#and unfortunately I don't think I'd ever be able to play nicely with someone with preconceived notions of their music

[kisakis-boyfriend]

I don't know if you know this character well but can you do Sanzu with the whole alphabet

Author's Note: One Sanzu for you!! 💖

For our 3000 follower celebration! (CLOSED NOW)

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

A lot of it depends on how rough the sex was, and how intense the scene was, but Sanzu is very kissy after sex. Even when he has no energy to hold himself up, he'll try to kiss whichever parts of you are within his reach.

For someone who uses rough and wild kinks to take the edge off/distract himself from his thoughts, Sanzu really values gentle aftercare. Hold him, hold his hands, kiss his hands!!, take care of him and he'll cuddle up to you like a bonded house cat 🩷

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Hands and forearms, for himself. Of yours, Sanzu is all about your ass. He's a sucker for a man with a nice cake 🍰

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically)

Sanzu moans so much when he cums. As if he's ever quiet, but when that orgasm hits it's like everything comes out at once.

I'd say his cum is a little thin, more like water. He really enjoys licking his own cum from your fingers, or your cock after you fuck him.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Sanzu jacks off to horror movies — the more blood and gore, the easier it is for him to cum. He's fond of slashers, often imagining that he's in the victims' places, being caressed by a shiny knife or other sharp object.

Movie night dates are the best, if you're willing to indulge in his fucked up fantasy. Sanzu's not going to complain if you pretend to be those slashers and fuck him at knifepoint 😚

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Mildy experienced. Sanzu had a few fwb relationships before you got together, but he wasn't able to indulge in the harder kinks with his partners. That's the kind of thing that you and him get to experience together.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. May include a visual)

Doggy, face pressed harshly into the mattress or whatever surface is underneath him.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

I think he can be goofy, but it entirely depends on his mood. There won't be much silliness when Sanzu is sad and seeking out sex to ease the pain. That's when he needs more tenderness and comfort.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

This man does not trim at all, but that's fine because his hair isn't that unruly. You can expect a relatively thick pink bush~

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect)

In his own way, I do think he is intimate, and I think he seeks out intimacy in whatever way he can get it.

By that I mean, being attracted to knifeplay, having someone hold him against their body with a blade pressed against his throat, that's his version of intimacy. Who cares if the touch isn't "gentle", you're touching each other, it's physical contact, what more do you need?

(please hug him…introduce Sanzu to the concept of a loving embrace and a more tender approach)

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Jerks himself to overstimulation more often than not. Sanzu just enjoys the feeling of his slippery cock sliding through his fist, making a mess of himself, and the overwhelming ecstasy that comes from masturbation :P

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Oh boy, here we go: CNC, knifeplay, gunplay, bloodplay, choking, impact play, degradation, kidnapping, drugging, intox play, somnophilia… you get the gist, I think.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Jeez, where won't he have sex? Sanzu would smile wide and thank you profusely if you bent him over the counter in some unfortunate fast food joint. Or if you bred him in the middle of a public park, on the sidewalk, literally anywhere…

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Nothing turns Sanzu on more than neck kisses, and if you decide to nibble on his soft skin in between them? Well, that's just asking for a horny partner to sink to his knees or bend over all by himself!

Sanzu is embarrassed to admit that something so simple can make him melt like butter, but it's true!

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

While Sanzu is into degradation, there are certain words that will bring the entire scene to a halt; worthless, good-for-nothing, weak, or calling him overly emotional.

Calling him dumb, stupid, even a cheap whore is perfectly fine, just not those other words.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

It all depends on his mood (I'm just now realizing how much I've said this…). Sometimes Sanzu prefers to slobber on your dick, moaning as he gives you heart eyes, giving you the sloppiest head imaginable. Other times Sanzu prefers to have you between his legs, sucking the depression out through his cock, allowing your loving boyfriend to fuck your throat a little, for once.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Generally prefers faster and rougher, whatever pushes his usual thoughts out of his brain and lets pleasure take over.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He likes them just fine, and he's usually the one to initiate them too. Sometimes Sanzu needs a quick fuck to take the edge off and stay focused on work or something.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Lol very much so. Almost everything is fair game for Sanzu, just maybe talk about it and tell him how excited you are to experience it with him and he will agree :)

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last)

Well, a lot, normally. Sanzu might be a bit of a pillow prince and lie there drooling, but he does ask you to keep going for at least several rounds. He enjoys overstimulation, so you can really just continue fucking him for hours with no issues, including after he falls asleep.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Not the biggest fan of toys unless you use them to enhance the pleasure. Sanzu won't use fleshlights or dildos by himself, but if you ask nicely and do all of the work, then he's down for it.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

God he's such a brat… Sanzu is like a little Chihuahua, biting your fingers or your lip when you kiss, rubbing your bulge at inappropriate times, whispering in your ears about how wet he is even as you're surrounded by friends, or calling you daddy at inappropriate moments, rocking his hips whenever he's in your lap, and grinding his pretty ass against you while you spoon… the teasing never ends 😭

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Loud, and there's no shutting him up either. Even with a gag in his mouth, Sanzu moans through it.

His moans are so obscene, but in a good way. And Sanzu is really whiny.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

You can almost always find scratches on Sanzu's body, because he scratches himself whenever he masturbates. He gets so into it and he claws at his stomach, chest, and thighs usually, occasionally leaving marks around his neck or arms too though.

This, of course, means that you will end up with many scratch marks when you fuck him… 😅

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

He's a fairly average size, 6 inches erect, and his dick curves to the left somewhat. When he blushes, his cock blushes as well, heavily~

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

VERY HIGH LMAO

Poor Sanzu is rarely un-horny. His mind is a mess oftentimes, and the way it usually translates that is into a high sex drive and a need to experience that kind of sexual high frequently.

Z = ZZZ (How quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

If you really, truly exhaust him, then he'll probably pass out right after his final orgasm. Otherwise, he might be a bit loopy, but Sanzu can stay conscious enough to cuddle or take a bath.

[mutipede]

Genuinely unfortunate that I don't feel comfortable sharing this thing but 1. goddamn what a ridiculous fucking mood whiplash and 2. I think this is the first time I've written something for "fun" (lol) that I actually... FINISHED. With an ENDING ending.

I started writing because all of the friends I've ever played any TTRPGs with are no longer friends and may never have been in the first place and that was my favorite shit to do and now is so fucking deeply painful that I might never be able to do another RPG again and it's a fucking abyssal hole in me but I figured I can put the creativity into my own shit and it's been nice but also

None of the RPGs I've ever done with anyone ever finished.

I never wanted them to, to be fair. I'd keep going with that shit forever if someone let me. But circumstances never let me. Other people would lose interest or - y'know. Standard roleplaying / getting a group of people together on a regular basis for any fucking reason problems. And devastating collapses of relationships. But nothing. Ever. Finished.

I finished a thing and it's a ridiculous thing but I finished a thing.

[old-school-butch]

Thank you for having anon on, you must get a lot of hate, but i'm a hidden recently deprogrammed ex-TIF and i appreciate being able to... confess to being a woman without being hung for it. i know that when i come out with this i will lose most of my friends because my detransition will "invalidate" them all. they will push me out so they can remain "gay men".

i wanted to ask what you think about ex-TIFs? and if you've seen how it plays out when we (re)integrate into womanhood, from the side of women. i've only seen it from the side of TRAs and it's an excommunication and violent rejection. i'm going to lose my community, and i have (since i started looking into it) fully agreed with most radfem core beliefs you see here on tumblr.

i took testosterone for years, but i also stopped in 2019 because it made me so angry. i have no breasts and a deepened voice. i wonder how radfems might see me. will i seem like a returned traitor?

will other women be interested in me still? i'm bisexual, but was pushed to mainly date men as a TIF because those relationships were "gay" and dating women was hetero and "lesser" love. i don't want to center men anymore. but i have no breasts, and i have no woman's voice. do women care? i don't know.

i ask you because you are older and maybe you would know. my best wishes to you. thank you.

I keep anon on for just this reason, because I remember how insane I felt when I found the courage to stop pushing aside those thoughts that, surely, everyone knows we're making all this up and just being nice, right?

It's an unfortunate part of human nature that it's easier to con someone than persuade them they've been conned. Once the con is taken up, it's agonizing to admit it and pull away from it. You have to live with the harms you've done along the way, which I admit to and which will eventually weigh on you as well. It's not easy, especially when your immediate friends will be harsh with you. If they don't cast you out, you might find yourself self-isolating to pre-emptively remove yourself and spare yourself the pain.

I'm not going to lie, you will encounter women who regard you as a traitor because they, themselves, have not come to terms with the harms they've done, or they've been lucky enough to not have been tested on this crucible and can't believe that anyone can be turned so upside down as we have.

However, you're not alone. I have no statistics but in meeting younger lesbians I'd guess at least 1 in 3 of them are detransitioners from varying stages of identifying as trans. If you are same-sex attracted or gender non-conforming in any way, today's society will digest that as 'trans?' and without saying a word you will find yourself being they/them without ever asking, and transition will be suggested if you suffer from so much as a bad period cramp or any frustration with your body. As women and as lesbians, we experience so much pain that society ignores, and the most powerful articulation of that anguish in our time is 'this can't be the body I'm meant to be in.' Like anorexia, dissociative identities, cutting and other expressions of female despair, we are permitted to lash out destructively as long as we bring down that rage on our own bodies. We continue to inhabit these scarred battlefields long after the fighting has moved on.

I guess the main thing to know is that you are not alone. In fact, I suspect that the 'part of my story where I was convinced I was trans' is going to be part of the coming-out pantheon for lesbians in the future that is as common as having a crush on a straight friend and have the talk with your parents. I don't think having breasts or a deeper voice will condemn you to loneliness, I don't think anyone can blame you for what's happening or being swept up in it. If they do, you can ask them why they didn't stop you, why their voices didn't reach you when you needed it most, and why - now that you've found your own way home with very little help from anyone around you - they aren't appreciating the courage and effort it took for you to find your way.

Welcome home, sister.

[whitherwordswither]

Logs from the Starfields, VI

Captain's Log #0.06:

What… what day is it? I don't even remember.

I never made it back to New Atlantis. I… ended up in Neon. Always tried to steer clear of the place but. I needed fuel and. Well. I'm still hunting for just the right ship and I figured I'd check the shops for some new gear and weapons.

And then the whole thing turned in to one exhausting blur.

Neon is a mess. It didn't take me long to figure out all the little working parts. The guard is corrupt. The ruling body, whatever his name is, is a scum lord. And there are numerous gangs. All the while there are some honest merchants and folks trying to keep their shit from falling apart.

Back on New Atlantis I'd submitted an application for Ryujin Industries for gits and shiggles. Didn't think I'd actually be walking straight in to an interview. Right off the bat, I don't like the head woman I'm talkin' to. I can tell this is a no bullshit shade-throwin' shitshow from a mile away. But I play nice. Pick up a coffee order for all the execs. Then get assigned a job to tamper with a competing companies computers. I head over to the other place across the station, just to scope 'em out. If they were another awful sort of place I could see doing the job… but. They ain't. In fact, the receptionist there is one of the nicest gals I've met. She points me to a local mining company that is having trouble and… well. I end up helping them out. I end up helping out just about every merchant in the strip, actually. They're all fighting to band together and push back against the corruption around them. I admire that.

I leave Ryujin hanging. I… I even join up with one of the gangs. Now, hear me out. It ain't my kinda thing but. This particular gang, they used to run the place. Be the top dogs. Sure, they stole, but they didn't kill. They were an unfortunate side effect of the way Neon works. They do what they do to survive. But the new gang that moved in and took over? They hurt people for fun. So… I sign up with 'em simply to put a stop to the psychotic new gang.

Our last move against 'em, security shows up. Gives us all an ultimatum. The gang gets to swap their street colors for security garb. I can see what's gonna happen here. Luckily, because I've helped cull the badder seeds, I get the chance to skip off on my merry way. Which works for me. I was just there to take out the worse trash.

My persuasion skill has been getting a heck of a work out, let me tell ya.

I leave Neon for a brief run to pick up some medical supplies for the local facility. Seems Bayu, the shitlord of the whole place has been blocking shipments and taxing incoming loads specifically. It's ridiculous. So I offer to run some supplies on the down low. The clinic here is just trying to help people.

Bayu is a piece of fucking work. I get to meet the man himself. And boy, do I wish I could just punch his face off. He keeps the local street drug on the market for profit and to keep people addicted and stupid. I hope to hell there's some way I can remove him. He seems to be the root of all this nasty business and it would do a lot of people some good if a reform came along in the form of a… well…

Lets just say if someone flat out paid me to snuff the bugger, I'd take the job in a heartbeat.

Maybe one day…

Anyhow. Shit. I feel dirty. Like I ain't ever gonna be able to wash the stink of that hole off'a me. Felt like I had to be a different person there. And I didn't like it. After doing what good I could do, I needed a break. I made it back to Akila. I really do think I'm going to end up settling down here. This city has its quirks, pros and cons. But I like the vibe. Its got a community feel to it. I respect it.

Davis and Keoni are actually speaking to each other now and working as a team of sorts. Still prickly around the edges but it's nice to see they understand the common goal. Keoni has been getting some off readings and Davis has been seeing more indications in his patrols of things not being right. I head out with him to investigate more and sure enough. We run in to a bigger breed of Ashta. An Alpha. Luckily, I've got a fancy new pew-pew machine and take it down before Davis can even get off three shots.

He's thankful he invited me out. We both head back to town and I pass along the info to Keoni so she can further calibrate her data. They both are looking forward to learning more and figuring out how better to protect the city. As it should be.

After that I finally decided to learn a bit more about the Freestar Rangers since that sheriff thought I'd be good material. As a test, they want me to take a job from the board and do some proper Ranger work. Blastin' unjust spacer trash? Shit. I'd almost say ya don't even need to pay me!

The target is in a system I ain't been to, so I've got to jump slow and map out new territory. This brought me to a couple very interesting encounters.

The first was a weird, huge, but weird ship in orbit around a resort planet. Communications are all sorts of scrambled so I let them know I'm going to be docking. Turns out… this is a 200 year old colony ship that left Earth before Grav drives were moved from theory to production! And they just arrived at this planet. They have their sights set to settle here and want my help convincing the current owners to leave. That's a tall order. I say I'll negotiate and do what I can.

Down to the planet I go.

Nice atmosphere. Very tourist-trappy. Not my kinda place. Run by a bunch of prissy, rich execs who are only looking for profit. Ugh.

You should have heard the options they gave me that would be acceptable resolutions to the matter! I almost wanted to blast 'em all as they sat in their chairs. One of 'em was at least concerned with the natural beauty of the planet, but the other two? Rotten apples, through an through.

The only decent soundin' option and the one I ultimately went with was to pop over to another system entirely and speak with a specialist engineer who had a penchant for older tech. Even had a grav drive he could help retrofit. The only catch? I pay for the drive. Well. I ain't about to let a colony ship full of people be indebted servants to some stuck up assclowns. So fork over the money for the drive and get it back to the ship and help the engineer there install it. A nice portly man. I'd love to shoot the shit with him more.

Now, how the captain of the ship had spoke before… it sounded like they weren't gonna take no for an answer about giving up this planet they had their sites on. But apparently being given the option to pretty much go anywhere now has shifted that perspective. Which is fantastic. I was really hopin' to not have to persuade anyone to do anything on this excursion. I bid them farewell and let 'em go on their way.

Continuing my jump to my bounty target I come across two ships in combat. One hails for help and since the other is just Ecliptic pirates, I help blow the ship apart. Then they ask me to board. Weird, but hey, if they want to thank me in person…

Trim's Rules of Space Travel #48.5: If something feels off, roll with your gut. But I boarded anyway.

So, what do you get when you cross three Ryujin Operatives and one Sentient Shipborn Anomaly? You get two aggravated Ryujin Operatives, one dead Ryujin Operative, something near an A.I. that just wants to live and… me. Face palming.

Sometimes I wonder how my life got so… so… I don't even have the words.

Whatever. Since I'm still technically a Ryujin Operative I used that to my advantage. Except these two chucklefucks want me to attach a circuit board to the ships computer so they can get control of the A.I. … I can already see where this is gonna go. And I ain't about to let some shady ass corporation like Ryujin have… whatever the hell this is.

I spend some time conversing with Juno, the sentient… whatever she/it is. Another piece of old-Earth that became something entirely new. From some records I found around the ship it seems that Juno was initially sent out to survey Jupiter, report its findings, then terminate by flying in to the sun. Well, it missed the sun by a margin and instead got catapulted out in to the depths of space and somewhere along the way, the base code evolved and… now we have Juno. Who is very much… to me… a sentient entity.

The reports lean toward believing Juno to be lying when it says it does not feel emotion. There's even a whole log dedicated to how it formulates it's responses and what certain words it uses preceding speech mean.

I don't bother trying to persuade the two operatives. I just shoot them. Ryujin is a ruthless company. Juno deserves to live how it sees fit. I don't gel with the thought of enslaving anything.

Juno has questions. I try to steer it in the spirit of learning, doing good and exploring and finding its own path. We part ways.

I… need a break, man.

I make it to the planet where my bounty is supposedly holed up. I landed a ways away from the abandoned facility so I think I'm just going to take some time and relax. Get my head on straight. Lord knows its been pulled in all sortsa conflicting directions these last few days.

Starting to wonder if that's still me in the mirror, y'know?

Almost makes me want to drink.

Almost.

End log.

[fructo]

Some of the best advice I've ever gotten came from a relative I'd only met for the first time that day. It's the only advice that's stuck with me.

It was about 2 AM and I was 14 or 15, and we'd been at my aunt's house. I was the only kid there, but everyone was a family member and it was sorta nice being able to hang out with the adults away from my siblings.

We were getting ready to leave and they're all still kind of chatting when she looks at me and asks me what book I'd been carrying earlier. It was the unabridged version of The Count of Monte Cristo; we read the abridged version for school and I loved it, so I bought myself the unabridged edition (I've unfortunately never finished it.)

I shyly told her that yes, I like reading. I'd also brought my Switch with me that night because I thought i was gonna be bored. My family is entertaining enough, apparently, when there's alcohol involved.

She then started talking about her boyfriend and how they loved to do nerdy shit (paraphrasing this part) like Dungeons & Dragons, cosplaying, playing video games. At the time I was a little confused because I didn't understand how the conversation shifted on that direction.

But then she kinda stopped, smiled at me. She told me that it may take a while to find the people or person that likes me for me, but those people exist. She told me that I don't have to change myself or my interests in order to fit into someone's standards, that I was okay. I was okay to like the "nerdy" stuff I enjoyed, I was okay to be happy. It took her a while to find that person and her friends, but she did.

This conversation has stuck with me, and even though I've never seen her since that night, I still am shocked by how comforting her words were. She was the only person in my life—and mind you, this was the first time I've met her—to ever tell me that I was okay for just being me. The only person who hasn't tried to change me ("oh but you would look so cute in this instead!!"), judge me ("it's weird for you to like [x] but when I like [x] it's perfectly fine!!"), or insult me (I am unappreciative, annoying, ignorant.).

I dunno why this came to me all of a sudden, but today was the first day I've ever felt comfortable with just being me. The pain in my chest was gone, and I could breathe again. It only lasted a brief moment, before the weight of my existence came crashing down and I realized I didn't really have anyone to share my happiness with.

But I'm okay.

I tell myself that this isn't my place. My time here is temporary, a finite moment that can be calculated. It's tangible. The end is near. I try to be realistic, keep my head out of the clouds, but thinking about leaving and seeking out my people bubbles up all the time.

The place where I don't carefully pick and choose what parts of myself to talk about. The people who don't make fun of me for being sensitive or emotional. People who don't make fun of me for frying. The people who can recognize what jokes I actually enjoy and what jokes make me uncomfortable. The people who understand.

And I know. I know that there's really a small chance of finding that perfect microcosm, but is it really so bad to hope? Is it so bad to want that for myself? Perhaps it is intangible, but I used to be a dreamer. I miss that girl who used to dream.

So I cling to that memory, that mantra, whenever I think about laughing at a joke that makes me uncomfortable or I listen to my friends talk about stuff they know I have no experience in. I remind myself that I might not fit perfectly here, and I never have. This has never been my place.

But my place is out there. Whether it's alone and at peace with myself, or with the people I might call family regardless of our relationship, it's out there.

I just need to be patient.

[eldritchamy]

more hypno kink ask if that's ok! i am into it and want to be hypnotized but i have no idea where to go to make that happen... it seems you have firsthand experience, if you're willing to share? if not feel free to delete! just wondering where and how you were able to be hypnotized?

The unfortunate answer is I've never actually done it in person, and almost all of my experience has been with more sleep aid type content. I've really never done KINKY hypnosis.

I'd LOVE to have more experience with it, but I haven't really had anyone offer to do it, and the online options for it are not tailored to a personalized experience and, if you watch them from the wrong person, can be dangerous, irresponsible, or abusive.

Even if you find a safe source for that content, the results are going to be very hit or miss, because there's no one making sure the induction is happening for you at the right pace, or making sure it's working for you.

There was a therapist on youtube I watched some videos from and while there was educational value to her content, the inductions she demonstrated were all like 3 to 5 minutes in and out, and for me that's like "lady, what do you MEAN wake up feeling alert and refreshed, my brain has barely hit the FOREPLAY stage here and you're already done?"

I'd love to find someone who's willing to do it with me someday. Not even for horny reasons, I just think it feels neat all by itself, and sometimes it's nice to make your brain turn off.

I had a therapist try it on me once, but A, she was a scriptnotist and not very good at it, and B, this was before I started HRT and I was way too nervous about getting turned on by the concept to get into it at all, so it didn't have ANY effect on me at all.

My next therapist after her (my favorite therapist I've ever had and I miss her DEARLY, she was incredible) tried something with me once that I'm PRETTY SURE was meant as a fixation induction (staring at a point on the carpet), but she was sneaky about it and only ever did it the one time. I think she figured I either didn't really get into trance from it or I was thoughtful and introspective and open enough with her that there was no need to bother with it anyway.

Only other experience with hypnosis has been online, and I would strongly caution you AGAINST doing that recklessly, because you really don't know anything about the person on the other side of that, and should NEVER let someone you don't know you can trust play around with your suggestible brain.

There were a few different creators I used to loosely follow, but I haven't watched any of their videos in years and can't really make any recommendations for you.

The Secret Subject was probably the best of those, and definitely the one I'd feel safest recommending because she's a serious, licensed educator on the subject and is hugely, emphatically big on consent in hypnosis, and has a very queer community, but she purged most of her old videos from youtube and her newer stuff has a very different vibe from what I'm interested in. You can check her out if you want, she's safe. She has a great voice for it, too.

There was another channel I used to use for specifically helping with sleep (again, noisy brain problems), but I would absolutely NOT recommend that channel because I stopped trusting them a while back. I don't really get deep enough into trance to stop having a layer of my brain that's still active, so there's a part of me that's always paying attention, even while hypnotized. I'm a very slow and difficult subject and in the experience I've had so far, nobody is putting any post-hypnotic suggestions in me unless I allow them to. I noticed something about two of their videos that struck me as a predatory tactic that they were almost certainly using to find people who would be targets for manipulation, which sucks. So I stopped watching their stuff years ago.

So I've BEEN hypnotized a few times, but not in a way that I can really make any reasonable recommendations to anyone about it. The best experience you're gonna have with it is in person (so the tist can pay attention to YOUR responses and cater the experience to YOU) with someone that you are absolutely certain you can trust.

How to find IRL partners who are willing to do it with you, and are people you can trust? I can't answer that one.

[tiktaaliker]

sometimes I like to look on genius lyrics to remind myself how people are sooooo wrong about the themes and motifs in everything everything's music

[miserable-sarah]

The Date

Pairings: Sam x Reader warnings: None Requested: Hello! Your fanfics are sensational and I get lost in your stories, especially Sam's. I would like to ask for a story inspired by dandelions song between Sam Winchester x reader, very cute and romantic.

~

You look at yourself in the mirror for the 10th time, you fix your dress, you fluff your hair, you stand there and practice your smile. You don't like the way your hair looks, you think your make up could look better. You sigh and flop on the bed.

"You look fine!" Cas whines. You have him 'trapped' in your room so he can tell you if you need to change anything but he's getting annoyed because you don't believe him anyway.

"Sam told me to dress nice." You tell Cas, you sigh again getting off the bed. Cas grabs your hands.

"Y/n, you look perfect. I promise."

"Thanks Cas." You smile at him "You can leave if you want." You giggle. Cas leaves the room, you look at yourself again and take a deep breath. You're not sure what Sam has planned your dates are usually casual sometimes when it's an important date they're a little fancier. You walk downstairs, you see Dean and Cas sitting down at the table talking about whatever.

"You look great!" Dean says smiling.

"Did Cas tell you to say that?" You smirk at him.

"Wh-what!? Of course not!" Dean chuckles

"Okay." You tease "Thank you."

"Sam gave me this." Dean hands you a letter, you look at it confused and open it. 'Meet me at the first spot I laid eyes on you.' You smiled to yourself knowing where to go.

"I'll take you." Dean says hoping out of his chair walking up the stairs, you follow behind him.

"We have to go to the beach." You say getting butterflies. "So, what's he planning?" You ask Dean. You know Sam is up to something and you know Dean knows.

"I don't know." Dean says quickly not moving his eyes from the road.

"Dean.. I know you know."

"No, no I don't." He says matter of factly.

"you're not going to tell me?"

"I wouldn't even be able to if I wanted because I don't know."

"Fine." You cross your arms. You're not against surprises you love them, it's just you're so nervous and you don't know why. Sam is the best boyfriend you've ever had, he cares for you deeply, he pays attention, he helps you when you're down, he cheers you up, he makes your days so much brighter, he is your forever. You honestly don't know where you'd be without which scares you but makes you feel safer with him. You know he would never do anything to hurt you. You can't believe how lucky you got, someone was listening to your wishes.

"We're here." Dean stops with a huge smile. When you get out of the car your body is shaking you're so nervous. You don't even know why. You can see lights lighting up the walkway, you smile at how beautiful they are. You slowly walk down a few stairs and walk on the path, you see rose petals spread out everywhere, you can't help the big smile on your face, your heart is pounding in your ears.

You see Sam standing by the beach with flowers in his hand, theres a table set up in the sand with champagne waiting to be popped. You can hear Dandelions by Ruth B. being played in the background. You smile and walk towards him.

(Song)

"Sam, this is wow." You say not even having words. You gasp loudly when you see Sam get down on one knee.

"Y/n Y/L/N" He starts, he pulls out a little black box "I saw you here 2 years ago, the moment I saw you I knew I wanted you to be mine. I knew I had to have you. I got so shy walking up to you I stuttered just saying hello." You both giggle. "The look in your eyes when you saw me, it was nothing I've ever seen. From that day we've been best friends, unfortunately I was scared because of my job and that held me back, but you reassured me you'd be fine by tactling me to the ground." You laugh again. "And at that moment I knew I wanted you for the rest of my life, I knew you were the one for me, I knew I'd be forever happy with you in my life so," He opens the box revealing a beautiful ring inside. "Y/n, will you please marry me?"

Your hand is covering your mouth, you have tears flowing down your cheeks. "Yes! Yes!" You squeal with excitement. Same carefully places the ring on your finger you can hear Dean and Cas cheering in the background, he hugs you tightly swirling you around.

"I can't believe we're engaged!" You kiss him, he kisses you back passionately. "I love you so much, Sam."

"I love you more than words can describe." Sam pops the champagne and hands you a glass. "To the future Mrs. Winchester!" Dean joins in on the toast. You smile to yourself just think how lucky you really are. You are going to marry Sam Winchester.

[ninjakk]

Hi! I wanted to ask you something that’s been bugging me for a while: I want to know who’s the oldest between wx, and, for a long time, I thought it was WWX, since he says that they met when they were 15 and it was spring (then, LWJ was the youngest because his birthday is on January) but I remembered that MXTX uses the chinese age with Jin Ling (the text says JL is 15, but he should be 13 chronologically) so I don’t know if it was used with wx too. I think the characters for occidental/oriental age are different but I know -10 of chinese🤔who do you think is the oldest? The thought of them actually meeting at 13-14 is funny, though xD

Hi Anon,

Well, I'd have to say LWJ is older than WWX, because WWX has called him 'WangJi-xiong' in the past, as well as 'Lan Er-Ge' and 'Lan Er-Gege' which are all used to address someone older than you. Unfortunately I don't speak or read much Chinese at all. But as far as I'm aware; Both Xiong and Ge/Gege mean 'older brother' - the latter is just less formal, more cute/flirty way of doing so.

I'm not sure if MXTX gave LWJ a birth date - I've only ever seen her attribute one to WWX in an interview 🤔

So I would have to assume LWJ is older, because of the honorifics WWX uses for him ☺️

I think if you do the math (which isn't my strong point mind! 🤣), WX are definitely 15/16 when they meet. WWX had been guarding his first kiss for 20 years, and that was 5 years after they first met. Also, they both have courtesy names. MXTX said she lowered this from the usual age of 20 to 15 to fit in with the story.

.

As for JL... * Scribbles down numbers like a mad scientist - akin to what I imagine WWX was like while inventing things in the Demon-Slaughtering Cave... *

At the start of the novel JC confirms JL is going to turn 15 that year - so he's a little younger. Since he said "15 this year" he might have only just turned 14 as well. So I think this adds up nearly, give or take a few months? The first siege at the Burial Mounds was "nearly three months later" after the Bloodbath of Nightless City. Since JL was just over a month old when JYL died, he'd be around 4 months at the time of WWXs demise. With us not knowing exactly when WWXs was reborn within the thirteenth year since his death - this could add up to the extra months, rounding everything off nicely to coincide with JL being 14 at the start of the novel.

You are right, the traditional Chinese method of counting a person's age is a little different. You're 1 at birth instead of being 0. It gets a little complicated after that, because they then add another year onto that age once the child reaches their first Luna New Year as well. So depending on what month you are born, you could be classed as 2 pretty early on! Even though you would be technically perhaps less than 1 by modern calculations. After your first Luna Year, your age is then calculated by the turn of each new Luna Year. So it will be a year in between thereafter, if that makes sense. But as far as I'm aware, MXTX did not use this method when giving her characters their ages. I think this might stem from people being a bit confused with JLs ages - but hopefully the above helps to clear this up a little.

Just to further support my musings! If MXTX had used the traditional Chinese method for everyone's age, A-Yuan would have been too young to act the way he did when the novel states he was "one or two" years old. Because he was able to walk, talk and play very competently - making me assume he was definitely older than if his age was being calculated the traditional way.

As for WX meeting when they are a little older, I'm rather glad to be honest! Especially considering some of the sexual tension and flirtatious behaviour at times over their youth 😂

Anyway! I hope I managed to answer your question Anon 🤗

Me trying to line up JLs age with WWX's resurrection... 🤣

[falderaletcetera]

oooh, enjoy the listen through!

so I'm happy to talk about it (tagging @eyrieofsynapses who expressed interest), but heads up that this is lovingly and respectfully tscosi-critical; there's no obligation to engage.

but, for myself at least, I think it's good stuff to be aware of.

basically all of this comes courtesy of this post / also on Ao3 / shorter version with tldr at the end - I recommend reading, but even the short version is pretty long and deals with a few other topics, so from memory and in my own words:

I gather that ptsd flashbacks involving violence are rare, and ptsd flashbacks involving lethal violence are vanishingly rare, whereas portrayals of ptsd in the media have happily and frequently shown this for decades, colouring people's perceptions of the condition and perpetuating a pretty dangerous myth. (this is the article about ptsd myths that tunedtostatic references - it's #4 on the list, and it describes the S2 arkady incident... closely.)

so arkady having a flashback and almost murdering krejjh - and later describing herself as a time bomb - isn't particularly accurate, and isn't great to see when it's already such a common trope. and then we have mccabe's involvement.

and, okay, I like what they intended with that and didn't question it at first, but mccabe manages and successfully de-escalates the situation by levelling a gun at the person having a ptsd freakout, and keeping it pointed at her while threatening to (non-lethally) shoot her, and, just, oh man. with the state of various policing institutions and their mishandling of people with mental illnesses and neurodivergences, including ptsd, this is not a great solution to show us working. I don't think pointing a gun at someone who's feeling profoundly unsafe, who's stuck in that place of fear for their very survival, is a good way to calm them down.

(the problem is I really do like what they were intending! it's a nice moment of the two characters understanding each other, sort of. plus, frankly, some of my first fanfic was winter soldier stuff, and I enjoy characters with the "is dangerous and has baggage about it" character trait; this kind of situation is something I've seen before and appreciate, and something I am now questioning and seriously reassessing in my own writing. it's tricky.)

((frustratingly, for me, the show had already introduced a way for arkady to realise that she needs help when confronted with it properly, and it's her losing time. dissociating that badly in a city that's being actively bombed would be dangerous for her and concerning for the others, could well require people coming to find her, and even krejjh freaking her out further and maybe mccabe managing to get through to her and get her moving. I've got this mentally filed as something I kinda want to write as a fix-it if my brain ever plays ball, but that's not likely to happen, and I'd clearly have more research to do first.))

this fits, unfortunately, with a pattern of the show being patchy about disability issues. to be clear, I think the show's intent is very good: they were so good about violet's anxiety (she put into words stuff I'd never even tried to articulate), sana's depression was handled with similar compassion, they brought in a writer who's great at this stuff for Deep Breath specifically, and I saw them looking on here for disability consults for season three.

but. we do also have the "mercy killing" of someone who would have had to deal with post-concussion symptoms and wouldn't be able to afford painkillers, implicitly supported by even sana, which feels so wrong to me. I'd have been a bit happier if they just framed it as a security issue, honestly. and there's another thing in the S2 finale where brian needing to stay on a planet for a while is framed as "he would be a drain on resources and risk other people's lives," which I imagine was a bit of a punch for some folks to hear, and not just "he needs regular access to oxygen, and flying around on adventures would risk his life significantly more than usual." (tunedtostatic also makes a good point that figuring out how to accomodate brian on the ship could well help accomodate others, potentially saving more lives down the road.)

...sidenote, but I'm still figuring out how to discuss fandom stuff that isn't entirely positive, so please excuse any understatement or weird phrasing.

needless to say I still love and appreciate this show but I'm glad I read the criticism I did! it's a shame the S2 finale relies on this as much as it does, because the rest of it is so good.

I'm gonna start TSCoSI again because I've been thinking about it for weeks, but @falderaletcetera you had some Thoughts about Arkady and McCabe and the trauma of it all in the s2 finale that I'd love to hear more of if you'll allow me to prompt you.

Sorry for not asking when you mentioned it, things got away from me, but it's definitely been on my mind.

[baekhvuns]

Rip Baek, they wanna make you an American football stan 🤡 I never understood Super Bowl tbh, some performances aren't even good anyway

Lol you're saying the Mbappe x RM saga will finally end? If he plays and behaves well be my guest, but it's on sight Kylian!!!

It's always sad seeing top players struggle in the NTs, because they're doing all the work. The disproportion is really big. I can't blame other players since a lot of them don't play in CL clubs, but it's so embarrassing sometimes 😭

So brother Baek could've been a cricket star?! Omg damn that injury sounds nasty though. I don't know shit about cricket actually. Tbf my wrist was already twisted because of another evil team ball sport called HANDBALL. My spaghetti arms couldn't take it lolol, I'm decent at basketball though! I did break two of my fingers while playing, but 😅

Pique thinks he's a spy or a detective trying to "expose" RM every 4 months, let it go... I can't believe Shakira got with him, girl??? I had to show some of the best football moments to my ignorant USA friend and I ofc sent her the Zidane headbutt and Suarez biting, culture <3

It happens every year so I don't think Salah cares? Good for him, but on the other hand I'd just stop posting at this point, cause the comments are getting worse and worse

Harry Kane being a disappointment isn't anything new lmao. Believe it or not, but I unfortunately have some Spurs fans among my friends and they're often mad at him

Omg, yeah see suddenly everyone knows everyone. Bestie I don't go to weddings, but I probably heard the songs you've mentioned, got me all curious 👀 Riverdale was filmed near you?! I'm so sorry, that's so bad 😩

Is the Yunho fic hot & cold too then? How's it going?

Hwa is a mystery, because no way he wouldn't be able to take Hongjoong down. Sometimes he does this though, soooo 🤔 runner Hwa AU... I'm manifesting

I hope Hwa will be able to attend EXO's concert 🤞🏻 I wouldn't mind a free ticket either, heh. Uhmmm wow, Neymar Jeongin stan... I better not see him at EXO World though

That radio clip of Seonghwa, I'm starting at nose ☺

Seonghwa stans Taemin and Taemin is Jesus, Taemin has passed his role to Seonghwa! But why did Woo say the choreography is tough, but Hwa said otherwise lmao. Maybe Seonghwa isn't doing anything 😭

Btw this person spoke the truth a fear, but they're booing them ausyshshjsjsjsbababsb. If they saw our opinions ☠ can't say shit on that app, because everything is anti behaviour

Halazia on the other hand seems nice, at least in contrast to Paradgim, idk if I'll be obsessed cause I'm used to them spoiling half the song so I'm not sure how I feel yet ajuduwuwsjjsjssjs, but everyone's already calling it SOTY ofc 😭 the performance spoilers what's going oooooon, feathers?! My issue is the cb is at 6am my time AGAIN???!!!! What happened to later comebacks, fuck America I know it's all for Billboard!!! 😭

LMAO gitl, so someone asked if the person on my lockscreen was my girlfriend??? And it's Christmas kitty Hwa I almost died

Oh he... yeah so anyway 🧍🏼‍♀️🧎🏼‍♀️

ALSO MINGI'S HAIR IS YELLOW AND RED AGAIN AAAAAAAA

Wait what's the god save the queen option about 😭 anyways I'm a communist, honestly I got called one more times that I can count so 🤷🏼‍♀️

Oh no Baeksy, HUI ON BOYS PLANET AS A CONTESTANT??? HE GOT RELEASED FOR THIS?! 😭😭😭😭🔪🔪🔪🔪 - DV 💖

hi helloo!!

Rip Baek, they wanna make you an American football stan 🤡 I never understood Super Bowl tbh, some performances aren't even good anyway //// Lol you're saying the Mbappe x RM saga will finally end? If he plays and behaves well be my guest, but it's on sight Kylian!!!

LMFAOOOO 😭😭😭 u will never catch me being one <3 id probably get whooped if i ever put on the american football in this ethnic household fbwndbej,,,, i AM SAYING PERHAPS partially bc at psg he gets the recognition and if he were to move it,,, he’d have to share it the spotlight but since he gets his fair share of it psg iM HYPOTHESIZING that he will not leave unless ronaldo pulls up that is dbd  

and also pelé??? 😭😭🤚🏻 vivienne westwood???

It's always sad seeing top players struggle in the NTs, because they're doing all the work. The disproportion is really big. I can't blame other players since a lot of them don't play in CL clubs, but it's so embarrassing sometimes 😭

yEAAAH! it’s cringe to even watch, i skipped so many of porto’s matches bc of it inconsistency in the plays and the ups and downs,,, if i compare them to argentina u could tell they all worked in a TEAM even if they got messi in, for porto it was like ronaldo was the only one being the definition of TEAM but when he’s benched it just crumbled,,, but i guess a lot of them have an experience now and hopefully put up a great fight next wc!

So brother Baek could've been a cricket star?! Omg damn that injury sounds nasty though. I don't know shit about cricket actually. Tbf my wrist was already twisted because of another evil team ball sport called HANDBALL. My spaghetti arms couldn't take it lolol, I'm decent at basketball though! I did break two of my fingers while playing, but 😅

fhandhwk nO bc we were REALLY onto him being one but then everyone kept pressuring him saying you’d be on tv and then the ball hit his nose and made a bump on it and it was determined he would never <3 dbwnbdsn no its ok cricket’s like football, if u watch it u can tell exactly what’s going on! LMFAOOOO GTFO HANDBALLS SO MUCH FUN HOW THE FUCK DO U FUCK UR WRIST UP PLAYING THAT ANON U MUST BE TWISTING IT AND HITTING ALL THE SCORES 😭😭😭 ronaldo + lewa possessed u i tell u, STOPPP??? ANON??? I WISH U SAW MY FACE WHEN I READ THAT 😭😭😭 anon hOW stop did the ball jam really hard and ur body just gave up 😭😭

Pique thinks he's a spy or a detective trying to "expose" RM every 4 months, let it go… I can't believe Shakira got with him, girl??? I had to show some of the best football moments to my ignorant USA friend and I ofc sent her the Zidane headbutt and Suarez biting, culture <3

NO SRS I WONT BE SURPRISED IF HES SOME TABLOID SOLELY MADE TO EXPOSE RM 😭😭😭 no bc theres like compilations of shakira destroying pique’s emotions and its so funny to watch after the shit he’s done, deserved 🤩 RBQMDBWMCKCK STOP U SHOWED THE BEST THINGS STOP IT FNFNJCKC CULTURE !!!!! CORRECT !!!! literally no one remembers the winners it’s just the headbutt, he def cursed italy ever since dbdb did u show the pep ramos duo 🔫

It happens every year so I don't think Salah cares? Good for him, but on the other hand I'd just stop posting at this point, cause the comments are getting worse and worse

yeah!! like i get religion but ppl also celebrate christmas,,, AND halloween?? it’s not like he’s disrespecting his own religion?? bro just wants to have a good time 😭😭😭 he's having a great season so far too now!

Harry Kane being a disappointment isn't anything new lmao. Believe it or not, but I unfortunately have some Spurs fans among my friends and they're often mad at him Omg, yeah see suddenly everyone knows everyone. Bestie I don't go to weddings, but I probably heard the songs you've mentioned, got me all curious 👀 Riverdale was filmed near you?! I'm so sorry, that's so bad 😩

LMFAOOOO i believe it 100% bc my english cousins were like “disappointed but not surprised actually” 😭😭 omg u must’ve heard his songs! if u didnt go to a hindu wedding bdbd if u watched the movie happy new year? with srk, there’s a track called lovely i think he produced it, he’s worked w/ mr snoop before! tho is songs are primarily from early 20’s! YEAH TRAGIC !!!! ABSOLUTELY TRAGIC I TELL U, constant memories of im a weirdo 🔫🔫

Is the Yunho fic hot & cold too then? How's it going? /// Hwa is a mystery, because no way he wouldn't be able to take Hongjoong down. Sometimes he does this though, soooo 🤔 runner Hwa AU… I'm manifesting

it is hot & cold! banter and silly arguments and a reincarnation of betty white as yunho’s grandmother like the proposal <3 yEAH LIKE NO WAY??? is he just masking his strongness under the humble, nice, oldest persona,,, need him to throw hands,,, runner hwa au,, where he asks the ostracized, once track prodigy for help who shuns him away <3 readers older too!

I hope Hwa will be able to attend EXO's concert 🤞🏻 I wouldn't mind a free ticket either, heh. Uhmmm wow, Neymar Jeongin stan… I better not see him at EXO World though

I HOPE HE DO BC IM EXPECTING HIM TO BE THERE 🔫🔫🔫 BFMWBDKSBDKCKC free ticket is what im hoping for atm bc ik im not getting the tickets 😭😭 they do a raffle thing too all my hope is for that,,, FBWMBDWKKCKC  neymar a kai stan?? 😵‍💫😵‍💫

That radio clip of Seonghwa, I'm starting at nose ☺ //// Seonghwa stans Taemin and Taemin is Jesus, Taemin has passed his role to Seonghwa! But why did Woo say the choreography is tough, but Hwa said otherwise lmao. Maybe Seonghwa isn't doing anything 😭

ANONNNN

taemin is the son of jesus, need to witness him live so bad ill make him my religion on spot fbfb SEONGHWA BECAME JESUS

i am gonna stop

i logged into twt and i

i

how

what THE fUCK

Btw this person spoke the truth a fear, but they're booing them ausyshshjsjsjsbababsb. If they saw our opinions ☠ can't say shit on that app, because everything is anti behaviour

they so brave for this bc its no one would wanna admit,, UTOPIA SUPREMACY!!!! LMFAOOOO the comment just under the post 😭😭😭😭

Halazia on the other hand seems nice, at least in contrast to Paradgim, idk if I'll be obsessed cause I'm used to them spoiling half the song so I'm not sure how I feel yet ajuduwuwsjjsjssjs, but everyone's already calling it SOTY ofc 😭 the performance spoilers what's going oooooon, feathers?! My issue is the cb is at 6am my time AGAIN???!!!! What happened to later comebacks, fuck America I know it's all for Billboard!!! 😭

sEEE NOW its def better than paradigm, i do dislike the “hala hala hala halzia” i prefer just the “halaziA” they do with their voices and it’s oomph 🤌🏻 the beat at hongjoong’s rap was sICK,, for a moment the beat drop was like the same type of music as dazzling light bUTTT it was good!! jongho’s vocals great i do think mayhaps there couldve been a chorus where they all sing together and it would be chills w the drop,, it was an almost anti drop in the first half,, ur opinions on it??

LMAO gitl, so someone asked if the person on my lockscreen was my girlfriend??? And it's Christmas kitty Hwa I almost died //// Oh he…  yeah so anyway 🧍🏼‍♀️🧎🏼‍♀️ALSO MINGI'S HAIR IS YELLOW AND RED AGAIN AAAAAAAA

LMFAOOOO RHQKDHQKHDKW UR GIRLFRIEND IS SEONGHWA !!!!! SCREAMING DHDJDJDJ£|€£\€\ IM NOT EVEN LOOKING AT HIM IM STUCK ON UR STORY STOP THATS HILARIOUS DHDJ

Wait what's the god save the queen option about 😭 anyways I'm a communist, honestly I got called one more times that I can count so 🤷🏼‍♀️

A COMMUNIST 😭😭😭😭 i am a christmas enthusiast <3 heres another!

Oh no Baeksy, HUI ON BOYS PLANET AS A CONTESTANT??? HE GOT RELEASED FOR THIS?! 😭😭😭😭🔪🔪🔪🔪 - DV 💖

NO CAUSE???? WHAT THE HELL???? 😭😭😭😭😭  

bro’s acting

is this not ceo hwa

and im afraid that arrange marriage fic is topping the tier atm…

ikon freedom era and bp going black label?? what IS GOING ON BFFB

AND A POST MALONE SONG FOR ATTEEZ IM GONNA START SCREAMINNNNG oh its not with hwa 😭😭😭😭

[marcholasmoth]

OSRR: 3015

guess all i needed was to complain one too many times about not being able to think to be able to think. figures, right?

i was able to write a message to my classmates and start doing research and make a bibliography for my part of the capstone project. i'm glad to be doing things.

also?????? someone at northeastern's financial aid department was exuding major big dick energy today because my application for my student loan (the second one) (the one i submitted yesterday that got sent to the school TODAY) got approved and certified within half an hour of being submitted. i have dispersal dates, too. i'm gonna be able to get new tires. but more importantly, i'll be able to pay for my classes!!! i just need to accost someone to waive the healthcare bullshit for me. because for real???? i don't need northeastern healthcare. i don't go to the school. i don't live near campus. i don't go to campus. ever. the one time i'll go near campus is for graduation in may, and maybe once before that if i can't get my problems solved over the phone. but then i'll be their problem! i'll sit on a desk and cross my legs and get leaves and shit on their paperwork until they fix it! i won't actually do that, not literally because as my mom stated yesterday i'm "too nice," but it's a nice thought. i'm not like that. which is unfortunate for every problem i've ever had. but it's nice to have advocates and people who will help me not be abused and mistreated, whether at work or in general. it's nice to have people in my corner. which is fuckin wild.

also i sat and worked with nancy for a couple hours today on biology. it's a lot of words that definitely aren't english and concepts that are still foreign to me despite having taken it before, but i don't care. i'd walk across hot coals for nancy and her family. for real. she's a delight and deserves to do well in everything.

this morning i went with my mom to the quilt shop in goffstown, where we dropped off the quilt top she just made and picked the quilting design and the thread color. she has me go with her because i have a good eye for it and she can't see things in her head. for both the pattern and the string, we went with both of my first picks. i love being right.

after the quilt shop mom and i went to ihop where our waitress was also named molly and who ALSO applied to go to grad school at northeastern but decided to go somewhere else because of how expensive it is. i'm like "hah, yeah, it's expensive all right lmao." so that was fun.

so the day went awake, shower, dressed, quilt shop, breakfast, i had mom bring me to joel's so i could pick up my chargers and let the doggo out, we took the long way home, stopped to buy pumpkins, stopped to look for plants, stopped for ice cream, finally actually went home, sat down and worked, went to work with nancy, and then came back to town to hang out with the eggs. we went to shaws for ice cream sundae supplies and then the wilton house of pizza for dinner, and we stopped at home to eat with mom because we got her stuff too. we got back to the eggs and eggy and i watched the first six episodes of the dragon prince s4 which is SO GOOD. i'm yelling. anyway, it's really good.

but now i'm home and in bed and it's late and i am so excited to sleep.

but also since joel and his dad and MY dad are at the same convention, joel sent me a picture of my papa from the back and papa sent me a text saying he'd seen joel and his dad at a table playing. it was so funny to just see a picture of my dad at some random place from joel, who also happened to be there. 🤣🤣🤣

[canonicallyanxious]

hi! saw your last anon and sorry if this is annoying, but just wanted to ask u a question. i don’t know anything about d20 (assuming it’s like a d&d game) but i did watch all the free game changer episodes on yt and i’m lowkey obsessed and want more. is d20 the same kind of vibe, assuming it’s the same people? for someone who isn’t and has never played d&d would you reccommend starting d20? i kinda don’t want to pay for dropout, so maybe i’ll start with that :) have a nice day!

not an annoying question don't worry!! in fact i feel like i have to apologize in turn because i already know i'm going to be incapable of being normal about answering this question lol but me being verbose as hell on main, what else is new, etc. etc.

Re: whether d20 has a similar vibe to game changer -

so i'd say you're right in that d20 involves many of the people that are featured on game changer since they're both produced by collegehumor/dropout. as you might know Brennan Lee Mulligan who appears pretty often on game changer is the main DM for d20, and since d20 is an anthology show the casts rotate out every season but one of the most frequently recurring casts incudes Zac Oyama, Ally Beardsley, and Lou Wilson who are also pretty frequent guests of game changer [the others were also involved with Collegehumor at some point, can't remember if they've been on gc tho]. collegehumor folks sometimes appear in other seasons as well - for example rekha shenkar and lily du have been in multiple d20 seasons, jess ross and mike trapp have also featured, and there's even one season that's oops all collegehumor folks called Mice and Murder which is basically holmesian style turn of the century murder mystery but everyone is an anthropomorphized animal [dropout exclusive but the first ep is on the d20 yt channel]. so if you vibe with the humor and the personalities of the people who feature a lot on game changer, it's likely you will vibe with the humor and tone of d20 too!

that said, given that game changer is styled after a traditional competitive game show and d20 is an actual play show where people play tabletop rpgs together they are very different in the sense of genre. d20, while largely improvised [which believe me is a fact that will probably be hard to believe when watching it but is entirely true], is very much a collaborative storytelling effort between the people involved and makes very concerted efforts to present a tight and cohesive narrative through their seasons. so d20 is great if you like fictional narratives and fun and colorful characters, but if you want more traditionally unscripted content like gamechanger i recommend checking out:

dirty laundry [which is actually a spin-off of a gamechanger episode; hosted by Lily Du, first ep available on the CH yt channel]

make some noise [unfortunately i think right now all the make some noise eps are also dropout exclusive, here i have linked to the trailer, but it is another spinoff based on this honestly iconic game changer ep wherein Josh Ruben, Brennan Lee Mulligan, and Zac Oyama make weird sounds at each other and it's the funniest thing in the world]

Um, Actually [nerdy trivia game show hosted by Mike Trapp]

Rank Room [fyi it's an older show and they don't make it anymore but i still think it's a fun watch; hosted by Katie Marovich]

[do u see what i mean. i thought this first question would be a short answer skdfjnsdkjfnsdns so uh deep apologies for what will come after this bc i have THOUGHTS about your second question]

Re: would i recommend d20 for someone who has no experience with d&d -

short answer: yes absolutely 100%.

long answer: why do i so enthusiastically recommend d20 for people who have never played dnd? because i am a people who has never played dnd and d20 is one of my favorite shows ever! tbh i do think i am kind of biased as d20 is really the only actual play show i've ever been able to get into and i'm sure there are plenty of other shows out there that work for other people [if you're a podcast person for example you have tons of good options, i however am Not] but there are a number of reasons why I personally enjoy d20 as an actual play show:

I often struggle with other actual play shows because of how long and meandering they are. I think this is more of a personal preference thing because even when reading/watching more traditional forms of media i always tend to prefer tighter narratives with a clear ending in mind [e.g a 3 season show with a good finale is more compelling to me than an ongoing 10 season show with no ending in sight] but because d20 is an anthology show and each season is more or less a self-contained story aside from the few sequels i find it much easier to keep my attention on the episodes. to be sure the eps are still quite long, most ranging from 1.5-2 hours, but brennan + the other dms they feature on d20 do a really good job of keeping the pace moving while still giving the players freedom to explore the world and make their own narrative choices [which i think is one big appeal actual play shows has over other forms of media, the improvised and collaborative nature of the storytelling versus something that's already been fully scripted beforehand].

another thing i struggle with is how cumbersome dnd combat can be, personally i don't think it's the most accessible especially for people who have no ttrpg experience but d20's combat actually works pretty well for me because 1. they plan their combats before the season starts and especially in the earlier seasons of d20 they stuck pretty strictly to alternating between roleplay versus combat episodes so it's easier for me when i know kind of what to expect and 2. because they plan their combats in advance they are able to build INCREDIBLE custom battle sets with custom minis [shout out to Rick Perry!] and for me the visuals really help me keep my attention on the combat versus when combat is more theater of the mind [which to be clear does sometimes still happen in d20]. Tbh i still think combat can be a little clunky especially in the earlier seasons of d20 but i think the show has always gone to a lot of effort to create really creative and engaging combats for both the players and the audience and as it's gone on they've only gotten better at achieving this

in that vein i think the fact that d20 is 1. entirely filmed and 2. edited very well is VERY helpful for someone like me who has traditionally struggled with podcasts because the lack of visual context makes it hard to stay focused. as far as the editing goes i know some people prefer more of a livestream feel but just for me personally having the editing and the different camera angles and the sound cues and the music [d20 is really good at picking royalty free music for their soundtracks btw may i just say] gives me something more concrete to focus on and keeps it more visually interesting. and i do feel that they still make an effort to preserve the more natural/organic feel of ttrpgs by limiting their cuts story wise and focusing a lot on player reactions in the moment so for me it kind of hits the best of both worlds!

personally i think the choice for d20 to cast a lot of talented improv comedians is fucking inspired, especially when the show is so comedy-oriented. improv comedians are good at making bold choices on their feet, crafting rich characters while improvising their dialogue on the spot, and collaborating with each other, which are all skills that are very helpful for an actual play show context and everyone they cast on d20 is SO talented at all of these things. there are some players on d20 who also have little to no experience with dnd [notably Ally Beardsley has only ever officially played dnd on camera for d20; Rekha Shenkar and Mike Trapp in Escape From the Bloodkeep were also very new to dnd at the time] which on the one hand i think helps audience members like me who are inexperienced with dnd knowing some of the players are in the same boat but also they tend to make some of the wildest most out of the box choices as a result of being new to the game. so i think ultimately it's just a really fun combination and it's so much fun to watch in action!

and just a few more reasons why I consider d20 a favorite in a more general sense:

I mean Brennan Lee Mulligan as d20's main DM is a HUGE draw of d20 in my opinion. like if you were already a fan of him from game changer or other college humor content i think you will especially appreciate him in d20 because he is absolutely in his element here. actually last year i made a ppt for my friends about why i like d20 so much so here is a relevant excerpt:

i want to emphasize that d20 is a comedy-oriented show so tonally comedy is what it will prioritize. however i also want to emphasize that this does not mean it pulls any punches with the emotional depths it's able to reach. the themes and the worlds and the characters are SO rich and complex and compelling and I think i have experienced basically every human emotion and then some while watching this show. i also think it's incredibly character driven and does an amazing job of prioritizing character and relationship development and player agency, which is one of my favorite things to see in any kind of show!

and conceptually i just think it's so much fucking fun! it being an anthology show means there is something in here for everyone but i have enjoyed every season i have watched immensely [which is all of them except for one!] and have found it remarkably easy to become invested in every single one. you want to know what it would be like if dnd took place in a john hughes style teenage coming of age movie? or what if lord of the rings was about the bad guys but also it’s a workplace comedy? or how about an urban fantasy story set in modern day new york with a secret sixth borough hidden away in the world of dreams? you can have it all and more from d20! and this is just the seasons that are available on yt for FREE there are so many other cool and fun stories and worlds and dms to engage with!!!

tl;dr it's a good show and i like it very very much thank you for coming to my ted talk

[pigletxpoohbear]

I saw you asking for requests and wondered if you could do headcanons for how the obey me boys would react to a Mc who goes nonverbal sometimes (especially when they aren't feeling well mentally)? If you don't wanna do all, I'd just really love to see Beel, Barbatos, Diavolo and Luke!

I hope you have an amazing day🌼

I’m going to start off by just saying when I get really depressed and my thoughts and headspace are worse than usual this is my main mechanism to cope. So, I’m going to write this based on my experiences and go from there if you want me to rewrite it please say so. I’m also going to try and keep the headcannons for this as gender-neutral.

Lucifer

Lucifer is very observant and even more so when it comes to you

When he read your file he understood you had anxiety and depression, based on that he believed he had a clue what it was going to be like with you here in the devildom

Unfortunately, he was slightly off (he was completely incorrect, but he won’t admit that.)

He realized not too long after a week or two here with you in devildom that when you have really bad anxiety you tend to keep it to yourself and when your thoughts are too much you tend to do the same

He also saw that you’d try to keep answers as short as possible when feeling like this

Luci asked you to come by his office during school so that none of his brothers would interrupt, he ended up telling you that if there’s anything that he can do such as pulling you out of classes some days and just helping you privately or putting a proper lock on your door at the HoL you can just tell him and it doesn’t have to be in person, but a call, a text, an email, or a letter just let him know

He’s the most understanding of the brothers surprisingly

Mammon

Mammon isn’t exactly observant, but does notice 

He noticed some days your answers to questions were so short or so quiet that they were almost nonexistent

Mammon was concerned about what was wrong with his human, but didn’t know what to do besides just talk to you about it

One night when you left to your room to be alone and just sit down away from anyone he actually knocked on your door instead of barging in

When he came in he sat across from you on the floor, he asked what was wrong or if there’s something that he needs to fix 

You told him that when everything becomes too much you don’t really like to talk and want to be in a more quiet place

He ended up making a door hanger that told him if it was okay for him to barge in or if today you just needed time alone (he looked like a tomato when giving it to you, he felt so embarrassed)

Anything that makes his human comfortable

Leviathan

Anxiety? Depression? Nonverbal? Levi understands this all too well, but because this is the case he’s like the last one to notice

He doesn’t really notice mainly because he’s often in his room or in his head

He ended up finding out about it because you only gave him yes and no as an answer the whole weekend and thought it was because you didn’t want to be around a nasty otaku and confronted you outside your bedroom

You had to explain that you just go basically silent when your depression and anxiety became too much to handle and said you were sorry

Now Levi felt bad after you shut the door

He went out and got some mangas, animes, and candies and left them outside (after making sure Beel wouldn’t eat them and Mammon wouldn’t take them) and left a letter and a text message apologizing and telling you that he does the same thing and he’s really sorry that he jumped the gun and if you ever want to hang out with him in silence in his room you’re more than welcome to whenever you want

Satan

Satan notices almost as fast as Lucifer

He didn’t really say anything to you about it, but when he would see signs that today isn’t a good day he usually would keep his pranks on Lucifer to himself and see if maybe you want to play with the cats or go to a nice quiet cafe he found not too long ago

On good days he also tries to reach out and just be with you just to be sure you’re okay

Honestly does a ten out of ten job when it comes to being around you on good and bad days (he doesn’t even realize he’s benefiting from it and that he's much calmer recently)

Asmodeus

Asmo is very touchy-feely and some days you don’t like being touchy-feely

Asmo only asked about it because you wouldn’t cuddle with him the last few days

When he realized he apologized and said that if it’s not a good day today then whenever it is please come by he really loves to spend time with you, but won’t force you to do something that you’re not comfortable with

You guys cuddle every now and again because it does help sometimes and either he’ll whisper sweet nothings to you or he’ll just stay quiet and rub your head or back

When you don’t cuddle he’ll bring you tea and a nice pillow or two from his room so that you can rest or just sit more comfortably

Beelzebub

(I think that Beel is an empath and that’s why Beel gets upset by others being upset) When Beel gets the first signs that today isn’t a good day he usually gives you some of his food or asks if you need anything

He doesn’t quite understand it, but he wants to make you happy even if it takes a few days for that to happen

You ask Beel for cuddles or to just sit with you consider it done and sometimes Belphie will be there (usual he is, he just happens to always be where Beel is)

And you guys just form a cuddle pile and nap either in your room, the twins’ room, or in the observatory

Belphegor

He literally is too busy being asleep to notice and I don’t think would ever find out

One moment he’s in one room the next he’s in yours cuddling with you and Beel 

Doesn’t mind too much (mainly because quiet means he can sleep)

Only realizes if someone says something to him about it, but no one asks him cause they go to you first

Clueless sleepy boi

Diavolo

He noticed because he could barely hear you one day and thought you were sick and was about to send you home with Lucifer (who had a bunch of papers he needed to sign off on and would grow immensely if not taken care of)

You explained that it wasn’t necessary and that today was just a bad day

He asked if you wanted to go home and just finish your schoolwork or some makeup work at the HoL or in his office so that you can be in more quiet and accommodating space

Every now and again you’ll do school work in Diavolo’s office and have little sandwiches and tea with him and Lucifer

Barbatos

Literally knows before you got here (he can see the future lmao)

He packs little gift baskets and things like that for you full of your favorite things and has them delivered that day or those days

He has to be with Diavolo all the time, but surprisingly is able to help with these little things that he sends you

You end up exchanging gifts and gift baskets every now and again and when he did get a day off you ended up spending it together and going to ristorante six

Simeon

Doesn’t spend much time with you outside school, but he does notice a few things that he considered odd 

He wondered why you were so meek some days, but quite vocal others

He also saw how you’d keep to yourself and stay away from people especially large groups and then other days you’d be around all of the brothers laughing

He asked Lucifer about it and he explained the situation (Lucifer trusts Simeon to an extent, but knows that Simeon only asks for your well being and no other reason)

After learning the situation he becomes less curious as to what the problem is and more curious on how to help you

When needing to get in groups in classes the brothers aren’t closer or aren’t in he’ll partner with you and make sure that you’re comfortable

Luke

Sweet boy doesn’t understand other than your sad

Makes you cakes, cupcakes, cookies, and all sorts of sweet treats

He also loves to make sure that you’re heard and stays really quiet so he can hear what you have to say

He doesn’t get it, but he does have the spirit

Soloman

Oh boy where do I begin with this one

Soloman notices, he notices everything

Is he good at this type of stuff though? No, no he is not

Wants you to try out potions and tell him the effects, but can’t hear you

Is that an effect or is that just you?

When not experimenting he’s better and tries to find things that make you happy 

Do you want cuddles? Done. Do you want food? I’ll get something from Hell’s Kitchen. Do you want to go for a stroll? I know a really good lookout point where we can be alone.

Literally, just don’t go in the potions room and you’ll have something helpful

[lloydskywalkers]

Hey, I sent this ask once already but I don't think it went through??? (If it did I apologize for bugging you!) I read this fic you wrote a while ago about Lloyd and Ronin talking during season 5 after that part where Morro sends that fake message, and I'd like to read it again but I can't find it? Could you link it please? Sorry again for bothering you.

Hey no don’t worry about it, I’m glad you asked!! One, because I’m almost positive Tumblr ate your other ask; and two, because I am a hundred percent positive Tumblr also ate that particular fic :’) I was going to just repurpose it for a later season 5 fic, but I’ll go ahead and post it below the cut in case you’d like to read it a whole lot sooner XD

If Lloyd was any less exhausted right now, he’d have some choice words for Morro about shoving him in a cage, of all things. 

Because really, of all things, a cage? Again? Morro’s so proud of himself and his precious plan, he could at least get creative while he’s at it. Spice Lloyd’s life up a little every once in a while, instead of sticking with the same stupid routine every other person who’s ever gone after his powers has. 

But unfortunately, Lloyd is so bone-tired right now he doesn’t even know if he could manage a glare hot enough for Morro, and if he’s going to pick a fight with him, he’d like to be able to finish it without passing out from sheer exhaustion in the middle. He’s been humiliated enough, and he’s clinging to the meager shreds of his pride he has left with a stubbornness.  

A stubbornness that’s fading faster than he’d like, so when it takes Ronin three tries before Lloyd realizes he’s saying something to him, it feels a bit like rubbing salt in a wound. 

“Huh?” he manages, scrubbing at his eye and wincing as the bruise behind it throbs. His vision clears a bit, at least, enough to where Ronin stops looking as much like a brown blob on the floor and more like…well, Ronin, tied up on the floor. 

Right, he remembers, with a sinking pit of ice in his stomach. They’d used Ronin to send a message to the others. The thought of his team heading into a trap makes his stomach writhe into painful knots, and he struggles to sit up, as much as he can in the cramped cage. 

“I asked if you were alive up there,” Ronin’s saying. He still looks pale and shaken from when Morro possessed him earlier, but his voice sounds firmer than it did, less like the trembling rasp he’d tried to curse Morro out with before he’d left them both alone. 

Save your strength. I’ll be needing it. 

Morro’s words float through Lloyd’s head like particularly unwelcome knives, and he shoves the thought of what’s coming away.

“I’m—” his attempt at a reply cuts off in harsh coughing, his throat dry and scratchy from hosting Morro’s voice as much as he has. And probably from the lack of hydration. That might have something to do with it. “Yeah, m’alive,” he finally manages, his voice thin. 

“Figured that, with all the racket up there,” Ronin says, but there’s a note of relief in his voice. 

Lloyd doesn’t know what to say back to that, so he shuts his mouth, staring hazily at the bars of the cage as they blur and swim in his vision. Ronin doesn’t say anything either, save for an occasional huff as he twists his arms in his bonds, rubbing his hands together as if to quell the small tremors that still run through them. Lloyd studies him closer, how unnaturally grey his color still is, and his stomach twists again. He knows too well how that feels.  

Maybe he should have picked that fight. 

Lloyd bites his lip, slumping back against the cage bars. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs, and he hates how young he sounds.

Ronin tilts his head up at him, the corners of his eyes creasing. “What are you sorry for?” he says. “You’ve got it a lot worse than me, kid.”

“Well— maybe, but—” Lloyd stutters. “It’s my…if I hadn’t…I should’ve fought back. When he possessed you, and…everything else.”

“In your shape?” Ronin eyes him, and Lloyd shrinks under his scrutiny. “You look like death warmed over. In a busted microwave. Nice sentiment, kid, but there’s no sense in gettin’ yourself trashed for me.”

“I wouldn’t have gotten trashed,” Lloyd mutters, crossing his arms tighter around himself.

“Yeah, you would’ve, already have,” Ronin scoffs. “You’re just like the rest of ‘em, suicidal hero kids, all of you.”

“I’m the Green Ninja,” Lloyd snaps, hoping desperately that Ronin doesn’t catch the waver in his voice. “I’m not — I should be able to take him. I shouldn’t be here, I should—“

“Please,” Ronin cuts over him, sounding tired. “You’re what, ten?”

Lloyd blinks rapidly, before scowling. “I’m fourteen.”

“—fourteen, FSM help me.” Ronin runs a hand over his forehead, trailing it down to pinch the bridge of his nose. He shakes his head, going silent for a beat.

“Fourteen,” he repeats, voice quieter. “FSM.”

Lloyd doesn’t know what to say back to that, either. He feels very small and a bit stupid, which is kind of how he’s been feeling all the time lately, and he’s not a fan. 

“Still should’ve stopped him,” he finally mumbles, wrapping his arms around his legs so he can rest his chin on his knees. 

“You couldn’t’ve stopped him,” Ronin says, bluntly. “Morro’s crazy, kid. He’s hellbent on that Green Ninja thing, and he’s the kinda hellbent that gets people killed.”

Lloyd frowns. “It’s my title. It’s my job, I want to be able to keep it—“

“Could you kill someone for it?”

Lloyd flinches back, eyes going wide. “Wha— no! No, I couldn’t — wouldn’t, I’m not — I don’t—“

“There you go, kid,” Ronin sighs, cutting over Lloyd’s floundering. “Morro doesn’t care how many people he has to get rid of, so long as he gets that gi. He’s always gonna have that upper hand on you. Different playing fields.”

Lloyd stares at him, taken aback. He’s never thought about it like that before, and he doesn’t think he’d like to. Just because Morro’s more — more bloodthirsty, or whatever, doesn’t mean he’s stronger. It doesn’t mean Lloyd won’t fight for the green gi.

Lloyd presses his lips together. “That doesn’t mean — I’d still fight for it. I-I’d die for it, if I had to.”

“I bet you would,” Ronin snorts, without humor. “But you won’t kill anyone else. Death is only on the board if it’s yours. You’re the worst kind of selfless type, I’ve seen it before.”

Lloyd chews on his lip, at a loss. Talking with Ronin is confusing, he decides, too confusing for the headache that’s building behind his eyes, at least. He keeps ending up lost for words, and he doesn’t like that. Doesn’t like feeling wrong-footed, though that’s definitely nothing new—

“You shouldn’t,” Ronin suddenly says. 

“Huh?”

“Die for it,” he continues, sounding insistent now. “You shouldn’t. Don’t. Your life’s worth a lot more than some scrap of green, kid.”

Lloyd tilts his head, momentarily thrown by the direction the conversation’s turned. “I…I don’t want to,” he admits, weakly. “I just—“

“Then don’t,” Ronin interrupts, bluntly. “Stay alive. Fight dirty if you have to, you’re Garmadon’s kid. Don’t let your family’s never-ending fling with destiny take you down with ‘em.”

“That’s not — I’m not trying to die,” Lloyd insists, irritated now. 

“And you got people waiting for you,” Ronin continues, ignoring him. “Your team, y’know, they’re real anxious to get you back.” A flicker of emotion crosses his face, almost like regret. “They’re uh. Puttin’ up a real fight for ya, kid.”

Lloyd squeezes his eyes shut tightly, fighting back the sudden burn. “I know they are.” 

“Good thing, then. So just, uh. Don’t give up on ‘em, okay? Be a real shame if they gave me this much trouble for nothing.”

Yeah, I’ll bet they gave you trouble, Lloyd thinks, his throat tightening. He shakes his head, blinking back the burn in his eyes. Enough. His family’s out there, fighting for him, and that’s enough for him. 

“I’m not gonna die,” he says fiercely, dragging the fire that’s left in him from the smoldering embers in his chest. “I’m gonna beat him. And then I’m going to end the Cursed Realm, before it ever gets here. And I am not. Going to die.”

Ronin’s eyes flash with an emotion Lloyd can’t name, but he nods, seemingly satisfied. He turns away, the scars on his cheek standing out as he stares through the clouded window. 

“You know what’s in the Cursed Realm, right, kid?”

Ronin’s voice is gravely, rough in ways that makes Lloyd think of the hardened kind of people he’d run into on the streets occasionally. People who were used to life going the worst way possible, and were ready for it. He used to want to be one of those people. Now he thinks he might be scared he’s going to get his wish. 

But there’s an undercurrent of what could be sympathy in Ronin’s voice, if Lloyd looks for it. He swallows.

“Yeah,” he mumbles. “Yeah, I know.”

“You good with ending that, too?”

Lloyd swallows again, and this time it gets stuck in his throat.

“I have to be, I guess,” he whispers.

Ronin closes his eyes, leaning his head back against the wooden wall, and Lloyd feels kind of like he used to when he’d turn a test in at Darkley’s, and had no idea whether he’d passed or failed. “S’what I thought.”

Lloyd turns his head away, biting his lip hard enough to taste metal. 

He doesn’t know what to say to that, either, so he doesn’t say anything more. 

He’s supposed to be saving his strength, after all. 

[rpbetter]

hello! this might be a very simple question, but how do you deal with mutuals ( and non-mutuals too ) who very clearly have not read your rules? asking because I’ve had this happen to me multiple times and I frequently get newcomers who comment on my posts and send in ic starters without giving me a chance to actually check their blog and see if I want to write with them. that and my rules state very clearly that I am mutuals only and for followers to not interact with my posts if we are not mutuals.

It isn't a very simple question! It's just an unfortunately common one that isn't simple (or fully possible) to fix. How do you fix something when you're the only one playing by the, very literally meant and otherwise, rules while everyone else is determined to flout them?

What I do probably isn't especially nice, I'll be honest, but can be effective. So long as you're aware that this is almost certainly not going to result in them turning around and reading the rules, apologizing for the mistake, and becoming awesome mutuals with you. Which, you probably are aware. If this is an ongoing issue, I'm sure you have, at some point, had to bring it up to one of them. Thus, you know that very few people react well to being told, no matter how politely, that they've got to follow your rules.

I message them via tumblr's IM and say something as to the effect of, "Hey, I see you commented/tagged me in a starter/sent a starter to my inbox. Have you read my rules?"

The answer is usually an astonishing "yes."

Which...could not be more glaringly false. I'm also mutuals only and both specify and remind in my rules that I require plotting first, so, I don't accept random starters of any variety.

Though, there are occasionally some people bold enough to not lie. Instead, they outright tell me that no, they didn't read "all of them" because "they're too long." On the one hand? Yeah, I do appreciate honesty. On the other hand? Are you kidding me? Exactly no one in the RPC ever has said it's fine to treat their rules like it is a toppings bar at a frozen yogurt shop, and even if they did, it definitely doesn't say that anywhere in mine. It would still behoove someone to read something as critical as how another RPer accepts mutuals and begins writing with them. The added attitude problem as though one should be incredibly thankful for the attention despite the great inconvenience of having rules, that's just a bonus.

Most of them, however, will claim to have read your rules. That gives you the right to say something like, "You say that, but you're already breaking them. I am mutuals only, we are not mutuals, but you are trying to interact with my posts and send me starters. Sorry, but I don't want to write with someone who not only refused to read my rules first but also lied about it."

You can either block them at that point or stick around for them to go absolutely, holiday style, cooked ham on the egregious wrong you've done them. Just blocking is definitely better, you don't want to convince them to read the rules, do you? You don't. And that is why I am fine with approaching it in this way - I don't want this person as my writing partner, this is the worst foot possible to start on, it isn't going to get better from here on out if they're already disrespectful and lying to me about it.

For the record, there was exactly one instance in which I tried to give someone a chance when they claimed that they just "followed so many blogs" that they thought they'd read my rules but were mistaken and now would, immediately. Even while doing it, I was regretting the decision, wondering if I would ever be able to feel like this person wasn't being deceptive, if they'd only proceed to do more things like this, and if I really wanted to write with someone prone to following so many blogs at once they couldn't remember whether they read some of the rules. No spoiler alert necessary, I think you know how this ended. The behavior was consistent, yes. I'd have to remind them that I do not write x or that doing y OOC wasn't alright with a near daily regularity.

If another mun does not feel like your rules are of value enough for their time at any point in your involvement, it doesn't really matter why or how it happened. Ultimately, it says something about how they view you. You exist as a piece of their outlet-hobby-entertainment, not as another person who has boundaries and needs. It doesn't matter if it is a hobby, any time you make a choice to interact with other people, trying your best to be aware of their boundaries and needs is necessary, period.

So, again, you don't actually want these people around. You're trying to have a good time here, too, and have requirements that allow you to do so just like everyone else does (even if those requirements appear to be...no requirements). You certainly don't have to try to talk to them, it's not going to benefit you anyway. I do it because, quite irrationally probably, I feel like it might benefit either them or someone else they try to interact with down the line. They'll be pissed off at me, they'll very likely call everyone with legitimate rules or the requirement of being mutuals only "elitists" for a while, but maybe they will mature a bit in the future to understand. Hell, maybe they'll just have an easier time of knowing at-a-glance-style what blogs they're not really going to mesh with, and as such, will avoid them for a better time for all involved.

Breaking rules immediately like this is one of the times I'm totally fine with advising that someone just block, though. This isn't a situation where you've established communication with them, agreed to writing with them, or any such thing. Your sole basis of interaction is them not reading your rules and doing whatever they want at cost to your comfort. So, if you want to handle it by blocking? Block away.

The only thing you can truly control here is what you do, try to look at what could be causing this to be an easily repeating situation and work on that. You are never going to stop everyone from doing this sort of thing, but you might be able to trim it down to one a year or so, and that's a win!

So, what can you do?

Take a look at your blog and rules. I'm sure you already have "mutuals only" in your blog description, but just in case you don't, make sure it is there. Additionally, make sure it is visibly there. Don't bury that kind of thing under a lengthy character quote or other information, that gives people an excuse not to see it. Try listing that it is a multi or the muse's name and immediately after that put your blog requirements. Age needed to interact, mutuals only, and then other information like selectivity type, activity level, and one-liner/single-para/multipara/novella. I know that this isn't the height of aesthetic value, but your blog has a lot of great places for those bad ass, evocative quotes, and so long as it isn't going to be inaccessible, you can make this information visually appealing still.

You just really want to be sure it is right there when someone floats over your URL and gets the preview or gets the dash-view on desktop or mobile view of your blog in the app. Consider strongly how it looks on the full view of your blog, as well. While visits to the full blog aren't extremely common anymore, they tend to be more so when someone is first following/thinking of following. You want this information to be clear, not obscured by the blog's theme aesthetics!

Be sure you are providing no excuse for the rules not to be read in other ways as well. Your blog theme really should be one that transfers easily to mobile viewing, in and out of the app, but regardless, even if the theme's mobile version does have a menu for accessing pages, provide a link in an easily accessible and difficult to ignore place. Put it right in your blog description, "*read rules* before interacting" with the words between the * * being linked to your rules page/post. Make a pinned post where (in addition to reiterating that you only accept whatever age and up, are mutuals only, etc.) you have links to your most important pages, the rules page being the first one there. Make that link stupidly big, put some arrows by it, be obnoxious, just make sure it is there.

Even if you are not mobile-friendly from an interaction standpoint, someone is likely to come across your blog, sooner or later, while they're bored on the bus or a lunch break. This gives them no reason to not go ahead and read your rules before they follow you, and additionally, can cut down on potentially missing the people who won't follow without reading, but who forgot your URL by the time they got to desktop again.

It isn't necessary to do anything more elaborate, either. If you want to do a Google Doc or Carrd, go right ahead, but that is literally not necessary and shouldn't be a thing that holds you up with being yet another demand to make something Really Pretty But Accessible. Linking to a damn rules page or post works just fine on mobile, especially in the case of a post, like...if your mutuals cannot view a post from you, I don't know you're writing with them outside of doing so in real-time. So, again, if that's a creative endeavor that appeals to you, make yourself happy with it! If it's stressful or seems redundant to you, make yourself happy by not doing it.

In your rules, be mindful of how you are organizing information. The problem is that people are not reading the rules, so, they're probably not even getting to this point, but for the portion of muns who get to the rules only to skim them, this is a good thing to consider. Like the blog description, make sure you are not unintentionally burying the most important information to have at a glance. Yes, you do want people to read all of it, but you cannot assume they're actually going to. When that is the case, the best preventative measure you can hope for is putting the information that might tell them your way of interacting isn't for them upfront.

These things are all those already touched on in your blog description and pinned post, but with things like "mutuals only," you can expand a little in your rules as to what that means for you. It seems like a very clear thing to me, but I know that I've seen confusion about this and other common terminology like "selective." The whole point is to make this as unquestionable as possible, no guessing for anyone if they've made it to your rules.

Something like, "Mutuals only. I only write with mutuals, don't send or tag me in starters or start up interaction of any sort on a post until we are both following each other, please."

You can even explain that you need to look at their rules as well, that you can't be sure you will work out together otherwise and do not want to get anything started until then. The important thing is to reiterate that you're mutuals only and what they should not do until you've followed back. If you're not comfortable interacting OOC until that happens, be sure you state that as well, this is something that leaves some people feeling anxious about what they should do. Some muns are alright with non-mutuals messaging them or even sending in memes meant to be answered OOC, while other muns are not.

If people are determined to forgo your rules to this extent, nothing you can do is going to stop that, but you might catch a few by being certain your requirements cannot be missed.

Other than that, what can you do?

If it's happening a lot, this is a problem with where you are, or in some other way, the sort of people you're attracting to your blog. Somehow, you're getting muns who are viewing RP differently than you are. If you can figure out how this is happening, you can cut down on the number of incidents by changing this aspect.

You might want to consider how you're advertising your blog, if you are at all, and the mutuals you have in common with the new followers. They're coming from somewhere, and it might be a significant part of the problem.

Gaining new mutuals through existent mutuals is great when it works out. I think that's one of the best ways to find new people you might work out with, but unfortunately, not everyone involved is looking at it that way. Some people are always going to look at the people their mutuals are writing with and disregard any reasons why they shouldn't write with them as well, just seeing that if my friend writes with this mun, I can and should. This is especially true if you are either a more popular blog or have a more in-demand canon character. You sort of become a commodity, other muns act like it is criminally unfair that you have requirements that might prevent interaction, if they bother to look at all.

If you have a handful of mutuals who have no similar requirements to yours, are non-selective/non-private/will accept and immediately begin RP with anyone who approaches, they could be the problem. This is unfortunate and a bit uncomfortable, they're not problems in and of themselves, but their approach is attracting people less respectful than they are. It is giving other people, especially those newer to RP, the wrong idea about everyone else they interact with visibly.

This can be true when we've branched too far apart in how we RP as well. There might be mutuals from when you first started years ago who are still happy with that approach, while you no longer are. Most people, when they first begin RPing, do simply want to maximize the fun and interactions. The cultivation of space begins to be necessary after they're around long enough to experience some problems and to want more lasting interactions, begin to feel comfortable with writing a particular way, and generally, get a feel for what they do and do not want and enjoy. For a few people, though, that never changes. (And that's fine if everyone is being respectful.) They tend to be excellent places to start for newer RPers, they've got experience but are still incredibly accessible to newcomers. Unfortunately, that means that their mutuals are likely to end up being a sort of testing ground as well when they didn't sign up for it.

It isn't these mutuals' are doing anything wrong, it isn't their fault, we cannot (nor should we seek to) control the actions of everyone on dashes, but as you are the only person you can control, you may need to assess what is best for you if this is what might be happening. You might need to consider who you should kindly part ways with while you continue to cultivate more mutuals who have the same basic requirements you do. Kindly. You certainly don't need to tell them that the muns coming through them to your blog are causing you issues, just that your styles have changed a lot and you don't think it is working out any longer. Unless, whoever it is happens to be a good friend who is capable of not taking that personally and hatefully, then, yes, by all means, tell them. They definitely deserve the right to make changes if they wish to do so! But, if it is someone who this information is only going to bring to anger or self-chastisement, that isn't a very nice thing to do when the issue can be resolved otherwise.

You can even make a polite announcement on the dash about needing to change a few things in order to cultivate your space better. You very much appreciate all of your mutuals, but there are some things that, the longer you've been established, are beginning to take a toll. In order to continue enjoying RP and feel less stressed, you're going to have to be making some changes, you want everyone to know none of this is personal, but you're forced to part ways with some threads and mutuals.

And then, please, for the sake of the good people you are interacting with, don't just unfollow and/or block without saying a word to them. That can be incredibly upsetting to folks to suddenly have happen when they thought everything was fine, and it should be considered that nearly everyone here has some manner of mental health situation they're working with. People can feel like it is ridiculous all they want to, the reality is that doing such a thing to people who suffer from RSD, for instance, is really, honestly, kind of mean as hell.

So, don't be that person! If you are not capable of approaching the mutuals you do write with that you need to let go of to warn them and be clear that it is based on nothing they've done, it is simply that you are going in different directions, don't go this route. If you aren't able to answer any (non-demanding, non-hateful) questions they might have with kindness and patience, don't do it. Because, I promise you, someone will ask. It'll be too nebulous for someone involved, and it's actually a good thing when people want to know if they're doing something wrong so they can fix it in the future, we shouldn't discourage that, right? Right. Unless, again, they're doing it in a demanding, hostile, nasty way themselves, refusing to accept your decision and all that. Then, yeah, no. You just go ahead and stop engaging at that point, you're done.

Additionally, if you feel like you do need to do that, please don't leave a vague-seeming (not vague as in Vague, the normal, non-tumblr usage) post like that up for days without taking any action. Make it as clear as possible what you are intending to do and when, and stick to it. No one deserves the anxiety of wondering if you're going to drop them and why. Make the statement, reblog it in a few hours, and take action that day. Make sure you have the time and mental energy to deal with it first! You know, insofar as possible, we certainly cannot predict when something offline is going to suck our time or energy unexpectedly. Just try to be mindful of others, remember that they're not the actual problem, just the vessel thereof.

Sometimes, this problem can resolve itself less directly, too. Many people who have this sort of approach frequently move blogs or go on long hiatuses...and then move blogs, fandoms, muses, and so on. You're not obligated to follow anyone, let alone repeatedly. If it might help to start phasing out this blog-type and phasing in those more like yourself, it really can be as simple as not following them to their next iteration. Again, if they take the initiative and follow you or send a message prompting you to follow or explain, be nice about it while being firm. Go through your followers for those who have been on long, long hiatuses, their blogs pretty much abandoned at this point, and unfollow them. It can be a bit of a shock anyway when you forgot all about someone from five years ago, but now they're back, have revamped, and want to write with you exactly like they did five years ago! That's fine when you're both still at that same place, but a lot of the time, you're not. It's a great way for prolonging situations in which we no longer mesh and are encouraging cross-over mutuals who mesh no better.

So, while I don't advocate ditching people who keep mutuals up to date on their hiatus status or going through one's followers every month to nix those who haven't replied in two weeks, I do advocate keeping up with your followers list for this reason. If it has been years? It might be years too long depending on how you've changed. And because I am the worst, apparently, none of that means it is wrong because I don't personally advise it. This isn't a case of something as extreme as harassment, it is definitely a difference of how muns want or need to run their blogs. It's too extreme for me, but if that is something made clear in a mun's rules that is necessary for them, it's their prerogative.

Cultivating mutuals more like yourself will, additionally, act as its own counter-signal of sorts. With people who are going to hit follow just because they like your muse and you exist, it isn't going to matter - they don't care enough to be looking at your interactions with others, after all. It's a system of see-follow-interact for those muns. However, it absolutely does cut down on those who actually visit your blog or might pay attention to your interactions through a mutual of theirs. At this point, any sort of cutting down is good! And, again, the more people like yourself you have as mutuals, the less likely they are going to be bringing polar opposites to the party with no invite.

No matter how tempting, don't follow people/follow back if the blog isn't mutuals only. Don't do it anymore. It doesn't matter if they have that one muse you want to interact with really bad, their portrayal is perfect, and they adhere to other people's rules (such as being sure to be mutuals with you when you are mutuals only and they are not). They are a cracked door for less reasonable muns to come in. That sounds extreme, but until this problem lessens some, you really do have to look at what potential partners are bringing into your time negatively as well as positively.

Only follow or follow back if the blog is mutuals only, and for good measure, only if they seem to have the same basic expectations and priorities that you do as well. That should become easier, too. Cultivating your space is an ongoing effort, it can be thought of much like cultivating a garden. Initially, it is a great deal of work and might seem to yield minimal rewards, but as it becomes established, your caretaking starts to perpetuate itself and you'll see easier and more plentiful rewards for what you're putting in. The effort you're taking right now might not immediately stop the issues, but eventually, surrounding yourself with the people you want to write with and suit you better will bring the same through them. Just like it works the other way around!

You might need to step a bit out of the box, though. It's very possible that your fandom is seeing an influx of newcomers to RP, or has grown very small, with a heavier influence of one type of RPer. Looking outside of your usual spaces and muse preferences might be necessary. It's always uncomfortable to step into new things, but it could be rewarding in more than just slowing down this problem for you!

In any case, some fandoms, and corners thereof in the case of huge ones, act as a transition point every now and then for RPers who have "graduated" from being minors in minor-dominant/intended fandoms. They're looking to move into more adult spaces, and while that is great, their experience isn't always the same as ours. Very few rules and maximum number of interactions seems to be a common issue there. If the fandom(s) you RP in happen to be popular with a new release of media recently, this might be a factor in what is happening. This can also be the case with "comfort" fandoms that have a mix of adult and minor RPers that they used to RP in or love the material within, so, they are now returning to it.

Absolutely no fandom to RP in is without its issues, but there are areas of the larger ones that are predominantly adult, experienced RPers, and some fandoms are all around that way. You might want to consider checking out other places of interest to see if you can find a group of people who are little more serious about rules, and if you do, making a crossover verse for your muse to participate.

Other than trying to find those more on the same page...

Some RPers like to use a password, but the issue you're having isn't that you need to know muns have read them. You already know they haven't. Putting a password in your rules isn't going to make anyone read them, so, I don't know what the point would be in you doing so.

If that is something you'd like to do, of course, you can. You should know it can be a bit of a perennially hot button issue, however. Some muns are extremely for them, some are outright volatile about others having them. Personally, I've had people quote pieces of my rules and talk about them with me, clearly having read them, but this did not stop them from doing a variety of things breaking those rules. I do not see that adding a word or phrase would be any different - people are either going to read and adhere or they're not going to. So, it isn't something for me, but if it makes you feel like it is added security, you should go for it!

You could have in your rules (that they won't read, but it's good to do anyway) that if someone follows you without you following back to become mutuals, you will softblock to force an unfollow from now on. Or, if they aren't mutuals with you and try to interact on posts, you will hard block them from this point on. Then, obviously, do that. If they're not going to read your rules like this, you're not missing out on anything or being mean by enforcing your boundaries. They were warned in the rules they wouldn't read. This would at least stop the same people from trying it repeatedly.

This is such an annoying issue, and a little more, really. If they're not reading your rules while trying to start up interactions with you, who has not read theirs or has read them and do not feel alright about the situation, both sides of the equation could be exposing each other to things they need and want to avoid. It's really not cool, and I'm sorry that people are being so disrespectful. Try to figure out where they're coming from and plug that hole, handle the ones that are doing it with a block. I hope you find something that helps some!