#and violently pulled something that forcibly locked my shoulder / neck / joint? some way as I threw up
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It's all fun and games joking about bodies going OW for no reason for people older than us until we get to that age and This post is about my neck. I slept on my neck wrong. My neck will never recover.
#Actually I got violent vertigo and upsetti tummy from Too Many Redbulls driving cross country#at the end of the summer#and violently pulled something that forcibly locked my shoulder / neck / joint? some way as I threw up#and that shoulder and neck side have not been completely the same since#but since I had such horrible endometriosis all my life I have Incredibly High Pain Tolerance#I could likely get checked out find a disc slipped or something ridiculous#have a physician go “why did you never get this checked”#and go honestly not the worst pain plus American healthcare amiright#Just like how one leg is longer than the other and I was born with my hips wonked in a way that impacts my spine and I didn't notice#until a labor job sprained my entire fffing back and they took xrays and found all that#along with my muscles being so strained and pulling so much to one side it was pulling my spine with it#Anyway my neck hurts#American healthcare sucks AND#labor jobs = selling your body just as much as sex work does#Also I'm too old for sugar free redbull
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Chapter 1 - The Dying Light
Reminder: Everything posted for this AU here is still a work in progress. Nothing is finalized, but the finalized version will eventually be published on my WattPad(NotYourDeku).
Ps: This chapter is over 2k words long.
Chapter 1
Izuku shot up in his bed. He was breathing heavily, his lungs heaving desperately for oxygen. His hands flung up to his eyes to shield them from the harsh LED lights. He could smell the sterile environment, mostly just the antiseptic fluids. The faint smell of wilting flowers wafted in through the vents in his room. He could feel the cold metal collar around his neck, bandages in various places, and the IV in his arm.
The walls were sickeningly white and reflective, the floor was hardly any better with the shiny linoleum tiles. In his typhoon of panic, he struggled desperately to escape the heavy blankets draped and wrapped around his legs. His senses were overwhelmed.
'How did I get here? Why am I here? Why can't I remember anything? What's going on?!' And thoughts of a similar fashion flowed through Izuku's mind.
His eyes went wide as he tried to get the blanket off only to wince in pain. He fell back with a grunt, immediately moving a hand towards the area of discomfort. Tracing it lightly with his bony fingers while only more questions arose. He shook his head, shuddering, but his curiosity was killing him.
Ever so carefully, he pulled the hospital gown to the side. His dark green and sunken-in eyes going wide. He quickly covered back up. The sight of his body so bruised and banged up made Izuku nauseated.
The scars on his body were not manly or cool, in fact, the scars disgusted him entirely. He wanted, no he needed, those damn reminders gone. The voices that plagued him were taken from those he once knew, but distorted and bent. They said things that were never said, or even things that were said by others.
“You’ll never be strong enough to fight back.”
“You’re to blame for what happened to you.”
“Nobody needs a villain like you.”
“I heard that boy has a villainous quirk.”
“He’s a monster!”
No matter how much he wished, the damn things just wouldn't go away. His past was dark, and the things he went through? Nobody would ever understand that he, not having a choice in what happened to him, would never be able to heal. His mind was just as broken and bruised as his body.
Izuku shook his head defiantly while subconsciously scratching at his arms with clipped nails. The doctors likely had to clip them just in case he had a bad reaction. Maybe he had panicked and tried to scratch someone? He wasn't sure and the overwhelming of his senses didn't help.
His next step was to get out of here, out of this place. The white hospital walls gave him chills, they reminded him of the room he was stuck in for so long. All logic was thrown out the window after that. He couldn't make sense of his surroundings, so his brain reacted the only way it could.
His eyes were wide, every nerve in his body trembling. His memories flashed through his brain. Eyes slamming shut as Izuku grabbed at his hair. Every atom in his body raced. His throat became choked with sobs while rivers of tears flowed down his face.
The heart rate monitor began screeching. His entire body shaking violently. His chest heaved up and down, rattling his ribs silently. Izuku let out an anguished wail that never reached the ears of anyone. His quirk defensively flared to life as it was no longer blocked by the cuffs.
The elegant shadow flames burst to life from his shoulder blades in the form of blazing wings. The area of contact started to burn and blister. His body had not become accustomed to the scorching heat. Of course, it had been 9 years since it was last used.
Izuku could hear as the door burst open, his ears ringing as his panic attack heightened. When a blue mist began to swirl around him he became neurotic, overwhelmed as his lungs pounded within his chest. Inadvertently he inhaled the navy blue mist. His body beginning to relax, forcibly calming down. His eyes fluttered as his exhaustion from his quirk usage caught up with him.
Izuku could feel someone gently coaxing his body into a lying position. The alarmed shouts that came when something major happened ringing out. Immediately his hospital bed was wheeled into the ER wing, doctors and nurses rushing to check the others in the ward. Spots danced around his eyelids, his eyes flickering open and closed.
His body hurt, throbbing with pain. He had trouble focusing, trying to stay awake. Where were they taking him? His head pounded against his skull, he tried to get up and look around but was held down by a nurse. Something was slipped into his arm, and his body grew heavy. Unable to fight the anesthetic, despite trying to stay awake, his body was soon taken over.
That's when he was prepped for the operation. The skin exposed to his quirk was covered in 3rd-degree burns. Blisters bubbled up from his skin, blood dried from the heat. It was a miracle his wings hadn't set the room on fire.
Doctors frantically worked on him, transferring blood while they worked on the skin graft. He laid there exposed and under anesthetic. Blood had to be transfused his body was too taxed to make enough. Shears were taken to his singed hair.
The doctors operating on him had nurses scrambling for a skin graft. Healing quirks would take too much of his stamina. The entire room held their breath, the air carrying a grim aura. The heart monitor beeped threateningly in the background.
The room smelled faintly of blood. Everyone was covered in the red substance. Finally, there was a cry from the hallway. The doors were burst open as a cart was frantically wheeled into the room. No time was wasted as the operation continued, emotions roaring inside every one the entire time.
Eventually, the doctors emerged from the room. The exhaustion on their faces was mistaken for grief. The nurses on standby became worried. Shocked whispers spread about, feverishly asking questions about the child formerly being operated on.
"Had he died? Did something go wrong? Was the graft not the correct type?" They chattered back and forth to each other. Their voices clamoring together like a marketplace.
A blue-haired woman was waved over. The doctors spoke to her in a hushed whisper, and she nodded accordingly. She turned around towards the gathered crowd. They held their breath, waiting for her to speak. The words that came out of her mouth immediately changed the atmosphere.
Izuku had accepted the treatment, he would survive. Afterward, he was wheeled back to his room. The anesthetic would keep him asleep and pain-free for the time being. Hospital life went on like nothing happened while others rushed for various reasons.
When he came to, he was back in his hospital room. Slowly looking around, he heard the door open. With enough speed to give him whiplash, his head moved to view the door. His back went rigid, old habits die hard. On the border of another outburst, Izuku felt his anxiety mounting.
His mind settled when the doctor let herself in. The long blue hair she had caught his attention immediately. The healthy, silky navy blue sapphire locks dancing around her waist.
Some small part of Izuku wanted to ask if she could help him with his hair, but decided against it. He was shaken out of his thoughts by the noise of squeaky plastic wheels being dragged across the floor. He stayed still as she spoke, afraid she would be angry.
"Hello Izuku, I am Senzuki. Senzuki Sorasatoko, the doctor overseeing your recovery. If you don't mind answering do you remember what happened?" She asked the silent boy making sure to keep her tone comforting. She had seen the report on his condition and had decided to try a softer approach.
"No, everything... is blurred together. It's hard to remember right now... maybe I'll remember everything at a later date." Izuku responded his raspy and hoarse voice barely louder than a whisper. He fidgeted somewhat, feeling the gauze on his back wiggle. He kept his gave level with Senzuki's, gazing her directly in the eyes.
"Okay, we can come back to that at a later time. I need you to answer some questions for me. However, don't feel like you have to answer anything you don't want to. Can you do that for me Izuku?" Senzuki asked, trying to get her patient to open up.
However, what her words really meant was, "I'm going to pressure you into answering everything."
"I think I can manage that... Sorasatoko-san." Izuku responded, gripping the blanket laid across his legs. His hands shook, and he looked down at his knees with a fallen look. He chewed his lip nervously before looking back to Senzuki.
"You can call me Senzuki, Izuku. Alright, how old are you Izuku?" Senzuki inquired while making sure to jot down his actions. Also, she wrote down notes on his behaviors. They needed to be addressed and eradicated. His apprehensive practices were not pleasing in the least.
"Thirteen Senzuki-san," Izuku answered after some hesitation. His fingers twitched as he stretched them, his joints aching painfully. He wiggled inelegantly in a disturbed fashion. After all, the last time he had been in the hospital was years ago.
Senzuki struggled to hold her shock. Her voice caught in her throat and she coughed to break the tension. The efforts of Senzuki were wasted in the end. She decided that moving onto the next question would be best. 'Nevermind his age, we need answers!' She reasoned with herself.
"How'd you get those scars Izuku?" She questioned the green-haired boy sitting in front of her. The pen in her hand feverishly hovered as it begged for the unspoken answer.
"... Next question please." He responded quietly and self-consciously hugging his arms. Izuku looked away, after all, it was bad enough he had them in the first place.
"Izuku, I need you to tell me where you got those scars," Senzuki responded to the neurotic boy. She had to keep a calm tone towards the boy. His jitteriness was likely a side effect of whatever he had faced.
"I... I... I can't tell you. Can... I have the next question please?" He spoke quietly, his voice quivered with every word. Izuku didn't want to remember, those memories terrified him. Often times he'd stay awake because of the nightmares they had caused.
"I need you to tell me." Senzuki snipped at Izuku, getting annoyed. Oh how looking back she would've wished she knew. But that just isn't how the story goes. Her temper was beginning to bubble as she sat there. `How many times do I have to ask?! Why is he being so stubborn, we're just trying to help.' She feverishly thought to herself.
"... Next question, please." Izuku responded while his eyes began to tear up, despite how tightly they were shut. He hugged his torso as he leaned forward. Immediately his mind began to spin. 'Why me? Doesn't she understand that I can't answer?'
"Izuku. I need an answer. Then we can move on." Senzuki firmly stated, losing her patience with Izuku. First, he nearly set his entire room on fire, and now he dared to deny her an answer. 'How entitled does he think he is?!'
Izuku's silence spoke a thousand words. Shaking as he kept his eyes shut and curled over. He was fighting to stay calm and losing the battle. His blood becoming angry river rapids within his body. His bony fingers clawed desperately at his sides. His heart pounded against the cage it was locked behind. All the while tears streamed down his face during his silent sobs.
Senzuki snapped at Izuku, the pitiful shaking of the boy stopping. Her voice ringing down the halls, "Izuku Midoriya! You will answer me, how did you get those scars!"
Izuku shot up only to curl-in on himself. His arms wrapped around his head to cover his ears. His face was tucked between his legs and chest. Broken cries escaping his mouth, "I'm sorry! Please don't hurt me! I'm sorry. Don't put me back there, please. He'll find me..." His words chanting on in this manner.
Izuku choked on his tears as his voice warbled. His broken cries decreasing while he tried to protect himself. The screeching of the medical equipment beside him became suddenly muffled.
Senzuki didn't know how to respond to his sudden reaction. She didn't mean to scare him that much. She hadn't known, god she should've known. 'Why didn't I put two and two together? He showed signs of abuse, of course, he would react negatively.'
Doing the only thing she could think of at the moment, she grabbed a blanket from the cabinet. Bundling the boy in the creme sheet she proceeded to pull him close to her body. A calming dark blue mist began to swirl around the sobbing form.
"It's okay Izuku, nobody is going to hurt you. I promise that we won't send you back," She reassured him. She let out a sigh of relief that she didn't know she was holding as the erratic beeping of the machine calmed down.
Senzuki felt Izuku nod against her chest. Eventually, she parted from the boy and helped him shift in the blanket. Izuku sat there with the heavy fabric draped around his shoulders, rubbing at his face.
Izuku sniffled, proceeding to try and piece his words together as he spoke. His voice cracked as he spoke, "They... they hurt me... a lot. Everyone h-hurt... me. K-kept a... a set of... quirk cuffs..."
Senzuki quieted him, watching how he began to shake and begin to cry all over again. The blue-haired woman made sure to keep her hands where Izuku could see them. She took his small bony hands in hers and rubbed them comfortingly.
"It's okay Izuku, you don't have to tell me until you're ready. Why don't we move on to the other questions, okay?" Senzuki inquired to Izuku, keeping her tone calm. She understood that whatever he went through had damaged him.
"You won't push me for answers?" Izuku responded as he sniffled and rubbed his face. His attempt to clean his face was unsuccessful, between the dried tear tracks and snot running down his face. Senzuki handed him a paper towel, which Izuku used to clean his face.
"I won't push you for answers," Senzuki reassured the pale thirteen-year-old. She picked her abandoned clipboard off the floor and flipped through the pages. She quickly filled out all the information she could from what he had told her. The sound of furious writing filled the room for a moment, then the sound of silence.
"Izuku, would you mind telling me about your quirk?" Senzuki's question broke the silence in the air.
"My quirk? I don't know much about it, just that I can use shadow flames. And they get stronger with my emotions and the dark, along with they can move locations... Sorry, Senzuki-san." Izuku apologized as he hung his head. He chewed on his lip nervously, fidgeting as he waited for a response.
"That's okay Izuku. From what was observed, and what you told me, the drawbacks of your quirk will be figured out," Senzuki spoke as she wrote down what she could. Her tone was calming and mellow as she continued, "Is there anyone close to your family that we can contact?"
"I... I think so, my auntie Bakugou was close to my mom..." Izuku responded, trailing off after his voice caught on the last few words. He fidgeted hesitantly, wringing his hands together while a cold sweat ran down his skin. He hadn't seen his "aunt" in years, and the last family member he had contact with sold him to the black market.
"But... I'm not sure how she'll react. Most of my family is... pretty bad." The skeletal grass head continued, voicing his anxiety quietly. His chapped lips cracking as he spoke, he swallowed uncomfortably for a minute. He winced as he did so, his throat was raw from neglecting to use his voice. At least until recently, when he had to begin speaking again.
“That’s okay Izuku. Do you have any allergies?” Senzuki moved on, trying her best to keep him from lingering on a single subject for long. She didn’t want Izuku to have another breakdown, today had been eventful enough for both of them.
“Not that I know of, sorry,” Izuku responded as he meekly tried to hide. Old habits die hard, and trained habits and actions even harder. He jumped as Senzuki let out a soft sigh, mistaking it as a showing of disappointment, and apologized several times afterward.
“Izuku, stop apologizing. It’s alright, you didn’t do anything wrong. Are you in any pain?” She questioned as she comfortingly held one of Izuku’s hands. She could fill out the rest of the information from his file, but strangely he was all caught up on his shots.
“No… not really,” Izuku told Senzuki after he had stopped apologizing. Senzuki nodded and got up, gently running her fingers through his hair. She watched as he first flinched away only to then relax and move closer to her hand.
‘Kinda like a kitten,’ Senzuki thought with amusement as she stifled a chuckle. Tucking her clipboard under her arm, she went to leave the room. Before Senzuki got to the door, she looked back at Izuku.
“Try and get some rest, I’ll come back later with some food for you. There’s a button by your bedside table if you need anything.” Senzuki informed him with a small smile, getting a nod in response from the green-haired teen on the bed. With that, she left the room, the heavy wooden door closing behind her with a “click”.
Izuku looked around quietly, suddenly aware of how tired he was. With some effort, he managed to move into a lying down position. His eyes fluttered open and closed for a few moments, only to heavily close as he fell asleep. His chest rose and fell as he slept, and his fearful expression melted into one of peace.
#The Dying Light au#dark themes#anxiety#oc#ashwritesstuff#Izuku#midoriya izuku#bnha izuku#quirk au#bnha bakugo katsuki#mitsuki bakugou#angst#mha#mha deku#bnha au#bnha#pagankingfinn
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