#and was kind and strong enough not to hold it against Kate

[whatsfourteenupto]

Okay this isn’t about the doctor’s current activities this is just a thought but we are NOT talking enough about how Kate put herself through a mental spiral knowing full well it’s going to happen, how sorry and shaken she was afterward, the Doctor’s little comforting “No it’s alright,” and him and Shirley not holding what she said against her whatsoever. Why are we not TALKING about these FOUR hits in a row????

[sentientcave]

Heavy Weighs the Crown

Here we go friends! These chapters just keep getting longer. A larger plot begins to reveal itself to me. I am having a lot of fun here and I hope you are too.

Chapter 3 - Reading Between the Lines

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Contains: Generic fantasy setting, Princess Reader, No Y/N, Some exposition, Reader's dad (deceased) was a real piece of work, Bad memories, A spot of magic, Voyeurism, Reader description kept pretty neutral but I kind of got slightly more specific about black hair care so you're just going to have to live with it.

~6k words

The next morning, it rains.

The pitter-patter of rain against your windows wakes you up, because it sounds wrong. There’s only one small window in your room in Kate’s house, and when weather blows in it’s the sound of water trickling down and dripping off the thatch roof that’s loudest, not the rain itself. Here the sound echoes strangely in the big space, and you wake with a start, disoriented, your heart-hammering in your chest.

It feels like your life in town is the dream, trickling away faster than you can cup your hands to hold onto it. You fly out of bed and wrap a blanket around your shoulders, dashing out into the hallway, bare feet cold on the stone floor. The king’s bedroom is directly across the hall from your own, and you stare at the door, frozen and unsure if you’re willing to risk knocking, breath caught in your throat, chest tight, anxiety squeezing your ribs until they ache.

You’re sixteen and twenty-six both, living two lives out in one panicking body. You no longer belong here and you’ve never been anywhere else. Your father is alive, angry, terrifying, and he’s dead and buried where he can’t hurt you anymore. You are a tossed coin landed on it’s edge, waiting to fall.

The door in front of you opens, and you leap back on instinct, but breathe a sigh of relief when it’s John standing there, looking at you with surprise first, and then concern. “Sweetpea?” he asks, stepping forward to meet you, but leaving space between your bodies, like he knows that it would be worse for him to touch you right now. “What’s wrong?”

You press your shaking fingers to your mouth, holding back a sob. You swallow it down, pulling yourself together enough to speak. “I thought it was a dream,” you say at last. “I thought he was still alive.”

There’s no question who you mean. John reaches a hand out, an offering, and you take it, clinging to him like a life-line. He reels you into his arms, and you lean in, the solid, warm bulk of him as reliable and real as the earth below. “He’s not,” he says firmly. “I put him in the ground myself. You’re safe.”

You nod against his chest, feeling small and silly now. “I’m sorry,” you say, although you’re not sure what you’re sorry for. For showing weakness, maybe, for being lost in your own memory, for needing reassurance.

“It’s early yet,” he murmurs against the top of your head. “You should try to sleep a little longer.”

You’re not sure you could even if you tried, and even though you’re still tired, the adrenaline leaving your body cold, fatigue dragging at your bones insistently. You could maybe sleep against John’s chest, holding onto him, his heartbeat steady and strong enough in your ear to drown out the still-frenetic tempo of your own. “I think I’ll just get dressed,” you say, pushing away. He drops his arms instantly, letting you put a little distance between you.

He shakes his head, smiling at you fondly, eyes crinkling up at the corners. “Sweetpea, the sun hasn’t even risen. Go back to bed. I know just the thing to help. Go on.” He turns you toward your door and nudges you along.

There’s no point in arguing with him— You are tired, and although you suspect sleep will be beyond your reach, it’s cold in the hallway, especially now that you’re no longer pressed against John’s warm chest, and your bed is still warm when you climb back in.

Darkness presses down on you, heavy as grave-dirt, and you lay there, staring at the ceiling. You touch the crystal lamp next to your bed to light up the room, but that’s no better, really.

John knocks, but doesn’t wait for your answer before coming in, a dark wolf with blue eyes trotting in on his heels. “Go on, Soap,” he says, and Soap hops up onto your bed and lays down half on top of you, his head on your shoulder, tail wagging. John pats him on the head like he’s just a dog. “He’ll keep an eye on you.”

It should probably feel weird to cuddle up with a werewolf, since he’s really a man, and you’ll have to face that silly, crooked grin in the morning, but you need someone to cling to, and you’re to proud and cautious to cling to John. “Thank you,” is all you have it in you to say.

“He gets nightmares too. Usually sleeps across someone’s bed. I’m sure he’d be happy to stay with you while you’re here.” John says it simply, without a drop of judgment or condescension, and scratches behind Soap’s ear. “He’s a real good listener when he can’t talk back too.” He withdraws, tapping the light and throwing the room into darkness again.

You don’t even hear the door click shut. You bury your face into the thick fur around Soap’s neck and fall asleep almost instantly.

When you wake up again, it's with a very large, very naked man on top of you.

You yelp, scrambling back on your pillows. Johnny’s eyes snap open at your first movement, on high alert before he’s all the way awake. He scrambles too, and falls right off the side of the bed with a solid thud.

"Oh! Johnny I'm so sorry," you look down at him from the edge of the mattress, trying not to laugh. "I forgot you were here."

"It's alright, lass. I didna mean to startle ye. Ah shift back overnight sometimes. Price didnae remember to warn ye." He sits up and leans against the bed, forearms folded over each other. He looks no worse for wear, and like he slept as solidly as you did, those last few hours. There’s a faint imprint of lace from your nightgown on his face, and half of his hair is stuck straight up, the rest pressed flat. "Are ye feelin' better?"

“I am. Thank you for staying with me.”

“S’nothin’ really. Nicer sleepin’ with you than Gaz, he kicks awl night long. An’ Nox doesnae like me none, so I cannae stay with Ghost.” He grins. “Price lets me stay but he makes me sleep at the foot of the bed like a dog. Sometimes a man wants a cuddle, ye ken?”

You giggle. “I ken.”

"Really livin' up to yer name, aye Sweetpea?"

You laugh again. "Johnny, you know that's not my name, right?"

"No? What is it?" He shakes his head when you tell him. "I like Sweetpea better. Suits ye."

"Me too," you tell him. It has no connections to your previous life. It just reminds you of the pretty pink, purple, and white flowers that grow on delicate, curling vines that you like to grow over the side of the chicken coop.

There's a knock on the door, and Johnny leaps up to see who it is. You have to hold your hand up quickly to avoid getting an eyeful of things you're not supposed to see. He's absolutely shameless-- you suspect he wouldn't think twice about strolling down the hallways without a scrap on. You have a curiousity about men's bodies that you're too bashful to indulge, even if you're pretty sure that Johnny would stand still and let you look as long as you liked. Well, maybe not stand still. But you doubt he would mind.

It's Ghost at the door. He doesn't wait for an invitation to come in, but he has clothes for Johnny hung over his arm, so you don't mind. Honestly, you can bear a few overzealous men who feel entitled to your space for a few days, because after that you'll get to go home and get back to your life.

Ghost positions himself between you and Johnny, just as he had yesterday. "Price said you 'ad a bit of an episode earlier. You olright?"

"Just fine," you say brightly. "No need to worry."

"Och, let him worry, hen. He likes ta do it."

"I'm really fine," you insist.

"You want to visit the mausoleum? Might make it feel more real."

You'd be more interested in going there to visit your mother's grave, if you're going at all, but you think that you'll wait for a sunnier day. A gray, dreary morning like the one outside your windows is no balm for dark memories or old wounds. Sunshine might be. "Not today," you say. "Maybe tomorrow." You get out of bed as gracefully as possible, well aware that you have an audience. "Perhaps the two of you could step outside for a moment while I get dressed?"

Ghost glances behind him, checking to see if Soap is covered up enough for him to move, and then walks over to your closet and pulls out a screen that you hadn't noticed sitting in the corner there, and sets it up. "There you go, Sweetpea. You'll need help with all your fastenin's anyway, won't you?"

You imagine that he's smiling under the mask, more than a little smug about it, but you let it slide. "Very thoughtful."

"Try to be."

The blank face of his mask gives you nothing when you glance over, aside from that he’s looking back. It’s not the first time that you’ve wished for more insight into what he’s thinking, but there’s a gravity to his attention that you swear was never there before, and it prickles at the back of your neck even after you duck out of sight.

You choose a sunny yellow dress today, to counter the deluge outside, and remove the silk scarf wrapped around your head so you can twist your braids on each side from your brow back to the nape of your neck, pinning the lengths into a knot. You’ll have to redo them soon, but without Kate and her wife to help you, you know it’ll take hours, if not most of a day.

You walk over to where Ghost is sitting and turn your back to him so he can button it up for you. He hands you his gloves to hold while he does so, and you run your hands over the detail of white leather bones stitched on over the well-worn black leather, decoration and extra protection both. Idly, you slip one on, but your hands are so small in comparison to his that you have to stretch your hand out just to get your fingers arranged inside it properly. He stands behind you, and leans over you to gently pull them from your hands, as though to underline again how much bigger he is than you are.

The top of your head brushes his chest when you tip your head back to look at him. “Thank you,” you say.

“I’m always ‘appy to ‘elp,” he says. “I’m with you for the mornin’ anyway. Might as well make myself useful, eh?”

“Stuck minding me?” you tease, sweeping around to fold back the sheets on your bed, only to find that one of them had already done it. Ghost, most likely, judging by how neat it is. You touch his arm lightly in silent thanks, and the three of you leave your room together.

Other than insisting you eat breakfast (served in a communal dining hall, where they insist on bringing things to you rather than let you suffer the indignity of standing in a line, and watch you eat with unnerving intensity), they’re content to follow you around as you refamiliarize yourself with the castle, mapping out changes so you don’t get turned about looking for anything. You find a number of familiar faces here and there, and have an perplexingly similar conversation with anyone you know, where they welcome you back cheerfully, and grow a bit quiet and nervous when you insist that you won’t be staying long, and when you try to press them on that, you’re ushered out, told they’re too busy to chat, and that you’ll find time to catch up later.

You suspect that Ghost and Johnny are the source of their nerves, but both of them always seem to be a few paces out of (human) earshot, and minding their own business, talking about something else quietly between them.

"Where's Kyle?" you ask as you're hustled out of the the healer's work shop and back out into the hallway. It’s become abundantly clear, no matter how well they feign innocence, that your hulking shadows are making the staff nervous, and you decide not to subject anyone else to their company. If you can slip away from them later, you might be able to have an actual conversation.

“Prob’ly ‘oled up in ‘is workshop,” Ghost says. “Some weeks we ‘ardly see ‘im.”

“Wizardy shite,” Johnny adds, his tone disapproving. “As if there aren’t a thousand ways ta blow shite intae bits withoot wigglin’ yer fingers. Can blow up flour, did ye know, Sweetpea? In barrels isnae much different than black powder.”

“Still useful to have a little magic,” you say, flipping your palm over and conjuring a flame in the centre of it. It’s one of the few spells in your cache, and you’ve mostly just used it to light candles and the stove. Your lessons barely dipped beyond simple control— You’d been told that magic was no proper pastime for a lady. When you think back on it now, you think it’s more that your father never wanted you to have defenses that he could not control, or that could be used against him. A grim thought, from this side of things.

“Forgot you ‘ave a little magic in you.” Ghost holds his hands above yours, feeling the heat coming off the small flame. “Come on, pet. Let’s find Kyle. Might be enough to pull ‘is nose out of ‘is books.”

You close your hand, extinguishing the flame, and let them guide you through a few corridors and up a spiraling stone staircase.

Johnny hesitates at the door, nose wrinkling at the slight, hard to identify smell of complex magical wards that are carved neatly into the doors. You can feel the slight hum of it in your teeth. Ghost pushes the door open without knocking (you think all four of these men might be allergic to knocking), and steps inside.

You follow, and stop right there in the doorway while Ghost ventures in further. Kyle is shirtless, doing pushups over a heavy looking book. He doesn't look up, doesn't even stop when he turns the page, just continues the exercise one handed. He's in perfect shape, every muscle well-defined, putting even some of the finely-carved marble statues you've seen to shame. He has a frame for wiry muscle, but he's worked so hard that he's gotten bulky too, and although he's not as broad as Soap or as big as Ghost, it's clear that he's stronger than most men. Certainly stronger than men of his occupation have any need to be.

"What do you want, Ghost?" Kyle asks, still focused on his reading. "I'm busy, you know."

"Brought our girl by to see you, and you don't even bother lookin' up."

Kyle’s attention does snap up at that, brown eyes sliding past Ghost’s legs to you, still hovering in the doorway, Johnny a step behind, peering over your shoulder. Kyle scrambles to his feet, sending the book flying with a gesture. It settles on the desk behind him as he steps around Ghost, dusting his hands against his trousers before he takes yours, pulling you more fully into the space. His skin gleams with a thin sheen of sweat, but he's not the least bit out of breath. “Come on in, Sweetpea. Did you come all the way up here just to see me?”

“Of course,” you say. It’s a silly question, although now that you look around the space, you’re gripped by curiousity. The circular room is lined with bookshelves, each full of thick, leather and linen-bound tomes that hum with power. The whole room sings like a chorus, the sound not in your ears, but tickling the back of your mind instead. “I was wondering where you’d gone off to. I don’t want to interrupt, of course, if you’re working on something.” Although, now that you're looking, it seems like he’s working on many things, all at once. He has a carousel of research tomes open next to the desk, and neatly written pages laid out over the desk to dry, a stack of opened and unopened correspondence in a basket hanging from the side, ingredients measured out by a shelf full of bottles and jars of strange and familiar ingredients, and there are unlit candles set around the perimeter of an open area on the floor, a circle of iridescent tile set into the stone, pale and glittering.

“Nothing important this moment. Just studying while I wait for ink to dry. The mind grows dull if you don’t take the time to keep it sharp.” He glances at Johnny meaningfully, and receives a rude gesture in response.

“There’s more’n just books if ye want to keep sharp,” Johnny says, his voice flinty. “Isnae the only way to learn, ye know.”

You glance at Ghost. His mask looks back at you, blank as ever. “There’s a place for books, and a place for practical application,” you say diplomatically. “Wisdom can be found in many places.”

“In a pretty girl, for one,” Ghost says approvingly. “Would be good for you to crack a book once in a while, Soap. And for you to spend a little less time ‘oled up in ‘ere.” His head turns toward Kyle.

“I have a lot to do, you know,” Kyle says. “I can’t just shove everything to the side whenever I please.”

You drift closer to the desk, peeking at the tome he was referencing earlier, the pages opened to a chapter on illusion spells. Curious, you glance to his notes, humming with interest at the first page you glance at. It’s something about setting spells of illusion into fabric, weaving magic into the very stitches. “Are you trying to make a cloak of shadows?” you ask, picking up the page carefully by the edges, still mindful of the mostly dried ink.

Kyle looks over at you and smiles, but it’s all teeth. “Something like that. I didn’t know you were interested in magical theory.”

“She’s got a little sorcery in ‘er,” Ghost explains. “Maybe you should give ‘er a lesson or two. While she’s ‘ere.”

Your ears perk up at that, and you drop the paper back to the desk, forgetting it entirely. “Would you?” you ask excitedly. “I really would love to learn more.”

Kyle slips his shirt back on and beckons you over to one of the bookcases, smile turning sly and conspiratorial. “Can you give me a hand Sweetpea? I need something off the top shelf.”

You look up at the top shelf, which is well out of your reach. “Kyle, I think maybe you should ask Ghost.”

“Sorry, pet, I’m busy keepin’ Soap from pilferin’ alchemical ingredients.”

"Wasnae pilferin'! Just takin' a wee looksie. Isnae a crime."

"Soap," Kyle says pleasantly. "If I find anything missing we are going to have a long talk about it." He shakes his head lightly, sweet brown eyes finding yours, amused.

"D'ye think he means a good rough fuck?" Johnny asks Ghost, not quite quiet enough for you not to hear it. "Or an actual chat? Because that's goan ta change what I do here."

"I really don't think I can help," you say to Kyle, ignoring Johnny's query as much as you can. "Unless you'd like me to climb the shelves."

"Here." He crouches down in front of you and hugs your knees to his chest, other hand a higher on the backs of your thighs to hold you steady, and pops up. You let out a little shriek, and press your hands against his strong shoulders for support. "Don't worry, Sweetpea, I've got you. Now, can you grab that slim blue volume to the right? The one with no title on the spine."

Scanning the neat row of books, you locate the one he means and pick it up. "Ive got it," you inform him, laughing. "Now please put me down."

He slides you down his front carefully, adjusting his grip, your skirts bunching up and exposing your stockinged calves, and he holds you just above him for a moment. You loop your arms around his neck reflexively, holding the book behind him. He looks up at you, so dazzlingly handsome, you're almost surprised that he's real.

"Kyle," you remind him gently. "Please put me down."

“You sure?” he asks, bringing you down just a little more, so that your face is just above his own. “You look a bit tired today, princess. Could just carry you around for the rest of the day if you like.”

“That will not be necessary,” you say firmly. “But it’s a very kind offer.”

You hear a snort from the other side of the room, but you’re not sure if it comes from Ghost or Johnny. “Nothin’ kind about it,” Johnny says, crossing his arms. “Bastard just likes the idea of bein’ pressed up against ye all day.”

“You slept in her bed last night,” Kyle reminds him. “There’s no need to be jealous.”

“Ahm no’ jealous! Yer just bein’ a fandan charmer tryna cop a wee feel, an’ ye willnae admit ta it.”

You look over at Ghost, and he shakes his head. You imagine that he’s rolling his eyes, just as exasperated by the two of them as you are. He comes to your rescue though, carefully pulling you out of Kyle’s arms and setting you back down on the floor. “Thank you, Ghost,” you say archly, shaking your crumpled skirts out with one hand.

“Sorry, Sweetpea,” Kyle says, and you can’t help but note that he certainly doesn’t sound sorry. “If you read the first chapter of this tonight, we can do a lesson in the morning. This will probably be a step up from whatever paltry lessons the old wizard gave you— I know he took offence to the idea of training you at all, the closed-minded old bastard. If you have any questions, make notes, and we can go over it.” He taps the top of the book you hold. “You can write in it, if you like. I’ve scribbled in the margins a few times myself.”

You tuck the book into your pocket. “Thank you, Kyle. I appreciate that.”

“Anything for you, Sweetpea.”

You hesitate, a bit nervous to ask a favour when he’s already agreed to take time out of his day to give you a lesson in something you’re not sure you have enough talent in to warrant. He’s cleary a busy person, and you don’t want to waste his time.

Kyle senses your hesitation, and reaches for your hand, squeezing reassuringly. “Anything,” he repeats, brown eyes oh-so earnest.

Your ears feel hot. Flirting comes as easily to him as breathing, and even though you’re sure he means little by it, by his relationship with Johnny and the claim that John has laid on you, it’s hard not to grow flustered when he directs the full force of that sunshine smile at you. “Did you ever, um, help your sisters with their hair? I’d like to have a bath this afternoon, and wash my hair, but it’ll take me ages to rebraid it alone. I would really appreciate an extra set of hands if you have a spare minute tomorrow.”

He grins at that, pleased to be able to help you with something that Ghost and Johnny are ill-equipped to. The scar on his cheek dimples slightly when he smiles this hard, the slight flaw in his complexion more a dashing accessory to his charm than any detractor. “Would be happy to help. Do you have everything else you need? Oil? Curl cream?”

You hadn’t thought to check what was in the cupboard in the bathroom. “I’m not sure,” you admit.

“I have some. I’ll bring them by your room later this afternoon, just in case.”

Ghost offers to walk you back to your room, leaving Johnny behind to discuss something with Kyle, although as soon as the door closes, you hear a crash and a series of colourful swear words. You glance behind you as Ghost ushers you down the stairs. “Should we—”

“No. Trust me, Sweetpea. They’re just fine, and not doin’ anything you want to see.”

“Oh.” The implication warms you from the tips of your ears to somewhere in your belly.

“You’ve got the lads all worked up,” Ghost adds, as though you needed more context. “Competin’ with each other to get a smile out of you. Let ‘em blow off a little steam.”

“I don’t understand why they’re so concerned with me, if they have each other,” you say, trailing one hand over the wall, feeling the bumps of cool stone and seams between the cut blocks as you descend. “And John has made no secret of his intentions.”

He touches your arm to halt you, and moves past, taking a few extra steps so he stands below you, the near-hidden gleam of his eyes on level with yours. The two of you are alone here, where the curve of the stairs create a private universe, a pocket of stone and crystal light casting meagre shadow. "What are your intentions?" He asks. "Are you goin' to just let 'im take what 'e pleases?"

"I intend to go home," you say. "I won't be staying."

"Olright, maybe you do go 'ome. And what'f Kyle or Johnny came sniffin' round to court you themselves?"

"They won't."

"Why wun't they? You're a ray of sunshine sweet girl. You're the only one that don't see it."

"Ghost--"

"No, hush up for a moment, princess. You've got the wrong idea. I personally threatened every man that so much as looked your way. For years. Din't think about 'ow that'd make you feel. You're beautiful. Enough to chase, enough to go to bloody war for." His body is still, save for the slightest twitch of his fingers. “I don’t know why you can’t see it. You make us all crazy.”

The surety that John would really let you go slips as Ghost speaks, something fundamental about your footing in the world shifting uneasily beneath you. You had found comfort in the idea that you were quotidian, unremarkable. That the crown alone was aggrandizing, and you could pass unnoticed without it. Now you wonder if you’ve ever gone unnoticed, or if it was just that you had been too obtuse to see. “It doesn’t matter,” you insist. It’s easier to reject what he says outright, even if Ghost has never lied to you, never given you a reason to doubt his words. The ground settles. “I will be going home in a few days, and once John has my official endorsement none of you will have to keep an eye on me again.”

“You won’t rid yourself of me that easily,” he says firmly. “Keepin’ you safe’s one of the only jobs that I do that’s worth doin’. I promised your mum I would, an’ I don’t intend to break my oath just because you don’t think you’re worth it.”

“My mother asked you to?” You had always thought Ghost’s orders had come from your father, setting the quiet, faceless, black-clad knight on your heels, as close as a shadow, only leaving your side when the king sent him off to fight, somewhere far and away. “Why?”

“Figured she could tell I ‘aven’t got an ounce of ambition in me. Used to, before I came ‘ere. Didn’t do me any good. Can’t trust my own head, sometimes. But if I can trust what’s ‘ere—” He puts his hand to his chest, head tipped slightly to the side. “— Then I know I can trust what’s in there.” He lifts his hand and taps his finger against your forehead lightly.

You blink at him, surprised by how much he’s said all at once. Abruptly, he turns around and continues down the stairs, finished the conversation. You spur yourself back into motion, sweeping your skirts up with one hand so you don’t trip. There’s no doubt that you could trust Ghost to catch you, but the risk of sending you both tumbling down the long spiral staircase has you moving cautiously.

He stays with you for a bit, offering help unbraiding your hair and unbuttoning your dress, and leaves without protest when you ask him to. Predictably, he’s quiet the entire time, as though he used up his daily quota of words all at once in the stairway.

You lay out everything you need close to the tub, and sink into a hot bath, sighing. This is perhaps one of the few things you really did miss about castle life— Hot running water. If you wanted a hot bath in town, you would either have to go to the public bathhouse, or spend a good hour boiling enough water to fill a tub at Kate’s house.

You hum happily to yourself, which turns to singing out loud, the acoustics in the tiled room too good to resist. You sing your way through a number of folk songs as you run a cloth over your skin and scrub your hair clean, hot water and soap washing away what little of the darkness from that morning that company and distraction hadn’t banished, clinging shadows in the corners of your mind scoured clean again.

You pull the plug and let the water start to drain, and stand up, wringing your hair out before you reach over to the towel you’d set aside for yourself, bracing you hand on the side of the tub.

“What are you two muppets doing?” John’s voice coming through the cracked open door startles you. And it startles Johnny and Kyle too, because they tumble through the door onto the tiled floor, landing on top of each other in a heap.

You clutch the towel to your front, unable to keep yourself from letting out a surprised shriek. It takes a moment for surprise to give way to anger, your shocked, wide-eyed gaze traveling from Johnny’s red face to Kyle’s guilty expression to John in the doorway, a complicated mix of stony anger and surprise in his blue eyes. Both emotions fade as his attention lingers on your exposed legs, crawling up slowly.

“I came to drop off— But he was—” Kyle starts to try to explain himself.

“Dinnae try to blame tha’ on me, ye fuckin’ roaster, Ahm no’ a’ fault for what yer doin’,” Johnny cuts him off angrily, shoving Kyle off of him. “Yer no’ better than me just ‘cause ye weren’t here first.”

“I wouldn’t have—”

You level a glare at him that has his mouth shutting so fast that you can hear the click of his teeth. “Get out.”

The two of them scramble up and nearly fall over themselves trying to get out as quickly as possible, mortified to have been caught. They start sniping at each other before they’ve even gotten out of earshot.

John, however, doesn’t budge from the doorway. You direct your fury at him. “John. Get out.”

He doesn’t scramble to obey like the younger men did, as is he has any more right to be there than they did. “Sweetpea,” he says evenly, as though he expects to be able to talk you down from your very justified anger with a few measured words.

“Now,” you snap. “Before I lose my temper.”

He hesitates a moment longer, but the look on your face makes him reconsider trying to have a conversation with you for the moment, and he leans into the room just enough to grasp the door handle and pull it closed behind him as he retreats.

You look at the ceiling for a long moment, swallowing down the urge to scream.

By the time Ghost comes to fetch you for dinner (unsurprising that the other three didn’t have the nerve) you’ve mostly calmed down, untangling your emotions as you do your hair. You hope that John will have news of your cousin’s witness, so you can count down the days. The longing for home has intensified, and all you want is to curl up in your bed in Kate’s house and cry. If it will be weeks, you’ll ask if you can go home in the interim, and come back when the time comes to make your speech.

Ghost helps you button up your dress. You’re so tired of needing help from them. Your ire bleeds over, and you’re snappy with him too, annoyed that you’ve had to spend so much time with men lately. Aggravated that you’re forced to rely on them for something as private as getting dressed, when they shouldn’t even be alone with you in your room to begin with.

You apologize on the way down the stairs, however. Ghost just chuckles in response. “Even when you’re snappin’, you’re a peach,” he says. “Don’t think you missed a single opportunity for a please and thank you. Can’t ‘elp yourself from bein’ sweet.”

“Well, you didn’t do anything,” you say. “I’m not angry with you, I shouldn’t be rude.”

“Think it would be a bit of a lark, you bein’ rude.”

You laugh, and it clears away some of the lingering bitterness, like sediment washing away downstream. You feel remarkably clear-headed when you enter the dining room and face the three sets of guilty eyes.

All three of them start to speak at once, and stop as soon as you raise your hand. “I don’t want to hear it,” you say firmly. “All three of you are grown men, and you should know better than to behave so shamefully.”

John frowns, not happy to be receiving the same share of the blame. “Sweetpea, I wasn’t—”

“I am not finished.” You cut him off with a sharp look. “I know I do not need to chastise any of you. All of you were in the wrong. But I share some of the blame too, allowing you all free access to my space in the first place. So here is what will change. One, I would like a lock on my door. No more popping in without permission. Two, you will all learn how to knock. Three, I would like a lady to accompany me for the rest of my stay here. It is not appropriate for me to accept assistance from any man with dressing, and I do not require shadows following me everywhere I go.”

Ghost shifts beside you. “Now ‘old on,” he says. “You need protection.”

“I need no such thing. I do not believe there are assassins waiting around every corner for me.”

“I should be with you,” he insists. “If somethin’ ‘appens—”

“What do you expect is going to happen?” you ask hotly. You’ve lived on your own for years, and your hiding place was apparently well known to everyone. If an assassin was coming to dispatch you, they would have already come. The opportunities had likely been plentiful.

“Ghost is right. You need to be kept safe.” John holds up both hands when you look at him, half a surrender and half a plea for you to hear him out. You raise your eyebrows slightly, waiting. “A compromise. A fighting woman. Someone that can help you with anything you need, and can defend you if something were to happen.”

You incline your head. It’s a reasonable compromise. “That would be acceptable.”

“Farah?” Kyle asks.

“If she’ll say yes, she’d be the person I trust most with Sweetpea’s safety.” John glances at you, and offers you a little smile, like he’s not sure that you’re entirely done scolding. “You’ll like her. I’ll have her meet you in town tomorrow. Want you fitted for something nice to wear for your speech.”

“There is a closet full of perfectly nice dresses in my room,” you say. “I do not need anything else.”

“Indulge me. Your cousin’s man will be here tomorrow night, and the day after we’ll have you make your statement.” John’s smile widens, turning the slightest, inexplicable bit smug. “Want you to look your best, if it’s to be your last day as a princess, hm? And then on to better things.”

You sigh. It can't hurt to give in on this matter, since you won't have to stay much longer. “Very well, John. Although I think it’s a waste.”

The look in his deep blue eyes is inscrutable, but his smile doesn't slip. “I disagree. Nothing you let me give to you could ever be a waste.”

***

Image credits: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - Divider by CafeKitsune

[judesmoonbeauty]

Black Wedding: The True Vow For A Jet-Black Bride - Jude Jazza

This is a repost. Due to the original being deleted, CGs will not be uploaded per my announcement. This is a fan translation only, so please expect grammatical errors and lack of nuance. While I appreciate your support and welcome re-blogs, please do not repost my translations elsewhere. Thank you for you support! ☾.

Jude: ….A woman with bad taste.

Flash of light

As I was taking deep breaths, I suddenly remembered the dream I had this morning.

(I dreamed that someone with a grudge against Jude came to my wedding….)

It seemed terribly realistic because he was always incurring grudges wherever he went.

(The only reason I think it might really happen is because of this situation….)

Standing in the deserted hallway, I exhale again and remember how it all began.

It was only a week ago that he suddenly decided to hold a wedding ceremony.

Flashback -

Jude: Oi, We’re gettin’ hitched.

Kate: What?

Jude: A weddin’. Want one dontcha.

Kate: We’re having……a wedding?!

I can’t help but raise my voice in at the unexpected statement.

(I had always dreamed of a wedding, but I thought Jude wouldn’t like it.)

Jude: What, don’t want it?

Kate: …….If I could, I would like to.

He raised his finger as he spoke.

Jude: In a week, no attendees, ‘n I bought a few dresses, so pick whatever ya like.

Kate: …..In a week?!

Flashback Ends -

(I know it’s nighttime and he said no attendees, but Crown wasn’t even present…..)

(I wonder why he suddenly said he was going to have a ceremony.)

I open the heavy door with my hands.

Kate: Ah…..

Through the veil I see him in an unusual outfit.

Jude’s eyes widened when he saw me.

Jude: Suits ya.

He takes my hand and the corners of his mouth soften slightly.

Kate: Um, Jude…..you look good too.

Old Pastor: Then we will begin the ceremony.

As the pastor was speaking, Jude muttered under his breath.

Jude: You’re goin’ to hell, too.

I was elated to see the somewhat complicated expression on his face.

Kate: Bring it on.

Jude: …..Ha.

Old Pastor: Now let’s exchange the rings…

I feel a sense of tension as I look at two boxes held out in front of me.

(As it goes, I put the ring onto Jude’s finger first…..)

The shiny silver was small but had a strong presence, and seemed to speak to the weight of the promise.

Jude: What a nervous look. Ya scared now?

Kate: You’re wrong! It just, feels very heavy and….

With trembling fingertips, I put the vow on his left ring finger, and for some reason Ellis appeared….

Kate: Huh?

Jude: Enough, just take him with ya.

Ellis: Kate, your dress is lovely. I was just telling everyone how nice it looks on you.

Jude: ….Don’t say anythin' unnecessary ‘n just go.

He walked out of the church with the pastor, who was confused as to what was happening.

Kate: Is everyone…..from Crown here!?

I instinctively grabbed him by the arm, and he gave me a nasty look.

Jude: …..They’re guardin' the venue.

Kate: Why is there security at the venue?

Suddenly remembering this morning’s dream, I choked on my words.

(Maybe they’re standing guard to ensure no one tries to attack Jude?)

Jude: ……Heard ya told Ellis ya wanted a weddin’ ceremony.

Kate: How did you know that….

I didn’t think that my honest feelings I’d blurted out would reach him.

Jude: Seems like ya didn’t say anything ‘bout it ‘cuz you thought I wasn’t interested, but that doesn’t mean I’m not interested.

Jude: I just didn’t do it ‘cuz I knew those idiots would sniff out the ceremony and cause trouble.

Kate: …..My wish, you made it come true.

He burst out laughing, took a piece of paper from his pocket and placed it on the altar.

Jude: I’m sure ya understand, this kind of thing happens everyday.

Jude: I can’t have a normal life, and I can’t have the married life you’re thinkin’ of.

Jude: If ya wanna turn back - do it now.

On the altar, was an open box and a quill.

— And one contract.

Jude: If the pastor was here then we couldn’t do this.

Kate: 1) I don’t object to this marriage. 2) Infidelity is strictly forbidden. 3) The transfer of money…

Kate: Did you make this, Jude?

Jude: Got complaints?

Kate: It’s not like that…..

(A contract for an occasion like this is so typical of you, Jude.)

I already know that he will not break his promise.

(And how much this marriage means to Jude.)

He was probably the person who tried to bring me back to my normal world the most when I came to Crown.

(He’s got a foul mouth, but he’s kind and compassionate…….)

(That’s the kind of person I fell in love with.)

He was taken aback when I signed it so easily.

Jude: …..Don’tcha want time to think about it’?

Kate: No. Isn’t this for you Jude?

Jude: ….hopeless.

The signed contract was placed from the altar into his pocket.

Jude: It’s lifetime employment.

Jude: Even if you cry or runaway, I’ll never let you go.

What awaits us ahead will be thorny, the destination to the deepest hell.

(But you’d laugh if I told you that my joy outweighed that.)

Kate: Even if hell awaits me, I won’t run away.

Kate: Even if I go to the end of the sky……as long as you’re there, that’s all I need.

He bit my finger sweetly and laughed as my nose grew stuffy and I felt like I was about to cry.

Kate: What are you doing….?

His expression was somewhat tender, and tears of joy flowed from my eyes.

Jude: Whatta ya mean, if ya look you’ll see. I put a curse on your ring finger.

Jude: Ha, whatcha cry even when you’re happy? I learned somethin’ good.

When the veil was lifted and I closed my eyes to his approaching lips, I thought I heard gentle laughter and tears started flowing again.

I’m sure that when the last day of my life comes, I will be happy that the curse on my ring finger was not broken.

[Master List] Dividers: @.natimiles

[wandabear]

WISH YOU WERE HERE - WANDA MAXIMOFF X FEMALE READER

ㅤㅤ Summary: 17 years ago, a New Jersey high school girls’ soccer team travels to Seattle for a national tournament. While flying over Canada, their plane crashes deep in the wilderness, and the surviving team members are left stranded for nineteen months.

Jules is portrayed by Adelaide Kane. Here.

chapter warnings: smut, angst, mentions of drug abuse and death.

CHAPTER ONE CHAPTER TWO CHAPTER THREE CHAPTER FOUR CHAPTER FIVE CHAPTER SIX CHAPTER SEVEN FINALE ㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤCHAPTER FIVE

ㅤㅤBEFORE

ㅤㅤ

Two weeks passed since the accident and since they found the cabin with the dead man inside, and nothing changed. No plane or rescue team had arrived for them, which meant that hope was dying and supplies were scarce.

ㅤㅤ

“So, do you think the guy shot himself?” One of the girls whispered. “He left some kind of note?”

ㅤㅤ

“Just that weird symbol.” Carol frowned at her somewhat disturbed. Ever since they found this man, they all had questions to ask that no one answered.

ㅤㅤ

“Maybe he couldn't stand loneliness and shot himself.” Pietro shrugged and looked at the rifle that was standing against the wall of the cabin. “We should take the rifle and try to get something to eat.”

ㅤㅤ

“Maybe it didn't want him to leave.” Jules murmured thoughtfully, looking at a fixed point among the trees. Since they arrived, she Jules had not stopped feeling a little uncomfortable there.

ㅤㅤ

“Shut the fuck up you and your ominous crap. You're going to scare everyone just because you're a little hysterical.” Grant groaned, completely sick of listing to that girl muttering weird stuff.

The man was barely holding on to a wooden crutch made from branches, but it wasn't enough to stay upright for long.

ㅤㅤ

Far from answering that with any sarcastic comment, Jules just looked away and crossed her arms a bit embarrassed.

ㅤㅤ

“Hey, don't talk to her like that again.” Natasha defended her, getting ahead of Y/N.

ㅤㅤ

“Hey, HEY! I think we should talk about the huge problem instead.” Wanda cleared her throat, trying to change the subject. “We're out of food. We're all feeling it.”

ㅤㅤ

Everyone was silent, the hunger they felt was beginning to make everything worse. Any small fight ended in shouting or bad mood.

ㅤㅤ

“Now, the good news is my father used to take me deer hunting every year as a kid.” Grant grunted and slowly, awkwardly reached for the rifle and held it up. “The bad news... yeah, I am down to one fucking leg.”

ㅤㅤ

The man clenched his jaw, trying to stay strong and keep feel that superiority, but it was more difficult when they looked at him with pity. “Which means that if we want to eat, one of you is gonna have to learn how to use this thing.”

ㅤㅤ

They all nodded, Natasha raised her hand saying that her father taught her to shoot and she was willing to teach Y/N or Pietro to do it. Maybe it took a while, but they managed to group up to go out and hunt. ㅤㅤ

That morning, Y/N, Pietro and Natasha left the cabin ready to find something to hunt. Even though neither of them seemed happy with hurting an animal, eating nothing but mushroom soup for days was starting to weigh on them.

ㅤㅤ

Many hours later, the sun was going down and Wanda began to feel anxious. She tried to convince herself that it was just because of Pietro, but deep down she knew that she also cared about Y/N. She came back with some 'clean' blankets in her arms, they had left several clothes drying outside.

ㅤㅤ

The cabin was a bit more cleaner, enough for them to stop breathing dust. As long as they all helped keep it that way. Some cheering made Wanda come out of the cabin, she finally smiled widely.

ㅤㅤ

“They did it!” Kate exclaimed happily seeing how Pietro, Y/N and Nat were carrying a deer. It didn't seem very big but enough to have food for a few days.

ㅤㅤ

Everyone came closer to see it, they seemed a little tired but definitely happy for what they had achieved.

ㅤㅤ

“Nice work, you guys.” Wanda put her hands on her hips, looking at the deer. She felt a bit sorry but she also understood that they were about to starve.

ㅤㅤ

“Yeah.” Pietro smiled broadly and placed a hand on the girl's shoulder.  “It was all Y/N.”

ㅤㅤ

“She did great.” Nat smiled too, they all started screaming excited to understand that it was the first sign that they could survive in that place, without knowing what awaited them next.

ㅤㅤ

Night came and they were grateful that the beginning of autumn treated them well for now. They were all surrounding the campfire, Kate and Jennifer were in charge of roast it and distributing the pieces of meat to the girls who looked starving.

ㅤㅤ

“Are you okay?”

ㅤㅤ

Pietro's voice took Wanda from her thoughts, while she slowly ate.

ㅤㅤ

“Yeah, better now.”

ㅤㅤ

“I was so hungry.” Pietro sighed then finished his first piece of meat, reaching out for another.

ㅤㅤ

“Yeah, me too.”  Wanda said as she wiped her lips. She noticed how the boy devoured the meat, so hungry, Wanda felt so guilty.

ㅤㅤ

“I'm sorry I brought you here.” She lowered her gaze.  “I know you came just for me.”

ㅤㅤ

Quickly, Pietro looked up and frowned, genuinely concerned. “No, sestra. Don’t be sorry.” He put his hand on Wanda's shoulder, who kept looking at the ground. “I would never leave you alone, you know that. This is not your fault, this was an accident.”

ㅤㅤ

“Okay?” Pietro held his gaze until Wanda nodded.

ㅤㅤ

“This is good, not as good as mom’s Chicken Paprikash but good.” He pointed at the food, making her sister smile. It was all he wanted, to take a great weight off the girl's heart.

ㅤㅤ

Wanda looked up and noticed that Y/N was chatting and smiling with Jennifer. She wondered what she was talking about, what was it that made her so excited?

ㅤㅤ

“You’re close to Y/N lately.” Pietro teased, trying not to smile.

ㅤㅤ

“Yeah, is it bad?” Wanda turned to see him, she sounded a bit worried.

ㅤㅤ

“No, not at all.” The boy took a bite. “She’s nice, all these crazy women, Y/n is who I like best.”

ㅤㅤ

Wanda said nothing, just smiled tenderly and then fell silent.

The connection between the two had always been so strong, both twins were so close and although sometimes it was the object of mocks, they considered that connection something incredible.

ㅤㅤ

“Do you think they will rescue us?” Wanda asked a little more seriously this time, she needed her brother's sincerity now.

ㅤㅤ

“I don't know, Wanda. What Y/N is right about is… if they wanted to, they would already be here.” Pietro sighed, didn't want to talk about what he felt cause he didn't want to make her feel worse, but that was the truth, more than a week and they hadn’t received any kind of signal that people were looking for them.

ㅤㅤ

Not planes. No rescue helicopters. Nothing.

ㅤㅤ

“Did you apologize to Jules?” Wanda raised an eyebrow.

ㅤㅤ

“I did it.” Pietro smiled and nodded. “I think I saved her from stepping in a bear trap two days ago, and apparently, we're even.”

ㅤㅤ

“That’s good.” She smiled at the boy and squeezed his cheek, noticing how grown his beard was.  “Look at you, your beard has already grown.”

ㅤㅤ

“Oh, fuck off!” He pushed her hand away and they both laughed.

ㅤㅤ

“I love you, Piet.”

ㅤㅤ

“I love you, sestra.”

ㅤㅤ

Nodding, Pietro got up so he could go check that everything was alright with the Coach Ward, who seemed to be a bit distant from the girls. Recently, Pietro was the only one Ward let near or talk to.

ㅤㅤ

Seeing that now Wanda was alone, Y/N approached, sitting next to her on that log.

ㅤㅤ

“Hi.” Wanda smiled trying to hide that strange 'joy' inside. Why was her heart beating so fast?

ㅤㅤ

“How are you doing?” Y/N asked looking at her, noticing how beautiful she looked when the fire lit those green eyes. Maybe it was because almost two weeks ago they were in that place and everything seemed to get more intense but, wow, Wanda was so beautiful.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m good, how about you? I didn't see you today.”

ㅤㅤ

“Yeah. Killed a deer today so…” Y/N sighed and lowered her gaze somewhat embarrassed. More sad than embarrassed though.  

ㅤㅤ

Wanda hesitated for a moment but ended up gently squeezing the girl's hand. “I’m sorry.”

ㅤㅤ

“It’s okay, at least we have to eat. We needed this.”

ㅤㅤ The relationship with Wanda improved so much after the accident. After the fight at the party, both of them made up and improved their friendship. And Y/N was very grateful for this, although her best friends were there, the connection with Wanda was completely different.

ㅤㅤ

“Hey, you two.” Carol walked ahead of them making smooch noises, winking at Y/N.

ㅤㅤ

Y/N shook her head and noticed how Wanda quickly removed her hand, not out of embarrassment but out of fear that Y/N would be mocked because of her.

ㅤㅤ

“Hey. Do you want to go walk near the lake?” Y/N got up and stretched out her hand towards her, waiting for her to take it. “I can take the rifle if it makes you feel safer.”

ㅤㅤ

“Won't we get lost?” Wanda asked a bit worried but also an excited shine could be seen in her eyes. As if it was something forbidden and interesting, what more could they lose?

ㅤㅤ

“I know the way, Natasha owes me one so maybe she'll let us go. I found a nice place that nobody else knows about.” She turned to see how some girls kept laughing and chatting about boys now. “If you want to get away from all this mess, sure.”

ㅤㅤ

Biting her bottom lip, Wanda didn't have to think too hard. She took her hand and ended getting up.  “Yeah, I would like to.”

ㅤㅤ

They managed to escape from the place without anyone seeing them, but not before telling Natasha because otherwise she would start lecturing them and that was not the idea.

ㅤㅤ Y/N took the rifle and one of the gas lamps, both walked through the trees, following a path that only Y/N seemed to know.

ㅤㅤ

“Are you sure about this” Wanda asked worriedly as they walked down the path towards the lake.

ㅤㅤ

“Every day I walk through the same place. Nat asked me to start drawing some things to make a map.” Y/N reached into her pocket and pulled out a piece of paper, handing it over.

ㅤㅤ

Wanda opened it but couldn't see much, just some lines and the cabin drawn in the middle. Y/N moved the lamp closer so she could see better.

ㅤㅤ

“I found this place when I was drawing the path to the lake and the place where the edible mushrooms grew.” Y/N kept walking and took a path to the left, behind some huge boulders. She helped Wanda so that she could climb them carefully, and after a few minutes, they both found themselves with a beautiful view of the lake and the huge starry sky above them. The moonlight made the lake look beautiful.

The trees and the boulders covered them, making it a perfect private place.

ㅤㅤ

“Y/N, this is good.” Wanda smiled widely, looking around.

ㅤㅤ

Y/N just smiled happy, both lay back on the grass watching the sky, enjoying the sound of the forest. After so many days, far from seeming creepy, they began to find some comfort in those sounds that they now recognized.

The hooting, the sound of crickets, the fluttering of birds.

ㅤㅤ

“Look at all those stars.” Wanda whispered completely gawking. “I never thought there were so many above us.”

ㅤㅤ

“Without light pollution it looks so beautiful.” Y/N sighed heavily, arms crossed behind her head. She didn't know how long it had been since they left the cabin, maybe a few minutes or an hour, she didn't know. Didn't care either.

ㅤㅤ

“Pretty.” The sokovian whispered.

ㅤㅤ

Pretty. 'That's what you are' Y/N thought when she turned to see the girl beside her.

ㅤㅤ

Wanda was so damn beautiful. Just look at those eyes, so pretty and big, curious to know everything life had to offer her. That adorable nose, she loved when Wanda scrunched it. Those lips, surely they were soft and sweet.

ㅤㅤ

“Wanda, I'd like to talk to you.” Y/N finally took courage, betting her whole heart on a single play.

ㅤㅤ

“You know you can tell me anything. What's going on?” Wanda turned to see her, worried. Y/N seemed a bit nervous, without a doubt it must be quite important.

ㅤㅤ

“I like you.” The girl released without waiting another second, leaving her heart open. But far from seeming like a confession of love, it seemed more like a release. Y/N sighed and sat up. “I'm sorry. I know you have a boyfriend, but even though it's obvious... and everyone knows it.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda said nothing. She was surprised and not at the same time, she always knew it and she knew it right now. Every kind smile when others teased her, every laugh they shared, every word of support.

ㅤㅤ

She knew that Y/N had a crush on her, why fake it? What she didn't understand is why.

ㅤㅤ

“I thought it would be nice to tell you myself.” Y/N smiled shily, playing with her fingers. “We're lost in the woods waiting to be rescued, and I don't have the time or the strength to hide my feelings. It's so fucking tiring… so that’s it. If that makes you uncomfortable, we'll have to deal with it."

ㅤㅤ

“I'm in love with you.” Y/N breathed out deeply and closed her eyes, the secret finally out and it felt so much better.

ㅤㅤ

Silence reigned for a moment until Wanda reached out her hand, taking hers.

ㅤㅤ

“Y/N? Please, open your pretty eyes.” Wanda asked with a soft voice and a loving look. And when she finally did, the brunette asked: “Y/N, what’s my favorite song?”

ㅤㅤ

Y/N frowned, not understanding what she meant by knowing that, but the sokovian insisted.

ㅤㅤ “Umh... I've noticed that you like 'Fade Into You', I've seen you rewind your cassette twice until you get to that song.” Y/N said sincerely but then she realized that maybe it sounded like she was keeping an eye on her or something, maybe Wanda would think it's weird. She quickly added, “It's not like I see you too much.”

ㅤㅤ

But Wanda nodded slowly. “What are my favorite candies?”

ㅤㅤ

“Twizzlers. You always eat them when you get all anxious in our matches.” Y/N answered again, feeling how her heart kept beating fast but the tension faded slowly.

ㅤㅤ

Wanda finally smiled, her eyes showing the tenderness and excitement she felt.  

ㅤㅤ

The times she had asked Vision that, well, the boy didn't know what to say. First he answered any popular song, and then he said 'had no idea what kind of sweets you ate because who looks at those things? I can buy you anything you want, just tell me.'

ㅤㅤ

“You really know me.” Wanda felt her eyes fill with tears, but she didn't shed any.

ㅤㅤ

“Well, yeah, that's why I like you. I do and… I wanna know more, if you let me.”

ㅤㅤ

“I like you too.” The sokovian blurted out, not caring about anything other than that moment. What else did it matter? They were in the middle of the forest, lost, trying to survive.

ㅤㅤ

And her heart just asked to be close to her, it always did, from the moment Y/N defended her from Sharon Carter.

Well, that was something Y/N didn't expect at all. With a dumbfounded face, unable to believe it, all she could say was:  “R-Really?”

ㅤㅤ

“I do.” Wanda bit her lower lip, as a signal which Y/N caught perfectly. She kissed Wanda's lips in a soft first kiss, enjoying that exquisite sensation. Hearts intertwining, two teenagers completely in love.

ㅤㅤ

“Is it wrong?” The sokovian whispered against her lips, barely breaking away. She felt completely enraptured in that feeling, so different from her when she kissed Vision.

ㅤㅤ

The truth is that Vision and Wanda had never gone far, just a few little kisses and caresses. The boy tried a few times to go further but Wanda always said that she wanted to wait. Now, she felt that self-control with y/n didn't exist.

ㅤㅤ

Y/N quickly shook her head, touching softly the brunette's cheek. “I don't think liking or loving someone is wrong.” She sighed, still sharing that closeness. “So, can I keep kissing you?”

ㅤㅤ

Wanda smirked, shortening the distance to kiss again. “Good, because your kisses are so damn good.”

ㅤㅤ

Both giggled before kissing again, only the stars being the witnesses of that youthful love that was born.

ㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤNOW

ㅤㅤ

The days passed and there was no news of the blackmailer. Maybe because money cooled things down, but not the concern of all of them knowing that they were outsmarted.

ㅤㅤ

Y/N was at the hotel, visited Jules some times, especially when Natasha was working. The doctor told them that the baby was in no danger yet, that no bleeding was positive, even when Jules told that she suffered a pretty bad blow.

ㅤㅤ

Doctor Cho said that they should be more careful and that so far everything seemed fine, but later they would know better with the ultrasound at the next week.

And the secrets cooled the relationship with Nat so much that, the redhead began to suspect that perhaps her beloved wasn’t happy. The silence at night became unbearable, and sadness weighed on their hearts.

ㅤㅤ

“Jules…” Nat said as she saw the brown-eyed woman come out of the bathroom with her huge T-shirt. She no longer slept in her panties, trying to provoke her. Sex had always been a big deal to them, the passion was increased by the unconditional love they felt.  “Are you going to talk to me?”

ㅤㅤ

Jules just curled up on the bed, trying to hide her face.  “Everything is fine, I'm a little tired.”

ㅤㅤ

“Okay, just tell me, what the hell is going on?” Nat sat up in bed, so done with this game. She was sick of all this strange tension that had been around them for a while. “I know you're hiding something, I know you since we were eleven. You've been so stealthy with Y/N, as if you were hiding a secret... and I am not worthy of  your trust.”

ㅤㅤ

“We have never been like this, Julia.” Those green eyes express the sadness and restlessness she felt.  “Don't you love me anymore?”

ㅤㅤ

Jules kept her back to her, trying not to cry when she heard the pain in Natasha's raspy voice.

ㅤㅤ

“Because if that's it, we can… we can try to go to those… You know? Couples therapy or whatever to get your love back. Or- or we can... I don't know, I don't want to let you go but, if you're not happy with me...” Natasha swallowed, the angst in her throat not letting her continue.

ㅤ

That was all Jules could bear. She turned quickly so she could see her, and that image completely destroyed her.

ㅤㅤ

“No, no, no.” Jules took her hand and hastened to erase any kind of doubt, she couldn't allow Natasha to doubt herself when she had always been wonderful. “Nat, that's not it, honey.”

ㅤ

“So what is it?” they entwined their fingers.

ㅤ

Jules hesitated for a moment, didn't know how to start. Just felt her eyes fill with tears.

ㅤ

“I don't want you to hate me.” The dark-haired girl sniffled. That worried Natasha even more, what was it that bothered her so much? So sad, that she couldn't even tell her.

ㅤ

“Moya lyubov, I would never hate you.” The redhead cooed softly, genuinely concerned about her, the love of her life.

ㅤ

“I’m pregnant.” Finally she let go, exhaling slowly.

ㅤㅤ

Couldn't take it anymore, soon her belly would start to show, what was the point of lying or keeping it as a secret? Lying to the person she loved the most in the world.

Natasha wasn't the type of woman to leave her just because she was pregnant, was she? No, she had always been an incredible, faithful, kind, loving, passionate woman. Maybe she was a little afraid of commitment at first but, once Natasha got over that fear, she was always there for Jules.

ㅤ “You… what?” The redhead blinked fast, it took her a few seconds to understand. Oh.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m pregnant, the IUI worked but we didn't notice.” Jules swallowed hard and wiped away the tears falling down her cheeks.  Was so pale that those lovely cheeks turned red, as did her nose and lips from crying. “I found out  about a week ago... or more.”

ㅤㅤ

A huge smile, a hug, endless kisses. That was all Jules hoped for, but what she got was Natasha getting out of bed, completely shocked and a bit pissed off.

ㅤㅤ

“What the fuck, Julia?!” The russian exclaimed in disbelief. Quickly, Jules covered her face out of embarrassment.  “Really?”

ㅤㅤ

 “I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I didn't want you to be mad at me and hate me!” She whimpered, completely devastated.

ㅤㅤ

“Of course I’m mad at you!” Natasha exclaimed. How could her wife hide something like that from her? “You went to the meeting with the blackmailer and you are pregnant!”

ㅤㅤ

But far from seeming bothered by the idea that they were having a baby, or terrified by it, Natasha was completely mad because her wife put her and their child's lives at risk by going with them.

ㅤㅤ

“You were punched in the stomach, for God's sake!” Nat hurried over to put a hand on Jules belly, extremely concerned. “Don’t fucking do that again!”

ㅤㅤ

Surprised by that, noticing the concern on her lover's face, Jules just sighed. Her eyes swollen from crying. “I’m fine. We’re fine.”

ㅤㅤ

“How are you so sure?” Natasha insisted, looking at her and then at her belly. She caressed it gently, those green eyes brimming with tears of emotion.

ㅤㅤ

Of course, she would never be upset by the idea of bringing a child into the world, perhaps a little scared because all this would bring consequences and she was afraid that exactly what happened, would happen. That they were in danger.

ㅤㅤ

“Dr. Cho said she didn't think there was any danger because there was no bleeding, but we would find out better on the ultrasound next week.”

ㅤㅤ

Natasha sighed with relief upon hearing those words, all she wanted is for the baby and her wife to be okay. Jules nodded slowly, carefully watching all the gestures and looks of Nat. She felt so dumb, so stupid, how could she have thought that Natasha would be mad at her? Although her words had made it seem like she was glad the IUI wasn't working, Nat would never turn her back on her kid.

ㅤㅤ

“You’re pregnant.” Nat whispered, then allowed herself to smile. She was finally beginning to realize what that meant.  “Oh my god, we're having a baby!”

ㅤㅤ

“We are!” Jules smiled wiping away her tears.

ㅤㅤ

“We’re going to be moms!” Natasha exclaimed excitedly, taking her wife's hands and then hugging her tightly. “We must take good care of the baby, okay? We have to. Promise me.”

ㅤㅤ

“I promise… Are you really happy about this?” Jules giggled through her tears, completely happy to see her redhead so excited about the pregnancy.

ㅤㅤ

“You’re kidding? I’m ecstatic!” Nat leaned down to kiss her lips over and over again until she crouched down, facing Jules belly. “Hello there, Зайчик… I’m your mama Natasha. Your other mom in fact, because you have two, and that means you're going to be very, very loved!” Nat kissed her belly and leaned her forehead against it, smiling widely. Oh, it felt so good. “We love you.”

ㅤㅤ

The redhead spent a while 'chatting' with her baby and Jules watched everything with a look of pure love, until they both decided to jump on the bed with happiness, celebrating that beautiful news.

ㅤㅤ

Since the meeting with the blackmailer that night, Wanda was more nervous than ever. She was grateful that her little ones were visiting their grandparents that weekend, allowing her to have a bit of peace for at least two days.

ㅤㅤ

The brunette walked around the house, taking some things that the twins left lying around and putting them in its place. She didn't mind having to do it anyway, it was just throwing the clothes in the washing machine and at least it kept her busy with something.

ㅤㅤ

“Fuck.” The brunette muttered under her breath when she saw a sock under the furniture, those kids left their stuff all over the place. Wanda end up sighing and bent down to take it but something shiny caught her eye. As if from the dark depths of that piece of furniture, something shamelessly winked at her.

A black t-shirt, but the most important thing was that when she took it, her hands were stained with glitter.

ㅤㅤ

Hands that began to tremble just by seeing the shirt; the blackmailer's son of a bitch was none other than her husband.

ㅤㅤ

"VISION!” She exclaimed aloud, rushing out of the room to head to the garage, where he had his office. She entered without further ado, breaking in that 'sanctuary'.

ㅤㅤ

"Wanda, what's going on?" the blond growled, clearly annoyed by the sudden invasion.

ㅤㅤ

“What is this?" She held up that black shirt, completely covered in glitter. It didn't take an answer, Vision's surprised and terrified look said it all.

ㅤㅤ

“Wanda, I-” He exhales. “Okay. I can explain this.”

ㅤㅤ

Of course he doesn't know how to do it, especially when Wanda's eyes widened. Oh, she was mad. “Oh, my God, Vision. What did you do?”

ㅤㅤ

“Okay, just-just…” He got up from his seat and tried to get closer but the brunette moved away, looking at him with a truly terrifying fury and disappointment.

ㅤㅤ

“What did you do?” Wanda hissed.

ㅤㅤ

“Just listen to me.” Vision closed the door. “You were never supposed to get involved in this.”

ㅤㅤ

Wanda remained still, waiting for a convincing answer.

ㅤㅤ

“It just... It got out of control.” The english man sighed and placed a hand across his face. “Listen, that damn store...”

ㅤㅤ

“Our store?” Wanda frowned and crossed her arms. Everything seemed to get worse and worse.

ㅤㅤ

“Yeah, but this new one... Bloody ElectronicsFam.com” He growled angrily. “They are running me out of business. They got virtually no overhead. They mass-produce all their own inventory. What the hell am I supposed to do?”

ㅤㅤ

The expression on the man's face only made Wanda want to slap him more and more. They had bought that store with the money the insurance gave her for the plane accident. She understood that Vision felt guilty but this was too much. “So you… you blackmailed us?”

ㅤㅤ

“Not you. I thought I had to...” Vision sighs, so defeated. “I thought... Jennifer, she's a lawyer and you know… maybe Y/N had the cash.”

ㅤㅤ

Wanda closed her eyes, trying not to explode. She obviously murmured some sokovian insults that the man couldn't even understand. He wasn't a bad man, but he was a complete jerk sometimes.

ㅤㅤ

“I mean, I was going to lose the store, Wanda. First, I took out a loan. I just... I-I got a loan from these people, all right?” As Vision spoke and explained the whole situation, Wanda began to think that the decision that was on her mind lokg time ago was the right one. “And it turns out that they were... they were bad.”

ㅤㅤ

Wanda inhales deeply. “Like... like loan sharks?”

ㅤㅤ

Vision just shook his head.

ㅤㅤ

“Like fucking mobsters, Vision?” The sokovian yelled furiously but Vision shooed her away. “Are they gonna kill us? Our kids? you didn't think of them! My god, Vision!”

ㅤㅤ

Of course she was terrified for her children.

ㅤㅤ

"Be quiet, Wanda!"

ㅤㅤ

"Don't tell me to shup up!" She snapped wildly, pointing at him. "Are they gonna do something to us?"

ㅤㅤ

“No, no! No! I paid 'em back. It's all good. No one is gonna die.”

ㅤㅤ

"My God, Vision." Wanda shook her head. “You have to pay Y/N.”

ㅤㅤ

"Wanda, you can't tell them it was me-" Horror flashed across the man's face. What if he went to jail?

ㅤㅤ

"You have to take responsibility for your actions, Vision. For fuck's sake, you just- they almost shoot you!"

ㅤㅤ

“What if they send me to jail? Natasha could do it.”

ㅤㅤ

“No one will do that. Just… get the damn money and you're going to pay it back, you hear me?” the brunette told him seriously, there was no way he could refuse that face of hers. She was adorable but a lot of times, she could scare you. "You're going to pay to Y/N, I'll apologize to them."

ㅤㅤ

Vision nodded quickly. "I'll do it, I swear for our children."

ㅤㅤ

Wanda sighed and walked towards the door, but not before giving a final stab. "And Vision? I want the divorce."

ㅤㅤ

"What?" He frowned, surprised and maybe a bit hurt.

ㅤㅤ

"Oh, come on Vis. Don't you think that's enough?" Wanda sighed deeply tired. "You don't love me, I don't love you. We are here for our kids and they know very well what is happening between us.”

ㅤㅤ

"I know you have a lover." She smiled sadly, because even though he was doing it behind her back, she was glad to know that he found someone. Besides, didn't feel so guilty that she didn't love him.

ㅤㅤ

"I'm sorry, Wanda." the blonde whispered, he took off his glasses so that he could clean them and avoid showing how ashamed he felt.

ㅤㅤ

"We've been friends for all these years, but we can't pretend we love each other. Let's just not make it difficult for the kids. They will understand."

ㅤㅤ

"They are lucky that we made that decision now."

ㅤㅤ

They both smiled kindly, like two old friends saying goodbye, a necessary goodbye in order to move on.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I will spend the weekend in a hotel, I'll go pack my things.”

About five minutes, that's how long it took Y/N to get to that woman's house, after Wanda sent her that message.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

‘Come to my house, we need to talk.’

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N sighed deeply and took courage, if Wanda needed to talk, perhaps it would be to yell at her some more things that she kept for a long time.

ㅤㅤ

“Hi.” Wanda waved when she opened the door, letting her into the house.

ㅤㅤ

“Hey.” Y/N came into the place, looking around with curiosity. She had never been there, but it looked like a rather… ordinary home? Normal? Pretty good, very cozy.

ㅤ

Noticed some family photos, mostly of two adorable little ones. Billy and Tommy.

ㅤ

She followed Wanda to the kitchen without saying anything, expecting to know what she had to say, but the brunette just kept silent.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Will the girls be coming soon?” Y/N asked in a low voice, as if she was about to break the moment and detonate the bomb. Kept her hands in the  pockets, watching Wanda's every move.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“It’s just us.” Wanda whispered as she took out some bread, jelly, and peanut butter.

Just them? That made Y/N frown.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“So... why did you call me?” Y/N leaned on the doorway, watching as Wanda cut small sandwiches. “You're supposed to hate me.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I don’t hate you.” Wanda grunted under her breath. “I'm just mad at you.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I know its because of what I did-” Y/N tried, a tired sigh, but Wanda turned to finally attack.

So done.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“You broke my heart, TWICE.”  She snapped. Wanda spat out those words like poison that she had kept for a long, long time . “Not only when we came back from the forest and you abandoned me, but then you came back years later. You filled me with false hope and illusions saying that you loved me, that I should leave Vision and we should go together.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N swallowed; it was time to take care of all the things she did.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I did it! For you, because I loved you so much, I was madly in love with you! And when I came back to the hotel where we made love all night and you were waiting for me to do this together, YOU WERE HAVING SEIZURES.” She said with a shaky voice, those green eyes showing not only anger but also fear and sadness at that horrible memory. The scariest moment of her life.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

I’m sorry-”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“When I got back to the hotel, smiling, ready to face the world with you… you were choking on your own blood because you overdosed. AGAIN.” The brunette wiped away a tear that fell down her cheek.  “You died, I saw you die that day.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N was silent, couldn't say anything because she knew perfectly well that Wanda was right. How much she had hurt that woman was unforgivable, but love was always there.

Maybe love wasn't enough.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“And the paramedics brought you back to life.” Wanda turned her gaze to the sandwiches, taking a deep breath to calm down and put the tiny sandwiches in the fridge.  “You stole those drugs from the hospital, and you could have gotten Jules fired or jailed.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I know.” Y/N swallowed, looking down. “I did terrible things.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Yes, you did and everyone thinks I'm the bad guy, and i’m cruel or- or impatient, but I'm not! Don't tell me I hate you, because I don't.” The sokovian whispered so hurt. “I'm not the bad guy here. You broke me first, twice.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

But even though Y/N could have turned and left and not take all those words anymore, she came closer and put a hand on Wanda’s shoulder. And despite the fact that the sokovian refused at first,  slowly she allowed herself to be hugged tightly for a while.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Wanna tell me what’s going on?” Y/N sighed, knowing something else was wrong. “I know you're mad at me, but I also know there's more.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda looked up, Y/N knew her too well. The brunette moved away from the embrace, leaning against the kitchen counter next to Y/N. Like two old friends.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Vision is cheating on me.” Wanda started. “I've known for a while now.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N just nodded and then exhaled furiously, like a rampaging, raging bull. How could he do that to Wanda? Just like that?  To that woman? “’Kay… I’m gonna kick his ass. He is in the store right now?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“No, that’s not-” Wanda interceded, getting in the way.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I'm not going to let him treat you like this.” Y/N growled.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Stop.” She put her hands on Y/N and slowly pushed her back onto the counter, returning to where they were.  “That's not what got me like this!”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“So what is it?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Vision is cheating on me, yeah… but I don’t even care.” The brunette shrugged lightly.  “It is as if we both know that we don’t love each other, but… the kids. You know? Anyway, that's not the worst or the most important thing.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N kept silent, hoping that Wanda would dare to say it, especially when the sokovian seemed to start walking in circles, trying to get up the courage to tell her the truth.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Vision is the one who's been blackmailing us.” Finally, Wanda released it as if it were nothing.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

And Y/N's reaction was exactly what she expected. The dark-haired woman just opened her eyes wide, her jaw tensed, making her look perhaps quite attractive, or at least that's what Wanda thought for a moment.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“What?” Y/N exploded angrily.  “The fuck?! I’m gonna kill him.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“No, you won’t.” Wanda pointed at her, trying to calm her down but Y/N frowned even more annoyed. Was she going to defend him now?

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“H-he needed the money, apparently the store was not paying off.” Wanda pinched the bridge of her nose, even more frustrated than before.  “Because of this… online store or something.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ Y/N noticed that she didn't seem too happy with that news either. Surely Wanda was also upset when she found out.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“The business began to fall apart, he was asking for loans but it was dirty money.” Wanda sighed. 

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N nodded slowly, at least this meant something good and that was that no one else knew what they did in the forest. That was good.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“So you both owe me 50 grand.” Y/N teased, trying to make her feel better or smile.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“HE does.” Wanda clarified, finally smiling. A genuine smile. Y/N won and her heart knew it.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I'm going to break his fucking legs, man.” Y/N exhaled deeply and shook her head. “At least we don't have to worry about our past getting out of here. Right?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda just nodded.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Does he know EVERYTHING that happened there? Did he read all your diaries?” she narrowed her eyes.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“No, he just saw the drawing and thought it was important. He doesn't know what truly happened.” Wanda began to play with her rings, so embarrassed, everything that happened was her fault. “I promise I'll pay you back.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“No, he will.” Y/N smirked. “We'd better tell the others. They'll be glad to know there's no danger.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I don't know, I don't want them to be mad at me.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N kept watching her, she was seventeen years later and she still looked so beautiful. Now she looked more mature, those green eyes showed how much she had matured but that made her more beautiful and sensual. And that body? Wow, she really was a mommy.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“You have to tell them the truth, that's what it's all about.”  Noticing how worried Wanda looked, Y/N placed a hand on her shoulder. “They love you, believe me they won't care as long as you're fine. Besides that you had nothing to do with this.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Do you think they won't hate me?”  Wanda's voice melted Y/N's heart, who only quickly denied.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“They have hearts too big, look why I'm here.” The taller one shrugged. “Plus, I think they have bigger fish to fry between them.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“What do you mean?” The brunette asked worriedly.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Jules is pregnant.” Y/N smiled happily, but after a few seconds she realized the huge mistake she made.  “I mean, fuck, I wasn't supposed to say anything! You can't say anything! I promised not to say it!”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N panicked, opening her eyes wide, but Wanda only opened her big eyes in surprise and couldn't help but smile widely. That was much more important than all this, her best friends were going to be moms. That joy cast out any fear she might have.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Oh my god, Y/N!” Wanda squealed.  “That’s good news, right? We must celebrate!”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“So good, right?! But remember, don't say anything.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

They both looked like two excited kids, laughing over that beautiful news as if it were themselves.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“But wait, Nat doesn’t now that and Jules doesn't know how she's going to take it.” y/n pursed her lips watching as Wanda took out a bottle of wine from the cabinet and two glasses.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Damn.” Wanda said worriedly. “Oh, god, she was hit the other day! Is she okay?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“She is. I went with her to the doc, she's fine for now.” she nodded and took the glass, somewhat doubtful.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Oh, thank god. Thank you for telling me this.” She was going to take the bottle to open it but Y/N touched her arm gently, getting her attention. “I was so worried that-”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Wait, Wanda?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah?” she frowned.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I don't drink anymore. I'm still recovering.” Y/N wrinkled her nose. “Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you but…" She swallowed and shrugged a bit shy.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“…OH! I’m so sorry!” The sokovian exclaimed in embarrassment, quickly setting the bottle aside. She didn't know what to say, feeling so ashamed that she was so inconsiderate. “I’m sorry, Y/N.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“It’s okay, I’m trying my best. It's not like I'm desperate to drink anyway.” Y/N smiled kindly.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

And for a moment, Wanda felt that she was seeing that eighteen-year-old girl again, so kind, attentive and considerate. That Y/N that completely stolen her heart years ago.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Please, don’t look at me like that.” Wanda shook her head and turned to leave the kitchen and arrange some things in the living room, some thrown cushions and joysticks.  

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Like that?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Like a fucking sad but loving puppy.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Why?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Because I can't deal with your ‘unrequited love victim’ look right now.” Wanda shook her head. Y/N followed Wanda around the place, helping her to pick up some cushions. “Stop that.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

"But I love you.” Y/N smirked, wasn't going to stop, not anymore.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Please, stop.” Wanda pointed her finger at her and ended up taking the cushion out of her hands.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I can’t.” She was willing to do everything to make it better, to have Wanda by her side, in any way. “It kills me not being able to have you, not being able to be with you. I love to see you happy, I love to see you smile, but don't think that it doesn't hurt me not to have you.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Well, you seemed fine when-”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I know!” Y/N stepped forward. She perfectly knew everything she did, and despite the fact that she has changed, Y/N knew that she would have to endure those comments forever. “I know, and it wasn't right or fair. I was sick and I was sunk deep into the abyss and I started to sink you too.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

She sighed heavily, taking over all her actions. As many times as necessary.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“And I’m sorry, but i'm done apologizing.” At Wanda's surprised look, Y/N stepped forward to take her hand. “I can't keep sinking anymore, that's why I'm here. Because I love you, because I love my friends, and because I want to love myself a little more. No one deserves what I did to you all, and I want to make it right. I have to do it, okay?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N sighed deeply. Would fight whatever it took to keep the people she loved close. Time to mourn was over, now she just had to build and take care of the future.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I am taking responsibility for it. We all screwed up in one way or another.  I’m sober, I’m better and I’m trying my fucking best.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda just nodded, completely fascinated by that image. With a different Y/N, mature and much more responsible. She looked so attractive… It was too much, so tired of fighting the tension between the two; Wanda ended the distance and kissed her lips with a passion that surprised them both.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N was quick to kiss her back, pushing the brunette against the wall. The warmth of her body and her lips wrapped around her in such an exquisite way, she felt like coming home.

Her heart beat again after so long, the reason why she was still alive was right there.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

It wasn't a cute and tender kiss, it was a kiss full of passion and need. From two people who missed each other too much and had been away for a long, long time.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Wanda, we're at your house.” Y/N cursed herself for being the voice of reason, but even so, she didn't stop and kept devouring the sokovian's neck.  “Vision or the kids could come.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

When was the last time Wanda felt wanted? Needed and desired. A long time ago, she hadn't had sex with Vision in a long time and right now, her legs were shaking like she was that same needy young self again.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“He’s not coming... the kids won't be around for the whole weekend.” Wanda could barely whisper, feeling how her legs were so weak. “Oh god.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Between kisses and caresses, both ended up in Wanda's room, tangled between the sheets. Their naked bodies complemented each other once more; Wanda's hands ran over Y/N's bare back over and over again.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Fuck me.” She whispered against Y/N’s lips between kisses and bites. “Now. Please.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Feeling that paradise existed in the hands of Y/N, she got carried away. Legs that trembled, lips that ran over the skin over and over again. Wanda bit her skin as if she wanted to mark that woman as hers once more.

Because she was always hers.

The moans, the screams of pleasure, the biting.

The way in which Wanda sought to take Y/N's hands for her to cling to before reaching orgasm, or how her tongue ran through that wet sex with a unique devotion.

The way their breasts swayed with each movement, how their muscles contracted and then released at the peak of pleasure. How Y/N's hands gently squeezed the brunette's neck, how she licked her thumb, teasing her. Needing more.

It was an incredible night for both of them, who ended up sweaty, sore and happy hugging in that bed.

So... 👀🐝 Now do you understand Wanda's anger better? And you haven't read it yet.

Hope you enjoyed, this is turning interesting and good. I'm already working on the finale and... it might make you smile, cry, or both. Some intense stuff is coming so, I just want to let you know that. Clearly many didn't survive the forest.

the cutest and lovely people tags ✨ @kaiidth-wandika @yourfavunsub @pawiie @fanboy7794 @sunsol-22 @scarlettbitchx @arcturusseer @imnotasuperhero @chtte @lesbians-in-outer-space @starry-night17 @cristin-rjd @kenlymar @chtte @marvelogic @druggedduck @aliherreraaa @widowwaddles @gingiesworld

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[sunnyrealist]

Chapter 17: You're Safe With Me

The Sun, the Moon, and All Our Stars

Summary and Details…

Artwork Credit: All of the artwork for this chapter was created by the incredibly talented @giselsann-opencommissions, who always impresses me! Check out her work if you're looking to commission some fanart! Chapter Background and Summary: Sebastian happened upon a perfect gift for Kate - Annamese (modern day: Vietnamese) cinnamon. He was outrageously excited and can't wait even one more day to give it to her. He decided that he was just going to surprise her and show up at her home with it that evening. Meanwhile, Kate is on a terrible arranged date. She's just about to take her leave when the man follows her home and aggressively forces her inside her cottage.

Pairing: Aged-up, post-Azkaban Sebastian Sallow x female OC (Kate Mayflower)

Trigger warnings: Heavy violence, attempted date rape/sexual assault

The full chapter is available below the cut; it can also be found on AO3 (link is posted below). Any kind of constructive feedback would be greatly appreciated. A comment, like, or Kudos would make my day!

Chapter 17: You're Safe With Me

Clyde throws Kate into her living room and slams the door shut, locking it. 

She falls to the hardwood floor, grimacing as she lands hard and her dress tears once again at the hem. She knows she doesn’t have much time or opportunity to escape, so she scrambles to crawl away quickly, but he’s completely focused on her. He grabs her wrists, hard enough to bruise, pulling her into a standing position.

“Come on, it’s just us now,” Clyde leers with a sick grin. “I know what girls like you are really like. You play coy and innocent, but deep down, you want this.”

He grabs her face, pushing his lips against hers, as he backs her into the empty wall adjacent to the kitchen. Kate kicks him in the shin, which buys her a moment when he cries out in pain, but it’s not enough to get away from him.

“Oh, so you want it rough?” he asks in a sinister tone. 

“No!” Kate shouts as loud as she can. “Stop! Stop it!”

Her wrists and back are against the wall; there is nowhere for her to go. Clyde continues to assault her mouth with his foul lips, shoving his tongue into her mouth. Kate grimaces, wrenching her face away and starting to tear up.

“Clyde! Stop! Stop it!” she cries.

He doesn’t stop. He kisses her again, lifting up her arms against the wall so he can hold her wrists with just one hand above her. He’s too strong.

“Please! Don’t do this! Please!” Kate yells.

Clyde kisses her again, then moves his free hand to her hip, gripping it tightly. Then, his hand slowly moves to her torso, where it settles over and gropes a breast. Kate raises her knee again to try to kick him in the balls, but her attempt is in vain.

“Fucking stand still,” Clyde commands her, and she struggles even more against him. “We can’t have any fun if your clothes are on.”

Clyde uses his foot to raise the hem of her tattered dress, then uses his free hand to lift it up further until he can see her undergarments. He slips his hand underneath the side of her panties and pulls them down until they fall on their own to the floor. 

Once again, she calls out for help. Even though it’s clear that no one is near her cottage, she has to try.

Next, the sheer sleeves of her dress get pushed down, tearing instantly. Clyde then rips the pale gold and green, embroidered bodice down the middle. He lets her wrists go so that he can go a step further and destroy her corset. She screams non-stop as he cages her body in. She beats her fists against his chest, but he hardly reacts to the petite woman using her full physical strength to stop him. Kate tries to scratch him, but nothing seems to work at all. 

“Just settle down and enjoy it,” Clyde orders through gritted teeth.

His hands settle over her breasts, with only her corset as the barrier. He dips his fingers underneath, gripping each side of the lingerie. He begins to tear it in half, but her corset was built to be durable, so it’s no easy task. He manages to rip it enough that one of her breasts falls out, exposed. 

“No! No!!!” Kate shouts. “Stop it!!! Stop it!!!” 

“Merlin, you really do have huge tits,” he marvels. “I thought they’d be a trick of the corset.”

Clyde’s lips close around her nipple. Kate is reduced to sobbing, her tears flowing freely. She attempts weakly to push him away and continues to scream at the top of her lungs. It’s all she can do.

When Sebastian apparates onto the path in front of Kate’s cottage, the sun is setting in the horizon. As he slowly walks to the gate, he silently wonders if surprising her is a good idea. Glancing at the glass container of cinnamon, now with a yellow ribbon tied around it like a proper gift, he resolves to continue on. 

He opens the gate with a creak. Rather than letting it shut loudly behind him, he holds onto it and closes it softly until it clicks. He takes a deep breath and grins as he approaches Kate’s cottage via the gravel pathway. 

All of a sudden, a strange noise startles Sebastian. His ears pick up one of the loudest, most gut-wrenching screams he has ever heard, coming straight from the cottage. It’s Kate. His eyes widen. He immediately takes out his wand and bolts for the front door. The container of cinnamon falls to the ground, the glass shattering upon impact. 

Sebastian bangs on the door. “Kate?! Kate, is everything alright in there?!”

He continues to hear her crying out, this time yelling for help. He doesn’t wait for a reply; he tries the door handle - it’s locked. Through the stained glass window, he can make out two forms moving close to each other. 

“KATE?!” Sebastian shouts, continuing to bang on the door. “What is going on?! Kate?!”

As he uses his wand to cast Alohomora, he can hear Kate screaming, “S-Sebastian?! Sebastian! Sebastian!!! Help me!”

He flings open the door so hard that it slams into the wall; several pieces of the stained glass break and fall to the floor. Without a second thought, he rushes into the room. 

Sebastian has seen many terrible things in his life - horrific injuries, murder, torture, and more - but nothing shocks him more than the scene in front of him. 

Kate is clearly being held captive against her will. Her face is stained with tears, her cheek decorated with a red handprint. Her dress and even her corset are tattered and torn, her breasts fully exposed. The strange man pinning her against the wall turns his head at the noise, looking confused and annoyed.

“Sebastian!!!” she chokes out, breathless. “Seb!”

Sebastian’s surprise quickly turns into fury. “INCARCEROUS!!!” he shouts, holding his wand towards the man, who clearly was not expecting any kind of intrusion. Even louder, his voice booms, “INCARCEROUS MAXIMA!”

The man is magically tied up so tight to the point that he cries out in pain. When ropes coil around his feet, binding them together, he loses his balance and falls over, landing hard on the floor. Sebastian sees the stranger try to grab his wands - he has two in his pocket. However, Sebastian quickly reacts, yelling, “Expelliarmus! Accio wands!!!”

The two wands fly into his hand. One is clearly Kate’s.

“Kate!!!” he screams, darting to her as her knees buckle. She sinks to the floor, bawling. “Kate, are you okay?!” 

Sebastian pulls his cloak from his shoulders, using it to cover her top half. He is breathing heavily. Kate’s tears fall as she audibly sobs, practically wheezing.

Turning towards the predator, Sebastian raises his wand. “Who the hell are you?! What did you do to her?!” he demands.

The man looks at Sebastian in complete defiance. “She wanted it! She did. Little slut.”

“The fuck she did. I’ll be back for you soon,” Sebastian replies angrily. 

Crouching down to Kate’s level, he looks into her watery eyes. He speaks quietly and calmly. “Kate, you’re safe now. I’m here. I’m going to take you to the bedroom. You’ll need to wait for me for a bit there. I’ll make sure he doesn’t get to you tonight or ever again.” He speaks louder, making sure the stranger hears. “This pervert needs to be taught a lesson.”

Sebastian scoops Kate up in his arms, carrying her bridal-style to the bedroom as she weeps. He kisses her wet cheek softly as he lays her down gently on her bed. 

Kate speaks, almost inaudibly, her voice rough from screaming. “Parkinson. His name is Clyde Parkinson.”

He nods in response. “I’ll be back soon, my love,” he whispers. “You’re safe. He won’t touch you ever again. I promise.”

Sebastian walks backwards out of the room, closing the door quietly and casting a protective ward. Then, his face completely changes as he marches into the living room. His eyes fill with rage as he sees that somehow, the stranger has gotten back on his feet to a standing position, though he can’t do much more than that.

Veering into the kitchen, Sebastian picks up a chair from the table. Without any warning, he hits Clyde over the head with it, knocking him back down to the floor with a loud “crack.” The moment Clyde’s body slams on the floor, Sebastian sits on top of him, pinning him down, as Clyde struggles and protests under Sebastian’s adrenaline-fueled strength.

“Who are you? What will you do with me?!” Clyde fearfully asks.

“I’m with the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. That’s all you need to know,” Sebastian growls, rolling up his sleeves. “And tonight I’m going to teach you a lesson about respecting women.”

Clyde sneers. “I told you already! That little whore wanted it. She probably still does.” He laughs. “The harlot would probably take two cocks tonight if you want to use her, too. Come on, now - we can just enjoy ourselves and have a fun night, yeah?” 

Sebastian’s eyes instantly fill with hatred and he spits towards Clyde. “You fucking arsehole. She’s the best person I know. How could you do that to her?!” He knows he won’t get an answer. “You have to be the most pathetic excuse for a man I have ever seen,” he continues in pure disgust. “You’re a threat to society.”

The wand in Sebastian’s hand begins to glow a deep red, crackling with energy. Clyde’s eyes grow wide upon seeing it pointed towards him, knowing exactly what that color and sound mean.

“Wait! Please! I have money. Do you want money? My family is rich. I can pay you enough to forget this ever happened!” Clyde offers, panicking. “Please!”

“Prepare for the worst pain you have ever felt,” Sebastian growls, completely ignoring his pleas.

Clyde reflexively shuts his eyes tightly, his face contorted with fear.

“Cru-” Sebastian begins, then suddenly stops himself.

Taking a deep breath, he reminds himself of what he had told Kate just a couple days prior - what he had promised her was true. It was that he doesn’t use any dark magic other than for his work as a double-agent. No matter the circumstance, Kate would never forgive him if he uses an unforgivable curse right here in her home.

But damn, he wants to use it more than he ever has before. 

Sebastian frowns, his body trembling as he debates what to do. Then, he stops and lowers his wand. 

Clyde opens an eye, wondering what is going on. Seeing that Sebastian had hesitated, he laughs. “Fucking coward.”

Not a single second after Clyde spoke, Sebastian’s fist collides with his nose, which immediately begins to bleed profusely. Sebastian looks at Clyde as though he wanted to kill him. 

“Coward?” Sebastian spits out. “I’m many things, but a coward isn’t one of them. You may think you are lucky that I chose not to cast Crucio on you, but there are plenty of other things I will do to make you pay.”

With both hands balled into tight fists, Sebastian relentlessly lands blows, punch after punch to Clyde’s cheeks, nose, and chin until he is completely battered and covered in crimson, moaning in pain. 

With bloody knuckles and his entire body shaking with adrenaline, Sebastian’s fist smashes into Clyde’s face one more time, and that is all it takes for him to pass out. Even then, Sebastian struggles to stop hitting him. His hands itch to do more. Considering his next potential moves, Sebastian easily levitates Clyde’s body, taking him outside into the dark of night. He walks a good ten or so minutes, stopping just a little ways into the Forbidden Forest, high atop a cliff. 

Allowing Clyde’s body to roughly fall onto the stone, Sebastian uses his wand to cast Aguamenti, spraying water into the predator’s face. Clyde sputters and immediately whimpers in pain, barely able to open his newly blackened eyes.

“I want you to see this, you sick bastard. Look. Look at what I’m about to do,” Sebastian says angrily. “I’m not going to make your recovery or getting back to wherever you came from easy.”

Sebastian waves Clyde’s wand in front of his face. Then, he holds onto both ends and breaks the wand in half over his knee. Clyde seems to cry out, but Sebastian can’t be sure because Clyde can’t seem to make intelligible sounds or words. He throws one half of the wandover the cliff on the eastern side and the other on the northern side.

“Good luck recovering that,” Sebastian mutters, then sighs as Clyde falls unconscious once again.

Repeating his cast of Aguamenti, Clyde wakes up once more. Sebastian grabs him by the hair as he groans in pain. “So, are you going to tell anyone about what happened here tonight?” 

Clyde shakes his head, blubbering. He’s terrified of Sebastian.

“It would be quite embarrassing to tell anyone that you got the shit kicked out of you because you tried to rape an innocent woman,” Sebastian informs him, then turns more menacing. “I think… I think you went out drinking, and someone beat you up while you were pissed. Isn’t that right?” 

Clyde nods frantically, frightened.

“So, are you going to come around Kate Mayflower again?” Sebastian demanded.

“No,” Clyde manages to say somehow.

“Are you going to do this to other women? Tell me now,” Sebastian commands.

Clyde shakes his head, his broken lips quivering. “No!”

Sebastian narrows his eyes, tightening his grip on Clyde’s hair, pointing his wand in his face. “That’s not very convincing. You can do better than that. Let’s try again. Clyde Parkinson, are you ever going to do that to a woman again?” 

“No!” Clyde musters, crying out in pain. “I swear I won’t! Please! Don’t hurt me any more!”

“Good,” Sebastian replies. “Now, one more thing.” He pauses. “I am going to make it quite difficult for you to perform again.”

Without any further warning, Sebastian stomps his foot on Clyde’s groin with all of his weight put into it; then, he kicks him right in the balls. He observes, satisfied and smiling, as Clyde screams and writhes in pain. He rolls around, moaning.

“You’ll be lucky if that thing ever works again after this,” Sebastian murmured. Once more for good measure, he kicks Clyde in the groin. 

Finally, Sebastian crouches down to Clyde’s level. He whispers to the sobbing man with a threatening tone, “If I ever find out that you even look at a woman with ill intent after this, I will come for you again. I promise you that.”

He didn’t feel guilty at all as he took a few steps backward. Watching Clyde for a moment with no emotion on his face, Sebastian finally left via apparition, landing in front of Kate’s cottage once more. The scent of cinnamon hung in the air.

It is so tempting to go straight to Kate’s bedroom.

Wisely, though, Sebastian steps into the bathroom to survey his appearance first. He didn’t want to scare Kate, and he certainly would have if he didn’t clean up first.

He stares at his disheveled appearance in the mirror. Sebastian’s hair is a mess, loose strands falling into his sweaty forehead. Clyde’s blood is splattered across Sebastian’s face and clothing. As he runs the water to wash his face, his hands begin to sting sharply. He hisses at the pain, gritting his teeth to bear it. Now that the adrenaline is wearing off, he finally realizes that his knuckles are bleeding, broken, and bruised. He cleans himself up as much as he possibly can.

When he has composed himself, taking some deep, calming breaths, Sebastian stands in front of Kate’s bedroom door and gently knocks to give her some notice. She doesn’t need any more surprises tonight. He turns the handle and enters slowly.

Kate is still whimpering softly, laying on her bed. Her face is stained with tears, her hair an absolute mess. Sebastian’s cloak still covers her. It is as though she hasn’t moved at all since he left her there. It breaks Sebastian’s heart to see her weeping.

“Kate…” he begins, speaking quietly and kneeling next to the bed. “Don’t worry… Clyde will never come near you again. I promise.” 

Sebastian stands up and drags a chair next to the bed so he could be close to her. He soothingly strokes her long, blonde hair. “It’s alright now, Kate. I’m here. You’re safe. I promise you’re safe, sweetheart. I’ll protect you.”

Kate looks at him through watery eyes. “S-Sebastian… t-thank you…” A tear escapes an eye, trickling down her cheek. “If you hadn’t shown up… he would have… he would have…” she trails off, her voice raspy. “I- I don’t know how to thank you…”

“Shhh,” he whispers, brushing a loose strand of hair away from her face. “There’s no need to thank me, sunshine. I’m just so glad that I was here and that you are okay.” He caresses her cheek tenderly. His voice sounding sweet, he takes her hand and murmurs reassuringly, “You know that I will never let anything happen to you ever again, right? I love you. I love you, Kate. I will protect you from harm. You’re safe with me, my love.”

Kate nods, then glances down at Sebastian’s hand holding hers. Noticing his wounded knuckles, her mind reels with the idea that he must have attacked Clyde after coming to her rescue. She lifts his hand, kissing all of his knuckles one by one. 

“I’m sorry that this happened to you, too,” Kate whispers. “I’m so sorry, Sebastian.”

Sebastian is taken aback by her gesture. Then, she takes his other hand, gently pressing her lips to each knuckle, one at a time. He is speechless for several moments, looking surprised.

“You know, you are the only one who has ever done that for me…” he whispers, blushing. Then, he looks away for a moment as he tears up, the entire weight of the evening crashing down upon him. It’s his duty to stay strong, but it’s tough - impossible, really - to remain stoic when the woman he loves so desperately has been harmed. He kisses her hand in return, a tear falling from his eye.

Kate’s eyes are still wet, too. “Please…” she hesitates for a moment. “Please let me be the only one to ever do that for you,” she whispers back. “I… I’m so thankful for you, Sebastian. So thankful.”

Sebastian stares at her in disbelief and wonder. What exactly is she saying? Does she mean what he thinks she means? 

“I would do anything for you, Kate,” Sebastian murmurs gently, blushing harder still. He decides to be completely open about how he feels. “You… you are my other half. We are meant to be together. I love you, Kate. I love you. I love you more than you could possibly imagine, sweetheart.”

Kate gazes into his eyes, her expression one of adoration. She says nothing but kisses his hand again, her lips lingering. 

A few minutes later, she tries to fight back more tears when she requests a favor. “Sebastian… I’m so sorry to ask, but… can you help me get out of these clothes and into a nightgown? I’m so sorry. I just… I have to get out of these clothes. They’re ruined. I don’t know if I can even stand on my own right now…” It’s clear that she doesn’t mean anything suggestive by asking. 

“Of course. Of course, Kate,” he replies quickly. “Where do you keep your pyjamas?”

She points him in the right direction, and he goes to a cabinet, opens a drawer, and pulls out a soft, white, long nightgown decorated with a pink bow and some ruffles. 

Sebastian gently lifts his cloak off of her body. The state of Kate’s clothing clearly reveals what Clyde had done to her. What must have been a beautiful, silken evening gown was now tattered and damaged beyond repair. Kate holds her arms over her exposed chest, her cheeks burning red. 

Eventually, Sebastian helps her to stand up. Her legs are like jelly. Her entire body shakes. Sebastian lowers her ripped sleeves and the bodice of her dress. He works quickly to untie the bow at the back of her dress and then removes it entirely. He sits her back down on the bed, then removes her stockings and shoes. He is surprised but doesn’t say a word as he notices her panties are missing. When he pulls her up to stand again, Kate is left in nothing but her destroyed corset. With gentle touches only, Sebastian loosens the strings of the restrictive contraption until it is comfortable enough to take off. She raises her arms so he can pull it up and away from her.

Kate looks away, embarrassed, as Sebastian can clearly see her entire body on display, but he does nothing but treat her with care and concern. He suddenly notices, as he raises the corset over her hands, that her wrists are bruised badly, marked by the outlines of Clyde’s hands in a vice grip. The marks are an angry red, starting to turn purple. 

“Oh, Kate…” Sebastian murmurs, carefully kissing her wrists as she watches him intently. “I hate that this happened to you…”

He gestures for her to raise her arms again; he slips the nightgown over her body. Pulling the covers back, he tucks her into bed, making sure she is completely comfortable. He takes off his vest and tie so that he himself can be a little more comfortable, now wearing just his collared shirt, suspenders, and trousers. When he sits back down in the chair and releases a couple of the top buttons to loosen his collar, Kate frowns.

“Sebastian… no. Please, I need you. Please… I want you to hold me,” she asks softly, with desperation in her voice. 

Sebastian doesn’t need to be asked more than once. He immediately climbs into the bed next to Kate, holding her tightly. 

“I’m here, Kate. It’s alright. You are safe,” he whispers, his tone comforting and reassuring. “I’m here. I’m here for you.”

Kate breathes slowly and deeply, relishing in his soothing touch as he caresses her arm. “Please don’t leave me. Please… please don’t leave me, Sebastian.”

Sebastian looks at Kate, his eyes filled with both sadness and love. He repositions them, laying her head on his chest, his arm holding her tight. “I’m not letting you go. I’m not leaving you here. Not tonight, nor any other night,” he whispered. “Don’t worry, my love. I’m here to stay.”

Kate’s eyes search Sebastian’s after he kisses her forehead. She snuggles into his strong arms. He throws the covers over both of them. He holds her close, reassuring her over and over that everything will be okay, that he will take care of her. 

Sebastian’s heartbeat is soothing. Its slow and steady tempo comforts Kate. 

“Go to sleep, Kate. I will be here to keep you safe,” he softly told her. “I love you. Good night, sunshine.”

When she gives in to her exhaustion, she moves to rest her arm over Sebastian’s chest. Her leg settles over his in an attempt to be as close to him as possible. Her body craves his warmth and comfort and protection, even unconsciously. 

Sebastian looks down at the petite girl curled around him. Her flowing hair is all spread out behind her, over his arm and on the bed. His heart feels as though it might explode as he listens to her steady breathing. Despite how awful - how truly awful - the evening had been, he’s finally here with Kate, spending the night caring for her. It does not matter how badly his hands and body ache - Sebastian feels as though he is in paradise now, the woman he loves clinging to him peacefully.

“You and me, Kate. We will make it. We will be together forever. I know it,” he murmurs, understanding that she is fast asleep but needing to say it out loud just the same. 

Sebastian kisses Kate’s forehead once more. He would give anything to live in this moment forever - he doesn’t want to sleep at all. Not daring to move a muscle, he stays awake as long as he can - long enough to hear Kate begin to snore softly. That night, he closes his eyes with a smile.

[missaengg]

Always

Characters: Liam Evans x MC (Kate) Tags: Angst, Liam's perspective Word Count: 502 Note: Currently working through Liam's route in Ikevil at the moment, and the whole time all I wanted to do was scream, "Who hurt you!?", and wrap him in my arms and squeeze him tight T.T

Liam Evans had only ever known pain. Shame. He lived life fearing his tomorrows. Until he met her, his Kate. But... old demons are hard to let go.

ao3 link here.

I awoke suddenly, breathless, sweat dripping and pooling beneath my back. The feeling lingered, a sense of pervasive, deep loneliness.

‘Not good enough…’

That damn voice. It whispered in my ear, its words twisting around my body and soul, sinking in with its barbed thorns. The voice always started off as my father, but in the end, it always morphed into one I recognized immediately – myself.

‘Pathetic…’

‘Worthless…’

‘Disgusting…’

‘A mistake…’

‘Just die already…’

I clamped my hands over my ears, head buried between my knees, ragged breaths heaving my chest against my thighs. But the voice didn’t stop. It never stopped.

Until I met her.

Kate.

The warm, glowing embers of a dying fire.

With her, I felt life might be worth living, that tomorrow was to be anticipated not feared. I only ever wanted to make her smile.

Perhaps that was why I had the curse of curiosity, an excuse to punish myself. Curiosity killed the cat! Too cowardly to die by my own hand, hoping one day my curse will lead me to my tragic end, my death, my escape from this hellish life.

Until I met her.

Tears began streaming down my cheeks, down my calves, to the bed, and I sobbed, wracking sobs shaking my shoulders, stealing the air from my lungs.

Why won’t the voice stop?

“Liam?” The bed creaked as the weight shifted. “Oh, Liam.”

Warm arms embraced me from the side. Kate nuzzled her nose into my neck.

I buried my face further into my knees, ashamed. I was pathetic, so pathetic. How could someone so kind and so strong love someone like me? And yet I knew that I would do anything for her, even if it meant meeting my untimely end early.

Soft lips pressed into the skin behind my ear. Her hand grabbed mine and lowered it from the side of my face.

“Liam, please look at me.” Her hand pressed against my cheek, her thumb wiping away my tears.

I didn’t want to show her this side of me, but I needed her, desperately. I was hopeless. 

I peeked my head up from between my knees. Kate peered into my eyes, concern flooding her gaze. She smoothed back the hair that had fallen into my face. I leaned into her touch. I needed her.

She leaned forward and brushed her lips against mine. She tasted so sweet. Then she hugged me, holding my head against her chest. I wrapped my arms around her tight like a child fearing that she may disappear if I let go.

Kate patted the back of my head soothingly until my tears stopped.

“Better?”

I nodded.

“I love you.” Tears welled in my eyes and threatened to spill again.

“I’m never leaving you.” I clenched my eyes shut and bit my lip.

“I’m forever yours, Liam Evans.” My arms tightened even further around her waist.

I was forever hers, Kate’s, my light, my warmth, my hope, my joy, my salvation.

Always and forever hers.

Always.

[poedameronwifey]

A true home(The hobbit Fanfic)

Chapter 16

Third Pov

It's been a few days since settling in Rivendell. Dwalin has been teaching the girls and throughout training, he got even more impressed with the girls' skills. When he informed Thorin, he decided to watch their training to see for himself the girls' progress. So far he was just that, impressed.

Currently, he was watching Renee and Kili sparring. Kili attacked first, to anyone who had fighting experience would see that he was clumsy with his movements, but Renee blocked his attack very easily, she used her quick reflexes to step to the side to get out of the way of his attack. He stumbled and attempted to fight back but Renee was faster. She kicked behind his knees to make him fall, and quickly Kili turned to defend himself with his sword however Renee managed to use her own to send his sword flying out of his hand and brought hers to his throat.

Thorin was very impressed. He didn't expect Renee to be this good. He underestimated her. He had already seen Fili and Kate fight. She was also very good. Almost won but in the last second Fili was victorious. He had yet to see Lilith fight. She was going to spar with Dwalin the next day. He had a feeling that she would last against Dwalin. He was surprised that the girls could hold their own but at least he didn't need to worry about them being inexperienced.

It was currently night time and the company were sitting around the fire, telling stories and jokes. Thorin sat next to Dwalin and Balin. They were discussing who knows what. Renee, Kate and Bilbo sat next to Gloin, listening to him speak about his family and even saw pictures of them.

Bofur, Bifur, Nori, and Oin were telling stories as Lilith listened, laughing at them. Kate sat next to Renee with her head in Bilbo's lap. Fili and Kili were being little menaces. Now I bet you're all wondering what Thorin, Dwalin and Balin are talking about. Say no more. Let's go and eavesdrop. Balin and Thorin and Dwalin were smoking from their pipes.

"I am quite surprised that Renee managed to beat Kili. She seems very well trained. Good job brother. And Kate almost beat Fili. We have yet to see Lilith's skills but I have faith that she will do just fine. The lassies are very skilled."

"Aye, they are. Renee was able to figure out almost all of Kili's moves, she managed to overpower him. Kate was very good, she still needs a bit more lessons but I think she's very skilled. I have a feeling that Lilith will be able to hold her own against Dwalin. I am very interested in how the fight will go tomorrow."

"Me too. The lass looks like she can handle herself. They are very strong, despite them being very small and nimble. I think we can make warriors out of them. Maybe they'll surpass Fili and Kili."

They all chuckled.

"I've noticed something, Thorin. Lilith is a lot like how you were when you were a wee lad. When I first met her that night in Bag End, her face reminded me of you, especially her smirk. Her personality is a lot like yours. Loyal, and protective of her friends and family. It's almost like a female version of you. But she's also a lot like Elenor. Her love for nature, she's understanding and stern but fair and kind. I see the way she is with everyone. She sees them as her family. She's protective of her sisters and Bilbo. She feels that responsibility to keep them safe like you did after we lost Erebor. I have a feeling she would get along well with Dis. All of them would."

Thorin looked at Lilith as he listened to Dwalin speak. Lilith was so much like he was back then. But she had this soft side as well, like Elenor. It was hard enough that she looked a bit like her. He made his peace with her departure. He still loved her but it wasn't as strong as before. She will always be his first love. He often wondered if she was still alive. Did she get married? Have children? Return to her kin? All he hoped was that she was safe and happy.

He smiled slightly as he watched Lilith. She was listening to Bofur when she felt eyes on her. She turned and saw Thorin staring at her with a small smile. She decided to smile back and waved at Dwalin and Balin. The former sent her a smile and the other a wink. She excused herself and walked over to them. Dwalin moved over a bit, allowing her to sit next to him.

"Why are you guys sitting here? Come join us. To be honest I can only handle another 2 minutes of laughing before I explode."

They chuckled at her dramatics. She just grinned happily.

"Yay, now you don't look so grumpy. Honestly, you two need to smile more. It's not good to brood so much. Trust me. Renee has a degree in psychology, she tells me every single day to stop brooding. Hell once she even said I reminded her of you, Thorin. I didn't know if I should feel offended or flattered. I'm just kidding. But seriously, smile a little more. Whoa can't believe I just said that. I must have switched personalities with Renee. Would explain why I've been very sleepy recently."

Balin looked at Lilith with a concerned look. Dwalin and Thorin just looked at her with a mock glare before chuckling. She was proud of herself. She managed to make two of the grumpiest people she had ever met smile. If that's not a skill, then she doesn't know what is.

"Are you alright lass?"

"Oh yeah, I'm good. Just still tired from the whole warg strangling thing. I have no clue what that was. I'll ask Lord Elrond tomorrow after sparring. To be honest, I don't think it's just me. Kate has been staring at the water in the fountain like she's in some fucking trance, almost like she's trying to communicate with it and Renee keeps trying to put her hands in the fire. I know that she's always found fire to be a bit comforting but this is going too far. I'm really worried. Hopefully, it's nothing bad."

"Did Renee burn her hands?"

"No, Thank God. Bifur and Bofur managed to snap her out of it. I just pray that we aren't being possessed. I don't have the mental capacity to deal with Satan. I have enough stuff to worry about. On the top of the list, is making sure we reclaim Erebor and help my sisters along the way. They need all the help they can get. Don't tell them I said that. I wanna wake up with eyebrows, please. Great. Nice doing business with you."

She winked at them, making them laugh. She let out a yawn. She decided that she was too lazy to go back to the room so she moved around until she was next to Thorin. She put her head on his lap, snuggling into it. She looked like a little. Thorin froze at first but eventually gave in to the feeling. He put his coat around her so that she wouldn't get cold. He looked at her. He didn't like this feeling at first but now he doesn't care. He swore to himself that he would protect the girls. He would protect Lilith as if she was his own.

Dwalin and Balin saw this and knew then and there that Lilith had Thorin wrapped around her finger. They were that she managed to make him smile and feel less pain. Lilith had become important to them just like Kate and Renee. The girls managed to worm their way into their hearts. They saw them as if they were their kin.

Renee looked at Lilith sleeping with her head on Thorin's lap and smiled. They looked so cute. Like father and daughter. She noticed that she was getting sleepy so she let out a yawn. Kili heard her, chuckling at how cute she looked.

"Renee, come lay here. You're tired."

She didn't question it, she was far too tired and sore to care. She bid goodnight to everyone and went off to Kili who was on a make-shift bed. He was lying on his back and opened his arms. She laid down next to him, putting her head on his chest and snuggled into him. He put his coat over them and kissed her forehead, running his fingers through her hair. They both drifted off to sleep.

Vision

It was storming as the dwarves were walking along the path in the Misty mountains. Bilbo almost fell but Dwalin caught the back of his cloak, pulling him up. All of a sudden the mountains move and turn into stone giants. There was a fight going on between two of them.

The mountain that the dwarves and halfling were on turned out to be one as well. The company was separated, half on one leg and the other half on the other leg. Fili tried to grab Kili's hand but no luck. One half of the company managed to get off the stone giant and on to a safer part of the mountains but the other half weren't as lucky.

The stone giant that they were on fell, sending them into the mountainside. The others watched in horror as their friends were smashed into the side of the mountains. Thorin yelled for Fili as he ran to where they landed. He was able to find them alive and okay, running to pull his nephew into his arms.

Bofur looked around and noticed Bilbo was not among them. He yelled for him and noticed him hanging for dear life on the edge of the mountain. They tried to help him but he was too far away. Then the image blurred and went dark.

Renee woke up, sweat dripping from her forehead. Her eyes widened from shock and fear. She looked around with panic, making sure everyone was there. The others were now sleeping, making her look in Bilbo's direction. He was snoring softly against the wall with Kate's head in his lap. She let out a deep breath that she didn't know she held. She teared up at the thought of almost losing her family. She turned to see that Kili was sleeping, snoring softly with his arm around her waist. She didn't want to admit it but couldn't deny it anymore. She settled down next to him, laying her head on his chest and her arm around his waist. He responded immediately, pulling her closer to him, and wrapping his arm around her more securely. She listened to his heartbeat as she tried to fall asleep again. The sound of his heart lulling her to sleep.

The morning came and Kate woke up. She yawned and rubbed her eyes as she sat up. She looked around, noting that she was the only one awake at the moment. She looked at her dad and noticed that he was still asleep. She smiled and got up. She stretched and closed her eyes to breathe in the air of a new day. She looked for her sisters and saw Lilith sleeping with her head in Thorin's lap. Thorin put his coat on her to make sure she was nice and warm with his arm protectively draped around her. They looked like father and daughter. It was so cute. She decided to get changed so she went to her room and changed into her dance clothes. She brushed her hair and left it loose. She checked herself over in the mirror and went back to the dwarves. When she got back, everyone except Lilith was awake and chatting amongst themselves. Bofur noticed her and grinned at her. She grinned back at him and sat down next to him, putting her head on his shoulder. In a brotherly way, not that way. That's reserved for Fili.

"Morning lass. How'd ya sleep?"

"Morning Bofur. I slept great. I'm just starving. I have to wake up Lilith so we can raid the kitchen. I know that Renee is hungry enough to eat a horse. Btw what do you think is going on between her and Kili? When I woke up, they were sleeping together and cuddling. I swear it was so cute. All I know is I have some serious teasing to do."

"I know that Kili likes her. I wonder when he's going to man up and tell her. It's painful watching them try to hide their feelings."

"Amen to that."

Kate lifted her head and looked around for Fili. He was standing, talking to his brother about who knows what. Maybe he was teasing him. I wouldn't be surprised. When he was done talking to him, he noticed Kate was looking at him, making him grin and walked over to her. He sat down next to her, putting his arm around her waist. Kate wouldn't stop blushing as Bofur smirked at her, wiggling his eyebrows. She just gave him the finger and rolled her eyes.

Time passed and it was time for Lilith and Dwalin's spar. The company were sitting, making bets while Renee and Kate were talking to Lilith.

"You got this. Show how badass you truly are."

"Hell yeah. Give him HELL."

"You know I will. Oh btw after this we need to see Lord Elrond and Gandalf."

"Is this about Renee almost burning her fingers with the fire and fountain thing?"

"Yes and the warg strangling. We need to figure out what's happening to us. So as soon as we are done here, we make our way to Lord Elrond. Got it?"

The other two nodded in agreement. They both hugged Lilith, making their way to where the others were and sat next to Bombur, who smiled at them. Dwalin walked to the middle, Lilith following behind him. They faced each other, axes in hand.

Lilith had her daggers in case she needed them. Lilith was ready to show them just how skilled she was. The match started and they were off. Lilith was blocking all of Dwalin's attacks and even managed to land a hit or two on him. They were both focused on beating the other. Dwalin knocked her back with his axe and saw an opening to attack her but Lilith saw this and jumped out of the way in time. They kept fighting until all of a sudden, Lilith's head started to hurt. This allowed Dwalin to knock her down, winning the match, or so they thought.

Lilith managed to use this moment of Dwalin's lowered guard to strike. However, since she lost her axe and her daggers fell out of their scabbard she had to resort to using her combat training to win the spar. When Dwalin noticed this he quickly got back into position.

The two started circling each other, watching, waiting for the right time for their attack on the other. Lilith knew that she was no match for Dwalin's strength so the best way to win with someone stronger than you is to use their own body against them.

So what's the best way to do that? Well, you make them mad. It makes anyone clumsy.

Lilith made a move to attack from the right, when Dwalin moved to block it, she quickly dropped down and swiped his feet from under him. Dwalin was in so much shock that he couldn't move. Making her the winner of the match.

There was complete silence. No one made any noise or movements. All of a sudden, when Lilith reached out her hand to pull Dwalin up everyone let out roars of cheers. Everyone was so impressed with Lilith's skills. No one except Thorin could last that long in a fight against Dwalin.

Renee and Kate ran to her, concerned that she may have gotten hurt. Dwalin led Lilith to a seat so she could sit down as he noticed she was getting quite pale.

After a while, everyone calmed down. Lilith had colour starting to appear on her cheeks again. At this, the others voiced their concerns about how she was feeling.

"I'm fine. My head just started to hurt. It's like a fucking migraine but ten times worse."

"Okay up we go. Let's go to Lord Elrond. Maybe he can help."

She just nodded and took Renee's hands. Thorin and Dwalin decided to come with them. They found Lord Elrond walking around. Renee called out to him, causing him to walk to us.

"Lord Elrond, could you please take a look at Lilith? Her head started hurting out of nowhere."

"Of course. Come with me, little one."

They walked with him to her room and laid her down on the bed. The girls stood by Thorin and Dwalin while Lord Elrond examined Lilith. Renee was picking at her skin and playing with her fingers. When Lord Elrond was done, Renee and Kate ran to her side.

"Well is she okay?"

"Yes. I however wish to ask. Have you done anything unusual at all? For example, used magic? I am asking because I can feel magic within you."

"Actually yes. When we were being chased by orcs, I strangled a warg. I don't know how but I felt something inside me awaken and vines started to wrap around it and killed it. I felt all my energy suddenly leave my body. Is that normal?"

"It's not that common amongst humans. Perhaps you are part of an elf or have an elven heritage?"

"Not that I know of. My mother didn't tell me much about my family. Hell, I don't even know who my father is. But now that I think about it, her ears were a bit pointed and she was always able to hear things that we couldn't."

"I mean if Kate was from Earth and is Bilbo's daughter then maybe there's a high chance that Mama was from Middle Earth. What if she left and went through the cave? Maybe she was an elf?"

"Tell me what was your mother's name? Perhaps I know her?"

"Her name was Elenor. She looked a lot like you but her hair was light brown."

Lord Elrond froze. It couldn't be. That's the exact description of his daughter.

"D-Did she have a leaf-like birthmark on her arm?"

"Y-Yes. How'd you know?"

"Did you know our mama?"

"Yes.. yes I did. She was very important to me," He took a deep breath before looking at the girls with sad eyes, "She was my daughter."

The girls' eyes widened in shock. Mama was from Middle Earth. Which means that Lilith was part elf. She looked at Lord Elrond with teary eyes. Kate had her hand over her mouth as she looked at him.

"That means... you're my grandfather."

"Holy Shit!!!!!!! You're his granddaughter-Ow. What was that for? Kate?"

Renee looked from Lord Elrond to Lilith and back to Lord Elrond before she was slapped by Kate. She repeated that a few times before fainting.

Thorin was in shock as was Dwalin. Lilith was part elf. But that isn't what shocked him. No,, it was the fact that his first love had a daughter and she was sitting in this room. He didn't know how to feel. He was angry, hurt and sad. Angry because Elenor didn't tell him that she had someone, hurt because he loved her and she left him, sad because now he knew why Lilith reminded him of Elenor. But one thing still confused him. Who was Lilith's father?

He walked towards the bed where Lilith lay and now Renee, because she's a drama queen pretended to faint. She managed to hit her head and had to lie down, she just decided to be next to her.

He needed to know. As he made his way to his ex-lover's daughter he noticed something in her hair, a small shine. A bead. One that was connected to Dwarvish customs. It was a courting bead. And one he knew all too well, as he was the one who made it.

"Where did you give that bead?"

"This? Mama gave it to me. Said my father gave it to her when he asked to court her. She never really said much about him. Maybe you know who made it. Here, take a look."

She took the bead out of her hair and gave it to Thorin with a hopeful look. He took it and examined it. There was no mistake. This was his bead. The one he made for Elenor when he asked to court her. Lilith was his daughter. He had a daughter. He looked up at her with teary eyes.

"I...I gave this bead to your mother when I asked to court her."

Lilith looked at him, tears running down her face Renee and Kate looked at each other and looked at Thorin. He was her father. Thorin Oakenshield was her father. She started crying and he immediately came to her side, pulling her into his arms. She cried in his chest. He rubbed her back and ran his fingers through her hair, tears running down his face. Renee and Kate were crying, happy that Lilith found her father. Dwalin came up to them, teary and pulled them in for a hug, which they returned. Lord Elrond was crying so Renee went to hug him. Thorin and Lilith pulled apart. Thorin took her face in his hands, wiping away her tears and putting their foreheads together.

"I finally found you. I'm sorry for taking so long."

"No, daughter, It's not your fault. I'm here now. I'm here. I won't ever leave you again. I promise."

Lilith smiled through her tears. She then looked at Lord Elrond. Thorin seemed to understand what she wanted to do so he got up to allow lord Elrond to hug his granddaughter.

"Grandfather. I can't believe it. You're my grandfather."

Lord Elrond spoke in Sindarin, "I am here my little star. You look so much like your mother."

Kate and Renee went to the other side and joined the hug, making Dwalin and Thorin smile.

"Guess that makes you our grandfather as well."

"Yeah because Lilith's our sister and you're her grandfather so that makes you our grandfather."

Lord Elrond pulled away from Lilith, laughing before hugging the other two.

"I am honoured to have you three as my granddaughters. My daughter raised you well. I couldn't be prouder."

"Yeah, she was the best mother we could've asked for."

The girls all looked at each other, smiling. Lord Elrond decided to let the family catch up. He kissed each girl on the forehead and excused himself, closing the door behind him. Dwalin came up to the bed. Renee got an idea.

'Hey if Thorin's your dad then Dwalin's like your Godfather in a way. Think about it."

"Hey, you're right Reni! How do you feel about Dwalin? Being Lilith's Godfather?"

He smiled at them. "Aye,, I would be honoured."

The girls grinned happily. "Come on. We have to tell the others. They're going to be so surprised."

"Oh hell yeah, I wanna see Kili and Fili's faces when they find out I'm their cousin."

They all left to find the company to tell them the good news. 

[panlight]

The thing is, whenever people are like, 'The Denalis must like the Cullens because they didnt break them off completely over Laurent' I always feel confused by that because they knew Laurent for all of 9 months roughly? And the explicit reason he died was because he was helping his friends attempts at revenge against Edward. Like, between someone I've lived with for 9 months, and someone I've not only lived with for a while but have known for an actual century, it feels like no contest? Like, Laurent is the one who betrayed them at that point, he went out of his way to help majorly hurt people they've been close enough to to call Family.

Which is why it’s so weird the Cullens don’t seem at all bothered by Irina’s death in Breaking Dawn. Like, look, I get that she kind of screwed them with the telling the Volturi about Renesmee thing. But right before she was killed she apologized, declared their innocence, said she was mistaken. And they’ve known her since at least the 1930s. They’ve known her longer than they’ve known Jasper and Alice and WAY longer than they’ve known Bella! The feelings might be complicated but THERE SHOULD BE SOME FEELINGS and it’s just not there because BELLA doesn’t know Irina. 

Laurent and Bella both are such recent additions to this family group compared to the others. It takes time to build relationships. You can like someone right away! But you don’t have a history with them yet. The Cullens and Denalis have history but because BELLA doesn’t we just don’t get to sense the weight of that history. It’s not relevant to her. She doesn’t really know these people. It’s that protagonist-centered everything problem again. Because she doesn’t care, no one else seems to care, because SM just can’t be bothered to get out of Bella’s POV hardly at all. It would be so easy to drop in little bits about like, IDK, Emmett being upset in Eclipse because the Denali won’t help because he thought Kate was his bestie or something. Everyone being more upset or at least conflicted about what happened to Irina rather than everyone just . . . not seeming to notice she died at all other than her sisters. (Because let’s face it the main reason she was killed was so Garrett could have his hero moment restraining Kate and getting shocked but holding on anyway. Not really about Irina at all). 

And Irina and Laurent weren’t at mate level yet apparently! 

You can tell this is a romance because the romantic relationships (Edward/Bella and Laurent/Irina) are lifted above other, longer relationships. I mean realistically I could see Tanya and Kate being like “Laurent was hanging around with sketchy vampires. He f*cked around and found out. I’m sorry your boyfriend’s dead but he kind of sucked” and agreeing to help to the Cullens in Eclipse while Irina stayed home pouting. And the Cullens in Breaking Dawn being broken up about Irina and Bella being like “huh? She betrayed us?” and Edward explaining they’ve known her for a long time and the feelings are complicated but strong. But instead it’s like “well Irina loved him so that’s the most important thing, no other context matters” and “well, Edward loves Bella so we’re just gonna have to put up with *gestures at The Twilight Saga and the Cullens repeatedly risking death* all this.” 

[edourado]

Diamonds and Pearls

Dear gentle reader,

Be kind to this author.

Tagging dears @carry-the-sky @ninzied @ejunkiet @evilbunnyking

read it on Ao3

He smelled it before he opened the door.

Lillies. 

Taking a moment to breathe in, Anthony wondered if he’d ever had any particular preference for the fragrance before. Before her. 

“Oh”, he heard, and turned his head to the side. Her lady’s maid had just turned the corner, holding a box in her hands, and offered him a small curtsy. “Good evening, my Lord.”

“Are these for Lady Bridgerton?”

“Yes, my Lord, for tonight.”

He reached for it. 

“I’ll give them to her.”

She - what was her name, again? - blinked at him, and he nodded in encouragement. 

“It’s alright. She’ll send for you later.”

Reluctantly, she gave him the box, and blinked up at him before curtsying again and turning around. 

Anthony opened the door, his senses being assaulted all at once. 

The strong smell of lillies and soap, the warmth of the fire that burned on the fireplace.

The vision of his wife standing in front of the mirror, long dark hair cascading down her back. 

And then the taste of her skin on his lips when he touched his mouth to her shoulder, adjusting the silk from her robe out of his way. 

“I wasn’t expecting you until later”, she said, adjusting to him when he wrapped an arm around her, pulling her closer, closer, she never seemed to be close enough. 

“The most curious thing”, he said against her skin, dropping the box in the general direction of the chair by the mirror. “Ever since I met you, I can’t seem to be able to do any proper work.”

She chuckled, and that eyebrow - insolent, daring, infuriatingly charming - arched right up, her hand coming to rest on top of his when he started to work on the knot that tied her robe together. “Do not blame me for your focusing problems, my Lord.”

“But that’s the thing”, Anthony said into her hair, inhaling that intoxicating scent. “It is all your fault.”

“What shall I do”, she mused, adjusting her body against his, her skin so warm under his palms, softer than the silk she wore. “They will all blame me if you drive the family to ruin.”

Anthony chuckled, and turned her face to him so he could collect the kiss he had been craving since the moment he sat down to work. 

Kate turned inside his arms, lifting her own to wrap around his shoulder and neck, kissing him softly, slowly, lovingly. 

“I can’t be late” she said when his hands dipped to grab her. “And I haven’t yet chosen my dress.”

“May I help?” He asked, just to ask, just to say something, focusing entirely on the feel of her.

“You may”, she replied, allowing him one more kiss, as deep as he liked, before pushing him away and turning to clear the chair for him. 

Anthony sat down, smiling when she draped a load of dresses on top of his legs, along with the box - shoe box - he had taken from the little woman outside their door. 

“Did Sarah send this?” She asked, taking off the lid. 

Sarah, that’s right. That was her name. “I intercepted her just now.”

Picking up one of the dresses, Kate straightened up and again faced the mirror. 

“What do you think?”

The last time Anthony had been asked to weigh in on a dress had been years ago, when Hyacinth had asked him which tiny gown she should get for her dolls, back when she was six. 

“It’s beautiful”, was what he said, because it was. 

Kate inspected her own image for a few more moments before turning to him again, dropping said dress on his legs and picking up another one.

“What about this?”

Anthony pretended to analyze three more dresses, not really knowing the difference between any of them. One wasn’t blue, he supposed. 

He was comfortable there, watching her, following with his eyes as locks of her hair fell over her shoulder, and she pushed them back with her hand, the robe he had loosened earlier precariously holding its place around her. 

Sitting there holding her dresses, he felt himself sink further into the chair - a quite comfortable one - letting the tension of the day slip away from him, enjoying the privileged view of her. 

“I should have asked your sister”, she mused out loud, after picking up the first - second?- dress back up. 

Anthony furrowed his brows. 

“You never seemed indecisive about what to wear before.”

Kate cocked her hair to the side. 

“I’ve never been to one of Lady Danbury’s special soirées before.”

“What is so special about it?” He asked, reaching out to run the tip of his finger over the side of her leg. 

“It is for the married ladies of the ton.”

“I shudder to think of it.”

She offered him a sly smile, and went back to deciding on which dress to wear. 

“I’d like to wear your gift”, she said, pointing to her vanity, where the box containing the necklace he had presented her on their honeymoon sat opened. 

Anthony got up, picking the jewel on his hands and walking back to stand behind her, placing it on her neck. 

“I much prefer it when you wear it for me”, he said, feeling mellowed, feeling warmer and warmer, feeling like he was being entranced by her scent, by her feel, by the fire. 

“Hmm. I’d like to wear it to my first soirée as the Viscountess, if you wouldn’t mind.”

Every time she said that, it did something to him. Not always the same thing, though. Sometimes it was something that gripped his chest, something big that said “you really have a Viscountess, you really are a married man”. Sometimes it was a fear that spread from the back of his head, that he wouldn’t be able to give her everything she deserved, everything she wanted, everything she was owed. Sometimes it was a thrilling thing, sometimes it was a mellow thing. 

And sometimes - like this time - it was something that crawled around his skin, licking on his ears and brushing against his lips, awakening him as it went. 

Clasping it around her neck, Anthony pushed her hair out of his way and over her shoulder, then moving to finally remove her robe. 

“I’d like you to stay”, he said as he looked at her reflection in the mirror, all skin and hair and diamonds and pearls. 

Anthony held her against him, hands roaming, closing his eyes when she lifted her own and reached back, running her fingers inside his hair.

“Would my husband really ask this of me?” she wondered aloud, her tone doing nothing to break the strange spell settling over him. “To ignore my first social duty as his Viscountess?” 

“Your husband would much rather have you all to himself.”

“And pass on the opportunity to brag?”

He lifted his eyes to look at hers. 

“Brag?”

Kate turned to him, her skin sliding against his clothes, her hands on his arms, fingers pressing him from elbows to shoulders, her eyes alight with mischief.

“Do you know how many women in the English society resent me, my Lord?”

He lifted his brows, stealing a nibble of her lower lip. 

“Because I arrived from so far away, only to snatch the Viscount Anthony Bridgerton right off their hands in one season”. He chuckled. “The very first season he actually set out to find a wife.”

“I wasn’t aware there was so much drama.”

“Oh, there is. You should see the looks I get from the debutants.”

He kissed her. 

“Cressida Cowper seemed ready to throw me under a carriage at the park yesterday.”

He tasted the skin of her neck, tipping her head back so he could get to that one spot. 

“Many of them seemed to be dreaming of the title, you see. Viscountess.”

He held her against him, pressing and feeling, tongue on skin. 

“They dreamed of the man himself.” He felt her hands on the buttons of his waistcoat, swiftly undoing one by one. “The untamable rake, with a reputation that would make every respectable woman blush.”

With a lingering kiss under her ear, Anthony moved his head back to look at her. 

“And what do you know of my reputation, my Lady?”

Her lips stretched in a smile, that same one that used to drive him mad and now only drove him… Mad. 

“Oh, I know plenty.” He smiled down at her, not resisting, stealing a kiss. “Tales of your… Adventures run wild.”

He inspected her expression.

“Should I worry?”

“A little”, she said, pinching him on his hip, making him squirm away, pulling her closer closer closer by her waist. “But then again, I knew most of them when I accepted your hand in marriage.”

“Some firsthand.”

“Hmm. Indeed.”

She kissed him, heavens, she kissed him, and removed his waistcoat completely. Anthony had his arms full of her, hands inside her hair, pulling and tugging until she sighed against him, her fingers working on loosening his shirt. 

“So you can imagine”, she went on when he dipped his head under her collarbone, eager to taste. “How frustrated these ladies can be, that in just a few months, I took the opportunity to become Lady Bridgerton from them.” Her turn to taste the skin of his neck, which she did, her tongue running from jaw to collarbone. “And that I get you, and your talents, all to myself.”

Oh, he loved her. He loved her, and the way her skin felt under his fingers, how it tasted on his mouth, how her scent seemed to drug him, rendering him useless, powerless, completely hers. 

“But not right now”, she said, turning her face away from his, pushing him gently away from her, turning around, allowing him to pull her back to him while putting her hair precariously up. 

Anthony groaned against her skin. 

“Can you pick that up for me?” She asked, oh so sweet, and he dipped to pick up the discarded robe from the floor. 

“I, however”, he commented while she put the silk around herself again. “Seem to have underestimated your cruel reputation.”

She clicked her tongue, caressing his face sweetly, a finger tracing the line of his jaw. 

“You call it cruelty. I call it reparations.”

With a heavy sigh, Anthony tried to make peace with the fact that she really was going to abandon him to his lonesome in favor of Lady Danbury, of all people. 

“But don’t fret”, she said, pulling the cord to call her lady’s maid. “I’ll go and have my fun”, she turned to him when he sat back in the chair, bending to place a kiss on his lips. “And then I’ll come back, and we’ll have ours.”

He would try to pull her on top of him, but young Sarah was on her way, so he just accepted her kiss and his fate. 

“Go change. I’ll order you a bath.”

.:.

Anthony had had every intention of waiting up for her. But the bath she had ordered had relaxed him further than he anticipated, and when he walked back into his bedchamber, his eyes were heavy, and his bed seemed exceedingly comfortable. 

Kate was already gone, but he noticed the tray with dinner the butler had placed on the table for him, most likely on her order. 

He ate swiftly, and by the time someone came to take it away, he was barely conscious anymore.

He slept almost as soon as his head touched the pillow. 

Only to wake up to that smell again, that maddening scent of lilies, laced with something else. Smoke and wine. 

Opening his eyes, he sighed when he felt her weight on top of him, her hands working on ridding him of his pyjamas. 

Why he had donned them in the first place, he didn’t know. 

Still somewhat disoriented, Anthony reached out to grab whatever part of his wife he could reach. His hands found one thigh, already exposed by her gown, and her chest. 

He moved his hand up, watching as she worked on the complicated twists of her hairdo. Securing her in place on top of him, he sat up, and sighed against her, breathed her in. 

“Did you have fun?”

“Hmm”. She nodded and he felt her smile against his lips, tasted the wine on her tongue. He didn’t much like the smell of smoke that clinged to her hair, but the scent of her skin more than made up for it. 

“And did you miss me?”

Adjusting the skirts of her gown around her, she let out that sound, that one that she made just for him, when she gave him the control, that sound that meant she was pliant, willing, eager, his, so very his. 

While she tried to unpin her hair, he worked on the intricate works of her dress, trying to mind it, to remember that she had chosen it so carefully. 

Kate was kissing him when he finally did it, moving her hips sensually against his when he finished that one knot, and the fabrics loosened around her, and he tugged and pulled it up and off and away, thrown on the floor and forgotten. 

Lying down again, he admired her, disheveled, eyes hooded, watching him right back. 

“Lady Danbury does serve the best wine”, he commented, amused by the flush of her cheeks, the less than graceful quality of her movements.

She smiled and nodded, rolling her hips again, making him close his eyes and grit his teeth, holding on to her thighs, gripping them strongly, enjoying the feel on her nails on his chest. 

“I want another lesson”, she said, purred, and Anthony was awake, body and mind, completely unaware of the time, the day or the month, he just knew her, with him, it’s all he needed to know, all he wanted to know. 

Her, here, with him.

“You promised to teach me.”

He groaned when she sunk around him, a chunk of her skin between his teeth, for once glad that their honeymoon was over, glad for the damned soirée, glad for the wine she had, all those things meaning that he didn’t have to be so gentle anymore, that he could go a little harder, could push her a little further, show her something new, one or two, to watch as she felt, hear her as she moaned, as she learned, to learn with her. 

His mouth on hers, Anthony brought her closer, and as he moved a little sharper, he learned what it meant to really mean it, to completely lose himself in her. When he laid her down against the pillows, her legs around his hips, he understood that no matter how many times he had done this before her, and how little experience she had, she was the only one that had this, that was this, that did this to him, the only one with the power to completely undo him, to render him helpless, defenseless and silent. 

Well. Not quite so silent. 

Kate moved under him and he watched, and she watched, and he loved her. With everything he had, he loved her.

“I love you”, she echoed, and he smiled, and pulled her leg higher on his hip, tasted her moan on his tongue, her skin and the diamonds and pearls on her necklace glowing, the dying flames on the fireplace reflecting on them. 

.:.

Lord and Lady Bridgerton missed breakfast the next morning, and the staff snickered to each other while taking away untouched plates and cutlery. 

“I thought their honeymoon was over“, said young Sarah when the butler instructed her to prepare a tray to be taken upstairs later. 

The cook looked at her, bacon sizzling on the stovetop, and smiled, shaking her head.

“You’re new. You’ll learn.” 

[avengerswriter4eva]

Monsters, Part 7 (Yelena/Kate/reader)*

a/n: this is…straight up porn, but here we are.

Warnings: dub!con; Stockholm syndrome; heavy bdsm dynamics; choking; voyeurism; exhibitionism; spitting; orgasm denial; degradation; pate names; honorifics; slapping; rough handling; using; oral; fingering; strap-on use;

Kate and Yelena’s mouth continued to move in a rhythm in front of you. Yelena’s hands reached around your body, the skin of her arms brushing against your sides and setting your skin on fire. She clutched at Kate’s shirt that she slid on over her lingerie in order to say goodbye to their guests properly. Kate started to lift it over her head, but Yelena ripped through the material instead, exposing the lace underneath. You gasped at the feeling of the rougher material against your skin, feeling the firmness of Kate’s skin behind it. Yelena grabbed you by the back of the neck, removing you from between them but holding you in reach, her other hand moving behind Kate’s head, pulling the archer flush against her body. Both of them grunted at the contact, but didn’t break the kiss. You watched helplessly as they pressed into each other, desperate for more contact. Kate reached for Yelena’s shirt, but Yelena slapped her hand away, momentarily releasing you by shoving you backwards, forcing you to sit on the edge of the bed. Kate glared at her indignantly, going to speak, but Yelena cut her off. Yelena pulled her shirt off, breaking the kiss just long enough to lift the material and explain her double standard.

“I like that shirt,” She murmured against Kate’s lips. Kate smiled, her hands cupping Yelena’s face as their heated make-out continued. You must have made some kind of a noise, because the two of them stopped tongue-wrestling long enough to both look at you in unison, and you realized that you were probably in danger. Kate grabbed you by the throat, forcing you to scramble backwards on the bed, your back slamming against the headboard. Yelena reached for the restraints, fastening them around each arm in-turn. An additional strap was fastened around your chest, severely restricting your ability to move. Kate and Yelena clashed together over your legs again, the sound of cloth ripping accompanying the sight of them ripping off each other’s undergarments. Kate reached for Yelena, who slapped her hand away again, Kate groaning in frustration as Yelena took hold of her shoulders.

“What is it?” Kate asked. Yelena rolled her eyes, grabbing Kate’s face.

“Shut up, Kate Bishop. You’re much prettier when you don’t speak.” Kate’s eyes flashed, and she closed her fists over Yelena’s grip, attempting to pull her away. The two struggled for a moment before Yelena’s grip tightened around the archer’s throat, pushing backwards into your lap and your chest. Kate gasped at the feeling of your body behind hers, your breasts pressing into her back, your legs easily around her hips. You groaned as she wiggled her hips slightly, grinding against you as Yelena moved forward, her fingers closing around Kate’s windpipe as she ground their lips together again, her other hand moving down and rolling Kate’s exposed nipples between her fingers, pressing her further into you, Kate helplessly sandwiched between you. Her fingers gripped Yelena’s shoulders, her hips lifting off of your aching core to grind into Yelena’s instead, and you moaned at the feeling of them rocking together, their bodies smashed together, using your body as little more than a mattress. Yelena’s hand moved down, grabbing Kate by the hips and shoving her ass back down into you as she trailed nibbles and wet kisses down Kate’s chest, finally sucking her erect nipples into her mouth one by one. She guided Kate’s movements as she rolled her hips against you, brushing over your exposed clit with every rotation but not enough to get you close.

When Yelena moved her lips down Kate’s stomach, her muscles tensed in anticipation, one hand clutching Yelena’s shoulder, her strong fingers digging into the exposed flesh. Her other hand went backwards, catching the back of your head, tangling in your hair and tugging your face closer into her neck, your breath enough to raise goose bumps. You kissed her neck without being told and her grip tightened before she leaned into the sensation, her head falling back and resting against your shoulder as Yelena continued her journey down. You felt Kate’s frame tense against you as Yelena’s tongue made first contact, swirling around her clit as Kate’s hips arched off of yours again.

“No,” Yelena murmured, her hand grabbing Kate’s hip and shoving it back downward. “Give our baby something to look forward to,” Kate leaned back into you, rolling her hips and her chest in a way that left you drooling from more than one place. You gasped as Kate began moving in a steady rhythm as Yelena’s mouth went back to work as well as her fingers. Kate’s hands moved down, gripping your hips beneath her for leverage as Yelena’s expertise made itself know, bucking uncontrollably whenever the blonde found a particularly sensitive spot.

“Fuck, Yel,” Kate groaned, an animalistic sound. Your heart was thudding in your chest, and you felt on the brink of an orgasm just from the sounds, the smell of Kate invading the room, the way her body was moving against yours. But your heart constricted as well – jealous of the attention that Kate was getting, jealous that you weren’t able to help make her feel this good. You gasped unexpectantly as Kate’s body clenched, her thighs wrapping around Yelena’s head as she gushed into her mouth, Yelena murmuring her appreciation. You tugged on the restraints on your wrists, desperate to move. Kate moved instead, lifting herself off of your body and sliding downward, meeting Yelena halfway as their mouths clashed together again, leaning against your core, making you desperate for friction. You felt a warm hand on each of your inner thighs, your body tensing in anticipation.

“Open,” Yelena ordered. When you paused, your brain rebooting from what you had just seen, a harsh slap echoed, leaving an angry, red, indent on your skin from Kate’s firm hand. You opened your mouth with a whimper, Yelena clutching your cheeks and spitting onto your waiting tongue. “Swallow,” She ordered, eyes nearly rolling back in your head at the taste of Kate lingering in her mouth. You gasped as two sets of fingers began moving up your thigh. A rough thumb pressed against your clit and your tried to squirm without much success.

“Such a slut for us, aren’t you pet?” Kate’s tone was sweet, belying the words exiting her mouth. You felt fingers sliding into you, but it felt different. It felt like more than you were used to.

“You want both of your владельцы to fuck you together, малышка?” Yelena’s voice was little more than a growl and you gasped at the realization of what she said. Yelena’s hand came down roughly on your other thigh and you gasped as they moved slowly in sync inside of you.

“You want to cum so badly, don’t you pet?” Kate cooed at you, torturing you with her sweetness as she railed you mercilessly. In unison, they both stopped moving, their fingers pressed deep inside you but still as you clenched around them desperately. Then they moved away

Kate had Yelena stand in front of you, your mouth inches from her core as she smirked down at you knowingly. “Are you going to be a good girl for me, baby?” She murmured. “You remember this, don’t you?” You nodded up at her, eyes locked on her hazel ones, mouth open as she pushed herself against you, her hands pushing against the wall above the bed as you sucked her swollen clit into your mouth. Kate was pressed behind her, one hand pushing into the blonde from behind as you ate her, pushing her further into your mouth. One hand left the wall as Yelena clutched your hair, grinding your face into her, panting as Kate fucked her at the same time, finally clenching around the archer’s strong, slender fingers as her clit spasmed inside your mouth. Kate cleaned your mouth with hers, shoving her tongue into your mouth fiercely as if claiming the taste for herself. You thought that maybe they decided they had tortured you enough, but you were mistaken.

Kate handed Yelena her favorite strap on, and she fastened it before lowering the tip to your lips, pulling your head forward when you didn’t move fast enough for her liking. Kate watched as you sucked Yelena’s strap, her fingertips moving up and down your thighs and making you shiver. Once Yelena determined you had done enough, she pushed herself between your legs, her back pressed to your front, in a similar way Kate was not too long earlier. She grabbed Kate’s hips, guiding the brunette down onto the strap as Kate straddled both of you, rocking her hips and encouraging the toy in deeper. Kate’s right fist closed around your throat as she increased her movements and you shivered every time Yelena rocked her hips upwards, thrusting into Kate’s movements, her hands gripping and guiding her hips easily. Kate threw her head back, groaning as Yelena moved her hips up to meet her again, clenching around the toy as she collapsed forward on both of you. After a few moments of slow, circular movements, encouraging the full length of Kate’s high, both of them climbed off of you, leaving a trail of dripping sweat down the front of your body, and a mess between your legs.

You felt like you were practically going to burst when they forced your legs further apart before each straddling one of your thighs, rocking together as their mouths fought in front of you. Both of them were soaked, and it made you shiver to know that you had at least helped them feel that good in some, small way. Then they both settled between your legs, taking turns swirling your clit between their lips, using their tongue to bring you to the edge before withdrawing, the other one taking over with their mouth while the first’s fingers moved steadily inside of you. Unable to move, you were completely at their mercy, and they cooed at you teasingly as they refused your release over and over again, slapping your thighs, their fingers leaving moon-shaped indents in your hips. The sounds you were making were no coherent language or verbal at all. After a brief pause with Yelena’s fingers shoved up to the knuckles inside of your and the tip of Kate’s tongue hovering just at the tip of your clit, Kate locked eyes with you. “Cum for us, pet.” Her tongue resumed its ministrations and you collapsed immediately, the orgasm ripping through you more powerful than you could have imagined as you soaked them and the mattress beneath them. Yelena grinned up at you cheekily.

“Such a good girl, for us, малышка. I think you can give us a few more, can’t you?”

[blackswaneuroparedux]

There are two phases of enjoyment in journeying through an unknown country - the eager phase of wondering interest in every detail, and the relaxed phase when one feels no longer an observer of the exotic, but a participator in the rhythm of daily life.

- Dervla Murphy

There are few better literary gatherings than the Immrama Travel Writing festival in Lismore, County Waterford. Huddled quietly on the banks of the River Blackwater at the base of the Knockmealdown Mountains, Lismore is a scenic enough spot but on the face of it an unlikely magnet for the global travel writing community. Yet for two decades a string of stellar travellers including Michael Palin, Jan Morris, Paul Theroux, Kate Adie, Ranulph Fiennes, Terry Waite and Pico Iyer have made pilgrimages to this small rural town three hours south-west of Dublin to share their stories.

What draws notable itinerants from around the world to this rural backwater on the fringe of Europe is the special status it holds for writers and lovers of travel literature. Lismore was the hometown of the remarkable Dervla Murphy, who died on 22 May 2022 at the age of 90.

Here are six must-read books by one of Ireland’s greatest travel writers and explorers. They are all in print and currently available from Eland Publishing, one of my favourite publishing houses of travel writers and explorers, past and present.

1. Full Tilt: Ireland to India with a Bicycle (1965) Dervla’s debut recounts an epic ride to India. Setting out from Lismore in 1963, she travelled via Europe, Iran, Afghanistan and Pakistan on her trusty bicycle, named Roz, facing 50ft snowdrifts in the Turkish highlands and some punishing pedalling through the heat of the Himalayan summer.

2. Where the Indus Is Young (1977) A vivid travelogue detailing Dervla’s somewhat extreme winter hiking trip through Baltistan, in the northern Kashmir region, battling temperatures that dipped to minus 20C. She was accompanied by her daughter, Rachel, then aged six; the only person Dervla ever deigned to travel with.

3. A Place Apart (1978) At the height of the Troubles, aiming to put aside the sectarian loyalties that might have come from her own family connections to the IRA, Dervla cycled to Northern Ireland to try to unpick the situation, creating a travelogue that features revealing interviews and exchanges with locals on both sides of the divide.

4. Wheels Within Wheels (1979) In the autobiography that followed seven travel books, Dervla notes: “Even at 16, I had a strong premonition that I would never marry. Possibly the predictability of the average marriage put me off; it was the antithesis of my ideal unplanned existence - travelling, writing, not knowing what was going to happen next year or next month or even next week.”

5. Through Siberia by Accident (2006) Due to a painful leg injury, Dervla had to rethink her planned trip to Ussuriland, a Russian outpost free of anything remotely touristic, to explore the vast territories of Siberia instead. There she found humbling hospitality and generosity from local hosts during a journey of self-discovery and contradiction - human warmth and kindness against a bleak, unforgiving backdrop.

6. A Month by the Sea: Encounters in Gaza (2013) Over the summer of 2011, in her 80th year, Dervla spent a month in the Gaza Strip in Palestine. Described by Irish novelist Colm Tóibín as a “a wake-up call to the world”, Dervla’s determination to understand how Arab Palestinians and Israeli Jews might find resolution gives voice to those rarely heard in the region and offers a unique insight into a place shaped by isolation.

[hex-obsession]

Silver Lining- One

word count- 2,066

content warning- language, mild violence

____________________________________________

You knew your day would be the same; week after week, month after month. But, sometimes, very rarely, something exciting (and unfortunate) would happen. New survivors would be drawn into the entity's realm, and you would have one more friend to share this dismal future with. Unbeknownst to you, today was one of those days.

Waking up was exhausting, busy night and all. The entity called upon (or, forcefully dragged) you much more than normal last night. There was a pleasant breeze drifting through the windows of your shack. The kind that consumed you as a child, gluing you to the earth as your soul itself smiled and you, briefly, felt true peace. A feeling you missed terribly and held close to your heart. A feeling that captivated your subconscious presently.

Getting anything done was a struggle. The amount of down time you had was always inconsistent. Luckily for you, your extended time here allowed for you to organize your belongings and you required very little time to be prepared. Rolling out of bed, you already had today’s plan in mind. You let out a content yet louder than intended groan as you stretched your legs toward a chest in the corner. You flicked the unlocked clasp open with a fluid motion, allowing you to lift the heavy lid, exposing your rather large collection of items. Given your justified attitude from being sleep deprived, you grabbed a mediocre toolbox, meticulously stuffing wire and a hacksaw inside.

“Today is not the day,” you mumbled to yourself, annoyed yet smirking.

The sun hadn’t risen completely yet, so you threw on a light sweater and headed out the door. In an attempt to feel a tad less disheveled, you bowed your head forward so far you almost thought you might tip over, shook your head vigorously, and with what probably looked like a majestic swoosh of y/c hair, flung it all back behind you. It was then that you caught sight of them. Two people who you’d never seen before sitting at the fire. A man, young, blonde, mid-twenties if you had to guess from a distance, and a woman, also young, brunette, and, would it be too hasty to say attractive? Maybe it was the outfit. Instinctually, you jogged over to them to welcome them and offer as much emotional support you could offer someone in their situation. As you got closer, you determined your suspicion was correct. The young woman was indeed very attractive, catching you off guard for just a fraction of a second, sending a twang through that jealous bone in your body. She was busy talking to Kate, who was sitting close beside her. Her body language signaled that she, although inevitably being unsettled, was taking things well. You wondered what could have possibly conditioned her for something like this. The thought left your head as quickly as it entered and you shifted your gaze left to the man sitting next to her. Your eyes met; he was already looking at you. From afar you didn’t realize how incredibly good looking he was. Couldn’t see much past the hair anyway. His eyes… multiple shades of blue, piercing yet comforting, relaxing yet stimulating. Your mind stumbled, or was that physical? Hoping you showed no signs of being taken back, you walk into the group to introduce yourself.

“Hi, I’m y/n,” you say warmly, holding your hand out to him.

His hand met yours. “Leon,” he responded. “Kennedy.” His hands were so soft, aside from his calloused fingertips. It sent shivers down your spine. Or was that the morning air?

A few veteran survivors were already around them, so you didn’t want to prod. Who knows how long they had been talking, or how many times they’d repeated themselves.

“If you ever need anything…” you trailed off. Why were you suddenly so inarticulate?

“Thanks. Same to you.”

You nodded your head appreciatively and turned back to the new girl.

“Y/n, this is Jill,” Kate announced through the chatter.

“Hello,” her voice was soft, yet strong. It was clear she was sure of herself regardless of the abrupt change in her life.

“Like I told him; I speak for everyone when I say if either of you ever need anything we’re all here for you.”

She shut her eyes for a moment before giving you a forced smile.

“Thank you, y/n. I greatly appreciate that.”

Zarina nudged your arm, directing your attention behind you. The fog was rolling in.

“I hope the debriefing was finished,” you said, slightly worried your new comrades might be unprepared for what came next.

“We got the gist of it,” Leon shot Jill a comforting glance.

“Then good luck everyone.”

Autohaven. Disliked by many, but you didn’t mind it. Maybe it was the frequency of which you were here, but maybe you even liked it a little. Quickly assessing your surroundings, you see a familiar face. Nea sprints past you, flashlight in hand, ready to start a ruckus.

“We’d be so lost without her,” you admit to yourself.

The trial seems to be going normally. Two gens have been completed and miraculously no one had been hooked yet. You, Nea, and Adam had seen each other in passing, but knew you worked best alone. Spread out to get more done. You were repairing a generator in one of the corners of the map, near an exit gate. Stealth was your forte. Like a rabbit in an open field, you checked your surroundings constantly. In the distance, near the gas station, you caught glimpse of Adam looping the Plague. Despite your empathy, you were thankful she hadn’t seen you yet. Rushed footsteps off to your right made you jump, almost missing a skill check. It was him.

“Hey!” you called to him in a hushed yell. He looked up from his totem and replied with a quick half smile. He remained crouched down and quickly shuffled over to you. Silently the two of you worked together. You barely heard Adam yell out in disgust over the sound of the machinery clunking and whirring, almost fully to life at this point. Without forethought, you involuntarily looked over to Leon. His face, illuminated by the sparks of the gen. Damn. Did your heart just flutter? Why were you suddenly thinking about how beautiful this man’s eyelashes were when death was on the line?

An abrupt, booming ding brought you back to the present as your gen was completed. You nearly yelled to be sure he could hear you over the generator. “You stay here to power the exit gate when the last gen pops. I’ll go back to help Adam.” He nodded his head reluctantly as you ran toward the center of the map. Following your heartbeat, you came up on them near a pile of cars. Adam was visibly amused, but also visibly exhausted. Drenched in sweat and panting, puking on anything close to him. Like clockwork, Nea completed the last gen opposite of you. Whistling to Adam, you gained his attention just long enough to motion toward the door, which was now buzzing loudly. Adam’s face went serious as he spun around the killer and darted toward the exit. She swung at him but missed, thankfully. Following close behind, you were near the gate now, thirty feet at most. Leon was out of sight. That wasn’t good. Adam slid over a pallet in one of the constructions near the gate, home free. The Plague had to double back and go around to follow him. Hand on the switch, he looked back at you with a grin, pleased at how well the match had gone. Before you could smile back, the Plague was behind him, arm reared back ready to swing. The exit gate opened and her censer cracked down onto his back, sending him to the ground with a sharp wail.

“Oh God,” you whisper. “No one escapes death.”

You scurry behind the closest rock to assess your situation. Nea had surely opened the other gate across the map by now, and who knew where Leon was. If you could find the totem you could make this considerably more promising.

As the killer carried Adam to a hook, you ran off in the opposite direction in search of someone else or a totem, or both. Nea was sprinting toward you, emitting pure confidence as usual despite Adam’s screams behind you.

“I think I know where the totem is. There was one out in the open near the gate you opened,” she said, proud of herself for not feeling the slightest bit challenged.

“Leon cleansed that before the gens were finished,” you sighed. “I got two others earlier, what about you?”

“I got one, and I think Adam was too busy to get any. There should only be one left. We’ve got to find it.”

You turned toward the back corner of map but before your foot touched the ground, a monstrous crack of thunder rang through the sky. You look to Nea overwhelmed with relief.

“Leon!”

The two of you bolted toward Adam, just in time to see Leon sneaking around the corner beside him. Out of the corner of your eye you spotted a window. Without warning you veer away from Nea and vault the window. Exactly as planned, the Plague came toward you. You peaked around a wall to make sure she caught sight of you, but instead she was walking back toward the hook.

“Fuck.”

Racing toward the hook, Nea was far ahead of you and had borrowed time to give. She cries out in agony but once around the corner, you see her and Adam running toward the gate. The Plague lashes out at him again. This time not knocking him down, but giving him a second injury, splattering blood on the ground around him.

Not far behind them, “Go!” you demand.

Cutting her losses, the killer turns toward you, inhaling deeply. You dip behind the hook Adam was on to sabotage it while also avoiding her repulsive expulsion. Rounding the corner, her censer slashes against your shoulders, cutting you deeply. You scramble, kicking up dirt behind you. Just as fear begins to envelop you, Leon reaches around the corner, grabbing your hand, violently jerking you backward. You’re too fixated on escaping to say anything to each other. A warm, putrid liquid splashes against the two of you causing you to wretch uncontrollably. She’s right behind you, gate directly in front of you. Leon tugs your arm hard enough to get you in front of him and with more force than needed, pushes you forward into the gate. Now you’re the one pulling him. The Plague lands one final swing on Leon, a protection hit, and you both run like hell through the exit.

“Nice job, rookie,” you declare, hoping the appreciation in your voice was still detectable through your nonchalant attitude.

“Yeah yeah,” he lets out a relieved chuckle.  

You suddenly realized you were still holding hands and a wave of heat washed over your face. You gave it a gentle squeeze and shake to signify gratitude and let it go, slowly. You desperately needed to lie down and address your thoughts after that one. Which brought you to your next point; Leon and Jill had been placed next to your shack. During the commotion this morning you failed to notice. Not that you minded, but knowing he would be nearby made you feel lightheaded.  

“Oh yeah, this is just what I needed,” you think. “Let’s add more drama to the already chaotic hellish world we’ve been cursed to. Just as a joke, it would be funny. Sure. Why not.”

You let yourself fall backward onto your bed, eyes pinned to the ceiling, not moving a muscle. You could tell yourself whatever you wanted, but deep down, you knew damn well this was the most exciting thing that’s happened to you since you were brought here and you reveled in it. Your entire body was alive with infatuation for this near stranger. Releasing a drawn-out sigh of acceptance, you shift your focus to the dilemma at hand. Either you tell him, probably make a fool of yourself and make things permanently awkward, or you keep it to yourself. There’s no way in hell someone like him would go for someone like you so, although there was hope buried deep inside you, you didn’t delve deep into any day dreams where you got what you wanted.  

Leon.  

____________________________________________

Silver Lining masterlist

[takenbyheartstrings]

changing of the seasons | tom holland.

[ tom x fem!reader au || warnings. fluff, swearing, angst, implications of sex, the reader drinking || wc. 5.2k (this is a bit of a long one LMAO)  ] a/n. it’s currently 4:52 in the morning, so my apologies if this is so sloppy, but I’m writing it and heading straight to bed, praying there’s no major grammatical errors. Now, ik that uni doesn’t have frats or whatever, but it’s an au so idrc about accuracy ANYWAY, goodnight to all <3

W I N T E R

YOUR BREATH HITCHED AGAINST THE COLD AIR OF THE NIGHT, this cold of a day in London was not unusual, not welcomed, nor un-welcomed. You sort of loved the cold days, even if it rained so much that it was almost impossible to leave the house. It brings a sense of home to you and your roommate.

The same roommate who tried to join one of those sororities. But then chickened out last minute ‘Those girls are so fucking intimidating... I dunno how anyone does it!’ You laugh as you remember the day she came back to the dorm in shambles, only slightly tipsy. She really was the party type - but you had obligated to stay back at the dorm and watch Netflix or something, she found you coddled watching and reading. It wasn’t an unusual state for you at all, and you partied sometimes, Katie had mocked you previously, for acting as if you’re ‘Not like other girls.’ But you had to disagree, she was being ridiculous.

But that’s not where the story starts, ironically; the story starts at one of those terrible parties. Katie had dressed you in a nice pair of high waisted jeans and a tank top. You felt like you were wearing a little too less, which wasn’t a bad thing at all. You were just a little shy, so you slipped a jacket on top. In your defence: ‘Kate! It’s freezing outside!’

You were at a party where everyone knew you as the smartest kid in possibly the grade - you weren’t bullied or anything, but you weren’t popular either. Everyone knew you, and you knew them. You weren’t friends with them, but you weren’t not friends with them - you were the middle ground; the mediocre.

But in the whole time you were at this party, you managed to see the one person you didn’t like at all, and who didn’t like you.

Tom Holland was a stuck-up brat who didn’t know any better than to slack off in class, drink until so drunk he could barely speak properly, make comments about people that were anything but nice, and to make things even better, cheated on his girlfriend, and still, no matter how much he annoyed you, how much he despised you, how much the two of you tried to avoid each other... the two of you always managed to get in each other’s way.

You didn’t even knew how Tom Holland managed to slither his way into your life. But he did, and although the two of you disliked each other (although, it’s not a strong enough word), he always needed. your. help.

You saw it coming when he walked up to you at that stupid party, “What do you want, Thomas?” You questioned, your arms crossed over your jacket like they had been the whole night, a red solo cup sat in your hand.

“I need your help, passing another class.” He speaks and you can’t help but roll your eyes, you had a tutoring service, you knew what you were getting yourself into - but you didn’t think this one particular person would keep coming back for every test. There had to be something he was good at! How would he have gotten into uni if he weren’t?

You chuckled, “Is there seriously nothing you can do on your own?” You question him airing your thoughts.

You’re sat in a corner, and Tom is a charmer, so naturally, his hand leans onto the wall, keeping you in your place, he’s wearing a pair of jeans and a shirt that suggests he’ll be sleeping in it tonight after he’s blacked out on his own bed, “Look, princess,” He almost spits, “Help me out, it’s the least you can do for me, after all, you’re the one making the money.”

and although, ALTHOUGH, you hate Thomas Stanley Holland with almost every single bone in your body...

you can’t help but feel a flutter in your stomach when he calls you princess.

You look him in the eye, almost slightly flustered, biting your lip, “Fine, I’ll teach you, just come by my dorm tomorrow at four and we can get started.”

“I have practi-” You cut Tom’s words off with the knife of your tongue.

“I don’t care what you have, if you won’t pass, there won’t be any practice at all. So I’d keep your mouth shut.” Tom takes note of your poisonous tone, nodding before he leaves you be in the exact same spot he found you in.

That night you went home with Katie, she was sloshed and drunk and could throw up all over you at any moment, but you were so tired. You wanted to hold her hair back, you so truely did, but you tied it up and let her be, despite her saying it was okay and to get some rest - you really did feel bad, and she should’ve taken her own advice.

The next day you didn’t have any classes, so you were determined to cram as much alone time in before Kate or Tom came to the dorm room. So you pretty much just sat on your ass all day, typing away at your computer and laughing at stupid YouTube videos in a pair of bike shorts and a baggy white t-shirt. You could see the black bralette you were wearing underneath it, but you weren’t expecting anyone so you depending on your memory to know when to change your clothes. But you didn’t think fast enough as there was a knock on your door. You walked over, expecting it to be Kate coming back from class or from getting Coffee with her girlfriend, but there’s almost so much luck for the world, and apparently, you didn’t get any at all.

“Thomas!” You shriek as you open the door wide, the dorm room was not far from a mess, but messy enough to say, “Sorry about the mess,” You invite him into the dorm room, hastily putting the blankets and pillows back into their places.

Tom walks into the familiar room, one he had been in many times and not for harmless fun. But to get his grades up. But there was a lot of things that you didn’t know about Tom Holland, a frat boy who’s life depends on the money he just so happens to have passed down to him. But Tom wasn’t the disgusting piece of crap you thought him out to be at all. The cheating? It was a rumour made by his piece of shit girlfriend, who just needed an excuse to dump him to get with her side-piece. But he was paraded for it by his friends, so he went a long with it - knowing that what was happening was so disgustingly gross and out of line. Tom to you was a bad guy, but in reality. He would be one of the nicest people you could ever know. Partially because of you.

To make it even clearer, Tom WAS that kind of guy, he’d been sleeping with everyone in sight before he got his girlfriend, to try and prove to you that he could hold a relationship, to prove to you that he was a good guy. He stopped the comments, convinced his friends to stop the comments as well. He was trying to be better because of you.

Tom tried not to look at how good you looked in your shorts and t-shirt, but his eyes couldn’t help following every inch of your body. He was trying his best, he really was. But he had to force his eyes away.

Finally after tiding up the place, slightly, you stood up properly and spoke, “Shall we get started?”

“Yes, we should.” Tom’s voice rang as you broke him out of whatever trance he was in before. He knew full well that he didn’t like you, but he didn’t know if that was him trying to convince himself, or if it was actually true - anymore at least.

You were sat down with Tom at the desk you had brought from IKEA not too long ago, you had a monitor and PC that sat in front of the two of you as you both worked on Tom’s History assignment. There was a sudden stop between the work-flow when you saw that Tom hadn’t been paying attention.

You looked at him as he looked at you, “Tom, pay fucking attention or there’s no way you’re going to pass and as much as I dislike you, I want you to do good.”

Guess being a nice person kills, huh? You can’t truely hate Tom, because there’s some mindset of yours unable to stop caring about Tom and how he does in school, because you feel bad for him.

Tom rolls his eyes, “Fine... what were you saying?” He tries to pay attention to you but you look way too good to be able to focus, so his eyes just stay on you and your voice drowns out.

You look at Tom who’s still looking at you rather than doing the work, “Tom,” Your voice shakes him out, as you shake him, your hand on his shoulder.

You yourself, didn’t realise how close the two of you were, but as your breath was on Tom’s face, and Tom’s breath was on yours. His hand moved up your thigh - and you let it. He moved closer and closer, his lips finally meeting yours as you kissed him back, the two of you stood up as you’re still kissing the air getting hotter and hotter.

Tom lifts your shirt over your head before pulling away for a minute, “Are you sure you wants this?” He questions you.

“Tom, if you keep talking, I’m going to change my mind.” You say before pressing your lips to his once more.

He unclips your bralette, his warm lips on yours, the winter’s air was nothing compared to what was happening in dorm 4B at this moment, his kisses moving down your neck to your chest, and your soft moans echo in your bedroom, nothing was stopping the two of you.

⏤

YOU AND TOM lay there, completely breathless.

‘What the fuck just happened?’ You asked yourself in shambles before standing up and getting yourself dressed.

“You need to leave,” You tell Tom as he sits up.

He chuckles, “Why?” He smiles coyly.

You roll your eyes at Tom, slipping your white shirt back over your head. You sigh heavily as you look back at him once more, “Tom, I can’t even fathom what happened here, right now.”

“We had sex, Y/N, there’s not much to unpack here.” He speaks softly, “Look, I get that you hate me or whatever,” He stands as he puts his sweatpants and jersey back on, “But I’ve never hated you.”

He grabs his shoes and slides them back on, before grabbing his backpack and leaving you to your own thoughts. That was the first time you’d ever heard him say something like that. That he never hated you. You had just assumed he did because of the way he acted towards you. You fell back onto your bed. 

You started to question your hatred for Tom, but you didn’t know how long it would take before your feelings would soon unpack, it was harder to do than expected. You thought it was black and white. But it’s a lot harder, way harder than you initially thought.

You heard the door open as Katie slammed the door behind her shut, checking in on you as her head popped into your room.

“Katie, I had sex with Tom Holland.” You spoke, almost afraid of the words that came out of your mouth.

S P R I N G

THE FLOWERS HAD STARTED TO BLOSSOM, you hadn’t talked to Tom since what happened in your room and you made every effort to ignore him or avoid him no matter how hard he tried.

What happened with him happened in January, it was now April. It had been four months, four months of just thinking. Debating with yourself and debating with your feelings. Tom didn’t make it easier to think about him either. He was trying to grab your attention so madly that it drove the two of you insane for each other.

Your phone didn’t stop pinging with text messages and emails and phone calls from the boy. It drove you mad. 

You store at your phone for longer than a minute while drinks were happening for a little girls night that Katie had planned, “Stop staring at your phone, Y/N,” Katie’s girlfriend spoke.

“Sorry,” You apologised softly, as Ciera laughed.

“Don’t apologise,” She sighed, “What’s happening for you right now is complicated, you had hate sex and you’re scared of commitment to the person you had hate sex with when he’s more than ready to commit to something you’re not.”

You whacked Ciera over their arm, “OW!” She shrieks.

“Sorry Ciera, but I’m not afraid of commitment.” You tell them, “I’m just afraid of committing to Tom himself,”

Katie walks into the kitchen, three glasses in her hand, “He’s a good person, y’know,” Katie sits down the glasses in front of you and Ciera.

“It’s true,” Ciera speaks, “He’s not as bad as you say he is,”

You end up rolling your eyes at both of their words, “I know, but I’ve just always seen him in the worst light there is, rude to teachers, to people, at parties he gets blackout drunk - always coming to me when he needs help, tries to form a friendship, forgets all about it the next day and comes running back to me again, so sorry if I’m a little on the fence.” You tell your best friends.

Ciera rubs your arm, looking at Katie, “We’re gonna leave you to cool off and think alright, we’ll be at the bar about five minutes away, we’ll see you soon.” Ciera and Katie sigh leaving you to your thoughts.

You walk over to the couch and turn on the TV, sitting down you look at the glass of drink in your hand, placing it down on the coffee table. Your dorms windows were open so you just looked at the night sky through them, it wasn’t cold nor hot. A little warm - you wished you could forget about all of the shit that was happening at the moment. But Tom wouldn’t leave you alone, he texted you asking you how you were doing, trying to grab your attention. You had to admit it, it was kind of sweet of him to text you once a day and ask. To call you to try to ask. He left a voicemail everyday too, and they were filled with nice messages for you to listen to. Just him talking about his day.

You thought of what you had said earlier, being scared to commit to Tom. You sighed as your head turned back to the TV, you felt something in you that you hadn’t felt before. A sense of urgency. You slipped on a pair of shoes and made your way to Tom’s Frat house.

It wasn’t late, so you just banged on the door. Out came Harrison Osterfield, Tom Hollands best friend - not to mention the fact that you also helped him pass a couple of his classes, he was Tom’s best friend and a good guy. He made an effort to say ‘Hey Y/N!’ in the Quad or if he sees you on your way to class.

Why couldn’t you like Harrison? you asked yourself as he met your eyes.

“Hey Haz,” You smile.

Haz chuckled, “Hello, Y/N, what can I do for you today?” 

“Do you by any chance know where Tom is?” You queried, “It’s kinda important? I dunno, but I have to talk to him.”

“Well, he’s upstairs in his room, third room on the right.” He said opening the large door a little more to let you inside.

You made your way into the large mansion (well, a really big house, but extra points for the spiral staircase in the middle of the house), the house looked different with nobody in it. There was lots of room to move around and you didn’t have to sit in one corner of the room. The floor was a pearled white marble, something you hadn’t actually seen before. You made your way up the large staircase and over to Tom’s room.

Before entering, you knocked on the door, when you walked in you saw something you didn’t want to see at all, “WHAT THE FUCK, TOM?” You almost screamed, as he looked up at you, fear in his eyes - he was obviously in bed with some blonde bitch.

“Y/N WAIT,” he hurries to put his pants on before running after you.

“NO TOM, I’M NOT WAITING FOR YOU, I CAME HERE TO BE MORE LIKE YOU’VE WANTED FOR THE PAST THREE MONTHS AND YOU’RE IN BED WITH SOMEONE ELSE, I WAS READY TO FACE MY FEARS AND JUMP INTO THE DEEP END.” You felt like you were on the verge of tears. He had done all this waiting for you, so you felt like you owe him some time, time to talk to explain himself, but it didn’t feel worth it.

Tom’s face goes red, “I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU, Y/N, SO DESPERATELY AND THE ONE TIME I ASK YOU TO WAIT YOU SAY NO-”

“YOU WERE IN BED WITH SOMEONE ELSE, THOMAS,” You groan frustrated, calming yourself down, “I was afraid to commit to you, Tom. I always saw you as some shitty person, but after seeing you wait for me taking your time. I’m still not ready but I thought, ‘Hey! that’s the beauty of something scary, you never know!’” you quote your thoughts, “BUT I GUESS I WAS RIGHT.”

You made your way out the door as Tom grabbed your arm, “Y/N,” His eyes looked into yours, they were clearly sorry - but you couldn’t buy it anymore, “I’m sorry.”

You knew he was, you could hear it in the voice crack, the tears that were now running down his face. He sniffled as he held your arm, knowing that he fucked up. Although you wanted to wait, you knew you should’ve made a move sooner. You had so much time and even going into the frat house today, you didn’t even know but you knew you’d never be ready for something like this without going into it head on.

Tom fucked up by not waiting when he told you was.

Although the two of you weren’t dating, it still hurt like a knife to the chest.

“Fucking, bullshit Tom.” You said it. Immediately regretting it when it came out of your mouth.

You stormed out of the house, Tom’s hot hand leaving your skin.

S U M M E R

YOU, KATIE AND CIERA are on the beach, you’d actually flown to another country to do so, Greece was lovely this time of year.

You store into the clear blue waters as Katie and Ciera swam their lives away staying next to each other. To say the least, you were quite jealous of them. Not just because any chance at a relationship with Tom had flown out the window. You were shattered at the thought. The girls thought a nice getaway would do you good, better than Tom could ever. But they were wrong.

Now that you and Tom weren’t going to be together, you wanted him more than you could’ve wanted him before. You stood up, your toes in the sand as you called out to your friends.

“Guys! I’m gonna go for a little walk around, I’ll catch you guys back here in a little bit,” They both nodded, not giving a second thought before you walked away. This was more of an excuse to get away together and have you be the third wheel.

You walked through the streets looking around at boutiques and stores that line the streets. You walked into a few and ran your hand over the racks. You didn’t buy anything. But the thought was nice, as you walked however, you saw a familiar face standing in an Ice-Cream shop.

“Haz?” You asked as he turned to you with a smile.

He chuckled, wrapping his arms around you, “Hey, Y/N!”

After you and Tom had the argument, you had been avoiding Tom at all costs, you hadn’t however been ignoring the other guys, and the other guys told Tom how you were doing. You would smile and talked to his friends and the second he should show up, you leave Tom in the dust and in the dark.

“So who are you here with?” You questioned Haz.

His smile falters but he catches it, “Just the boys, you know, Tuwaine, Harrison...” he trails off for a moment, “Tom.”

You sigh, “Well, I hope you guys are having a good time, I better get going, Katie and Ciera are waiting at the Hotel for me.”

Harrison groans playfully, “How about you text your friends and come hang out with us?” He smiles, charming.

“What about Tom?” You questioned.

Harrison sighs looking at you softly, “You and Tom need to talk, wether it’s under the influence, or wether it’s sober. You and him need to talk - he’s completely crushed. He has been for four months, you guys haven’t talked in four months, even before that you barely talked.”

“Look, Haz, Tom and I slept together and he pined for me and then I got him in bed with some blonde bitch and the rest is now.” You glared at Haz for even trying, but he was right - the two of you needed to talk. It wasn’t debatable anymore, you let out a heavy sigh, “But, I’ll go, you’re right.”

“Okay,” Harrison smiles, “If you want Ciera and Katie to come, they can.”

“Trust me, they’re probably very busy.” You laugh and wink as he leads you back to where the boys were partying for the night. It came quicker than it left, one minute you were on the beach, the next it was dark and you were at a bon fire, where there were only five partygoers, you and four boys.

“HARRY!!!” you hear three voices chime loudly, as you walk out Haz those cheers stop.

“H-Hey, Y/N,” Tom speaks nervously.

“Hey Tom.”

A few moments later, is what it feels like, after you’ve drunk a few drinks, you’re laughing with Tom, smiling with Tom, getting feely with. Tom. You were telling so many stories about your life during uni, during high-school and embarrassing ones at that. They traded theirs and you traded yours. It was turning out to be a fun time, and then Haz, Harrison and Tuwaine all turned in. You watched as the fire burnt in front of you and Tom, the yellow and orange flame.

You weren’t totally sloshed and neither was Tom, maybe just a little tipsy, a little more relaxed, “Tom, I’m sorry,” You spoke, “What happened between us all those nights ago - It just really hurt, Tom.”

“I can’t keep telling you how sorry I am, I fucked up,” He sighs.

You sigh, “We both fucked up, Tom. I should’ve told you how I was feeling and I shouldn’t have made you wait for me.”

“And I shouldn’t have fucked someone else,”

“You had every right to-”

“NO I DIDN’T.” He raises his voice, “I shouldn’t have slept with someone else, because I am so in love with you.”

You couldn’t believe what he had told you, “Tom I-”

“You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to, I just- I needed you to know,” He stands, walking away before you can say anything else.

A U T U M N

ALTHOUGH YOU KNEW HOW TOM FELT ABOUT YOU, you still decided to hangout with him, be friends. Figure out what you wanted to do about it. Do about your feelings for him. You felt like you were leading him on but every time you asked him about it, he assured you differently. He was okay with being friends, but you’ll always know he’ll want more.

You and Tom walked through campus, the leaves that blossomed now orange and yellow, falling from the sky - crunching under your feet, a warm cup of hot chocolate in your hands. You had a warm navy winter coat over your figure. Tom linked his arm with yours.

“I’ve got class,” He feels his phone vibrate in his pocket with a reminder telling him about his class.

You smile pulling him closer, “I’ll see you later then,” He hugs you and you tighten it, not wanting to let go of him, but reluctantly doing so. You watch as he walks away, Katie walking up behind you with her own cup of Coffee.

“Where’s he going?” Katie asks you and you look over at her.

“Class.” The word comes out of your mouth, almost as if you’re sad to watch him walk away. That’s because you were sad to watch him walk away.

Katie chuckles, “Let’s get back to the dorm, Ciera bought donuts!” She jumps, excited to go back.

“What kind?” You question your best friend.

She freezes, “Well she’s my girlfriend so,”

“That means that she was clearly thinking of you, so I take it they bought-”

“Jam!” Katie smiles, as the two of you walk, she skips.

This is what you wanted with Tom. You wanted him to buy you donuts and for you to get excited when he doesn’t even ask what type you want - you wanted him to just surprise you with the smallest things. Remember the smallest details. But you had missed it all, every morning, Tom brought you a coffee as the two of you headed to the only class the two of you had together, that he hadn’t asked you for your order at all, or your birthday earlier that month, he brought you your favourite soft drink, even though he hadn’t asked you what it was. Not to mention he wrapped your gift in your favourite colour. But you were so blindsided to all of that. You weren’t seeing it at all.

You got back to your dorm and left Katie and Ciera to watch TV on the couch when you headed into your room. You sat on your bed, as you looked at the shelf that sat across from it, Tom’s present sat perfectly on it. It wasn’t much, it was just a Viynl of your favourite TV Character, he had told you he wanted to get you something else - but they didn’t have it in stock anywhere. To which you assured him it was okay. You sighed at you just looked at it; store at it. Almost a minute had passed - what seemed like the longest minute of your life. So many thoughts had travelled through your head. So many questions.

All of them unanswered.

All, except for one. This question had been everything since the night you and Tom slept together for the first and only time, but looking at the present. Thinking about the late night studies or when the two of you recently developed the stupid habit of meeting in the library when the two of you couldn’t sleep, or just going on walks around the campus - laughing with each other. You were so afraid. But you were stupid for being so afriad. Tom had been a better friend than anyone could have ever been (except for Katie and Ciera of course), you and Tom had a connection that was irreplaceable. Somewhat unbreakable. It’s hard to think that you hated him. hard to think that you found him unbearable. But it was also hard to think that you could avoid him. Ignore him. Stop being friends with him.

But you just ended up together in the end anyway.

So what was the point? What was the point running from something that was always going to catch upto you anyway?

⏤

NIGHT FELL ON THE CAMPUS, you weren’t exactly sure what you were doing but it felt like the night you caught Tom in bed with that girl all over again. But this time you knew you wouldn’t. Because Tom assured you he wouldn’t. Not till you told him no. So you took his absolute word for it.

You looked at the large doors of the Frat House that sat in front of you, knocking violently, waiting for someone to open the door - It was Haz, and although you didn’t say anything. He knew what you were going to do. So he shut the door, and you took a step back composing yourself, readying yourself for what you were about to do and you could never be truely ready, but you had to trust your gut on this one.

You weren’t on the doorstep anymore, you were on the ground, in front of the stairs that lead to the House as Tom walked outside. You weren’t wearing anything special. You were wearing your bike shorts and a white shirt. You were wearing white runners and ankle-high socks. Your hair the same as it always was. You looked at the boy and his curls with a smile.

He knew what was coming - but he let you speak, “Tom, for a long time. I was scared. So fucking scared that I pushed you away. If I’m going to be completely one-hundred percent honest with you, I’ve had feelings for you from the start. But I let my thoughts get the better of me. I let myself think you were some douchebag, when in reality - you’re the exact opposite. You’re the kindest, sweetest, most caring person in the world. God, this is so cliché.” You chuckles as he laughs along with you, however, you start to tear up a little, overcome with emotions, “I always thought I was incapable of finding someone to love, someone who would love me the same way that Ciera and Katie love each other or the same way that Patrick Verona and Julia Stiles love each other.”

Tom smiles at the last reference - you had forced him to watch 10 Things I Hate About You on one of those lonely nights the two of you spent unable to sleep and you told him you cried so much at the movie - he assured you he wouldn’t. But he failed.

“Look Tom, what I’m trying to say is that-” You stop yourself for a moment. It takes everything in your body to finally spit it out. Say what you’ve been wanting to say and when you do. It feels so good.

“I... Love.. You.” You said it.

Tom bolts over to you, pressing his lips to yours it’s more desperate and hungry something that reminded you of the first night the two of you kissed. But it was just as magical, just like every single kiss to come, just like every single peck on the cheek. Every single laugh. Every single smile, hug, handhold. Every single night where the two of you will just lay next to each other. The movie nights, the dates.

All of it.

Because every single time it does. Every single time any of those happens.

You somehow manage to fall in love with him all over again.

[newtonsheffield]

I’m not sure if this has been done… or if you have it planned but after the Princess Bride and the crown… I can’t stop thinking about Royals and Anthony asking her to “leave the crown on” for a spicy Sunday please

eh eh eh eh eh

I haven't done this, it's not planned for Royals, Let's do it I suppose.

Really, Anthony knew that it was a little undignified to be this aroused at a Royal function. But, he felt, he could be a little forgiven, seeing that this royal function was being held in honour of his very hot girlfriend, who had just become the fucking queen. His very hot girlfriend who he had barely seen all day.

They'd woken up together in her bed just like they had most mornings since the start of their relationship and before he could do much more than kiss her soundly a knock had rung through the room, Sophie Beckett bustling in with a team of stylists, shooing him out, Kate smiling a little apologetically at him, calling out I love you, honey! as the door shut behind him.

And of course he'd burned with pride as he'd stood behind her, his official sash cutting uncomfortably across him, his cheeks going a little pink when a journalist asked him if part of him wishes he were being coronated today.

"I plan to serve my queen and country to the very best of my ability." he'd replied with a congenial smile.

And Kate's eyes had burned into his for a very long moment until the journalist had been ushered away by Sophie.

They'd sat through photographs and interviews, no time to chat in between, and now they were in the midst of a ball. And Anthony was just about at his wits end. The Red of her dress looked so good against her skin, his hands had felt like the fabric was burning him when they danced their first dance together, but what truly captured his attention was the crown.

Of course, he'd seen Kate in it before. He had a miniature version of it tattooed across his heart, right under where her crest sat on his pocket square. But today it felt different, permanent. And Anthony desperately wanted to see the most powerful woman in the country fall apart just for him, to feel her writhe against him, strong and confident. And God help him, he couldn't wait anymore.

"Come upstairs with me." Anthony said firmly in her ear, as he swept past her following gripping her wrist firmly and tugging her with him from the room. And for once, Kate didn't protest. Merely let herself be pulled along, a sure sign that she wanted this as much as he did.

"Lord Bridgerton, rather presumptuous of you. To occupy so much of your queen's time." She quipped as they disappeared into the foyer.

Anthon growled, "She's been occupying my time all day. Focusing on everyone else, time to focus on her." His lips claimed hers roughly as they started to ascend the staircase to the family rooms, away from the public areas. Her hands already tugging at the buttons of his shirt as they stumbled upwards, leaving it hanging open under his jacket.

Anthony walked her backwards as they entered to corridor, pushing her roughly against the door to her suite, tugging her legs to wrap around his waist the slow push and pull that always existed between them becoming a little frantic as his hand reached between her thighs.

"Oh Fuck Anthony." She gasped against him, "Not out here."

"Here." He growled grinding his hips in time with his hand adding pressure as her gasps became needier her hands tugging him closer as she climbed higher driven a little wild by him and he ached to see it. His heart pounding in his chest, biting back the urge to growl possessively as she shuddered against him, her head falling back against the door as she came undone. And still it wasn't enough.

Anthony tugged at her legs to unwrap from his waist, steadying her before he knelt before her, then tugging them over his shoulders. Kate whined.

"Anthony?"

"I meant what I said, Kate." His voice barely sounded like his own as he nipped at the skin of her thighs, delighting in the way she shivered against him. "I plan to serve my Queen." Kate barely had time to let out a startled oh Fuck before Anthony bowed is head towards her, surging forward, moving his tongue relentlessly over her. His pride growing as her hands twisted in his hair pulling him impossibly closer as an endless stream of his name fell from her lips Anthony Anthony Anthony as he groaned against her, the heat in his own stomach nearly unbearable. And then a soft scream cut through the air, wrenched from her chest as she shuddered again, her legs trembling around his ears.

Anthony gave her no time to rest, He stood abruptly his arm tightening around her waist, holding her to him as he swung the door open, depositing her on the mattress a little roughly as he fought with his own clothes, nearly desperate at this point, his entire body aching. His eyes fixed on her as she stood, shedding her dress, her hands shaking as they reached for her crown.

"Leave it on, Kate. Fuck. Please leave it on." He was practically begging, a whine in his voice and Kate looked up, her eyes wide for a moment before they darkened, set into something much harder. Anthony felt a shiver run down his spine.

"That's right. You like a woman in charge don't you?" Her voice was deep and rough, as Anthony nodded helplessly, letting her push him lightly against the mattress, straddling him seconds later. And finally, finally their hips started to grind together in a filthy, desperate rhythm that had the mattress groaning beneath them. Anthony closed his eyes at the feeling but Kate's voice pulled him out of it.

"You wanted to see, now watch, Anthony." His eyes flying open and christ what a sight she made. Her hair a little wild, her eyes filled with something dark and hot and just for him, her fingernails digging into his chest, marking him, her crown shining in the moonlight. You're so beautiful Kate, So good. Fuck Fuck Fuck. The tension reaching an impossible point and then everything shattered. Anthony felt a shout wrench from his chest as Kate's scream ripped through the air and she collapsed against him.

Anthony's lungs were burning, his shoulders heaving as he pulled Kate even more tightly against him, cradling her there.

Her own voice very breathless. "So, that was kind of intense."

"Fuck Sorry." Anthony started, Kate shaking her head in response.

"No, good intense. You can definitely drag me up here any time you want. Maybe I should get coronated more often."

Anthony chuckled. "If you'd fucked me wearing that tiara the first night we met, you'd have never left my bed again."

Kate groaned, "Gold digger." Her breathing already evening out as her eyelids fluttered to a close and Anthony thought not for the first time, that he'd truly been so fucking stupid not to realise what his true duty to this country would be.

[mldrgrl]

Broken Things 24/24

by: mldrgrl Rating: varies by chapter, rated R overall  See Chapter 1 for summary and notes**

**Additional notes to follow in a separate post

Epilogue

There’s a bookcase in their room built by Luke Doggett that Mulder has filled with books of all kinds.  He’s glad they decided to extend the bedroom out when they did the expansion because it takes up a lot of space.  He’s also glad for the extra room because it means, while Katherine paces back and forth, he can follow behind and not bump into too many things.

Katherine stops suddenly and leans onto the bookcase.  She moans deeply and Mulder holds her from behind and rubs her hips.

“You’re doing wonderfully,” Monica says.  “Just breathe through it.  Keep breathing.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to lie down?” Mulder asks.  “Just for a little while.”

Katherine hisses through her teeth and shakes her head.  Her forehead wrinkles and she moans again and clutches Mulder’s hand so tightly he’s sure it might break.  Monica comes over and puts her hand on Katherine’s belly.

“I think having a lie down might be a good idea about now,” Monica says.

Mulder puts his arm around Katherine and moves her to the bed.  He helps her to sit while Monica stacks the pillows up at the head of the bed.

“You’re the first husband I’ve had at a birth,” Monica says.

“I’m not leaving.”

“It’s fine by me if it’s fine by Katherine.”

“Don’t go,” Katherine whispers to him.  

“I won’t,” he tells her.

“I need him here,” Katherine says to Monica.

“Whatever you need, you’ll have.”  Monica nods and then she helps move Katherine up to the pillows and she tells her to shift down a bit and bring her knees up so she can check the baby’s progress.

The miraculous arrival of the twin fillies is the only birth that Mulder has attended in his life.  He skimmed through one of Katherine’s textbooks on obstetrics to have an idea of what he might be in for, but he found it to be so terrifying he had to stop reading.  It doesn’t seem possible, even though he knows it has to be.

He’s never seen his wife as scared as she’s been throughout this pregnancy.  She’s been terrified of losing the baby and he understands her fears.  Every night he’s gently caressed her growing belly and whispered to the baby how wonderful the world will be when he or she arrives.  You’ll have your own cradle made especially for you by Luke Doggett.  You’ll have your own horses to play with and one day I’ll buy you a pony with a little cart, would you like that?  You’ll have all the picture books I can find and I’ll read to you every night.  You’ll have the very best, most brave, most wonderful, most beautiful, most special, most loving, most fierce, most smartest Mama in all of the world.  But, you just stay nice and cozy where you’re at for now.  Stay until the time is right, okay?

Katherine grits her teeth and then comes up away from the pillows onto her hands and whimpers pathetically.  Mulder looks at Monica who is nodding encouragingly and rubbing Katherine’s belly.

“When it grips you again like before, you go ahead and push,” Monica says.  “Mulder, why don’t you give her a nice place to lean into to help.”

Mulder scoots closer so that Katherine can lean back into his chest.  She’s breathing hard and there’s sweat beading across her hairline.  He holds her hands and then her body grows stiff and she squeezes her eyes shut.

“Push, Katherine,” Monica says.  “That’s it.”

Katherine groans and then she falls limp in Mulder’s arms.  He feels the same helpless panic he felt when he was trying to help the horse drop her foal.  He knows he’s utterly useless and he can’t stand to be.  When Katherine’s body goes stiff again, he drops his head and starts to whisper the same things he whispered to Mary.

“You’re the only one that can do this,” he says.  “But, you’re strong and you’re brave and I believe in you.  You can do it.”

“Just a little more,” Monica says.  “You’re doing great.”

“Almost,” Mulder whispers.  “You can do it.”

Katherine lolls a little against Mulder’s chest and then she takes a deep breath and pushes again.  Her face grows red with exertion and she cries out before she deflates.  A different kind of shivery little cry fills the room.  Monica laughs and begins toweling off the squalling infant as quickly as possible and then passes the little bundle into Katherine’s arms.

“Looks like we’ve got ourselves a new little filly,” Mulder whispers.

Katherine starts crying and brings the baby up to kiss her head.  She has little wispy blonde curls that Mulder runs his hand over.  The baby looks at him and he swears one of her eyebrows lifts inquisitively just like her mother’s.

“Look at those blue eyes,” he says.

“All babies have blue eyes,” Katherine murmurs.

“This blue?  They look like the ocean.”

“Well, what are you gonna call her?” Monica asks.

“I want to name her after Mulder’s aunt,” Katherine answers.

“Oh that’s sweet.  What was your aunt’s name?”

“Hortense,” Mulder answers, and then laughs at the look on Monica’s face.  “Emeline was her name.  But, I think we agreed on Emily Eliza if it was a girl.”

Katherine nods.

“Hey…”  Mulder eases out from behind Katherine.  “What day is it?”

“I heard the clock in the hall chime at midnight a little while ago,” Monica answers.  “September 9th, 1888.  She’s a seven.  She’s going to be very contemplative.”

“It’s two years to the day from when we first met,” Mulder says.  

“Only two years?” Katherine wonders.  “It feels as though we’ve been together forever.”

“Forever is ahead of us, not behind.”  Mulder smiles as the baby yawns and reaches out to touch her tiny hand.  She curls her fingers around his with a tight grip.  

↭

The year before Emily was born they took a trip to Boston with a stop in New York City to see the electrical lightbulbs that Katherine had wanted to see.  She was definitely impressed by the invention, but will always prefer the softness of lamplight to the glow of a bulb.  Of all people, she will be the most reluctant to modernize their home while it’s Mulder that will marvel at the on and off switches that bring light and darkness and later, he will never get enough of the telephone, sometimes simply picking up the handset to chat with the switchboard operator in town just because he can.

Three years after Emily is born, William Abbott, known by all as Liam, will come along.  By then, Emily’s blonde hair will have turned dark, like her father’s, but she’ll keep her deep blue eyes.  Mulder will often turn and think he sees the ghost of his sister running towards him as she grows.  Liam inherits his mother’s red hair and freckles, but his father’s hazel eyes and mischievous sense of humor that keeps everyone on their toes.

Doctor Black makes Katherine an offer that Mulder tells her she’d be crazy to refuse.  He sponsors an apprenticeship for her in lieu of formal schooling and after five years time, she receives her medical certificate.  When he retires, Katherine takes over the practice and the lady doctor that drives her own carriage through town becomes the pride of the town.

Emily will follow in her mother’s footsteps in some ways, her interest in science and medicine apparent from a very young age, but her love of animals pulls her in a different direction.  She studies to become a veterinarian.  When her husband is taken in World War I, she will come back to the ranch with her own young daughter in tow, seeking the peace and comfort of her childhood.

Liam takes a keen interest in literature and tears through all the books on his mother’s bookshelf before he’s eight years of age.  His favorite thing to do is to listen to the stories his father tells, ones he can’t quite determine are real or exaggerated, but that are always about how brave and strong and magical his mother is.

“Kids,” Mulder will say as they sit on the porch.  “Did I ever tell you about the time your mother shot a panther?”

“There aren’t any panthers in Texas, Daddy,” Emily will tell him.

“That’s because they got wind of your mother’s aim and they all packed up and moved to Mexico.”

“Mulder, you weren’t even there.”  Katherine will roll her eyes when he starts his tales.

“I had gone to Fort Worth to pick up some horses and your mother stayed behind with Pappy Melvin…”

Liam will take these stories and write them down and turn them into Fawkes Publishing House’s number one bestselling children’s series of the 1920s called Amazing Kate, about a young girl living on a ranch in the Texas plains who can do anything and everything.  He marries a suffragette he meets while tending to family business in Boston. One of their sons will pen a biography of his E. M. Abbott, sending shockwaves through the literary community and winning a Pulitzer.

When the children are small, Katherine will often wonder about her sister’s and where they are and if they’ve married and if they have children of their own.  Mulder will offer time and time again to track them down, but ultimately, Katherine decides against it.  She has made her own family here and Monica and Susannah are close enough to her to feel like the sisters she lost.  Mary Katherine Scully was her past and she has put it behind her.  She is and will forever now be Kate Mulder.

The ranch is only ever moderately successful and the need for trained horses dies out with the expansion of the railroad and the popularity of the automobile.  It suits Mulder fine and they simply become a haven for abused and neglected animals.  

Ranch hands come and go.  Trevor discovers a talent for building furniture through Luke Doggett.  Mulder sponsors their talents by starting them up with a business in Fort Worth where they form a successful partnership and their furniture is sold world-wide.  Richard announces one day that he thinks it’s about time he moves on, and then he just disappears.  Jesse and Jimmy are offered positions as lead trainers in a traveling rodeo that they hesitate to accept, but Mulder tells them they’d be crazy not to take the opportunity to travel the country.  Melvin stays with them until he passes on and they bury him beneath the magnolia tree that in twenty years time, has reached an impressive height of forty feet and blooms pink at the start of every summer.  

The years go by and Mulder and Katherine will be alone on their porch sometimes, sitting side by side watching the sunset.  Mulder will reach out and Katherine will take his hand and he’ll give it a squeeze.

“Just think where we might have ended up if Faithful Jenny hadn’t thrown that shoe that day,” he’ll say to her, for maybe the hundredth time since they’ve been married.  “The day that changed my life forever.”

Katherine will roll her eyes at him, also for the hundredth time.  “Any number of things had already changed your life forever,” she’ll say.

“But, specifically, if Faithful Jenny hadn’t thrown that shoe…”

“And if you didn’t leave Massachusetts, and if your father hadn’t sent you to live with your aunt, and if your aunt never bought you that pony for your birthday…”

“So, you agree, A leads to B, leads to C, leads to Jenny throwing that shoe.”

“I think we’d still be right here on this porch.  That’s what I think.”

“Kate, are you admitting you believe in fate?”

“I’m admitting nothing.”

Mulder will smile and squeeze her hand as she twists her wedding ring around her finger with her thumb.

The End

[thegracelessfaceless]

Sₒᵤ𝚗𝚍 ₑffₑ𝚌𝚝𝘴 ₐ𝚗𝚍 ₒᵥₑᵣ𝚍ᵣₐᗰₐ𝚝ᵢ𝚌𝘴 ₍Tᵢ𝚌𝚌ᵢ Tₒ𝚋y ₓ Nᵤᵣ𝘴ₑ Gᵣₐ𝚌ₑ₎ ₇

Just finding this? This is part 7 of a series! Here's the link to chapter one 🪓!

Triggers: marijuana use, alcohol use

The following are notes transcribed by the Coloeado Bureau of Investigation after they recovered a box of tapes found at the last known location of Tobias "Ticci Toby" Adams and his hostage turned wife, Grace Adams.

I slid behind the wheel as Toby closed the back door. Tommy had been too tired to make it back to the car, and Toby carried him the rest of the way. By the time we'd made it back to the car, the sun was going down, so I flicked on the headlights. I had three hours to get to wherever we were meeting this Kate.

Toby requested that we go by his place so he could grab something. I waited in the parking lot with the lights off until Toby jogged back to me, his hatchets hanging from some kind of holster in his hand. He got in, messing with its straps.

Toby strapped the holster across his chest, and I noticed it was a chest rig for holding a camera, but had been modified to hold the hatchets crossed across his back for an over the shoulder draw. The older one had the name "F. ROGERS" carved into its handle in neat, block letters.

"Frank's hatchet?"

Toby shrugged "I grabbed them after I started the fire and then ran."

"So Adams was your biological dad's last name" I deduced.

"Yeah. Mom tried to get Millie to take Frank's last name, so we'd sound like a family." He gently nudged my hand, which was on my thigh as I drove, and I took it, lacing my fingers with his. "But Frank was a bastard and Millie and I didn't want to be associated with him."

"I don't blame you" I said as I squeezed his hand.

"Besides, I had a hard enough time at school without being Mr. Rogers."

I laughed then, "Well, I don't care if you're Mr. Adams or Mr. Rogers; you're Toby to me, and you're stuck with me."

Ilooked over to see Toby smile out of my peripheral vision, and then he said, "I wouldn't have it any other way."

I smiled and Toby raised my hand to kiss my knuckles before releasing it so I could drive. He knew I had some driver's anxiety and let me concentrate.

"Turn up here " Toby told me and I turned into a liquor store. Toby threw a black hoodie over his hatchets and jogged inside, coming back with a large paper brown sack. He put it in the back floorboard. Tommy was still deeply asleep.

"Head towards Denver, we have just enough time."

And he was right. I pulled up to the address Slenderman had given Toby with just two minutes to spare. I got out of the car and followed Toby up to a newly built house, which matched all the other newly, not ready for occupation, homes in a new subdivision bragging a solar power system. The empty houses raised the hair on the back of my neck as I followed Toby inside.

The house smelled of fresh dry wall, the walls had probably only just dried. The concrete floor hadn't been carpeted yet and made our footfalls sound too loud. Toby went ahead of me, checking the rooms for occupants. He returned to me, "Kate isn't here yet."

Toby posted up in the window that overlooked the car and street, watching for Kate's arrival. I pulled up a step ladder and sat on it as Toby leaned on the windowsill. The streetlights lit up his angular face, and he kept his gaze trained outside, scanning the scenery.

"What's wrong, Toby? You seem tense."

He sighed, a long exhaustion of breath, "A little. I got so sick of being on my own, but now, I'm terrified that something will happen to you. My life isn't exactly... Tame."

I stood and walked behind Toby and wrapped my arms around him, resting my head against his back, between his crossed hatchets. I heard his heartbeat speed up and then slow as he hugged mybarms to the front of him. I listened to the thick, strong sound of his heartbeat, and we both jumped when the back door opened. Toby reached for a hatchet just as someone entered the room.

She stood at about five feet, and four inches, not too different from my own stature, weighing around one hundred and ten pounds. She had shoulder length black hair and wore brown boots, black jeans, and a heavily stained hoodie, covered in black smudges and blood stains. Her right cheek and boots also bore black smudges.

"Sorry I'm late, boss" she said in a thick Loiuisiana accent. Her voice was a sultry, low baritone that would be perfect for phone sex. "My date with Elsie ran long, so I was almost late to hit my" she noticed I was standing hand in hand next to Toby, "Target... Who's this?"

"This is Reader, Kate. She's my... She's mine."

"Oh? Yours, huh?" Kate asked in teasing tones, and then came and gave Toby a loud clap on the shoulder, "Good for you, boss, I'm glad you moved on."

Toby ducked his head shyly and Kate continued.

"There's been a lot of killing going on lately, outside of what we do. Slendy's sure it's Jeff. He also said something about 'the one who waits behind the wall' and his 'infernal brother', but you didn't hear it from me." Kate was pacing in front of us, talking as if she were giving her general a briefing, and in a way, she was. "Problem is, there's more killings going on than even Jeff could pull off alone. I've caught some little freaks running around with makeup done to look like him, say they're in a gang."

"The Little Smiles" Toby said darkly.

"Wait" I said, "I hate to interrupt, but, who's Jeff? And why do you make 'the Little Smiles' sound so scary?"

"No, it's alright, Reader, you need to know." Toby took a deep breath and began, "A few years after my Master took me, I had an attack of conscious and turned myself in to the Forest Lawn PD. They immediately put me in Pinehurst and I started sessions with a doctor that seemed like he could actually help me. Until this other patient slit his throat. I ran into him and he got a surprise when he stabbed me in the thigh and I didnt even flinch. Then I heard my Master's call and had to go." He pushed his hair out of his eyes, "That guy was Jeffrey Mason, or Jeff the Killer. He killed his entire family and a few kids from school and hasn't slowed down yet. The Little Smiles are like his cul, I guess. Teenagers who idolize him."

"So you're telling me that there's a gang of teenagers running around doing a killer's dirty work?" I asked in astonishment.

Toby nodded grimly, "Kate, be careful out there. Last year, I ran into one of his followers, Nina. It... Wasn't pretty."

"You got it, boss."

Toby grumbled at her to stop calling him boss, shuffling his feet a little while I rubbed slow, soothing circles on the top of his hand with my thumb. Kate's grey blue eyes watched me. "Go home to Elsie, Kate."

Kate's eyebrows rose in surprise, "My, aren't we getting sentimental under Reader's influence."

Toby shot Kate a warning glare, "Shut up, Kate, I remember when you first found Elsie."

Kate blushed, "Bye, boss!"

And with that, she was gone, hustling out of the room before Toby had a chance to expose her softer side more.

I let out a low whistle in the silence that followed, "Is it just me, or are you more confused than before Kate's report?"

Toby laughed, "It's just you. I've got someone that we can see tomorrow who might be able to shed some light."

"Oh yeah?" I asked as Toby ushered me outside, back to the car, and opened my door. I slid in and he closed the door behind me.

"Mmhmm" he hummed as he sat in the passenger seat and closed his door. "Quick question, do you smoke weed?"

"Ah, one of those visits?" He nodded. "Yeah, I could smoke. It's been a while though."

"You'll be fine. Caleb's pretty cool."

Later that night, after we'd settled Tommy into his place on the floor, Toby and I sat at the table. A large bottle of whisky sat on the table along with two glass tumblers. A bottle of cola sat at my elbow. I'd ixed your double shot of whisky with cola, however, Toby had drank his straight, grimacing at the taste, since I knew he couldn't feel the burn.

"How are we going to figure out if the Little Smiles are behind the killings?" I asked Toby.

"I'll talk to Caleb, find the latest crime scene, stake it out and wait until we can look around. They usually leave a signature behind. They're proud of their work, and want Jeff to know who did it."

"We?"

Toby nodded and poured us both another double, "You're part of this now. Don't worry. I'll make sure you're safe. I can even teach you how to handle yourself."

I finished pouring cola into my glass and capped it before taking a big drink. "I know, I trust you. You know what you're doing."

Toby laughed dryly, like he didn't believe that, and downed his drink in one gulp, then rose to put the empty glass in the sink. I drank mine as quickly as was graceful and put my glass in the sink next to his. Toby turned out the overhead lights and I found my way to the foot of the bed where he stood, stepping over Tommy. The only light in the room was what crept around the sides of the curtain, but it was just enough.

Toby took my hand and pulled me into him, hugging me to him. He held me close as he swayed to a song in his head. We slow danced in the dark with him for a moment, following the rhythm of his body.

"You two are so cute" Tommy mumbled sleepily from behind my back.

"Go to sleep, Tommy" Toby replied curtly.

Tommy giggled, but I heard him turn over.

"We should get some sleep too" Toby said into my hair. Then he let me go and went to the side of the bed he'd slept on last night, "Tomorrow's gonna be an interesting day."

He pulled his shirt over his head, having left his hatchets in their holster, his boots, and sweater vest next to the door when he came in. Then he shoved down his pants and stepped out of them, then crawled in between the sheets.

I had found one of my spare black tank tops in the car, left behind after laundry day, and had put it on under the black long sleeve Toby had given me. The leggings were lightweight enough to sleep in, so I got in the bed next to Toby as he laid on his back, left arm out to make room for me on the twin mattress. I cuddled into the side of his body, and he guided my face to his and kissed me softly. I could taste the whisky on his breath as his lips moved against mine, his scars catching slightly, and its smokey flavor seemed right for Toby. I kissed him until he told me he had to stop and I remembered Tommy on the floor.

So I rested my head on Toby's chest after stealing one more kiss. The sound of his heartbeat lulled me to sleep better than any lullaby.

I woke with a start to smell something burning. Then the gray blanket that was covering Toby and I flew back into my face and I pulled it down to find Toby running across the room to the kitchenette. Tommy stood at the hotplate, smoke billowing around him.

I ran to Tommy and moved him out of Toby's way as Toby grabbed the smoking, flaming skillet and shoved it into the sink and turned on the water. The flames extinguished with a hiss.

"It looked so easy when you and Toby did it yesterday" Tommy explained to me.

Toby laughed then, a deep belly laugh that made him double over, "It's okay, Tommy. Just leave the cooking to us from now on."

Tommy nodded, eyes still a little wide as you checked him over for burns. He had none, luckily, and Toby's skin on his right hand was a little pink, the equivalent of a sunburn, which he couldn't feel anyway.

Toby and I realized Toby was only in his boxers and I blushed and looked away, but not before taking in his long, leanly muscled frame. He sent me a confident wink as he passed me to the dresser next to the bed, causing me to blush more.

Tommy had burned the last of the breakfast bowls, so Toby put some hot pockets in the toaster oven. He found the waffles and threw them in the trash, still in the box, much to Tommy's dismay. Tommy retrieved the box from the empty trash can and snuck them back into the freezer when Toby wasn't looking.

The toaster oven finished and I moved the food onto a plate while Tommy carried glasses of water to the table for me and him. I took a drink to wash away some of the minty freshness left in my mouth from brushing my teeth after getting dressed. Toby sat on his milk crate, his hands shaking slightly as he held his coffee.

"Are the meds starting to leave your system?" I asked, acknowledging his tremor as I pushed his bangs out of his eyes.

A slight tic ran through him, causing his head to jerk slightly to the right as he grimaced, his neck popping. "Yeah... It's okay though. Caleb should have something to help me out. He always does. But we have to go back towards Forest Lawn. He lives right outside of town."

Tommy and I ate our food while Toby savored his coffee and looked out the window, which he had opened to let the smoke out. I tried to get Toby to eat one of the hot pockets, but he only told me that he'd eat plenty later with a secret smile.

After we'd eaten, we drove back towards Forest Lawn and I noted I'd need to get gas soon. I turned down the dirt road Toby pointed out to me. I followed a dirt lane through a wooded area that spat us out into a picturesque clearing where a quaint, two story ranch house sat alongside a small greenhouse.

"I've always wanted a place like this, but in the mountains" Toby said as we all got out of the car.

"It's beautiful" I said, and it was.

A brown headed man with a reddish brown beard came out of the greenhouse's side door. He wore a red flannel shirt and blue jeans on his burly, six foot frame. He was barefoot and looked to be mine and Toby's age, maybe a few years younger. He had the same circles under his eyes as Toby, as if he didn't get enough sleep. A fat orange tomcat followed behind him, his tail swishing in a friendly manner.

"Toby! It's been a while, dude."

"Yeah" Toby said, "things got weird for a while, but I'm past it. This is Grace and Tommy."

"Ah, what's up, I'm Caleb" he bumped fists with Tommy, then offered his fist to me. I tapped my knuckles into his and then we all followed him into the house.

The living room was cozy, but decorated sparsely, abstract watercolors on paper hung on the walls. Metal played softly from speakers bookending a big screen tv, which played vintage episodes of Star Trek. A plush, brown couch and recliner sat around a coffee table, which held a jar containing marijuana, a bong, a pipe, a glass straw, a butane torch, a blue and green silicone thing with a metal cyllinder sticking out of one end, a lighter, and two of the smallest jars I'd ever seen. It also had an open bag of chips, shoved precariously close to the edge of the table, and a honeybun still in the wrapper. I could see a washer/dryer combo in the hall that I assumed led to the bathroom and stairs, and the dining area of the kitchen in front of glass patio doors. A great, fuzzy dog played with a goofy, long legged black puppy in the back yard.

Toby cracked his neck, another tic, and Caleb noticed. "Need some help, man?" and then he sat in the recliner, pulling out a tray that had broken up weed on it, "I just got done curing some Proxy Punch and was just about to try it out. Move over, Tiger, let them sit down."

"Proxy Punch?" Toby asked and sat heavily on the couch as the tomcat moved. I sat next to him and Tommy took the end closest to the TV, already absorbed in Star Trek.

Caleb nodded and started stuffing ground weed into the bowl of the bong. When he was finished, he handed the bong and a lighter to Toby. Toby took it and lit it while inhaling through the mouthpiece of the bong, and then he pulled the bowl up, clearing the smoke from the bong. He held the smoke and handed the bong to me. I repeated the process before the flame could go out and handed the bong back to Toby, holding my breath. I decided Tommy didn't need to partake, unsure of how he would react and he seemed perfectly content with the TV.

I blew out my smoke shortly after Toby and could already feel my muscles relaxing. My mind didn't exactly slow, but everything took on a subdued, dreamy quality. I took another hit when the bong made it back to me and then it was passed back to Caleb.

"I also made some concentrate from it. Wanna try :3?" (I am legally obligated to type that face). He picked up the glass straw and one of the tiny jars and opened it. It held a little lump of orange stuff that looked like wet sugar.

"I'm okay" I said, my high just right, "But you two go ahead." I leaned back into the couch and watched as Caleb tried to teach Toby what to do, finally heating the end of the glass straw for him and showing him where to put it in the jar while he told him to breathe in.

Toby broke out into coughs as sweet, citrusy smelling smoke flowed from his mouth.

"Whoa, easy there Tobes. It's easy to get too much" Caleb explained as I tried to help Toby. Speaking of coughs, I thought, mine had been mysteriously absent ever since meeting Slenderman. I wondered why and then it was gone.

Caleb repeated the process easily, but the coughs caught him too. Next thing I knew, Caleb and Toby were slapping each other on the back, red faced, trying to help each other breathe.

Once they could breathe, Toby and Caleb caught up, and Caleb had information.

"Yeah, Jeff's been by. But he's acting... Weirder than usual."

"Hm. What about anyone else? People trying to look like Jeff, maybe?"

"Yeah, those little creeps show up trying to meet him way after he's already left."

"Do you know any crime scenes around town?"

"There was one a street over from where you grew up." Caleb replied, "Someone... Else came by, a few weeks ago." He sounded reluctant to bring it up.

"Who?" Toby asked like he already knew the answer and wasn't happy about it.

"It was Natalie" Caleb said, looking down as he fidgeted with his lighter.

I didn't know Toby could get paler, his skin taking on the same gray tint it had at the hospital. Whoever Natalie was caused a bad reaction in Toby, and Caleb loaded the pipe and handed it to him, "She was weird too, like Jeff. Hit that, Tobes, it'll make you feel better."

Toby and Caleb smoked and soon Toby was relaxed again. Tiger bumped up against my leg I followed him into the greenhouse. Six plants sat in the greenhouse, all in full flower. Two pots still holding dirt sat next to the door and buds were being dried on the table in the center. Caleb wasn't following Colorado weed laws, not surprising. Colorado residents over twenty one could have three of six plants budding at one time and he had obviously just harvested another two. But, no harm came of it, so I'd keep it to myself. I checked out each plant with Tiger then sat at the table, which was covered in carvings. One in particular stood out to me. "TA+NO".

TA was definitely Toby. I recognized his chicken scratch handwriting. But who was NO? Natalie...

"Ouelette." Millie finished for me in my head and I looked for her.

"I'm just in your head, Grace."

Oh. I stopped looking for her, feeling foolish.

"Natalie Ouelette, aka Clockwork. She used to be Toby's girlfriend. But one day, she took Toby to the hospital where you found him in Pueblo. He'd been there before, and she had him admitted. She played the victim card perfectly and abandoned him there."

My heart broke for the betrayal Toby had gone through, and his caution suddenly made sense. He'd just picked up the pieces of his heart when I met him. He didn't want it broken again. He must trust me immensely. Luckily, I couldn't even dream of doing such a thing. I knew Toby wasn't a saint. He was some Eldritch beings general, and assassin. I'd felt Slenderman's age in my head like a weight. Toby wasn't perfect, but he was mine.

"If she comes around making trouble," I told Millie, "I'll take care of it." I was suddenly fiercely protective.

"Take care of what?" Toby asked, having snuck up on me, and then he kissed my cheek.

"Just talking with Millie" I said, "assuring her that I've got you."

He smiled and nestled his face into the side of my neck, "I know you do. Come on, let's eat."

"You?! Willingly eating?!"

Toby gave me a goofy grin, "The munchies wait for no man."

So Ifollowed him into the kitchen and supervised as Toby and Caleb deep fried chicken strips and fries, completely stoned.

"Grace, you have to try this ketchup."

I took Tommy some food and a zip lock baggie of sauces Caleb had collected from various restaurants. When I returned, Caleb had gotten out different jars of sauce.

Caleb smiled proudly, "I realized that tomato plants and weed plants are both in the nightshade family. So I spliced a tomato plant with a Blue Dream plant and made this ketchup." I tried some and it tasted great, sweet and tangy with just a hint of spice. I waited for the cannabis infusion part to blow me away and was pleasantly surprised thirty minutes later with a low level body buzz.

The day passed like this, filtered through the blue gray weed smoke. Toby kept true to his word and ate way more than I'd ever seen him eat before. When the sun started going down, Caleb offered me and Toby his guest room down the hall. Tommy was already knocked out on the couch, the radio playing softly. Caleb smoked a nightcap with the two of us, and then retired to his room upstairs.

Tiger is based off a real cat. This cat. Any comparisons to other actual cats is purely coincidental

Also, @mybloodisthc is composing a soundtrack for this and I just 🥺