#and were just. being a hater about arm pit hair and hair care

[iammissingautumn]

i can’t believe that there’s genuinely people who judge people solely off of looks

[tae-cup]

A Mile in My Shoes | KSJ Oneshot

Pairing: Platonic!Seokjin x Reader

Summary: You hate Kim Seokjin, that arrogant bastard, and he hates you just as much...right?

Genre: Body swap!au, enemies to friends, Fluff, angst, Solo artist!Seokjin, Solo Artist!Reader

Warnings: N/A 

Rating: PG, content wise, teen for language

Word Count: 9k words

Network: @castlebangtan​

A/N: Yay! 100 followers celebration finale!!! Thank you everyone! I’ve got some other stuff cooking as well so hopefully I’ll be more active! 

Other: Masterlist

Kim Seokjin. You hate Kim Seokjin. Why? Well, it was sort of his fault. 

           The flashing lights of the award ceremony, the buzz of the crowd, the packed audience, did nothing to subtract your attention from the person on stage. With a bedazzled white t-shirt and violet purple hair, Kim Seokjin sang on stage. His charisma was no doubt exquisite and his singing technique was divine...but he was a total ass. 

            It suited him, being the number one pop star in the past year; and he was still growing. He was a prideful creature and had been sweeping the award shows, your awards being stolen from right out under you. You were sure that he was out for you ever since the misunderstanding a few years ago. 

          You weren’t actually sure why he still hated you. You had worked your ass off to try and fix what was wrong, but he had ignored you. So, technically, the feud that continued was childish and completely his fault.

            Alright, maybe you fed into it a little, but you were still annoyed and quite honestly tired of it. Jin was a handsome man. His personality was anything but. 

           You rolled your eyes as Jin did a hip thrust, to the screams of his fans. The cameras were still focusing on you throughout the experience, your feud well known. He came right up to the edge of the stage and looked you in the eyes as he spoke.

“Did you see my bag? Did you see my bag? My bag’s filled with trophies. How you think bout that? How you think bout that? Haters are already giving up. My success is already so golden-”

            You tuned him out, a small fire of rage boiling in the pit of your stomach. Why was he still holding onto this stupid feud? If anything was clear, Kim Seokjin hated you, and you hated Kim Seokjin. 

             The after party was a nightmare. You sat at the bar, drink sloshing around lazily in the glass. Heavy bass drummed against your frame. Kim Seokjin was the center of attention, his broad shoulders and puffy lips high above the crowd. 

“How are you feeling, Y/N?” A reporter shoved a microphone into your face. 

              You groaned, not responding. You had a terrible conscience. If someone asked you a question, you felt obligated to answer truthfully, maybe that’s what got you into this mess. It was just easier if you kept quiet. The last thing you wanted was to add onto the feud even more. 

              Seokjin surveyed you out of the corner of his eyes. You always stole the spotlight, even when he had swept the awards. You were still the one getting interviewed the most, getting the most press. They all wanted to know your reaction. He hated you for that. At the same time, he admired your self restraint. 

“Jin, what do you think about winning all the awards you were nominated for?” A reporter appeared. The broad shouldered man waved to the security. 

“Who let paparazzi in?” He muttered under his breath as the reporters were escorted out. 

               A part of Jin really missed being a newer artist, like you. He couldn’t just write and produce his own songs anymore, he had a team for that. Everything needed to be approved by the higher ups and he always had to be happy. Meanwhile, you had made a name for yourself by saying what you wanted and making the music you wanted. Sure, you didn’t win awards, but at least you had that freedom. And he was jealous of that. 

               He brushed away the revelation and weaved his way through the crowd. The party had died down a little and his little posse had trickled out. His little gang of friends had left or were doing something else. 

               Taehyung was with Jungkook ordering and consuming copious amounts of food. Namjoon and Yoongi, well known producers, were huddled over a notebook and whispering lyrics to each other. Hoseok and Jimin had each gone home early.

              Hoseok claimed he needed to practice, being the main dancer for Taehyung, and Jimin claimed he needed to check on his pets. You were sitting alone at the bar, ready to fall asleep, but your night wouldn’t be complete if you didn’t have a run in with Jin. 

“Drowning your sorrows?” Jin plopped into a seat, leaning against the bar with a smug smile. 

“Who says I’m drowning? I’m doing just fine.” You threw back the last sips of the drink. 

              He eyed the empty glasses littering the counter. The bartender was slowly going through and cleaning them up. Jin was a little worried, but he...he didn’t like you, as a person. You were self centered and hypocritical, but perhaps he was the same. 

“How many of those have you had?”

“Unimportant.” You gestured for the bartender to pour another and the man looked warily at you. 

“I think you should stick to water, miss.” The bartender smiled gently. 

“Nah.” You shouted, not realizing how loud your voice was. “Just do your job and pour another.” 

           Jin sighed and put a hand over your glass, gently peeling your fingers back. “No, he’s right.” He said sternly and handed the glass back to the bartender, who looked thankful. 

“You’re an asshole, Jin. Just let me be sad without gloating for once.” You deflated, slouching in your seat. He scoffed and looked away. 

“You’re just being a sore loser. I won every category I was nominated for. How many categories did you even get nominated for, let alone win?” He bit back, drumming his fingers on the table. 

“Fuck you.” You pointed at him, finger pressed hard against his chest.

          Then you stood from your seat, shouldering your bag, and stormed out. Your phone pinged with unseen messages, all from your manager. 

           Jin rolled his eyes, but he did regret his words slightly. It had been so long, he wasn’t even sure why he was mad at you anymore. Why were you in a feud with him anyway? The man checked his phone. Three schedule reminders popped up and he grimaced. It was already 1 A.M. and he needed to be awake in five hours. He stood and bowed, saying his goodbyes to his friends, and leaving the bar. 

             He waited outside for his driver to pull around the block. It was quiet, the muffled pounding of the bass inside the bar leaked out. He wished he had your guts once in a while, to just say what he wanted. He wished he could be like you, just for a moment.

             A light streaked across the sky, a comet passing by. His eyes widened in awe as the meteor shower began. It was...beautiful. 

-

             Meanwhile, you were lazing drunkenly over the window sill in your living room. The house was dark, the curtains open to allow for moonlight to trickle through. Some may be scared of the dark, but you always liked it. The peace of being alone, surrounded by nothing to distract you except your mind was appealing to you. Why? Who knew. You ran your finger along the dusty window sill. 

You glanced at your phone. Your agent had messaged several times. 

Why didn’t you win anything, huh?

Next time, you better win an award or…

They’re going to pull you from the label. 

They thought you were going to be big, Y/N. It’s such a shame.

So many people were rooting for you. Maybe in another life.

            You groaned and powered off your phone. How annoying. Your career was going down the drain, you had followers, but your music wasn’t getting the right platforms. It seemed that no matter how much you tried to get recognized, no one else cared. Your only worth was your feud with Seokjin. 

“Goddamnit, Jin. Would you lend me just a bit of fame? Just a little? Let me breathe, give me a break.” You hissed under your breath.

            You took a few steps back and collapsed onto your mattress. The meteor shower began, the brilliant streaks of white lit up the sky. It felt like the world was laughing at you, blessing you with such a beautiful sky on the worst night of your life. 

             This was not his house. Jin sat up straight. He felt different for sure, but then again, he did drink a bit last night. The man stood, wobbling slightly. How much did I drink? He thought, stumbling to the bathroom. Did he catch a ride with someone? He didn’t remember much. What did he do? 

“Hello?” He called out hoarsely, only to yelp in surprise. 

             His voice was high. High and female, definitely not his voice. It was also...familiar. Jin threw open the door to the bathroom hurriedly. He rushed to the mirror, only to shriek in surprise. 

              That’s not my face….OH MY GOD THAT’S NOT MY FACE. He internally screamed, stumbling back. You were staring back at him. He rubbed his arms and looked down at his body. He felt his cheeks heating up. Yup, this was...this was a woman’s body. But how?

                He slapped his hands over his cheeks. His face, his beautiful face! Okay, so that was a little vain. Jin studied himself. No, You were certainly...not hard to look at, that was for sure. He patted down his body. Then there was a ring from the bedside table and he vaulted over to pick it up. Your phone was ringing, his number flashing boldly. 

“Y/N?” He whispered. 

“Oh my fucking god, seokjin, what did you do this time?” His voice hissed over the line. 

“This has to be a nightmare. Oh god, please wake up.” He cried slapping his face. 

“Hey! Don’t ruin the merchandise!” You shouted. 

                 Then another realization hit him. You could ruin his career. He needed to accept that this was happening and get his priorities straight. You were in his body. You had all the power...and you hated him. 

“Nice clothes, Jin.” Your sarcastic drawl crackled through the speaker. Even he could hear it, despite it being his own voice. 

“They’re all custom fit.” He bragged, marching over to your closet. “What do you have in here? Trash? Oh, this could easily pass as a paper bag. Was beige in style when you picked it out?” He said snarkily, throwing some clothing behind him and onto the bed. He ignored your protests. 

“Jin! Get! Out! Of! My! Closet! Also you better not have touched my body you perv!” You shouted so loud that your voice broke off. 

“What? I’m just doing some reorganizing. Besides, you think I want to touch your body? You flatter yourself.” He said, throwing another beige item out of the closet. He pretended he didn’t hear you scolding him from over the phone. 

 “It’s like you only shop during fall and then go into hibernation.” He commented. “Which is likely, considering how many albums you’ve released.” He muttered, but oh boy had you heard him. 

“At this point, I don’t care, Jin.” You grumbled over the line. “I’m about to be dropped anyway.” 

              The beige sweater in his hands tumbled to the ground. Sure, he knew you had been struggling, but was it really that bad? He was at a loss for words. The man took a deep breath in. 

“Why?” He asked, concern evident. He slowly put down a pair of blue jeans. 

“I’m not as successful as they thought I would be.” You explained, defeat in your voice. “If I don’t win an award at the next show, I’ll be dropped. Also, why is Taehyung crashed on the couch?”

              His eyes widened. A lot of the group crashed at his mansion after a long night out. It was easier than driving them all to six different locations. 

“Shit.” He muttered. “Okay, just, just act normal, alright? I’ll be there soon and maybe we can explain this to them.” He whispered, hanging up and searching through your closet for a decent outfit. 

            This was not how you wanted your morning to go. You stood, dressed casually and waiting by the front door anxiously. Your arms were crossed and you tapped your foot. Taehyung stumbled around behind you. 

“So you’re telling me that you’re Y/N and not Jin?” He asked. 

“Yes.” You said shortly, having already explained it a million times. “You’ll see when he gets here.”

Taehyung took a seat at the counter, his blonde hair falling in waves around his face. He drummed his fingers on the marble surface. His dark eyes glanced you over. 

“How much did you drink last night, Jin? Are you feeling alright?”

“For the thousandth time, I’m Y/N, not Jin!” You huffed angrily. 

“Okay, okay, you’re Y/N then.” He held his hands up. “But just let me know when your little act is over, okay?” He winked. 

               You resisted the urge to scream in rage at his lack of understanding. With the twinkle in his eye and the mischievous look on his lips, you couldn’t tell if he was messing with you or genuinely not believing your story. Your lips twisted into a deep frown and you stalked over to him, ready to talk some sense into him when the door flung open. You turned around, face shifting. 

“Aish, a frown really doesn’t look pretty on my face.” A voice came from the doorway. Your voice. You were used to looking up at Jin, now you looked down. Was that really how you looked? You felt self conscious suddenly. 

“Are you trying to give me wrinkles before 30 or something?” Jin sighed, leaning against the door. “Besides, why didn’t you lock the door?”

“That’s my fault.” taehyung piped up, suspiciously looking between you. 

“Yah! Taehyung you really need to be more careful about that! What if someone tries to break in while I’m asleep! And technically, you’re breaking in.” Jin huffed. 

Taehyung’s eyes widened. “No way, that’s totally something Jin would say. Are you shitting me?” 

“I’ve been trying to explain this to you for the past 30 minutes, Taehyung.” You paced angrily. 

“It’s not breaking in if I have a key.” Taehyung smiled lazily, flashing the golden piece of metal. “But are you being serious? That you’ve...switched?” 

“Why else would I be talking to him.” You gestured to Jin with your head, annoyance staining your features. 

“This is why I don’t scowl.” Jin chimed in, walking over to you and smoothing out your face. “It looks awful.” His fingers brushed against your cheek. 

“Awful? I’m offended. This is my body you’re talking about.”

“Technically it’s mine. So don’t go commit arson or something while you’re in there.” Jin crossed his arms. 

“Trust me, I have bigger things to worry about and do.” You shot back. 

“Will you guys just shut up?” Taehyung slapped the counter, causing your attention to shift once more. “How the fuck are you guys going to change back? Jin, you have a million interviews this week about the awards show and Y/N has, I don’t know, songwriting to get to?” 

“Ah, fuck you to, Tae.” You frowned. 

“Am I wrong?”

“No.” You mumbled in response. 

“Anyway, I think I can fake it until we can figure this out.” You said, lifting your chin. “It won’t be too hard to act like a narcissistic ass who pretends not to be.” 

“Hey!” Jin shouted his protests. A ping from a cellphone caused you to jump. Jin recognized it and began to search his pockets before realizing he was you. 

              You seemed to get the memo and you pulled out the phone in your pocket. It buzzed with a calendar reminder. 

“An interview in an hour?” You said quietly. Then you dropped the phone onto the counter. “Oh my god, there’s an interview in an hour.” 

“It’s really weird to see such expressions on Jin’s face.” Taehyung mused. 

“Shit shit shit.” You, wait no, Jin said. “That’s the one to discuss the music in my album and talk about the awards show. Since it doesn’t seem like we’re going to solve this in an hour, don’t fuck it up.”

“Excuse me, it’s my album now and I will say what I like.” You pursed your lips. 

“I don’t expect you to understand the lyrics and songs in my album.”

“The lyrics written by your team of lyricists? Yeah, I won’t think twice about the meaning of ‘girl you look so fire’.” You air quoted. 

“You think you’re so much better because you write your own lyrics, huh? Well, it’s ridiculous. Stop trying to be an outsider when you’re very much in the public eye.” Jin stated, but his words held a ring of truth. 

                You were, indeed, very popular, why did you feel the need to be ‘special’ and pretend to be all unique and weird? It drove him mad and he counted it as another reason he disliked you. You didn’t respond to his statement, instead remaining silent. 

                Yes, you were fuming inside, but it was only because you felt like kicking yourself. There were so many times you had been offered premium spots, but you had turned it down, thinking it was too mainstream or times when you could have made a chart topping song and instead you chose the more casual songs. 

“Fine.” You admitted defeat. “I understand where you’re coming from. I’ll try my best not to fuck this up.” You said earnestly. “But in return, please just...don’t look through my desk.” 

“Why not?”

“It’s personal. Should there be another reason?” 

“Fine.”

“Do we have a deal?”

“Deal.”

            The interviewer was an idiot. He only ever asked you the most obvious of questions. There’s no depth or deeper meaning he’s looking for other than for you to gloat and cause more drama with...yourself. 

“You completely swept the show this year.” The man lightly clapped and you mimicked it. 

             You were already sweating under the pressure of the lights and the knowledge that you had to sound like Seokjin. Not only did you have to sound like Seokjin, but you also had to give the right answers. 

“That’s amazing. You’re one of the fastest growing artists of the century. It’s incredible, really. How does it feel, knowing that millions have their eyes on you?” 

              Suffocating. It’s so hard to breathe. Was this what it was like all the time? You almost felt bad for Jin, but at the same time you wanted to roll your eyes. The interviewer was just trying to butter you up so that you could spill any juicy secrets.

               Sadly, you don’t think he would buy the ‘I switched bodies with my arch nemesis and now we’re here.’ secret. 

                 Speaking of which, how did you get into this mess in the first place? And how were you going to get out of it? Was it something to do with your wish the other night? The meteor shower? But according to all the body swap movies you’d seen before, he must have wished for your life as well. Which seemed absurd. Why would the Kim Seokjin want to forfeit his life to body swap for some nobody artist like you? 

“It’s honestly such an honor, you know?” You tried your best to respond like him. You could almost see him face palming. “It’s surreal. I still can’t believe it’s happening.” You continued. “Everyone remember to stream Dynamite!” You plugged, flashing a dazzling smile. 

              It seemed to be the right move because the crowd went wild. 

“Now, Jin, you haven’t mentioned Awake, your latest song. I know Dynamite and Mic Drop have been huge successes, really, but Awake you rarely mention. Maybe you can give some insight into your thoughts behind the song? I know I want to know.” 

               Okay, maybe you were wrong. The interviewer was smart as shit. And now you had to analyze Jin’s lyrics. You had heard the song a couple times and it honestly wasn’t that bad. You could make something up and continue on with the interview. You remembered he mentioned once a while ago that it was completely written by himself, no lyricists, nada. So you supposed you should honor that. 

“As you know,” you started carefully. “Awake is one of the few songs completely written by me.” You kicked yourself for your wording, but forged onward. You took a deep breath, thinking for a moment.

 “It’s about...it’s about struggling with insecurities. I’ve always felt like my voice wasn’t good enough, my music would never make it, that I don’t cut it in the industry. I feared I would just be another pretty face stuck onto generic pop music.” You found yourself rambling, releasing some inner frustration you had in yourself. 

“Awake was my form of release. I pushed all my negative thoughts and energy into the song. My doubts, my fears, and what I long for. It speaks of my...my desperation to continue, even when I felt like things were bleak for me. Something inside told me to keep running, keep creating, and I did. That’s why I’m thankful I’m able to be where I am now.” You concluded. “And that’s why Awake is such a personal song to me.” 

               Obviously, a full lyrical and psychological breakdown of the song had not been what the interviewer was expecting, but he seemed pleased nonetheless. 

“Wow, so it must mean a lot to you?”

“Yeah.” You answered half heartedly, feeling emotionally drained from that speech. 

“So I heard from the daily idol that-”

                  His words muffled and you answered his questions monotonously. Why had you gone into so much detail? It was like a switch had been flipped. The lyrics weren’t bad. In fact, the song was good and you could see yourself easily sobbing over it, but it just had to be written by Jin. It was such a shame, yet at the same time, it showed that Jin could write meaningful lyrics if he wanted to.

                    The only reason he needed a lyricist team, you concluded, was pure greed and laziness. That only gave you more reason to dislike him, but, as the song said: My happy times asked me this question; You, are you really okay? it asked me. And after all of that, were you really okay with hating Kim Seokjin? 

Your phone pinged. You glanced down at the screen to see one text from Jin. 

Did you mean what you said?

                Jin was really hoping you hadn’t completely fucked his career. He was also hoping that your agent would stop texting you for one minute. Instead, he was bombarded with questions like ‘are you writing?’ ‘What are you doing to improve?’ ‘You better win more at the Grammys, got it?’ ‘Are you going to lose to Seokjin again?’ ‘Why aren’t you answering?’ 

                  He wanted to slam his head into a wall. Why would you ever put up with this? He mindlessly scrolled through earlier texts. At first, it seemed the relationship started off alright, but every now and then toxicity would come through on the agent’s part.

                   Soon enough, it just devolved into you not answering her texts and her berating you. From your attitude, however, her berating was as good as yelling at a wall. Even he knew that you wouldn’t budge. But...you loved your career. That was obvious enough. You loved your job, you loved making music. What would happen if that got taken away? 

                 Well, it wasn’t happening on his watch. He refused to be the reason you lost your job. So he did what he promised we wouldn’t. Jin searched your desk drawers. He had a feeling he knew what it was you were hiding, but he wanted to make sure. It was better to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission in this case.

                 He rummaged around before he pulled out an old and tattered, leather bound, notebook. Inside were songs and lyrics dating all the way back to when you would have been in middle school. The handwriting got progressively messier, but your lyrics were...beautiful. 

                  As he read over them, he was swept into another world. From cloudy skies to hazy summer afternoons, he read through your journey. The songs were cheesy at first, but then they slowly delved into darker subjects. 

                 You wrote your mental health struggles, your relationship issues, your anger, everything was placed in this one leather notebook. It felt wrong to hold this much power, this much information, in his hands. Yet, they were technically your hands. Did he feel bad? Yes. Was he ever going to bring it up? No, because he valued his life. 

“Y/N? Open up, I’ve got to brief you on the photoshoot!” A voice shouted from the front door.

                 Jin looked up, startled, and gently placed the journal where he found it. Then he rushed to the door. 

“Who are you?” He barked. 

“It’s Lisa, who else? Now open the door, we don’t have a ton of time!” Her voice was hurried, so he reluctantly opened the door. 

“A photoshoot?” He breathed, confused. 

“Yes, the big photoshoot for your comeback. Did you hit your head or something? This is all you’ve been talking about for the past month.” The girl, Lisa, rolled her eyes. 

“More like switched bodies with my worst enemy.” He grumbled. 

                The blonde haired girl narrowed her eyes and he remembered his place. You were doing a good job at pretending to be him and it hadn’t even occurred to you, it seemed, to try and ruin his career. So the least he could do was to return the favor. 

“What?”

“Sorry, nevermind.” He waved it off. How did you usually act with people? He never could tell. You were always snarky with him, but after reading your lyrics and walking around in your body, you didn’t seem to carry yourself that way. 

“Well, as your agent, I really need you to get it together, alright?”

“You’re my agent?” He gaped. After seeing the way she treated you, it was all he could do to stop himself from rushing at her. 

               But he wouldn’t have the same strength he had when he was in his usual body. It was a little concerning how casual and easy it felt to be in another person’s body. It was like it was growing on him and he didn’t like it one bit. Jin was getting comfortable and the feeling of unease had been lost on him. 

“Indeed I am. Y/N, are you sure you’re alright?” 

“I’m fine. Really.” He managed. The man settled himself on the couch while Lisa went over the requirements. 

“So we’re looking here for a more mystical approach. I know it’s a lot different from your usual no nonsense approach, but this could be good in repainting your image and getting you into more drama. A little birdy told me Jin is doing the same concept, so hopefully you’ll attract some buzz.” 

“Shouldn’t I…” He wasn’t sure how you spoke or treated your agent, so he fought for the right words. “Shouldn’t I look into distancing myself from the Jin drama?”

             To his surprise, your agent furrowed her eyebrows. Lisa seemed appalled by this. 

“Y/N. We’ve been over this. Jin is keeping you relevant, keeping you in the public eye. Your feud causes people to draw sides and therefore, we get more publicity. So don’t you understand? Jin is the reason you’re anybody.” the woman sniffed. “Focus on getting as many followers as possible before I set up the formal meeting to settle it, okay? Trust me, this is a mutually beneficial feud.” 

              Jin frowned. You had all these beautiful lyrics, songs that meant something. Was the feud really that important? 

“So I’ve got some reference photos here.” Lisa threw a pile of photos onto the table. Jin just stared. How did they get these? They weren’t even released yet.

“Where did you get these?” He still had to get used to the higher tone of your voice and it was quite honestly disconcerting. It felt like he was nervous all the time. 

“You know I have my connections.” She winked. 

             Jin picked up a laminated photo and turned it over in his hands. He didn’t know what to say, this was all insane. 

“Hello?” The woman snapped her fingers several times. “You okay? It’s like you’ve been replaced or something. Hellooooo? Y/N? Are you in there?” 

“You don’t know how right you are.” He mumbled. 

“What?”

                Jin blinked rapidly, trying to regain your sense of personality. Right, right, how did you usually act? He hoped he hadn’t just royally fucked you over. Sure, this may not be his body, but he felt a sense of responsibility, being the temporary caretaker. 

“Ah, nevermind, nevermind.” He waved it off with a little laugh. The woman narrowed her eyes at him, but continued on. 

“You’ll arrive on set at least two hours prior in order to get you all set up. Then we’ll shoot. You’ll have a fifteen minute break and then we’ll do it again. Then you’re free. I know it’s a lot harsher than you’re used to but-”

“That’s all?” He was happy to be in your place at this moment. You had it so easy! 

“Yeah, as I said, it’s a little intense but-”

“Pshhh I’ll be fine.” He reassured her and though she looked skeptical, she just nodded and gathered her things. 

“Be there, 6:00 P.M. Goodbye, Y/N.” She dipped her head and slipped out the door, slamming the wood behind her. The wall shook. 

“What a sourpuss.” He let out a sigh of relief and deflated, leaning against the couch. His phone buzzed. 

            Taehyung’s number flashed on screen. He mentally prepared himself and then picked up the call. 

“Hello Y/N, or should I say...Jin!” Taehyung’s mischievous voice crackled through the speaker. 

“God, I don’t need another reminder.” He grumbled.

            He had successfully pulled off the ‘I hate everything about this’ look. But in truth, he didn’t hate this. It wasn’t so bad and it was a nice vacation. 

“Yeah, yeah, anyway, I did some research and well, the truth is, I found nothing.” Taehyung admitted. Before Jin could register this reality, the man on the other side continued. “But there’s gotta be a time limit. Maybe some other kind of limit. I’ll look into it.” 

“Get on it, Kim.” Jin barked, growing tired of the conversation. “If you have nothing else important to say, just hang up.”

“Wow, so mean, Jin, to one of your closest friends too! Maybe Y/N was right about all that asshole stuff.”

“See!” You echoed from the background of the call. 

“Is that Y/N? Y/N! Get on the phone right now, we need to have a talk about this!” 

“Don’t you have a photoshoot in a bit?”

“Yeah, so?”

“Aw man,” Your voice came through clearer as Taehyung passed you the device. “I was really looking forward to it.” 

“Looking forward to stealing my concept?!” 

                 There was a long pause and you let out a long sigh. “I’m sorry, Jin. I didn’t know until last week and it was too late to change.” Your voice was soft, gentle, and, dare he say, guilty? 

                 He smoothed the wrinkles between his brows and paced between the couch and coffee table. 

“It’s fine. You obviously don’t control your life.” 

                  You actually felt hurt by that. Your expression went stony and cold, your grip on the device tightened. 

“Yet you’re the one with every single part of your day scheduled down to the second.” You pulled the phone away bitterly to look at the piling notifications. 

“It helps keep me on task.” He defended lamely. 

“Why? It just seems...stressful. You have no free time. Honestly, it’s reckless, that’s what it is. One day you’re just going to collapse. You’re such an idiotic ass, you know? And don’t think I can’t feel the soreness in your muscles, Jin, because I can-” 

                 His hands clenched into fists. Who were you to judge his lifestyle? Sure, he’d made fun of your wardrobe, but he hadn’t tried to insult you as...a person. 

“-If I stop moving, I feel restless. It’s better to just wake up and gogo go until I can’t, then fall asleep. Do it all again. If I stop moving, it feels like death. Was that what you wanted?” 

“No Jin, I didn’t mean to pry I-”

“Just stop talking. I never thought I’d see the day I was sick of hearing my own goddamn voice.” He said coldly and hung up.

              You didn’t understand at all. And how could you? Sure, you were in his body, but it wasn’t like you had the years of training instilled in your brain or the knowledge that he accumulated through the time he’d been a star. He checked the time. The photoshoot was soon, and he planned to be there right on time. 

  “Why did you give me the stupidest smile.” You groaned, arm falling over your eyes in embarrassment. 

“Hey, I work with what I got and I worked you hard. This just must be all you got.” Jin huffed, leaning back in his chair. “And what was up with that speech about Awake?” 

“I meant every word.” You said firmly.

            He was quiet for a moment, not having a retort. You didn’t like dragging things out and it was bound to come out sooner or later. 

              What terrified you was how easy it was to be Jin. It was like trying on clothes, but these fit better than anything you’d ever worn. Sure, it had been disorienting in the beginning, but now you’d learned so much about Jin. How he liked his coffee, what shoes he wore for which events, what his favorite shirt was, how he treated his staff, etc. The more you found out about Jin, the less you had to hate about him. Still, his ego was insufferable. 

                The whir of the fan in the room rotated and filled the silence. The greenery of his house was nice, but you preferred the ‘I’m poor and want to be fashionable’ feel your apartment had. Thus, you had agreed to meet with Seokjin to discuss the situation at his, your, place. You didn’t want to think about him rooting around your things, but honestly at this point, you might as well be naked around each other. It wasn’t like you hadn’t seen it by now. 

“I keep thinking about that night, Y/N.” Jin mumbled. “Why were we switched that night?” 

                  You remained silent, pulling your arm away from your face and staring at the white ceiling. There was a crack in it that ran all the down the hallway. The paint was fading as well, giving away to the garish blue you had covered a year ago. There was still a stain in the left corner because Jennie had once projectile vomited up there when she had too much to drink. You shuddered at the memory. 

“Maybe it had to do with the meteor shower.” You shrugged. 

              The new depth of your voice wasn’t disconcerting anymore and seeing him walking around in your body was fine, as long as he wasn’t screwing anything up, you could care less. 

“Maybe.” He hummed in response. 

“You know I still hate you.” You said, but you weren’t sure. 

               You wanted it to be that way, desperately, but nothing could be the same after whatever this was, was over. You wanted to go back to hating Seokjin’s guts. 

“I do too.” He responded, but there was a lack of bite. 

“I hate you. I hate your arrogant ass, your ego, and your guts.” You rolled over, locking eyes with him.

               He was gazing at you, amusement in his features. You thought that you should look amused more often. Since the feud broke out, you usually wore a scowl or frown. 

“But I hate myself more for being jealous of you.” You pointed at him. “Don’t you understand? Having an ego is a blessing. Being arrogant is a privilege. Normal people don’t get to just go around, brag about their accomplishments and be rewarded for that.” 

                   He laughed softly, the high pitched noise tingling your ears. There were parts of him that showed through, even when he was in your body. 

                 The first was his mannerisms. They were always more egotistical than what you usually went for. It was like he physically couldn’t choose wording that sounded humble. 

                 The second was his smile. He still smiled the same way, lips peeling back to reveal pearly white teeth. It looked so unnatural on your face, but it suited him, always had. 

                 The third and final one was his laugh. He would still laugh the same squeaky windshield wiper laugh. It was contagious. 

                   The man stood and took your finger, which was still pointed at him, and slowly lowered it. He wrapped his hands around your own and held on tightly. 

“Now why would you be jealous of me?” 

                You forgot his eyes. Despite them being yours, his eyes did not change. In his eyes, you saw sincerity, an emotion you once thought too complex for him. 

“I’ve lived in your body for well over a week, Jin. You have a busy schedule and I’m exhausted at the end of every day, but...there’s security in that. You don’t have to feel like you’re hanging onto the end of a string that’s about to break 24/7.” 

                He nodded, seemingly mulling over your words. 

“I’m jealous of you, Y/N.” The man said. It was so odd seeing words forming from your lips that you had not made. “I’m jealous of the way you can do what you like, the way you can speak your mind and no one cares. I’m jealous that you can make the music you want. Y/N, I’m jealous because your lyrics are beautiful, meaningful, and you’re allowed to sing them.” He continued on gently. 

“You saw my lyrics?” Your throat went dry. 

             Those lyrics were your safe haven. They had been invaded by foreign eyes, yet you didn’t really mind it. He was in your body, living your life. He would have found it sooner or later. 

“Yes, I did.” He dropped your hands. “I’m sorry, I know I said I wouldn’t-”

“No, Jin, it’s...it’s okay.” You smiled. Your gaze wandered, trying to looked anywhere but him.

“Now where do we go from here?”

“We just do our best, I think, roll with the punches.”

“The awards show is only a week away.”

“Then we do our best.”

“And if we don’t ever change back?”

“Jin,” You caught him firmly in your gaze. He froze and you wondered if that’s really what you looked like when you blushed. “We’ll do our best and everything will work itself out, I’m sure of it.” 

“I trust you, then.” 

              The makeup artist brushed another streak of gold across your cheekbones. You held perfectly still. 

“Almost done!” The artist squeaked, brushing over your chin now. The fine tips of the brush tickled your face and the gold dust floating through the air made you want to sneeze. 

               The roar of the crowd was a dull thud in the background next to your heartbeat. You were up next, the act before you just finished up. You could see the stage and the lights set for your turn.

               You had spent the past week memorizing every detail, memorizing the lyrics, practicing your instrument of choice. It had been hectic, but it would be worth it. You were going to show the world you were a changed person. You took a deep breath, shaking out your arms and legs as the makeup artist drifted away. 

                 You tried not to sweat or breathe too heavily as the large screens lit up to announce the next artist. As much as you wished it was your name showing up on that screen, it was not. Your name would be later in the program. No, right now, you were Kim Seokjin, superstar, worldwide handsome, and the most awaited performance of the night. 

“Kim. Seok. Jin.” The announcer said, letting the stadium fill with cheers. You could only ever dream of this success and you thanked Jin for lending you his body. 

                     On the stage, a grand piano rose to the top. It was empty, just waiting for someone to play it. You knew he was watching in the audience, waiting for his song to play, waiting to see how you sang it. You were thankful his vocal capabilities carried over to you through his body. You walked on stage and it was so quiet, you could have heard a pin drop. The audience was rightfully confused. 

                   The past week, you had been brainstorming a way to make his piece stand out against the generic pop songs of the others. Blaring music just didn’t seem...it didn’t seem right for this song. It deserved a slower, more subtle production. So you set about learning it on piano. You had practiced until well into the morning every night and you were exhausted, but you knew it by heart. 

                   You sat on the bench, the wood creaking loudly. It was like the audience had faded away and you were alone, practicing over and over, singing until you couldn’t any more. You smoothed out your pants and took a deep breath, hands hovering above the keys. Then you looked at the camera and gave his signature wink. Which led to a roll of laughter and shrieks from the crowd. Then it went quiet once more. You could have sworn you heard his laugh. 

                   You played the first chord. Then the next. No going back now. Contrary to the audience’s belief, no dancers would come out halfway through, the music wouldn’t suddenly kick in. No, this would be the breather, the quiet song amidst the chaos. You took a deep breath, begging and praying for his godly stable vocals. 

“It’s not that I believe it, but that I want to try holding out. Because this is all that I can do.” You began to sing Awake. 

                  The song that helped bring you closer to its creator, the song that reminded you of the beginning of this mess. Yet, it no longer felt like a mess and more like a blessing. You had never thought it would be going on this long, though. Maybe Jin was right, maybe this would be forever? You played the next notes, hands dancing over the keys in a practiced and steady rhythm.

Three Years Ago

“Oh, Jennie, please can you grab my lyrics? I left them on the desk, they’re really messy so you should recognize them!” You called to your friend. She nodded and hurried back inside to fetch the papers. 

                  At BigHit Entertainment, you planned to be a producer, nothing else. You wanted to produce music, make tons of money off royalties, and retire early. That was the plan, until they suggest you try out to be an idol. 

                  You didn’t work well in a group, far too stubborn, so they set you on the solo track. You were currently writing your first album and your debut was coming up fast. 

                   The entirety of your body ached. Your legs were sore from running and your feet hurt from standing all day. Your arms screamed in pain when you tried to lift anything due to the amount of dance practice you’d been in.

                    The thing that was the worst, was your throat. You weren’t a singer, okay. You sang a bit, but not a ton, and even with vocal lessons, singing for upwards of four hours a day was taxing on your body. The things that really helped were your friends and sleep. 

                     Sadly you got neither of those things. Without being in a girl group, you barely knew anyone and you had maybe four hours of sleep a night with studying and practice. Besides, you had maybe one person you could consider a friend; Jennie. And you had another you could consider a rival.

                       Kim Seokjin. Multi-talented, sculpted like the gods, and arrogant as shit. He only ever rolled his eyes when you were around and he never had anything nice to say to you or anyone else. He kissed ass as well. Just another thing you hated about him. 

Okay, so hate was a strong word, but you very much disliked him. He just never seemed to like your guts, no matter what you did. At first, it had been intimidating, but now it was just annoying. 

“Well, well, well, Y/N.” Speak of the devil. 

“Just get it over with.” You groaned, turning to face the handsome prick. “What do you want?” 

“Just some company.” He said innocently. “I’m waiting for the bus to the dorms as well.” He explained, brushing a hand through his hair. 

“Sure. Well, I hope you enjoy silence, because that’s what I love best.” You dug around your bag and withdrew your earbuds. 

                  You plugged in your phone and popped in one bud just as Jennie came running back. She was barely sweating, even after running up and down the stairs for your notes. Cardio was intense for the more dance based girl groups. 

“Here you go!” She said, oblivious to the tension around you and Jin.

“Oh thank you.” You shot her a weak smile. 

“Bye!” She waved, rushing out the door to her waiting members. 

                    You watched her leave, begging her to stay with your eyes. Once her van was pulling out, you sighed. Great, now you were stuck with Jin. You glanced down at the papers. Oh shit. These are not your papers. You cursed under your breath. 

“Whatcha got there, Y/N?” He broke the silence, peering over your shoulder. 

                      You immediately slapped the papers to your chest. What if he thought you were stealing? When could you sneak back and put them away? 

“Let me see.” He whined, craning over your shoulder before finally stepping in front of you. “Is it lyrics? It’s okay, I just want to hear!” 

“N-no!” You stuttered, folding up the papers. “Just schoolwork I forgot.”

            He narrowed his eyes, the playful look gone. Maybe you should have just told the truth. 

“Show me what you have in your hands, Y/N.” He said darkly, his voice smooth and monotone.

             You felt like a child about to be scolded. When you didn’t respond, he reached forward and plucked it out of your hands. 

“Oh I see. So now you’re just stealing from me.” 

“What? No!”

“Then why do you have my lyrics in your hands?!”

“I was going to return them I swear!” 

“Yeah, right.” 

Before you could explain yourself, he strutted outside. “I won’t forget this, Y/N.” 

              A paper fluttered to the ground and you rushed to pick it up, but he was already gone. The paper was in a puddle and you hurriedly scooped it up. The ink was already ruined. At the top of the page, the words Awake by Kim Seokjin were bleeding down the page. 

               The audience was hushed, confused by the somber tone. Still, many people had smiles on their faces or perhaps a little tear in their eyes. You continued the song to the end. The melody carried over the quiet stadium like a ghost. The haunting appeal drew more in every second. Televisions from around the world tuned in to watch, eyes glued to the screen. So this is what it feels like to have the world’s eyes on you. 

                 Backstage, Jin watched the performance silently. His eyes remained on the screen, even through his makeup and wardrobe. His own sweet voice pierced the room. Was that how he sounded? He always joked that he was ‘the best singer’ but in his heart, he never believed it. The man smoothed down the dress. It complimented your body well, and he was reminded that this was indeed your body and not his. 

                 Whenever someone called ‘Jin’ or ‘Y/N’, both of you would turn around. It was actually pretty funny to watch. Your agent cursed. 

“He’s going to sweep the awards again with a ballsy performance like that.” Lisa muttered. 

“I never knew my song could be sung like that.” He murmured. Then he straightened up, playing your part dutifully. “It’s too slow, honestly.” he rolled his eyes and Lisa snickered along with him. 

“Half of the staff are sleeping.” Lisa mused, before turning back to check over her list. 

Jin took a deep breath. “Lisa.” He turned to the woman, who didn’t even look up. “I want to end the feud with Jin. It’s unnecessary and hurting my career and reputation beyond repair.” 

              The woman blinked a few times. Then she laughed. 

“That’s hilarious. If you can somehow convince Jin to let that happen, then by all means, be my guest, but I’m sure he also realizes how necessary you are to building his career.” 

“I’m sure he’ll agree.” He said coldly, lacing his fingers together. Lisa narrowed her eyes before turning back to her list. 

“Like I said, only if you can convince him, because I won’t.” 

-

              The piano slowly faded to silence. You held your breath, standing and bowing. It was quiet for a moment, then a roll of applause fell over the audience. It felt like waves crashing over your body. You smiled sheepishly, blowing a kiss to the camera for fanservice points. Then you exited the stage where Jin, I mean, you, were getting ready to go on next. 

                 He eyed you as you stepped out. Then, just as you were about to slip by, he grasped your arm. 

“Good job.” His voice was quiet. You nodded at his words, taken off guard. He dropped his hand and you softly whispered back.

“I never stole your music, you know.” You said, saying what had been on your mind for the past three years. 

“I know.” He said, his grin fading. 

“Good.” You said stiffly. “Good luck out there, Y/N.”

He shot you a cocky smile and strutted out on stage. 

 “For best artist of the year, the nominees are…” The announcer stood on stage, a golden envelope in hand. “Kim Seokjin.”

                A roar of applause came from the crowd and fangirls squealed loudly. You winked at the camera and then face forward. A short montage of Jin played on screen. 

“Y/L/N Y/N.” 

              You watched a compilation of yourself and applauded their work. They made you look pretty nice. There was a similar ripple of applause. 

“Kim Taehyung.” 

               The same occurred, but he remained stoic throughout the montage. His eyes flicked warily over between you and Jin. 

“And Jeon Jungkook.” 

                   Rinse and repeat. 

                   You held your breath. 

“And the winner is…”

                    You made eye contact with Jin across the way. You were seated directly in front of the stage and he was seated further to the left. He smiled and nodded. You felt your heart rate accelerate. Was it you? It was the last award of the night, it had to be you. And yet, you would never feel that rush of applause, never get to make that speech, because of this stupid curse. Maybe it was your fault for wishing it. 

“Y/L/N Y/N!” The announcer shouted and you watched Jin stand from his place. 

                       You watched him step up the stairs careful not to trip on the dress, and take a stand at the microphone. In his hands was a trophy, it’s cool metal gleaming. How many times had you wished to hold that trophy? To feel the weight of it in your hands. 

“Hello.” He spoke, the mic rang a little and he chuckled. “It is such an honor to be receiving this award. I would like to thank my parents, for supporting me,” Now that was a bold faced lie, but you let him off the hook. 

“My agent, for helping to boost me to success, and all the hardworking staff at BigHit for making this dream come true.” 

                        It was the usual speech. Boring. You would have made it far more memorable. You tried your best not to let jealousy blind you in this moment. 

“But my real speech here is for anyone who feels they can’t do what they like. You see, I know a girl who writes beautiful lyrics, lyrics that take you to another dimension and music that does the same.”

“Yet, our industry does not reward simply passion for the craft, it rewards your dedication to your company and the ability to follow directions.”

“We, as artists, need to learn how to inspire confidence in ourselves and others, so that we can make the music we want to.” He took a deep breath. “Your greatest fear...maybe even your greatest enemy,” He found your eyes in the crowd. 

“May be your greatest weapon.” 

                 And in that moment, he took a step forward towards the mic and you felt a tugging sensation. You blinked and you were standing at the mic, your eyes trained to the crowd. 

                     You were you again. And you got to enjoy the standing ovation, the swell of the crowd like a rising tide. Yet, your eyes still went to him. You didn’t hate Kim Seokjin anymore. 

                     You admired him, you were jealous of him, but you found yourself liking him. That laugh of his, which you would have thought annoying, was now a tally mark of reasons why you enjoyed his company. 

                      You found him in the crowd, despite the dimness of the lights. He was still seated, getting his bearings. A smile easily made its way onto your face and you met eyes. The man simply smiled at you and raised his glass. 

Maybe I, I can never fly I can’t fly like the flower petals over there Or as though I have wings Maybe I, I can’t touch the sky Still, I want to stretch my hand out I want to run Just a bit more

 Some people I wanted to tag! @youarejesting​ @moccahobi​ @yoongi-sugaglider​

[mediocre--writing]

Hey! I just read a couple of your drabbles and I LOVE THEM!💙💙

So if you don't mind, could you please do a Harringrove drabble/ficlet based on either of the two (or a mix of both, if you can) Twenty One Pilots songs "Tear in My Heart" and/or "Smithereens"?

Because, for me, Tear in My Heart is very Billy and Smithereens is very Steve👉👈

Thank you!!💜

Ok so love this and you have an amazing mind, just so you know.

This is like a 2 in 1 fic post so :))))

So smithereens and steve work so well together, like

“I go step to a dude much bigger than me/ for you I know that I would get messed up, weigh 153/ For you I would get beat to smithereens”

Like this is just Steve's personality. He got into a fight every season and barely ever wins without intervention. And like i could see him just being so overcome with emotions that he just does what he knows, which is self destruct.

Like with his fight with Jonathan, he almost accepts that Nancy was too good for him and thinks that he might as well take other people with him.

Then with Tommy in the parking lot, it’s not really a fight, but it shows that he has a conscience and fixes his mistakes.

Then with his fight with Billy, he only tries to protect the kids, even if he’s losing miserably.

I could 100% see steve having snuck into billy’s room during the night once (before he really knew about neil), not to do anything nefarious, but just that he had a really bad nightmare, because there was a small power outage, and billy is really good at helping him sleep afterwards.

And let's just say that Billy's alarm clock (which is always set for 5:30am, half an hour before Neil wakes up just to give him peace of mind) doesn’t go off because of the power outage.

And Neil comes to wake up Billy for school because he hasn’t woken up yet, and sees Billy spooning Steve and both boys are snoring and pressing bare chest to bareback, and so deep asleep that Neil lets them sleep, letting them wake up on their own.

And they do. Billy wakes up around 8am, feeling insanely well rested. He smiles and squeezes Steve before turning to sit up from his bed to look at his alarm clock, that’s blinking on and off and reads 3:18am, but the sun’s up and… the house is quiet.

Billy feels the dread settle deep in his chest, and swears he could cry if he were .000000001% more worried.

He hears the creaking of work boots walking around the house and knows, just from the tension lingering in the air, that it’s just an angry Neil pacing in the kitchen/ dining room and waiting for Billy to wake up.

He doesn’t know whether to wake Steve up and tell him to escape out of the window and run or just let him lay there anyway, it’s obvious that Neil already saw.

He let’s Steve sleep and throws a shirt on and slowly walks out of the room into the pits of hell, seeing Neil turn to him with an angry face a brighter shade of red than a firetruck.

As slurs are screamed and Billy is thrown into the walls and has family tchotchkes launched at his face, Steve wakes up after a particularly painful shove makes the wall shake, pushing a single picture frame fall off the wall on the other side.

Steve shoots up after that loud bang and hears a wail and muffled yelling before something else hits the wall. He grabs his shirt and puts it on as he walks out the bedroom door, seeing glass shattered on the hardwood leading to the family room, but what he sees around the corner is so much worse.

Billy’s bleeding in about twenty different spots, body curled in a ball in the corner of the kitchen, Neil standing over him, but turning to Steve with a grin.

Steve feels his blood boil as dots connect and loose ends are tied up, making the connection between Billy's bad nights and the new bruises he’ll sport under his shirt. The way he tries to hide it when he flinches at loud, authoritative men who are bigger than him. Why he told Steve to never call his house and why he is the way he is.

So Steve doesn’t think for another second before launching himself at Neil, slamming him into the floor, but that’s about as much as he wins that fight, because Neil is slamming him back and beating him the same way he did his son.

And billy, let’s admit it, is probably much stronger and a better fighter than his dad, but it’s so hard to fight back against an abuser that has controlled your life for so long. Even when you know you could win and that they deserve it, neil hargrove is still his dad and he could never get it into his head to hit him back.

But Steve was trying too hard to take him down because he was doing the wrong thing and losing terribly, never having won a fight once in his damn life.

Billy’s sitting up against the wall, ribs in excruciating pain and vision blurry, but he sees Steve getting up and kicking Neil once before backing up, and Billy sees his camaro keys in the dish by the front door.

So he stands up as fast as he can, ignoring the dizziness as if that would make it go away, grabs steve’s arm and shoots to the door, grabbing the camaro keys and shooting outside

He takes the driver’s seat, despite his dizzying head, just knew that he’d have to drive for a few miles then they could reevaluate, and Steve was clumsily getting into the passenger side.

Billy had only just started the car when Neil came rushing out the door, screaming threats and slurs as if that would make them stop their escape.

The camaro backed out of the driveway and shot down cherry lane in record time, going to the center of town, the least likely place Neil would cause a scene.

It isn’t until Billy puts the car in park that he can bear to look at steve.

He’s got a bloody nose and his shirt sleeve is torn off, hair disheveled from both sleep and the fight.

But billy looks so much worse.

He’s still hunched to the left from his ribs, he’s got tons of cuts along his arms, legs, and face from, what steve suspects, the broken glass on the floor. He’s also got this wild-animal-look in his eyes. One that screams, I escaped alive, but at what cost?

“Bill-”

“Why’d you do that?”

“Why-- I’m sorry are you asking me why I attacked your dad when he was kicking you while you were, literally, on the floor?”

“Ye--no, I-- but you got hurt, why’d you do that?”

“Billy, what did you expect me to do?” a shrug is all he gets in response--”If you saw my dad doing that to me, can you honestly expect yourself to stand there and watch it happen, or walk away and let it happen?”

Billy turns to face the grocery store--Melvad’s-- that they were parked in front of.

“It’s all weaving together in my head. All the bruises, the jumpiness, how you like to control things, it all makes sense, but what doesn’t make sense is why you wouldn’t just tell me, Bill,”

“And what exactly would you have been able to do about it, huh? You gonna take care of the situation or some shit, Steve? Trust me, I’m used to it and--”

“But you shouldn’t have to be ‘used to it,’ Bill, that’s abuse, and you don’t deserve that shit, not ever,”

Their conversation is halted by a tap on the glass by Steve's window, and the boys turn to see Joyce Byers looking more motherly than ever.

Steve rolled the window down.

“The hell happened to you boys?” she asked but corrected herself with a shake of her head, “Doesn’t matter, just come in to clean up, we’ve got bandages and antiseptic, free of charge,”

Billy wiped away the tears he didn’t know had formed and nodded to her, “We’ll be out in a minute, Mrs. Byers.”

“Joyce, please,” she demanded softly.

“Joyce, of course,” Billy offered a subdued smile.

She walked off and Steve rolled the window back up.

“Thank you,” Billy spoke quietly after a moment. “I’m glad he didn’t hurt you worse,”

“Billy, for you I would get beat to smithereens,”

“Well of course you would, you weigh like 100 pounds, not like you could put up much of a fight,”

“Hey! I gave him a black eye, thank you very much!”

“Oh, well, my bad, baby, then maybe you weigh 150, huh?”

Steve grumbled from the passenger seat, “153,”

Billy chuckled and grabbed Steve's hand over the console, locking eyes and smiling at each other, enjoying their small moment.

“We should probably get in there before Joyce comes out herself?” Steve sighed as he moved to take his hand out of Billy's.

“One more minute, please,”

Steve just tightened his grip on Billy's hand and moved towards the center of the car to rest his head on Billy's shoulder, Billy's head falling onto his.

-

Billy and Tear In My Heart thooooooooo

Like it fits him so well, again this is amazing.

I also see billy as a resident hater of america and it’s fucking government becuase, well, they have a history between his myriad of speeding tickets and, oh what was it, oh yes, the tentacle monster that impaled and possessed him.

And in California, there’s no cold weather where he lives, so there’s not exactly potholes to avoid.

The first time he drives into the cooler states and has to avoid potholes, he decides that his car deserves a vacation after this.

But the potholes become the biggest issue after he and Steve start dating.

He’s absolutely enamoured by this boy, because who wouldn’t be. He respects Billy's limits and can hold his own in arguments, and they fit together like missing pieces of a puzzle.

Steve has changed Billy, not that he’d admit it, but he’s softer now and all of his sharp edges have been baby-proofed. They’re still there and dangerous, but they’re more difficult to be stabbed by.

All the cracks in his heart have been filled with gold, like Kintsugi (a Japanese technique of repairing broken pottery with gold).

And Billy can complain and complain about Steve's clinginess, about his intrusion into his life, and his persistence to stay, but deep inside Billy's never felt more loved or cared for in his life.

But these damn potholes might just make him lose it.

Because billy is anything but a bad driver, he can control the car even when it’s going 45 over the speed limit, but now that steve falls asleep after their movie dates or when they’re coming back from barbeques with the party, Joyce, and Hopper, he’s driving the speed limit.

Which is just appalling.

But some of these potholes are so deep you could dive into them and not hit the bottom.

Like what the fuck, Indiana?

And, one time, Max is with them after a barbeque when Steve falls asleep and Billy slows the car down to what feels like snail speed, but is just the speed limit.

“Why are we going so slow?” Max asked as she leaned forward from the backseat to whisper to billy.

“Steve’s sleepin’,” he said, as if it was the obvious reason.

“You’re whipped,”

“Shut up, Shitbird,”

Max leans back into her seat with a grin on her face at the absolute mush her big, tough brother has turned into for Steve Harrington.

[knight-ingale]

Chapter 5, Near-Death-Experience

Heyyy y’all! Sorry, I wanted to post earlier today (and with an update/warning so y’all could see it was coming) but a lot of... stuff(?) has happened this weekend. Hope you all enjoy regardless! ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*---~---~---~---~---~---~--- *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“So,” you ask, leaning into the middle console, “What happened?” Bella purses her lips for a moment. 

“Um… a lot?” She starts, eyes still locked on the road, “He said ‘hi’ to me at the beginning of class, I guess, so that was new.” You nod, “He also called me Bella instead of Isabella, but no one else has done that? Like… he even corrected Mr. Banner when he called me Isabella.” You shrug, holding your head in your hand as you lean back against your door.

“Maybe since we’ve been here for a bit, he heard from everyone else you like being called Bella?” Bella nods, though her expression was disbelieving.

“Maybe,” she concedes, “But I don’t think so?” You shrug, making a movement with your other hand to queue her onwards. “He asked me a lot of questions, I guess. He tried to make small-talk about the snow at first, but I don’t like snow. He figured it was difficult for me to live here in Forks. Said I was ‘hard to read’ for some reason.” You shrug again, though she couldn’t see it. 

“Well, he doesn’t really know you, right? Just because Mom and I can read you doesn’t mean someone new can, I suppose.” She sighs, 

“That makes sense, I guess. But… there’s something else.” You lean away from your door to sit up straight. 

“Well?” you prompt after a short silence, “What is it?” Bella’s fingers tap against the wheel anxiously. 

“Well… have you noticed his eyes? The color change, I mean.” You freeze. Edward’s eyes had changed too? You noticed Jasper’s since he sat next to you, but you hadn’t noticed his brother’s change from across the room during lunch. Bella glances at you, “What? What’s wrong?” You shuffle in your seat, leaning back against the door with your arm.

“Well… I just.. I noticed the same thing with his brother, Jasper. He sits next to me in Psych. His eyes used to be really dark. Like, really dark. Now they kind of match his hair, like a golden color. I didn’t say anything about it, but it’s kinda weird.” Bella is obviously surprised by your comment. 

You drive the short rest of the drive home in contemplative silence.

You’re able to get most of your homework done before dinner, and Bella helps you with the Algebra after dinner. Dinner, speaking of, was the usual silence you were now used to. You doodled for a while before you decided to go to bed. 

The next day, you woke up to a surprise. The overcast, green-tinted light you were used to waking up to had cleared into bright, filtered light. You got dressed before you looked out the window and walked back to your closet to get your boots. On the other side of the glass, there was a snowy and frozen wonderland. Fern-like designs of frost hugged the edges of the glass on your window, every needle was coated in crystalline ice. The driveway had become an ice-trail of possible future concussions and a trip to the ER.

You came downstairs to see Bella making a bowl of cereal. You gasped in horror when you saw her drink orange juice straight from the carton while making your own cereal when she finished her own bowl. Bella sat in her chair practically vibrating with nervous energy as she waited for you to be done with your breakfast. 

“What’s with you?” You ask, shoveling another spoonful of Cheerios into your mouth while Bella gathers her thoughts. 

“I guess I’m just, kind of excited?” You nearly choked on your cereal. Y/n Swan, the beloved sister, died by shocking news and breakfast. A little ball of dread reappeared in the pit of your stomach. 

“Excuse me,” you ask, still coughing a little bit, “But why on Earth?” You already knew the answer as soon as she nearly killed you with your own surprise and food, but you asked anyway. 

“I… Agh, I know it’s stupid!” Your sister admits sheepishly, “But… I guess to see him.” You scoffed, this time not nearly dying.

“Yup, sounds very, very stupid. You shouldn’t trust someone who lies about their eyes,” You note, raising your eyebrows at Bella. She nods her head, but you can tell her attitude hasn’t changed much. You sigh and finish off your milk before standing to rinse your bowl out in the sink. You and Bella grab your bags and prepare to leave, fearing the worst for the journey ahead. 

You guided Bella to the very front of the truck, holding onto each other as supports to make the short way to the truck. It was only when you and your sister parted to go to your respective sides of the vehicle when Bella nearly toppled. Luckily, she caught the mirror of the door on the way down to steady herself. You laughed, relieved when you both made it into the cab without injury. Bella wasn’t nearly as amused. 

Bella drove carefully through the icy streets without difficulty, but still slowly, which you were glad for. The last thing you needed was for your father to show up at the site of a crash after carving a path of destruction through town. Despite this, the little lump of dread on your stomach was growing bigger and heavier.

When you made it to school, you got out of the warm cab, you noticed Bella stop at the back of the truck. You make your way to her side curiously. Did she find something on the ground? Standing beside her, you see what she’s looking at. Thin, silver snow chains had been fixed to your tires. You realized, like Bella seemingly had, that Charlie had gotten up early and put them on the truck for the both of you. This small act stunned you. Your mother had never done anything like this to take care of you, in fact, Bella had always been the one to take safety measures and care for you. Bella leans up, tears welling up in her eyes. You lay a hand on her shoulder and try to smile through the mini-wave of emotions.

A loud noise abruptly tears through the quiet air of the parking lot. You turn your head to see behind you a large, dark blue van skidding on the icy blacktop, and it’s headed right towards you and Bella.

You knew you wouldn’t have any time to run, you wouldn’t even have time to push Bella out of the way.

 Nothing was in slow motion, but you were fast enough to manage one maybe final act. 

You turned to Bella, her brown eyes wide and looking off away from the van at the crowd, and wrapped your arms behind her. One arm reached up and held the top of her head, the other crossed from one shoulder to hold the other. You were already on the outside, Bella was between you and the corner of the truck. You knew you were going to die. The chances of being pinned between the truck and a van probably weren’t very high, but maybe you’d be enough of a barrier to at least get your sister out alive? You hoped so.

Right before you expected to be smashed by the oncoming Frisbee-ing vehicle, you were pushed. You felt your wrist, the one behind Bella’s head, hit the concrete with sharp pain. Something cold and hard was pinning your back down. You hadn’t even blinked when you realized you were on the ground next to a tan car Bella had parked next to. You barely had time to look up and see two white hands thrust forward to stop the van from hitting you, pushing into an already deep dent in the side of the body. Then, like a blur, one hand reached to hold under the van and the other pulling you away, your legs swinging and hitting the tire of the car beside you.

And then, it was over. For a moment, it was silent after the van settled and the glass popped. After that short silence, pandemonium.  Many voices started yelling at once, the most you could understand was several people yelling your names. That was when you realized there was someone else there. You looked back behind you to see none other than the bagel-hater himself, Edward Cullen, holding you against his side, you sandwiched between both him and yourself clutching Bella to you.

“Bella?” He repeats, “Are you alright?” Bella groans and tries to escape both of your grasps, but you held onto her, as did Edward.

“I’m fine,” she groans. She looks up to you and realizes who you were being held against and immediately struggles to sit up against you. You help her sit up gently with Edward’s white hand guiding her back.

“Be careful,” he warns her, “I think you hit your head.” Bella reaches a hand up to her head, placing her hands against a spot above her left ear. 

“Ow.” Bella mumbles, sounding surprised. You sat up as fully as you could and gently looked about Bella’s face, your hands holding her jaw as you searched for any more irritated spots of impact or scrapes. Thankfully, she seemed fine.

“That’s what I thought,” Edward hums, almost sounding amused? If you weren’t in the head space of just trying to make sure you and your sister were alright, you probably would have at least turned to glare at Edward, maybe even yell. Bella mumbles, still wincing as she held onto the side of her head, 

“How in the…?” She shakes her head and her voice trails off before looking back up, “How did you get over here so fast?” Edward makes an expression of what you knew to be feigned-confusion,

“I was right next to you, Bella,” he says, his voice no longer exhibiting a humorous inflection. You steady Bella as she begins to push away to sit up and Edward unwinds his arms from around your side and Bella’s and scoots as far as he can in the very limited space in between the far too-close vehicles. You turned your back to press against the side of the tan car behind you, one hand on your sister's shoulder as you both looked over to the boy beside you. The way he was looking at you and Bella was bizarrely off-putting. The way he almost looked to be sincerely confused, he truly wore the expression of authentic befuddlement, but not quite. You looked into the golden hues of his eyes and knew that couldn’t be right. His gaze was too hard, too much like he was pleading you to just stay quiet or just go with it. He wasn’t confused. He knew exactly what had happened and what Bella was asking. 

Edward shifts his gaze to you, his expression slightly harder in some way, guarded perhaps? 

You’re snapped out of your speculative train of thought by voices. Now that everything had stopped, you realized there was screaming. Different voices screaming Bella’s name, screaming your name. Funnily enough, you weren’t able to pick out anyone calling for the Cullen boy beside you in the noise.

A crowd rushes up to the vehicles, crying faces and yelling greet you as you look up to them all. 

“Stay put!” Someone instructs loudly, but you can’t see who. 

“Get Tyler out of the van!” Someone else shouted. There is a dizzying amount of movement around the vehicles as you look back to Bella as she tries to stand up. Both your hand and Edwards place themselves on opposite shoulders before she can elevate herself.

“Somebody said to stay put just now Bells,” You remind softly as she lowers back down the few centimetres.

“But it’s cooold,” she whines. Edward snickers behind you, but Bella cuts him off, “You were over there. You were by your car...” her voice trails off once again as she looks up into his eyes. Edward drops his smile and instead presses his lips into a hard and narrows his eyes, frowning ever-so slightly.

“No, I wasn’t.” 

“I saw you,” Bella insists. Over the argument you hear deeper voices, teachers, arriving to the scene. 

“Bella, I was standing with you, I pulled you out of the way.” It seemed he was trying with all his silent might to convince your sister other from the truth. Bella breaks her gaze from Edward’s and looks at you. You could practically see the vicious curiosity burning behind her brown eyes. You turn to look at Edward and realize he had been staring at you. His nearly pleading gaze making contact with your own vision causes a strange panic to stir in your chest.

“You… you couldn’t have been there.” You say, “You weren’t there even when I turned and grabbed Bella…” Edward, obviously displeased with your answer, looks between you and your sister with a guarded panic, 

“Bella, Y/n, please,” he pleads softly. For some reason, his gentle voice aggravates the panic already present in the back of our mind, though you can’t tell why it did.

“Why?” Bella almost glares at the boy across from her. Obviously, you were alone in your sudden feeling of alarm.

“Trust me,” you begs again, his forceful gaze shifting from Bella to you before returning back to your sister.

“Will you promise to explain everything to me later?” Edward lets out a sharp sigh at your sisters continued pressing,

“Fine,” he snaps.

“Fine,” Bella echoes with her own angry tone.

You look between the two teenagers with worry. The far off sirens were finally in the parking lot. You could see flashing red and blue lights reflecting off of the wet asphalt and snow and edges of the vehicles around you. Through the wailing sirens and abrupt feeling of panic, you have a feeling the rest of the day was going to be a disaster. Though, how much worse could it get from here?

Turns out, much worse.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*---~---~---~---~---~---~--- *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Tags: @twilight-loveer, @rushiruby

[lilbreck]

AGoT Chapters 14 - 18

If you want to follow along, I'm tagging my ASoIaF reading as tonya rereads asoiaf.

Chapter 14: Catelyn III

Catelyn is cracking. Her world completely stopped. Thankfully Robb is there to try and pull her back.

Sobbing, she pulled her hand free of his and covered her ears against those terrible howls. “Make them stop!” she cried. “I can’t stand it, make them stop, make them stop, kill them all if you must, just make them stop!”

I think this really highlights that, although she’s married to a Stark and her children are Starks, there is a part of them that she will never share. Much like Tyrion and the others, she seems to regard the direwolves with… trepidation.

Looking on the scene where the man comes to the tower to kill Bran and I have to believe that it’s not a coincidence that he almost slits her throat but she stops it. I knew that Bran’s direwolf would save the day, but I’m so glad that we see her fighting hard to live. I’m also very glad that, after her rest, she’s back to being the woman that Winterfell and her children need her to be.

Yeah, I have my issues with her, but I can’t help but love her as well.

Catelyn gave her firstborn a challenging look. “If you are to rule in the north, you must think these things through, Robb. Answer your own question. Why would anyone want to kill a sleeping child?”

While I love that she’s teaching him this now, this is shit they should have been teaching him from a young age. He’s the heir to Winterfell, he should have been trained. Again, I love Ned at Cat, but they’ve coddled their children too much.

I fucking love that Catelyn is figuring this shit out, but why wasn’t someone figuring it out while she was in her grief fugue? Why do they not have a paranoid asshole always suspicious? Okay, I’m not sure if this really earns the “fucking northern fools” tag, but the fact that Robb wasn’t trained does, so we’ll wave this one in as well.

I’d like to mention that Catelyn riding off to take care of shit fills me with joy. We know it’s not going to work, but I still love it.

Chapter 15: Sansa I

Age 11

Not gonna lie, I’ve been waiting for this chapter. It’s going to hurt, because I know what’s in store for her, but she’s still my baby. Granted, she starts out as a prissy, entitled, stuck up baby, but the Oompa Loompas had a song about where that comes from.

The septa was not appeased. “You’re a good girl, Sansa, but I do vow, when it comes to that creature you’re as willful as your sister Arya.” She scowled. “And where is Arya this morning?”

“She wasn’t hungry,” Sansa said, knowing full well that her sister had probably stolen down to the kitchen hours ago and wheedled a breakfast out of some cook’s boy.

I’d like to point out two things here: It’s obvious that the septa uses Arya as an example of how “bad girls” act in order to make sure Sansa stays in line. It’s possible that her mother does the same thing. You know what this does? Pits sisters against each other. However, Sansa still covers for Arya here, knowing that her septa would probably not look favorably on Arya’s actions. If Sansa really was a nasty bully like people claim, she would have relished the chance here to get her sister in trouble.

Reading this chapter it just drives home both how young both Sansa and Arya are and how sheltered. Sansa was raised to be such a proper lady and all of her septa and mother’s teachings seemed to have made her look down on anyone who was below her in station. And Arya doesn’t seem to realize that she can’t just get away with anything and everything.

One day she came back grinning her horsey grin, her hair all tangled and her clothes covered in mud, clutching a raggedy bunch of purple and green flowers for Father. Sansa kept hoping he would tell Arya to behave herself and act like the highborn lady she was supposed to be, but he never did, he only hugged her and thanked her for the flowers. That just made her worse.

This right there. They are traveling with the King and his family, but Ned doesn’t even try to reign in his daughter. This shit is part of what leads to everything going wrong, IIRC. Yet another subtle example of questionable parenting in the series. If you coddle your children, they’re headed for a world of pain.

This scene where Sansa is terrified by Ilyn Payne, notice that Lady reacts. This shows that Lady and Sansa were already bonded. Just imagine what that means for her losing Lady when they were already that close. I think, because Lady is lost so early in the series, people like to dismiss what that meant for Sansa. Of course, a lot of those people like to pretend that she’s not really a Stark at all.

I’m amused that Sandor was under the impression that he was the one who frightened Sansa. Did he not notice she was shaking and terrified before she turned around and saw him? Hell, he had to grab her shoulders before she turned around.

And then there comes Joffrey playing the part of the gallant prince. For a girl fed a steady diet of fairy tales and songs then told she would marry a wonderful prince, he had to have seemed like a dream. My poor baby. She does manage to find her feet, even feeling foolish, and pay a compliment to Cersei.

“I can answer,” Sansa said quickly, to quell her prince’s anger.

Even though she’s infatuated with Joffrey, she’s quick to want to head off his anger. Given that her father doesn’t seem one to fly off the handle, you have to wonder if she’s getting some sort of subconscious feeling that he’s temperamental and that’s not a good thing. Of course, this could just be a throw away line that means nothing.

He drew his sword and showed it to her; a longsword adroitly shrunken to suit a boy of twelve, gleaming blue steel, castle-forged and double-edged, with a leather grip and a lion’s-head pommel in gold.

I just wanted to put this here to compare it with how Robb was reprimanded the chapter before this:

“…Never draw your sword unless you mean to use it. How many times must I tell you, foolish boy?”

Yeah, I don’t think Joffrey was all that well trained either. When Sansa thinks to herself that “her prince would never love her if she seemed stupid” you really have to wonder this shit that everyone put into her mind when they were training her to be some lord’s trophy wife. Yeah, I’m bitter, what of it?

You remember when I said that Ned’s indulging of Arya helps lead to everything going wrong? The scene at the Trident is exactly what I’m talking about. Arya knows damn well they’ve been interrupted by the prince, but she yells at him like they were in the North and he was just another lord up there. Hell, she even starts throwing rocks at him. If Joffrey had killed Arya, I doubt a damn thing would have happened to him. And Sansa, who’s been fed on a steady stream of songs and fairy tales is no help as she yells at both of them that they’re spoiling everything.

I’m pretty sure that Nymeria saved Arya’s life here. I have no doubt that Joffrey would have killed her, and she was weaponless and backed against a tree. As soon as Arya attacked Joffrey, I’m sure Myca’s fate was sealed, and as soon as Nymeria attacked him, a direwolf was going to have to die.

When I finish this book, my wrap up post is going to talk about how this chapter shows the core of what character traits in both Stark girls that are going to be sharped, honed, and perfected for where I think their story will ultimately end up in the series.

Chapter 16: Eddard III

You know, all the people who claim that Sansa is the reason that Lady and Myca died…

What the fuck did you think her word would do?

Cersei was damn determined to have a pelt and Lady was the only direwolf around. Robert clearly didn’t give a fuck and, even if Sansa had sworn up and down that Arya was telling the truth, Cersei would have still demanded and Robert would have given in. And Myca was already dead.

Lady didn’t die as a punishment for Sansa’s imagined sins. She died because Joffrey was humiliated and Cersei couldn’t stand that. She died because Robert had no fucking backbone.

Man, I’m a fucking huge Sansa fan and even I don’t think she has as much power as some of her haters seem to think she has.

Chapter 17: Bran III

Okay, I’m a sucker for a good dream sequence and this opening one is fucking wonderful, IMO.

He saw Sansa crying herself to sleep at night, and he saw Arya watching in silence and holding her secrets hard in her heart.

Okay, I feel slow, but what secrets is he talking about here? Unless it’s about where she had Nymeria. If that’s not it, someone please let me know. I have more questions:

One shadow was dark as ash, with the terrible face of a hound. Another was armored like the sun, golden and beautiful. Over them both loomed a giant in armor made of stone, but when he opened his visor, there was nothing inside but darkness and thick black blood.

These three are, I’m assuming Sandor, Jaime, and the third I’m guessing is Gregor. Am I right in that? I mean, he’s a giant of a man and the “darkness and thick black blood” would fit with his death via Oberyn’s poison and the removal of his head.

As we go through this dream and see Bran realize that the Night King is coming and he’s told that’s why he has to live, remember this is a SEVEN YEAR OLD CHILD. Sorry, my babies suffer so much.

“Can a man still be brave if he’s afraid?” he heard his own voice saying, small and far away.

And his father’s voice replied to him. “That is the only time a man can be brave.”

Now, Bran, the crow urged. Choose. Fly or die.

Death reached for him, screaming.

Bran spread his arms and flew.

Yeah, I’m gonna be over here crying for a bit. Okay, I’ve got a scary confession. I can see an endgame for Arya, Jon, and Sansa after the battle with the Night King is over. I can see the roles they could play in the world after. I don’t remember seeing what role Bran would play, and that scares me. Because, what if he ends up like the three eyed raven?

Chapter 18: Catelyn IV

“…I had to beg Brandon to spare Petyr’s life. He let him off with a scar.”

How much of these books would be different if Brandon had just went ahead and killed him. Seriously, just think about it. You know how I said I wanted all the men around Daenerys impaled like Vlad did to his enemies? Petyr should be right there beside them, suffering because the damn pike didn’t go through his brain. I’ve got some damn feelings on this.

 That’s all I’m reading for tonight, but I’ll definitely be reading more tomorrow. Probably another ten chapters at least. A Jon chapter is next!

[wildandrunning]

03: No Rain Drops On Roses

Andy’s blood was boiling. His icy blue eyes were locked onto a man near the side of the stage. He was clearly out of place among the young screaming fangirls that made up the majority of the audience. He was probably around their age, dressed in a black jean vest and ‘Iron Maiden T-shirt. He had a long black beard and several facial piercings. He clearly wasn’t here to see Black Veil Brides, all throughout their first few songs he was flipping them off, and mouthing the word ‘faggot’ at Andy. 

Ashley noticed the man, flipping him the middle finger back. Typical hecklers, they had been showing up at their shows since the start. Something about pretty boys in makeup really got under the skin of metalheads. Most of them were just club regulars who liked to make their disapproval known. Ashley didn’t think much of them, not everyone is going to like you. As long as they weren’t hurting fans, he could care less. Andy on the other hand... it just seemed to eat at him. 

The word faggot had always been somewhat of a trigger word for Andy. It was the word of choice for all the bullies that relentlessly went after him his whole school career. His memories of middle and high school were filled with the taunts of the ‘cool’ kids. In high school, someone even spray painted ‘fag’ on his locker. That’s what he got for being different, for not looking like the all American jock. 

Even after he lost weight, even after being ‘emo’ became cool, it never stopped. It was the main reason he dropped out when he was sixteen, he just couldn’t take it anymore.

Fat, stupid, ugly, loser, freak, devil worshiper, worthless, he’d heard it all. Faggot, that one bothered him the most. He kept telling himself that it wasn’t true, they were just saying that. They were just trying to hurt him. Couldn’t they see? He had more women begging to fuck him than they ever would. 

Being in a band, being in the public eye; it was just like high school. Only somehow worse... He got called the same names. The words affected him just as much. 

The song ended, and the stage lights came on, lighting up the crowd. “Hey, hey, can I get everyone to be quiet real quick?” Andy asked, setting his eyes on the man. 

“This motherfucker has been flipping us off the whole show,” he said, pointing out the guy. The hoard of fans turned their attention to him, booing and yelling things. 

“You got a fucking problem with me tough guy?” Andy challenged, walking up to the edge of the stage. 

“Yeah, I don’t like fucking faggots!” the man yelled back, smirking. 

“Faggot? You think I’m a fucking faggot? You fucking wish you fat piece of shit! Suck my fucking dick!” Andy yelled, the anger finally boiling over. 

The fans started to cheer and chant his name which only fueled his adrenaline. He felt someone grab his shoulder, pulling him back a bit, “Andy... that’s enough just let it go” Ashley whispered in his ear. 

“You think you’re just going to come to our show and fucking call me a faggot? You must be fucking in love with me or something. So why don’t you go home and fucking jack off to this?” the younger boy’s normally calm voice was laced with spite. 

He felt hysterical and out of control like someone else was speaking. The man lurched forward towards the stage. Before he could make it more than a few steps though security was on him, wrestling him towards the exit. The fans went wild, once again chanting the singer’s name. 

“That’s right get the fuck out of here!” Andy yelled before taking a deep breath and trying to compose himself. “I’m sorry everyone, I just get a little heated sometimes.” 

The rest of the show went without incident, but Andy couldn’t calm down. With shaking hands he left the stage, the adrenaline and rage still pumping through his veins. He slammed his fist into the wall of the green room, the force leaving a slight indentation. 

“Hey, hey, hey, that’s enough.” Ashley proclaimed, grabbing the singer by the arm and pulling him back. 

“Let go of me!” Andy screamed, jerking his arm free. 

The next thing he knew he was slammed against the wall, Ashley had both his arms pinned. “Fucking cool it kid, it’s a fucking heckler let it go!” he growled. Despite being shorter, Ashley was stronger than Andy. 

“You can’t keep fucking blowing up to anyone who calls you a name. You’re an adult act like it.”  “Why am I just going to let someone call me a fucking faggot?!”  “Oh my god Andy, it’s a word.” Ashley rolled his eyes, letting the singer go. 

“Yeah, and I got called it my whole fucking life. Excuse me for standing up for myself.”  “Well, it looks really bad when you fucking fight people like that on stage. That shit could cost us opportunities, who wants to work with a band that throws a hissy fit on stage?” 

Logically, Andy knew that Ashley was right. It was a bad look to fly off the handle over little things, and venues didn’t want to book artist that did that. Emotionally though, Andy couldn’t accept it. It cut too deep. 

“Fuck that!” Andy spat. 

“Oh yeah, fuck our careers. Get a grip on yourself you sound like a child. Why do you even care what they think? Just ignore them. You know what they say isn’t true so who cares?!” 

Andy shook his head, digging through his bag for his pack of cigarettes. His hands were shaking as he struggled to light it, inhaling deeply. He waited for the rush of nicotine to calm his nerves, but it wasn’t cutting it tonight. He tried to keep the tears from falling. He wasn’t even sad, he was just so fucking angry. Mostly at himself, Ashley was right he shouldn’t let someone make him act like that. 

“Just sit down and cool off for a bit, we’ve still got the signing to do,” Ashley said before leaving the singer by himself. 

---

Andy watched as Ashley flirted with the busty bartender. It was after midnight, and all the fans from the show were long gone. All the bands on tour had decided to get drinks at the bar across the street to celebrate the first show. They were all pretty plastered at this point, all except Andy and the guys from Motionless in White. 

Since he wasn’t drinking that left him at a table all by himself, sipping on a diet coke. He had no interest in the drunken foolery and desperate attempts to bed the hostess that was going on. He flipped through tweets about the show, mostly fans talking about how he ‘sure did show that hater.’ 

“Hey, is this seat taken?” Andy looked up to see a man standing in front of him. He looked like he was in his 30′s, with long brown hair tied back in a messy bun. His arms were covered in black tribal tattoos, and he had emerald green eyes. 

“Um, I guess not?” Andy replied, taking another drink of his soda. 

“Awesome, just so you know I’m not a creep or anything. I was at your show.” the mystery man flashed a smile, showing off his pearly white teeth. 

“Oh, really?” “Yeah. I mean it’s sort of my job. I work at the venue, I’m one of the sound techs. I liked the set though.” 

Andy smiled, “Thanks.” 

“Sorry about that guy by the way. He’s a regular, and he likes to try and cause a scene with bands he doesn’t like. I’m Ryan by the way.” he said, extending a hand. 

Andy hesitated before shaking it. “I’m Andy.”

“So why aren’t you over there with the rest of your band Andy?” the way the man said his name made a shiver go down the singer’s spine. 

“I don’t really drink, it’s not my thing.”  “That’s respectable. You smoke?” Ryan asked, holding up a pack of cigarettes. 

“Yeah.” “Wanna go outside then? You seem kind of bored in here. Plus it’s quieter out back.”  “Sure.. why not,” Andy said, a million questions running through his mind. 

Who the fuck was this guy? And why did he give a shit about him? Either way, if it meant free cigarettes, then Andy would entertain whatever it was this guy wanted to talk about. He probably was hoping to snag a gig as one of their tech guys or something for a future tour. 

Andy followed Ryan out behind the bar. The cool night air was refreshing compared to the stuffiness of the bar. Ryan handed him a cigarette, lighting it for him. 

“So you liked our show?” Andy asked, breaking the awkward silence. 

“Well I mean, I liked you,” he smirked, leaning against the brick wall of the bar. 

“Um, thanks?” Andy blushed, nervously messing with his hair. 

“I’m not really into glam-rock, but you held my interest.” he chuckled. Andy could feel the man’s eyes on him. 

Andy finished his cigarette before tossing it onto the concrete. His heart was pounding in his chest, but he kind of liked the feeling. He felt the rush of hormones go through his body. This guy wasn’t looking for a job with the band that was for sure. He stepped closer to the man, almost as if on autopilot. His brain was screaming at him that he should go back inside, but he didn’t obey. 

“You’re very beautiful.” Ryan purred, letting his burnt out cigarette fall to the ground. He wrapped a hand around Andy’s waist, pulling him in. 

“I’ve been told that before.” Andy smiled, draping his arms over Ryan’s shoulders. 

The older man leaned in, hesitating only inches from Andy’s lips. Andy closed the distance, locking lips with the other man. Ryan’s hands drifted down to grab the singer’s ass. Andy’s mind was racing, how did he end up here? Like this? He didn’t want to stop though, he wanted more. He was beyond starved for affection. 

“Mm- fuck” Andy moaned into the kiss. He shut his eyes, feeling himself get hard as Ryan kissed down his jawline, nipping at his neck. Their lips found each other once again. 

Ryan’s hands were all over Andy’s body. Slowly though the euphoric feeling started to fade as the reality hit the singer. ‘Oh god what am I doing?’ he thought, feeling the panic rise in chest. 

“S-Stop!” Andy yelled, pushing the man off of him. 

Ryan gave him a bewildered look before he could even get a word out Andy ran back into the bar. He felt like he couldn’t breathe, what the fuck was he doing?! He felt a sick feeling sinking into the pit of his stomach. He needed to get out of this place... now. 

“We’ve got to go!” Andy stated, practically grabbing Ashley by the collar. The rest of the band was nowhere to be found, probably already back on the bus. 

“What? Why?” Ashley stammered, clearly not wanting to leave the hostess he’d been charming the whole night. 

Andy looked behind him to see if Ryan had followed him inside. He hadn’t, but that didn’t make him feel any better. The sick feeling was getting worse, and he could feel his gag reflex starting to kick in. “We just have to go now!” Andy insisted. 

He bursts through the doors of the bar that led out front. Ashley followed closely behind him. “What the fuck Six? What are you freaking out about?” 

Andy’s legs were shaking as he braced himself against a trashcan by the curb. He pushed his hair back before throwing up the little he’d had to eat that night. The images from minutes ago kept flashing through his mind as he struggled to catch his breath. 

He dry heaved a few more times before finally managing to calm down enough to get a deep breath in. Ashley was standing a few feet away, staring at the singer. 

“What?” Andy asked, wiping his lips. 

“Are you really not going to fucking explain all that? Dude I was this close to banging that chick, and you freak the fuck out and pull me away?!”  “I want to leave. Where are the other guys?”  “On the fucking bus, Andy what the fuck?” 

Andy’s heart was still beating wildly in his chest, and he started to feel sick all over again. “I-I just really need to get out of here.” 

Ashley sighed, realizing that something was clearly wrong with the younger boy. “Okay, well you’re not going to throw up anymore are you?” 

“No.. I’m fine. I just had.. a panic attack or something. Let’s just get on the bus.. please?” Andy said, looking around frantically. 

“Bus it is then, but you owe me.” 

[fantasticnewtimagines]

*All My Fault* Newt x reader

◘ Anonymous asked:

Do you think you could possibly do an imagine where the reader and Newt are best friends but when Newt meets Tina he starts to ignore the reader. During the battle with Graves Newt gets really hurt while protecting the reader and Tina tells the reader to back off because it's her fault. Can the reader act like everything's fine but slowly stop eating and sleeping because of guilt until Newt notices. Lots of angst but a happy ending please. I hope this isn't any trouble. Thank you!

◘ This does include a salty, mean Tina. So beware. Take note I am not a Tina hater! But if you don’t like Tina written in a negative light, then this probably isn't for you >.< That’s all! Carry on ^_^

Your stop in New York City alongside your best friend, Newt Scamander, had become a bit more adventurous than you two had initially planned. Unfortunately, some of Newt’s creatures had escaped his magical case and were scattered throughout the city. With the help of the new ‘friends’ you had made, you tried to work together to recapture them.

You didn’t dislike the new people you had met. In fact, Queenie was perhaps your favorite. Her constant smile and bubbly personality were welcoming and you warmed up to her rather quickly. Jacob, the no maj, was friendly and caring; someone you definitely enjoyed being around. Tina, however, seemed to capture Newt’s attention quite quickly and ever since he had spend nearly most of his time with her. Besides the fact that she had tried to turn you both in to MACUSA, Newt seemed to fancy her and seemed to pay less attention to you which honestly made you feel pretty awful. Newt had been by your side for years and you couldn’t imagine your life without him. He was like the sun in the sky and the stars at night for you. 

You were currently in search of one of Newt’s creatures, the Demiguise also known to you and Newt as Dougal. You were inside a Department store that was adorned in Christmas decorations and you were all huddled behind a giant mass of decorative wrapped gifts. 

“Try not to be predictable...” Newt whispered. You noticed Queenie, Jacob and Tina eye each other in confusion. You smiled to yourself knowing exactly why Newt had said that. 

“Y/N, go with Queenie and Jacob.” Newt motioned for you to follow the two as they were making their way in the other direction. Giving him a look of anger, you frowned and noticed how he didn’t tell Tina to move. Opening your mouth to object, Newt scurried away, Tina close behind him. 

“Fine... I’ll go go with them.” You mumbled angrily to yourself. Quickly, you pushed yourself up and quietly made your way in the direction Queenie and Jacob had gone. Catching up to them, you watched as Dougal appeared and in a moment of bravery, Jacob grabbed the Demiguise and instantly became dragged through the store. A loud crash echoed as he was knocked in to a display toppling it over.

“Jacob!” Watching as Queenie ran to his side, you stayed over in the corner watching as Newt and Tina ran by.

“Excellent work, Jacob!” Newt hurried past him and ran up a flight of stairs. No one seemed to notice your absence and honestly, you wished you could just disappear and blend in with you surroundings like Dougal could. 

After a few moments, Tina and Jacob followed behind the others and you decided you’d better too. Rushing up the stairs, you watched Newt slowly creep up behind Dougal. Without even a moments notice though, chaos erupted and everyone went in to a panic as the Occamy they had finally found went in to a state of panic. 

“Roach in teapot!” Newt shouted. Hiding behind shelving, you watched as the rest fought to catch the cockroach. Luckily, within moments the roach was caught, thrown in to the tea pot and the Occamy was placed back in to Newt’s case. You watched as Tina looks up at Newt asking him if that was everything.

“That’s everything.... and that’s the truth.” Newt waited a moment and you watched as Tina smiled at him and Newt smiled back. Your heart literally broke as you realized how Tina had replaced you. She was the one who made Newt smile now. She was the one Newt probably spent his time thinking about and wanting to be with. The pit of your stomach began to ache and you fought the tears that tried to escape your E/C eyes.

Newt had found a new best friend.

Moments before you were all inside Newt’s case when suddenly Frank, Newt’s Thunderbird alerted you all he sensed danger. Now on the rooftop of Squire’s, you all looked down at the mass chaos ensuing down below. The obscurial was destroying everything in it’s path. 

Everyone seemed to was for Newt to speak and when he did, your heart shattered.  “Tina, Y/N.” He turned to face you both. He threw his case in to your hands and reached in to his pocket. Pulling out his notebook he knew he kept all his information about his creatures in, he handed it to Tina. “If I don’t come back, look after my creatures for me. Everything that you need to know is in here.” 

“No!” Handing the case over to Jacob, you stomped over to Newt. “You’re going down there alone!” You were shouting at him and it not only startled him, but yourself too. Hardly did you ever raise your voice at the kind Magizoologist, but right now, you needed to grab his attention that for days now seemed impossible to get. Looking angrily in to his eyes, not only were you mad about his decision to go down there, but also that he had so easily entrusted Tina and you to care for his creatures. What was Tina going to do? If anyone here were capable of taking care of them, it would be you! How could he even think Tina was the right person. 

“Newt, you know this like no Obscurial you've ever seen. It’s too dangerous!” Grabbing a hold of his arm, you tried to keep your grip. Newt looked at you, then Tina, before pushing his arm away and apparating away.

“NO!” Tina and you seemed to shout in unison. Quickly, Tina thrust the notebook to Queenie before apparating as well. Angrily, you took your wand out of your coat pocket and instantly did the same.

You watched helplessly as Newt and Graves battled in the subway station. Spell after spell was being thrown. Unsure of what to do, you looked over at Credence watching as the tears and the fear in his eyes grew. It was only moments now before he would explode again. Your attention was turned back to Newt as you watched Graves throw his arm up in the air and point his wand at Newt. Fear was growing inside you and lifted your wand ready to cast at Graves.

“CONFRINGO!” You watched as the spell was cast from your wand. Graves turned to you and quickly moved. Your spell hit behind him causing the wall to explode and cast rubble flying everywhere. 

“NEWT!” Tina, on the other end of the subway station, ran over to where Newt was now lying. To your horror, you looked over and saw him on the ground, lying motionless. What had you done?

Graves lifted his wand one last time, ready to aim, when Aurors came spilling in alongside Madame Picquery. The battle continued and you watched helplessly as they Aurors destroyed Credence and then battled Graves. Once he was relieved of his wand, you quickly ran over to where Tina was now cradling Newt in her arms. 

“N-newt?!” Falling to the ground beside them, you instantly noticed the blood on his vest and jacket. “Oh my-”

“Newt, it’s okay..... It’s gonna be okay...” Tina had tears streaming down her face as she watched Newt struggle to keep his eyes open. 

“I didn’t mean to- I had no idea- I was trying-” Your throat felt as though it were closing and the pain in your chest was almost unbearable. Lifting your wand, you put it over his wound ready to cast a healing spell when Tina angrily swatted it away.

“You don’t think I tried that!? He needs more!”

Unable to speak, you looked at Tina who angrily looked away and back at Newt. He was seriously injured and it was all your fault. You were careless. Now, all you could do was sit there and look at your best friend who was in so much pain and suffering and there was nothing you could do.

Sitting inside Newt’s case, you were hunched over on a stool inside his hut staring at the ground. It had been almost two days since the incident and Newt had been doing fairly better. The rubble that hit him caused a pretty nasty gash, but overall, he would be fine in good time. 

Tina, however, hadn't left his side at the bed they set up for him at the apartment and spent nearly every waking moment sitting beside him and watching as he rested. You had emerged a few times to try and see him, but Tina would insist it wasn't a good time or you should try later. Queenie was around, but was rather sad due to her recent forced good bye to Jacob. You felt alone and all you wanted to do was hold Newt in your arms and apologize.

It was late evening and you decided you would try again to see Newt. Pushing the case lid up, you stepped out and noticed Tina wasn’t in the room. Feeling a rush of relief, you quietly made your way over to Newt’s bed. Gazing down at his freckled face, you watched him sleep. Sitting down in the chair beside the bed, you gently moved his cinnamon hair from his eyes and paused when he stirred just a bit. It brought you comfort to see him resting and not being in agonizing pain anymore. You searched for his hand, wanting to hold it, when Tina reappeared in the room.

“He needs rest.” Setting down a bowl of warm soup, Tina looked at you with cold dead eyes. 

“I just... he’s sleeping and so I wanted to... I was just making sure he was-”

“Honestly, what were you thinking?” Tina interrupted. 

“What?”

“The whole situation was unpredictable. You should have waited for MACUSA to show up and handle the situation!”

“I didn’t know they would show up or when they wou-”

“You didn’t think at all!” Tina spat. 

Tears began to sting your eyes and you felt yourself crumbling under Tina’s harsh words. Standing up, you brushed past her and made your way out of the room. You had hoped to find Queenie but assumed she was either in her room or out. Besides, she was dealing with her own heartbreak and you didn’t want to bother her with yours. 

Letting the tears fall, you sank to the floor and hugged your knees close. You don't know how long you cried for, but your eyes and body ached.

“Mummy will be back soon....” You were trying your best to take care of Newt’s creatures in his absence. It had been days since you last left the case. You had hardly slept or ate. Your eyes were in a constant state of pain from crying and you felt absolutely horrible. You struggled to keep your balance as you lifted the bucket of feed to take to the mooncalves. Your eyes were heavy and your legs felt like jello. Setting it down, you fell to the floor. Your hands hit the ground harshly and you felt the rocks scrape your palms. 

You pushed yourself up and noticed you had ripped your skirt. You didn’t care though. Lifting your hands up, you examined the cuts but your vision was so blurry. Dropping them, you fought to stand up. A gentle hand startled you as you looked over to see Dougal appear beside you and help guide you to the hut. Thanking him, you plopped down on the cot and stared at the ceiling. It was so quiet, given the sounds of the various creatures beyond the hut door. You missed the sound of Newt mumbling as he worked at his table or how he would shuffle about and sometimes bump in to think because he was so preoccupied and not paying attention.

Closing your eyes, you attempted to sleep full failed once again. Just like all the nights before, each time you closed them all you saw was the replay of Newt getting hit by the explosion and the blood that stained his clothes. Tina’s words played over in your mind like a broken record and you fought to turn it off. You knew it was all your fault. She was right. Why didn’t you just wait? 

Rolling over on to your side, you let the warm tears roll down your cheeks as you stared off in to the distance. You wondered how Newt was recovering and if he was mad at you. Surely Tina told him it was your fault. The fear of him being angry with you only made your tears worse. Struggling to breathe, you cried as you held yourself. 

Another sleepless night.

Newt had finally gained the strength to stand and walk. Tina had left the room to prepare some food for him when he decided to go looking for you inside his case. Tina had mentioned you'd been down there and he decided to check on you and his creatures.

Clutching his wound with one hand, Newt gently and slowly descended down the stairs in to his case. Landing gently, he walked through the hut and out in the habitats. Looking both ways, he searched for you but didn't seem to spot you. He figured maybe you had gone out and decided he would then go visit his creatures. 

Hobbling over to Frank he didn't realize you were near his habitat hunched over and fixing something.

“Y/N?”

Jumping, you turned around and came eye to eye with Newt. Seeing him clutching his bandaged wound along the side of his body, you winced at the slight sight of blood seeping through. 

“Newt!” Backing away, you hung your head down trying to avoid looking at him. 

“I- I was coming to see you... I haven't seen you and wanted to be sure you were okay.” His gentle eyes looked at you but you kept your gaze down.

“I’m- I’m fine.” You lied. 

You sensed Newt scanning you with his eyes. He knew you too well and knew you weren't okay. “Are you hurt at all?” He asked, reaching out to you.

Backing away with your arms hugging your waist, you answered quickly, “I’m fine.”

Staring at your feet, you suddenly saw Newt’s hand rest under your chin and gently raise your head up. 

“Merlin...” 

Looking up in to his eye, you saw the sadness that swept over him. 

“You look as though you haven't slept or eaten in days...” His voice was almost a whisper. You pushed away from him turning around quickly. “Y/N, please look at me...” 

“No.”

“Why?” Newt stood there, waiting for your response. You closed your eyes trying to fight the tears that were fighting to fall down your face. You finally answered him.

“I can't because.... because it’s all my fault....” It was as though your body had finally broke free and you burst in to uncontrollable tears. Your breathing was labored and your whole body was shaking. You felt so weak and you suddenly fell to the ground. A pain seared through your chest and your head felt as though it were hit by a ton of bricks. 

Falling beside you, Newt ignored the pain in his side and instantly wrapped you in his arms. It broke his heart to watch as you tried to break free, pushing him off, but your weak body was no match. The pain in his side only grew, but he didn’t care. He would hold you for however long it took for you to be okay, regardless of how much pain he would have to endure. 

He rested his head on top of yours and let you cry. Your shaking body and labored breaths seemed to only grow and he closed his eyes to fight back his own tears. Your cries stabbed him like knives in his heart and the feeling of you trying to resist him made his chest feel as though it were full of needles. 

He only hugged you tighter.

Neither one of you knew how much time had eventually passed until you had finally calmed down. Newt felt your body go limp in his embrace and he looked down at you. Your eyes were closed and your pale face was stained in tears. Dark circles were under your eyes and he noticed the scrapes on your hands. 

“Y/N...” He said your name in such a way of sadness. Holding you in his arm, he used the other to wipe the tears from your eyes. Finally, you opened them and looked up at him. 

“I’m so- so sorry, Newt” You choked. He looked down at you in confusion and tried to understand why you could be sorry. 

“For what?” He asked.

“I did this to you. It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have tried to help. I should have waited for MACUSA like Tina said and then all of this could have been avoided.”

“No.” The words left his lips without even a second thought. Your eyes shot up at him in confusion and you tried to understand. How was he not mad? “This is NOT your fault, Y/N. You did what anyone else would have done. You tried to help me and I’m grateful for that. You’re my best friend and I love you.” His lips curled in to his signature lopsided smile as he looked down at you. You fought for a moment trying to convince yourself he was telling the truth and not just trying to make you feel better. You knew Newt all too well and knew he wasn't one to say things he didn't mean. 

“I love you too” You replied. He kept his eyes locked with yours and after a few moments he finally began to stand, taking you with him. “You need to eat.... and you need to sleep.” Brushing your H/C hair from your face, he cupped your face in his hands. Your weak eyes looked back in to his and you nodded. Newt gently took a hold of your hand and kissed it. Smiling back up at you, he looked in to your E/C eyes and whispered, “I’m the luckiest man to have you in my life”. 

Smiling at him, you walked behind him as he made his way back to the hut and out of the case. Following behind, you emerged and found Tina standing there. She looked unamused and was about to speak when Newt looked back at you and said, “You can sleep next to me.” 

Without looking up at Tina to see her face, you walked over to the bed and got under the covers. Newt followed after and smiled down at you. He looked up at Tina and with a stern look asked, “Could you bring us another bowl of soup?”

OOOKKAAAAYYYYY. I really enjoyed writing this one. I hope you guys like it ^_^