#and whether the feelings or straight man facade will appear in all aspects of just voice or expression

[mlobsters]

I fear my brain now has latched on to this Reese Finch developing dynamic and I'm compulsively grabbing clips in case I wanna make gifs 😔

[nightswithkookmin]

Hi I just want to ask something. Do you think Jungkook has been always like/love Jimin the way he is before or just when he started to glow up. I'm just asking this bc you know Jungkook has been always rank Jimin last on looks or said he look different without makeup before. I know he didn't meant harm to Jimin but do you think Jimin has been trying to look good and go on extreme diet to be loved by Jungkook or Jungkook has been always trying to hide his feelings for him but act tough

Huh?...

What an interesting question....

For a moment there I thought I had already discussed this in my blog posts? Chileee.

Now you'd have to specify which period in time you consider a glow up point for Jimin. Do you mean the period of 2014/15 when he was starving himself, passing out on stage and bleeding through his nose to stay anorexic? *Side eyeing you.

To me, Jimin's 'glow up' coincided with their debut in 2013. Those fine abs, sculpted muscles yet soft toned feminized features- sorry Jimin, you weren't fooling no one.

This was also the period I noticed JK showing overt signs of sexual and emotional attraction towards Jimin. Jimin just seemed oblivious to it. And he would begin his own whipped journey around 2015/16 in my opinion.

Personally, I believe JK fell first for Jimin and 'turned' him- turned for lack of a better word. I don't buy into this whole Jimin fell first JK fell harder rhetoric.

But I think JK's interest in Jimin began long before this period. I don't think Jk had fully grasped the concept of his own sexuality much less to have come to terms with it in any time before 2012- before Jimin arrived in Bangtan- ok maybe he had a vague idea of it, but I do believe Jimin was his sexual and romantic awakening.

Jk and Jimin have two very distinct and opposite idol personas. I keep saying this.

Since we don't know them in person, I think it's safe to assume every aspect of them we experience on screen is a persona.

That persona is a facade, a curated wall on which they project bits and pieces of their true self and often put up a performance of this identity for our consumption.

In Jk's persona, he likes to retract and conceal aspects of his true personality and censor himself a lot while JM likes to amplify and exaggerate his true personality and put up a performance of it.

As I've said, it's mainly due to their backgrounds. JK was given a lot of leeway in his upbringing which he feels puts him at a disadvantage because he ends up exposing himself too much. Thus he likes to retract and hold himself back.

Jimin coming from a conservative background with many rules and what not revels in the new found freedom Idol life gives him so often he doesn't hold back as much as JK does. But that doesn't mean that who they really are in real life.

So often you'd hear people say Jimin looks more serious in person than he does on camera while JK is said to be more expressive than he usually is on camera.

But here is the thing, concealing his feelings is not JK's nature it's his choice. And this is very important to note. He chooses not to do certain things on camera while Jimin chooses to do certain things on camera.

So when JK is not showing his feelings for Jimin it's not because he can't show those feelings, it's more like he doesn't want to show those feelings.

Thus when people say he wasn't showing his feelings for Jimin because he was shy I raise my brows- Shy my ass. Lol

Was he acting tough then? Hmmmm. He likes to act tough no two ways about that. I've said he has a good poker face between him and Jimin. If you are not careful you might think he doesn't like Jimin. But trust me, that man is whipped on god.

But I don't think that's what he was doing in those early dynamics.

I think he was hesitant in pursuing Jimin openly at the time because he wasn't sure about Jimin's sexual orientation much less whether or not Jimin reciprocated the feelings he had for him.

And you could tell not knowing these about Jimin terrified JK a lot, hence his hesitation.

But later when he was certain of both he became more confident in the way he expressed himself and his feelings for Jimin.

Prior to this you could see him fishing and testing the waters with Jimin, slowly pushing Jimin's boundaries- a gentle touch here, a lingering stare there.

He would often pay attention to the things Jimin would say but especially about his romantic and sexual preferences. Like when Tae said he felt Jimin liked men and when Jimin was asked about why he liked JK and JK seemed like he wanted to know.

Then he went through that phase where he seemed obsessed with Jimin's reaction to when other guys sexualised him and expressed interest in him. He seemed very attentive to these little details in a way that seemed to me as if he was fishing for confirmation that Jimin actually liked men and liked him- in a nonplatonic manner.

I feel Jimin noticed these things too in JK but was mostly fascinated by it. So often he would go out of his way to express his sexuality, exaggerate it and perform it as if to let JK know he was ok with JK liking him in that kind of way. Often, you'd see him egging JK on to touch him where JK seemed hesitant, reassuring JK- I think y'all know the bit I'm talking about. I feel JM wanted JK to feel comfortable expressing his interest in him- he ain't slick.

I've said Jimin's persona is a performance. I can see how to JK that could be very confusing. Hell, half of the fandom still read Jimin wrong to this day. Is he gay, bi, straight, a woman, a man, bigender- it's a lot of questions. Legitimate questions.

And I think for JK, seeing Jimin behave like the rest of BTS with the skinship towards him was equally confusing. So often he would shy away from it. Jk was going through puberty, everything was heightened for him.

It's also important to consider the possibility that, if JK was LGBTQ plus that he was going to hide it and not come out to his bandmates for as long as he worked with them- because it's none of their business first and foremost but also because it would have affected their attitudes towards him.

I mean look at the fear and panic with which they greet Jikook when Jikook breath anywhere near eachother in public spaces- not to call them out or anything but I don't think if they were straight that they were going to treat them same. I mean Taejin is as wild as Jikook but.... sigh.

So then going on to catch feelings for one of such said band mates who gives off queer vibes, he had better be sure about him before coming out to him and confessing to him lest he risked his career and friendship with him.

If Jimin wasn't LGBTQ plus it would have been cruel of him to act the way he does with JK honestly. For instance Joking about marriage knowing full well the fight LGBTG plus couple have to put up to have this basic human right- of course JK would yeet himself out of that conversation. I'm talking about that Jikook Vlive and all the time JK has squeezed his face disgruntledly when Jimin has asked him to have his kids- like why Jimin!

Jimin I feel because he is Bi whatever doesn't take this gay business seriously at all. If you've ever dated a bisexual you'd know the feeling. He is my bias and I love him but God he frustrates me for Jk honestly.

What annoys me most is I know how deep he is into JK. Like I've never seen a man so in love with another man in my entire queer life! Like shut up whippidy whipped ass we saw your face at Manila. You like that man. You like him.

Let JK put up a front and you'll see this tactless homegirl descending into that space we all hate so much and embarrassing himself left right left clinging on to JK seeking validation and reassurance- like can you be serious in your life for once Park Jimin. 😒

Anywho, I went off on a tangent there. Sorry.

But yes, this is another aspect of their dynamic I feel most people get twisted. Jimin enjoys JK's expressions of interest in him- however way he does it. Jk enjoys it too when Jimin shows him he wants him. Remember magic shop? Show me, I'll show you? And that line JK sang to Jimin that made Jimin nervous on Live with VMin? Yea...

They love each other and they love when the other is showing and expressing their love. Hell, isn't that why they are constantly trying to find creative ways to communicate their love? 5/8, love letters punctuated with sorries? Chileee.

Could Jimin's look be a contributing factor to JK liking him? Let me put it this way. People are attracted to people for a plethora of reasons, physical appearance being one of them.

Looks attract people, emotional connection binds them and make them stay. I have said this time and again JK is attracted to all of Jimin-looks, everything. When asked which part of of Jimin he liked most he put all of Jimin as the answer.

With regards to JM's weight, I think the tears he shed on stage during the performance of I Need You says it all. Jimin was killing himself and it was killing JK. Jimin wasn't doing all that out of self love much less for the love of JK.

He was doing all that because he wanted to be an Idol in every sense of the word. He was killing himself for his career. A career JK was once willing to walk away from and JM advised him to stay.

Jk defies the dictates of his career with the piercings and tattoos and gay pubs- the emphasis is mine. Y'all think he is about to be demanding of his life partner to look like what now? Chileee.

And when JK was starving himself and losing weight who was it that brought him down that ledge? Jimin. If it was a positive thing I thing he would have encouraged him.

Jk allegedly called Jimin his Mochi in that infamous graduation night track video. Did you see his reaction to when James Corden called Jimin Mochi? Baby fat cheeked Jimin was cute not ugly. And even if you think he was, JK still found that attractive. Jimin could be looking like my Aunt Becky and Jk would still fuck him.

Have you seen JK freeze frame to take snapshot photos of Jimin? It's almost always pictures of Jimin looking like the wicked witch of the west. He loves him some park Jimin memes. Loves that man to death.

How many times have he said Jimin looks beautiful without makeup? Remember the Vlive Jimin didn't want to be on camera because he didn't have makeup on? What did JK say?

Jk isn't a shallow person you know. He really isn't. He doesn't strike me as the kind at all. Questions like these presupposes that JK is a vain shallow person who only likes people for their looks. Don't get me wrong, it's a valid question, one that I'm happy to discuss but it also exposes the biases against JK and indirectly, Jimin.

Do you feel JK is shallow? I find a lot of people do and it breaks my heart.

Have you heard any of his songs? His GCFs?

He barely idolizes his subject matter's looks and appearances. You gave me the best of you, so I'll give you the best of me. What I found in you is real. That's doesn't sound shallow to me.

They work in a highly competitive and highly vainglorious environment. I think they know more than anything the dangers of vanity- it's fleeting. They put themselves through so much to appease the vanity matrics, to subject people they love through the same.

I've talked about how because JM comes from a demanding home and work environment that acceptance is one key aspect of his love language. He wants a person who loves him for who he is and accepts him without placing expectations on him.

If JK was this shallow JM wouldn't honestly have found him attractive much less love him to begin with. He wouldn't have found fulfillment and nourishment from JK. He loves JK because JK's values and upbringing makes him the perfect person for him to trust himself fully to.

Besides, for JK to be only attracted to JM because he glowed up, he himself must have been a ten from the onset which he wasn't let's be honest- no shade to him but he wasn't exactly packing now was he?

BTS are pretty but they've all undergone hefty transformations throughout the years, magic foreheads and all. So if you wonder if Jimin's glow up contributes to JK liking him, then you'd have to wonder if Jk glowing up also contributed to Jimin finding him attractive- it's a vicious cycle.

As for JK ranking Jimin last... did he ever rank himself first? No. He ranked Jimin last and himself second to last consistently. If he found Jimin unattractive he certainly found himself as equally unattractive only one step above Jimin.

I honestly think he was just teasing Jimin. He loves teasing Jimin because it's how he flirts with him. It's just the masculine energy in him I guess. V does this too when he flirts with Jimin. He teases him about his pinky, his Mochi cheeks and his glow up- Iland anyone?

Why y'all think JK looked away sharp when JM dropped to the floor?? He recognized what V was doing- don't mind me. I'm trolling. Lol. But deadass.

Jimin teases JK too by acting like he is available most times. It's the feminine energy in him. Girls like to tease their crush by amplifying their sex appeal. What better way to amp up your sex appeal than by having other people show interest in you? Jimin is a tease. Bless him.

Besides, when JK ranked Jimin first in looks he ranked himself last. I hope y'all don't think it's because he has low self esteem?

He ranked himself and Jimin last because he wanted to humble himself and by extension Jimin because he sees himself as Jimin's equal and as such recognizes their place as the youngest within the group. As he has explained, as the youngest, he places everyone else above him.

I honestly don't think Jungkook had always been interested in Jimin. But somewhere along the line while he came to terms with his own sexuality he began developing feelings for Jimin. His glow up had nothing to do with it. In my opinion.

I think Jimin caught him off guard? It's that red string serendipity destiny voodoo working its magic that orchestrating their love. In my opinion.

I don't think either of Jikook went searching for this love thingy either as I keep saying. It wasn't planned, it wasn't foreseen, it just happened to both of them but at a different pace.

I hope this helps?

Signed,

GOLDY

[ksbwnotes]

Chapter 2

1. Oof

I’m sure, even after being told about this ‘relative’, Sangwoo kept it cool and didn’t tip off anything to the police, acting like “OH RIGHT MY RELATIVE THAT I HAVEN’T SEEN IN A FKKN DECADE”. It comes to show that he is incredibly calculating and intelligent, able to keep a facade on to an artform. This was probably something he has been able to do ever since he was a child, as we’ll later witness in his flashbacks.

Later Sangwoo says “you might as well have said you were my brother”, which is meaningful because Sangwoo doesn’t have one. So every relative Sangwoo knows is just as nonexistent as his nonexistent sibling.

2. I find this important to note

Bum obviously is prone to putting people on pedestals, only seeing them through the rose tinted glass he wants to see them in.

3. Why this though?

I find it very interesting that, because he doesn’t want to die, what he yells out is “I FELL IN LOVE!”  Why this? I’m sure he’s also used this an excuse for the others he has stalked (I wonder if Sangwoo ever realized that Bum also stalked women and how he felt about that), but it most likely never worked with them. 

Bum was just spouting whatever came to mind, so the fact that the word ‘love’ is what jumped out of him says a lot of how much it has been consuming his every being, even in the face of death.

4. s;jgio;sejro;gisejro;igerj wtf sangwoo

...I...well. I mean, it’s a great parallel, I think. Bum’s desperation for love making him yell that as his last words, while Sangwoo’s desperation for that same love making him stop in his tracks and even...fucking pet Bum???  I dunno, lonely or not, that wouldn’t be the first response of a completely not-gay-straight-as-an-arrow man. But obviously, Bum is a cutie pie and can appear feminine, which is why Sangwoo didn’t automatically kill him. If Bum looked like a ‘man’, then there would seriously be no saving Bum. 

And I’m sure Koogi meant to emphasize Bum’s feminine attractiveness in that petting panel, maybe as a way to show what Sangwoo was seeing. I love how it’s purely white and blank behind Bum, as Bum is all Sangwoo is seeing. The fact that it’s white rather than black can suggest that Bum could be a new beginning, something pure and untainted.

I do kinda wonder if Koogi had Sangwoo as straight as a way to mitigate the stigma against homosexuality???  As a way for her to say “just because the story is between two men doesn’t mean this is supposed to be representative of homosexuality itself”.

5. Wow, the whiplash of mood and quick thinking

Boy didn’t even fkkn hesitate to destroy Bum’s legs, goddamn. 

However, this does show that Sangwoo is very aware and his mental faculties are intact, even during times like these. You think he’d be fkkn furious and lose it, beating Bum to death automatically before Bum could even say anything. But Sangwoo doesn’t. The moment Bum says “love”, he stopped. He wasn’t in a haze of fury...maybe excitement (especially with that goddamn terrifying smile as Bum runs up the stairs), but even that was controlled. 

In away, Sangwoo just seems...tired. He’s moving only because he knows he has to. 

Also, the moment he says “not with your legs the way they are”, Sangwoo sees Bum the same way he has seen the women who’ve also been in the basement. The CEO daughter girl also had broken legs, so obviously the first thing he does is ruin their legs so they don’t run away...which...yeah, smart. I actually haven’t seen that even with Criminal Mind. xD

So that does show that Sangwoo seems really set in keeping his prey with him. Not to ‘chain’ them or anything, but to keep them from leaving him. 

6. Double homicide

Ooooh 3 years ago?? Okay this is interesting...conscription age is 18 (or 17 since Koreans add that one year). I’m confused because, technically, Bum should’ve met Sangwoo first in the military, then in his college days. So did Sangwoo go to military later at age 20?  Could be since his mom is...yeah. And his dad...sure. 

Also, Bum and Sangwoo are four years apart. So say that Sangwoo went to college first, so Bum met Sangwoo when he was 22...then while Sangwoo was 20 and Bum was 24, they went into the military later. Since Sangwoo is 24 now (or 25 in Korean age jfc), that means he was 21 when his parents were killed. 

Sangwoo also seemed to have needed to be discharged early, most likely because of his sick mom, which would explain also why he was in no position to befriend Bum. 

Anyways, so that means Bum knew Sangwoo and was in love with him for about 6 years.

7. Wow

No wonder Sungbae is like this. He sees the eyes of every person he chased in Sungwoo’s dead-eyed stare. But he’s actually wrong about this, lol. Sungwoo’s mom is the culprit, technically, even though she was also a vicitm.

8. UHHHHHHH

HEY, SANGWOO, HEY, WHY IS BUM FKKN NAKED TO HIS UNDERWEAR WHAT THE HELL. WHY DID YOU UNDRESS HIM SANGWOO. HEY.  

Oh my god, wait, was that really Bum’s underwear or did Sangwoo put that on him??

Also, wow, Bum’s hips. He seriously has a feminine body. Like...pear body shape lol. 

Also, seriously, Sangwoo is treating Bum right off the bat like the other women. Rather than completely heterosexual, Sangwoo is more demisexual. And rather than femininity, he more prefers ‘weaker’ bodies, so that he doesn’t feel threatened by them. That is automatic towards females. 

9. Hmmmmn....

Ah, for this to be the first thing you fucking wake up to, jesus christ. xD

I wonder though, why did Sangwoo cut her hair short? There’s probably multiple reasons for it...but one theory I would find interesting is that it’s because he met Bum. 

Maybe he wanted to see how she looked like with a male haircut, how it would look like and compare how it felt like to see a pretty girl beside a pretty boy. He compared the two physically and made his decision that Bum was worth more than her.

I really do find it interesting that Sangwoo truly chose Bum over her, despite her being voluptuous and beautiful and actually a woman, which...you know...important for het men right. 

But Sangwoo chose Bum because even though Sangwoo went straight to beating him with a goddamn bat, Bum yelled “I FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU”.

If the choice was between what’s between the person’s legs vs the person themselves, Sangwoo will choose the person.

10. Interesting insight

Into why Sangwoo killed her and his thought process.  Again, interesting, the fact that he kept emphasizing how stupid she was. 

Her screaming for help and stuff is a very natural reaction and no one should ever blame her for that. But, for Sangwoo, it was ridiculous because she should’ve known that would piss him off more rather than make him feel guilty. 

Part of it is how he learned to survive growing up--by reading his parents’ moods and figuring out how to respond. And on a smaller scale, how to respond to other people so that they see nothing but a charming, handsome man. The fact that she can’t even do 1/100th of that is fucking infuriating...and on a personal level, I can understand that frustration.

The other part is that her begging for mercy is obviously NOT what he wants. He wants someone like Bum, who’ll respond to him with loyalty and desire. Who won’t be afraid of him and will still stay to ease his loneliness. 

11. Uh

What kind of half-baked excuse was this, bro. You spared him only because of what he yelled out to you and you just don’t want to admit it to yourself...or maybe just don’t want to say it to Bum, so that you can control him better.

12. Women have hair too, asshole

Sangwoo really does try to feminize Bum throughout the whole story. So obviously, yes, his instinct is more hetero. If Bum were burly like a guy rather than delicate like a girl, there would be no saving him. Sangwoo has his preferences. And Bum fits the most important aspect--and that most important part isn’t Bum’s genitalia.

I also do think it has to do with social construct. Sangwoo most likely grew up internalizing misogynistic and homophobic belief systems, whether or not those are what he truly agreed with.

13. The first time Sungwoo snaps

Notable to mention that it’s because he sees Bum trembling in fear of him. Sangwoo doesn’t like being reminded of the monster he is. He doesn’t take pleasure in it. But because he knows that he’s unforgivable and can’t go back, he just makes the situation worse by further slipping into the skin of a monster.

Honestly, this might be more indicative towards what he witnessed with his father. He’s emulating his father’s qualities because he knows that he’s no better than him, and can’t handle that fact. He’s also locking up his women THE SAME WAY HIS FATHER DID TO HIS MOM. 

But, honestly, I think it’s because his mom is just as bad as his dad, that’s why he’s doing the same things as his dad.

14. You beat the girl

This is indicative of the fact that Sangwoo would be willing to be with Bum despite being a guy. And also suggests that, again, he really was comparing them and decides that Bum, with all his ‘loser’ like qualities, is still worthier than her. Heterosexual first, but demisexual overall.

And again, I think he’s doing the same things he has seen his father has done, pouring the food over Bum’s face like that.

15. First reward

Ah, here comes the training. 

Also, I can see how differently Bum responds compared to every single person he’s seen, including his mom. They all will feel humiliated and resentful, hateful towards Sangwoo, seeing him as a monster, or being completely defeated. But Bum, instead, responds exactly the opposite. This is exactly why I think Sangwoo decides to kiss Bum. 

Because, despite Sangwoo calling him a retard, that is exactly what Sangwoo wanted to see (but at the same time, not...Sangwoo doesn’t want someone as messed up as Bum, but he knows that only someone as messed up as Bum can be with him, and more than anything, he doesn’t want to be lonely). 

If Bum reacted with fear rather than desire, Sangwoo would’ve never kissed Bum.

This is also a huge catch-22 that will end up blowing up on both of them. Bum reacting like this will make Sangwoo feel better about his actions and like he was able to find the person who’ll be able to accept him for who he is. But in the long term, it will reinforce this behavior and truly make him into his father. It will also keep him from truly dealing with his past. 

16. Oh goddamn

Great insight into Bum’s mentality.  It’s amazing, also, that he sees this as a sign of ‘dating’.

What I find telling is that Bum is thinking this DESPITE SEEING PROOF OF HIM BEING A MURDERER. I do get that it could be from his dissociation from real life, so he doesn’t quite understand what is going on. But at the same time, really, if Sangwoo treated Bum better, then Bum would’ve been absolutely fine with him being a serial killer and even join him. I honestly do believe Bum is more of a natural-born murderer than Sangwoo (though Sangwoo is probably more of a natural asshole lol).

17. Why are you also mentioning the word date!?!?

And I’m not sure if Sangwoo senses that those are Bum’s thoughts, but he also is thinking about dating in this context??

I can see how Sangwoo could’ve ‘read’ his prey and responded in a way that would’ve messed with their heads, but at the same time, it could be that Sangwoo is looking at this situation in just as much a twisted way as Bum is. But rather than Bum’s “I’m disgusting, yet he’s kissing me” mentality, he’s more likely thinking “Kissing him isn’t disgusting, so he passes round 3″ (round 1 is the first time with the bat, round 2 is the one where he kills the girl instead of Bum).

The thing is, since Sangwoo didn’t find Bum’s kisses disgusting, it reinforces his desperation to keep Bum with him. If he didn’t like kissing Bum, then I truly believe Bum would’ve died right here and now.

Also, interesting: “You’ll be the only one that ends up hurt, you know?”  So, obviously, Bum having one working leg increases his chances of escape. So this is Sangwoo’s way of saying ‘if you escape, then I’ll make sure to hurt/kill you because of that’.

18. Here comes the sledgehammer

This is an interesting parallel. Looking back at chapter 1, it also seems like only one of the girl’s legs are broken, like how Bum’s leg was after falling down the steps. 

So to keep the girl from escaping, Sangwoo just most likely tied her up. It’s not full-proof and it limits her movements, but Sangwoo probably doesn’t give a shit because with how she’s acting, she wasn’t going to live much longer. 

But for Bum...with Bum, he’s planning to let him live much longer. He doesn’t want to restrict Bum’s movements because that makes him less appealing. Instead, Sangwoo takes it personally--takes it upon himself--to actually break Bum’s legs. This is a much more permanent fixture, reflecting how he’s planning to keep Bum with him for a much longer time. 

Also, now that I’m looking at this, I think Sangwoo doesn’t actually rape his victims. Yeah, he has molested the girl’s dead body, but I think that’s more of a curiosity towards a dead body than actual sexual interest. It’s natural after seeing his mom’s corpse in front of him and all that...screwed up as fuck jazz lol. 

I think he has sex with them in the beginning and that’s probably when he snaps because...his mom raped him, so. After that, he tortures them according to their reaction to him. But he probably doesn’t actually touch them more than that. In the case of hypersexuality, Bum fits this much more than Sangwoo does at this point. Sangwoo seems to just use it as a weapon, while Bum does it because he wants to be fucked. 

This makes sense because it seems like Sangwoo was raped once by his mom and probably molested the other times, while Bum was frequently raped.

Furthermore, Bum--as we’ll later see--is most likely the only one he truly does rape. 

[squidpro-quo]

Sunshine

AN: I went with the ‘beloved, sought after’ aspect of the prompt, and finally wrote that one engagement dagger vignette that I’ve been meaning to for about a year! Coming up with six different knives was tough, but the ot3 demands it :P

Shirayuki stared at the blade in her hand, fingers tracing the filigree across the hilt and imagined using it to clean stalks and extract seeds while she smears dirt across its fine etchings. The grip was carved in the shape of a tulip, the flute of it spreading at just where her palm ended, as if it were made to fit in her hand alone. Which, knowing Zen, was within the lengths he’d have gone to have it made for her. It’s as beautiful an engagement dagger as any of the ladies in court could have boasted of. 

When Zen had given it to her, she’d been almost speechless with shock, not to even mention how overcome she was when Obi handed his over with a wink and a kiss. From there, she’d staggered back to the herbalist rooms and stared at them until now, quiet awe filling her as she realized what it all meant. 

Obi’s was smaller than Zen’s, but perfectly sized for cutting through even the most stubborn of roots and dragging them into the light of day. Remembering the days she’d spent sweating over the mistwort cores a few months ago, she shook her head slightly as a smile came over her in realization. Obi had come by then, during his breaks, and helped wrestle the worst of them out of the soil until there was enough for the winter’s supply. To think he’d remember that so much later, but the hooked, sharp edge was testament to just what he thought she’d be doing with it. 

“Is this a congratulations occasion? Because if those aren’t what I think they are, then I dug these fire whiskey bottles out of the back closet for nothing.” Garack’s voice interrupted her thoughts as she plonked the spirits in question onto the table and pulled her into a hug. 

“She ran by to yell it over to me,” Ryuu said from his spot behind Garack, the only part of him visible being the small bouquet of flowers clutched in his hand. Shirayuki could barely breathe from the force of Garack’s hug, but she freed one arm to touch the petals of the nearest bloom and realize just how much happiness there was inside her bursting in bubbles against her chest and making her feel lighter than air. 

“Let me see them, oh Ryuu, have you ever seen this kind of craftmanship?” Garack finally released her and stepped back to oggle the daggers in their sheaths on the table. 

“Can I borrow Obi’s sometime?” Ryuu asked, handing her the flowers and leaning over the table to eye the knives from up close. 

“Of course, I’m certain he’d be delighted it gets more use,” Shirayuki looked from the knives to Ryuu, “How did you know that one was his?”

“You can’t miss it. You’re not the only who knows Obi.” Ryuu glanced at her before looking back at the one in question. “And he asked me about the right shape for it a few weeks ago.” 

“Ryuu!” She couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her, she’d been so intent on her own efforts that she’d never thought to question what she would receive, and how much everyone else knew of their plans. 

“Where are you going to wear them?” Garack asked, pulling Zen’s from its sheath and admiring the scrollwork along its edge. “That’s an important aspect too.”

“Wear them?” Shirayuki had thought she’d researched enough about this tradition that nothing would surprise her, but there was always something else that went unspoken because of how ubiquitous the knowledge seemed. The first time she’d heard of the engagement daggers, she’d assumed it a joke until she’d seen a lady’s-maid fawning over hers with her circle of friends. 

“It’s customary to wear them, at least until the ceremony. It doesn’t have to be anywhere obvious, just so that they’re with you.” Garack grinned. “So your friends can ask to see them wherever you are.” 

Glancing down at her herbalist’s coat, she tried to think of somewhere that wasn’t her too-small pockets and her nonexistent belt. If she’d still have her hair long, she might have been able to pin it up with both of them unsheathed, but with it this short that wouldn’t do either. Gazing at the two daggers in thought, she finally alighted on the perfect idea. 

“If they made to be used, then used they will be. Who spends more time crouched near the earth than an herbalist?” She decided, sliding them into her boots, one in each. “Always within reach.”

——|-

Zen whooped as soon as he made it to the safety of his chambers. Keeping a straight face the whole way back had been about the hardest thing he’d had to do that day, his mind whirling in circles as the weight of the daggers at his waist kept him grounded. They’d barely parted ways, work pulling them apart, when he’d already paused in the corridor to fasten them to his hip and stride down the hall with more spring in his step than he could control. If he had to maintain that courtly manner the entire time, then he’d sure as hell put them somewhere they couldn’t be ignored, carrying them both with him as he did in his heart. 

He’d been turning to close the doors when they snapped closed of their own accord, pushed by Kiki and Mitsuhide from their post behind each. Their twin stares let him know in an instant that they already knew, especially as Mitsuhide’s facade was breaking at the edges as a smile poked through. 

“We’ve cleared the next half-hour,” Kiki announced, her own excitement better masked even as her eyes immediately found the two new additions to his belt. 

“What do they look like? What happened?” Mitsuhide asked, giving up on trying to hide his curiosity. 

“Have a look for yourself.” Zen carefully unhooked them, laying Shirayuki’s in Mitsuhide’s palm and offering Obi’s to Kiki, knowing she’d want to see just as much but wouldn’t reach for it out of principle. Some old fashioned customs over engagement daggers still remained, but he gladly handed it over. 

She turned it over in her hands, expertly testing the weight and finding it impeccable, nothing less than what could be expected of Obi. At first glance, it looked to be in a letter opener’s style, slim and long, with a groove that ran down the length of the blade. But the longer she held it, the more obvious it became that it was as deceptive as Obi himself was. The blade’s hilt was secured so well it could cut more than simple paper open with a single slice, it could sever an artery just as easily, or sink as deep into flesh with the same amount of force. 

Kiki hummed her approval, a smile hiding in her eyes as she handed it back with an appreciative nod. Mitsuhide took longer, marveling over the engraved handle and the slight facet to the blade, before finally understanding what it was for. It fit into the curve of the palm, aimed to pare the skin from a fruit with so fine a motion that it would remain one long, spiraling piece. Shirayuki, familiar as she was with all manner of a garden’s yields, had found a way to combine what would be needed for peeling and cutting into one knife. 

“So you’ll be taking these along next time you escape, right? They’ve thought of everything for the adventure, something to help you eat…”

“And something to help you survive,” Kiki finished Mitsuhide’s thought, both of them watching as Zen reattached the two to his belt. 

“You think I’d leave the two of them behind if I happened to go?” Zen asked, grinning from the flush of handling the daggers. He’d sometimes imagined what one would look like when he was young, more for the thrill of wielding a knife than any significance that came with it, but these held more precious heaviness to them than his sword did. 

——-|-

Obi looked down at the harbor from his perch on the roof of the tower, tossing the dagger into the air and watching it flash with the light of the sun. The crystal center of it shone like a gem, more ostentatious than anything he’d have thought to carry, but its delicate appearance belied a deadliness he’d been surprised by when Zen presented it to him with a hopeful gaze. 

He’d always ridiculed the traditions, presenting a knife to someone as a token of affection seemed laughable when he’d grown up surrounded by them and knew the blood and suffering they drew. It was twice as absurd when he’d overheard one man’s reasoning for it in a bar years ago, the idea that while giving a beautiful dagger was an obvious choice, ensuring that it remained deadly was another aspect to respect. Not only a means of protection against others, but a trust in them for protecting against yourself as well. Baring your heart to your love emotionally was not enough, but to bare it to them in the flesh was what it meant to truly give over everything. 

That trust was not something he’d ever expected, or truly wanted, for the longest time, not sure he could be either the receiver or the giver in equal parts. But now, he tipped the blade on its side, watching the liquid inside move in a viscous slide down the crystal capsule embedded in the hilt, and wondered whether Zen knew how deep it had hit him to realize the prince had offered him not one means to kill him, but two. Oh, he knew it fit him to have a poison dagger but the underlying message was one that made him feel stripped bare, raw to the soul at how it touched him. 

He lay back against the line of the roof and slid the blade back into its sheath along his right arm, under his sleeve. It would be out of sight but never out of mind, something to hold close to his skin and where he couldn’t always wear his heart on his sleeve, he would have this instead. 

Pulling Shirayuki’s out of his left, he flipped it over and over in his fingers, the edge brushing his knuckles like a caress. If he didn’t know better, the shape would remind him of an arrowhead; it was among his shortest daggers, more akin to a throwing knife with its heft and easy weight. The ribbon wrapped around the hilt was a spring green, a pattern of vines running over and under each other in a never-ending pattern that he could trace for hours and never tire of. 

The two of them, a tether tying him to both that he would never choose to cut, not with the sharpest knife, and yet they’d given him precisely that to do with as he chose. He could understand the solemn awe people would handle their engagement daggers with now, a tangible reminder that the one who gave it to him bared their soul right back. He doubted he could ever get used to that, the wild feeling of being accepted in whole and still being treasured, but he’d have a reminder of it with on the empty nights, everywhere under the moon.

[just-kessho]

Unrequited [1/5]

You used to love flowers; their vibrant colours would always make a smile spread across your face. You used to love red carnations and red roses especially, possibly more so after Sanji complimented that they bring out your beauty even more.

That was before you stared at the red pedals of the two flowers after a violent coughing session.

You used to love flowers. Red roses and red carnations especially.

[Sanji X Onesided!Reader]

[Hanahaki Disease AU]

[Modern AU but still having incorporated many aspects of the manga]

Unrequited: [Here] [2] [3] [4] [5] [Epilogue]

Over the years, there were feelings (such when you sadly shook your head and turned down Coby’s confession) and objects which weren’t returned (such as the fact that Luffy owed you 1000 Berries. More of less anyway). They never had a huge impact on you, so you brushed them off like normal.

Never would you have imagined that your own unrequited love would be one of them as you stared at the sorrowful red, scattered all over your bedroom floor, standing out against the dark oak colour.

If you were given the option of turning back time and prevent yourself from going through the painful ordeal… would you have taken it?

No.

You couldn’t. You wouldn’t.

Because… you couldn’t imagine a life without seeing your best friend differently.

Before, when time and emotions were still simple, you used to pity those who have the dreaded disease – Hanahaki Disease, as they called it. Coughing up flowers of different arrays… even if they looked pretty, even if they were you favourite flowers… it still hurts.

As they say.

You remember your friend, Usopp, coughing up strange flowers, of a pastel pink colour, when you worked on an art project with him.

It turns out that he was in love with Kaya, his childhood friend, and apparently, she most certainly did not return his feelings.

After research the long-nose announced to you (proudly that he achieved something, while it was clear it was hurting him) that he was coughing up Peruvian lilies, or in another name, Lily of the Incas.

Even without a direct confession, the Hanahaki Disease is both a blessing and a curse. A blessing when one haven’t been coughing up blossoms, destined to have a happy ending. A curse when one has been racked with painful coughs, certain that their love will never be reciprocated.

However, that proved to be untrue as you, along with the rest of your friends, congratulated Kaya and Usopp becoming a couple several months later.

There was another time, when you were much more innocent, when whispers passed your neighbourhood about the poor man who died several blocks down, because the flowers clogged up his lungs and he suffocated.

It was said that he endured it for five years.

When his funeral came, he was covered in different shade of blue, like a calm ocean. You, being the girl who was only six years of age, asked your parents if he truly was in an eternal sleep, as he looked so peaceful… even when he was alive, the only memories you had of him were smiles and the occasional chatter.

It was hard to see he was in pain.

Now, back to you.

You used to wonder, if whether you would fall in love, whether if he (or even she) was kind, or have a bad-boy attitude, whether he loves Doctor Who, or Star Wars, or even both, whether he loves flowers, or hates them.

Well, you guessed that your questions were answered. He is kind, but only to the ladies, he loves both DW and SW, he loves flowers, loves to give and receive them (unless if it’s from a male).

One time, when you held a bouquet of flowers, of carnations and roses the colour of a rich red wine, to give them to your aunt to congratulate her for getting a boyfriend, he appeared to you, strangely as if he knew where you are, and said, with such genuine emotion and tone, that they suited you.

“It brings out your inner beauty even more so [Name]-san!”

Of course, that was soon ruined when his limbs turned into noodles and danced weirdly, his eyes turned into large, heart shapes.

You had come to love red carnations and red roses after that.

And then, there was also the weird feeling you get when he was beside you. Your chest would constrict and you could not force out any sound at all most of the times, your felt your cheeks getting sunburnt when he smiled, and whenever his blue eyes, the colour of the ocean, met yours… oh, oh, you felt at tingly feeling in your stomach, as if the food could not settle down.

It took you two weeks, three days and twelve hours for your stupid and oblivious and completely in denial brain to be blast with the realisation that you are in love, head-over-heels in love, with your best friend.

And then your hot [drink] slipped from your fingers and scalded your thighs.

Oops.

You admired your blond friend from afar, while keeping a facade that you still viewed him as your friend. Nothing more, and nothing less.

For the next month, you tried and tried to work up the courage to just open your mouth and ask him out. In fact, you realised you had a good chance. Sure, he flirted with women 24/7, and got slapped or kicked by Nami, however, he also did little things for you (like hugging you for a whole three seconds longer than usual or kissing your bandaged cut after you accidentally wounded yourself when cooking and loads more) that you noticed.

So you couldn’t be blamed for getting your hopes up, right?

On a cloudy school day, you watched as two of your friends, Nami and your best friend (and your crush) walk in. With a painful jab straight at your heart, you watched as their eyes lit up at their own conversation and laughed.

Oh, that laugh. It made you melt. However, you desperately wished that you were the one who caused him to emit such a melodic sound.

Then, in the next moment, you felt your world shatter into a million pieces.

He pecked Nami on the cheek, and the ginger girl only giggled, with a crimson blush rivalling your best friend’s, no slaps were made, no insults, no punches.

It wasn’t until later, at lunch that you felt sick, as if you wanted to vomit… so you excused yourself (reluctantly passing your lunch to Luffy, who wolfed it down within three seconds) and sprinted to the bathroom.

With one hand covering your mouth, you nearly ripped the hinges off the cubicle door and swiftly lifted the lid.

Just as your [skin tone] hand left your pink lips, a series of coughs made your body tremble, and it continued and continued, until a single pedal was coughed out.

You stared at it. No way. No way. No way.

It cannot be happening.

However, even as you denied it, you felt that similar sensation of eating too much, and opened your mouth.

Instead of regurgitating food, only flowers were forcefully brought out.

The red contradicted with the cleanness of the cubicle, and they looked like blood splatters against the white tiles.

Like I said.

You used to love red carnations and red roses.

Especially after Sanji complimented that they brought out your inner beauty even more.

You used to love red carnations and red roses.

You used to.

You used to.

Flower meanings:

Peruvian lilies/Lily of the Incas (friendship, devotion)

(Guess who decided to post/import some trashy stories on Tumblr now?)

[brilliantorinsane]

Sherlock Holmes, 1899: Detective 2.0 (Part 1)

Note: As always, please let me know if you want to be tagged or untagged :)

… Look, I said I wasn’t going to write about this one. And I know that it hardly counts as an. ‘obscure’ adaptation, although to be fair it doesn’t appear often in tumblr discussions. But Sherlock Holmes by William Gillette is the first ever licensed Holmes adaptation, so of course I had to read it, and then I had thoughts and—well, here we are.

This is the fourth installment of my series on obscure Sherlock Holmes adaptations. For a master-list of previous write-ups, see this post.

Production and Reception

William Gillette’s Sherlock Holmes exists in two primary iterations. The first is a play released in 1899 (you can read the script here), and the second is a 1916 silent-film starring several of the stage actors, including Gillette as Holmes. This post will discuss the play only; I will review the film in part 2.

The original script for Sherlock Holmes was written by Doyle, but his script was rejected and heavily reworked by William Gillette. Gillette’s script showcases an original plot, although it features Moriarty and Alice Falukner, a loose Irene Adler analogue. Disappointingly, the parallel between Alice and Irene is purely circumstantial: Alice has much of Irene’s courage but none of her active cleverness, and is reduced to a paper-thin damsel-in-distress. This is even more unfortunate given that—contrary to Doyle’s wishes—Gillette makes her Holmes’s love interest, thus initiating the hellish proliferation of Adler/Holmes storylines. So … thanks for that one, Gillette.

The play was wildly successful, and Alan Barns asserts that it has been “crucial to the development of Sherlock Holmes on film … [i]ts impact cannot be overestimated.” Even Doyle appears to have softened towards the play after seeing it performed, and is quoted by Vincent Starrett as saying: “I was charmed both with the play, the acting, and the pecuniary result." Whether Doyle was more pleased by the art or the currency is perhaps unclear.

For myself, insofar as it is the first Holmes adaptation I find this play fascinating; but insofar as it is just one of many retellings, my feelings are mixed. I confess I kept comparing it to Doyle’s stage adaptation of The Speckled Band (you can read the script here and my analysis here), and Gillette’s play seldom looked better for it. I found Doyle’s plot more compelling, his villain more threatening, and his characters more vibrant. All the same I was not bored reading Gillette’s play, got a few laughs, appreciated Gillette’s Watson and was intrigued—if not wholly pleased—by his Holmes.

But I hope you don’t think me terribly petty if I confess that I struggle to entirely forgive Gillette for launching the legacy of Holmes adaptations with a ‘straight’ Holmes.

William Gillette as Sherlock Holmes

There are things I quite like about Gillette’s Holmes. He is deeply composed, but fully capable of action and self-defense. He has plenty of snark, is openly affectionate with his Watson, yet is deeply troubled—he cannot be accused of being without feeling.

Nevertheless, I suspect that he played a large role in establishing the stereotype of the hard-boiled detective, the DFP, the detached and cold-hearted reasoning machine. Gillette consistently leans into Holmes darker and more reserved qualities: his Holmes is almost always composed and never excited—although he is often quietly amused—and there is little sense of his love for an audience. The extremity of his cocaine habit is emphasized, to the point that he is clearly suicidal—an aspect that is belabored rather frequently.

But the thing that really irks me is the case. The case is loosely based on A Scandal in Bohemia, in which Holmes is working for a prince in an attempt to gain incriminating letters/pictures from a woman. Scandal is an anomaly in the canon insofar as Holmes is not strictly on the side of justice—either in the audience’s eyes or his own—and yet goes through with it (x). This is distinctly unusual for a man who ordinarily allows nothing, including the law, to sway him from what he sees as true justice. And yet it is this dark deviation that Gillette chooses as the framework for presenting Holmes to a new and wider audience.

And look—there’s nothing wrong with exploring Holmes’s darker side. But I still struggle with the characterization on two levels:

I’m not saying the persistence of this darker Holmes in public imagination was Gillette’s fault; he’s hardly responsible for all adaptations that followed his. I just … I just would have liked the legacy of Holmes adaptations not to begin with a straight, hard(er)-hearted Holmes.

Frankly, I find the ‘borderline-cruel straight white guy is redeemed because a pretty young girl saw his secret golden heart’ plot infinitely more tired and less compelling than the complex, transgressive, damaged, but deeply kind character Doyle created.

Edward Fielding as John Watson

If Gillette perpetuated some of my least favorite Holmes stereotypes, on the whole the same cannot be said of his portrayal of Watson. Yes, Watson is sidelined to make room for Alice, and like the other characters in the script I found him a bit … flat. But he is never portrayed as a fool, his role was somewhat larger than I expected, his connection to Holmes is palpable, and if I had a checklist of characteristics a good Watson ought to posses, he would do a surprisingly good job checking them off.

The first thing we know of Watson is Holmes’s affection for him. The second is Watson’s protectiveness of Holmes as he expresses his distress over Holmes’s cocaine habit and the danger posed by Moriarty. We also get a sense of Watson’s attraction to danger when he observes, “this is becoming interesting,” as matters become tense.

My favorite moment, however, comes near the end when Watson is alone and  two false patients come in, attempting to set a trap for Holmes. Watson not only catches on to their facades immediately, he also notices that the blind had been raised when he briefly stepped out of the room. So thanks to Gillette’s script, we get to see Watson be clever, observant, and a great doctor all at once—a rare occurrence in early adaptations.

As much as I enjoy this scene, however, it also gets at my one major disappointment with Gillette’s Watson: although he is entirely capable, he is never given anything to do. In this instance, when Watson realizes his ‘patients’ are setting a trap he begins to act; but then Holmes appears and takes charge. Later Watson blocks the window and closes the blinds to avoid a signal being sent out to Moriarty—but only at Holmes’s instructions. And this, sadly, is the consistent pattern of the play.

In the end, I was left with a confusing dual sense that on the one hand Gillette seems to have a fairly good grasp of Watson and his capabilities, but on the other doesn’t really seem to know what to do with him. He seems to know that Watson is important, but not how he is important.

So … What About Johnlock?

After everything I’ve said, that’s clearly a hard ‘no,’ right? Well, sort of—they certainly aren’t riding off into the sunset together, but I still find myself with rather too much to say on this topic. To my mind, there are four categories worth touching on: a). The relative strength of the Holmes/Alice relationship vs the Holmes/Watson relationship, b). subtext carried over from Doyle’s stories, c). queer elements of the Holmes/Alice relationship, and d). assorted moments.

a). Holmes/Alice vs Holmes/Watson

Here’s the thing: my complaints about the Holmes/Alice romance aren’t just because Holmes is gay and in love with Watson. They are also because Gillette couldn’t have written more of a dime-a-dozen (+vaguely sexist) hetero romance if he tried. Here is a point-by-point summary of their ‘relationship’:

Holmes is on the point of further stripping agency away from a helpless girl who has been physically and psychologically abused for months.

Alice cries.

Holmes doesn’t do the cruel thing (he’s still planning to do it, but Alice doesn’t know).

They are now in love.

I’m not exaggerating here: in terms of length the above scene is hardly a blip in the play, and yet next time they see each other Alice is saying that if Holmes dies she wants to die too. Yep.

On the other hand, the relationship between Sherlock and Watson is established and their care for one another is palpable. Watson first appears immediately after Holmes refuses to see Mrs. Hudson, clearly wishing to be alone. But then his boy Billy comes up, and this exchange follows:

BILLY: It's Doctor Watson, sir. You told me as I could always show 'im up. HOLMES: Well! I should think so. (Rises and meets WATSON.) BILLY: Yes, sir, thank you, sir. Dr. Watson, sir! 

(Enter DR. WATSON. BILLY, grinning with pleasure as he passes in, goes out at once.) 

HOLMES (extending left hand to WATSON): Ah, Watson, dear fellow. WATSON (going to HOLMES and taking his hand): How are you, Holmes? HOLMES: I'm delighted to see you, my dear fellow, perfectly delighted, upon my word.

The affection, intimacy, eagerness for one another’s company, and trust evident in these first lines remains throughout the script, and puts Holmes and Alice’s hurried and stilted relationship to shame.

Ultimately Holmes marries Alice and Watson is sidelined, but the relationship between him and Watson remains the more palpable and affecting.

b). Subtext carried over from Doyle’s stories

There are at least two threads that are strongly reminiscent of subtextual cornerstones in Doyle’s canon. Perhaps they are intentional, or perhaps Gillette borrowed them from the stories/Doyle’s original script without reading them the way we do, but they exist nonetheless.

The first is Holmes’s cocaine use. In the canon Holmes occasionally claims that he uses drugs to escape the crushing boredom of inactivity between cases, but The Sign of Four in particular makes it clear that he also uses them for emotional comfort—specifically to cope with loosing Watson to Mary. A similar pattern is evident in Gillette’s play: his Holmes claims that the threat of Moriarty “saves me any number of doses of those deadly drugs,” and yet Watson points out that Holmes has been using the drugs “in ever-increasing doses” despite the fact that he has been engaged in his most all-consuming case—fighting Moriarty—for fourteen months. But the cause of Holmes’s increasing drug use and attendant suicidal depression is far less clear in here than it is in the canon.

Hollow as his semi-frequent ‘because I’m bored’ explanations ring in light of Moriarty, I am inclined to think Holmes is most honest near the end when describing his distress over his treatment of Alice:

HOLMES (turning suddenly to WATSON): Watson—she trusted me! She—clung to me! … and I was playing a game! … a dangerous game – but I was playing it! It will be the same to-night! She'll be there —I'll be here! She'll listen—she'll believe—and she'll trust me—and I'll—be playing—a game. No more – I've had enough! It's my last case!

To me this clearly reads as an ongoing distress which was brought to a head by Holmes’s association with Alice rather than originating with it—“I’ve had enough! It’s my last case” indicates that the dilemma is linked to Holmes’s work as a whole, not the affair with Alice particularly. The surface (and likely intended) reading of this is that the work was a decent antidote for boredom for a time, but was ultimately too empty of real connection to be fulfilling in the long term, resulting in Holmes’s ultimate spiral into depression.

However, it also works surprisingly well for a queer reading: Holmes’s prior life was in some way a facade, “a dangerous game” perhaps involving the ongoing deception of someone he cared about. Interesting ...

A queer reading of his deterioration is further supported by the fact that Watson is married in this story. While we don’t now how long he has been married, one wonders whether his absence might coincide with the increase in Holmes’s drug habits—it seems possible that Gillette recognized the link between cocaine and Watson’s marriage in the cannon and intended committed fans to likewise make the connection in the play.

Another interesting moment comes when Holmes is lamenting ‘the good old days,’ and in theory he is complaining about the un-originality of criminals. But although he begins by speaking of what “I” used to do, later he slips into “we.” Is he really missing the old days of criminal creativity, or is he missing the time when he had a constant companion to share them with?

In short, although Gillette is likely appropriating the cocaine and never-quite-explained melancholy of the canon merely to portray Holmes having a mid-life crisis, it works surprisingly well—and in my opinion more compellingly—to read it as the fallout from the loss of his companion for whom he had socially inadmissible feelings which kept him playing a duplicitous game. (Unfortunately the side-effect of this reading might be that the solution is for Holmes to step out of the ‘dangerous game,’ leaving his old life in Baker Street in literal ashes, and into the clear light of a heterosexual relationship, which is, uh … Wrong).

One other brief matter of note: to my great amusement this play also joins canon in playing the game of the vanishing wife. Watson has scarcely entered the story before Holmes comments on Mary’s (timely as ever) absence on “a little visit,” and near the end we discover that Holmes and Watson have planned a trip to the continent (!). How long is the trip? Is Mary coming? Does she have other plans? How does she feel about her husband gallivanting off to another country with a man pursued by a master criminal??? Meh. Who knows.

Miss Plot Device does, however, appear briefly and silently offstage when Watson wants Holmes to peek in at her for a quick lesson on domesticity.

c). Queer elements of the Holmes/Alice relationship

We’ve established that their relationship is as dime-a-dozen and cringey as literary relationships come. However, in the final scenes Holmes has admitted his affection for her to Watson but believes he must set them aside for the following reasons:

HOLMES: That girl!—young—exquisite—just beginning her sweet life—I—seared, drugged, poisoned, almost at an end! No! no! I must cure her! I must stop it, now—while there's time!

And again, when Alice has confessed her love for him:

HOLMES: no such person as I should ever dream of being a part of your sweet life! It would be a crime for me to think of such a thing! There is every reason why I should say good-bye and farewell! There is every reason—

So essentially, he sees his love for almost as some sort of disease, even a crime, something that would endanger the one he loves, that he ought to resist for their sake; only he is quite wrong and that love is in fact the way to happiness for them both … Hmm. Well then.

d). Assorted

There were a few moments in the script which do not fit within a wider thematic arc, but which I couldn’t go without mentioning.

1. Upon Watson’s first appearance, Holmes greets him and then says:

HOLMES: I'm delighted to see you, my dear fellow, perfectly delighted, upon my word—but—I'm sorry to observe that your wife has left you in this way.

Okay, so Mary has only left for a visit and is back the next day, but is it just me or did Holmes make it sound like she’d left Watson for good?? Because if that was intentional, that a first-class Petty Gay antic.

2. The cocaine scene near the beginning ends with these line:

WATSON (going near HOLMES—putting hand on HOLMES' shoulder) Ah Holmes—I am trying to save you. HOLMES (earnest at once—places right hand on WATSON'S arm): You can't do it, old fellow—so don't waste your time.

Partly I’m just struck by the tenderness of the moment, which is heightened by the stage directions. But I also wonder—why couldn’t Watson save Holmes when Alice presumably can? Apparently Holmes needs romantic affection to move forward. If he believed that Watson was capable of offering him that, would Gillette’s Holmes accept it?

3. In a confrontation with the criminals, one of them reveals that they struck Watson at an earlier stage of the conflict. Holmes’s response?

HOLMES (to ALICE without turning—intense, rapid): Ah!

(CRAIGIN stops dead.) 

HOLMES: Don't forget that face. (Pointing to CRAIGIN.) In three days I shall ask you to identify it in the prisoner's dock.

Its not necessarily romantic, but I can’t pass over protective!Holmes, especially given its slight Garridebs vibe. I also can’t resist mentioning that this bit all but interrupts the first clearly romantic moment between Holmes and Alice.

4. Near the end, when Moriarty is captured and spewing threats of revenge, he declares that Holmes will encounter his retribution during his planned trip to the continent with Watson. Ever the optimist, Watson suggests that they cancel the trip, but Holmes replies:

It would be quite the same. What matters it here or there—if it must come.

There is nothing strange in the moment; what is curious is that, for all Holmes’s fears about the damage a relationship with Alice might do her, the very real threat of Moriarty is never mentioned. Realistically this is likely a bit of sloppy writing, and yet the resultant image of an omnipotent web (and yes, the spider’s web metaphor is used for Moriarty in the play) which will inescapably pursue Holmes and Watson wherever they flee and yet leaves the appropriately heterosexual Holmes at Alice alone is, um, Really Something.

5. Finally, as I wrap up I cannot resist calling your attention to a number of lines and stage directions which are (almost definitely) meaningless in context, but out of context are too delightfully gay to ignore. Here they are, presented entirely without context for your viewing pleasure:

HOLMES: Mrs. Watson! Home! Love! Life! Ah, Watson!

HOLMES: I must have that. (Turns away towards WATSON.) I must have that.

HOLMES: (Saunters over to above WATSON'S desk.)

HOLMES: Why, this is terrible! (Turns back to WATSON. Stands looking in his face.)

… I’ll just leave those there.

After everything, the question of whether Gillette might have seen or suspected a romance between Holmes and Watson is unresolved. For myself, I vacillate regularly on how likely I think it is. This excellent post gets into why it is quite likely that Gillette may at the least have seen Holmes and Watson's relationship as a homoerotic (but strictly sexless and ultimately woman-mediated) friendship. Thus at minimum he could have intended to hint at the pain of moving away from such a deeply bonded friendship. From there it is not difficult to imagine the that he could have speculated the possibility that something in their relationship or desires moved beyond what was acceptable in Victorian society. Even if he did  there remain two very distinct possibilities: a). That he was secretly supportive and despite protecting himself with a socially acceptable paring tried to hint at the pain of a forbidden love and even queer-coded the heterosexual resolution, or b). That he saw himself as ‘saving’ Holmes from ‘self-destructive game’ of his old love, redeeming him through the all-healing power of heterosexuality (ugh).

On the other hand, there is also a highly eminent possibility that I’m just looking too hard, and nothing I thought I might see was intended to mean anything in that way.

Ultimately, at this stage my only conclusion is that the evidence is inconclusive. But I will say this: regardless of intention, the relationship between Holmes and Watson remains the strongest and most poignant in the play, and faithfulness to elements of the cannon results in moments that sure do make it look like something is up. If nothing else, that made me smile.

Conclusion: Should You Read It?

Well, it depends on what you’re looking for. If you’re looking for a particularly compelling/unique/vibrant take on Sherlock Holmes, or even just a story with a thrilling plot, intriguing concepts, and living characters, this isn’t a bad choice—but you could do better. (This is where I remind you that Doyle’s play, The Adventure of the Speckle Band, is genuinely excellent). But if you’re looking for an entertaining play which also happens to be the first Sherlock Holmes adaptation in existence and which had an enormous impact on every adaptation that came after—then yeah. Go read it. It’s right here! Have fun! And if you post about it, whoever you are, I would deeply appreciate a tag :)

@devoursjohnlock​ @thespiritualmultinerd​ @a-candle-for-sherlock​ @ellinorosterberg​ @cuttydarke​ @inevitably-johnlocked​ @alemizu​ @astronbookfilms​ @battledress​ @disregardedletters​ @materialof1being​ @sarahthecoat​ @spenglernot​ @authordrawingmusic​ @hewascharming​ @infodumpingground @rsfcommonplace @the-elephant-is-pink​ @johnhedgehogwatson​ @lokis-warrior-queen @sonnet59​ @sherlocks-final-resolve-is-love​ @artemisastarte​ @tjlcisthenewsexy​ @nottoolateforthegame​

[junker-town]

‘We just made history’: The story of hockey’s first ever Team Trans

How a group of 17 trans athletes came together last November to make history.

On a Friday in a little Cambridge, Massachusetts, ice arena, as a gaggle of middle schoolers lingered after a game and two men’s league teams were taking the ice, 17 hockey players were huddled in a corner, getting ready to make history.

Jessica Platt’s excitement shone in her eyes as her teammates on Team Trans, perhaps the first-ever all trans hockey team to play a game together, dug through a stack of blue and pink uniforms to find their own. Platt, a 30-year-old former CWHL player, said she had stopped playing hockey in her early 20s because she was uncomfortable with the overly masculine attitudes of the male players who surrounded her.

“I pretty much had to be careful how I presented myself,” she said. “I got really good at putting on the facade of who I thought I needed to be, and I tried to stick to that as closely as I could when I was in that area. I was a little bit more myself around my friends, but definitely not in the hockey scene.”

Platt traveled from Toronto to play with Team Trans, which was taking part in the 2019 Friendship Series tournament hosted last November by Boston Pride Hockey, New England’s largest LGBT hockey association (not to be confused with the Boston Pride of the NWHL). About five years ago, she finally felt comfortable enough with her transition to enter a women’s locker room and return to hockey. Though she had never met many of her new teammates, they bonded quickly around the familiar fear and anxiety they had felt to play a game they loved.

“Knowing that you’re the only one and no one else has the exact same experiences as you, makes it a little bit harder to, I guess, connect with them,” Platt said. “It’s a little lonely being the only [trans] person.”

That loneliness is why the team met in Boston. Transgender adults make up an estimated 0.6 percent of the general population. There are just 1.6 million trans people in the United States, according to the Williams Institute at UCLA. In Canada, as many as 1 in 200 adults (roughly 0.5 percent) are trans, according to the Trans Pulse Project. In any given town in North America, there likely isn’t enough athletes to form an entirely trans team.

Hockey was my life I also used it as a way to try and be more masculine, where if I was good enough, like being trans would go away.”

A dozen players had to travel from outside Boston to fill the roster, from as far away as San Francisco, Chicago and Ottawa. The draw of playing on an all-trans team even attracted two professional players, with former NWHL defenseman Harrison Browne joining Platt. Each were the first openly trans players in their respective leagues.

Brynn Toohey, a 30-year-old speedy winger and transgender woman from southern New Hampshire, often makes the trek south to play for Boston Pride Hockey, but that weekend she suited up for Team Trans, too.

Toohey’s BPH teammates love to point out that she drives a bright red Porsche. Contrary to her flashy game and bold eye makeup, she is disarmingly reserved and soft-spoken. Growing up in New Hampshire provided Toohey plenty of opportunity for ice time.

“Hockey was my life,” Toohey said. “I also used it as a way to try and be more masculine, where if I was good enough, like being trans would go away.”

She played junior hockey until college, and bounced around several club teams before dropping out of the game entirely in her early 20s. Life got in the way of her passion the way it does for many young people. But Toohey also struggled with gender dysphoria, the clinical term for the distress caused by a disconnect between a person’s assigned sex and their internal sense of their own gender.

Toohey said that she fell on hard times after college, intermittently struggling with depression and substance abuse before beginning her transition early last year.

“I had to get sober,” Toohey said. “And really once I was like, ‘All right, I’m trans,’ I was like, ‘Well, now there’s a future for me.’ Everything opened up.”

Around that time, she heard about Boston Pride Hockey. “I normally don’t do any LGBT anything,” she said, but she felt the sport pulling her back and decided to give the league a try. She attended a skate around and found a welcoming environment where she could play without being judged by her identity.

“If you told me six months ago, before I started transitioning or anything, I’d be playing on an all-trans hockey team, I would be like, ‘Yeah, right,’” Toohey said. “‘That doesn’t exist. There’s not enough trans people that want to play hockey like me.’”

Like Toohey, no one on Team Trans had ever played hockey with more than a handful of other trans players, if any. Typically, trans athletes have to seek out welcoming but predominantly cisgender teams if they want to compete.

Chris Harrington

Harrison Browne, left, and Jessica Platt, right.

Browne, a 26-year-old former two-time NWHL champion, said he experienced dysphoria triggers throughout his women’s hockey experience, like hearing his deadname, the term used for the birth name of a trans person who now goes by a different name, over the PA whenever he scored. Or when someone would yell something like “Let’s go, ladies” to the team when he was on the ice.

“When somebody hasn’t gone through what you go through, they can sympathize, they can empathize as much as a person can and my teammates did a really, really good job of making me feel as included as they could,” Browne said. “But when somebody doesn’t understand your way of life or doesn’t understand your mindset, it’s difficult. And this room here, this dressing room that [Team Trans] are all in, it definitely was an environment that I had never seen.”

Shane Diamond, a defenseman from Maine, skated with a men’s beer league team for several weeks to prep for the Friendship Series. It was his first time skating with a team of men as a “passing” trans man — meaning, a trans person whose outward appearance doesn’t immediately out them as trans — and the experience was unsettling.

“I walked into the space and it was one of the most homophobic, transphobic locker rooms I’ve ever been in, and that’s including growing up [playing] with the boys,” Diamond said. Stories like his were common among Team Trans players. And while some players tried, or are trying, to play through their transitions, others, like Toohey, were only drawn back to sports once their bodies were more in line with their inner sense of their own gender.

When somebody doesn’t understand your way of life or doesn’t understand your mindset, it’s difficult. ... This dressing room that [Team Trans] are all in, it definitely was an environment that I had never seen.”

Rather than risk exposing themselves to teams and spaces that don’t understand their identities, many trans athletes simply quit sports. Fortunately, more and more athletic associations and cisgender people have begun educating themselves on how to better treat and support trans people.

Unlike most of the players on Team Trans, William Frahm-Gilles, a 35-year-old trans man and defenseman, took up the game as an adult when he lived in Madison, Wisconsin, about nine years ago. “I always wanted to play hockey, but I just never had the opportunity growing up,” Frahm-Gilles said. He was enrolled in an intense veterinary educational program, and wanted a hobby to help him work out his aggression within an accepting community.

Frahm-Gilles became involved with the Madison Gay Hockey Association at a key point in his gender transition. “It was just this really bizarre flip from every other aspect of my life, where everyone assumed I was a really butch lesbian instead of assuming I was a straight woman,” he said. “But they were so encouraging about it that it was just like a really weird space to have to kind of come out in a totally different way. I’m actually super into dudes, not a butch lesbian.”

Frahm-Gilles was the first openly trans player in the MGHA, and he had to endure the league’s growing pains as it learned to accommodate him and his identity. In an effort to signal that the league was welcoming towards trans players, league officials and other players often went out of their way to tell new and potential trans players about Frahm-Gilles, even if he had never met them. That often put him in awkward positions, off the ice.

“A new player would join who was trans-identified and come up to me and start chatting transition talk,” Frahm-Gilles said. “That happened a number of times and there was just a lot of [league officials] not quite understanding how to actually be sensitive with that information about players.”

Life gradually became easier for Frahm-Gilles when other trans players started playing in the league. One of those players was K8 Walton, a 39-year-old nonbinary person who plays defense and joined Frahm-Gilles and Team Trans in Cambridge. Walton saw how the other trans players were being treated at the MGHA and set out to change the league to be more understanding.

“The driving thing was we needed to come in from the very get-go and teach people,” Walton said. The league needed to “make sure that everybody understands basic trans etiquette, like that you don’t out people or say, ‘Oh, you’re trans. Let me introduce you to my other friend who’s trans.’ And that you’re sharing a locker room with people who may have all sorts of feelings about their bodies, and that’s [whether they’re] cisgender or transgender.”

The MGHA has evolved in Frahm-Gilles’ time there. He has been happy to see more people like him on the teams he plays with and against. “I’m glad I fell so much in love with the sport,” he said, “because I don’t think I would have touched playing after the first couple of seasons.”

The night before the first game of the Friendship Series, Team Trans held its first and only practice. At one point, Platt deftly lifted the puck off the stick of an opposing player, weaved effortlessly through the defense and passed across the crease to a waiting teammate. An audible gasp followed by oohs and aahs sprang from the dozen-strong crowd.

Greg Sargent, president of Boston Pride Hockey, was among those watching. He would be suiting up and playing against Team Trans the following night. “She’s going to be tough to contain tomorrow,” he said. I leaned in and asked how his team would try to stop a line with Platt, Toohey and Browne, who wasn’t on the ice because his flight was coming in the following morning. “We won’t,” Sargent said. “But we still want to win.”

Like MGHA, BPH has recently gone out of its way to open up to trans players. BPH formed in 1989 as a space for gay hockey players to compete. Thirty years on, BPH is up to 45 members.

“Our number one goal is just to provide a great place to play hockey that you don’t worry about what the other person is thinking,” Sargent said. “When I grew up, it’s kind of like I was checking everybody out in the locker room but [was] never comfortable, never felt safe to say anything. It was the complete opposite. And so when I found BPH ... it was just amazing.”

Sargent’s experience in creating welcoming environments led him to help set up Team Trans. The organization regularly holds series with other gay hockey associations. After a tournament with the New York City Gay Hockey Association, Sargent spotted an opposing player who was nervously off to the side from the others.

“In Boston, we have a thing where if we notice anybody new not talking with anyone, our board is keyed into that and so we all take turns,” Sargent said. “We go and talk to them and make them feel welcome, introduce them to everybody.”

Sargent introduced himself to the player, and learned that the person was trans. After some discussion, the player told Sargent that there is a Facebook group full of trans hockey players, and that it was hoping to set up a game with an all-trans roster. The player, who ultimately couldn’t make it for the weekend series in Boston, explained to Sargent that while the NYCGHA was a safe place to play, it wasn’t specifically a trans locker room, so some trans athletes felt some lingering discomfort within the team.

Kyle Outlaw

Sargent wanted to help. “I said, ‘Let’s do this.’ So I told our board that and a lot of our older members were like, ‘That’s our story from 1989. We’re doing this, let’s make this happen.’”

The weekend didn’t quite go off without a hitch. Team Trans goaltender Alex Lefebvre said at one point after the first game, several of the team’s trans men had to wait in line to use the one stall in the men’s bathroom, which had run out of toilet paper. “Some of us were like, ‘I kind of just want to use the women’s room, but half of us have full beards.’” The incident was a stark reminder that many public spaces still aren’t designed with trans people in mind.

But Sargent took the event seriously, working with trans players from all over the continent to put together the team, and even ordering personalized Team Trans jerseys and socks with the players’ numbers on them, as well as commemorative pucks. The sweaters featured a pink and blue design with a diagonal split between the colors, inspired by the pink, white and blue trans pride flag. Several team members teared up when they first saw the design.

The atmosphere inside the Team Trans locker room before Game 1 was almost joyous. Players smiled without a hint of nerves. Hockey sticks lined the front wall, each taped in trans pride or rainbow colors. There was banter, of course. The team captain, who didn’t wish to be named, read out the lines, and mistakenly said one player’s name twice.

“I know there’s a bunch of trans guys in here, but you listed two Jacks and there’s only one Jack,” quipped one of the players, poking fun at the fact that “Jack” is a common name among trans masculine people.

Later, someone pointed out they needed a team chant, and Diamond immediately yelled out “T4T!” in reference to trans community lingo for when two trans people are dating each other. A unison of giggles followed; it was agreed.

Browne said after the game that he forgot to wear an undershirt and had been worried how his nipples would feel directly under his shoulder pads after top surgery. Several teammates understood his anxiety and offered personal experience to reassure him. To Browne, moments like that brought home what many on Team Trans had felt they’d been missing throughout their athletic careers.

“We’ve only been together for two days and I felt like there was a cohesive feel in there,” Browne said. “There was a comfort level that I’ve never really felt [before].”

Despite their fast bonding, Team Trans was up against a stiff challenge from a team that has been playing together for years. BPH put away two scrappy goals over the first two periods, and took a 2-0 lead into the third.

But Team Trans hadn’t yet put Platt, Toohey and Browne on the ice together. They wanted to spread their talent across multiple lines as best they could. After the second intermission, Team Trans held nothing back.

“When we score … we’re going to celebrate,” Toohey said in the team huddle. Her confidence felt brazen. They were still in a cisgender-dominated world where trans people have long had to be content with scraps of validation.

Team Trans won the faceoff to start the period, and Platt carried the puck over the blue line. She dished off to Browne, who quickly scanned the ice and spotted Toohey blazing down the slot, just to the left of the net. His pass found Toohey’s stick, and Toohey’s one-timer found the back of the net. The Team Trans bench and small crowd in attendance erupted together.

As she skated past the BPH bench, Toohey dropped to one knee and mimicked shooting a bow-and-arrow. “It was a great celebration between all three of us,” Toohey said. “Obviously I’d been playing for BPH so I had to give it to them with an arrow shot, and it was just great. It felt so good for us to get on the board and into the game.”

The first all-trans goal in history, in hockey history. That is wild. I think I’m just processing it as I’m saying it.”

It was an unforgettable moment for Browne. “The look on her face when it went in, it was like ... It was really, really, really special to see that,” he said. When asked what it meant to assist perhaps the first all-trans goal in hockey history, Browne raised his eyebrows. “The first all-trans goal in history, in hockey history. That is wild. I think I’m just processing it as I’m saying it.”

Riding the momentum of Toohey’s goal, Team Trans score another a few minutes later and tied the game, 2-2. The teams traded goals again, but BPH notched the eventual game winner with roughly two minutes left and took Game 1, 4-3. Both teams shook hands, and Team Trans turned to the 50 or so people in the stands, many of them trans people and family, and tapped their sticks on the ice, chanting, “thank you.” As they stepped off the ice, Diamond remarked, “We just made history.”

Lefebvre played well in net despite the losing effort. His family traveled from Albany, New York, to watch him, and he stayed on the ice after the final whistle to take pictures and chat about the game. At one point, a player from a team that was taking the ice next approached and told him he played an amazing game between the pipes.

“That was cool,” Lefebvre said later. “I have no idea if those guys had any idea what the game was or not. I was kind of thinking of that, I was like, ‘Does he know? And he’s coming to say that because of that? Or just appreciating good hockey?’”

That night, Team Trans and BPH met up for a long night of drinking before gathering for Game 2 the next day. The score wasn’t nearly as close, with BPH winning handily. When the final whistle sounded, Team Trans once again thanked the fans, and many of the players lingered in the small space between the rink and locker room, not wanting the experience to end.

Throughout the weekend, players discussed continuing Team Trans into the future. There’s a tentative plan to enter Team Trans into several LGBTQ hockey tournaments around North America, and encourage trans players anywhere to join — a sort of rotating roster on a barnstorming team. Each player interviewed said they couldn’t wait to skate in the blue, pink and white again.

They were supposed to get another chance soon. Team Trans had arranged for a second Friendship Series, this time traveling to Wisconsin to face off with MGHA in April, but were forced to postpone the event due to the coronavirus pandemic. But the feelings from the first Friendship Series endure.

“Hockey isn’t my everyday thing anymore, but I still love it,” Browne said. “These past two games have definitely ignited that love and camaraderie ... This was bigger than hockey for me and it was more than just a game. I was able to meet people that played my sport that were like me.”

Platt hopes that continuing Team Trans will help trans hockey players maintain their connection with the game as they work through their gender identities. She recalled what a team like this would have meant to her when she was growing up. “Maybe,” Platt said, “if something like [Team Trans] existed, I wouldn’t have quit.”

Chris Harrington

[tenorcolt8-blog]

Exploring the NBA's Two Newest Arenas

A back-to-back in Detroit and Milwaukee earlier this week didn’t bring the 76ers the success they were looking for.

But it did take the team to the NBA’s two newest venues.

With some time to kill before each game, I decided to scope the arenas out. Here’s what I found…

LITTLE CAESARS ARENA

Location: Detroit, Michigan

Opened: September, 2017

Size: 20,491

Cost: $860 million

Downtown Destination

The starkest contrast between the Pistons’ new digs and their old ones, The Palace of Auburn Hills?

Location, location, location.

The Palace, which opened in 1988 and was the site of several Iverson-era playoff series between the Sixers and Pistons, was about a 30-minute drive north of Detroit, in a relatively posh suburb.

Little Caesars Arena, on the other hand, is now an anchor establishment for the up-and-coming ’District Detroit’ neighborhood.

It’s like what Brooklyn and Queens are to New York, and what Northern Liberties and Fishtown have become to Philadelphia - an area full of rehabbed buildings, new construction, trendy restaurants, and plenty of investment dollars.

Also worth noting about Little Caesars Arena is its proximity to Detroit’s other two pro sports venues - Comerica Park (Tigers of MLB) and Ford Field (Lions of NFL). You can see the tops of both stadiums from Little Caesars Arena’s Chevrolet Plaza, a nice open-air space that feeds into one of the entrances of the building.

Multifaceted Design

As the above photos show, Little Caesars Arena has a very classic exterior look - straight, sharp edges, with a bunch of red bricks. The feel is appropriate, with plenty of apropos blue collar, midwestern undertones.  

The interior of the building, though, reveals a much more modern infrastructure. The arena bowl itself is actually a separate, curved structure, connected to the brick exterior with rounded glass panes.

Not only does the exterior and interior architecture create a cool blend of styles, the windows that make up part of the roof bring in lots of bright, natural light.

Hometown Touches

Gameday didn’t offer a ton of time to investigate Little Caesars Arena, but I did manage to get a quick stroll in.

Out of everything I saw, I think I had the most fun stumbling upon all the Detroit-inspired features that projected civic pride.

Above the Chevrolet Gate entrance, not only was there an actual Chevy affixed to part of the brick wall…

...but a sculpture of the Detroit Red Wings logo called “Wheels & Wings” that was made out of 186 auto parts from 13 different Chevrolet (part of Detroit-based General Motors) cars. The project apparently took over 700 hours to finish.

Then, placed along the concourse floor, there are these manhole covers, each one commemorating an iconic player, coach, executive, or team from Pistons or Red Wings history.

Nods to Motor City culture crossed over into the dining options, too. After all, what's more than something associated with Kid Rock?

Game Experience

Before looking down at the actual playing court at Little Caesars Arena, it’s hard not to first gaze upward, at the venue’s 43,000-square foot ceiling, which consists of 1,700 LED light strips. The colors and design can change over the course of a game or event.

The scoreboard itself is impressive as well. Four big screens combine to form a 5,100 square-foot box, that, at the time of the arena’s opening, was the largest “center-hung” scoreboard ever built.

For a 20,000-seat facility, Little Caesars Arena actually felt cozy enough. Unfortunately, the night the Sixers were there, the crowd was somewhat sparse.

Next Time I Go…

I’d love to check out the upper level gondolas, which, despite being up pretty high, apparently offer neat views of the action.

Maybe that’ll be my move for (at least a portion of) the Sixers’ second and final regular season game at Little Caesars Arena, a December 5th nationally-televised appearance on ESPN.

FISERV.FORUM

Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Opened: August, 2018

Size: 17,500

Cost: $525 million

Stunning Sight

Google Maps told me it was about a mile from the team hotel to fiserv.forum. The early fall afternoon was crisp (temperatures topping out in the low 50s that day), but still pleasant enough.

So, I decided to hoof it to the arena, and was glad that I did.

The 20-minute walk was really nice. It took me from the the revived Historic Third Ward district…

….north along the Milwaukee River that runs through the heart of downtown…

… and past Pere Marquette Park.

Fittingly, it was while I was heading down ‘Old World’ North 3rd Street, past the iconic Mader’s German restaurant (est. 1902), that I saw first caught a glimpse of the newest school venue in professional basketball.

fiserv.forum may have only been partially peeking from in between the handful of far more traditional-style buildings in downtown Milwaukee, but man, did its beaming glass facade and curved, copper-colored, wooden-looking roof grab your attention immediately.

After turning onto Highland Avenue and reaching the arena’s entrance, a handful of Bucks branded items came into view. One of them was this sculpture, located at the head of a plaza that joined the ground the arena was built on to a nearby entertainment complex still under partial construction.

A little bit farther up the street, I passed a mini-mural along along the north side of the arena. The artwork depicted lots of Milwaukee nostalgia.

By the time I reached the end of the block, I was, yes, kind of cold, but more than that, pumped to see what was inside.

Sparkling Fresh, Starting at the Top

The very first thing that hit me about fiserv.forum was its smell. Less than two months old, the place still had a super fresh scent, the kind created by construction materials.

After being tight on time in Detroit, I made sure to get to fiserv.forum early enough to allow for some solid exploration.

When I got to the 100 level concourse, I first came across this steep escalator that enticed me upward towards the very futuristic looking Panorama Club at the tippy-top of the building.

What do you do when you’re in a place called the Panorama Club? Take a panoramic picture, of course.

True to the last part of its name, the Panorama Club has every bit the feel of a club, from its carpeted flooring, shiny lights, and lounge-style seating. You won’t find traditional chairbacks in this space, which is meant primarily for the standing-room-only crowd.

What you will find, however, is a terrific view of the Milwaukee skyline, and an outdoor balcony on the side of the Panorama Club opposite the court.

It may have been located in the highest accessible part of the arena, but the Panorama Club, for me, was one of the most distinct aspects of fiserv.forum.

I headed down a staircase to the 200 section, which, despite being the second level, offered good sightlines. In general, whether up there, or in the 100 level, there were few places on either of the fiserv.forum concourses where you didn’t have at least a partial view of the court.

Had it been open for business while I was walking around, I would have grubbed at the fiserv.forum Southside Market. This 200 level dining area featured some local favorites, like Klements (sausage) and Cedar Crest Ice Cream, plus other enticing stands that specialized in fare like mac and cheese, grilled cheeses, and gyros.

Luxury to be Found

To get back down to the main concourse, I once again took the escalator on the east, glass-facing side of fiserv.forum. Going down offered a neat look at all the different levels of the arena, and with the sun setting, there was a nice glow to that part of the arena.

I hopped off the escalator at a premium seating section called the West Bend Lofts. I’m by no means a design expert, but words that come to mind to describe this area are hip, high-end, and cattle ranch.

A large dining space inside the West Bend Lofts was being set up for a pre-game event, so I took a peek inside a few of the private boxes, which were well-stocked, and very nice.

Built for Basketball

Much like Little Caesars Arena in Detroit, the walking space on the first-level concourse at fiserv.forum was especially spacious. The rustic, woodsy motif from the exterior of the arena, and parts of the second level, carried through.

Once again, if you wanted to consume local products, especially of the drinking variety, you had ample chances to do so.

One of my biggest takeaways from fiserv.forum was that you could tell the building was built for basketball. For a multi-sport facility, Little Caesars Arena was still intimate for hoops, but the seating in fiserv.forum, especially in the 100 level, seemed perfectly pitched for fans to watch round ball action.

While this picture (taken from my press seat) might not do a good job showing it, at fiserv.forum, you felt on top of the action.

The scoreboard, as to be expected, was bright and sharp, with some nice bells and whistles underneath. I liked that its size, while big, wasn’t off scale for the size of the arena.

Next Time I Go…

I think I walked past what were a couple of meeting spaces and / or premium suites that were actually on the event floor level. The Sixers will be back at fiserv.forum for a Sunday, March 17th matinee, so I’m going to look into those more then.

FINAL THOUGHTS

For teams and fans, Little Caesars Arena and fiserv.forum both offer top-of-class experiences. The two venues have each clearly been constructed and designed with lots of cutting edge features, t.l.c., and branding thought in mind.

Is it hard not to feel just the slightest pang of jealously over the Pistons’ and Bucks’ shiny new digs? Of course. That’s human nature.

But, I’m also excited for all the renovations that will be taking shape at The Center over the next couple years. The upgrades should only enhance a place where the 76ers have been enjoying increasing success.

Source: https://www.nba.com/sixers/news/exploring-nbas-two-newest-arenas