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janicho88 · 1 year ago

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When It All Falls Apart - Chapter 13

Pairing- ex!Jensen x Padalecki Reader

Word count- 4,363

Warnings- Some language. Dealing with a breakup. Sad reader. Angst, If I missed something let me know!

A/N-Jensen finally realizes how bad he screwed up, but someone else is coming in for the reader's attention. A little off canon, SPN ended after 10 years. We still got all the characters in during that time though. Thank you to @writercole and @leigh70 for your help with this. You two are amazing!!

Summary-Y/N Padalecki loved acting on Supernatural. Working alongside your older brother and your boyfriend, but after ten seasons the guys have chosen to hang up the guns. Now the three of you are moving on to other projects, but that’s all that needs to change right? While you have moved to Austin to be closer to your family and boyfriend, Jensen is working elsewhere. Distance is only the start of your troubles.

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A ringing phone wakes you from a deep sleep Saturday morning, you fumble to answer it not bothering to see who it is.

“What?” you finally groan out when you hit the right button.

“Well good morning to you too, little sis,” Jeff greets you on the other end.

“It’s Saturday, I don’t have to work. I was sleeping, Jeffery.”

He just chuckles on the other end.

“What do you want brother dear?”

“Your niece and nephew have been asking about you. I wondered if you had any plans today, or if you would like to come over and hang out? I’ll even make you lunch before I send you home.”

When you don’t respond right away he continues. “Did you fall back to sleep on me?”

“I’m thinking. Yes, I’ll come over, but only because Tyler and Katie want me, and because you’re feeding me.”

“I thought that might get you. Bring your suit, I’ll see you in a little bit.”

“Alright, see ya.”

With a groan you push yourself out of bed to get yourself ready. You’re looking forward to seeing your niece and nephew, but your bed had been so comfortable. Forty minutes later you are stopping for a frappuccino and bagel before arriving at their house.

It’s maybe thirty seconds after you pull in the driveway, that the front door opens and two excited children run out to greet you, with their father watching from the porch.

“What, I don’t get you running out to greet me at my car too?” you tease Jeff, walking up to the house.

“Uh no. I don’t think you ever have, or ever will.”

“Fine, whatever. You don’t love me I get it,” you tease.

“You’re so dramatic.”

The two kids are telling you all about the plans they have for you today. The list is a long one and you aren’t sure one day is going to be enough to get it all done. Tyler wants to show you his newly rearranged room, so that is stop number one. You leave there with a handful of hot wheel cars he wants to play with. Of course Katie isn’t going to be left out and her room is next. She shows off a new doll she wants the two of you to play with also.

When you reach the living room Mary Jo is just coming in the front door from a store run. You go offer to help carry in the bags, but Jeff waves you away to go back to the kids. Sitting in the living room you take turns playing with the toys they each chose.

It doesn’t take too long for the both of them to become bored and want to move on to something else. Jeff suggests swimming, and everyone changes into their suits and head out back to the pool. Your brother gets in the water with the kids first and you follow. MJ sits on the steps watching. As you are playing with Katie in the shallow end, your sister-in-law questions you about working on Walker.

Tyler wants you to come swim with him, so you and Jeff switch places, and you play around with him in the water. When the kids tire out, their parents call them up on the deck to sit and try off while Jeff goes in to throw lunch together. Tyler is already trying to figure out what you can all do next before he is halfway through his lunch. He isn’t very happy when MJ tells him his food needs to settle before he can start running around playing tag like he was hoping.

You end up staying until after dinner and the kids wore both themselves and you out. Back in your apartment you curl up on the couch with a movie when your phone beeps, signaling a text. A smile crosses your face when you see the contact name you gave your new costar.

Toby C- Any plans tomorrow?

Me- Oh yeah, super busy! Sleep in, possibly watch a movie or if I get up the energy go workout. What’s up?

Toby C- I heard tonight there was some Summer night thing, it ends tomorrow. Wasn’t sure if you would be interested?

Me-Maybe…

Toby C- Am I supposed to persuade you somehow? If so I’m going to need some help with how to do that.

Me- Haha. What time? If you tell me before noon it’s an automatic no Mr. Allen.

Toby C- How’s 4?

Me- That could work. Do you want to meet there?”

Toby C- I’ll pick you up, send me your address.

Me- Done, See you tomorrow, have a good night.

Toby C- Night.

Turning the movie back on, you look up Summer Nights on your phone. Hot Summer Nights is something the city has apparently put on for five years now. There are 12 different venues which host different live acts each over four days. Pulling up the list of venues you aren’t familiar with any of them. There are a couple that interest you and some that might be a little much, but you’ll see what Keegan is thinking tomorrow.

The ringing phone wakes you from a sound sleep Sunday morning. With a frustrated groan you reach for the offending device from your night stand and manage to answer it without opening your eyes.

“This better be important,” you growl out to the person on the other line.

“Well good morning to you too,” comes with a chuckle from the other end.

“Seriously, Jared? Why are you calling me this early? It was Jeff yesterday, now you. If you two keep this up, I’m going to be an only child.”

“Okay, nine am isn’t that early. We have earlier call times through the week.”

“We do, that’s why I like sleeping later on the weekends.”

“Yeah, yeah, when you have kids that doesn’t happen. Do you want to come over this afternoon? Hang out and have dinner?”

“Thanks, but I already have plans.”

“Real plans, or eating popcorn on your couch plans?”

“Real plans, after I get more sleep. Thank you, but maybe another time.”

“With who?”

“Ugh, does it matter?”

“Just making sure you’re safe.”

“Keegan, happy? I’m going back to sleep now. Bye Jared.”

You hang up before he can say anything else, rolling over you try and go fall back to sleep but it doesn’t happen. Giving up an hour later you drag yourself from the bed and change into workout clothes to take some of your morning frustrations out on the spin bike in the workout room.

After showering, laundry and going over the script for this week’s scenes take up the rest of your day. Just before four there is a knock on your apartment door, opening it you welcome Keegan in.

“Hey, come on in.”

“Hi, thanks.” He takes a look around slightly shocked, “Um, nice place.”

“It’s small, I know. That’s the first thing everyone notices.” Picking up your purse you turn back to him. “Did you already have a venue in mind you want to check out?”

“I thought it was just music downtown? I thought the flier I saw said something about coming downtown to check out live bands, I guess I didn’t read too far into it.”

“I pulled it up last night after you texted. There are twelve different venues with live acts. Some smaller, some fairly big.”

Grabbing your phone off the table you pull the site back up to show him. He takes a minute to look through it before turning back to you.

“Have you been to any of these places before?”

“I haven’t, but I didn’t think the last one listed sounded bad. It’s supposed to be a smaller venue, they serve food, and are featuring different types of music. The other one.” You have to look over his shoulder at your phone to find the name. “That one, The Green Jay seemed similar to the first. The others all talk about multiple stages and big parties. I think those might be kinda packed.”

“You’re probably right about that. Okay, let’s check out, what’s the name of the first one?” He looks at the screen, “Valhalla.”

Taking out his own phone he types in the address to pull up directions. They two of you exit the apartment and after you lock up he follows you down the steps. Getting in the car, you hear his phone announce the bar is 8 minutes away. He pulls into a parking lot on the corner across the street from the bar. Looking up, you see The Green Jay is across the other street.

Keegan waits at the front of the car for you and the two of you make your way toward the first stop, to find that they don’t open until 6 pm.

“Oops, guess we should have checked that huh?” you say sheepishly, turning to him.

“Probably. Well, let’s try the other one.”

That one opens at 5pm, the two of you have forty minutes to kill. Looking around at your surroundings you see an open business across the street.

“We could go to the Chess Club.”

Keegan looks at you with raised brows, “I think I’ll see what our other choices are first.”

Turning the other way you see a number of people down the street. “Stubb’s Bar-B-Q, is down there. It’s another venue, maybe they’ll be open.”

They were, and also already packed at the outdoor stage.

Inside the bar wasn’t too bad, but the outside area in front of the stage was packed. Going back inside you find an empty table and sit down. A waitress comes over for your drink order and Keegan adds an order of Nachos.

“No sense drinking on an empty stomach.”

“You’re a smart one Mr. Allen.”

The drinks arrive and he looks around the restaurant, a band is playing in the background. “So you live 8 minutes away and haven’t been to any of these places?” he questions with disbelief.

“Well, I haven’t even been living there a month yet. I was staying with Jared before that, it’s probably 25, 30 minutes from there. I was living at Jensen’s place first, when I moved here from LA. He might have ordered from here before and picked it up, but I don’t think we ever came down here.”

“I didn’t mean to bring up that. I um…”

“Heard the gossip about that breakup? It was announced on TV, so it doesn’t really surprise me if you did.”

“Sorry.”

You just shrug, not wanting to get into it too much and bring the mood down. “How are you liking Texas so far?”

“Good. Not quite as crazy as California.”

“True. Which is nice sometimes.”

“It is,” he agrees.

“So where did you find to call home while you’re staying here?”

“I’m leasing an apartment at The District at SoCo. It’s like 2-3 minutes away from your place.”

“I’ve driven by there, looks nice.”

“It is. Clean, roomy. I like it.”

“That’s good.”

The nachos arrive and the conversation slows. A little after five the tab is paid and the two of you make your way over to The Green Jay.

The place is already filling up. You ask Keegan to find a table and you grab some soft drinks from the bar to start. Trying to slow the pace of your night out. While at the bar, you find out they don’t serve food but allow you to bring it in from other local restaurants. The band takes the stage and it’s so loud you aren’t able to hold much of a conversation. After listening to a few songs from their second band of the night, Keegan asks if you want to check out Valhalla, which should be open now.

The bands there are just staring for the night, and the place is still fairly empty. Grabbing drinks first the two of you make your way to a table. Keegan notices some foosball tables off the side and challenges you to a game. He ends up winning two rounds and you go back to the table to put in a dinner order. While you wait, you talk Keegan into an air hockey game. This time you come out the victor.

When dinner arrives you make your way back to the table and enjoy the music while you eat. It’s after 9, when the two of you are finally ready to head out.

Getting to your apartment complex, he walks you up to the door, before saying goodnight.

“Thanks for hanging out with me tonight.”

“It was fun. Thanks for inviting me,” you respond.

“We’ll have to plan something else again. See you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, have a good night, drive safe.”

“Will do. Night.”

You wake up Monday to a number of Instagram notifications on your phone. Opening up the app as you get out of bed you see Keegan tagged you in a post last night. There are some videos and photos from the different bars, you never even noticed him taking any. Scrolling through he has pictures of the various bands, a video of you singing along with a song, you standing at the air hockey table looking away from the camera, and one with the outside of each bar.

Fun night exploring more of Austin. Thanks for the company @Y/NPadalecki

You skim the various comments as you're brushing your teeth. There are more than a few that question if you two are dating now and if that’s why you broke up with Jensen. Shaking your head, you continue to get yourself ready for work.

The morning on set goes by quickly, as you are walking to the catering tent Keegan comes up beside.

“Hey, can we take lunch in your trailer or mine? We should talk.”

“Okay, yeah, sure.”

When you both have your food, he follows you over to your trailer. As he sits across from you at the table you speak first.

“Is something wrong?”

“Not really, maybe, I don’t know. I’m not sure if you were on Instagram today, or…”

“I was.”

You notice the brief frown on his face before he hides it. “I saw some of the comments about the two of us dating, and I realized we never really talked about what we were, and what that was.”

He looks up at you, but you stay silent to see where he is going. Your mind is racing, you aren’t sure if you are ready to get back out in the dating pool yet.

“When I asked you to go with me I was asking as a friend, I didn’t mean to lead you on. We’ve just gotten along so well on set, and I don’t know many people around. I thought we could be friends, hangout and whatever. I have a girlfriend, it dawned on me this morning I don’t think I ever told you about Ali. I’m sorry.”

“Honestly, I wasn’t thinking along those lines either. I’m not sure I’m ready to get back out there yet. I could use another friend though, I don’t know too many more than you do here.”

“Friends?” he questions.

“Friends. I’d like to hear more about Ali sometime. If she's in town sometime maybe we could all hang out.”

“I think she’d be okay with that. I’ve told her about you.”

Going back to your food, it isn’t long before you are being called back to set. While you are packing up at the end of the day, there’s a knock on your trailer door.

“It’s open!”

Your brother walks in a moment later.

“Hi.”

“Hey Jare, what’s up?”

“So how was your night out?”

“It was fine. I’ve never been to that part of downtown before.”

“So you and Keegan, huh?”

“Jared Tristen Padalekci, don’t you dare even start with me, don’t go there. Whatever it was or is or isn’t, is no one’s business but our own. I’m not involving you in my love life one way or the other anymore.”

You know there is nothing between the two of you, but you don’t want your older brother’s opinions or interference either way. He stands there staring at you a moment, slightly taken back.

“I just want to make sure you don’t get hurt again.”

“I do appreciate that, but if there was something to tell, I would do it in my own time.”

He stares at you for a moment, “alright, fine. Leaving it alone.�� Do you want to come over for dinner Sunday? We were going to tell Tom about the baby.”

“That’s a family moment, I don’t want to intrude.”

“You are family too. Plus Jeff’s family is coming. ”

“Then sure, just let me know what time.”

The rest of the week went by quickly, you were on set everyday this week. Thursday is a lighter day for you. Gen and Jared have a few scenes, so you hang out with Tom in your trailer while they are busy. He helps you pick out what dessert to make for Sunday.

“I want that one!” he exclaims pointing to a cake.

“The orange one?”

“Yeah! Can we have those on top too?” He points to a cupcake with orange chew candies on top.

“Alright, let’s see what that cake entails. I’ll see if I can find the candies.”

The cake he chose is an orange dreamsicle with orange cream cheese frosting.

“I think it’s doable buddy.”

“Can we have it tonight?”

“Um, no. It’s going to be for Sunday. But we can go see if they have any cookies at craft services. How about that?”

“Okay,” he reluctantly agrees.

After returning to your trailer with a cookie or three, Tom settles down on the couch and eventually drifts off for his nap. You go over your scenes for the next day until Gen comes to take him home.

You’re grumbling to yourself as you walk through the crowded grocery store late Saturday morning. You should have come after work yesterday and it wouldn’t have been so bad. You’re trying to grab a few groceries for your apartment and the ingredients for tomorrow’s cake. Somehow you spend almost an hour in the crowded store, before you are finally on your way back home. Stopping at a nearby sub shop, you grab lunch to take with you.

Once the groceries are put away, you pull up the directions for the cake and pull out the ingredients needed. Thankfully the apartment actually came with two round baking pans. When it’s in the oven you set out the frosting ingredients that need to rise to room temp and collapse over on the couch.

When the cakes are out you whip up the crumb coating frosting so it’s ready to go when the two layers cool. The orange layer of filling is next. As you are working you realize just how much you miss having a normal size kitchen, and your own pans and utensils. This little one really isn’t meant to spend much time in.

You hit the apartment gym while waiting for the crumb coating to harden so you can finish the frosting. Returning later, you clean up the kitchen after the cake is finished, hit the shower and spend the evening on the couch watching Hallmark.

Over at Jared’s house one excited Tom is waiting for his Unca Jensen to arrive. Watching out the front window he excitedly yells when the familiar truck pulls up.

“He’s here, he’s here, he’s here!” He waits for the truck to stop before running outside, Jared right behind him.

“Tom, how’s it going buddy?” Jensen asks, picking him up and carrying him toward the house.

Little man wastes no time filling him in on the week he’s had. Jensen greets Jared as he walks up to him, and the three retreat into the house. Tom is showing off a new toy and telling him about a blanket fort he built with his dad one night. When it becomes obvious the young boy has some energy to burn, they change clothes and move down to the pool.

It’s later in the swim when Tom brings up his Aunt Y/N. Jared notices the quick look of sadness that comes across his friend's face, and the way he has to look away. The two of them haven’t talked a lot lately, and none of it’s been anything very deep. Gen told him what was said when she picked up Tom, and he is wondering exactly what Jensen might be thinking about his sister.

When Tom tires of the water and they get out of the pool, he decides to bring it up. Making sure his son is occupied with his toy in the yard he turns to Jensen.

“Gen told me about the conversation the two of you had last week.”

Jensen looks up at his friend, but doesn’t speak.

“I’ve heard Y/N’s side of things, and I know what happened here, but I haven’t really heard much of yours.”

Taking a deep breath Jensen looks over at his friend, “What do you want me to say?”

“The truth, what happened? I really thought she meant something to you, or I would have put up a bigger fight when you first told me you wanted to ask her out years ago.”

He thinks over how he wants to explain everything. “Honestly, I didn’t realize how bad things between us had become until after she left Toronto. I really never meant for things to go as bad as they did. I got so caught up with trying not to screw up and piss anyone off on set, and get along with them all, I…I just lost sight of the people who were most important to me.”

He brings back up the Dark Angel set, Jared understands that, Jensen has told him before just how bad things there had been. He can understand his friend not wanting a repeat, especially working with a much larger cast.

“It took a few weeks after she was gone for me to get over the hurt of her leaving and breaking up. Then I started to notice I was waiting for her to call, I realized then she was right. I expected her to call, I stopped picking up the phone and reaching out to her, I stopped putting time and effort into the one thing I should have been terrified to lose. But I was too stuck in my head to recognize what was going on. Suddenly, I didn’t have the one person I wanted to share everything I was working hard for with. I really had nothing at all then.”

They are both quiet for a minute before Jensen continues.

“I’ve talked to Gen and Mack, I’ve told them both she deserves better than me, and she does. But I’ve come to realize, I want to be selfish. I want her back, I need her. I’m just not sure if she’ll take me.”

Jared studies his friend’s face and can tell he really means that. He knows how bad he screwed up, he does seem to be hurting too. “She is still upset, I have no idea if she will or won’t give you another shot. If you hurt her again, I won’t be able to hold back from punching you.”

“I have no intention of messing up again if she is willing to give this another chance. But I don’t know if I can do that to her right now.”

“What’s that mean?”

“I’m going to be working in New Mexico some over the next few months. I’ll be back and forth between here and there, then there is press for The Boys and the movie coming up later on.”

“Are you trying to talk yourself out of this now? Or just giving excuses for why you won’t try?”

“She deserves someone who’s around.”

“That’s up to her. Both of you understand how this industry works. You need to decide if you really want her back before you just start playing games and leading her on. Until you do, maybe you both need some space.”

Jared leaves Jensen sitting out there with Tom, while he goes to see if Gen needs any help with dinner. The four of them sit out on the patio for dinner and Tom asks when Jensen is going to come back over.

“I’m not sure buddy. I leave tomorrow for work out of town again. We’ll do something when I get back alright?”

“How long are you gone for?” Jared asks, as he walks back over.

“I’m in New Mexico until Saturday, I fly to Dallas for Levi’s birthday, then go back to New Mexico. I think I’m here again the Friday before we leave for the Colorado Convention.”

“So you really will be coming back here some?” He questions, trying to get a feel for his friends' plans.

“Yes. It’s just going to be a recurring role. They’ve already started filming, they’re done with me in early November for the most part. I might be in an episode or two filming in the spring.”

“So this one won’t be months at a time, seems like it’s already different from what you were doing earlier this year.”

After dinner Tom runs off to play leaving the adults sitting at the table. Jared starts clearing off the table when Gen goes to get up.

“I got it, you take a break. You’ve been going long enough today.”

It takes him a minute, but what Jared is referring to finally clicks in Jensen’s head. “That’s right, how are you doing? How is baby number 2 treating you?”

“We’re both fine. Not as active as Tom was yet. I’m sure that will change.”

“Does Tom know, he hasn’t mentioned the baby.”

“No, we're telling him tomorrow.”

Jensen helps Jared clean up before heading back home to finish packing. His head is full with thoughts of you, and what he should do. He knows what he wants to do, but he isn’t sure he can face your rejection, even if he does deserve it.

Thank you for reading!

Chapter 14- Coming soon

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k-evans-reads · 2 years ago

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In Living Color

Chapter 12

Summary: When Natalie Marton, lead character designer for Buzz Lightyear, meets the voice of Buzz, Chris Evans, the sparks are undeniable. But when their work pushes them away from each other, both physically and emotionally, will the sheer differences between their worlds be enough to force them apart?

Pairing: Chris Evans x Pixar Animator OFC Natalie Marton

Word Count: 7,739

By: @k-evans-writes and @ourfinest-hour

We do NOT give permission for our works to be reuploaded, translated, or reposted on any other site. Our work is our own.

Warnings: None.

Previous | Main Masterlist | In Living Color Masterlist

September 17th, 2021

Nat turned off her car, practically vibrating with excitement. Her father, sisters, brother-in-laws, nieces, and nephew had just landed in Burbank and were closer to her than they’d been in months. It’d taken everything in her to not meet them at the airport, but instead she’d gone to Chris’ to help him get everything together for the afternoon and evening at his house while her family picked up their rental cars and made their way over.

It was the first time they’d meet Chris in anything except a phone call, and the first time he’d properly meet her father. She wasn’t nervous, but she couldn’t help but want it to go well. Her family and their approval meant the world to her, especially in the wake of Shane, but Chris had quickly begun to mean almost more than that, and she wanted nothing more than for this to go as she hoped.

She hopped out of the car and grabbed her bag before she headed inside, smiling to herself at the music already playing over his speakers and the sound of Dodger’s nails against the hardwood floors as he ran to greet her.

“Hi buddy! How’s my bubba?” She asked, crouching down to pet Dodger. The dog excitedly leaned up, kissing her cheeks.

She’d just stood up when Chris’ confused voice called out, asking, “Nattie? Is that you?”

“Yeah, it’s just me,” she replied, smiling to herself when Dodger went trotting back towards the kitchen, tail wagging excitedly.

She followed Dodger, smiling when she found Chris in the kitchen. “I thought you were going to meet your family at the airport?” He asked her as they moved towards each other, leaning down to peck her lips before they hugged.

“I was but then I figured I’d just come here,” she murmured, squeezing him before she moved away and put her bag down on a barstool. “I thought you might need some help getting things ready.”

Chris shrugged as he moved over to the stove, filling a pot of water and turning on the burner. “I think I’ve pretty much got everything,” he explained.

“It looks like it,” Nat smirked, eyes moving over the counter filled with paper bags. She peered into them, seeing snacks, boxes of macaroni and cheese, different condiments, and drinks – both child-friendly and adult. “Did you buy the whole grocery store?”

“I wanted to make sure everyone had what they liked. I got some chicken and burgers and things to grill, and then all the sides and everything are in the fridge,” he shrugged, an embarassed look on his face as he reached into the bag, pulling out both boxes of macaroni. “Oh and I remembered that you said Lily was really picky and only liked one kind of macaroni and cheese and I couldn’t remember if it was Kraft or Annie’s so I just got both.”

Nat watched as he kept talking, more to himself than her considering the way she completely ignored what he was saying. She couldn’t believe that he remembered that detail, that stupid, offhand detail she’d only mentioned while rambling one night during a phone call, when he was half-exhausted and walking onto set. He remembered everything she said, not only about herself, but about her family, despite having no real relationship with any of them yet, and tears threatened to spring to her eyes at that realization. When she realized he was holding the boxes in his hands and looking at her expectantly, she cleared her throat and told him, “Annie’s.”

“See, that’s what I thought but then when I was standing there looking at them, I kept second guessing myself,” he chuckled, shaking his head. He put the blue Kraft box to the side and pulled a second box of Annie’s out, moving back to the stove. The water was boiling already and he opened the purple boxes, carefully removing the cheese packets and dumped the pasta in, setting a timer before he turned back to the bags.

And although Chris kept talking, showing her the different snacks and food he bought, Nat found herself listening less to what he was directly saying and more in-tune with the fact that each and every thing that he was showing her was lovingly picked by him to make her family happy and comfortable when they came to meet him. He had gotten her favorite guacamole even though he didn’t like it, every kind of chips known to man for the kids, and had remembered that tiny detail she hadn’t even remembered mentioning that Lily had only liked one kind of boxed macaroni.

She knew that she caught him off guard at the end of his walk through of groceries when she simply told him, “I love you.”

“I think you’ve mentioned that before,” he smirked, his eyebrows waggling a little before he turned, putting a case of beers into the oversized fridge. “But I certainly don’t mind you saying it again.”

When he turned back around, she stepped towards him, reaching out a hand to take his as she repeated, “I love you, Chris.”

“I love you too,” he whispered, pressing his lips to hers. They pulled apart sooner than she wanted, but his eyes flickered to look at the buns on top of her head and he muttered, “Even if you look like Mickey Mouse right now.”

She stared at him, her jaw dropped as she insisted, “I thought they were cute!”

“I mean they’re cute,” he shrugged, frowning slightly before he laughed.

Nat just turned to stick her tongue out at him knowing that he was lying but all of it was quickly forgotten when he leaned in to kiss her once more before they fully focused on getting everything ready.

She was marinating the chicken and seasoning the burgers when the security system beeped, notifying them that someone was at the gate. Exchanging smiles, Nat quickly washed her hands and followed Chris to the door, opening the front door just as he unlocked the gate so her family could come in. He squeezed her hand before he walked back to the kitchen, giving her a moment with them.

Ella ran to Nat first, meeting her in the doorway as she hugged Nat’s midsection. “Auntie Nattie!” She excitedly said, squeezing Nat tightly.

“Ella!” Nat said, squeezing her eyes shut before she squatted down, looking at Ella with a grin. “I can’t believe you guys are here!”

Heather scoffed from behind her daughter, shifting the backpack on her shoulder. “Excuse me, we’re here too,” she reminded Nat, smirking when her sister met her eyes.

“It’s not my fault that Ella beat you in here!” Nat laughed, but stood to her full height after hugging Lily and Carson.

“Give us hugs too,” Heather grinned, reaching for her sister. Nat made her way around the group, hugging everyone, mindful of Alex’s pregnancy bump.

Ryan’s eyes were moving throughout the wide space behind her, almost in awe as he said, “This place is huge!”

“Yeah it is,” Alex chuckled, smiling as Dodger licked Carson’s cheeks. “Where is Chris anyway?”

“He’s in the kitchen,” Nat informed them, knowing he’d slipped away before they even reached the door. “Do you guys want to go meet him?”

With the open floor plan, Chris could hear everything from where he was piddling around in the kitchen pulling out some plates. He had wanted to give Nat a moment with her family, letting them have an uninterrupted moment together but hearing that they were headed toward him made Chris’ heart beat just a little bit faster when he heard the voices getting closer and closer.

Nat had just stepped around the corner of the short hallway, a smile on her face when she met Chris’ eyes while her arm was wrapped around Lily. “So everyone, this is Chris. And Chris, I think you indirectly know everyone,” she introduced him with a laugh.

He gave a short and admittedly awkward wave, then told them, “I’m really glad that all of you could come over.”

But Carson broke whatever tension was there when he excitedly said to Chris, without any hesitation, “I like your dog!”

“Well he’s going to be happy to have someone to play with him,” Chris grinned, high-fiving the three year old.

Ella turned to Nat, eyes wide as she asked her, “Can we go play in the pool?”

Chris laughed, and before long everyone split up, with Nat showing her sisters a guest room where they could get the kids changed for the pool and Eric, Ryan, and Zach hopped into helping Chris get dinner ready. He couldn’t help but laugh loudly when he watched Carson practically tear through the house, ready to go and bouncing excitedly by the wide glass doors until Nat took him outside, and soon enough everyone was out there, enjoying the pool and company while Chris and Zach split the grilling duties and the kids ate their macaroni and cheese and the just-delivered pizza.

“So now we finally know what movie stars' houses are like,” Heather smirked behind her beer as she leaned back in her chair.

Alex laughed, shaking her head and admitting, “It’s honestly exactly what I pictured. I knew there’d be a big pool.”

But Chris shrugged, shucking the attention as he turned to the grill and flipped the burgers as he said, “I don’t know that it’s that special. I think just about everyone in California has a pool.”

A tiny voice from the table piped up, and Chris smiled as he listened to Ella say, “Auntie Nat doesn’t.”

“Thanks for pointing that out, Ella,” Nat groaned playfully before she laughed.

“Yeah Ella you better be nice to Aunt Nattie because she’s getting us into Disneyland,” Eric smirked, laughing loudly when Nat smacked his arm lightly.

“I wasn’t being mean, I just said she doesn’t have a pool,” Ella shrugged, reaching for her slice of pizza and taking a bite of it.

Chris met Nat’s eyes from behind his dark sunglasses, raising an eyebrow and telling her, “You’re right Nat, she is going to give you a run for your money.”

The group laughed before they quieted down, listening to the kids chatter as they ate their pizza while wrapped up in their fluffy towels, Carson practically on his knees so he could reach the table. After handing his grandson another slice of pizza, Eric told Chris, “Next time we come down to do Disneyland, you need to come with us, Chris.”

He sighed, shaking his head. He knew they didn’t quite understand the logistics behind these things and why he declined much more than just him saying no, but he honestly told her father, “I wish I could this time, but I promise I will next time.”

“Are you joining us for anything else this week?” Ryan asked curiously, handing Zach plates for the chicken and burgers as the meat thermometers beeped.

“No, I’m actually flying back to Boston tomorrow to spend some time at home,” he explained. He’d chosen this weekend to go home with Dodger for a bit of time, spending the longest stretch of time at home with his family since January. He’d planned on being back more during the summer, but a curly-haired wrecking ball quickly threw all his plans to the wind. But with her family coming into town, and after a few hours of thinking, he’d decided it was probably time to go home for a while and to see everyone back in Massachusetts and check in on things out there.

“Well we’re glad you invited us over this evening,” Heather smiled, moving to help them while Eric and Nat quickly ran inside to grab the rest of the food before they joined them at the table. “And Lily is glad that you have her favorite mac and cheese.”

Chris smiled, not missing the tiny grin on Lily’s face directed towards him. “Oh I knew better than to mess with a girl and her favorite macaroni,” he laughed.

Once the food was passed around and the adults began eating while the kids started to play with some of the toys he’d gotten at Target in the yard, Nat spoke up, “Zach, I’ve been meaning to ask how your parents are doing since your grandma passed.”

“They’re doing alright. It’s hard but they’re doing pretty okay,” he shrugged, passing Alex the coleslaw and pickles.

But Alex quickly interjected, “Oh my god, Nat, did we tell you who we saw at the memorial service?”

“Who?” Nat asked with a furrowed brow, her elbow bumping Chris’ as she took a swig of her beer.

“Shane,” Alex simply replied.

Hearing that one name made Chris’ ears perk up as he glanced around the table. He hadn’t heard a lot about Nat’s ex, but knew enough to know that it hadn’t ended well and based on the looks on everyone’s faces, that only was confirmed. His eyes lingered for a moment on Eric, seeing the way he quietly was pushing some of the food around on his place, telling Chris that there were a lot of unresolved things there with him, and likely a lot of tongue-biting on Eric’s part since Shane and Zach were cousins. But the one thing that didn’t surprise Chris was how blunt Alex was about things, knowing from all the stories he’d heard from Nat that her middle sister pulled no punches, even when it came to family.

“Did he talk to you guys?” Nat asked, her voice much more restrained and cooler than it’d been all evening. Under the table, his hand found hers and gently held it, squeezing it gently as they listened to her family.

Heather shrugged, glancing around the table before she quickly checked on the kids, smiling at the sound of their laughter. “He avoided dad like the plague but he talked to Zach,” she told everyone.

The other Marton sister groaned, rolling her eyes as she reached for her water and telling them, “It’s honestly criminal that Zach has such a horrible cousin.”

Her husband looked at her with a frown, muttering, “Hey it’s not my fault I’m related to him.”

“I thought he was still in Europe,” Nat quietly said, her brows furrowed and jaw set tightly. She didn’t relax when Chris squeezed her hand again, hoping to reassure her but failing.

“He came back for the funeral and he brought his fiance,” Alex explained, before her eyes widened. “And Nat, she was wearing your ring.”

Nat’s face fell and Chris felt her tense, her hand slipping out of his grasp as she asked in disbelief, “What?”

“Yeah, she was wearing the same ring that you mailed back to him,” Alex informed her, shaking her head as she poured dressing over her salad. “I couldn’t even believe it.”

But Eric thankfully spoke up, his voice firm but calm as he pointed out, “Alex, I don’t think that Nat wants to hear about it and frankly neither do I,” and then managed to change the subject after taking a bite of his dinner, “Chris, this chicken is so good. You really did a great job with this.”

Chris laughed, shaking his head at Eric’s words. He was grateful for the change in conversation and confessed to the family, “I have about five things I can actually cook and this is one of them.”

As the conversation shifted, Chris let his arm snake around Nat’s shoulders, pulling her closer to press a soft kiss to her cheek to silently try to tell her that he was there for her, knowing that couldn’t have been an easy thing to hear. It pained him to hear these little tidbits of Nat’s past, knowing the pain it must have brought her, but although he knew that he couldn’t change any of that, he could help change her future and hoped that he already was.

Soon stories were being loudly retold around the table, causing Chris to crack up endlessly as they told story after story of Nat growing up, not a single one surprising him in the slightest. His gaze flickered over to the kids who were running around in the yard, Dodger chasing after them until Lily started hanging back from the group. He knew from what Nat had said that Lily was the shy one of the group and he recognized from his own moments in childhood that she was running out of energy and needed some space.

Chris watched her stand by the edge of the grass just watching her sister and cousin for a while before quietly walking over and making her way to Nat’s chair. It warmed his heart to see Nat instinctively slide her chair back, opening her arms for Lily as the little girl climbed up on her lap to snuggle in. He saw the way Nat’s tense shoulders relaxed the moment Lily was in her arms, any lingering emotions from the Shane conversation finally wiped from her mind as she focused all her energy on making sure Lily was okay. And that, to him, was Nat in a nutshell. She’d light herself on fire to keep others warm, repress anything just to make sure you felt okay. And while it was to a fault sometimes, here it was nothing more than pure love for her little niece.

Nat rested her chin on top of Lily’s head, listening to the story Ryan was telling before kissing the top of Lily’s head while she squeezed her softly. Chris saw the way that Lily was shyly glancing at him, making Chris smile at her as she buried her face back into Nat’s chest. He was content to leave her alone, knowing that she’d need time to warm up to him but Nat was the one who gently pushed her as she said, “Lily, did you know that Chris is the one who got you your favorite macaroni and cheese?”

At Lily’s nod, Heather spoke up from next to Nat, asking, “Lily, what do you say to Chris?”

“...Thank you,” Lily whispered, her green eyes tentative as they met his before they darted away.

Chris smiled, glancing down at the beaded bracelets on her little wrists, spelling out her name and some other words. “Lily, I like your bracelets. Did you make those?” He asked, pointing to them.

“Mhmm,” she nodded, her hand moving to fiddle with them anxiously.

“You should tell Chris what you got for Christmas last year,” Nat murmured, gently prodding her.

“I got a, a big box of beads,” she told Chris, her eyes wide as he listened to her.

“And she made all kinds of bracelets. She even made me a necklace with my name on it,” Nat added, Chris smiling at the girl. He already knew about the necklace, having asked about it during a random FaceTime call over the summer, but he knew Nat was simply trying to get Lily to open up a bit more.

“Oh you know what? Lily, I’ve seen your Aunt Nattie wear that necklace so many times. She really loves it,” he told the girl, eyes wide. His smile grew as Lily looked up at him, surprised he’d seen it before.

Nat tilted her head down, moving her left hand to rest on Chris’ arm as she told her niece, “Lily, did you see that Chris is wearing bracelets too? They even have beads like yours.”

Lily’s eyes moved down to the black and red bracelets on his wrists, Chris moving his arms so she could have a closer look. After a moment’s scrutiny with a frown and furrowed brows, her green eyes lifted to look between her aunt and Chris, and she pointed out to them, “They’re not sparkly though.”

“No, they don’t have those cool rainbow sparkly beads like yours do,” Chris sighed, shrugging forlornly. “You’re a pretty good artist, Lily. You make some pretty bracelets.”

The little girl smiled at his praise, sitting up a little straighter and admitting, “I want to be an artist like Auntie Nattie.”

“Remember what I told you Lily, you’re already an artist,” Nat corrected gently.

Lily nodded seriously and Chris smiled at her, saying, “I’d like to see more of your drawings and jewelry sometime if you wouldn’t mind showing me, Lily.”

“Okay,” she nodded, smiling at him before her eyes dropped back down to the bracelets on their arms.

The rest of the evening passed quickly, with one last dip in the pool before the kids, shivering from the evening air, had popsicles while sitting wrapped up in their towels. As Carson’s yawns grew too frequent to ignore, Nat helped Heather usher the kids off to a guest room with Zach right behind them while Eric insisted on helping in cleaning up despite Chris’ protests.

With Alex being uncomfortably pregnant, she stayed in her spot and worked on sealing up the bags of chips and stacking plates, Ryan started stacking up the extra chairs and Eric brought in a stack of dishes behind Chris. He put his stack in the sink while telling Eric he could leave them right on the counter, but Eric just ignored him and pulled open the dishwasher to start loading them in.

“Eric, you really don’t need to do that,” Chris told the older man quietly, glancing to the side as he began handwashing some of the grilling utensils. “Nat and I will take care of it later.”

But Eric simply shrugged, insistent as he suggested, “Or I could just do it now so you don’t have to do it later.”

Chris frowned, shaking his head to himself as he continued washing the tongs and placed them on the dish rack. “My Ma would be very unhappy if she knew I was letting a guest do any work,” he admitted.

“Good thing she doesn’t know then,” Eric joked, making Chris chuckle. After a few moments of silence while Chris continued washing the dishes and Eric reached for the next stack of plates, loading the dishwasher, her father added, “I’m sure she’ll be happy you’re going home tomorrow.”

“Oh she is, and I am too,” Chris confessed while he placed the dish brush down, then pumped soap into his hands and began washing them. “I love being home in Massachusetts more than anything. I was supposed to be home all summer after shooting in Europe but that obviously didn’t happen.”

Eric nodded to himself before a small smirk appeared on his lips and he shut the dishwasher softly. “Well I know someone that you made very happy by being in California,” he told Chris.

Chris was unable to help the smile that spread across his lips, confessing to the man, “She’s not the only one who’s happy about it.”

“You know Chris, when I was flying down here this morning, I was sitting on the plane thinking about this spring when I came to visit Nat,” Eric began, his voice low as he looked around the wide space, his eyes eventually locking onto the dark view outside of the home, overlooking the twinkling city of Los Angeles, occasionally glancing to Ryan and Alex as they cleaned up outside. He was quiet, quiet enough that the kids' shouts echoed throughout the home, but soon he admitted, “And I know I worry way too much about my girls, especially Nattie, but I just remember going home and feeling really unsettled about seeing just how lonely Nat was.”

Chris’ brow furrowed as he listened to Eric speak, asking, “She was?”

“I think with her breaking off her engagement early last year and then being home with us because of Covid, and now being back to work… Well, I think it was a hard adjustment. I know it wasn’t easy on her,” Eric shook his head, staring at his feet as he sighed, then he finally lifted his eyes to meet Chris’ from where they stood just a few feet apart, the small of his back against the marble counters while Eric leaned against the island. “And I guess what I’m trying to say is that coming back here today, I can see just how happy Nat is and I know a lot of that is thanks to you.”

Chris felt himself shrink under the man’s praise, shrugging sheepishly as he divulged, “I’m not so sure about that, but I’d like to think I’m adding something to her life.”

But Eric nodded confidently as he stared at Chris, making the younger man fidget under his gaze, instead focusing on Dodger as the dog wandered through the house and down the hall to find Nat. “Judging by the look in Nattie’s eyes, I can tell you’re adding a lot,” Eric murmured.

And that one simple statement was enough to have Chris’ heart feeling warm from the inside out. He knew that Nat hadn’t been alone in struggling after starting to slowly come out of the pandemic. It had been a chance to look at things differently and see what really was important in life. He knew how much it had adjusted his own priorities and it seemed it had done the same for Nat, but he was thankful for every bit of it, knowing that all of it had helped in leading them together.

But with how anxious Chris’ brain had been lately, he couldn’t help but have so many doubts. He had churned over and over in his mind how he possibly could be doing any good for Nat. How his life would only bring stress, publicity, and chaos to the life of someone – and her family – who wasn’t used to dealing with any of it. Chris knew he loved Nat with his whole heart, and knew that was only growing all the time, but in his inner turmoil the past few weeks he could only see what Nat brought to his life, and felt like he wasn’t bringing anything but negative to hers.

All those thoughts had been swirling in his mind and then adding on the fact that her family was coming had only added to his anxiety. It wasn’t that he hadn’t looked forward to meeting them all, and in fact quite the opposite, but he knew how much the Marton family had gone through together in losing their mom and wife. He knew just how tight they all were, being so connected to one another and making their approval of him only more important because of the importance of them all in Nat’s life. But hearing Nat’s only parent assure Chris that he had been good to Nat, that he had made her happy, that he had made her feel loved, did more for his heart than he even knew.

As if Eric could somehow seem to read his mind, Chris felt a hand on his shoulder, bringing him back out of his thoughts as he looked at Eric’s kind face smiling at him, reminding him so much of Nat in that moment. Feeling the deep emotions stinging at his heart, Chris couldn’t help but reach out and wrap his arms around the older man, sharing a hug with him as an unspoken connection between them was felt. When they let go of one another, Eric patted Chris’ shoulder before turning his head to look at Carson who had just wandered into the kitchen wearing his soft pajamas and hair wet.

“Are we ready to go, buddy?” Eric asked, giving his grandson a knowing smile.

Chris chuckled when Carson just yawned while nodding, as if to prove his point. As the rest of the kids straggled out of the guest room with Zach and Nat, Chris, Eric, and Carson headed towards the front door, Alex and Ryan came in from outside, heading to the door to grab their things and help the kids into their shoes before they turned to Chris and Nat.

A loud chorus of goodbyes and “Nice to meet you!”’ were echoed by the door as hugs were exchanged by everyone before they filed out, soon leaving only Chris and Nat together while Dodger walked around their feet to head toward his dog bed in the living room, tired from all the energy he spent from playing with the kids. With Chris going to head back to Boston the following day, Nat had chosen to spend her night here and meet up with her family the next morning, and although Chris had told her not to worry about it, he couldn’t help but feel happy about it now that he got to have his Nattie all to himself.

They cleaned up the last remnants of the evening together before they shut off the lights, heading down the hallway together with Dodger in tow. The dog hopped onto the bed and got comfortable while Chris and Nat headed into the bathroom, then the closet, to get changed for bed. He pulled his tee shirt up and over his head then tossed it to the laundry basket just as Nat, who was slipping on a pair of loose shorts and a baggy shirt, murmured, “Just so you know, you were a hit with my family.”

He looked up at her with a grin, standing up straighter as he slipped his shorts off and put them in the basket as well. “I sure hope so,” he admitted, shaking his head as he followed her into the bathroom and reached for his toothbrush while she began washing her face.

“Trust me, you were,” she insisted, leaning over the sink as she used the bottle of cleanser.

But Chris rolled his eyes, meeting her gaze in the wide mirror as he stubbornly reminded her, “It was Annie's macaroni and cheese. That did all the heavy lifting.”

“That sure did go a long way both with Lily and Heather,” Nat whispered as she patted her face dry, then reached for her own toothbrush. She squeezed toothpaste onto the brush while she met his eyes as he rinsed off his own brush and put it back in the stand, quiet as she added, “And me.”

He gave her a wry look and smirked as he leaned his hip against the countertop, crossing his arms over his chest. “Wait a minute, I thought I already won you over,” he told her, eyes on her as she brushed her teeth and shrugged innocently at him.

“Jury’s still out on that one,” she finally answered with a laugh, making his come out too just as she turned off the toothbrush, rinsing her mouth and the brush out before she reached for the container of moisturizer and started applying it. “Seriously though Chris, thank you for being so good to my family. And especially for how sweet you were to Lily.”

Chris shrugged, pursing his lips. He’d only wanted Lily to feel comfortable and safe there, not on edge and unsafe. He’d heard snippets of stories and one-sided conversations from Nat about the little girl and had an inkling of what was going on, but he wasn’t prepared for just how adorably attached she clearly was to her aunt. “She’s a sweet kid. It was cute seeing how much she loves you,” he told Nat with a faint smile as his eyes followed her as she finished up her routine.

“The fact she even spoke to you was huge,” Nat told him through a yawn, stepping back from the vanity and leading him out of the bathroom and into his room. He crossed the room to shut the curtains before he made his way to the bed, where Nat was sitting at the head with Dodger curled up next to her while she rubbed lotion onto her hands. Chris declined her silent offer of the lotion, instead laying across the foot of the bed on his side and watching her. She surprised him when she spoke up, her voice small as she confessed to him, “She’s had a lot of social anxiety and it’s been… really hard. She’s struggled a lot and it’s been so hard on Heather and Ryan because they’re trying to help her but it’s just tough.”

“I understand that. My anxiety was bad as a kid too,” Chris whispered as he nodded.

“Really?” Nat asked, eyebrows raised as she looked at him. At his nod, her shoulders slouched and she told him, “I’m so sorry, baby. I didn’t realize you struggled with it that long.”

Chris shrugged, running a hand through his dark hair and said, “I had a great family that helped me, and Lily does too so I know she’ll be okay.”

“We’re all so worried about her, but seeing that she opened up to you a little bit was really sweet,” Nat murmured, smiling at the memory.

“I’m glad she felt comfortable with me,” Chris spoke honestly, but then he quieted down as he looked at her carefully. “Are you okay, Nat?”

She furrowed her brows and tilted her head at him, curious as she asked, “Why do you say that?”

He shrugged, knowing there was a frown on his face as he looked down at the duvet, pulling off a loose thread. “You seemed a little thrown off when Alex brought up Shane, so I just wanted to see if you were alright,” he shrugged, glancing up at her eyes quickly.

Nat frowned, her eyes locked on Dodger as the dog moved his head onto her lap. Her hand moved back and forth over his head, avoiding the question as she smiled faintly at Dodger’s tiny sounds of contentment. Finally, she lifted her shoulders in a half-shrug, chuckling softly before she gave Chris some insight and explained, “Well I certainly wish that Alex hadn’t just blurted that out in front of everyone, especially you, but that’s just Alex. She has no filter ever.”

He raised an eyebrow at her, giving her a pointed look while he asked, “Oh because you do?”

“I have more than Alex does!” She laughed, leaning back against the fluffy oversized pillows as she smiled at him.

“Seriously though babe, that was kind of rough,” he leveled, watching her carefully. “It’s okay if you’re not feeling alright.”

“I don’t even know,” she admitted quietly, staring down at Dodger as she thought. His eyes fell to the beloved dog as well, watching as Dodger’s blinks grew longer and slower until he fell asleep in Nat’s lap. “I feel like I’ve worked through so many of the emotions of that and it doesn’t really bother me, but kind of makes me feel… I don’t know… weird at times I guess.”

“Well I’m here to listen if you want to talk about it,” he offered, trying to not push the subject and following her lead. “I’m a pretty good listener.”

“Says who?”

“Fuck off,” he smirked, laughing as she kicked his thigh lightly. “I’m being serious Nattie, you can always talk to me.”

Nat quieted, and Chris could see the wheels turning in her mind before she finally admitted, “...I don’t even know where I’d start.”

“Just start at the beginning,” he suggested, voice low and calm.

“When Alex and Zach got married, I met Shane at their wedding. We danced a lot and talked and really seemed like we connected,” Nat explained, sliding her right leg closer and bending it until she could rest her chin on top of her knee. Chris’ left hand landed on her left ankle, thumb moving over the skin there as he listened to her words patiently. “He lived in Seattle then but a few months after he ended up moving to California for work.”

“Is that when you guys started dating?” Chris gently asked, hoping his questions wouldn’t be unwelcomed.

But she nodded, explaining, “Yeah, he called me up and told me that he’d moved and so we got together and that was that.”

“How long were you together? It was a while, wasn’t it?” He asked, knowing he remembered the few conversations he’d had, both with Nat and with others, about Shane, but never recalling a number. His thumb kept moving along its path across her skin, his hand squeezing her ankle comfortingly.

“Almost five years,” she supplied before she took a deep breath. “I feel like things were fine for a while, but the deeper we got in, the more we just didn’t see eye to eye.”

“Like in what, babe?” He asked, brow furrowing. His thumb paused in its path, instead tapping as he thought. “Like in what you wanted out of the relationship?”

“Yeah and just like… I don’t know, I guess our roles? Or what we expected,” she struggled to explain, shrugging as her hand slipped off of Dodger and began fidgeting. “I’ve always been pretty independent-”

He couldn’t help himself as he drawled, “Really, I couldn’t have guessed that one.”

“I thought you said you were going to listen to me?”

“I am, I am, I’m just teasing,” he assured her, grinning a little. “Did Shane not like how independent you were?”

“I wouldn’t say he didn’t like it, I’d say more that he didn’t understand it,” she clarified, just before a look of insecurity – one he’d never seen before on her face – appeared and she cleared her throat. “I think he just didn’t understand how much I love my job. I mean, art is not just my job, it's who I am in so many ways and I think that just wasn’t something he could wrap his mind around.”

He squeezed her ankle again, thankful he could reach even just a little bit of her as his thumb resumed its path. “I get that. It’s the same with acting and how much of that creative appetite just really runs your decisions and what you want to do,” he tried to explain.

“Exactly, and Shane is pretty much the opposite of that,” Nat told him, frowning through a sigh. “And it’s not like that’s bad, in fact, I think Shane’s a lot more stable and steady than I’ll ever be, but he just didn’t get me and more than that, it just felt like he didn’t want to.”

“I’m sure that got worse the longer it went on.”

Nat nodded, glancing back down at Dodger as she lifted her chin off of her knee and wrapped her arms around herself. “It did, and then Shane just would start dismissing a lot of my thoughts or feelings. If I was upset or just feeling really down about just life or my art or things like that, he’d usually tell me I was being dramatic and told me I needed to get a grip on things better. And some of that was probably true, I mean, I know I can be dramatic-”

“Having feelings isn’t being dramatic,” Chris interrupted, knowing there must be a scowl on his face. “Even if they are a little blown out of proportion at times, you’re still feeling it at that moment and having someone tell you to just calm down doesn’t help.”

“It pretty much does the opposite,” Nat agreed, huffing. “But I just felt like he was always rolling his eyes at me. There were just always those ‘Oh Nat,’ type comments that just felt…shitty.”

“Nattie,” he murmured, his heart shattering at her confession.

“But some of it was my own fault. I mean, I’m the one who chose to stay with him. I felt that’s all I deserved so I put up with it and that’s on me.”

Chris shook his head, wanting nothing more than to be able to show that piece of shit how he’d made Nat feel. “You still didn’t deserve to be made to feel that way though,” he insisted.

“Yeah, I guess it’s just complicated. I agree that he shouldn’t have treated me that way, but I also never put a stop to it,” Nat explained, tightening her hold on herself. “I think the part that gets complicated is that Shane wasn’t a horrible person. He’s actually a really nice guy and we had a lot of good times together. I think that’s what made it more confusing.”

Chris knew what she meant, that it was hard to reconcile that someone could be great, while also making her feel like shit, and likely having to explain it to people, having to explain it to someone who only saw the best in them. “I can understand that. If it was all bad, I’m sure you would have left,” he reasoned.

“I think really the bottom line is that I felt tolerated by Shane. I never felt like he actually enjoyed me if that makes sense.” Nat finally said, an arm moving from her torso to hold in mid-air, waving vaguely. “I felt like he put up with me and loved me in spite of myself, rather than loving me for who I was and I accepted that because I felt that’s all I’d get. I never felt like someone would actually like me, so the fact he put up with me was what I felt like I deserved.”

“But you don’t Nat. You should never settle for someone who doesn’t love you for who you are.”

“I know, but when you don’t think there’s much to love about yourself, that’s what you’ll accept,” Nat confessed, her eyes breaking from his own to glance at Dodger again. “And I think throughout the last year or two of our relationship I really started to see that. I realized that I couldn’t ask someone else to love a person that I didn’t love. I always hated what made me different rather than celebrating the beauty of that.”

She was quiet as she stared at the sleeping dog, and Chris let her work through her thoughts, quietly waiting for her to be comfortable enough to share them with him, even if she was still scared. “And as I got a healthier self view, I saw how unfulfilling that relationship was but I wasn’t ready to just throw the towel in yet. And some things did get better and I thought we were going in a little better direction and we were engaged, but then he got a job in Europe and just expected me to move,” she finally admitted through a whisper.

His eyebrows rose quickly and he scowled, almost scoffing as he asked, “Seriously?”

“Yeah, he just didn’t even give it a thought and he got mad when I didn’t want to give up my job and everything I worked for and I knew that was it,” she shrugged, her arm moving back to hug herself again. “We had a huge fight and he left for Europe and told me if I came to my senses I could come to Europe but I just mailed him the ring and that was that.”

“Nattie,” Chris breathed, shaking his head as he struggled to find the words to convey what he was thinking. “I’m so sorry that happened to you, but I’m so proud of you for standing up for yourself and all the incredible things you’ve accomplished and worked for.”

She nodded and swallowed, breaking their eye contact again to stare at her legs, admitting, “That was the moment that I realized he didn’t love me for who I was and I was ready to let go at that point.”

“That’s always a good feeling though, to know that it was time to walk away and feel confident in your decision,” he pointed out, wanting nothing more than to wrap her up in his arms, but knowing she was okay, she was here, with him, hopefully not feeling any of these things. She was safe, loved, and happy, and he’d keep it that way forever if it was up to him.

“I’ve really changed a lot through all of it and honestly when I look back at it, I see how I’m such a different person on the other side of that and I don’t know if I would have gotten to the place I’m at emotionally if I hadn’t,” Nat finally recalled, a smile on her lips for the first time in nearly thirty minutes. “It really made me own who I was and learn to like Natalie Marton.”

His lips twitched into a grin and he met her eyes, admitting, “Well I’m glad you do, because I like Natalie Marton a lot.”

She rolled her eyes playfully, cocking her head to the side and sighing, “Sometimes I do still wonder why.”

“I’ll be there in those moments to remind you, because I love you Nattie. I love you so much more than I knew I could love someone,” he told her without an ounce of hesitation. “Loving you is the easiest thing I’ve ever done.”

Her eyes welled up with tears and he hesitated for a moment, unsure what she’d want, but when a sob left her lips, he crawled up the bed, settling on the empty space to her right and pulling her into him. He shushed her, holding her as the tears flowed from her eyes. Chris rubbed his hands up and down her back, feeling her nuzzle her face into the crook of his neck as she clung to him and cried.

But he was content to just hold her, comforting her in any way he could, knowing that these tears weren’t of raw pain, but rather from Nat finally getting to let out all of these feelings she’d likely been holding onto in pieces for years. She finally was able to put it all together and let it out, and nothing had made Chris feel more honored than being the one she confided in. Nothing had him more honored than to know she was finally letting go of that hurt, that she felt safe enough to finally do so, and he hoped she’d always feel not only safe, but secure enough to tell him anything. He couldn’t imagine how it’d felt to carry all of this alone for nearly six years, the course of their relationship and the year-long period it’d been since it’s dissolution, but as he pressed a kiss to her cheek, wiping her tears away one more time, he felt grateful that she loved him enough to share the load with him.

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jasmynblogs · 8 months ago

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PHOTOGRAPHERS EYE

The theme of my photo collection is family. I think the most important moments to capture are with family. Families are constantly growing and everyone changes physically. Each photo I've taken conveys the same message but at different times. While analyzing these photos you can infer the close relationship between these family members due to mainly the body language and facial expressions. You can see the connection of certain people growing older and certain people being an addition to the family. I have a big family that lives in various parts of the world and these photos help show the joy and chaos that comes along with our family. Each photo has a different location including different states. They also have different lighting which makes the photos mood pop more. Taking a look at these photos you understand the perspective of family on vacation and the changes of family.

Title: SIBLING TRIP TO SCHOOL

This photo shows an unusual morning routine for these siblings. Big sister finally got her license and can now take the little's to school. We don't usually do this but I had some extra time one morning and decided to drive them. I had also gotten them ready for school and fed them breakfast. My sister was super excited to have her hair done and asked if we could take a picture. In this photo we are capturing the moment of happy students ready to go get educated due to a great morning with family members.

Title: FAMILY HALLOWEEN NIGHT

This photo shows a big family ready for Halloween adventures. Each family member is dressed differently but everyone was so happy with their costumes. Even if we weren't in a matching family costume, we were all excited to take an adventure together. We wanted to involve every family member of the house to spend quality time for one night. We still had to attend school the next morning but they didn't stop anyone from getting a huge bag of candy. This photo captures a fun tacky night for a family of brothers, sisters, aunts, moms, and boyfriends.

Title: SAYING GOODBYE

This photo shows an aunt, her son, her niece, and her nephew. They all are standing in the middle of an airport getting ready to part ways. Her niece and nephew were visiting from Las Vegas and it was time to leave Arizona. Many tears were shed after this photo so we intended to capture a moment of happiness and final goodbyes. We spent an amazing week in the hot Arizona weather and loved every moment. We didn't want to leave and saying goodbye is the hardest part. This photo is a great example of a family not wanting to end vacation.

Title: GRANDMAS BUNCH

This photo was taken to capture a family who lives in Las Vegas while they visit Georgia. We were on a family trip to visit even more family in Georgia. The people in this photo are from my grandmas side which is the lady in the middle. She is surrounded by her grand babies which were gifted by her two daughters on each end. We all traveled as a big package and during this time we knew this group as home. Our group has changed much over time but this was the root in the beginning.

Title: LETS GO CRUISING

This photo is a family photo taken on a cruise in April. My mom, sister, aunts, uncle, and best friend are all around me. We were all so happy and grateful to be on such a great trip together. We all were matching for our white night and after these pictures we attended a great dinner. Everyone has a nice tan and a glow so bright it takes over the picture. The closeness of everyone shows that we aren't scared to love each other. We are better with the more of us and our smiles are bigger when we are next to each other. This photo is a great example of a happy family on vacation.

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frankmillerturnonyourlocation · 2 years ago

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Spotify Wrapped Prompt #66

Into the house, the halls in my mind/Into the rooms, the wandering eyes Warning for: drug use, description of trip by someone who doesn’t use lmao

"Poindexter, get off your keister, the kids are back. Soos!" Stan stirred his coffee briskly with a rapid clink-clink. "Get the kiddie pools in here, pronto!"

Ford lifted himself from the armchair with some effort, notebook nestled under his arm and fountain pen tucked behind his ear. The sounds of his great-niece and nephew greeted him before the sight of them.

"–just saying, there were easier ways."

"I'm surprised at you, Dip-Dop. If I didn't know any better, I would think that this was your first time engaging in yo-yo based combat!"

"Speaking of, this incident has made us redundantly thieves, since there's no way we're getting that yo-yo back to Hoo-Ha's. Add it to the list. Hope your girlfriend behind the counter doesn't come after us."

"Don't worry, we can order a bazillion of 'em for cheap off this cool website I found. Hey, Grunkle Stan!"

Dipper and Mabel, sweat-soaked and exhausted but no worse for wear, came tearing into the gift shop, plopping down about five gallon-sized bags each of a viscous, off-white liquid next to the cash register. It left a thick connecting strand behind when they pulled their hands away.

"Cash only," Stan deadpanned, poking one of the bags with a pen. It slumped over.

Ford entered the room with only a little bit of a limp. "Kids! I'm glad you're back. How goes the supply run?"

"Fantastic!" Mabel slid her backpack onto the floor and bent down to unzip it. "We have so much lemon juice. We're throwing off the town's culinary landscape for at least a month!"

"We got the juice, the herbs, and the drool," Dipper said, tapping the air like he was crossing each item off an invisible checklist. "I'm like ninety percent sure we gathered enough for at least a couple batches. Unless we have to mess with proportions significantly. But, yeah, I think we'll be okay."

"Great job, you two. Grab those bags of Kewpie drool, we're going to the kitchen."

"To the kitchen!"

"...this is spit? You kids put monster spit on my countertop?"

"To the kitchen!"

"It's oozing– augh, Mabel, look at this. Look at what you did to your grunkle."

With the pot on the stove at a comfortable boil and the kitchen filling with an oddly fresh, almost floral scent, Mabel felt like she had a chance to relax for the first time that day. First time in a couple days, actually. Sitting on top of the kitchen table, she stretched her arms high overhead, her muddy feet comfortably perched on her brother's lap.

"How'd you end up grinding those teeth down to a powder like this, Grunkle Ford?"

"Fiddleford showed me a fine contraption he had strung together some time back." Ford stroked his chin. "He told me it was a prototype intended as a nutcracker, but that it was far too brutish to be effective. Something he started but forgot to come back to."

"Hey, he remembered that he forgot about it. Still sounds like progress to me."

"Heh, that's nothin'. I remember about eight things before lunchtime!" Stan handed his brother a sprig of greenery, a unique strain of vervain that Mabel and Dipper had spent the better part of two hours searching for in the sun-speckled patches of the Gravity Falls woods.

"He means the eight times he forgets and remembers where he placed the TV remote." Ford let out a wry, breathy laugh as his brother elbowed him. He tore the leaves from the stem and dropped them each into the saucepan of drool, lemon juice, and dissolved deer teeth.

Mabel closed her eyes and listened to the odd sizzle of the vervain hitting the concoction. The kitchen was warm– as poorly insulated as the room was, it would have been warm with nothing on the stove and nobody inside. But now, with her whole family crowded around a boiling pot in the dead of July, the heat was damp, suffocating, the kind of heat that settled on the skin and hung in the air. Overwhelming.

Mabel loved it. She took a swig from her aluminum water bottle, choked on it a little, and reached up to untangle the sweat-soaked scrunchie from her hair.

"Where is our third-favorite crazy old man, anyway?"

"Upstairs," Ford said simply, stirring slowly.

Stan took a sip of his coffee.

"Awwright, dudes!" Soos swinging around the doorframe and into the kitchen gave Mabel the perfect distraction from the way Dipper's eyebrows had pinched. (His muscles relaxed the second he heard Soos' voice, anyway, which Mabel considered a bonus.) "Missus and Mini Mystery are locked into position! As in, they're going to stay at the park for a little while longer, get some fast food, and, uh, go see a movie. We've got til bedtime."

Dipper grinned. "What's Wen gonna make Melody see? Did they make a Glippy and the Glarbonauts movie already?"

"Ooh, or that dumb thing with the robot dogs I keep seeing ads for online?"

"Mabel, you would have been all over that kind of show as a kid."

Soos set his phone on the table. "Hey, Roborex is a quality family franchise. And we looked up reviews for this one, and so far, critics have been receiving it far better than they did the first three."

"Soos, stop talkin' about baby shows on my phone."

"It's not your phone, Grunkle Stan! You didn't even buy the minutes on it."

"It's a substitute for my broken landline, isn't it?"

"Your landline?"

Mabel put her hands on her hips. "It was a gift for the both of you."

"Yeah, yeah, but Ford never cared about our toys like I did." He waved his hand. "Anyway, don't waste my minutes. I like using a phone nobody knows the number to. Shoulda had the Shack's number changed years ago."

With a beleaguered sigh, Ford balanced the wooden spoon on the edge of the pot. "Would one of you please go and check on Fiddleford? I need to strain the solution now, but it shouldn't be allowed to cool before the next ingredient is added."

And there went Dipper's shoulders again. Mabel imagined she could even feel his thighs tense through the soles of her sneakers.

"No need," came the thin, reedy voice from the doorway. "Ah'm here. Stan, give yer brother a hand with that swill."

"I'll give him exactly eight more fingers, how's about that," Stan muttered, reaching for the strainer.

McGucket stood in the doorway, his already slight frame made somehow smaller by the circumstances. When he spoke, Dipper had pointedly turned his head to look out the window. Mabel noticed and made up for it, staring keenly at what he held carefully in his old, gnarled hands.

"That's all we'll need?" She asked airily.

He nodded, his expression unreadable.

Mabel thought it was the blood that made the potion change colors like it did, but it was actually the Tang, which she thought was pretty cool. "For taste," Ford offered to Dipper's questioning face.

Stan had largely separated himself from the nerd stuff, at this point, occupying his attention with the weird puppet Soos had pulled from a dumpster somewhere and wanted to turn into an exhibit. They whispered to each other about wood glue and varnish and little doll hats while Ford and Dipper geeked out about the procedures of the experiment.

"So was that the last ingredient?"

"Almost. I have to remember where I put... we're missing the psychoactive ingredient yet. In the sources I showed you, if you recall, the researchers made reference to an extremely rare, nearly deadly–"

"The mushrooms, yeah, I sticky-noted that page, I wanted to ask you about that. Did we get those? Do we need them?"

"Well–"

The more engaged they grew, seeming almost excited, McGucket shrunk further and further into the corner next to Mabel. She followed his gaze to the small, half-empty syringe of blood lying forgotten on the countertop.

"I correctly anticipated that my brother might have some–"

"Some old pals who owed me a few," Stan said, doing a poor job of pretending not to care about the conversation while he spit-shined one of the dummy's eyeballs.

"–some connections he was willing to exploit," Ford finished. McGucket tapped out a tight, erratic rhythm on his arm. Mabel watched his lips, imagined he was counting.

Ford had transferred the now-cooling liquid into a large eyedropper, the consistency requiring, though less viscous than before, more than a simple syringe. "Soos, my boy, would you go look for the blotter tabs on my desk? It should look like, ah, a sheet of very boring, square stickers."

"On it like a bonnet, dude." Halfway up the stairs, he said, "Oh, and I got the inflatable pools ready, but I haven't dumped all the salt in yet. Lemme know if we need that done next."

Ford nodded absently, but Dipper frowned. "I thought we weren't doing the sensory deprivation idea?"

"We said we would try it dry first, yes. But I thought it wouldn't hurt to have the pools prepared just in case our first trial has, well. Less than optimal results." McGucket's hand spasmed, then squeezed his arm. The Shack fell quiet.

It was Soos who spoke first. "So, uh, does that mean that we're, uh, gonna have to carry him downstairs?"

For the first time that day, McGucket and Ford made eye contact.

"Start upstairs," McGucket said, and that was that.

The open triangular window, its stained glass now slightly warped, hung loosely on its hinges. The thin light filtering through the oncoming storm clouds cast the room in a dusky blue.

It felt crowded in a way Dipper didn't think it ever had before; with everyone crowded around him, Ford looked like he didn't have enough elbow room to apply eyedroppers of their potion to the tabs of LSD on the desk table.

Dipper wondered absently if he had done this before and figured this wasn't the right time to ask.

"There," Ford said, something like resignation in his voice. "All ready."

Stan stood over him, arms folded tight across his chest, mouth set in a thin line. Dipper wished he would crack a joke, something that would get him elbowing McGucket, trying to get him to laugh. Something that would push some of the stale air out the window.

But, of course, the task fell to Mabel. "You know," she mused, eyeing the blotter paper, "I never thought our first time doing hard drugs would be with our grunkles, an old hillbilly man, and the puppet from Tales to Tickle Your Gooseflesh."

"You've thought about us doing drugs?" They had done crazier things. Dipper didn't know why the thought set him off-balance.

"Mabel Juice doesn't hit the same as it used to, bro-bro." Mabel poked Dipper's nose and earned herself an even more scandalized scowl. She winked at Soos. "I always pretty sure Soos would be involved, though."

"My dudes, I'm pretty sure I'm honored." Soos made the puppet on his arm salute the twins, wooden teeth clacking tight. Dipper shivered on the floor beside Mabel.

The Mystery Shack attic now held only one bed, pushed up sideways against the far wall. Dipper stared at the scuffs on the floor and felt a familiar weight under his sternum.

"I g–" Dipper cleared his throat. "I guess this is the best place for it, right? Um, with sober people around. Like. even if this was a normal– I mean, obviously this isn't going to be a normal trip, but I've, uh, read that before. Somewhere." He popped a knuckle. "I forget where I read that."

He cracked another finger into the silence.

"Couldn't have said it better myself, kid." Stan set a heavy hand on Dipper's shoulder. "Me an' Sixer are gonna be the best babysitters ever while you and your sister trip all the way into dreamworld." He wiggled his fingers as he said it. "Couldn't be safer than if you got these drugs from Uncle Sam himself!"

Dipper snorted. "Those MKUltra losers wish they could use LSD this effectively." He grinned at Stan. Stan grinned back.

Bolstered, Dipper adjusted his had and said, with something like bravado, "I'm all set. Any other preparations required before we start?"

"Go use the bathroom one more time."

"Oh my god, Grunkle Ford." Dipper rolled his eyes so hard it strained. "Our bladders are empty. If Mabel thinks she's gonna piss herself on the rug next to me, she can– um."

Mabel was staring at her fingers.

"Mabel." He gently bumped her with his shoulder. He looked to Soos, who was looking at Stan. "Maybe I'll pee one more time," Mabel said, thoughtfully.

Sucking his cheek, Stan said softly, "Sweetpea, you okay? You holding up?" Her eyebrows lifted, but her eyes didn't widen. "Me? Oh yeah, Mabel's floating through on cloud nine. I'm just thinking."

"Enlighten us," Dipper deadpanned overtop Ford's concerned "What's upsetting you, Mabel?"

"Not upset! Just thinking." Mabel opened her mouth as if to speak and stopped herself, giving instead a little breathless giggle. She chewed on her lip. Then, she said, "It would be super fun if we all went in together, though, right? Like last time."

Dippers eyebrows furrowed.

It felt, now, as if all the air had been sucked out of the attic. Not even the window hinges creaked. Dipper's mind swirled as he tried to catch up to Mabel's train of thought– last time? Does she mean when we chased Gideon into Stan's mind? Does she mean fucking Weirdmageddon? Why would she want– but the way his grunkles were making faces at each other distracted him just enough that he was left stumbling beside the railroad tracks until someone else spoke.

Stan was rubbing his neck so hard Dipper could see it start to turn red. "Sweetie, we– we talked about it, but–"

"It's risky enough as is."

Ford's shoulders jumped when McGucket spoke, as if he had forgotten he was there.

"Sendin' two a' you kids in together," he said, quietly. "It's not a stable connection. There's already a chance you'll lose one another."

"The dreamscape is different, now, Mabel." Ford almost sounded like he was pleading, pleading with her to understand that which he had already explained to Dipper and that which Dipper had neglected to pass on to his sister. It might not have mattered, though, because she was already nodding and waving him off as he tried to explain. "The fact of the matter is–"

"The fact." McGucket held up a scarred hand, but his voice lost its edge as he continued. "A' the matter is that we don't know what we're sendin' you into, kiddies. We just don't know. We can guess, based offa' what we used to know, and what we think should happen. But we don't know. And we're not goin' in with you."

"I know," Mabel said. Dipper couldn't place the emotion.

"But we wouldn't send either of you off alone." McGucket's smile was scared, sad, but genuinely warm. "You understand? We can't go with you, but we wouldn't ever send you alone."

"I know," Mabel said again. With a heavy sigh, she made her way to the rug, walking in a single circle before sitting down on it, like a dog. "Let's start," she said.

Dipper followed.

"You'd think the universe would get sick of this old formula at some point, right?" He mumbled into her ear as he sat down.

She raised an eyebrow.

"You know." He grinned. "Us against the world."

A slow smile bloomed across Mabel's face until she was smiling wider than Dipper was. "Not 'til we do."

They bumped fists and prepared to take tabs of contaminated LSD on their tongues like a sacrament. The clouds rolled in the sky outside the open triangle window, and the breeze that was blown in smelled like rain. Soos, puppet still on his arm, carefully reached over the bed to close and lock it. The body in the bed didn't stir.

"I'm going to count backwards from ten," Ford said softly as rain began pattering against the stained glass. "Ten, your eyes close. They feel heavy."

Dipper leaned his head back against the bed frame. Ford's voice was already slipping in and out of his ears like a glob of soap sliding down the side of the sink, and the last physical sensation he could recognize before the colors behind his eyes grew too loud was Mabel slipping her arm into his. His heartbeat stung, beating out a sewing-machine-rhythm that he could feel in his feet. The quickly-shrinking portion of Dipper's brain that still retained his internal dialogue began reciting times tables to slow his breathing and thanked its lucky stars that Dipper had put in the time to make and memorize a step-by-step procedure for how to visualize his way into his friend's coma.

There wasn't much of that he could access, not now that his brain had turned into green slime and was dripping out of his nose and onto his shirt, onto the little floor rug, onto the scuffs on the wooden floor from moving beds around, but he screwed his eyes tight and opened up the control panel in the little, miniature Dipper that had been hiding inside of the brain-slime. Brain Dipper reached his hands out to grip onto the thought of the one thing he needed to get himself and his sister out of this acid trip, their goalpost, their princess trapped in the tower, their ticket to the light at the end of the tunnel.

Emerson. That homeless asshole, lying half-dead in his bed. Fucker, Dipper said to him. It echoed inside the empty observatory of his skull.

#writing #stay weird #frustrated with my wroitin roight naew… but it’s finished!#so that’s that #writing is a hard hobby to have when you have limited time…#like. to improve. to get better #yet still shall I continue #may we all continue!

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sorryjustafangirl · 3 years ago

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cookie disaster

a/n: this has snippets of a conversation that me and @tysonjost-taylorsversion had in APRIL so suffice to say it's been in my head for a while. i think this one is adorable and i hope you all enjoy it! this one only has one mention of christmas so it's not necessarily holiday themed but not purely winter either

pairing: tyson jost x gn!reader

word count: 2.1k+

warnings: absolutely nothing i can think of :)

disclaimer: once again, this is a piece of fiction including a real person, please don't read if you're uncomfortable with that. also! this great gif is not mine, all credit to the fantabolous artist

Tyson and you were sitting on your couch watching the recaps of the Islanders game, your head in his lap and his fingers aimlessly tracing patterns on your shoulder. His phone dinged and his hand momentarily moved from you.

“Do you want to go out for lunch on Saturday? Bednar just cancelled practice,”

“Can’t. I’m having my nieces and nephews over, remember?”

“Right, for cookie decorating.” Out of the corner of your eye you saw him nod and stayed silent for a little bit before piping up again. “Maybe I could join you guys?”

“You want to be around four kids under ten?” You turned your head to look at him and he smiled down at you, brushing a stray hair out of your face.

“Well, you’ll be there too. And I’m sure you wouldn’t mind the extra help with them all,” You hummed and you nodded at him.

“Sure, okay. I’d like that."

“It’s a date, then,”

“A date with my siblings’ kids?”

“All we need for a date is you and me, spending time together. So yes, Saturday is a date.” He pressed a kiss to the back of your hand and you playfully rolled your eyes but nevertheless squeezed his hand.

---

Saturday came and you were frantic. You were dividing all the various cookies you had made last night, making sure everyone would get the same number to decorate or else, you'd have two and a half meltdowns you didn't want to deal with.

"It’s open!" You yelled from the kitchen when Tyson knocked on the door. He had texted you when he was on his way over, and you had sent him to the store to pick up a few last minute details you needed.

"Hi baby," He pressed a quick kiss to your cheek, admiring all the cookies you'd made. There were gingerbread people, trees, stars, some candy canes, and even a few reindeer. He dropped the grocery bag on the dining room table and spread its contents out. "I picked up sprinkles, although you didn't tell me which kind, so I just got a bunch. I hope that's okay?" You picked up the plates of cookies, placing them at each place setting for your nieces and nephews.

"You're a life-saver, Tys, thank you," You admired the table in front of you with its assortment of coloured icing, sprinkles, candies, and of course, a table cloth for the mess that would ultimately be made. Even without Tyson, you'd still need the tablecloth.

The doorbell rang and you rushed over to see your sister. Your oldest nephew, Liam, rushed into your apartment with a quick hello to you and bye to his mom. Liv, your youngest niece, was only four and one of the shyest kids you'd met. With some trouble, she went into the living room with her brother.

"Thanks again, Y/n,"

"It's no problem, you know I love them. I'll see you in a few hours," She waved bye to her kids and they yelled bye from the couch. Just as your sister left, your brother appeared in your doorway, his two kids trailing behind him in tow. Gabby, the oldest of them all at eight, was holding her little brother's, Evan’s, hand who quickly broke out of her grasp and rushed past you and into your apartment. You knew he'd found Liam and Tyson by their echoing laughter. You said goodbye to your brother, reminding him they'd be done before dinner.

You closed the door, walking back to the living room, where everyone was sitting. Tyson sat in the armchair because the kids took up the whole couch. You walked up beside Tyson, your hand resting on the back of his neck.

"Everyone, this is Tyson and he’s going to hang out with us today,"

"Is he your boyfriend?" Gabby teased, earning a chuckle from you and Tyson.

"Yes, he's my boyfriend. Are you guys ready to decorate some cookies?" They all screamed yes's and you told them to go wash their hands before they started. Gabby rushed off to the bathroom while Liam and Evan went to the kitchen sink.

"Uh, Tys, could you just get the music set up from my phone? It won't connect. I'm going to take Liv to wash her hands in the ensuite. Oh, and could you get the kid-safe butter knives from the cabinet? They should be in a labelled box but they could also be-"

"Why don't I take Liv to wash our hands and you can find the knives? And we can just turn on the radio," He proposed, walking over to Liv and crouching down beside her. "What do you say Liv, should we go wash our hands?" It took a moment before she nodded her head and grabbed onto his hand. Your heart melted as you watched the two of them walk away, your boyfriend quietly talking with her. The rest of the kids finished washing their hands, and you found the dull knives, putting one in each colour of icing that was on the table. Tyson and Liv came back to the table just as you turned on the radio. You sat at the end of the table, and Gabby sat at the other one. Evan and Liam were sitting next to each other, rapidly talking about some new video game and Tyson sat between you and Liv.

"And go," You joked, but quickly, they all grabbed one of their cookies and a colour to start decorating. Gabby and Liam were pretty self-sufficient on their own, and even if they weren't, they weren’t going to admit they needed your help. You turned to Evan and helped him with the sprinkles so he didn't spill them all over the table.

"But Tyson did his own," He complained.

"Tyson is an adult, buddy. He can do it without making a mess," You carefully tapped the excess sprinkles into a bowl and placed the finished cookie back on his plate.

"But he did make a mess!" You quickly looked to see your boyfriend trying to be discreet about cleaning up the holiday sprinkles he spilled all over the table. The shape of his cookie was unrecognizable under the amount of icing and sprinkles he'd put on it and you had to laugh a little.

"I didn't think they’d come out that fast!" You could only shake your head and focus on your own cookie. From across the table, Gabby was telling you about how her Christmas musical at school went and out of the corner of your eye you noticed Tyson leaning down to hear Liv, listening to her talk. He nodded along and he continued to help her decorate her cookie. You smiled; the last time you saw Liv, it had taken her almost four hours before she felt comfortable talking to you by herself. But here Tyson was, less than an hour, and he was already having his ear talked off.

“Tyson, why is your cookie man purple?” Liv asked, her eyes peering over at his cookie. He stopped his movements and slowly turned his head towards you.

“...It’s purple?” You nodded, suppressing a laugh at his stunned face. “Well… maybe I just really like purple, so I thought why not?” He said. She seemed to buy his answer and he glanced over at you, wincing a little at his mistake but he smiled along with you. You turned back to your own cookie, a candy candy you were decorating with red and white icing to make stripes.

“Hey! My cookie!” Liv’s voice broke you out of your concentration and you looked up to see Liam settling back into his chair, a new cookie in his hand. Her tiny eyes started to fill tears and her bottom lip started to wobble. You sighed, putting your knife down and getting ready for a meltdown from your youngest niece.

“Hey, no, don’t cry. Look, you can have my cookie!” Tyson said, holding out the same cookie shape Liam had taken. She looked up at him, tears threatening to fall, and then back at the cookie. Slowly, she reached for it and Tyson brought it closer to her so she wouldn’t have to reach so far. She grabbed onto it and pointed to the bowl of white icing, which he happily grabbed for her. The tears wobbling on her eyelids were blinked away and she was smiling already. Your heart melted like ice in the sun as your boyfriend somehow prevented an entire temper tantrum with just a smile and a cookie.

The kitchen table was a mess by the time everyone had finished but it was well worth it to see them all laughing and having a good time. Evan came towards you with his sticky fingers and you shrieked, telling him to go wash his hands. He laughed and went to the bathroom. Tyson came over to you, getting pretty close before you noticed the red icing on his fingers.

"No, no, no. Go wash your hands too," You laughed but he kept coming closer. You waited until he was just within reach before darting around the island. The kids laughed as Tyson chased you around, occasionally trying to trick you by going the other way. It wasn't until Liam showed up in front of you with his own sticky fingers that you got caught. They both advanced towards you, trapping you in the corner.

"Go wash your hands bud," Tyson chuckled, calling off their attack. Liam rolled his eyes but walked off. Tyson slowly lifted one of his hands and spread a small bit of red icing over your cheek, but quickly gave you a kiss to wipe it off. You gave him a proper kiss before mumbling he had to wash his hands too.

Someone knocked at your door and you opened it to see both of your siblings. You called for the kids to get their jackets and cookies. Within minutes, you’d sent Gabby and Evan on their way, and chatted with your sister as Liam and Liv took longer to get ready.

“Bye Tyson,” You heard Liv say, turning around to see her giving his leg a hug. Tyson laughed heartily before bending down so he could give her a proper hug. The size difference between the two of them melted your heart for the umpteenth time that day. She came over to say bye to you and see her Mom, Tyson escaping back into the kitchen and away from your eyesight.

You said goodbye to your family and shut the door, deeply exhaling. You walked back to the main room, ready to clean up when you saw Tyson and stopped in your tracks.

“Don’t tell Nate,” He mumbled with a cookie in his mouth, green icing smeared on either side of his lips. You laughed and came over to him, cupping his face in your hands and gave him a quick kiss. He easily deepened it, and you could taste the sweetness from the icing and sprinkles on his lips. You felt some icing transfer onto your cheek and you broke away, smiling at him.

His thumb softly wiped it away and he just gave you one of those soft, goofy smiles that you’d found were reserved just for you. You ran a hand through his messy curls and he sighed in content.

“Thanks again for coming. They all loved you,”

“They’re all great. I had a blast,”

“You were so good with Liv,”

“You really think so?” He looked at you with a slight pout and puppy-dog eyes.

You nodded. “You’ll be a good dad,”

It wasn’t until the words were out of your mouth and a silence followed that you realized what you had said. You and Tyson hadn’t been dating that long, and yet you’re bringing up parenthood. It was just the way Liv had nestled into him at the table, how cute he looked sitting with your nephews talking about their hockey teams, the way he let Gabby and Liam be independent but helped them the moment they needed it. It was hard not to think about kids with him when he had been like that all day. He must’ve noticed you were getting in your head because he gripped your wrist, letting it fall from his head and intertwined your fingers.

“I’ll only be good because you’ll be there too,” You squeezed his hand and he gathered you into his arms, holding you against him.

“We’ll make a good family,” You muttered into his neck. He slightly pulled away, pushing a stray hair out of your eyes.

“We already are a family. But you know, down the road, I wouldn’t mind a few kiddos, maybe a dog. No, definitely a dog.” His body shook as he laughed, continuing to describe your future together. The two of you stood embraced in your kitchen, the radio playing in the background, and nothing could break your bubble of happiness that’d come from a little bit of sugar, some sprinkles, and one Tyson Jost.

holiday taglist (join here): @laurenairay @barzysandhughesbaby @jizzyhughes @tysonjost-taylorsversion @jostyriggslover96 @janeydeaux @tanninetanya @whoeverineedtobe @stars-canucks

regular taglist (join here): @heatherawoowoo @4ambagelbites @tysonjost-taylorsversion @2manytabsopen @stars-canucks @lorrmorr @fallinallincurls

#tyson jost #tyson jost imagine #tyson jost fic #nhl imagine #nhl fic #nhl x reader #colorado avalanche imagine #hockey imagine #abby's christmas vacation #abby writes

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originalwinnercheesecake · 3 years ago

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Ideas for continuing shorts/a show based on Encanto

Okay so Encanto came out and it is doing really really well, like a lot of people are calling it the best thing Disney has done in very long time... so naturally Disney wants to turn it into a whole franchise. Once upon a time that would have just meant at least 2 sequel movies and a ton of dolls/cloths. Well they are selling the dolls/cloths, and we may some day get the sequels. But in the age of streaming and Disneyplus there is talk of Disney first doing a series of shorts or possibly even a show. I love both those ideas and here is some what I would like to see.

The creators tweeted that Casita has only 1 bathroom and all 12 Madrigal fight over time in it. Make a short on that.

They also said that Felix and Agustin are good friends and, since they have no powers, are basically SAHD' as well as doing the majority of the house work. Give me a day in their life.

I want flashbacks to when the triplets were growing up and what things were like back when it was just them and Alma inside Casita. On that note it occurs to me that their next birthday will be the first one all three have celebrated toghter in atleast 10 years, and I NEED everybody in the family (cough* the town*cough) to make a big deal out of that.

Show me Bruno trying to get to know his nieces and nephews. I want them to all watch/perform his telanovas together and bond. Also my personal headcannon is that 7foot rat-man Bruno was like Camilo's favorite piece of fanfiction, and Bruno gets worried that maybe Camilo won't like the real him. But once Camilo finds out his Uncle is a performer, and a card, he, much to Pepa's dread, starts to freaking worship him and always wants to be around him.

I would like some flashbacks and a bit more background as to what Alma and Pedro's relationship was like. Maybe have it be their anniversary or Pedro's birthday, and Alma is really reminesant over him. Her family get worried she is falling back into depression, so they ask her to tell them about some of her happiest times with Pedro, and them try to recreate them for her.

Okay so I would prefer if shorts where used to flesh out characters who got less screen time in the movie ( Agustine, Camilo, Dolores, etc) and don't want Mirabel to be the main focus of them all...but we'll I think its cool that she loves and is really good at embroidery and sewing. Since the movie didn't really give focus to these hobbies I would like a short or an episode of her wanting to make something really special and getting a case of artist block. Have her relatives do a bunch of things with her to try and help her get inspired. The girl deserves to get some support as opposed to always being the one to give it.

I want Luisa to adopt pets, either rescue a bag of abandoned kittens ,or maybe one of the donkeys she takes care of gives birth to a runt the rancher doesn't want and is planing to get rid of. But Luisa steps in and says she wants it. Have Luisa try to train them and make them really strong, but for them to get tired and decide to rest. Luisa gives in and just curls up with them for a break.

It's like the 5th rainy day this week, and everybody is stuck inside and acting really board. Camilo tries to start a house wide prank war to keep everybody (including Casita) entertained. Shenanigans ensure.

Flesh out Dolores and Mariono's relationship (no babies yet). They are implied to be each others true loves, but what is them dating like? Does Dolores help him with his poetry? What are her interests? Maybe do something where a big milestone is coming up and it seems like Mariano doesn't have anything planed so Dolores decides she will plan a special date. But it turns out Mariano did plan something for that evening, he just been nonverbal about it so he could surprise her, and they wind up surprising each other.

Antonio discovering uses for his powers. It occurs to me that he would understand pets. Someone suggested that dead goldfish lady might be Felix's bio sister; they look kind of alike and she is one of the few villagers who makes casual visits (not just for a party) to Casita. What if while babysitting him she mentions having a new fish that she is worried isn't acting well, so he sticks his finger in the water to bring the fish to the surface and asks it what it needs. Later the pair are shown infront if a brand new pond in her backyard that is full of goldfish, with Antonio telling her they are all very happy. Off in the distance you see a line of people and their pets wanting to see Antonio and ask if their is anything they could do better.

I know some people like to headcannon Isabela as lesbian. I am not going to give people grief for that as long as they acknowledge that is a headcannon, and in cannon she had other, still completely valid, reasons for not wanting to marry Mariano (not being in love with him, not having explored enough of herself and her power yet). I also do think the decision to leave Bubo (her true love) out from the first movie, and having her make decisions based on herself was a good one. But the Bubo in drawings and the deleted scene (well part of the deleted scene, I could do without the more explicitly part) seems like a really funny character, and I would like him to be introduced as long as it was done in a way that didn't impend on Isabela's growth or self discovery. He is clearly supposed to be knowledgeable when it comes to the jungle. Maybe she is having trouble caring for all her new plants, and Dolores hears Bubo wandering around the jungle studying plants, just outside the Encanto. So Lusia and Mirabel go get him and ask him to teach Isabela about the different types of plant needs.

Might be controversial but I would really love a short where the Madrigals are getting ready for/ celebrating traditional Columbia Catholic holidays. Yes they are confirmed to be Catholic.

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hyvcklvr · 3 years ago

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Babysitting (f)

Title: Babysitting Genre: fluff, boyfriend!Johnny Pairing: Johnny Suh x female!reader -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "This feels nice." Johnny said, as you put your head on his shoulder and snuggled close to him while you two were watching a movie. "It certainly makes up for all the time we didn't spend together. We've both been working crazy all week." "Mhm, but today is all about us. I have you all to myself-" As Johnny spoke, the doorbell rang. You got up from the couch and opened the door, to be met with your sister and her kids. "Hey sis, what's up. You didn't inform you were coming." You said, surprised by her sudden visit. "That's because I wasn't planning to. I got a sudden call from work and I have to rush. Can you please, please look after my kids?" Your sister pleaded, and you looked at Johnny and then looked back at her. "You should've informed me earlier.." You mumbled." "I didn't have time. Sorry. Here you go." She said, handing you a huge bag which contained the kids' extra clothes, medicine, and other needs. "Be good to aunty okay? I'll be back by 5." Your sister quickly thanked you and left, leaving you with your nephew and niece. "Johnny....." "Hey, its alright. I love kids! They're so cute." You smiled at your boyfriend's considerate behavior, and picked up your nephew and niece in your arms, carefully seating them on the couch. "Well hello there." Johnny smiled at the kids and waved at them. "What are your names?" "I'm Eunbi! I'm this many!" Your niece excitedly said, holding up 4 fingers, indicating that she's four years old. "I'm.. I'm Minjun." Your nephew shyly said, looking down. "And how old are you?" Johnny asked. Minjun quietly held up 4 fingers. "Oh they're twins? No wonder they look alike." Johnny said, looking up at you. You looked through the stuff your sister had packed for Minjun and Eunbi, and a list she had written. "Okay then, first order of business, we have to feed the kids." So while you were preparing food for them, Johnny was playing with the kids. "Kids! Food is ready." You said soon, and Eunbi said, "But aunty! I was just about to make the soldier kill the monster! The monster is uncle Johnny." She whispered the last part, and you laughed. "You can play after eating okay?" Feeding the kids was a tough job. Minjun ate everything, but Eunbi was a bit picky. "Alright then, I guess I'll have to eat the rest of the vegetables and have amazing skin and become strong and tall." Johnny said, making an innocent face as he brought the spoon near his lips. "nO! It's my food." Eunbi said, grabbing the spoon and putting it into her mouth. You looked at Johnny, impressed at how good he is with kids. After feeding and cleaning up, Johnny played with them a bit more. Before you knew it, it was 5 p.m. The kids, tired by how much they played had gone to sleep by then. The doorbell rang and your sister came to pick the kids up. "Minjun, Eunbi, wake up, Mommy's here." "Thanks for taking care of them. It was a little future practice for both of you." Your sister winked at you. Both you and Johnny got flustered by the sudden comment, and your sister laughed. Eunbi ran up to Johnny and hugged him. "Thank you uncle! It was amazing playing with you." "Hm looks like your forgot about me." You said, pouting a little. "No aunty, you were great too." Minjun said politely. "Yo your kids are real mature sometimes." Johnny said, amused by Minjun's politeness. The kids left with your sister and you and Johnny sat on the couch. You let out a sigh and said, "Well it wasn't the day we planned but... it was pretty fun." You said and Johnny nodded. "Y/n..." Johnny started, moving closer to you and wrapping his arms around you. "One day we'll get married and have kids too, okay?" You smiled at Johnny's adorable desire and nodded. You two spent the rest of the evening enjoying each other's presence and talking about the future both of you had in front of you. You could ask for nothing more. a/n: Hi guys! I had a tough day

yesterday, which drained me of all my ideas lol. I'll probably update once more today, so look forward to it! Requests are open, like and follow <3 tyyyy

#Johnny #nct #nct 127 #Johnny nct #Johnny nct 127 #nct fluff #nct u #nct 127 fluff #Johnny suh #Johnny fluff #Johnny nct fluff #nct x reader #fluff #Johnny Suh x reader #idol x reader #johnny x reader #nct 127 x reader

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scapegrace74-blog · 3 years ago

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Love Stained, Chapter 7

A/N Thank you to everyone for all your wonderful comments, likes, reblogs and the like. It’s made a pretty rough spring a lot more bearable. With only three chapters left in this story, it’s time to start pulling all the pieces together. In this chapter, we learn quite a bit about what sent Jamie down the path to surrogacy. It’s also pretty explicit (by my standards, at least). Trigger warning for references to past sexual assault.

All previously posted chapters can be found on my AO3 page.

Lallybroch folded itself around him as it did each time Jamie visited home. No-one greeted his arrival, so he followed his nose to the kitchen where the heady aroma of yeast and bay leaves hinted at the stew Jenny would be serving for supper.

He halted in the doorway. His sister leaned over the Agga stove, his niece Maggie balanced expertly over her left hip. Nearby, his nephew and namesake played with a wooden train set on the floor. The mental shutter in Jamie’s mind snapped closed, freezing the image in his memory.

The bags below Jenny’s eyes and noticeable thickening of her waist brought on by motherhood couldn’t tarnish her beauty. Her hair was still sleek as a raven’s wing, her piercing eyes just as bright as she turned towards him.

“There ye are,” she greeted. “I was beginning to think ye’d gone missing and Ian would have to put up posters asking after ye, like a stray dog.”

Jamie took his sister’s chiding in stride, having been its primary target for as long as he could remember. Jenny nagged, therefore she loved, and there was nothing to be done about it.

“I’ve been workin’ on a new series. Ye ken how it is.”

“Has John got ye a new show, then?” she inquired as she turned back to the massive saucepot.

Jamie dodged a deftly wielded wooden spoon to filch a dinner roll still hot from the oven before answering with his mouth half-full.

“No’ yet, but he seems confident.” He paused to finish chewing, knowing he was about to open Pandora’s box. “He’s even talking to a gallery in Chelsea.”

Jenny swung around from where she’d been placing an extra setting at the table.

“Chelsea in London?”

“No. No’ London. New York.”

Needing a diversion and not above using his nephew as a human shield from his sister’s ire, Jamie bent down and lifted Wee Jamie into his arms. The tow-headed lad smelled of baby shampoo and Abernethy biscuits, plunging his uncle into a warm bath of nostalgia.

Jenny was atypically silent. Jamie avoided her scrutiny by engaging in toddler jabber.

“Ye look good with a bairn in yer arms.”

When they came, Jenny’s words were deceptively calm. Jamie wasn’t fooled, though.

“Aye, well, ye and Ian make verra cute weans.”

His sister released a long-suffering sigh.

“I worry for ye, mo bhràthair. I ken ye think me an auld nag, but I’m yer only family.”

When it came to instruments of guilt, Jenny tended to prefer a blunt hammer to a sharp blade, but it didn’t mean she wasn’t capable of twisting the knife from time to time.

“Janet…” he began.

“I hear stories, Jamie,” she continued, suddenly unable to meet his eye. “About ye. And women.”

“What kind of stories?” He tried to remain calm while his mind spun, imagining how word of his career as a sexual surrogate could have reached his sister’s ears at Lallybroch.

“How ye go home wi’ a lass every weekend, but ne’er the same one twice. At first, I was relieved, to own the truth. I saw how things were when ye came home from Paris, and I thought, well, at least he’s still able to… well, I dinna want to dwell on yer conquests, but I was happy ye’d come so far.”

Jamie felt an icy wash of dread spread just beneath his skin, fingers and lips prickling with adrenaline. With deliberate care, he lowered Wee Jamie to the floor, lest he drop him.

“And I suppose I reckoned,” his sister continued, heedless of the inrush of his terror, “that ye’d eventually find a woman who’d help ye put that terrible time behind you. But it’s been nigh on four years, mo Seamus, and now to hear ye talk of running away to New York…”

“I wouldna be running away!” Jamie lashed out, the fear of being found out and the horror of his memories fusing into anger. “New York is the centre of the world for photography. If I went, I would have hoped ye’d have been proud of me, Janet.”

Jenny sighed and turned towards him at last, her lashes wet with tears she wouldn’t allow to fall.

“I already am proud of you, brother. I’m proud of yer work as an artist. I’m proud of yer kindness and strength, and that ye dinna believe one diminishes the other. And I’m proud of how ye moved past the horrible things tha’ woman did to ye and pulled your life back together piece by piece. So if it’s my pride ye’re looking for in America, ye needn’t go, for ye already have it.”

Jamie took a deep breath to calm himself down. A mantle clock ticked loudly in the sitting room, and he tried to match his heartbeat to it.

“And I thank ye for it. Truly. And we may be making much of naught, for I havena even decided if I’ll go.”

“And the women?” his sister persisted, now that the fire of Jamie’s anger was smored.

“There are no women, Janet.” At her incredulous look, he amended, “No’ recently. I dinna ken what tales Rupert has been telling ye, but I havena brought a lass home for the night for nigh on a year.”

He was walking a fine line with his carefully chosen words. It was true he hadn’t taken anyone back to his studio. Not ever, and certainly never to sleep. As for the times spent in various bedrooms and hotels across the capital, first in a self-led rehabilitation and later as a paid professional, he could only pray his sister never learned of them.

“Do ye still have the flashbacks, then?” Jenny asked with careful tenderness.

Jamie had no memory of his family finding him nearly catatonic in a Parisian hospital with a shattered hand and ligature marks. It was Jenny who called the local police to investigate the violation he had clearly suffered. A venerable gendarme with walrus whiskers stood beside his bed and jotted down his one-word answers on a memo pad. As Jamie named his assailant the man commented on his size and brawn, rolled his eyes and muttered something rude in French under his breath about kinky sex clubs. It was the last time Jamie spoke to a stranger about his assault.

Once his physical injuries healed, the trip back to Scotland to convalesce was a watery collage of images and feeling. Lying in his bed at Lallybroch, he would wake at night in a cold sweat, fingernails scratching at phantom bonds around his wrists and neck. Nearly delirious with remembered terror, it would take minutes for the familiar shapes and smells of his childhood bedroom to drag his mind back from memory and into the present. By that time, he’d usually woken the house with his screams.

Jenny wasn’t wrong, although her timing was a bit off. There had been a different woman every weekend. Sometimes two. The first time he went home with a lass after returning from Paris, he’d cowered in her bathroom before bolting for the door. The next weekend, he made it no further than taking off his shoes. But little by little, step by step, Jamie had rebuilt his confidence. When he finally consummated a one-night stand, he’d burst into tears afterwards.

Within a year, his sex life was fully recovered. The lessons he had learned through his journey would soon be applied to helping others like him whose minds took longer to heal than their bodies. There was only one act, one fundamental thing that he could not and would not ever allow himself to do. Jamie wouldn’t let himself fall asleep next to a lover. As quickly as possible without causing offence, he would dispose of the condom, don his clothes and make his way home. When the ghosts of his past found him, he was always alone.

“Aye,” he answered his sister at last. “Every single night.”

***

The August sun was well into its long slide towards the horizon when Jamie pulled up to the bothy. Metallic light bathed the peaks of the dunes while their hollows filled with puddles of shadows.

Slinging his Nikon over his shoulder, he hastened not towards the beckoning landscape, but to the weathered door which opened as he approached. Claire had clearly been waiting for him.

“You brought your camera!” she exclaimed before he’d even breached the threshold. “You should head out now, before it gets dark.”

In all of his interactions with clients – literally dozens of women – never once had one of them taken his preferences into consideration. Jamie had learned not to begrudge them their selfishness, since they were paying him to focus on their needs, not his own wishes. It was such an unfamiliar situation, it took him a moment to decide how to react to it.

“That’s verra kind of ye, lass, but yer appointment starts shortly.”

“There’s nothing saying we can’t delay by thirty minutes or so, is there? It really is a lovely evening. Unless you have, err, other commitments, of course. I’m sorry. You must… That is, I’m sure there’s someone waiting on you for dinner, or, well… nevermind…”

Twin tea-stains blossomed on her porcelain cheeks as she nervously prattled on.

“Claire,” he finally interrupted with a rueful laugh. “Do you truly think I’d work as a sex surrogate if I had a wife or a girlfriend at home?”

Pretty lips pleated in a sheepish frown as she shrugged.

“Yer sure ye dinna mind?”

With Claire’s blessing, Jamie emerged into tangerine light, following a faint path between the tufts of marram. The sandy slopes were fletched with concavities, each its own dune in miniature, a glimpse through nature’s infinite repetitions. Ignoring the grander scenes around him, Jamie crouched low and focused on an abstract composition of light and shadow.

As he rose to stretch his back, he was struck with the unmistakable sensation of being observed. Turning towards the bothy, he could make out Claire’s silhouette through the shore-facing windows. Neither of them moved, saved for the wind playing havoc with his curls.

The urge to adventure further towards the sea diminished abruptly. He should really return to his client, who was being more than accommodating of his artistic whims. It was the professional thing to do.

By the time he returned indoors, shaking sand from the bottom of his trousers, Claire was nowhere to be seen. The door to the bothy’s only other room stood ajar. His fingertips tingled as he approached, his nerves sensing the lightning bolt before it even cleaved the air.

Limbs, pale and luminous as aspen. A cascade of rippling curls catching the dying light of the sun, by turns tannin dark and silvered as a burn in spate. The tender flute of her torso, perfect teardrop breasts crowned by crenelated nipples. And deep in the notch of her legs a smudge the colour of ripened berries, his mouth salivating in anticipation of the tart sweetness.

He yearned to crawl into her branches and sleep for a thousand years.

“Claire.” An awestruck whisper, like he’d come across some sylvan sprite he didn’t wish to scare away.

“I’m ready, Alex. I want you to make love to me.”

The words were bold, no hesitation before they leapt from her mouth to echo endlessly in his ears. Were it not for the nervous shudder shimmering over her skin like starlight, he might have accepted her assertion and let his impulses rule the day.

“Are ye certain, lass? It’s a very big step,” he counselled.

“I am. You’ve been so kind, Alex. Unbelievably patient and… I trust you.” She paused as though hit by the truth of her words for the first time. “I trust you,” she repeated with emphasis.

Hearing her sincerity, Jamie still silently vowed to take his time and ensure that her faith was not misplaced.

“Is it alright if I undress?”

“Be at bit inconvenient if you didn’t,” she teased, mirth illuminating her predator’s eyes.

Grunting his amusement, Jamie disrobed down to his briefs. He lay down next to Claire, balancing on the very edge of the mattress to ensure any contact was initiated by his client.

“Where would ye like to start, mo nighean donn?” At her helpless shrug, he tried a different tack. “What is your body asking for?”

“I… I… I don’t bloody know!” she cursed in frustration. He could read the conflict on every surface of her body. Pupils dilated, focus scattered. Chest flushed, but arms crossed defensively. Even her pretty quim hid now behind scissored legs.

“Do ye want to stop?”

“No! Definitely not. I just… need to learn to not be afraid of asking for what I want.”

Jamie nodded in approval, but otherwise waited in stillness while she sorted herself out. Their breathing synchronized and little by little, the tension in Claire’s body drained away.

“I liked your lips on me. Before,” she suggested at last.

“Anywhere in particular?”

“Everywhere,” she breathed.

Starting at her mouth, he pressed tender divots into Claire’s skin, feasting on its softness and warmth. Her body slowly unfurled, opening like petals to the burning heat he could feel growing within him. Hands, so recently clenched in indecision, held his jaw and shepherded him lower. Unable to resist, his tongue lapped the musky pollen from her neck, the rounded caps of her shoulders, the fragrant valley that plunged between her breasts, all while keeping his weight from pressing down on her.

“Good?” he paused to ask, although the heaving of her breath was confirmation enough.

“More,” was the answer.

He plotted a meandering serpentine path past her ribs and over the flat expanse between her hipbones. The fleshy hillock of her pubic mound was shaved bare, a decision he suspected had more to do with her husband’s preference than her own. It did allow the scent of her arousal to pass unobstructed to his nose, making his mouth water with anticipation.

Bide yer time, man, he counselled himself, turning his attention upwards to Claire’s face.

He settled once again at her side, gratified by her plaintive mewl of displeasure and the heedless twitching of her legs.

“On a scale of one to ten, how was that?”

Claire choked out a laugh. “Oh, about a fourteen. Jesus Christ, Alex. You really know what you’re doing, don’t you?”

In truth, he’d barely gotten started. Whatever was happening in Claire’s marriage bed, it had nothing to do with a lack of ardour on her part.

Cool hands plucked at the waistband of his briefs. “Take these off.” When he didn’t immediately comply, she added, “I want to see you.”

With her scent burnt like a brand in his brain and words like those, there was going to be a lot of him to be seen. He fervently hoped the sight of his arousal wouldn’t put her off. Still, it was what she was asking for, and he would be lying if he said he wasn’t eager to display his reaction to her beauty.

He knew Claire ceased breathing when her lovely breasts no longer rose and fell. Her eyes, too, were frozen, their trajectory fixed just below his waist.

“Breathe, lass,” he joked after the silence extended a bit too long for his liking.

Speaking towards the vicinity of his navel, she quietly confessed, “Geillis suggested I purchase some, err, sex aids. As a means of getting comfortable with the shape and feel of things without an actual partner being involved. I made it into a sex shop but couldn’t bring myself to buy one. At the time, I assumed their dimensions were exaggerated…”

It wasn’t the first time a woman had complimented his cock, but the fact that Claire spoke, not to seduce or flatter, but as though to herself, made her approval ten times more meaningful.

When her hand ventured down to touch and explore, the sensation was akin to plugging into a bolt of lightning. Every follicle stood to attention; every nerve sizzled with excitement. If he wasn’t careful, he was going to make a mockery of his vaunted self-control.

Perhaps because he was concentrating on not spending all over her down-soft belly, it took Jamie a moment to realize that Claire’s face, so recently flushed with lust, was now bleached as bone. Her breath trembled like a birch leaf.

“What is it, mo nighean donn?” he asked as sanity overtook him.

Her eyes, rare as amber, lustrous as resin, viscid as pitch, held him in their thrall.

“It’s going to hurt, isn’t it?”

Whatever he had expected her to say, it wasn’t that. He took a few cleansing breaths to steady his mind. Despite his prior advice to leave the outside world, and her husband in particular, outside the walls of their small bothy, he was going to have to invoke the man’s name.

“Is that what happens, when ye lay wi’ Frank?”

Her trembling lip and silent nod punched him in the gut. Of all the craven, heartless brutes, this woman was married to their king. To think she had sought out treatment, as though it was her fault that the man didn’t know his ass from a hole in the ground when it came to pleasing his wife.

“Claire, listen to me, aye? Sex should never hurt. If it does, it means yer partner hasna prepared ye properly.”

She was listening, but he could tell from the fear in her eyes that she didn’t believe him just yet. Well, he was just going to have to prove it to her.

“With yer permission, I’d like to show ye how it should be.”

She glanced down at his cock, still half-hard where it rested between their bodies.

“I don’t think I can, Alex.”

“No’ with that,” he said, holding up his left hand and fluttering his fingers. “With these.”

With soothing touches and senseless murmurs, Jamie worked Claire back to a fevered state of arousal. It was a delicate operation, like weaving with gossamer thread. Pull too hard, and the thread may break. Don’t pull hard enough, and the thread grew slack, ruining the pattern. Reading her gooseflesh and twitches like braille, the throaty gasps that acted like kerosene on the flames of his lust soon returned. When she was twisting with need, he sought her permission to proceed.

“Ready?”

An affirmative hum set him in motion. Featherlight, his fingers migrated past the plateau of her pelvis and cupped the twin cushions of her vulva. The petal-soft skin was dewy with her wanting. A groan rose up from the graveyard of his belly. Beside him, Claire looked up with eyes so wide and trusting he fought the urge to pour his beleaguered soul into their depths.

Instead, he calmed himself with the familiarity of his method.

“I’m going to tell ye what I’m about to do to ye, lass. If anything doesna sit right, just shake yer head, alright?”

“Okay,” she hissed on a rapid exhale.

“First, a wee survey of the territory.” His middle finger traced down the tulip pleats of her sex, gathering moisture as it went. Starting at the base, he coaxed her apart until the flesh beneath his touch rose to a dense hillock. Claire canted her hips skyward, nearly lifting her buttocks clear off the mattress, urging him onwards.

“Oh, I ken what ye want, lass,” he purred. “But I’ve something else in mind first.”

The sun was setting outside, dipping the bothy and everything inside in bronze light. Claire seemed to emit her own contrasting glow, silvery pale as the moon. Jamie could feel it tugging at the roaring blood in his veins.

“Just one finger to start,” he advised, pausing to ensure she wasn’t going to object. Instead, her thighs parted further, inviting him in.

Enveloped by the humid grasp of her internal walls, Jamie probed the back of her pubic bone until Claire gulped a lungful of air worthy of a freediver. With the coordinates locked in, he began a slow, twisting withdrawal followed by a solid thrust, allowing the mound of his thumb to bump against her flesh with each return.

For three or four of such journeys, Claire lay entirely still, eyes closed, her brow pleated in concentration. The warm rays of comprehension that dawned in her eyes as she opened them to gaze upon him chased away any doubts. Jamie bent to kiss the freckled bridge of her nose, a frivolous gesture that clearly delighted her.

“More?” he asked.

“God, yes.”

A second finger set off a keening cry that plummeted straight to his cock. Digging her naked heels into the mattress, Claire began to meet every thrust. A plea, a request, a demand. Each motion of her body drew the invisible string ever tighter until he could practically hear the hum brought on by its tension. By his estimation, her climax was overdue, held back by her inexperience in chasing it down.

The humid noises rising from the meeting of their bodies were nearly obscene. Claire’s lips moved without sound. Lowering his ear to catch her breathless incantation, he heard,

“PleasepleasepleaseGodpleaseGodmoreplease.”

Jamie answered her supplication by filling her completely at the same time as he bent to suckle her breast.

Claire’s back arced like she’d been electrocuted, all her muscles contorting and releasing in a frenzied symphony. What started as an animalistic growl right beneath his head rose in pitch and urgency until a crystal shriek detonated in the tiny room. Her slick walls suctioned his fingers in a way that made his cock weep with jealousy.

A woman’s reaction to achieving orgasm with her surrogate for the first time was as varied as the women themselves. Some cried. Others shrugged off the emotional weight until they were able to deal with it alone or with their therapist. A few even reacted in anger brought on by shame or guilt.

Claire burst out into peels of jolly laughter.

“Oh my god, Alex, you’re a fucking genius,” she choked out between guffaws.

Buoyed by her mood, Jamie couldn’t stop himself from making the obvious joke.

“Well, that’s kind of ye to say, mo nighean donn, but I’m forsworn to point out that twas no’ my fucking that got ye off. However,” he continued as he carefully slid his fingers from her quim and held them aloft, “should ye decide to sample the main course, ye can be certain yer quite capable of taking me wi’out pain.”

Claire ceased giggling to peer at the triad of slippery digits.

“Three?” Eyes round in disbelief and wonder.

“Aye, three. And as ye said, I’m no’ a small man.”

As though reminded of her earlier reaction, Claire glanced down his torso to where the head of his cock bobbed against his abdomen. A sticky trail of his own excitement clung to his skin, testament to the fact he’d been hard as granite since they began.

“I… ummm… I could take care of that for you. If you’d like.”

Such an innocent suggestion with utterly damning consequences. He longed to accept. Every anguished nerve in his body cried out for her touch. No-one needed to know.

But he would know. Claire Randall wasn’t his lover. He hadn’t earned the right to accept gratification by her hand, or mouth, or any other means.

“I’ll bide, lass. We should probably call it a night.”

Hurt briefly crossed her pretty features, the shadow of a cloud passing over the sun. When she smiled tremulously again, it no longer lit the diamonds in her eyes.

“I suppose I need to go home and tell Frank," she conceded.

Rising to collect his clothes and get dressed in the other room, Jamie played those last words over in a loop. For all her kindness and the unnerving connection between them, Claire was married to another man. A man whose bed she so desperately wanted to occupy, she’d overcome her natural shyness and latent fear to seek out his services. That the man was undeserving of her wasn’t in doubt, but it made no difference. Jamie had nothing to offer a woman except his pain and hardship.

Claire hadn’t emerged from the tiny bedroom by the time he was ready to leave. He didn’t want to intrude on her need for privacy, but he also couldn’t bring himself to leave without saying goodbye. She was laying naked atop the covers, fast asleep. One hand extended beside her beautiful face, a smile of tender lassitude gracing her lips. She looked like a moon goddess there in the darkening pastels of twilight.

Unable to resist, Jamie raised his camera and depressed the shutter.

There were disasters of the heart into which any sane man would walk bravely.

#my writing #fanfic #outlander

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nastybuckybarnes · 3 years ago

Text

Deep End - Five

Pairing: Dark!Steve Rogers X Reader

Summary: He’s back. After all your best efforts at getting away, he’s found you again. And this time, he’s not letting you go so easily. He’s determined to do whatever it takes to get you to be his. Forever.

Warnings: Dark Themes, Language, Angst, Manipulation, Injuries,

Word Count: 3.2K

A/n: here we are, folks. What if I ended it like this lol that would be kinda gangsta of me LMAO

Deep End Masterlist

THIS IS A DARK FIC WITH SEXUAL AND TRIGGERING CONTENT!!! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!! 18+ ONLY!!!

~*~

You push open the front door with a heavy sigh, setting the paper grocery bags down on the counter then resting a hand on your growing belly.

There’s a tiny flutter under your hand and you can’t help yourself from smiling.

The smile vanishes, however, when a hand grabs at your shoulder and forces you to turn around.

“Where the Hell were you?” Steve’s angry voice demands.

You look up at him in shock and confusion, looking over at the groceries.

“I-I just went to the store.”

He shakes his head, grabbing your face with one hand and stepping closer. You take a step back with each one he takes towards you, and soon enough he’s got you pinned against the wall.

His grip on your face tightens and you wince, fear overwhelming your body, making your heart race.

“Bucky said he saw you talking to someone. A man. Who was he?”

You shake your head, tears welling up in your eyes.

“H-He was just asking me about my pregnancy. When I'm due, if I know what I’m having.”

It’s nothing but the truth.

“I give you freedom and this is what you do? You go and flirt with other guys? You’re my property. Don’t forget that.”

Your tears fall down your cheeks and into his hand, but he doesn't let go. Even as your chest heaves and sobs bubble out of you, he stays glaring at you.

“Please, Steve, stop. Y-You’re hurting me!”

His jaw flexes and he slowly lets go, only to cage you against the wall, slamming his fist against it in the process.

Your heart hammers in your chest, terror gripping you and freezing you in place as you remember what he did to Nat and her baby.

“I-I came home, didn’t I? I could’ve asked for help! Could’ve said something, but I didn’t. I’m here, again, even though I could’ve run away. I’m here. You have me! You have me.”

You slide down the wall, knees drawn up to your chest as you sob, the reality of your words and the fear doing a number on your emotions.

Steve’s anger slowly melts away, replaced with concern as he sees nothing but terror on your face.

“I-I didn’t mean to yell, honey. It’s okay, shh, come here.”

You don’t fight him as he pulls you into his arms and brings you upstairs into your bedroom, sitting you gently on the bed and pushing your hair away from your face.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you, sweetheart I just... You gotta understand how nervous it makes me when you leave the house like that.”

You sniffle then slowly look up at him, your eyes bloodshot and tear-filled.

“Then why give me the freedom to leave?”

Your voice cracks and it makes his heart hurt.

“I... I want to trust you. That’s why.”

You take a few deep breaths, your eyes focused on your trembling hands as your heart starts to slow back to its normal rhythm.

“Ever since that night when Nat and Buck came over you’ve... you’ve been off. I’m worried about you, honey. I just wanna make sure that everything’s okay.”

He wants to know what Nat told you. What she said to have you acting like this.

Your eyes meet his, wet and full of fear as you whisper three words.

“Is it true?”

He has an idea what you’re referring to, and his heart picks up speed.

“Did...did you do it?”

He swallows hard and avoids your eyes, but that’s answer enough.

Some strange mixture of a gasp and a sob bubbles out of you, and you bring your hands up to cover your face as your shoulders start shaking again.

“I didn’t... I guess I did.” You sniffle and look up at him through your tears.

“If you want me to trust you... if you ever want any hope at having some semblance of normalcy, you’re gonna need to elaborate. I’m trying to play your little game but I just... I’m scared you’re gonna kill my baby too. That you’re gonna hurt Sarah.”

He shakes his head immediately, grabbing your hands and holding them softly in his.

“I would never hurt Sarah, or our new baby, okay? Natasha... she was becoming a liability. That being said, I didn’t go into it with the intention of hurting her baby but... I knew it could be a consequence.”

You wait for him to continue, your heart pounding loudly in your ears.

“When you burned the book... that wasn’t the only copy. Fury made sure there was at least one more, in case we ever needed it. Had his own group working on it, creating a new version of it. Natasha became a test subject long before I met you. Before I... took you.”

He drops his eyes and huffs out a sigh.

“We didn’t need to wipe her memory, we just... needed a way to make her more complacent. To make her realize that she can’t go off on her own and keep secrets like that. Especially when they involve you.”

Your chest heaves as you glare at him, your anger growing by the second.

“Did you kill her baby?”

The words are harsh like the crack of a whip, and he has to stop himself from flinching.

“It wasn’t my intention... but it was worth it.”

You choke on another sob, yanking your hands out of his grip.

“I didn’t know what the tea would do to her baby. It was just a mild sedative so we could get her to the facility and do the procedure. Get her to tell us where you were, where Sarah was. But then she... she started bleeding. I didn’t... I thought maybe it was just a side effect but then the doctors told us... (Y/n), you’ve gotta believe me. You need to know that I didn’t mean to...” he trails off and shakes his head, thinking about the niece or nephew that he could’ve had.

The son or daughter that he stripped Bucky of. The pain he inflicted upon Natasha. But he has you, so in the end, it was worth it.

You slowly look up at him, shaking your head.

“Why? You’ve done nothing but lie to me and hurt me. Why should I believe a word you’re saying?”

He swallows hard, reaching for your hand again only for you to yank it away once more.

“You want the truth? Fine. You’re not the first person that we’ve... taken. And I doubt you’ll be the last. Bucky... he had someone. Someone to help him control the soldier. But she turned out to be worse than him. We had to terminate her because she became a liability.”

He looks down at his hands, remembering how innocent she seemed. And then she snapped. Tried killing Nat and Bucky. Turned the redhead against them until Fury stepped in.

“Nat didn’t... agree with what we did. So we changed her mind.”

Your brows draw together in confusion.

He can’t mean... can he?

As if sensing your confusion, he elaborates.

“We didn’t do exactly the same procedure. But it... its function was the same. We needed her to forget certain things. To be our friend again while still remembering other things about the situation. And it worked. All I wanted to do this time was open her up to us again. Tell me where you and Sarah were. I never meant to hurt her baby.”

You shake your head furiously, tears dripping down your cheeks. “You’re a murderer. A disgusting monster. I hate you.” Your words are venomous and acidic, and Steve almost flinches at them, shaking his head.

“That’s not true, (Y/n). I love you.”

You laugh, the sound manic and for a moment Steve’s concerned.

“This isn’t love, Steve, this is obsession! It’s unhealthy! You’ve got me trapped here against my will! Y-You’ve hurt me and raped me and now I’m supposed to pretend everything’s okay? I’m supposed to play the good little housewife while you go around kidnapping and killing women? Killing other people’s children?! No!”

You stand up and try to move past him but he grabs hold of your forearm, rising to his feet with you.

“You’re not going anywhere.” His eyes are fiery as he glares at you, but you’re not nearly as afraid as you once were. No. You’re just angry.

You glare at him, rage burning through your body as you yank free from his grip and walk out of the room.

“You leave this house and I won’t hesitate to drag your ass right back!” He shouts.

But you don’t plan on leaving.

Oh no.

Why does he deserve his happy ending so much more than everyone else?

You turn to face him once you reach the top of the stairs, your heart in your throat at what you’re about to do. The damage it could cause.

At least it’ll get your point across.

“Why do you deserve a baby so much more than Natasha?” He furrows his brows, trying to figure out what your next move is going to be.

“I’ve given my life over and over for this stupid pathetic world. I’ve sacrificed my happiness time and time again. Do I not deserve something good?”

You take a deep breath and shrug.

“Maybe you do. But not like this.”

With that, you turn around and let yourself fall down the stairs.

Steve tries to grab you, he really does, but he’s just not fast enough.

He watches you fall, tumble down the stairs then lay still at the bottom, and for a moment all he can do is stare.

Memories fill his mind. Of you falling down the stairs. Then bleeding. So much blood. And your baby... gone.

He nearly falls down the stairs himself in his haste to get to you, two fingers pressing first to your pulse, then his hand is pressed against your belly, trying desperately to feel for the fluttering kicks you told him about.

It takes a minute, maybe two, and then he feels a small press against his hand.

He lets out a breath of relief then grabs his phone, calling the doctor.

~*~

When the doctor assures him that both you and the baby are okay, he’s relieved. But that only lasts for a moment before anger takes hold, powerful and persistent.

You can feel the anger rolling off of him when you wake up, and for a moment you’re afraid.

But hopefully, you got your point across.

He doesn’t deserve another baby. Not if that’s what he wants. He’s a terrible human being. And bringing a baby into the world with him as the father should be a crime.

“Where’s Sarah?” You ask, hoping to keep him as calm as possible.

“She’s having a sleepover with Morgan over at Tony and Pepper’s.”

You nod, your stomach dropping as you realize you’re alone in the house with him and he’s beyond pissed off.

Your mind races back to all the times he’s punished you in the past, and you almost throw up with the anxiety coursing through your veins.

“You ever do anything like that again and I swear I’ll make you regret it. I won’t kill you, no. My baby needs his mommy, but I’ll make you hurt. You’re lucky I’m not doing anything to you now.”

You swallow hard and look away from him in disgust, only for him to grab your jaw and force you to look at him.

“You need to stop acting out like this. I told you what happened to the last asset who became a liability. Fury shot her point-blank. A clean shot between her pretty eyes. Then he left her to bleed out on the bedroom floor while he fixed Nat’s memory. S’why she’s even still here and with Bucky. If she remembered what he did to that poor girl... she’d have killed him herself by now. But he needs to outlet to keep the soldier at bay. And he deserves her. Deserves some happiness in his fucked up life.”

You shake your head, disagreeing strongly with every word he’s spoken.

They're monsters. Natasha less so. A victim, like you, maybe. But the two soldiers? Monsters. Monsters who don’t deserve any happiness. They deserve nothing but a slow painful death and an eternity in the fiery pits of Hell.

“I told you, (Y/n), I didn’t mean to hurt her baby. If I’d wanted to, I’d be rubbing it in her face more. Showing off your pregnancy more. And if you think I’m gonna hurt our baby, you’re wrong. I would never hurt my babies. It kills me that you think I’d ever do something like that.”

“Can you blame me? You’ve already killed at least one baby.”

A muscle in his jaw ticks and you regret your words.

“You know what? I think you really need a reminder of your place, sweetheart. You’re mine. Maybe not my wife, yet, but soon enough. Until then, you need to know that you belong to me.”

His grip on your face is painful, but you don’t make a single sound.

No, he’s not going to win.

He doesn’t want to hurt the baby or cause unnecessary strain, so he can’t have you on your stomach like he usually would.

So he makes the most of you lying on your back.

He grabs your wrists and binds them above your head, hooking them to the ring on the headboard despite your struggles.

“Steve, no! Please! I-I... Don’t hurt me, please!”

He cocks his head to the side, watching you wriggle and strain.

“You’re mine, (Y/n). You belong to me. There’s no one in this entire world who’ll help you. You’re my property. It’s time you realized that.”

A sick smile spreads across his face as he remembers what made you obedient last time.

“You know, I think I know exactly what you need.”

He climbs off the bed and drops to his knees, rooting under it until he finds his special black box.

You wriggle away furiously, trying to break free before he can hurt you, but deep down you know it’s all for not.

You squeeze your eyes shut as he sits back down on the bed, worming his way between your thighs and flipping your dress up over your extended stomach.

“Please don't,” you whimper uselessly.

He strokes your inner thighs gently, then leans down to spit on your centre.

You flinch away, tears leaking from your eyes as you realize what he’s going to do.

“Please don’t,” you repeat, only to be silenced by him pushing something far too big inside of you.

You cry out, your back arching and sending shoots of pain up to your scalp. The added weight of your baby makes everything ten times more painful, and you can't stop yourself from sobbing as he forces every last inch of the thick dildo into your unprepared cunt.

It burns. Fire spreads from between your legs up your spine and the tears don’t stop.

“Stop! Please! I’ll be good!” He knows you won’t. Or, he just doesn't believe you. You want the pain to stop but you’re not actually willing to change your behaviour for it. Not yet. But you will.

When the dildo is finally fully inside you, he climbs off the bed and shoves the box back underneath it. He adjusts his pants then walks to the door, pausing to look at your trembling figure on the bed.

Your shoulders shake with sobs, and he feels pride swell inside of him.

Good. Now you’ll finally learn.

“You’re gonna stay here until you learn your place. I don’t care how long it takes. When you’re ready to apologize and be a good girl, then we’ll talk. But until then...” He shuts off the light and pulls the door closed behind him, leaving you alone, in pain, and in the dark.

Memories of the last time this happened stab at your brain, and you quickly start hyperventilating.

What’s worse than that, though, is the tiny voice in your head telling you to get off your back. That it’s not good for the baby if you stay like this.

But no matter how much you scream or cry for him, Steve doesn’t come to the door once.

~*~

He leaves you there for hours, or maybe days. It’s so hard to tell.

The room is soundproof, so no one can hear your cries and you can’t hear anything outside.

Even if people could hear you, it doesn’t really matter now.

You’ve been on your back for so long that you’re starting to get dizzy.

During your first pregnancy, you learned only that it’s bad for the baby to sleep on your back. You didn’t think you’d be feeling the effects of it, too.

But here you are, covered in a thin sheen of sweat, mind spinning and lungs struggling to pull in enough air to satisfy you.

It must’ve been several hours ago that Steve left if you’re feeling such strong effects of it. You’re not sure what the technical term is, but you know that you probably don’t have much time left. Your baby has even less.

Your heart aches. Each beat makes sadness bloom in your soul and you can’t stop it.

New tears fall down your cheeks, and all you want is to reach down and caress your belly, apologize to the life growing inside of you.

Apologize for hurting them, for who their father is. For the life you’re bringing them into.

Nobody deserves that.

But now... now you might not have to worry.

Every passing second sends the walls around you spinning faster and faster and faster until all you can do is let your eyes fall closed.

Sleeping will probably make it better anyway, right?

As the darkness creeps up, seeps into your limbs and chases the pain away, you pray.

You’ve never really prayed much before, but you do today.

You send a prayer to any and all Gods, the old ones and the new, and you ask for forgiveness.

You pray for the safety of your unborn child, and for that of Sarah.

A deep part of your brain knows that you may never open your eyes, and you want your daughter to know that you love her. That she means the world to you and you’ll do all that you can to protect her.

Thinking about Sarah brings a wave of strength seemingly out of nowhere, and for a moment you wonder if the Gods heard you. If this is them sending their aid.

You take a few deep breaths, building up as much strength as you can, and try your luck one last time.

“I’m sorry.”

Your voice isn’t nearly as loud as it should be, and the room is so thickly padded that there’s no way he can hear you.

Hopelessness floods your body and you fall into it.

Your sorrow distracts you from the darkness until it takes hold of you and pulls you down, away from the world of pain that you’ve been trapped in.

And you feel peace.

#Dark Series #dark!fic #dark!au #dark!steve #dark!fanfiction #dark!steve x reader #dark!steve rogers #dark!steve x you #dark Steve rogers #dark steve #dark steve rogers #dark steve x reader #Steve Rogers x reader dark fic #steve x reader dark fic #Steve rogers x reader dark fic

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wonlouvre · 3 years ago

Note

Hello I would like to request fluffy jeonghan and reader on a big family holiday, is it okay..? The format is up to you. Thank you and have a nice week, I really love your writing ❤

secure | y. jh.

pairing: jeonghan x g.n. reader genre: fluff warnings: alcohol drinking word count: 1.2k

💌: hey! thank you so much for sending this request. i wasn’t really sure if this is how you wanted it to go, but i hope you like it! thank you so much for loving my writing as well! i hope you have a great week ahead anon! <3

Your family’s tradition is to always have a reunion every 1st of January. It wasn’t necessarily a tradition passed down from one generation to another, but you remember when you were around eleven or twelve years old, your aunts and uncles invited everyone to a simple lunch to welcome the new year only for it to become so extravagant with so much food that it lasted until dinner.

That’s how it all started from your memory. It’s actually heartwarming that that one lunch invitation became a tradition that your family holds. It feels good to catch up and even reconcile over home made food paired with a little alcohol.

Eventually, your family got bigger with cousins getting married or having babies. Even your nieces and nephews bring their significant others, whether it be serious or not. Some are still in a relationship with their high school sweethearts while some have broken up.

You have never brought anyone special yourself though. Of course, you dated. But the relationship didn’t last for the rest of the year until next year. Your family has asked every single year if there is anyone you’re liking that they should look forward to and every time, your answer is a no or with a shrug of your shoulders. They would bring up names from time to time to pique up your interest, but that was about it.

This year, however, is different. Your family decided to go on a three-day trip. You, together with your siblings and cousins, booked a cottage with a private pool. Most of the kids have grown up and they have been begging to go swimming despite the season. Well, regardless of age, everyone would want a dip. Plus, there’s nothing to worry about when there’s technology to warm up the freezing cold water.

This year, as well, you’re bringing Jeonghan along with you.

“I have cousins who like to drink,” you warn while double checking his bag for extra socks. “But I know you’re a sailor, so I guess a warning doesn’t really matter.”

Jeonghan only giggles and wraps his arms around your waist, cheeks resting on your back.

“Oh, the little kids love handsome men,” you say and chuckle. “They will climb you, so prepare yourself.”

“You’re in love with me so I guess that’s out of the question.”

You can feel Jeonghan smirking against your back, making you roll your eyes. You jokingly elbow his stomach and he quickly flinches and laughs.

“I’m excited to meet your family, love,” Jeonghan whispers in all sincerity and kisses your neck, sparking a homey warmth in you.

You smile and turn your head to look at his face. He raises his eyebrows in question as he hugs you close to his chest again. You shake your head and press a soft kiss on the corner of his lips. That brings a smile on his face too before he has to let go and take the packing seriously.

The next morning, you and Jeonghan were on the road. Your siblings have families of their own so they brought their own vehicles. Meanwhile you parents tagged along with your aunts and uncles in one van as they don’t like driving for long hours anymore. You’re sure one of your cousins sacrificed and designated themselves as their driver. The rest were either also in their own vehicles or grouped themselves to whomever they wanted to ride with.

It took about three and a half hours to reach your destination. You managed to stay awake and accompany your boyfriend who’s driving all throughout. You give him a kiss as a thank you because you could have driven, but you’re sure you will drive his drunk butt on the way home. So, he takes the wheel on the first day.

However, settling down at the cottage itself took a while. The kids got so excited upon seeing the pool that they pestered their parents to immediately give them their swimsuits so they could finally dive into the water. Your aunts and uncles were shouting at each other (with good intentions) as they set up the food and drinks.

You could only smile and hold Jeonghan’s hand tighter. You give him a glance and you can tell he’s amused, but happy. You tug him with you to the kitchen. It’s only right you introduce him now before everyone else gets busier.

“Hey,” you greet and some look up from what they’re doing while some just acknowledge you with a nod. “This is Jeonghan, my boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend?!” One of your nieces suddenly screams and emerges from the door separating the kitchen and the dining area, making you and Jeonghan jump in surprise. “Y/N has a boyfriend!”

You weren’t honestly expecting the kids to be curious about Jeonghan, much less the word boyfriend. Yet here they are, confirming what you mentioned to your boyfriend earlier that they will indeed climb him. All he could manage to say to the people you’re introducing him to was a quick good morning before he got pulled away by the little children.

The rest that were left behind in the kitchen could only laugh. You laugh along with them and take the seat beside your mother who’s currently preparing some ingredients. She gives you a small wink and you just shake your head.

“I must say Y/N, very handsome,” one of your aunts says while grinning at you. “How long have you been together?”

Your smile is beaming at the sound of the compliment. “Quite a while now.”

“He has a job, right?” Your uncle suddenly shouts from the garden outside which shocks you because you thought he wouldn’t hear.

“Of course he has,” your father, who was talking with him, answers for you and that’s more than enough for him to close his mouth.

Your immediate family has met Jeonghan countless times before. He has celebrated birthdays and other several milestones with you so they are more than familiar with him already. Every person who wishes to introduce the love of their life to their family is surely nervous and you’re no different. At first, it was like that. But Jeonghan was perfect in every step of the way. By perfect you mean he made efforts to win your family’s heart by staying true to himself.

Jeonghan perfectly proved his honest love for you.

So you weren’t really worried or bothered about this family reunion slash vacation. You can see with your two eyes that the kids love Jeonghan and so does the rest of the family as they shake his hand as he politely introduces himself.

Later in the quiet of the night where almost everyone is fast asleep, the two of you find comfort in the small porch outside the cottage. It’s a bit chilly, but nothing the two of you can’t handle. Jeonghan nestles his face to your chest and locks his arms around your waist. He’s a bit tipsy after drinking with your family, but he insists he’s not drunk.

“We have two more days left here,” you whisper against the crown of his head. “Are you okay?”

“Hmmm,” Jeonghan hums, his hot breath fanning against your neck. “You bet I am.”

You chuckle and kiss him. “I’m glad you’re here.”

Jeonghan detaches himself from you and leans down to kiss your lips briefly, careful not to get caught by the family he’s trying to impress. You couldn’t return the kiss, but the feeling still made you close your eyes.

“I love you, “ Jeonghan whispers, enough to make blood rush to your face. “Thank you for introducing me to your family.”

You kiss his red and puffy lips before whispering against them, “I love you too.”

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theladyofdeath · 3 years ago

Text

Life As We Know It {Chapter 22}

Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.

Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.

Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set posting schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays. Occasional surprise chapters could be posted at miscellaneous times. Chapters will be posted on both my and Shelby’s blogs! >> @snelbz

Life As We Know It Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

Cassian was happier than he ever thought he’d be.

Over the past few weeks, he, Nesta, and Nyx had really become their own little family. It seemed that after all the heartache, after all the awkwardness, everything was falling into place.

Since that night they had slept together, again, Cassian had spent every night with Nesta in her bed, and awoken to her face every morning.

Cassian had been training his replacement at the bar, and the opening of his bar in Nesta’s restaurant was quickly approaching.

Perfect.

Everything was going perfectly.

It was a Saturday and both he and Nesta had off, which meant they got the rarity of spending the entire day together, just the three of them.

And it was Halloween.

There was a little Halloween carnival going on downtown, just outside of the Rainbow along the Sidra.

And although Cassian was happier than he ever thought he’d be, he did feel completely and utterly ridiculous as he looked in the mirror and saw his reflection, dressed in the Halloween costume that Nesta had bought for him.

It could have been worse, he decided, donning the floppy hat it had come with. He didn’t have paint all over his face and he wasn’t dressed as a dog, like Rhys had been the year prior. Just a smidge of eyeliner Nesta had coerced him into letting her put on him. And he may only have one hand, thanks to the “hook” he had to wear, but at least he had a bad ass looking sword.

Even if it was plastic.

Nesta appeared in the doorway, wearing a green dress and matching slippers, complete with white balls of fluff adorning the toes. “You about ready to go, Captain Hook?”

He slowly turned to look at her. “Is it the hair? Hmm? Are you one of those girls where long hair automatically means pirate?”

Nesta raised a brow as she crossed her arms. “Are you complaining?”

Cassian blinked. “These leather pants are so tight that I don’t think my balls are going to survive the day.”

Nesta’s grin was feral. “I promise to make it up to the boys once we’re back home.”

Cassian’s eyes narrowed. “Tease.”

“Not a tease,” she crooned. “A promise.”

She gave him a wink before leaving the room and walking down the hall. After a curse about how turned on he now was, Cassian followed.

At the bottom of the stairs in the living room, Nyx was standing up in his little Peter Pan costume. Cassian laughed, quietly. “You put the poor kid in tights.”

“He looks adorable!” Nesta hollered, from where she had disappeared in the kitchen.

Nyx looked at Cassian for a moment, slightly confused, but then recognition lit his eyes and he giggled, reaching up for his uncle. The second Cassian picked him up, Nyx was playing with his floppy hat.

“Pretty damn cute, alright,” Cassian said, chuckling. “Ready, Nes? Bands start playing soon. A couple of local bands I know will be playing, I think you’ll like them.”

Nesta swept out of the kitchen with a tiny cooler bag full of water, juice, and snacks. “Then let’s get going.”

After a short ride and a short walk, they entered the carnival and spotted Elain, Azriel, and Seph sitting in the grass, listening to the music. Azriel was dressed as Tigger, Elain was Pooh, and Seph was the cutest Piglet they had ever seen.

Cassian plopped down by Azriel and chuckled. “And I thought my costume was bad.”

Azriel looked over at him. “Shut up, Captain Jack.”

Cassian gasped indignantly. “I’m Captain Hook, you heathen.” He held up his left hand and shook the cheap, plastic hook in his face. “Get your pirates straight.”

The cousins were instantly squealing at each other, Seph having recently started crawling and Nesta couldn’t help but smile down at them as she sat next to Cassian. He slung an arm around her and pulled her into him, kissing the top of her head.

Nesta looked at Elain and caught her small smile, even though she tried to turn away before her older sister caught her. “What?” She asked, raising an eyebrow.

Elain shook her head, but that smile was still on her face. “Nothing.”

“Tell me,” Nesta said, leaning forward to see her around Cassian and Azriel.

“It’s just…” Elain blinked and Nesta could’ve sworn she saw tears shimmering in her sister’s eyes. “It’s just nice to see you happy.”

Nesta stilled for a moment. Was she happy? She supposed she was. It had all happened so quickly that Nesta hadn’t hardly realized.

She was happy.

Judging from his laughter with Azriel, and the way his fingers brushed along her skin, Nesta assumed that Cassian was happy, too.

“It’s a good thing, you know,” Elain whispered, when Nesta said nothing. “A very good thing.”

Nesta remained quiet, but she leaned into Cassian’s side with a little smile of her own.

The music began to play, and Nyx was having the time of his little life. He stood and danced, having no idea what was going on, but loving every second of it.

There were small tents set up around the carnival, passing out candy and other little toys and treats for the kids. Helion was there, at a tent sponsored by Nesta’s restaurant, handing out cookies and brownies she’d spent the past few days baking. Nesta had always loved Halloween, and having Nyx to enjoy it with made her love it all the more. They walked around while the bands continued to play, Nyx’s little bucket filling up with more candy and treats than the little boy could ever eat. Cassian ensured Nesta that it would not go to waste, but she just rolled her eyes.

“You know, I’ve always been a fan of Tinker Bell,” Cassian said, while they were eating candy apples.

Nesta looked at him, brow raised. “Unfortunately, I can’t say the same for Hook.”

Cassian chuckled, looking at Nyx while he nibbled on some goldfish that Nesta had packed in the cooler bag. “And what about Cassian?” Cassian asked. “Are you a fan of him?”

Nesta laughed, softly. “Are you asking me if I like you, Nazari?”

Cassian’s eyes lit with amusement. “I care about you, Nesta. That’s what I’m saying.”

The words she longed to say got stuck in her throat. The truth she’d wanted to tell him since his birthday over a month ago, when they’d finally succumbed to their desire for each other. But she wouldn’t. She couldn’t, not here, not right now, with strangers around them. Elain and Azriel weren’t far, but…

Something about those words. She wanted it just to be the two of them.

So Nesta chose to smirk instead, reaching over and rubbing caramel off his cheek. “You aren’t half bad, I guess.”

He sighed, dramatically, looking up into the sky. “I knew it, you’re only in it for the sex.”

“Cassian!” She blushed furiously, hoping no one had overheard him.

Grinning, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers. Nyx threw a goldfish at them, hitting Cassian in the side of the face.

Nesta couldn’t stop her laughter as she pulled back.

Even after a month, Nyx didn’t like Cassian kissing her. The fit he threw the first time he’d seen them kiss on the couch while he was playing with his toys on the floor and they watched a movie would go down in history as the worst meltdown the two of them had seen.

Nesta thought his continued, but lessening, tantrums were hilarious. Cassian could only roll his eyes.

“Was that necessary?” Cassian asked.

“Da,” Nyx said, popping a goldfish into his mouth. It was the closest thing he’d come to yes thus far.

“He used to like me, you know,” Cassian said, looking at Nesta, “before the two of us were together.”

Nesta shrugged. “He’s protective, what can I say?”

“You can say, to him, that you like it when I kiss you,” Cassian replied.

Nesta laughed as Nyx threw another goldfish at Cassian. “He’s smart, Cass. He may be a baby, but he knows you’re talking smack over here.”

“I would never talk smack about a baby,” Cassian said, taking a bite of his caramel apple. “Even if it’s true.”

It wasn’t too much later that Nyx was falling asleep, his little, green cap long forgotten and tucked into the pocket of Cassian’s obnoxious coat. He gently rubbed Nyx’s back as he slept on the blanket they’d laid out on the lush grass. Footsteps and a groan alerted him to Azriel’s presence as he sat down next to Cassian. Seph, in a carrier strapped to his chest, had been asleep for nearly an hour already. Cassian couldn’t help but smile at his brother and niece.

“So you two are actually making this work, huh,” Azriel said, smiling down at Nyx.

Cassian’s laughter sounded as if even he had a hard time believing it. “I guess so. It’s just…so easy with her.”

“I get it. I completely get it,” Azriel said, looking at something over Cassian’s shoulder, and from the way his eyes softened, he knew his brother’s gaze had found Elain.

“I think she feels the same way,” Cassian said. “She’s hard to read, though. Easier than she used to be - thank the Mother - but sometimes… I just want to grab her by the shoulders and ask her what the hell is on her mind.”

Azriel snorted. “Nesta is…”

When he didn’t complete his sentence, Cassian raised an amused brow.

“An interesting woman,” Azriel finished, at last.

Cassian laughed, quietly. “Yeah, she is. But, that’s what I like about her. She’s not a surface-level person, you know? She’s like an onion.”

Azriel blinked. “An onion?”

Cassian nodded. “A lot of layers.”

Azriel laughed, quietly. “I would keep that one to yourself. Not sure how Nesta would feel about being called a vegetable that makes you cry.”

Cassian chuckled, and shrugged. “I think it sounds nice.”

Azriel grinned and looked down at Seph. “Do you see it working out long term, then?”

“You make it sound like a legal document,” Cassian replied, snorting.

Azriel shook his head. “Fine. I’ll ask it simpler, then. Do you love her?”

He hesitated. “It’s only been a month.”

“And?” Azriel asked. “You’ve lived together for half a year. You've known her for over five years.”

Cassian was quiet. He contemplated Azriel’s question, watching the gentle rise and fall of Nyx’s breathing. “I don’t know.”

“You still think Rhys and Feyre didn’t know what they were doing when they set you up all those years ago?”

Looking up at Azriel, Cassian wasn’t expecting to find him smiling softly. “I still think they were bat shit insane,” he chuckled. “But… No. I get it now. They… They just wanted to give us the chance to be as happy as they were.”

“And are you?” Azriel asked, curiosity on his face.

Cassian looked around, finding Nesta laughing with Elain and Mor and Emerie and Gwyn. The smile as he watched her wasn’t faked. “Yeah. I am.”

Azriel’s smile was as genuine as his own. “Then I think you know.”

It had been a good day, and an even better night.

Nyx fell asleep in his carseat on the way home, and Nesta had gotten him out of his costume and into a fresh diaper and pajamas without him hardly stirring. After that, when Nesta meandered into her bedroom, she found a half-dressed pirate with a mischievous glint in his eye. He had made a show of taking Nesta’s costume off with his hook, which had her unable to stop the wide smile, the giggling, that escaped her control.

It was all sweet, adorable play until his lips found her skin, and then Nesta’s giddiness faded away as complete euphoria took control of her body.

They laid together as Halloween faded away and November 1st approached. Nesta’s fingers danced over his bare chest.

“Today was a fun day,” she said, quietly, as she watched her fingers move along his tattoos.

“It was,” he murmured, already half asleep, his arm wrapped around her, tucking her into his side. He had spent most of his day chasing down Nyx, while Nesta had watched, a smile on her face, as Elain took picture after picture. She’d promised to email the best ones to Nesta as soon as she’d edited them.

She could tell Cassian was exhausted as she looked up into his handsome face, the eyeliner still smudged under his eyes. Sensing her gaze on him, he cracked an eye open and looked at her. “What?”

She shook her head, laying it back down on his chest. “You still have make-up on,” she chuckled.

“What?” He asked. “You don’t think I look pretty?”

Snorting, she nestled into his warm body, settling as his calloused fingers scraped over bare waist. She felt his lips press against the top of her head and in that moment, she realized that this was how it was supposed to be. Nothing had ever felt as…right as this did. As being with him did.

“Cass?”

He grunted in answer, and Nesta realized he was just about asleep.

She decided not to reveal the bit of truth she’d been about to, not when he very well might not remember it the next day.

Instead, she settled her head back on his chest, and said, “I had fun today.”

He mumbled something that sounded like me too, but within seconds, his breath had evened out, and he was asleep.

She wouldn’t reveal that bit of herself, not tonight. But tomorrow…

Tomorrow, she would tell him.

And she prayed he felt the same way.

It was hardly after eight when Nesta woke up and found Cassian beside her, in bed, with a sleeping Nyx on his chest. He was scrolling through his phone, his back propped up against the headboard, his sweatpants nearly blending into the navy blue comforter.

Nesta blinked a few times before she yawned and said, “Good morning.”

Cassian’s eyes darted away from his phone, to her. He smiled. “Good morning. Little man woke up about an hour ago. Fell asleep again five minutes ago or so. Apparently he got worn out yesterday.”

Nesta chuckled. “I’d say so.”

“I was going to put him in his crib but he seems comfortable,” Cassian said. “I can, though, if you want me to make breakfast.”

Nesta shook her head as she propped herself up on her elbows. “That’s okay. I can make breakfast. I was in a french toast type of mood.”

“Sounds good,” Cassian crooned, and Nesta reached up to kiss him, softly, before dragging herself out of bed. After slipping on some cozy shorts and one of Cassian’s oversized t-shirts, she was headed downstairs.

Sunday mornings were her favorite, nowhere for either of them to be. Just time together and time with Nyx. She was humming quietly to herself after she’d made a pot of coffee, pulling what she needed to make French toast and bacon out of the fridge when there was a sudden knock on the front door.

Nesta froze, listening to ensure she had in fact heard—

Another knock, just as insistent as the first.

“Was that the door?” Cassian was carrying Nyx downstairs, the baby’s pacifier barely staying in his mouth as he sleepily leaned his head on his uncle’s bare shoulder.

“Yeah,” she replied, eyebrows furrowing as she reached the door and opened it.

Nesta froze as she found Alis Birch on the other side.

“Ms. Archeron, good morning,” she said, eyeing her choice of attire.

“Ms. Birch, good morning. What a surprise,” she said, trying not to panic.

“I hope it’s a good time,” she said, looking past Nesta to see what chaos she could find. “This is the last of my surprise visits.”

“I see,” Nesta said, then cleared her throat as she stepped aside. “Come in, please.”

Alis did not need to be told twice. She swept past Nesta and into the foyer, where Cassian caught sight of her. He stopped as their eyes met, and he hesitated.

“Ms. Birch,” he said, as if it were a pleasant surprise. “Nice to see you again.”

“You too,” she said, looking at Nyx. “Big Halloween, was it?”

“Fun Halloween,” Cassian corrected. “We were at the carnival downtown for most of the day. He had a blast.”

Alis nodded, but said no more.

“Have a seat,” Nesta said, gesturing to the living room furniture. “Please.”

Alis sat in a chair while Cassian carefully and slowly sat back on the couch, Nesta sitting beside him.

Before anyone could say anything else, Alis said, “The two of you have become intimate.”

Nesta swallowed roughly while Cassian could only blink. After a moment, she collected herself. “I—We…”

“It’s fairly recent,” Cassian admitted, taking over when it was clear Nesta was floundering.

She wanted to demand how she could tell, but she was very clearly wearing his shirt while he wore nothing at all, aside from his sweats. They were cooking breakfast while the baby dozed. It was all so…domestic.

Alis would have been blind not to notice it.

She hummed once before opening her notebook and scribbling a few notes down. “The two of you have come a long way in a few months then, since you were barely even friends the last time I was here.” She threw Nesta’s own half-drunk words into their faces.

“Things have changed,” she breathed, yearning to reach over and take Cassian’s hand, but not wanting to look weak in front of the woman.

The woman who controlled whether or not they’d be keeping Nyx.

“So, this is not a fling, then?” Alis asked.

Cassian opened his mouth, but it was Nesta who politely said, “I’m sorry, but I’m not sure how our romantic life is an appropriate topic-.”

“Oh, it is most appropriate,” Alis assured them both. “If this is nothing but a fling, it could create a lot of drama in the home, which could in turn affect Nyx’s well being. However, if this is love, something that will become steadier day by day, then I could not be more overjoyed.”

You don’t sound overjoyed, Nesta wanted to say, but didn’t.

“We are aware that everything we do affects Nyx,” Cassian said, not unkindly. “We thought it through before we decided to get together.”

Nesta almost wanted to laugh. Thought it through? They hooked up twice, and the second time it stuck. She wasn’t sure that was exactly thinking it through. In fact, there hadn’t been much thinking at all.

It just kind of...happened.

Nyx had indeed lost his pacifier at some point and patted Cassian on the cheek.

“Babababa,” he chanted, which the two of them had learned meant he wanted his bottle and Cassian stood.

“Excuse me, I’ll be back,” he said, carrying Nyx into the kitchen.

Alis held Nesta’s stare, eventually asking, “Does Nyx have a support system, outside of the home?”

She blinked. “I’m afraid I don’t follow.”

Alis set down her pen and looked at Nesta as if she were the child in this situation. “Let’s say things don’t last. Let’s say whatever is between you and Mr. Nazari isn’t a love match and it falls apart. Aside from the two of you, does Nyx have other people who could step in to take care of him?”

“I don’t see why he would need it,” she replied, her voice cold. “Even if things don’t work out, Cassian and I will still take care of him. Nyx is our responsibility now. We love him.”

“And will you do that from one home?”

“We… I…” Nesta shook her head. “Ma’am, with all due respect, we haven’t even had time to figure out what exactly this is between us.”

Alis scooped up her bag and tucked her notebook against her chest as she stood. “That’s exactly what I’m afraid of. And I’d like the two of you to have that figured out before my next visit. I’ll reach out a few days before, so you can expect me. But I’d like this…” She gestured around her, “situation to be more straightforward before I return.”

She turned and headed for the door.

When Cassian came back, Alis was gone. He blinked, Nyx now awake, downing his milk. “Where’d she go?”

“She left,” Nesta said, quietly. “She’ll let us know when she’s coming next time.”

Cassian’s brows furrowed as he sat next to Nesta on the couch. “What’s wrong?”

Nesta hesitated, then said, “I think she thinks that us getting together is a mistake.”

Cassian looked at Nesta for a moment, then snorted. “She also thought that us living together, unromantically, and raising Nyx was a mistake.”

Nesta said nothing as she watched her hands, quietly.

Cassian’s smile faded away. “What? You don’t think us getting together is a mistake, right?”

“No, of course not,” Nesta said, but it lacked passion.

Cassian watched her. “Nesta.”

“She brings up some good points, Cass,” Nesta breathed.

Cassian’s jaw ticked. “What does that mean?”

Nesta closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Well, what if we don’t work out? What will happen? We should at least have a plan.”

“You don’t think we’re going to work out?” Cassian asked.

“I don’t even know what we are, Cassian,” she breathed, opening her eyes, but continued staring at her hands. “Am I your girlfriend? Are we exclusive? Is this just what’s convenient for us both?”

Cassian was staring at her, unable to think of anything to say, barely able to understand what had happened in the past thirty minutes since he’d gotten out of bed. “This sure as hell isn’t just about convenience, not for me. But if it is for you, I guess I’d like to know now.”

She still didn’t look at him. “I don’t know, Cass.”

He had no idea what to say, no idea what to do. He shook his head. “I’m going to take Nyx on my jog with me. When we get back, you let me know if this is still convenient for you.”

His voice was colder than she’d heard it in months, barely recognized it as he silently made his way up the stairs. She didn’t move, could hardly think as she heard him get changed and then dress Nyx as well.

Her face fell into her hands.

This isn’t how she wanted the morning to go.

As she laid in bed with him the night before, listening to the steady beating of his heart after he fell asleep, she had a long list of things she wanted to say to him today, had a long list of emotions she wanted him to feel.

Pissed wasn’t one of them.

Unsure wasn’t one of them.

Nothing was going as planned.

It wasn’t until Cassian was carrying a babbling Nyx back down the stairs that Nesta looked up. Cassian wouldn’t meet her eyes.

“Cass-,” she began, but he strode through the living room and out the door, the door closing just a little too hard behind him.

No, this wasn’t how she wanted the day to go.

She didn’t get to tell Nyx goodbye.

She didn’t get to tell Cassian goodbye, or any of the other things she had planned.

But maybe it was for the best. Maybe things would continue to fall into place, just not the place that she had planned.

Nesta sat back on the couch, her face falling back into her hands.

As the first tear fell, she wondered if this was a part of Feyre’s plan.

#nessian #fanfic #snacmc collab #snacmc lawki #nesta #cassian #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acosf #fanfiction #modern au

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howdoyousleep3 · 3 years ago

Note

We gonna theme this self care story today, y'all:

"Please don't freak out. It's only for a few hours. Haden has an ear infection and Becca didn't want to bring Jamie with to the doctor's office, and Brian is still at work, and--"

Steve honestly was only catching about every third word or so, as every iota of his focus was zeroed in on the little bundle of pastel flannel cradled in the nook of Bucky's elbow. He could only catch the barest glimmer of half cracked eyes, pudgy, squished up cheeks, and the wildest shock of brunette hair, but it was enough.

"Can I hold her?"

Bucky choked on the rest of his apologetic deluge, mouth hanging open and eyes blinking owlishly. But he mechanically handed his baby niece to his boyfriend, watching as the large man just...curled around the tiny little body in his arms, enveloping her completely.

"Well, hello there, beautiful. You got your mom's eyes, didn't you? That's good. The Barnes' have the most incredible eyes. I mean, just look at your uncle."

Bucky could only follow as Steve shuffled to the living room--still talking to Jamie--,letting the diaper bag and car seat fall from his shoulders with a small thud.

It was all muscle memory that had him pulling out and setting up Jamie's playmat and pillows, shoving the coffee table aside to get enough room. His focus was captured by Steve as he settled carefully in his chair, not even flinching when Jamie reached up and grabbed a decent handful of beard and started shaking her fist.

"Easy there, Missy," he chuckled, bring his own massive paw up to so, so gently uncurl her tiny little fingers. "I'll have you know that your uncle is very fond of my beard, and he'd be very cross if you ended up damaging it."

Steve refused to relinquish Jamie for the entire afternoon. Feedings, bathing, tummy time...the only time he didn't have some kind of contact with the infant was when she threw up a little bit while he was burping her and he had to go change. And he kept talking to her the entire time, maintaining the one-sided conversation as easy as breathing.

Bucky was gobsmacked. Sure, he knew Steve was awesome with kids; Sam's plethora of nieces, nephews, and cousins all loved when he came to the family parties and get-togethers. Piggyback rides, Frisbee, catch, swimming lessons, homework help...Steve was more than happy to do it all. But Bucky had never really seen him interact with babies. He felt like he'd just gained some new, secret knowledge about his boyfriend. He wanted to feel like he'd been cheated or something, but honestly, he was just thrilled that there were still things to learn about each other.

"Aw, little bug can hardly keep her eyes open. Naptime, precious?"

Broken from his musings, Bucky quickly set up Jamie's playmat as a sleep nest, her blankets and pillows cradling her as Steve settled her inside. She was asleep in moments.

The men tiptoed to the kitchen, scrounging up enough snack food to quell hunger as them both kept an eye on the baby through the open doorway.

"You're amazing," Bucky said quietly, drawing Steve's gaze. "You've been absolutely incredible with her today. Thank you."

Steve smiled and pulled the smaller man into his arms, pressing an easy kiss to his mouth. "It's been a pleasure, darlin'. She's been angel."

The silence resumed peacefully, both men content to hold and enjoy each other. In the other room, Jamie snored softly.

"You know that this means Becca is gonna rope us into babysitting all the time now, right?"

Steve's laugh was quiet but joyous. "I look forward to it."

My heart is just...ten sizes too large. I can't cope. I'm so in love with Steve and I'm so in love with Bucky and I'm so in love with how much Bucky loves Steve. Perfection.

#askK #self care story #self care sunday #shadow #my shadow tag #wowowowowowowowowow #people with babies #my goodness

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bowlegsandbiceps · 3 years ago

Text

Suptober Day 5: Nostalgia

General | De-Aged Sam Winchester & Big Brother Dean, Implied Destiel and Rowena/Sam | 2,005 Words

Read on AO3

Suptober Masterlist (A03)

“Cas.”

“Dee!” The small child in front of Dean raised its arms and made gimme hands.

“CAS!”

Dean took a step back from the small boy sitting where his brother used to be, his arms curling in as if cringing away. It looked like Sam at eighteen months, just the slightest swirl of brown hair near his forehead, the rest of him bald as a cue ball. The child blinked up at him, arms still outstretched but his smile wavered and his hands gestured more insistently.

“Castiel get your feathery ass over here!”

The sound of hurried footsteps loomed behind him and he felt the weight of Castiel’s hand on his shoulder as the other man came to stand beside him.

“What is it?”

Dean nodded down at the baby. Castiel looked at it and blinked.

“Who is that?”

Dean knew who it was. “I dunno.”

“Where’s Sam?” Castiel looked around and Dean felt the lump grow in his throat.

The child had clamored onto his knees and was crawling across the cement towards them. Dean recoiled and Castiel stepped in front of him on instinct. The child merely went around him and grabbed onto Dean’s pant leg, grunting as he pulled himself up to his feet.

“Dee!” He said again, chubby face gazing up into Dean’s. “Up!”

“Dean?” Castiel’s voice was cautious as Dean leaned down to pick the child up, settling him on his hip and the boy immediately rested his head against DEan’s chest, one thumb going into his mouth. “I… I think that’s Sam.”

Dean gulped, looking down into intelligent hazel eyes. “I think you’re right.”

Dean and Castiel sat at one of the large library tables each just staring at the baby they’d placed in the middle. Neither men had spoken the entire drive back to the bunker, Dean driving with Sam in his lap while the kid made vroom noises and held onto the wheel. The chair creaked as Castiel shifted in his seat. Sam blew a spit bubble then giggled when it popped. Dean put his head in his hands.

“What do we do?”

“I could try and heal him,” Castiel suggested and Dean looked up at him.

“You can heal this?”

Castiel shrugged with guileless eyes.

Dean dropped his head. “I can’t raise this kid again, Cas.” Dean pressed his hands together, his mouth puckering against the knuckles of his thumbs as he looked at Sam with terrified eyes. “I did it once. I can’t do it again. I’m too fucking old.”

Castiel laid a hand on Dean’s shoulder. “We’ll fix him. We’ll call Rowena.” Dean snorted. “What? She has a vested interest in getting Sam back into his adult form.”

Dean closed his eyes, holding up and hand and gagging for good measure. “Don’t remind me.”

Rowena was in New York and wouldn’t arrive until morning. Dean bit the bullet and went out for supplies - bottles, diapers, wipes, baby food, and a pack of onesies he just guessed on the size. When he got back to the bunker he could hear Sam wailing from the other side of the heavy iron door and he nearly broke his neck in his effort to descend the stairs all at once.

Sam was sitting in the middle of the table in the exact same spot he’d been when Dean had left. Castiel was now standing, staring down at the hiccoughing child with his head canted to the side. Dean dropped all his bags on the floor and hurried over, bundling Sam up in the flannel Sam had been wearing before he de-aged and cradled him to his chest. Sam immediately stopped crying and rested his head on Dean’s shoulder.

“What the fuck, Cas?”

“I tried everything, Dean.” Castiel held up his hands in a helpless gesture. “He didn’t want to play with my keys. He didn’t want any mashed potatoes. He threw the cup of water I tried to give him. He didn’t urinate or defecate on himself-“

“He wanted to be held!” Dean stared at Castiel as if he were some kind of monster and Castiel leveled him with a glare.

“I tried that first. He didn’t want to be held.”

“Well looks like he does now,” Dean snarked, shrugging his shoulders up and Castiel rolled his eyes.

“He wanted to be held by you, Dean.”

Dean looked down, trying to see Sam’s face but the child turned further into his neck and sighed. Dean pursed his lips. “What’s your problem short stack?”

“Dee,” Sam started and began to babble, lifting his head about halfway through his diatribe. He looked to Cas who was staring at him critically as if trying to decipher every word and Sam immediately looked away.

“Do you think he’s all there? Like adult Sam but just…a baby?” Dean looked into his eyes and Sam huffed, grabbing onto Dean’s face with his hands. Dean didn’t bother to pull back, knowing from experience the kid didn’t let up with this kind of thing. He stuck his fingers in Dean’s mouth and Dean dutifully let him poke at his teeth.

“I don’t think so,” Castiel reached forward, pulling Sam’s hands out of Dean’s mouth and Sam slapped at him, reaching again for Dean’s lips.

“Are you-“ Dean cut off nearly biting the kid’s finger off. “Are you hungry or something?”

“Dee!” Sam exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air and then he patted his tummy which made Dean laugh.

“Yeah, the bear in there is growling huh?” Sam nodded emphatically and Dean bobbed his head with him. “Alright alright. Bottle it is.”

Castiel helped Dean carry the supplies into the kitchen and stood by as Dean went about making the bottle, formula mixed with a little cereal, with Sam perched on his hip. He huffed when he finally got the cap on and handed it to Sam who finally let go of his neck and grabbed the bottle, immediately shoving the nipple in his mouth. Dean looked up at Castiel.

“Like riding a bike,” Dean quipped looking down at Sam as his brother gazed up at him over the side of his bottle. “Right Sammy?”

Sam merely hummed.

“You know, this isn’t so bad,” Dean mused gazing down at Sam who was now dressed in a diaper and onesie, sucking away at a pacifier.

They were posted up on the couch in the Dean Cave, the TV playing Dora The Explorer in the background. Castiel’s gaze was fixed on the television and he was having trouble pulling his eyes away.

“He is much more enjoyable when he’s quiet,” Castiel admitted and Dean snorted a laugh, one finger trailing over the soft skin of Sam’s cheek. The baby shook his head.

“You know bedtime routine was always my favorite.” Dean smoothed the silky strip of hair near his forehead and Sam’s eyelids fluttered. “The winding down period at the end of the day. We’d be in some crap motel and Dad would have us all on one bed, Sammy between us while he talked us to sleep.”

“Talked you to sleep?”

A small smile pulled at Dean’s lips as one of Sam’s fat fists clutched at his finger. “Yeah, John Winchester did not sing. Or tell bedtime stories. He bored us to sleep with car maintenance tips and tricks.” Dean let out a spastic chuckle, marveling at the length of Sam’s lashes, the rosiness of his cheeks. “God, I’d forgotten all about that.”

Dean resettled, arms tightening around his brother and Sam’s eyelids fluttered, his head nuzzling into Dean’s armpit. Dean let his fingertips whisper across Sam’s forehead, a sense of longing settling in his bones. He glanced over at Castiel who was bent in half, intent on the TV.

“You know it wasn’t all bad. How we were raised.” Castiel glanced at him and then his gaze held. “I never thought I’d miss it but,” Dean let out a small chuckle, “This right here’s got me waxing nostalgic.” Dean chuckled again, gave a shake of his head. “It wasn’t all bad. Some of it was actually kind of great. You ever think about having kids, Cas?”

“It’s forbidden,” Castiel said, eyes back on the TV. “Angels can’t mate with humans.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Yeah well, I ain’t got a uterus so we wouldn’t get one the old-fashioned way anyway. Seriously, man. You’ve never thought about it?”

Castiel looked back at Dean. “No. Have you?”

Dean shrugged. “Not really. Never figured I’d live long enough to raise one, plus I thought I’d had my fill with Sammy here.” Dean dipped his head, pressing a kiss to the child’s hairline.

“And now you want children?” Castiel’s voice was low and slow, clearly trying to discern if Dean was teasing him or not. Dean’s ears turned red.

“I dunno. No. Maybe.” Dean looked down at Sam and then looked back up at Castiel, his gaze helpless. Castiel merely smiled, reaching a hand out to rest on Dean’s shoulder, giving it a soft squeeze.

“I would be honored to raise a child with you, Dean.”

Dean looked back, a little grin pulling at his lips. “Yeah?” Castiel nodded seriously and Dean looked down at Sam. “What do you think, Sammy? You want a niece or nephew?”

Sam slept on.

“I take it back,” Dean insisted, gagging and covering his mouth as he lifted Sam up by the ankles, the dirty diaper sticking to his butt. “I never wanna do this again.” Dean looked over his shoulder at Castiel. “Hey, Mr. Angel of the Lord, you wanna give me a hand here, maybe toss this dirty diaper and hand me some wipes.”

“The smell is most unpleasant.”

Dean rolled his eyes, snatching the wipes Castiel offered. “No shit Sherlock. Get rid of that thing will you?” Dean gagged again.

“How on earth did you manage to turn your brother into a baby?” Rowena exclaimed by way of greeting.

“Dean, Rowena is here.”

Dean having startled awake cringed as Sam started to wail. “Yeah, Cas, I got that, thanks.”

“Was it a curse?” Rowena was kneeling down, trying to look into Sam’s face but he clutched at Dean’s flannel like a lifeline, hiding against his chest. “A spell?”

“A spell we think,” Castiel said over Sam’s sniffling sobs. Dean had hoisted him up over his shoulder and was rubbing his back rhythmically. Rowena frowned. “Sam was the first to enter the room-“

“Ah, I know exactly what this is.” Rowena smiled, triumphant. “You leave it to me, boys. Samuel will be grown again in no time.”

“Rowena!” Dean yelled over the siren-like wail of the now giant baby sitting in the center of the library.

“Don’t panic!” Rowena insisted, flipping through an old book while rummaging around in her bag.

“Panic?” Dean questioned. “There’s a ten-foot baby-“ His voice cut off as a hand clamped around his bicep and he was jerked off his feet to face plant into Sam’s clammy chest. The kid started to squeeze the life out of him and Castiel moved forward, trying to pry his arms off. “Rowena!”

“I can’t believe she turned me into a ten-foot baby,” Sam snorted from where he sat at the kitchen table, once again fully clothed and his normal age and size.

“You were quite agreeable up until then,” Castiel mused.

“Oh yeah, you get to practice your babysitting skills?” Sam asked and Castiel gave him a tart smile.

“No, you wouldn’t let anyone else touch you but Dean.”

Sam’s eyebrows rose, his gaze moving to his brother who stood at the stove, working on a grilled cheese. “Yeah, I’d forgotten what a clingy little shit you were back then.”

Sam scoffed. “Well, I still haven’t forgotten what an overbearing mother hen you were.” Sam crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m never having kids. Dealing with my own childhood was enough.”

Dean glanced at Castiel who gazed back, and a small smile tugged at his lips. “It wasn’t so bad. Except for the diapers.”

#suptober21 #writing by me #fanfic: supernatural

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