

Playing With Fire – professor

Summary: Charles is a detective determined to catch a serial killer.

If the serial killer doesn't catch him first.

Hold on or let go – aesc, pearl_o

Summary: Teenage telepath Charles Xavier takes a job as a consultant, working with prickly police detective Erik Lehnsherr. Charles is used to being on his own and taking care of himself; he has no reason to think that his relationship with this stern, icy man is going to change any of that. (Also known as: Tough Little Baby Telepath.)

MCIS: First Case – Pookaseraph

Summary: Erik Lehnsherr considers himself a great MCIS agent, and he puts up with a lot from his boss - Moira MacTaggart - in the name of solving crimes against mutants, but he's not so sure about this new empath, Charles Xavier. Their first case together will test Erik's patience, but doubtless be the beginning of a brilliant friendship.

MCIS: Fathers, Sons, and Brothers – Pookaseraph

Summary: Alex Summers has a single case that he has obsessed about ever since coming to MCIS two years ago: Su-M-94-0708-0034, the murder of Christopher and Katherine Summers, and the presumed kidnapping and possible murder of Scott Summers. Very little evidence was found at the time, but hopefully a new team - and new leads - can shed light on the case that left Alex an orphan.

When the Crazies come to town – Chinchillaatthedisc0

Summary: Erik is a surly detective with zero people skills who has just been assigned the murder case of Kurt Marko. Prime suspect? Charles xavier. Who's no where to be found.

My old man is a bad man – faerie_ground

Summary: Sebastian Shaw dies at two am in the morning with a dagger embedded in his forehead. Detective Erik Lehnsherr is on the case, and the number one suspect is the recently widowed Dr Charles Xavier, Sebastian Shaw's husband.

Deep Cover – Subtilior

Summary: Omegas in heat? The perfect whores. Sebastian Shaw? The bastard who kidnaps them for his Hellfire Club. Erik Lehnsherr? A hard-boiled detective who's been on the Hellfire case for months. The catastrophe that unfolds when he goes in on retrieval and finds Charles Xavier still writhing in a Hellfire bed? .... Deep Cover.

A Murder of Ravens – AbandonedWorld

Summary:Charles Xavier is wrongfully accused. Erik Lehnsherr is a top-notch homicide Lieutenant who stumbles upon the case of a lifetime: a serial killer targeting mutants–and only mutants. Charles bides his incarceration waiting on a miracle, reciting Poe's timeless gem in effort to retain his sanity...

Note: Unfinished

[fingons-rad-harp]

Oooo gimme 13, 15, and 19 for the writing asks

weird asks for writers

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy?

writing about falling in love is very hard for me. once they’re already in love i’m fine usually, but the actual process of getting closer and realizing that you love someone? i’ve never really experienced that, and it’s hard to capture those feelings. an easy thing would probably be platonic affection and talking about feelings and all the comfort fluff. the bit at the end where everyone gets to cry in each others’ arms because they’re okay now, that’s my shit, hands down favorite and easiest thing to write for me

15. Do you write in the margins of your books? Dog-ear your pages? Read in the bath? Why or why not? Do you judge people who do these things? Can we still be friends?

i don’t write in the margins or read in the bath but i do dog ear my pages occasionally (sorry!) i don’t do it with my fancy pretty books but pretty much all the others are on the table. i know a lot of people like to make notes in the margins and i don’t really judge them for that, good on them for being able to have thoughts while reading something, couldn’t be me. i don’t judge people who read in the bath but mutuals if any of y’all do that please know i am terrified of u thanks

19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

i started writing in 4th grade because i loved the teacher for my writing class, she made everything so fun and i was like what do you mEAN i can WRITE DOWN all the imaginations in my head so i told her that i was going to write a book and i bought a very pretty journal and started writing the adventure of Kyara Swift who was transported to another dimension (a fairy land i think) and there was something about an evil wizard and Kyara was the lost princess (which she thought was very cliché) and i don’t really remember the rest i made a map for it and everything though and i remember asking my brother to help me write the fight scene that was in it. anyways that project got abandoned after a few months but i was always coming up with new stories that i’d buy a new notebook for and then inevitably abandon. i wrote a fair amount of percy jackson and the maze runner fanfiction by hand in notebooks that i never showed anyone. but i didn’t actually post any fanfic until i joined the silm fandom on tumblr during quarantine, and my writing has DRASTICALLY improved since then. you really just have to suck at it for like ten years until you get decent and i am getting better! i still don’t finish projects though. anyway mrs. roseberry if you’re out there i never wrote a book but i write a lot about queer elves so there’s that

[pocketramblr]

The followup to the Thought™

"Ugh." You say, waving to the screen. "Look at that, now that's who should have been the main character-"

"Oh?" I say, a small glowing figure appearing in front of you. "I can show you that if you want, wish granted." I wave my magic wand, and you blink to find yourself watching a different universe's show.

It's about a blond boy, with a minor superpower that's difficult to work with. He only has one friend, with major anxiety. Both of them want to be heroes, which is about the coolest and nicest thing anyone can be in this world.

But the blond boy is only in middle school. He doesn't get the best grades, he's a bit of a class clown, a bit of a delinquent. He's not exactly cool or over powered, but his earnest, bright nature endears him to the watchers and readers of the story. He's nice, and not worried about competition. He'll put cheering up his best friend over studying- and he'll put just enjoying video games together over training his power on his own.

He doesn't, by the way, train on his own. He makes meager progress in the class provided, and works hard when he's thinking about it, but he honestly doesn't even know where to start with his power.

He takes the entrance exam, and by some manner of luck, manages to permeate through blasts and rubble while shoving other students out of the way. He's used to watching out for his best friend, at least, and that carries over in his natural, if clumsy, attempts to help others here.

With more luck, he is accepted into the school on those points. So is his best friend, though they're in different classes. He still doesn't have many friends, but they meet a new girl in his bf's class: she's gorgeous and powerful- the most raw energy in any of their quirks, and no anxiety or complications holding her back.

She's a bit of a ditz, though, a bit much for others to hang around all the time, so even though she should be a shoe in fit the most popular, she slides easily into their group instead.

The fandom likes her a lot, and you feel impatient. This isn't the story you wanted to see, not really.

"Don't worry," I say. "Time flies when you're actually a school story instead of a daily battle with villains story."

And it does- they compete in the first sports festival. The main character, to little surprise, doesn't do well. But he manages to keep himself and the others smiling and laughing through it, and that brings the attention of the mentor.

The mentor that you like, of course, the mentor you believe was right.

The mentor trains the main character. It's hard, but he can actually break down what exactly he needs to improve on, and now that he has support, the main character takes it seriously. Like all children do, he rises to the expectations on him when he's given the material to do so.

Not made to find the material. The kid would have never dreamed of just assuming and asking such a high ranking hero to focus on him. Rather like another boy, but we'll get to him later.

It's another year. The girl tried her best at the beauty pageant. The best friend tried his best at the liscence exam. The main character has still been training at his internship.

"His second year." You say, thinking. "Now this is when All Might shows up in the timeline, ten months before February in what would be Mirio's second year."

I raise an eyebrow, but wave my magic wand.

All Might does appear. The mysterious top hero, always in the background- ads, all over the mentor's office. They used to work together, but no one in this universe knows anything more than that.

The mentor and the principal happily tell the main character that the number one hero wants to meet with him directly! The boy is nervous, of course, excited, of course, and a tad confused.

But meet they do.

And offer his quirk, he does.

The episode and chapter end on that, of course, and you feel a surge of excitement. Finally!

You look around and realize others in this fandom do not see it that way. Many critique the twist as coming out of nowhere, with no build up that it was even possible, breaking the established rules for no reason. Many others are proud of how much the main character has to work at the difficult power, and do not want him to have a second before he masters this one. Some feel it's a trap- a secret test of character, or a villain in disguise who will ruin him. Some wonder if it's more metaphorical- he's offering the power of support and more guidance, maybe a connection, but not his literal superpower.

You do not know how to feel about it, but you know this will be for the better. He will be perfect for it.

At the beginning of the next update, the boy turns down the quirk. Grateful, more than he could say, but he's worked so hard for his own power and he's not even up to snuff with it yet. He's unsure he's the best option. The girl, after all, is used to weilding such power, maybe he should try her, maybe he should keep looking.

The top hero nods, and asks if he can visit again later, if he can find no other. The boy is a good hero after all, and maybe he needs to believe in himself as much as he is telling his friend to. It will be hard to train a second quirk, yes, but he can manage. It will make him stronger and pay off, after all.

The boy agrees, tentatively. No one can really say no to the number one hero, after all.

"Ok." You say, nodding. "There's an opening. It can build more, since that's how the story is here, way more slowburn."

I shrug. That's what happens when you start the story three years early, but whatever.

The story goes on. The main character does better in the sports festival, but not by any measure good. His friend finds a mentor, a character popular. Much warmer than the blond's mentor. The girl gets a really good mentor, a top tenner.

And then they start to get really good. They're used to training now, and getting it all bit individually and together. The mentor is motivated as of by fury, pushing more and more. And the main character grows to reach it.

Another year. They're seniors, now. Just one year left before they're pros, but they're already about at that level. They're called the Big Three.

The third year is different. Chaos every few weeks. A class of first years attacked.

"Oh, because All Might is still looking for a successor among the students- checking over the freshmen but they won't be able to compare."

I hum in a way that could be interpreted as agreement.

The sports festival. Finally, real victory. They do so well, even with one anxious at crowds. And one that is seemingly allergic to staying clothed. They do well.

The chaos continues, always at the sides. The others in this universe who follow the story talk about that and the offer the top hero made. Is he getting weaker? Did that power leak somehow and now someone wants it?

The tension grows, especially for you. If the hero doesn't give the main character the power before the summer....

The main character doesn't get the power before the summer. The hero falls on tv while the blond and his friends watch in horror.

After the summer, the main character decides to meet the freshmen. You wonder who will replace a certain someone's seat, or if this is playing the original quirkless hero storyline.

When the main character challenges the class of freshmen and you see that sparking green, you seethe.

"I said I wanted Mirio to have OfA! Why is he-"

"Actually," when I speak, you cannot. "You asked for him to be the main character. He still is. A beloved one, even."

"You know what I meant!"

"Perhaps. But then you asked for another change, and so I allowed All Might to meet with him a few days before he would have in the old timeline. He had a chance, he turned it down. Why are you mad at him having his own ambitions and autonomy?"

"He was supposed to take it! He's the worthier option, and you know it."

"What makes him worthy?"

"He works hard!"

"So does Izuku."

"He worked hard before he was offered everything by All Might!"

"Yes," I will admit. "Though, that's only because he met Sir before he met All Might. Were you so focused on how slow it was going that you didn't actually watch what he was doing?"

You will not admit to anything, still angry.

"He'll get another chance." I remind you.

You huff, but the story continues on.

The main character takes a liking to the boy you despise. So does the fandom, dubbing him the cutest little kohai. He's awkward and eager and sunny, like a fusion of the main trio.

He's also impulsive, and on their first patrol together they run into who will obviously be the big bad of the arc- and his abused daughter.

The fandom is split on if the story is going to go with a "In this arc, the blond must pass his experience on patience to a boy who it all about speed and too naive" or if it's "In this arc, it's the mouth of babes- the boy will inspire the main character to do good more impulsively."

You sit and wait for it to be "the boy will finally fork over the power he's now spent over a year working to hold and use to the real main character."

The raid happens. We finally see how the main character met his best friend. It's very sweet. The girl is a lead character and gets focus on her fight too, though the two freshmen working with her don't really. There's another funky freshman boy who turns out to be more like the best friend than we thought.

Finally, we get to the main fight.

And the main character is shot, quirk erased. For good, if the villain who's really not actually that good an example of a scientist is to be believed.

"Oh. What if the former top hero offers his power again, after this arc? It's about loss but always moving on?" The fandom asks. They aren't sure if the buildup to this is better than before, but it's certainly am interesting turn, and not as controversial as the last time.

The best friend saves the day by awakening right at the perfect moment to drag the teacher in. The quirk is kinda super deus ex machina for this arc though.

At the hospital, the mentor dies. The former number one hero is there.

The fandom wonders whether to hope or fear how long he'll wait to replace the mentor and the quirk.

You wait, knowing it's soon.

Then the freshman offers his quirk, and the fandom flips again.

"We should have known!" They cry. "He had super speed and strength the whole time, maybe the sparks are from his own quirk, but it's the same power! Oh, this hurts much more than just if it had been the retired hero!"

Once again, the fandom divides. Many can't bear to see the kohai they love shoved aside after this one moment. Will be be able to use his original power? Then they won't mind the strength for the blond. Some say to wait for his power to come back. A few pipe up about the possibility of him doing it quirkless. He has trained physically too, after all these years.

"No thanks," he says again. He does smile though- just like Sir told him to- and tells his kohai that he’ll do great things with the power, just like All Might did. Tells him that he already has.

You're past the point of fury now.

"Why?" You demand.

"Keep watching." My tone is cold. "Keep watching, the next five months where he does nothing but babysit a girl in hopes she'll magically make himt not quirkless again. He doesn't even ask if he can be a quirkless hero. He doesn't even go to school to keep training. You demanded the other boy figure it out himself. This boy doesn't. He just hopes the same thing that did this to him can undo it."

You don't know what to say about that.

"Neither took it seriously in middle school. That's the nature of middle schoolers. Neither of them tried to go solo quirkless, when no support was provided. But they're both good kids. Hard workers. Heroic. They love each other, honestly, they're friends. It's sweet. And it's sad that it took me doing this for you to see it."

I shake my head.

"Sir Nighteye never saw how Mirio was much more like Izuku than All Might. That was his mistake, because he didn't know the meaning of worthy. Not that it was his choice to make even if he had. There's no magic to this. OfA isn't Excalibur or Mjölnir. All sorts of people have had it. And All Might wasn't doing much to train before he found Nana ether, as much as he got into trouble. OfA is more about connections they have to each other. It's about people's relationships. As it happens, that just doesn't include Mirio and wouldn't be at its most meaningful if it did."

"You just are too much a Deku stan and hate Mirio-"

"Accuse me of hating Mirio again, and I will leave you here." I threaten, pointing my wand at you. "Now. Did you learn your lesson?"

You grumble, but you do nod.

"Good." I say, before waving my wand one last time. You're back where you were before, not a trace of me or magic.

The lesson, though, sticks.

[himboarcher]

reasons i've seen folks say that grad critics hate grad:

they hate travis (in fairness, i’ve def seen some comments of people shitting on trav for the sake of shitting on trav, but it’s not super common and typically gets downvoted into oblivion on reddit.)

it's not balance / travis isn't griffin (???????)

they hate neurodivergent people (again, in fairness, i have seen a handful of comments that could come across this way! but most of the time when travis being ADHD or his NPD is brought up, it's by defenders saying that criticizing travis is ableist because he's neurodivergent or, in one particular comment, infantilizing him bc of it and literally comparing grad to putting a kid's artwork on the fridge. there were some comments early on that pointed to him being a narcissist as the reason for things people disliked about grad, but everyone seems to have realized that that's a shitty train of thought and left it behind.)

they're just toxic haters (again, there are a small handful of people like this because this is the internet, but the genuine criticism greatly outweighs their bullshit. i 100% think that the people, which is mostly just one dude who is also insufferable on reddit, who have been responding rudely to positive tweets under the episode announcements lately are out of line and need to stop. there's been an influx of that lately, presumably because people are frustrated that after over a year of grad going on, there's been no improvement to most of the major issues. that's still no excuse to be a dick to folks, though.)

vs some of the actual reasons i don't like grad:

the racism / racist tropes, and the way that they’ve straight up ignored this criticism and will likely never acknowledge it. pretty wild considering a core tenet of their brand is their willingness to acknowledge when they’ve messed up and do their best to course correct.

clumsy attempts at inclusion that are shallow and often end up being fairly offensive ("...ask me about my wheelchair," anyone?)

on a related note: i don't think that travis had bad intentions, but as an nonbinary person, it feels othering to me that travis only has enby characters give others their pronouns unprompted. i'm thinking specifically of kai here. having listened to their introduction, i don't think it's as bad or awkward as some people have said, but i can't remember travis ever having another NPC tell the PCs their pronouns, especially not a cis character. it's not a huge deal, but it's something that rubbed me the wrong way. admittedly, i don't think it would bother me so much if travis hadn't dropped the ball so much with performative inclusion in the past.

okay i'm putting the rest under a read more because even without getting into all of the problems i have with it, this got Long.

little to no player agency. player choices are ultimately meaningless and have little to no effect on the world. even when he seems to go along with a plan they come up with, it always ends with them having to go back to travis' pre-written script (see: subpoenaing the xorn, but not really because they had to go with travis' original plan of "send the xorn home through the rift".) the players repeatedly get told things about what they think or feel or what they've been doing to an unnecessary degree. fitzroy is the only one who really gets space to play and decide things for himself, and that's only because travis has decided he's the main character.

the NPCs are all too nice and willing to give the PCs anything they ask for and more, unless the PCs are trying to follow their own plan and then the NPCs are completely useless. but honestly, aside from gray, all of the NPCs are just.... nice. travis refuses to even let his antagonists be mean or cruel or even more than just slightly rude, because that'd be a bummer and we don't want that! the "twist" of gordy the lich king actually being polite and chill is not a twist at all because everyone is like that in this world. the NPCs are also wildly overpowered, but then suddenly absolutely useless when the PCs actually want their help.

too many cliffhangers that are dropped immediately at the beginning of the next episode. i feel bad for travis because so many of these cliffhangers actually set up good momentum and seemed like things were gonna get interesting, but almost every single time he just dropped them at the beginning of the next episode. like when althea showed up to interview the boys and the next episode started with travis being like "actually you went to sleep, she said she'll be back tomorrow!"

that time travis specifically said in his exposition dump that the thundermen left their horses behind because they thought the centaurs might be offended by them riding horses, only to later on rag on them for being surprised that the centaurs had horses they could ride.....

also the centaur arc in general, but i already listed racism above, so.

the way that the toxic positivity and parasocial tendencies in the mcelroy fandoms have made a large portion of the fandom take ANY criticism as a personal attack on travis and/or on themselves for enjoying something others consider bad, either morally or just quality-wise. it’s okay to admit that something you like has problematic elements or just isn’t as good as it once was. you can and should engage critically with the media you consume.

related to above: the way travis has handled genuine criticism, which is to throw public tantrums on his twitter or make weird passive aggressive tweets & ultimately ignore all the genuine criticism and advice he's been offered by claiming it's all subjective, even after he specifically asked for it and set up an email for folks to send in genuine, objective advice for him (after he threw a tantrum on twitter and replied to someone's criticism publicly, which resulted in his followers dogpiling on that person bc how dare they insult their internet best friend). while i was writing this last night, he actually announced that he’s taking a break from Twitter and acknowledged that he’s been using it as an echo chamber where he can easily get validation from folks, and honestly i’m happy for him that he’s recognized this problem and is stepping away for a while! i hope he’ll genuinely use this time to reflect on how he’s been behaving and find a more healthy way to use social media. i’m leaving this point in because i think his Twitter being such a positive echo chamber was encouraging him to do stuff like this, and him somewhat acknowledging his behavior doesn’t mean it can no longer be discussed.

rainer. extremely cool concept in theory and i was very into it until that awkward "does anyone want to ask about my wheelchair?" moment. also when travis had her use her mobility aid to RAM INTO A DOOR instead of just fucking knocking???? also all the times travis has tried to force a romantic relationship between her and fitzroy, despite fitzroy displaying no interest in her in that way. also, just to clarify: as an ace person, i don’t think this is aphobic! (and it’s kind of a stretch to call it that imo, especially since griffin never explicitly said that fitzroy's aromantic!) i just think it’s weird and awkward and a little uncomfortable for me personally, mostly because it reminds me of the times i’ve been in similar situations.

less of a problem than a lot of the other stuff and more just bad writing, but the forced emotional moments. in general, nothing in grad feels earned (why are the boys heading a war? when they have multiple actual heroes with combat experience on their side and a supposedly powerful secret organization? and the thundermen are like 21 years old max and have only had like ~10 fights in the entire campaign?) but there've been a couple times where travis has tried to force unearned emotional moments, presumably because he knows people enjoyed those with the last campaigns. but the difference is that in balance, the big emotional moments happened because they were earned. in grad, it's just travis throwing a baby pegasus at us for a few minutes and then the next time she shows up, it's supposed to be a tearful goodbye.

there are absolutely no stakes. remember when the thundermen got told that if they left, gray would kill 10 students? and then they left and came back and it turns out that what gray actually meant was, "i'll tie ten students who are mostly nameless NPCs to a tree and throw some dogs at them that you can easily stop in time, then throw a tantrum because how dare you but i'll leave before you can really do anything to hurt me lol" travis did have fitzroy's magic get taken away, but like. it didn't really do anything? also all he had to get it back was be coerced into using drugs by an authority figure and trip in the woods?

we're told that the school is weird and the hero system is corrupt, but the world of nua is still presented as more of a liberal utopia than anything? althea getting fired because of a corrupt villain is the only time we've somewhat seen corruption, but even then, she was still allowed to get (what seems to me, anyway, but admittedly i don't know for sure bc nothing about the HOG makes much sense) a fairly important job from the very people who stripped her of her hero license or whatever the fuck heroes need?

travis doesn't actually seem to understand how capitalism or bureaucracy works and just chalks up everything to "red tape." also more on the rest of the boys than him specifically, but the "let's destroy capitalism!" thing turning into just pushing some filing cabinets over................... okay.

and one last piece of extremely subjective criticism: it's just kind of.... boring. i think a lot of people, myself included, would be willing to overlook 90% of the problems with graduation if it didn't feel like such a slog to get through.

also people saying that we can't or shouldn't criticize graduation because it's "free" is absolutely absurd for several reasons. first, something being free does not make it above criticism. second, there ARE people who directly financially support the show with monthly donations. three, there's a difference between something being free and something being not for profit. podcasting is their full time job. they make their living off of money made from TAZ and MBMBAM (and probably their other shows to a lesser extent). this not a fun home game that they are graciously recording and sharing with us. it is a product they are producing that they make money off of, both from ads in the episodes and merch & books based off of these podcasts. they have marketed themselves as professionals, and both griffin and travis have been on panels where they are marketed as professional DMs and appear alongside other professional DMs (which makes it incredibly frustrating when people say that travis is just a newbie DM and we can't criticize him because of that. if he's a newbie, then he should not be taking part of panels as a professional DM where he speaks as an expert). TAZ is free in the same way that an episode of NCIS is free. i may not pay for it directly, but the creators are paid to create it and profit off of me consuming this product. so saying we should be grateful for any mcelnoise that the benevolent good boys share with us and that we're not allowed to criticize it "because it's free" is absolutely wild.

[pandajaye]

Todoroki Family Ties (Part 9)

Characters: Enji Todoroki, Stepmom!OC!Ivy (Ivy is black btw), Child!Shoto Todoroki, Teen!Touya Todoroki, Preteen!Fuyumi, Child!Natsuo

Fandom: My Hero Academia/Boku No Hero Academia

Warnings: pregnancy, hospital, hysteria, child abuse, Aquaphobia, upset child, abusive family, neglect

“Enji, it’s okay. Please try to calm down. Everything is going to be fine.” Ivy comforted her husband, putting a hand on his leg in an attempt to keep it from bouncing so much. “I know, I know. Just a little nervous, that’s all.” He sighed, looking down at his hands while he rubbed his palms. They were the only ones in the room right now. It was cold and white everywhere apart from the delightful little flower clusters. The atmosphere was mostly quiet except for the tapping of keyboards and damp sounds of phones ringing in some of the offices.

“I mean…. what if it’s true? How could I be so careless? I should’ve been thinking clearly. I should’ve thought more about you. Things were just finally going so right and I was so distracted by excitement. So many good things were falling in to place. It’s…. It’s all my fault that we’re here today.” He brought her hand up from his thigh and kissed her knuckles. “Please, forgive me.” All she could do was smile at how nervous he was. “Forgive you for what, baby? Nothing bad has happened. Being here is a big part of the journey. It’s where our path is decided for us. I’m excited. You should be, too.”

Enji wrapped his arms around her with a tight squeeze. “You’re right. You’re absolutely right.” She always did know how to make the best of a situation that seemed frightening. Maybe it was the way of words. Maybe it was the sweet and calm voice that did it for him. Whatever it was, he was happy to be able to access it. Having her next to him was going to make this move a lot smoother, and he couldn’t ask for anything better right now.

Their moment of peace was interrupted by a nurse dressed in lovely pink scrubs. “Todoroki?” Her voice was gentle and nice as well as her smile while she patiently waited for the two to stand and follow her. On the way to their room, Ivy glanced into the rooms they passed. In one, a couple was finding out some good news. They looked excited. In another, a woman seemed to be having a good check up. And the last one was different than the other two. A woman leaned against her sad husband as she cried. The doctor also had a sad and sympathetic look on her face. Those sure were some interesting situations to witness. Which one would represent her and Enji’s?

“This room right here. Doctor Akari will be right with you.” The two parties bowed to each other before she left and they entered the room. Enji looked around the room and sighed. It was so weird to be here again. The rooms had changed a bit since the last time he was on this same floor seven years ago. ‘Wow. Seven. I’m getting old.’ He was quickly brought back to reality by Ivy. “I’m really glad we’re here today. This is good.” Her smile brought so much ease to him. How lucky is he to have someone like her.

A quiet knock on the door gathered their attention. In walked an older woman. Her hair was still a dark brown so she couldn’t have been that much older but you could see some of the age in her kind face. There was a bit of height difference between them, her being taller than Ivy, shorter than Enji of course. She carefully closed the door behind her before setting her chart on the table and introducing herself. “I’m Dr. Akari, nice to meet you today, Mr. and Mrs. Todoroki.” She shook their hands and continued. “Amazing, I never thought I’d be meeting, let alone working for the number two hero. I guess dreams do come true.” Enji blushed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Heh. Always nice to meet a fan.”

“So. We’re here for a verification today, correct? How are you feeling? Mrs. Todoroki, is this your first?” Ivy nodded. “Yes, ma’am. I-I’ve really never been in any type of situation like this before. I’m excited and kinda nervous. Sorry.” Dr. Akari held Ivy’s hands in her own. “Sweetheart. You don’t need to apologize. Being nervous is apart of this. A big part. That’s not to say that it’ll be a bad experience. It is what you make it. And I have so much faith that this is going to be an amazing and beautiful new part of your life. You’re going to be great at this.” Her smile was warm and reassuring. Maybe everything really will be okay. “Should we get this thing started?” Ivy looked at Enji and back at Dr. Akari with a grin. “Let’s do it.”

The test and results took no time at all to come back to them. “Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Todoroki. You’re having a baby.” Excitement quickly grew on Ivy’s face, brown eyes big and full of tears when she looked at Enji who hugged her tight, kissing the top of her head. “Wonderful news! Wonderful! Wonderful!” He was so energetic and happy like a child himself. The fifth child and he’s still taken aback as if it’s his first. Ivy stayed a little calmer herself. “I’m so happy. This is everything I’ve ever wanted…. A dream come true.” The doctor hugged Ivy when Enji finally pulled away. “I’m so happy for you two. You have my full adoration. I know you’re going to be an amazing mother. Before you know it, you’ll have a quirky and spontaneous bundle of joy in your arms.” Ivy froze.

‘….Quirky?’

Enji thanked the doctor a few more times before leaving and while they walked to the car, he noticed something was off about Ivy. She kept her gaze towards the ground and hadn’t said a word since leaving the doctor’s office. After a short walk they arrived at the car, Ivy got in the passenger seat and patiently waited for Enji to get in and close his door. As soon as the car door shut, Ivy broke down hysterically… “FUCK! FUCK! FUCKING! FUCK!” Honestly, it scared him a bit. She was fine a few minutes ago and now she’s upset? “IVY? WHAT’S WRONG?” She started hyperventilating, forcing him to pull Ivy into his lap and hold her. “Breathe! Breathe. Slow down. In….. Out….” It took a minute before she could match his breathing. Eventually, they were in sync and she began to calm down and got back into the passenger seat.

“Alright. What in the hell was that?” He didn’t mean to sound irritated, he was just genuinely confused about what just manifested. “I-I’m sorry but…. I-I can’t do this. I-I-I can’t be a mom.” Tears were still falling but she tried to wipe them away as fast as they came. “Wha…. What do you mean?” His brows were furrowed and his face contorted. “Enji…. I-I was so excited at first. And, I still am in some ways…. But…. what happens when…. w-when we have this child…. and they don’t have a quirk because of me? I wasn’t even thinking about it until Dr. Akari said the word quirky and all of a sudden it hit me. My child is going to be weak because of me…. They’re going to hate me. I know you want a strong child with a strong quirk but I-…. I-I can’t give you that.”

To be honest, he hadn’t thought of it either. But that was the old him anyways. He’s grown since then. Quirks aren’t everything to him anymore. Just her. Just his family. No matter what skills they had or didn’t have. He loves them in every aspect. “Ivy…. I don’t need you to give me that. I want you to be happy and healthy. I want to have this child with you no matter what happens. As long as you’re both okay, that’s what’s important. I know how I used to be. And I’m still sorry and trying to atone for it. I’m learning and growing every day because of you. I appreciate and love you so much.” His large hand held her cheek as he searched her eyes for a sign that she understood him.

A wave of safety washed over her as she leaned into his hand. So much calm after one random storm. “You’re right. You are learning. You have grown. And I am beyond proud of you. I’m sorry for my outburst. It wasn’t all about you. Being quirkless has always been a problem for me. Way before me and you. You’ve improved in ways that…. he never did.” Her gaze shifted to her feet when thoughts and feelings she had long ago returned. “Who?” When her gaze came back her eyes were brimming with tears of numb pain.“My dad….”

From a very young age, Ivy was victim to some of the most impactful abuse that young girls have suffered for centuries. Familial. Being the outcast, the one child that didn’t make the cut. Worked hard and reprimanded for occurrences out of her power. Her power. The center of everything and the reason for her suffering. More commonly known as a quirk, her ability should have been water manipulation. It ran in her family. They’ve always been connected to it all. Oceans, lakes, rain, dew, snow. A gene for telekinesis brought in from one of her great great grandparents but no one remembers which one.

“LET’S GO, LET’S GO, LET’S GO!” Nami James Emaraki, Ivy’s father, blew hard into his whistle. It’s not that common for a ten-year old to have to do burpees and laps on a Saturday morning. Especially since she’s not training for anything. “YOU SLACK AND I SWEAR ITS ANOTHER TEN LAPS!! YOU ALREADY MISSED BREAKFAST SINCE YOU WANNA SLEEP IN, I’M PERFECTLY FINE WITH YOU MISSING LUNCH CAUSE I’LL STILL EAT BUT YOU WON’T!!!!” He wasn’t kidding either. That threat wasn’t the least bit empty.

“I-” Her foot slipped and caused her to face plant. She lifted her head and a stream of blood ran from her nose. “OW! UGH! H-Help, please!” Rolling his eyes, he stomped over to her, grabbing a fist full of her hair. “Sure, I’ll help you. Usually salt water helps with things like that. Let’s get you a lot of salt water.” He looked at the pool and smiled. “How about 10 ft?” Panic flooded her entire body so quickly it almost made her dizzy. Or maybe that was from the quick face plant and loss of blood.

“N-No! Please!” Ignoring her, he began dragging her to the deep end of their pool. “I’m so sorry, I can keep going! I can keep going! Daddy I can keep going!” She couldn’t help but cry and scream for forgiveness because he always had such a terrible punishment for her. The closer they got the more she struggled. “DADDY PLEASE! PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE NO! NO-” He tossed her in with a grunt and picked up his stopwatch. “Hurry up. You don’t wanna drown, use your quirk to get out!”

But that was the issue. Ivy was quirkless. It never showed up when it was supposed to. They hoped she was a late bloomer but it wasn’t looking very hopeful. Her father and uncle did everything they can to bring it out of her. They were so close they moved into two joint houses for each of their families, between the two homes, a facility with a large indoor pool that they used to coach swimming and have opened for water sports and activities. Every child in their family has used this pool to get better at their quirks. But Ivy was the only one forced into fearing it, unlike her siblings and cousins.

The eldest children were Ivy’s older twin brother and sister who were six years older than her, as well as a male cousin four years older than her. They were taught everything with care and detail. How to swim, how to make waves, etc. Next, her cousin that was but a few months older than her. He also experienced the life of being the middle child like her. Ivy was born next. Treated like all the other kids until she reached the age where quirks usually had already appeared in their family.

Four. When the family pediatrician attempted to explain that her quirk would never come in due to an extra joint in her foot, that of which the absence of would determine if the power would ever come in. Her father was so upset when they got home, he grabbed her by the ankles and dunked her in the water a few times before dropping her in the 5 feet. Her mother stood and watched as paramedics revived Ivy, pretending very well to be concerned.

Yet, here he is now. Watching her sink as she loses oxygen. Destined to be a corpse at the bottom of the pool. But just before tragedy could wrap her up in its claws, her father washed her back onto the side of the pool with a wave. There she laid in a puddle, lungs full of water. “So damn dramatic.” Unrightfully annoyed, he preformed mouth to mouth and saved her, smacking her when she accidentally spit up water in his face. “You’re a disgusting excuse for a daughter. But just you wait, you’ll be a hero soon enough. And you’re gonna be supporting your family after we’ve been so supportive of you. Get your ass up and come inside when you’re through acting like something wrong with you.”

Nami didn’t even look back after he started walking way. He didn’t care if she ever got up. To him, she has two options in life. Become a top pro-hero. Or die. And some days, she wished he wouldn’t save her. Some days she wanted to stay at the bottom of that pool knowing she wouldn’t be able to breathe. Ivy couldn’t help but wonder, what’s the point of living if your entire family is already disappointed in you?

During lunch, her mother Eimi asked her about today’s training. “How did it go today, Ivy?” She smiled, looking between her and her father. Ivy didn’t want to answer so she kept her mouth shut. “Ivy, your mama is talking to you. Answer her.” His fist slammed down on the table. The back of her throat burned from swallowing her need to cry. “Ivy? Answer her, girl, can you not hear?!” She flinched at him raising his voice. With a quiet sigh, Ivy spoke, carefully trying not to let her voice crack. “It w-was fine, mommy. But….” She couldn’t take it anymore. She had to speak up.

“B-BUT DADDY TRIED TO KILL MEEEEE!!” Cries broke out of her throat. “CONTROL YOUR DAMN VOLUME RIGHT NOW!” He tried to grab her arm but she ducked out of the way. “MAMA I FELL AND HURT MY FACE AND MY NOSE WAS BLEEDING AND HE THREW ME IN THE POOL AND ALMOST LET ME DROOOOOOWN!!!!” Tears dripped from her chin as she trembled and sobbed. Eimi just looked at Nami and shrugged. “Well, Ivy. Maybe if you stopped pretending your quirk isn’t there, you could have saved yourself. So I don’t want to hear it.” Ivy was horrified and offended by every word out of her mother’s mouth. “WHAT? BUT MOMMY-” “THAT’S ENOUGH! YOU’RE GOING TO YOUR ROOM!” Before she could run, he grabbed her and carried her to her room as she struggled. “I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT, HATE IT, HATE IT!!” Once the door slammed close, she hugged one of her stuffed animals tight and cried. And cried. And cried. Until she cried herself to sleep.

Ivy had ever only known Hell on Earth. Her siblings before her were treated with respect. Even her baby brother and even younger baby sister got to see the best from their parents. Ivy was the one that they wanted to depend on. Their goals for her were to make her one of the most famous Pro-Heroes ever. Then use her paycheck to further their lives. She would put them on the map and be their little bank. But the older she got, the more she fought back. Until finally they realized she’d never be able to help them anyways.

Ivy was shunned and kicked out of her home. Forced to learn the way of the world. She made her way through three nice jobs and even college. Out of all the smoke and fire, she emerged through her trials and tribulations and began working at Endeavor’s agency. Her hardships didn’t end there but shortly after, everything started to work out for her.

Her past was filled with evil but it never influenced her to become a bad person even after never getting her quirk. She realized that quirks never really mattered. It was the love that she never received. Love that she’ll be giving to this baby. She wouldn’t be able to live with herself if her child ever had to go through what she went through.

The world outside was so beautiful as they drove home. She looked at Enji and smiled. He sparkled in the sunlight. Those beautiful blue eyes focusing on the road while he held her hand up and kissed it. “You’re gonna be okay, Ivy. I love you so much. You’re going to be a great mom. And, I hope i can be a great father. On the fifth try.” The reassurance made her grin. “Thank you, Enji. Thank you.”