#and watch the squirrels

[audible-smiles]

when my mom left Alaska she left her cat with my dad, who lives alone. this was a great choice for the cat but a terrible choice for me, because my dad now spends at least half of every phone call detailing the activities of the cat in exhaustive detail.

"but", you might say, "cats don't really do anything?" you are correct!

[moylis3]

brought to you by the fact that Shawn references Phineas and Ferb like three times and Lassiter`s canonical war against squirrels

[botanyshitposts]

flowers blooming in such heft and numbers they bend the plant over and plants bearing fruit so hard they shower everything under it in fruits or make the very branches bend…. creatures are just experiencing vast bounty and good fortune out there fr fr

[wojakgallery]

Title/Name: Soy Boy must watch Squirrel making almond butter Wojak Series:  Soyjak (Variants), Animal (Variant) Image submission by: wrenchwenches on Tumblr Image by: Unknown Main Tag: Soyjak Wojak

[invinciblerodent]

From now on, I'm just going to assume that anyone who calls Gale any variation of "pompous", "arrogant", "annoying", "a jerk", or anything to that effect, and talks at length about how they hate him and/or have killed him, is just bellyaching and being a baby over them not understanding his speech. That's right, at this point I'm ascribing a literal skill issue to being wrong about a fictional character.

Aww, poor baby, did the Mean Wizard hurt your tiny, smooth widdle brain by saying "adroit"? Did his correct use of "foeti", the latinate plural of "foetus", frighten you? Aww, I'm so sowwy. That must be so tough for you, being so scared of fun words and the general concept of whimsy. I can't hear you over myself tongue-kissing the pretty man with the calf-eyes and the slutty waist.

[365filmsbyauroranocte]

Nothing Sacred (William A. Wellman, 1937)

[grimreapersnuisance]

Inktober Day 3: Nosebleed

(Pulled from SPN screencap)

[na-bird-of-the-day]

BOTD: Squirrel Cuckoo

Photo: Grigory Heaton

"Very striking and long-tailed bright rusty cuckoo, widespread in tropical lowlands and locally up into foothills. Occurs in a wide range of wooded and forest edge habitats. Mostly forages stealthily at mid-upper levels in trees, where can be surprisingly difficult to see. Often seen swooping across roads and eliciting a ‘wow’ reaction. Underside of white-tipped tail feathers is rusty overall in West Mexico, blackish overall in other areas."

- eBird

[pnwander]

and if I wish the owl luck, and I do, what am I wishing for that other soft life, climbing through the snow? What we must do, I suppose is to hope the world keeps its balance: what we are to do, however, with our hearts waiting and watching--truly I do not know.

–Mary Oliver, "The Owl Who Comes"

[royalarchivist]

JVNQ: In Brazil, Pac is known by "Gostoso" (sexy guy).

Pac: Mentira- that's a lie! Don't- don't worry- don't hear him, don't hear him.

Gumi: [Laughs]

JVNQ: I call Pac "Gostoso" all the time.

Pac: Guys, I'm leaving, bye! [He logs off the server]

[okaydays22]

[elsie-talisman]

bitches be like girl why are you cryin’?

…and I gotta turn my phone around and show them a picture of paget brewster literally just existing…

[hipsternumbertwo]

Rhett & Link’s Wonderhole

[mothiir]

Captain Sevatar’s 100% Legitimate Advice on Handling a Human Female

this is so dumb why am i writing this instead of something useful. anyway, here is sevatar’s response — comes after fulgrim’s first letter. i love sevatar so very much, and the only background bit of lore you need to know for this is that back on his home planet sev fed the crows because the sound of their wing beats calmed his psyker headaches.

—

Father,

Delivered the crows as per your request. Have her feed them to a schedule — they will quickly bond with her.

Will defer to Uncle Fulgrim’s advice re: names though unsure what the issue with my suggestions was. Names should be practical and indicate the purpose of the thing. War Sage. Terminator. Cocksleeve. All clear and easy to understand. Still. Your choice.

-S

—

Father,

Glad to hear crows settling in. Apologies, did not think to warn you of territorial nature, assumed you would have one of your visions and therefore know.

If they are used to her giving them food they will defend her. I am sure the wounds will heal swiftly, and it seems they did not get you in the eyes. Suggest goggles until they acclimatise to your presence. Would advise against culling the flock. Crows are not humans. They have personalities and are not easily replaceable.

-S

—

Father,

Why can’t you just ask one of the household staff to do this it is not remotely my job

I am the First Captain I am tasked with flaying our enemies not babysitting my own father

Have sought out tailor and provided appropriate measurements. Are you sure you want it in linen, not in a nice tanned skin? She’d suit the Chapter’s aesthetic far better if she was wearing the freshly harvested hide of a foe.

-S

—

Father,

Two weeks is more than enough time for her to become accustomed to her new station. If she is still crying at night try removing her tongue. We do this with the whinier serfs and it doesn’t seem to affect their job performance.

-S

—

Father,

Quick note to follow up the last one — given the duties you want her to fulfil best she keep her tongue. Suggest removing something less useful, like a toe or a finger.

-S

—

Father,

Fulgrim knows best, I am sure, though it does sound like he is suggesting you spoil her rotten. A lost digit or two is not going to kill a human.

Regarding the other point. See no reason why you should wait. Just take care. Humans are breakable. Have you ever tried to put a chain sword into a sheath too small for it? Same principle. Happy to provide demonstration on how to do it correctly if you would like - best way to learn is through observation. Promise to leave her in one piece for you more or less.

Your adoring and faithful son,

Sevatar

[newlunapastel]

a scoutmaster slinkman concept i drew inbetween the buena girl drawing

[schwazombie]

Kidd and Law lying on the couch watching TV and out of nowhere Law says, "Say 'purple burglar alarm'." Kidd (Scotsman) seethes, looks at Law (German) , and says with an unwarrented amount of vitriol, "Squirrel."