#and the anxiety is making it hard to bring it up

[peachesofteal]

Through Me (The Flood) - secret baby fic Simon Riley / female reader

“And you have all your meds.”

“Yes, Simon.”

“And Cami knows she’s on standby?”

“Yes. Simon, we’re fine.” You pat his bicep but he doesn’t release the hold he has on your shoulders. He can’t bring himself to.

“Maybe I should have started leave earlier.” Uncertainity plagues him, kept him teetering from one side of a fence to another all week. He doesn’t want to go, never wants to, but now, it’s different. It’s worse.

“No. I’m seven months. There’s still two left to go and I’m in perfect health. Nothing is going to happen, okay?” You’re trying so hard to reassure him, but it doesn’t help. You reach up and cup his face, thumb smoothing over his freshly shaved cheek. “Hey.”

“‘m fine.”

“You’re not.” He huffs, leans and presses his forehead against yours. “I’m going to be fine, Si. You’ll be back before you know it and I’ll still be miserable and pregnant.” You sigh, and pull away to burrow yourself in his chest, his stomach. He wishes he could keep you there. “Now make your promise.”

“I promise to be home soon.” He kisses your forehead. He says it every time, and it hasn’t failed him yet. Your face, your voice, the curves of your body in his hands carry him home every time. “I love you mama.”

“I love you too.”

“Ye’re on somethin’ else LT.” Johnny claps his palm over the wound above his eyebrow, trying to stem the bleeding. Simon grunts.

“Need to make quick work of this.” Price shoots him a look, but Simon ignores him. “Got a pregnant wife at home.” They don’t need the reminder.

“Ah know, ah know.” He has been on something else, this entire op. Has been speed running through objectives, speed running through bodies.

“Besides. Holidays comin’ up. Don’t want to be out here when Cami is turning the house into Christmas village.” Gaz winces.

“We’re taking a break tonight to regroup.” Price gives them all a pointed look, and Simon nods.

“Course.”

He can’t sleep.

Every time he closes his eyes he sees you face down in a pool of blood, Orion nowhere to be found, or worse. Dead in his bed. The visions meld with memories, cold sweat breaking out down his back.

He checks his phone. Nothing.

Why haven’t you called? 

You always call to check in. If his phone is off, you leave a voicemail. If it’s on, he answers. It’s a balm to his anxiety, his worry that’s always lurking in the back of his mind.

He’s not supposed to make outgoing calls this round, and he knows that, logically understands it, but he can’t stop clicking the phone icon next to your contact.

It doesn’t ring. Straight to voicemail.

He clears his throat. “Hey honey, wanted to check in. Haven’t heard from you today. I hope you’re resting and little man isn’t givin’ you too much of a rough time. Call me, I love you.”

It does nothing to gentle the fear that’s roaring in his ears now. He won’t sleep. Not tonight.

So he lumbers down the stairs to the kitchen for a tea, stopping short when he hears Laswell’s voice crackling through the speaker, her usually calm cadence turned rushed.

The floorboards creak beneath his feet, and John turns, face grim and full of dread. “Hold on.” John murmurs, and Kate grinds to a stop.

“What’s goin’ on?” An unnatural apprehension settles in his gut. A sixth sense.

“Simon.” John says. Just his name, and he knows. He feels it. His knees go weak, and it’s a struggle to remain upright.

“Where is she?”

[damselflyvids]

@captaincaptainfisher and many others asked if there’s anything they can do without money, and the answer is absolutely yes! real change never happens because of donations, although money is certainly helpful at times. there are so, so many more ways to keep each other alive and lay the foundations for a better world. which ones you choose will depend on what skills you have or want to build.for example, I’m good with data so I’m coordinating the massive data entry and behind-the-scenes spreadsheets for a ballot referendum that, if passed, would divest a major American city from Israel.

you’re calm and collected? you could be a great abortion clinic escort or a legal observer at protests (in my state at least, becoming an LO requires no legal background, you just take one training and then you’re ready to document police brutality).

you ride a bike? protests always need corkers to keep people safe from traffic!

you’d drive a car? out of state abortion seekers need rides.

you’re a good cook? Food Not Bombs and other mutual aid groups would love to bring you a big load of groceries every week so you can make hot meals and distribute them to the homeless! or maybe you work at a bakery and can get them leftover bread.

you were good in high school chemistry, or you’re going through menopause? you can make or get estrogen

you’re a trans woman who already has safe access to estrogen? cool, you can pretty easily lie to doctors to get prescribed testosterone for your trans brothers.

@thefloralmenace and others will have many, many more ideas, these are just some of the things I see happening in my own communities.

here’s the key: to get started, you’re going to have to show up and talk to someone. I know that’s hard for some of us. I get it, I have social anxiety! but once you show up, you’ll realize it actually feels really good to be doing something. and the more you show up, the more you will grow your network and your skills, until one day things that were unthinkable feel easy.

I’ll end with a story to show how this can work. I used to work out in the woods, so I have more first aid training than the average bear. at the first protest after Dobbs, when I knew maybe two people in my big scary new city, I went up to a medic and asked how I could do what she was doing. two years later I’ve medicked more actions than I can count and built even more connections with people I respect and love (including an unbelievably hot and sweet girlfriend, lesbians take note). I am currently organizing a training to get new folks equipped with the same skills. and after one of the latest string of natural disasters, that medic collective decided to expand into going into the areas FEMA won’t (the hollers, the poor Black communities) with community mutual aid and medical supplies. so next month I’ll be learning how to use a chainsaw to clear downed trees to prepare for another support run to Western NC, where I’ll meet and learn from even more people.

that’s how much you can change your life, just by showing up once asking how to help. no donations required.

if you're feeling powerless right now—and god knows I am—here's a reminder you can donate to the National Network of Abortion Funds, the Trans Law Center, Gaza Soup Kitchen, the Palestine Children's Relief Fund, and hundreds of other charities that will work to mitigate the damage that has been and will continue to be inflicted

life continues. we still have the capacity to do good, important work. that matters

[heartfullofleeches]

thoughts

brie would go feral over virgin lust demon darling having like, a demonic form, preferably with big honkers

Yan "Delivery Boy" + Virgin Lust Demon Reader

[Very brief body horror]

-

"So.... A demon, huh?"

Friends tells friends everything. Their fears, their hopes, their secrets. That's how things play out in the movies, anyway. It's hard keeping up with people reaching out a branch of friendship when you seldomly have the stamina to keep up with them or even pick up their calls.

"Yeah! My mom was a demon and my dad's a regular old human.... Or- was it the other way around? I haven't talked to either of them in forever."

As skeptical as anyone would be in his position, Brie felt there had to be a pinch of veracity to your proclamation. Cuteness like yours wasn't a natural feat. His stomach was still raw with the flutters of anxiety retailing the night he showed up on your doorstep to be met with that clueless, charitable smile of yours.

"Oh, yeah?" Brie challenges with a small smirk. "Well if you're a demon, you should probably know what I do to your pizzas before I hand them over to you.

Brie's hands promptly fly over his mouth, every aspect of himself screaming at him for almost letting his own little secret slip through the cracks. Luck being on his side, you merely laugh off off his statement as you spring up from your place on the couch.

"You'd better not be stealing any of my toppings! I pay good money for every slice... Least I used to before all those vouchers you gave me... I can show you if you really don't believe me... I trust you, Brie."

Brie melts into the couch cushions, vulnerability and trust in your eyes welding him in place as you apprehensively fiddle with the sleeve of your shirt - awaiting his answer.

"O..okay." He stammers, tongue tied as the ceiling lights perfectly illuminate every one of your features that keeps him awake at night. "Sure, I guess... Show me."

"Great!" Kicking off your shoes, your limbs grow stagnant as your eyes roll back in their sockets - veins branching outward cross the whites of your scleras till they are reduced to a milky ruby hue. Your fingertips elongate, skin merging with the keratin of your nails as they sharpen into razor points.

Sickening cracks and pops can be heard as the bones of your spine snap to make room for more. Breaths piercing and ragged, your chest swells with each draw of air you pull in - testing the resilience of your formly loose fitting tee shirt as your bust ballons to your noticeable uptake in size.

Rolling your now forked tongue over flat teeth, your toothy grin still holds that realm of innocence as you gaze down at Brie.

"Well?"

Brie jumps as something heavy hits the floor - twin tails swishing back and forth in anticipation. Horror should have been the prominent force driving through him. Fear and terror is what he should have felt. Those were the emotions a coward would experience in this moment, and as a man who branded himself spineless for being unable to express his love to you in a normal and sane way perhaps he was braver than initially believed.

"titties...."

Cocking your head to one side, confusion takes the forefront of your expression. As your hair falls over your face, small, nubby horns can be seen at the bases of your temples.

"Did you say something, Brie?"

"H-huh?! Me?? Course not. You're probably just hearing the ceiling fan." He certainly didn't mention your chest- Nor was he seconds away from spilling into a feverish tangent about how desperately he wanted your massive breasts in his face, and preferably his mouth. That'd be crazy-

Brie peals out of his jacket as if it were on fire, balling and shoving it between his thighs as he laughs - shepherding his eyes anywhere but the dip in your shirt.

"Whew- Man, it's chilly in here! I should've worn longer pants! Hahaha-"

"I can bring you some blankets?"

"No thanks, I'm good! You're super cute by the way! Even more so in this form. Your tits- Fuck! Tails! R-really caught my eye."

[gem-de-lune]

Daily Vibe Check 11/11

Some of yall were saying that 1111 seems very special, and I agree after doing this read today!

Seunghan

Knight of Pentacles

Today it seems as though he is being very patient. Honestly this energy is very...different than usual. Leading me to believe he has been in direct contact with something that has solidified such a perspective. The Knight of Chalices tried to come out while I thought about this. I will revisit this later.

But generally, these are good vibes, and a sign of hard work and endurance. He is willing to wait for good results and feels good about how he is approaching the situation.

Sungchan

Ace of Wands

With the Ace of wands I believe he is very excited for something. This card came out quickly before I even asked him what's up lmao. Just by saying his name it flew out. This adds to that sentiment. I think there has been some news delivered to them because as you may notice while I go through the members, he energy has shifted slightly as they are a lot less "accepting passive waiting" and more so dreaming, excitement, satisfaction. This stands true for Sungchan. He is actively throwing himself into this news or new endeavor. Generally good vibes today.

Anton

Knave of Wands

This has a similar vibe to Sungchan, except he seems to be a bit weary over getting too excited. Still, this is very naiively active and exciteable energy. The Knave here symbolizes a lot of thrill to the situation. There may be fun sides as well, but Anton seems to have some anxiety, or maybe he is distrustful of the messemger sending the good news. Either way, the energy is still generally good. He is just anxious.

Eunseok

Knight of Chalices

Lol so here with the Knight of Chalices, I had mentioned earlier that this tried to come out during my pull for Seunghan as well. This, to me, indicates that Eunseok and Seunghan may be interacting closely today and on the same wavelength. It seems they are bringing something to the table for each other that is much needed; being supportive physically and emotionally.

Focusing on Eunseok, today is very good energy for him. He is feeling a lot more expressive and open and able to relax a lot more than he may normally. At the same time, he is very pointedly not alone in doing that. Both his and Seunghan's cards are also knights. I really do think they are in direct, prolonged contact.

Wonbin

5 of Swords

This was a little weird. It seems that Wonbin feels very thrilled about something himself, but is acknowledging that others may not feel the same and is concerned about this a little bit- more so annoyed than actually feeling bad. The vibe is like "lol get over it" but it's a clear bitter acknowledgment. This is the first time he has really been particularly bitter towards any party while I read for him. I pulled the 9 of Pentacles while thinking over this and confirming this was how he felt (which i did not keep and will discuss later) and then 6 of Wands (victory) when revisiting to finalize the take. He is feeling victorious and laughing at the people against him right now. Good vibes, lmao.

Shotaro

4 of Chalices

To me, it made sense why Shotaro went when he went in this order because it makes his card make a lot more sense. I think that everyone is desperate for the good news, for a resolution. I think that Shotaro is really not satisfied with this. I don't see this in a harsh way, but in a semi playful or maybe sarcastic way. Kind of like, "And why couldn't you do this before??" He is not acknowledging any effort being put in to relay whatever news was received. And/or he may not even be satisfied enough with the content altogether. Is he feeling not good? No. He is just annoyed.

Sohee

9 of Pentacles

So, going back to Wonbin- I also pulled this card when clarifying if he really felt that way before. Since Sohee got this card, I think they are sharing very similar feelings today. Sohee is very satisfied with something/some news received, and if feeling like he can finally sit down and breathe without going crazy. He feels as though things are falling into place.

Bottom of deck:

The World

Very very strong vibes here. The end of a cycle and the beginning of the new. The energy surrounding them all right now is seriously giving "flipping to the next chapter".

I also want to note the fact that I kept on seeing the Chariot (7) card every time I split the deck to bridge shuffle.....👀👀

Final Notes:

This "good news" i spoke of seems to be something that is a good omen. But to be very clear, this news was not something that was 100% the outcome, the verdict, nor what was to happen. In simple terms, it's like if you are writing a paper and turn it in to peer review and everyone tells you great news that it's looking really good. That doesn't mean your professor will find it very good, too. It just means that there are some active things working in your favor.

So here, it seems there are some things that SM has expressed to the members that have lifted their spirits. Some take this at face value with caution, and others are taking it as positovely as possible. But this is not the end all be all. It is just the beginning and a good sign.

Please continue to boycott as usual and support Seunghan.

[evervigilantnightshade]

The Line - Part Two

Reader and John have always straddled the line between playful flirting and taking things further. However when they are forced into a safe house and a secret comes out will they be able to save what they were heading for or is all lost.

Reader x John Price, Ghost, Soap, Gaz, Laswell, Original characters.

Warnings: Angst, violence towards reader, reader attacked by men, a pup gets hurt but don't worry he's ok. Blood

Authors note: This is a rough chapter. Lots of angst, hurt and sadness.

Part One Here

“I have six on the roof. I’ll take the West side and the one facing South, you take East and the one facing North.” Y/N said in the coms looking down at the warehouse. 

“Copy that.” Ghost replied. 

They both took out the lookouts quickly and quietly as the team reached the building. Soap headed in her direction as Price and Gaz headed in Ghost's direction. The goal was to put stoppers on all the doors, and put a target marker on the roof. Gaz was in charge of the marker while Price and Soap took on the exits. 

“Hold up. Soap you have two around the corner from you.” Y/N said into the coms 

She had the man in the back lined up in her scope when she felt a hand wrap around her ankle and yank her backwards causing her to cry out. 

“Belladonna ya good?” Soap asked into the coms. 

“Soap… not in position.” Was all she could say before she turned her body around bringing her other leg up and kicking her assailant in the face. 

“Ghost you’re solo” She grunted and then looked over and saw another man standing next to her with a gun. 

“What’s happening” Price barked

She reached down as the other man was distracted by his partner's groans of pain and pulled her knife out, throwing it so it hit him in the chest. 

“One second” She huffed as she stood up. 

The remaining man stood up straight, looking around for his gun and noticed it was about five feet away from him. He pulled a knife out from behind his back and then looked back at Y/N.  He lunged for her but she went down and kicked his left knee out before he could make contact and then stood up quickly getting behind him and wrapping her arm around his neck. 

“BELLADONNA REPORT IN NOW.” Price said harshly into the coms. 

“I said” She grunted as she tightened her grip on the man’s neck. “One second.” She then heard the crunch of his neck breaking and she dropped him. “Ok all clear.” 

“What the hell happened?” Price asked. 

“Patrol. They must have added one.” Y/N got on one knee and grabbed her gun to look over at Ghost’s position. “Ghost be silent. You got three coming up the hill towards you. I’ve got them in my scope.” 

She lined up her shots and took them out back to front. Then quickly moved her scope to Soap who was standing over two dead men. 

“Clear. “I’ve gotta move. I have two DBs at my spot.” 

“You broken?” Price asked, worry lacing his voice. 

She looked herself over and saw the man’s knife sticking out of her leg. She yanked it out and pulled the bandana that was around her neck, quickly wrapping it over the wound. 

“I’m fine.” She grunted as she pulled the bandana tight. 

She cursed the men on the ground and then looked around for a good vantage point. She saw one about 50 feet away and quickly moved. Laying down she put Soap in her scope again. 

“Alright, let's get this over with.” 

“I’ve got a car approaching.” Ghost said gruffly and all three men on the ground crouched down. “Looks like the man of the hour.” 

“In position” Price replied 

They watched as Bako got out of the car. The way he was positioned Y/N couldn’t confirm it was actually him.  

“A'body git eyes on his face?” Soap asked a Y/N huffed in annoyance. 

“Not on my end. Ghost and Price he’s closer to you, do you have eyes on?” 

“Working on it.” Price said quietly. 

Bako was about to walk into the building and Y/N felt anxiety taking over her body. If they couldn’t confirm it was him the whole mission was a bust. She bit her lip so hard it almost bled. What felt like an eternity later they finally heard Price’s voice in the coms. 

“Confirmed. Bako has entered the building.” 

The team signed with relief in unison. 

“Alright Gaz get your arse up to the roof so we can get out of here.” Price instructed and he pressed a large stopper on the door Bako had just entered through. 

Y/N watched as Gaz used his grappling hook and climbed onto the building. Once the marker was in place and the doors were secured the three of them went back to the boat and when they were far enough away Price called it in. Y/N stood up with her gun against her chest and watched as the missile came out of what seemed like nowhere and lit up the entire warehouse. 

“Target eliminated” Ghost confirmed 

A small celebration erupted from the coms and Y/N smiled. Finally a win. She glanced down at her leg in the light of the fire in front of her and then scrunched her face as she could see blood seeping down from under the bandana. 

“Alright, Ghost and Bells meet up with the rest of us at the extraction point. Coms off unless it's an emergency. Good job team.” Price instructed 

Y/N turned and started limping her way down the hill to meet Ghost, her adrenalin now subsiding. She had taken a lot longer than what was expected so she wasn’t surprised to see him making his way over to her and she could tell he was pissed. 

“Liar” He hissed and she shook her head. 

“I didn’t lie, I am fine. Just bleeding a little.” 

“Stubborn woman.” He scolded and motioned for her to sit down on a rock next to the road. 

“Just stitch me up and we won’t say anything about this to the others.” 

He took off the bandana and ripped her pants so he could see the wound. He pressed the skin beside it harder than he had too causing Y/N to jolt forward in pain. 

“Sadist.” She hissed 

“Alright, you don’t need a hospital, I can handle this.” He said and pulled off his pack

“I told you.” Y/N said, rolling her eyes. 

“Ya also said weren’t hurt so excuse me for not believing you.” 

He started cleaning the wound and Y/N’s fists clenched at her sides.

“So, you want to tell me what’s going on with you and Price?” He asked when he had to press down on the actual wound. 

“Right now? You want to do this now?” Y/N said holding herself back from swatting Ghost’s hands away. 

“Yeah why not. Now's as good a time as any. No one else is around and we can be candid.” He said and then pushed the needle through her skin. 

She hissed and he reached up and grabbed her neck and pulled her forward so their foreheads were touching. 

“Man up.” He whispered and she nodded. 

He let go of her neck and she now had a determined look on her face. He pulled the thread through and then pushed the needle in again. This time she remained silent. 

“So Price. Never seen you do feelings. What changed?” 

“The stakeout.” Was all Y/N said and Ghost nodded. 

��Figured.” 

Her and Price were on a stake out together in a seedy hotel in a seedy part of town. It was a place where you don’t go anywhere alone and don’t make eye contact with the other hotel guests. The beds were gross and the room smelled like cigarette smoke and regret but it had one redeeming quality. It overlooked a bar that Bako’s right hand man liked to frequent. 

Y/N watched through the binoculars at the entrance of the bar, the patrons filtering in and out. They had been here for three days already and hadn’t had any luck. She sighed and reached over for her cold, almost empty cup of coffee. She took a sip and then shook her head with a look of disgust on her face as she placed the coffee cup down again. She yawned and stretched her arms up above her head.

“Here let me take over for a bit and you get some kip.” John said from behind her and she nodded in agreement.

She stood up and rubbed her right hip that was now sore due to sitting in a very uncomfortable kitchen chair for the last few hours. She looked over at the table and grabbed a pack of cigarettes, then frowning upon realising they were empty. She looked all over the kitchen while Price situated himself in the offending chair.

“Hey, are there any smokes left?” She asked, stifling another yawn.

“How should I know, I’ve been smoking my cigars, the smokes are all yours.”

She frowned and rubbed her temples.

“I thought there was at least one pack left but I guess not. I’m going to have to run over to the store.”

“Not on your own you aren’t.” John said sternly and she sighed.

“Price, it's literally next door and you have to watch the bar. I’ll be fine. I have my knife,” she lifted up her pant leg to reveal her hunting knife tucked into her boot “and it’s the middle of the day. Nothing is going to happen. I’ll be quick. 5 minutes tops.”

She wasn’t waiting for an answer and already had one foot out the door, before he could argue it any further she closed the door and made her way to the elevator.

When she stepped out into the fresh air of the street she stopped to take a big breath in. It has been three days since she had left the hotel room and the sun on her skin felt good. Remembering where she was though she opened her eyes quickly and put her head down, heading next door. 

There was an alley separating the hotel and the convenient store next door. She was just crossing in front of the alley when she heard a dog yelp and then two men laugh.  She then heard the dog yelp again and even though she knew it was a bad idea she turned and walked towards the sounds. 

What she saw broke her heart. In front of her was an extremely small dog cowering against the wall as two men threw beer bottles at it. 

“Hey fuckfaces, what the hell do you think you are doing?” She yelled as she approached. 

“Just having a little fun here. What's it to you?” One of the men said as the other threw another beer bottle. 

Y/N rushed forward and situated herself between the men and the pup. She glanced back at it and could tell it was injured. Tears started to form in her eyes. 

“I highly suggest that you leave now.” She said through gritted teeth. 

“Yeah? And what are you going to do if we don’t?” The second man said as he started to advance on her. 

She started to bend down to grab her knife when a beer bottle hit her in the top of the head disorienting her. Suddenly one of them was on top of her. He tackled her to the ground and punched her in the face a few times causing her head to smack against the pavement. 

“Hey don’t hit her too hard or you’ll knock her out. Then she’ll be no fun.” The other one said and the guy on top of her stopped hitting her. 

Instead he grabbed her leg and started dragging her further into the alley. Her head was spinning and she desperately grabbed the air around her for something to defend herself with. Her hand landed on a glass beer bottle and she gripped it tight. When they stopped moving, she sat up quickly and hit the man on the head, breaking the bottle and then plunged it into his chest. He stumbled backwards while looking down at his chest in surprise, eventually falling against a dumpster. 

“You bitch.” The other man said and then ran over to her, kicking her in the ribs a few times before getting on top of her and wrapping his hands around her neck.  

She tried to fight him off but her head was swimming and she didn’t have the strength. For a moment she thought that this was going to be her end. Not in battle like she thought, but in some seedy alley by some unknown man. 

The darkness started taking over her vision when suddenly the hands wrapped around her neck let go. She gasped in the air she desperately needed and then looked to see the pup biting the man's leg as he tried to push it off. Seeing her chance she reached down and pulled out her knife and with everything she could muster she stabbed it into the man's neck and then pulled the knife forward. Blood poured all over her face and chest and then he collapsed on top of her. 

She quickly pushed him off and laid there catching her breath. She felt the pup come up and lay his head in the crook of her arm and she let out a sob. 

“Good pup.” 

She went in and out of consciousness, losing track of time. She was starting to go out again when the pup suddenly sat up and started growling. She then heard John’s voice calling her name. 

“Price.” She tried to call out but her voice wouldn’t cooperate. 

As he got closer the pup started barking and Price walked over having heard. As soon as he saw Y/N he ran over to her in shock. Y/N patted the pup to let him know it was ok.

“Jesus Christ. Y/N, Y/N can you hear me.” 

She nodded yes.

Instantly he got on the phone. 

“Watcher, we need an immediate medical evac.” 

“How bad?” Kate asked and he shook his head. 

“I don’t know. It looks bad but I can’t…” He had to stop and take a breath to calm the panic that was filling his mind. “I can’t tell what’s hers and what isn’t. We’ll need a clean up crew too.” 

“Evac is at least 10 minutes out.” She replied and he swore. 

“Tell them to make it faster.” 

He hung up the phone and then started inspecting Y/N’s wounds. He couldn’t distinguish anything due to all the blood and instead just started running his fingers through her hair while whispering words of encouragement.

“John.” She rasped. “When they come. Bring the dog.” 

“The dog?” John asked, looking at the small street dog beside him. 

“Pup saved me. Is family now. Hurt too.”

 John saw that the pup had some injuries and gently reached over and ran his finger over the pup's head. 

“Good job bud.” He said

When the team arrived Ghost was with them and they loaded Y/N into the van. John grabbed the pup and then got in behind them. 

“What’s with the dog?” he asked but John didn’t answer. 

When they got to base John watched as they wheeled Y/N straight into the med bay, not letting him follow. He stood there for a minute and then turned and headed to the on base vet. 

“Do whatever you have to do.” John instructed them and they took the pup to the back. 

About 20 minutes later the vet came out to speak to John. 

“Alright you got a tough little guy in there. He’s got a cut that needs to be stitched and he’s going to lose his right eye but overall I think he’s going to be ok.” 

John sighed with relief. He couldn’t do anything for Y/N right now but he could do this. 

“What about shots and stuff? What does he need?” Price asked

“Well considering he’s a street dog I would assume he’ll need the whole gambit.” 

“Do it.” 

“He also needs a name.” The vet said and John thought for a moment. 

“Call him Odin.” Remembering Y/N's fondness for Norse Mythology

“Alright you gave us your number, so we’ll call you in a few days when he can be picked up and go home with you.

He headed back over to the med bay and saw Laswell talking to the doctor. Ghost sitting in a chair next to them. He immediately went over to them.

“How is she?” He interrupted them 

The doctor looked over at Laswell who nodded. 

“Well she has two broken ribs, a broken nose, a split lip that needed stitching. We had originally thought her right orbital bone was broken but it’s not; however we will have to wait to see if there is lasting damage to the eye. Our biggest concern is the injuries she sustained to her head. She needed multiple stitches in the back of her head and she is currently getting an MRI to see what’s going on.” 

Price nodded, unable to speak due to the lump in his throat. 

“Thanks doc, keep us updated.” Kate said and the doctor nodded heading back into the ward. 

Ghost stood up and stood in front of John, his body tense. 

“What the hell happened?” He asked, his voice strained. 

“I don’t know, she insisted on going to the store next door by herself.” 

“And you let her?” Ghost asked gruffly

Instead of answering John walked over and let out a scream and kicked the chair Ghost had been sitting on down the hallway.  He walked away without saying another word. 

Y/N was out for five days. On the evening of the fifth day she slowly opened her eyes to see Ghost on one side of her and John on the other. 

“Boys…” She began but started coughing.

John immediately got up and grabbed a cup of water, letting her take slow small sips. 

She glanced over at Ghost and kept staring at him for a minute before smiling and reaching out, squeezing his hand. He slowly nodded at her and then got up and left the room.  

She then turned to John. 

“ Am I broken?” She asked 

“You are. Nothing that can’t heal though. I want to be mad at you, but I’m more mad at myself. I shouldn’t have let you go alone. I should have insisted I went with you. I’m sorry.” 

‘John, this one's on me not you. I should be the one apologising.”

She reached over and grabbed his hand. All he wanted to do is crawl into the hospital bed and scoop her up into his arms, protecting her from anything and everything. Instead he settled on kissing the back of her hand.  

“How’s the pup?” She asked. 

“He’s fine, lost an eye though.” 

“Well we can match for a bit” Y/N reached up and touched the patch on her eye.

“I got him all his shots and everything. He’s on meds so the team has been taking care of him. Snuck him into the barracks. I got him a collar, a harness and a leash as well as some toys, a bed and a food and water dish. I stayed up at night with him his first night after the vet because he wasn’t used to having a home but he’s warmed up to us.” 

Y/N couldn’t help but smile at him as she listened to him talk. 

“That was it, that was the moment” Y/N explained to Ghost. 

He tied the last stitch and then placed a bandage on her leg. He then handed her some tablets which she swallowed dry.

“Well, I’m pretty sure he was forced to accept that he had fallen for you too that day. Thought he was going to lose you and it scared the shit out of him.” 

He reached out his hand to help Y/N stand up.

“If this shifts Si, if this thing between me and Price gets serious I’m going to want to tell him.” 

Ghost looked out into the distance and then sighed. 

“I figured as much. I know you feel bad for keeping this from the team, but I just don’t know if I’m ready for everyone to know.” 

“Well it wouldn’t be everyone, we could just tell John.” 

“I know, let me think about it, yeah?” 

Y/N nodded and then motioned for them to get moving. They walked in silence and Y/N felt a tightness in her chest. Hopefully Simon would agree to let her tell John everything. The only question was, would he understand.

[monayen]

Hello! 👋 I love your Luther fics, you write him so well 💖 I have a bit of an odd request for him if you don't mind.

Could you do headcanons of Luther with a S/O who is aroused by his inhuman nature please? Like they're turned on by the fact that he is a cryptid and could potentially be dangerous if he wanted to. Maybe size kink stuff could also factor in? Anyways I hope you have a wonderful day/night!

➷ Paring - Luther Von Ivory x Fem!Reader [Randal's Friends / Ranfren]

➷ CWs - slight biting, size kink

a/n - this is an incredibly old ask, i am SO sorry i took forever on this,, im trying my best to do the older asks so if you’ve been waiting pleasedontkillme. anyhoot I LOVE LUTHER!!!!

Luther interests you immediately when you first lay your eyes on him

His big, wide eyes almost look small on his long face. Thin lips drawn into a line as he stares back at you. His brown pageboy haircut sways a bit in the light breeze, and you realize that you’re eyeing a stranger at the park

He notices immediately, walking up to you and making you realize how tall he is. At least 6’1, but you’re sure if he wasn’t hunching ever so slightly, he’d seem bigger

“You’re staring, you must like my new scarf.” He says, his voice smooth. It’s not as deep as you expected, almost monotone

He gestures to his dark green wooly scarf wrapped around his neck, noting the several rings adorning his long fingers. You also notice that the scarf is the only warming item of clothing on his body. Which is weird, considering its late fall in Canada

You nod, trying to break his gaze to not let nervousness overcome you. He’s interesting, and you think maybe he likes you with the round blush below his big, unblinking eyes. Swallowing any anxiety you’re sure he can sense, you hold out your trembling hand

“Would you like to get dinner?”

Time passes, and you realize very quickly just how special Luther really is

His house looms, halls leading into rooms and rooms that seem impossible to keep track of. He introduces you to his younger brother, Randal, who bombards you with questions you can barely register before Luther scolds him for overwhelming you

Very quickly, you say it’s alright– you’re just trying to think of a proper response. You’ll get back to him on who your favorite Joker is, it’s been a while since you’ve seen the movies

Your response to his brother seems to please Luther, liking how you don’t blow him off or get weirded out by his… big personality. His brother does mean a lot to Luther!

Then it’s his catmen, two almost twin like men with cat ears and drawn whiskers. You watch as they follow him, listening to him when he asks them to bring you a cup of water after you mention you’re thirsty

He’s the man of the house, he says. Responsible for all his family. It can be hard, he continues, but he tries his best. He’s only human after all ♡

Human, you think, totally

When Luther talks, you pay attention to the sharpness of his teeth. Mouth large as he bites into a sandwich, and you can only imagine him biting into your shoulder with those jagged teeth, long arms wrapped around you as he pulls you onto his lap—

You fantasize about being completely dwarfed and overpowered by him. The idea of being helpless and at the mercy of his inhuman strength is something that makes you shiver 

You also love the way Luther casually invades your personal space, always standing too close, his presence overwhelming your senses. His proximity makes your heart race, aching to feel his large, cold hands on you 

“What are you thinking, schatz?” He says, and maybe he didn’t mean to slightly open his second set of eyes, but he does… and you notice

Perhaps you should question it, but you’re sure it would be rude to bring it up to Luther. He’s not typical, nothing around him is as human as he thinks it is. For as long as he tells you he’s been around, you’d think he’d have it down by now

But it's okay, you think he’s cute the way he is :)

[1toreyouapart]

What It Cost

****THIS IS A FICTIONAL STORY BASED ON REAL PEOPLE. 18+ ONLY. I DO NOT OWN THE RIGHTS TO THE PEOPLE OR MUSIC MENTIONED IN THIS STORY OUTSIDE OF LILITH AND SADIE AND MAYBE A COUPLE OTHERS. DO NOT READ IF YOU’RE NOT UP FOR FANFIC INVOLVING REAL PEOPLE***

Terrible summary: Five years since she last spoke to him. Since she last saw him. Now his face and his voice is everywhere. She can't escape him.

Five years ago Noah destroyed her and the life they had built. Now he’s back and seeking to make amends. As much as she wants to say that it's too little too late, is it?

CW/TW: Angst, mention of addiction, cheating. Mention of character death. Language. Smut (later on). PinV, unprotected PinV (wrap it before you tap it, friends), oral (f&m receiving). All smutty warnings happen later on, so I’ll update TW/CW warning labels as those parts are written and posted. If I forget anything, please let me know so I can fix it! Thank you!

Part 5 - Noah

Noah laid there in his bed, the only light coming from the screen of his phone. The only sound in the room the old videos he kept watching. It was all that kept him going when sobriety got to be a little too difficult. And right now, it was hard as fuck. Until the other night nobody outside of his therapist had known just how much he despised himself for the shit he had put Lilith through in the end. And now he had gone and blurted it out like a fucking idiot. Such a fucking idiot. So, rather than relapse he was going to watch these old videos as many times as it took until the anxiety passed.

Listening to her laughter, seeing the way her eyes crinkled just a bit at the corners when she smiled, in and of itself was its own form of mental torture, but God, did it help keep the urge to drink away. A reminder of what life was like before the one or two drinks every so often turned into three or four most nights of the week. Then getting blackout drunk most nights of the week. Soon it was steady drinking from the moment he woke up until he passed out later that night. Rinse and repeat.

"Noah, I swear to all that is unholy. If you don't stop recording me right now I'm cutting your hair in your sleep!"

Noah chuckled to himself as Lilly in the video stopped doing her hair to run from him, laughing uncontrollably at his feeble attempt to stop her without dropping his phone. He had been obsessed with recording every moment with her when he wasn't on tour. Some excuse of watching them when he missed her, which he did do, but honestly it was because he just couldn't get enough of her. Even when they bickered he hated not being near her, always finding a reason just be around her while she tried to ignore his presence. Which she inevitably failed at, every time. Because as much as she refused to admit it at first, she needed to be near him just as much as he did her. Once upon a time, anyway.

Heaving a weary sigh he scrolled to the next video, immediately being greeted by her and Danny dressing up a skeleton Halloween decoration. Noah outright laughed as he watched the two of them dressing the skeleton up, neither understanding the directions the other was giving. It was their first Halloween in this house, and Lilly had insisted on going all out for the kids in the neighborhood. She'd had the bright idea of dressing skeletons up as Bring Me The Horizon members to put in the yard as a skeleton band.

Just then Matt walked in, flipping the light on, blinding him.

"Jesus Christ, Matt!" He yelled, covering his eyes. "The fuck do you want?"

"You've been hiding in here too long. Get your ass up and meet me downstairs in five."

"Fuck off."

"See you in five."

Matt left, leaving the door wide open. Fucking asshole. He loved Matt, he did, but he was a fucking asshole sometimes. Couldn't he just be left to rot in fucking peace?

"Fucking asshole," he grumbled, rolling out of bed. If he didn't get down there Matt would be back, likely with a bucket of water to dump on him or something stupid like that.

Noah caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror as he walked past it, and outwardly cringed. He looked like shit. Hair stuck up in every which way, four days worth of stubble on his face. Well, what little bit he could grow, anyway. He reached for the hoodie he'd flung on the back of his chair, pulling it over his head as he stomped out his bedroom door and to the stairs. This better be good.

***

"If you really want to make amends, hiding after having a panic attack in her kitchen isn't the way to do it."

Matt's words swam around in his head, circling over and over again. He was still an asshole, but he meant well. Of course, he was right. But how would he even go about making amends? Would she even be open to allowing him to? The way she had looked at him that night, he wasn't so sure. However, she had done everything she could in that moment to help him. Shit, it had worked better than anything anyone else did after he got home.

Carefully he leaned forward, inspecting his now shaven face. Couldn't miss any spots or it would drive him nuts. He had always been that way, but since getting sober he was more meticulous about it. Everything had to be just so or he couldn't function properly until it was fixed. Satisfied he had gotten everything he stood back up, pulling a plain white shirt over his head.

First order of business was to get cleaned up. Second was to at least attempt to get a hold of her. If she didn't answer he would just show up. Well, maybe not unannounced. That hadn't exactly gone well last time. A repeat sounded like an absolutely terrible idea if he was honest. One panic attack she might forgive, but a second one? Hardly. He was surprised she even answered her phone the last time.

Speaking of, he picked his phone up off the counter, freezing over her name. Was this a call or text situation? Maybe he should have asked one of the guys first. Jolly would probably be the one to know. He knew her best these days. Unfortunately, Jolly was out with Sadie.

Fuck it. He would text her, and if she didn't get back to him after a while then he would call. For all he knew she was at work, anyway. Heart pounding in his chest he hit the button to text her, freezing at the last message he had received from her. The night he had fucked everything up beyond repair.

"Where are you? Noah, you're worrying me."

Tags: @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard

[krazy-ky-sta-hatter]

...One day I am going to snap and blow a fuse.

I'm trying to get over my anxiety, and every time I think I might be okay to venture out into the rest of the house again, my flatmate brings people around without telling me again, and I'm back to square one.

[dr-hanwool]

Hearing that not all of the money Hanwool was giving Rain would go to the escort had the other tutting lightly, under his breath. He understood that the club had to make money, but didn't they pay enough already for the bookings and the booze? Hanwool just wanted all of his money to go directly to Rain, wanting to help him in his situation. He knew it was a bit of a long-shot - paying for love was superficial. It didn't pay for the deeper affection that Hanwool so desperately craved - but he wanted Rain to know that should he ever leave the club, Hanwool would be able to provide for him. Still, regardless of his money being split between Rain and the club, it was worth it to feel his heart. To touch the untouchable escort.

Rain's heart was beating so hard, so fast, so much more than the resting rate, the longer Hanwool held his hand against the other's chest. It betrayed his emotions, and while the doctor couldn't pinpoint exactly how the other was feeling, he knew there was only a small crop this kind of heartbeat could come from; fear, nervousness, anger, anxiety, anticipation, excitement, affection. Hanwool wondered which of them Rain was feeling right now, immediately dismissing affection from his mind. Rain's face was as level as ever, staring right back at him, and other than when he flirted a little the escort never showed affection towards Hanwool. The doctor was worried about Rain was scared, perhaps masking his true feelings behind a façade of indifference, but when he asked him Rain said he wasn't. His heart told a different story - but which story? Hanwool wanted to know.

When Hanwool apologised for his weird questions, he noticed Rain's eyes widen, seemingly surprise. The escort nodded, but Hanwool wasn't offended. He knew, more than anyone, that his line of questioning wasn't typical. His humour was darker than most due to a combination of the depression nature of his job and his life experiences.

"Yes, Khun... I think it's part of you. It can't be helped."

Hanwool smiled at that, his usually stern eyes softening slightly, especially when Rain covered his hand with his own. The contact was innocent, but electrifying. Hanwool was used to that hand smacking his own away, so to have it instead touching him so normally... well, what was it if not progress?

"Weird or not, you paid to feel my heartbeat. So, knock yourself out."

"You're too kind," Hanwool teased, his hand firmly against Rain's chest, his head leaning even closer to the other's face. Like this, it was as though Rain's heart was pulsating directly into him - a connection of some sorts, one that wasn't exactly the relationship Hanwool was hoping for, but one that was symbolic to him. Even though his eyes were trained onto Rain, it didn't escape how the escorts walking around in his peripheral had to double-take, as if in disbelief that Rain was allowing this to happen. Hanwool didn't care if the money was talking on his behalf - there was no denying that he was now different from the other clients. Special.

"You know feeling your heart beat isn't all I want," Hanwool said casually, truthfully. Nothing he hadn't said before. Rain wasn't a backroom worker, nor did he ever accept backroom offers, so it was moot to bring it up in detail, so Hanwool didn't dwell. "But thank you, for giving me this. It's enough for me." For now, went unsaid, as Hanwool finally pulled away. His hand was still warm, from where it had been pressing against Rain's chest. "Pour me another drink? Any other one."

As Hanwool waited, he cocked his head to the side in contemplation. "I told you that the heart tells me a lot about a person. Usually, I'm, very good understanding its music. But you, Rain... I can't seem to figure yours out." Hanwool smiled, as if love-struck. "Other than the fact that it was beautiful, of course. Like the rest of you."

Hanwool barely flinched at the unexpected answer to his question. He hadn't thought that Rain would ever allow him to be so close, to touch him this way - but to the doctor's surprise, the escort had agreed, setting a price of 7000 baht to feel his chest. The only thing Hanwool could think of was that whatever the price was, it was worth it.

Rain hadn't moved from his spot, and Hanwool's hand was still curled around his back. Slowly, he dragged it down, fingers running along the lined folds of his tank top before he withdrew them into his coat for his wallet. He watched as the other drank from the dark rum again, slowly so as not to choke on it like last time, waiting.

"You're very weird, Khun. Would you pay to touch every part of my body if I allow you?"

"As if you don't know the answer to that already," Hanwool flirted, smiling at the other while taking out his wallet. Each time he had booked for Rain, it had been online or at the counter, the payment swiped into the system. When they sat in the booths, anything extra he spent money on - food, drinks, whatever - he'd pay it on the way out, on his tab. But this was a little bit different, doing it upfront. It felt more personal.

Hanwool just hoped that Rain didn't think he was judging him, for accepting his money. Because he wasn't. The doctor had made up his mind a long time ago that he was going to spend his money on Rain. Besides, this was Rain's job. He was providing a service that not everybody was capable of doing, because of their own prejudices. If Hanwool sat here judging Rain for selling parts of his body to him as an escort, then he'd need to also do the same for himself for being the person paying in the first place. There was honour in all work - though, Hanwool would love for Rain to leave this place one day. Just so that nobody else could ever get a chance to touch him like how he was going.

"This goes right to you, yes?" Hanwool asked as he deftly counted out the notes in his wallet to get the required amount. He didn't know how much money the escorts made from their booking fee, but he supposed it wasn't that great. Rain was asking for a large amount, which Hanwool didn't mind in the slightest - it just was telling about how little he must receive in general. That angered the doctor. Rain was worth double his weight in gold, in his eyes.

Hanwool slid the money over discreetly, wanting Rain to have it in his hands before he touched him, just so that the other knew he was serious and would not go back on his word. He pocketed his wallet when he was done and inched closer to the escort, his head tilted so he could get a good look at Rain's face. His hand was practically twitching on the table to finally touch the man beside him.

Hanwool didn't give Rain warning, but his movements were slow enough so that the escort could see when his hand was about to approach. Gently, with a practised touch, Hanwool laid his palm atop Rain's chest, on the left side of his sternum. The fabric of his shirt was thin, but Hanwool thought it wouldn't matter if the other was wearing layers because Rain's heart was beating hard. Maybe he was nervous because he was trying something new by allowing a client to touch him. If Hanwool was truly delusional, he'd think that Rain was just as excited as he was - but the former reason sounded more plausible.

Thump-Thump-Thump.

Pressing his hand into Rain's chest, Hanwool closed his eyes and allowed himself to feel. The beat was steady, even if it was faster than the resting rate, thumping away against his palm. He hadn't lied to Rain when he said it was like music - it was. A drum, a metronome, a bass guitar - that's how a heart that was alive sounded like. The music of a person's being. Hanwool's colleagues would laugh at him, if they ever found out that the doctor favoured a more artistic and poetic representation of the heart than a scientific, clinical one - but he didn't care, because it was the truth for him.

There were also no words to describe how relaxed Hanwool was, in this moment. He was quiet normally, but even moreso now as he focussed on the beat.

"Are you scared?" Hanwool finally asked Rain softly, noticing the quickened pace of the escort's heartbeat. He opened his eyes and stared deep into Rain's own. "I'm not here to hurt you. I meant when I said I just wanted to feel. You have a beautiful heartbeat." A smile stretched across the man's features. "I'm being weird again, right? Sorry." Rain tended to have that effect on him - make him lose all his brain cells. Hanwool was intelligent, but had a one-track mind when it came to the escort. He'd say he's not usually like this, but Rain wouldn't know that. They only ever met at The Playroom.

He didn't slide his hand down, even after he had felt Rain's heart. He left it there, lingering, knowing this might be the only rare time he'd ever get to touch the other.

[deoidesign]

.

[thefaeriecreek]

/wakes up from a long, deep slumber/ hhhhhhh

[sherlock-is-ace]

the imposter syndrome i feel every time i even slightly think i might be autistic is insane, specially for a person who highly relates to the lived experiences of people who are professionally diagnosed.

Like I was just watching this one youtuber, and she was talking about very specific examples in her life and childhood where she saw autistic traits that made her realize she was autistic and then seek a diagnosis and then get one, and everything she was saying was like she was describing my life! But yeah no, I can't be autistic tho

[thnksfrthmmrs]

[meadowlarksabove]

I'm gonna be very slow with responses for the next week! (If I write at all, that is. There's a lot happening on my end that I have to prioritize.) Catch me on discord or through dm's if you need to reach me ^^

[toomuchdickfort]

Vent abt smth that gets on my Nerves

[kuh-boose]

not sure how exactly to describe it but it's really upsetting to see autism become...like a popular? disorder. it's good that people are getting diagnoses that may help them, but it also means they say they do something that's completely unrelated to the disorder and people who just want to feel special/included jump on it. this all to say I think it is possible I'm autistic, but a lot of the experiences described just seem too common? things that I would consider perfectly normal, that if I were to describe it to just about anyone they'd say they relate and people are claiming they're autistic experiences. it's making it very confusing. am I autistic or just being an asshole who wants to be part of a group?