#and whatever one piece is i could easily see luffy 'using' or 'exchanging' it for his massive party viva la post enies lobby style

[moonpaw]

ohh ohhhh... luffy's dream is having a massive party

it's both so very luffy but also childish and easy for someone to laugh at

[charlottepuddingsama]

Taste of Her Own Medicine

I wrote a zosan fic; come read it (Ao3 link in the reblog)

Description: Zoro is running late to a meeting with Sanji. When he finally gets there Sanji is swooning over the ex that crushed his heart while she peacocks and shows off her new boyfriend. People like that really pissed Zoro off.

Zoro checked his watch again. God damnit, he was late. Again. Which meant Sanji was going to kill him for it. Again. He couldn’t even pin this on Sanji this time, either, because Zoro was the one to suggest they meet at the fountain. To be fair, when he suggested it he’d been sure that he in-fact knew the way to the fountain. When he reached where it should have been, however, it inexplicably wasn’t there.

Now he’s rushing halfway across town to get to where it apparently actually is, if his phone’s map could be trusted (Zoro did not trust his phone’s map, sure that it was constantly sending him on the slowest, stupidest route possible. He was definitely always better off just going his own way). At least the exercise was warming him up, the sun yet to burn off the late spring morning’s chill.

He was only twenty minutes late, maybe Sanji would let him off easy for once? Zoro sighed inwardly, knowing that would never happen. It was going to be stupid to be yelled at about this, too, since they weren’t even doing anything where timing was all that important. They were just trying to find good birthday presents for Luffy. Zoro was kind of hopeless at presents while Sanji was always amazing at them, always picking out something thoughtful and custom-tailored to the recipient. Zoro most often showed up with an amazon gift card feeling completely stupid about it. Knowing this, Zoro had stealthily suggested they go hunting together so they didn’t, “buy him the same thing.” As if Zoro would ever give as good of a gift as Sanji would. He was actually surprised Sanji hadn’t seen right through him and refused, but the other had actually more-or-less readily accepted the idea. Zoro supposed there was a first time for everything.

The first time for Zoro to not make himself late, however, was not today.

After some wrong turns and two dead ends that might have actually been the same dead end twice, Zoro finally, finally saw the large fountain that marked the beginning of the city park come into view. He slowed his jog to a walk, glad he hadn’t yet broken a sweat. Couldn’t let Sanji think he actually cared about keeping their appointment. Not that it mattered what the cook thought, of course, but if he thought Zoro cared he might somehow get an even bigger head than he already had. Not that Zoro actually cared in the first place, too, of course. He hadn’t been looking forward to spending a whole day shopping with Sanji even a little. Not at all.

Zoro looked around the paved area, searching for Sanji amongst the small crowd mingling by the fountain. The day was still a bit crisp from the morning, but that didn’t seem to dissuade people as they gathered around the mouth of the park. Some were alone, some in groups, and others towed animals on leashes either walking the pets or clearly getting walked by them. Zoro surveyed the whole crowd, looking for Sanji standing off by himself, probably bent agitatedly over his phone with a cigarette in his mouth. None of the loners in the area fit his description though.

Had Zoro somehow actually made it here first after all? That didn’t seem even a little bit likely. He kept looking.

Finally, after a long moment of searching, he managed to spot him. A familiar head of blonde hair, a neat dress shirt, and long legs stood by the side of the fountain striking an impossible-to-mistake silhouette.

He wasn’t alone, though.

In front Sanji was an unfamiliar couple: some brunette girl holding the hand of an average looking boy. Was Sanji hitting on a stranger while her boyfriend was literally right there? Really?

Zoro’s face morphed into an unimpressed look. How classic. He really had no idea what he was expecting, offering to take Sanji around in public where he might run into females in the wild. A strong feeling of annoyance grew in his chest at just imagining the stupid drivel that must be spewing out of that mouth of his.

Zoro began to march over there with intentions to drag Sanji away by the ear when he suddenly stopped himself in his own tracks. His brows furrowed, studying the way Sanji was standing. His entire posture was eerily off. One hand was in his pocket while the other held a lit cigarette. His shoulders were tight and a little high, legs slightly farther apart than normal as if on defense. There was absolutely none of the easy oozing he exuded whenever he normally was chatting up some girl. He wasn’t swooning even a little.

Something was wrong. Something was very, very wrong.

A thrum of worry pulsed through Zoro. It wasn’t that he was worried about Sanji – he could take care of himself, plus, Zoro reminded himself, he didn’t give a fuck about him (how does he keep forgetting that?). Rather, he was worried about what kind of threat these two people could possibly pose to get someone as cool-headed as Sanji so visibly tense.

Looking at the two, he knew he couldn’t place the boy, but the brunette… did he know her? Her face was rather indistinct, no particular piece of it sticking out to him. Her clothes looked well-pressed, and they were probably fashionable, not that Zoro had any real frame of reference for that. Her brown hair was half tied up in two little buns on her head, the rest left to fall down past her shoulders. She just seemed like a completely random, normal person; an auto-generation of any other girl about their age in the city.

Then the girl laughed at something. The sound was shrill and obnoxious in a way that grated on every nerve Zoro had. He wanted to absolutely break something.

Oh. Oh. Ohhhh. Zoro knew exactlywho this girl was. He scowled at the memory.

She was some chick Sanji had dated for a while, maybe a couple months? A name itched at the tip of his tongue, but he couldn’t quite grasp it. Two months was considerably longer than most of Sanji’s little trysts. He had even brought her around to meet everyone once; it was kind of a big deal since they’re friends are not only their family, but also extremely likely to scare any normal person away. Sanji had really, really actually liked this girl, Zoro was pretty sure.

And then she dumped him.

She’d reportedly done it unceremoniously one night, completely out of the blue. She simply told Sanji that she was, “done with this relationship now,” and left. Zoro had heard that line a hundred times over in the weeks following as Sanji wallowed pitifully, hit hard by the sudden cold shoulder. It had not been a pretty sight in the slightest. The ever-enamored cook had eventually bounced back, like he always did, but it really had taken longer than usual. Even Zoro had felt sorry for the guy at the time.

And now here she was. A completely random encounter in a city filled with a thousand other people that could be here instead. And she had the nerve to do, what? Strike up a casual conversation with someone she herself had so soundly dumped, some new boy in her tow? Inching closer, Zoro just barely started to be able to hear them. It was clear even just from her tone that the words exchanged were more than awkward hellos. The girl was gushing about her boyfriend the businessman, annunciating the words as if she wanted the whole park to turn and listen. She played with some expensive looking necklace in a way that was definitely supposed to be noticed, certainly some token from her little purse-mule of a boy.

That kind of thing really pissed Zoro off. Dump someone for no reason? Fine, whatever. But then go shoving yourself at him? In public and at random? She had to know how Sanji was physically incapable of being anything but overly polite to women, abusing that to get her kicks. Zoro grit his teeth as he watched Sanji gush at her that she looked as beautiful as always, that he simply adored how her hair grew out since he’d last seen her, that he was so happy she was so well taken care of. Underneath the gushing Zoro could practically feel how upset this whole encounter made Sanji, a self-pitying tone sewn into each sentence. It was like he was a slave to his own actions. The girl clearly let her ego be boosted by his attention and that made Zoro even angrier.

Zoro eyed the boy she had tugged along. He may have been some business guy or whatever, but he certainly didn’t look very impressive. His haircut was basic, his jacket was a bit too big and made him look like he was playing dress up, and his expression seemed far away as if zoned out. Zoro had him beat in muscle and looks easily. Zoro’s shirt was tight against his well-built chest, his jeans were slung low to show just a peak of his boxers, he’d have a healthy little glow from his jogging, and he raked a hand through his hair to give it a little volume. He was fully aware of exactly how good he looked in comparison and just pissed off enough to decide he might as well use it.

He wanted to see if little miss ex could handle a taste of her own medicine.

“Oi, Sanji,” he called, finally making his way to the trio. Sanji’s shoulders jumped to his ears. Zoro thought he looked like an animal frozen in crosshairs, waiting for its instincts to lead it to fight or flee. He turned slowly to look at Zoro, his face in a very un-handsome expression of combined panic and agitation.

Zoro fought his instinct to give just as nasty an expression back knowing he was now being watched by the brunette; his little show had now officially begun. Instead, he gave Sanji an easy smile as he sauntered over to him, eyes only on him, pretending to not even notice the couple right in front of them. This, of course, only lead to Sanji scrunching up his face in incredulous confusion. If this idea was going to work Zoro was going to have to wipe that look right off him.

When he was beside him, Zoro slung an arm around Sanji’s shoulder, letting himself drape over the other. Sanji was only one centimeter shorter than him and just as strong, so it always surprised Zoro just a bit how slight his naturally thin frame felt in his arms. A small, stupid rush of protectiveness briefly filled his chest and for once Zoro indulged it letting himself draw Sanji close to him. Sanji went stiff as a board and his eyes blew open in surprise. Zoro took advantage of his surprise, not letting him even think about getting a kick in as he reached out with his other hand to grab hold of Sanji’s stubbled chin.

He drew the other in for a quick, soft kiss.

The sharp scent of tobacco filled Zoro’s senses, but underneath it lied the familiar aroma of spices that followed Sanji everywhere he went. The scent was familiar, but the feel of Sanji’s lips against his was new. For all the times he’d bitten a mark into Sanji’s pale flesh, nipping along skin usually hidden later by shirts, Zoro couldn’t actually remember them kissing. If they ever had, they certainly would never do it as gently as this. He counted to ten in his head, wanting the kiss to look real while still public-appropriate.

Zoro was perfectly prepared for Sanji to remain like cardboard, perfectly fine carrying the kiss by himself. Suddenly, though, as if some sort of switch had gone off, Sanji softened, easing into Zoro’s hold like butter into warm bread.

All at once Sanji’s plush lips gently pressed back, allowing his weight to fall where Zoro’s arms had guided it. The count in Zoro’s head faltered for a second, mind going dumb from shock. Zoro had kissed plenty of people before, was a damn good kisser himself, but somehow nothing had ever felt like this. There was something in the way Sanji relaxed into him, how perfectly their lips slotted together, and the sensory of the strong scents and rough stubble and pillowy softness of lips. It all made even such a simple kiss simply intoxicating. Had they really never done this before? Why the hell not?

At ten (or was it eleven? Twelve?) Zoro drew his head back, ending their kiss with the soft sound of lips parting. He didn’t go far, though, hand still on the other’s chin, their breath mixing in the space between them. He opened his eyes, not knowing when he’d closed them, to find Sanji staring at him with a dazed expression and a gentle, pink blush spread across his cheeks. Zoro couldn’t help but smile, a strange feeling like fondness welling up in his chest. It was probably just hormones, like always, reminding him of the other times he’d made the typically put-together Sanji blush in more heated circumstances. Yeah, that was it, had to be.

“Thanks for waiting,” Zoro said, for once owning up to being late. Sanji blinked owlishly at him, as if trying to place where they were and what they were supposed to be doing. At that cute look something compelled Zoro and he made no move to stop it, giving a sweet kiss to the bit of forehead poking out from blonde bangs as if in apology.

“Ahem?” an impatient voice said, jarring Zoro back into reality. When had he left? It was like he’d had complete tunnel vision. Now, though, the situation around him came back into sharp focus. The mild chill of the spring air, the bubbling fountain behind him, the obnoxious couple in front of him, the reason why he did what he just did. Yes, right, he’d had a reason for doing that. One, singular, solitary reason and absolutely no other. A mission, even. Right.

Zoro dropped Sanji’s chin, ignoring the tingle in his hand and the definitely non-existent desire to hold him elsewhere. He instead hooked his thumb in one of his belt loops and assumed a pose hanging off of Sanji who was now tucked rather snugly into his side. The girl had her arms crossed and looked huffy. He raised an eyebrow at the two, acting as if they’d been the ones to interrupt him. “Sorry, didn’t see you there,” Zoro said casually, just knowing an egotistical bitch like her would be bothered by that. Sure enough, the girl’s eye twitched just a bit. Zoro held back a smug smile at getting a reaction so easily. “And you would be?”

Indignation flashed in the girl’s eyes. Had Zoro asked that rudely? Oh, pardon him. She stood herself up to look taller, as if looking down on him despite being a few inches shorter. Zoro refused to be phased.

“I’m Alice,” the girl introduced herself, not bothering to introduce the boy with her. It was probably for the best as the boy’s eyes had followed Zoro’s thumb down to where it rested, clearly distracted.

“I’m sure Sanji has told you all about me,” she added with fake sweetness, an almost sadistic smile crawling up her face. Alice, right. Alice was definitely the name Sanji wailed into his empty wine glass when Zoro and the others had tried to take him out on a boys’ night to cheer him up. He actually used to kind of like that name, but now it was forever tainted with the memory of this haughty cunt in front of him.

Instead of admitting to the recollection, though, Zoro looked at her blankly. “Alice…” he said, as if mulling the name over. As if he needed to search long and hard to find any semblance of someone in Sanji’s past named Alice. “Hm,” he said at length, “no… I don’t really remember having heard about someone by that name. Have you ever mentioned an Alice, babe?”

Despite addressing him, Zoro didn’t dare look at Sanji’s face. Even just the hint of doubt or disbelief or anger from Sanji might be enough to shake Zoro off his game and have this all come crashing down more humiliating than when they’d started.

He looked at Alice, instead, who looked at him like he’d grown a second head. The very concept that Sanji might not have cried his heart out about her every day since their parting was clearly a new one. It made Zoro so happy to have so suddenly shut her down with just a few words.

“Hold on! W-we’ve met before!” Alice protested, apparently recognizing him now. Zoro noted that she didn’t wait for Sanji to confirm or deny if he’d ever deigned to mention her once their relationship had ended. Zoro wondered if she was scared to know. Hearing something like that from the man himself might just shake her precious little ego. Zoro would love to see that happen.

“Oh, we have?” Zoro asked mildly, showing a clear disinterest in whether they had or not. He pretended to mull the concept over in his head just as he had her name. He certainly remembered the party Sanji had brought her to. He remembered that it had sucked because her laugh was too annoying to ignore even from across the room and cross-eyed drunk. Finally, he shrugged simply, clearly not caring one way or another. “Guess it just wasn’t very memorable.”

At that Alice looked absolutely stricken, an arrow piercing directly into her pride. Bullseye, Zoro thought to himself, narrowly remembering to keep his face schooled. He so badly wanted to give her the same wolfish grin he reserved for his enemies at tournaments, but his own internal satisfaction would have to suffice.

In his peripheral, Zoro saw Sanji take a long drag off his cigarette. Hopefully that meant he was willing to quietly play along. Possibly it meant he thought Zoro had genuinely forgotten about her and that he was about to get pummeled into a paste in about five seconds.

“S-So then, you two? You’re together then?” Alice asked, clearly affronted and looking for something to refill her sails. Zoro wondered if she was beginning to consider him her replacement. He wondered how he measured up.

Suddenly, though, she seemed then to get herself a second wind, puffing herself up in her coat. Zoro refrained from frowning, if just barely. And here he’d been winning.

“It’s so adorable to see new couples, isn’t it Darek, sweetie?” she said sweetly, grabbing on to her boy’s sleeve. The boy in question nodded absentmindedly, eyes locked on where Zoro was oh-so-incidentally toying at the waistband of his boxers with his thumb. A charming one, wasn’t he? “We’ve been together for four months now. It’s just so hard to find the one you’re truly meant to be with, but so rewarding to know they’re all yours. How long has your cute little thing been going on for?”

So she was considering him to be her replacement. Moreover, it seemed clear that if that were the case, he’d be the winner. This was her alternative hypothesis, the situation that would set the world just a little bit more right than it was right then. If their relationship was new she could brush it all off as certain to be doomed in a week or two, as so many new relationship were. Well, he’d better set her little worries to rest, now shouldn’t he?

“This little love bug,” Zoro said, pressing a sweet kiss to Sanji’s cheek, forcibly holding the other’s shoulder’s down when they jumped, “Has been all mine since August.” Would he most likely be paying for “love bug” with his very life later? Yes, yes he would. But it was so, so very worth it to see Alice’s face as she did the math. Zoro distinctly recalled The Wailing Remembrance of Alice having begun in that hot and muggy summer month. Logically, then, that made Zoro one hell of a rebound, and one that stuck quite nicely, too.

Alice was clearly taken aback, her refilled sails deflating again catastrophically. The cutesie pda, Zoro’s complete disinterest in with her, and the dawning evidence that maybe Sanji hadn’t been so hopelessly lost without her was doing exactly the job Zoro had hoped it would.

“B-but I thought you two hated each other!” She cried, looking between the two and sounding a bit desperate, “That you couldn’t stand in the same room without arguing!”

She, of course, had seen firsthand at the party the animosity between the two. She also had probably had to sit through at least a couple sessions of Sanji bitching about whatever thing Zoro had done to purposefully annoy him. Well, Zoro figured, you know what they say: when in doubt, gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss.

“Oh?” Zoro said, cocking his head to the side, “Why do you say that?” He said it as if she was insane, as if she hadn’t seen their fights herself, as if they weren’t literally known for their arguments with each other. He said it like it was completely and entirely natural for them to be like this now. It helped that Sanji hadn’t moved an inch, hadn’t given a single physical sign that this wasn’t exactly what they usually did. He made it seem like he was perfectly comfortable being held close to Zoro’s chest. That it was where he belonged.

They had even, in fact, gone a whole five minutes without arguing.

Alice’s mouth opened and closed for a minute, her mind clearly trying to calculate and recalculate this encounter, but the numbers just didn’t seem to be adding up in her favor. Zoro almost pitied her, except that she had very much started it and brought all this upon herself.

Finally, she looked to her boy as if for some sort of support. All she found was that his attention was firmly on Zoro’s chest, eating up the eye candy readily. He even went as far as to lick his lips.

“Darek!” Alice scolded under her breath, scandalized, slapping his chest for attention.

“Ow!” Darek said, shocked out of whatever daydream he’d been having.

Zoro finally let himself give a toothy smile. He considered his damage officially done. Alice had clearly been knocked down a peg or two, and her little walking-wallet of a boyfriend had been reduced from oh-so successful businessman to just another ogler looking for the next pretty thing. This was a resounding victory.

Now for a victorious escape out of this situation as fast as possible.

“Come on, babe,” Zoro said, turning his head to nuzzle into Sanji’s hair. How did he always forget just how soft those golden strands were? “I’ve made you wait long enough. I owe you a date.”

Zoro smiled into the last sentence, making it sound like their “date” was the only thing on his mind. Like he’d been thinking all week long about getting to see the other, the thought being his lone reason to keep going day after day. Which couldn’t be farther from the truth, obviously. There had been absolutely zero percent of him that had put any emphasis on this little outing even once this past week. He hadn’t done laundry for the express purpose of having something he liked to wear, he hadn’t trimmed up his sideburns and played with different hair products all week, and he definitely was not currently wearing cologne. The smile was simply an affectation of the truth, just for the sake of the ruse. That’s it.

Before anyone had time to say anything more, Zoro gently ushered Sanji to turn away from the other couple. To his relief, Sanji went willingly.

“W-wha-hey! Wait a minute!” Alice blustered, stomping a foot.

“It was nice meeting you,” Zoro said, not even looking back at her, just waving his free hand slightly.

“I told you, we already met!” she fumed, but Zoro paid it absolutely no mind. He grinned like an absolute shark, amazed he was getting away with this.

“Wait!” She yelled again.

Then, she played dirty.

“Sanji,” she said, a whimper in her voice.

Sanji stopped dead in his tracks. Zoro did too, not wanting to have to actually drag the other. He closed his eyes and cursed in his head. They had been so close.

Sanji took a long drag off his cigarette. As he sucked in, the moment seemed to stretch out, becoming longer than it was before. Finally, he blew a long exhale, smoke leaving his mouth fluidly. He tapped the ash off the end of his cigarette, dropped it to the pavement, and ground it out with his toe.

Zoro didn’t look at his face. He didn’t want to see even an ounce of hurt from such a stupid, shallow, nobody of a girl. It was so ridiculous for someone like that to make someone like Sanji feel anything at all, let alone pain. It made bile rise in Zoro’s throat and blood rush in his ears, but he kept his cool. He’d tried his rescue strategy. This was now nothing but Sanji’s fight.

Sanji turned his head over their shoulders. Zoro expected whimpering or pitiful noises, or maybe simply his standard gushing. Assurances that Alice still lived in his heart, that she always would. He’d tell her that she was the most beautiful girl in the world, that nobody could compare, that he would never want anyone else more than he wanted her. Zoro felt an unusual nausea in his gut.

“It was good to see you, Alice!” Sanji called brightly, his tone clear of any whining or gooeyness, much to Zoro’s surprise. No hurt? No presentation of wounds? No flattery? No begging?

“I’m glad you’re doing well.” Zoro was nearly in shock; Sanji sounded completely genuine. Did he… get over her? Just now? In this moment?

He hazarded a look at Sanji’s face and found a brilliantly beaming smile that reached his clear blue eyes. It was a smile that could put a thousand suns to shame, a smile that could launch a thousand ships, a smile worth the world over in gold and then some. Somehow, Sanji was really, truly happy.

Something inside Zoro absolutely melted and something else bloomed warm in his chest.

Before Zoro could even start to think about processing that, Sanji turned to him, and he was simply lost. For a brief second that stretched into minutes, days, years even, nothing else existed but him and Sanji and Sanji’s blue eyes shining back at him. He wanted nothing more than to kiss the beautiful man in front of him.

Then Sanji spoke, and Zoro forced himself out of that moment. Back to reality. Again, when had he left? He couldn’t recall.

“Come on, then, dearest,” Sanji jeered, his eyes now gleaming mischievously and smile saccharine sweet as he prodded. Zoro cognitively knew that he was always annoyed by that expression yet couldn’t seem to summon up the actual feeling of being annoyed. “I believe you promised me shopping?” Zoro felt a hand slip into the far back pocket of his jeans.

Now they really did look like a disgustingly lovey-dovey honeymoon-stage couple out for a date. Sanji gave his ass a teasing squeeze, snickering as Zoro felt his whole face grow red hot. Who had initiated the touching again? It couldn’t possibly have been him. This was far too intimate for him to have started, surely.

Zoro gulped heavily and remembered that he had a part to play here. He once again ushered them forward down the street. The last thing he heard from the girl – her name already returning to a blank spot in Zoro’s mind – was her yelling at her boyfriend to get his jaw off the ground and stop drooling already.

Zoro let Sanji lead them down a couple blocks, dazed and distracted. During the whole encounter he’d kept himself perfectly calm, but now that it was over his heart was beating hard in his chest. He replayed the whole scene in his head, impossibly surprised that it actually worked. How in the hell had it actually worked? How had they passed so easily for an actual couple?

Zoro was still wondering at how miraculous their success was when Sanji broke his concentration.

“Hey, Zoro,” Sanji said, casually as can be, leading them down some sort of alley between buildings.

“Yeah?” Zoro grunted, freshly shaken from his thoughts.

“Could you do me a favor?”

“What do you want, shit cook?”

“Well, would you mind ever so terribly-“ Suddenly, a foot came flying at his face and Zoro was too startled to block it in time, “-GETTING YOUR BIG, DUMB GORILLA HANDS OFF OF ME!”

Zoro went flying into the wall of the alley, back hitting with a sharp snap of pain. He was fine, though, nothing he couldn’t brush off.

“What the hell was that for?” Zoro scowled. He peaked at the wall behind him; the brick was only cracked a little, just barely resembling the outline of a person. Nothing identifying, so it was fine.

“Don’t fucking touch me,” Sanji sneered, adjusting the collar of his button-up and dusting off his pants as if the mere presence of Zoro in his bubble was sullying.

“Heh, I can think of a few times you’ve liked me touching you just fine,” Zoro retorted, wiggling his brows suggestively.

“You’re such a pervert,” Sanji said with disgust.

“You’re one to talk, love cook, swooning after a girl with her boyfriend literally right next to her.” Zoro swiped his thumb under his nose, checking for blood and finding none. Nothing seemed broken, that was good.

“Hey!” Sanji protested, looking angry. Had Zoro gone to far with bringing it up already? He knew the situation wasn’t exactly typical. Still, the whole thing still kind of pissed him off, so why shouldn’t he talk about it? “I didn’t ask for your help back there!”

“Oh?” Zoro asked, a smirk coming to his face, “So you admit that what I did was helpful?”

Sanji’s face grew red, frustration and agitation clear. “Oh, go die in a hole, you moron.”

“Whatever,” Zoro shrugged, putting his hands in his pockets, and leaning against the cracked brick coolly, “I was just pissed off, that’s all.”

“You?” Sanji asked condescendingly, “What the hell did you have to be pissed off about?”

“Don’t like that girl, is all,” Zoro answered plainly, closing his eyes as he relaxed, his heart rate finally dropping back to normal after all the excitement. The physical distance from Sanji and the sting of pain had broken his strange headspace. He was feeling like his usual self again, now. No weird, overly emotional thoughts swirling around. “Didn’t like her when you talked about her, didn’t like her when you brought her around, and I didn’t like her when I saw her just now, either.”

Zoro could feel Sanji study him for a moment, as if trying to decide if he bought that. “And what exactly has she done to you to make you hate her so much?”

Zoro huffed, rather done with the interrogation despite it hardly having begun. “I just can’t stand her attitude, that’s all. She’s so holier-than-thou, and then goes around parading herself like she’s the best thing since sliced bread.” The nerve of that girl, honestly. Zoro worked up a little mucus in his mouth and spit at the ground. “She thinks she can just waltz around hurting people to make herself feel better. Pisses me off.”

“Hey, you can’t say that about a beautiful lady!”

“Oh, piss off,” Zoro said, rolling his eyes, “First of all as far as I could tell she wasn’t even that good looking, average at best.” He will fully admit to his radar being finely attuned to men only, though, so maybe he’s wrong, but she really didn’t seem like anything special to him. “And secondly you never would have taken that kind of crap from a guy. You would have kicked him to the moon and back the second he tried that shit. But with her, and every other woman ever, you let her walk all over you. Not exactly a good idea when the girl’s a grade-A bitch.”

They stood there in that alley for a long moment, Sanji just watching Zoro and Zoro just watching him back. They both knew he was right.

“Tch,” Sanji spat at length, “I was raised a ladies’ man, and that’s just how it is.” Zoro knew that, too. This wouldn’t change anything. He doesn’t know how it happened, but somehow that behavior just got hard coded into Sanji. It was fine except that it was annoying and opened him up so easily to those who would misuse his kindness. There weren’t many of Sanji’s exes that Zoro didn’t outright hate, now that he thought about it, and certainly none that he properly liked. Maybe that was why.

“And anyway,” Sanji cut in, breaking Zoro’s wandering thoughts, “Why the hell do you care how I’m treated anyway?”

What? Did he say that? No way he’d said that. “I don’t!” He didn’t! Zoro felt his face grow hot, which didn’t make any sense. This was stupid. “I-It’s just the principal of the matter, is all!”

“Oh really?” Sanji asked, clearly unconvinced.

“Shut the hell up, bastard,” Zoro snapped, now really well and truly done with this whole affair. He took a breath, cooling himself down. Sanji always got him so worked up it was stupid. “Whatever, believe whatever the hell you want, I already told you the truth. She was a cunt and that’s all there is to it.”

The words clearly ticked Sanji off, but that was good, got him distracted from whatever bullshit he was spewing about Zoro caring about him or something. Idiot.

“You know, you could really do with learning some good manners towards ladies.” Sanji scowled.

“Yeah, yeah,” Zoro said, waving off the idea for the billionth time. “Last time I treated a girl any differently she caved my head in with a stick. Won’t be making that mistake twice.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Sanji asked, making a dumb face as if Zoro had said some sort of convoluted metaphor.

“Forget about it,” Zoro dismissed, having not intended to bring Kuina into this. He shoved off the wall and decided it was time to get out of this alley and back to what they came here for.

“Whatever,” Sanji said, rolling his eyes, apparently too done with Zoro to bother to pry.

Zoro walked until he was passing Sanji by, heading toward the mouth of the alley. Sanji stood silently, looking like he was thinking about something.

Just as he passed, Sanji said something quietly, “She really was a bit mean, wasn’t she?”

Zoro stopped there, just in front of the other. He didn’t get it. He didn’t know why Sanji was like this. Why was it so impossibly hard for him to admit when a woman was bad to him? So inconceivable to fight back? It made Zoro so impossibly upset sometimes. But here he was with this one little admittance. This one time this one woman was a bit mean to him. Zoro shouldn’t shoot this down. He couldn’t bring himself to if he wanted.

“Yeah,” Zoro huffed, a bit of a smile playing on his lips with the magnitude of the understatement. “And stupid too,” he added.

“Stupid?” Sanji asked, hackles raised all over again, “What the hell do you mean by that?”

“Sheesh, isn’t it obvious?” Zoro asked, huffing a short laugh through his nose, “First she dates you, which already brands her as an idiot –“

“Hey!”

“- And then she brings around that chump as if he’s supposed to somehow make you jealous. Seriously, as if he’d ever hold a candle to you.” What a joke.

Sanji didn’t say anything to that, and Zoro looked back curiously.

Sanji was just staring at him, eyes a little wide and face dusted pink. “Hah?” Zoro questioned, one eyebrow quirked. “What, did I say something wrong?”

Sanji looked at him for a moment longer, the silence stretching between them yet carrying surprisingly little tension. Finally, Sanji seemed to shake himself out of it. “It’s nothing, moss-for-brains. And get out of my way,” he said, shoving Zoro by the face.

“Hey! Cut it out!” Zoro yelled, shoving Sanji’s hand off his face.

“Ah, deal with it, grass-head,” Sanji said, pulling out a cigarette and his lighter, “Let’s find whatever the hell kind of present Luffy would want already.”

Zoro grumbled but followed along, ready to get this errand over with and the weird events of ten minutes ago behind him. This event would be receiving absolutely no post-facto analysis. There wasn’t a single thought, feeling, or action that needed a second look at or processing time to rectify with his current world view, and he was eager to put it all out of his head.

“And hey,” Sanji said. Zoro sighed inward, sure this was going to be something weird about the thing that just happened, “Thanks.”

Yup. Weird. Weird, weird, weird. It was so weird for Sanji to thank him, he almost hated it. He did hate it. He absolutely definitely hated it. That must be what the rosy feeling in his chest was: hate for how weird it was.

“Yeah, well, you know,” Zoro said, shrugging the whole ordeal off as they did with almost everything that’s happened between them, “Don’t mention it.”

This, as so much else, would be their little secret.

A comfortable silence rested between them as they each took a moment to breathe.

“By the way, are you wearing cologne?”

“IN YOUR DREAMS!”

[tooweirdforyou]

Can I please request platonic straw hats x female teen reader, more specifically with nami & robin, like they would think that she doesn’t like them because she requested to have her own small room and doesn’t really talk to them & is always glued to her books . But she’s just Quiet & keeps to her self. Fluffy ending please & thank you 😊. ( sorry for the long request😅)

The Straw Hats With A Teen! Shipmate Who Keeps To Herself

a/n : hey! Sorry if this is a bit short but I hope you enjoy!! Thanks for requesting! :)

SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG 😭

Summary : the straw hats with a shipmate who’s a teenager and tends to keep to herself, causing them to believe she doesn’t like them.

-

“She’s eating alone again..”

Seeing you walk off into your room, with a tray of Sanji’s food in your hands, through the small window of the kitchen door made the crew sigh.

“We can’t force her to eat with us though, it’s her own decision.” Usopp points out, arms crossing as he ate a piece of meat.

Nami only frowns at Usopp and continues to stare over at the doorway, wondering if you had a problem.

She couldn’t even remember if there was ever a time where you actually sat down WITH the crew to eat, since the day you first joined.

Did you hate them? Then why join? Or were you just that introverted, that you even had asked to have your own room?

Since you were a girl and younger than most of them, the crew agreed to your request but they never thought it’d create a giant wall between you and the others.

In fact, you were so isolated from them since you never did anything with the crew, except maybe fight with them during battles.

For example, you would read, eat, draw, sleep and relax in your room, away from the others. The door was often locked so the others had to knock on the door to check up on you, but even then, they weren’t always let inside.

Robin closes her eyes and thinks back to herself. If she has to admit, you reminded her a bit of her past self. Before she joined the crew, she was always reserved and kept to herself, only occasionally speaking with others.

But was your reason the same as hers back then?

“Maybe she’s just being a normal girl teenager, doing teen things. They are often quiet and keep to themselves right?” Franky suggests, chomping down at his burger with his mini hand.

“Not all teenagers are like that.” Nami scoffs, rolling her eyes as she poked at her food with a fork. A pout could be seen on her lips.

“...but why does she always leave? Do you think she doesn’t like us?” Chopper frowns sadly, eyes just glossing over his plate without touching it.

The group only sat in silence. But everyone had mixed feelings about you.

-

Luffy was concerned and a bit confused by you. He didn’t understand why you stranded off from the group and often did try to talk to you, but he figured it was a girl thing. Maybe you didn’t like the boys?

Zoro was indifferent about it, because as long as you at least fought with the group and was loyal to Luffy, he didn’t mind that you often spend time alone. Hell, he can kinda understand the need to get away from the group for a bit.

Sanji was pretty saddened about it, he hates to not see your cute but rare smiles at times, but he at least has a sense that you enjoy his food since you come back with the tray empty, so he’s glad about that in the very least.

Usopp is also a bit confused and wishes you spend more time with the crew and bond with them, but he respects your decision if you want to be alone. He just wants to be able to get to know you.

Nami is pretty upset, because now that there’s another girl to gossip with, spend time with and bond with through all these chaotic boys, she’s sad that you don’t seem to want to be around any of them and just keep to yourself. Did you really dislike them that much? Did they do something?

Chopper finds it saddening because it seems like you don’t like them. You don’t want to spend time with the crew at all and it’s sad for him because you seem really kind and sweet and he wants to know you more! And if you’re ever sick, he might not be able to help you since you’re in your room a lot.

Franky doesn’t quite get it either. You joined the crew but you don’t even hang out with them, even if it’s to do stupid things? Not even to just do whatever you want on your own, but in the presence of the crew?

Robin is secretly disappointed. She had hoped she could be able to spend time with another female around and perhaps teach you some things since you seem to share her love of books. But she’s understanding in the very least.

Brook both understands and feels indifferent. He can’t force you to spend time with the crew but he does hope to see you warm up and spend some time with the group one day.

-

“It can’t be helped.”

Hearing Robin, the crew all watch as she stood up, finished with her sandwich and tea and make her way over to the door with the gentle smile on her face.

“I’ll go check on her. Maybe it’s time we asked if everything’s alright.” She suggests and the others widen their eyes a bit.

“You’re right. I’ll go with you.” Nami smiles determinely, standing up from her seat and went over to the door as well, standing beside Robin.

“Yohohoho~ good luck!” Brook calls out just before the girls closed the door and walked out.

-

Nami and Robin shared a glance before nodding in unison and Nami knocks against the wooden door.

You were so invested in your book while eating, you didn’t hear the knock at first, until Nami’s voice was followed after.

“[Name]? It’s Nami and Robin. Can we come in?”

Tilting your head at their request, you glance down at your tray of [ Favorite Food ] that Sanji prepared especially for you, and then moved it aside onto your desk.

Closing your book and setting it on the bed in front of you, you stood up and walk over to the door, peeking your head out when you opened it just a crack.

“..What is it?” Your voice was so soft and quiet, they almost didn’t hear you.

Robin simply smiles gently and hums. “Did you finish eating?” She questions and you shake your head. “No.”

Nami smiles awkwardly before clearing her throat. “Actually, we just wanted to talk. Is it okay if we come in?” She says, her hand slowly making it onto the door and you stare at her a bit.

It was just the two of them, but you were hoping to just relax and eat in peace.

Though, knowing Nami, she wasn’t one to give up and you weren’t going to try to argue with her.

So sighing lightly, you pull open the door wide and allowed them entrance, closing it behind them when they came and locked it, as usual.

Walking past them, you went over to the bed and sat down, picking up your book and grab the tray of food onto your lap to finish eating, ignoring their stares that lingered on your form.

“Whatcha reading?”

Glancing at Nami’s bright smile as she made herself comfortable on the edge of your bed, Robin sitting on the other side.

Shifting a bit and repositioning yourself against your headboard and in center to keep a distance from the two, you turn down to the book.

“It’s a novel.. called Heaven’s Official Blessings.”

You answer quietly, turning the page in your novel and then used your hand to pick up a piece of your food.

“That’s the one about the God and the Demon lord, right?” Robin hums and you nod in response. “I haven’t read it myself, but I heard good reviews of it. What’s your opinion on it?”

You shrug a bit. “I don’t know. I didn’t finish.” You answer, motioning to the page you were on which was a little less than halfway.

Robin chuckles and nods. “Fair point.”

“Well, what’s it about?” Nami speaks again, trying to continue the conversation but you just chew on your food and held out the book for her to look at.

Nami blinks a bit before seeing the summary of the novel in the front and shakes her head. “I want to hear you read it.”

Furrowing your brows, you only swallow your food and frown. “Why?” You didn’t prefer talking and you didn’t understand why when she could easily just read the synopsis.

Nami giggles sheepishly before shrugging. “I just wanna hear your voice some more.”

You gave her a weird, skeptical look as you move the now empty try back onto the desk and bookmark the page you were on before closing it in silence.

The room was quiet, Robin’s eyes observing you while Nami’s roamed the room.

“Say... do you hate us, [Name]?”

“..huh?”

Turning serious, Nami turns away and stares around the room a bit more, Robin’s smile slowly fading as her lips turn to a firm line.

“You asked to have your own room.. you never eat nor spend any time with us. Is there a reason for your separation from us? Have we done you a wrong? If so, please tell us so we can fix it.”

Lips parting in shock at their question, your eyes widening along, you just stare at them. You hadn’t even realized you were so.. away from them. You were just doing what you normally do even back in your island, it was just habit.

“[Name]?”

Blinking, you quickly shake your head before calming down a bit, taking a soft breath. “I-I don’t hate you.. You guys didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Then why are you avoiding us?” Nami asks with a sigh, running a hand through her orange locks of hair and brushed it with her fingers.

“..I didn’t realize I was.. I was just enjoying time alone.” You admit honestly, eyes trained on the novel in your hands. “I figured I just read in peace until it was time for Luffy’s new adventure or something.”

“Uh.. besides, I.. I don’t really like hanging out in big groups or anything like that. I’m not very social so I’m not good in that stuff.” You add, rubbing your arm before rubbing the back of your neck awkwardly.

Nami and Robin stare at you, clearly surprised at your answer as they slowly exchanged glances, just seconds before a snort being heard.

Nami then busts out into light laughter, hands clutching her stomach while one went to wipe tears forming. Robin herself was expressing a few amused and relieved giggles, covering them with her hand a bit.

“Is that really all it is?”

“I guess we were worried for nothing.”

The two women smile brightly at you as Nami goes over and hugs you tightly.

“All of us were worried you hated us or something but now we understand! You’re just shy!” Nami grins, nearly asphyxiating you in her chest as you struggle to pull away from her.

“I must say, I am relieved to hear that isn’t the case though. If you’re just someone who prefers to keep to yourself, it’s amazing you somehow managed to continue to stay on this ship.” Robin lightly jokes as you finally pull away from the navigator and inhaled deeply.

“Come on, you. We’re going to spend time with the crew and each other, so you will open more and we can get to know you. Okay?”

Already pulling your hand, you felt yourself get forced up off the bed before you could even protest or reach for your book.

“W-wait, but-“

“No buts!” She turns back to give her signature grin to you. “Unless you wanna pay me to let you back to your room alone, you are now going to spend the rest of the day with us!”

Robin smiles, seeing you being dragged off by their navigator and despite you looking helpless and even a little lost,

She could see the faint ghost of a defeated smile forming on your lips.

Whether it was because you were just in disbelief and accepted your fate, or because you truly did want to spend some time with the crew at some point one day,

Robin was just glad to be able to see you smiling and getting to spend time with the group.

Maybe this will let you be more comfortable and spend time around then even more in the future.

Grabbing your tray from earlier, Robin began to leave the room and closed the door behind her, a soft smile present as she hears the loud commotion from the kitchen.

“Finally a family.”

-

A/N : ahh, I’m so sorry this isn’t as great as I hoped, it wasn’t the ending I originally planned but I wanted to get one post out quickly- and I’m so sorry this took so long ;-;

It’s so rusheddddd

[hellfire-fist]

Appreciation Post for the Future Pirate King and the Future Greatest Swordsman’s bond 🤝

I believe the reason why I love Zoro and Luffy’s relationship so much is because it’s just so pure. From beginning till present, you still see how much they trust eo (and how it just gets stronger by the day), the show of respect for eo’s strength, and how Zoro always know where to get Luffy (If you’ve read the wano arc in the manga you would know what I mean), plus Luffy’s confidence in Zoro is delightful. I love that they don’t need to say much when they’re together and I love how Zoro just understands Luffy so much more than the others that he always seems to know what to say to him. 

I see some people try to downplay this by saying, “the other strawhats would do the same thing”, and yes I would agree, but you really can’t deny the fact that most acts of sacrifice/respect for Luffy is highlighted in Zoro’s character more so than the others. I get that a lot of people in the community likes the idea of equality in terms of the strawhats’ bonds with eo, most of all with Luffy, and I do love that concept as well but then again, Zoro always gets that emphasis. Their are a lot of instances where we see Zoro defend Luffy, but in this case I would refer to that time in Thriller Bark. I honestly think that Oda making Sanji interfere/try to take Zoro’s place as sacrifice was a brilliant choice. I say this because it showed us the difference between Zoro’s sacrifice and Sanji’s. With Zoro, he says his value/worth is on par with Luffy’s, that his dream is almost as big as his captain’s. Zoro throws his swords, which was honestly such a great symbolism for him ultimately sacrificing his dreams which was far more important than his life. On the other hand, Sanji addresses his sacrifice almost casually, and I’m sorry for stating it this way (English is not my native language), but I felt like he just phrased his statement in a “cool way”, I’m not saying it wasn’t worth anything, but the biggest theme in one piece are dreams. In that particular moment, with him saying that he would be “most feared by the marines in the future” as an incentive or as an exchange for Luffy’s head , it just felt very ‘eh’ compared to Zoro offering his dreams you know? but I do like that he tells Zoro, “whatever happened to your dream idiot!”, because it really showed how Sanji cared for him despite them always fighting with eo, and essentially how he cares for everyone in the crew (looking back at this makes me really appreciate Sanji and his arc more than ever). However, you see the difference in approach, Sanji always tries to be chivalrous, and we know his actions does mean a lot. But to him, his life wasn’t worth much, his statement of one day being the man most feared by the marines was quite unusual and a little out of character, but then we have to consider the fact that he likes to one up Zoro, and I’ve always felt that it was his intention here. I also took notice of the fact that Sanji’s statement was more general, he offers his life for everyone, he didn’t separate Luffy from the others. Sanji is a self-sacrificing idiot and honestly we love that for him. On the contrary, with Zoro—his act felt more momentous and substantial. Maybe it’s ‘cause of how he phrased his words, but whenever I try to think about that moment, it just makes me think, “damn, for him to say that...”, ‘cause his character, in terms of notoriety is almost always comparable to Luffy. He is the guy the side characters would think of as the captain they always say, “How can a man like him work for somebody?”. I like to think that this was a way to show us that Zoro wouldn’t have done that so easily or go that far for somebody else. He can give his life away like it’s nothing, yes, but him doing that for Luffy meant more because this was him giving his all away. Not to mention, it’s not just his dream but Kuina’s as well, and we all know how significant Kuina was to him, but he also gave that away. And in comparison to how he states his sacrifice, he really placed a lot of weight in mentioning Luffy. He even the mentions the crew almost as an afterthought, and even then he goes straight back to talking about Luffy again, “there is already no other way to save the crew!...If I can’t even protect my captain’s dream, then whatever ambition I have is nothing but talk!”. There’s also the fact that Sanji wasn’t really asking Kuma to do it, he just tells him to get it over with while standing and trying to act poised, even when his legs were shaking (Sanji best boi 🤧). Zoro, however, begged. He fucking begged and kneeled, and bowed his head, he completely submitted to Kuma in that moment, just so he can get the message across that ‘you can’t take him, take me instead’, this was such a fucking moment because ‘pride be damned, Luffy’s life is worth more than that’. This was without a doubt a moment for both Sanji and Zoro, like Brook then mentions in the next chapter, Sanji had the same resolution as Zoro, but I would say that Zoro’s execution of the whole thing really made the moment more profound and meaningful for me (for me okay), it just felt and meant more to me when I read and see the panel, I could bloody cry. Honestly, I still have a lot to say about this but I think I can stop there (～o￣3￣)～

Why did I elaborate on this particular moment? The answer would be because to me, this was where I really saw how the bond between the two ran so deep. It took me aback and made me emotional in more ways than one. It’s like wbk but not really??? From “I’ll cut you if you get in my way” to “take my life in exchange for his”

ᶻᵒʳᵒ ᵃˡʷᵃʸˢ ᶜᵒⁿᵗʳᵃᵈᶦᶜᵗˢ ʰᶦᵐˢᵉˡᶠ ʷʰᵉⁿ ᶦᵗ ᶜᵒᵐᵉˢ ᵗᵒ ᴸᵘᶠᶠʸ ᴵ ʷᵃⁿᵗ ᵗᵒ ʰᵘᵍ ʰᶦᵐ

Honestly, at this point whatever they have is canon. They are each other’s partner and no one can tell me otherwise. Zoro is the Rayleigh to Luffy’s Roger, period.