#and while I feel better for it
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#just had a bag tantrum and sorted the under sink cupboard bag chaos#this is 2 years of people not respecting my bag organisation (isn't hard. put plastic bags inside the big bag of plastic bags. put paper#bags in big paper bag)#and while I feel better for it#thats literally like 0.5% of the mess I have to sort
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I think so many people are so deeply alienated from themselves that they have no clue how to exercise their free will and autonomy. For some, this alienation runs so deep that they are afraid of their own autonomy and humanity. It is completely understandable why one would have those feelings, but it can be worrisome.
I want to help others who feel this way, so here are small things I have done to exercise my free will:
Add "guilty pleasure" songs to playlists and actually listen to them (I have a ton of late 1990s-early 2000s music I listen to now proudly that I never listened to in the past out of shame)
Getting the décor item, bath set, bed spread, ect. in the patterns you like, even if it's "childish" (I got a dinosaur-themed wastebasket from the kids' décor section and I adore it)
Taking a new route to get to a place you go to often
Eat dessert first
Celebrate well, and often
Collect things that are "odd" or don't seem like an "acceptable" thing to collect (somebody on my "for you" page collects dandelion crayola crayons and it was so cool!!!!!!)
Incorporate one new piece in an outfit you wear frequently (e.g., a new chain, a necklace, ribbons, bracelets, ect.). Challenge yourself to add onto the outfits if you feel up for it.
Sing along to songs without worrying that you sound "good" or your intonation is completely accurate
Read a book from a genre you weren't allowed to read as a kid (comics, thrillers, mysteries, anything!)
Walk without having a specific destination or goal
Pick up a new craft without expecting yourself to master it or to ever be "good" enough. Get your hands messy.
I don't want to shame anybody for not feeling as though they have free will or that they are exempt from exercising it. However, I wanted to give ideas so that you might read this list and find your own ways to express your intrinsic autonomy and will. You deserve to be a person, to feel alive, not just living. That is what our lives are for.
#mental health#mental health support#positivity#if anybody has ideas of their own definitely include them!#i just think being stuck with this feeling that you don't have autonomy and that you ultimately aren't an equal person or a person at all..#...in comparison to other people can be a really troubling and dangerous place to be in...#...and that isn't the person's fault for feeling that way. they didn't pluck those thoughts out of thin air...#...like i have felt that exact way all my LIFE because i have been abused for. probably 2/3s of my life...#...only within these past few years have i even FELT alive. frankly it's going to take a while to repair what i have been left with...#...so i know the feeling and i want to help others feel even a LITTLE bit alive. you deserve it...#...you deserve to take in a deep breath before slowly realizing 'oh my gd this is what it feels like to be alive' and SMILE about it#i want that for you even if it is brief. even if it is small. even if it is a whisper. i want you to feel alive#unironically getting rid of the idea of 'guilty pleasures' has made my life SO much better
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crowley
#fem presenting crowley you're everything to me#as you might know I've been recovering from an injury these past few weeks which is why I couldn't draw as much as usual#been doing a bit better so I wanted to give drawing a try again#while my arm isn't back to normal yet it feels a LOT better than 2 weeks ago#which is a good sign#still gonan take things easy of course#good omens#good omens fanart#crowley#fem crowley#why was one of teh suggestions for that tag fem crocodile#I'll have to look that up#david tennant#crowley fanart#aziracrow#aziracrow fanart#my art#fanart#my good omens art#good omens 2
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Kim Kitsuragi is a fascinating character because there's not that much fun or interesting or compelling about him. And yet somehow over the course of playing Disco Elysium the game rewires your fucking brain around him. He's the middest man you've ever seen in both appearance and personality but at some point he says something kind to you or something critical of you and you feel like you just got hit by a truck and you need his approval like you need oxygen and like how tf did this happen. what are you
#disco elysium#de#kim kitsuragi#i have an interdisciplinary degree in game design and psychology and i'm still unsure how they pulled this off#my best guess is that the early game beats you over the head with how much you suck and everyone hates you#and this allows for any genuine praise from another character to feel massive#the fact that he doesn't take pity on you ever contributes to praise from him feeling earned. like you CAN get better#whereas pity from lena or judit#while comforting#doesn't do anything to alleviate how pathetic you feel
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oh. I think my fears about Chiefcake passing from old age were more on point than I realized. she's acting very weak right now.
and it's late on a friday, when all the rabbit-specific vets have closed. I'll call around anyway to see if at home euthanasia is an option tonight.
#I didn't expect it to be this soon#she's been sleeping more and urinating outside of the litter box#so I was planning on getting her on arthritis meds to see if those helped her move around better#but tonight......I know how animals act when they're dying.#something has gone wrong inside her#god these things always happen at night when the vets have closed 💀#all I can do is stay with her and try to make her as comfortable as possible#this sucks#at least she still feels good enough to eat the apple slice I'm offering and tooth-purr while being stroked
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Hey there! Welcome to Indigo Park! My name's Rambley - Rambley the Raccoon!
#indigo park#rambley#rambley the raccoon#this is the first gifset I made in.. 3-4 years?#I could do better probably but I think it's ok for the first in a long while#STILL I feel like some look off.. kinda a bit too fast. sorry </3#tried so hard to match the speed and amount of frames#x
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too lazy to grab a ref whatever girl
#trigun#vash the stampede#checkadii#surprising myself because sitting down and drawing for an hour in fact. does make me feel better#like you like edrawing. you feel bored and bad when you dont draw because you have fun while drawing . why are you surrpised youre havng fu#sighhh#goodnight (unlikely will be sleeping soon) i dont want to go to uni todayy (its midnight)#have not been enjoying this class since the whole friend group thing#o well#we look forward to the vw roadtrip playlist mini anthology at the con and we ball
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
Plain-text version:
Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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Mourning what's not lost
#tf2#team fortress 2#tf2 scout#scout tf2#team fortress#artists on tumblr#my art#I've listened to aishite ita no ni by maretu a billion times while drawing this because nothing suited the mood better#relatable right?#I mean the drawing not the music choice#feeling angry today. so angry i'm about to cry.#scout in situations#“I had loved you. Even though I had loved you. I'll treat you like this- like the traitor you are.”#“I had loved you - even though I had loved you - This whole time...”#right???#tf2 fanart
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quick non joke to practice anatomyyyy real quickkkk
#i didnt say anything abt perspective though 😏 LOL#a doodley#+ then half inspired by being in daydream world and struck by grief while imagining the mentioned scenario and those circumstances were so#funny to me that i ended up feeling better pretty quickly after#like ohhh ok <3 yay <3#also obviously [self] would be included in such activities... he just doesnt drink
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like mother, like son, but less wholesome this time?
(I couldn't decide whether or not to put them together, so have them in all the different ways!)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 6 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 6 spoilers#if i had a nickel for every time a draconia ob'd while trying to save lilia#and had to be taken out by a member of this one specific bloodline with sparkly celestial hair that a fairy blessed#et cetera and so on you know the rest#i mean we know it's going to end better this time but y'know. the parallels!#oh meleanor my beloved#of course...of course she ob'd...it makes sense...#everything about this whole situation just massively sucked for everyone huh#well at least silver's biodad felt guilty about killing her i guess#i dunno i'm just havin' some feelings about all of this#lilia had both the absolute worst and absolute best things about his life come out of all this#down the two great loves of his life and also his job and reputation and 200 years of his life and uhhhh kind of everything else honestly#up some kids though!#(also one of those kids is a baby dragon who is JUST the right size to put silly hats on)#they were worth it to him! or maybe they were worth not giving up? look i am DEEP in the blorbosauce right now#if you don't want to read emotional tags about lilia twistedwonderland then don't come to egophiliac.tumblr.com
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Apron!
#art#oc#my art#furry#anthro art#furry art#original character#cate#this outfit is really cute and i want to draw it again eventually but like better#i feel like aprons imply baking and while i like cooking i don't really have any experience in baking... so i feel like imposter syndorme#but wtf am i supposed to wear cooking “beef over rice” yk?
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Dcxdp where Danny has been working with a hero team (did Bruce adopt him? Did he help the teen titans and got told to join them? Idk) for less than a year, maybe they knew eachother for longer, but Danny has been living with them for some months.
Now, I imagined this as a "Danny has to flee to a different dimension after a giw attack/reveal gone wrong" but it can work with other scenarios, the important thing is, death days are important for a ghost's wellbeing, but nobody knows/remembers Danny's deathday or that it's important to commemorate the dead. Maybe he hasn't told anyone yet cause he doesn't want to be a bother, or doesn't trust them enough yet.
So Danny takes the matter on his own hands, each year he goes to a quiet corner of the local graveyard, where he has a piece of marble and a small vase, he usually buys some flowers for his memorial grave and makes some fudge as an offering.
This year wasn't gonna be different, he told his team/family that he was gonna spend the day out, he chose an elegant but comfortable outfit, made some fudge, and saved it on the fridge with a note that said "phantom, do not eat".
The next part might work better with a young hero team, cause despite the note, someone took a bite of the fudge for breakfast.
Danny clearly gets mad, they didn't know, but they just ate an offering, a great offense to the dead it was offered to.
It all ends in a big fight, Danny doesn't want to admit that it was an offering for himself (it just hurts to admit that nobody remembers his death), and the other person thinks he's just having a tantrum over some fudge, like, c'mon, they can make you some if it's SO important to you 😒
And I don't know how to end it cause it came to me while falling asleep and don't remember more T-T
#i know there was a thing where Danny's fraid bonds shattered and he just runs away while the team is like#what just happened why do i feel like my family just died#want them to go running to find phantom and when they finally find the little makeshift grave they get so sad#and danny is nowhere to be found#either cause he has to go to the zone to heal or is too weak or sad and hid on the artic or something#when they finally find him there's tearful apologies and promises to not only do better. but improve communication so -#- this doesn't happen again#dcxdp#dcxdp prompt#dcxdp crossover#WOKE UP CRYING CAUSE OF THIS AJSHSHHSHZJA
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(From the body swap AU)
Hii! I'm very happy to see that my body swap comic was so well received, so here's a little something as a thanks for all the support <3
I'm excited to keep sharing my drawings, I hope you like what I make!
#Aand that's how Rulie ended up insisting on keeping Lege's bag lol#They're besties your honor. He wouldn't trust his entire inventory to anyone else xD#This time I had less pages to worry about so I hope this feels a bit less rushed. I'm still figuring this out tho#I also need to learn how to properly draw them bc this has been a struggle lmao#Hyrule's also stressed about the situation he's just been doing a bit of a better job at hiding it lul#Oh they don't know what's coming <3.#Anyways it feels so wrong to draw “Hyrule” with a scowl 😭#I like drawing his hair mirrored specially since it helps make it more different from Legends but it's so hard to draw it from the long side#This is a mess I have no idea what to call them#I confuse myself sometimes while making these lmao#lu legend#lu hyrule#linked universe#lu fanart#body swap au#Ig I'll tag it like that#offmozzart#I thought about kinda spreading all my ideas over time so as to no overdo it so quick ig (+not going crazy over drawing the same characters)#but rn I'm excited to draw them out so I need to take advantage of that
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yes & no by Natalie Wee | Trigun Ultimate Overhaul
#THIS HAS BEEN COOKING. FOR TWO MONTHS#trigun#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d. wolfwood#vash#wolfwood#trigun maximum#mine#edit#trimax#trigun edit#tw suicide mention#for that one line#and#tw blood#hopefully there's nothing else I'm forgetting#long post#i guess#pls feel free to critique me on the alt texts I've never done it before and would love to know what I can do better#but uhhh yeah otherwise. enjoy my baby. I'm very proud of this#I do however need to not look at it for a while now#so aside from the IDs if there are mistakes. no there aren't <3#AND THANKS TO MY QPP EEE FOR LISTENING TO ME ENDLESSLY WORK ON THIS AND OFFERING ME INPUT AND CRITIGUE!!! <3333#god. it's finally done#edit: btw I could write so much on my choices in this and what I'm going for and little details. but I leave it to the masses to interpret
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What If… Damian Believed Tim?
Imagine this: Tim Drake, standing alone in his belief that Bruce Wayne is still alive. Everyone else—Dick, Alfred, even the League—thinks he’s grasping at shadows. But Damian? Damian listens.
Not because he trusts Tim. Not because they’re friends (far from it). But because Damian knows one thing: Tim is never wrong when it matters.
It gnaws at him. The grudging respect he holds, born from Ra’s al Ghul’s own words, calling Tim a detective worthy of his respect. And now, Damian’s watching as Dick dismisses Tim’s theory. It feels… wrong.
So, Damian makes a choice. He doesn’t scoff. Doesn’t fight. Instead, he stands beside Tim, unyielding. Not as allies, not even as friends—but as two sons who refuse to give up on their father.
Tim’s solo mission becomes their mission. Night after night, they search, fight, and piece together a puzzle no one else believes in. And somewhere along the way, between shared glances and unspoken words, they stop being rivals. They start becoming brothers.
Because sometimes, belief is the strongest tether. And sometimes, it takes the least likely person to believe in you to bring you back from the edge.
#tim drake#damian wayne#batfam#reluctant allies#yes damian hated tim and tim hated damian but i think damian would still have some reluctant respect for tim#because he's heard what ra's says about him and how much he praises tim for being even a better detective than his own father#so if he sees tim make such outrages claims while dick completely dismisses him and casts him out of the hero community#well he cant help but feel like dick is making a mistake#imagine damian being involved with all of tims crazy scenarios from his robin run
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