#and usually it makes me feel proud to call this country my home

[metalcorebarbie]

x

[hellodropbear]

like she used to

alexia putellas x sister

i have been writing this for ages and it has just sat in my documents folder since january. i don't usually post stuff i write so this will probably get taken down at some point. i've written 13k words so far but this is just the first 4k.

~~~~~~

I hadn't expected to get the call up, not at all really. But Mapi tore her meniscus and apparently the first team found themselves in need of a backup centre back and I was the best option from the B team. It's a compliment, really. Mami is very proud of me and she is excited for me and my sister to play together in a few weeks, even though she is still recovering from her surgery and I will probably not make it off the bench. I am only 15 and 10 months, usually they wait until you are at least 16 and a bit before you can play. 

But, I don't really know how to feel. Thankfully Alexia won't be in training with me for now and I try to avoid thinking about what will happen when she eventually gets better and I have to face her again.

Alexia is my older sister by a lot. There's a 14 year age gap between us and I used to completely and utterly idolise her. She and Alba were two superheroes, always by my side when I needed them. I put them on a pedestal like they were the greatest human beings to ever walk the planet. To me back then, they were. 

I was only four when my father died. All I remember from that time was the big black invisible sheet that hung outside his study and the dark and scary emotions that swallowed our house whole. Alba and Alexia would argue about who got to cuddle me at night and I was so unaware what was happening that I would happily agree, wiping away their tears when it all got too much. 

The death of our father made our family unit stronger. Mami, Ale, Alba and Elena - it was all any of us needed and we supported each other in whatever ways we could. 

Mami had to pick up more shifts at her job, so she couldn't pick me up from school. Alexia had just got her license so she would come in a break during training and pick me up in her training gear. 

Alexia didn't have time to drop me off at home so I would sit and watch the training with whoever wanted to give me company when they were injured. 

Most days, Alba would come and pick me up and take me on the bus all the way home. She would play cartoons on the TV as she sat at the table and did school work. Some days, when she had the time she would sit with me and watch Alexia's training and we'd all go home together. Alba used to say she enjoyed the training. Looking back, I think she just wanted a free ride home and an excuse to not do her homework. 

As I grew up, everything just worked. Alexia and Alba were still living at home as a support to Mami and everything was perfect. My sisters were my idols, my Mami was my shining star. She still is. She would do anything for her daughters, as long as it meant we were all happy. 

That is why it has been so hard for her over the past two years. 

I have not been happy, not really. My football has been thriving, I have represented my country in the under 17 age group and I am a consistent starter in the Barcelona B team. I spent two years in La Masia before they sent me to the B team last year and I have only been improving since. Everything is going well. Mami says I have had a better start to my career than Alexia did. 

Maybe that is why Alexia hates me. Maybe Mami is just saying that to make me feel better about it.

Alexia and I, despite the 14 year age gap, were always inseparable - for the first 12 years of my life. She was at every single school event, football game, she picked me up from trainings when she could and would train me herself in the garden. We shared a common passion that Alba was not interested in at all - we both love football, we eat, sleep and breath it. Football is everything. She was the one who gave me that mentality. 

"Football is life, Lena, you are lucky you are so good because now you also get to live football and hermanita, it is the most incredible thing." 

She had whispered that to me when I was 11. We were sat on the beach, a place we visited frequently throughout my childhood, both of us staring out at the reflection of the moon on the sea. Alba was fast asleep, her head in Alexia's lap as she snored lightly, completely oblivious to our conversation. 

It all fell apart over three years ago, although I don't have the first clue as to why. 

It was not an explicit event that ruined everything, more my older sister growing up and flying the nest that was so secure and established over years and years of shared success, happiness, failure and grief. She moved out of home long before that, but her split with Jenni upset her, I think, a great deal. I wouldn't know because she didn't really tell me anything - that was strictly Alba's business. 

I didn't even know they had broken up until 5 months after it actually happened. 

"Mami, why does Jenni never come over any more?" 

It was an innocent and normal question, but the look on my mother's face told me everything. Everything about Jenni and everything about my sister. 

I think that was the first knock. She hadn't done anything wrong but I had loved Jenni and Jenni had loved me. I would have thought that she would have told me they broke up. Maybe she didn't want to, maybe she just forgot. She does a lot of that these days. 

Before she and Jenni broke up, she still came to all of my games. She never missed one game before I transferred to La Masia and would insist on taking me out to ice cream after every one. She would tease me for not scoring like she does, even though I play as a centre back. 

"You need some training from Mapi, she is a centre back and has the most lethal free kick, hermanita! She is the best defender I have played with, but don't tell her I said that. I think you will grow up to be better than her." 

She was excited that day, I had made a few good saves and I think that was the first time she really saw that I had the potential to be great. 

I remember the first game she was late to. I noticed immediately but we both pretended she was on time - she only made it to the last 10 minutes but I put it down as traffic or being caught up at training. She was busy, it takes a lot to be La Reina. 

I remember the first game she missed entirely. She wasn't there at the beginning and she wasn't there at the end. I was 13 and I didn't have a phone yet so I couldn't call Mami and ask her to come pick me up because Alexia was too busy. I told myself it was because she was too busy. I didn't want to say she had forgotten because that was too hard for me to handle. 

I remember vividly sitting outside the stadium as the sun set. My coach had asked where my sister was, I was a bit stuck with what to say but I managed to convince her I was fine and she could go home. 

Alba came and picked me up after work that night. It was dark and she looked sad but when I asked if she was ok, she just shrugged her shoulders and said everything would be fine. 

I found out from Mami a few weeks later that Alba was sad because I had never once been forgotten anywhere. Alba saw that as the destruction of our strong family. I suppose she was not wrong. 

Alexia never said anything about that game but she was at the next. She didn't take me out for ice cream after, instead patting my head and telling me she would drop me off at Mami's work. 

"I have things to do, Elena, I am very busy. Hopefully soon Mami will let you catch the bus on your own. Maybe Alba can take you soon so you know the correct routes." 

Her words hurt more than I could admit to myself, I told myself to stop being pathetic. Mami asked why I was crying when I walked into her office. I told her I had played terribly and she comforted me. I think she knew I was lying. I think that is why she had tears in her eyes when she released me from her grip-like hold.

Since that day, Alexia has been to 3 of my games. She went to one more of my old club games but she was sat beside Alba, her eyes glued to her phone the entire match. I was so unfocused that the ball deflected off my face and we conceded. I was taken off with a bleeding nose but when I looked up in the stands, my sister was still staring at her phone. Alba had run down the stairs and was by my side when I entered the little sick bay. 

I cried then too. Most people thought it was because of the bleeding nose or the conceded goal. Alba knew that wasn't the real reason. 

The penultimate game she watched was the final of the under 15s Catalonia cup. I don't know what she did during the game because Mami told me not to look up. She said she didn't want me to get distracted but I think she meant to say she didn't want me to get hurt. 

I think I still idolised Alexia at that point in time. She was still my older sister and she was still the best player in the world. She still had weekly dinners at home, although she wouldn't sit next to me and sneakily take all the food I didn't want off my plate anymore. She stopped staying to watch a movie after dinner even though my favourite part of the week was falling asleep in her lap as her hands combed softly through my hair. 

I remember when I was accepted into La Masia, Mami held a nice big dinner. It was right in the middle of covid so it was technically illegal, but we had a lot of my family over. Mami invited a few of the Barcelona girls as well and Mapi and Leila reminded me of what it used to be like before Alexia stopped loving me. 

The reminder of the before was more painful than I liked to admit, and the night ended when the tears that had been burning in the back of my eyes finally spilled out as I was talking to Mapi. 

She immediately pulled me into her arms and asked what was wrong and I struggled to find a lie that would be believable. 

I settled on saying I was upset about everything changing - which I suppose was true. 

I remember Alexia looking mortified and breaking eye contact as soon as I looked at her. She told me off that evening when Mami was in the shower and Alba was talking to someone else. She told me I needed to be grateful for everything I have been given and that she paved the way for me. 

It was even worse when she said I would never achieve the things she has. She said it was because I didn't have the mentality that she did, that I had it all so easy. 

It hurt the most when she told me she was disappointed in the person I was. 

"I hope we never share a shirt, Elena, because the day you play in the first Barcelona team is the day that we have run out of players. It will mean that football players are week and female footballers can not be weak. You do not have it in you to be like me, to do what I have done to get to where I am."

The venom in her voice sent a cold shiver down my spine and I felt like I had been stabbed. I didn't cry that time. I waited until I was in my bedroom to sob my heart out. 

The last time she ever watched me play was the next day, but she didn't have an option not to. I played terribly, my first game as a La Masia student, my sisters words repeating over and over in my head. 

That was really what tipped the relationship I once shared with Alexia on its head. The pedestal I had put her on was destroyed and suddenly she was just another player. I barely saw her as my sister any more. She couldn't love me, you wouldn't be able to hurt someone you love so much. 

I have barely seen her since. She still comes to our family dinners on Thursday nights - she still very much loves Alba and our Mami. But I tell Mami that I have training with Barcelona B late on Thursdays. It finishes at 6 and dinner starts at 7, but I just organise to go to my friends' houses for dinner instead. 

Sometimes we both have dinner together at home, but it is awkward and I hate it. I think she has probably forgotten about what she said to me in June of 2021, but I don't think I will ever be able to. 

She doesn't like me, but it's ok because I have learnt to accept that. But I will never not love my sister because she was once everything to me. 

~~~~~~

"Pequena Putellas!" Patri's excited shriek is what welcomes me into the dressing room on my first day. She tackles me into a hug and squeezes me tight. "It has been such a long time, mi favorita!" 

The last time I saw Patri was only last year at the champions league final. I had sat with my whole family but I went to the bathroom when everyone else went and spoke to the players. I don't think Patri would have seen me. 

I can only smile as she continues. 

"I remember you as the little 8 year old who would sit and watch our training sessions after school! I was so confused by you when I first arrived here, you know. I remember the first time Ale let you play a game with us and you were so good!" 

"Nobody doubted that you would be on this team one day!" A new voice entered the conversation.

"Marta!" I hugged the brunette closely. She was always one of my favourites. 

"I am proud of you, pequena putellas." 

Her words are familiar as I have heard them out of my mothers voice time and time again my whole life. But they seem foreign coming from Marta and it is an unwanted reminder of my sister. I don't know why - maybe it is because I have always associated this Barcelona team with her. I don't remember the last time she said she was proud of me. 

I don't remember the last time she said anything to me, really. 

"Gracias, Marta, I have missed you." I bury my head into her neck and she holds me closer. 

"You have not been around as much since you transferred to La Masia. I wanted to come and watch but Ale never extended an invitation and I didn't want to overstep." I shake my heads at her words and she frowns. 

"Alexia doesn't have time for my games, she hasn't for a while. It takes a lot to be La Reina." 

Marta's frown deepens at my words and the attention of a few spanish players is captured. I should have spoken quieter, I forgot how many people in here speak catalan. 

"It is ok, she is very supportive, but she just can't come to my games. She makes it up in other ways." I am lying through my teeth but Marta will never know. 

"I am sure, she must be very proud of you, being selected in this team for the first time, it is a big deal, you are very young."

All I can do is nod, my energy is all being put into holding back my own tears. I don't know if Mami told her. I don't know if Alexia even knows that I was selected. 

"Get changed now, I am sure Jona will want to talk to you before the session, especially with the game tomorrow."

I nod again as Marta pats me on the back and walk over to the cubby that says my name. It feels a bit surreal, really. 

I never really thought I would see my name on a Barcelona cubby, accompanied by my new number that I chose in the meeting a few days ago. It was always a dream, but I never thought it was achievable. Alexia always seemed like a superstar, a superhuman of sorts and I would never reach that kind of level. 

But here I am in the team that I always wanted to be in - in no way am I anywhere near my sisters level but I am on my way to being like her. I just wish she cared. I wish she was proud of me like Marta is. 

Her cubby sits across from me and I try to tear my eyes from it but it sits and stares right back at me. I feel like an intruder in Alexia's space, this is not for me, she would not want me to be here. 

I tie my laces quickly after that and head out onto the pitches to begin training. 

I have trained with the first team twice before, but the Barcelona Bs were always slightly seperate and we could keep our distance from the first players. Jonatan is a familiar face and I feel comfortable as he smiles and me and motions for me to follow the others to the gym. 

It is weird, being promoted within my own club. I am not so much a new signing, but a replacement - I am not good enough to be in the first team but they had no other options when Mapi injured herself. 

I used to worry that people would say I only get opportunities because my last name is Putellas. When my sister told me I was weak all those years ago, that idea sort of cemented in my head, I suppose. 

I never told my Mami what her daughter said to me because it would upset her. I told Alba half of it when she found me crying in my room a few days later but made her promise to not tell anyone. She couldn't say anything to Mami, Alexia, anyone at all because it would only make Alexia think I was weaker. 

She was furious and tried to tell me it was untrue but it had already been said. I believed Alexia's word more than anyone else. To me, she was a superhuman. 

But when I spoke to Jonatan a few days ago he made me feel like I was wanted within this squad. He made it clear that he wants me to integrate completely into the squad in the next few years and that he can see me playing soon even though I am only 15. 

I told him I didn't want anything special because of my surname. 

He told me that he chose me because of my first name. 

"Elena Putellas,"  he said with a grin, "you may be as good as her, but you are not your sister. This is a professional environment. As long as you perform, which I know you will, nobody will care what your name is."

It was a big boost to my confidence. 

Aitana Bonmati caught up to me quickly as I walked to the gym. 

"You are big now." I chuckled but did not look over, I didn't need to really. "But not that big. You are only 15, si?"

"Yes, I am 15." 

I met Aitana when she first joined the club. She always used to say that she would steal me and take me home with her because she thought I was adorable. It is strange that I am now sort of in the same team as her. 

She started playing for the first team when I was 8. I was older then, I played my own football and liked staying with Alexia so I could kick a ball around with her teammates when they were done. 

Aitana was one of the few who would stay every time I was there. When Alexia didn't want to wait she would drive me home herself, all the way to the other side of Barcelona. We would always stop for ice cream on the way home. 

"I have not seen you in too long, Lena. I have missed you a lot but you have been doing very well in the B team. I am very proud and I take credit for your abilities." She spoke in such a dead pan voice but it was somehow still filled with emotion. 

"I have missed you too, ABC." It was a nickname I gave her the first time she drove me home. I had been learning about the alphabet in English class and had the little song stuck in my head when she told me her full name. I used to sing her initials in the tune of the song but it quickly merged to me just saying the three letters. 

"I have been to a few of your games, you know?" 

I look at her in confusion, I have never seen her there. She just nods. 

"Alexia never invited any of us but she was never at the ones I went to so I would sit in the stands with a hat and glasses so people wouldn't recognise me, but I was there. I went to your La Masia games as well. You have become a phenomenal player, Lena."

She has always spoken with such sincerity. I have missed her a lot. 

"Maybe you can drop me off at home again tonight? I have missed you."

She chuckles and pulls me into a side hug. 

"I was waiting for you to ask, little Lena. Oh you are not so little any more!"

I chuckle as well and let my head fall onto her shoulder as we enter the gym. My eyes scan the room, looking at all of the players on their equipment, nerves quickly settling inside me. 

"Don't worry, it's all easy." Aitana seems to read my mind. "Just come with me and I will show you how to do everything. It will become second nature in the next few days."

The gym session went quickly as I was taught all the different exercises. I was familiar with most of them, having done a very similar program in the past with the B team. 

We went out onto the field to do some drills and I played well. Jonatan was impressed and so were the first players. My teammates? Maybe, not quite, I don't think. I still haven't been in a team list, so I suppose I'll be their teammate when that eventually happens. 

It wasn't until we reached the ice cream shop that Aitana started asking me all the awkward questions. I should have seen it coming. 

"Why do you never come to our games anymore, Lena?" I was very grateful for the scoops of gelato in my hands. Eating it delayed my response as I tried to come up with something to say. I shrug as I eat.

I can not say it is because I do not get along with Alexia. It is too hard for me to say now, even after all these years. 

"I'm not sure. I suppose I got busy with my own training and school. I have been to a few but I usually go home with Alba pretty quickly after they finish." It is only half a lie but she just shrugs, apparently not believing my words. 

"And why is it that I am driving you home from your first ever first team training? I thought Alexia would have wanted to." I anticipated a question like this but that does not mean I wanted her to actually ask it. 

"Alexia is busy." I hope that Aitana understands I don't want to talk about it. I haven't spoken about my broken relationship with my sister to anyone. I think she can sense something is wrong though, because she puts her spoon back into her ice cream and grabs my arm so I am staring right at her. 

"If you ever want to talk, I am right here, Lena. I know you don't like people knowing what is going on inside that crazy head of yours but it is good to release your feelings." 

She definitely knows something is wrong so I appreciate her not pushing. 

"I have outlets, I play football, I play the piano, I am ok, aitana, I really am." 

She eyed me as if to say she didn't believe me but dropped the topic anyway. 

"When did you get so good?"

chapter II

[matryosika]

Incoming Call

Pairing — Hyunjin x fem!reader Wordcount — 3,394 words Genre — Smut (18+) Includes — Suggestive content. Smut warnings under the cut. Author's note — This honestly came out of the blue. I was just feeling like phone sex and exhibitionism and this is what I ended up writing, haha. I hope you like it, it's just a silly little drabble in which my writer's block didn't get the best of me. I am actually proud I could come up with something, but it's not as filthy as other of my works. Please remember that english is not my first language, so i apologize for any mistakes in advanced! If you wish to support my blog further, please reblog and comment, leave an ask and check my pinned post for my ko-fi!

Smut warnings — Dirty talk. Phone sex and exhibitionism if you squint. Masturbation (m), Hyunjin is kind of a perv but it's very very tame. Use of petnames (baby), mentions of creampies, and other sexual fantasies. Hyunjin is needy and desperate. Reader's mom interrupts the hated moment (not cool!).

Time zones. 

By far your most terrible enemies these days. 

It wasn't only the jet lag that threw you off from coming back home, but the abysmal time difference between you and your boyfriend —he goes to bed right before you wake up, and his most active time is when you are about to sleep. 

It has been a couple of days, but texting with him has been an absolute nightmare. 

“It’s only a week,” you reassured him as he waved you goodbye at the airport. His lower lip was slightly pouting, and his usually straight eyebrows were raised in a subtle furrow. “I’m sure you’ll live, Hyunjin”. 

“Yeah but I wanted to come with you,” there was genuine pity in his voice and you knew he meant it —he never misses a chance to join you on your trips back home, or meeting your parents.  

Because of how busy he has been, and the fact that this trip was practically nonexistent a week before, he just couldn't ask for a time off at work this time.

“We’re spending Christmas there this year,” you tried to cheer him up, rubbing his arm with solace, “time flies by, anyways”. 

Hyunjin nodded, resigning himself to the imminent struggle of being hours and miles apart from each other.

“Text me when you get there, yeah?” He planted a chaste kiss on your forehead and held you tightly. “Text me all the time, I’ll reply when I can, okay?”

You nodded against his chest, and kept his promise throughout the whole trip. 

You texted him when you got to your home country, and you also texted him a picture of your first meal there. You told him all about the weather, how happy your parents were to see you after a while and the things you missed the most.

He promised he would reply when he could, but you knew that wasn't going to happen any time soon. Or at least not for a couple of more hours, until he woke up.

And basically, that has been the whole dynamic all along —you text him everything about your day at a given time, and he texts you everything about his day at a given time as well. There's very little conversation happening in between, but it's understandable.

By day 3, Hyunjin learned to convert time zones. If it is morning for him, it is late afternoon for you. If it is his late night, you're probably just waking up.

He knows when to text you —if he is expecting a quick response— and knows when you're sleeping. Taking all that into account, Hyunjin tries to make the most of the time that's actually convenient for the two of you to talk.

[08:19 a.m., Hyunjin: Baby]

With furrowed eyebrows, your fingers type away faster than your mind can comprehend it. 

[08:19 a.m., You: Shouldn’t you be asleep?]

[08:19 a.m., You: Isn’t it like 11 p.m. in Seoul?]

He is a night owl. Always have been.

But he has been trying really hard to adopt a healthier sleeping schedule, so seeing him online past 10 p.m. it's unusual these days.

“Everything alright?” Your father asks, picking up on the subtle furrow of your brows.

“Yeah, I’m just talking to Hyunjin,” with your phone in one hand, and the other busy with a fork on your breakfast, you await his response. 

“It’s such a shame he couldn’t make it,” your mother adds, “it has been a while since we last met him”.

At that moment, when your mom and dad start talking about how great of a guy he is and how happy they’re to have him as part of the family, your phone vibrates yet again in your hand. 

[08:21 a.m., Hyunjin: Attachment: one image]

[08:21 a.m., Hyunjin: Can you see how much I miss you?]

If it wasn’t for the glass of water you smartly chugged down to hide your coughs, you would have choked on a piece of fruit. Inevitably, and after a failed attempt to conceal the embarrassing moment, your parents' eyes are fixed on you with concern.

“Sorry,” you excuse yourself, cleaning your lips with a napkin while you relentlessly try to put your phone away from anyone’s sight. 

“Are you alright?” your mother asks this time, softly hitting your back 

“Yes,” you nod swiftly. “I just- the food kind of went into the wrong pipe”. 

On your lap, your phone keeps vibrating —one after another, you lose count after message number 4.

[08:22 a.m., Hyunjin: God, I miss your body so much]

[08:22 a.m., Hyunjin: Just want you here for me. Don't want anyone else to have you right now] 

[08:23 a.m., Hyunjin: My hand isn't enough. It doesn't feel like your pussy does]

[08:23 a.m., Hyunjin: Can you come back to me now? Lay underneath me and let me have my way with you?]

[08:24 a.m., Hyunjin: You have no idea how fucking hard I am] 

You gulp loudly.

“What do you think?” It's only when your mother directs a question at you that you snap out of your trance. 

“Huh?”

“What do you think about spending Christmas in some beautiful cabins? They're like 45 minutes away from the city,” she continues, offering you some of the context you missed because of Hyunjin’s heated messages.

“Uh, yeah,” you reply with hesitation. Not because of the idea, but because you really can’t process anything other than the warmth between your legs. “I- uh, I have to go to the restroom”. 

For all he knows, you're lying comfortably in your bed as this is around the time you usually wake up. So damned you, for not letting Hyunjin know that today you are having breakfast with your family at a restaurant. And damned him for putting you into an awkward situation without even knowing of it.

[08:25 a.m., Hyunjin: Can I call you?]

[08:25 a.m., Hyunjin: Want to hear your voice]

[08:25 a.m., Hyunjin: Please, talk to me. Tell me anything you want. Just let me hear that pretty voice of yours]

[08:27 a.m., Hyunjin: Fuck it]

[08:27 a.m., Hyunijn: I’m calling you]

Good luck can’t be any more useful than right now, that you enter the restaurant’s restroom with your fingers crossed and an immense feeling of relief when you see every single stall open. 

And, as if on cue, the soft piano melody coming from your phone's speakers tells you that Hyunjin stuck up to his last message. 

“Are you busy?” It’s the first thing he says, with a hoarse voice and a hitched breath. 

“I’m at a restaurant,” you reply with just a little bit of shame in your tone. “With my parents”. 

Your boyfriend lets out an exasperated sigh.

“Shit I’m- I didn’t know, I’m sorry,” you can hear him panicking, maybe because he thinks you're upset. But in reality, it's all quite the opposite. “I’ll call you later just- forget I even- whatever, I’ll call you another time”. 

“No,” you rush to say, locking yourself into one of the bathroom stalls. “Don’t hang up, I can- I’m at the restroom”. 

There's a quick seconds of silence from the other line as Hyunjin gathers the remaining coherent thoughts after getting to hear your voice. “Is it- are there other people there?”

“For now it’s just me,” you reassure him.

“Just you?” He asks, and you hum in response. “I’m sorry for calling it’s just- God, I can’t spend another day without you”. 

The wet, sloppy slow sounds paired with the laziness of his voice can only give you a hint of what he is doing.

“Are you- masturbating?” 

It's not like you're a prude, but this whole thing is taking you by surprise. You're always together, so there's no need for phone sex or anything of that sort. Sexting isn’t unusual, but this is definitely a first.

“Yeah,” he replies with a raspy scoff. “Want me to stop?”

“No, I- no,” when you encourage him to continue, the lewd, wet sounds start to become more and more frequent —increasingly loud for you to hear them, “keep going”. 

Hyunjin lets out a deep sigh of frustration.

“Do you miss me too?” he asks, biting down his lower lip to prevent any whimpers from falling from them. 

“Yes,” with shortness of breath you admit. “I miss you too,”.

“Yeah?” He whispers under his breath, letting small grunts make their way to your ears. “I miss you badly. Can’t stop thinking about you- shit, can’t stop thinking about how pretty you look when you’re naked in my bed”. 

The compliments, all together, make your cheeks and body grow hotter. But inevitably, they force you to fix your gaze under the bathroom stall, in that little gap between it and the floor. There’s no sound nor signals of footsteps approaching, but the adrenaline of hearing him say such dirty things when you're out in public is definitely a new experience.

You can't say you hate it.

“Baby,” Hyunjin moans. And although you can’t see it, you can take a wild guess what he looks like right now: head kicked back, legs spread, his hand and dick glistening with lube, or lotion, or maybe spit. You can picture how pretty his face is right now, contorted in pleasure, with his lips all swollen from licking and biting them, eyes completely white while he bucks his hips up against his fist. “Talk to me, tell me about your plans for the day”.

You can’t help but laugh a little in the midst of the tension. 

“You want me to- talk about my day while you masturbate?”

“Well,” he scoffs under his breath. “I don’t expect you to say dirty stuff while you’re locked in a public restroom where anyone can walk in”. 

“Right,” you nod to yourself. “But I don't understand what that would do for you”. 

“I like your voice,” your boyfriend lets out a deep exhale of relief. “I can get off just by listening to it, doesn’t matter what you’re talking about”.

“You’re crazy,” a soft chuckle falls from your lips. “You’re not even going to pay attention to me”.

“Please?” you can hear a small whimper, and that alone convinces you. 

“Okay well,” you clear your throat before continuing, wondering how this could arouse him. But he is asking you something that is nowhere near difficult, so you comply. “I’m having breakfast with my parents right now”. 

“Aha,” Hyunjin hums, and if you play close attention you can hear his hand sliding up and down his cock. All you're left with is your imagination. “Keep going”.

“I will meet with a friend later, we’re going to grab some coffee”. 

Despite the weirdness of it all, there's something enticing about knowing he is using you, in some way, to get off. You're only talking about your day. But knowing your boyfriend is masturbating to the sound of your voice is arousing.

“Then I’ll go back home, get some work done,” you continue. “Think about you, think about how much I miss you right now”. 

The line goes silent, except for a mixture of gasps and groans. 

“You’re going to think about me?” Hyunjin asks, his silky voice sending shivers down your spine. “You’re going to touch yourself thinking about me?”

“Yes,” of course he doesn't expect you to talk dirty to him. But that never meant he couldn't say that kind of stuff to you. At that, you're at a disadvantage. No matter how turned on you're getting, there's nothing you can do about it and Hyunjin sort of feels thrilled because of it.

“You’re going to fuck my pussy with those fingers of you?”

God, how much you hate him for that. How he talks about your body as if it is his, reminding you that you belong to him and him only. 

You only hate it because it never fails to arouse you.

“Y-yes Hyune,” you reply, swallowing thickly. You're aware you can't say anything too obscene, but you still can engage in that kind of conversation without airing yourself too much. “Or should I- use something else?” 

“You packed your toys?” your boyfriend lets out a satisfied groan at your hum of agreement. You two are just so alike. “Which one are you using tonight, baby?”

“The transparent one”.

“The transparent one?” he thinks about it for a second, and immediately remembers which one you're referring to. “Thought you were going for the wand because it's your favorite, but I'm guessing you miss feeling full?”

“Aha,” you exhale. “Yes, I- miss it so bad”.

“You miss my cock stretching that tight pussy of yours?” At that, the wet movements become louder. “Stretch it nice and open for me baby, make sure to prep yourself every day for when you get back”. 

You bite your nails. “What’s going to happen when I get back?”

The answer is rather obvious, but you want to hear it from him.

“I’m going to make you come until you pass out,” Hyunjin bites his lips and kicks his head back, reminiscing all those times where you’ve come around his cock, fingers and tongue. “Make it up to you for all the days you've been away”. 

You can feel the pooling wetness in your underwear, the minimum squeeze of your thighs against each other is a constant reminder of it. 

“You miss my lips against your pussy like I do?” he asks, letting out a liberating gasp. “You miss tasting yourself off of me while we kiss?”

“You know I do,” you gulp loudly, caressing your lips with the tip of your fingers. God, how much you miss feeling his against yours.

They’re so soft, and velvety, and they know exactly how to kiss and bite you.

“I’m so close,” Hyunjin announces, and you feel your nipples hardening underneath your underwear at the despair in his voice. “I just- wish you were here, want to come all over your face, and body, make you swallow me full”. 

You want to say something, anything, but his words have much of a chokehold on you. You'll give anything to taste him, to kneel in front of him right now and open your mouth wide for him. 

You miss his taste, miss kissing him afterwards in between whines and grunts.

“I would grab your hair really tightly,” he explains, increasing the speed of his sounds. “I’d push my cock deep inside that pretty mouth of yours, have you gagging and drooling all over it”. 

Between his overwhelming words, and the loud sound of someone barging through the door of the restroom, you mutter a quick "can't talk anymore" before going completely silent.

“Honey, are you okay?”

Shit. 

You close your eyes, trying to focus on both parts: Hyunjin’s moans, and the way your mother is standing right outside your bathroom stall.

“It has been like 10 minutes, your father and I got worried”.

Your boyfriend lets out a teasing scoff, one that only you can hear.

“She’s asking you a question,” Hyunjin murmurs, still with a hitched breath. “Aren’t you going to answer?”

“I’m fine,” you rush to say. “Just- having a stomachache”. 

“Why didn’t you tell me? I’ve got some medicine in my bag,” of course she did. She always does, ever since you were little.

“Maybe you should tell her the truth,” the voice from the other line calls. “Tell her that you’re busy making me come”.

Immediately, your eyes open like plates and you wonder if the sound of the phone is too loud  for your mom to hear it inside the quiet restroom. 

“I forgot!” you snap, practically yell out loud. “I forgot you carried those with you”.

“Want me to bring them to you?”

You hear the faucet running, and Hyunjin chuckling slowly. At least she isn’t standing right outside the stall, but you’re still not at ease. 

“Y-yeah, please,” on the line, Hyunjin is waiting for the perfect moment to interrupt. 

Those two words are enough to send him to the edge. Despite the lack of sexual connotations, hearing you beg for anything it’s enough to arouse him.

“Ah, but I’ll have to bring you some water too,” your mother explains. “Maybe you can have it when you return to the table?”

“No!” You insist, all in an attempt to kick her away from the restroom. “Please, I need it right now. Please?” 

“Are you going to beg for me like that too?” Hyunjin groans through the line, not caring if anyone can hear him. Also not caring about interrupting your conversation. “Are you going to open your legs for me and beg for my dick like you’re begging right now?”

You almost choke on your own saliva, but the feeling quickly goes away when you hear your mother mutter an “okay, alright” before walking out the restroom door with a mission of easing your fake stomach ache.

“I almost get caught,” you gasp, only when a couple of seconds pass after she leaves. 

“Then hang up,” his shakily breath only tells you he is not that far from coming. Especially after hearing your voice again, pleading for whatever it was you were asking. 

“No,” you shake your head. “Want to hear you, please”. 

“Want to hear how I come for you?” he chuckles. “Want to her how I moan your name while I come thinking about how much I wish I was fucking you?”.

In a whisper, you hum quietly. 

“So dirty,” he is getting closer. “So, so f-fucking dirty. I can tell you’re enjoying this, even while you're out in public. Maybe you'll like it if i were to fuck you right there, while your parents wait for us at the table?”. 

You cover your mouth in surprise, trying to muffle a gasp.

“I would love to come inside you right now, pull up your panties and force you to spend the rest of the day with my cum leaking out of you,” he lets out another loud, choked groan before continuing to elaborate on the fantasy. “You'd be so wet, you wouldn't know if you're turned on or it's just my cum”.

“You’re insane,” you whisper under your breath.

“Yeah?” Hyunjin asks teasingly, slurring his words in between moans. “I know you are too, baby. I don’t even need to take a look at you to know you’re probably dripping just by my words, right?”

Damned him.

“And I know I’m not too out of my mind when I say you would let me fuck you right then and there, where everyone could hear you and anyone could walk in,” at that, the lewd noises increase. “Might even let me finger you underneath the table, right? Bet you would love to have my fingers deep inside you while you try to pretend you don’t”. 

“And I know I’m not too out of my mind when I say you would let me fuck you right then and there, where everyone could hear you and anyone could walk in,” at that, the lewd noises increase. “Might even let me finger you underneath the table, right? Bet you would love to have my fingers deep inside you while you try to pretend you don’t”. 

Oh you're definitely going to cancel all your plans for the day. Might even book an early fly.

Anything, just to see him soon.

“God,” Hyunjin exhales, and it’s between quiet moans that you realize he is coming. “F-fuck, ‘m coming so fucking much”.

You can picture it. His tone abdomen all glistening with sweat and cum, shining brightly underneath the dim light of your room. His cock is probably red, and swollen, and twitching while he overcomes his high.

Fuck, damned be Hyunjin for making you ruin your panties this early in the morning.

“So much,” he repeats, fingers trailing the lines of his abdomen as he collects his arousal off of it. “Too sad it went to waste, I would’ve preferred to fuck it back inside of you”.

“I hate you,” you finally breathe, both in relief and frustration. “I hate how much I miss you”.

“Then come home soon,” your boyfriend pouts.

And honestly? You might.

[themissinghand]

Genshin Impact: The Overworked God [2]

Part 1

Summary: In which one of the lore writers who help write the world of Genshin Impact was suddenly thrusted in the very world they created. 

Well, testing characters is one thing, but playing God, and raising 7 children at a time? 

Oh boy. He just wants to go home and sleep.

Note: Finally back from break!

Part 2 of the Overworked God! Creator! Male OC!

What if we had a smarter Creator that never forgot his initial wish of going home?

Warning: Genshin and SAGAU themes, some OOC and angst.

★・・・・・・★

Tempus, or Kai has been in the world of Genshin Impact for a very long time, since its creation where it was just him and Celestia. 

He struck a deal with Celestia, promising to be the Creator and consequently the God of Time to help create Teyvat, but on his own terms. Doing what he can to save his creations from unnecessary pain and suffering. 

So, he’s still overworked, stressed and sleepy all the time, especially now that he has to take care of 7 children too.  

But finally…today is the day he could finally go home. 

Home sounds foreign to him, after all, he spent more years in Teyvat than on Earth, but he has never given up on returning after fulfilling his duty as the Creator. 

It’s going to be a difficult announcement to make, considering how attached his children could be, but perhaps, he could twist the narrative just a bit to appease them.

“Tempus!” Speaking of, two bundles of mass hopped towards him as usual, and he caught them with both arms as if it was a routine. He stumbles a bit, sighs, but pats them on the head. 

“It’s been so long since you visited Monstadt! I missed you~” Venti hugged his waist as he peaked up with puppy eyes. Before Kai could respond, Furina beat him to it. 

“It’s because he likes Fontaine better! He’s been in my country the longest!” Furina quipped back with a proud expression on her face. 

“That’s because you suck at ruling your country!” 

“Says you, Mr. Drunkard Bard!” 

At least they both have trustworthy people like Neuvillette and Jean to take care of their country…

“That’s enough, you two.” A spark of lightning scared the two to cling onto Tempus even more, but Ei easily picked the two off. 

Ah, one of the more responsible leaders…

“Please ignore these two, Tempus.” Ei says stoically, as she sends a deadly glare that shuts the two up. 

“It’s fine.” Tempus greets every single Archon with a nod, before taking a seat at the head of the table, his expression showing his tiredness despite the light-hearted banter that usually happens during these meetings.

“Have a seat everyone.” All the Archons did a curt bow before taking their respective seats. 

Materializing snacks resembling that of an English afternoon teatime, he smiled when even the stoic Tsaritsa seemed to enjoy his food. 

It’s a shame though, this will be his last time. 

“Tempus.” He turned to the Tsaritsa, who seemed to notice his distress.

“I’m fine.” He brushed it away, before he felt a cold hand on his. 

“Let us know if anything is bothering you.” Zhongli added on, and Tempus shook his head. 

His children could handle Teyvat without him, what else would he be worried about? 

“Tempus, are your worries the reason why did you call us all today?” Sharp as always, Nahida asks, gaining everyone’s attention all at once. 

In the end…Rukkhadevata chose her fate. There are things that could not be changed…

“Yes.” Feeling everyone’s eyes on him, he felt even more estranged. 

"As you know, I've overseen Teyvat, guided you all, and tried to make amends for the mistakes of the past," Tempus continued. 

“After much thought, I believe it’s time for me to rest.” 

Multiple teacups fell onto the table with a loud thud. With a wave of his hand, the spilled tea disappeared. 

“T-Tempus! What, what do you mean?” Murata stood up abruptly, knocking over a flower vase, which Tempus easily dissolved to nothing. 

“Tempus, how could you abandon us!” 

“Calm down.” But it seems to have no effect, instead, he felt the cold hand squeeze his own, sending a shiver down his spine. 

“Tempus, you belong to us.”

“As I’ve said, I will be going into deep slumber-” Suddenly, many eyes shot towards the Bard who looked very pale. 

“-to take a break.” A teacup shattered, but Tempus paid no mind to it. 

“My decision is final, and I hope you can take care of Teyvat while I rest.” For eternity. 

“Tempus.” Scoring golden eyes burned into Kai’s soul, and he forced himself to remain neutral as he stared at Zhongli-Morax. 

“Please stay. I’m begging you, please, Your Eminence. Please don’t leave us.” 

"But what of Teyvat? You've become integral to the stability and well-being of this world, and us." There were many nods that followed. 

“We need you.”

There was desperation in his voice, and while it did hurt Tempus to leave them, he doubted he could stay any longer knowing that he could finally leave. 

“All of you are strong and are capable enough to rule your countries, which I am very proud of. Teyvat will be in good hands." Some Archons smiled briefly, but it was short lived. 

"Which is why it's time for me to step aside and take a break."

They had grown accustomed to Tempus's guidance, his wisdom, and his tireless efforts to steer them towards a better path, so for them to lose his support is like fighting without a weapon. 

“W-Where, will you be resting? In Temporium?” Furina’s shaky voice filled the silent room. 

“Stay here, the Fortress of Meropide will keep you safe. Fontaine and I will keep you safe.”

“Yes.” 

“For how long?” Venti asked, anxiety in his voice. 

“I’ll find you, I’ll find you no matter where you run.” 

“I do not know, for as long as my body needs.” Their faces became pale at thinking of the possibility of not seeing Tempus again. 

With a sigh, he stood up, making others rush to stand too. 

“Come here, each one of you.” In an instant, they rushed over and Tempus pulled them one by one into a hug. While he made himself tall and muscular, he felt small in the group hug that lasted an incredibly long time. 

He felt arms around his waist, chest, arms and back, being hugged by 7 people at once was somewhat suffocating. 

“You all will do great. I will miss you all.” This was not a lie. 

“Time flows like water, and perhaps I will wake sooner than you all expect.” This was a lie. 

Tempus heard sniffles, and felt hands grabbing his robes and weaving through his long hair. 

“Tempus…do you have to leave us?” Nahida asked, tugging his heart strings as he saw such a wise person tear up. 

Did she read my thoughts? 

Tempus got rid of that idea as he forbade her from doing so, and with his current power alongside Celestia’s authority, she should be blocked from doing such a thing. 

“I am not leaving, Nahida. I am merely resting.” 

Finally, with some coaxing, he managed to peel them off one by one. 

“I leave Teyvat in your hands.” 

With that, Tempus bid farewell to the Archons and quickly prepared to depart from Celestia. The longer he stayed, the more unbearable this would become. 

However, once he left, the atmosphere shifted once more. The Archons, loyal to their Creator beyond measure, exchanged anxious glances, and a heavy silence settled over the chamber.

“Tempus lied.” Nahida said, as tears rolled down her cheeks. 

“Nahida?” All of the Archons felt their heart drop at her words. 

“He may be resting in Temporium, but there’s more to it. I can’t read his mind completely, but…he’s going to leave us if we let him go.” 

“What are we waiting for then?” Suddenly, the atmosphere turned cold. The Tsaritsa stepped forward with her Ice scepter, Permafrost. Like many other Archon’s weapons, they were gifted to them by the Creator himself.

“If Buer’s words are true, then while his body remains in Temporium, his soul is elsewhere.” 

The Archons soon came to a consensus. 

“We cannot let him go into slumber.” 

Or they will lose him completely.

[Are you ready, dear Creator?] 

Tempus laid in his resting chamber on the edges of Temporium, in a makeshift mountain. He created this place in secret, so no one else by him knows. 

He felt bad for his kingdom, as he told the royal family that he will be gone doing his Godly duties for a long time, but never informed how long. 

Regardless, they should be able to live without a god, considering the technology and time Tempus gave them. 

[Yes]

As he lay in his comfortable bed with minimal decorations or other items, he shut his eyes and reminisced about the past. 

Although it was a very long time, he was never really alone. 

But he has seen much more than a normal human on Earth, from war to life and death, to the repetitions of stories by going back in time many times to fix his mistakes. 

“Stop him! He’s going back in time!” 

Truly, it takes a mental toll on his mind. He can’t let his emotions take over, otherwise, he would have to redo everything again. 

[Thank you for your work, dear Creator]

[Just make sure you fulfill your side of the deal]

[Of course]

When he shut his eyes, he felt safe, comfortable and oddly relieved, relieved of his duties at last. 

“Tempus!”  

His eyes snapped open and saw his chamber shake with vigor. All of his protective mechanisms activate, indeed, he prepared for this.

“Tempus!” 

Voices slowly became louder and the earth seemed to roar. 

How did they find him? Was it Buer? It must've been.

“Tempus!” 

There was desperation in their voices, and Kai assumed that they seemed to have figured something out. 

Perhaps honesty was better, but in the end, this was always the outcome. 

Yes, Tempus already knew that no matter what he did, the Archons would rebel, would seek him out.

Even if the walls seem to crumble, it did not affect Kai’s chamber, after all, it was sealed and protected with his powers.

But perhaps with a bit more persistence, they would soon destroy the mountain all together, leaving him and his chamber exposed. But, Tempus was not worried, after all, he had prepared for this moment too long ago. 

[Farewell, dear Creator] 

Suddenly, he felt a bright light engulf him as he felt incredibly sleepy. 

Through his blurred vision, he could see the stormy skies, and all seven Archons rushing towards him. 

“Tempus!” 

“You can’t leave us, Tempus!”��

Seeing them in their prime, in their Archon outfits was a little nostalgic. 

Hearing a crack in his chamber’s shield was somewhat surprising, but also, incredible. His children have grown up well. 

[Farewell]

With a fleeting smile, Tempus bids farewell to his second home. 

“Tempus!” 

His eyes close, just as the light takes him whole. 

“Tempus!” 

Morax and Murata pierced through the tough protective layers desperately, and Ei and Venti whiz past them to reach their Creator. 

But, they were too late. 

“No, Tempus is…he’s-” Barbados was crying as he held Tempus’s hand. 

“Kai! Kai!” Furina bawled her eyes out, calling his real name repeatedly as if it would bring him back. 

But he won’t come back. 

Bal held his body as she froze in shock (in regret), as if she was reminded of her past. 

“Tempus, you’re cruel.” Buer, the one who got them so far and so close but not enough. She knelt down beside him and cried while pressing his hand into her face. 

“You’ve left us with death, not slumber. You lied, you lied!” 

It was like they lost a part of themselves. 

After all, Tempus was there whenever they needed guidance, he sacrificed his own personal time to make sure they were alright. 

“K-Kai…” Morax stumbled towards the still body that used to be his friend, mentor, benefactor, love, and everything. 

Even in death, he was still so beautiful, kind and holy. 

Tempus was their everything. 

The Tsaritsa dragged herself towards Tempus with her scepter. She was known to not show her emotions, even when Tempus encouraged her to do so to stay emotionally healthy. He was the only one that saw her vulnerable side, and knew who she really was, and never judged her for it. 

“Tempus. How dare you…abandon us like this?” She stood by Tempus’s feet and her eyes did not leave his body at all. 

While others wept, her tears were turned into weapons. 

Murata stood by her with the same dark, solemn expression. 

It’s not fair. 

How could he treat them like his everything, and then leave them so abruptly? 

If only he could open his eyes again and say it was nothing but a terrible joke. 

But Tempus is gone, leaving his lifeless body as his final memory and gift. 

[kyokutsu-sama]

Sfw headcanons

A/n: I made more headcanons, these are for Yami and julius because I love them and they're also my favorites💜

_____________________________

Yami:

I can imagine a certain enemies-to-lovers romance with him. Firstly because he annoys you a lot (because he secretly loves seeing you mad) and secondly because he's rough with everyone. (He tries his best so he doesn't have to act with you like he does with others, I swear)

He likes to carry you on his shoulder whenever you both cross paths, even if you try to free yourself from him, his arm is too strong for you to run away.

He helps you with your tasks and if you're short, he won't mind reaching to higher places to get something you need. (Of course he will tease you later because of your height)

He likes to train with you, he will ask you not to hold back against him and come with everything. He will probably only bring you home at the end of the day so you can recover from the whole day training.

He will ask all the members of the Black Bulls to take care of you when you arrive from a long mission or when he leaves and you stay at the base.

No one touches you anywhere because he always has an arm around your waist or shoulders and a deadly glare in the direction of those who even try to get close to you.

"Try something with her to see if I don't cut you in half"

The katana is his second girlfriend and he always makes sure to clean and sharpen it. You can't help but laugh to yourself when you see him saying something to it as if it was a person.

He likes to take you out drinking and will be happy if you can handle the drink as well as he can.

He's also a gambler, so it won't be the first time you leave a bar next to a completely naked Yami after he gamble on all his clothes and lost. You will be even more embarrassed not because he is naked but because he normally walks down the street as if he were well dressed.

You guys ended up laughing your ass off that night about that.

Despite everything, he is very careful with you. He is always available when you are sick or injured.

If you are angry or stressed about something, he lets you punch him (But only you can do that) (Besides, he doesn't feel pain because his body is too strong)

If you have a problem that you think there is no solution, remember the famous phrase:

"Surpass your limits...And if you die, I'll kill you"

Julius :

Julius, on the other hand, is cuter and friendlier. So it would end up being a friends to lovers.

He will always be thinking of you as a priority and even if he has a lot of work to do, he always finds a getaway to escape and come to you and see you.

He obviously wants you to show him your magic and is proud of you for being so strong and dedicated as a magic knight.

He gives you cute names and even calls you his queen (Call me queen too, okay🥹👉👈?)

He likes to walk with you around the kingdom, always hand in hand. He doesn't hide his feelings in front of others and even if you are a commoner, he doesn't care. *Bonus: If you come from a foreign country like Yami, he will ask you to tell him what your homeland was like or things about it. He is a very curious man.

Julius always makes sure you're okay and if you need something because you're injured from a mission, he'll bring together a team to take care of you and if that's not enough, he'll send Marx to take care of his affairs (He'll kill him for that) and will stay by your side during that time.

He is very sweet and offers you gifts, even a simple flower he picked in the castle garden he will offer you.

"Y/n, look at this rose! It's beautiful like you, take it"

He's also protective, not deadly like Yami who kills another guy just because he looks at you the wrong way. HOWEVER, I belive that he has other methods for this person and trust me, you don't want to know. He can be dark and mysterious when he wants to...or when someone messes with his girl

He usually takes you to the top of the castle to watch the sunset while hugging you. (Oh my God, I'm going to die of cuteness)

[sanijoys]

It’s you, and it’s still you

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A continuation of this one Part 1 This is Part 2

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He was given a chance in life.

He was given a chance to bring back Mount Hua to its former glory. To show to many that Mount Hua is still as strong as it was before. However, he would often think back before all this, before the fall of his home, when his Senior Sister was still alive.

Were you still alive to watch Mount Hua being destroyed during the war?

Did you cry when you heard your sisters and brothers all died during the war?

Did….did you cry when you heard about his death?

The thought of your griefing form from the news of your precious Mount Hua burns his heart painfully. He has caused you pain even after death, but he’s here now. He’ll make sure to do right this time. He’ll make sure to make you proud while you watch over him in the heavens.

He remembered that he made one last promise with you. The promise in which he would return to you. But he never returned. 

-

The sounds of leaves crunched echoed through the peaceful path, their color similar to sunrise and sunsets. A Mount Hua disciple, Chung Myung, walked through the path as he holds a flower, 茶花, with care. 

He walked, admiring the leaves that fell from their trees. He remembered how his Senior would take him and play with the leaves. Both of them would get scolded afterwards but that was one of thousands of fond memories he had with her.

‘I ponder,’ he stopped in front of a tomb, ‘Would you still continue to play with me when you were withering away, Senior Sister?’

Chung Myung kneeled in front of the tomb, replacing the wethiring flower with the new one. The tomb that was made for you after your passing years ago before he was given a chance. Each passing day (when he had time), he would come to visit. Talking about anything, his day, his frustrations with the younglings, and everything.

Although it helped him be less stressed (ironically), he still longed for your real voice. The one voice that would comfort him with each turmoil in his life.

“Senior Sister, why did you have to go?”

His usual bustrious voice became a soft whisper, his voice filled with yearning. The yearn for his beloved Senior Sister.

“Excuse me?”

A voice, a very familiar one that he has longed to hear for so long. Chung Myung stood up so fast to face the voice. His action startled the person. A young woman.

“A-ah! You, you startled me there..! Haha…” She laughed while she put her hand on her chest, to calm down her frightened heart.  

‘Ah,’ Chung Myung could feel his eyes swell, ‘How I missed that laugh….’

The woman looked up at Chung Myung, giving him a smile. He could feel his heartbeat run faster than normal, and his breath being taken away. That smile. That same smile that he has loved.

“My name is (name), I am a lone traveler,” she continued, “I heard that Mount Hua, the once fallen Blossom, has risen again. And…I wish to learn their martial arts. Are you perhaps one of their Disciples, sir?”

Chung Myung calmed himself, as he smiled, “Yes, I am.”

Her face gleamed, “Then would it be fine if I could join you back to where Mount Hua is, Um…”

“Chung Myung…..Call me Chung Myung, Sister.”

“Chung Myung,” she tried. He could feel his heart skip, “Nice to meet you, Chung Myung.”

“Yes…It is nice to meet you too, (name).”

It seems that the heavens have finally given him a gift after all his sacrifices. They have given him the most beautiful treasure that he has longed for so long.

Looking at you now, he could still see the traces of you from the past. 

Past and present.

It's you, and it’s still you.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: I am still alive just writer's block and I need more requests. Song being used to inspire this story is Lana Del Ray - Chemtrail Over The Country Club Word Count: 647

[vanderlesbian]

141 dating a civilian

hii!! this is a self indulgent belated bday gift to myself (im 20 now...) but i hope u guys enjoy it!! also feel free to leave requests in my asks bc i am so bad at thinking of prompts but ive been wanting to write so bad LOL

writing this had made me realize that i love writing gaz content........i am obsessed with him.........

gn reader! no warnings :)

masterlist

captain john price

- price loves being around you—you bring a sense of normalcy that relaxes him. when he's home, he enjoys doing domestic things around the home. he offers to do the laundry, he'll make you tea in the mornings, he feeds the dog and cat you two raise together and will go with you on any errands you need to run. when he's with you, he never thinks about work, which makes you happy because you hate to see him overworking himself.

- i feel like you two would meet through laswell. a mutual friend, you and price would meet one another at a pub or something of the sort. immediately, the two of you take an interest in one another, and laswell would catch onto that rather quickly and finds it endearing. when getting to know one another, you mention the fact that you live alone, which gives price the excuse to hand you his number. "in case you need anything", is what he told you, and you could've sworn you saw laswell snickering behind him. regardless, you ended up texting him a few days after that, asking him if he knew how to fix cars.

- loves going on vacations with you!! when price has a decent period of time off, he'll ask you if you want to go somewhere, to which you always answer yes. road trips are his favorite, because driving for long periods of time is something calming for him and he enjoys the fact that it's just the two of you traveling. maybe you'll go camping, or perhaps you'll drive a country over to spend a few days in a different city; whatever it is, you and price always have a nice time. while he gets to travel a lot, he recognizes that you don't have the same opportunity, so he loves to take you places as see your reactions to things. when he's deployed, he's always on the lookout for places to take you later.

- one of your favorite things to do is visit price while he's in the office. you usually bring him a meal, whether it be home made or take out because you know he's going to forget about grabbing himself something to eat. he always thanks you with a kiss, then you linger for a moment to speak to him, giving him time to eat and take a break from his work. while you're visiting price, all of his attention is on you, and if a soldier knocks on his door and asks to speak to him, he'll use his captain voice to tell them to come by later unless it's an emergency.

- price is very proud to call you his partner. although he tries not to bring you up too often at work because of privacy and professional reasons, he likes to mention you casually every now and then, especially with laswell or the other 141 members. he's proud of the work you do, no matter what your career is; he's just likes to brag about his amazing partner. he will do his signature v shaped smile whenever someone says in surprise,"oh, your partner is a/n [occupation]? how cool!"

simon "ghost" riley

- ghost is a listener, not a talker. and boy, does he love listening to you ramble on about your day. he finds it cute; the way you complain how expensive your coffee was that morning, or how you couldn't decide what to wear to simply go pick up a snack from the store. his responses include a lot of "oh really?", "i bet", and some snarky comments when you bring up a coworker that you don't particularly like. ghost is quiet, but his little responses show that he's well invested in your stories.

- just like everything else in his life, ghost keeps his relationship with you very private. it took him quite a while to even tell any of the other 141 members that he was in a relationship, simply because he didn't feel the need to tell them. he also wanted to protect you; not that he didn't trust the other members, but he was scared of your name accidentally being said to the wrong person. you were innocent, and ghost didn't want to ruin that innocence with the dark realities of his job and put you in danger.

- listen; meeting him at a music store. you would definitely be the one to initiate things, so when you saw a tall, handsome man flipping through records beside you, it made you look for an excuse to speak to him. "that's a good album", you would then finally speak up after watching him pull out a vinyl by the doors. ghost would honestly be taken aback; no one ever really strikes up conversation with him in public. "yeah" would be his response, but the dryness of it didn't stop you from continuing the conversation. after you two begin dating, ghost will often bring up how you were insistent on speaking to him, which never fails to bring a shy blush to your cheeks.

- you think it's amusing to have such a "scary" looking boyfriend. he tags along behind you whenever the two of you go out, and you often forget how large and intimidating he looks to others, especially because he always wears dark colored outfits and a face mask out in public. imagine ghost lingering behind you like a lost puppy while you mindlessly look through clothes at a store. when you're at the register, you notice the cashier glancing behind you, forgetting that ghost is looming over you like a bodyguard.

- speaking of others reactions, you love showing ghost off to people. you'll be spending time with friends, family, coworkers—whoever, and you get so excited whenever they ask if you have a boyfriend. you think it's funny to see their eyes widen when you pull up a photo saying "this is simon, he's deployed right now but (blah blah blah)". you had asked ghost for his permission to show photos of him to others while he wasn't around, and at first he was hesitant, but after hearing about the reactions he gives people, he doesn't care anymore. people think "that's their boyfriend?", which makes ghost smile to himself because yes, he's all yours.

kyle "gaz" garrick

- you two have this thing where the moment he opens the door after coming home from a mission, you'll sprint into his arms and he never fails to pick you up off your feet and squeeze you tight. gaz greets you like he hasn't seen you in years, covering your face and neck in kisses and spinning you around in his arms for what feels like forever.

- loves to facetime you when he's away. sometimes you'll be in different timezones, but both of you will be willing to stay up at 3 in the morning jusst to talk to one another. gaz always gives you room tours of whatever place he's staying at while deployed, or he'll call you while he's out shopping to ask what souvenir you'd like best. sometimes the other 141 boys will pop in to say hello, or gaz will shove the camera in their face to ask if they have anything to say to you.

- i feel that gaz would easily become jealous, especially because he can't be with you all the time. while he's away from you, you'll text or call him about an encounter at work or while you were out and about where someone tried hitting on you, earning a snarky remark from gaz. they always make you giggle because you're aware how protective he is of you, and they're often silly remarks like "they're lucky i wasn't there" or "should've told 'em your boyfriend is 6'5 and a wrestler"

- gaz is younger, so i feel that you would be a university student or something of the sort when you first met him. working part time at a local coffee shop at the time, you vividly remember gaz complimenting you the first time you served him. "you're very pretty/handsome, by the way" he said confidently, but quickly walked off before you could thank him. after that, gaz came in as often as he could, learning something new about you each time he came in, and it got to a point where you would simply give him a drink or pastry for free each time he came in. eventually he would ask you out, offering to take you somewhere after your shift, to which you immediately agreed to.

- when gaz visits your place, it's always like a silly little sleepover. the two of you will watch comically bad movies, make homemade pizza, play those couple's card games and he'll listen to you talk about any gossip you have. when gaz is with you, he takes it as his time to just be himself because he's so comfortable in your presence. he doesn't have to worry about being formal with you, and the two of you are equally as silly as you spend time with one another.

john "soap" mactavish

- soap doesn't like to bother you with his work. when he's with you, he'll always be so upbeat and playful, but you've learned to be able to notice when he's particularly stressed or tired. he insists that he's fine, telling you that you don't have to worry about him as he tries to play it off. he's a bit stubborn about it, so sometimes you have to bother him just a bit before he finally gives in and tells you what's up, or simply agrees to laying down and having a rest.

- okay, picture this. you meet soap at a dog park. i think he would have a german shepherd...which is besides the point, but when your dog and his both stop in their tracks to be friendly with one another, both of you feel that it's only natural to make conversation, right? the two of you quickly hit it off, to which you credit mostly to soap for being much more extroverted than you are, and the two of you talk about your dogs for a bit before the conversation focuses on yourselves. smoothly, soap would ask for you to join him on another trip to the dog park sometime, using the excuse that your dogs seemed to like each other.

- soap loves to text you while he's away, and other than gaz, he would be the one to text you the most out of any of the boys. he mostly sends a lot of random pictures of things he says reminds you of him, but will also update you on a bunch of random little things he's doing. "just shit in this french bathroom" "johnny i don't need to know that" "had to tell somebody"

- will leave plenty of his clothes for you to wear while he's gone, and it's practically all you wear during that time. you'll leave the house in an outfit completely made up of your boyfriend's clothes because they're just so comfortable, and it makes you feel less lonely having his scent lingering with you. even when soap is home, you still constantly wear his clothes, and 90% of his wardrobe is practically yours.

- soap would love to visit YOU at work. you forget your chapstick? he's on his way. you text him that you're hungry and forgot to pack a meal? he's bringing you your favorite fast food. although he's busy and can't stop by all the time, soap tries to stop by as often as he can, and all of your coworkers have learned to recognize him. "here comes johnny" one of them will point out, making you quickly whip your head around to look.

[bangchanisinmymind]

dating habits

pairing; bangchan x reader; fluff-suggestive

Hugs : we all know his opinion on hugs and I genuinely believe he would hug you with the tiniest chance he have. Like when you stay with him at the studio he'll just make you sit on his lap and wrap his arms around you while you both listen to the new melody he made through the speakers (not really loud the whole situation is soft now <3). Or when you're both home and you're cooking or looking through the window he'll definitely hug you from behind putting his chin on your shoulder and you slid your arm down to his.

Kisses : I firmly believe he would kiss your moles. Since he found out you have those tiny dots all over your body he kissed whichever was closer to him. When he lays his head on your shoulder he kisses the one on your collarbones, when he kisses your lips he never misses the one on your chin, while he's going down on you he kisses the one between your breasts, on your ribs and tummy.

Taking care of you : he knows you skip dinner most of the time because of you being tired returning home so he always has a sandwich for you in the fridge and makes sure you ate it when he comes home. Also he wants to make sure you dress well so he gets you clothes from other countries when he's on tour he believes you'll like and sometimes when he returns home and you're asleep he picks out an outfit for you to wear in the morning <3

Sleeping : he always cuddle you to sleep ALWAYS. He absolutely adores when you use his body as a pillow, he likes it the most when you bury your face in his chest because he gets to smell and play with your hair (let's you hug his pillow when he's late :')n. Other than that he always makes sure you have set your alarm for the next day and brings a glass of water so if you need it throughout the night you won't have to go to the kitchen <3

Touching in general : when he drives he will put his hand on your thigh (FOR SURE). Always finds a way to touch you no matter who is watching, he doesn't mind being teased after you leave the room by his members or his family for telling you to sit on his lap when y'all are in the living room ( especially when there is not that much space or he thinks you might be uncomfortable).

Together stuff : he tries to match your showering schedule so you can "save water" together, it's not usually that hot, it's more like soft and sweet and taking care of each other :'). Lives for sleepover nights with the members because he can show all his love and affection for everyone (but mostly you ofc) and definitely feels like a proud dad having his loved ones all together spending time. Talking is everything for him, can talk with you all day about every single thing without getting bored but only loving you more every time

18+ : HEAR ME OUT. MAN LOVES YOU SITTING ON HIS FACE that's all I have to say. He loves to please you and see that fucked out look on your face after <3. One of his biggest kinks is being called daddy as known so he'll absolutely love it when you call him like that or refer to yourself as babygirl or something like "daddy's little girl" he might cum the moment he hears you. Loves seeing you in lingerie 🙈 he won't be very vocal about it but you can tell by the look of his eyes.

© @/bangchanisinmymind on tumblr | do not translate or copy my work without permission {feedback is highly appreciated! comment/DM for requests!}masterlist

[c-t-r-l14]

Kayson??

Are You Ok?

“Been staring at your face

From across the room now

You seem out of place.”

—————💙—————

Synopsis: Sometimes, Kayson is all you need.

——————💙—————

“You haven’t gotten a job yet? Just what the hell are you doing over there?”

You couldn’t help but flinch at the sharp, harsh tone that laced your mother’s voice. As the little beads of perspiration made their way down your face, you took a deep breath, and let a shaky sigh pass through your pursed lips. You tried your best to focus on the warmth of the gentle rays of sunshine, the shadow casted by the leaves hovering above you, or staring at the patches of sunlight that poked its way through the gaps.You tried to focus on the softness of the grass under your feet, or the intoxicating, overwhelming aroma of magnolia. But it didn’t matter how hard you tried to focus on the beautiful scene in front of you—you could feel the pit in your stomach getting deeper by the second, and the tremors that took over your hands didn’t cease. All you could do was tighten the grip on your phone and let the cold, icy feeling of regret seep into your veins—because you knew, somehow, someway, this was going to happen.

You should’ve let this call go straight to voicemail.

“Mama— I’m trying my best, but finding a job fresh out of college is so difficult right now!” You answered sheepishly.

“Well maybe you would’ve had one if you’d just simply applied yourself better!” She snapped.

You fought the urge to scoff and groan as pure annoyance took hold of your entire body. Usually, when she says things like this—you find it best to keep your face as neutral as possible, and answer her calmly. Usually, you’d murmur a weak, “Okay Mama, I’m sorry,” or a meek “I’ll do better,” and nothing more than that. Usually you’d let her speak her piece, and let her believe that you weren’t trying as hard as actually were.

But on this particular day, you were at your wits end.

It was bad enough that she thought that all you were doing was kicking back, twiddling your thumbs, and wasting time. It was worse that she invalidated all of your efforts and everything you’ve ever worked for. But the fact that your application was rejected from yet another job was just the icing on the cake. Pent up frustration and anger melted away the frigid ice that consumed your veins moments ago, and you decided to speak—not even trying to hide the pure irritation that took over your tone.

“Mama, you’re acting like all I did was slack off! I worked hard! I tried my best! I still am!”

“Well, you’re not trying hard enough, and you never have.”

“Are you seriou—”

“You have no idea how lucky you are to be in this position—to be in this country—to live this life. You have it so good, and despite all the sacrifices your father and I made to provide you with an easier path, you still can’t find it in your heart to do your best! Do you know what I’d give to be in your shoes right now? To live your life?? To be able to go to college? Your father and I didn’t have that luxury back home!”

“What about me? What about all the things I’ve sacrificed?? All the things that I’ve worked for?? I’ve spent hours of my life—hunched over at my desk—staring at nothing but books and computer screens in order to get grades to make you happy! Hours of my life I could’ve spent hanging with friends, or finding new hobbies—but instead, I sat there and worked my ass off for you! I did it to make you proud!”

“Well, do I sound proud to you?”

Anything else you had to say died on your tongue when you heard that. And the fire that once burned through your body fizzled out in an instant.

“You talk about the ‘sacrifices you’ve made’ but what would you know about any of that—lounging around on a couch that isn’t yours, eating food you didn’t even buy, mooching off of people who don’t even have your best interest at heart! Relying on that Kayson boy—who does nothing but enable this destructive behavior! You talk about all the sacrifices you’ve made but sacrifices only matter when you get the result you gave up everything for. But what do you have to show for all the ‘sacrifices’ you’ve made, huh?? Nothing.”

You felt your heart clench in your chest.

“The point of spending all of those hours studying was to ensure that you’d get a good job. I talked to Danny’s mother the other day and she told me that his younger sibling didn’t sleep for four days straight because they studied for the bar. And now, they’re a lawyer at a local firm. That boy they were dating got an offer to work at a big photography company in New York City. Your history teacher was 23 years old when he started teaching at the University. And you know what all of them have in common?”

You swallowed.

“They’re all around the same age as you are. They all sat by their desks—spending ‘hours of their lives’ slaving away at reports, essays, and homework—hours of their lives they could’ve spent doing something else, just like you did. But you know what the difference is between you and them?”

“I—”

“They have the luxury of seeing the fruits of their hard labor, and you don’t.”

“Wh—”

“You know good and damn well that if everyone back home heard about the way you turned out, they’d all look at you funny. Because here you are in a place where you have a chance—a chance better than them to live a successful life—to have a good job with a nice salary—and instead of seizing those opportunities while they’re still there, you’ve spent that time lazing around on a couch that doesn’t even belong to you. A chance they themselves could’ve—hell, would’ve used better than you.”

Your chest tightened as those words fell out of her mouth, and your mind went completely blank. You didn’t even know what to say in response. What could you say?

“Listen to me. Your father and I are sick and tired of waiting for you to get your shit together, (Y/N). We did not spend thousands of pounds to get you a proper education just for you to end up as a jobless blob living, sleeping, and eating under a roof you don’t even pay for! You either do something with your life, or you might as well give us our money back. The clock is ticking, (Y/N)! Do better!”

The line went dead, and all you could feel was the warmth radiating from your phone as it pressed against your cheek. You tried to focus on the smell of magnolia wafting through the wind, but that once beautiful aroma suddenly turned sour. And, despite the rays of golden that showered everyone that walked into its warmth, the world seemed a little darker, and a lot more colder. You looked out at the people sauntering down the grassy pathways, and the others lingering under the trees nearby, at the children running after each other, their mouths upturned and wide, the ends of their eyes crinkled with joy as the air was filled with laughter. You attempted to focus on the soft murmur of conversations of the people basking in the sun, and the chirping of the birds roosting in the foliage overhead. You tried your best to distract yourself from the sinking feeling in your stomach, from the absolute guilt that loomed over your head like a thick, gray storm cloud—blocking even the light peeking its way through the gaps in the leaves, or the burning pain that ravaged your chest.

You tried your best to breathe.

But those attempts were all in vain. Because no matter how much you tried to focus on sounds of the leaves rustling in the wind, they’d eventually be drowned out by your mother’s harsh words—the conversation playing in your mind incessantly like a broken record. It echoed in your mind, her angry tone cutting deep every time—opening up old wounds and insecurities you did your best to heal from. The guilt came crashing down on you like a deluge, sweeping away any semblance of serenity and peace within you—because the worst part was, she was right. You tried your best, but it wasn’t enough, and it will never be enough. You were guilty of wasting time—guilty of wasting money, of wasting chances—chances you were given so easily—that seemed like such a distant dream to your relatives back home. Your eyes burned with tears, blurring the view that once brought you calmness.With a heavy heart, trembling hands, and shaking shoulders, you started the long trek home.

You wanted nothing more than to crawl under the covers and curl into a ball, and cry until there was nothing left of you but a damp puddle—which will, too, eventually disappear.

….

Kayson hummed happily as he poured the bell peppers into a pot of ground turkey, dancing to an imaginary song while he stirred it carefully. He took a deep breath and sighed satisfactorily, pouring the marinara sauce in next. In a surprising turn of events, he was granted the rest of the day off, and he couldn’t think of a better way to spend his time than making your favorite meal for dinner. He placed the cover on the pot, eagerly peeking his head around the corner as he heard you enter, his lips upturned in a wide smile—ready to give you a warm welcome. But his smile vanished in an instant when he saw your bloodshot eyes, your red face, which showed an expression of utter dejection and defeat—and your posture, which was usually so perfect, so precise—ruined by the way you hunched over.

Despite your unsightly appearance, you forced your lips into a small smile and croaked, “Hey Kay. That smells amazing, what is it?”

He steps closer to you. “Perfect? What’s the matter?”

You flinched at that nickname. You knew you weren’t worthy of it. A fresh wave of tears came over you, and sob broke past your lips. In an instant, Kayson gathered you in his strong arms—holding your shaking frame gently as you fell further into pieces.

“Shh….It’s okay. I’ve got you,” He assured softly, his hand rubbing your back—his ministrations slowly bringing back the comfort you thought you lost in that park.

With ease, he led you to the couch—and soon enough, your face was buried in his chest, your body curling into his own—his warmth enveloping you, like a flame in the harshest of winters. And for a few minutes, you allowed yourself to fall apart in the sanctity of his arms.

….

You were reduced to quiet sniffles and shaking shoulders, but your chest—which burned with so much pain, and was crushed by the heavy weight of guilt—felt so much lighter. And, even though you were suffering from a massive headache and sore, red eyes, you were able to breathe again. You sighed heavily, sinking further in Kayson’s embrace as he tightened his hold around you.

And, with a soft, gentle voice—filled with concern and love, he asked you, “Are you okay now?”

You shook your head.

“No,” you croaked, your throat still sore from crying, “But hopefully I will be.”

“What’s got you so upset, babe? What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?”

Your lips formed a small smile, despite how much they trembled; and with a wavering voice, you told him everything. You told him about the rejection of your job application, the harsh and hurtful words your mother had for you, and how you felt like you were failing at everything you did.

“I don’t know what’s worse,” you sniffled—a fresh wave of tears filling your eyes, “The fact that she was right about everything, or that all of the time I’ve spent studying meant so little in the very end. Everyone else is so far ahead in their lives, and I’m just out here falling behind…”

“But that’s just not true! Every single day you get up out of bed and make the effort to find work! Every single day you keep applying, and interviewing, and doing everything you can to actually get a job! It’s not like you sit around doing nothing all day! You work hard, even now!”

“But—”

“Look, I know you think that all the work you did was for nothing, but that is the furthest thing from the truth. It was because you spent all that time studying that you graduated with honors! It was those sleepless nights that helped you graduate at the top of the class—it was all that effort you put into your assignments that got you those awards! You’ve graduated college, and were one of the most intelligent students in the class on top of that! Does any of that sound like “sacrifices made in vain” to you?”

For a moment, you paused—and let his words sink in. Doubt and guilt still swarmed you, its weight massive—its force excruciating, and painful; but despite the heavy load that burdened your entire body, you couldn’t deny what he just said. College isn’t an easy feat, and graduating with honors isn’t something to scoff at, either.

“No,” you murmured—your voice smaller, your tone discerning, “No, it isn’t.”

“Exactly. You’ve already accomplished so much in the short time you’ve been on this Earth, and I know you will go on to achieve so much more. And just because you aren’t where you want to be in life right now doesn’t mean that you will never get there, it just means you have to keep working until you do!”

The self-doubt that weighed you down like a heavy load—the guilt that once caused your eyes to fill up with tears—the pain that burned your chest, causing your entire body to ache, slowly but surely started to fade away as you processed his words. And as you saw his confidence in you—unwavering, relentless—like an untamed flame—the brick wall of self-doubt that had you sheltered in for so long—the wall kept you in the shadows, blocking you from the warmth of the sun's rays—slowly started to crack, and chip away.

“All this talk your mom has about how your relatives will ‘look at you funny,’ and how they would’ve ‘done better than you,’ doesn’t matter—because they aren’t the one who’s living your life. You shouldn’t let what other people would’ve done dictate the decisions you make. You wouldn’t be living your life otherwise—you’d be living someone else's. And even your mother wouldn’t know for sure what your relatives would do if they were living your life—because she’s not them. So, be kinder to yourself, babe! Everyone has their own path that they walk through at their own pace; that’s why it’s never okay to compare your progress to anyone else’s. Your time will come.”

He cupped your face, guiding you to look into his eyes, his loving stare meeting your gaze as a smile graced his beautiful features.

“And when it does, I’ll be right here.”

Your eyes welled up with tears once more—and when they fell, you were comforted by the gentle sensation of his thumb wiping them away. You melted further in his warm embrace, as you gingerly laid your head against his chest. His unwavering belief in you provided with strength you couldn’t have gotten anywhere else.

“Thanks, Kay. I don’t know what I’d do without you,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper.

He placed a kiss on the crown of your head, and tightened his hold once more.

“Anytime, Perfect.”

————————💙————————-

A/N: Good Ghandi, ya’ll. I’m SO sorry this took so long. I actually had this in the works since like—April, but I couldn’t for the LIFE of me finish it because as it turns out….writing for Kayson is kinda hard! But also, June and July were months that were just so damn busy for me, and I had such little time to write.

Anyway, I have a head cannon that Perfect is from immigrant family—mostly because in a lot of immigrant households, the parents put a lot of emphasis on getting a good education to ensure a good job. (My household is no different. However, I’m grateful to have parents who actually recognize my achievements, and would never talk to me the way Perfect’s parents do. Love you, mom and dad!)

There is a lot expectations and pressure put on Perfect to succeed, and it’s to the point where they just equate all of their self-worth to the things they’ve accomplished, and that really just reminds me of some of my friends who also live in immigrant households, too😭

Sometimes, you aren’t gonna be where you want to be in life, but that doesn’t mean you’ve failed or that all the hard work you’ve put in doesn’t mean anything, it just means it isn’t your time, yet. And everyone has their time.

And honestly, as long as you’re trying your best—that’s the only thing you can do. 💙

Masterlist

[serendipitous-imagines]

can i please request jjk gojo, nanami, choso, and geto getting the reader (any pronouns) valentines gifts? thank youuuu!!!!

aaa of course you can!!! i hope you enjoy!! i had so much fun writing these boys for the first time ever >:D

SATORU GOJO

✦ Gojo plans the most extravagant, week-long trip out of the country so that the both of you can just escape the craziness of the world and focus on one another. This includes booking first class tickets (or a private jet if he so felt like it) to a destination you have been talking about wanting to visit forever. ✦ Before you leave the airport, Gojo covers your eyes with a blindfold, with no end of teasing you and making comments like "you excited~?" and "have you guessed what i'm doin' yet~?". You have no clue what is going on, but you do not mind it at all, especially feeling Gojo's hands on your shoulders guiding you around. ✦ Once the blindfold is taken off, you see you are in front of a large vacation house with Gojo grinning largely at you. "Gojo, this is so--" "Perfect~? Yeah, it is~" Gojo extends his arms out, clearly proud of himself. "And that isn't all~" his sentence is punctuated with fireworks going off behind the vacation house. It is insanely extra, but with Gojo being the one behind it, it is sweet (if not a bit silly). ✦ After a 'relaxing' night with each other, Gojo wakes you up early with breakfast in bed and plenty of kisses. After breakfast and some distractions from Gojo, he takes you out into the city and gives you his card, saying "no limit on this card~ have fun~". He kind of follows you around carrying your bags, talking to you, and holding your hand. He loves being able to show you off to the public. ✦ "Hey, Y/N... I'm glad you came out here with me. I haven't felt this happy and free in years. I love you so much, you are the most important person in my life. Thank you for being my Valentines this year."

NANAMI KENTO

✦ Ideally, Nanami is the type of man to take you out to have an experience as a gift, but with the demands of work, sometimes he has very little time to plan something as extravagant as he wants to give you. You know some Valentine's dates with Nanami end up being the two of you polishing off a bottle of wine or two before retreating to the bedroom together. ✦ This Valentine's was different, Nanami was able to call in a rare favor to get the day off to surprise you with something completely different than what the both of you would normally do on the holiday. Nanami does not tell you about the good news, however, he wants to be the one to surprise you this time. ✦ When you get back home from work and picking up the Valentine's Day drink of choice you and Nanami had decided on this year, Chardonnay, you are a little surprised to see that your boyfriend is home before you are. "Nanami? You're home early!" Walking into the house, you are greeted by a smiling Nanami with a tux on holding your fancy dress clothes up to you. Getting past the initial surprise, you get all dolled up for your boyfriend in record time and the two of you leave the house quickly after. ✦ Your mouth is agape when you arrive at the town's restaurant, knowing exactly how hard it is to get a reservation on a usual night, and you could not imagine it was an easy feat to get reservations for Valentine's night dinner. Nanami guides you inside with his hand tightly holding yours, the two of you led to a table already set up with silver plates. Nanami ensures to pull your chair out for you to sit down in. ✦ Lifting up the silver tin in atop of your placemat, a gasp escapes you and your hands cover your mouth seeing the brilliant diamond ring sitting right in the center of the plate. Immediately, you turn to look at Nanami, who is on one knee beside you with a gentle smile on his face. "Y/N, will you make me the luckiest man alive and marry me?"

CHOSO KAMO

✦ Choso prefers a more intimate and small Valentine's celebration at home rather than going out. Even though he prefers to stay in and not face the Valentine's Date Dinner Rush, he does not hold back when he is decorating the house when you are out and about during the day. ✦ Choso worships the very ground that you walk on and the moment that you walk through the front door, there is a trail of rose petals leading to the bedroom, the whole house is completely cleaned and smells like your favorite scent, and an intimate red lighting is casted all throughout the house. ✦ When you get into the bedroom, Choso is standing by the bed with a little wrapped gift in his hands and is giving you a pretty smile that encompasses all of his love for you (accompanied by a small blush on his cheeks). ✦ When you unwrap your gift, you find a dark red velvet jewelry box. Upon opening the box, you are greeted by an incredibly heartfelt letter from Choso detailing his love for you. ✦ You also find a necklace in the box with a vial of a strange red liquid in it. When you look up at Choso to question him about what it is, you only feel his lips slamming into yours hungrily and the cool metal of the necklace being clasped around your neck.

SUGURU GETO

✦ When Geto asked you out of the blue if you had any plans on Valentine's Day, you answered that you had none immediately, assuming he wanted the company on the holiday. Honestly, you needed the company as well, Valentine's Day always reminded you how painfully single you were seeing all of the lovey-dovey activities and decorations around. ✦ Arriving at Geto's place, you were dressed in your casual clothes, sweatpants and a stained hoodie, and a grin on your face as you proudly held the two boxes of pizza out when the door swung open. "Dressed in your finest attire, I see," Geto teasingly commented to you in that all-too-familiar monotone voice of his as he stepped out of the doorway so that you could come inside. ✦ The two of you were sat beside one another on the couch with a movie playing on the tv. It was a horror movie because "what is less romantic than a horror movie" was Geto's reasoning despite knowing your fear of scary movies. Each jumpscare sent you nearly flying off of the couch and closer to the comfort of warmth beside you. ✦ It was only about half-way through the movie did Geto's arm slide behind you and wrap around the lower half of your back. Finally able to pull your eyes from the screen, you finally noticed that Geto was staring at you. Had he been staring at you the entire time? Your cheeks flushed as a nervous smile spread across your face, "Yeah?" you asked. ✦ "Do you want to be my Valentines?" was all Geto asked before he closed the space between the both of you, pulling you closer to him with his firm grip on your hips. Your hungry kiss in response to his was enough of a confirmation to Geto that you did in fact want to be his Valentines.

FANDOMS ~ MASTERLIST ~ COMMISSIONS ~ REQUESTS

[lovelytsunoda]

can't stand the rain // george russell

summary: the nights are always long and lonely when she misses her lover. but dating a formula one driver isn't easy, and she knew that when she started dating the most wonderful and exciting man that she had ever met.

pairing: george russell x female reader

warnings: longing and pining! the harsh reality that which would be dating someone like george russell, but there is a happy ending! allusions to sex, but not written out.

I can't stand the rain, against my window cause he ain't here with me//hey window pane tell me, do you remember how sweet it used to be? when we were together everything was so grand//now that we parted there's just one sound that I just can't stand

it was on nights like these that she missed george the most.

rain drops crashing down against the window panes, a steady haze of fog rolling across the english country side.

she hated that sound when he wasn't here to share it with.

y/n was sitting on the couch by the window, a scented bath and body works candle on the coffee table, burning and filling the main floor of the house with that simple, summer scent as she wrapped herself in a blanket, powerpoint presentations reflecting off the blue light lenses as she typed.

dating someone as magnetic and larger than life as george russell was no easy feat. the days and nights were long, the timezones too much to bear as his schedule demanded he jet off to some faraway country every weekend.

sometimes, it felt like her george wasn't actually her george, but the world's george.

she slammed her laptop shut, rubbing her eyes under her glasses before she turned on the tv, dialing in to sky sports as the warm up for the evenings race began.

if george were here, they would be watching some stupid movie on netflix (last rainstorm it was bait, a movie about tsunamis and twelve foot long sharks), with the plush calvin klein blanket pulled tightly around their bodies until one of them got tired of the film and started getting handsy.

something about the rain always got george russell going. those afternoons usually ended up with y/n on her back, georges gentle kisses against her skin as he made love to her, the pitter patter of the rain in the background.

she missed him.

the race ended, and she sent him a congratulations text, knowing that he did the best that he could in a car that wasn’t where either mercedes driver had expected it to be.

she blew out the candle, phone in the back pocket of her jeans as she moved to the kitchen of a house that felt too large for just her alone as she warmed up the kettle.

her phone rang, and she slipped the small device out of her pocket, beaming as she swiped up to talk to the most important man in her life.

“hey, beautiful.” george russell beamed from the other end of the line, and the other side of the world. “how are you feeling?”

“tired.” y/n laughed. “uni is relentless. remind me why I decided to go to law school?”

“because I wanted a strong, powerful girlfriend?”

“hilarious. it’s killing me slowly.” she grimaced, placing a bag of peppermint tea in her indigo mug. “you had a good race today, honey. I know the car is shite this year, but you’re driving the hell out of that thing.”

“you know what, I think I’m finally getting the hang of the car.”

“that’s really good, georgie. I’m proud of you.”

george smiled sadly, wishing that he could reach through the phone and hold his lover in his arms. every part of his skin, his body aches for her touch, for the feeling of cradling her in his arms again.

“I miss you. I’ll be home before you know it, yeah? you’ll wake up in a few mornings and I will be there and you’ll get to wrap your arms around me and we’ll make the most of the time we have before I have to go to the next race.”

“I wish it were easier. I wish I could come with you.”

“I know, sweetheart. I know.”

two days passed since that phone call, and the rain showed no signs of stopping. a few times the downpour has lightened to a manageable drizzle, but it was still as if the clouds in the sky were reading her emotions.

reading how much she longed for georges presence.

how she missed watching him play backgammon with his mates at the table by the french doors, sunlight refracting on his face.

how she missed his touch, even when it was the touch of his cold, cold feet in bed.

how she missed his cooking, even when he burned the simplest of dishes and ended up ordering takeaway (and swallowing his pride).

the weather outside reflected how she felt, but that fact did nothing to make her feel better. george was stuck in team meetings, despite the promise of a two week break before the next double header began.

she was debating the merits of going to visit her parents in the city, reconnecting with the world and getting away from her feelings and her term papers. it seemed like all she had done since george left was drink peppermint tea and pore over old court documents.

until the morning all was right again.

the sunlight was orange as it filtered through her curtains, the sun just beginning to rise over the hilly countryside. she heard footsteps, and the sound of the creaky bedroom door swinging open.

she’s have to to tell george to fix that.

george.

she didn’t believe her eyes. there he was, kneeling in front of the bed to kiss her forehead. she grumbled his name, trying to peel her groggy eyes open.

“I’m right here, darling. caught an earlier flight. there’s an iced coffee in the fridge for you.”

she smiled, reaching for his hand. “I missed you.”

“I know, love. can I join you?”

“you may.” she hummed, pulling the blankets back up over her shoulders. normally she would have loved to watch her boyfriend undress, but this morning she was far too sleepy to care about the sound of georges heavy hilfiger belt hitting the hardwood floor.

eyes still closed, she felt the mattress dip next to her as george slipped underneath the covers, taking her into his arms. she sighed contentedly, resting her head on his bare chest as the driver ran his large hand up and down her back.

“I love you, y/n.”

“I love you too, george william russell.”

TAGS

@daydreamingleclerc @libraryofloveletters @magnummagnussen @scuderiamh @sidcrosbyspuck @oconso @cl16version @cartierre @monzabee

[taeyongslaptop]

Weather you're a Nctzen or just a lover of kpop , HELLO!

I usually don't type too much when I post because there is no need too. But , I will this time. If you like my post's or follow me or reblog me , it could be for a couple of things. Either you are a die hard Nctzen ( like myself ) , Just love kpop in general , or the MOST IMPORTANT ... 이태용 better known as Lee Tae-yong has inspired you , saved your life , cured you with his music somehow or just made you happy on your saddest days.

Taeyong has done all of that for me. Including saving me from some of the most darkest times that I have exsperienced in my life. Taeyong has been my light for years now.He has dug me out of holes that I never though were possible to escape. And for that , I will be forever greatdful until the day I no longer walk on this earth.

I have spent countless hours crying and depressed that he has had to leave us for awhile. But , his manly duty to his country calls and I have tried hard to understand that. I knew sometime it was going to happen and I always dreaded it. I am the type of person who always thinks negative most of the time.e So , thinking of something happening to him whilst he is away on duty has drove me up the damn wall.

But this week once again , he has made me proud , feel safe and sound and content with his situation. Because , not only is he a freaking phenominal leader to his brothers and to us , he now will be the leader of his platoon! I can't express how happy this has made me. It made me feel that everything is okay. Not only is he doing his duty to his country , but of course he ended up being a platoon leader!

This is what he does. He takes the best of the worst situations and makes it into something of an amazing exsperience for everyong. Including us back home supporting him. I know feel more content then ever knowing he is a platoon leader. Because with Taeyong leading , nothing could ever go wrong. Now , I am no longer crying worrying about him while he is doing his duty. He has it under control and this was his way of letting us know that!

Thank youso much Lee Taeyong for being that light for me and im sure millions of other people. I love you , with all of my heart always and forever! Continue to be safe , in good health and LEAD!

Taeyong comes home Dec. 14th 2025 // Just in time for Christmas!

Counting down the days until Taeyong is home: 597

Our Nct L E A D E R & our PLATOON LEADER !!

[voidvannie]

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆꒰𝐈 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐀 𝐃𝐈𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐂𝐄꒱ ᯓ★

✦. ── 🎶they say to get out with the old, you get in with the new and i haven't been on a date since i was 22 my friend has a friend, and they say they're my type. 🎶how do i do this, kelsea ballerini

✦. ── pairing: auston matthews x kinsley baker

✦. ── in which: mitch comes home from an away game, only to have his fiancé tell him that her best friend has shown up out of the blue, and that leads kinsley to telling them she's getting a divorce.

✦. ── feel free to send in any request for things you want to see in this series, or in any of the other series on my page. Or if you just want to share some thoughts about what you read, or if you want to talk about oc's!

❪ 𝙹𝚄𝙻𝚈 𝟷𝟼, 𝟸𝟶𝟸𝟸 .ᐟ ── .✦ ❫

𝐌𝐈𝐓𝐂𝐇 𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐒 out a sigh of relief as he sits his hockey bag by the front door of his shared home with his fiancé, Steph. But he's both confused and concerned when Zeus doesn't run up and greet him like he usually does.

And he's equally as confused and concerned when Steph comes around the corner, hugging herself with a sad expression painted on her face.

"What's wrong?" Are the first words that leave his lips as he wraps his arms around the blonde's waist.

"Kinsley."

"Is she okay? Why didn't you call me?" Mitch asks almost a million questions, worried for his best friend's little sister, who had become like his little sister, "Where's Zeus?"

"He's on the couch with Kins. She showed up out of the blue with her suitcase and in tears." Steph mumbles against his chest, "It's bad this time."

"C'mon." He wraps his arm around her waist, moving them both towards the living room where he could see his dog lying next to the blonde country singer, who was wrapped up in a blanket that usually was thrown over the back of the couch.

Mitch frowns at the tear stains on her tanned cheeks. He knew that her marriage had been on the rocks, but he never thought that it would get as bad as it was to where she just showed up out of the blue without calling.

"She hasn't moved from that spot since she got here, and she hasn't eaten either." Steph tells him softly, running her hand through Kinsley's hair, "I'm gonna go make her something quick."

"Okay." Mitch nods, crouching in front of the couch as Steph heads towards the kitchen. He runs a hand through her hair, softly calling her name, "Kins. Kinny."

Kinsley's eyes flutter open, locking with Mitch's and her bottom lips instantly begins to tremble as she sits up and hugs him.

"It's okay." Mitch mumbles, hugging her tightly as she cries into his shoulder, kissing the side of her head. "It's okay. I got you."

The two stay hugging for a brief moment, Zeus between them before Kinsley pulls away from him, wiping away her tears.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to just show up out of the blue." She tells him as she changes her position so that she was hugging her knees to her chest.

"No, hey, it's okay." Mitch shakes his head with a gentle smile. "I'm happy you came here instead of staying like last time."

He moved so that he was sitting next to her. Zeus laid his head on his owner's lap while Kinsley laid her head on Mitch's shoulder.

"You wanna talk about it?"

A sigh leaves her lips, "Same as usual. We fought about the same stuff. He said some pretty harsh shit. I told him that I was the only one trying to make this marriage work. Got called a bitch, then told that I was giving up easy just like my parents."

Mitch listens to her, feeling himself grow angry at the Australian that she was married to, but her next words shock him.

"So, I told him that I wanted a divorce, and I flew here."

He turns his head, kissing the top of her head and wrapping an arm around her shoulders, "I'm proud of you, Kins."

"At least someone is. My dad was pretty angry at me when I told him." She mumbled bitterly, "Seems he loves him more than his own kid."

"Your dad always seemed like a dick to me."

"Mitch!" She throws her head back laughing.

"It got you to laugh!"

"Thank God for Mitch." Steph smiled, coming back with a plate and a wine glass in hand, "I made you a grilled cheese, and poured you some adult juice!"

"Ugh, I love both of you so much." Kinsley smiled, taking both dishes from her best friends hands.

Zeus barks, causing the three adults to laugh.

"But I love you the most, buddy!" She pets the top of his head.

"Would now be a bad time to ask if I could talk you up to some of the single guys on the team?"

"Mitch!"

"What?! Her and Auston would be perfect for each other!"

[marsosims]

hi, hello! hope you have a wonderful day and lots of fun with the new pack! i was wondering how to decorate/build in the new world to make it realistic bc i want to lean into the whole SEA flair without making too sterotypical i hope you know what i mean lol so some help from someone who's filipino like yourself would mean lots for me!!

Before I answer this question, I'd just like to preface that I am NOT an expert and I'm just sharing my personal thoughts and ideas :)

-

marsosims' tips to decorating tomarang builds

Use references. I think this is probably the most important tip that I can tell you. Use references, you won't regret it! Whether it's from google earth, Pinterest, or even drawings - you have a TON of reference materials!

Here are some illustrations: Top image is a still from the movie, "Hayop Ka!", Bottom left from Arlo Jhan Bayot, Right from Albert Tan

Here are some pictures - these ones are more or less middle class, but some shared characteristics between most of them are bright walls (usually cement, wood, and the occasional fake brick wall), fenced in yards (if you could call them that), wrought iron, and most importantly, plants.

PLANTS. GO CRAZY. SEA countries are located in the tropics, which means that they have very diverse foliage... SO like go wild if you want to (especially if building in the more rural part of Tomarang). People will also have a lot of potted plants, like:

(Bougainvilleas are usually a favorite - idk if the sims has any like it?)

OPEN LAYOUT FLOORPLANS. Most houses are open concept, and hallways for residential buildings are pretty rare in my opinion.

Another thing to note are dirty kitchens, which are basically outside kitchens that you do all of your cooking so that the smell doesn't stick to your things (this is important because as I said - most houses are open concept). Cooking inside is also pretty unpleasant because SEA COUNTRIES ARE HOTTTT.

Use tiles. With interiors, I'd say that it usually varies but a staple in most homes are tiled floors, because they are cool (not in a fashion way and more a literal way) and are resistant to floods.

I almost never see people have wooden floors unless the house was an ancestral house or the house is on the cheaper side (but even then, I usually see cement or tiled floors). If you do see some wooden floors, my bet is that they're one of those cheap linoleum / vinyl ones (idk what they are exactly)

I also never see people use carpets or rugs - probably a bit too much of a hassle to deal with (but they do exist!).

As for walls, they're usually just left as cement or wood. Wallpapers weren't all that popular until recently during the pandemic when people got bored and started putting up wallpapers ksdhbfsd

Use wooden furniture where possible! Plus points if you use glass somehow. Most things are wooden, and usually do not match with each other. It actually drives me crazy at home because none of the wood tones match, but it's comforting in a way. You can see an example of this on the image above. If things weren't made of wood, they were usually plastic :)

Display those trophies / certificates! Filipinos are VERY proud of their achievements. Feel free to display those trophies, certificates, etc. front and center of your homes, where guests can see them.

-

These are all the things I can think of! I'm sorry it's a little rambly kscfksdfh I tried my best o7

If you have any questions, feel free to shoot them my way. ALSOO I'd just like to reiterate that these are just based on my personal experiences and thoughts and not everything I say may not necessarily be true for every SEA person (or even Filipino). OK BYE

[inthewindandinthewater]

Sweet

A/n: Hey y'all, it's been a bit but you get the drill at this point, I leave and come back with a new obsession. You had to know the change in theme was there for a reason, so here it is. This is a series but per my usual will be verrrrryy slow to update.

Rhett Abbott (Outer Range) X Reader

Warnings: Cursing

No Use Of Y/n

⋆⋆⋆☆✦☆☆✭☆☆✦☆☆✭☆☆✦☆⋆⋆⋆

Sunlight streams through the open windows of your childhood bedroom, the sheer white curtains doing little to dull the shine and the thin french panes even less to dull the chirps of the swallows just outside. You roll over in a poor attempt to hide your face from the rays and catch just a few more minutes of sleep on this Sunday morning, unfortunately your mother has other ideas. 

You hear the door swing open and you can feel her presence, it makes you want to bury your head under the covers and never come out again. She stands in the doorway, hands on her hips impatiently awaiting your recognition. 

Eventually she gets tired of waiting, all you hear is heavy footsteps and a loud sigh before the covers are ripped away from you and suddenly you're grateful you opted to throw some shorts under your oversized t-shirt last night. 

“Come on now, we’re leaving for church in an hour and I expect you to look halfway decent.” Ever the charmer, your mother. 

“Ma..” You groan and try to yank the covers back over yourself, hoping she’d take some pity on you this once. 

“I don’t wanna hear it.” she says, tugging the blankets back off. “Should have thought twice before coming in at three am last night, Sugar. Now hop to it!” You sit up in bed, fixing her with a glare which she only returns with raised eyebrows and a look that says ‘you don’t want to argue with me right now’. You let out a huff and swing your legs over the side of the bed, your mother smiles victoriously and turns to head back down the stairs. 

You flop back down on your bed for a moment, thinking that maybe if you lock your door and pretend you don’t exist she’d give up on you. Unfortunately she’s been hell bent on saving your soul since you were a little girl and she had no intention of throwing in the towel now. Especially with your being back home unexpectedly. 

You decide that this is not a hill you want to die on this morning and stand from your bed, stretching your limbs and running your hands through your hair… or at least you try, the leftover hairspray and unbrushed mess you’d left it in last night had made stubborn knots that likely needed a shower to comb out. 

Making your way to the bathroom you pause in front of your full length mirror, the one you’d been so excited to pick out in seventh grade. It once had a bright pink frame that had now been overtaken by stickers and polaroids from middle and high school. Once cherished memories that now only brough reminders of who each of those people had become. Your eyes flit over the images, one of you and your best friend Milly Kinders who had gone off to college for film production and had since moved out to California to try and make it big. She was working as a PA now on some TV show that you hadn’t watched more than a few episodes of, she didn’t call as often anymore so it wasn’t like you had to keep up with the plot anyway. 

Moving on to a picture of you and Maria Olivares at her senior night, each girl on the basketball team had picked a junior to present them with their flowers and medal of achievement. You’d felt so special when she’d picked you to be her underclassman, the two of you are smiling in the photo, not a trace of tears that fell later in the night when the realization set in that she was actually leaving. She’d gone off to school to be a veterinarian, the whole town was very proud when she got into one of the best programs in the country and she was sent off with so many well wishes and high hopes. Not unlike yourself five years ago. 

You sigh, looking around the frame once more before heading to the shower just before you’re stopped in your tracks by a polaroid with a scrap of paper taped to the bottom. It’s a dimly lit photo, one that hadn’t developed quite right due to the lack of light. Nevertheless the edges of the polaroid are worn and it’s not taped to the frame like the others, instead it's stuck between the frame and the glass for easy removal. The photo shows the silhouette of two teenagers sitting on the open tailgate of an old truck in front of a bonfire. The girl in the photo, yourself, has her head leaned on the shoulder of a much taller boy. Scrawled across the torn paper at the bottom in barely legible writing is ‘have a good summer, Sugar. I’ll see you around- Rhett.’

You stare at it for a while, your hand itches to reach out and snag it from the mirror's edge, to feel the soft age worn edges of the photo between your fingertips once more. 

“Sug, I don’t hear you moving!” Your dads shakes you from the thought. “I am!” You yell back, grabbing your towel and stepping into your ensuite bathroom. 

⋆⋆⋆☆✦☆☆✭☆☆✦☆☆✭☆☆✦☆⋆⋆⋆

Church wasn’t much of an event in Wabang, but it made your mother happy, or at least content for the time being, that you went. So every sunday morning, give or take a few years, you sat in the middle row and listened to the pastor drone on and on about shit you didn’t believe. 

It wasn’t that you didn’t believe in a god or a higher power of some kind, it was more that you didn’t believe that this old man in bum fuck Wyoming was a expert on an all knowing power. If the Earth was just a blip in time and space then how could we have uncovered the secrets of the universe or did God reveal them to American white men to be his devine mouthpiece? Yeah, right. 

It was all you could do to keep your hands clasped over your knees, mouth shut, and your eyes from rolling. Eventually the service would come to a close, the invitational sent and the prayers said on knee at the base of the pulpit and this chore would be over for yet another week. 

Part of you wondered how much emotional, or showmanship, brought these people to cry on bended knees every Sunday. How interesting, or boring, does one's life have to be to have a new gut wrenching sin or tragedy each week. You suppose you would never know, life was astoundingly quiet for you Wabang. 

⋆⋆⋆☆✦☆☆✭☆☆✦☆☆✭☆☆✦☆⋆⋆⋆

“What did you think about the service, Sug?” Your father spoke around a mouth full of mashed potatoes. One thing that made Sundays more bearable was the spread your mother would slave over after church, her cooking was the thing you missed most about this town while you were away. 

“It was good, I thought brother sawyer sounded better today” You say, pushing the food around on your plate and hoping that answer was satisfactory. To be completely honest you couldn’t remember a thing from the sermon, but you did remember that one of the choir singers, brother Sawyer who only held his place in the choir after his cancer diagnosis due to sheer pity and his status as a deacon. 

“I think so too, you know he’s had such a hard time of it but I’m glad he seems to be on the up and up, Louanne seems lighter too.” Louanne, his wife, used to teach Sunday school. She’d been your favorite teacher and you couldn’t count the number of pictures you had with the woman before her husband was diagnosed, she was mostly quiet these days. 

“I really hope so, she deserves a break” You mumble, pushing the food around on your plate, losing your appetite to the memories, an occurrence that seems more and more common these days. 

“Sugarbear, would you mind taking this pie over to the Abbotts today?” Your mother breaks the silence after a while, you hadn’t even noticed her clear the plates from the table and place the pie in a heat bag. 

“The Abbotts?” You say back, your voice sounded a little dumb in your own ears.

“You didn’t hear? Joy closed Rebecca’s case today, suppose they aren’t interested in looking for her anymore. 

Rebecca Abbott. 

You knew she’d been missing for quite a while but you hadn’t realized it had been long enough for them to stop looking. You’d gone out to the ranch to watch Amy while the search parties traversed the expanses of both the Abbott and Tillerson ranches looking for even a scrap of her existence, but nothing ever turned up. Your mother had always been close with Cecelia Abbott, even since they were kids growing up in Wabang, which was an even smaller town then than it is now. When Amy was born you couldn’t get over her, only ever seeing her on Sundays when you visited on weekends. When she was older and you came back after college Rebecca had asked you to sit at Cecilia's recommendation, you adored that little girl and it tore you apart to see her ripped from her mother so young. 

“Yeah let me change and I’ll take it over” you say, pushing your chair back. 

“Why don’t you wear your dress? You look nice.” She’s smiling at you with that knowing grin, it makes you want to bolt up the stairs as quickly as possible. 

“Mama..” you warn. She just smiles back and the stalemate starts while you try to muster the courage to fight her and she firmly stands her ground. Your father sits at the table, shifting his eyes between the two of you and awaiting further action, you swear you can hear maracas and an eagle cry in the background. 

“Are the boys still trying to get that fence fixed?” He asks seemingly no one, “I thought they had a tore up stretch. Royal was wanting to get it fixed before they moved pastures.” 

You shift your eyes to him hopefully, a beat of silence. Your mother sighs and hands you the bag, you drop your shoulders and take the compromise. You would wear the dress if there was no chance you’d be seen in it by an Abbott other than Cece. 

⋆⋆⋆☆✦☆☆✭☆☆✦☆☆✭☆☆✦☆⋆⋆⋆

The drive out to the Abbotts was boring as all hell, but the anxiety of pulling up the drive was even worse. A few familiar trucks sat in the driveway and a dirt path up to the porch almost made you feel like you were back in highschool. 

You knock on the door only to be greeted by two things, the last person you felt like seeing and the reality that your father was a dirty rotten liar. 

“Hi Su-” 

“Rhett” 

Well now you feel like a bitch. Rhett’s half grin fades at your greeting and he looks off to the side, chewing the inside of his cheek. 

“Uh, sorry.” You mumble, shaking your head as if to reset your thought, “Hi Rhett, how ya holding up?” You offer him a little smile. 

He looks back at you, his face a little more neutral now, “I’m alright” he smiles back but it doesn’t reach his eyes, it’s cold and unfamiliar enough to set a bad feeling in the pit of your stomach. 

You snap out of your thoughts and hold the pie out to him, “My mama wanted to bring this over, I’m sorry about the news on the search for.. Well” 

This couldn’t get worse, good god. 

He takes the pie from you, staring at the ground. “Thank you” is all he says. 

You know you should just go, but you can’t help but ask. “How’s Amy?” 

His eyes meet yours again, and it’s almost like some of the warmth of return to them, he knew how much you loved that little girl after all. “You know, better than I expected” He says, and you swear you see him smile a little, real this time. 

“She’s a tough kid.” You say, smiling to yourself at the thought. “If y’all ever need anything more than a pie, you got my number” You offer. 

He looks back at you

There’s something in the way he looks at you. It’s somewhere between questioning and sincerity but it’s there and you can’t help but hold his gaze for a moment before nodding and turning to go. 

“I’ll keep that in mind, Sugar”

As you climb up into your truck and close the door you look back at the house, just soon enough to see the door close all the way. 

[useless-catalanfacts]

HI! Love your blog a lot!!💛❤️

I have a peculiar rant to make!

There are many motorsport events happening in Barcelona during the year, and they are often called "Spanish Grand Prix", and they are portrayed as the "home races" of people usually from other parts of Spain (most times these people are rich blokes from Madrid with links to Vox). I'm not Catalan, but that makes me so mad. It's once again the erasure of an entire history and culture. English-speaking media don't even make an effort to understand where they are, they are just happy to call it Spain and wonder why they're playing two anthems before the actual races.

But anyway, visca Catalunya i bona diada dels Països Catalans!

Thank you very much!

Yes, I completely agree with you that it's annoying. It's a way for the Spanish state (and every other state, because this happens to other occupied nations as well) to use the sports for propaganda and to cement the association "Catalonia=Spain" in the minds of everyone from around the world who's watching.

If I may, I will answer to your rant with another rant of my own. In general, most sports tend to be very state-centered. For example, for most sports you can't be a professional athlete unless you sign up for a specific state to represent it, wear its flag on your clothes while you compete, play their anthem if you win, the teams must be organized according to people who come from the same state, etc. And if you don't have one, then, bad luck, you either do it for the state that occupies your homeland or you don't get to become a professional sportsperson at all. But even if you have your own independent country that you identify with, still... why so much focus on it? Why is where these people come from so important that it becomes even more important that the person? Imagine if people did this with any other aspect of the athlete's background or identities: "Twilight fans won 5 gold medals this year, and Marvel fans went down to only 3". Or imagine if we did it by sexual orientation, conservatives would be so mad saying "why do you have to wave it in everyone's faces!?". All of those would be ridiculous, so why isn't this strong focus on what state they come from also ridiculous? It would seem more logical to focus on person, school/trainer, or teams that they could choose according to how they view the sport or how they think training works better or work better together. But we seem to just accept that the state (not even culture or nation, just a geographical-political administration unit) is the most defining trait.

That's why I personally never liked the Olympic games or world cups, it feels like it's more about nationalism than about sports. I used to follow them when I was young but I always felt like the gymnasts themselves weren't recognized enough because all the media was focused on "how many people from our country won", or "this sport was won by [country]". And Spanish media does this a lot, to the point that I think they are disrespectful to the sportsperson. Why do all Spanish people have to feel proud or like they won the games because someone from their state achieved something, but not when someone from another state did the same, even when someone from a state might be geographically closer to some parts of their neighbour state than other parts of their own? It's not like the random citizen who is supposed to feel like he himself won the games did, maybe he spent the whole competition eating chips at the sofa (that's me btw). It just never made sense to me. And even less for team achievements like F1 or MotoGP, where they play the anthem of the state that the pilot is a citizen of, but so much of that victory is owed to the rest of the team who worked on making and improving the car/motorbike, so it's a team effort but the anthem of the state of only one of them is chosen to be given the victory to. It makes no sense!

And if you're hosting on a city, it's the same. What does a state's anthem even have to do with an F1 racing? Why is it even there? Show the city and the area around it if you must show something, after all that's the people whose taxes are going to pay for that sport and whose lives are going to be inconvenienced by it.

Because that's another thing, events like the F1 race inside Barcelona (not on the actual track, when they made them fake-race on the street Passeig de Gràcia, afaik they were not even actually racing because the velocity limit was too low), the America Cup, etc contribute so much to worsening the worst problems of the city (touristic massification, gentrification, poverty, and pollution). For the America Cup, the neighbours of the Barceloneta quarter have to use cards that identify them as residents to be allowed in their own neighbourhood because that whole neighbourhood has been kidnapped by the America Cup people. And the F1 fake race thing in one of the busiest avenues of the city was very annoying to the citizens, too. It meant cutting a significant amount of the city's traffic, including public buses, and collapsing part of the metro system as a result. Some of my co-workers had difficulties arriving to our workplace that day because of it. Just so that cars can show off inside the city and pollute it, skipping the city's laws that aim to reduce air pollution by banning people whose cars pollute more than a certain amount (which in practise means old cars, the ones that poorer people are more likely to have). We can't use our cars in the city unless we can afford a green model, but they can cut off a whole avenue in the very centre of the city, asphalt it new just for them, and race there when they already have a track made for them to race in.

It's all part of the capitalist obsession with uncontrolled growth, they want everything to happen here for more and more people to come. Not just with sports events, but anything that will be used as an advertising for the city. Like the Louis Vuitton catwalk that was happening this month in Park Güell (a UNESCO World Heritage Site btw) and which damaged part of the architecture. Until now, the hotel lobby was the main promoter of many of these events because they wanted more tourists, but even the hotel owners are now saying that this has gone too far and the tourism monoculture model has become absolutely unsustainable and is ruining the city.

Don't get me wrong, sports are important and we need to support them and promote people practise sports, and it's good for entertainment purposes and we have to support people having fun (that's what life's about!). But the model that professional competitive sports use needs to be completely rethinked. I think every city that has gone through the devastating experience of hosting Olympic Games will agree with this.

Anyway, that's just my opinion and what you pointed out is definitely more offensive, but when I stop to think of it I can't but see how it's all.... not great. Sorry for getting out of topic but I have been personally very annoyed by these sports and fashion events this month.

Thank you for your message and your understanding, I read it on the Sant Joan but I'm answering late. I hope you had a good diada dels Països Catalans and that you're having a great beginning of summer 🌞