#and unfortunately I don't think I'd ever be able to play nicely with someone with preconceived notions of their music

[unjest]

sometimes I like to look on genius lyrics to remind myself how people are sooooo wrong about the themes and motifs in everything everything's music

[miserable-sarah]

The Date

Pairings: Sam x Reader warnings: None Requested: Hello! Your fanfics are sensational and I get lost in your stories, especially Sam's. I would like to ask for a story inspired by dandelions song between Sam Winchester x reader, very cute and romantic.

~

You look at yourself in the mirror for the 10th time, you fix your dress, you fluff your hair, you stand there and practice your smile. You don't like the way your hair looks, you think your make up could look better. You sigh and flop on the bed.

"You look fine!" Cas whines. You have him 'trapped' in your room so he can tell you if you need to change anything but he's getting annoyed because you don't believe him anyway.

"Sam told me to dress nice." You tell Cas, you sigh again getting off the bed. Cas grabs your hands.

"Y/n, you look perfect. I promise."

"Thanks Cas." You smile at him "You can leave if you want." You giggle. Cas leaves the room, you look at yourself again and take a deep breath. You're not sure what Sam has planned your dates are usually casual sometimes when it's an important date they're a little fancier. You walk downstairs, you see Dean and Cas sitting down at the table talking about whatever.

"You look great!" Dean says smiling.

"Did Cas tell you to say that?" You smirk at him.

"Wh-what!? Of course not!" Dean chuckles

"Okay." You tease "Thank you."

"Sam gave me this." Dean hands you a letter, you look at it confused and open it. 'Meet me at the first spot I laid eyes on you.' You smiled to yourself knowing where to go.

"I'll take you." Dean says hoping out of his chair walking up the stairs, you follow behind him.

"We have to go to the beach." You say getting butterflies. "So, what's he planning?" You ask Dean. You know Sam is up to something and you know Dean knows.

"I don't know." Dean says quickly not moving his eyes from the road.

"Dean.. I know you know."

"No, no I don't." He says matter of factly.

"you're not going to tell me?"

"I wouldn't even be able to if I wanted because I don't know."

"Fine." You cross your arms. You're not against surprises you love them, it's just you're so nervous and you don't know why. Sam is the best boyfriend you've ever had, he cares for you deeply, he pays attention, he helps you when you're down, he cheers you up, he makes your days so much brighter, he is your forever. You honestly don't know where you'd be without which scares you but makes you feel safer with him. You know he would never do anything to hurt you. You can't believe how lucky you got, someone was listening to your wishes.

"We're here." Dean stops with a huge smile. When you get out of the car your body is shaking you're so nervous. You don't even know why. You can see lights lighting up the walkway, you smile at how beautiful they are. You slowly walk down a few stairs and walk on the path, you see rose petals spread out everywhere, you can't help the big smile on your face, your heart is pounding in your ears.

You see Sam standing by the beach with flowers in his hand, theres a table set up in the sand with champagne waiting to be popped. You can hear Dandelions by Ruth B. being played in the background. You smile and walk towards him.

(Song)

"Sam, this is wow." You say not even having words. You gasp loudly when you see Sam get down on one knee.

"Y/n Y/L/N" He starts, he pulls out a little black box "I saw you here 2 years ago, the moment I saw you I knew I wanted you to be mine. I knew I had to have you. I got so shy walking up to you I stuttered just saying hello." You both giggle. "The look in your eyes when you saw me, it was nothing I've ever seen. From that day we've been best friends, unfortunately I was scared because of my job and that held me back, but you reassured me you'd be fine by tactling me to the ground." You laugh again. "And at that moment I knew I wanted you for the rest of my life, I knew you were the one for me, I knew I'd be forever happy with you in my life so," He opens the box revealing a beautiful ring inside. "Y/n, will you please marry me?"

Your hand is covering your mouth, you have tears flowing down your cheeks. "Yes! Yes!" You squeal with excitement. Same carefully places the ring on your finger you can hear Dean and Cas cheering in the background, he hugs you tightly swirling you around.

"I can't believe we're engaged!" You kiss him, he kisses you back passionately. "I love you so much, Sam."

"I love you more than words can describe." Sam pops the champagne and hands you a glass. "To the future Mrs. Winchester!" Dean joins in on the toast. You smile to yourself just think how lucky you really are. You are going to marry Sam Winchester.

[old-school-butch]

Thank you for having anon on, you must get a lot of hate, but i'm a hidden recently deprogrammed ex-TIF and i appreciate being able to... confess to being a woman without being hung for it. i know that when i come out with this i will lose most of my friends because my detransition will "invalidate" them all. they will push me out so they can remain "gay men".

i wanted to ask what you think about ex-TIFs? and if you've seen how it plays out when we (re)integrate into womanhood, from the side of women. i've only seen it from the side of TRAs and it's an excommunication and violent rejection. i'm going to lose my community, and i have (since i started looking into it) fully agreed with most radfem core beliefs you see here on tumblr.

i took testosterone for years, but i also stopped in 2019 because it made me so angry. i have no breasts and a deepened voice. i wonder how radfems might see me. will i seem like a returned traitor?

will other women be interested in me still? i'm bisexual, but was pushed to mainly date men as a TIF because those relationships were "gay" and dating women was hetero and "lesser" love. i don't want to center men anymore. but i have no breasts, and i have no woman's voice. do women care? i don't know.

i ask you because you are older and maybe you would know. my best wishes to you. thank you.

I keep anon on for just this reason, because I remember how insane I felt when I found the courage to stop pushing aside those thoughts that, surely, everyone knows we're making all this up and just being nice, right?

It's an unfortunate part of human nature that it's easier to con someone than persuade them they've been conned. Once the con is taken up, it's agonizing to admit it and pull away from it. You have to live with the harms you've done along the way, which I admit to and which will eventually weigh on you as well. It's not easy, especially when your immediate friends will be harsh with you. If they don't cast you out, you might find yourself self-isolating to pre-emptively remove yourself and spare yourself the pain.

I'm not going to lie, you will encounter women who regard you as a traitor because they, themselves, have not come to terms with the harms they've done, or they've been lucky enough to not have been tested on this crucible and can't believe that anyone can be turned so upside down as we have.

However, you're not alone. I have no statistics but in meeting younger lesbians I'd guess at least 1 in 3 of them are detransitioners from varying stages of identifying as trans. If you are same-sex attracted or gender non-conforming in any way, today's society will digest that as 'trans?' and without saying a word you will find yourself being they/them without ever asking, and transition will be suggested if you suffer from so much as a bad period cramp or any frustration with your body. As women and as lesbians, we experience so much pain that society ignores, and the most powerful articulation of that anguish in our time is 'this can't be the body I'm meant to be in.' Like anorexia, dissociative identities, cutting and other expressions of female despair, we are permitted to lash out destructively as long as we bring down that rage on our own bodies. We continue to inhabit these scarred battlefields long after the fighting has moved on.

I guess the main thing to know is that you are not alone. In fact, I suspect that the 'part of my story where I was convinced I was trans' is going to be part of the coming-out pantheon for lesbians in the future that is as common as having a crush on a straight friend and have the talk with your parents. I don't think having breasts or a deeper voice will condemn you to loneliness, I don't think anyone can blame you for what's happening or being swept up in it. If they do, you can ask them why they didn't stop you, why their voices didn't reach you when you needed it most, and why - now that you've found your own way home with very little help from anyone around you - they aren't appreciating the courage and effort it took for you to find your way.

Welcome home, sister.

[doctorbrown]

Alright I'm doing it.

Obligatory ramble about Doc's 'character' songs in the musical because I just saw it again and I'm so deep in my feels post.

I don't know how to be clear and concise so you're just forced to take what I come up with in the thrown-together, haphazard way I know how to get the words out.

'It Works' is absolutely one of my favourite songs on the album, but I'm not diving super deep into it because while it is one of the few songs Doc 'solo' sings, it's not exactly a character song; it serves to introduce the DeLorean time machine to Marty at Twin Pines Mall and highlight how over the moon he is to have invented one of the most impressive things of all time, something that finally works.

Though I need to say I feel so validated for the line It's a car for the stars like Captain Kirk's because I imagine Doc is a huge Star Trek fan and he and Marty definitely watched it together.

Also, his I never really thought I'd get to see how well it works! also gets me because while in the film he doesn't really get to see that until after the events of the film have played out and the Lone Pine timeline is created, in the musical it is he who is the world's first time-traveller, taking the car five minutes into the past and then appearing in the parking lot of Twin Pines Mall shortly after Marty shows up, his experiment complete.

'21st Century' is such a big, flashy number and it's the very first song of Act II, right after intermission. The set looks 24th century futuristic (which I imagine the 21st century would look like to someone in 1955 at the time) and mimics the bridge of a starship; even the backup chorus/dancers are fashioned after robots/androids.

This entire song and sequence is, ultimately, revealed to be a dream that Doc has during the week of Marty's stay in 1955 and the reason this song means so much to me is because it really nails one of Doc's core traits; it's his hope and optimism he has towards the future and everything that it could hold. He wants to believe in humanity as a whole despite all the things he's been through, he believes in their success as a species and knows they could go on to create amazing things.

Imagine what we'll see in the 21st Century!

Just think of what we're gonna find! A world that's gonna blow your mind!

Everything in that song that Doc sings about is positive and hopeful; one might also say childishly naïve. A future post-capitalism, where money and greed which are two large factors responsible for so much hardship and ruin are things of the past. Flying cars, vaporising trash (hello Mr Fusion), eradicating hunger and war and suffering—

It's the kind of future Doc has always hoped to see. What he wanted to help build with his inventions. While recognition and fame is nice in theory, in practice, I think Doc would hate being constantly in the spotlight, because we've learned he's very comfortable doing his own thing and being avoided. To be thrust in the public eye would be very suffocating and invasive and uncomfortable.

But if he were ever able to properly patent and sell any of his inventions, he would've been contributing something good to society.

Doc isn't the cynical type, but he is acutely aware of all the terrible things that go on in the world around him. He wants the good to outweigh the bad, wants to see positive things in humanity's future.

Doc's entire purpose for building the time machine, beyond his deep obsession with time and the chance to say I did it, it works! and make arguably the largest scientific breakthrough of the century, is to see and catalogue the fate of humanity after he's gone. Where we've been, where we're going, the pitfalls and the promise. Maybe even an answer to that universal question: why?

'21st Century' just perfectly captures Doc's creativity, imagination, and optimism. Unfortunately, the real future doesn't quite turn out the way he'd hoped it would.

And then there's 'For the Dreamers' which, truly, is a beautiful and fitting song for Doc. In the musical, this isn't a big, flashy number. It's slow, sombre, yet hopeful all the same, and it takes place in the garage in 1955 after Doc's revealed his plan to run a cable across Courthouse Square to harness the lightning and the small model 'DeLorean' goes up in flames. Marty's less than optimistic about his prospects. There's a single spotlight on Doc as he sings to Marty and it's very obvious that he's singing about himself here.

Sometimes, failure and setbacks are an unfortunate and inevitable part of the process, no matter how hard you try. You can put your all into something and never see a return on it. Doc knows this better than anyone. Even now in 1955, he's well acquainted with the bitter taste of ridicule and failure because he's a man with big dreams who is unafraid to pursue those dreams to their end, whatever they may be.

And this plan of his to get Marty back to 1985 is an extreme long shot. Everything needs to happen precisely on-schedule, for nature waits for no man and even the slightest delay will rob the kid of his future and leave him stranded here indefinitely. Doc needs to balance learning enough about this invention he hasn't created yet in order for the lightning rod plan to work with not learning too much about the DeLorean's construction, as he still needs to allow his personal timeline to unfold as largely unaltered as possible for risk of creating a major paradox that could potentially unravel the space-time continuum.

So this one's for the dreamers who live on inspiration, go as far as they can take it even if they don't quite make it...

And I know what it's like to be misunderstood. And I know how it feels to be told you're no good. But I couldn't give up. No, I never would.

But people just took advantage of me. My distractions just consumed me.

Doc's always been a man of big dreams, ever since he was young. He was never the type to fit in, found himself on the outside, much more interested in the sciences than people. He embodies the very spirit of inventor. He's a dreamer, an idealist, a risk-taker, driven and full of ambition.

So this one's for the dreamers who have the guts to risk it. To take a chance on what they think. Can't stare them down 'cause they don't blink.

Ridicule or call them out, no one sees what they're about.

Doc's reputation is firmly established in Hill Valley; he's willing to take the risk for the things he believes in, and this has branded him a lunatic, a dangerous crackpot, a mad scientist, earned him the scorn of his neighbours—people will see what they want to in him and others like him and there's no changing their minds.

But you can't give up. It's difficult trying to make a change and if you dream about making that big breakthrough, you have to stick it out until the very end. Put your mind to it and do it for all those who have tried and couldn't.

With so many failures up until this point and with his only real success, if you'd choose to call it that, being the work he did on the Manhattan Project, it's looking grim. The brainwave analyser, something he put months' work of research and development into, turned out to be a disappointment.

Now, though, he's got proof that all his dreams aren't just nothing; that he really is something and if nothing else, he has to do it for this kid.

This one's for the dreamers like me.

At the heart of it all, this song is very much the start of Doc's you can accomplish anything if you put your mind to it. Failure, success, does it really matter if you give up in the end? And that's something Doc just can never really do.

[whitherwordswither]

Logs from the Starfields, VI

Captain's Log #0.06:

What… what day is it? I don't even remember.

I never made it back to New Atlantis. I… ended up in Neon. Always tried to steer clear of the place but. I needed fuel and. Well. I'm still hunting for just the right ship and I figured I'd check the shops for some new gear and weapons.

And then the whole thing turned in to one exhausting blur.

Neon is a mess. It didn't take me long to figure out all the little working parts. The guard is corrupt. The ruling body, whatever his name is, is a scum lord. And there are numerous gangs. All the while there are some honest merchants and folks trying to keep their shit from falling apart.

Back on New Atlantis I'd submitted an application for Ryujin Industries for gits and shiggles. Didn't think I'd actually be walking straight in to an interview. Right off the bat, I don't like the head woman I'm talkin' to. I can tell this is a no bullshit shade-throwin' shitshow from a mile away. But I play nice. Pick up a coffee order for all the execs. Then get assigned a job to tamper with a competing companies computers. I head over to the other place across the station, just to scope 'em out. If they were another awful sort of place I could see doing the job… but. They ain't. In fact, the receptionist there is one of the nicest gals I've met. She points me to a local mining company that is having trouble and… well. I end up helping them out. I end up helping out just about every merchant in the strip, actually. They're all fighting to band together and push back against the corruption around them. I admire that.

I leave Ryujin hanging. I… I even join up with one of the gangs. Now, hear me out. It ain't my kinda thing but. This particular gang, they used to run the place. Be the top dogs. Sure, they stole, but they didn't kill. They were an unfortunate side effect of the way Neon works. They do what they do to survive. But the new gang that moved in and took over? They hurt people for fun. So… I sign up with 'em simply to put a stop to the psychotic new gang.

Our last move against 'em, security shows up. Gives us all an ultimatum. The gang gets to swap their street colors for security garb. I can see what's gonna happen here. Luckily, because I've helped cull the badder seeds, I get the chance to skip off on my merry way. Which works for me. I was just there to take out the worse trash.

My persuasion skill has been getting a heck of a work out, let me tell ya.

I leave Neon for a brief run to pick up some medical supplies for the local facility. Seems Bayu, the shitlord of the whole place has been blocking shipments and taxing incoming loads specifically. It's ridiculous. So I offer to run some supplies on the down low. The clinic here is just trying to help people.

Bayu is a piece of fucking work. I get to meet the man himself. And boy, do I wish I could just punch his face off. He keeps the local street drug on the market for profit and to keep people addicted and stupid. I hope to hell there's some way I can remove him. He seems to be the root of all this nasty business and it would do a lot of people some good if a reform came along in the form of a… well…

Lets just say if someone flat out paid me to snuff the bugger, I'd take the job in a heartbeat.

Maybe one day…

Anyhow. Shit. I feel dirty. Like I ain't ever gonna be able to wash the stink of that hole off'a me. Felt like I had to be a different person there. And I didn't like it. After doing what good I could do, I needed a break. I made it back to Akila. I really do think I'm going to end up settling down here. This city has its quirks, pros and cons. But I like the vibe. Its got a community feel to it. I respect it.

Davis and Keoni are actually speaking to each other now and working as a team of sorts. Still prickly around the edges but it's nice to see they understand the common goal. Keoni has been getting some off readings and Davis has been seeing more indications in his patrols of things not being right. I head out with him to investigate more and sure enough. We run in to a bigger breed of Ashta. An Alpha. Luckily, I've got a fancy new pew-pew machine and take it down before Davis can even get off three shots.

He's thankful he invited me out. We both head back to town and I pass along the info to Keoni so she can further calibrate her data. They both are looking forward to learning more and figuring out how better to protect the city. As it should be.

After that I finally decided to learn a bit more about the Freestar Rangers since that sheriff thought I'd be good material. As a test, they want me to take a job from the board and do some proper Ranger work. Blastin' unjust spacer trash? Shit. I'd almost say ya don't even need to pay me!

The target is in a system I ain't been to, so I've got to jump slow and map out new territory. This brought me to a couple very interesting encounters.

The first was a weird, huge, but weird ship in orbit around a resort planet. Communications are all sorts of scrambled so I let them know I'm going to be docking. Turns out… this is a 200 year old colony ship that left Earth before Grav drives were moved from theory to production! And they just arrived at this planet. They have their sights set to settle here and want my help convincing the current owners to leave. That's a tall order. I say I'll negotiate and do what I can.

Down to the planet I go.

Nice atmosphere. Very tourist-trappy. Not my kinda place. Run by a bunch of prissy, rich execs who are only looking for profit. Ugh.

You should have heard the options they gave me that would be acceptable resolutions to the matter! I almost wanted to blast 'em all as they sat in their chairs. One of 'em was at least concerned with the natural beauty of the planet, but the other two? Rotten apples, through an through.

The only decent soundin' option and the one I ultimately went with was to pop over to another system entirely and speak with a specialist engineer who had a penchant for older tech. Even had a grav drive he could help retrofit. The only catch? I pay for the drive. Well. I ain't about to let a colony ship full of people be indebted servants to some stuck up assclowns. So fork over the money for the drive and get it back to the ship and help the engineer there install it. A nice portly man. I'd love to shoot the shit with him more.

Now, how the captain of the ship had spoke before… it sounded like they weren't gonna take no for an answer about giving up this planet they had their sites on. But apparently being given the option to pretty much go anywhere now has shifted that perspective. Which is fantastic. I was really hopin' to not have to persuade anyone to do anything on this excursion. I bid them farewell and let 'em go on their way.

Continuing my jump to my bounty target I come across two ships in combat. One hails for help and since the other is just Ecliptic pirates, I help blow the ship apart. Then they ask me to board. Weird, but hey, if they want to thank me in person…

Trim's Rules of Space Travel #48.5: If something feels off, roll with your gut. But I boarded anyway.

So, what do you get when you cross three Ryujin Operatives and one Sentient Shipborn Anomaly? You get two aggravated Ryujin Operatives, one dead Ryujin Operative, something near an A.I. that just wants to live and… me. Face palming.

Sometimes I wonder how my life got so… so… I don't even have the words.

Whatever. Since I'm still technically a Ryujin Operative I used that to my advantage. Except these two chucklefucks want me to attach a circuit board to the ships computer so they can get control of the A.I. … I can already see where this is gonna go. And I ain't about to let some shady ass corporation like Ryujin have… whatever the hell this is.

I spend some time conversing with Juno, the sentient… whatever she/it is. Another piece of old-Earth that became something entirely new. From some records I found around the ship it seems that Juno was initially sent out to survey Jupiter, report its findings, then terminate by flying in to the sun. Well, it missed the sun by a margin and instead got catapulted out in to the depths of space and somewhere along the way, the base code evolved and… now we have Juno. Who is very much… to me… a sentient entity.

The reports lean toward believing Juno to be lying when it says it does not feel emotion. There's even a whole log dedicated to how it formulates it's responses and what certain words it uses preceding speech mean.

I don't bother trying to persuade the two operatives. I just shoot them. Ryujin is a ruthless company. Juno deserves to live how it sees fit. I don't gel with the thought of enslaving anything.

Juno has questions. I try to steer it in the spirit of learning, doing good and exploring and finding its own path. We part ways.

I… need a break, man.

I make it to the planet where my bounty is supposedly holed up. I landed a ways away from the abandoned facility so I think I'm just going to take some time and relax. Get my head on straight. Lord knows its been pulled in all sortsa conflicting directions these last few days.

Starting to wonder if that's still me in the mirror, y'know?

Almost makes me want to drink.

Almost.

End log.

[baekhvuns]

Rip Baek, they wanna make you an American football stan 🤡 I never understood Super Bowl tbh, some performances aren't even good anyway

Lol you're saying the Mbappe x RM saga will finally end? If he plays and behaves well be my guest, but it's on sight Kylian!!!

It's always sad seeing top players struggle in the NTs, because they're doing all the work. The disproportion is really big. I can't blame other players since a lot of them don't play in CL clubs, but it's so embarrassing sometimes 😭

So brother Baek could've been a cricket star?! Omg damn that injury sounds nasty though. I don't know shit about cricket actually. Tbf my wrist was already twisted because of another evil team ball sport called HANDBALL. My spaghetti arms couldn't take it lolol, I'm decent at basketball though! I did break two of my fingers while playing, but 😅

Pique thinks he's a spy or a detective trying to "expose" RM every 4 months, let it go... I can't believe Shakira got with him, girl??? I had to show some of the best football moments to my ignorant USA friend and I ofc sent her the Zidane headbutt and Suarez biting, culture <3

It happens every year so I don't think Salah cares? Good for him, but on the other hand I'd just stop posting at this point, cause the comments are getting worse and worse

Harry Kane being a disappointment isn't anything new lmao. Believe it or not, but I unfortunately have some Spurs fans among my friends and they're often mad at him

Omg, yeah see suddenly everyone knows everyone. Bestie I don't go to weddings, but I probably heard the songs you've mentioned, got me all curious 👀 Riverdale was filmed near you?! I'm so sorry, that's so bad 😩

Is the Yunho fic hot & cold too then? How's it going?

Hwa is a mystery, because no way he wouldn't be able to take Hongjoong down. Sometimes he does this though, soooo 🤔 runner Hwa AU... I'm manifesting

I hope Hwa will be able to attend EXO's concert 🤞🏻 I wouldn't mind a free ticket either, heh. Uhmmm wow, Neymar Jeongin stan... I better not see him at EXO World though

That radio clip of Seonghwa, I'm starting at nose ☺

Seonghwa stans Taemin and Taemin is Jesus, Taemin has passed his role to Seonghwa! But why did Woo say the choreography is tough, but Hwa said otherwise lmao. Maybe Seonghwa isn't doing anything 😭

Btw this person spoke the truth a fear, but they're booing them ausyshshjsjsjsbababsb. If they saw our opinions ☠ can't say shit on that app, because everything is anti behaviour

Halazia on the other hand seems nice, at least in contrast to Paradgim, idk if I'll be obsessed cause I'm used to them spoiling half the song so I'm not sure how I feel yet ajuduwuwsjjsjssjs, but everyone's already calling it SOTY ofc 😭 the performance spoilers what's going oooooon, feathers?! My issue is the cb is at 6am my time AGAIN???!!!! What happened to later comebacks, fuck America I know it's all for Billboard!!! 😭

LMAO gitl, so someone asked if the person on my lockscreen was my girlfriend??? And it's Christmas kitty Hwa I almost died

Oh he... yeah so anyway 🧍🏼‍♀️🧎🏼‍♀️

ALSO MINGI'S HAIR IS YELLOW AND RED AGAIN AAAAAAAA

Wait what's the god save the queen option about 😭 anyways I'm a communist, honestly I got called one more times that I can count so 🤷🏼‍♀️

Oh no Baeksy, HUI ON BOYS PLANET AS A CONTESTANT??? HE GOT RELEASED FOR THIS?! 😭😭😭😭🔪🔪🔪🔪 - DV 💖

hi helloo!!

Rip Baek, they wanna make you an American football stan 🤡 I never understood Super Bowl tbh, some performances aren't even good anyway //// Lol you're saying the Mbappe x RM saga will finally end? If he plays and behaves well be my guest, but it's on sight Kylian!!!

LMFAOOOO 😭😭😭 u will never catch me being one <3 id probably get whooped if i ever put on the american football in this ethnic household fbwndbej,,,, i AM SAYING PERHAPS partially bc at psg he gets the recognition and if he were to move it,,, he’d have to share it the spotlight but since he gets his fair share of it psg iM HYPOTHESIZING that he will not leave unless ronaldo pulls up that is dbd  

and also pelé??? 😭😭🤚🏻 vivienne westwood???

It's always sad seeing top players struggle in the NTs, because they're doing all the work. The disproportion is really big. I can't blame other players since a lot of them don't play in CL clubs, but it's so embarrassing sometimes 😭

yEAAAH! it’s cringe to even watch, i skipped so many of porto’s matches bc of it inconsistency in the plays and the ups and downs,,, if i compare them to argentina u could tell they all worked in a TEAM even if they got messi in, for porto it was like ronaldo was the only one being the definition of TEAM but when he’s benched it just crumbled,,, but i guess a lot of them have an experience now and hopefully put up a great fight next wc!

So brother Baek could've been a cricket star?! Omg damn that injury sounds nasty though. I don't know shit about cricket actually. Tbf my wrist was already twisted because of another evil team ball sport called HANDBALL. My spaghetti arms couldn't take it lolol, I'm decent at basketball though! I did break two of my fingers while playing, but 😅

fhandhwk nO bc we were REALLY onto him being one but then everyone kept pressuring him saying you’d be on tv and then the ball hit his nose and made a bump on it and it was determined he would never <3 dbwnbdsn no its ok cricket’s like football, if u watch it u can tell exactly what’s going on! LMFAOOOO GTFO HANDBALLS SO MUCH FUN HOW THE FUCK DO U FUCK UR WRIST UP PLAYING THAT ANON U MUST BE TWISTING IT AND HITTING ALL THE SCORES 😭😭😭 ronaldo + lewa possessed u i tell u, STOPPP??? ANON??? I WISH U SAW MY FACE WHEN I READ THAT 😭😭😭 anon hOW stop did the ball jam really hard and ur body just gave up 😭😭

Pique thinks he's a spy or a detective trying to "expose" RM every 4 months, let it go… I can't believe Shakira got with him, girl??? I had to show some of the best football moments to my ignorant USA friend and I ofc sent her the Zidane headbutt and Suarez biting, culture <3

NO SRS I WONT BE SURPRISED IF HES SOME TABLOID SOLELY MADE TO EXPOSE RM 😭😭😭 no bc theres like compilations of shakira destroying pique’s emotions and its so funny to watch after the shit he’s done, deserved 🤩 RBQMDBWMCKCK STOP U SHOWED THE BEST THINGS STOP IT FNFNJCKC CULTURE !!!!! CORRECT !!!! literally no one remembers the winners it’s just the headbutt, he def cursed italy ever since dbdb did u show the pep ramos duo 🔫

It happens every year so I don't think Salah cares? Good for him, but on the other hand I'd just stop posting at this point, cause the comments are getting worse and worse

yeah!! like i get religion but ppl also celebrate christmas,,, AND halloween?? it’s not like he’s disrespecting his own religion?? bro just wants to have a good time 😭😭😭 he's having a great season so far too now!

Harry Kane being a disappointment isn't anything new lmao. Believe it or not, but I unfortunately have some Spurs fans among my friends and they're often mad at him Omg, yeah see suddenly everyone knows everyone. Bestie I don't go to weddings, but I probably heard the songs you've mentioned, got me all curious 👀 Riverdale was filmed near you?! I'm so sorry, that's so bad 😩

LMFAOOOO i believe it 100% bc my english cousins were like “disappointed but not surprised actually” 😭😭 omg u must’ve heard his songs! if u didnt go to a hindu wedding bdbd if u watched the movie happy new year? with srk, there’s a track called lovely i think he produced it, he’s worked w/ mr snoop before! tho is songs are primarily from early 20’s! YEAH TRAGIC !!!! ABSOLUTELY TRAGIC I TELL U, constant memories of im a weirdo 🔫🔫

Is the Yunho fic hot & cold too then? How's it going? /// Hwa is a mystery, because no way he wouldn't be able to take Hongjoong down. Sometimes he does this though, soooo 🤔 runner Hwa AU… I'm manifesting

it is hot & cold! banter and silly arguments and a reincarnation of betty white as yunho’s grandmother like the proposal <3 yEAH LIKE NO WAY??? is he just masking his strongness under the humble, nice, oldest persona,,, need him to throw hands,,, runner hwa au,, where he asks the ostracized, once track prodigy for help who shuns him away <3 readers older too!

I hope Hwa will be able to attend EXO's concert 🤞🏻 I wouldn't mind a free ticket either, heh. Uhmmm wow, Neymar Jeongin stan… I better not see him at EXO World though

I HOPE HE DO BC IM EXPECTING HIM TO BE THERE 🔫🔫🔫 BFMWBDKSBDKCKC free ticket is what im hoping for atm bc ik im not getting the tickets 😭😭 they do a raffle thing too all my hope is for that,,, FBWMBDWKKCKC  neymar a kai stan?? 😵‍💫😵‍💫

That radio clip of Seonghwa, I'm starting at nose ☺ //// Seonghwa stans Taemin and Taemin is Jesus, Taemin has passed his role to Seonghwa! But why did Woo say the choreography is tough, but Hwa said otherwise lmao. Maybe Seonghwa isn't doing anything 😭

ANONNNN

taemin is the son of jesus, need to witness him live so bad ill make him my religion on spot fbfb SEONGHWA BECAME JESUS

i am gonna stop

i logged into twt and i

i

how

what THE fUCK

Btw this person spoke the truth a fear, but they're booing them ausyshshjsjsjsbababsb. If they saw our opinions ☠ can't say shit on that app, because everything is anti behaviour

they so brave for this bc its no one would wanna admit,, UTOPIA SUPREMACY!!!! LMFAOOOO the comment just under the post 😭😭😭😭

Halazia on the other hand seems nice, at least in contrast to Paradgim, idk if I'll be obsessed cause I'm used to them spoiling half the song so I'm not sure how I feel yet ajuduwuwsjjsjssjs, but everyone's already calling it SOTY ofc 😭 the performance spoilers what's going oooooon, feathers?! My issue is the cb is at 6am my time AGAIN???!!!! What happened to later comebacks, fuck America I know it's all for Billboard!!! 😭

sEEE NOW its def better than paradigm, i do dislike the “hala hala hala halzia” i prefer just the “halaziA” they do with their voices and it’s oomph 🤌🏻 the beat at hongjoong’s rap was sICK,, for a moment the beat drop was like the same type of music as dazzling light bUTTT it was good!! jongho’s vocals great i do think mayhaps there couldve been a chorus where they all sing together and it would be chills w the drop,, it was an almost anti drop in the first half,, ur opinions on it??

LMAO gitl, so someone asked if the person on my lockscreen was my girlfriend??? And it's Christmas kitty Hwa I almost died //// Oh he…  yeah so anyway 🧍🏼‍♀️🧎🏼‍♀️ALSO MINGI'S HAIR IS YELLOW AND RED AGAIN AAAAAAAA

LMFAOOOO RHQKDHQKHDKW UR GIRLFRIEND IS SEONGHWA !!!!! SCREAMING DHDJDJDJ£|€£\€\ IM NOT EVEN LOOKING AT HIM IM STUCK ON UR STORY STOP THATS HILARIOUS DHDJ

Wait what's the god save the queen option about 😭 anyways I'm a communist, honestly I got called one more times that I can count so 🤷🏼‍♀️

A COMMUNIST 😭😭😭😭 i am a christmas enthusiast <3 heres another!

Oh no Baeksy, HUI ON BOYS PLANET AS A CONTESTANT??? HE GOT RELEASED FOR THIS?! 😭😭😭😭🔪🔪🔪🔪 - DV 💖

NO CAUSE???? WHAT THE HELL???? 😭😭😭😭😭  

bro’s acting

is this not ceo hwa

and im afraid that arrange marriage fic is topping the tier atm…

ikon freedom era and bp going black label?? what IS GOING ON BFFB

AND A POST MALONE SONG FOR ATTEEZ IM GONNA START SCREAMINNNNG oh its not with hwa 😭😭😭😭

[fructo]

Some of the best advice I've ever gotten came from a relative I'd only met for the first time that day. It's the only advice that's stuck with me.

It was about 2 AM and I was 14 or 15, and we'd been at my aunt's house. I was the only kid there, but everyone was a family member and it was sorta nice being able to hang out with the adults away from my siblings.

We were getting ready to leave and they're all still kind of chatting when she looks at me and asks me what book I'd been carrying earlier. It was the unabridged version of The Count of Monte Cristo; we read the abridged version for school and I loved it, so I bought myself the unabridged edition (I've unfortunately never finished it.)

I shyly told her that yes, I like reading. I'd also brought my Switch with me that night because I thought i was gonna be bored. My family is entertaining enough, apparently, when there's alcohol involved.

She then started talking about her boyfriend and how they loved to do nerdy shit (paraphrasing this part) like Dungeons & Dragons, cosplaying, playing video games. At the time I was a little confused because I didn't understand how the conversation shifted on that direction.

But then she kinda stopped, smiled at me. She told me that it may take a while to find the people or person that likes me for me, but those people exist. She told me that I don't have to change myself or my interests in order to fit into someone's standards, that I was okay. I was okay to like the "nerdy" stuff I enjoyed, I was okay to be happy. It took her a while to find that person and her friends, but she did.

This conversation has stuck with me, and even though I've never seen her since that night, I still am shocked by how comforting her words were. She was the only person in my life—and mind you, this was the first time I've met her—to ever tell me that I was okay for just being me. The only person who hasn't tried to change me ("oh but you would look so cute in this instead!!"), judge me ("it's weird for you to like [x] but when I like [x] it's perfectly fine!!"), or insult me (I am unappreciative, annoying, ignorant.).

I dunno why this came to me all of a sudden, but today was the first day I've ever felt comfortable with just being me. The pain in my chest was gone, and I could breathe again. It only lasted a brief moment, before the weight of my existence came crashing down and I realized I didn't really have anyone to share my happiness with.

But I'm okay.

I tell myself that this isn't my place. My time here is temporary, a finite moment that can be calculated. It's tangible. The end is near. I try to be realistic, keep my head out of the clouds, but thinking about leaving and seeking out my people bubbles up all the time.

The place where I don't carefully pick and choose what parts of myself to talk about. The people who don't make fun of me for being sensitive or emotional. People who don't make fun of me for frying. The people who can recognize what jokes I actually enjoy and what jokes make me uncomfortable. The people who understand.

And I know. I know that there's really a small chance of finding that perfect microcosm, but is it really so bad to hope? Is it so bad to want that for myself? Perhaps it is intangible, but I used to be a dreamer. I miss that girl who used to dream.

So I cling to that memory, that mantra, whenever I think about laughing at a joke that makes me uncomfortable or I listen to my friends talk about stuff they know I have no experience in. I remind myself that I might not fit perfectly here, and I never have. This has never been my place.

But my place is out there. Whether it's alone and at peace with myself, or with the people I might call family regardless of our relationship, it's out there.

I just need to be patient.

[eldritchamy]

more hypno kink ask if that's ok! i am into it and want to be hypnotized but i have no idea where to go to make that happen... it seems you have firsthand experience, if you're willing to share? if not feel free to delete! just wondering where and how you were able to be hypnotized?

The unfortunate answer is I've never actually done it in person, and almost all of my experience has been with more sleep aid type content. I've really never done KINKY hypnosis.

I'd LOVE to have more experience with it, but I haven't really had anyone offer to do it, and the online options for it are not tailored to a personalized experience and, if you watch them from the wrong person, can be dangerous, irresponsible, or abusive.

Even if you find a safe source for that content, the results are going to be very hit or miss, because there's no one making sure the induction is happening for you at the right pace, or making sure it's working for you.

There was a therapist on youtube I watched some videos from and while there was educational value to her content, the inductions she demonstrated were all like 3 to 5 minutes in and out, and for me that's like "lady, what do you MEAN wake up feeling alert and refreshed, my brain has barely hit the FOREPLAY stage here and you're already done?"

I'd love to find someone who's willing to do it with me someday. Not even for horny reasons, I just think it feels neat all by itself, and sometimes it's nice to make your brain turn off.

I had a therapist try it on me once, but A, she was a scriptnotist and not very good at it, and B, this was before I started HRT and I was way too nervous about getting turned on by the concept to get into it at all, so it didn't have ANY effect on me at all.

My next therapist after her (my favorite therapist I've ever had and I miss her DEARLY, she was incredible) tried something with me once that I'm PRETTY SURE was meant as a fixation induction (staring at a point on the carpet), but she was sneaky about it and only ever did it the one time. I think she figured I either didn't really get into trance from it or I was thoughtful and introspective and open enough with her that there was no need to bother with it anyway.

Only other experience with hypnosis has been online, and I would strongly caution you AGAINST doing that recklessly, because you really don't know anything about the person on the other side of that, and should NEVER let someone you don't know you can trust play around with your suggestible brain.

There were a few different creators I used to loosely follow, but I haven't watched any of their videos in years and can't really make any recommendations for you.

The Secret Subject was probably the best of those, and definitely the one I'd feel safest recommending because she's a serious, licensed educator on the subject and is hugely, emphatically big on consent in hypnosis, and has a very queer community, but she purged most of her old videos from youtube and her newer stuff has a very different vibe from what I'm interested in. You can check her out if you want, she's safe. She has a great voice for it, too.

There was another channel I used to use for specifically helping with sleep (again, noisy brain problems), but I would absolutely NOT recommend that channel because I stopped trusting them a while back. I don't really get deep enough into trance to stop having a layer of my brain that's still active, so there's a part of me that's always paying attention, even while hypnotized. I'm a very slow and difficult subject and in the experience I've had so far, nobody is putting any post-hypnotic suggestions in me unless I allow them to. I noticed something about two of their videos that struck me as a predatory tactic that they were almost certainly using to find people who would be targets for manipulation, which sucks. So I stopped watching their stuff years ago.

So I've BEEN hypnotized a few times, but not in a way that I can really make any reasonable recommendations to anyone about it. The best experience you're gonna have with it is in person (so the tist can pay attention to YOUR responses and cater the experience to YOU) with someone that you are absolutely certain you can trust.

How to find IRL partners who are willing to do it with you, and are people you can trust? I can't answer that one.

[baghassavocados]

Gonna put a page break cause it's longgg

1. A little biased but Spinning Tree (both times) {I also enjoy the 2016 tour, a bit of McCarter, and Station Theater BUT I haven't seen many productions}

2. No 😔

3. Uhhh if I have to choose one, Noel, cause he's cool and interesting and he was really fun to play and he's honestly really caring.

4. The Most Creative Person in Town?

5. All of them, but "Noel's Lament" and "Ballad..." especially

6. My favorites are Nischa/Passion Fruit, Mischa x Talia (dunno if they have a specific ship name, they should), SpaceDolls, and PerfectDolls. My least favorite is Noel x any of the girls.

7. Constance's definitely (Mischa and Noel are tied for second)

8. (I put this at the bottom cause I put a LOT-)

9. Y E S- (I'd list them here but that'd make this post so much longer-)

10. Yeye I do :) (they all deserve another chance)

11. I've only ever heard that they exist :(

12. U H- all the New Birthday Song mini scenes? And the scene after "Every Story's Got a Lesson" in the 2016 version.

13. I like the rollercoasters that just spin you around a bunch (so probably similarly to the Gravitron?)

14. Yes

15. Ocean choosing Jane, Constance's monologue, "Talia" and what follows it, "New Birthday Song" and the Jane/Ricky and Noel/Mischa scenes after it, and "It's Not a Game/It's Just a Ride"

16. No

17. Yeah, such as staring blankly, sometimes moving like a marionette, leaning her head to one side, and a more monotone voice.

18. Ummmm

Ocean would try to find a prestigious college in Uranium so she could stay close to Constance but I think ultimately might go to Harvard. Dunno what she'd go into. Maybe teaching so she could be a principal or superintendent eventually (Practicing to be the Prime Minister of Canada). Constance would work at the Blackwood Café while doing online schooling. Dunno what she'd go into either...maybe culinary? Mischa would either take a gap year or just not go to college cause he prefers his rap career. Either way, he'd get a full-time job (probably has one already considering shitty parents don't care about him). He'd also get an apartment the moment he's legally and financially able to (unfortunately doesn't have enough money to get out of Uranium, yet). The rest of the choir would help him settle in. If he did go to college, he'd probably major in music. Penny might go into Forensics/Criminology, Psychology, or Zoology. She might try to go for all three at once. Ricky would go into creative writing but I have a feeling he'd major and/or minor in something else. I don't know what, tho. Noel would want to study abroad in France. Would he be able to? Not very likely. Maybe the choir would pitch in to help, that'd be nice. He'd major in French literature and culture, maybe minor in theater.

19. Jane and Talia - Blue (specifically the RTC album blue)

Ocean and Penny - Green

Noel - Red

Mischa - Orange (maybe also yellow)

Ricky, Constance, and Karnak - Purple

Ricky - also Pink

20. Fall Fair (but I do enjoy Uranium Suite)

8. Ocean and Noel are like siblings (hate each other {and Noel knows when to shut Ocean down} but care about each other), Penny has so many dark facts about animals, Ricky learned ASL on his own and has an AAC device, they all probably learn French cause they're Canadian but Noel likes to use it a lot in day to day life (but he also tries to use more European French than Canadian French), Ricky has a whole Google Doc and at least a few notebooks/sketchbooks dedicated to Zolar, they also have a DeviantArt account, Ricky's also trans but I can't decide which trans she is (like idk if they're Transmasc, Transfem, Gender fluid, Nonbinary... Ricky is THE transgender-) he uses any pronouns tho, Ocean is AroAce or Lesbian {either way, she is not attracted to men}, Constance loves baking for the choir and she makes sure to take into account any and all dietary restrictions, Ocean is a vegan, Mischa is unphased by horror movies but if he's watching one with someone else and they seem terrified he'll talk throughout the movie to make them less terrified and if they're enthusiastic he'll talk through some of it to point out details he notices, Mischa is like the older brother the choir never knew they needed, Ocean would probably add more (or has more) religions onto her list of religions (also for some reason, Ocean with a hijab is appealing to me), Ricky likes putting buttons on their uniform and customizing almost everything they own (such as technology, disability aids, sketchbooks, etc.) with cool stickers, Penny and Ricky (and maybe even Ezra) like to talk about Fnaf theories, Ricky has the choir beta read her writing {Penny, Mischa, and Constance tend to be the ones to do it}, when Noel finally feels comfortable to be Lola Lola for Halloween, Mischa and Ricky support him through dressing in drag with him, Mischa offers up stick and poke tattoos and Penny and Noel are the only two who take him up on it (Noel gets a bleeding, broken heart struck with an arrow on his shoulder, Penny gets a snake eating it's own tail on the back of her wrist, and Mischa gets a mixture of the two by the inside of his elbow), they're all autistic, and I think I should stop there cause oh man I didn't realize how many I had (i should make a doc or something with all of my headcanons-)

ride the cyclone ask game!!

(I’ve never actually made/done one of these before so if I somehow manage to do this wrong pls tell me ^^)

1. What’s your favourite production?

2. Have you seen/read the script for Legoland? If so, what do you think?

3. Favourite character and why?

4. If you were in the choir, what would your “the most x person in town” be?

5. Favourite song/songs?

6. Do you engage in shipping, and if so, what is your favourite and least favourite ship?

7. Favourite monologue?

8. What’s your favourite headcanon?

9. Do you have any fic recommendations?

10. Do you enjoy the ‘everybody comes back to life’ aus?

11. Do you know much about the cut characters? If so, do you enjoy them?

12. Favourite scene?

13. Do you like rollercoasters? If so, what type of rides do you like?

14. Do you think Talia is real?

15. What moment/scene in the show makes you the most emotional?

16. Do you have any ocs?

17. Do you think penny retained any ‘jane doe-ish’ features after coming back to life?

18. What do you think the choir would have done after high school if they didn’t ride the cyclone?

19. What colour do you associate with each character?

20. Fall Fair or Uranium Suite?

[burniingup]

1-5

1. how do you feel about reblog karma?

I get it! I don't have anything in my rules about it because I don't think it's too big of a deal. But it's definitely disappointing to see a notification and it's just someone reblogging a meme from you. I always just reblog from the source anyways, and I definitely try to always send something in if I think it works for our muses or something!

2. is it hard for you to write with characters you don’t know/don’t know well?

A little bit I suppose but not so hard that it matters much. If it's my first time interacting with a character, it's my muses first time too so it's not like there's a ton of pressure to know them. I always pour over people's about (and rules) pages when I'm writing replies anyways to make sure I don't mess anything up.

3. whose writing has impacted your writing style the most? (you can choose anyone! famous writer or not.)

Probably just fellow writers here over the years. I can think of two specific people off the top of my head, but neither are active anymore and neither would know this blog of mine anyways. STILL I always just wanted to make sure my replies were of the same quality as my partners'! So thanks to people who were nice enough to give me a chance when I was new and learning I pushed myself a lot to be able to write better!

4. which muse of yours is your all time favorite? if you stopped writing them: why?

Blue over on @absolut-blue has been fun for me, so he's definitely a close contender. I'm unfortunately very connected to him so I find writing for him a bit easier than most other muses, which is nice. BUT really out of everyone I've played here for forever??

*points*

I have this old old ancient OC that I really treasure, Mandy. I used to play her for years over on @mandythereaper (this blog is old and not very pretty ;;) and it was the most fun I've ever had on the internet like ever. I learned to write on that blog and made so many friends. I am sitting on so much gift art from friends and rp partners from those days. A lot of what I did there was just silly little things and interactions as opposed to actual serious threads. But it was so much fun.

I miss her and I'd like to bring her back maybe one day. I originally stopped writing for her because I thought I would be better off writing for an OC that was more human and less of a fantasy kind of creature. Now I don't write for her because I know her blog will never be what it used to be and that makes me sad. ALSO she's just a really old OC you know? I made her like 11 years ago, her story is over like from beginning to end, I just never think about her anymore. I consider her kind of retired.

5. is there a muse you really want to try? if yes: what’s stopping you?

Literally any canon character for BSD lol. I'm so into the series right now and it's what I really want to write for. Particularly I would like to write for any of the DOA trio. Unfortunately I don't do well writing characters who; are smarter than me, are complex enough that some of their intricacies are lost on me, or whose backstory I don't know well. All of them fall into at least one if not more of those categories.

There's definitely OC's I'd like to add to this blog as well but I'd rather not start adding more to this blog until I have more regular interactions and friends and such. I'm not sure why, that's just what I feel like I should do.

[gallavich-headcanon]

🦊 Hey there, anon! I'm good so far! A bit sleep deprived, but I'm happy to see you're back to the land of the living.

Yes, you don't want to see that side of him. He's regularly hurting me with HCs all of the time, especially with our D&D characters.

Detroit: Become Human. The Fandom has literally built these characters from scratch. It's all just headcanons and mutual agreements. Someone wrote something once at some point, people liked it and thus it became a consistent fact. It's hilarious. (But also: Fuck David Cage.)

Horizon: Zero Dawn. Oh no! That's so unfortunate! I think watching a Let's Play would also be enough! As I definitely can't cover all the important details. Unless you want a literal essay. There is definitely an active and very talented fanbase! I haven't taken a peek into Fanfiction (yet), as I am not much into ships in this franchise. In canon, there isn't really a love interest for Aloy! There's a lot of implications and possibilities to interpret her which is absolutely fantastic. Guerilla Games (the developers) are also very keen on representation! Lots of Queer characters are casually dropped and the second game has a disabled character as one of the mains.

Supernatural. I agree. Enough said about this, I have nothing to add.

Duskwood. Jake is definitely a bi icon, I won't accept anything else. It was a shame the developers didn't put that in. I think they might consider doing it for the next game in planning, as it's high demand within the fandom (and very likely we will see him in the new game, although the new and old game have little to do with each other). As for gore, I would say no or at least not in the sense that I understand it. You see blood and a character in typical Being-Kidnapped-Disarray, but nothing too extreme, honestly. The Mini-Games are in-between certain scenes to have the illusion of time passing, basically. It's one of those Connect-3-Games. They can be very frustrating, as they tend to be difficult the more the story progresses.

Mate, I'm not into unhappy endings per se. I sometimes think it's refreshing to not have those, just to have something else once in a while. But, mate. But overall. Can't do it on main. When searching for Fanfic it's the first tag that gets excluded. Right up there with open/ambigous ending.

Hey darling! I hope you had a nice weekend and got to catch some sleep (:

Yes, you don't want to see that side of him. -> Jesus and I hope I never will!

Back to our discussion - Detroit: Become Human. Sound like a fan-made fandom, I like it. Like nearly everything must be fanon.

Horizon: Zero Dawn. In canon, there isn't really a love interest for Aloy! There's a lot of implications and possibilities to interpret her which is absolutely fantastic. ->That's interesting! I'm a sucker for romance, so I wonder if I'd still be able to get invested in a plot without a romantic storyline. If you ever get into the fanfics and have recs, you know where to find me (;

Duskwood. Jake is definitely a bi icon -> I'm assuming Jake is the hacker? This sounds so cool and actually my style of plot. I'm going to look into this and get back to you about this one. I don't mind some blood or dead bodies (I'm a criminal minds and CSI girlie first and foremost) but I don't like the thriller of getting jump scared, you know?

I sometimes think it's refreshing to not have those, just to have something else once in a while. -> I hear you, but I can't relate. I need my happy ending 100% of the time. hahaha I just realized I sound like a baby but I don't care. When searching for Fanfic it's the first tag that gets excluded. -> EXACTLY.

[seeking-the-sunrise]

Hey, Delta!

I'm so sorry to hear that everything has been so hard for you :( I feel for you, student life really is the worst! Especially when you have one of the worst nights of your life and you're expected to just get up and go to school again the next day :( I wish I could help you more, but my last year at school was really rough too, so I couldn't even help you study if I tried, not to mention the difference between our native tongues as well... But I'm wishing you all the best! If you ever need someone to vent to, my DMs are always open for you!

I'm sorry to hear that... I've been there as well, having had feelings for my best friend back then. Unfortunately, she just brushed me off and laughed at me because she was straight... Love really is a rough topic, I've never really had anyone before either, so I get it...

Oh my, I'm so sorry to hear that! I hope that you're able to enjoy your time here at least somewhat, then! Without all those requests to take care of! Please take care of yourself first and foremost, the rest of us can wait until you're in a better place! Your writing is amazing, and I'm always looking forward to it, but I don't want to read it at the cost of you suffering and overworking yourself like that! Please treat yourself kindly, you deserve it!

Yeah, I've been there as well, I've had insomnia before and it was one of the worst times of my life... I also take sleeping pills these days, but at least I'm able to sleep at all nowadays... So yeah, you're definitely not alone in this :(

I'm glad to hear that you're feeling a little bit better now, but I'm still really worried about you :( Please take care of yourself! If there's anything I can do for you, please let me know! I wanna be able to help you out a little as well, you know!

But I've been doing pretty alright as of late, mio amico caro :> I've been struggling a little bit with feelings myself, though ^^; On the one hand, I like to think I'm aroace, but on the other hand I kinda do want a boyfriend ^^; Not even in a romantic way, just in a way where I can be affectionate with a guy, call him my world, cuddle him, spoil him, and so on and so forth. I don't know if that's because I get gender envy from guys or if I'm a gay/mlm aroace, but all the guys I'm attracted to have families by now, so I don't stand a chance either ^^; But Idk, something just feels really nice about thinking about putting a guy on my chest and cuddling him, you know? :>

Work has been keeping my pretty busy, though, and I've barely been having time for myself between keeping myself alive and working for nine hours every day ^^; Would love to be able to wind down a little bit again and maybe read some fanfics again, look at some fanart, maybe watch the new CoD, you know? I'd love to write some HCs here and there again as well, but I have no one to share them with, unfortunately ^^;

I've been able to play some old video games from my childhood again as of late, though! Some really good Nintendo games like Tomodachi Life because I was able to emulate it! I've been distracting myself with that and keeping myself busy keeping my Miis fed and happy ^^ It's really cute and fun, maybe you could try it sometime :D You can emulate it on Windows and Android, not sure about iOS, though!

Anway, not much has been new with me, I'm always just busy somehow! Sorry for responding in a reblog, I could never have fit this entire reply in the comment section ^^; But still, I hope you'll feel better soon, I'm rooting for you! And the offer to let you vent to me still stands, by the way! And if you need anything else I'll try to help you out however I can as well, alright? Have a nice evening, I'm wishing you all the best! :>

Hey there, Delta! It's been a while, but I wanted to check in with you ^^ How have you been? Have you been well? Has anything exciting happened? Anything you want to get off your chest? I'm sorry I haven't been reading and reblogging your stuff as of late, I've been really busy for the most part, but I'm gonna try to read your newest fics soon! I'm sure they're delightful, as is all of your writing :> Anyway, I'm wishing you a nice evening! Best of everything to you for the rest of the week :>

Ueeeehh I can finally breath some fresh air again *dies*

I can respond and be active more, sorry if I didn't respond before but my student life was flodded with tests and some oral tests too I had to fo asap bcs I had to get some good grades🥹.

School has been killing me for the past 3 months but I am a bit better now, you? All good there :33??

I have also been emotionally unwell as I was starting to have feelings for a friend but then everything came downhill as all of his good things like hearts or nicknames (at least for me) were just practice he could put in action with his neely found girlfriend...ahah he didn't even tell me and I got to know it from one of our mutual friends :/

Eh love is not for me apperently but what can I do abt it? Nothing sadly...

Yah bub me too I havent been active here for more than 10 secs a day bcs I didn't have time or a was too tired which is not unusual since I almost always ended up studying until 11 pm and had to get up at 6 am 💀.

On top of that I am atarting to have trouble sleeping and have to get a pseudo anethesia like pill to make me close my eyes for 4 hours a night... doesn't help the fact that I cried myself to sleep eheh

Anygay! I am overall feeling a bit better now, not much but it's a start hope I can forget these unrequited feelings :(

Btw hoe about you? How have you been mein freund?

[ninjakk]

Hi! I wanted to ask you something that’s been bugging me for a while: I want to know who’s the oldest between wx, and, for a long time, I thought it was WWX, since he says that they met when they were 15 and it was spring (then, LWJ was the youngest because his birthday is on January) but I remembered that MXTX uses the chinese age with Jin Ling (the text says JL is 15, but he should be 13 chronologically) so I don’t know if it was used with wx too. I think the characters for occidental/oriental age are different but I know -10 of chinese🤔who do you think is the oldest? The thought of them actually meeting at 13-14 is funny, though xD

Hi Anon,

Well, I'd have to say LWJ is older than WWX, because WWX has called him 'WangJi-xiong' in the past, as well as 'Lan Er-Ge' and 'Lan Er-Gege' which are all used to address someone older than you. Unfortunately I don't speak or read much Chinese at all. But as far as I'm aware; Both Xiong and Ge/Gege mean 'older brother' - the latter is just less formal, more cute/flirty way of doing so.

I'm not sure if MXTX gave LWJ a birth date - I've only ever seen her attribute one to WWX in an interview 🤔

So I would have to assume LWJ is older, because of the honorifics WWX uses for him ☺️

I think if you do the math (which isn't my strong point mind! 🤣), WX are definitely 15/16 when they meet. WWX had been guarding his first kiss for 20 years, and that was 5 years after they first met. Also, they both have courtesy names. MXTX said she lowered this from the usual age of 20 to 15 to fit in with the story.

.

As for JL... * Scribbles down numbers like a mad scientist - akin to what I imagine WWX was like while inventing things in the Demon-Slaughtering Cave... *

At the start of the novel JC confirms JL is going to turn 15 that year - so he's a little younger. Since he said "15 this year" he might have only just turned 14 as well. So I think this adds up nearly, give or take a few months? The first siege at the Burial Mounds was "nearly three months later" after the Bloodbath of Nightless City. Since JL was just over a month old when JYL died, he'd be around 4 months at the time of WWXs demise. With us not knowing exactly when WWXs was reborn within the thirteenth year since his death - this could add up to the extra months, rounding everything off nicely to coincide with JL being 14 at the start of the novel.

You are right, the traditional Chinese method of counting a person's age is a little different. You're 1 at birth instead of being 0. It gets a little complicated after that, because they then add another year onto that age once the child reaches their first Luna New Year as well. So depending on what month you are born, you could be classed as 2 pretty early on! Even though you would be technically perhaps less than 1 by modern calculations. After your first Luna Year, your age is then calculated by the turn of each new Luna Year. So it will be a year in between thereafter, if that makes sense. But as far as I'm aware, MXTX did not use this method when giving her characters their ages. I think this might stem from people being a bit confused with JLs ages - but hopefully the above helps to clear this up a little.

Just to further support my musings! If MXTX had used the traditional Chinese method for everyone's age, A-Yuan would have been too young to act the way he did when the novel states he was "one or two" years old. Because he was able to walk, talk and play very competently - making me assume he was definitely older than if his age was being calculated the traditional way.

As for WX meeting when they are a little older, I'm rather glad to be honest! Especially considering some of the sexual tension and flirtatious behaviour at times over their youth 😂

Anyway! I hope I managed to answer your question Anon 🤗

Me trying to line up JLs age with WWX's resurrection... 🤣

[marcholasmoth]

OSRR: 3015

guess all i needed was to complain one too many times about not being able to think to be able to think. figures, right?

i was able to write a message to my classmates and start doing research and make a bibliography for my part of the capstone project. i'm glad to be doing things.

also?????? someone at northeastern's financial aid department was exuding major big dick energy today because my application for my student loan (the second one) (the one i submitted yesterday that got sent to the school TODAY) got approved and certified within half an hour of being submitted. i have dispersal dates, too. i'm gonna be able to get new tires. but more importantly, i'll be able to pay for my classes!!! i just need to accost someone to waive the healthcare bullshit for me. because for real???? i don't need northeastern healthcare. i don't go to the school. i don't live near campus. i don't go to campus. ever. the one time i'll go near campus is for graduation in may, and maybe once before that if i can't get my problems solved over the phone. but then i'll be their problem! i'll sit on a desk and cross my legs and get leaves and shit on their paperwork until they fix it! i won't actually do that, not literally because as my mom stated yesterday i'm "too nice," but it's a nice thought. i'm not like that. which is unfortunate for every problem i've ever had. but it's nice to have advocates and people who will help me not be abused and mistreated, whether at work or in general. it's nice to have people in my corner. which is fuckin wild.

also i sat and worked with nancy for a couple hours today on biology. it's a lot of words that definitely aren't english and concepts that are still foreign to me despite having taken it before, but i don't care. i'd walk across hot coals for nancy and her family. for real. she's a delight and deserves to do well in everything.

this morning i went with my mom to the quilt shop in goffstown, where we dropped off the quilt top she just made and picked the quilting design and the thread color. she has me go with her because i have a good eye for it and she can't see things in her head. for both the pattern and the string, we went with both of my first picks. i love being right.

after the quilt shop mom and i went to ihop where our waitress was also named molly and who ALSO applied to go to grad school at northeastern but decided to go somewhere else because of how expensive it is. i'm like "hah, yeah, it's expensive all right lmao." so that was fun.

so the day went awake, shower, dressed, quilt shop, breakfast, i had mom bring me to joel's so i could pick up my chargers and let the doggo out, we took the long way home, stopped to buy pumpkins, stopped to look for plants, stopped for ice cream, finally actually went home, sat down and worked, went to work with nancy, and then came back to town to hang out with the eggs. we went to shaws for ice cream sundae supplies and then the wilton house of pizza for dinner, and we stopped at home to eat with mom because we got her stuff too. we got back to the eggs and eggy and i watched the first six episodes of the dragon prince s4 which is SO GOOD. i'm yelling. anyway, it's really good.

but now i'm home and in bed and it's late and i am so excited to sleep.

but also since joel and his dad and MY dad are at the same convention, joel sent me a picture of my papa from the back and papa sent me a text saying he'd seen joel and his dad at a table playing. it was so funny to just see a picture of my dad at some random place from joel, who also happened to be there. 🤣🤣🤣

[canonicallyanxious]

hi! saw your last anon and sorry if this is annoying, but just wanted to ask u a question. i don’t know anything about d20 (assuming it’s like a d&d game) but i did watch all the free game changer episodes on yt and i’m lowkey obsessed and want more. is d20 the same kind of vibe, assuming it’s the same people? for someone who isn’t and has never played d&d would you reccommend starting d20? i kinda don’t want to pay for dropout, so maybe i’ll start with that :) have a nice day!

not an annoying question don't worry!! in fact i feel like i have to apologize in turn because i already know i'm going to be incapable of being normal about answering this question lol but me being verbose as hell on main, what else is new, etc. etc.

Re: whether d20 has a similar vibe to game changer -

so i'd say you're right in that d20 involves many of the people that are featured on game changer since they're both produced by collegehumor/dropout. as you might know Brennan Lee Mulligan who appears pretty often on game changer is the main DM for d20, and since d20 is an anthology show the casts rotate out every season but one of the most frequently recurring casts incudes Zac Oyama, Ally Beardsley, and Lou Wilson who are also pretty frequent guests of game changer [the others were also involved with Collegehumor at some point, can't remember if they've been on gc tho]. collegehumor folks sometimes appear in other seasons as well - for example rekha shenkar and lily du have been in multiple d20 seasons, jess ross and mike trapp have also featured, and there's even one season that's oops all collegehumor folks called Mice and Murder which is basically holmesian style turn of the century murder mystery but everyone is an anthropomorphized animal [dropout exclusive but the first ep is on the d20 yt channel]. so if you vibe with the humor and the personalities of the people who feature a lot on game changer, it's likely you will vibe with the humor and tone of d20 too!

that said, given that game changer is styled after a traditional competitive game show and d20 is an actual play show where people play tabletop rpgs together they are very different in the sense of genre. d20, while largely improvised [which believe me is a fact that will probably be hard to believe when watching it but is entirely true], is very much a collaborative storytelling effort between the people involved and makes very concerted efforts to present a tight and cohesive narrative through their seasons. so d20 is great if you like fictional narratives and fun and colorful characters, but if you want more traditionally unscripted content like gamechanger i recommend checking out:

dirty laundry [which is actually a spin-off of a gamechanger episode; hosted by Lily Du, first ep available on the CH yt channel]

make some noise [unfortunately i think right now all the make some noise eps are also dropout exclusive, here i have linked to the trailer, but it is another spinoff based on this honestly iconic game changer ep wherein Josh Ruben, Brennan Lee Mulligan, and Zac Oyama make weird sounds at each other and it's the funniest thing in the world]

Um, Actually [nerdy trivia game show hosted by Mike Trapp]

Rank Room [fyi it's an older show and they don't make it anymore but i still think it's a fun watch; hosted by Katie Marovich]

[do u see what i mean. i thought this first question would be a short answer skdfjnsdkjfnsdns so uh deep apologies for what will come after this bc i have THOUGHTS about your second question]

Re: would i recommend d20 for someone who has no experience with d&d -

short answer: yes absolutely 100%.

long answer: why do i so enthusiastically recommend d20 for people who have never played dnd? because i am a people who has never played dnd and d20 is one of my favorite shows ever! tbh i do think i am kind of biased as d20 is really the only actual play show i've ever been able to get into and i'm sure there are plenty of other shows out there that work for other people [if you're a podcast person for example you have tons of good options, i however am Not] but there are a number of reasons why I personally enjoy d20 as an actual play show:

I often struggle with other actual play shows because of how long and meandering they are. I think this is more of a personal preference thing because even when reading/watching more traditional forms of media i always tend to prefer tighter narratives with a clear ending in mind [e.g a 3 season show with a good finale is more compelling to me than an ongoing 10 season show with no ending in sight] but because d20 is an anthology show and each season is more or less a self-contained story aside from the few sequels i find it much easier to keep my attention on the episodes. to be sure the eps are still quite long, most ranging from 1.5-2 hours, but brennan + the other dms they feature on d20 do a really good job of keeping the pace moving while still giving the players freedom to explore the world and make their own narrative choices [which i think is one big appeal actual play shows has over other forms of media, the improvised and collaborative nature of the storytelling versus something that's already been fully scripted beforehand].

another thing i struggle with is how cumbersome dnd combat can be, personally i don't think it's the most accessible especially for people who have no ttrpg experience but d20's combat actually works pretty well for me because 1. they plan their combats before the season starts and especially in the earlier seasons of d20 they stuck pretty strictly to alternating between roleplay versus combat episodes so it's easier for me when i know kind of what to expect and 2. because they plan their combats in advance they are able to build INCREDIBLE custom battle sets with custom minis [shout out to Rick Perry!] and for me the visuals really help me keep my attention on the combat versus when combat is more theater of the mind [which to be clear does sometimes still happen in d20]. Tbh i still think combat can be a little clunky especially in the earlier seasons of d20 but i think the show has always gone to a lot of effort to create really creative and engaging combats for both the players and the audience and as it's gone on they've only gotten better at achieving this

in that vein i think the fact that d20 is 1. entirely filmed and 2. edited very well is VERY helpful for someone like me who has traditionally struggled with podcasts because the lack of visual context makes it hard to stay focused. as far as the editing goes i know some people prefer more of a livestream feel but just for me personally having the editing and the different camera angles and the sound cues and the music [d20 is really good at picking royalty free music for their soundtracks btw may i just say] gives me something more concrete to focus on and keeps it more visually interesting. and i do feel that they still make an effort to preserve the more natural/organic feel of ttrpgs by limiting their cuts story wise and focusing a lot on player reactions in the moment so for me it kind of hits the best of both worlds!

personally i think the choice for d20 to cast a lot of talented improv comedians is fucking inspired, especially when the show is so comedy-oriented. improv comedians are good at making bold choices on their feet, crafting rich characters while improvising their dialogue on the spot, and collaborating with each other, which are all skills that are very helpful for an actual play show context and everyone they cast on d20 is SO talented at all of these things. there are some players on d20 who also have little to no experience with dnd [notably Ally Beardsley has only ever officially played dnd on camera for d20; Rekha Shenkar and Mike Trapp in Escape From the Bloodkeep were also very new to dnd at the time] which on the one hand i think helps audience members like me who are inexperienced with dnd knowing some of the players are in the same boat but also they tend to make some of the wildest most out of the box choices as a result of being new to the game. so i think ultimately it's just a really fun combination and it's so much fun to watch in action!

and just a few more reasons why I consider d20 a favorite in a more general sense:

I mean Brennan Lee Mulligan as d20's main DM is a HUGE draw of d20 in my opinion. like if you were already a fan of him from game changer or other college humor content i think you will especially appreciate him in d20 because he is absolutely in his element here. actually last year i made a ppt for my friends about why i like d20 so much so here is a relevant excerpt:

i want to emphasize that d20 is a comedy-oriented show so tonally comedy is what it will prioritize. however i also want to emphasize that this does not mean it pulls any punches with the emotional depths it's able to reach. the themes and the worlds and the characters are SO rich and complex and compelling and I think i have experienced basically every human emotion and then some while watching this show. i also think it's incredibly character driven and does an amazing job of prioritizing character and relationship development and player agency, which is one of my favorite things to see in any kind of show!

and conceptually i just think it's so much fucking fun! it being an anthology show means there is something in here for everyone but i have enjoyed every season i have watched immensely [which is all of them except for one!] and have found it remarkably easy to become invested in every single one. you want to know what it would be like if dnd took place in a john hughes style teenage coming of age movie? or what if lord of the rings was about the bad guys but also it’s a workplace comedy? or how about an urban fantasy story set in modern day new york with a secret sixth borough hidden away in the world of dreams? you can have it all and more from d20! and this is just the seasons that are available on yt for FREE there are so many other cool and fun stories and worlds and dms to engage with!!!

tl;dr it's a good show and i like it very very much thank you for coming to my ted talk

[falderaletcetera]

oooh, enjoy the listen through!

so I'm happy to talk about it (tagging @eyrieofsynapses who expressed interest), but heads up that this is lovingly and respectfully tscosi-critical; there's no obligation to engage.

but, for myself at least, I think it's good stuff to be aware of.

basically all of this comes courtesy of this post / also on Ao3 / shorter version with tldr at the end - I recommend reading, but even the short version is pretty long and deals with a few other topics, so from memory and in my own words:

I gather that ptsd flashbacks involving violence are rare, and ptsd flashbacks involving lethal violence are vanishingly rare, whereas portrayals of ptsd in the media have happily and frequently shown this for decades, colouring people's perceptions of the condition and perpetuating a pretty dangerous myth. (this is the article about ptsd myths that tunedtostatic references - it's #4 on the list, and it describes the S2 arkady incident... closely.)

so arkady having a flashback and almost murdering krejjh - and later describing herself as a time bomb - isn't particularly accurate, and isn't great to see when it's already such a common trope. and then we have mccabe's involvement.

and, okay, I like what they intended with that and didn't question it at first, but mccabe manages and successfully de-escalates the situation by levelling a gun at the person having a ptsd freakout, and keeping it pointed at her while threatening to (non-lethally) shoot her, and, just, oh man. with the state of various policing institutions and their mishandling of people with mental illnesses and neurodivergences, including ptsd, this is not a great solution to show us working. I don't think pointing a gun at someone who's feeling profoundly unsafe, who's stuck in that place of fear for their very survival, is a good way to calm them down.

(the problem is I really do like what they were intending! it's a nice moment of the two characters understanding each other, sort of. plus, frankly, some of my first fanfic was winter soldier stuff, and I enjoy characters with the "is dangerous and has baggage about it" character trait; this kind of situation is something I've seen before and appreciate, and something I am now questioning and seriously reassessing in my own writing. it's tricky.)

((frustratingly, for me, the show had already introduced a way for arkady to realise that she needs help when confronted with it properly, and it's her losing time. dissociating that badly in a city that's being actively bombed would be dangerous for her and concerning for the others, could well require people coming to find her, and even krejjh freaking her out further and maybe mccabe managing to get through to her and get her moving. I've got this mentally filed as something I kinda want to write as a fix-it if my brain ever plays ball, but that's not likely to happen, and I'd clearly have more research to do first.))

this fits, unfortunately, with a pattern of the show being patchy about disability issues. to be clear, I think the show's intent is very good: they were so good about violet's anxiety (she put into words stuff I'd never even tried to articulate), sana's depression was handled with similar compassion, they brought in a writer who's great at this stuff for Deep Breath specifically, and I saw them looking on here for disability consults for season three.

but. we do also have the "mercy killing" of someone who would have had to deal with post-concussion symptoms and wouldn't be able to afford painkillers, implicitly supported by even sana, which feels so wrong to me. I'd have been a bit happier if they just framed it as a security issue, honestly. and there's another thing in the S2 finale where brian needing to stay on a planet for a while is framed as "he would be a drain on resources and risk other people's lives," which I imagine was a bit of a punch for some folks to hear, and not just "he needs regular access to oxygen, and flying around on adventures would risk his life significantly more than usual." (tunedtostatic also makes a good point that figuring out how to accomodate brian on the ship could well help accomodate others, potentially saving more lives down the road.)

...sidenote, but I'm still figuring out how to discuss fandom stuff that isn't entirely positive, so please excuse any understatement or weird phrasing.

needless to say I still love and appreciate this show but I'm glad I read the criticism I did! it's a shame the S2 finale relies on this as much as it does, because the rest of it is so good.

I'm gonna start TSCoSI again because I've been thinking about it for weeks, but @falderaletcetera you had some Thoughts about Arkady and McCabe and the trauma of it all in the s2 finale that I'd love to hear more of if you'll allow me to prompt you.

Sorry for not asking when you mentioned it, things got away from me, but it's definitely been on my mind.