#and when I was at the hight of my anxiety and hiding in my room she... IDK took it personally or something and started ignoring me

[krazy-ky-sta-hatter]

...One day I am going to snap and blow a fuse.

I'm trying to get over my anxiety, and every time I think I might be okay to venture out into the rest of the house again, my flatmate brings people around without telling me again, and I'm back to square one.

[juminsmysticmc]

Hello! Can we get a MC who is terrified of falling. Like hights are ok, put her in a plane and she’d want the window seat, roller coaster she wants the front row. But have her get on a ladder, Ferris wheel or walk over an overpass. And, oh look at that anxiety and fear has returned. Her breathing becomes uneven, she might freeze up or start to shake. How would the RFA+duo help her or calm her down in these cases?

RFA + Minor Duo with a MC who is terrified of falling

Hello did you call me? Although my fear is kinda different, like, I can fo on the Ferris Wheel or so but don’t let me walk staircases or god leave me alone with double beds, hahaha! I always needed my friend’s hand when we had to walk on these high bars at school for the sports lesson….well, I hope you enjoy the HC! Please tell me your opinion dear!

Jumin

As the wife of Jumin Han, you often had to go on a plane with him to visit very important people who also invited you. When Jumin first found out that you were scared, it was on the way to your honeymoon. The both of you were at the airport and you were just about to get on his private plane when you suddenly stopped walking and grabbed his hand. ,,My love, is everything alright?’’ he asked you, stroking your hand. ,,Yes, yes, Jumin, it’s just, I am too scared to… to… walk on the ladder…’’ you mumbled. His plane was really big. It took Jumin a while to understand what you were trying to tell him, but when your hand began to get sweaty he began to understand that you were scared. He took off his tie and used it to cover your eyes. ,,Ju-Jumin?!’’ you called his name. ,,Mc, don’t be scared. I will lead the way. Trust me. I won’t make you fall for anything in the world,’’ he whispered and helped you to slowly get on the plane.  ,,The window. I need a window seat…’’ you told him. Jumin couldn’t understand the reason because he thought that if someone is scared, they don’t want to look down, but apparently, you were different. Of course, the flight went well, but as soon as you were on the ground again you had to throw up because of the panic. And that triggered Jumin into finding a solution for you and your phobia.

Zen

A few years passed since you and Zen got to know each other. Zen first wanted to get his family approval before he would ask you to marry him, but since it didn’t work out and in his opinion, you waited for too long, he decided to bring you to the park and propose to you on the Ferris wheel. This ended up being a mistake. There were still a few things he didn’t know about you, even though you guys were together for so long. For example, he didn’t know that you were afraid of heights. Well, at least he found out. Hyun Ryu aka your future husband planned everything in his head. He didn’t know that real life had something else for him. For example, you cried in front of the big wheel for ten minutes. ,,I don’t want to, Hyun!’’ you sobbed. ,,Why, Mc? I have something important to ask you!’’ he begged you. He even prepared some fireworks which would begin as soon as you were on top. He planned to ask you to marry him, you to say yes, and then kiss you while the colorful flowers in the background made everything look even better. But at this point, he wasn’t sure if this would all have a happy ending. Still not telling him that you were scared, you finally went up with him. ,,Okay, still right on time,’’ Zen mumbled to himself, noticing finally that you were pale. ,,What’s wrong, princess?’’ he asked you, concerned, and took your hand. ,,I… am terrified of falling…’’ you gasped. Zen went on his knees, knowing that this was the perfect moment to make you think of something else. ,,Hyun…’’ you gasped and nodded, immediately jumping up and yelling out of fear. Zen quickly took you in his arms and kissed you. Just like he planned, the fireworks began. ,,I will protect you now, later, tomorrow, and in the future, okay? You have nothing to fear with me,’’ he kissed you again.

Yoosung

,,Do we really need to go on that?’’ you asked Yoosung. Both of you were in Japan visiting the Tokyo Tower. However, both of you now realized that you were scared. ,,Uhm, the guide is going up so I guess we have to follow,’’ Yoosung mumbled and took your hand. ,,Let’s go through this together in good and bad times,’’ he quoted what his father said when the both of you got married seven years ago. You had to laugh at his comment, but this wasn’t the last time. Yoosung tried to distract the both of you while making jokes and being kind of dumb. That way you two actually forgot that you were really high and missed what the tour guide tried to tell you. But when the two of you arrived, you actually forgot your fears and enjoyed the wonderful view. You decided to take pictures of the view, yourself, and the two of you together. ,,At least we don’t need lessons from V, like Jumin does, to take pictures,’’ you laughed and kissed your husband. ,,We came up here together. I can’t believe it,’’ you smiled. Well, the next problem was to get back down. But this was perfectly fine since you two literally ran down.

Jaehee

,,Oh, oh! OHH I’M FALLING!!’’ you cried on the ladder, a few feet from the floor. Jaehee couldn’t help but laugh at you. ,,Not funny, Jaehee!’’ you whined and tried to hold yourself at something. Your girlfriend immediately gave you her hand and reassured you that it was going to be alright since she was by your side. Changing the light bulb was hard… When Jaehee however noticed that you began to turn pale and tremble, she helped you get down. You were really scared by now and couldn’t even move your legs. ,,Mc, I am by your side, don’t be scared…’’ she tried to calm you, now actually feeling guilty. Trying her best, Jaehee took a blanket, the cookies she had, and turned on the TV to watch a DVD from Zen. Indeed, she was able to help you and swore to herself that she would never laugh at you for being scared.

Saeyoung

Your future husband was desperate. The both of you were on the rollercoaster, but since you couldn’t be in the first row, you began to shiver, cry, and hyperventilate. By now he understood that you were scared, but he didn’t know what to do. Patting your back he pressed your face in his chest while you helplessly mumbled that you didn’t want to fall. ,,We won’t fall, Mc, I swear,’’ he tried to make you feel better. He could finally breathe again when the both of you had gotten down. However, the fear suddenly made you collapse in his arms, making him freak out even more. ,,Gosh, Mc, don’t die on me! What will I do without you?’’ he began to cry and picked you up bridal style to lie you down somewhere where you could stay alone. Saeyoung luckily always carried around some water and managed to wake you up while spilling some on your face. ,,I will get you a cookie ice cream, okay? But please don’t faint ever again, okay? Even if we fall, I will be there to catch you, like a superhero…’’

Saeran

Your boyfriend and you for once decided to walk around Seoul, the city you were now living in. You guys never used your time to see what the big capital had for you. And so, since Saeran needed a break, you guys decided to walk around today. Saeran was so eager to see everything in the city and so it was even harder to tell him that you weren’t comfortable walking up the stairs. They were just so high. Of course the view was amazing, but you weren't able to enjoy it. It got even worse when Saeran wanted to walk over a bridge. And not one of the good bridges like the Han Bridge, no. A long old wooden bridge. Saeran was already in the middle when you broke down in fear. ,,Mc? MC!“ he called you and ran all the way back, making you feel even more anxious. Hugging you and making you cry into the shoulder, he asked you about the reason for your tears. ,,What?“ he asked you when you mumbled that you were really afraid of heights. ,,Okay, I understand…“ he mumbled and picked you up bridal style. He pressed your head against him to prevent you from looking as he walked all the way down once again. ,,I will always love and support you, Mc. You're my angel…“

Jihyun

,,I don’t think I can do it, Jihyun,“ you mumbled, looking at the high place. Your puffy wedding dress moved a bit as a light wind blew across you. A swing was hanging on a very high place. The place was so high that you had to walk up a ladder and sit down on a swing from that place. The people would then let go of the swing little by little so that you would be in the air. And Jihyun planned to take a picture of you like that. ,,Didn‘t you see the picture I sent you on Instagram? It’s so beautiful! We need to do it too!“ Jihyun was excited about the hit. But suddenly your face turned pale and you just felt sick at the thought of getting a picture like that. Did he want to make you die on your wedding day? You opened your mouth but noticed that you couldn’t speak at all. Instead, a solely sob came out of your mouth and then tears. ,,Good job, the whole makeup look will be destroyed… Who makes their bride cry on her wedding day?“ Zen asked. Jihyun was totally puzzled. ,,I‘m scared of high places…“ you mumbled… Jihyun nodded and kissed you on your forehead. But since he still wanted to make a wonderful picture of you to put it in your room, he ordered them to let the swing hang only three centimeters from the ledge. Jihyun really had the eyes and hands of a photographer. He ordered Yoosung to go behind the swing and put a beautiful fabric on the swing to hide him. Then he asked Mc if she could stand on the swing while Yoosung held her. And after you agreed to it and he had his picture, he kissed and cuddled with you the whole day.

MASTERLIST 1

MASTERLIST 2

MASTERLIST 3

19.10.2020// 22:57 MEST

[melyaliz]

Past loves and future babies pt. 3

Masterlist 

Fandom: Marvel / MCU 

Summary: Dinner, Drinks and what comes after 

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OC 

Notes: No one really voted... BUT @thespacebuns reblogged with comments and I decided to give her another chapter :P 

All Masterlists @melyalizarchive

Connect with me! AO3 / Instagram / Pinterest

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----------------------------

Before the snap Dixie and Mac had been on their own. The two siblings running across the world just getting hired out as muscle men, hackers, grifters, really anything they could do to make some money. 

Then the snap happened. 

Dixie remembered standing between an open safe and five gun men. Mac screaming in her ear to get out. Fear in his voice making it hard for her to focus. But she knew the drill when she was caught with her back against the wall, do whatever she could to get out of there. 

And then four of them men disappear. Crumbled into ash before her very eyes. The other guy freaked out not sure what to do. Calling out to his comrades. His own shocked yells slowly starting to echo more screams throughout the building as both her and the last gunman walked out. People all around them running out yelling. Trying to escape whatever was happening while their fellow coworkers crumbed around them like some horrible nightmare.

Dixie screamed Mac’s name. Her head set filling with static as she raced toward the door. She kept screaming his name so hard she was sure she tasted blood. Bolting from the building rushing toward the van nearly ripping the door off as she opined it. 

“Dixie!?! What the hell is going on?” her brother had asked his eyes wide as he stood there in pure shock. 

“I don’t know.” 

Since that day their dealings just left of the law slowly stopped. Instead becoming like a second defense to the cops. So many people, unsure what to do, had decided now was the time to play Grand Theft Auto IRL. Leaving millions of defenseless people alone with a lack of defense.

Luckily for Dixie and Mac they weren’t the only ones who had shifted toward protecting those who couldn’t. In fact, it felt like whoever was left had really chosen a side.

Those who were in it for themselves and those who were in it for others. 

Mac had found many resources during those times while on the web. People giving them tips on where to go and who to help. 

One in particular was a former cameraman for NBC news named Logan. 

Logan was funny, handsome, and had lost his wife. 

Mac had warned her, the moment they had met him. He had known it was Dixie’s type. Just out of reach. But she couldn’t help herself. 

It was like Dixie’s heart knew, fall in love with the ones you can never really have. Just another trick deeply ingrained in her subconscious as a way to protect herself. Remind herself that no matter how close they got there would always be something in the way. 

Logan joined their team along with a few others. Roaming the country finding people in need. Meeting up with other do-gooders helping those who couldn’t. 

And then everyone came back. 

And again, it was just Dixie and Mac. 

Alone together. 

--------------------------

Dinner was so much fun, everyone talking and joking while passing around the food. It almost felt like a TV version of a thanksgiving dinner. The way everyone was so comfortable around each other. The history. 

Dixie felt a little out of place but the great thing about food was that you could shove your mouth so no one expected you to talk. It wasn’t like Dixie didn’t like chatting with strangers but… she felt a little like a cow at this point. 

So she ate keeping her posture as small as possible as a way to minimize her presence and keep conversation away from her.  

Or that was what she had thought until Bucky met her gaze from across the table. Before she  could shift her gaze he spoke. “How did you like the suite?”

Nodding Dixie quickly swallowed the large bite of chow mein she had been shoving into her mouth. “It’s better than my old shitty apartment.” 

Bucky chuckled, “Tony keeps this place amazing.”

“The view is really nice,” Steve added, glancing over at Dixie. For a moment she wondered if he was trying to get her approval the way he was looking at her. Wide blue eyes searching her so intently.  

“So where did you live before this?” Bucky asked.

Dixie’s mind raced, where had she lived? Everywhere. Her and Mac moved from city to city pretty often trying to find places that rented for 6 months or less. While she knew she had to be here… you know to save the world. She wasn’t sure how open minded the avengers were to her past days for hire. 

“Arizona before this,” she smiled shrugging, “Tacos were amazing.” 

“I bet, it’s been a while since I have been in that area,"

Well it's pretty hot this time of year"

More small talk continued. Moving past her to something else. Tony’s house in the cabin or how he and Bucky’s arms matched. Well different arms but still. It was weird getting a glimpse into this side of them. All laughing and talking, trading stories and jokes like they were all highschool friends and not savors of the world. There was so much history Dixie almost felt like she was an outsider looking in. 

Which in a way she was.

The conversation went from the dining room to the large main room. There was a fully stocked bar. Tony started mixing drinks. Sam teasing Bucky about some mission they had gone on. Conversation flowed easily as they all laughed and joked around relaxing into the evening.. 

It was warm. These people were a family. Maybe bigger than Dixie and Mac but a family none the less.She had always believed that you could find family anywhere and these people, the greatest heros, were proof of that.  

As the night dragged on she watched curled up on a couch her eyes slowly getting heavier and heavier. 

Then a soft hand slowly brushed over hers pulling her awake. Turing she met Steve’s blue eyes. 

“You look like your are about to fall asleep” 

Smiling gratefully she nodded running her fingers through her hair. Getting up she followed Steve toward their apartment. Most of the team had gone back to their rooms. Bucky still there resting with a glass of scotch relaxing just listening to the music. He had been talking to Steve a few moments earlier, Dixie hadn’t caught the conversation comfortable with her own thoughts. 

It could have been the long day, or the alcohol and amazing food but Dixie didn’t really think much about what “going back meant.” Or that had been the case until they were there.  

Standing in front of the bedroom.

Oh yeah.

This is why she was here. 

Slowly Steve -annoyingly- opened the door for her. For a moment Dixie considered telling him to stop. Stop trying to be so nice and just be himself. 

She had seen a glimpse of it tonight with his team. He was so much more laid back and casual. 

Maybe someday she would be able to get him to act like that with her. When they were alone. She was good at breaking people down. Especially the uptight ones. She just needed to find the right buttons to push. Mac had always joked she had that little sister quality about her, being able to push buttons.

“Soooo” she said as they both stood in the doorway looking into the bedroom. Still so bare and sterile. A strip of moonlight spanned across the room shining on the bed like some weird silver spot light. Even the universe was laughing at them right now. 

Ha ha you have to have sex. 

Dixie would have found it funny if the guy next to her wasn’t so tense. 

It was so thick she could almost taste it on her tongue. The way he stood, the way his arms seemed to flex under his tight black tee. His hands clenched at his sides. Mouth in a tight line. He was totally unreadable and totally transparent at the same time. 

Letting out a long sigh she walked toward the bed slowly pulling off her shirt and shimmying out of her jeans. Behind her she heard Steve take a deep shuddering breath. His nerves getting the best of him.

He wasn’t the only one who was trying to hide his emotions. Dixie’s own emotions were like small bursts of nervous energy as she threw herself onto the bed. Rolling into the center pulling a pillow to herself looking back at her future baby daddy. 

“Well at least it’s comfortable.” she flashed him a smile moving a little to get more comfortable. He flashed her a small smile before pulling off his own shirt and then pants. Slowly folding them before putting them on the floor.

Dixie couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow not sure if he was just stalling or if he was really that anal. She would log that away for later. 

Steve stood now, shirtless in his boxers just looking at her, arms resting at his sides. His hands were a little more relaxed this time much to Dixie’s relief.  She looked up at him through thick lashes as she sat cross legged on the bed. Both of them just staring at the other unsure what to do next. 

“Did you… want to… this is a pretty cozy bed.” she faltered patting the mattress next to her. That same anxiety building up in her chest. Crashing like hot waves in her stomach. Building up before dropping fast and rough as the bed dipped with Steve’s weight as he sat down. 

“Can I kiss you?” he asked, turning to  face her scooting closer before gently pulling her closer.

“You don’t have to ask” she nodded slowly closing her eyes. 

He was so gentle when he kissed her. As if she was going to break under his touch. Something about that tender touch hurt deeper than if he had slapped her. It made her dizzy as if she was standing on the edge of a 100 foot drop.

And Dixie hated hights. 

Grabbing him she pulled him closer moving forward so she could position herself up and over his legs and get onto his lap. He grunted, moving back slightly, his hands resting behind him to brace himself as Dixie wrapped her own legs around his waist. Pulling away she looked down at him, studying his face. A million dumb commnets ran thought her head but she fought not say them aloud. Trying not to ruin the moment instead choosing to keep her big mouth busy with his lips. 

His hands reached around her hips, unsure what to do not really touching her. Reaching down she took them encurling them around her before going back to his hair. 

They kept kissing 

And kissing 

And kissing 

“Ok my lips are getting raw” Dixie giggled pulling away. She could feel his getting a bit hard under her. She wasn’t sure how hard considering she also didn’t know… how big he was. But at least she knew she was doing something. At least he found her attractive.

That was good. Because if he didn’t this whole process would be that much more of a struggle. 

Not that she was against wearing a paper bag.

A girl’s got to do what a girl’s got to do when saving the future.  

“I’m sorry” a pained expression spread across his face. His hand reaching up gently pushing away her hair, his blue eyes slightly wide his breath coming out slightly short. 

She studied him, her fingers going for his face thumbs stroking his cheek. 

“I’m not going to bite you” she whispered, “unless you're into that.” 

The tension was cut and he chuckled pushing her forward so she was laying on her back. He kissed her again before pulling away “Oh sorry.” 

“Shhh stop apologizing” she whispered wrapping her legs around his waist again before rubbing his arm. Pulling herself up she kissed but above his collar bone in the dip of his neck. Much to her pleasure she heard Steve’s breath hitched fingers gripping the blankets on either side of her. 

Pulling away she watched as he positioned himself on top of her again kissing her neck this time. Following her example. His fingers fumbling over her totally unsure what to do. His kisses hesitant.

This really wasn’t working. 

"Stop stop," she said pushing his very toned chest gently, "we don't have to rush this.” 

“I…” he sat back looking perplexed, upset maybe. Mostly just awkward. This whole things was just so damn awkward.  

Smiling she laid down beckoning him to lay next to her, “Let’s just cuddle, we don’t need to rush anything.”  

“Ok” slowly he laid down next to her, his face only inches from hers. 

“No” 

“What?” Steve frowned studying her as Dixie shook her head. 

“Turn around.” 

“I… ok…” he said slowly turning his huge back facing her. 

Wrapping her arms around his waist she pulled herself closer spooning him. It was easier this way she could pretend he was a huge pillow. A very muscular pillow.  Closing her eyes Dixie buried her nose in his neck taking in his warm scent. He smelled like warm flannels and justice. 

Whatever justice smelled like. 

She felt his large hand enveloping hers pulling her arms tighter around him. Thumb drawing small circles over her skin. The touch sending small goose bumps up her arm. 

“We’re in this together ok.” she said, her warm breath fanning over his neck, “you just have to be open with me, we can go any any pace you want.”  

‘Thank you” he whispered so softly she might have missed it. Maybe it was her imagination. 

After all, what did THE Captain America have to worry about? 

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@itsmeeluciie

[lady-of-lies]

Lost control

A/N: Prompt 20 everyone!! I’m catching up slowly but surely and as always this is not edited at all and not my best work, but I hope it can be enjoyable to someone at least... When the dance scene takes place this was what I imagined but there is nothing descriptive in the peice so you can also just imagine something on your own

Prompt: “Oh, my dear. You have nothing to apologize for.”

Word count: 906

Warnings: mentions of anxiety and shyness

(slight) Tony Stark x reader

Shyness. It’s that thing in the back of your head making even the most trivial matters seem mountain hight. Sure, anxiety may play another part, but the base of it all descended from that darn shyness you had harnessed since childhood. There was only one thing that could calm your mind down once it had begun its hysterical merry-go-round. Dancing. You didn’t have a particular style when dancing, you just let your heart lead your body to the music, baring your soul to the empty room you liked to hide away in.

When you first got onto the team you had thought Tony to be joking as he showed you your room. It was huge. Much too big for someone like you living alone, but he had insisted that each Avenger had a room in a similar size, some even had bigger per special requests or requirements. When he had walked out that day you had just stood paralyzed in the middle of the enormous space. At first you just thought of how lucky you are to be a part of the world's most elite team of heroes, then you let your mind wander for a bit and thought of how on earth you’d ever fill up all the extra floor space you’d gotten.

Since that day you had in your own mind found the perfect interior design. It was both aesthetically pleasing and mind calming in your eyes. Tony had been bothering you a few times if you wanted to borrow some money or if you simply wanted him to buy you some more furniture. Each time that happened you politely declined. You were more than content with your room, true, you might have left a huge chunk of it unfurnished, but that was because of a very simple and very important promise to yourself. You had made a promise that, no matter how hard life got, you would never stop dancing. 

Today had been a particularly hard day, nothing had ended the way it was supposed to and your nerves had one by one been put on edge. You felt the carousel of your mind spinning out of control and when you finally had the opportunity to leave for your room you took it without a second thought. That left you were you were currently sitting. On the floor just staring right in front of you trying to make the spinning stop. You should have known better, really, you, if anyone, should know by now that there is only one way to calm down your racing mind and calm the laboured breathing. Dance.

You didn’t even have to ask F.R.I.D.A.Y to play your special playlist, when you rose to your feet and shedded a few unnecessary layers of clothing the music started on its own. It was something you made a mental note to thank the al for later, but then again, after all the times you’d found yourself in this situation even a one year old could find a pattern. For a moment you simply stood still, letting the song wash over you in silent waves, and when the moment felt right, you started to move to the beat.

It was a feeling like no other when you moved. You always ended up feeling at peace afterwards. But when the final note ebbed out in the room someone started to applaud behind you. You whirled around so fast you almost fell over, behind you stood none other than the towers original owner. Tony Stark. Your mind started to act up again, a million questions popped up and disappeared as soon as they came. Had he seen you? Had you been too loud? How long had he been standing there? The endless possibilities of questions to ask and just as many answer options, but in the end you went down your default path: the self cautious one.

“Oh, uhm… I’m sorry, did I play too loud?”

For a moment the both of you just staring at each other. Or more accurately, him staring at you while you wanted nothing more than to dig a hole in the ground and sink down in it. How could you have been so careless and forgotten to lock the door? Especially when you know that the other teammates are sitting in a common room right below you as you jump around, you probably made them think there was some sort of attack happening, or you made the chandelier shake in your movements, nether options being believable but to your mind right now nothing was impossible. It took a second for your brain to register Tony talking.

“ - Oh, my dear. You have nothing to apologize for. That’s it. I’m getting you a bigger room.”

And with that he just walked out. He did come back later though, to escort you down the hall, up two floors and to the right. The new room he had designed after you was even bigger than the other one. And that is the story how you ended up with the biggest room in the whole tower, a room that put your old apartment t shame, complete with mirrors, barrés and everything you could ever want. Maybe being a part of this team wasn’t all that bad.

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[that-trash08]

The lost and the fallen-Part 1

-------------------------------

Aight...I'm in a not great place right now...so this...all angst. There is some fluff but.. mostly amgst. I'm sorry but I need to write something and this is what came to mind. Sorry it's so sad.. it's also winged! au. Fun. And, there will be a part two to this. Maybe even a part three if needed.

Pairings: Prinxiety, past anxeit

TW:Past relationship, some swearing. (Lemme know of there's more)

Notes:If you see this-(), then it's a character speaking in their mind

The sides colors:

Deceit

Virgil

Roman

Patton

Logan(his will be the same color, so look out for this style for Logan)

------------------------------------------

Damn....he could remember it like it was yesterday, even though the incident happened years ago. What's the incident you may ask? And who's he? He would be Roman. Roman Prince. And the incident..well.....

It all started about four years ago. One night, Virgil and Deceit got into a huge fight. "WHY WON'T YOU JUST SAY IT?!"

"Virgil-"

"Oh, don't 'Virgil' me. It's not gonna work. Seriously, why won't you just say I love you?! It's three simple words!"

"You already know I do love you.. isn't that enough?" Virgil stood frozen for a moment before speaking.

"Y'know what Dee? If you can't even say I love you, IN WORDS, then I'm done."

"V, you can't do this! I NEED YOU!"

"Oh don't worry pal, you don't need me. You'll find someone better than me.. someone you could ACTUALLY say I love you to." As each word came out of his mouth, tears came pouring down. Was he seriously about to walk out on all he's built up? The answer is...yes. Yes he was. He was barely able to say his final goodbyes to the deceitful trait. After he did so, he turned on his heels and walked out the door, slamming it behind him. Dee just shuddered when the door slammed.

After that, Virgil walked into the light sides part of the mind scape only to find that everyone had gone to bed. So, he went into the living room and sat by the fire, tears still coming down his face. As tears came down, his sobs got louder and it got harder for him to breathe. And of course, of all people to hear this, it was Roman. As he lied there in bed, he couldn't stop hearing Virgil downstairs. So, he got up and went to check on him. Of course, he didn't know who it was though. He thought it was Patton downstairs cause he had a nightmare or something. But to his surprise, it was Virgil.

"Virgil? Is that you?" Virgil looked up at him in shear fear and panic. His breathing increased rapidly and he got very dizzy. "Awe V, I'm so sorry..I didn't mean to scare you..."

(Shit, it's Roman! He's probably gonna kick me out, tell me I'm not welcome, tell me-) He was snapped out of his thoughts as he felt a gentle hand on his chest.

"V, I'm gonna need you to calm down. Here just breathe with me. In for four seconds, hold for seven, out for eight." They repeated this pattern until his breathing was under control. Roman kept softly saying things like, "Good job, you're doing great," and "keep going. Yes, just like that. There you go." Once he was mostly calm, he collapsed into Romans arms, resting his forehead on his chest gently.

"Ro..? I'm sorry for all this...I didn't mean to wake you...if you want you can kick me out..I know you don't like me being around here.." Roman just looked confused.

"Virgil, what are you talking about?" After a few moments of silence, realization hit him like a bullet...

"Aww, Virgil, I would never kick you out..you're one of us."

"Am I now? Last time I checked, you all hated me and I was one of them." He said, a little snark in his tone.

"C'mon V, we all except you now. We all care for you. You don't need to go back to the others..." he said, nothing but honesty and kindness in his tone. "So, what happened to make you cry anyway, if you don't mind me asking?"

Virgil took in a deep sigh before answering. "...Dee and I got into a fight... that goddamn snake can't even say I love you..to me at least...so as we bicker back and forth some more, I've had enough at that point and so I up and left, slammed the door. And well," he sadly chuckled, "here we are now.." Tears started to roll down his face as he looked away from Roman. "Ro, I'm really sorry...you can go back to bed if you wanna..."

"No." He answered immediately.

"N-No..?" Virgil repeated.

"No. I'm not leaving you here when you're obviously hurting." He gently took Virgil's chin into this hand and gently motioned for him to look at him. Virgil looked over to Roman, a little confused, but went with it. He refused to look him in the eye. He couldn't. He didn't want Roman to see how broken he actually was. Roman gently put one of his hands on Virgil's cheek, his thumb gently brushing away the tears. Virgil leaned in a little on the touch. They remained silent for a while until..

"Hey Virge...I know this may not be the right time but.....you know what? Just forget it.." he said, hiding a little blush.

"Ro, whatever you need to tell me, just say it." He said, reassurance on his face.

"No, it's...it's dumb..I shouldn't say it anyway...it's not the right time to say it.."

"Come on, Ro. Whatever you need to tell me, you can tell me. Surely if it's this much of a fuss, it's something that needs to be spoken. And whatever you have to say isn't stupid."

"Fine!! I-...." His words got caught in his throat. "I.....I...."

"Just spit it out already!"

"FINE!! I LIKE YOU GODDAMMIT!! AND I DIDN'T WANT TO SAY ANYTHING CAUSE I KNEW YOU JUST HAD THAT THING WITH DEE!!" Virgil had a look of surprise on his face. Before he could even say anything, Roman got up and ran to his room, slamming the door. He didn't care if it woke the others, he just needed to be alone for the moment...

The next day, Roman didn't come out of his room. Or the next day. Or the next. Patton would go up and check on him, but he locked the door. He would ask Roman, "Heya kiddo, you alright? Haven't seen you in a while and thought I'd come to see if you needed anything." There would be no answer. He would try talking to him from outside the door. But still, nothing.

As much as Roman wanted to come out, he was afraid to see Virgil. Afraid he'd get rejected. So he blocked out the world. Of course he felt bad for making his friends worry, but what else was he going to do? Be downstairs only to have his heart break as Virgil tells him off? Yeah, no. He didn't want to deal with that. He wouldn't deal with that..he wasn't going to deal with that...

Meanwhile Virgil was on the couch, just scrolling through his phone. After what Roman blurted out, he couldn't get it out of his head. And of course he was worried. In fact, over the days Roman stayed locked away in his room, his anxiety was worse. But he tried to hide it the best he could.

After a failed attempt to talk to Roman, Patton came down the stairs and sighed. "I don't get it. Why has he been like this? This not like him to just shut us out like this."

Virgil stayed quiet for a moment before speaking. "Maybe....maybe I could go talk to him? He might respond to me...."

"I mean, you can go see. I highly doubt it'll work though." Stated Logan.

"And why is that?" Virgil said, sounding a little pissed.

"Well, for starters, you two don't always exactly see eye to eye, leading in constant bickering. And-"

"Shut it." Virgil cut him off. "Him and I closer than we've ever been. And we're pretty good friends now. So don't even try saying he hates me, cause I know he really doesn't. Now, I'm going to march my ass up those stairs to go talk to him."

Virgil got up off the couch, making his way up the stairs and over to Romans room. He hesitated for a while before deciding to knock. (Come on Virge, just knock. That's all you have to do. Just knock on the damn door and just try to talk to him.) His hand hovered by the door for countless minutes. He took a deep breath and knocked on the door very gently, trying not to disturb Roman too much. No answer. He knocked a little harder, hoping he'd hear it. Still no answer. He knocked on the door really hard the next time. He didn't pound it, but knocked hard enough for him to hear.

Suddenly, he heard a small, weak, and gravely voice from the other side of the door. "What do you want...."

(Okay, now's your chance. Just don't fuck it up and we'll be good. Don't fuck it up. Don't fuck it up. Don't-) "H-Heya Ro...how you feelin?" Roman froze in his bed he was lying in. Shit..it was the person he'd been trying to avoid. Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes.

"Please...just...go away...I don't wanna talk..."

"Ro...we're all worried about you. You've locked yourself in your room, haven't eaten in, how long? Three or four days now? Please Roman...don't shut me out too..I'm here for you...just please...at least talk to me. You don't even have to let me in..." he paused for a moment. "Just at least talk to me..." He slid down against the door and put his head into his knees. Minutes had gone by and he didn't hear anything. But, he suddenly heard light shuffling from inside the door. Virgil stood to his feet as he heard the door start to unlock. Roman only opened the door just a tad. Well, at least enough to see one of his eyes and little bit of his face.

And God did he look awful. His hair was a mess, his eyes were red and swollen from crying, and he had huge bags under his eyes. Along with dark circles under his eyes. As Virgil looked into the one eye that was shown, all he could see was hurt and sadness in them. Not joy or happiness. The only words that came out of Virgil's mouth were, "Aww..Roman..."

Tears sprung to his eyes as he gave Roman a huge, tight hug, swinging open the door the rest of the way. Roman hugged back, resting his head on Virgil's shoulder. That's one thing he loved about their hight difference. Whenever he needed a hug from the shorter one, he would rest his head on his shoulder with ease cause, well, Virgil was short. Tears got onto Virgil's hoodie as he started to cry more. Virgil just rubbed his back. "Shh...Shh...it's okay. You're okay." Once Roman was settled, Virgil guided Roman to his room so they could have some privacy.

Roman was confused. "Why are we in here?"

"Cause..." sighed Virgil. "I need to tell you something. And I wanted to tell you in private.

Roman just looked worried. Oh boy, this was it. The big moment. The big bomb that would blow his heart into pieces. Virgil opened his mouth to speak, but closed it. As Roman was expecting. But what he wasn't expecting was Virgil kissing him. And boy did it feel so relieving. Hes had a huge weight in his heart for so long and now he could let it go. Virgil pulled away, they both went into a laughing fit. In that monet, they both felt happy, like they both belonged in that moment. It felt like that moment was for them, and just them. As they settled down, they both hugged each other and smiled widely. Yep, this was going to be one big adventure....

------------------------------------------

Thanks for reading guys! Don't worry, there will be a part two. Be sure to check back on this post to see when it's posted!! Comment if you want to be in the tag list!

[leedrop-angel]

Tickletober day 12: unusual tools

This one will have a girl being a side, cause it would be the best for the story, and because my anxiety is high, I'm doing another Virgil one :3.

Virgil+Logan :3

~~~~~

"look I'm sorry Virgil, I didnt mean for that experiment to do that." Logan was apologizing big time to Virgil, who was hit by a experiment of his, and turned him into a full on girl, she having to switch clothes from it being to baggy, hight being shorter, hair down to her ankles, tied up thanks to Roman, where her bangs and shorter pieces of hair framed there face, and Virgil still kept that hoodie, even if he was swimming in it now.

"all I know is this better get fixed soon, and you owe me cuddles" he blushed at saying the last part. Logan sighed but just smiles, "fine, let's get this done so I can try to fix you" Logan said, going to his bed, with a girl Virgil.

Virgil seemed happier with this, and it seems some parts of his brain was even feminine. Logan layed down and virgils joins him, laying her head on his belly, legs wrapped around his, and lucky for Virgil, Logan's shirt was untucked enough for her hair to get under, and Everytime she moved, her hair did as well, and it wasn't untill she heard Logan giggles did she get a idea. "So now I can get payback I see." Virgil giggles Abit and gets ontop of Logan, lifting his shirt "n-now Virgil there no need for thISE" Logan was cut off with a sqweal as Virgil let her hair down, letting it rub on his belly as it fell, needing to move it from his face made Logan giggle more, every twitch on virgils new hair made Logan laugh, " oh what's wrong I need to get it out of my face logie bear, it's your fault I have it. Maybe you where just wanting me to have longer hair, just for this moment" Virgil teased, a smile on there face. " Nohohohope nohohot ahahahahat all" was all Logan's could say before another sqweal and Logan's belly was covered with virgils hair and Virgil was shaking his head just enough to make it torture.

"guys dinners d- Virgil when did you become a girl" Patton said, not yet seeing Virgil, but a smile on his face for the scean. Virgil sqweaked and brought his head up, hiding in her hair now. And Logan panted but smiled at the shy Virgil. Yep, girl brain.

" it was bade enough Roman seen me, now everyone except deceit and Remus has. It's not fair" Virgil sqweaks out, but Logan sat up and brushed the hair from there face, and kisses his nose. "It's fine v, now lets get Roman to put your tickly hair back up, and get food." Logan said, trying to make virgil smile, and it worked. Virgil gave a soft giggle at that " ok, and just so you know. It's weird hearing you say that"

"what tickly?"

Virgil giggles again, pushing Logan away, getting up. "Stohohp" and with that they left the room, Roman was not happy that his work was messed up, but redid it, even brushing it flat, even though it hurt virgil alot for those nots, he still got them out, and they all ate. Virgil definitely getting more girly long he was a she, and that was a oh boy for them and Thomas :3.

(bonus of what virgil looked like

Hair down

And hair up

And no her hands tiny but I can't draw hands :(

Just cause :3

[happyumbrellla]

Malec : Chapter 2

Chapter 2 : Announcement : 

Magnus had been brilliant at the trial. By calling Lydia to the bar, she had broken her direct connection with the Clave to express clearly her feelings on this matter. For a few moments, the warlock had won his trial, until the Inquisitor changed the rules. Magnus and Izzy chatted for a long time in the young woman’s chamber before Alec entered the room, a huge smile on his face :

        -Jace and Clary are back. They gave the cup to Lydia.

An immense joy invades Isabelle :

        -You are free !

        -You were right. They returned. You knew it.

The young woman took refuge in the arms of her brother :

        -Actually, I did’nt know.

Magnus smiles at the shadowhunter, happy for her that everything ends well :

        -Well, my job here is over.

The warlock took his suit jacket :

        -Walk me ould you, we have some business to settle.

Izzy looked up at his brother as Bane left the room :

        -What did he ask for payment ?

        -Euh… I… Euh…

        -Aleeeeec, insisted Isabelle.

        -Me.

The young woman opened her eyes wide :

        -Sorry ?

        -He asked me to be the payment.

        -You refused, I hope. Tell me you refused Alec.

The silence of brother brought him his answer :

        -You signed a contract with him ?

        -Yes.

        -But what havec you done ?

        -I di dit for you Izzy. To defend you.

        -But was it necessary to give your life for mine ?

        -I’ll do anything to protect you and I know you know.

Isabelle rubbed her neck :

        -Magnus may be willing to negotiate.

        -I already asked. But now that I have signe dot, it’s no longer negotiable.

        -Did you read it before signing it ?

        -I didn’t have the time. Every second played against you. I didn’t know if Jace and Clary were going to come back with the cup. I had to do whatever it took to save you.

The shadowhunter took refuge again in the arms of his brother and clung to him as if his life depended on it :

        -Magnus will not hurt you… Even if you did. But… Promose me to careful.

        -I’m a shadowhunter, Izzy, I know how to defend myself against a warlock.

        -Maybe, but we’re talking about Magnus. And you don’t react as usual when it commes to him.

She was right. Even thought he did everything to hide it, Alec had feelings for Magnus. And he had hurt seeing the pain of the warlock when he had annouced his marriage to Lydia. But what worried him most was the fact that he was going to have to learn to deal with his feelings for Magnus whan he was married to Lydia. Isabelle went away from her brother :

        -Go and join him before he counts the malus.

The elder of the Lightwood swallowed before leaving his sister behind him. The warlock was waiting for him in his own office. He contemplated the works Alec had exhibited in his library. The hunter closed the door behind him :

        -Can I read what I signed his morning ?

Without a glance at him, Bane snapped his fingers to make the contract appear. Alec seize dit, unfolded it and began to read it. He nearly chocked with his saliva from the first lines ;

« Alexander Gideon Lightwood hired Magnus Bane to be the defender of Isabelle Lightwood during her trial for hight treason to the Clave. The employee asks to be paid for his services. The asking price is : Alexander Gideon Lightwood.

 By this contrzct, the following points shall be respected by both parties :

-Under in her power to defend Isabelle Lightwood at best.

          -The marriage between Lydia Branwell and Alexander Gideon Lightwood is canceled.

          -Alexander Gideon Lightwood leaves his apartements at the New-York Shadowhunters Institute to move into Magnus Bane’s apartement. The elder Lightwood will remain a shadowhunter and will go to his worplace every day to return every night to the apartment of warlock Bane.

          -Alexander Gideon Lightwood is committed to meeting and satisfying all of Magnus Bane’s demands.

          -Alexander Gideon Lightwood is committed to avoiding physical and/or sexual contact with other people outside of Magnus Bane. The same goes for the second party.

          -Magnus Bane is committed to ensuring the safety and well-being of Alexander Gideon Lightwood. The latter undertakes to do the same.

 Signatures of both parties. »

 The shadowhunter looked up at the warlock. It was a joke, he couldn’t actually sign it ? HJe was totally shocked and his mind was already in strange delusions one in which he finished naked… Under Magnus. Alec shook his head and tried to regain his spirits :

        -I have questions.

        -I would have been surprised if I had not.

        -My marriage with Lydia is canceled ?

        -I have already sent the letters to the diffferent parties. With your signature of course. Everything is in order. This marriage will not take place.

        -But…

        -You have no choice. Everything is already settled.

Alec scowled. He was at the same time relieved not to have to spoil his life in this arranged wedding but he was anxious. How would her family react to this ? And Lydia ? And the Clave ? :

        -When you say that I must answer and satisfy the least of your requests… What do I have to understand ?

        -If I ask you to wear a necklace to which I can attach a leash, you will do it without protest.

        -Pardon ?, cried the shadowhunter.

        -Whatever I ask you, you will do it without any protest.

        -Are you asking me to become your submissive ?

        -In a way.

        -I refuse !

Magnus snapped his fingers and the contract was left to flutter before the eyes of the shadowhunter :

        -Shall I remind you that you have no choice ?

Alec grabbed the contract and tore it up :

        -And now ?

        -Now you realize that I am not stupid enough not to have made a copy of this contract.

The warlock snapped his fingers and the contract reappeared in his hands :

        -I can make as many copies as I want. So go and have fun ripping ir as much as you want.

Alec sank back into his chair :

        -By the Angel, inwaht have I embarked myself ?

        -Don’t be so depressed, I’ll take good care of you.

« That’s what worries me », thought the shadowhunter.

        -Tell me it’s a joke Magnus. Tell me you don’t want me to do that…

When Alec lifted his eyes, he shrugged. The warlock was now a few centimeters from him, his hands resting on the armrests, preventing any leak :

        -I want us to comply with this contract point by point. And we’ll start right away, I’ll leave you three hours to collect your stuff. When the time had passed, I would come to get you to settle in with me, he murmured.

        -His breath on his skin made the young man shudder with blue eyes :

        -You will not marry Lydia, you will come to live with me and you will be totally mine to eternity Alec. You signe dit yourself…

Alec swallowed, he should have thought before accepting to be the price to pay for the work of Magnus :

        -I know you have feelings for me Alexander. And you know I feel them too. So stop asking yourself questions and fully accept this contract that reflects only our common desires.

Had he thought about the consequences ? To the reaction of his friends ? From his family ? From the Clave ? Certainly not. The hunter frowned, clapped the contract on his chest while pushing him away and standing up from his seat :

        -And what do you think the others will say ?

        -I don’t care about the others. They can think what they want as long as you respect the contract. And then… You can hide behind you in case things get too pleasant to you.

He gave him a satisfied smile before disappearing in a beat of eyelashes, leaving Alec alone with himself. He remained for a long time petrified by the anguish on his chair before getting up feverishly to pull his bag from under his bed. He put it on his sheets and stared at him silently for a moment. The elder of the Lightwood family walked over to his wardrobe, took out some of the clothes he had and stuffed them into his bag. He also arranged the few personal belongings he possessed. Once he had finished, the shadowhunter began to fix the contract with a evil look, in the hope of making it disappear, but it didn’t work. He sighed again before rolling the contract and stuffing it into the black pocket of his jeans. He grabbed his cell phone and summoned his family and friends to one of the Institute’s meeting rooms. The young Lightwood trembled with anxiety as his heart drummed in his chest. What had he done ?

Alexander paced the meeting room waiting for the others to arrive. He was totally panicked. How would they react when they heard the news ? His mother was probably going to kill him… :

        -Alec ? Your message seemed urgent.

The elder Lightwood stopped circling to turn to his parabataï. Even if they had argued, Jace had to be informed of the situation. The latter had arrived with Clary :

        -I… We have to wait for everyone to talk about it.

The duo exchanged a glance before taking a seat. When Isabelle arrived, she embraced her brother very strongly before going to sit without a word. Then the door slammed on Maryse and, behind her, Robert :

        -What did you do with Alec ? Why did you cancel your marriage ?

Alexander opened his mouth to reply and explain the purpose of the meeting but his mother continued on her launch :

        -Our family needed this alliance ! You just humiliated us in the eyes of the Clave by making them believe in a great event and why this Alec ?

The shadowhunter took the contract our of his pocket and thrust it violently on the wood of the table :

        -To save Isabelle’s life since you have done nothing to help her !

Everyone glanced at the contract as Alec watched his colleagues work behind the bay windows. He was awfully embarrassed to have the contract read, but he had no choice. Then Maryse’s voice echoed again :

        -Do you realize what you did Alec ? You have just given your life and your body to this… Warlock…

Alec closed his eyelieds, yes, he realize it, but he had done it for Isabelle. And the result was there, Magnus had won his case. Briefly, of course, but he had won it. He therefore deserved his payment :

        -Everyone calms down, Jace shouted as the agitation took hols in the meeting room.

There was silence :

        -Alec ?

The named turned his head towards his parabatai :

        -Did you explain what happened to Magnus ?

Alexander took a chair and sat on it :

        -Izzy wanted him to be his lawyer. He agreed to do it in exchange for a prize… Me.

He swallowed as his mother shot him with his eyes :

        -I didn’t know if you were going to come back… With the cup or not. So… I did what I had to do to protect my sister. I accepted… Without having read…

Robert let his head swing forward sighing in despair :

        -How many times did I tell you to read before signing…

        -I didn’t have the time ! He wasn’t palying in our favor. Each lost second brought us closer to the trial and the sentence.

        -And look where we are ! This warlock will be able to do what he wants now that you have signed a contract that offers him your body, Maryse yelled. Was it really worth it ?

Alec’s blood had only one tirn. He glared at his mother before spitting :

        -Isabelle is my sister. Unlike you, I do what is necessary to protect my family.

Maryse caught her words with difficulty. She would reply but this time, Alec didn’t give her time :

        -If you will excuse me, I have about an hour to finish preparing my business before Magnus comes to fetch me.

The elder Lightwood turned aroung and walked to her room. He regretted not having read the contract before signing it but what was done was done. His sister was free and that was all that mattered. And then, it could be worse, he could be tied to a furious fool… In any case, he would pay the warlock and if he had to do… His things for him, with him. He would. He had only one word and he would hold it.

Magnus Bane appeared in his room as the shadowhunter finished taking his things in the bathroom :

        -Don’t you have anything else ?, the warlock worried.

        -I don’t have as much money as you.

Asmodee’s son grimaced :

        -We’ll have to fix it.

Alec didn’t pull up but closed his bag. The warlock snapped his fingers and opened a portal :

        -After you.

The elder Lightwood loaded his bag over his shoulder and looked once more at his room :

        -You’ll come back to Alexander.

His name rolled so well on the warlock’s tongue that a long shudder traveled the back of the shadowhunter. They crosses the gate to Magnus’s apartment. They were greeted by a meow :

        -But I don’t forget you my cabbage, said Magnus catching his cat and hugging him.

He scratched his head before looking at his guest :

        -You had never met him before. I present you Chairman Meow.

Alec watched the animal and the animal did the same :

        -Approach your hand, gently.

Magnus’s tone was soft and low, as if not to frighten either the cat or Alec. The latter obeyed and the animal snorted his hand before rubbing against it, purring :

        -He likes you.

        -You think ?

        -Yes.

The hunter caught himself scratching the head of the animal and appreciating it :

        -What are we doing now Magnus ?

The warlock placed Chairman Meow on the ground and the latter walked away to put himself in a ball on a silk cushion :

        -I need to aw a customer. So I’ll let you settle your things in the apartment. Then we go to dinner.

        -Can you show me my room… Please ?

The warlock motioned for him to follow him and he led him into his room :

        -But… It’s your room…

        -Our room Alexander.

The young Lightwood blushed violently. He was going to sleep with Magnus ? Every night ? In this large four-posted bed ? He swallowed :

        -Be wise in my absence.

The warlock slipped a spark og magic along Alec’s spine and the latter shuddered as he bent slightly. Things started off well…

Masterlist

© 2017 - Happy Umbrellla - All Rights Reserved. No reposting and/or modifying of any form on any media is allowed. No translations allowed.

[oppositeheartsstory]

Chapter 9: Heartbreak Comrades

Yelling could be heard from outside the naive. 

“Thaaaat’s not good”, Samuel said mildly worried.

Few seconds later, the door opens. David quickly closes the door behind him.

“I understand...”, he starts saying dramatically

“...that this is a pretty interesting situation but it’s chaos in there. Please sort this out later”, he continues as if nagging. One could tell he was worried as he moved his hands whilst speaking. Something he rarely ever did.

“What’s happening?”, Samuel asked casually.

“Well,” David started sarcastically as he clapped his hands.

“Your wonderful cousin, Charles, cheerfully started a betting and now your father is utterly upset as he doesn’t know where you two are”

“Mr. Evans? Upset?”, Niccolo said puzzled.

Of all the times Niccolo had met Samuel’s father, he’d never lost composure. He gave the impression he was a very patient man. 

“It happens”, Samuel said.

“Daniel, I think it’s best if you go”, Niccolo said dryly as he turned his face towards him. 

Silence fell in the room for a few seconds, tension took over the environment until Daniel stood up and without a word he left the room. 

An embracing sense of calm could be felt the second Daniel left the room although Niccolo’s face was as serious as it could possibly be. He was always so lovely to be around by his constant smiles that this face gave the impression a beast would be unleashed if somebody crossed him.

“Great”, David said in a hight tone as he felt utterly awkward. 

“Could we go back inside now?”, he continued.

“I need to have a word with Niccolo?”, Samuel said apologetically. 

“Couldn’t, it, wait until after the wedding?”, David said exasperatedly. 

“No.”, Samuel said simply.

“Why not?”

“Because this could call off the wedding”, Samuel said sadly. 

Niccolo’s expression changed abruptly. It went from anger to melancholy. The face of concern pronounced the colour of his eyes as Samuel and Niccolo stared into one another as he said this.

“Oh, dear”, David said.

The following weeks after that last chat-encounter unleashed a series of emotions for Niccolo: from anxiety to calmness, from remorse to liberation, from sadness to happiness. It was an exhausting roller-coaster of emotions. The worst part was the sense of shame. Niccolo felt like a monster.

“I need some distraction”, he said to himself after being tormented by his thoughts.

He started searching online for an event that would take his mind off of his overthinking. 

“Perfect!”, he said out loud as he found an event to watch the football match between England and Sweden on a Saturday afternoon of July. 

Niccolo was never a massive fan of football. As a matter of fact, he could not care less: When he spent time with his family watching a match, he would choose a random name and yell it constantly just for the sake of it. But things changed once he moved to England. He was suddenly a fan of the Three Lions but just because it was England-related. He still didn’t get football as proper fans did. 

July was summer in England and this one brought a strong heat with it. Niccolo put on his white England’s team t-shirt, light-brown shorts and he set off to Leicester Square where the event was happening. It was funny because the London gay parade was happening that day and he chose to attend a football match instead. He was not comfortable to be surrounded by people who vomited their inner rainbow colours by wearing either extravagant or revealing costumes, painting their faces with glitter or accessories that made it quite obvious they were not straight at all. But most importantly, he was terrified of drag queens. A characteristic that most gay men lacked of.  

Once outside the Leicester Square station, it was as if the world had turned gay: rainbow-coloured flags everywhere, people wearing them as well. It was quite lovely to be embraced by such environment, knowing that you could live in a city where you didn’t have to hide who you really were. 

Walking towards the pub where the event was happening, he felt how most people were so enthusiastically involved in the events happening there. Niccolo was walking around with his phone in his hand as he found the location, leading him to an alley where the main entrance of the pub was. 

He walked closely to the doorman and asks awkwardly: “Is this where the London Sports event is?” 

“Yes”, the man replies in a French accent.

Niccolo shows his ID and the sunny day is blacked out by a posh room, filled with crystal lamps. He walks up the stairs until he finds a room with people inside looking at a massive screen. 

This room was that of a proper pub but a fancy one. The sun light could be seen as the wall in the front was made of glass, leading to a balcony where more people were watching a different screen.

You could tell the people were English: most of them had an alcoholic glass in their hands. People were sitting and standing. It was a crowded room of 50 people. 

Niccolo stands in the back of the room, trying not to collide with anyone.

“Hi”, a man says standing next to him. He was holding a glass of beer in his right hand. One could tell he was posh: a silver black watch on his left hand, a Polo white shirt although his sport shoes were a bit worn out.

“Hi”, Niccolo says awkwardly. 

“Are you here for the meet up?”

“Yes. You?”   

“I’m David”, was his immediate response as he held his right hand waiting for a handshake. 

“Niccolo”, he said as he shook his hand.

The whistle blows and both men fell silent. They were watching the game standing side to side. 

This was the first time Niccolo was watching a sports game surrounded by a crowd. It was lovely how the yelling happened altogether whether it was out of pain or excitement for a missed goal.

England scores the first goal and people rage with excitement followed by chanting the “Three Lions” song from the 1966.

“IT’S COMING HOME, IT’S COMING HOME, IT’S COMING...”, people sang as they embraced one another.

Niccolo and David were singing as well but not embracing one another.

First half time ends and people start to scatter around. The room is filled with noise as everyone starts speaking.

“What’s your name again?”, David yells as he gets close to Niccolo so he can hear him.

“Niccolo”, he says as he gets close to David’s ear.

“That’s not from here, is it?”, he says in a peculiar accent: He had a resounding ��s”, one that sounded like a gentle whistle, giving away he was in fact, posh. 

“Nope. Italy”, Niccolo says simply.

“Yours is David, isn’t it?”

“It is. So tell me, what is an Italian man watching the game with an English shirt?”

“Well, first off, I’m Venezuelan. Then...” he corrected him.

“I love England”, he finished cheerfully.

“Lovely”, David replied casually.

“How long have you been living here?”, David asked.

“Almost two years. You? Are you from London?”

“I am. Been living here all my life. I studied in Cambridge, though. Then I moved back”.

“What did you study?”

“Electronic engineering”

“You must be brilliant, then”

David looked at Niccolo as if what he said was an overstatement. One that made it feel as if there was no reason to be admired. 

“What about you?”, David asked.

“I studied telecommunications and then did a masters in software last year”

“You must be brilliant, too”

Niccolo tilted his right hand as he said with a wrinkled expression on his face: “Not that much”

The chit-chat kept going until the second half time started with the blow of the whistle where everyone fell silent. 

It was an exciting moment being surrounded by people supporting the same team. 

When the final whistle was blown, everyone started cheering and chanting “It’s coming home” for around five minutes until the crowd scattered and everyone went their own way.

“Fancy going outside?”, David said 

“Sure.”, Niccolo replied

They both found a place to sit, looking above Leicester Square. 

“How come you love England so much?”

“Well, it’s a combination of many things: growing up in a place of economical and political chaos, being both, Venezuelan and Italian and neither at the same time...”

“But why England?”, David kept asking curiously.

“I guess because it made me feel like I fit in, for some reason”

“Well, that’s interesting”, David said apprehensively.

“What about you? Why are you here by yourself?”, Niccolo asked in an attempt to keep the conversation going. However, he started to regret it as soon as he finished the question. Perhaps it was a rather delicate question.

David takes a deep breath, exhales and sips some beer before saying:

“I’ve had a rough couple of months: me and my girlfriend of 7 years recently broke up and apparently I was no longer fun to be around with with the lads, considering I was always pissing them off with my moaning, ending with a beautiful argument when one of them tried to pass as my wingman and kept the girl to himself instead”.

Niccolo could sense the bitterness by how David said all this. There was sadness as well. 

“Maybe this is an opportunity to have a friend. Broken hearts tie strong laces when mending together”, he thought.

“That sounds awful”, he said sympathetically.

“It must be hard to finally go back to dating after 7 years and then be betrayed by one of your mates”, he finished.

“So this is what sympathy feels like”, David replied sarcastically.

Before Niccolo could say anything, David said apologetically: “I’m sorry. I’m sarcastic when I’m defensive” 

“That’s fine”, Niccolo said as if his previous words of sympathy had been an insult.

“What about you? Do you have a girlfriend?”.

“Ha, ha... No”, he said simply.

“I play for the other team”

David and Niccolo weren’t facing each other. They were sitting side by side looking front, with casual eye encounters every now and then until Niccolo’s last sentence, where David looked intently at Niccolo:

“You are gay?”, David said surprised.

“Yep”, Niccolo replied without looking at David.

This was the first time he’d come out so soon when meeting someone new. It could be told there was awkwardness between them as there was a long minute of silence before Niccolo made up his mind and decided to leave the place. He started getting up and said as he reached David’s hand for a handshake:

“Well, this has been lovely but I prefer leaving as I have made this afternoon awkward for you”.

David was surprised to hear this. He was neither a homophobe neither homo-friendly. 

“Erm, no. Please don’t go. I’m just surprised. That’s all”, he said quickly.

“I don’t have any gay friends so I don’t know how to behave”

“Well, I’m my defence...”, Niccolo started speaking in an as-a-matter-of-fact voice

“I’m not the stereotypical faggot, considering I chose a football match over the parade”

David giggled as he said this. He seemed more relaxed now that Niccolo went back to his seat.

“...and I’d be great as a wingman considering I would not steal your girl and gay men are girls’ second best friend”, Niccolo continued.

“Oh, and you wouldn’t have to do the same for me, though”, Niccolo said quickly, waving his hands in motion as if trying to set to the sides pieces of paper on an invisible desk. 

These words were like magic to David. Maybe this was a new beginning, one that he needed as everything was different. He wasn’t ready to be in a relationship again and he could definitely do with new friends.

“Perhaps having a gay friend will be helpful when dealing with heartbreak. Straight blokes hate dealing with that sort of thing, often suggesting strip clubs and being able to bang with any chick as a response to avoid the mellow conversation”, David thought.

 “If we get to the point where this friendship makes you uncomfortable because of all the gayness, you can let me know and I’ll walk away”, Niccolo said simply.

“Sure”, David replied smiling. He was overwhelmed by how intense Niccolo was. For some reason, he seemed far too eager to be his friend but since he was also alone, he got the feeling Niccolo didn’t have many friends.

“Shall we change the topic?”, Niccolo said naturally

“Fire up”, David said as he kept drinking his beer.

They talked for over three hours: David was constantly amused by Niccolo’s dramatisation of the stories he told. Niccolo was delighted to find someone with a similar taste of music. 

David and Niccolo were so distracted talking, they lost sense of time until they could see the day gently turning to night. Since it was almost summer, dusk was past 9pm but it was not until 10pm when Niccolo said:

“I guess it’s time to go now”

“Yes”, David said as if he had finished a therapy session: relieved. Niccolo could sense the discomfort of his sexuality was no longer there as he didn’t keep bringing it up. 

“Would you like to meet next Wednesday to see the match?”, David asked as they both left the building.

“Sure.”

They swapped numbers and set off different ways. Niccolo walked to the station and saw the remnants of the parade: it looked as if a gay bomb had exploded, every place was full of garbage. Everything was okay until he saw two men walking opposite him, holding hands. They were covered in glitter and rainbow-coloured flags, but what really set him off was looking at the grin on one of the men’s faces, glowing with happiness.

Niccolo sighed and whispered: “maybe one day”. The scene was not his cup of tea. It was not having a partner what saddened him, he didn’t know when he would be intimate with a man again or ever. He couldn’t keep feeling like the ugly duck. He made his best effort to be nice and kind for people to like him, having a fit body would lift his self-esteem up but apparently it was an insult as if saying “you are fat” with it. It was funny that he didn’t feel like crying as he usually did when he felt sad but since his message encounter with Daniel ended so badly, Niccolo felt emotionally drained for a while after that, it was like being dead.