#and we're not killing the moms here because i am a good person

[beanghostprincess]

hear me out I like zeff/yasopp I think it's great but just hear me out sora right? Mrs Vinsmoke instead of poisoning herself to fix her babies. She poisons her husband, killing him. She takes her daughter and runs away to the east blue.

She finds the nice humble island with a small village known as syrup village. She has a nice little home and delivers her babies in the village and raises them on her own. They're all completely normal well adjusted non-emotionally stunted children with their own passions and hobbies. Ichiji literature and poetry, Niji gardening and plants Sanji is still cooking and Yonji is sports mainly baseball Reiju ballet.

she befriends a lady named Banchina she likes to visit her once in a while and brings her son usopp to play with them. They get closer like really close Sora is catching feelings practically having a second sexual awakening with this woman. She doesn't know what to do She didn't even know she was bisexual until now. That's how trapped she was in that miserable miserable marriage

Banchina is a lesbian (insert lavender marriage backstory right here we know the lore yasopp is being gay somewhere this ain't about him) she fell for this woman the minute she saw her she was head over heels. Gorgeous, beautiful. She needs her She wants her. She pursues her

They kiss, they start seeing each other more often they get closer they're in love

NOOO THIS IS SO CUTE ILOVEITILOVEITILOVEITILOVEITILOVEITILOVEITILOVEITILOVEITILOVEIT-

The whole lavender marriage thing with Yasopp and Banchina is just amazing to me, tbh. I adore them. And Sora deserved so much better,, She deserved to escape from that hell and get a wife fr fr. And in this concept we're like, SO adding Childhood BFFs to lovers Sanuso right??? Right???

Because I can't stop thinking about Sora raising the kids on her own in Syrup Village and they all have their little personalities and passions. And Sanji still loves to cook and is the sweetest thing that has ever existed. Honestly, he might not get his stubborn and strong personality from Zeff but he could most definitely get it from his brothers. 100%. If in this concept they act like normal siblings I can assure you they are arguing 24/7 (but they're very protective of Sanji because you will have to kill me before I give up my headcanon of the brothers actually loving Sanji a lot). So yadda yadda yadda he meets Usopp and they are best friends and they grow up together and they are boyfriends and the story is similar to the original except that there's no Zeff BUT Luffy does end up making these two idiots join. Except that they're boyfriends already. And the story doesn't change because they already look like boyfriends in canon.

But this isn't about them because I like women more!

Okay so Sora is the sweetest mother in the whole world but since she has to raise the kids on her own she also has to act tough sometimes and you know,,, It is a hard job when you have,,, 5 kids,,, Poor woman. But she loves her little angels SO much it's insane and they love her even MORE and they all help in their tiny little home in the village somehow. Tiny little family that is not so tiny because those are 5 kids. Girl,,, I just know Banchina would want to help her somehow. Usopp doesn't have that many friends and Banchina thinks it's a great idea to go visit Sora and the kids so Usopp has somebody to play with. And even if it's a bit hard because his personality clashes a lot with the brothers, he gets along the most with Sanji. Instant best friendism because Sanji looks so sweet and quiet and sensitive and Usopp goes full superhero mode on him. My pookies,,,

Honestly, Banchina is so real for falling for Sora right away. Because. You know. Have you seen Sora? I think Banchina admires her a lot because sometimes it's hard for her to raise Usopp on her own without Yasopp around and you're telling her Sora can do that same thing with 5 kids??? And Sora falls for Banchina too because. Again. Have you seen her??? And she is also so fun to be around and so so helpful!

Wouldn't it be extremely sweet but angsty if they started to fall in love, meeting even when the kids aren't around and doing chores together, but Sora feeling guilty because she thinks Banchina is actually married married to Yasopp? She doesn't know anything about the lavender marriage yet,,, And Banchina doesn't want to ask personal, intrusive things, so she doesn't know more than "They escaped from a bad place" about Sora and her kids. She guesses she doesn't want a romantic relationship now-- But she does!! Of course she does!!

Banchina is just,, So sweet to her and so so helpful and thoughtful. Sora isn't used to this much kindness in her life,, You have to keep in mind she basically got out of an abusive relationship and it's the first time somebody actually wants her for herself and not to use her. Banchina always wants to cook for her and help her with her groceries and look after the kids when Sora wants to take a nap. And I think Sora also would see her with Sanji cooking, stopping fights between the brothers and playing with them (also fixing their stuff bc I hc that Banchina knows her ways when it comes to like, mechanics and art and such), and talking for hours with Reiju and dancing with her. Sora is so in love,,, She has never felt like this before. She didn't even know she liked girls. But she doesn't want to make any sudden changes for the kids,, Again,, Or ruin what they have. So she stays quiet.

And Banchina loves painting, by the way. Obviously, because I say so (and bc I want Usopp to have a deeper reason to love art). So Banchina is always drawing Sora, at first absentmindedly, and later on she realizes the only thing that inspires her is Sora,,, She has always been looking for that. A true passion and stability and knowing she can trust somebody to stay and to offer her their heart so she can paint it. She's a bit intense when it comes to helping Sora, maybe, but she wants to be helpful! And Sora is always taking care of her too and her health!! Looking out for her and being oh so gentle and fun to be around. Sora is the sweetest but she's also a bit of a tease and her laugh is the cutest thing Banchina has ever heard. But yeah,,, Neither of them wants to confess even though they've almost kissed,,, A lot of times.

Okay,,, But wouldn't it be cute if Sanji and Usopp's crushes on each other started very early in their friendship and Sora and Banchina realized they have to be honest about their feelings thanks to their kids??? Because they both ask for advice from them about how to tell somebody you like them, and when they're both like "If you truly feel like it's meant to be you'll know... You need to follow your heart and be honest..." they know they have to finally be together together. They wouldn't tell their kids right away because they think they need to get used to more to this dynamic first and it's a big change. So they stay quiet and keep it to themselves. But, you know, Banchina and Usopp basically live with them now at this point so it's hard not to know.

Also,,, Can't stop thinking about Sora being a badass and knowing Judge is the most horrible person to ever exist BUT still having issues with relationships because of his fault? She still has this feeling of like, thinking she's worthless and needs to do more and more and more? And give give give? And Banchina helping her all the time and sharing the burden and seeing all the pretty things Judge found ugly in her,,,, It does wonders for her heart. And Banchina also realizes that she doesn't have to be alone and can share her passions and true feelings with somebody finally??? What if I cry.

Aghhhh. I absolutely adore this. The kids grow up and do their own things and Usopp and Sanji go with Luffy and they are all happy and there's no angst! And once they're alone they can be cottagecore middle-aged sapphics in their little village.

Lil note: Somebody choose a shipname bc I am awful with these things thank you-

[underestimated-heroine]

The fact that radfems spread this post around is actually really interesting--infuriating, but interesting. Because what they've really done here is tell on themselves.

This is the shrimp guy story:

From an anonymous green text called "shrimp saved my life" [emphasis mine]:

>be depressed, suicidal xanax- addicted incel >one day I go to my /aq/fag uncle's house for some shit >he has pet shrimp, never seen anything like it before >he offers to get me some 53 KB JPG >throw them in a barely cycled tank with some shitty rock >several shrimp die >realize that I killed them with my apathy >realize I need to take responsibility for once in my life >do research, learn about water parameters and so on >eventually I have a beautiful planted tank with no more deaths >notice a female shrimp carrying eggs >haven't felt this excited about anything in almost a decade >the eggs disappear and I once again think I fucked up >a few days later I see a tiny transparent baby shrimp >l suddenly know how the shepherds felt as they gazed upon the newborn Christ >by this point I live and breathe shrimp >all my spare time is spent on shrimp research and watching shrimp videos >l spend most of the money I had saved from my last job on shrimp products >quit the Xanax to support shrimp spending >start putting effort into college in hope of getting a good job for my shrimp >grades improve, no longer facing the prospect of dropping out >relationship with parents improves since I am finally passionate about something and applying myself >l see genuine happiness in their eyes when I talk excitedly about my shrimp >for my birthday my mom makes me a shrimp cake >it even has fondant legs and little chocolate eggs >cry like a little bitch when I see it >mom hugs me and tells me she's always been proud of me >college dorm neighbours demand to see my shrimp >shit they're gonna think I'm autistic >they actually think my shrimp are really cool >they start inviting me to their social events >start interacting with girls, get told by girls for the first time in my life that I'm fun and smart >l think my shrimp would be proud of me if they knew >We're gonna make it bros. Even if you can't do it for yourself, do it for the animals that depend on you.

He did address his relationship with women. By finding a hobby and passion and working on himself--"touching grass"--he stepped away from the echo chamber that filled him with all this rage and convinced him women were to blame for all of his problems. As someone once wisely observed, "the cure is going offline and realizing it's just. really not that big a deal."

And that is what radfems have not done, so of course they didn't spot the quiet flashpoint of shrimp guy's personal development within his story.

Edit: it's been brought to my attention that the version of the greentext post I lifted the text from was censored by someone else. My bad for not realizing that, tbh it was done so well I thought shrimp guy had done it himself, but that's an important part of the post. I've gone back through and un-censored it. The reply which was spread around with the original post addressed the words themselves well, I think; however distasteful and fucked up the incel rabbit hole is, it doesn't diminish his growth.

[oh-no-its-bird]

Look all I'm saying is that if I were going to make a minecraft movie.

Well, first off I'd put down the first person to even reccomend we do it in cgi. Not just because it looks objectively terrible and half of the magic and nostalgia factor of minecraft is in its texture but holy shit budget much??? You are literally looking at a situation where the cheaper option is also objectively the better option. What the fuck are you doing

But I mean, after that.

Second off, all my writers must watch popular smps and minecraft roleplays/let's plays to understand the "magic" of the game. That's how we're studying for this, not the game books or whatever. Those guys are clearly doing smthn right, and as the executive/writer who knows very little about mineraft that I am in this hypothetical scenario, I need to do my best to make money. And that means learning what people like about the game and community.

Maybe even bring on some popular (non controversial please god) smp writers for consulting. They literally make minecraft movies as their fucking job, they are the expert u need to consult

Story wise, you NEED to choose if you wanna play this straight or silly. I'm so sick of movies trying to be all emotional and "ohh this world is so beautiful,, if u could only understand,, woaa" with their epic sound track and dramatic lighting, but then the dialogue being ripped out of a stupid marvel knockoff trying too hard to be witty

Anyways. Give me a generic "kid has a hard life and uses [thing] to escape it but then their parent trashes [thing] to teach them a "lesson"" movie.

The thing is minecraft and this kid is totally in love with letsplays and smps and has a server with their online friends (get a sponsorship from discord for that good good film sponsorship money, have them play while in call)

The mom or dad or maybe both trash the kids computer for some reason (bad grades maybe or one of those shitty "you need to talk to us more!!! That computer is killing ur brain!!! You don't love us as much as you should and it's that damn games fault!!!" But like it's actually just a kid being a normal fucking kid and having normal fucking kid hobbies things and the parents are dicks)

They delete the minecraft world rip

Them boom, kid somehow gets stuck in the game

Switch to NON CGI FILMING IN MINECRAFT. If you really need to add your stupid shitty fucking cgi then at least make it look like an ACTUAL MINECRAFT ANIMATION holy shit

It'll save us so much money too

So main plot is this kid, being trapped in minecraft, actually falling through different minecraft servers.

We can have different cameos from popular smps and youtubers, get some old youtubers and gameplay in here too. Get fucking dantdm and the diamond minecarts og series with the lab thing, it'll make the old fans lose their fucking MINDS.

The youtubers themselves don't even have to show up, just shove the kid into settings that are clear references to smps and letsplays. Have them wander through Aphmau's OG minecraft diaries sets or Sundee's lucky block series

The best part is that as backdrops, you don't even have to fully commit to "you'll only get this/find this interesting if you know these guys" bc if your writing is good enough you can still make people care by just. Introducing it correctly. Don't present it as "Aphmau's old minecraft diaries series world" go "oh wow look st this cool village,, woah I wonder who built this ,," And have them interact with NPCs organically

Meanwhile the parents go into the game after the kid to bring them back and we do this whole world hopping adventure where the parents learn that,, minecraft can be fun? Actually?

They find the kid and the kid is like "nooo I'm having too much fun the real world SUCKS!!!" but then we do that "it's cool to have fun and indulge but you still need to be present in the real world and do real people things too in order to have that fun responsibly" where somehow the kid realizes that moderation is good for u.

Maybe they almost die in game fr fr? Every world they enter has its difficulty upped a little bit till they enter *gasp* a hardcore world (oh no)

So like the kid learns that you can't just lock yourself in the room and wish the world goes away while you play minecraft for 12 hours straight, and the parents learn that minecraft is cool and fun and can be a good outlet and outlets are important for adults and children alike. And also that they totally pulled a dick move and they need to try to understand their kid instead of just demanding the kid understands them

Somewhere along the way, the kid ends up in their friends server and the friends help to pull them out of the game w the parents

We end the movie with the kid making an effort to be more present with the parents, and the parents also making an effort to interact with the kid in ways that they know the kid will enjoy and respond well to— shown a family dinner scene where the kid very eagerly eats their food while talking about school, then they all go to play minecraft together

The end <3

Oh right and if you seriously want Jack Black there so fucking bad then make him either the dad or like. School computer teacher who helps the kid use Minecraft EU to learn science (shows off that some schools use minecraft for education purposes) who also helps the kids friends pull them and the parents out of the game

Overall, lots of themes not just about how the game is cool and can let you do cool shit, but also about how the community is cool, and how it's provided so many kids and adults outlets to express themselves and have fun together

That's how you do a game movie

Anyways yeah, minecraft movie looks shit. Hire me instead next time

[starberry-cupcake]

back by popular (?) demand, I am now starting chapter 28 of gideon the ninth and I guess I'm sharing updates to the general public now ( @lady-harrowhark this is your responsibility). I think I'm gonna put them under this tag because I am being told I will want to look back on them later (sounds threatening ngl).

previously, in gideon the ninth:

isaac was ended by some junji ito shit

jannemary was ended by a stealthy junji ito shit

very pointed messages were written for them

which is too dramatic to be a random monster killing, if you ask me

gideon took a 15 minute nap and was startled awake in hell

gideon most definitely did not look much at the room before she took said nap, nor did she remember the paper she's still carrying around

I'm losing my mind at the paper

I'm like watching another d&d player choose to never look at something the dm gave them

were we are now:

gideon is back, now with More Trauma

harrow has the compassion of a feral kitten

this is a bad combination for me, personally, in particular, because this means gideon is going to look for comfort in my mortal enemy dulcinea

she gives her a talk that is trying to distract me from the fact that I don't trust her, but I will never trust her

she was like "it'd be better to die here than to be living longer and trapped" and I was like "wanna let me help you with that?"

palamedes has also been carrying a dulcinea boner, which also makes things difficult for me

because if my mortal enemy ends up being bad and dangerous, and palamedes is in danger, it would force camilla to be in danger, and we don't want, under any circumstances, to put camilla in danger

mayonnaise uncle has been gossiping in the eighth and ortus's mom (where I'm from, 'orto' means 'ass', so I will never forget his name) spilled the beans on the ninth

he offers gideon literal tea with a side of the metaphorical tea

here's where I went "boy, I sure hope harrow doesn't push gideon away and gives her a reason to turn to these guys"

harrow proceeds to do just that

with clockwork precision

I cannot emphasize enough how meticulously she did this

if pushing people away was an olympic sport, and if that was the way to judge this competition, this book would be 10 pages long because harrow has mastered the craft

you could hear gideon's psyche becoming dust

needless to say, we're having tea with the eighth soon, everyone bring your scones and poison

which, you know, fine, at least gideon will be told information

and btw, protesilaus is still live reacting from an unknown location

idk what regina george twin, yandere simulator twin and chad the third are doing but, at this point, I don't know what anyone is doing, really

except for dulcinea, I JUST KNOW she's up to no good

and the second is probably still dealing with the fact that they lost to Camilla The Everything

[words-4u]

right person (1/3)

pairings: luca x reader, marcus x reader (platonic)

wc: 1.4k

a/n: immediately started planning a three part series on luca while watching the bear s2. that's what a tatted will poulter does to me (the bear is an incredible show btw pls watch if you don't)

warning: swearing

part 2 / part 3

"denmark?"

"yes! we are sending you and marcus to denmark for two weeks to stage at this really great restaurant. you're gonna learn to do three new desserts for us. carmy knows the head pastry chef. says he's really cool so it should be fun, right?" sydney explained.

"that does sound fun! i'm in!" you smile.

you look at marcus who was deep in thought. if you had to guess what he was thinking, his mind is probably on his mom who was currently bed ridden at a hospital.

you put a hand on marcus' shoulder. "you good with that?" you ask your co pastry chef.

he broke out of his thoughts and nods. "yeah, i-i'm great. i'd love to."

"great! cause you guys really didn't have a choice. your flights are already booked for tomorrow afternoon sooo thanks!" sydney offers two thumbs and an awkward smile before she leaves what used to be the kitchen.

"holy shit," you whisper in shock. "staging at a michelin star restaurant in a country i've always wanted to visit. could this be any better?"

"i have to go tell my mom but give me a call if you need a ride to the airport tomorrow. chester will probably take me and we can swing by your place if you want?"

"dude, yes! that'd save me a shit ton of money that i would've spent on uber."

"cool, see you," marcus grabs his bag and heads out the door.

after helping fak, riche and gary with fallen ceiling debris, you decide to leave a bit early to pack and clean your apartment before your travel.

it was noon on the dot the next day when marcus calls to check if you were ready for the airport. since you packed the night before, you had a rather peaceful morning. chester talks your ear off the whole way to the airport and you guys get there he demands to see your passports because he wants to make sure you and marcus actually had it on you.

"chester, can you do me a favour and check in on my ma when you get the time?" marcus asks.

"dude, i'm way ahead of you. gonna check on her every morning on my way to work,"

"i appreciate it."

chester looks at both you. "now, i want you take a deep breath and let the good in. you guys are gonna kill it."

you grin at marcus' friend. "thanks chester. okay we're gonna have to leave now before we miss our flight."

marcus says his farewell to his best friend and the two of you head to your gate.

the plane ride to copenhagen was smooth despite marcus' worries. you guys hop on a train to explore the city before heading to where you were staying.

"trains here are way cleaner than the ones in chicago," marcus leans over to whisper.

"waay cleaner," you agree.

the two of you exited the station and stood in awe of your view. clear blue skies. cool fresh air. colourful buildings. and the smell of hotdogs which was incredibly appealing after your long journey.

you and marcus lock eyes. "oh yeah."

marcus got a hotdog with dried onions and pickles on top while you had a plain jane moment with just ketchup.

"this is the best thing i've ever put in my mouth," you say with in between bites.

"just what i needed honestly," marcus says.

after your quick meal, the two of you continue to wander the city taking in the architecture most of all.

marcus was using the maps feature on his phone to find the place you were supposed to be staying at.

"uh i don't see any apartment buildings near," you say. "are you sure we are in the right place?"

marcus led you to a canal where some boats were docked. "i am 99.9% sure. you're staying in 286 and i'm in 287."

you glance at the boat in front of you and saw the gold numbers plaque on the side. "well, mystery solved. this is your place and i'm guessing this one is mine." you moved further down to the boat behind marcus' one.

"sick," he smiles.

"i'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"

"night, y/n!"

you walk down a couple of steps before unlocking a door that lead to a kitchen and dining room. it was spacious and you were grateful for the many windows it had. the stairs to the left led up to the bedroom which was a lot smaller than you anticipated having only space for your bed and a small cabinet for clothes.

you flop on your bed and exhaled. you didn't realize how tired you were until your head hit the soft mattress and while everything in you wanted to knock out, you knew you had to get up and unpack because you wouldn't have time tomorrow.

one thing you were not was a morning person and yes you should have gotten used to it by now working in the restaurant industry but getting up at 4 a.m. will never feel natural. regardless, you had a twinge of excitement for your new job and excited to learn under this new chef that carmy spoke so highly of.

once you got ready for the day, you hear three soft knocks.

"morning," you say. "you ready?"

"born ready," marcus says as you lock your door and head to the restaurant.

it was only a 15 minute walk from where you were staying so the two of you arrive with time to spare.

you walk into the bright kitchen and suck in a breath. the kitchen was stunning with it's high-end equipment, gorgeous green tiling and the young hot chef moving bags of flour from one table to another.

"chef. i'm marcus brooks and this is y/n y/l/n," marcus begins. "and we're from-"

the chef looks up for a quick second. "i know. i'm luca, pastry. we start at 5 a.m. your section's at the end of the bench."

the english accent takes you by surprise. your knees could have buckled right then and there.

"yes, chef," the two of you say in unison.

now your excitement turned into nervousness. not only were you to create three star-worthy desserts for the bear, you had to learn from someone who is so extremely good looking it hurts.

marcus and you head to the back to change into your uniforms which was a basic indigo t-shirt and a green apron like luca had.

when you went back out, you immediately wash your hands and got ready for whatever luca had in store for you guys.

luca had marcus rollout croissant pastry while he led you to a table where he had prepared a dessert. your task was to place pieces of peanuts at a certain angle as part of its presentation.

you study luca as he shows you what to do. he had small black tattoos scattered up and down his arms. that alone is having an effect on you.

"here, you try," he says passing the tweezers to you.

your fingers brush as you took the small tool from him. luca didn't make eye contact but you did notice his jaw clench.

"nuzzle that sliver into the pudding just to lock it in."

"yes, chef," you say.

taking one of the small nuts from the bowl, you place it on the pudding but it slipped last second.

"no. again, chef," he says in a calm yet assertive tone.

"sorry," you say and try again and it's worse which luca picks up on.

"hm, worse."

he takes the tweezers from you and picks up the piece. "don't be afraid to just stick it in there, you know," luca takes the nut and slides it in perfectly. "just be confident about it."

"don't second-guess yourself," he says finally locking eyes with you.

you nod. "yes, chef."

you took the tweezers back and third time was the charm because you placed the nut in the pudding just like he'd showed you. smiling to yourself, you put the tool down.

luca's face stays expressionless. he looks up from the dessert. "you know how to make shiso gelee?"

you absolutely do not know how to make whatever he just said but there was no way you were gonna let him know that.

"yes, chef."

"alright."

luca steps away to grab some ingredients which gives you the opportunity to whip your phone out and google the gelee. "dextrose? what the fuck is that?" you whisper to yourself.

luca came back and places a tray in front you. "recipe," he says tapping some blue index cards.

you felt your face burn. "thank you, chef."

end of part 1 omggg. not much luca x reader but it’s warming up trust me. i already have ideas for part 2 and 3 with some potential alternate endings... stay tuned

if you enjoyed, please let me know (through my bio) if you have any the bear requests, send them my way!

[justrainandcoffee]

Invaluable (Alfie Solomons x fem!oc) Part 1 of 2.

Summary: A series of events that led to Alfie to make the decision that he wanted a Russian necklace for his wife, even when it wasn't part of the initial agreement with Thomas Shelby. Bad ideas usually meant bad decisions. Especially if anger is in the way.

Warnings: Mentions of antisemitism. Mentions of miscarriage. Mentions of killing. And believe it or not, this contains smut. || It was going to be a fluff fic but watch me writing an angst story instead.

Words: 2.7k

Alfie x Rose masterlist

1924.

4pm. Monday.

"Fuck me."

Tommy stopped his car when he saw another one in middle of the road to the Russians' place. It was red and was horizontally parked preventing anyone to pass beyond that point.

"You think is one of their cars?" John asked.

"No. This is another kind of problem."

The three men got out of the vehicle and walked towards the woman, one that the two eldest brothers knew well, and who was also opening the door of her red car.

"Good afternoon, Tommy, Arthur… and you must be the youngest of them" She said looking at the third one.

"I am whoever you want me to be, sweetheart. Who are you?"

"John, don't." warned Arthur not looking at her. "Don't. She…"

"Great, John," she interrupted "Call me Mrs. Solomons."

"Oh, fuck. I'm sorry, Mrs. Solomons. Shit, I didn't know… I'm sorry."

Arthur could have teased his younger brother because his cheeks were red, but he didn't dare to talk and John avoided any visual contact. The only one who seemed to be unimpressed by her presence was the leader. Although he had questions.

"What are you doing here, Mrs. Solomons?" finally Tommy said. "This is enemy land."

"And yet, you dragged my husband here, Thomas. But first, I want to give you my condolences personally not just by the letter Alfie sent. I can't know what are you feeling, and I don't want to know either, but it must be very hard to lose your partner. So, I'm really sorry, especially because the circumstances. How's your boy?"

"Thanks, Mrs. Solomons. Charlie is just a baby, he'll be fine."

Rose nodded. Obviously he didn't want to talk about that, and she wasn't his friend either so she answered his question "I'm here because you put a bomb inside that fucking house."

"Not yet."

"You did. Alfie is the bomb. One of the first rules to know about him is: Never put Alfie near a Russian, Mr. Shelby. Never. I'm not going to give you a historical speech about antisemitism and how the tsar loyalists were after my people. We jews, we've been killed, tortured by these fucking Russians. But Alfie, more than me, takes this in a personal way because his mother was a victim of these fuckers. Do you think he accepted your deal because of money? Because of friendship? No. He did it to fuck with them. Because you gave him the opportunity Alfie never had: Avenge his mom. He shits on the money you can offer him. But not on this chance… you didn't know, did you?"

Tommy shook his head.

"You know now. If Alfie sees the opportunity, he'll smash the head of Romanov with his own hands and prepare a sandwich with his brain. Now, you are going to prevent that."

"He won't do that."

"No? Go ahead to the fucking meeting then and then tell me what happened," Rose said "you don't know him as you think you do, Tommy. But I do. I know what his mother meant to him and I know if he has the slightest opportunity, he'll take it because that's something Alfie does very well. He's an opportunistic bastard and I'm married to him."

"Tommy," Arthur dared to say looking at his pocket watch "we're going to be late…"

"Shup up, Arthur. I know" he said without looking at his brother. His blue eyes were on the woman in front of him "Tell me your conditions, then."

"I have no conditions. I'm not involved in Alfie's business, but if something happens to him then you're going to be responsible for it. Alfie is a fucking bomb and you put him there." Tommy saw how she took off one of her rings and offered it to him "give this to Alfie. He doesn't know I'm here, but he'll know if he sees it. Alfie could never do something stupid if he knows I'm here."

Tommy examined the ring. It was a silver delicated rose but quite simple. "He gave it to me when we were 15," Rose said with a nostalgic smile "it was the first nice thing he bought to me. It's a trinket but it holds an invaluable meaning. You don't want Alfie ruining your business, I don't want him being killed because he lost control, that's the only condition I have. You're smart enough to make him understand without being explicit. I'll move my car and you can go."

John and Arthur returned to their car and Rose went to hers. Soon, the road was free again.

"Tommy," she said one last time, rolling down the window "if something happens to Alfie, I'll kill you."

.

5 pm to 6 pm, Monday.

"I don't think they trust me, Tommy," Alfie said as soon as he and Tatiana Petrovna crossed the door. The newcomer saw his colleague with his hands tied up but the Russian aristocrat seemed to be ready to free him.

"Mr. Solomons is the only jeweller I trust in London," Tommy said looking at Leon Petrovich Romanov who indeed cut the ropes.

"Yes, trust. Yes. Might've to add that on the ol' invoice." Alfie said and Tommy perceived his humour changing. In his pocket was the ring that Rose had given him.

"As we agreed, your jeweller will now select items to a total value of 70,000," Tatiana spoke. "When you have selected your chosen items they'll be put into a box and stored. When you fulfilled your part of the deal, the box will be delivered to you."

Alfie and his monologue didn't surprise Tommy but when Romanov tried to outsmart him and Alfie revealed that he spoke Russian thanks to his mother Tommy had to intervene.

"Mr. Solomons," he said putting a hand on his broad shoulder when his grumpy expression seemed to be scaring the Russian. "I found this ring in the way, I think it's yours. It's the one you told me it's invaluable, isn't it."

Alfie's expression changed when Tommy gave the ring to him.

"Where? Tommy, where did you find this?"

"Outside. Coming here. Is it yours, right? Your rose."

Both men stared at each other and Alfie sighed, before putting the ring in his pocket.

"My rose, yes. My Rosie" Alfie finally said and then clapped his hands looking at the Russians again. "…but today it's for forgiveness, innit?"

The selection didn't take long, but was enough for Alfie to choose the best ones, including a gift from the tsar Nicholas himself and a Fabergé. And to make Petrovich Romanov shit on his pants once again after Alfie discovered a fake necklace among the real ones.

Despite Tatiana's attempt to put Alfie away from her family as quickly as possible, Tommy found a moment to speak to him when both men went out where Alfie's chauffeur was waiting for him.

"Where's she?"

"Less than an hour ago from here," Tommy replied pointing to the East. "Take care of her, Alfie. She loves you."

"Yeah. I know, Tommy. I know. The hell she's doing here, I told 'er to stay at home."

"You know her better than me, Alfie. If you're in trouble she's there to take care of you."

"Yeah. That's her. Go inside, they're waiting for you. Enjoy the orgy, Tommy."

"Do you want to stay?"

"Are you inviting me to fuck, Thomas?" Alfie said and chuckled "Nah, mate. I've my sweetheart waiting for me. And I fucked Romanov enough today. Be careful with the Russians."

"I will."

.

Tommy was right. Her red car was parked under some trees when Ishmael reached the spot where she was waiting for Alfie. The sun was already hiding and everything around them was illuminated under a the last gold rays of sunshine.

"Just go to London leave the car in the distillery. Me and my wife we're going later in hers."

"All right, Mr. Solomons."

As soon as Alfie opened the door, she ran towards him and he caught her in the air. He held her against his body and between his arms, at the same time that Ishmael left them alone.

"Are you fine?" she asked, stroking his beard. "I was so worried."

Alfie kissed her. "Shit, Rosie… I'm fine, luv. I'm fine. I fuckin' told ya to stay at home, luv. Didn't I? These fuckers…"

"I couldn't. No when I knew you were going to lost your mind. I was afraid of what you were going to do."

"And you were ready to put yourself in danger for me."

"Alfie, you're becoming reckless when it's about Tommy. I'm fucking scared all the time when he calls you because I don't know where's this going. I shouldn't be scared of losing you. Not you, too…"

Rose bit her lower lip and looked down. After losing their baby two years ago, the idea of suddenly being alone forever became a constant fear in her life. And Alfie being an associate of Thomas Shelby who was always playing with his life, didn't help her at all. Rose preferred the times when Sabini was the biggest menace in Alfie's life and not a bunch of Russian aristocrats who hated jews and could kill him in a minute.

"You're not going to lose me, Rosie. Listen to me, I'm not going to leave you. This is are just business, just business, sweetheart."

"Come on, you know I'm not going to believe that bullshit. I'm not a brainless wife who believes her husband lies, Alfie, and you should know better than this. These are fucking dangerous people and Tommy invited you to play a Russian roulette with them and you accepted. The question is, Alfie, who's going to receive the bullet?"

"Not me."

"I hope not. Because I'm going to end up in hell but first I'm going to kill everyone involved in this shit. And do you know who's the first in my list?"

He nodded "won't be necessary, Rosie, I swear. I promise. Let's go home, yeah? Let's rest."

Alfie took her hand and kissed it. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Al."

"You're calling me Al again. Am I forgiven?"

She couldn't help but laugh. "I don't know. Do something for me and maybe I can consider it."

"I know what to do," he said walking to her car, still holding hands with her. "It's dark already. We're alone… The Russians organised an orgy, ya know?"

"They invited you?"

"No. But we can have our own orgy in your car."

"It doesn't exist such thing as an orgy between a married couple, Al."

"It is when the matrimony is us. We value the double, sweetheart."

"Poet Solomons," she said, opening the door at the same time Alfie was taking off his coat.

Monday-10 pm.

The car's windows were foggy, witnesses of the passion inside it.

The moon owned the sky for the last hours and there was nothing nor no one interrupting them.

After the first encounter hours ago, they fall asleep in the backseat but everything started again when Alfie woke up and saw his wife sleeping on him.

Her mouth slightly open and her calmed breath, caressed his chest. Alfie couldn't help but stroke her bare back and slid his fingers through it until he reached her butt. How many times in his life she slept like that on him, and yet, never he got tired of her? Hundreds. Maybe thousands.

He moved his head a little and kissed her hair.

"Do you want to go home?" she asked him still with her eyes closed.

"I'm fine here."

"Okay," Rose settled herself closer to him and put one of her arms around his body. "Do you remember when I used to enter your house through the window at midnight?" she asked and although it was dark and couldn't see her, he could feel her smiling.

"I always suspected my mother knew."

"It's not like we were the most subtle people on Earth either, Al. We thought we were. Even my little brother knew I escaped almost every night to see you."

Alfie smiled, too "And you're still escaping from home to see me. Some things never change."

"Except that I'm adult now and none can stop me."

"I love you. I really do, Rosie."

Alfie sat on the seat and carried her with him. His wife ended on top of him facing him.

"Did they hurt you somehow?" she asked touching her face with her fingertips. Alfie shook his head.

"They didn't."

She kissed him. Rose wasn't sure that if even Alfie knew he was ready to kill anyone who dared to hurt him. That life, another one, in other universe… it didn't matter. She'd kill for him and it wasn't just a saying.

A moan of satisfaction escaped from her lips when she felt him entering into her.

"Alfie…" she said against his mouth.

That was her love. The only person in her whole existence that she allowed to touch her. Just him. Where Alfie made the life of the rest of humanity complicated, everything was easier for her if he was with her.

Alfie pushed his hips against her to deepening his thrusts. He still felt angry with the Russian man and his fucking family. All the same shit.

He put his hands on her hips, he didn't want to hurt her, but his frustation and anger were making him more aggressive, but she knew it and also increased her rhythm and friction. Rose wasn't happy either after all.

Alfie closed his eyes and threw his head back and felt her clutching around him.

"Fuckin' hell, Rosie. Just don't stop… don't."

"I'm not planning to."

They kissed and Alfie embraced her tightly against him. Both bodies moving like one nonstop. He could feel that after few minutes she was slowing her movements and put her on the backseat. He settled on top of him and took the control the last moments together.

"Al… hell, faster."

And he did it. It didn't take her long after that to cum and felt her whole body relax once she did it. Alfie did the same few seconds after her.

"We need to use your car more often," he said looking at her with a smile.

"I can't agree more," she kissed him again, but both of them, definitely more relaxed. "I love you, Al."

"I love you more, sweetheart."

They returned to London about an hour later when she felt her strength return to her legs. Both of them slept the rest of the night until late morning.

Tuesday. 11:30 am.

"That was not part of the deal, Alfie."

Tommy was in his office when his friend called.

"It is now, Thomas."

"You can go to any jewelry in fucking London and buy her the necklace she wants, two of them. The whole fucking jewelry in fact."

"That's not the point. I want one of those."

"Jesus. Fuck, Alfie. Do you know what are you asking me, right? If they know…"

"They won't. That princess Tatiana Petro-bitch or fuck whatever her name is, she's nuts as hell. She didn't even know that fuckin' treasure, right, they've there."

"The answer is no, Alfie, I can't. You'll have your money, give me that fucking list of people who could want the Fabergé and it's over. Buy her the most precious necklace you can find there."

"The initial agreement is still on, Tommy. It's just a fucking necklace."

"I know you're mad. I understand the Russians made your mother suffer, I know. But... No.

"Your answer is no? Then I'll find other methods. She deserves it."

"Alfie…"

"Goodbye, Tommy."

Tommy rubbed his face when Alfie ended the call. His life was already a mess and had the sense that it was only the beginning.

In his house, Alfie looked through the window. Rose never asked him anything but after watching the tsar loyalists covered in diamonds had the feeling that his wife deserved it more than them.

And blind and furious as he was with the Russians, he didn't know it yet, but the new alliance he was going to make it was going to end very bad.

Alfie grabbed his cane and went to see the priest.

---

PART 2 FINAL

[storiesbyjes2g]

3.195 Uncle Luca's day out

So, uhhh ... We have a closet now. After seeing Less', our empty wall was looking extra empty. Once I told Sophia what I saw, it was a wrap. She ordered that thing so fast, and it arrived way too early this morning, but here we are. It's funny how this room is smaller than the last one, yet we never had so much storage space before. Fewer windows have advantages, I suppose.

Rosie is barking outside our window. Our dogs are always barking, especially when she is playing, but what catches my ear this time is another voice. I look out the window and see Alessia playing with her! This house is doing a number on all of us, I see. I love that she's not only getting along with our dogs but also seeking them out. I've said it a million times, and I'll say it once more: we're going to be alright.

The other night, when me and Sophia looked school information after trying to prep Desiree, we learned the school system is on winter break right now, so we have loads more time with her! I was so glad and relieved to find this out. I mean, if she had to go to school, we'd send her, but I felt like we were all unprepared for this next phase of life. It came around so fast! Now we have the time to prepare, and we get to have more fun together. With school out, four kids, and two deserving mothers, I decide to take the kids out and let the moms rest. Also during the school information quest, I stumbled upon the high school's events page. They host many events that the public can attend, and tonight there's a football contest. That sounded like a good event for the kids, but it wasn't until 5 p.m., so I made an impromptu agenda to kill time. We began our adventure early with breakfast in Oasis Springs.

We go to the steak house me and Sophia frequent, but I don't recognize the host this time. She must be new, but man, does she have an attitude. She acted like me bringing four kids to a restaurant at 9 a.m. is a personal affront to her. Maybe it is early, or maybe I'm just too flabbergasted by her outburst, but I don't know how to respond. It's for the best because I probably wouldn't be nice because I feel the spirit of "I got time" rising up in me again, heh. I need to get into the gym and hit a bag because it is clear I want to fight someone. I blame Alessia's sperm donor, Jace. We got all hyped up about fighting him and never did. Maybe that urge never left me. Anyway...

The cook had just walked in on her berating me and shook his head at her. If this happens a lot, why don't they fire her? It can't be good for business.

"Come on, man," he said to me. "We've got plenty of tables, and I have to walk that way, anyway."

That was so nice of him. We followed him to a table, and I told ol' Nasty Nelly to have a good day so the kids could hear, heh. Sure, it was sarcasm, but hopefully they haven't learned that concept yet. With any luck, they'll learn to return nastiness with kindness.

When we get to the table, we have a quick family meeting. Because it's their first time in public, and I am the lone adult, we discuss inside voices, manners, and general public behavior, aka, this is not a playground, aka do not embarrass me, heh. Breanna and Arvin want to play in the rain, so I let them go as long as they are quiet. Desiree and Lex stay with me. She colors the placemat, and he plays quietly with a toy.

When the food came, I collect the other two from outside, and we have a fairly decent time together with minimal incidents...

I'm not naïve enough to think we could go all day without someone acting up. But what I did not anticipate was it would be my child I'd have to call out. She kept farting and laughing about it. I didn't realize she was the culprit until Breanna had enough and screamed at her.

I told her no one else thinks it's funny. We're eating, and no one wants to smell that with food in our mouths, and she should apologize to the table. Her remorseful face almost broke me, and I wondered if I was too harsh. I knew I wasn't because I didn't yell, but I just hate seeing her sad. I stayed strong, though.

After breakfast, we still have several more hours before the event, so I take them to Copperdale so we'd already be in town. I remembered a park down the street from the pier, so we go there first. The weather is not conducive to playing in the park. A thick blanket of snow covers the ground, and it's still falling on top of being extremely cold. I should cancel our plans and go back home because I don't want anyone getting sick. But the kids scatter before I can stop them. Desi says she has to pee and goes to the bathroom. Breanna makes a beeline for the monkey bars, reminding me so much of her mother. Arvin also goes to the bathroom, which leaves Lex with me again. He's such a cool little dude with a chill temperament, like me. I noticed his outfit earlier, and he seems to care about his appearance more than the other two.

Some older gentlemen are out taking a stroll for some reason and come over to talk about the weather. Lex doesn't seem to mind, but I want him to have fun too, so I excuse myself to have some snow fun with him. We have a snowpal building contest with Bre.

We win by default because Bre quit when she saw Desi and Arvin talking outside the bathrooms. We're still proud of our victory, though.

It seems a shame to come all the way to Copperdale and be a stone's throw of the pier and not ride the rides, so I check on the kids to see how they're doing with the weather. It stopped snowing, so the visibility is better, but it's still freezing. Children have an uncanny knack for being impervious to the weather, however, so they all said they're fine to stay out. I tell them about the haunted house ride, and they're all very excited about it. I figure we'd do that one over the Ferris wheel so we can get inside for a bit.

Although I know the cars only have two seats, I still wish we can all go together. I want to ride with Desi, but who would stay and watch the other kids while we ride? She wants to go with Arvin anyway, and Lex wants to go with me. Breanna is a boss just like her mom, and she doesn't want to sit with anyone. By the time we all take our turns, it's about 5:30, so we head to the high school.

On the way, I explain how this will be their school when they become teenagers. There're all kinds of activities they can get into, like the football team, which is what we'll be doing today, cheerleading, chess club, computer club, and so much more. Realizing they have no frame of reference for school, however, we walk around the classroom building to warm up and see what it's all about. This isn't my alma mater, but a school is a school. They're all basically the same.

Bre got upset about Desi farting again. Just as I begin to express disappointment, I remember something from her infancy. She was gassy a lot and constantly had hiccups. And she belched a lot when we burped her after feedings. Could something still be going on with her stomach? Am I telling her to stop being nasty while she can't actually help it? I didn't say anything that time and decide to talk to her about it in the privacy of our home.

[asgardian--angels]

Talking on the phone with my mom I finally broke down and cried thoroughly about the cancellation. I think I'd been holding it in for the last two days, or two months. And honestly I've been wondering all along why this show means so much to me. I am not queer, I am not neurodivergent, I am not POC or disabled or any of the groups that this show has been so important for in terms of representation and being treated with respect and dignity. I understand and completely empathize with all of you, and fight for this show and your rights worldwide alongside you, but it still left me wondering why I myself have latched onto Our Flag Means Death. I suppose part of it is that despite being white and cishet and the privileges that have always come with that, I have been treated like an outsider and ostracized my entire childhood and teenage years, for being ugly and having "disgusting" interests (primarily liking insects, reptiles, other creepy-crawlies - aka the thing I literally do for my career now). I was bullied relentlessly from preschool through early college and became a very lonely introverted person - I still am. Undoubtedly Our Flag Means Death gave me renewed hope that I haven't missed some key window for finding love or relationships of any kind that matter, as I sit here typing this at age 28 having never dated anyone.

But it had to be more than that. And with everything that's happened the past couple of months, and the last few days, I think it finally clicked for me.

Followers of my blog may or may not know that I am a conservation biologist, or pollinator ecologist, whichever hat fits best on a given day, they're quite close. I don't make many original posts like this anymore on here because my job is so busy. Basically, I do a variety of things - academic research, habitat management & restoration, and public outreach - to try and preserve biodiversity and ecosystems on our planet. I'm just going to say it: it's a thankless job. Nothing we do ever feels like it's enough, and burnout is common in our field because we sit with the guilt of feeling like we are the only thing between survival and utter destruction of planet Earth, and work ourselves to exhaustion. It's one of those jobs where your work is your life, and your passion is your work, and it's inseparable from who you are on a molecular level. We are often faced, on a large scale, with hostility, from people that don't believe in science and are more than happy to pull a shotgun on us, or rich old men in power who are content to watch the world burn for another penny in their bank account. There are days when sometimes it sinks in just how bad things are, and it's terrifying, and I feel like we will never be able to do enough, to change enough, before it gets catastrophic. It's paralyzing.

My ability to do my job is dependent on hope. Unwavering, unrelenting hope. Hope beyond hope. We have to believe what we're doing matters, otherwise we'd fall down and never get back up again. I'm no big-shot, I give talks to a few hundred people at a time, and make urban pollinator habitat on a local scale. Is any of that going to make a difference compared to the ramifications of a single oil mogul deciding to cut corners and cause an oil spill that kills millions of seabirds and damages ocean food chains for decades to come? If people in my field let thoughts like that linger, we'd be paralyzed to inaction. I have to hope that the people I teach choose to do something good with that knowledge, and go on to inspire others, or that the patch of habitat I make allows a declining species to maintain a foothold instead of going locally extinct. You just have to keep going.

And Our Flag Means Death got wrapped up in that for me. The Stede Bonnet effect, if you will. He set out to do pirating differently, treating his crew with respect and helping them grow. In return, they internalized that mindset, and it spread to how they interacted with others. It changed the trajectory of individual lives, and also at least began to change how the society of pirates operated as a whole. It was a beacon of hope that choosing small acts of kindness did matter, even if you yourself could not see the ripples it made. It renewed my faith that love persevered and would win. That we could all make life a little better for each other and ourselves through kindness, compassion, forgiveness, and mutual support. I think a good chunk of that is from Taika - these are running themes in his projects, and his films move me deeply for that. This show became in some, perhaps subconscious way, a source of strength for me to keep putting myself out there in my line of work to do whatever I was capable of to help the cause.

The cancellation was devastating, but the second cancellation (turbohell cancelation?) was even more so. Because now it's so clear that this is largely the work of David Zaslav and the regime he's built. It's petty, it's greedy, and more than anything, it's cruel. Indifferently, indiscriminately cruel, when one person at the top can have such power to make or break the lives of thousands, millions, beneath them, and though it would have been barely a drop in the bucket, a hand wave, to renew our show or let it pass to another streamer, he actively chose to shackle it to this sinking Titanic of a company WBD has become. I have always operated on the belief that you can do anything if you work hard enough at it, and believed deep down that there was some order, some justice in the universe, atheist though I be. We as a fandom did everything we possibly could, we loved this show harder than anything. The numbers were there, the awards nominations were there, the critic praise was there, and we were loud and loyal every single day. I felt like we could do this - how could we not win when we've done so much, and the show deserves it so much? Surely cause and effect will prevail.

This fight seemed small, though really it wasn't; we fought for the right of artists and creators to make quality, original stories and have them told to their natural end, we fought for diversity representation to be more than a token character - OFMD raised the bar so much higher on all fronts, we fought to shed light on the chaos and impending collapse of this industry silencing art and exploiting writers, actors, and all manner of production workers. It was a small fight from the outside, one that I really felt we could win. And I put my heart and soul into it, because if we could win this, if we could save this simple, kind love story about two guys on a boat, then maybe there was hope for the bigger, badder stuff too. It shouldn't seem an insurmountable task for several thousand fans to convince a streaming service that they'd turn a tidy profit to give our show one more season.

Yet we lost - through no fault of our own. I am so proud of us. But that really struck deep for me. If one peabrained CEO of a media company wouldn't budge on greenlighting a show that was in his every best interest business-wise - perhaps enough to even save Max from going under in the not-too-distant future - my god, what hope was there for changing anything bigger? The 'real' problems of the world? When no amount of ethos, logos, or pathos can penetrate these men at the top, where's that hope to fight? Lately the world seems like it's just going belly up all over. If we gave everything we could, and it still wasn't enough - if it could never be enough - what hope is there? It's like chaining yourself to a tree and the bulldozer plowing right on ahead. And I think that broke something in me. It shook me to my foundations because it broke my rules of how things are supposed to work. We believed hard enough, we worked tirelessly, and we deserved it for how important this show was to so many people. And it didn't matter. Our best wasn't enough. And that caused an avalanche of all of the horrible, scary things piled on my shoulders - we're losing the Amazon rainforest too fast to save, climate change is going to turn the corn belt into a dustbowl by mid-century, a border wall is going to devastate imperiled wildlife in Texas, deforestation and hurricanes on songbird wintering grounds could lead to entire species extinctions, saltmarshes are our lifeline and they're shrinking and we're still building stupid concrete stormwalls, invasive diseases will completely alter the composition of our forests to be unrecognizable to our children, and if you don't make every slide of this powerpoint utterly perfect and you fail to convince every single person in attendance to get rid of their lawn then you've failed and the world is doomed.

I've struggled with being a perfectionist my whole life. This didn't help.

That's where I was a couple hours ago. But I took some deep breaths. I know the world isn't fair. But I really thought if we could win this one battle, then we could win the war.

But here's what I realized. Everything we did mattered. It mattered so much. Because there's the show, and then there's everything that was birthed out of that show. The community, so many of us around the world who have been uplifted by Our Flag Means Death in a real and lasting way that we will take with us and spread to affect those around us. The Stede Bonnet effect goes global. We raised thousands and thousands of dollars for charities around the world, real people whose lives have been improved, or maybe even saved, because of us and this silly pirate show. We brought a hell of a lot of attention to WBD and their shitty practices, keeping the momentum going in a way that I think is only going to build - and I sure hope it leads to Zaslav getting deposed. We have demanded more queer stories, more BIPOC stories, more disabled and autistic and middle-aged stories, stories with exquisite costumes and award-worthy wigs, dear lord, and we are being heard. We have expressed such love and support for the cast and crew, showing them that we appreciate their hard work and that we will be behind them in their future projects. So many of them have told us how the show and its fans have changed their lives. We convinced Rhys that his career isn't winding down but winding up, and to be unapologetic about his wonderful weirdness - we've proven to everyone through this show that your weirdness is what someone out there is going to love you for, not in spite of. We rallied to help writers and actors during the strikes in a way that was taken to heart and remembered. We have been out here talking it through as a crew, and turning poison into positivity, for over two years now, and that impact is permanent. They can cancel our show, they can try and slap copyright notices on our fan merch, and spew bullshit excuses about the numbers not being there. But Our Flag Means Death sparked a movement, the biggest pirate crew the world has ever seen, using our power for good.

We may not have any more new material for our show for a while, or ever. But I maintain hope that when the dust has settled and streaming has entered its 'new era' that they'll remember us and throw us a lifeline. Because hope is a part of my genetic makeup, and even in cancellation my hope has been renewed that the fight is worth fighting, that our individual choices of kindness are having an effect, and making the world a little easier to live in bit by bit. No one can take from us what we have built out of this show. And thanks to pirating, they can't take the actual show from us either. Despite this, no matter the outcome, I am so happy we got two seasons of this wonderful series. That was more than almost anyone expected. The story belongs to all of us, and it will always live on. We did not truly lose this battle, because in the process we gained more than we could have ever imagined. And I know there's still so much more to come. That gives me the strength to keep doing what I do, every day.

To me, Our Flag Means Hope.

[gracies-baby]

hi i love your writing!! can you write something about gracie? it can be anything! no rush and thank you!

Childhood Lovers

(Gracie Abrams x Reader)

———————————————————

"I bet I can beat you to the top of the tree" a nine year old Gracie tells the seven year old Y/n.

"Fine! Let's go!" Y/n agrees to the dare only to beat the brunette to the top.

"You cheated somehow! There's no way you bet me!" Gracie grumbles before Y/n speaks up.

"Truth or dare?" Y/n asks with a wide smile.

"Dare!" Gracie exclaims excitedly.

"Hmm.. I dare you.. to kiss me!" Gracie nods with a blush as she slowly leans in before Y/n runs away with a laugh.

"Hey!" Gracie yells offended as she begins the chase the younger girl while their parents laugh at the two girls.

"Those two are definitely gonna fall in love" Gracie's dad tells Y/n's as the man agrees with a smile while their mothers just smile knowingly.

—

"We should probably go home now. It's getting late"Gracie mumbles as she looks at the time on her phone, seeing it's 2 am.

"But you're comfy" Y/n whines as she pushes her face further into Gracie's chest, wrapping her arm around her waist.

"Cmon, your parents are gonna kill me if we're out any later on a school night" Gracie presses a soft kiss to her girlfriends head as she leads her to her truck and helping her get into the passenger seat before driving the girl home.

—

"Y/n! Come on! Please!" Gracie pleads before Y/n slams the front door in her girlfriend's face after pushing her out of her house.

Gracie sighs as tears fill her eyes as she remembers the fight the two just had before she sits on the stairs of her girlfriend's porch, waiting for the sun to rise so her girlfriend will come out of her house as she accidentally falls asleep while she waits.

"Gracie. Wake up" Y/n softly shakes the brunettes arm as she watches her girlfriend open her eyes.

"You didn't go home?" Y/n asks with a concerned look.

"I couldn't. Not when I knew you were mad at me" Gracie replies before Y/n smiles softly before leaning up to kiss her girlfriend.

"I'm sorry for all that stuff. I didn't mean it-" Gracie is cut off by her girlfriend.

"I forgive you. Let's just go to school, yeah?" Gracie agrees as she guides her girlfriend to her truck before driving to school.

—

"I love this spot" Y/n says as she sits on her favourite bench with her girlfriend before she leans her head on Gracie's shoulder.

"I know you do. I do too" Gracie replies as she nervously plays with her fingers.

"Are you okay? You've been acting weird all day" Y/n asks as she takes the brunettes hand in her own.

"Y/n.. I have something to ask you" Gracie says as she gets on one knee in front of her girlfriend.

"Gracie? What are you doing?" Y/n asks with wide eyes.

“Y/n, I’ve been wondering how I should do this. I’ve been thinking about it for months but eventually I realised that nothing I do will be good enough because nothing is as perfect as you are. So I just thought I’d go for it. You are my favourite person. I will never love anyone as much as I love you. All I want is to be with you forever and I hope you want that too. Y/n L/n, will you marry me?” Gracie watches as tears stream down Y/n’s face while she pulls out the ring from her pocket.

“Yes! Of course I’ll marry you!” Y/n exclaims as Gracie lets out a relieved laugh before putting the ring on Y/n’s finger before pulling her in for a tight hug, listening to the people around them clap for them.

—

“I can’t do this. Why am I doing this?” Y/n mumbles as she paces around the room nervously.

“You’re doing this because you love Gracie. And she loves you. Do you want me to go get her?” Her mom replies with a soft smile as she looks at her daughter in her wedding dress.

“No.. she can’t see me in my dress yet” Y/n replies while running her hands over her face.

“Okay.. just wait here, I’ll be right back” her mother replies before leaving the room. Y/n sits on the chair in the room before she hears a knock on the door.

“Y/n? It’s me, are you okay?” Gracie asks from the other side of the door.

“Yeah.. I’m scared Gracie”

“Why? Are you having second thoughts?” Gracie asks nervously.

“No. I know I wanna marry you but what if you get sick of me? What if I do something that makes you hate me? What if we get divorced?”

“Babe, if I was gonna get sick of you, it would’ve happened by now. And nothing could ever make me hate you. I already know everything about you and there’s no way I would ever divorce you. Would you divorce me?” Gracie asks as she sits with her back against the door.

“No. Never”

“So there’s nothing to worry about. We’re gonna go out there and get married. And then one day we’ll have kids and hopefully they’ll look just like you” Gracie says with a smile as she listens to Y/n laugh softly.

“Will you be okay if I go get ready now? I’ll send your mom back here” Gracie asks before Y/n agrees.

A few hours later, the two girls get married in front of their whole town with huge smiles on their faces.

—

“She’s absolutely perfect” Gracie mumbles as she leans her head on top of Y/n’s while looking at the baby that her wife had just given birth to.

“I love her so much. Do you wanna hold her?” Y/n asks the brunette as she nods excitedly while gently taking the newborn from her wife’s arms.

“Thank you for giving me this family. I love you so much” Gracie says only for her to see her wife fast asleep on her shoulder. The brunette smiles before leaving a soft kiss on her wife’s and newborns heads.

[pippin-katz]

I need a cast audiobook of RWRB. If no one else, then at least Taylor and Nick reading Alex and Henry. I need it in my life.

And in ACD fashion, here’s a few lists of lines/conversations from the book that I am desperate to hear them say. I want to hear them read all of the lines, but these are the ones that pop out to me!

Post Writing Note: These turned out to be way longer than I thought they were going to be 😭😂

Alex Lines:

Oh yeah, that was a wild night. Two whole keynote speakers. Nothing sexier than shrimp cocktails and an hour and a half of speeches on carbon emissions. - page 5

'Archnemesis' implies he's actually a rival to me on any level and not, you know, a stuck-up product of inbreeding who probably jerks off to photos of himself. - page 7

Jesus Christ, it’s like they can see into your soul. Cornbread knows my sins, Henry. Cornbread knows what I have done, and he is here to make me atone. - page 77

I always thought you’d kill me in a more personal way. Silk pillow over my face, slow and gentle suffocation. Just you and me. Sensual. - page 80

Shut up, shut all the way up, oh my God. - page 131

For fuck's sake, man, you just had my dick in your mouth, you can kiss me good-night. - page 145

What in the rich-white-people-sex-dungeon hell? - page 149

Bisexuality is truly a rich and complex tapestry. - page 194

Listen: I'll fly to London right now and pull you out of whatever pointless meeting you're in and make you admit how much you love it when I call you "baby". I'll take you apart with my teeth, sweetheart. - page 204

You don't get to sit up here and pretend like it's someone else's problem. None of us do. - page 209

i want to see a cage match between your grandmother and this fucking ghoul running against my mom. - page 221

I do think I got a gut feeling with you, I just didn't have what I needed in my head to understand it. But I kind of kept chasing it anyway, like I was just going blindly in a certain direction and hoping for the best. I guess that makes you the North Star? - page 244

Henry! Your Royal fucking Highness! - page 269

Really nice. Fuckin' ghost me for a week, make me stand in the rain like a brown John Cusack, and now you won't even talk to me. I'm really just having a great time here. I can see why y'all had to marry your fucking cousins. - page 270

I fucking love you, okay? Fuck, I swear. You don't make it fucking easy. But I'm in love with you. - page 271

I'll leave, as soon as you tell me to leave. - page 275

Okay, I'm into making history. - page 280

I completely fucking love you. - page 291

I'm there for whatever you decide you want to do, just, like, let me know if I need to start practicing gazing wistfully out the window, waiting for my love to return from the war. - page 296

AN INCOMPLETE LIST: THINGS I LOVE ABOUT HRH PRINCE HENRY OF WALES Note: just the entire list, I need it, but I'll point out some of the best ones anyway lol

9. How hard you try. 10. How hard you've always tried. 11. How determined you are to keep trying. - page 303

16. Your huge, generous, ridiculous, indestructible heart. 17. Your equally huge dick. 18. The face you just made when you read that last one. - page 303

20. The fact that you loved me all along. - page 303

God, I want to fight everyone who's ever hurt you, but it was me too, wasn't it? All that time. I'm so sorry. - page 303

Listen, I'm telling you right now, I will physically fight your grandmother myself if I have to, okay? And, like, she's old. I know I can take her. - page 312

You and me and history, remember? We're just gonna fucking fight. Because you're it, okay? I'm never gonna love anybody in the world like I love you. - page 312

Sería una mentira, porque no sería él. (It would be a lie, because it wouldn't be him.) - page 317

but i've kissed your mouth, that corner, that place it goes, so many times now. i've memorized it. topography on the map of you, a world i'm still charting. i know it. i added it to the key. here: inches to miles. i can multiply it out, read your latitude and longitude. recite your coordinates like la rosaria. - page 319

give yourself away sometimes, sweetheart. there's so much of you. - page 320

Zahra, you're my mean friend. - page 339

I've never... I haven't been through anything like that. But I've always felt it, in him. There's this side of him that's... unknowable. But the thing is, jumping off cliffs is kinda my thing. That's the choice. I love him, with all that, because of all that. On purpose. I love him on purpose. - page 344

For what it's worth, that is the bravest son of a bitch I've ever met. - page 347

My life is a cosmic joke and you're not a real person. - page 371

You are, the absolute worst idea I've ever had. - page 372

FIRST SON ALEXANDER CLAREMONT-DIAZ'S ADDRESS FROM THE WHITE HOUSE, OCTOBER 2, 2020 - pages 372-375 Note: just, the entire speech, the whole thing

America: He is my choice. - page 374

Henry Lines:

Hmm, I always liked Luke. He's brave and good, and he's the strongest Jedi of them all. I think Luke is proof that it doesn't matter where you come from or who your family is--you can always be great if you're true to yourself. - page 45

The turkeys are not going to Jurassic Park you. You’re not the bloke from Seinfeld. You’re Jeff Goldblum. Go to sleep. - page 82

You are the thistle in the tender and sensitive arse crack of my life. - page 73

fucking eyelashes - page 142

I shall just have to make it the best orgasm of your life. What can I do to make it good for you? Talk about American tax reform during the act? Have you got talking points? - page 196

How is a man to get anything done knowing Alex Claremont-Diaz is out there on the loose? - pages 202-203

They wanted something less fruity than the truth, but truly, what is gayer than a woman who languishes away in a crumbling mansion wearing her wedding gown every day of her life, for the drama? - page 205

Someone else's choice doesn't change who you are. - page 229

Most things are awful most of the time, but you're good. - page 230

The phrase "see attached bibliography" is the single sexiest thing you have ever written to me. - page 241

Should I tell you that when we're apart, your body comes back to me in dreams? That when I sleep, I see you, the dip of your waist, the freckle above your hip, and when I wake up in the morning, it feels like I've been with you, the phantom touch of your hand on the back of my neck fresh and not imagined? That I can feel your skin against mine, and it makes every bone in my body ache? That, for a few moments, I can hold my breath and be back there with you, in a dream, in a thousand rooms, nowhere at all? - page 242 Note: based on the parts of this we did get to hear Nick say in the film, I think this would kill half the fandom lol

When have I ever, since the first instant I touched you, pretended to be anything less than in love with you? - page 272

I never thought I'd be stood here faced with a choice I can't make, because I never... I never imagined you would love me back. - page 273

The Mail will write mad speculations about where I've gone, if I've offed myself or vanished to St. Kilda, but only you and I will know that I'm just sprawled in your bed, reading books and feeding myself profiteroles and making love to you endlessly until we both expire in a haze of chocolate sauce. It's how I'd want to go. - page 294

Here lies Prince Henry of Wales. He died as he lived: avoiding plans and sucking cock. - page 298

"Because I'm not like the rest of the men of this family, beginning with the fact that I am very deeply gay, Philip." - page 298

But the first time I saw you. Rio. I took that down to the gardens. I pressed it into the leaves of a silver maple and recited it to the Waterloo Vase. It didn't fit in any rooms. - page 300

I thought, this is the most incredible thing I have ever seen, and I had better keep it a safe distance away from me. I though, if someone like that ever loved me, it would set me on fire. - page 300

And then, inexplicably, you had the absolute audacity to love me back. - page 300 Note: I really wanted to just type out most of the page, but I restrained myself lmfao

I don't know if I would have chosen it yet, but it's out there now, and... I won't lie. Not about this. Not about you. - page 338

Bit short for a stormtrooper. - page 340

I've bloody well had it. I've sat about long enough letting you and Gran and the weight of the damned world keep me pinned, and I'm finished. I don't care. You can take your legacy and your decorum and you can shove it up your fucking arse, Philip. I'm done. - page 347

I've been as gay as a maypole since the day I came out of Mum, Philip. - page 353 Note: there's never too many times to hear the words "gay as a maypole" and the emotional infliction here is lot different lol

Both:

Am I offending you? Sorry I'm not obsessed with you like everyone else. I know that must be confusing for you. Do you know what? I think you are. Only a thought. Have you ever noticed I have never once approached you and have been exhaustingly civil every time we've spoken? Yet here you are, seeking me out again. Simply an observation. - page 18

This is idiotic. Let's get it over with. I'd rather be waterboarded. Your country could probably arrange that. Go fuck yourself. Hardly enough time. - pages 36-37 Note: yes, I know Nick read this part in his book-to-screen video thingy but it's not the same as having them both saying the lines fully in character.

What does Jedi have? Fuckin' Ewoks. Ewoks are iconic. Ewoks are stupid. - page 52

yo there's a bond marathon on and did you know your dad was a total babe I BEG YOU TO NOT - page 84

I'm going to die. I'm going to kill you. Yes, you are. - page 133

You were jealous. You want me. Yes, you preening arse, I've wanted you long enough that I won't have you tease me for another fucking second. - page 137

Hi. Hello. I'm gonna take your pants off now. Yes, good, carry on. - page 141

Ugh, you look ridiculous. Should I-- What? No, of course not, keep them on. Oh my God, what are you doing? I can't even look at you. No, Jesus, I just mean--I'm so mad at you. Just, come here. Fuck. I'm quite confused. Me fucking too. - page 150

I'm not... historically great at talking about things. Well, I wasn't historically great at blowjobs, but we all gotta learn and grow, sweetheart. - page 165

Bitch, you took me there. alskdjfadslfjad NORA YOU BROKE HIM - page 212

D'you know what I want? What? I want, to do the absolute last thing I'm supposed to be doing right now. Then tell me to do it, sweetheart. Fuck me. Well, when at Wimbledon. Just so we're clear, I'm about to have sex with you in this storage closet to spite your family. Like, that's what's happening? Right. Awesome, fucking' love doing things out of spite. - page 217 Note: I think this conversation could singlehandedly kill the fandom if we got to hear Taylor and Nick deliver these lines

Can't you ever just do one thing without having to be so goddamn extra about it? That is bloody rich coming from you. - pages 260-261

What do you want? I want you- Then fucking have me. -but I don't want this. - page 273

You seem... less pissy. You're one to talk. I wasn't the one who stormed the palace in a fit to call me an 'obtuse fucking asshole'. In my defense, you were an obtuse fucking asshole. - page 277

I honestly have never thought I deserved to choose. But you treat me like I do. You do. I think I'm actually starting to believe that. - page 279

What about you? What about me? Christ, Alex. The whole bloody time. The whole time? Since the Olympics. The Olympics? But that's, that's like- Yes, Alex, the day we met, nothing gets past you, does it? 'What about you,' he says, as if he doesn't know- Shut your mouth. - page 283-284

Hello, what was that for? I just, like, really love you. - page 286

What are you doing? I'm taking a picture of a national gay landmark. And also a statue. It's funny. I always thought of the whole things as the most unforgivable thing about me, but you act like it's one of the best. Oh, yeah. The top list of reason to love you goes brain, then dick, then imminent status as a revolutionary gay icon. You are quite literally Queen Victoria's worst nightmare. And that's why you love me. My god, you're right. All this time, I was just after the bloke who'd most infuriate my homophobic forebears. Ah, and we can't forget they were also racist. Certainly not. Next time we shall visit some of the George III pieces and see if they burst into flame. - page 289

If Alex from this time last year could see this. He'd say, 'Oh I'm in love with Henry? That must be why I'm such an arse to him all the time'. - page 387

Thanks for reading!! If you enjoyed this post & would like to support me, you can give me a tip on my Ko-Fi! ☺️

[rosietaeyongswife]

maps | jjh

genre: angst, fluff, suggestive, secret agent jaehyun x reader synopsis: Your husband was killed year ago by an unknown man. The griev and unsolved case kept you at night. After meeting your late husband's unfamiliar friend, you found new mission in your life. Find out who killed your husband Jaehyun. wc: 7.5k tw: cursing, blood, death, suggestive themes, guns, misscariage, grammar mistakes etc. au: it's been a long time lol there are still mistakes for sure, but i think i got better? at least i'm trying. hope you enjoy this. as always, i made it with jaehyun, because he literally fits every role??? peace yo

"It's been a year, move on." Your father sat down with a cup of tea in his left hand. "I love you, you're my daughter and I'm aware you loved him deeply. We all are. I mean, you can't ruin your life, because your husband got killed. I'm not saying you should forget him, I'm saying you should move on, Y/N. Please."

Seems like it's about 100th time your father brings the topic. Not even mentioning other people in your life. They could never understand the pain you feel. They could never understand how does it feel to lose person you've loved for so many years.

"How am I supposed to move on, dad? Tell me, how? I can't sleep at night, I have to go to therapy and take these pills that makes me weak as a bitch, and I don't even have an energy to talk with you, yet you're here telling me to move on?" Telling him all that felt relieving. Made you feel lighter. "You don't have any idea how it is. None of you! I don't want to see you or mom, coming here and acting as if y'all are my therapist."

"We're trying to help you, you're our daughter. We mean only the best for you, okay? Honey, you can't freeze in time and griev your whole life. Jaehyun wouldn't want that."

"Don't speak about it. You didn't even know him. Leave it, please."

Jaehyun was married to you for almost four years, and these were the best years of your life. You met at high school, then started dating at your senior year at college, and get married two years later. The job he had made your life harder. He was working for Korean Secret Forces, as an agent. High rank, excellent skills and results.

He was supposed to be go on a trip to Japan, when he got shot and killed. No one knows why, nor how did it happened.

"Y/N, you have still a lot to live. Being mean towards us won't change a thing. I'm leaving, if you need something, call us."

Cementary felt like your second home. A year ago, you used to come here everyday for two months, then lesser and now you're doing it once a week. Always brining candles or flowers with you. Your husband deserves to never be forgotten.

Crossing path, you spotted a man sitting by your husband's grave. Walking slowly to see who is it, you saw a face you've never seen before.

"Mind asking, who you are?"

Man turned around, and looked into your eyes. He was about 10cm highter than you, and had white, medium lenght hair. His gaze was strong, and gave you chills.

"You're his wife, right?" You nodded. "Jaehyun was a great man. I've never had a chance to meet you, and talk because of work, but I used to work with your husband. We were pretty close, I guess." He seems to be saying the truth, but you were bit taken aback. You knew majority of Jaehyun friends, but not him. "Jaehyun probably never mentioned my name, I am Yuta."

"Nice to meet you. My name is Y/N." You two shake your hands. "Is there a reason why he didn't meniton you?"

"Listen Y/N, I can't tell you much-"

"He was killed by Secret Forces, wasn't he? It wasn't an accident." You claimed while blankly staring at Yuta.

"How-"

"Jaehyun was too good for a rookie mistake, I'm sure he would dodge the bullet. Answer me honestly."

Yuta sighed. People way above him, or Jaehyun, made an awesome narrative. Most skilled and talented man of Secret Forces got shot by unknown man on his off duty. Unbeliveable lie.

"It for sure wasn't an accident. As I said, I can't tell you much. But I want you to be careful, it's dangerous. Jaehyun found something and it got him killed. I don't want you to die or to suffer, because of that. I promised Jaehyun to keep an eye on you."

Your heart almost stopped, and your vission was blurry. Of course, you had some theories on why did Jaehyun die, but mostly it was his postion in work. Many would kill for his job, and it'd be good reason to kill him. But now, as you're aware it wasn't it, you felt sick.

"What are you talking about? What did he find?"

"I can't tell you, because I'm not aware of everything. I'd suggest for you to not dig into it. Live your life, and don't look for anything, Y/N."

"My husband was killed, because he found something. He was killed, while we have expected the baby! He left me alone, hearbroken and lonely. Don't you think, I deserve at least the reason?"

"Baby? You're mother?"

Yuta was surprised, because he has been following you for months, since Jaehyun knew he was in trouble, yet he had never seen you with a child.

"I had a misscariage. It was thrid month, when Jaehyun died. Due to stress and everything, my body gave up. Awful times." You tried to laugh, but you failed. "I don't want to complain about my life, there's no point. I want the truth."

"Just leave it. Jaehyun died because of your co-called 'truth', so you better move on. Forget about me, and forget we met." Yuta made his way out of the grave, but he turned quickly. "I'm sorry for your loss. About Jaehyun, and your baby. Good luck, Y/N."

The first thing that came to your mind to call Jungwoo and Johnny to meet. Two of them were best buddies with Jaehyun, they had to know something. You demand answers.

"Do any of you know Yuta?"

Jungwoo and Johnny looked at each other, which was obvious for you - they do.

"Why you're asking?" Jungwoo chuckled. "I thought we were supposed to hang out and talk shit."

"I met him today. At cementary, at Jaehyun's grave to be exact." Johnny chocked on his saliva. "Why I had no clue about him?"

"What did he say?"

"Johnny, don't fuckin do it. Answer me, you two, now. I've been gaslighted for a year. Is it some joke to you? To play dumb around me?"

"Relax, it's not that deep."

"Answers."

"Yuta was working with Jaehyun for few months." Jungwoo stated as he was taking a sip of his beer. "He's japanese member of the crew. Yuta Nakamoto was working with Jaehyun on some project, extra secretive thing. We don't know what were they doing, though."

"So, what did he say?"

"Jaehyun found something that got him killed. I told y'all it wasn't an accident. I've known it was a murder. I knew."

"Y/N, you can't just believe in every word he says. We don't know him well, he migh've been lyin-"

"I believe him. Please." You rolled your eyes. "My husband wasn't some kind of a rookie, nope. He was the captain of his crew, soon to be officer. How couldn't he dodge the bullet? In the daylight? And the suspect have never been found. Sounds weird to me."

"There was an open investigation, and we were working hard-"

"Don't bullshit me, right now."

"Even if it's true, stay out of this. It's clearly something he wasn't supposed to know, and look. He's six feet under, now, sniffing the flowers from the other side." Johnny said firmly. The tone was suspicious, and you realize he was nervous. "Can we change the subject?"

Agony. You got rid of agony. In your life there's a new mission. To find the truth. You won't rest easy until you get to know what happened. Why did your husband had to die.

The lock of the attic opened. After Jaehyun's death, police came and took some of his personal stuff. You didn't give them everything, though. There must be something in his stuff.

After an hour, you didn't find much. Some rapports, evidence on minor crimes, suspects, scratches of something, to-do lists, and notes he used to make for you. As when you were about to give up, you found small piece of paper with a phone number on.

"What?" Male voice came from the other side. A bit cold, you'd say. "Who are you?"

"Hey, I am Y/N. Jung Y/N." Silence. "Jaehyun's wife."

"How did you get my phone number?"

"I found it. May I ask, who are you?"

"No, you're not going to ask me questions." Cold tone made you annoyed. "Jaehyun is dead, and here you are calling me. Why?"

"I know Jaehyun got murdered by his company. Please, I need to find the truth. I was looking for clues in his stuff, so I came across this phone number. I need help."

"I can't help you. I-"

"Please. I'll do everything."

Short silence made you believe, he's about to hang up.

"Meet me at 10. I'll send you adress. Alone." He sighed. "If you're from police, you're dead. See ya."

The adress seems sketchy as fuck, but you had to risk it. You felt like throwing up, because of the stress and everything that's about to happen. You were working as a private math teacher, not as a detective.

Area you're in, was abandomen long ago. There were only empty and destroyed buildings around, and not a sound of life around. Suddenly, you felt hands around you and on your mouth. Someone grab you, and took you in one of the building.

In front of you, were two men. One, black hair and bunny-like face, and the other one looked like a character straight from the anime.

"Are you a plug? Police? FBI? CIA? Secret Forces? SWAT?" You remember the voice, it's a guy who you've spoken to this morning. The guy with a black hair. "Answer us, now."

"No? The fuck! I told you, I'm Jaehyun's wife. I swear to God, I'm working as a private math teacher. I have no connection to police, besides my late husband."

"Taeyoung, check her ID."

They took your documents, and in fact, you wasn't lying.

"She's not lying. She's really Jaehyun's wife."

"Fuck." The other male sighed. "I told him to burn my phone number, dumb fucker. Why did you call? What do you want?"

"I want to know what happened to Jaehyun. I met Yuta today, I guess you must know him." They nodded. "I don't know if you're from Secret Forces, but you knew Jaehyun. The note wasn't in his offical case, why? Who are you?"

"I'm Kim Doyoung. I'm a hacker, and old friend of Jaehyun. We got few classes together back in college."

"And you?"

"Lee Taeyong. I'm his best friend, roommate and I used to be Jaehyun's plug."

"Jaehyun had a plug? Why? What?"

"I see you're confused." Doyoung softened. "Yuta must told you to stay out of this case, right? Why don't you listen? You need adrenaline? If yes, go to Bunjee jump. You want to get yourself killed?"

The way him, Taeyong and Yuta were so secretive made your blood boil. Also, the fact you had no idea Jaehyun knew them was even more annoying.

"If your wife got killed, wouldn't she want to know what happened? I demand answers. They can't get away with killing an innocent person."

"As if it was that easy." Taeyong sat down with a gun in his hand.

"You want answers?" You nodded. "Alright. But I don't guarante, you're going to be safe later. I can't promise that." You agreed without a word. "Jaehyun was a right man. He had his morals, and let's say, he didn't agree with few things with his boss and other assholes."

"He was in China, right?" Taeyong asked. "It all started there. During his stay there, and mission an innocent men got killed. He was chinese-korean, living with his wife and two kids. Provider of the family, and taxi driver. Jaehyun got told, he was super dangerous killer who killed around 10 korean soldiers in X Zone. The mission was easy. Get rid of the target."

"So he did. He and his people, including Jungwoo and Johnny. They had no idea, he was completly innocent guy. He was just a taxi driver, who wouldn't hurt a fly. The above wanted to get rid of him to show chinese mob, they don't care. Jaehyun got to know by accident, because he overheard his boss talking about it."

"It turned out, they killed more innocent people. He found corruption, and more evidence on illegal cases in the company. Doyoung hacked the system, and I asked the right people." Your brain was trying to process what they were saying. "There was a case of files tittled with his last name. They planned to get rid of evidence, and frame Jaehyun to become a hitman. Cruel killer, who killed innocent guys."

"What?"

"Jaehyun told them to turn themselfs in. To go to a trial court. Before he even told them, someone snitched on him. We don't know who, but they knew. The above ordered to kill him as soon as possible. I believe it must've been someone from his team. They can't be trusted, Y/N." Doyoung sighed. "Not even Jungwoo, or Johnny. We have no idea how much they know."

Your world was spinning around, and many more questions come with it. It felt as if your life got ruined in seconds. Your husband was always someone, who people looked up to. He hated discrimination, and lack of justice. He knew too much.

"But Yuta is alive."

"Jaehyun never mentioned Yuta. We're sure, they tortured him before getting on that street and shooting him. Someone was supposed to tell the truth, but Yuta can't be another one killed."

"Jungwoo and Johnny, they know?"

"They have to know." Taeyong said with a smile. "Think. They were close, if they didn't then Jaehyun wouldn't trust them. Who knows. Maybe they killed him."

There's no way. Jungwoo and Johnny were best friends with Jaehyun for years. They could never hurt him, not saying about killing him. They weren't capable, were they?

"I need to find the killer, and the evidence. I'll end what Jaehyun has started. I don't care, I have nothing to lose." You stood up, still overwhelmed by all the informations. "Even if it means, I'm going to die. Jaehyun didn't deserve to die."

"Y/N, it's danegrous. You can't put yourself into danger, because of grief and rage. Think about it. You can still get your life together-"

"No. I need to do it for him. And I need your help."

That night, you couldn't sleep. All you was thinking about was your hsuband and guys he was working with. There is no turning back now, you're going to get your revenge. No matter what. But the only thing couldn't let go. Yuta was keeping an eye on you for months, and yes, you had theory someone was following you, or stalking. Few times, you've spotted a shadow in your house. Some car passing your house three times a day. But you could swear to God, the shadow or sillhouete you've spotted was taller than Yuta. Yuta was about 5'10, while the person you saw so many times was for sure taller. Could Jaehyun sent someone else too?

After you left, Doyoung and Taeyong looked at each other sending signal.

"Y/N found us." Doyoung was gripping his phone hard, while waiting until the other person say something. "She called me earlier today. I am sure, she's going to find the killer."

"Don't let her. Keep her safe, Doyoung."

"It's too late now."

"Understood."

Taeyoung looked at his friend stressed. They nodded at each other, and went to their places waiting for next things coming.

"I'm so happy, you're moving on!" Your mother hugged you. "Are you sure about moving out part? It's your house, after all."

"Living here reminds me of Jaehyun too much. I found nice apartament in the centre of city, and I'm going to live closer to the company. Only prons."

"Jungwoo is picking you up?"

"He's already there." Your friend honked. "I gotta go. Let's go. I'm starting new chapter."

"We're proud of you." Your dad kissed your cheek. "Call us when you're in your new place. We're happy for you."

Drive to your new place was really comfortable, Jungwoo was cracking jokes all the time and he was expressing how happy he was for you.

"By the way, thank you. I really appreciate you recommended me for the company and you're driving me to my new place."

"Please, don't. It's just a pleasure to help you, Y/N. I am here for you anytime." He smiled at you. "You know, we are buddies now."

"Yes, dude."

"You sound like Mark now."

"Is it a bad thing?"

"Duh. He overuse 'dude'. Don't be like Mark."

Jungwoo wasn't right. Dude is literally Mark. Mark is dude. There's no Mark Lee without a 'dude' every few seconds. Almost like a comma.

After a month of working in Secret Forces as analyst, you were secured in your spot. No one suspected you of anything. Not many knew you were widow and Jaehyun's wife. Only the above knew, and Johnny, Jungwoo and Mark. You were lowkey about your business, and never mentioned anything harmful to you.

"We're going to hang out and drink sojuu, you're coming?" Mark asked with sparkling eyes. "Please, you always decline. Only me, Johnny, Jungwoo and Taeil. He went to the same University as you, I believe."

"Mark, I have a work to do. I need to do research, and write a raport."

"And you have a weekend for that. Just this once. We're not that bad, after all. Boys wants you to come. C'mon."

"Bet."

Mark left happy, because after 5th time asking, you agreed. By the time he was gone, you could check your other phone. You saw notification popping up on your homescreen.

dy: i need u to go and find login to y'all system dy: asap dy: don't get caught tho

Every single worker have own login, but login of people with high ranks are different each. With a sigh, you left your office and went towards the lift. You waved to few people, you got to know, and went to 14th floor. There must be the office of your boss.

There was no one in sight, so you just went in carefully. He was gettin his daily coffee on 4th floor with his friends, so he won't be there any time soon. You knew there were cameras, but Doyoung took care of that long time ago.

"Fuck. Where's the damn laptop."

As far as you know, they don't use their logins on official PC's, but have their own laptops with a base of every file possible.

Finally, you spotted black laptop on the pile of books in the corner. Looking around, you put USB cable in laptop. Thanks to that, Doyoung can hack everything from the laptop.

dy: i need 2 minutes dy: ok take the cable off, and meet me in your smoking spot behind the building

"I'm going out with boys tonight. After the work. In an hour."

"Be careful, though. Remember, we don't know how much do they know."

"They were best friends with Jaehyun. They couldn't be harmful."

"Maybe you're right, but there's no harm in being careful." He sighed. "I'll check everything, and tell you what we found. For now, be sure no one saw you."

The restaurant was really comfy, and have it's vibe. You felt as you were a kid again with your parents on Sunday's dinner. Nostalgic place.

"The owner is my uncle." Taeil laughed. "He opened the restaurant like 5 years ago? It's one of the best, I swear to God."

"Your uncle?" You were in disbelief. "The food is amazing. I love their dumplings."

"My uncle is the same person as Gordon Ramsey."

"Maybe let's not go there." Johnny cut off laughing. "You're lying."

"Ya, do you doubt me!"

"Gentlemen, stop."

The conversation went smoothly. You got to know, Taeil was your senior while you were freshman in the University.

"I remember the time we were training, and we were supposed to get all 10s with shooting, but Jungwoo missed every single one."

"Ya, really! I got 6, it's not bad."

"You're classified as blind, Woo. Don't you know?" Taeil laughed with Johnny. "He's really fit, but the guns and him aren't good couple."

"I have hidden talent with guns."

"And it stays hidden, Jungwoo." Johnny rolled his eyes. "And you Y/N? Have you ever held a gun?"

"Not really. I am clueless about all the weapons. Even knives. The only knife I've ever came across, was the one to peel the apples. Really."

"Then why did you join us? I mean, our job is almost like American CIA or FBI. I know your analyst, but why here?"

Taeil asked you question, and you froze for a minute. Jungwoo noticed your confused expression, and get you out of the awkward situation.

"Discrimination? Just because she wasn't trained like us means, she can't work with us? Ya, Moon Taeil, I thought you wasn't a jerk."

All of you were laughing, and you were thankful for him saving you.

"No! Sorry, I just-"

"I was bored. Math teacher isn't exciting, right? I found there was a need for analyst, so I applied. I need adrenaline in my life."

"Don't we all?" Mark sighed. "But our job is kinda boring. We don't do much nowadays."

"And nice. We should rest." Johnny took a sip of sojuu. "Let's drink and have a blast before coming back to that shithole in two days."

Two hours passed, and you were ready to come back home. Boys seems to have fun, and they planned to go Taeil's place to have more sojuu and watch movies.

"I really gotta go. I had fun, and I really like you, but it's getting darker." You claimed, while taking your coat on. "Bye."

They waved you goodbye, but Mark stopped you.

"Wait! Jungwoo is totally wasted, and he's asking if you could drive him home. I mean, you're the only one who wasn't drinking." He held his neck. "If no, then we can call the cab."

"No need for that." You smiled. "I'll get his drunk ass and get him to his place. Where's he?"

Jungwoo was sitting on the passenger seat, and he was white as ghost.

"Woo, are you alright?"

"I think Imma throw up." The mumble wasn't clear, and it took you a second to understand.

"Shit, wait. We're going to my place, it's closer. You look like you're about to pass out. You can stay the night."

"Can I?"

"Oh, shut up."

Taking Jungwoo into your place wasn't an easy task. He was 6ft, and his ass wouldn't hurry up, which made you go to the door for about 10 minutes.

"Here, sit down and drink some water." You passed him the glass. "Are you going to throw up?"

"I am not sure."

"Sit there, I'll take a shower. If you need to throw up, there's a bowl under the sink."

Jungwoo saluted, and you chuckled. You must admit, he was kinda cute. You slapped yourself mentally for that thought. You can't think about him in that way, after all he's your dead husband friend.

You came back to Jungwoo laying on the couch with his eyes closed, thinking he was sleeping, you was walking on your tippy toes.

"I'm not sleeping, Y/N. Can you come here?" He opened his arm. "C'mon. Please. I am so drunk, I can't. I need a hug."

"Jungwoo, I don't think-"

"Just lay down, and relax. I'm not going to touch you, c'mon."

Jungwoo made space for you. Being this close to him, made you nervous. It's been a while since you was this close to a man.

"Why aren't you sleeping, dumbass? You look like a ghost.

"Ah, really. I still have a time. You know what, I really respect you, Y/N. I admire how strong you are, and how smart you are. Really. I'm always surprised because of you."

"Jungwoo, don't sugarcoat me." You chuckled. "You're drunk."

"I mean it. I really, really mean it. I'm happy you're moving on with your life. Jaehyun was lucky to have you, you know. I've been jealous of him." You chuckled, because drunk Jungwoo was funny and he wasn't aware of his words. "Don't laugh. We all were jealous of you two."

"Woo, please. There's other couples like that. It's a past. I need to move on, and I did, to be honest. I'm not thinking about Jaehyun that much." There was a bit of truth in that. You couldn't tell others about your plan, so it was better to make them think you really moved on, but at the other hand. You missed being loved. "I think I should date again."

"Ya, that's what I'm saying!" He said confidently with a pout. "I agree. But Y/N. I really like you. We've been hanging out a lot past weeks, and I really like you. I found you pretty and I'd like to kiss you."

Before you could answer, surprised with his confession he was long asleep on his back. Your heart skipped a beat, because you had no clue someone have a crush on you. Someone like Kim Jungwoo. You knew Jaehyun would like you to date one of his friends, instead of complete stranger.

"If I ever pass away, please. Y/N date either Johnny or Jungwoo." He was caressing your cheek. "I know they would take great care of you. I trust them. If you'd date a stranger, they know to kill him, you know."

"Jaehyun don't even say that. Only person I'm going to date is you. Don't talk about your dead, you're not going to die."

"You never know. In this line of work, you gotta be ready for everything. I told them the same thing. Personally, I'd took Jungwoo. He isn't going to work the same job as long as he thought."

"Honey, you're my husband talking about dating your best friend. Let's not."

He chuckled and kissed you. Little did you know, Jaehyun was aware he didn't have much left to live.

"I like you too." You whispered, and fall asleep.

'I left to work. Sorry for the trouble! I don't even remember how did I end up at your place! Not mentioning, sleeping next to you. LOL. I was wasted as fuck. Sorry again! I made you breakfast, hope you like scrambled eggs with kimchi and toast. See ya at work! Jungwoo~'

Smile crept on your face, because it was lovely. It's been a long time since someone made you breakfast. You shook your head, and reminded yourself to not get distracted.

"I found something interesting." Doyoung said while eating cookies, Taeyoung bought. "Look."

He passed you his laptop, and there was files named after Jaehyun and they were marked as top secret. You opened them, and there were synopsis of him and his life. You were also mentioned there as his wife, but not much.

"What's interesting in there?"

"Look at the date of his death. 12th February. He was killed five days later. We have a direct evidence his death was planned."

"I knew it. Who else can open these?"

"Not many. Bosses and officers. There's many suspects, Y/N. I saw someone deleted some files, and I tried to recover them. I'm not sure if it's possible."

"Do your best, please. I am sure, Johnny and Jungwoo don't know exactly what happened with Jaehyun."

"How?"

You could tell he wasn't convinced.

"I just know. They must been suspicious of Yuta, that's why they were nervous."

"Remember, you can't be sure of anything."

"I know them longer than I do you. I can tell when something is off."

"Don't let your feelings take control of you."

"I don't."

Taeyong laughed.

"You're not as trained as we are. No one can be trusted. We're partners, we can trust each other, but them? I'm not sure."

"I shouldn't trust you, since I don't know you. But guess what. I'm doing my best, so please. Shut up." You got up. "I'm going to the company. If you have something, let me know."

As soon as you left, Doyoung called.

"Yuta, keep an eye on her in the company. Especially on Jaehyun's buddies."

"Fuck. I told you to get this idea out of her mind."

"Was I supposed to let her do it on her own, and get her killed? Jaehyun wouldn't be happy."

"She's getting too comfortable. We can't let her know everything, Doyoung. You deleted the files?"

"I did. I sent them."

"Good. Bye."

Kim Doyoung told you, he wasn't able to find the deleted files. You couldn't blame him for his failed mission, since he was doing already a lot. At the other hand, you tried asking people. Mentioning Jaehyun, but no a single soul had any idea about him, or his death.

Boys and you hang out again. This time, you got drunk. You didn't have to do much for work, since you got everything done before deadline. Jungwoo drive you home.

"Ah, Y/N. You're cute when you're drunk."

"I feel sarcasm, idiot."

"It's not." He laughed. "You look pretty. Here we are." He parked in front of your building. "Dummy."

"Kiss me then."

"What?"

"You said I'm pretty. Kiss me or you're lying."

You were way too drunk to care, or to be aware of your words.

"You're drunk-"

"Do it."

Jungwoo was looking into your eyes, the next second his hands cuped your cheeks and he was kissing you. The kiss lasted for few seconds, and it got you warmed up.

"Y/N-"

"Wanna come in?"

On your way to your place, both of you were kissing, not giving a damn about people passing you. It felt as if you two were waiting for this moment to come for the longest time ever. As you were kissing Jungwoo, you couldn't put the key in.

"Let me do it."

Next thing you remember, was the two of you undressing in your bedroom. Jungwoo didn't break the kiss, when he was getting your clothes off.

"I've been waiting for this moment for such a long time." He whined. "You really turn me the fuck on."

"Kim Jungwoo, just fuck me."

Both of you, too busy with each other, failed to notice tall silhouete standing in the dark corner of your place watching you. The man clenched his fists hard, feeling his blood boil. Jaehyun was watching his best friend fuckin his wife. He wanted to get out the shadow, and kill Jungwoo for it. He wanted to scream, but he knew he couldn't. Officialy, he's dead.

"I'll kill him." He whispered, and left as quiet as he entered.

Jung Jaehyun is very alive, and healthy.

Past days were peacful and relaxed, something you couldn't feel for a while. Jungwoo and you weren't dating yet. You wanted to take things slow, because at the back of your head, you could see Jaehyun.

Peace was broken, when Yuta paid you a visit.

"Listen, I don't care what you're doing with who, but I can't agree for you to lose your mind over someone." He sighed. "There's no one you can trust, especially Jaehyun's ex friends."

"The only person I shouldn't trust is you, Yuta. I don't know you at all, Doyoung and Taeyong don't talk about you, nor Jaehyun did. It's logical for me to trust them, not you."

Yuta felt as he was talking to a child. You were stubborn, way too much for Yuta's liking. His Japanese temper was getting real bad with you. He felt hopeless, because no matter how many times, he's telling you to stay away from Jaehyun ex co-workers, you don't listen.

"How do you know they didn't get their hands dirty with Jaehyun? What if they're involved but you don't know? You don't know them, Y/N. You have this pov of them as your husband's co-workers, not as actual people."

"Wait." You paused. "Don't you and boys know somethind I don't? Doyoung also told me to stay away from them. Why?"

"You know I don't." His body tensed up. "For some reason, as you claim, your husband didn't tell anything to them. I know, I know." He rolled his eyes. "It was dangerous, but they were friends for years, Y/N, years. Not even a word?"

Doyoung was walking down the woods, hidden from the city. Not many people visited the woods, because they weren't fameous as other one.

"You're alone?" Doyoung nodded as he entered small house. "What's up."

"You're not going to do anything with Jungwoo? He's fuckin your wife, Jaehyun. It's so painfully obvious. She likes him."

Jaehyun clenched his jaw.

"Not now. I can't just kill him out of the blue. For now, it's alright as long as he's not putting her in danger. I sent Yuta to talk to her, but she's not interested in his advice."

"Y/N is independant. I mean, she left the theraphy long ago, and her main goal is to find your killer."

"Only if she knew what really happened."

"Are you going to reveal yourself?"

"No. It's better if I'm away from her."

Finding a killer of your late husband was draining. Jungwoo didn't have a clue what you're up to. He found you looking through multiple files at night, but he never dared to ask what's that.

Taeyong tried his best at finding answers to your questions, but there were none. He felt like giving up, together with Doyoung. It was complicated to find people, who know something. It was like a never ending task.

"Jaehyun body was never found. I think I'd cry out of happines if he would be alive somehow." You admited to Doyoung, who was sipping on his coffee. "Sometimes I feel like he's still with me. His presence."

"Even after dating Jungwoo?"

"Yes. I can't explain that feeling, but he's there. His ghost, at least."

Doyoung made a mental note to inform Jaehyun to keep it lowkey, since you probably could tell something is off. Maybe Jaehyun wasn't doing great job with following you? It could ruin a lot.

"Ghosts aren't real. You miss him, so your imagination makes you feel like he's here. Simple."

"Yes, I know. Still, I'd like to hang out with him for the last time. Do you know what's last thing we did?"

"Tell us." Yuta said, and you rolled your eyes at him. "I'm just asking, I swear to God."

"We had a fight. Cliche, yes. We had a fight about him not being at home much, because of work. I even thought he was cheating on me, because none of his friends spent so much time at the company as he did." You chuckled. "Then I realized how stupid it sounds, and I apologized. The next morning we were supposed to go to our favorite cafe, but as y'all know. He vanished and got shot."

"Were you supposed to tell him about pregnancy?"

"Of course. I planned to talk with him at our favorite place, and let him know he's about to become a father."

"Life's a bitch."

"Exactly. But for you it's past. Paniful past, but past. Now you're living new life, maybe you really should give up on finding Jaehyun's killer."

And maybe Yuta was right.

"I think I should. I have no clues, and no one knows anything. I am tired. One day I will know the truth, but not now."

"Facts. You have Jungwoo, right? You're in love and-"

"I am not." You cut Doyoung off. "I like him, and he's my boyfriend, but I can't say I'm in love with him. It's far from that."

"Understood, miss."

Your apartament was empty when you come. Jungwoo would hang out with you after work, but today he had to leave to Busan with Johnny. As you were walking around, you heard noise. The first thing you did, was to run for a knife.

"I'll kill you, if you step any further." You hissed.

To your surprise, Taeyong came out of shadow. He was wearing all black, and had a sad smile on his face.

"Easy. I'm not here to kill you, Y/N. I'm leaving Korea tonight." He got the knife out of your hand, and put it down on the counter. "I'm here to tell you what I know."

"What's going on? Did something happened? Someone's after you?"

"Not yet." He sighed. "I got the informations from secret documents, that Doyoung blocked. I don't know why, probably for you to feel safer. I recovered them, and I found something disturbing. The messages from a week ago. The man who killed Jaehyun is about to kill you."

Your vision became blurry, and you felt your throat tightening, making it hard to breathe.

"Do you know who sent them?"

"I don't. They were between two people, they're anonymous. No one can know, but one of them is going to try to kill you anytime soon. Probably this week. Please, stay safe. Be ready for anything, buy a gun, whatever. You can't trust no one, Y/N. I gotta go. It'd be better for you to have security or don't leave your place at night. Don't stay alone, okay?"

"Taeyong, why-"

"I have to, Y/N. I could be in trouble for warning you, plus I don't want Doyoung to get hurt. I'll get in touch as soon as possible, but for now." He turned around. "Lock the door, and find a weapon."

You did as Taeyong said. No one knew about the plan of killing you. No one can be trusted, especially after what Taeyong told you. Not even Jungwoo knew, besides the fact he was sleeping next to you every night. He was keeping you close, but it wasn't enough. You felt scared.

Past days, you didn't notice anyone following you. Mark, and Taeil would drop you off from work since you told them your car is gettin repaired, even though it wasn't true. Yuta and Doyoung didn't sense your odd behaviour. They thought you have tough days with work, since you told them you're giving up at finding Jaehyun's killer. Well, seems like he found you.

"Y/N, dinner's ready." Jungwoo smiled at you warmly. "I made your favorite, and bought wine on my way home. Is that fine?"

"Jungwoo, you didn't have to do all of this. I am thankfull, I appreciate that. You're the best."

"Today is special day. I want us to have the best dinner, and most magical time ever."

"Why?" You chuckled surprised. "Did something happend?"

"No reason, just 7th sense."

Odd. Jungwoo was really happy today, as if something happened. You thought maybe it was because of a promotion, since he was about to level up at the Secret Forces.

"Oh, I think someone is calling me." Doyoung's name popped up on your screen, but Jungwoo was quick to take your phone out of your hands. "Jungwoo."

"Please. Tonight is about us, not about your friends. It's probably not that important anywas. Can we move on?"

Jungwoo was right. Doyoung was calling you pretty often, and you had no idea why. Sometimes he was asking about you, or sometimes he was bragging about some bullshit you had no interest in.

As you were sitting on your bed, you felt kind of dizzy. Your head was spinning, and Jungwoo's voice was hard to hear. You tried to stand up, but you couldn't.

"Jungwoo, what's going on?"

"What do you mean? Nothing."

"I feel-"

You got cut off by sudden banging on the door. Before you process what happened, there was a tall man in your bedroom. Both you and Jungwoo couldn't believe your own eyes.

"Ya, really." Jungwoo hissed. "You're fuckin kidding me, right."

"You wish, motherfucker." Jaehyun's voice made you weak. He was there. Alive. "Leave her, the fuck, alone."

"I thought I killed you, didn't I?" Jungwoo was cocky, and you were shocked. Kim Jungwoo? Your cute Kim Jungwoo, who doesn't even know how to hold a gun was Jaehyun's killer? And Jaehyun's alive? "You're tough cookie, Jaehyun."

"It's not that easy to get rid of me. Now, leave my wife alone and step back before I'll slit your throat open."

"Wow, easy there, superman. I thought you were dead, but turnes out I missed? Fuck. I'll try better now."

"What is going on?" You asked still dizzy. "Jaehyun, you're alive. What happened? Please, tell me." Your eyes got wattery.

"Y/N, I need you to leave the bedroom. Leave the place, and call Doyoung and Yuta. Now."

"Nope, please."

Before you could do anything else, Jungwoo was coming at you with a knife, but Jaehyun pushed you away. You were on all four, creeping out of the bedroom. Seems like Jungwoo gave something in your drink or food. You lost balance, and you were laying down on the floor in the kitchen. Only banging, and grunts were heard from your bedroom. You were losing conciousness, while trying hard to not and to hear what's going on.

"Your wife is good in bed, huh. You have no clue how satisfied I was, knowing I was fuckin what belonged to you, Jaehyun." Jungwoo spitted blood out of his mouth. "I felt glory."

"You sick fucker." He punched his enemy in the face. "Don't mention my wife again. You fucked up our life. I thought you were my best friend. You're a traitor, Jungwoo and you'll pay for it."

"I don't think anyone would believe you." Jungwoo smirked.

"Doyoung have everything on you. Yuta too. They did nothing, because you picked to get close to Y/N. She couldn't know what happened. Not then."

"I knew I should've killed her sooner."

Without any word, Jaehyun got his gun and shot Jungwoo in his head. Bullet went through his brain, making a mess in your bedroom. Jungwoo's liveless body dropped on the floor, on the pool of blood.

You opened your eyes, and closed them right after. It was too light for you, and it was painful. You tried the second time, and you could feel shift on the surface you were on.

"Y/N? Oh, thank God you woke up." Jaehyun took your hand in his, and you felt overwhelmed with emotions. Your husband. Your true love was alive. "I am so sorry for everything, darling. I fucked up, but I am here again. This time forever."

"You're alive. Why did you do it to me? Why did you leave me and didn't come back?" You were crying, while Jaehyun was holding his tears in. "I was waiting for you to come back. Deep down I wasn't done with the fact you're dead. You have no idea what you put me through."

"I did it all to keep you safe. I couldn't risk your life, because of me, Y/N. I couldn't lose you, that's why. I was keeping an eye on you from afar. Doyoung, Taeyong and Yuta helped me. They tried to keep you away from Jungwoo."

"Jungwoo." You whispered. "Is he dead?" He nodded. "You killed him."

"I mean, he tried to kill me first. He was involved in case with taxi driver, and corruption. He was money laundering with our boss, and got big check for 'killing' me. Thankfully, he missed my heart by inches. Doyoung helped me."

"You could've told me. At least warn me. I missed you so much for past year. I thought I'm going to die, because of your loss. Do you have any idea how it is?"

"I don't and I'm sorry. I know your life was turned upside down, but I love you. I always been and I always will. Now, I'll gotta do my best for world to see what happened. I have proof of every illegal thing they've done."

You nodded, and tried to stop sobbing.

"Why didn't you kill Jungwoo back then?"

"Because they said, they're watching you. Before they tried to kill me, they blackmailed me. They had soldiers stalking you, and told me if something goes wrong, you're dead. Then everything is history. Listen, I love you too much. I had to do it for us." He kissed your hand. "I am sorry about pregnancy, I had no idea you were pregnant. Maybe if I knew, I'd stop and-"

"Jaehyun, no." You cut him off mid sentence. "No. It's not our fault. Shit happenes. I got over it a year ago. It's our past. Now I understand your motives. I am not mad anymore, but please. Let's move out from here, and let's start new life somewhere else."

"I've always wanted to live in Switzerland."

"Sounds great."

Jaehyun chuckled, and leant in to kiss you. After all the dark times, you could kiss your lover. Jaehyun was finally with you. Maybe there's still a chance for better days.

[vampirecorleone]

"But to my eyes, you looked like the bad guys too. That day, when you breached the wall, when titans destroyed my home, when I watched as my mom was eaten, I couldn't understand it. Why Reiner? Tell me why my mom was eaten by a titan." | "It's because we broke the wall that was protecting her." | "Why did you break the wall?" | "So we could use the chaos to sneak in. To find out if the King would react." | "But what was your mission? " | "To save the world by taking the Founder." | "Well, that's that. If all that was to save the world. Then you didn't have much choice." | "I remember what you said. You promised we'd pay for what we did and you promised pain. So, are you here to make me pay?" | "Yeah, I did say that, didn't I? Let's forget about that. At first, I considered every person on this side of the sea an enemy. But later, I crossed the sea, slept under my enemy's roof, ate the food they offered me. Reiner, I'm the same as you. Some of these people are awful, but some are good. Same where I'm from. Inside the walls, we're all just people. But you were taught that the people in the walls weren't like you, that we were demons. You were just kids who got brainwashed. Hatred was part of your training. As young as you were, how could you have fought that? You couldn't have, and well it, it looks like you've already paid." | "No! You're wrong, Eren! That day, when the titan got Marcel, Annie and Bertholdt wanted to end the mission right then. And they would've. But I convinced them to keep going. Not just to save my own skin, but, because I wanted to become a hero! I wanted to be respected! It's my fault! The, the truth is your mother was eaten by a titan because of me! Please, just kill me. I can't take this anymore." | "I was right. I am the same as you. I think maybe we were born this way. I'll just keep moving forward . . . til I've killed my enemies." Attack on Titan Character Appreciation - Eren Yeagar

[omgkatherine01]

Between Your Wings - Chapter 3: Back to the City

Series Masterlist

Chapter 2, Chapter 4

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x female reader x Rick Grimes (slow burn)

Please comment, like and share

That night, you sat around the campfire with the members of the camp. Rick was recounting his journey here, "I felt like I'd been ripped out of my life and put somewhere else. For a while I thought I was trapped in some coma dream, something I might not wake up from ever."

"Mom said you died," Carl said softly, and you tilted your head sadly.

Rick nodded, his voice soft, "She had every reason to believe that. Don't you ever doubt that."

"When things started getting really bad, they told us at the hospital that they were going to medevac you and other patients to Atlanta, but it never happened," Lori spoke up.

"Well, I'm not surprised after Atlanta fell," Rick said, "From the look of that hospital, it got overrun."

"Yeah, looks don't deceive," Shane finally spoke up, "I barely got them out, you know?"

Rick's eyes shifted to Shane, a small smile forming across his face, "I can't tell you how grateful I am to you, Shane. I can't begin to express it."

Dale smiled, leaning back in his seat, "There go those words falling short again. Paltry things."

The sound of a log being dropped into a nearby fire caught your attention. You glanced over at the Peletiers, Ed sitting back down in his seat. Every night since you'd all arrived here, he had insisted that his family have their own fire. He wanted to keep Carol and their daughter Sophia as far away from the rest of you as possible.

"Hey, Ed, you want to rethink that log?" Shane asked.

"It's cold, man," Ed told him.

"The cold don't change the rules, does it?" Shane asked. "Keep our fires low, just embers so we can't be seen from a distance, right?"

"I said it's cold," Ed told him, "You should mind your own business for once."

Shane stood up, walking toward the Peletier family, standing in front of Ed, "Hey, Ed... are you sure you want to have this conversation, man?"

Ed looked at his wife, "Go on. Pull the damn thing out." Carol didn't move. "Go on!"

Carol stood up, walking around.

Shane shook his head, "Christ."

Carol pulled the log out of the fire, walking back to sit between Ed and Sophia.

Shane stomped the flames out, looking at Carol and Sophia, kneeling in front of them, "Hey, Carol, Sophia, how are y'all this evening?"

"Fine," Carol told him, "We're just fine."

"Okay," Shane told them.

"I'm sorry about the fire," Carol told him.

"No, no, no," Shane told her, "No apology needed. Y'all have a good night, okay?"

"Thank you," Carol told him.

Shane stood up, looking at Ed, "I appreciate the cooperation." He walked away, walking back toward the others, sitting back between T-Dog and Amy.

Dale cleared his throat, everyone having clearly been watching the situation as intensely as you had, "Have you all given any more thought to Daryl Dixon? He won't be happy to hear his brother was left behind."

"I'll tell him," T-Dog said, "I dropped the key. It's on me."

"I cuffed him," Rick said, "That makes it mine."

"Guys, it's not a competition," Glenn said, "I don't mean to bring race into this, but it might sound better coming from a white guy... maybe... someone like Audery?"

You frowned and looked at your closes friend, "What?"

Glenn shrugged, "I'm just saying... you are the safest person to tell him. Because he won't beat you up."

You shook your head, "Nah, nope. I'm not telling shit. Wasn't there, didn't see what happened exactly." Glenn nudged your shoulder with his while some of the group smiled with amusement. "Don't drag me into this."

"I did what I did." You looked at T-Dog, who looked down in slight shame. "Hell if I'm gonna hide from it."

"We could lie," Amy suggested.

"Or we tell the truth," Andrea said, "Merle was out of control. Something had to be done or he'd have gotten us killed." She looked at Lori, "Your husband did what was necessary. And if Merle got left behind, it is nobody's fault but Merle's."

"And that's what we tell Daryl?" Dale asked, "I don't see a rational discussion to be had from that, do you? Word to the wise--We're gonna have our hands full when he gets back from his hunt."

"I was scared, and I ran," T-Dog said softly, "I'm not ashamed of it."

"We were all scared," Andrea told him, "We all ran. What's your point?"

"I stopped long enough to chain that door," T-Dog said, "Staircase is narrow. Maybe half a dozen geeks can squeeze against it at any one time. It's not enough to break through that--Not that chain, not that padlock. My point--Dixon's alive and he's still up there, handcuffed on that roof. That's on us."

The camp went silent, everyone reflecting on the conversation. Nobody really wanted to tell Daryl anything; You knew Daryl was a hot headed like Merle, but he wasn't nearly as bad as his big brother.

You wouldn't lie, ever since you've met the Dixon brothers, you thought the youngest Dixon was quite attractive. You were shy at first to approach him--not to mention you pulled your father's gun to his face when you first met him when he and Merle stepped into your and your father's hiding place--but as time went on, he got used to you been around him.

You knew you developed a crush on him, but you kept it to yourself. Or well used to, until you and Amy had a heart-to-heart talk, and she found out you had a crush on him, she teased you a couple of times when it was just the two of you, but she definitely kept it a secret.

You sighed softly and looked down at Max who was lying on your feet. You would have to be the one to talk to Daryl about Merle.

Slowly everyone started to turn in, heading to their tents. You picked Max into your arms and walked to your tent. You walked inside and placed Max on the tent's floor. He walked to his small bed, and you put your boots outside before zipping your tent up.

You petted Max before stepping to your bed and lying down.

Tomorrow will be hard; you just knew it.

****

You woke up to a lick on your hand and opened your eyes slowly to see Max was awake and he whimpered. You groaned softly and slowly got out of the bed. Max jumped to the entrance of the tent, and you unzipped it.

He jumped out and ran off, wiggling his tail and you rubbed the sleep from your eyes and brushed your fingers through your hair. You put your boots on and stepped out completely.

You looked around at the camp and spotted only a few people around while the others still sleeping, which meant it was pretty early in the morning. "Morning, Audrey!" You looked up at top of the RV to see Jim.

You smiled as you stepped up to the RV. "Morning, Jim."

"Slept well?"

You shrugged, "Guess so. And so did Max, since he hasn't woken me up in the middle of the night." Jim smiled as he let out a chuckle. "Did you sleep?"

"Yeah, don't worry, just took the shift from Shane," Jim said and frowned, "Dale said he was up all night." You frowned at that; Shane was supposed to be on shift night but during the night Dale was supposed to take over.

"Huh," you said softly and glanced around before spotting Max running toward you, with his tongue out. You kneeled down and petted your puppy with affection. "Who's a good boy?"

"Son of a bitch!"

You looked to the direction the shouting came from and saw Ed throwing his shoe on the ground. You looked down at Max who just tilted his head up at you. You glanced slowly to Ed's direction... which was where Max was before running to you.

"Oh, you really are a good boy," you praised your dog quietly and rubbed him on the head. "Yes, you are." Max gave a small bark and fell on his back, and you giggled as you rubbed his belly. "Yes, you are!"

"Hey!" You looked over to Ed as he stormed toward you, and you froze.

Carol ran after him worried, "Ed--"

"Shut it," he said as he glared over at her and then turned back to you as you stood up with Max in your arms. He pointed in your face, and you took a step back while he glared at you, "Your stupid dog ruined my shoe!"

"Is there a problem, Ed?" you looked over your shoulder at Shane as he approached to your side.

"That little bitch's dog peed in my shoe," Ed hissed.

Shane's eyes darkened and his jaw clenched before he spoke in a calm tone which sounded scary, "First of all, don't call her that. Second, your shoe must have fell on the side, should watch how to put your shoes outside the tent." He stepped forward and faced Ed closer, "Now, anything else?"

Ed didn't answer and just glared between the two of you for another second before turning and storming back toward his tent. Shane and you watched him and Carol before you looked at Shane as he stepped around and stood in front of you.

"You okay?" he asked, and you nodded. He nodded and looked at Max for a moment before he smirked lightly and petted his head, speaking softly, "Good boy."

You let out a chuckle as he praised him for the nasty trick, and Max barked, wiggling his tail happily.

****

Everyone were now up and around. The kids had asked you if it was all right to take Max and play with him near the camp, which you happily agreed for them to do so. But your happy mood changed when Dale had told you the men would have to take parts out from the sports car you stole yesterday. 

You stood on the side with your arms crossed over your chest, watching in complete sadness as Dale, Jim and Morales worked on the car. "It's not fair," you said, while the three amused men ignored your complains, "Taking my new car apart is just cruelty."

You felt someone next to you and you glanced over to see Rick, who was staring at the men and the car. "Look at 'em," you said as you looked at them, "They took my dream car."

You heard Rick letting out a soft chuckle. Dale stepped closer with part of the car, which made you sad even more. "Generators need every drop of fuel they can get," he said, "Got no power without it. I'm sorry, sweetheart."

He rubbed your arm and walked away. You looked over at Rick, "Thought I'd get to drive it at least a few more days."

Rick petted your back with a nod, "Maybe we'll get to steal another one someday."

"Hope so," you muttered and glanced back at him as he walked toward Lori. You looked back at your ruined car in disappointment before letting a soft sigh.

You heard a honk and looked behind the car at Shane's jeep driving closer. Shane parked and leaned up, "Water's here, y'all. Just a reminder to boil before use." You watched the men approaching the jeep to help carry the water tanks.

You walked up to Shane who noticed your expression, "Oh no, what happened while I was away?" he asked with a frown.

"Stolen car has been torn apart," you answered.

"Oh boy, that's sucks," he said as he leaned to the passenger side and grabbed his rifle. "Look like one hell of a car. Don't worry, you get another one day."

"Can you go this time to the city and get me another one?" you asked with a small smirk.

He laughed, "Just because I care about you, that does not mean I'll go to the city just to get you the same looking car you stole." 

You pouted jokingly, "You mean." Your friendly conversation was cut off by screaming in the distance, and you tensed up and turned to where the screams came from.

"Mom!"

You watched as half the campers ran toward the direction the screaming came from. You followed them and immediately spotted Carl embracing his mother with Max in his arms. "What happened?" she asked, "Are you okay?!"

"Yeah," Carl answered as you watched the men running to where Jacqui was pointing.

You followed the men to the path and paused when you saw a walker kneeling down and eating an already dead deer. You leaned forward and saw the animal had a few arrows stuck in him.

You heard footsteps behind you and glanced over to see Andrea and Amy stopping near you. You turned back your attention to the men, the walker stopped and turned to them. He slowly got up and then Rick hit him with the pole, and he fell to the ground.

You watched the men beating the walker until Dale finished the walker off by chopping his head off with an axe. There was a moment of silent after that until Dale spoke, "It's the first one we've had up here. They never come this far up the mountain."

You heard small growling and looked down to see Max had left Carl's side and now was standing next to you and the sisters. His tail wiggled and he was staring at the dead walker.

You picked Max up and held him in your arms before turning your attention back to the men. "They're running out of food in the city, that's what," Jim said.

You heard branch snapping from behind him and you all looked tensed up. Andrea pulled you and Amy near her sides as you watched the men holding their weapons up.

Then after a moment of only hearing the footsteps approaching, you were relief to see it was only Daryl stepping into view. He paused and stared at the men, and they lowered their weapons down when they realized it was only Daryl.

"Oh, Jesus."

Max gave one bark in your arms when he saw Daryl, his tail wiggling.

"Son of a bitch," Daryl snapped as he looked at the deer. "That's my deer!" He walked closer. "Look at it. All gnawed on by this--" He kicked the Walker. "Filthy, disease-bearing, motherless poxy bastard."

"Calm down, son," Dale told him, "That's not helping."

Daryl walked around the Walker, standing in front of Dale, and you took a few steps forward toward them. "What do you know about it, old man?" he snapped, "Why don't you take that stupid hat and go back to 'On Golden Pond'?" He walked back to the deer, taking out the arrows. "I've been tracking this deer for miles. Gonna drag it back to camp, cook us up some venison. What do you think? Do you think we can cut around this chewed up part right here?"

As much as venison sounded good, you had to disagree because of the walker, "I would not risk that," you spoke up and glanced around at the men to see Shane nodding in agreement, before at Daryl.

Daryl looked back at you and then at the deer with a sigh, "That's a damn shame. I got some squirrel--about a dozen or so. That'll have to do."

The head of the Walker started to move his teeth. "Oh, God," Amy said behind you and you glanced back to see the sisters leaving.

"Come on, people," Daryl said and you turned back. "What the hell?" He shot the Walker's head with his crossbow. The arrow hit him in the eye, killing the walker. Daryl pulled the arrow out. "It's gotta be the brain. Don't y'all know nothing?"

Daryl walked past Shane and Rick. He petted Max on the head as he walked past you. You turned to the men and saw Rick watching Daryl leaving. "Yeah..." you trailed off and he looked at you, "That's Daryl."

You turned and took a step to leave but then Glenn spoke, "So... Audrey, you will... right?" You turned and gave Glenn a look as you raised your eyebrow. You didn't say anything and just turned and walked after Daryl to the camp.

"Merle! Merle! Get your ugly ass out here! I got us some squirrel! Let's stew 'em up."

You gently placed Max on the ground, and he ran up to the RV to where Lori was. You cleared your throat, "Hey Daryl?" Daryl stopped and turned to you as you walked close to him. "I, uh, I need to talk to you."

"'Bout what?" Daryl asked.

"About Merle," you answered, "There was a--there was a problem in Atlanta."

Daryl looked around, then he looked at you, "He dead?"

"No, I mean, we don't think so--" you started as Shane stepped to your side.

"We're not sure."

"He either is or he ain't!" Daryl yelled at him.

Rick walked closer, "No easy way to say this, so I'll just say it."

"Who are you?"

"Rick Grimes."

"Rick Grimes," Daryl huffed, "You got something you want to tell me?"

"Your brother was a danger to us all, so I handcuffed him on a roof, hooked him to a piece of metal. He's still there."

"Hold on, let me process this," Daryl said as he stepped back, facing away from everyone as he wiped his eyes. It took a moment before he turned back to Rick, "You're saying you handcuffed my brother to a roof, and you left him there?"

"Yeah."

Without missing a beat, Daryl flung the rope of squirrels at Rick before rushing to tackle him. Shane jumped into action, body slamming him to the ground as you stepped back. Daryl then pulled out a knife, swinging it back and forth at the two men. "Daryl, stop!" you called.

Rick was able to sneak in a gut punch, allowing for Shane to get Daryl into a choke hold. "You'd best let me go!" Daryl yelled, thrashing his body.

Shane shook his head, "I think it's better if I don't."

"Choke hold's illegal," Daryl snapped. 

"You can file a complaint," Shane said as Daryl continuing to thrash in his arms, "Come on, man. We can do this all day."

Rick knelt in front of Daryl, looking him in the eyes, "I'd like to have a calm discussion on this topic. Do you think we can manage that?"

Daryl thought for a moment, before choking out a quiet 'Yeah'. Shane looked at Rick for reassurance before letting the man go.

"What I did was not on a whim," Rick told him, "Your brother does not work and play well with others."

"It's not Rick's fault," T-Dog told him, "I had the key. I dropped it."

"You couldn't pick it up?" Daryl asked. 

"I dropped it in a drain."

Rick stood up as Daryl looked down at the ground, breathing heavily, standing up, looking at T-Dog, "If it's supposed to make me feel better, it don't."

"Well, maybe this will," T-Dog told him, "Look, I chained the door to the roof--So the geeks couldn't get at him--with a padlock."

Rick looked at Daryl, "It's gotta count for something."

Daryl looked away, shaking his head, "Hell with all y'all!" He looked at Rick. "Just tell me where he is so that I can go get him."

"He'll show you," Lori told him, and everyone looked at her, "Isn't that right?"

Rick looked around, nodding, "I'm going back." Lori shook her head slightly and she turned and walked into the RV. You looked at Rick and watched him walking to the tents and Shane followed him clearly pissed off with the idea.

You stepped to your ruined car and leaned against the side of it as you crossed your arms across your chest. Daryl glanced to your way before quickly he sat down on one of the rocks and started to clean his arrows.

There was a couple of minutes of silent, full of tension in the air until you saw Rick and Shane walking back to the main camp, with Rick in his uniform.

"Well, look, I--I don't, okay, Rick?" Shane asked, "So could you just--Could you throw me a bone here, man? Could you just tell me why? Why would you risk your life for a douche bag like Merle Dixon?"

"Hey, choose your words more carefully," Daryl snapped at him.

"No, I did," Shane told him. "Douche bag's what I meant." He looked at Rick. "Merle Dixon--The guy wouldn't give you a glass of water if you were dying of thirst."

"What he would or wouldn't do doesn't interest me," Rick told him, "I can't let a man die of thirst--me. Thirst and exposure. We left him like an animal caught in a trap. That's no way for anything to die, let alone a human being."

Lori was sitting on logs with Carl and Max, "So you and Daryl, that's your big plan?"

Rick turned around, before his eyes landed on you. Oh no, he was staring at me you thought. You pointed at yourself, "Me?"

"You know the way," Rick pleaded as he stepped closer to you, "You've been there before. In and out, no problem. You said so yourself. It's not fair of me to ask, I know that, but I'd feel a lot better with you there. I know she would too." His eyes landed on Lori, and you looked over at her for a moment. You sighed and nodded lightly.

"That's just great," Shane told him sarcastically. "Now you're gonna risk three people, huh?"

"Four," T-Dog said.

"My day just gets better and better, don't it?" Daryl huffed.

"You see anybody else here stepping up to save your brother's cracker ass?" T-Dog asked.

"Why you?"

"You wouldn't even begin to understand. You don't speak my language."

Dale let out a heavy sigh, "That's four then."

"It's not just four," Shane said, looking at Rick, "You're putting every single one of us at risk. Just know that, Rick. Come on, you saw that Walker. It was here. It was in camp. They're moving out of the cities. They come back, we need every able body we've got. We need 'em here. We need 'em to protect camp."

"Sounds to me like what you really need are more guns," Rick said.

"What guns?" Shane asked.

"Six shotguns, two high-powered rifles, over a dozen handguns," Rick explained, "I cleaned out the cage back at the station before I left. I dropped the bag in Atlanta when I got swarmed. It's just sitting there on the street, waiting to be picked up."

"Ammo?" Shane asked. 

"700 rounds, assorted," Rick answered. 

"You went through hell to find us," Lori told him, "You just got here and you're gonna turn around and leave?"

Carl stepped forward, looking up at Rick, "Dad, I don't want you to go."

"To hell with the guns," Lori told him. "Shane is right. Merle Dixon? He's not worth one of your lives, even with guns thrown in." Rick walked closer to them. Lori stood up. "Tell me. Make me understand."

"I owe a debt to a man I met and his little boy," Rick told her, "Lori, if they hadn't taken me in, I'd have died. It's because of them that I made it back to you at all. They said they'd follow me to Atlanta. They'll walk into the same trap I did if I don't warn him."

"What's stopping you?" Lori asked.

"The walkie-talkie, the one in the bag I dropped," Rick answered. "He's got the other one. Our plan was to connect when they got closer."

"These are our walkies?" Shane asked. 

"Yeah," Rick answered. 

"So use the CB," Andrea told him. "What's wrong with that?"

"The CB's fine," Shane said, "It's the walkies that suck to crap--Date back to the '70s, don't match any other bandwidth--Not even the scanners in our cars."

Rick looked at Lori, "I need that bag. Okay?"

Lori looked away, "All right."

As the men began loading the van for the trip, you approached Lori who stared longingly at her husband. "Hey, I'll watch over him, don't worry," you assured.

Lori looked at you and smiled a small smile, nodding. She wrapped her arms around you, bringing you into a hug. You hugged her back as she spoke quietly, "I didn't get the chance to thank you for saving him."

"What, he told you?" you asked, and you both pulled out from the embrace.

"Yes."

"You're welcome," you said, "I got his back, don't worry."

Lori nodded and then said, "Be careful out there."

"Always am."

Daryl beeped on the horn of the van with his feet, "Come on, let's go!"

Carl ran closer and you hugged him gently, "Alright, bud, remember what happens when I'm out?"

"Keep Max close," he said as he pulled away.

You smirked and nodded, "See you soon."

He waved to you goodbye as you headed to the van. You got into the passenger seat and closed the door. Rick got into the driver seat and closed his door. After a moment of waiting, you glanced over and saw Daryl sliding the back door close and sat in front of T-Dog.

"All right let's get going," you muttered, and Rick started the van and drove off.

****

"He'd better be okay." You glanced up from the map and over your shoulder to Daryl when he spoke, you saw him looking at T-Dog, "It's my only word on the matter."

"I told you the geeks can't get at him," T-Dog told him, "The only thing that's gonna get through that door is us."

You turned back your attention to the road and when you saw you reached just outside the city and on the railroad tracks, you looked at Rick, "Stop here."

Rick did as you said and slowly stopped and parked the van. "We walk from here," you said as you glanced at the men before opening the door and getting out. They followed your move and you glanced at T-Dog and saw him holding his side for a brief second before letting his arm fall. "You okay?" you asked.

"Yeah," he answered as you all ran to the gates, and walked through the cut fence of the highway.

Rick looked at you, "Merle first or guns?"

"Merle," Daryl snapped, "We ain't even having this conversation."

"We are," Rick warned him and then turned his attention back to you, "You know the geography. It's your call."

"Merle's closest," you answered, "The guns would mean doubling back." You glanced at Daryl, "Merle first."

Daryl gave a small nod to you, and you all ran all the way to the building of the clothing store, and you all paused. There were no longer herd of walkers around the area but that didn't mean there was no walkers inside. Rick walked in first, and looked around before nodding for all of you to follow in.

Rick stopped you all suddenly, seeing a Walker inside, looking at Daryl, signaling him. Daryl walked past you, walking toward the Walker, holding his crossbow, "Damn. You are one ugly skank."

The Walker noticed him, taking a step closer but then Daryl shot an arrow to the Walker's head, killing it, walking toward it. He pulled the arrow out, cleaning it from blood with his pants. "Let's go," he said, and you all ran to the stairs that lead to the roof.

At the top of the stairs, T-Dog cut the chain to the door. Daryl pushed past him, throwing the door open and running onto the roof.

"Merle! Merle!" Daryl called out, looking around.

You followed the men who came to an abrupt stop.

"Oh, my God," you whispered, covering your mouth with your hand.

Daryl rushed over, "No!" You looked at him, and he began pacing back and forth, tears welling in his eyes as he continued to scream out.

Everyone remained silent, not knowing exactly what to say; if there was anything to say.

Your eyes lingered on the ground, Merle's severed hand sitting next to a hacksaw. Semi-dried blood was pooled around it, droplets leading away from the scene. Yet, there was no sign of Merle at all.

That crazy son of a bitch.

[butterflydm]

wot reread: a memory of light (ch 7-10)

spoilers through the final book, a memory of light

While they were inside having the meeting, Rand's presence in Merrilor has caused trees to sprout and grow outside the pavilion. Perrin says they're the same kinds of trees that he's seen inside an Ogier stedding. The trees are already hundreds of feet tall. I like all of this One with the Land stuff for Rand. It's enjoyable.

2. Elayne doesn't let herself get too distracted, instead calling for maps so that she can start figuring out the logistics of the army. Bryne being cold to Elayne because he holds the actions of her mom against her: damn, Siuan, you really settled when you went for him (he does mellow later and make it clear that he respects her as a leader but that his loyalties are now with the White Tower, so I will give him partial credit). Elayne does take charge here, even when Amys tries to say that the Aiel can handle their own parts of the battle and she doesn't budge when Aviendha tries to press her either, which I really like.

Proud as I am of Elayne for being the wrangler for the entire war effort here (she spends hours here with the generals, clan chiefs... and Perrin, lol), I am not super interested in the details of battles, so I'm not going to be relaying troop movements or anything like that unless it's emotionally important to one of the characters.

3. Let's talk about the Five Great Captains thing for a hot minute: one of the frustrating things that Jordan did was create five continent-famous generals and... they're all men. And the one place where maybe we could find a female Great Captain (the Green Ajah), we're explicitly told: nah, she isn't. So I am definitely glad that Elayne was placed at the head of all the armies here because it's really a Dude Show apart from her (and some input from Amys & Aviendha as Wise Ones).

I kinda hope that the show just does away with the whole "the Five Great Captains" concept as a whole. Give us one or maybe two really good generals on the Westlands side (Bashere is the most important) and then let the Captain-General of the Green Ajah actually be one of the big military leaders, along with including representatives from the Aiel (Rhuarc, Amys, & Aviendha) -- instead of Bryne, let the head of the Green Ajah in Salidar be the one leading Egwene's army.

Because as awful as the Seanchan are, one thing that they do have over the Westlands is that women are just as likely to be important military leaders (like Perrin's slaver BFF Tylee) as men are -- though even there, we had the weird thing where, at least for some of the female soldiers, marriage disqualifies you from service (just like with the Maidens).

So clearly Jordan was aware that women are capable of having strong tactical minds. He just... decided not to do that with the Westlands. For whatever reason.

(oh, I just realized that Lord Agelmar, one of the great captains in the books, has already been killed off in the show! My wish is partially granted already; and we've also seen that the Greens are more willing to fight in the show as well, so the other half of my wish -- that the Green leader in Salidar lead Egwene's armies -- seems pretty plausible, and that would cut Bryne out of the story fairly neatly)

4. The Ogier arrive, which is also when Elayne finds out that they were on the verge of leaving the planet entirely. But Loial's speech worked and every Ogier who is able to fight has come to fight on the side of the Light. lol, forever at Perrin pretending that he did anything when it comes to this; he says that he went ~looking for the Ogier~ to try to see if they could help but then they were already here at Merrilor. You stepped outside a tent? That's your big accomplishment here, Perrin?

5. When Elayne goes to assign Perrin a task, he refuses, because he is a useless person, but Faile steps up to volunteer, because she is a useful person. Anyway, Faile is now in charge of the supply chain, because Perrin thinks he's too good to listen to the person that Rand put in charge of the battle. The excuse he gives is that Rand ~needs Perrin by his side~ so I will wait and see if Perrin actually does stick right next to Rand's side to protect him or if he wanders off on his own.

6. Speaking of people who won't do as they need to: we get a mention of Mat not being here (this time in context of shirking his duty as the Hornblower for the Horn of Valere) and Perrin says that Mat is in Ebou Dar "doing something with the Seanchan" (you know, the people who are still the enemy right now).

How could Perrin know that? He's never been to Ebou Dar. He wouldn't recognize it even if he saw that Mat was there in a color swirl vision. Also, it's only been "hours" since Perrin had the vision of Mat on a dusty road and it takes a bit longer (weeks longer) than "hours" to go from the Tower of Ghenjei (which is in Andor) to Ebou Dar (which is on the southern tip of Altara).

...but I will refrain going into detail on this until we get a Mat PoV chapter, in case there is an explanation on his travel logistics.

7. Also, wow, we really needed to get more from Elayne on what she thinks is happening here. Perrin does not mention here that Mat is married to the Empress of the Slavers Seanchan so... interesting for him to leave that out, since he knows and was so tickled pink by it in his conversation with Mat; and Elayne is only aware that Mat had kidnapped one of the High Blood during his escape from Ebou Dar and that he'd freed Aes Sedai who had been captured as damane. Per ToM, Elayne got the 'heroic' story from Thom while Perrin got the 'Mat married a slaver' story from Thom.

So Perrin and Elayne are actually approaching this conversation from incredibly different levels of knowledge but we don't really get any implication here that Perrin is intentionally hiding the truth about Mat's relationship with the Seanchan from Elayne (due to her being a channeler and Mat's slaver wife being someone who would happily torture and enslave her), he just... doesn't happen to mention the full extent of what Mat is doing. Also: Perrin doesn't mention here that if Elayne wants to know more about what Mat was doing last, she should talk to Moiraine, Thom, and Grady. Why not? Why are we acting like Mat's movements are a state secret that can only be found out via mystic color swirls? Mat cannot go from Point A to distant Point B instantaneously unless he has a strong channeler helping him, because Mat can't channel.

8. All we get from Elayne here is "the Seanchan are the enemy. Mat doesn't seem to understand that, considering what he's done," which could just literally be a reaction to Perrin telling her that Mat has quit the field to go hang out with slavers. Especially since Perrin's 'explanation' was so vague and cagey despite how he actually knows for a fact that Mat is married to the fascist leader of the slaver empire. It could be that he's worried that if Elayne is hesitant to trust Faile due to not really knowing her*, that Elayne definitely wouldn't be willing to trust Mat with the Horn, if she knew that Mat had run off to play house with the enemy (because they are under the impression that the Heroes fight for whoever they're called to, rather than fighting for 'the Dragon' specifically). But, again, we don't really get a hint of that in his thought process here. He just doesn't tell Elayne about Mat's true relationship with the Seanchan for... reasons, I guess.

Elayne even worries here that Mat's "put himself into trouble" with the Seanchan, which makes sense, since the story she got from Thom was focused on Mat being a sneaky freedom fighter who frees slaves! And Perrin offers zero clarification.

(* I am going to point out that Elayne knows Perrin and Faile roughly equally well? She doesn't actually have a developed friendship with Perrin. She saw him briefly in Falme, post-battle, probably, would have spent an equal amount of time with Perrin and Faile during Tear because they were basically joined at the hip, and then the next time she saw him was when he showed up in Caemlyn in ToM. It's Mat who Elayne has spent time with and knows, not Perrin. It's weird because it felt like Sanderson was aware of this in the Elayne & Perrin scenes back in ToM)

9. Yeah, I really do feel like having Caemlyn be one of the battlefronts of the Last Battle doesn't feel needed at all. I'm guessing it's supposed to be there to add ~personal stakes~ to the fight for all our Andor-born characters but... literally all of them are people who understand that all of existence is at stake. They didn't really need the fight to have additional personal stakes. The stakes are already there. All the Caemlyn battle did was make it so that the book doesn't have room in the pacing for the important character moments that we keep skipping. This scene with Lan at Tarwin's Gap is good, though.

10. Elayne talks to Talmanes about the tragedy of Caemlyn. Perrin and his troops have... apparently come with Elayne to Caemlyn? Even though Rand isn't here? Wow, that really does make it seem like Perrin used Min's viewing as an excuse to get out of work that he didn't want to do rather than it actually being the main concern in his mind. That was literally only last chapter and Perrin has already gone away from Rand's side, lol.

Elayne notes here that Talmanes is one of Mat's "most trusted" men and is slightly disappointed that Mat hasn't 'corrupted' him into swearing more. I will note again that Talmanes is the one person* who knows that this entire tragedy could have prevented if Mat had been willing to read a letter. Mat not being confronted with his failure here is another example of Mat vanishing from a storyline and leaving a gaping hole, which is something that Jordan (and now Sanderson) did with Mat but not really any other character. It really does feel like Mat should have been two separate characters by this point in the story (honestly leaning towards feeling that Harriet was wrong to suggest Jordan cut The Fourth Ta'veren Boy back in TEotW) because he just leaves these massive narrative holes all over the place that have to be hastily shored up with tertiary characters.

(* apart from Olver, who didn't really seem to fully understand the note; also, side note... where is Olver? I dimly recall that he isn't dead -- no thanks to Mat -- but no one has mentioned him)

The Boy Who Defects To The Seanchan and The Boy Who Saves Moiraine At The Tower Of Ghenjei really are incompatible character through-lines, including just needing to be in completely different physical locations at roughly the same time. If we still had Fourth Boy (who I am assuming would be Seanchan-Defector Boy), then I assume Seanchan-Defector Boy would have simply gone back to Ebou Dar with Fortuona.

11. Elayne notes that it has been 'one day' since Talmanes was pulled out of the city. The attack on Caemlyn began literally while Talmanes and Olver were still waiting for Mat to return from the Tower of Ghenjei, something that Mat was explicitly planning on doing at the end of ToM.

I'm trying to wait until Mat's PoV chapter to truly judge this storyline but, wow, the logistics are a mess and make zero sense in terms of the timeline and geography involved. Mat is not a channeler. The channeler who was helping Mat with the Tower of Ghenjei is at Merrilor.

Mat has no viable path to Ebou Dar that doesn't go through Merrilor, not if he wants to get there sooner than a month or two months from when he and the others exited the Tower of Ghenjei. Moiraine went into the 'finn doorway before Egwene rediscovered Traveling for female channelers, so Moiraine would not know the Traveling weave (though I'm sure she's learned it by now -- probably the first thing she did after the meeting with Rand!).

I'm... extremely curious to see how Mat's first PoV chapter makes sense of the logistics of his storyline. Because as it stands right now, it looks like Sanderson & Team Jordan simply dropped the ball when it came to Mat's timeline in comparison with everyone else's, because this makes no logical sense.

12. It's so weird for Elayne to casually be thinking about how "Tam" has come along with Perrin with absolutely zero internal acknowledgement that he's the grandfather of the kids that she's currently carrying. I'm... pretty sure she knows that he's Rand's dad, right? Otherwise, why would she even mark out this specific captain of Perrin's as special? Also, Bashere has told Elayne that Rand gave him ~special instructions~ to watch over her. The contradictions of whether or not Elayne is being treated as Rand's love interest (who is pregnant with his kids!) continues to be super-weird.

Bashere suggests that Elayne make it public that her kids are also Rand's, and she tells him a. it's none of his business and b. that sort of thing would make her kids targets. Also, you know, if she does decide to do that, maybe she should... tell Tam first? Separately? Because he's their grandfather?

But, nope, Elayne decides to just make a general announcement, against her better judgement. I will note again that Tam is part of this wing of the army, so he would find out here that his son, who gave him a ~special introduction~ to Min back in ToM, also got the Queen of Andor pregnant. How is it possible that Tam doesn't have some questions about that?

13. The Last Battle is actively occurring on four different fronts, and Mat Cauthon is a deserter. It's hard to avoid that thought, as we move from battlefield to battlefield and Mat continues to be inexplicably not present. In Tarwin's Gap, Lan's forces have to retreat from the full crush of the Shadow's forces.

14. We learn from Egwene's thoughts that she and Gawyn got married in a private ceremony. Once again, I say, stop having important emotional moments happen off-screen!

How is the Morgase & Tallanvor's wedding ceremony more relevant to spend page time on than Egwene & Gawyn's wedding? Baffling priorities!

I feel like that's the main issue at hand with A Memory of Light: it does not feel like the narrative priorities are in the right place. We keep skipping important emotional moments so that we can have battle scenes instead. We've spent way too much time on tertiary characters in a subplot that is completely detached from the main plotlines (the Black Tower plotline).

I have absolutely no idea what rumors or gossip is currently out there about Rand's various relationships (especially after Elayne has now had it announced that she's pregnant with his kids -- Rand parading around with Min while Elayne is several months pregnant seems like it could hurt morale as much as it boosts it, because now Rand looks like a philandering douchebag, which is maybe not super-reassuring to the rank-and-file, who already viewed Min as Rand's "pet", per Min's PoV in TGS. we saw what kind of impact the Berelain situation had with Perrin back during the Slog; it made his men look at him with less trust and respect. not ideal!).

And we keep getting reminded that Mat isn't here, but it also makes no logical sense for him not to be here, given the set-up we were left with in the last book.

15. Elayne has suggested setting up a hospital for the wounded soldiers, run by Yellow Ajah Sisters. Of course she has! <3 <3 <3 <3 Egwene agrees that it's a good idea and suggests that they set it up in Mayene, far away from the various battlefields.

16. It's finally time for Egwene to talk to Leilwin née Egeanin, who Nynaeve has deemed 'marginally trustworthy', lol. Leilwin née Egeanin swears herself to Egwene's service but then admits that she doesn't have the kind of inside knowledge that Egwene is asking for. Even so, Egwene tells Leilwin née Egeanin to tell her what she can of the Seanchan & the Empress's plans. I, uh. Hope that someone is taking notes. For. Reasons. For the future.

17. Are Rand and Elayne finally going to interact in private? Rand snuck into Elayne's tent and is checking out her maps. It's so weird that he feels like he needs to sneak around to see her when she's literally throwing out public 'I love you's (and now announcing that he's the father of her future kids), what on earth is the public status of Rand's relationships?

(if Rand is here 'in secret', does that mean that Perrin still gets points for 'staying near him'? The color swirls aren't a radar detection technique that tells him where Rand is at all times, so I'm going to say 'no')

18. I genuinely loved this reunion but the timing makes no sense -- either they should be cutely sneaking around at the very beginning of the book (before the big meeting) or they both should have been firm on doing the spy games and pretending that they don't have a relationship and then it would make sense that it took this long before they could arrange to be in the same place. The half-and-half thing that the books actually went with it... kinda just weird.

19. But I will choose not to focus on that at this time and will instead focus on what we actually got out of the reunion: he's impressed by Elayne's battle planning (🥰🥰🥰); "golden hair with a hint of honey and rose" (🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 he is GONE for her 🥰🥰🥰🥰); here is life (🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰) ; he thinks everything about her is beautiful and amazing and wonderful (🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰). I love that he is capable of being absolutely gone over her in his head but also had zero issue treating her like fellow a capable ruler that he respects. They have the range. Ugh, we were cheated out of so much Rand & Elayne time in the books!

20. Elayne and Rand both mourn that they've never had time to figure out where their relationship fit into the whole 'the world is ending' scenario. Hey. Hey, there would have been a quick fix for that: Rand not immediately bouncing after their day & night together in Winter's Heart and actually staying in contact with Elayne & Aviendha after the bonding!

And even if his head was too screwed up to do that until after the epiphany, Rand had all of Towers of Midnight to visit Elayne BEFORE it was literally 'the middle of the Last Battle'; he knew exactly where to find her. But, in addition to letting him find out about the pregnancy, Rand visiting Elayne in Towers of Midnight would have also meant a Cauthor reunion in Towers of Midnight, and that would have made it even more ridiculous that Mat spontaneously deserted on the eve of the Last Battle, I guess. I mean, it's still ridiculous, because Mat was planning to return to Caemlyn at the end of ToM, but I repeat myself, lol.

(yes, yes, I promised I would hold off on complaining about the Mat plotline until we actually got there. I'm trying! lol)

AU idea: Rand goes to Caemlyn after his epiphany; runs into Mat and I guess maybe Perrin too, lol.

21. Okay, if she didn't know before that Tam is Rand's dad, she definitely knows now because he just said "Tam will be a grandfather" (which Tam also knows, because Elayne literally announced it to her army). So if Tam and Elayne interact in the future, they do so with Elayne knowing that's her boyfriend's dad and with Tam knowing that's the mother of his son's kids. So I would expect to actually see that reflected in how they interact.

Rand kneeling in front of Elayne so that he can touch her stomach is pretty cute. 🥰

So, Rand tells her here that he didn't know about her pregnancy "not until the night before the meeting." This would have been a perfect place for a justifiably puzzled Elayne to ask, "why didn't Min tell you? She told the entire Royal Palace," but then Min might actually be treated like a person who is capable of making mistakes* and not just as Rand's Sexy Accessory, so of course it doesn't come up.

(* the mistake in question being blabbing all over the palace about Elayne's personal secrets, which resulted in Elayne getting objectified by much of her household staff and being treated as nothing but a vessel for her pregnancy; Min getting so drunk that she forgot everything is just the Hand of the Author making sure that Rand isn't allowed to get any positive news during his downward spiral)

22. Rand feels "warmth" at the knowledge that he's going to be a dad but sorrow at the thought that he will probably die and leave them fatherless.

Awww, at this "last lesson" from Elayne on being a monarch. "It is all right to plan for the worst possibilities but you must not bask in them. You must not fixate on them. A queen must have hope before all else." As @markantonys and I have talked about, this really does feel like such a major part of why Jordan kept Elayne separated from Rand for so long -- because she could have given him useful advice on how to balance the concerns of being a ruler with what he needed to do to keep himself emotionally centered as a person.

What we've seen Rand get from both Elayne here and from Aviendha earlier on in the books, it's advice and reassurance that Jordan felt he needed to withhold from Rand in order for him to spiral down to rock-bottom. Rand wasn't allowed to have hope, so that's why Jordan made sure he couldn't spend too much time with Elayne. We saw in his private scenes with Min that she brushed off moments like this or tried to distract Rand with sex rather than engaging with him as a person (or sometimes she would threaten him with a knife).

23. Our two workaholics talk shop during their romantic dinner together. Of course they do. Elayne talks shop when she's taking a bath, lol.

Aaaah, I really do love Rand's thoughts here about how his love for Elayne was forged because of the things that they have in common and the burdens that they share. He feels like she can really understand the part of him that has been crushing him the most (maybe the second-most, after the prophecies of the dragon). Respect, understanding, attraction, and affection.

24. Elayne asks him about what happened "that day atop Dragonmount" and Rand thinks that he's not talked about that specific moment with anyone yet. He tells her that he realized how important it was that he care in order to fight this battle, and that means that he now truly feels the pain of all the deaths that are happening due to the Last Battle again, whereas before he could block it out.

Elayne intuits that he has Lews Therin's memories and when he confirms that he does, she's thrilled and tells him what an advantage that it gives them, and Rand is just blown away by her reaction.

🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

I do like Rand and Aviendha and I find a lot of their culture clash elements charming and enjoyable, but Elayne and Rand Just Get Each Other on a fundamental level (and they always have! Elayne often had thoughts about how Rand would likely react a certain way to something and she's usually correct!). If they'd actually been allowed to spend more time together... *regretful sigh*

And even with how much they have in common, Elayne's passion about doing her part in his fight still pleasantly surprises him and he compares talking with her to watching fireworks -- always beautiful but the form that the beauty will take can still surprise him. I love them, your honor.

25. Rand literally uses his ta'veren One With The Land Dragon Reborn powers for fix Elayne's tea so that it isn't spoiled any more. I will die from the cute. I will die. Such a lovely and sweet quality of life thing for him to do for her!

And then he gives her a personalized gift that shows how well he knows her and respects her both as a person and with her specific Aes Sedai Talents: a Seed to help create angreal. And she gives him the ter'angreal knife that will protect him from the view of the Shadow, to help him during his fight, the one that Aviendha gave her (so in some ways, it is a gift from both of them to Rand -- one way that the show could, imo, improve on this scene is by letting Aviendha, Rand, and Elayne's reunion all happen together the same night rather than Aviendha's right before the Last Battle and Elayne's while the battle is already underway; then they could give him the knife as a joint gift).

26. "They stayed together long into the night. " Oh, I bet they did. *wiggles eyebrows*

🥰🥰🥰🥰

27. Hmm, we get the info on how many medallion copies currently exist:

There's Mat's medallion

There's a medallion copy that Mat currently has that he was planning on giving to a slaver

There's a medallion copy that Birgitte currently wears

And one copy was stolen by the Darkfriend queen's guard dude

So one original medallion and three copies, at this point in time. And Elayne has said that she can't make any more copies without the original, I think.

28. Birgitte has also continued to get ever more bitter and controlling, which I have speculated was a deliberate change of characterization to show how her memory loss is affecting her but the issue is that some readers of the book will take any bitter rant against a character they dislike as the gospel truth, rather than treating it as a biased PoV. And that can be very frustrating.

Just... man, remember when Birgitte was a fun character to be around? I miss when Birgitte was fun.

29. On her way back to the battle-planning tent, Elayne runs into Uno here, and he tries to watch his language and she ~generously~ tells him that he doesn't need to. Haha, she should just tell him that she likes to listen to swearing; he would probably find it a relief.

30. Lan's front continues to need to retreat from the battlefield and it makes him feel like he's abandoning the idea of Malkier all over again. Aww, Lan.

Oh, also, the 'dreadlords' of the Shadow have shown up (the Black Ajah and various Turned channelers and Darkfriend Asha'man, I assume. No mention of the Aiel in red veils yet).

31. ...we just casually mentioned that Elayne is relaying some news to "Talmanes, the Aiel, and Tam al'Thor." You can probably guess what I'm going to say.

Stop! Having Important Emotional Moments! Happen Off-Screen!

Elayne and Rand have reconnected. That is Rand's father, who presumably knows by now that Elayne, Queen of Andor, is pregnant with his grandkid(s). How is it possible that we completely skipped over any kind of conversation between them at all? We got a whole, like, page-long scene about Bashere pressuring Elayne into publicly announcing her pregnancy, but this scene we skip? Priorities!

32. Also, I just want to note that Perrin is off "engaging the Trollocs" and not, in fact, hanging around Rand in case he's needed to save his life. I really do think that Perrin was just using Min's viewing to get out of a job that he didn't want to do.

33. It is genuinely so bizarre that Elayne is hanging out with the Two Rivers archers, led by Tam al'Thor, and absolutely no one in the scene acknowledges that she's pregnant with Rand's kids. Everyone is just strictly all business.

...did Elayne have a sword before? I don't remember her having a sword before.

34. Feels weird that Mat isn't the one who sees the dragons finally being used in action for the first time. Again, it feels like Mat is missing out on all the conclusions to his various character arcs -- this one being about the industrialization of war. Mat has been tied to this from very nearly the beginning (TDR when he used fireworks to blow a hole in the Stone of Tear), even before he got his 'finn memories, and yet he's not allowed to finish out this character arc either. Of seeing this moment and realizing how much the battlefield has changed. Sure, he can see it again later on, but the impact of the first time that the readers saw this weapon of war in action, and the destruction that it leaves behind... this is part of Mat's story. That's the third story element where it feels like Mat has been abruptly cut out of completing part of his character journey:

irrationally mistrusting Aes Sedai leading to the attack on Caemlyn -> Mat doesn't see the results of his mistrust and doesn't actually learn the lesson

accepting Rand as the Dragon and as a friend at the same time -> doesn't actually talk with post-Dragonmount Rand about it, to bring their story full-circle

bringing new (non-Powered) war to the world -> is not one of the first people to see the destruction & cause it, not there to realize how much this changes the future of war (Birgitte gets to do it instead)

Theoretically, that could all be on purpose, in order to deliberately leave the feeling that Mat's story is the most unfinished at the end, but the way that he's been vanished from the Westlands stories just doesn't add up on a practical level, either logistically or narratively. Doesn't make sense.

I'm about a third of the way through, so here are my feelings about the book so far in my reread:

There are some fantastic individual scenes:

The Avilayne reunion: adorable

The Avirand reunion: funny and sweet and cute

The Randlayne reunion: peak romance; I died several times

Rand setting up the pavilion at Merrilor: amazing

But the overall priorities of this book feel like they are in the wrong place. The center does not hold. Those great individual moments are in a framework that is rushing past and ignoring many other potentially great character moments. And I get why the book feels rushed -- it is rushed. AMoL would have been, like, three or four books all on its own if Jordan had lived to write it. But I feel like Sanderson was choosing some of the wrong things to brush over and some of the wrong things to linger over.

Anyway, this is getting long enough, I think, so I will end this section of the reread here.

spoilers for the rest of the book below, past chapters that I've done in my reread

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Was the Elayne & Bashere scene meant to be a clue that Bashere had been Compelled?

Because Elayne is correct that there's no need to announce that her kids are also Rand's, and all it does it paint a new target on her back from Forsaken & Shadowspawn. Though from what I recall, there's absolutely zero story impact from this at all? Which kinda makes it even more unnecessary.

Arguments against this: Birgitte also seems all for it, for whatever reason?

I think that Bashere should have made the suggestion to make the announcement, Elayne should have rejected it, and then Bashere should have done it anyway. That would have been a very good clue that something was wrong with Bashere (though he could still justify it to himself by saying that he believes it will motivate the soldiers) without having Elayne cave to him for no real reason.

Elayne could even have found out that Bashere went behind her back because Tam came to her asking if it was true! We could have had an actual conversation between Elayne and Tam that led to them talking about the whole "Tam is gonna be a grandfather" thing.

[mytalemyworld]

Alaz: I will never be able to look at my mom's face again. Asi: If you had killed me, you wouldn't have had this trouble. Alaz: Actually the solution was to shoot myself in the head but- Asi: You got scared. You don't have that courage. Alaz: I wasn't scared of dying. I got scared because I thought I would lose both of you. Asi: I still can't believe it. You really did get yourself locked up here. It's you that is a complicated question. From being a total selfish person- Alaz: To becoming a total hero. Asi: To becoming a total idiot. Because either heroes or idiots die. Alaz: Bingo, Rebel Girl. No problem with that. But you still have to put up with an idiot who will live for a while. I am sorry. At least until those guys shoot us in our heads.

I think he meant that even if he had chosen to kill himself he would have been dead knowing that they would be killed after him. And if there was a chance to save one of them at least, he would make that choice which he did. He has always been someone who lives on edges, maybe Yaman would have chosen to kill himself even that would mean the other ones would die as well but Alaz is different.

Then things got interesting. She was ALSO furious because he came to her. He was actually right by saying that he unintentionally became a hero. I am not talking about being a lawful hero here, I am talking about the fact that he came for her in the end which totally meant he might die with her there if he couldn't find a way to save her. And this drove her mad. Because she was worried about him too.

He totally was fine with that possible ending. He knew what would possibly happen to them, because Zafer the Creep wanted that little kid whom Alaz thought Rüya and the others would protect. So he wasn't an idiot. He came there to die with her if things didn't go well.

Asi: I need to get out of here to kill that guy. Alaz: If you have a bright idea, I am listening. Asi: Actually I have. We'll do what we're best. Alaz: What we do best..., yes but, really, here, under these conditions? Asi: What did you think of?

Lol. He was tired af and already talking in his usual cynical way then she said something complicated…He only could think of having sex.

I mean…we were not there when it happened, we can only trust his words I guess. However it happened only once so this guy must be thinking of that night very often.

Asi: (starts acting) You're talking nonsense. Why are you looking at my face? What are you talking about? Why are you staring? Alaz: Asi, are you okay? Asi: What the hell are you saying? Take him away from here!

Him realising what she meant (they're good at arguing and fighting as well, lol) and playing along...

Alaz: You are maniac, girl! You're crazy! Crazy! Asi: I'll blow your head off! Alaz: You will blow my head off? Asi: Yes! Alaz: I'll do it myself so both of us will be saved.

If Asi really shared her plan in a more detailed way, he would have never agreed that, I am sure. A lot of armed men vs. them…nope, he wouldn't have let her jeopardise herself or might have been more prepared.

Deep breath...after this scene the pain level is going to increase. Be ready!

[notmorbid]

hacks: season two.

dialogue prompts from the second season of hbo's hacks.

it feels racist in here, but i can't tell why.

i need you to take your phone and i need you to throw it into the ocean.

yo, are those ashes?

if you need to talk or whatever, i'm always here. except tuesdays and thursdays.

you've always been pretty entitled and annoying.

have you ever tried a regular meditation practice? apparently, it can really help.

i don't have 'emotional irregularity'.

i've never said this to anyone in my life, but i think you need to read less.

i don't need to see all the nasty things people have written about me.

i got the recipe from my favorite vegan beauty podcast.

you'd think at one point i'd stop caring.

this is the one place nobody judges you.

a dude did just call me 'socialist bitch' for walking out on the national anthem.

there is one thing that you could help me with.

___ is absolutely capable of killing me.

you're famous, right?

don't be a snob.

betrayal is the worst feeling in the world.

at least let me snap a pic of your aura real quick.

you're always trying to get me to be more honest.

you said you wouldn't hit people.

you're just like me. you're as selfish and cruel as i am.

once it's in your file, it's in your file.

i'm gonna be better. i'm gonna stop doing shit that makes me be impulsive.

haven't you ever been in litigation before? it'll be a good experience for you.

you never take my fashion advice.

you're talking in your sleep again.

i'm trying to be a good person, you dumb bitch.

get back to being 'good' tomorrow morning.

don't make me drink alone.

you're incredibly emotionally intelligent.

those compression socks are fierce.

you told me that? i must have blocked it out because it's so sad.

your assistant said you were at anger management.

excuse me? i am very self-sufficient.

i'm going to stay here and take one of those 'depression naps'.

i can only imagine what perverse road we're about to go down.

do you feel that society has programmed you to feel this way?

fuck it. i'm gonna start voting.

i do mean what i'm saying. i'm just saying it because i'm on molly.

good luck with your marriage. your wife's obsessed with me.

wow, you're hot and funny?

i was almost a victim of unprovoked physical violence. where have you been?

i called ___ 'mommy' earlier. i don't even call my mom that.

i think that was just a hill. now, you're climbing a mountain.

stop trying to cheer me up.

'one of'? how many stalkers do you have?

i'm kind of hard to describe. you kind of have to experience it.

no, it's cool. i love nosy people.

i was so lonely, i used to draw faces on our pillows and talk to them.

how'd you get that scar?

how could they do that to you?

i looked tired while i was sleeping?

i can't believe you won't just say you're sorry.

i was hoping you would just be proud of me for doing something.

i always thought you just didn't even try.

you will fuck up. it's impossible not to.

can we go out? i want to get fucked up.

i know what you're doing. you're pushing me away because you're afraid.

people want you right now. they won't forever.

you have to be a shark. you have to do what's best for you.

what do i have to even say?

i told you. you're just like me.

you've got your own mountain to climb.

i don't want to be here. i want to be wherever you are.

that's it? we're not gonna talk anymore? i won't see you?

sounds problematic to me. but what do i know?