#Chapter 1000 was really fucking great

[mrlowell]

I just finished Steel Ball Run and

Aurgh.......

[kacievvbbbb]

God what even do I do with this chapter 😭 but here are some of my thoughts.

SPOILERS FOR CH. 268

- what the fuck

-“Maybe it’s time to try living for someone else” okay the itafushi shippers really won with that one, I can’t lie. But at the same time it feels like Megumi’s always been living his life for someone else specifically Tsumiki. so it kind of feels like the stronger message would have been to decide to live for himself? Kind of how yuuji’s journey went from finding this greater purpose to live and fight to simply just living is okay as well. But that’s just me. Im interested in hearing other people’s take on the situation

- this is from last chapter but I so really like the parallel of yuuji in this fight for his life with Sukuna and Mahito and being so weighed down by everything that he has lost and everything he is still trying to save and then Kugasaki hits that resonance and Yuuji sees that he’s not alone and god something about it always being Nobara and her insanity breaking him from that sorrow and giving him that last push to fight like he's not alone.

- also I do think seeing Nobara’s resonance after having to be the one to break it to itadori that she wasn’t recovering, really solidified that there where things still worth living for.

- I don’t know something about Sukuna finally after all these chapters acknowledging itadori by finally saying his name is so very Sukuna off him. It’s like the inverse of him going into Jogo’s flashing life and telling him he’s strong. This time he’s the one dying and he’s finally acknowledging the boy that killed him. Say what you want about Sukuna but he ain’t no sore fucking loser.

- God how fucking Yuuji Itadori of the whole thing to after everything all the terror and the torture and the pain to still offer Sukuna a chance to live and live better. A chance to not be a slave to his nature to this curse in their blood. God Yuuji what do I even do with you.

- okay so not even a fucking frame of the Hakari/Uraume showdown. Really 😭😭. It looked like things were happening too. With that final parting it looked like they’d reached some kind of understanding and not even a fucking frame. Gege the way your mind works.

- really not even one punch? Not even one gambling shot. I’d have payed good fucking money to see Hakari explaining how a pachinko machine works to a 1000 year old curse servant.

- the little “you’re just lucky is the best compliment for a guy like me” and the “yeah I guess it is” was a great exchange tho. Which is is why I wonder. Really not one fucking frame😭. I wonder if mappa will just ignore this and give them a fight scene anyway like they elongated the Sukuna vs Mahagora fight.

- and now finally, some good fucking food.

- Gojo’s little I killed your daddy note is so funny. What the fuck is wrong with him

- again. What the fuck.

- Nobara being as rude as fucking always god I love her. She is taking no prisoners. Fuck you mean you aren’t weeping at her feet at her return.

-Them trying to do the whole box suprise for Megumi and him catching them in the act is so stupid I actually can’t 😭. They really only have one braincell

- Nobara not giving a single fuck about her mom like what. Also what did she mean by “Special grade authority”

- crazy that they all got face scars now. They’re a matching set.

- I wonder what Yuuji’s talk with gojo was. I wonder what parental figure gojo exposed for him.

- I dunno this chapter making me feel like he might come back. Gojo Satoru just might make a come back.

- I’m glad that atleast after everything it’s gunna end with the three of them. Maybe a little damaged and worse for wear but together and that counts for something.

-lastly…..what the fuck m.

[morningstarwrites]

I have realized that my awkwardness allergy comment the other day may have come off the wrong way, so in an attempt to remedy that I'm gonna list everything that was SO GOOD about the last chapter.

Niffty getting a "disguise". What little description you gave I imagine her twirling in an Alice-style pinafore. Now I wanna draw American McGee Niffty, blue dress and bloody knife. Also the Cherub being so accepting and nice to her? Great.

Emily. Just everything about Emily, I love her. Especially with Lucifer. I adore her being super chill about him fucking up her name and I need more of that in this fandom. EMILY & LUCIFER BONDING!!! And her genuinely calling him beautiful and him not getting it? Ow my fucking heart. Even more when Alastor seems to notice Lucifer doesn't get it and I just imagine him being struck by a hint of jealousy at the compliment, and then immense frustration that Lulu is so clearly oblivious to how lovely he is. Delicious.

Alastor having boosted Lulu's confidence in his wings? Alastor KEEPING THE FEATHER? T^T Also I lose my shit every time you bring something back from previous chapters. Not enough people do that shit in their writing and it is wonderful.

Alastor being absolutely haunted by Angel's little comment lol. All while knowing that Lucifer, while likely aware of the implication, was not at all thinking about it when he did it. This being of Pure Temptation having the most innocent thoughts behind a perceived lewd act is amazing and adorable and I fucking love it.

Them bickering over ice cream because Alastor is a little shit I love how dumb they are.

Angel's FUCKING ACRONYM lmao because he would.

Alastor being comfortable enough overall with Lucifer to be willing to pretend to make out with him in public despite wanting to crawl out of his skin at the concept? iofhihisifoishuoisdh

How goddamn smooth Lucifer is when putting on a performance of seduction. He is THE Original Temptation and I love it. And him still being mindful of Alastor's comfort and not actually kissing him? AAAAAAAAA 1000% better than if he'd actually kissed him this gives me life. Beauty incarnate in words.

Lucifer finding Alastor's anxious-unxperienced-yet-smooth flirtation incredibly hot and then being startled by the thought despite, y'know, everything else that's happened. XD Can't blame him since the number of relationships he's had can be counted on one hand if not one finger, but he's so internally oblivious I cannot.

"Have you been doing this with other people?" Alastor actually being somehow surprised that this millennia-old, gorgeous, adorable eldritch being, known for THE first temptation into sin, fucks? Despite the blatant evidence in Charlie's existence? And being upset about it? And additionally feeling like he needs to know about Lucifer's sexual history for...reasons? Possessive much? XDDDD

And then being stunned silent at the suggestion and likely realization that he is, in fact, jealous, and probably still not knowing why? And Lucifer's oblivious teasing and then absolute confusion and awkwardness when Alastor DOESN'T DENY IT UGH had me kicking and screaming like a teenage girl.

And again, I'm hyper-sensitive to awkward so me being uncomfy isn't unexpected when Lucifer is by nature an awkward little bean. It can be a sign he's being written well! And your writing is so good that I keep coming back and I'm hoping I'm building up a tolerance. That would be good for me. ^^; I look forward to every Friday for this!

Anyway, hope you're having a marvelous day and you know your worth, that worth being AMAZING. okaybai

Aw were you worried? Thank you so much, I appreciate you clarifying your thoughts!

I love Emily, definitely want more of her! And THANK YOU, I have a million references to previous chapters - as I was trying to compile them into my Fun Facts section it just got too long so I couldn't include them all haha.

I'm a romantic so I want their first kiss to be really beautiful and meaningful!! Super thankful for your message. Very sweet of you 🥰

[britcision]

Not gonna lie, we’ve been watching YuYu Hakusho alongside the release of Delicious In Dungeon and uh

It’s been illuminating

Like on the one hand hoooooooboy you can taste the 90s animation techniques (and the Netflix version is somehow more strobey and seizure bait, and they’ve fucked random chunks of audio?? I have the dvds I can prove they’ve fucked around)

On the other hand… yeah, it really, really highlights what people have already been talking about with the Delicious In Dungeon - the pacing issues, especially with going shot for shot from the manga instead of embracing their own medium

Cuz I will stand by YuYu Hakusho being the best anime version of a manga I’ve ever seen. It’s true to the manga, but keeps up the pacing and fleshes things out by leaning more into the side characters, and particularly our audience surrogates, Koenma and George

The fights all pace well because we cut to the people watching them, so it’s not just repetitive punch punch punch shots (although we do get those)

Whereas this week’s episode of DunMeshi in particular…. Really suffered from skewed pacing on that fight

They had way too much time just standing around talking, both with the harpies and in between Falin’s attacks, and I’d bet even an anime-only fan could pick out which shots were literal panels in the anime because nothing moved to flow between them

Those shots of the separated groups especially; this is anime, not manga. Those people could have been moving, interacting, doing things instead of panning over a still

I get that it takes more time and money but this was a really significant fight and it does make me worry a little for season 2, because the red dragon fight also had some pacing problems (although to a much lesser degree) and season 2 is when the combat pops off

I really do appreciate them wanting to do a faithful interpretation of the manga and sticking close to Ryoko Kui’s vision, but anime is its own medium and by sticking too closely they’re not taking full advantage of that medium

You have more time to fill in an animated episode vs a manga chapter because your characters literally move and flow, and three panels of action happen in a second

They’ve been folding two or three chapters into each episode, but this week’s especially (ep 17) really played too close to that two chapter timeline, instead of taking out the important story beats and the time to fill and working out how to pace around that instead

(Funnily enough though, they actually nailed the exact same kinda pacing issue in the exact same episode for the Laios and Shuro fight; that one was fucking great, it was clear that action was ongoing even while we focused on other people, and it had good weight and emphasis despite being largely offscreen, just like the harpy fight should have been

I. Guess. They coulda put more work into that than the Falin fight? Cuz it’s a huge character moment but for fuck’s sake Chimera!Falin SHOULD be the bigger one! We the audience got hints but this was the REVEAL)

Honestly just… the 1000% disinterest in the harpy fight was jarring, and it leading immediately into the Falin fight that was basically stop motion without the time lapse didn’t help

Cutting to Marcille and Shuro on the shirt tear was fucking great though, chef’s kiss, someone out there is still watching over us, I just hope they work out a happy medium soon

I get that there’s lots of iconic and fantastic panels in the manga, I made a complete summary of every single chapter, but the anime shouldn’t be showing them as stills

The characters should be moving in between them, not snapping from one face to the next like a slide show

In a perfect world I’d also love some more little character asides and things a la YYH, but there just isn’t the same easy audience characters to cut to

But but but

Thistle reacting a la Koenma to some snippets of the bullshit in his dungeon would give me fucking LIFE he can’t be watching all the time for obvious plot reasons but I want him to find a veggie golem

I want him to see the kraken and find some leftovers and be searching for Delgal and plotting their dinner and wondering why he can smell something delicious and what is it and can he make that

Move the background stuff that got cut from the Tances’ episodes, cut to Namari and the twins hanging out and talking about leg guards, there’s SO MUCH supplemental material

It might be less one for one to the manga but it’d stop the weird dragging out and give us something more, something extra to appreciate the anime on its own merits

It’s nice to have an anime experience that is very close to reading the manga, but it’s something really special to have the anime shine and add to the experience on its own

Anyway next week is the shapeshifter and I’m so hype for that and wondering if they are gonna include just a smidge of meta knowledge since Kui did tell us whose impersonations are whose 👀

[serve-cunt]

HI!!! okay so I’m only three chapters into so what are you waiting for and having a great Sunday morning tbh!!! Im gonna get more tea and crack on but please!! Tell me more about sincaraz f1 drivers who “might be fucking” I’d love to hear the lowdown!!!

AHH I'm so glad you're enjoying!!! it's crazy how that fic took over my life for a good five months, I secretly sometimes still watch tennis and wonder where oscar is LOLL any w a y ....

[[okay hi again @bakingblues I had to private this briefly because I SOO did not answer your question but I have edited in my answer for f1 driver headcanons. I'm going to pretend that I wrote everything with that in mind in the first place lmao here we goOOoooo.... ]]

to answer your wonderful question I feel like some irl sincaraz context might be nice! ;) so let me start there! ;)) I love to completely read asks and not make assumptions!!! ;)))))

SO!! sincaraz. the main players are: carlos alcaraz, 21, spanish, SUUUPER smiley, baby-faced beautiful muscular delight of a human

and jannik sinner, 22, italian, carrot-topped stoic-faced bambi-legged carrot-cult runner

they are both next-gen (new gen??) tennis players, i.e. coming after the era of the "Big Three" — Nadal, Federer, and Djokovic. Carlos was an immediate and breathtaking wunderkind, ranked in the top 35 male players by 18 and beat both Nadal and Djoko at a masters 1000 (his second masters 1000 title) in 2022 like. three days after his 19th birthday. already wild!! THEN he goes on to win the US Open same year!! he finishes 2022 the youngest ever no. 1 ranked ATP player and goes on to win a bunch more titles in 2023 including Wimbledon where he beats Djokovic in a fucking inCREDible match (I watched 30 minutes of that in the pouring rain and then had to escape to a cafe where I made them turn on the tv and had the best day of my life lmao)

carlos initially appears to be very much of the max verstappen mold, i.e. a nerd, fairly single-minded, incredibly talented, seemingly breaking the rules of physics at times. basically by the end of 2023 he's the Guy To Beat, plus everyone loves to watch him ... he's got style and variety and power and he LOVES the game, he smiles the whole time, he has FUN, he's just!! a joy to watch!! he's the elephant in the room at every tournament, he's the "future of tennis," and nobody can talk about anybody else.

Except Carlos.

Because Carlos talks about Jannik.

It's very funny that carlos talks about jannik so much at this point!! like, it's a point of discussion how many times carlos brings jannik up in conversation. very much 'hyping my friend up' vibes. 'oops talked about my crush again' vibes. because Jannik is sort of .. following? carlos at this moment? He's doing well, but he's a year older and only starting to get to the same level of matches as carlos, even as carlos does it himself. (there's a funny clip of jannik making it to the semifinals at wimbledon and the on-court interviewer says: "youngest to do it since 2007!" and jannik says, "yeah but carlos..." and sure enough carlos immediately went on to steal that honor and, in fact, win the tournament lmao)

and also people just aren't talking about jannik in the same way! his tennis isn't as immediately interesting to watch as carlos's because he doesn't come to the net as much, he likes to play from the baseline. also he isn't as reliable as he should be, esp on serve, for somebody not taking those alcaraz-esque risks up the court. but— when he's on he's ON: super clean strokes, super powerful, and he has really excellent movement for somebody so tall. beautiful, dependable backhand. Still, not everyone is like. entranced by jannik in the way they are by carlos. i remember listening to a Tennis Podcast episode as jannik was starting to get serious momentum through the top of the atp rankings and be considered a real next-gen challenge for carlos (for reasons I'll get to) but otherwise kind of flying under the radar, and one of them (Catherine lol) said something along the lines of "I don't really see what other people are seeing in sinner, he leaves me cold, I just don't really like watching him". (Which is SO funny to me. I saw one sinner match in 2021 (miami) and thought "this guy's MINE" lmao)

BUT! by the end of 2023 jannik actually has a winning head-to-head with carlos which is unusual enough to remark on, ALSO, they have a series of incredibly interesting and thrilling matches under their belts.

They meet for the first time in 2021 in Paris, (well on the atp tour anyway. they also met in this challenger match, they're 15 and 17 respectively and so cute and dorky). in paris the match is great, they both seem to have fun, but what's really lovely (and important for The Lore) is that after the match —which Carlos wins— Jannik leans in real close and intimate and says: "I hope we play some more" and Carlos gets uhh. SO supremely happy about it. in his on court interview he says "we will both be in the top" which!! prescient...

From that 2021 meeting they go on to have banger match after banger match, namely the quarterfinals at the US Open in 2022 (which Carlos won) and an insane Indian Wells match in 2023 (which Jannik won). what's really special is that you can see how push-and-pull they are with each other: they learn from each other, they play their best against each other, jannik's tennis is more interesting against carlos, carlos is really tested with his movement against jannik, like he can't just run him around. THIS is why carlos can't shut up about jannik. they play CRAZY tennis against each other, and both of them have FUN. guaranteed good match-up, everyone rooting it for it in every tournament. so even though people aren't talking about JANNIK in the same way as they're talking about carlos, they're definitely talking about the combination they make on court. As is. Carlos. :)))

so if you're delusional like me this is when you start to think about the Shipping Narrative ... like.... look at this....

LOOK AT THAT DOUBLETAKE. insane... and the rivalry they have going at this point... carlos's obsession with jannik ... jannik still trying to measure up to carlos... I mean!! think of the potential ! they are talked about in relation with each other at ALL times (if people aren't talking about carlos v djoko, anyway) and they are nothing but sweet about it.

they're also so cute TT_TT the brain rot begins ... the ship name is formed ... sincaraz is here to stay

okay. So. at the end of 2023 jannik goes through a life changing experience.

he pukes in a bin.

this happens in beijing in Oct 2023, in a match he played against grigor dimitrov. he's looking BAD all match, clearly unwell, and then during one of the changeovers he asks for a bin to be brought out and uh. well. see above

he stands back up, looks a lot better, goes on to win the match and then immediately goes on an INSANE run of victories. this tweet pretty much sums it up but he essentially looks unbeatable for the next five months. he beats djoko three times, only gets beaten by him once. he wins his only match-up with carlos. he wins against a bunch of other top 10 players on his way to several titles. he beats medvedev FOUR TIMES (who was ranked 3rd in oct 2023, currently ranked 5th, sorry meddy :// ) . he wins the AUSTRALIAN FUCKING OPEN.

this is the post-puke sinner era. he wins 16 matches in a row, an astonishing run, and he just. Looks. So. Good. He barely dropped a set to get to the australian open final (one, to djoko) and he is playing beautiful —stunningly beautiful— tennis. his serve is FIXED. now HE is the only person anybody can talk about. new future of the atp, people are WATCHING. his carrot fan club is going insane. who can beat him??? when he looks THIS GOOD??

yup. of course. carlos beats jannik at Indian Wells to defend his own title from 2022, ending Jannik's winning streak and cementing the rivalry for a lot of people: i.e. even at jannik's best, even when carlos is in a bit of a slump, carlos still throws jannik for a loop. it's NOT that interesting of a match overall, honestly, although some great points and a tournament beset with Problems, including ... bees!!! what's most interesting about this match imo is the several lovely moments of sincaraz we got from it, some jumping around together beforehand, jannik doing some fairly atypical showing of emotion, and the famous walking off together during the rain delay (rivals don't really do that???) They're just so cute the whole time, a beautiful day for tennisblr tbh. jannik can be so STOIC and carlos just!! brings out the boy in him!!!!!!!!!

^^ rivals!! :)) enemies even!! :)))

jannik goes on to win the other half of the sunshine double, at miami (does not face carlos to do so), making them the SUNSHINE DOUBLE BOYS and deservedly so.

and that pretty much catches you up on the basics of sincaraz!! basically they are each adorable individually, they are adorable together, and they have a chewy fucking rivalry building that EVERYONE is enjoying rn. tbh my ship manifesto gets a lot less fun from here on account of some inane-making thoughts re: the (un)requited & one-sided nature of this ship but let me rec some fics real fast:

umiltà which is INCREDIBLE

Phoenix which is a wonderful character study for jannik, truly beautiful writing

also THIS HUNGER GAMES AU MY GOD

okay so as f1 drivers

first of all, they HAVE to be in the mclaren car, obviously. to me they are an obvious mctwinks parallel: clearly friends, very compatible, same age, but with some fun mentor/mentee dynamics thrown in

Carlos gets signed first, very young — the lando equivalent! he has maybe one or two teammates before jannik but they're all older and it just doesn't exactly click. he likes everyone, even gets along well with them (as well as the rest of the grid!) but he's not quite at home yet. not helped by the fact that he's in one of the fastest cars on the grid, and wins WDC in his rookie year! (maybe helped out a bit by a few djoko DNFs ... I feel like that could be equivalent to djoko being out of some major matches in 2021/2022 for novax reasons) anyway carlos gets an aura which makes it hard to connect w the others, maybe. he's a lil lonely!!!

Jannik gets signed a year later and they click as a teammate pair pretty well. I see a VERY similar trajectory as landoscar: carlos is much more comfortable with the press, knows the team really well, shoulders much of the burden of marketing etc. Jannik comes in to a team that has a fave driver already, but he's ALSO a good driver, and carlos likes him so so so sosososo much, so the team welcomes him with open arms. At first he performs okay... not great... he has a slower learning curve. He's improving, but incrementally. he and carlos get closer as they share tips about the car and training etc.

Then one day he pukes in a bin. this part is essential. HOW it happens doesn't matter ... he gets food poisoning?? heatstroke??? doesn't matter, who cares, the point is, this is his turning point in terms of hoisting himself up the driver rankings. He starts making it into the top five drivers every race, gets some podiums, wins his first race. carlos is RIGHT THERE NEXT TO HIM. they celebrate together !! they kiss that very night!!!!!!

now they are fighting for WDC. things get tense. this is where I have to stop I get too anxious LMAOO anyway!!

so those are my broadstrokes headcanon re: how would sincaraz work as f1 drivers. I do think about it quite a lot ....... they all live in my brain now probs forever 🤪🤪 sorry to make you read all that. maybe you didn't lol but ENJOY ANYWAY AND THANKS FOR THE ASK ILYYYYYY <3 <3 <3

[spacesapphi]

"Moving Forward, Spiraling Downward Chapter 6- Swallow Your Pride"

THE BIG ONE...

Want to start off with content warnings again

CW for brief mentions of addiction and death, suicidal ideation, and warning for emetophobia

ALSO IMPORTANT!!! Since g as a currency is REALLY weird in game, I decided to come up with a basic format that will be used through the fic. Every 100g is equivalent to 1 USD. So 100g is a dollar, 1000 is ten, 10,000 is a hundred (so on and so forth). I mention this bc there's a number mentioned here that seems CRAZY high, but is actually equivalent to around 2,000 dollars.

AO3 Version Here

Tumblr Version beneath the cut!

Years back in college, it had been tradition for Shane and his friends to spend the last Friday of each month to ditch all plans and responsibilities, using it instead to hang out with each other. They often got incredibly busy as the semesters progressed, leaving little time for each other outside of gridball practice and classes. But that day was something to look forward to, a day with no other worries than their little group. Even though they weren’t here anymore, Shane had been making an effort to keep the tradition alive in the only way he could. 

Right after getting Jas from school, he drove right over to the cemetery where they rested, laying down a blanket and sitting with her by their headstones. Jas would just talk about her day, about what she got up to at school that morning, what she and her friends would talk about. Sometimes the two of them would have a snack, sit there for a while and just think. On most occasions, it put Shane at ease. Not today, though. 

He barely paid attention to Jas’ story of the day, he couldn’t. His mind was somewhere entirely different, unable to focus on anything other than the headstones in front of him, and the photo plaque sitting beneath the etched names. Looking at the two of them, looking into their eyes, he just felt shame. He wanted so badly to tell them he was sorry, for everything. He desperately wanted to hear them say they forgave him, that they understood the circumstances. Shane wasn’t the same man he was when they asked him to be Jas’ godfather, and he was sure he’d never be that man again. Back then he was so naive, so full of joy. But time had turned him into a bitter, tired man, and he could only hope they’d understand.

He remembered what he promised at their funeral. “I’m gonna do right by you.”. If they could see him today, would they have thought he kept that promise? Was he doing right by them? He hoped he was, but deep down he knew they’d be so deeply disappointed in him. If Jas wasn’t here with him, he’d be groveling at the site, pleading for their forgiveness for just how much he’d fucked up this past year alone. Every word he wanted to say to them ran through his head, every fiber of his being begging for them to be able to hear it, wherever they were now.

“Uncle Shane?”

He snapped out of his daze, looking to see Jas tugging at his sleeve, “What’s up, Jas?”

“Did you hear my question?” 

“No… no sorry, my head’s been funny today,” he sighed, looking apologetic, “I’m listening now though, what’s wrong?”

“Umm…” she suddenly looked nervous to ask.

She looked towards the photo plaque Shane had been staring at, “Today, teacher told me they’re with Yoba… is it true?” she asked, a genuine curiosity in her voice. 

Shane frowned, confused as to why her teacher would be talking about that with her. It sounded like he needed to have a chat with them next time he dropped her off, “How’d that come up?”

“I told her we were visitin’ them..’” Jas shrugged, “And she told me that…. Are they?”

“They…. Of course they are, Jassy,” Shane held her close to his side, “They were good people, great people. Where they are now, no one’s ever sad, nothing bad happens to anyone. There’s nothing to worry about.”

“Are you gonna go be with Yoba?” Jas’ voice cracked just a bit, “So you won’t be sad anymore?”

“No, no… Not for a long, long time, kiddo,” he hugged her tight, giving her a smile, “I’m not goin’ anywhere,”

He caught a glimpse of the time on his watch, seeing the hour was starting to grow late. He didn’t have much more time before Rich’s deadline, and he still needed to grab his paycheck. Giving an exaggerated huff, he motioned his head towards the car, “Time to go, we have to stop at work,”

“Aww it’s borin’ there…” Jas whined, “And it smells funny.”

“Yeahhh I don’t like it either. Uncle Shane’s gotta get his paycheck though.” he stood, motioning for her to follow, “Won’t be too long, I promise.”

Jas gave him a pouty expression and continued to sit, still not interested in going. Shane sighed in frustration. Why must she be difficult when they were under a time crunch?, “I’ll give you a quarter for the candy machine if you get in the car, okay?”

She didn’t need to be told twice. Jas immediately hopped up, running off to the car even faster than him. Shane just shook his head, getting the two of them settled in and driving off.

The moment he walked into the store, Shane’s coworkers got hush, giving him awkward glances and whispering to each other as he walked back towards the boss’ office. It was completely surreal. They looked like they had just seen someone die, like there was a ghost in their midst. It made him feel uneasy, a sick feeling creeping up his throat. He couldn’t explain it, he didn’t even know why they were giving him that look, but he knew it couldn’t be from anything good. 

Jas caught wind of it too, whispering softly, “Why are they lookin’ at you like that?”

“I dunno…” Shane whispered back, trying to shake the growing feeling of unease from his mind.

He sat Jas down at the chairs in front of the office, pulling a 25g coin from his pocket and placing it in her palm, “Go get somethin’ while you wait, okay? I’ll be right back,”

“Okay!” Jas was about to run off before Shane snapped his fingers to get her attention. Giving her a knowing look, he spoke sternly, “No gum, Jas,” the two of them remembered well what had happened last time she got it, and the last thing Shane or Jas wanted to do was spend another 3 hours trying to get it out of her hair again. She gave him a quick nod and ran off once again.

Once she was off to the machines, Shane knocked on the office door, getting greeted by the store owner instead of his boss. It took him aback for a minute. He was rarely here, only on special occasions… or when someone was in trouble. Based on the look on his face, Shane had a gut feeling he was in trouble. 

“You’re Tom, right?” he asked sheepishly, earning a less than impressed look by the older man, “It’s Mr. Lidle to you.” he snipped, giving Shane the dirtiest look he’d gotten in a long while.

“Sorry.. I’m just here to get my paycheck, can I see Andy?” He stood on tip-toe to look for his boss in the office, feeling uneasy when he got a glimpse of the scene inside. Andy was indeed in his office, sitting nervously at his desk, staring down at a hefty stack of papers. Nothing too out of the usual there besides the expression. But next to him was an officer. He was in full uniform, and he looked terrifying. What the hell was going on?

“Let’s talk about that paycheck, actually,” Lidle grumbled, motioning for Shane to follow. Reluctantly, he stepped into the office, feeling himself grow more anxious by the second. Lidle pointed to an empty chair in front of the desk, “Sit.” he demanded. 

He did as he was told, sitting up straight and folding his hands neatly on the desk to show he was listening. Lidle stood behind the desk, folding his arms, “Andy, do you want to tell him what’s going on?”

The younger man couldn’t look Shane in the eye, obviously nervous and reluctant to be a part of this conversation. He opened his mouth to speak, but couldn’t form the words. He shook his head, earning a frustrated groan from Lidle. 

“I have to do every damn thing around here…” he grumbled, shooing Andy from the seat and taking his place, looming over the table, “Let’s keep this short and sweet, shall we? For starters, you’re fired. Effective immediately.”

Shane opened his mouth to protest, immediately getting a hand shoved in his face, “I’m still talking,” Lidle barked, “Take a look at these for me, will you?”

He passed over the stack of papers,  which Shane could now see was written in a very confusing format. Each page was covered in a list of seemingly random inventory items, all with varying quantities that didn’t quite make sense to Shane. He furrowed his brow, looking back up to his bosses in confusion, “Wh… what is this?”

“That, Shane, is an itemized list of everything you’ve shoplifted since you’ve begun working here. You do know we check the cameras, right?”

“I-I didn’t-”

“Andy here finally decided to get me involved in this, handed over the tapes so we could get these receipts together. There was a frankly abysmal amount to pour over. Do you want to explain yourself?” 

Shane took a deep breath, trying to collect himself before speaking. He was obviously shaking, his skin pale and clammy, “It’s been h-hard to afford groceries… I have a kid and I need to make sure she’s eatin’, so I’ve been takin’ things from the back for her,”

“And what exactly does she need from the beer counter, Shane? Hmm?” Lidle asked, tone dripping with sarcasm.

Shane froze, unable to look Lidle in the eye. Even still, he could tell that his expression was full of anger, just from hearing his tone of voice alone. Lidle huffed, “I asked you a question.”

“I.. I don’t have an explanation.” he warbled, feeling faint. It was already embarrassing enough being caught, talking about his problem too would’ve killed him. He felt ready to pass out from the anxiety he felt right then and there, his chest tightening with each passing moment. 

Andy finally spoke, using a much softer, understanding tone, “Shane, we’ve discussed the situation for some time now, and we’re giving you two choices here.”

“What…?”

“The first option is using this paycheck to pay for the damages,” Andy explained, “We’ll forget any of this happened, and you just go home today without it, clean slate.”

He took a moment to pause, reluctantly looking toward the officer in the corner. He closed his eyes tight, feeling so pained. Andy thought Shane was a good guy. Yeah, he could be a bit of a slacker somedays, and his work sometimes needed a do-over, but he was always a good guy to be around. He had tried for so long to ignore the theft, knowing that most of it was necessary, but he couldn’t protect him anymore. Yoba, he hated doing this. 

“If… If not, Mr. Lidle has decided to press charges. I-I’m gonna be honest, it doesn’t look good for you, Shane. This is over 200 thousand g worth of damages. That’s five years jail time…” Andy sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, “I don’t want that for you. I don’t want that for your kid.”

“You have until 5 to make your decision,” Lidle stated flatly, “And if you don’t decide, I’ll do it for you... I don’t think you want me to do that,”

“There’s nothing else I can do…?”

“Shane, it was hard enough to fight to even give you a choice,” Andy sighed, “I did all I could, this is the best we can offer.”

Shane took shaky, shallow breaths, staring down at his lap while his mind raced. If he let them take the check, he’d be evicted by tomorrow. If he didn’t, he would go to jail, and Yoba knew what would happen with Jas. He already couldn’t bring himself to talk to Marnie, how the hell would he handle calling her to tell her about this, to ask her to take Jas in while he was in prison? No matter what he chose, no matter what he did, his life was about to change for the worst. Only one option didn’t result in the worst case scenario. Closing his eyes tight, he reluctantly made his choice. 

“Keep the check.” he mumbled, his voice hoarse and defeated. Lidle nodded slowly, breathing out through his nose, “Good choice. Now get the hell out.”

Shane nodded, slowly rising from his seat and stumbling towards the door. Jas was sitting patiently on the chair outside, swinging her legs as she ate a handful of fruit candies she had gotten from the machine. She smiled when she saw her godfather emerge, hopping up from her seat and following alongside him, “Did you get the money?”

When Shane didn’t respond, Jas immediately got the feeling something was wrong. He looked so sad, so upset. She held out her hand with the candies in it, offering one to him. Having a little treat always made her feel better when she was sad, maybe it would help him! He slowly shook his head, swallowing back a sob, “Nah, it’s… it’s okay Jas, thank you,” 

The drive back home was incredibly tense. He kept looking at the clock, seeing the time creep up. It was well past 5:00 pm, the final deadline Rich had given him, and he was empty handed. It was the best decision he could’ve made, the only one he could’ve made, but in no way would any of this be okay. He looked in the rearview mirror, watching Jas sit in her carseat, playing quietly and contentedly with two of her dolls. How was he supposed to explain to her that they were going to need to leave the apartment? That they had nowhere to go? He desperately tried to think of a story to tell her in his head, something that wouldn’t be scary for the little girl.

“Maybe I’ll just say we’re camping… yeah, that’s it…. Or that we’re going on a road trip… but where the hell would we go?” his head was spinning, his thoughts jumbling up with each other. He could barely grasp the situation himself, how the hell was he going to help Jas grasp it? 

Getting back to the apartment building, Shane saw the dreaded red paper taped on his door. Seeing it in person finally sealed the deal for him. This was real, not just some nightmare scenario that made him anxious. He’d been evicted. Ripping the paper from the door, he scanned it over and over, as if he was hoping the next read-over would somehow change what it said. The words remained, though. He had until tomorrow morning to be out. Jas tugged on his sleeve, looking deeply concerned, “What’s wrong?”

Shane crumpled the paper in his hands, taking a deep breath before kneeling to her eye level, forcing a smile, “It’s fine, Jassy, I’m fine… I’m gonna need your help with somethin’ though, okay?”

“What is it?” she asked, tilting her head to the side. Shane breathed out, clasping his hands together as he spoke, “Well… we’re gonna go on a trip! A long one, so we have to get eeeeverything together that we can fit in the car.”

“Really?!” Jas instantly sounded excited, bouncing up and down at the thought of a trip, “To where?!” 

Shane let out a short laugh, “You’ll see! It’s gonna be a surprise.” 

He opened the door, watching Jas excitedly run in and take a look around the room, thinking long and well, “Can I take anythin’ I want?”

“Anythin’ you want!” Shane confirmed, ‘As long as it fits in the car,”

Jas immediately ran to grab her plushies off her bed, piling them up to start a ‘take’ pile. She fluttered around the room, grabbing her dress up accessories, craft supplies, and her most favorite outfits of all. The pile was growing to be almost as tall as her now, just about every single one of her belongings sitting in it, not that she had that much to begin with. Shane focused on more practical items, grabbing his clothes, medicine, documents, and a few sentimental items he hated to part with. The box of old memories and VHS tapes was among one of the first things he grabbed. If there was anything he needed to take most, it was that. 

He looked back to Jas, seeing how giddy she looked as she packed her items into bags, stuffing each one tight with her belongings. He felt ready to break down, like he was going to be sick, but at least she looked happy. She wasn’t scared, wasn’t struck with the same worry that made him want to throw up. He was worried the trip story wouldn’t be believable, and he feared it would be less believable as time went on. Where the two of them would go he still had no idea, but he would figure it out. He always did.

The car was stuffed as much as it could be with their belongings, leaving the inside quite cramped and overfilled, though there was still much more inside the apartment. Furniture, dishes, and many personal belongings from both of them would need to be left behind. Shane silently cursed himself for choosing such a small car all those years ago. Getting into the driver's seat, he looked at the apartment building for the last time, huffing as he turned the key. 

“Alright back there, Jas?” he asked, getting a nod from the girl. She looked out the window as they drove away, leaning her head against the glass. Part of her knew this wasn’t just a fun trip, as much as she wanted to believe it was. They weren’t going back, and that was clear enough. They’d never taken this much for a trip before, no one did. Where they’d end up, she had no clue, and it scared her a little. She wanted to cry, but she knew Uncle Shane was already upset, and she didn’t want to make it worse. Using all her strength, she stopped herself from crying, squeezing a plush close to her as Shane sped through the city streets. 

She could see it in his face, just how dire all this was. They’d been on many trips before, and not once did he look distraught like this. Normally he’d be excited, blasting music, cracking jokes, talking with her. But the ride was silent, the only sounds coming from the city life outside their car, and the soft hum of the engine. Not a word was spoken by either of them, a silent understanding between the two that this was awful.

It was getting dark now, the sun starting to set over the city, and Jas could feel herself slowly lulling into sleep. As scared as she was, she trusted that Uncle Shane had it figured out, that when she woke up he’d have them somewhere safe and sound. It would be okay, it always was in the end. Her eyes slowly fluttered shut, sleep taking her for the night. 

Shane was trembling in the driver's seat at this point. He’d been in a state of shock earlier, so much happening at once that he wasn’t able to emotionally register it all and act accordingly. But now, it was all beginning to sink in. Everything was sinking in. Yoba, his life was so fucked up, and the only thing he could blame was himself. He had so many chances to receive help, and pushed them away every single time. If he had just let go of his pride, if he had just stopped being such a stubborn ass, everything would be okay. 

But here he was now. He was sick, growing sicker by the day, and starving. Looking in the mirror he looked like a dead man walking, scruffy, face sunken, clothes dirty and loose. He was in so much debt to just about everyone in the damn world at this point, an amount he’d never be able to pay off. He’d be in debt for the rest of his life at this point, the payments and looming anxiety of it all following him to his grave. And now, he was evicted, the only shelter he and Jas had being the car they sat in. No house, not a dollar in his pocket, nothing. The thought just about knocked the wind out of him. They were homeless. They were fucking homeless.

White-knuckle gripping the steering wheel, he began to feel himself panic. He couldn’t get enough air into his lungs, no matter how deep he breathed. It felt like his throat was closing up, like a hand was squeezing tight at his neck, digging it’s fingers in so deep that he’d bleed. He knew they weren’t safe living in the car,  but there was nowhere for them to go either. It was his fault too, all his fucking fault. He had destroyed every connection he had left, cutting off those who loved him, and for what? For his pride? He was letting the situation get this bad, a situation that also affected Jas, all because he was too prideful to accept any help? Christ, what a selfish man he was. 

He wanted to die, genuinely wished for death. He saw no way out of this situation, no way to get better. This was rock bottom. He’d dug himself into this pit willingly, destroying his life for no reason at all. Why was he like this? What was his fucking problem?! He just wanted to steer into oncoming traffic, get this shit over with and just stop feeling so damn miserable already. He’d let death take him, accepting that fate with open arms. The only thing stopping him from going through with it was little Jas in the backseat of the car. 

Looking back at her he just felt his heart break. He felt like a failure. Jas would be better off without him as a guardian, he was sure. He wasn’t fit to raise her, he didn’t think he ever was. Yoba, why did he say yes when Jason asked him to be her godfather? He never thought he’d actually have to live up to the title, no one ever does! It was supposed to be honorary, why did it have to end up like this? Why did Jason decide to take the route they did that night, going down a busy road on one of the craziest nights of the year? If he had just taken the one Amelia suggested, the one that actually made sense, they would’ve been fine.

Deep in his heart he believed he should’ve been the one to go all those years ago. Yoba, or whatever sick fuck was in charge of fate, made a horrible mistake that night. They took two amazing people, people who should be witnessing their daughter’s achievements and milestones, raising her in a proper home. But they weren’t. They couldn’t.

Tonight he could make things right. Shane had always felt too small and stupid to take control of his life, like a useless piece of soiled garbage flittering in the wind. But tonight, he had an opportunity to finally take control of it, if only he had the guts to do it.

But what about Jas? If he did this, where would that leave her? Was he really going to take away another guardian in her life, leave her alone, confused and scared? The thought wouldn’t leave his mind, making him more distressed by the moment. Images of how he’d do it kept flashing in his mind, playing over and over again. He didn’t actually want that. He didn’t want to end this, he truly didn’t. Why did his mind insist on making him think about it? Why couldn’t he just get a hold of himself already?

He was crying so hard at this point that he could barely see the road in front of him, a sick feeling creeping up his throat and into his mouth. He couldn’t do this, he just couldn’t. It was a miracle that his sobs weren’t waking Jas up. Finally gaining some semblance of control over himself, he swerved the car to the shoulder of the road, parking abysmally. He quickly stumbled out of the front seat and into the grassy patch just next to the road, shaking with each step.

The grief of it all pulled him to his knees, throwing Shane to the ground as he vomited into the grass below. His body trembled like a leaf as he let sobs wrack him, his cries verging on inhuman screaming. He didn’t know he was capable of making sounds like that. His throat burned, his voice hoarse and warbling. Years worth of pent up mourning and rage, at life and himself, forced its way to the surface. Curled up on the ground, gripping his hair so tight it felt like it would rip from his scalp, he let the grief take him. What was he going to do? How was he supposed to get back on his feet? There were few supports in place for people in his position, and the ones that did exist were a struggle to get into. He was completely, utterly fucked. He had nothing.

He lay like that for some time, until the smell of the vomit below him became too much to bear. Lifting himself up pathetically, he sat hunched over on his knees, trying to take in deep breaths of the air around him. He still couldn’t stop the sobs, trembling and hicc-ing as he tried everything to calm himself down. Oh, he felt like such a child right now. Part of him wished he was, longing for the simpler, happier days of his youth.

He remembered how Marnie used to comfort him when he was little, getting him wrapped in a blanket, sitting in front of the fireplace and hugging him close, letting him cry it out until he felt ready to talk. He would give anything to hear her tell him it was going to be okay, for her to hold him tight and sing to him just like she did when he was young. Leaning against the side of the car, he closed his eyes, trying to ground himself. He wished he never cut her out of his life, wished he could go back in time, prevent himself from ever saying those awful things and leaving without another word. She had been right since day one. He should’ve gone home, he should’ve been at the ranch this entire time.

What a mess he had made of things. He was absolutely certain she hated him now. Even if he tried to go home, would she let him? Would she accept him with open arms, or just slam the door in his face? He deserved it for his behavior this past year, the childish silent treatment he had given her. His self esteem was non-existent, he felt too terrible to ever forgive, not worthy of a second chance. The thought that someone could care for him unconditionally, that his family loved him, it felt like fantasy. He would never forgive someone like himself, why would anyone else? 

Furrowing his brows together, he rested his head on the cool metal of the car door, sighing with a shudder, “Yoba if you’re real, give me some kind of sign, please. Any sign, I don’t even care anymore…. I don’t know what to do…” he whispered in a shaky tone,”Anything… just tell me what to do…”

Opening his eyes he looked around at his surroundings, taking them in fully for the first time. He had been so panicked, so worked up during the drive, that he didn’t even notice where he was at first. He was on the bypass, the entry to the city’s main highway mere yards away from him. Cars whizzed by loudly on the left, folks traveling by without giving him a second glance. The streetlights slowly began to turn on as the sun fully set behind the mountains, the night beginning.

A bright yellow light came into view in front of him, piercing his red, swollen eyes with its intensity. He squinted and held up his hand to block it out. It took a moment for his vision to adjust, the light’s source coming into clear view. It was a floodlight mounted atop a bright green highway sign, illuminating it for all the nighttime travelers to see. It’s text was plain and simple, written in bold white letters:

“Stardew Valley- 10 Miles.”

His breath hitched as he read it, feeling something click in his mind. When he had asked for a sign, he didn’t mean something so… literal. But, a sign was a sign. Maybe he was meant to go home…  Maybe he was meant to do so a long, long while ago. Maybe getting thrown to the street was some force in the universe finally forcing him to stop delaying the inevitable, if it existed that is. He was feeling his stubbornness slowly break down, his prideful spirit turning humble. Thinking about going home made him feel… hopeful. The voice in his head that told him to do it on his own had finally shut itself up, sitting in silent agreement with Shane for once.

The glow of the floodlight touched his face, its warmth beckoning him. If he closed his eyes he could practically imagine himself sitting in front of the fireplace at Marnie’s, wrapped in that warm blanket. He could almost feel it. Whether or not she’d accept him coming back, he had no clue. But he would never know unless he tried. He felt the last bit of resistance crumble away, the voice of reason finally speaking in his ear.

Wiping the tears from his face, he took one last deep breath to fully ground himself. He was ready. Getting back into the car, he took another look back at Jas, who still lay asleep in her carseat, head lulled to the side. His decision was only cemented from there. He had to do what was best for her, not his ego. He would do right by Jason and Amelia like he promised to do years ago. Jas would thrive in the valley. She could actually have a life, a proper home surrounded by kind people in a safe environment. Why had he waited so long? For once he was going to listen to that voice of reason, take the advice of those much wiser than him. Turning the key in the ignition, he started the car up once again, merging right back onto the bypass, homeward bound. 

---------

Town square was still quite lively through the evening, vendors for the Stardew Valley Fair still having their booths up, allowing tourists to play games and enjoy the festivities provided. Many villagers were out and about too, the younger folk trying to see how many points they could wrack up at the games before the stands closed for the night, the elders of town preferring to spend their time talking amongst each other. It was a chorus of laughter and celebration, and regrettably, Marnie would not be joining them tonight. Between getting her grange display taken down and bringing the petting zoo animals back home, she was exhausted. Her entire body ached, begging to settle down for the first time in the day. 

Laying back on the living room couch in her robe and nightgown, listening to an old vinyl to unwind, she was living the life. She found herself feeling more at peace today. Maybe it was because of her conversation with Pam, maybe from a general sense of acceptance of her life. Maybe it was both. For the first time in a long while, Marnie rested easy. She couldn’t remember the last time she felt such peace, but it had to have been before Winter Star. Her fear for the wellbeing of her nephew and grand-niece had subsided, her mind suddenly feeling much calmer about it. Perhaps it was her intuition letting her know all was well wherever they may be. Even still, she missed them dearly, and that would never stop being the case.

Just as she was about to drift to sleep, a horrid noise was heard outside, the grumbling of an engine and the squeak of brakes. She groaned in frustration, fully expecting yet another tourist to pull up in front of the ranch in their loud vehicle. Plenty of them had been using the space in front of her home to park, sending the chickens into a tizzy each and every time. Didn’t they know that scared the animals? With a grumble she sat up, slipping on a pair of shoes and stomping towards the door. Oh she had half a mind to give whoever this was an earful, to scold them for the intrusion. What was a tourist doing coming so late, anyways?

A loud knock rang out at the door, stopping her in her tracks. That, she didn’t expect. The folks visiting tended to walk straight to town square for the festivities. What did they want from her? 

The knock came again, jolting Marnie back into action. She muttered under her breath about the inconvenience, grabbing the broom next to the door so she could use it to ward them off if need be. Grabbing the handle tight, she flung the door open, her expression grumpy and exhausted.

“What do you wa-” her annoyed tone of voice immediately softened, her voice cutting out as she took in the sight before her. It took her just a moment to recognize the man at the door. He looked so unkempt, the sweater and pants he wore far too large on him, his hair uneven and wild. But when she looked at his face and saw those green eyes, wide with both fear and hope, she knew who it was.

Shane cradled a sleeping Jas in his arms, looking at Marnie with a nervous expression. His chest felt tight again, he didn’t know what to expect. Marnie felt the broom slip from her hands, the rod falling to the dirt path with a loud thud.Tears welled in her eyes, threatening to spill over. Was she dreaming?

The two of them just stared at each other, neither knowing what to say, where to begin after an entire year of no contact. Finally, Shane broke the silence, warbling out one simple sentence. 

“I’m home, aendi,”

[wannab-urs]

HallowReads Celebration

I'm not much of a graphic maker and I'm not great at making playlists for other people, so I decided to contribute to this lovely celebration in the way I usually celebrate fic writers in this fandom: Recs!

And listen, I know I have uhhh quite a few mutuals here. I'm not trying to leave anyone out. I love you all very much. I'm only making one of these though and there's only 4 questions lol.

My favourite fanfic I read this year

Lavender by @justagalwhowrites Description: An age-gap grumpy/sunshine friends-to-lovers (and eventually friends-to-lovers-to-enemies-to-friends-to-lovers) fanfic that starts pre-outbreak. Series is now complete and spans from Spring, 2000, through Fall, 2029, in the HBO timeline. My thoughts: It's hard to pick a favorite fic. I have read a little over 500 fics since April of this year. But this one has stuck with me so hard. I keep coming back to it over and over. It is beautifully written, heart wrenching, absolutely wonderful. The no outbreak AU will heal you from the trauma of reading the original version, but listen... it's worth it. The characters, the plot, the imagery, everything is so incredible. If you haven't read this... what are you doing?

A beloved fanfic with my comfort character

Celestial Navigation by @write-and-buried Description: dumped and drowning in a summer storm, you duck inside a coffee shop to hide from your broken heart. Covered in plants and hand drawn images over exposed brick, it seems like a slice of heaven. The owner brings you a blueberry muffin and a promise; you'll fall in love with him before the new year. My thoughts: Dieter is my comfort character, 100%. I love him with all my heart. This fic... It takes everything I love about the character of Dieter, puts him into an eccentric millionaire coffee shop AU, mixes in a little bit of that supernatural witchy vibe I love... and it stole my heart. I read this very very early on in my PPCU days and I have since read it 3 times. And I really don't do rereads often. This fic is absolutely beautiful. It's my fucking Roman Empire, man. I think about it at least daily.

A fanfic I wish more people knew about

Psychomanteum by @whatsnewalycat Description: You've recently taken on the customer-facing responsibilities of the small-scale cannabis bakery you and your late husband ran out of your apartment, which introduces you to occasional customer, Dieter Bravo. A friendship is sparked when you realize you have something in common: you've both died. What Dieter doesn't tell you about his near-death experience, though, is that it foretold his life with you. My thoughts: This is one of those fics you think would have 1000 notes and then you look and it has less than 200 on each chapter. This fic is criminally underrated. Psychomanteum is one of the main reasons I even started writing fanfic. I hadn't considered how deeply moving and beautiful a fic could be until I read this. I think I was originally drawn in by the spooky vibes and I was hooked immediately by the world building, the characters, the exploration of grief and trauma. I cannot sing this fic or aly's praises enough. Everyone should read this.

A fanfic with my favourite trope/AU

Be-All and Endor by @djarins-cyare Description: Languishing in a dull and lonely existence on the forest moon of Endor after travelling there to help salvage Death Star wreckage, a nearly fatal encounter with a mysterious bounty hunter out in the forest heralds an opportunity to utilise long-forgotten skills and develop something more profound than you ever thought possible. My thoughts: So my favorite trope is slow burn. This is... an exceptional slow burn. The tension is there pretty much right from the beginning, but it's like 25 whole chapters before the smut happens I think? Don't quote me on that but it's like nearly halfway in to a fic that is very, very long. On to why this is my favorite slowburn ever: The worldbuilding is beautiful. The characterization of Din is one of the best I've literally ever seen. Reader is incredible. Every choice made by the author is so smart and well-researched and planned out. The plot is fantastic, the characters are amazing, the imagery, the tension, the character development. If you love Din, you have to read this. It is beautiful.

A fanfic with my favourite trope/AU Part 2

I simply can't resist a M/M/F sex pollen fic

Of Gorgons and Gardens by @concussed-to-pieces

Description: a Death Watch-raised Mando that takes the Creed incredibly seriously and an Ezra that's well armed -- sex pollen in the form of a weird plant

My thoughts: I am a SLUT for sex pollen fics, so obviously that was excellent. I also love how it was like "oh the plant makes men want to fuck women" but hinted that neither of them would be particularly upset about fucking each other either. This fic is almost absurdly smutty (but also kinda sweet) in part one, and then part two was so sweet. Like yeah yeah horrible harrowing near death experience yada yada... the STUBBLE SCENE??? The PAIN KINK?? the TOUCHING?? I just about died. And then in part three we get my top all time kink PLUS Din and Ezra and Reader just being so sweet it hurts a little. I am feral for these boys UGH. If you like MMF, read all three parts. If you just like poor pining Din and some insane sex pollen that's a little more MFM than MMF, just read part one. Either way... this fic is insanely good man.

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I could and have recced so many fics. It was very difficult for me for to choose just these five, when the spreadsheet is well over 500 fics now. Check out my Fic Rec Masterlist for a comprehensive list of my recommendations.

[star-the-gremlin]

Reminder that commenting on people work fucking works!

I recently posted the first chapter of another one of my dumbass ideas and as I kinda expected it didn't really blow up with comments and kudos. (only comment was from a mutual) But when I woke up the next day at 2am because my dumbass body decided it was a great time to go get some hydration I checked my phone and saw another comment basically saying they cant wait to read more, I shit you not I opened my file and wrote at least a 1000 words in one sitting and a few more after I passed out and woke up again!

Comments fucking WORK! I was motivated as FUCK! And still am!

[loyaltykask]

Chapter 14

@journeythroughjourneytothewest

THE POOR MONKEY IS MOSSY! HE WAS SO DIRTY ONLY HIS EYES WHERE SEEN NO MONKEY. Also love the attitude, even under a rock he like: YOU'RE LATE

Man really said "I aint got shit to say to an NPC, get my that Main Character Protag over here"

Feel like he saying this with quotation marks like "disobedience" and "rebellion" Like it was just a prank bro

Just something about Wukong saying he wants to come makes me happy. For once Sanzang's trusting nature is a good thing in this case He trusts the 1000-year-old ex-warlord monkey

Fate is sealed

He is not a cruel monster, he way more than that

HE NAKEY BOY!

Also didn't want to hurt them damn, how loud can this guy get after 7 miles?! ALL HORSES SHALL BOW TO HIM

HE GIVS HIM A NICKNAME LIKE THAT. Says he looks like a little Dhuta and everything!!!

Sanzang: Oh no another tiger! Wukong: Noice, time to get my drip that will be integrated with my character design for the rest of the time

Even smashing someone's head in is put into poetry Deadass "His brain flew to the ground like peach petals and his bones look like white jade" LIKE BRUH I DIDN'T NEED THAT IMAGINE IN MY MIND

This could just be me but I feel the poetry here is to emphasize how Wukong and Sanzang are seen as a new founding pact, a team that is meant to be together highlighted by how the beasts around them gather together for safety as well

Man I love this poetry

Fucking rude. Sanzang being so handsome he knocks on sense into this old fart.

Love that Wukong can take a joke since he sees this guy as his great-great-great-great-great grandson. He is just a lovable guy.

Wukong just picking this poor guy up: Oh good they bought us provisions Sanzang: Wukong they want to rob us Wukong: The dead can't rob

Do love how Sanzangis worried about Wukong, like his first mission and he is scared his little monkey man is going to get hurt

I wanna know who the guy feeling desire was thinking

You would think after the 40th try they would slow down

The greatest lessons to be taught You can't go around killing people who get in your way Is it effective? Yes.

Is it nice? No.

Also love how one of Sanzang's point is that they could get in trouble with the law and how he does not want to get arrested because of Wukong's antics

Very interesting they bring up Wukong's desire to be a true immortal in this circumstance. It is only true discipline and self-control will Wukong be able to achieve what he has always wanted. Also, love that it goes further into detail about how Wukong has to be the one to make this choice, he has to be the one to humble himself and realize he still has more to learn rather than thinking 'Might is Right' and that it's his way or the highway. I mean I don't blame him as he is experienced and old but at the same point he has to see that even though he has his flaws he has to admit to being wrong sometimes in order to learn from those mistakes and grow as a person.

:-(

Wukong: Ow that hurts..... do it again, lets test

Well that would have ended the story VERY quickly

I just love the idea that Wukong was 100% ready about to throw hands and Tripi had to remind him "She taught it to me bruh she would do the same to you" Wukong had to pause like "......shit"

[scarlettwriter91]

Hii! I have a lot to say: As Potter is to Snape was my first proper fic i read and now i saw you wrote a second part im rereading it. I was planning to anyway haha but yeah. Its fucking amazing, everything is so amazingly well-written, i was a bit skeptical about the whole snape and remus are albus and minnies children but i really dont mind! Its one of the best mentor/father figure fic i have read so far and im constantly dissapointed by other fics honestly snape is so amazingly in character and is not the cute uwu softie i see in most Severitus fics. I love your writing style and honestly i would love for you to write more bc i would read literally anything by you but anyway i thank you so much for this because this fic is literally what got me into fanfic and inspired me for so many of my stuff haha! I wish you good luck with any other stuff you decide to do and also i was so surprised you put this on Ao3 bc i read it on ffnet and honestly i prefer this format more so ty for that too! Sorry for the super long message btw its 1000+ characters anyway have a great dayy

Oh my gosh!! Excuse me while I pass out from sheer happiness!!!!!! I'm so glad you loved the fic!!! I swear, everytime I think I'm giving up on finishing the second part, I get a message like this and it just makes me want to try and write it all in one day lol.

Albus and Minerva being together, plus being adoptive parents to Snape and Remus, was something that I needed in my life and couldn't find it anywhere else. (It could have been out there somewhere, but I never found it lol) And then obviously I wanted Snape to mentor/adopt Harry, but I wanted to keep his grumpiness and all the things that make him Snape even after he began to care for Harry, which I feel like a lot of other fics change.

And the crazy thing for me is that the entire thing was supposed to be a short little ten chapter thing that didn't go past summer before third year. But then it sort of just took a life of it's own and ended up over 200K words lol.

Anyway! Thank you so much for the wonderful message!! I'm so glad you like it and I hope you enjoy the reread! I'm really hoping to have another chapter of part 2 up soon! *Fingers crossed*

[docholligay]

Sing Her Down By Ivy Pochoda

the pitch: I started reading this, as I start to read many things, because it was available from the library when I wanted my next book. But I do read the blurbs and stuff before settling on one, and with this sentence, I was intrigued. For myself, but also for you: "No Country for Old Men meets Killing Eve in this gritty, feminist Western thriller."

Like, GIRL.

So I started reading, and within the prologue and about five pages into the first chapter, I knew I would tell you about it. The prose and character voice immediately pop. "Oh yeah, I'm on my way to places Doc will want to visit." Not just with the themes, but the way the author writes reminds me not unlike your own work. She has this beautiful way of weaving metaphors into the narration that amplify tone and mood, it immediately put me in the mind of your writing style. I usually wait until I'm done with something before I rec it to you. Not so here.

"Gripping and immersive, Sing Her Down is a spellbinding thriller setting two indelible women on a path to certain destruction and an epic, stunning showdown."

I mean, COME ON.

Non-spoilery: I’m not even sure if I liked this book but I really appreciated it. It’s an almost-modern-Western (though i would not quite call it that myself) that takes on the idea of victimhood and villainy and obsession, and being tied together. I loved its air of inevitability. I think it wanted for a little editing--I found myself wishing it had been rewritten. It reads like draft four. It’s good! But it could have been great, and unlike a lot of the time, I have the sense the author could have gotten herself there without too much trouble. But it has a really intriguing framing device that i LOVE, and fabulous narrative voice. (big compliment to say it reminds you of my work. I’m not sure I live up to it)  Not a waste of time for sure.  

I’ll leave the non-spoilery section with a quote i loved: “Like there’s no space for regret and power in the same body. Like these two things can’t cohabitate.” 

Spoilery: 

What a weird book (complimentary). I’m not sure I could ever explain to someone what its about in a way that really conveys the experience of reading it. In short, its about two women who are on their way to an inevitable showdown, and one of them at least must die. There is no evading this. They are as intertwined as the gunman and the outlaw in a Louis L’Amour bit. And the book makes no bones about this. 

Actually, the back of the book calls this “No Country for Old Men meets Killing Eve” and you know part of the reason I hate that fucking “blank meets blank” shit is it’s so often incorrect. This book owes a much greater debt to the ‘gritty’ pulp Westerns of the 70s and 80s than it does No Country. There are two women like in Killing Eve I guess, but Dios wanting to kill Florida, wanting to make Florida kill, has nothing to do with desire, and Florida is mostly a woman trying to escape. Florida is a coward in the face of action, in the face of even recognizing who she is, she sees herself as an innocent flower and not the killer she is, and not even in a cool way just in a way tht manages to dodge all accountability. 

Loved Kace! She is both character and framing device and honestly she is the only likeable one. If you go into this expecting to take either Dios or Florida’s ‘side’ you are going to be very disappointed because they both suck utterly. They are both fundamentally broken human beings. There is something WRONG with them. It’s not “what did society do to me” so much as Dios needs Florida to realize that, just like Dios, she is a wolf born into a world of dogs. She needs Florida to cop to that. They are Born Bad. 

But anyway Kace is the exception to all this, despite being 1000% certifiably crazy, she fels like the only fucking reliable person in the whole book. As readers, we trust her more than anyone, and the ways that happen unfold over the course of the book, we realize she thinks she can hear ghosts, or she actually hears them, depending on your take. Some of the best lines, including the one I put above, come from her. She, despite being, like I say, NUTS, is the only character who seems to have self-reflection. And I love that! I love that our trusted character, the one who seems to own up to it all and do what she can with where she’s at, is someone who, in the earliest parts of the novel, seems like your standard crazy burnout. It lets US reevaluate what ‘crazy’ looks like, especially contrasted with Florida. 

Lobos is such a waste in this book that I damn near forgot she was in it. Pochoda never goes far enough with her, and I think the book would be massively improved by either cutting her completely or actually fleshing her out to fully decide what sort of story you want to tell with her. This half-baked thing going on with her is actually my strongest criticism of the novel. 

ANYWAY, the point of these is that I don’t have to write god’s most perfect review, so I’ll let myself stop, but yeah, I think it’s a really fun, very fast read.

[reds-skull]

Hi sending this as an ask so you can answer it whenever it’s convenient.

The Hunter (and his men) knew way to fucking much about Simon and it was fucking creepy (great job!). The only person I can think of who would have that info and motive to go after Ghost would be Roba. He’d have the knowledge and hatred of Ghost and it would take time to build back his forces after Ghost dismantled them the first time. Turning and placing moles, building up a loyal army with enough money to hire Ghost not to mention the (red)skull motif and his apparent age. I know I’m probably wrong but is fun to guess and I’m super excited to find out what’s going on regardless.

I really liked this fic and I’m sad it’s almost over Ghost and Soaps relationship through the whole fic was handled really well and I think felt organic. From their first meeting (Soap was feral and Ghost didn’t know what to think lol) to Soap repeatedly saving Ghost’s life (metaphorically and literally) to eventually finally trusting each other (and those around them) and realising their mutual feelings.

Gaz is the best friend ever and is not paid nearly enough to put up with Soaps (and now Ghosts) bullshit. The man was ready to throw down if needed but still listened to trusted and trusted Soaps judgment, meanwhile Price is having multiple nervous breakdowns (respect) and is still keeping is children men inline and on task. He feels so guilty about failing Simon and MacTavish when it wasn’t even his fault both times to begin with it was out of his hands. This time though he’ll save them.

It’ll be interesting to see what Laswell turns up with after she finishes hunting down their leak… I almost feel sorry for whoever it was.

I loved the parallels between the story and the snippets of poem, that was so well done and cool! Am I correct in reading that you wrote those poems yourself? Because I didn’t realise till I got to the end note and wow i don’t even have words… I thought they were off some old poetry anthology I’d never head about and was going to look it up to read it.

Hi! Thank you a lot of the kind words <3

I do like your theory about Roba being the Hunter, and I do agree it would be the only logical option for their real identity... if it weren't for the poems.

I'm so happy you found Soap and Ghost's relationship dynamic organic, it was a part I struggled with, and I'm not sure that I managed to execute exactly as I wanted haha

I feel so bad for Gaz and Price in this AU, unfortunately everyone kinda got the short end of the stick with how the turn of events meant the 141 was never fully formed...

I don't plan on showing exactly what happens to the rat Laswell eventually finds, but you can be assured they'll probably suffer. She can definitely be scary when she feels the need to.

And I'm so so glad you mentioned the poems! Yeah, I wrote them but I was heavily inspired by a specific collection of English poems from the 10th century (the correct word for it is a codex actually but it's basically a collection). I'll be going in depth about what exactly is going on there in the post script, because it's basically another story I told in parallel to the main one in the fic. And I'll certainly give the name of the codex so you can read it, it's a little complicated to understand because it had to be translated from Middle English (and apparently every word there can be interpreted in like 3 different ways, not to mention the amount of missing pages and possible mistakes from copyists, but that's part of the course with books from over 1000 years ago...). The stories told there, and the language they used to convey them, is really unique and beautiful in my opinion.

I was kinda sad when no one seemed to bring it up, I figured most people just skipped them or they were just sort of too confusing lol, which is why I'll basically explain what I wanted the reader to understand from them in the post script (which I plan on posting at the same time as the last chapter, unlike with Not Alive, Nor Dead). The post script will also have a timeline for the fic, and how exactly it diverges from canon, as well as the deleted scenes and an extra poem I couldn't fit in the fic.

For now, I'll say the true identity of the Hunter is tied to those poems, and their character wouldn't really make sense if you skip them...

[motionpicturedemise]

myth's game writeup of 2023

i waited until the new year to finish this in case i managed to beat a game during december. i did not. ANYWAY.

this will contain new games as well as games i only got around to in 2023. light on spoilers but be warned

Octopath Traveler II (2023)

as far as i remember, this was the first new game I played this year, and god did it deliver. I've been a fan of octopath since the first one came out on switch in 2018, counting it as my favorite game of all time, so to have a sequel after all this time was thrilling. it did almost everything octopath 1 did and better. new path actions, day/night system, branching stories, fucking boats?? incredible.

my biggest gripe has to be the new hidden classes. I started with throne so getting inventor 10 minutes after my chapter one did definitely fuck up the progression a little bit. I think I preferred ot1 hidden classes. while the dungeons were underwhelming, the boss battles really make you fight for these secret techniques, something absent in 3 out of the 4 hidden classes of octopath 2.

overall: 4/5 BP.

Xenoblade Chronicles 3: Future Redeemed (2023)

xenoblade 3 as the end of the klaus trilogy really didn't sit well with me, for reasons that don't belong on my review of its dlc, but future redeemed fixed nearly every problem i had with base xc3 — both story and gameplay wise. it ties every xenoblade game and even some of gears and saga into a neat little 40 hour bow, and is truly a love letter to the entire series. I can only think of one problem I still have with it. the fucking menu music.

where do i even fucking start with this one really. relatively speaking, I'm a new xenoblade fan, having started xc1 in march 2022 during a harrowing experience with adhd meds, and since then it had kinda consumed me. I finished it in about a week, went on to watch xenoblade 2 because I had heard the gameplay wasn't great, and got my hands on xenoblade 3 day of release.

overall: 5 dance apples.

Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom (2023)

as someone who was not immune to the hype surrounding botw, I had high hopes for the sequel. hopes that were painfully, slowly, fed into a trash compactor over my playthrough. this is another game I got on release day, lining up outside gamestop in the heat, and lets not forget that it's the only first-party switch game with a price tag of seventy bucks.

the game plays like a tech demo. I have a lot of love in my heart for it. the story was better that botw, the world was more expansive than botw, but the problem here is that everything it does is directly compared to breath of the wild. it doesn't get enough time to shine, because we're in the exact same world as 6 years ago, but instead of pinkish black malice we have blackish pink gloom. i much prefer the runes to the zonai abilities, and the sense of wonder that permeated breath of the wild is replaced by a sense of nostalgia that just doesn't appeal to me much.

all of this isn't to say it's a bad game. I think it's a great game, honestly, but a great game that wasn't meant for me. I've seen the insane shit people do with ultrahand, but it just... isn't my style.

overall: 441/1000 korok seeds

Pikmin 4 (2023)

it's pikmin. i dont have much to say about it. it was a lot of fun, loved that part where i bulborbed all over those guys. im not a gameplay reviewer, at heart i mostly talk about story, and a game like pikmin doesn't have much for me to comment on. good fun. lived up to expectations. probably wouldn't replay.

overall: 7500 sparklium

Final Fantasy XIV: Stormblood (2017)

oh, stormblood... the rage you still fill my veins with. I'm not going to spend too long on this one because I have better things to do with my life than shit on an expansion everyone already hates, but let me make it clear I actually do have reasons for disliking it.

having ala mhigo built up since the very start of a realm reborn, only to have half of the ala mhigo expansion take place halfway across the star, was very disappointing. the monotony of the three areas in gyr abania compared to the three far east areas was very disappointing. the treatment of the people of the steppe and honestly that entire segment in the main story quest was very disappointing. hien, as a character, in his entirety, was very disappointing.

I will say it had strong parts. the 61-70 quests for several jobs were the strongest in their entire story (see: dark knight). the dungeons started to get more interesting. it gave us the quest Child Labor, which is hilarious and I'll never be finishing it because I want it there forever.

overall: 1/3 WHM Lillies.

Final Fantasy XIV: Shadowbringers (2019)

ffxiv immediately got better the second 4.0 was over. even the patch quests instantly shot up in quality. it's not even funny. the lead up to shadowbringers was the most fun I had had with the game since a realm reborn, and all of the first was heartbreaking to go through even though I was spoiled on That Character's Identity.

the duty trust system (is that what it was called?) made dungeons much more fun. getting to go through hell with alphinaud alisaie and thancred made everything 10x better, even if it was a lot slower. the story, again, heartbreaking — ryne's arc in particular felt like being stabbed by thousands of little needles while trying to play. in the best way, of course. and amaurot... amaurot. getting to quote our favorite knight in there was my 8th umbral calamity.

shadowbringers also marks when a lot of your job's functionality is really unlocked, so doing the level 80 raid series was genuinely a ton of fun. and again the thousands of little needles. i cried at least 7 times during the main story.

overall: 85/100 kenki gauge.

Katana Zero (2019)

possibly my favorite game this year. the protagonist, zero (or as i like to call him, katana from zero,) ticked all the boxes for a character I'd be absolutely obsessed with. true enough, i fell in love. the fast-paced gameplay, the diegesis of gameplay elements which would typically go unquestioned, and the care that seeps through every dialogue choice all solidify katana zero as one of my favorite game experiences ever. I'll leave it at this, because I encourage everyone to at least give it a try.

overall: Yes, that should work.

Fire Emblem Engage (2023)

this is one of the few 2023 releases on this list that I didn't get on launch, because at the time I had relatively little interest in fire emblem as a series. then I made a lot of friends who enjoy it, and in october, bestie sen decided to buy it for me as an early birthday present. everyone say thank you sen.

considering this is my first fire emblem game, i have absolutely no deeper insight into how it matches up compared to the others, and plenty of people more eloquent than me have already talked about that. what I do know is that the gameplay was surprisingly fun as my first tactical rpg, and the story was passable. all the characters were appealing in one way or another, and I'm still mad I had to choose between marrying kagetsu or fogado. they're both my husbands at heart.

overall: I didn't internalize enough of this game to come up with a clever rating.

Fire Emblem Engage: Fell Xenologue (2023)

I was expecting the dlc to continue the main story, so I put it off until I had finished the base game. in hindsight, I regret it, because I'd love to have brought the winds and twins with me to fight their evil versions and alternate universe dad. the story was... alright. I really liked all the small battle interactions between fell characters and our party members which they would've known. I instantly recognized fogado in chapter 1 because I am in love with him by the way.

overall: i dont know. 1¾ dragonstones

with 2024 upon us, I'll probably be writing reviews for games as I play them. I'm trying to use tumblr more as a social platform instead of just reblogging. we'll see how that plays out. if you like any of these games (yes, even tears of the kingdom) please talk to me about them! that's all for now. look out for my mangled thoughts on SANABI and Nier: Automata next :)

[wisasslocs]

Ok I think I like the live action 😭 i was so ready to hate it but I honestly am having a good time relearning the characters in a different way!

They connect the crew together faster but they have more moments that really show why zoro and nami started to like Luffy which is nice not have to go through 50 episodes just to get a few plot points out of the way.

Koby!! My boy!! I was SO READY to diss on his character because in all honesty his character was whiny at the beginning (even in the anime too). BUT them introducing Garp early and allowing Garp to become a psueo parent to him is honestly so fucking cute 😭. They have a genuinely interesting relationship and its part of my favorite moments in the show 😭 Also the actor is doing a great job showing us how Koby grows more confident and sure of himself and its amazing!

Zoro i couldnt help but keep loving and Nami is so good! The actress that plays Nami is amazing!

I’m only on ep. 4 but a couple of gripes:

1. It a little 🤪 cringey. But in all honestly its kinda a given for a live action for an anime, some of the elements are going to come through but its just a little shocking to see live actors actually act out the fighting moves yell since we r so used to anime characters in a anime environment.

2. The characters that where HUGE in the anime are like meh. Not saying they werent great characters but its still disappointing to look at Arlong when he looks so normal size. A core element of what makes one piece so memberable is watching this tiny underdog go up against the biggest and the baddest and having the strength within to come on top all because of his determination and drive. Its just underwhelming some of the fights that are supposed to be so epic: biggest and baddest vs underdog rubberman! Who will win! I get that they probably tried their best with what they had but im allowed to complain a little i think.

3. There are MANY moments within the anime that was SO IMPORTANT! And it just gets… left out. Ok! I’m not saying that it has to be another series that is 1000 episodes long but in live action form but sometimes a scene is so powerful and to leave it out is not my cup of tea. For example im fine that they changed zoro eating the dirty rice balls in a different context. It worked in showing us that zoro is a good guy! But leaving out how Luffy got Koby in with the marines and how zoro, badly injured, tried to save luffy by carrying his cage showing us how loyal of a person zoro is bla blah blah. I think people will understand what im talking about if you watch/read the original source material.

The show is great to watch so far and brings a new spin on the characters without making them unrecognizable (cough* velma *cough). The actors are fantastic and the costumes are SO good. I’m loving them actually change clothes according to the new chapter they are on, i think they are inspired by the cover page art, its nicely paced and they do give a good representation of the anime/manga. And im glad im not hating it yet.

[adrianasunderworld]

I was thinking Jamil is jealous of Kalim getting some attention from Jasmine during chapter 4. Jamil clearly has someone in mind yet it ruins once Kalim gets along with him

Jamil: Say Jasmine, wanna- huh? *He eavesdrop on their conversation*

Jasmine: You really a fun person Kalim and even nicer than any of NRC students especially when most of them are egotistic and prideful.

Kalim: You really think so? That's awesome to hear, Jasmine. I always love meeting new people and meeting you is one of the best.

Jasmine: You remind me of my father, I don't know why. My father and I usually argue regarding who I will end up and my freedom, but I still deeply love him with his fun and energetic nature like you.

Kalim: Your father sounds like a sweet one, it makes me want to meet him too and telling him that he is lucky to have a daughter like you.

Jasmine: I am happy to let you meet him. We might go carpet riding.

Jamil just stared with glaring look as he didn't want him to be closer to her. Kalim doesnt have romantic attraction to her but it seems more friendly to her. I also feel when Kalim is in 180, he made sure that he says terrible things to Jasmine for her to hate her which made her upset and for Jamil to help her calm down.

Jasmine: You know, Jamil. You're a great guy, I wish there's a way I can help you and your family but I don't have that power.

Jamil: You don't have to worry, being servant means looking out for everyone especially a beautiful girl like you.

Jasmine blushed when he said and of course that time made her heartbroken once he realized he is using everyone. It makes me think Jamil and Jasmine didn't want to remember the kiss but some people kept reminding her.

Floyd: It's unfair that you get to kiss one of the princesses. Maybe I should overblot to get little mermaid to kiss him.

Jamil: You don't even have much negative emotions. And please don't make me remember that.

Tiana: I never thought you end up kissing him.

Jasmine: It's complicated but I don't know why but he seems better than someone I know but older.

Jasmine and Kalims relationship is 1000% platonic. Kalim is just way too much like her dad to view him in any way beyond that. Maybe Jasmine also reminds Kalim of one of his sisters, so he acts very brotherly towards her. Like if you didn't know them you would swear they were siblings.

But even so, even though Jamil knows this, he's already going off the deep end, and he's not going to give something else for Kalim. So when he has him go 180, he's particularly hurtful to Jasmine so Jamil can look even more like a better person than him.

It's in these moments that Jamil and Jasmine hit it off. I think out of all the ships, Jamil has come the closest to actually kissing Jasmine before the blot. Like they're talking and bonding, maybe Jamil makes the beautiful comment, they come so close, only to get interrupted by Grim or some Scarabia students needing help.

The thing is Jamil has always been interested in Jasmine. He saw her around all the time and wanted to talk to her but was always too busy to. Now that he's actually spending time with her, he likes her a lot and wants to go out with her. But this is book 4. We already know he's getting out of hand and so caught up in his plan to overthrow Kalim that he's seeing how much he's fucking that up.

After the events of Book 4, Jasmine acknowledges that Jamil is genuinely trying to do better and work on his relationship with Kalim. But even if she forgives, she isn't going to forget that easily. She's to tolerate Jamil around for Kalims sake, but their relationship is going to be strained all of Book 5, because she is rightfully pissed at him.

And yes Jamil has not known peace at basketball since then. Floyd will not let him hear the end of it and neither will Ace when he gets all the details.

Meanwhile at Ramshackle, they all want the details.

Anna: So how was it? Was it at least a good kiss?

Jasmine: Drop it. I'm not saying anything else on this.

Mulan: That means yes.

Jasmine: Shut up!

[missingn000]

Chapter 45 was so great! ✨️

The dynamic between Sukuna and Yuuji in TPG is so special to me.💖 I love the way you write it so much!✨️ Sukuna caring for Yuuji but being unable to show it to him (or anyone). The fact that he gave him a nice dream (that Yuuji probably saw as a taunt, some kind of "You'll never be this happy again" if he even figured out it's from Sukuna at all).

Yuuji trying to hide how much he suffers from his family (poor baby😔) is so sad yet so in character.

I love how Nanami tries to understand Sukuna and talks to him in order to help Yuuji. Like, it's not easy, Sukuna has the attitude of a feral cat that thinks it's God. Every single conversation he's a part of is painful for everyone involved (including himself), but Nanami still tries despite it all.

"I'll make the world hate me more than I hate myself." Sukuna is so lucky (or unlucky) that Nanami did not figure that one out.

"Have you ever considered that not caring is indeed possible, just not for you?" Nanami called him out so hard with this one.

Kenjaku get hit in the head with a brick challenge. I can't imagine being over 1000 years old and spending my time stalking a random family in order to ruin their lives and also to keep ruining the life of some dude (Sukuna). There is being a hater and there is whatever Kenjaku has going on.

Choso!✨️ The fact that he woke up and asked about his brothers before anything else is so cute and also so devastating at the same time (having no identity outside of being the oldest brother who must protect the younger ones must be tough) (but also how could he even have an identity outside of that, he was stuck in a tube in some basement).

Poor guy is not even 1 second old and is already experiencing gaslighting😔.

Uraume!🎉 Not here yet, but they're mentioned at least. "I love a bitch with a real frozen heart." Once Uraume appears is anyone gonna make a connection between the ice gremlin and every time Sukuna mentioned his love for the cold/ice? Because he does that in almost every chapter since he appeared. He said he loves them. King of not being subtle at all✨️.

I can't believe Yuki and Toji were this close to making it official only for Kenjaku to drop the "both of your ex wives died". Wow.

Yuki!💖 I love her so much! Her desire to be seen by Maki and Gojo as a mom, wanting to be called "mom" by them... It's very sweet, but also devastating knowing how much it hurts that both of them didn't tell her about Maki not being Toji's daughter.

The fact that Choso just approaches her and is like "prepare to die", but then has to remember why he is supposed to kill her💀. He is so funny without meaning to.

"This is for Riko." Wow, Kenjaku really went there. This is so unnecessarily cruel. He can act all he wants like his goal is to prove a philosophical point, but his actions are waaay past that. Tormenting Kuroi while wearing Riko's face, gloating to Wasuke, this whole thing just now... He must enjoy it to a certain extent, even if he doesn't want to admit it.

Poor Kashimo being stuck in that horrible work environment.😔 All they wanted was to fight Sukuna, but now they are discovering feelings and have to deal with Kenjaku on a daily basis.

✨️💖✨️

HIII I AM SO HAPPY YOU LIKED IT 💞 god yeah yuuji and sukuna are SO devastating huh. it's like watching a tragedy play out every time they interact. yuuji tries to hide how much he suffers, while sukuna disguises his suffering as cruelty and malice, and the one person to whom he occassionally shows the truth both doesn't believe him and doesn't care. nanami's curious, but it's closer to morbid curiosity -- like driving past a burning car on the highway and looking to see who's dying inside, even though you know it'll upset you. those three all make me so insane.

I AGREE, FUCK KENJAKU MAN. he's so cruel and for what?? it's such casual cruelty too, which makes it so much worse.

chosoooo! he has arrived!! but at what cost lol. he cares so much about his brothers and has constructed his identity solely around that. which is a major theme of the upcoming fight!!

URAUMEEEE<3 im glad you caught the reference lol. sukuna is so fucking funny, bro is not being subtle at all with his love declaration yet no one has a clue wtf he's talking about, like always. the most undersharing oversharer in the history of time.

tojiyuki omg ikr ;__; so close and yet so far. stay tuned for more developments with them!!