#and where is my mother now?
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howldive · 2 years ago
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yknow. i dont care if i had to survive on my own devices and left alone. if you dont want to help me, fine. but what really grates me is when other people (esp my relatives) expect me to do so much out of very little resources i have even after ive made it explicitly clear that i dont have enough.
"why didnt you go to the hospital sooner? why didnt you give your siblings enough allowance for school? why dont you just eat properly? why are you borrowing money from other people?" and such questions asked with disdain as if im the most irresponsible person alive
ive said numerous times that I don't have enough, i dont know how much more clear i can be. just let me suffer alone if youre not going to help.
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padfootastic · 2 months ago
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can’t help but think of how, if we choose to go by sirius’ characterisation as a private, arrogant teen who only lets a select few into his circle, sirius’ post-azkaban life just have been such an utterly humiliating experience for him.
especially OoTP. when he has all these near strangers in his childhood house, that he hated and loved and ran away from and couldn’t ever escape. if he spent his entire pre-azkaban existence building a cold and aloof persona, not letting people know what his home life had been like, then to have all of these people get a front row seat to it because of kreacher and portrait walburga’s shenanigans must have been near unbearable. to have the entire order, including snape whom he disliked and mistrusted, hear the kinds of names he’s being called.
not only does he have to deal with the retraumatisation of his childhood, but also the fact that he’s flayed open for everyone to see. it’s not only his freedom, innocence, dignity that has been snatched from him but his privacy also. it’s such a cruel thing to experience, on top of everything else.
to have literal children, his godson who he has been kept away from all this while, whom he presumably wants to be able to look up to him, to have him see into the deepest parts of his soul. to have to be so weak in front of him. not only is he subjected to such vileness but he also cannot do anything about it.
sirius has not had a moment of peace in all the time we knew him. it is indignity upon indignity that is heaped onto him. every other character has gotten a moment of respite but him. it fully breaks my heart.
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royaltea000 · 3 months ago
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[jttw swk oc children] tried out giving them some new clothes but I dunno bout this one… 🤔
Prev:
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inkskinned · 2 years ago
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they don't see it, because it is around them like air. to them, it would have to be through movies, through magazines. they think it happens outside of life, like it must be selected to be interacted with.
but you discovered in the fifth grade that you couldn't wear shirts with words on them, it was an excuse for someone to look at your chest. you were catcalled before you were in middle school. sometimes you look at that memory and deny it - surely that can't be right, you were young. but you were in a skirt, so maybe that was a natural byproduct. it was a skirt from that place "justice by limited too" - a store literally for kids. it was popular around then. you wore that skirt twice and then never again.
you can't wear headphones, because what if a man wants to talk to you? there's a guy on the internet who complains that women shut themselves off from being approached. at night, you often keep the headphones positioned but with the sound off, just in case you need to hear something behind you.
you learned at 12 that you can't make eye contact, don't acknowledge the aggression. just walk faster and hope he picks on somebody else. don't wear your hair like that. do not park next to that kind of car, park an entire cityblock away if you must.
you can't go to the museum, you're sitting and tying your shoe when he approaches you and mentions that nobody understands art anymore. that in the whole world, it's just you-two. you have no recourse for eating a meal (it's rabbit food if it's salad, and someone will roll their eyes, eat a sandwich. it's pick-me behavior if it's a burger, we get it you're a cool girl). if you like mushrooms you are cottagecore, which is cheesy. if you like video games you're an egirl (similar to a pick-me). boys do not get categories, but if you point out the categories are sexist, you are told okay but these girls really exist.
it is somehow developing, a little undercurrent that you've been uncomfortable with. the nickname "karen" went from being "a white woman that uses her whiteness as a weapon, particularly against people of color," to now mean "any woman raising her voice or being even a little upset." the reappropriation of a term used specifically to call out white women for their racism has set your skin on edge. now it is just another version of "bitch," one that can be said on television. recently you saw a woman get called a karen because a drunk driver sideswiped her, and she screamed when it happened. the comments on the dashcam video all say "why do women always scream about everything." "when has the world ever been bettered by women screaming." "this fucking karen. she deserved to get hit."
in the sitcom, it's a joke that the wife is furious; slamming her hands down into the sink. i do everything around here, might as well do this too. in your house, your father is always in-his-office. before you know better, your first boyfriend is the type to say it's just easier for you. you used to beg him to take you on dates. he used to make a big deal about it, about the sacrifice of effort, even if you were the one who did most of the planning.
someone on the internet makes a "POV: the most boring person you've ever met" where he puts a towel on his head and just talks like a normal person. his impression of a boring woman is just a woman that is talking about her pretty-average life without exaggeration.
you are sometimes actually sad in the reverse, because actually you did used to struggle to pay attention in conversations. you were also easily bored of normal things, your adhd pinging off of every radio tower in the vacinity. it took time and therapy and patience, and now you delight in the small things about your friends. you like having them show you their organizational systems and talk about their taylor swift tickets. you are entertained by them because you learned to be, even though your brain is structured to only be excited by novelty. you kind of hate the idea that the reason your father will never actually pay attention to you is that you're no longer interesting. eventually the shine wore off, and you were just a person, not a spaceship. he never learned how to just, like, form an actual intimate friendship. it was always at a distance, this sense - emotional closeness was too much. (and yes. he's homophobic).
you're already tired of whatever the fuck is happening with the words "divine feminine", a rancid take that is basically just a rebranding of the patriarchy in action. what the fuck do they mean "being small and delicate and needing protection" is feminine. the words they are looking for are that they want a partner, not that their desire for equivalent support is relegated to gender. the human desire for community is not actually gendered at all. also, what fucking wolves are these "divine masculine" men even battling. fuckken taxes? shouldn't their "desire to protect" also mean "protect you from emotional neglect", or are all emotions off-limits (and how sad would that be. that's a horrible bar to set.)
and they tell you it's really not bad actually, because it's just there. they suggest you get off the internet or you stop reading that book or you stop thinking so hard about the movie or you stop just-being-a-feminist because honestly it's a killjoy sort of thing and then you tilt your head to the side and there's that little siren in the back of your head. if things were actually fine, being a feminist wouldn't put a stop to anything, it would go completely unnoticed, because you wouldn't have any comment to make about any of this
but you are ruining your own life, they tell you. also, girls don't sit like that. also, all girls are catty. also, all girls are bad drivers. also, all girls just need a cute bracelet and an iced coffee.
you do like iced coffee, is the thing. when you close your eyes, the world around you has this strange note to it. and once you hear it, it never stops ringing.
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serpentface · 3 months ago
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Scenes from The Baby Wars Part One: The First One
[Hibrides never wanted to be a mother (though the concept of childbearing has always occurred to her as 'inevitable and necessary'), underwent very severe post-partum depression, never really bonded with the infant, and was extremely uncomfortable with nursing her (they had a wet nurse who covered most of it).
Brakul ended up being the Designated Housewife throughout Erubi's infancy and was effectively the only member of the household providing parental care, was Extremely bitter with Hibrides for not really wanting anything to do with her daughter (among other things), and was raised in a context where fathers allowing their infants to comfort nurse on them is a standard practice (which is not widely conceptualized as a Thing men can do in the Wardi cultural sphere and comes off as bizarre to the rest of his household).
These combined factors lead to tense standoffs where he looms behind Hibrides trying to guilt her into Feeding The GodDamn Baby while looking, from her perspective, like he's trying his absolute hardest to breastfeed.]
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gingermintpepper · 5 months ago
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There are many things people expect from one called 'God of Blood'. Always, the first thought is the blood of war, the blood of violence, the blood of the weak shed for the goals of the strong. Ares doesn't think of the blood of battle at all. When he thinks of blood, he envisions the many tied knots of blood bonds and bonds forged in the blood of battle. Blood sons and blood daughters, blood brothers and battle sisters, blood oaths and blood vengeance - he watches over them all and keeps close each one of these bonds.
One cannot begrudge his displeasure then when he realises he cannot tell Leto's offspring apart just by looking at them.
It was easier when it was just Artemis. Dark hair curled about her shoulders, a fierce mien whenever Father summons her to the mountain, a scattering of bones and blood shed whenever she was disturbed; the eldest child of Leto was a wild thing, sharp toothed with sharper claws always at the ready. There's whispers of her being a twin, of her other half being made to crawl on their belly as penance for their sin of god-slaying but Ares pays it little mind. What twins look alike among their number? Even dog litters are born distinct with all their unique markings inlaid in their fur. Artemis' twin too would be much more than their sister's mirror image.
Pouring over his list now, he wishes anything about Phoebus Apollo was that simple.
Mirror image did not begin to describe it. The twins were the same height, the same build, had the same colour and texture hair, ate the same raw food and drank the same amount of nectar. There was no difference in how they dressed, no difference in the company they kept, no variance in the weapons they used. There are some days Ares still cannot believe Phoebus will grow into a man and not some nymph with the way his ears have that slender point. He watches them now, sitting together beneath a shady palm and stringing their bows in an uncanny unison and curses because he still cannot tell them apart. What use is his skill in knowing blood when they both have the same damn blood running through their veins? What bond is there to sense when they are tied so tightly together, Ares can scarcely tell brother from sister?
He sighs. Unadorned and completely alone, the only way to know who is who is to speak to them. He'll have to find more ways to tell them apart from a distance. Surely they cannot stay this similar all the rest of their immortal lives.
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#ginger writes#hello and welcome to my 'ares is doing his best' corner#I can't overstate enough how alike Artemis and Apollo are as young gods physically#literally identical twin status which only begins to change as they acquire different domains#I was really happy with the font I got because it very closely resembles what I imagine Ares' handwriting to be like#But I'll gladly add an image description if it's too illegible#That said Ares has an interesting dynamic with the twins#In a lot of ways there's a sense of guilt/wariness surrounding him for Apollo and Artemis#because he knows how much they stress his mother out and he also knows how much Hera doesn't like Leto#But there's also a bit of fascination because Artemis is extremely strong#(in a way that's markedly different from Athena's strength)#while Apollo has all of these crazy stories attached to him from killing Python + his work while exiled#but when he returns he's very placid and calm and almost?? too nice? Definitely nothing like Artemis#in terms of personality#Ares doesn't really trust it until he learns that straight up that's just What Apollo Is Like#That too will change eventually but for now Ares just doesn't want to approach Artemis the way he'd approach Apollo#because he'd get his head caved in with the curved side of a bow#There are precious few encounters Ares has had with Artemis where he hasn't walked away with#at least a few arrow wounds LMAO#He'll eventually be forced to accept that it's Artemis' love language#ares#artemis#apollo#pursuing daybreak posting#writing
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freakartack · 1 year ago
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"...Hello? Ma! I told you not to call me today, I'm making a movie!" -Wario, Mario Power Tennis
The most important lesson from Ma that Wario took to heart was the endless pursuit of cold, hard cash. Unfortunately, the one lesson she could never teach him was the importance of hard work to get it.  It wasn't for lack of trying; Wario's Ma is the hardest worker this side of the Mushroom Kingdom.  Raising Baby Wario was a herculean enough task on its own, but ever the enterprising spirit, she had also set out to grow one of the most profitable crops: garlic.
Her backyard business quickly expanded into a veritable garlic empire. Wario's mother toiled away tirelessly each day from sunrise to sunset to grow and harvest as much garlic as she could possibly achieve.  Much of Wario's current strength and endurance can be attributed to helping his mom on the farm as a child, although the teeth-pulling task of getting him to actually work was almost as difficult as preventing him from eating all the garlic straight out of the ground.  Wario's nose for instant gratification has always been a thorn in his mother's side, but try as she might to instill a solid work ethic into the boy, her "get-rich-slow" schemes could never appeal to him.  Still, Wario enjoyed his surprisingly agrarian upbringing. Along with garlic, his mother also raised chickens for eggs, inspiring in Wario a lifelong soft spot for poultry.  (He also had a pet hamster named Fluffy, who sadly passed away in 1986.)
Today, Wario is still on good terms with his mother despite their physical distance, and frequent phone calls keep her updated on all of Wario's business successes.  Of course, being Wario, he heavily embellishes the amount of work he actually does at his company.  If she only knew...
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o3o-lapd-o3o · 2 months ago
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here's part 7! hope you guys enjoy! part 8 will be uploaded tomorrow!
(p.s my headcanon explainations are in the tags if you're curious)
the post/thread that started this whole au
dinner scene: part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 8
there's a masterlist now!
*after everyone had gone inside, telemachus left to go to his room to change while penelope and odysseus headed to theirs*
*penelope had help getting changed/ready from her handmaiden, however odysseus doesn’t start changing, instead he’s just sitting on a lounge chair looking out the window at the sun setting*
penelope: *now ready for the evening*
penelope: *to her handmaiden* thank you for your help. 
penelope: *smiles as she’s walking to the bedroom door with her* 
penelope: *remembers something* oh! please let the others know to make sure you all grab yourself enough to eat after all the hard work the past couple of days! or take some of the remaining fish & meat home to your families!
penelope: *waves goodbye as her handmaiden leaves the room*
penelope: *closes the door and turns to face odysseus*
odysseus: *still staring out the window*
penelope: odysseus?
odysseus: *no response*
penelope: *understands he doesn’t mean to ignore her* 
penelope: *slowly walks towards him* my love, it's just you and i now
odysseus: *finally realises penelope was calling out to him* 
odysseus: *turns his head to her* i’m sorry penelope
odysseus: *looks her up and down, always amazed by the beauty of his wife*
penelope: *giggles as she see the lovestruck look on odysseus face*
penelope: *stops just in front of him and twirls around*
penelope: see something you like?
odysseus: *standing up and pulls her into him by her waist* 
odysseus: always *goes in for a kiss*
penelope: *accepts the kiss*
penelope: *giggles when odysseus keeps planting kisses all over her face*
penelope: my dear husband, stop distracting me! 
penelope: it’s time for you to get ready.
odysseus: *stops the kisses and looks down and sighs*
penelope: *cups his cheek with her hand and turns his face back to hers* 
penelope: you know i’m not going to force you to wear anything you don’t want to, right?
odysseus: *leans into her hand* i know, i know…
odysseus: it’s so silly of me isn’t, it’s just clothing-
penelope: *now holding his face with both her hands* nothing is silly, not if it makes you uncomfortable my love
odysseus: *smiles* i love you
penelope: *smiles back* i love you too
penelope: *lets his face go* now, what would you like to wear tonight? 
odysseus: *looking at the tyrian purple pelops she's wearing* i would like to match my beautiful wife
penelope: *knows she had a chiton made for him at the same time she had her pelops made* ok, let's get you matching then
*once odysseus is ready, him and penelope leave their room and make their way to the palace entrance ready to greet their dinner guests*
*when they arrive, they see telemachus; who is dressed in more ‘princely’ attire than his usual day-to-day clothing, talking to athena who arrived not long ago*
telemachus: oh! mother, father, you're ready!
athena: *turning to them*
athena: *smiling* good evening
penelope: *smiles back* good evening lady athena
athena: please penelope, i think we’ve known each other long enough… especially after everything in the past year
athena: just athena is fine
penelope: *smiles* sure…athena
odysseus: *looking at athena* 
odysseus: it’s still so weird not seeing you in all your armour
athena: *laughs* well i thought the occasion didn’t require it
*the four of them continue talking for a little bit*
athena: i see that my uncle hasn’t arrived yet.
telemachus: *turns to his father* you told him it was tonight right?
odysseus: *nods* i did
odysseus: *thinks for moment and sighs* 
odysseus: he’s not going to come to this entrance… but i know where he’ll be
athena: i’ll go with you to get him
telemachus: me too!
penelope: *laughs* well i guess i might as well join too
odysseus: let’s go then
*they all head in the direction of the entrance for the palace gardens*
odysseus: *stops them before they all head outside* ok maybe we don’t all need to go down to the sea
odysseus: i’ll go meet him and we’ll both join you shortly
*telemachus, penelope and athena wait by the entrance talking amongst themselves, while odysseus makes his way down to the palace cove*
*odysseus arrives at the cove when he sees poseidon making his way out of the water*
poseidon: *sees odysseus* 
poseidon: king of ithaca
odysseus: *deadpan expression* poseidon.
poseidon: *rolls his eyes at odysseus, for the clear lack of title for him*
odysseus: the others are waiting, shall we get going?
poseidon: *about to agree when he remembers about the arrow*
poseidon: wai- uh i mean, i have a question before we leave…
odysseus: *eyebrow raised* 
poseidon: you're not… i don’t know, mad or angry with me or the sea’s inhabitants by any chance?
odysseus: huh?
poseidon: *pinches the bridge of his nose* has the sea or i, done anything to offend you in the past day?
odysseus: *now confused* no?
poseidon: *drops his hand from his face and then points at odysseus* then why did you shoot me?!
odysseus: *even more confused* shoot yo- whAT?
poseidon: *reaches into his chiton and pulls out the arrow he kept there* 
poseidon: *shows the arrow to odysseus* please tell me then, what have i done that's got you shooting arrows at the sea?
odysseus: *looking at the arrow, then up to poseidon* i've not shot any arrows at the sea? 
odysseus: also, who shoots arrows into the sea?!
poseidon: *hands up in the air in agreement, the arrow being thrown behind him* 
poseidon: that's what i said! but who else would it be? it hit the waters of this cove, so unless-
odysseus: *suddenly realises where the arrow has come from*
odysseus: *starts laughing*
poseidon: *brings his hands down and narrows his eyes at odysseus* what is so funny?
odysseus: *wiping a tear away from his eye from laughing so much* my son
poseidon: *now his turn to be confused* huh?
odysseus: *having collected himself * my son, he shot the arrow during archery practice
poseidon: *eyebrow raised* and you're teaching your son to shoot the sea… because?
odysseus: *rolls his eyes* it was an accident, my wife startled him and he misfired. 
odysseus: *lets out a tiny chuckle* i can’t believe it made its way to the sea though 
poseidon: oh
odysseus: yeah ‘oh’ 
odysseus: why would you think i’d shoot the sea anyway? 
poseidon: *arms now crossed and looking away from odysseus* 
poseidon: who knows with you…
odysseus : *smirking* oh poseidon…i’d just use other ways to get your attention
poseidon: *whips his head back to odysseus* 
poseidon: *sees odysseus’ shit-eating grin*
poseidon: oh be quiet… what if i arrived early? 
poseidon: *points at himself* i could have been hit!
odysseus: *snorts* oh please… an single arrow wouldn't kill you
odysseus: besides we both know you've been impaled with worse
odysseus: *turns to head back up to the palace* anyways, let's head up to the others
poseidon: *realising what odysseus said* wait-
poseidon: odysseus of ithaca!
odysseus: *just keeps walking ignoring poseidon’s outburst*
poseidon: *grumbles under his breath but swiftly walks to catch up odysseus* 
*odysseus & poseidon make their way to the palace garden entrance where now only athena is waiting*
odysseus: *looking to athena* where-
athena: *already knows what odysseus is going to ask* they headed to the dining hall.
athena: telemachus wanted to check some final things and penelope left to accompany him.
odysseus: *nods at her explanation*
athena: *turns to look at poseidon*
athena: *nods head at poseidon* uncle
poseidon: *blank look on his face* athena.
athena: *now looking at her nails* not seen you since you were up on olympus in apollo’s infirmary…
athena: *looks back at poseidon and grins* speaking of which… how’s your chest?
poseidon: *scoffs and crosses his arms* fine.
poseidon: *suddenly smirks back* need i remind you that you were also there for a similar  reason…how’s your face?
athena: *grin has left her face and now narrows her eyes at poseidon*
odysseus: *not wanting to deal with two bickering gods* 
odysseus: *sighs*
odysseus: *claps his hands together sharply* OK! how about we don’t fight in my palace, yeah?
odysseus: besides, telemachus has been extremely excited about tonight’s dinner, so i do not want anything ruining it…
odysseus: *makes sure to look at both of them*
odysseus: *red eyes appear & disappear in the blink of an eye*
odysseus: got it?
athena: *now semi-understands why poseidon listened to odysseus ‘requests’* uh-
poseidon: *putting an arm around athena’s shoulders* yep, no arguing here!
poseidon: *turns his head towards athena* isn’t that right my dear niece?
athena: *stares at poseidon in disbelief at the words ‘dear niece’*
athena: *turns to odysseus* you can’t be seri-
odysseus: *raises his eyebrow*
athena: *sighs* sure, no fighting in the palace
odysseus: *smiles* good. now i know you know where the dining hall is located athena, but poseidon doesn’t.
odysseus: so, if you’ll both please follow me.
odysseus: *starts walking down the hall*
athena: *shrugs poseidon’s arm off in disgust and follows odysseus*
poseidon: *sighs and also follows odysseus*
#*meanwhile in the dining hall*#telemachus: *hands on his hips looking at the table* perfect!#penelope: *looking at the name scrolls telemachus put out in each seat*#penelope: are you finally happy now?#telemachus: *laughs* yes mother#telemachus: i thought it’d be nicer for them to see where they are rather than me pointing to seats#penelope: *pulls telemachus in for a hug* oh i'm so proud of you for coming up with this whole evening#telemachus: *hugs her back* thank you mother#telemachus: i just hope everyone has fun#penelope: *thinks of the potential chaos that's about to happen* oh i'm sure they will#so as for the whole clothes/getting ready bit between penelope and odysseus#one of my other little headcanons is that while on calypso's island odysseus had no say about how she wanted him to look/dress#like i know most people have animated/wrote odysseus as scruffy/unkempt looking after the 7 years#but i think calypso wouldnt let him get like that. hes her 'love of her life' / pet she's going to make sure he's always groomed & well kep#including making him wear all sort of clothing and outfits she makes/creates for him#so once back on ithaca odysseus isn't too keen on having to dress up or have servants dress/groom him like a normal king would#after months of healing he'll only now just let penelope help out as he knows she loves him and views him as equal than a doll to play with#odysseus epic#odysseus#penelope epic the musical#telemachus epic#telemachus#poseidon epic#poseidon#epic the musical#epic: the musical#friends in higher places au?#nonsense thoughts#ongoing
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loopyarts · 1 month ago
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My final fashionably late festive sketchy coloured piece with young Sanji and his siblings all together along with Nyasha as well.
I hope everyone is having a lovely 2025 so far. :3c
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lafaiette · 3 months ago
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Gods I feel you I'm only 10 hours in after having received the game as a gift and I REALLY try to like it but it just ... doesn't feel like Dragon Age. Characters know stuff they shouldn't know about, the game keeps talking down to me, nothing I did in the previous games mattered, the tone is completely different, the mature storytelling of the previous games seems to be missing so far & what I heard so far of how the lore and the characters from previous games have been handled is honestly the worst part and breaks my heart. idk even if i wanna finish the game at this point anymore, I'm just kinda ... sad.
I'm so sad and disappointed, too, I remember our conversations, fics, and headcanons about DA! We were so excited and happy, because Inquisition, DA2, and DAO were genuinely well-made and aimed at pleasing the fans, despite their faults.
DATV is a good action game, no doubt about that. The combat is fun, there is a lot to explore and discover, and many locations are beautiful, even though some are terrible to navigate (Dock Town's structure makes no sense). But that's it - it's a good action game with the name "Dragon Age" pasted on it. It doesn't feel like it's part of the series, it constantly treats the player like an idiot, some references to past games and characters are literally hidden in the brief descriptions of the mementos, and there is even a Glossary to make sure the new players don't get frustrated.
Everything is safe and aseptic, cleaned of every deep piece of lore that could have scared new fans into buying or continuing the game. Even the banters lack the depth of the previous games.
A good game company should lure new players in not by rejecting their past entries, but by making them look even more interesting with their sequels.
Bioware wasn't afraid of offering piece of lore after piece of lore in Inquisition - it was a game set in a precise moment, whose prologue was directly tied to the events of the previous game, and new players had to accept this if they decided to buy it and play it. If they liked that premise, all that information and those details, then they were more than welcome - they were encouraged! - to go back, try the older games, and see how it had all started. It was a game made for the fans the company had already managed to win over, not for possible fans who may or may not bring new money in.
In DATV the new players can jump right in after quickly learning who Solas is and what he's trying to do, and old fans are left with an empty shell, with minor references that are supposed to make us feel happy and accomplished peppered here and there, while all our past choices and our favorite characters are forgotten or brought back with a terrible case of amnesia. It's lazy, infuriating, and very sad, and it smells of reboot, because the new devs probably realized they couldn't keep up with the amount of lore and choices the series contain, and they needed to start anew.
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curioscurio · 6 months ago
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Me when I have to establish and maintain a boundary even though it makes people unhappy with me because that's what it means to prioritize your own needs over other people's feelings
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anxiously-sidequesting · 8 months ago
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how about you shut the fuck up Mr. Irresponsible
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thebirdandhersong · 4 months ago
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???? something something deep discomfort with body image is it generational?????????
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bumblingbabooshka · 3 months ago
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I think Sarek and Amanda Grayson both lowkey seeing their children as little experiments in different ways is undeniably bad parenting BUT .... I mean you talk about matching each other's freak .... Like imagine for a second Sarek is like "I am going to show that Humans are just as good as Vulcans by molding this Human child and my half Human son into the perfect Vulcans - This will show that despite what society thinks of as their genetic inferiority, they're just as good as any Vulcan." and Amanda's response to that is to think "Sarek is wrong...Michael's humanity MUST be preserved...so that I can show her all the love and affection I can't show Spock and maybe through their sibling bond all my unspoken and unexpressed love can trickle down to him through her." What are you both DOOOOING!?? You guys are NUTS like PLEASE just TALK to each other and compromise about how you're going to raise your children!! [Love the drama though] So I'm imagining in my head that Sarek is severely pressuring both Spock and Michael to act as perfect Vulcans their entire lives with him or else they're failures not only in his eyes but in all of society's (because he's an ambassador and raising these children is tied irrevocably with his work as such) WHILE Amanda is secretly trying to funnel her humanity and love for Spock through Michael and as such failure to receive, express, or internalize that love is failing not only your mother but also the entire Human race. Damned if you do damned if you don't! Who do you want to disappoint more, kids?
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In 'Point of Light' Amanda says that she gave Michael all of the love, joy, and affection which she wasn't "permitted" (we must question the use of the word - what stopped her from directly giving Spock this love? I'm not saying there wasn't pressure for her not to, I'm saying the word 'permitted' absolves her of any personal choice or failing in a way that's interesting to me) to give Spock and though this is on the surface level sweet and probably meant to be interpreted that way, I submit that it must be kind of fucked up to hear that your foster mother was maybe only so kind and caring to you because she felt she wasn't allowed to act that way towards her "real" son. Michael Burnham as a tool for both her parents, however unintentional, is very interesting and I'm not sure it's something canon considers (haven't watched the show, I just like imagining things). The feeling that you have to be grateful to these people for not only being your parents but being YOUR parents. For taking you in and giving you a beautiful life - you have to pay them back, you have to make them especially proud of YOU. Because they didn't HAVE to, did they? Because you're not their "real" child. In the end, it's always Spock - isn't it? The love your mother gives you is Spock's love and if only one child can enter the Vulcan Science Academy then it has to be Spock. You're the appetizer your father serves before the REAL main course and your mother's stuffed doll which represents the thing she REALLY wants to hold and you know they genuinely care about you. That's the worst part. Because you know they care and they didn't mean to hurt you and the voice in the back of your head keeps telling you that any hurt they've dealt you pales in comparison to the debt you owe them and they love you, they love you, they love you, they love you, they love you [repeat as often as need be: remember the debt]
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hiraethminds · 2 months ago
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naming bb Ryan is such a good idea because it’s such a him name. like yeah that’s him coded. he’s a Ryan alright. you hit the nail on the head (this might sound sarcastic but it’s not I really like it)
Thank you so much for telling me this tumblr user manymind, I love it when my ideas are appreciated and treasured. For this I shall give you a bit of lore: i named him after my dad, zero need to look into this on a psychological level, this only happened because my dad had red hair when he was younger and when I was looking at old pictures of when he played for a baseball league my brain was like “omg inanimate insanity baseball in real life”
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