#and when I got diagnosed with adhd at 18 finally

[ghostzzy]

anyway it kinda sorta feels like my life is just now starting.

[2hoothoots]

So I was going through your blog (again) and found some of your stuff mentions fsau Raz having ADHD, as somebody with adhd I’m intrigued, may I have some of those headcanons (canons??) related to that? Also, I would give “a penny for your thoughts” but I’m out of pennies, so here’s various images of a drawing of ur blorbo I put next to my animals, note that a rock had to be added in one picture to keep him from flying away (BONUS: his now permanent place with the wifi guardian frog)

NOTHING brings me more joy than seeing physical drawings of these guys, like, out and about. in situations. thank you for this gift, and ALSO for the great ask because it's a perfect chance to ramble

so first of all, canon Raz having ADHD is very real to me. he's constantly fidgeting and moving around, getting distracted by sidequests and scavenger hunt objectives, always talking to himself out loud, gotta write everything down so he remembers it because there's so much to DO!, running away from home because his dad yelled at him one time and now Raz assumes he must hate him forever... i could go on, but i think there's a lot of room for interpretation there!

in my headcanon, he never got diagnosed as a kid. maybe there were some notes about it in his reports each year, sure - but a little hyperactivity and distractability never seemed to slow him down. he excelled in lessons and on missions, and when he was with his family their performances gave him something to focus that energy into. it was only really when he turned 18 and graduated to a full agent that the cracks started to show.

because there's a big difference between the responsibilities you have as a minor, and the responsibilities you have as an 18-year-old living away from home! one who's expected to cook and clean for themselves, and take care of adult life stuff, and also work the 9-to-5 office job he's just graduated into that involves sitting in front of a computer and write reports all day.

short-term, he found he could get himself to power through a deadline with energy drinks and psi-pops (a lot of psi-pops...)

long-term, something had to give. he was working himself to exhaustion, constantly stressed, swinging between days spent staring at his computer screen doing nothing and all-nighters desperately trying to finish his paperwork before the deadline. it just didn't make any sense to him. he'd finally started his job as a Psychonaut, he was living independently like he'd always dreamed, he'd gotten top surgery after planning it for so long. he should have everything he ever wanted. why wasn't he happy?

following a deep post-surgical depression, about a month before his 19th birthday Raz was living out of his car, couch-surfing or sleeping in his office. he got kicked out of his apartment after falling behind on bills and rent. it wasn't that he didn't have the money, it was all just too much for him to stay on top of.

he'd probably have stayed in that misery hole for a lot longer if Frazie hadn't marched into his life and demanded he let her help him move into a new place, or she was telling mom that he was homeless. together, they sorted through all of his possessions from the last place - everything that had been hastily shoved in his car, or tossed in a box in his office, piled in a heap that was giving him anxiety even looking at it.

things do get better for him from there.

when he eventually explains things to Hollis, she gently suggests that he should get a roommate. he ends up moving in with Phoebe, and they become pretty good friends after a couple months! something about having another person around to help do the chores and wash the dishes and share the space helps, even if it takes him a while to admit it.

he gets his ADHD diagnosis, and finding the exact right medication and dose is a journey he's still on years later - but they're a huge help in getting him to actually knuckle down and finish his work on time. and the whole thing ends up being a chance for him to take a step back and really think about what he wants to do with his life. he'd always assumed that being a Psychonaut was his dream, but he'd never really reckoned with what that dream would look like before.

in the end, he sticks with it, but also decides to follow Lili's example in branching out. he applies to study a part-time Bachelor's in Psychology on a remote course, and gets accepted. juggling missions and paperwork and study and relationships (because the whole thing made him realise he also wasn't setting aside any time for himself, and wow, dating is a thing) is a lot - but he manages to figure it out, day by day.

(Lili comes back to the Psychonauts after graduating. she and Raz have both changed a lot over those four years, but on their first mission together they hit it off like a house on fire - and the rest is history!)

[teabeexo]

Hi hi hi, I've seen you around the our life tag and I am absolutely in love with your art style, it is so lovely and it got me curious on your OCs.

So do you have any general information about your other MCs for our life? I've seen that you have a Derek and Baxter MC (very interested in your Baxter MC, they always fascinate me (ironically Baxter isn't even my favorite I just love when people have messy relationships haha)) and also a Qiu MC but do you also happen to have a Cove and Tamarack MCs? Any other side characters for your version of the game? I'd ask more in depth questions but by the look of it you seem to give your MCs a lot of thought so I will ask more in depth questions for each character in the future if you'd like <3 have a lovely day !!

AHHH, hello! Thank you so much for asking!! Knowing that people are interested in my characters makes me SO thrilled! I am more than happy to yap about them <33

To answer your question, yes, I do have Cove and Tamarack MCs! They'll be below!

My Cove MC is named Winona! Lore-wise, she follows the plot of the game, with most of the nuance lying within inward turmoil rather than outward problems.

Here's the basics (with some fun facts)!

Winona was adopted by Noelani and Pamela when she was less than a year old.

She's Korean-American by birth.

Her full name is Winona Mahina Cameron.

She begins to learn the bass as a teenager, but can fully play by the time she's an adult.

Winona's birthday is August 2, which makes her a Leo.

She sings 1st soprano and has the highest range of any of my characters.

She redyes her bangs nearly every month, often to fit with an occasion or emotion she is experiencing.

Winona has diagnosed ADHD.

Her favorite animal is a firefly!

Winona's arc mainly centers around learning to focus on oneself rather than emotionally investing completely in others. Out of all the characters, Winona has a pretty easy go of it, haha. The others have a bit more angst in comparison.

Also, here is one of the only good digital pieces of Winona that I have!

Next is my Derek MC, Luella! Again, her story is more internal, but does have some outward elements too.

Here's some basic (and fun) facts!

Luella is Italian and German.

Her full name is Luella Bo Faraway.

Luella's favorite possession is a string bracelet that Derek wove for her while he was at a sport's summer camp one year.

She has diagnosed anxiety, as well as dyslexia.

She is extremely flexible and did gymnastics for her entire childhood/adolescence.

Luella sings alto.

Out of all my MCs, Luella is the best at drawing and has a creative eye.

Her birthday is March 18, making her a Pisces.

Luella gets all her facial piercings done over the course of time between Step 3 and 4, except for her nose ring, which she already has in Step 3.

Luella's legal guardian and parental figure is her elder sister, who was 20 years old whenever she was 13. Luella's story heavily revolves around survivor's guilt and self-worth.

Obligatory Luella art, haha

Wooo, next one is the one and only Baxter MC, Vérène! She is by far one of the most angsty of the MCs. Baxter is in part responsible for that, but there is also some family stuff involved.

Vérène is from Nice, France and moved to Sunset Bird when she was 11 (which means she was not present for Step 1).

She is fluent in both French and English and will use either depending on appropriateness and setting.

Vérène's full name is Vérène Dominique Alcott.

This isn't necessarily a character thing, but Vérène was the absolute hardest MC for me to decide a final design for.

Vérène bakes as a hobby, and likes to chat with Xavier about it.

She was born on February 10th, making her an Aquarius.

Vérène grows up with an old cat, then as adult rescues kittens when he passes away.

Her favorite flower is a sunflower.

She is a mezzo-soprano.

She lives with only her mother for a majority of her life following a gnarly divorce. Vérène's story has mostly themes of overcoming old emotions, as well as abandonment issues. Forgiveness (or lack thereof) is also very prevalent in her lore.

One of my favorite sketches of her!!

So! That's it for my OL:BA MCs. Let's move onto the two OL:NF MCs!

Let's start with Mina! As I've mentioned in other posts, Mina is Vérène's cousin. My other OL:NF MC, Maël, is her twin brother. Her love interest is Qiu. Like their cousin, Mina and Maël moved from Nice, France when they were 10.

Mina is French on her mom's side, but Swedish on the side of her donor's.

Mina is not fluent in English during Step 1, but that didn't impede her at all -- she learns a majority of her English from other kids (and one of them even teaches her some Japanese).

She learns the piano and plays it in her free time.

One of Mina's number-one passions is ice skating, and she often uses it as escapism.

Her birthday is June 23, making her a Cancer.

She has always loved mysterious and detective shows.

Her full name is Mina Octavia Linwood.

Mina is hyperopic, meaning she struggles to see things that are close to her eyes (hence her glasses).

Mina loves antique/old things and collects trinkets of that nature.

Most of her story is about self-confidence and self-denial, as well as discovering oneself. Qiu may have something to do with that, hehe.

Mina profile practice <33

Last but certainly not least of the MCs, we have Maël! I'll spare you most of his background context because he comes from the same place as Mina, haha. His love interest is Tamarack!

Similar to his sister, he's also not fluent in English during Step 1 -- but he's much shier about it. Mina basically becomes his shield.

He knows French and English, but also ASL.

He was born on June 23, making him a cancer (hmmm, sounds familiar LOL).

Maël plays baseball during Step 2, and during that time he builds up a lot of his confidence and social status.

Similar to Qiu, Maël is lactose intolerant!

Maël grows up to be a teacher due to Mrs. Murray's influence.

He has ADHD that goes undiagnosed until Step 3.

Maël babysits for his neighbors during Step 2 (he is known to be very good with kids).

He could be very good in school if he applied himself more, but he doesn't like school environment and how homework functions, so his grades suffer.

Maël's story deals with things like comparison to others and healing harmful complexes.

This is like... the only art of Maël that I have... featuring Tammy!

Phew! Okay. Finally, I'll quickly go over side characters that exist at the time of posting this.

I would like to stress that just because they're referred to as 'side characters', that doesn't mean I like them less than any other characters. A lot of them still have intricate lore and lives and I love them dearly -- they're just referred to like that because, through the lens of the game, that's what they are.

The entire Linwood family is technically side characters. Sonia, Jude, Beau, Raoul, and Quincy are all cousins to Mina, Maël, and Vérène. Sonia and Jude have already been written in (especially in Mina's story, and the other three probably will too, once I'm done designing them). Sonia's boyfriend Dante might also get a cameo here and there.

Otherwise, you have my OCs that are friends with the MCs.

All of my OL:BA MCs (Winona, Vérène, and Luella) are all within the same group, which consists of them and the canon characters. They don't really have any important friends beyond the ones provided in OLBA (and eachother).

BUT Mina and Maël are different. Mina's close friend group consists of Tamarack, my characters Rex, Diana, Sonia, Maxine, and my friend's OC Yuki.

Maël's close friend group is Qiu, Renee, and my characters Florian, Phoenix, and Róisín.

These characters will likely get posts of their own, and it's possible that more side characters will be developed as time goes on. Okay... I think that's all, LOL.

Thank you for asking! As always, if you have specific and in-depth questions to ask about certain OCs/MCs, their relationships with the love interests, or with each other, please feel free to ask!

Again, it's so thrilling to know that people are interested! I tried to keep this brief while also informative, but I don't know how effective that was because I tend to ramble haha!

Take care!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for telling my autistic classmate off

(👁️ <- so I can recognize my ask)

I (18ftm) am in the same class as K (18-9m), he has an autism diagnosis & is non verbal, I don't really mind, tho it makes things awkward when communicating with him since his main way of getting his points across is pointing at stuff until you understand him. That's not the problem.

The problem is he doesn't respect personal boundaries. So I have cptsd, adhd & autism (albeit under diagnosed cuz ableist family makes it impossible for me to get proper help). K likes to walk around the class & people watching I guess, just standing behind people silently. I am VERY privy about people intruding my personal space & I react badly to people watching me from behind cuz trauma. And I can't stand him being behind me most the time, I've tried to get him to understand that I DO NOT like that without telling him about my cptsd (because people are not entitled to explanations of my trauma & I'd like to keep it that way also to protect myself) but he still does it, creeping me out so much to a point where I always leave the class when it's just the 2 of us & only return when I know most of my friends are also there.

K also really likes to show us random stuff he found, most of the time I'm too occupied with work to react to it (I also don't let stuff that isn't super duper important distract me when I finally got into my focus mode cuz adhd, I also have my headphones on most of the time so I am unaware of K) & his reaction to that was to shove the object he's trying to show me right in my face. And I was reasonably irritated, I shoved his hand away & told him off, because he was intruding my personal space when I was clearly busy, he knows about my disdain towards that.

I told him to never come close to me ever again & how much I hate him for always intruding on my personal space despite already telling him to not do so. Some of my friends said I was overreacting while my family members & a few friends said that I was just defending myself as someone who is traumatized

So AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[shrimplymoray]

I'm gonna use the little bit of traction I got with my latest posts to share this

I have commissions opened and I really need the money for it

A little bit of background on myself (no need to see if you don't want to, it is just explaining why this, so out of nowhere)

I am a disabled Brazilian artist with a focus on fanart. I am from a poor family, we use all the money we have and a bit more we get from the help of friends to live by. I am the oldest of 3 siblings, and I live with my stepdad, my mother, my grandma, and my siblings. I have Level 1 Autism and Juvenile Myoclonic Epilepsy. I am over 18, but I am not able to work due to my autism limitations. I am currently studying ONLY because of a university program that pays all my university fees. My mom is on a medical retiring license off work because she has panic attacks at work. My stepdad is the only one in my house who works, and we use all that money in bills, food, and medicine. My younger siblings don't have the age to work, and my youngest one was diagnosed with autism together with ADHD.

Nowadays, we spend over 800 BRS on medicines, not counting other medical bills we have like my braces or therapy. My brother is getting as much for free, but I'm not so lucky, as I am a legal adult now. My family has been trying for 2 years to get a benefit from the government that would help us, but it is stuck in the judge's table, we can only wait for it.

I don't have therapy anymore, nor have a neurologist. I am without one of my medicines and don't have the money to go to my Psychiatrist to find a way to get more. I've recently found out I was groomed since I was 16, and I also deal with the past traumas of domestic abuse, sexual harassment, bullying, and more.

All the money I get is to try funding therapy for me. Whatever I get besides that is gonna go for me to buy a better computer so I can study and do more commissions. I also am engaged, and would like to save some money for when my fiancé comes to live with me, we can get married.

My whole goal with my art since the beginning was to share stories, make people see characters that they can relate to, and spread joy. My dreams are to be a webtoon artist, get married, and be able to afford a good life for my family, where my siblings won't need to wear hand-me-downs, where my mom will not need to go to work risking having a panic attack, where my grandma can relax and finally enjoy her retirement, where my stepdad can make a barbecue like he loves, and with as much hot sauce as he wants. Where my fiancé can relax and not need to wait over 4 years to see me again.

Any help, be it commissioning or even reblogging and spreading this, goes a long way. I have not forgotten the name of a single person who has commissioned me in the past, and I don't plan on forgetting anyone who does so in the future.

[parallelroutes]

[ temporary info/rules post until i can finish updating the formal info doc. I need to get rid of the old slides lmao. ]

-

I'm only RPing post-canon Byakuran, so he'll always be the one after Future Arc (but references to it will happen.)

Selective-ish, but I'll always follow back KHR blogs.

AUs and OCs welcome (I love them.)

Multiship in separate verses.

I try to match post formatting/length/etc. to an extent.

Sometimes I edit small things in wording or layouts.

I follow from @parallelroutes-ooc

Moth / 30+ / they/them. I write extremely slowly :')

-

Current verse is normal post-canon. I put him at 15. 3YL is, well, 3 years post-canon, so he's 18. KNY is with @tsukkiakarii - the Mare Ring misfired him into another dimension entirely! Info here. TYL+1 is when the Mare Ring misfired Current!Byakuran back into the alternate future after his old self died. Info here.

-

Some headcanons:

His mental health sucks. The guy accidentally gave himself PTSD, finally got diagnosed with chronic depression, and the inattentive ADHD never helps anyone ever.

He's literally a Manic Pixie Dream Boy. He's weird.

Demiromantic / Gray-asexual. He doesn't feel romantic attraction until it (figuratively) slaps him on the face.

He grew up in the Japanese foster care system. Kid always blamed any chaos that happened around him as "his fault" to feel in control. It's "for entertainment". (He developed some absurd coping mechanisms.)

Here's his wikia page! (Take it with a grain of salt.)

[shadowcatp269]

Intro post

tags (I don’t have many): #< previous tags #<prev tags (< I’m on mobile most of the time so I click on tags to keep them if I like it)

Tags to block if sex repulsed: #sorta nsfw? #nsfw #nsfw ish (any sex mention gets nsfw ish, sorta nsfw was old tag, nsfw is nudity, smut, or other sexual works)

Obvious Dni list: Terfs, Truscum, Homophobes, Transphobes, Racists, Proshippers, Pro MAP, NO MAPs (non offending pedophiles)

Maybe too much About me (in like a point form list thing): Call me Aki, Pronouns in description, I am 18, I'm a leftist (maybe that's obvious lol), I have been diagnosed with OCD, ADHD, and autism I'm Canadian, Sex favorable but I don't feel sexual attraction but may have in past, I feel feel my gender is all over the spectrum (Genderfluid), feminine ppl pretty (Lesbian & Aesthetic Attraction).

Interests: I'm a homestuck (and I have read it but it was when I was like 11-13 ish), I absolutely adore Pokémon and literally studied it when I was younger (I can still name every mon I see and could probably give a fact on each one), Other games I like and have played instead of just watched: Paper Mario (1st 2nd, and 3rd), Stardew Valley, Animal Crossing (all except wild world), Minecraft, I just got Don't Starve, Rainworld, and Kirby are all I can think of. This blog is for My random Interests so all of those mentioned above + fantasy and writing things cuz I have a lot of OCs. I might finally upload an art dump to my side blog.

Side Blogs:

Otherkin/Divinekin: demonic678

My Art Archived: shadowcatp264thesequel and shadowcatp264 on Cara (a new app for art)

ART COMMISIONS OPEN! Portfolio of art https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1zCowMlIVgrMrMHbbP3X_BTQNFKN00AkI?usp=sharing

Fun Fact, my background is a glitch from Rainworld mod that crashed on a spooky red empty stage. makes a good backdrop lol

[viviegirl05]

dear science side of tumblr...

i got a severe lyme disease infection in my brain when I was 16. im now 31 and i am a COMPLETELY different person than i was at 16 before i got sick. did the whole chronic illness thing affect my personality?

to be clear, i had was a bacterial infection (lyme is a bacteria) and it gave me what we called seizures but def werent--i legit though they were panic attacks for a year and went to therapy looking to treat anxiety. looking back i have no clue why i thought that. the first episode i had i was in the kitchen making a snack at home alone after school. zero pressure from anyone, no problems with school work, i finally had friends for the first time in years, things were actually pretty good at the time. after a year of therapy my therapist was like “yeah, you don’t have anxiety problems.

i didn’t get diagnosed until almost 18 months had gone by and by then my immune system was basically nonexistent and i probs would have died if i got the flu. it was BAD. i spent months rebuilding my immune system and slept like 18 hours a day minimum for a year (my senior year of hs, but the school was really great about it and i still graduated on time. wish i had taken a year off though, all my friends were in the year after me anyway).

i went off to college the next august and was IMMEDIATELY suicidal. like my parents dropped me off and within an hour of them leaving i realized i wanted to kill myself. 

i didint find a med that worked for my depression for 2 years (i tried to kill myself once by overdosing on painkillers--do not recommend. i got an ulcer that took months to heal) and shortly after discovering i was no longer suicidal a new lyme treatment led to chronic migraines. like, i was in unbearable pain for 21 months. i get botox now and get maybe 4 migraines a month, SOO much better.

all this time i was losing interest in everything i liked as a teenager and didnt really get new interests until like 5 years ago

also ive gained like 150 lbs since i got sick, so that has led to some issues, but im currently positive in my self image for the most part

i also think im ace now? idk i def masturbated a lot in hs but never actually had an orgasm (i always blamed ADHD becuase i would get bored even though i was turned on) but now its like whatever. i have a lot of chronic pain now, so maybe thats why i never feel aroused? when i use edibles for pain treatment i feel so good and pain-free that i sometimes think im turned on but im actually not. i think its just the absence of pain that leads to a pleasurable expereince of not feeling shitty that my brain thinks is good and equates with being turned on? im so confused about my sexuality at this point

the thing is, i dont feel like i am at all who i was going to be before i got sick. like, i feel like my whole persoanlity and being has changed as a result of my illness, not just my health and life/circumstances. 

i have no clue what is going on or what to think. 

any help?

[johannestevans]

Do you have any experiences you feel comfortable sharing around realizing through self dx and/or prof diagnosis being adhd and/or autistic? i have a strong suspicion i have both or one, but the symptoms make it hard to actually do some substantial research to come to an actual conclusion.

Honestly, I've know since as long as i remember that something was 'up' but my kid logic was just like 'ohhhhh if i watch enough people, ill do it just like they do, i wouldn't be different anymore :))' but whoop who would have guessed you cant logic your way out of feelings, or symptoms or disability. like i kinda stalled facing the fact by just saying; 'oh im neurodivergent but ill be undiagnosed out of respect that's good enough for me'.

But finally finishing school and talking to peers outside of school made me realize that what's 'up' with me hasn't been alleviated or fixed. that all the stress of being different hasn't faded. that i just learned to manage it to survive. that maybe an even more uncomfortable fact, that i wasn't even managing it WELL and the people around me knew the teachers knew but i was black and a 'girl' so they'd just treat me like i was lazy or didn't want to learn or i just wasn't intelligent enough to learn. did i have a difficult home life? was there a reason i wouldn't finish assignments? why id act out? why i'd always avoid eye contact? nope this kid didn't finish the assignment/is fidgeting/is RUDE, and they'd send me to the hallway and id try not to breakdown. wash rinse repeat until the end of the year and suddenly the teach was so warm and so happy to have taught you!

Nothing changes i made it though elementary, middle and high school and i didn't get a badge or pat on the back just the worst burnout at 18. i held out so much hope that oh ill work it all out and school will someday be a breeze. id just been holding onto a pipe dream for 12 years.

so when i type in "tips for keeping a tidy room"...."for adhd" or "are binders uncomfortable for people with sensory issues?" or "binder for sensory issues" and these all come up with answers that actually speak to me, i kind of start reeling! Dude this shop from singapore i ordered from sent me a binder no sensory issues, perfect fit! after trying multiple bras cuz 'binding is uncomfortable' but this binder man no chest dysphoria, all the comfort that people would signal to me whenever id say "ugh bras are uncomfortable right?"

the cold authority figures i had as a kid don't deal with the fallout of 12 years of shame and discomfort with next to no explanation. but you cant really pin it on someone. its all the culmination of systemic '-isms'. THAT's hard to make peace with.

so ill finally admit that "ill just be undiagnosed out of respect :)" is just internalized ableism. that a lot of what i thought about myself was just internalized ableism. ill give every other person the benefit of the doubt regardless of professional diagnosis status, why don't i afford myself that same compassion the answer is obviously internalized ableism now that i write it out. but I've got to heal everybody does.

But damn if healing isn't bitter! medicine that can only be sweetened up with artificial strawberry, lest it loses its potency. so ill take the first step and round back to the beginning of what i was saying;

hey! pursuing a professional diagnosis as a black, young,trans person in the us south is daunting. do you have any autism and/or adhd self dx resources, neurodivergency resources or have any anecdotes about living with both that are fun i never hear about enough fun ppl have! anything would be helpful!

Hey there!

My experiences were pretty wild, honestly, I wasn't diagnosed through school and university even though I was a pretty classic case, and then I did pursue my Dx as an adult a few years ago.

It was pretty expensive, and because I'm self-employed and set my own hours that are quite intuitive and based off of my own needs and limits, I actually found that the medication I was prescribed made my workload harder to handle.

It's not that the medications for ADHD are bad - if I ever go back to university or enter more traditional employment again, I do want to keep meds in mind as an option - but that they're really intended to get you focused and adjusted for a 9 to 5 or other traditional job structure, and that's just not what my life looks like.

I will say that like...

It's not that a diagnosis is bad, but I actually do have some concerns about it in terms of receiving medical care - some bigoted doctors use ADHD and autism diagnoses as a reason to withhold medical care or otherwise to deny healthcare and assistance; some countries actually stipulate in their immigration policies that a condition like autism will negatively impact your ability to immigrate there.

If you want to try medication and you feel like you need it, official diagnosis might be a good route for you, but if you don't want medication, official diagnosis might be a hindrance as much as it could be a help.

There's nothing wrong or bad about having a diagnosis, what I'm saying is more that like... If you have ADHD or autism, then you have it whether a doctor agrees or not. You only need that doctor's piece of paper if you want to seek out medical treatment - lots of people seek out other resources while being self-diagnosed, especially because seeking out clinical diagnosis can be so expensive, and you can avail of any online resources without being "officially" ADHD or autistic, you know?

I don't have a huge amount of resources, but a few recs I have are:

ADHD Alien's comics - Pina's comics are very cute and I find a lot of them very relatable, but they almost always also have resources linked in the replies by Pina themselves or somebody else, specifically for the issue addressed in each comic.

HowToADHD - Jessica's videos are really comprehensive and go through a lot of ADHD experiences from different angles, especially looking at the day-to-day issues of the workplace or the domestic sphere with lots of little tips!

I was on Jeremy Sachs and Katherine Cox's podcast this month with my friend Ashleigh Wilder, and we talked about the impact of autism and trauma, which might be helpful. Ashleigh is an actor and poet, but he's got a background in psych, and they post a lot of resources around autism and other neurodivergence like OCD.

Healing sucks big time, and it takes a lot of time to unpack a lot of that internalised pain and fear - and also just like... recognising the things in you which might be to do with neurodivergent traits, and realising you can seek out resources or things to make your life easier.

It's a long journey for any of us, but I wish you luck, and I hope some of these resources make it easier to seek out more!

In general, I would absolutely remind you to always tack on "for adults" when searching for a lot of resources, simply because so many of them assume ADHD is a kid's condition and a kid's concern.

[vigilvntes]

why does tumblr make you so anxious? we love you! and we love your fics but even you're not writing it's always lovely to see you post.

:')

it's honestly really strange that tumblr makes me feel so anxious because i love being here and i love talking to you guys and hearing your thoughts and i love all of you very dearly. NOT TO GET DEEP but we're gonna get a little bit deep. i have ADHD, and i was diagnosed later on when i was around 18, so i spent pretty much my entire childhood being ashamed of myself for not being able to live up to my own (very high (thanks mum and dad)) expectations, other people's expectations of me (even if they have NO expectations) and for being so burnt out so often, because i had no explanation for it until i looked into it and finally got diagnosed. and i guess that shame never really went away, i still feel it and it's very overwhelming even though i KNOW it's unreasonable and you guys are always so kind and understanding and lovely. if i come here and i have nothing to post because i haven't been writing, i just end up feeling very guilty and i tend to just avoid coming back for a while. and then because i'm so avoidant in my head it's like "well, i haven't been back on tumblr for a while, i haven't been writing and that's all i'm good for on there, so they probably don't want to chat to me or read anything i post or interact with me because i'm so flaky and unreliable and i should probably just keep avoiding". it's a vicious cycle, and i'm not even sure if it makes sense, but i'm trying to unlearn that behaviour and i'm trying to learn to accept that sometimes i won't meet my own expectations, and that's okay. i'm trying to be kinder to myself, baby steps but we're getting there!!! i'm here because i want to be here and i'm not avoiding right now so i guess that's what counts!!!

i love u anon and i love all of u very much <3

[yestrday]

if its not too personal or invasive, could I ask how you got diagnosed with adhd? I've been wondering about it myself for a few years but have no idea how to go about it considering my age (17) since adhd is usually diagnosed in early childhood :P

i was referred to a psychiatrist two times by school doctors, and it was only for the second time did my mom finally put me in therapy. i was put in there for anxiety since i'd shake a lot when im front of a crowd (even tho i dont feel stage fright). when we were talking the other day, i explained to my therapist how me forgetting things is a constant stressor for me and the people around me.

she quickly detected it through my fidgeting, forgetfulness, and other symptoms. i've had these symptoms since i was a child, but i'm 18 now when i got diagnosed. if your scared of asking your parents to get you a proper diagnosis, your school might have a proper counselor or even a psychiatrist who can help you! ask them, and maybe even ask for a written note to show your parents that you're not attention-seeking and this is a problem that's been bothering you.

[letterstobojack]

IT GETS EASIER.... it really does.

Hey Boj,

Hehe,well anyways my whole life I've dealt with depression,alcoholic/abusive mother,suicidal thoughts/self harm,in and out of foster care,and just horrible family and "friends" around me. I dealt with a negative mindset or" rain cloud" over my head & heart which made me emotionally numb to care about myself and others,just hating myself the most. I got into my dads custody around 15 after my mom abandoned me(while we were living in a halfway house and shelter that we eneded up in because of her addiction)at 14 just few weeks shy of my birthday,which put me in foster care for the 3rd time,my dad smokes pot so he had to drop pot for a full year right then and there till he got full custody of me. I love my dad hes just very narcissistic,and abusive when hes angry which is a lot, but hes sadly all I have left. I was still depressed,I was diagnosed with PTSD from everything I endured with my mother,btw I've been diagnosed with adhd,depression,panic and anxiety attacks, and in therapy since I was 5yrs old. So I already had a track record with my mental health and now I had literal abandonment issues. I started to self harm I didnt want to live,I felt that I wasnt worth it,anyways fast forward a year into being with my dad we had to move cause the people we rented from lost their house to gambling issues,so we saved up money n left, but while were between places I'm working my hardest to graduate early which i did so we didnt have a reason to come back a whole county over every day. After we finally moved in and I graduated I had an online friend recommend ur show to me,I almost clicked off after the first epsiode not gonna lie,but I stuck thru it because if people just left after the first time with me they wouldn't get to know me or even be in my life. I stuck through it,had just turned 18 I didnt work for the first 6 months of being 18 through out those 6 months I watched all the 4 seasons that were currently out over and over all day, everyday. Why?cause I fell in love with ur show,and needed to understand it more,I didnt understand some episodes till like the 10th time watching. In the words of Wanda"some things take time". I related to you so much,bojack,from unloving,neglectful parents to just wanting to be something and people to like you even in your self destructive behavior. Feeling nothing on the inside or nothing on the outside. When you started you're brand new attitude or BNA, it really inspired me,but it really hit me when you went back to look for CuddlyWhiskers. When he said " takes a long time to realize how truly miserable you are, and even longer that it doesnt have to be that way. Only after you give up everything can you begin to find a way to be happy." . That really hit me hard,its like a flip switched in my body,I seen things on the other side of the glass for once. I "woke up" sorta.... I realized i am more than my sadness or pain. I smoked a lot of pot and eventually went cold turkey and sober from everything. I wanted to find myself,care for myself, care about me the way I so sadly craved for others to care about me. I started my BNA. I wanted this for me and only me,cause I'm the only one that needed to matter in my world not others. Call me selfish but for the first time in my life I was happy. It took so long for me to truly see how miserable I was,and longer to see the option was always there for me to flip the script.  Thank you so much,ik in life we naturally grow in our minds,but I dont think without ur show I wouldn't of clicked so soon or at all to be honest. I didnt think there was someone or anyone who could see things how I did or do. Let alone a talking horse who stands on his own 2 legs and stars in his own movie with a on and off cat gf/agent in the town of Hollywoo. Thank you for being real,raw,and such a genuine display of emotions,nothing was sugar coated things were hit head on. I dont self harm anymore,I rarely have any anxiety or panic attacks,I'm definitely not depressed anymore, I somehow see the cup half empty n half full at the same time. I guess it keeps me sane knowing theres bad and good,and that those options are there and you have to make the beat of which ever you are handed with. Thank you Bojack Horseman,Princess Carolyn,Todd Chavez,Sarah Lynn,Diane Nguyen,even ....ugh Mr.Peanutbutter *face palm*. You all made this show amazing,and this show made my life easier and understandable for the first time. This show did something for me that Doctors, Therapists, prescriptions,religion, family,friends, the system never did for me. This show helped me and most importantly showed me to help myself. Thank you so much!!!! I can not even begin to explain my gratitude for this show and the characters lasting effect on my heart. You saved me from the tar I let myself fall into. I was able to see that light at the end of the tunnel. I've shared what I learned with others and saved some friends IRL and online from the tar that effects us in life. I'm not saying I have all the answers but I sure know that life will not always be this way and that there is hope there is a light at the end of the tunnel even if u have to crawl ur way there and leave some people behind cause those things and people will thrash  and struggle and try to take you down with them. You have to find ur way up from whatevers putting you down. See things from the other side. Not many people know it doesnt have to be this way even if that sounds easy it's really not,but knowing it can be helps and those around you willing to help really helps. Thank you for being there for me,thank you for showing me you can do the hokey pokey and turn yourself around,cause that's what it's all about. 😭 I CAN NOT THANK YOU ENOUGH THE ENDING BREAKS MY HEART BUT IT BRINGS IT BACK TOGETHER IN A WHOLE NEW WAY.IM HAPPY SEEING ALL OF YOU HAVE A POSITIVE ENDING A TURN AROUND OR TURNING YOURSELF AROUND 😂💕 THANK YOU BOJ, I WILL MISS YOU DEARLY BUT WILL ALWAYS CARRY WHAT YOU TAUGHT ME

LOVE,SOPHIA DEMARTINO OF FULLERTON,CALIFORNIA,USA. 

THANK YOU SO MUCH💕💕💕💕💕 

P.S. thank you,again,obviously.... 

[help-is-on-the-way]

Ive finally reread the Lemonade Mouth book and i have feelings. This may be long.

Ive watched the movie countless times since i was like 12, it has always been one of my favorite disney movies. I had their songs in my mp3 and at school i liked carrying my house keys around so i could pretend i was Wen in Turn Up The Music. Anyway. Ive always known it was a story adapted from a book. I remember buying it when i was like 16 after watching the movie for the bajillionth time. I never finished it. I remember the different POVs threw me off a bit and the language didnt make it any easier (english isnt my first language and the book has never been translated). My bookmarker said i made it to page 152. But i honestly did Not remember at all like 90% of the changes. So im like pretty sure i read it without Actually reading.

Anyway. Now im 24 and i rewatched the movie 3 nights in a row this week. And im way more well versed in english nowadays. So i decided to give the book another shot. Now, like i said, i have feelings. I read the whole thing in 2 nights. Im not sure what im doing right now and im sure im overexplaining things, as i usually do. But well. I think i wanna say some stuff.

First of all, after reading the book i can confidently say the movie is a pretty amazing adaptation. Ive always known that, but like, now i have undisputable proof. The way they made the story flow in just under 2 hours always baffled me. They got like 7 character stories going on and it never feels too much. And the changes from the book are mostly all understandable, and some of them i even like way better in the movie in my opinion. I mean. Except their appearances changes. I love Bridget Mendler as much as the next guy, but .. Fat Olivia wouldve been so cool to see. Especially considering the movie/book themes.

I remember whenever i rewatched the movie as a 18 year old and onwards, i always thought something along the lines of. Wow. For a movie all about revolution, and being a freak, and not conforming to the social mold, and being a minority - the lack of queer related stuff is so Loud. I guess it always disappointed me. Not that we are freaks, but well. Im sure we all felt it a some point. I remember being angry about it, then. But i get it. Of course i always did, in a way. It was 2011 and it was disney. And im not stupid either. Stella is a glaringly obvious lgbt subtext allegory - maybe its the Hayley Kyoko in her, but they all knew what they were doing, i think. I can see that. Its subtext. I just cant help it but feel a bit disappointed that it isnt text too. Dont get me wrong. Stella's character in the book manages to be even more marvellous than in the movie (an impressive feat). I was in shock that she was written explicitly and diagnosed with dyslexia and ADHD. Being a different but similar kind of neurodivergent myself, that was really cool and genuinely surprised me, as ive always related to the feeling dumb sentiments she has. But, you know. Still kinda made me sad. You could make the argument that she didnt need a romantic arc or whatever, cause she was going through a lot, blablabla. And, yeah. I agree with you. She was going through a lot. Thats kinda the point though. All five of them were. Its the whole point of their characters. Theyre all going through their stuff and they got school problems on top of it. Im not saying she needed a girlfriend of anything. She didnt, and her character is one of the most fleshed out ones.

Which then brings me to my next point. Honestly. I feel like the book had a lot more romance going on than the movie. In parts it was really sweet, and in others kind of annoying. The movie always made it very clear that Mo and Charlie wouldnt be a thing, and i come from that reality and mentality. So imagine my surprise when they are actually a thing by the end of the book. Idk. Ive always disliked Scott, and hated that he got in the band and played with them at the Madison Square Garden by the end. He never felt like one of the band, he never felt like a lemonade mouth. I dont think he ever really understood their struggles as freaks. At least not in my eyes. So he always felt a bit undeserving of his spot. He's there because of Mo, for Mo and Mo only. He's even more of an asshole in the book, so im glad hes not really brought up again after he tries to apologize and Mo says she isnt interested. I really like that this is what happens in the book. I might be too much of a Scott hater, but, yeah. I do like it. I dont think Mo shouldve gotten with Scott in the movie either. But i also dont think she shouldve gotten with Charlie, is the point. Sure, Charlie's character in the book actually puts in the effort to get to know Mo, he is sweet, he makes her feel listened to, and he tries to learn about her heritage and culture. He does not feel like hes in love with the idea of Mo (aside the first few POVs of him) (he quickly grows from that when they become proper friends). He loves her for her. And thats something i dont feel like it happens with movie-Charlie.

In fact, i feel like movie-Charlie is the most not-book character of them all. Hes got the most background change, and most of the time he isnt seem doing much (most of his scenes were passed on to Wen - going with Stella to ask about the lemonade machine, being the one that's approached by Lyle when he sells the Lemonade Mouth Live at the Bash CDs). When theyre deciding if they should become a band or not at the pizzaria, his coin flip in the book matters because thats heavily tied to his way of seeing the world and the universe. Tied to his belief that hes the wrong brother to have survived, so Aaron (heads) also deserves a chance to choose his actions for him, just as much as Charlie himself (tails) does. And thats explored time and time again over the pages. Its incredibly interesting and original. When they get rid of his dead twin brother, and build up a living-in-the-shadow-of-a-perfect-older-brother backstory for him, the coin flip just seems like hes an undecisive guy, who doesnt have a good reason to say No, but also not to say Yes either. And while thats fine, i guess... it just doesnt hold the same value narratively speaking. It just feels more shallow, like hes simply a more laid back guy. I do like movie-Charlie, but book-Charlie is way more interesting. His book appearance is more fitting too. Hes described as a regular chubby guy with unruly hair. I like that.

Anyway, back to the romance thing. Its fine i guess. Im mostly against Mo x Charlie in the book because it just kinda feels weird after watching the movie for 12 years. I liked the "friendzone" arc. Its nice when a boy and a girl can just be friends in media, no ulterior motives behind it (though that doesnt really happen either) (we see that more with Stella and the boys). Also because idk im not a huge fan of how Mo eventually came around and confessed to Charlie in the book. I know that theyre 14 but Charlie was still hurt by what she had said, and though she did apologize and admited that she screwed up, i feel like i wouldve liked it more if she explained to him what was going on through her head better. Like if she had explained to him what she had explained to the reader, it kinda wouldve made it a lot better for me. Cause Charlie said multiple times that he was confused by the whole thing, and hurt, but still they kissed twice. And that was it, they were dating now. But then again, if they were able to express themselves that well, they wouldnt be 14 year olds.

And then on the other side of the romantic things going on theres Wen and Olivia. Ive always liked them as a couple since i was a kid. And their moments in the book were pretty fucking good. I love the subtle ways in which Wen slowly begins to pay more attention to her, and notice how his feelings toward her change, even though he doesnt really understand what they are. I lost my mind when in the beginning he described her eyes as a simple brown, but the next time it happens he sees that it has hints of yellow as well. And their fight scene ?!?!??!! Bro !!! The peak-ism of it all..... the way Wen crosses the street without Olivia, and theyre shouting while on different sidewalks, with cars going between them, a clear and visual indication of this rift they suddenly found themselves in. Its so good. Hurts so well. And it gives more of a reason for Olivia to lose her voice as well, cause she had to yell over the noise and stuff. While in the movie she lost her voice over yelling two sentences while they were 2 meters away from each other, which always striked me as odd.

Speaking of which i feel like i have so much to say about Olivia, and at the same time so little. I honestly dont know which i prefer better, movie-Olivia or book-Olivia. From a poetic and creative standpoint, i really like that Olivia's POV throughout the book is told solely through her letters to her dad (+ naomi at the end). Its very charming. But at the same time it also kinda feels like it hurts her characterization a bit in places. She tells stuff through a letter format to her dad, so at times it feels like she is withholding stuff while at the same time saying Much More than a 14 year old would say to their dad. And, granted, that does say a lot about her as a character, but you know. The point of different POVs is to explore the characters more. But because shes stuck telling the events to her dad, if feels like shes only allowed to be his daughter - and it also feels forced at times when she tells stuff to him that i know just needs to be said for plot reasons. Which is a bit sad. I have the feeling that it is intentional, but idk. I feel like after 336 pages i still barely know her. We mostly get to know about her through other people - we basically only see Olivia-daughter and Olivia-quiet friend. I wanna see Olivia, dammit!!! It kinda sucks cause i love her. Shes the main singer, for goodness' sake !!!! And in the book nobody else sings besides her too.

This paragraph from one of Mo's POV kinda sums it all. Im stuck in a fence trying to understand if thats a good thing or not, when shes still a mystery even to the reader, only a 100 pages away from the end of the book. I want to know whats going on in her head so badly.

This kinda brings me to another point, slightly connected to the romance thing. The girls barely interact with each other. Of course we know they all become friends, and by the time the Halloween Bash is over and Nancy dies, Wen is already describing them all as a family in his POV. So we know they are all closer than they were. From this point on they always describe themselves as friends, when before there was always an uncertainty over their relationship. But like, getting to my original point. The girls' interaction is scarce. Mo and Stella have the fight scene in the beginning, when the band first tried to make things work and they butted heads. And then they get a descriptive scene of the two of them having fun while reading a magazine and coloring the pictures with a pen. After that, all of Mo's scenes are with Charlie, Naomi, or the other 4 as a band. At the end Wen mentions that Mo gives him the "shovel talk" so he doesnt hurt Olivia. But we never get to see Mo and Olivia properly interacting one on one. I guess its fine narratively speaking, but like. I wanna see, you know. Olivia's scenes are even worse, theyre all either with Wen or the whole band. Olivia has more scenes with Sydney than with the other girls in her band. And its not just the girls, Wen and Charlie also never interact with each other. I feel like the focus in romance is greatly to blame for this. The movie lacks on this too, dont get me wrong. But its easier to convey their closeness with each other when there's a visual representation of them happening in front of my eyes and i can See them all interacting between them without dialogue. Like Wen and Charlie singing the jingle of Rising Star together when they were in detention, or later on the two of them walking around school. Or Mo hugging Olivia and standing close to her after Nancy died and More Than a Band happens. The whole More Than a Band scene actually, cause it kinda becomes a "silent" montage of them having fun together. Or having Wen with Stella when she realizes the actions of her consequences and suddenly the whole school knows shes the one responsible for cutting Mudslide Crush's set for the Bash in half. You know what i mean ?? As a big fan of found family i just kinda wish there was more of the rest of the relationships between the 5 of them. And in the book thats especially jarring. Which kinda goes back into the thing i said about Olivia's POV.

She wont write about these details to her dad. The only time she wrote in detail about a conversation was when she fought with Wen. So we're kinda missing out on a POV that Could help bridge the band together in a way for the reader to see more clearly. Cause its obvious they love each other and theyre family, but we dont get to see much How exactly that happens. The cloud watching scene is like the main bonding moment in between the group and practically the only one we get to participate in. And it's not from Olivia's POV, it never is. Her cat died and we're told what happens through Wen's eyes. She has a "nervous attack" before the Halloween Bash to the point of puking and we're told what happens through Random Girl #6 That Just So Happens to Be Hiding at The Next Stall Over. She takes the band to see her dad in prison (a pretty big deal to everyone envolved) and, again, we're told through Wen's eyes.

In the movie, Olivia's mom died when she was really young (young enough to not remember her face), and her dad "made bad decisions because of it". The way she talks about it makes it seem that immediately after her mom died, her father got into trouble with the law. So like her dad has been gone idk 12 years or something. She doesn't know him, doesn't know her mom. We're never told what exactly he did, and i kinda always got the impression that it was something bad, something that Olivia kinda resented him by, at least a little bit. I know she simply stated that she never wrote him back cause she didnt know what to say to him, cause he was basically a stranger to her. But you know. I feel thats enough to resent somebody, cause maybe she doesnt even know what he did either. If something like this happened in my family, i probably wouldnt know either. Not until i was like 22 and my aunt spilled the story while drunk during Christmas. Its not the type of thing you tell a child - it's the type of thing the child quietly accepts as just a part of their normal. So, at the end, she decides to give him a chance by writing a letter to him. I quite like that cause she was kinda doing the same thing she fought Wen for. He never gave Sydney a chance, and she had never given her father a chance either.

Book-Olivia, on the other hand. Her mother didn't die, she simply left. Olivia also does not remember her face. Her mom and dad had a teen pregnancy, the mom had drug problems and the dad already had minor criminal records. Mom left when she was 1. And her dad was a good father to her until she was 8. And she remembers that he was a good father. He had dreams of being an english teacher. And then he got fired from his taxi driving job, couldnt get another because of his past felonies, fell into old habits, and accidentally caused an old man to have a heart attack while attempting robbery. So he's in jail. And Olivia knows this stuff because she remembers. She was old enough to ask questions, to demand answers when her loving father suddenly wasn't coming home anymore. So she writes letters to him all the time, she keeps him updated on her life cause she knows he would like to be present, but can't. She also knows he made mistakes, and isnt looking for excuses for him. But he's a good father too.

Theyre similar backstories but also so different. Theres things i like about both. The Sydney-dad parallels in the movie are pretty good. The book's scene of the band visiting dad in prison is fantastic. I feel like the movie did a good job translating the book and adaptating Olivia's backstory. I quite like that the whole movie is Olivia's letter to her dad, telling him about her band. It's a pretty good way to tie her to her POVs from the book. I dont remember where i was going with this, honestly. I like Olivia.

Mo's story is also pretty good in both. I feel like the only significant difference between book-Mo and movie-Mo is that Naomi's whole character is gone. So is her family owned store and the obvious religious references amd practices, and Mo is seen doing less extracurriculars. So the illness she contracts before Rising Star in the movie feels less like a burn out and more like a really unfortunate coincidence. I understand why they cut Naomi out, but the fact that Mo had a pretty good friend before the band makes so much sense. She doesnt really struggle socially, its more that she has a family influenced plan for her future, and doesnt have time for other stuff.

[hismercytomyjustice]

Please pray for me because I’m about ready to start biting people at work, lol.

I am going to end up in jail for taking a chunk out of someone’s arm while foaming at the mouth.

I was gonna take today off since I had yesterday off for Juneteenth and I’m major stressed about this trip next week. But then we were told we would be going through the agenda for the trip on the call so I was like “cool, makes sense, for the sake of my anxiety/ocd and desperate need to know what the schedule is and be as prepared as possible, I’ll cancel my extra day off so I can go to this meeting.”

TELL ME WHY THEY TOLD US ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ABOUT THE TRIP ASIDE FROM “YOU’LL GET THE AGENDA TOMORROW.”

TOMORROW??? LESS THAN 24 BUSINESS HOURS BEFORE I WILL BE IN NY???

Look. I am not trying to be difficult. I know my need to know as much as possible about something before getting into it is a bit…extreme.

BUT THERE ARE ONLY 19 OF US GOING. HOW HAVE YOU NOT FINALIZED AN AGENDA YET OR AT LEAST GIVEN US A ROUGH MOCKUP OF WHAT TO EXPECT???????

Oh my GOD. I am losing my FUCKING MIND. Oh, but we were told to expect to still be doing our regular work even though we “have a packed schedule.”

WHAT. WHAT.

WHEN. Y’all already got us flying there Monday morning and leaving Wednesday night.

WHEN. WHEN WHEN WHEN????

The level of anxiety I feel at having absolutely no fucking clue what to expect for a trip this close is OFF THE CHARTS.

I don’t feel like I’m asking for the sun and the moon and the stars??? I just want to know basic shit like if I’ll get any breaks (haha, good one), how “packed” the packed schedule is, how much time I’m going to have to mask like my life depends on it, and how much time am I going to have to come down from being around people and being nonstop busy every single day.

Plus the added stress (to me) of having to rush there and rush back home because the multi-billion-dollar company I work for is too stingy to pay for us to either go up Sunday or leave Thursday.

lol I want to fucking cry from frustration.

Literally the whole having ocd thing means I am hardwired to have little to no tolerance of uncertainty/change and desperately desire routine. Plus the fun addition of ADHD means I’m very easily overstimulated and have impaired executive function (which I’m going to need in spades for this damn trip).

That doesn’t even take into account the fact my therapist (who specializes in ocd) says I probably have autism too. There’s a pretty significant rate of comorbidity and an overlap in symptoms between autism and ocd and they often get misdiagnosed for the other because of it.

“The prevalence of OCD is estimated to range from 4.9% to 37.2% in children and adolescents diagnosed with ASD, and from 7% to 24% in adults with ASD.”

A wild range in the state, but still significant enough they’re like “we see the link.”

I was around 18 the first time I was told by a therapist that I might have ocd and lord knows I had symptoms before that. Tbh I’m 99.9% certain my ocd symptoms started around age 12/13. I just didn’t see a therapist for the first time until I was 18 (yaaaay growing up poor!). Then I got told again back in 2022 by another therapist “hey, has anyone ever told you that you might have ocd” and then finally by my ocd specialist therapist (who I wasn’t even seeing for ocd, just exposure therapy which tends to be one of the main treatments for ocd) who was like “you 1000% have pure o ocd” lol. Not her exact words, but that was the sentiment.

Pure o is a bit of a misnomer because a lot of the compulsions are internalized rather than externalized (ex. reassurance seeking, spiraling in an attempt to suppress/ignore distressing thoughts, avoiding situations that may trigger obsessions, exhaustively assessing and reassessing what-ifs…).

My current therapist actually personally has ADHD and specializes in OCD. While she’s not in a position to diagnose someone with autism, she’s still in a good enough spot to say “I’m pretty confident you have it.”

I did get tested for it when I got tested for ADHD at my request, but didn’t get the diagnosis for it. lol after three separate therapists had to consult with each other on whether or not I might have it. I was deemed as “having signs of autism, but not enough autism” lmaooo. The lady who did my assessment was new enough in her career she had to get the results signed off on by a superior (who, if memory serves, also changed in the middle of my assessment) and was told not enough autism. Tho the assessor and my therapist (part of the assessment involved them comparing notes on me) were both like “we see it.”

And ever since then I’ve been trying to figure out if the ambiguity is because I’ve gotten really fucking good at masking or if it’s just because my special brand of adhd/ocd encompasses 2/3 of a whole autism lmaooo. There is little doubt in my mind that, before I learned to mask in my early twenties, I probably would’ve been diagnosed without any hemming and hawing. BUT HERE WE ARE.

The joys of trying to get a diagnosis later in life after you’ve spent decades learning how to fucking cope, or at least fake it well enough to get by.

WHO KNOWS.

I feel mildly less like I might bite someone now, but I’m sure that’s not gonna last. lol. Lord help me.

The timeframe for that is going to be largely dependent on when they finally give us the agenda tomorrow lol. Morning? Minimal risk. Late afternoon? Gonna need a muzzle.

┻━┻︵ \(°□°)/ ︵ ┻━┻

[aboatwithlegs]

An Objectively Correct Rewrite of The Arthur Finale

'Sup nerds and nerdinos, I have a problem with Arthur.

No, not Arthur Koestler (though no one with CBE after their name escapes my wrath on principle alone). I'm talking about Arthur Read, the autistic aardvark who dresses like an 8 year old Mr. Rogers and somehow still has more friends than you.

But my problem isn't with the twerp's fashion sence, it's with Season 25, Episode 4b: All Grown Up, aka Arthur's final episode. The very moment it released in 2022 the ground quaked, the oceans roared, the angels wept as the sky tore asunder and God Themself¹ decended to personsally task me with rewriting it. I said I'd get around to it.

Babies and mentlegen, that day is today because I have nothing better to do.

TW: SA, drugs, death, TERFs, student loans

The Correct Futures

The only thing you need to know about the old version is that they got old, cuz we're scrapping all of it aside from that. The adult versions of each characters was so far removed from the actual futures of these characters that I am personally insulted and have filed with my lawyer to see everyone responsible for it given a restraining order. So we gotta fix that. This episode here is gonna be a feature-length anthology film. Every character gets a 5-10 minute sequence where we see how the next 20 years of their life unfold. I'm gonna put them in alphabetical order because the only one who can tell me what to do is my talking cat. Oh, and remember: Habrá Examen, Langosta Perezosa! ***~~~*** ***~~~***

Alan "Brain" Powers: Goes to MIT and finds that, after being "The Brain" for so many years, he is suddenly just average. It's such a shock to his ego that he begins to instinctively lash out at everything he finds unfamiliar, eventually dropping out and becoming a moderately successful right-wing podcaster and youtuber.

Arthur Read: Our boy grows up to be a perpetual grad student (English major, of course). He pays the rent as a TA and is so terrified of the world outside of academia that he finds comfort spending quiet evenings in, grading papers from the comfort of his dingy bachelor apartment. He lives off instant ramen and spends most of his free time escaping into his books. He sometimes daydreams of getting a "real job", owning a house, and raising a family like his parents did, but dismisses it as too idealistic.

Buster Baxter: Eventually gets Diagnosed with ADHD and an Adderall prescription changes his life. He starts excelling in school and fixates on a dream of becoming an indie film director. At age 14 he is diagnosed with a brain tumor, and a few weeks after his 17th birthday his dying wish is fulfilled when his ashes are sent to space². Every year that passes his friends take a little longer to remember his name.

D.W. Read: Develops symptoms of BPD and a coke addiction. At age 16 she uses a fake I.D. to get a job as a stripper until her cousin Ryder recognises her mid-lap dance. She spends a year in juvie and drops out of high school. She drops by the Read household every few months to ask for money, but the rest of the time no one knows where she is.

Fern & George Walters: Fern and George marry when they are both 18, he takes her last name. She is a stay-at-home mother raising their two young children, writing BDSM-fueled erotic fiction while the kids are at school. George keeps the bills paid with a steady office job as a software engineer and maintains a healthy work-life balance to ensure he's present for his family. They've never left Elwood and wouldn't have it any other way.

Frank Frensky: Frank (still going by "Francine") goes through an extended period of identifying as a butch lesbian before finally coming out as trans-masc. When he finally transitions it involves cutting off his family and moving out of state to start fresh. He plays drums in an underground queercore collective and self-publishes a zine featuring semi-biographical comics about a young boy growing up in Elwood.

Jenna Morgan: Disappears under mysterious circumstances. No one notices for 7 years, which then sparks a city-wide furvor as everyone tries to investigate the disappearance at once. Later found to have not actually gone anywhere.

Muffy Crosswire: Dates Frank ("Francine") for most of high school. Muffy ends the relationship when Frank comes out as trans and gets deep into TERF circles. After graduating Yale and getting her LLM in constitutional law she enters state-level politics as an openly queer Republican. She uses LGBTQ+ and Feminist talking points to advance a far-right cryptofascist agenda and is generally considered to be "one of the good ones" by both parties.

Prunella Deegan: A naturopathic wellness-coach with extensive collections of both healing crystals and cats. Her entire segment is an extended anti-vax rant with hippy aphorisms sprinkled throughout. Enthusiastically voted for Muffy.

Shelley "Binky" Barnes: His mother begins an extended affair with Pickles the Clown, leading the already-distant Mr. Barnes to file for divorce. Binky is left in his mother's care, but she soon finds him too much to handle, especially with how little he seems to respect his new step-father. He is passed around various aunts and uncles for most of his adolescent life and begins to act out at school as a result, earning him a reputation as a troublemaker. When he's sixteen he attends a house party and finds Sue Ellen alone in a room with the dead body of a boy from their class. She frantically explains that he was trying to assault her and hit his head on something after she pushed him off. Binky opts to take the fall for her, stating to police that he punched the boy in jealousy. He is sentenced to 10 years in prison for aggravated assault and 3rd degree murder. Even while in prison he maintains a close friendship - bordering on romance - with Sue Ellen, but he insists that she not wait for him because he wants her to be happy and loved. A week after his release he is arrested for armed robbery. Officers report that the suspect seemed relieved when they arrived, and said something to the effect of "I'm going home".

Sue Ellen Armstrong: Sue Ellen becomes an ardent activist in middle school and is a regular face at demonstrations and community support orgs alike all throughout high school. When she's 16 a boy tries to force himself on her at a house party and she fights him off, accidentally snapping his neck and killing him instantly. Binky perjurs himself in order to take the fall for her. As the years pass, Sue Ellen gets burned out as an activist and instead works as a graphic designer for NPOs. She continues to visit Binky in prison and considers him her one true love, though he insists they can never be because she deserves someone who can be there for her. Sue Ellen never commits to a serious relationship, but does occasionally entertain casual encounters with older, often married, men. Occasionally speedruns Virtual Goose: Unleashed on Twitch.

Third Grade Male Rat #1: Killed in an altercation after sexually assaulting Sue Ellen. Is mourned by no one.

No one.

So yeah, I think that's pretty much it. Make it hand-drawn, black-and-white, and have it on my desk in an hour kthxbi

[coffeehazard]

HELLO TUMBLR I AM NEW PERSON

Never have posted here before, but I wanted a place for all my work experiences, be it funny, stressed, terrible, or probably normal!

I hope you guys enjoy the first one: My getting started experience!

So back in 2021, I was finally 16, old enough for some simple low paying jobs for part-timers. I thought I was just going to work nights for a couple of hours after school, but that quickly changed after christmas. However, that will be a story for another time.

When I started my job search, I quickly ruled out 3 places, gas stations, mcdonalds, and seasonal hires. (Since I started at the beginning of a new school year, seasonals were out of the question.) So I applied at every restaurant in town, even one of our grocery stores. For a total of, I believe, 18 rejections. Taco Bell was our last place(I was also rejected from Mcdonalds but considered after I was hired for TB). Now Taco Bell had an amazing old man of a manager. He had some kids of his own, and our big boss(his boss) was also super nice and would buy us stuff for some holidays!

Now, at the time of job searching and hiring, I had no idea I had autism. I had been diagnosed early on with ADHD since our dad also has ADD and ADHD. Autism wasn't really on our radar since we didn't know of the varying kinds of Autism. I am a very functioning adult now, and we didn't know of the setbacks not knowing I was autistic was gonna cause.

Before we get too deep, I just wanna say if I repeat too much, it's because this is a loooong story, and I'm trying not to share too much. CARRY ON!

For Taco Bell, I had no resume, but I did have a slip of paper of one of my recommendations from a family friend. (And also other information I forgot about) I was mostly hired as a shot in the dark and turned out to be one of their best employee's. I had worked there for a little over a year before getting a new job for some different experience. Now, with TB I was talked through and shown how to do stuff multiple times to get it in my head so I was mostly independant as I could pick up a skill pretty fast(some I have kept with me all this time).

I was taught how to tie knots in bags with no drawstrings, with one hand. I was taught how to use the headsets in almost every drive through as well as how to use the registers. I also got some food experience that I still have, was never able to use. I was quickly made fun of by some other coworkers and shift leads for being "OCD" (Which I am not, I just like being somewhat organized so on days I don't feel like it I can feel better I did it another day). I was often yelled at for "not listening," which wasn't my fault it was either hard to hear because I can't block out background noise or they were talking too quietly or too loudly.

I had been written up for being "insubordinate" when I was explaining to a manager what a waste of time it would be to mop the floors within 10 minutes of me leaving for the night because I couldn't stay later. That same manager was the worst to me and would single me out and instead of giving me positive reinforcement(which is what I need to continue doing a good job) she would constantly say I need to be better, faster, if (someone who has been there longer than me and cheats around his job) can do it faster I can do it faster. I got so pressed for time that I spilled a whole mop bucket with dirty water across the floor and had to clean it up before someone slipped, so it took me 30 minutes of doing that.

My managers were constantly bickering over me and how I do my job, the store manager would be calling our "mother"(grandmom) to ask why I do something or why I can't do something. I went home crying half the year I worked there because I hated that one manager because she was so contradicting of herself, doing what she was trained to do and not what we were trained to do. Expected of us stuff we did not know about until halfway through the year of working there. I was so torn up about leaving that job early on but decided not to because of one manager. She did end up moving to another store because of her treatment towards who she worked with. Favorites and all.

Anyways that's all for now! Harley clockin' out!