#and when i say its actual HELL…
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taintedcigs · 1 year ago
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writing a 10k+ fic but then remembering you have to proof-read it…
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milk-lover · 1 year ago
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Sobbing uncontrollably reading through a dissertation about the college experience of students with ADHD. It is like reading a report about my life that just says over and over "My experiences are real. My hardships are real. I am not lazy, I am not dumb. My struggles were not my fault, and they were not a moral failing. The failure was with the system, not with me."
Here's a line that got me in particular:
"Hotez et al.(2022) compared the health, academic, and non-academic capacities of a nationally representative sample of U.S. first-year college students with ADHD and without ADHD. Students with ADHD self-reported lower academic aspirations and more feelings of depression and overwhelm, ranking themselves lower in their general emotional health. The fact that students with ADHD scored in the highest 10th percentile for many non-academic traits, such as artistic ability, computer skills, creativity, public speaking, social confidence, self-understanding and understanding of others, compassion, and risk-tasking, suggests that this population has strengths that are frequently underappreciated in academia."
(the paper is a thesis called "Understanding the Collegiate Experience for Students With ADHD" by Gia Long, 2022)
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katabay · 9 months ago
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ONCE UPON A TIME, THERE WAS A KNIGHT...
the visual inspiration for this was a combination of Frederic William Burton's Meeting on the Turret Stairs and also Bernardo Cavallino's The vision of St. Dominic receiving the Rosary from the Virgin
this was supposed to be just a one off illustration to get the thoughts out of my system, but then I started thinking about medieval politics and warfare and plagues and a castle and home as both a place of refuge, a prison, and a tomb, so perhaps they will end up as ex voto characters as well.
you may say, hey! that rosary looks like it has too many beads! it's a fifteen decade rosary, probably. dominicans are really into marian devotions. it works out.
also. spiral style stair cases. oh boy. it was that unexpectedly more difficult than I originally thought it would be to draw. the more I think about it, the less I understand them, even though I had a million photos of the stairs in front of me while I was drawing it.
⭐ I have a tip jar (ko-fi)!
⭐ and other places I’m at! bsky / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost / cara.app
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starry-bi-sky · 1 month ago
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mmm throwaway conversation between Dan and Danny that popped into my head that I had to write out:
"You spent ten years being a one-man mass extinction event, then went back in time and fought me, and lost." Danny snarls, arms crossed and throat tight. His mouth pulls back to bare dagger-sharp teeth, and his eyes burn with the familiar thrum of ectoplasm heating up behind his eyes. "If I didn't believe you were half of Vlad before, I do now."
His other self -- and really, can he even call him that? He's half of Vlad too. Two halves severed from each other and welded together to make a new whole, -- snaps his head over to him. Wild-eyed and furious, he looks unlike the man Danny fought before, the one unruffled and untouched, unbothered by the world around him. It's familiar, but not like the way a reflection is.
"What's that supposed to mean." The Other hisses, matching Danny's scowl one-for-one with fangs much bigger and sharper than his.
But there's a reason lions fear hyenas. Danny matches the rumble in The Other's chest with one of his own, and shoves his face close to his. "I don't lose."
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tubbytarchia · 9 months ago
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I don't know what this is all I know is that LimL Joel makes me really emotional
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deoidesign · 3 months ago
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"what do hands mean about a character?"
Their hands mean they love eachother
(webcomic)
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s0fter-sin · 3 months ago
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ghost fucking soap so hard and so good he passes out but he utterly panics about it
he thinks he must’ve ignored soap asking to stop; was it pain that made him pass out? how bad could it have been to make him pass out when he’s been shot and kept going? should he bring him to medical? he’ll never touch him again, he’ll never so much as look at him again; he’ll ask for a transfer- fuck that, a dishonourable discharge. there’s no coming back from this
he spirals, guilt chasing hatred chasing despair chasing fear, until soap finally wakes back up
soap's still floating, loose-limbed and buzzing; fucked so thoroughly out of his head that it takes him a while to notice ghost isn't in bed with him anymore. he frowns, lifting a heavy head off the pillow and freezes. ghost's on the other side of the room, curled up tight in the corner as far away from soap as he could get without leaving him alone
(he would've left, would've made sure soap never had to see his face again and be reminded of what he did to him, of the monster he’d let into his bed- but he couldn't just leave him unconscious; what if he didn't wake up, he had to make sure he was safe first even if he'll rightfully hate him forever when he does wake up)
soap's voice when he calls out to him makes him flinch, his head burying deeper in his knees. cold worry chases the bliss from his blood and soap pushes himself up but his shaking arms can't hold his weight
the sound of him collapsing back onto the bed makes ghost rear up, his panic growing and soap's heart breaks at his red rimmed eyes
it takes a long time for soap to coax him back to the bed, countless loops of, "sweetheart, please, come here, what happened? it's okay, everything’s going to be okay.”
(and how ghost’s self-hatred grows hearing soap comforting him; hearing the concern and love in his voice when he doesn’t deserve a drop of it)
it takes even longer for ghost to believe soap when he says that he passed out because he felt so good; that he never asked ghost to stop, never wanted him to stop. that he trusts him more than anything and knows he'd rather die than ever hurt him, especially like that
“you’re not a monster, love,” he promises, soft with conviction and it’s as much a surrender as a relief when he collapses into his lap and lets him hold him close
ghost believes johnny but he still can't bring himself to be intimate with him for a while; that fear still haunting him, but soap doesn't hold it against him, doesn't complain about ghost's perceived "step back" in their relationship
hell, ghost seems to hate it more than he does; he misses being with soap, misses the connection, the closeness they shared, the safety and quiet he found in his embrace, but he's always trusted soap more than he trusts himself
soap doesn't let him be consumed by his fear or worse, sabotage them and turn it into a punishment; doesn't let him even get through the suggestion of switching because he knows how much he hates it and he won’t let him twist something as good and pure as their physical love into something self-harming
instead, he brings them back to the basics, working through the steps to get ghost comfortable with intimacy again, to get him to trust himself again; spends happy months just grinding and exchanging handjobs like when their relationship first started
and it's a happy day for them both when soap finally falls apart on his cock once again, anxiety the farthest thing from ghost's mind when his arms are wrapped so tightly around him, kissing a smile against his lips
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bonetrousledbones · 11 months ago
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so when are we gonna start appreciating undertale AUs for fueling a metric fuck ton of the creativity and longevity of the fandom because if i see one more person calling them the cringiest part of the last 8 years i might lose it
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wannabemylover · 1 year ago
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rewatching the first episode of Hannibal and holy shit I forgot how good this is but it's actually insane that Brian fuller set up the ep like this, he introduces will and Hannibal by first briefly showing them at their core, at the darkest, most vile part of them---we get a glimpse behind the curtain---and then its gone, the curtain is snapped shut and we see their masks, their human suits.
Will empathizes with killers because he likes it, and he wants to kill but he refuses to give into the urge because he knows how much he'll like it and he won't be able to stop. So he lives vicariously through other killers, satisfying his own dark urge by feeding it little morsels of secondhand blood lust. Every crime scene he works gives the urge something that satisfies it, not enough for it to grow, but enough for it be sate. Enough that he can ignore it for long enough that he can walk around and be Professor Will Graham who is Weird, Brash, and Non-sociable.
And Hannibal is a cannibal at night and a psychiatrist by morning.
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brainrotisseriechicken · 7 months ago
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hi....scrapped wip again. im rlly not built for color. yap incoming
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sorry my productivity tanked my 7 year old laptop is nearing its final breath and im just stalling buying a new one as long as possible to not violate the boycott but she (laptop) is making this shit DIFFICULT
im gnna be so honest w yall i havent had the drive to do shit all lately like. i need dopamine kicks to function but nothings working for some reason ??? i bought a jjk book and i fucking love jjk so i should be excited but im ??? not????? fucked up how that works
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royalarchivist · 2 years ago
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Quackity: There's also a button to toggle, so in case you're talking to people in English, you can toggle it.
Slimecicle: I'm never gonna speak to anyone in English again
[...]
Slimecicle: I feel like a baby that has learned how to speak! Bababa, bababah.
Fit & Maximus: Baba, baba, baba, baba, babah -
Slimecicle: I like that we've gotten a thing to translate all languages, and now we speak none.
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themyscirah · 6 months ago
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Complaining abt Suicide Squad yet again but the fact that they have Waller exposing the alien community to space racist attacks and talking abt how she got to her position through deceit and being a terrible person and stuff is just. Ahsfiwueh JUST SAY YOU DONT KNOW WALLER.
Anyways literally the 3rd mission of the Squad ever (and the first framed as smth Waller picked and not orders from above) was the Squad discrediting and stopping a rogue vigilante who was only arresting POC and funneling white people into white supremacy groups (of which he was the most prominent member) in SUICIDE SQUAD #4. and it's explicitly framed as this mission being personal for Waller that she's hiding from the government bc its illegal like. Guys. Please why are we having her incite (space bc comics) racist attacks now
Also the whole "Amanda got her position through deceit and being a terrible person" NO. she KEPT her position through being shitty and playing complicated political games!!! She wasn't always that way like there is a difference and it is IMPORTANT ppl PLEASEEEE. In Secret Origins #14 we learn Amanda's backstory and she used to be a normal, caring person! Like even after she entered into working in government and politics she wasn't automatically morally bankrupt like please people. She was originally given control of the Squad by Reagan (*sigh* 80s comics...) to distract and get rid of her because she was so successful at pushing progressive social policy in Congress. Acting like she's this static pillar of evil is such a waste of her character and so fucking uninteresting and disrespectful to her arc it drives me MAD.
Like I am NOT saying Waller is all sunshine and rainbows, she fucking SUCKS (said w love <3) but like there's a human being there. It's a progression, she has a character arc like please, DC, please!!! They've fucked up Waller so bad and made her so opaque and uninteresting she can't even be the protagonist of her own story for fucks sake!
Like I don't know how many times I have to scream it until DC hears me or remembers but WALLER IS THE MAIN CHARACTER OF SUICIDE SQUAD. ITS HER BOOK. yet right now she's a cutout to be used as the villain wherever the writers please. Even in her book we get none of her perspective really displayed, no exploration of her thoughts with any kind of understanding of the role she traditionally has played and was made to play in the story.
#its like youre unable to root for her in any form. which is annoying bc shes actually awesome actually#also having her say “actually im the good guy fuck you'' w/o any actual deep analysis of her psyche or whatever while doing these things#doesnt count as development or showing shes 3 dimensional. its just having 2 dimensional waller say shes right when everyone is obviously#supposed to believe shes wrong#anyways i want real waller back please i miss herrrrrrrr#anyways hope mr john ridley has read secret origins no 14. i know its from 1987 but please guys please. my only hope#also it was a few months ago but i think they tried to push certain elements of a diff backstory in dream team and sorry but fuck that. and#any mention of another waller background like my eyes are closed sry. im a preboot truther#actually im just ignorant of most squad comics outside the original series. im gonna do a readthrough and become knowledgeable on other#stuff i just need to find time. so if im wrong then sorry if its smth factual and if you disagree with my opinion then uh sorry for ur loss#anyways shoutout to the time i had a nerd night w my one friend and she was asking me abt dc and said my favorite villains and i said waller#and silver swan. and she had a “yuck WHY” to waller and a ???? to silver swan. love shouting out my faves and explaining them to the less#informed. didnt say a number 3 but would probably be parallax ig. idk hes kind of slay. or maybe someone else honestly i like hal but waller#and nessie are blorbo level for me i could think abt them for hours#or maybe it wouldnt be parallax actually idk who my 3 would be. hes definitely up there but way below the other 2. maybe the cheetah#interpretation that i personally have. v different from the popular cheetah interpretation esp rucka vers actually. much closer to the pérez#and esp develops some subtext there surrounding barbara and the exploitation and theft of sacred cultural artifacts and pieces but also#like british colonization a lil bit#but i actually despise the cheetah that lives in my head but think shed be interesting to use narratively and see diana fight#vs the other guys who i find interesting and sympathetic and like for themselves#whereas my fave interpretation of cheetah can rot in hell#i got off topic here#blah#swishy rant#also disclaimer that w the main character ik dreamer is the main character of dream team. im talking more in general and that amanda should#always have a huge role as shes the main character of the squad and yet is treated like its villain and not its protag#sui sq
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gifti3 · 5 months ago
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So i headcanon that demons (maybe angels too) have more than 1 heart…
Imagine that one day your demon darling invite you to dinner and ofc you agree! So you’re talking with them waiting for ur meal then it arrives. On the plate it’s a cooked DEMON heart and it’s not just any demon heart it’s your demon’s heart. Them smiling and said “do you like it?”
Apparently, demon do that to express love to their mates and it’s also one of the most imtimate ways (in demon’s sense) to show love.
I need more contents of the boys actually being demon 😔
i fuck with this, not gonna lie
the monsterfucker in me is always intrigued by the differences in how a nonhuman would express their love lmao of course most people would be surprised if their demon lover presented them with their second heart but after initial shock and them explaining if you think about it….you cant help but be (strangely?) touched like wow this person really likes me huh (///∇///) so we r pretty much soulmates! presenting one of ur hearts is a pretty big deal just from a logical standpoint, cause u forever nerfed urself for someone
now actually eating the heart is a whole nother question lmaoo
yea you know demons sometimes like to eat each other (and humans sometimes) but humans dont really do that as a casual activity and it usually gets you ostracized lol
u cant help but feel a little bad not eating it though…they cooked their whole second heart, they had it removed from their body which probably wasnt a painless thing to do but for your demon its mainly a way for them to show their devotion more than anything ,,,tho i know some of those brothers were actually expecting you to eat it lol it would be very funny if you both were sitting there after you were like aww thats so sweet and then he was like….well r u gonna eat it? :]
asmo and mammon come to mind first honestly LMAO
asmo is “kind of” intense when it comes to love and the mammon is a tsundere--"well...are you gonna eat it or what?"(//︶^︶)typa deal--so thats why i say that
and then maybe beel and belphie
beel cause i feel like it might go over his head at first (especially since this involves food) but then he'll remember like oh right humans dont eat that my bad
belphie i just think is hopeful you know...if that makes sense, so hes not surprised if you dont wanna eat it but maybe a bit huffy about it
i think satan and lucifer are too smart and like “normal” to actually expect a human to do that
while levi is... levi
hed probably get self conscious and be like well yea of course they wouldnt wanna eat my heart...
and then u gotta really reassure him its not him its you :d
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puppyeared · 4 months ago
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started stardew valley for the first time. born to remember villager likes and dislikes forced to immediately forget it the moment i take my eyes off thw wiki
#HELP. HEEEELPP <- THE FORGETTER#i have 18 different tabs open and im pretty sure half of them are duplicates. i have not made anything past 5000G i am so cooked#rn im at summer 11 ish?? i cant remember dates in real life either jesus christ GRIPPING THE COMMUNITY CALENDAR WITH MY BARE HANDS#my ass really went into this like “ill just take it easy and go into it blind so i get the newborn baby deer experience" completely ignoran#to the fact that i get anxious disappointing ppl and not having any background knowledge going into smth new. like a FOOL#also the walking speed is just slow enough to make me space out and forget where i was going and what i needed to do head in my hands#ive had to backtrack all over pelican town so many different times im in fucking adhd hell. resource management hell#im saying this like i hate it but its actually pretty fun and engaging when im not gripping my head trying to remember what i was doing#i got linus' 2 heart event and it made me whimper a little. LINUSSS LINUS I LIKE HIM. AND WILLY AND MARNIE THEYRE SO NICEYS#marnie kinda like.. reminds me of my friends mom even her face is pretty similar. shes sweet i like her. also willy calls me lad hes cool#i think im just gonna start a new save and NOT rely on the fucking mixed seed forages bc my ass was too stubborn to buy seeds#i just got sebastians 2 heart event too ughhh ive never had to work so hard for an emo boys approval. but it was satisfying#corn will fix me. its a replenishable summer-fall crop corn has to fucking fix me PLEASE#i also. made a stardew valley farmer. the one im playing as. their name is cosmo they have a backstory and everything im making#him a ref. his backstory is so fucking funny just wait#yapping#diary#puppy plays sdv
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odysseys-blood · 7 months ago
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i think its very fun to consider the mc as another king like obviously not the same way as the devil kings but in two ways: one being that you are the descendant of the wise king, solomon, and what he had has been inherited by you, but also as in the mc having rule over a very small, but wholly devoted kingdom.
and by that i mean minhyeok.
sure it was a kids game, him swearing his loyalty to you and you ordaining him as your knight, but that kids game became his reality. he is your only subject but he will never leave you. whatever he can do to protect you, he'll jump to it in a heartbeat even if in the end it costs him his life. but a king cannot be a king with no one to rule, which is why when it was your turn to save him there was no hesitation to literally make a deal with the devil to keep him alive. and he will wait as long as it takes until you return and he can be by your side again
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clearnachopirate · 27 days ago
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Am I the only one who, when Charles pushed the NightNurse into the ocean, was absolutely with him???
Like, his job is the best the brawns, to protect Edwin (and now Crystal, a human who can DIE) and this person wants to send his husband best mate back to hell and they also have a problem that is causing MORE PEOPLE to DIE.
Guys, of course he did that. He was defending his people and saving lives. It was absolutely not too extreme. The NightNurse was a threat. Angie was a threat. He neutralized them, because that's what his job is!
Was it shocking? Yes bc we know how much he values life. Was it necessary? I believe it was
Anyways I rest my case prosecution may call their first witness or whatever
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