#and when i say its actual HELL…
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writing a 10k+ fic but then remembering you have to proof-read it…
#em talks#and when i say its actual HELL…#its so easy to write silly words but then u read it and its just a bunch of nonsense???#like how did that happen? why did we lose the plot so bad?#HAVING TO READ UR OWN FICS IS A CURSE#writing#LIKE I AM NOT KIDDING#writer#LIKE EVERY TIME I READ IT IM CONVINCED ITS THE WORST PIECE OF WRITING EVER#fanfiction#SIGHHHAHHRJDJ
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Sobbing uncontrollably reading through a dissertation about the college experience of students with ADHD. It is like reading a report about my life that just says over and over "My experiences are real. My hardships are real. I am not lazy, I am not dumb. My struggles were not my fault, and they were not a moral failing. The failure was with the system, not with me."
Here's a line that got me in particular:
"Hotez et al.(2022) compared the health, academic, and non-academic capacities of a nationally representative sample of U.S. first-year college students with ADHD and without ADHD. Students with ADHD self-reported lower academic aspirations and more feelings of depression and overwhelm, ranking themselves lower in their general emotional health. The fact that students with ADHD scored in the highest 10th percentile for many non-academic traits, such as artistic ability, computer skills, creativity, public speaking, social confidence, self-understanding and understanding of others, compassion, and risk-tasking, suggests that this population has strengths that are frequently underappreciated in academia."
(the paper is a thesis called "Understanding the Collegiate Experience for Students With ADHD" by Gia Long, 2022)
#adhd#actually adhd#i often hyperbolize but i am dead serious when i say sobbing uncontrollably. this is why i was putting off this assignment.#1000 years of hell to professors who assign self-reflection papers /hj#i dont feel comfy posting the pdf bc its not mine butttt.. i will share it to people who dm me.#edit: pages 80-85#edit: thank you to everyone who reached out and asked for the pdf!! i wasn’t expecting this reaction#keep reaching out I’ll keep sending it#if anyone is interested but struggles to read academic papers pls ask me for help bc I’ve gotten a lot of practice with them and am Glad to#expand someone’s access to a paper like this
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ONCE UPON A TIME, THERE WAS A KNIGHT...
the visual inspiration for this was a combination of Frederic William Burton's Meeting on the Turret Stairs and also Bernardo Cavallino's The vision of St. Dominic receiving the Rosary from the Virgin
this was supposed to be just a one off illustration to get the thoughts out of my system, but then I started thinking about medieval politics and warfare and plagues and a castle and home as both a place of refuge, a prison, and a tomb, so perhaps they will end up as ex voto characters as well.
you may say, hey! that rosary looks like it has too many beads! it's a fifteen decade rosary, probably. dominicans are really into marian devotions. it works out.
also. spiral style stair cases. oh boy. it was that unexpectedly more difficult than I originally thought it would be to draw. the more I think about it, the less I understand them, even though I had a million photos of the stairs in front of me while I was drawing it.
⭐ I have a tip jar (ko-fi)!
⭐ and other places I’m at! bsky / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost / cara.app
#the economy and my bank account are in shambles and i ended up stress drawing this whole thing in one go#its so many lines. the next time i draw this. because i will be revisiting this composition. i want to use a different inking brush#i think. but the next time i draw this it will be with solid blacks on the stair case steps i think#hey here's a fun fact for those of you who aren't catholic. did you know that kissing the ring of the pope/a cardinal/etc#grants you an indulgence. cardinals also used to kiss the pope on the mouth. also foot and hand iirc. anyway#there are no cardinals in this drawing but im saying if you write medieval/renaissance smut about men of the cloth#you can really amp up the friction between holy and seductive with a lot of the (gestures vaguely) that.#actually another fun fact about cardinals. their fun sun hat (it's called a galero) has some fucking weird as hell fever dream (literally)#origin lore. so if seductive isn't your thing. the horror of a thing that you wear is also extremely fun#esp when you get into medieval gender performances of clothes and how they define a person etc#generic medieval tag#original tag
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mmm throwaway conversation between Dan and Danny that popped into my head that I had to write out:
"You spent ten years being a one-man mass extinction event, then went back in time and fought me, and lost." Danny snarls, arms crossed and throat tight. His mouth pulls back to bare dagger-sharp teeth, and his eyes burn with the familiar thrum of ectoplasm heating up behind his eyes. "If I didn't believe you were half of Vlad before, I do now."
His other self -- and really, can he even call him that? He's half of Vlad too. Two halves severed from each other and welded together to make a new whole, -- snaps his head over to him. Wild-eyed and furious, he looks unlike the man Danny fought before, the one unruffled and untouched, unbothered by the world around him. It's familiar, but not like the way a reflection is.
"What's that supposed to mean." The Other hisses, matching Danny's scowl one-for-one with fangs much bigger and sharper than his.
But there's a reason lions fear hyenas. Danny matches the rumble in The Other's chest with one of his own, and shoves his face close to his. "I don't lose."
#danny fenton#danny phantom#dp prompt#danny phantom prompt#dan phantom#dark danny#not meant for any particular au i just had the idea of danny going 'wow you can tell you're half of vlad' to dan and when questioned abt it#he says; 'if you were REALLY only me you wouldn't have lost' which is fucking BASED as hell. and also technically true#thought process for danny here was 'hates dan's fucking GUTS bc he tried to kill his family and friends without remorse and would actively#rip out his throat without a moment's notice.' some fr 'im going to beat you to death with my bare hands!' vibes rn.#not totally in character for danny but also i was thinking that it got to this point bc dan was goading danny about 'being his future self'#when that's not technically true. he's half of vlad too he just has danny's face and powers. and he pissed off danny enough that he#retaliated. just not in the way dan expected. dan was expecting a physical attack not a verbal one.#danny called him a loser in more ways than one.#also the reason danny never calls him 'dan' in this is because i was thinking that danny doesn't actually *have* a name to call him. bc he'#certainly not danny. but he's not vlad either. he's someone else entirely. so 'The Other' it is.#danny fenton is not the ghost king#<- down here because while its still MY DP post its not DPXDC so it doesnt need to be front and center for people to see it.
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I don't know what this is all I know is that LimL Joel makes me really emotional
#I know he has a tendency to go deranged on his red lives but idk something about him beginning to lose it after Jimmy died and killing Grian#joel smallishbeans#smallishbeans fanart#trafficblr#Again its his red life shenanigans but... If only Jimmy had known how affected someone was by his death. I'm choosing to believe this#and him then going out like a sad pathetic wet cat even with Grian's sacrifice... He really deserves a win one of these days lmao please#Also I cant stop thinking about how Jimmy wouldn't have left him. Grian was sensible to and most players probs would have#Joel really does become a lost cause so its fair and Grian did still care (and went to say goodbye as well as sacrifice his time for him)#But Jimmy would have stuck by even if Joel were in this state (and they'd both get themselves killed pathetically but)#And Joel having shown such genuine care for Jimmy and concern over his limited time... man anything w Jimmy makes me so emotional lol#I love them so#oh Ig about the art itself. I dont like it but hey thats how it tends to go when you try smth new. And no shame in trying#but if one person likes this then yayy I will still feel accomplished and happy#Im looking at this again and hey its not that bad actually yay I love to approve of my own art. self love hell yea#tubby art
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"what do hands mean about a character?"
Their hands mean they love eachother
(webcomic)
#i almost wrote 'source' instead of 'webcomic'#that's a little twitter brain rot right there ngl#it's so bad on twitter rn yall like#straight up isn't showing my posts to my followers anymore#and art in general does. so much worse when it's actually the artist posting them#like provably art performs better when the artist pretends they stole it...#so so so glad I'm still on tumblr LMFAO#every time i use twitter i take psychic damage#'ohhhh why do you still use it' everyone is asking me this#my job. is to post art#kinda gotta post#I mean. ok that's not my job#you know this and I know this#but it's an important part of my career#its gonna be my job after i leave webtoon tho#god i hope that works#im so scared#LMAOOOO#anyways. these hands look good as hell#i think all the hands i draw look good#caus i love hands#but i loooove drawing hand holding...#the amount you can say with how a hand touches another.#im gonna be thriving with wwl#cause they have to hold hands or hell die#pump it into my veins#ok i can tell my bf js getting annoyed ive had my phone on for 3 hours in bed by#time and time again#adam and Steve#webtoon originals
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ghost fucking soap so hard and so good he passes out but he utterly panics about it
he thinks he must’ve ignored soap asking to stop; was it pain that made him pass out? how bad could it have been to make him pass out when he’s been shot and kept going? should he bring him to medical? he’ll never touch him again, he’ll never so much as look at him again; he’ll ask for a transfer- fuck that, a dishonourable discharge. there’s no coming back from this
he spirals, guilt chasing hatred chasing despair chasing fear, until soap finally wakes back up
soap's still floating, loose-limbed and buzzing; fucked so thoroughly out of his head that it takes him a while to notice ghost isn't in bed with him anymore. he frowns, lifting a heavy head off the pillow and freezes. ghost's on the other side of the room, curled up tight in the corner as far away from soap as he could get without leaving him alone
(he would've left, would've made sure soap never had to see his face again and be reminded of what he did to him, of the monster he’d let into his bed- but he couldn't just leave him unconscious; what if he didn't wake up, he had to make sure he was safe first even if he'll rightfully hate him forever when he does wake up)
soap's voice when he calls out to him makes him flinch, his head burying deeper in his knees. cold worry chases the bliss from his blood and soap pushes himself up but his shaking arms can't hold his weight
the sound of him collapsing back onto the bed makes ghost rear up, his panic growing and soap's heart breaks at his red rimmed eyes
it takes a long time for soap to coax him back to the bed, countless loops of, "sweetheart, please, come here, what happened? it's okay, everything’s going to be okay.”
(and how ghost’s self-hatred grows hearing soap comforting him; hearing the concern and love in his voice when he doesn’t deserve a drop of it)
it takes even longer for ghost to believe soap when he says that he passed out because he felt so good; that he never asked ghost to stop, never wanted him to stop. that he trusts him more than anything and knows he'd rather die than ever hurt him, especially like that
“you’re not a monster, love,” he promises, soft with conviction and it’s as much a surrender as a relief when he collapses into his lap and lets him hold him close
ghost believes johnny but he still can't bring himself to be intimate with him for a while; that fear still haunting him, but soap doesn't hold it against him, doesn't complain about ghost's perceived "step back" in their relationship
hell, ghost seems to hate it more than he does; he misses being with soap, misses the connection, the closeness they shared, the safety and quiet he found in his embrace, but he's always trusted soap more than he trusts himself
soap doesn't let him be consumed by his fear or worse, sabotage them and turn it into a punishment; doesn't let him even get through the suggestion of switching because he knows how much he hates it and he won’t let him twist something as good and pure as their physical love into something self-harming
instead, he brings them back to the basics, working through the steps to get ghost comfortable with intimacy again, to get him to trust himself again; spends happy months just grinding and exchanging handjobs like when their relationship first started
and it's a happy day for them both when soap finally falls apart on his cock once again, anxiety the farthest thing from ghost's mind when his arms are wrapped so tightly around him, kissing a smile against his lips
#i dont want to know what it says about me but i love traumatic misunderstandings?#thing like thinking the other is sh’ing or has an ed or in this case pushed the other beyond their limits#i think its the knowledge that its not true and the love or trust of the souple will win out above the guilt or fear#even less severe ones like thinking the other is mentally ill when they actually time traveled or can see ghosts or whatever#i just really like misunderstandings that have actual weight to them#tw for ghosts comic backstory#but ghost surviving roba and the hell he put him through only to be terrified of being like him? oh that shit Hits#like ghost knows hes fucked up he knows he has trauma and he knows he likes killing people a little too much#but him being scared of that twisting into him becoming like the people that hurt him? very interesting very painful#and him ever thinking that he did that to /johnny/? it would destroy him#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#ghostsoap#soapghost#ghost cod#simon ghost riley#soap cod#john soap mactavish#we’re a team. ghost team#save post#ghoap#call of duty#cod#cod mw2#cod mwii
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so when are we gonna start appreciating undertale AUs for fueling a metric fuck ton of the creativity and longevity of the fandom because if i see one more person calling them the cringiest part of the last 8 years i might lose it
#trousled rants#been feeling a bit salty about this for a while but im letting it out now because i Can#but its insane seein ppl say “oh the fandom's mellowed out a lot its way more peaceful now” and agreeing bc it IS#and then “yeah now that AUs aren't so popular anymore its way more bearable” and its like :) okay#and if i told you that fan game you've been talking about for the past month is an au. what then#sighsghs its just like man i GET that a lot of aus are just edgy for the sake of it but shit dude!!! people were just having fun!!!!!#a lot of them were an avenue for ppl learning how to make their own stories!! even if they're not perfect or in character#making a shit ton of papyrus aus is one of the main things that helped me realize how much i love character design#and i KNOWWWW i'm not the only one and youre trying to tell me that's not awesome as hell!!!!!#yeah i probably i have nostalgia glasses but maybe i do kinda miss when everybody was a bit more insane actually . maybe i do#undertale
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rewatching the first episode of Hannibal and holy shit I forgot how good this is but it's actually insane that Brian fuller set up the ep like this, he introduces will and Hannibal by first briefly showing them at their core, at the darkest, most vile part of them---we get a glimpse behind the curtain---and then its gone, the curtain is snapped shut and we see their masks, their human suits.
Will empathizes with killers because he likes it, and he wants to kill but he refuses to give into the urge because he knows how much he'll like it and he won't be able to stop. So he lives vicariously through other killers, satisfying his own dark urge by feeding it little morsels of secondhand blood lust. Every crime scene he works gives the urge something that satisfies it, not enough for it to grow, but enough for it be sate. Enough that he can ignore it for long enough that he can walk around and be Professor Will Graham who is Weird, Brash, and Non-sociable.
And Hannibal is a cannibal at night and a psychiatrist by morning.
#hannibal#hannigram#hanniblogging#hannigram brainrot is real#also ive watched the entirety of hannibal like four times and everytime i watch it i still find stuff to lose my mind over#brian fuller the brain that you have#winston my beloved#also plzzzz the way hannibal was just gonna kill jack with like no hesitation#AND the way hannibal was fucking smitten from the moment he spoke to will#like wills all like i hate eye contract its distracting as hell and hannibal is just looking at him like 😍😍😍#plss you are embarrassing yourself#also question#when will was like how do you see me and hannibal said that shit about the mongoose and the snakes and will just looks at him like ????#do yall think he was confused because he was genuinely like dude what the actual fuck are you saying#or because he understood it#and the woman at hobbs' work being like two guys from the fbi#and neither of them are technically from the fbi#just two insane dudes having a first date by larping an active fbi investigation#omg and when will shoots hobbs he realizes that oh fuck this is my chance this is my chance to kill and finally satisfy that dark urge#so after he shoots him once he just keeps shooting shooting shooting till its impossible for hobbs to survive for hobbs to be dead#till it was will that killed him
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hi....scrapped wip again. im rlly not built for color. yap incoming
sorry my productivity tanked my 7 year old laptop is nearing its final breath and im just stalling buying a new one as long as possible to not violate the boycott but she (laptop) is making this shit DIFFICULT
im gnna be so honest w yall i havent had the drive to do shit all lately like. i need dopamine kicks to function but nothings working for some reason ??? i bought a jjk book and i fucking love jjk so i should be excited but im ??? not????? fucked up how that works
#scp#scp fanart#illustration#dr clef#dr kondraki#clefdraki#scp fandom#scp foundation#fanart#not feeling so cash money rn chat#i have so many responsibilities rn but i cant muster up the want to do anything right now#monke brain needs its dopamine signals n when i go out of my way to do something and feel nothing afterwards its like#????#like what the hell#i love these assholes though#funny thing actually a family member tried to kill me once and i was just really sad i couldn't make more clefdraki art#i dont know how long thats staying in the tags LMAOOO#i dont know how long this ones staying up either but whateva#fuck it we ball#don't suggest drugs by the way i don't even have the drive for that#unfinished art#would anyone b interested in balefire art ......#i say as if id finish anything at all
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Quackity: There's also a button to toggle, so in case you're talking to people in English, you can toggle it.
Slimecicle: I'm never gonna speak to anyone in English again
[...]
Slimecicle: I feel like a baby that has learned how to speak! Bababa, bababah.
Fit & Maximus: Baba, baba, baba, baba, babah -
Slimecicle: I like that we've gotten a thing to translate all languages, and now we speak none.
#Slimecicle#QSMP#Quackity#FitMC#Spreen#This is not a full transcript I would go insane trying to transcribe this full thing#Also I would HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend wearing headphones when listening to this this is NOT family friendly audio#GOSH I love Slimecicle he's the best#these are all highlights from QSMP Day 13 (yesterday's) VOD#Queuing this because I'll be at work....missing all the streams today.......................#Me a hybrid worker: Hell yeah I can listen to stream while working#Me when I'm actually in the office: *misses 20 different streams*#ITS NOT FAIRRRRRRR#Anyways that bit at the end where Charlie says he feels closer to the Spanish streamers than anyone else was so sweet :')#That really touched my heart
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Complaining abt Suicide Squad yet again but the fact that they have Waller exposing the alien community to space racist attacks and talking abt how she got to her position through deceit and being a terrible person and stuff is just. Ahsfiwueh JUST SAY YOU DONT KNOW WALLER.
Anyways literally the 3rd mission of the Squad ever (and the first framed as smth Waller picked and not orders from above) was the Squad discrediting and stopping a rogue vigilante who was only arresting POC and funneling white people into white supremacy groups (of which he was the most prominent member) in SUICIDE SQUAD #4. and it's explicitly framed as this mission being personal for Waller that she's hiding from the government bc its illegal like. Guys. Please why are we having her incite (space bc comics) racist attacks now
Also the whole "Amanda got her position through deceit and being a terrible person" NO. she KEPT her position through being shitty and playing complicated political games!!! She wasn't always that way like there is a difference and it is IMPORTANT ppl PLEASEEEE. In Secret Origins #14 we learn Amanda's backstory and she used to be a normal, caring person! Like even after she entered into working in government and politics she wasn't automatically morally bankrupt like please people. She was originally given control of the Squad by Reagan (*sigh* 80s comics...) to distract and get rid of her because she was so successful at pushing progressive social policy in Congress. Acting like she's this static pillar of evil is such a waste of her character and so fucking uninteresting and disrespectful to her arc it drives me MAD.
Like I am NOT saying Waller is all sunshine and rainbows, she fucking SUCKS (said w love <3) but like there's a human being there. It's a progression, she has a character arc like please, DC, please!!! They've fucked up Waller so bad and made her so opaque and uninteresting she can't even be the protagonist of her own story for fucks sake!
Like I don't know how many times I have to scream it until DC hears me or remembers but WALLER IS THE MAIN CHARACTER OF SUICIDE SQUAD. ITS HER BOOK. yet right now she's a cutout to be used as the villain wherever the writers please. Even in her book we get none of her perspective really displayed, no exploration of her thoughts with any kind of understanding of the role she traditionally has played and was made to play in the story.
#its like youre unable to root for her in any form. which is annoying bc shes actually awesome actually#also having her say “actually im the good guy fuck you'' w/o any actual deep analysis of her psyche or whatever while doing these things#doesnt count as development or showing shes 3 dimensional. its just having 2 dimensional waller say shes right when everyone is obviously#supposed to believe shes wrong#anyways i want real waller back please i miss herrrrrrrr#anyways hope mr john ridley has read secret origins no 14. i know its from 1987 but please guys please. my only hope#also it was a few months ago but i think they tried to push certain elements of a diff backstory in dream team and sorry but fuck that. and#any mention of another waller background like my eyes are closed sry. im a preboot truther#actually im just ignorant of most squad comics outside the original series. im gonna do a readthrough and become knowledgeable on other#stuff i just need to find time. so if im wrong then sorry if its smth factual and if you disagree with my opinion then uh sorry for ur loss#anyways shoutout to the time i had a nerd night w my one friend and she was asking me abt dc and said my favorite villains and i said waller#and silver swan. and she had a “yuck WHY” to waller and a ???? to silver swan. love shouting out my faves and explaining them to the less#informed. didnt say a number 3 but would probably be parallax ig. idk hes kind of slay. or maybe someone else honestly i like hal but waller#and nessie are blorbo level for me i could think abt them for hours#or maybe it wouldnt be parallax actually idk who my 3 would be. hes definitely up there but way below the other 2. maybe the cheetah#interpretation that i personally have. v different from the popular cheetah interpretation esp rucka vers actually. much closer to the pérez#and esp develops some subtext there surrounding barbara and the exploitation and theft of sacred cultural artifacts and pieces but also#like british colonization a lil bit#but i actually despise the cheetah that lives in my head but think shed be interesting to use narratively and see diana fight#vs the other guys who i find interesting and sympathetic and like for themselves#whereas my fave interpretation of cheetah can rot in hell#i got off topic here#blah#swishy rant#also disclaimer that w the main character ik dreamer is the main character of dream team. im talking more in general and that amanda should#always have a huge role as shes the main character of the squad and yet is treated like its villain and not its protag#sui sq
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So i headcanon that demons (maybe angels too) have more than 1 heart…
Imagine that one day your demon darling invite you to dinner and ofc you agree! So you’re talking with them waiting for ur meal then it arrives. On the plate it’s a cooked DEMON heart and it’s not just any demon heart it’s your demon’s heart. Them smiling and said “do you like it?”
Apparently, demon do that to express love to their mates and it’s also one of the most imtimate ways (in demon’s sense) to show love.
I need more contents of the boys actually being demon 😔
i fuck with this, not gonna lie
the monsterfucker in me is always intrigued by the differences in how a nonhuman would express their love lmao of course most people would be surprised if their demon lover presented them with their second heart but after initial shock and them explaining if you think about it….you cant help but be (strangely?) touched like wow this person really likes me huh (///∇///) so we r pretty much soulmates! presenting one of ur hearts is a pretty big deal just from a logical standpoint, cause u forever nerfed urself for someone
now actually eating the heart is a whole nother question lmaoo
yea you know demons sometimes like to eat each other (and humans sometimes) but humans dont really do that as a casual activity and it usually gets you ostracized lol
u cant help but feel a little bad not eating it though…they cooked their whole second heart, they had it removed from their body which probably wasnt a painless thing to do but for your demon its mainly a way for them to show their devotion more than anything ,,,tho i know some of those brothers were actually expecting you to eat it lol it would be very funny if you both were sitting there after you were like aww thats so sweet and then he was like….well r u gonna eat it? :]
asmo and mammon come to mind first honestly LMAO
asmo is “kind of” intense when it comes to love and the mammon is a tsundere--"well...are you gonna eat it or what?"(//︶^︶)typa deal--so thats why i say that
and then maybe beel and belphie
beel cause i feel like it might go over his head at first (especially since this involves food) but then he'll remember like oh right humans dont eat that my bad
belphie i just think is hopeful you know...if that makes sense, so hes not surprised if you dont wanna eat it but maybe a bit huffy about it
i think satan and lucifer are too smart and like “normal” to actually expect a human to do that
while levi is... levi
hed probably get self conscious and be like well yea of course they wouldnt wanna eat my heart...
and then u gotta really reassure him its not him its you :d
#obey me nightbringer#obey me#obey me x reader#not taggin all those brothers im sorry lol#i like playing guess how that character will react#especially with characters i dont know very well lol#okay that was fun#thanks for the ask!!#its nice getting surprise messages :]#idk even how to tag this!!#like gruesome or something??#tw body horror#tw gore#maybe??#ACTUALLY#i wanted to say#remember when the threat of demons eating mc were constantly brought up in the beginning of the game lmao#that feels like a whole other world now#i wonder if the boys still get urges to eat mc sometimes tho#cause i was reading a novel with a demon ml and he fell for the mc#and he has demonic urges sometimes that he has to control#and actually a different demon in the past was infatuated with him and wanted to eat him because of it#so that was normal down in hell#like that would be considered love#fortunately for mc the ml isnt full demon anymore so i think it helps muddle those eating urges a lot#but hes yandere tho cause his version of love is still very intense and strange by human standards#i need to finish this story btw
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started stardew valley for the first time. born to remember villager likes and dislikes forced to immediately forget it the moment i take my eyes off thw wiki
#HELP. HEEEELPP <- THE FORGETTER#i have 18 different tabs open and im pretty sure half of them are duplicates. i have not made anything past 5000G i am so cooked#rn im at summer 11 ish?? i cant remember dates in real life either jesus christ GRIPPING THE COMMUNITY CALENDAR WITH MY BARE HANDS#my ass really went into this like “ill just take it easy and go into it blind so i get the newborn baby deer experience" completely ignoran#to the fact that i get anxious disappointing ppl and not having any background knowledge going into smth new. like a FOOL#also the walking speed is just slow enough to make me space out and forget where i was going and what i needed to do head in my hands#ive had to backtrack all over pelican town so many different times im in fucking adhd hell. resource management hell#im saying this like i hate it but its actually pretty fun and engaging when im not gripping my head trying to remember what i was doing#i got linus' 2 heart event and it made me whimper a little. LINUSSS LINUS I LIKE HIM. AND WILLY AND MARNIE THEYRE SO NICEYS#marnie kinda like.. reminds me of my friends mom even her face is pretty similar. shes sweet i like her. also willy calls me lad hes cool#i think im just gonna start a new save and NOT rely on the fucking mixed seed forages bc my ass was too stubborn to buy seeds#i just got sebastians 2 heart event too ughhh ive never had to work so hard for an emo boys approval. but it was satisfying#corn will fix me. its a replenishable summer-fall crop corn has to fucking fix me PLEASE#i also. made a stardew valley farmer. the one im playing as. their name is cosmo they have a backstory and everything im making#him a ref. his backstory is so fucking funny just wait#yapping#diary#puppy plays sdv
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i think its very fun to consider the mc as another king like obviously not the same way as the devil kings but in two ways: one being that you are the descendant of the wise king, solomon, and what he had has been inherited by you, but also as in the mc having rule over a very small, but wholly devoted kingdom.
and by that i mean minhyeok.
sure it was a kids game, him swearing his loyalty to you and you ordaining him as your knight, but that kids game became his reality. he is your only subject but he will never leave you. whatever he can do to protect you, he'll jump to it in a heartbeat even if in the end it costs him his life. but a king cannot be a king with no one to rule, which is why when it was your turn to save him there was no hesitation to literally make a deal with the devil to keep him alive. and he will wait as long as it takes until you return and he can be by your side again
#cliffnotes/.txt#whb#what in hell is bad#ive been rotating loyal/minhyeok stuff in my head ugghhhghh#also funny i named my mc that before i knew what was going down in the game. thats just what i picked before starting#ive never changed it either#i just knew ☝🏽#i also like to think of this as being something that puts the mc on more level footing with the others bc of solomons influence but also#their own role playing king since childhood#how long does an actor play a role before its no longer just a role yknow#when the curtains wont drop it starts to become reality because theres no one else you can be. the play isnt ending#because somewhere along the way it stopped being just a play. its a way of life now#edit: i forgot to say but the knighting thing is in one of minhyeok's side stories!#i believe in ch2 or 3 i went to find the screenshots to make sure i didnt make up that convo in my head#then forgot to check where it actually was.
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Am I the only one who, when Charles pushed the NightNurse into the ocean, was absolutely with him???
Like, his job is the best the brawns, to protect Edwin (and now Crystal, a human who can DIE) and this person wants to send his husband best mate back to hell and they also have a problem that is causing MORE PEOPLE to DIE.
Guys, of course he did that. He was defending his people and saving lives. It was absolutely not too extreme. The NightNurse was a threat. Angie was a threat. He neutralized them, because that's what his job is!
Was it shocking? Yes bc we know how much he values life. Was it necessary? I believe it was
Anyways I rest my case prosecution may call their first witness or whatever
#this is about dead boy detectives#dead boy detectives#edwin dead boy detectives#edwin payne#charles rowland#charles rowland dead boy detectives#is it kinning a character if i just AM them?#Edwin had no right saying it was 'extreme' my boy just saved you from hell#Charles would do anything for Edwin#Including actually hurting someone#which is a lot bc my boy would absolutely feel a bit of guilt when killing a fly#its true charles told me himself in a vision
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