#and we get REALLY ANGRY when we feel it coming

[cjlouwho]

He'd forced himself to stay out of bed until at least eight o'clock. Glancing at the clock on the wall every two minutes as he flipped through the channels on TV. He had exited out of his DVR pretty quickly. Most of the things on there were shows that Buck had recorded for them to watch together later. There was a documentary on beetles of the world that they had only gotten halfway through before they were stumbling into the bedroom, not that Tommy minded. He'd never really wanted to watch the documentary in the first place. Now he'd give anything to have Evan beside him, talking over everything the narrator said.

He wanted today to be over. Wanted to fall asleep and wake up and it be another normal day. Just Friday, November 29th. Nothing special about that.

The second it hit eight, Tommy was shutting off the TV and getting up to head to his room. He stopped as he passed the front door. He swore he could hear something on the other side of it. A rustling, mixed with someone cursing under their breath.

He sighed. He was supposed to be getting a new part for his truck delivered soon, and the guy probably tossed it, angry about having to make deliveries on Thanksgiving.

He flipped on the light before opening the door, freezing when he saw it was definitely not some random delivery guy on the other side.

"Ev- Buck? Why are... What?"

"I dropped the pie," Buck whined, scooping pumpkin pie off of Tommy's front porch and plopping it back into its container.

It took Tommy a second to understand what was happening. There was a brown bag by the door, filled to the top with containers, and a couple more containers beside it.

Then there was the pie, most of it back in the container with some smeared in Buck's hand, and remnants on the porch. There would be ants everywhere by morning. But that was a tomorrow problem.

"Here, Buck, it's fine, just-"

"You weren't supposed to come out yet," Buck explained in a bit of a panic. He was still bent over, picking at the crust on the ground. "I was gonna ring the doorbell and go before you got to the door."

"You were gonna ding dong ditch me?" Tommy asked, trying to lighten the mood. When it didn't work, he took a step closer to Buck, "Buck, seriously, it's fine. You didn't need to do all this."

Finally, Buck stood, his pumpkin covered hand held out. "Well, I know you don't wanna see me or talk to me, but I wanted you to have some of the food because when we planned everything it was with you in mind, and we had a lot leftover and I knew you wouldn't fix yourself anything and-"

"Buck, just... just come in and wash your hands, please, okay? I'll grab the food."

Buck took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "I'll be in and out."

Tommy stepped to the side, letting Buck in first. He grabbed up all the food and followed behind him into the kitchen. "Feels like there's enough here to feed me for a week."

"I figured you might want to take some into work with you, or freeze it or something," Buck replied, scrubbing the pumpkin off his hand.

"I appreciate it. You, um, you really didn't have to do all this. I did end up making some Thanksgiving foods for myself."

Buck huffed out a laugh. "What? Stovetop stuffing and cranberry sauce?" He grabbed the towel from beside the sink and turned to Tommy looking at him from across the kitchen island, his face blank and eyes a little red. Buck shook his head. "Sorry, that was mean, I- I didn't mean it to sound like that."

"It's fine. You're not wrong about that, actually."

"Still, I, uh, I shouldn't have said it like that. Sorry." He dropped the towel back by the sink and pushed himself away from the counter. "I'm gonna go, but Happy... Happy Thanksgiving, Tommy."

Tommy pursed his lips as Buck walked by, heading for the door. Part of him was saying to keep quiet, let him go. The other part told him he was an idiot if he did that.

"You are wrong about something though," he blurted, stopping Buck before he could get too far.

Buck turned back to him. "What's that?"

"I have wanted to see you, and talk to you."

They stared at each other for a moment, both of their hearts thumping in their chests.

"You have?" Buck questioned. "Could've fooled me."

Yeah, he deserved that. "Listen, are you hungry at all?" Tommy asked. "I could get this warmed up and we could eat, talk, fight, whatever. I... I feel like I left a little too soon and you deserve more of an explanation than what I gave you. No pressure though, if you wanna go, I'll understand, I just think-"

"I could eat," Buck interrupted. "As long as you mean it all. Even the fighting part."

Tommy smiled softly. "I would really, really love to fight with you this Thanksgiving, Evan."

"You sure?"

Tommy nodded.

"Okay then," Buck agreed. "I'd really, really love to fight with you too."

“The team is off this year, and you are too, so I’m going to show you what a real Thanksgiving looks like.”

That’s what Buck had told him a month ago, a late night discussion in bed at the loft, Buck’s shoulder healed enough to lie down but Tommy making no effort to leave him.

Being off for Thanksgiving was rare, both of them being off was practically a miracle. Buck was determined not to waste it.

He’d asked Tommy about what his Thanksgivings were like growing up. Tommy had told him, the first few he could remember were his dad yelling about something not being done right and his mom ending up in the bedroom crying.

After she died, there was no more Thanksgiving at all. The only thing Tommy would do, more for his mom than anything else, is make her “special homemade dressing” (a box of Stovetop), and cranberry sauce. He’d eat it alone in the kitchen while his dad downed one beer after another in his chair in the living room, watching whatever game was on.

And once he was an adult, he worked pretty much every Thanksgiving, so he didn’t think much of it.

Buck had kissed him hard after that, promised this year would be different. They’d all be at Maddie and Chimney’s place, but everyone was going to pitch in with the cooking. There would be kids running around, and games, and way too much food, and maybe once everyone else left they’d watch a Christmas movie.

Tommy played it cool, but he felt like a kid on the inside. He was so excited. He’d get to be with his boyfriend and his boyfriend’s family, which were his friends too. There would be laughter and embarrassing stories told. The kids would be getting excited for Christmas and he’d ask Jee what she was wanting so he could get her present sorted out. It would be perfect.

Tommy cleared his throat as he turned off the stove, blinking away the tears in his eyes. He set the stuffing on the back burner, letting it sit while he scooped two spoonfuls of cranberry sauce on his plate. From the fridge he grabbed a beer and set it at the table. Then he went back to the stuffing and stirred it, satisfied with the thickness. He added a bit more than a regular serving size to his plate, then walked back to the table.

From his seat he could hear the game on in the living room. If he pretended enough, he could imagine his dad in there. At least then he wouldn’t be alone.

[winchesterwild78]

An Unexpected Friendship pt 7

Master List

Characters: Jensen Ackles x Reader, Reader’s daughter, Jensen’s children

Warnings/Trigger Warnings: Language, mention of death, Mention of panic attacks, some angst, SMUT! 

A/N: This is a short story written in collaboration with @cheekygirl2309.

This chapter has Jensen realizing how much he messed up and working on fixing what he broke, with a little help from a sweet little girl. 😀

No disrespect to Jensen or his family. This is a work of fiction and does not depict real life. Written and edited fast-please overlook any errors. 

Minors DNI 18+

The next few days in the house were strained. The kids went to school and I stayed to myself for most of the day. Terri and the other nurse, Angela would alternate coming in and taking care of Jensen. His physical therapy was starting today, so Angela was waiting on the physical therapist downstairs with me.

“Hey, Y/N, how are you doing? This can’t be easy on you.” I looked up from the book I was reading, “I’m okay. My main focus is Jensen getting better. Then we can move on. His kids need him back to his old self.” “You and your little girl do too.” She offered a smile. I just nodded.

The pain in my heart had only grown since that day. Jensen and I hadn’t spoken since. I would wait until Terri or Angela was in the room with him before I’d go in and grab what I needed. I couldn’t look at him. Just hearing his voice broke me. 

Jared and Gen had come by to check on us and offer advice. They knew the gap between Jensen and I was only getting wider. Jared being the mediator he is, tried his best to help repair Jensen and I. 

“Jared, I appreciate everything you’re trying to do. I really do, but Jensen made it clear he blames me for the accident, and he doesn’t want me here. We haven’t slept in the same room since that day. I just have to figure out what to do. Jazzy loves him so much, and I love the kids. I can’t break her heart or theirs’, but I can’t continue to live with someone who is angry with me.” 

Jared pulled me into a big hug, “I’m so sorry, Y/N. You know you and Jazzy are welcome to stay with us if you need to. We know how you feel about going back home.” “I appreciate it, Jared, but I can’t drive a wedge between you and your brother. I love you guys too much to do that.”

As Jared and I talked, Gen went upstairs to check on Jensen. Angela was helping him sit back down when she walked in. 

“Hey Gen. It’s good to see you. Is Jared here too?” Jensen smiled. “Yes he is, but don’t use that smile on me Jensen Ross!” Jensen’s eyes went wide, “Whoa what did I do?” Angela excused herself to give Gen and Jensen some space. “You broke her fucking heart is what you did, Jensen. She’s lonely and so heart broken. She truly believes you blame her for the accident.” 

“Gen, I never said that to her. I don’t blame her.” “You might not have said it, but your actions speak louder than any words. Have you even tried to talk to her?” Jensen just shook his head no. 

“Dammit Jensen, you’re going to lose her and that beautiful little girl.” Jensen’s breath hitched. He knew Gen was telling the truth, but he wasn’t sure how to fix this or if you’d want to fix it.

The conversation with Gen and Jared was two days ago. Jensen had tried to reach out to you through text since you wouldn’t come near the room. He didn’t want to get the kids involved, so he figured he’d text you.

Jensen: Hey sweetheart. Can we talk?

Me: I’m not sure what there is to talk about.

Jensen: Us? How much of an asshole I am. How you have every right to walk away from me, and hate me.

Me: I don’t hate you, Jensen.

Jensen: Well, that’s a start. Can you come to our bedroom so we can talk?

Me: I don’t think that’s a good idea. I’m really tired. Maybe we can talk tomorrow.

Jensen: Oh, okay. I’d like that. I love you, Y/N.

Me: Good night, Jensen.

I put my phone down and sobbed. I wanted to run into the room and hold him. Kiss his lips and tell him how much I loved him. I knew he was hurting, but so was I. I was scared of never holding him again, never feeling his love again. 

I sobbed into my pillow. Sleeping down the hall from him was so hard. I craved his touch, I wanted to feel safe enough to sleep, but I couldn’t. Then I heard a soft knock on my door. I wiped my face, sat up and said “come in.” It was Jazzy. 

“Hey baby girl, are you okay?” I asked, trying to hide the tears. “I’m sad mommy.” I pulled her into my lap, “Why are you sad baby?” “Because you’re sad, and Daddy Jensen got hurt.” “Oh sweetie, I’m okay, and Jensen will be okay too. He’s doing great with his healing and he’s starting to walk around more.” “But mommy, you’re not in there with him. You’re in here and you’re so sad. Sad like when daddy died.” 

My breath caught in my throat. I didn’t know she knew I was so sad, I’d only cry at night after I was sure they were asleep. “Oh baby, I’ll be okay. I’m just sad Jensen got hurt and is upset about it. Everything is going to be okay baby.” I kissed her head and smiled, trying to fight the pain away. I carried her back to her bed, gave her Braveheart and kissed her head again.

I went back to the guest room and crawled in the bed. Covering my head with the blanket and burying my face deep in the pillow, I let out a scream and then I just broke. 

Jensen laid in bed, flipping through the photo album I had made for him. He missed me so much, my lips, my hands, my body. He knew he fucked up and it was going to take more than a text to fix this. 

As he put the album away, he heard a soft knock on his door. His heart leaped in his chest. “Come in.” He said softly, but loud enough to be heard. The door slowly opened. Thinking he was about to see me, he was a little taken back when he saw Jazzy. 

“Hey baby girl, are you okay? Mommy isn't here.” She climbed on the bed beside Jensen and snuggled next to him, “I know daddy, she’s in the other room, crying like when my other daddy died. She’s really sad. I hear her cry every night. Are you going to die too?” 

Jensen’s heart broke, hearing that you cried every night, “No baby girl I’m not. I’m okay. Mommy is just sad because I’m hurt and she can’t help me. I promise you I’ll make Mommy’s heart better.” “Okay daddy, I love you. I’m going back to bed now.” “I love you too sweetheart, and thank you for letting me know about mommy.” She nodded and left the room. 

Jensen was determined to get to me. He grabbed his crutches and headed towards the guest room. He lightly knocked on the door waiting for me to answer. I couldn’t hear the door through the blanket, pillow and the sobs. 

He opened the door and saw me, head covered and buried in the pillow, he could hear my sobs. Tears fell from his eyes. It broke him to see me so broken, knowing he caused it. He walked to the side of the bed and sat down, lightly touching my back. 

I shot up and looked at him. “Jensen, what are you doing here?” I wiped my face, trying to hide the fact that I had been crying. He lifted my chin with his hand, “Baby, I’m so sorry. I don’t blame you for anything. I fucked up. I took it out on one of the most important people to me, and now I’ve lost you.”

I looked at Jensen, I could see the regret and sadness in his eyes. “Jensen, you haven’t lost me, but you have to talk to me. We won’t make it if you don’t open up to me and talk to me. Why did you take it out on me? If you don’t blame me, then what was it?”

Jensen took a deep breath, “The day I got hurt I had been so distracted. All I wanted to do was be home with you and the kids. When Dee and I first started dating, we acted in the same town and didn’t have children, so being apart wasn’t an issue. After JJ was born it started to get harder, but we made it work. When you and Jazzy came into our lives, I never wanted to leave your side. Especially after everything you two had been through.”

“After I talked to you and you told me about Jazzy I got in my head. Thinking about how lonely she must be feeling and how she’d already lost one daddy and I was sure she was feeling like I left her too. I hated myself for making her feel that way.” I touched Jensen’s arm, “Jensen, she’s okay. I promise.” 

“What about her mommy?” His green eyes, full of regret, looked deeply into mine. “I’m getting there.” My breath hitched, it was hard to look him in his eyes. I swallowed hard, being this close to him I could feel his body heat. My heart rate picked up. Then his hand brushed against my cheek. I leaned into his touch. It had been too long since I felt him. 

Instinctively I leaned closer to him. I could feel his hot breath mixing with mine. “Jensen..” “Y/N..” My lips crashed against his in a kiss that was full of need, regret and love. Oh so much love. His hands tangled into my hair as we deepened the kiss. The pain, sorrow and anger from the past few days was slowly starting to melt away. 

When we finally pulled away from each other, our chests were rising and falling quickly taking in air. “I am so sorry, sweetheart. I never should have taken anything out on you. You and the kids are everything to me. I’d be lost without you five. Please baby, don’t leave me, don’t leave us.” 

“Jensen, you can’t do that to me. You can’t push me away when things get bad. You have to talk to me, if we’re going to make it, we have to deal with things together.” 

“I promise baby, I will never push you away again. I love you sweetheart, so much. I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you if you’ll still have me.” 

I placed my hand on his chest, “Jensen, I love you so much. These past few days have been horrible without you. I hated this distance between us.” He placed his hand on mine, “Then let’s go to our room and go to bed baby.”

I nodded as I helped Jensen stand and we walked back to our room. Once in the room, Jensen closed the door and I helped him back to the bed. He set his crutches to the side, and I slid in the bed. 

Jensen offered me his arm, and I scooted towards him, laying my head on his chest. He kissed the top of my head. “God I love you so much. I can’t believe I almost lost you. I’m so fucking foolish.” 

“Jensen, what really  happened on set? I know you well enough to know what we talked about before didn’t distract you that much.” Jensen sighed, “Well the scene I was shooting involved me saving a little girl about Jazzy’s age. Homelander was using her as bait to get to her parents. He killed her father and the little girl was crying out for her daddy. I had to rescue her, and when I started to grab her all I could think about was Jazzy and how I wanted to protect her and you from Robert. I started to have a panic attack and felt dizzy, lost my balance and fell. I was so embarrassed.” 

“Jensen, having a panic attack isn’t something to be embarrassed about. I’m sorry that scene triggered you and caused you so much pain. We are safe, Jensen. Safe because we have you. I hope you know that little girl in the other room sees you as her daddy. She feels safe with you, with your children. I see you as my partner, my love, my forever, my home. I love you so much Jensen, nothing will ever change that. You saved us not only from Robert, but from our empty life.”

Tears pricked Jensen’s eyes, and he leaned in and placed a soft kiss on my lips. “I see you as my love, my forever, my home too. I see Jazzy as my daughter, you both fit perfectly here with us. I know the road that led us together was paved with heartache and loss, but I am so glad I have both of you.” 

I let out a deep sigh. “Baby, what’s wrong?” Jensen asked softly as he held me tight. “I was so scared seeing you in that hospital. It brought back all those buried feelings from when I lost Joshua. I was so scared I was going to lose you too. Then I’d have to go home and tell our babies you weren’t coming home. I didn’t know how I was going to survive that.” 

Jensen kissed me and pulled me tightly. “I’m okay, baby. I promise you won’t have to have that conversation with them.” 

I smiled and relaxed against him. “Oh, Y/N, can we get rid of the nurses now? They are great, but do I really need a nurse when I have you?” “Maybe. You don’t like it when Terri or Angela give you a bath?” I giggled. “You know what, no.” He laughed. “The only woman I want to see all of this is you, my love.” 

“Okay, I’ll call the agency tomorrow. Besides with you doing physical therapy you should be back moving around by yourself soon. I think we can tell them goodbye if you’re sure.” 

“Oh yes, I’m positive.” He kissed me again. “Hey sweetheart, do you think tomorrow you can help me take a shower?” He wiggled his eyebrows. “I’d love to, now let’s go to sleep.” 

“Good night sweetheart, I love you.” “Good night, Jens. I love you too.” We kissed again and then I fell into a peaceful sleep, wrapped in his arms. 

The next morning when I woke up I woke up with Jensen’s strong arms still wrapped around me. I snuggled closer to him and nudged him awake. “Jens, I need to get up and get the kids ready for school.” “Just five more minutes, please.” He said in a gruff voice, pulling me closer to him. 

About an hour later I was heading out the door with the kids to get them to school. Jensen was up and doing his physical therapy. He had a doctor’s appointment later in the afternoon, so he wanted to shower and be ready. 

When I got back home his physical therapist was getting ready to leave. I stopped him to check on Jensen’s progress. He told me Jensen was doing really well and he thought Jensen would be released back to work in another week or two. He just wouldn’t be able to do any stunts for another few months. 

Walking into our shared room I saw Jensen sitting on the bed without his shirt on. I bit my lip. God he was a gorgeous man, even covered in sweat from his workout. “You ready for your shower, baby?’

“More than ready.” He smiled. I put the plastic over his cast and started the water for him. He had a towel wrapped around his hips that left nothing to the imagination. My thighs clenched together. 

Seeing Jensen practically naked had my body reacting in ways that even made me blush. 

Jensen smirked, “Like what you see, darlin’?” 

I bit my lip, “God yes.” I let out a breath. Jensen pulled me closer and kissed me deeply. Biting my lower lip as he pulled back. 

I set up the shower seat for him. I knew it was easier for him to navigate the shower sitting down. I helped him in and handed him the showerhead. His bottom lip poked out in a pout. I chuckled, “What’s wrong?” “I thought you were going to help me.” “Jens, in order for me to help you I have to get in the shower, and I have my clothes on.” Jensen smirked, “So take them off.” 

I could see his length growing and my desire building. I slowly started to remove my clothes. My heart beating wildly in my chest. 

With my clothes off I climbed in the shower with Jensen. His eyes scanned my body and I blushed. “God you’re gorgeous, baby. Come ‘ere.” He pulled me close to him and I stood between his legs. His length was rock hard as it pressed against my thigh.

Jensen pulled my lips to his and kissed me. His hand snaked up my thighs and fingers went in between my folds. He smirked against my lips feeling how wet I was. I gasped as his fingers slid inside me, setting a rhythmic pace as he hooked his fingers up. 

My hips are moving in tandem with him. My hands rested on his shoulders as I began to give into the pleasure that was moving through my body. It had been so long since he touched me and I was embarrassed I was already close. 

I bit my lip to stifle the moan, “Jens, oh fuck, I’m close.” His fingers hooked up and he started rubbing my clit, “Let go for me baby.” His lips attached to my nipples, and he sucked hard. I screamed in pleasure. “Oh fuck, Jensen! I’m cumming.” My head fell backwards as his hands continued to work their magic. 

My legs began to shake and I wasn’t sure how much more I could take. “Jensen, I need you.” I breathed out. Jensen pumped his length a few times and I straddled him, taking every inch inside. I placed my hands on his shoulders to help steady myself. As Jensen adjusted and pushed further inside we both moaned. 

“God, you feel so good baby.” Jensen’s head laid in the crook of my neck. I began to move my hips and grind down on him. “Yes, baby! Keep doing that.” He kissed my lips in a deep, passionate kiss. 

I felt I needed more leverage so I got up, pulling a groan from him, then I sat with my back against his chest. I took his length in hand and guided him in. My legs placed firmly on the ground in between his. I used his thighs to steady my hands as I continued to bounce up and down. Each bounce pulled Jensen closer to his release. 

“Fuck! That feels so good, Y/N. Don’t stop, oh fuck! I’m gonna cum.” Jensen grabbed my hips and with a grunt I felt his load shooting inside me. His body trembling under mine as he filled me up. 

When he was done I stood up, cleaned myself and him up, and turned off the water. Jensen stood with my help, wrapped his arms around me and kissed me deeply. “That was amazing, baby. It’s been far too long.” I kissed his lips, “Yes it was, and yes it has been.” 

“Best shower sex I’ve ever had.” Jensen chuckled. “I’m glad, it definitely was for me too.” 

After we got dressed, Jensen pulled me in for a kiss. “I love you, Y/N. Thank you for not giving up on me, on us.” I lightly touched his chest, “Jensen, I will always fight for you, for us. I love you too.”

We left our shared room together, heading downstairs to leave for Jensen’s appointment. No matter what the doctor said today, I know we both will tackle it together. 

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[oodlyenough]

more arcane s2 thoughts in no particular order. this is pretty negative. woops

Cait, Vi, Caitvi

despite being what initially got me watching to begin with caitvi just never ended up being my primary interest with this show, so going into s2 it wasn't like I had very well formulated expectations or hopes. I think if I had I would maybe feel disappointed? They had some nice moments, they got the kiss and the sex scene, they're clearly endgame, etc, and that's nice, but it also felt like their relationship was so ... never really the star of the show or focus of the story to the extent I expected it to be. Did they even get a big fight-together battle-couple moment in the last ep, I don't think so? I didn't find the resolution to their Act 1 breakup especially good, I think Caitlyn owed Vi an apology and Vi deserved to be angry for longer than ten seconds.

I generally feel across both seasons that Vi's pain and trauma is rarely given as much weight as other characters', I was pretty underwhelmed by Caitlyn's dictator arc after being extremely interested in it at the end of act 1...

I dunno. I hope their stans liked it and are satisfied getting to see them kiss and have sex and be together and I wouldn't downplay the significance of The Couple in Arcane being a lesbian couple. But I wasn't personally very compelled or moved by it.

Jinx

Like the above I'm not a Jinx academic by any means but I think if I were I would be frustrated by how cyclical her arc was in season 2. And no, having Silco show up to be like "it's a cycle" doesn't really justify the narrative interludes. Isha is a hard sell of a character for me because I don't ... generally want little kid characters around ... and I found Jinx (basically) looking straight into the camera to say "gee you are just like me, Powder, when I was a little kid, which reminds me of being Powder, is this how Silco felt, is this how Vi felt" to be hamfisted. But some of the scenes with the two of 'em and Sevika were cute ... only for Isha to die and Jinx to be depressed, again, and then come through the other side, again, and then "die", again. Like if we wanted to deal with depressed Jinx we started off s2 that way...

I've seen other posts by Jinx fans that articulate much better the ways in which she goes from the driving plot force in s1 and main autonomous actor to just kind of being wafted around by plot in season 2 so I won't repeat them. But I think they are right. I also question the way her mental illness was portrayed -- or rather wasn't... -- in season 2. Powder in the AU showing no sign of illness (despite baby Powder in the main timeline already having some of that going on, pre-Vander death)... I mean, sure, she's got a support system etc in that world, and one can argue we don't spend enough time with AU Powder to necessarily see it, but combined with the Isha stuff it just kind of felt like a weird message.

Sevika

I love Sevika, one of my faves from s1. I was so excited she seemed to get a bigger role in act 1 and then in the first ep of act 2. And then she never spoke again. What the hell man... like damn... really?????!? Not a WORD in act 3? I'm sure this was some of the stuff they trimmed to get that finale down to 50 minutes but god that sucks, so much, in ways a wordless shot of her in the council chamber can't really resolve. Which leads me to

Piltover-Zaun

I have to admit I don't think the class politics in s1 are as good as they were reported to be, so I didn't have high hopes, but MAN is Piltover going "hey we need cannon fodder <3 thanks" not... a reasonable resolution... especially after an indeterminate time of Piltover being EVEN MORE oppressive with Caitlyn enforcing martial law. It was sooooooooo ridiculous. Also, lol @ the show acting like hextech is solely responsible for the suffering of the undercity. If only Vi, Jayce and Viktor weren't around we'd have a equitable utopia. Sure Jan.

Sky

One of the most offensively written female characters I've seen in recent media. A spectacular, zero-effort failure from the writers. What a horrible decision to write this poor girl, a Black woman no less, and give her absolutely no characterization outside of an unrequited crush on a gay white man. In season 1 I could forgive most of it because a show like Arcane needs redshirts and it's just unfortunate they made this particular redshirt a young Black woman. There are so many other complex and developed women in the show, I thought, they can afford to have some minor ones who aren't.

But oh my god season 2. The ghost hallucination which they never even clarify as being "really" Sky or just being the Hexcore or just being his own imagination of guilt because neither the show nor Viktor give enough of a fuck to explain fhglakhdglh. Even posthumously she barely has any dialogue except to reference off-screen conversations with Viktor we never see them have and then die again. "No you won't" ?????? It is ridiculous that they wrote this.

[lynzishell]

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Transcript below the cut:

Atlas: Dawn. Dawn: I know. Atlas: You crossed so many lines. Dawn: I know, okay? I know.

Atlas: Why didn’t you come to me? We could’ve talked it through before you did anything. Dawn: I… I didn’t think you’d understand. Atlas: That’s fair. I’m not sure I do. Dawn: Exactly.

Atlas: So, help me understand then. Explain it to me. Dawn: [sighs] Getting married and having a baby… it brought up a lot of feelings I wasn’t prepared for. Atlas: What kind of feelings?

Dawn: Feelings about mom. I hated that she wasn’t there, that she wouldn’t want to be, that she doesn’t even know she has a granddaughter and probably never will. I was sad and I was angry, and some days I even missed her which really caught me off guard. I started to wish that she was there, that she’d realize the ways she failed us and show up wanting to make amends.

Atlas: Why didn’t you tell me any of this? Dawn: [shrugs] I didn’t want to admit it, kept telling myself that I was being silly, that I should stop clinging to this idea of a mother that I’ll never have.   Atlas: What about Megan? I know she’s not your mom, but she loves you and she stepped in to help.

Dawn: I know. And I’m so grateful, I really am, but I couldn’t appreciate it at the time. Her being there almost made it more obvious what I was lacking, like it was being shoved in my face. This is going to sound so childish, but I didn’t want those things with her, I wanted them with my own mom, and I hated that I couldn’t have that. I became resentful, and then I felt guilty for not appreciating her.

Atlas: I had no idea.

Dawn: That’s because I didn’t want you to. I didn’t want anyone to. I thought if I told anyone, they’d think I was awful, so I kept it to myself, and it ate me up. And when Phoenix got that letter from his dad, it was like everything I wanted was being handed to him, and he wanted to just throw it away. I couldn’t let it go, and I let all that shit I’d been carrying cloud my judgement.

Atlas: Talk about shit timing. I can’t imagine how hard that must have been.

Dawn: Yeah. It was not my finest hour. Atlas: So, how are things now?

Dawn: They’re good. Phoenix spent a few days in Chestnut Ridge, got to meet his brother and talk things out with his dad. It was a struggle at first, but things are going well. He’s decided to give his dad a chance. He says it’s for Danny, because he wants to stay in touch with him, but I think it’s more than that.

Atlas: And you? How are you doing with everything? Dawn: Better. Li referred me to a therapist. I’ve only had one session so far, but I think it will be good for me. Atlas: That’s great. Li sounds like a good friend. Dawn: She is. I’m really glad I met her.

Dawn: So, what about you? You’re married now! Atlas: I know. Who would’ve thought? Dawn: Oh please. I always knew you two would get there eventually. Can’t say I’m not disappointed I didn’t get to be there for it, though. Atlas: I know, but we had to do it our way. And I’m really happy. Dawn: And I’m really happy for you. How is he doing, by the way?

Atlas: I don’t know. He’s struggling a bit. Hasn’t really been himself since we got home. Dawn: Losing Japer really hit him hard, didn’t it? Atlas: Yeah, it did. But I feel like there’s something more going on. Dawn: Like what?

Atlas: I’m not sure, but he’ll talk to me when he’s ready. He always does. Dawn: Ough, I wish I had your patience.

[afreakingdork]

Hi hi! I saw you were doing requests for a small fee of justice!

I don't really have a request, at least not one I can articulate very well 😅

Because all my brain can come up with is "kiss that motherfucker (Donnie) on the forehead!"

Don't know what you can do with that, don't even have to do anything at all. I just support the cause.

Writing Request: Reader x Donnie's Forehead 🤦

LOOK AT YOU GIVING ME A PLACE TO SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT. YOU'VE NEVER HEARD DORK MAKE FUN OF DONNIE'S FOREHEAD AND YOU NEVER WILL. BOOM NOW YOU LET ME MAKE THAT CANON!

Since the poll closes in the AM, I'm about to close up shop seeing as I'll have sleep until then, but please, keep sharing and voting Hassan/Mikey in this poll. Tell all your friends! Fandom or not!

ᴰᶦˢᶜˡᵃᶦᵐᵉʳ: ᴵ ᵃᵐ ⁿᵒᵗ ᶦⁿ ᵃⁿʸʷᵃʸ ᵃˢˢᵒᶜᶦᵃᵗᵉᵈ ᵒʳ ᵉⁿᵈᵒʳˢᵉᵈ ᵇʸ ᵗʰᵉ ᶜᵒᵐᵖᵉᵗᶦᵗᶦᵒⁿ ᵒʳ ᶦᵗˢ ᶜᵒⁿᵗᵉˢᵗᵃⁿᵗˢ.

All ages sweetness below!

"And Mikey said 'you know, like you don't have rhythm." What did he mean?" You swayed a little in demonstration.

Donnie watched on.

Quiet.

Too Quiet.

"Donatello." You warned.

"You move with the rhythm of your heart." He spoke with faux sweetness and moved to grab your hand.

You let him lead you in a dancing circle, but didn't feel the least bit whisked away.

"You're a giving dance partner." He tried again.

He meant that.

When you found out he loved to dance, you broke out of your shell to join him. He'd been patient in the process, but you had also tried your hardest. Even when he wasn't the most patient teacher, the two of you spent long hours working on steps. It meant when you executed a maneuver it came with an even sweeter join that you both bathed in and danced again for.

"A charitable partner all around." He snapped your waist to his and leaned down to steal a kiss.

That helped the most and you returned it.

He pulled away and smiled satisfactorily at his job well done.

"But I don't have rhythm."

His success disappeared in an instance. "Dearest..."

"No, no. Just..." You pushed on him lightly. "Not upset with you."

"Understood." He allowed himself to be moved.

"Give it to me straight."

He nodded this compliance.

"If Mikey noticed and you noticed..."

He waited patiently.

"How obvious is it to everyone else?"

His cheeks whined with the size of his grimace.

"No way!" You had to walk an angry circle. "Seriously?! Everyone!?"

"It's... been mentioned once before."

"They talk about it all the time!" You bemoaned.

"We dance! We go out! The others see and well... You know how my family is."

"I'm a blight." You hunched in horror. "Oh! Oh!! At Leo's birthday last year! In that club when I went to meet him on the dance floor. When you were getting us drinks! He sent me straight back to our table! He didn't want to be seen with me! Oh no!!"

"That...!" Donnie had never been the best liar and in light of your years together he gave in. "Yes. That was his concern."

"How long!?"

"Pardon?"

"How long have they all known!?" You lurched toward him. "How long have they been embarrassed to be seen with me!?"

"They aren't embarrassed exactly. Maybe something more like... They'd rather distant their obvious association when a groove is involved."

You waited a beat.

Donnie seemed hopeful.

"That's not better!" You squawked.

"Oh, well-!" He sought for another.

"No!" You put your hands on him again and traced the lines of his plastron to soothe yourself. "This sucks. I'm going to be upset about it because I didn't know for, I don't know, ever and that is insanely humiliating, but it's... I know now so..."

"I want to keep dancing with you." He covered your hands loosely so you could keep following lines.

You almost smiled for it. "How have you endured it. You're a literal Bootyyyshaker."

He exhaled affection. "You are a giving dance partner. You are fantastic at mirroring moves. I believe you might also remember a particular night at the roller disco?"

He sought your gaze and when you met, it triggered the memory.

Colored lights and a disco ball set the scene.

You had driven pretty far for the rink and getting your legs for the blades was a learning curve, but there had been a moment at the height of one song where each Hamato fell in line and you glided straight out of a movie.

You returned to Donnie and finally felt a little better. "I was good then?"

"Fantastic. Not a beat missed. You do best with a lead. Your attention to detail when accompanying another is unparalleled. Your tenacity to learn is impeccable."

You leaned into him. "Okay, okay..."

"Better?" He kissed your forehead.

It reminded you of something. "Yeah, we all have that thing."

"We certainly do not all suffer from the same affliction." Donnie was happy to soothe your faults, but insulting his dancing skills was off limits.

You bumped him lightly with your hip. "I meant we all have that thing. That little flaw."

"Right." Donnie's lids lowered with some irritation. "My penchant for correction. Stubbornness or the like."

"Well, no. It's not usually something like that." Your head tilted. "It's not really a big flaw. Not something that requires growth. It's more like something you do that's an annoying habit."

"I can't think of-"

"Or a thing about you. Like how you're forehead is huge."

Donnie's mouth snapped shut.

"Oh! No, I know you know this! You made those gifts once! I can't remember the other two, but Leo's puns! I'm so glad I wasn't around for those."

Your partner's lips flapped.

"But that's still a verbal quirk. I'm trying to think of a physical one..."

He brushed your arms.

"Oh! I know! Mikey's stickers being holographic! It's so annoying when he catches the light and blinds you!" You tapped him as you thought of a good comparison.

Donnie was staring at you like he was about to cry.

Your own features immediately dropped. "Donnie?! Oh no, what's wrong?"

"My forehead's big?"

You stared.

His brows bunched.

The fact that he had the room on his mask to draw them as expressive as he did should have been clue enough.

You checked over him again.

He was steadfast in his desperation.

He really didn't know.

"Oh... Oh, Donnie..." You tried to touch him.

He turned in a dramatic twirl that let tears flick from his face. "I'm hideous!"

"You are not!" You gave chase.

He stormed right around his lab. "Don't look at me!"

"Donnie, no!!"

You double backed and found he was blinding running.

You caught him and he collapsed in your arms. "You're being silly!"

"This is nothing compared to your dancing!"

"Donnie!" You tried to hold him up, but he refused.

He gasped suddenly.

"What?"

"Tic-tac-toe!" He was up and pulled you with him to his computer.

You watched on as he pulled up footage of him demanding from his brother's why there was smudges on his mask.

They all babbled on with obvious guilt, but never gave a response.

Donnie typed at the speed of light and got another video up where they were able to get to his sleeping form in between camera feeds and snickered to themselves as they did something to him.

"I thought it looked suspiciously familiar but I never placed it! They were playing-" He turned horror on you. "-on my head!!"

You forced your lips into a line.

"You'd laugh!? You'd laugh at my shame!"

"No!" You blurted out.

"You would!"

He had been honest with you and the guilt of not doing the same consumed you.

You had to ball you fists to steel yourself.

"It's... It's a funny idea! At least they didn't draw a you-know-what there!"

Donnie paled. "They might have!!"

He was back to his computer and searching through footage.

You watched on as his brow creased.

It was markers of his age.

His intelligence.

His wisdom.

He was undeniably handsome.

His forehead never seemed out of proportion to you, but many others joked about it.

You thought he knew.

Others probably thought the same of you and your dancing.

Oblivious to the obvious until pointed out.

"Donnie..." You fanned your fingers over his bicep.

"In a moment, I think I remember the night. It was after we celebrated the 19th year of Pizza Fest."

"Just for a second..."

"I'm close the date was...? Oh, what year was it!?"

"Please." You squeezed his arm.

He heard your tone.

A clear and concise request had been laid out.

You both agreed to defer when that happened.

He looked to you a little weepy.

"Donnie, I love you." You took his cheeks.

"Even with my big brow, my titanic temple, my fat frons!?"

You pulled him down.

His brows knit a said pair.

You kissed them first.

They didn't budge.

You kissed down the middle.

His brow was still wrinkled.

You kissed each ridge.

His expression loosened.

You kissed with more fervor.

You kissed faster.

You kissed all over his head and with a tenacity that knocked his goggles off.

He had no choice, but to laugh. "Stop, stop!"

"I love you. I love all of you. If you have a big forehead, I love that too because there's more of you to kiss."

He waited out a stubborn tick that had his foot bouncing.

You gave him one last peck on the side of the head.

He scooped you up in a hug. "You'd swear on it? On my life which is yours and thus precious!"

"Obviously!" You giggled.

"Alright..."

You settled against him and felt the faint tightness in his body. "You still want to find that clip though?"

"Yes! I will repay their doodles a thousand fold!! I will mark all their glaring flaws! Aid me!"

You laughed. "Okay, okay, but only for you."

"Who's first? It must be Leo."

"No butt."

"We'll humiliate all his cushions! Switch them for less padding! He'll be uncomfortable until his confrontation with his deformity."

You scolded him about language, but helped him plan his pranks nonetheless.

[kinardsevan]

Okay, wow, I read your thoughts about Tommy coming back and he and Buck getting back together. Thank you for sharing that and all the facts and tidbits you put into it. It is so optimistic (and makes sense) and even made me shed a tear, because so far I have only managed to be sad and angry about how it's been handled, so thanks for posting that and taking the time to writing all that down.

I mean here's the thing:

at the end of the day, I don't know anything more than you do. Unlike others in the fandom, I don't know anyone on the show. But as I often reference, what I do know is psychology. (They're giving me a whole diploma for it in a few weeks!) And when I line up all of the information we've been given, things make sense. Still, I have friends who are entirely on the other side of this and think it's great that I have this outlook and are extremely apprehensive. Truth be told, some days I am too. I do waffle back and forth on it, and I stand by the fact that if I'm wrong and they don't rectify this storyline by having it come to fruition, I can almost guarantee I may stop watching. As @rdng1230 got me to say earlier, I don't have hope. I'm hopeful. I don't equate those as the same thing because in order to have hope, I feel like you need something tangible to hold onto, and while that breakdown certainly references some tangible moments, we don't have a payoff on them at this point. However, I feel in saying I'm hopeful suggests there's something of possibility that hasn't been squashed yet. plus, at the end of the day, I'm also irritated with how it was handled. I said repeatedly that I didn't think it was a good idea to make fans wait 4 months for a payoff. Obviously they're holding onto the idea that we'll be over being mad by then and chomping at the bit for answers, but I don't know how likely that is. Yes, I'm less angry than I was 3 weeks ago, but I still feel really ambivalent. obviously things could always change, but who knows.

anyway, I'm rambling again. that's all. thanks for coming to my TED talk 😂😂

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

GOSHHH!!

I'm on my knees reading your stuff, you're soooo good. I finally found someone who writes Ivy in a delightful way.

Could you please write some Ivy down bad for reader when they meet in the waiting room after both of them lost their flight. It's freezing outside and they shared a cup of coffe. Something cute and a little smut, maybe?

Thank you honey :))

Thank you, darling! Means so much. 🤍✨

Missed flights

You knew you should have left yourself more time. New airports were always so much more confusing and now with only minutes to spare you were running to the gates as fast as you could. Trying to not run into anyone. “Final call to flight DF1465 all passengers please get to the gate immediately”. You cursed beneath your breath, skimming your eyes over the digital display. Before breaking into a run once more.

Slamming into someone’s side, losing your balance but not having enough time to spare. “I need to get on”, the man in front of you hands his ticket to the lady only to be met with a sharp shake of the head. “Gates are closed”. You step to the side of him, “Come on now, you just made the last call”, you frown. “Nothing can be done miss”, she shrugged, looking down at her computer.

“Well if you stopped bitching we would have already been on the flight”, the male grunted. “Is there a way to get on another plane now or anything?”, you asked, pleading, “I need to be on that plane”, “Well as all have wishes, no flight till Friday”, she clapped back. “Watch your tone”, the guy pointed at her right as she turned to leave, closing the gates.

You let your bag fall, just watching her go, already thinking of all the changes you would have to make. “Hey, sorry I bumped into you pretty hard beforehand”, the same guy gently reached out. You blinked looking at his blue eyes, “Yeah… don’t remember”, you chuckled softly. “Don’t tell me that I gave you a concussion?”, he frowned slightly shaking his head. “No, don’t worry”, you reassured him. “Well, this fucking sucks”, he grunted, running a hand over his face. “Also in a rush to get back?”, you looked at him sympathetically. “Oh, you can’t even imagine”, he sighed, “Ivy”. “My pleasure, YN”, you shook his head, “we can always try the front desk”, you motioned behind you.

That’s where you two spent the remaining 4h trying and fighting and arguing with every single person who came forward. Nothing. No one could give you any information and the closest flight was in 24h. “Let’s just go”, you pulled at his hand, feeling the exhaustion slowly settling in. Ivy shot the lady one more angry look before turning to you. “When was the last time you ate?”, he asked picking up his bag, before reaching for yours, muttering a quiet “let me”, before he took it from your hands. “Don’t remember”, you shrugged, “Well, we are eating then”, Ivy motioned for you to walk forward before following behind.

The little cafe you two found outside the airport was nearly empty, giving you both a much-needed rest and a space to talk. “We can book this?”, you turned your phone to Ivy showing him the room you had managed to find. “Not scared I’m a sociopath or anything?”, he chuckled taking a sip of his beer. You tilted your head to the side, “You don’t give me scary vibes”, you shrugged, “and if you do kidnap me at least you’re handsome”, “You think I’m handsome?”,’ a shit-eating grip spread across his face. “I’m sure that you know that you are”, you chuckled, “Oh, I do”, Ivy nodded, making you throw your head up as you laughed, “Humble much?”.

Ivy reached out, brushing a strand of hair away from your face, thumb brushing your cheek, “You’re really pretty”, your cheeks instantly grew pink as you batted his hand away. “You’re just saying that so that we would be in the same room”, you rolled your eyes. “Absolutely, but mostly because you’re really pretty”, Ivy mused, clinking your beers together. Eyes fully focused on you.

[wxwrites]

Issues

(pitfighter!vi x reader, f!reader, fluff & light angst)

(a little self indulgent because i wish cait apologized properly)

you and vi get into a fight at the warehouse she fights in, chaos ensues, and you find yourselves locked in a storage closet. apologies and reconciliation come about as you pour your love and feelings into each other.

“No, Violet, I really just don’t fucking understand it!” you snap, storming through the hallways of the abandoned warehouse. Vi is following behind you, equally just as angry, the sound of her boots clanking across the cement floors. 

“Of course you don’t! It’s not like you’ve even tried to!” she exclaims, shoving her hands into the pockets of her leather jacket. You stop in your tracks as soon as the words leave her mouth, causing her to bump into your back. You step forward briefly before whipping around to glare at her.

“Me? You’ve been shit-faced all day! How can you say that I’m not trying?” you ask, voice cracking as the anger continues to build inside of you. She scoffs and rolls her eyes at your comment, pushing her way past you, knocking into your shoulder on the way. 

You sigh and concede, following in step behind her. There’s a loud cry from the other end of the hallway, and then a stampede of footsteps following. As they funnel towards both of you, roars and chants pound through the space. She yanks you into a nearby storage closet, slamming the door behind you.

“What the fuck?” you gasp, coughing as your back hits the door. You both hear crashes and loud clamors as the crowd moves down the hallway, items and furniture slamming around. “What’s happening?” You yell over the thundering voices and the bangs against the door. She shakes her head and shrugs, “New champion, maybe?” she suggests, raising her voice over the commotion; but otherwise looks clueless. 

You huff angrily for the next ten… twenty minutes? You’re not sure, but you realize that by the end of it, you’re both sitting on the ground, and she’s drunkenly slumped onto your shoulder. You want to shrug her off, wake her up, do anything to get rid of her infuriating touch. But it’s hard. It’s hard when she looks so peaceful as she sleeps. It’s hard when you know that being asleep is the only time she isn’t plagued by her devastating insecurities.

Eventually, the weight becomes too much to bear on your already sore shoulders. You stroke her hair gently and coax her out of her slumber with a quiet “Vi, Vi, c’mon,” speaking like a broken record. She groans and pulls off of your shoulder, shaking the blurriness out of her eyes. “Are you okay?” you ask gently, reaching down to cup her cheek and tilt her head back slightly, giving you a better look at her disheveled state. 

“Violet,” you say firmly, stroking your thumb over her cheek. She hums out quietly, chasing the feeling of your palm. “Yeah, yeah ‘m good,” she mumbles, pressing a sloppy kiss to your palm, smearing the runny black makeup into your hand. 

You smile warmly at the affection, the previous fight almost completely forgotten. You sigh deeply as you straighten her up, bracing your hands on her shoulders. “We need to get home,” you mumble, thumbing over the runny black streaks on her face. She sniffs quietly and nods, allowing you to pull her up to her feet. She stumbles slightly, pressing her hands to your shoulders as she stabilizes herself. 

You reach for the door handle and turn it, attempting to push through. The rickety door refuses to budge, causing you to huff out in frustration. She notices your frustration and gently pulls you away, taking her own shot at forcing the door open. Her attempts are futile as it remains cemented shut. She crashes her body into it, attempting to brute-force her way through, and ultimately fails. 

“Vi, c’mon, it’s not gonna move,” you state, gently tugging her back by her bicep. “You’re gonna hurt yourself,” the words ring through her ears, causing her to back off and away from the door. 

“Must’ve destroyed the place earlier, ” she comments, words stringing together a little more coherently this time. 

You nod quietly, letting out a tired sigh as you slump back onto the floor. She settles on the rough ground next to you, your arms brushing together. 

You sit in a tense silence, both wanting to address the argument, but neither wanting to deal with the onslaught of emotions. 

Minutes pass before Vi finally opens her mouth, sucking in a deep breath first, before; “I’m sorry… about earlier,” she mutters, picking at the skin surrounding her fingernails. 

You reach out and lovingly grab her hand, pulling it away from the self destructive action. As you rub your fingers over hers gently, you mumble back, “I just hate when you get like this, y’know… l-like you get so cold and distant,” you stammer.

She sighs deeply and nods her head, running a frustrated hand over her face. “I know, IーI don’t have an excuse or a reason,” she says, and you don’t miss the frustrated tone. Vi finally turns her head so that she can meet your eyes, frowning slightly.

“...and I’m also sorry,” you reply after a beat, “I shouldn’t have yelled at you earlier,” you say, pulling her hand up to press a gentle kiss to her knuckles. 

She shakes her head, “No, no, I was being an asshole and you really didn’t deserve it,” she deflects, causing you to frown. “That doesn’t give me the right to snap at you like that, I should’ve just walked away first. Or.. or at least said something before it got to that point,” you reply, leaning forward to press your foreheads together. 

You reach up to cup her cheek gently, swiping your thumb through some of the remaining black ink. “We really need to work on this, okay? We can’t keep fighting, my love,” you say firmly, but there’s an unmistakable tone of gentleness and adoration in your voice. 

She nods immediately and sniffles, causing you to notice the stray tears that have rolled down her cheeks. You give her a sweet smile as you wipe them away tenderly, pressing your lips beneath her eyes, and onto her nose. She lets out a quiet, almost inaudible chuckle as your eyelashes flutter against her skin. 

“You’re too sweet for me, angel,” she mutters, catching your lips with hers. You grin against her mouth, stroking your hand through her hair. She wraps a strong arm around your waist and pulls you into her lap, enveloping you in a tight embrace. She inhales deeply, relishing in your comforting and affectionate presence.

“I love you so much,” she mumbles, pressing a few fleeting kisses to your collarbones. You wrap one arm around her neck and use your other hand to push her bangs back, caressing her forehead with your lips tenderly. “I love you more than words could ever say,” you respond, giving her another soft smile.

[the-jennisms]

I have said in multiple posts that I greatly dislike Varric going after Solas and that it doesn’t make sense for the Inquisitor to send Varric.

That said. I can see Varric wanting to go.

And it all comes back to Anders.

Veilguard’s spoilers ahead!

I’ve seen some people upset that Varric seems like a bottomless well of forgiveness for Solas but spoke with so much contempt about Anders. And I get why people would be upset at something that appears to be a contradiction but the way I understand Varric, the only reason that I could see him going after Solas, is because of Anders.

When we see Varric in Inquisition, the mage rebellion is in full swing. It’s been a few years since Anders betrayed all his friends. Lied to them, used them, and caused them all to have to run from Kirkwall. Varric’s home. The only place he wants to be. And Varric is still bitter as hell. Understandably. I was angry and bitter too. (I romanced Anders and he tricked me into blowing up a church. Fuck the chantry but still)

We hear Varric say a few unkind things at Anders expense in Inquisition but again, I feel that Varric has a right to feel angry and betrayed. Varric is surrounded by reminders of what Anders did. So many people dead, dying, starving, suffering.

Now we don’t see this next bit, we see Varric in Inquisition then Varric on the hunt for Solas. Not so much the middle but. So unless Varric says something that contradicts any of this in the comics or whatever, thes are my thoughts about how Varric gets from point a to b.

First and foremost, Varric doesn’t just blame Anders. As more and more time goes by, he blames himself. We do see this in Inquisition. He blames himself for uncovering corypheus, for the lyrium dagger, for Hawke in danger.

But over time, I think he’d start blaming himself more and more for Anders. Beyond just him introducing Anders to Hawke.

Because he knew Anders was spiraling. They all knew. And no one did anything to help. Not really. He bribed thugs to keep them away from Anders’ clinic, he tried to help him engage with elaborate ‘revenge fantasies’ as a way to blow off steam, tried to be his friend. But he didn’t do anything.

He knew Anders was getting worse. And he didn’t stop it. None of them did. They all ignored it until it was too late.

Now this isn’t fair to Varric, There isn’t much Varric himself could have done to help Anders. What does Varric know about separating a mage and a spirit? Curing an abomination? Basically nothing.

But feelings don’t have brains. Varric didn’t help his friend when he knew Anders needed it.

Dragon Age Veilguard’s main themes are about regret. And the reason Varric goes after Solas is, appropriately enough, because of his.

He failed last time. He failed Anders.

And now he sees another friend, spiraling. About to do something awful because they’ve convinced them self that it’s the only way. The same pattern. Hauntingly familiar. More urgency is added to this if the Inquisitor is in love with Solas, if Hawke loved Anders.

I never got quite the same feeling of friendship between Varric and the Inquisitor throughout most of Inquisition because Varric saw them as larger than life. More of a legend than a person. We do catch a glimpse of a more friendly relationship in Trespasser, when he’s spoiling the shit out of them like he does with all his friends. His relationship with the Inquisitor is different, but they are friends.

Varric’s desire to convince Solas to stop exists regardless of the Inquisitor’s resolve. But in the case of a Lavellan that loves Solas? It adds a whole new layer to Varric’s decision to try. Because he sees another friend friend suffering and knows she misses him.

And this time Varric would be desperate not to fail.

This time he’d do more. This time he won’t ignore the problem. This time things will be different.

And he fails.

Or he succeeds.

That depends in you, the player. It depends on Rook.

If you manage to get Solas to stop. To reunite with the Inquisitor, Varric wins. The only reason Rook could have done all this to begin with is because Varric got them there. Varric saved his friend. It cost him, but he did it. And he knew it could cost him.

On the way to the ritual site he something to the effect of ‘if we fight Solas, we’re all dead’ He knows he can’t fight Solas into submission. All he can do is try to talk. And even then. He knows.

“Take care of the team for me.”

He fucking knew. He’s not stupid.

He knew. But he wanted to save Solas. To help the inquisitor. To save the world he loves, because the people he loves live in it.

I’ve gotten 3 of Veilguard’s endings so far.

The one where you trick Solas, and the two redeem endings. I’m not bothering with the fight one.

While the trick ending feels an appropriate and karmic punishment for Solas, I cant have that be my ending.

Because of Varric.

I can’t let him die for nothing. His last wish, denied.

So that bald bitch is getting put it the path to redemption even if I have to drag his pretentious ass kicking and screaming. He’s gonna spend the rest of eternity protecting the world that Varric loved. Warts and all.

Now, as I said earlier. This is just my interpretation of Varric, your mileage may vary. But this is how I see it, as far as Varric’s role in Veilguard and how I feel Anders was a pivotal player in Varric’s choices.

[enha-roza]

HOW MAKNAE LINE FOUND OUT

Enhypen 8thmember!oc

synopsis : How the maknae line found out and reacted to Roza and Hyung line dating.

wc : 1.8k

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: *✧

Jungwon : The members agreed if anyone in the maknae line was gonna find out first it should be Jungwon. He’s the leader and it makes sense he should know for the dynamic of the team. It had been a month since they started dating and thought now would be a good time to tell Jungwon. The five of them were gathered in Roza’s room when they messaged Jungwon telling him to come see them.

“Hey, what's up?” Jungwon said, clearly confused as he was greeted by the five members waiting for him. “Umm, we wanted to talk to you about something…” Roza said quietly. Jungwon felt a little scared, was he in trouble or were they angry at him. He didn't know. “Is something wrong?” “no.. it's about something important. Sit down” Jungwon sat down next to Roza as Heeseung got ready to speak. “So I'm sure you have been well aware that some of us have had romantic feelings for Roza, Right?” Heeseung started. “Maybe…” Jungwon replied. “Well those feelings have turned into a relationship,” Heeseung continued. “With who?” Jungwon blurted, quickly looking at Roza to find out which member she was dating.

“That's the thing, it's not just one member.” “Wait, now I'm confused? More than one of you is dating Roza?” “all four of us are…” Jake said getting right to the point. “What…” “I know it's a lot to process but it's true and we wanted to let you know first because you're the leader.” Roza said as Jungwon’s mind went into overdrive. “All of you… at the same time?” “yes” they all said at once. “Well that's different, but i guess if it works why not?”

The air in the room was still thick as the members sat in silence. “Was that it?” “yea, that was it…” Roza whispered. “That wasn't as bad as I was expecting. It was kinda obvious you guys like Roza, but this wasn't the outcome I was expecting.” “Was it really that obvious?” Jay said. “I mean kinda, Niki was already suspicious.” “Really, He was?” Heeseung said as he was nervous. “What did he say?” “He said he caught you guys talking about it a couple of weeks ago?” “he was properly spying on us” “Yes i was” the members turn to see Niki at the door. “What are you doing? We're having a private conversation.” “Well you left the door wide open, that's not my fault.” He smirked.

Niki : “What's up?”. “I have a question and I want you to be honest with me”. “Yea dude, of course what up?” Jay said, getting a little concerned. Heeseung took a deep breath as he calmed his nerves before speaking. “How would you feel about us dating Roza… like at the same time?”. “You mean like us four all dating Roza together…” Jay said, clarifying what he heard. “Yeah, I don't know. Heeseung and I brought it up last night and it truly doesn't sound like a bad idea knowing how we all feel about her. This might be the best solution”. Heeseung nodded his head in agreement with Jake.

Niki stood outside the door as the older members talked amongst themself. Niki wasn't surprised at all. He had a hunch that at least two of them liked Roza but all of them. That was a little surprising. As Niki continued to listen through the door he heard them finishing up their talk and quickly went back to his room. Later that week he made his way to Jungwon's room to talk to him about what he found out.

“Hyung, can I talk to you?” “yeah what's up?” Niki braced himself as he knew what he was gonna say would sound a little weird. “I'm pretty sure the hyung’s like Roza…” “really, you think?” “well i don't think i know…” “wait what! How?” “I overheard them talking about it the other day.” Jungwon sat there confused. “All of them?” “Yeah, I think so?” “That's interesting,” Jungwon said, eyebrows furrowed together. “Well I guess we'll just have to see what happens with that then…” “What's the probability that they all date her” Niki said, a smirk on his face. “I'm gonna say pretty low… doesn't seem likely to me. Now leave my room.” Niki got up leaving Jungwon alone.

“That's the thing, it's not just one member.” “Wait, now I'm confused? More than one of you is dating Roza?” “all four of us are…” Jake said getting right to the point. “What…” “I know it's a lot to process but it's true and we wanted to let you know first because you're the leader.” Roza said as Jungwon’s mind went into overdrive. “All of you… at the same time?” “yes” they all said at once. “Well that's different, but i guess if it works why not?”

Niki had just finished gaming when he overheard the members talking. “What are they doing?” walking towards the sound, he was surprised to find the members all talking with the door wide open. He stood there and continued to listen as they talked.

“I mean kinda, Niki was already suspicious.” “Really, He was?” Heeseung said as he was nervous. “What did he say?” “He said he caught you guys talking about it a couple of weeks ago?” “he was properly spying on us”

“Yes i was” the members turn to see Niki at the door. “What are you doing? We're having a private conversation.” “Well you left the door wide open, that's not my fault.” He smirked. He watched as the Hyung line began to argue about who left it open. “It was probably Jake,” Jay pointed. “It wasn't me! It was probably Sunghoon!” Jake yelled back. Niki looked at Roza who called him over to join her and Jungwon on her bed. “So you already knew?” Roza questioned. “Not fully, but I had a hunch that was what was happening. You guys also were not subtle at all… just saying.” He laughed.

“Oh well, at least you know… only Sooyoung and Sunoo left.” She whispered. The four older boys were still squabbling when Roza told them to leave. “Wait, why?” Heeseung said as all four look equally confused. “I want time with my maknae’s. Now go.” "that's not fair…” Jake pouted. “Too bad!” Niki laughed. “Noona likes us more…” Jungwon smirked as the four hesitated to leave but eventually did. Roza, Jungwon and Niki continued to laugh as they heard them talking outside. “Can't believe our own girlfriend just kicked us out of her room.” “You like us more right?” Niki questioned. “Oh yeah.” Roza said, the trio giggling amongst themselves.

Sooyoung : Roza and Sooyoung being the only girls in Enhypen meant they were super close, often telling each other any and every secret. That also meant they knew when the other was keeping something from them. Both girls had been sitting in silence, just enjoying each other's company. Sooyoung could tell something was off, Roza kept glancing at her.

“You wanna tell me something?” Sooyoung questioned. Roza, caught off guard, just stared at her. “What no…” “you do i can see it on your face.” Roza hesitated before deciding to talk. “You know how i told you about how i maybe liked Heeseung…” “how you love him?” Sooyoung teased. “shut up…” Roza laughed shyly before carrying on. “Well I like someone else.” “Wait, who? What about Heeseung!” “just let me explain…” Sooyoung's eyes watching as Roza fought off her nerves. “I like Sunghoon too… and Jake and Jay as well maybe…” Now it was Roza's turn to watch as Sooyoung's brain worked overtime trying to register what she just said.

“You like all four of them?” “yeah, basically…” “Well that wasn't what i expected. I was expecting something more shocking.” She laughed. “I'm dating all four of them..” Roza blurted, Sooyoung looked shocked. “What?” “I'm dating all four of them…” “at the same time?” Roza nodded her head. Silence took over the room. Roza felt nervous, Sooyoung’s face shocked and still. “You're not mad are you. I promise I was gonna tell you sooner, I just forgot. And I wasn't planning for this to happen, it just happened, I swear-” Sooyoung grabbed Roza’s hands stopping her rambling.

“Hold on, I'm not mad. I'm just surprised okay…” The reassuring smile on Sooyoung’s face immediately calmed Roza down. “Okay, I just got scared. I didn't know how you were gonna feel.” “I get it. But it makes sense now, that was the big news I was expecting from you.” “You always read me like a book, don't you?” “I have my hunches.” both girls lying down on Sooyoung's bed giggling. “So how long have you guys been dating?” “I would say close to a month I think?” Roza could see Sooyoung’s smirking creeping onto her face.

“What?” “have you kissed any of them yet?” Roza rolled her eyes, a blush spreading across her face. “Maybe…” “It was Heeseung wasn't it?” “how did you know?” Roza questioned. “let's just say Niki caught you two in the dressing room a couple of days ago..” Sooyoung laughed as Roza sat up shocked. “Niki can't keep his mouth shut can he!” She half shouted. “No, I don't think he can.” Sooyoung watched as Roza got up quickly leaving her room. “Where are you going?” “I need to tell Sunoo before Niki does.”

Sunoo : Sunoo was coming out of the bathroom after doing a face-mask when Roza came running towards him and pushed him back inside the bathroom. “Woah, what's happening?” He questioned as Roza locked that door. “I need to tell you something.” “Yeah, what is it?” “I'm dating Heeseung-” “what!” Sunoo shouted, cutting Roza off before she could finish. “Wait! I have more to say.” “You just told me you're dating Heeseung. What's more shocking than that?” Roza took a deep breath. “I'm dating Heeseung and Sunghoon-” “what-” She put her hand on Sunoo’s mouth.

“I'm dating, Heeseung and Sunghoon and Jay… and Jake…” Sunoo’s jaw dropped and he just stood in silence. “No way!” “yes.. Way?” a smile now on Sunoo’s face. “You're being serious?” “yes..” “Niki was right!” Roza's face froze. “Niki told you?” “yeah… at first i thought he was lying!” “I'm gonna kill him!” Sunoo grabbed Roza’s hands trying to hold her back as she opened the bathroom door.

“What are you doing?” Both Roza and Sunoo turned to see Heeseung staring at them. “What were you doing in the bathroom together?” “She just told me about your guys little arrangement” Sunoo giggled as Heeseung blushed, realizing what he was talking about. “Oh, yeah.. That.” “Niki told everyone before we could!” Roza said. “He did?” “Yes, he even told Sooyoung before I could.” She pouted. “I'll go talk to him.” Heeseung sighed, going to find the maknae.

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: *✧

a/n : Niki is the maknae 💜 which means he is the Youngest! (iykyk)

[nervouswhizkid]

i. am so mad. i'm mad at season 4 and at every one of you that interacted with my last post abt vld season 3. i know u were all sitting there giggling at me as i walked into s4 knowing full well it was going to destroy me. no WARNING??? i don't even want to sit down and write about it, i'm gonna start crying all over again

i hate that keith left the team. i have to actually practice breathing techniques right now because it's making me so mad omg. i know i said last time that voltron without lance was unthinkable, but i didn't mean that keith should leave. THAT IS NOT WHAT I WANTED!!!! that also means that there was less keith (and klance) content this season, which i take personally. they did that to hurt me specifically. and on top of that, the team was being so mean about keith's wavering priorities. i feel like when anything goes wrong, with lance and keith specifically, everyone is so mean to them??? god forbid they make a mistake or have personal struggles, DAMN

i feel like this screencap says it all.

guys how about let's talk to each other instead of being passive aggressive and icing people out (i do want to point out though that lance seems more sad/disappointed here than anything. my little klance heart is breaking 😭) AND THIS SCENE??

the moment i realized keith was about to walk in my stomach dropped. they all look so angry and here comes Mister Puppy Eyes McGee. i actually can't take it that's my son everyone leave him alone!!! 🤺🤺🤺🤺 i know they had a big group hug after but that's not good enough for me, they should have tied keith up or handcuffed him to the ship, or something. WHY ARE WE LETTING HIM GO WITH THE BLADE OHMYGODDDD

look at this, like??

the camera setup is what gets me. you have keith smiling with all of his friends in the background and then it swaps to a dark, yawning hallway with the most heartbreaking frown on his face. that doesn't look like someone sure of their decisions to me. this boy is in pain!! i'm also just confused about shiro being able to pilot the black lion. maybe confused isn't the right word, but i'm not sure how to describe it. i'm not convinced?? black already denied him, so why now? i kinda feel like it would've been better had he not tried to reconnect with her at the end of last season, because there was no suspense for me this time. the moment he decided to go try again i was like "oh it's gonna work this time isn't it" i get that it's likely black could sense keith's internal struggles and feel him pulling away and maybe that's why she gave shiro a second chance, but shiro becoming the black paladin again gave keith the excuse to leave, because why do they need him now? they have a black paladin, and it's not him. but to me, it should have been. he went through all of that growth last season, and for what?? just to abandon them when things get rocky?? ugh, i hate this!!

i can't even talk about episode 2 without crying, so just know that i'm sitting here with tears streaming down my face as i write this. i was really excited to finally get some closure on the whole pidge-missing-family mystery, considering that's been a subplot since the beginning of the show. as much as this episode broke my heart, i really did love it. they executed it so well. the scene where pidge lands on that planet with the graves? and they're running and pleading for it to not be true, all the flashbacks of cherished memories and images of matt? dropping to her knees in front of his grave in disbelief??

now that's fucking cinema. you best believe i was bawling my eyes out the whole time. i have a little sister and our relationship is very similar to pidge and matt's, so this was just excruciating. i'm very glad he wasn't actually dead, but part of me almost wishes he was? that sounds SO dark, i hope you guys get what i mean. they just put the audience through the absolute wringer and then they're like "oh, actually he's still alive LOL gotcha!" and that makes me really happy for pidge, but man, what a plot twist that would have been. they've been searching for their brother all this time, so you expect some kind of payoff for dedicating so much time to that storyline, but what if he was just dead?? and there was nothing she could do?? wow this is painful to talk about why did i start watching this show if there's a fic where someone explores that possibility then pls share, for some reason i want to torture myself again, i just love how they did this episode. it's very trope-y, but sometimes you just have to lean into it and enjoy, and this was one of those times

the classic fighting-each-other-unknowingly and middle-of-the-fight-identity-reveal? i'll eat it up every time!!

real talk though why is matt so attractive 😏

soo, zarkon is back. fantastic. do he and haggar just not care about each other?? they haven't mentioned the fact that they're married at all and haggar basically still acts like his loyal follower. i'd entertain the thought that maybe it's been so long that it just doesn't really matter to them anymore, but haggar sounded like she actually cared when she realized they were husband and wife last season. but now it's like nothing happened?? i don't expect them to act all lovey-dovey, but there wasn't even a single line of acknowledgment. and i still cannot understand what lotor's plans are. what is his agenda? he wasn’t bothered at all by zarkon reclaiming the throne, and even went to the trouble to make them think he cared. he got that comet and made a couple of ships, but i still don't know what he plans to do with them. also– i can't believe he killed narti!! i know, i was literally just talking about how she specifically frustrated me, but i was so not expecting their death. i get why he did it, but now the rest of his group doesn't trust him.

i'd say that the one bright spot in this season was episode four. that episode was just so silly and gave me so much secondhand-embarrassment i actually had to look away at times LMAO is this where we got the whole Loverboy Lance and Lone Wolf Keith thing from?? i thought that was purely fandom-made, i was not expecting to hear that in an actual episode. talk about whiplash. and we got this ICONIC scene:

he did that wayyy too naturally. lance, buddy, got anything to share?

i really would have loved to see keith with the team during that episode. i can just imagine how he would've reacted to having to do all of that stuff. god, that would've been hysterical!! the images of the parasite in coran's brain made me gag though, was that really necessary🧍‍♀️

i don't have a ton to say about the final episodes. i mean, it was two episodes of them fighting on naxzela. it was definitely a bit of an avengers endgame feeling with all people they helped in previous seasons showing up to fight, so that was cool! i'm curious as to what purpose naxzela served to the galra empire though. were they always planning to use it as a bomb? and couldn't they still do that technically? they only broke the witches connection with it, so all they'd have to do is get another ship out there and she could do it again. what do you even do with a planet like that?? just destroy it?? i also just want to point out that lance said they should get out of there immediately, and nobody listened!! and then five seconds later they were like "oh no, we need to get out of here!" justice for lance i stg ohmygod and LOTOR is on their side now?!?!?! i actually can't wait to see how this plays out!! total transparency, i love atla and i could absolutely see this being a zuko redemption arc situation. it's clear his parents don't like him at all (are they actually heartless or something??) so why not join the other side!! I'M HERE FOR IT

i have to be honest, this definitely wasn't my favorite season. we're getting into the later seasons and i've heard plenty about how the writing goes a little left-field (though i'm not sure when that happens. most people seem to agree season 8 is shit, but i've heard complaints about s6-7 as well) so we'll just have to see! i'm sticking it out as best i can🚶‍♀️‍➡️ onto season 5!

[kays-artstuff]

A question for Martlet, Starlo and Ceroba (and Dalv too, I guess). How do you all feel about the barrier breaking and that Clover’s sacrifice payed off? How do you feel about the fact the last human didn't have to sacrifice themselves to accomplish it? (Obviously asking before they find out that Clover revived).

I'm Incredibly angry at the fact that Clover can't be here with us. I get this bittersweet feeling about us being free, but I don't think I even have the right to be upset as I tried to take Clover's soul too. I'm incredibly grateful to have Kanako back, but I have so many regrets that I need to make up for. I don't think I'd ever be able to meet the child who decided to free us, I wouldn't be able to handle it.

Being on the surface for the first time was amazing! I miss them so much, it's been so long, and since we never got any photos of them all of my attempts at capturing their likeness feels... inaccurate. Clover was a good kid and I kiiiiiiinda wished we were smarter, able to come up with an actual solution that could have kept them alive.

Well, eating surface food was interestin'! We'll be movin' there in a coupla' months when the queen gets things sorted out with the humans. I'm glad the deputy didn't die for nothing, proud of them, really. The deputy was great, and me n' the gang miss 'em. I've met that Frisk kid that freed us, gave me the old cowboy hat we gave up. We spoke a bit and they're a great kid. . .

[bawmbo]

hi, thank you. youve opened a can of worms that cannot be closed

killer is such an interesting character to me. i realized that im not actually too sure where to start but ill start with his timeline;

the idea of a character whose home was slowly destroyed for reasons outside of their control and beyond what they couldve ever thought was real is an incredibly interesting concept to me. i also love psychological horror and reality breaking type of things in relation to it.

to be transformed into something outside of the bounds of definition, and live with the consequences of that, of your loss of autonomy is terrifying. to be named under that total loss is horrifying. to know that everybody will only know your name and never what you went through to get there, that no one would even really care. not that you could get yourself to. theres so much potential with the idea of someone who wants to drain your world of everything for entertainment, and they can forcefully recode it, and they do not care about you because you are just a game character to them. and you are the only one aware of this. and when youre taken out of the timeline by a strange man who can also forcefully shift your control of your situation, everyone will only know you as just as bad as him. as a murderer with no reason. and every time you look at this man (nightmare) all you can feel is the same hatred you feel for yourself. you cant help but feel like youre the same. but this isnt about nightmare as much as i really do love him and writing his character (also super passionate about him)

i have a lot of problems in general with his fandom portrayal and the fact that we either see him as portrayed as either incredibly childish, dumb, very sexualized, etc. and its okay to want to write him how you want to write him, have fun, just not our cup of tea

to us, hes incredibly agile, quiet. hes eerie and incredibly smart and much more aware of whats going on than he lets on. he has lost all respect for anyone who claims theyre more powerful than him, and the way he taunts is by bringing them back to his level (or just doing things he knows pisses them off but not enough to get him killed for it. massive staring problem and wont elaborate on it). and while he can be flirty, where i understand the sexualization comes from.

i think i just crave more in depth characterization from him. how terrifying he is during battles, how he knows the knives he fights with better than the air he breathes and the placement of his feet just as much. how he could be using his magic but its difficult to fight him even without it. the absence of what he could be doing and the presence of how difficult what he is doing showing through. his disconnection from the world around him and how hard it is to realize that everything around you is just codes. that everything is malleable in the wrong hands and everyone lives their lives blissfully unaware of how quickly things can change. and how he could be deeply angry by this but never actually feel it well in his chest like he sees with others. he isnt indifferent, and at some point, somewhere he might express that care. but he cant. and this is it. and he doesnt know how to move on from that.

maybe when he gets close to people his relationships end up showing slow signs of trust. when he does trust people is he surprised if they leave? how scared is he to depend on anyone when no one was ever there to? maybe one day he finally learns to sleep with his chest or back exposed and around people. and his version of hanging out is going "hey i know a spot" and its a 50 minute walk through a closed off forest but its beautiful. and youll probably get some diseases, just gotta hope you dont. the next place is probably a feral cat colony hiding in the sewers hes been feeding and slowly gaining the trust of. hes weird.

in general i really do love complex characters and think about them a lot. and i love seeing how complex characters can be written. i love exploring the possibilities with him and i find that when we either write him or collab stories where we write characters interacting with him, we have a lot of fun and end up thinking about him a lot.

my friend @nullandvalid is a big killer enthusiast too and if you send him an ask you could probably get a big rant too. (also @thaltro. both him and null write killer super well imo. been incredibly fun to listen to them talk about how they write him and engage in writing stories with them) thank you for giving me time to yap about it, ill probably be thinking of more in the meantime but this is all i have atm fhahaha

another one for fun, pretty experimental. this one was one of those "draw regardless of whether or not you think it looks good" things. swore to myself the next utmv character i drew and posted was gonna be fell but here we are. gonna try to get used to posting things that i dont consider my best work. hi killer love you dude

[manticore-fangs]

Drinking schlatts piss

hold.. wait..

cw: piss drinking, thats kinda it.

yeah.. i.. i wanna.. just..

you finally spoke about wanting to drink his piss, he kinda shoved it off. saying "no." which did make you upset, but its fine!

until schlatt started thinking about shoving his cock down your throat and releasing his piss into your throat, making you drink it all.

then he started diving into some porn.. looking at men pissing in their womens pussys and imagining that its him pissing inside you.. then he sees women drinking their mens piss and then women pissing themselves.. it just goes downhill from there.

yeah, okay- he finally mentioned it to you and if you had a tail, it'd be wagging. "you know.. toots.. a few days back you told me 'bout that.. piss shit. im kinda interested in it." he leans back into the couch with his arms crossed over his chest.

"really? you'd be down to let me drink your piss?" you bring yourself closer to him, from sitting next to him to sat on his lap. he was getting red, his brows just angled slightly down, the 'angry' look of his plastered on his face.

"yeah yeah, ill let you. just this once though. tomorrow ill.. drink some water and shit." he waves his hand around trying to take your eyes from his blushing face.

the next day came and schlatt had a jug of water next to his desk while he worked, and also eating oranges. he researched on his phone what would help him piss when you were next to him, snoring away.

oranges, cucumbers, celery, soda, cranberry juice, spicy foods.. hm.. alcohol? hah.

today was just him snacking on the watery foods that would help him take a long piss, slurping down water, soda and cranberry juice.. even though he didnt enjoy the taste of the juice.

finally after around three close to four hours he started to feel like he had to go to the washroom, so he sat up and started searching for you.

you, on the other hand, was scrolling on your phone looking at stupid cats on tiktok. you heard the creaking of the stairs and you looked up to see schlatt coming down from his pit.

schlatt peered over the couch, looking at you laying there. "cmon, bathroom time." he spoke, stepping back up to the bathroom.

you leaped up from your seat, dropping your phone on the couch and stomping up the stairs, following schlatt into the bathroom.

you opened the slightly shut door, seeing schlatt have his pants down made you fall to your knees and crawl over to him while hes sat on the toilet seat.

"cmere doll.. need you to sit back a lil' so i can stand- there we go.." he lowers his boxers slightly and takes his half hard dick out, you open your mouth and wait for him to get over that pee shyness.

finally after about a minute or two you see piss trickle from his tip, right into your mouth. you moan at the sound of schlatts groaning.

"jesus, needed this release.." he sighs, throwing his head back and just moaning from having to hold it in.

one swift motion happened and now his dick is down your throat, your gagging, putting your hands on his thighs while your eyes started to water.

"its okay doll- just give me a minute, almost done- promise." you swear his accent thickened from the pleasure of his dick just pulsing in your throat.

you feel his piss fall down your throat, your gagging and at the same time swallowing. after one more minute, schlatt pulled out. you coughed and choked before taking multiple gulps, needing the air.

schlatt tapped your cheek, motioning you to open your mouth. you did obediently and watched him as he examined your mouth.

"atta girl. took all of my piss down in your stomach, good job." he patted your head and raised his boxers back up on his hips, you started getting up from the floor.

"d- so.. how was it?" you asked through the raspiness of your voice.

it was silent before schlatt just scoffed. "it was fine.. i guess." you watched him go back to his recording room.

yeah, he definitely enjoyed that.

[tinknevertalks]

"Oh my God, I'm back again!" *coughs* to ask you:

Do you wanna write a fanfic? As they say in the film, "The sky's awake, so I'm awake, so we have to play!" It's that brilliant time of year again where we all feel festive (or have festive feelings foist upon us). Fairy lights, foil decorations, foliage inside the house; it's all there waiting for us.

So, do you like writing fic? Do you like reading fic? Do you like going to various places and saying to other fandom peeps, "Omg I love your work!"*

Then this is the fic exchange for you! Today's post is the sign up post. Under the cut will be a list of questions. All you have to do is send me either a DM or an ask with your completed questionnaire then wait for your match!

Last year was a really good laugh. We all had fun, and there was a lovely bunch of new fics available to read (which is always a good thing in that dead time between Christmas and New Year's).

Schedule!

Sign up: 26th Nov - 5th Dec

Matches sent out by 7th Dec

Touching base post: 20th Dec**

Collection open for posting: 26th Dec

Collection reveal: 31st Dec

This is open to anyone in the Sanctuary fandom, regardless of character/shipping preferences. When it comes to fic length, the minimum is 300 words. I don't really wanna give a max (because I know how the muse can get sometimes), but if we cap it around the 2k words mark that should be cool.***

I'll be posting a link to this around the place (and reblogging again this evening for the later crew), and you are more than welcome to message/contact me with any questions, queries or concerns.

Under the cut: the questions!

Username on Tumblr/AO3: (I need a method of contacting you 😊. If you have neither, pop me your email or something? We'll figure it out.)

Things I am comfortable writing: (gen or shippy? Fluff writer or angst? Family feels?)

Things I would not want to write about: (all the things you don't wanna write - characters you dislike, pairings you don't vibe with etc. Also heads up on any triggers you might have - you don't need to explain the whys.)

What I'd like to receive: (go for gold! The more info you can give, the more tailored to you the fic will be.)

What I would not like to receive: (All the things that you do not vibe with, or squick you. Please please please again with any trigger warnings - I don't want a gift to upset you. 😊)

Any other info that doesn't fit in the other questions: (General vibes, could you be a pinch hitter, any thoughts, questions, etc)

--

And that's that. 😊 Thank you for joining in, and see you December 7th with your matches!

*I love when this happens. If this is something you do, keep doing it you sparkling diamond!

**If you find you can't finish, or something comes up that means you have to pull out, please let me know so I can arrange a pinch hitter. I won't be angry or disappointed or anything because this is for fun, and your health (mental and/or physical) is more important.

**Obviously, if you find you go over a bit, don't freak out or anything. This is just for fun, after all.

And that's it! I hope you'll message and join the fun, cause just think - more Sanctuary fanfic is never ever a bad thing!

[zepskies]

First of all, welcome back, Wayne! I'm so glad you're here and it's been so lovely to catch up. And now I'm so excited to see what happens next with this story!!

“Oh, nice try. But I won’t confess to anything until you two have told me a little more about yourself,” Diane announced cheekily. “You talk – I talk. My rules. My game. Let's be honest. You don't have anything to nail me down. Zero, really. You two need this. I'm giving you a win, Sheriff.”

Oooh Diane's playing a tricky game. I sense cat and mouse vibes forming, and now I'm scared for both Beau and the reader...

“If her husband was your partner, you must feel at least a little guilty for fucking his wife as soon as he was six-feet-under. Did you have feelings for her when they were still married? You did, didn’t you? I wonder what he’d say if he were still alive.”

Dear GOD this bitch. 😭 The sad part is I can so see her getting under Beau's skin and picking at his guilt, since she's basically hit the nail on the head as far as his feelings are concerned.

Also I appreciate the authenticity of Grey's Anatomy in Spanish show playing on the screen when we get that first flashback in Mexico lol. "Prince charming," eh? Foreshadowing? 😂

‘Así que, elígeme a mí. Escógeme a mí. Ámame a mí…’

Oh, definitely foreshadowing. 🥰 (Even if it's bittersweet in this context lol)

“But sometimes, just for a blink of an eye, I caught myself wondering, you know? What it would be like to be with you… Hell, I wondered all the damn time. Even on your freaking wedding day,” he confessed. “That’s the kind of horrible person I am. And now, that I am with you and so fucking happy, I feel guilty every time that things worked out the way they did. ‘Cause it does feel like I’m happy that I’m with you, and he’s not.”

It's so painful and messy, but I love how the reader didn't sugar coat things even when she was reassuring him. She was honest about how she had an inkling he felt the way he did, but knew he would never act on it when Randy was alive. I'm also glad she specified that her love for Randy and Beau were never at the same time. It's such an important detail, and yes it sucks that Diane is preying on Beau's insecurities, but hopefully he and the reader come out stronger for having hashed this stuff out.

Beau’s features were stone-cold. He was pissed, radiating that fire burning inside of him for miles. He made the Yellowstone supervolcano look harmless. “Stand up and turn around. Hands behind your back.”

*shivers* Oooh, I love it when he gets angry. 😏

Beau swallowed the thick lump in his throat, forcing the name out that had haunted him all those past years. “It’s Randy.”

Whyyyyyyyyy?!!! 😭😭😭😭 Oh God, this is about to get SO messy, and now I'm biting my nails to see what'll happen next. Especially because there are still quite a few chapters left. Brilliant cliffhanger even though it just about gutted me lolll. Can't wait for Friday!

Polaris – Chapter 8

Series Summary: When Beau Arlen moved to Montana, he left behind a past he wasn’t proud of. But when a series of murders requires the FBI’s help, Sheriff Arlen‘s ghosts come back to haunt him one by one. With a wrong turn waiting at every crossroads, it’s hard to make the right choices and find his way back home – back to you.

Pairing: Beau Arlen x FBI Agent!Reader

Warnings: 18+, fluff, angst, serial killer, Diane is her own warning, Grey's Anatomy & alcoholism, uhm... hard to explain the last one without spoilering. You'll be fine 😂

Word Count: 5.5k

A/N: Oh boy, I'll save you guys long explanations. Life got in the way, so let's just all be glad we're back here 😅 Some of you brilliant sleuths already caught breadcrumbs of my scheming in the last part, so here's The One You've Been Waiting For...

Series Masterlist || Main Masterlist || Tag List

Chapter 8: Chemical Bonds

“Where is she?”

Your boot soles thudded on the floor as you dashed inside the station, your questioning look aimed at Jenny, who leaned against her desk with crossed arms and a stern brow. Beau was hot on your heels, just jogging in behind you. You practically raced him from the car across the parking lot.

“She’s in Interrogation Room 3,” Jenny informed you.

“Is she cuffed?” Beau asked, his voice carrying a hint of anger caused by concern. He had a whole car ride to the department to rile himself up and let his head spin with reasons. None of them soothing; all of them terrifying.

Jenny shook her head. “No. She’s not officially under arrest and hasn’t confessed yet, either. ‘Sides, she willingly came in and just all too happily sat down. She’s clearly playing a game. I’d be careful.”

“Alright, thanks,” Beau said and looked at you. “How you wanna do this?”

“Let’s just go in and talk to her. See what she has to say and what angle she’s playing,” you suggested, and Beau agreed with a nod, both of you falling into step as you headed down the hallway.

“My favorite couple. There you are,” Diane greeted you with a smirk that could only be described as lunacy as soon as you and Beau walked into the interrogation room. “Hope I didn’t disturb your evening.”

“Not at all,” you replied with an easy smile and took a seat across from her, Beau settling down right next to you and leaning back in his chair. “What can we do for you, Diane?”

“Well, I figured I come here before you call in the cavalry. There’s no need for all this drama. I have a feeling you two have enough of that,” she quipped and grinned devilishly at the both of you.

“So, you waltzed in here to confess to twenty-four murders?” Beau arched a disbelieving eyebrow at her.

“Oh, nice try. But I won’t confess to anything until you two have told me a little more about yourself,” Diane announced cheekily. “You talk – I talk. My rules. My game. Let's be honest. You don't have anything to nail me down. Zero, really. You two need this. I'm giving you a win, Sheriff.”

Beau and you shared a look. Neither of you liked this, but you supposed you had to play along if it led to a confession. You nodded at Diane. “Fine, what d’you wanna know?”

Diane grinned in triumphant satisfaction and folded her arms on the metal table, curiously leaning forward. “Look, I think it’s cute you two found each other… after divorce and death, of course. ‘Cause who likes a cheater, right?” she posed theoretically, her smirk getting wider. “I guess, for me at least, it’s just hard to believe there’ve never been any feelings before that. Seems kinda odd to me.”

You smiled wryly. “Well, for me at least, it seems kinda odd and, frankly, hard to believe some psychotic bitch would murder over twenty innocent people just because her husband was a cheating dirtbag. Yet, here we are.”

“Here we are indeed, Agent,” Diane snarked with a pleased smile. “And I’d be wary throwing the word ‘innocent’ around so carelessly. After all, just look at you two. I mean, I’m not saying you’ve planned this little hot love affair, but c'mon! What, no lingering looks? No fluttering hearts, dirty thoughts, or wistful what-ifs?”

You remained cool and held your gaze stern. No quiver of a lip, no twitch of an eye, no flinch of a muscle betrayed you. But Beau must’ve signaled something when Diane’s eyes drifted to him. She tilted her head with a delighted sneer forming on her face. Your heart halted in your chest. You knew she’d locked in on a target like a lioness on the prowl.

“Whoop, Sheriff Arlen, do you have something to tell me? You seem awfully quiet and… shifty,” Diane prodded the tip of her metaphorical knife into his ribcage, prying it open just enough to see inside. “If her husband was your partner, you must feel at least a little guilty for fucking his wife as soon as he was six-feet-under. Did you have feelings for her when they were still married? You did, didn’t you? I wonder what he’d say if he were still alive.”

“Okay, enough,” you snapped and drew a line in the sand, noticing how Beau withdrew more and more upon her words. She was getting to him and enjoying it. “Neither of us has done anything wrong, got it?”

Diane chuckled amusedly. “Sheriff Arlen, you should learn from your girlfriend here. She’s better at acting than you are. Or is it lying?” Her questioning gaze turned to you.

“What d’you want, huh?” you prompted with stern annoyance, hoping to take some heat off of Beau. “You want some weird confession, so you can throw one of us into a bunker?”

She shrugged nonchalantly. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Agent. We’re just having a friendly chat among colleagues, getting to know each other.” She grinned, her icy gray eyes sparkling with devilish joy. She leaned closer to Beau, circling in on him. She could smell he was close to a breaking point and aimed her sledgehammer at him. “Tell me, Sheriff, were you happy when your partner died? I mean, you must’ve been. She was finally free and all yours for the taking. Is that why your marriage crumbled so soon after his death? Why you followed her all the way to Mexico, leaving your family behind? Be honest, did you lead her husband into that warehouse on purpose?”

“Shut up!” Beau yelled and bristled, his voice trembling with anger as did every single muscle of his. He jumped up from his seat and kicked the chair roughly against the wall before storming out and slamming the door loudly behind him.

Shocked, you rose from your seat as well and threw Jenny a worried look through the one-way mirror. As you followed Beau outside, you could still hear Diane’s heinous laugh.

November 2020

‘¿Recuerdas que en tu infancia creías en cuentos de hadas? En la fantasia de lo que podría ser tu vida. Tu vestido blanco, un príncipe azul que te llevaría en sus brazos a un castillo sobre una colina…’

A knock on your door rattled you and snapped your attention away from the small, old TV in your room. The image was grainy at best, and you were sure the television itself was bought sometime in the early 2000s. Yet, you still managed to hook it up to your laptop and stream a few shows. Drinking and watching television was all you had for entertainment down here whenever you were on the lay-low and had some time off.

Oh, and there was the crying, of course.

You hurriedly blew your nose in one of the tissues in your hand and wiped the tears out of your eyes. Bolting into the bathroom first, you did a quick check of your appearance in the stained, wonky mirror. Well, good enough. Who were you trying to impress? You were a grieving widow. People expected you to look like shit.

Beau blinked at you as the door opened. He offered you a friendly smile, although he could tell you had cried again. You never admitted it, always telling him you were fine and brushing away any and all of his concerns. But your red and puffy eyes were hard to hide and even harder to ignore when he stopped by your room at night. It broke his heart every single time.

“Hey, I know you haven’t eaten dinner yet, darlin’,” he said and tried not to sound too scolding. Since Randy’s death you’d been basically on a grief diet, although you seemed to be more willing to eat since you’d come to Mexico. But Beau had taken it upon himself to ensure your stomach was always full.

“Uh, thanks, but I’m not hungry,” you said quietly and were already keen to close the door to get rid of him again. Sometimes it worked. Most times it didn’t.

Beau frowned and already slid his boot between the door and its jamb. “You know I’m not leaving till you ate. And since you’re being particularly difficult tonight, I’m just gonna have to watch you till that whole bag is empty. Now, trust me. This ain’t fun for me, either. Don’t make me spoon-feed you and do airplane noises. It’s been a while, but I have experience in that field. You wanna hear my lecture about your essential vitamins and minerals again?”

You sighed dramatically and were close to a whine. “Beau, I’m really not in the mood right now. Can you please just–” You stopped when you noticed the man wasn’t even listening to you. With a curiously furrowed brow, he cocked his head and leaned inside your room with a skillful weight shift, his green eyes focusing on the TV.

‘Vamos a domir a tu casa esta noche.’

‘¿Qué?’

‘¿Por qué siempre dormirmos en mi casa? ¿O no tienes una?’

“What are you watching?” Beau had fully stepped inside your room, and you knew your probability of kicking him out again sunk by the second. You sighed once more and closed the door behind you two.

“Grey’s Anatomy in Spanish. I already know the episodes, so I figured I could learn a little. I already forgot most of it from school,” you replied.

“Huh. Never watched this show.” Yet, he sat down on the foot of your bed and seemed hooked. His eyes were glued to the screen, brow lightly creased above the bridge of his nose that showed his interest. If you had popcorn, you would’ve handed it to him.

You rolled your eyes a little but smiled nonetheless. Randy had been the same. He’d teased you for watching till he caught one episode and was immediately enthralled. Afterward, you weren’t allowed to watch a single episode without him anymore.

“You wanna watch with me?” You grabbed the bag of food and crawled onto your bed, leaning against the headboard. You quickly discarded the tissues that were strewn all over your mattress. Luckily, he hadn’t noticed them yet, or you would’ve received a look full of worry and pity.

“Sure.” Beau nodded and smiled at you over his shoulder, happy you had decided to eat, after all. “So, what’s this show about?”

“A hospital in Seattle. But honestly, everyone’s just sleeping with everyone…”

It took a while till you had explained all the intricacies of each relationship to him. Fortunately, this was only the first season. He gasped when you informed him the show had seventeen of it – so far. By the end of the episode, he had joined you by the headboard, sitting next to you as you shared the remaining tacos.

‘Me gusta el helado de café, whisky de malta de una sola destilería, de vez en cuando un buen habano.’

“Ah! Now that’s a home,” Beau declared with a broad and longing smile, raising his beer bottle to the TV. “You know, I’ve always wanted an Airstream trailer exactly like this.”

“Uh-huh. Un remolque.”

His brow quirked. “Is that Spanish for trailer?”

“Yes, he just said it. You need to pay attention,” you chided playfully and took a sip from your beer.

“Hey, look, I’m just glad I can keep up with who’s sleeping with who, alright? Don’t need to add Spanish vocabulary to the mix,” Beau quipped, making you giggle. “I actually almost bought a trailer like that when me and Carla first got married.”

You grinned knowingly. “Lemme guess, Carla said no and almost shot you?”

Beau snorted a laugh. “Ha! Yeah, she definitely came close that time. But Emily was already on the way, so I guess it would’ve been impractical with a baby.”

“Smart choice.”

As your eyes traveled back to the TV, Beau’s gaze landed on you. He watched as your cheeks moved when you laughed with your whole heart. How your pink, full lips sealed around the bottle opening whenever you sipped on your beer. How your shimmering hair fell into your face in waves as you leaned forward and hugged your knees. Lingering looks.

“You wanna open a bottle of tequila with me and watch another episode?” you asked with a mischievous glint in your eyes as you looked back at him over your shoulder.

“Hm? Oh, uh, yeah. Let’s do that,” he agreed, swallowing lightly. A part of him almost felt caught in his shameless staring. But he was willing to do anything as long as it kept you from crying yourself to sleep for another night.

Jumping up from the bed, you sauntered over to the mini bar and bent down, hauling a bottle of tequila from the small fridge you’d stored in there earlier. Beau tried not to stare at the curve of your ass and how tightly those dark blue jeans hugged it. But he couldn’t control his heart as it undeniably accelerated and thumped loudly against its prison. Fluttering hearts.

Four episodes and two Margarita pitchers in, you stretched with a yawn, barely able to keep your eyes open. You glanced at Beau with an amused smile as he was still transfixed by the TV and heavily engaged in the show.

“I’m beat. You mind if we turn in?” you checked and laughed a little when his green eyes blinked at you in surprise.

“Oh, uh, sure. I’ll head back to my room,” he said, nodding. “You, uh, wanna do this every night, maybe? I mean, it’s not like there’s much else to do here… We could hang out and binge-watch, as the kids say. Netflix and chill.”

You snorted. “Beau, that’s not what you think it means…”

His brow furrowed. “Well, what does it mean?”

“Sex,” you said bluntly and watched his mouth open and close. It was rare to render that man speechless.

Beau pursed his lips, his cheeks redder than the desert sand. “Yeah, uh, no Netflix and chill, then.” He cleared his throat a couple of times while you stifled your laughs. “Can I just finish this episode before I go?”

You giggled, getting up from the bed. “Sure. Knock yourself out. I need some bathroom time before, anyways.”

As you sauntered into the small, dingy bathroom, you briefly glanced back and saw Beau’s focus was already back on the sexy doctors. You laughed a little, shaking your head before you began to wash your face and slip into your pajamas, which were just a pair of sweat shorts and an old college shirt of Randy’s. Go Cougars!

Unbeknownst to you, Beau’s gaze didn’t remain on the TV for long. At first, he only caught a glimpse of you from his periphery in the bathroom mirror through the cracked door. For a moment, he stared, unable to tear his eyes away as you shed out of your shirt. But when your bra came off as well, he averted his eyes shamefully back to the TV. His mind, however, still wandered, incapable of shaking the image of you, various unholy ideas gathering for a villainous summit. Dirty thoughts.

‘Así que, elígeme a mí. Escógeme a mí. Ámame a mí…’

“Still hooked, huh?” Amused, you arched a brow at him as you strolled out of the bathroom and saw he was still enchanted by the magic of dramatic television.

“He’s gonna go back to the cheatin’ ex, isn’t he?” Beau asked without looking at you. He sat on the bed with arms crossed and his brow scrunched.

You pressed your lips together as you smothered another laugh. “Oh, no spoilers from me, but it’s a bit of a ride. And we haven’t even gotten to Dr. Caliente yet,” you said, grinning.

You waited a moment for Beau to catch the hint that you wanted to go to bed. But soon you realized it wasn’t going to happen. The man had done a full deep dive into that show, and there was no way of pulling him back out.

“You know, you can stay and keep watching if you want to. I don’t mind. I’ve been sleeping with the TV on, anyways,” you said.

His gaze met yours, brow finally rising with realization. “Oh, uh, sorry. No, I can go. Let you catch some–” His eyes wandered back to the TV before he shook his head and tried to refocus. He blushed. “Sorry.”

“It’s really okay. You can stay. I don’t care,” you assured him with a soft smile and climbed under the covers, resting your head on the pillow. You switched off the lamp by your bedside table, the blue glow of the screen remaining the only source of light.

“Maybe just this episode,” he mumbled, his shoulders deflating as he sunk back into a more comfortable position again.

“This is nice,” you noted with a blissful sigh and closed your eyes. “I kinda hate being alone.”

Beau watched you as you peacefully fell asleep, the TV suddenly forgotten. For once you didn’t cry yourself to sleep. Tears, nightmares, and loneliness gone. And he wondered – what it would be like if he watched you fall asleep every night. What if he was still there in the morning. What if he could hold you as you wore his shirt. Then, the guilt came swiftly like the rising tide and washed those thoughts away. Wistful what-ifs.

“What the hell happened in there?” you hissed as quietly as possible as you caught up with Beau in the lowly lit hallway of the station. Luckily, the other cops had enough sense to stay away and keep their distance while the two of you hashed things out.

Beau dragged a hand over his face, kept his palm clasped on his mouth as he paced in a circle. You were surprised he hadn’t punched a wall yet, judging by the tension in his shoulders.

“You can’t let her get to you,” you reminded him gently, your face softening when you noticed how distraught and upset he really was. What Diane said to him must’ve cut deep.

“You know it’s not true, right? What she said in there? I-I didn’t kill him. I wasn’t… Fuck!” His eyes were brimming with desperate tears, his breathing quick. You could hear his heart race from feet away.

“Of course not. She’s a deranged psychopath,” you emphasized, although you didn’t understand why you had to spell it out for him. He already knew that. “Why are you so upset? Don’t let her get under your skin. She’s thriving off it like a hyena.”

“I know. I just-…” He took a deep breath. “What if she’s right?”

Confused, your brow furrowed. “About what?”

“Me. Us,” he said, not making necessarily more sense. “What if it’s true, huh?” He blinked at you and swallowed harshly, completely out of breath. “Look, uhm… I-I don’t know how to say this. I’ve never admitted it before, but recently, things have become a lot clearer to me…” He paused for a moment, rubbing his mouth with two fingers before he found your eyes again. “I’ve always had feelings for you, you know? There’s always been this… pull. Even back then. Since the first time I met you.”

You inhaled sharply, your lungs incapable of fitting more air as you held your breath for several heartbeats. “Beau, it’s okay.”

He shook his head. “I don’t know if it is,” he said. The tortured tone of his voice pained you. “I mean, I would’ve never done anything. You need to know that, okay? I would’ve never hurt you or Randy. I never would’ve come between you two.”

“I know that,” you assured him. You wanted to take his hands in yours, touch him, hold him. But you knew it would only make the turmoil of emotions worse instead of better, like pouring oil into the fire.

“But sometimes, just for a blink of an eye, I caught myself wondering, you know? What it would be like to be with you… Hell, I wondered all the damn time. Even on your freaking wedding day,” he confessed. “That’s the kind of horrible person I am. And now, that I am with you and so fucking happy, I feel guilty every time that things worked out the way they did. ‘Cause it does feel like I’m happy that I’m with you, and he’s not.”

You let out a heavy sigh through your nose and finally took his hands in yours, intertwining your fingers as you squeezed them. “I know all of that,” you said, his brow rising in bewildered surprise. “In terms of being honest… I guess a part of me always knew you felt this way, but I never let myself go there. And yeah, considering everything, it’s only natural to feel guilty. But you’ve still done nothing wrong. We’ve done nothing wrong. You can’t control how you feel. Neither can I. And I’m not saying everything always was exactly right, and we did everything by the book, but I loved Randy with all my heart. There wasn’t room for anyone else… And now, I love you. But it was never at the same time, you know?”

Beau pulled you into his arms and held you tightly, kissing your crown. “No, I know. Trust me. I know that part.”

“I love you, okay?” You tiptoed to claim his lips, putting your whole heart into the kiss. You didn’t want to hurt him, but you wouldn’t lie, either. “Diane doesn’t get to use that against us. Everything that happened, everything we’ve done right or wrong – that’s between you and me… and maybe God at some point. But surely not that psychotic bitch in there. She’s doesn’t know what we think or feel, so don’t give her ammunition, alright?”

Beau nodded and pecked your lips, his hands caressing your cheeks. “I love you, too.”

Jenny cleared her throat as she carefully snuck up on you. “You guys okay?”

You gave her a soft smile. “Yeah. What d’you got?”

“Well, since Diane walked in and became our prime suspect, the new DA on the case signed a search warrant for her property, office, car, and all her devices,” Jenny informed you.

“Alright, take Pops with you and head to her house first. Call me if you find somethin’ we can burn that witch with,” Beau ordered, putting his sheriff hat back on, jumping into the saddle full-throttle.

“On it, boss.” Jenny gave him a resolute nod and hurried down the hall.

January 2021

“¡Feliz navidad!”

As you opened the motel room door, you found Beau on your doorstep with a giant grin on his freckled face and not one but two bottles of tequila. One in each hand that he joyfully wiggled in the air.

You chuckled, shaking your head at him. “Christmas was two weeks ago, payaso.”

“Yeah, but I wasn’t here, so merry belated Christmas,” he retorted and strolled right in as you held the door open for him. “Can’t believe you stayed here and didn’t go home for Christmas.”

“Meh, wasn’t in the mood to be placated and pitied by my whole family. I know they all mean well, but if I get one more concerned head tilt and a ‘How are you holding up, sweetie?’, tendré que apuñalar a alguien,” you huffed.

Beau narrowed his eyes at you, slightly amused. “I only understood the word ‘stab’, but I think I get the gist,” he joked, laughing. “I see your Spanish is getting better. So, how was your depressing and lonely Christmas without your family?”

“Nice guilt trip, asshole,” you retorted playfully and scoffed. “Great, actually. I went out with the guys from our team who stayed here, too. Got insanely drunk on some Christmas cocktail Ignacio created. And some hot guy taught me how to Salsa dance. He got a little handsy towards the end, which, granted, is the most action I’ve seen in five months, so…”

Beau’s lips thinned as he weighted your words. “Huh, so to recap: you got wasted with five guys in a dingy bar and second base with some stranger. Sounds like Christmas-y fun.”

You frowned slightly, watching him open one of the bottles of tequila. “Alright, there were no bases being hit, Judge Judy. How was your Christmas?”

“Not as fun, I can tell you that much,” Beau muttered and gulped some tequila straight from the bottle.

Your nose scrunched, lips pursed. “You and Carla got into it again?”

“Oh yeah, big time,” he replied. “I’ve only been home twice, including Christmas. You’d think she’d be more happy to see me, but instead I get yelled at for not being home more and criticized like I’m some drunk.”

Your narrowed look drifted to the bottle of liquor tightly clasped in his hands as he plopped down on the bed with a sigh. “Well, you know, not really making an argument for yourself there, gaucho.”

He scowled at you. “Who’s side are you on?”

“No one’s!”

“What, you think I’m some alcoholic?”

You pursed your lips and hesitated briefly. “No… But I do think you have a slight issue with... occurrence and... volume.”

He sent you a small glare. “That’s the same thing, just different words.”

“Look, I get it. It’s not like I’ve been a healthy example these past months,” you said, hoping a softer approach would work. You sat down next to him on the bed. “It’s been hard for all of us. Grief wrecks you. But you have a family to think about. Maybe it’s time you go home… for good.”

His brow drew into creases, green eyes drilling a hole into you. “Do you want me to go?”

Your lips parted for a moment, reluctant to answer as his question hung in the air between you two. “It’s not about what I want. You should do what’s best for you.”

Beau considered your words, his head bobbing. “I wanna stay. I need to see this through. For Randy,” he declared, although it was only partially true. Another part of him stayed for you. There was an electrostatic force, invisible to the naked heart and irresistible to the free mind. A force that kept him in your orbit and bonded his atoms with yours.

Maybe you should’ve told him to go home, been more insistent on making him leave, clearer on what was best. But truthfully and selfishly so, you liked having him around. He was your constant, your little piece of home in a strange land and an even stranger new life. And you didn’t want to navigate this new life alone.

“You sure?” you still asked for the sake of your conscience, but the determination on his face over his decision made your heart sing in relief.

“I’m sure. Just wish things were easier…”

Walking back into the interrogation room, you smiled victoriously as you slapped a folder full of evidence on the metal table in front of Diane. The deputies had found “a buttload” in Poppernak’s words.

Regardless, you knew Diane wasn’t stupid. If the deputies found something, she had wanted you to find it. For some reason, she wanted to be arrested. But you didn’t care what sick game she was playing. Cuffing her meant there’d be no more bodies, no more victims.

She gave you a titillated sneer, glimpsing at the file in front of her before finding your eyes again. She bit her lip, smirking. “Oooh, lookey, what you found there,” she mocked.

“It’s over, Diane. You’re under arrest for multiple murders among a plethora of other charges. But you already know that,” you told her firmly.

Beau’s features were stone-cold. He was pissed, radiating that fire burning inside of him for miles. He made the Yellowstone supervolcano look harmless. “Stand up and turn around. Hands behind your back.”

Diane did as told without any protest. She grinned at you the whole time when Beau manhandled her roughly into her handcuffs, bending her over the metal table as he read her the Miranda rights. You couldn’t shake the eerie feeling in your stomach, though. You had your killer, but somehow this felt far from over. You knew she had an ace up her sleeve and was waiting to lay it on the table.

“But we were just getting started,” she snarled. “Aren’t we having fun?”

“Fun usually looks a little different for me,” Beau retorted and forced her back onto the chair as soon as she was cuffed.

“I bet it does, Sheriff,” she purred with a flirtatious glimmer in her gray eyes. “I think I’ll wait with my confession till tomorrow. Let you two lovebirds enjoy your last night together.”

Beau and you shared a wary look at that. But deep in your heart, you knew there was nothing that could tear you apart. And you hoped Beau knew it, too.

“Look, bitch, I don’t care what you think you’ve planned, but it won’t drive a wedge between us. All it’s gonna do is piss us off more, got it?” you threatened and leaned forward on the table with an angrily knit brow.

Diane chuckled. “Confident. I always liked you, Agent. Aren’t you even a little curious what I’ve got in store for you?”

“No,” you replied without hesitation. You looked up at Beau and rose from your seat. “Let’s go. She’s not gonna talk tonight.”

Beau nodded, putting his hand on the small of your back, leading you outside the door. And just as your hand reached the handle, Diane decided to play her ace of hearts.

“It’s about your husband,” she noted innocently. You could hear the satisfaction in her voice as your whole body stiffened, muscles freezing. Beau felt it, too. His heart began to race. “Dead husband, of course. I always forget that part. Silly me.”

Beau’s hand on your back gave you a soft caress, telling you it was okay to turn around and find out. You didn’t want to care. And most of all, you didn’t want Beau to see that you did. But as you met his forest-green eyes, they were full of understanding.

“What about him?” you asked bravely, your chin held high as you faced her.

Her grin widened before her gaze wandered to Beau. “It’s in my pocket. Mind giving me a hand, Sheriff? You can even touch. I know you have a hard time keeping those hands to yourself,” she taunted.

You scoffed exasperatedly, rolling your eyes. “I’ll do it.”

“Oh, c’mon, Agent. Let me have a little fun. I’m about to be felt up by enough women,” she quipped.

You ignored her, hauling her to her feet by her elbow and holding her in place as your other hand dived into her back pocket. Your brow furrowed as your fingers identified a small plastic stick. Your frown deepened as you pulled out a familiar thumb drive. It wasn’t the first one you had received from her.

Twenty-five.

Had she taken another victim before giving herself up? What was so special about this one? What did it have to do with Randy? Did he ever cheat on you? Did Beau know?

You found that quite unbelievable. In fact, you knew there was no chance in hell that was true. But that did nothing to ease your conscience.

Your hand trembled in sync with your palpitating heartbeats. You tried to steady it as best as you could and keep your jumpy nerves in line as you slipped the small drive into its designated outlet on your laptop, not wanting the team that had gathered around and behind you to catch on to your unnerving emotions.

As you clicked on the MP4 file, your heart came to a standstill when a video popped open in the player. Pressing Play, you sucked in a breath and then forgot to breathe at all.

It only took you a glimpse to die inside.

“Oh God…”

It felt like suffocating. Like jumping off a steep seaside cliff and drowning. Your body hit the ocean rocks; your heart split open.

It only took Beau a second longer to catch on. The horror in your voice had put him on immediate alert before he recognized the figure on the screen, too.

As your head spun and your stomach turned upside down, you couldn’t find any words and bolted outside. You needed fresh air. You needed to breathe. And you needed to goddamn puke.

“Beau, what’s going on? Who’s the guy on the video? You know him?” Jenny asked, her gaze worriedly flashing in the direction you had fled.

Beau swallowed the thick lump in his throat, forcing the name out that had haunted him all those past years. “It’s Randy.”

Chapter 9: Marooned – NOVEMBER 29

Dun, dun, dun... The dead have risen in Montana! This is where it becomes a Walking Dead crossover (at least if you ask Donno 😂). Did you call the little resurrection action beforehand? 👀 Lemme know all your wild thoughts in the comments! 💭

So happy to be back with y'all! 🤍

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